#Because that's 100000% Ed
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so it’s no surprise that javid’s posts and potential teases make me take damage, but like...looking at the lyrics of walking on broken glass after he mentioned it?
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#Definitely not David Jenkins#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Revenge Rambles#I am VIOLENTLY SOBBING AND THROWING UP TBH#Like how do they manage to find INCREDIBLY perfect and accurate songs#Because that's 100000% Ed#And that's 10000% their situation#ALSO I KEEP FEARING FOR THE REVENGE RIGHT#SO THAT BOTTOM VERSE HAS ME SWEATING SOMETHING TERRIBLE LMAO#LIKE IF THAT GOES FROM METAPHORICAL TO LITERAL THEN I'LL BE OUT K THANK YOU#God I'm hurting because this is just making me that much more aware of how badly Ed is and WILL be hurting#And how stuck he's going to feel again#Walking on glass? No- I am in fact GNAWING ON GLASS NOW SHDJKLS#RIGHT AS WE SPEAK
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omg okay there are more of you guys interested in this baby carlos thing and to please the masses i bring you: baby carlos x the grid dynamics that no one asked for !!!
ALEX
james sends alex to try and gain favor for williams in the Custody Battle tm but when alex and carlos are in a room together it is BEYOND levels of awkward. alex dont know what to do with this baby and carlos is vv shy and would much rather go back to uncle max or fernando or nico. this, of course, changes when carlos learns that alex has 100000 pets and demands a videocall with all of them right now. after they bond the williams team is happy for .00001 second until they realize alex and carlos are just using their joint powers to escape social media duties more effectively
LANCE
lance is displeased at carlos taking fernandos attention all of the time. he doesnt admit it out loud but he is 100% beefing with a child and rants about him to esteban every night. carlos holds similar feelings towards lance for the same reasons . while not a truly hateful relationship the two are very passive aggressive towards each other (as much as you can be between an adult and a child) ESPECIALLY in front of fernando and stick their tongues out at each other behind his back
DANIEL
it takes a bit for carlos to warm up to/get used to the high energy and teasingness of daniel BUT ONCE HE DOES they quickly learn daniel is NOT to be trusted with carlos for long periods of time unsupervised. not because he is a genuine danger to carlos but because every time they leave him with daniel for more then 2 hours he comes back with a new curse word that “uncle daniel said not to tell!” or some new kind of prank that he pulls on a poor unsuspecting social media intern. daniel has singlehandedly taught carlos 5 curse words in the time that carlos has been small-ed. he also once left a half-empty red bull can out on the table which was immediately drank by carlos which launched a grid-wide game of tag as carlos raced around the paddock and turned into a game of hide and seek when carlos fell asleep inside a tyre pile. daniel has not been trusted with him since
#are these the main dynamics ??? no#but it came to me in a vision and what is a prophet to do except share my gifts with the wider world (f1blr)#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#alex albon#lance stroll#daniel ricciardo#baby carlos au#<- tag ??? maybe ???#thoughts and rambles
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Day 100000 of wishing people would stop making Ed insult Ling, a Chinese-coded character, by calling him "squinty eyes" because that SHIT'S SO RACIST OH MY GOD GUYS GET A GRIP
#I am. so tired.#y'all realize this is the equivalent of someone insulting Scar by calling him “red eyes” right? right??#fullmetal alchemist#fma#edward elric#ling yao#edling#the kat speaks#fandom racism#fandom bullshit
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A made-up fic title for you:
✨All That Glitters ✨
ok so my first instinct is to follow the too-good-to-be-true appeal/deception theme—modern au, ed’s a scammer who singles stede out online for his immense disposable income, establishes contact over text/internet, finds it astonishingly fun to build a rapport with him, and starts siphoning money earlier in the game than he ever has before. it’s a personal record. izzy’s chuffed. ed’s kind of meh about it.
unfortunately: this is a gentlebeard fanfiction and ed is falling in love with the mark.
he works independently and he’s good at what he does, so he’s not in any kind of debt; at this point in his life he’s scamming for scamming’s sake. he doesn’t need stede’s money for anything, he’s just kind of accumulating it and not using it. the thought of spending it doesn’t make him feel good. no particular reason.
izzy’s getting on him about extracting some higher figures from this guy already, and ed knows he’s right, he’s stalling. he’s gonna bleed this guy out. it’s what he does. it’s who he is. he doesn’t get to just walk away from it.
….stede, though. now, if stede walked away, well, not much ed could do about that. it happens. it would suck, but ruining stede’s life would suck more.
there’s two directions i can see things going from here and i’d probably decide based on which one lends itself to funnier problems:
1. ed starts accidentally-on-purpose getting sloppy. irreconcilable inconsistencies, weird places he’s asking stede to wire money, slipping in hints that he’s not legit, with increasing blatancy because as far as he can tell, all of these things are flying over stede’s head. they’re also flying over izzy’s head because he’s not good enough with people to notice the drop in quality.
2. they live in the same city, or at least the same general region of the country, so ed Coincidentally happens upon a Chance Meeting with stede in real life. totally randomly and not on purpose and good luck proving otherwise. stede has no idea who ed is but they hit it off immediately (again) and if ed had any doubts that he’s utterly in love with this guy then those have been obliterated by stede’s 100000 watt smile. they grow close. ed expresses some skepticism about jeff, stede’s very good friend jeff, who maybe seems a little sketchy? maybe he’s not who he says he is? but the thing is ed’s really good at what he does. so he’s having a hard time finding holes to poke in jeff’s story. and if he’s too unduly critical towards jeff then he’s just gonna look jealous—
actually now that i think of it option 2 followed by option 1 could work nicely. maybe i wouldnt have to choose
anyway. while all this is going on stede’s had his suspicions that his money was not going where jeff said it was going but he’s been going along with it anyway because jeff is really nice to talk to and because stede thinks it’s important that criminals work to uplift one another (in his spare time stede has been committing larceny.)
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I gotta rant about something that as a Olivia Benson fan first, really bothers me. Elliot would’ve NEVER left Kathy for Olivia. Ever. They had to kill her off to even give eo a chance. And I just feel like Olivia deserves better than that. Better than being somebody’s second choice. They can spin it however they want to. The facts will always be the facts. I don’t think Elliot would’ve ever looked twice at her (in a romantic way), had Kathy lived. I always did feel like Olivia loved him more than he did her. I also feel like that’s what scares her the most about Rafael, is for him she’s his first and only choice. And she’s never really experienced that type of unconditional love with anyone.
You’re 100000% correct. Elliot would’ve never given Olivia the time of day if Kathy was still alive. He had ample opportunity to leave her, to get a divorce, for god’s sake, the show was in season 12 when he left. He spent 12 years as Olivia’s partner, never once making a move, not even when he was separated. I don’t doubt that Elliot feels something for Olivia, I don’t doubt that he loves her in his own selfish way, but she is NOT the love of his life. If she was, if she was truly the woman he couldn’t live without, Italy wouldn’t have been far enough. When Kathy was leaving him, he continued to show up, and yes there is a difference because she had his kids, but also he wanted HER! As evidenced by them making Eli. Olivia has always been his work wife. The wife he goes to for emotional support so his real wife doesn’t see his demons, the toll the job takes on him. Rafael has always only had eyes for her.
He doesn’t have a wife and 5 kids holding him back. He doesn’t have the baggage of a failed relationship 15 years ago (Brian Cassidy) holding him back. He’s never going to ask her to give up her job to ride off into the sunset with him (Ed Tucker). If she let herself, if she truly let herself fall into him, she could be happy, loved, cherished, and that scares the shit out of her. Because who could ever love someone made from a monster? Who’s been broken over and over by countless evil men? Who could actually want her? Who would actually choose her? And Rafael is right there answering every single one of those questions with “me”, and that terrifies her. She’s never been loved unconditionally.
And the idea that somehow Kathy is the reason Elliot never pursued Olivia is ridiculous. The fandom paints Kathy as this jealous bitter wife who won’t let Elliot go, when she did!!! And then she didn’t even know for sure that Elliot and Olivia hadn’t talked in 10 years. She still praises their partnership on her deathbed. Elliot is the one who couldn’t let Kathy go. Elliot is the one who abandoned Olivia without a word because “her voice would’ve made him stay” as if her voice had ever been enough to make him choose her.
#asked and answered#law and order: svu#rafael barba#olivia benson#kathy stabler#this was honestly carthartic to read#and write#he had 23 years to leave his wife#and he didn’t#I love the rants#keep them coming
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RATING PIRATE FLAGS
By your friendly neighborhood pirate enthusiast. Remember the sources for most of these are often shoddy at best, we do with what we have.
1. EDWARD LOW
Spooky. Red. Makes your intent clear. Fitting for a man reputed for violence, sadism and a penchant for torture so strong he was compared to the Spanish Inquisition. 9/10 very Halloweeny.
2. EDWARD "BLACKBEARD" TEACH
Dramatic as fuck. Who hurt you, Ed? Also why is the devil so skinny. This design is a good idea but maybe a bit messy. 6/10 solid flag but makes me think of 2000s emo album covers.
3. STEDE BONNET
Meh. It tries to be symmetrical but fails because the dagger and heart aren't the same size. Trying too hard to be original but with no real creativity. 4/10 you bougie bitch.
4. BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS
Very cool design. Always dubious of putting your own image on the flag, but overall the execution is good. You have the captain pointing at the hourglass to signify your time is up with Death by his side. 8/10 supervillain flag.
5. BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS AGAIN
NOOO NO NO. This looks goofy as hell, Barty. The letters are supposed to stand for "A Bahamian's head" and "a Martinican's head" but putting letters on a flag is gauche. The flaming sword looks like a cactus. 2/10 You can't just draw yourself standing on the skulls of your enemies holding a flaming sword and expect people to take you seriously Bartholomew
6. SAMUEL BELLAMY
The classic. Can't go wrong with it. Points deducted bc a bunch of people used it and it's impossible to tell who started it. 5/10, neutral
7. OLIVIER "LA BUSE" LEVASSEUR
WHAT in the reverse slenderman is this shit? Get that out of my sight you French bastard. 100000/10 it lives in my nightmares.
8. HENRY EVERY
BLACK. IT'S CALLED THE BLACK FLAG ASSHOLE. Otherwise, it's a solid design, unique and simple. 6/10 unusual but not bad.
9. JEAN THOMAS DULEAIN
Just no. Too much stuff. Three skulls is nice but then you add all the other things and it becomes a confusing mess. Pick one thing and stick to it. 3/10 what the hell
10. JAQUOTTE DELAHAYE
We don't even know if she was real but what I do know is that this design fucks. Dancing with Death over a bleeding heart? Showing your prey that they're going to be bested by a lady? I stan. 11/10
#golden age of piracy#Edward low#edward teach#Blackbeard#stede bonnet#Samuel bellamy#Olivier Levasseur#Jaquotte delahaye#Henry every#Jean Thomas duleain#bartholomew roberts#Pirates
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Hiiii, quick question, I’d really like to start a Eddie Munson x reader series but with a chronically ill reader, but I wanna know if anyone would read it. It would be very angsty but also fluffy and maybe some smut here and there but it would delve very deep in to the truth that a lot of disabled people feel unloveable, even tho we 100000% are it’s still a thought that hangs in many of our heads that we are “too much”. Basically the premise of the series is Eddie proving to reader that he loves her so fucking much, and that he loves loving her and everything that includes. At first reader would push him away because of her self deprecating beliefs but Eddie is relentless in proving that she is just as worthy and deserving of love as anyone else. I would try and be as non-descript as possible with what illness reader has. I personally have pots, eds, fibro, fnd, and Endo and feel Eddie would be the best boyfriend and care taker. Let me know if y’all would read!
#paranormalactivity5#fanfic#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson fluff#chronic illness#chronic pain#disability#chronically ill#potsie#hypermobile eds#fnd#fibromyalgia#endometriosis#x chronically ill reader#x reader#disabled writer#Eddie Munson x chronically ill!reader
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AACHRIA.
WHAT.
WDYM ACE WAS STILL KIDNAPPED AND TAKEN AND MIGHT DIE.
☹️
im in so much agony.
what the hell man ☹️
ALSO SABO (semi, he never got clarification 💀) KNOWING LUFFY AND ED ARE MARRIED LETS GOOOO 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥⁉️⁉️⁉️
SABO AND ED DYNAMIC IM IN LOVE.
imma be so fr i understood maybe half the plan. like i got it, i kinda know whats happening, but thats only for phase one..... phase two and three im so fucking lost they both said sm and i felt my mind explode. i forgot to read half the sentences and my mind was so blown i just decided to not go back and read them even though they will probably fix me and make me realize exactly whats going on LMAO
i once again request a 10k chapter, although still no threats bc im scared of my weird dream curse �� which i still have..... its better tho- its evolved into tumblr becoming a weird celestial being because when it said ur discontinuing ur fic as an ad and caused chaos people ended up worshipping tumblr to try and get you to keep writing ur fic- so no longer a nightmare just a really weird dream.... 😭
UR SO AWESOME, AND SO COOL, AND I LOVED THIS CHAPTER, I READ IT INSIDE THE MOVIE THEATER FOR THE DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE MOVIE BC I COULDNT WAIT (10/10 movie btw) UR FIC IS AMAZING 100000/10 MAKE ME SOB NEXT CHAPTER 💞💞
Teehee. Be so honest with me did you think I would just leave that prime angst real estate unpoked?
Poor Sabo will get real answers one day. Hopefully. He was so damn much fun to write I just love him. Him and Ed are the two smartest people you know who also happen to be the most unstable and likely to cause an international incident by being a lil silly and goofy.
That plan... oh that plan. Writing that plan was fun and I got very carried away. I was terribly proud of myself for remembering half the shit in there before I had to pull up the wiki, and the Enies Lobby bit will be my smartest move until the next time I do something remotely smart.
Baby I'm going to hold your hand as I say this because I am being so for real, at this point if you are still having this dream every night you need to genuinely consider seeking professional help. That's not normal or healthy. Talk to a therapist or guidance councilor or something.
I hope to god you mean before the movie started or when it was done because if you had your phone out while that movie was playing I will be very disappointed. I wanted to go see it this week with my mom but it didn't end up happening ✊😔 I did rewatch both Top Gun movies though. Love those.
#sssbmty#one piece#one piece ocs#with all the love in my heart please talk to someone with a license because this is getting ridiculous#also stop telling me to write 10k you shit I'm trying to NOT get carried away over here
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tag your most hard working fic writing mutuals uWu
Oh, buddy, I am friends with SO many extremely talented writers who work their absolute butts off to give us incredible fic and I know I'm going to miss people, so I'm going to cheat a bit and rec some recent-ish fics written by beloved mutuals. Would 100% encourage you to check out the linked story and then their entire collection of works because they are all fab. 💕
The Detectorists AU by @monksofthescrew. Two-part metal detecting AU. It is so atmospheric, so rich and tender and nuanced with some really incredible timey wimey stuff intertwined. I'm a little biased because I beta read these, but I think of them so often. Just a master class in story telling.
Respawn by @glamaphonic. This is SUCH a fun AU where Ed and Stede are both streamers. The concept works SO well, and the flirting and banter is top-tier. I know next to nothing about video games and I've still been able to follow along easily, squeezing my cheeks and kicking my feet the entire time.
wanna fly away (I don't know where my soul is) by @ghostalservice and @petrichorca. Speaking of fics I love where I know nothing about the concept, this is an Animorphs AU where Stede is just the most precious alien whom I would 100000% die for. It's such a fun, rich, layered story and I'm eagerly awaiting to see where it goes. Also just love this description of it: Our story is about finding one’s place in the universe (actually and figuratively), plays with the transformative nature of morphing and the power to change one’s body, and explores two individuals from wildly different backgrounds falling in love.
Moonstone Mage Championship by @blakbonnet. Holy crap, the WORLD BUILDING. Meow's mind is a wonder. I truly don't know how she does it, but I am literally in awe of her work on this fic. One of the most creative and detailed stories I've ever read.
Different Names for the Same Thing by @oatmilktruther. I have been rotating this fic in my brain ever since it was posted. I don't even have proper words to describe how gorgeous it is. It's basically my soul now. Abs' gift for blending humor and tenderness and making you feel the love between Ed and Stede is unparalleled.
My Father's House by @trans-top-stede. Owen describes this as "a t4t theatre au (kind of)" because it is about theatre, but it's mostly about gender and families and the healing power of queer art" and YES. It's beautiful and tender and hot and that last line has stuck with me ever since it was posted.
Gold Rush by @abigailpents. Potentially the sweetest AU I've ever read. Just pure love and romance. Just let yourself get swept away. It is lovely.
Tree Change by @clairegregoryau. I am constantly in awe of all the work Claire puts into her fics. She is operating on a whole other stratosphere and it's incredible to watch. Tree Change is a little teaser for what promises to be an incredibly unhinged Kinktober and I am just rubbing my hands with glee for what's to come. (ba dum tss.)
Matching spark and flame by @bizarrelittlemew. My current read that I am devouring, it's so fucking good. Everything Ida creates is just pure magic, and this one is no exception. Also extremely excited for the OFMD Fic Club discussion on this one later in the month, so be sure to read and join the server so you don't miss out.
I know I'm missing a bunch, but this list is already getting long and I need to get back to some beta work. Kissing all my writer mutuals on the forehead and giving them all the good writing vibes. May your muses be ever loquacious and cooperative. 💕
#asks#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd fic rec#lol I knew tumblr was going to mess up my formatting I just knew it#it's fine#anyway have a reading list these are all amazing#I know I'll think of more to add in about 3 minutes but#going forth!
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hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them
oooh bet u thought i forgot about u anon. i didn’t. i’ve been here. scheming and plotting. and i am soooo full of love to give. hold onto your hats
i’m putting the gushing under a cut because this post is getting too long haha whoopsie
@tisziny my darling beloved and dearly cherished friend. one of the first people to reach out to me and i am eternally grateful for their wonderful heart and friendship. my sweetest cheese! 🧀 an incredibly skilled writer and artist who i sincerely admire <3 not enough words to describe my love for them tbh
@skysofrey kaitlin my beautiful and cherished friend and wife. we were cut of the same cloth and then separated at birth but we defied to odds and joined forces anyway! so insightful and kind and sweet and hilarious and overall wonderful (and also sooooo pretty have u guys seen my wife she’s sooooo pretty wtf) 🖤💜❤️
@blackbeardskneebrace miles blackbeardskneebrace the absolute marvel that you are <3 so incredibly nice and extraordinarily talented! every time they post art it adds 100000 years to my lifespan and puts tears in my eyes. genuinely astounding
@blakbonnet despite the angst and antagonising me for Ed’s beard, i will always love Meow with my whole chest. and she can do it all!!! she writes, makes art, makes gifs! she’s even funny and smart and hot and NICE! save some for the rest of us babe come on <3
@gentlebeard ohhhh my sweet wonderful Ella (now with a new and improved url!) so incredibly kind and friendly! always willing for a hot makeout session in the bathroom and will gladly kill someone to defend your honour (i’ve seen her do it). makes edits that make you laugh and then WHABAM!! another that makes you feel like your lungs are being pulled out. love you ella <3
@snake-snack-stede we all know that olivia is the funniest mfer on this whole idiot website. it’s literally not even a contest. but did you guys know she’s also extraordinarily talented? she makes art and animates and makes edits that are gorgeous to look at. also i’m in love with her. she’s the sweetest candy apple at the fair and i’m a snot-nosed kid with an appetite.
@flightoftheconnie sex on legs. i become hot and flustered and feint when i think of her. makes me blush and giggle and kick my feet and she’s funny and smart and hot enough to be in a gallery but she’s here with us instead. give her kisses or die by my sword
@bizarrelittlemew we may not talk often but goodness gracious do i adore you 🥹 my god you’re hilarious and you make some of the most gorgeous gifs ive ever put my gay little eyes on. and yet another blessing to the world of ofmd fanfic <3
@saltpepperbeard JODI!!!!!! if jodi has a billion fans i’m one of them. if she has 100 fans i’m one of them. if Jodi has 0 fans then i’m dead. literally so sweet and kind and enthusiastic and an absolute treasure. and my GOODNESS can she write!! her work feels like a warm hug (just like her!)
@sherlockig literally too hot to be on the hellsite with us but we are so blessed to have her. an absolute TREASURE to this fandom and to anyone who knows her. the amount of lockscreens i’ve got that are just alexz screengrabs is absolutely insane. thank you for all your work i love you forever
@dickfuckk josh — a living breathing legend. any time you need a file? a link? an image? josh has got your back. one of the funniest people i’ve ever interacted with. also makes edits devastating enough to kill a man <3
@xoxoemynn Em my wonderful Cherub From Heaven!!! pure charm and grace, and one of the most enthusiastic and delightful people i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. such an accomplished and skilled writer as well!
@vampirebutterflies my #1 date to the observatory and my partner in crime <33 so effortlessly funny and kind and has the best taste in music ever. every single song they’ve sent me has been an absolute banger and has been put in the frequent rotation (huge shoutout to Vacations)
@bunnyandthejets my dear and darling friend Bunny who is so incredibly kind and sweet. has been so vocally supportive and enthusiastic since we met and i’m so grateful to have her friendship and support. she’s also made me cackle like an insane person on enough occasions to be criminal.
@wearfinethingsalltoowell don’t let the angst fool you, Joy is actually wonderful and a ray of sunshine <3 i’m convinced she just enjoys causing us pain for fun. she’s creative and wonderful and the World’s Number One Olu Enjoyer (and therefore objectively correct)
@sassygwaine is one of those unabashedly kind souls who simply oozes love into everything they do and create. so genuine and resilient and smart!!! writes like an absolute dream too
@chocolatepot a complete sweetheart who was one of my first friends in this fandom, and who has been consistently friendly and supportive ever since. unwaveringly kind and nice. also her writing. oh my god. 😭 a huge inspiration to silly little me
@jellybeanium124 nina is so effortlessly hilarious. she’s had me giggling and twirling my hair on numerous occasions. she’s also full to the brim with good and correct takes. (also a Button’s truther and the world needs more of those.)
@awkward-fallen-angel heather is just soooo lovely!! another one of the people that’s been here since the very early days and i’m always so grateful for her insight and enthusiasm and the sheer joy she puts into everything.
@stedebonnets i mean this so sincerely and with my whole heart: Ara is one of the nicest and most loving people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. an absolute angel who drops in to consistently check on her friends and spread love and joy. we need more Ara’s in the world. also has one of the most beautiful ofmd tattoos i’ve ever seen <3
if you haven’t been included in this list, please know that i love you so so so dearly and that i genuinely am just a little bit stupid (on account of the short term memory issues lol). if you’re feeling left out, send me a message and i’ll say something sooo niceys about you 🥹 i love you all. thank you for being here. <3
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You have no idea how much your answer helped me. Truly, thank you so much. I was so so stressed. I really want to manifest my dream life but it seemed so far fetched and I was not making any kind of progress, despite being here for years now. It felt like I was just consuming info. I just realized that I’ve come across Be Something Wonderful several times but I never checked it out because the thumbnail and title felt kinda gimmicky and law of attraction-ey. But I will watch the videos you’ve suggested.
I used to struggle with ‘feeling it REAL’. I see every states based blog talk about making it feel real and it made me question if I was doing it right. Another thing was the emphasis on invoking the feeling of being calm and knowing that comes once you’ve shifted your state and made the state your dwelling place. I felt like I was forcing fulfillment. I agree that ed art definitely interprets Neville really well but I struggled to apply the info. And even Neville, towards the end talked more about faith and focusing on who you are. So it confused me when everyone made so many rules about what to feel.
Thank you for hearing me out. I was so confused and was response has helped a lot<3
ah, i'm so glad to hear that helped!
yeah, neville even says that when he talks about feeling, he's not speaking of emotion but of the acceptance that your desire is yours, but even that can feel unclear at times that acceptance has to "feel" a certain way in terms of sensations in the body and mind. and i have 100000% been there where i've been obsessed with what's happening "inside me" and seeing it as something that needs fixing because i struggled to believe, have faith, accept, etc. and that just turned into a downward spiral of me judging myself as unfulfilled.
then i once heard tom talk about the difference between confidence and conviction, and i realized i was always chasing the emotional high of "feeling good re: my desire." but when you focus on being convicted that you are your desired self, that knowing is immovable. and sure, you can have doubts, limited thoughts, and blegh feelings that move through, but you know that these are always changing, so you don't have to get attached to them. i used to remind myself a lot, not every feeling needs a narrative. not every sensation i'm having needs a whole story wrapped around it and lord alive, especially not one of nonfulfillment!
tom's video today talks about the difference between being a prophet, someone who can speak the law but feels separate from it, versus being the messiah, someone who is one with the law. and it made me think of your first ask, tbh. his content focuses on the law above all laws, even above the law of assumption, and that's the law of being: who and what are you conscious of being?
the good news is that you, the son of god who is one with all possibilities and all moments in the divine mind, can choose who you are, and it will instantly be so. remember, there's only one divine moment that our awareness is seeing from infinite vantage points. memories are just imaginal acts, and imaginal acts are just memories of the allness that you already are. so, there's no horizontal linear past of "failure" and nonfulfillment that you have to attach yourself to. there's no 4 years of struggle unless you continue to call it forth and place it here as part of your experience here and now.
you can decide and declare in this very instant that you've always been perfect at executing the law because you are the law. you've always been fulfilled and living your dream life because you are already all lives and all possibilities. an affirmation i've been loving recently is "i am that i am, who is living their dream life." because i am! i am the i am who is living the life of their dreams! because i am all dreams.
feelings are irrelevant to your fulfillment because your fulfillment just is—it's all that is. there are no conditions that must be fulfilled. no great subconscious that needs to be impressed. no higher power that must be appeased. you are eternal, absolute, and total fulfillment because your I AM awareness guaranteed that. that's the real power of robotic affirming. it's not about being mindless or affirming in vain; it's about choosing to be who you desire to be regardless of the emotional activity happening within the physical body and mind.
you got this! you always have. you've always been fulfilled. you just have to remember yourself as you desire to be. :) no go enjoy your dream life!
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GET TO KNOW ME
Thanks for the tag @dracopetal and sorry i took 100000 years to extract this from my drafts 😭
Nickname: asked my bestie and she said she has my name set to 'wormtail simp' on our msging app rn so i guess that's my nickname
Zodiac sign: Libra
Height: 5'5
Last thing I Googled: 'jjk ed 3 lyrics english'
Amount of sleep: 8 hours 😌
Dream job: Retirement but if that's not an option then Author
Favourite song: rn it's '505' by Artic Monkeys
Movie/book that describes me the most: honestly i cant think of anything
Favourite instrument: Cello
Favourite aesthetics: does this mean for interior design? I like mid-century modern...
Favourite author: CS Pacat
Random fun fact: candles smoke after you blow them out because the glowing wick has enough heat/energy to continue breaking up wax molecules briefly but not the carbon (while the candle is lit, most of the carbon gets transformed into carbon dioxide)
I'm just realising that fun fact was meant to be about me, but I can't think of anything so we'll leave it at that.
Tagging: im sure everyone has done this by now but you're welcome to do it if you see this
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tagged by @ireallyamabear and echoing the sentiment: are you sure you want to know me? Well here goes :)
rules: answer and tag 9 people you want to catch up with/get to know better
favorite color: I'm a sucker for BRG
last song: Das Kapital - Blindsker
currently reading: I read a chapter of Moby Dick! Liked it. Read a couple of poems from a compilation of contemporary women poets from Georgia, mainly got annoyed because That's Not How I'd Translate That. Reading some other poems for work, and a novel which I'm *really* enjoying, and a tome on medieval Irish law has just landed in my intray, which...doesn't sound thrilling, but who knows. But my ability to sit down and just enjoy a book for fun still hasn't returned from the war.
currently watching: two episodes left of s3 of The Expanse to finish, we got delayed thinking we'd carry on watching with my mum when she comes to visit but never got round to it so finally caved and started just watching for ourselves. Now Ed's away for three weeks, so that'll be on hiatus again. I'll be catching up with Doctor Who, finally working up the emotional strength for S2 of In The Flesh and maybe, if Netflix stops being such a whiny bitch about me renewing my subscription, I *will* renew my subscription because I'm curious about Scavengers Reign. And I *really* need to catch up with IWTV.
currently craving: prev's answer was €100000 which I can't really say I'm not craving but, otherwise, the feeling of being deeply mired in progress on part 2 of the saga au rather than being stuck chipping my way through the opening chapters. Oh god, also some actual summer weather. Please. I know this is Ulster, but constant rain, north winds, and highs of 13C in June, really? *sob*
coffee or tea: coffee. black. no sugar.
no pressure tags for nine of you plus anyone else who wants to say I tagged them: @distressednoise, @erinaceina, @boatcats, @stripedroseandsketchpads, @notabuddhist, @kheldara , @batri-jopa , @sailorsally , @jimtheviking
#tag meme#thanks for the tag buddy!#on my four hour bubbi morthens best of to get through the day yeah#Spotify
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so ive been getting really into percy jackson lately and i thought itd be fun to combine that interest with fma and assign a bunch of characters a godly parent. this is for funsies so dont take it too seriously
ed and al: first of all they definitely have the same godly parent. but i could see them as a wide variety of options. zeus (thunder and the sky) because the lightning that comes with alchemic transmutations and the prodigy child reputation, athena (strategic war and useful crafts) for their smarts and battle sense, nike (victory) for their determination to achieve their goals
winry: hephaestus (fire and mechanics) 100000%
mustang: hermes (thieves and travelers) okay hear me out about this one- hes pretty sneaky and is constantly making connections. yeah hephaestus is fire but hes not good enough with machines so no
hawkeye: apollo (music healing and archery) bc of her kickass sharpshooting
maes: athena or maybe even hebe (youth)
ling: hermes
lan fan: ares (war) for her skill with weapons
scar: nemesis (revenge)
if you want me to do more feel free to suggest characters or even give your own ideas
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It's none of my business but the other day you posted about reaching out to a therapist for your ed. Just wondering if you went through with that. You seem like a really cool person so I hope all is well
TRIGGER WARNING
AH AN UPDATE!!!! I have one!!!
SO, the clinic reached back to me & I didn’t get the best news I wanted to hear as to what they thought was the best path of recovery to take. It was basically decided I should go inpatient which makes me feel so many emotions. Anger at myself, at my younger self for starting this shit & romanticizing it. Fear because I don’t want that at all - obviously. A lot of fear over cost, what about my job I WORKED SO HARD TO GET INTO, what about me having to pay rent but not being able to work. It makes my head spin. It makes me sick. It’s been something that really just sucked more life out of me. BUT that clinic didn’t have any beds atm so they referred me else where.
I called another clinic & asked about the cost of inpatient. I’m so desperate to fucking be free from my god damn ed that maybe I’d be willing to take a month away to get help. They said they were going to run my insurance & call me back with an estimate - they never called me back but you bet your ass imma follow up because I’m DONE suffering.
Which leads me to where I am at now in my journey of truly actually getting my mental health together FOR REAL. I have an in person therapy appointment Thursday with someone new. I was selfish and chose a female therapist to make me more comfortable instead of being like, “oh whatever” & getting a man & 100000% be uncomfortable (sorry male doctors. Truly nothing against you & all respect to your work/practice. It’s just a mind thing, I swear). I was BRUTALLY honest on my intake form as to why I was seeking therapy, what I have been feeling, & what I’m looking to get out of therapy. And I plan to be brutally honest with the therapist because I am so so so tired of being a prisoner of my mind. Tired of years passing by that could have been filled with more memories if I weren’t so stuck in my toxic way.
A lot of my current eating disorder problems have changed from when I was younger. At first, it was about being skinny skinny skinny & not eating & exercising & achieving control/“that look”. But I’m an adult now & I know I can’t do that or I’ll literally fucking die & all my dreams I worked so hard for will go to waste. So my eating disorder became a horrible “habit” I say now. I won’t go into details because I’m ✨not a thinspo✨ BUT what I’m trying to get to is my panic attacks relate a lot to my eating/ed and I think talking to someone about my patterns, triggers, and fears will help guide me to getting fully away from the point of maintaining where I’m at essentially. That’s what I want to try first before I fully commit to inpatient. And if it takes weekly sessions, fuck the cost. For myself, my cloud, and my future, I’ll do it. (So if I post my onlyfans, hml to help pay for my therapy✨✨) I plan to quite frankly because that’s what I feel I need.
So that’s the current update🙂
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Filled up the entire challenge card! I feel accomplished! The rules this time were that I had to comment on and link each of the fics I read here. So here they all are!
Old fic: Slow Life by stereobone. First-time Eruri. Luckily, the aot fandom is vast and the fanfic libraries are deep—there are plenty of “old” fics for me to find!
<1000 hits: A Real Lasting Legacy by dibs_on_erwin. Reincarnation/teashop AU, not as fluffy as it first appears. I actually had the pleasure of beta-ing this fic before its debut on ao3, so seeing its final form was an extra treat!
Fandom classic: The Echo There of Me and You by Shoi. An Eruri ghost story. I’m told it’s a classic, and being relatively new to the fandom I simply have to trust what I’m told. Very enjoyable!
Underdog trope: The Human Touch by Cherry. I am usually not a fan of sci-fi or android AUs. However, this one grabbed me just right—and presented me with enough clues that I have a pretty good idea of where the story’s going to go. It’s been…seven years since it was updated, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
Rare character/pairing: A Third Person Watches Them by Flight. Erwin/Eren with some voyeurism thrown in. It’s funny that a pairing with over 400 works on ao3 is considered a rarepair in this fandom. But I explored, I enjoyed, and now I’m going to devour more of these 400 fics!
Free square: I don’t have to put anything for this one, but it’s fun to! I persuaded a friend to post a snippet of their depraved fic idea, which I then proceeded to scream over.
AO3 archive warning: Purity by Anonymous. Dark Eruri. I’m always down for some noncon! I screamed aloud on several occasions with this one.
New fic: Cartographical Prowess by Tierfal. This one was actually part of the Fandom Trumps Hate auction earlier this year—I got to request some fluffy Elricest, and oh man did I get what I asked for! I had a blast with this one.
<1000 words: Schizophrenia by Indebt. Eruri. A bite-sized look at grief and mental illness.
New (to you) author: Sinful Thoughts by cozyreinsfw. Elricest. I met this author on discord a few days ago, and already they’ve posted multiple works for my otp! I am an instant fan.
>10000 words: Kraków by calacreda. Mafia AU. This one I’ve been chewing on for months. The tags say, “This is the gritty depressing horny evil!eruri fic you've been dreading,” and the tags do not lie. I cannot wait to see where this fic goes next!
Underdog pairing: Offering by orphan_account. I’m not a fan of Ereri. Generally at all. But since I like to push my limits, I’ve tried a few out. And this one? A lovely, dark premise that I can get behind.
Outside your fandom: Hot Weather Groove by Beehive Citizen. I jumped over to read some Cowboy Bebop! Ed is adorable in this fic.
1st person POV: For if I am not yours, what am I? by LuvAtFirstRead. Eruri. I am Not a 1st person enjoyer generally, but this piece had such lovely, evocative imagery—and the EMOTIONS! I love when a fic makes me horny and depressed at the same time.
Underrated fave: on wanting by underfallingflowerpetals. Some of the best Elricest I’ve read! I’ve actually already commented on this work, so I left a second comment saying how much I enjoy rereading this fic. Now, granted, it’s not on any reclists because it’s a relatively new fic, and the Elricest fandom hasn’t made any reclists in…almost a decade now. (I should change that. This fic’s going on it.)
>100000 words: baby I’ll come back to you by elizaham8957. Jonerys—a…Jonas Brothers AU?Another epic that is years in the making! I met this author via another fandom we shared, and at this point I’ll read anything she writes.
I had a blast with this challenge over my holidays. Thanks as always to @thehighfiveproject for the card—it’s fun to step outside my normal fanfic boundaries a bit!
#fandom boost bingo#fanfic#when i go back to work i can tell my students about all the fanfics i read over the break#(this is a JOKE)#(but it was still time well spent!)
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