#Benefits Of Hand Sanitizer

[writersdrug]

more barman! simon!!!! (ofc you can ignore if it’s too many suggestions lol)

can we see simon flirting with reader a little? especially after he sees she actually got jealous of tabasco!blondie

I feel like he would TOTALLY be a tease flirt.

He likes to get under your skin - not to aggravate you, but he just can't resist making you pout and blush and snap at him. He loves how you're all "tough business" with customers, but with him - your boss - that tough skin turns soft, warm, and easily flushed.

He'll tell you your shirt is inside-out while you're waiting for drinks, laughing when you crane your neck around to look for the tag with a confused expression. Smirks as you whine and complain about him pestering you, grabbing the drinks when he sets them down and storming off to your table.

He doesn't realize it, but he'll find excuses to keep you longer after work (and notices how you're not opposed to spending more time with him outside of your shift). He'll never admit it, but he loves to have you nearby, even if it's because he's assigning you more tasks off the clock. Something like "Price said tomorrow's crowd is gonna be a tough one. Might need ya to stick 'round n' help roll silverware." And you'd happily help, grabbing a sanitized bucket of utensils and a stack of napkins and planting yourself at the bar, chatting his ear off as he carries his shift out.

Pulls the ol' reliable "you're defensive" flirtation move. And you fall for it every time. How can you get out of this one? If you say you're not defensive, then you're being defensive. If you agree with him, then... well, you agree with him. You both yap back and forth like this until you're pulling your hair out, stomping away and telling Simon to kiss your ass (tell him again, and he'd happily do it).

But, what Simon dishes out, he can NOT take.

You'll tell him that his shoelace is untied, twirling a straw in your fingers. The moment he looks down, you shoot the straw wrapper at his head like a blow dart, scampering off and giggling before he can grab you by the strings of your apron. You casually mention that his pub would benefit from a stripper pole on the bar - whether it's for him or for you, he can't decipher, but now he's coughing to hide his groan and desperately trying to think of something other than you on his bartop. You sometimes call him by his title: "Bartender, can I have two whiskey sours?" "Bartender, customer at table four says there's hardly any vodka in their mule." "Bartender, I need you to reach me more napkins on the shelf upstairs. They're too high."

He'll glare at you, staring down over his folded arms, you staring right back with your hands on your hips. (He secretly loves it) He sighs and marches off to get whatever you need, and you smile triumphantly and plant yourself at the bar, waiting for him to return.

He knocks his knuckles against the side of your head when he returns, making you yelp. "Hey! What the fu-"

"'M gettin' you a stepstool, half-pint."

[tasteracha]

kinktober - day sixteen

kink: sex toys with jilix

warnings: smut - MINORS DNI. sex toys, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, afab!reader. mention of hentai (typical jlix things). 3k.

it’s something that felix and jisung bring up all the time. throughout your entire time as roommates slash best friends with benefits they’ve talked about it, but they’ve never followed through with it. 

they want to ruin you. stretch you so far that you’re left with your pussy gaping, fill you up so far that it feels like your breath is taken away. the thought of it sends you into a dizzy spell if you think about it too long, but it’s always just that. a thought. you’re not sure why, since every other kink that’s been brought up has been tried and added to the ranked bulletin board in your room.

handcuffs? yes, enthusiastically. 

petplay? no, much to jisung’s poorly concealed disappointment.

stuffed full of sex toys? TBD.

but no matter how many times any of you had brought it up, whether it be giggling into a glass of wine or holding hands in the dark under your covers, they never made any moves to make it become reality. 

so, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

it’s almost too easy to sneak an excessively large order of sex toys onto jisung’s credit card, the one he had given to you with a wink and a whispered you know what to do with this. you hadn’t known what to do with it, but you pocketed the card anyways, saving it for a rainy day. maybe this is what he had meant when he said that to you - you’ll find out soon, probably. 

by the time it arrived you were almost sick with anticipation, the thought of it not leaving you as you obsessively checked the tracking of your package every possible second. when it finally arrived they weren’t home, and you opened it without abandon, ripped pieces of cardboard littering the floor. they looked…daunting. almost scary. incredibly exciting.

“tomorrow,” felix says, more to the contents of the box than to you. “tomorrow, we’re going to ruin you with these.”

“tomorrow?” both you and jisung whined together, and you exchanged a fist bump over the box as felix huffed at you. 

and yet, with all of the impatient waiting you did in the past week (and jisung in the past day), tomorrow came sooner than you could catch up with. you were naked on the mattress before you could even blink, cunt clenching around nothing as you watched them lay out the materials that you had so meticulously picked out.

it might be a little too soon for an endeavor like this, it would be smarter to try out every toy first and make sure you were comfortable with all of them, but they’ve kept you waiting too long for this for you to think about being smart right now. 

they lined the toys up at the foot of the bed, all washed and sanitized and ready for whatever filthy use they were going to be put through. there’s four of them, varying in size, girth and length, color, and vibrations and thrusting ability, and you’re already a bit overwhelmed just looking at them. 

or rather, a lot overwhelmed. 

they make eyes at each other over you, having some kind of silent conversation in the creepy way that they do. felix nods and moves to sit by your head, moving you around until your upper body was half in his lap. jisung, on the other hand, picks up the first toy and examines it, twisting it around in his hand. 

“relax, baby,” felix’s voice rumbles through you, and you melt into him a bit when he runs his hand through your hair. 

jisung’s eyes are fixated on your pussy now, and you can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he imagines how wrecked you’re going to be once they’re done with you. 

“jisung, come on,” you whine, wriggling a bit in felix’ lap. 

“let me enjoy this,�� he bites back, sending you a playful glare. 

“i think i’m the one who’s supposed to be enjoying this,” you pout, relaxing back into place when felix tugs at a strand of your hair. 

“oh trust me, you will,” felix’s voice grumbles from behind you, vibrations from it dousing your body just as jisung finally touches you. it’s not quite where you want, his hand is tracing up and down your thigh, but it’s something. 

he takes his time mapping out your skin, planes of smooth flesh that he’s seen and felt and loved before, but never this slowly. never this reverently. it’s almost frustrating, but felix begins massaging your neck and shoulders and you’re too relaxed to provide any protest beyond a frustrated huff of breath as your eyes flutter closed. 

“no, stay with us,” felix coaxes your eyes open, and you almost giggle at how funny he looks upside-down from where you’re laying. it feels like time is moving in slow-motion as jisung uncaps the lube and drizzles it on the toy, the smallest one you had chosen. it’s thin with a bulbous head, created specifically to hit right at your g-spot, a smooth metal with a lustrous purple finish. it’s beautiful, even more so when he runs the cool metal head up and down your folds, warming it up. when it gets to your hole you nearly swallow it up, the glide almost too easy from the lube and your wetness that’s been building since before you even took off your clothes. 

“eager, are we?” jisung teases, and you just snarl back at him, too impatient to deal with being in a sarcastic argument with him right now. you usually love his playful banter during sex, but that’s when you’re in a mutual push and pull dynamic. right now the only thing you want him to push is the toy into you. “fine, i’ll give you what you want, but remember that you asked for it.”

all at once, he’s thrusting it in and out of you, twisting his hand just right so that it hits your spot every single time. it’s already almost too much, and you push up against felix to try and get away from the sudden onslaught. he just laughs, pinning you in place as jisung keeps going and going and going. 

it only takes a few minutes for your orgasm to approach, expectantly fast with how keyed up you’ve been since you woke up. you’re just starting to come when — in one quick move — jisung removes the toy and replaces it with his fingers, crooking them up right where he knows you like it best, over and over. the change in pace makes everything so much more intense, and you can’t stop your body from arching off of the bed, your head pressed into felix’ thighs. it feels like minutes before you slump back onto the mattress, panting hard and twitching from aftershocks. he removes his fingers, holding them up so you and felix could see how slick they are from being inside of you. he sticks them in his mouth, sucking at them a bit like a lollipop, and lets out an appreciative noise at the taste. you hide your face into felix’ leg, embarrassed at his actions. 

jisung doesn’t let you recover before grabbing the second toy, a bright pink vibrator complete with a thrusting head. he forgoes the lube this time, choosing to scoop up your wetness onto his fingertips and spread it across the toy instead. you whine when his fingers brush your clit, overly sensitive even though it hadn’t been touched yet. he settles the tip of it against your hole, rubbing at it in tiny circles.

“what a greedy fucking pussy,” jisung says, almost clinical in the way he looks at felix with an arched brow. like he’s not talking about a person. “just came and she’s already leaking for more.”

felix just hums, dark eyes fixed on the way your bottom lip is stuck between your teeth as jisung slides the second toy into you. it settles in perfectly, leaving you so comfortably full that you think you could fall asleep like this, especially after coming as hard as you just had. 

“what did i tell you?” felix says, accentuating his words with another sharp tug to your hair. “stay with us, baby.” 

“i’m - ah,” your breath leaves you as jisung flicks the vibrator on. even at it’s lowest setting, it sends pulses of pleasure swimming through you, and you feel hot all over. the heat intensifies when he pushes the toy just a little further into you and presses the button for the thrusting to start. it feels strange at first, the rubber head so different to jisung or felix’s cocks, but then he angles it upwards just so and there it is. 

every time you clench down onto it you feel your toes and fingertips tingle with pleasure, little pricks of static taking over your limbs. jisung holds the base close to your entrance, keeping in place as it thrusts into you in a perfectly delicious rhythm. 

“this one might be my favorite,” jisung says, and he sounds like he’s kneeling down to worship something rather than kneeling to absolutely wreck you. you try and reply, but your words get swallowed by a series of sounds that escape your throat. “felix, find a way to shut her up, will you?” 

it’s almost comical the way jisung turns into a control freak when it came to sex; you weren’t complaining though, even when felix hooks his thumb into your mouth and presses down on your tongue. jisung turns the vibrations up and you come for the second time, your eyes rolling so far back that you’re almost scared they’ll get stuck there. he keeps the toy there, letting you ride out your orgasm, and he only turns it off when you start to twitch with oversensitivity. 

“is it my turn now?” felix takes his thumb out of your mouth and strokes his hand down your face, leaving a trail of your spit down your cheek. “i want a turn, you’re hogging her.”

“whiny baby,” jisung tuts, but he stands up from where he had been kneeling in front of you. he drops a kiss to your inner thigh before switching spots with felix, settling in behind you. 

while felix had let your hands wander, clenching in and out of fists as you got more and more into it, jisung had no such notion to give you freedom. he immediately traps your wrists into one of his hands once he was sure your head was comfortable in his lap, and his other hand comes to rest at your collarbone. it’s possessive, the way his fingers curl up just a bit like he’s waiting for a reason to run his nails down your skin. 

the third toy that felix picks up is a normal dildo, clear glass in a respectable size and length, and you’re almost glad for a little normalcy right now. 

“should i eat you out first? make you come on my tongue before using this?” he asks, mouth so close to your clit that you could feel his breath hitting it. it made you shiver. 

“if you do that i might not last,” you groan, trying to clamp your thighs shut but you were stopped by felix’s hands. “you’ll have to scrape my body off of the bed.”

“i’ll have to do that anyways when i’m through with you,” he teases, drawing back a bit. “but you’re right. i want to see your face when i ruin you, and it’s hard to do that from down there.”

the slide of the dildo entering you was almost undetectable after jisung had dealt with you, the only thing you could feel was the coolness of the glass and the fullness in your lower belly. 

you sigh, letting your head fall back into jisung. maybe felix would go easy on you for the first one? you let your body relax so felix could push it all the way in. 

you regretted that almost immediately though - felix, with all of his dancer’s grace and control, knows exactly what to do with his hands. knows how to twist his wrist just right, how to speed up and slow back down in perfect timing, and it doesn’t matter that it’s just a normal dildo because he isn’t a normal fucking person. 

he alternated between an insanely fast and agonizingly slow rhythm, never letting you get used to one before switching to the other. every time you got close, he’d angle it just away from your spot, leaving you teetering on the edge of an orgasm over and over. 

if jisung wasn’t holding you down you’d be thrashing against the sheets right now. 

when felix finally let’s you come it’s with his mouth sucking at your clit and your body taught as a rope. it feels like hours before you come down, wave after wave of boiling pleasure burning through your veins, taking over your whole body. 

“okay?” jisung asks as felix pulls the toy out of you, shushing you when you whine at the feeling. 

“guh,” you let out, the most intelligent response you can offer him right now. he lets go of your wrists to intertwine his hands in yours, keeping you close but knowing that you needed the grounding. 

the last toy was really for them. you know that they’re little freaks inside, and you couldn’t stop yourself from selecting it - a bright green and red silicone toy, shaped like a tentacle. it’s wide at the base, about the size of your fist, and that brings up another idea that you store in your head for later. the tip is tapered, and little faux suction cups line the entire surface of the toy. it isn’t too long, but god it’s thick. 

felix picks up the bottle of lube and coats the thing generously, and you’re grateful for it. for how big it is, you weren’t sure if your body was capable of slicking it up without some help. 

“can’t,” you stutter out when he places the tip at your entrance, teasing it inside of you. you wanted to move away but you couldn’t, jisung made sure of that. 

“you can,” jisung coos at you, the first time he’s spoken since switching places with felix. “you know what to say it you really can’t. but i think you can, baby girl.”

he’s right. through all of this, your safeword hadn’t even breached through to your consciousness. you still wanted this, as insane as it was. 

“fuck, you’re stretched out,” felix curses, pushing the toy into you. you can feel it all the way in your throat, even though it was only a little over halfway inside of you. god, was he going to try and get the whole thing in?

the answer was yes, he was. he twists his wrist, letting your body get used to the girth of the toy for a moment before pulling it out almost all the way. he slowly slides it back in, and the squelch of the suction cups dragging in and out makes you flush so hard you feel lightheaded. 

jisung is breathing hard behind you, and you revel in how affected he is right now. you chose well, you did good.

you’ve never had something inside of you that felt like this; it wasn’t moving but you could imagine if it was, in the ways that tentacles did in the hentai jisung made you watch - you never understood the appeal until now. you wanted it to completely engulf you. you had almost forgotten that it was attached to felix’s hand until he started pumping it in and out of you, absolutely obscene sounds filling the room from both it and your own mouth. 

when you come for the last time it’s a fragile thing, slow rolls of heat washing over you, less intense but no less pleasurable. you feel floaty even felix removes the toy carefully, dumping it on the floor and pressing a flutter of kisses to your thighs. your head is sailing through the clouds just as your body feels weightless, the only thing keeping you tethered to the bed being their hands on you. 

“let’s get her cleaned up,” jisung says, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. 

“no, ‘m not done,” you mumble, half into jisung’s arm where your mouth is now squished. there’s a line of drool running from your lips down his skin, but you’re too exhausted to care about something that would normally send you into a fit of embarrassment. 

“oh, she’s out,” felix sounds almost in awe, like he can’t believe the state the two of them had pushed you towards. that he couldn’t believe that, even though you couldn’t move a single limb in your body, you were still asking for more. felix reaches to the nightstand where he had placed a cool water bottle with a straw peeking out, and he holds it up to your mouth so you can suck small sips. the water feels heavenly, soothing your parched throat perfectly. did he put magic in this water? it sure feels like he did. 

you didn’t realize that you were talking out loud until they laugh, the sound of it sending happiness throughout your entire body. you made them happy. 

“hi baby,” felix materializes at your side, cradling your face in his hands so you are looking at him instead of the ceiling. “bath or washcloth?”

“can’t move,” you replied, hoping he’d understand. when he comes back with a washcloth and starts cleaning you up, you know he did. he knows you so well. 

you let out a series of whines when he cleans around your pussy, the burn of overstimulation bordering on painful now. jisung soothes you with a kiss for each one, his hands still intertwined with yours. 

you fall asleep before felix finishes, and you miss the way they both look at you with nothing but adoration in their eyes. 

—

kinktober masterlist

[lisenberry]

We drift in and out

Chapter 3: Did I find you, or you find me?

E/NSFW/MDNI

CW: Consensual Somno, Light Breeding, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst

6k (I know, I went nuts)

10k COMPLETE!

This whole fic started with one picture of a man with hairy arms holding a baby. Everything that came after was a fever dream.

Ch. 1 , Ch. 2, AO3

You had one last night together.  Eighteen short hours before a black Land Rover would pick him up and take him away.  Off to catch a plane to some forward operating base in a remote, foreign place.

He’d been home with you for four months, by far his longest leave yet.  With each day, you’d gotten more comfortable, wondering if maybe he’d become permanent.  That instead of just playing house, you were living something real.  Building something special together.

That your plans could change, and you could let the fearful part of you rest.  That doubtful voice that kept you always prepared.  Always on.  The survival mode that kept you moving forward but also stopped you from slowing down long enough to breathe.  To enjoy.

It was a skill that benefited you in your work.  The single-minded attention to detail and success.  And when you’d learned you were pregnant, it had kept you from giving into the panic of the unknown.  But once she was born, you didn’t have a choice, but to sit with it all.  The joy, and the exhaustion.  Slow, blissful days had become your routine.    

Now you were facing the plan again.  The one he wasn’t in.  You’d survive, of course, but the bleakness of it cut like a wound.  You should’ve known nothing so perfect could last forever.  Maybe you did know, deep down.  Maybe he did, too, and that’s why you kept each other just a bit out of reach. 

But you still had a little more time.  A few more memories to make before it came to an uncertain end.

You popped out to Marks & Sparks for supplies to make dinner.  It had become a little holiday for you in the last few months.  He’d stay home with the baby, and you’d put on real clothes and do your hair and escape for a few hours to squeeze the fruits and smell the cheeses.  Go aisle by aisle and daydream about new recipes to try.

Not this time.  This time you hurried through as fast as you could.  Wasted not a minute as you snatched up everything on your list and rushed to get back to them.

They weren’t in your apartment when got home, so you crossed the hall and knocked on the door to his. 

“It’s open!”  His voice rang from inside, as you tried the knob and walked in.

He had the baby’s highchair in the kitchen, and the dining room table set with fine china and candles.  Music crooned from some hidden speaker, something classical you’d never heard before.

“What’s all this?”  You asked, as you set down the bags of groceries on his counter. 

“I thought we could eat out tonight.  Something different.”  He stood with his hands at his hips, and a burp cloth strung over his shoulder.  A scheming smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.  They didn’t crinkle at the edges the same way you’d gotten used to.

“You’re okay with me making a mess of your kitchen?”  You teased.  “You know I’ll use every pan and utensil at my disposal.”

Your place was lovely, but his side of the building had twice the space, and a balcony that overlooked Hyde Park.  During the few times you visited, it had felt like stepping into a different world.  Like a fancy hotel suite in a far-off country, in the way that it had visitors but never really felt lived in.  Sanitized into a blank slate, adaptable to anyone who crossed the threshold in search of an escape from their mundane reality.

Or like a museum, it was a place that existed outside of time. 

“You cook, I’ll clean up.”   He leaned his hips back against the granite and opened his arms to it welcomingly. 

It made sense that he’d want to spend his last night in his own home.  His own bed. 

“Suit yourself,” you plopped a smacking kiss on the baby’s downy head as she sat contentedly in her chair, chewing on a colorful toy.

When you turned your attention back to him, he waited patiently for his greeting.   The longing with which he first looked at you and your daughter the day you’d come home was back again.  It had seemed like the start of something then.

This time it felt like the end, as you pulled up on your tip toes and pressed a kiss to his lips.  Short and sweet.  If you hooked your arms around his neck and buried your face in his neck, like every corner of your soul was aching to do, you’d never let go.

The food would rot on the counter and the hard things would never get done. 

So, you settled back down and unpacked the bags in front of you. 

“Will you pick the wine?  I’m making your favorite.” 

In lifetimes past, you would’ve dressed up and gone to The Midland in King’s Cross for dinner.  Fed each other oysters and champagne.  Danced until the early hours of the morning and crashed wildly into bed.  Shared a cigar afterwards, naked but for the shelter of each other’s arms.

This time, you made roast beef with fingerling potatoes, minty peas, and glazed carrots.  Topped with gravy and with a side of Yorkshire pudding to sop it all up.

It’d be some time before the baby could join in on the feast, but she flailed with enthusiasm at the smells and the excitement with which the two of you ate.  Oblivious to how much her lukewarm cereal and the bottle that she could now almost hold on her own paled in comparison.

In place of a West End show, there were airplane spoons and milky sneezes to keep you laughing.  Something to focus on besides the future.  Besides each other. 

The chasm that was too deep and too far to cross, let alone name.

As if on cue, with the last sip of wine, she started to fuss.  Fisted her eyes and arched her back in surrender as John rose to soothe her.  You’d have many more nights to put her to bed, but who knew what awaited him.  You gave him the time alone as you collected the place settings and started the cleaning that he’d promised you.

The little one sighed so heavily against his chest as she curled into him, burying her fingers in his shirt.  You knew the feeling, ached for it as you silently cursed your ability to dirty so many dishes making a meal. 

He was gone long enough for you to handwash the china and fill the dishwasher, and you wondered if she fought sleep, or if he simply lingered a little longer.  Did he tell her a story, or share some secret that was just between them? 

The polished wood floorboards creaked under his weight when he finally returned to the kitchen.  There was a stiffness to his towering form, as if he was flexing under an invisible weight.

“Just in time.  Everything’s already done,” you chided, gently, as you dried your hands on a towel.    

“I set her up in the portable crib with the monitor.  In the bedroom next to mine.”

“Her first sleepover.”  You still couldn’t look at him.  You hadn’t yet, had you?  Not really.  Not since he got the call earlier that day.

Since you’d told him he was never meant to be a part of your life.  That you could live without him.

A lie that he’d surely seen through, but you needed to keep for yourself as you busied your hands and kept your back to him.

But he wouldn’t let you hide, as he stepped behind you and pulled you in. 

“Don’t pull away.  Please.  Not yet.”  He tucked his grizzled chin into the curve of your neck. 

“I’m trying.”  You let your head fall back against him, vaguely aware that the music was still playing.  Something sad and slow as you swayed to the beat of it.

His hands rested on your hips as he spun you around to face him.  If a kiss could fix everything, you gave it to him then.  Did your best as you fisted his hair and pulled him down to you, while his palms roamed lower to cup your ass and lift you onto the counter.

Like meat and wine, you savored his lips and his tongue as he delved even deeper.  Splitting you open and demanding more.  Demanding everything. 

Your shirt was over your head and his roughened fingers scratched along the skin of your back, massaging and kneading the sides of your spine while he unhooked your bra.  The same muscles you’d kept rigid all day he coaxed into pliancy with each stroke as a weak moan slipped past your lips.

“That’s a girl.  Be soft and sweet for me, will you?”  He started off slow at the tip of your ear, trailing light, tickling kisses down the shell and to where the lobe met your neck.    

It sent shivers down your arms, and your naked breasts budded to peaks as they grazed against the cool smoothness of his shirt.  You didn’t want cool, or smooth, just heat and texture as you pulled it off his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his hips.

He groaned at the contact, a fierce and hungry sound as he took one of your hands and slotted it between you.  Pressed your palm against the bulge in his pants and grinded against it, letting you feel the way it grew and hardened at your touch.

“Tell me you’ll miss me.  Fucking lie to me, just say it,” he grated out, against your collarbone.  Miss him?  Lie to him?  It would be a lie to say you wouldn’t.  “I need to hear you to say it.” 

“I miss you already,” you whined, as you slid your hands from his groin to his ass and anchored him closer to the dampening heat at your core.

“I’m right here.” 

“Then take me to bed.  And show me how much you’ll miss me.”  It was your turn to grind against him, rubbing the bud of your arousal greedily along the lip of his fly through your thin linen pants as your tits bobbed wantonly against his furry chest.

“Not going to last long if you keep doing that, love,” he growled, lifting you up again and carrying you down the hallway.  “I’d rather take my time.”

And he did, starting with his fingers, then his mouth.  Drawing out each sensation like he was mapping the stars.   Exploring the far reaches of your body and forging new paths until you were shaking and spent. 

You marked him in return.  Staked a claim on the meat of his pec with a dark red love bite as he came hard and hot inside your pulsating quim.  Filled you up with a contented smile on his face, as if there was no better feeling in the world.  No place he’d rather be.

“Be back before it fades, okay?”  You nuzzled the hair around the spot with your nose as you drifted off beside him, his fingers lazily circling your hole to push the leaky drops of his seed back in. 

Did he have hopes that it would take? 

Did you?

Later, a strangled sound, like a wounded animal woke you from a fitful sleep.  At some point, you must’ve turned to your side and faced away from him because he was behind you.  Pulling at your hips and burying his head between your shoulder blades.

“John?  What is it?”

“Just a dream.  A bad dream.” 

You felt the swell of his cock as he sought out the smooth shelter between your thighs.  Arching against him instinctively, you curved onto your back and parted your legs as he absently rutted around to find your opening.  Still brimming with the sticky spend from your last bout.

He’d always been a giver, but this one was just for him as he worked out his nightmare on your flesh, your insides, your soul.  It felt like a battle.  A whole damn war as he smothered you with his heavy, dead-weight body and took ground, pounding away at your sensitive, stimulated cunt.

You wondered if he was even awake, or if he was still in the dream, as he fucked into you roughly and muttered far away words.  Bit back his own tears as they mixed with the sweat on your skin.

“Mine...Fucking mine...Not letting you go...Not to anyone else...”

Deprived of oxygen from his bulk on your chest, you almost blacked out with the force of your climax, caught by surprise at the way the mound of hair at his base aroused your clit into bloom with each thrust.  A tenderness amidst the brutal onslaught.  A divine mercy. 

If you had air, you’d have screamed at the intensity of it.  Spotty flashes of light broke the darkness as you felt the last of your spurting aftershocks flutter around him, soaking you both and easing the incinerating friction from the stretch of him. 

You could only clench your teeth and your walls as he shuddered with the strength of his own fresh release.  With his face buried in your shoulder, you knew he didn’t smile this time.  The sorrow of it hit you like a blow to your heart as you felt him stiffen with awareness, the fog of sleep clearing from his consciousness.

“I’m yours.  There’s no one else, John,” you panted, begged, as he eased up onto to his elbows to give you enough space to take a breath.  “Only you.”

********

Before you knew it, the black Land Rover was waiting like a harbinger along the street below.

“Here’s the keys to the truck, and to my place.  Just in case.”  He tossed a set into the bowl you kept on the sideboard.  “I know how much you’re dying to go spying in my cupboards.”  He raised a amused eyebrow to match the gentle hitch in his mustache.

“I wouldn’t do that.”  Except you totally would.  At the first opportunity.

“Afraid of what you’ll find?”

“An expired box of Earl Grey in the kitchen, perfectly sorted socks in the bedroom.  Stinky smelling beard oil in the bathroom.”  You flashed a cheeky grin at the last, in an effort to keep the tone light. 

If he could be strong, so could you.  You wouldn’t be the one to break.  No matter what you felt like on the inside.  You’d save it for when he was gone.

“Beard oil?  This is all natural.”  As if you’d insulted his manhood, he smoothed his mustache down with two hands, in a way you’d seen him do a thousand times.  He’d trained any willfulness from his facial hair with nothing but nose grease and perseverance.  Molded by time and patience, like marble cliffs and silt-shined creek beds.

“But I was right about the socks though, wasn’t I?”

“And the tea.”  He hitched his mouth into a smile and turned his focus to the gurgling baby perched on his hip, yapping and cooing like she was in on the conversation.

The way he looked at her gave you hope that he’d call it all off.  He’d sit back down on the couch and turn on the football.  Put his heavy feet up on your table and let his flight leave without him.

“I’m sure we can find some priceless antiques in there she can teeth on.”  They would start coming in soon.  Another change he’d miss.

“Look, you don’t have to wait.”  He paused to clear the words he was looking for from his throat.  “I understand if you—”

“I just got you, John,” you cut him off, saving him from the self-sacrificing speech, and looked down at her chubby fist wrapped in a white-knuckle grip around his finger.  “You’re not getting rid of us yet.”

Don’t let go, sweetheart.  Don’t let him go.  You willed it into her with your own thoughts.

Your world had gotten so small since she was born.  You’d gone from having a job that needed you, coworkers and clients with a network of responsibilities, down to having just one job. 

One person who needed you.

But it would’ve been a lot smaller without him.  How lonely would you have been without someone to share it all with?  How much of him had seeped into your life, and your heart?

“Be nice to your mum,” he whispered against her soft head, as he kissed her cheek and passed her back to you quickly.  Looking everywhere but at you.  “You have Kate’s number?  In case you need anything?”

You pulled him closer with your free hand to his waist, forcing him to see you.  Eyes wide and blue, he looked scared.  For the first time.

Anything more than a kiss to the forehead would have broken you both.  You’d already said your goodbyes the night before, and again that morning.  So, you simply tilted your head up to him, your own eyes kind and trusting, and felt his beard graze your skin one last time.

And then you watched him go.

********

By the third week, nothing in your apartment smelled like him anymore.  Everything had been washed, and the windows had been left open too long to let in the cool fall breeze.  Looking around, you realized that nothing in your home was his.

He’d come through your life with a force and left no trace behind, as if he was never even there.  It wasn’t right.  You wished with renewed clarity that you’d taken more pictures of him.  That you’d recorded every moment. 

Something to show your daughter, someday, if she ever questioned whether or not she was loved.  Something you could show yourself, when your mind tricked you into believing it was just a dream.

It was the need to seek out that connection, that comfort, that had you unlocking the door to his flat and letting yourself inside.  It was dark, and too quiet.  Cold and cavernous, like he was the one who heated it and gave it light. 

With the baby bouncing on your hip, you explored from room to room.  Three bedrooms and four bathrooms.  And still, you couldn’t find a trace of him anywhere there either.

His sheets had been washed since you’d spent the night.  His bathroom scrubbed of any lingering soap by the cleaning company that came once a month to keep it free of dust and spiders while he was away.

Trapped in time until the next visitor passed through.

Your grief and frustration sprung anew as you moved into his office.  Surely it would have something.  The indent of his body in a leather seat, or the half-burnt end of a forgotten cigar.

But his chair was too firm to leave a crease, and his ashtray was clean.   

There were no medals or honors hung along the walls, and the top of his desk was empty, except for one framed photo.  It was exactly what you were looking for, but at the same time, something you never expected.

It was from four years before, when he’d talked you into running a marathon together for a charity for wounded veterans.  You remembered the day clearly but never knew someone had taken a picture.  It must’ve been at the end, because you were both dewy-faced and soaked in sweat, smiling like mad.

His arm was around your shoulder and yours was at his waist.  You looked like a couple.  Like you were in love.  Was that how you always looked when you were together? 

Was this what you’d been missing out on all this time?

Surely, there were others.  You’d open a drawer and find photos of him with other people.  His parents, his friends.  Other women.

But as you pulled them apart one by one, you only found files of old bank statements and tax forms.  Until you got to the bottom.  A lone manila envelope, padded and thick.

With your name written in the wonky, hurried strokes of his hand.

Your own hands shook as you turned it over to find it sealed.  He must’ve wanted you to see what was inside, or else it wouldn’t have your name on it.

Right?

It felt like paper, documents of some kind, but with something else to give it bulk.  You shouldn’t have seen it, shouldn’t have gone digging through his stuff.  But he’d known you were going to snoop.  Had practically dared you to, didn’t he?

You tucked it back in where you’d found it.  Whatever it was, he could give it to you when he came back.  You’d promised him that you’d wait, and you would.

However long it took.

Just as you shut the drawer, your phone began to buzz in your pocket, jolting you guiltily as if you’d been caught.  You took it out, expecting it to be just another spam call, but paused in immediate horror at the name across the screen. 

(John’s) Kate

He’d saved the contact in your phone in case you needed to get in touch with him.  You couldn’t think of a situation where you’d be justified in pulling his attention away from a job, but you could only think of one reason she’d be calling you.

“Hello,” you answered.

*******

Two hours later, your apartment was full.  Well, there were only four guests gathered around your coffee table and perched with varying degrees of curiosity and tension along your couch and side chairs, but it felt overcrowded considering their size.

Three men that you’d never seen before, and then there was Kate.  Somehow, she took up just as much space as they did.  She carried herself with an air of authority that made your spine straighten reflexively. 

“He didn’t tell us he had a family.”  The clean cut one in the ball cap, who’d introduced himself as Kyle, spoke first as you poured him a cup of tea.  “We all wanted to express our support in person.”

“There wasn’t much to tell until recently,” you smiled, slightly, trying to be a good hostess despite the circumstances.

“You’ve been his emergency contact for the last five years,” Kate added as she declined your offer of milk and sugar.

“I didn’t know that.”  That was as long as you’d known each other.  Did he really not have anyone else? 

“He’s a very private man.”  She did you the favor of talking about him as if he wasn’t gone.  As if there was still hope.

“How did you know about it?”  MacTavish, the stocky Scot with the close-cut mohawk intoned back to her, with a bristling hostility you couldn’t miss.

“I’m CIA.  It’s my job to know everyone’s secrets.” 

You thought maybe she was trying to make a joke, but her face was dead serious. 

“We never would have let him—” He looked regretfully from you to your baby as the blond one with the black surgical mask cut him off with a supportive hand to his knee.

“Have any of you ever successfully talked him out of something once he’d put his mind to it?”  You looked around at the faces of the men staring back at you.  The people he spent all his time with when he wasn’t with you.  “I’m sure that’s why he didn’t tell you.  Afraid you’d treat him differently if he was a real person.”

Perhaps for the same reason he’d never told you how he felt.  Afraid to make it something real.  Something it would hurt to lose.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened, please,” you continued, bracing for the worst.

“A massive fuck up from the beginning, is what it was—”  Kyle interjected, heatedly, before he was interrupted by a pointed look from Kate.

“It’s mostly classified, of course.  So, we can’t go into details.  But John requested an indefinite leave of absence about four months ago.  In the interim, his team was assigned to assist another task force in a sensitive operation.”  She spoke evenly as if reciting a sequence of events before a committee.

And you listened, all the while searching for the bits she left unsaid.  The parts that she hid behind her narrative. 

Phrases like, ‘severe loss of life’, ‘pinned down in hostile territory’, and ‘unable to ascertain status’, were cold, calculated ways of saying something went horribly wrong.

You weren’t a naïve civilian who devoured sound bites at face value.  You worked with government contracts all the time.  American, British.  They were all the same.  ‘Cover your ass,’ was their collective motto.

When she finished, you had more questions than answers.  But one thing stood out in your mind.  He hadn’t been home for so long by accident.  He’d chosen to stay.  He’d given up his team, indefinitely, to be with you. 

“So, if I understand correctly, it was a massive fuck up.  You him called away, despite his clear wishes to be left alone, to save your ass and theirs.”  You turned your attention from Kate over to the team.  “And he got you out.  And you left him behind?” 

He’d quit for you.  But he’d gone back for them. 

“Not willingly.”  The one in the mask, Lieutenant Riley, spoke up for the first time.  His eerily dark eyes shot daggers at Kate, as if the fault was hers.

“He knew what he was doing.  We needed to reassess the objective and regroup.  And I’m available to discuss it at length with you another time, Lieutenant.”

“We know he’s alive.”  MacTavish reassured you.  “If he was dead, they’d be broadcasting his body and celebrating all over the dark web.” 

Oh, what a relief.  The visual turned up bile your throat.

“And if he’s been taken prisoner or something?”

“He’s an exceptionally valuable hostage.  We’ll have a few weeks at least, while they interrogate him, before he’s ransomed.”

Tortured, she meant.  The bile turned to acid, and you forced yourself not to be sick. 

“So, what now?”  You were in a daze.  Kate’s firm, rational, voice grounded you and kept you present when all you wanted to do was breakdown.  To scream and cry and pound your fists against their chests to get back out there and find him.

Her position demanded it, you imagined.  Judging by the tension flowing between the team, they ached to do just that.  It was as if they were held back by some invisible muzzle.  Reined in by years of service.  One strong woman was all that kept them from charging off to take matters into their own hands.

“We’ll keep you updated as soon as we have news,” Kate answered, softer than before.  Perhaps aware that her words alone held little comfort.  That they were as grim as hollow condolences.  “But here, standard protocol.  We had it stripped of anything sensitive.  There’s only a few pictures and text messages left.  It’s unlocked.” 

She handed you his battered old phone.  The screen was scratched up, and the case was cracked enough to be useless protection.  You didn’t think they even supported this model anymore.  You couldn’t help but smile when you saw it. 

‘It’s busted to bloody hell, but still hanging on’, he’d said about it once with a proud laugh.  You prayed that he was the same, wherever he was.

“Thank you.  It was nice to meet you all,” you replied, politely, suddenly anxious to be alone.  To fall apart in peace.  “I wish it was under better circumstances.  Maybe next time we can have a drink and a proper laugh.  When he’s home.” 

“We’ll get him back, Mrs. Price.”  It was Kyle who pulled you into a hug, as if you were family.  “I promise.”

It was the first time anyone had called you that, and you didn’t correct him.  In the moment, it was a comfort.  A universal truth that you longed to hear from someone else’s lips. 

The others followed suit with their goodbyes, but their warmth and concern were a shallow replacement for the man you were missing.  Kate settled for a stoic handshake before you closed the door on them all and set your back against it for support.

The phone in your hand was heavy as you pulled it up to see his text messages, looking for any possible clue or something to keep hope alive.  There were a few off color jokes between him and his mates.   Notes to you about what was for dinner, and silly photos he’d taken of the baby.

One single text exchange with Kate.  As if he’d deleted them as soon as they came in.  Or perhaps Kate had wiped them as part of her pruning.  It was from four months prior. 

I hope you know what you’re doing.

Never more certain in my life.

Were they talking about you?  Of his choice to leave?  It reminded you of something else he’d left behind.  Something you’d forgotten in the whirlwind of the last few hours.

When you held the envelope again in your hands, you didn’t think twice about ripping through the seal.  Inside was a stack of handwritten letters, all dated and signed with his name.

You focused on the one on top, from the day before he’d left.

Hey love,

If you’re reading this, then something must’ve happened to me.  Or your curious nature got the best of you, and you went snooping around my desk.

I hope it’s the latter because it’s time you knew, and who knows when I’ll get the courage to tell you myself.  But if it’s the former, then I’m sorry.

I can’t say I’m surprised, though.  There’s only so many times I can dare death to find me before it wins.  You just have to know that I did my best, for whatever it’s worth.

I never felt like I could have a family.  I didn’t deserve that sort of peace after the things I’ve done.  I’ve taken too many lives to have any chance at a happy one.  Killed too many sons to be entitled to any of my own.

It’s been my purpose.  What I’m good at.  And I never wanted to bring that burden home to anyone else.

Then I saw you again after I made myself a promise to stay away from you this time.  You were so fearless and calm.  I just wanted to be near you.  Close enough that you might scare away the darkness in me.  

If someone like you, and her, could trust me and see any good in me, then maybe I’m not such a monster after all. 

You made me believe in fate.  In something bigger that was beyond my control.  I just hope that it’s not done with me yet.  That it’s not done with us. 

If this is the end, then I just want to say thank you and leave you with everything.  Everything that I have, and everything that I left unsaid.

These letters are from all the other times I’ve done this.  The other missions that called me away since we met, in the event that I didn’t come back.  You were the only thing worth coming home to, and I’m sorry I didn’t share them sooner. 

If you’re just being nosy, and I’m already warm in our bed with the baby drooling on my chest, I hope I’ve already told you a thousand times how much I love you.  How lucky I am to have known your love in return.

And I hope you’re already wearing one of these rings.  I couldn’t decide which one, so I’ll let you choose.  They’ve been in my family for ages.  All yours now.

All my heart, John.

The pages were flooded with salty tears by the time the jingle at the bottom of the envelope caught your attention.  Five different rings.  Yellow and white gold, glistening diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires.  Old and new.

But not yet.  You didn’t dare to touch them yet.  Didn’t choose.  You believed in fate, too.  He wasn’t gone, and it wasn’t the end. 

*******

The next days passed by in a blur, waiting by the phone.  You were thankful for the baby, as she didn’t let you wallow or crumble the way you wanted to.  There were still diapers to change, and bottles to fill.  Smiles to fake and colic to soothe.

You wondered if she missed him, too.  If she even noticed he was gone.

It was three in the morning when you got the call, and you shot up in bed, sleep quickly forgotten when you answered.  You didn’t even bother to look at the caller ID.

“John!”

“Hiya, darling.”  His voice was a faint groan of relief. 

“Where are you?”  You held the phone away from your face just long enough to see the long, foreign number with a country code you couldn’t place.  “Does Kate know where you are?”

“I don’t have a lot of time.  I’m in the blind.  I just wanted to hear your voice.”

You flung off your covers and rushed to your computer.  He was in trouble.    

“I’m here.  Are you hurt?” 

“Not bad.”  You could hear him smiling, the way the words huffed out through pained lips.  It was definitely bad.

You had to keep him talking, to stay on the line long enough for you to work.  The laptop took forever to start up.  You hadn’t used it since you’d left your employment, and it must’ve needed a hundred updates.  But you didn’t have time as your fingers trembled anxiously over the keys.

This was what you did.  This was your job.  You designed software that could find people.  Find targets.  Needles in the giant haystack that was the world.

You set the phone to speaker mode and plugged it in to your program.

“Whose phone is this, John?”  It would be encrypted, you presumed.  You wouldn’t be lucky enough to have its location turned on. 

“An old friend.  I’d put him on, but he’s not with us anymore, I’m afraid.  Poor fellow took a fall.”  Another gurgled laugh.  “But his name was Makarov.  When you talk to Kate, tell her the mission’s complete.”

“You can tell her yourself.  You’re going to be fine.  Just keep talking to me.”

You buzzed through lines of code, searching for the one you needed. 

“How’s the poppet?  Is she being a good girl?”

“She’s sleeping.  She’s okay.  Misses you.  Can’t wait to see you.”

Got it!  You broke through the encryption and pinned his location using satellite GPS.

“It’s not looking good, love.”

“Do you believe in fate, John?”  You asked, as you used your laptop’s connection to call Kate.

There was a reason you’d met each other.  You were certain now that nothing had been by chance.  You were meant to find him.  You were meant to find each other.

“Ah, went pawing through my drawers, did you?  Which ring did you pick?” 

“I’ll show you when you get home,” you promised as the line finally connected.  “Kate!  I know where John is.  You have to hurry.”

You sent her the coordinates to the exact centimeter.  He was deep underground, in some kind of a bunker.  Or an old mineshaft.  To her credit, Kate didn’t argue or ask where you got your intel.

Two hours later, you were still on the phone with him.  The light began to creep slowly through the curtains, bringing with it a brand new day.  But his breath had slowed, and his words came thicker from his throat.

“Just a little longer, okay?”  You didn’t let him sense your fear as you quietly willed your life into him, to keep him hanging on. 

Where the fuck were they?

The line had gone too quiet when you heard the blast. 

“John!  John, what was that?”  You prayed it was the team, and not a fresh wave of enemy combatants come to finish the job.

“In here!”  John’s voice, with a renewed strength. 

“Bravo-7 to Watcher.  Eyes on Bravo-6.  We’ve got him.”  You heard Lieutenant Riley’s unmistakable accent breakthrough as he got closer to the phone.  “Have med-evac waiting topside.  He’s in rough shape.”  He switched from his comms to John.  “Can you walk, Cap?”

“Well, you aren’t fucking carrying me, Ghost.  That’s for bloody sure.”

“Please don’t leave me.”  The tears that you finally let fall were of release.  Of relief.  You didn’t know if he still held the phone, or if it lay forgotten on the ground as they carried him away.

“Careful what you wish for, darling.”

[mini-cactus-me]

I have this idea so clear in my head of an SakuAtsu / UshiTen fic in which Tendou and Atsumu accidentally stumble into a friends-with-benefits relationship after Ushijima and Sakusa announce their relationship.

It’s done following an Adlers-MSBY game and Atsumu puts on a happy face but leaves at the first opportunity to drown his sorrows in liquor in a bar where he doesn’t have to be surrounded by his congratulatory teammates and well wishes to the new couple.

Two drinks in, the stranger next to him swivels in his chair to face him with a commiseratory expression and says he recognizes a broken hearted stranger and let him buy him a drink.

Atsumu tries to wave off the guy, wanting to wallow alone, but the guy doesn’t seem care and buys him a drink anyway.

The man introduces himself as Satori, a name that tickles Atsumu memory but he ignores it. He has the glazed eyes of someone who has already had a fair share of liquor and rocks in his chair as he waxes poetic about how he flew out all the way from Paris to finally confess his feelings to his best friend from high school, only to show up at the bar his friend was celebrating at to find him celebrating his new relationship. He slipped out without a word, not wanting to ruin the mood with his broken heart.

It’s around their third shared drink that Atsumu reciprocates the gesture. Because hell, he’s drunk and heartbroken and this man is also drunk and heartbroken and maybe he just wants someone to listen. So he talks about Sakusa. His stupid hair and his stupid hand sanitizer and his stupidly flexible body and his stupidly handsome face and his stupid gloating smile when he wins and the stupid way he’s a germaphobe but still brings him medicine when he’s sick and all the things that made Atsumu fall stupidly in love with him, and now he’s stuck heartbroken bc the guy he’s in love with is now dating his high school crush and they’re probably gonna get married and have a stupidly beautiful wedding and live happily ever after.

And Satori listens to him and pats his back consolingly and suddenly Atsumu is kissing him because, fuck it, they’re both drunk and lonely and Sakusa is probably back at Ushijima’s place so why shouldn’t he have a little fun?

There’s hands and teeth and tongues, and the two of them somehow make it back to Atsumu’s room at the MYSB dorms and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur.

When Atsumu wakes up the next morning with a pounding hangover, to a surprised yelp from his door.

“Tendou-san! What are you doing in Atsumu’s room?”

Standing at the door with a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water, is Hinata, slack-jawed and looking between Satori and Atsumu, and suddenly, the synapses in his brain that had been bogged down by liquor last night, start firing.

The redhead looks between Hinata and Atsumu. His expression in clear confusion, trying to figure out how Hinata is here, but Atsumu is already well aware who the red head standing in his boxers is.

Satori. Tendou Satori.

Tendou Satori who was the middle blocker and famous Guess Monster of Shiratorizawa.

Tendou Satori who is Ushijima Wakatoshi’s best friend who lives in Paris.

Sakusa is going to kill him.

Thus begins a comedy of errors in which Tendou and Atsumu try and disguise the fact that they’ve slept together from their respective unrequited loves, all the while Ushijima and Sakusa’s relationship grows tense as they both find growing discomfort in Atsumu and Tendou’s perceived closeness.

[boymanmaletheshequel]

Subtle ways to honor Hygeia 🫧⚕️

- be kind to yourself

- brush your teeth

- use soap and shampoo

- take baths or showers

- treat wounds or infections

- be kind to care providers and nurses

- be kind to sanitation workers and custodians

- clean your bathroom when it begins to turn nasty.

- trim your nails

- sanitize and sterilize surfaces of items or objects that could accumulate bacteria and make you sick

- do your dishes

- use tissues and other proper sanitary devices like toilet paper and face masks if necessary.

- dispose of garbage responsibly and correctly.

- treat blemishes like acne and pimples holistically and safely.

- use hygiene products that are safe and effective for your skin and body

- wash your hands after using the bathroom (I know some of y’all don’t, too)

- please for the love of GOD flush toilets, especially public ones.

- use deodorant and perfumes

- get necessary vaccinations

- support local bills and political proposals that benefit public health and safety

- correct people on dangerous medical misinformation surrounding disease and sanitation.

[visionsthatdance]

Support for Western North Carolina

This is the text body of an email from Carolina Jews for Justice, a grassroots organizing group based in Durham, NC. I thought I would share it here.

Monetary Donations = Direct Aid

Please consider making donations to the following mutual aid and support efforts or on-ground organizations, and please share widely:

Day One Relief is mobilizing and a trusted source sending direct aid via plane to hard hit spaces. 

*Monetary and Direct Item Give*

 Donate to Day One Relief

Operation Airdrop

Mutual Aid Disaster Relief

Triangle Mutual Aid (coordinating with Asheville Mutual Aid)

BeLoved Asheville - needs funds and is coordinating volunteers with trucks who can drive supplies to people, out of 32 Old Charlotte Hwy Asheville, NC

Organizing Resilience (benefits Down Home NC, and other rural organizers doing the deep, year-round work, and partaking in community assessment surveys right now)

Items Needed

Water

Life Straws

Chainsaws

Heavy-duty storage totes

Heavy-duty tarps (the blue ones are less good)

Generators

Roofing nails

Baby formula

Non-perishable food

Manual can openers

Coolers

Gatorade

Wire brushes

Trash bags (the heavy ones are sometimes called "contractor bags")

Brooms

Mops

Laundry detergent

Washboards

Batteries, power banks

Mosquito spray

Toilet paper

Dehumidifiers

Box fans

Solar charging items

Diapers, baby wipes

5 gal buckets

Respirators and N-95 cartridges

2x4s

Bleach

Drop-Off Locations

Triangle Area

+ Carrboro, NC: 

Back Alley Bikes

100 Boyd St, Carrboro, NC 27510

Open Tues - Sat. 11am to 6pm

+ Durham, NC:

The Scrap Exchange

2050 Chapel Hill Rd, Durham, NC 27707

10:30am - 6pm Tue-Sun.

Art Post 

718 Iredell, Durham NC 27705

Starting Monday, Sept. 30th

Open Monday-Saturday 12-6pm

Maverick’s Smokehouse and Taproom

900 W Main Street, Durham NC 27701

*on street parking and free parking available in Brightleaf Square Lot*

Sunday 11am-9pm

Monday-Tuesday 11am-2pm

Wednesday-Thursday 11am-9pm

Friday-Saturday 11am-11pm

+ Raleigh, NC: 

RUMAH 

415 Hillsborough St., Raleigh

Drop off during events. See calendar on website raleighmutualaid.info

Triad Area

Taking donations over the next few weeks. Accepted Items include: sports drinks, hydration packs, baby wipes, diapers, baby formula, bug spray, sunscreen, plastic utensils, manual can openers, large trash bags, non-perishable foods, cleaning supplies, plastic sheeting/tarps, toothbrushes and toothpaste, toiletries/sanitation items, pet food, hand sanitizer, sanitizer wipes, feminine hygiene products, heavy-duty work gloves and unworn socks. 

+ Greensboro, NC: 

GetOutdoors Pedal & Paddle

1515 W Gate City Blvd., Greensboro NC

AND: 

241 Summit Avenue

11am - 1pm Tuesday-Friday

+ Lewisville, NC: 

The Coffee Mill 

6275 Shallowford Road, Lewisville, NC

Charlotte Area:

+ Concord, NC:

Drop offs for Operation Airdrop at Walmart Parking Lot

5825 Thunder Rd NW, Concord, NC 28027

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive (Archive.is link on this page if you can't access the original source)

By Iris Gorfinkel

The lack of masking in health care facilities will needlessly spread disease. As in past autumns, cooler weather will bring a spike in flu and cold viruses while kids in Ontario have settled back into crowded classrooms and COVID-19 threatens to reach a 3-year peak, writes Iris Gorfinkle.

Imagine you — or a vulnerable loved one — needs urgent medical care. If you’re lucky enough to have a family doctor, you head to their clinic. Like most, yours is housed in a building with low ceilings and little air filtration. You enter the waiting room where several patients sit shoulder-to-shoulder waiting.

You have no choice but to sit alongside people sneezing, coughing and blowing their noses. Few if any, patients and health care workers are wearing a mask. While grateful for the hand sanitizer on offer, you begin to wonder if that will be enough to prevent your picking up an infection you hadn’t anticipated.

It’s an all-too-familiar scenario.

The most common reason people see a GP is to assess an upper respiratory infection. They most frequently start after inhaling infected droplets or aerosols or from having touched an infected surface.

An N95 or KN95 mask helps block transmission, whether it’s SARS CoV-2, influenza or a common cold virus like RSV. They’re not perfect, but they reduce viral transmission by 30 per cent. Yet in spite of their benefits, most health-care workers and patients no longer routinely mask, even during assessments requiring close contact with an increased risk of disease spread.

Many of my most vulnerable patients are keenly aware of the potential health risks this presents. Yet most say nothing and would never dream of asking their clinician to wear a mask.

There are sound reasons for this.

The first has to do with long wait times. A visit to the specialist is a precious commodity that cannot be risked. Several months pass before patients are seen, raising the urgency for care.

This is only the first of many factors to come that can silence even the most assertive of patients.

Many don’t want to appear disrespectful by asking their health-care workers to mask. They fear being labelled “difficult” or “demanding” and become distressed at the prospect of questioning their clinician’s judgment, even if it should put them in harm’s way.

Patients become more passive when burdened with the anxiety, dread and fatigue that accompanies illness. Deep-seated fears are ignited that further increase the dependency on health-care workers and squelch any remaining likelihood of their requesting that their clinicians mask.

Masking policies in health-care facilities don’t have to be all-or-none edicts. Patients who are hard of hearing often benefit when they’re able to read lips. Both patients and health care workers sometimes struggle because of anxiety. Young children may not co-operate, and there are people who simply cannot — or will not — tolerate them.

These are special cases though, not the rule. Smart policies in health care facilities need to have latitude for such exceptions. But tightening the policy on masking also recognizes that SARS CoV-2 is a stealthy virus.

One-in-three people infected have no symptoms yet can still transmit COVID-19. It can result in serious physical and mental harms that last 3 years and possibly longer following the initial infection. Since the start of the pandemic to the end of 2023, long COVID has affected 6 per cent of adults and 1 per cent of children.

Vaccines don’t lower viral transmission. Where they shine is at lowering the severity of cases and keeping Ontario’s hospitals from being overwhelmed, but they’re poor at reducing mild cases. It’s short-sighted to gamble on the hope that future vaccines will prove any different.

What’s more certain is that the lack of masking in health care facilities will needlessly spread disease. As in past autumns, cooler weather will bring a spike in flu and cold viruses while kids in Ontario have settled back into crowded classrooms and COVID-19 threatens to reach a 3-year peak.

The duty of care doesn’t land on patients. It’s the clinicians’ job to ensure patients don’t pick up an unintended infection. Patients have a right to safety in health care facilities. In the meantime, I can only advise my concerned patients to wear an N95 or KN-95 when in health care facilities and suggest they not be shy when asking clinicians to do the same.

[seafoamreadings]

week of may 19th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: the increasing gemini vibes are a little more flirtatious and flippant than the preceding taurean vibes and this probably suits you well. just be careful that, with mars also in your sign, you're not getting too impulsive or wild.

taurus: that's about it for taurus season. the planets start to shuffle into neighboring gemini. but don't despair; the party is over but the material blessings continue to rain upon you, or they start if you haven't had them yet. it's like extra birthday gifts. jupiter there for the next long while blesses your finances too - assuming you're spending only responsibly. try not to overindulge.

gemini: the sun and the benefics light up your sign starting this week, in a parade of good vibes and good fortune. many wonderful things will come to you in the coming days and weeks, especially with jolly jupiter in the mix. just be advised that anything you've outgrown will leave forcefully if you don't part ways willingly.

cancerians: before a mass ingress into your 12th house there is a highly psychic, very dreamy jupiter-venus-neptune interaction at critical degrees. this can bless any travel you are planning, any long distance relationships, and your friendships overall. although neptune can be deceitful or at least illusive at times, the presence of the benefics make this a sort of magic that you can access easily and with mostly just good results. then prepare yourself to do some good shadow work once the 12th-house party starts!

leo: for everyone, the influx of gemini-ness is increased sociability and informational flow. for you especially, this is great for your networking and friendships. if you've been feeling a bit drab or lonely lately, this week brightens things up and puts you in places to be fawned over, if that's your thing, or at least appreciated if it's not so much.

virgo: a huge boost to your reputation can be intentionally kicked off from this week and then can coast on the momentum of jupiter in gemini for the next year or so. update your public image, get some nice photos done, shake the right people's hands... even if that makes your inner germophobe a bit squeamish. you can bring hand sanitizer.

libra: gemini season should be a blast for you and the social butterfly that you (at least sometimes) are. and jupiter in gemini for the next year-ish blesses any academic pursuits you wish to embark on, any long distance travel you've been dreaming of, and your spiritual life, if that's your cup of tea.

scorpio: a benevolent pileup in gemini is certainly one thing, possibly enhancing your intimate life or enriching any magical practice. but the overall tone of the week is underwritten by a pulsating, watery, psychic power. and you don't even have to really try to benefit from that. your natural charisma is just off the charts.

sagittarius: gemini season is always nice for you if you are the sort who can stand to be partnered up long-ish term. but starting from this week you have a good long jupiter transit of your 7th house as well. and this will bless such partnerships in really big ways. more temporary, venus there helps out too!

capricorn: if you're the type to do new year's resolutions it's a good time to take stock of how you've been doing regarding your routines, habits, and day-to-day life. honestly, even if you ignore the new year, this is a good time for it. and at any rate it's also a great time to rescue a pet !

aquarius: gemini season plus venus and jupiter in gemini is fun season for aquarians. jupiter in particular gives big fun, creative vibes to you for months to come. however, jupiter (and venus) in your 5th house can be *highly* fertile - you will be reaping what you sow, so it's a time to be a little bit careful what you wish for and also to have fun with some caution - otherwise it might go overboard in some way.

pisces: gemini season has most people feeling social and talky. for you it may be more of a homebody vibe. this is all well and good as long as you have made your home a sanctuary to rest and recharge in, and a place that you truly love.

[stark-ironman]

Firefighter AU: Intro

18+ NO MINORS

Warnings: drinking, unprotected sex (wrap up), alcohol consumption, daddy kink, light slapping, choking, dirty talk, praise kink, oral (f recieving) friends with benefits

A/N: Hello everyone! While writing part 3, I decided to write how Tony and the reader became friends with benefits but they're more so on the lines of lovers. I hope you enjoy and please if you have ideas for this series, send them!!!

Masterlist

"We finished cleaning and sanitizing everything, Cap." Natasha says as she leans against the doorway. "Alright, thank you. You and Rhodey can go home. It's getting late." You tell them as she nods and walks off. A deep breath falls from your lips as you lean back in your chair, rubbing your eyes.

*Knock, knock*

"Need a ride home?" Tony asks from the doorway. "I was fixing to call an Uber, actually." You say pulling your phone out but Tony snatches it out of your hands. "Hey-" "No. You're not going to call an Uber. Not with how many crazy people are out there and especially with how late it is. Come on, I'll stop for a burger and shakes." He lightly sings that last part. "How do I know you're not a crazy person?" You ask standing up. Tony smirks, "You don't."

------

"Now see, wasn't that so much better than the Uber ride?" Tony asks when he parks his truck in your driveway. "Yes Tony, you was right." You chuckle and roll your eyes as you grab your stuff. "Want to come in for a drink? It's been a while since we've caught up on life." You ask. "Do you have whiskey?" He questions. "You know better than to ask a question like that." You joke as you get out the truck.

Tony walks close to you and shuts the door when he walks in, heading straight for the kitchen. "Alright. Got the whiskey and the glasses." He says walking back in and setting them down on the coffee table and sitting beside you. You pour the whiskey in both glasses, handing one to him and sitting back on the couch. "Luckily we're both off in the morning so we can nurse our hangovers." Tony says as you both down your drinks and pours another one.

"You act like we're going to be okay for night shift." You chuckle as you both fall into a small conversation.

------

After a couple hours and drinking a whole bottle of whiskey, you're laying down on the couch with your legs over Tony's lap as the movie you're watching goes off. "I think I'm fixing to try to go to bed. Care to join?" You ask. "I figured I was going to sleep here on the couch tonight." Tony slurs a little, looking over to you. "This couch is no where near comfortable to sleep on. Come on, I don't bite. Unless you want me to." You wink, feeling brave because of the whiskey.

"What if I want you to?" Tony asks as he bites his lip. "Depends. I only bite when I'm feeling really good." You sit up and watch a blush slowly creep on his face. "I can make you feel really good." He chuckles as he leans in closer to you. "Then what's stopping you?" You lick your lips. "I don't think you could handle me, hon. I get pretty rough in the bed." He whispers. "Sounds like my kind of man then." You whisper back as his lips touch yours.

Tony stands up and picks you up, wrapping your legs against his waist and he stumbles over the the wall, pressing you against it and kisses you deeply. You run your fingers through his hair, hearing him moan softly while he takes your shirt and bra off. "Fuck, you're so beautiful." He moans kissing you again as he walks down the hall.

You gently get down from his waist and grab his shirt, pulling it off quickly as you latch your mouth onto his chest, leaving little love bites up his chest and neck before kissing him again. Tony pushes you back on the bed and you moan as you feel his hard bulge pressing against your clothed heat. He grinds slowly against you, attacking your mouth with his tongue then moving down your body.

His hands wrap around your breasts as he takes one nipple in his mouth, sucking softly on it before biting down on it and making you yelp. "Do I need to stop?" He asks looking up at you as he moves to the other one. "No! Feels good." You moan as your hands find his hair again while he repeats the same thing on the other side. "Don't be afraid to stop me, darling." He says moving further down and sliding your clothes off.

"Fuck. Look so beautiful for me, baby. Such a perfect little pussy for me." Tony moans as he lays on his stomach and slowly kisses up your thighs. You whine as he takes his time and he chuckles. "What's wrong baby? Tell me why you're whining." He smirks and you feel his breath over your hot, wet heat. "Need you... quit teasing." You whimper. "How bad do you need me, hon?" He asks as he touches the tip of his tongue on your clit.

"Mm- real bad daddy." You moan and hear his breath hitch. "Call me that again, you dirty little slut." Tony commands as one of his hands travels up and slaps one of your breasts, gently. "Need you, daddy." You moan again as he closes his mouth around your heat, his tongue attacking your clit as his other arm holds you down.

He brings the hand that just smacked your breast back down towards him, sliding a finger in when he sucks on your clit. "Shit, Tone." You pull his hair, throwing your head back. "Not my name, baby." He mumbles before resuming. "Sorry, daddy." You say as he adds another finger.

Your back arches as you gasp, feeling that familiar feeling creeping up on you. "I'm fixing to cum.." You moan, pulling his hair. He hums against you as he slides a third finger in, making you twitch and pant under his arm as your orgasm quickly washes over you. "Open your eyes, baby." Tony commands and you look down to see him focusing on you. He sits up but keeps his fingers inside of you, kissing you deeply as you finish riding out your high.

"Such a good girl for me. You take my fingers so good." He praises as he pulls them out, bringing them up to your lips and you suck your arousal off his fingers, making him moan. Tony pulls his pants and briefs off, kissing you again as you reach down to grab his dick, giving him a few pumps.

You gasp at how big he is and he smiles. "I'll go slow to begin with." He reassures. He grabs his base and plays with your opening with his head.

"Shit. I don't have a condom, honey." He curses. "It's okay. I'm on birth control and I haven't been with anybody in months." You say. He nods saying, "I haven't been with anybody either and I don't think after this I want to be." Tony slides in slowly, throwing his head back in pleasure when he feels how you squeeze him. "Shit, baby. Taking me so good already." He moans when he bottoms out.

"Fuck.. it's big, daddy. Stretching me so good." You moan, arching your back. A smirk appears on his face as he starts moving, slowly. "Come on, Tone. Quit teasing." You whine again. "Tell daddy what you want, baby." A soft command but you know he's doing it so you're a screaming, crying mess. "I want you to fuck me, daddy. You said earlier you was rough in bed but I'm starting to think it was all talk." You spit out, looking in his eyes as you push his buttons.

His eyes go dark and he smirks, grabbing behind your legs and pushes them down to your shoulders. "You want rough, fine. I tried being nice." He snarls as he starts pounding into at a brutal pace. Moans fall from your lips as you try to grab his shoulders for leverage, dragging your nails down his arms when you can't hold on. "Just a fucking dirty whore for me, aren't you?" Tony grunts. You moan and don't answer, resulting in a sharp smack against your thigh. "I asked you a question or am I fucking you dumb?" He growls and wraps a hand around your throat. "I'm a whore for you, daddy. Only you." You choke out as he squeezes down.

The sound of both of your moans fills the air and you look up at him, watching the sweat drip down his neck and chest, his head thrown back in pleasure as he moans and you can't help but feel a swelling in your chest seeing him like this.

You're fucked. You know you are. You're both drunk and this is a one time thing. He can't know that you've just fallen in love with him after seeing the pleasure on his face, all because of you. No one's ever praised you the way he has. They've never worshiped your body or made you feel as good as he's making you right now.

Tony looks down at you, smiling at how fucked out you look and he pulls out, putting you on all fours. You grip the headboard as he snaps his hips against you, moaning loudly as he grips your hips tightly, pounding into you at a brutal but pleasurable pace.

"Fuck, Tony. I'm fixing to cum." You moan, cursing to yourself when you realize you called him by name. "It's okay, hon. Cum all over my dick." He says as he angles his hips better, making sure he's hitting your sweet spot.

You yelp, feeling a rush again and you swear you can feel gushing in between your legs but you pay it no mind as you grip the headboard tighter. "Fuck, there you go baby. Squirt all over my fucking dick. Show daddy how much he pleasures his little whore." Tony moans as his movements start to stutter and he pulls out, releasing all over your back.

You collapse on the bed, drifting in and out and can hear Tony saying something but you can't understand him. He walks out of the bedroom but comes back shortly after, picking you up and takes you to the bathroom, sitting you in the tub. You grab his hand, pulling him down and he crawls in behind you, letting you lean against him.

"Here, drink some water." He says holding a bottle up to your mouth. You drink some and notice he's set some fruit out on a table beside the tub. "Thank you, Tones." You mumble, leaning back into him. "No problem, hon." He wraps his arms around you.

"What happens now, Tony? We don't have time for a relationship but I don't want to lose you." You ask. "You will never lose me and until we can straighten out our lives, we could be friends with benefits if you want." He says. "Good because you're the only person I want to fuck." You chuckle. He laughs and says, "Yeah, you're the only one I want too."

"So friends with benefits. Deal?" You ask. "Deal." He agrees.

[callsigns-haze]

So you're the neighbour?

Pairing: Slate x shy!reader

YN, a quiet new tenant, meets Slate who isn't so much like her roommates said, charming but notorious neighbour, who seizes an excuse to walk her home, sparking curiosity and unexpected warmth in their budding connection.

Chapter Warning: Contains mild language and flirtation.

You're curled up on the corner of the couch, fingers wrapped around a mug of chamomile tea, listening as Rory and Quinn take turns venting to Reid about the new neighbours. The place feels so much like it did in those cozy shows— the three of you squished together in the mismatched furniture you all pooled money for, the warm tones of fairy lights draping the walls, and the faint scent of Rory's floral candles mingling with Quinn's citrusy hand sanitizer.

“Those idiots blocked our moving truck, Reid!” Rory huffs, crossing her arms and leaning forward as if the proximity makes her point stronger. She’s clearly the most riled up, her voice rising in indignant pitches. “Who even parks like that?”

“Definitely jerks,” Quinn jumps in, raising an eyebrow as she looks over at Rory, as if egging her on. “I mean, how self-centred do you have to be to not realize there’s a giant moving truck behind you?”

You weren’t outside to see the whole ordeal; you'd been buried inside your new bedroom, unpacking boxes and finding space for all your things in the tiny closet. Still, even though you’d missed the confrontation, you’re quietly enjoying the picture they’re painting — a dramatic scene of feisty glares, whispered insults, and exaggerated gestures toward the oblivious guys next door.

Reid, meanwhile, leans back on the armrest, trying and failing to suppress a smile. He's always been a little too amused by Rory and Quinn’s fiery personalities, and now isn’t any different. His gaze shifts to you as you sit, nibbling on the inside of your cheek, debating whether to say something. You want to stand by your friends’ annoyance, but you can't help but think there might be another side to it.

“I mean… maybe they didn’t notice?” you offer softly, looking down at your tea. “It could’ve just been a mistake.”

Quinn raises an eyebrow at you, playful but unconvinced. “You’re way too nice, you know that?”

Rory sighs dramatically, throwing her hands up. “Exactly! That’s why you weren’t out there with us. You’d have been like, ‘Oh no, I’m sure they’ll move it soon,’ and we’d be stuck waiting even longer.”

You blush, glancing over to Reid, who’s now grinning in earnest, clearly entertained by the way you’re trying to defuse things. “What? It’s… possible,” you mumble, feeling your cheeks warm under their teasing. “Maybe they’re just, you know… not used to sharing a driveway?”

Reid chuckles, his gaze softening. “You’re seriously too cute for this world, you know that?” He shakes his head, still smiling as if he can’t believe anyone would defend complete strangers who’d clearly disrupted the day.

The others laugh, too, albeit a little grudgingly, as if your gentleness and hope for the best might actually rub off on them despite themselves. Rory reaches over, patting your knee. “Fine, we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, this time. But only because you’re too sweet to argue with.”

Rory stretches her arms overhead and glances at Quinn, who’s tapping her phone, probably searching for a new café to hit up. “Alright, who’s up for coffee?” she asks, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Reid’s buying!”

Quinn elbows him with a smirk. “You heard her, Mr. Moneybags. You’re treating.”

Reid rolls his eyes, but a smile plays at the corner of his mouth as he pulls his wallet out, flipping it open. “Lucky me,” he says dryly, though his tone has a playful warmth.

Rory turns to you, a hopeful grin on her face. “Come on, YN, get out of this cave with us.”

You hesitate, wrapping your hands tighter around your now-cold mug. “Oh, I… I actually need to study,” you say, doing your best to sound genuinely disappointed. But it’s only half-true. You do have some reading to catch up on, but really, you just need a little time to recharge after all the unpacking and the roommates' high-energy complaints.

Rory gives you a knowing look, but she just shrugs. “Suit yourself,” she says, though there’s a hint of motherly concern in her eyes, one you’re all too familiar with.

Quinn’s already zipping up her jacket, rolling her eyes fondly. “Classic. Our little introvert needs her quiet time.” She taps the top of your head gently, an affectionate gesture that makes you smile despite yourself.

It’s a bit of a running joke in your apartment. Rory, ever organized and a little bossy, has long been deemed “the mom,” while Quinn, who often takes a rougher, more sarcastic approach, is dubbed “the dad.” Which, of course, makes you “the kid,” a label you don’t mind — at least not when it’s given with such obvious affection.

As the three of them head to the door, Rory calls out over her shoulder, “Alright, kiddo. Don’t cause any trouble while we’re gone.”

Quinn leans against the doorframe, giving you a mock-stern look. “No boys allowed. And definitely no hanging out with those awful neighbours.”

You roll your eyes, laughing despite yourself. “Promise, Dad,” you say, playing along.

Reid laughs as he gives you a small wave, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “See you later, YN.”

“Bye Reid.”

With that, they’re gone, and the apartment is quiet once again. You breathe a sigh of relief, settling into the silence. It's peaceful, comforting even, just you and the gentle hum of the fridge in the kitchen, the distant sounds of laughter and footsteps down the hall.

Finally, you can relax, letting the little escape of solitude settle over you like a blanket....

You sink back into the couch, legs stretched out over the cushions as you settle deeper under your blanket. The soft glow of the TV fills the room, the familiar characters and storyline offering a cozy sort of distraction. It’s one of those comfort shows you’ve seen a hundred times, the kind that lets you just relax without thinking too much. You pull your blanket up to your chin, feeling the quiet warmth of the empty apartment.

Just as you’re starting to drift into the story, your phone buzzes with a text from Rory.

Rory: “Hey, kiddo, can you take the trash out? Pretty please? :)”

You sigh, casting a glance toward the trash bag sitting beside the front door, already tied up and ready to go. Typical Rory — somehow managing to organize the place even when she’s not here. You sit up, reluctantly pulling yourself from the couch and shivering a little as the cool air hits you. Slipping into an oversized jumper, you tug the sleeves down over your hands, enjoying the extra warmth. Next come your trusty old Uggs, their plush lining cozy against your feet. You grab the trash bag and twist it in your hand, holding it at arm’s length as you make your way to the front door.

The hallway is quiet, and you’re grateful for it as you shuffle to the elevator at the end of the corridor. The trash bag swings lightly as you walk, its weight surprisingly heavy with the remnants of unpacking — empty boxes, crumpled paper, a few random food containers you’d forgotten about until today.

You press the button, waiting as the ancient elevator creaks its way up. The doors finally slide open with a reluctant groan, and you step inside, hitting the ground floor button. The elevator jolts to life, shuddering slightly as it descends, the fluorescent light overhead flickering ominously. You’ve never trusted this elevator; it feels like it’s one bad day away from breaking down entirely, and each ride is a gamble.

As you ride down, you lean against the wall, watching the floors tick by slowly, each number lighting up with a faint glow. The trash bag feels heavier with each floor, and you’re suddenly eager to be done with this task.

Finally, the doors open with a rusty whine, and you step out, making your way toward the large apartment bin outside. The night air is cool, a slight breeze tugging at your sleeves as you approach the bin.

As you toss the trash bag into the bin, you take a moment to breathe in the cool night air, letting the silence settle around you. Just as you’re about to turn and head back inside, a voice sounds behind you.

“Hey,” the voice says, low and casual.

You jump, spinning around, heart pounding as you clutch the front of your jumper. Standing just a few feet away is a tall guy with a relaxed smile, his hands shoved into the pockets of a well-worn hoodie. His dark hair falls messily over his forehead, and his eyes have a sharp but easy-going glint to them.

“Whoa, sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, raising his hands in a placating gesture. His smile softens, a little apologetic but amused. “Didn’t think anyone else would be out here this late.”

You offer a small, awkward laugh, still catching your breath. “No, it’s… it’s fine. Just, um, wasn’t expecting anyone.”

He nods, giving you a quick once-over. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. New here?”

You nod, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, I, uh, just moved in.”

He nods, taking that in with a thoughtful look. “Nice. I’m Slate, by the way,” he says, holding out a hand. His voice has an easy warmth to it, and you find yourself relaxing a bit.

You give a small smile as you take his hand, his grip warm and surprisingly gentle. “YN.”

“YN,” he repeats, as if testing the name. “Cool. So, you’re the new neighbour, then?”

It takes you a second, but realization dawns slowly. He’s one of them — the infamous boys your roommates have been complaining about nonstop since you moved in. The ones who blocked the moving truck and left your friends fuming. You blink, a little taken aback, and can’t help a flicker of curiosity as you study him a bit more closely. His expression is friendly, almost inviting, and he seems far too laid-back to match the image your roommates painted.

“You… you live on my floor?” you ask, a little wary.

Slate’s face lights up in recognition, and he lets out a low laugh. “Ahh, so you’re the one with the roommates who were throwing death glares at us the other day?”

You bite back a smile, nodding. “Yeah… they weren’t too happy about the whole moving truck thing.”

He rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish grin crossing his face. “Yeah, I figured Knoxie might’ve been in the way, but… well, sorry about that. He's sorta moody.”

You shrug, feeling a little of your earlier apprehension melt away. “It’s okay. They, um… they just tend to get a little intense about stuff.”

Slate laughs, nodding. “Good to know.” He pauses, glancing back toward the building. “Well, welcome to the building, YN. Guess we’re neighbours.” He flashes you a grin, and you can’t help but smile back, feeling a strange mix of nerves and intrigue.

As Slate starts to walk away, he pauses, glancing back over his shoulder. “Hey, are you heading back in?”

You nod, feeling the slight chill of the night air sinking in and grateful for the thought. “Yeah. Just… finished up with the trash,” you say, gesturing vaguely toward the bin.

“Well, come on, then.” He falls into step beside you, hands in his hoodie pockets, a relaxed smile on his face as you walk toward the building’s entrance.

The two of you step into the quiet lobby, and you press the button for the elevator, feeling the lingering warmth of his presence beside you. The silence between you is oddly comfortable, and you catch yourself stealing glances at him from the corner of your eye, trying to piece together the neighbour your friends have built up into a villain. He looks nothing like the “jerk” they made him out to be. In fact, there’s a boyish charm to his expression, something almost disarming. He look...cute.

As you both wait, an older woman approaches from down the hall, pulling a small cart loaded with grocery bags behind her. Slate notices her at the same moment you do, and, without warning, he reaches out, his hand warm and firm as he grabs your arm and tugs you gently but insistently toward the stairwell door.

“Uh—what are you doing?” you ask, trying to keep up as he guides you to the stairs, his grip firm yet careful.

He just chuckles, pulling open the door to the stairwell. “Trust me, I don’t think we’d survive that elevator ride.”

You glance over your shoulder toward the elevator, watching the woman slowly approach, and it clicks. It’s an old elevator, slow and cramped; it’s likely you’d end up stuck in a painfully long, silent ride with a stranger if you’d waited.

You narrow your eyes at him, intrigued and slightly amused. “So that’s it? You just don’t like crowded elevators?”

He shakes his head, a glint of something mischievous in his eyes as he gestures for you to go first down the stairs. “Honestly? It’s just an excuse,” he says, his voice soft but playful as he follows behind you. “Figured if I took the stairs, I’d get a bit more time talking to a pretty face.”

You feel your cheeks warm, caught off guard by his words. A smile tugs at your lips, and you glance back at him as you descend the first few steps. “Is that so?”

He shrugs, the same easy-going smile on his face. “What can I say? I’m not about to pass up an excuse to walk a neighbour home.”

@azsazz I loved your book soooo much hope you enjoyed this little write up!

[xantchaslegacy]

Keen Sense and Curiosity

Some more Phyrexia happenings; check out the story on Ao3 too if the spirit moves you ;)

The cavern was empty.

As empty as any place could be on a plane where even metal lived, and tunnels of living flesh laced through the world from surface to core, and back again.

Walls of matte metal enveloped the cavern, carved smooth in some places by patient hands, and elsewhere patched with stretches of rougher-hewn, and more frequently, unhewn steel. Pools of varying depth and size blotched the cavern floor, brimming oily fluid; a mixture of effluvia that seeped in from the Hunter’s Maze above, and runoff from the labs that pumped in through meat-pipes from the Surgical Bays below.

The liquid churned, filled the air above it with the thick scent of life. It glowed, reflecting the false sunlight of the Hunter’s Maze that shone through tunnels of mirrored steel, flooding the space with a placid light. The fluid hummed in many low notes, a liquid choir that sang, just then, for no-one.

Even absent the creatures of Phyrexia, the cavern was active.

Active, but empty.

Two predators stalked into the cavern.

Glissa and Vorinclex prowled through the space. Side by side, elf and hulking praetor, scanning for danger by sight and smell and sound. Watching each others’ flanks with the practiced instinct of packmates.

Glissa tapped her scythe against the porous steel of the cavern.

Nothing of concern, as far I sense.

Vorinclex growled, low, and lumbered forward.

I smell nothing alarming. Stay alert.

Glissa sniffed her concurrence and fell back to the shadows, watching her companion as he went.

Phyrexia’s tongue was efficient, but the language of beasts had a guttural elegance that script and speech wanted for. That the "civilized" coveted.

Vorinclex sniffed the air once. Twice.

“Prawn.”

Speak of the devil .

Jin-Gitaxias strode into the cavern through a rounded tunnel that sloped upward from the Surgical Bays. Two chrome-capped cronies accompanied to him, chattering in their sanitized tongue.

“Hm.” Jin turned his head at the sight of Vorinclex. “You aren’t tardy.”

“As agreed.” Vorinclex’s voice, guttural even when he displayed the full and disarming range of his articulateness, rolled from his throat at a growl in Jin’s presence. “Brave of you to saunter out of your sterile little bunker.”

“As agreed.”

This cavern was a compromise of a rendezvous. One of many pockets between the Hunter’s Maze and Jin’s Surgical Bays that had formed as a semi-organic side effect of the intentional terraforming that had created the layers of their new Phyrexia.

The place had proven of interest to both factions so far, exacerbating the developments of predators in the vicious swarm, and (by the accounts of the Progress Engine) expanding the scope of Jin’s research with equal explosiveness.

It was one of the precious few, if not only, places in Phyrexia where the Vicious Swarm and the Progress Engine dwelt in equal measure, and felt equally comfortable.

Or equally un - comfortable, Glissa mused . Depending on who’s around.

“Vorinclex.” Jin-gitaxias’ voice, metallic and self-important, rang through the chamber like a bell. “It is surprisingly civilized of you to leave your attack dog behind.”

G lissa only sneered from the shadows at that. It was impossible that Jin-Gitaxias did not now she was there.

Vorinclex snorted. “We are praetors. We do not fear to fight our own battles.”

“Battle…? This is a simple trading of knowledge to benefit both our factions in the work to come. I understand if such a complicated notion frightens a simple brute. If you prefer to turn your tail...”

“I would not waste a chance for Phyrexia’s evolution,” Vorinclex spat. “Though I doubt I’ll find anything useful to the Swarm in the body of some sulking cell-scraper.”

“I am equally skeptical,” Jin replied, “that the mass of flesh that transports your meager brain will prove of any interest to our synthesis. Still, Norn will insist we work more collaboratively sooner than later. What she wishes, we must actualize. Better we begin such efforts in advance. In any case, further exploring the opportunities this space has to offer for our experimentation is worth a pointless hour of diversion.”

“Your portion of this space,” Vorinclex corrected. “The properties of these pools will be a boon to accelerate the development of the swarm’s best predators.”

“That is the agreement,” Jin said. “Wasted as it is on you and yours.”

Glissa scowled. The arrogance of the Engine’s Praetor was a sort of grating that only the self-proclaimed “civilized” could manage.

“That is part of the agreement.” Vorinclex prowled closer to Jin along a strip of metal ground that divided two of the pools, and sat up on his haunches, lording the few inches of height his current body had over the other praetor. “Sharing this space. Are you ready to share your secrets as well?”

“For the good of Phyrexia,” he added, smirking with his voice, if not his actual maw. He dislocated his jaw, and spat something at Jin’s feet. A red-white blur bounced once with a dull clatter then lay still on the cavern floor.

A phyrexian’s head and upper body, red-muscled and clad in plates of white porcelain steel.

“A souleater,” Jin observed, in his dispassionate way.

“One of Norn’s,” Vorinclex said, picking at his teeth with a finger on his smaller limbs. “A lurker. She may approve of our cooperation, but I will not suffer her eyes and ears where they have no business.”

Glissa smiled grimly. The cavern had been cleared of members of the Swarm and the Engine alike in preparation for this meeting, in some cases by force. Those efforts had revealed this member of Norn’s Machine Orthodoxy sects, lurking about the sub-layer. She had personally beheaded the agent herself and eaten its body with Vorinclex.

Jin-Gitaxias stooped slightly to inspect the half-corpse at his feet. “Norn will be displeased with her servant’s dispatching.”

Vorinclex licked his chops. “Are you displeased?”

“I serve Phyrexia’s greater ends. I have no opinion on small matters.”

“So it pleases you to come here for Norn’s benefit?”

“There is every chance our Great Synthesis could benefit from this exchange,” Jin replied. His jaws hardly moved as he spoke. Glissa wondered if his vocal chords even required motion of the mouth to communicate, with all the modifications he’d made to his body. “Allow the two most advanced specimens of our respective factions to examine each other and find how our best qualities can be shared between our...separate efforts to advance Phyrexia. It will certainly benefit your blind efforts to learn from us, and Norn will undoubtedly want you operating at a greater capacity than you do now.”

“Our glorious, ineffable leader,” Vorinclex snarled.

It’s good he speaks like that all the time, Glissa thought. Otherwise his scorn for Norn would be a more open secret.

“Our flawless mother.”

Jin-Gitaxias was harder to read. Glissa wished dearly to know what he actually thought of their self-proclaimed ‘mother.’

V orinclex spat into the pool. “ Your flattery would be wasted even if she was here to hear it .” He tilted his head, appraising Jin. “Shall we begin, or would you like to waste more time with words?”

Jin held up a closed hand, then raised a single index finger.

“I will insist on taking my observations first,” he said. “If you can contain yourself that long.”

“Please.” Vorinclex spread his arms wide, and his shadow fell on Jin’s toadies as well as the praetor himself. “Observe. I know you can’t wait to see what a real phyrexian looks like.”

“It is not eagerness, simply concern is that your own clumsy analyses will damage my instruments before I can take your measure.”

Vorinclex huffed, and lowered his arms to his sides while Jin turned to his attendants, who were busy pouring steaming liquid into a basin. Jin dipped his fingers into the stuff.

Sterilizing, Glissa realized. The acidic smell was powerful, even at a distance . Since the Swarm and the Engine had begun making joint use of it, each had introduced elements to the odor of the place, and while the acidic curdle of the Progress Engine's experiment pits did permeate the place, it usually melded queerly well with the more vital, vibrant scents of the Hunter's Maze, making a smell that was inoffensive to a hunter's nose, and even invigorating, at its best.

“So much ceremony,” Vorinclex observed. “I could inspect you twice over in the time it takes to complete your pageantry.”

“At least one of us needs to approach this exchange seriously.” Jin raised his hands from the bowl and began cleaning them on his apron, wiping each digit with a slow meticulousness that seemed maliciously deliberate. He looked to Vorinclex, still squatting on his haunches. “Will you lie supine for me?”

“Guess.”

“Hm.” Jin snapped, and his transcriptors snapped to attention. “Prepare to take notes.”

They chattered in affirmation.

Jin’s hands, those massive, long-fingered things that made Glissa think of blightwidows, began probing at Vorinclex’s shoulders, tracing along the massive spiked plates that protected his upper body. The light scrape of chrome on bone-steel rang like a chime through the cavern.

“Grand,” Jin remarked. “Such ostentatious plumage is likely effective in scaring off other simple beasts, I presume. I doubt our synthesis has much need for...bony shoulders.”

“Still,” he added, “It has a certain animal charm. It suits you.”

"When you find yourselves in the wilderness of a new plane, with nothing but your test-tubes and little needles to defend yourselves against the incomple at , you'll feel different."

Jin made a dismissive *click*-ing sound. "I have faced the strongest among the incompleat and triumphed." his hands trailed down from Vorinclex's bone-spurs and dragged way across his collar and breast. another crisp metallic note sheared the air. "This robust musculature, on the other hand…" His fingers splayed over the chest, probing at intervals with prods that brought soft huffs to Vorinclex’s breath. Jin’s other hand began taking measurements of Vorinclex’s arms, working its way from shoulder to arm to wrist to-

-Vorinclex seized Jin’s fingers, and lifted the arm above his head with a casual tug.

“A practical demonstration,” he growled, cutting Jin off. “Strength like this emerges through the struggle of life against life and death. Something that doesn’t happen in your test tubes and operating tables.”

“Untrue at its premise,” Jin replied, mildly. “In any case, the structure of your muscles can be examined, and reproduced by construction or artificial growth.”

Vorinclex cocked his head by the slightest degree. “I’ll believe it when I see it. How will you learn the structure of my flesh?”

“Our oil and research have yielded have many ways to examine what lies within. Lenses that can see past base matter. Magical tracers injected into the body and tracked with external scanners. However-”

Jin’s finger thinned, a subtle and silent shifting of the metal in his digit that Glissa might have missed if not for her eyes, compleat with a hunter’s acuity.

“I prefer to look for myself.”

Glissa tensed. Jin meant to cut Vorinclex open. She would allow it, of course, so far as Vorinclex was prepared to allow it, but would be ready to spring to his side should the need arise.

Jin, however, simply stood, half hanging by his wrist, looking at Vorinclex with his sharpened digit raised.

“Well?” Vorinclex sounded vexed by the pause. “Will you or won’t you?”

“We civilized people call this ‘waiting for permission,’ Jin said, enunciating the last three words with an insufferable deliberation.

Vorinclex barked a laugh, and released Jin’s hand. “When does the great butcher prawn wait for any thing’s permission? What sort of Phyrexian waits and does not just take what it intends?”

Jin ‘tsk’-ed through grit teeth. “Discourse between praetors should have more weight and social depth than the intercourse of beasts.”

“What do you know about the intercourse of beasts?” Vorinclex shifted, closing the distance between them. “Fine. This is permission to take whatever measures and make whatever cuts you need to slake your idiot thirst.”

“Whatever measures? I will remember that.”

Jin’s blade sank into Vorinclex’ upper arm with a disquieting ease. The muscle there was dense, as Glissa knew from hunting and scrapping with her companion. If the lack of resistance gave Vorinclex any pause, he showed no sign.

Nor did he look bored. He was watching Jin intently as he drew the blade down and lay open the topmost layer of Vorinclex’ skin and steel-twined muscle.

“The musculature...” Jin pulled aside Vorinclex’s hide and sliced deeper into the limb. Red and green and black dribbled in oily clumps from the cut. “...Impressively dense, as expected. Supply. Pliable. The proteins comprising the circulatory system...”

He trailed off, muttering and slicing. His unsharpened fingers working aside the fibers inside Vorinclex. Every few seconds he pulled a needle of silver from his knuckles and sank it into the flesh, marking a spot in the meat. Vorinclex’s gaze followed Jin as he moved down the arm, exhaling to punctuate each piece of Jin that was slipped into him.

"You've let the growth of your organics guide the development of your mechanical components," Jin observed. "A common thread in the Swarm specimens I've explored."

"They work in harmony," Vorinclex replied, as if explaining nursing to a newborn. "These components want to work as one, so there is no need to meddle in the finer details. A creature need only to act, and the instincts of the oil will guide the organic and its modifications to the best natural conclusion."

Jin scoffed. "Without adequate guiding intelligence...without intent, you are wasting time and resources with an uncoordinated approach."

"Oil is intelligence. Where you see only a vector, there is a guiding natural brilliance already present in the oil that outstrips the capacity of any sapient mind. Even yours, prawn. You say I waste resources? I say you waste time trying to bend the direction of an already perfect path to compleation."

“That’s as good as an admission of complacency,” Jin replied.

“It’s efficient use of our energies.” Vorinclex reached down and tapped one of the needles thrust through his upper arm. “unlike this.”

Jin only scowled at that.

After the arm came an incision along the back, then a cut along Vorinclex’ backmost thigh, down to the knee. The muscle within was vivid red and a maroon cocktail of oil flowed down the limb to the ground, where it soaked into the floor and trailed off into the pool behind him.

With every prod and pin from Jin, more of these fluids leaked down Vorinclex’s body in minute rivulets.

Still, Vorinclex stood as high on his haunches as he had at the outset.

“Another beast might have fallen from being cut open in this way,” Jin remarked.

“A lesser beast,” Vorinclex replied.

M ore cutting. More needles. Jin chattered away all the while as he cut deeper and deeper, until his probing found Vorinclex’s internal organs.

“Some actual efficiencies,” Jin murmured, shifting aside steel-mesh sacks and crocus-flesh enhancements, “And more than a few vanity organs that I presume let you play at being king of the beasts.”

“Not a king, just an aspiring apex.”

Jin fell silent after a period of further muttering and poking. His fingers ran the length of Vorinclex’s splayed-open leg, flank, and arm, tracing the patterns of muscle fiber within.

After a minute of this silence, Vorinclex stirred.

“Is something displeasing you, prawn?”

“The lack of something has me...intrigued.” Jin ran his sterilized digits through the fibers of Vorinclex’ arms. “It is known you boast a prodigious healing capacity, and yet I see nothing at work-”

“Watch your fingers,” Vorinclex said, interrupting.

The meat of his arm began joining with a sudden, soft, squirming, sucking noise so low and quick it barely registered to even Glissa’s ears. Jin withdrew his hands, but the closing muscles bunched around the longest of his fingers, and the digit came away trailing a gobbet of Vorinclex’s flesh.

Jin held up the stringy chunk of shuddering meat, turning it over in his fingers.

“A healing that must be triggered consciously. Interesting.”

“A healing that can be subdued intentionally,” Vorinclex cut in, as the rest of the cuts began sealing all along his body. “Aren’t scientists not supposed to jump to conclusions?”

J in ignored the question. “I will take this as a sample.” He held his hand out, and one of the transcriptors scuttled forward, producing a jar with a black seal about its lid. Jin popped the seal off and dropped the meat into the jar. H is minion shuffled back away, nearly tripping as Vorinclex growled at it, spattering the ground with spittle.

Having deposited most of the flesh. Jin wiped the rest from his fingers into a smaller tube, and examined it by the light; a series of metal tunnels reflected the false sunlight of the hunter’s maze down into the caverns; more than generous to see by.

Satisfied by what he observed, Jin tucked the test tube away in a slot in his flank. He spread the remaining smear of oily tissue onto Vorinclex’s arm, along the line of the now-healed cut. His other hand hovered above the healed-over incision on the leg.

“My pins are still inside your-”

“They are mine now. Carry on your examinations.”

“In that case-”

With a deft movement – a pull at the leg and push to the chest so subtle Glissa barely registered either, Jin unbalanced Vorinclex and flipped him into the pool. Vorinclex was too large to submerge fully in the fluid, and he displaced enough of the humming green stuff that Jin’s transcriptors were obliged to shuffle hastily backwards from the splash. Vorinclex let out an angry yelp, but Jin strode into the pool in two smooth steps and, straddling Vorinclex’s waist, grabbed his head in one massive hand. Jin continued vocalizing his examination as if nothing at all had happened.

“These teeth,” Jin murmured, his voice dropping in volume as he leaned in close to examine Vorinclex’ mouth. “Ingenious in form for affecting lethal lacerations in prey, though they are not especially well-rooted. Prone to falling out in the process of your...consumptions, I’d hypothesize.”

“Teeth break,” Vorinclex growled back. “Better to get good use out of them a few times and have a robust body to push new ones into place.”

“Wasteful.” Jin loomed closer. Vorinclex would have a front-row view of the blue praetor’s pristine, regular rows of chrome teeth. “Better something that lasts.”

“How long would it take you to replace those trinkets in your mouth if I savaged you right now? I can push out new teeth in seconds. I don’t need to go crawling back to a lab to replace my fierce parts.”

“You’d break your teeth a dozen times on mine before you even scratched my mouth.” Jin moved his face bare centimeters from Vorinclex’s, as if he meant to test his hypothesis on the other praetor there and then. “So savage away. But not until I’m finished with you.”

Jin’s fingers ran leisurely down Vorinclex’s side, fingers curving around from chest to back, probing his musculature and carapace with minute twitches, before coming to a rest on hips, where groin met thighs.

“Powerful legs. Claws and teeth that could render steel to fragments. You have excelled in your advancements toward animal perfection.” Jin dragged two fingers back up along Vorinclex's flank, the chrome making a surprisingly soft sound as the tips trailed over the metal-shod bone and exposed muscle.

Vorinclex snorted. His voice spoke dismissal of Jin’s comment, but he seemed, to Glissa’s eye, to almost preen at the comment, like a wolf showing off its coat.

“I am testament to the Swarm’s success. We have taken life that once barely subsisted and hobbled along among tangles of rust and created an ecosystem of thriving, ever-improving predators.”

Jin grunted at this newest failure to provoke Vorinclex. It was such an annoyed, base sound that Glissa had to suppress a giggle.

“Regardless of this...low success,” he said after a pause, “I hypothesize there might still be shortcomings in your Swarm.” Jin’s left hand snaked under Vorinclex’s gut, while his right slithered down Vorinclex’s thigh.

“And I would hypothesize those weaknesses might be reflected in your own...form.”

“You’ve seen me inside and out. Look as long as you like, you’ll find nothing resembling weakness.”

“We will see.”

Jin continued to inspect Vorinclex’ chest and neck. He kept up a constant monologue of numbers and measurements, his transcriptors at rapt attention. Neither had materials for writing. Sound recording devices built into their skulls, Glissa mused.

“You will be the first to attempt traversal across planes,” Jin commented after a while. “Our research to date suggests this will be a catastrophically traumatizing experience for your body.”

“I look forward to new hunting grounds.”

“There will be immense pain and an almost complete immolation of your form.”

“Is that all?” Vorinclex affected a yawn. “Good to know. I’ll bring my rubbers.”

Jin grumbled again. “It is regrettable Vrig failed to divine the secrets of Memnarch’s soul-traps...we might have achieved Phyrexia’s interplanar ends without such needless agony.”

Glissa stifled another giggle. It could not have been plainer Jin was hoping the comment would lead for a chance to expand on his tedious science.

“Research and development? Limited?” Vorinclex’s feigned shock was somehow more and not less pointed when growled. “Imagine my surprise.”

“It takes astoundingly little imagination to imagine you surprised,” Jin’s fingers darted suddenly to Vorinclex’s thigh, forefinger and thumb pressing into the veins below the hips.

Vorinclex grunted once. A soft bark that indeed betrayed surprise.

Glissa tensed, again.

“Curious.” Jin’s fingers had paused along the inside of Vorinclex’s thigh. “I would have suspected this organ here might be rendered obsolete by a...properly evolved creature.”

Vorinclex did not squirm. He was too proud, to perfect for such a thing. But he did shift noticeably under Jin’s observation

“Such a novel shape the tissues have taken.” Jin’s hand shifted under space where Vorinclex’ hind legs met. “The Grand Evolution is abundant with its own surprises. This feels like...an advancement of the Crocus blooms, yes? Grafted onto...no...grown from your body?”

Vorinclex did not shy away from Jin’s gaze.

“Some creatures among the swarm yet benefit from physiological stimulation to encourage breeding.”

“It yields rapid generations and equally explosive improvements in biology,” he added, sounding as defensive as an apex predator of Phyrexia could.

“The father of machines disdained such methods of reproduction,” Jin mused aloud. “Much of old Phyrexia did, at least on the nine spheres.” His hand had disappeared up to his first elbow, and it did not escape Glissa’s notice that the fingers on his right hand were running through the fur on Vorinclex’s back, caressing the spine. “‘Grow’ is our watchword. Not ‘breed.’”

“The father of machines failed,” Vorinclex spat. “And perhaps he disdained procreation because he was too preoccupied with writing into the scriptures his own sad failures to acquire the mate he desired.”

“And who have you been mating with?” Jin inquired. “Beasts? Elves? Wurms? I would have guessed you and yours were too busy trying to eat each other and preening your muscles and metal at one another to find time to breed.”

“I will take a sample,” he added, gripping tight onto Vorinclex’ fur.

“Don’t waste breath talking about what you will do. Do it.”

“Mm.” Jin withdrew his hand from the spine with a jerk and a sound like a canvas torn in two, pulling out a clump of spined hairs from Vorinclex’ back.

Vorinclex tensed and growled.

Jin’s other hand came away from between thighs, and Vorinclex jerked this time. Jin held between thumb and forefinger a strip of tissue.

“I presume your healing is as robust in your crocus organs as it is in your muscle?”

Vorinclex rose up, though not to his full height, dripping pool-fluid. “Prodigiously robust. You can inspect closer, if you dare place your head where your hand was bold enough to wander.”

“Regardless,” Jin replied, clinically smug, returning his hand to Vorinclex’ leg. “That the most advanced among the Swarm...the apex of phyrexian evolution, even, would possess such an organ...” He trailed off, and made a series of soft clicking “tsk”s. “I would think that you might think it...weakness.”

Vorinclex lunged toward the edge of the pool. Jin, not expecting the move, was thrown forward and landed in as semi-sprawled position in the shallows. Glissa suppressed a laugh to see the praetor so prone, his little skirt and apron askew about his legs.

“You are losing focus, prawn.” Vorinclex's voice was dangerously low as he prowled forward to loom over Jin. “I am ready to take my turn.”

“Impatient,” Jin clicked. He pulled back the skirt, perhaps to keep it from getting wetter, though it was thoroughly soaked from what Glissa could see. The fluid of the pool also, had shifted in color, while they stood in it, from an acid green to something more like the blue-green light when Lyese and the Eye of Doom both broke the horizon together.

“Worried that I’ll break you?”

Jin hummed, a raspy vocalization of frustration . “Not at all. My concern is that your clumsy pawing will not yield the data your swarm need s to adequately better itself.”

“Never mind my paws, Jin. I have my other ways of taking your measure,” Vorinclex rumbled. His maw thrust forward, to within inches of Jin’s neck. From her place, Glissa could hear his breath. See it steam along the metal of Jin’s jaw.

“A predator can probe by scent and taste alone.”

“Bestial senses,” Jin scoffed. “Your means of analysis are as crude as those you use to advance your evolution.”

Vorinclex responded by placing his forelimb across Jin’s shoulder, pushing him down into the shallows of the pool, and sniffing further down the other praetor’s neck, approaching his shoulder.

“Hm.”

He stopped there, inspecting the metal of Jin’s collar in a slow circuit. Jin seemed unsure what to do with his head as Vorinclex probed, and opted to remain still. Vorinclex moved almost painfully slowly, and Glissa could not help but wonder what was driving this uncharacteristic display of patience.

V orinclex’s breath continues to fog on Jin’s chrome surface as he moved, leaving a misty, matte trail on the shining body that faded quietly as he wandered across Jin’s form .

Jin kept silent for several more minutes as Vorinclex probed further down, inspecting chest and shoulders. Every few seconds he would adjust his fore-paws, never pressing down on one stretch of Jin’s body for too long, but never taking off enough weight to allow him to rise, either.

“How are you recording this?”

Jin’s voice was strained, the already metallic voice reverberating as if spoken through a funnel of steel. Almost as like he’d run a long distance.

Vorinclex paused at the question. He was just then running the edge of his snout along Jin’s elbow, and he made a slow, deliberate trail of Jin’s head as he re-positioned himself to look Jin in whatever portion of his face would best correspond to eyes.

“Recording?”

“Yes.”

“I will remember, of course,” Vorinclex placed a broad paw over Jin’s midsection. Maroon-muscled digits closed around Jin’s silvery, snake-like spine. “An apex’s eyes miss nothing. An apex savors every meal it takes the measure of.”

“You intend to eat me, Vorinclex?”

“If I ate you, Jin-Gitaxias….REALLY ate you, I would not get to see the despair in you when the Grand Evolution crushes your Synthesis, and all the other fool dogmas of Phyrexia under its heel. When all is one with our mighty Swarm, when all are free of sapience and weakness...perhaps on that day I will eat you. But no sooner.”

“But since you brought it up...” Another paw closed around Jin’s corded spine, though Vorinclex kept his weight on his hind legs so his weight did not crush the other. “I can’t think of a better use for you than nutrition to fuel the Great Evolution.”

“Can’t think, that is one among many defects,” Jin rasped. “No imagination. No critical thought. Nothing beyond instinct. Fitting traits for a king of beasts.”

“Your opinion,” Vorinclex growled, shifting forward so his shadow fell of Jin. “Me, I like my current position.”

“You don’t dispute it?”

“I wouldn’t want to waste your time debating with a mere beast.” Vorinclex’ jaw shifted into something only a few would recognize as a smile. “This spine of yours...” He pressed forward slowly, and Jin sank further into the pool, a glowing mix of oil and other fluids washing over him. “Strong. Stronger than it looks. I’ve torn apart wurms with less durability.”

“The result of rigorous research and development,” Jin said, the pride tangible enough that Glissa could detect it even in his metallic monotone. “Not the sort of strength one could just evolve through blind-”

“And yet,” Vorinclex continued, pressing down further. “Even with such a strong support, I suspect there’s no real backbone beneath it. That must be why your posture is so slovenly.”

“Ah-” Jin started to say something, but whatever it was caught in his throat, and instead a low, tinny buzzing noise came from his chest. his fingers found the hollows in Vorinclex’s forearms. The same forearms that held him in the pool. His fingers wove their way into the space, gripping onto the other praetor’s limbs.

“Ah, it looks like I’ve found something.” Vorinclex, if it was even possible, leaned in closer, bearing down on Jin. “This can’t be where air flows through, so I can only assume I’ve hit a nerve.”

“How-ah!” Jin cut off again into more buzzing.

"I'm gleaning more than you know." Vorinclex' hands were almost entirely submerged in the pool, but it was clear from the movement of his arms that he was probing the length of Jin's spine. "I'm intrigued by how you've arranged your nerves to run the length of this tube-body of yours. Incredible use of space, but not without its tender spots…As for your form..you could have a raptor’s grace, if only your limbs were not so inefficient in proportion to-"

Jin’s hand jolted up Vorinclex’s arm, and pressed at a spot just below his jaw, where head met body. Vorinclex’ weight shifted suddenly to one side, and Jin used the momentum to roll the both of them sideways, splashing through the pool, which hummed with tripled vigor.

Jin rolled atop Vorinclex, and for a split second Glissa’s leg’s fell into a crouch in preparation to strike his head from his body-

But Vorinclex, using the sheer advantage of his weight, carried the roll another turn, and pinned Jin beneath him, once again half-submerging his chrome form in the fluid.

They remained that way for long seconds, Jin humming hoarsely, and Vorinclex’s arms tremoring.

“Very clever, little prawn,” Vorinclex said, finally. “All that time spent studying was not entirely wasted.”

“Your evolution has granted you some low advantages,” Jin conceded in his tinny rasp. “I am beginning to re-evaluate my chances of thriving in your death-trap of a home.”

The pool fluid around Jin was slowly turning a more metallic sheen, a mixture of blue, purple, and black metallic. Where it dispersed into the blue-green, it became more muted, but seemed to churn with a thick urgency

"Of course you would not survive in the Maze. Your form has been molded to fit into your filthy operating theatres."

“So I should simply remain in my labs in perpetuity?”

"I didn't say that. You and your meat-molders are more than welcome among the Swarm. I'm intrigued to see how perfect your form could be if you let the oils of the Maze shape you into a true predator."

"You said I would not survive."

"Because you would never embrace it. It isn't in your nature. If you could come down from your chrome pedestal, and hunt and adapt like any other beast, you could be something tremendous."

“You underestimate me.”

“That was never a problem. That you overestimate yourself is.”

“I am capable of cooperation and collaboration, it is others who are too insular or insecure to take full advantage.”

“I’m taking full advantage now, or didn’t you notice?”

“You have lingered unusually long on my spine.” Jin shifted his grip on Vorinclex’s left arm, his fingers moving closer to the shoulder. “It is an unparalleled example of compleation, but I wonder how useful the time you are spending on it is now.”

“Lower then.” Vorinclex shifted his grip, and his attentions, to where Jin’s skirt began. If you insist.”

“‘What is planted below will determine what flourishes above.’”

Vorinclex paused, one of his fore-paws beginning to pull back apron and skirt. “Poetry?” He asked, scorn clear in his growl.

“One of Sheoldred’s prophecies,” Jin replied. He kept a grip on the nearest of Jin’s paw’s. “One I have been pondering at length when my schedule allows. Her counsel and her company have been more useful than seeking cooperation from you or the furnace-rat.”

“Sheoldred.” Vorinclex spat the name as if it had been a bone lodged in his throat. “A waste of your time. If there’s one thing more useless than your science it’s prophecy and soothsaying. The only reality you should care about is the reality of flesh and fangs.”

“They have proven exceptionally useful, her prophecies,” Jin replied, almost sing-song through the grate of his voice. “She has been my most fruitful partner outside the Engine.”

Vorinclex grunted, and leaned further into Jin. The chrome praetor sank another few inches into the pool.

Jin's own arm shifted as Vorinclex's did, his fingers still clinging to the hollows in the other praetor’s arms.

Vorinclex seized Jin’s shoulder in his maw and, with a quick thrust of his head, tossed him further into the pool. Before Jin could even conceive of rising up, Vorinclex was looming over him again, this time with a massive limb planted to either side of the chrome Praetor’s head.

“Enough talk. I’m not done knowing you.”

Keeping his left paw planted, Vorinclex cradled Jin’s head in his right. The muscle of his arm began to distend and lengthen. Moments later, branches of flesh were snaking under and across Jin-Gitaxias. Vorinclex’s lower arms began to distend as well, and resumed the probing at Jin’s legs.

An exasperated sigh escaped Jin as the upper-arm tendrils splayed his arms out, binding his limbs to the ground and tethering b etween his long fingers.

“Silence is a waste. I have plenty of additional data I might gather from observing your clumsy pawing.”

“Speak to your toadies if you wish. I don’t mind your noise.”

V orinclex pulled back Jin’s skirt in one swift motion, and a rip cut through the humming as his skirt tore along one side, revealing sleek legs of chrome.

“The leader of the Swarm is notably and conspicuously preoccupied with my lower anatomy,” Jin said, conspicuously loudly. Louder at least than his trascriptors would have needed him to speak to hear. “His probing, already indelicate, becomes borderline frenetic as his bestial sensory organs take account of the perfection of my form.”

The distended muscles around Jin’s upper body tightened audibly. He did not abate in his monologue, but the fluid around him grew more intense with it’s churning, and deepened in its dark-metallic tint.

“-seems completely capable of processing auditory information, even when preoccupied with pursuits of base interest-”

Vorinclex bared his maw, and something not dissimilar to his distended arm-muscle snaked out. It was not a tongue exactly, as sapient creatures of flesh might understand it, but a sensory organ modeled after crocus organisms Glissa had perfected with compleat frogmites.

Just now, this organ took the measure of Jin’s legs, probing the knit of cable and struts that joined below the waist, extending into chrome-capped knees.

“-searching perhaps for an equivalent anatomy to his own, not appreciating that, unlike the cumbersome designs of the Swarm, creatures of the Progress Engine make use of modular bodily components that may be included or exempted from certain activities based on their applicability to the situation at-”

The tendrils about Jin’s chest began to writhe, and pulled his arms from a T-formation to up above his head, dragging him further up along the bank.

“-ah-”

Vorinclex’s secondary arms moved up again to Jin’s core, leaving the explorations below to the tongue. His palms rested along the segmented coil enveloping Jin’s spine.

“-feeling to measure the reactions of my nervous system to his probing and brutalization. A simplistic approach, but showing more attention to detail than one might expect from-”

Jin’s ankles and feet received more lingering examination. Vorinclex tested the durability of each digit with his snout, pushing them to the extent of their flexibility. The construction of Jin’s heel seemed of particular interest.

“-most likely having discovered yet another anatomical superiority his own faction lacks in-”

Two tendrils wound a spiral around Jin’s neck.

“-a curious maneuver. What sort of response he hopes to elicit is a mystery, as even he must know respiration in a specimen as advance as myself is-”

Jin cut off suddenly as both tendrils slithered into his mouth and down his throat, writhing all along their length as they went.

Vorinclex gave no outward sign he was conscious of what his arms were doing. Glissa had no doubt he was enjoying the opportunity deeply regardless.

The opportunity, and the rasping, muffled sound of Jin attempting to continue his monologue.

Vorinclex brought one of his smaller arms up to the side of his head and tapped around where his sheltered ears lay. He favored Jin with a shrug.

Jin’s muffled attempts ceased suddenly, and a rattling vibration started up in his chest.

“His tactile limbs navigate the obstacles of my internal organs with unexpected efficacy. A lifetime meandering through the unorganized hazards of the Tangle and the Hunter’s Maze have helped develop a low cunning useful for-”

A voicebox somewhere on his body, built into the chest, maybe. Glissa smirked from the shadows. Leave it to Jin-gitaxias to build in redundant systems to make sure no one could ever shut him up.

Vorinclex’s maw had returned to Jin’s midsection as his tendrils lifted Jin’s arcing spine out of the fluid. His tongue traced over each coil of the segmented spinal spikes that fanned out around Jin’s back.

“-that he can carry out so many parallel probings of my form is astounding, especially given the thoroughness. It is of course a shadow of the theoretical network efficiency our faction has already accomplished with the vedalken mindmeld, but nevertheless-”

Vorinclex released his grip on Jin’s spine, but his body remained bent over the surface of the pool, as if straining of its own volition.

“-able to contort my body from within using his tendrils-”

That he can keep rambling on with several tons of muscle and steel shoved down your gullet is incredible enough, Glissa mused.

“-tendrils prove resilient to the acids of my stomach and the abrasive metal components of my internal-”

Tiny offshoots of Vorinclex’s arms, thin fibers of metal and crocus-perfected flesh, w o rked like roots into the crevices of Jin’s upper body. The fluid all around them was properly churning now with the combined effects of their movement and the essences leaking from both of them into the pool.

“-provided his brain is capable of such memorization, the beast should have explored enough of my innards to form a rudimentary map of my major external organs.”

“A fair exchange of information.”

Glissa almost started at Vorinclex’s voice. He’d been silent for nearly a half-hour.

Jin shuddered and tsk-ed. “This is...not equitable...I did not explore you nearly as deeply with my dissections-”

“I can feel your pin-probes working their slow way through me, collecting information,” Jin cut in. “Spare me.” He moved his face closer to Jin’s. “What is your conclusion on my own research technique, hm?”

Jin turned his head. “You were studying my actions. My reactions. Taking note of how I grapple with you, and my stimulus response to your aggression.”

“Obviously. This is how a predator learns.”

“Learning...what use is learning to you?”

“Everything learns.”

“Your evolution is a mindless charade. You mean to tell me you have a use for the scientific process?”

“You misunderstand the Grand Evolution, and you do degrade it by comparing it to evolution writ large. Even at it’s basest, evolution is not a process of becoming the biggest, the strongest, or the most fang-filled-”

“As if any of those things are prized or rare in our Phyrexia,” Jin observed.

Vorinclex made a rasping sound that Glissa knew to be a chuckle. “Evolution simply rewards whatever creature can rut and breed best. What makes a new generation that survives to do the same in perpetuity wins.

“Our Grand Evolution is more than just evolution as the flesh knows it. We see a process failing, we see a useless limb or vestigial encumbrance, and we remove it there and then. A jaw formation fails to aid a predator in its hunting? The jaw must go. A venom fails to kill outright from a single bite? The glands that produce it must be replaced. A creature like you-”

Vorinclex leaned into Jin, his voiced dropped to a strained snarl. "You are s quandered potential. You've coated yourself in such potent metals. Hacked yourself and your septic underlings into such ingenious shapes. But now you languish in front of vats and corpses, those clever bodies untempered and untested against real strength."

J in barely stirred at the commentary. “Your approach is both more scientific and more reckless than I thought. No concern for long-term consequences. Short-sighted and slapdash modifications.”

Vorinclex pulled his head back. “You got me talking again, silver-prawn. You’re such a fool I forget how clever you can be.”

“More flattery than I anticipated.” Jin raised a hand and brushed the side of Vorinclex’s jaw. Vorinclex leaned into the gesture, almost imperceptibly.

“Interesting.” Jin’s hand came away, and he inspected something along the back of his thumb. “Heightened levels of adrenaline, even compared to your baseline.” He wiped the thumb on Jin’s forearm. “I will take samples for my research.”

“Don’t let me stop you.”

Jin half-rose to a seated position, long strands of Vorinclex' arms still draped around his shoulders. He looked to Glissa like one of the vedalken draped in their bulky suits.

With the same hand he’d caressed with, Jin flexed, and the middle finger elongated, thinner than the scalpel-finger had been, until it was needle-fine. One of the transcriptors waded into the shallow of the pool, and affixed a clear container to the back of Jin’s hand.

Vorinclex carried on tasting the air about Jin’s neck and face all the while, arm draped round the other praetor’s back.

As the Transcriptor waded out again, Jin slid the needle into Vorinclex’s collar with a smooth deliberation. A snake slipping into a burrow. Vorinclex showed no overt sign of feeling it, though he kept steady, even as his probing increased in intensity about Jin’s chest. If Jin's instruments were as fine-tuned as he claimed, they were sure to have picked up on the rumble within Vorinclex' chest, mixing with the sounds of the fluids in the pools.

The glass vial on Jin’s hand began to fill.

“Under the fallen father, Phyrexia developed many variations of oil, as you well know.” Jin leaned forward into Vorinclex’s shoulder. “Substances found in the artifacts of planes explored during our many years of exploration, powdered powerstone, the fluids of the many lesser creatures whose bodies we mastered...we produced glands to resist acid and fire, to fuel sleepless hulks and unailable plague vectors.”

A fluid, clear and green-tinted, and laced with golden filament, filled the glass. More still poured into the container at a thick flow.

“The oil is an art we have all benefited from and contributed to. Even you beasts of the swarm.”

“I’ve touched the inside of you, prawn. Your oils are not more impressive than mine, just different.”

“Did you enjoy their taste, Vorinclex?”

Vorinclex laughed – a thundering rumble from his gut.

“I should be asking if you are enjoying the taste of me right now.”

“Ah, yes, I forgot you were in there.”

Jin bit down, hard, severing the tendrils Jin had shoved down his throat.

“Ah-”

Vorinclex pulled his hands up, tearing the thinner cords of sinew and steel. His fore-arms re-formed in full with a sharp, violent sucking sound, and he pounded back down into the pool, dousing them both.

Jin, for his part, vibrated with a grinding noise from inside his chest. His needle had snapped off in Vorinclex’s neck.

“Now that is what I would call fair exchange.”

Vorinclex spat into the water, and stalked back up out the side of the pool, shaking out his coat as he went, splattering the walls and floors with the fluid of their exchange. Jin clambered back up the bank of the pool, reclining with an arm balanced on his knee.

“You’ve ruined my skirt.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a nicer one somewhere.” Vorinclex stretched out his forelimbs. “Was that useful for you, prawn?”

“It was not entirely unproductive,” Jin replied. His transcriptors approached him from behind, still muttering away.

“I could learn even more if we had our entire network of caverns and pools at our disposal.” Vorinclex’s claws flexed. “If you were willing to let me hunt you through the space, I could glean multitudes about how you tick...if such a thing interested you…?”

“Guess.”

“Hmph.”

“A moment.” Jin turned to his transcriptors and, with a single deft swipe of his hand, separated their domed heads from their bodies.

The heads never hit the ground; Jin plucked them out of the air with his other hand, and tucked them into a compartment at his waist. The bodies slumped in place, sagging but standing upright.

Vorinclex sniffed. “Failed in their recording?”

“Succeeded, which is why I will be taking their knowledge into myself. It is an unnecessary risk to have such valuable data wandering around inside beings so susceptible to bribery or abduction. Here-” Jin waved a hand over the bodies, and began collecting the jars and other vials they had assembled. “A gift – you may eat those. I have no more use for their ambulatory parts. These were grown from samples of myself; they can be your consolation prize, since you cannot have me.”

“A waste of resources.” Vorinclex looked down on the bodies with disdain. “Phyrexia is still a closed system until Norn can break through to new hunting grounds. Can’t your research make use of them?”

Jin looked up at Vorinclex, but did not answer right away. He continued to collect the samples the transcriptors had gathered.

“Most likely,” He said at last. “It was only a goodwill gesture.”

“I eat only what is worth being eaten. Those septic corpses are worth nothing.”

“Hm.”

“The exploration of your form is goodwill enough,” Vorinclex rumbled.

“I will offer something else then.” Jin made a strange gesture; a movement of the hand from chest to side. “We are, despite valid criticisms, among the pinnacles of our factions. Your crocus creations-”

“Glissa’s Crocuses. They are the fruit of her labours.”

Jin clicked irritably. “The crocuses are, despite their crudeness, well suited to aiding the sort of newt and germ generation the progress engine has perfected. We might then make children from our respective materials-”

“Yours and mine?”

Jin paused, but Vorinclex pressed on.

“You and me, specifically?”

“It is a proposal with immense promise.”

Vorinclex tilted his head. “I would be...curious to see what comes of it.”

Jin leaned forward, and Glissa imagined for a moment she saw his jaw clench into a smile. “An understandable position. We have this space here, and Norn will approve of anything that could add such potent forces to Phyrexia. If you would only-”

“I won’t,” Vorinclex cut in, with a sudden, unmistakable edge.

“...why?”

“What does it matter ‘why’? I said no.”

Jin hummed in exasperation. “We have already seen great leaps and bounds in our respective factions’ grand designs. Why not join our own materials to see what can be made anew for Phyrexia? Urabrask and Sheoldred have their own project underway, and even the tangle has a fine specimen resulting from your proximity to the Furnace.”

“Norn will have no children of mine.”

"The swarm is already committed to her expansion. To our expansion. What does it matter whether they are of your direct lineage?"

"There is no singular "Swarm" to be committed. Glissa and I don't limit where our hunters range, and I won't deny them whatever killing grounds the Orthodoxy open for Phyrexia. They're free to join Norn's conquests whatever way they please.”

Jin hummed with irritation. “If they are free, then...I ask again, why not-”

“If a phyrexian I spawn chooses, they may follow Norn. If a predator can make itself mightier on the flesh of the planes she wishes to open up, I welcome the chance. If the creatures our factions collaborate on here are meant for her schemes, so be it. What I will not do is personally sire for the sole end of adding to her legions. I won't give my own brood to be her tools. She has you for that, prawn."

Silence. Jin turned away, and busied himself with extracting the vials and other samples from the bodies of his transcriptors, tucking them into a bag at his waist, and several slots along his back.

“It’s a wasted opportunity,” he said at last, not looking up. “This space has already proven useful to our efforts beyond measure. I foresee much great progress being made here.”

“That’s why we were here to-” Vorinclex’s gaze swept the cavern. “Yes. That’s why we agreed to this.”

“I am trying to discover the way forward for all Phyrexia. Not just for Norn’s benefit.”

“Then you should look up from your dissection tables, Jin, and see the world Norn is making with clear eyes, and how you contribute to it.”

“As you do.”

“I know what I am contributing to, and how I am contributing.”

Jin hummed. “I am not ignorant.”

“You don’t have to be ignorant to fool yourself.”

Jin hissed at that, so low it was almost lost in the humming of the cavern, but still he hissed. He turned away from Vorinclex.

From the transcriptor’s bodies, Jin extracted two more vials – long, empty lubes of glass. He waded out into the pool, and knelt.

The fluid was much changed by their activities. From acid-green to blue-green, to something that seemed to Glissa’s eye like colored quicksilver, shimmering form purple to blue to green to black to purple again. It sang a markedly more complex tune now than the humming of the fluid in the other pools.

Slowly, Jin tipped the vials into the fluid and filled them up, stopping each with a plug of gummy black material.

“I will test incubating my next batch of larvae in the fluid from this pool,” Jin said, tucking the vials into compartments in his breast. “It has absorbed some of my own essence, which should at least...counterbalance any defects you might introduce.”

“I’m sure the notion does not make you uncomfortable,” Jin added, somehow baring even more of his teeth than usual. “I do not fear to create life for Norn’s Phyrexia.”

Vorinclex said nothing, but regarded Jin for a few seconds longer.

Then, still without a word, he lowered his maw into the fluid of the breeding pool, and began to drink.

And drink.

Jin just stared. Glissa realized her own breath had caught in her chest.

And still, Vorinclex drank deeply of the stuff, and the humming of the fluid shifted, chords of sound rippling through the cavern as he sucked the glowing stuff up into his maw.

When he at last lifted his head, minutes later, the gaze of every other person in the chamber followed the movement.

He merely licked his chops, and stretched out his shoulders with what Glissa knew to be intentional effect.

“Meager,” Vorinclex noted at last. “But, if I cannot eat you, that’s the next best thing. Maybe you managed to leak a useful mineral or two into the pool.”

Then, with a deliberate grace, he looped out of the pool, leaving Jin to watch him go in silence. Iridescent, humming fluid dripped from his sides onto the spongy metal floor, which soaked the liquid up with a greedy haste.

Glissa smiled at Vorinclex as he rejoined her, then back at Jin, shooting the latter praetor a tight smirk and sneer.

Your scientist has been pleasantly rattled.

Vorinclex grunted.

He’s not mine. And now I’m liable to be sick.

Glissa snorted a laugh.

They began their climb back to the Maze. As the breeding pools disappeared behind them, Glissa patted at Vorinclex’s flank, where Jin had cut into him and delved inside. He rumbled his appreciation, but when she went to wipe the fluid from his jaw, he pulled away.

She let him be. There was much work being done, and yet to be done still. This diversion had certainly been trying enough on its own.

As the light of the Hunter’s Maze began to fill the tunnel, Vorinclex’ tongue slipped out the corner of his mouth.

Almost absently, he began to lick traces of fluid from his chops.

"Keen Sense and Curiosity” is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.

[nenelonomh]

sickness hygiene

living through covid, we all know just how important simple practices like washing your hands are - to protect you from sickness, and save you time and money. it's especially important to know how to clean yourself properly - but often the extent of the benefits is masked. would you have guessed increased productivity as a benefit?

sickness hygiene refers to the preventative hygiene practices that you can implement to protect yourself and others from illness. ailment can significantly impact productivity for several reasons. when you're unwell, physical discomfort affects your ability to focus and perform tasks efficiently. pain, fatigue, and other symptoms can hinder productivity.

of course, when you're sick - it's important to take care of yourself and rest. this post explores preventative measures and benefits. taking care of yourself can help you feel like her. when you prioritize self-care, it positively impacts various aspects of your life.

here are some reasons why hygiene is essential:

disease prevention

contributes to physical health

improved mental and emotional well-being

practicing good hygiene helps prevent the spread of infections and diseases. regular handwashing, proper dental care, and cleanliness reduce the risk of illnesses caused by bacteria, viruses, and other pathogens.

you should wash your hands before and after: preparing food, caring for a sick person, using the bathroom, blowing your nose or sneezing, or coughing, touching an animal, using public transportation, and handling garbage. if you don't have the ability to wash your hands, try to use hand sanitizer.

maintaining personal hygiene, such as bathing, grooming, and washing hands, contributes to physical health. it prevents skin infections, body odor, and other hygiene-related issues.

feeling clean and fresh positively impacts mental health. good hygiene boosts self-esteem, confidence, and overall happiness.

here's some of my favourite, relevant posts:

hand hygiene

oral hygiene

bathing

i hope this post was helpful, and i wish you luck on your journey. ❤ nene

image source: pinterest

[salt-kat]

Mercy NSFW ABC's:

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Hi! Ignore the cringe, Hope you enjoy!!!! <3

Written with AFAB readers in mind!

NSFW content under the cut!!

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Angela is very sweet afterwards. She wants to clean you both up and get some water. If you’re feeling up to it, she would draw you both a warm bubble bath to relax in. She’s very cuddly after sex and wants to be spooning you or being spooned herself. 

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

As basic as it sounds, Angela loves her hands. Her hands are capable of saving lives, typing up medical reports, and pleasuring you. She also has a fondness for her nails. She takes good care of them, trims them, oils them, the whole nine yards. Angela loves every part of you equally, but if she had to choose, she would choose your heart. Being able to lay her head on your chest and hear your heartbeat reassures her that you’re there and breathing. After seeing so much death and losing people left and right, your heartbeat soothes her mind. 

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Obsessed with cum. Yours, her own. She loves making you squirt (If you’re able to). She’s hooked on the flavor and satisfaction of making you cum so hard. She definitely will kiss you after she eats it and vice versa. She actually enjoys tasting her cum on your tongue and fingers.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Angela doesn’t really keep secrets from you. She thinks communication is the key to great sex. The only thing she sorta hides from you is the fact she wants to do roleplay. She really wants to roleplay as her being the doctor and you the helpless patient. She wants to strap you in her lab's medical stirrups and take advantage of your inability to move. Angela wants you to call her Dr. Ziegler as she makes you cum with medical accuracy. She would enjoy slowly fingering you with her gloved, sanitized, cold hands. 

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

She has a normal amount of experience. She’s had a few partners in the past. She’s never been one to sleep around or have one night stands with strangers she just met at a local bar. She’s been with a few women and fewer men. Even though she’s not the most experienced, her knowledge in human anatomy has its benefits.

​​f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

Angela is a simple woman, she loves classic missionary. She definitely enjoys the crazier positions you put each other into, but she loves being able to see your face. Being able to hold eye contact is so important to her. Angela wants to see your expressions as you release. She also has lots of access to your lips, neck, and chest. She definitely leaves tons of hickeys all over your body. 

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Our favorite doctor is usually quite serious during sex. On occasion she’ll let out some giggles if something a little silly happens. She does giggle when yall have makeout sessions. When you first start being intimate with each other she’s a little more light hearted. She doesn’t want the air to feel so tense. She giggles to ease your nerves. As time grows, she enjoys the seriousness of sex.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She’s very well groomed. She doesn’t enjoy shaving due to razor bumps and how fast her hair grows. Angela keeps everything neatly trimmed down there. The carpets do match the drapes. Her pubic hair is a little darker than her natural blonde, it’s more of a honey color. She doesn’t have any preference for what you do with your pubic hair either. 

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very intimate, like sickeningly sweet during the whole ordeal. Angela even prefers to call sex “love making”. Whether you’re giving or receiving, Angela will whisper praises in your ear softly. She enjoys leaving hickeys and kisses in her wake. She even enjoys the cheesiness of rose petals and candles. On special occasions she’ll really ramp up the romance. On these nights, she’ll cook you a nice dinner, split a bottle of high quality wine with you, and serenade you by softly singing love songs in german.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before you came along, Angela masturbated a lot. Most weeks, she got off once a day. Masturbating would ease her mind and body after a long stressful day of saving lives and being on the battlefield. Now that you’re in the picture, she goes to you more often than not if she’s feeling horny. Some nights she’s turned on but too tired to engage in actual sex with you, so she’ll want to do mutual masturbation with her vibrator if you’re up to it. 

​​K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As we know, she has a kink for roleplay and medical play, but she has more. Angela is overall pretty tame and vanilla compared to some of the other heroes. She enjoys being a very soft dom most nights. Our doctor enjoys light bondage, spanking, and overstimulation. She also has a big mommy kink if you can get her to admit it. 

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

Your shared bedroom is at the top of her list. She enjoys the secludedness of it. She doesn’t fear anyone walking in or disturbing her. She’s usually too terrified to have sex anywhere that is not your shared home. She would enjoy fucking you in her doctor’s office if she could assure that nobody would walk in, she would simply die of humiliation if anyone saw you or her. 

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Angela is much hornier than people assume, so honestly anything. It could be you wearing a more revealing outfit that day or something as simple as smiling at her. Overall, obedience really makes her hot under the collar, especially if you call her “mommy” or “Dr. Ziegler”.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don’t see her being into anything really gross or extremely dangerous. She doesn’t want to inflict pain on you at all, the most she would probably do is light choking and spanking. She doesn’t want to share you with others either. The thought of you or her lying with another person disturbs her greatly. 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She enjoys receiving as much as she does giving. Angela has amazing oral skills. You swear she has a magical tongue. She loves when you look up at her through your eyelashes while you eat her out. She also really enjoys you pulling her hair as she feasts on you. 

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time the pace is slow and romantic, she enjoys all the “lovey-dovey” stuff during sex. Every now and then she’ll want to take you rough, frantic, and hard. This only happens if she gets really jealous. On days when work makes her ill she enjoys being tossed around by you. She wants you to fuck the attitude out of her. Slap her thighs, pin her down, and break her back. She needs it!

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not really Angela’s favorite thing. Much prefers longer sessions with you. If she gets really worked up from you being disobedient, she’ll bend you over the nearest table and have her way with you. If you’re attending an evening event and you happen to get mouthy with her, she’ll finger you in the bathroom until you cry. She’ll leave you with shaky legs as you clean yourself up and try to look presentable. 

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experimentation is fun for her. She loves trying out new things to add to the overall experience. As I stressed before, she doesn’t want to try anything that could endanger you though. She’s a little scared of taking risks like doing things in public. Sometimes her risk warning signals turn off in her head if she’s mad enough. 

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 Due to her preferring more drawn out sessions, usually she can do 1-2 rounds. She also usually lasts a bit longer than you do.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Absolutely. She has a chest full of toys under your shared bed. Definitely has toys of all different varieties. Dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, paddles, plugs, beads, you name it. She enjoys using them on you and herself often. Angela is quite partial to toys that vibrate. 

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

This doctor loves to lightly tease you. She would never draw it on too long though. Before she gives you what you want, she’ll lightly trail her fingers through your folds and plant tiny kisses everywhere but where you need her. She herself doesn’t really enjoy being teased too much, so use it sparingly. If you really push her, she’ll get a little mean during sex. Do what you want with that information.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Average in volume. She’s not a screamer, nor is she silent. Angela lets out soft moans and heavy pants during the deed. Right before she cums she’ll whimper quietly in your ear. Only gets noisy if you overstimulate her a lot.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves to pretend to breed you. Among her extensive collection of toys, she does have a dildo that can be filled with fake cum. On nights where she brings this toy out, she really likes putting you in doggy style. There’s something primal in it that does it for her.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Angela has an outie, with pretty pink lips, and a small clit. She has a few beauty marks on her mound and lower stomach area. Do kiss them when you eat it!

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high! If she didn’t have to work, she would roll around in bed with you all day. If you’re both available she’s always ready to go, just say the word. Her sex drive is especially high on her period, so, please fuck her on her period!

​​z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Angela doesn’t fall asleep very fast afterwards. She likes to take care of you both first. After sex she really wants to be as close as possible. Angela will hold you for the rest of the night. She’ll only fall asleep once she hears your breathing steady and your heart rate slow down.

[sarafinaparvez]

The Ultimate ˎˊ-

In this post I share every single step you'll need in order to create a proper skincare routine for both the day and nighttime; as well as extra tips for a variety of skin needs, while also bringing attention to certain steps that may just be optional and those that are necessary for everyone.

Starting with your daytime routine :

Step 1 “Cleanser” :

Cleansing the skin in the morning with a cleanser is *actually* not always necessary (though a good idea in some cases such as if you use hair oils/hair products at night and have acne prone skin) OR in the case of having a lot of residual skincare from the night before, that is sitting on the surface of the skin in the morning. Otherwise it's fine to just rinse the skin with water and pat dry.

Step 4 “SPF” :

The only “mandatory” skincare for the AM is adequate application of Sunscreen. No cleanser or moisturizer necessary (as mentioned above). When applying sunscreen however you want the spf to be able to absorb and penetrate the skin directly as chemical sunscreen filters need to touch the skin to be most effective (it absorbs UV and converts it into heat). This is also why if you do choose to use a moisturizer before sunscreen in the AM (Step 3) it’s best to use one that also contains spf or, pick a moisturizer that is highly absorbent (such as a water based moisturizer) compared to one that is highly occlusive; so that it’s not interfering with the sunscreen penetrating the skin. Reapply as often as needed especially if out doors or in contact with sun exposure (like indoor windows). Every 2 hours is suggested from day to evening.

As for Step 2: “Vitamin C“ :

Is also optional, and most dermatologists I have researched or spoke with generally say to “decide’ for yourself whether or not you want to add it in your routine. This is due to the fact that it’s quite difficult to “prove” the efficacy of the L ascorbic acid with aiding in sun protection and even skin tone complexation etc. (This is ingredient your looking for to get the benefits of what Vitamin C products claim to do on the skin). This questionability is due to various factors that contribute to the Vitamin C product being “stable” and effective. I myself am not currently using a Vitamin C product in my routine (but have in the past) and will update this page on my previous/new experiences when I do reintroduce it. I will recommend that you only purchase a Vitamin C that firstly has “L ascorbic acid as its main form of vehicle. (This is the most reliable stable form of Vit C) and, that you also purchase it from a ”Derm Brand” which may make it an expensive purchase. (More info below in my personal products and recommendations section of this page soon).

Other Tips and notes for skincare in the AM:

Avoid SPF sticks and sprays as they do not nearly have enough coverage to protect you from the sun and remember that makeup containing SPF (though better than makeup that doesn't) does not contain nearly the amount of “Sun Protection Factor” to protect your skin as a regular sunscreen lotion would typically. Although I love makeup I try not to wear it very regularly in the summer if not an event; just so that I can apply SPF instead. Also keeping hand sanitizer with you is a good way to disinfect your hands if you do not have access to a wash station/soap/water etc.

If your short on time in the morning just apply spf after rinsing the skin with water and/or take your spf bottle with you! Remember to keep your sunscreen out of hot cars, humid bathrooms or freezing environments to keep the product effective.

For the Nighttime :

If wearing eye makeup treat this as Step 1, and remove with micellar water first (or product of choice) and cotton pads. Hold cotton pad to eye for about 15 seconds minimum and swipe across gently back and forth to remove makeup. This avoids harsh tugging of the skin which may effect skin elasticity or cause irritation. I like to take an extra cotton pad after, fold it in half and drench the “outer fold” to remove makeup from the upper and lower lash line diligently. Ignoring this area can encourage old makeup to enter your eyes. The reason why I prefer having this step in routine, as opposed to just using the same cleanser or balm as I would my face to remove eye makeup is because it’s more thorough in removal, requires less effort and is less messy which makes me more inclined to do my skincare routine on time when I need to. (That’s important!) But if you don’t tend to wear a lot of heavy eye makeup that requires some effort to remove it’s definitely fine skipping this step.

1. Cleanse rest of the face from sunscreen/make up/lotion/daily dirt and grime as need be with any making removing oil or balm cleanser. Make sure to double/triple cleanse as needed. I will often use cotton pads and micellar water to remove my first layer of makeup just as I did with my eyes and then follow through will the oil/balm cleanser as the second step. If i’m not wearing makeup, I don’t use micellar water on my face and just my cleanser of choice once or twice.

2. Apply serum/hydrating product all over face, neck and eyes. I consider this “the supplementary skin step”, similar to taking a supplement, you can choose to add extra serums, toners, essences etc. to aid in extra hydration, or even introduce products that may address certain skin textural issues etc. There’s a boat load of products you can choose for this step but you will never go wrong with a hydrating serum or essence to give your skin a boost that will make a visible difference than just using your moisturizer alone. Some choose to layer multiple products in this step and if you do the thinnest is generally what you would use first. Overcomplicating this step is common; especially for skin care lovers which may lead to various issues such as irritation from too many products. I left more details on my skincare page in the section below where I touch of various products causing irritation if you want more direction or tips on how to choose the right type of serum/essence/toner for you based on the intended outcome you are trying to achieve.

3. Apply a small amount of eye retinol to the under eye area only.

4. Apply moisturizer all over face neck and eyes (lightly dab over the eye area too, where you placed the retinol (optional). Dabbing is important so you do not move around the eye retinol. Alternatively, you can use eye moisturizer first and eye retinol on top. I prefer the way around, as eye-retinols are quite gentle on my under eye area so I benefit from that direct retinol-to-skin contact.

5. Apply Tretinoin/other related product everywhere *except* the eye area (both the under eyes and lids). Be careful not to bring the tretinoin to close the eye area where you may have spread the eye retinol product out so that you are not layering multiple retinoids on top of one another. Use cautiously around sides of nose, chin and mouth as these area tend to be too sensitizing of a location for many people to tolerate the use of this product. Any area that has repetitive dryness or flakiness (long-term) past the initial “purging adjustment” stage is too sensitive to tolerate the product. Using tret/other in these areas may be causing inflammation of the skin or barrier damage.

*** Optional Step apply an extra layer of any simple occlusive face/body lotion over the entire face if you’d like to seal in the hydration (optional)- when implementing this step after retinol its considered the “sandwich method” (moisturizer, retinol, moisturizer) which some claim helps the skin better tolerate retinoids but I use just to help to keep the skin’s hydration sealed overnight; particularly in the winter season when my room is blasting hot air throughout the night. I also found it helped when I was previously on 0.05 tret (a concentration that I felt was a bit too sensitizing for me at the start).

6. Always remember chap stick & Vaseline for the lips. Any petroleum jelly product ontop of chap stick of choice can be applied for extra protection. Petroleum jelly is optional but the chap stick is recommended.

Other tips and notes for skincare in the PM :

If you find a night in which you are tired before bed just cleanse and moisturize. This is the only mandatory step of your nighttime routine as the skin regenerates and “builds” itself during sleep and simply needs to be kept clean and protected. Just as failure to not address adequate sun protection in the morning with lead to premature aging and other potential complications- so will not sleeping with a clean face at night; so both steps need to be done committedly. Even if you chose not to wear sunscreen in the daytime (though I doubt someone taking that option is reading this page) washing your face at night is a basic hygiene practice if anything just as taking a shower is. So don’t be disgusting. 😂

In essence, products that will makeup your routine include :

* Moisturizer

* Cleanser that can remove makeup & be gentle on your skin

* Eye makeup remover (if you need it)

* “Hydrator” (essence/ampule/serum etc.)

* Night Active for FACE (Retinol/Retinoid/Tretinoin/Vitamin A derivative of choice etc.)

* Night Active for EYES (Retinol/Retinoid/Tretinoin/Vitamin A derivative of choice etc.)

* Lip Balm

* Lip SPF (non drying)

As mentioned above, for the entire detailed and thorough guide where I touch on :

My Favourite Products/Recommendations

Acne Prone Skin

Starting Retinol

Korean vs French vs Japanese products

Seasonal Skincare Tips + More!

Follow this link below to be Guided to my Skincare Site :

Please reblog, like, and share this post if you found it helpful at all 💖

Love, Sarafina

[thebearme]

OH WAIT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ALSO ASK BTW IF YOU HAVE ANY HEADCANONS ON CAMERON OR GWEN

Imma just gonna start with Cam first, and let me just tell you Cameron I projected the most on because even after my "ihatehim no ilovehim" phase so idk maybe some of this could be out of character srry.

I imagine Cameron is south African, particularly Zimbabwean.

His a walking nerd emoji.

The only pass time Cam had was to draw bugs. So he's REALLY GOOD at drawing bugs. Only bugs. Everything else looks like it's from the diary of a wimpy kid.

Cam not that keen of physical touch but slowly getting used to it cuz of Mike. Mike also trying to remember that everyone is open on surprise hugs.

Idk why but with Zoey and Cam's relationship I just think of Carly and Freddie but without the crush.

Gwen and Cam would have art trades together.

Cam got the dryess hands in existence because of the amount of hand sanitizer he uses. OCD GAND RISE UP!

Im saying this now but Cam and B would TOTALLY VIBE TOGETHER!! i just don't know their intentions are yet so dont ask..

Lightning and Cam would have hangout if not for the cheating thing.

Duncan once asked Cam if he can draw a mural of his pet spider Scruffy.

Sam would take it as his personal duty to teach Cam in the way of being a gamer. By teaching him the Zelda timeline and the lore of FNAF. May god rest Cam soul after that.

Cam doesn't not do well with the more active people in Mike's system like Svetlana and Manitoba. They try to be gentle with him but they just don't know their strengths and Manitoba canonically eats dirt so there's only so much they can hangout.

Vito doesn't vibe with nerds but he does occasional try to back him up if he's getting bullied. ONLY if Vito himself isn't bullying Cam.

Cameron actually has the best relationship with Chester. He loves hearing history and old facts and Chester loves the excuse to chat someone's ears off.

Mal and Cam have more of a neutral relationship with each other but I can definitely see Mal thinking his just some weakling nerd until Cam shows him he knows how to make the Demon core.

Cam and Mike started a hate Scott club. Although Cam feels alil bad about, he tends to be reminded of why they started this club every time they go back to their cabin.

Cam once witnessed Scott use the bathroom without washing his hands. And never liked him since.

There was one time between season, Mike, Cam and Zoey were going on a little road trip. Z & M both ask what song should they play next? Cam said he doesn't know any songs so maybe just play the Ice cream truck theme. And that's when they find out HOW sheltered this boy is.

I would get into the nitty gritty but Cam's mom is NOT a good mom. Zoey and Mike have beef with her (Zoey trys to have the benefit of the doubt and said she just too over protective while Mike legit DONT like her.)

They both make sure that Cam gets as much outside time as possible and learn to have a life outside of his house.

When Cam goes to college is going aboard as an entomologist.

When Cameron first came on TD he didn't know what to wear because obviously he's never been outside so it a mixture of hot and cold clothes. Bro don't know fashion but it's his outfit changes in All Stars.

He's wearing a puffer jacket because it reminds him of a sleeping bag and makes him cozy + it has a cooling system inside thanks to B.

[starlightshore]

Gotta say, I love how you made so many posts criticizing people who see Chara as an abuser, yet in your own AU you depict them as a cruel, vindictive bully who tries to turn Asriel's family against her, drives her to suicide, then guilt-trips her into getting back together with them. Yet Asriel is somehow the real abuser because she's mad at them for ruining her life. I am by no means a Chara hater, but that seems a little inconsistent.

// CW: discussions of suicide, long post

wow, what an incredibly uncharitable reading of my work! thank you so much!

okay, jokey-positive aside. i shouldn't respond to bad-faith criticism like this because it's not worth my time as it's unlikely you'll actually hear me out in response. I've been online long enough to know you don't feed the trolls.

but, I'm an optimist at heart and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're actually upset with me and do want to have a civil conversation and are not just here to spew hate and drag me down.

Ask Fallen Royalty, the tumblr version wasn't handled the best as it was my first attempt at really trying to write this subject matter and I felt I didn't tackle it as well as I could have. that's something I plan on fixing with the rewrite.

that said, I have never called either of the siblings abusers.

they're flawed, mentally unwell and traumatized young adults/teens who are in no way equipped to handle the situation they were put in.

they both did awful things. Asriel packaged their trauma in a sanitized way for profit and sympathy points believing it'd benefit Monsterkind. they did so without asking Chara for permission. Then later, at Christmas, Asriel abandoned their family to go solo ruling. That's shitty! That's objectively really shitty but it's a very understandable reaction.

Asriel is taught that money is what moves the world and they believe they're soulless and a faker. That if anyone were to know their secret they'd hate them. so prevent that hurt, they cut everyone else out.

That's completely why Chara goes from "oh man I miss Asriel I wish I was good enough to have them beside me again ):" to 180 "Actually screw them for leaving me i hate them for this. i don't deserve to wallow in pain waiting for someone who can't even bother to text me back" them cutting of asriel is an understandable reaction for anyone, let alone a teenager! could they have been more gentle? yeah. could they have tried to fix things? yeah! but they're not a villain for not having the emotional maturity or foresight to handle a complex situation like that. they're like, literally 15/16 at this point of the story

chara also wasn't trying to drive people away from asriel? i really don't know what you're referring to with this aside from Chara deciding to tell the (at the time they believed) truth that Asriel is Flowey. At that point, Chara literally thought Asriel was replaced by Flowey. That they were two different people. That's not to isolate them- its to be honest with the family with this huge news. Toriel is shown not to care that her children are flowers, it would have never mattered to her as we see immediately that Chara is a flower and Toriel doesn't care.

chara also didn't drive Asriel to suicide. that's a blatant misread of the text. It's not that Asriel decided to die right after Chara decided to cut them off. and it's NOT like chara handed them a loaded gun or told them to do anything. all they did was say "don't lie to our family and don't talk to me, i don't want to be friends with you."

Asriel didn't decide to die until they felt their weak support system was breaking down. Yun wanted to be with Mew Mew, the Band broke up (Shyren, Napstablook and most recently Mew Mew quit), they made a big stupid movie that they hate (the epitome of their fake narrative on the silver screen), and because they ditched the premiere to check on chara (who was missing) their agents are pissed off.

Mew Mew then talks about how troubled Flowey/Asriel is and how being a secret flower hurt their social life. (The relationship with Flora being a strong example) like, Flowey always sabotages or loses those they care about because everyone else has their own life and they don't open themselves to create connections that last because they're running away. it's the culmination of everything going wrong that drives them to that point.

plus, it's hammered home later in Flowey's introspection that they feel horribly guilty for their actions as Flowey. parading as their perfect King when they secretly killed a majority of mosnterkind and did who knows what else is like. majorly fucked up.

i'm unsure if you forgot or chose to ignore the larger narrative or what's happened, but these things are in the story. they're both messed up individuals who have a hard time communicating their feelings -Chara literally brings up having emotional dysregulation disorder and CPTSD in the epilogue. Asriel's imposter syndrome and-gestures to Flowey) is also a clear indication that they've got some fundamental mental health issues that prevent them from understanding themselves and others.

it's a story about broken people who lash out against each other but ultimately come together in love.

they care so so deeply for each other! they're family. messing up (especially as children, teenagers etc) doesn't mean you shouldn't be written off as disposable. you're ALL capable of fucking up severely but you have the chance to grow and better yourself. you owe it to those who are willing to give that chance to do better. that's what the story has always been about.

I will admit that I plan on working on the pacing and giving chara more sweet moments so it doesn't come across as harsh -I don't want either sibling to be seen as a "villain" or """""abusive"""" as you call them. Except, yeah, Asriel is meant to be seen as an antagonist for a brief while, but that's set up Chara to come to that realization just the same as the audience should.

i hope this helped you understand what i was going for. if you wanna talk further I don't mind, but please talk to me as a real person. we're on the same page that abuse is bad. that people shouldn't treat each other so horribly. i don't excuse either of the character's interactions but i want to show empathy and understanding and that they can grow past that. i sincerely hope we can come to a shared perspective. if you wanna, i'd love to talk about i can make this message more clear, i'd love some proper criticism! i hope you have a lovely day and that you please be more considerate to how you to talk to others as I could have very easily read this anon hate/trolling.