#Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

1982 Eddie Van Halen defends Diver Down: "They're good f**kin' songs..." (phone interview)

July 30, 1982 — a couple weeks into the tour for Diver Down, Eddie talks to Jas Obrecht for Guitar Player Magazine. Ed talks about the new album and defends all the cover songs ...

"They're good fuckin' songs, why shouldn't they be redone the way we do 'em for a new generation of people" ...

"I don't think any cover tune we've ever done sounds like the original. It takes almost as much time to make a cover tune sound original as it does writing a song. -- so fuck the critics!"

~~~

38 years later, couldn't agree more with Eddie. Diver Down is an amazing Van Halen record on par with the others that gets dogged far too often for the cover tunes. A fun, summertime Van Halen extravaganza. A big part of Van Halen was their fun, party vibe and this is their most fun, party vibe album ever recorded.

- 4 of their coolest original songs (Hang Em High, Secrets!, Little Guitars, The Full Bug)

-3 amazing & innovative Eddie instrumental pieces

- Plus a handful of fun cover tunes that were totally Van Halen-ized including Ed and Al's dad playing on a song and a Van Halen concert staple with "Happy Trails" that was played on every show from 1982-1984.

- The Mighty Van Halen

[rastronomicals]

10:39 PM EST January 5, 2023:

Van Halen - "Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)" From the album Diver Down (April 14, 1992)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: EP's presented as albums

[cupcakeshakesnake]

HELLO UM-

Your little Harbour PotC AU gives me absolute life, just for the record. Even tho i am very very late, thank you for making it :D

There is a headcanon I got that wouldn't leave my brain after looking at your art, originating from that one conversation between Beckett and Jack where there were some implications about canon being everyone’s previous lives. Whether this is actually a part of your au or not, it got me thinking eheheh

Theoretically, (perhaps in an au of an au, if this headcanon contradicts your lore,) what if your au and canon were the same 'verse, just several hundred years later? And what if not everybody were on their second life?

We obviously have a sprinkling of supernatural stuff, so what if the secretly-a-goddess Calypso and immortally-cursed Davy Jones were the OGs that they were in the films? Like, Davy Jones maybe came back somehow (as per movie 5's end-credit scene lol) and took back the role of the Dutchman's Captian after Will went back to Shipwreck Cove. All is good.

He learned his lesson now and actually does his job of ferrying souls. As times changed, so did his ship, in some magical way. She's no longer a sailing ship, and he'll always miss that, but he doesn't mind all that much. His crew usually only stay for that 100 yr contract, so he's seen plenty of sailors come and go. Eventually, he even hires living mortals. Less people die at sea, so by the 20th century, Jones takes a mortal job as a fisherman (or whatever his job is in your au) as well.

Whether or not he knows about the whole reincarnation thing doesn't really matter; the day he employs a familiar man by the name of Bill Turner, he chalks it up to coincidence. Even if Bill has a son named William, well- it's been 200 years, perhaps it's just a really really big coincidence. Either way, it doesn't matter to him.

It's not until he's docked in a small, out-of-the-way harbour, and three troublemaking kids sneak onto the Dutchman that he finally realises. Bill's boy, on his own, is just a matter of coincidence. Those three, together? It's unmistakable. And as bothersome those three pirates were, so long ago, I'd like to think that he looks back on that age, on those people, with some kind of fondness.

(Until he discovers they can be the most INFURIATING little gremlins he's ever met in all his centuries. But he'll find that out later.)

Anyway I drew it :D Have my humble, scribbly offerings.

(I feel bad about running away with this, even as just a headcanon-of-an-au, please don't take this as a 'you should do this' lmao, it's just me adoring all of your content it makes my brain go brrr you are amazing thankyou!!!)

This is so lovely 😭😭😭

The idea of Calypso and Jones being the same ones from canon but just... having had a lot of time to chill down and have a second chance is so??? Imagine what Jones must be thinking looking at those kids... this is so bittersweet (but mostly sweet)

I'm sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to write a proper reply expressing just how much I love this but couldn't get around to it. Hope you don't mind me posting this publicly; I need everyone else to see this as well.

[brown-little-robin]

Narcisso Anasui as Big Bad Bill (Sweet William Now)

long post below the cut :]

[jerzwriter]

Crushed

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Characters: Tobias Carrick x F!MC, the David Gandy

Rating: Teen +

Warnings: Sexual innuendo, nothing big

Words: 1,245

Summary: This is sort of a follow-up to Starstruck, based on this ask by @liaromancewriter. Casey always thinks she's seeing stars - the celebrity version - and on this quick getaway with her husband, she really saw one. Now, Tobias claims he has, too. Does Casey believe him?

A/N: In my HC, Casey has a crush on David Gandy, and she insists he does not look like Ethan. (Conversely, in E/K land, Kaycee has a crush on Jesse Williams and insists he looks nothing like Tobias! lol) So that made this little ask more fun! Ironically, the Tobias & Casey edit was also made by @liaromancewriter - so this works perfectly!

Their flight was delayed…again. As much as Casey and Tobias enjoyed their little getaway, they were anxious to get home to their little girl. Tobias sensed that this latest delay was pushing his wife to her limits. So, doing what any good husband would do… he immediately offered to get her chocolate. After an appreciative kiss, he was on his way. 

After a short wait on line, he was heading back to Casey with her Snickers bar in hand, nibbling on a Kit Kat of his own, when the collision occurred. Tobias and both candy bars tumbled to the ground as the man who knocked him down struggled to stay on his feet.  

“Ah, shit!” Tobias moaned as the well-dressed man offered his hand to help him to his feet. The look of sincere contrition on the stranger’s face disarmed Tobias immediately.

“So sorry, mate!” The man stated with a distinctly British accent. “Completely my fault. I heard the announcement of a gate change after bumping my flight for the fifth time, and…” he sighed. “No matter, it’s no fault of yours, and now look what I’ve done!”

“Hey, no sweat,” Tobias grinned as he dusted himself off. “Accidents happen. There were no casualties, so we’re good.”

The well-dressed man looked down to see a scrape on Tobias’s knee and two pulverized chocolate bars.

“I think those chocolate bars would disagree with you, and look at your knee….”

“Ah, the knee is nothing,” Tobias waved. “My wife and I are both doctors. We can more than handle a little scrape. But I better get her another candy bar, or she might not be willing to help me at all.”

“Oh my, I do feel bad,” the gentleman fretted as he grabbed his wallet and handed Tobias a fifty-dollar bill. “Here, this is the least I can do. Get some sweets for your wife before you return to her. I’m a family man myself, and you know the saying, happy wife, happy life.”

“It’s really not necessary…” Tobias started… when something about the man’s smile stopped him cold. “Hey, wait a minute… I know you… you’re….”

Attention all passengers. Flight 4776, departing from gate 26 to Heathrow International Airport is boarding. Final call for all passengers on flight number 4776 to Heathrow.

“As much as I’d love to stay and chat, I’m afraid they’re playing my song.”

“Yes! Go! Go! But please take this,” Tobias attempted to hand back the money.

“No! It’s the least I can do! Get something sweet for your lady, and tell her David is terribly sorry about your knee!”

“DAVID!” Tobias gasped as the suited man disappeared into the crowd. 

Still a little flabbergasted, Tobias returned to Casey sans chocolate bar. She looked up from her book as he approached with a slight pout.

“Tobias,” she frowned. “Where’s my Snickers?”

“Pulverized,” he deadpanned.

“Huh?”

“Case… you’re never going to believe what happened. I was minding my own business, eating my Kit Kat, when some guy plowed into me.”

She looked her husband over, interrupting him when she reached his knee. “Oh my goodness!” she blurted upon seeing his knee. “Tobias, you’re bleeding!”

“Ah, that’s nothing. Just a little scrape but… the candy bars didn’t survive.”

“That’s OK,” Casey smiled, “as long as you come back to me in one piece, it’s all good.”

Still dumbfounded, Tobias stood dazed, the fifty still in his hand, and Casey was becoming concerned.

“Tobias,” she started. “Are you… OK?”

“Yeah, uh… you’re never going to believe who my assailant was.”

“Well?” She asked with a questioning brow.

“David Gandy.”

A loud snort escaped her. “OK. I had thought you’d stop teasing me about celebrity sightings. Yes, that wasn’t Harry Styles the other night.  But I did see Noah Kahan, and that’s been proven! So can you stop mocking me now?”

“I’m not mocking! I’m serious as a heart attack! He was rushing to his flight, and he slammed right into me! His flight was about to take off, so he gave me this $50 to buy you a new candy bar since he destroyed yours….”

Casey already had her phone in hand. “Tobias, dear. I love you, but what would David Gandy be doing in North Carolina? I mean, come on, he….” her voice trailed as her eyes went wide.

“What is it?” Tobias asked, leaning over her shoulder for a better look at David Gandy’s latest Instagram post.

Tobias plopped into the seat next to Casey, a satisfied smirk on his face. “I told you.”

“You’re the guy he crashed into!?”

“Yep, and he pulverized your Snickers bar.”

“Well! Where the hell is it!?”

“What? The candy bar?”

“YES!!!”

“In the trash.”

“TOBIAS! Why would you do that? David Gandy destroyed my damn candy bar… and you threw it out? I would save that for life!”

“You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not joking at all! But wait! His post says his flight was delayed again… Oh my God! I can find him! I can get another candy bar, and I’ll ask him to step on it so I can keep that one instead!”

“Yeah,” Tobias shuddered, “because that wouldn’t be weird.”

“OK,” Casey jumped to her feet. “I’m going to find him.”

But Tobias grabbed her hand, tugging him back to him before she got far.

“Uh, sweetheart… before you run off… you know that ‘hall pass list’ we always joke about… that is just a joke… right?”

Casey crossed her arms, an impish grin on her lips. “Why, Dr. Carrick? Are you telling me I’m not allowed to screw David if I find him?”

“Well, after you ask him to step on your Snickers bar, I’m sure he’ll be all turned on, but should the opportunity arise… I would really prefer it if you declined.”

“You understand that means if Shakira comes dancing over to you the second I leave… you have to say no, too.”

“Baby,” he sighed. “I don’t want Shakira. I only want you.”

“Right…. tell me you haven’t had a little Casey and Shaira fantasy run through that little mind of yours one or two hundred times?”

Casey broke into a fit of giggles as Tobias yanked her down onto his lap. 

“What are you doing?” she playfully protested.

“Using you to conceal anything that may… come up… if you keep talking like that!”

Casey wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck and plastered a kiss on his cheek.

“Take it easy, Dr. Carrick. The list is all in good fun. You are the only one that I want.”

“You sure of that? ‘Cause far as I know, his flight hasn’t taken off yet.”

“I’m very sure! But, I wish David had merch like Noah – there should be a way for me to get something out of you for this.”

“Well,” Tobias said, lifting the fifty-dollar bill. “You could get fifty dollars of something on David?”

“He really gave this to you?” she asked, eyes full of wonder.

“He did.”

“So… he touched this?”

“That’s kind of how it works, Casey.”

Casey took the bill from his hand and held it against her chest momentarily before carefully placing it in her purse.

“What are you doing with that?” he asked.

“Framing it. The second we get home!”

“I’m hoping you’ll hug Sammy first?”

“Of course.  Then… this is being framed. Oh, what wall should we put it on?”

“You’re not serious?”

“Oh, I’m serious, baby.  Serious as a heart attack.”

Tagging in reblog.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[doyourememberrocknrollradio]

Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now) (2015 Remaster) · Van Halen

[mostly-sketchy]

“Big Bad Bill is Sweet William now, Married life done changed him somehow, He's the man the town used to fear, Now they all call him Sweet Papa Willy Dear” It seems that Anasui is typically associated with Van Halen’s “Pretty Woman” cover from their album Diver Down, but how about I raise you one better-- I hope everyone has a nice day today, regardless of the holiday!💝 Do Not Repost

[darklingichor]

Spare, by Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex

Let's get the obvious out of the way

I'm from the US, I've never really followed the royal family much. Though I'm about a year older than Prince Harry, so I grew up knowing about Princess Diana. I always liked her, thought she did the world so much good with the short time she had on it, and was shocked at the tragedy when she died.

My perspective on the monarchy is that, as an institution, and as a concept, it is outdated, and (from what I understand) is a drain on the British people. But, I don't feel like I can opine on that very much considering that I don't know enough, and don't live with it as a presence in my contry.

It goes without saying that the royal family has a massive amout of privilege and money.

I know the old saying that money can't buy happiness, isn't really true. Money helps because most people would be happier if they didn't have to worry about how their bills, family, and needs were going to be taken care of.

Taking all of this into consideration, I can't be angry at the princes for the life they were born into. I can't say that if I were born into money and such, that I would simply give it all up for ideological reasons. It's easy to insist that I would be like Siddhartha, or that I would fight to make things fair. But I don't *know* that. Especially considering that there seem to be a maze of rules to navigate.

Am I envious that these guys never had to worry about how they were going to pay for college, or about student loans, or do the "Shit, rent is due, but I had to go to the doctor" shuffle? Yeah!

But the flipside if that is that I never had to worry about whether or not my friends or anyone I may have wanted to date would have to be "approved" of by a committee, lead by my grandma. I didn’t have to worry about everything I did being photographed. All because of shit I couldn't control. I'm not going to go into any money stuff here.

So, now that all of that is out there, onto the book.

It's an interesting read. I don't know what I was expecting when I started it, but I was hoping it wouldn't be a gossip filled expose, I always feel sort of grimy when something I am reading takes that kind if turn. For the most part, I don't feel like this book is like that, what it is, is the memoir of a person born into an impossible family business, dealing with grief and expectations. It's a very human story.

I know that one of my friends expects this book to be nothing but Prince Harry bad mouthing all the other royals, and I figure that a least some other people might expecting the same thing. You don't really get that either. There is a fair amount of tension between the brothers, as they grew older. Not surprising considering royal succession added to the typical big brother little brother dynamic. There were serious disagreements and at least one fight, but I never got the feeling that the reader was suppose to walk away thinking that Prince William was a bad person. The same can be said about hhis father. Later in the book there are some unflattering things reveled about Charles and Camilla, but to me, it felt less like malicious gossip, and more like hurt resignation at the way his father reacted to certain things.

There is a lot of sweet remembering about Queen Elizabeth. It's clear that Prince Harry loves his family, and this book was not meant to be a club to swing at them. The real villains of royal life is the press. US tabloids are bad, paparazzi in any country is simply a gathering of worms, but the British press always struck me as more predatory and cruel on the whole. I mean yeah, Prince Harry did some epically stupid stuff. He addresses these things. He was dumb, uninformed, and he deeply regrets them, but the press won't let it go. Worse, they pursued him even into a war zone, risking the life of him and the people he served with, and for what? No good reason at all.

It's baffling that people would risk life and limb, theirs and others, for a story. It's not like they were looking for a hard hitting story, either, just gossip, this all sounds familiar, right?

Diana and the press looms large. Diana is a huge presence in this book, and understandably so. Prince Harry didn't process his mother's death until he was well into adulthood, and part of it was because the protocol of the royal family not showing emotion. Between the press and the rules and regulations of being royalty, what I kept thinking all while listening to this book was: They aren't allowed to be human. Then you add in the age old tradition of palace intrigue, with a modern twist (fewer daggers and poisonings, more newspapers) and each member of the family acting like an entity unto themselves, I can totally understand the decision to step back from royal duty.

Amid all of this very heavy subject matter, there are some very interesting stories where he was happy. His love of nature in general and Africa in particular lead to many loving descriptions of land, animals, and people.

As nasty as war is, his telling of his time in the military made it very clear he found what he was meant for when he joined the army. He doesn't sugar coat it, and he isn't gleeful about the horrors of war, but he found a place and work that he fit into. It is of little surprise that he chooses to fight for the people and animals of Africa, as well as the for wounded veterans.

And there are funny stories, in most of them, he us laughing at himself.

Guess I have to say something about Megan Markle. I honestly know very little about the Dutchess other than she's married to Prince Harry and she use to be an actress. She seems cool, It is clear that he is goofy in love and its nice to read about a happy loving relationship, after all the drama that surrounded his parents' marriage.

It's well written. The audiobook is read by Prince Harry, and he does a good job.

I'm glad I read it.

[longliverockback]

Van Halen The Collection [Box Set] 2023 Rhino ————————————————— Tracks LP One: Van Halen 01. Runnin’ with the Devil 02. Eruption 03. You Really Got Me 04. Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love 05. I’m the One 06. Jamie’s Cryin’ 07. Atomic Punk 08. Feel Your Love Tonight 09. Little Dreamer 10. Ice Cream Man 11. On Fire

Tracks LP Two: Van Halen II 01. You’re Not Good 02. Dance the Night Away 03. Somebody Get Me a Doctor 04. Bottoms Up! 05. Outta Love Again 06. Light up the Sky 07. Spanish Fly 08. D.O.A. 09. Women in Love 10. Beautiful Girls

Tracks LP Three: Women and Children First 01. And the Cradle Will Rock… 02. Everybody Wants Some!! 03. Fools 04. Romeo Delight 05. Tora! Tora! 06. Loss of Control 07. Take Your Whiskey Home 08. Could This Be Magic? 09. In a Simple Rhyme

Tracks LP Four: Fair Warning 01. Mean Street 02. “Dirty Movies” 03. Sinner Swing 04. Hear about It Later 05. Unchained 06. Push Comes to Shove 07. So This Is Love? 08. Sunday Afternoon in the Park 09. One Foot out the Door

Tracks LP Five: Diver Down 01. Where Have All the Good Times Gone 02. Hang ‘em High 03. Cathedral 04. Secrets 05. Intruder 06. Oh, Pretty Woman 07. Dancing in the Street 08. Little Guitars (Intro) 09. Little Guitars 10. Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now) 11. The Full Bug 12. Happy Trails

Tracks LP Six: MCMLXXXIV 1. 1984 2. Jump 3. Panama 4. Top Jimmy 5. Drop Dead Legs 6. Hot for the Teacher 7. I’ll Wait 8. Girl Gone Bad 9. House of Pain —————————————————

* Long Live Rock Archive

[mikeladano]

#1099: "Can you play it a little louder?" - An Uncle Paul Story, aka "Big Bad Bill Is Sweet William Now"

[rastronomicals]

12:42 PM EST December 24, 2023:

Van Halen - "Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)" From the album Diver Down (April 14, 1992)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: EP's presented as albums

[cerentari]

Big Bad Bill Is Sweet William Now - Ry Cooder

[faeriesofarcadia]

For van Halen yall be forgetting "big bad bill is sweet William now"

Bands + Song recs for Billy Hargrove (Part 1/?)

1. Van Halen - Unchained (1981) (Holy hell I love this song for him so much you don't understand lmao), Runnin' With The Devil (1978), And The Cradle Will Rock....(1980), D.O.A (1979), Atomic Punk (1978), Where Have All The Good Times Gone! (1982), Top Jimmy (1984)

2. Black Sabbath - Turn Up The Night (1981), Children of the Grave (1971), Never Say Die (1978), St. Vitus Dance (1972), The Mob Rules (1981), Hole in the Sky (1975) Fairies Wear Boots (1970), Lady Evil (1980), Paranoid (1970)

3. Judas Priest - Screaming For Vengeance (1982), Some Heads Are Gonna Roll (1984), Hell Bent For Leather (1978), Hot Rockin' (1981), Running Wild (1978), Living After Midnight (1980), The Hellion/Electric Eye (1982)

4. Dokken - Just got Lucky (1984), Breaking The Chains (1981), In My Dreams (1985), The Hunter (1985), Alone Again (1984), It's Not Love (1985), Into The Fire (1984)

5. Quiet Riot - Mama Weer All Crazee Now (1984), Bang Your Head (Metal Health) (1983), Cum On Feel The Noize (1983), Slick Black Cadillac (1978), Scream and Shout (1984)

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

Van Halen had more than their share of contradictions.

They began life as a party band but were also home to one of rock's most inventive musicians in guitarist Eddie Van Halen, who spent countless hours toiling in isolation perfecting both his craft and instruments. Their fun-loving music, videos, fashion sense and personalities served as the template for a generation of bands, yet they were also at the center of two of the nastiest breakups in rock history.

So, yeah, things could get weird around Van Halen sometimes. They had an unparalleled gift for blending hard-rock chops and pop smarts and a knack for staying creatively ahead of their peers. Bold and sometimes strange musical experimentation played a role in that success, as you'll note in the below chronological look at the 10 Weirdest Van Halen Songs.

"IN A SIMPLE RHYME/GROWTH" (1980 - WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST)

Van Halen's first two albums were comprised of songs written during their club-performance days. On 1980's Women and Children First, they took advantage of their chance to write new material, expanding their palette and exploring more complex arrangements. One of the clearest and most distinctive examples is the LP's closing track, "In a Simple Rhyme." It's a poppy, progressive and somewhat weird rock song that sounds like Rush attempting to write a romantic ballad. After the song's gentle fade-out comes another surprise: a 30-second instrumental featuring a brontosaurus-sized guitar riff. According to The Van Halen Encyclopedia, the plan was for "Growth" to be expanded into a full song that would kick off the band's next album. That didn't happen, but they would occasionally play the song at their concerts, including a 1986 version featuring both Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar on guitar.

"SUNDAY AFTERNOON IN THE PARK/ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR" (1981 - FAIR WARNING)

After sneakily replacing his guitar with an electric piano on Women and Children First's "And the Cradle Will Rock...," Eddie Van Halen dove deeper into synthesizers with the following year's Fair Warning, using an inexpensive Electro-Harmonix micro-synthesizer to come up with "Sunday Afternoon in the Park." It's a funky and creepy two-minute instrumental that sounds like George Clinton's idea of a John Carpenter film score. The tempo switches to a hyperactive electro-boogie for the conjoined "One Foot Out the Door," as David Lee Roth tries not to get caught with somebody else's wife. It's all topped with one of Van Halen's fiercest guitar solos, which fades out too quickly.

"BIG BAD BILL (IS SWEET WILLIAM NOW)" (1982 - DIVER DOWN)

One of the main sources of friction between David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen was over the latter's use of keyboards. Roth feared it would upset the band's fans, who wanted only to see Van Halen in "guitar god" mode. (As "Jump" and the band's string of keyboard-based '80s hits proved, Roth was wrong.) But it was Roth who suggested that Van Halen's father, Jan, play jazz clarinet on the band's cover of the 1924 Milton Anger and Jack Yellen song "Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)" on 1982's covers-heavy Diver Down. "He was nervous as shit," said Van Halen, recalling his dad at the recording session. "We're just telling him, 'Jan, just fuckin' have a good time. We make mistakes! That's what makes it real.' I love what he did."

"HOT FOR TEACHER" (1984 - 1984)

The final single of David Lee Roth's first tenure with Van Halen was the sorta weird "Hot for Teacher." How many hit songs can you think of that start with a 30-second drum solo, followed by an extended guitar solo? Roth doesn't appear until more than a minute into the song, speaking to his "classmates," rather than singing, as Eddie Van Halen suddenly shifts to chicken-pickin' rhythms. A traditional verse-and-chorus structure finally appears, but the band never stays in one place for long, blending speed-metal riffs with high school humor and a big Broadway-worthy chorus. It was all too perfect to last: Soon after the song's release, everything went to hell.

"INSIDE" (1986 - 5150)

"Man, what kind of crap is this?" That's the opening question Sammy Hagar asks on the closing track of his first album as Van Halen's new singer. After using the first eight songs on 5150 to establish the new lineup as a commercial and artistic force, Van Halen cracks open the fourth wall and directly if obliquely addresses the controversy that ensued after Hagar was hired to replace Roth. Over a thumping synth-rock groove, Hagar gets meta about what he's learned from his new bandmates: "Now me, look, I got this job not just being myself," he says. "I went out I brought some brand new shoes, now I walk like something else." He gets more serious as the song goes on, hitting some wild vocal heights while singing about feeling the need for "something special, someone new, some brand new group to sink my teeth into."

"MINE ALL MINE" (1988 - OU812)

After proving they could use keyboards to craft hit pop singles and ballads, Van Halen took a more serious step with the opening track of 1988's OU812. Clocking in at over five minutes, the complex "Mine All Mine" treads near jazz-fusion territory and showcases a new lyrical depth that almost drove Hagar past the breaking point. "It was the first time in my life I ever beat myself up, hurt myself, punished myself, practically threw things through windows, trying to write the lyrics," he told writer Martin Popoff in 2010.

"PLEASURE DOME" (1991 - FOR UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE)

For the most part, 1991's For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge marked a return to straightforward guitar rock for Van Halen. The hit single "Right Now" was the only song to feature keyboards; almost everything else follows a Standing Hampton-on-steroids formula. But the seven-minute "Pleasure Dome" takes a weird turn into progressive rock, with the Van Halen brothers and Michael Anthony daring each other to go deeper into King Crimson-style madness. Hagar's cosmically themed vocals are fine but seem almost beside the point. When the band performed the song live, it was usually instrumental.

"STRUNG OUT" (1995 - BALANCE)

Ever wanted to hear Eddie Van Halen destroy a piano? According to the Van Halen Encyclopedia, while renting composer Marvin Hamlisch's beach home in 1983, Van Halen "threw everything he could find into the piano and raked various items across the strings, including ping-pong balls, D-cell batteries and even silverware." Supposedly, there are hours of tapes documenting this, but Eddie Van Halen mercifully selected the best 90 seconds for inclusion on the band's final album with Hagar.

"CROSSING OVER" (1995 - BALANCE [JAPAN IMPORT])

Van Halen released only one non-album B-side, and it was a pretty strange one. In 1983 Eddie Van Halen composed "David's Tune," a tribute to a friend who died by suicide, handling all the instruments and vocals. After joining Van Halen in 1985, Sammy Hagar was eager to flesh out the track, but Van Halen kept "Crossing Over" in the vaults for nearly a decade, until the death of the band's manager, Ed Leffler. A full-band take was recorded and then blended with the guitarist's original version, which can be heard in the left channel of the released recording. The sonic effect is otherworldly, a perfect match for the song's subject matter.

"HOW MANY SAY I" (1998 - Van Halen III)

Van Halen III is the most criticized album of Van Halen's career, and much of the scorn is directed at the closing "How Many Say I," which features Eddie Van Halen on his only lead-vocal performance. The piano-based track is reminiscent of a late-era Roger Waters ballad and is an odd creative choice for the band, which was in the process of introducing its third singer, Gary Cherone. "They forced me," Van Halen told Billboard at the time. "Don't be shocked when you hear the vocal." "Maybe we were being too artsy-fartsy," Cherone later admitted to Rolling Stone. "But I thought it was great."