#Best work from home jobs in lockdown

[pepprs]

my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

[the-prettiest-teardrop]

Second Chance Ch. 1

Pairing- Childhoodbestfriend!Steve x Introverted!reader

Warnings- Drunk Steve, Alcohol mention, Steve being an asshole, regret, kissing.

A/N- This was so fun to write, and part 2 should be out soon. This actually hit close to home tho cuz I got dumped by my childhood bestie right after lockdown ended

———

Steve-fucking-Harrington, childhood best friend, turned to someone you considered an enemy.

Elementary school was great, sitting on the porch together, eating popsicles, fighting over who was the faster runner. Middle school wasn’t bad either, minus a few arguments and awkward moments. Late nights were spent lying in your backyard, giggling and gossiping over who had a crush on who, and who was dating who. This was around the time you started noticing his popularity rise, more girls were starting to take interest in him, I mean, yourself included, but that was something he never knew. High school is when things went downhill, rather than laughing with him on the porch, you sat alone, staring down at your shoes, hiding inside whenever him and his new, cool friends came driving past your house. It all still hurt, the way it was as if you were erased from his memory, like he never knew you at all. 

Your phone rang, interrupting your otherwise quiet night. You set down your book, “Pride and Prejudice” and picked up the phone.

“Hey, Y/N, you think you could come help me out?” It was Robin’s voice, and you could hear drunken chatter and the other sounds of a party in the background.

“Depends on what it is.” You reply with an exasperated sigh, you were trying to have a relaxing night in, and having to save someone at a party didn’t sound like something you wanted to do right now.

“Listen, I need help getting Steve home, and before you complain, I’m not gonna be able to drive him home and you’re the only one I know that could help.” She explains before you can interject. She knew how he hurt you, and how you still disliked him to this day.

“God, fine, only because I want you to be happy.” You groan as Robin thanks you before hanging up. You put the phone back on the receiver and make your way to the party. 

Once you arrive at the house, you’re immediately hit with the overwhelming scent of alcohol and vomit, making you gag. You quickly find Robin, a drunken Steve at her side.

“Did you get him water?” You ask with a sigh, already over having to deal with him.

“Mhm, now get him home please, I’ve got things to do.” Robin reply’s, helping shift him toward you. You wrap an arm around the drunken boy, his hazy eyes meeting yours.

“I know I’m the last person you want to spend the night with, but let’s go.” You murmur, and he luckily complies as you get him into your car.

The drive home is fairly silent, until you turn onto your street.

“I don’t know why I ditched you.” He slurs drunkenly, and your heart seizes. You knew he wasn’t in his right mind, but hearing him say those words still meant something. “I thought they were cool or whatever, but now everyone’s off to college and I’m stuck working a stupid, dead-end job.” His words were sincere, no matter how drunk he was, it was all the truth. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him, it seemed like he’d changed, not completely, but enough to give him another chance.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside.” You murmur, helping him out of the car and into your house, where you then got him settled on the couch.

You could hear him mumbling to himself as you got him water, and when you set it on the coffee table in front of him, his eyes landed on your face.

“You’re pretty, you’ve always been pretty.” He slurs, and you give a brief smile, acknowledging the comment without giving it any time to blossom into anything more.

You brought him a blanket, telling him to rest before retreating to your bedroom. 

As you laid in bed that night, his words kept replaying in your head, and you couldn’t help the little swell of excitement you got in your chest when you thought of him. He was still as handsome as always, with his gorgeous carmel locks and big brown eyes. You dreamed of him, of what it would’ve been like if he hadn’t ditched you, if your life hadn’t taken that turn.

In your dreams, you lay in his arms, his face tucked into your neck. You were utterly in love, attending college together, planning out the rest of your lives. Unfortunately, when you woke up, you were forced to face the harsh reality.

You walked downstairs, expecting to see Steve on the couch, but he was nowhere to be found, until you spotted him out on the porch.

“What are you doing out here?” You ask quietly, confused as to his sudden change in location.

“You deserve an apology, and I figured there was no better place to do it.” He says quietly, his voice low as you sit down beside him. “I really shouldn’t have done that, I was an asshole to you, and look where that got me. I know this isn’t nearly what you deserve in the forms of an apology, and I understand if you never want to see me ever again.” He explains, looking down at his shoes.

“Thank you, I mean, I can kinda understand why you did it, being popular feels good, especially when there’s no one at home to make you feel like you matter.” You knew all too well about the situation at home, all the times he stayed over at your house as kids, all thanks to his neglectful parents. “For the record, I really don’t want to lose you, not after getting you back.” You add, and you find your hand in his, fingers laced together.

“You know, I had a crush on you all through elementary and middle school, always thought you were pretty, even after I left.” He says, squeezing your hand a little.

“I know, last night, you said some things. I’ve always liked you too, I mean, I don’t think that’s a huge surprise, everyone likes you.” You smile sadly, which makes his heart ache. He’d hurt you enough, and didn’t want to do any more damage.

“I’d be willing to give us another chance, but maybe as more than friends.” He offers, his tone soft, fearing rejection. Your silence scared him, but before he could react, you were pressing your lips to his, and his hands flew to your lower back, holding you close.

You spent most of the day like that, sitting on the porch and chatting, catching up on the last 4 years.

[precioustarkey]

journalism at its finest

summary: you have made a career for yourself by interviewing celebrities, but are feeling a little uncomfortable when one hits close to home.

warnings: none

i nervously climbed into my car. the engine only makes my nerves rattle more. growing up, i was infatuated with actors and musicians. i found myself watching movies for the actors instead of the plot. listening to songs for the singers instead of the message. i can't explain my relationship with the media. i guess being online a lot as a teenager is to blame.

regardless, i knew from an early age that i wanted to work in the industry. not as an entertainer, but in the background. i wanted to observe the lifestyle up close. going to college for journalism was the best decision i have made for myself because now i get to live out my fantasy. 

i get paid to interview these people. and though i find a lot of them uptight and spoiled, the nosy side of me loves picking them apart. because of my job, i try my best to stay neutral on these celebrities so that they don't feel uncomfortable. apart from the research i do in order to come up with my questions, of course.

today is different. there is a show called "outer banks" that came around during quarantine, so with my free time, i binge-watched the entire first season. as i mentioned, normally i watch tv shows and movies for the actors, but i hadn't seen anyone in this show. 

however, when i delved deeper into google, i found the name of one of the actors to be familiar. drew starkey. i quickly found out that he grew up in north carolina, as did i. confused, i pulled myself from my cocoon on my couch to find my old high school yearbooks. grabbing one at random, i see him grinning in his senior photo. how could i forget? 

ever since i discovered this, i avoided the show like the plague. even though i had been surrounded by celebrities for years now, i had never known one of them personally. it almost ruined the glamorous aura surrounding them. imagining him as a regular teenage boy in the classes we shared was humbling. he wasn't mean in high school, not at all. if anything, i remember finding it odd that he hung around the theater kids because he was a total jock.

because of quarantine, i knew that press would be difficult for the actors, and because of this, i never anticipated having to interview them. which helped ease my nerves. moving to los angeles meant that i would interview every celebrity on the new up-and-coming shows. part of me hoped the hype surrounding the show would die down before the lockdown did.

the entire ride to the studio, i told myself over and over again that there was no way he would remember me. he was a jock, and i barely spoke. it wasn't the fact that i was shy, high school just wasn't for me. i counted down the days to graduation. i was only there because i had to be. i put more focus on my studies than my social life. 

in the back of my mind, i can't help but fear that seeing him will bring back memories of being the closed-off kid i was back then. as long as no one mentions it, everything will be okay. i repeated that to myself a few times before parking my car in the lot. removing my seatbelt as slowly as possible to buy time.

my hands are shaking as i walk to my studio. i send passing smiles to my coworkers as i make my way to the bathroom. i confirm that my hair, face, and outfit look presentable, and read over my questions one last time. 

the cameraman walks up to me as i take my seat to wait for the cast to arrive. "i just got a call; austin and drew are going to be the only ones you're interviewing today. madelyn, rudy, and  madison will be interviewed tomorrow," he says, looking for any sort of confirmation. "that sounds perfect," i say, smiling, still looking at my cards. 

i hear footsteps coming from the hallway and quickly stand up. austin and drew emerged into the room with their crew. "hello! so nice to meet you, my name is y/n," i say with a grin as i hold out my hand to them. they do the same, introducing themselves as they take turns shaking my hand. 

all three seats are now filled, so we can begin the questions. the first fifteen minutes go perfectly; we're laughing, they're thoroughly interested in the questions, and they're giving great answers. turning my attention to drew, i ask, "has this sudden change in lifestyle been difficult for you at all? to go from putting your all into basketball, to then deciding on theater in college?" 

he looks taken aback by my question. that nervous feeling in my stomach is slowly creeping back. i made sure that his sports background was easy to find online, so i was confident he wouldn't be too surprised. "wait a second. y/n? y/n y/l/n?" i can feel my cheeks flush at his realization. 

"can i be honest? i was hoping you wouldn't notice," i said, covering my face with my note cards. we are now sharing smiles. "oh my god. i sat behind you in algebra, you're the only reason i passed that class," he says in between laughs. seeing him in person has brought all of those little memories flooding back. 

after a minute or so of catching up, their team urges us on. "we've got other interviews, guys," the man says impatiently. we carry on for an additional fifteen minutes or so before i have run out of questions to ask. we said our farewells, and i thanked them for coming.

just as they were leaving, drew turned around, brushing past the guys they had walked in with. "y/n can i get your number? i would love to catch up properly whenever we both have time," he says, pulling out his phone. "yes, of course!" i smile, quickly typing in the numbers before they are once again rushed away. 

it felt like no time before my phone started dinging.

part two is here!

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

In Dire Need

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: tw: shooting, performing surgery with a gun to your head, tw: pregnancy, tw: miscarriage, super major angst

Request by anon: Tw shooting: Hi there can I get a Spencer Reid x surgeon where the hospital goes on lockdown bc of a shooter and its like Greys Anatomy where in 6x24 reader goes through what Cristina does? And Spencer doesn’t find out until some members of the BAU point out how “brave” his s/o is to him when they saw footage of the operation room? Thank you 

Summary: Spencer drops you off at work without worrying if you're not going to make it home or not. Then, reports of a shooter in the hospital you work in come flooding in and now Spencer's whole world crashes down around him.

Square Filled: held at gunpoint for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: If you've seen the shooting episode of Grey's Anatomy, then you pretty much know what to expect with Christina and with what happened to Meredith.

x

Spencer pulls up to the hospital you work at, and you turn to him with a sweet smile.

“Thank you for driving me.”

“Of course.”

You lean up and kiss him quickly before leaving the car.

“Remember, we have date night tonight. I have a present for you.”

“I can’t wait.”

You leave his side and walk into the hospital with tens of other people trying to either get to work or see their loved ones. Spencer notices a tall man walk in right behind you but he doesn’t think anything of it. He puts the car into drive and heads to the BAU which is only a quick twenty minutes away. Derek greets Spencer as soon as he comes in and he hands him a coffee.

“Thanks.”

“How’s Y/N doing?”

“She’s doing her best. I don’t know how she and Savannah work in hospitals. They must see more gore than we do. Plus, their hours are longer than ours.”

“I guess the same thing can be said about our jobs.”

“True,” Spencer chuckles and sips his coffee.

JJ walks into the room with a worried look on her face and she turns the news on for all to see.

“This just in. Quantico State Hospital is on complete lockdown as reports of a shooter come from within. Doctors are rushing to get patients out in an orderly fashion, but the location of the shooter is still unknown. The Quantico Police Department and SWAT have already arrived on scene, but not much is known at this stage in the investigation.”

“This just happened ten minutes ago,” JJ says as everyone gathers in the bullpen.

“No, that can’t be. I just dropped Y/N off. Everything was fine,” Spencer panics.

“The police are getting calls after calls from people inside the hospital. They’re evacuating the wings who aren’t affected as of right now. There’s no telling where this guy is going, who his target is, or how many people are affected inside.”

Spencer takes out his phone and dials you but your phone goes straight to voicemail. Spencer visually begins to panic and Derek places his hand on his shoulder to help calm him down.

“We need to go down there and help.”

“I agree,” Hotch says, “but we can’t go inside until we know the situation.”

“I don’t care. I just need to get down there.”

By the time the BAU gets to the hospital, the roads have been closed off, and a lot of patients and doctors are in the parking lot separated from less urgent to most urgent in terms of who needs to be taken care of first. First responders and doctors use what’s in ambulances to help keep some of the patients alive, but there is a great deal still left inside the hospital.

“Commander, what is going on?” Hotch asks.

“I came over with my guys as soon as I heard the calls. The dispatch center is getting calls left and right about this.”

The man plays a few recordings of calls that came into the 911 dispatch center.

“There is a shooter in the hospital! Send everyone!”

“My friend is dead. Please send help. I’m scared!”

“I don’t know what you have to do but we need help in here! The shooter is tall with blonde hair and facial hair. I don’t know where he went.”

The next call captures Spencer’s attention because it’s you.

“There is an active shooter right now, and I’m in the middle of surgery that I can’t stop. Last I heard he was in the OR wing where I am. Send help!”

“That’s my wife!” Spencer gasps.

“Yeah, it’s always someone’s wife or daughter,” the Commander sighs.

If the shooter is in the OR wing where you are, are you okay? Are you even alive?

“Why aren’t you going inside?”

“We don’t know the situation yet. We don’t know where the shooter is or how extensive the damage is. If we go in now, we could scare the shooter into killing more people.”

“This isn’t happening right now,” Spencer sighs and pulls at his hair gently. He looks at Derek and Hotch in desperation. “What if it were Savannah? Beth?”

As much as it sucks, Hotch could use a person on the inside. He knows and trusts his team to go inside and de-escalate the situation while the others find a way to get inside the safest. Hotch gives Spencer two nods and he takes off running to the entrance. Derek steps in the way of the officers that try to stop Spencer but aren’t successful.

There are a few bodies by the entrance since that is where the shooter stuck first. He strains his ears to hear where the shooter might be since the entire hospital is filled with a deafening silence. He doesn’t have time for this when you could be in danger. He prays that you’re alright as he safely and carefully runs to the OR wing.

He looks into each OR as he passes by but you’re not in any of them. That is until he reaches the last one. On the floor in the scrubber room are two doctors or nurses who jump at the sound of the door opening. They relax when they see his FBI vest, and he puts his hands up to let them know he isn’t a threat to them.

“I’m with the FBI. Who else is in here?”

“My boyfriend got shot,” one of the doctors says. “My best friend is doing surgery on him now.” 

Spencer takes a couple of steps into the scrubber room to look through the window to see what’s going on. That’s when his whole world comes crashing down around him. You’re there doing surgery on your friend’s boyfriend with another surgeon on the opposite side of you, but the shooter is inside with a gun pointed at your head. Tears are streaming down your face because you refuse to stop fixing the man on the table.

“Uh, stay down there.” Spencer takes his phone out and hands it to one of the doctors. “Call for help. Tell them Spencer Reid with the FBI is in OR 3 of the surgery wing. Tell them he says to send the team in.”

“Okay,” the doctor says and grabs his phone.

Spencer slowly walks into the OR with his gun raised. The shooter immediately moves the gun from your head to Spencer when he sees him.

“Spencer,” you cry as you work.

“Drop the gun,” Spencer orders the man.

The man moves the gun back over to you and shoves it into the side of your head. You sob loudly at the thought of leaving Earth like this in front of the man you love.

“I will shoot her if you don’t lower your gun.”

Spencer has no choice but to listen to what he says. If your life is on the line, then he’ll do anything to save it. He drops his gun to the floor and kicks it away per the shooter’s instructions.

“Let him die.” When you don’t, he presses the gun into your head again, and you sob. “Do you want me to shoot you?”

“Y/N--”

“No, I can’t stop,” you cut your husband off.

Spencer needs to get that gun away from you so he takes one step toward the shooter, and he aims the gun at Spencer instead. With the threat of the gun off you, you and the other surgeon work quickly to do as much as you can as long as you can do it.

“The person you’re holding a gun to is the woman I love.”

“The man on the table, Dr. Greystone, is responsible for killing my wife. I was justice!”

“If you kill that man then justice won’t be served. Knowing that this doctor is rotting in prison for killing your wife is justice, and I can make that happen. All you need to do is put the gun down.” Out of the corner of his eye, Spencer sees the knobless door to the OR room open. Hotch and Derek walk in with their guns raised silently so as to not alert the shooter that they’re there. “I will make sure this doctor goes away for a long time. Just drop the gun.”

Whatever he sees in Spencer seems to work because the shooter drops the gun with tears in his eyes. Hotch keeps the gun trained on him while Derek jumps into action. He grabs the man and kicks the gun away before putting handcuffs on him. You’re just about done with this surgery anyway, so you hand the stitch and needle to your coworker and run over to Spencer. 

When you feel the comfort of his arms around you, you break down crying.

As soon as the shooter is apprehended, doctors and patients are allowed back inside. Paramedics come rushing in to tend to the wounded. Your friend and her boyfriend are transferred to a room, and you’re taken outside with Spencer while the rest of the BAU help where needed.

“I’m sorry,” you cry. “I had to keep going. This hospital is my family. I couldn’t let my best friend’s boyfriend die.”

“I know. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Spencer pulls you in for a hug and you put a hand to your stomach in thought. You have a pregnancy stick waiting for Spencer at home because you’re you wanted to surprise him that you’re pregnant but after what just happened, you might not be.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[saintjosie]

I'm gonna jump in the discourse lol, I don't pass as a trans woman and I don't think I'll care to. But demilypyro was advocating for living as your best self, she happens to be in a country that funded her transition? But other than that she's like poor too. Idk it feels like everyone's just looking for trouble because she was responding to hate with snark

okay people really don’t get this so i’m gonna tell y’all a story. my story.

i’m a trans woman with a fuckload of privilege. i’m pretty, i’m passing, and i have a platform, but most importantly, i had the privilege of starting my transition when i was financially stable on my own in largely supportive environments. and i recognize these things now but i didn’t always.

i started my transition in may of 2020, during the height of lockdown. and at that time, i was working a cushy corporate salaried desk job with full benefits which included both therapy and gender affirming care. i got on hrt quickly, and because of good genes, because masculine asian features are regarded as feminine in western beauty standards, because i’m really fucking good at makeup, and because i was working from home and there was no where to go, i was able to stop boymoding by october of 2020, about 6 months after i started hrt.

and then around that same time, i had another stroke of luck. i made a tiktok about coming out at work, which i did in the most extra way imaginable, and that tiktok went viral. it got 300k views and overnight i went from having 150 followers on tiktok to several thousand. and a less than a year later, that grew to 100k.

that year was rough as hell. i transitioned during a time where going out into the world to find community was impossible. and i lost my job. and i got divorced. and i cut out my family. and because of all of that, i felt like i was doing better than a lot of other trans people. cause i was facing hardships and still doing incredible.

but even so, i was longing for community that would validate and accept me the way that i was validated and accepted online. and so over the next year, i moved across the country three times, something i was able to do only because i was able to afford it

during that year i finally started to get out and meet queer people as the pandemic slowed down. and as i connected with queer and trans people in varying stages on their own journey, i realized the enormous privilege of being able to transition, afford therapy, afford my meds, afford moving to a place where i could find community. i wasn’t just “better at being trans”, i was just luckier than most.

being able to accept being trans is so dependent on having the support structure around you to process what you are feeling. being able to socially transition is dependent on having the people around you who will accept your identity and being in a place where you are able to do so safely. being able to medically transition is dependent on having the physical health and financial stability to do so.

privilege is something that needs to be constantly dismantled within our community because privilege is the main weapon that is used to oppress us.

the fact that this demily person made a snide sarcastic comment doesn’t change the fact that she sought out a person without a following to shit on someone without a following. the inherent privilege of saying something like, “i’m better at being trans” even if she didn’t mean it seriously, shows that she doesn’t recognize the privilege of being in a place where you can learn to accept yourself.

and on top of all that because she’s a person with a following and a platform, the danger of that kind of thinking compounds and is worth calling out.

i’m not misunderstanding her intentions or the context.

you are misunderstanding privilege.

[devotedlykoneshots]

JUNG JAEHYUN : FOREVER LONELY

🔞 minors dni

Genre: single father jaehyun, single mother reader, power outage, smut, reader, slight flirting, reader is oblivious,

--------

It was a normal day and just like any other day you had errands to run, so you quickly got in the shower before getting dressed and heading to the local grocery store.

You needed to do some shopping anyway but unfortunately just as you were about to walk out the door, groceries in hand, the power went out.

"Don't panic everyone, it's just a little storm!"one of the cashiers calls out and you sighed, walking over to a space in the back and sitting down.

"The powers out, so it looks like we're stuck for now"another cashier said, people instantly started to complain about various things like having to pick up their kids from school.

"No one is going anywhere so chill out, it's not going to benefit anyone if we all start thinking irrationally"this unknown man you'd seen before but never knew his name

"He's right , the best thing for everyone is to stay put, I'm sure the schools on lockdown too"the manager agreed as he entered the area.

"Thank you jae"he said and jae nodded, finding a spot not far from yours and setting on the floor.

"Everyone get comfortable, we might be here for god knows how long"

--------

It was once in chaos again as the hours passed, people complaining again about their kids and families.

The storm only seemed to be getting worse by the hour and people were worried.

"What about food? We're starving here!"one man yelled, you shrunk in your corner and watched it all go down.

"We can eat the food on the shelves!"another man shouted before a gun fired off, the entire room fell silent.

It was jae, he puts the gun in his jeans again.

"Now that we're all calm , let's start over. All of us in a sticky situation alright, I want to go home too, my little girl is waiting for me"he started, sympathizing with them at first. You had no idea he was a father.

"But we're not going to get anywhere if we don't work together, now the manager will let you all have a little bit to eat off the shelves but no more than 5 items for now. So choose wisely"with that he left, settling the crowd for now as they all ran around to find food. You snorted as he came back to his spot.

"At this rate they'll have to put you on the payroll"you snorted , an attempt at starting a conversation and he looks at you.

"Just trying to help, the situation is tough for everyone and maybe they just need a little guidance"he shrugged and you nodded.

"Well you're definitely doing a great job, I do hope it ends soon so everyone can get to their kids"you tell him, resting your head against the wall.

"Do you have kids?"he asked and you looked at him , nodding slowly.

"One, my son alex, he's at school. I was supposed to bring him cupcakes, today's his birthday"you said sadly, what a horrible birthday he must be so sad. This only increased your worries for your son.

"I'm sure he will understand the little delay"jaehyun tried to cheer you up and you gave him a small smile.

"What about yours?"you asked him and he chuckles.

"My daughter is at home with the babysitter, I was stopping here to get some food for the night. Her favorite actually, nachos"he said and you nodded, reminiscing the old days when you used to eat nachos when you were high in college.

"I haven't had nachos in so long, like since college"you said and he nodded.

"Feels like a different world now, I know what you mean"he said, it always tasted better when you were high too.

"I'm y/n"you said, holding out your hand for a handshake.

"Jaehyun but everyone calls me jae"he said and shakes your hand.

"I noticed you didn't mention his father"he points out and you snorted at the thought before nodding.

"Oh-, yeah he walked out the minute he found out I was pregnant"you said and he sighs, shaking his head.

"What a dick"he said and you laughed softly.

"Yeah, what about you?"you asked him and he hums softly.

"She died while giving birth"he said and your eyes widened.

"Oh- oh my god, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked"you panicked.

"It's okay, no harm done"he assures you , you calmed down and nodded your head.

You truly hope this wasn't the last you saw of jaehyun.

"Hey, when we get out of here, do you wanna come over for dinner?"

-------

You went over to jaehyuns place that weekend, before you left the grocery store he'd given you his number and you did the same.

He texted you pretty casually, a part of you was slightly disappointed that it seemed like he friend zoned you but you weren't going to let that get in the way of your friendship.

You hugged as soon as he opened the door, your son immediately drifting towards the toys in the living room with both kids playing together immediately.

"Come on, we can watch from the kitchen"he leads you towards the kitchen where the pizza boxes sat already.

"How have you been?"he asked, starting up a conversation.

"Not good honestly"you tell him.

"What's wrong?"he asked and you sat on the stool beside him, he follows you.

"His father wants to be in his life"you said and rolled your eyes at that, remembering that day vividly.

"What are you going to do"he asked you and you shrugged.

"I'm gonna let him but if he's thinking about trying to get back together with me and using my son as a pawn, we're going to have a problem"you told him and he rubs your back , you sighed and calmed down again.

"Other than that I'm okay"you assured him.

"Well if you need anything just let me know"he said and you nodded, he gets up to check the food and you followed him.

"What are you cooking?"you asked him.

"Beef stew and rice"you hummed at his response, ready to have some as well.

"I didn't know you could cook"you told him and he snorted.

"Took many ruined dishes and a lot of watching cooking channels to master it, trust me I couldn't cook for shit at first"he said and you laughed.

"Well practice makes perfect"

-------

The kids were now asleep in his daughters room as you and jae settled into the living room, you still felt nervous after walking in on him changing clothes in the bathroom.

"Are they asleep?"you asked him and he nods, you cursed under your breath.

"I should go"you said and stood up.

"Why? It's the weekend, you're welcome to stay"he said and you looked at him.

"I haven't seen hope bond with another kid like that in a long time"he said and your heart swelled with the knowledge of knowing he named her hope.

Especially with what happened.

"I don't wanna intrude"you told him.

"I'm asking you to stay, no intrusion whatsoever"he said and you bit your bottom lip.

"Are you sure?"you asked him and he rolled his eyes.

"Y/n , sit your ass down and get comfortable"he said and your eyes widened, immediately sitting down as he said.

It reminded you how he commanded those people at the grocery store.

"You know, You should think about running your own business, you do that whole commanding thing really well"you said trying to lighten the mood and he laughs.

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment"he said and you nodded.

"It's definitely a compliment"you said and stood up to stretch, taking off your shoes not knowing that jae could see your strap.

Your thong strap.

"Your uh- strap is showing"he commented and you sat back down immediately, pulling your tank top down and hiding your face.

"Oh my god"you panicked.

"Interesting, I never pictured you as a thong type"he said, taking a sip of his wine.

"Oh my god, shut up"you said and he laughs, tugging your hands from your face.

"Don't be embarrassed"he said and you snorted at that.

"I'm very embarrassed"you assured him.

"You shouldn't, I'm sure you look great in anything"he said and you peeked up at him.

"Are you trying to flirt with me right now?"you asked him and he shrugged.

"Maybe"he said and you shook your head.

"I can't even look at you right now, we should watch a movie"you said and abruptly stood up to go look for a blanket.

When you came back jae was still waiting on the couch and you willed yourself to calm down before approaching him.

"Did you pick a movie?"you asked him and he shakes his head.

"You're my guest, you pick"he said and you grabbed the remote as he grabs the blanket, readjusting the blanket to cover you both and moving closer to you.

You chose a horror movie, mentally cursing yourself as you recalled that you're a scary cat and jaehyun chuckles once you grabbed onto his arm during a jump scare.

"Oh come on, this isn't even scary"he said and you gasped.

"It's very scary for me okay, you know what? I'm turning the lights on"you said as you slipped from under the blanket.

"Can't believe you said that-"jaehyun pulls you into a kiss, successfully shutting you up momentarily.

Your eyes widened before fluttering shut and kissing him back, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders before he pulls away.

"Why'd you do that?"you asked once he pulled away and he licked his lips.

"I don't know"he said and you bit your bottom lip before he pulls you into another kiss, pulling your waist and guiding you onto his lap.

"JAE"your heart is beating faster in anticipation.

"Let me take care of you, for one night even"he whispers against your lips and you nodded, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Okay, okay"he deepens the kiss and tangles his fingers in your hair, guiding your hips along his crotch and his lips move to your neck soon after.

His tongue licking and biting your neck, his tongue quickly slurping up the sounds you make in result.

"Do you want to continue this in the shower?"he asked and pulls away, you nodded and climb off his lap as you let him lead you to his room before moving to his bathroom.

Your jaw drops at his bathroom and you turn around to look at him stripping off his shirt, your fingers hesitantly touch his abs and he watches you.

His hand coming up to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you bare in front of him as you didn't wear a bra under your shirt but before you could say anything your nipple is being sucked into his mouth.

"Oh shit"you cover your mouth as he licks and sucks on your nipple, using his hand to give attention to your other nipple.

"We should get in , I don't know if I'll be able to keep quiet any longer if you keep doing that"you said and he pulls away, the both of you undressing mostly before you could take off your thong he stops you.

"Leave it on"his voice is deeper than before and he doesn't wait for you to reply as he steps into the shower and pulls you inside with him.

He closes the door behind him and you engaged in a heated make out again, sucking and licking each other's tongues as you both moan into the kiss.

He lifts your leg as you continue to make out and grinds his cock against the thin fabric of your thong, you moan into his mouth and he groans softly.

Not knowing that your thong was moving to the side until he accidentally slips inside of you, you both choke on your moans and you whimper softly as you hide your head in his shoulder.

"Oh fucking hell"he turns on the water just in time, drenching you both as he starts to thrust inside of you slowly.

"Fuck-"he moans softly and gulps, biting his bottom lip, you run your fingers through his hair as you look into his eyes.

Your lips meeting again and his hips starts to rock into you faster, swallowing all of your moans.

"Ah- jae"you moan against his lips, he moans back and picks you up.

Your legs wrapping around him as he holds you against the wall and thrusts into you quickly, your head hitting the wall as you cover your mouth and his lips attach to your neck and collarbone.

"Faster please"he looks up at you and gives you what you wanted, biting his bottom lip and snapping his hips into you.

Hitting places your ex could only dream of and never will, ever again.

"I'm gonna cum-"you were cut off as he stops immediately.

"Why'd you stop?"you asked him with a pout.

"I don't want this to be the last time I have you like this"he said and you bit your bottom lip.

"Then it won't"you told him.

"I'm not talking about just sex either, I wanna take you on a date and get to know you better"he said and your heart swelled again.

"I'd like that, a lot"you told him and he presses his forehead against yours.

"Good, now cum for me"he's thrusting back into you like a maniac, desperately trying to make you cum and reach that point himself.

You hid your face in his neck and moaned loudly and your body spasms as you cum.

"Oh fuck-"jae groans softly and pulls out, cumming all over your abdomen and the underside of your breasts.

It seemed like a good start to something great.

For now.

[sapphic-luminosity]

4.5 years

I’m so tired.

It’s really incredibly tiring living through the ongoing pandemic and feeling like the world around me does not care that it still exists and is dangerous as ever. 

It really does feel like few people care at this point. It’s very hard to be honest, but the threat is such that I can’t really just relax and pretend like it’s not there.

I do follow covid conscious people on social media and it helps to know that there’s many of us out there. And I’m glad to have a number of friends who have remained covid conscious, but like we really are few in number. A lot of friends and family members who used to be cautious have thrown caution to the wind, only maybe masking when, say, going on flights or maybe to crowded spaces if that. I still want to be friends and have relationships with these people but every time I meet with them I’m very aware that there’s increased risk in doing so. Meanwhile plenty of friends who stopped taking covid seriously have simply stopped really talking to me or including me in plans, even online friends. It’s disappointing. It’s isolating. It feels like I’m disposable to many people. But at least I do see some people repeatedly in person consistently wearing masks like I do. And that helps some.

Every couple waves I’ll see more people wearing masks such as the ongoing one. You know what, that’s welcome, I appreciate everyone who starts masking again after having stopped. But masking only during the heights ignores that the spread of the virus still goes on in between. So the next wave comes as people relax and transmission increases again. 

It’s hard feeling mostly housebound. I am a bit of a homebody, but not nearly to this degree. Not having an in person job outside of my home doesn’t help with that but also I’m not sure that I could bear to do one at this point. Being disabled already pre-covid and moving states literally weeks before the shelter in place orders came into effect (not lockdowns, we never had those in the US) meant that I did not have a job when the pandemic struck. I decided to wait it out for weeks months a year until the first vaccines got rolled out and thought about trying to apply again but then in the summer of 2021 Delta came. Then Omicron. And so on. Now we’re up to BA.2.86 and JN.1 as the variants of interest. It’s never stopped. There’s never been a break. The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'.

Working from home was a huge option early in the pandemic for many people outside industries that require people to work in person but gradually companies and organizations have rolled back this accessibility by requiring people return to office. And the economy sucks right now. Applying to jobs sucks even in the best of times with the current system, but now we have confirmed cases of job recruiters putting up phantom jobs, some admitting that 75% of the jobs they’ve posted being fake to make their company look like it’s in better shape or positions where the candidate has already been selected internally and they just want to make it look sorta fair. Not to mention all the scam listings. Job hunting sucks. It’s a lot of energy spent for very few returns and my disability/chronic illness means I just can’t channel endless amounts of energy without paying a far greater price in the future.

It’s not just work either. I haven’t seen a movie in theaters since the Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey movie in February 2020. Maybe I’ll actually go see one soon, but it’s a real risk, even during a matinee when fewer people might be there, even masked in an N95. (And definitely a much bigger risk if I should want some popcorn or a drink.) I have been to one indoor event (MBMBaM live show) that required masks of everyone in late 2022. It was a risk but masking made it feel a little safer. Nothing like the risks today where so many people seem to have forgotten the danger that they knew in 2020 and 2021 and maybe 2022 and will look at you funny if you even wear a mask much less suggest they might wear one.

We’ve known about covid spreading as an aerosol but I’ve had people I know act like it’s safe to eat inside as long as you’re far away from people regardless of ventilation. Some even still believe the six feet away idea that has been thoroughly debunked. We’ve known about long covid post-viral syndromes since 2020 and that you can still get long covid after vaccines at least since 2021. Research has come out over the last few years about covid having rampant effects on your immune system, heart, brain, pretty much any organ in your body, but people still think of it as just a respiratory illness.

Our government has failed us profoundly. I never had much trust in the government, becoming politically conscious in the early Bush era in the wake of Islamophobia and endless wars against concepts which got widespread support from both dominant parties in the US. Coming out as queer in my early adulthood, I learned about the Reagan response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic (ignoring it for several years because ewwwww gay people!!) which filled in the blanks of knowledge from my childhood where the education was pretty much just scaremongering. It’s truly monstrous how Reagan ignored HIV and yet I’m not sure anyone has really done that much better since him.

I’ve never liked Biden nor do I pretend to. But even so, he campaigned on how thousands of covid deaths in 2020 were unacceptable under a US president when it was Trump in power. Yet under him we’ve seen likely over a million people die and the dismantling of protections that helped prevent covid’s spread or monitoring. We were pushed the idea that you simply had to get vaccinated and then it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. But that’s never been true. He declared that the pandemic was over in September 2022 and in the two years since then I’ve watched more friends who mask consistently get sick than those I knew who got sick from November 2019 to September 2022. (I’m pretty fortunate in that regard, I know many people had lots of friends and relatives get sick and die or become permanently disabled prior to September 2022.) 

Sure, the White House approved 4 more covid tests per household again in response to the current wave (after getting rid of that program months ago), but the tests are notoriously unreliable for a single test unless it gives you a positive and generally you need to use them over multiple days to make sure you don’t have false negatives. Not to mention that we have known about asymptomatic transmission of covid since 2020, but people just seem to have forgotten about that. Testing daily would do so much to help track the disease, especially if our leaders were to encourage everyone to do them. But there’s a serious lack of test availability. The government could give each of us a test per day and help stop a lot of transmission. Where are free masks? Where is the continued funding for vaccines? Where is funding for improved ventilation including air filtration systems for every classroom and other shared public space? Where are protections to make sure that employers have to keep people home and give them sick pay? Any public health response we had has pretty much fallen away into privatized, “you-do-you” individualism. (Anyone remember that “you-do-you” MTA sign from 2 years ago saying masks were optional so wear them however the fuck you want? “You-do-you” feel free to get someone’s immunocompromised grandma mortally ill on the subway.)

There’s only one mention of the pandemic on Harris’ campaign website’s Issues page at the moment, only in passing while talking about automotive industry jobs. The pandemic is in the past, this seems to say. There’s no need to mention it except to compare what she has done under Biden vs. what Trump did. Biden may have stepped down from running after getting covid for at least the third time and possibly suffering lasting health issues including possible covid-accelerated dementia from it but there’s no need to address that. Simply move on and forget. Maybe she can’t even admit that Biden fucked up royally in 2022, she just has to save face for the DNC. Or she’s trying to appeal to anti-vax anti-mask “Never Trump” Republicans who still won’t vote for her. I don’t pretend to understand what she’s thinking of during her campaign’s numerous missteps so far.

We don’t live in 2019 anymore but so many people seem trapped there. They think that we who are covid conscious are unwilling to move on and are trapped in 2020, but I find that often we’re more attuned to the actual situation going on. So many people seem to be unaware of the long term consequences of catching covid, especially multiple times. So many people passively question why everyone seems to be sick all the time or why there are so many more heart attacks and such happening in young people or why there seem to be more dangerous drivers on the road or why there are so many fewer workers these days but never stop to pursue the answer to the most clear solution. Occam’s Razor never had a chance.

The pandemic has changed us all on levels we probably won’t realize for years or decades, but I feel like many people who have moved back to 2019 are worse for it. Worse empathy for those who had any empathy at all beforehand. Worse science literacy, especially amongst medical professionals. (“You’re not going to get sick in a hospital!” “Why would we wear masks in the cancer ward!?”) Worse critical thinking. Worse memory. I know people deal with trauma in different ways but so many people just seem to be so avoidant that any tiny reminder of it makes them want it gone gone gone. Or they seem to just sigh and laugh internally at those of us taking it seriously. “You just have anxiety!” they might say, even when in my humble opinion nothing is more rational than our desire to not get sick. Not to mention all the harassment people have gotten for doing things like masking because using a simple medical device has turned into a moral panic in some spaces. (I know of some people who would mask don’t anymore because of social pressure or outright threats used against them.)

It’s hard to have hope for the future and yet I hang in there. Maybe someday I’ll be able to work in person again. Maybe someday I will be able to be on a plane again and travel outside of the US or go to visit friends in parts of the US I’ve never been to. Maybe someday I will be able to eat inside a restaurant again instead of getting takeout or (rarely) taking a risk by eating outside of one. Maybe someday I’ll be able to casually sip an iced latte in a coffee shop while reading to pass the time again. Maybe someday I will be able to go to concerts or conventions or crowded outdoor festivals or indoor parties or board game nights or even ride the bus without having to ask myself if it’s worth the risk and without having to wear a mask. But with the infection rates we’ve been seeing that feels far off and most people don’t seem to care about making that world a reality.

I hope that there will be some treatment to finally end covid-19 and its numerous lineages that continue to mutate and spread across the world like wildfire. I feel like that’s one of the only hopes. We had a chance to end covid in other ways but our government leaders and greed from corporations failed us. Yet even with that, I know that if a treatment using some kind of super effective antibodies or such is developed, it’ll probably still be kept from many people by corporate greed. But still I hope for the future even if that hope is dim.

Until then I’m largely housebound. And I will forever be changed by this pandemic, largely not for the better. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust people in general again. I’m not sure how I would cope if covid suddenly disappeared from the face of the planet, like with magic. Maybe I would just completely lose it. Maybe I’d bounce back completely in a few months. (Unlikely. I’m still disabled and chronically ill from pre-covid times. My life would still have big challenges.) But I’m pretty sure it won’t disappear suddenly.

And I’m so very tired.

[vonlipvig]

I started playing Not For Broadcast, a game that manages to both be a worrying dystopia where human rights can and will be violated, AND a wonderful utopia where the rich actually face consequences… As someone from the UK I feel I am looking at both a brighter and darker future for my country and I don’t know how I feel about that! It is also (as someone who grew up during the era) very nostalgic. These adverts, this title sequence, I feel as if I have seen these before… a small me is dispassionately watching this shitty bullying play at school… at home she turns on top of the pops to see this exact music video… I had to go on the IMDB page for some of these actors to work out where I’ve seen them before.

I have just got up to the first day of lockdown, in what I am pretty sure is an unconscious electric shock dream. I’m enjoying myself a lot so far though my god it’s stressful having a job and a family to support. I think my wife is leaving me and taking our daughter with her, WHICH IS A BIT MUCH CONSIDERING I PLAYED HOOKIE FROM WORK FOR THE SAKE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP! And I’m SORRY you didn’t get to go on holiday daughter but we’re in CRUSHING DEBT! I TREAT OUR SON WITH COMPASSION BECAUSE HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO ASKED ME TO DO SOMETHING I CAN ACTUALLY GIVE! I’M NOT RISKING OUR NECKS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BROTHERS TRUST FUND! AND I CAN’T MAGIC US UP MONEY BECAUSE I’M TERRIBLE AT MY JOB!!! I’M TRYING VERY HARD FAMILY!!! *sob*

Anyway I’m having fun, and getting to know the characters! I think Jeremy is my favourite at the moment. I can appreciate a character desperately struggling for both command and a sense of dignity on a sinking ship. If you look to your right you’ll see Megan has constructed herself a lifeboat and is doing just fine. She’s definitely going to be eating your lunch in a few years Jeremy… ah well!

YIPPEEEE WE GOT ANOTHER ONE, FOLKS! 📺

i will reserve most of my plot-specific comments for obvious reasons, but yeah, i do really love the angle they took with advance being a pretty popular progressive party (like, i would have voted for them, i'm fairly sure most of us would have voted for them). it definitely makes what's going to happen a lot more interesting and less black and white...

OOH the lockdown, one of my fave broadcasts, no doubt! it was, as you can guess, very much a product of the 2020 lockdown and the inability of getting together to film, and to me one of the best examples of art that used the situation to their advantage, i'm really so fond of it ♡ and also YEAH IT'S INSANE. i can't wait for you to discover all the insane secrets and possibilities within it...

again, shutting the fuck up regarding all your family choices here, but 👀 very amused, very amused, keep going!

and yeah, jeremy is such an amazing character. my fave's megan, but everyone in this game is so stellar, it's just fantastic.

[thegodwhocums]

spent Kujichagulia with my best friend from high school, who I think it's fair to classify as working poor. we drove to the ocean, ate sandwiches, walked the foggy beach, collected shells and stones, talked about job dissatisfaction and the impossible dream of one's own home.

I wanted to live collectively, but that's also the only way it's possible for me to have a decent standard of living. I make about $32k a year and have no generational wealth. I know I'm only where I am because I "married up," made the right cross-class connections. everyone from home is suffering. she's 40 and working full time without health insurance and living with her mom and younger brother because she just. can't. make ends meet.

as a child I didn't know I was queer but I knew if I didn't get out I would die. as a teenager I didn't know everyone in my family was dealing with mental illness but I knew if I didn't escape I would die. when I lived alone in a windowless basement in Appalachia or slept on a flattened cardboard box in lieu of a bed in Brooklyn, I knew it beat the alternative, which was death. the pop punk anthem, the small hometown as the grave.

in the spirit of self determination, I want more choices for everyone who's struggling. I want my friend to have the flexibility at her retail job to go visit the fox rescue she's been dreaming about since lockdown without worrying she won't have a job when she gets back. I want her to have a living wage, 4 weeks PTO, full health insurance, a Prius with under 100,000 miles on it. I want her to get the surgery she needs and expected to have this fall before the big box store fired her for calling out sick with covid.

I want a little more freedom for all of us. and right now, especially for her.

[callmewrinkles3]

Charlie

December 2022

Em really didn’t want to be out. She was constantly tired and still felt stressed, but Blake insisted. Her cast was off and she’d finished physical therapy so “cmon Timmy, the two of you are coming out for dinner and drinks.”

So she did what he told her and got dressed, the three of them sitting at a table and chatting. It was good food and relaxing and she actually enjoyed herself. Dan spotted where Blake’s attention was being drawn, a woman standing at the bar turning down a guy. She’d glanced over at Blake a few times but kept looking away.

“Have a crush, Blake?” He asked and their friend shook his head and pushed his glasses up.

“She’s cute. But you know me.” Em looked at him and stood while pointing at their glasses.

“Same again?”

“Yeah, please.”

Going up for drinks was just the first excuse that Em could find to go up to the bar and stand beside the pretty brunette Blake kept making eyes at. She’d deal with him being annoyed at her later, her friend deserved some happiness for once. As much as he tried to hide it she could hear the sadness when he said “you know me”. He’d put his personal life on the back burner for them.

It wasn’t that Blake didn’t want to meet anyone and settle down and be happy, but he didn’t have time. And it was entirely because of her and Dan. The thin walls between her old apartment and his worked both ways and she knew he’d stopped bringing anyone home over lockdown and never did again. Between how 2021 started, the mess of that year and how it ended, and the hell that had been 2022 he didn’t stand a chance. Instead he kept an eye on them, half brother, half parent, all Blake.

Officially his job was to be Dan’s manager but after everything he became a professional third wheel to make sure they were ok. He’d spent the last year keeping his barely functioning best friends going and ignored his own happiness. So for once Em - helped by the g&ts she’d drank already - was ignoring how shy she could be and telling the girl that Blake was interested if she was too. Em couldn’t even remember the last time she’d seen Blake’s eyes light up at seeing someone. It’d be worth his annoyance to make him happy. He’d put her happiness first, it was her turn to do that for him.

“Can I get a gin and tonic, a Jack and Coke, and another pint please? And whatever her next drink is too? Thanks so much.” Em pointed to the girl beside her as she ordered once she’d stepped into a free spot before turning and holding her hand out. “Hey, I’m Em.”

She saw the surprise on the woman’s face the second Em introduced herself. If someone ever did that to Em in a bar one night she’d probably run away, and definitely run back to Dan, but the woman didn’t. She had skinny jeans and converse on with a tank top and a flannel shirt over it. The woman stood there with her nearly empty glass for a second before speaking.”

“Hi. I’m Charlotte. Can I help you?”

“This sounds insane, but yeah, you can. I mean not exactly me but my friend. See the cute one over there with glasses? His name is Blake. He thinks you’re cute.” Charlotte glanced over and back carefully, but Em saw the “oh fuck” expression on Blake’s face.

“He does?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about his face, he’s mad at me for telling you because he wasn’t going to say anything. But I promise, he’s a sunshine. The sweetest man in the universe after my husband. So I figured if you think he’s cute you can come sit with us and say hi. And if you don’t that’s fine, enjoy the drink. We won’t bother you.”

“You actually want me to say hi to someone at Daniel Ricciardo’s table? Really?”

“Sometimes I forget my h-boyfriend is a celebrity. But seriously, don’t think of him like that. Dan’s a regular guy, and Blake’s even more normal. So if you feel like it come say hi?” The drinks were out down beside her and Em tapped her card on the machine to pay. “I haven’t touched your drink, it’s all yours. It was really nice to talk to you, Charlotte.”

Em walked away from the bar barely balancing the three glasses in her hands, dropping them down on the table in front of her two favourite men barely spilling a drop. Her favourite part about getting back was how their jaws dropped slightly. She was never the one who did those things. She was the introvert, the one who hated talking to people. Especially talking to strangers. But three gin and tonics and a margarita meant she wasn’t thinking about how uncomfortable it was to talk to people. All she was thinking about was Blake being happy, even if it was just for one night.

“What did you just do?” Blake asked, staring at her as if she was an alien and not one of his best friends and his adopted sister.

“You mean to say “thank you”, right Blakey?”

“Where’s my sweet baby girl and what have you done with her?” Dan joked, trying to keep it together and not burst out laughing at what his wife had done.

“What did you tell her?” Blake sounded frantic so Em took pity on him.

“That my very sweet, handsome bestie thinks she’s cute. And then I paid for her drink and told her to come say hi if she thinks you’re cute too. She’d just said no to that other guy and I saw her checking you out, so I think she’ll come over. You’re welcome in advance.” Em took a sip of her drink. “When you get married I get dibs on maid of honour duties and to be godmother for your first child.” She shrugged and scooted closer into Dan. It was the least her thing she had ever done, but she owed it to Blake.

“You’re never gonna drink again. Ever.” She wanted to laugh as she watched Blake blush even harder, but she didn’t want to make things worse. Instead she smiled and snuggled into Dan as he wrapped an arm around her. “Seriously. I’m never letting you drink again.

“And you’ve never seen her when she starts drinking rose. That’s when she really says the weird stuff.”

“Dan!”

“You know it’s true!”

“Weirdos,” Blake murmured under his breath and Em could see how he was beginning to regret not only coming up with the idea to go out that night, but for Em to start drinking again after a few months off alcohol.

“I might be a weirdo, but I’ll have you know Charlotte’s looking over here.” She could see how Charlotte was trying to act normal while looking at their table and checking out their friend. It was a small smile half hidden behind a glass that she was trying to finish for some extra courage. It was the table where hometown hero Daniel Ricciardo was sitting with his girl and his best friend.

“She told you her name and you weren’t even going to tell me? Seriously, Timmy?”

“Oops?”

“Sometimes you’re so annoy-shit she’s coming over.”

If Blake’s cheeks were read before, his entire face may as well have been an apple. Em couldn’t remember seeing him so nervous I’m all the years she’d known him. He was always the composed one, especially at work, so seeing him blushing like a school kid with his first crush was the most adorable thing in the world.

“Hey, Charlotte, you joined us!” Em welcomed her happily, gesturing to the free seat beside Blake when she saw her standing next to their table.

“Is that alright?”

“I invited you over for a reason, right?” She smiled and gave a wink to make the other woman feel welcome and able to relax, even if for a moment. “Introductions, this is my h-boyfriend, Dan. Ignore if he tries to impress you and be fancy.”

“Nice to meet you, don’t believe a word Em says about me.” Dan held his hand out to shake like the polite man he was.

“And this is my best friend, Blake Friend. Yes it’s his actual name, and yes I tell him regularly it’s ridiculous. Blakey, this is Charlotte.”

“Hi. Call me Charlie, Charlotte is for strangers or when my parents want to ask something. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hey Charlie, it’s nice to meet you too.” Blake smiled and offered his hand for her to grab like Dan had, but it was nothing like when Dan introduced himself to Charlie. Em could nearly see the sparks. This was the night she’d met Dan for her best friend and this new girl, she knew it.

“I need some air. Come out with me, Love?” She whispered to Dan and grabbed his hand to give the other two some privacy.

“What’s that for?” He asked when they got to a dark corner across the bar.

“Give them some privacy.” She leaned against Dan and gave him a kiss, hoping that it was going as well as it looked for the two.

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

Not to be too depressing but just a record of living where I do since covid:

My best friend moved 200 miles away

I had no ability to meet anybody new because socialising in any way with someone you didnt already know was forbidden by law

The queer bars that were my entire social circle closed for 15 months

I got made redundant from my job and lived on unemployment benefits that came to about a third of my usual income for over a year

I got evicted from the house I'd lived in for 6 years and hoped to buy

I had no ability to save a deposit for a house so was stuck in the renter trap

I didn't see my family for over a year because I'm an immigrant and travel was banned

Meanwhile, my flatmate whose family lived locally, frequently had their family over to visit, even against the rules at the time

My favourite local cafe closed down and didn't reopen

My favourite restaurant, the same

I couldn't go to my gym for over a year

I had no garden

All public toilets were closed down; meaning that for someone with no car and IBS I was very limited in where I could go out for over a year because I had to remain near enough to a toilet (ie. the one in my house) that I wouldn't publicly soil myself unable to reach one

My bedroom was about 4 meters square and this was the entire space I could call my own because my flatmate insisted on working and relaxing in the lounge and due to being unemployed and an immigrant I had nowhere else to move to

I believed I might have cancer because the hospital that did my biopsy in Feb 2020 decided not to tell me that I definitely didn't until April 2022!

Although there were things I would have liked to do during the break like study courses or get qualifications, I couldn't due to my lack of money. Meanwhile the media trumpeted about how "everyone" was finding fun things to do at home with their automatically paid "furlough"

I lost really crucial years of my life when most people build the connections that will see them into the next stage. Pre covid I was someone who succeeded despite all the odds. As an immigrant, with a physical disability, and with no direct experience or relevant qualifications, I managed to land and excel in a high-powered corporate job by 25 years old. I was in such a good place to set my future up. And then lockdown destroyed it all.

I endured all this in (and with) the hope and expectation that the world would return to normal when it was all over and we overcame the illness.

And then it didn't. Now there's a new normal, leisure is ringfenced for the rich, small businesses are struggling and suffering seems to be the expected default for citizens. What a world.

[brian-in-finance]

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GIVING CREDIT

Saluting the behind the scenes talent making movie magic

Rob Youngson is a unit stills photographer for film and television. He's captured images for Belfast, A Haunting in Venice, The Great Escaper, Heanstopper St and Atlanta S3. He also shoots stills for posters. 'An effective still image has to communicate a lot in a single moment. An onlooker should know the tone, the genre and who stars in the production within a few seconds. It should leave them with a question: what happens? The answer to which is always, to go and see the film. It's the visual equivalent of a hook in pop music.'

How would you describe your job in simple terms?

I work with the cast and crew to capture striking still images during filming - without being a distraction or affecting the schedule.

I work with the publicist to ensure I get the images needed to publicise the film. I also capture behind-the-scenes images, which highlight the collaborative process and anything unique about the production. I may work with the props department to take period-accurate portraits for set dressing.

I've also consulted actors on how to use old-fashioned prop cameras convincingly.

How did you get into set photography?

I trained and worked as a theatre lighting designer while photographing bands on the side. Then I discovered that this job existed through an article in Nikon Owner magazine.

It was an interview with Kimberley French (Brokeback Mountain, The Revenant). I knew straight away I had to do this. So I went to work at one of the rental companies that hires cameras and lenses to productions.

I cleaned the kit, loaded the trucks and got to know people in the industry. used any leave to work on short films and then went freelance. Early on, I assisted an established unit stills photographer on some studio shoots. He then recommended me for a job he couldn't take and that put my work in front of the right people to get hired again.

What's the biggest misconception about your job?

That still images are screen grabs from the film. This is a widespread misconception, even within the industry. It doesn't work for two reasons. The technical reason is that the common shooting frame rate of 24fps doesn't freeze motion enough for those screen grabs to be printed at billboard size.

The second and most important reason is artistic; what works well for a moving image doesn't necessarily make a strong still photograph. Another misconception is that actors are difficult to work with. They are usually lovely. Actors have to step into a vulnerable place while surrounded by noise and crew and kit. They have to keep going to that place again and again for different camera angles. Part of what makes a good unit stills photographer is respect for the acting process. Sometimes my job is knowing when to step away and allow the actors space to work.

What's been the most memorable moment on a film set?

Watching Judi Dench and Kenneth Branagh make each other laugh on day one of shooting Belfast. We had all been in lockdown for so long, it felt like a new beginning. It felt like photographing love and hope and friendship.

What's the worst thing about your job?

Missing time with my family because I'm working away. Sometimes standing in a field on a night shoot, in February, in the snow, I start to question it. Those moments can feel tough. But a lot of the crew are in that same situation with you. Working on good scripts with nice people makes the time away from home, the long hours and driving, a lot easier.

What's the best thing about your job?

Knowing that my images help stories to find an audience. Stories that take years of hard work and hundreds of people to get told. On set, the best thing is being witness to incredible acting, from both legends and up-and-coming talent. Seeing what the Heartstopper cast are doing for LGBTQA* representation right now is special. I'm also currently working with two incredible young actors. I am so excited for more people to discover their storytelling potential.

If someone wants to do your job, what's the best route in?

Get on to set any way you can, in any role. Take photos across all genres of photography. Welcome honest feedback on your work. Don't sweat the kit you haven't got. You'll get hired for your eye and how well you get on with people, not what's in your bag. The necessity to work on low/no-budget jobs early in your career is a barrier to many, especially as a lot of opportunities centre around expensive cities. Screenskills and BAFTA have resources for helping bridge that gap - seek those out. Go and see as much art and as many films as you can.

Remember… (most memorable moment on a film set) Watching Judi Dench and Kenneth Branagh make each other laugh on day one of shooting Belfast. We had all been in lockdown for so long, it felt like a new beginning. It felt like photographing love and hope and friendship. — Rob Youngson

[idsb]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!

[softpine]

Do you think your sims would have survived the lockdown part of covid? I know we all pretty much lost our minds. Do you think any of them would have been the type that "took advantage" of the time?

honestly i don't know when 2020 would've fit into the timeline so i'm basically fudging this whole thing lmao

oh beth & caroline would've been REALLY close to filing for divorce. with cara being a tattoo artist, she would've been completely out of work and beth would've been working from home (she's a children's therapist) but there are no extra rooms in the house to use as an office, so she would've had to either use the computer in the living room/dining room/kitchen which would be a major privacy issue, or set it up in their bedroom which is super small. they were already having relationship issues at that time, but being trapped in such close quarters..... they would be at each other's throats... and they wouldn't even be able to have crazy makeup sex (the only tried and true solution to their problems fjksjd) because asa is in the next room doing virtual school 😭 btw asa definitely started making bread from scratch and promised himself he would keep doing it after life went back to normal (he did not).

stevie would still be working. KD would have let her stay home, but stevie would be desperate to get out of the house (oh my god her parents would be insufferable) and not be lonely anymore. you know that tiktok that's like "you think you can hurt my feelings but it was my job to enforce the cracker barrel mask mandate as a 17 yo butch lesbian" literally that but "it was my job to enforce the mask mandate for rural american truck drivers as a 16 yo trans girl" 🫡

elaine and jada are lucky because their bedroom windows face each other, so they could technically see each other. elaine would've fallen down the skincare rabbit-hole and completely ruined her skin in a matter of months (me too girl...... happened to the best of us) and jada would've had time to make tons of art, but she would have extreme art block and spend most of her time just laying in bed being anxious (again. me too girl.)

i guess casper would still be in high school, and sadie was still just a toddler. danny had already been working from home for years, so it would be nothing new for him

trigger warning for serious discussion of covid below

mikaela is a pediatric nurse at a hospital, so i don't really want to go into detail about how emotionally damaging that time must've been :( she would be working nonstop and i think she wouldn't even want to go home afterwards for fear of transferring germs. she might have stayed in a hotel during the peak of things

i'm gonna be honest i think 2020 would've been the worst year of coco's life because her boyfriend had cancer and was going through chemo, so obviously she could not be anywhere near him unless she was willing to be 100% quarantined with him, which she couldn't do because she needed to work. she had people counting on her. and she had.... a lot of other stuff going on too, some of which would've been affected by a pandemic but i can't really go into detail about that

and finally i have to state the obvious -- people died, no matter how careful they or their families were, and sometimes it didn't even matter how healthy they were before covid hit. i had family members who were immunocompromised get covid and i thought they wouldn't survive but they did, while other people in my life were only in their 40s/50s and healthy but they didn't survive. so in my mind, there's no point trying to guess how my characters would fare, and also it just feels icky in general. but it felt weirder to not acknowledge this at all, so. here's this ramble.

i also want to send love to anyone who continues to be affected by covid in a world that wants you to believe it's "over", whether that be from long covid, grief, being immunocompromised yourself, etc. i see you ♥

[mistress-ofmagic]

I feel so low at the moment you guys I’m sorry for venting on here but sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have a space to vent anywhere else so I’m sorry bout that lmao

I know it’s not a helpful to keep running narratives over in your head but I feel like I have had a pretty rough year like the year kicked off with a gal I’ve been besties with since high school friend falling out with me bc I couldn’t go to her birthday party (that’s a whole other story lol) and I started a new job. The job is the same as the last but I still miss my old work friends a lot and feel disconnected from them. I then have had major surgery and recently my sister has moved out to far away who I am very close to and miss her a lot.

In the meantime I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything I feel numb and anxious and sad all the time and keep having such negative thoughts which I try to block out. I feel so alone a lot of the time and isolated from my best friend (who I live in a different city to) and we don’t talk that much anymore. I don’t feel connected to my boyfriend much anymore and (tmi?) I’m struggling so much in the bedroom lmao I can’t have sex at all I go into fight or flight and just can’t deal with it and get irritated.

In the past few years we’ve had covid obvs and I came home from my masters and had to recover from anorexia and then covid hit like a few months later pretty much. I kept thinking oh my life will start up when covid is over but we’re not in lockdown anymore and my life has not started up lol.

I literally have no motivation for anything I don’t wanna go to work I don’t really care about doing the doctorate anymore which was always my life’s dream because I feel like I won’t be able to hack it now because my resilience is low.

Anyway I know people have had it worse lmao but I feel like life has been like fairly crap for years now even and it’s not getting better actually more bad things keep happening and I don’t know how to fix itttttttt.

[ridhearts]

mission failed {vamp!jamil x reader}

anonymous requested: hiiiiiiiiiiii could i please request some vampire!jamil with a human!reader where reader is a vampire hunter and is lovers w jamil but then jamil gets turned and now they have to choose between their job and their love for jamil Jjsjdksk thank u sm!!!

!! information !!

characters: jamil

reader: gn!

cw: none! 

notes: just for clarity’s sake, this work is a request and does not fall into the lore that i consider “canon” for my au!

masterlists ⇿ requests

There once was a boy you knew, in a town where you felt you didn’t quite belong. Of course, you were right - you were only in the area for a job, and it would be safest for you to leave as soon as you were finished. An increase in suspicious deaths, both livestock and human, was a usual cause for summoning a vampire hunter such as yourself. The distrusting looks the locals gave you were par for the course, too. You were proof that there was evil in their neighborhoods, that their homes were no longer safe, and that the death that plagued them was purposeful and all the more terrifying. The way they refused to help you on your search proved they were idle prey, but idle prey kept you in business. The dislike could go both ways.

The boy you met was just a regular in town, save for the fact that he was amazing at everything he did. He worked a few jobs in town, always in high demand for his skills and normally happy to help provide for his family. He was even remarkable enough for word of his talents to spread to you, though you never crossed paths with him - at least, not wittingly.

The first time you met Jamil, you ran into him while he was on his way home. It was after dark, and you told him as much, commenting on how dangerous it was to be out at night before you could solve the problem.

He wasn’t much for conversation, shrugging and promising with hardly-contained derision not to lose track of time again. You huffed. 

Whichever vampires were haunting the area, they were certainly taking their time in making another move. Perhaps they knew you were a vampire hunter, or maybe they were waiting for the people to feel safe again before starting another hunt. You did your best to poke around for information from the locals, giving the ones who would listen a few traps or weapons. For a while, it was quiet.

Then there was a disappearance.

Naturally, the townspeople were furious with you for being unable to protect the girl who was taken. You tried to explain that you needed more information, but everyone was somehow less eager to cooperate with you. You had half a mind to send a letter to your captain and have a lockdown placed on the town until the problem was solved when you met Jamil again.

He appeared behind you in the general goods store just after the shop owner flung a few insults at you and shoved your purchase across the counter in your direction. Or, rather, if the amused smirk on his face was anything to go off of, he witnessed the entire exchange from start to finish. Before you could wordlessly brush past him, however, he called out to the owner and had, essentially, the same conversation you tried to have, only with exponentially better results. You wondered if the owner knew what he was doing and answered to spite you, or if Jamil was really that convincing (or the shopkeeper that oblivious). 

That was when you learned his name. For all his reputation, he had an odd air of apathy about him. And for all that apathy, he was surprisingly flustered when you tried to give him a simple ‘thank you.’ Jamil left in a hurry, and you watched after him. You’d have to run into him more often if you wanted to make any progress.

Jamil saw through you almost immediately. When you admitted to trying to prod him into uncovering what the town knew for you, he tried to drop you before you even finished your sentence. You were nothing if not persistent, however, and eventually he begrudgingly agreed to vouch for you so people would talk to you.

Talk they did! With such a local superstar on your side, the townspeople were suddenly very helpful. They spoke of strangers lurking around at night, many with unfamiliar markings on their arms. Some who claimed to speak to the strangers told you they saw sharp fangs, or that they had been swindled out of an extreme amount of goods. Most often, people told you of someone trying to hide in the shadows but always peering out from behind corners, someone with a shock of white hair in the night.

You worked with Jamil on gathering your clues, taking his advice on where to search. When the information was too much, he helped acquaint you to the area, as you were already staying for quite a while. He offered to teach you to dance once, after you got rid of the vampires. “The current atmosphere isn’t great for dancing, and I don’t like people watching me,” he said. You told him it sounded like a great idea, and kept to yourself how you wouldn’t be able to accept.

Whatever you felt - if you felt anything, you reminded yourself - it was important that you force it to die. You could not get distracted from the plot that was certainly surrounding the town. You could not put a civilian at risk for being too close to a hunter. You could not give yourself a tie that you would be forced to sever once you finished your work.

But when you returned from a fruitless search in the woods and let Jamil search for and tend to any of your wounds…was it so wrong to admit that it felt nice?

Perhaps it was better, then, that you never found out.

With Jamil’s helped, you realized it was the Scarabia coven surrounding the area - specifically, a high-profile vampire had gotten curious and snuck around, and now there were retainers of some sort scampering around to bring him back. Killing such powerful vampires would be difficult, but you had a better grasp of the situation, and a job to do. You were just circling back after another uneventful patrol, intending to swing by Jamil’s house and gesture for him to join you, when you realized his front door was open.

Running into the house, you were met with blood pooled on the floor, too much for a human to lose and survive. Yet you could hear struggling in another room and raced towards it, fumbling for the dagger strapped to your belt.

The scene was chaotic, furniture tipped over and too many people in one room. The family of Jamil’s that you never met was in various stages of turning, some pressing a hand to their mouths in pain. Each of them had blood trickling down their neck, but the back of Jamil’s shirt was drenched in red from where he had been lying on the floor, surrounded by blood of his own. He was hunched over his sister, shaking - from what? Fear? Rage? You weren’t sure - but your legs were carrying you away before you could figure out. 

(A den of new fledglings is one of the most dangerous place to be, after all.)

You sent a letter to your captain, explaining how the job could not be completed with your interference, and packed to leave. A few nights alter, you took to the sidewalks, certain that the young Scarabia vampire had satiated his curiosity and would be leaving everyone else alone. Still, you did see a figure watching you as you left, hidden between buildings to the moonlight didn’t irritate his skin.

It was your job to eradicate him, but you had already failed in way that hurt more than before. So you averted your gaze and pressed forward. If he really wanted you to end him, all he had to do was bite a few necks of the people he once told you he hated, what felt like long ago.