#Best Girl Bernie
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Best girl Bernie with her deadeye
#my art#digital art#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fe3h bernadetta#bernadetta von varley#best girl bernie#I've been working on this off and on for a while#Turns out burnout is a bit of a pain#Doesn't help that I can see everything wrong but don't know how to fix it#But nevertheless have a Bernie to spice things up#Just remember to leave her in her room after she's done with classes and battle
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god bless Erica Mendez who got paid to sigh and be annoyed into a mic. Maki is a gem. not a particularly nice gem but some diamonds are made for Cutting
#danganronpa#maki harukawa#very sweet VA btw#have talked to her a bit#she's also Nagisa#and in other stuff:#Akko Little Witch#Ryuko Kill la Kill#Megumin Konosuba#Aggretsuko#Bernie 3Houses#etc etc#quote Mendez: “i only voice best girls”#her partner btw is Lucien Dodge who is Hifumi and Keebo#and Yuma Rain Code#among others#very nice people!
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JUST WATCHED GODZILLA VS KONG AND IM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THEM SOMEONE HELP ME
also ive never needed to see a sequel more than i need to see The New Empire...... i need to see it right now.
but also i think im gonna watch King of Monsters too... i need my big monster fix..........
#heres my review: tldr i loved this movie if you couldnt tell lmao#i love the human characters. I dont know all of their names but i love the dynamic of the little girl and Kong was sooo nice#the Apex CEOs daughter completely deserved to be crushed by Kong. i literally cheered not joking#I'm soooo interested in what Kong and Godzilla's dynamic is gonna be in The New Empire. Their fight was the best thing ever to me and#i just wanna see them team up again..............#oH and also the other humans were cool i like the lady and the guy they were fun#and the side plot with Bernie and Maddison and Josh was awesome too#but also i just like that kind of thing anyway.... uncovering a big conspiracy#surprised that the two main groups didn't meet up?? normally thats a thing but i dont mind#godzilla#godzilla vs kong#monsterverse#kong
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big mouth, big brain (!youtuber x op81) ~ part 1
synopsis: in which case y/n, a video essayist pops up on oscar's youtube feed, and he falls in love with the way she speaks and tells stories
smau ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
profile | masterlist | next ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
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yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, user1 and 119,102 others
yourusername: "bernie ecclestone, the f**king genius behind f1" is out now on youtube! hope you all enjoy this video <3
view comments:
user1: when queen drops an hour and half long video accompanied with sources and proper citations you KNOW its going to be a great day
user2: omg wait i'm so excited to watch this! no one ever talks about him in f1 video essays, so glad you made a video about him <3
liked by yourusername
user3: this video TEAAA omg
user4: HELLO GUYS?? are we even NOTICING that oscar is in the likes??!
user5: wait omg i just saw that, what the hell..
user6: @/yourusername GIRL ARE YOU SEEING THAT OSCAR LIKED AND IS LURKING.
yourusername: girl, i am trying my best to KEEP MY COMPOSURE
yourusername: it's not working
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
oscarpiastri: wow, this video is so good! i enjoyed it a lot!!
yourusername: tysm oscar, this means a lot to me! glad you enjoyed it 🥰🫶🏻
username7: you are NOT fooling me girl, you are definitely shaking, crying, and screaming rn cuz he commented
username8: bro is THIRSTY he used three exclamation points
username9: get in line oscar, we all think y/n is hot too
username10: blessed mommy y/n 😍😍😍
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yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, user1 and 152,998 others
yourusername: guys, i got flown out
view comments:
yourusername: #hoes-in-different-area-codes
oscarpiastri: heyyy, i'm not a hoe 😒😞🙁
yourusername: that's right, you're my hoe
liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: 🫶🏻🫶🏻
user1: WHATTHEHELL HE FLEW HER OUT
user2: aight give me my man with money, where is he??
user3: idk guys, i kind of get the vibe that she's gold-digging him
user4: bffr. she makes plenty of money from vlogging video-essaying, she's been on youtube making vids since 2017
user5: yeah, be so fr. she was 13 then, and she's 20 now. i KNOW mawmaw is rich 🤑💲💸
user6: NAHHH he flew her out for a date that's so sweet I need that so bad
liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri
user7: oscar, while you are at it, could you please buy y/n the valentino garavani crystal-embellished shoulder-bag in red or blue <333
oscarpiastri: duly noted ✅
oscarpiastri: valentino✍🏻 bag ✍🏻🗒️
yourusername: NONONAOO PLS DO NOT DO THAT OSCAR
yourusername: AHHHHH NOOOO
user8: good lord the bag is 5K.
oscarpiastri: don't worry about it🤭🤑🫡
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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#oscar piastri#op81#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81 fluff#oscar#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fanfic#!youtuber x op81#!youtube#youtube#youtuber#!youtuber
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Thank you!! My daughter LOVED it (“So that’s why you asked who was my favorite characters!”) and so do I 🖤
commission for @ikustioa :D!! thanks so much!!!💜
#poor bernie bear#they did her dirty with that hair in three hopes#Claude is best girl except for several other girls
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Rory
Leah Williamson x reader
-> A teenage squabble over a plant turns into a heartwarming symbol of family as two best friends prepare to embark on the journey of motherhood together.
-> Happy (a little late) Birthday @alotofpockets!
➳ Masterlist
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“What the fuck is that?”
“Leah Williamson, Language! Or I will call Amanda!” Your mum’s voice was shrill as she scolded a thirteen-year-old Leah for her cursing. Leah just had a smug smirk on her face, she got her potty mouth from her mum, who always acted outraged when her eldest swore in front of other people.
“That is my favorite plant, Lee! My sister gave it to me.”
Your best friend didn’t even have the audacity to look guilty or lie. “Well that’s fucking hideous thing, I’ll tell you that.”
“Leah!” Oh shit. She just got first-named.
“W- Well you can’t tell me that’s a pretty plant! What is it even called? Tree Tumbo?
Now that she saw the tears brimming your eyes she knew she had fucked up. Her hand that had flown, trying to defend herself slowly sank.
“No, it’s called Dracaena. But I named it Rory, short for Aurora.”
Just last week Leah and you had talked about names for future children, or rather your future children. The blonde was already sure that she liked girls, so kids were out of sight for now. Aurora was a name that stuck with her though, and you had promised to name your first kid Aurora if your husband would agree.
“Oh… Darling, I’m so so-”
“I think you should go home now.” Your teary eyes nearly killed the teen, but with one last kiss on your forehead, she left the room, saying goodbye to your very confused mother.
—
“No way.”
“Yes, Leah! I am not leaving her behind!”
The blonde defender tried to barricade the door and deny you access, but with just a gentle nudge she moved, even picking up the heavy plant for you.
“I can’t believe you’re taking that fucking thing with you.”
After that eventful first day of having Rory, Leah had properly apologized with chocolate, flowers, and a hand-knitted little sweater for a plant pot. She obviously didn't make it herself. God, that would have been a disaster. Her Granny, Berny, had made it for her.
“Well she’s my daughter and as long as I am alive I will take her with me. Either deal with it or go.”
Leah was stunned standing in the hallways “OH! You wouldn’t dare, darling! What would you do without me? Who carries the grocery bags for you?”
“You haven’t carried anything yet!”
The two of you had just signed your first senior contract with Arsenal for a year - and to live closer to the facilities you were moving into a house with Emma Mitchell and Emma Byrne. Both of them were experienced players and filled with excitement they had agreed to take two young talents in.
But seeing you call a plant your daughter, and Leah hating it with such passion surely was a sight to see and just a teaser for the coming year.
—
“You can’t be serious?”
Leah had been busy over the day, doing media stuff. So with having the new house all to yourself, you brought Rory back in, much to your girlfriend's demise.
She had just re-signed her arsenal contract for the foreseeable future while you had signed with the London City Lionesses last year, working part-time as a librarian at your closest school - a dream of yours.
After multiple failed relationships with men, you had come to the realization that the real thing was right in front of you, in the form of your best friend.
Now you had moved out of the old, small apartment into your very own first home, and Leah apparently liked to ignore the time plans you had made. So now you stood there, Rory still in your hands as your girlfriend got out of the car.
“I thought we talked about this Darling!”
Quickly she had walked over, taking the now huge plant out of your hands, and carried it into the house.
“Where do you want it then?”
She already knew that you couldn’t leave Rory behind, you had looked so sad when you promised her not to take the Dracaena with you.
“Next to the couch please!”
“Of course darling…”
—
The nerves picked at you as you made a little sign with ‘big sister’ on it. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to Leah that you are pregnant, the road here was long after all. But you would never know.
Rory would officially be a big sister in the making, in just a few more months, and then a little baby would share the place with your loved plant.
After leaning the sign next to the ultrasound and the pregnancy test you sat back down at the dining table, now you just needed to wait until your wife was home.
It was as if you were in a trance, looking at your book but not actually taking anything in from it when the blonde entered your home.
“I’m home darling!” Her first act of service once entering was greeting you with a kiss - but she was a little taken aback by your nervous expression. You had been home the entire day, what could have happened?
“I’m gonna shower, my love. I’ll leave the door open for ya!”
Hastily you stood up, pulling Leah back by her arm, ignoring the cocky smirk on her beautiful face. “Can you water Rory please?”
Her nose scrunched up in confusion. You, letting her near your beloved plant? unheard of, but she’d take it any day if it would make you happy.
“Yeah! Sure!"
Your wife nearly skipped through the living room, a half-full watering can in one hand, a müsli riegel in the other.
“How much does she need?”
No answer.
“Darling, What’s up? You’ve been we- Oh.”
She saw it.
the watering can and food forgotten she picked up the hints you had positioned, looking at the positive test and the picture.
“It worked! We’re gonna be mothers!”
#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso imagines#arsenal wfc x reader#engwnt x reader#lionesses x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson
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Prompt Day 13: Sex, Drugs & Rock n Roll
Word Count: 1000
Rating: T
Pairing: (All in relationships that are talked about) Eddie x Reader, Jeff x Barb
CW: Language, talk of sex
Summary: The guys make a bet to see who can go the longest without sex
This is for my girls @munson-blurbs @the-unforgivenn @rip-quizilla and @word-wytch. The idea for this fic came from an extremely entertaining conversation about the CC guys’ sex lives 😂
@corrodedcoffinfest
“I could so be high and not have chips.”
Eddie, Jeff, and Frank chuckle, knowing Gareth’s claim is wholly false.
“I don’t think you could even give up chips sober,” Frank says.
The four friends are at Jeff’s apartment, getting high while watching Weekend at Bernie’s.
“What?” Gareth asks, brushing his hands together to get rid of chip dust. “You think I don’t have any willpower?”
“Out of the four of us? You definitely have the least,” Eddie says before taking another drag.
“That’s bullshit.”
“Wanna bet?” Jeff asks.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” Gareth declares.
“On who can go the longest without chips?” Jeff laughs. “Dude, you’re the only one who would go into withdrawal. We’d kick your ass.”
“Fine,” Gareth says as he gets off the burgundy couch. He stumbles over to the television and switches it off.
“Hey!”
“What the hell?”
“Dude!”
Gareth’s doing his best to stare them down and Eddie doesn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not working.
“What’s something we all like, huh? Be a real test of willpower?” Gareth asks.
“Music?” Frank suggests.
“Nah, that’s unavoidable. Grocery store? Music. Elevator? Music,” Eddie points out.
“Oh.” The way Gareth’s eyes light up after he says it makes the guys worried. “I know exactly how we can test who has the best willpower.”
“And what’s that?” Jeff asks.
“I’ll even lay down twenty—no, fifty dollars on this bet,” Gareth says.
“Just tell us,” Eddie whines.
“I wager I can go the longest without having sex,” Gareth says with a self-satisfied smirk.
“Dude, really?” Eddie asks. “You want us to give up sex?”
“What’s wrong, Eddie?” Gareth taunts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t think you could do it? Don’t have the willpower?”
“No, I just like fucking my girlfriend,” Eddie says with a laugh.
“I’ll take that action—er, bet,” Jeff says, surprising Eddie.
“What?” Eddie practically shouts.
“I mean,” Jeff starts with a shrug, “it does seem like a fair test. We all live with our girlfriends.”
“I’m in,” Frank says. “Fifty down for me, too.”
“Means it’s just you who’s out, Eddie,” Gareth taunts. “I’m starting to think you're wussing out on us.”
Eddie rolls his eyes and takes another hit.
“Jesus, fine, I’ll do it. What’re the rules gonna be?”
“Everyone puts fifty in,” Gareth starts.
“And no one tell their girl,” Jeff adds. “This is about our willpower.”
“Yeah, that’ll be fun.” Frank’s voice drips in sarcasm. “Ally wants to have sex and I reject her.”
“Just pretend to fall asleep on the couch,” Gareth suggests with a shrug.
“You really think you can keep your hands off Annie?” Eddie asks Gareth, an amused smirk on his face.
“No rule about my hands not being on her.”
“Okay, yeah, that should be clarified,” Jeff says. “When we say, ‘no sex,’ what exactly does that entail?”
Gareth tilts his head from side to side as he thinks about it.
“No vaginal, oral, or anal,” he decides. “No hand jobs. Basically, your girlfriend can’t get you off in any way and you can’t get her off.”
“We’re idiots for doing this,” Eddie complains.
“Feel free to forfeit and be the loser,” Gareth taunts.
“I could use that extra $150 bucks,” Jeff says. “Weren’t you looking for a new guitar, Ed? This would help.”
“Fuck,” Eddie sighs.
“So, we’re all agreed?” Gareth asks. “Fifty bucks in for each of us. Starting today, we see who can go the longest without sex.”
The three others confirm their assent—and just in time.
The front door to the apartment opens and Barb steps in.
“Hi, guys,” she greets as she sets a few grocery bags down.
“Hey, Barb,” they hum in unison.
“What’re you up to?” she asks.
“Watched Weekend at Bernie’s,” Jeff says, pushing himself off the couch to go kiss his girlfriend.
“Still going to that bar where the manager wants you guys to play? To finalize things?” Barb asks.
“Yep,” Eddie replies as he stands up.
Gareth looks down at his watch, then says, “If we leave now, we can get pizza first.”
“Yeah, go get pizza,” Barb says, giving Jeff’s arm a loving squeeze. “I’ve got plenty here I can have for dinner. Just have to unpack it first.”
“Let’s get Surfer Boy,” Gareth suggests as he heads for the door.
The guys mumble their agreement and Barb gives them a wave as they head out.
“Have fun, boys.”
A chorus of “bye Barb” echoes before they’re all out and Jeff closes the door behind him.
Barb unpacks her bags, keeping an ear out for cars leaving the parking lot. This is the second time the slightly open window has been used to Barb’s advantage in the last ten minutes.
Once all the food is put away and Barb has checked that the guys have left, she shuffles over to the phone on the wall. She dials your number and impatiently waits for you to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Barb,” she says.
“Oh, hey! What’s up?” you ask.
“I heard our men having an interesting conversation when I got home. I don’t think they realize how loud they talk—or that they had a window open.”
“Oh, God,” you say with a laugh. “What’re they up to now?”
“They’ve made a bet with one another to see who can go the longest without sex,” she says. “And they’re not going to tell us girls about it.”
A giddy gasp comes from the other end of the phone as you think of all the possible ways you could have fun messing with Eddie on this.
“Oh, Barb,” you croon. “I think we need to call up Ally and Annie and do some lingerie shopping.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Barb confirms. “So happy we’re on the same page of making this bet as hard as possible for them.”
You chuckle.
“I know four women who are suddenly going to become the biggest teases these guys have ever seen.”
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#corrodedcoffinfest#eddie munson x y/n#gareth#jeff#frank#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fic#CCF
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Characters for the New TMNT 🐢
❥ Hello everyone! So this will be similar to my previous Kingdom Hearts posts where I’ll try to predict a few things for the future! It’s just for fun but I hope you guys enjoy! 💚
⚠️ Also quick warning, there are spoilers for the Mutant Mayhem movie & the Tales of the TMNT on Paramount! ⚠️
Casey Jones - Okay, so I understand there was a scrapped concept art for Casey Jones from the Mutant Mayhem movie. But whether Casey ends up being a boy or a girl, I really wanna see their friendship again! They always have good chemistry together, & I can imagine them meeting if Raph tries out for the hockey team at school! Jones is like the best player on the team so Raph has some beef. 😅 Not intentionally but I can see a rivalry happening (lol).
Karai - This was more of a what if moment but since the Shredder will likely appear in the sequel movie, Karai would be like one of those characters that turns good in the end. Likely because she never wanted to serve the Foot Clan in the first place. It would also be cool if she went to the same high school as the main cast, either before or at the end of the film.
Slash - This character was also what if moment, since Slash is usually a small villain. But I really like what the 2012 TMNT did, making him a hero during his arc! I feel if he did show up in MM universe, I can see him being a bit of an antihero at first? Or some kind of mutated crook before agreeing to help the turtles out.
Mona Lisa - Raph’s love interest I feel was pretty underrated until the 2012 version put their own spin on things! She’s one of my favorite characters & I’d love to see her again! For this version, I would like to see a human design since we haven’t seen that before! But then she gets mutated later on & perhaps that can be a new story in the future? With humans getting mutated too at some point.
The Rat King - So, I’m actually not so sure for this one? I know Splinter was the Rat King temporarily during the Tales of the TMNT show. But I did see a post, unfortunately I can’t remember where 😅🙏, but someone said that Bad Bernie might end up being mutated? I can see that, especially since he already looks like a rat or mouse. And he did come back after the East River 3 Arc.
Miyamoto Usagi - Okay this was a lot tougher than I thought. 😅 I understand Usagi is like from an alternate dimension usually? And for a funny spinoff series, that could still work? But maybe more on the science-style of things rather than the magic side? Like maybe TCRI makes a giant portal & the turtles get sucked into it. Landing in Usagi’s dimension by accident!
Venus de Milo - I have yet to see the 90s movies but I’m still a big fan of Venus de Milo! She is so cool & I feel she’s a good contrast to the boys. I’m not sure if she’d be related to them or not, but we can stick with the cousin thing for now. Anywho, for her backstory, I feel maybe she was another experiment from Baxter Stockman? Or maybe TCRI who wanted to recreate his project but she escapes! And meets the turtles!
Irma Langinstein - So I only know Irma from the 2012 version of TMNT, but if she were introduced into MM I feel there’s a lot of cool stuff she could do! Maybe she’s a human friend April makes or she’s some kind of ninja turtle fan girl (lol)! But so far I’ve seen people portray her as a super smart kid & becoming best friends with Donnie, which I like!
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt mutant mayhem#tmnt headcanons#tmnt#tales of the tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtle headcanons#teenage mutant ninja turtles mutant mayhem#mutant mayhem#tales of tmnt#tmntmm#tmnt casey jones#tmnt karai#tmnt slash#tmnt the rat king#tmnt mona lisa#tmnt usagi#usagi yojimbo#tmnt venus#tmnt irma
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rachel green x reader headcanons
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • f•r•i•e•n•d•s masterlist ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
a/n: we’re all a little in love with rachel right? on a mission to write hcs for all the friends characters 💋🩰
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dating rachel would include…
ok so you and rachel first met at her office
wow, it’s not like she’s ever done that before. *cough* gavin, tag, mark (kinda) *cough*
what i’m saying is miss girl has a type
so you both worked in the same department and she started to develop a crush on you
one night when you were both working late
you started talking and it eventually led to you making out on her desk
aaand you’ve been dating ever since
her friends were a little skeptical at first of her relationship with her coworker
but eventually as they all got to know you, you became one of the group
ross took longer than the rest of them to warm up to you ‘because of the history’
honestly rachel spoils you
always giving you fashion advice and buying you clothes
“oh, honey, this looks so good on you. and, you know, now you can throw out those old ones’
she loves your butt
calls you sweetie
does that thing when you’re holding hands where she traces your hand with her finger
pillow princess
she writes little sticky notes for you and puts them all over your apartment and in your pockets
and she always smells so good
she drags you along to all of these spas places and you guys have spa days
she’s really good at giving gifts
not so great at receiving them
‘oh, sweetie, i love it. it’s beautiful!’
‘rach, do you want the receipt?’
‘no! …. actually, can i just hold onto it?’
but she tries really hard to return only the stuff she really doesn’t want
when you all do things as a group you and rach are always sneaking off to go spend some time alone
like once when ross brought all of you along on a muesem tour
and you and rachel were bored
(you can only make fun of abstract art for so long)
so you snuck off to see if you could find something more interesting
and ended up getting caught ‘frolicking’, as the museum guard put it, behind a sculpture of a past president
‘wow, a public place, (y/n)! i don’t know, it’s kind of thrilling! i feel like joey!’
ross was furious
‘i can’t believe you two! in a place of integrity and knowledge!’
to which rachel said
‘i don’t know, ross. i saw a lot of people doing what me and (y/n) were doing in some of those greek paintings back there.’
and that ended that conversation
you guys get to spend almost every second together, what with seeing each other at work as well as outside of it
and sometimes it’s hard pretending not to be a couple at your job
lots of sneaky little touches 🤭
all of her friends love you so much and think you bring out the best in her
(and joey just likes watching you two together)
you guys couldn’t be happier and rachel loves you so much
…even more than weekend at bernie’s
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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope guys enjoyed!! check out my other friends hcs on my masterlist and have a lovely day!! 🎀🖇️
#rachel green#rachel green x reader#rachel green x reader headcanons#rachel green headcanons#f•r•i•e•n•d•s#friends x reader#friends headcanons#friends imagines#friends tv#fanfiction#fanfic#reader insert#x reader#headcanon#friends
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These were just some sketches I did one day for practice. We have Best Girl Bernie from Fire Emblem, Jahy-Sama from Jahy-Sama, Shamiko from Machikado Mazoku, Praxis and Theory from Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Mega Man (again) from Mega Man Star Force, Anya from Spy x Family, and Nezuko from Demon Slayer.
#my art#sketch#fe3h bernadetta#jahy sama wa kujikenai#shamiko#praxis xenoblade#theory xenoblade#mega man star force#anya forger#nezuko#Best Girl Bernie#I'm also proud of how smug Jahy looks#Could've done better with Anya though
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A Helping Hand
Summary: When one more omega is in the group, the suppressants aren’t enough for everyone and you end up getting your heat for the first time since the outbreak. (Part of The Weight of The World AU)
Pairing: alpha!Boba Fett x fem!omega!Reader
Wordcount: 5.1k | Rating: E (18+ only!)
Warnings: Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse AU, A/B/O dynamics (scenting, heats, etc.), yearning, unrequited love (or is it?), a little bit of fluff, explicit sexual content, dry orgasm(?), pet names (princess, good girl, etc.), praise kink
Good morning everyone and happy weekend! I hope the summer is treating you well and that you are looking forward to the second half of this year. 🥰 It has been way too long since I delved into my love for Boba, so if you’re interested in a part two (perhaps he helps Reader out with her heat? 👀), let me know! I really hope that you enjoy this story and would be very very happy if you let me know what you think in a comment or a reblog!
Please note that “Sunshine” is essentially Reader from the Paz version but I had to give her a nickname somehow to make sure she is still part of this.
masterlist | crossposted on AO3
When Charlie presented as an omega, everyone in the group knew you were fucked.
There was no better way to say it.
“We don’t have enough suppressants,” Paz said out loud what everybody knew already, “They are harder and harder to come by and the last pharmacy didn’t have any. Chants is already on half a dosage, I am not sure how we can stretch them more.”
“What’s that? Suppressants?”
Din turned to the little boy that had snuck his way into the conversation. “Something for grownups, buddy, c’mon let us talk in peace.”
You smiled when Grogu shrugged, completely unbothered, and returned to where he had been playing with Pan and Jarno.
Sometimes you envied the kids in your group for the semblance of innocence they could still afford to have. And then you felt bad because this was not the childhood you wanted for them. Stars, you knew about babies being born and the thought that this was the only kind of life they would ever get to know made your stomach hurt and your heart ache.
Yet, they did not have to deal with problems like you were now. The adults of the group had come together, standing together and saying nothing but muddling over the same thing. Deep down, you knew that there was only one solution and you were pretty sure that almost everyone had come to that conclusion.
Almost.
“Maybe I don’t need suppressants,” Charlie piped up, shifting nervously next to his mother, Bernie, “I could pass my heat just like that.”
“No, you can’t,” Briggs said flatly, the old man crossing his arms in front of his chest. He had not been here the longest, only joining the group a few months ago when Paz had found him and Sunshine fighting off a horde of zombies. But despite his recent status in the group, he had risen in rank quickly, his advice and opinion honoured by those you had chosen as unofficial leaders.
One of these leaders was Boba who was standing right across from you. Like Briggs, he had crossed his arms in front of his chest, his biceps bulging and you swallowed, trying to keep your staring as subtle as possible.
With the late summer now cooling down, he had started to wear flannel again and you were a little embarrassed to admit that fall had not only become your favourite season because of the harvests you could make but also because you got to see the alpha stroll around with rolled up sleeves.
Trying your best not to look too long at him, you glanced back at Charlie.
“But what if I –“
“Charlie, dear,” Moira piped up, her voice gentle and kind. It was the same voice she had used to comfort Bernie this morning after she had made the discovery that her son’s scent was not as beta-like as she had hoped. “Briggs is right,” the older woman explained, “You will need your suppressants more than anyone else in this group.”
More than you.
You swallowed heavily, trying to get enough oxygen into your lungs to fool your heart into believing that you were not about to have a full-blown panic attack.
Charlie’s light eyes met yours and you knew him well enough to know that he was feeling the same way.
“Come on, Charlie,” you heard yourself say, stepping forward, “Let’s go for a walk.”
Everyone else let you pass without a word of protest and Paz nodded at you in approval. Bernie looked like she had about a thousand different things on her mind and you could not blame her. The outbreak was the least ideal place to be an omega – much less discover being an omega. And to see that your child had to be an omega in this cruel world? You could not imagine the pain she was going through.
The tree line was only a few steps away from where you had stood, the clearing only barely big enough for you to set up camp, and so it only took a few more steps until the thick trunks provided you with some privacy. With the summer nearing its end, the leaves filtered the sunlight a light gold and you took a moment to appreciate the pure beauty and peace of it.
In the last few years, there had not been enough moments like this.
You watched as Charlie started to pace from tree to tree, bouncing off them like the DVD logo on the sides of the screen. There were a lot of things you wanted to say, a lot of things you wanted to assure him of. But you also knew that he was not prone to listening right now and you could not blame him.
“I don’t want to take your suppressants away from you,” the boy started, tears of anger running down his cheeks, “I – I don’t want to be an omega and I don’t want to have heats and I don’t want everyone to look at me like I am a fucking failure!”
His voice got louder and louder and in peak teenage fashion, he kicked his foot over the ground, sending a bunch of leaves up in the air and sailing down to the mossy floor.
Your brows rose in surprise.
“They are not my suppressants,” you corrected him gently, “They are for those in the group that need it most. And that is you.”
Charlie huffed, still not looking at you.
“It’s okay to be scared,” you said, “And it’s okay that you are unhappy with your presentation. Stars knew I always wanted to be a beta. But,” you stepped closer to him, “We don’t always get to choose what happens. And while it speaks to your character that you don’t want to put me in an uncomfortable situation, Briggs is right. Everyone is. You don’t know what a heat is like, especially your first one. It is too dangerous. At least I had mine already, I know what it is like.”
“That was years ago,” he protested, “Before the outbreak.”
“Yes, but it is still more experience than you have,” you added.
That seemed to get him thinking but he still did not look very happy. Deep down you knew it was not your fault that he was feeling this way or your responsibility to make him feel better. But you remembered how terrified you had been when you had your first heat and how terrified he must feel now.
“Look,” you took a deep breath, “We always knew that there would come a point where we have to choose who gets the suppressants. We were just lucky until now. Lucky that Chants has an implant and that Moira doesn’t get her heats anymore. And we got especially lucky when Sunshine mated with Paz before she could need them,” you said glancing over at where the giant man was gazing at his omega like she hung the stars in the sky.
The gaps in the trees afforded you the perfect view of the camp and when you saw the couple, so very in love with each other, something tugged at your heartstrings. You had never been interested in Paz that way but something you stung when you saw the way he looked at his mate. You wanted someone to look at you the way he looked at her.
You wanted someone to love you.
Charlie’s shaky breath snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Anyway,” you sighed, putting your hand on his shoulders, “If you are feeling like you take the suppressants from me – you are not. I know what I am getting into.”
“I always thought I was going to be a beta,” the boy finally said, revealing the true reason for his upset, “Like mom … and like dad.”
Your heart ached.
“You’re not less like your parents just because your presentation is different,” you assured him, “You will always be their son.”
“I know but … I feel like I disappointed her,” his shoulders slumped, his head “Mom, I mean.”
“Oh honey,” you pulled him in for a hug, “She is not disappointed. She is just worried about you.”
He wrapped his arms around you and you pretended not to notice the way his body was shaking or how his hot tears soaked your shirt.
Minutes passed like this and you could see the birds flying in the crowns of the trees, the leaves and canopy shaking and throwing intricate patterns on the forest floor. You wished you could stay here forever, in this little, safe corner of the world that seemed so far away from everything that wanted to kill you.
But you knew you never stayed in a place too long and it would be time again soon to move somewhere else.
“Thank you for that,” Charlie mumbled and pulled away from you, “Can – Can I be alone for a bit?”
“Sure thing, kid,” you smiled, “Don’t stay too long or else Briggs will send a search party out.”
He nodded and you smiled before making your way back to the camp. The leaves crunched under your shoes and you spotted a little squirrel rushing its way up a tree.
Your head was spinning as you approached the group, the reality of the situation really sinking in. Then again, it really should not be a problem at all. There was no reason to be nervous. After all, you were in a somewhat protected environment and you were an adult. You should be able to face a heat alone. Right?
Everyone was busy doing something (your heart warmed at the sight of Grogu, Pan and Jarno listening completely enraptured to Moira and Briggs retelling a Shakespeare play) but you could not find it in yourself to join anyone.
“All good?” Chants asked you, looking up from where he was working on one of the cars with Din.
You nodded, “All good.”
There was no reason to tell him that you felt like your heart was about to explode from fear or that you could feel your palms get sweaty at the thought of stopping to take the pills immediately.
*
That night, the entire group sat by the fire, seeming like the issue from this morning was long forgotten. Briggs, Paz and Din were bowed over a map they had placed on the hood of Altarf’s truck, probably planning the safest route to take when it was time to change camps.
Altarf and Sluice had been on dinner duty today and the stew they made still sat warm in your belly. The night air had cooled down significantly so you had remained at your place by the fire, amicably chatting with Sunshine and Bernie. You could see Grogu and the kids playing in the dirt by some of the cars.
Chants and Moira were off collecting the hanging laundry of the day and you already looked forward to wearing some freshly washed clothes.
How lucky you were that even years later you could all go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge that you would wake up in the morning. Somewhat safe, somewhat sheltered, and surrounded by people who had become family.
“Wisconsin would take us right by Minneapolis,” Paz said, drawing a line with his finger. You smirked when you noticed how Sunshine immediately zoned out of the conversation, all her attention on her alpha.
“We are definitely not heading to Washington,” Din protested, “Heard that corner is a powder keg waiting to explode.”
“North, then?” Briggs asked, “If the tracks we found are anything to go by we would need to get a few days’ distance between us and here.”
Hearing them talk about moving camp made you anxious. When would your heat strike? Would you be so unlucky to have it while you were on the move? You had been on suppressant for so long that you hardly remembered what it felt like to go into heat. Would you really survive several hours in a car with your mind occupied with being fucked seven ways to Sunday?
“You okay?”
You flinched, looking up at the alpha that had just joined you.
“Boba,” you chided the man who gave you the hint of a smile.
He sat down next to you, the fire illuminating his features and you allowed yourself to look at him a little longer than usual.
Boba Fett was … He was …
Boba Fett was the kind of man you had dreamt about before the outbreak. And, to be honest, after the outbreak. The way he held himself so full of confidence and competence had always attracted you and you found that with each day that passed, you had another little thing you loved liked about him.
One day, it had been the way the crow’s feet on his eyes showed when he laughed. It was a rare sight but that made it all the more special, seeing him joke around with Din or Paz or one of the kids.
Another day, it had been exactly that: the way he was with the kids. At first, you had expected him to be a grumpy loner but there was a kindness there when he taught them about the dangers of weapons and made sure to show them to properly handle one if they ever came across a rifle.
Then there had been his hands. Stars, his hands. Thick long fingers and palms weathered from work. You knew he hadn’t been a mechanic like Din but that he had helped him out and he still did now, fixing cars and engines right and left in that week when all of your vehicles had started making problems, threatening to get you stuck in Northern Arizona.
That was another thing: his competence. It made you weak in the knees and your panties wet to see him be so knowledgeable about so many things. Sure, it started when you had seen him, hands greasy and white tank top stained, fix one of the trucks like it was nothing. But it had continued when he had disassembled and cleaned his guns and put them back together again like it was no big deal. Or that one night where you had crossed a group and had spent dinner together and one of them had a guitar. You remembered it like it was yesterday, the surprise on (almost) everyone’s faces when Boba had asked for the guitar and played a few songs for the group.
Another day it had been his jaw and the stubble that grew when he went a few days without shaving. You wondered what it would feel like on your neck or between your thighs and you woke up more than one morning, vivid dream memories in your minds of how he had scented you with a stubble jaw like that.
Yes, Boba Fett was the alpha that made your voice stutter, your heart race and your pussy feel so very empty. Only that you were too shy to ever do anything about it. With Paz and his mate, it had been obvious to everyone (except for them) that they were meant for one another and it had taken barely any time for them to figure it out, too.
But you and Boba … You had been part of this group almost for the entirety after the outbreak. If anything were to happen, it would have happened by now. You were sure of it.
Realizing that you had stared at him for a little too long, you cleared your throat and looked at the glowing ambers of the fire.
“You okay, Princess?” he asked you quietly, “You’ve been quiet today.”
“Oh, you know,” you shrugged, trying to ignore how that made your cheeks feel suspiciously hot, “Just thinking.”
“You’re worried about the suppressants, aren’t you?”
You did not say anything which, apparently, was confirmation enough.
“We won’t let anything happen to you,” he stated, calm and confident and it was so easy to just believe him when he continued, “You’ll be the safest you can ever be, omega. It will be over before you know it and then we can see if we can some more suppressants up in Wisconsin.”
“Charlie’ll need them,” you said, your hands fidgeting, “I won’t get suppressants any time soon, Boba, we both know it.”
When you turned your head to look at him, you were met with brown eyes gazing at you so intimately, it made you want to crawl right into his arms. It made you want to curl up in his lap, tuck your face into the crook of his neck and just breathe him in until everything was right again in the world.
He opened his mouth, ready to say something and you saw his hand twitch like he was about to reach out to you.
“Now now, what are we whisperin’ about?” Moira laughed, sitting down on your other side. Sluice and Chants were with her and you watched as Sunshine walked over to Paz, being greeted with a grin and a soft kiss.
“Nothing of importance,” Boba replied, still looking only at you but straightening up. Only now did you notice how close he had been, how his knee had brushed against yours, and now with him standing up, how it left you cold and alone. “I think I’ll head over to Din … get the details of the route we’re taking.”
You wanted to ask him to stay with you a little longer but your shyness made the words dry on your tongue and you watched him leave.
“Hey there, princess,” Sluice grinned, sidling up to you. You knew she was just teasing you. It was the running joke in the group that Boba kept calling you princess like it meant something.
Of course, it didn’t.
(But stars knew you really wanted it to.)
*
It took four days for you to notice that something was wrong.
There even was a moment where you had had the slightest hope that maybe you wouldn’t get your heat. That you had taken the suppressant for so long that your body has just decided to skip them altogether and make your life that much easier.
But of course, it didn’t.
It started with you feeling more restless than usual. Whereas the kids’ shenanigans previously amused you, they now surprised you. Even more so when they would jump from behind trees but fake scare you only for it to end up really scaring you. They laughed at first at your surprised squeal and the little jump backwards you made, good-natured as kids were, but by the fourth time it happened, a stern Boba rushed over, his hand on your back, and telling them off on how it was mean to keep scaring you like that.
Then your temperature rose. Only at night at first. Despite the evening cooling down and Chants getting, you kicked off your blanket more and more, wishing you could just take off all your clothes and bathe in a cool stream. Then it happened when people touched you. Altarf brushed your hand once when giving you a few dishes and it felt like your skin was on fire, making you flinch. The same happened with Paz, the big man frowning with concern when you jumped away from him when his hand landed on your shoulder.
(It didn’t happen with Boba. Or at least it didn’t happen like that with Boba. Boba’s touch caused a warm fire in your belly that spread outwards until your entire skin was gently tingling with the need to be touched by him. Which was perfectly normal, you tried to tell yourself.)
You flinched away not only from but from everyone who had not approached you loud enough or anyone who touched you. No, your clothes started to feel scratchy, ill-fitting and just way too thick. Sluice started to tease you about how you were always fiddling with the collar of your shirt, trying to get the cool late summer air onto your body.
Not to mention the smells.
Stars, the smells.
You had never really bothered with how the others smelled. Sure, you had been faintly aware of how Paz’s scent had changed when Sunshine had first joined and how they both had become more prominent. Or how Charlie, now having his own presentation, had gotten his own scent. Or how musky and woodsy and comfortable Boba smelled. But that was nothing compared to the stench they now all emitted – except for Boba.
It was like you could no longer stand being around them. The only people you tolerated were the kids and Bernie. But the person you sought out the most was Boba because he smelled divine.
If he noticed it, he did not show it but the important part was that you noticed. And you knew you didn’t have long until things would get serious for you.
Only that you had not expected it to get serious so soon.
The night was dark and quiet when you had snuck out of the truck. You tried to tell yourself it was because you could not sleep but deep down you knew it was because you were way too hot and even Chants – Chants! – started to reek so bad you could no longer spend even a minute in that truck with him.
You knew it wasn’t his fault. If anyone’s, it was yours. But so, you snuck out, into the cool night air that made your skin feel normal again and that was free of any stench because everyone was fast asleep in their cars. If you focused enough you could even hear Altarf’s snoring.
Being outside helped, you found, but as quickly as your body cooled down from the heat wave, just as quickly did it reach a temperature that had you shivering. Debating if you wanted to risk getting back to the truck to get you something warmer or if you could –
Your thoughts were interrupted by pain so bad it made you double over.
A split second of confusion gave way to the realization that you were starting your heat.
The muscles in your abdomen cramped up again and you gasped, falling to all fours as you tried to gather the strength to press your palm against your belly. The touch helped minder the pain a little but it also made you aware of how you were yearning to be touched.
You wanted to feel hands on you – in your – and your pussy to be filled and someone to sink his teeth into your neck and mark you his.
Who were you kidding you didn’t want someone, you wanted Boba.
Tears of frustration and fear stung in your eyes and you tried to even your breathing.
This was okay. Everything was okay. It was not the first time you had your heat and it would not be the last time and hell, if you had gotten through it before, you would get through it again. Didn’t matter if it felt like your body was burning up from the inside and the only thought that made it better (and then much worse) was that of an unattainable alpha claiming you.
“Shit,” you cursed, furiously wiping at your cheeks, “Shit shit shit shit!”
Someone’s shoes appeared in your field of vision.
It was none other than Boba.
A breeze rustled the trees and his scent filled your nose, sending a wave of calm through your body. Closing your eyes was involuntary but you did not mind because your body felt so much lighter now. It was like a weight had been lifted off your chest and you could breathe.
He smelled even better than before, the scent of pine wood and something you could not yet pinpoint driving you crazy. You could feel your temperature rising a few degrees and suddenly it all came rushing back to you. The frustration, the fear, the panic, the desire.
“You okay?” Boba asked, sounding very concerned.
You could not help the way your bottom lip trembled as you allowed yourself to admit that –
“No,” you breathed out, “I’m terrified, alpha.”
He sank down to his knees in front of you. Your eyes immediately fell to his crotch and you were ashamed to admit that the first thought you had was to reach out and undo his zipper, to try and see what he
Thick arms wrapped around you and pulled you out of your thoughts and into his chest. His body exuded warmth that yours had been missing and you relaxed into him. His hands were on the back of your neck and your lower back and his touch caused pure warmth in you. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, just like you had dreamt of, and breathed in his scent.
In a movement so small, you barely registered it, his nose brushed over your neck and you gasped softly.
“I know,” he said, his lips moving against your skin, “I know, princess, I can smell how scared you are.”
“What if I fuck it up?” you gasped into him, trying to hold the tears at bay. Your hands grasped at the back of his flannel, the fabric not feeling as repulsive as your own clothes, “What if – what if Chant can’t sleep because of me and we get attacked and he cannot defend himself and – and what if it is all my fault?”
A sob wrecked your body and you huddled closer to him.
For the longest moment, Boba did not say anything, merely holding you to him as you tried to gather yourself. Having him so close, with his hands on your body and your nose pressed against his neck, made it that much easier to calm down. You felt safe with him.
“You will sleep in my truck,” he stated, then, “I can bunk with Chants.”
“But – but –“
“Omega,” he interrupted you warmly and your mouth snapped shut, your brain short-circuiting at him calling you that, “You will have your heat, there is no question about it. You need rest and a safe place to nest and soft things. My truck has that and all the privacy you could desire.”
“Okay,” you nodded, swallowing back the tears that threatened to form in your eyes (again), “Thank you, alpha.”
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remembered that calling someone by their presentation was something intimate, something special. But it felt right, calling Boba that. Because if anyone was your alpha, it would be him. You could not imagine anyone else having the effect on you that he did. And you did not want anyone, except for him, to have that power.
His nose brushed over your scent gland again, this time right behind your ear, properly scenting you.
“Oh,” you whimpered, feeling a trickle of arousal gather in your panties. You clenched your thighs, he
Boba growled, his chest rumbling against yours, “Fuck, I’m sorry, omega, I shouldn’t have –“
He pulled away, ever so slightly, his hand cupping the side of your neck and the trickle became a wave when his rough fingertips brushed over the sensitive spot.
“No!” you protested quickly, a little too loudly, maybe, but you did not care if it meant you could have him scent you again, “Please … I – one more?”
The alpha in front of you froze and your eyes fluttered closed when his fingertips continued to caress your neck.
“You want me to scent you?” he asked and you were too far gone to notice if he sounded surprised. But what you did notice was how his thumb rubbed gentle circles onto your neck, how his eyes seemed a little darker in the light of the moon and how his scent seemed to get just a little bit stronger.
Shyly, you nodded, deciding to throw all caution into the wind. “Yes please, alpha.”
There was that rumble in his chest again, the one that made your pussy pulse and your thighs clench. But you could not even pretend not to be affected by his ministrations. Not when his nose, making your body break out in the best kind of shivers.
“That okay?” he asked against your neck and the fact that his lips were touching your skin now, the hint of his tongue peeking out again the patch of skin, made you almost feel blind with lust. “That feel good, princess?”
“Uh huh,” you brought out, tilting your head back so he had better access.
“Sweet little omega,” his lips grazed your ear before he moved his mouth back to where you needed it most, “Good little omega.”
His hand moved back to the back of your head, holding you against him and keeping you this and that way so he had the best angle to lavish your neck with attention. You allowed him to manoeuvre you as he needed, knowing instinctually that you would be rewarded in the best way.
And oh stars were you right about that.
“Smell so fucking good,” he grunted, his hips snapping against yours, “Bet you taste even better”.”
You did not know what made you come. His filthy words, the idea of his mouth, the feeling of his teeth on your skin, threatening to mark you or the outline of his hard cock against your flimsy sleep shorts, pressing right into your clit.
Maybe it was a combination of all of those things that had you stifling your moan against his neck and your vision going white. That had your pussy pulsing and clenching around nothing and your folds getting even wetter with your release.
You knew the first orgasm of a heat was the hardest to achieve. Which made it all the more surprising that it had been so easy with Boba. You were so stunned that you did not even have it in you to feel the slightest bit of shame at how needy you were. How you had just come undone in front of him like it was always meant to be.
“Good girl,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss behind your ear before gently untangling himself from you, “Feel better now?”
You nodded quietly, still reeling from what had happened but also feeling drunk on his pheromones.
“C’mon,” he murmured, his hands helping you stand up onto shaking legs, “Let’s get you into bed, sweet thing, wouldn’t want to keep you from your nest for too long.”
You could only hope that he would join you.
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On New Year’s Eve, during a house party at her home in Richmond, Virginia, Lucy Dacus had her fortune told. She thought why not. On a personal level, 2017 had been a wretched year – a steady conveyor belt delivering the 22-year-old bad news.
“This girl, who I didn’t even know, came to the party and gave me this year-long reading,” she explains. “Month-by-month it was so specific. So far, it’s kind of lined up.”
In the past Dacus has been sceptical about the prophetic powers of the tarot card deck, and was taught that the pentacles (coins) were a symbol of Satan. “It’s hard to look to the future and see nothing, to know nothing,” she muses. “I still don’t know what’s going to happen, but having something to have your mind bounce off is nice. That’s why I like tarot. It gives you something to reflect on.”
It’s all part of a fresh way of thinking for Dacus, a new “mood of just trying to be open to new things.” For so many reasons the past year has been one Lucy Dacus is keen to put behind her. “I guess I could just list things,” she says laughing, but not joking. To begin, some of her close family suffered health problems, compounded by her own serious issues including a bout of appendicitis that forced her to have surgery. She was attempting to buy a house for the first time, a process that proved “trying”. Three of her tours got cancelled.
“It was a little bit miserable,” says Dacus, sitting in an east London cafe. “Towards the end of the year, I just had to laugh… Like, come on!”
Interwoven with these practical challenges she was having to navigate something much more troubling. “I got out of a relationship in 2016, which I was waking up from in 2017 – realising that it was abusive,” she begins. “Letting myself say that, it took many months to come out of the numbness… to stop being brainwashed. So, that’s all been a growth. It’s ended up being positive, but it is difficult wondering how I let that be a part of my life for so long.”
Deepening the ordeal, still, this year of personal upheaval was set to the backdrop of Trump’s first 12 months in office. A vociferous supporter of Bernie Sanders through the 2016 election campaign, Dacus is a passionate advocate for equal rights, attending marches and collecting donations for community organisations at her shows. To have Trump sat in the White House representing her country, she says, felt – feels – “horrible”. “It’s just absurd and I feel like I’m in an alternate universe,” she says. “It’s really hard maintaining hope.
“Coming to Europe I’m embarrassed to be an American sometimes, but then I just have to hope that people know that I am not part of Trump. I’ve thought about wearing shirts at the airport – just like ‘not my president’. In little ways I just want to assert that opinion.”
And then there were the disturbing revelations surrounding Harvey Weinstein (and subsequently many other men) revealed in Autumn 2017, that opened out into a global conversation around the abuse and harassment of women.
“It’s been nice coming out of that really terrible relationship during a time when women are speaking up more. It feels like I’m allowed to say these things now,” says Dacus, crediting the #MeToo movement. “All these horrible, heartbreaking stories of women being mistreated are at the forefront but the solace that people are doing what they need in order to find closure and help each other prevent that happening ever again. For one of the first times I’ve been noticing male friends of mine actually examining their past behaviours.”
While there are some early shoots of positivity, the truth is, the culmination of all of these factors left the songwriter dealing with anxiety for the first time. “2017 was a new state of mind for me – and not really in the best way.”
Lucy Dacus was raised in Richmond, Virginia, about two hours south of Washington D.C. on the east coast. It’s a place sometimes described as “the biggest small town left in America.” The family home was in the rural suburbs and she travelled into the city to go to high school. “It’s hard to tell you in one answer how my whole childhood was,” she says. “It’s a large variety of things. Overall, I’m coming out with my thumbs up.”
In her household music was always there. Her mother is a piano teacher, as was her grandmother. Picking up songwriting was never a big deal, like a second language that was spoken around the house. “That’s how music is – like, it’s just part of my life,” she recalls.
Yet the dream of being a professional artist seemed almost so unattainable that it was invisible. In her late teens, Dacus went to college to study film but dropped out, primarily because she’d end up saddled with huge debt. “That, paired with the feeling of being misunderstood in my programme,” she confirms. “I just didn’t have a lot of like minds in my classes.”
That prompted a move back to Virginia where she took a job in a photography lab developing kids’ cheesy school photos. She’d been writing songs in her spare time and gathered nine of the 30-or-so she had together when her friend Jacob Blizard (now her touring guitarist) asked her to record them for his school project. Her 2016 debut album, ‘No Burden’, was made in one day in Nashville. Blizard passed school, and that album received rave reviews. NPR called it “vulnerable”, while Pitchfork said it was an “uncommonly warm indie rock record”. As a result, 20 different record labels reportedly scrabbled to sign Dacus. She settled on Matador, and began to prepare for what should have been a joyful 2017.
The first time Dacus remembers assuming the role of historian she was seven or eight-years-old. She was writing in her journal – and she smiles now recalling her first entry. It complained about how the babysitter spent the whole evening on the phone to her boyfriend. “There’s a point where I realise I’m journaling and so I stop and go, ‘I should probably introduce myself… I’m Lucy’” she laughs, remembering it clearly. “It’s really cute.”
More than a dozen notebooks, and many years later, she still keeps a diary now. Sometimes she writes every day, other times, weeks go by and then she fills 20 pages. Occasionally she flicks open an old one to either “laugh or cringe” at her younger self.
‘Historian’, then, isn’t just the title of her latest album, but also the way she thinks of herself. A chronicler, of her own experiences, but also those around her. Those pages aren’t just a document of a growing maturity, but also a therapeutic habit that helps make sense of many life events, including that recent damaging relationship. “Seeing that it had been broken for the whole time but that I was just oblivious to it, [reading about] it helps to accept that things didn’t change,” she says. “I just saw it for what it was finally, and so perspective is good.”
Those handwritten journals are sacred, which is why, when her tenth one was stolen on tour a few years ago along with a bag of possessions, it was the notebook she replaced first.
The album itself is a recent history – a narrative burrowing through those myriad dark times. Dacus knew that she wanted it to form a complete story, and wrote the track list before some of the songs. “It’s an arc” she says, that begins in a “relatable place” with the only break-up song she’s ever written (‘Night Shift’) that subsequently delves “deeper into darkness.”
“Then the subject matter gets a little more intense,” she tells me, “– going through identity crises, or loss of home, or loss of faith, loss of a loved one, loss of your life. I feel like I’m pulling people into an uncomfortable space.” She pauses. “There’s then a change where hopefully I’m turning on a light and saying, ‘Yes, all of that exists, but it’s a foil to joy.’”
It is an extraordinary piece of work. Musically it’s a colossal step up, reminiscent of recent albums by Mitski (‘Puberty 2’), Angel Olsen (‘My Woman’) and labelmate Julien Baker (‘Turn out the Lights’). The subject matter is heavy, but it’s never a dreary listen. In fact, it’s charming, funny even – like a brave smile emerging through a curtain of tears. And Dacus has a gift for lyric writing; like the eloquent way she pays tribute to the humility shown by her dying grandmother on ‘Pillar of Truth’. From first to final note it’s evocative and powerful. “The first time I tasted somebody else’s spit I had a coughing fit,” goes the LP’s opening line in ‘Night Shift’. “If past you were to meet future me,” she sings on the final line of the closing title track, “would you be holding me now?”
It’s heartening to hear that the contents of Dacus’ NYE tarot reading were largely positive. The forecast noted that she should enjoy the proceeds of her hard work, but that “something horrible happens in the summer, then there’s kind of a rebirth, growing back into, like, life in an even more knowledgeable and peace-oriented way.” Dacus is about to leave, and picks up a bag of books she’s been keeping underneath the cafe table.
“It could be wrong,” she says. “I’m not superstitious. I’m taking it in. When that does happen I hope I can take my own advice – let it be what it is, and look past it eventually
(x) 3/14/18
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Better than I thought
Warren Rojas x Fem!Reader
✧.* requested by anon — can i request an imagine for warren rojas where reader is a famous pop/whatever gender-singer and u meet him at a party were u are asked to perform and he is just mesmerized by your beauty and ur talent. and so he tries to flirt w u afterwards, and that’s all i have but u can modify/finish it as u wish <3 thank u in advance !
✧.* summary — To celebrate your best friend's special day you and Daisy had taken the stage to sing along with her. And since the lights focused on you, the drummer's attention has had no other owner, he was enchanted.
✧.* warnings — Mention of drugs, Reader and Warren a little more intimate (but no smut, sorry guys).
✧.* word count — 2.6k
✧.* 🥁 — Warren's masterlist
✧.* mandy's notes — I'm crazy about this man, I didn't have time to correct this one so maybe some mistakes. Hope you like it babys 🫶🏾
Finally the day had arrived, Simone Jackson was releasing her album you couldn't be more proud of her. You were friends for a long time, you grew up together and you always knew her great potential, so together with Daisy you were the biggest supporter of her choice to move, she was happy, in love and fulfilling her big dream.
You were also involved in the music business, and you had already released some songs that exploded across the country, but you still had a few months to go before you went on tour, so you were trying to make the most of your free time while you had it.
And today at the disco where Simone and Bernie worked there was going to be a party to celebrate Simone's big day, a private event for friends where everything could flow without cameras, media, and squinty eyes.
Warren was excited, he had wanted to go to a party for days but the rush of shows didn't help and now that he finally was going out he was thrilled. The invitation made by Daisy's friend had come as a surprise to him, after all they weren't as close as she was, but he loved Simone's music and was happy to go and honor her.
The place was illuminated with colored lights, several pamphlets with Simone's photo and the contact to buy the album in it were delivered at the door of the event, you watched the place with pride in your chest, you search with your eyes for your friend, and you find her with her girlfriend not far from you.
"Simone baby, I'm so proud of you!" You say hugging her tightly, she hugs you tenderly. "Hey Bernie my love, how are you?" You break the hug with Jackson and go hug the other woman.
"I'm fine Y/N, it's good to see you." She says, wrapping one of her arms around Simone who smiles at the contact.
"I have no words, the place is wonderful." You say pointing around you.
"My girls!" You can hear Daisy's voice behind you, she approaches hugging you and kissing your cheek, you return the affection.
"Are my eyes deceiving me, Daisy Jones herself?" You joke, making her laugh by hugging you tight. "I missed you."
"Missed you too." Daisy says getting out of the embrace. "It's been so long, please tell me that I'll have the chance to hear you tonight."
"Oh no Daisy, today it's Simone's day." You speak with conviction, seeing Simone roll her eyes playfully. "Not to mention, there are a lot of people here."
"Well, you better get used to it because from what I hear your show is selling out." Simone says smiling at you, it was such a good time for y'all that if you went back in time and told the group that, you wouldn't believe it.
"We're on our best days!" Daisy says, looking happier than ever.
After a few minutes Simone went on stage, she was perfect, that place was for her, she deserved it more than anyone and you were overjoyed to see her happy. You and Daisy admired her near the stage, Bernie was in the corner of it starting to test the soundboard, soon the music started to play and your eardrums were invaded by the angelic voice of Simone Jackson.
She sings the first song with a twinkle in her eyes, and when she finishes it, you can see her eyes water with joy.
"I wanted to say that this moment is a victory." She speaks with a broken voice, wanting to cry. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for some people who believed in me, in my story, in my voice, in my music… First I want to thank Bernie, my love, my partner." She turns to her girlfriend, blowing her a kiss, Bernie pretends to catch it in the air, getting her hand close to her heart.
Simone turns towards you with a smile on her face.
"Y/N, I don't have the words to thank you." She kept her eyes on you tenderly. "It was always the three of us forever, at first you and me until Daisy came along and I'm sure if it wasn't for you I would fall apart, and that's why I invite you two to sing the next song with me."
Daisy breaks into a huge smile, walking up the stairs to the stage with her arms outstretched towards Simone, you felt a little embarrassed singing without having prepared for it, but for your friends you would do anything. So you took the stage.
The nervousness leaves your body when the melody starts to play, the three of you had already done this thousands of times, it was many afternoons training and singing together that your synchrony was something as natural as daylight.
However, for Warren Rojas you were the only star of that performance, it was as if the world was frozen and he only heard your voice, he was amazed with every detail in you. His eyes sparkled with the way you sang, he was admired by how your hair looked even prettier under the lighting in the room, how your smile made him feel like he was flying, He was confused about the way you attracted him, about how he felt this magnetism pulling him to you.
"I think that's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life…" Warren says to the bassist next to him, Eddie laughs.
"You think so?" Eddie says eating some of what he had on hand. "Not really my type, but she's gorgeous."
"Gorgeous?" Warren says almost in disbelief. "She's wonderful! I need to talk to her…"
The song was over and the applause took place, Warren and Eddie applauded along with everyone else, the drummer was talking to his best friend without taking his eyes off you for a moment.
"Alright, I have an idea!" Eddie says with a smile on his face, Warren looks at him suspiciously.
"What do you mean?" Warren asks, but his friend is already starting to walk away from him. "Hey Eddie!"
The drummer takes his hand to his face, fixing his mustache, struggling to see where his friend was going.
Eddie leaves among the people, looking for the redhead and leaving the drummer alone watching you from afar. Roundtree loved playing the cupid, so when he saw his best friend amazed by the mystery singer he needed to do something.
When he finally found Daisy you weren't with her, in fact she was talking to a group of people he had no idea who it was. He approached pulling the singer by the arm without her having time to understand what was happening.
"What happened Eddie?" She asks, smiling.
"That friend of yours..." He says, making her laugh.
"Y/N?" She asks, already knowing the answer. "I didn't think it would be you who would be interested in her."
"It's not me." The bassist says, turning to point at the drummer but not finding him amongst the crowd. "Warren is crazy about her, I swear to you Daisy if you don't introduce her to him, the poor guy will go crazy."
Daisy looked surprised, she starts laughing leaving Roundtree without understanding anything.
"Are you high?" He says, snapping his fingers in front of her face.
She probably was, but that wasn't what she was laughing about, she was laughing at the coincidence that was happening right now. When Daisy joined the six, the three friends celebrated in the apartment that Simone and Daisy shared.
"So this one right here is Graham." Daisy held the SevenEighNine album in her hands, showing the band members to her friends.
"Billy's brother?" Simone asks and Daisy nods. "Are you with us Y/N?"
Your eyes were fixed on the drummer, you just loved how his curly hair looked, honestly you loved every detail of him in that picture.
"What?" You say when you hear your name in the conversation.
"You're quiet, what happened?" Daisy says, leaning her head on your shoulder.
"Nothing, it's just... What's this guy's name?" You point at Warren and Simone starts laughing.
"She has a thing for the drummer!" Simone says, taking a sip of her wine.
"No, hey!" You say a little embarrassed, rolling your eyes. "I just think he is cute, that's all." You say shrugging.
"His name is Warren." Daisy answers you. "But don't worry, soon you'll call him boyfriend."
"Stop!" You say laughing along with them. "I'm keeping the album."
When Daisy stopped laughing at the situation she remembered, Eddie had his arms crossed waiting for her to answer him..
"No Ed, I'm not high." She answers. "But I don't think we're going to have to do much."
"Why's that?" The bassist asks.
"Sometimes just a little push is enough." She winks at Eddie, then they start to decide what they were going to do.
You were at the disco bar, casually watching everyone around you hoping to see someone interesting. Your eyes meet Warren's across the crowd, he seems to be trying to hide that he's been looking at you for a while, you smile at him and wave, he waves back with a wink.
He takes a deep breath and walks closer to you, trying to pass between the dancing people. When you notice him approaching, nervousness takes over your body, he looked even more beautiful in person.
The drummer wore just a vest, as usual, he wore dark blue jeans and a choker on, now as he approached you could see several rings on his fingers too. You take a deep breath, averting your gaze elsewhere trying to pretend his presence doesn't make you nervous.
"Hi…" He says with a smile on his face, when he was finally next to you.
"Hey." You say turning to him, smiling with the straw in your mouth. Warren looked at you in disbelief, you were even prettier up close. "Can I help you with something?"
"Ah- I'm Warren." He looked nervous, reaching out to you, you shook his hand still smiling. "I'm Daisy's friend…"
"Oh of course!" You pretend to recognize him only now. "The drummer, isn't it?"
"That's me!" He takes your hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it gently. "It's a pleasure, miss…"
"L/N, Y/N L/N." You say your name to him, smiling at his simple act.
Warren sighs, with each word that comes out of your mouth a shiver rises in his stomach, he was sure he had never seen such a beautiful woman.
"Hey, are you there?" You say snapping your fingers in front of the drummer's face.
"Sorry, I got distracted by your beauty." He laughs, a little embarrassed, taking his hand to his curly hair, adjusting the curls.
"I don't blame you." You say moving closer to him. "I can't stop admiring you either."
Warren felt his legs go weak, he really wasn't expecting that. You looked at him with a small smile on your face and he felt that at any moment he could explode.
"You look handsome." You say close to his ear, the noise around made you believe he didn't hear you well at first.
Warren smiles at the compliment, you don't move away from him, your faces were still close which made the drummer nervous. His eyes don't leave your lips, he wanted so much to feel you close.
"You were amazing on stage, don't tell Daisy but I've never seen anyone as badass as you." He says making you laugh shaking your head.
"Thank you very much." You smile and he feels that every time he sees your smile he falls more. "Then you must know that you're my favorite drummer as well."
"Come on pretty girl, don't have to lie to me." He chuckles, licking his lips afterwards.
"I am not." You reassure him. "You are what makes 'kill you to try' so amazing, the drums in this song are perfect."
Holy shit, he was going to marry you.
"It's nice to know someone is listening." He speaks without taking his eyes off yours.
You stayed a few seconds facing each other, without saying anything, it seemed that the world had stopped while that tension grew between you. You approach him, putting your arms around his neck he automatically takes his to your waist gently.
"Get me out of here." You whisper, then kisses his jaw before looking back into his eyes, smiling innocently.
"Yes, mama" He responds, grabbing your hand and leading you to a secluded spot.
Eddie had his neck almost locked from straining to find his friend, no matter how hard he looked, there was no sign of the drummer.
"I can't find him anywhere!" Eddie says to the redhead next to him, frustrated.
"I can't find Y/N either" She says with a suspicious tone.
"I can't believe he disappeared now." Eddie was in disbelief, leaning against the wall.
"Guess we'll have to save it for later." Daisy says with a shrug.
…
Rojas pressed you against the wall, squeezing your waist while kissing your neck, you sighed with the contact while lightly pulling his curly strands. He stops kissing your neck and turns his attention to your lips, kissing you passionately as if he doesn't want to miss a moment with you.
The place was lit by few lights, but with effort you could see his pupils dilated, exuding the desire he felt. You felt shivers down your spine just watching him look at you like that.
"Is there something wrong?" He asks, cupping your face gently.
"Not at all." You reply, kissing him gently again. "You know, kissing you is so much better than I thought."
"Oh so you thought about it?" He spoke in a husky voice that made your legs shake with every word he said.
"Maybe…" You shrug. "Kiss me again so I can be sure"
He laughs with his tongue between his teeth, biting his lips before kissing yours. You felt like he was going to drive you crazy with every contact, his scent was the best you've ever smelled, his hands on your body made you feel chills and his kiss made you more and more addicted.
Warren felt like he was in paradise, being able to kiss you, feeling you was like satisfying an addiction, an urgent need. With your permission, he felt every corner of your body, wanting to decorate it like a map that would guide him to paradise. He knew this wasn't going to be a one night thing, he couldn't settle for the thought that the two of you were going to become a one time thing.
He needed more of you, he wanted to know you more, know your tastes, know what you liked, what bothered you. He wanted to understand your quirks, the reason for your smiles, he wanted to wake up listening to you sing next to him, fucking hell! He wanted you.
"Now there's something I need to know." He says between pecks on your lips.
"What?" You ask, smiling at him.
"I need to know If calling you mine will be better than I thought."
You felt a chill in your stomach, that man would be the death of you. You kiss him again.
"Well, you're going to have to take me out to discover Rojas."
Eddie Roundtree: I stood there waiting for him to show up for what felt like an hour, until I gave up and got busy with other things.
Daisy Jones: I told him we wouldn't have to do much *laughing* And when I saw Y/N appear with a goofy smile on her face I was sure of it.
...
Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo
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for the chronically offline people who are trying to follow the charli convo, what is redscare and how does that tie in?
hard to succinctly describe, but i will do my best! the red scare is a, idk, post-woke podcast run by two women, dasha nekrasova and anna khachiyan. the podcast was part of the ~dirtbag left.~ dasha was engaged(?) to adam friedland, who you know as the guy who hosted matty when he made the racist joke heard around the swiftieworld. there is a close association between the dirtbag left and the right (because both tend to be anti-establishment, populist, anti-political correctness/anti-woke, anti-neoliberalism, iconoclasts i guess you could say) and over time, the red scare hosts have gone from, idk, bernie bros to alex jones alt-right supporters.
personally, i don't think this is a huge leap (for the reasons i mentioned above), especially because i don't think the hosts were as "leftist" as they claimed from the start. but dasha in particular has been really nasty, praising alex jones, making shitty comments, and she and charli are friends. she is the subject of the song "mean girls" on brat.
the red scare hosts are also associated with dimes square in nyc, which is a symbol of a us counterculture movement (again, post-wokeism and criticizing neoliberalism) and also specific trends, aesthetics, irony, whatever. subversive americana, maybe.
anyway, charli's whole schtick is to be contrarian, she's been friends with dasha for a while; matty is also friends with them. my take is that charli is probably a contrarian for attention and politically an asshole.
there is a lot more to say/learn about this but because i am not a red scare listener, or a charli fan, this is really all i can report!
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A note from Lorde
(27/03/2024) ("Take Me to the River" cover release)
Hey you, it's me
Today my version of "take Me To The River" from the Stop Making Sense compilation comes out. Do you remember the first time you ever heard Talking Heads? I'll tell you my story.
Ok, it's 2008. I'm twelve years old, eyes painted black, jaw blasted with acne. My bedroom is a nest of posters, broken toys, street signs. I've kissed with tongue.
Something's happening to me: i am beginning to ooze out in every direction. I feel a constant burning urge to express myself, to draw a map that leads to who l am. I can't get it right; there's deep discomfort in this, and I have no choice but to keep trying.
At the same time, I'm realising that if I look at a picture or listen to a song sometimes a surge of feeling will take over my whole body. In this way, I can remove my strange-feeling insides and replace them with whatever I want. I can't predict what exactly will do this to me, so I have to try everything. Things are either corny, or they're cool. Occasionally, the thing that replaces my insides is a total mystery to me, not corny or cool but somehow both, and through this feeling I have my first experiences with the divine.
My mother, an artist herself, sees the ooze. She brings her laptop into my room one night and puts on a Youtube video. It's grainy, 240p at best. In the video I see a band from another time performing on a TV show. The lead singer wears a suit, has high cheekbones and slicked-back dark hair. To his left a blonde girl plays bass. They stand in pools of light. The dark haired man is singing a song about wanting someone, not being sure why. He is a preacher, a controlled fire, a wild animal. He's moving like ive never seen anyone move, and his eyes are rolling back in his head. He knows how it feels to kiss with tongue. The wifi signal drops in and out from downstairs.
I feel a portal open between me and the screen. Humour, lust, rhythm and ritual course through me. I don't understand what I'm feeling, but I do understand that the band in the grainy video live with the same strangeness that I do. My palms tingle. My insides are replaced.
This version of the first Talking Heads song I ever heard was done in a few days in Echo Park, L.A. with my friend Jimmy. It's my interpretation of that pixellated spiritual experience. We did it fast, I didn't let myself tidy it up too much, it had to feel young and imperfect, the peeling posters, the jaw of acne. It's beyond a great honour to be part of this compilation. In doing so, I am reaching back through time and pinning something to that kid's wall.
Hope you like it
PS* Immediately after that Top of the Pops clip finished, I had my first of many, many viewings of Stop Making Sense. I am truly changed as I know you were too by that group of people on the Pantages stage moving together with warmth, strangeness and pure cool. It was so great to go to the theatre and feel that again on a big screen. Love to DB, Tina, Jerry and Chris, and to Lynn, Edna, Alex, Steve, and Bernie Worrell.
(source: A24 newsletter)
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Recentish movies of note, or not:
BOTTOMS: Ridiculous "teen" comedy about two gay high school losers, PJ (Rachel Sennott, who also co-wrote with director Emma Seligman) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri), who seize on a rumor about their having been in juvenile detention to start an after-school "self-defense club," in the hope that introducing the school's hottest cheerleaders to the cathartic thrill of girls beating the shit out of each other will finally give these hopeless (and ho-less) virgins a chance to score. So silly that complaining about the stupidity of the plot seems a tad churlish, but the story misses some obvious comedic opportunities, and despite the premise, the film eventually becomes far more interested in cartoonish violence than sex. If you dig the overall vibe, you might not care, but as a gay teen sex comedy, it's ultimately less successful (and less outrageous) than BOOKSMART, even though only one of the latter film's teen loser heroines is gay.
DO REVENGE: Black comedy homage to the teen comedies of the '90s and early '00s, inspired in part by the 1951 movie version of STRANGERS ON A TRAIN, about a disgraced prep school popular girl, Drea (Camila Mendes), who joins forces with gay weirdo Eleanor (Maya Hawke) to avenge herself on her former friends and find out who leaked her sex tape — a plan that involves giving Eleanor a makeover so she can infiltrate the popular kids. Hawke is a delight, Mendes is very good, and the homoerotic tension of their odd relationship makes the movie fun for a while, especially if you appreciate the many self-conscious homages to prior teen movies. However, a major reveal late in the second act makes hash of the already sloppy plot, and the finale is both nonsensical and as antisemitic as STRANGERS ON A TRAIN author Patricia Highsmith, which leaves a sour aftertaste.
IT'S A WONDERFUL KNIFE: Bizarre slasher movie pastiche of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, about a teenage girl named Winnie Carruthers (Jane Widdop of YELLOWJACKETS), who kills the masked serial killer who's been terrorizing the small town of Angel Falls and murdered her best friend (Hana Huggins) at Christmastime. A year later, everyone in town seems to have gotten over it except Winnie, who's miserable. On Christmas Eve, she's magically transported into an alternate timeline where she was never born and the masked slasher has continued murdering people, including Winnie's brother (Aiden Howard). To set things right, Winnie has to stop the villain all over again with the help of Bernie Simon (Jess McLeod), the town outcast and the only one who believes her story. Not scary, gruesome, or suspenseful enough to be much of a horror movie, but there are enough grisly murders to make the comedic holiday fantasy aspects seem a trifle sociopathic, and a late reveal that the killer has supernatural powers beyond just stabbing or slashing people feels like one ingredient too many in an already convoluted plot. The main redeeming feature is that it's ultimately a gay love story, which I wasn't expecting, but appreciated nonetheless.
THE KILL ROOM: Uma Thurman, Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Manganiello, and Maya Hawke go slumming in this dumb black comedy about a handsome hitman named Reggie (Manganiello) who becomes the sensation of the art world after his mob intermediary (Jackson) concocts a scheme to launder Reggie's payments by selling his abstract paintings (under the nom de plume "the Bagman") through a burned-out, Adderall-snorting art dealer (Thurman). Intended satire of the cutthroat vacuity of the art world lacks bite and no part of the plot makes any sense, but sheer star power gets the movie through about half its 80-minute running time before the banality becomes terminal.
POLITE SOCIETY: Silly British action-comedy by Nida Manzoor (creator of WE ARE LADY PARTS) about Ria Khan (Priya Kansara, delightful), a Pakistani teenager who aspires to be a stuntwoman, and her quest to save her flaky art student older sister Lena (Ritu Arya, radiant) from marrying a handsome doctor (Ashay Khanna) who seems a little too good to be true. It looks great, and the characters are very charming, but the story waits much too long to clarify the stakes of the plot: Until the finale, we don't know if Lena is actually in any danger or if Ria is just letting her imagination run away with her, and that uncertainty becomes an unwelcome distraction in the later action sequences. As a result, it feels more like an update of the John Hughes perennial SIXTEEN CANDLES than the over-the-top action movie it obviously aspires to be.
SHIVA BABY: Low-key but vivid comedy of manners, written and directed by Emma Seligman, starring Rachel Sennott as Danielle, a bisexual 20something Jewish girl who secretly pays her bills as a sugar baby. When she goes with her parents (Fred Melamed and Polly Draper) to a shiva, she finds herself trapped with not only her most annoying relatives, but also her disgruntled ex-girlfriend (Molly Gordon), her current sugar daddy (Danny Deferrari), his gorgeous blond wife (Dianna Agron), and their new baby. Seligman milks every awkward nuance of this uncomfortable social situation for maximum dramatic effect, and the tension of the final scene (which is nothing more complicated than the characters trying to squeeze into the back of Danielle's father's minivan) will drive you right up the wall.
VOLEUSES (WINGWOMEN): Is it really possible for a 40-year-old Frenchwoman living in the 21st century to not know that lesbians exist? One wouldn't think so, but watching this jokey buddy-action movie suggests that director/co-writer/star Mélanie Laurent desperately needs some kind of educational intervention in that regard. This is for all intents and purposes a lesbian romance: Master thieves Carole (Laurent) and Alex (Adèle Exarchopoulos) live together, routinely sleep in the same bed, and plan to retire together; they constantly express their love and affection for one another, and when Carole discovers that she's pregnant (the hows of which are never explained), Alex immediately assumes that they'll be moms together. Nonetheless, the story not only attempts to no-homo this cozy domestic scenario, but also presumes that there's no way Carole and Alex's relationship could ever be the de facto marriage it obviously already is — indeed, a crucial story moment involves Carole tearfully wishing she were a man so she could love Alex the way she deserves! If the movie had been made 50+ years ago, this might be poignant, but in 2023, it's just weird, and the resulting cognitive dissonance largely overshadows the thin plot, which concerns Carole and Alex trying to persuade their bitchy, cheerfully murderous employer Marraine (Isabelle Adjani, barely recognizable beneath her big hair and oversized sunglasses) to let them retire, while training a younger woman named Sam (Manon Bresch) to become their driver and the ambiguously defined third in their domestic ménage à trois.
#movies#bottoms movie#do revenge#shiva baby#it's a wonderful knife#it's a wonderful life#wingwomen#voleuses#polite society#the kill room#emma seligman#rachel sennott#ayo edebiri#mélanie laurent#nida manzoor#maya hawke#camila mendes#uma thurman#joe manganiello#samuel l jackson#adèle exarchopoulos#priya kansara#ritu arya#jane widdop#isabelle adjani#manon bresch#hateration holleration
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