#Best Golf Shirts for Big Guys

[rafeandonlyrafe]

good host

words: 4.1k

warnings: 18+ only!!!, smut, blowjobs, voyeurism, getting off rafes friends :), female receiving oral, riding, protected and unprotected p in v sex, male masturbation, cock warming, men other than rafe fuck reader including ocs

your heels click down the steps, the circle of boys suddenly falling into silence as you enter out the sliding doors onto the patio.

“need anything?” you ask, trying your best to play the good housewife and host now that you and rafe have moved in together.

“couple more beers if you don’t mind.” rafe says, and you nod, tiny skirt swishing as you head back inside, getting as many cold beers as you can carry before hustling back to the outdoor seating area, all the boys eyes moving from the game on the television to you as you bend down and set the beers down on the table, giving them an eyeful down your shirt.

“anything else?” you ask rafe, who wraps his hand around your thigh and tugs you closer, making you giggle as you bend down and press a kiss to his lips.

“why don’t you suck me off?” rafe asks, stroking his hand up, flipping up the bottom of your skirt to show everyone the tiny pink thong you are wearing as his hand grips the flesh of your ass.

“in… in front of everyone?”

“yeah, entertain me. this game is boring as fuck.” rafe watches as you sink to your knees, forever his good girl, listening to whatever he tells you with minimal questions.

rafe glances at the guys as you rub over his crotch, feeling him harden under his khakis. “don’t worry boys, you can use her too after she’s done with me.” 

your eyes widen, glancing at the other guys sitting amongst the couches and chairs. topper and kelce you know well, but theres two more guys whose names you only vaguely remember, chris and ezra. you think that rafe met them golfing, but you usually are only half paying attention when rafe recounts his round of golf to you.

“you good with that baby?” rafe asks, giving you an opportunity to back out, but he knows that you would never.

“of course. whatever you want rafe.” you smile up at him as your fingers work quickly, unbuttoning his shorts with ease, having repeated the action so many times. the zipper is the next thing to be tugged down and open, your hand diving into the open space, rubbing your fingers over his length through the material of his underwear.

“oh, fuck yeah.” rafe groans with a smile on his face, leaning back against the couch as your fingertips get him hard, wanting him to be as thick and big as possible before pulling his dick out, not that rafes size could ever be an embarrassment to him.

“come on baby, suck me.” rafe lifts his hips slightly, allowing you to tug his shorts and underwear down enough for his cock to push free from the confides. you smile at the sight of his dick, forgetting that anyone elses is around as you wrap your hand around the base, stroking a few times until he’s got a bead of precum leaking from his tip, which you quickly lick up, tongue lapping over the head of his cock.

you glance to the side to kelce who is sitting next to rafe, winking at him before lowering your head, your mouth expanding as rafes big cock pushes inside of you. you swallow around his length, drool already beginning to drip down your chin.

“her mouth is so good, just wait till yall feel this.” rafe moans, one hand fisting in your hair, helping you keep your rhythm as he hits the back of your throat, making you gag but not letting it stop your movements.

“i call next.” a voice you realize must be ezra pops up. you slow down at his voice, only slightly, not wanting rafe to be finished too quickly. you have no problem getting his friends off if thats what rafe wants, but you also only crave him, only want his cock, so you plan on relishing in his taste.

“alright, chill, everyone will get a turn.” rafe laughs, proud knowing that his girlfriend is so desired. if he wasn’t so confident in the strength of your relationship, he would beat ezra to a pulp for even thinking about you in a sexual way, but you’re such a good girl for him rafe knows you don’t see another man that way.

you pull off rafes cock to drag your tongue around his head before going over the slit, making rafe squirm slightly, his hand tightening in your hair as you retake his cock in your hand, stroking while your tongue licks along his length, going all the way down to the base before kissing his balls gently.

rafe groans when you take one into your mouth, keeping your sucking gentle because you know how delicate and sensitive his skin there is.

you make sure to give them some good attention while your hand takes care of his cock before you need to have him inside you again, sinking your lips around his cock and quickly building back up to the same rapid pace you know rafe likes.

“close.” rafe groans, his hips rising slightly off the couch, pushing up in time with your head bobbing. you close your eyes and clench your thumb between your first, willing your gag reflex to not force you to pull off as you take him deep.

you suck his cock down, swallowing around his thickness until he pulses inside of your throat, a telltale sign that hes seconds away from bursting. rafes cock suddenly swells and then hes cumming, shooting his load down your throat as you continue to suckle on his cock, pulling off slightly so you can taste sum of his cum on your tongue.

“fuuuuck.” rafe groans, slumping against the couch. you pull off with a happy smile, pressing a kiss to his softening cock. you can’t resist kissing up along his length before you tuck him carefully back into his underwear and shorts.

“good girl.” rafe leans down, kissing your forehead. “why don’t you take your top off then go suck ezra? hmm?”

“okay.” you nod. you tug your shirt up, turning so everyone can see as you toss it to the ground before you reach behind your back, unclipping your bra and letting it fall away. rafe smirks at the boys faces, eyes trained on your chest as you blush under all of their gazes before moving across to the other couch to ezra.

“can i touch?” ezra asks, but not to you as he looks to rafe, who must nod as ezra reaches for your tits, cupping them in his palms, feeling so different to rafes large hands. he swipes his thumbs over your nipples, and while it feels good you don’t want another man to make you moan so easily, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth.

“come on, doll. don’t just sit there get to work.” rafe says, suddenly blinking back to reality, reaching forward while ezra continues to play with your chest while you undo his pants, eyes widening when you realize he’s not wearing underwear as his cock pushes free of its confines.

you wrap your hand around his length, smaller than rafe in length but similar thickness. you begin stroking, watching in fascination at ezras reaction. you glance behind you to make sure rafe is still satisfied and giving his approval.

when rafe gives you a nod to go ahead, you lean forward and take ezra into your mouth, cringing initially at the different taste before you get used to it, rubbing your tongue against the bottom of his cock while you sink down, his cock not going down your throat like rafes does.

“fuck, she is good.” ezra moans. your cheeks flush, realizing you haven’t even pulled out all your tricks yet as you speed up, bobbing your head up and down in a dramatic fashion to show rafe just how good you’re being, obediently getting his friends off.

you don’t savor ezras taste like you do rafes, wanting him to cum quickly as you allow your teeth to gently graze the bottom of his cock, making ezra let out a mix of a shout and a moan.

“god, rafe, are you sure your girlfriends not a porn star?” kelce asks, making you giggle and have to pull off, hand stroking ezra as you wait for rafes answer.

“nah, she only fucks who i let her. you know she was a virgin when we met? now look at her, my fucking slut.” rafe makes sure to emphasis that you belong to him, and while the other boys may be given this chance to use you, they better not get any wrong ideas.

“only a whore for you, rafey.” you giggle, taking ezras cock back into your mouth, also wanting to point out that the only reason you’re interested in even touching any of them is because rafe wants you to, needing to repay his friends for coming over only to watch such a boring game of football.

you suckle at the head of ezras cock before pushing down, nuzzling your nose into his skin as you feel him pulse and then shoot his load in the back of your mouth. you happily swallow before pulling off with a smirk.

“come here.” topper calls to you from the armchair. you stand up and cross over to topper, looking to rafe before back to his friend. 

“can i eat her out?” topper asks, holding your hips in his hands as you stand between his legs.

“yeah.” rafe nods, knowing he’s bragged to topper about how delicious you are, how good the sounds you make get when he’s lapping at your cunt, clearly bragging enough to make topper choose eating you out before receiving head himself.

“but baby-” rafes voice has you turning to look at him. “you’re not allowed to cum. only i can make you cum.”

you nod as topper stands, switching so you can sit down on the armchair. you spread your legs for topper, revealing the tiny thong, already covered with a wet patch as he kneels between your legs.

topper kisses along your thighs teasingly, enjoying feeling your warm flesh as the sound of the football game fills the background. he finally reaches your underwear, his tongue pressing against the wetness, your thighs clenching temporarily before relaxing again, looking to rafe, whose eyes are flickering between the game and you, your open legs with his best friend kneeled between them.

“can i take them off?” topper asks, rafe quickly saying yes. you raise your hips up, fingers gripping into the fabric of the arms of the chair as topper pulls your underwear down, leaving your tiny flouncy skirt on.

he buries his head immediately between your legs, tongue lapping against your cunt as chris grabs your wet thong, bringing it up to his nose and taking a deep sniff of the material.

you frown when he holds onto the material, knowing that all your underwear belongs to rafe, but you don’t say anything yet, losing focus on chris as topper flicks the tip of his tongue over your clit.

“fuck, you are delicious. you guys need to taste.” topper scooches back as kelce shoots forward, taking his place. kelce is far less gentle, shoving his tongue into your hole as you let out a low moan. your hands grip at your tits, massaging them while chris undoes his pants, taking his cock out and wrapping your thong around his length, similar in size to ezras but slightly slimmer.

“such a beautiful pussy.” kelce says, barely pulling away as his words vibrate over your cunt. you whine, eyes flickering between rafe and chris stroking himself with your thong, rubbing it over his length.

kelce focuses on your hole while topper reaches forward to place the pad of his thumb on your clit, making your body shake, feeling overstimulated as a rush of wetness floods over you, knowing you’re bound to drip onto the cushion beneath you.

kelce thrusts his tongue in and out, making you gyrate your hips, wanting more. kelce seems to get the memo when he pulls away, pushing a finger into your cunt, easily able to slide in with how wet you are.

topper switches back to using his mouth, making kelce stretch to finger you as topper sucks at your clit, replacing his thumb and bringing you even more pleasure.

“remember, princess, don’t cum.” rafe reminds you, eyes quickly turning back to the tv when a good play happens.

“but hes so good at head.” you whine, telling the truth, topper has a talented mouth, using his lips, tongue and even teeth as they graze over your sensitive skin.

kelce laughs at rafes frown as he pushes a second finger into you, pulling his cock out with his free hand and stroking, now two of the boys getting themselves off as chris continues. you don’t want the thong back anymore, knowing he’s going to ruin it with cum soon enough.

its like topper is trying to make you break rafes rule and force you into an orgasm, his eyes closed as he focuses on your pleasure, trying desperately to bring it out of you.

“p-please.” you whine, kelces fingers moving faster, pumping into you with obscene sounds spreading. you can’t help the almost nonstop moans, eyes flickering to chris’s cock then face as he paints your thong white before slumping down, his cock pulsing.

“can i fuck her? please let me fuck her.” kelce asks, looking to rafe, squeezing his cock knowing he won’t last much longer.

“yeah.” rafe shrugs. “let me make her cum first.” he says as halftime begins, using the break in the game to his advantage as he walks over to you, chest heaving as topper continues right up until rafe taps him out. you let out a sigh of relief, not sure how much longer you would have lasted.

rafe sinks down, pushing kelces hand away too as his fingers instantly take the spot of pumping into you, already feeling so much better, longer and more familiar. 

“lets see if my mouth is better.” rafe smirks, and you know you’re bound to cum quickly as his head drops, instantly sucking your clit into his mouth with a level of fervor that he rarely gives you, clearly wanting to prove that no one can pleasure you like he can.

you scream out, not able to control your squeals as your hands grip his hair, holding his head tight to your pussy, the other boys watching as your tits bounce, a light gleam of sweat making them look even more appetizing. 

you cum quickly with such force that your entire body shudders, shaking as rafe gently licks you through your high, keeping his fingers lodged deep inside of you.

“good girl.” he smiles, kissing your thigh before moving up to peck your lips, even as you still breath heavily, jaw slack.

“now you’re gonna ride kelce for me right? be my good girl and make him cum.” rafe questions, and you quickly nod, swallowing as you look to kelce, who has now sat himself on the couch, his large cock almost rivaling rafes.

“put a condom on, man.” rafe says as he stands up. “you’re not taking my girl raw, are you crazy?”

kelce hustles to grab his wallet, not wanting to upset rafe and lose out on the opportunity as you pull your skirt off to bring yourself totally nude, somehow still feeling comfortable in front of all the mostly dressed men, just happy to be doing what rafe wants and entertaining his friends.

you move over to the couch after kelce has rolled the condom on, straddling his lap and grinding down against his dick, rubbing it between your folds. usually in this position you’d be making out with rafe, but you really don’t want to kiss anyone else but him, so you keep your back straight.

“come on.” kelce grabs your ass, grinding you down harder, clearly tired of the teasing, especially since he’s already been stroking himself.

you giggle at his impatience and reach down, lining his cock up with your entrance before sinking down, moaning slightly at his length, not used to the rubber since rafe never uses condoms, but kelce feels pretty similar.

you immediately begin to bounce, not caring about your pleasure, knowing you won’t be able to cum from this anyways. kelces hand gripping your ass helps you move, making sure to keep a quick pace, clenching your cunt around his cock every time you pull off.

“such a pretty girl.” rafe coos, reaching out to grip your chest, palm swallowing your bouncing tit. “give me a kiss, come on.”

you sink down on kelces cock, grinding gently as you lean over to rafe, pressing a kiss against his lips, giving him a soft smile, ignoring the way kelce instantly begins to buck his hips up into you.

“you’re doing so good for me.” rafe says. “thank you for helping my boys out and keeping us entertained.” “just wanna make you happy.” you tell rafe, stroking your thumb over his cheek before kissing him again, mouth so sweet against his, in sharp contrast to the way kelce is thrusting up into your pussy, grunting and groaning as he clearly struggles to hold back, but you’re too focused on rafe.

“love you.” you whisper against rafes lip, his tongue sweeping out to enter your mouth as kelce lets out a final shout, holding your hips down as he cums into the condom. you slide off the second he’s done, crawling onto rafes lap to continue to kiss.

“gonna take you for a massage tomorrow.” rafe says, rubbing over your thighs, knowing he’s putting your body through a lot. “and a shopping spree.” “mkay.” you smile, fluttering your eyelashes at rafe before turning, seeing toppers dick out, having retaken his spot in the armchair, just now without pants.

“want me to suck you off now top?” you question, wanting to return the head that he gave you.

“can i-” he swallows roughly “can i fuck you too?”

“aww, of course sweetie!” you stand up, moving over to topper. he’s always been your favorite amongst rafes friends. he will hold conversations with you when you’re hanging out, unlike the other guys who are mostly just scared to touch rafes things. you’re wonder how much will change after today.

topper stands up, gesturing for you to get on the chair. you kneel on it, pushing your chest into the back of the couch as toppers hands rub over your ass. you look back at him, nodding that he can start whenever.

“condom.” rafe calls out as a reminder, making topper groan quietly, hoping he could get away with it, but he grabs a condom offered to him from kelce and rolls it on.

you giggle at his face, one of pure pleasure before he even gets inside of you. topper rubs his cock through your folds, still dripping onto the seat as he suddenly pushes forward, burying his entire length inside of you.

you let out a moan, head falling against the back of the seat, surprised by how big topper feels from this angle. he begins to thrust, keeping his movements slow but deep, making sure to fully press against your ass, using his hands on your hips to keep you still.

“goddamn, i wanna fuck her too.” ezra groans.

“nah, she’s gonna sit on my cock next, you already cummed.” rafe says, feeling a slightly bit of jealousy bubble up in his gut from watching you give pleasure to another man.

“alright, i call first for fucking her next time.” ezra concedes.

“no way bro, she didn’t even touch me! i’m getting her first.” chris argues as topper begins to move faster, the argument being drowned out by both of your moans.

“need i remind you she is my girl? i get to choose who uses her. you’re lucky she’s being such a good hostess and willing to entertain yall, dont ruin it by fighting.” rafe warns.

chris and ezra quietly agree and apologize. rafe glances again at you, your pussy squelching each time topper pushes his hips in. if he was a less confident man, he would shove top away and show you how only he can fuck you right, but at the end of the day, rafe knows you only want him.

“don’t-don’t rub my clit.” you warn topper when he reaches around you to touch your pussy.

“gonna cum if i do?” he questions, grinning when you nod. he’s not used to taking such a dominant role, liking how you are clearly brought to pleasure by him.

“you better not, brat.” rafe warns, reminding you of his rule as topper listens and places his both his hands back on your hips, not wanting you to get in trouble with rafe after being such a good girl.

topper snaps his hips faster, not ashamed to cum quickly considering how easily some of the other guys busted. he can only hold off for a few more minutes, especially when you start pushing your hips back.

“i-i’m close.” topper warns seconds before he cums, letting out a string of moans as you continue to slowly move on his cock, letting his high run its course before he pulls out, the condom filled with white.

“come on, princess.” rafe reaches his hand out to you as you stumble over to him, thighs now tired but willing to have a little more energy for rafe to do whatever he pleases for you.

“you’ve been such a good girl, come take a seat.” rafe says, and you realize he had gotten his cock out again at some point. “you can watch the last quarter with us, yeah?” 

you nod, turning so your ass is in rafes face as you slowly lower down, moaning when his big cock stretches you out. you settle all the way down until he’s pressed right up against your cervix, leaning your back into rafes chest. he grabs his beer off the side table next to him, taking a sip while you relax, eyes turning to the game as well.

the other guys can sense that you’re finished, tucking themselves away and retaking their position to watch the game. you don’t miss chris pushing your underwear into his pocket. you’ll have to buy another pair when rafe takes you on a shopping trip tomorrow.

the game is just as boring as rafe says it was, and you understand why he needed some entertainment, the only touchdown being scored in the first half. you aren’t the biggest fan of watching sports in general, but having rafes cock inside of you makes it a lot more enjoyable. he even gives you a couple sips of his beer.

the game ends with little fanfare, making all the boys sigh, just happy that it’s over but disappointed as a whole.

“i trust you boys can see yourselves out.” rafe pipes up, looking around at his friends. “i need to fuck my lady now.”

the boys take their cue, quickly grabbing whatever they brought and heading out, but topper stops as he passes you. “thank you for being such a good host.”

“thank you for the good head.” you giggle, making rafes hand squeeze tighter on your thigh. topper smiles before leaving, kelce also taking the opportunity to mumble a thank you after toppers lead.

“don’t invite chris back.” you say, glad that you were able to get away with not touching him. “he kinda gives me the creeps.”

rafe laughs but nods, “whatever you want baby girl. thank you for doing that.” “of course.” you nod. “it’s part of living with you, keeping your friends stocked up on beers and also making them cum.”

“how in the world did i find a girl as perfect as you?” rafe says softly, moving you suddenly before you can even comprehend, your back being pressed into the sofa as rafe kneels between your legs, shoving his cock back deep in your cunt.

you giggle, cheeks turning red. “i just love you so much. wanna make you happy.”

“you make me very happy, baby.” rafe says, pressing a kiss to your lips before beginning to pump his cock into you, your moans drowning out the tv still on in the background.

“your cock is perfect.” you hum, eyes sliding shut as rafe pounds into you, going deep and hard after being buried inside of you without moving for so long. “no one else compares to you.”

“and don’t you forget it, baby.” rafe smirks.

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[ridher]

on the opposite side of this post, imagine being rafe's girl bsf

"we're just friends", was something said all too often between the two of you — at least one of you meant it.

being childhood best friends seemed to be the only reason the boundary stayed in place. you didn't see him beyond the boy you'd grown up with and fully believed he thought the same.

obviously, rafe didn't see it that way. the girl next door who for some reason stuck by him being, you know, him. he's just a guy after all, how is he supposed to resist such a pretty girl who constantly accompanies him around town?

you're his first choice. whether he's going out to the country club for a round of golf, or literally dealing drugs on the couch at some kook's house party — he wants to be with you. sure, he has other friends, but they don't cling to his side or press friendly kisses to his cheek.

as much as it pains him that you're so close yet so out of reach, he'd never make a move. beyond how his body physically reacts to your soft touches or sweet smile, you're all he feels he truly has. the one person on his side.

speaking of the party scene, of course you arrive with him. he'll guide you through the house with a hand on the small of your back, the warmth felt against your skin through the fabric of the tight little dress you wear. no matter how many times you pad off to dance with your friends or get a likely unneeded refill of some exotic drink, you always find yourself back at his side.

that is until you can't. when you're stumbling back from the kitchen and see rafe, whispering in the ear of another girl. there's no reason for you to be upset when he follows her upstairs — his hand holding her how he did you earlier, making the alcohol feel as though it's rising up your stomach.

he has to compensate somehow and one night stands seem to be his solution. he'll come back down as though nothing happened, running a hand through his hair to collect himself.

that's when the night ends and your bratty behavior is blamed on the stupid amount of drinking you'd done. rafe drags you along with a firm grip on your upper arm as you make it purposefully difficult for him — thrashing around and trying to wriggle free. he manages to manhandle you into the passenger seat of his truck before he's fed up.

"calm the fuck down, would you?" he huffs impatiently after aggressively grabbing your cheeks with one rough hand and forcing your eyes to focus on him.

you go all pouty and stare up at him with big, glossed-over eyes, expression softening at the way he shows he cares. a little jostle and exasperated 'hm?' has you nodding in response through a drunken hiccup.

you're released and left to stare out the windshield, thoughts swirling the whole ride home — all of which concerning rafe.

the night is a blur when you wake up in your own bed the next morning, changed into one of rafe's t-shirts you'd probably stolen and the same pair of panties from last night. you know how you got here because you're greeted with a text from your best friend, simply reading;

'How's the head party girl?'

you'll probably see him later that day for a hungover brunch.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Dick’s

pairing: Peter Parker x reader

synopsis: the only good part of your job at Dick’s Sporting Goods is how often Peter comes in to buy repairs for his suit

Masterlist

“Back so soon?”

“What?” Peter looked up and pulled his earbud out when he heard you say something. You chuckled when you heard the music coming through his earbuds and continued scanning the spandex shirt he was buying.

“You were here two nights ago.” You reminded him. “And four days before that. You’re here all the time, actually.”

“Yeah, I am. How’d you know that?” Peter blushed as you handed him the bag of his stuff. You looked around for anyone who might be listening before motioning for Peter to come closer. His blush deepened and he leaned across the register.

“I work here.” You whispered in his ear. You cracked a smile as you leaned back and pointed to the Dick’s Sporting Goods logo on your uniform shirt.

“Right.” He laughed shyly. “Sorry.”

“It’s all cool. I’m sorry that I work here too.” You shrugged, making Peter laugh again.

“It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“The name of the store is Dick’s.” You said flatly. “And apparently, that’s the only kind of people they hire here.”

“Yeah. I asked someone for help finding the nuts and bolts and he asked if I looked in my mouth.” Peter admitted. Your jaw dropped in surprise before you burst out laughing.

“Who was it?” You asked him. “Did he have red hair?”

“Yeah. In the hardware section.”

“Fucking Jeremy. I’ll kick his ass for you, okay? I’m pretty sure he’s like 13 or something but I’ll still do it.” You said, and Peter couldn’t tell if you were joking or not.

“That’s really not necessary.” He laughed shyly.

“All right.” You nodded. “Just know that I would. I’ve been looking for a reason to kick his ass anyway.”

“Why?” Peter wondered.

“Didn’t you see his face? It’s so punchable. Plus, he watches videos in the break room at full volume with no earbuds in. And if he thinks the video is funny, he’ll rewatch it multiple times. So then we all have to hear this loud, unfunny video multiple times. It drives me crazy. He deserves to get his ass kicked. I might do it just for fun now.”

“His face was pretty punchable.” Peter admitted.

“Can we hurry this up? This is taking way too long.” A man behind Peter complained, making your smile fall.

“That’s what she said.” You mumbled as you grabbed Peters receipt.

“To him.” Peter replied. You looked up at him and smiled in surprise.

“Because he’s probably bad at sex.” Peter explained in a weak voice.

“No, I got it. And I appreciated it. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Peter laughed shyly.

“One last question for you. Then I have to help Mr. Clean with his very important purchase of golf ball cleaner.” You said as you nodded towards the guy behind Peter.

“Oh, sure. Ask away.”

“Are you listening to Judas by Lady Gaga?” You asked and pointed to Peters earbuds. He turned red in embarrassment and thought about lying, but you clearly already knew.

“It’s her best song.” He said simply.

“Oh, I know that.” You assured him. “I just wanted to make sure that you know that.”

“Oh, I do.” He matched your tone, making you smile.

“Well all right then. Have a good night. See you really soon probably.” You teased him.

“Yeah. See you soon.” Peter smiled at you as he took his receipt.

Peter practically skipped out of Dicks that night. He frequented the store every time his suit needed a repair and had seen you working there a few times, forever looking miserable behind the cash register. He just never thought you’d notice him too.

A few nights later, Peter busted the eye on his mask while on patrol. He dropped his suit off at home and when to Dick’s Sporting Goods to get something to replace it. When he brought it up to the register to buy and smiled when he saw you.

“Hey.” You smirked at him and blew a bubble with your gum.

“Hey.” He smiled softly at you.

“Gum?”

“What?” He asked. You wordlessly held up a pack of Big League Chew and blew another bubble.

“Oh, no thank you. I’m driving.” He replied without thinking. He felt embarrassed for malign a stupid joke but you cracked up over it.

“I use that joke all the time.” You laughed. “Except I usually say “no thanks, I’m trying to quit.” I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I like yours better.” Peter tried to flirt.

“You can steal it. I won’t mind.” You winked at him and blew another big pink bubble. Peter gulped as you handed him his bag.

“Thanks. Have a good night.”

“You too.” You called after him as he left the store.

He returned a few days later, not that he needed anything. He was here for you this time. He came into the store at night with a plan to learn your name. It wasn’t much, but it was a step towards getting to know you better.

“Hey, Judas Boy.” You waved to Peter from behind the register.

“Hey, Dick’s girl.” He waved back and grabbed some spandex before heading to the register.

“Oh, thank God.” You said sarcastically. “You haven’t bough red and blue spandex shirts in almost a week. I was worried you were going to run out.”

“I almost did. This week has not been easy.” Peter humored you. You smiled when he played along and put his stuff into a bag.

“How come you guys don’t wear name tags?” Peter asked you as he put his plan into action.

“We’re supposed to. We’re also supposed to wear hard shoes and khaki pants.” You said behind your hand and pointed your foot out from behind the register to show him your leggings and crocs.

“I see. Not much of a rule follower?”

“I can be. But not for Dicks. Nothing for Dicks.” You said with such passion he couldn’t tell if you were kidding or not.

“But where else can you find a spandex section like this?” Peter joked and held up his bag.

“Models. Target. Walmart. Patagonia.“ You started to list off.

“Okay, sure.” Peter agreed. “But Dicks is the only one that carries red and blue.”

“Oh, I see. And red is blue is the only kind you can buy?” You chuckled.

“Obviously. What am I supposed to wear? Black?” Peter grimaced, making you laugh again.

“Why do you need all this stuff anyway? I’ve always wondered that. Why could you possibly be doing that you need all this red and blue spandex clothing?”

“Cause I’m Spiderman.” Peter said with a simply shrug. He held his breath and hoped you take that as a joke, which of course, you did.

“That’s hot.” You smirked and handed him his receipt.

“Have a good night.” He told you.

“Night.”

Peter was back just a few nights later. He never actually learned your name, so he technically had an excuse to return. He brought a spandex shirt up to the register and you laughed when you saw it.

“I think you’re single handedly funding our red and blue spandex supply.”

“Really? I’m the only one who buys it?”

“Just you.” You nodded. “My boss said he wasn’t gonna order anymore but I told him that would be making one special customer very unhappy.”

“You told him to order more just for me?” Peter smiled shyly and felt his blush go all the way to his ears.

“Duh.” You scoffed. “I gotta earn that sweet, sweet $15 an hour somehow. Pleasing one specific customer is how I choose to do it.”

“$15 an hour to work by yourself every night is insane. But I don’t even get paid for my job, so I’m not one to talk.”

“What is your job?” You wondered.

“I told you. I’m Spiderman.”

“No, but really.” You laughed. Peter looked down at the spandex and tried to think of any other profession that could explain why he was always buying it.

“I’m a male ballerina.” He said finally.

“For real?” Your eyes widened. “That’s way cooler.”

“Cooler than Spiderman?”

“Hell yeah.” You scoffed. “I’ve never seen Spiderman do a pas de deux.”

“I’ve never seen anyone do a pack de- um…”

“Pas de deux.” You chuckled when he couldn’t say the word.

“Yeah. That.” He blushed again.

“Have a good night then, nutcracker.” You said with a wink.

“Night, Dick‘s girls.”

The next time Peter came into the store, he had to stay away from the spandex section. May was getting suspicious about why he was buying so much when his suit didn’t have any visible damage, so he had to think of something else.

“Gummy worms?” You asked as Peter dropped a bag of sour gummy worms on the counter.

“You sell them. So I’m buying them.” He shrugged. You laughed as you scanned it and looked up at him.

“Do you live around here?”

“About 4 blocks away.” He answered. “Why?”

“Because this is New York. Which means you had to have passed, at the very least, 4 corner stores to get here. All of which sell gummy worms. And yet, you chose to walk all the way to a sporting goods store to get them. Why is that?” You asked as you leaned on the counter.

“I didn’t need spandex tonight.” He admitted as a blush painted his cheeks.

“Then why’d you come out here?” You smirked.

“Because I’m a stalker. And I’m learning your schedule so I can smite you and wear your skin.” He replied without thinking. He held his breath again but was sure you would not find a joke about him killing you to be funny. But to his surprise, you smirked in amusement.

“That’s hot.” You said replied. “Can you cover my shifts for me once you start wearing my skin?”

“Sure.” He shrugged.

“Cool. Enjoy your worms.” You chuckled and handed him his candy. Peter was about to leave when he decided to rip open the bag and hand you a worm.

“For your troubles, madam.” He said, then made a dash for the door. He heard you laughing as he walked out into the street, making it all worth while.

Peter returned to the store the next day but felt his heart sink in disappointment when he didn’t see you behind the register. He turned to leave and jumped when you were standing right behind him.

“Have you ever seen Black Swan?” You asked him.

“What? Jesus Christ. You scared me.” He said and put his hand over his pounding heart.

“You’re a male ballerina, right? You must’ve seen Black Swan.”

“No. I’ve never heard of it.” Peter answered as his eyes darted to the side.

“That was the face of a man who has 100% seen lezzy wet dream scene from Black Swan.” You laughed and pointed to him.

“Maybe once or twice.” His whispered.

“Well I’m going on break now and I was gonna go watch it in the storage room.”

“Oh. That sounds fun.”

“You wanna come?” You asked him like it was the most casual suggestion in the world. Peter looked around to see if any customers or employees were watching before following you into the back. He knew he shouldn’t be walking through a door that said “employees only”, but he wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to hang out with you.

“Am I allowed back here?” Peter whispered and stayed close behind you.

“Probably not.” You shrugged and led him to the storage room. You shut the door behind the two of you and sat down on one of the shelves.

“Will you get in trouble?” Peter asked as he took a seat beside you.

“Maybe.” You shrugged again and pulled the movie up on your phone.

“I don’t want to get you in trouble with your manager. I’d feel horrible.”

“Dude, my manger is 17 and high as a kite right now.” You snorted. “He won’t care as long as we don’t interrupt his vape session.”

“Oh. Okay.” Peter relaxed and leaned against the wall. You shoulders were touching and he realized this was the closest you’d ever been.

“Here. I didn’t want to subject you to using a strangers earbuds so I stole this from the front.” You said as you pulled new earbuds out of your pocket. You tore them out of the plastic casing and plugged them into your phone before offering Peter one.

“They’re your favorite colors, right?” You asked in a soft voice. The earbuds were red and blue, the only colors Peter ever bought. They weren’t actually his favorite colors, just the color of his suit, but he thought it was cute that you specifically got this pair thinking he’d like the colors.

“Yeah. Red and blue are great.” He smiled softly and put his earbud in. You put the other in and started the movie. Peter couldn’t pay attention to a single second because the smell of your perfume was triggering all his senses. He stared at you instead of the screen until his eyes landed on the earbuds connecting you.

“I can’t believe you stole for me.” He said with a smug grin.

“Relax. I don’t do it often. But I did also steal these for you.” You said and pulled a pack of gummy worms out of your other pocket. Peters face lit up and he opened the worms before handing you one. Your fingers touched at one point when you both reached for a word and he gulped.

“When did you take these anyway?” He wondered.

“A couple hours ago when I first clocked in.” You replied. “I made sure to wait until I was on the company’s time before I took them. I don’t do anything here until I’m on the company’s time.”

“So you knew you were going to ask me to watch this with you when you first got here?” He asked as a smile crossed his face. You looked up from the movie and sheepishly turned to face him.

“You always come in at this time. And I’ve always wanted to see this movie. I figured you’d like it because you like ballet. Is that weird?” You asked, sounding nervous for the first time.

“No. It’s not weird.” Peter shook his head to assure you. You smiled in appreciation and nodded before turning back to the movie. Peter was able to focus on it now, but couldn’t stop sneaking glances at you.

“I love getting paid to watch gay movies.” You sighed happily as the movie neared its end.

“You need to make money somehow. God, I need a job. I’m gonna go broke from this store alone.”

“You’ve never looked at your receipt, have you?” You chuckled and looked over at him.

“No. Why?”

“Every time you come in here, I only charge you for tic tacs.” You admitted. “No matter what you buy, I just remove the tag and then scan a pack of wintergreen tic tacs.”

“Wait, seriously? Why?” He smiled curiously and turned to face you.

“Because then I can eat the tic tacs without feeling bad about stealing since you paid for them.” You shrugged. “And so that you don’t give all your money to Dick’s Sporting Goods just to fuel your spandex fetish. You only ever spend a dollar or so when you come here. I can’t believe you never realized that.”

“So you’ve been saving me money this whole time? Those shirts are like $15 each.”

“Isn’t that crazy?” You chuckled. “An hour of my work is worth a single, thin shirt. That makes me feel less guilty about never making you pay.”

“You’re really cool for that. Thanks.” Peter said sincerely.

“Yeah, well. I think you’re cool too.” You shrugged and looked down so he couldn’t see your smile. Peter stared at you with a dreamy smile on his face until he noticed the clock behind you.

“How long is your break?” He wondered.

“15 minutes.” You shrugged.

“15 minutes?! We’ve been back for over an hour.” Peter whispered harshly.

“Jeremys got it.” You waved your hand. “I cover for him all the time. He owes me.”

“Okay, good.” Peter sighed. “As long as you won’t get in trouble.”

“Will you stop worrying about me? I’ll be fine. You need to start breaking a few rules every now and then. Do you always do exactly what you’re expected to?”

“You’d be surprised.” Peter mumbled and debated telling you the reason he was always buying red and blue spandex. You noticed he had a far off look in his eyes and moved his chin to make him look at you.

“You never told me your name, by the way.” You said in a soft voice.

“It’s Peter.” He replied as his eyes dropped to your lips. “What’s yours?”

“Y/N!” Jeremey came barging into the m storage room, making you and Peter jump away from each other.

“Oh, there you are.” Jeremy smiled calmly. “Can you help me ring this guy up? He has a coupon but it’s expired.”

“So then he doesn’t have a coupon.”

“I know but he’s being really annoying about it and told me to get the manger but Kyle is vaping and said not to disturb him.” Jeremy whined.

“Damn, still? How long has this kid been vaping for? Are we even sure he’s alive?” Peter asked.

“Wait, who’s that?” Jeremy frowned and pointed to Peter. You and Peter exchanged a panicked look.

“That’s Peter. He works the night shift.” You said quickly.

“I’m Peter. I work the night shift.” Peter nodded in agreement.

“Oh. Okay. I don’t really care. You could’ve been back here smocking crack and sucking dick with a total stranger and I would not have batted an eye. Lord knows I’ve done it. But I do really need your help with the coupon.”

“Ugh. Fine.” You grumbled and got up to go follow Jeremy. Peter got up as well to let himself out.

“See you later, Peter.” You squeezed his arm before heading back to the register. Peter touched the part of his arm where you’d hand had been and smiled softly.

“See you later.”

Peter walked out of the store with a huge smile on his face. But loud noises coming from dumpster behind the store caught Peters attention. He climbed up the wall and walked along the roof so he could scope out what was going on. When Peter saw two guys trying to pick the lock to the back door, he quickly pulled his suit out of his backpack and put it on. He dropped down behind the two guys and cleared his throat when they didn’t hear him.

“Hey guys. I guess you didn’t see the front door. It’s right around the block under the huge, glowing sign that says Dick’s.” Peter said sarcastically. The guys stopped what they were doing and wiped around.

“Woah. It’s the Spiderman.” One of the guys gasped.

“Why do people always say “the” Spiderman?” Peter wondered. “It’s just Spiderman. I was very clear about that when I first started.”

“Let’s get this freak.” The other guy said and started walking towards Peter.

“Before we fight, I should let you guys know that two against one isn’t really fair when the one has web shooters.” Peter said as he raised his fists. His cocky smile disappeared when three more guys came out of the shadows and closed in on him. The five guys took turns punching and kicking Peter until he laid on the ground in a ball. He struggled to catch his breath and coughed up some blood as one of the guys delivered another kick to his stomach. One of them rolled him over and climbed on top of him with his fist raised in the air. Peter accepted his fate and was about to shut his eyes when a hammer, still in its package, came flying through the air and hit the guy in the head. The man grunted in pain and fell off of Peter. This gave Peter enough time to crawl away as more hammers were thrown in the direction of the men. Peter weakly looked up and saw you standing in the doorway with a bunch of hammers in your arms that you were haphazardly throwing at the men.

“Eat my hammer!” You yelled and threw another hammer at the head of one of the guys. Peter let out a weak laugh and clutched his side in pain.

“Dick’s girl?” He asked groggily.

“It’s Y/n.” You reminded him and threw another hammer. This time, one of the guys caught the hammer and started running towards you. Before Peter could get up to protect you, you pulled a bowling ball out from the floor beneath you and threw it at the guy. He was knocked to the ground as you pulled something else behind your bat. When you stepped under a streetlight, Peter as able to see you had taken a lacrosse stick from the store. You whacked one of the guys across the face so hard that he fell to the ground. You swept the leg of another guy, leaving only one standing. Peter held his aching body as you fearlessly walked up to the final goon.

“Spiderman over here is my friend. He’s one of the much, much friendlier Avengers. But not me. I’m fucking mental. I was trained in kung fu for the moment I could walk. I was raised to be a weapon. You don’t want to mess with me.” You said to the man as your rung the lacrosse stick in your hands.

“Oh please. I’ve taken shits bigger than you.” The man sneered and pointed to you. You smirked and caught his finger between your thumb and index finger while keeping your pinky upright.

“You see this? This is called the Wuxi Finger hold. If I bend my pinky, your chi is gonna be so fucked that all the bones in your body will break and half this block will be decimated.” You told him

“You’re bluffing.” He scoffed. “That’s not possible.”

“You wanna find out?” You asked and tightened your grip on his finger. The man’s eyes flicked between your face and his finger as he debated whether or not he believed you.

“This chick is crazy. Let’s get out of here.” The guys finally decided and took off running. The four others groaned as the got up and ran away as well. You sighed and threw the bloody lacrosse stick into the dumpster before looking down at Peter.

“So you’re not a male ballerina?”

“No. I’m Spiderman.”

“That’s not as cool.” You mumbled and bent down to help him sit up fully.

“Can you really break all his bones with one finger?” Peter asked you.

“Huh? Oh, no.” You chuckled. “I stole that shit from Kung Fu Panda. Those ska-douches clearly don’t have good taste in movies so they didn’t even realize.”

“Oh.” Peter smiled weakly. “Well, thanks for saving me.”

“You’re welcome, Peter. Come on.” You winked at him and carefully helped him stand up. You wrapped his arm around you and helped him limp his way into the break room. You raided the sports injury aisle before helped Peter up onto a table.

“Am I allowed to be back here?” Peter asked as he pulled his mask off.

“No one’s gonna know. Kyles vaping in the baseball aisle and Jeremy went home.” You said and set the supplies you had taken down on the table beside him.

“Are you allowed to take those?”

“You are quite a rule follower for the face of illegal vigilanteism, you know that?” You chuckled and opened a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

“I’m actually not a vigilante. I’m on Mr. Starks roster. We have government clearance.”

“Okay. So just tell yourself I have government clearance to steal these supplies.” You told him, making him laugh. You laughed as well and started to clean him up. Peter stared at you fondly as you patched up his wounds.

“I really appreciate you trying to help me, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“I’m in charge of filling out the inventory catalogues when we get shipments. I can easily make it look like these supplies never existed. Don’t worry, okay? And even if I do get in trouble, it’ll be worth it.” You said without looking at him.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Peter asked softly. “Why are you always so nice to me?”

“Because I like you.” You shrugged. “I think you’re cool.”

“You do?”

“Is that shocking?” You laughed and cleaned a cut above his eyebrow.

“Kinda. I’m kinda a loser.”

“Really? Because I didn’t see any losers out there tonight. You know, other than those five losers trying to break into a Dick’s sporting goods. I’m really glad all the golf pencils and eye paint are safe.” You said sarcastically. Peter laughed and rested his hands on your hips.

“I like you too, by the way.”

“You do?” You asked skeptically.

“A lot, actually. Sometimes, I don’t even need anything. I just come here and hope you’re working.”

“Well I asked my boss to only schedule me at night because you never come in during the day.” You playfully one upped him.

“Really? You did that because of me?” He smiled fondly.

“You coming in here is the only good thing about this place.” You answered honestly.

“You’re the only reason I come.” Peter told you.

“Ayo.” You snickered.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He laughed sheepishly.

“It’s okay. It was funny.”

“No you know why I’m always in here buying spandex and random things. I bust up my suit a lot and the guy who made it for me isn’t around anymore.”

“It’s a pretty cool suit. I can’t even tell where you’ve patched it up. I guess our spandex is just really high quality.”

“You got some pretty cool clothes yourself. Not everyone can pull off Hunter green.”

“Wanna see something?” You asked and unzipped the green Dick’s zip up on had on to reveal a black T- shirt underneath that read “I heart Dick’s” with the stores logo in the heart.

“I heart dicks? No way that’s a real uniform.” Peter laughed and pulled on your shirt to read it better.

“Yep. I couldn’t believe it either. I guess the Boomers that make our uniforms don’t see penis humor in everything like our generation does. I tried to tell my boss that these shirts were ridiculous but he said he’d fire me if I didn’t wear it. Even though I literally hate Dick’s.”

“You do?”

“Not that kind of dick.” You laughed. “I meant the store. If this place burned down, I wouldn’t pee on it to put it out. In fact, I probably started the fire.”

“Then why don’t you quit?”

“I need a job.” You shrugged. “And they’re super understaffed so they give me a lot of hours. Plus, if I left, how would I see you?”

“We could hang out. Preferably not in a Dick’s sporting goods.” Peter suggested.

“That’s my favorite place to hang out.” You smiled. “Can I give you my number?”

“I mean, if you want.” Peter joked as he handed you his phone. You put his number in and handed it back to him.

“There. That’s my number.”

“It’s hot.” He said as he looked at it. He gulped and looked up at you, thinking you’d find that weird.

“You’re such a weirdo.” You chuckled. “You better text me.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good.” You said and poked his chest. Peter stared at you for a moment as a smile tugged on his lips.

“Would it be weird if we kissed right now?” He asked you.

“Yes.” You scoffed. “You’re covered in blood and gravel.”

“Oh. Yeah. You’re right.” He blushed in embarrassment and nodded his head. You cracked a smile before wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him. Peter felt love in that Dick’s Sporting Goods that night. It was all around him. The kiss ended sooner than he would’ve liked, but it was still perfect.

“Hey, you did it anyway.” He smiled in surprise.

“Yeah, well. I wanted to.” You laughed shyly and kept your arms around his neck.

“And then she kissed me anyway. And she got Neosporin all over her face. And my blood! It was insane, Ned. I wish you could’ve seen her with the lacrosse stick. She destroyed so much store property. It was incredible.” Peter jumped in excitement as he recanted the story to Ned the next day.

“You had your first kiss in Dicks sporting goods?” Ned whispered in awe.

“Uh huh.” Peter nodded.

“What are you guys talking about?” Flash asked as he stuck his head between Peter and Ned.

“Nothing.” Peter said quickly and gave Ned a look.

“Peter kissed the hot Dicks cashier.” Ned blurted.

“Ned!” Peter whispered harshly. “Why would you tell him that?”

“You kissed Alejandro?” Flash gasped and looked jealous.

“What? No. Who even is that?”

“I know all the Dicks sporting goods employees by name. I’m in there all the time buying golf and tennis and bad mitten shit because I’m rich as fuck. If it wasn’t Alejandro, then who was it?” Flash questioned.

“Her name is Y/n. She works the closing shift.” Peter told him.

“Wait, the one with the rebellious gleam in her eyes? No way you kissed her.” Flash snorted. “I’ve been trying to get her number for months.”

“Really? Because I got it last night.” Peter replied with a shrug.

“And a smooch.” Ned added. “On the mouth.”

“He knows where, Ned.” Peter whispered without taking his eyes off Flash.

“There is no way in hell that Penis Parker was macking on a hot cashier. And at Dick’s sporting goods no less.” Flash laughed loudly, drawing the attention of students passing by.

“It’s true.” Peter insisted. “And I don’t care if you believe me or not. Because I know it’s real.”

“Wow. You hear that, everybody? Penis Parker has a fake girlfriend!” Flash shouted in the hallway. People stopped to laugh and point at Peter, making him turn red.

“What? No I don’t.”

“He’s pretending he had a girlfriend who works at Dicks Sporting Goods to make up for the fact that no one will ever touch his dicks sporting goods.” Flash said even louder.

“Oh my God. Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Peter grumbled and Ned followed after him as he left. Once they were out of the crowd, Peter pulled his phone out and looked over your last conversation.

“Do you think it’s weird she hasn’t texted me back in a while?” He asked Ned.

“Well what was the last thing you guys talked about?”

“We were in the middle of a conversation about the best Adam Sandler movie and she ghosted me.” Peter said as he checked the time. Your shift had definitely started by now and he knew you texted on company time.

“Is she working tonight?”

“Yeah. Closing shift.”

“So go visit her.” Ned shrugged.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” Peter worried.

“She wouldn’t have kissed you if she didn’t like you.” Ned reminded him.

“I guess so. Okay. I’ll go see her after class.”

Once Peters last class ended, he pulled out his phone to call you as he walked in the direction of your store. You answered the phone but didn’t say anything.

“Hey. I was just thinking of you.” Peter said into the phone.

“Peter.” You whispered in a shaky voice. He could tell you were crying and froze in his tracks.

“I was planning on stopping by. Is everything okay?” He asked and quickened his pace in the direction of the store.

“No. I don’t think you should come in.” You said quietly. Peter stopped walking and felt his heart sink. You must’ve lost feelings after the kiss and didn’t want to hang out anymore.

“Oh. Oh, okay. No problem. I won’t come by.” He said and tried not to sound as disappointed as he felt.

“But maybe your friend can come in?” You asked, making his senses tingle.

“My friend?” He asked and started towards the store again.

“Yeah. The ballerina.” You replied and he knew exactly what you meant. Peter stopped in an alleyway to throw on his suit before running towards the store.

“Are you in danger?”

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You said with a forced laugh.

“I’ll be right there. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Who are you talking to? Is that a phone? I said all phones in the bag.” Peter heard from your end of the phone. You hung up after that and Peter raced to the store. When he got there, he snuck in through the back and quietly made his way to the front. He found you behind the register with your hands up in the air as a man in a hulk mask stood in front of you.

“Hey, buddy. Let me guess. The last jock strap you bought was too loose you’re back for another one?” Peter said, making the guy whip around. That’s when Peter saw the gun in his hand and froze.

“Oh. My bad. I didn’t see the gun from behind.” Peter said and put his hands in the air. He made eye contact with you from behind the register and you mouthed that you were sorry.

“Why don’t you walk out of here and pretend you didn’t see anything, okay pal?” The man said as he pointed the gun back at you.

“Sorry sir, but I can’t do that. You see, I’m quite taken with the cashier you’re holding at gunpoint here.” Peter said and pointed to you. You let out a short laugh as tears fell down your face.

“Good. Then you can watch me blow her head to bits.” The man said and took a step towards you. You let out a little squeak in fear and shut your eyes.

“Can I convince you to reconsider? She’s got a great head. I’d hate to see it get blown off.” Peter said calmly and slowly made his way towards the man.

“I said you could take the money. Just take it and leave.” You pleaded with the man.

“There was only $36.62 in there. I didn’t rob store for less than 40 bucks.” The man shouted at you.

“No one uses cash anymore.” You whimpered. “It’s all Apple Pay.”

“Then tell me the combination to the safe.” He yelled and tightened his grip on the gun.

“I don’t remember it.” You cried. “I don’t listen when my boss talks to me.”

“You’re lying! I know you know.”

“Why would I lie? You think I’d risk my life to protect this store? I hate this store. It’s so stupid. Why is it called Dick’s? Who is Dick?”

“She’s making some excellent points.” Peter agreed.

“Both of you shut up! Give me the combination to the safe now or I’ll shoot you both.”

“I don’t know it!” You exclaimed. “I don’t even know the address to this place.”

“You think this is funny?” The man asked and took a step closer to you to the gun was pressed against your forehead.

“Not right now but I probably will later.” You answered honestly.

“That’s it. You’re dead.” The man said and cocked his gun.

“No!” Peter exclaimed as he dove towards you. He knocked you safely onto the ground while the man shot him three times in the chest. You screamed as Peter fell to the ground in a thud. You were about to reach for him when he jumped back up on his feet.

“Just kidding! It’s bulletproof.” Peter said cheerfully as he shot a web at the man’s gun. He yanked it out of his hand and threw it to the side before shooting two more webs that stuck the man’s arms to his sides and glued his legs to together. The man fell to the ground and tried to break free, but was unsuccessful. Peter shot one last web at the man’s face before pulling his mask off. He turned around to ask you if you were okay and was immediately met by you throwing your arms around him. He pulled his mask off before hugging you back tightly until your breathing calmed down.

“How did you know you were bullet proof?” You asked in a shaky voice.

“I didn’t.” He admitted. “I just knew that you weren’t.”

You pulled away to stare at him in disbelief, almost looking angry with him for risking his life for you. Your angry expression melted into a look of awe.

“Thats hot.” You said and threw your arms around him to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss and held you tighter, only breaking apart when you needed to catch your breath.

“Do you kiss all your local cashiers like that?” You asked him.

“Nope.” He chuckled. “Just you.”

“Good. You better keep it that way.”

Peter smiled and pressed his forehead against yours as you both calmed down from all the excitement when a thought crossed his mind.

“Did you really not know the combination to the safe or were you protecting the store?” Peter asked skeptically.

“Are you accusing me of risking my life to protect Dick’s Sporting Goods from a robbery?” You pretended to be offended and put your hand over your heart.

“No. But I am accusing you not telling that guy the safe combination just to mess with him.” Peter replied. A smirk crossed your face as you went over to the safe and put in the combination.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for a bit.” You said as you pulled the safe open.

“I knew it.” Peter laughed and shook his head.

“I was planning on telling you something tonight. You know, before I got held at gunpoint by a man shorter than I am.” You said as you walked back over to Peter.

“Oh really? What?”

“They’re making me store manager. That means you can get all the free spandex and gummy worms you want.”

“No way.” Peter grinned. “They promoted you?”

“Kinda.” You waved your hand. “The last store manger went to jail for insider trading and I’m the only other employee over 18.”

“But still! I’m so proud of you.” He said and scooped you into a hug.

“You know, when they promoted me, you were the first person I wanted to tell.” You admitted. Peter pulled away to cup your face and smile at you.

“I’m honored. No one in this shamble of a store deserved it more than you.”

“I can make my own hours now because it’s my job to make the schedule. So let me know when you want to go on our first date that isn’t in a Dick’s sporting goods.” You smiled teasingly.

“I will.” He smiled back before getting serious. He blew out a breath and looked you in the eye.

“Dick’s girl, I have so enjoyed our time together. Would you maybe want to be my girlfriend maybe?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

“Maybe I would.” You shrugged. “But only if you never call me “Dick’s girl” again.”

“I can definitely do that.” Peter nodded and kissed you again. The kiss was interrupted by the sound of cops pulling up in front of the store.

“Cops are here. I gotta go.” Peter said apologetically and pulled his mask back on.

“Bye, Spiderman!” You waved at him as he walked towards the front door.

“Bye, Dick’s girl!” He shouted back before swinging off into the night.

“What did Spiderman just call you?” The police officer as he walked into the store.

“Don’t worry about it.”

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[graysnetwork]

omg

You've had the best night ever, you went on a great dinner date with your boyfriend of one year; Keegan, the food was amazing and the service was great, and the events afterwords— even better.

You two went back to your apartment since it was closer, and since Keegan was barely able to wait to get your place. Usually it was his place, you had a whole dresser he had bought for you for the case of you spending the night and needing to put on different clothes for the next morning.

He had been spending the entire night thrusting his cock into your hole, and gosh did he enjoy last night.

Now the sun peaked through curtains and the sunshine absolutely blinded you, he on the other hand had his face stuffed into the pillows which blocked out all the rays of sunshine. His back looked great; red scratch marks, a few scars here and there, and his muscles.. gosh his muscles.

But the funny thing about the picture was what he was laying in, pink pillows, a white comforter, a soft pink throw blanket, and several stuffed animals; all types of them too: a build a bear he got you with his own voice in the little bear, squishmallows he also bought you, and now your childhood stuffed animals you were placing around his body.

See the only reason they were on the floor was because you had said “oh my gosh my little stuffys are gonna see me and my boyfriend-” before he cut you off with a slow kiss and he covered your little bears eyes before pulling down those black panties down.

And then all of the stuffys ended up on the floor for the rest of the eventful night.

You placed the last one next to his bicep very carefully and went on to put a oversized shirt on and go to the kitchen to eat something.

You were sure this was the best sleep he’s had since he was a baby.

—

“hey baby” Keegan mutters as kisses the top of your head as he places his hands on your hips and his lips only continue to move down and kiss your cheek, neck and shoulder. “hey, did you sleep well?” you smiled as you turned your head and looked up at him “well? that was the best sleep i’ve gotten in ages..” he kissed you on the lips this time and really savored the moment.

“we should do this more often, just less stuffed animals next time i wake up..” he muttered as his nose brushed against yours and he leaned down again to kiss you once more.

“maybe, but your lucky to have been surrounded by those guys” you say as you pulled away briefly and turned around fully, and he slowly but firmly pushed you against the island. “guys? you’ve been sleeping with other guys?” he kissed you again. “i should go and give them a good.. stern talking” he muttered again as he once again (guess it) he kissed you.

He lifted you up and placed you on the counter, his hands found their way under that big shirt and they roamed freely over your soft skin. “maybe not, maybe i’ll just make them watch me fuck you?” he whispered as he smiled at your pink cheeks you unknowingly were getting.

“you’re disgusting, those stuffys eyes would be scared” you whispered back and frowned at him “well i guess i do appreciate that they’re not real guys” “yeah you should appreciate that”

“yeah, yeah, let’s just get to it already, this conversation is so boring it makes me want to play golf” his little remark on golf made you chuckle as you caressed his cheek “we doin it here or the bed again?” he asked and with the way he was staring at you, you didn’t know if he would even make it to the bedroom.

[nycbaby21]

date crashing w/ Quinn

prompt: Jack and Luke crash your and Quinn's date

word count: 1.901

“Hey you guys are on your own tonight for dinner,” Quinn says grabbing water from the fridge and then walking into the living room joining his brothers. “What are you talking about,” Luke asks pausing their game as Jack protest,” hey I was winning you ass.” Luke laughs as he jokes,” Yeah sure you were Jacky.” Quinn shakes his head at his younger brothers taking a sip of his drink. “Quinny is taking me out for a date night,” I smile rounding the corner and plopping down on the couch throwing my legs in my boyfriend’s lap. He subconsciously moves his hands to begin rubbing them up and down. I smile at the small gesture and lean up and kiss his cheek. “Gross stop, What did he talk about pda in shared living spaces?” I roll my eyes at Jack’s joke tossing the pillow behind me at him.

“You promised us you were making that pasta thing tonight from TikTok remember Y/n,” Luke whined turning to face me and giving his best attempt at puppy eyes. I reach over and pinch his cheek,” I’m sure Jack will feed you Lukey.” The younger boy gasps and puts a hand over his heart,” I thought you loved me.” I laugh at his dramatics, which must be a Hughes-shared trait because Quinn can be the same way. “Luke you are nineteen years either eat what Jack cooks or do it yourself,” Quinn rolls his eyes. “Great so either starve or get food poisoning from Gordan Ramsey over here,” he huffs sinking into the couch. He kind of looks like a toddler who has just been told they couldn't have ice cream after dinner. “I do love you guys,” I say looking between the two boys,” that’s why I already made the pasta and put it in the fridge. Just reheat it later. You big babies think you can do that?” 

“Our children are going to be absolute brats you know that right,” Quinn squeezes my leg getting my attention. I lightly smack his chest saying,” They will not be.” He laughs,” As much as you spoil these two, I can’t even imagine how you will spoil our actual children.” I roll my eyes at him and smile slightly. Even as a little joke, Quinn thought about us having kids one day. “Unpause the game,” I say ignoring Quinn who is poking my calves. The four of us hang out for a couple more hours until it’s time for us to get ready. 

As I am getting out of the shower I hear voices in the hallway. I ignore them because I have learned with this group of guys that it’s best to mind your own business. I quickly throw on one of Quinn’s shirts and shorts starting to do my makeup. “I know it does kinda suck,” I hear Jack say. “I mean I know they want time together, I really do but I just miss them so much during the year mom,” he continues on with a big sigh. My lip immediately pokes out into a pout and he has my full attention now. “I know you do baby. You just have to understand they love you guys but every once in a while they want a night to themselves,” Ellen tries to help her son understand. “Yeah, I know. It’s just it would be different if it was Luke. I see him all the time, but I miss them. I miss Y/n just as much as I miss him. Maybe a little more because she cooks better than him,” he laughs and I hear Ellen join in. After a little, they end the phone call and I hear Jack make his way down the hallway.

“Hey J could you come here for a second,” I call out already thinking of the reward I am going to have to give Quinn for what I am about to do. The brunette boy tumbles in and jumps onto the bed. “Wait is it safe to be on here,” he asks raising his eyebrows suggestively. I laugh and throw one of my makeup brushes at him. “You’re good J,” I say locking eyes with him in the mirror. “So what are you guys doing tonight,” he asks twirling the brush around in his fingers. “Top Golf. Quinn is tired of being chirped for losing games, so he said we needed practice,” he looks at me as I speak. “Yeah, he always loses because he is such a boyfriend and partners with you. I mean this in the nicest way possible but you suck Y/n,” his eyes crinkle as he laughs at bullying me. I laugh and shake my head at him.

“I was thinking maybe you and Lukey could come and keep me company? Between the two of us, Quinn gets a little intense when he is trying to teach me things. Like, remember my first winter in with the family and him trying to teach me to skate,” I shudder at the memory. “Do I remember him making you cry or do I remember dad handing him his ass while mom taught you to skate,” he smiles at the memory. “See you know what I’m talking about.” We lock eyes again in the mirror and I see his soften. “Y/n we are fine really. I know you and Quinny haven’t had any alone time since last month when Cole, Trev, and I went to those races,” he sits up and comes to lean up against the dresser next to where I am sitting on the floor doing makeup handing me my brush back.

“I know you guys would be fine. As much as I baby you, I know the two of you are fully capable adults,” I do a quick swipe of lipgloss and close it. Turning and looking up at him,” You don’t have to obviously but I don’t know I kinda miss you guys while we are back in Vancouver. I even have a little countdown til you all play each other. The devils, ducks, kings, and habs.” His eyes light up at that and he jumps up to a standing position. “You sure Q won’t mind,” he asks excitedly. “Don’t worry I handle Quinny. Go tell Luke and you guys get ready. I can talk him into you guys crashing but not if he has to wait on you,” I say rushing the boy out. He gives me a fast nod and leans down to give my head a quick kiss. “Thank you. Love you,” he rushes out of the door yelling for Luke on his way out. 

I walk down the stairs to find the youngest two brothers sitting on the couch. They looked like two kids waiting for their parents to load up the car for a Disney trip or something. “You look really pretty Y/n,” Luke smiles up at me. “Why thank you. I think you look very handsome. You both do,” I reach over the couch and give each of their shoulders a small squeeze. Before we could say anything else Quinn walks back in from outside. “Okay, I have the car warming up for you. Ready to head out,” he asks walking over and giving my forehead a chaste kiss. I nod and stand on my tiptoes to give his nose a small peck. He turns to his brothers waiting for a pda comment. They both just give him a smile and he throws his head back groaning. “Y/n are you serious,” he asks finally looking at me. “C’mon Q they miss you and want to spend time with us. You always complain during the season about how much you miss them so why can’t they tag along,” my words make a small blush rise to his cheeks. “Aw does Quinny miss us while he's all alone up in big Vancouver,” Luke jokes standing and walking over to us leaning against the back of the couch.

“Do you wanna come or not,” Quinn threatens the younger defensemen. Luke quickly throws his hands up in a mock surrender. Jack walks towards the door and looks at Luke,” Shotgun.” The two boys rush off outside and to the car. I could hear cursing and assumed one of them had fallen. I turn to Quinn and give him the sweetest face I could. “They do know there is no way you aren’t riding in front with me right,” he asks wrapping his arms around my body. I laugh and I nuzzle myself into his chest. “I know you wanted tonight to just be us, but you should have heard Jack on the phone with Mama Ellen. Q he was breaking my heart,” I say into his chest. “You know what? I hope our bratty kids get your big heart,” he smiles down at me. I pinch his side,” Stop calling our kids brats Quintin.” His laughs vibrate my whole body and he mumbles a quick sorry. “You look amazing by the way,” he dips down to give my lips a sweet kiss. “About time you said something. Was thinking Luke was gonna be the only gentlemen tonight,” I joke unwrapping myself from him and walking to the door.

As the night went on the four of us had a blast. The brothers having another friendly competition while I sit back and smile snapping a couple pictures and sending them to Ellen. “Can you guys please hurry up? I’m cold and want to get a hot chocolate,” I say gaining their attention. Luke quickly sheds his jacket and gives it to me while Jack goes to the concession stand grabbing me a drink. Luke goes to take his shot when Quinn comes over and sits down beside me. “I’m glad that you invited them. As much of a pain in the ass they are I really do miss them,” he says into my neck pressing his cold nose against my skin. I let out a small squeal and tried to push him off. This only makes him grab me and nuzzle in deeper. After my hot chocolate and Jack winning, we decided to head back to the lakehouse. Some of the other guys were getting in tomorrow so we had to get their rooms ready.

Not even ten minutes into our drive home, the two New Jersey Devils players were passed out and cuddled up in the back seat. I only turn back around when Quinn places his hand on my knee. “Thank you for today. You were a very good sport Q,” I smile lacing our fingers together. “As annoying as it is sharing you with them,” he starts and quickly glances at the two sleeping beauties,” but it’s the best gift to see how easily you fit in with them and how much they all love you,” he raises my hand to his lips. I let out a small giggle because his facial hair tickled the back of my hand. “Well if that is the best gift I don’t have to worry about how I was going to reward you for letting them come,” I say squeezing his hand. “Okay now let’s not be hasty Y/n. I think I was so good I deserve a reward, don’t you,” he asks giving me a look. I roll my eyes at him smiling and give him a nod. He sped up a little trying to get back as fast as possible.

[rafeskiss]

florida!!! ! ᥫ᭡

pairing: bsf!rafe cameron x reader

summary: reader’s boyfriend cheats on her so rafe plans to make her forget all about him by taking her to florida.

warnings: no smut, not much, rafe laces someone’s cocaine with fent, protective rafe, i don’t really know 😊

authors note: FIRST RAFE POST!! i know ive only ever posted for sturniolo tumblr but id like to preface my account isn’t solely for them, and i will be posting content for other fandoms as well!

love left me like this, i don’t want to exist so take me to florida

when naive!kook!reader and her boyfriend, a good-for-nothing fuck boy, one to a worse degree than her best friend rafe was, broke up… rafe was more than happy to finally step in.

it was as simple as that rafe couldn’t let that man sleep peacefully knowing that he broke his poor best friend’s heart.

when you showed up at tannyhill, your big doe eyes all teary eyed and smeared mascara running down your cute cheeks, rafe already knew it had something to do with that little boyfriend of yours.

secretly, he had been waiting for this exact moment. he had been waiting ever since you told him that one of the boys he plays golf with asked you on a date. you were just too sweet for him. for any of these boys on the island. no, you needed someone who could really protect you and make you feel feminine and comfortable, something these boys couldn’t do except for him. he knew you better than anyone and had much more to give you than everyone else, but being the naive girl you are, you didn’t see past the friendship.

“aw, baby.” he frowned before embracing you in a tight hug. you wrapped your arms around his neck, silently crying into his arms.

your voice broke, “he cheated on me,”

rafe’s jaw clenched, but he wasn’t surprised. not one bit. “ ‘m so sorry.”

he didn’t ever directly warn you about boys like him. he couldn’t ruin the happiness you had when that guy started showing interest in you.

this wasn’t even supposed to happen, actually. you weren’t aware of this, but rafe may or may not have told every guy who ever expressed interest in you to fuck off. a simple hands-off rule. he’d threaten them, say that if they so much as talk to you, they’d wish they didn’t. only one person dared to test that rule. he started flirting with you and commenting on your instagram pictures. rafe solved that problem quickly and easily by lacing his next bag of coke with a little bit of fentanyl. he didn’t die. it taught him a lesson. taught mostly every boy on the island a lesson, except for your now ex-boyfriend.

so he couldn’t put fentanyl in this fucker’s coke this time because the boy never mentioned you to him. they played golf regularly, never speaking of you. and then one day, rafe picks you up from your house to take you shopping and you excitedly tell him how one of his friends followed you on instagram and asked to take you out. that guy knew what he was doing.

he maneuvered the hands-off rule because he knew rafe would never let it happen.

after a few minutes of consoling you, rafe broke the silence. “y’wanna go to florida?”

you stopped crying, pulled away from the hug and peered up at him. “what?”

he grinned, “i’m serious. let’s go to florida, yeah?”

you shook your head, “that won’t fix anything, rafe.”

truth be told, rafe believes money can in fact buy happiness. and he’d spend every last dime in his pocket if it meant you forgot all about that stupid boy and became happy, especially if it meant you were happy with him.

“it’ll be fun. lemme show you a good time, promise you’ll forget all about him. it would be good for ya to at least get out of the obx.”

“why florida?” you asked, sniffling and wiping a tear. rafe lifted up his shirt, revealing his lower toned abdomen, and wiped your mascara off your face, wiping your nose too. something only dad’s do for their young daughters, and rafe too, you guess.

he shrugs, “why not? we gotta place there. nice place right on the miami coast. just a change of scenery, s’all.”

so the next day, rafe pulled into your house’s driveway. you stood by the front door, a suitcase next to you. rafe smiled as he got out of his car, “only one suitcase?”

“you think i need more?” you asked in a surprised tone.

he shrugged, “i just planned a couple things snd you might need more than a couple outfits for ‘em. s’all good though, we can buy you some more when we get there.” he said while grabbing your pink suitcase effortlessly and placing it in the backseat of his car.

you were completely unaware of rafe’s true intentions by this out of the blue trip to florida. you didn’t think anything of the sweet things rafe did for you. he was your best friend, and he looks out for you. he just cares for you, like any friend would.

once you arrived in florida, being taken there by the cameron’s private plane, the first thing you did was get a fancy facial from a very luxurious med spa. one sarah went to anytime their family visited florida, which is why rafe knew of the place. he paid for you to get the longest, most expensive, and best treatment there was.

afterwards, you guys went out to dinner at a small restaurant on a dock.

you thought he was just being sweet.

you thought he was just being sweet when he bought everything you laid your eyes on in small boutiques and even large luxury stores like chanel and tiffany.

and rafe’s plan worked. by the first four days, your ex’s name never came out of your mouth. the only name on your lips was rafe, and his next plan was to keep it that way.

all that’s left to do was convince you there was someone better for you out there. and that someone was him. you didn’t see it yet, but you would by the end of the trip. he would make you his.

[bouncingbluebeast]

Dad bod Logan - yee or nay?

((Walks up to the microphone with a pile of flashcards. I straighten my cards and adjust my shirt collar before tapping the microphone and leaning in:

Yes.

You look at this 19th century Alberta-born bastard-son redneck-noble subsisting off beer, cigarettes, potatoes, syrup, pancakes, wild game and jerky - and Marvel has the audacity to give him a six-pack? That in our modern day of processed and manufactured foods that he wouldn't even be slightly affected??

(At best I can see a three-pack still visible in that image, ayyyyyy)

Marvel, you look at this caked-up manlet and tell me there is less than 10% body fat on his entire person?

You're telling me, with the bone density of ada-fucking-mantium, that this Calgary Stampede Shortstack has no additional bulk on his muscle from powerlifting his own skeleton every time he walks? That there are no stores of body fat habituated by his body to prepare for the metric ton of bodily harm he'll have to repair in the matter of a week? Not a single lovehandle or cellulite to be seen?

The only "shredded" I will accept as an adjective for Wolverine is a descriptor of his victims or his clothes (an oxymoron, but I digress).

Like, what is this...?

You're going to fight a bear built like THAT???

You're gonna have that dorito-chest snapped at that pencil waist after he bats away those noodle-ass arms.

And then on the other end...

PFFFFFTHAHAHA! What??? He could get his head knocked off like a teed-up golf ball that fell on a barbershop floor...

The artists I respect the most when they are drawing Wolverine are those that remember that this is a 5'3" frontier man from 1800s Canada who has to deal with the fact that everyone after the 1930s is taller than him.

This man has the complex to be the toughest and biggest guy in the room, even when he's always the shortest. He talks big, eats big, fights big as his show of that Wolverine scrappiness.

So to reiterate: yes, Wolverine has a dad bod - because I'm not a coward.))

[boatem-probler]

Cthulhu Returns as a Soccer Dad, in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / You Are Here!

Last Time on Tokyo Soul...

"So yeah, these are definitely gonna come out slower from now on." -- Me, a Fool

Yeah I have no excuse. But! With this big batch of episodes down, the finale is so close I can smell it. It smells like something witty I'll think of later.

This report contains mentions of: Blood, Violence, Death, Guns Medical Malpractice, Allusions to Sexual Harassment/Assault

So Let's Get Back To It...

Episode 36 – A NEW FRIEND!!

Sam and Grian are on Taurtis’s computer, looking at his search history. He’s been searching for hair growth formulas.

Doughboy has been cooking parts of himself and distributing them to people.

Grian and Sam convince Taurtis to do several very stupid things on the premise that they can cure hair loss.

Geode is having a yard sale of all the trash he’s collected. And also Taurtis’s school locker.

They go to the train station to pick up another one of Sam’s friends, this time from Canada. He and Suspicious Person (remember Suspicious Person? From way back in episode 1?) walk out of the walkway on fire. The train platform is also on fire. Apparently Sam’s friend, Nick, set the fire.

Sam sent Nick Taurtis’s school uniform in the mail.

Sam apparently met Nick in a My Little Pony chatroom, where Nick said he was 14. The boys express doubt about this, given that Nick has a very full beard.

Grian: “We’ve had worse friends.”

Sam: “We were just talking about sports, right guys?” Grian: “Uh huh, sports! Footballfootballfootballtennishockey. Golf.”

I’m obsessed with the way he says this.

The cashier at the convenience store is Hank Kingofthe Hill except his name is Frank Chill. Just. By the way.

Episode 37 – DRAGON BALL Z!!

They all go over to Geode’s yard sale. He is frolicking around in the trash with a knife. He has a “mask” that is just a severed Dom Clone head. Grian wants to buy Taurtis’s locker. Geode just hands him a whole bunch of raw chicken. Geode doesn’t exactly grasp the concept of “sale”.

Another one of those weird aliens from the special has landed in the soccer field, and he’s brought Minions. Yes, those ones.

The alien guy gives a whole Dramatic Alien Speech to the effect of: he heard about Taurtis defeating that other alien guy in the special, and he would now also like to fight Taurtis.

Grian: “On a completely unrelated note, has anyone got any bullets?”

Basically Grian REALLY hates Minions and would really like the opportunity to actually shoot some in real life.

Anime Alien charges up for a good long while, and then Taurtis One Punches him. Then all the Minions charge, so the boys end up killing most of them too.

Sam: “How did you get this powerful, Taurtis?” Taurtis: “I did a push-up yesterday!”

As is tradition, they take Nick to Get His Class Schedule. Sam tells him there’s a fatality rate to the procedure, which I’m not sure I remember anyone saying before so he may just be fibbing. No one died that Sam saw, anyway.

Oh dear. So, Señor Loro is not wearing a shirt, because Geode is wearing his Christmas sweater. It turns out that Geode did, in fact, steal it from him without his knowledge, and attempts to deny ever having it. Despite this, Geode and Señor Loro both profess to being best friends. Grian is skeptical of the idea that someone would steal their best friend’s clothes and go to school wearing them. Sam argues that Grian has done that before. You may be able to see where this is going.

Anyway, Nick and Señor Loro fight. Unfortunately, someone has stolen all of the schedules.

Also this episode has the “Sam is my dog” blooper at the end.

EPISODE 38 – THE DARK LORD CTHULHU!

Chupa won the lottery for 5 cents, so he’s summoning Cthulhu again with a ritual meant to “gaze into time”. The ritual text is more old memes. Everyone makes Grian read it.

The whole class is transported to a room with blank white walls and a whole lot of bookshelves just kind of floating in various places. Igbar Cthulhu is there.

There’s also someone else who looks like a shadow with rainbow hair. Grian “wants whatever she’s smoking”.

Cthulhu has decided not to destroy humanity, and instead let Sam do it for him. Sam is “the cause of it all”. And also “the root of it all”.

Grian wants to know if he’ll ever get out of here. Cthulhu says it’s possible but not likely but also not really no.

Sam wants to know why they can still hear the school bell inside the weird room they’re in. Cthulhu says it’s a pocket space and they’re technically still in the classroom. Grian thinks this is bullshit and Cthulhu is just Saying Words.

Grian wants to know: “How do I kill Sam?” Cthulhu says: “You can’t.”

Also, the rainbow-hair shadow person is Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos. Sam and Grian start bullying her.

They transport themselves back to the classroom, and Cthulhu and Nyarlathotep come with them, because they want a front row seat to the world’s destruction. Also, Grian is jealous that Sam gets to be a horseman of the apocalypse and he doesn’t.

Sam is now threatening to destroy the universe when his friends are mean to him. Grian tries to call his bluff. There is a very ominous sound of thunder, but nothing else really happens.

Dr. Nurse has apparently gotten tired of Grian bugging him about “learning” all the time, so he’s taking the class on a field trip inside an ambulance. They’re going to see a car crash!

EPISODE 39 – CAR CRASH!

They arrive at the car crash. There is a man covered in blood standing in front of a burning car. He’s actually mostly fine, but the guy he crashed into, on the other hand, appears to have been… decapitated. Death is beautiful, remarks Cthulhu.

Oh, apparently the other guy is not fine, his organs feel squishy. Dr. Nurse gives him CPR. He dies.

Dr. Nurse gets a report of screaming… at Kurokuma’s house. Kurokuma claims he was just listening to Screamo. They can hear the screams. Once again, no one pays any attention to Grian’s protests. He doesn’t protest very much.

Then they all rush off to help Doughboy open a jar of pickles. Grian is pretty ticked off.

They go back to school for lunch. Grian reveals he took something from Cthulhu’s pocket dimension called a “Sleeping Chaos Potion”. He’s contemplating drinking it. Sam, of all people, points out that it’s probably a bad idea to drink something called a Sleeping Chaos Potion, but he still ends up chanting “chug” alongside everyone else.

Grian drinks the potion, and starts taking damage. Cthulhu says he’ll be fine, there will just be some “lingering side effects”. “If you have dreams about the world exploding, let me know.” This surely won’t have consequences! (But really, as far as I’ve been able to glean there aren’t actually any consequences for this within the canon of Tokyo Soul. I, however, can think of plenty of consequences!)

Also I feel like it’s worth noting, it turns out that Geode milking Dom way back however many episodes ago must have been accomplished with some sort of mod, and not by just hitting him and quickly swapping a pre-prepared bucket of milk into Geode’s hotbar as I has assumed, because every time someone hits someone else while holding an empty bucket, said bucket becomes a bucket of milk named “[username of the person who was hit]’s Milk”. I just thought you should all know that, because I am completely baffled by the fact that they chose to do this and then leave the mod on the server instead of doing a much easier classic filmmaking trick, for what was supposed to be a one-off gag. Anyway. I just had to get that off my chest.

Anyway they’re in gym class and Cthulhu wants Sam to kill Invader. He kind of sounds like a dad at his kid’s soccer game, except instead of soccer it’s the destruction of Earth.

Another Anime Alien has landed on the track behind the school. Sam shoots him and he dies.

Okay so I’m now coming back to this after God knows how long and also after a Very Long Day so I am very tired. We will see how this affects the Energy.

Where were we. Ah, right, this was supposed to be Jerry’s gym class. He’s at a bit of a loss. Jerry is one of the most reasonable and responsible people in this show honestly. Like, he’s trying. No One Else in this school is trying.

Students: So, what do we do for gym class now? Jerry: "Uh. Play?"

Also one of the students falls in a hole and everyone else starts badgering them with the milk buckets and the fishing rods that sound like guns. What is with these people and just leaving weird shit on this server that isn’t supposed to be there? It does add to the Atmosphere, I’ll give it that.

Episode 40 – KILL THE MINION!

Professor Geode has claimed all the unused classrooms as His House. Well, specifically his Holiday Home. He also has a Shop. Grian points out that it’s all very clean for Geode. He finds this suspicious.

Geode has an indoor yard. With sheep. And a Minion. The sheep are also robots?

Geode’s plan for today’s class is to dissect the Minion. Also, Google Docs is still trying to autocorrect “Geode” to “God”.

Geode bloodily slices from the Minion: A Watermelon Slice. A Single Rose. The Minion Energy Core (he’ll save this for later). A Bucket Of Milk. Numerous Garbage Bags. A Potion Bottle Of Blood. More Cores. And A Skull. Sam speculates whether the skull means that the Minion ate a human alive, and then simply assumes it does mean that. Geode then kills the Minion.

Grian wonders if Geode has been learning what friendship is. Taurtis looks directly at the sun.

Taurtis: "Do you ever wonder if we’re alone in the universe?" Grian: "NO."

Oh, Jerry has stolen Geode’s TV. Now I know I just said Jerry is one of the more reasonable characters but I fucking love Jerry and Dom’s TV Saga so he can steal as many TVs as he wants.

Sam remembers that Taurtis technically won a spaceship that morning, so they go over to the soccer field and break into it. The ship pranks them with a fake self destruct sequence, and then the boys accidentally take off for Planet Canada.

And then it’s…… the end of the day, but not the end of the episode? But it seems like it’s still the end of the recording session because they’re now making an excuse for why Grian isn’t there and going off to do some whole other plot? And I’ve decided this is too confusing for this late at night so I’m calling it here for now.

Okay I’m back. Let’s see… Taurtis’s hair is growing back in weird patches because he’s been using a suspicious hair growth serum, Grian got left in Canada and Sam blames Taurtis because the spaceship is technically his.

Taurtis: "He’ll be fine, he’s with Nick- oh, God, you’re right." Sam: "He’s screwed, dude!"

Regardless, Sam has decided that he wants to be a superhero too.

They go downstairs, where the house is covered in “totally not stolen” appliances. Like, not just TVs, there’s also ovens, landline phones, refrigerators, an entire streetlight, and Taurtis’s locker. Apparently this was Jerry and Doughboy’s doing.

Dom seems to be dressed up as some superhero I haven’t heard of. Oh, he’s Rorschach from Watchman apparently.

Some sort of robot appears and says it has come for the “bald one”. It’s here to kill Taurtis before he becomes too strong. It was also sent by someone called “The Steampunker”.

Episode 41 – MEETING SUPER HEROES!

Sam and Taurtis tell the robot to shut up while they argue about which one of them should be the sidekick. The robot starts speaking in binary and then attacks Taurtis, who kills it. Sam and Taurtis continue their argument.

Sam says he’s “contacted” some superheroes and takes Taurtis to meet them. Also, Alex Minecraft is just, like, There and walking around. Wait, there’s some Steves too, a weirdly high amount of people just don’t have custom skins on in this recording session apparently.

They meet up with Sam’s superheroes at a coffee shop. There are also two Inconspicuous Bald Men at the coffee shop. Oh also one of the “superheroes” is Old Kurokuma, currently under the name “Kuma the Lion”.

The other superhero is called Captain Radiator or Luke, I assume he’s meant to be a reference to something but I have no idea what. But he’s wearing a yellow hazmat suit.

Sam wants his superhero name to be “The Strongest in All the Universe and the Leader of All”.

Kurokuma is still a creep.

Sam: "Okay, well my superpower, is… that… Taurtis! He- he neeed me. In the time of need."

Sam is also still insisting that he can destroy the universe because Cthulhu said so. Taurtis continues to doubt this.

Sam is given a superhero outfit. It is a rabbit costume.

Taurtis: "How do you defeat people like that? Do you like, jump on their head like Mario?" Sam: "I kill them with cuteness! And this 50-caliber sniper rifle."

Ah, the Inconspicuous Bald Men are holding up the superstore.

Episode 42 – SUPER VILLAINS!

They attempt to enter the superstore from the roof, but Taurtis misses the jump and gets trapped in an alleyway, so they all just agree to meet him at the front of the store.

Captain Radiator takes off his mask and gives everyone in the store radiation poisoning. It is unclear what this actually accomplishes.

Also, The Steampunker has appeared outside the superstore. He’s captured Invader and wants the heroes to meet him in a warehouse at midnight. The heroes just go there immediately.

Then they spend a Good Five Minutes trying to think of a superhero team name.

Captain Radiator tries to give the robots radiation poisoning, but fails, because they’re robots.

Oh also Invader is just kind of dangling above a vat of goo that supposedly will turn her into a robot. She doesn’t seem particularly distressed or anything though.

Taurtis volunteers to take Invader’s place because he thinks being a robot would be cool. Sam thinks this will put Taurtis under the Steampunker’s control, so they should kill him first. The Steampunker says the robot goo won’t work if he’s dead. Sam decides this means he can take the Steampunker’s place after they kill him and then he’ll be the one to control Robot Taurtis. Taurtis says he’d rather be controlled by the Steampunker.

Anyway, I think they eventually decide they want to kill the Steampunker after all, because Taurtis decides he wants to fight on the edge of the goo vat (because it’d be cool)... and the Steampunker punches him into the goo.

Episode 43 – KILL ME!

Taurtis breaks out of the vat and kills the Steampunker (he tried to let Sam kill him, but Sam failed). Then they try to get Invader down, but accidentally drop her into the vat. And it seems like her face is melting off, so Sam et al. run out of the warehouse like cowards.

Cthulhu shows up to tell Sam how proud he is of him for killing more people and melting a girl’s face off. Nyarlathotep gives everyone Mountain Dew. Cthulhu insults Taurtis’s hair, so Taurtis tries to punch him, it doesn’t work, and Cthulhu electrocutes him with a bolt of lightning.

Sam and Taurtis break into someone’s house and sneak out the back door, so Kurokuma doesn’t find out where they live. It doesn’t work, because they forgot they live with three other people who have no idea what the fuck they’re trying to do.

Dom, Jerry, and Doughboy are just living their best TV stealing lives and I support them.

Once AGAIN they are starting a new day in the middle of an episode and it’s really throwing me off my rhythm!!

Anyway. Taurtis has changed out of his One Punch Man outfit, and he’s in the kitchen angrily trying to make breakfast because, according to him, someone sent him a letter saying that if he didn’t make food, he’d be “fired”. I think it’s implied that Sam sent this letter, and that Taurtis knows this, and that Sam knows Taurtis knows this? But who honestly fucking knows with Sam.

Grian walks in! Apparently he’s “just been in orbit for a while”. He’s very confused about why there are so many appliances in the house. He also acquired his own spaceship somehow, and parked it on the roof.

Is it more interesting if the spaceship simply fell out of orbit directly above “Tokyo”/navigated there on its own automatically, implying that there is some supernatural force keeping Grian trapped there, or if Grian decided to go back there himself? Discuss. I could go either way, honestly, although I would like to find a way to have both, ideally.

Oh, apparently the context behind “Taurtis angrily making food or else he’ll be fired” is that it was something CC!Sam decided he wanted to do like right before filming the scene. “And then you can poison my food or something.” The more you know!

Thank God this episode doesn’t end in the middle of anything honestly.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

Anime alien

Lots of minions

He didn’t actually witness the death, but he did see the decapitated body, so, Car Crash Victim Number the First

Car Crash Victim Number the Second

Grian seems pretty sure whoever was in Kurokuma’s basement died

Anime Alien The Second

Minion

Listen he had to get that second spaceship somehow

Injuries Sustained:

Basically anytime the guns come out I assume he gets shot a few times

Traumatic Events:

Subjected to another one of Sam’s shady friends

A somewhat all-powerful evil being tells him that Sam is going to destroy the world, there’s no way out of this town for him, and he can’t even kill Sam about it

Kurokuma

Sleeping Chaos Potion (even if there are no consequences in the canon series, it did still definitely hurt)

Look, he didn’t seem all that shaken up by the Minion Dissection, but I think it should still count

Got left in Canada. Again.

Next Time... Grian Pushes Someone Into A Big Hole

[tkachukz]

How is Matthew Tkachuk as a boyfriend

-Matthew is an extremely competitive person, so since you agreed to be his girlfriend, he works hard to be the best boyfriend in the world

-That means he's always researching things to do, bringing you gifts without special occasions, and planning dates in detail

-But he also loves spending the day with you cuddling on the couch watching a movie

-For dates, he likes to take you to fancy places, where you can dress up and he can watch you in a pretty dress

-He loves playing sports, and is always planning to play them with you

-You've already joined him in golf, tennis, cycling, mountain climbing and scuba diving

-He still intends to make you play hockey eventually, but for that he still needs to teach you how to skate

-And of course the game would only be between close friends so you don't get hurt

-He can be quite overprotective, but only because he cares about you a lot

-At parties and events, he likes to have one hand behind your back

-First because he knows that big events make you nervous

-And secondly, because he want to make sure that everyone knows that you are accompanied

-If any guy approaches you, he will loudly introduce himself as your boyfriend, maybe shake his hand or pull you closer

-But it won't take you out of the conversation if you want to stay

-He likes to be present at your side, but also he likes that you feel comfortable talking to whoever you want

-Things change if the guy tries to hit on you, makes a pass at you, or makes you uncomfortable

-Matt will put himself in the middle, pulling you behind him

-He prefers to resolve things by talking, intimidation, or simply getting you away from there

-But wouldn't mind punching someone if the situation called for it.

-He wouldn't let anyone hurt you

-When you are alone, he allows himself to show his most vulnerable side

-Matt has always felt very pressured into what people expect of him, and having you by his side, someone who loves him entirely for who he is, makes him immensely happy

-And he has no problem showing it

-He never hangs up a call, leaves the house, or goes to sleep without saying 'I love you'

-Little kisses on top of the head, holding your hand whenever you leave the house, opening and closing doors, offering your arm when you're in heels or needing to deal with stairs. Before you met, you didn't know he could be such a gentleman.

-You lost count of how many times you ended up with his suit over your shoulders at the end of parties because of the cold

-And he loves to see you wearing his clothes, be it a t-shirt or a coat, but mostly, his jerseys

-with his number and last name stamped very large

-When he is traveling, you can expect a call from him every night

-Sometimes it comes with a complete analysis of the game, a gossip about a teammate or something that happened in your day

-But sometimes it's just you looking at each other for a while, mumbling longing, and often sleeping listening to each other's laughter

-You've fallen asleep on too many phone calls while Matt had the camera on, because watching you so relaxed made him feel good

-When he comes back from his trip, he always brings a gift

-Often from the city he was in, some cap or teddy bear

-Or when he felt that no gift was good enough, he resorted to flowers

-Lilies, your favorites

-He loves watching you do everyday things

-Watches you out of the corner of his eye as you're getting ready to go out, doing your makeup and humming Taylor Swift

-He secretly likes the songs but likes to pretend they're not a big deal just to watch you take a deep breath and start a ten minute monologue explaining why Taylor is the music industry

-And you secretly know he likes the song, but you love talking about Taylor

-He is not very good at cooking, but he is always committed to helping you

-You tend to leave him with simpler tasks that don't involve fire

-Like cut vegetables or decorate cookies

-One day he surprised you with a wonderful mac and cheese

-You let out a sincere smile when you saw that he had looked up the video step by step on youtube

-And it was very good.

-He loves to give little love bites

-all affectionate

-And he doesn't mind when you call him a little pest or teddy bear

-Only when you're alone

-Matthew wants  to be the best boyfriend in the world and so far, you definitely have nothing to complain about

-He is doing a great job

[alicepao13]

S06E10

For a golf episode, okay. For a filler, also okay. Not that much going on.

Let's get one thing out of the way first:

Episode title says caddy. They liked that pun, I guess. As the grammar website I checked explains it further, it's not considered a huge error.

CityTV has such a nerve to put their logo in there after all their scheduling changes and general lack of interest for this show (I have no beef with that interview man, I forgot his name, but his interview with Diesel and John Reardon before the season premiere was actually fun).

I absolutely had no idea that women's golf was so lucrative.

"All I heard is sandwich" Thank god for Sarah. I only like Sarah from now on. Not even Rex, he seems too into golf, although there are too many balls involved for a dog to stay indifferent.

Joe joined the golf club when Camilla was born? Didn't he, like, adopt her after he married her mother? Or is my recollection false?

Charlie had worked as a caddie. Well, certainly some backstory there. And of course he's like, the best of them at it even if he doesn't want to join the club.

Seriously, we can't take them anywhere. Especially Rex, whose nose doesn't take a single day off. Boom, one more day off ruined.

I tuned out in every single golf talk, which is unfortunate because it was mixed with the plot (still found the culprit as soon as they appeared on screen). It's just really hard to follow when I don't care about it at all. Since I like almost all sports, I consider those I don't like as non-sports. Mainly golf and formula car racing.

They cut the chase scene? What?

That scene where Charlie drives a golf cart and Rex runs alongside him does not deserve a cool music lmao

Charlie playing golf as he's interviewing a (at the time) person of interest. I can't decide if this is unprofessional or I just don't like golf.

Ah, please someone tell me how many shots they did for that uninterrupted shot of Charlie's short putt that went pretty close to the hole. I know that the guys actually golf in real life but this had to be close but also not go in the hole for Rex to grab it.

Amazon! How the hell can you put an ad about fast delivery in this show, when you consistently fail to deliver the actual show on time in your streaming service? Am I the only one seeing the irony here? Last season it was too early, this season too late.

Also, Jesse, don't you dare wear that. Charlie's orange jumpsuit was actually a better shade of orange than this one.

Okay, maybe there were a bunch of chase scenes in this episode so they felt they could lose one. Acceptable.

Poor Rex's head. I'd have liked more of Charlie's worry please, although it seems like we might get this in a future episode.

This might be the first time we see Rex's teeth as Charlie checks for god knows what. Come on, show, let Rex bare his teeth just once while growling at a bad guy!

*gasps* Skeletal remains! On a family show!

They shouldn't have spoiled Jesse's shirt in the end scene on their promotional pictures. Not that it's such a big thing, but they should actually stop uploading promotional pictures from the final scenes altogether, or post them after the show has aired.

I liked the teamwork in this one. I believe the golf episode had been brewing since S2, where they had to scrap the idea due to a heavy snowfall, which turned the golf field into a ski slope. There is no avoiding golf, apparently!

Promo: What the actual fuck. Charlie and Rex combined whump? Charlie thrown out of a moving truck? Rex missing? Charlie having temporary amnesia? Hospital? Is it my birthday? (Well, it's actually pretty close to my name day instead.) Please squeeze a scene in there with a worried Sarah, and I take back every single bad thing I said about this season (the show only, I don't take back anything about CityTV). Yes, even the whales.

Of course this would be the episode that they'd take a break on. Oh, well. After that terrible hiatus, I can stand to wait a few days. A day had passed already as I was looking for the episode (turns out that they knew what they were doing lol).

[rugtopper]

THE INTERVENTION

BY RUGTOPPER

Vinny did not expect to find anything in his mailbox at work. He did not he know why he bothered looking in it. He had been an inter-office courier at Payton Publishing for three years. No one ever sent him messages; he was never invited out for a drink after work; and, no one even bothered to say hello to him in the halls as he made his rounds. Finding a handwritten note in his box was a shock. He was even more shocked to read that he was invited to watch a football game with some of the executives from the eighth floor this weekend. He hated going to the eighth floor. All the male executives would give him strange looks. They were looks he was not used to getting. They were looks of pity, but not in a condescending sort of way. It was a look of pity that you see someone give another human being when you know that that someone is about to help that human being. Regardless, it did not make Vinny feel comfortable. When he left the eighth floor, he always felt like he was about to be the next big project for the local Junior League to take on to make them feel good about themselves. He had no idea how wrong he was. He had no idea just how good he was going to feel about himself.

Vinny went to eighth floor, as instructed in the note. He waited outside Mr. Reynolds' office. Albert Reynolds was a tough man to size up. He was not the type of man you would see going to a football game, much less hosting a football party. He was more the type who might sing with the local chamber ensemble on a Tuesday night, and play golf on Saturday afternoon. Mr. Reynolds came out of his office with a big grin on his face. He was a slight man, maybe 5'7", if that tall; very trim with no facial hair. Aside from his height, his most striking feature was his fiery strawberry blond hair. At 43, he was still very youthful looking with his ruddy complexion and the flaming head of hair.

"Here are the directions to my house, Vinny. I hope you don't have any trouble finding the place. There are only going to be six of guys there, plus you."

"Should I bring anything, Mr. Reynolds?" Vinny asked.

"Well, Vinny, first call me Al. Second, if you want to you can bring some chips. The other guys are bringing the rest of the food. I'll be in charge of the grill out back."

Thanks, Mister . . . ah, Al."

"No, problem. See you Saturday at noon."

"Sure."

All week, Vinny looked forward to the weekend. Also, he noticed that the guys on the eighth floor looked at him differently. He wasn't sure what kind of look this was. Still, when they saw him, they did at least speak to him. That was the best change.

Saturday finally came. Vinny showed up at Al's house right at noon. He could hear the TV when he got out his truck. He grabbed the grocery bags and headed toward the front door. Before he even got to the porch, the door opened. It was Mr. Pierce. Perfect Pierce they called him. He once recalled a book that had had 10,000 copies printed because of a punctuation mistake on the last page of the book. He was not one to mess with at all.

"Hey, Vinny, glad you're here." Mr. Pierce said as he took the bags out of Vinny's hands.

"Hi, Mr. Pierce.

"Now, Vinny, we're away from work. Just call me Derek."

"Okay, Derek." Vinny replied.

"I think you know all the other guys here," Derek said as Vinny made his way through the door.

Yes, Vinny knew all of the men. After a quick survey of the room, he also knew why he might be there. He didn't really make the connection when Al gave him the directions, or even when Derek, with his stark-white preppy hairdo, greeted him at the door. Now he knew. There sitting in front of the giant screen television were the other four men from the eighth floor. All six were clothed in their khaki slacks, typical golf shirts and their obvious toupees. Here Vinny was in his blue jeans, faded t-shirt, tennis shoes, and ratty black hair. Now he knew that something was up.

Derek closed and locked the door. Al got up from his chair and came to shake Vinny's hand. Vinny was led over to the sofa.

One of the guys turned off the television.

"Now, Vinny, I bet you're wondering why we asked you here. Especially when you think we haven't even had anything to do with you all these years."

"Well, it is kind of odd, don't you think?" Vinny asked, as he ran his hands over his messy hair with the V-shaped hairline.

All the men just looked at each other and then at Vinny.

"Vinny, we want to help you. We think you're a great guy. We know you've been waiting for job to open up in editing. You've seen people come and go. You've even been overlooked twice. Most men would have left, but you've stuck it out. We appreciate that more than you know. But we can't help you until you decide that you need help. We need to know that you are willing to do what it takes to improve yourself for the job that you want."

"Look, uh, Mr. Steel, is it? I just came to watch the game. Yes, I'd like to move into editing. Yes, I'd like to remain in the publishing business. I've got time. It's been three years since I finished grad school. I've had a lot of offers, but not with a smaller publishing company like yours. I like what Peyton produces. I like their style. I like the fact that they really want to publish local authors."

"Yes, it is Mr. Steel, but you can call me Gene. We like what we see, but only in your resume, Vinny. There is plenty of room for improvement in so many areas of your life. We just want to help you, that’s all."

"Vinny, let me just cut to the chase. The way you present yourself on paper is suburb. The way you present yourself in public is another story. That is what we want to change." 

"Look, Al, let me make myself clear. I don't need your pity that each of gives me every day at work. I certainly don't need some sort of intervention to help me make it in the publishing world."

"True, Vinny, but believe me when I say that the publishing world is not busting down any doors to find the next best editor. It is a closed field. Everything is focused on the next author, the next bestseller. No one cares about editors or proofreaders. They are a dime a dozen. What I'm trying to tell you is that, as you are now, you will never stand out. There is nothing in your appearance that says, 'yes, I am a professional.' It says 'look at me, a man in his thirties who can barely make ends meet, who can't dress himself, and who is losing his hair.'"

"So, it comes down to that, does it? My hair. Is that what this is all about? This is rich. A room full of men in rugs giving me a lecture on hair loss. This day just gets odder and odder."

"Alright, Vinny. So what. So, we happen to wear toupees. The alternative is what you are quickly moving toward. We have all been there. We all know what will happen. We see what you do. We see you try to hide it at work. We see you use a lot of product to make the front look fuller. You brush down the sides to hide that growing V at your temples. We even see you slap on that awful ball cap when you get into your truck everyday when you leave. Is that how you want to live, Vinny? Are you prepared for what happens next?"

Up until this point Vinny and Al had been the only two involved in this exchange. Suddenly, Mr. Cappato spoke up. He was Italian, just like Vinny.

"Vinny, you and I are a lot alike. We both come from big Italian families. We both know how hard it is to be the one in the family who is losing his hair. Look at me Vinny. I was your age when all my thick, black hair started going down the drain." With that, Mr. Cappato reached his hand up to his full, coal black pompadour, and took it off. There sat Mr. Cappato with just a narrow rim of dyed black hair over his ears and across the back of his head.

Vinny just sat there in shock, speechless.

"This is where you are headed. Look at me, Vinny. Let me help you. Let us help you." Mr. Cappato pleaded.

"What, now all of you are going to take turns showing me your bald heads?" Vinny asked.

"We just might, but first I think we need to do something else."

That was Mr. Peyton, Jr., the boss’s son. He had the fakest head of brown hair you have ever seen. It did not even match the course salt-n-pepper hair on the back and sides. He didn't even bother to dye it to match.

"Vinny, I think you need to go to the bathroom and wash out all that product. I think you really need to see just what little you have up there."

"I think you might just need to make me, Junior." With that Vinny jumped up and snatched off Mr. Peyton's toupee. Not only did it reveal his bald pate, but it also revealed where his tan line stopped and his pasty scalp started.

"Well, I think that is enough childishness for one day." said Al. "Boys, I think Vincent here needs a bit of help. Please escort him to my barbershop in the basement."

When Al said this, two security guards from the building came in from the other room and lifted Vinny off the ground. One of the other executives, who had remained silent to this point, produced a large needle.

"This will make things easier, Vincent." said the executive with the tightly-curled wig.

Vinny found himself half awake in a barber's chair, strapped down and wearing only his teal-colored bikini briefs, surrounded by the six men. All of them were now totally bald. Their wigs and toupees were lined up in front of Vinny on stands just staring at him. One of the security guards was now dressed in a white barber's uniform. Vinny's hair was dripping wet. All of the black-colored mousse and fiber thickeners had been washed out. Gone was all the darkened powder used to hide his nearly hairless crown. Vinny just looked at himself for the first time. Then he looked at the men in the mirror. Lastly, he looked at the six Styrofoam heads staring at him.

With slurred speech, Vinny managed to say, "you're right, guys, I need help. I know if I ever want to advance to the eighth floor, I have to change my look. I've been denying it for over ten years now. I need to improve my image. I want a full head of hair like you guys. Mr. Cappato, I do want to look like you."

"Call me, Carmine, Son. I think that would be the best thing."

"Rex, go get a wig just like Carmine's out of the closet for Vinny here." Al told the barber.

While Rex was gone, the other security guard, now in full barber's gear came and began prepping Vinny.

Vinny's head was shaved until there was just a shadow left. Vinny was given two more shots. With this he passed out. Hours later, he awoke in the chair with a stiff neck. He was still hung over, but managed to open his eyes. In the mirror was this guy with eyes like his, who had a totally hairless, shiny dome. Rex was behind him mopping the floor. The smell was worse than a locker room. He knew that smell. He didn't need to think about what had happened while he had been out. The other barber came back into the room. He rubbed Vinny head with a clear liquid. This was cool and cleansing. It also completely removed the shine on his scalp. While the barber was doing this, Vinny noticed that there was only one wig stand in front of him. On it was a thick, black wig. The barber took this off the stand, applied tape to the underside and put it on Vinny's head. He pressed hard so the tape would adhere. He turned Vinny to the side and started combing and cutting. Next, he got out a steamer and started styling the wig. While Vinny was still groggy, Phil turned Vinny toward the mirror. Suddenly, Vinny was wide awake. Now he really recognized himself. This was the Vinny from high school. This was the cool Vinny that every girl and boy wanted to sleep with.

All six executives filed into the room. They were wearing their toupees and wigs.

"Vinny," Al said, "We have a change of clothes for you upstairs. We've recorded the game, if you want to watch it with us. Also, you are expected in my office on Monday morning to discuss your new position as a copy editor. Are we clear?"

Vinny nodded as Rex and Phil helped him up. Mr. Cappato helped Vinny up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Vinny put on his new casual clothes while Carmine watched and occasionally helped. Several hours later they eventually emerged from the guest bedroom each brushing down the back of his hair. The weekend turned out better than he had hoped. Vinny never watched the game, but spent the rest of the weekend with Carmine. Monday morning a whole new world began.

THE END

[beautouslysandy]

New Feelings

Chp.1 Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

By-Sandy

Warnings: Just language and not proofread

Word Count: 1,698

Note- I have been binging OBX and I have been wanting to write a Rafe Cameron x Reader for awhile even though there is an plenty of them in this comment, hahaha. Enjoy!

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

You were looking outside the window of the car with gloom. Your family and you are moving to the Outer Banks, you heard it’s pretty there but it didn’t matter. You were leaving your friends and home in New York. Your dad was humming along to a song playing on the radio while your mom was reading a new book, she never gets car sick, your younger brother Jamie who was only 8 was crashing his Transformers together as if they were fighting. Your golden lab, Lulu, was in between you and Jamie as a couple of your boxes were in the trunk of your dad’s SUV. There were two big moving trucks behind you guys, following you to your new home. Your dad says that an old friend of his lives here, coincidentally the house a few blocks down from said friend was for sale and your parents bought.

“We’re here!” Your dad said loudly as the car pulled up to a big beach house, it was gorgeous and huge. Your dad was smiling and your mom kissed him on the cheek. “WOAH!” Jamie yelled with astonishment as he got out of the car. You got out in your jean shorts and yellow shirt that had a white outline of the Statue of Liberty on it. Your h/c hair was down and blowing in the wind. You were wearing white retro gas station sunglasses covering your gorgeous e/c eyes. You walked into the large house, Jamie already had rushed in to pick a room. “I got the best room! Y/n, it has a cool window! I gave you the one with the big closet for all your girly things!” Jamie exclaimed with a grin, his left front tooth was missing. You smiled back and playfully said “Thanks, squirt.” You headed up to the room Jamie didn’t chose, opening the weirdly tall door to reveal a generously sized room with a large window seat looking out into the ocean and a few small windows here and there. You walked into the bathroom which was also generously sized which then attached to it was a walk-in closet.

You squealed, at home there wasn’t this much room. The houses are pricey so you didn’t get as much space. •••• A few hours have pasted and everything in your new room was set, your mom said that you guys can get stuff for the window seat in a couple of days. You we’re in a sundress and your hair was styled how you most liked it. You had a touch of makeup not to much, you preferred a more natural look like your mom. You had your favorite sandals on, you headed downstairs. Your dads old friend had invited you guys over for dinner, your mom mentioned that he had two kids around my age. You pulled up to the house and it was a bit larger then yours but had similarities.

As your parents knocked on the door your brother Jamie was behind you, he was wearing cargo shorts and a white golf shirt. He was a bit shy around strangers but once he got to know them he could be a real spitfire. “Brandon, how is it going man!” A masculine voice called as the door opened. Your dad chuckled and said “Ward! It’s good all good! How about you?” Your parents walked into the door as if it were their second home, you and Jamie slowly walked into the unfamiliar house. “Hi! I am Sarah!” A song like voice greeted

You turned to see a tan girl with beach wavy blond hair. She had a warm smile, she was wearing denim shorts and a white crop top.

“Hello, I am Y/n!” You replied with a smile, you felt your brother move from behind your figure. “I am Jamie..”He said with a sheepish smile.

“Nice to meet you guys!” She said throwing her arm around hers, your brother took your hand as she steered you guys toward the kitchen. There was a average yet tall sized teenage boy, his hair was buzzed which you typically didn’t like on guys but it suited his cold and tan face. He made eye contact with you and then looked at Sarah and scoffed. “Who are ypu?” He said bluntly almost accusingly looking back at you.

You felt Jamie’s grip tighten on your hand “I am Y/n! Nice to meet you.” You said holding out your hand with a smile. “Rafe.” He stated not shaking your hand. You cleared your throat and retracted your hand to your side. “Rafe, be nicer.” Sarah scolded.

Jamie started snickering, you looked at him with a grin. He was starting to warm up to these new people around this new unfamiliar place.

“What’s so funny?” Rafe said with a glare towards Jamie. Jamie started laughing loudly which softened to a giggle. He was very tall for his age around 4’7 he gets his height genes from your dad who is 6’5. Jamie whispered in your ear, “He looks so pissed off that it makes me angry just looking at him.” He snickered

You giggled and tucked a loose hair behind your ear. Rafe got a bit of butterflies, the light of the sun rays were beaming perfectly on you and you were wearing a gorgeous sundress that complimented your physique perfectly. Your hair looked almost surreal. Your laugh was so soft yet full of joy, your beautiful smile made his heart stop.

“I don’t understand.” Sarah and Rafe siad at the same time and then glared at eachother. This sent you and your little brother over the roof. ••• Everyone was sitting at the table. Ward was sitting at the head and your dad was at the other end. Your mom was next to your dad. Jamie was next to you, across from y’all’s mother and you were across from Rafe who was next to his father and sister. “So, Y/n, where did you say you were applying to university?” Ward asked as he cut into his steak. “Oh um, Oxford…Havard” You began and Rafe choked on his water and Sarah stared at you with disbelief. You continued “Yale, Stanford and uh…”

“A university in Scotland…right?” Your dad said looking at you proudly.

“I forgot the name of it…”You said with a shrug.

“Any of them accepted you?” Ward asked with shock and looked at your dad.

“All of them expect Yale.” Your dad said for you with a proud smile. “We are very proud of, Y/n!” Your mother gleamed as she gave you one of her motherly smiles.

“Yeah Yeah we get it Y/n’s the golden child.” Jamie said playfully with a smirk. “Jameson…”Your mother said warningly

“Sorry.” He said with a snicker.

“Camile, he is just playing. Rafe, how about you?” Your dad said with a grin.

“I-“ He began.

“He is being very selective.” Ward said coldly.

“I was very selective too, Rafe. It’s completely normal.” Your mother said comforting sensing some tension, she even gave him one of her maternal smiles. That’s the thing you love about your mother, she is so kind to others.

Rafe looked at your mom with a soft smile. “Sarah your 16?” Your dad asked.

She nodded with a smile. “Remember that kid from that boarding school?” Your dad said with a smirk looking at Ward. Your parents grew up here.

“Ah. Yes. If I remember he had a thing for Camile.” Ward replied chuckling at the old memory.

“Oh my god not the guy you told me about…” You said laughing.

Your mother snickered and your dad scolded.

“He was such an ass.” Your dad said scoffing.

“Brandon!” Your mother said hitting his arm.

“Sorry.” He said with a smirk, the same as your younger brother Jamie.

After everyone finished, Ward and your parents left to get drinks at the local bar. Your mom dropped Jamie off at your new house for bed and because he wanted to watch Transformers. Sarah was bringing her friends over. You were sitting on the porch looking out into the ocean when a slightly familiar voice said. “So your a big shot with the colleges?”

You turned to see Rafe heading towards you and sitting down next to you. “It’s because of my parents. Not me.” You said with a sigh.

“What do your parents do?” He asked

“They work for the government. It’s why we had to move here.” You said looking at him with a soft smile.

“Ah.” He said as if he understood. You looked out back at the ocean. Rafe looked at you in awe, you were making him feel feeling he wasn’t supposed to be feeling. “So, why are you being so selective with your schools?” You asked looking him in the eyes to find him already looking at you, you blushed slightly.

“Just…” He began and his eyes turned sad.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about, I mean you only just let me three hours ago.” You said with a sympathetic smile. He looked at you shocked to be on the receiving end of such kind and supportive words. He was began to say something but was interrupted by loud voices entering to porch. “My man!” A loud slightly annoying voice called as he slapped Rafe on the head. “What the hell, Top?” Rafe said annoyed

Someone car whistle then said “Damn who is this beautiful young lady, we have here?” You blushed out of embarrassment, “I better be going, see you around Rafe. Tell Sarah I will see here tomorrow.” You said with a bright smile, you locked eyes with him but quickly looked away when a guy walked up to you saying “Can I have your number, m’lady?” “Kelce.” Rafe said coldly.

You giggle slightly and said “Maybe another time, Kelce.” you winked and walked away saying one last time “Bye, Rafe!” Rafe felt this pit in his stomach, after you left. Kelce was blushing and in awe. Rafe might of punched Kelce in the face. He didn’t know what was coming over him but all he knew was that you were making him have feeling he was never had.

[ajoytobeheld]

Ellen: it's been an awfully big adventure

December 7th, 2012

I don’t know how to start this, other then diving right in so….I’ll dive.

It is with a sad face I have to report that I am leaving Los Campesinos!. The show on the 15th of December in London will be my last, and I shall spend it struggling not to cry. Please don’t point out my tears if you come along. Simply pretend it is eye sweat.

Over the last seven years I have been blessed, not by God, because he doesn’t exist, but with opportunities and a life I will not fully appreciate until I am about forty-five. I will look back at old photos of the band, with our smooth skin and questionable hair, and go “fuck me. That was mental.”

The past and present members of Los Campesinos! have been my family for the last seven years and seen me at my lowest, my highest, my most angry, sad, happy, broken, fixed, grown up and immature. They have seen me fail, succeed, let myself and them down, learn the hard way, but they have also seen me grow. And they have always had my back, and I hope, I sincerely hope, I have done my best to have theirs.

There is not a terribly exciting reason for me leaving, (so please start some exciting rumours), I am just going to try something new. Fulfil my ambitions of becoming a failed writer and developing a opium habit. It’s all going to be very retro. I leave with the upmost love and support from the band, but I have requested my replacement not be too cool.

I would say I am sad to go, but that is too simple a word for the variety of emotions I have swimming around my head right now. I am sad, but mostly I am drowning in warm and happy flashbacks, vinaigrette images of us all laughing in the van on long drives across America. Joe Puleo, tour manager, at the front telling a story, Jason playing quizmaster and hosting a game of “Guess the Song,” from an app he has downloaded, and we all scream out responses. Rob taking photos of the scenery on his lomo, Neil watching gangster epics on his laptop, and maybe later on this long long drive Paul and Tom will play Tiger Woods Golf whilst I work out how long I can hold my bladder for before requesting we stop. I was the most frequenter pee needer on long drives. I am not ashamed of this. I owned it.

I felt warm and safe on those drives, listening to everyone tell stories, share experiences, make each other laugh. I am lucky to have shared a hotel room with so many exceptional ladies over the years, Aleks, Harriet and especially Kim, who shared my fear of the cold, love of porridge and put up with my ability to make a mess in any room in under 5 seconds. Starting and ending the day together, we did some good chatting.

I have seen a lot of this world, and I didn’t have to go on a gap year to do it. I have travelled across the breadth and depth of the US and the UK and I have seen a lot of different faces, and sampled a lot of backstage humus.I have seen a lot of graffitied backstage cocks.

I have met and worked with countless wonderful, interesting and horrifically talented people inside the industry, inside the venues, inside the recording studie and inside our practice space. (I won’t gush too much about how talented the people in the band are, you might get diabetes from my sincerity, but it has been a pleasure and a privilege to play the music that Tom writes.)

Also fans. Fans are awesome. You made it possible for us record an album in Seattle. To play a show outside of Wales. To play in a baseball stadium in Japan. A haunted restaurant in Santa Cruz. a handful of US universities and see Mexico! I saw Mexico! You girls and guys are truly humbling, and I hope I never took you for granted too much. I probably did. Thank you for knowing the words, for bringing cakes, and books, and t-shirts, and comics, and buying us drinks and for waiting and driving miles and cheering and clapping. For reading or watching or listening to anything we have ever done. Thanks. You kept us going and will continue to be the life blood of the Los Campesinos! family.

I was trawling through old photos trying to find the best one to represent a start and an ending, but I got lost in old memories and the process of ageing.

(God we looked young, look at our skin! Look at our clothes! Cardigans and ripped up Distillers t shirts, oh I still have that.)

I have eons of photos of the band at the start, at rehearsals, house parties, with experimental hair, (mine black, Gareth long and wispy, Neil’s fringe nearly covering his eyes and Tom always wearing his hat) and at our first shows. I remember when we first started, our summer of label romance where everyone wanted to take us out for a pub meal, and all we ever did was go out in Cardiff drinking and dancing. We said we would change our last names to Campesinos! if we ever played in the states, but we tempted fate, and we never changed out names but we did get to go to America a lot.

I sometimes wonder what alternative universe me would be doing if she didn’t go to that first rehearsal in Ollie’s bedroom. I think she is picking her nose right now in a bath of baked beans, bored and crazy because she spent all day in an office sitting next to a woman who told her about the time she slept with a navy seal. No one cares Brenda.

So 500 plus gigs, millions of air miles, gallons of backstage whisky and wine, a tonne of sweaty cheese and pita bread, a litre of tears shed on stage, hundreds of “don’t fuck up,” panics, hundreds of fuck ups, hundreds of “this is blowing my mind” moments whilst starring into a sea of unfamiliar and impassioned faces, break ups and ill advised hook ups later (don’t date musicians, like ever, we’re all mental,) I realise I have seen all the travel lodges, service stations, and states of America (apart from Alaska) and I have tasted more Marks and Spencer’s meals then I thought possible. I’ve been with some of the finest people I know doing a very unnatural thing, which is both the best and the worst experience and often at the same time, but never the same any given year. And we have done it fucking well. The best we can.

God I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help it, I was a middle child.

So some more self-indulgence.

I want to thank some people for being ace. John Goodmanson – a brilliant producer and a lesson in style and grace under pressure. Joe Puleo – the best tour manager, you never feel anything but safe in his company. Kelly Pickard – inspiration, mentor, wisest woman. Paul Rattcliff- The loyalist soundman whom gives so much. Kev and Alun and Mark Bowen, Wichita, Ben and Vicky, Gareth Dobson, anyone we have toured with or supported or who I have met along the way, everyone I forgot. I haven’t forgot, I am thinking about you.

My mum, because she told me I could be anything and do anything except get my tongue pierced. And I did that anyway, and she still wasn’t mad at me.

And the band.. Kim, Jason, Gareth, Tom, Neil and Rob who I will miss sharing experiences with that no one will understand, I love you guys. Like, loads. From our first Sweet Dreams, until our last, thanks.

Okay, too long, too emo. Bye bye.

Ellen x

[starryseth]

It's been a minute since I posted something so here's some cute head cannons for my favorite DSMP boys <3

Jschlatt

Okay so Jschlatt is 100000% a secret romance kinda guy. He loves the mystery and gets a thrill out of keeping a secret. He may seem like an open kinda person but when it comes to his s/o he likes to keep it private. That's probably why his fans and friends didn't know he had a partner until they got married

He used to be on a community baseball team and each game he would give you his hat to wear because he believed that you were his good luck charm. So when you were sick for the big game, he quit because he wouldn't have any luck and he would feel like the reason they lost.

He finds it adorable when he ends a late night stream and he crawls to the bedroom and finds you cuddled with Jambo.

He can't say no to you. Like at all. So when you ask to do his hair and makeup he agrees. He loved the way you looked so happy with your work and he wouldn't mind letting you do it again just to see you have a sense of accomplishment. Don't ask him about it though. He'll deny it.

Sapnap

Sapnap loveesssss to show you off. Like legit. In the group chat with the rest of the boys sap is constantly talking about you. They are tired of it

I believe he is a Pyro. Like anything and everything to do with fire and he's in so you constantly have to keep an eye on him. Granted he is very safe with fire but still. (Don't play with fire it's very dangerous)

He is actually very neat and organized. He has all of his and your clothes arranged in order of colors. In rainbow order of course. He also has the same hoodie in several different colors.

He gets frustrated easily so he is constantly doing things that he likes. One of those things is coloring. H loves to sit down with you and just be a kid again. You guys have a drawer in your room filled with kids coloring books and coloring supplies.

Karl

Karl loves when you play with his hair. Original I know. But it just makes him melt when you start to braid his hair or just testing new hair styles on him.

I believe that he loves being your Guinea pig for new recipes that you make if you like to cook. Anything you make for him is made from love. He genuinely almost cried when he was sick and he tried some of the soup you made and it tasted just like the soup his mom made him when he was younger

He lives to be around people. All day everyday it is energy but during the peaceful moments you guys go out and play mini golf or go to cafes to try new things. He loves your little adventures.

Karl adores playing games with you. His two loves in life are you and video games. He had you help him out with the tales of the SMP so it would be fun. It was actually inspired by a stupid convo you guys had over a dinner date.

Wilbur

Wilbur will absolutely sing you to sleep. Personally I have nightmares and I can certainly see him just being like "oh love, it's alright. Come here and just close your eyes." And he just hums and sings everything he lives about you while you fall back asleep

Every gig he doesn't with the band he has you in the front row or off to the side of the stage so when the band needs water, you can give it to them. Everyone loves you from the band and appreciates your company.

Tommy is like Wilburs younger brother. Everyone knows this. You are like the peace keeper between the two. They often squabble and when they do you grab one ear of each and make them apologize. They immediately do because they know if they don't they'll be put in the get along shirt.

Wilbur can be kinda insecure. He doesn't believe that he can be good enough for you so on those days you baby him. He taught you to play guitar so you sing to him. Even if you may not sound the best while singing, he enjoys the love that you both have.

Charlie

During days when he's doing chuckle sandwich he makes non stop dad jokes. Like it's bad. It's like it's his ritual to get ready. Like take his little book of jokes away from him.

He is a giant goofball all the time. He loves making people laugh and enjoys seeing you smile along at his dumb attempt of making a new language called "slimenican"

When he was doing gen loss you thought his slime monster character was just an evil version of his Minecraft character and picked on him for it. He didn't understand what you meant until he saw the first episode and then it clicked.

[purplesurveys]

1781

Who was the first person you talked to today?: My sister.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?: It'd be very hard to hate my dad.

Is there something right now that has you worried?: Little bit, yeah.

Ever been on a golf cart? I don't think I've ever ridden one. Also not surprising considering I've never played golf nor seen a golf cart in real life, lol.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face?: Only because I got slapped first.

Last person you took a nap with? : I only take naps alone...

Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom?: No. My room, my comfort and my rules – it's the one place I feel safest so it'd be weird to keep stuff in there that would make me embarrassed.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well?: It makes me feel extremely unsettled but not sad. Like you're not supposed to be seeing your mom cry and now that she is it makes the world feel upside down kind of unsettled.

What is one stereotype associated with your race that is actually true?: We're the best at being a concert crowd and will always always show artists good energy and a good time.

What color shirt are you wearing?: A really dark purple, almost gray tank top.

The last person you kissed needs you at 3 AM, would you help them?: Depends on what they need help with, but realistically I would first demand why they're being a nuisance after three years of no contact.

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?: I don't think I've heard those words before.

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?: I would in the sense that I'd likely want to piss them off even more on purpose.

Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them later?: Sure.

Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment?: No, I'm on vacation so I have like 0.0005 braincells working at the moment lol. I suppose I have a few micro worries about work, which by default always linger; but like what I do every weekend I try not to think about them.

Do you do something illegal on a regular basis?: I don't think so.

Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out?: I've never moved out but we have had millions of big fights. Our personalities clash in the ABSOLUTE WORST way you can imagine personalities clashing, and we're the most dysfunctional mom-daughter pair to ever be. It's why I'm super allergic to those coming-of-age-mom-daughter movies like Lady Bird lol.

What grade is the last person you texted in?: I haven't texted anyone who's still in school in a hot minute now.

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?: I'm not liking anyone.

Do you think it’s cute when someone kisses your forehead?: Sure.

Who was the last person you had a serious talk with?: Andi.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship?: Not that I'm aware of, but I would hardly be surprised if this were the case.

Is the person you last texted single?: I don't even remember who I last texted lol.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?: Present.

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B?: Nope.

The person that you miss right now, what does their first name start with?: I'm not missing anyone.

Do you think true love ever really dies?: Depends. It's a different answer for everyone.

Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you?: Nope.

Have you ever been punched in the face?: I have not been punched in the face.

Do you have make-up on?: Nope.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge?: Nah. I could talk crap about someone first to get my feelings out then move on lol, but I wouldn't plot out revenge.

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?: Mhm, especially when I had to move on from them.

Has anyone ever given you roses?: Yes.

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with?: Yes.

Have you ever kissed the last person you sent a text message to?: No.

Ever get hurt by someone who promised they wouldn’t?: Eh yeah, that's bound to happen to all of us at least once.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?: I can if I have to but I generally wear my heart on my sleeve.

Is there someone you would enjoy hitting right now?: I'm good, thanks.

Who is the last person to call you gorgeous?: I can't remember; I don't really hear that word a lot.

Are you a fan of Hello Kitty?: Nope, not really a fan of any 'cute' things.

When was the last time you cried?: A few days ago when I caught another snippet of that viral Korean show episode with the kid who was being neglected by his parents.

What does your current Facebook status mean?: I never do Facebook statuses lol, I just share posts that I find either funny or want to dogshow.

Could you go a month without cursing?: I could but I'd prefer not to.

Do you think a lot before you fall asleep?: No. I tend to exhaust myself or stay up as long as I could, so I can fall asleep within seconds.

Do you care deeply about others?: On a surface level I'd say yeah – but not deeply.

Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed?: Ooh, hate this question. Having sex, I guess, since that's sliiiightly a litle bit more socially acceptable. I still would want to die though.

Do you like it when people call you babe?: If it's not a significant other, no.

Have you ever kissed someone who was over 21?: Yeah...

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?: 26.

Do you owe anybody money?: Yes thanks for reminding me I need to pay back Bea for the Shake Shack I asked her to get!!

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette/lighter?: I have not.

Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot?: Nope.

Have you ever kissed a football player?: I haven't.

Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy?: Sure.

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?: I say hi and see from there if they'll be receptive or be a snob. I think it would be the latter though judging from how they acted when they unexpectedly saw Andi at a football game a few months ago, lol. Apparently she looked super flustered and avoided the shit out of their eyes.

Will you have sex tonight?: Nope.

Are you bi-sexual?: No.

How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed?: Hundreds.

Has anyone lied to you today?: I haven't even uttered a word to anyone today lol, it's only 7:11 AM.

Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you?: I mean Angela's dog Hailey died two weeks ago, so yes.

Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?: I don't have any secrets but I would imagine no. I remember how pissed I got when I found out Angela shared the news of my breakup with a mutual friend – but I was already way too depressed and suicidal at the time to ever direct anger at her so nothing came out of it.

Would you ever get a tattoo with someone’s name on it?: Just initials but never a full name.

Would you ever get your nipples pierced?: Nope.

Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone?: Yes.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?: No.

[nemesyaaa]

THE MOODBOARD WITH MY TWO BOYFRIENDS ??? HELLOOOOO ?????

THIS IS HOW I FEEL CURRENTLY TYSM WKZKDKZKEELLEIEIDIZLWLZKDIZIIEE

FEELING INSANE WHILE READING. THAT WAS EXTRA I SWEAR !! NOT RAFE BEING SUCH A BIG TEASE IN FRONT OF TOPPER. THIS MAN IS SO COCKY. PLEASE RAFE X CORRUPTION KINK IS SO FUCKING GOOD. HE ENJOYS THE SITUATION WITH ALL HIS HEART. POOR READER LMFAOOOO. GETTING THIS GUY AS A FREAK BF 🥹🥹🥹🥹 THAT WAS SO GOOOOD. I WAS REALLY WAITING FOR AND I'M NOT DISAPOINTED !! YOU WILL SEE ME ON ALL OF YOUR RAFE X TOPPER SISTER!READER

Topper wasn't a big fan of your boyfriend, even though he's his best friend. He always thought you deserve someone better than Rafe. Your boyfriend always brings you along whenever he hangs out with your brother. LMFAOOOO THAT'S LITERALLY YOUR BSF BRO WTFFF

-"Dude! Like I get it, she's your girlfriend, but my sister didn't have to come with us. She doesn't even play golf," as you sit in the golf cart, you hear your brother complaining about your presence. You decide to get out of the cart and walk to them. You feel your heart beating faster at the sight of Rafe in his tight shirt, wearing his usual cap backward. -"What's up, princess? Come give your man a kiss," his grin appears on his face as soon as he sees you. THIS IS SUCH A TOPPER LINE TO SAY. I LOVE IT ??? NOT RAFE BEING A BRAT 💀💀💀 I'M GONNA KMS LOVE THE TENSION

You run to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pampering him with kisses. You jolt when you feel his hand sliding under your skirt. Your eyes widen at the sound of his chuckle. -"atta girl, not wearing panties like I told you, uh?" He says out loud for your brother to hear. You suddenly feel small and embarrassed at the thought of Topper knowing that you're sexually active. YKKK I'M JUST A GIRL 😓😓😓😓 THIS DRIVING ME INSANE. BC THE SPIT KINK ??? ARGHWJZJKDZKKDKZKEEKZKDKKZIEIZ

-"you're disgusting, I can't believe what I am hearing," Topper responds, you watch your brother leave, making his way to the golf cart. Rafe pulls you closer to him and grabs your face with his hand, -"open up" he whispers to you, and before you can understand what's happening you slowly open your mouth, causing your boyfriend to spit in your mouth, -"and yet she loves it" Rafe yells loud enough for your brother to hear it. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 THE DIZZY FEELING IN ME

Rafe eventually drives you home safely. As soon as you end up alone with him in your room, he starts getting touchy, as if he hasn't seen you in a long time. It's safe to say that your brother is not home tonight. WHERE IS THE PART2?? I'M AT YOUR DOOR 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

She's my sister

Summary | your brother doesn't really like the idea of you dating his bestfriend. Request by @nemesyaaa

Pairing | Topper's sister!reader x Rafe

Warning | NSFW; no smut but kind off sexual (between reader and Rafe!!), rafe being gross.. and driving kind off dangerously.

A/N | I hope you like it nem nem!! Thanks you so much I feel so honored getting a request from youu♡

︵︵⠀⠀ ݁ 𓂃୨ 🎀 ୧𓂃 ݁ ⠀⠀︵︵

Topper wasn't a big fan of your boyfriend, even though he's his best friend. He always thought you deserve someone better than Rafe. Your boyfriend always brings you along whenever he hangs out with your brother.

-"Dude! Like I get it, she's your girlfriend, but my sister didn't have to come with us. She doesn't even play golf," as you sit in the golf cart, you hear your brother complaining about your presence. You decide to get out of the cart and walk to them. You feel your heart beating faster at the sight of Rafe in his tight shirt, wearing his usual cap backward. -"What's up, princess? Come give your man a kiss," his grin appears on his face as soon as he sees you.

You run to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pampering him with kisses. You jolt when you feel his hand sliding under your skirt. Your eyes widen at the sound of his chuckle. -"atta girl, not wearing panties like I told you, uh?" He says out loud for your brother to hear. You suddenly feel small and embarrassed at the thought of Topper knowing that you're sexually active.

Topper rolls his eyes, he can't help but feel a slight anger towards Rafe. -"Are you corrupting my sister?" He steps closer to both of you and gently yanks you away from Rafe's grip. You look up at Topper feeling guilty. -"What? You're jealous or something, Top?" Rafe speaks while smirking, his eyes not leaving yours.

-"you're disgusting, I can't believe what I am hearing," Topper responds, you watch your brother leave, making his way to the golf cart. Rafe pulls you closer to him and grabs your face with his hand, -"open up" he whispers to you, and before you can understand what's happening you slowly open your mouth, causing your boyfriend to spit in your mouth, -"and yet she loves it" Rafe yells loud enough for your brother to hear it.

You hit Rafe's chest, a wave of embarrassment running through your mind. But you quickly get put in your place as he taps on your cheek. -"Swallow and behave, don't make me tell it twice." He grabs you by the hand to join Topper in the golf cart.

As soon as Topper sees Rafe sitting in the passenger seat, knowing exactly what he has in mind, Topper says, -"No way. Rafe you're driving. I'm not letting my sister sit on your lap right next to me," pointing his finger at Rafe's chest and pulling him out of the car. -"Are you serious right now? I can't have my girl sitting on my lap?" Rafe responds, keeping his eyes on you as Topper takes the passenger seat.

-"It's okay, Rafe, don't worry," you try to reason with him as he walks to the other side of the car. -"Dude! Are you five? Drive us to the house now; I don't have all day," your brother starts to yell as he makes you sit on his lap and then buckles the seatbelt over both of you.

Rafe lets out a loud sigh as he sits in the passenger seat and starts the engine. During the journey, there is a loud silence; none of you dare to talk. All of a sudden, Topper breaks the silence when he sees Rafe's hand slowly sliding under your skirt. -"Rafe, get your hand off my sister!" your brother yells, wrapping his arm around you.

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, -"you know, I can't let this slide, she's my girl, alright?" He looks at you, sending death stares at Topper from time to time. -"Rafe, keep your eyes on the road, please," you start to fidget with the hem of your skirt, afraid of what could happen if your boyfriend continues not looking at the road. -"Yeah, listen to your princess, eyes on the road, man," Topper sighs.

Rafe eventually drives you home safely. As soon as you end up alone with him in your room, he starts getting touchy, as if he hasn't seen you in a long time. It's safe to say that your brother is not home tonight.

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