#Because singing killed my grandma ok?!

[able-remedious]

Pompon: why don’t you like lemonade?!

Azulin: because lemoned killed my mom ok?!

Pompon: …

Azulin: now leave me alone

Gordi: 😶

Sonrisas: 😬

Pandi: 💀

Maria: 🦄

Achuchones: my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once

Gordi: 🤨

Maria: 💀

Pompon: how did, lemonade kill your mom? What flavor was it?

Azulin: I gave her a poisoned one

Pompon: 😳

Gordi: 😱

[skuzzinfish]

[d0rky-0utfits]

💀 bro couldn't even do that

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

I've got so many thoughts about Fear and I'm trying not to say them all because it's mostly complaining and confusion.

I will say. The um. Dialogue?

[nandysparadox]

why not why wont you sing because singing killed my grandma okay now leave me alone my uncle broke his neck tapdancing once how did singing kill your grandma what song was she singing i was the one singing and i need your now tonight and i need you more than ever that day i was so lost in song i didnt hear my grandma trying to warn me branch watch out we’ll only be making it right cause we'll never be wrong watch out branch aaahhh grandma once upon in a time there was light in his life but now theres only love in the dark nothing he can say

DFYFHSHSFHFHKHFSHS?????

[kairithemang0]

The Hive: Why won't you sing??? Paul, trying to think of an excuse: Because singing killed my grandma ok???

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

fav part of the first trolls movie is from the same scene as “BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OK?” but it’s after he explains and then poppy is like “i’m so sorry branch. i just assumed you had a terrible voice” and he’s like “no, no. it was like an angel’s 😔”

[yakumtsaki]

Oh yay, our first thunder fire in the new house, wonder how long before someone dies again! Also love how you can see our old house in the background, a reminder you can run from your past but you can’t escape it. 

I am of course talking about this family’s past of semi-acceptable interactions between family numbers, because from now on is where things really go off the rails in this department. Allow me to introduce you to..

..Julian and Stacy’s daughter, Sunset Tinker-Union! (Because her parents wear pink and purple, get it? Get the name origin?) So the minute Bartholomew brought Sunset from school I knew it was over for me, as we’re now far enough removed from the other branches of the family tree that not even the extended family mod can save us from all those third cousins being fair game.. and you all know full well that if there’s one thing this family knows how to do, is be attracted to their distant cousins-

-I held out to one tiny hope that maybe Barflina will continue being socially incompetent losers and Sunset will hate them, but no, the minute a distant cousin enters the building it’s clearly time to turn up the charm. So first Bartholomew goes and smustles with Sunset, which, Barth, I didn’t know you were even like, biologically capable of having fun in any way-

-and then Felina (who I keep forgetting is SHY LOL WHAT) goes over to ADMIRE HER. BRO. I have never seen Felina do anything remotely nice her entire life, KILL ME.

But don’t worry, Sunset clearly takes after auntie June! She’s into it! She follows Barth to the toilet for no clear reason! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

So you at this point you might be like ya ok, calm your tits, there’s no guarantee anything will even happen. To which I reply go back and read, not even the whole thing, just our college runs, and then get back to me. We’ve been knocking on semi-incest’s door since generation 1 and now we don’t even have to knock, I mean the door is wide open! FML

ANYWAY, all this to say, it’s time to extremely focus on finding these two flops non-related-to-us people to date before we fuck off to college, and this is ALL I’m gonna be doing this update- 

-Like haha oh man Cyn and Sandy are starting a rock band, there’s def jokes here, NO. NO TIME, DON’T CARE, HAVE TO AVERT DISASTER.

-Failina, hold your goddamn notebook closer so I can copy, it’s hard with my eyepatch! -It’ll be even harder when I take your other eye out!

Alright you two.. uh.. awesome kids, let’s go out! 

-Go out where. -And WHY.

So you can have fun, meet people, maybe sing some karaoke or play bowling! You’ve seen how much fun your ancestors have had as teens out and about, driving drunk, being hoes, committing various crimes, you wanna miss out on that experience? It’s even how grandma Shajar met grandma Sophie and that marriage could not be stronger!

-Ugh ok, I guess I do need to get started on the spouse hunt. -And I would like to get drunk in a different setting than our library.

Perfect! Who knows, by the end of the night, you might even be besties singing duets like Jojo and Gunther!

Oh my- WE LITERALLY JUST GOT HERE. WHAT CAN YOU TWO POSSIBLY BE FIGHTING ABOUT

-SCREW YOU, DAVID OTTOMAS IS MINE -NO, HE’S MINE, HE’S THE ONLY TEEN SIM IN THE LOT AND I HAVE SENIORITY -THE HELL YOU DO

OK LET’S GO HOME

-SCREW YOU, I WANNA OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR -THE DOOR IS MINE, YOU CAN’T EVEN DRIVE YET

OMG LITERALLY STOP. I LEARNED MY LESSON, I’M NEVER MAKING YOU INTERACT AGAIN

Once again, I’m crawling back to Lakshmi! Finally she has returned to us! As you might recall I had to deal with her understudy, Margaret, and frankly she was better than Lak at her job but it just wasn’t the same. Lakshmi and I have HISTORY. We have a deep, dark, beautiful relationship-

-I’m not giving you a discount. 

UGH FINE. Take 5k of our last money (I forgot to mention the new house somehow cost 500K, we legit have like 20k left)-

-and hit us with your best shot!

-Oh, I will! 

Ok but you’ve said that before and I’m still not over the time I paid you 5k for June and you gave us iVan. 

-No, this time I mean it! The path is clear! 

The ‘path is clear’?? The path for FELINA’S love life is clearer than it was for June the literal model-hot genius???

-Indeed!

I gotta say, Lakshmi, your mouth better not be writing checks your crystal ball can’t cash.

-It is not, I promise! 

Alright, I’m waiting, do it to us-

OH

MY

GOD

IT’S MEADOW

THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS THIS IS ALREADY HILARIOUS. LAKSHMI YOU ARE FORGIVEN FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU’VE EVER PULLED ON ME

Bro this pairing is KILLING ME. Like I get it on paper since they’re both family sims and I guess their chemistry panels and zodiacs must insanely match too, but I thought Felina would get with someone like idk. Gvaudoin? Alegra Gorey? Klara Vonderstein? Maybe the Diva or a vamp NPC? Like you know what I mean, someone that makes sense with the whole dark queen powerful dynasty blabla she has going on. But no, she’s gonna start this house Lannister bs her LTW is about with.. MEADOW THAYER. I love it so much, Felina please don’t ruin this for us!

FELINA WTF DID I JUST SAY

-Sorry, but I don’t know you well enough to accept you touching my shoulder, huhu!🌞

-But if you want to tickle me again, that’s somehow more acceptable to me despite it involving way more touching!🌞

Alright, as I suspected, not a lot going on upstairs with dear Meadow, but it’s ok, I’m just glad to have a huhuing sim around again, Cyn is like 80yo :(

Ah, the tickling of love! Good job, Fel, now we can work our way up to flirting-

-Or I can just not be a turbocuck AND GO FOR IT

Man, the Sophie genes kicked in! Good for you, Fel!

Backyard karaoke time! Seriously what song could these two possibly BOTH like, please comment or msg me your guesses. 

So at this point I’m already 100% sold on Meadow as a spouse as I don’t think it’s humanly possible to come up with a funnier pairing than what fate dropped in my lap, but I’d also like to point out that Felina is so into Meadow that she’s already rolling fears of falling out of love with her, despite not even BEING IN LOVE WITH HER YET. Family sims are a fucking trip. 

CUTE. Alright Felina, you’re set, we got it in one, semi-incest avoided, yay us. Now I’m gonna leave you to your dream date and focus on Barth-

-who is gambling by himself. Guess I don’t need to ask who’s drunk again!

-That’s one safe bet, haha! 

Good Lord. Alright, get up, let’s find you someone while Lakshmi is still here, I’m sure our amazing luck will continue-

-OH FUCK IT’S TIAVE TEENS, HE HAS THE DON BROKEN FACE THING. ABORT ABORT

Oh good there’s nothing to abort, because it turns out Bartholomew is a COMPLETE FAILURE OF A ROMANCE SIM. Observe and keep in mind THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS:

-LALALA LALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOU INSULT MY SPATULA, FUCK OFF

LOL NO @ THE NOOGIES RETURN. FUCK. So clearly Felina has grandma Sophie’s chadly genes and Bartholomew has grandma Shajar’s noogiesexuality, except he’s a romance sim with a 20 woohoo LTW. College with this guy is gonna be UNBEARABLE. 

Alright, Barth, let’s try this again, don’t be discouraged! Ignore our lack of cash!

Ignore that Felina got it right on the first try and is still on her endless dream date!

PATRICK TEENS?! LMAO. Bartholomew is so committed to going through family trees, like if it’s not gonna be his own it’s gonna be SOMEONE’S, he doesn’t care! Unlike Don-clone Tiave, Patrick is cute tho, let’s give it a try-

-Ya, let me stop you right there, buddy, not into it but best of luck in your future endeavors!

Bruh. Let’s extremely call it a night, Barth.

-Oh hi, huhu!🌸 -Hi hi, huhu!🌞 -I feel like I know you?💗

Ya Cyn, if I didn’t have photographic proof that it’s not true I’d legit think she’s your long lost daughter. Man ACTUALLY how much sense does it make that like people tend to seek out partners that remind them of their parents and Cyn was always such a maternal influence on Felina??? Holy hell this game has so many layers. 

Clearly inspired by seeing her younger self in Meadow, Cyn finally finds it in her to woohoo again after Don’s passing! It’s legitimately crazy to me how loyal she was to him in death, like I can’t get over it, she never extended that courtesy to him while he was alive!

-𝚁𝙴𝚂��𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴.𝙴𝚇𝙴

It’s ok, Barth, you sleep off the romantic flopping and that tray of whiskeys and we’ll try again tomorrow.

-Ya, make sure to call us over when he ‘tries again tomorrow’ cause we don’t wanna miss it HAHA -HAHAHA boy did I screw him over by passing down my personality points! -You sure did, my little turbocuck! Let’s sleep in the same bed tonight, I can’t get into this one anyway with this flop sleeping there! -That’s what everyone is gonna be saying to him in college HAHAHA -HAHAHAHA oh Shaj, I love you, let’s work on our marriage! -I love you too, we’ll overcome our issues!

Awww, see Barth? Love wins❤️

[androcola]

because of the nature of tumblr im waiting for Someone to hijack this post and call me ableist because actually They can't make any noise at all and I should think about others. so far its all surprisingly normal but im waiting for it.cuz people can't help themselves

i dont understand people who don't like to sing.shut up and sing with me

[iwasbored777]

On one hand I get it why Poppy seems irrational to want Branch to forgive his brothers after they abandoned him when he was a baby and he was left alone with his grandma.

But on the other hand I get it why Poppy is doing this. She knows Branch better than anyone else and how much his grandma's death traumatised him (fuk that meme 'because singing killed my grandma' now I can't unsee it) and that he was alone all these years and he is so attached to and protective of Poppy and their friends cuz he is afraid of losing more people that he loves.

I don't remember Poppy ever saying that she's ok with what his brothers did but she wants Branch to have his family again. Depends on him if he wants to forgive them or not but she doesn't have any bad intentions, she knows that this would make him happy.

I'm personally not entirely convinced that they should be forgiven that easily but I'll wait until I see the movie.

[una-hive5]

((I'm going to hell for doing this meme))

"WHY?? WHY WON'T YOU WATCH DEMON SLAYER ANIME? IT'S GOOD!"

"BECAUSE WATCHING DEMON SLAYER KILL MY GRANDMA OK??"

"Now leave me alone..."

"My grandpa broke he's neck when bopping with Guren, once."

"How does watching demon slayer kill your grandma?"

"I was the one watching Demon Slayer."

*Branch happily sing Guren inccorectly while scrolling Instagram*

"Branch! Look out!"

*Branch's grandma get spoiled by manga reader*

"GRANMAAAAAA!!!!!"

*Branch get spoiled. Now he knows who die, who survived, who facing/fight who, and what happen to character post-canon, including their descendants. Branch no longer find joy to continue demon slayer anime*

[yourlocalductor]

The peck does this gotta be so accurate though?

Because learning to draw backgrounds killed my grandma, okay!?

[wasted-women]

ROUND 1A, MATCH 8 OUT OF 8!

Cause of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Rachel Bronev

Cause of Death: Unspecified Illness

Propaganda:

So much lost potential!! She is related to several important characters and so her death is to make every other (male) character cry. It only counts as one character's backstory, though: the other characters already have different dead woman backstories.

Grandma Rosiepuff

Cause of Death: Consumed; Sacrificed Herself to Save Grandson

Propaganda:

"BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OK?"

Anna Irving

Cause of Death: Murdered by the Love of Her Life When Transformed into a Monster

Propaganda:

She’s the main characters mother and there’s just so much wasted potential in her character. She’s literally killed off before the start of the game for Kratos man pain as well as causing Lloyd pain later when he finds out the truth. And we never hear anything else about her, her only relevance to the story is her death.

[nachosforfree]

BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA OK

[loverdude]

BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA OK

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CHOKE ON MY RING POP AHGLJSDKFSDJFKJFL

[thevampireazula]

The most embarrassing moment of my life will always be the one time, in good old 2016, that my class’ cool kids invited me to the cinema. And I was like “sure it’ll be fun and I’ll have lots of new friends by the end!”

And everything was going perfectly, ok? I was cool, I was funny, I was having fun. Except for one thing.

The movie was Trolls. The original one with the evil Bergen and yada yada.

So imagine my shock when, out of nowhere, Branch screamed “BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA” and began the flashback of his dead grandma and how he had her killed.

And, listen, I’m not a crier during films, but when I tell you I can’t watch that scene TO THIS DAY because I bawl like a toddler.

Because I’m extremely close to my grandma. And the idea alone sends me hyperventilating. It literally only happens with dogs, moms and grandmas. The sheer bad luck I had that day smh.

And in that moment I was like “it’s ok, it’s dark, no one will see you, you can wipe your tears away and no one will notice”

… and then the lights turned on for the halftime intermission

And all the cool kids in my year turned towards me and found me looking like the crying Jerry meme

And they all began to fuss over what happened, handing me tissues and what not

And the coolest girl asked me “hey, what’s wrong, did something happen?”

And I replied, in the most pathetic voice on earth…

“S-singing killed his grandma…”

And everyone looked at me with pure disgust.

After that day, none of them talked to me ever again.

And now, every time I hear on TikTok that mother effing audio of “BeCaUsE sInGiNg KiLlEd My GrAnDmA” I get flashbacks of the pure horror that was the moment the lights turned on in that fanned cinema.

(Tbh that year I made friends with the people I’m still currently besties with, so it didn’t go as bad, but damn the second hand embarrassment I get every time that audio pops on my fyp…)