#Best Payroll Service Providers
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Payroll Service Providers
Grow4SureConsulting which is one of the most popular Payroll Service Providers, becomes a symbol of high-level services and preciseness that helps hospitality businesses to run payroll in a smooth manner. One of the key jobs of the consulting agency Grow4SureConsulting is to provide hotels, restaurants, and bars with an effective payroll management system that considers complex problems of this type.
#Payroll Service Providers#Best Payroll Service Providers#Payroll Management#HR and Payroll Services#Payroll Outsourcing
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BEST EOR Service provider in India
Trust our expertise for the Best EOR service provider in India, The Top 10 Employer of record Service providers in India, List of EOR companies Bangalore Best EOR Service Providers in Delhi | Top 10 companies India list
#top eor providers in india#best payroll services provider in delhi & ncr#consultant payroll services in india#posh training in india
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Essential HR & Payroll Solutions: GOSI Compliance, Employee Benefits, and Contract Rules in UAE
For companies operating within Saudi Arabia and the UAE, efficient administration of payroll and HR is essential to ensure compliance with the local rules and regulations as well as effectively manage employee benefits. This guide provides the basis for the GOSI Compliance, HR payroll solutions as well as the regulations for contracts to help companies navigate the complexities of regulations and help their employees.
Understanding HR Payroll Management in Saudi Arabia & UAE
Effective payroll management system does more than processing salary payments; it also helps ensure the compliance of local laws, improves benefits administration, and enhances overall efficiency. Businesses operating in Saudi Arabia and the UAE are faced with unique challenges when it comes to payroll. These range from figuring out the GOSI system in Saudi Arabia to managing benefits for employees in the absence of limitless contracts for the UAE.
Key Components of Payroll Management Software
Employing payroll software for managing payroll has numerous benefits especially for companies with a variety of employees and complicated needs for payroll. Here are a few key aspects to be looking for:
Automatic Payroll Processing Automating payroll will help to reduce errors, speed up the process and increase accuracy.
Monitoring Compliance is a way to verify compliance with local laws governing labor, like GOSI, which is a requirement in Saudi as well as UAE contract regulations.
Self-Service Portals for Employees allows employees to check their pay details, benefits, as well as leave balances quickly.
Integration with other HR Systems seamless integration with HR systems to automate processes like leave and attendance tracking.
GOSI Compliance in Saudi Arabia
The General Organization for Social Insurance (GOSI) is the social insurance system that is mandatory for Saudi Arabia, covering various benefits for employees including disability and retirement. The compliance with GOSI is vital for all companies operating within the Kingdom.
What is GOSI?
GOSI offers social insurance benefits to Saudi citizens as well as expats who work for private companies. Employers and employees also contribute to GOSI which helps with the retirement benefits, workplace hazards as well as disability and retirement benefits.
Employer's Contribution Employers must contribute 12 percent of the salary of the employee to GOSI in Saudi.
employee contribution Employees can also contribute 10 percent of their wages to GOSI.
The reporting requirement Companies must be able to accurately pay their employees to GOSI each month to ensure that they are in compliance.
Importance of GOSI Compliance
For businesses in Saudi Arabia, maintaining GOSI compliance is not only an obligation of law but crucial to create an environment that is positive for employees.
Avoiding penalties Infractions to GOSI rules can result in sanctions and legal consequences.
Benefits for Employees: GOSI compliance ensures employees are provided with insurance and retirement benefits which improve job satisfaction.
Reputation Management Compliance with GOSI shows that your company is committed to ensuring the security of your employees as well as establishing a positive company image.
HR Payroll Management in the UAE: Limited and Unlimited Contracts
In the UAE the employment contracts are classified by their terms as only and unlimited and have distinct rules for each kind. Understanding these distinctions is essential for companies, particularly when it comes to the calculation of benefits at the end of the service and coordinating the payroll.
Limited Contracts
The limit contract with the UAE is generally a fixed-term contract, with a term of one to three years. It is terminated automatically at the expiration date unless it is renewed.
The End-of-Service Benefits Employees who have contracts with a limited duration can receive a gratuity contingent on the duration of their service.
End of Contract Rules A termination that occurs prior to the expiration date of the contract could result in penalties unless the parties have mutually agreed on.
Renewal Limits and Renewal Renewal Contracts with limited terms can be renewed, however they have stricter rules for renewal and termination.
Unlimited Contracts
A Unlimited contract with the UAE doesn't have an end date fixed and can be ended by either party upon giving notice.
Flexible termination Employers and employees are able to terminate an unlimited contract at any time with notice, which makes this contract flexible.
Gratuity Rights The employees have the right to receive a gratuity in accordance with the number of years they have worked since their termination.
is a common choice for roles that last a long time Unlimited contracts are typically utilized for long-term and indefinite tasks, making them an increasingly popular option for permanent jobs.
Using Payroll Management Software for Compliance and Efficiency
Installing payroll management software will simplify the complicated demands for payroll for Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Here's how:
Automated Compliance Management
Payroll software helps with compliance by staying up-to-date on rules and regulations like GOSI, which is a part of Saudi Arabia and UAE regulations on employment.
Automated Calculation of Contributions It ensures the accuracy of GOSI and employee contributions to employers as well as employees working in Saudi Arabia.
Calculation of the Contract-Specific Gratification Calculates gratuities according to the conditions of limited contracts in the UAE.
Reduces the risk of errors made by manual Automating reduces the possibility of mistakes while ensuring that payroll processing is accurate.
Efficient Employee Benefits Management
The management of the benefits of employees through payroll software enables the administration of benefits to be simplified and improves employee satisfaction and efficiency of HR.
Self-Service Portals for Employees Employees have the ability to see their benefits, balances on leave and pay slips, increasing the transparency of their benefits.
Benefits packages that can be customized Payroll software allows you to handle a variety of benefits for employees including retirement and health insurance.
The Leave Management: Monitors annual absences, sick days, and other absences in order to calculate entitlements with precision.
Ideal for Small Businesses
For payroll firms that cater to small businesses employing tools for managing payroll is crucial to manage benefits and payroll with a limited amount of resources.
Cost-effective Many payroll software choices are designed to be accessible to small-sized companies.
Scalability as the business grows, payroll software is able to be adapted to handle a larger number of employees and the more complicated payroll requirements.
Time-Saving Automates tedious tasks. This frees HR resources to concentrate upon strategic projects.
Employee Benefits in Saudi Arabia & UAE
The provision of extensive employees with a wide range of benefits is essential for employers to keep and attract top talent from Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Here's a list of the most common benefits that are offered:
Health Insurance
Insurance for health is a compulsory obligation to be covered in Saudi Arabia and the UAE, with employers required to offer coverage to their employees.
Saudi The requirement Employers must provide healthcare insurance coverage to employees as well as their families.
UAE Requirements Health insurance is compulsory in all UAE residents. Employers generally cover dependent and employee insurance.
End-of-Service Gratuity
The end-of-service bonus is an important incentive for employees who work in UAE in the UAE and Saudi Arabia, calculated based on the length of their employment.
UAE Gratuity In the case of gratuity entitlements, they differ depending on the type of contract, whether unlimited or limited..
Saudi Gratuity Like similar to UAE, Saudi Arabia mandates gratuity payments to employees upon the completion of at two years of employment.
Leave Entitlements
Each country has its own specific regulations for annual leave,maternity leave and sick leave law. They must be effectively managed by payroll systems.
annual leave Employees have the right to at least 21 days of annual paid time off in the UAE.
sick leave The two countries Saudi Arabia and the UAE provide sick leave paid with specific limitations dependent on the length of employment.
Maternity Leave Employers are obliged to offer Maternity leaves in each country, generally between 45 and 90 days.
Insuring compliance with Payroll and Benefits regulations
For businesses operating in Saudi Arabia and the UAE and the UAE, compliance with requirements for benefits and payroll is vital to avoid penalties and create a positive work environment.
Best Practices for Compliance
Stay Up-to-date Review and update policies in order to be in sync with changes to GOSI laws in Saudi Arabia and UAE labor laws.
Install Payroll Software Make sure you invest in dependable HR payroll software to handle payroll and benefits as well as compliance easily.
Inform employees Keep employees updated about their rights and benefits as well as ensuring transparency and confidence.
Conclusion
Controlling the payroll process, GOSI compliance and employee benefits, managing employee benefits, GOSI compliance, and payroll Saudi Arabia and the UAE requires a deep knowledge of local regulations as well as effective HR strategies. With the help of complete payroll management tools and staying current in terms of contract rules, businesses can simplify their operations and increase satisfaction of employees. Utilizing technology, like the HR payroll management software provided by OPS helps to be compliant and help the workforce efficiently, which is essential to the long-term success of these ever-changing markets.
OPS offers customized solutions to help companies operating in Saudi Arabia and the UAE adhere to the highest standards of compliance while offering the most efficient tools to manage the benefits of employees and payroll.
#best payroll company for small business#payroll outsourcing for midsize business#payroll management system software#payroll services for midsize business#payroll training#payroll outsourcing for small business#payroll companies for small business#payroll management software#dubai minimum wage#dubai labor law#payroll services#outsourcing company in uae#uae it outsourcing support#payroll providers uae#managed payroll services#hrms payroll software#best payroll company for large business#payroll service provider for large business#minimum wage in dubai#labor in dubai#uae labour law leave salary#labour law sick leave uae#dubai labour insurance last date#uae labour law working hours#unlimited contract uae#limited contract in uae#uae limited contract#gosi in saudi arabia#wage protection system#hr and payroll
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Streamline Your Payroll with the Best Online Payroll Services for Small Business
Looking for the best payroll providers for small businesses? Simplify your payroll management with the best online payroll services for small business at Evmark.io.
Managing payroll can be a daunting task for small business owners. Ensuring that all employees are paid accurately and on time while complying with tax regulations is crucial, but it can also be time-consuming and complex. This is where online payroll services come in handy. At Evmark, we provide the best online payroll services for small businesses, simplifying payroll management and allowing you to focus on growing your business.
Why Choose Online Payroll Services?
Online payroll services offer a range of benefits for small businesses, making them an essential tool for efficient business operations. Here are some reasons why you should consider using online payroll services:
Time-Saving: Automating payroll processes saves significant time, reducing the burden on your administrative staff and allowing them to focus on other critical tasks.
Accuracy: Online payroll services minimize the risk of errors in calculations and tax filings, ensuring your employees are paid correctly and on time.
Compliance: Staying compliant with federal and state payroll regulations can be challenging. Online payroll services keep you up-to-date with the latest laws and ensure your business meets all compliance requirements.
Accessibility: With online payroll services, you can manage your payroll from anywhere, at any time. This flexibility is particularly beneficial for small business owners who are always on the go.
Cost-Effective: Outsourcing payroll can be more cost-effective than hiring in-house staff to handle payroll tasks, especially for small businesses with limited resources.
Features of the Best Online Payroll Services
When choosing an online payroll service provider, it's essential to look for specific features that cater to the unique needs of small businesses. Here are some key features offered by Evmark's online payroll services:
Automated Payroll Processing: Our system automates the entire payroll process, from calculating wages and taxes to generating paychecks and direct deposits.
Tax Management: We handle all aspects of tax management, including calculating payroll taxes, filing tax returns, and managing tax payments. This ensures compliance and reduces the risk of penalties.
Employee Self-Service Portal: Our user-friendly portal allows employees to access their pay stubs, tax forms, and personal information, reducing the administrative burden on your HR team.
Customizable Payroll Reports: Generate detailed payroll reports to gain insights into your payroll expenses, employee compensation, and tax liabilities. These reports are customizable to meet your specific business needs.
Direct Deposit and Check Printing: Offer your employees the convenience of direct deposit or printed paychecks. Our system supports both options to accommodate your preferences.
Integration with Accounting Software: Seamlessly integrate our payroll services with your existing accounting software for streamlined financial management.
Why Evmark is the Best Choice for Small Business Payroll Services
At Evmark, we understand the unique challenges faced by small businesses when it comes to payroll management. Our online payroll services are designed to simplify the process, ensuring accuracy, compliance, and efficiency. Here’s why Evmark stands out as the best payroll provider for small businesses:
Expertise: With years of experience in payroll management, our team of experts is well-versed in the complexities of payroll processing and compliance.
Personalized Support: We offer personalized support to our clients, ensuring that you receive the assistance you need when you need it. Our dedicated customer service team is always ready to help.
Affordable Pricing: We offer competitive pricing plans tailored to the needs of small businesses, making our services accessible without compromising on quality.
Scalable Solutions: As your business grows, our payroll services can scale with you, ensuring that your payroll management remains efficient and effective.
User-Friendly Interface: Our intuitive platform is easy to use, allowing you to manage your payroll with minimal training and effort.
Conclusion
Efficient payroll management is crucial for the success of any small business. By choosing Evmark's online payroll services, you can streamline your payroll processes, ensure compliance, and focus on what matters most – growing your business. Explore the benefits of our online payroll services today and see why we are the best payroll provider for small businesses.
Simplify your payroll management with the best online payroll services for small business at Evmark. Visit Evmark.io to learn more and get started today!
Location: 25101 The Old Rd #155, Stevenson Ranch, CA 91381
Phone: (747) 444-0449
#Best payroll services california#Payroll providers for small business#Best payroll providers for small business#Human resources management#Human resource manager California
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Why do companies use a PEO?
Companies use a Professional Employer Organization (PEO) for several key reasons:
Cost Savings: PEOs negotiate better rates for benefits due to their larger employee base, reducing overall HR costs.
Compliance and Risk Management: PEOs ensure companies stay compliant with employment laws, minimizing the risk of fines and legal issues.
Employee Benefits: Access to comprehensive benefits packages helps attract and retain top talent.
HR Expertise: Companies gain access to experienced HR professionals for payroll, recruitment, and employee management.
Improved Efficiency: Partnering with the best PEO companies streamlines operations, allowing businesses to focus on growth.
Scalability: PEOs provide scalable solutions that grow with the business.
Employee Training and Development: PEOs offer training programs to enhance employee skills and productivity.
Using a PEO enables companies to focus on their core activities while benefiting from professional HR management and robust employee benefits.
#best peo service#peo service#payroll#human resources#best peo service provider#peo firm#peo solutions#peo solution#peo payroll service#PEO companies near me
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Best Outsourcing Agency in Chennai |Diamond Lead Associates
DlaHR specializes in outsourcing HR services tailored for startup companies, offering expertise in recruitment, onboarding, payroll, and compliance. With flexible solutions and personalized support, we empower startups to focus on growth while ensuring efficient and compliant HR operations.
#Best HR outsourcing Company in Chennai#Best HR outsourcing Agency in Chennai#Leading HR outsourcing service provider in chennai#Recruitment outsourcing in Chennai. Payroll compliance outsourcing#ESI PF Compliance outsourcing in Chennai
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Online Payroll Services
Revolutionize your payroll process with Innovative Pro Solutions' Online Payroll Services. Say goodbye to manual calculations and paperwork. Our user-friendly platform streamlines payroll tasks, ensuring accuracy and efficiency. Simplify your payroll management today with Innovative Pro Solutions.
Address: Ottawa, Ontario K2C0B9, CA
Email: [email protected]
#Best Digital Marketing Agency Canada#Top 10 Seo Companies In Canada#Payroll Services In Canada#Digital Marketing Company Canada#Top Payroll Outsourcing Companies In Canada#Marketing Agency Near Me#Payroll Outsourcing Services#Online Marketing Agency#Online Payroll Services#Website Development Company#Payroll Outsourcing In Canada#Website Development Company Canada#Top Web Designing Companies In Canada#Web Designing Company In Canada#Best Website Design Company In Canada#Web Design Agency Canada#Website Designer Canada#Payroll Service Providers
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3 Risks Of Outsourcing Payroll For International Employers
Outsourcing payroll can be an effective way for international employers to streamline their payroll processes and reduce administrative burdens. However, there are several risks associated with outsourcing payroll that international employers must be aware of. In this article, we will explore the top three risks of payroll outsourcing canada for international employers and provide tips for mitigating these risks.
Main risks of payroll outsourcing
1. Compliance Risks
One of the most significant risks associated with outsourcing payroll for international employers is compliance risk. Payroll data is subject to numerous regulations and compliance requirements, such as data protection laws and financial regulations. These regulations can vary widely depending on the jurisdiction and can be complex and challenging to navigate.
When outsourcing payroll, it is essential to ensure that the payroll service provider has a thorough understanding of the regulatory environment in the countries where the payroll service providers canada operates. The provider must be familiar with all relevant regulations and be able to ensure compliance with them.
If a payroll service provider fails to comply with these regulations, it can result in fines, legal action, or damage to the business's reputation. International employers must be vigilant and ensure that their payroll service provider is compliant with all relevant regulations.
2. Data Security Risks
Outsourcing payroll can also increase data security risks for international employers. Payroll data is highly sensitive and must be kept secure to protect employees' personal information and prevent fraud or other malicious activities.
When outsourcing payroll, international employers must ensure that their payroll service provider has a robust data security infrastructure in place. The provider must have proper security protocols, firewalls, intrusion detection systems, and data encryption tools to protect against cyber-attacks.
It is also essential to ensure that employees of the payroll service provider are subject to the same background checks or screening processes as the business's employees. Insider threats can be particularly damaging, and it is essential to minimize the risk of malicious activity by service provider employees.
3. Communication Risks
Finally, communication risks are another potential issue for international employers outsourcing payroll. There may be language barriers, cultural differences, or time zone differences that can create challenges in communication between the international payroll processing companies and the payroll service provider.
Clear communication is essential to ensure that payroll data is processed accurately and on time. International employers must ensure that they have clear communication channels with their payroll service provider and that they understand each other's expectations.
Mitigating Risks of Outsourcing Payroll for International Employers
To mitigate the risks of outsourcing payroll for international employers, several steps can be taken, including:
Conduct thorough due diligence on the payroll service provider to ensure that they have a thorough understanding of the regulatory environment in the countries where the business operates.
Establish clear communication channels with the payroll service provider and regularly review and update expectations.
Use strong passwords and two-factor authentication to secure access to payroll data.
Train employees on proper data security practices and regularly review and update security policies and procedures.
Use data encryption tools to protect sensitive data, such as social security numbers and bank account details.
Monitor payroll data regularly for signs of unauthorized access or malicious activity.
Limit access to sensitive payroll data to only those employees who need it and regularly review access privileges.
Conclusion
Outsourcing payroll can be a cost-effective way for international employers to streamline their payroll processes and reduce administrative burdens. However, it is essential to be aware of the potential risks associated with best payroll services canada particularly compliance, data security, and communication risks.
International employers must take proactive steps to mitigate these risks and ensure that their payroll service provider is compliant with all relevant regulations, has a robust data security infrastructure in place, and has clear communication channels. By taking these steps, international employers can enjoy the benefits of outsourcing payroll while minimizing the associated risks.
Read more:
Payroll Service Providers — Options to Suit Your Business
Top 5 Requirements of Global Payroll
#payroll service providers canada#best payroll services canada#payroll outsourcing canada#international payroll processing companies
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#HR outsourcing#HR outsourcing companies#HR outsourcing services#human resources outsourcing services#HR payroll outsourcing companies#human resources outsourcing companies#HR outsourcing companies in Bangalore#HR outsourcing firms#HR outsourcing providers#HR outsourcing services in Bangalore#top HR outsourcing services in Bangalore#HR outsourcing & consulting in Bangalore#best HR outsourcing services in Bangalore#top HR outsourcing solutions in Bangalore#HR outsourcing in Bangalore
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Link HR offers payroll outsourcing services that take care of all the hassles related to managing the finances and compliance of your company. Our expert payroll solutions help you manage flawless operations while letting you concentrate on your primary company activities. Payroll management is dependable and stress-free with us.
#payroll service providers in India#payroll service providers#linkhr#Best Payroll Service Providers In India
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Right House
https://righthouse.com.my/
Right House, based in Malaysia, provides first-class, user-friendly payroll solutions that meet industry standards in terms of technology and system infrastructure.
#Social Security Organization Malaysia#outsourcing accounts payable Malaysia#Best Payroll For Small Business#Employee Provident Fund Malaysia#Employer Statutory Account Registration Services Malaysia
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Best EOR Service Provider in Bangalore: Brookspayroll
In the dynamic business landscape of Bangalore, companies are constantly seeking ways to streamline operations and optimize costs. One of the most effective strategies for achieving this is by partnering with an Employer of Record (EOR) service provider. Among the many players in this space, Brookspayroll stands out as the best EOR service provider in Bangalore, offering unparalleled expertise and comprehensive solutions tailored to meet the unique needs of businesses. What is an Employer of Record (EOR)? An Employer of Record (EOR) is a third-party organization that takes on the legal responsibilities of employment, allowing companies to hire employees in a new market without the need to establish a legal entity. The EOR handles various tasks such as payroll processing, tax compliance, employee benefits, and other HR functions, enabling businesses to focus on their core operations. Why Choose Brookspayroll as Your EOR Service Provider in Bangalore? Brookspayroll has earned its reputation as the best EOR service provider in Bangalore through its commitment to delivering high-quality services that cater to the specific requirements of businesses operating in India’s Silicon Valley.
Local Expertise with Global Standards Brookspayroll combines local knowledge with global best practices, ensuring that businesses are fully compliant with Bangalore's complex labor laws and regulations. This local expertise is crucial for companies looking to mitigate risks and avoid legal pitfalls when expanding their workforce.
Comprehensive EOR Services Brookspayroll offers a full suite of EOR services, including payroll management, tax filing, employee benefits administration, and regulatory compliance. Their end-to-end solutions are designed to minimize administrative burdens, allowing businesses to operate smoothly and efficiently.
Tailored Solutions for Diverse Industries Whether you're in IT, manufacturing, healthcare, or any other sector, Brookspayroll provides customized EOR solutions that align with your industry’s specific needs. This flexibility makes them the preferred choice for companies of all sizes, from startups to large enterprises.
Cutting-Edge Technology Brookspayroll leverages advanced technology to deliver seamless and efficient EOR services. Their digital platforms offer real-time insights into payroll processing, employee management, and compliance status, enabling businesses to make informed decisions with ease.
Dedicated Support and Consultancy Brookspayroll goes beyond just offering EOR services—they provide dedicated support and consultancy to help businesses navigate the complexities of workforce management in Bangalore. Their team of experts is always on hand to address any queries or concerns, ensuring a smooth and hassle-free experience. Benefits of Partnering with Brookspayroll Partnering with Brookspayroll offers numerous advantages, including: Cost Efficiency: Reduce the overhead costs associated with managing an in-house HR department. Risk Mitigation: Ensure full compliance with local labor laws and minimize the risk of legal issues. Speed to Market: Quickly establish a presence in Bangalore without the need to set up a legal entity. Focus on Core Business: Free up time and resources to focus on your core business operations. Scalability: Easily scale your workforce up or down based on your business needs. Conclusion Expanding your business in Bangalore can be a daunting task, but with Brookspayroll as your EOR service provider, you can navigate the complexities of employment with confidence. Their expertise, comprehensive services, and commitment to client success make them the best choice for businesses looking to establish a strong presence in Bangalore. Choose Brookspayroll for reliable, efficient, and compliant EOR services that empower your business to thrive in one of India’s most competitive markets.
#top eor providers in india#best payroll services provider in delhi & ncr#consultant payroll services in india#posh training in india
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Leashed
Kinktober Day 10- Pet Play
warnings: pet play, cockwarming, dom/sub dynamics, vaginal sex, 18+ minors DNI
main masterlist
kinktober masterlist
Tommy had always wanted a dog. Growing up he never had one, playing with the strays on the street instead. Now, he doesn’t have time to take care of a pet. Not one so reliant on him, anyway.
That’s why he has you. You’re obedient, never causing any trouble or making messes he has to clean up. You love to play, but you’re content sitting at his feet as long as he pets you every now and then. You’re good at fetch; you always get him his matchbook or a glass for his whiskey whenever he asks. And best of all, you have a tight cunt you’re eager to let him use whenever he wants it.
You’re not a prostitute, he made that much clear when your arrangement started. You’re on his payroll for the company you provide, not the sex. Whatever you do with your cunt is between you and Tommy, not the business.
He got you a custom made collar from the leather worker down the street, and your role has been set ever since. You’re Tommy Shelby’s puppy. Loyal, obedient, perfect.
Today Tommy is in a particularly sour mood. A business deal fell through or something, you never know the specifics, and he’s been angry all afternoon.
You know better not to pester him, especially when he’s like this, but you truly hate seeing him upset. You’ve been kneeling at his feet and he hasn’t even pet you in over an hour. You paw at his pant leg to get his attention.
“What is it?” he asks without looking down at you.
“Do you need anything, sir?” you ask.
He shakes his head and sighs heavily. “If I needed something, I’d take it. Keep quiet, pet.”
You pout but take his instruction and stay silent. You walk forward on your knees to rest your cheek against his thigh. He sighs again but doesn’t chastise you for it. Still, he doesn’t pet you.
You stay like that for a while, but you can feel his tension and you hate when he won’t tell you what he needs.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No,” he replies, frustration evident in his voice.
“I can help you relax, sir.”
Tommy slams his fist onto the solid oak top of his desk. “I don’t need your fucking help. I’m trying to work.”
You huff. You don’t usually act like this, but Tommy is never usually so dismissive of you.
“I was going to offer to sit on your cock while you work, but I guess you’re too busy.”
It was petty, but it peaked Tommy’s interest. His large hand cups the back of your neck and you look up at him.
“You’ve never acted this way before,” he says with an unreadable tone.
“I just want to help you, sir.”
Tommy's jaw clenches and he sighs heavily. Then, he reaches down to loop his finger in the ring of your collar and pulls you up to your feet. You watch as he undoes his pants and takes out his soft cock.
He looks up at you expectantly, waiting for you to service him. You grasp his dick and begin to stroke him gently, working him up to full hardness. It doesn't take long; Tommy can never resist your soft hands.
Once he's at full mast, you pull up your dress and straddle his lap. His cock slides into you slowly and once he's fully seated, you wiggle your hips to get comfortable.
"Stop fuckin' moving. I've got work to do," Tommy gruffs.
You nod and rest your chin on his shoulder. You sit still like a good girl while he fills out whatever paperwork is on his desk. You can feel the tension in his muscles release a bit as time passes, your cunt obviously doing the trick.
You don't move your body, but your walls clench around him every now and then. You're not doing it on purpose, you just can't help it. It feels so good being full of Tommy's dick.
"Puppy," Tommy says, breaking the almost hour of silence.
"Yes, sir?"
"You're distracting me."
"I'm sorry, sir. I swear I'm not doing it on purpose," you say with a pout, trying to look as honest as possible.
Tommy puts his pen down and leans back in his chair, creating space between your face and his so he can get a good look at you.
"Cunt's just that desperate for me, eh?" You nod. "Well I suppose I've worked hard enough for one day. I could use a bit of stress release."
Tommy's hands land on your hips and he begins to rock you back and forth. Tommy never was strong willed when it came to you.
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby smut#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinders smut#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy x reader#kinktober#kinktober 2023
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Meatspace twiddling
I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me next weekend (Mar 30/31) in ANAHEIM at WONDERCON, then in Boston with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then Providence (Apr 12), and beyond!
"Enshittification" isn't just a way of describing the symptoms of platform decay: it's also a theory of the mechanism of decay – the means by which platforms get shittier and shittier until they are a giant pile of shit.
I call that mechanism "twiddling": this is the ability of digital services to alter their business-logic – the prices they charge, the payouts they offer, the particulars of the deal – from instant to instant, for each user, continuously:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/
Contrary to Big Tech's own boasting about its operations, the tricks that tech firms play to siphon value away from business customers and end-users aren't very sophisticated. They're crude gimmicks, like offering a higher per-hour wage to Uber drivers whom the algorithm judges to be picky about which rides they'll clock in for, and then lowering the wage by small increments as a way of lulling the driver into gradually accepting a permanent lower rate:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men
This is a simple trick. The difference is that tech platforms like Uber can play it over and over, and very quickly. There's plenty of wage-stealing scumbag bosses who'd have loved to have shaved pennies off their workers' paychecks, then added a few cents back in if a worker cried foul, then started shaving the pennies again. The thing that stopped those bosses was the bottleneck of payroll clerks, who couldn't make the changes fast enough.
Uber plays crude tricks – like claiming that a driver isn't an employee because the control is mediated through an app – and then piles more crude tricks on top – this algorithmic wage discrimination gambit.
Have you ever watched a shell-game performed very slowly?
https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-do-penn-tellers-famous-cups-and-balls-trick-in-12-steps
It's a series of very simple gimmicks, performed very quickly and smoothly. Computers are very quick and very smooth. The quickness of the hand deceives the eye: do crude tricks with superhuman speed and they'll seem sophisticated.
The one bright spot in the Great Enshittening that we're living through is that many firms are not sufficiently digitized to to these crude tricks very quickly. Take grocery stores: they can get up to a lot of the same tricks as Amazon – for example, they can charge suppliers for placement on the most prominent, easiest-to-reach shelves, reorganizing your shopping based on which companies pay the biggest bribes, rather than offering the best products and prices.
But Amazon takes this to a whole different level – beyond simply organizing their product pages based on payola, they do this for search. You ask Amazon, "What's your cheapest batteries?" and it lies to you. If you click the first link in a search-results page, you'll pay 29% more than you would if you got the best product – a product that is, on average, 17 places down on the results page. Amazon makes $38b/year taking bribes to lie to you:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens
Amazon can do more than that. Thanks to its digital nature, it can continuously reprice its offerings – indeed, it can simply make up each price displayed on every product at the instant you look at it – based on its surveillance data about you, estimating your willingness to pay. For sellers, Amazon can continuously re-weight the likelihood that a given product will be shown to a customer based on the seller's willingness to discount their products, even to the point where they go out of business:
https://www.businessinsider.com/sadistic-amazon-treated-book-sellers-the-way-a-cheetah-would-pursue-a-sickly-gazelle-2013-10
Twiddling, in other words, lets digital services honeycomb their servers with sneaky wormholes that let them siphon value away from one kind of platform user and give it to another (as when Apple silently began spying on Iphone owners to create profiles for advertisers), or to themselves.
But hard-goods businesses struggle to do this kind of twiddling. Not for lack of desire – but for lack of capacity. Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon Fresh – an online grocery store – can change prices and layout millions of times per day, at effectively zero cost. Jeff Bezos, owner of Whole Foods – a brick-and-mortar grocer – needs a army of teenagers on rollerskates with pricing guns to achieve a fraction of this agility.
So hard-goods businesses are somewhat enshittification-resistant. It's not that their owners are more interested in the welfare of their customers, workers and suppliers – they merely lack the capacity to continuously rejigger the way their business runs.
Well, about that.
Grocers have been experimenting with "electronic shelf labels" in order to do "dynamic pricing" – that means that prices change quickly, in response to circumstances:
https://www.npr.org/2024/03/06/1197958433/dynamic-pricing-grocery-supermarkets
This doesn't have to be bad! As @planetmoney points out, it's a little weird that grocers don't discount milk whose sell-by date is drawing near. That milk is worth less to shoppers, because they have to use it more quickly lest it expire. Instead of marking down the price of perishable goods – day-old lettuce, yesterday's bread, etc – grocers put them on the shelves next to fresher, more valuable products, leading to billions of dollars' worth of food-waste and and unimaginable quantities of methane-producing, planet-cooking landfill.
In Norway, ESLs are pretty well established and – at least according to Planet Money's reporting – they are used exclusively to offer discounts in order to reduce waste. They make everyone better off.
But towards the end of the story, they note that Norway's grocery sector – which alters prices up to 2,000 times per day – has been accused of using ESLs to rig prices, hiking them and blaming them on pandemic supply-chain problems and loose monetary policy. Greedflation, in other words.
Greedflation is rampant in the grocery sector, all around the world. Remember when the price of eggs doubled and they blamed in on bird-flu, even as the CEO of the one company that owns every egg brand you've ever heard of boasted about how he could hike prices and suckers would just pay it?
https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/23/cant-make-an-omelet/#keep-calm-and-crack-on
In Canada, grocers rigged the price of bread, the most Les-Mis-ass form of corporate crime you can imagine (do you want guillotines, Galen Weston? Because this is how you get guillotines):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_price-fixing_in_Canada
EU grocers – another highly concentrated industry – also collude to rig prices:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/17/how-to-think-about-scraping/
Which is all to say that while these companies don't have to use the twiddling capabilities that come with ESLs to enshittify their stores, we'd be pretty fucking naive to assume that they won't.
And here's the bad news: US grocers like Whole Foods (owned by Amazon, the company that wrote the enshittification playbook) are already experimenting with ESLs. So is Alberstons/Safeway, the massive, inbred conglomerate that has already demonstrated its passion for using twiddling to fuck over their workers:
https://knock-la.com/vons-fires-delivery-drivers-prop-22-e899ee24ffd0/
Economists love "price discrimination" – where prices change based on circumstance, trying to match the perfect price with the perfect customer. On paper, that sounds plausible: if I need a quart of milk for a recipe I'm making tonight and I get a 50% discount on some about-to-expire 2%, then everyone's better off. I get a discount and the grocer gets some money for milk they'd have to throw away at the end of the day.
But these elegant, self-licking ice-cream cones only emerge if the corporation offering the deal is constrained. Perhaps they're constrained by competition – the fear that you'll go elsewhere. Or perhaps they're constrained by regulation – the fear that they'll be punished if they use twiddling-tech to cheat you.
The grocery sector, dominated by a cartel of massive companies that routinely collude to rip us off, is not constrained by competition. And for years, regulators let them get away with ripping us off (though finally that might be changing):
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/21/us/politics/grocery-prices-pandemic-ftc.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ek0.t2Pr.g4n2usbxEcoa
For neoclassical economists, the answer to all this is "caveat emptor" – let the buyer beware. If you want to make sure that ESLs are only used to offer you discounts and not to gouge prices, all you need to do is note the price of everything you buy, every time you buy it, and triple-check it every time you go back to the grocery store. Just be eternally vigilant!
Thing is, the one thing computers are much better at than humans is vigilance. With ESLs and other twiddling mechanisms, you're a fish on a hook, and the seller is tireless in giving you a little more slack, then a little less, until you finally drop your guard.
Economists desperately want these elegant models to work, but "efficient market hypothesis" is a brain-worm that always turns into apologetics for fraud. Dynamic markets sound like a good idea, but they are catnip for cheaters. "Just be eternally vigilant" is miserable advice, and no way to live your life:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
In his brilliant novel Spook Country, @GreatDismal describes augmented reality as "cyberspace everting" – that is, turning inside-out:
https://memex.craphound.com/2007/07/31/william-gibsons-spook-country/
The extrusion of twiddling technology from digital platforms into the physical world isn't cyberspace everting so much as it is cyberspace prolapsing.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags
#pluralistic#fraud apologetics#caveat emptor#twiddling#competition#groceries#price discrimination#norway#electronic shelf tags#planet money#enshittification#constraints#greedflation#efficient market hypothesis brain-worms
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(Not So) Silent Night
Spider-Man x Reader
Summary: You're called into work on Christmas Eve, but a certain web-slinger makes your job more entertaining.
A/N: just a quick xmas one shot - not edited. I didn't have a certain Spider-Man in mind so it could be read for any of them <3
Word Count: 1.5k
Finally one of your favorite nights of the year had rolled around. Christmas Eve- perfect to sit back, relax, and put on a movie. You were debating between White Christmas and Christmas Vacation when your phone rang.
Recognizing the number, you quickly picked up the call.
“Yes?” you said.
“The boss requires your services tonight,” came a voice from the other end.
“Mike, do you really think anyone is listening to this call?” you asked, mildly annoyed.
“They might!” he said defensively.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, “what’s the job?”
“He forgot a Christmas present for his wife so now he needs you to steal some stone from the Natural History Museum,” he said offhandedly.
“Mike,” you said, exasperatedly, “there are probably a shit ton of stones there. Which one?!” At this point you had sat up, there was no way you’d be able to go back to relaxing.
“Okay, okay, uh…” you shook your head when you heard papers rustling. “It’s called the Ostro stone- it’s on loan from London’s Natural History Museum.”
Quickly you pulled out your laptop and searched the name. An image of a brilliant blue gem graced your screen. It looked to be a little larger than cell phone size.
You sighed, “when does this need to be done by?”
“I need it by four, so I can get it to him by six.”
“And shall I gift wrap it?” you asked, sarcasm dripping from your words.
“Actually, if you could, that’d be gr-“ his words were cut off when you ended the call.
Sometimes you really hated being on retainer for the most notorious of New York City criminal under lords. It didn’t matter what you were in the middle of- when he called, you delivered.
But the job had its perks. One of which was the nice Central Park apartment that you currently occupied. Being on salary instead of working freelance provided a nice level of financial security. And being on the payroll for someone so infamous provided you physical security as well. No one messed with Fisk’s employees for fear of retribution.
Once you’d sufficiently researched the gem and the museum you sprang off your couch and to your closet. Pajamas weren’t suitable for working a job, and you were hoping tonight would spell out a large holiday bonus.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
When you arrived at the natural history museum, you decided to bide your time until you determined the best method of entry. If you didn’t have to climb on the roof and enter via a skylight, you wouldn't.
Luckily for you, the guards were switching, and the one who was about to go on shift smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. You knew he’d have to step out later for a cigarette break, which would provide you the perfect chance to make an exit.
“Just so you know,” the one leaving turned toward the one you were about to follow in, “Kenny’s asleep in the cams room.”
Merry Christmas to me.
“Of course he is,” the man said, chagrined. “Have a good one, Craig.” The other guard gave him a wave before walking off.
Quickly, you turned invisible and stepped into the building before the door could close behind the guard. It was this ability that had brought you success even before Fisk found you. But now that you were on his payroll, your boss asked you to use it in more creative ways. By having you spy and thieve for him, Fisk discovered precious insider information. Not to mention secrets that made for excellent blackmail fodder. He compensated you heartily for your efforts.
In comparison to the other work you did for him, this job was relatively simple. The only difficulty that came with thieving jobs was when insufferable do-gooders took it upon themselves to stop you. And for what? So that a painting could sit in a museum instead of someone’s penthouse? So that everyone could look at a precious gemstone instead of one wealthy asshole? To you, there was no difference. It’s not like anyone appreciated that sort of stuff anyway, so why not make a buck off it?
When you finally made it to the display, you took a moment to analyze. You checked for any silent alarms and, not finding any, took the opportunity to examine the display case more closely. Unfortunately, it was clear that any movement of the protective glass would trip an alarm. So would any motion within the display case, and likely any movement of the stone itself.
Grabbing your backpack from your shoulder, you reached in and dug around for the device you were looking for. Once you’d found the small box, you leaned it against the black podium that supported the gem and pressed the button on its side. It released an electric pulse that would zap the power until you turned it off.
You quickly removed the glass lid that guarded the topaz against the public and lifted the gem from its stand. Just as soon as you’d locked it into to cushioned box you brought, you heard a voice come from behind you.
“You know, committing a robbery on Christmas Eve is pretty Grinch-y of you.”
“Is that why your voice sounds like Cindy Lou Who’s?”
You turned in time to see Spider-man drop from his place on the ceiling. He landed on the floor with a quiet thud and started walking in your direction. Swiftly, you replaced the box within your bag and backed away from him.
“You really couldn’t have taken a night off?”
“I’m a working woman,” you shrugged, “I just get bad hours.”
“You just have a bad job,” the masked man said, placing his hands on his hips.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” you argued, “it has good pay, great benefits- my dental care is free, baby, free.”
Spider-Man shook his head at you, “as much as I’d like to chat, I’m gonna have to ask you to hand it over.”
“And if I refuse?” you raised a brow.
“I’ll have to take it from you.”
His words made you smirk, “I’d like to see you try.”
You managed to dodge the first few webs he shot, but he landed one on your forearm. With a snap of his wrist, he pulled you close.
“If you wanted to hold me in your arms, Spider-Man, all you had to do was ask,” you said, chest to chest with the masked hero.
Slightly embarrassed, he took a quick step back, and you took the chance to yank off the glove he’d webbed. When he realized your ploy, he took a swipe at your legs, which you swiftly jumped over.
“Woah, woah, woah, okay, time out,” you said, making a playground-style T shape with your hands as he stood. Reluctantly, he paused his oncoming attack.
“Look- I don’t want to be laid up in bed for the holidays. I have plans! I can’t be limping or have any bruises.”
“Okay, I have never given you bruises,” he protested.
“Still, I’ll make you a deal. I will give you the topaz, and we’ll both walk away and have a lovely Christmas vacation.”
“How do I know this isn’t a trick?” Spider-Man was skeptical.
“You saw me put the box in my bag, and now you’re seeing me take it out,” you said while slowly removing a box from your bag.
Slowly, you set it down and slid it over to him. He picked it up instantly and examined it.
“What’s with the padlock?”
“Safety precaution,” you assured him, “I’m gonna tell you the code and then I’m gonna go.”
“Fine- what is it?” he huffed.
“Everyone’s favorite number,” you smiled and swiftly disappeared.
Once out of sight, you grabbed the electric purse device and practically sprinted back to where you came in. To your great luck, the same security guard from earlier was stepping out for a smoke. You crept out behind him and started walking back towards your place. You sent Mike a quick text, telling him to stop by in an hour to pick it up.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Back in the museum, Spider-Man had finally tried entering 420 into the combination lock. When it released, he opened the box to find a post-it note sitting in the middle of it.
He let out a sigh when he saw the message on it.
Merry Christmas, Sucker ♡
It was scrawled under a face with its tongue sticking out. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Of course, you had two identical boxes.
“Stop thief!” he heard from behind him and whipped around to see a security guard pointing a taser at him.
“Me?”
“Yes, you! Set the jewel down and put your hands in the air!”
“Really, the nerve of some people,” he shook his head, and shot a web up to the skylight he came in through.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
When you read the Christmas Day edition of the Daily Bugle the next morning, you couldn’t help but chuckle at the headline.
Spider-Man a Scrooge!
The Masked Menace steals beloved British jewel
#spider man x reader#peter parker x reader#mcu!spiderman x reader#tam!spiderman x reader#tasm!peter parker x reader#mcu!peter x reader#spider man
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