#Best Golf Umbrella in the World

[the-really-lonely-mountain]

Along for The Ride - Part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Transported to Middle Earth, you must Join Thorin Oakenshield's Company as they travel to reclaim Erebor! OR: My take on the classic 'modern girl in Middle Earth' troupe. With this first installment, we are following the first movie of The Hobbit trilogy, and falling in love with Kili on the way! Slow burn with this one y'all, nothing spicy till the next work I'm afraid.

Tags: Kili / Reader, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Modern Character in Middle Earth, During The Hobbit, How Do I Tag, Canon-Typical Violence, Kíli Is a Little Shit (Tolkien), wrote this while I had covid, in like 4 days lol, implied soulmates, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Freeform, Holding Hands, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Thorin Oakenshield Company Members, Dwalin & Thorin Oakenshield Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Where In Middle-Earth Is Gandalf?, Hair Braiding, Dwarf Courting, My First Tumblr Fic, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fíli & Kíli & Thorin Live, Thorin Oakenshield Lives, Fíli Lives (Tolkien), Kíli Lives (Tolkien)

Word Count: 6,292

A/N: I was utterly appalled by the lack of Kili writers on here and Ao3. Y'all who write for Kili, I've been eating your crumbs like it's the shit (cause it is) for weeks, but one can't be sustained on crumbs alone so I've prepared a feast!! This is the first fic I've ever wanted to post, please be gentle. Comments, Likes, and Reblogs are loved and treasured!!

Tagging the amazing Kili writers I've been living off of for the past few weeks and who have inspired me so they might share in the feast as well lol go check out their stuff too: @mikathemonster, @cowboybeepboop, @littleenglishfangirl, @ethereal-inquisitor, @sweetpeakili

Photo credit: @immawriteyouthings

Divider credit: @cafekitsune

You were having one of those days that made you want to run away from everything. Instead, you walked on the golf course behind your house after hours; no phone, no umbrella, no bag this time, just you. You had what you could fit from your hands in your jean pockets as you walked the grassy field. Something twinkled and caught your eye on the far side of the fairway, there was a sparkle in the ferns. You walked over and began looking through the underbrush. Your hand grazed a smooth stick with a mangled end that encased a gem. You picked it up hoping for a better look but were transported to another world instead!

You appeared in the new world holding the staff. You were standing beside an older fellow with a pointy hat and long grey beard. You looked around and saw many other gruff, burly-looking men sitting in an encampment. They looked as confused as you. You did the only thing you could think of doing at that moment.

You turned around and took off running as fast as you could.

The wizard whose staff you were running away with asked the younger dwarves in his company to fetch you for him. They ran after you as quick as the wind. You dodged trees and hurdled bushes, making an all-around great effort. You were slowing down though. You stopped for a moment to catch your breath and plan. A twig snapped in the distance; quick footsteps closed in on you. You took off again. You needed a place to hide, a moment to think for God's sake. You were afforded no such luxuries. They were gaining, you were tiring. In your drained haste, you tripped on a bush which sent you stumbling and struggling to regain your footing given your momentum. You finally fell and scampered to take cover behind the roots of a great tree. Their footfalls grew slower and drew nearer. They were so close you could hear their words now.

“…She’s hiding, Fili,” one said much closer than you expected them to be.

You tried your best to steady your breathing. Your heartbeat was so loud you knew they could hear it.

“Stop scaring her Kili,” The other chastised. “You know she’s got to be scared half to death”. He walked past you, studying the ground. The other came up the other side of the tree doing the same.

You gripped the staff preparing yourself to be found. They turned in unison following the same tracks and looked up at you simultaneously. They were both panting but not as hard as you. Fili, the elder and more experienced of the two knelt where he stood a few yards from your curled trembling form.

“My name is Fili” He put his hand on his chest and motioned to the man next to him, “This is my brother Kili. We mean no harm to you.” He kept his distance and showed his empty hands. You stayed firmly pressed against the tree trunk, your chest heaving rapidly and your eyes as large as saucers. They could have tackled you, beaten you, or done any number of terrible violating things, but they kept their distance and spoke softly.

“What’s your name?” Kili asked, with a charming smile as he crouched beside his brother.

“Y/N,” you said in a shaky freaked-out tone.

“Y/N, that’s our friend wizard’s staff,” Fili said, “If anyone can figure out how you got here, he can.”

“But you gotta come back to camp with us,” Kili said reaching out his hand as a peace offering. So many horrible things could happen to you in the wild of this new world, but even more on top of that could if you didn’t go with them.

“How can I trust you?” You asked them. They looked at each other.

“How can we trust you?” Kili threw back at you with a suspicious look and recoiled his hand.

“Touche” you nodded returning his look.

“Seems we are at an impasse then,” Fili huffed at his brother, “You want to get home, and our wizard can do that. The only way that can happen is if you come with us back to our camp. We can only offer you our word and promise on our honor as dwarven princes that you will not be harmed by any in our company.”

You thought for a moment and nibbled at your lip, “You promise?” you looked up at Kili this time.

Kili looked you deep in the eyes, and very seriously said: “No harm will ever come to you, on my honor as a prince.”

You nodded at this, “Very well”, and tried to stand up but were stuck against the tree. The 2 men easily lifted you back to your feet. You followed them back to the camp.

You tried your best to hide behind Kili as you approached the wizard smoking a pipe. You peeked from around his shoulder at the other men in the camp. They were looking at you.

“Please sit, my dear,” The wizard said to you, motioning to the rest of the long log beside him “We have much to discuss.”

Your legs wouldn’t move you from behind the dwarf. You were still quite afraid.

“She seems to have taken a liking to you Kili,” the wizard said to him. The rest of the company let out a soft chuckle of agreement. You couldn’t see it from your angle, but Kili smiled and nodded.

“Sit down child, we aren’t going to hurt you,” One of the dwarves sitting across the fire said. You took a deep breath to gather your courage. One false move by any of the others would have you bolting again.

You moved from behind Kili and sat beside the wizard still clutching the staff.

“May I take that from you?” the wizard politely asked. You handed it to him. He explained how this type of thing had happened to a couple of his wizard friends before, but he didn’t know the remedy or spell to undo it or how to prevent it from happening again. You sat quietly listening and nodding. He explained to you and the rest of the company that he was leaving to travel to his friend and inquire about your predicament. In the meantime, he convinced the company and its leader, Thorin you came to know, to keep you in the company as an innocent bystander to help around the camp and whatnot till Gandalf (the wizard) could figure out what to do with you. Gandalf gave you a small sack of coins, instructing you to get a bag, a bedroll, clothes, and any other necessities you’ll need at the next town.

As the fire died down so did the company. They got out their bedrolls and sleeping gear like a synchronized unit and as quickly as they started, they were all asleep snoring softly. Kili had first watch and was sitting on the ground next to you leaning against the log you were on. You slid onto the ground next to him curled with your knees to your chest. He looked over at you. You looked over at him.

“I don’t know what to do now,” you said not hiding the waver in your voice very well, “I’m so scared.” You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You cried into your hands as quietly as possible, so you didn’t disturb and anger the others. If you had looked at Kili, you would have seen him in a slight panic and at a loss for what to do, he didn’t know how to console crying women. You sobbed into your hands knowing you just needed to let it all out then you’d be fine. Kili looked at the fire and put his hand on your back. Physical contact of any kind back home was next to nonexistent, it felt nice to know he was trying his best to comfort you. After a few minutes of uncontrollable sobbing and hiccups wracking through you, you began calming down. When you were able to breathe properly, you wiped your face even though tears kept falling. You sniffled and rested your chin on your knees letting the tears fall silently now.

“Do you feel better?” Kili guessed in a soft tone and rubbed his hand on your back.

You nodded at him, “Yes” You took a deep breath and wiped the tears from your eyes as best you could, “Thank you” You looked at him and smiled a little. He smiled and nodded too, still concerned but returned his hand to his lap. You sniffled and looked at the fire.

“Really though I don’t know what I’m doing,” you said. “I’ve never been camping before,” you paused to think. “I don’t know how to fight or use a sword or make a fire or hunt or-or—” You were working yourself up and starting to cry again. Kili cut you off before you could start sobbing hysterically again.

“WOAH! Woah!!” alarmed, he put his hand on your back again, “It’s ok. Calm down.” he said harshly, “Take a deep breath, that seemed to help last time,” He mumbled the last part under his breath. That made you smile despite yourself.

“You don’t know how to console someone, do you?” You took a deep breath and wiped your eyes. He shook his head and took his hand from you. “Seems we’re both out of our depth then,” you said making the mood a bit lighter.

“In my defense, I was raised in a pack of manly men,” He smiled fondly “It’s a wonder my mother got through to me at all.”

“So, you do have a mother,” you said, making him look at you quizzically “I assumed you were raised by wolves,” You shrugged. He laughed and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re not completely wrong about that,” He smiled, looking over at the men across the fire. There was a momentary silence. “We’ll teach you those things, how to fight, how to make a fire, all that,” He looked over at you, “I mean who knows how long Gandalf will be, and you’d have to be pretty stupid not to pick up a thing or two even from this bunch.” You smiled and nodded; this calmed your nerves a little. A moment of silence fell between you again.

“Is it ok if I stay up with you?” you innocently asked, “I’m not very tired.”

“Sure,” he said casually, “May I ask about your life back in your world?”

“OK,” You nodded.

“What do you do?” he asked, you gave him a weird look. “Like for a living, how do you make money, how do you spend your days?”

“I’m a student at university at the moment.” He looked at you confused this time. “I spend my days studying at a desk, it’s boring and dull” You quickly summed up.

“Ooohh,” He said, “No wonder you couldn’t run for shit,” He laughed.

You scoffed, “So rude,” You huffed, failing to hide your smile. He was glad you were cheering up a bit.

“If it’s so boring and dull, why don’t you do something else?” He asked, naive to your world and its ways.

“It’s…complicated” you sighed “I have to study to do what I want to do for work even though I don’t want to work or study or do any of that, but I have to make money somehow because I need money to do stuff and buy things because the world I live in is shitty that way and it’s so frustrating sometimes,” you gritted your teeth to make your point.

“Well, what do you want to do then?” he asked, trying to understand your strange world.

“Sit on the beach,” You said without hesitation “…Listen to the waves…sleep on a blanket in the sun,” you sighed wistfully. “Die happy and rich.”

“That does sound nice” He agreed “I’ve never seen a tropical ocean before, the seas near the Blue Mountains are all frozen over.”

“Surely there’s a beach somewhere in this world,” You refused to believe the universe sent you to a world without a beach.

“There is! I’ve heard stories of Southern Gondor, where the sun makes the sand hotter than forges, and the water falls over the horizon in every direction.”

“That sounds like the beaches from back home,” You felt a little bad for him. You’d been practically raised at the beach because it was the only free thing to do in your hometown.

“May I ask a question?” you asked this time.

“Of course,” He shifted to lean against the log and face you.

“What are you guys doing?” you gestured to the camp around you.

“We are on a quest!” He said proudly, “A quest to take back our ancestral home from the dread dragon Smaug,” he said in a sinister voice. He explained about Erebor and the dragon and Thorin to catch you up. You listened, nodded, and took it all in, asking questions and giggling at his jokes. He was a decent storyteller.

“And I’m just along for the ride I guess,” you said deflated about your role in all this.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re quite good company,” He indulged; Kili always got so lonely on watch.

“Yay!” you said over a yawn, “I’d hate to bore any of you,” you replied, genuinely fearing your stories may never measure up to theirs. You leaned over and laid on the soft grass, curled in a ball with your arm as a pillow. You tried not to shiver from the cool evening breeze. You heard some shuffling of fabric, and then a blanket fluttered on top of you. You looked at Kili who smiled and said: “I’m quite the furnace at night, I’ll be fine without it,” he reassured.

“Thank you,” you said over another yawn. You didn’t expect to fall asleep but the next thing you knew it was early morning and you were awoken by the clanging of pots and spoons. You sat up and looked around to get your bearings.

‘Still in the same strange world’ you thought not fully awake. Kili appeared, greeted you good morning, and handed you a bowl of white goo he called porridge. You thanked him and ate your breakfast in silence like the rest of the company. While the men packed up the camp you were tasked with washing the dishes in a nearby stream. You were struck by the beauty of the incredible woods around you even in the dim morning light. You returned to camp and put the dishes in their bag, which was taken by one of your new companions. You felt out of place without a task among everyone who knew what to do. Balin saw you standing in the middle of the camp looking lost. He asked Thorin what they were to do about their lack of an extra pony for you. They decided you could ride with Kili seeing as he was the lightest (next to Bilbo) and his pony could take the weight and because you seemed the most comfortable with him. The old dwarf with a white-grey beard curled up at the ends approached you with as much of a nonthreatening air as he could muster.

“Good morning, my dear!” He greeted you with a chipper smile. “My name is Balin”

“Good morning,” you replied. “I don't quite know what I’m to be doing,” you said sheepishly.

“That’s ok lass, it’ll come with time,” he reassured, “For now, you’ll ride with Kili so you can see if he needs help getting ready.”

“Ok,” You nodded and started walking in Kili’s direction. You stopped in front of his pony and petted its nose and down its neck. “I’ve been told that I’m to ride with you,” you said timidly looking at him adjust his saddle. Kili looked at you and nodded.

“I’ll be happy to have a lovely conversation again” He smiled and looked back at his saddle, making the final arrangements.

He turned to you and said, “I’ll give you a leg up,” And jabbed a thumb at his pony. You nodded and approached the animal. You put your hands on the ponies back and bent your leg waiting for him to help. He leaned forward so he could whisper in your ear: “Wrong leg”. You blushed quite profusely at that and switched legs. He heaved you with such strength he nearly threw you over the other side of the pony. You made yourself comfortable behind the saddle before he hooked his foot in the stirrup and carefully mounted so he didn’t knock you off.

“You ok?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Yep!” you smiled. He nodded. You were excited to see new lands even though you feared what they harbored.

“If you need to hold on to me when we get going you can,” he said, making you both blush despite yourselves.

A few moments later Thorin called out: “Company ready?” in a deep booming voice, “Aye!” They all replied in unison. “Company, move out!” He bellowed and urged his pony forward. The rest followed behind him one by one. When your animal lurched forward you grabbed Kili's waist for dear life. The company was silent till they got to the end of the forest. You had your cheek pressed against Kili’s shoulder and your chest against his back. The fur of his coat was very soft against your face as you turned your head to look over his other shoulder. You yawned but didn’t realize you did it right next to his ear and breathed down his neck. He determinedly kept his eyes on the pony ahead of him to keep the blush rising in his chest at bay.

“You can take a nap if you need to,” he said over his shoulder in a soft voice for only you to hear.

“That sounds like a good idea,” You yawned again. You buried your face in the soft spare fabric of the hood on his back and cuddled closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and sleep swiftly took you. He knew this because he could feel your breathing slow on the back of his neck. He was happy you could sleep and couldn’t help his smile. You shifted now and then, turning your head one way then a while later turning it the other. Kili tried not to talk or move too much in fear of waking your delicate slumber. By midday, you felt very well rested. You took a deep breath and released your grasp on Kili to stretch your arms above your head, arching your back to wake yourself up. You quickly slipped your arms around him again, so you didn’t fall.

“Good morning!” He chirped, “Well afternoon really,” he corrected with a smile, “Sleep well?”

“Mhm,” You hummed against his shoulder “I haven’t slept that well in a long time,” you said thinking back on the restless weeks before your arrival in Middle Earth.

“Good,” He nodded. “Happy I could be of service.”

“Yes, you make quite the comfortable bed,” you replied.

An easy silence settled between you for a while. You contentedly watched the landscape pass by while he kept the pony on the path.

“What’s a good weapon for a beginner?” You asked knowing you needed to start wrapping your head around the fact that you could be stuck here forever and needed to protect yourself. He thought about that for a few moments.

“I’d have to say a bow,” He shrugged, “I don’t know honestly, lemme ask Fili,” he kicked up his pony to walk faster to be next to his brother. “What is the best weapon for a beginner?” He asked him. Fili glanced at you and thought for a moment.

“Hmm I think a sword would be easiest,” He replied, contradicting his brother.

“A sword?!” Kili said incredulously “No that’s one of the harder ones,” He swatted his hand as if to swipe the words from the air.

Fili scoffed “For you maybe,” he said barely keeping his teasing smile under control “But not to the rest of us, my weapon-challenged brother.” That made you giggle. Kili huffed and pulled his horse back, so he wasn’t beside his brother anymore.

“Are you that bad with a sword?” you asked, trying not to laugh too much.

“No!” he exclaimed, “I’m just better with a bow and arrows,” he pouted.

‘Awe he’s so cute when he pouts’ Your thought took you by surprise.

“Perhaps you can teach me, Archer,” Your voice was lower than you intended, making you both blush. Your breath ghosted over his ear making him shiver just a little. He turned his head to look at you over his shoulder, his face so close to yours. He looked at your lips then deep into your eyes holding eye contact.

“Maybe I will,” he said in a deep gruff whisper that made you gasp and goosebumps rush over your skin. He turned back and smiled; proud he could get a rise out of you. You huffed and distanced yourself from him by leaning back, needing the space to calm down.

As night drew closer, Thorin led the company to the edge of a forest and found a shallow cave, more like a cliff overhang to make camp for the night. He told Fili and Kili to take care of the ponies and Oin and Gloin to make the fire. After the meals had been handed out Thorin told you to take Fili and Kili a bowl. You walked through the forest and found them looking at a downed tree in panicked awe.

“Something took 4 of the ponies,” Fili said to you, hoping you’d have the answer to their predicament.

“Yes, and…” you nodded at them trying not to panic yourself “What are you going to do about it since it’s your problem?”

The brothers decided to see what took the ponies and if they could handle it themselves, no need to worry Thorin, right? You followed them as they tracked the pony-nappers. Kili hid behind a tree and peeked around, you hid behind him and peeked over his shoulder. 3 large trolls were something to worry about, and a sight that made that dreadful feeling drop from your chest into your stomach. Your grip on Kili’s coat tightened.

He turned to you and said in barely a whisper, “Go back to camp and tell Thorin”.

Fili was immediately against it, huffing and puffing from behind his tree. Kili shrugged and motioned with hands as if to say, ‘What else would you have us do?!’ Fili huffed again and snuck around the tree. He tried to cut the rope fence with his sword, but he took too long. The trolls caught him. They were deciding ways to eat him when Kili looked at you in alarm and told you to go back to camp. You ran as fast as you could.

“Ponies! Big grey troll things took the ponies!” You said out of breath pointing the way you just came “Fili…in…danger”. Thorin cursed in dwarfish and rallied the company. Balin told you to keep your distance, so you didn’t get caught in the fight.

The dwarves fought bravely but were captured. Bilbo bid for more time while you thought of a plan. You heard the trolls complain about daylight coming and that gave you an idea. You saw the trolls had made camp in the shade cast by a large boulder. You wedged a branch under the rock and used the leverage to try to roll it. It was very heavy, and you were not. It took everything in your power to push the branch to roll the boulder down the ditch edge it rested on. The trolls were washed in sunlight, turning them to stone and freeing the company. They cheered when you stepped over the branch and into the clearing. You helped them from their confines and smiled and blushed when they praised your good job.

Back at camp the company gathered their things and discussed what to do now. Fili suddenly hushed the company.

“Warg howls in the distance,” He whispered to Thorin “They are coming!”

“RUN!” Thorin yelled at the company. Following Thorin everyone started running. You all ran as fast as you could onto a hilly plane sprinkled with trees and boulders. You ran and ran till the Wargs finally caught up. They began to encircle you. The company fought the beasts, taking them down as still more came at them. You went to hide behind the rock formation but fell into it instead. You climbed out as the Wargs were closing in.

“Down here!” you called “There’s a passage this way!” you slid down to make room for the others. Thorin was the last one, as he slid down a horn was blown near the entrance to the passage.

“I can’t see where it leads, do we follow?” One of the dwarves asked.

“Yes! We follow!” Thorin barged through the dwarves and led the company through the narrow pass. You all walked for a few minutes, but then Thorin rounded a corner and slowed as he realized where he’d unwittingly led the company. The rest kept walking around him, but Bilbo stopped and said in admiration: “Rivendell”. You stopped as well to take in the view before you. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. A small town on the side of a mountain with water flowing from beneath some of the glittering structures.

As Thorin led the company over a bridge, you grabbed Kili’s arm to steady yourself as you looked around and took in the ornate statues and architecture of the front steps of a large building. A man much taller than you or the dwarves approached the group.

“We would like to speak to Lord Elrond,” Thorin said through gritted teeth. He was swallowing his pride for the betterment of the quest, that much was clear through his clenched fists and tense shoulders.

“Lord Elrond isn’t here,” The elf said regretfully.

“Then where is he?” Thorin’s patience was growing thin. A horn was sounded on the other side of the bridge you’d just crossed. Everyone turned to see a group of horses galloping towards them. The dwarves began shouting in dwarfish and closing ranks with their weapons ready for battle. You were pushed into the very center of the circle as tall horses and riders circled you. They stopped suddenly and the one on a black horse dismounted.

“My Lord Elrond,” The elf who first approached you said with a bow.

“Lindir” Elrond bowed his head at him then turned to the leader of your group, “Welcome Thorin son of Thrain,” He looked over the dwarf “You have your grandfather's bearings.”

“I’m afraid I know you only from the stories my grandfather told me,” Thorin was doing his best to be polite. (You were later informed that the stories were mostly about him being a ninny.)

“I’d like to offer you and your company a taste of our elfish hospitality,” Elrond said with a warm smile.

“Does that mean we’ll eat?!” Bombur called from the back. The company chuckled at him.

“Yes Bombur, that means we’ll eat” Dori replied. The company cheered at the prospect of a full belly and a warm hearth.

Not long after, you were sat next to Bilbo and Kili at a large table. The salad appetizers were very good despite the dwarves not liking green food very much. You giggled at their jokes about how bad the music was or how they wanted chips and meat. Thorin was sat at another table across from Elrond discussing something you couldn’t hear, but you could tell it pained Thorin to be in the other man's presence.

You turned to Kili beside you. “Thorin looks constipated,” you said in a low voice barely containing your laughter “He can’t even pretend to be enjoying this”. Kili looked over at his uncle and laughed with you.

When the meals were served there was boisterous laughter and general dwarfish shenanigans, the usual at any merry dwarfish gathering. Bilbo looked like he was having PTSD from when they were doing the same at his house at the beginning of the quest. At the end of the meal, Thorin and Balin disappeared with Elrond to discuss a map. You asked Kili if he would escort you to the markets with as much innocent girlish need as you could muster to solidify your security. He agreed and walked with you through the corridors and to the market. He helped you get a fair price on a bag, a blanket, and a bedroll. The next thing you needed was clothes to blend in.

“What do the women around here wear exactly?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“It depends, I guess” He had his hands shoved in his pockets as he followed you around the clothing stalls like a puppy.

“Gee, that’s a big help.” You teased.

After some more wandering you found a stall selling clothes that looked your size. You purchased a dark blue form-fitting tunic that stopped above your knees and had slits on the sides that went up to your hips. It paired very nicely with the brown pants and brown coat with dark blue highlights you bought as well. Kili helped barter with the merchants since you didn’t know the fair price of things here. In another section of the market, you bought spools of black, blue, and pink thread. You put your belongings in your new bag.

“Are we done?” Kili asked, sounding slightly annoyed. He was ready to go back to the others and be away from so many elves. You sighed and rolled your eyes playfully and nodded. He led you through the busy crowded markets by holding your hand. You were thankful he was in front of you so he couldn’t see your blush. You made it back to the group, who had set up camp in a courtyard garden at the end of a hallway. Just as you arrived two female and two male elves came down the hallway.

One of the males stepped forward, “The bathhouse is ready for you now” he said to the group.

“Bath?! We don’t need no stinkin’ bath!” Exclaimed a dwarf from behind the fire. The rest heartily agreed, not ready to drop their pants on elvish soil it seemed.

“I’d like a bath” you timidly said, not wanting to make a fuss but very much wanting to be clean.

“Very good mistress dwarf, if you’ll follow us,” one of the female elves said. You were tense as you followed the four elves down the corridor, not sure what you were doing.

“You best go with her lad,” Dori said to Kili, “You never know what an elf might try to pull.” He glared at the back of the elves as they walked away. Kili nodded and ran after you.

“Y/N!” He called making you and the elves stop.

“Oh, change your mind, Kili?” You asked with an innocent smile, happy to have his company.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He smiled too.

You were led to a large door that opened into a covered hot spring that flowed over the balcony to create an assumably gorgeous waterfall. Columns lined the outer edge of the room which was split down the middle by a cloth partition. The male elves walked to one side of the divider with Kili in tow, while the females walked to the other. The elves asked that you wash under the heated shower of water off to the side before entering the hot springs. They left you to your own devices.

“I’ve never seen anything like this have you?” You asked Kili across the large room.

“No” He smiled at the wonder in your voice from seeing new things and making discoveries. He thought it was very cute.

You placed your bag and new clothes on the vanity in the corner. You undressed and stepped under the warm shower. You used the bar of soap you found to wash your hair and body. It was the best-smelling soap you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

“Hey, Kee?” You hollered.

“Yeah?” He yelled back.

“Do you plan on keeping your soap?”

“No…Why?”

“I’ll take it then. I’ll need extra anyway,” And you were so happy you did. That soap made your hair silky smooth and stronger than ever. You rinsed the suds away then stepped into the hot springs.

It felt luxurious. You couldn’t help but moan a little as the heat pulled every knot and tense muscle from you. Relaxed, you floated in the steamy water.

“You still there Kili?” you asked suddenly nervous he’d left you.

“Yeah, I’m here” He replied, “We shouldn’t take too much longer though, Thorin could be back any minute and who knows what kind of a mood he’ll be in.”

That made you enjoy the bath a little faster. Not long after you began drying off and getting dressed. You took the hairbrush and beads and other miscellaneous hair trinkets that were on the vanity. You looked in the mirror at your new outfit. It fit as you thought, though a little snugger in some places than others, hugging your curves to allow for movement yet still baggy for breathability and insulation. Overall, a nice ensemble.

“Ready Y/N?” Kili asked from across the partition.

“Yeah, you can come over, I’m just packing my things.” You replied, folding your old clothes, and putting them in your bag with the rest of your things.

“Here’s the soap” He handed it to you.

“Thanks!” You smiled at him; you simply wrote his flushed cheeks off to the hot water. When you stood, he was able to get a much better look at you in your new clothes.

“A perfect fit I see” He smiled, looking you up and down. He couldn’t help but imagine what you’d look like wearing nothing but his tunic. A line of thought he blushed at and quickly willed away.

“Does it look alright? I don’t know how it’s supposed to fit” You fussed with the hems and the folds trying to make them lay better. He grabbed your hand to make you stop fidgeting.

“You look great,” he said with a genuine smile. You smiled and nodded your appreciation.

You walked back to camp, making moneyless bets on what mood Thorin would be in when he returned.

As you approached Fili saw you in your new outfit and said, “Well look at this…” Making the rest of the company look at you too, “Our wee lass looks like a bona fide middle earther now!” They cheered at your near-complete indoctrination.

“Now she just needs to learn how to fight like one.” Bofur quipped from beside the fire.

“Then I wouldn’t need any of you to protect me!” You put the back of your hand to your forehead feigning a damsel in distress, making the company laugh. You sat on the ground beside the long chair Kili was now examining his weapons in and leaned against it. You held out a stone fish figurine to him.

“As a thank you for helping me” you cleared your throat “…And for being my friend.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, but you knew he was smiling a little around his reed pipe. He took it from your open hands. You know it wasn’t much but it’s all you could offer.

“Maybe one day you can return it to the ocean,” you said, referring to your previous conversation.

“Maybe I will,” he smiled down at you with genuine fondness.

“Bombur!” Bofur called before throwing a sausage to his cousin. The table, which took skilled elfin craftsman months, even years to craft and carve out of solid wood, collapsed under the massive weight of Bombur. Everyone erupted in laughter, it was nice to be part of the group and share in the merriment.

~~

Thorin stopped Balin on their way back to the camp, “We should leave her here,” He said, “She is a liability.”

Balin had a terrible sinking feeling in his round tummy when he thought of splitting you up.

“So what if she is, Thorin?” Balin said near pleading. “Have you ever seen your nephew that happy or open with a girl that quick before? I’ve never seen the lad so engaged in a conversation that didn’t have to do with weapons before last night. So what if she dies on our quest, at least we gave them a chance to happen, and if fate finds their pairing favorable it will all work out!” Balin was desperate to keep you and the young prince together if only to keep the sinking feeling at bay.

Thorin huffed, “Very well, but her blood is not on my hands,” He walked away and into the camp.

~~

Thorin and Balin returned, and the tone became slightly more serious—slightly. The company settled and laid their bedrolls in the grassy parts of the garden. You laid yours out as well and prepped for sleep by removing your shoes and coat. The night was warm enough that your blanket would suffice. You looked up at the stars wondering if any of the constellations were the same as back home. You cuddled your coat to your chest relishing the feel of the soft fabric. The low conversation between Fili and Kili, while they sat on watch across the fire, lulled you to sleep.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[casualaruanienjoyer]

What would AoT characters do on a cruise? It can be like on the actual ship or whenever it stops at an island!

Hello! Thank you for this very fun ask!!!

What would these AOT characters do on a cruise?

Armin: this man has maps, notes, routes planed and worst of all....socks and sandals. Yes, you heard that, Armin is a complete nerd for traveling and he takes sightseeing to the extreme. He has a list of everything he wants to see for every stop of the cruise!

Annie: you'll always find her relaxing under an umbrella, by the pool. Sunglasses on, headphones on, reading a book or maybe practicing some writing herself. Absolute peace and quiet. She does indulge in Armin's travels but not for every stop. She's not as insane as him.

Jean: well of course this guy would be by the pool in the evenings, flexing his muscles left and right, trying to grab anyone's attention. He's hot and he knows it! But he's never been a good drinker so more often than not he ends up being a mess after a few cocktails. Pieck or Reiner usually have to take him back to his room.

Reiner: why did he agree to come here? His sea sickness is driving him mad. He's ok one moment and nauseous the next. They are here for a week but it certainly feels like an eternity to him.

Levi: This man spends most of the time in the casino. His absolute poker face is very hard to read, and luck seems to be on his side. He certainly leaves with lots more money than he got on the ship with.

Hange: she's been pestering crew members ever since she got here. How does this boat work?? Why does it float?? Can she drive it?? And she's so incredibly persistent that she eventually gets offered a tour of the captain's cabin. She's over the moon!

Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco: these guys somehow got stuck in the world's longest game of bingo. It's them and a heard of old ladies all competing against eachother. The prize: a waffle maker.

Eren: he's been trying all the fun activities on the cruise: water slides, ziplines, mini golf. EVERYTHING. And now he's so incredibly bored.

Yelena: well, her plan was to use this cruise as a disguise for her nefarious plan: get off the boat and steal valuable local artefacts. However, the plan took a weird turn when she got discovered by a secret agent. He's incredibly alluring, she admits.

Zeke: with Yelena now detected, he has to keep her busy. Make sure she doesn't escape. He wishes he could spend all day indulging in the various buffets on board but instead they somehow end up making out in his cabin. Uh oh!

Sasha: she's trying her best to keep her cool. But boats are not her favorite. For one, she can't swim, but thankfully they offer free lessons in the kiddy pool. Nothing can go wrong... right??

Connie: the only way he could afford to be on this ship was through work, and thankfully he's an amazing swimmer. As a lifeguard his main job is to make sure that no one drawns in the pool. How hard can it b- SASHA!

Mikasa: she's working as one of the bar staff by the pool. Spends most of the cruise trying to get Eren's attention but she fails miserably every time. Not even her swimsuit gets Eren's attention, but it gets EVERYONE else's. Jean almost has a stroke and even Annie can't help but steal a peek.

Pieck: she's also part of the staff, but unlike Connie and Mikasa, she's an entertainer. A singer, a dancer, a bit of everything really. She's the star of the adult only shows. The audience loves her!

[7association-was-here]

//The ultimate Seven blog “#Lore?” timeline list (from oldest to latest). Posts marked with “bonus” aren’t necessarily important to the main plot but have additional information in them or just silly mini-arcs and interactions.

//Also I couldn’t get every little mini arc in here since scrolling through about 100+ posts and nitpicking them is tricky without accidentally missing one or two, so apologies if I missed a few sillies or infos here and there.

The First Hunt arc

Seven’s Tumblr Debut

L.O.L (bonus)

Cookies

Cookies part 2

Cookies part 3

Cookies part 4

SnakeHead’s ask Debut

SnakeHead’s ask Debut part 2

The Dessert Agents Debut

The Dessert Agents cheesecake incident

Faust’s Encounter

Heathcliff’s Encounter

SnakeHead’s tip

Workshop Murder

Jinx (bonus)

Heathcliffs?

Heathcliffs? part 2

Clock friend (bonus) (technically)

Clock friend learns of tumblr (bonus)

Clock puppy (bonus)

Clock puppy part 2 (bonus)

Durante Buttercream Sigye the 10th (bonus)

Heathcliff’s report

Catfished

Gal-pals (bonus)

Heathcliff update

Best boi blog Debut?? (bonus)

Golf Cart unlocked

Durante status (bonus)

On the way

A big oopsies

The First Hunt

Random Interval Moment

Mirror identities (bonus)

Thoughts (bonus)

Clock conundrum (bonus)

Clock conundrum part 2 kind of (bonus)

The R.B. (bonus)

S.A.D. (bonus)

S.A.D. part 2 kind of (bonus)

That one with the isopods (bonus)

That one with the isopods part 2 (bonus)

That one with the isopods part 3 (bonus)

That one with the isopods part 4 (bonus)

That one with the isopods part 5 (bonus)

That one with the isopods part 6 (bonus)

Raccoons VS. Isopods (bonus)

Current arc

Instagram Grandma’s Debut

“Why are workshop owners getting killed?”

Normal prescript outing

Normal mailbox delivery

Normal cat

Do not contact the normal cat

SnakeHead’s blog Debut

The beach cruise episode

Outis’ first report

Coincidence?

Exchange

Umbrellas?

Beginning of a war (bonus)

War initiated (bonus)

Hostage (bonus)

Hostage part 2 (bonus)

The End of the war..? (or is it) (bonus)

Just a silly guy, whimsical even

Number 111

Walking adventure

Walking adventure gone wrong

H.R.B.M, or Birds of a feather

Whistleblower

Walking adventure conclusion

All aboard the Pequod

Yellow flowers?

Indecisive clues (bonus)

Strange encounter (bonus)

Bird friend (bonus)

Back on track

Inquiry (bonus)

That sounds bad

Chicken wing detour

Fox Hunt

Catherine

Words from another world (bonus)

Another expedition

Expedition complete

“Yaoi revenge”

Whistleblower returns

Whistleblower returns part 2

A very bad feeling

”Don’t eat those! Oops!”

Boat shenanigans

The end of the cruise episode

[autisticsupervillain]

It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

Agent 47 vs Bell!

Conditions:

Both sides have their entire canonical arsenals. Agent 47 does not have his Easter Egg feats and Bell has no scaling from COD Zombies.

Scenario:

After the United States declassifies Operation Greenlight, the program in which they hid nuclear bombs in every major European city in the world to detonate on the off chance any of them fell to Communism, the International community is outraged. They give Agent 47 a luxurious extended contract, as well as a blank check, to assassinate everyone who was involved in the project that's still alive to send the message not to do this again. Bell, who had retired to a beachside mansion in Florida after somehow surviving the ending of Cold War, notices several of their old colleagues dying in mysterious accidents and gears up to take on whoever's going after them.

Analysis: Agent 47

"Names are for friends, so I don't need one."

One day, the International Contract Agency found a mysterious man knocking on their front door. The man had no name, no history, and seemingly no personality. All he had was a remarkable gift for murder, as if he were the grim reaper himself. He said he went by 47. It wasn't a name, so he made it one. He became the ICA's greatest assassin and paved a legacy of death everywhere he went.

In truth, Agent 47 was a clone, created by Dr. Ortmyer in an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin. Unfortunately for Ortmyer, he succeeded. 47 killed his pseudo father, and struck out on his own. Left directionless by the revelation of his birth, 47 attempted to start a normal life for himself. Unfortunately, he found that his only talents were in killing people. So, he decided to he was going to be the best there ever was at it. He would kill the most powerful people in the world for the right price and prove that no one, no matter how powerful, was above consequences.

Agent 47 is a master of stealth and disguise unlike any other. He's considered a myth to law enforcement agencies all around the world and has repeatedly killed people with the same level of mythic status as himself. Those who do know he exists would much rather hire him than make him their enemy. A smart move considering he tears down international conspiracies on a weekly basis.

Agent 47 is quiet the Renaissance Man, even rivaling Mario for the title. He's more than capable of doing nearly any job on the planet and is capable of using anything as a weapon. He can knock grown, fully armoured men out cold with snowballs and feather dusters. He can kill people with umbrellas, pencils, and pens. He can even use fire extinguishers as improvised grenades. An Agent 47 armed with only his garrote wire, silver baller pistol, and coins is best considered fully armed and dangerous, but he's capable of using much more. When even his standard, silenced Silverballer pistols are strong enough to kill elephants in one shot, you know he's a walking armory. Shotguns, SMGs, sniper rifles, and more. If 47 doesn't have them at home, he can buy them off of his arms dealers. And that's not even counting his truly ridiculous weapons, such as a briefcase that homes in on anyone he throws it at and goes through anything in its path, a variety of grenades and explosives disguised as rubber ducks, toys, or golf balls, and a whole host poisons he can inject, spray, or poison your drink with, ranging from emetic rat poison to make you vomit, sleeping drugs to knock you out cold, or traditional poisons that can enduce heart attacks or shut down your brain. Whether he's bringing it from home, finding it on sight, or making his weapons out of whatever he's found lying around, 47 always has countless weapons close to hand and he can kill you in at least five different ways with each.

Similarly, 47 is smart enough to competently perform any job on Earth, even frequently imitating and impressing experts in his field. Butlers, Doctors, DJs, CEOs, Engineers, and so on and so forth. He has successfully disguised himself as close loved ones of his targets and is fluent enough in most languages to pass himself off as a native speaker. This vast array of knowledge allows him to improvise countless ways to kill his targets. From drowning you in a toilet, tricking your bodyguards into killing you, manipulating your wife into pushing you off a bridge, driving you to grief stricken suicide, or even running you over with a goddamn train, if there's a way to kill someone, he's thought of it and performed it with no one any the wiser.

On top of his superhuman intellect, 47 is superhuman physically as well. He can survive exposure to the freezing cold temperatures of the Carpathian mountains while mostly naked, is immune to nearly every poison and disease known to man (baring few exceptions) has survived being electrocuted while standing in water (albiet was knocked out by this), tanked a hit from an RPG-7 (which explode with a minimum energy of 3,600 kilojoules) and has a resistance to mind control so great that the person trying to mind control him died from the sheer backlash. It has even been noted by an implied psychic (who was clairvoyant enough to deduce a client's criminal history) that 47 has an aura of death looming around him that strikes terror into anyone capable of seeing it. And since 47 doesn't physically age, he will never grow out of his prime. As such, he's still kicking ass well into 59, easily outperforming men half his age.

Agent 47 also has the Instinct ability, a sixth sense that allows him to see through walls and can predict where his targets are going.

47 has snuck into the White House undetected, frequently dismantles international conspiracies and secret societies, and is strong and skilled enough to defeat a middleweight MMA World Champion in only three blows. He even bested Sanchez, a genetically engineered superhuman who was twice his size, in unarmed combat.

If 47 has any weaknesses at all, it's that he rarely makes an emotional connections with anyone. The trauma of his ruthless upbringing has left him emotionally distant and he struggles to emotionally connect with others. Those he does care about he will do anything to protect, even against suicidal odds. Similarly, he has repressed many of the memories of his childhood, partly due to trauma and partly due to mindwiping drugs, and he frequently questions his place in the universe due to his upbringing. 47 doesn't think he's capable of committing to any line of work that doesn't involve murder, without hurting the few people he holds dear.

Agent 47 was an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin and he was a complete success. Unfortunately for his creators, he was still human. This meant that they were the first in a long list of people to discover just how well they'd succeeded.

Analysis: Bell

The year is 1981. The Cold War rages on. Even with both the United States and the Soviet Union staring down economic crises, both hover over the nuclear button waiting for the other to blink. The fate of billions lay in the hubris of empires.

It is in the midst of this chaos, American black ops operative Russell Adler, known and feared as "America's Monster", stumbles across the master plan of the mythical Russian spy Purseus. Supposedly the spy that leaked the Manhattan Project, though until now, he was considered nothing more than an urban legend. The reveal that the agent was involved the Iranian Hostage Crisis and seemingly had bigger plans on a global scale, was enough to put the United States on high alert. President Reagan authorized Adler to take Purseus down by any means necessary, treaties and international laws be damned. This gave Adler the green light to concoct a particularly devious plan.

Abducting one of Purseus's top agents, Adler subjected them to the United States's experimental mind control program. He tore apart their old personality and rebuilt them from the ground up, creating new memories for them to recontextualize the vital knowledge they already had. They weren't a co-conspirator in Purseus's plans, they were sn American agent who decoded them. They weren't a Soviet operative, they were MI6, no CIA, no ex-KGB. Whatever Adler needed them to be for his current narrative and operation. Their old self was gone, rebuilt and replaced with a codename. Bell. And they had a job to do.

They could still be nonbinary though. Adler didn't care about that. He may be America's Monster, but he's not transphobic. Diversity win?

As amoral as the action was, Bell proved to be worth the risk. They're highly trained in weapons from all over the globe of the Cold War era, including those which technically shouldn't even exist yet. For close range combat and stealth operations, they carry knives, throwing knives, smoke grenades, stun grenades, M67 grenades, tomahawks, and even C4. But for full on gun battles, they come decked out with a variety of rifles, machine guns, and pistols. From the tranquilizer gun when stealth is of the essence, to the glorious and iconic SPAS 12 shotgun. Oh, sorry, the "Gallo SA12". It's a SPAS 12 guys. The trusty recursive bow and "Pellington" (*cough* R700 *cough cough*) sniper rifles make silenced sniping a breeze, while the War Machine and Thumper Grenade Launchers helpfully obliterate everything in their path. And for everything in between, the MP5 and AK-47 submachine guns and automatics shred through dirty communists and filthy capitalists alike.

Bell possesses a remarkable intellect beneath all that firepower too. They're smart enough to track Purseus's best agents across the globe, covert enough to infiltrate the KGB Headquarters in the heart of Moscow, and deadly enough to kill everyone there should their cover be blown and leave no witnesses. The sheer fact that they can get away with half of what they do without causing World War 3 is a testament to their skill and lethality. Hell, the whole reason Adler mind controlled them was because traditional interrogation techniques just wouldn't work on the bastard. And with a willpower like Bell's even that only gets you so far...

As Purseus's plan unraveled, more dark secrets about both sides were revealed. The United States had secretly inserted nuclear weapons inside of allied nations "just in case" they needed to be detonated, and Purseus was planning to activate them to turn the world against the US. Cornered and desperate, Adler had no choice but to dive even further into Bell's mind... inadvertently allowing them to break free of their control in the process.

Bell had seen the worst sides of both halves of the Cold War. Seen that both were perfectly happy to kill billions for their own benefit. The Cold War wasn't a war of ideology, it was two dying empires using foreign nations as a chess board to stroke their ego. And now Bell, fully themselves again, had to choose which one would decide the fate of history.

Should Bell choose to rejoin their Soviet Allies, they'll get the rare pleasure of facing the legendary Alex Mason in combat. The one who fought his way out of a gulag with just a rusty handgun. The one who, when under Soviet mind control, assassinated John F Kennedy. And they would have the even rarer pleasure of killing him.

Early in that very game, Mason would survive an aircraft wing falling right on top of him and get up completely unharmed. A 48,000 kg aircraft wing falling from a height of 48 meters would hit with a force of roughly 1,686 kilojoules. And Bell could still kill him.

Of course, the cost of that honor would be allowing Purseus to kill billions. Would it be worth it? Which of these rotting empires deserves the world on a string? And which is the least likely to have Bell killed once the choice is made?

Throwdown Breakdown:

The AroAce assassin the kills capitalists for a living vs the nonbinary communist who started world war three. If these two black ops operatives offering their handlers plausible deniability met in one-on-one combat, who would win?

In terms of weaponry, these characters run broadly even when it comes to their standard firearms. While 47's weapons are technically more advanced due to coming from the modern day, a gun is a gun and neither of these fighters are bullet proof. Bell has the advantage of usually coming into a fight dressed for combat with typical military grade protective clothing, while 47 enters situations dressed in his typical suit, but I'd argue that difference is minimal too. 47 has consistently proven that his firearms can pierce standard bullet proof vests and military gear quite easily if needed, and while Call of Duty is unrealistic, it doesn't present its setting's military gear as completely impenetrable to bullets. Far from it, actually.

The real deciding factor here is 47's other gadgets. While Bell's guns can sometimes be anachronistic and unrealistically advanced for the time period, 47's stranger tools border on Bond weapons compared to their relatively grounded arsenal. The homing intangible briefcase is something Bell has no answer for, while 47's variety of poisons attack from a vector Bell has no resistance to. Meanwhile, 47's built in immunity to most poisons makes Bell's tranquilizers nearly useless and 47 has more means of getting sleep inducers into his enemy's system, from gases from a distance, to injections in melee.

On the other hand, overtly powerful explosives are a rarity in 47's arsenal, making the destructive capacity of Bell's grenades and rockets an advantage. If 47 wants to match thr destructive capacity of his opponent, he's going to need to get creative. Propane tanks, fire extinguishers, gas lines, and other environmental factors to undermine Bell, but those are moreso a tactics thing than an equipment thing.

Stealth skills are another near deadlock. I consider their immediate skill in covert operations to be nearly equal, with equally impossible feats under the belts of both: 47 infiltrating the White House, vs Bell infiltrating a meeting of the heads of state of the Soviet Union. Normally I'd give 47 the edge for improvisation. Bell is usually following a preset plan in most of their missions while 47 inprovises on site, but Bell's plans end up going to hell in such a way that they end up improvising anyways. The thing that nudges this field juuuuuuuust into 47's ball park here is creativity, Instinct, and quality of diguises.

When the plan goes to shit and 47 is left scrambling, his immediate instinct is to break off as quietly as possible to strike back at a more opportune moment. When Bell is up shits creak without a paddle, their first instinct is to get out of dodge shooting down everything in their path with whatever weapon they can find. Both of these have been highly successful approaches, but 47's has a better payoff in a one-on-one like this. Furthermore, Instinct will allow 47 to keep an eye in Bell and maneuver them into unwinnable situations, even from far away, or while retreating undercover. And finally, while both are experts of disguise and infiltration, 47 has a better track record owing to his specialization in that field, successful passing himself off as loved ones to complete strangers, where Bell had to rely on prior familiarity with the Soviets they were infiltrating.

On the other hand, this is only an advantage if 47 manages to break off from the engagement. Even then, Bell's equal skill does give good odds that they could get the drop on 47 as well. Instinct does not make 47 omniscient.

Finally, we have hand to hand combat, which is 47's most definitive edge. He is a little over twice as strong as his competition (3,600 vs 1,686), has more modern training, and has fought more people in hand to hand combat in more varied situations across various different fields of combat, while Bell as specifically fought only soldiers like themself in specifically battlefield situations with similar training and tactics to themself. But, this advantage is solely predicated of experience and strength. In terms of skill and caliber of opponents fought, 47 and Bell are once again equals, with Alex Mason in particularly either evenly matching (Lucas Grey) or downright surpassing some of 47's toughest foes (Sanchez and The Rage).

All that said, 47 does not sweep Bell by any stretch. Most of his advantages are only by slight margins. Ever single skill that Bell and 47 share is a field they are nearly equal in. I'd even go so far as to put marksmanship slightly in Bell's corner given the caliber of opponent (Mason) that Bell has outsniped, 47 just has more skills generally to draw on.

Part of this is due to experience, yes. 47 is nearly 60 compared to his opponent's "unspecified but 30s at the youngest". But this mostly comes down to their exact specializations. Bell is a black ops soldier might to fight and infiltrate in Cold War military environments. 47 is an all purpose assassin built to operate in *any* environment. The areas that 47 outclasses Bell, particular in creativity and bizarre weaponry, are areas that wouldn't be useful behind cover in the battlefield and are only coming up as shortcomings here in a one on one fight against someone who does those skills.

That's what happens when you put the protagonist of a military FPS against a Stealth Sandbox protagonist. One has to be built for doing one specific thing very well, while the other has to do *everything* very well. And when the sandbox character has six games to perfect their arsenal, well... there's only one conclusion to be reached.

Here's how I think this fight would roughly play out.

This would start out as your standard shootout and they two would stand evenly matched for a long time. Eventually, one or the other gets forced back. Either 47 gets forced to retreat by Bell's destructive arsenal and battlefield experience, or Bell is driven to retreat by 47's bizarre weaponry. More likely the former. What ensues is a game of stealth and misdirection as the two try to get the drop on each other.

47 would use his Instinct to keep an eye on Bell while using every weapon he can find to set up an ambush. Given 47's experience outsmarting Cold War operatives, such as Eric Soders and Janus, both of whom were major players in undercover operations in the Cold War, 47 would use prior knowledge of that sort of mindset to set a purposefully inconspicuous trap, all the while trying to keep hidden with sporadic movements. Given Bell's own considerable skill, especially considering their defective work, this would take some time to pull off...

Both characters would ambush and escape each other back and forth with gas grenades and flash bangs, wearing each other down with traded bullet wounds, stab wounds, and cholk holds before disappearing again.

47's victory wouldn't come from a superior display of martial arts, or gun play, or even stealth. It'd come from the perfectly laid trap. An entire room set to blow with a leaking stove before Bell takes a shot... flooding a room before carefully using a loose cord... or loosening the supports right below the most viable sniping perch right when Bell goes to take the high ground. One mistep and it would just be over. No muss. No fuss.

"Target down, 47. Now find an exit."

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Agent 47!

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S01 E06 The last supper.

*Score changes in parenthesis.

Prize Task: Most Satisfying Item

Roisin might be suffering getting marked down for being friends with Greg. Those head massagers are genuine magic and in no world was Frank's stress ball a better showing. World Cup sticker albums tap into a cultural phenomenon that I'm not super familiar with, but completed collections are generally satisfying. A vape tank fits the call of the task sufficiently and Alex claimed Tim's chowder was good . . . but it was also three days old.

Frank: 1 (-1) Josh: 4 (0) Roisin: 5 (+4) Romesh: 3 (0) Tim: 2 (-3)

VT 01: Get the lowest golf score using eggs.

Theoretically a purely objective task with a mildly complex scoring system (shots x eggs x minutes). Tim makes the argument that Roisin "swept" the eggs, presumably disqualifying her. Alex does count a discrete number of shots, so this argument doesn't hold a ton of water.

The other issue is that Romesh ran out of eggs. If this is the case, then he did not actually complete the course and should be disqualified.

Frank: 4 (0) Josh: 2 (0) Roisin: 5 (0) Romesh: DQ (-1) Tim: 3 (0)

VT 02: Stage a realistic blooper from a home movie.

Subjective task, but there's no real argument from anyone that Tim and Frank's isn't the far superior video. Even Romesh confessed that he was genuinely embarrassed by what the team of three put out.

They did complete the task, so zero points isn't right, but it's hard to justify anything better than a 4-1 split.

Frank and Tim: 4 (+2) Josh, Roisin, and Romesh: 1 (+1)

VT 03: Make the best meal for the Taskmaster using ingredients beginning with every letter of the alphabet.

Everyone naturally struggled with the letter "X." The two ways the task could be graded is how much of the alphabet is actually utilized in the meal or as a pure evaluation of taste after Alex returns with the ingredients.

Frank and Romesh both incorporate xylophones, the latter also intentionally misspells "ouzo." Roisin uses an umbrella, so to avoid a mass disqualification these efforts have to be accepted to a degree. The real injustice is Josh receiving one point. It was a nice looking meal and Alex said it was good, but Tim still beat him despite serving dog food.

Frank: 5 (0) Josh: 4 (+3) Roisin: 3 (+2) Romesh: 2 (-2) Tim: 1 (-2)

Live Task: Wearing boxing gloves, put the blue sweets in the empty bowl.

Objectively scored task, so there's nothing to quibble with.

Frank: 3 Josh: 2 Roisin: 1 Romesh: 4 Tim: 5

Final

Frank: 17 (+1) Josh: 13 (+4) Roisin: 15 (+7) Romesh: 10 (-2) Tim: 15 (-3)

On regrade, Tim's only win was an episode he didn't deserve based on an over-score for chowder and Greg forgetting that he had served Alex dog food.

Regraded Series Scores

Frank: 95 (+2) Josh: 102 (+8) Roisin: 82 (+14) Romesh: 99 (+6) Tim: 85 (-3)

So Roisin seems like the rightful last place and Josh seems like the rightful champ, even sans bean point.

[codythecheshirecat]

I Think I've Been Interacting With Myself Differently Lately CH 8

AO3

Cody's stubbornness reappears. He and Rex have a talk where nothing is communicated.

Bored on his lunch break, Cody taps through various files on his datapad. There are three reminders for the month, a handful of photos and videos sent to him by brothers and friends who thought he’d appreciate them (some are comedic, some are serious, and he’s kept them all whether he liked them or not because he appreciates the thought), and-

His notes from Gregor’s class. He bites the inside of his cheek– an annoying, new habit that he can’t break- and opens the file. He stares at his notes for Deadnaming. He’s memorized the words, but reads them anyway.

And then he turns his attention to the topics he has yet to continue researching– Gender Identity, Transgender, and Sexual Orientation. He’s not sure why he hasn’t researched them more. He’s had plenty of time to do so. And, honestly, these concepts aren’t foreign– Kamino hadn’t exactly prepared them for the wider galaxy in any way other than for war, but Cody has been around. He’s paid attention. He’s learned. 

So he can’t really explain why it’s easier to throw himself out of a gunship during open fire than it is to search those terms again.

People who don't experience any sexual attraction for anyone often call themselves asexual.

Clearly there’s more than one definition for the term asexual, considering this is a very different usage than asexual reproduction. Why use the same term? Because there’s no sexual partner? Surely it must get confusing.

Transgender is an umbrella term for individuals whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.

Cody can honestly say that he’s never put enough thought into his own gender to even think this might be a possibility. The Kaminoans had told them they were clones, and that was that. Nothing more to think about.

And now there are things like taxes and gender to think about, Cody thinks, rolling his eyes internally. People honestly think about this?

How much thought did Rex put into realizing he was attracted to Senator Organa? About Queen Organa? Did he think about it at all?

Actually, here’s a new thought: is Cody supposed to be thinking about that all?

Am I the odd one out?

“You look like you want to kill that thing,” Sen says, sliding into the chair beside him. “You alright?”

Cody turns the datapad off. “I’m fine,” he says. “Although, I’d appreciate a distraction.”

Her lips twitch into a grin. “Anything in particular?”

“Anything.”

She pulls a datapad from her pocket. “Alright, so we’re trying to find something to do with you for your birthday. Marsi thinks we should be sneaky about it and make it a surprise, and Fi is insistent that mini golfing is the best activity.”

“And you disagree with both of them?” cody guesses.

“Not really, they both have good points. I definitely think we should do something you’ve never done before, though. You ever been to a concert?”

Have I ever been to a concert? “I was present for a handful of celebratory events that involved music,” Cody says. “Other than that, no.”

“No, then. Well, I’ve been looking at concerts happening around your birthday here on Coruscant.”

Cody tilts his head. “Anything I’ve heard of?”

“Let’s see. Poor Man’s Poison?”

“No.”

“Lovejoy?”

Cody shakes his head.

“Hey Violet?”

“Maybe?”

“Probably not,” Sen says, eyeing the datapad. “Have you heard of Taylor Swift?”

“I don’t live under a rock, Sen,” Cody says. “I know Taylor Swift.”

“Would you go to one of her concerts?”

“I wasn’t made to deal with that crowd,” Cody says.

“What about Snail Mail?”

Cody is suddenly transported back to the Negotiator, where he’d borne witness to the tail end of a conversation about what the world would be like if they were all snails. “No snails, please.”

Sen puts her datapad on the table. “Well, that was all of them.”

Cody stares at the datapad, where ‘Ghost’ is clearly written underneath Snail Mail. “What’s Ghost?”

Sen snorts. “Ghost is my favorite band, and definitely not your speed, Cody.”

“Ghost company.”

“That’s great, and I still think it’s not your speed.” Sen shakes her head. “Trust me, you’d fit in better with the Swifties.”

“Skywalker would fit in with the Swifties,” Cody says. “I’ve made up my mind. Tell the others we’re seeing Ghost in concert.”

“It’s a terrible idea to do that.”

“Your insistence is only making me more stubborn.” Cody tilts his head. “I was supposed to be a Captain, you know. Alpha-17 was supposed to train me as a Captain. Commander happened because I didn’t take no for an answer.”

They have a stare off. Cody has two minutes until he has to clock back in for lunch. After a moment, Sen sighs.

“Alright, your funeral. I’ll tell the others it’s your deepest wish to go see Ghost in concert. You want a heads up of what their concerts are like?”

“Is it anything like the battlefield?”

“I can’t imagine that it is.”

“Then I’ll be fine,” Cody stands, tilting his head like a polite bow. “Enjoy your break, Sen.”

Rex breaks into his apartment and makes himself caf. Cody watches him, not saying a word, knowing that Rex knows he’s there and that this is an intricate ritual that they must take part in and that neither of them fully understand.

This is what it’s like having brothers, as Cody understands it.

Rex has brought with him an Orchid plant. He sets it on Cody’s counter, and Cody eyes the handwritten note attached– all he can see from this distance is Fox’s signature.

Finally, Rex situates himself on the opposite end of Cody’s couch and stares at him.

Cody deems it time to talk. “Rex.”

“Cody,” Rex says. “Fox made me bring that Orchid.”

“I figured,” Cody says. “Rex, how did you know you were interested in the Organas?”

Rex blinks at him like a fish out of water. Cody waits patiently for him to get his mind back together. “What?”

“How did you know you were interested in the Organas?” Cody repeats. “What was the thought process?”

Rex gives him a curious look. “There wasn’t a thought process.”

Well, that doesn’t make sense. “You have to have thought about it.”

“It’s more of a feeling,” Rex says. “Like when you’re on the battlefield, and you’re acting on instinct more than conscious thought.”

“You have to have thought it through.”

“Whether or not I wanted to act on it, sure. Not the attraction itself.”

Cody stares at him. “Is that not the same?”

“No,” Rex says slowly, making his thinking face. “What’s another metaphor? It’s like facial expression and verbal communication.”

“I’m not following,” Cody says, frowning hard. “How are they like attraction?”

“Cody, what’s this about?” Rex asks. He sets his cup of caf on the floor. “Is everything alright?”

Like when you’re on the battlefield, and you’re acting on instinct more than conscious thought. It’s like facial expression and verbal communication. “Do you not think about your facial expressions?”

“...Only when I might have to disguise the expressions on my face,” Rex says. “Are you saying you do?”

“I think we might be looking at the same thing from different angles,” Cody says. He bites his cheek again. “Different words, same thing. Forget about it.”

“If you’re sure,” Rex says. “Did you still want to talk about Bail and Breha..?”

“No,” Cody says. “Forget about that, too. Do you have birthday plans?”

[shop-korea]

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[onlygreens12]

Perfect Golf Gifts for Every Golfer

Golf gifts can be a challenge to choose, especially when trying to find something unique that will truly be appreciated. Whether for a seasoned pro or a weekend warrior, finding the right gift can enhance their game or simply make their experience on the course more enjoyable. Here’s a guide to some of the best golf gifts for every type of golfer.

Personalized Golf Balls

Nothing says thoughtful like a set of personalized golf balls. These can be customized with the golfer’s name, initials, or even a fun message. Personalized golf balls are not just a fun gift but also practical, helping to ensure that their balls don’t get mixed up with others on the course. They can also add a touch of flair to their game.

High-Quality Golf Gloves

A good pair of golf gloves can make a significant difference in a golfer’s performance. Look for gloves made from high-quality materials such as Cabretta leather, which offers a snug fit and excellent grip. Many brands also offer customization options for added personal touch. Golf gloves are essential for both comfort and control, making them a thoughtful and practical gift.

Golf Rangefinders

For those who take their game seriously, a golf rangefinder is an invaluable tool. These devices help golfers measure distances accurately, allowing them to make better club choices and improve their overall game. Modern rangefinders are compact, user-friendly, and often come with features like slope adjustment and built-in GPS. This gift can significantly enhance their gameplay and enjoyment on the course.

Golf Practice Aids

Help your loved one improve their swing or putting with a golf practice aid. From putting mats that mimic real greens to swing trainers that correct form, these tools are excellent for honing skills at home. Practice aids are perfect for golfers who want to fine-tune their game without having to hit the course every day.

Stylish Golf Apparel

Golf apparel is a great way to keep a golfer looking sharp while on the course. Consider gifting high-performance shirts, hats, or jackets designed specifically for golf. Look for moisture-wicking fabrics and stylish designs that provide both comfort and functionality. Many golf apparel brands also offer customization options, so you can add a personal touch.

Golf Bags and Accessories

A new golf bag or accessories can make a significant difference. Look for bags with plenty of compartments for clubs and personal items, as well as features like ergonomic straps and durable materials. Accessories like club head covers, umbrella holders, and personalized towel clips also make great additions to any golfer’s kit.

Golf Lessons

For the golfer looking to improve their skills, golf lessons with a professional instructor can be a fantastic gift. Many golf courses and training centers offer packages for individual or group lessons. This gift not only shows that you’re thoughtful but also supports their passion for the game by helping them reach their potential.

Golf Books and Magazines

For those who love to read about golf, books and magazines are perfect gifts. Choose from instructional books that provide tips and strategies or biographies of famous golfers. Subscriptions to golf magazines are also a great way to keep them updated with the latest trends and news in the golfing world.

Golf Travel Gear

If the golfer in your life loves to travel, consider getting them golf travel gear such as a travel cover for their clubs or a golf-specific suitcase. These items help ensure that their equipment stays safe and secure while traveling to different courses around the country or even internationally.

Golf-Themed Home Décor

Lastly, for a golfer who loves to show off their passion even when they’re not on the course, golf-themed home décor can be a charming gift. Think framed Unique golf gifts, sculptures, or even a golf-themed bar set. These items can add a touch of personality to their living space while celebrating their favorite sport.

[dolcevitagetaways]

Your Ultimate Guide to Panama City Beach Hotels Where to Stay for the Perfect Getaway

Panama City Beach, known for its stunning white-sand beaches and crystal-clear waters, is a popular destination for vacationers seeking sun, sand, and endless fun. Choosing the right hotel is essential to making the most of your stay in this beautiful coastal city. In this guide, we’ll explore some of the best Panama City Beach hotels, catering to a variety of preferences and budgets, to help you find the perfect accommodation for your next trip.

Why Choose Panama City Beach?

Panama City Beach offers something for everyone, from family-friendly activities and world-class dining to vibrant nightlife and serene nature escapes. The 27 miles of pristine beaches provide ample opportunities for swimming, sunbathing, and water sports. Additionally, the city is home to numerous attractions such as Pier Park, Shipwreck Island Waterpark, and Gulf World Marine Park, making it an ideal destination for visitors of all ages.

Top Panama City Beach Hotels

1. Sheraton Panama City Beach Golf & Spa Resort

For those seeking luxury and relaxation, the Sheraton Panama City Beach Golf & Spa Resort is a top choice. This resort offers a blend of upscale amenities and stunning natural beauty, making it perfect for both leisure and business travelers.

Location: Nestled on St. Andrews Bay, the resort provides easy access to the beach and numerous water activities.

Amenities: The resort features an 18-hole golf course, a full-service spa, multiple dining options, and several pools, including a lagoon-style pool.

Activities: Guests can enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and fishing directly from the resort’s private marina.

2. Holiday Inn Resort Panama City Beach

The Holiday Inn Resort is a family favorite, known for its welcoming atmosphere and extensive amenities designed to entertain guests of all ages.

Location: Situated directly on the Gulf of Mexico, it offers stunning beach views and easy access to the water.

Amenities: The resort boasts a water playground, live entertainment, a lazy river, and a lagoon pool. Kids can participate in various activities organized by the resort’s entertainment team.

Dining: Several on-site dining options cater to different tastes, including a beachfront restaurant and a poolside bar.

3. The Pearl Hotel

For a more intimate and luxurious experience, The Pearl Hotel in nearby Rosemary Beach offers boutique accommodations with a high level of personalized service.

Location: Located in the charming town of Rosemary Beach, it’s a short drive from Panama City Beach and provides a quieter, more relaxed atmosphere.

Amenities: The hotel features a rooftop lounge, a spa, a restaurant serving locally sourced cuisine, and access to private beach club amenities.

Activities: Guests can enjoy complimentary beach chairs and umbrellas, bicycles, and access to the fitness center and tennis courts.

4. Hampton Inn & Suites Panama City Beach-Beachfront

The Hampton Inn & Suites offers a great balance of comfort, convenience, and affordability, making it a popular choice for travelers looking for a beachfront stay without breaking the bank.

Location: Positioned right on the beach, the hotel provides easy access to the ocean and is close to Pier Park.

Amenities: Guests can enjoy a complimentary hot breakfast, an outdoor pool, a fitness center, and free Wi-Fi.

Value: The hotel’s reasonable rates make it a great option for budget-conscious travelers who don’t want to compromise on location or amenities.

5. Edgewater Beach and Golf Resort

Edgewater Beach and Golf Resort is ideal for those seeking a full-service resort experience with plenty of activities and amenities.

Location: This beachfront resort offers easy access to the beautiful Gulf waters and is conveniently located near many of Panama City Beach’s attractions.

Amenities: The resort features multiple swimming pools, hot tubs, an on-site golf course, tennis courts, and a variety of dining options.

Activities: Guests can take advantage of the resort’s watersports rentals, fitness classes, and seasonal live entertainment.

Tips for Choosing the Right Panama City Beach Hotel

When selecting the best hotel for your stay in Panama City Beach, consider the following factors to ensure you find the perfect match for your needs:

1. Location

Think about what you want to be close to. If you plan to spend most of your time on the beach, look for hotels with direct beach access. If you’re interested in shopping and dining, staying near Pier Park might be more convenient.

2. Amenities

Different hotels offer various amenities, from pools and spas to on-site dining and entertainment. Make a list of must-have features and find a hotel that meets your requirements.

3. Budget

Panama City Beach has accommodations for all budgets. Determine how much you’re willing to spend and explore options within your price range. Keep in mind that off-season rates are typically lower.

4. Family-Friendly vs. Adults-Only

Some hotels cater specifically to families, offering kid-friendly activities and amenities. Others are more suited for adults looking for a quieter, more sophisticated atmosphere. Choose a hotel that aligns with your travel group’s preferences.

5. Reviews and Ratings

Check online reviews and ratings to get an idea of other guests’ experiences. Websites like TripAdvisor, Google Reviews, and Yelp can provide valuable insights into the quality and service of the hotel.

Activities and Attractions Near Panama City Beach Hotels

Staying at one of Panama City Beach’s premier hotels puts you in close proximity to a range of exciting activities and attractions:

Pier Park: This shopping, dining, and entertainment complex features a variety of stores, restaurants, and a movie theater.

Shipwreck Island Waterpark: A fun destination for families, this waterpark offers slides, wave pools, and lazy rivers.

Gulf World Marine Park: Enjoy marine life shows, exhibits, and interactive experiences with dolphins, sea lions, and more.

St. Andrews State Park: A beautiful natural area ideal for hiking, picnicking, and wildlife watching.

Shell Island: Take a boat tour to this uninhabited island known for its pristine beaches and excellent snorkeling opportunities. Panama City Beach offers a diverse array of hotel options, each catering to different tastes, budgets, and needs. Whether you’re looking for a luxurious resort, a family-friendly hotel, or a budget-friendly beachfront stay, you’ll find the perfect accommodation to enhance your vacation experience. By considering factors such as location, amenities, and budget, you can choose the ideal Panama City Beach hotel for your next getaway. Enjoy your stay and make the most of everything this beautiful coastal destination has to offer!

[custom-umbrellas]

Custom Design Umbrellas Manufacturer

Founded in 2001, Septrainbow Industry & Trade Co Ltd is an innovative manufacturer, factory, exporter and wholesaler, which has more than 24 years manufacturing and design experience in all kinds of custom design umbrellas, includes folding umbrellas, inverted umbrellas, golf umbrellas, promotional umbrellas, custom umbrellas, windproof umbrellas, luxury umbrellas, kids umbrellas, RPET umbrella, clear umbrellas, custom made umbrellas, and so on. Our umbrellas are environmentally friendly and low lead, and can pass REACH, CALIFORNIA 65 and other tests. With many years' development, now, our umbrella manufacturing workshop covers 2,000㎡ with more than eighty employees, most of the workers have more than 10 years manufacturing experience in umbrellas.

Our outdoor products factory is located in Tong'an Industrial Zone, Xiamen, and the manufacturing workshop covers 10,000㎡ with more than 500 workers; It specializes in the R&D and production of outdoor products such as custom tents, custom sunshade canopy, and custom beach umbrellas. The factory is also a supplier of emergency disaster relief materials to the Ministry of Civil Affairs and the National Grain and Material Reserve Administration of China.

We are proud to offer our most professional OEM/ODM production services, product design & development, and supply chain solutions to our global clients. In past 23 years, we designed and manufactured high quality umbrellas and outdoor products for many industry-leading customers around the world, the products are well appreciated by our clients. We have the complete raw materials supply chain, strict inspection standards and complete supporting services, from design and development of products, screening of raw materials, production and assembly processes, finished products, printing and dyeing, packing, testing, quality control and related logistics service, etc. AQL 2.5 is our regular inspection standard. On-time delivery is our basic production principle.

Today, With more flexible production methods and wider range of customizable products, we have won favors from more partners, including retailers, wholesalers, importers, distributors, promotional and gift agents, S2B intelligent supply chain service platform, e-commerce sellers, etc. 

Septrainbow supply the best manufacturing service solutions all over the globe to a wide range of companies, ranging from large multinational organizations to small individual companies, Welcome to visit our factories!

In order to adapt to the customers' growing demand for small quantity customization, we launched the latest Custom Printed Products series in 2022 and set up 9 dedicated custom printing production lines; Our customizable printing products cover nearly 200 products in 9 categories, includes Custom Umbrellas, Custom Car Sunshades, Custom Bags, Custom Caps, Custom Home Supplies, Custom Clothing, Custom Festival Supplies and Custom Fashion Accessories; The main clients are Small retail sellers, E-commerce sellers and Small batch gifts & promotional items buyer, etc. Any designs of the client can be custom printed on the product as requested, and no minimum order quantity requirements. Our Purpose: Flexible Customization, Fast Production, Fast Delivery!

Tell us your needs and ideas to get our professional advice and best offer!

https://www.septrainbow.com

[hub1jokes]

Good Joke

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[johncrestani801]

Best Golf Push Carts

Golf is a sport that offers not only a challenging physical activity but also a serene and enjoyable experience on beautifully manicured greens. To make the game even more enjoyable and convenient, golf enthusiasts have embraced the use of golf push carts. These innovative devices have revolutionized the way golfers transport their clubs and equipment around the course, replacing the traditional method of carrying or using motorized carts. In this article, we’ll explore the benefits and features of golf push carts and how they contribute to a more relaxed and efficient golfing experience.

Type of golf push carts?

Golf push carts come in a variety of types, each designed to cater to different preferences and needs of golfers. Here are some of the common types of golf push carts:

Three-Wheel Push Carts

These are the traditional style of golf push carts, featuring a single wheel at the front and two wheels at the back. They offer stability and are easy to maneuver, making them a popular choice among golfers. The single front wheel allows for easy swiveling, making navigation through the course smooth.

Four-Wheel Push Carts

Four-wheel push carts provide enhanced stability and balance due to the additional wheel. They are ideal for golfers who prefer a more secure and steady cart, especially on hilly or uneven terrain. Four-wheel carts often come with advanced features such as adjustable handles, extra storage space, and improved braking systems.

Electric Push Carts (Motorized Carts)

Electric push carts, also known as motorized carts or electric trolleys, are equipped with battery-powered motors that assist in propelling the cart. These carts eliminate the need for manual pushing, reducing physical strain on the golfer. Electric push carts come with various speed settings and often include additional features like distance tracking, remote control functionality, and USB charging ports.

Remote-Controlled Carts

These carts take convenience to the next level by allowing golfers to control the cart’s movement remotely. With a handheld remote, golfers can guide the cart to move forward, backward, left, or right, freeing them from the need to be near the cart at all times.

Collapsible Push Carts

Collapsible push carts are designed for easy storage and transport. They can be folded down to a compact size, making them convenient for golfers with limited storage space or those who frequently travel with their golf equipment.

Push-Pull Combo Carts

These versatile carts can be used as both push and pull carts, offering flexibility depending on the golfer’s preference. The handle and wheel arrangement can be adjusted to switch between pushing and pulling the cart.

Umbrella Holder Carts

Some push carts come equipped with an umbrella holder, providing a convenient way to shield yourself from the sun or rain while on the course. This feature is particularly useful in varying weather conditions.

Junior Golf Push Carts

Designed specifically for younger golfers, junior push carts are scaled-down versions of regular carts. They are lightweight, easy to handle, and help junior golfers build good habits early on.

These different types of golf push carts cater to a wide range of golfers, ensuring that everyone can find a cart that suits their playing style, preferences, and needs on the course. Whether you’re looking for a traditional three-wheel cart, an electric motorized cart, or something in between, there’s a push cart out there to enhance your golfing experience.

Top 10 Golf push Cart Reviews

In this section, we’ll talk about 10 most popular golf push carts with features, colors, pros, cons etc.

1. Bag Boy Nitron

2. Bag Boy Quad XL

3. CaddyTek Caddylite 15.3 V2

4. CaddyTel Explorer V8 SuperLite

5. Clicgear Rovic RV2L

6. SereneLife SLG3W

7. CaddyTek Caddylite 11.5 V3

8. Sun Mountain Pathfinder PX3 Black-Inferno

9. JEF WORLD of Golf Deluxe Steel

10. Jovial

Full Article here: Best Golf Push Carts

[store4golfers]

Best Golf Accessories Online in Canada: Elevate Your Game with Store4Golfers

Golf is more than just a sport; it's a passion, a way of life for many. Whether you're a seasoned golfer or just starting, having the right golf accessories can make a world of difference in your game. In Canada, where golf is a beloved pastime, finding the best golf accessories online is essential to enhance your golfing experience. In this article, we'll explore some of the top golf accessories available online in Canada that can help you perform at your best on the green.

1. Golf Clubs: The cornerstone of any golfer's toolkit, the right set of golf clubs can significantly impact your performance. Online retailers in Canada offer a wide selection of golf club sets, catering to all skill levels. From drivers to irons and putters, you'll find top brands and models to suit your playing style.

2. Golf Balls: Golf balls are as crucial as your clubs. The type of golf ball you choose can greatly influence your distance, accuracy, and overall performance. Online stores in Canada provide access to a variety of golf balls, including options from renowned brands that offer exceptional control and distance.

3. Golf Bags: Carrying your clubs and accessories in a quality golf bag is essential for a comfortable and organized game. In Canada, you can find a range of golf bags, including stand bags, cart bags, and tour bags, designed to suit different needs and preferences.

4. Golf Apparel: Comfortable and stylish golf attire is a must when you're out on the course. Canadian online stores offer a wide selection of golf clothing, including golf shirts, pants, shoes, and hats, ensuring you not only look the part but also feel comfortable during your rounds.

5. Golf Gloves: A good grip is crucial for a controlled swing. High-quality golf gloves available online in Canada provide the necessary grip and protection against blisters, allowing you to maintain a consistent performance throughout your game.

6. Golf GPS and Rangefinders: Accurate distance measurement is key to improving your golf game. Golf GPS devices and rangefinders available online in Canada help you determine precise yardages, aiding your club selection and shot planning.

7. Golf Training Aids: For those looking to sharpen their skills, online retailers in Canada offer various golf training aids. These aids, ranging from swing analyzers to putting mats, can help you refine your technique and lower your scores.

8. Golf Accessories: Beyond the essentials, there are numerous golf accessories that can enhance your experience. These include golf umbrellas, divot repair tools, ball markers, and more. Canadian online stores stock a wide range of these accessories to cater to your needs.

9. Golf Tech: Stay updated with the latest golf technology. Online platforms in Canada offer innovative gadgets like GPS watches, swing analyzers, and launch monitors to help you track your progress and make data-driven improvements.

10. Golf Maintenance Tools: Keeping your clubs and gear in top condition is vital. Online stores in Canada provide a variety of maintenance tools, such as club cleaners, brushes, and regripping kits, to ensure your equipment remains in peak shape.

11. Golf Accessories for Comfort: Don't forget about comfort on the course. Canadian online retailers offer items like golf towels, cooling towels, and sun protection gear to keep you comfortable and protected from the elements.

In conclusion, whether you're a casual golfer or a dedicated enthusiast, having access to the best golf accessories are essential to improve your game and overall experience on the golf course. Canada's online golf stores offer a wide selection of high-quality products that cater to every golfer's needs and preferences.

When you're ready to elevate your golf game and find the best golf accessories online in Canada, look no further than Store4Golfers. With a reputation for quality and a wide range of golf-related products, Store4Golfers is your one-stop-shop for all your golfing needs. Visit Store4Golfers today to explore their extensive catalog and take your golfing experience to the next level.

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Crossover Competition

The show where we take two characters from different franchises and make them compete in something that ISN'T a fight to the death.

This Week's Competitors...

Agent 47 vs I.M.P.

Competition:

Agent 47 is tasked with assassinating all of the targets IMP is sent to the human world to deal with during Season 1 of Helluva Boss, while IMP is tasked with assassinating all of the story mission targets in Hitman 2016. Which side succeeds in fulfilling all their contracts?

Conditions:

Stats Equalized. Agent 47 is at the level of IMP, while IMP is at the level of 47, to keep any stat differences between universes negating the challenge.

Both characters are given the same mission briefing for each target that the other was canonically provided with, just from canonically appropriate sources (IMP getting the briefing from whatever sinner hired them while 47 gets his briefing from Diana, but the intel granted is the same)

Neither are allowed outside help (while IMP will still have Stolas's book to allow them to persue the contracts in the first place, Stolas himself cannot keep watch or bail them out. Similarly, 47 will not be supplied weapons by his ICA or black market contacts and will only be allowed the weapons it is shown he owns and keeps at home in Freelancer)

Agent 47 does not have any feats granted to him by easter eggs.

Analysis: Agent 47

"Names are for friends, so I don't need one."

One day, the International Contract Agency found a mysterious man knocking on their front door. The man had no name, no history, and seemingly no personality. All he had was a remarkable gift for murder, as if he were the grim reaper himself. He said he went by 47. It wasn't a name, so he made it one. He became the ICA's greatest assassin and paved a legacy of death everywhere he went.

In truth, Agent 47 was a clone, created by Dr. Ortmyer in an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin. Unfortunately for Ortmyer, he succeeded. 47 killed his pseudo father, and struck out on his own. Left directionless by the revelation of his birth, 47 attempted to start a normal life for himself. Unfortunately, he found that his only talents were in killing people. So, he decided to he was going to be the best there ever was at it. He would kill the most powerful people in the world for the right price and prove that no one, no matter how powerful, was above consequences.

Agent 47 is a master of stealth and disguise unlike any other. He's considered a myth to law enforcement agencies all around the world and has repeatedly killed people with the same level of mythic status as himself. Those who do know he exists would much rather hire him than make him their enemy. A smart move considering he tears down international conspiracies on a weekly basis.

Agent 47 is quiet the Renaissance Man, even rivaling Mario for the title. He's more than capable of doing nearly any job on the planet and is capable of using anything as a weapon. He can knock grown, fully armoured men out cold with snowballs and feather dusters. He can kill people with umbrellas, pencils, and pens. He can even use fire extinguishers as improvised grenades. An Agent 47 armed with only his garrote wire, silver baller pistol, and coins is best considered fully armed and dangerous, but he's capable of using much more. When even his standard, silenced Silverballer pistols are strong enough to kill elephants in one shot, you know he's a walking armory. Shotguns, SMGs, sniper rifles, and more. If 47 doesn't have them at home, he can buy them off of his arms dealers. And that's not even counting his truly ridiculous weapons, such as a briefcase that homes in on anyone he throws it at and goes through anything in its path, a variety of grenades and explosives disguised as rubber ducks, toys, or golf balls, and a whole host poisons he can inject, spray, or poison your drink with, ranging from emetic rat poison to make you vomit, sleeping drugs to knock you out cold, or traditional poisons that can enduce heart attacks or shut down your brain. Whether he's bringing it from home, finding it on sight, or making his weapons out of whatever he's found lying around, 47 always has countless weapons close to hand and he can kill you in at least five different ways with each.

Similarly, 47 is smart enough to competently perform any job on Earth, even frequently imitating and impressing experts in his field. Butlers, Doctors, DJs, CEOs, Engineers, and so on and so forth. He has successfully disguised himself as close loved ones of his targets and is fluent enough in most languages to pass himself off as a native speaker. This vast array of knowledge allows him to improvise countless ways to kill his targets. From drowning you in a toilet, tricking your bodyguards into killing you, manipulating your wife into pushing you off a bridge, driving you to grief stricken suicide, or even running you over with a goddamn train, if there's a way to kill someone, he's thought of it and performed it with no one any the wiser.

On top of his superhuman intellect, 47 is superhuman physically as well. He can survive exposure to the freezing cold temperatures of the Carpathian mountains while mostly naked, is immune to nearly every poison and disease known to man (baring few exceptions) has survived being electrocuted while standing in water (albiet was knocked out by this) and has a resistance to mind control so great that the person trying to mind control him died from the sheer backlash. It has even been noted by an implied psychic (who was clairvoyant enough to deduce a client's criminal history) that 47 has an aura of death looming around him that strikes terror into anyone capable of seeing it. And since 47 doesn't physically age, he will never grow out of his prime. As such, he's still kicking ass well into 59, easily outperforming men half his age.

Agent 47 also has the Instinct ability, a sixth sense that allows him to see through walls and can predict where his targets are going. However, he cannot use this ability in open combat.

47 has snuck into the White House undetected, frequently dismantles international conspiracies and secret societies, and is strong and skilled enough to defeat a middleweight MMA World Champion in only three blows. He even bested Sanchez, a genetically engineered superhuman who was twice his size, in unarmed combat.

If 47 has any weaknesses at all, it's that he rarely makes an emotional connections with anyone. The trauma of his ruthless upbringing has left him emotionally distant and he struggles to emotionally connect with others. Those he does care about he will do anything to protect, even against suicidal odds. Similarly, he has repressed many of the memories of his childhood, partly due to trauma and partly due to mindwiping drugs, and he frequently questions his place in the universe due to his upbringing. 47 doesn't think he's capable of committing to any line of work that doesn't involve murder, without hurting the few people he holds dear.

Agent 47 was an attempt to create the world's greatest assassin and he was a complete success. Unfortunately for his creators, he was still human. This meant that they were the first in a long list of people to discover just how well they'd succeeded.

Analysis: The Immediate Murder Professionals

It is remarkably easy to go to hell.

Cheat on your wife? Hell. Kill your husband for cheating on you? Hell. Build miraculous futuristic technologies by experimenting on the poor? Straight to hell! It's hardly fair! No wonder hell is suffering from an overpopulation crisis, it's so easy to get stuck there! And the worst part is, you don't get to enact brutal revenge on those who wronged you in life! What's a forsaken soul to do?

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals!

Some of the finest... well... deadliest... no... some of the luckiest imps in hell have gained special access to the human world, and they're using that incredible power to kill whatever puny earthlings you get around to in life. Thanks to their... "business arrangement" with the demon prince Stolas Goetia, these professional killers have special access to the grimoire of the Ars Goetia, permitting them to create portals anywhere in the human world.

They're lead by Blitzo. The O is silent. Once a simple circus performer whose life was destroyed in a fire that killed his family, scarred him for life, and destroyed his relationship with his best friend, he now runs one of hell's most unique up and coming businesses. Despite being a loud, vulgar, abrasive wind bag, he's a deadly proficient killer and assassin. A master acrobat with a flair for the dramatic, he's never caught without a flintlock, a semiautomatic, and a sniper rifle. And he's the one who arranged the business deal with his.... partner Stolas.

It's a transactional fucking, he swears.

But despite his numerous flaws, he's a loving father to his beloved hellhound daughter Loona.

Moxie Knolastname was once an enforcer for his abusive father's mafia family, joining up with Blitzo in prison after a job gone wrong and... begrudgingly... respecting him for being a truly loving father and, on occasion, a good friend. The greatest marksman on the team, this well read thespian and historian is just as deadly an assassin as any of his teammates.

With him, he brings his loving wife Millie, arguably the single most bloodthirsty imp this side of the ring of wrath. Armed with a short temper and a massive battle axe, she can cleave targets in half by the hundreds and will happily slaughter an army to reunite with her dear husband.

Together, this scrappy rag tag team is capable of taking down any target you hire them for, from a family of cannibalistic serial killers to an entire building of demon hunters. Despite their lack of magical glamours, they're still masters of practical disguises, able to easily blend in to the human world and take any identity they might need, even disguising as world famous celebrities. They carry every kind of weapon they might need, from pistols to sniper rifles, battle axes to swords, crossbows, grenades, and even a big, fuck off rocket launcher nearly the size of a building.

But their deadliest weapon of all would have to be their holy tipped gun. As an ordinary gun enhanced with the melted down weapons of angels, these fire arms are powerful and deadly enough to even kill demon royalty, nullifying their powers and destroying their souls completely.

As demons from hell, they're far more resilient than any ordinary human. They've regularly shrugged off being shot, stabbed, blown up, and crushed. They can drink demonic alcohol with no ill effects, which can transform earth animals into monsterous sea beasts, and Blitzo in particular can even beat out Queen Beelzebub, Queen of Gluttony herself, in a drinking contest. They're completely immune to Earth fire and can even tank an explosion that destroyed all of Loo Loo Land.

Millie was singlehandedly capable of slaughtering the Knolastname mob family, they've massacred their way through the demon hunting D.H.O.R.K.S., defeated Striker, one of the deadliest assassins in the entirety of the wrath ring, and even managed to kill a target who was protected by the angels of heaven. The team can consistently dodge arrows, bullets, and even automatic fire, and can keep up with the Robotic Fizzarolli in combat, who can dodge Blitzo's guns at close range.

But despite all of their on paper impressive feats, they are still held back by some massive glaring flaws. As imps, they're some of the lowest ranking demons in hell's hierarchy, having none of the special powers of royal or sinner demons. They're just as mortal as regular humans. But Blitzo in particular can sometimes by the tean's biggest liability. He blames himself for the fire that destroyed his life, and has developed a repugnant personality that pushes away the people closest to him because that's what he believes he deserves. He refuses to acknowledge his deeper feelings for Stolas because he can't comprehend someone genuinely loving him back and his inappropriate behavior can at times put strain on his team's coordination.

Despite that, I.M.P can simultaneously be some of the luckiest demons in hell. So lucky that Blitzo was once able to trick an entire room full of gangsters into killing each other by tipping over a box. They've even recently gained an ally in Asmodeus, the King of Lust himself, via Blitzo repairing his old relationship with his long lost childhood friend Fizzarolli.

Life in hell might shit all over them, but they'll never be down for long. So if you're a sinner with a score to settle, hire the Immediate Murder Professionals! Kids die for freeeeee~

Throwdown Theme:

Competition Breakdown:

Agent 47's Section

Murder Family

The target, "Mama" Martha, is launched into stardom and hailed as a hero after she cheats on her husband with a married man and survives the impromptu murder suicide that occurs when the wife gets home. The grieving family of the deceased Mrs. Mayberry hire 47 to get revenge on the woman they blame for ruining her perfect life.

As per the rules, Agent 47 will not know ahead of time that he's dealing with a family of cannibalistic satanists, but I honestly doubt he'd be thrown by such a revelation. 47 is very used to his targets being comically terrible people and his reaction to being confronted by serial killers is to bluntly tell them he's not impressed and that he's seen worse. He'd probably just go:

If he even reacts at all. The dude is hilariously unflappable. He'd honestly kinda fit in on the Hazbinverse's comically terrible Earth.

As for the Murder Family themselves, I don't see 47 having much trouble. By Hazbinverse standards, they're just ordinary humans. While they are skilled enough to put IMP on the backfoot, it's very out of character for 47 to directly confront them in open combat. Especially when Martha's the one he's here to kill. 47's biggest issue is he refuses to hurt children, so he'd likely avoid a direct confrontation. Likely by hiding in the closet until the family goes to bed and smothering Martha in her sleep with a pillow, which he's been known to do before. 47 clears pretty easily here.

Spring Broken:

This is an interesting one. The premise of this episode is that Blitzo is competing with his ex to kill more targets than she can fuck in a day by taking thousands of contracts at once with all the targets being in the same spring break crowd.

To set this up on 47's side. 47 in character is not going to get in a competitive dick measuring contest with a succubus he doesn't know. In fact, his reaction in that scenario would be "wait, demons are real?"

This is the man who reacted to meeting the actual Santa Claus by bludgeoning him unconscious, stealing his clothes, and stealing his sleigh to escape the crime scene. He's not phased by damn near anything.

In character, 47 would imbark on this kind of challenge... because he can. 47 canonically loves to test his skills with complicated, over the top kills that he somehow pulls off undetected. Taking thousands of contracts whose targets are all attending the same spring break party would be completely in character for him if he's bored and in the mood to flex a bit.

But that set up removes any prior knowledge of Verosika, who is hosting the party in her human disguise. This creates a problem, as during the party, Verosika carelessly tosses a demonic alcoholic drink into the ocean, transforming a passing fish into a giant sea monster that IMP must then take down. With no prior inclination that this is something that could happen, how does 47 fair?

Well, hilariously, I think his in character approach would side step this in a very practical way. 47 would likely drug the party's alcohol with sleeping drugs to knock out everyone at the party, inadvertently KO'ing Verosika before she can create the ocean monster. This leaves Verosika's bodyguard, Tex, left to deal with, as he's too professional and responsible to be caught drinking on the job. But 47 could just follow up by shooting him in the neck with a sleeping dart. Demons have been effected by Earth sleeping drugs before and 47's can knock out hippos in seconds, so that should still bring down the Hellhound.

After that, 47 can kill his targets at his leisure, leaving Verosika to wake up hours later surrounded by a lot of conspicuously dead party goers and no clue that 47 was ever there.

C.H.E.R.U.B.

Lyle Lipton is a corrupt inventor who experiments on the poor to create advanced technology for the world's three trillionaires. That isn't too outside 47's wheelhouse. The issue is CHERUB, angels from heaven who arrive to talk Lyle out of suicide.

Thing is... 47 is Christian. He donates to Christian charities and orphanages to settle his conscience and he genuinely struggles with whether a clone like him has a soul. The second game has him adopted by a Christian pastor and try and retire under his care. Would 47 kill someone who is under the protection of angels?

The thing is the context. For one, 47 ultimately concludes at the end of that game that his nature as an assassin will always win out over his faith and returning to his life of crime. While he still values those close to him, 47 continues being an assassin because he thinks that's all he's capable of being.

Ultimately, if 47's faith didn't protect Saint Nick himself, it wouldn't protect Lyle. He'd just go...

In character, I think 47 would just wait for CHERUB to finish talking Lyle out of suicide. Either they fail and 47 succeeds, or they succeed and leave, at which point 47 snipes Lyle through his bedroom window. Without CHERUB involved, Lyle's just a sick old billionaire and 47's killed plenty of those.

I won't be covering DHORKS. IMP weren't hired to go after them, they got kidnapped by them. DHORKS are demon hunters who'd have no reason to go after 47 if they even know he exists. He's outside their jurisdiction.

IMP's section

The Showstopper

Viktor Novikov and Dalia Margolis are the biggest fashion icons in the world and the heads of an international blackmail operation called Iago. IMP is hired by one their indirect victims after they're killed by a terrorist group that Iago sold their location out to.

This presents an immediate problem: IMP doesn't speak French. Well... maybe.

They've never taken a contract outside of America before and there's no indication that demons automatically understand every language in this universe. (For example, we know for a fact that Fizzarolli can't speak Italian, because Crimson is insulted by his mangled attempt to do so.) At least, not Imps or Hellhounds, who aren't supposed to go to the mortal world in the first place and thus usually wouldn't have any reason to learn these languages.

But, there is a caveat there. IMP does regularly interact with Sinners from Earth, who can come from everywhere on Earth. It just hasn't come up because we've never seen them operate outside of America yet. And we also know full well that Imps can learn second languages, as Fizzarolli can speak ASL and Crimson can understand Italian. It's something that would likely come up in IMP's job, so I'll consider the possibility here for the sake of argument.

While IMP can use convincing human disguises, they can't get into the party without an invite and, without 47's ICA connections, cannot forge an ID to get one like he did. But that can be subverted by just hoping over the bushes. Due to security being widly split between both the fashion show and the Iago meeting upstairs, I can see IMP climbing up the side if the building and breaking into the Iago meeting via the balcony.

There, they'd burst into the Iago meeting and gun down everyone in the room, including Dalia.

This is where the whole "Stats Equalized" thing comes into play. IMP are bullet dodgers in their universe. 47 is not. And IMP are Equalized to 47's level. Does this mean they're screwed whenever they start a big gun fight like this?

I'd say no. For one, IMP is tough enough to shrug off wounds like stabs and gunshots to nonvital areas. Imps in general are. But mainly, they have a massive leg up in skill compared to 47 and most of his opposition. IMP are one man armies who should still be more than capable of aim dodging their way through gun fights in the Hitman universe. Especially due to their superhuman agility that the soldiers of the Hitman universe would have little experience dealing with.

Viktor would be informed of the massacre and taken to the saferoom immediately, as IMP aren't particularly known for being quiet. As such, IMP will have to shoot their way down to the basement to get to him. The team's specialties should make this fairly easy though. The supporting fire provided by Moxxie and Blitzo as they bounce around off the walls will keep the heat off Millie and (if she's allowed to come along by Blitzo) Loona as they charge down and maul everyone. Millie alone has singlehandedly carved her way out of the guts of a giant sea monster, so bodyguards with standard issue fire arms won't pose to much trouble. Especially if they try snd shoot her down, they leave themselves open to being sniped by Blitzo and Moxxie.

Combine all that with their supernatural luck and Viktor's a dead man. Worst case scenario and IMP starts getting overwhelmed, they can pull out the giant rocket launcher and bring the whole building down on his head. IMP can and has escaped such things. Viktor has not.

World of Tomorrow

Silvio Caruso and Francesca De Santis are two brilliant scientists working on a bio-weapon that can specifically target certain people based on their DNA. It's a virus with no symptoms that travels harmlessly through targets until it infects and kills the one person it is programmed to. The ultimate assassin.

Viewing this as a threat to his business, Blitzo decides to gather the team to assassinate both scientists and destroy the virus.

Seeing how the team is this time in Sapienza, Italy, I'll be taking into account the potential language barrier again. As far as eliminating the targets goes, I can see IMP not needing to go loud at all. Sapienze provides plenty of sniping vantage spots to eliminate both targets from the other side of the city and Blitzo has proven to be a crack shot with his sniper rifle. The virus itself is a bit more tricky, as it's secure in the underground lab beneath Caruso's mansion. But there is still a stealthy solution there.

The underground lab connects to a dock that is opposite a small island. Use the Ars Goetia to portal over to that island or one of the boats and snipe the stalagmite overtop the virus's containment unit. Done. IMP is capable of being stealthy when they want to be. They just don't always want to be. Depends on what's more convenient for them at the moment.

Of course, they're not gonna care if anyone finds the bodies and that'll put them on the radar of Providence, the secret society bsnkrolling Caruso's experiment. This will be an issue for them in the next hit.

A Guilded Cage

Banker Claus Hugo Strandberg and General Reza Zaydan are co-conspiring a plan to turn the country of Morocco into a military state. After Hugo stole millions from the Moroccan people, he had his envoy break him out of jail in a violent coup, inspiring outraged riots and protests around the country. Zaydan plans to escalate these riots and use them as an excuse to enact martial law and overthrow the government. A wrench is thrown into the works when one of the security guards killed during Strandberg's escape is sent to hell and hires IMP to get revenge.

Strandberg is easy. He's held up in a news station that was turned into an impromptu fortress to protect himself from the angry mobs outside. All IMP needs to do is spark those riots into an open conflict. Blitzo has used his superhuman luck to spark large brawls under far less favorable circumstances and all he'd have to do here is shoot a guard from inside the crowd. Most of Strandberg's security will be distracted by the mob while a small portion stays to escort him to safety. This gives IMP the opportunity to burst into the building and shoot down everyone they see, including Strandberg, then get out in the chaos.

This will give Zaydan the opportunity to launch the second part of his plan, ordering his men to "secure" the city while he sits around comfortably in his military base. Zaydan earned his place through nepotism and ass kissing, so he'd never risk himself in active combat. This makes things... very difficult for IMP.

IMP has only fought one group with a level of skill comparable to an actual genuine army of a country. The demon hunting D.H.O.R.K.S. And they did as well as they did partially because D.H.O.R.K.S refused to use modern weapons like guns except as a last resort. Even then, IMP eventually had to be bailed out by Stolas. This is especially possible here, as Zaydan's forces will likely be buffed up by his backers in Providence after what happened to Caruso.

However, IMP can play this smart by letting the military stay distracted by the rioting crowds, but getting to Zaydan is going to be much trickier now. Zaydan will likely be managing the occupation from his office in the old school he turned into his base. This should allow IMP to pull out the really big rocket launcher and blow up his office from the roof of the building across the block, then portal out before the military can retaliate. It's tricky, but if IMP plays their cards right, they should take this one.

Club 27

After indie rock sensation Jordan Cross murders his girlfriend Hannah Highmoore in a fit of drunken rage, his corrupt lawyer, Ken Morgan gets him acquitted of all charges. Ms. Highmoore hires IMP in Hell to get revenge.

Yeah, IMP clean sweeps this one pretty handily. This one takes place in a massive hotel in Bangkok. Ken is freely roaming around the premises with exactly one bodyguard. While Jordan's presence has greatly increased security due to his rich Providence member father, there's only so much they can do to lock down such a public area. Especially as Providence's last two run ins with IMP involved them messing up their grander plans, not going after their family members, so they wouldn't be expecting it.

IMP could shoot their way through the whole hotel and still pull this off honestly.

Freedom Fighters

Here we go. The big one.

Lucas Grey, one of 47's fellow clones, has been stagging a secret war on his creators in Providence from his secret base in Colorado. He's hired lieutenants from all over the globe and turned some the most dangerous terrorists in the world to his side. These include explosives expert Sean Rose, former anti-terror analyst Penelope Graves, psychological torture expert Ezra Berg, and professional freedom fighter Maya Parvati.

One of Grey's officers tries to betray him to Providence and Grey kills him, sending him to hell. The officer decides to get his revenge by hiring IMP to dismantle his operation and kill his four main lieutenants listed above.

I'm gonna be honest, IMP can't fight their way through this one. Not with stats equalized anyways.

These are some of the very best that the Hitman universe can offer. The most dreaded terrorists from all over the globe trained to perfection by Lucas Grey. One of the only people in the world who can fight 47 head on and win. One of the only assassins to sneak up on Agent 47 himself. Frankly in a stats equalized fight, Grey one on ones any of IMP. They're not fighting through a whole army of people trained by him.

This small farm has been converted into a military base and everyone on site is armed to the teeth. So what's IMP to do?

Disguises. This is the only level thus far where everyone is canonically speaking and can perfectly understand English. Other than arguably Club 27. IMP can sell themselves as the assassins who took out Caruso and Strandberg looking for more work. While IMP likely won't know what Providence is by this point, the Freedom Fighters will still be very interested in working with the people who unknowingly stopped their plans in Morocco and Italy.

This won't likely earn them an audience with Grey himself though. Grey despises most of the terrorists he works with, viewing them as strictly a means to an end, and IMPs tendency towards collateral would put them at the top of his "dispose of as soon as convenient" list. He'd also be suspicious as to why he hadn't heard of them until recently and keep them at arms reach overall. Which is fine, as he's not on their list anyways.

Honestly, given IMP's complete lack of history in this world up to this point (baring prior kills from their own series), Grey might think they're more clones like himself and 47. I don't know if that'd improve his opinion of them or worsen it, but it would be hilarious.

From there, it's as simple as "wait to get invited to next strategy meeting and blow everyone away" before immediately portaling out before everyone 8n the building comes to kill them. Grey's operation continues mostly unharmed, as he planned to eliminate those four lieutenants anyways, but he's left very confused and concerned as to how the fuck IMP managed to disappear on him like that.

Situs Invertus

Alright, last stop.

Erich Soders is a former International Contracts Agency member who sold out his organization to Providence so they'd bankroll a life saving medical operation in Hokkaido, Japan. Yakuza lawyer Yuki Yamazaki is tasked to oversee the transaction. One of Soders's old victims sees this as an opportunity to get revenge and hires IMP to kill them both, with Yuki as collateral damage to punish Providence for trying to save his life.

Right away, loud is the only option here. The hospital is run by an AI and operates off of mechanical doors that scan for keycards in a patient or staff member's clothes. 47 got around by pretending to be a patient, but thst won't work for IMP because... well... demons. So, blow it all up it is.

That aside, IMP cakewalks this. Security is gonna prioritize escorting the patients away from the gunfight, which won't be an option for Soders mid-operation, so nothing stops IMP from going straight for him and Yuki. What's worse is the only way off the mountain is by cable car, so if Yuki nearly escapes, IMP can just shoot the car down. Clean sweep.

Conclusion:

So, both sides, more often than not, clear both rounds. I find it amusing that 47 didn't even need his wackier gadgets to get past the supernatural stuff of Helluva Boss. He could get through his targets with very mundane solutions. And I also appreciate IMP inadvertently smashing apart all the careful conspiracies of the Hitman-verse like the wrecking ball of death they are. Ironically, they struggled a lot more with completing Hitman's contracts that 47 did completing theirs, despite the more grounded tone.

Drspite the two series polar opposite tones and settings, this would be a fun crossover. I'd definitely read IMP going through all these assassinations.

This Throwdown is a Draw!

[kenresearch1]

Netherlands EV Equipment Market generated over USD 500 Mn in 2022. Will Netherland support the EV Equipment Market growth trajectory? Ken Research

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Electric Vehicle Equipment Market in Netherlands is a moderately consolidated with highly competitive rivalry among the competitors. Netherlands EV Charging Equipment industry is catered by the domestic and international players. Allego and EV Box together contribute majority of the market share in 2022. CPO’s are battling against each other to offer multiple products, expand manufacturing units in multiple locations.

1.Tesla and Volkswagen OEM has the highest number of car registrations of 97,255 followed by Audi with 17,911 passenger cars registered in 2022.

Netherlands has become Tesla’s biggest market in Europe as Tesla model 3 and Tesla model S are among Europe’s best-selling electric vehicle models, both in terms of vehicles in operation and new car registrations. The major reason is higher tax benefit on BEV passenger cars and wide charging network of Tesla for Electric vehicle in Netherlands.

Volkswagen has shift its focus to electric cars only, from 2033 the company will only produce electric cars in Europe. Top sold Models for Electric cars are Volkswagen’s new ID.3 model and Volkswagen Golf in Netherlands.

Interested to Know More about this Report:- Request for a sample report

 2.EV Charging Equipment market is one of the fastest growing markets in the Netherlands with rising players owing to the government policy to make all new vehicles zero emission by 2030

In 2010 the Netherlands was the first market in the world to launch mass-produced e-vehicles and Formula E-Team became operational.

The Formula E-Team continues in this umbrella deal with the aim of having 15,000 to 20,000 e-cars in operation by 2015, including a properly functioning infrastructure with sufficient national coverage.

Major challenges include high costs for installation & maintenance and less EV drivers in comparison to Electric vehicle infrastructure.

Visit this Link :- Request for custom report

Market Taxonomy

By Type of Electric Vehicles Vehicle

4W

2W

By Application

Public Charging Station

Home Chargers

Private Charging Station

Portable Chargers

By Types of Chargers

AC Charger- Slow Charger

DC Charger- Fast Charger

By Type of Charging station

Private Charging Stations

Public Charging stations

Semi-Public Charging Stations

Fast Charging station

By Application

4W

By Geographic Demand

west

South

East

North

By distribution channels for 4W chargers

Tender

Distributors

Direct sales

Major Players Mentioned in the Report:

Vattenfall

Total Energies

Alfen

Allego

Fastned

New Motion

Tritium

EVIT

Key Target Audience

Electricity Supplier

EV Manufacturers

EV Charging Equipment Manufacturers

EV Charging System Operator

Demand side Transport Operators

Government Bodies

Time Period Captured in the Report:

Historical Period: 2017-2022

Base Period: 2022

Forecast Period: 2022-2027

For More Insights On Market Intelligence, Refer to the Link Below: –

Netherlands EV Charging Equipment Market Outlook to 2027

Related Reports by Ken Research: –

India EV Charging Equipment Market Outlook to FY2026

UAE Electric Vehicle Charging Equipment Market Outlook to 2026

UK EV Charging Equipment Market Outlook to 2027

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