#Better Bones AU...ish. kinda

[bonefall]

Herb Guide: Deaf Warriors and Hearing Disabilities

UPDATE 1: Added more harshness to the lipreading section based on initial feedback; minor rewording of some lines!

A reference for Warrior Cats fans creating characters with hearing loss, blending human advice with cat biology, written for an in-universe perspective on living with and managing such disabilities.

AKA Bonefall casts Spell of Stop Being Weird About Snowkit on all amoebas in 500 mile radius

[ID: A headshot of three cats, a brown tabby with a shredded ear (Strikestone), a solid white cat with blue eyes (Stonewing), and a gray cat with a mane (Dovewing).]

In the five Clans, hearing loss is both one of the most common sensory disabilities, and one of the most intense to adapt to. Through any mix of simple infections, birth abnormalities, or even just getting older, any given Clan can expect at least 1 in 4 of its cats to have some form of hearing loss.

Hearing loss is any impaired ability to hear, defined as not being able to hear noises under 20 decibels. Deafness is "profound" hearing loss, which means their hearing STARTS at a noise that is 81 decibels (ex: motorcycle, middle-distant clap of thunder) or louder. Most deaf people can still hear slightly, but sound is "muffled" and they can only hear VERY loud noises.

Hearing loss = Any impaired ability to hear. Normal hearing is 20 DB or lower.

Hard of Hearing (HOH) = Mild to severe hearing loss; starts between 21 DB and 95 DB.

Deaf = Profound hearing loss at 95 DB or higher; a clap of thunder is a quiet whisper.

MOST hearing loss will affect one ear more strongly than the other, and the cat will be HOH. The vast majority of cats with a hearing disability will still be able to understand their Clanmates, if they're just spoken to louder and more clearly. Cats who are born deaf (congenital deafness), however, tend to have profound hearing loss which affects their ability to understand speech.

Cats rely on their hearing and sense of smell much more strongly than they do on their eyesight. With hearing that's 4x more sensitive than a human's and can differentiate between 1/10th of a pitch, a Clan's healer would recognize hearing loss as a disability long before humans would even notice a problem.

Since hearing loss starts with the high-pitch noises that prey makes, like squeaks and chirps, hearing loss is a major reason for a senior warrior to begin to consider retirement. However, with proper support and accommodation, ANY warrior could adapt to this disability; Especially cats born deaf and younger HOH warriors with lots of time to re-learn.

This guide covers;

Common Causes

Traits and Challenges of Hearing Loss

Communication: Signs, lipreading, and more

Unique Challenges Clan-by-Clan

Sources are linked in a separate post, here, and linked again at the very bottom!

(note: this guide doesn't cover devices of any kind, but one of many reasons why cochlear implants are controversial is because an implant will destroy that remaining hearing. They aren't hearing aids; hearing aids amplify sound. Aids and implants are two different things)

Common Causes

There are DOZENS of ways to destroy the incredibly sensitive ears of a cat. ANY infection or injury can lead to permanent damage. That can include,

Injury gone sour, from battle, hunting, accidents, etc

Concussion, or a hard enough blow to the ear

Ear Mites, especially if the cat can't stop scratching it

Swimming in cold or dirty river water

Fungal or bacterial infections

Allergies, which can lead to sinus infections. Even an infection in the mouth or throat can spread to the ear!

There doesn't even need to be an infection. Around the ages of 7 - 11, a senior warrior may begin to gradually lose their hearing. Sometimes, through genetic factors or degenerative disease within the ear, an even younger warrior will lose it for "no reason."

It just happens, and it's incredibly common. They will usually begin to notice it when they stop being able to hear and hunt small rodents, because hearing loss will start with high-pitched noises.

Healers can do very little about this, besides attempting to clean any wax out of the ear canal with flax oil and a dab (such as moss, wool, or cloth). There are SO many ways for it to happen and so little in the way of treatments, that it's practically inevitable.

The majority of hearing loss is from infection or disease, but the most predictable way to see deafness in the Clans is in kits born white with blue eyes. In fact, ALL pure white cats are more prone to being born deaf!

Pure white without blue eyes: 17% to 22%

White with a single blue eye: 40% (and usually on the side of the blue eye)

White with two blue eyes: 65% to 85%

In an afflicted kit, the inner ear will rapidly degenerate. They typically lose most of their hearing by their 4th day, and will only be able to faintly hear extremely loud noises.

Of course, there's also various other birth defects that can result in deaf and HOH kits, even if they aren't white with blue eyes. The ear canal and hearing organs can just not form correctly! Any kit could be born with hearing loss, and they can have any type!

If the loss came from injury or severe infection, chronic pain in the inner ear is also common. Nothing can be done about this besides painkillers such as poppy seeds. This condition is rare in born-deaf cats.

Most cats with hearing loss will also permanently hear a repetitive, single-note sound. For most it's a faint, tinny "ring," but others can hear hissing, crackling, or humming in high or low pitch.

At first, this constant noise can be distracting or even debilitating, preventing them from focusing or sleeping, until... you just get used to it.

There is no way to turn the noise off. It can get worse or better, but it's forever. Sleeping and not being stressed out will help, but over time, they typically learn to tune it out. Being reminded of it is usually annoying, just like when someone reminds you about manual breathing.

(We call this condition tinnitus. It is up to you what you would like your cats to call it, the same way they refer to pneumonia as greencough. Tinnitus is a LOT broader than this little snippet, but this is not a guide about tinnitus, this is about hearing loss)

So to summarize that,

There's a billiondy-million ways to damage one's hearing.

Losing your hearing from age or disease usually results in being hard of hearing (HOH) as opposed to deaf, and is likely to affect one ear more than the other.

It starts with high-pitched noises like rodent squeaks.

Cats born white with blue eyes have a massive chance of being born deaf; their inner ear degenerates.

But, any kit could be born with any type of hearing loss, not just deafness.

Most cats with hearing loss will hear a distracting, repetitive noise. They just learn to tune it out.

Traits and Challenges of Hearing Loss

Hearing impaired cats are LOUD.

Even warriors who have mild hearing loss will often end up speaking much louder so they can hear themselves, or not notice the sounds they're making as they shift around in their nests, scuffle sand at the dirtplace, or trample through crunchy leaf litter.

If one of their ears is better than the other, they'll usually try to stand with their "good side" facing any speakers or other sources of noise. They might appear to be constantly standing at an angle, with their head turned towards the sound. It might be so second nature that they don't realize they're doing it.

Plus, a cat with hearing loss in only one ear will lose their hearing's "distance perception," the ability to pinpoint a sound's location. EXACTLY like how losing the sight in one eye causes the loss of "depth perception," they will have difficulty telling how far away a noise actually is.

Warriors who lose their hearing later in life typically have years of experience in knowing how prey behaves and what sorts of actions make noise; but cats born deaf have to be taught this.

Instead, born-deaf cats tend to associate "sound" with "vibration." Echoes, rumbles, and the sensation of their own humming or laughter can feel very pleasurable. Their whiskers are so sensitive that they can even feel drafts of air from someone speaking in front of them! Because of that, cats with impaired hearing do better with low, rumbling "sounds" rather than high-pitched ones; even when they can't hear either. They can feel lower pitched noises.

(NOTE: Decibels are the measurement of volume, and Hertz are the measurement of pitch. These are different things, NOT interchangeable. HIGH pitch and LOW volume are lost first.)

This is why hunting is so difficult when cats begin to lose their hearing. Their sense of smell and sight can be perfectly intact, but a lot of how a cat hunts is in listening for delicate little sounds and balancing them in both ears to figure out prey's exact location. So, when a cat is learning to hunt without their hearing, they have to rely on their other senses and keep their whiskers low, dusting the ground with their chops and front paws, in hopes of their quarry making a vibration they can feel.

IMPORTANT: Don't forget that cats have carpal whiskers! They are short whiskers on the front paws of a cat, used primarily for "grappling" with other cats and struggling prey. They are less sensitive than facial whiskers, but still very useful for a hearing impaired warrior.

"Dusting," keeping the face low, is still more effective than relying entirely on "Sweeping" movements with the paws.

The younger the cat is, the more time they will have to practice and master this. Cats born deaf, who have never relied on hearing before, are usually better hunters than older warriors learning completely new techniques.

But. Clan cats aren't the only danger in the forest.

A warrior who is deaf or hard-of-hearing will not hear danger approaching, and is easy to sneak up on. Even if they keep themselves completely quiet, an intelligent fox or an enemy warrior can launch an unexpected attack on their unsuspecting target. The wilderness is dangerous, and it's not feasible to keep one's whiskers pressed to the ground at all times, even if vibrations did carry far enough to detect such danger before it's too late.

So, it would be recommended for warriors with hearing loss to not wander too far without a hearing Clanmate capable of alerting them to sounds.

They also will have a VERY difficult time acting as part of a "battalion," in large-scale battles.

In fights with dozens of entangled warriors, while they're focused on fighting the cat in front of them, they will have a hard time hearing commands. Even if well-trained in visual cues like tail signs, deaf and HOH warriors might fail to respond to yowled orders like, "RETREAT" or "SECURE THE ENTRANCE."

Even if the warrior isn't fully deaf, battles are loud and chaotic! It's very likely that such orders would get lost in the clamor of hissing and screeching cats, if the cat has any difficulties with hearing at all.

In summary,

Cats with hearing disabilities are loud.

Hearing loss in one ear will cause the loss of distance perception, and they will often stand at an angle with their good ear facing the noise.

If they were born deaf, they have to learn what makes noise.

Highly tactile, they tend to rely on whisker-sense to "replace" their hearing.

Keeping their facial whiskers low to feel for vibration, "dusting," is a very useful technique.

"Sweeping" with the carpal whiskers is also useful, but less so than "dusting."

They are in increased danger from things sneaking up on them, and shouldn't go anywhere unsafe without a buddy.

Following battle commands in large-scale battles will be difficult or nearly impossible, making them bad "team players."

Communication: Signing, lipreading, and more

(psst! @twiigbranch has a free-to-use version of pawspeak if you credit them!)

Since the majority of these cats lost their ability to hear later in life, most warriors with hearing loss will speak "normally." By "normally," that means they will talk the same way they did their whole lives, just louder so they can hear themselves better.

Over many years, they may begin to stop enunciating their words, 'slurring' their sentences, and their pitch may be a little off. Even then, it's rare that a Clanmate would be able to "tell" they have hearing loss just from their cadence.

But, meanwhile, cats who are born deaf will have a very complicated journey with speech.

It's PIVOTAL for the kit's development that the family and the Clan takes an interest in trying to communicate with them. Deaf children often become isolated from communities that don't seem to care about them, the same way any other alienated child would. This can result in trauma, lack of self-confidence, and behavioral issues.

Even if your project doesn't have Pawspeak (or doesn't have it yet!), kittens WILL find ways to communicate with their family and Clan. Sign language can evolve organically from home signs, unique gestures that will rise for a deaf child to speak with their family. BUT, the sooner they're introduced to a true sign language, the better they will be able to communicate.

Sign languages can also die naturally, simply fading away if the next few generations don't keep them alive. It's possible for the Clans to have gone through a few, over the years!

(Note: Sign languages are full languages, not just "physical versions" of a spoken one. American Sign Language and British Sign Language are from totally different families, even further from each other than English and Russian!)

It is also possible for cats born fully deaf, who have never heard words, to learn how to speak verbally... but, this takes a LOT more time and effort than using a sign language.

Teaching a deaf warrior how to say words is not quick, or easy, and is a very physical process. It involves a lot of dedicated practice time back-and-forth, with the apprentice placing their paw on their mentor's throat to feel their voice, and being coached on how to mimic the exact inflections of every word. It can be very repetitive, and very boring.

Even with lots of training, speakers born deaf have a noticeable "accent." They pronounce consonants better than they do vowels (aeiou), and often lack tone and inflection. Each warrior is an individual, and using a speaking voice is a skill some will be better at using than others.

Lipreading is very difficult. Most warriors born deaf will never learn how to do this, or even want to, as it takes an immense amount of time, effort, and tutoring. It will be more common for cats with more moderate hearing loss, especially if they lost their hearing later in life.

These are REQUIRED for a proper lip reading;

Clear view of the face. If the speaker is too far away, moving around, covers their mouth, stands in a dark place, or has their back turned, their lips can't be read. There are many ways that the view of the face could be obstructed.

Slow, clear speaking. If they're talking too quickly and mumbling their words, it will be extremely difficult to catch all of what they said. A better lip reader will be able to read faster.

Mental awareness. A cat who is tired to exhaustion, unable to focus, or not expecting to be spoken to will not be able to process what's being said. Lipreading is an action that takes brainpower.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: A single speaker, not overlapping with others. Lip reading is nearly useless during clanwide arguments. If there's tons of cats talking over each other, shouting out and interrupting, responding to unseen lips in the crowd, or even if an important speaker is just at a bad angle for the deaf warrior's line of sight to catch, they will not be able to catch everything.

Lipreading is also an action that takes focus. If the cat is tired, unable to concentrate, or isn't expecting to have to read lips, they won't be able to process what words the mouth was forming. It works best one-on-one, in clear lighting, looking straight ahead at the speaker... and even then, the BEST lipreader might only catch 40% to 50% of the words said.

So, it's truly reading. Interpretation. It isn't straightforward like language is. From, "I see a herd of deer, all of them are bucks" they might only catch, "...a... deer... of them... bucks." They will have to guess the meaning based on context!

(Look into a mirror. Quickly chant "Red right wrong" three times. Do you see how similar your lips look to form those words when you're not trying to clearly enunciate them? That's what lipreaders deal with.)

So, while there are other options, a sign language is absolutely the best choice if possible in your setting. Especially for cats who were deaf from birth, sign language is the ideal solution.

VERY IMPORTANT TIPS FOR WRITING A HEARING DISABILITY:

Please avoid them speaking with broken grammar, in third person, or with overly simplistic vocabulary, as if they are a toddler or a caveman. If a deaf cat is taught to speak, they will also learn grammar. BAD: "Examplefur go hunt. Me catch mouse good." OK: "I'm going hunting. I'm good at catching mice."

They will not suddenly "forget" how to speak if they lose their hearing, unless they have another condition such as brain injury.

Lip reading is inferior to signing.

They cannot perfectly catch every single word spoken in all conversations via lipreading, especially when the speaker isn't making an effort to include them, or it's during a disorganized group argument.

In ideal conditions, 30% to 40% of the words spoken will be picked up, and the reader will "fill in" the missing vocab with guesswork.

Teaching a deaf cat to speak verbally is a dedicated process, not something they easily "pick up."

Cats born deaf will almost never pick up lipreading, it is more common in milder forms of hearing loss.

Showing hearing clanmates making an effort to include hearing-impaired warriors, like doing translations or just making sure they understood everything, is massively appreciated.

A good culture around hearing loss is the best thing in the entire world for these cats. Support, respect, and acceptance are sincerely the most important factor in how well a hearing impaired warrior adapts with their disability.

So with that in mind, let's also explore the unique challenges in the terrains and culture of each Clan.

Unique Challenges Clan-by-Clan

Because of the nature of this disability, certain Clans are going to be more difficult for a hearing impaired warrior to function independently in, both in terms of environmental hazards and of culture.

Deaf and HOH warriors will not hear the sounds they're making if they step on noisy terrain or accidentally rustle nearby plants. Some enemies also rely more on stealth to attack their targets than others, and some territories will provide more places for prey and predators to hide. Water-related hazards will naturally cause there to be MORE disabled cats in some Clans more than others, which could mean that there will be less stigma and better community.

Environment means a lot to a cat with hearing loss!

RiverClan

Because this Clan is notorious for swimming in the river, they would have a massively higher rate of hearing loss (and scent loss) than other Clans; ESPECIALLY in late autumn and winter. This also means their healers would be MUCH more experienced with treating ear problems in general; but that's a subject for another guide!

(to answer a stray question before I eventually make that guide: RiverClan can make primitive earplugs out of beeswax to protect their hearing, but may need to trade with ThunderClan to acquire that.)

The important thing to note is that compared to other Clans, RiverClan has the highest rate of having HOH warriors. This means that there would be better support systems for hearing loss than in other Clans, and a cultural "bank" of techniques and knowledge to be shared.

They still have the same proportion of kittens born deaf compared to other Clans, but apprentices without hearing in RiverClan would have a bigger pool (heh!) of mentors who have experience with accommodating their disability.

Plus, you don't need to hear fish to catch them. While they'd still have issues hunting water voles and other wetland-loving rodents, fishers aren't at a significant disadvantage when it comes to providing food to the Clan.

Advantages--

High concentration of cats with similar disabilities provides community, and influences the broader culture to be more accommodating

Healers would have lots of experience with the injuries and illnesses that lead to hearing loss, leading to better treatment

Hearing is not necessary for catching fish, and thus has almost no bearing on how skilled a hunter would be.

Mentors would have better techniques for teaching deaf apprentices

Disadvantages--

Will not hear drowning cats. If you drop into that water you're on your own, bucko

Winter will be even harder than usual, when the river freezes over and fishing becomes more difficult.

Overall, RiverClan is THE best Clan for a deaf cat to be part of.

WindClan

With wide open spaces and lots of hills that offer a good vantage point, sight and vigilance is much more important for survival in a moorland than hearing. There's even an advantage to Pawspeak here; you can communicate from across the open moor without screaming out your location to all the prey!

On top of that, moorland has low-laying vegetation. It isn't a grassland, or filled with splashing water, or covered in crunchy leaf litter. There's not a lot of things TO accidentally make noise on, unless the warrior is trying to hide in a gorse or common heather bush, and WindClan is notorious for relying on speed over stealth anyway.

The one drawback to being a deaf moor-runner is that they will not hear baying hounds. Dogs are extremely common in moorland, either as sheep herders or as companions to human hunters shooting grouses. That said, the fact that hounds are the ONLY big predator they'll need to worry about immediately makes WindClan's moor safer than any woodland territory.

Badgers, boars, and foxes hate open spaces like moorland. It's just dogs that are a big concern, and hawks for smaller cats. There are very few "sneaky" predators in this area; most rely on speed.

So being a moor-runner is one of the best jobs that a warrior with hearing loss could have in the Clans... but the minute that they start to have problems listening to any orders, a tunneler should stop working underground immediately.

Deaf apprentices should be excused from their mandatory tunnel training, except to learn how to do evacuation drills.

There is no light underground. Even if they're capable of creating rushlights or are willing to sacrifice glowworms, that light will be dim at best, and could snuff out at any moment. Communication will become impossible with a deaf cat, and even moderate hearing loss will endanger any warrior who gets separated from their team.

If something as drastic as a cave-in or a flooding happens, they will be in extreme danger. They can't be properly warned unless they're pushed by a fellow digger, and they will not be able to notice anything that isn't rumbling. If they DO end up getting trapped under rubble, they will not hear a rescue party calling their name.

It's not just themselves they have to worry about, either. Not being able to warn or coordinate with their excavation team will put ALL of them in danger.

Advantages--

Moorland requires sharper eyes than ears to begin with.

Lack of ambush predators makes this territory particularly safe without hearing.

Quiet terrain makes sneaking less neccesary in the first place

Pawspeak is especially useful across wide distances

Disadvantages--

Hounds are still a massive danger; they could get very close before they're noticed, if they're upwind.

Will not receive a warning cry in case of any hawks or approaching predators.

Tunneling would be profoundly dangerous with a hearing disability; should be heavily discouraged.

Overall rating is that this is the second best Clan for a cat with hearing loss. RiverClan's sense of community still gives them the top seat imo, but if the attitudes of their Clanmates are good, WindClan's moor is an easy territory to adapt to.

ShadowClan

This one is going to depend on what version of ShadowClan the Erins feel like writing that day, or which one you've chosen for your own project. Do they live in a dry pine forest? Or a wetland?

If you're using the idea that ShadowClan lives in a dry pine forest, especially if your project exists in Britain where spruces, firs, and larches are non-native and thus the territory is a timber plantation, refer to the new growth section in ThunderClan below.

I do not abide by that idea, because Aengus the Prize Winning Hog did not emerge from a cranberry bog for me to disrespect him in this way <3 love ur local wetland <3

(quick note: a swamp is a wooded wetland, a marsh is an open wetland, a bog is acidic, and a fen is neutral/alkaline. Wetland is the general term here.)

Wetlands are rich with soggy ground, muck, and microbe-ridden stillwater. Though ShadowClan cats don't swim for fun, they would end up with more ear infections than most Clans through accidentally falling into the swamp. It's likely that they have the second-highest rate of hearing loss in the 5 Clans, but still significantly below RiverClan.

The lush, thick ferns and reeds provide lots of cover to the notoriously stealthy Clan, but to a warrior who can't hear, this terrain is loud and frustrating. The squish of mud under your paws and the rustle of undergrowth is very hard to adapt to if you can't hear it. ShadowClan's prey of birds, frogs, and water-rodents will respond to any accidental noises by fleeing, quickly, making hunting difficult.

Plus, ShadowClan doesn't rely on one, large, deep, stony body of water like RiverClan does, which seems to be sedimentary rock and open marsh all around. Predators are lurking everywhere in wooded swamps, and could sneak up on a warrior who can't hear them. Foxes, badgers, and boars are a danger in this territory.

All that said; ShadowClan still doesn't seem to rely on just rodents. They eat a lot of amphibians and reptiles, which are not hunted by sound. Most of the techniques they use to catch them can just be taught verbatim to a deaf apprentice, or continue to be used the same way by a warrior who has lost their hearing.

Advantages--

Concentration of warriors with hearing loss from falling into dirty water may provide community and support.

Has a good selection of prey that doesn't rely on listening to be hunted effectively.

Disadvantages--

Swamps, wooded wetlands, are dangerous and attract predators.

Lush foliage and soupy ground make moving quietly difficult for a deaf warrior; but not as difficult as leaf litter.

So, this Clan would be firmly middle-of-the-line in terms of its accessibility to a cat with hearing loss. It would depend a lot on how you plan to approach ShadowClan in your own project; such as if you plan to build out more campbound activities, see them as being social or antisocial with their Clanmates, and what kind of territory you choose for them to have.

SkyClan

As of the time of writing this guide in 2023, when the only decent description of SkyClan's new territory is from a single chapter of Squirrelflight's Hope, it's very difficult to figure out what sorts of terrain challenges a warrior with hearing loss would face at the lake.

Hopefully I can come back and update this later!

But it's most likely is that they have a diverse, varied territory, involving the climbing of steep hills and gorges. Even at the "gorge" territory, a lot of hunting would need to take place outside of the rocky parts of the ravine, in the sparse woodlands and countrysides nearby.

For hunting on sparse woodland, see the advice for ThunderClan. Most hunting in British countrysides is going to look very similar to WindClan's open fields, so refer up there for that.

Because of how close they are to humans, both in the Gorge and at the Lake, it's HIGHLY recommended that warriors with hearing loss avoid twolegplaces. ESPECIALLY towns. Between cars, crowds, and grabbing hands, these places are already dangerous (and sensory hell) for warriors with great hearing, but outright lethal for a hearing impaired cat who won't hear these things coming.

So while the majority of the Clan is jack-of-all-trades and regularly mixes up the particular terrain they hunt in, this is going to be harder for hearing impaired warriors. They have to invent brand new, unique techniques for ALL of these different environments, some of them more difficult than others. Because of that, it will naturally be easiest for a deaf warrior to "specialize" in a particular type of terrain.

This could result in some pretty intense feelings of alienation, as their hearing Clanmates regularly mix what sorts of places they tackle. Without even intending to, they could end up making the warrior feel very left out!

In terms of the culture though, SkyClan seems notoriously accommodating. Between the part-time-kittypet daylight warriors and the way they invented an entirely new mediator role for a cat who didn't enjoy hunting and fighting, it would likely be one of the BEST Clans in terms of supporting a hearing impaired warrior, even in spite of having a "standard" rate of hearing loss since their territory is not particularly wet.

So, it's very likely that they would WANT to fix the fact they've accidentally made their Clanmate excluded, and seek solutions that work for everyone. If any Clan besides RiverClan had a Pawspeak interpreter translating Leafstar's words, it would probably be these guys lmao

Advantages--

Varied terrain means there will be at least a few places that aren't too hard for them to adapt to

Sparse woods, open fields, and even gorges, the three most common terrain types, are at worst decent for a deaf cat to hunt in.

VERY accommodating culture, the absolute best outside of the Clans with a high hearing loss percentage.

Disadvantages--

Generalist training, where every warrior handles vastly different terrain types, will exponentially increase how much training a hearing-impaired warrior must learn.

Being unable to join with their Clanmates in hunting across the entire territory could feel isolating

Rating: Close to top tier, but variable. It's going to depend somewhat on the personality of the warrior. While SkyClan will likely make a big effort to include them, the reality of needing to learn several sets of parallel skills and the way they might feel like an "outsider" for specializing could cause extra distress. Especially for a warrior losing their hearing later in life.

ThunderClan

Because of their collaborative culture and hunting style, described as snobbish and bossy by other Clans, it's very likely that ThunderClan would struggle the most with a specific type of ableism. Since they value group cohesion, it follows they may force Assimilation onto a disabled warrior rather than Accommodation.

As mentioned earlier, Pawspeak is the best thing for the comfort of a deaf warrior... but it might not occur to this Clan to encourage the majority of the Clan to adapt to a minority of warriors.

But it gets worse. Forests are AWFUL terrain to hunt in if you can't hear. Imagine walking in a field with a bunch of invisible landmines, and if you step on one, it broadcasts your EXACT location.

It's difficult to tell if your mouse is running away because you crunched a leaf and made a sound... or because a bird in a tree SAW you and is now raising up an alarm cry. If you can't actually hear what the noise was that scared your lunch away, you might blame yourself for being clumsy as a fox barrels towards you!

When it comes to forests, there are significant differences between an old growth forest and a new growth forest. BOTH of them are going to be extremely difficult for a disabled warrior to adapt to, but old growth is harder.

OLD GROWTH

In both, ground litter is a challenge, but especially so in an old growth British forest. Natural forests there are primarily mixed oak, which drop twigs, leaves, and acorns all over the ground.

These areas are bountiful, productive, and brimming with life. Both in terms of prey and predators. The varied canopy of natural, mixed-age trees allows sunlight to filter through and create an "understorey," providing lots of food and cover to lots of different animals. Unfortunately, foliage is not a deaf warrior's friend.

As previously mentioned, a mix of areas for animals to hide in and a surrounding of rattling plant life is the worst possible combination for a cat who can't hear. Worse, hunting rodents depends massively on hearing them through the leaf litter, thanks to those high-pitched chirps and squeaks which are the first thing to vanish when a cat loses their hearing.

This would be so bad that it's likely ThunderClan "works" its youngest members much harder than its seniors, assigning apprentices and young warriors to significantly more hunting patrols. Since hearing loss is so common that it's practically inevitable, and the security of a Clan allows these wild cats to live to such old ages, it would be "common sense" to ThunderClan to structure things this way.

Old growth patches are practically food pantries for Clan cats, but hearing impaired warriors will have a HELLISH time trying to hunt in them.

NEW GROWTH

When a forest is new and all of the trees in a stand are about the same age, they create a uniform canopy. Like a continuous tent. This means they're so effective at blocking out sunlight that there's virtually no understorey.

No understorey means no food. Or very little food. But it also means no cover. And, usually, significantly less leaf litter. This is because in Britain, most of these types of forests are non-native conifers. Sitka spruce and douglas fir are the two biggest offenders-- and that's significant because nothing here has evolved to EAT the products of those trees.

In ThunderClan, Tallpines is an example of this, but this type of terrain could pop up anywhere that's seen massive destruction.

No understorey to feed prey, no products of the trees which native animals can eat, a silent floor covered in pine needles which offer no hiding places, almost chilling uniformity of the strange trees in evenly-spaced rows...

All of this to say that there's an irony here, that the hearing impaired warrior will be best at hunting in the most barren parts of the forest.

There's much less things to trip up on, or rustle. Prey can be plainly seen out in the open. Gray squirrels are the most significant prey that can utilize these areas, and they DO make a hearty meal for a Clan cat. Additionally, these areas are particularly silent because they're so barren, which might make them seem "creepy" to hearing warriors, but that wouldn't bother a deaf warrior one bit!

Advantages--

Cultural sentiment of "all for one; one for all" may lead to more dedication from the Clan as a whole in connecting to the hearing impaired cat

Which could be a blessing or a curse, depending on the individual warrior's feelings.

Ability to work efficiently in the most barren parts of the forest

Disadvantages--

Cultural emphasis on collaboration in group hunting likely leads to deaf cats being encouraged to adapt to the patrol rather than their own strengths.

May result in more emphasis on teaching lip reading and 'speech therapy,' rather than the adoption or implementation of Pawspeak.

Very difficult to stay quiet in a forest if you can't hear the crunch of leaf litter and twigs.

Lots of cover means random bullshit can spring out from any corner; abundance of ambush predators.

Cover also means there's a lot of places for prey to hide, and hearing can't be used to pinpoint the location.

Lots of rodent prey, which relies on hearing high-pitched noise to catch.

Rating: F MINUS, SEE ME AFTER CLASS. By FAR the worst Clan for a warrior with hearing loss to be part of, for both practical reasons, AND cultural reasons. Awful awful awful, absolutely abysmal, failing grade. Dark Souls for deaf cats

Though remember! This part of the guide is a suggestion. You do not need to include ableism in your own projects if you do not want to, and I hope with the information that you now have, you know how to better avoid it!

"Sources?"

Right this way~

[starry-bi-sky]

a half-ghost--? no- no wait, that's a changeling. that's even worse.

so i'd like to preface this by saying this stems from me going entirely off the rails thinking about tales of the passerine-- which is frankly quite on brand for me to think of one au, and then develop it so far left ways that it makes another au entirely.

bUT. Context! Danny's ancestors sometime before they immigrated to America had a fae marry into the family. This had its Side Effects. Naturally. The Fentonnightengale responsible for this charmed a fae thanks to their swagless nature and awkward demeanor, so instead of getting eaten the fae thought it was cute instead. The fae marrying into the family had an affinity for music, but that kinda repressed itself by accident -- blame the salem witch trials.

By the time Danny is born, the fae blood has become so latent that it really doesn't show up anymore other than the Fentons Eccentricity and obsession with the supernatural (a latent desire to return home to the fae realm - aka infinite realms). There's an unnatural charm surrounding the fenton that really only creeps almost every human within a visual radius, and Danny is no exception.

hoWEVEr. the accident that turned danny into a halfa in one timeline did no such thing in this one -- it just reactivated his latent fae blood, and reactivated it with a fervor. Effectively turning Danny from a human into a changeling.

Danny just thinks at first that he's a half-ghost -- only to realize later on from Clockwork that he's not one at all. He's very much fae -- which is a wild discovery for Danny to make. It also means his rogues are quite a bit more intimidated by him. Fae are above ghosts in the Infinite Realm Creature Hierarchy, no matter how powerful they are. A fae can still Steal the name of a ghost, so Danny's rogues are rather skittish/unsure around Danny until they realize he doesn't know he's a changeling -- after that, many of them vow to try and keep it secret amongst themselves.

Danny's 'ghost' form is rather birdlike, and in human form his appearance warps to match his comfortability. When he's alone with his friends he starts taking on unnatural features. -- his blue-green eyes brighten and his pupils elongate, his teeth sharpen, and his ears grow longer and animal-like. His hair softens to be more feathery, his nails sharpen. In general he takes on more 'bird-ish' features. At school, around his parents, and when he's stressed, tense, or scared, he looks completely human -- an instinctual survival mechanism.

As a ghost, he has large, pretty wings that gradient from black to dark purple-blue, with a shimmer across the feathers that resembles the aurora borealis. His limbs elongate, his legs becoming bird-like and his talons grow on both his feet and nails. His ears vaguely resemble a rabbit's, although they don't flop down like one. All his teeth sharpen. Razor sharp chompers, capable of biting through bone. His eyes take on a greenish-hue, but otherwise remain the same color, albeit his sclera becomes blue-ish and his pupils become diamond-shaped and white. Rings of seafoam blue circle around his iris, creating a reflective sheen. He makes chirping, creaking noises, and when he speaks there's a faint overlap that is very enchanting.

Overall he's rather beautiful in a terrifyingly inhuman way, its hard to take your eyes off him. He has a lot of feathers. He's very drawn to singing and music in general, and gets into music sometime after his accident. He likes flutes/ocarinas/woodwinds the most, followed shortly after by strings, and then piano. He also slowly loses the ability to lie -- which is really annoying and also terrifying until he learns how to reword himself and become a better wordsmith.

SInce this stemmed from an older brother dpdc au, its gonna stay an older brother dpdc au alsfh. i'll just get to the dpxdc part in another post since i wanted to get this off my chest first

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Jan 16th

LINK LIMIT REACHED (please look in replies for more recs ^^)

~*~

1. Hello, looking for fics that discuss or focus around wy being in a different body and yeah kinda just focused around that. thanks!

the soft animal by cafecliche (T, 5k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, the physicality of moving on: the fic, LWJ is the best husband, Podfic Available, (the presence of) MXY, and a whole bunch of Baby Lans)

a better world by ilip13 (G, 1k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Slice of Life, Soft WangXian, mild body dysphoria, Hopeful Ending)

a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (E, 11k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorder Recovery, low angst, Happy Ending, seriously in spite of the tags this fic is very soft, Tender smut, Frottage, Praise Kink, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

2. hopefully something similar to this

thank u!! @/weiwuxianfan34

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

3. Hi, for the next itmf, do you guys have and lwj/wwx/lxc recs? Like with the three of them together in a relationship. It can be cannon era or modern era, I don't really mind either but I would prefer cannon era. Thank you for the help.

our close and kindred ties by exmanhater (E, 41k, WangXianXi, Pregnancy Kink, Incest, almost incest, Post-Canon, Gender Changes, Always a Different Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Riding, Vaginal Fingering, Established Relationship, Situational Incest Only, POV Outsider, Pregnancy, Family Feels, Fluff, Incest Adjacent, Threesome - F/F/M, Relationship Negotiation, (slight) Pregnancy Kink, Kid Fic, Parenting, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Double Penetration, LWJ is a service top, Strap-Ons, Anal Sex, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Restraints, Parenthood) has f!wangxian but otherwise i think it's post-canon-ish setting?

oh we have moved forward in pain by rainbowshoes (E, 47k, WangXianXi, past 3zun, past Niecest, Incest, Post-Betrayal Depression, Severe depressive episodes, Bruises, Bite marks, Consensual sexual injuries, Self harm through sex, self harm ideation, Nightmares, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Excessive Drinking, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Scars, Past Child Abuse, implied ace jc, Explicit Sexual Content, Guilt, Canon-verse version of safe-wording out, Canon-verse version of subdrop, Child Abuse, discussion of death and murder, Discussion of wwx’s first time in the burial mounds, Broken Bones, Starvation, eating corpses, Insecurity not-so-accidental child acquisition, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sort Of, Sibling Incest, mix and mash Mashup of cql verse and novel, anti-lqr)

set my soul alight Series by Skadiseven (E, 42k, WangXianXi, Modern AU, Jadecest, Sibling Incest, Toronto, Halloween Costumes, Halloween, Canada, Jade Xianwich, WWX POV, Power Play, LXC POV, Rough Sex, Intercrural Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Aftercare, Sort Of)

take this weight of mine by soliloqui (E, 84k, WangXianXi, Post-Canon, LXC in Seclusion, Depression, touch starvation, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Canon-Typical Violence, Unreliable Narrator, Dual Cultivation, mild fuck-or-die, Mild Consent Issues, please check end notes of chapter 2 for more information, Sibling Incest, Hurt/Comfort, gentle smut, Healing, demisexual LXC, demisexual lwj, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Protective WWX, lqr's a++ parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒Embers by xantissa (E, 38k, WangXian, XiXian, WangXianXi, Jadecest, Angst, drama, Fluff, Falling In Love, sex pollen trope (curse), dub con, Comfort, Grief, Forgiveness, Happy Ending, Sibling Incest, Switching, Flirting, Learning to live again, Magic, Curses, Everyone is Badass, lwj has a sense of humor, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Threesome - M/M/M, Slow Burn, Angst and Hurt/Comfort)

🔒Magnificent by Anonymous (E, 36k, WangXianXi, Post-Canon, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, Deepthroating, Mutual Masturbation, Nipple Play, Blow Jobs, Jadecest, Light Angst, Past NieLan, Sharing a Bed, Canon Compliant, Top LWJ, Switch LXC, Switch WWX, Spitroasting, Face-Fucking, Come Eating, Snowballing, Facials, Praise Kink, over-stimulation, Ass to Mouth, Intercrural Sex, Laughter During Sex, Rimming, Come as Lube, Magical Healing Cock, i guess, Come play)

给我再去相信的勇气 // the courage to believe by howodd5ever (E, 55k, WangXian, WangXianXi, Threesome - M/M/M, Jadecest, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Undernegotiated Kink, Choking, Spanking, Dom/sub, Rough Sex, dub con but trust me wei ying is into it, Polyamory, Getting Together, First Times, porn with a tiny bit of plot if you squint, Bottom wwx, bratty WWX, Marks, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, mostly cql canon timeline but otherwise franken-canon, angst but not about the poly stuff, Cockwarming, a little rimming as a treat)

Fraternal Fissures by Foregone_Shadow (E, 33k, Jadecest, WangXianXi, Angst with a Happy Ending, Threesome - M/M/M, Dual Cultivation, Healing Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Sibling Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Somnophilia, Reference to relationships between 3zun, POV Alternating, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Tender Sex, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Care and aftercare, Bondage, dom!lwj, Sub!lxc, Top / Bottom Versatile Characters, LWJ is canonically huge, Size Kink, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Light BDSM, Voyeurism, Depression, Dubious Consent, LWJ talks dirty, Marathon Sex, switch!WWX, Lots of bathing, gagging, Blindfolds, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Belly Kink, Orgasm Denial, Prostate Play)

~*~

4. hello! this is an itmf request. i would love:

A) recs on good case fics - i have a soft spot for those that take place during the cloud recesses study arc, but any and all case fic recs welcome :)

B) recs on de-aging/age regression fics - whether wangxian or other characters. thank you thank you! @/potatokunst

4A)

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn) if OP is open to modern AUs

🔒 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, Modern Cultivation, weapons-grade thirst, Getting Back Together, Trying REALLY hard to not still like your Ex, but failing, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Case Fic, LWJ’s canonically big dick, sort of a ‘thirsting for your co-worker ex’ vibe, it eventually gets worked out, Mutual Pining, Guest-starring LWJ’s canonically poor communication choices after romantic cave encounters, novel canon relationship dynamics, basically this fic is about escalating sexual tension)

🔒 Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot   washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, …then sexual intimacy, [Podfic] build me no shrines by flamingwell)

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

there was recently a whole event about casefics! Not all of them are wangxian but a lot are so maybe one will catch your interest

💖 I’d be the one to hold you down (kiss you so hard) by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf & tardigradeschool (E, 85k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, NMJ/LXC, modern, leverage au, canon-typical violence, unhealthy relationships, depression, heists, found family, murder, hurt/comfort, angst w/ happy ending)

🧡 moonlight caught in mutton fat by Raitelzen (T, 45k, WangXian, Case Fic, Curses, Curse Breaking, Transformation, mild body horror, Hurt LWJ, Ghosts)

Your Hand in Mine by cerbykerby (T, 20k, WangXian, Humor, Comedy, Pining, cursed to hold hands, Light Angst, Sharing a Bed, First Dates, Embarrassment, Fluff, bathing together, Canon Compliant)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, m.. maybe??, its not as intense as a kink, Fluff, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication)

this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

4B)

grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Character Study, Post-Canon, podfic available)

home is where we are by halfdemonvash (T, 17k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng are Bad at Communicating, JC & WWX Reconciliation, but only somewhat because these these things take time, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Feels, Hijinks & Shenanigans, accidental baby acquisition but it's actually your older brother, references to wwx's past being homeless, and also his past food insecurity, rated T for jiang cheng's language, and light sexual content in the beginning, Post-Canon, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Junior Trio Shenanigans)

Bringing Up JC by Mikkeneko (T, 31k, JC & WWX, JC & JL JL & WWX, JL & LSZ, Kid Fic, Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff and Angst, anticipate about one part kid cuteness to two parts angst, Reparenting, reliving trauma, unpacking JC's childhood issues, no therapy in the jianghu so this will have to do, Take Care reveal, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, WWX Is Good With Children, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Golden Core Reveal)

🔒 Silver & Gold by beeswaxing (E, 162k, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, fluff & angst, happy ending, fix-it of sorts, family bonding, established relationship, non-sexual intimacy, BAMF WWX, pining, protective WWX)

found your writing on my wall by howodd5ever (T, 25k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, De-aged WWX, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Referenced Child Neglect, discussion of parental loss, child food insecurity, Case Fic, kind of, Nightmares)

🔒suddenly an old song fills my heart with home, my eyes with tears by RoseThorne (T, 724, WangXian, JC & WWX, Curses, Rebirth, Memories, Memory Loss, Age Regression/De-Aging, Recovered Memories, POV Third Person)

~*~

5. Hi, I am looking for fics in the canon-ish setting where characters undergo major injuries or illnesses that disable them but they are still bamf? (Last part added to a FF)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club) WWX loses a leg & continues fighting the SSC with no-one being the wiser

🔒 no new age by everythingispoetry (M, 146k, wangxian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC/JGY, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship) LWJ is left disabled by the 33 lashes punishment, & pushes through it, which I would think qualifies for BAMF status

🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

🔒 a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 120k, wangxian, SL/XXC, JC & JYL & WWX, JYL & LWJ, WWX & WN & WQ, JYL/JZX, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Fall of Lotus Pier, But worse!, Power Imbalance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Everyone Dies AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Loss of Limbs, Chronic Illness, Seizures, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Wēn Remnants Live, Wēn Remnants Deserve Better, WWX Creates a Sect | Yílíng Wèi Sect, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute LWJ, Service Animals, Crows)

Obscuring the Sun by Karmiya (E, 24k, WIP, WangXian, WWX & WN, the sunshot campaign, Past Domestic Abuse)

~*~

6. ITMF a fic where preferably wwx is an amputee but lwj is okay too and I’d also prefer it in modern setting but again cannon timeline is fine as well @/zerokogane

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club) link in #5

🔒some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

Work in Tandem by MimiSpearmint (E, 23k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Single Parent LWJ, when you just want disability-led sword lessons for your child, swordflight instructor!wwx, swordflight instructor!lwj, Fluff, give lwj friends agenda, Protective LWJ, Getting Together, Intercrural Sex, Choking, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Implied off-screen D/s negotiations)

~*~

7. Hey! Do have any recs where wwx never loses his golden core? Like the Just Say Yes series? Could be an au, or anything. Thank you!

Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing)

Until The World Embraces Me Home by azri (T, 5k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJ Has No Golden Core, Role Reversal, Not LXC Friendly, Not JC Friendly, Not cultivation world friendly overall tbh, Sunshot Campaign, Friends to Lovers, Temporary Character Death, WangXian Get a Happy Ending) LZ loses his core but WY keeps his

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX is not adopted by Jiangs, develping friendships, miscommunication, misunderstanding, nightmares, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, slow burn)

~*~

8. Hi, itmf recently completed wips. What's new and good is ready for the binge reading. Thank you! @/best-before-end

pale shadows of forgotten names by Chrononautical (T, 56k, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Good Sibling LXC, Badass LXC, He gets there in the end it just takes a while, Not particularly JGY friendly, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Canon-Typical Behavior, Unresolved Sexual Tension, the universal fear of growing up to become one of your parents, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Except WN but he's very polite, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Imprisonment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, not between wangxian, Drunk LWJ, to lighten the mood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Traumatized WWX, though he will not admit it, Taking time to heal, canon-typical communication skills)

~*~

9. Hello! I am in the mood for a wangxian arranged marriage fanfic. I would prefer a longer story (over 50k words, if possible). It can be canon or even AU. I would like the story to focus not only on the relationship between LZ and WY but also on the politics behind it. It can also be omegaverse. It would be great if their relationship is rocky at first and then becomes better. If there's more fanfics like this, I would be grateful for all of them. Thank you very much. @/broodyelii

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 179k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage) Definitely meets the length criteria, though its been long enough since I last read it that I don't recall how much it went into the politics of the marriage

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

❤️ A Myriad of Blossoms by Itszero (E, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, YLLZ WWX, Hurt LWJ, Cruel wwx, he's cruel until he's not, Protective WWX, Caring WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Dark WWX)

The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

~*~

10. Itmf wangxian fics with WWX in peril (happy ending only please).

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, wangxian, post-canon, outsider pov, BAMF WWX, kidnapping, violence)

❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

~*~

11. I am currently reading "Get it right (mdzs time travel) Series" by AmiraAlzilu (AO3) and now I'm ITMF for a time travel fic where LXC and LQR are specifically called out for their lack of trust in LWJ witness testimony (aka child/elders in the Burial Mounds) and believing a sworn brother over family. Bonus for a) apologies or b) digging a deeper hole aka surely LWJ is mistaken, Meng Yao would never, I'm looking at you chapter 15 to 17 of this fic LXC (yes I'm salty). Bonus bonus for consequences on LXC's loose lips telling things to others he was asked to keep in confidence.... @/mreisse

I'm #11, and you know what? Recs calling out LXC and LQR is also fine :)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) Okay so this isn't a time travel fic, so feel free to disregard, BUT! Does have LXC coming to WWX for help & seeing the truth, & characters calling him tf out on how it took him this long, so requester may still be interested

~*~

12. this is an itmf ask!!

fics where wwx is in his full yiling patriarch glory, I want to see scary yllz, possessive yllz (for lwj ofc) anything. longer fics pls but anything is fine, just no wips please haha!!

🔒hold me fast, fear me not by cicer (M, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fairy Tale Elements, Mpreg, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, YLLZ WWX, brief reference to abortificants, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, may be interpreted as noncon by some)

curse of the dragon emperor by lulu_kitty (E, 96k, WangXian, Dragon AU, Canon Divergence, Mythology References, Identity Porn, Cursed WWX, Trans LWJ, Trans Male Character, Misgendering, Canon-Typical Violence, Gender Dysphoria, gender euphoria, Phoenixes, Dragon WWX, Fox WWX, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Dirty Talk, Submissive LWJ, Trauma, WWX Has PTSD, Minor Character Death, Prince WWX, Emperor WWX, Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Mpreg, Trans Male Pregnancy, Size Difference, Dragonxian has two dicks, YLLZ WWX, technically!, It's more like YLLZ adjacent)

your darkest roads by comefeedtherainn (E, 76k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, non-yunmeng wwx, Kinda, No Golden Core Transfer, Dark WWX, d/s dynamics, No noncon, playing with subverting some tropes/expectations)

~*~

13. I swear the only reason I can still consume Wangxian content daily is because of your recommendations.

There’s a couple fics I’ve been craving for a while and haven’t been able to find any I really love, so any help/ recommendations would be much appreciated!

A) Lan Xichen focused fics. It’s so hard to find fics that centre him.

B) Lan Sizhui focused fics. Mainly him with his dads/ family, but also him remembering his past would be great! Baby or adult A-yuan.

C) Wangxian being parents. Wei Wuxian being single parent. Just them being amazing dad’s content.

I’d appreciate any of these prompts 💞✨💫 @/jinxedjaz

13A)

Chapter 2 of Every Mother's Son by Chrononautical (T, 11k, Madam Lan & WWX, Madam Lan & LWJ, Madam Lan & Lxc, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Madam Lán Leaves Cloud Recesses, Madam Lan rescues women from abusive husbands in feudal Japan and honestly that's so valid of her, mentions of rape/non-con between Madam Lan & QHJ, Give Madam Lan a name of her own, let Madam Lan find out that QHJ died in a fire as a treat, now with bonus Lan Xichen!) chapter 1 is more focused on LWJ and WWX, I recommend both :)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) link in #11

i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, OFC/LXC, minor WangXian, Isekai, Transmigration, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Amateur cartography, Butterfly Effect, Sunshot Campaign, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, Dimension Travel, Politics, LXC the politician, Self-Insert, Foreknowledge, Angst with a Happy Ending) it's SI/OC but heavily features LXC (including some chapters from his POV). also has one of my favorite characterizations of LXC i've seen in fic

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, LXC/SL, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell) as well as most of the works in this series.

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, LXC/SL, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

13B)

When You Wake, 怎能当梦一场 by acertainrogue (T, 39k, WangXian, WWX is in a coma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Modern AU, Single Dad LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Parenthood, YZY's A+ Parenting, JFM's A+ parenting, wangxian family) this is completely from lsz's pov

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

The Living Looked That Day by violettressed (T, 19k, LSZ & WN, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Ritualistic Self-Harm, Mild Gore)

🧡 Lan Sizhui Sees Dead People Series by darkbrokenreaper (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ, JC & LSZ, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, lsz sees dead people, Paranormal)

as i stumble homewards by the_pretzel (T, 27k, wangxian, canonical character death, found family, food issues, trauma, LSZ pov, angst w/ happy ending, fluff) LSZ raised by ghost!WWX

Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, One-Sided ChengXian, One-Sided ChengZhui, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by wwx, Wwx still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC’s Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit) LSZ gets to have a lil revenge, as a treat

Remember, Remember by Izzyaro (Isilarma) (G, 1k, LSZ & WN, LJY & LSZ, Character Study, Post-Canon, Family, Families of Choice, Grief/Mourning, Angry LSZ, LSZ Needs a Hug, not for jc fans, LSZ gets a hug) LSZ remembers a few things, & gets to be angry

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (M, 39k, wangxian, after yiling date, sick child) LSZ is sick for a chunk of this but is still the central character

keeping score by hauntedotamatone (T, 6k, LSZ & WWX, Background WangXian, the opposite of reconciliation, Protective WWX, Duelling, Grief/Mourning, not for jc fans, Swordfighting, Resentment, LSZ centric, No JC & WWX Reconciliation) featuring protective dad WWX

Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics) being a coming-of-age type story as LSZ discovers his past with WWX

13C)

emergent properties by luckymarrow (E, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Family Fluff, Trans Male Character, Trans LWJ, Queer Families, Queer Youth, Adoption, Baby LSZ, Teen MXY, Crossdressing, but not as a kinkgender expression, Dilf4Dilf Wangxian, Penis In Vagina Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, gender euphoria, Cunnilingus)

at no other time by luckymarrow (M, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Queer Families, Queer Youth, Child LSZ, Family Fluff, Non-Explicit Sex, farming, Wangxian Run an Organic Farm as God Intended, Found Family, Families of Choice, Adoption, Trans Male Character, Married WangXian, Established Relationship)

Across the street to another life by danegen (M, 99k, WangXian, Modern AU, unleashed au, Family Fluff, Set in America, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Addiction, Crime, Amnesia, Ableist Language, another fridged mother, POV Alternating, past wwx/ofc, past wwx/omc, Medium parent YZY, A-Yuan is wwx’s biological son, Musicians, Happy Ending) this one also has WangXian being great parents, but it's not the main plot of the story.

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher!lwj, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, [PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

~*~

14. thanks for your hard work admins! itmf darkji fics :) once again, ty!!

~*~

15. Can you please give me all the Fic Recs you can find on A) WWX getting his body back? Post canon. I’m struggling to find them. And also B) post canon reconciliation docs with JC and Jin ling, and/or C) post canon fica where wwx night hunts and gets injured, and nearly dies? And worries everyone. Please and thank you. @/the-daydreamer

15A)

Touch That Body, (It's Not Mine) by brrrrrRawr (T, 3k, WangXian, WWX in WWX's original body, Fluff, Pet Names, Blushing, No Smut, Genius WWX, yunmeng bros reconciliation, endgame lotus pier, big bro wwx rights, also dad wwx rights, BAMF WWX, Bad Writing, Body Dysphoria, So OOC)

15B)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL, [PODFIC] Rotten Work by sakizar) qualifies for both 15B and 15C

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) this fic works for both b and c I think

Imprints by Lisa_Telramor (G, 47k, WangXian, accidental puppy adoption, Humor, Panic Attacks, phobia recovery, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Poor Life Choices, Self-Acceptance, Developing Relationship, fluff with a side of anxiety lol, WWX adopts a puppy, Dogs)

other side of paradise by blueseam (T, 12k, JC & WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Platonic hair-washing, excessive amounts of communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

singing through the dark by twigofwillow (G, 13k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Yunmeng bros reconciliation if you squint, angst with a tiny bit of fluff)

everyone else is spring bound by Lise (T, 18k, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Post-Finale, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Minor WangXian, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, JC Needs a Hug, POV JC, Family Feels, Light Angst, Reconciliation, Awkward Conversations)

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Road trips, rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Conversations, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, [Podfic] some good mistakes by kisahawklin )

an aging wound by Lise (G, 7k, JC & WWX, POV WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Awkward Conversations, Light Angst, but mostly just the awkward conversations, Dysfunctional Family, Post-The Untamed (TV), Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels)

With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending, [Podfic] With Absolute Splendor by kisahawklin, [PODFIC] With Absolute Splendor by Gwogobo)

Jiang Cheng goes Traveling Series by gbuzy12 (G, 11k, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Light Angst Post-Canon, yunmeng bros reconciliation)

Reeds in the Wind by merakily (T, 26k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Rabbit Therapy, Sewing Therapy, PTSD, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC Needs a Hug) 15C)

let the yoke fall from our shoulders by occultings (microcomets) (G, 2k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Character Study, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Happy Ending, Family Feels, Established Relationship)

~*~

16. Any fanfiction about the xicheng ship.

Audience of One by WinterDreams (T, 181k, XiCheng, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Celebrities, Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Singer LXC, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Slow Burn, Family Feels, Family Bonding, past emotional abuse, Post-Betrayal, Venerated Triad Feels, Yunmeng Duo Feels, Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Babysitter Ā-Qìng, Domestic Fluff, SongXiao mentioned relationship, Soft XiCheng, Eventual Happy Ending, implied MingYao)

~*~

17. pls rec some post canon fluff :)

with such a suffering, such a deadly life by cqlorphan (T, 7k, wangxian, post-canon, curses, curse breaking, getting together, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, affection, touch-starved LWJ, LWJ whump, cuddling & snuggling, love confessions)

Continuation by thefaceofno (T, 13k, WangXian, Canon Continuation, wwx builds a lotus pond in cloud recesses, Hair Brushing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, Pining, gay disaster lwj, Post-Canon Fix-It)

Deeper grows my longing by feyburner (T, 4k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, First Kiss, Deeper grows my longing [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[tyuninthemirror]

— better man: c.yj

— pairing: college!yeonjun x fem!reader — genre: fluff-ish, angst-ish — word count: 5018 — disclaimers: university au, reader is soobin's older sister, mentions of food, alcohol, marijuana, smoking and hints of sex. they party here and there. kinda enemies to friends. — synopsis: everything yeonjun ever thought was good suddenly meant nothing because he found something better. — series masterlist

— author's note: slowburn fanfic, it's kinda painful to watch, you've been warned. lmaaaao. debating on whether or not i should write end up here or valentine next. 🤔 (edited 7/22/2024)

"Y/N!" Yeonjun watched from the kitchen window as Soobin dashed across their shared lawn, engulfing you in a hug as you exited the cab.

"Hey, Binnie," you returned the hug, squeezing the taller boy. He helps you get your bags from the cab's trunk and shows you into the house.

"Hey, guys! Y/N's here," Soobin hollered as you got to the entrance. Three boys stepped down the stairs, while another appeared from what you assumed was the kitchen - he had an apron tied around his waist.

"Hello, my name is Y/N, Soobin's older sister," you introduced. "Thanks for allowing me to stay for two weeks."

A chorus of "nice to meet yous" rang through the room. After some small talk with the boys, Soobin led you to his room.

Soobin explained that the seniors had planned a spring break trip, leaving only the younger fraternity members behind at the house.

"Oh, and by the way," he added, "Yeonjun's throwing a party tonight. I thought I'd give you a heads up."

"A party? Looks like I'm in for some local fun," you replied with a playful smile. As a year older than Soobin, you had chosen to study in Japan after high school, making it difficult to spend time with your brother. But this year, during your third year of college, you both decided to spend spring break on his campus.

"If you're not up for it, we can skip the party and go out for dinner instead," Soobin suggested as he unzipped your luggage. He knew parties weren't really your thing.

"Don't worry about me," you assured him, pinching his cheek teasingly. "I want to see you in your natural habitat. You must be breaking hearts everywhere."

Soobin groaned and playfully swatted your hand away. "If I were to break hearts everywhere, you'd probably break my bones."

"You know our parents raised you better than that," you quipped back.

"Yes, yes, I know," Soobin replied with an eye roll. "But that's more Yeonjun's area of expertise."

"Well, as long as he's not out here trying to break yours, that's his problem."

By the time you had finished unpacking in Soobin's room, it was close to 4 pm. While he was in the bathroom taking a shower, he asked you to check if there was anything to eat in the kitchen.

"Sorry to interrupt," you quickly apologize when you see Yeonjun slicing up some limes in the kitchen.

"No worries," he says with a grin.

"Are you getting ready for the party tonight?" you ask, glancing at the assortment of alcoholic drinks on the table.

"Yeah, I made some jello shots earlier. Just finishing up with some garnishes," Yeonjun replies, continuing to chop. You nod in understanding as you walk behind him towards the fridge.

"Do you mind if I check out the fridge?" you inquire, gesturing towards the large gray door.

"Go ahead."

As you open the refrigerator door, a stale odor hits your nose and makes your face crinkle. Looking inside, all you see is a tray of eggs, half a liter of milk, and some wilting carrots begging to be used.

"Are you looking for something to eat?" Yeonjun asks as you close the door. "We don't really cook at home, but we have pizza coming in about two hours."

"I don't think Soobin can wait that long," you mutter, leaning against the counter. You pause, considering what you could make with the ingredients in the fridge. "Do you mind if I cook something?"

Half an hour later, you hear one of the boys shout, "I SMELL FOOD! IS THE PIZZA HERE?" followed by heavy thumping sounds that indicate someone running down the stairs. Kai appears in the kitchen a few seconds later.

"Sorry Kai, no pizza here. Just egg rolls," you chuckle as you cut the rolled-up eggs into bite-sized pieces and arrange them on a tray.

Yeonjun has been watching your every move since you started cooking.

"Is that for us?" the younger boy asks excitedly.

"Go away, Kai. It's for Soobin," Yeonjun shoos him away.

"Don't be mean," you scold, lightly jabbing Yeonjun's side with your elbow. "This is obviously for you too, Kai."

"I thought you were making food for Soobin?" Yeonjun asks, puzzled as you take six forks from the dish rack.

"How is Soobin supposed to eat a dozen eggs worth of egg rolls, Yeonjun?"

"Wow, there's food!" Taehyun exclaims as he comes downstairs when Yeonjun calls the rest of the guys to come eat.

"It's not much, but it's probably a good idea to have something in our stomachs before we start drinking," you explain. You can't help but smile as you watch the boys eagerly dig in.

"This is better than cheap pizza," Beomgyu cries, stuffing another piece into his mouth.

"Thanks, Y/N," said Soobin with the cutest grin. You knew Soobin was lying when he said he wasn't out here breaking people's hearts.

It was almost 2 am, but the party was still in full swing. Yeonjun had an arm around Yeri as he smoked a cigarette on the front porch with his other friends. He figured the other guys had probably locked themselves in Beomgyu's room playing games by now.

"Hey, who's that chick in white?" San's voice rang out in the room, his head turning to point at a figure clad in white entering the living room. "Never seen her on campus before."

Yeonjun's eyes followed his gaze and rested on you as you carried on a conversation with Yuqi from journalism in the other room, oblivious to the attention being drawn towards you

"That's Soobin's sister, Y/N."

"Fuck, Soobin never mentioned having such a hot sister," he muttered under his breath, causing Yeonjun's eyebrow to twitch irritably. He knew how much your brother looked up to you and hearing someone objectify you like this didn't sit well with him.

"I think she's pretty too," Mingi chimed in with a laugh, trying to diffuse the tension.

"But seriously, did Soobin ever mention her?" San continued, ignoring Yeonjun's disapproving look.

"That's not cool, man," Yeonjun finally spoke up, shaking his head at San's remarks.

"You're kidding, right? You said the same thing about Wooyoung's cousin last week," San retorted with a scoff. Yeonjun fell silent at that, knowing that he was right.

"I don't think she's that attractive," Yeri interjected, breaking the awkward pause. She was annoyed by their fixation on an unfamiliar girl. "Besides, she's a nobody. Let's go play beer pong or something."

As Yeonjun opened his eyes, he groaned, the alcohol he had consumed not settling well. He looks over to his left and notices Yeri's bare back. Dehydrated and hungover, he puts on some clothes before heading downstairs.

"Hey, that's not nice," Yeonjun hears someone in the kitchen say.

Scratching his head, he walks towards the kitchen, only to be nearly knocked over by someone he recognizes as one of Yeri's friends dashing out of the kitchen and the front door.

"What was that about?" he asked when he realized it was you in the kitchen. The two bags of groceries sitting on their somewhat dirty counter caught his eye.

"Good morning to you, too," you said, laughing at Yeonjun's bed hair and puffy face. "A friend of yours was trying to sneak off with the unopened whisky bottles."

"No wonder we always run out of alcohol," he mumbled. You washed your hands and watched as Yeonjun searched through cabinets for something. His shoulders sag, and he frowns at you as he holds up an empty box of aspirin.

"Luck is on your side. I picked up a box and some Gatorade," you said as you rummaged through your groceries. "Could you bring some up for Soobin and the others while I make some food? I think they are pretty hungover too."

After passing around aspirin and drinks, Yeonjun returned to his room to find an empty bed. Yeri must have left while he was downstairs, not that he cared.

Yeonjun quickly showered before heading back downstairs to see Soobin and Taehyun setting the table, the aroma of soybean stew filling the house.

"It's time to eat," you announced, bringing out a pot of stew as Huening Kai and Beomgyu followed with bowls of rice and side dishes. There was a strange feeling in the pit of Yeonjun's stomach. They had never really had a proper meal after a night of drinking; usually, he would just drink more to fight off the hangover symptoms.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?" you heard Yeonjun’s voice behind you as you swept up the cigarette buds littering the front door.

Turning around, you saw him standing with his arms crossed and a disapproving look on his face. You could tell he had been watching you while you did chores around the house, and it was starting to annoy him.

"What do you mean?" you asked as you continued sweeping. Yeonjun watched as you gathered the cigarette buds he and his friends had thrown on the floor the night before.

"I thought you were supposed to be on vacation," he said, gesturing towards the scattered cigarette buds. "But here you are, making it seem like Soobin asked you to come here and clean up after us."

His tone was accusatory and it made your eye twitch slightly in irritation. "Yeonjun, I'm just trying to help out," you replied, continuing to sweep as quickly as possible.

"But why? It's not your responsibility," he persisted.

You paused, leaning on the broom and facing Yeonjun directly. "First of all," you coughed and straightened up. "Cleaning is therapeutic for me. And secondly," you continued, meeting his gaze firmly. "I don't appreciate the insinuation that I'm just here to be your maid or something. I'm enjoying my time here with all of you. I'm sorry if I offended you by cleaning up while I'm a guest here. I'll stop after I finish sweeping these up. Cigarettes are gross."

With that, you resumed sweeping, clearing away the last of the cigarette buds from the floor.

"Guys, let's go," Yeonjun called out to the group, lacing up his sneakers. San was hosting a party at his house, and everyone was invited. San was hosting a party at his house and everyone was invited. The boys decided to go, except for you and Soobin who chose to spend the evening at home.

It had been three days since you arrived, and there was still a tense silence between you and Yeonjun after that altercation on the front porch.

"Coming," Beomgyu said as he scrambled to put on his shoes, Taehyun followed closely behind with equal enthusiasm.

"Where is Kai?" Yeonjun inquired, noticing the absence of their youngest member.

"He decided to stay home and play Ticket to Ride with Soobin and Y/N," Taehyun responded nonchalantly.

Yeonjun scoffed, "Lame, staying home for a board game."

"Hey, I was tempted too," Beomgyu admitted. "I'm only coming because I heard Sieun will be at the party."

"And I'm only going because Kai refused to let me be the yellow train car," Taehyun revealed.

"Weirdos," Yeonjun mumbled under his breath, but still unconsciously glanced up the stairs to see if anyone else would join them.

You slowly open your eyes, but all you can see is pitch-black darkness. You check the time on your phone; it's almost 5 am. You turn to your right and see Soobin sleeping peacefully, then glance down to see Huening Kai sprawled out on the floor, hugging a giant plushie.

The three of you had ordered fried chicken and shared a few cans of beer while playing Ticket to Ride before settling in to watch the Avengers before bed. Halfway through the movie, Huening Kai fell asleep, and you didn't have the heart to disturb him.

Carefully sliding out of Soobin's bed so as not to wake him, you quietly make your way past Huening Kai's scattered limbs and head downstairs for a glass of water from the kitchen. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, you try to suppress laughter at the sight of Beomgyu dozing off on the three-seater sofa with Taehyun lying on top of him and one shoe missing. You turn towards the entrance and see Yeonjun sound asleep with his back against the front door.

"It seems like no one made it to their beds," you chuckle to yourself. After finishing your glass of water, you set out some aspirin and a pitcher of water on the coffee table for everyone to take in the morning.

"I'm never drinking again," Beomgyu groaned from the living room sofa when they finally woke up sometime later in the day. "Why didn't you make me stay, Kai?"

"I tried!" Huening Kai defended from across the room.

"Maybe don't drink so much next time," you laugh.

The next few days passed relatively quickly. Soobin took you to a night market near campus one day, and you all went on a hike the next.

You and Yeonjun were on better terms. Soobin and the others knew about the slight tension but chose not to ask.

Despite the awkwardness with Yeonjun, the six of you had gotten closer, even talking about their plans after college and the jobs they wanted to get. There was even a day you spent a couple of hours teaching the boys how to cook.

"I can't believe you're leaving in a week," Soobin grumbled. "I won't be able to see you again until Christmas."

"You could always move to Japan with me," you joked as the six of you ate take-out Chinese food at the dining room table.

"How do you want to spend your last week?" Taehyun asked eagerly, eyes shining with anticipation. Yeonjun's ears perked up, curiosity piqued by the question.

"I'm not sure," you mumbled. "To be honest, I'm chill."

"I heard Hyunjin and his friends are throwing a party tonight.

Anyone up for it?" Beomgyu suggested. "Or maybe we've had enough excitement?"

"Is Hyunjin the blond guy who came with the guy named Felix?" you asked, trying to recall the people you met the night before. "I think Yuqi introduced me to them."

"That's the one," Beomgyu confirmed. "I believe Yuqi will be there tonight. too."

"All right, let's go!"

Yeonjun stood quietly in the corner of the room, his thoughts drifting as he watched you and Yuqi move about the house. The dull thud of music filled his ears, but he was more focused on the two of you. Beside him, Yeri chattered on about something, but he found himself lost in his own thoughts.

Fifth. Yeonjun watched as a fifth guy approached you that night, and it turned out to be Changbin from computer engineering, one of Hyunjin's friends. He frowned as you managed to get Changbin to stop hitting on you and walk away. That was the fifth time you turned someone away that night.

He scanned the room, looking for Soobin, wondering why he wasn't with you to fend off these unwanted suitors.

"Yeonjun? Are you listening?" Yeri groaned in frustration at the boy's lack of response.

"Huh?" Yeonjun replied absentmindedly, finally tearing his gaze away from you. Yeri followed his line of sight and rolled her eyes before storming off.

Feeling restless, Yeonjun decided to head to the kitchen for a drink. As he entered, he spotted Soobin grabbing a beer.

"Hey," Soobin said, nodding to acknowledge Yeonjun's presence.

"Hey, where have you been?"

"Just hanging out in the backyard," Soobin replied nonchalantly, taking a sip of his drink.

Yeonjun couldn't help but blurt out his frustrations about all the guys hitting on you tonight.

"Don't worry about it, she can handle herself," Soobin chuckled, "How about you? I'm surprised you and Yeri haven't gone upstairs yet."

"Didn't feel like it," Yeonjun shrugged as he poured Jack Daniels into his cup before topping it off with Coke.

"Binnie," you cried as you entered the kitchen and noticed the second figure in the room. "Hey, Yeonjun."

"What's the matter?" Soobin asked.

"I'm a little bored; do any of you want to get some ice cream down the road?"

That's how you and Yeonjun ended up three blocks down the road at 11 pm for ice cream.

Soobin initially wanted to join, but when a girl named Tzuyu invited him to play beer pong, he quickly changed his mind and urged you to leave without him.

"Was the party really that boring?" Yeonjun asked as the two of you sat outside the ice cream shop, enjoying your sweet treats.

"Not really, Yuqi was leaving, and I didn't really want to talk to anyone else," you admitted with a small smile. "Thanks for coming along, though. And sorry for dragging you away from the party."

"Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging it off.

"I know it's early, but if it's okay with you, I might head back first," you said as you finished your ice cream. "I know my way back. Just let Soobin know I went home first. I kinda wanna binge some of the new episodes of Brooklyn 99."

Yeonjun paused for a moment. The party tonight wasn't really doing it for him, and he knew it. Maybe because he wasn't drunk yet? He could go back and catch up with Yeri, but that didn't sound like much fun.

"Actually, I'll head back with you if you don't mind rewatching older episodes," Yeonjun grinned. "I'm still watching season two."

It was the first time he had left a party sober since starting college, but being with you seemed like a much better option than staying at the dull party.

"Has anyone seen Yeonjun?" Beomgyu asked as he walked into the living room where Soobin, Taehyun, and Huening Kai sat watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

"Probably in his room or in my room bingeing Brooklyn 99 with Y/N. They've been at it for two days," Soobin answered, eyes never leaving the screen.

"San's been asking where Yeonjun is. Apparently, he missed their house party last night. He even left Hyunjin's party early the other night," Beomgyu added, plopping himself on an empty seat to join their movie marathon. "They thought he left with Yeri, but she was playing strip poker with the other guys."

"Shh, we're trying to watch the movie peacefully," Taehyun hushed.

"Besides, isn't that a good thing? You always complain about how much alcohol he consumes," Soobin continued. "And he only smokes around San's group."

"That's true," Beomgyu sighed.

"Guys, shut up," Taehyun groaned.

Soobin wasn't stupid - he'd like you and Yeonjun to believe he was oblivious, but he wasn't.

Although Soobin and Yeonjun didn't always hang out with the same people, Yeonjun was one of his closest friends, and you were his sister.

Did he mind that you were spending more time with Yeonjun than with him? Just a tad. Was he opposed to it? Not at all.

He thought back to the mornings when Yeonjun would come home from a night out, hungover and drunk, or to the times when he would find Yeonjun high as a kite after spending time with Yeri. Both were a twice a week occurrences, but Yeonjun hadn't been to a party or hung out with San and the others in 3 days.

Soobin had always known his sister was a bit old-fashioned. She wasn't a killjoy or anything, but she did have some more traditional morals and virtues, like when she told him off when he said he wanted to try vaping. She responded, "Why? Because all of your friends are? Would you rather spend your money on food or on air that could harm your health?"

Who would have guessed that someone like his sister could have such a positive impact on Yeonjun?

Soobin knew he had to be supportive whether your relationship with Yeonjun was platonic or blooming into something.

How?

By making you both spend more time together.

"Are they for real?" Yeonjun groaned, scanning the grocery list. "Do they think you're a cooking machine or something?"

You chuckled at Yeonjun's exasperation as the two of you strolled to the nearby grocery store. Earlier, the rest of the boys had left it up to Yeonjun to help with dinner plans, since Soobin had insisted on your cooking. As a result, you were now on a shopping trip with Yeonjun to gather ingredients while the others unvolunteered themselves.

"It's fine," you assured Yeonjun as you reviewed the list. "I enjoy cooking, and there's no one for me to cook for in Japan anyway."

The mention of Japan made Yeonjun go quiet. He and the other boys had grown used to having you around, so talking about your departure felt strange. In recent days, however, you and Yeonjun had been getting along better. Despite your initial impression of him as loud and outgoing, different from yourself and Soobin, you found his personality endearing. And he, too, had come to understand you better over time. He initially saw you as standoffish and judgmental but eventually realized that taking care of others was just your way of showing love.

You and Yeonjun arrive at the supermarket, and you walk ahead while Yeonjun follows behind, pushing the shopping cart.

"Do you know where the flour is?" you asked Yeonjun, but before he could respond, someone called out his name. Yeonjun turned around to see San and Mingi standing at the far end of the aisle.

"Where've you been hiding, Choi Yeonjun?" San asked playfully.

"Clearly busy," added Mingi as he noticed your presence. “Hi!”

"Hi there," you greeted them politely with a small smile. "I'm Y/N."

"I'm San," said San as he reached out to shake your hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," you replied with a tight-lipped smile, noticing a faint scent of cigarette smoke on his clothes that made you feel slightly queasy. You also couldn't help but notice Yeonjun tensing up in the presence of these two boys.

"Wanna go smoke outside?" Mingi asked, gesturing towards the exit.

"Nah, man, we're already late for dinner," Yeonjun responded, motioning for you to continue walking as he turned back to face them.

"We're having a party at our place later, you should come!" San called out after your retreating figures.

The rest of your time in the store was spent in awkward silence without either of you making any small talk, which made you feel uneasy. You wondered why Yeonjun was being so quiet. Did he not want to be seen with you?

"So… do you smoke too?" you asked as you both walked back home, thinking back to your earlier encounter and attempting to start a conversation.

"Yeah, I do. So what?" snapped Yeonjun, catching you off guard with his abrupt response. You had only asked a simple question and didn't expect such a defensive reaction from him.

"I was just curious-"

"What? Are you going to judge me now? Call me disgusting for smoking?" Yeonjun snickered angrily before you could finish your sentence, causing you to freeze in your tracks, hurt by his tone of voice.

"Listen here, jerk, I've never judged you or anyone else!" you spat out. "Just because I don't personally like smoking doesn't mean I'm going to judge others who do! What's wrong with you?"

Yeonjun stood there looking perplexed by your sudden outburst while innocent bystanders hurried past the scene, not wanting to get involved.

"Get your head out of your ass," you spat as you storm pass Yeonjun, eager to get home as soon as possible.

To say Soobin felt guilty would be an understatement. He couldn't fathom what could have happened for the two of you to leave the house in such high spirits and then return without saying a word to each other.

When Yeonjun entered his room, he slammed the door so loudly that the others flinched.

As you hear his door slam, you mutter, "Very mature," under your breath.

That evening, only five people joined for dinner. The food was almost finished cooking when Taehyun informed you that Yeonjun had already left for San's party. You were shocked and confused by the turn of events. It hurt you when you couldn't understand why Yeonjun was angry with you.

The next few days were the same, with you and Yeonjun completely ignoring each other's presence. This was worse than when you first arrived, Soobin thought.

Yeonjun had been going to parties every night for three nights in a row, returning home completely intoxicated and once having the cops take him home.

"Is everything okay?" Soobin was finally able to ask one day while alone in the kitchen with Yeonjun.

Yeonjun looked at his friend as he poured milk into his cornflakes. "What do you mean?"

"You don't look…" Soobin began, unsure of the appropriate words to describe Yeonjun's state. "Well?"

Soobin observed Yeonjun's face, he couldn't help but notice the puffiness around his eyes and the sunken appearance of his cheeks. His bloodshot eyes revealed that he had either been up all night or not getting enough rest.

"Yes, I'm fine," Yeonjun responded through clenched teeth.

"All right," Soobin chuckled nervously. "I'm dropping Y/N off at the airport with Yuqi in a few hours. Let me know if you want me to bring-"

"Is Y/N leaving today?" Yeonjun asked in a panic. His own worries had consumed him so much that he had lost track of time and forgotten about your limited time together.

"Yeah, tonight at 6."

Yeonjun's mind was a battleground of self-torment. He had been meaning to approach you for the last few days, but each time he chickened out, his courage evaporating like mist in the morning sun. Instead, he found himself standing at San's front door, thinking 'I can do it tomorrow'.

He hated it. He hated how time seemed to drag on during these parties, and how alcohol and cigarettes were his only escape from the overwhelming thoughts in his mind. But he hated it all - the hangovers, the smell of smoke on his fingers, and most of all, the way he had snapped at you that night.

He couldn't understand why he lashed out like that; he didn't even enjoy smoking, he only did it to fit in with San and the others. He could have explained this all to you afterwards, so why didn't he? Was it his pride stopping him from opening up? Or was it because he didn't want you to see a different side of him? Did he fear your judgment or rejection if you knew about his struggles with peer pressure? None of it mattered now, as you were leaving and his last memory of you would be him yelling.

"Y/N! Yuqi is here!" Yeonjun hears Beomgyu yell from his closed room. A few seconds later, he hears the door to Soobin's room open, followed by your luggage wheel rolling towards the stairs.

"It's now or never," he mumbled as he stood up and prepared to face you.

While you said your goodbyes, Soobin and Yuqi were sorting through your luggage in her car. You and Yuqi formed a good friendship over the last few days, even making plans together.

"I'm going to miss you all a lot," you frown as Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai stand in front of you, bidding you farewell. You can't help but be bothered by the lack of presence of a particular boy.

One by one, you draw them into a hug. Having a few more little brothers for a few weeks was nice.

"Aww, don't be too upset," Taehyun consoled. "We'll see you in a-"

"Y/N!" you heard Yeonjun's voice call out, cutting Taehyun off. You turn around to see him rushing out the front door. "I need to talk to you."

The three younger boys take it as their cue, bidding you farewell one last time before heading back inside.

"I was beginning to think you were avoiding me," you chuckled, though your laughter sounded strained and forced. Yeonjun couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh at your attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry," Yeonjun finally spoke, his voice heavy with guilt. "I've been rude and unfair to you."

You waved a hand dismissively. "Hey, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm sure I said something that upset you at some point."

"Quite the opposite," Yeonjun mumbled under his breath, his eyes downcast. "I've been more mad at myself than anything else."

Confusion filled your mind as you tried to make sense of his words. "What are you on about?"

"I just don't want you to think badly of me, okay?" Yeonjun blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation. "I didn't want you to think less of me."

Your heart softened as you saw the vulnerability in his eyes.

"Yeonjun," you said with a soft smile, reaching out to take his shaking hands in yours. "I would never think badly of you. Plus, a lesser man wouldn't have admitted this to me. You need to give yourself a bit more credit."

A relieved sigh escaped Yeonjun's lips upon hearing your response. Of course, you would say something so reassuring. Despite being the same age as him, you always seemed so much more mature and understanding.

"Y/N, we've got to get going!!!" Yuqi yells from her car. "You'll see everyone in a year!"

"A year?" Yeonjun muttered, surprised by Yuqi's words.

"Yeah, Yuqi somehow convinced me to take my master's here because we're both in the same degree," you laughed. "Besides, did you think you'd be able to get rid of me so easily?"

Yeonjun joins in on your laughter and pulls you in for a warm hug. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret for the past few days.

"I promise I'll be a better man when we meet again."

A small smile plays on your lips, "I'll be holding onto that promise. See you soon, Choi Yeonjun."

[millylotus]

Im like a week late for the WIP ask game but whats #6 The Phantomhive Legacy

👀

ehehehehe >:> yeeessss, i have been wanting to speak on the Phantomhives!

Okay so base thing this is a Black Butler AU, that just assumes Sebastian let Ciel live for awhile & that Elizabeth & Ciel [who are engaged in canon] are NOT cousins, cause honestly it makes no sense to me & it's rarely ever talked about in fandom & it's not needed for cannon to even make sense, it's just a thing the author put in [the author does that alot, would not suggest BB for the faint of heart, that shits heavy]

ANYWAY onto the au!

So essentially Ciel & Lizzie grow up to have kids & those kids are so much fun!

Family tree for more specific stuff I suggest looking at it! it has some more lore for the au written in it

Ciel & Lizzie grow up & have kids & those kids are intresting

The First & Second Born Children "The Twins"

Born May 23rd, 1898

Violet Angelica “Viola” “Vivi” Phantomhive

Inheritor of the Royal Dog Title Named after Vincent Phantomhive & Angelina Dalles-Burnett Viola looks most like their mother, with black hair & Midford green eyes, she’s just a tad taller than Frenchie & is very smug about not being the shortest, but still doesn’t like that the boys are taller. Vivi is more introverted compared to her sisters, being a sly & manipulative person like Vincent but when with those she trusts she’s a goofy & fun person

Franchesca Leona “Chesca” “Frenchie” Phantomhive

Inheritor of Funtom Toy Corparation Named after Francis & Alexis Leon Midford Frenchie looks like their granpa Vincent, with red-ish blonde hair & blue eyes, only slightly shorter than Vivi & Theo & absolutely hates it, but is glad to not be as short as Chelle Chesca has been compared to Madame Red with her loud sociable & fun personality, though she’s a business woman down to her bone & can be very cold & calculating

Named after Francis & Alexis Leon Midford Inheritor of Funtom Toy Corp

Ciel was scared out of his mind when they found out Elizabeth would be having twins, he didn’t want one of his kids feeling like he did as a child. Lizzie of course saw his distress & promised him that the children would not be subjected to such things. Vivi & Chesca coincidentally look nothing alike.

Their obvious differences brought Ciel some calm, Lizzie was so happy to have had a safe pregnancy mostly, Rachel had multiple complications with Ciel & his brother.

4yrs Later...

Vivi & Chesca coincidentally look nothing alike

The Third & Middle Child

Born Aug 31st, 1902

Alexander Rachel “Alex” “Lexie” Phantomhive

Awarded Medical Doctor Named after Alexis Leon Midford & Rachel Phantomhive Alex was born with dark red-ish black hair & blue eyes & looks like a mix of his parents, while also being ridiculously tall in comparison to his siblings, sometimes lords his height. Alex like Vivi is introverted & is generally kinda depressing person, being rather clumsy with his gangly tall proportions, he’s just as sarcastic as his father though.

Their third child was just as planned, they both grew up with only one older sibling & no one else, & thought it would be a better idea to have at least one or two more children to the give twins less feeling of competition.

There weren’t many complications with Alex’s birth, though he was born a bit later then had been expected.

2yrs Later...

The Youngest Daughter & Fourth Child

Born Dec 25th, 1904

Emily Michelle “Emmie” “Chelle” Phantomhive

Knight under the Midford Family Named after Doctor Sullivan & Sebastian Michaelis Emmie has black hair & green eyes & looks almost exactly like their granny Rachel & great-auntie Angelina, she’s also the shortest of the siblings & absolutely peeved about it just like Ciel. Emmie is loud like Frenchie though is more awkward & kind of stiff with new people, but the moment she’s comfortable she’s loud & proud, & is very passionate about swords & is a kind girl.

Their fourth child, Emmie, was a tiny bit of an accident after they thought they where done at Alex, but they love her just as much.

Chelle was born rather healthy compared to her other siblings & was doted on a lot until Eddie was born.

1yr Later...

The Youngest Son & Fifth Child

Born May 15th, 1906

Edmund Theoderich “Eddie” “Theo” Phantomhive

Famous Spoiled Socialite Named after Edward Midford & Dierdrich Abt Eddie has blonde hair & brown eyes like his granny Rachel, & looks a lot like granpa Vincent & their uncle Edward, 2nd tallest of the siblings & smug about it. Eddie is pretty relaxed & coy like his father Ciel, though far more sociable to the point where he’s also compared to Madame Red like Chesca, he kind of acts like a spoiled brat annoyingly.

After Emmie was born Lizzie & Ciel where hit with baby fever again & had Eddie shortly after Emmie.

Eddie was unfortunately born kind of early & almost didn’t make it & developed asthma like Ciel they kind of babied him because of it.

The siblings all get along rather well, their parents made sure of it, the kids do have wildly differing personalities of course.

Born May 23rd, 1898

[electricbluebutterflies]

Helnik + meeting the “family” (crows found family vibes…)

Or, in which none of the Crows actually want to go ice skating but Nina is Like That. Pretty sure I've never written the other babes before so fingers crossed my characterization is okay? Modern AU, PG-ish, also on ao3.

There are only so many ways this could go wrong. Matthias is pretty sure he’s about to find all of them.

Nina had seemed like a minor miracle when they met a few months ago, which is objectively a weird thing to say about someone who accidentally ran over his foot with her moped but at least it was an accident and she decided that was enough reason to insert herself into his life on some vague justification that two broken bones meant she owed him a bunch of favors and… honestly he’s not sure how that turned into a sorta relationship where they make out on his couch a lot but haven’t discussed feelings, but it did. And one of the perks, if he’s honest with himself, is that there is no intimidating family on her side to eventually meet.

Or, well, not one she’s related to by blood or legal technicalities. That may make this worse.

What Nina has, instead of a more traditional family-of-origin situation, is a squad of misfits who… as Matthias understands the situation, and it was a little hard to focus given she thought this was an okay conversation to have while both of them were minimally clothed, had originally formed without her and dragged her into the fold during a brief time she worked with one of them. The former coworker, the way Nina tells it, is all the people skills of the group; the other two are harder to socialize and can’t figure out the concept of mutual pining, and-

Point being, Matthias has heard too many stories about these people to not want to meet them, and it was at least partially his idea, something something it would be nice for all of the main elements of Nina’s life to integrate and he’s not trying to claim space that isn’t his but if her friends are going to hate him he’d like to know now, and-

Nina, enthusiastic disaster that she is, decided ice skating would be a low-pressure activity. Nina will somehow not get blamed for any of this. He’d hate her if he wasn’t falling in love with her.

He gets there early and isn’t totally sure what he’s keeping an eye out for – Nina herself runs perpetually ten minutes late for everything, and trying to get adequate physical descriptions of her friends out of her was a losing battle, she wasn’t even sure how many people were along for the ride here and-

After what seems like half a lifetime but is really more like five minutes, a couple who look around his age approaches – holding hands, Matthias points out in his mind, trying to judge anyone else’s relationship status is mean and he’s trying to do better but these two are obviously a thing – and he vaguely remembers Nina saying something about one of her people having a flamboyant fashion sense and-

“Matthias, yeah?” the one who lines up with that description says. The aesthetic is glam-rock meets steampunk and Matthias is honestly not sure how anyone can look at themselves in a mirror and still go outside in that many colors at once, but somehow it’s working, and-

“Yeah. I didn’t catch names, Nina was kinda…”

“Trying to protect you from us. Or us from you, I’m not sure-“

“Jes-“ the presumed boyfriend says, and this one has kicked-puppy energy and Matthias may already have a favorite in the group even though he hasn’t met the others yet and-

“Yeah, sorry. I’m Jesper, this is Wylan, Kaz and Inej are probably fighting in her car right now and-“

“Sounds fun,” Matthias mutters, wondering what he’s gotten himself into. His own social circle is limited, to put it politely; he didn’t go back home after his stint in the military, and he has a dog and who needs more than that, and-

“They’re great, really, but I think Nina picked this activity to torture them and nobody can say no to her so…”

“I’ve noticed.”

“She showed us the antlers she put on your dog. Even animals aren’t immune.”

Matthias likes this part of the group, he decides. Jesper doesn’t seem able to shut up and the idea of him and Nina in the same space given their overlapping tendencies… this one is the former coworker, Matthias figures out without asking, and a rambling story about the people one encounters while tending bar on major holidays confirms it, and-

Nina herself is the next to show up, looking gorgeous as ever and yeah Matthias is developing feelings alright, and she’s not subtle with the PDA and he’d let her do anything, and-

“Did our cryptids bail on us?” she asks, turning her attention to Jesper. “Or are they…”

“Always safer not to know. If they’re late, there’s reasons.”

Nina gives the rest of the group an annoyed look. “Is this even an okay activity for… I should’ve asked, I really should’ve-“

“They’re going to be clinging to each other anyways. And probably the wall. I’m not worried. If they even show up.”

“How damn hard is it to text people, I swear to-“

Her voice cuts off as Jesper switches back into an even louder mode of enthusiasm, waving to someone in the distance. Matthias turns and sees what must be the missing people approaching, this duo a little harder to read as a couple but there’s definitely some kind of connection going on there, and he’s left standing still while Nina and Jesper decide to meet their other friends halfway, him and the stray boyfriend and-

“How long have you been involved in this…”

“Close to a year,” Wylan shrugs. “And I’m not used to all of them at once either.”

“Is that supposed to be reassuring?”

“Some families are hard to integrate into. I don’t know. You’re here. That’s at least a chance.”

A chance for what, Matthias isn’t sure, but-

The other two – Kaz and Inej, he reminds himself, attaching names – join the circle and both seem to eye him like prey, eyes searching separately for weakness. Matthias isn’t scared of them, exactly, but he feels like he should be, and-

“So you’re the one Nina tried to kill?” Inej asks, and there’s something almost playful in her voice that he can’t place.

“She ran over my foot. Total accident.”

“Welcome. I wouldn’t say we require scars, but…”

“Nina hasn’t brought any of her flings into the fray,” Kaz adds, decidedly more guarded. “First time for everything. If we all survive this.”

“There are only so many places I can take you people in December,” Nina points out, arms crossed under her chest in a way that is just unfair in public. “None of us have ever gotten kicked out of a pop-up ice rink, so I thought…”

“First time for everything,” Kaz repeats. “Now, are we doing this or not?”

Matthias would like to think he has an advantage over the rest of the group – he grew up in that part of Minnesota, played hockey in high school and everything – and sure enough, even though it’s been a few years since he’s been on skates, he’s still at least decent. Nina is anything but, and she clings to him in a way that even he can justify because otherwise she’ll hit the ground every thirty seconds, but she’s clearly enjoying herself. The others…

Matthias doesn’t know them yet. It may be years before he feels like he knows them. He wants that time. He wants to see what they’re all like in a more comfortable environment – it is made clear that none of them thought this outing was a good idea, with the possible exception of poor Wylan who apparently has some boundary issues and a need for attention that the others are trying to help him minimize and live beyond – and maybe next time they’ll get that. Maybe next time…

“Having fun?” Nina asks after a while, leaning up to kiss Matthias’s cheek.

“Yeah. I am.”

“They like you.”

“You sure?”

“It’s been half an hour and no one’s threatened you yet. They like you.”

“Next time we should do something where we can bring Sigyn.”

“Do you really want my friends around your dog?”

“Who can say no to her?”

Nina smiles, and she glows sometimes and it’s captivating. “No wonder I get along with her, we’re so similar…”

“You’re cuter,” Matthias says, kissing the top of her head.

“I’ve been compared to worse. And she is a winter dog…”

“Next time it snows we could do… something. All of us.”

“I can’t believe it, you’re actually suggesting activities that involve other people, I have corrupted you.”

“Just a little.”

If this is what he’s gotten into, he thinks, maybe they’ll be okay.

[hotcocoandmarshmallows]

I posted 3,241 times in 2022

157 posts created (5%)

3,084 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@oojamaflip-whatchamacallit

@umbral-executor

@avez-vous-le-fesse

@theriverstyxx

@hummingbird-hooligan

I tagged 1,602 of my posts in 2022

#dsmp - 47 posts

#jackson rambles - 31 posts

#yeah - 15 posts

#dream smp - 14 posts

#unreality - 11 posts

#toh spoilers - 10 posts

#goncharov - 9 posts

#i mean - 8 posts

#stranger things - 7 posts

#minecraft - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i straight up didn't identify with it and i identified way way more with masculinity and being seen as a man and using he/him pronouns made-

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

First impressions of Underworks binders:

Very tight, I get a lot more compression out of it than I did with my gc2b binders when they were brand new

Kinda difficult to breath in, I see what people mean now when they say it can get kinda hard to breath in your binder

Goes down past my hips

I don’t feel like my breasts will move very much? It’s definetly something I would wear a thin tank top under to protect my skin but my tits were not moving

Overall, achieved what I wanted. I’d heard that Underworks binders work better for people with bigger chests, and I decided to experiment because I need new binders. Definitely keeping my gc2b binders for travel and comfort, but my Underworks binders are probably going to be my day to day.

29 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#4

Why is ‘Turning Red’ somehow the most accurate depiction of 13 year olds I’ve seen

30 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#3

For any and all 'empty 100-ish year old subway station' needs

44 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#2

C! Karlnapity is really two tiny murderous lil dudes with Issues™ and the one who can reach the top of shelves

48 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A short lil thing for dessert duo in an Indiana Jones AU, with Double Life mechanics lol. Warnings for a broken bone, but nothing else

__________________

Grian was minding his own bloody business when his rib cracked.

He doubled over, books and papers spilling out of his hands with a strangled "SCAR!!"

There was no secondary explanation. Scar had, obviously, started some new dumb adventure in the time between breakfast that morning and when he was meant to be coming home. And as per usual, he'd gotten hurt. And also as per usual, he'd forgotten his soulmate at home.

He picked himself back up, hissing at the pain. It was a good thing he kept healing potions stashed about the house for exactly this (very common) scenario. And then it was to the maps and his usual contacts to track him down. As per usual.

He sat down in his chair and grabbed the potion he'd tucked under the table. Jellie jumped up as he drank it, wincing as the rib set itself back into place. He gave the cat a very exasperated look. "Are you as tired of this as I am?"

Jellie blinked at him, slow and deliberate. She reached out a paw, oh so delicately. And she slammed it, claws out, on one of his maps.

He peered around her paw. "Of course he's in Siberia." He mumbled to himself. Jellie had a built in compass to where Scar was, or something similar, because she hadn't been wrong in the entire time he'd known the two of them. And Scar tore off by himself more times than Grian liked to think about.

He stood up. "Best get packing, eh?" He asked, almost bemused. "I wonder who's chasing him this time.

69 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[visd3stele]

Hey love! Hope you're well!

Idk if you take requests but I was wondering if you could do an arranged marriage trope with Sirius Black (non voldy au ofc)

Completely understand if you don't wanna write it, have a great day!

I certainly can and I definitely will, anony

Thank you for requesting and THANK YOU for the kind words. I hope you have the best of times! xoxo

tw: implication of child abuse, past trauma + its triggers discussed briefly, 2 knives and a bleeding cut (ritualic, non violent), non sexual half-nudity(?), alcohol (drinkers are of age), a sexist comment (that is reprimanded quickly by anogher character), one smoking scene, both Sirius and reader are of age to be married, kinda enemies to lovers,

- I really wish you like it <3

~ sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience. I hope I made it worthy of it

I'm nervous because it's pretty unconventional, but here we go:

The Abc of magic folks for marriage

(sorry, couldn't decide which suit screams after Hogwarts, no Azkaban Sirius getting married better. Thoughts?)

masterlist and requests

A/N: a collection of short-ish drabbles about y/n and Sirius' marriage, not in chronological order

°•���︎~▪︎•°

Anouncement

Sirius Orion Black, the most wanted bachelor, you read the title and roll your eyes. "Perfect. Exactly what his ego needs," you say annoyed. "A whole article about himself. And on the first page too! Absolutely horrendous."

Next to you, your good friend since Hogwarts chuckles, erupting in a burst of laughs when you shoot her a glare. "Not funny, y/fr/n," you hissed.

"Oh, come on, y/n. It is a bit funny. You're making a fuss out of petty entertainment." At your lack of reply, she continues. "Besides, you do have to admit he's positively lush." And with that she picks up one of the many papers that have Sirius' face printed on their front pages.

Your friend keeps walking so you throw a Knuts at the man behind the counter and hurry to catch up. "Blimey!" She says so loud she startles you.

"Merlin's sake, y/fr/n, what?"

"Oh, this is gold. This is so gold." She carries on, pointedly ignoring your questioning looks. In between grins and giggles, she breaths out a "no way," every now and then.

"Alright, this is getting too far. What's so good about that stupid article?" You snatch the paper from her, moving your eyes quickly over the columns of letters. The journalist must have been a new one, the pacing is too thrilled, begging for attention. But that's not what made your nosetrils flare, mouth hanging open and muscles flexing and pulsing with disdain. The subject debated on for two bloody pages, was rather the Black family signing a marriage deal with your family was a good call or not. A marriage deal, for you and Sirius Black. A shiver ran through your bones. You knew your parents were in deep talks with the Blacks, but you assumed they'd let you know first. Or at least give you a heads up before making it public.

"Y/n? You good?"

"Yes, of course. Brilliant, even." You snaped, gritting your teeth together.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Somewhere in muggle London, a young man walked aimlessly under the raining sky. His denim jacket soaked, his socks splashing every time he stepped, his hair laying damp on his scalp. But Sirius didn't care. He kept walking, his pace quickening or slowing depending on the tone of his internal debate.

Just that morning Sirius Black found out he is to be a married wizard in less than a month. His to be spouse? No other than y/n y/l/n. The stucked up posh who never missed a chance to get the marauders in troubles over a silly, funny prank. The very one who never fell for his charms when pursuited. And the same person who made a fool out of himself by pretending to date him and then mocking him just to prove a point.

Of course, Sirius was no saint, he could admit it. There are certain things he sees better now, understand how exagerated they were. But accepting his past mistakes does not, under any circumstances mean he'd be happy living with that, that... pillock!

But, of course, his family wouldn't hear of it. The y/l/ns are, after all, powerful, wealthy and influencial people. It'd do good to have them in the mix. And, as the heir of the house, such ordeals were his burden to carry. Whoever invented politics could crisp in hell, Sirius thought, just when one of those muggle weird inventions drove through a muddy pond and splashed him.

"Perfect," Sirius muttered to himself. "Now this day can't get any worse." He stated, trying to clean himself up – not without difficulty as the streets were filled with muggles who couldn't see him wave a wand and dry himself and the long hair kept attacking his blazing silver eyes.

Bachelor

The salon was quiet. Backround music carrying the tune of light chattery and phony laughs. Stuffed with the entirety of the wizarding elite from all over the world parading around the room, flaunting their neat robes and expensive jewels, using the gathering as an opportunity to form new alliances or strengthen the old ones, the large room suddenly became suffocating.

You found your refugee near the closed door leading to the terrace, needing to escape all the congratulations from the elder people and jealous glares from the youths. You were also trying very hard to avoid a certain tall, raven haired, grey eyed wizard. The party was thrown for both of you, to honor your past lives and celebrate the approaching engagement. Tomorrow. If you had to be tied to Sirius Black for the rest of your days, you'd rather have one more evening free of him.

You pondered seeking your friends, but you escapes them minutes ago for a reason. They all seemed so happy for you, enjoying themselves at the party... you didn't want to ruin their time. Besides, you had quite the talk with your parents, reminding you to not act out when so close of success. Of course, you always knew this day would come. As the future of your House it was your job to secure the best alliances by any means available. And marrying the heir of the House of Black was the best move you could play into. Besides, your parents wouldn't just throw you off to a wretched man. They researched Sirius, checked carefully for signs against him. And come out with nothing, the sole problem being his itching presence, pushing all your buttons.

You couldn't stand his voices, especially when denying his upbringing and talking like a commoner. You dreaded when he'd open his mouth only to speak a snarky comment or make a side joke. Because, of course, he can't waste one precious second of his time to be serious. And the sarcastic answers he gave to teachers or people who confronted him on a regular... argh! Even thinking about it heated you up with anger. The sight of him alone could send you on a rampage. With his superior smirk as if he owned the place, the bored eye roll, the casual leaning on his friends or really any people whom he came in contact with. Not to mention how irresponsably Sirius constantly plays with his wand: throwing it upwards, letting it flip in the air and catching it only to start again.

"I need some air," you said to no one in particular, just in case someone would be looking for you. But upon exciting the building and dragging your steps in the garden, you saw no other than Sirius Black, poised still as a statue under a dogwood tree. He wore his leather jacket against the cold, but the sleeves were rolled up 'til under his elbows and you could see the perked skin. Underneath, his elegant robes proudly stood out, ironed to perfection and embroidered with his family's crest, the motto and, of course, the slytherin snake (though someone added a clumsy lion next to it).

Sirius' face never moved from the starry sky. If his abdomen didn't rise and relax periodically to signal his vitality, you'd have assumed him a statue, a new addition to the backyard. "I know I'm irresistable, but are y'goin' to stare all night?"

"Sure. Wouldn't want to miss the exact moment you turn into ice," you bite back.

"Didn't know you cared," Sirius cooed mockingly. "So nice of you, chertè."

"I don't. It'd just be satisfying to watch you freeze."

"Auch," Sirius finally turned to look at you, a hand shooting up to clunch his chest. "You've hurt me, y/n."

"I doubt it. Nothing I say can pass that thick ego of yours."

His eyes dropped to the ground for just one second before turning his gaze back to the night's horizont. Completely ignoring you. Sirius looked deeply in thought and for the first time you furrowed your brows at him in concern, not annoyance. Before you could change your mind, you asked "Why are you here alone? There are dozens of adoring witches and wizards wanting to gawk at you while they still can."

"Thanks, but no. I'm fine'ere, by myself, where I don't have to cater to anyone's expectations." He spitted, enough judgement in his voice to silence even the rustle of leaves for a few seconds.

You took it as a sign to leave him be, but later that night you learned that a group of wild, loud gryffindors disturbed the peaceful streets and Sirius' absence was noticed by one too many guests. It seems the heir of Black had a proper muggle bachelor party.

Cake testing

Normally, a whole day of eating sweets for free would be a dream come true for you. But of course the reality cut the joy off it. You were in your favorite cake shop in Diagon Alley, your mother excitingly pointing assortment after assortment of different colored cakes. Some were glazing pink with strawberry cream, others were dressed in caramel and chocolate. And the baker made sure to you had a taste of each.

Maybe you could have ignored the reason you did all that, if not for Walburga Black's and her son's presence. The older witch kept denying your every choice. The one layered cake was too simple, the cherry filling one was not sweet enough, the three types of chocolate cream was too sweet.

"You are marrying into the wealthiest, purest family in the wizarding world, y/n. It has to show."

"Sirius, dear," y/m/n tries to involve her future son in law in the discussion. He hasn't said a word since you got inside the store, instead prompting off a wall and watching the events unfold in front of him with disdain. "What do you think?"

Not that he could actually have any ideas. He didn't touch the samples, that weirdo. "I think we should be more open," he shrugged. "There's a nice cake shop downtown muggle London. Mrs. Potter used to take me and James there over the breaks."

You snorted. Now, he was just looking for troubles. Arsehole.

His mother inhaled deeply, flexing her fingers around her wand. And you notice Sirius tensing, straightening up away from the casual comfort of the wall. "Sirius Orion Black, do not speak such nonsense!"

Now the store owner and the other customers stared at the four of you. "Walburga, do you care for a walk?" Your mother soothed the situation before it escalated into something harder to repair. "Let the kids have some time to choose together the cake for their own wedding."

As soon as the women walked out, you sat up and went to Sirius. Crossing your arms in front of you, you ranted "What was that all about? Pissing off everyone around you about this wedding won't make it go away, you know? It'll still happen, rather we like it or not, so don't make it worse than it has to be."

Sirius rolled his eyes and passed by you, taking the table seat you left. "But why should I make it easier? Besides," he quickly add before you could answer, "your mom asked for my opinion and I delivered. I really do like muggle cakes."

"Aren't they the same? What's so special?"

Your future husband picked up a fork and plunged it into a slice of cake: a three layered with too much rom syrup. He made a show out of twirling the bite before grazing his teeth over it, swallowed and dropped the fork back on the platter. "They don't use magic to bake. Everything is more... authentic. It makes it better."

"Come on, you only had a taste of the worst cake so far. Try another. Here, this one's better." You brought a piece of bitter chocolate and berries creamed in front of him.

"Will you try a muggle one too?" He eyed the cake bite skeptically, a brow rose in challenge.

A scoff begin to climb its way on your face, but a stray thought made it stop. It may have been curiosity, or the realization that Sirius wasn't in the wrong to ask you this. Or maybe the fact that you spent five minutes with Sirius without being at each other's throats that pushed you to agree.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

You couldn't believe you snuck out with Sirius Black. To go to a muggle store, out of all places. But you secretly enjoyed it more than you should have. The thrill of running away, looking over your shoulder to see if your mother is paying attention or not. The giddiness of taking turn after turn through narrow streets, like playing in a labyrinth.

"You've done this before, haven't you?" You asked the man with a wide, free, joyous grin plastered on his face. With sparkling eyes speaking of defiance and wild hair breaking its tie and flowing behind him. Sirius looked at ease, natural and genuine and you felt like you've just seen the wizard for the first time.

"As many times I could." He briefly wiped his head backwards to look at you. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. You should have expected it. "We're here," he declares and opens a door with large gestures. Right before you could fully step in, Sirius makes way and bows to his waist. "Welcome to my humble sweet shop, your grace."

You roll your eyes and playfully push him. He pays for both, since you don't have any muggle money and your family name and the fact that you're getting married means nothing to the owner. "I'll pay you back, Black."

"No need. Just, take m'side on this and we're good." Sirius offers, reaching for one of the cakes he bought. He pushes one your way as well, but he doesn't eat his slice. He stares expectantly at you.

"You won't drop the idea, right?" You sigh. Sirius raises an eyebrow implicitly. "Fine," you relent, "if it's any good, then I'll speak to mother about it. Though I doubt it'll happen."

Your eyes open wide and a moan breaks through closed lips before you could stop it. You feel your cheeks heating in embarrassment, but Sirius doesn't reprimand you. He simply let his head fall back and laughs wholeheartedly. His nose scrunches up in delight and his eyes became alive as the sound carries on. You couldn't help but notice how cute he looks like, or compare the laugh to an harmony of bells and flutes.

"I'll take that as a yes for muggle cake. I won."

Decorations

"Not green!" Sirius groaned as you picked up a fluffy garland, fitting for both indoors and outdoors events.

"Stop being such a child, Sirius. It's just a color and the garland is sublime." You don't even look at him when you speak, too focused on the beautiful thread in your hands. You knew Sirius disliked the color green, due to his family's disposition towards it. How it's exposed everywhere in their house, a proud lineage of predominant slytherins. But you didn't expect it to run so deep that he'd object to a simple decoration.

"It's just like any other, y/n," he retorts. So fast you barely had time to notice, Sirius snatches another thread from the pile on display and holds it out for you to see. You fold the green one and roll it around your arm before resting your hands at the back of your hips. "That," you say, making a face at him, "is disgusting."

Sirius is ready to snap something back when he takes a double look at the bright yellow and pink garland he picked. He scowls and throws it back as quick as possible, then points a finger at you. "Do not say anything."

"Wasn't going to," you shrug and try to move forward. Your parents were checking out some places, which means you and Sirius had to choose the decorations by nightfall. And you just begun. It turned out it wouldn't be an easy job, with how opinionate Sirius was. You had to beg him to accept the beige table sheets and argued upon floral arrangements (he wanted lilies of different sizes and colors, while you wanted roses. Eventually, you both settled for a combination of flowers that included lilies, roses and some more to compliment the two mentioned before).

"I didn't say we're taking that one either," he fishes the thread from your grip and carelessly throws it back.

"Sirius!" You whine exasperated. "We don't have all day; there's a lot of stuff on our list, mostly from your mother, just so you know."

"Ok, fine, pick another one and that's it. Just not green. Please," he adds before you could interject. And his voice is broken and weak when he says it, a glossy look freezing the silver of his eyes.

You purse your lips together, beating down the curiosity that rises within your stomach. Nodding, you hook a white and black thread and start walking. You suddenly feel a weight on your shoulder and realize with a start it's Sirius' hand. "Thank you."

You brush it off. "It's better this way, actually. Can't go wrong with something as conventionaly elegant as black and white."

He hums and retreats his hand as if your shoulder burned him. The rest of your shopping was quite a quiet experience.

Engagement

You loosened the buttons of your ceremony robes when your parents weren't looking. Oxygen seemed to never be enough for your hungry lungs, restrained under tight layers of expansive material that itched your skin and strangled your throat. At least Sirius didn't look any better. His blood traitors, half bloods and muggle borns friends were forbiden to participate and his own clothes seemed to pain him as much as yours did you.

Wizarding folks watched from afar as you and Sirius' families draw a circle on the ground. They muttered blessings as they draw a circle of tamed flames around you and the Black heir. You knew the words by heart. The magic engagement meant bonding your souls together, your magic; the very essence of your beings becoming one. You were, however worried. Not just because you couldn't predict what Sirius might do, but also because the idea of being tied to him stressed the living breath out of you.

"Do you have it?" You ask, voice sharper than intended. Sirius hums an affirmative answer, but doesn't speak. His fingers are curled around each other, nails scratching lightly along the bony, long piano-build structures. His neck is flexing with each gulp. The grey of his eyes reflects the fire around yourselves. Both in ferocity and obedience.

You nod tightly. "Don't do something stupid, Black."

Sirius fixes you with a strange look. As if it pained him to see you. Or to be there, in the magic circle. Bonding himself to a person he didn't particulary care for. He looked like he could fell any second, the currently draw back shoulders slumping forward in defeat. The rebel inside, who defied family and rules for all his life, couldn't find a way out of this one.

He unsheets a pointy, small dagger. Could have been a needle to a tired eye. You do the same with a square blade the size of a kid toy. You grip each other hands, fingers entwined, as the free ones lay palm open, bare for the knives. Together, you gently cut through each. The leaking blood stops quickly and behind it a strident scar is left. Then you feel it. His magic battling against its container, anger raging, panic settling, dread floating and a powerful hint of fear. Though it doesn't linger, it doesn't go away either. It's a constant presence.

Sirius is paler than usual. You don't know if he acknowledges your range of emotions yet, or if he noticed the pull of your magic. You weren't going to ask, either. All you wanted to do was go home and think of this day no more.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

The feeling of peace tasted weird. It didn't belong to him, Sirius knew. But he felt it just as strong. He envied you for it, for feeling safe and secure, content and happy on a dayly basis. Even if something happened and you surrendered to heartache and despair, you could always return to that deposit of serenity and tranquility when all was done.

He also felt your distaste for the upcoming marriage, which, after the bonding ceremony, was more a social obligation. A reason to show off to other pure bloods. Sirius tried to escape, run off to Potter, keep a low profile and wait until they found something else to focus on. But his parents caught him. And threatened to divulge Lupin as a werewolf to the Ministry. So he had to play by their rules this time, the one time that truly affected his life.

First date

In the days between your engagement and wedding day, yours and Sirius' family insisted upon getting to know each other better. They even set you up in a nice, new place, a romantic gem hidden in wizarding London.

The quiet at your table was heavy. You sipped from your third drink, needing to do something else except for siting awkwardly and counting the minutes until it's acceptable for you to go.

"This is stupid," Sirius mumbled, getting on his feet so suddenly you jumped in your seat.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? Sirius!" If your families found out you went your separate ways, chaos would issue. "Get back here this instant."

"I'm not a married man yet, y/n. Can do what I want." And with that he was out the door.

"Oh, sticks and brooms!" You grunt annoyed and followed him. To your shock and horror, there was no trace of him on the pathway. Only a never ending stream of people, going up and down the street. And a huge black dog disturbing them. You narrow your eyes and furrow your brows. Odd, you thought as you followed him. You didn't understand why, but a clear pull called you to the quadruped. Similiar to the... no! It can't be, can it?

"Sirius?" You felt stupid for a brief second until the dog actually stopped. He turned around in the empty dead end street he lead you to and you could swear his eyes widened and his bot moved like a human mouth trying to process information. "Merlin's beard, you really are Sirius! But how? Why? What's going on?"

In an instant, the dog turned to his human form, Sirius Black rushing towards you. A hand over your mouth to keep you silence and the other arm around your neck to guide you further more down the street, Sirius shushed you. "Can you be any louder, y/n?"

"Yes if I don't get an explanation."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Fine," he sighed. "But not here."

Half an hour later you found yourself in a muggle restaurant, wolfing down something you weren't sure what it was, but tasted delicious. You listened to Sirius' story and couldn't stop a pang of admiration from settling inside your heart. Maybe he and his friends weren't that bad, after all. "Impressive, Black. Very noble of you all."

Sirius froze with his glass at his lips. "Was that a compliment, y/l/n?" He feigned surprise, exagerating it so much it made you laugh.

"Quit it! It's not that weird."

"I beg to differ. You were always stepping on our toes like the stuck up perfect little pureblood."

"I was a prefect," you roll your eyes. "And you boys were thinking only about pranks."

"Better make people laugh than scorn." He argued.

You took a sip. "Perhaps," you gave in. You were actually enjoying the night so far and you started to see a side of Sirius you didn't know existed. Not the rebel, not the egocentric marauder and not the shame on his family's name. But the loyal, the easygoing, the selfless.

"Chertè! If you agree with me one more time I might have a heart attack."

"Tempting."

"Very funny," he deadpanned.

"Relax. I wouldn't let you die on me... At least not until we're married and I have your money."

"Y/n," Sirius choke on his food. And then barked out a very inproper laugh. Strangely enough, you didn't mind. You liked the care free sound of it and the shamelessly cute nose wrinkle that came with it. Unlike the manner book taught you and the other pureblood kids, the Black heir wear his heart on his sleeves, showing with every inch of his body how he was feeling. "For what in Merlin's name would you need my money. You're stinky rich yourself."

"Only if I marry right," you shrugged, hoping to not show how much it bothered you. Sirius' face morphed in confusion. So sudden it took you by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the rules." At his even deeper confusion, you continued astonished. "We only inherit our fortunes if we make sure to be worthy of it. Marry the right person, support the right party, behave the right way. I scored two out of three already. Guess that's why they're so prone on you marrying me out of all people. And as soon as possible." You tried to keep the resent away, but failed miserably if his fallen face was any hint of that. You could have been visiting the world as you always wanted if Walburga and Orion Black didn't need a perfect match for their stray son.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, though he himself wasn't sure what for. It just felt like he hurt you somehow, even by mistake. Then a thought crossed his mind and he asked. "You don't want this either, do you?"

"I was planning to go on as many trips and hikes all over the world with my friends. So draw your own conclusions."

"I wanted to become an Auror and help people." But with the title he'd bestow once a married wizard of his ancestry, he'd be clenched in the foul grip of politics, you both knew that.

"I didn't know," your tone was apologetical. In the silence that followed, you and Sirius pondered over your brief, revealing conversation, the will to eat the rest of your food now gone.

"Think we should get outta here?"

You eyed him weirdly. "What for? Where? –" you added once you thought better about it.

"No fun in tellin'. Are y'coming?"

Curiosity won your inner battle and you followed Sirius Black out into the night. He showed you the beauty of muggle London through parks filled with kids playing a strange game with a ball ‐ pretty much like Quidditch on the ground; he took you to see street lamps lit up one by one without magic, their light shining in the rain water retained on the cobble street. "Beautiful," you whisper without meaning to say it out loud once your long walk came to an end in front of your house.

Sirius pretend he didn't hear you. He unlocked his arm from yours and bid you goodbye. He would walk all the way home instead of using your floo, he needed it to sort through his head. Because he started thinking there's more to you than an entitled brat and he couldn't make sense of it.

Gifts

"It's not going to splash me with some sort of weird spell, right?" You ask, eyeing the box Sirius is handing you suspiciously.

"I already swore it won't. Open it already, chertè." Sirius urges you again, this time pushing the box into your open palms. In Hogwarts, he and his friends used to put small gifts on people's chairs in class before spring break. It always looked like a departing gift, or Easter presents – for those celebrating – a nice, thoughtful gesture. And it always proved to be a mass prank. One year they were ribbons of colors attaching to the opener's face. Students had to go home painted in blue or red, yellow or green, purple, pink and even weird combinations.

Another time, the marauders managed to hex the box to spill the opener's latest lies. And there, of course, was the notorious year when the boys filled the boxes with neverending goo that spurred out and stuck to wizards and witches hair and robes. It took months to be fully clean of it. You earned the right to not trust a pretty wrapped gift coming from Sirius Black. Especially since you failed to see a reason for receiving it in the first place.

"Fine, fine. Merlin! You're so insistent." You breath deeply once, exhale slowly and open the box. You narrow your brows in confusion, reaching for the object inside. Then, as soon as your fingers touch it and you can make sense of reality, your eyes widen, tears gather under your lids and your mouth hangs open.

"Sirius," you whisper. "This is..." but you can't find your words. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess?" He offers, though you can tell it's more to it than that. So you fix your e/c eyes on him, coercing him to speak. It's the second best thing you can do: keeping yourself distracted to not cry happy tears as if you two were a pair hopelessly in love and not a political stunt.

"Remember in fifth year," Sirius gave in, "when you got in that debate with Binns?" You nod, surprised he recalled it. History of Magic was the most hated subject, simply because of how hard it was to stay awake during the lecture and then realizing studying had to be done with own forces, rather than a lot of help from the teacher. But you liked it. You always thought that if witches and wizards would just give it a chance and show some interest, they'd share your opinion.

You didn't complain, though. Since it gave you a free pass to talk to Binns about anything regarding the subject. Most days, the class unfolded as a dialogue between you and the teacher. Which had been the case in the last weeks of the fifth year when you became invested in legends and preserved artifacts from the past.

"Of course. I'm surprised you do."

"Yeah, well, your little chats with Binns were the only interesting things that ever happened in that class. This one in particular, since it lasted the most and neither of you seemed to accept the other's ideas too soon," Sirius explained. "So I did some digging and found this. Thought you'd like it."

You did. The old, dusty piece inside the box had to be the most thoughtful, beautiful gift someone ever gave you. And to think it came from Sirius Black, no less. It astonished you.

"Yes, thank you! But why?"

"No reason," Sirius dismissed your question with a wave of his hand. "You've not been completely insufferable, so..."

You huff and smack his arm lightly. "I have nothing for you, though."

"That's not true. You already gave me the only gift I wanted." He didn't say what that was. You didn't ask.

Honey moon

You kiss Sirius' shoulder as his muscles flex with the weight of your suitcases. You waited in line at the airport, ready to fly over the sea the muggle way. Sirius turned his head to smile at you, a warm, happy stretch of lips so wide you feared it might break his cheekbones. The two of you were about to embark on a trip around the world, courtesy of all your friends' wedding gifts covering up the costs you couldn't present to your parents. Visiting both wizarding and muggle places, enjoying together of their beauty. Or adventure, as you were sure Sirius would find one.

As you waited for your line to advance, you thought back on the rocky beginning of you and your husband relationship. Now, you shook your head in fond embarrassment remembering how you viewed him. And how he viewed you. The way your brain would fight the impulses to smile and laugh, to relax and talk to him about your pain and share your joy; to comfort him and hear his opinions, to cling to him in strong hugs and thread your fingers through his fluffy hair. You promptly ignore your heartbeats speeding whenever your eyes landed on him. The feeling only deepened, but now you knew he felt the same. And you could lean in and kiss those soft lips whenever you wanted.

Sirius' mind wondered in similar places. He decided to not indulge the anger boiling beneath him. His parents wanted to control every aspect of his life, including the honey moon. Reason for what the two of you left for it three months later. After Sirius' refusal to participate in his required activities in the Ministry proved fruitful and you were allowed to do as you pleased. Instead, he forced his brain towards more happy memories. How your disdain in your eyes slowly turned into love. How the curl of your lips became sincere. How your voice gained power and confidence, entrusting him to listen. The way he felt a literal chain unlocking from around his spirit with each light tease, each story shared. And to think he is going to have you all for himself for a whole month, living a combination of both of your most burning dreams.

The honeymoon went better than either of you could have dreamed of. Lazy mornings filled with cuddles and kisses. Late nights slow dancing under the stars or blasting Sirius' favorite rock songs. Visiting places you've longed to see and making it all better by having your husband at your side. Annoying him talking over the guide to provide more details, but he secretly adored it. You pretending to be mad when he'd turn into Padfoot and run wild and free in parks. You relaxed into each other, gave all of yourselves in that unexpected love that blossomed when you thought it impossible.

Intimacy

Your hand flew to Sirius' head resting in your lap. Your fingers brushed his forehead, threading through his hair before returning to massage the tensed muscles on his face. He sighed. Content, happy, at peace as never before. He caught your hand gently by the wrist and brought it to his lips. "I love you," his warm breath tingled your skin before the sensation disappeared to make way for the one of his soft mouth pressing onto it.

"And I, you," you whispered fiercely, touching your foreheads together. In a quick, swift movement, the wizard stole you a kiss on the lips. Your head tilted backwards, joyous laughs bursting out of your chest. "You, devilish trickster!" You teased.

And Sirius smirked. He burried his face in your thigh, nuzzling his nose into it and letting his body loose with laughter. "You knew it when you married me, chertè."

"Well," you begin, running your fingers over his spine, ending with grasping his shoulder and applying needed pressure. "I didn't have much of a choice back then."

"Ouch," the man protested when you hit a sensitive spot a bit too harsh (on purpose or not, he'll never know). "Neither did I, y/n." He turned his head to look up at you. "But I wouldn't change a thing if I could."

"I know." You mused and allowed your body to shift until you laid on the couch next to him. Hiding your head in the crook of his neck, you mumbled, "I wouldn't either, my loveliest."

Jerk

For you and Sirius both, summer meant exquisite parlor parties, select picnics at the countryside and aching, meaningless small talk. You always tried to find reasons to enjoy it and so, make it past it. But Sirius wouldn't smile at one of these events if his life depended on it. Once, while still in school, he even smuggled his friend, Potter, in and made food fly and drinks splash when picked up.

Now, as your name was tied by him due to your engagement, you couldn't help but be nervous for the first time in a long, long while. The entirety of pureblood community in England knew Sirius is to be your husband. Thus only meaning his behavior would shine bad on you too from now on. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. Really, what were your parents thinking?

"Ready, y/n, dearest?" Your mother asked. You adjusted your robe in the mirror and hurried down the stairs.

"Ready, mother."

"You seem distrust. Did something happened?" You father said concerned.

"No. No. All is good." Or at least, you'll make sure it'll be.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Your family arrived due expected time. The Blacks were already there: Walburga, back straight and livid as always, plucking her lips in disgust at everyone she deemed unimportant; Orion, as dazed as normally, deeply thinkering over one of his thesis; Regulus, proud and stoic, observing from afar his surroundings and the people navigating through. And lastly, Sirius, looking pained to breath the same air with the pearl of wizarding society. Although he wore the robes with elegancy and could be a gentleman if he wanted to – always peppered with sarcasm, but not always ingenuine – it was clear as daylight he wanted nothing more but to slump his shoulder, grab his leather jacket and fly on his engine through muggle streets.

"Y/n, hello!" Regulus greeted when you and your parents worked your way to reach them.

"Hello, Regulus. Walburga –" a nod of your head in the witch's dirrection, "Orion –" another nod. "Sirius," you said at last.

For a few seconds, he did nothing. Then, he smirked and, with a theatrical bow and exaggerated fluid movements, Sirius Black grabbed your hand delicately and softly touched his lips to it. "Always a pleasure to see you, chèrte."

And even knowing it was but a spectacle, that he must put a show to feel good in his shoes, your heart fluttered at the pet name. It meant nothing and you knew it and still... the way he spoke, his voice rasping over the skin of your hand, the little smile playing on his lips while his eyes locked with yours made it impossible to keep your cool.

"Maybe we should leave them alone, no?" Your mother winked at you and, without waiting for an answer, moved the two families towards a small crowd by the river's banks.

You let out an audible groan. Sirius kept his cool. He was leaning on the table behind him casually, a small white roll in between his fingers. "Want some?" He asked in a bored tone. You shot him a confused look. "It's a cigarette," he sighed, "muggle."

"Oh," was all you said, prompting him to huff in annoyance. He brought the thing to his lips and sucked in on it, blowing off a mouthful of smoke. You scrunched up your nose, closing your eyes at the burning, unpleasant smell.

"Sirius!" You hissed. But he pressed his fingers to your lips, careful not to touch you with the burning object. "T, t, t, none of that now. You don't want either of our parents find our cigarette, do you?"

"Ours? Please," you rolled your eyes, snapping his hand away. "You're the only one idiotic enough to try muggle shit."

A smirk crept unto his face. He mouthed a small spell under his breath as he puffed another blow of smoke your way. "Maybe, but it's hard to tell your innocence when you smell like me." And with that, he stomped the fire and placed the cigarette under his ear, walking away from your too stunned to speak form with a wink.

Kids

"I'm not sure how I feel about kids." You blew up one day. You knew it was expected of both you and Sirius, by both your families, to carry on the y/l/n bloodline and the Black name. But it was all moving too fast!

"Oh, Merlin!" Sirius breathed out. "I can't picture myself taking care of a kid anytime soon."

"Yeah, or ever... maybe. I don't know."

Sirius shrugged. "Don't worry 'bout it. Beisdes, if we change our minds and it's too late, we can adopt."

"Our parents would most likely disown us for this conversation alone."

He only lifted a shoulder and tilted his head. You suspected that being an animagus, Padfoot was rubbing off on him. And viceversa. "I couldn't care less and you know it."

Love

You felt like waking up from a dream. One so real you questioned its veracity. Your brain, a pile of smudged thoughts crushing one into the other, unable to form anything coherent. Just the tingling feeling on your lips. The image of his soft face so close to yours. His mouth lightly parted, containing a crumb of surprise. His long, black locks framing your face as his eyes bore into yours.

Heart fluttering. Hands clutching the blanket over your head in tight fists. After your wedding, Sirius went off with his friends, leaving you to return to your own house. Which you didn't mind, at least at first. But as sleep drowned your mind and senses felt numb and airy, your thoughts drifted to him. The meaningless kiss at the end...

Sirius. Sirius. Sirius. The tall young man with sad silver eyes. Pain dressed as humor, hurting becoming sarcasm, frustration irony. Jokes over jokes never truly lit his eyes up with living and joy. Then, the wizard would glance at his friends kissing, his other friends loving themselves in their bodies; he'd see a proud Gryffindor kid in the first year proclaiming to find the notorious marauders map; get lost in a song, memories playing clearly in his moving eyes under closed lids; Sirius would catch a glimpse of happiness in other people's lives and his mouth would twist on its own in a gentle, genuine smile. The lead of his pupils would soften in a black-and-white picture (of a snowy landscape, with a solitary tree hovering over birds with broken wings).

Sirius Black. Talking just to hear himself talk. Turning into an Animagus for his friend, diverting his parents' wrath from his brother with his own body, remembering your history debates from years ago, loyal. Not once did he see another while engaged to you and you were sure he'll stay just as loyal within wedlock despite it being a union of convinience.

Sirius Orion Black: thinking for himself. Daring to ask, search, be curios and venture into the unknown. Heart on his sleeves, mind open wide, but not naive. Helping others for the sake of it – spiting his family, a welcomed bonus. Needing to prove himself in the most unseen, crazy ways.

Why did you knew so much about him? Why would you find yourself crying in your pillow, fondly smiling at the same time?

Where was he, anyway? Was he alright? Safe? Why did you care so much? Too much, not a normal way you'd be concerned about someone you know, someone that become some type of friend to you. No. It was a rising panic, a muffled cry blowing your ribcage. Your husband was surrounded by friends, all powerful witches and wizards, yet you couldn't stop the worry. The need to see him. Hug him. Burry your nose in the crock of his neck and...

A meaningful kiss.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sirius gulped down the fifth shot at the muggle pub.

"Wow, Padfoot," Peter snickered. "Not even married for a day and already drinking to forget about it."

"Peter!" Lily admonished. "That is such a terrible thing to say. Stop laughing, James or I might give this back," the redhead stated without even blinking in her husband's direction. The bespectacled man straighten up and pushed the glass offered by Sirius away.

"You should stop, though, Pads. Firewhisky and muggle drinks won't mix well, mate."

Sirius rolled his eyes and called for another beer. He couldn't be sober. It mean he'd have to think. Look his heart in the eye and dare to roam through it.

Your passion to speak about a subject no one cares for, except for you. Your refrained giggles, so prone on following the etiquette. The loud, startling, noisy laugh when he tickled you with a feather a duck left behind on a park's pathway. How your body curled and moved chaotically, freely.

Your e/c glimmer when seeing a beautiful piece of art, an interesting sport downtown; when learning how to do something new like cooking or a hard crafted spell. The way raindrops catch in your hair and glint h/c in the light. The way your expression, so blank usually, swifts to raw emotion around those you feel good around; the maddening excitement when Sirius found out he is part of them.

"What's the problem, ey, Sirius?" Remus patted him on the back before snatching away the bevarage in front of him and helping himself.

The newly wed wizard made a sound of protest, but there was no way his friend would indulge him. "You know what, Remus," he seethed. "They finally did it. They turned me into their puppet! Ans the worst part yet? I'm not hating it as much as I should." Sirius' eyes widened and he brought his hands to his mouth, biting his fingers for spilling the beans on himself like that. An astonished silence passed around the table. But before anyone could say anything, the heir of the House of Black took off, slipping into Padfoot and exhausting himself with a long night run.

Melancholy

The sound of the tower's bells echoed in the night. Loud and agonizing, drumming on the walls of your dark room. And still, your heart felt heavier than the noise of London. Another hour has passed, another lost. Bringing you closer and closer to the dreadful morn'.

From your seat in front of the mirror, you looked closely at your face. You studied every muscle twitching with uneasiness, every curve of your bones and the softness of your chin, as your features were yet to sharpen in the likes of adulthood. You pressed your fingers to your tear glands, trying to push back the itching tears.

You didn't want to marry! You didn't want to start that stage of your life just yet. Knowing it'll happen one day since early childhood, you still wanted some time to live. Discover yourself, travel, be free of any responsability. But responsabilities were a part of your very being since the day you were born a pure blood baby in a noble family.

A heart wrecking scream fought to the surface, but years of proper manner practice forced it out as a whimper. You bowled your fists on the table, took a deep breath and resume your speech to your reflection. "You can do this, y/n. You have to. You will!"

Another ring of the huge clock in the city. Another hour passed. Bringing you closer your wedding.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sirius paced around his bedroom, making sure to stomp his feet on the wooden floor as loud as possible. It was the only way he could show his deflection. His lips were subjected to torture from his teeth, as dozens of injuries flood his mind.

The wizard tapped his thighs with his long fingers, debating running away to the Potters. But he knew it'd only delay the inevitable. He would be married by the end of tomorrow. Well, today, actually, as a spiteful bang from afar was kind enough to remind him.

To no end would Sirius be fuming alone, raging at the unfairness of it all. At least his parents allowed James to come as his best man. Only James, the only pure blood he managed to befriend as the disappointment he was.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius sat on the edge of his bed. The mattress whined under the sudden, not so gentle, weight. Pulling and pushing with his fingers at his lips, he considered disappearing. Maybe somewhere in France, to their relatives there. Convince them to help him somehow. If he was to escape a Black arranged wedding, he needed the help of another Black.

That bang again! Raising the sun from its slumber. Too late now, he realized. He'd be a married man in no time.

New home

Sirius didn't even get down from his engine, playing with the unlit cigarette between his lips. It was the seventh house you were seeing today, since you decided to get a place for just the two of you a month earlier. And none so far was of your liking.

"You should come see it too," you said stepping down from the porch, the seller on your heels. But Sirius could already tell by the pout you tried to hide that the house wasn't it.

"Nah, chertè, I'm good. Hop up, let's go." He smiled to himself, spitting the cigar and turning on the engine.

"We still have some very good place you might like to see."

"I'm sure you do, but..." and with one last glance at you to confirm you weren't interested, Sirius sped up the road. After a while, when no one could see, the motorbike leapt from the ground and roamed the heights of London.

With Sirius' letter jacket wrapped around your shoulder and the sight of the town small under your feet, you laid your head on his back and fell asleep. The sound of whisper chattering woke you up, though, in the depth of night.

"You sure you want to wait?"

"Yeah, y/n has to see it, make sure it's good enough."

You peaked through your lashes at the apartment building Sirius was in front of. You couldn't see much: a dim lit hallway, a post box, a boring color and balconies all the way up. But something caught your eyes. The name Potter scribbled onto the list at the door. Of course Sirius would want to move in next to his best friend!

"Darling," you whispered softly. "You can buy it."

Ob(livious)vious

"Go, James!" Sirius' voice boomed next to you. On both your families' insistence you accompanied your husband at the Quiditch game. His best friend's team was playing. But you couldn't get into the spirit.

Sirius has been avoiding you like the plague. Not a single glance your way, not a single word spoken to you. As if all of a sudden you ceased to exist. He walked either fast in front of you, either slow behind and refused to acknowledge your presence. Not even to roll his eyes or make one of his snarky remarks. And as soon as you took your seats, Sirius switched places with Peter, after both Remus and Lily refused to.

It pained you. And you hated it. But there was no fighting the throttling clenching around your heart every time he ignored you. You should have been grateful, you would have been if you still hated him. But things changed and now you ached for his voice, his laugh, his unfiltered thoughts. Your head was spinning, nausea settling in from nights without sleep and days with no rest. It made you sick, the intensity of it all: confusion, love, crushed hope.

On the other side, Sirius fought his own battles. Against his own feelings. He couldn't be in love with the only person who wouldn't return it. He knew rejection well, within his family, and he knew he couldn't bear it from you. So Sirius decided to strangle it, the affection, the care, the like that became love. He'd keep his distance, guard his heart and eventually it must go away. Right?

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

After the game ended with James' victory, you all went to celebrate it. What both you and your husband failed to see, your friends picked on quickly. It wasn't even hard, to be honest. Lily watched Sirius glance at you every two seconds with a bemused smile plastered on her face. The redhead nudged her husband and the bespectacled young man snorted so loud you and Sirius locked gaze while turning to look at him. Remus rolled his eyes at both of your heartbeats fastening while your friends snickered annoyed behind your back, changing knowing sighs: if they confront you on your feelings, you'd deny it and of they try to push you to tell Sirius, you'd curse them. Peter seemed the only one as oblivious as the two of you, but the short lad asked about the tension he could strongly feel.

"Shut up, Wormy," Sirius mumbled. "You don't know anything."

"Oh, really?" James teased.

"I think Peter's right."

You turned to glare at y/f/n that simply sipped from the glass on the chair's arm and hummed. With the corner of your eye, you caught Sirius' quartz eyes boring into yours. He was looking for something on your face, you studied his for signs that what the others were saying might be true.

And if it was, what would that mean? After all, it was a marriage of convinience. And it can't be – shouldn't be – anything more. Or...?

Proposal

It was getting out of hand, Sirius thought from his spot in front of the chimney. His parents informed him of the little stunt they were about to perform with the y/l/ns. Why would he need to propose to you and all the papers already proclaimed your engagement? It's ridiculous!

But of course when he brought it up with his parents, Orion and Walburga dismissed his complaints as if he wasn't their son, but another piece of furniture in the house they could place wherever they wanted, however they wanted or even get rid of.

"Because, son, it is the respectful thing to do. The y/l/ns aren't just anybody."

"Oh, don't bother, Orion!" Walburga scoffed. "He wouldn't understand the delicate art of courting if we carve it in his brain. You will propose to y/n, boy, end of discussion."

So, here he was now, mumbling to himself while waiting for his family to go to the fancy restaurant on Diagon Alley where he'd pop the big question in front of gauging eyes. How delightful!

You weren't having a better time either. The announcement was just made a week ago and all the attention it shade on you was bothering to no end.

"I just don't get why we can't skip it, mom," you tried for the millionth time. "Every body already knows. And if we show up in public together it'll be good enough to cement it."

"No, it won't, dear. You cannot show yourself with someone who hasn't make his intention clear. And he shouldn't either."

"Dad?" The desperate yet hopeful cry for help was met with a simple grunt followed by 'listen to your mother' as your father slumped back into his chair, turning the page of his book. Fantastic!

The evening finally came and with it the glaring moment of your little show. Sirius played his part too well. Exagerating a large gesture, he popped open a small box and dropped to a knee next to your chair. You hoped his hands would slip and loose the ring, that way the fault would be on him and you'd get away from this situation. Or that at least he'd pull the fata de masa with him as he moved, lighten up your sour mood. But Sirius moved swift as a panther. Elegant. Royal, even.

The pathetic 'yes' you had at ready wouldn't do after his poetic speech. You vaguely wondered if someone wrote it for him, but snaped out of your head as you realized it was your turn. Pretending to gasp, you covered your mouth with your hands, pinching your cheeks right under your eyes to gather some tears, feigning overwhelming happiness. You shook your head enthusiastically, mimicking a loss of words. When you finally chocked out a booming "Yes!" the whole room started clapping.

That was it, your status fixed in the wizarding society. Judging by the cloudy gaze of Sirius' grey eyes, he wasn't any happier.

Quarrels

"Grow up!" You shouted, probably loud enough for the whole street to hear.

"Learn to take a joke, Merlin!" He retorted.

You huffed annoyed and belittled him: "Of course you can only joke around, even when it's not appropriate. You're Sirius bloody Black, the same stupid, silly prankster you've always been!"

Sirius made a sound of protest. The whole fake relationship you had to present to the public eyes eating him alive. But he tried. Despite what his parents – or you – had to say, he actually really tried. He didn't see anything wrong with a small prank on April first. James and Lily still had their fun, why can't you have why they have? It wasn't even a bad, humiliating one, like all the ones he pulled at Hogwarts with his friend. Sirius went easy on you, thinking it was something you'd enjoy. If you'd ever loosen that stiff allure of the perfect heir.

"At least I have lived my life..."

"Because you're so old now, huh?"

"Not old, but clearly not living anymore. But that's fine. I have memories to go back to and remember good times. Do you, oh, perfect, mature, y/n?"

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah, really?" Sirius mocked. "Well, then, tell me. What am I talking about? The perfect grades you sacrificed any spare time for? While us, the normal people, celebrated Halloween, you locked yourself in the potion cabinet until you got the right mix. While we wandered the castle and discovered new rooms, you stayed in your place and followed the rules. What did it bring you, hm? Fulfilness? Happiness? Do you feel the adrenaline of a life lived coursing trough or are you just existing, y/n?"

Sirius' voice grew in intensity until it reached a wild scream. Eyes wide, mouth curled into a mean grin, he looked at you expectantly. But you couldn't even make sense of your mingled thoughts, much less answer him. All you could muster was a weak "shut up", as your throat tightened in a strangled grip to hold back your tears.

"Ah, right. Cry now. I bet no one's ever talked to you like that. Only praises for the good, little heir."

"It's not my fault you choose to rebel. Could've been a good son too, Sirius, and maybe you wouldn't have known how certain spells feel like." You bit out the words, regretting them as soon as they left your mouth. But you stood your ground. Sirius didn't regret his words. And he hurt you too. You don't have to take and take and take without firing some back.

"Low blow, y/n," Sirius said lowly. "Low blow."

"And you just get to tell me I don't have a life like that? You don't think I know that? But you don't know me, Sirius! You don't get to critic my choices."

Respect

Sirius mumbled incoherently in his fist. He couldn't believe he was engaged to someone like you: an artificial excuse of a human being, posing as a good, little pure blood, despite all the wrongs of it. There was nothing he wanted more than to escape the dinner with your family at his house and get in some trouble with the marauders. But that was quite the task he couldn't yet manage.

A trail of house elves made their way in to clean the table. One of them spilled some of the firewhisky onto the expensive carpet. Sirius caught your growing eyes right before you shut them tight and flinched as Walburga's wand pointed to the elf. The scream shattered your entire being to the core and you sucked in a breath you waited a long while to release.

Later that evening, Sirius found you in the kitchens as he tried to sneak out. You led your wand over the hurt elf's body, brows furrowed in concentration as you whispered healing spells. The young man leaped back in surprise, mind working confused to make sense of it.

He may not have been fond on house elves, but seeing you help the little one made him think you are more than an annoying, smug thing after all. And the realization doesn't make him like you, not a bit. But it tells him to respect you.

Safety

You picked at the dry skin around your nails. Fear build up in your gut, ready to explode into tears at any moment. Your shoulders stiff, your spine straightening as far back as possible. Sirius and you have just moved in together. And you've never been alone with him for so long. Much less live with him. What were you supposed to do? How to act?

You knew how to navigate the wizarding world. All the rules and expectations, different in each place. Be nice and respectful to your fellow students, yet take care strictly of them as a prefect to be praised as an example at Hogwarts. Be steady in your believes and not associate with half bloods or muggle borns, don't embarrass your family name, learn the proper manners, dances, speech, to be praised as a perfect heir.

But you didn't know how were you supposed to be with Sirius. So far, he had no demands. You were yourself, growing on his side as he grew on yours. He watched you, learned you, being more than happy to see you discover your authentic self and gain confidence in being it shamelessly. And you loved him as he was. But it surely couldn't be like that anymore. There must be rules to follow. It was one thing having fun together for a couple of hours each day, but this was different. This were the two of you building a life together. And how could that be without patterns to follow?

Anxiety arose in your chest, making it almost impossible to breath. It was then when you heard the gentle shut of the door and the clicking of keys, as Sirius came home. You froze, to overcome with fear to pass coherent information to your brain. When Sirius found you paralyzed in the middle of the room, he thought you hexed yourself by mistake. Then he remembered how skilled you were and pushed the thought aside.

"Y/n? Something wrong?"

You pressed your lips together, breath hitching in your throat as you let out a hopeless whimper. You swallowed hard, trying to ease your nerves and tried to speak again. In vain.

Sirius frowned. Closing the space between you, he placed his hands on your shoulders and rubbed gently. When he didn't feel you resist his touch, the wizard pulled you in a tight hug. One of his hands circled your middle as the other pressed at the back of your head, holding you so close, yet not close enough. And as your body went limp in his embrace, calming down bit by bit, you thought that your worries were miscalculated at worst, exagerated at best.

Trust

Sirius shifted from foot to foot as he walked tightly with your hand in his. His thumb rubbed circles over the back of your palm, but it was more to help ground himself than to sooth you. Even though you needed to have a clear plan for the day, when Sirius asked to meet him at James apartment to show you something, you accepted. But now that you were there, it seemed Sirius needed to calm his nervousness more than you did.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Why do you say that?" He usually did a much better job at hiding his emotions, which is why you suspected he wanted you to know how much this – whatever it is – means to him. So you lifted an eyebrow and chuckle softly.

"Come on, what is it? What can possibly be so bad about what you're going to show me? It's not like you're a criminal. Or, are you?

Your attempt to loosen him up worked, much to your surprise. And Sirius, now more confident, led you to a garage next to the apartment building. A place, he informed you, where muggles take their noisy transportation objects when they broke. Your brows scrunched up in confusion, but you remained silent. You got to a point with your relationship to Sirius – you still couldn't believe you actually called it that nowadays – became strong enough to confine in one another.

"Ok," he said, "I need you to keep an open mind with this. Don't let tge pure blood instincts kick in, alright.?"

You nod, suspiciously and wait for the garage door to open, revealing a bunch of dirty, oily stuff, of different shapes and sizes, placed neatly in iron boxes. In the middle of the room, there was an odd looking thing: two wheels, an uncomfortable looking seat, mirrors on the sides and a manner to control it, you guessed.

Looking up to Sirius, pearls shone in his eyes. He watched that thing with so much adoration it scared you. "Sirius?"

He smiled down at you and tugged you inside. "Come, y/n, meet the other love of my life."

If you weren't too confused trying to figure out what you were looking at, you might have caught the slip in his speech. But you didn't, instead waiting for an explanation.

"It's a motorbike." And, when you gave away no reaction, Sirius continued: "It's a muggle way to travel, like a car – I told you about those – but smaller. And cooler."

"Looks dangerous. What if you fall off?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You sound like Lily."

You fought a scorn at being compare to the muggle born. As you got closer and closer to Sirius, you found yourself discovering his ideas weren't as bad or crazy as the pure bloods believed. And you actually enjoyed his friends company.

"Fine, fine," you raise your hands in defeat. "Tell me more. What aboyt this motorbike?"

"James got it for me on my birthday. It was all rusty and barely working, but he said that's the nice part. I get to fix it and model it as I want." He stopped to laugh at the face you made. "I thought so too, but then I actually started to work on it and he was right. It's not finished yet, I have to polish it so the color won't wear off and work some more on its chains, but..." Sirius trailed off, losing his train of thoughts when he got overwhelmed by the object. It seemed the bike meant more to him than simply a gift from his bestfriend. Or a way to make another statement against his parents, owning a muggle invention.

"It's important because you worked on it," you stated. "Isn't it?"

He nodded, comforted, though not any less surprised, that you understood it. "Yes. It's like, like it's part of me. That's why I want to add a little magic to it as well. My engine will fly, y/n."

As he spoke, his stormy eyes beamed like fresh dew in the morning. "I wanted to share it with you, but my family can't know, y/n. They'll make a big deal out of it, take it from me even."

You nodded. Of course they would! Until Sirius marries and takes over the title of Head of the House, he is still under his parents' iron hand rule. By sharing his hidden passion with you, he stripped himself of his carefully built shields, becoming vulnerable in your presence. You smiled at the thought.

"Thank you. For bringing me here. It's really nice, Sirius. I can't wait to see it in the sky."

Understanding

Several days passed since you and Sirius fought. His words hunted you just like your own did. You knew you shouldn't have said all those things, but you were bitter. And the hurt and pain in his quartz eyes fed a dark part of yourself even you were scared of. And yet, you still couldn't bring yourself to apologize first.

The wizard betrothed to you, though, hated how much the fight weight on him. He wished he could only be angry, but guilt too nibbled at his mind. Sirius saw the panic in your eyes when you realized what you said. You didn't mean it, of course. But he did. He meant what he spat at you and it made his heart clench with the realization. He's not any better than dark wizards, taking pleasure in other's pain.

Sirius munched over his thoughts. Slick, jelly thoughts wrapping around everything he tried to unlearn and squeezing it all off and out his mind. Maybe he did deserve the curses thrown at him. He could have played his part, like Regulus. Be a proper Black and spare himself the misery of his childhood. But then, he wouldn't have his friends anymore. The joyous marauders. Always there for him, need be or not. And how can his treacherous mind betray them like that? Forgetting all his promises of loyalty.

The young man wanted to scream. One side of his sickening mind told him you were right. His parents and dark, vile family were right all along. While the other fought hard to keep him sane, his thoughts clean of the ordeals of his past. He knew better now. He knew real love and affection and maybe he could find it in him to forgive you for acting out on your anger. It seems like you didn't learn the beautiful lessons he did by his friends' side.

You were surprised to see Sirius at your door one afternoon. Though you shouldn't be, really. Orion and Walburga must have insisted too much time went on since you two showed up together in society. People start talking. Never a good sign.

"I'm sorry," you blurted out before even giving him the chance to step inside. He seemed baffled, but took it as an invitation to jump right in the reason of the visit.

"I'm sorry too, y/n. Shouldn't have said all those things..."

"No, no," you spoke over him flustered. "It's me who stepped out the line."

"I got carried away." The two of you said at the same time. And the stretched nerves snapped into an unstoppable fit of laughter.

"I mean it, though," you were the first to speak again once silence set over the room. "It's not your fault, what your parents did do you, what they put you through... it's horrible and has no reason or excuse."

Sirius nodded. "It's still hard to accept it sometimes. But I know it's true. Even when I don't believe it, I still know." You nodded along with him, showing you followed his words, though you couldn't quite grasp it. Before you had a chance to process it better, his voice, now soft, yet still filling the room in its embrace, rose once more:

"And I also know now that I was an idiot to hold your own childhood against you. Couldn't have much of a choice, I imagine."

"The choice was there, I guess," you shrugged, lifting only one shoulder. "It always is. Could have rebel like you. They might not have hurt me, but they would have disowned me. I wasn't strong enough to. I still am not... Strong enough to go against their word, that's it."

Once more, Sirius nodded, debating rather he should take this step in bringing you closer or not. But the decision was mostly made anyway, way before he even found the words to express it. He broke into a mischievous grin and leaned forward. "I'll show you," he promised.

Vulnerable

It was a warm afternoon. The unusual time brought you and Sirius on the garden atop your apartment building. Lounged on the roof, a spell in place to make sure you won't fall, you threaded your fingers through Sirius' beautiful long hair. He fell asleep in your arms, head on your chest, one arm under your waist and another at the base of your neck.

You marveled at the sight. Even more unusual than the good weather. His chest moved slowly, even breath after even breath brushing softly over your skin. His mouth was relaxed, his tongue finally untensed from its spot on the roof of his mouth. Sirius's features softened when he slept, his body loosening its twitching flex of muscles from over the day. His eyes didn't move between his eyelids, his brows weren't a single bit furrowed. Just a small smile tugged at his lips.

It scared you the first time it happened. Seeing him in this calm state, knowing he wanted you to. You didn't know what to do, being caught off guard. What did it meant? Were you getting closer? Friendlier? Or was it more? You didn't know how you felt about it, either. You begin to like Sirius more and more, but this closeness all of a sudden made you uncomfortable. You've never cared for someone like that, like a protector to keep them safe in a week state. It has always been you the one sheltered and coddled.

Leaning down on your back, glaring lovingly at the sun, you sighed in content. The person you were weeks ago, no more. You came to love how Sirius allowed himself to be himself around you. Letting you in charge of your life and boundaries. Appreciating your strength.

Wicked

It was no secret the marauders were a tedious group to deal with. They wrecked havoc for seven years straight at the magic castle and still managed to keep themselves on the good side of the teachers. Damned be their charm!

So it wasn't an exageration on your part to thread carefully around your betrothed. You were forced to spent time with him in the hopes you'd warm up to each other by the wedding date. Quite unlikely, you both thought. And didn't know how wrong you were!

For how could either of you guess you'd fall for the other when Sirius was such a filthy prankster, a shame for the pure blood wizards and yourself nothing but a boring one, without any trace of personality?

The first days together were a pain for both of you, never having been happier to drop onto your beds and forget about everything. Even though expected, Sirius' pranks still caught you off guard. A smelling bomb, hexed to last for a whole week, a sticky jelly glued to your hair that barely came off without taking your y/h/c locks with it, an annoying howler that worked like an alarm for the weirdest, cringiest things in the most improper of times and so many others. You lost count.

That piece of wizard scum had to be taught a lesson! But you haven't the mind of an evil prankster to aid you. So you did what you learned best from the noble society you were born and raised into.

Sirius walked unknowingly into your trap when you invited him over to your favorite restaurant for a special dinner. He didn't know what that was, nor did he care. All he wanted was to be done with quicker. No little was his surprise when he opened the door of the place to a dark, wet forest. Of the likes of the forbidden forest at Hogwarts. Him and his friends explored it several times, of course. But this one was your doing. Designed by your imagination that haven't seen a patch of its twin Sirius was familiar with.

Streaks of spells came his way, prompted by your swift wand movement. Predators long since gone came to be around him as extinct dangerous plants blossomed at his feet. It was all a mirage. Nothing could actually hurt him, nor could he feel pain. But fear caused Sirius to act regardless. Fighting off invisible threats.

When you finally lowered the spell he was met with amused pairs of eyes. Dozens of wizards and witches witness to the show that he become. Red with embarrassment, he vowed to take his revenge. Which he did, cruel and wicked, starting the biggest fight you'd ever have.

Xylographic (the art of engraving wood)

You smiled up at him encourragely. A while ago you both decided to go to an engraving shop and get special wooden rings. Sirius thought such things should be a surprise, but you argued it can be a nice afternoon together, each of you giving and receiving a gift at the end. Besides, the words or symbols you put on the rings would be a secret 'til the end.

Sirius reluctantly agreed, so here you were now. You were smoothening the already smooth piece of paper in your hands, excited to put the words on Sirius' ring. Your husband on the other hand wrinkled his note with sweaty palms, tapping his foot nervously on the cracking floor.

Finally, the old couple owning the shop came into view. You went with the old man, while the nice lady motioned for Sirius to follow him. You watched mesmerized how the craftman worked. His wand stiff in his hands, carving the wood in silence with upmost delicacy. The phrase you prepared for Sirius begin to get a beautiful round shape around the bend. The brightest star can't match the bright soul. At the end, the old wizard brushed his fingers over, cleaning the small splinters away. He then polished the ring and placed it into your open hand with a soft smile.

You waited for Sirius by the counter, buzzing with excitement. You couldn't wait to give him his gift. Nor could he, you realized, when he strolled over to you, picked you up and kissed you hard on the lips, turning around on the spot.

You exchanged the rings outside, after you paid your due, eyes close to not cheat. Sirius counted to three, you both opened your eyes. Though you weren't checking out your gift, wanting to see your husband's reaction. His eyes cleared of the storm they usually bathed into, gleaming like the gems they were, filling with tears. He looked at you, locking your gazes, hoping you understood what he couldn't articulate.

You smiled at him and broke the gaze to brush it over the curved letters on the inside of your smooth, shining ring. Hiccups shook your body periodically as you pushed your body into his, letting him know your feelings through the dead grip you had on him. There are no moments lost in life.

Yearning

You watched Sirius laughing with his friends, emanating genuine warmth. You already said goodbye to yours and waited for him to walk you home as a suitor should. The Quidditch match was good, but already a distant memory as you replaced all the sensations of the day with those minutes of Sirius between the marauders.

James, he hugged tight. The men patted each others back and you wished Sirius would be as vulnerable around you. Lily, he gave a side hug, pulling her close with an arm hanging casually around her neck from behind. And jealousy strung your heart's chords, picturing yourself in her place. The ease with which Sirius shook Remus' hand, the gesture turning into a hug on its own accord left you longing for that affection. The playfulness he showed towards Peter, messing the shortest marauder hair and patting his shoulders made you wish for more in your relationship with the Black heir.

But you couldn't ask for it. It has to be natural. It'd never be. After all, he Sirius didn't want this marriage. Neither did you... or so you wanted to believe.

Zenith (highest point)

You and Sirius walked next to each other on the dark, narrow alley. Your hand itched to clasp his and, maybe, if he allowed it, entwin your fingers. Snuggle your body to his side against the cold, breath in his smell and sigh contently as he wraps an arm around you, drawing circles on your own arm with his palm to warm you up.

Sirius dared a quick glance at you. He didn't want to admit that he wished he could tap your shoulder and turn your attention to him. Lean in and planting a kiss to your lips, nuzzling his cold nose in the warm crock of your neck. Pull you into his body and hug you tightly until you both forget about the chilly night around you. You wouldn't need light, he thought, you'd just feel. And you'd be home.

Your fingers toyed in the nest of your joined palms in front of you. The silence was overbearing. You needed to say something or your mind would implode. Except, what were you to say? There is not a time that you remember when you were so nervous and tongue tied as now.

Before finding the right starter for a conversation, a thunder broke the sky. It was a useless warning, for, as soon as the sound evaporated in the air, sharp and heavy rain begin to fall. The big droplets attacked the unlucky few still out on the London's streets at such an unholy hour.

"Shit," you whispered and Sirius couldn't help the sneaker vibrating through his throat.

"It's just water, y/n," he laughed, tilting his head back and catching the rain on his tongue in bliss. You watched him entranced, lips parted to make the fastening breathing easier.

Suddenly, his fingers curled around your wrist, gripping it tighter and moving your body around him. Sirius guided you in a silly dance, jumping over puddles, trying to sway in between the drops, as impossible as you both knew it was. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in the feeling. The cold punctures on your skin, the warmth of the man you realized you love at your side, the purity of the moment, the intensity of it all.

Sirius took a wet lock of hair between his fingers, pulling it off your forehead. Smiling down at you, he leaned over to shield you from the rain. You shook your head, a teasing chuckle echoing in the small space between the two of you. Without warning, you jumped to the side and ran. Sirius gasped, hot on your heels.

He chased you. He chased you and he was enjoying it as much as you did. You couldn't remember playing as a child and could bet he didn't have many such core memories either. At least not until Hogwarts. So you dragged the game on for as long as you could. You led him through parks and between tall buildings, through public gardens and parking lots. Until you were soaked to the bone and found shelter under the roof of a small, closed, muggle shop.

"Merlin," Sirius said out of breath once he caught up with you. His hands rested on his hips, forehead pressed to the top of your head. "Got you."

You beamed up at him then you both burst out laughing. "That was," you sighed, "amazing. The whole day was so fun, Sirius."

"Told you you'd like it." His mumble was deafened by the howler of the rain. He pulled back, just in time to see you roll your eyes, before noting your shivers. Gently, he pulled back, placing his leather jacket on your shoulders.

"Thanks."

Sirius nodded, but his sight became hooded. Lost. As did yours, staring into each other eyes. The whole day you both tried to avoid each other. Thinking that the growing feelings weren't reciprocated. Hoping to smother them down. And failing miserably.

Now? Now neither of you could hide it anymore. The pain in your chests, needing each other for solace. Sirius leaned in as you pushed your head up, the sounds of the street dizzying into one collective noise, dimmed by the butterflies inside yourselves. All you could hear was Sirius' hoarse breath. All he could hear was yours ragged one.

Your foreheads touched first. Then your noses bumped, getting a breathy, short laugh out of each of you. His palm cam to pressure at the back of your neck, holding you in place, as his other arm snaked around your waist. Your own hands smothered his shoulders before entwining fingers at his back.

When your mouths met, your lips parted and stretched into two wide smiles. Your teeth clicked together as you kissed, pulling apart for air only to lock your lips back in joyous, honest kisses.

[theblindgoddess]

Heyo, so like, I should be working on that scarian fic I told you guys about, but like, I'm instead going to tell you guys about a new dream smp au I have simmering in the back of my brain. But I don't feel like typing out the whole story for it right now, so like I'm just gonna give you guys the basic bare bones of the au and if you like I'll make a second post with more details I guess.

So this is a generation swap au, so like all the old people are young and all the young people are old. Mostly, some people don't get swapped because it just fit the plot better. I'm gonna give you guys a basic ish run down of all the characters, at the end will be a list of those I don't know what I'm going to with yet and if I don't list a character it's either because they don't have a place in the overall plot of the au or because I forgot about them. Also got some extra context, the server that they live in has been with out an admin for a while. One day years back the man just disappeared without a trace, and as such many different city states were made to have some kind of government and structure in the world.

Tommy

Part of the older generation now, and just in general the weird server hobo. His only friend is Purpled and the man has some serious trust and abandonment issues. The abandonment issues arise partly from the fact that this is also an experiment innit au. Tommy is basically a slightly magic robot with an artificial soul, and the scientists who made him would never fail to remind him that because of that he "isn't real" and that no one would love him. He eventually escapes and goes on to live a life in the real world. In the begining of the story, no one knows he's not human.

Purpled

Is one of the older ones and is Punz's older brother. Hes a mercenary and will do just about anything if paid enough. Tommy pays him very well. Purpled does care about Tommy as a friend and not just a walking wallet, and he tries to mitigate some of Tommy's worse habits, but ultimately takes that stance that it's not his business and if Tommy doesn't want to change them to just leave it alone.

Fundy

Fundy is now the tired parent of three. Man needs a break and is constantly having to clean up the messes his kids make. Sally is also his sister, and a fish goddess. Fundy is very much not a god of any kind and is a fox. No one understands it, least of all him. He is very tired of being one of the only responsible adults around.

Wilbur

Fundy's oldest son and the only biological one. Dont really have much for him yet, but he's there! If you guys have any ideas let me know.

Techno

MIDDLE CHILD TECHNO SUPREMACY LETS GOOOOOO! Fundy was just in the Nether one day when he found a piglin child sitting on the ground talking to himself and said 'guess I'm a father of two now'. When introducing people to Techno, Fundy will always refer to him as 'the only normal one'. Techno, the child with the murderous voices in his head chanting for blood, is Fundy's 'normal' kid.

Philza

Fundy's youngest kid, and no one really knows where he came from. He just kinda appeared in Fundy's house one day, covered in blood not his own, with a sizable number of crows surrounding him, and said 'im your problem now'. Fundy just sighed and went back to bed. These crows that follow Phil around are, obviously, servants to Kristen, the goddess of death. The crows follow Phil around because he is a tiny bit murder happy, and where there is lots of murder, there is lots of death. One day in the begining of the story Philza somehow accidentally finds his way into the realm of death, a place no living being should be able to go, and if they do end up there, they won't be alive for much longer. While their Phil meets Kristen the goddess of death and falls head over heals for her. Also, Phil is at that point in puberty where he is finally able to grow facial hair, and he is very proud of the soup strainer mustache he has.

Charlie

Charlie is a few years older then Tommy. We meet him later on in the story.

Dream

Dream is in the younger generation and has just moved to this server with two of his friends. Dream also has some minor admin powers. He just moved to a server who's admin went missing years ago. As you can tell, this is going to cause some trouble and attract the attention of some not nice people.

George and Sapnap

I know that they will be here and are Dreams friends, but that's about it. If you can give me some ideas please do.

Quackity

He's one of the youngest characters at 14. He was born in the city states of Las Nevadas, one of the most powerful and wealthiest city states. He is currently couch surfing inlue of having a place to stay and an adult to take care of him. Fundy has tried multiple times to convince Quackity to move in with him, because while he is very tired of his children he still understands that children need adult supervision and since no one else is doing it he has to be the responsible one. Quackity refuses every time and tries to avoid Fundy so he doesn't have to deal with that conversation. Quackity insists that he can take care of himself.

Tubbo and Ranboo

Tubbo and Ranboo have been married for many years now. Around the time they got married they removed themselves from civilization and have lived isolated in the snowy mountains since then, along the way adopting their son Michael, who is 10 when the story takes place. Later on in the story they move back to civilization per Fundy and Aimsey's request of help.

Punz

Purpled's younger brother and he becomes good friends with Dream, but that's all I have for him at the moment.

Karl

The Weird Kid™. Everyone is pretty sure that he has parents and a house to go back to every night, but no one knows for certain and every time someone tries to ask him he changes the subject. But one time Fundy was able to get some information on his living situation out of Karl, but when Karl started going on about sheep people Fundy gave up and went back to his own difficult children.

Schlatt

Jack, don't know

Here's the characters I don't know what to do with yet. I'll also list if they are getting swapped or not or if I don't know.

Schlatt is in his late teens and is the nephew of both Puffy and Tubbo. No one knows where his parents are. Schlatt lives with Puffy and generally just goes around causing chaos.

Niki, don't know

Puffy, don't swap

Aimsy, swap

Sam, don't know leaning towards don't swap

Ponk, same as sam

Eret, swap

Foolish, swap

Hanna rose, don't swap

That's it for now.

[kachuuyaa]

Hi hi hi I am back with some new fucking incorrect quotes before school drags me to me inevitable downfall

Also I think it would be really funny if we go by the original au of Dazai and Chuuya falling to Genshin with BSD! Reader following right after, but with Fyodor. He just kinda, is there but makes everything worse regardless. Rat man..

---

Dazai: it's kinda gay to work at the port mafia

Chuuya, eye twitching: I'm gay

BSD! Reader, regardless of gender, fruity:

Fyodor: yeah it's because you work at the port mafia

---

Fyodor: about wine: grapes are easy to aquire and easy to eat.

Reader, wine connoisseur: if you say anything more on this topic I'm going to murder you.

Diluc, wine maker, who has to deal with more wine menaces other than Kaeya: do it

---

Reader: I'm going to bed

Chuuya: ??? Okay, but it's morning.

Reader: it sure is

Chuuya: a new day JUST started

---

Fyodor: you're looking cute today

Dazai, whipping out a gun: you better say no homo I the next 3 seconds or I'm making this everyone's problem

Dazai: 1

Fyodor:

Dazai: 2

Fyodor:

Dazai:

Fyodor:

----

Sara: and here's your sticky honey roast!

Fyodor: it's dry.

Reader: [spits on it, steps on it, throws it out the window] how about now

Reader: you bitch

Fyodor: I hate life.

---

Dazai: I can't open this jar!

Kaeya: yeah, that's because its--

Reader: [opens it like a jar]

Kaeya: -A can. What the fuck?

---

Dazai: I have an idea.

Reader:

Dazai: I said I have an idea

Reader: I'm ignoring you.

---

Reader: so if you paint your finger tips with clear nail polish, you won't leave fingertips.

Childe: shoot that's actually really helpful information. Thanks!!

Jean, Kaeya, Amber, and Eula, who are the genshin equivalent of the authorities: ...Helpful for what exactly?

Fyodor: murder?? It's kind of a given here.

---

Reader: where are you?

Any of the BSD boys: at the church.

Reader: ...you good?

Them: no.

Reader:

Them:

Reader:

Them:

Reader: So are you gonna elaborate?

---

Reader, fucking with Dainsleif: my biological parent told me when I was born had reptile skin.

Dainsleif: what

Reader: I had very dry skin

Dain: No you did not

Reader: yes I did

Dain: childbirth is not a dry experience.

Fyodor: how do you know that? Have you given birth

Diluc, who overheard everything: this conversation is over.

---

Albedo: okay this says "shake well before feeding"

Fyodor: [picks up the baby to shake them]

Albedo: Mr. Dostoevsky. Who's child is that

---

Fyodor, trying to get information: so what do you do if someone makes an allegation against you

Dazai: see you later alligator

Childe: I fight them

Reader: murder

Kaeya: blackmail

Fyodor: thank you gentlepeople I have finished my report.

--

Fyodor: I'm eating raw apple juice

Lisa: raw?

Reader: [nodding] raw.

Lisa: as in straight out the apple?

Fyodor: yes.

---

Kaeya: so how are you feeling?

Reader, chronic liar: pretty good.

Kaeya, another chronic liar: no need to lie to me.

Reader:

Kaeya:

Reader:

---

Reader: man it's like my bones are broken

Dainsleif: where you're going, you don't need bones.

Traveller:What??? Where are we going??

Dainsleif, Kaeya, and Albedo, the Khaenri'ahn boys: Khaenri'ah

---

Fyodor, after 1 drink, not because he's drunk, but because he's just like that: did you know. The mouth of a jellyfish is also its anus. I just though that was interesting.

Reader: looking at Diluc and his claymore: i want this man gone

---

Reader: when you die I will play Jenga with your bones.

Fyodor: you want to play with my chalky bones?

Dazai, to Chuuya and the other GI characters: I told you they were getting along

---

Dazai: I had a dream where Y/N was about to kill me because they went insane and did some very morally questionable things, but you saved me

Chuuya, with Fyodor slung over his shoulder, hauling Dazai's bony ass up: Dazai that was not a dream. Now get up we have to run. They're coming.

----

Reader, talking to any vision wielder about ruin guards: fuck a vision I'll just kill them (with my bare hands)

---

(Take 1)

Chuuya: so this is how you make faggottini, a cheese filled type of pasta--

Reader: Italians, count your fucking days

---

(Take 2)

Fyodor and Childe: [exist]

Reader: Russians, count your fucking days.

---

Klee: would you fight me?

Reader: how old are you?

Klee: 10

Reader: yea

Reader: whip you upside down, spin you around like a ceiling fan, yes baby girl is will.

Klee, gasping: how old are you?!

Reader: 20ish

Klee: we're like freaking 10 years apart!

Reader: I'm glad you know how to do math

Klee: my mom is 31, try me

Reader: I shoot, I hope she can shoot back

---

Klee, sniffing Fyodor:

Fyodor:

Klee: you kinda smell

Fyodor: what the f-

Klee: like a baka

Fyodor:

Klee: eren yaeger

Reader, wheezing in the background:

----

I have to give credits to @/ratdoodoo666 on Twitter for a lot of these gold quotes but I just thought it was too fucking funny to pass up

Also I hope I did justice (hopefully) making this longer jdhdhdbd (although some of these might classify under offensive humor depending on how you see it?? Sorry in advance if they make you uncomfortable)

🐗 anon

HIIII 🐗 ANON I LIVE FOR THESEEE THNAK YOU FYODOR IS HERE 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ my meow meow mass murderer

i read through all of these n i loved the jenga one a lot

alllsooo dw u did not make me uncomfy in anyway hehe I loved rhese a lot u dont need to be concerned :)

[pallasperilous]

Funny Bone

The other day Supernatural9917 threw out this meme as a cracky Halloween Dean/Cas prompt and I was SO MAD, because I then had to write it:

And so here it is. Goddammit.

Funny Bone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761150 Words: 4930 Castiel/Dean Winchester Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, No Angels AU, Men of Letters Bunker, Mild Gore Mature (mentions of lewd acts, canon-typical violence, and some truly horrible pickup lines)

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Discovering the bunker in the first place was a helluva surprise. The whole facility is legitimately batshit; Dead Guys of Letters knew how to live (and, apparently, die. All at once.).

But after plowing through a dozen rooms worth of priceless treasures and crusty boobytraps, even Sam was looking kinda full up on shock and awe.

“We can hit the basement tomorrow,” he said. There was a big smudge of dust across his nose and some cobwebs in his hair.

“Nuh uh,” Dean answered, kicking the door shut with the toe of his boot. “If there’s shit still kicking down there, we gotta clean it out before it cleans us out. It’s that or we’re sleepin’ in the car.”

“Ugh,” Sam said, as if twenty minutes ago he hadn’t been losing his mind over a rare book about werewolf hemorrhoids.

So discovering that the basement included a no-shit actual dungeon felt more like an unanticipated bonus, and stumbling across a skeleton while exploring it barely even registered. Skeletons and dungeons! They go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor, inside a big circle of greasy black ash.  It looked a little mildewy in in places. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland.

It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

“Welp,” Dean had said, holstering his gun and wiping his hands on his jeans. “We’re all clear. Let’s head back upstairs, salt the shit out of everything, and then we can pick up some groceries.”

“Do I get to buy a vegetable that doesn’t fit in a bun, or are we still in the refractory period?” Sam snarked from the corridor.

“I don’t see you cookin’, “ Dean started, shuffling back towards the hall, and that’s when the skeleton butted in.

“Are those astronaut pants?” it asked. “Because your ass is outta this world!”

Dean absolutely did not scream, but it’s possible there was a yelp. 

He almost unloaded a clip into it – unclear what that would’ve possibly done, but it’s good to start with the simple, available solutions. Next he nabbed the lighter fluid off of Sam and dumped out half a pound of kosher salt as a chaser and set the fucker alight.

This does not have the intended effect.

“Baby, I’d like to put my meat on your grill,” the skeleton says, greenish flames dancing between its ribs, “because you’re hot, and I’m smokin’.” Then it sits up a little, just enough to shoot Dean some finger guns.

“What the fuck,” Dean says.

Sam makes a little evaluatory noise. “Sexually harassed by a skeleton,” he chuckles. “I think that’s a new one. Even for you. Is that a new one? I know a lot of strange shit went down in Purgatory.”

The skeleton perks up even more at that, grungy eye sockets sweeping up and down Dean’s body. “Are you a time traveler?” it asks. (Maybe he asks, because the voice is pretty deep and dude-ish, although possibly just on account of its vocal cords being leather shoelaces.)

“Wh…no, I’m not a time traveler,” Dean fibs. He’s more of a time trafficking victim, anyway. “Oh, wait, god,” he says. “Please don’t tell me you’re asking that because –“

“– I can see you in my future,” the skeleton finishes, eagerly, and Dean really wishes this thing had eyebrows so he could tell if they’re waggling.

“Yeah, okay. That’s enough for today,” Dean groans. “I need a drink.” He starts to back out of the room as a pre-emptive strike against Bones commenting on how he hates to see Dean leave, but loves to watch him go. Dean’s working on stumbling back again Sam’s left shoe when the skeleton pipes up one last time, this time with a husky, anxious edge.

“I realize that Purgatory isn’t accessible through a simple chronological shift,” it says, teeth chattering. “But it does require travel between modalities, and if you’re capable of that, I would very much like to speak with you again.”

Dean and Sam’s heads slowly swivel back towards the skeleton, like two little pizzas on the same Lazy Susan.

 An hour later, they’re still in the dungeon, working on dousing the skeleton with every possible anti-bad-stuff solution they’ve got, just in case he’s a vampire skeleton or a ghoul skeleton or a witch skeleton or maybe just a wendigo that’s incredibly bad at its job. In between progress reports, he’s still hitting on Dean.

“Dude, don’t you have an off switch somewhere?” Dean asks him.

“Well, Dean, you certainly make me feel like a light switch,–“

“– because you turn me on,” all three of them say in unison.

The skeleton looks a little embarrassed, which is kind of impressive when you think about it. “You’ve…heard that one before?” he asks.

“I spend a lot of time in bars,” Dean deadpans. “Okay, sage is a no-go.”

Sam strikes a line off on the clipboard he found upstairs. “Is this part of a curse or something?” he asks, glancing up at Bones. “Like on top of being a sentient skeleton, you can only speak in horrible pickup lines?”

The skeleton shakes his head, which produces a sound Dean recognizes from his kneecaps on cold mornings. “No, the spellwork allows me to speak freely on most subjects; except who I am, or how to free me. But it’s helpful to use language modern humans can easily understand.”

“Huh. Well, in a way, it is Dean’s native tongue,” Sam says, smirking.

“You shut your face,” Dean hisses.

“When I first saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I try yours on for size?” Bones asks Dean.

“Buddy, I don’t know where you get your information from, but nobody actually talks that way,” Dean tells him. “Nobody sober, anyway. Who isn’t a virgin.”

The skeleton slumps. “I learned from my last visitor. He tried to release me on several occasions, but he either died or abandoned the project.”

Dean arches a brow. “The project being…you?”

“I would be very valuable under the right circumstances.” The skeleton shrugs and casually holds out an arm for Dean to scrape at with the demon blade. “He gave me lessons in modern vernacular as a way to pass our time together.”

“Sounds like a peach,” Dean says, before he can catch himself. “If you have a peach-related pickup line in there, man, you’d better just sit on it.”

“That’s what-“

“I will smash you with a hammer,” Dean barks.

The skeleton relents, but with obvious reluctance.

 They call it quits before Kansas rolls up the sidewalk for the night and leaves them stranded with nothing but two Clif bars and a gross of septuagenarian cans of franks ’n beans. Bones shifts nervously when Dean leaves – “Which is better, pancakes or waffles?” he asks.

“Pancakes,” Dean says, with a sense of grim duty.

“Because I’d like to know what you’re making me for breakfast,” says Bones, his voice trailing off as Dean books it down the stony corridor.

  By lunch the next day (bologna sandwiches, so sue him, he’ll make something good later) they’re pretty sure that Bones doesn’t pose any known, immediate threat – other than to Dean’s sanity – so they switch gears to springing him. Maybe he will be worth something, or maybe he’ll crumble into dust and Be Free, or maybe he’ll just stop being chained to the basement wall, in which case he can become their skeleton butler or something.

There are weird runes on the ankle cuff, so Sam snaps some quick photos and heads upstairs to feel up the library. This leaves Dean in the basement with Bones, some good old-fashioned power tools, and Bones’s ex-suitor’s gross sense of humor.

“You know I can understand you just fine when you’re talking normally,” Dean says. “You’re just reciting some prehistoric shit that idiots say to girls to get a pity-laugh, hoping it leads to a pity-fuck.”

“What’s a pity-fuck?” Bones asks, all mildewy innocence. Dean’s pretty sure the grunge in his eyeball sockets is dried eyeball.

“Pretty much what it says on the tin, my guy,” Dean answers, and reaches for the acetylene torch.

 “Enochian,” Sam says, when Dean surfaces for another sandwich and possibly a beer. He’s really disappointed about the torch.

“Gesundheit?” Dean replies, around a mouthful of bologna. Like everything else here, the kitchen is pretty schwa, although the inside of the fridge required three exorcisms and half a jug of bleach.

Sam paws around the smelly old book in a way that makes Dean feel sorry for the girls Sam dated in high school. “The symbols on the cuff. I think they’re Enochian. It’s a fake celestial language made up by some sixteenth century con artists.”

Dean coughs up a bit of Wonder Bread. “I respect the hustle, but what’s it doing on an ankle cuff in a dungeon younger than Mickey Mouse?”

Sam frowns. “Well, it could be for show. But just because some nutbars made it up doesn’t mean it’s totally powerless. Maybe it does have some kind of…heavenly mojo.”

“Liwl probbem,” Dean observes, finishing off his sandwich. “Def nuh heggen.”

“Huh?”

Dean takes a swallow of beer. “I said: there’s no heaven.”

Sam shrugs. “We didn’t think there was a Purgatory, either.”

“Okay, but if we find out angels are real,” Dean snorts, “then Bones can fuck me in the ass.”

 Sam reports his findings to Bones, who sits placidly on the back of his pelvis, carpals splayed out on his kneecaps. What’s even holding him together? Dean can see what’s left of his ligaments, but they look like petrified gas station jerky.

“Do you know what they mean?” Sam asks him, pointing at the sigils.

Bones’s jaw creaks open a little, then closes again, and then he shakes his skull (something rattles inside.) Finally he makes a little frustrated noise and replies – “Baby, are you a book? Because I’d like to check you out.”

“Hey!” says Dean. “Keep it in your pants, man, I’m right here.”

Sam squints. “I think…Dean, I think he’s trying to tell us something, but the spell on him means he can’t say it directly.”

Bones clenches his fists, releases them, clenches them again.

“Yeah. Keep him talking. Let’s see how close he can get.”

Clack clack clack.

“Uh,” Dean says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. Do I need to, like. Give you some kinda opening?” he asks Bones.

“Sweetheart, I’d like nothing better,” Bones answers, then clacks his knuckles on his brow with exasperation.

“Sorry, Christ. Hit me with your best shot, buddy. Dealer’s choice.”

Bones clears his…ghost throat? and tries: “Tell me, Dean…did it hurt?”

Dean blinks. “When I…fell from heaven?”

Sam claps his hands. “Fucking knew it. It is Enochian, and it does have something to do with this. I think he wants me to check the library for another book. Maybe there’s one misshelved or something that I can actually use to translate. Or I can Google around, maybe there’s a subreddit.”

Dean’s pretty sure Bones has never heard of a Google or a subreddit (for that matter, does Dean actually know what a subreddit is?), but it seems like there’s a glimmer of hope deep in those scum-holes.

 Sam gets translations for a few of the words – “obedience” and something he’s fifty percent sure means “millstone” – but the rest is still gobbledygook, and he hasn’t come down with another update in hours. The dungeon is pretty roomy, but it’s not like there’s a foosball table or a cable TV pickup down there, so Dean and Bones wind up lying on the cold-ass ground, staring up into the dark reaches of the ceiling together and, like. Chatting.

Occasionally Bones goes quiet and Dean glances over at him. He really could just be a totally normal, completely dead dungeon skeleton. A good power washing and the right mounting hardware and he’d be ready for a high school biology classroom.

“So if these runes are a celestial thing, does that mean you’re some kinda demonic...thing?” Dean asks. “Cause I gotta say, you’re a much less of a douche than the demons I’ve met.” He snorts. “I know you probably can’t say.”

Bones sighs (how? With what lungs?). “The last person who tried to free me was a demon.” He shifts a little, maybe surprised that he can say this out loud. “It had been so long since somebody had spoken to me…I’m afraid I came close to actually enjoying his company. But he was no better than his kind usually are.”

“Don’t suppose you caught his name? Maybe Sam or me killed him for you already.”

“He called himself—no, I can’t say it.” He makes a sound resembling a harumph.

Then his skull creaks over to look at Dean. “Does your name start with ‘C’?” he says, very deliberately.

Dean is momentarily puzzled, but he works it out by the time Bones wincingly adds “…because I’ve got a D that wants to come behind you.”

There aren’t too many demons under the “C” tab in Dean’s blood-stained mental rolodex, and when he says the name out loud, Bones makes a sound like an entire set of dominos being thrown down a spiral staircase.

  Crowley is pretty pissed, which is fun.

It’s nice that the dungeon floor already has a perfect trap on the floor; they don’t even have to hit up Ace Hardware for paint. A damp shop cloth and a little nail polish (Wet ’n Wild in “Red Red,” don’t leave home without it) brings it right up to working order.

“Why does it smell like a nail salon fucked a bloody wine cellar?” Crowley says, after he’s settled down a bit. He manifested right in the creepy torture chair (in the shackles, even! What service!) and he made some escape attempts followed by angry noises about rust stains. Now he’s recovered his dignity and has kicked back a bit, legs crossed, fingers steepled, oozing maximum levels of 2 cool 4 school.

“How do you know what a nail salon smells like?” Dean retorts.

“I get a monthly mani-pedi. There’s no shame in a little self-care, boys.” Crowley’s eyes trickle down to their feet. “Imagine what fungal horrors those work boots must conceal.” Then he squints, and looks up, finally taking in the whole room. “Could swear I’ve been here before. Little upscale for you, isn’t it? Did we splurge for a vacation rental?”

“Crowley, why don’t we roleplay Titanic?” Bones growls from the wall behind him, and Crowley’s face goes slack. “I’ll be the iceberg, and you can go down.”

Crowley swallows and slowly twists back, as far as the shackles let him. “Feathers, is that you? Well, as I live and breathe.”

“You do neither,” says Bones, with so much gravelly contempt that Dean suppresses a little shiver.

“Oh, I still breathe now and then, when the mood takes me. I’m a sentimentalist.” Crowley cranes his neck a little harder and squints into the dim. “Goodness, you’ve dropped some weight since we last spoke, haven’t you. Finally let go of all that pesky soft tissue?”

Bones tilts forward and kind of clatters onto hands and knees, then tipsily begins to rise up to standing. Dean’s a little concerned he’s gonna topple right over and they’re gonna spend the next two hours collecting him in a basket, but when he moves to help out, Bones waves him off. After a couple false starts he makes it up onto his feet bones and then shuffles out to the end of his chain, right under one of the overhead lights. He’s still a good couple feet off from Crowley, but Crowley looks like he wouldn’t mind a few extra acres.

Bones sways a little bit, just enough for Crowley to wince. “You didn’t come back.”

“I got busy.”

Sam shifts impatiently. “What is he?” he snaps, gesturing at Bones.

“Exceedingly dull,” Crowley says. “I should’ve guessed you were friends.”

Dean uncorks a fresh bottle of holy water.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Crowley amends, quickly. “And even if you did, you wouldn’t know what to do with him. It’d be like giving a laptop to a pair of howler monkeys.”

Dean puts his thumb over the mouth of the water bottle and holds it over Crowley’s head. “Try me.”

Crowley scoffs, rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he is, since he’s useless as long as he’s chained up. And I wouldn’t have left him down here if I had a single clue how to smuggle him out.  I haven’t even been in here since the Bay of Pigs; I’d worked a loophole in one of the defense spells here that let me in. When it broke down, I lost my exploit. Wasn’t worth the bother after that.”

Dean slides his thumb a millimeter north of a perfect seal, and a fat drop of water busts its ass open on Crowley’s forehead and sends up a thin line of steam. “Good thing I’ve got a limitless supply of bother,” Dean notes. “Sam, we still got those syringes in the trunk?”

Crowley snarls. “Go ahead and melt me like the cartoon shoe in Roger Rabbit, it’s not going magically make me come up with a solution.”

Bones grunts and rattles his leg chain. “Do you speak Spanish, Crowley? Because you look like the Juan for me.”

“Did I teach you that one? You absolute xylophone.” Crowley glances back at Dean. “Do your worst, Squirrel, I deserve it.”

Sam frowns. “He uses the lines to get around the spell’s speech restrictions. This is something about speaking languages…were you able translate the Enochian symbols on his cuff?”

Crowley blinks. “What symbols?”

 After a whole lot of faffing around with mirrors and terrible cellphone photography, they confirm that Crowley can’t see the symbols at all.

“More demon-proofing. Clever little buggers, those Men of Letters,” Crowley sighs. “A real shame they were peeled and eaten like bananas.”

Finally Sam just hunkers down with a pencil and pad to transcribe the entire ankle cuff, and Dean awkwardly holds up Bones’s ankle, like he’s being sized for a glass slipper. When they shove the results in Crowley’s face, Dean watches his eyes dart along the words.

“Well, it’s your lucky day, boys. Along with the usual wankery, there are instructions on how to release the cuff. I can translate it,” he finally says, with an unusually low inflection of bullshit, “but I’ll thank you to release me, first.”

Dean is flummoxed. “What, you’re not gonna haggle for a cut of the profits or anything?”

“Activating the release mechanism will free him completely, and restore his…restore him. I’d rather be at a safe distance.” He glances back at Bones, looming in the shadows. “A continent or three should do the trick.”

“If it doesn’t work–“

“I’d be more worried about what happens if it does,” Crowley sighs.  “But feel free to summon me back for tea and sympathy. Here, I’ll even give you my number. But please, no personal photography. I pity you enough as it is.”

  Crowley finally smokes out, and Dean has a beer to celebrate while Sam looks over the list of what they need and Bones clatters his fingertips like castanets. The ingredients are (as always) larded with shit that’s exotic and expensive; Sam is looking crestfallen at some of the items. “I’ve heard of all of this, but I’ve only seen maybe half of it for sale anywhere.”

“Baby, are you a yard sale? Because you’ve got some serious junk in that trunk,” Bones monotones. He’s back to lying on the floor.

At least it’s getting easier to translate this shit. “They’ve got all the ingredients here somewhere,” Dean says. Sam looks skeptical. “C’mon, Sam, no way these dudes would use a lock when they didn’t have the key.”

The ensuing scavenger hunt takes a few pints of elbow grease, but at least by the end they’re both familiar with the Bunker’s floor plan, document filing system, and inventory records. They find virtually everything in-house, though they do end up driving to the nearest farm stand for some hen’s eggs and rosemary (and heirloom tomatoes, because they look bomb).

Dean christens – or maybe exorcises – the kitchen range with some red meat, and they fuel up with burgers before taking the plunge. Dean’s still licking the ketchup off his fingers when Bones pipes up one last time. “Can I ask you something?” he says.

Dean and Sam brace for impact.

Bones sighs. “That’s not the start of a pickup line. I genuinely have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why are you so intent on freeing me? You could have just left me down here. I’m not a threat this way. You only have Crowley’s word that you might profit - or suffer - from my release.”

Sam gives Dean a look; it’s the look that says I sure hope you have an answer, because I think this entire thing has been dumb as shit and half as necessary. It’s a look Sam uses pretty regularly.

“Uh. It’s the right thing to do? As far as I can tell, you haven’t hurt anybody or done anything else to deserve being down here. We went through all those records upstairs, and there’s no note that says ‘by the way, that skeleton downstairs eats babies for breakfast.’ This place is cool, but the dudes who built it were obviously shady as fuck.”

“I see.” Bones sounds a little disappointed.

Sam fake-coughs into his hand, and Dean sets down his paper napkin. “Also, you seem cool. Like, you’re easy to hang out with. Other than the stinky one-liners, and we’re gonna wean you off of those.”

Bones straightens himself out a little. “Thank you, Dean. You know, on a scale of one to ten, I’d rate you a nine.”

“Okay, okay. Why not a ten?”

Bones sets his chin on his knuckle bones with a tidy little clack. “Because I’m the one you’re missing.”

Dean groans, but he thinks the guy might be smiling, somewhere behind that skeletal grin.

 By hour two, Sam’s pretty tuckered out from pulverizing a billion and three mummified dove livers while reciting nonsense syllables, and Dean’s right arm is about to fall off from holding up this giant silver swizzle stick that’s either a really weird short sword or a decorative javelin, but Bones has never looked perkier. He’s lying on a nice white bedsheet and looking fresh as a recently exhumed daisy.

“Okay,” Sam rasps. “Light the candle and we should be good to go. Any last words, Bones?”

“Are either of you religious?” He crosses his arm bones over each other.

“Fuck no,” Dean answers, before Sam gets a chance to launch into it.

Bones shakes his skull fondly. “You should reconsider. Because you’re the answer to my prayers.”

Dean makes a gagging noise and lights the candle.

 What happens next (well, after the cuff pops open) is some of the freakiest shit that Dean has ever seen, and his Freaky CV is pretty fucking impressive, thanks. Bones tells them to avert their eyes, “just in case”, but he takes a peek between his fingers anyway, because he’s an idiot.

For a second Bones is just lying there, and Dean has a second of real disappointment that maybe he’s Moved On Past The Veil or something, but then he starts…foaming. It starts out kind of uniform and colorless, but then it really picks up speed and volume and starts to separate into swaths of distinct and horrible colors and textures. He closes his eyes again for a second to give his stomach a chance to reboot, and when he looks again the foam is gone, and instead there’s a whole lot of angry jelly trying to form into organs.

Just as the jelly is really getting its shit together and looking more like lungs and intestines and stuff, the heart-jelly pulses once and sends out a fistful of big squishy vines…veins? and a fat white worm of nerve scrambles down the spinal column and starts putting out franchises. This is followed by some disturbingly tasty-looking red sheets of muscle that swiftly sheathe over all the whole scene, and then the muscles start sweating out fat and cartilage and this is the point where Dean decides that looking away is actually definitely one hundred percent for the best. Even then, the sounds are tough to handle.

Kinda wild: he’s seen people taken apart, but watching one get put back together is somehow gnarlier. Well, if this guy is even a person. It’s a human skeleton, sure, but god knows even Mickey Rourke has one under there.

Finally everything seems to have quieted down.

“How you doin’ over there, Bones?” Dean asks, and dares to take a peek.

Bones is crouched down in front of them, fists balled up in the bedsheets (it’s a relief that the bedsheets didn’t get accidentally sucked into the muscle layer or something, like one of those surgeons who leaves a sponge behind). Dean sees white guy skin and some dark messy hair and gets the gist of a decent build.

The face slowly cranes upwards, and Dean is really truly ready for anything here; tusks, fangs, Klingon forehead ridges, gingivitis. Instead he gets a faceful of hot math teacher. Bones’s eyes are still closed, but he’s frowning like he’s mentally reviewing his strategy to explain the quadratic equation to a roomful of horny teens.

He slowly rises to standing (yikes! Naked! Dean is a Moderately Bad Man, so he glances, but just long enough to register “nice), uncurling slowly and carefully.

Then he’s all the way up. Bones squares his shoulders and straightens the last kink in his spine, and the frown resolves. Dean’s about to say something, when his eyes snap open, and this cold white light absolutely blasts out of them, and fuck, Crowley wasn’t kidding: this guy is definitely A Thing. The whole room flattens and distorts in the light. Shadows race up the walls like they’re looking for a way out, then snap together into the shape of enormous ragged wings, stretching thirty feet higher than the actual ceiling clearance.

Then the light dies down; the wings fade into regular-grade shadows. Instead of a terrifying unearthly avatar of Oh Shit, Dean’s looking at a buck naked thirty-something math teacher. Who happens to be an unearthly avatar of Oh Shit. And has nice eyes.

“My name is Castiel, angel of the Lord, Seraph of the First Shield,” the avatar says, in a piss-shakingly resonant version of Bones’s voice.

Then: “Do you speak English, Dean?”

“Yes?” Dean fumbles.

“So do I,” says Castiel, and smiles.

Then he makes finger-guns.

  Castiel sticks around for a grand total of five minutes before he’s suddenly gone again, because angels are (a) real and they can (b) teleport? at (c) any moment because (d) fuck you, then he reappears six hours later (clothed) standing over Dean’s bed, having apparently forgotten that humans like to sleep; this time Dean does shoot him, but luckily he doesn’t seem to take it personally.   

“I located Crowley,” Bo- Castiel says. The silver sword-javelin thing is sitting on the kitchen counter in front of him; apparently it’s an Angel Blade and it lives in Castiel’s coat sleeve and can vaporize demons. It doesn’t look like it has any Crowley on it, but maybe it’s self-cleaning.

“Did you kill him?” Dean asks, now that he’s semi-coherent and wrapped around a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

“Not this time,” Cas answers. “He did help, after all.”

“Sure,” says Dean.

“You don’t need to let me fuck you in the ass, either,” Castiel says, and Dean honks some coffee up the back of his nose.

“Oh,” he gasps. “Okay. Cool. Thanks. Didn’t realize you could hear that convo all the way down there.”

“Angels have excellent hearing. Mine wasn’t impacted by the spell.”

Dean can think of at least three very private moments Castiel almost definitely could hear every instant of, and longs for death. Or maybe not, since apparently this guy lives in Heaven and could hear him there, too. “Great. Good to know. Noted.”

“But…” Castiel looks wistful.

“What?” Dean nudges him. Dean Winchester: angel nudger.

Castiel frowns. “If I said…” he stops himself. “This is…what I want to say is very irregular, at least between angels and humans.”

“Jesus christ on a goddamn pogo stick, man. It’s three in the morning, some of us have a circadian rhythm and a limited lifespan. Say whatever it is you gotta say.”

Castiel looks up and drowns Dean in his swimming pool eyes, which Dean has learned belong to a radio ad salesman in Illinois, who Castiel possessed a few years back before jumping several decades into the past to run some errands and getting rope-a-doped by the Men of Letters and then warehoused in their basement; after they all spontaneously bought the farm, he just slowly ran out of the power reserves needed to keep his vessel from turning to mush and hey presto, talking skeleton.

Classic story, really.

“If I said you had a beautiful body, Dean,” Castiel says, solemnly, “Would you hold it against m-“

Dean doesn’t let him finish. {AO3 version}

[lavendersoft]

How to spoil your Jimin. (18+)

Synopsis:  Poly jikook x reader au where Jungkook and the reader have a friendly-ish rivalry where they try to get Jimin’s attention and are constantly possessive over him. Jimin acts like it’s annoying but he secretly loves it. I mean, he does after all get the best of both worlds. Both of his lovers are in “competition” for his affection so he receives lots of gifts, praise, and surprise dates. Little do they know, though, that Jimin’s been “working late” lately on purpose. Maybe he knows that his lover’s have bonding time when he’s gone for a while. Maybe he enjoys fantasizing about what they could possibly be doing...

Pairings: Jungkook x reader, side Jimin x reader, side Jikook

Warnings: Lots of smut, a smidge of angst, tiny pinch of fluff at the end. All around good mix. Jungkook is a little shit but so are you. Pretty short and to the point, porn with only a little plot. Degradation, humiliation, orgasm denial, edging (like a frustrating amount), tears during sex, unprotected sex (don't!), dominant Jk, (forced)subby reader.

Author’s notes: Don't be fooled by the title- this is mostly a Jungkook drabble. I might make a p.2 with Jimin a little more involved but for now enjoy a bratty dom jungkook :)

—

Jimin is working late tonight (again) which means you have the pleasure of spending the night alone with your (beloved) nemesis. Jimin has always been the mediator between you two competitive brats, especially when the verbal play fights get too heated. When he’s not around, though, it’s a free for all. One of two things will happen; you will either act like a civilized, respectable couple- or you will get on each other’s nerves so bad the night ends with a heavy fucking session- with both of you fighting for dominance. You were cooking dinner together and everything was fine until Jungkook’s smart ass decided he wanted to bring up Jimin's birthday gifts that you’d given him over the weekend.

You swear to Jimin that Jungkook always starts it. He really does.

“Didn’t that necklace look so beautiful on my Jimin-ssi?”

Jungkook had given Jimin a silver locket with all of our initials imprinted onto it, with your anniversary date on the inside. It was really cute.

“Dude, that necklace you gave him wasn’t even that cute. My gift was so much better.”

“Oh, okay miss ‘surprise trip to Fiji.’ Next time I'm going all out. You’re not gonna have a chance.”

“Awwww, Kookie don’t be too upset. It’s a trip for three! You won’t mind being the third wheel right?” You tease as you pinch his cheek.

He slaps your hand away with the scoff.

“The only person that’s gonna be third-wheeling is you, Princess.”

“Bet money, Baby Boy.”

He sneers at the nickname.

“I’m older than you.”

Side-eyeing him, you turn back around and finish up the meal. Although you tried, you couldn't shake thing feeling of his eyes searing a hole in your back. 

“You look kinda slutty in those shorts.” He chastises, under his breath.

Ah. It begins.

“Excuse me?” You turn around sad if he’s just slapped you.

“I said you look pretty tonight, babe.”

You roll your eyes at him. It’s definitely gonna be one of those nights.

The evening goes on with Jungkook doing anything and everything in his power to tease and annoy you. The brat knows every single one of your pet peeves and pushes every button and gets on every possible nerve you have.

Eating messily and loudly? Check.

Not helping with the after-dinner cleanup? Check.

Hogging all the blankets in the living room? Check.

Being selfish with the television? Check.

Purposely making a (loud) phone call to Jimin in the middle of your movie? Check.

And to top it all off, doesn’t even let you say bye to Jimin before he hangs up the phone. Fucking check.

By the roll of the movie credits, you’re fuming. After having to listen to the jerk tell Jimin how much he misses and loves him. About how lonely he is without him. You’ll admit, that one stung a little.

Besides all of that though, there is something delicious in the way his grey sweatpants hang loosely on his hips. Something in the way he takes off his white t-shirt and stretches his arms up to the ceiling, showing off the tattoo that line his muscles.

“Well, Princess, it was fun. Night!” He flashes a sarcastic grin before bounding off to the master bedroom.

You really have half a mind to sleep in the guest room. You were actually on your way to the empty room when you pause. No. You’re going to sleep in your own bed tonight. And you’re going to make all this relentless teasing count.

He’s already under the covers when you saunter in, making your way to the dresser. You don’t spare him a look when you bend down to pick out your favorite silk, button-up pajama shirt. You leave the matching pants in the drawer.

Taking your sweet time, you strip off your loose cotton shirt, revealing that you wore nothing underneath. You know he’s watching you from the mirror above the dresser, getting a full view of your bare breast. Still, you pay him no mind when you hear the rustling of the sheets behind you.

You have to hold back a smirk when you bend down once again to slide your shorts down your thighs, giving him a full view of your ass. You were completely naked now, and you can feel the heat of his gaze seer into you. Throwing on the slightly oversized shirt but only fastening the bottom button, leaving your cleavage out just to spite him.

Crawling over to your side of the bed, you lean over him to turn off the lamp on his nightstand.

“Night.” You whisper to him through the dark, before cuddling way to close for him to be comfortable. Your bare behind pressing into his front shamelessly. Just to twist the knife a little, every now and then you’ll act like you need to adjust, wiggling your ass further into him.

You know you’re winning when you hear his breath hitch. Not long after, you feel it. Through the loose confines of his pants, the stiffness.

It takes less than five minutes for him to start pressing into you back. His fingers making soft shapes on your hips, then lowering to your inner thigh.

The hardening of your nipple is hard to dismiss while it rubs along the silk of your shirt.

 His fingers hover right over your heat.

“If you want to stop, tell me now. I’m not gonna go easy on you.”

“Don’t stop, Jungkook.”

With your words, his fingers explore as they please. Passing through your folds, feeling your arousal.

“So wet already. How sweet.” He hisses through his teeth. “Is this all for me, baby?”

All you can do is groan in response when his fingers dive deeper into you, the stretch burns so good. You can’t help your hips rolling back and forth as you ride his hand, your leg lifting to give him better access. His warm lips connect with the back of your neck with intent to mark you, no doubt.

His patience must have worn thin. He pushes you on to your stomach roughly while positioning himself behind you and pulls your hips upward. The view of your center makes his mouth water.

“Spread your legs.”

You oblige but take your time, still not giving in to him. You feel slight movement behind you and you assume it’s him stripping. Your assumptions were confirmed when you feel the head of his cock stroking up and down your dripping slit. You lift your hips a bit further and arch your back a bit deeper in hopes of persuading him.

He sinks into you, letting out a grunt of relief.

His size is almost too much for you to handle so you reach back to place a hand on his lower abdomen to get him to slow his entrance.

He chuckles cruelly.

“Is this all you can do? God, Jimin can take my cock so much better than you.”

The venomous words ignite a fire in you.

“Yeah? Well, Jimin also has a much better dick game than you so bite me, Asshole.” You retort, turning to catch a glimpse at him.

Something in his eyes darkened at this. Without so much as a little warning, he grabs your hips and slams himself into you at full kilter, starting at a bone-chilling pace.

You scream out in both pain and pleasure before burring your face in the sheets in an effort to silence yourself. When he realizes, his thrusts become even harder and you have no choice but to arch your back, eyes rolling into your skull. You hate the way the illicit sounds erupt from you without your consent as if you had no control over your own vocal cords.

“Sorry? What was that? Who has a better dick game than me?” He pairs each verbal jab at you with a hard roll of his hips. Your breathing is shallow now and you can feel everything he has to give. Every stroke, every breath ghosting across your skin, every harsh love bite, every vein that lines his cock.

“J-Jungkook...”

“Answer me.” His tone was deep and labored.

“Fuck you.” You bite back, your second wind of strength hitting you. He doesn't let it doesn't last long, though.

You desperately cling to the bratty facade that you play so well but you can feel it crumble with every groan that slips from him.

And he knows it.

He can tell he’s about to break you, he looks forward to it.

This definitely isn’t the first time you and Jungkook have had sex but the dynamic is slightly off from normal. Usually, the constant power struggle is consistent in your sex life, especially if Jimin is there. You’d die before submitting to Jungkook while Jimin is there to watch. Normally, you’d insist on riding Jungkook to feel more powerful or in control. This is the first time in a long time that you’ve been underneath the younger of your boyfriends. There’s something ever so slightly off about tonight. You couldn't figure out why tonight is the night that your body has decided to give in to Jungkook. Is it because Jimin hasn’t been around much due to work?

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Princess, haven’t you learned yet?”

His hip movements halt as he leans into you, hot breath fanning over the shell of your ear,

“I’ve always been the boss, sweetheart.”

When he starts again, his pace is merciless. He knows he’s on the verge of cracking you. He knows once you show him the submissive side that you usually reserve for Jimin, there would be no going back. He wants to break you. He wants to see that side of you that you only ever give to Jimin. He craves you.

Your fingers clamp around the bedsheets in one last attempt to control yourself. The attempt falls flat when Jungkook lands a hard slap on your ass, then immediately snakes his hand around your body to circle the bundle of nerves that he has oh-so-conveniently neglected. The motherfucker just won't give you a chance to recover.

You’re not it sure what comes over you in that exact moment. Maybe it was your last glimpse of hope that you could salvage the situation and save your dwindling ego by pushing him further.

“Ah! Jimin!”

Instant regret. His body becomes rigid. His pace once again stops completely. His hold is surely to leave bruises on your hips with how tight he holds you. His breath shakes and you know you messed up.

Why? Why would you do that? You’re definitely not gonna be walking properly tomorrow. That itself is gonna bring so much more teasing from him.

He leans over you and his chest makes contact with your back. His hot breath warms the shell of your ear.

“Definitely gonna regret that, you fucking slut.”

And you did. If he wasn’t holding back before, now he was ruthless. He lands several targeted slaps to your ass, making you yelp. He takes himself out of you completely before ramming back inside.

“I could take you and our precious Jimin at the same time if I wanted to. And you’d both take it, wouldn’t you? You’d both be my good little sluts, right?”

You can feel the rumbles of his chest as he spoke, along with that coil winding up in your belly.

The last straw breaks when he reaches around with the same hand that was playing with your clit and wraps his it around your throat, pulling you up from your position on your elbows. He leans in tauntingly close and practically growls in your ear.

“Say it.”

“Yes! Yes!! I’ll be your little slut! Please- I need to cum..”

He grins, high on ecstasy.

“Maybe I'll let you come...” he feigns thoughtfulness, “if you admit my gift was better.”

“But it wasn’t!-“ another harsh thrust silences you.

“Damn it... okay... the necklace was better...”

His hips slow down dramatically, tauntingly, snatching away the orgasm you felt creeping up on you. Yet, he still manages to rub that very specific place inside of you that makes you want to scream and scratch at him. He releases his hold on your throat and pushes you back onto your elbows.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

The tears of pure, white-hot frustration finally break loose.

“The necklace was the better, more thoughtful gift! Jimin probably liked it so much more than mine!! It’s really pretty!”

His movements stop altogether and then pulls out. You whine at the unwanted empty feeling. Time slows down when he grabs you by the thigh and forces you on your back, facing him. He haphazardly throws a leg over his shoulder as he peers down at you with a sadistic, Cheshire-cat grin.

Then, without even the slightest warning, he slams back into you, but he doesn’t start his pace yet.

You didn’t even realize that your nails were making contact with his back and sides until his head rolled back revealing his thick, sweaty neck.

“I knew you were a good girl.”

“Please Jungkook,” you sobbed. “It hurts. Please. I need...” You can’t even bring yourself to finish your pleading.

It might have been your delirious, sex induced state but the way he reaches down to gently wipe away the tears on your face is almost too loving for the situation.

“Shhhhh, okay baby, I got you.” He coos. His voice was mellow, almost as if he was trying to pacify you.

He starts his pace again and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. Your muscles feel like they’re on fire yet also feel ice cold. White dots cloud your vision as you feel your orgasm approach rapidly. It must have been a maximum of twenty minutes that you’ve been fucking, but it feels like hours. Him mercilessly bringing your body to the edge over and over has finally cracked you. You pray he doesn't take this one away from you. No, you’re going to make sure of it-

“Wanna be good.”

“Hm?”

“Wanna be good for you. Wanna take all of you. Wanna be your good girl.” You chant absentmindedly.

“Then be a good girl and come for me.”

That triggers your orgasm immediately. It rips through you mercilessly. You tried to bite down on his skin to muffle your screams but it didn’t work. Right in the middle of your height, you feel a gush of warm liquid pour into you.

“Fuck... Y/n...”

You both feel the way you clench around him as you greedily try to milk him of all he has. He collapses and is essentially dead weight on top of you, but you don’t mind. His warmth is comforting. 

You barely register his arms wrapping tightly around you in the hazy aftermath of your orgasm. There was only the sound of both of your heavy breaths filling the room until,

“You know I love you, right?”

You look down at the way he rests his head on top of your breasts as if they’re pillows.

“You know this whole competitive act is all a game, right? Because I love you. So much.” He leans down to give the valley between your breast a chaste kiss.

This was one of those moments where you wish you could stop time and savor it forever.

Jungkook wasn’t the lovey-dovey type with you most of the time, but the way he peers up at you with those big round eyes filled with so much admiration and that dopey, fond smile he wears proudly, you know he’s not lying.

Again, this wouldn’t be the first time he’s said those three little words to you, and

if you’ve learned anything about him in the time you’ve been together, it’s that he doesn’t say “I love you” unless he undoubtedly, one hundred percent means it.

“I know, baby.” You run your fingers softly through his hair, careful not to tug,

“I love you too.”

--

[chaoticspacefam]

🖊🖊 for Ni'kasi and an oc of your choice 👀

Thanks for the ask, Pinky! apparently my brain has decided “gush” means “throw lots of random fun facts at everyone” today so here we go! Here’s your favourite tomato gal! :3

-She and Saarai were always twins and I’d always intended for them to be close, and the bare-bones basic premise of how I wanted their relationship to work was “Saarai is the brawn and Kas is the brains”. While this is still true, it did evolve ever so slightly in that Saarai is now also the (more reliable) moral compass. Kas isn’t particularly Dark-sided, but she’s not Light-sided either, she’s inherited a lot more of mom’s “I will do what I have to to get a job done even if that means I have to kill a bitch” attitude XD

-When I first came up with the idea for the twins, Kas’s name was originally going to be “Jen” which is the High Sith word for “hidden, or in shadow” (”Saarai” is the High Sith word for “Truth”, for reference ;) ) ; so their names joined together would have meant “Hidden Truth”. I don’t remember where Ni’kasi came from because it isn’t an “actual” Sith word nor does it have particular meaning (though I might try to make one up, we’ll see :P), but the very first time I went to write down solid bios for them I ended up writing “Ni’kasi” instead of “Jen” for her and it’s stuck ever since then.

-Initially, Kas’s colour pallette was a lot lighter, which you can see in all of her screenshots up till now (cause I forgot to change her when I changed the design earlier this year oops :’D) and also in this art piece I ordered of her last year, here:

(art is by @/cerculor on deviantART)

and the twins were very darn near close to being identical, but I decided that I actually rather liked their dad’s more purple-ish skintone earlier this year and that it was a shame neither of the twins looked a bit more like him, so I changed Kas up a bit and gave her dad’s skintone, jaw spurs and eye colour. She’s got mom’s red-tinted hair and (mostly) mom’s ridge/browstalk structure though :D

-Great with her own kids and direct blood relatives (e.g. nieces, nephews, grandchildren), but kinda iffy with other, random children. She won’t hurt them but she’s very much D’leah’s child in that respect, she’s very “Sith-y”, and liable to be abrasive, unsympathetic and so on. Generally not the sort of presence you’d want around your kids... there will definitely be tears hahahaha

-The scar on her eye was originally going to be caused by D’leah in the same fight that she gets Saarai’s nose, when Ni’kasi got between them to try and break up the scuffle, but I retconned that instead when I re-thought some stuff about that so now she gets it from the Inquisitors after they figure out who killed Ty’s dad and come after them.

-This is also how Kas ends up in the slave pens, after they kill D’leah they throw Ni’kasi into slavery (which is a bit of plot armour/oversight on the Inquisitors part, I admit but shhh XD) and figure y’know “she’s never gonna get out of there again”. A lot can happen, and be forgotten, in 60 odd years tho so eventually they do throw her back into the Academy much to Kas’s surprise.

-She has a lot more scars other than the one on her eye, just that most of them are on her back, or the back of her neck, so you generally can’t see them (I haven’t drawn a scar ref for her yet, it is also on the to-do list lol)

And we random-rolled Aria for this one, so more Tiny Sith nonsense!

(art is by @/ocellifera on deviantART)

-Aria’s hairstyle and general appearance actually came about because it was based on my second-favourite “portrait” choice for the PC in KOTOR II. She wasn’t how I saw my version of the Exile looking, but I really liked the design (including the little blonde fringe streak) so I decided I wanted to do something with it! <3

-We don’t get to see it much because usually when I draw her she’s back with the Sith and fully into the “Dark side” portion of her story and therefore her eyes are amber, but here you go, a nice glimpse of Aria’s natural eye colour! As mentioned on Myla’s ask, she has heterochromia as well, though her grey is “lighter” than Myla’s as she inherited the grey from dad and the brown from mom (yes I know technically it doesn’t work like that but basically I couldn’t decide which one I liked better so instead of agonising over the choice I went “one of each, problem solved” XD)

-Aria was actually the very first SWTOR-era OC I made, very closely followed by her dad, Roan, and then Vano, then her mom when I worked on her backstory, and followed by everyone else haha. I created her for an RP on an RP site that got a couple of posts in and then died/my partner ghosted me for whatever reason (I’ve never found out nor does it matter really), I was disappointed because I really liked Aria and didn’t get to “do much” with her, so I recycled her when another RP popped up, used that to build her backstory and prompt me to start the Subterfugeverse and then threw her into the Zephyrverse AU RP with my buddy k-christine once she got back in touch and we started RPing again :D -Aria gave me the most trouble (other than maybeee Saarai) in terms of finally nailing down what her sexuality was. I had no idea what she’d be at all when I first made her, other than I knew this binch wasn’t straight hahaha. So first, I defaulted her to bi, but then that didn’t seem to fit her much (I didn’t know pansexuality was a thing at the time), then during my self-projection phase I considered leaving her as just a lesbian but she wasn’t happy with that either and eventually I figured out pan is a thing and she started jumping up and down and screaming HELLO YEAH THAT ONE!! at me. The only thing that was for sure obvious to me was that she’s demiromantic, because while she can get around and doesn’t care who with (insert “will fuck anything (humanoid) with a pulse” joke here), the romantic feelings often attached to that for other people take a long time to develop for Aria.

[loversandantiheroes]

Which of Your Fics

Got tagged for this quite awhile by the lovely and talented @astroboots, (ty sug 💗) and it kinda got buried in my drafts. So in the spirit of trying to clean it out, here it is. I *think* this is all the questions that came with it, but it’s so far back I can’t find it. This will probably be exceedingly boring for everybody given how few fics I’ve actually contributed to the Pedro Pit so far.  Apologies in advance.

Which fic did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

None, really.  I’m not trying to be humble, I’ve just got exceedingly low expectations. XD

Which fic got a better reaction than you expected?

Everything I’ve written in the last two years.  I mean that sincerely.  Partly just based on prior experience in writing fanfic (combination of still being pretty new to writing fanfic and writing some very niche stuff nobody was interested in), but also just...Case History got an insane reaction, and I sure as shit didn’t expect to walk into the Pedro Pit, toss out a Whiskey fic and get the response I did.

Which fic is your funniest? 

Not sure on that one.  Humor tends not to be a big focus, just a kind of a byproduct.  I don’t think I can point to one.

Is your darkest/angstiest? 

There’s a few contenders on that front.  A lot of my earlier OUAT fics were horror-tinged or straight up angst-fests.  My only TSW fic features my poor bee’s first death.  At least two of my canon-ish compliant DW fics are angsty as all hell, and that’s not even counting Like Blood Running Warm, the vampire au, which...well I mean it’s a vampire au, ffs, there’s gonna be a body count by the time that wraps up.  There’s also Structural Damage, which is my DA:I Cullen x F!Inquisitor fic that deals with Cullen going off of lyrium and that’s definitely not the lightest topic (though there’s a lot of that fic I’d like to go back and fix).  And I mean Hotel Hobbies is starting to unearth the buried angst as well.

Is your absolute favorite? 

God that’s hard.  Part of me wants to say Jigsaw just because I put so much work into trying to make the sci-fi bullshit make sense for the sake of a fix-it fic and I’m just proud that I managed to finish it.  Like it exists, it’s complete, it’s done, the nerds have been put back together and all is right with the universe.  There’s also some damn good writing in there, too.  But Case History is such a strangely special series to me, and Hotel Hobbies has morphed from a one-off “Whiskey deserves to get tied up and tormented and I bet he’d love it” fic to something a lot deeper and more emotionally grounded.  So I don’t know.  Three way tie?

Is your least favorite?

Oof.  Restless.  More DA:I fic.  It’s not exactly bad, but it did not come out the way that I’d hoped.

Which was the easiest to write? 

My memory is wonky, so that’s a tough one to pick.  I’m gonna say probably Risk & Reward.  That just sort of came out in a rush during a bout of anxiety, most of the difficulty involved was just trying to make sure everything was in the correct order (damn you, non-linear thinking).

The hardest? 

I mean at this stage the next segment of Case History and Ch3 of Hotel Hobbies could duke it out for the reigning champion.  I have too many fics that I’ve started and found myself stuck in.  But I think the one that caused me the most like actual stress and agony was Structural Damage.  I was trying very very very very hard to strike a balance with the portrayal of Cullen’s lyrium addiction, not wanting to handwave it as something easily fixed and not turning it into a “I will cure you by the miracle power of love and boning.”  That and trying to handle PTSD in a respectful way and just...yeah.  That one took a lot out of me.  Somehow at least that prepared me for writing Side Effects, so the stress on that one was considerably less.

Which fic has your favourite line/paragraph? 

Oh god I have a few.  Jigsaw alone has so many bits I’m proud of.  Here’s one:

He studies her, intent, almost desperate, as if she were a map of some place he thought he had traveled long ago, perhaps in a dream.  His eyes search out familiarity, looking for a landmark in the darkness of her eyes or the upturn of her nose or the sweep of cupid’s bow above her lips.  But then his eyes blur, losing focus, and his face falls.  There is no recognition here; her face is still beyond the edges of his map. Here there be monsters.  

I am also, of all things, very attached to this bit from Referral (Case History #7)

“I’ve been busy,” Alex insists, shoulders straightening.  “Y’know. School stuff.”  

An awkward moment of silence passes while Abigail shuffles for another pumpkin.  It’s a lie. You know it, and clearly Abigail knows it, too. It might just be Pelican Town’s worst kept secret, right next to the Mayor’s pointlessly illicit “affair” with a single woman.  Alex hadn’t been able to secure a sports scholarship after graduation, and without a proper college fund he’d been left with no real options. The kid was watching a dream die in real time, and was doing his damnedest to pretend it was still breathing.

Harvey would’ve understood.

Which fic have you re-read the most? 

At this stage it’s somewhere between Hotel Hobbies and The House Call.  The latter was very much written as a bit of comfort during a very very bad month, and re-reading it is very much a fictional hug.

[ziamhaze]

Writer Questions

Thank you for the tag, @zqua1d​!

1. When did you start writing?

Almost exactly two years ago.  I’d never done any sort of individual creative writing prior to writing Compartment 451.  Crazy how random that was and how much it’s changed my life.

2. What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively 1D, specifically ziam.  I’ve had people ask me if I would ever consider writing for another fandom, but I just don’t have it in me.  Not now, at least.  Every idea I’ve ever had (written and saved in my ideas doc) has been inspired by ziam as individuals - either because I’ve wanted to explore a specific characteristic of theirs or because I had an AU setting that I’d love to see them interact in.  Can’t say I’ve had that for any other fandoms/individuals.

3. Do you write better in the morning or at night?

Night, hands down.  Writing is my “full-time job”, so I can pretty much create my own hours.  I go through phases, but for a majority of the year, I’m usually nocturnal.  I like the darkness and the solitude.  The silence is a plus, but I think it’s the ‘in my own world without distractions’ sort of thing that gets me.

4. What music do you listen to while writing?

I’ve gone through phases with this too.  I wrote C451 with instrumental film soundtracks playing throughout, then with Kick, Push it was primarily lo-fi music because of Zayn’s character.  Since I knew that I was going to write Z.A.Y.N. after The Prince King, I listened to a CRAZY amount of r&b during the latter.  Listened to that all the way through both.  As for the last three stories posted online, I don’t remember listening to anything in particular.  The book that I just finished that I unfortunately can’t post, I used Korean ‘Study with Me’ videos on YT.  Highly, highly, recommend.  This one and this one are my two favourites.  I work like crazy, so these are great if you’re like me and enjoy tracking how much you work/ can create a good schedule when you don’t have an external source (office, class, etc.) to give you one.  OR, if you can’t sit down and study/write on your own accord, this would be good for you to build in breaks and good habits.

5. What do you/plan to major in at college?

Fuck, what didn’t I major in in college?  I’ve got a BA in Film/TV Production Management and Geography (specifically urbanization and the middle east).  Then I’ve got an MSc in Management (specifically international corporate strategy) and an MA in Creative Writing (specifically fiction, novel writing).  In the Fall (unless I move to Sydney, then next Feb-ish), I’ll be starting a PhD in Creative Writing which will be looking at masculinity, ‘the city’ in the novel, and the presentation of male-centric mental health in literature.  All wrapped up in a novel I’ll be writing for the program.

6. Do you write an outline before writing a story?

If you asked my workshop classmates that question, they’d just burst out laughing.  It was an ongoing joke about just how much I outline/plan a story.  For reference, Red vs. Black ended up being ~113k, but the outline document I had for it was about 25 pages on its own.  My outlines look a lot like a VERY detailed bullet note list of points that need to be touched on in each scene.  If you want a look at my lil baby one for C451, click here.  This is soooo bare bones compared to what they look like nowadays, trust me.  Each scene nowadays would probably have about 10x this many bullet notes and timings and all that.

7. Do you write multiple stories at one time or only focus on one?

NEVER.  I have to stay with one at a time.  My stories have so many tiny intricacies and details that need to be given my entire attention to unfold correctly.  I fully throw myself into a story; I get lost inside the world and characters much like an actor does.  I have to in order to make everything consistent and more importantly, true.

8. Do you write every day?

Yes!  It may not be for a novel, it may be academic papers or applications, but I do write something every day.  Also, it may not even be original writing, but I count editing sentences as writing.  You have to engage your brain in a similar nature.  You have to manipulate your native language and just...words.  That’s writing.

9. What are your goals for your stories? (& do you want to become a published author one day?)

Well, my summer goal is to get my latest story a publishing deal.  As most of you know, it’s currently sitting with Harper Collins, but I really don’t expect anything to come of that.  After that (inevitable) rejection, I’ll be shopping it around to agents, so I’d say that’s my latest goal.  Eventually, I want to publish Kick, Push, The Prince King, and The Heart of Him with lots and lots of rewrites.  Clearly copyright would make publishing Z.A.Y.N. as it is impossible, but I think the way it’s presented and the two characters that live within it are kinda cool.  I’d have to rewrite all the lyrics to be original and obviously change Zayn’s name to something that could fit with the title being an acronym.  (Zain/Zayn was a true blessing for that)  Plus, a lot of the magic falls with the songs that come out of their relationship and the hints that I gave to them throughout.  An original song wouldn’t be something a reader could do that with.  So, yeah, it’d be a stretch.  With Red vs. Black, I’ve been given some professional (let’s say) advice telling me to rewrite it with a different metaphor other than superheroes.  I see where he’s coming from in regards to sales and a publishing deal, but then I’ve also had another, professional (let’s say), from a different sector of the field tell me that it’s fine with storyline, but that if I’m trying to sell it in novel format, it might not work.  So, that’s going to take some reworking/deep thinking on my end.  And as for Customer of the Month, I’d like to adapt it as a YA book.  I think the message rings the clearest for that age group.  Which of course means, more rewrites beyond simple edits.

10. Favourite work of yours?

Besides the one I’ve just finished, I’d say Red vs. Black.  It’s really fucking complex if you take a step back and look at it on a character level and not a ‘ziam fic’ (same with COTM.  Zayn’s character in that one is actually really fucking heartbreaking).  It took so much precise weaving and timing and development, that finishing it was a massive accomplishment for me.  I’m glad people enjoy it, but honestly, coming out of it, I remember thinking, I don’t even care what people take from it, I’m proud of me for pulling that the fuck off.  It’s got NOTHING on the book I just finished (so you can imagine the self-pride I have for that), but given the fact that I’d only been writing for a year, RvB was a huge accomplishment for me.  I also really fucking loved writing Zayn’s character in that story - his humour, his turmoil, his arc.  It was a massive challenge, but I actually enjoyed it and that’s huge for me.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

In loving me, in loving you was such a fantastic character study!! ivar’s struggle with “happiness is nothing” is well-established but it’s fun to think about how that relates to permanence in his life. it’s less that happiness doesn’t exist but more that it’s so transient (like pain, like love) that its not worth depending on. it was so fitting that what finally snapped him out of his catastrophizing was talking to the reader about a more concrete commitment to their future together.

I also thought you did a really excellent job with the pacing! the slow unfolding of exactly what it is that gets under ivars skin about being back and then the recovery from the resulting depressive spiral were so fascinating. it was the shortest 11k words I ever read! I think the scene at the marketplace was my favorite for that reason—it was such a great turning point for the audience to grasp ivar’s anxieties about the reader starting to see him the way ppl in kattegat have. both the flashback and the bone breaking are so visceral that even if his fears are unfounded, it’s totally apparent why they’re founded to him.

and your characterization of ivar is still so definitive to me, 11k words of him was not enough! something really cool you did that I hadn’t seen before was how you explored how closely he ties his identity to how other ppl see him. I thought it was really interesting (and in character!) that he almost doesn’t have internal sense of self. he exists to himself almost completely as he is seen by others: there was a younger version of him that was pitied/mocked that he disdains and an older version that’s been loved that he likes(ish), regardless of any actual differences between them. if the reader were to begin to see the new version of him like the old one was seen, then to him, he would be right back to where he was. it’s like his own identity is another transient aspect of his life that he’s only starting to gain a sense of permanence for. very spicy stuff!! hopefully this is nice and not tedious for you to read, but AMAZING job again it was an instant classic!

Hi! Omg, how can I even start to reply to this? You're gonna make me cry nonnie, holy shit, you're too kind 🥺

Yes, exploring Ivar's struggles with happiness (and Ragnar's botched parenting) are always fun for me, but taken from the side that I did this time (with his abandonment issues making An Appearance™) and twisting that 'nothing' into 'unsafe, unreliable, transient' is very interesting for me to dive into ngl.

Yeah, having that slightly-more-concrete certainty that she will actually stay with him (the certainty that returning to Kattegat and kinda returning to who he was when he was there couldn't actually make it so that he loses her) helps Ivar a lot. He has people he should consider permanent, in that intimate scene at the end of the first night he is on the verge of accepting that, but Kattegat fucks with his head (Kattegat is, in its own way, the source of his trauma, from what his life was like to it being where he left his mother behind and returned to find her dead) and so he starts to unravel towards the need for that promise of permanence from her and all that.

And thank you! The scene in the marketplace (and the scene of their first night in the cabin by themselves) was my favorite too, especially because I liked pulling scenes and stuff from canon into this Modern AU (like the dickhead laughing and saying 'who's the cripple', or the recap of his first time and all).

I really don't know what to say, this whole ask left me speechless, but thank you, so so much, I'm so happy you like my characterization of Ivar. And omfg yesss, his performative self and all that is very interesting to me, and incredibly fun to write. The 'switch' in Ivar from domineering and abrasive to a softer, more vulnerable version of himself will never cease to make me fall in love with the character all over again; and I wanted to kinda show why he is that way in this. He has to act, he has to put up that front (a front that is not a lie, he is an abrasive little shit, but I think it's somewhat of a decision to be that, if that makes sense) so that he controls the narrative of who he is, so that he controls who they see in him.

Ans yeah, he forms his image of himself around what others see of him, mainly because of a lack of self-confidence and issues he carried his whole life about being seen/ignored, that make him hyperaware of people's 'eyes' on him. And returning to Kattegat puts all that to the forefront of his mind, because he has to face the source of his pain/trauma, and so he starts to get overwhelmed with that desperation to prove that he has made something out of himself other than what they see, better than what they see.

Omg sweetheart, this could never be anywhere close to tedious to read, I read it like 17 times already, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear people like my work enough to pay attention to stuff like this, and to send such a wonderful ask; please never think that I don't treasure all these asks with all my heart!

Thank you so so much, you're such a sweetheart! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed this! Sending you my love!