#Beyond the Wall :: Essays from the Outside

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

what a groovy night in Midtown Atlanta! (Parliament of Owls Lantern Parade!)— with Krewe of the Grateful Gluttons and Chantelle Rytter.

[Steve Eberhardt]

* * * *

"Beyond the wall of the unreal city, beyond the security fences topped with barbed wire and razor wire, beyond the asphalt belting of the superhighways, beyond the cemented banksides of temporarily stopped and mutilated rivers, beyond the rage of lies that poisons the air, there is another world waiting for you. It is the old true world of the deserts, the mountains, the forests, the islands, the shores, the open plains. Go there. Be there. Walk gently and quietly deep within it. And then -

May your trails be dim, lonesome, stony, narrow, winding and only slightly uphill. May the wind bring rain for the slickrock potholes fourteen miles on the other side of yonder blue ridge. May God's dog serenade your campfire, may the rattlesnake and the screech owl amuse your reverie, may the Great Sun dazzle your eyes by day and the Great Bear watch over you by night."

 - Edward Abbey Beyond the Wall: Essays from the Outside entheognosis

[thanks whiskey river]

[popponn]

a boyfriend package. [itoshi rin x reader]

summary: itoshi rin is good at soccer. itoshi rin is not good at jokes and cheering up, but for you, he tries anyway. (aka, you are stressed and rin is there.)

notes: this fic had so much thought but the main is "if you have itoshi rin on your side you could probably do anything". to everyone at uni and school, good luck. warning: other than minor curses, none. fluff, reader's gender unspecified, post canon au, reader is a student struggling against exams & essays.

“You are not done yet?”

You, a student who had probably resembled a zombie more at this point, lift your head up from the materials you were supposed to finish within two days. There were certainly other problems you were facing, however, you had no strength to gaze at them at the moment. Instead, you landed your eyes on your boyfriend, leaning against the doorway of your room with two cups of store-bought coffee. Which was hilarious—Itoshi Rin, a solid football career, an aloof reputation which was very true, and no educational deadline because of said football career.

Wait—does Itoshi Rin even drink coffee?

Your brain couldn’t really remember that piece of information.

It could curse out your very lovely and handsome Rin out of envy though. You wished him a very slow internet connection until your freedom next week.

Hearing how the voices in your head had started complete nonsense, you shook your head and returned your focus back to the wall of letters that didn’t seem to have an end in front of you. It would be better for you to save your words and thoughts for this seemingly unending hurdle, instead of using it to say things about the very kind Rin who bought you coffee.

Though, you did remember what one of his friends posted on Finestagram yesterday. A picture of a bunch of guys having fun outside. A hand around his shoulder in an act of friendliness and a very clear time that was spent pleasantly. Without pressure too, on top of that. Fuck—you tried not to cry—you are so jealous of them.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Oh, right.

You forgot to reply to him.

“Not yet,” you smiled bitterly, “there are still some more left.”

Which was an understatement. Around two thick piles of papers awaited you.

As it was, Rin didn’t even bat an eyelash at your response nor to the faraway look you gave to the tower of books on your desk. He, however, did put a cup of coffee right beside your left hand. On that cup, a smiling mascot with a peanut shape said something about enjoying your time. You didn’t know if the correct choice to that was to bawl or to laugh like a madman.

You were half-asleep after eight hours of cramming and your brain felt like it was burning. In the end, even a tear or a chuckle was a bit beyond your capability at this point.

“…hey,” Rin said again, flatly. A hand awkwardly placed itself on one of your shoulders.

“You sure say a lot of ‘hey’ today,” you noted, leaning your head, slotting it on his stomach. His muscles were hard, but the proximity did comfort you. “…what is it though?”

“…if I drive, and you say ‘stop, deer’,” Rin began awkwardly, out of nowhere with a voice that trembled slightly as if he was under an incredible weight, “I will say ‘yes honey’.”

You stopped breathing at what he just said. No matter how scattered your brain was, you immediately snapped him a bewildered look. You knew you were on the verge of insanity, but Rin—

“What.”

You had been dating him for two years and more and Rin—as much as you love him—is definitely not a joke guy. Did he got possessed? Was it because he drank coffee?

As you ransacked your brain for an answer, you watched an explosion of red on Rin’s face reaching his neck. As that hue stayed on his face, unbudging, Rin’s face turned sour and darkened as he muttered some violating insults that seemed to be directed at Bachira and Otoya.

You raised an eyebrow at that. “Rin. What? Huh?” you repeated, trying to grasp the situation. “Who put you into this?”

You knew you were risking your study in what could end up being a prologue to two murder cases, but that joke was bad enough that it restarted your brain. You would risk a 4-hour delay because honestly what could make Itoshi Rin joke—

Oh.

As the silence between Rin and you stretched, you realized how he seemed to lose the courage to see you in the eye. A red face that was as bashful as it looked like a face belonging to a terrible stomachache patient, yet the comforting pressure Rin gave to your shoulder as he rubbed his thumb—suddenly, it was as clear as day.

This fine dumbass of yours was trying to cheer you up, it seemed.

You laughed out loud at that—perhaps a bit too high-pitched with too much wheezing. However, imagining Rin taking a page from his friends’ books—fuck you hate those words so much still right now but yet—just to cheer you up, it is adorable. And, Rin seemed to accept your ugly chortles as his eyes finally moved to you again.

“Did—” you wheezed again, your whole body still shaking as you pressed your chin to his hip. The smell of Rin’s detergent was your preferred fragrance, widening your smile even more, “—did Bachira and Otoya put you into this? Is that why you cussed them out?”

“Don’t come up with your own conclusion,” Rin scolded with a tone that spelled out relief and fondness.

“Then, what is it? Tell me—you just made a joke. A pun. That’s something,” you teased. In the back of your mind, a heavy static was still present, yet you really couldn’t mind their presence with Rin beside you like this.

Rin grunted and messed up your head, looking down at you with a look that was certainly too soft for his cold & cool guy brand. “Shut up. That’s none of your business.”

“Aw, come on! Tell me!” you protested. Rin shook you off as you started to try and pull his cheeks with your grubby hands. Walking away, he pulled a stool that he had left behind in your room after his tenth visit to your house many months ago.

“No,” Rin said curtly, leaving no room for protest as he tapped your laptop screen lightly. “Now get back to studying.”

At the reminder, it was your turn to wear a sour glum on your face. “Ugh.”

He glared half-heartedly at you. Bumping a knee against your chair slightly. “Don’t fucking say ‘ugh’.”

“But…” you wanted to say that you still wanted to tease him a bit more. You wanted to just do something with him a bit longer. Returning to the passage of curses meant that you couldn’t do that.

Rin looked at you for a moment. You couldn’t fathom what went through in his mind as you glanced at him. However, whatever it was, it pushed Rin to get his face closer to you.

Then, before you could even react to it, Rin pressed a light kiss on top of your forehead.

It was soundless in the way it was surprising. Your eyes were wide as Rin pulled away and returned to his previous position. This time, the red hue and his inability to look you in the eye returned. Looking towards anywhere but you, Rin perched his chin on top of his palm.

“Hurry up and study,” Rin ordered once again. “I will accompany you today, so stop whining.”

There was a prime chance for you to tease him about not practicing instead. Yet, for a solid 30 seconds, all your brain had become was a mush and an incoherent noise. Rin probably should take some responsibility and you should demand so—

Yet, you could only smile and return to your study. Hooking your ankle with one of Rin’s just so you could feel him close still.

“You owe me a kiss and a treat after this.”

“I bought you coffee already.”

“Oh, Rin—come on, I need motivation—”

“Fucking finish it first.”

Afterward, you pulled out a miracle by finishing everything within 3 hours and the rest was history.

[moonsandmobilityaids]

First Kisses

Pairings: poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: Your first kiss with each boy Warnings: N/A Series Masterlist

Sirius has never been one to shy away from a challenge, and tonight is no exception. The common room of the Gryffindor tower is nearly empty, save for a few stragglers who linger, unwilling to give in to the pull of sleep just yet. You're settled near the fireplace, the warmth seeping into your bones as you sit in your wheelchair with a book.

Across from you, Sirius lounges on the couch, a similar book discarded beside him, its spine untouched by eager hands. He's watching you instead, his gaze intense yet soft, like the glow of the fire that dances in his grey eyes. The distance between you seems to shrink under the weight of his attention, and when he leans forward, his hand covering yours where it rests on the arm of your chair, the world outside ceases to exist.

"Y'know," he says, his voice low and laced with a familiar charm, "you're far more interesting than any book."

A soft laughter spills from your lips as you close the novel, placing it aside. You gently nudge him with your elbow, a playful rebuke in your eyes. "And you, Sirius Black, are incredibly distracting."

His grin widens, unapologetic and utterly charming. His gaze dips momentarily to your lips, a flicker of hesitation crossing his features. It's unlike Sirius to second-guess, to pause in the face of potential rejection. But then again, this is different. This is you.

Slowly, as if not to startle you, his hand reaches out. The rough pads of his fingers glide along your jawline, tilting your chin up ever so slightly. For a moment, his expression softens, eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort. It's subtle, almost imperceptible—the unspoken offer for you to pull away now.

But you don't.

Instead, you lean into his touch, closing the distance between the two of you until there's nothing left but the shared anticipation of a kiss. And when it comes, it's as if time itself holds its breath—the world outside falling away to leave only the warmth of Sirius' lips against yours. The kiss is tentative at first, a careful exploration born from the uncertainty of new beginnings. But then Sirius deepens it, his hand moving to cradle the back of your neck, drawing you closer with a hunger that mirrors your own.

It's everything you'd expect from him—passionate, intense, a fire that threatens to consume—but there's an underlying tenderness in each brush of his lips against yours, a silent promise that speaks louder than words ever could.

When you finally part, both breathless and flushed, Sirius grins at you, his grey eyes alight with mischief and something deeper. "You're right," he says, his voice husky. "I am distracting."

You chuckle, feeling the residual heat of his kiss lingering on your own lips. "You're impossible, Black."

"Impossible to resist, you mean," he retorts, leaning in for another taste of your lips, and this time, you do not shy away.

****

The library is quiet save for the soft crackle of the fire, its warmth a gentle caress against the chill that lingers outside the castle walls. Remus sits beside you, his face illuminated by the flicker of candlelight as he pores over the parchment in front of him—a potions essay he promised to help you with. His attention is divided between the lines of text and your presence, his eyes flicking up occasionally, always drawn back to you.

His hand brushes against yours now and then, a touch that should be accidental, but feels anything but. It's not like Remus to be so... distracted. He's always been steady, reliable—a pillar amidst the chaos that often surrounds life at Hogwarts. But tonight, there's a tension in the air, a silence filled with unspoken words since the confession a few nights ago.

He's been careful around you since then, as if walking on eggshells, afraid of crossing an invisible line. But Remus doesn't know—you're already well aware of what lies beyond that boundary. And it doesn't scare you. Not anymore.

When he looks up from the paper, his golden-brown eyes meet yours, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. No words are needed to decipher the thoughts behind those depths. You can feel them, tangible as the parchment beneath your fingers, reflected in the slight squeeze of his hand around yours.

"Are you sure?" His voice is barely above a whisper, the words hanging heavy in the air.

You nod, heart pounding a staccato rhythm against your ribs. "Yes."

His approach is slow, almost hesitant, allowing you every opportunity to pull away. But you don't. Instead, you lift your chin, an unspoken invitation hanging in the air between you. Your breath hitches as his lips finally meet yours, a soft brush of skin against skin that sends warmth radiating through your body.

The kiss is gentle, just like everything else about Remus—careful and measured, yet full of an intensity that leaves you breathless. It's a slow exploration, a dance of lips and emotion, communicating what words have dared not say. His hand cradles your cheek, thumb tracing small circles against your skin, grounding you in this moment of shared vulnerability.

There's no urgency, no rough demand for more. Just the mingling of breaths, the quiet hum of connection that deepens with each passing second. When at last you part, it's only by a fraction, both unwilling to sever this newfound intimacy completely. Remus's eyes find yours, a soft smile playing on his lips—a silent promise that this, whatever it may be, has only just begun.

"You're incredible," Remus murmurs, the words laced with an awe that suggests he's still grappling with the reality of your existence.

Your smile deepens, not out of pride but from a wellspring of affection that refuses to be contained. "So are you, Remus."

****

James is usually the vibrant heart of any room, drawing you into last-minute plans, showering you with compliments that make your cheeks flush. But tonight, he's different—quiet, intense—as if the world has narrowed to this singular moment between the two of you.

You're cocooned in one of his oversized Gryffindor scarves, the wool slightly itchy against your neck. James sits beside you, his fingers grazing the armrest of your chair as if he longs to reach out but can't quite bridge the distance. The castle looms behind you, its warm glow spilling out into the night, yet here on the outskirts, it's as if you and James exist in a universe all your own, painted with shadows and starlight.

James has been stealing glances at you throughout the evening, his fingers playing absentmindedly with the hem of his shirt—a telltale sign of nervous energy. The air is thick with unspoken words, and you can feel the anticipation humming through your veins like a second heartbeat. For once, James Potter seems unsure of what to say, and the silence stretches between you, taut as a bowstring.

You finally turn to him, an arch lifting your brow in silent question. "What's on your mind, James?"

His smile wavers, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his usual confidence. He runs a hand through his windswept hair, the action only adding to its tousled charm. "Just... how lucky I am."

The statement is so unexpected you can't help but chuckle, the sound soft and low in the quiet room. "You say that like it's some grand revelation."

"Perhaps it feels that way." His gaze lingers on yours, the intensity of his green eyes never wavering. "Not because I didn't know it before, but because... it seems different now. More significant."

His hand moves from the arm of your wheelchair to your forearm, thumb tracing circles on the fabric of your shirt. The gesture is tentative, yet there's a certainty in his eyes that anchors you. He leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away if you want to. But you don't.

The kiss is warm, like everything about James—from his sunny demeanour to his passionate speeches about Quidditch and magical creatures. His lips move against yours with the same fervor he puts into every endeavor, his hand cupping the side of your face as he deepens the kiss. It's not rushed, but there's an energy to it that mirrors the beat of your heart—a rhythm fuelled by joy and the thrill of something new and exciting unfolding.

When you finally pull back, you're both grinning, slightly out of breath, and you can't help but chuckle at the look of pure delight on his face.

"See? I told you I was lucky," James says, his voice raspy from the kiss.

You roll your eyes playfully, though your heart is pounding in your chest. "Perhaps I'm the one who's lucky."

His fingers trace your jawline as he winks at you, a hint of mischief playing in his eyes. "Well then, let's just agree we're both rather fortunate, shall we?"

[classpecting-the-hoyoverse]

Veritas Ratio: The Rogue of Light

Rogue: The passive stealing class

One who steals aspect for others

Alternatively, one who shares or one who redistributes aspect with others

Light

Abstract: Knowledge, Awareness, Attention, Relevance, Fortune, Luck

Literal: Actual Light (Brightness), Vision, Eyes, the Sun, Stars

This is gonna become a series isn't it?

It is. Now let's get going on discussing everyone's favorite interstellar scholar: Dr. Veritas Ratio!!

Let's get the obvious out of the way: His aspect.

Light is more commonly known as the aspect of knowledge. But instead of talking about he’s light-bound personality wise, why don’t we shake things up a bit? We know that he's a smart and knowledgeable man, but what more can his aspect offer for us aside from that?

To fit with Ratio's Greco-Roman theming, I'll briefly discuss the World of Ideas in Plato's allegory of the Cave.

Forgive me to if I do get the allegory wrong and please feel free to correct me!

The gist of this is that ordinary people are like prisoners chained to a cave, only able to perceive reality through shadow puppets and the distorted noises that bounce off the cave walls. These prisoners were born in the cave and had been raised in the cave, not knowing anything else outside of it; ignorance. It's only when they break out of their chains do these prisoners start their path to enlightenment and they achieve it so once they see the bright sun outside of their cave; the World of Ideas.

Ratio seeks to break everyone from the chains of ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment through spreading his knowledge throughout the universe.

Ratio is the man who would forcefully break the prisoners' chains and nudge them towards the light, as much as he could anyways.

And for one specific character, he hopes it is enough.

We'll get back to him later! Next I want to talk about is Ratio and his connection to Christian Gnosticism, which likely had served as inspiration for the concept of the Light aspect in Homestuck. I will be borrowing ideas from one of optimisticDualist's essays so I highly recommend giving it a quick read before continuing onward.

According to Gnostic myth, the world was created through the desires of an aeon named Sophia, an Emanator of light. I should also note that the Greek word for wisdom is Σοφία.

Sophia longed to understand God in His entirety, but in doing so she committed treason and was thus cast out of heaven. Her desire gave birth to Yaldabaoth: a blind, violent, and ignorant god who knew nothing but himself. He created the material world that you and I perceive, shielded from the light of Sophia that birthed him. Because a blind god made the world in his image, the denizens of his earth are also blind to Sophia.

So what do banished gods have to do with the purple guy?

Well, just like Archimedes and screws, things come back around. In order to save yourself from Yaldabaoth’s world, one must be delivered a certain knowledge that is delivered by a “messenger of light” and thus gain the ability to perceive Sophia and her World of Ideas.

In other words, salvation can be sought in what Gnosticism calls a gnosis.

However, one cannot just simply be gifted a gnosis. Those who seek Sophia’s salvation must be driven to reach it, reach beyond the Demiurge’s dark and imprisoning world and into the intangible, bright world above.

Doesn’t that sound familiar?

By Gnostic definition, Ratio should be an Emanator of wisdom, helping curing others of ignorance and helping them on their way towards enlightenment. Hell, you can even say that he's a sylph with all the constant allusions to healing and helping, especially since that Ratio's a Doctor.

However, we all know that this isn't true. Within Ratio's character stories, it can be inferred that his one goal in life is to become an Emanator of the Erudition. His arduous pursuit of knowledge was likely all in hopes in attracting Nous' gaze.

Yet, despite all his efforts, Ratio was never spared a glance

Dr. Ratio is a model Emanator of wisdom by Gnostic standards, yet within his own universe his Aeon of Erudition does not acknowledge him. No matter how hard he tries, he will never reach the status of a member of the Genius society, almost as if he wasn't destined to be a part of it.

Let’s talk about his class: The rogue.

Rogues in Homestuck are the outcasts of their societies. They're loners, isolated, unable to fit in with the groups they want to identify in.

Rogue of Heart Nepeta Leijon lives alone in Alternia's wilderness far from troll society with her lusus as her only companion that is physically close to her.

She's been explicitly described as lonely, creating comics and ships of herself and her friends in order to mitigate her feelings of isolation from other trolls:

Then there's Rogue of Void Roxy Lalonde, who for her first 16 years of life was the only human within her town of carapaces, whom she provides food for. The only other human in her post-apocalyptic world is more than 1700 miles away.

Being a Void-Bound, her isolation is very much apparent, but her loneliness reaches its apex during her bad end in her Pesterquest route. Drinking herself to a stupor as the undeserving consequences of seeing her mother just once consumes her.

And then Rogue of Breath Rufioh Nitram, who was seen as a mutant for his wings and thus was avoided by his fellow trolls, which took a blow on his self-esteem.

Rogues also struggle with a surplus of their aspect and trying to cope up with that extra while it consumes them. Nepeta taking on the personas of other people through roleplaying, as well as her cave walls being covered in shipping grids. Rufioh living a literally directionless grubhood as travels with a nomadic group called the Lost Weaboos, not to mention his wings, a symbol of freedom, being the cause of why he views himself so lowly. And then there's Roxy, who feels so alone in the carapacian bastion that she fills that void with insobriety, befuddling her mind.

So what does this have to say about Dr. Ratio? All three rogues here have exhibited some type of self-worth issues and a desire to connect with others, but due to being so engulfed by their aspect, it hinders them from reaching that goal...

What if tiny Ratio exhibited such intellect at such a young age that throughout his childhood, he was told that he would be a great scholar growing up? Maybe his genius would earn him a spot within the Genius Society. He was even admitted into a university during his adolescent years.

As that is impressive as that sounds, can you imagine how isolating that can be for a child? Ratio, the only kid in class with his classmates years above him, talking about things outside of academia that he's too young to understand. Meanwhile Ratio likely doesn't interact with those his age as they couldn't provide anything to stimulate his brain. It could also be vice-versa too: Ratio trying to talk to them about topics far beyond their comprehension and they just start to distance themselves from him, unable to understand him, making an outcast out of him.

His intelligence and genius isolates him from making any genuine friendships during his formal years of life. At least, any that we know of before 2.1.

This loneliness does seem to follow him well into his adulthood as well: Becoming a celebrity comes with its own flavor of isolation: being surrounded by the limelight yet no one will truly understand you.

And let's not forget about his ambitions to become an Emanator of the Erudition, to become a member of the Genius Society, which he fell short of...

...something that he holds quite close to his chest, a betrayal of his self-perceived character. He became yet, once again, an outcast.

Another thing, I want you guys to got to Ratio's wiki real quick and see how many characters mention him.

How many people do you think were close to Ratio?

Within the team selection menu of Star Rail, Ratio has lines for when he's added to a team with Ruan Mei and Herta, yet the reverse isn't true. Both Genius scholars say nothing when added to a team with Ratio already in it, almost as if they don't acknowledge him.

There is, however, only one character who says something when added to a team with the Mundanite already in it.

Can you guess who it is?

But, as for all classes, their lives aren't meant to be miserable forever. A Rogue must find a way to overcome this loneliness; piecing through the walls of their confines made of their aspect. Instead of just keeping all their aspect for themselves like their Thief counterpart, Rogues find fulfillment through sharing their aspect, often by taking it from one source and distributing it to others. Or in some cases, exchanging something else in order to hand out.

And after all this, I dare say that Ratio joining the Genius Society would be the worst mistake he'd ever make. Stay with me, I have my reasons:

Though we never got to see much of Nepeta in action, we know that she distributes Heart through her shipping chart, arranging couples, distributing aspects of their personalities to see who would go together the best.

The amount of thought that she puts into her ships puts a Sylph of the same aspect like me to shame!

I digress.

In exchange of bringing attention to the Watterbitch that's about to destroy their game, Roxy was able to obscure the progression of her session from prying eyes, covering it in a blanket of blankness in order to keep Batterwitch from knowing what they're up to.

And then for Rufioh, his Alternian counterpart The Summoner lead a rebellion against the Condecse, using his wings to guide his fellow trolls towards freedom.

And even after his defeat, his tale lives on as Pupa Pan. While the tale of his rebellious predecessor the Signless is silenced and therefore lost to obscurity, the Summoner's story lives on, allowing the idea of freedom to flow into the mind of young trolls.

Dr. Ratio's entire character is dedicated to making education accessible for all. Though some of this does end up into his desire to cure people of idiocy, Ratio does truly believe that everyone should get a chance to attain knowledge. I'd even say that his ambition is the reason why he became a professor!

Ratio would dedicate his life towards his goal towards sharing knowledge, even if it meant forsaking Nous' attention in exchange.

His path also affirms this drive. One would expect that someone as knowledgeable as him would be following the path of Erudition, but instead Ratio follows the Hunt.

Ratio's determination to educate, his determination to spread light across the universe manifested into the path he follows. Even if he's never accepted by the Genius Society, he won't let that hinder him or dampen his drive. Ratio just simply strides forward.

The people who make up Nous' faction are described as researchers that rarely interact with each other, and even rarer are the people who are willing to share their research. Ratio would have never found fulfillment in being a member of the Genius Society, I'm almost certain that by joining it he would just be seeking out more and more knowledge, more and more light, becoming more and more isolated.

And one more thing: Rogues are fond of those who manage to get close to them. They appreciate their company and are incredibly dear to them.

For Nepeta, she has Equius.

For Roxy, she has Calliope.

Rufioh had Damara and the Summoner had the Marquise.

So who does Ratio have?

Even outside of a shipping lens, Aventurine is a very important person to Ratio. The 2.1 Penacony story quest demonstrated how much in tandem these two can be together; how much they trusted each other to pull off this huge gamble and draw attention to the death happening in the Planet of Dreams and Festivites. Luck and Knowledge, they both work in perfect harmony.

Aventurine calls him his equal during his episode in “Keeping Up with Star Rail”, claiming that Ratio’s the only one who can understand him.

Ratio and Aventurine must have something closer than just mutual respect however. Before Aventurine goes off into his grandiose self-annihilation, he checks up on him. He risks breaking their façade of disgruntled-coworkers-at-best just to make sure Aventurine can continue on.

Ratio does care for the Stoneheart. So much so that he imparts luck to quite literally the luckiest man alive in hopes that his advice will carry him out of the darkness that he’s in and back into the light. Bringing him out of the blinding Nihility and back into the World of Ideas, back into reality.

And it makes this note all the more important when Aventurine accepts Ratio’s advice, accepting his light when most would brush it off.

Ratio is a bright person, yet most cannot see past his luminosity and at the same time, he can’t shine bright enough to attract those he aspires to be. To remedy this, the Rogue of Light distributes his lights to others who needs it. He wants to cure those inflicted with ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment.

Knowledge for knowledge’s sake is not his Ratio rolls. His altruism may go against what the Genius Society believes in, but he wouldn’t change his ideals for anyone, steadfast in his determination to cure idiocy.

[steddieasitgoes]

written for @eddiemonth Day 16 Prompt: Library & Curious a/n: This one might be my favorite one I've written yet! It's set at the start of season 2! read on ao3 | link to my ao3 Edde Month series

Eddie’s well aware there are a lot of stupid classes that Hawkins High requires its student body to take. Algebra (there’s no reason for the alphabet and numbers to mix, except in very rare cases, like D20 type cases), Physics (what more do they need to know beyond what goes up, must come down), French (as if anyone from Bumfuck, Indiana could afford to go to France — okay maybe some can, but Eddie’s certainly not one of them that’s for damn sure), goddamn Physical Education (only way he’s running is if someone is chasing him, thank you very much). But the stupidest class of all has to be Study Hall.

An entire class dedicated to doing work for other classes? What kind of idiot dreamed this one up? Instead of letting them out an hour early, some guy, probably in a suit because all bad ideas come from guys in suits, decided to hold them hostage to do more work. It’s ridiculous. Not to mention, it’s one of the few times, outside of lunch, that the grades get to mingle with each other. Sure, lots of studying goes on in between freshmen drooling over seniors and sophomores paying juniors for last year’s test answers.

The only time Eddie actually liked study hall was during his sophomore year when he had it first period and could do all the homework he neglected to do the night before. It’s the only time it actually made sense. And the only time, thus far in his high school career, that Eddie actually turned in more assignments than not.

But now, he’s a senior stuck with study hall as his last class of the day, and he wants to die. Okay, maybe not die die. But die in the sense that he’d rather risk bodily harm escaping the hellscape that is the Hawkins library during 6th-period study hall than sit here. His freedom is so close — nothing but a few windows and a brick wall separating him from the brisk late-October air. Eddie can’t risk it, though. He’s already reached his detention quote for the semester, and if he wants to keep using the drama room for Hellfire meetings, he has to sit in this damn library seat and at least pretend to get some work done.

Which, honestly, isn’t the worst thing in the world. At least it gives him time to work on his latest Hellfire campaign without the prying eyes of Jeff and Gareth or the unnecessary questions from Freak. Sure, he’s supposed to be working on an essay for English Lit, but he doesn’t think Ms. Washington is going to appreciate his take on Frankenstein, so he’ll worry about coming up with a dumbed-down idea another day.

Besides, even focusing on his new campaign is hard enough with the idle chatter going on that the librarian is either pretending not to hear or is too tired of shushing them for.

It’s the usual sort of study hall gossip. Who’s screwing who. What teacher is going to pull a pop quiz tomorrow and become the biggest asshole at Hawkins High. The occasional nervous whispers of the geeks actually studying.

It’s all mindless chatter that drifts into the background when the topic of Tina’s Halloween Bash comes up. That’s the real gossip of the night. Who got the keg, and what other alcohol is being provided? Who is going to be the best dressed? What couple is going to get caught screwing in Tina’s parent’s bed? Are there going to be any good fights or breakups?

Eddie rolls his eyes. Jesus H. Christ, can’t anybody be original around here?

Unfortunately for Eddie, there’s no escaping Tina’s Halloween Bash since he’s been summoned to provide some extra party favors, as the “cool” kids like to call them. Eddie, never one to back down from being a thorn in a “cool” kid’s side, always responds with the same spiel: “Drugs. What you want is drugs, right? Or should I go raid Melvald’s for you?”

Whatever. Money is money, and Eddie can take all the money he can get his grubby hands on if he wants to get out of this shit-hole town when he graduates in June.

Glancing at his watch, he tips his head back in a silent groan of annoyance. Only ten minutes have passed since he slunk into the uncomfortable library seat. Christ, why does time move so slow, sometimes? Eddie tries to focus on his Hellfire notes in front of him, and he’s successful for all of thirty seconds before something catches his attention in the corner of his eye.

Nancy Wheeler and the former Hawkins High King, Steve Harrington, are whispering to each other by the pencil sharpener. He rolls his eyes. Of course, no one else in the library is paying them any mind. And why would they? Harrington fell from grace last year, and Wheeler isn’t exactly the “look at me” type. Still, Eddie finds them morbidly interesting in a way he finds all the tragic heterosexual couples in this stupid small town interesting.

Before Eddie has a chance to fall deeper into his cynical outlook on this stupid Hawkins High couple, Wheeler starts tugging Harrington toward the private study room in the back of the library. It’s a move that shocks Eddie to his core. Don’t get him wrong, he’s heard all bout Harrington’s little trysts in that very room over the years (thank you gossip mill for the very cheap porn), but he never would have assumed Wheeler would be the one tugging him toward it.

It’s that detour from who she’s supposed to be that has Eddie peeling himself off his chair.  At least, that’s what he tells himself as he saunters toward the stack of books in the back of the library closest to the private room. If he hears moaning or anything remotely sounding like they’re hooking up, he promises himself he’ll leave. He’s a freak in many ways, but a creep, he is not.

Glancing over his shoulder, Eddie can see the two of them in the small room. They’re close but not close enough to be doing anything beyond talking. From the look on her face, doing anything of that sort isn’t even on her mind.

Interesting.

Eddie creeps closer.

“Barbara. It’s like nobody cares. Except her parents. And now they’re selling their house.”

“Nance—“

Wheeler rants about something, but he misses most of it. Only catching the very end.

“It’s destroying them.”

No shit, Eddie thinks with another dramatic eye roll. Of course, losing their only daughter is destroying them. The Hollands are one of the few families around here that actually have a heart. At least they did before Barbara tore it from them by running away. Or so the story goes. Eddie’s always been a bit suspicious of Holland’s disappearance. He knows the runaway type, and a straight-A girl, with a well-off family who loves them like Holland had doesn’t fit the bill.

“I know. Okay? I get it,” Harrington says, glancing away from Wheeler to peer out the window. Eddie grabs the first book on the shelf and buries his face in it. It must fool Steve because he starts talking again. “But listen, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Yeah, we could tell them the truth.”

“This isn’t some game, Nance. If they found out that we told any…” He trails off again, and Eddie reaches for another book.

Eyes peering over the pages, Eddie watches as he shuts the blinds before presumably returning to Wheeler. With the blinds shut and their voices even lower, he can no longer hear what they’re talking about. Which is a damn shame because Eddie’s never been more curious about what the disgraced King was about to say than right now. 

+ + +

“M’telling you guys. It was weird,” Eddie says through a mouthful of Doritos.

They’re hanging out in Gareth’s garage. Jeff sits in the old recliner while Gareth stays perched behind his drum kit. Freak is running late, as usual, though Eddie’s not too pressed about it today. Too distracted filling the boys in on what he overheard in the library.

“I don’t know man; it sounds like she was just concerned about her best friend,” Gareth says, lightly tapping his drumsticks on his snare.

“Yeah, those two were inseparable, remember.”

“All the more reason why it’s weird she’s been mopping around lately. Obviously, she knows where Holland is. Or what happened to her.”

“Not this again,” Jeff groans, sinking further into the recliner.

“Yes, this again,” Eddie retorts, throwing Jeff an intense glare. “This town is weird as shit. If the Byers kid can come back from the dead—“

“I thought they proved it wasn’t actually Byers they found in the quarry,” The Freak says, finally joining them in the garage. 

“They did, but Eddie still thinks—“

“Shut up!” Eddie shouts, taking a moment to throw a Dorito at all of their heads. “Let me level with you for a second, okay? Yeah, sure, they said that kid wasn’t Byers, but they never said whose kid it was, which is weird. And then right after that, they “find” Holland’s car? It’s too coincidental, man. You know a story isn’t right when it’s too easy.”

“This isn’t one of our campaigns,” Gareth sighs. “Sometimes things really are just accidental coincidences.”

Eddie shakes his head, running his Dorito-stained fingers over his face. “Nah, man, m’not buying it this time. Harrington and Wheeler know what really happened to Holland. And I think they’re responsible for it.”

“So, what?” Jeff asks, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees. “You think they made her disappear or something.”

“Maybe Harrington got Holland knocked up, and his family gave her money to leave.”

“See!” Eddie shouts, slapping his hands together as he jumps on the balls of his feet. “Freak gets it! That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

“Okay, but if Harrington knocked Wheeler’s best friend up, why would she still be dating him?” Jeff asks.

“And why would they both be hiding her from her parents?” Gareth adds.

Okay, so maybe these are valid questions, but Eddie doesn’t appreciate the doubts they’re throwing at him. “I don’t appreciate you doubting me,” he says plainly. “You’ll see. M’gonna figure this out.”

“Right, just like you figured out that Ms. O’Donnell was actually failing you for a reason and not because she had some vendetta against Wayne for not dating her.”

“Hey. That was a good theory, okay. One I still think is true, by the way.” Turning his back on the boys, Eddie crosses the room and tosses the empty bag of Doritos into the trash bin before heading towards his badly parked van.

“I thought we were practicing!” Gareth shouts after him.

“Just let him go,” Jeff sighs. “He’s impossible to work with when he’s in conspiracy theory mode.”

Eddie flips Jeff off, climbing into the van. “I’ll see you boys tomorrow.”

+ + +

Eddie’s been at Tina’s party for an entire hour and a half, and there’s still no sign of Harrington or Wheeler. Not that he’s actively searching them out, of course. He’s just had some downtime in between upselling Hagan for the world’s shittiest pot he could get his hands on, and explaining to some cheerleader how Special K hits differently if you snort it. Plus, his supply ran out about ten minutes ago, so he’s just buying time before someone notices him lingering and kicks his ass to the curb.

He’s about to save himself and whatever jock gets thrown his way the trouble, when he spots Harrington and Wheeler arguing by the punch bowl. He’s too far away to hear what they’re saying, but he has a sneaking suspicion it has less to do with the conversation he heard in the library and more to do with Wheeler’s drunken state. Case in point: the red liquid she just spilled all over her blouse.

Chasing after her, Harrington cuts through the crowd and makes his way toward one of the bathrooms. Eddie waits a minute before following them down the crowded hallway. Thankfully, no one is in line for this bathroom — still too early in the night for the alcohol to have hit their bladders — so he’s first in the unofficial bathroom line. Leaning casually against the wall, Eddie angles his ear closer to the door so he can hear inside.

It takes a minute for his ears to tune out the music and nonsense chatter, but when they do, he can clearly hear Wheeler slurring her words.

“You’re pretending like everything’s okay. You know, like we didn’t… like we didn’t kill Barb.”

Eddie’s never experienced shock before, at least, he doesn’t think he has; the early days of his life are a little hazy around the edges, but that’s the only word he thinks fits what he’s experiencing right now. Part of him wants to shove his ear closer to the door to continue listing, while the other part of him wants to run for the hills, screaming in victory. And if he’s straight with himself, maybe screaming in fear a little, too. Harrington and Wheeler murderers? Who knew?

He knew, that’s who!

He knew there was something shady going on between those two.

Pressing his ear closer, he can hear Wheeler slurring more words, though he’s not exactly sure what she’s saying. Honestly, he doesn’t really care what she’s saying. He’s listening for Harrington’s response right now. What does the mighty King have to say about the bomb she’s just dropped?

“This is bullshit,” she slurs.

“Like we’re in love?” Steve asks.

Huh, clearly, Eddie missed a step or two in his shocked state.  He’s not exactly sure how the conversation strayed from them killing Holland to their, clearly, toxic relationship, but the fact it did is all the proof Eddie needs. If they didn’t kill her, Harrington would have been vehemently denying her claim. And yet, he sounds like a kicked puppy dog right now because she doesn’t love him.

Join the club, Harrington.

The doorknob starts to jiggle, and Eddie bolts. It’s not that he’s afraid about coming face-to-face with the two who apparently killed Holland. It’s just that, well, he needs a minute to think about the information he’s just learned.

+ + +

With Gareth and Freak both busy supervising their siblings around Hawkins and Jeff on candy duty for his family’s house, Eddie has no one to share the good bad news with. RIP Holland and all that, but he’s sitting on some serious dirt right now.

The good part of Eddie’s brain knows he should head straight for the police station. Pull good ole’ Chief Hopper aside and gloat about how he did his job for him. But Eddie’s spent enough time at the stuffy station to know no one is going to believe him especially not against Harrington and Wheeler. He’d have better luck marching in there and turning himself in for her murder. Not that he’s going to do that.

He supposes he could tell Wayne about it, but he doesn’t need to be dragging his uncle into any more of his messes. And since Eddie has no proof beyond overhearing a drunken confession, a mess it’ll surely turn into.

So, he opts for the third option and heads out to Skull Rock to do some thinking.

Maybe Freak is right, and it was some sort of jealous rage brought on by a Holland-Harrington pregnancy. Or maybe Holland saw something she shouldn’t have; the possibilities are endless, and Eddie’s imagination is limitless.

Eventually, he circles back to what he’s supposed to do with this information. Should he turn them in? Maybe not Wheeler; she seems like she’s experienced enough guilt as it and the girl has a bright future or whatever it is the teachers are always talking about. Harrington, though? Harrington, he should turn in, right? I mean, he didn’t even seem phased when Wheeler brought up the murder. Eddie’s watched enough horror movies to know that’s psychopath behavior right there. Besides, it would be nice to see the King behind bars. But then again, he hasn’t been the King in a while. And Harrington’s never really done anything to Eddie beyond standing idle while Hagan threw slurs at him. But he’s not hanging out with Hagan anymore, so maybe he should cut him some slack.

Though they did murder someone.

Jesus H. Christ.

Maybe this is why they say curiosity killed the cat — Eddie’s head is throbbing. He’s about to take another hit from his joint when he hears leaves crunching in the distance.

Shit.

Someone’s coming.

Snubbing out his joint against the rock, Eddie tries his best to make it seem like he’s just here, escaping the busy Halloween night. Which, like, he definitely is, but he can’t be too safe. Especially not when there are two teenage murderers on the loose.

“She thinks m’bullshit? She’s bullshit! Bullshit.”

The voice is unmistakable.

Jesus H. Christ could tonight get any weirder.

Eddie’s only escape is to run deeper into the forest, and he’s not about to do that so he makes himself comfortable on top of Skull Rock like a fucking sitting duck. Searching the pockets of his vest, he yanks out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Neither of which he was looking for. Of course, he left his pocket knife in his van. Stupid. So stupid!

There’s a moment of silence before Harrington emerges from the clearing. The moon is bright above them, making Steve’s tear-stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes glow in the otherwise dark forest.

Maybe he is feeling guilty after all.

“Ah, fuck,” Harrington groans, stumbling to the ground.

Eddie watches as he rolls around for a moment, struggling to find his footing. If Eddie were a mean person, he might let Harrington suffer. But something about his behavior reminds him of a wounded animal, and Eddie’s always had a soft spot for bruised and broken things.

“Shit, Harrington, you okay?” Eddie asks, jumping down.

Eddie’s boots crunch against the leaves, startling Harrington. He manages to pull himself into a seated position and brandishes a near empty beer bottle in Eddie’s direction. “Stay back!”

“Woah, man,” Eddie yelps, hands raised in surrender in front of him. “Don’t kill me.”

“Oh, s’you,” Steve says, slumping against the tree behind him. He tosses the beer bottle aside and runs both his hands over his face. “Jesus. Why does everyone think I would kill s-someone?”

“Uh,” Eddie stutters, glancing around. Now’s his chance to make a break for it. Put those hours of physical education to good use and sprint to the van before Harrington has a chance to make him his next victim. But there’s something in Steve’s sad eyes and dejected voice that makes Eddie stay. “‘Cause you have killed someone before?”

“Man, what the hell are you talking about?” Harrington snaps, fumbling to get out of his jacket. “I’ve n-never killed anyone.”

“So, you didn’t kill Barbara Holland, then?”

“No! Jesus, ‘course not. Barb was… Barb was nice. She was good. Like Nance. Better than Nance, maybe. I don’t know,” Harrington whines, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Barb she’s… yeah, man, she’s dead. But I didn’t have anything to do with that. N-not in the way you think I did, at least.”

Harrington’s not making a lot of sense, which only spurs Eddie’s curiosity on more. Closing the distance between them, Eddie hops to a squat in front of him. “But you did have something to do with what happened to her?”

“Shit, man,” Harrington groans, words slurring more more. “S’complicated, okay. I can’t talk about it with you or her parents or anyone. Or else they’ll come for me or Nance or our families and then we’ll all be toast like Barb. And that… that thing that came out of the Byers’ wall.”

Complicated? Jesus H. Christ, Eddie’s never heard anything more complicated than the jumble of words that just left Harrington’s mouth. He can feel his heart racing in his chest, the realization that they’re alone in the woods talking about something someone doesn’t want Harrington talking about.

“What?” Eddie says more to himself than to Steve. “Harrington, what thing in the Byers wall? You’re not making any sense!”

“The thing. You know, the… the,” Steve hiccups. “The thing we can’t talk ‘bout, else they’ll come for us next.”

Someone will come for him and his family if he reveals what happened to Barb? And the thing in the Byers wall? He wants to ask who would come. What would happen? Is he being blackmailed? There are so many questions dancing on the tip of his tongue, but none of them win the war.

“Harrington, man,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “Are you in trouble? Do you, like, need help or something?”

Finally, freeing himself from his jacket, Harrington lifts his head and looks up. There’s a moment where Eddie’s life flashes before his eyes, but then the sad replay of his life is interrupted by Harrington’s hand on his cheek. A dopey-looking grin on his face as he squints up at Eddie.

“You have pretty eyes, M-m-munson. Anyone ever tell you that?” Steve slurs before promptly passing out against the tree.

What the hell has Eddie gotten himself into?

[kittykat-25]

Golden Hour

Pairings: Park Seonghwa x OC! Katherine

Genre: Hogwarts AU, strangers to lovers(?), shy girl x popular boy

Summary: Park Seonghwa, the light of the Hufflepuff Common room, the Golden boy if you will. Popular, kind, handsome beyond belief. 1/8th of the rowdiest friend group to grace Hogwarts walls. And then there was Katherine, quiet, shy, a fly on the wall. Never seen or heard by anyone except Seonghwa. What happened when the popular golden boy falls for the quiet mouse of the school.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Seonghwa walked into the dining hall, surrounded by his usually friends. The loud booming voice of Wooyoung bouncing off the walls. His eyes slid over to the hufflepuff table, towards the end where his friend was sitting. As he said his goodbyes he joined his housemates, everyone saying hello as he passed by. He sat down next to Mingi whose head was stuck in a book. “Mingi you don’t even read this much for classes? What new creature did you find?” Hwa asked the younger boy. “Just refreshing my brain on the hypogriff.” Mingi said reaching for his glass of pumpkin juice. Not paying any attention, Hwa moved the cup at the last second before the boy could spill it. “Mingi at least look where your hand is going please.” He said setting the glass out of Mingi’s reach.

Seonghwa felt eyes on him and looked up, briefly making eye contact with a fellow housemate, she quickly looked away, tucking a strand of her long hair behind her ear. Mingi looked up and followed his friends eyes, “if you keep staring, she’s never going to sit down here again.” He whispered. Seonghwa looked at his friend, “what are you talking about?” He heard a rustling and when he looked back the girl was gone. “See. I told you.” Mingi said shoving a piece of orange in his mouth. “She’s an enigma. She only talks to a couple of the girls but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her outside of class.” Mingi continued, “and now you stared and scared her.” Seonghwa kept looking around the hall, she had completely vanished. “I didn’t mean to scare her. I just noticed her down there.” He said quietly, “what’s her name?” He asked. “I actually don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her speak.” Mingi said as he gathered his books, grabbing a pastry as well. “I have charms but I’ll see you later!” He said as he sprinted out of the hall.

As seonghwa finished up breakfast and headed towards the potions classroom he couldn’t shake the image of that girl from him mind. “What has you so lost in thought?” A voice called out, Seonghwa looked to his left and found Hongjoong strolling up beside him. “Nothing, did you finish the potions essay?” He asked changing the subject. Seonghwa knew his friend, and once he had something in mind he wouldn’t let it go easily. Better to not mention the girl at all. “Of course I did, can’t stay top of our class without doing the work Hwa.” Hongjoong said quietly. Just as Seonghwa went to answer he caught a glimpse of a girl in the corner of his eye. He turned towards her. It was her, she looked at him with wide eyes before quickly walking into the potions classroom. “Ah the distraction I presume.” Hongjoong said opening the door. “Shut up Joong.” He’s said as he found his seat. He quickly looked around the classroom and found you in the back corner, writing something and talking quietly with your table partner. “If you’re going to stare at the poor girl at least say hi before you scare her.” Hongjoong said opening his text book. Seonghwa turned around and leaned back in the chair. He was never going to hear the end of it from Hongjoong.

As Katherine doodled in her notebook her seatmate, Danielle nudged her “Park Seonghwa is looking over here.” She slowly looked up, sure enough she locked eyes with the gorgeous man. He gave a small wave, just then the back door flew open and the potions professor strolled in to begin the lesson. As Katherine sat there writing notes, she could feel eyes on her. Not used to being seen she forced herself to remain calm. She looked up at the board and could see Seonghwa staring at her. “Mr. Park, is there something in the back corner that is more fascinating than my lesson?” The professor asked, snapped Seonghwa out of his daze. “No, sir. My apologies.” As class ended Seonghwa had decided to approach you but by the time he had gathering his things and turned around you were gone, like smoke in the wind. “Better luck next time.” Hongjoong said steering Hwa out of the classroom. “She’s in your house. Just look for her in the common room.” He added. They turned the corner and found their group of friends sitting at the base of the stairs, “it’s like they have no life other than to wait on us.” Hongjoong said loud enough for the other boys to hear. Seonghwa laughed and made his way over. Not noticing the girl sitting at the base opposite stairwell, watching with an amused smile on her face.

Seonghwa’s friend were a lot, as the eight of them had been stuck like glue since his 3rd year. He met Hongjoong his first year on the train, and they had bickered the whole way but now considered him his other half. There was never Seonghwa without Hongjoong and vice versa. They had met Yunho and Yeosang the next year. Quiet Yeo sitting with an excited energetic boy on the train had quickly asked Seonghwa to sit with them. The four of them became seven as Yunho’s childhood friend Mingi joined the next year bringing Wooyoung and San along. The train compartment getting louder and louder. People knowing them by name and teachers doing their best to separate them. Then the youngest joined. Jongho, And with him came a sense of brotherhood. They looked out for each other, and the eight of them were given the name Ateez by the other students. All in different houses but brothers just the same. He loved them more than he loved himself.

Except in this moment. When he would like to strangle Hongjoong for telling the others about his mystery girl. Whose name he still didn’t know. It had been a week and it was driving him crazy. “You saw her twice and didn’t think to ask her name?” Wooyoung said, voice echoing through the empty classroom. “No he was too busy staring at her to speak.” Hongjoong said with a laugh. “Hwa you know everyone. How have you never noticed this girl?” San asked. To be frank Seonghwa wasn’t sure how he had missed you the past 6 years he’d been here. He knew almost everyone in the school, or they knew him at least. He was the friendliest of the eight, besides Yunho. “She’s not in one of his fan clubs?” Their youngest asked, smirked at his elder. Wooyoung laughed, “ah is that still going on? I thought she would’ve given up by now?” Yunho rolled his eyes, “please Vivian would rather get through in the lake with the squid then give up on perfect golden boy over there.” Seonghwa scoffed, “she’s just friendly, she’s like that to everyone.” Yeosang looked at him like he had grown three heads, “Hwa I’ve met vipers nicer than Vivian.” Seonghwa stood up, tired of this conversation and grabbed his bag, “I’m going to get Mingi from the greenhouse. Are you lot coming or not?” Yunho stood up and stretched, “you coddle him too much Hwa.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and walked to the door. “You do too, I just make sure he’s not losing my house points by being out after dark.” He closed the door to Wooyoung yelling, “don’t get caught by Filch.” Hwa shook his head as the door latched and made his way down to the greenhouse.

He was walking down through the courthouse when he heard a yelp come from the other side of the fountain. He walked towards it and came face to face with Katherine and Mrs. Norris, Filch’s cat. The latter had Katherine crouched against the side of the fountain. Books strewn everywhere. “Are you alright?” Seonghwa asked. Katherine looked up, eyes round. “Yeah the bloody cat just scared me.” Seonghwa looked a bit amused as he shooed Mrs Norris away from the girl. He crouched down to pick up her books. “Want to tell me why your crouched down?” He asked and he crouched beside her. “I’m not crouched.” She said back quickly. Hwa gave her a sideways glance. Completely enamored by the girl. “I went to stand up and the dumb thing was under my feet and I stepped on her tail. Scared me to death when her claw sank into my leg.” She said half laughing. Seonghwa processed her words, “your leg, is it okay?” Katherine shrugged, “I’m sure it’s fine. It’s just a scratch.” Seonghwa was not convinced, “it can get infected. You should probably go see madam Pomfry.” He suggested. “I’m not sure she’ll have medicine for half cat half demon scratches.” Katherine grumbled as she stood. Seonghwa laughed, standing with her, “madam Pomfry has everything. Woman is a miracle worker.” He smiled as she looked up at him. “I never got your name. I’m so sorry!” He said quickly. She smiled, “Katherine, or Kat. Whichever.��� “Katherine” Seonghwa repeated, “yes?” She asked as she gathered her things.

Seonghwa felt his cheeks redden. Realizing he said her name just to see how it felt. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you before.” He said quickly, grabbing her scarf from the fountain. “I don’t really make myself known.” Katherine said walking around the fountain towards the castle entrance. “Have a good night Seonghwa.” She said as she walked inside leaving him speechless staring after her. “What are you doing?” A voice said behind him, Mingi. Covered in dirt, holding a small potted plant. “I was coming to get you but I ran into the girl from the dining hall.” He said staring after her. “She’s in our house. You’ll see her again soon if you’d come on.” Mingi said as he yanked the door open. Walking through the hallways Mingi told Hwa all about the plants he’s growing and how madam Sprout is letting him take control over some of them. “Im proud of you Mingi. You’re doing really well.” Hwa said as they went through the portrait into the common room. Seonghwa’s eyes instantly searching for Katherine. His eyes found her curled up in an oversized chair with her eyes scanning a book, she looked up sensing someone watching her. He gave her a smile, one she returned this time and Seonghwa thought he heart was going to beat out of his chest. “You finally talk to her?” Mingi asked quietly beside him. Seonghwa just nodded and made his way up to their dorm room. “Her names Katherine.” Seonghwa said, still smiling. “You like her.” Mingi said, not as a question but stating a fact. “Seonghwa shook his head, “no I barely know her. I’m just intrigued.” Mingi just laughed as he threw himself on the bed, “you are so screwed man.” As Seonghwa laid in bed that night, replaying the conversation over and over again he couldn’t help but think that maybe his younger friend was right.

A/N: HEHEHE these are my two favorite things! Harry Potter and Ateez🤍

I hope you enjoy this story and thank you to the lovely @sundaybossanova for the idea and helping me with this 🖤

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

TAGLIST🥰 sorry you all are stuck with me

@sundaybossanova @vampzity @skzline @sanslovesblog @scarfac3 @mingisbbokari @edenesth @amuromio

[nicohischierz]

snow on the beach: quinn hughes 

“aren’t you hot?” quinn asked. the two of you were headed to michigan for the summer and this would be the first time you were meeting his family.

you were beyond nervous about what they would think. especially his mom because you knew how much she meant to him.

quinn gave you a bewildered look as you shook your head. but quinn knew you and he saw the way you fidgeted with the sleeve of your hoodie, trying to cover the tattoo that trailed up your lower arm.

sighing, quinn intertwined your fingers with his and gave you a kiss on your head. when he started dating you, your older brother had sat him down and told him how the only times you truly stayed quiet were when you were nervous or scared.

“don’t worry darling, they’re going to love you,” he whispered kissing your head again. you nodded and tugged at his hand looking for his parents.

he chuckled before spotting his youngest brothers curly hair in the distance. and when the two of you reached luke and jack you froze.

quinn was wondering why you stopped but the extra body leaching onto you answered his question. the oldest hughes brother groaned as he noticed his brothers best friend.

“trevor let go of my girlfriend,” quinn demanded.

you smiled at the boy and patted his head before taking his arms off you. “hi trevor, it’s nice to meet you,” you introduced.

trevor smiled up at you before going to hug quinn. you chuckled at your boyfriend before introducing yourself to his brothers. “hi i’m y/n,”

jack shook your hand and welcomed you whilst luke just gave you a smile. he didn’t know the depth of your relationship but he didn’t appreciate the fact that you’d just decided to show up at their lake house.

when you arrived at the lake house ellen had greeted you and quinn at the door. “hi sweetie my names ellen, it’s so nice to meet you,” the hughes matriarch introduced.

“hi ellen, i’m y/n. thank you so much for letting me stay,” you spoke to the women with such confidence that no one would tell how freaked out you were before hand.

ellen helped you and quinn settle into your room and spoke to you about you living situation with her son before excusing herself to go back home and let the boys have fun.

quinn had mentioned some of luke and jack’s friends coming over for the summer to stay at the lake house. “darling i’m going to take a nap,” quinn announced face planting onto his bed.

you rolled your eyes at home and shoved him off you slightly. “enjoy your nap sleepy head, i’m going to the pool to soak up some summer sun,” you kissed his lips before going to change into your bikini.

surprisingly, there was no one else by the pool so you put your headphones in and listened to your summer playlist before texting your family that you’d arrived and finishing your essay for your summer class.

“she has so many earrings,” 

“dude did you see her tattoo?”

“were you staring at her chest?!” 

the boys started discussing what they thought about you with quinn whilst you laid outside. 

“wait what’s her name?” dylan asked. the group of boys at the lake house had tried looking through quinn’s following to find your account but they hit a blank wall. 

dylan’s question went unanswered as quinn turned his attention to trevor. the boy was blushing at quinn’s accusation “dude i was talking about the tattoo on her arm. i didn’t know she had a tattoo on her chest,” he defended. 

trevor wanted to say more but cole slapped his arm as he saw you walking into the kitchen. you raised your eyebrows at the boys and headed straight to the fridge giving quinn a kiss on the way there. 

you pulled out a can of beer and grabbed another one for quinn before sitting on your boyfriends lap. after hearing quinn mention the tattoo on your chest all the boys diverted their attention to that spot. 

“did it hurt?” trevor asked. 

you looked up from quinn at the boy and smiled “you’re the one who hugged me at the airport right?”

trevor started blushing before you chuckled “yeah it hurt a little. but honestly i was probably high on adrenaline that i didn’t feel it that much,” 

“how did you meet quinn?” 

“yeah, how did quinn manage to pull?” the boys asked. 

quinn groaned at all his brothers friends and hide his face in your back. you let out a hearty laugh and turned to the boys, giving them your full attention. 

“i met quinn at a team dinner, i was visiting my brother for the weekend and i bumped into quinn. i’d seen him around the house and arena a bunch and i’d always thought he was cute,”

“did he ask you out?” luke asked. this was the first time he had spoken to you and your heart swelled up. 

“no. have you met quinn? he couldn’t string two sentences together around me there was no way he was asking me out so i asked him,” 

“but i asked you to be my girlfreind,” quinn defended. 

you turned around and pinched his cheeks “of course you did quinny,” you kissed both his cheeks before kissing his lips. 

over the summer you bonded with the boys well. they were surprised how completely opposite to quinn but they saw how the dynamic worked. trevor loved you because you were able to match his energy and talk about taylor swift with him. 

he even quoted the artist when describing your relationship dynamic.

“they’re like snow on the beach. weird but fucking beautiful,”

[neuroticreno]

Big fan of your hc about Myron being a vault city citizen, do you wanna share more on it? No biggie if you don't wanna!

you have no idea the beast you have unleashed, anon.

ALRIGHT FAIR WARNING HERE it is. an extremely lengthy explanation and i've been meaning to share it here anyhow :] take this doodle of him as well for a little extra

As a preface, this headcanon is entirely for funsies (and autism). Some bits may seem like a stretch of the imagination, but it's fun to give him some kind of backstory, so take it all as you will.

I use dialogue from Myron's talking head segments, as well as the floating dialogue seen when Myron is in active combat (how canonical the combat dialogue is may be up for debate, but for the sake of this…essay? we'll say it's true).

To start, let us briefly examine Myron's character. Notably, the parts that relate most to this essay.

Myron is intelligent. To give him credit where credit is due, he is smart and thoroughly understands the subjects that he talks about. The people around him know this as well, and remark on it too (mostly at how wasted his potential is). He cares little for the well-being of others, especially slaves, whom he views as objects, and mutants are worth even less to him. He also has a very high opinion of himself, often referring to himself in the third person and boasting about his intellectual capabilities (calling himself a genius, a God, etc. etc).

So, we know he has not lived in New Reno for his entire life, only being there roughly a year or so. As he puts it, he came across the Mordino's way back when, so where was he before that? Just wandering the wastes? Or perhaps coming from another settlement?

Myron, compared to any other companion in the game, mentions Vault City quite a bit. Even more than John Cassidy, who has been tending to a bar outside the Vault City walls for a presumably long time. Though he shares the same distaste that many others do for the city, he also possesses what feels like insider's knowledge that the average wastelander would not have.

A lot of this knowledge presents itself when Myron's intelligence is threatened. If the Chosen One is smart enough, they can engage in a dialogue with Myron and demonstrate to him just how much they know about Jet and its chemical compounds. He will snip at the Chosen One for asking too many questions and interrogate them, asking where they learned all of this stuff anyway. Their understanding of pharmaceuticals is on a similar level to his own, which he may take as them learning it from the same place. Makes sense, considering during combat, Myron will mention he has not been in a fight since the fifth grade. Nowhere else in the game beyond a stray tombstone in Golgotha is any school mentioned or found. One can assume that Vault City would be the only settlement nearby with an established education system, thus reinforcing his belief.

Should the Chosen One pry him about a cure for Jet and suggest endorphin blockers, when asked where they could find such a thing, Myron will suggest Vault City first. He explains they have a 'pretty good' medical warehouse, and laughs when they want to try it as an option, saying they would have more luck getting a radscorpion to part with its tail than getting Vault City to give up anything. The city is widely known for its medical advancements, but Myron could have more of an idea of just how extensive their medical know-how is, having experienced it firsthand. Myron also proclaims that he is a 'natural', 'self-taught', and possesses 'none of that bullshit Vault City 'purer-than-thou' 'tude', which is funny since he spouts off his own 'purer-than-thou' 'tude every time he opens his mouth. Of course, he may have some level of natural intellect, but the rest of it likely stems from an education.

He also remarks that the citizens are a 'Buncha "genetically pure" humans. They got their noses so high in the air they'll drown when it rains'. Again, pretty humorous regarding his own high-and-mighty sense of self.

We can look at his propensity to look down upon slaves/servants. In Vault City, slaves are integrated enough into society to call for a Servant Allocation Center. Where citizens regard them with little to no respect, Myron, having grown up in Vault City, likely followed that ideology, too. The city's negative view of mutants could also explain his own distaste for them.

Myron also makes a lot of Dungeons and Dragons references, which is really just a funny haha 90s pop culture thing at the end of it, but it is fun to imagine that, at some point, he might have had his own little group when he was younger. This bit is just speculation for the sake of entertainment.

All of this raises more questions though; why did he leave? How did he leave? And how did he make it to New Reno without dying on the way there?

As for why he left, we know that Myron does not appreciate being hindered or being told what to do. Working for the Mordino's, he will complain that they only want him to focus on Jet when he wants to make new drugs instead. He complains as well about the lack of respect, so he could have left Vault City for similar reasons. Perhaps his talents were recognized, and he was allowed to experiment more in the field of chemistry. However, Myron could have found Vault City's restrictions less than ideal, giving him the incentive to leave and find somewhere with more creative freedom (he can leave New Reno for the same reasons, anyhow).

How he left and how he got to New Reno is difficult to explain. Myron has virtually no survival skills, and it is a considerable distance from Vault City to New Reno. Hitched a ride with a caravan, maybe? Him managing to escape a settlement covered in laser turrets and guards is also unlikely, but perhaps there was some kind of weakness he was smart enough to exploit and slip through.

Any additional thoughts on this bit would be appreciated :]

[whencyclopedia]

Women Religious Crossing between Cloister and the World: Nunneries in Europe and the Americas, ca. 1200–1700

This book is recommended to advanced scholars of medieval and early modern religious history. This collection of essays focuses on how women participated in and were shaped by monastic and religious life. The contribution this book makes is to examine medieval and early modern gender history through a transatlantic lens.

Women Religious Crossing Between Cloister and the World: Nunneries in Europe and the Americas, ca. 1200-1700 is the result of a collaborative research project focused on the relationships between women and the “religious.” Edited by art historian Mercedes Pérez Vidal, a research fellow at Heinrich Heine University Düsseldorf, this collection of essays analyzes religious women from the Middle Ages through the Early Modern period through a transnational lens. The Société d’Études Interdisplinaires sur les Femmes au Moyen Âge et à la Renaissance (SEIFMAR) organized the research project, and its goal was to examine how women participated in and were shaped by monastic and religious life. As a transnational undertaking, the volume also takes a comparative geographical approach to women and religious life in Europe and America.

The collection originated as SEIFMAR conference papers that were developed into articles. There are seven essays in the collection. Each essay addresses one or more of the four themes from the conference including studying religious women across time, space, and category; examining women’s agency within and outside the cloister; analyzing race and social class among religious women and studying material objects through cultural networks as a mode of creating and extending power. The essays were written by European and Latin American scholars, and each essay concludes with findings and an extensive bibliography. Chapter One by Sylvie Duval examines “Female Dominican Identities” while Chapter Five by Doris Bienko de Peralta is titled “Transatlantic Circulation of Objects, Books, and Ideas in Mid-Seventeenth Century Mexican Nunneries.” The last chapter by Annalena Müller is in French and focuses on class-based feminine power at the convent of Fontevraud in the 17th century.

Vidal makes a convincing argument that scholarship spanning continents focused on religious women, agency, and the transmission of ideas expands the historiographies of empire, nation, gender, and class. The book illustrates that religious women were political and powerful purveyors of information and played a role in shaping religious identity inside and outside of the convent both in Europe and the Americas.

This is not a collection aimed at a wide readership. It is a text aimed at medieval and early modern scholars. While the whole collection could be beneficial in a graduate classroom setting, it may be too advanced for undergraduate students. There are individual chapters such as Claudia Sutter’s piece, "In Touch with the Outside: The Economic Exchanges of the Observant Dominican Convent of St. Catherine in St. Gallen," which would work well in a European medieval course illustrating the economic exchanges of the time through the lens of gender. Miguel Garcia-Fernandez’s article, "Beyond the Wall: Power, Parties, and Sex in Late Medieval Galician Nunneries," would be interesting to those studying gender and sexuality in a medieval history course. I would recommend this collection to scholars who are interested in the intersection between medieval and early modern gender dynamics concerning religious history. The book is part of a series focused on Western and Eastern Christian communities from 500-1500 CE and could be of interest to a broader readership to those who have some prior knowledge of medieval and early modern history. In other words, this is not a book for those new to the subject. Transnational academic histories of medieval and early modern women are rather limited in terms of scholarship, and this collection contributes to understanding women’s agency, the transmission of information, and power structures through the lens of the "religious" in a new and worthwhile way.

Continue reading...

[resiliencebeast]

Equity Education and Mutual Justice Resources: The Book List

Anti-Racism and Intersectionality How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Darkwater: Voices from Within the Veil by W.E.B. Du Bois On Critical Race Theory: Why It Matters & Why You Should Care by Victor Ray

You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience by Tarana Burke (Editor) Brené Brown (Editor) Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi

So You Want to Talk About Race By Ijeoma Oluo

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde

Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey

Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Mutual Aid, Direct Action, Organizing, and Community Building

Let This Radicalize You: Organizing and the Revolution of Reciprocal Care by Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes

Just Action: How to Challenge Segregation Enacted Under the Color of Law by Richard Rothstein and Leah Rothstein

Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next) by Dean Spade

Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution by Pyotr Kropotkin

Living at the Edges of Capitalism: Adventures in Exile and Mutual Aid by Andrej Grubačić

Viral Justice: How We Grow the World We Want by Ruha Benjamin

We Do This 'til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice by Mariame Kaba

Practicing Cooperation: Mutual Aid beyond Capitalism by Andrew Zitcer

Practicing New Worlds: Abolition and Emergent Strategies by Andrea Ritchie

Freedom Is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement by Angela Y. Davis Anti-Capitalist and Anti-Colonialism Education

The Poverty of Growth by Olivier De Schutter

Becoming Abolitionists: Police, Protests, and the Pursuit of Freedom by Derecka Purnell, Karen Chilton, et al.

The Future Is Degrowth: A Guide to a World Beyond Capitalism by Aaron Vansintjan, Matthias Schmelzer, and Andrea Vetter

Except for Palestine: The Limits of Progressive Politics by Marc Lamont Hill, Mitchell Plitnick, et al.

Anthropocene or Capitalocene? Nature, History, and the Crisis of Capitalism by Elmar Altvater (Author), Eileen C. Crist (Author), Donna J. Haraway (Author), Daniel Hartley (Author), Christian Parenti (Author), Justin McBrien (Author), Jason W. Moore (Editor) (Also available as a PDF online)

Dying for Capitalism: How Big Money Fuels Extinction and What We Can Do About It by Charles Derber, Suren Moodliar

On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy Snyder History and Political Science

A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

Black Marxism, Revised and Updated Third Edition: The Making of the Black Radical Tradition by Cedric J. Robinson

The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein

Palestine: A Socialist Introduction by Sumaya Awad (Editor) and Brian Bean (Editor)

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander (this technical book also has an organizing guide and study guide)

1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus by Charles C. Mann

Time's Monster: How History Makes History by Priya Satia

We Refuse: A Forceful History of Black Resistance by Kellie Carter Jackson

How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them by Jason Stanley

Indigenous Knowledge

Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer (there is also a version of Braiding Sweetgrass for young adults)

Becoming Kin: An Indigenous Call to Unforgetting the Past and Reimagining Our Future by Patty Krawec

Indian Givers: How Native Americans Transformed the World by Jack Weatherford

Tending the Wild: Native American Knowledge and the Management of California's Natural Resources by Kat Anderson

Fresh Banana Leaves: Healing Indigenous Landscapes Through Indigenous Science by Jessica Hernandez Disability Education and Rights Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally by Emily Ladau Black Disability Politics by Sami Schalk

Crip Kinship: The Disability Justice & Art Activism of Sins Invalid by Shayda Kafai

Pandemic Solidarity: Mutual Aid during the Coronavirus Crisis by Marina Sitrin (Editor), Rebecca Solnit (Editor)

Disability Intimacy: Essays on Love, Care, and Desire by Alice Wong

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Refusing to Be Made Whole: Disability in Black Women's Writing by Anna Laquawn Hinton

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price (this author also has a guide on the same topic)

Queer Issues

We Are Everywhere: Protest, Power, and Pride in the History of Queer Liberation Hardcover by Matthew Riemer and Leighton Brown Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution by Susan Stryker

Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman by Leslie Feinberg

Stonewall: The Definitive Story of the LGBTQ Rights Uprising That Changed America by Martin Duberman

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe (graphic novel) Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown

A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski

The Gay Agenda: A Modern Queer History & Handbook by Ashley Molesso and Chessie Needham

They/Them/Their: A Guide to Nonbinary and Genderqueer Identities by Eris Young

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman

This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson (Author) and David Levithan (Contributor)

Nonbinary For Beginners: Everything you’ve been afraid to ask about gender, pronouns, being an ally, and black & white thinking by Ocean Atlas

All Boys Aren't Blue: A Memoir-Manifesto by George M. Johnson

Gender: A Graphic Guide by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele (Illustrator)

Resources for Kids and Parents

The Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families by Rachel E. Simon (Author) and Noah Grigni (Illustrator)

This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life by Dan Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo This Book Is Feminist: An Intersectional Primer for Next-Gen Changemakers by Jamia Wilson and Aurelia Durand (Illustrator)

Unlearning White Supremacy and Colonialist Culture

The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor

Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism by Robin Diangelo

Black Rage by William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs

White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson

How to Understand Your Gender: A Practical Guide for Exploring Who You Are by Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

This Book Is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons on How to Wake Up, Take Action, and Do the Work by Tiffany Jewell (Author) and Aurelia Durand (Illustrator)

Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock

Gender Trauma: Healing Cultural, Social, and Historical Gendered Trauma by Alex Iantaffi

The Politics of Trauma: Somatics, Healing, and Social Justice by Staci Haines

Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority by Tom Burrell

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla F. Saad

Articles and Online Resources (Including Research Articles)

White Supremacy Culture by Tema Okun, at dRworks (This is a list of characteristics of white supremacy culture that show up in our organizations and workplaces.)

Reflections on Agroecology and Social Justice in Malwa-Nimar by Caroline E. Fazli

Mutual Aid Toolbox by Big Door Brigade Mutual Aid Resources by Mutual Aid Disaster Relief No body is expendable: Medical rationing and disability justice during the COVID-19 pandemic by Andrews, Ayers, Brown, Dunn, & Pilarski (2021)

A Marxist Theory of Extinction by Troy Vettese

Intersectionality Research for Transgender Health Justice: A Theory-Driven Conceptual Framework for Structural Analysis of Transgender Health Inequities by Linda M. Wesp, Lorraine Halinka Malcoe, Ayana Elliott, and Tonia Poteat Know Your Rights Guide to Surviving COVID-19 Triage Protocols by NoBody is Disposable

Finally Feeling Comfortable: The Necessity of Trans-Affirming, Trauma-Informed Care by Alex Petkanas (on TransLash Media)

'Are you ready to heal?': Nonbinary activist Alok Vaid-Menon deconstructs gender by Jo Yurcaba

Gender-affirming Care Saves Lives by Kareen M. Matouk and Melina Wald

What It Takes to Heal: How Transforming Ourselves Can Change the World by Prentis Hemphill

Note from the curator: Please use your local libraries when possible! Be #ResiliencePunk.

[limecaine]

House of Leaves: The Distinction

I posted this on r/houseofleaves a few months ago but seeing as Reddit is the shit hitting the fan right now I’m going to post it here.

Hi everyone. I found it interesting that throughout the book, a distinction between the house (the physical, literal house on Ash Tree Lane) and the house (The endless black hallways) is never established, or, at the very least, that establishment is implied, and then broken.

Navidson’s lack of construction knowledge and hubris leave him as somewhat of an unreliable character in the first few chapters. That is until one of my favorite sections, 1/4”. Just to recap, Navidson discovers that the house is now 1/4” larger on the inside than the outside. This is foreshadowing that the Black Hallways are not just contained to beyond the doorway. Tom, with his years of experience and tools (as well as Reston) discover that the house is, in fact, 5/16” larger than the inside. This is a funny moment of subversion as well as terrifyingly concrete evidence of strange activity.

And then, there’s the door. The door covers the second hallway’s entrance, locked behind four color-coded keys. This door served no purpose other than peace of mind. To me, Tom and Navidson saw it as a way to keep “whatever may be inside” out, but Karen hoped it would keep Navidson from going inside. At this point, the reader may believe the inhabitants are safe from “whatever may be inside.” But they aren’t.

The hallways are like a tumor or a parasite. The inhabitants think they cut it off, but they haven’t. The entire house is the black hallways: it is either “pretending” to be normal, tied to perception of its size, learning how to be larger, or something entirety different. Honestly I could write entire essays on some explanations for why the house starts out seemingly docile (the tunnel from the parent’s room to the children’s) and then by the end starts literally consuming the characters. Anyway, the house starts off shut out behind this door. But it is revealed that it is metastatic. No distinction is made because there is no distinction. The entire house is the hallways. Rooms and walls stretch, floors fall into oblivion, things are “eaten.”

One possible explanation could be that it is Karen and Tom who harm the house. It is only after these two characters are gone that it starts to actually hurt Navidson. Karen’s fear is almost crippling, yes, but she uses various methods to make the house more home-like, and the house rebels against this by dematerializing her feng shui. And by the end, she is the one who truly “beat” the house. Tom, on the other hand, hurt the house by being himself. He was scared and used humor and love to fight back against it. Almost making the house mortal, calling it “Mr. Monster.” It’s unknown if these things even harmed the house at all, but it apparently did somewhat “quell” it. That’s really besides the point, but I just wanted to comment on something of note.

Evidence shows that the Hallways have existed for a very long time and seemingly do not need a “residence” to exist, due to stairs (ftairs!) appearing. The House on Ash Tree Lane is just a vessel for the facsimile inside. It can literally stretch space within itself, but its effect ends outside the walls.

Another thing to note: the blue coloring of house is related to this. Not only is every single mention of the word, English or not, colored inside, but it’s blue colored on the cover and back as well. When you close the book, the house is still there. It’s not contained within the pages, the House has completely engulfed the book. Like how the darkness engulfed the entire house on Ash Tree Lane.

[raincode-archives]

Chapter 4 Loading Screen Trivia

Note: Currently, I do not know which of these trivia may be general game trivia or Chapter 4 exclusives (if there is any). And there may be trivia I'm currently missing that I will add later on, if I find any more.

World Detective Organization (WDO) An extra-legal, extra-privileged organization devoted to eradicating the world's unsolved mysteries.

Detective Deed An identification card. These are granted by the World Detective Organization.

Master Detective Among the detectives belonging to the World Detective Organization, this is a detective with a specialized power called Forensic Forte that aids in their investigative activities.

Forensic Forte Those exhibiting innate talent for special powers like clairvoyance or mind-reading are trained by the WDO to develop a supernatural investigative ability called Forensic Forte or simply, Forte.

Amaterasu Corporation Many products are in development, some of which cannot be made public.

Amaterasu Peacekeepers A department of Amaterasu Corporation. They serve as a sort of police force within Kanai Ward.

Kamasaki District Crime generally isn't bad here, unless you venture deeper inside, that is.

Riverbank Due to polluted waters, fish are rarely caught.

Kanai Station The only train station in Kanai Ward. It's a magnificent building, but seldom has customers because of the city's isolation.

Kanai Ward Living Condition Perhaps because of the daily rainfall, some people in Kanai Ward don't mind getting wet.

TV Programs Nearly all the TV programs broadcasted in Kanai Ward are sponsored by Amaterasu Corporation.

Popular Sports Parkour is popular among the young men of Kamasaki District. New problems have arisen however, what will all the trespassing and running across the top of food stalls.

Means of Communication Most communications to people outside of Kanai Ward are tapped and monitored by Amaterasu. The phone at the Nocturnal Detective Agency uses a different type of line to prevent eavesdropping.

Pets Because of Kanai Ward's unending rain, indoor pets are popular. At the same time, there is increasing concern of many dogs and cats become feral after being abandoned by irresponsible owners.

Kanai Ward's Electrical Power Because of the perpetual rain, electrical power is derived predominantly from rainwater.

Flavor of Halara's Candy Depends on the mood. The worse the mood, the sweeter the taste; the better the mood, the lighter the taste.

Fubuki's Accessories Fubuki's necklace has a clock motif. The choker is decorated with video playback control symbols.

Vivia's Book Catalog Novels, columns, essays, all sorts of things. There's no particular preference for genre; he reads just to pass time.

Vivia's Garments There are just bandage-like wrappings beneath his coat, so it wouldn't be accurate to call it clothing.

Amaterasu Corporation The megacorporation controlling Kanai Ward. It deals in a wide variety of goods such as industrial products, electronic appliances, as well as pharmaceuticals.

Kanai Ward Currently, Kanai ward is isolated from the rest of the world. Few people enter and leave and very little information goes beyond its walls.

Kanai Tower Lease agreements are available, but the monthly rent costs as much as a luxury car.

Ama-Pal Different versions of Ama-Pal exist, but among the scarce limited edition releases, there is evidently a bear variant with differently colored left and right sides.

Ama-Pay An electronic payment system courtesy of Amaterasu Corporation. It can be used at almost any shop in Kanai Ward, but rumor has it the company collects personal data from each transaction.

Popular Appliances Indoor dryers are very popular in Kanai Ward. Amaterasu Corporation's new "Kagutsuchi" model is quite excellent, capable of drying any type of laundry in just two hours.

Amaterasu's Latest Products A drone car that will autonomously deliver you from departure...to tomorrow. "Amenotorifune." Coming soon from Amaterasu Corporation.

Amaterasu's Latest Products Fall asleep in an instant.... And slumber for eight hours without waking up...no matter what... "Snoozewell," coming soon from Amaterasu Corporation.

Amaterasu Lab Research facilities located in the underground section of the Amaterasu Corporation. Access to the lab is highly restricted, even among Amaterasu personnel.

Amaterasu Security Entry to the premises requires employee IDs, as well as biometric authentication via retinal scans, making it practically impossible for outsiders to infiltrate Amaterasu Corporation.

Blank Week Mystery A phrase considered taboo in Kanai Ward. The meaning of the phrase is unclear

Makoto's Masks The mask is different ever morning, depending on his mood. Sometimes it takes him more than 30 minutes to choose, to the chagrin of the people around him.

About Dr. Huesca He walks around barefoot in the lab. This isn't for anything health-related, he simply feel the time spent putting on shoes and socks is better used on research.

Robot Researcher Akira is his name. He's poured his whole being into Ama-Pal, his life dedicated to its development. His catchphrase: "When my time comes, I want it to be by Ama-Pal's hand."

Fink the Slaughter Artist A hitman predominantly active in Kanai Ward. It's rumored that he'll kill any target, regardless of difficulty, as long as the client can afford it.

Yomi's Cane Yomi's cane transforms into a whip and can be used to strangle people he isn't fond of.

Shinigami's Secret Depending on Shinigami's emotional state, not only can horns and a tail sprout out, but her entire body can take on a fiery form.

Amazing Physique Number One of the WDO may look wizened, but beneath his robe is a muscle-bound body, compared to that of a youth's. It's littered in scars following encounters with a variety of criminals.

Invention Detective A Master Detective whose Forte allows for on-the-spot assembly of inventions useful for an investigation. This detective was not summoned to Kanai Ward.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The golden hour on the low road to Taos. Photo: Chuck Carl (July 15, 2023) :: [Robert Scott Horton]

* * * *

"Beyond the wall of the unreal city, beyond the security fences topped with barbed wire and razor wire, beyond the asphalt belting of the superhighways, beyond the cemented banksides of temporarily stopped and mutilated rivers, beyond the rage of lies that poisons the air, there is another world waiting for you. It is the old true world of the deserts, the mountains, the forests, the islands, the shores, the open plains. Go there. Be there. Walk gently and quietly deep within it. And then -

May your trails be dim, lonesome, stony, narrow, winding and only slightly uphill. May the wind bring rain for the slickrock potholes fourteen miles on the other side of yonder blue ridge. May God's dog serenade your campfire, may the rattlesnake and the screech owl amuse your reverie, may the Great Sun dazzle your eyes by day and the Great Bear watch over you by night."

 - Edward Abbey Beyond the Wall: Essays from the Outside entheognosis

[thanks whiskey river]

[banghwa]

Like Crazy (2023) as a discussion of (queer) loneliness 

hiiii anyways i keep saying Like Crazy is incredibly bisexual/queer and its been hard to explain why without writing an essay so. without further ado:

*DISCLAIMER* I am not claiming I know anything about how Jimin identifies or the intended message of the album, nor am I claiming my interpretation as above any other. This is just my reading of FACE and Like Crazy as a gay person of colour and a grad student writing a thesis on transness where I discuss topics of loneliness as a systemic form of violence and intimacy. I am also looking at this from a very Western perspective; though I know there are likely many Korean and likely queer Korean authors, theorists, and poets evoking similar ideas, I’ll be making reference to authors that I am familiar with who are better known in a Western context.

Loneliness as a cycle of abjection

“I want to introduce Jimin’s true feelings that I didn’t bring up anywhere else. I looked back on myself and honestly expressed my […] emptiness and loneliness.”

I don’t think it would take a particularly high level of analysis to conclude that FACE, and Like Crazy more specifically, are meant to explore loneliness as a process of self-alienation. Non-binary author Olivia Laing describes the cycle of loneliness as one where: 

“[…] the lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself.” 

It’s very clear from the beginning of the music video for Like Crazy that Jimin struggles with reconciling a comfort in loneliness with a need to experience intimacy. Regardless of his efforts, the rot of loneliness is never far, seeps in through the walls and stains his hands. As (ironically) relatable of an experience as loneliness is, it does not occur in a vacuum. Rather, the unique experience of queer loneliness and rejection is one riddled by othering from acceptable sexuality and gender experiences and an inability to be framed within normative categories. Robert Phillips, scholar in language analysis as it pertains to gay male sexuality, wrote on abjection through a trans studies framework. To him, the process of horror or unease that defines abjection, through which the “other” is separated from and by an “us,” goes beyond “casting out” and becomes more interactive process; the hegemonic is protected by rejecting whatever does not conform, that is ambiguous, that does not fit in box. “The anxiety at the root of this unease with transgender subjectivity can be traced back, in part, to a fear of the ambiguous.” Loneliness, like queerness, acts as a sort of mark of Cain, a characteristic that becomes so impeded in our being that it if first noticeable and then rejectable. 

Despite being marked by loneliness, Jimin is the center of attention for the first act of the music video, featuring him crowd surfing and posing delicately for pictures. Yet, despite his yearning, he makes no move for intimacy. The music video implies the possibility that it is the result of this very hypervisibility as a figure of softness and boyishness, inviting parallels to be made here with the foucauldian references and the power play between surveillance and identity in other areas of the album, namely Set Me Free Pt. 2 (a discussion for another post for another time…..).

Hedonism as an escape

“[Like Crazy] expresses the emotions of the moment when you run away from reality to forget your wounds.”

The overlap between loneliness and overt sexuality is why eroticism is so culturally important to queer communities. Like Crazy explores desire and intimacy through what can be called a queer lens, as an escape and as an unsuccessful means to being perceived and acknowledged outside of suffering. The whole poem is absolutely beautiful, but a specific excerpt of gay Asian-American poet Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous comes to mind: “Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here? I was still here once.” As Like Crazy, Vuong’s poem discusses intimacy as the antithesis to loneliness. To be intimate is to come out of ones self.  The erotic becomes an avenue to salvation (I will permit myself a little shoutout to Christian mythos by drawing parallel to the Song of Songs - we all dream of kissing God, of laying with the presence of something larger than us, and finding deliverance from it!). 

Like Crazy communicates a power struggle between desperation for intimacy and an addiction to loneliness. What Jimin says about it and the juxtaposition with the actual visuals of the music video paints the picture of an attempt to build closeness on the foundations of perpetual solitude. In Like Crazy, closeness is futile. Loneliness becomes a lifelong lover, and intimacy an occasional affair. Though still better than perpetual solitude, it is marked by disillusion: “I’d rather be lost in the light.” Rather than evoke the image of a passionate one-night-stand, it acknowledges of the persistence of loneliness. queer latino write John Paul Brammer evokes this feeling: 

“Loneliness, I find, continues too. Our relationship with solitude is one of the most important ones we have in this life. No matter how full and vibrant and loud we make things, the quiet always finds us.”

Despite Jimin’s desires for closeness, we don’t actually see him making any move for closeness. Rather, despite his best efforts, he walks against the course of those around him in a repeated shot before knocking the camera’s lens away; again, a parallel to the surveillance of set me free, as well as a possible denial of him pace against the grain.

Queer desires and longing

“Let me have a taste / Give me a good ride.”

For non-queer people, what is difficult to understand in the particularities of queer loneliness is its entwining with desire. It’s an unspeakable yearning - as much in the ways it is indescribable as it is often life-threatening to do so. It is a profound sense of non-belonging felt in the knowledge that you are not as others are or see you because of a fundamental issue with how - and for whom - you experience desire. As a result, the erotic and sexuality along the margins of what is normative, i.e. reproductive cisgender heterosexual missionary sex after marriage, are profoundly radical and embodied manifestations of queer desire: kink, bondage, leather, sadomasochism, casual sex, chemsex, etc. all contribute to this expression of queer intimacy and self actualization.

I know I’m being a little dramatic in the set-up here but it is really difficult to try to explain this inherent outcasthood to straight people. It is such a specific experience that is so untranslatable, and yet it is a feeling that I pick up so strongly in the Like Crazy music video. The remedying of sexuality with the profound alienation that queer people feel up until, very often, a dramatic and self-destructive discovery in young-adulthood, is something that straight/cis people just can’t understand. Leading African queer scholar and (erotic) writer Keguro Macharia writes: 

“what is the taste of loneliness? / salt-bitter-sweet-nothing / after midnight, in cars, in booths in sex shops, in dark bedrooms, in anonymous hotel rooms, encounter after encounter, trading orgasms for ‘hold me’ and ‘let’s cuddle’ ‘if I suck you off, will you cuddle with me’ ‘if I let you fuck me, will you cuddle with me’.”

I’m not knowledgeable on kink culture so I won’t get too into it but I think it’s really interesting how submissive the lyrics come off. What is striking about the way Like Crazy approaches desire that sets it apart from any generic “we found love in this club”-type pop song is its desperate tone rather than one that boasts virility with promises of a “good time.” Instead, Jimin is the one pleading.

Queer loneliness as liberation

“She’s saying, ‘Baby, don’t think about it / There’s not a bad thing here tonight.”

Like Vuong’s poem, Like Crazy could also become a larger question on a heterosexual culture that is increasingly anxious about bodies and touch. The music video can be clocked as having the intention to discuss the erotic - the Robert Mapplethorpe reference is enough to assert this - yet it does so very tamely. Everyone is clothed, no one touches too much, the atmosphere is fun, chill, controlled. Jimin, despite his expressed desperation for closeness and hedonism as told through the lyrics and through his interaction with those at the party, through the careless throwing back of shots, does not find what he needs. The environment is too controlled, too “straight” (as in “proper,” or “innocuous”). He himself does not find any intimacy. He stays at the center of it all, untouched, and not daring to get closer. 

Something that is reflected by a lot of trans theory writers (some whom I’ve read including Paisley Currah and Dean Spade) is that the normalization process in inclusion produces and reproduces ideas on who is and “insider” and who is an “outsider.” I read a bit of Melissa Caroll’s thesis on the political implications of queer loneliness as part of my own (much shorter) thesis. In it she discusses how “straight” culture, through the aforementioned social accounting processes, delimit the realm of the socially accessible, in a process Denise Riley calls loneliness. Caroll says: 

“Currently, any public declaration that “I am lonely” presumes that we are registering this feeling based on what we have been led to believe that loneliness, as a term, means: sad, alone, lacking, in need or want of friends, odd, bizarre, queer, and unhappy.”

Heteronormative abjection of queer and trans modes of being are increasingly reclaimed as constructive and disruptive political strategies. As postmodernist feminist scholar Julia Kristeva writes, abjection is “the place where meaning collapses.” Rejection of inclusion to instead embody abjection and loneliness is another cornerstone of queer self-affirmation that is explored, again, through the erotic and the sexually obscene. The tame nature of the music video, Jimin’s desperation, implies a dissociation from himself and a refusal to face himself. There is an acknowledgement of the futility of his desires for closeness beyond what he is “marked” for, that it will “break” him yet he refuses to be “saved.”

So, regardless of whether Like Crazy truly is an attempt to explore the unique nuances of queer loneliness, it is clear that what it does discuss is struggle against self. The music video depicts not romantic rejection or conflict, but rather an imposed alienation. A self-rejection from an objected self and from a normative way of life. The stained, leather clad hand presumably belonging to Jimin himself dragging him to the party, the knocking away of the camera as a refusal to accept a self or to showcase that “wound,” the interplay between the warm shots of androgyny and desire contrasted with the cool setting of the club. The premise of the music video and its use of a movie itself is a refraction of this longing and abjection in a way; what does it say to attempt to translate a profound feeling of disorientation and loneliness within a normative context through the reference of a romance film featuring a White, conventionally attractive, heterosexual, cisgender, normative couple as a man of colour often read as gender non-conforming? 

TLDR: Whether Like Crazy or FACE globally means to discuss queer loneliness and desire, the way they are ultimately explored and the play on gender and belonging imply a framework that is, intentionally or not, queer. 

[blue-cordial]

OUTER BANKS ACADEMY PART 2- RAFE CAMERON X READER

Chapter 2: Beneath the Surface

The next few days passed in a blur of Shakespearean analysis and clandestine meetings in the library. Y/N and Rafe's partnership flourished as they worked together to dissect the intricacies of Romeo and Juliet. Despite their initial reservations, they found themselves enjoying each other's company, their conversations ranging from literature to life beyond the school's walls.

Outside the library, however, life continued with its usual drama. Rafe's relationship with Odessa was a constant topic of gossip among the student body, their on-again, off-again status fueling speculation about their next move. Meanwhile, Y/N maintained her discreet arrangement with Topper, a handsome and popular boy who shared her preference for keeping their relationship private.

One afternoon, after their English Lit class, Rafe approached Y/N with a curious expression. "Hey, do you have a minute?"

Y/N nodded, closing her textbook. "Of course. What's up?"

Rafe hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I was thinking… since we've been working so well together on the essay, maybe we could grab dinner together sometime? You know, to celebrate finishing the first draft."

Y/N blinked in surprise, caught off guard by the unexpected invitation. "Uh, sure. I guess that could be nice."

Rafe's smile widened, genuine excitement flickering in his eyes. "Great! How about Friday night? There's this new Italian place in town that's supposed to be really good."

Y/N hesitated, glancing down at her notes. "Friday… sounds good. I'll check my schedule and let you know."

As Rafe walked away, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that their partnership was evolving into something more than just a school assignment. She found herself looking forward to their dinner plans, curious to see where this newfound connection might lead.

Friday evening arrived with a sense of anticipation hanging in the air. Y/N stood outside the Italian restaurant, nervously adjusting her dress and wondering if she had made the right decision in agreeing to dinner with Rafe. She spotted him approaching, looking effortlessly handsome in a button-down shirt and jeans.

"Hey," Rafe greeted warmly, offering her a small bouquet of flowers. "I hope you like tulips."

Y/N accepted the flowers with a grateful smile, inhaling their sweet fragrance. "Thank you. They're beautiful."

Over dinner, their conversation flowed easily, ranging from their favorite Shakespeare plays to their aspirations for the future. Y/N discovered that Rafe was more than just the school's golden boy; he was passionate about history and had a keen interest in travel.

"You know," Rafe said earnestly, his gaze meeting hers, "I never expected us to click like this. I thought we'd just be partners for the essay, but I'm glad we got to know each other better."

Y/N felt her cheeks warm slightly at his sincerity. "Yeah, me too. It's been… surprising."

As they walked back to campus later that evening, Y/N couldn't deny the growing attraction she felt towards Rafe. He was unlike anyone she had ever met—charming yet vulnerable, confident yet genuine. She found herself wanting to explore this connection further, despite the complications that their social circles and existing relationships posed.

[edensliterarydiaries]

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. The dangerous pursuit of climbing the social ladder.

The Secret History (SH) is an account of a murder in Hampden College, New England, through the eyes of outsider Richard Papen. A academic life that is similar to Tartt’s own, this novel artistically blends the rational with romantic ideals. However, after reading this stunning narrative, I have to address the title, so many say, it ‘truly deserves’: A Modern Classic. SH can plausibly be classified as a psychological crime novel that is derivative of other writings before it. From Crime and Punishment to Sigmund Freud’s essays, Tartt transforms the ideals of college life and academic study into one of morose horror. The knowledge of characters is greatly outweighed by the clear obsession with academia. From a first person account, we never get to know Papen’s fellow classmates, or the teacher Julian Morrow, on any other level beyond physical appearance. Instead, we become familiar with their love of Greek stories and rituals (only to kill a local man in the process, oops 😬😯).

SH is ‘devoid of character but has plenty of personality… there is nothing good beneath the heavy surface of academia’. -J.Wary, Michigan Daily

The influences of psychology in SH are evident in the difficulty these characters face outside the walls of academia. Papen, seeing hope for a better life in attending Hampden, only comes to observe that his ‘existence was tainted’ in the process and after. Yes, the death of his friend Bunny may have been the catalyst for such a perspective to be drawn. But, can the fact that Morrow insisted that his students have him as their only teacher be the cause for such an outlook too? (You had it coming as soon as you switched your tutor to Morrow as well Papen, we all saw it coming!)

We can see that his ‘morbid longing for the picturesque’ (NY Times) is a parallel to how private colleges are perceived by the common folk. As a ‘idyllic’ as it was on the brochure As the outsider, Papen’s, opportunity to escape the dull reality of Californian life is only met by the Dickensian tradition of financial and societal desperation; a long way from the better life he once dreamed of when coming to Hampden.

The opportunity to entrench yourself in the worlds created by classic literature is something our original five Greek students do persistently. With lots of money behind them, it is easy to get captivated by the romantic fantasy without feeling the consequence. The richest of the five, Henry, states that ‘Death is the mother of beauty… and what is beauty (without) Terror?’. The ideas behind Henry’s speech links back to the passage read by Camilla in the first class together.

In a ‘harsh and low and lovely’ voice, she reads about the ‘dark red and violent-driven rain of bitter savoured blood (that makes the character) glad’.

The repetition of ‘and’ both lengthens the sentence and makes Camilla’s speech creepily seductive. Yet, finishing the passage with a character that is ‘glad’ could be Tartt alluding to the murder later on in the novel. In the mean time, the excitement and vigour stemming from both Henry and Camilla’s imagery is plausibly seen as escapism away from the ‘monkish bare’ windows and ‘whitewashed walls’ of Hampden.

As a former student of the said ‘elite’ school life, time between those tall walls can be reminiscent of prison. Pursuing the idea rehabilitation was in the form of etiquette (often indirectly) and hazing Saturday matches and army training. All of which spat you out into the world with your school plastered on your psyche.

To be a Modern Classic, SH had to focus individuals personal morals and ethical behaviours both in their daily lives and in unusual situations (such as a murder). As a first person account, Tartt avoids this. She only lets us know Papen’s opinion on their physical appearance and any actions they commit. This alone, speeds up the pace of the novel. As Tartt does not stop to give us any background information of these students, especially Henry and Bunny, whose interaction is quite intriguing to Papen.

In contrast to the world of Greek literature, Papen’s description of his fellow students is reminiscent of the contents of a photo album. We see the images of people and know about what they did in life. But, we don’t know them beyond their physical appearance, what they like and dislike for instance.

The replacement of character development with the obsession with Dionysian madness, distances Papen (us as readers), from the original five Greek students. Under the spell of Dionysus’ words, it is plausibly easy for the students to be captivated by the colourful imagery displayed in such books. Especially in the black and white surroundings of Hampden, the classical world created connotes a Baroque undertone that is both captivating and sinister; the latter is more prominent to us than the former.

Can we plausibly see that Tartt is suggesting that literature was a way to escape the daily grind of academic life?

In the end though, it is difficult to see how SH can be a Modern Classic. Yes, Greek literature and elite university settings are visuals that are associated with the adjective ‘classic’. But, the limited character development does make Papen’s account of the events ,leading up to the murder, dry; no conflicting emotions or true feelings about certain events (beyond Papen) revealed in any way. Furthermore, being publishing in the early 90s, SH was released into a world that was in love with murder mysteries and psychological thrillers both in the book and on screen.

It is a product of its time, not a Modern Classic. The latter is used on a piece of work that is going to last and resonate with everyone over centuries. To state it’s a modern Classic would be to compare it against the works of authors from the early to mid 20th century.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (1928), for instance, uses letter writing and indirect and direct dialogues to convey Constance’s character development to us. Through letter writing and talking to specific ‘trusted friends’, we know how difficult her life was becoming with Clifford (the plausible predecessor of Richard Papen!). The main point to take away is that the character development aided the progression of the narrative. It did not lead the reader to express doubts or question anyone’s motives and inner beliefs and it certainly did not leave us to speculate what lead up to certain events.

Anyway, coming back to SH, I can say that it is a psychological crime novel. Tartt does suggest to us that there is more that meets the eye when it comes to elite colleges and the academic world. She also draws a dark shadow over feelings of temptation and ambition, especially in the case of outsiders like Papen.

I would definitely recommend this book for anyone seeking something to read under the bed covers this autumn. If you grow to love it and form opinions about it (like I have) and fancy something more- then watch some crime movies from the 90s! (A good place to start would be The Good Shepherd (2006) and The Skulls 3 (2004).

Hoped you enjoyed this post as much as I did writing it!

See you in the next one!

Yours sincerely,

Eden xxx