#Besties..... they mean the world to me...
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vidyagamereference · 3 days ago
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MC did the unthinkable. Stepping on a cats paw
Did i write this to cope with stepping full force on my own cat binxy's paw? Yes. Is it also deeply silly? Also yes. Was the entire premise "god i feel like throwinf myself off of a bridge for my crimes. Wait i can make a crackfic of this"? Yes again
Cw: suicide joke, the suicide joke is the only plot so if youre not about that at all maybe this one isnt for you bestie.
Haha i say plot like this is more than 100 words. Shitpost is more accurate tbh
Mc, on the edge of a bridge: IM GONNA JUMP!
Mammon: YA HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
Lucifer: we're running out of options, BEEL PUPPYDOG EYES!
Satan: what the FUCK happened while we were out????
Asmo, holding 3 giant tote bags of Trendy Health Juices: i just wanted juice! And now this????? What did you do?
Mammon: i didnt do anythin! In fact if you will open yer eyes im the one tryna get them off the bridge!
Levi: well it- it happened like... now dont get mad.
Satan, already transforming: What. Happened. Did you do this!?
Levi, so fast its hard to understand: mc was in a dark hallway and stepped on your black cats paw full force and the guilt has been eating them alive for the past 20 minutes so they decided to take a swan dive into cursed devildom waters
Mc, sobbing: MY PATHETIC HUMAN EYES ARENT MADE FOR DARKNESS! THE ETERNAL NIGHT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN RELM HAS BETRAYED ME! SHE HAD TOO PERFECT CAMOUFLAGE FOR MY WEAK MISERABLE BIOLOGY! CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME BATWOMAN???!!!
Levi: wait batwoman? I thought the cat was named Batty? Yknow. Bc her little paws go bat bat
Asmo: the female black cats full legal name is Batwoman The Badass. Protector Of Gotham and HoL Destroyer of t-
Satan:.... I-
Mammon, flinching: is... the bomb gonna go off?
Satan:..... its......
Satan, eye twitching, still half transformed: ffffffine.... I'm-... you're adequately remorseful-........ i- uh its that- the important th- thing is. Um- you- your- youre- you are- the- you
Satans brain: [on fire trying to choose between "protect cat" and "love and empathize with MC"]
Satan: i- its-......... youre trying. For sure. .......And. Im sure... uh... lemmet put these away and then i- um... I'll have.... better... words....
Satan: [takes a step]
Heretofore unseen dusty grey cat: YRREEEWWWWWWAH [bolts while favoring one of its paws]
Mammon:....
Lucifer:....
Levi:....
Asmo:....
Beel:.....
Belphie:....
Satan:.... 😨
Mc:..... I'll move over if
Satan, teleporting in: I'm already here.
Mammon: Fuck! Now i gotta play double duty?!
Satan and MC: WE DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD AS UNFORGIVABLE ANIMAL ABUSERS!
Satan: Cats deserve better. I gracefully accept my end.
MC: we are the SCUM OF THE EARTH
Mammon: DONT JUMP! SERIOUSLY ITS A BAD IDEA! I MEAN- UH- WHO WILL FEED YER CATS?? NOT LUCIFER!
Belphie: DO A FLIP!
Lucifer: BELPHAGOR!
Belphie: What? Satan's got magic and MC has all these pacts. They’ll survive. Now i gotta make a tiktok of this
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crystalchimera · 6 days ago
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Friend activity 🫰💖 Not pictured; Faust pulling Slayer out of his breastpocket ✨
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mamawasatesttube · 6 months ago
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my ideal timkon don't get together until they've both already done some queer realizations and dated other guys a little bit, in part because on tim's end, i think he's been in love with kon since he was 17, but at 17 tim didn't even know he was bisexual, forget anything else. and his feelings for kon were so big but also so constant that he didn't even realize they were there or significant because they've always been there and been huge. for years. so he putters along and does his time in the torment nexus (the closet) and languishes a bit but slowly starts to figure it out.
meanwhile kon dates someone, mostly like omg im dating a guy this is ALLOWED !??!?! and its pretty lowkey and casual and doesnt last bc like . super identity issues, right. kon would Never just tell someone, but secrets and casual relationships dont last long etc etc. but just the entire principle of kon dating someone and then being like yeah idk im not really feeling it like hes nice and all but i think hes more interested in like… yknow, my hot bod, than me. its whatever tho. and tim just being SOOOOO mad that someone would date kon and not absolutely adore him. tim will not be unpacking why hes so mad about kon having a shitty boyfriend. obviously its just bc kons his bestie and deserves better. (😶)
so he's just grouchily tinkering on some upgrade for his car to get the grumpy energies out. like WHATEVER! (angrily turns socket wrench) he's not saying kon should dump the guy or anything (angrily turns socket wrench) but he's just SAYING, kon can do BETTER!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) and kon DESERVES better!!! kon deserves someone who will treat him RIGHT!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) like if TIM was gonna fuck kon he wouldn't do it like a goddamn quickie and just fucking leave (angrily grabs the next size socket and scoots further under the car) like kon OBVIOUSLY doesn't like that so why won't this guy GET THAT!!!! (angry tinkering noises) if he's that shallow he can go find himself a sexy body pillow to screw!!! leave kon alone!!!!
and cassie sitting on a chair nearby is just like. sorry what was that? "if i was gonna fuck kon"? did you just say--hey tim? hey. can you go back a step?
and tim's just. obviously this is a hypothetical everyone considers about kon. look at him he's . you know. besides, tim's just talking as his best friend who wants the best for him! ugh stop trying to read into it cassie, that's not the POINT--
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suranastair · 1 month ago
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clarae-guns · 2 months ago
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yaps and listens
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minzbins-moved · 1 year ago
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for my bestie @bangzchan ♡
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Violet: Oh, FUCK!
Rhiannon: *quickly looks for danger* What’s wrong?!
Violet: Nothing. Sorry, I’m fine😅 I just dislocated my kneecap, but it’s all good.🙃
Rhiannon: *pales* By NO definition does that mean FINE or GOOD!
Violet: To each their own.🤷‍♀️
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cloysterbell · 4 months ago
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'Cause that's what us, we mere mortals, do. We die. And sometimes it's not pretty. It's ugly and it's messy and it's painful.
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dollypopup · 7 months ago
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I just need every single person in this fandom who has ever been mean about Luke Newton to know that Nicola Coughlan hates you. Genuinely and wholeheartedly.
She hates you. Sure, she won't say it aloud, because she's a professional who knows her career lives or dies by fans, but please know that she does. She hates you if you've said Colin gave you the ick, especially so if you said it to Luke, she hates you if you've left a rude comment on his social media, she hates you if you acted like she didn't like him or that she was shading him, she hates you if you bullied the people around him, she hates you if you said something disparaging about how he looks or how he acts, she. hates. you.
And sure, it's not all people who are in her or Pen's fanbase, in fact a lot of people have been cruel about him outside of the Polin fandom, but a LOT of people are Pen fans, and hearing her talking about how defensive she gets over him when people say something rude about him? And knowing there are SO many stupid opinion blogs and youtubers and tiktokers who say they're Pen fans and Nicola fans but are mean as fuck about Luke?
I need every single one of them, in particular those who have been out here making up stupid shit to be mad at him about 'on her behalf' to know that when you say something mean about the man she gushed to her Mum about, and who her Mum was so excited to meet because she just knew he was kind, the man she introduced to her entire family, the man she is always reaching for and hugging and snuggling up to and calling wonderful and giggling around and saying how she wouldn't want to do such vulnerable intimate scenes without and complimenting and leaning on and having fun with and calling a special person in her life, she is taking off her earrings and ready to meet you outside in his honor
because she hates you for being a dick about him. hope that clears things up
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spaceratprodigy · 3 months ago
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✨❤️ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ❤️✨
In my heart, I have but one desire And that one is you No other will do
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
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sunforgrace · 1 year ago
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you guys please understand they were going to say “CASTIEL’S PERSONAL HEAVEN” and paper the walls like a teen girls room with pictures of dean pictures of dean’s face PLASTERED onto the bodies of beefcakes all while cheek to cheek blares out. as brought to you by fucking metatron
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satans-knitwear · 1 year ago
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Blonde is always fun ✨
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
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dingoat · 2 months ago
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Unadulterated loathing
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mamawasatesttube · 14 days ago
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the timkon fans who shit on bart are annoying, the konbart fans who shit on tim are annoying, and i don't actually know if there are timbart fans who shit on kon, but i sure hope not, because they'd be annoying. the three of them are a set!!! do NOT separate. red tornado literally assigned them one shared brain cell. what is not clickign
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moons-among-distant-stars · 2 months ago
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fucking stupid gay people and their stupid found family
“in this moment you are loved”
i’m gonna sob
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feyd-meowtha · 4 months ago
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Guess who passed 300k words on AO3 and didn't even clock?
This gif is me and u guys rn fr, hugs and kisses, thanx 4 everything
feyd-meowtha xoxo
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