#Best therapy Notting hill

[johnypage95]

Best group therapy Kensington:-

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[hazeystar]

love (you), actually

Evan was standing in front of his door with a stack of white poster board in his hands, the first one saying 'Tell them it's carol singers.'

It's two months after the breakup, and Tommy opens the door to the romantic experience he's been waiting for his whole life

because tommy is our resident romcom lover and he deserves his moment! also s/o @bibibievansbuckley because this was born from one of our very late night ramblings because all we know at this point is tevan

wc: 2187, below the break and also on ao3

The knock at the door draws Tommy out of his thoughts. 

He was sitting in his living room, doing the only thing he really felt like doing these days: watching romcoms. Today’s pick was Notting Hill and he didn’t even have enough energy to stop himself from putting himself as Hugh Grant and Evan Buck as Julia Roberts. 

It was weeks since he walked out of that loft for the first time and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He knew it was stupid, in hindsight, the entire night almost reads like a fever dream. They were supposed to be going on a date and Tommy left heartbroken and empty.  

Really, he should have reached out by day two, maybe ask Buck to coffee like he did all those months ago but he couldn’t do it. He asked him to move in and Tommy basically took a sledgehammer to the idea and nuked his own heart in the process.  

Day ten was when he dragged himself back to therapy. At the time, he didn’t know why his gut reaction was to tell Buck no, but now, he realised it was self-preservation. Years of pent-up trauma were cause to this, especially from hearing that ‘my first isn’t going to be my last’ from not one, but two of the boyfriends he had in the years since he’d moved to Harbour. 

And then he threw those words right back into Buck’s face. Evan, the human embodiment of sunshine and a golden retriever, who stumbled over his words but managed to ask him to move into the loft (the fucking loft, which ends up being a 10 minute rant with his therapist because why in the hell would tommy move into a loft when he owns a house, what would they do with the cars, his Muay Thai set up, the garden that’s finally starting to look decent in his backyard-, he found some more underlying issues there as well, but also was told that particular thread was not his fault) and Tommy felt like someone had poured ice water on him. 

He’d seen this path before, only twice but two times is enough to leave a mark. The first time was probably enough as well, but the second time just dug a knife again into a wound that had just barely healed. So he did what he thought was best: act proactively. If he got ahead of the problem, if he got away from Evan before he could fall in love, then maybe it wouldn’t be as disastrous.  

How absolutely wrong he was. 

It felt so bad when he was walking away that he genuinely considered the possibility that it would have hurt less if he and Evan were living together for months and then they broke up. 

He wanted to go back, apologise, tell him he didn’t mean it but- Buck said he admired him. And it was those words that were on replay as he drove himself home. 

He admired him. Tommy, the guy who was so scared about being gay that at age 30, he was engaged to a woman. Tommy, who gave his heart out to the world because he wanted to feel like he was in Love, Actually, that he had someone who wanted him back just as fiercely and was sorely let down every time.  

So he let himself down this time. Better that than be hurt by Evan. Of course, by doing it this way, he hurt himself and Evan, but he could bounce back. He was young, and your first isn’t your last. 

It took two different sessions to beat that idea out of him.  

Sometimes, your first isn’t your last. But sometimes it also is. It just depends on when you find your person. 

Tommy found his person. He just didn’t realise it until he nuked the entire relationship. 

Two months later, he still didn’t reach out, not really sure where to even start. Evan didn’t reach out either, so maybe it was just a case of right person, wrong time. 

That was fine, Tommy could just imagine him in every romcom he watched. 

There was another knock at the door, this one a little more insistent. 

Right, the door. Tommy stood up, running a hand through the mess of curls on his head. Evan had liked them, was always sad when he cut his hair or weighed it down with gel. In the initial weeks of the breakup, he couldn’t find it in himself to get it cut, and then eventually he started to like the curls. Now they were here to stay. 

He opened the door and was not at all ready to see Evan Buckley on the other side. 

Two months had passed, and he still looked gorgeous. He looked tired; there was stubble along his jaw, bags under his eyes that were more prominent than he’d ever seen, even after a rough round of 48s for a week. His hair was curly, like he had the same idea Tommy did about letting it grow out. His eyes were still their clear blue, albeit a little sad but dancing with something else- hope maybe? He was wearing the hoodie he recognised from that first coffee date (so that’s where it went) and was holding poster board- 

What? 

Evan was standing in front of his door with a stack of white poster board in his hands, the first one saying, ‘Tell them it’s carol singers.’ 

Tommy blinked. “Ev- Buck, there’s no one el-” 

He shook the stack hard, giving a pointed look down at the cards before back up at him. There was a speaker set down next to him and the boards in hand... The entire scene felt familiar. 

There was no way- 

Evan wanted him to play along, he’d play along. He looked back over his shoulder, to the TV that still had Julia Roberts on screen. “It’s carol singers.” 

He turned back to Evan, who has fiddling with his phone until music began pouring out of the speaker. Silent Night started playing and Tommy felt tears prick the corner of his eyes. 

He knew this scene by heart. 

Evan dropped the first card, the second one reading ‘I’m sorry.’ 

He opened his mouth to speak, Evan didn’t need to be sorry, Tommy was sorry, but another look from him promptly shut him up. He nodded, Evan smiling back. 

The card dropped. ‘It’s been over 2 months since you walked out of my loft.’ 

‘So I’m saying sorry and I’ll say it again.’ 

‘Sorry for jumping right to moving in without properly talking.’ 

‘And saying to move into the loft (that was stupid, you have a house, we’re at your house).’ He let out a laugh at that, and got another smile out of Evan. 

This was really happening. Holy shit, Evan was standing in front of his house in the middle of August, blaring Silent Night from his speaker and holding up cards to give a whole silent speech. 

It was Love, Actually in real life. For him. Evan was doing this for Tommy.  

Tears were rolling down his face now, and he hastily wiped them away to read the next one. 

‘I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.’ 

‘Or talk things out better.’ 

‘And I know you’re thinking that I’m saying sorry too much, and that you’re also sorry.’ 

He was, he so very was. And the look in Evan’s eyes told him he knew, he saw it. 

‘I know you are, and I forgive you.’ He met his eyes again, mouthing a very watery ‘I forgive you, too.’ 

Evan had tears in his eyes as well, as he smiled back and mouthed ‘I know.’ 

He itched to move closer, to pull him back into his arms, to hold him. But Evan still had a stack in his hands, and Tommy was touched and curious and seen. 

‘I know ‘admire’ wasn’t the right word to say back then.’ He sucked in a breath, remembering the whole speech vividly. 

‘Even though I do admire how you got to where you are now.’ 

‘I don’t admire you, Tommy Kinard.’ 

‘I love you.’ 

Tommy let out a sob then, knees almost buckling as he clutched the doorframe with one hand to stay upright. Evan loves him. 

He moved to take a step forward, but Evan took one back, shaking his head even though he looked like he wanted nothing more than to be closer to Tommy as well. He still had more to say. 

Tommy nodded, letting the tears run freely down his face. Evan loves him. 

The next card was full of writing and Tommy could barely read all of it. It was numbered though, and when Tommy dragged his eyes across it (cleft, Muay Thai, hands, beer knowledge...) the last number went to 50. 

50 things Evan loved about him. 

The card dropped and Tommy almost thought it was a repeat until he saw the last number. 

100. 

His jaw dropped, a broken sob leaving him. 

Evan wrote out a list of 100 things he loves about him. About Tommy.  

He ran because he was scared, that Evan was jumping the gun by asking him to move into the loft, that he didn’t actually love him, that he was just a place holder until he went and found something better. 

But here was Evan, standing here in the middle of August with cards that listed out 100 things he loved about him, reenacting his favourite movie of all time. For him.  

‘I love you, Tommy Kinard.’ A fresh wave of tears flowing from both of them. 

‘And for the love of God, please call me Evan.’ 

“Evan, please can I move now?” He whispered, watching as he dropped the last board and stood there, almost sheepishly. 

Silent Night was still playing on loop, and Evan was standing there in his hoodie, and he’d never looked more perfect in his life. 

He nodded, and that was all Tommy needed before he went rushing forward, wrapping his arms around him tight. 

To his credit, Evan only stumbled back a step, his own arms immediately circling around Tommy’s waist. 

It’d been two months too long. He wanted this every day. He wants this for the rest of his life. 

Tommy didn’t believe in soulmates, not really. He didn’t believe that there was someone out there with the other half of his soul. But then Evan showed up in life on a hurricane and everything afterwards just felt so right, like he was missing something before Evan came in. 

Evan was his person, through and through. He didn’t just love Tommy, he knew him. He knew that he was a romantic at heart, the soft soul he kept hidden away, and came out with the biggest romantic gesture anyone had ever done for him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into Evan’s curls, feeling his arms tighten to pull him impossibly closer.  

“I love you.” He said it like a promise, a prayer, and Tommy melted. He pulled away just enough to look Evan in the eye. His face was splotchy and red with tears and Tommy had no doubt that he looked the same, if not worse. 

Evan Buckley loved him. 

He pressed their lips together, hard and desperate and passionate. Evan kissed him back like a man starved, and if he had any doubts about how he felt even after the board display, he didn’t have any now. 

They pulled apart to take a breath, and Tommy stared at his face. The one he knew by heart, the one he knew no amount of time would ever make him forget.  

“I love you.” The smile he received was blinding.  

Once it’s out in the open, it’s all he can say. It’s all he wants to say.  

He pulled Evan into the house, casting a look back at the speaker and the large pile of cards still sitting on the walkway up to the door.  

Evan brought him back into a kiss the second the door closed. His hands tangled in his curls, pulling Tommy down just a hair. This one was less desperate, and Evan was guiding him over to the couch.  

He fell back first, Evan settling on top of him. He broke away for only a moment, whispered “I love you” against his lips before diving back in again. 

This is the conversation they should have had two months ago. Tommy’s felt this way since the hospital wedding, hell, maybe even before then.  

And if the way Evan kissed him said anything, then he wasn’t alone in that feeling either.  

He pulled away this time, staring into Evan’s blue eyes as his thumb ghosted over his birthmark. There wasn’t a need for anymore conversation right now, Tommy will make sure to give his own apology later. 

But right now, with Evan as a comforting weight on top of him, a smile on his face as he moved impossibly closer into his touch, there was only one thing that needed to be said. 

“I love you.” 

[justforbooks]

If anybody deserved the title of “Renaissance man” it would be Carl Davis, who has died aged 86 following a brain haemorrhage. A formidably gifted composer and conductor, in a career spanning seven decades he wrote scores for a string of successful films and a long list of some of the best remembered programmes on British television, including the 1995 BBC production of Pride and Prejudice.

Davis won a Bafta and an Ivor Novello award for his score for Karel Reisz’s The French Lieutenant’s Woman (1981), scripted by Harold Pinter and starring the Oscar-nominated Meryl Streep, and worked on many other prominent films, including Scandal (1989), starring Ian McKellen and Joanne Whalley, Ken Russell’s The Rainbow (1989) and The Great Gatsby (2000). His theme music for the 1984 horse-racing drama Champions, starring John Hurt as the Grand National winner Bob Champion, was subsequently used by the BBC for its Grand National coverage.

A fascination for the era of silent movies prompted Davis to create new scores to accompany numerous classics from cinema’s early years, including his composition for Abel Gance’s sprawling 1927 epic, Napoleon. His work helped trigger an international revival of presentations of silent films with a live orchestra.

He achieved another career highlight when he collaborated with Sir Paul McCartney on his Liverpool Oratorio, an eight-movement piece based on McCartney’s experiences of growing up in Liverpool. The piece was recorded in Liverpool Cathedral in 1991, featuring the classical soloists Kiri Te Kanawa and Willard White.

Despite his relentless schedule and prolific output, Davis enjoyed a reputation as an expansive and witty conversationalist who could always make time for friends or interviewers. When conducting at occasions such as the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic’s Summer Pops concerts or the BBC’s Proms in the Park, he would gently subvert notions of classical seriousness by conducting in a union jack outfit or a gold lamé coat.

Born in Brooklyn, New York, Carl was the son of Sara (nee Perlmutter), a teacher, and Isadore Davis, a post office worker. His Jewish family had ancestry in Poland and Russia. Encouraged by his mother, he displayed precocious musical ability. He started playing piano at the age of two, and soon became an adept sight-reader. He recalled how from an early age he would listen to the Metropolitan Opera’s live radio broadcasts on Saturday afternoons, and he would obsessively study musical scores of operas and orchestral pieces obtained from Brooklyn’s public libraries.

He took lessons with the composers Hugo Kauder and Paul Nordoff (later the co-founder of the Nordoff-Robbins music therapy programme), then with the Danish modernist composer Per Nørgård in Copenhagen. He studied at Queens College, New York, and the New England Conservatory of Music, Boston, and as an 18-year-old served as an accompanist to the Robert Shaw Chorale. He then attended Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson in upstate New York, which has had a remarkable roll-call of actors, writers, film-makers and musicians pass through its portals. He graduated from Bard as a composer, having already begun to compose music for theatrical productions.

In 1958 he became an assistant conductor at the New York City Opera, and then won an off-Broadway Emmy award as co-composer of the 1959 revue Diversions. This was staged at the Edinburgh festival in 1961 and subsequently transferred to the Arts theatre in London, retitled Twists. It caught the eye of Ned Sherrin, then working in production at the BBC. He commissioned Davis, who had moved to London and was living in decrepit lodgings in Notting Hill, to write music for the satirical TV show That Was the Week That Was.

It was the start of his prolific and varied career in the UK. The Davis touch added lustre to the television movies The Snow Goose (BBC, 1971) and The Naked Civil Servant (Thames Television, 1975); the adaptation of the Anita Brookner novel Hotel Du Lac (BBC, 1986); and the miniseries A Year in Provence (BBC, 1993) and A Dance to the Music of Time (Channel 4, 1997) among many others.

A notable milestone was his ominous and unsettling score for Thames’s The World at War (1973), which was produced by Jeremy Isaacs. It was through Isaacs that Davis became involved in the Thames TV series Hollywood: A Celebration of the American Silent Film, based on the book The Parade’s Gone By … by the film historian Kevin Brownlow.

Davis was tasked with tracking down musicians who had worked on films during the silent era, and the series set him off on a decades-long crusade to revive silent films with newly created scores. He enjoyed the challenge of conducting the music live as the film played. “You have to keep going,” he told the Arts Desk’s Graham Rickson in 2021. “Some conductors use click tracks and headphones. I’m old-fashioned and don’t like being tied to machinery – I try to conduct these things with as little apparatus as possible.”

The most dramatic expression of this was his work on Napoleon, and in 1980 Davis conducted a performance of it with an orchestra and audience at the Empire, Leicester Square. “That first screening wasn’t flawless, but it was electrifying,” he recalled. He subsequently conducted performances around the world, and the score let to him being appointed chevalier of France’s Ordre des Arts et des Lettres in 1983.

He went on to compose music for more than 50 silent films featuring stars such as Greta Garbo and Rudolph Valentino, for comedies by Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton, and for classics such as Ben-Hur (1925), the Douglas Fairbanks swashbuckler The Thief of Bagdad (1924) and DW Griffith’s Intolerance (1916).

Another genre which Davis excelled at composing for was dance. “The relationship between film and ballet is striking, and I find myself composing more and more ballet scores now, something which the film work has made me much better at,” he told Rickson. For Northern Ballet theatre, he worked with the choreographer Gillian Lynne on A Simple Man (1987) and Lipizzaner (1989). For Scottish Ballet, he collaborated with Robert Cohan, a fellow New Yorker, on A Christmas Carol (1992) and Aladdin (2000). And for English National Ballet’s Alice in Wonderland (1995), Davis (commissioned by ENB’s artistic director Derek Deane) drew on themes by Tchaikovsky.

It was also through Deane’s influence that Davis was commissioned by the National Ballet of Croatia to write Lady of the Camellias (2008), which gave him the opportunity to revisit Alexandre Dumas’s original novel and Verdi’s operatic version of it, La Traviata. The opera had been a favourite of Davis’s since his childhood days of listening to Met broadcasts, and he had also worked on a production of it for New York City Opera. The resulting piece gave the story a contemporary twist, so “the action could flow without pause and indeed the production did effectively utilise projections and film”, as Davis wrote in the recording’s sleeve notes.

He received a Bafta special lifetime achievement award in 2003, and in 2005 he was made CBE.

In 1970 he married the actor Jean Boht, who starred in Carla Lane’s sitcom Bread. She survives him, along with their daughters, Hannah and Jessie.

🔔 Carl Davis, composer and conductor, born 28 October 1936; died 3 August 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[backpockct]

COURTNEY EATON. SHE & HER  / have you ever heard of I WANNA GET BETTER  by bleachers, well, it describes ARDEN GRAHAM to a tee! the twenty six  year old, and MECHANIC @ PIT STOP was spotted browsing through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know them? would you say SHE is more reticent or more WARM-HEARTED instead? anyway, they remind me of, well worn vans trainers, hands stained with car grease, flannel shirts around your waist, fake smiles that hide a lot. maybe you’ll bump into them soon!

triggers: postpartum depression / divorce

THE BASICS:

full name: arden mae graham

birthday: 6th october 1996 (26 years old)

gender: cis woman (she/her)

sexuality: pansexual

relationship status: very single

BASIC INTRO:

born and raised a london girly, arden is an only child. her parents divorced when she was young, she was primarily raised by her dad.

of course, she had a good relationship with her mother, but she's always been a daddy's girl.

growing up, arden was a tomboy, always getting into scrapes, and troubles, helping her dad fix things.

her fascination with cars started when her dad bought an old car, they worked together to do it up.

as a teenager, she hung out at her dad's work a lot, he's the owner of a contracting company.

she was friendly with all of the workers, but one day she laid her eyes on a young man called micah (@soliloquivm) , the rest was history.

eventually, the pair got together, they spent all their time together and her dad noticed this, he wasn't happy.

then one thing lead to another & arden became pregnant, it wasn't something she was excepting. but they decided to keep the baby, which didn't help things with her dad.

her dad made things very difficult for micah, much to arden's dismay, so the young man had to move to another job.

adalyn was born and for the first week's everything was "fine", arden was lying. she wasn't feeling that "new born spark" , it was awkward.

she struggled to connect with little adalyn, instead of being happy about becoming a mother, she was stressed, worried, tired and things just seemed off.

arden watched other mums and their babies, having a great time together, then she looked at herself & adalyn, it didn't seem the same. it felt like the young girl didn't like her, it seemed just like her mother, she was a daddy's girl, which made things worse.

it wasn't an easy decision for arden to leave, she debated it for a long time, but she needed to escape and start afresh.

she left everyone she loved a note, packed up what little things she had and moved to the USA.

arden got a pokey apartment in new york city and trained to become a mechanic full-time.

she also went to therapy and worked through her issues, a professional diagnosed her with postpartum depression

but she missed micah, a lot, she missed her loved ones back in the UK, so after a few years, she moved back.

now arden is twenty six, she's been back in notting hill for only a few weeks, she's currently living with her dad.

she still very much has feelings for micah!! they never went away!! she adores him!!

she works at the local garage as a mechanic, she still loves fixing cars, arden doesn't care that she's one of the only women in the garage. she will fight u if u say anything weird about that!!

arden is v nervous about being a mum again, that's quite a scary topic, she's not faced yet!!

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

best friends / childhood friends / friends

good influence / bad influence

sibling type relationship

fwbs / hook ups

clients

co-workers

neighbours

if you’d like to plot with any of my muses then please feel free to hit me up on discord @ corey in wetherspoons ™#0678!!

[julierysava]

🌆✨ A Modern Week in London: Exploring the Best of the City's Vibes! ✨🌆

Hey there, urban explorers and city dwellers! 🏙️ Ready to embark on a virtual journey through the vibrant streets of London? From bustling markets to serene parks and everything in between, here's a glimpse into a modern week in this iconic metropolis:

🌟 Monday: Kickstart the Week with Culture Start your week on a high note by immersing yourself in London's rich cultural scene. Visit the world-renowned British Museum to marvel at ancient artifacts or explore the Tate Modern for a dose of contemporary art inspiration.

🍽️ Tuesday: Culinary Adventures Await Treat your taste buds to a culinary adventure across the city's diverse gastronomic landscape. From trendy street food markets like Borough Market to upscale dining experiences in Soho, there's no shortage of delicious eats to discover.

🏞️ Wednesday: Nature Escapes Escape the hustle and bustle of the city with a leisurely stroll through one of London's picturesque parks. Whether it's Hyde Park, Regent's Park, or Hampstead Heath, take a moment to reconnect with nature amidst the urban sprawl.

🛍️ Thursday: Retail Therapy Indulge in some retail therapy along London's iconic shopping streets. From the luxury boutiques of Bond Street to the vintage finds in Camden Market, unleash your inner shopaholic and treat yourself to something special.

🎭 Friday: Nightlife Extravaganza As the sun sets, London comes alive with an electrifying nightlife scene. Head to Shoreditch for trendy cocktail bars and underground clubs or catch a West End show in Theatreland for a dose of theatrical magic.

🍳 Saturday: Brunch not to Miss Savor a leisurely brunch at one of London's hip cafés or brunch spots. Whether you're craving avocado toast and flat whites or a traditional English breakfast, start your weekend off right with good food and great company.

🚶 Sunday: Urban Exploration Wrap up your week with a leisurely day of urban exploration. Wander through the charming streets of Notting Hill, admire the colorful murals in Shoreditch, or hop on a river cruise along the Thames for a different perspective of the city.

Ready to dive into the vibrant tapestry of London's modern landscape? Whether you're a local looking for new adventures or a visitor eager to explore, there's always something exciting to discover in this dynamic city. Stay tuned for more urban escapades and city vibes! 🌟🏙️

[thailondon5]

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[taruntravell]

Best Things to do in London

London is a vibrant and diverse city with a plethora of activities to suit all interests. Here's a list of some of the best things to do in London:

Visit the British Museum: Explore a vast collection of art and artifacts from around the world, including the Rosetta Stone and the Elgin Marbles.

See the Tower of London: Discover the history of this iconic castle, which has served as a royal palace, prison, and treasury. Don't miss the Crown Jewels exhibit.

Take a ride on the London Eye: Enjoy stunning panoramic views of the city's skyline from this giant Ferris wheel on the South Bank of the River Thames.

Stroll through Hyde Park: Relax in one of London's most famous parks, where you can rent a boat on the Serpentine, have a picnic, or simply enjoy the greenery.

Explore the Tate Modern: Immerse yourself in contemporary and modern art at this renowned museum housed in a former power station.

Wander around Covent Garden: Experience street performances, boutique shopping, and a wide range of restaurants and cafes in this bustling district.

Go to the West End: Catch a world-class theater production in London's famous theater district. Musicals, plays, and performances cater to all tastes.

Visit the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben: Admire the stunning architecture of the UK's political hub and the iconic clock tower (currently under renovation).

Tour Buckingham Palace: Witness the Changing of the Guard ceremony and explore the official residence of the British monarch during the summer months.

Take a cruise on the Thames: Enjoy a unique perspective of the city's landmarks, including the Tower Bridge, London Bridge, and the Shard.

Shop on Oxford Street: Indulge in retail therapy at one of the world's most famous shopping streets, featuring a variety of stores, boutiques, and department stores.

Visit the Natural History Museum: Explore fascinating exhibits on the natural world, dinosaurs, gems, and minerals, all housed in a stunning Victorian building.

Discover the Victoria and Albert Museum: Marvel at a diverse collection of art and design, ranging from fashion and textiles to ceramics and sculptures.

Explore the Camden Market: Experience an eclectic mix of food stalls, vintage shops, and alternative fashion in this lively market area.

Dine at Borough Market: Savor delicious street food, fresh produce, and artisanal products at one of London's oldest and most renowned food markets.

Take a day trip to Windsor: Visit Windsor Castle, the oldest and largest inhabited castle in the world, located just outside of London.

Experience the Southbank Centre: Attend concerts, exhibitions, and cultural events at this riverside complex featuring the Royal Festival Hall and the Hayward Gallery.

Roam through Notting Hill: Explore the charming streets, colorful houses, and quirky shops in this trendy neighborhood, known for the Portobello Road Market.

Tour the Royal Observatory in Greenwich: Stand on the Prime Meridian line and learn about astronomy and navigation in this historic location.

Cruise the canals in Little Venice: Enjoy a tranquil boat ride through this picturesque area where the Grand Union and Regent's Canals meet.

Remember that this is just a snapshot of the many incredible things to do in London. The city offers an endless array of attractions, neighborhoods, and cultural experiences to suit all tastes and interests.

[palomahasenteredthechat]

Awakening

Warnings: Angst, no smut but still 18+ for mature themes, weaves the narratives from Passion Play, The Box and Firestick together.

Things die, but things are reborn.

For @quinnypixie, @figmentofquinn, @etherealglimmer and @ghostinthebackofyourhead

And for whoever else needs it.

“Are you all right?”

The words jar you out of your reverie. You realize you’ve been holding the book in your hand for over a minute, as the clerk has waited expectantly for you to put it down so she can ring you up.

“Yes, sorry, here you go.” You place the book carefully on the counter. A self-help book. You feel ashamed.

“Oh, you must let us know how it is, it’s quite the best-seller,” the clerk says chirpily. You nod, cheeks hot, as she places it in the bag.

Your 30th birthday, and you’re buying a self-help guide, because clearly you have no idea what you’re doing with your life.

Exiting the shop, the fresh spring breeze ruffles your hair. It’s a beautiful day, and everything is finally in bloom after a gloomy winter. You should be grateful for such beauty and for the day you have planned – lunch with family, drinks and dinner with your best girlfriends. But it took all your energy just to get out of bed.

At first you thought it was seasonal. The dark winter, after all. So you bought a bright light therapy lamp for your bedroom. But then you realized it wasn’t going away, whatever it was. So a prudent visit to your GP. Bloodwork, physical. All on the up and up. Perhaps a bit low on iron.

One month later, it’s worse.

You feel dissociated from yourself, and from people in your life. You’ve lost interest in going out. You don’t want to name this thing that sits on your chest at night, that wraps its arms around your eyes and ears during the day. Naming it would make it real. But you feel it.

How far you’ve come from New Year’s.

Starting the year with purpose. Bright eyed, clear. And then slowly that purpose seeped away. At least work has been rewarding, you are grateful your series has aired and you have already been asked to return for next season. Summer plans are underway with an original play to be workshopped in Bristol in a few months.  Your new agent is pleased.

You care about none of it.

You’re angry at yourself for being in this hole. Snap out of it, you say to yourself. Stop wallowing. Stop letting a man control how you feel.

Meditation. Yoga. Cycling. Pilates. Aromatherapy. All so unbearably cliché.

Perhaps it’s turning thirty, a quarter-life crisis or some such, reflection of a decade gone past and uncertainty of what lies ahead. Perhaps you should try journaling.

One foot in front of the other, plodding toward lunch with your parents and brother, who have come up for the occasion. You catch your reflection in a storefront window and are surprised by the cool, polished image walking beside you. Imposter, you think.

-------

Later, dinner and drinks with Kat and Vondra, tucked in a restaurant in Notting Hill.  Nothing too trendy or posh, away from the usual stomping grounds. It’s quiet and you have most of the dining room to yourself.

“To 30,” toasts Kat. “Especially when you don’t look a day over 25.”

“To 30.” You gamely raise your glass.

The women are quiet as you politely sip, then place your glass down. Vondra looks at Kat, who shakes her head and mouths ‘not now’.

“Oh go on, then. Say it.”

Kat sighs. “Darling. You-you’re not well.”

“I’m fine,” you say resolutely. “Perfectly fine.”

“We all know you’re not,” snorts Vondra. “We all know you’re still pining over that twat.”

You laugh, but it’s hollow. “That’s ridiculous. I ended things on New Year’s.”

“Right darling, which is why we’re so worried about you.” Kat has taken one of your hands in hers. “You haven’t gone out with anyone, have canceled all the wonderful plans I put together, it’s like you’re…waiting for something.”

“He’s long gone,” says Vondra, her mouth full of aubergine. “Move on.”

“I am, I have…” you falter. “It’s just hard to meet people…”

Kat and Vondra look at each other. Your stomach sinks.

“Which is why we have the perfect gentleman lined up and ready to go!” Kat beams. “And he’s not an actor!”

-----

Later, drinks at a rooftop bar, the breeze a bit too chilly. You huddle in your coat as Kat chats up two friends of hers, Margaret and Bea, who met up with your party for cocktails. Vondra returns with a warm cup of tea and you thank her.

Kat is whispering to Margaret and they both turn to look at you.  Perhaps Margaret is the source of this mysterious man Kat is keen to set you up with. Vondra, always astute, takes your hand and squeezes it. You’re grateful for her supportive silence as you’re finding the effort to make conversation is too much. After more whispering, Margaret starts texting on her phone as Kat sits down on your other side and pats your knee. She looks at her watch.

After a half hour, you stand, hoping to take your leave when Margaret stands as well, startling you, and waves. A woman with dark brown hair makes her way toward your group. She’s dressed more casually, in jeans and a jumper, and her hair is piled up haphazardly on her head.

“Sorry, I think David was taken a bit by surprise when he had to take over bedtime. What’s so important it couldn’t wait?”

Kat stands too, and Bea turns and shrieks, hugging the woman tightly. “Oh my god! You look FABULOUS! You’ve lost all the baby weight!”

“Elliot is 18 months,” the woman says a bit sardonically. “But thank you.” She looks up and extends her hand. “Hello, I’m Janine.”

“Anna,” you respond. “Nice to meet you. Please, make yourself comfortable, I’m just heading out.”

“No you’re not,” says Kat firmly, putting her hand on your arm. “We’re staging an intervention. Janine can tell you all about it.”

“About what?” Janine asks, unwinding her scarf.

“HIM.” Margaret says.

You look from Kat to Margaret, completely confused. Janine freezes for a moment, and then slowly smiles. “Ah. Well, then, I’m going to need a proper drink.”

-----

It takes Janine an hour to tell the whole story. You’re rapt, your tiredness forgotten, as she talks about working with him, the circumstances that led her to change her look, how they came together, and most importantly, how they fell apart.

“He stopped calling me, stopped responding to my texts,” she said. “It was like I never existed.”

Vondra sighs and mouths twat and Bea nods.

“At first, I thought it was something that I’d done. But then I realized that he’d simply moved on. It was all right, really, we were both very busy and it was hard to find time to be together. So I had my cry, picked myself up and gave myself a talking to, and doubled down on work. After that, I went on tour and met David, and the rest is history.” She shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

You’re running your fingers around the rim of the tea cup, your tea gone cold long ago.

“Was it…harder, after you’d been with him? Or was it harder when you were pining for him?”

Janine looks deep into the bottom of her glass before responding.

“I think before,” she said softly. “Afterward, I had memories to hold on to.”

“And those memories…didn’t…” you don’t finish your question, but Janine answers it regardless.

“I didn’t let them.”

------

Back in your flat, you sit in the darkness, ruminating on Janine’s words. You sense that she didn’t share the full story. How could she?

You think back to that strange phone conversation. You were awake but still in bed, and so surprised to see his number you answered without thinking. The despair in his voice, over someone else, pouring from the phone into your heart. Flaring your own pain.

You told no one about it. Sometimes you sit at home with the phone in your hand in the dark, wondering if he’ll call or text.

You were doing exactly that when the notification came. Tagged along with everyone else but Janine.

Vomiting into the sink.

You drift off curled up on the couch, and dream of nothing.

------

A week goes by, and you force yourself to read a chapter of your new book each morning. Rehearsals are set to begin for the play and things get busier. It helps a little. You managed to ignore Kat’s texts but sooner or later this planned encounter with the Not Actor will need to happen.

Saturday night there’s a party at a posh art gallery. Sunday night a play opening.

Smiles and nods, glasses of wine.

Tuesday you hear he’s back in town from a mutual friend.

Two nights later, he walks by you in Soho on the other side of the street. You pretend not to see each other. One foot in front of the other, playing the part of a London sophisticate on her way home, when inside your heart is crumbling into dust.

The next weekend, you’re both at the same party. He looks tanned and rested, and his hair is styled differently. It suits him.  You’re trapped in the corner of the kitchen as he approaches slowly. He leans forward and gives you his cheek. “How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. And you?”

“Very well, thank you.”

Awkward smiles, and then you excuse yourself and brush past him, his scent lingering. You avoid each other for the rest of the night.

Another week passes. You’ve started rehearsals. The weather heats up. Your houseplant shrivels, finally succumbing to being ignored on your windowsill. You finish the book and donate it to the library.

That Sunday, you head out of the house for a candlelight yoga class, hoping the stretching will help you sleep. You bend and contort yourself on the mat, chant and work through your breath. Afterward, a quick takeaway, a guilty pleasure after purifying yourself.

You’re sitting on a bench, licking grease off your fingers, when you see him. He’s walking again, but something is off. He’s weaving. You stand, and without thinking dart across the street and take his arm.

He’s drunk or high. You can’t quite tell which. Perhaps both.

“Anna,” he drawls, and his hand clasps yours. His pupils are massively dilated.

“Let’s get you home.”

------

The walk back to his house is silent. Night jasmine is blooming and fills your senses. His mouth slightly open, you stand anxiously as he keys in the code three times before the door opens.

The house is dark and he fumbles for a light switch. “Tired.” He kicks off his shoes.

“Right, let’s get you situated.”

He drops his coat onto the floor before starting up the stairs. You follow, worried he might fall backwards in the dark. Up two flights, and into his bedroom. The door to the balcony is open, and moonlight is streaming through. You move to close it but he puts his hand on your arm. “No, keep it.”

You guide him back to the bed and he sits on it before flopping backward.

A moment while he stares at you. Self-consciously, you look down at your sweatshirt over your yoga pants. You need to get home.

“Well, you should be all right. I’ll let myself out.”

He rises to sitting and removes the belt from his pants. “Wait.” He holds out the belt.

Confused, you step forward. Perhaps he wants you to put it away?

“Take it,” he says. You do.

“I need you to punish me.”

Your mouth goes dry.

“I…”

“Please. I need you to punish me with it. Or I won’t be able to sleep.”

Your heart starts beating very fast in your chest, the kabob heavy in your stomach.

“I told you I can’t do that.” You’re clutching the belt so tightly your knuckles are cramping. He starts to clumsily unbutton his shirt, revealing his chest.

You feel like your feet are rooted to the spot as he tosses the shirt onto the floor and rises. He steps closer and puts his hands on your waist.

“Please. Please, Anna. Please.”

“No.”

“Please,” he whispers, and begins to kiss your neck.

You waver. “I can’t…”

“Please,” he murmurs and he’s imprinting the word into you with his kisses, gripping you tightly while you clutch the belt.  Your heart is in your throat and you can barely get words out.

“Joseph, you need someone else. I can’t help you. I-can’t help myself.”

He rises and stares into your eyes. “There’s no one else,” he whispers. “I don’t have anyone else.”

“That’s ridiculous, of course you do-“

“No one,” he whispers, and kisses you. You’re frozen as his tongue gently licks in between your lips, and the taste of him makes you dizzy. Fear, anger, and arousal roil in your stomach.

It’s like you become another person.

You push him off of you, roughly, and push him on the bed.  He smiles, spreading his legs, as you wind the belt around your hand and climb on top of him.

“That’s it,” he says eagerly and puts his hands behind his head.

You throw the belt against the wall. He groans and closes his eyes. “Bloody hell, what has gotten into everyone?”

“LISTEN,” you say. His eyes snap open.

“I am not the person for this. I am in a bad place. Because of you, I think, I don’t know, but I’m depressed. Really, legitimately depressed, and I think I need help.” You gulp, gasping for air.

He blinks up at you.

“I don’t know why I always keep helping you, and maybe I need to stop, but I won’t do this. I can’t do this, and you should know better.”

“I’m not going to judged for my sexual preferences,” he snaps.

“I’m not judging you for that! I’m angry at you for taking me for granted!”

He groans again and rubs his eyes. “I didn’t ask you to help me. You ran to ME.”

His words sting and you start to cry. You roll off to the side and curl up into a ball. He swears under his breath and rolls behind you, hugging you from behind as you weep.

Time passes. You wipe your nose with your sleeve. You wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“You cry so quietly,” he says.

“I’ve learnt to keep it in,” you reply. Slowly, you ease your legs off his bed and stand. One foot in front of the other. Grabbing your purse from the floor.

“I’ll see you, then.” His voice bounces off the emptiness.

You don’t look back.

-----

Lunch date with Not an Actor, whose name is Colin. Nice enough. He’s a book editor and comes from a good family. You spend a pleasant afternoon in the museum and make plans to see each other next weekend.

Rehearsals. Work. Pilates. Shopping. Cleaning the flat. You toss the houseplant into the bin. One foot in front of the other.

Drinks with Vondra at a magazine launch. Smiles and nods, glasses of wine.

Walking home, the air fragrant with jasmine. Taking your time because you don’t want to be inside your flat. Lost in thought, you start when a hand touches you on the shoulder.

“I’ve been callin’ your name for two minutes, darlin’.”  You turn and laugh in surprise; it’s Dylan, an old friend from drama school. You hug him tightly.

“Sorry, my head’s been a muddle. How are you?”

“Buy me a drink and I’ll tell ya.” He winks.

You laugh. “All right.”

A few minutes later, you’re sipping pints at a pub near the river, catching up on gossip and work. He’s been cast in a new play and is excited about it. You tell him about the one you’re working on and trade gossip about various friends working throughout town. It’s fun and you feel happier than you have in ages. You fuss with your coat as he returns with two more pints.

“You seein’ anyone?” he asks casually, lighting a cigarette.

“Er, no, not particularly.”

He looks up. “It’s a yes or no question, darlin’.”

Your stomach flips. “No.”

He smiles, and it’s sly. “Should we have some fun then?”

-------

You’d forgotten what it was like to have a casual shag.

His swearing when he tripped over his shoe and you bursting out laughing.

Smiling and sweating, making fun of yourselves in the dim light.

Comparing scars. Sharing a cigarette.

A tender kiss on your cheek as he sees you into a cab. “Be good, darlin’. Call me.”

A feeling of lightness all the way home.

------

The next morning, you sleep in far later than usual, feeling pleasantly sore. You stretch languidly, enjoying the sensation. Reaching for your phone, you find two texts.

The first from Colin:

Good morning, I’ve got two tickets to RSC matinee of Henry IV next Sunday. Interested? We could lunch before. Hope you are well.

The second from Dylan:

Good morning, would have been better next to you. Had a wonderful time last night

The heavy feeling has lifted, and for a moment you wonder why. You text Vondra:

Am I so shallow that I’m only happy when men pay attention to me?

She responds:

No darling you are the most independent woman I know. You’re finally getting the treatment you deserve.

You send her a smiley emoji before sitting up and puttering to the kitchen and putting on a kettle for tea.

Scrolling through your phone, you see a text from Kat you missed:

Janine says you can reach her anytime if you need to

Below is a number. Without thinking, you press it. She answers on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“It’s Anna. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, we’re at the zoo. Elliot is with his grandparents. How are you?”

You think about how you truly are. “I’m in free fall. I want to let go but I can’t.”

Janine pauses before responding. “It took me a very long time.”

“Why is it so hard?”

“He makes it hard. He gives you little pieces, so you keep coming back. But he never gives you all of it. So you can never make up your mind. At first it’s like a mystery, but eventually it feels like being in prison.”

You’re weeping again, hearing your feelings so perfectly articulated. You blow your nose loudly in a napkin. “What made you ready to be with someone else?”

“I just realized that I had never had the attention of someone else, really had it, and once I did, once I had someone who was courteous and kind and made sure I was taken care of, that I realized what I was missing.”

You’re nodding, though she can’t see you.

“Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a bore, bothering you on your Sunday.”

“Not at all. I completely understand. I have faith in you, and I’m just a phone call away.”

“Thanks.” You ring off.

You rise and pour hot water into your cup, then turn and gaze out your window. The morning sunlight illuminates the ledge and you see the slight outline of where the houseplant used to be.

Time for a new one, you think.

[nottinghillhq]

EZRA JAMES our madison iseman is looking for her BEST FRIENDS (2), with the face of utp, but some suggestions are: jordan fisher, barbie ferriera, amita suman, carlacia grant, archie reneaux, israel broussard, or brianne tju and in the age range of 23-28. if you’re interested and want more details please contact rachael at urbnlgnds (is not necessary) 

[ TAKEN BY DYLAN SÁNCHEZ & LESTARI JIANG ]

DETAILS INCLUDE: after moving to notting hill at fifteen, ezra felt pretty lost. she’s always been an incredibly quiet individual, so for her to make friends is almost impossible, but she got lucky with this particular group of people. she likes that they let her blend into the background without leaving her out entirely, and that they never abandon her even on her saddest days. this group is always there to support ezra, and they’re a big reason that she started going to therapy regularly after the passing of her boyfriend. essentially they’ve been one of her biggest support systems for the last ten years, and she holds them extremely close because of it!

[minipliny]

2, 7, 19, 39 for the end of year book asks :)

2 did you have any reading goals?

I think my reading goal was partly to do some reading, which I succeeded at (37 books). However, my goal to finish the 4 books I was in the middle of reading in 2022 is....one quarter complete. I finished Linda Grant's "The Clothes On Their Backs" which was a....fashion themed retelling of the life of Peter Rachman, refugee Notting Hill slumlord....with.....added.....stabbing? I don't know what to say about this book. I am still finishing Ayahs, Lascars and Princes by Rozina Visram, The Boundless Sea by David Abulafia and The Devil that danced on water by Aminatta Forna because these are all physical books and I can't find them amid all the other books in our one bedroom flat (the cats knock them off my bedside table)

7 The oldest book you read this year

I'm failing at reading classic literature this year! Oh my god. I usually have at least one nineteenth century book under my belt. It might be Mavis Gallant's amazing stories of postwar Paris, filled with dislocated Australians, abandoned and precocious children, last-chance emigres, quasi Fascists, washed up art collectors, miserable Calvinists, cunning widows, and anxious German students at protests.

19 best non fiction book you read this year

All my non fiction has been reading for my evening class. I can't pick a favourite therapy textbook, I don't know enough to make endorsements here!

39 I'll come back to this as I didn't screencap this part of the post

[johnypage95]

Possibility of Enhancing General Well-Being and Mental Health:-

The fast-paced society of today presents us with several obstacles. When we struggle with life's issues frequently, it affects our mental health. Anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues have become more common. Mental health issues should be addressed because ignoring them is unhealthy. https://www.themindfulpractice.co.uk/blog/possibility-of-enhancing-general-well-being-and-mental-health.html

[evie568]

Work in progress

♫ ♪ Spotify playlist : Ella changed the Name — Previously named : Cut ; by eviewivi

Date of creation : December 2017 — 3h6m

Let’s start from the beginning.

— —

· Who am I?

My name is Evie.

It was not my given name. I chose it myself. I always wanted a long name, like “Isabella” or “Elisabeth”, but I was given Eve. So I decided to add another letter to it to make it longer (age 4/5).

Some of my diplomas say “Evie”, and others say “Eve”. My passport says “Eve” whereas my social insurance card says “Evie”.

It’s a bit of a mess.

— —

I was born in 1995, in London and moved to the South of France with my family (age 8).

My parents are both English (although they enjoy saying they’re French since they have duel nationality now). I have 2 older sisters and 1 older brother.

At the age of 8, I remember that I could count up to 30 in French and say “Bonjour”. That was about it. I was put in a French school straight away and it was scary at first.

— —

Learning to speak French came naturally as I was young. The grammar was a little harder, and I still have difficulty with it today.

I actually have difficulty in English too. I often make mistakes.

Being born in one country and moving to another can sometimes be confusing.

“Are you French?” Not really…

“English?” Neither…

“So what are you?” Good question.

You often get asked the same questions.

“Do you think in English or French?”

“Do you dream in English or French?”

“Do you prefer England or France?”

I don’t mind it though, they find it interesting.

— —

· What happed?

This is a difficult question. I’m not too sure as I am still discovering things everyday.

I am not writing this, cured from my mental illness. I am writing this, still going through tough times, trying to get better everyday.

I am writing this as a sort of therapy, to help myself and maybe others.

To understand myself better, for family and friends to understand me better and maybe for people to relate to.

Writing has never been my strong point but whether you are good at it or not, I do find it helps. You get to express yourself freely, like dancing, or painting or creating music… any form of art really.

— —

So back to the question : what happened?

In 2018, I was diagnosed with a mental illness I had never heard of before in my life : Borderline Personality Disorder.

— —

· How did this all start?

After finishing a Sound Engineering course back in 2015 (Montpellier, FR), I went back home to my parents house to look for a job in the music industry.

It was very hard to find a job with no work experience at all. It was a catch 22 situation : I needed a job to gain experience but couldn’t get a job without any prior experience.

I would end up playing The Sims everyday in my one piece pajamas. Drinking Desperados in the evening while dreaming of moving to Sydney.

My parents quickly noticed I was not being very productive, and gave me a speech.

I would often check Facebook and see my best friend at the time, having the time of her life as an Au Pair in London.

I was jealous.

— —

In October 2015, I took a plane to London to become an Au Pair.

I was an Au Pair for about 2 years in London, and it was so much fun.

I made friends with other Au Pairs from all over the world that were so lovely. We would go out to bars, concerts, parks, museums, festivals and so much more.

— —

Then I met Julien.

This part is difficult to write about as it is still very painful and I have forgotten a lot.

My therapist told me it’s hard to remember what hurt you so much. I find that to be true in this situation, but I’ll try my best.

— —

I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life. And I was 22 years old.

My brother created an online profile for me on a website called OKCupid. He told me that it wasn’t just for dating, but you could also make friends.

I met Julien on OKCupid. His username was “JulienB26” (his last name started with a B and he was 26… I know, very creative…). Mine was “BurnTogether” (the name of a music album I was OBSESSED with at the time)

He was not my type at all, but sent me the sweetest, most personal message I had ever received, so I thought “why not?”

We met in a rock bar in Camden Town called The Worlds End, and it was fun. We got on straight away and it was my best first date ever.

Long story short we ended up dating.

After only about a month, I left my Au Pair family and moved in with him in Notting Hill. He met my family and I met his.

My parents adored him! He seemed so perfect. He was cultured, dressed nicely, polite, had a good job, a nice and tidy apartment…

He wasn’t that perfect though.

— —

He smoked a lot of weed, was addicted to online video games and extremely jealous.

I remember one time when I was typing to my friend at the time, he snatched my phone out of my hands to see what I was writing. It was quite aggressive and I did not like it at all.

— —

My Au Pair friend Pri invited me one day to spend time with her and our new Au Pair friend to go out to pubs near London Bridge.

I refused, as Julien didn’t want me to go. He didn’t like Pri.

We (Julien and I) went to the rock bar we first met at instead. It was not fun. We didn’t have much left in common.

I felt the relationship slowly dying and there was a lot about him I did not like anymore. But breaking up with him was not an option.

I got drunk. I often drank. I liked it so much and would drink too much, too often.

The following day I saw about 5 to 10 messages from my friend Pri.

There was a terrorist attack that very same night at London Bridge.

She managed to escape but unfortunately our Au Pair friend, did not.

— —

Pri asked me to spend the day with her, the day we found out that our friend had passed away and, of course, I went.

We drank wine together and cried.

She didn’t want to spend the night alone and asked me if I could stay with her.

I agreed and asked Julien if it was okay with him. But it was not.

It was a problem for him and he refused.

I left.

— —

Julien had been acting strange for a couple of days.

I didn’t really know what to do and didn’t want to be egocentric and assume it was because of me, but I did.

Maybe he was thinking about his father who passed away?

I didn’t know, and he wasn’t telling me anything.

— —

One day, as I came home from babysitting, and had enough. I needed to know what was wrong.

He put down his joint, told his online friends on Discord that he needed to leave and turned around from his computer to face me.

— —

This part is very hard to remember.

He told me I didn’t deserve his love as he couldn’t love me to the fullest.

He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to end things and needed some time to think.

Our age difference was a problem for him. He thought we were in two different phases of our life.

— —

I didn’t sleep that night.

I watched Netflix and cried until I saw the sun rise.

The next following days were difficult. It was the same pattern everyday.

I woke up sad, left for work angry, came back confused and went to sleep sad.

I didn’t deserve this.

No one deserves being with someone who isn’t sure they love them and needs time to think.

So I decided to leave.

I took a train to Paris and never came back.

— —

My brother who studied art in Paris, decided to spend a year of his education in Bergen, Norway. So he had an un-used flat in Paris for a year.

I asked my parents if I could stay in the flat while looking for a job in Paris.

They agreed.

— —

I felt fresh, like a new chapter of my life was starting. I didn’t know anyone (besides my brothers friends, Julie and Yolo).

I bought healthy, organic, vegan food and bought a membership to a gym that I would go to everyday for an hour.

Things were looking good. I felt positive.

— —

I quickly found a part-time job as a receptionist for a company involved in cryptocurrency.

It was so much fun.

I loved saying hello to all the staff that walked passed my desk in the morning.

My life was good, and it got even better.

— —

I went to the company’s seminar in a grand chateau outside of Paris.

One evening, we had special places to sit for dinner. It was a way of mixing all different employees from different services to connect.

I was sat at a table with one of the Vice Presidents of the company.

He was very kind and asked me what I do outside of work and what I would like to do in the future.

I had a couple of Desperados and told him that I originally wanted to join a company in the music industry and work my way up, but since working for the company, I had fallen in love with the it and would actually like to work my way up in this company.

This was not a sneaky plan or anything. I’m not that smart.

Fortunately though, the President of the company heard my tipsy conversation and called me over.

He asked me if what I said was true. I was astonished he knew my name!

— —

About two weeks after the seminar, the Vice President of Sales approached me asking if we could have a chat.

He had heard from the President that I wanted to join the company and offered me a position in the Sales department.

I had no experience whatsoever in sales, but accepted with great pleasure.

— —

My personal life on the other hand was not going so well.

I was drinking a lot and started cutting myself with broken glass as a punishment for drinking.

But I didn’t tell anyone or do anything about it as I felt in control of the situation.

I was on OKCupid again but comparing every profile to Julien.

In the spring of whatever year it was (2018 maybe?), I went back to London to see Julien as he had some of my belongings to give back to me.

We talked and walked in Hyde Park for about two hours. I wore his favorite dress.

I told him about my amazing new job and friends I had made. I was subtly bragging about my life. I wanted him to regret letting me go. And he did. He cried so much and felt very regretful. I felt happy even though I was suffering inside.

Towards the end of the walk he told me he was seeing someone new.

I did not expect that. I was shocked.

— —

I remember taking the underground back, and crying like I have never cried before while listening to Taylor Swift.

I felt that something inside of me had changed. Something bad.

— —

After returning back to Paris things got worse. I was drinking more and cutting deeper and more often.

Julien was still texting me at the time and I was not responding as I wanted to cut the cord with him.

He didn’t understand why and I remember telling him that I had never felt this bad in my life. I had never hated myself so much and needed space.

He told me that I needed to seek professional help.

I said goodbye and blocked him.

— —

On the day of Gay Pride 2018 in Paris.

I was drinking alone.

I didn’t eat anything that day and drank a bottle of white wine alone in my flat.

I remember grabbing a glass and smashing it on the floor, collecting the sharpest piece of glass I could find and cutting and cutting and cutting.

My friend Yolo came over and saw the pieces if glass all over the kitchen floor and saw me on the floor crying and bleeding.

She called an Uber and took me to a psychiatric hospital.

I was so desperate for help that I would have gone anywhere she took me.

We had to stop the Uber half way there so I could throw up and then continue on our route.

— —

Once there I remember talking to a professional, crying, about suicidal thoughts I had.

I remember doing a lot of research at the time and discovered a website.

It had all the information I was looking for on it.

I spent a night at the hospital Saint Anne to sober up.

The following day, they let me go.

— —

Even though things were bad, I still felt 100% in control of the situation.

I would self harm and drink almost daily.

I continued doing research about suicide and the sharpest object known to man.

One day I decided to order a pack of scalpels off of Amazon. They arrived quickly.

I was so eager to try them but had to go to work that day. So I just did a small cut on my arm and wow.

I didn’t press hard at all but bled. It was so satisfying at the time.

— —

On my friend Julie’s birthday I remember coming home from work, going to the closest shop to my flat and buying two 50cl cans of Desperados. I could tell the cashier was judging me, but I did not care much.

I put on a stand up comedy show on Netflix and proceeded to drink the beer.

Then I remembered the scalpels in my bedside draw.

I had promised myself not to self-harm anymore before the summer holidays as I would be around my family in t-shirts and shorts.

But I wanted to so badly. So I did.

I said to myself that it would be just one cut on my thigh. But it had to be satisfying enough.

So I cut my thigh.

— —

I forgot that it was a scalpel and in my mind it was just a piece of broken glass.

Big mistake.

I cut too deep.

I remember seeing the white fat through the cut in my thigh.

It didn’t hurt though.

Then the blood started to flow. There was so much.

I tried to close the cut with my hands, but blood got everywhere.

I panicked.

I didn’t want to disturbed Julie on her birthday so I phoned her boyfriend (who was also my work colleague).

He calmed me down and phoned the emergencies who arrived very quickly.

— —

I went to the hospital and had to have ten stitches in my thigh.

They also made me speak to a therapist there who told me I could go home.

So I went home.

— —

I was seeing a psychiatrist for a while (since the Gay Pride event)

That told me after the 10 stitches incident that I was depressed.

I still remember the feeling of her telling me I was depressed. I was shocked and didn’t want to believe her.

I had everything under control!

She suggested I take antidepressants and I accepted. Paroxetine 10mg

— —

I worked for the company for about a year.

It was amazing.

I traveled to Berlin and London. I also attended a “Blockchain Cruise” from Barcelona to Monaco to Ibiza.

I could bring whomever I wanted from the company.

I chose Jacques.

He seemed nice.

— —

On the cruise, there was a party going on and of course, we both attended it. I was a little bit tipsy and kissed a guy on the dance floor.

I remember seeing Jacques really angry and went over to talk to him.

We were talking near the main bar on the boat.

He seemed very drunk.

He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away.

He tried again and I had to push harder.

Someone felt the need to intervene and asked me if I needed help.

I told them that everything was okay and walked Jacques back to the room.

— —

After the trip I wanted to forget that side I saw of Jacques.

So I did.

I wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be mine.

— —

One evening we were having drinks with work colleagues in a whiskey bar.

I asked Jacques, as a friend, if he wanted to spend the night at my flat.

I felt very lonely and was a bit tipsy.

I didn’t want anything to happen between us, but I understand now how he thought differently.

— —

As we were going to bed, he tried again, like on the cruise to kiss me.

I pushed him away but he was stronger.

He then proceeded to take my pajama trousers off.

I pulled them back up. He pulled them back down.

I remember his fingers inside of me. I tried pushing him off of me but he grabbed my wrists.

He then, finally, saw that I was not happy.

So thankfully, he stopped.

I pulled my trousers back up and stayed in a foetus position until I fell asleep.

— —

The next morning we walked to work together.

I didn’t feel right. Something about that night felt wrong.

I phoned Julie and told her what had happened. She was in Greece at the time.

I sent an email to my boss telling him that I didn’t feel well and asking him if I could have the day off.

He accepted and I left with my friend Yolo who met me at work.

— —

We had a lovely day. We went to the cinema, went and got massages, and later on that evening, we were at a café and my friend Julie appeared out of nowhere!

She had taken an early plane back from Greece to come and see me.

I was so happy to see her!

— —

The next week, at the end of the day at work, round 7pm, my boss asked if he could talk to me.

He told me that the President of the company had heard that I slept with a married colleague.

This has never happened and I has shocked and embarrassed.

I told him this information was not true and he believed me.

He told me to tell him if anything ever happens between me and a colleague.

I felt the need to tell him that Jacques took advantage to me. And I did.

My voice was shacking. He was angry.

After our chat, I left and went home.

— —

I don’t remember this part very well but I remember going to see my therapist very drunk with a bottle in my hand to my appointment.

She called the emergencies and they took me to a psychiatric hospital, La Maison Blanche.

— —

It was very strange at first seeing all different kinds of patients, with all different mental illnesses.

(the person is drinking water from a puddle, not praying)

— —

I stayed for about 15 days there and made some friends.

It wasn’t as bad as it first seemed.

— —

My siblings were aware of what was going on with me. But once again, I still felt under control of what was happening.

They didn’t think so, and they were right to think that.

One day I ran away of the hospital and drank cans of beer in the side walk.

That is when my siblings decided to tell my parents what was going on.

After going back inside the hospital, one of the nurses told me that my mother was on her way to see me, she took a 4h train to come.

She had no idea what was going on before. It must have been a terrible shock for her.

I felt so scared and embarrassed for her to see me in this blue outfit they had given me but they refused to give me back my clothes.

— —

It was extremely difficult to balance my work and personal mental health.

I was coming to terms with my depression and accepting that I was, in fact, never in control of anything that was happening to me.

— —

After leaving the hospital, I went back to work.

It was very awkward at first.

The President of the company asked to speak with me about my long absence.

I didn’t want to go into details, so I just mentioned that I was at the hospital without saying why, or what kind of hospital…

Later that same day, someone from human resources also asked to speak to me.

She was asking is everything was okay and I told her what my therapist had told me to say, that I had a really sore throat.

Now looking back at it, I know that she knew exactly where I was. In a psychiatric hospital.

The papers the hospital were giving to my company to cover my absence, had the address on them.

So she knew…

— —

One day, my boss got fired out of the blue. He was such an amazing person and work colleague. He didn’t deserve this.

Later that month, my other Sales colleague, also got fired.

Cryptocurrency was not doing as well as it was before, and the company was slowly dying.

I was next to get fired.

It was the day before my birthday.

I remember my new, less cool boss, asked me to have a word with him and a person from HR.

I honestly thought at the time that I was getting a raise. Lol.

The conversation was very awkward, it lasted about 15 minutes. I don’t remember much of what was said.

They told me to leave straight away and not mention to anyone that I got fired.

I told my friend/colleague on Slack before leaving the building.

He was worried he was next to get fired.

So I sent him a brief message saying “turns out you were right about the Sales team getting fired. I have to leave now. Please don’t tell anyone.”

I left and went home.

— —

As I got home I lay on the sofa staring into oblivion.

I wanted to cry. I said to myself that this is a situation most people would cry.

But it was so hard to shed a tear.

I felt numb.

— —

I phoned my mother and told her what had happened. She was worried I would do something bad.

I invited my friend, Alienor, that I made from the hospital over, and we drank beer and took cocaine.

My father phoned me.

He could hear by my voice that I had drank.

My parents contacted Yolo to come pick me up and take me back to the hospital by Uber.

I felt obliged to go with her, so I went and Alienor left.

I only stayed one night or maybe two. I don’t really remember.

— —

I continued living in Paris for a couple of months, without a job.

I would drink everyday. Cans of Heineken beer.

I would wake up and drink straight away, while watching BoJack Horseman.

Then I would fall asleep around 6pm.

Everyday was the same pattern. Beer and BoJack.

— —

I had stopped self harming, as I had promised myself since the 10 stitches to never start again. But suicide was still a big subject in my mind.

The website I had discovered, has the most common methods of suicide in order of success rate. And hanging myself seemed like an okay technique.

I wanted to test it out without actually killing myself.

I know it sounds weird.

I wanted to try and see if it was doable without actually doing it all the way.

——

I took the cotton belt off from my work trousers. I thought to myself that I wouldn’t need it anymore, as I don’t have a job anymore.

I tied a knot around my clothes hanger in my wardrobe, and tied the other side around my neck.

Then, I very gently bent my legs (as I could touch the floor).

The next thing I remember is waking up with the belt around my neck, in my wardrobe.

Saliva was all over my mouth. Snot was dripping from my nose.

It scared me.

I couldn’t undo the tight knot around my neck so cut it off with a pair of kitchen scissors.

I threw the belt in the bin and laid in my bed in a state of shock.

I phoned a friend at the time, and told him what just happened to me.

He came over and we talked about it.

— —

I liked him, he promised not to tell anyone and let me drink.

Yolo and Julie where more worried and protective. They would judge how much I would drink, and I didn’t really like that.

— —

One day, a colleague/friend of mine was organizing a small party at his house with about 8 people.

Julie, her boyfriend, Yolo and I all went along with other ex-work colleagues.

I got drunk quickly. And when I drank, I would talk too much.

I told a friend/ex-work colleague that I tried to hang myself the other day just to try it out but ended up fainting.

— —

Later that evening, I went home to my flat and fell asleep.

Around 3 in the morning, my door bell rang.

I didn’t know who it was, but opened the door all tired.

It was Julie, Yolo and another friend.

They were really worried about me.

What I had said at that party has gotten out, and everyone knew about it.

They told me I needed to go back to the hospital.

So I did the very next morning.

— —

I went back to The Maison Blanche, and stayed there for 12 nights.

One of the male nurses saw me and asked why I was back, again.

I told him what had happened and he was very nice. He gave me advice and listened to me.

He mentioned that we should go out for drinks once I get out of the hospital. I agreed and gave him my number.

— —

We texted that night, while I was in my hospital bed.

Our text messages were very flirtatious.

The next following days we had sexual relations in my hospital room, and in the storage room.

— —

Once I left La Maison Blanche, I invited Alienor over to drink and take cocaine.

And I told her about my romantic affair I had at the hospital.

She didn’t seem surprised. She told me that another female patient had sexual relations with a nurse there too, and she wondered if it was the same nurse. So did I.

We sent a message to the girl in question and asked her to describe the male nurse she had relations with.

It was him. Paul. And she was 17.

— —

This suddenly felt wrong and I had to tell someone. So I told my mother about Paul and also Jacques.

She was really angry. More so about Paul the nurse than Jacques. But I felt the opposite.

I didn’t feel taken advantage of by Paul. But Jaques really hurt me.

My mother wanted me to report both of them to the police, so I did.

— —

My parents didn’t trust me living alone in such a big city so far away. I needed help.

In May 2019 I want to Rehab for alcohol and cocaine addiction.

I spent one month there. It was much nicer than the hospital. They had a ping-ping table, a chess set and many more activities.

I spent a month in Rehab and it was really nice to be away from alcohol.

Alcohol affected me in bad ways.

I would say so many things I regret. I would hurt myself and make bad decisions.

I drank so much that when I didn’t, I would uncontrollably shake and feel faintish.

Rehab made me want to stop forever.

— —

My mother would visit me often and it was lovely to see her. She was very supportive.

After leaving Rehab, it was time for me to leave Paris forever and move back in with my parents down South of France.

I needed to not be alone. I needed help.

— —

I moved back into my old bedroom with my vinyls and The White Stripes posters. It was comforting.

I was now taking more medication : Paroxetine (20mg) and Abilify (5mg).

And it was making me feel better.

My mother wanted me to see one of the best therapists in France.

So I started seeing a new psychiatrist in Bordeaux, FR (1h away by train) every two weeks.

At first we did not get along.

I wanted him to help me forget about my ex, but he explained that it was not possible to forget the past, you must accept it as part of you, like a scar.

He wanted me start writing about my feelings in a journal. I was not good at it and did not enjoy it. But I did it anyway.

— —

A few months later, I was starting to feel much better and stronger.

My therapist was really helping me, and so was my family.

I decided it was time to find a job near my parents house.

In October 2019, I found a job as an Exhibition Assistant for a company in events.

I was saving up to move to Sydney, Australia. To start a new life far away. To a place I’ve always wanted to go to.

I’ve never been to Australia but didn’t care.

— —

Working for this company was not fun, and a lot of pressure. They wanted to me make a minimum of 200 phone calls a day. And I hated being on the phone.

I told my therapist about my job being very pressurizing and he told me to quite and move to Sydney sooner.

That sounded like a great plan! I was so happy about this decision.

I went home and bought myself a Working Holiday Visa.

— —

My psychiatrist decided it was time to stop my medication as I was doing really well.

So I stopped them gradually.

The withdraw effects were a nightmare.

I was sweating, felt nauseous, had diarrhea, felt extremely emotional…

But that only lasted for about 2 weeks.

I was so happy that I wasn’t taking any medication anymore!

I felt on top of the world.

— —

For New Years Eve, I decided to go see my old friends from when I was doing my Sound Engineering course.

I told them about what had happened to me, and I could see it made them sad. They told me that I was such a happy person before. That I didn’t deserve this.

I told them I was fine now and that it was in the past.

I didn’t drink on NYE and they respected that. But I felt odd. I felt numb for some reason. They loved me so much and expressed it. But I didn’t seem to feel the same way. I used to. But not anymore. I didn’t feel love for anyone and that worried me. I felt like a ghost.

— —

My mother picked me up and could tell that I was different.

I went to work the following day and did not feel well at all.

I could feel it all coming back. I was so scared and ashamed of relapsing. But I knew I was.

I told my boss that I wasn’t feeling well and she let me go home.

I got back home and told my parents : I think I’m depressed again…

— —

I saw my therapist again and every session he would read what I wrote.

This was the last time I wrote in my diary.

He closed my black book and called my mother in.

He told me I needed to go back to a psychiatric hospital.

— —

My parents drove me back home from Bordeaux after that session and we packed a suitcase and went to the nearest psychiatric hospital. La Candelie in Agen.

I remember hearing my therapist on the phone to the hospital telling them I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I had no idea what that was.

— —

I arrived at La Candelie and spent 7 weeks there.

I was not in a good state of mind.

I tried hanging myself multiple times there in the shower but couldn’t let go of all of my weight by bending my legs. I just couldn’t.

I cut myself often and managed to bring in Vodka.

It was a mess.

— —

They put me in the isolation room for one night.

The isolation room was horrific.

They gave me paper pajamas that would rip with the slightest movement.

The door was locked and I had a bucket to pee in.

I was not allowed a pillow or a blanket. It was so cold and my pajamas were ripped everywhere.

The next morning, I saw a psychiatrist from the hospital and told him that I was fine and just being dramatic. I did not want to go back there.

— —

After 7 long weeks I was finally allowed out.

It was a long time.

I was now on even more medication : Paroxetine, Abilify, Tercian, Alprazolam and Mirtazapine.

I felt so numb. Better, but numb.

Australia was not an option anymore. Not for a while anyway.

— —

Once I left the hospital, I was obliged to have a nurse come to my parents house every morning and evening to make sure that I take all my medication properly.

I also had to go a psychological-medical center once a week.

I got tired of explaining what happened when, where and why. It was hard to remember. So I decided to write all the bullet points down on a piece of paper.

— —

· Where am I now?

Today is the 13th of May 2021. I still suffer from my mental illness even though I wish it was all in the past.

I’m currently taking Mirtazapine, Abilify and Alprazolam and only see a nurse once a week to restock on medication.

My therapist appointments have been elongated to once a month.

I haven’t self harmed in about a year.

I do however still have episodes with suicidal thoughts, but they are less severe.

My therapist from Paris once told me that you will have ups and downs, but with time the ups will be less up and the downs less down.

It’s starting to make sense now.

I currently live in a small city called Agen (30m drive from my parents house) with my boyfriend Yann. He’s the best.

We met through an old friend of mine that I reconnected with last year.

I still don’t have many friends where I live, as they are all over the place (Montpellier, London and Paris)

— —

My mother took an online course about Borderline Personality Disorder, which I really appreciate. I feel like maybe she understands a part of me more.

— —

Julie left Paris and moved to Montpellier to become a Yoga instructor. She and her boyfriend are still together, building their new life in the South of France.

— —

Yolo is still in Paris, she recently got a job as a video editor for a cool company. She’s doing great.

— —

Pri is still in London, not as an Au Pair anymore but as a chef by day, and an Art Salon organizer by night. She’s always been very productive and I admire that.

— —

Alienor unfortunately is back in the hospital in Paris, La Maison Blanche, as she tried to commit suicide by jumping off of a bridge above train rails. She lost both of her legs and one arm, but thankfully survived.

— —

The criminal cases concerning Jacques and Paul the nurse, are still going on. It’s been a very long process but I hope it ends soon.

— —

I don’t have any news at all regarding Julien and do not plan on having any.

— —

· Why am I writing this?

Like I wrote at the beginning of this, longer than expected text, about my mental health, I am writing this for me, my family and friends and hopefully others who may relate to it and seek help if they need it.

I often mentioned that I felt under control of the situation, but I was wrong. So maybe someone reading this might make the decision to seek help.

I have no words to describe how thankful I am to the people who helped me.

This is not a suicide note, it’s the opposite. It’s a “life” note.

A note to remind me that some days can be nice and happy, but others can be very, very hard. But you must go on. You must keep on fighting. It might seem like an endless battle but it gets better.

Sometimes that’s hard to see. But I see it now.

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Andrew fails lie detector -- new crisis rocks the palace 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Bruno Toniolo shirtless, Heidi Pratt at a pumpkin patch in L.A., Jacqueline Bisset catches some rays in L.A. 

Page 3: Larry David leaves an L.A. office, Ellen Pompeo, Pete Wentz 

Page 4: Kathie Lee Gifford is talking to NBC bigwigs about coming back to Today and they’re hot over the idea but Hoda Kotb is not pleased and Jenna Bush Hager is feeling threatened because Jenna never really grabbed the audience like Kathie Lee did, Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow are heading into the holidays trash-talking each other even more than usual and their pals have nowhere to hide -- they’re snippier than ever and can’t get through the week without saying something crass but the trouble is they have the same friends and they use some of the same chefs and caterers and crew -- all their friends in the Hamptons including the Seinfelds and Beyonce and Jay-Z and Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley and Rachael Ray are trying to keep out of it but it’s impossible because Martha and Gwyneth are both screaming for loyalty 

Page 5: Legal hotshot and writer Jeffrey Toobin has been shelved by the New Yorker magazine for showing off his willie to co-workers during a Zoom conference call -- witnesses say Toobin was masturbating but he insists it was a blooper

Page 6: Dolly Parton was so lovestruck when she met Elvis Presley that she nearly chucked her marriage and career to shack up with Elvis -- Dolly is ready to tell all about Elvis after decades of protecting her husband Carl Dean and Elvis’ only child Lisa Marie Presley -- Dolly was in her late 20s and Elvis was in his late 30s when they had their sizzling encounter where she got dolled up to meet Elvis in a Nashville office and discuss working together and he wanted to do a duet but she didn’t trust herself to work with him and she didn’t even let Elvis do a cover of her song I Will Always Love You -- even though Dolly didn’t actually cheat on Carl she sure was tempted and she’s felt guilty about it ever since 

Page 8: Just two weeks after splitting with his wife of 14 years former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan was arrested and jailed on charges of trying to strangle a terrified galpal -- after a night of partying where he was photographed surrounded by four gals with an iced bottle of vodka at the table Zachery reportedly got into a heated clash with his galpal and she claims Zachery grabbed her by the throat and squeezed then tried to snatch her phone when she attempted to call 911 so she ran to a neighbor’s home where she hid while cops were called 

Page 9: Distressed Kelly Clarkson and her two toddlers are in therapy to help cope with the anguish brought on by her divorce from Brandon Blackstock -- the talk show host is especially struggling because the split is playing out so publicly and the kids are seeing things about their mom on TV and she feels immense guilt about the divorce but knows it was the best decision because she wasn’t happy married to Brandon though she did try but staying in a marriage just for the kids wasn’t an option for her -- Kelly was deeply wounded when her father-in-law Narvel Blackstock’s management company recently sued her for $1.4 million in alleged unpaid commissions but she’s speaking with her ex privately in an effort to resolve the issue out of court but Kelly suspects he’s using it as a bargaining chip for a bigger settlement and also feels he’s using the kids against her as a weapon 

Page 10: Showbiz legend Michelle Phillips has become a shut-in who sits home alone tippling wine while watching movies on TV and listening to her hits from The Mamas & the Papas where she is the last surviving member of the band -- she’s sad the rest are all gone  and she’ll put on a record and sit in the dark; she misses them and so many other people -- she’s become a shut-in due to the pandemic and can’t bear for people to see her so old and haggard and overweight and all those years of partying have done their damage to her once-beautiful face -- she also hasn’t been able to see her young grandson and she’s grieving the loss of her longtime lover who died in 2017 

Page 11: Baywatch hunk Jeremy Jackson’s cover girl ex-wife has been found homeless wandering California’s mean streets in worn and shabby clothes -- lost for two years Loni Willison is now virtually unrecognizable with missing teeth and her long blond tresses cropped short -- she was found pushing a grocery cart filled with her battered possessions in Venice -- despite her tragic situation she insists she’d doing fine and doesn’t want help despite reportedly having drug and mental health issues 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Rita Ora in a see-through frock (picture), Lily James got caught brazenly canoodling with the very much married Dominic West who plays her father in the BBC miniseries The Pursuit of Love, just weeks after Cardi B filed to dissolve her marriage to Offset she’s put the split on hold and all it took was Offset to spend bucks on a heart-tugging Sunset Strip billboard and a Rolls-Royce and a Hermes Birkin bag, Kate Hudson’s getting loose-lipped about gross snotty smooches with her leading man Matthew McConaughey 

Page 13: Vinny Guadagnino eating in Beverly Hills (picture), Kaitlyn Bristowe has a puffy trout pout (picture), Shia LaBeouf doesn’t let an apparent injury keep him from getting out and about in Pasadena (picture), Alanis Morissette says the fame that came with her 1995 revenge song You Oughta Know wasn’t so sweet but instead was an isolating experience 

Page 14: Nicole Kidman is starring opposite Hugh Grant in the thriller series The Undoing but she really wanted to plays Hugh’s love interest in Notting Hill except she wasn’t well-known enough, Reba McEntire has landed herself a brand new TV show which is a modernized Fried Green Tomatoes drama series in which she’ll play the present-day Idgie Threadgoode, Fashion Verdict -- Regina King 8/10, Isabelle Huppert 2/10, Queen Maxima 5/10, Tracee Ellis Ross 9/10, Cher 4/10 

Page 16: How John F. Kennedy stole the White House from Richard Nixon -- Chicago mob rigged the 1960 vote and cheated Nixon out of the presidency 

Page 19: True Crime 

Page 21: Parkinson’s patient Alan Alda is refusing to slow down at age 84 and friends fear the fragile M*A*S*H legend is headed for a devastating health crisis and he’s busier now than he ever was even during his sitcom days and he bravely says he lives with it by staying active but medication can only do so much and his friends and family including wife Arlene are worried he’s pushing himself too hard, teary-eyed Ringo Starr confesses his last conversation with dying Beatles bandmate George Harrison was heartbreaking and unforgettable -- Ringo wanted to stay with George until the end but his daughter Lee had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and Ringo had to rush to Boston to see her and when Ringo told George he had to go to Boston George said D’ya want me to come wit’ ya? so even on his death bed George made his best buddy smile while both faced unspeakable grief 

Page 22: 10 Things You Don’t Know About S. Epatha Merkerson, Today show host Hoda Kotb reveals Frank Sinatra Jr. was the show’s worst guest because he clammed up instead of touting a book about his famous dad in 2015, Khloe Kardashian confesses she once worked as Nicole Richie’s personal assistant because she just needed a job and they went to school together -- Nicole’s reality career crashed in 2007 which was the same year Khloe’s series started

Page 24: Cover Story -- Disgraced Prince Andrew has flunked a lie detector test on his close relationship with murdered American pedophile Jeffrey Epstein and now the rogue royal insists he’ll never cooperate with the FBI for fear his testimony will land him behind bars but Queen Elizabeth’s favorite son has his back against the wall as new evidence surfaces on both sides of the Atlantic -- Andrew is terrified newly released secret testimony from Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is just the tip of the iceberg of what she’s prepared to reveal and Maxwell’s revelations detailing her twisted sex life come on the heels of an explosive new British book accusing Andrew of attending debauched events with Epstein where teenage girls were parading around topless -- even though friends close to Andrew say he did nothing wrong and has no reason to fear the prince may not have a choice about spilling his guts because the fed-up royal family is threatening to cut off the cash-strapped rogue unless he plays ball 

Page 25: Prince Andrew has been banished from the gift shop at his mother’s Balmoral Castle -- tourists can still purchase postcards her Her Majesty’s kids Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Edward but Prince Andrew has disappeared which is a sure sign that Andrew is in the doghouse since items featuring Elizabeth’s beloved corgis are still up for sale 

Page 26: Health Report 

Page 27: Dirtiest places on planes exposed 

Page 30: Serial sleaze Matt Lauer’s ready to pop the question to girlfriend Shamin Abas over the holidays and he hopes for a brighter future with her a year after his 20-year marriage to Annette Roque ended in divorce -- Matt showers Shamin her with gifts and wants to buy a house on the East Coast where they can make new memories and Matt’s hinted he’s already bought the ring and plans to propose by New Year’s and he hopes to have a celeb-studded wedding at their new home, Kathleen Turner will be back at Michael Douglas’ throat as his acid ex in The Kominsky Method to fill the hole left by Alan Arkin who abruptly pulled out of the third and final season of the show

Page 35: Matthew McConaughey’s father predicted he’d die while making love to his wife and he did, desperate to turn back time Marie Osmond is going whole hog on a head-to-toe makeover -- Marie is no stranger to cosmetic fixes and she is considering a slew of procedures to get a new look that’ll knock ‘em out including everything from Botox and fillers to face-lift to boob job and lipo-sculpting to enhance her waistline -- the makeover is motivated by revenge because she’s bitter over recently being pushed off her co-host gig on The Talk and now she’s counting on a younger look to land her a plum new TV gig 

Page 38: Real Life Monsters 

Page 39: Kris Jenner blames social media for ending the 14-year run of Keeping Up with the Kardashians because when the show started there was no Instagram or Snapchat or other social media platforms but now she gripes that now there are so many the viewer doesn’t have to wait three or four months to see an episode but instead information spreads online in real time, Phil Collins’ ex-wife has traded him in for a 31-year-old guitarist who never managed to make much noise in the music industry -- Phil was furious when he heard Orianne Cevey married Tom Bates in Las Vegas, Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman died without a will according to his widow -- Taylor Simone Ledward filed a probate case in L.A. asking a judge to name her administrator of Boseman’s estimated $938,500 estate with limited authority

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter Rumer Willis claims posing for raunchy bondage shots proves she’s a liberated woman free from sexual stereotypes but it’s not that simple 

Page 45: Jeff Bridges is battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma which is a rampaging cancer that often spreads through the body to the liver and bone marrow and lungs -- while the cancer can be deadly experts say the five-year survival rate is 73 percent 

[nottinghillcounselling]

When should you see a relationship Counselor?

The term "relationships are complicated" has become a cliché. However, it is also correct. Even when people get along swimmingly, tension and everyday life can lead to disagreements that seem difficult to overcome. Relationship therapy can assist people in these difficult circumstances in working through their issues, moving beyond them, and ultimately becoming better spouses.

If you are also looking for relationship counselling, then this article is for you. Read this article to find out the best relationship counsellor.

Here are some facts about the relationship:

 1. A premarital relationship education program is taken by 31% of couples.

2. Just 19% of couples seek out some kind of 55couples counselling, and only 37% of divorced couples consulted with a therapist before signing the documents.

3. When it comes to marital issues, the average couple waits six years before seeking professional assistance.

When is the time to seek relationship therapy?

Many people agree that relationship therapy can only be sought when a breakup or divorce is imminent. However, this is frequently too little, too late. Relationship counselling should begin as soon as the issues become too much to bear. Here are some indications that a consultation could be advantageous to you:

You are having difficulty expressing your feelings to one another. You have one or more unresolved disagreements.

Your interactions are marked by withdrawal, criticism, or contempt.

A tumultuous event has upended your routine.

You have difficulty making decisions as a couple you have experienced infidelity, addiction, or potential abuse

You want to improve your relationship.

 It's important to remember that there are no wrong reasons to seek relationship counselling. Some couples begin therapy as soon as they marry, even if there are no apparent problems, in order to prevent severe problems from developing. Counsellors can assist you in becoming a better communicator, developing strong relationship skills, and so on.

Other scenarios where you need relationship counselling

1.       When you aren't talking anymore: Honestly, this is the most common challenge that every relationship faces. Having a communication problem in any relationship leads to an emotional breakdown of the relationship. You can easily ask a relationship counsellor for help in order to get back into normal life.

2.        When you're talking, but it is always pessimistic: Anything that leaves one partner feeling judged, shamed, ignored, insecure, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation is considered negative communication. Negative communication includes conversation tone because it is not always what you say but how you say it. Negative communication can lead to emotional abuse and nonverbal communication.

3.       When you consider your partner as an adversary: You and your partner are not enemies; you are teammates. If you start to feel like you're on opposing sides, it's time to seek help.

4.       When you both start keeping secrets: Each person in a relationship has the right to privacy, but keeping secrets from each other is unethical.

5.       When you have started living separately: When a couple starts acting more like roommates than a married couple, it may be time to seek counselling. This is not to say that a couple is in trouble simply because they do not do everything together. Instead, if there is a breakdown of engagement, discussion, romantic love, or if they merely "co-exist," it may be time to bring in a skilled clinician who can help sort out what is missing.

If you are also experiencing any of these issues in your life, now is the time to see a relationship counsellor.

Are you looking for the best counsellor?

You should contact Notting Hill and Counselling and Psychotherapy. This is one of the finest places to get expert help for relationship counselling. To know more about Notting Hill and Counselling and Psychotherapy, please visit https://www.nottinghill-counselling.co.uk/services/therapist-notting-hill.html.

Thank you for reaching out to my blog!

Have a nice day!!!

[thailondon5]

Which is the best body to body massage spa in UK?

Deep Tissue Massage Notting hill

Deep Tissue Massage involves a firm knead on tense muscles using the palms of the hands and fingertips to release pressure and strains damaged in highly physical activities. Similar to a deep tissue massage in notting hill, this stroke technique isn’t as relaxing but is more for the purpose of relieving stress and improving the muscle repair by increasing the blood flow around the damaged tissue.

What to Expect from Couples Massage in Notting Hill

Booking a Thai Massage in Notting Hill ensures a memorable experience for both you and your partner. You’ll be in the same room, receiving massages simultaneously from two skilled therapists. The synchronized movements and soothing touch create a sense of unity and relaxation that is truly special.

Whether you’re strolling through Portobello Road Market, exploring local galleries, or simply seeking a moment of shared serenity, remember that Couples Massage in Notting Hill is just a reservation away. Discover the ultimate relaxation and connection in Notting Hill as you and your partner share a journey of revitalization and togetherness. With a warm invitation from Thai Angels, your trusted partner in the world of massage, this unique experience in Notting Hill awaits you.

At its core, Swedish massage in Kensington involves a combination of long gliding strokes, kneading, friction, tapping, and gentle stretching. It is designed to enhance circulation, reduce muscle tension, promote relaxation, and induce a sense of overall well-being.

 Thai Angels: Delivering Excellence in Massage

Thai Angels, located in the prestigious Kensington neighborhood, has garnered a reputation for delivering exceptional massage experiences. The skilled therapists at Thai Angels are not only experts in traditional Thai massage but also excel in the art of Swedish massage. Their deep understanding and mastery of the techniques ensure that every client receives a customized and invigorating Swedish massage experience.

Deep Tissue Massage in Hampstead

Deep tissue massage is the key to relieving tension, lowering stress, and revitalising your body, all of which are difficult to achieve in today's hectic urban lifestyle. This restorative treatment is a haven of relaxation that has the potential to whisk you away to a place of utter serenity. In this article, we will discuss the enchantments of deep tissue massage in Hammersmith, as well as its incredible benefits and the locations in this bustling district where you can experience the magic for yourself.

Deep tissue massage is a commonly utilized method of massage therapy that is effective in addressing persistent discomfort and soreness. By exerting focused pressure on the underlying muscles and fascia, which is the tissue enveloping your muscles, this method specifically addresses areas of tension or tightness. 

While many individuals perceive a regular massage as a soothing body treatment accompanied by tranquil music and an appealing scent, it’s worth noting that a deep tissue session, as described by Amy Montia, PhD, LMT, a medical-massage practitioner at Physio Logic, may incorporate these components, but it does not always induce a sense of relaxation.

Whether you’re seeking relief from tight muscles in cities or elsewhere, deep tissue massage in Hampstead massage can be a valuable therapeutic approach for alleviating discomfort and promoting overall well-being.

The Advantages Of Deep Tissue Massage In Hamstead

According to Amy Montia, PhD, LMT, the body benefits from deep tissue massage as it helps to release tissues that are restricted or injured. According to her, deep tissue massage can accelerate the recovery process and offer relief from pain by applying the right amount of pressure. 

Based on research findings, deep tissue massage has been found to offer various advantages, such as: 

Enhanced flexibility

Reduce blood pressure and heart rate

Decreased perception of pain

Alleviation of the inflammation linked to plantar fasciitis.

Alleviation of persistent and lower back discomfort

Decreased discomfort related to Ankylosing Spondylitis  

For residents and visitors in Hampstead seeking a holistic approach to relaxation and well-being, Thai Angels is a beacon of rejuvenation. Their skilled therapists and authentic Thai massage techniques offer a myriad of benefits for the body and mind. Whether you seek relief from muscle tension, stress reduction, or improved overall wellness, Thai Angels in Hampstead is your destination for an exceptional Thai massage in Hampstead experience. Discover the therapeutic world of Thai massage and elevate your well-being amidst the tranquility of Hampstead with Thai Angels.

Thai massage in Kensington

London's prestigious neighborhood, lies a gateway to relaxation and wellness - Thai massage. Rooted in ancient traditions, Thai massage has transcended time and gained global recognition for its multitude of health benefits. This article unveils the world of Thai massage in Kensington, focusing on its remarkable advantages and the potential to restore harmony to both body and mind.

Deep Tissue Massage Kilburn

Looking for Deep Tissue Massage in kilburn ? Deep Tissue Massage involves a firm knead on tense muscles using the palms of the hands and fingertips to release pressure and strains damaged in highly physical activities. Similar to a Swedish Massage, this stroke technique isn’t as relaxing but is more for the purpose of relieving stress and improving the muscle repair by increasing the blood flow around the damaged tissue.   

Thai Angels Massage & Spa is one of the most popular destinations in London for a traditional thai massage in london, all of our staff are Thailand trained and have years of experience in Massage. Located in a quiet Mews in Maida Hill, you will be greeted by a beautiful garden before you enter the traditional Thai Spa, surrounded by artefacts and imagery of some of the most stunning places around Thailand. There are three rooms available two single and one couples room, all traditionally decorated in this tranquil place.

Massage in Mayfair

Located amidst the grandeur and sophistication of London's Mayfair district lies an oasis of tranquility – the realm of Massage in Mayfair. Here, the essence of relaxation takes on a unique form, intertwining the luxury of Mayfair with the ancient art of massage. This experience transcends the ordinary; it's a bespoke journey into indulgence and rejuvenation, promising a retreat from the hustle and bustle of modern life. So, if you find yourself amidst the allure of Mayfair, consider gifting yourself the transformative experience of Thai Massage in Mayfair. Let the skilled hands of therapists guide you into a realm of tranquility, where the worries of the day fade away, and relaxation becomes an art.

Deep Tissue Massage Marylebone

Looking for Deep Tissue Massage Marylebone?Deep Tissue Massage involves a firm knead on tense muscles using the palms of the hands and fingertips to release pressure and strains damaged in highly physical activities. Similar to a Swedish Massage in Maryleborne, this stroke technique isn’t as relaxing but is more for the purpose of relieving stress and improving the muscle repair by increasing the blood flow around the damaged tissue. 

If you have been working from home throughout the COVID19 pandemic and have been experiencing shoulder and neck pain, this is the perfect technique to really loosen up built up tension from sitting at your desk all day. If you have sat in a hunched position, paired with the reduction in body movement previously experienced working in a busy office environment- this can contribute to this tension. This technique will stretch the muscles and improve the soreness of the cramped tissue to prevent reoccurring pain

[altosense33]

Professional Teeth Whitening In Notting Hill.

Content

Home Teeth Whitening Kit

Exactly How Do I Discover Obtaining My Teeth Bleached?

Cosmetic Dental Care" Teeth Whitening.

What Tooth Whitening Alternatives Are Offered At Brite Dental Facilities?

If you have actually picked Home whitening, you will wear your custom-made trays in your home either over night or over a few hrs a day. You might see results after simply one night; though anticipate to see cause regarding a week. I initially spoke to the Technique having lived with surging toothache for several months. teeth whitening sussex fitted me in straight way and my abscess was arranged within days. All this treatment was pain free and in a kicked back ambience because of caring and mild nature of my dental expert.

A collection of specifically made whitening trays to fit YOUR specific mouth. Our dental professionals help you to reverse years of discoloration with either surgery-based whitening or dentist-supervised residence whitening. Unfortunately, just natural tooth enamel will certainly respond to our whitening systems. Nevertheless, if you are unhappy with your present crowns or dental fillings, our professional can talk with you concerning your different choice.

We give you with the distinct Enlighten desensitisers and also Tooth Lotion to make the whole process as comfortable as possible. If you are taking into consideration having your teeth bleached yet are stressed over just how much it will certainly set you back, Revitalise Dental Centre is on hand to aid. We offer a range of budget friendly individual finance schemes, aiding you spend for your dream smile in workable regular monthly instalments. The most effective treatment to lighten your teeth depends completely on the type of spots or discolouration you are trying to remedy. If you do struggle with gum illness or dental cavity, these have to be dealt with first prior to starting any whitening procedure. At your very first session, a mould will be taken of your teeth and sent out to the laboratory where a tray will certainly be produced that is created to fit perfectly within your mouth. By creating custom trays for your teeth, you can feel great that they will not slip or irritate your gums and also will fit to use as well as easy to make use of.

Residence Teeth Whitening Set

Cigarette smoking, consuming colourful foods or drinking coffee or red wine will certainly additionally contribute to the yellowing of teeth over time. Tooth whitening is a process through which the stainings on as well as within the tooth structure are lightened. The process functions as the energetic ingredient breaks down, oxygen goes into the enamel and also dentine and also the spots are liquified as well as discolouration lowered.

How Do I Find Out About Getting My Teeth Whitened?

BlancOne ® DUETTO is a professional solution based upon 2 different gels, ACTIVE and TREATMENT, to be used alternately rather than normal tooth paste. Do you wish to care for the white of your smile at home and also always have results on top? At Aldgate Residence Dental Care, a gel is used in personalized made trays, which properly fit over the teeth and takes 1-2 weeks typically.

This offers you much more control over the last color as well as provides virtually "immediate" results, leaving the practice with a great white smile. Diet plan as well as way of life, tea, coffee, wine or cigarette smoking can all impact the look of your teeth. " My youngsters like their youngster smile visits. Really pleasant staff and also Last consultation was with Lynsey and also was fantastic with my children. best Teeth Whitening for suggest the method and also their service."

Felicitating Dr. Sakunthala Boppana for Getting Nominated to Texas Top 10% in General Dentistry - Press Release - Digital Journal

Felicitating Dr. Sakunthala Boppana for Getting Nominated to Texas Top 10% in General Dentistry - Press Release.

Posted: Mon, 04 Jan 2021 10:31:06 GMT [source]

Although an unique occasion can be an excellent excuse to get your teeth bleached, the results can still be appreciated for about months after that. That's just 60 minutes spent in our teeth whitening clinic in London for 18 months of attractive teeth, as well as your teeth whitening could last also much longer if you utilize the appropriate aftercare. Optident have over thirty years of experience supplying whitening for dental experts in the UK. Your patients must be able to trust you and your practice from the moment they go through the door to the moment they leave. Flavour-- Lots of items contain glycerine to prolong the life span of their items.

This can adversely affect the preference of the gel and can be difficult to mask. Select something that has a fresh flavour as well as will certainly make the treatment a lot more pleasurable for your clients. 6% Hydrogen Peroxide (equal to approx. 18% Carbamide Peroxide)-- The best EU accepted whitening gel can be utilized in your home by the person in a customized produced tray for minutes at a time. If you choose, and if your dental expert claims you appropriate, you might go with a whitening set to utilize in your home.

Does baking soda whiten teeth?

Baking soda has natural whitening properties and has been shown to be effective at removing stains on your teeth and whitening your smile. That's why it's a popular ingredient in many commercial toothpastes.

Making use of Inform the results are wonderful and long lasting with really basic upkeep. We will certainly take precise impacts and also make the Enlighten whitening trays for you to use for two weeks overnight in your home.

Teeth Whitening Market With Covid-19 Impact and Industry Size, Share, Latest Trends, CAGR Status Forecast 2027:DBMR Updates - The Courier

Teeth Whitening Market With Covid-19 Impact and Industry Size, Share, Latest Trends, CAGR Status Forecast 2027:DBMR Updates.

Posted: Mon, 28 Dec 2020 14:29:00 GMT [source]

Cosmetic Dental Care" Teeth Whitening.

Paying for the residence sets or strips might seem less costly but they might not be. With the house packages or strips, you require much more therapies and also you will require them more frequently to maintain your teeth at the same degree of whiteness. Conserve time on booking a consultation by submitting your complimentary e-Consult! Comply with the steps to submit your details and we'll return to you with our customised recommended treatment strategy.

What Tooth Whitening Choices Are Offered At Brite Dental Centers?

Read our Aesthetic dental care sales brochure to discover even more alternatives to boost your teeth and also smile with aesthetic dentistry at Elmsleigh Residence. To 'top-up' your treatment and also recover your lighter shade in the future, you just acquire added tubes of whitening gel at Elmsleigh Home for ₤ 20 each. You will go back to gather your mouth trays and be demonstrated how to use the whitening gel to the trays and also fit them in position. Fast-setting dental material is made use of to take impacts of your teeth, which are utilized to make tailor-made, premium mouth trays that fit you precisely. Load the provided whitening trays with a small amount of the whitening representative. Treatment must be taken not to overfill the tray, as this will be dislodged over your periodontals when put. You should aim to utilize about half a tube or much less for each whitening tray per night.

Offering or giving oral therapies when you are not signed up with the GDC is illegal practice. The GDC will certainly check out all allegations of unlawful technique as well as potentially prosecute them in the criminal courts. No other types of dental specialist can securely provide this treatment as well as any individual that is not on our registerwill be breaking the law if they do so. Raising concerns concerning oral treatment The GDC can explore serious problems concerning the capability, health or behaviour of a dental professional.

Professional Teeth Whitening and Power Toothbrushes Market Witness an Outstanding Growth and Strong Revenue and Forecast 2027 - The Courier

Professional Teeth Whitening and Power Toothbrushes Market Witness an Outstanding Growth and Strong Revenue and Forecast 2027.

Posted: Mon, 28 Dec 2020 12:57:00 GMT [source]

Why Is Naturawhite The Very Best?

If you have a tooth that has gone darker after origin canal therapy, your dental expert may suggest internal bleaching. This implies re-opening the hole that was initially made in your tooth, placing the lightening item into it, and afterwards shutting the opening with a temporary filling. This may need to be duplicated two or three times, regarding a week apart.

The dentist will certainly then analyze your teeth to make certain there are no other outstanding issues or troubles. They will search for splits, tooth cavities or declining gum lines that might cause the whitening procedure to irritate. Once it is identified that you can proceed, the dentist or dental hygienist with offer your teeth a professional cleansing. This will eliminate any plaque or any other accumulation or captured food.

Your first appointment offers us with the opportunity to analyze your oral health as well as make sure that there are no underlying issues that require addressing initially.

If you battle to fit teeth whitening consultations around a busy timetable, then why not place your feet up and treat yourself from the comfort of your living room.

There are many means teeth can become discoloured (ie. tobacco, tea, coffee, red wine, coloured food) as well as whitening toothpaste is useful however can only take you so far.

The good news is we offer the most current teeth whitening therapies which can substantially enhance the appearance of your smile by eliminating these discolorations.

Teeth whitening is among the most prominent cosmetic therapies we offer, it is a basic and also budget-friendly means to brighten your smile.

The Enlighten system is the only tooth whitening system that assures a color of B1 brightness, regardless of the starting shade of your teeth.

We make use of the Enlighten home teeth whitening system, which comprises teeth whitening gel and also specially-made whitening trays.

Call Us Regarding Our Tooth Whitening.

It can not make your teeth great white, but it can lighten the existing colour by a number of shades. There can be some boosted level of sensitivity throughout the course of treatment. These adverse effects can be decreased by preventing acidic beverages for the duration of the treatment. A well equipped as well as thoroughly filled tray helps to make the treatment much more comfortable. So it's excellent when you wish to look your best for upcoming wedding events, graduations and other special occasions. Making use of advanced modern technology, Ash Dental's knowledgeable whitening specialists make use of Enlighten to brighten even one of the most tarnished as well as darkened of teeth by shades over just two weeks.

Concern our CPD events focused on teeth whitening during the year, to aid keep you approximately day. The UK laws make no difference in between in-surgery whitening as well as the stipulation of home whitening sets. As a result of major issues regarding the safety of sodium perborate- and chlorine dioxide-based whitening products, these whitening agents need to not be used. Historically, the lawful position in Europe associating with teeth whitening has actually been perplexing, with various interpretations of the EU Directive being used in different European nations. After the color has been figured out, the dental practitioner will certainly put a cheek-retractor, which subjects your teeth totally for therapy. Then, they will use a safety material or gel that will certainly solidify to keep your gum tissues from being irritated.

The trays are looked for fit and also the bleach syringes and guidelines given. The trays are to be used daily for 30-- 40 mins, or every 2nd or 3rd day to accomplish results. Conversely, they can be slept in over night, for this a various focus of bleach will be offered. Some discolouration might happen within the tooth itself e.g. some prescription antibiotics used at youth, trauma as well as more frequently aging. There are alternative ways to alter the colour of teeth, namely veneers, crowns or tooth coloured fillings, though these may entail some elimination of the natural tooth material. Teeth normally discolour with age, which often can make you really feel self-conscious regarding smiling in public.

How long does it take yellow teeth to turn white?

The natural yellow and blue/grey tooth shades will whiten faster than a tooth with added stains from medication, tobacco, and food. Teeth with a natural yellow shade will generally whiten in about 1–2 weeks, whereas teeth with a blue/grey shade can take twice as long.

When complete, your dental practitioner will shut the opening completely with a tooth-coloured dental filling. Your dental practitioner will use the gel and make use of an unique blue light to amplify the whitening procedure, offering quick results. If you think your teeth whitening has actually been accomplished illegally get in touch with the General Dental Council on or email illegalpractice@gdc-uk.org. Teeth whitening involves bleaching your teeth to make them lighter.

You'll would like to know as long as you can around teeth whitening and which choice might be best for you. At the end of the treatment, your teeth will certainly depend on 6 tones whiter ‡.