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justmy-account · 8 months ago

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Suspicious Minds thoughts

I finally got to read one of the Stranger Things books!

Suspicious Minds is a book written by Gwenda Bond and its Stranger Things prequel. It takes place in June 1969-September 1970 and it’s mostly about Dr. Martin Brenner and Terry Ives. We see how Terry started with this project and her experience with it. Don’t forget that everything thats in this book is secondary canon, that means that it may or may not be truth, or that if the show says something otherwise, it doesn't mean the book is complete nonsense.

I just wrote down some important information from the story, or some interesting facts. There’s a lot of them, so I color-coded them, bc why not, it’ll be better ig.

Terry’s personal life, her friends etc.

Brenner’s personal stuff

Kali’s personal stuff

how the experiment worked

terry trying to figure out whats the experiment abt

abt El

Brenner sorts out people into categories immediatly as he sees them(gender, hight, weight, race, intelligence estimate, potencial estimate)

Kali was 5 in 1969, so she was born in 1964, therefore was 20 in s2

b4 kali came to the lab, “the powers of other subjects we’re unsatisfying”

kali insisted on the name kali, didnt like when people called her “eight”

in 1969 terry had a boyfriend named Andrew, they and their friends used to smoke together(tho terry rather just drink, bc when she smoked she literally felt like seeing ghost)

terry worked as waitress

her roomate stacey told her abt some study where she participated. stacey said it was very weird and it wasnt worth the money(15$). terry didnt have that much money, so she tried it

becky was very protective over terry, but she approved bc they needed the money

becky lived in their parents house while terry lived in collage. it’s the same house as the one where they live now/in the show

terry was known as person who asks million questions

she pretended to be stacey at the experiment(it took place in psychology hall at their campus) bc she didnt sign in or sth and stacey was already signed up

terry wanted to change the world, she wrote letters to the congresmans etc., so she participated in the study bc she wanted to be “part of something big”

she was studying in bloomington, the following experiments took place in hawkins, where they(terry+other ppl that participated in the experiment)drove once a week

brenner was impressed by terry from the very start

in the first sitting they gave terry drugs and brenner asked her abt the worst day of her life(the day of her parents’ funeral-they both died in car crash) and tried some psychological stuff like “put all that pain and grief to a box and then throw the box away”

next time she went to the sensory deprivation tank

becky is four years older than terry

terry had the talent to leave good first impression

later terry didnt have to go to school thursdays bc the lab freed her and she got credit for the study(therefore she couldnt just leave the study cuz her grades depended on it)

terry participated in the study with three different people from her school;

Ken: even when they were looking for women to participate in the experiment, he said that his psychic abilities told him to participate

Alice: she wasnt studying, but she worked with her uncle in his auto-mechanic shop(idk hows it called), she tried to look as dirty as possible, so people would trust her with fixing their car

Gloria: was from a pretty rich family, studies biology and participated in the study bc she wanted to see how it works in labs. later she realized that the hnl may not be doing stuff as they should be

they didn’t know what’s the experiment for, but their theory was that maybe they’re trying to find some usage for LSD-that would explain why they gave them the drugs and did some like “excersises” with them

Alice was getting electro-shocks, once she saw “a monster with too long arms and flower-like head” in her mind, which could be demogorgon

once terry went to the wrong door in the hospital and met kali

kali said she likes secrets

terry thought kali might be brenners daughter(she called him papa), and maybe the experiment is for her, that shes sick and theyre looking for medicine for her

terry went to library and found mentions of three brenners but none of them was martin. got me thinking abt richard brenner theory

brenner thought he hypnotised terry and told her to bug phone at gloria’s parents’ store

terry wasnt hypnotised, so she remember it, and told gloria abt it. gloria was okay with putting it to the phone, cuz it wasnt their home phone, and didnt want terry to have a problem

kali eventually told brenner that “a nice pretty lady visited her and promised she’ll come back”

brenner didn’t want kali to meet other people except doctors, so she doesn’t lose her powers or sth

after she tried sensory deprivation tank, she got angry and didnt like it there, and that made her powers work

terry and her lab friends(+andrew) started to doubt abt the experiment and wanted to take some of the drugs they use at them to analyse them, go to brenners office and stuff like that

terry managed to get to brenners office(ken was pretending that he’s choking so everyone was distracted with him), she found files named “secret”, “mk ultra” and “indigo”.

she also found files named “001”,”002”,003”,…,”010”. after them she found file “project indigo”, so i assume that el, kali, henry etc. were all part of project indigo.

brenner later found out through camera footage where terry went

andrew dropped out of school bc he publicly stood up against Nixon during his speech abt the war in vietnam

since he wasnt in school anymore, he couldve been chosen to go to war

brenner wanted to “punish” terry for going around the hospitala nd stuff, so he called his friend in washington dc so they pick adrew to the war

during one trip, alice seen to the future and she saw El. she saw how she refused to do some experiment and then killed the guards(we saw this scene in the show in s1)

when kali was using her powers, she didnt struggle with starting, but it was hard for her to stop

brenner doesnt understand children(his words), but he considers himself to be “dad type”

six months after the start of the experiment(july-december 69) brenner noticed terry is pregnant(they were doing some tests on her and noticed it)

brenner didnt want terry to know that she pregnant(father is andrew btw), he told her that if she gets stomach pain, she shouldnt go to the doctor, bc they wouldnt know what to do with it, bc he said its bc of the drugs and gave her some medicine for it

terry was using “the void”

they thought the girl that alice saw(el) was in the hospital as some other children(we know it was in the future), so they decided to look for her(in alices mind)

they later figured out that alice saw the future, bc brenner was older, she saw cars she didnt recognize, machines that didnt exist yet…

in february terry was eating a lot bc of all the stress, so she thought shes gaining weight bc of that(but she was pregnant)

it kinda doesnt make sense that she didnt notice that she didnt have her period for like three months but idk

terry tells brenner to leave her alone, and thats exactly what he wants(he wants to make her angry, have emotions)

she talks to kali often in the void, they’re pretty good friends

kali used her powers to visit alice once(terry told kali abt her friends)

brenner was worried shell use her powers to escape

b4 andrew left for vietnam he broke up with terry(or they went on a break idk how to call it)(but andrew was very great boyfriend dw)

ken has some issues with his family, they never minded “weird” till he started dating a boy

terry asked kali to distract brenner

she went to brenners office again, she took pictures of the files, in the mk ultra file there were their files

kali told papa that she was talking to terry and he found the pictures she took(wasnt really mad tho)

he just gave her another manipulatational speech abt theyre the good guys

also the things with terrys period was solved that she still has her period, so ig the drugs messed sth up, but i dont think its biologicaly possible, but what do i know, ill just go with it

terry called some reporters from hawkins to come to hnl and werie artcile abt it

brenner said hes busy so they were with another doctor

the photograph suggested taking picture of him with the subjects and thats when the infamous photo was taken

at some point terry connected the dots and realized she’s pregnant

ken predicted that it’s girl

andrew died(i fucking cried)(terry found out by calling his parents)

terry didnt go to the lab bc of it

she wants to start a new life and disappear

ken named her baby jane(bc of jane goodall)

kali told brenner that alice sees in the future so he managed to get some form to permanently move alice to the lab

rest of them had a plan; glroia turned on the fire alarm, kali used her powers to make alice look dead, and terry went to alices room and started blaming brenner for her death(she knew that shes not dead btw). ken waited outside with a car. gloria pretended to be a doctor that took alices body to autopsy(brenner and his team probably never found out that alice actually didnt die). alice went to canada where part of her family lived and she stayed there. the rest of the gang went back home.

earlier that day brenner gave terry some drug or medicine and that made her water broke

i like it was “show-accurate” that her water broke in the kitchen, same as in the show, even the dialouge was the same

brenner was one of the doctors that were there and he just took el

thatd mean that els birth day is somwhere in june 1970 btw

terrys friends believed her that el/jane is alive

ken’s new boyfriend was a soldier and he worked for the hnl(what a coincidence) and he got a photo of El from somwhere(btw, ken said that he thinks/predicts that he’ll find love in hawkins so ig he was right)

that’s pretty much it

i really really liked this book, id love to read other stranger things books, but i dont think ill be able to do that cuz i cannot get any where i live. id recommend this book to everyone interested in stranger things, there’s no like mind blowing new facts abt the experiments, but it definitely gives you interesting information on how it actually might be. im the kind of person thatd like to know everything abt everything, so reading this book made me gain some new information abt my fav show, so it was really worth it. it was a very quick read, the book has like 317 pages, i managed to read it in like two days, so it was really anyway thats it ig yeah

#stranger things #suspicious minds stranger things #stranger things suspicious minds #martin brenner #terry ives #becky ives #kali prasad #el hopper byers #el hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper byers #jane hopper

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 1 year ago

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COSMIC - S2:E7; Chapter Seven, The Lost Sister - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

In their search for answers, psychic visions draw Eleven and Y/n to a band of violent outcasts and an angry girl with a shadowy past.

⚠️ WARNINGS: canon use of a derogatory term referring to someone who lives with psychosis spectrum syndrome, or schizophrenia (used exactly twice, back to back)

📝A.N: I thank you endlessly for your patience, my dears. There's been and will be more rewriting (not storywise, really, just some polishing) for the lost sister chapters. Also, while I'm here, stranger danger is real, kids. Practice safety everywhere you can. Please be safe 🙏

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Hugging my jacket tighter around my chest does little to stop the chattering in my teeth thanks to the cold that has already sunk into my bones. Despite all that has happened, I count ourselves lucky the seats El and I picked ended up near the bus's heater. Though at least the lingering chill from outside is keeping me awake and alert.

Trying again to rub the very last of sleep from my eyes, I try even harder to make sense of the sudden change in my surroundings.

I remember drifting off on the futon at Becky's, the next thing I know El is shaking me awake and pulling me down the stairs. All I had time to grab was my jacket, counting myself very lucky I managed to slip on my shoes before we were out the door.

Another shiver hits me like a brick when a bit of cold sneaks down the neck of my jacket. I inwardly groan. I didn't even get to change out of my pajamas.

I tried asking El what was going on and where the hell we were going─not to mention so late at night─but nothing came of it. It was difficult not to ask again, but the look I caught in her eye as we fled the front porch silenced me, if only momentarily. I tried again, when we were halfway down the road.

That time she spoke. And with a breathless voice, a vice-like grip on my hand, and furiously banishing a single tear she thought I hadn't seen. "It's not safe."

So here we find ourselves... Squished into two little purple patterned seats on the first bus we could find. I'm just happy it's not another truck.

I feel a pair of eyes on me and I look cautiously to my side, already knowing what to expect. Several other passengers watch us discreetly─some not so much. A young couple across the isle and two rows back are whispering as they eye us, either heavily concerned or far too judgemental. I'm tired and can't bring myself to care enough to figure it out.

Sadly, however, my self anxieties are still in tact under these stares. I tug my jacket tighter around my torso, my arms staying folded across my stomach. I turn to look at El and I can make out her disheartened reflection watching droplets of rain trickle down the fogged window. I rest my head tiredly on the back of my seat and attempt to break the silence.

"El?" My voice comes out as strangled, but I don't know why.

Her head rolls across the seat to face me and I'm reminded she's just as upset about this sudden uprooting as I am. Likely, of course, even more so. Her brown eyes, normally sparkling, are dulled and sad. Her eyelids sag a little, but she's fighting it well. More than anything, I sense a great deal of it is emotional exhaustion.

A million questions run through my head but I only find myself asking one. "Are you okay?"

She sniffles but gives me no immediate answer. That's when I finally note the small trace of a copper red smear, barely visible at the base of her nose that she had otherwise hastily wiped clean. Blood.

One more look in her eyes and I know; El is debating on whether or not she should lie. Finally, she speaks, and somehow I know she has told me the truth. "No."

I wince at the sound of her broken voice, splintered and forced. I extend my hand, as she did this afternoon. I'm so happy when she takes it. I gave her palm a reassuring squeeze and I look carefully in her eyes.

"El, you know you can tell me anything, right?" I ask, not even completely certain she has something to tell. But I still need her to know this.

Her eyes fall to our hands, and although she tries to hide it, I notice the subtle flutter of her eyes working to blink back tears. Her free and restless hand─which had been fiddling with her clutched bag straps on and off all day─tightened considerably. She must be spending too much time with me, a part of me thought dismissively.

"She called us in." Her grip flinches tighter when she whispers this. "I'm sorry."

Called us in? I try to make sense of this for a moment. I wonder if I heard her correctly, she had spoken so softly.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I ask gently. "Why are you sorry?"

"I heard her," she choked back. Panic is crawling into her voice and her other hand leaves the straps of her bag in favor of holding onto my forearm. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she thought I would suddenly dissappear. "She called for the policeman. Told them about me. And... she gave them your name. I'm sorry Y/n."

"My name?" I gulped, but my throat felt suddenly dry. "So, the police are gonna--? They're gonna know that I'm...?"

She nodded, remorseful eyes brimming with tears. Her face twists up in a sour pout she quickly banishes. But it was clear. She was panicking, for both our sakes.

Instinctively, I gave her hand another reassuring squeeze and managed, at most, a half-assed smile. Maybe it's for her sake, or maybe it's for mine.

"It's okay, it's not entirely your fault El," I say instinctively. I gulp again despite my dry mouth, certain she notices, but there's little room to care. My mind is buzzing, sleep now a far off worry. "Yeah, okay. I'm not going to lie to you, that's... That's not good. But I also knew what I was risking when I went with you."

My words feel like they're coming in slower and slower as I process everything in real time. El's patience with me is genuine, at least, and I attempt to mirror that as I sort hastily through my thoughts.

"The truth is, things really haven't been going super well at home. Everyone's fighting─more than usual, I mean,"

El cracks a tiny somber smile at that, and I feel one spread across my face as well. But it hardly lasts for either of us.

"Like I said before, Mike hasn't been himself since you left. And now Will is acting up. In fact, he's... El, he's completely different. He's sick, he's really sick. And so angry.

"The party is falling apart, and I've felt more alone these past few weeks than I have in a really long time. And on top of it all," my voice lowers further. "I'm still finding stuff I didn't know I could do. I've been having trouble with... well, you know."

El looks to me in surprise, her eyebrows raised. Safe to say she understands what I'm getting at.

I nod. "The point is, you showing up has been just what I needed. And yes, it's scary, but thanks to you I found out how I got here─where I came from... That's really good. I have you to thank for that."

It takes her a moment to consider my words, but El eventually gives me a smile that doesn't quite meet her eyes. A mixture of remorse and fear is still etched into her tear-stained face as she needlessly pulls her bag further into her lap, her hand leaving my forearm again to do so. I almost think more of it before her face lights up in grateful remembrance.

El wiggles closer to me in her seat before dipping her head in. "I found her. The girl."

I perked up a bit, looking back at my friend with a daring crumb of hope.

"Really? That's great! So did you get anything useful? Maybe the girl's name or where we're going?"

The hope I saw in El's face disappeared just as soon, and she shakes her head. But her face scrunches up thoughtfully as if she was trying to remember something she might have missed.

"A city." She looks at me quizzically, repeating a word she must have heard only in passing. "Shuh-cago?"

My eyes widened. "Chicago?" El nodded. "We're going to Chicago?"

El shrugged her shoulders. This was the best she could give. "Shuh-cago."

Okay. Chicago. Deep breath in. I could do that. And out. Maybe. Maybe this was incredibly stupid. In. Then again, so was chasing down an interdimensional gate while on the run from top secret government thugs. And I had done that... Barely.

"Um, okay..." I sigh heavily, only now realizing I have been holding my breath. My eyes fall to my lap, noting my rapidly bouncing leg. "Well, are you sure? Is that what you heard, or maybe saw somewhere?"

El nodded. Another dry gulp.

"So you really think she'll help, huh?" I ask.

She gives me a weak, but reassuring smile and softly squeezes my hand. "Yes."

I look to her, grateful, but I'm unsure how genuine I appear. Yet another silence follows quickly after.

The familiar feeling bubbles up in my stomach again, though it is much more intense. Sure I had anxieties about leaving with El, but this overpowered that. At least I had the small chance of not getting caught─that I'd be back the next night and it could all be explained away by being at the Byers house. But this is quickly spiraling. This had already spiraled, and I am beginning to feel sick to my stomach with nerves. The moment the Chief got Becky Ives' message then it was only a matter of time before my mom was notified, and─oh no...

Unsurprisingly, she's going to the ends of the earth just to find Mews. I can't imagine the stress she'll inevitably be under when she finds out that some woman across town filed a report about me. And now I'm on a bus to Illinois.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. The last thing I need is spirlaing my way into another accident. I have a feeling I could do a lot more damage on a crowded bus than I did boiling some cereal.

I glance at El for only a moment. Her attention is back outside, peering through the fog and the reflections on the glass. She's (presumably) oblivious to the noise in my head. A part of me─the logical part of me─is angry with myself for being so forgiving. For not communicating my disappointment well enough. Dustin always said I had a problem with that. And yet, even though I meant what I had said to El about finding out where I came from...

Maybe I did it cause I felt bad for El. She was sorry, and she was in trouble.

But I'm in trouble now, too, I remind myself.

Part of me is hoping Chicago is a dead end, and while I feel awful for feeling that way, I do. I find myself longing to be with Will again. The old Will. He always had a knack for knowing when I wasn't okay.

He always makes me feel validated when I'm upset. He listens, and he'd do anything to get me to smile. The way I want to do for him.

It hurts thinking about that now.

Whether I like it or not, I've found myself on a one way trip to the unknown, straying further and further from the safety of home.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

I don't realize I have drifted off until I feel a tap on my shoulder. My head feels much heavier and I find myself squinting against the interior lights (which now seem much brighter than before) to find El gesturing towards the isle. Through bleary eyes I make out a small line of people already shuffling down the isle ahead of us. Quickly─but rather drowsily─I rise from my seat and join them, making sure El is close behind.

We had spilled out onto the busy streets among the rest but found ourselves stalled at the edge of the sidewalk. I'm unsure about El, but the sight before me succeeds in banishing my exhaustion instantly. Between the return of the frigid breeze, the towering architecture, and the swarm of strangers every which way, I'm questioning if I'll ever sleep again.

I'm captivated as I look around in an odd mix of awe and fear. Living in a small town like Hawkins for so long makes places like Chicago feel like another planet, so it would seem.

It doesn't feel as though we're standing in the heart of the city, more so the center of a giant hive─with bees buzzing in and out with no motivation other than work. No leisure, just urgency. The entire world is whirring around us─every which way─and I suddenly have this feeling if any one person were to drop at any moment this little world would keep on moving without a second thought. It's fascinating and completely terrifying.

One curious look at El told me I wasn't alone. Neither of us had fully comprehended what we were in for until this moment. But I suppose that in itself was even slightly reassuring─that neither of us were alone.

Standing here lost in a sea of strange people, that note hits a bit harder this time as the initial shock wears off. Nobody here seems to know anyone and they all seem angry.

She remains silent at my side but El's wisdom from earlier still bring comfort to me.

"Y/n, we can defend ourselves, remember?"

She did have a point, we do have certain advantages. But then again, came that convincing little voice in my head, if we were put in a situation where we were forced to use them, then all the closer we going were to being caught.

I look to El to try and gauge her reaction and I find she's still very much lost in the towering city skyline─a genuine smile on her face. For a moment I wish I can enjoy it, but there are simply too many reminders where we are, and why I can't.

Eagerly, she starts walking down the streets and I follow her. I'm thankful I was able to retrieve my shoes and jacket, but I still can't seem to drag my thoughts away from the fact that my teeth are back to chattering. The words I spoke earlier today pop into my mind only to mock me, "I guess I kept myself warm,". Just another reason to learn how to--

A strong force strikes my shoulder hard enough to put a stumble in my steps, and instantly my train of thought is gone. I whirl around to see a man throwing me a pointed sneer over his large, squared shoulders. "Watch yourself, would ya'?," Gawking back, I spy the man making steady strides down the sidewalk with no remorse.

Huffing, I burrow my fists deeper in my jacket pockets and lie to myself that it's simply to keep my hands warm. It's bullshit, considering I don't need help in that department, but it keeps us going forward I guess.

Well, me, anyway.

I don't get in two steps before finally noticing El was at a standstill. I stop again, this time confused, to see my friend rooted to the middle of the city sidewalk. Steam from nearby grates billowed all around her, ruffling her flannel collar. She fixes a hard glare on the man behind us.

"Mouth-breather," She says, her voice low. Just then, her gaze drops and my eyes begin to widen.

I spot the man in the crowd just in time to see him stumble forward onto the concrete. Angrily, he sits up, looking around frantically and glaring at anyone who dared to titter. I felt a chuckle coming on myself when I barely make out the string of curses directed at his shoelaces as he hotly retied them.

El looked to me, hardly suppressing a smile and a roguish look in her eye. Before anyone could see, she wiped her nose clean of blood.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

If I thought I was cold before, I was dead wrong. We've been walking for about two hours, if I had to guess. The muscles in my feet are beginning to knot, and my sweatpants are clinging to my legs.

About half an hour ago, a truck drove through a puddle and I caught the tail end of the splash when we turned the corner. To pass the time, I've been trying to dry them subtly with my hands against my legs, but it didn't get me very far, even with El's advice. I finally gave it a rest after a while. I wasn't getting terribly far and I didn't want to risk draining myself if the walk was much longer.

By now I've grown used to the odd and wandering looks we've gathered. But the tension creeps back in when El leads us down an incredibly questionable alley. We are definitely in the riskier parts of the city though I try to hold my tongue and save questions until later. My instincts tell me I need to appear more confident than I am. El seems to hold up that exterior well enough, though even her confidence is waning slightly.

We find ourselves surrounded by many sluggish people, all of whom mill about around us. The alley and its inhabitants are lit mostly by fire pits in steel barrels. The stench is hard to ignore; everything wreaks of booze, cigarettes, and urine.

A frightening, cackling, man steps towards my face as we walk by and I flinch back. "They're dead. They're all dead!" He cries out.

His hyena-like laughter bounces off the cement walls and echoes in my ears. I can practically taste his awful breath and I duck my head down avoiding eye contact as I pull El along forward with me.

I can sense her eagerness to leave the alley in her vice-like grip that rivals my own. Neither of us dare let go. Without a word, we break into a matching jog and scurry on.

We don't stop until we reach what looks to be an abandoned underpass. The stench is mostly gone, but in its place something else unidentifiable. Beer cans litter the concrete and every wall is touched with graffiti.

Finally, we emerge from the darkened space to find an old and windowless warehouse. Like the underpass, there isn't a single wall or slab of concrete that isn't decorated with spray paint and neon color. This is where El stops us suddenly.

I glanced ahead of me at the building a second time, now taking in the little details. There is one tiny door ahead of us supplied with only one window─the glass dirtied and fogged, shows us nothing but flickering yellow light. And beckoning us over, curling whisps of steam pouring out of the shadows despite (what appeared to be) the windowless, pipeless, boring metal box of a building.

"Is... this it?" I ask.

"Yes." El answers. And for the first time since the alley, she releases my hand.

El sets off towards the building without another word. Almost like ripping of a band-aid; if she didn't do it now and all at once... Or maybe that's just my reasoning. I quickly follow behind, attempting to prepare myself for whatever we might find.

Upon first glance, it's not much different to the exterior; boxes, crates, barrels, and planks litter the interior and the spray paint almost smells fresh. The entrance we stand in is part of a small alcove, and it's clear the further you step inside the ceiling extends. But what catches my eye are the four people huddled around another makeshift firepit.

One girl, who sits perched on several cushions and lighting a cigarette begins to giggle teasingly. "You should do stand-up, Axe. There's a spot a few blocks away."

The group chuckles, and a tall lanky man with a large mohawk rolls his eyes with a smirk. Among them, a rather large and beefy man, who clearly seems to be the muscle, and another young woman in cuffed jeans, gloves and a dark green flannel jacket.

There is no time to worry what they might say or do when they realize we are here. El is already calling out to them. Logically, I knew we would be making ourselves known one way or another, yet my knees now feel as if they are threatening to lock at the sudden action.

"Hello?" El's voice echoed out.

The group stops and turns, their faces illuminated by the fire. The shadows now casted across their faces are eerie, like someone about to tell a ghost story.

A sickening smirk curls along the lanky one's face. My stomach drops two stories when he struts around the fire, now making his way towards us.

"Well, well... What do we have here?" He purrs, still with that no good smile.

The others follow in their friend's footsteps and rise to their feet, no doubt an act of intimidation. I look anxiously between El and the strangers, though I somehow manage to keep a still face.

These others are now inching towards us and I feel my heart rate pick up. The woman in the green jacket scoffs, looking us up and down. If I were to guess, she was trying to decide which of us looked stranger.

"What are those, overalls?" She asks finally, referring to El.

The other young woman─who had been stalking around us like we were something to play with─finally stops at me. I try to hide the tense in my shoulders but I suspect it's no use. Her gaze is somewhat bored as she looks me up and down, then jabs a bony finger in my shoulder. I roll it when she does, as if shaking off the feel of her touch.

"And get a load of this one," she squeaks, blowing smoke into my grimacing face. She lets out an awkward snort, clearly amused with my reactions and uneasy demeanor. "Y'could knock this one down with a feather,"

I cough, fanning away the miniature smog cloud lingering in my face. This gave the lanky one, Mohawk, a chuckle. The Smoker turns to me and fakes a pout.

"What's the matter, kiddies? Thought your little slumber party could use a fun little adventure in the big city, huh?"

More laughter from the others. Fighting the returning impulse to roll my eyes, I instead take another subtle deep breath.

The woman is already answering her own rhetorical question with another fake pout and flick of her cigarette ashes. "Well, you ain't gonna find it here, so go on back to the farm now."

"We're looking for my sister."

My eyes jump to El in surprise but they quickly return to the group, not particularly eager to give away the fact I had no idea what she was talking about. Sister? I do have to applaud El's quick thinking, though, I suppose.

"Aw..." Mohawk jeers. "Shirley Temple lost her sister. So sad."

"I saw her. Here." She reaches into her bag, likely for the photograph clipping from Becky's. But they all tense.

"Uh-uh," The Muscle said suddenly. "Hand out of your pocket. Slow."

El complies and Mohawk rips the news clipping from her hand. "Give me that shit."

For the first time in this encounter, this man looks apprehensive. Seeing the photo was enough to shock him into temporary silence. And apparently this in itself is enough to lure the flannel woman forward to investigate for herself. Now, like the man, she is snatching the photo up with shock.

"Is that Kali?"

"Kali?" El asks.

Mohawk steps forward, visibly on edge. Taking advantage of his height, he towers over El with an impressive glare. I say nothing, but I mirror his actions─taking a step further into El's side with a tiny glare of my own.

"How did you find us?" He questions. "Who else knows you're here?"

El backs up slightly and suddenly I was jumping to speak. "No one knows we're here." I say.

"And no one was speaking to you, either," My face sours and he returns to El. "Is this true, Shirley Temple? So, what then? Poof! You just show up like magic with that picture?"

"Stay calm." Flannel warns. "They're just kids, alright?"

He turns on her quickly. "Some kids that could get us all killed."

Like that, his anger is back on El and he pulls something from his pocket. My eyes fall to the object in his hand and my heart sinks into my stomach.

"If I have to ask again, Shirley, you'll start losing things." He carefully unfolds the pocket knife, making sure we catch the light bouncing off the blade before waving it in El's face. "Starting with those pretty little locks of yours. Yeah?"

He's in more danger than we are. He's in more danger than we are--

I still look desperately between the man and his companions─it'd be helpful to know where they stand with the threatening of children. Each of them seemed uncomfortable with his actions in varying degrees, but it was Flannel, again, who stepped forward.

"Come on, Axe. Put down the knife." She warns, her voice getting sharper.

The blade grows closer towards El's face and my heart rate breaks hummingbird records. The man is only getting angrier.

"How did you find us?"

"I saw her." El's voice is rushed and shaky, but not completely fearful. I know why, and it's the only reason I haven't (completely) fallen apart.

He advances further, still with that stupid knife and everyone's voices begin to drown in the deafening roar of blood pumping in my ears. He's beside me now as El keeps backing away and I can't bring myself to move out of his way. I'm not sure yet if it's out of bravery or fear.

"That's not an answer!" He roars.

"Axe!"

I throw aside my common sense and step fully in between them, planting myself directly in his path. "Hey-!"

He freezes, wide eyes flying to his hand. My eyes follow, fearful I've done something unintentionally. But there's nothing. Just a shaky hand with a tiny blade. Yet Mohawk staggers backward, his blade-wielding arm extended as far away from himself as possible.

"Je-Jesus!" He huffs in ragged, near incoherent sqeaks. "Jesus Christ!"

He chucks the knife on the concrete behind us, the blade nearly nicking my legs. He looks up and down his torso, his face draining of color before our eyes. He frantically swipes at himself, several fearful squeals jumping from him. El and I share a look over my shoulder, confused.

"Get off! Shit!"

He is running across the room now, hunched over and desperately swatting at his head, face, and arms. I have to step back to avoid his path as he maneuvers around me and his companions have to do the same.

"You're a terrible dancer, Axel."

Everyone, including myself, turns towards the source of the newest voice. On the stairs, leaning on the banister with a sly smirk is another young woman. Half of her head is shaved, the other half tinted a dark purple. Like the others, she was dressed in grunge, but oddly, they didn't seem shabby or cheap.

The guy named Axel relaxes, only for a moment, before it evolves into anger. He smacks his head angrily and gestures towards her as she comes down the steps.

"I told you, Kali, stay out of my head. " He spits.

"So we're threatening little kids now, are we?" She asks, striding towards us.

"They know about you." Axel defends.

The Smoker─the one who mocked me─steps forward with the photo El had procured.

"Farmgirl here had this."

The new girl, the one I can only assume to be the one we were searching for, grabs the photo. If I had to guess, she is attempting to hide her shock.

El steps away from behind me and cautiously approaches her. I'm not entirely thrilled, nor surprised, to see this girl, Kali, sizing El up and down. I don't miss the quick inspection she gives me, either.

"Where did you get this?" She asks El.

"Mama," El answers, taking the photograph back and placing it in her bag.

"Your mother gave this to you?"

"In her dream circle," El says.

I raise my brow, and as I suspect the others don't take to it, or her very easily.

"Dream circle," Axel scoffs, pacing the room. "I think she's a schizo or something."

I'm beginning to believe this man is determined to be the biggest jackass in the room.

"Says she's looking for her sister."

"Yeah. Like I said, schizo."

There's a bitter taste in my mouth and an itch crawling up my back. The idea of holding back all this anger is withering before my eyes─every word this asshole says is added coal to the fire.

My glare follows him across the room as he bends to retrieve his knife. But the blade is flying through the air and into El's waiting hand before he can touch it. This almost makes me smile.

Mumbles of surprise bounce around the group, but I simply watch with pride building in my chest as El confidently folds the knife closed and hands it to the girl.

"I saw you. In the rainbow room."

Something in the girl's eye changes drastically. She begins to stalk around El before she stops halfway to stand beside her.

"What is your name?"

"Jane."

I can't say I was expecting that, yet I wait. I concentrate my energy on keeping my jaw clenched. I've been fighting my chattering teeth ever since we stepped into this lions den and the muscles in my jaw have now grown weak and sore.

Kali grabs El's left wrist and pushes back her sleeve revealing her tattoo. In turn, El reaches for Kali's sleeve. It's pulled back to reveal a tiny cluster of ink to match El's. I almost don't notice─the sight of El allowing anyone to touch her tattoo had floored me.

That is, until I finally catch the three black digits etched into Kali's skin, and my stomach twists.

It's not actually...? My wringing hands find a new focus: the loud and blank skin of my left inner wrist.

I'm not sure why I'm surprised by this, not if we came here in search of someone like El. Someone who lived through the lab experiments with El. But the sight of the 008 tattoo hits me a little hard. Is it because it makes this all the more real? Or was it because of the longing in El's eyes as they cloud over in tears?

Her lips begin to tremble as their gazes meet. "Sister."

Kali nods, breathless. "Sister,"

The two collapse into each other's arms and somehow I feel even more out of place here. It's inspiring to see; two sides of the same coin finally meeting. What each of them must have gone through─now free, now with one another. This is huge for El.

So why aren't I happy? And why does this feel like such a slippery slope?

There's no time to wonder, the two are breaking apart. Kali takes El's hands in her own, giving them a strong squeeze. The two smile at one another and my eyes fall to my feet, suddenly hyperaware of my myself and how I stand. The ends of my sweatpants are still soaked and the water in my shoes sponged up against my feet are frigid. Yet somehow, the stare of the others──the stare of Kali's──is what freezes me over.

"Jane, who is this?" She asks.

"Y/n. My friend."

Against instinct, against all comforting thought, I force myself to face her. Maybe I'm mistaken or just too damn hopeful, but the curiosity behind her eyes almost seems a bit more relaxed. Now with El's approval.

Hands still partially hidden in my jacket pocket, I send a tiny wave with my fingers and manage my best imitation of a smile.

"Hi," I mumble, trembling. Damn my chattering teeth.

The weight of Kali's stare is intimidating. I might not know the specifics of what makes her unique like us, but I can tell already her abilities aren't what make her powerful. She exudes that all on her own.

Kali looks me up and down and I almost convince myself my life depends on this one impression. And maybe it does.

Tearing me from my thoughts, Kali cocks her head and asks. "Why are you in pajamas?" She actually sounds, almost, amused? It's disarming.

"Short version?" I want to wince at the nervous chuckle that comes out involuntarily. But I'm too damn cold. And hungry. "We kinda had to make a quick get away."

Kali looks at me for a moment with an unreadable expression, though something tells me she understands. Another moment of uncertainty, seconds too long, and my mind runs in panicky circles. What did I say? What did I not say? Did I accidentally just insult her, her mother, and her entire existence without realizing? The part of my brain in charge of logic dismissed that theory almost immediately but unfortunately stress and fear were the perfect fuel for doubt, as always.

Kali confirms this with a chuckle that brought time back out of slow motion. She then turns to another one of the groups members─the one who had taken caution with El and her photograph─the Muscle. He is a wide-set man with the long braid and a kindly aura.

"Funshine, take this one upstairs and help them find some warm clothes. I'd like to talk to Jane. Alone."

Her eyes fall on me, her amusement dimming away and back to speculation.

El doesn't appear to be as hesitant as I would have anticipated her to be. She's lost in the euphoria of reuniting with Kali. The idea of a sudden separation strikes fear in me─something far more powerful than the silly doubts flashing in my mind moments ago. This was a pit seeding in my stomach, ready to grow.

The larger man nods and steps forward. Surprised, my eyes flicker back to Kali and she smiles reassuringly.

"Don't worry, he's nothing but a big softie," she says with a simper, turning and leaving with El.

"El...?" Was she really just gonna leave? The two slow, and El pulls her attention away from Kali and over her shoulder to me.

"It's okay," she promises. "I'll be back," And then she was dissapearing up the stairs, Kali's arm slung over her shoulder.

...Somehow that made it worse.

The man I've been instructed to go with is smiling warmly when I turn to him. It's the first I'm put at even the slightest of ease since arriving.

"Don't you worry, we'll find something warm for you," he says, his voice deep and kind. He makes way for the stairs, pausing at the bottom with a hand on the metal rail. He throws me a brief nod over his shoulder. "We should get you by a fire, too, and quick. Dangerous for you to be walking out here like that─you'll catch your death,"

Against all odds, I feel a tiny tug at the corners of my mouth─a smile itching to spread. It doesn't quite, not with the dread sitting in my stomach like a chunk of stone or my friend walking off with a stranger.

But now, with little choice, I do the same.

My footsteps fall in sync with his almost instantly as we climb the stairs. Silence falls quick and heavy over the open space apart from our differentiating gait hiking the metal steps. I'm peering over my shoulder without much thought for consequence, my eyes meeting with the other three strangers─each of them watch me.

The way they eye me turns my stomach. The Mohawk──Axel, and the Smoker, in particular.

There was the Flannel woman─the only other person here who seemed to care El and I were children. She may be the other exception. For one, she doesn't seem interested enough, and for that I'm grateful. But mostly, I don't forget her attempts to cool down this Axel.

His glare on me sharpens, but to my surprise, I don't wither beneath it. I'm brave enough (or stupid enough) to glare back. He twirls his knife expertly in his hands as I turn away, eliciting an unpleasant cackle from Smoker. I don't need any further reassurance these are two I need to worry about.

But that's already being pushed to the back burner─Funshine and I reach the second floor and round a poorly lit corner and that's when I spot the two figures down the catwalk a ways. El and Kali. They're making their way for another, steeper pair of stairs. Smiling and laughing, already.

A sudden voice cuts through my storm of thoughts and suddenly I'm back on earth. "Right this way, friend,"

Funshine directs me to one of the makeshift bedrooms to our right and something in me weakens when we step inside. The concrete room is bathed in turquoise and peach shadows casted from the neon lights gathered inside. Where I expected all concrete walls to close me in, I see wide (albiet dirtied) windows overlooking the first floor. But the lure of it all is a split between the king size nest of pillows and blankets in the center and the fire pit in the corner.

The sight of it all is dangerously persuasive and so is the sudden wail of my aching bones and the shudder down my spine, louder than they ever were. I'm wavering already, but I'm alert enough to realize the longing in my eyes as they rake across the bed and fire is obvious.

Funshine gestures towards the fire in the corner and ushers me along. "Go ahead and warm up. I'll be right back with some proper clothes." He says before turning.

I nod absently, far too entranced and eagerly gravitating towards the warmth now before me.

He leaves from where we came and disappears around the corner. I stifle a smile when I feel the heat washing over my body. Muscles I didn't even realize I had are melting as they meet the warm glow of the flames.

I'm not sure how long I'm standing there, but it must be several minutes at the least. Enough time for Funshine to return with a bundle of clothes in his arms.

"Here you are," I trail behind him to the bed where he drops the small mountain on the edge of the sunken mattress. "I gathered a few things that I thought might fit you best. Theres plenty of stuff in here, so you'll have options. But I insist you consider dressing in layers. It'll only get worse out there," He sends me another nod and begins to head back for the door. "Alright then. You get warm, now,"

And that's all he says. He's already heading for the door. I have a sudden fear I won't get another chance to speak with him. Or let the swell of gratitude I felt be known. I couldn't hold my tongue any longer, nor did I want to.

"Hey," I call out, growing nervous. "Um..." I winced a bit at my trailing voice.

He slows at the door and turns around, giving me a curious look.

"Thank you," I mumble, mustering a smile as grateful as I felt. "For the clothes. And-- well, everything, I guess."

Another friendly smile stretches across his face and once again he nods.

"You're certainly welcome."

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