#Because often enough it's just going to be you in there

[illyrianbitch]

Are We Still Friends?

Pairing: Reader x Azriel

Summary: Worried about how his new relationship seems to be changing him, you talk to Azriel about your concerns. Things take a turn when he refuses to listen.

Warnings: some wine sipping, gossiping, angst, miscommunication, friend fighting, jealousy (but no one realizes), az being defensive and blind

Word Count: 5k

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

“It’s not that I don’t like her.”

The words tasted as false as they were, and you grimaced the moment they slipped out, already bracing for the look Mor would throw your way. True to form, she didn’t disappoint, her expression halfway between amusement and exasperation.

A defeated sigh escaped as you accepted the glass of wine she offered, watching as she filled her own nearly to the brim.

“You’re better than me, then,” she hummed, settling back onto the couch across from you. “Because I don’t like her.”

You raised a brow. “You don’t like many people nowadays.”

She shrugged, casual as ever, though a smirk tugged at her lips. “True. I’m not exactly lining up for any peace medals, am I?”

You chuckled softly, leaning back in your chair. “I just… have this odd feeling about her, you know?”

Mor tilted her head, letting out a noncommittal hum. “Oh, I know. She drags Az around on a leash.”

You were tempted to say something about the irony in her words—remind her, in a loving manner, that she might've been guilty of that once upon a time, too. But you decided against it. She wasn't wrong.

You swirled the wine in your glass, watching the dark liquid move in slow, mesmerizing circles. The feeling wasn’t new; it had been there since the first time you’d met her. Azriel’s new girlfriend Selene was perfectly fine—charming, even. But there was something else, something you couldn’t quite name. Like a faint hum in the background of a quiet room, just irritating enough to notice but not enough to prove anything was wrong.

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

You glanced up, finding Mor’s bright brown eyes sharp and focused on you, the lazy humor of a moment ago gone.

“I doubt he’ll listen,” you admitted, resting the bottom of your glass on your thigh. “He didn’t listen to you.”

“That’s different.”

“It’s really not.”

Mor raised a brow like she wanted to argue, but she only sighed in response. “He’s been so weird about his love life. Gwyn didn’t work out. Elain’s probably the happiest out of all of us. Maybe he’s treading lightly.”

“Maybe,” you murmured, though you weren’t convinced.

Azriel had changed in small, almost imperceptible ways since everything had settled—since everyone had paired off and fallen in love. Everyone except you. And him.

You were fine with your situation, content in the quiet steadiness of your life. Azriel wasn’t. You knew it. He knew it, though he’d never admit it. So much of his self-worth was tangled up in whether he believed himself worthy of love. And the absence of it—of a solid, undeniable love in his life, of a partner, of a potential bond—seemed to weigh on him. To him, it wasn’t just an empty space; it was a failure.

You’d almost go as far as to say he’d become desperate, living in the shadows and watching his brothers experience loves so profound they might as well have been plucked from stories meant to inspire poets and dreamers.

Mating bonds were rare. You reminded yourself of that often. Your family was just an anomaly, their luck skewed impossibly high. But logic wasn’t enough to soothe Azriel, and it certainly wouldn’t stop him from chasing it. He was obsessive. Stubborn.

Nothing you said or did could change his perspective.

Mor’s voice pulled you out of your head again. “Speak of the devil,” she sang out. “Hi, Elain.”

Your gaze snapped up to the doorway, finding Elain standing just beyond the archway. She looked like a spooked deer, frozen in place with that polite smile you’d come to recognize as her default around company she hadn’t fully warmed up to yet.

“We were just talking about Azriel’s unfortunate romantic history,” Mor said smoothly. You glanced at Elain for her reaction.

It had taken time for that particular history to fade. Maybe it was appropriate to joke about now, but you personally would’ve waited a few more years before bringing it up so flippantly. Mor, however, had little patience for such niceties.

Elain’s expression didn’t shift beyond a faint flicker in her eyes, and you realized how much her composure had improved over the years. Then again, it had been a while since she and Lucien had found each other for good—long enough for their bond to solidify and for them to leave for the Day Court after their mating ceremony.

A twinge of jealousy sparked in you before you brushed it aside.

“We’re just gossiping in general. Want to join us?” you asked, gesturing to the chair beside you. Plush and inviting, it mirrored the one you sat on. “Unless Lucien is waiting for you upstairs?”

Elain’s cheeks flushed crimson. 

“Lucien’s still with Feyre, catching up,” she said, stepping further into the room. “What are you drinking?”

Mor reached for the bottle on the table, plucking it up and turning it in her hand to read the label.

“Something good and expensive,” she replied, with a half-hearted air of indulgence, before tilting her head at Elain with a faint grin.

“It’s from Rhys’s rather gluttonous collection,” you said, sensing Elain’s hesitation. “It won’t be missed at all.”

She smiled at that. “I’d love some.”

“There are a lot of glasses in that cabinet,” you said, pointing to the wood door with ornate carvings. “Grab whichever one you’d like.”

Mor sat up straighter, scooting herself back into the pillows behind her. You hummed, impressed, at her ability to hold both her full wine glass and the bottle without so much as a wobble.

You hadn’t spent much time with Elain one-on-one. Emissary duties had kept you busy during the years the Archeron sisters had adjusted to their new lives. But you liked Elain, from what you’d seen. She had a kind heart. She also had a sharp humor that surfaced at the oddest moments, usually when she and Lucien were whispering in corners, conspiratorial before seamlessly rejoining whatever social event they were at like they’d never left.

Elain returned and sat down with her chosen glass—a delicate crystal piece that gleamed in the soft light. Mor went to fill it instantly. 

“Can I ask why you were discussing Azriel’s romantic life?” Elain asked. Her voice was smooth, certain. No hesitation.

It didn’t faze her anymore, you realized—being such a strange, pivotal turning point in Azriel’s past experiences. She’d made peace with it, the way immortality seemed to demand. Time softened the edges of even the messiest situations, turning them into stories you could recount with startling detachment. Almost humorous, really.

Because how else could you explain being casual about the fact that your best friend had almost allowed his pride—and arrogance—and, somehow simultaneously, his insecurity—to lead him into a blood duel over Elain’s affections? A blood duel.

But now, it was just… something to write off. A distant memory, softened by the years and Lucien’s easy confidence. Lucien was better than you. You would’ve held that grudge against Azriel for many more years—long enough to make it a point of pride. But then again, Lucien had won everything he wanted in the end. He had the girl, the bond, the certainty that whatever lingering rivalry Azriel might feel was entirely one-sided.

It wasn’t important enough for Lucien to waste any more energy on.

You exchanged a glance with Mor, who arched a brow, clearly just as amused by Elain’s openness.

“Y/n doesn’t like his new girlfriend,” Mor said.

Your mouth fell open. “You don’t either.”

“True,” Mor agreed easily. She looked to Elain. “We don’t like her.”

“For clarification,” you said firmly, “I never said I didn’t like her.”

Mor laughed, sipping her wine with an amused grin.

Your face fell flat. “What?”

“Nothing,” she replied breezily. “But if you get a bad feeling about someone, that’s usually dislike.”

You resisted the urge to scowl, already turning over the guilt in your mind. You didn’t want to be that person—the kind who dismissed another female off the bat. Maybe your gut was wrong this time. Maybe her smile had reached her eyes, and you’d been too preoccupied to notice. Maybe her tone hadn’t been as assessing as you remembered, and you were projecting. You wanted to like her. You wanted to be happy for Azriel.

But he didn’t seem happy. He seemed distracted. Busy. Not himself.

And not the kind of busy you’d seen before—the methodical, obsessive focus he funneled into work or training. This was different, scattered in a way you couldn’t quite pin down. It had made sense in the beginning, when things were new and exciting, but now it was starting to feel uncomfortable. He’d started missing things—small things at first, like sparring sessions or those late-night conversations you, Mor, and him would have when you couldn’t sleep. Then came the bigger things. He’d stopped being able to review external court updates with you, even when those meetings were critical for your diplomatic roles.

Azriel had always been the one you could count on. Out of everyone, you considered him your closest friend—even more than Mor, though you’d never admit it out loud. But now it seemed like every time you made plans, Selene needed him more.

And then there was how fast it was all moving. Too fast. At a recent family dinner, she’d casually mentioned that she and Azriel could move in together—offhand, like it was the most obvious next step. Something about leaving the townhouse behind, creating a space with décor that matched her aesthetic. Azriel had just stayed quiet, looked at her like she’d just proposed the most brilliant idea in existence.

You noticed he did that. The way he looked at her. The way he’d looked at Elain and Gwyn back when they were seeing each other. It weirded you out—that tendency to put the people he saw as romantic interests on a pedestal, as though they were flawless. As though they were something he didn’t deserve.

You knew where it came from. That deep-rooted insecurity that even centuries hadn’t managed to erase. He didn’t see it, the way he wore himself down trying to prove his worth to people who, for the most part, had already accepted him. But you saw it. You always had.

And it made it harder to like Selene. To trust her intentions. Maybe that was unfair, but you couldn’t help but feel like she was just taking—taking all the parts of Azriel that used to be all of yours to share, and twisting them into something else. Something that didn’t include his family.

Still, you wanted to try. To let go of the gnawing irritation in your chest and convince yourself it didn’t matter. If she made him happy—truly happy—then none of it should matter. You were adamant on ensuring that you didn’t turn into the stereotypical overbearing female best friend.

Elain tapped her glass lightly. “Lucien doesn’t like her.”

You blinked back into reality. “Really?”

She nodded, a beat passing before she added, “To be honest, I’m not sure I do either.”

Mor leaned forward, grinning like she’d been handed a stack of gold. You almost wished Amren was here to bask in the moment. Amren didn’t like Azriel’s girlfriend, either. Maybe your family really was as unwelcoming as people claimed. Or maybe Selene simply brought out another level of scrutiny. The thought of either option made you feel bad— gross. 

“Why?” Mor asked.

“She was dismissive toward Lucien. And,” Elain hesitated, her brow furrowing slightly, “She seemed… entitled, I suppose. Especially with Azriel. Like she expected him to accommodate her every whim.”

You frowned, turning over her words. “I’m sure she was just nervous. We can be an intimidating group. Maybe she just needs time to settle in. We just want Az to be happy, right? So, if she makes him happy, then I’m absolutely fine with her.”

The silence that followed was thick. For a moment, you wondered if you’d said something wrong. Something weird.

“Are you?” Elain asked, her tone sincere.

“Are you?” Mor echoed at the same time, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You shot Mor a glare, but she only raised her brows and sipped her wine again, infuriatingly unbothered. Exhaling, you willed yourself to meet Elain’s gaze.

“I am,” you said, trying for conviction. “Really.”

Elain pursed her lips. Her gaze shifted to Mor, lingering longer than you liked, and then back to you.

“Alright,” she hummed. “I guess I was wrong.”

You stilled. Elain reclined deeper into her seat, accepting a refill from Mor. Her wine glass remained only half-full compared to yours and Mor’s.

Curiosity burned. You leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

Elain furrowed her brows. “What do I mean about what?”

“You said you guess you were wrong. What does that mean?”

Mor’s gaze bored into the side of your face. Any second now, you were sure she’d make some quip about how bothered you were. But you weren’t bothered. Just curious.

Elain swirled her wine, watching the light catch the liquid. “I’m not sure. Things feel off. Like something’s coming. Az needs help with it, I think.”

You froze. “Off? Like—how?”

She hesitated, thoughtful. “It’s hard to explain,” she murmured, her voice quieter now. “But I feel it. In my chest. My visions sometimes do that. That’s why I asked.”

Well, that unsettled you. You glanced at Mor, whose amused grin had fallen into something more contemplative.

It seemed you might need to have a conversation with Azriel after all.

“I don’t like that,” you admitted, your nose crinkling. 

“I think I heard him get back earlier. Go talk to him,” Mor said, her tone gentler now, though a hint of mischief lingered in her eyes. You didn’t read too much into that. Mor’s eyes tended to be expressive. She also tended to be mischievous when her blood was primarily red wine. 

“Okay,” you said. “Maybe just to check in.”

Elain nodded. “Just to check in,” she echoed, almost reassuring.

“Have fun,” Mor added, her grin returning just enough to be annoying, but not enough to distract you from the unease curling in your chest.

You didn’t respond, instead taking another slow sip of your drink. The glass clinked softly as you set it down on the table before you made your way upstairs.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Mor turned to Elain. “Did you really feel something that unsettling?”

Elain let out a laugh. “No,” she said lightly. “I completely made that up. But she doesn’t need to know that.”

Mor’s lips curled into a slow, wicked smile. Seconds later, her head tilted back in a laugh just as vibrant as it was unapologetic.

“Genius,” she declared, raising her glass in mock salute.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

The walk upstairs was quiet.

The townhome, in general, was quieter nowadays. Aside from the times others came to visit—like Lucien and Elain—only you and Azriel lived here full time.

When you reached Azriel’s bedroom door, your steps faltered for a moment. There was a hesitation in you that hadn't existed before. You raised your hand to knock, but the action felt more awkward than usual. It made you sad, momentarily, that you hesitated. You never second-guessed yourself with Azriel. You wanted to tread carefully in this new era of his life, though. You didn’t want to overstep, to become a nuisance. But whatever this was—whatever had unsettled Elain enough to mention it—you needed to know. Azriel had always been a constant for you, and if something felt “off,” you wanted to understand why.

Your knuckles rapped lightly on the door. “Az?” 

Inside, you heard the shuffle of movement, followed by his low, familiar voice. “Come in.”

You didn’t see Azriel immediately, but the smell of soap and the damp air told you that he recently showered. Shadows slithered across the floor, comfortable and excited, exploring the familiar confines of his room.

You greeted the tendrils as you usually did, letting them brush against your legs as you flopped onto his bed. The bed, like everything else in his room, was simple: plain black sheets, no extravagant pillows, just the bare necessities. It used to drive you mad, the emptiness of it all.  But what was in his room spoke volumes—— bare walls except for a dagger mount on one side, a small uncluttered desk with a well-worn sharpening stone. 

Azriel exiting the bathroom pulled your attention, your eyes settling on him as he rubbed his wet hair thoroughly with a towel. He shook his head slightly, wet curls bouncing onto his forehead, and met your gaze. His eyes flicked to where you lay, scanning your body. He nodded toward your feet.

“C’mon,” he almost whined. “No shoes on the bed.”

You looked down at yourself, grimacing as you realized that your shoes were, indeed, on his clean comforter. A simple set of house slippers, so nothing entirely too dirty, but it had completely slipped your mind. Very comfortable shoes, you noted, maybe you’d get Feyre a pair as a solstice gift.

“Oh whoops,” you said with an apologetic smile. “My bad, clean freak.”

He rolled his eyes, but you caught the quirk of his lips anyways.

For a moment, the old sense of comfort settled over you. But then, a thought crept in—the thought that maybe you shouldn’t lie on his bed like this anymore. It had been fine before, but now… now it felt different. He had someone else in his life. It wasn’t weird, exactly, but it was a little inappropriate.

You sat up straighter.

“Did you and Mor grow tired of rehashing the same centuries old gossip?” He teased.

You snorted, watching as his shadows flitted above his shoulders. They were amused, laughing in their own way. “Never,” you responded, pushing yourself off his bed. You were drawn to the otherside of his room, to the simple dresser against the wall. “Elain joined us this time.”

Your back was to him, but you had a feeling that the momentary silence, the stillness that you felt, was a knee-jerk reaction from Azriel—something reminiscent of embarrassment, shame, or guilt at her name. But all he responded was, “Oh?”

“I like her,” you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I kinda wish I spent more time with her…”

You paused, your words trailing off quietly as you took in the small details before you. 

Azriel’s dresser had always been the one surface he decorated, not because he cared for decoration, but because it was the only surface large enough to hold anything. Over the years, it had become a quiet testament to the things that mattered to him: a mix of Solstice and birthday gifts, trinkets you’d both collected on missions and trips. You liked seeing what had changed, what had been added. It gave you a glimpse into where Azriel had been, who had been with him. 

Lately, there had been more—more trinkets, more oddities that stood in stark contrast to the weapons displayed elsewhere, the ones mostly hidden away in his closet. A macaroni necklace from Nyx. A horribly made clay version of him you’d created during a drunken pottery night with Feyre, Mor, and Amren.

But now, the dresser was foreign. The once familiar surface had been wiped clean, replaced by delicate perfume bottles, jewelry that looked too fine to be his, and a candle that smelled—oddly—like the puke of a flower faerie. Some of it was new. Most of it was hers.

Azriel’s presence had vanished from his own furniture entirely.

“Huh.”

“What?” Azriel asked.

You glanced over your shoulder. “I see you’ve decorated more.”

Azriel tilted his head, and a few of his shadows slithered down his body, crossing the room to pool around your ankles. “I guess,” he said. “Selene said my room needed more life.”

You leaned forward, brushing your fingers along the ceramic jewelry dish, the cool surface sending a strange chill through your skin. The shadows flickered over your hand, almost as if they were inspecting it too. They moved with purpose, then slowly obscured it, hiding it from view.

You frowned, confused.

Azriel, still silent, was rifling through his closet. You could feel the weight of his eyes on you as he moved, but he said nothing. The shadows returned to his side as you turned to look at him.

"Are you going somewhere?" you asked, trying to break the silence.

Now, Azriel barely spared you a glance.

“Yeah. Meeting Selene,” he replied simply.

After a few seconds of silence, Azriel turned his head and properly held your gaze. “Why? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you responded with a casual wave of your hand, but Elain’s words echoed in your mind. You cleared your throat. “Well, actually, no. I was hoping I could talk to you.”

He frowned, standing up straighter, his wings flexing with the motion. “Is it something serious?”

You paused, carefully filtering through your words. “No, just something that’s been on my mind.”

Azriel studied you, doubt flickering in his hazel eyes. It was the kind of look that always made you feel like he was reading you too easily. He probably didn’t believe you, not entirely—but he nodded anyway. His lips curved into a small, apologetic smile. “Raincheck then?”

You mirrored his smile, though it felt thin. “Yeah, sure. We can talk tomorrow, once we’re back from the Hewn City.”

Azriel stilled. The way his gaze dropped to the floor and lingered felt like a guilty dog, an animal caught in an act forbidden. “Shit,” he said, his tone cautious. “I can’t go.”

You blinked, the words taking a moment to settle. “Seriously? Az, Rhys is expecting an update.”

“I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere enough. It didn’t matter. “But you can handle it on your own, you know this.” 

“Are you serious?” you said, the hurt slipping out before you could stop it. “I don’t want to deal with Keir alone.”

Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll talk to Rhys, but Selene’s been wanting to—”

“Never mind,” you cut him off, shaking your head. You forced a smile. “Have fun tonight. And tomorrow.”

Azriel scanned your face. After another moment of silence, he sighed.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “You clearly have something on your mind. Tell me.”

You hesitated, holding his gaze. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Selene.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened instantly. He looked away, his tongue running across his teeth as he shook his head. “Not you too. Don’t be like this.”

Your frown deepened, offended by the immediate shift in tone. “Be like what? I haven’t even said anything yet.”

He met your eyes again, his stare almost challenging. “We both know what you’re going to say.”

“Do we?”

“First Mor, then Nesta, and now you.” His voice was sharp, but not loud. “Should I be concerned that the females in my life are so quick to rally against my girlfriend?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms to mirror his pose. “Well, yeah, Az. Maybe you should be.”

He rolled his eyes, the shadows at his feet flickering with the motion. “Fine. What do you want to tell me, then?”

For a moment, you hesitated, the words lingering on the edge of your tongue. Azriel had always been good at looking through you, unraveling thoughts you hadn’t fully formed yet. And now, under the weight of his sharp gaze, you felt exposed.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy.”

Something flickered in his expression, quick and fleeting—too fast for you to decipher. For the first time in a long while, Azriel felt unreadable, like he’d drawn a curtain between himself and you. “Really?” he asked, his tone tight, almost incredulous.

You faltered, a small thread of doubt weaving its way through your resolve. Was he happy? Would he even tell you if he wasn’t?

“Yes, really,” you replied, a defensive edge creeping into your voice. “You’ve been distant lately. Running around at her beck and call. None of us know her. I want to understand what’s going on with you. I want to understand her.”

Azriel’s wings shifted again, his gaze hardening.

“I want to make sure this is the kind of relationship you want,” you finished, quieter now.

The room fell into silence, heavy and still. Azriel watched you as if he was turning your words over and over in his mind. You waited, unsure of what to expect��if anything at all.

“I wouldn’t be in a relationship I didn’t want. Can we drop it, please.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. What a strange, dismissive answer. It bothered you— bothered you more than anything he’d ever told you before. 

“Az, I just don’t want you to change who you are for someone. You don’t need to cater to her every whim.”

His expression darkened, shadows curling tighter around his boots. “I’m her boyfriend. I do what she asks.”

You raised an eyebrow, unable to stop the scoff that slipped out. Azriel had never been so clipped with you. “That’s not the definition of a boyfriend. That’s the definition of a bitch.”

Azriel’s jaw clenched, his wings flaring in irritation. “Excuse me?”  His voice cut through the room. “Do you really think I’m some incompetent love-sick loser?”

“I think you stop seeing flaws in the people you love.”

The words hung between you, heavier than you’d anticipated. A small part of you wondered if “love” was the word Azriel would use to describe his feelings for her. Another part worried that he didn’t correct you.

“That’s not true.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” he snapped. “I can clearly see that you’re being unfair. Quick to judge, much like Mor. That’s a flaw.”

“Oh, please,” you shot back, “You know what I meant. The people you’re infatuated with—”

“Where is this sudden concern coming from?” he interrupted, his shadows now beginning to curl between you like restless mediators, unsure where to settle. “Are you trying to cause issues?”

Something ran hot through your body.

“Seriously? I’m talking to you about this because I care. Because Elain had some cryptic feeling about you—”

“Elain is involved in this conversation, too?” His voice dripped with frustration now. “Gods, Y/n, should I send word for Gwyn while we’re at it? Get her opinion?”

“What the hell has gotten into you?” You took an authoritative step forward.  “I’ve never judged you. I’ve always tried to support you and your messy love life, no matter how complicated. Don’t you trust me, Azriel? As a friend?”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately, his shadows flickering uncertainly, still deciding whether to retreat or rise.

You gestured around the room. “Look at this place. You’ve erased all traces of your family—of you, of us. Where did you even put—”

“Oh, gods.” Azriel’s voice broke through, and for a moment, you thought he might crumble. His wings folded, and his hand dragged across his face, the weight of his exhaustion sinking in. “She was right.”

You froze. “What?”

Azriel met your gaze, his eyes hesitant for a heartbeat before turning sharp. “About you. Selene said you were jealous. That you had feelings for me.”

The words hit like a slap, and your world tilted on its axis. “What?” you asked again, your voice breaking on the word. Maybe you had misheard him. Maybe he had misspoken.

“I told her she was wrong. But now…” He let the sentence hang in the air, searching your face for something that maybe wasn’t even there.

“Now, what?” Your voice rose, tinged with anger. “You think I’m here because I’m jealous? Because I have some… crush on you?”

His wings flared slightly at your tone, but he didn’t back down. “I don’t know. It’s just—why else would you care so much about this?”

Your stomach twisted, a deep, cold ache settling there. “Why else?” you repeated, the words bitter on your tongue. “Because I care about you, Azriel. Because you’ve been my friend for centuries. Are you seriously confused about this?” 

For a moment, Azriel’s expression faltered, but he didn’t apologize. Instead, he said, “I didn’t ask you to care about my love life.”

“You didn’t have to,” you snapped, stepping closer. “That’s what friends do. But you’re standing there, letting her perception of me—someone who doesn’t even know me—warp your judgment. You’ve known me longer than that. Or at least, I thought you did. And the fact that you’d entertain this—” You stopped, shaking your head. “It’s insulting.”

Azriel said nothing. He just stood there, shadows now curling tighter around him. 

You had no idea how this conversation had gotten away from you, no idea how it turned into this—where this defensiveness, this anger, had come from. This wasn’t Azriel. Loyal, overly so. Impulsive. Protective. 

Or maybe it was. Maybe that loyalty was directed at someone else now—someone who clearly saw you as something threatening. You’d never been on the other side of Azriel before. Never thought you’d see the day. The realization hit like a slap to the face, leaving you shocked, stunned, a pit opening in your stomach that felt too deep to climb out of.

“You know what? Forget it.” You stepped back, the fight draining out of you all at once.

Azriel’s brows furrowed. “Really? That’s it?”

You glanced at him over your shoulder, your lips curving into something that might have been a smile if it weren’t so bitter. “Yeah,” you said, your voice flat. “That’s it.”

You turned for the door, hand on the handle, but paused. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them, sharp and pointed, a petty jab that felt equal parts satisfying and hollow. “Make sure to lock this door when you leave—I’d hate to accidentally stumble back in and throw myself at you.”

Azriel stiffened, his wings snapping taut behind him. For a brief second, you thought he might say something, anything. But he didn’t.

You closed the door behind you with a heavy thud.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

authors note: no one tell them they probs have feelings for each other bc they’ll probably fight you (also elains moment is so self indulgent bc i would totally be making shit up based off my powers. like yeah actually you can’t be mean to be :/ powers are saying you’ll die if you are)

part two? 😏 lmk if you wanna be tagged

permanent tag list 🫶🏻: 

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@glam-targaryen @cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg

@evergreenlark @marina468 @azriels-human @book-obsessed124 @bubybubsters 

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azriel tag list 🫶🏻:@thisiskaylin @serrendiipty @acourtofsteelandthunder  @mortqlprojections @ushijima-stits @honethatty12

[cripplecharacters]

Writing a Schizophrenic Character: Everything But Hallucinations

Plain text: Writing a Schizophrenic character: Everything But Hallucinations

Hey! Mod Bert here. 

So: you’ve decided to write a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder (there are other disorders on the schizophrenia spectrum but I will be focusing on these for today)

You’ve done it, you have their hallucinations and maybe even delusions picked out. Maybe they are one of many who experience auditory hallucinations or maybe they also have visual hallucinations or a combination. Maybe they have olfactory hallucinations as well. They may have persecutory delusions or delusions of reference or something like Cotard’s delusion or clinical lycanthropy. Awesome, you’ve done it!

What, I hear you say? What do you mean that’s only 2 of the 5 components needed to be diagnosed with schizophrenia? What do you mean, you don’t need to hallucinate at all to be schizophrenic?

What Goes Into a Diagnosis of Schizophrenia

Plain Text: What goes into a diagnosis of schizophrenia

Not a lot of people realize there’s more to schizophrenia and schizoaffective than just hallucinations or delusions. There are 5 diagnostic criterias that are needed for schizophrenia, and only 2 of the 5 are needed for a month, with larger symptoms happening for six months or more. Let’s get into it.

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech or thinking*

Disorganized or unusual motor behavior (catatonia)*

Negative symptoms (avolition, anhedonia, flat affect)*

I’m going to focus on disorganized speech/thinking, catatonia, and negative symptoms.

Disorganized Speech/Thinking

Plain Text: Disorganized Speech/Thinking

Schizophrenia and related disorders are often called “thought disorders” for a reason. Speech and thinking can be extremely affected, and for people like me this can be one of the first and most striking examples of an episode coming. Some people will always have disorganized symptoms that will flare during episodes. A myth is that schizophrenia can be indistinguishable with medicine: most people will have some level of symptoms even during moments of peace or “remission”. More on remission later. 

So, disorganized speech. Some examples are: word salad (schizoaphasia), thought blocking, poverty of speech (alogia), pressurized speech, clanging, and echolalia.

Word salad: a combination of words that do not make sense together. Often called schizoaphasia for its similarity to jargon in Wernicke’s aphasia, this is instead a disconnection with the brain and not due to damage to the language part of the brain.

(Example: the salad would be yellow in the fat cow).

Thought blocking: A severe loss of thought, often paired with connecting two trains of thought that are not connected

(Example: I went to the………Do you like grapes?)

Poverty of speech: A lack of organic responses to speech or organically speaking, it can be severe enough that a person only responds to questions or in one word responses. Can also happen in severe depression.

(Example: Person A: Did you do anything fun today?

Person B: Yes.

Person A: Oh, what did you do?

Person B: Store

Person A: How was it?

Person B: Fun)

Pressurized speech: A sort of frenzied way of speaking associated with psychosis or mania.

Clanging: Connecting phrases together because of what they sound like instead of meaning

(Example: I went bent tent rent).

Echolalia: Repeating word’s and phrases. Commonly also associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder. 

(Example: Person A: I went to the store.

Person B: To the store.)

These are not the only examples but they are some ones I thought I'd highlight, either because they’re well known or I have experience with them, or because they’re famously thought of with other disorders as well and I wanted to point out how things overlap.

Personal experience: I had severe alogia for the duration of my last and worst episode. People thought I was mad at them because of the clipped way I spoke and the lack of really speaking. It got me in a lot of trouble. I didn’t realize what I was saying was different or weird (I have the least insight when it comes to my speaking patterns affected by my schizoaffective, meaning I can’t hear any difference and all of this is from repeated conversations with my mom, who was my caretaker for a bit and knows the most about my speech and what it means). The best solution was talking with people and being honest and educating myself and others. I don’t know about others, but I couldn’t have used AAC at that time.

Catatonia

Plain text: Catatonia

Fun fact: catatonia means unusual motor behaviors! Any unusual motor behaviors mean catatonia. This includes what we think of when we think of catatonia in schizophrenia (inability to move) as well as the opposite (being unable to stop moving) as well as strange movements and ways of holding and moving the body! Catatonia in the DSM-5 includes 3 or more of these 12 behaviors:

-Agitation unrelated to external stimuli

-Catalepsy

-Echolalia

-Echopraxia

-Grimacing

-Mannerism

-Mutism

-Negativism

-Posturing

-Stereotypy

-Stupor

-waxy flexibility

I have some experiences with catatonia-like symptoms but since they were never identified as such I’ll skip those for now. I will say that catatonia is a symptom that can happen in many disorders besides schizophrenia as well.

Negative Symptoms! Yay!

Plain text: negative symptoms! Yay!

So a positive symptom (Hallucinations or delusions) are symptoms that add something to reality or a person. Negative symptoms are symptoms that take away. There are 5 A’s:

-Alogia (Again, poverty of speech, our favorite)

-Avolition (Lack of energy and motivation)

-Affect (Blunted affect, or a flat way of speaking)

-Anhedonia (Lack of pleasure in things that used to bring you pleasure, often thought of with depression)

-Asociality (Lack of interest in social events and relationships)

There are also often cognitive changes including thinking and memory, information recall, understanding, and acquisition, and so forth. 

Schizophrenia and schizoaffective often (but not always) happen with what’s called a prodromal period. This period can be months to years (mine was a little less than a year) and mainly consists of negative symptoms. Slowly, positive symptoms are added. There are thought to be stages to schizophrenia including prodrome, active phases, and remission.

I’ll talk about that a little for a second because I’m currently in remission and no one knows what that means. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective depressive type in January 2021. As of February 2024, I no longer qualified to be rediagnosed because my symptoms were strongly under control and no longer severe enough to qualify for a diagnosis. They also didn’t distress me or impact my daily life severely. Day to day now I still have mild symptoms and take my antipsychotics (trying to go off them have made it clear that I still have some symptoms I choose to keep medicating) but I haven’t had a delusion in 2 years and been hospitalized in 3. There’s always a possibility of another episode but I work with my team to keep myself one step ahead if that happens.

What I want from a character with schizophrenia

Plain Text: What I want from a character with schizophrenia

Alright the writing advice part. What do I want from a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective (which is schizophrenia plus either depression or bipolar). 

-Characters with caregivers.

-Characters using coping strategies (recording hallucinations to tell if theyre hallucinations, taking medication, having service animals that greet people so they know if they’re a hallucination, using aids for the cognitive symptoms like sticky notes and organizational tools)

-Characters who know other characters with their disorder, either online or in support group or through running in similar circles

-Characters having autonomy

-Characters who aren’t the killer or horror victim. I know it’s cool to have the schizophrenic protagonist in horror, and I love horror, but I don’t want to read about the horror being symptoms the whole time

-Characters who are in magical scenarios, who are in fantasy and sci-fi. The schizophrenic princess and the schizoaffective robot technician aboard the spaceship.

-Medication and hospitalization treated casually. Sometimes we need higher care. That’s morally neutral

-Characters with negative symptoms and speech symptoms.

-Characters with catatonia! 

-Characters with other disorders as well

-characters with side effects from medicine treated casually

-Characters with cognitive symptoms

Thank you for reading this incredibly long thing! Happy writing!

[madamechrissy]

I'll look After You

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x fem reader (reader is a mom)

Summary: You longed to hear from Satoru, After an epic night hooking up in a club bathroom, sure you'd been strangers, but he has your number, he made you feel so special... but... he never contacts you again. Ten months later, you have a beautiful baby named Reign, with those exact blue eyes. You never saw him again, couldn't even find him, so now, you are living your life as a single mom. Messy bun, dark circles, exhausted, you run into Satoru one day, and he sees her, his baby girl, and sees you struggling, he knows then, you're what's been missing in his life.

CW: Going to be sweet and emotional, Satoru is a freaking doll, misunderstanding led to him not knowing (nothing is kept from anyone on purpose) Fluffy long oneshot where Satoru falls in love with reader and his little girl. Gojo being a dad and being cute! Will have smut at the end as all my oneshots do lol, so MDNI, and flashbacks to the original bathroom smut (will list all the warnings when it comes out!)

Preview below! Comment to get added to the taglist when it's out!! (Soon!!) <3

You often wondered about him, Satoru was his name.

As you look down at your baby girl, with her brilliant blue eyes while she’s cooing happily, giving you a gummy little grin, you wonder what he’d think if he knew about her. The random guy at the bar you gave your number to after hooking up in a bathroom, the guy who never called, the guy with no social media of which to speak. The guy you never, ever saw again.

Your baby’s father, the best thing that ever happened to you, surely, but also it was very difficult, being a single mom, you’d have to go back to work soon which you were dreading, spending sleepless nights up feeding, changing her. It had been a rough pregnancy, and a shocking one at that, people had questioned you over and over, some mentioned not having her.

But something in you knew you could do this, you could have this baby, you’re broke as fuck but she has all she needs, and she makes you so happy, but those eyes are unmistakable. No one has eyes like that, except her and her… well was he really her 'dad'? You wonder if he’d run ten million miles from you if he knew, or would he have been okay with it?

It’s odd that just a night of fun, alcohol and being on antibiotics created this amazing little girl, but you can’t be upset, not when she brightens your world. But you still ache at times, for her to have a dad, you hope you’re enough. You wonder about him though, the bright energetic man, the one that had made you feel more in one evening than anyone ever.

The last man you’d been with.

Yes, it’s been that long, Reign was two months old, so you’re damn near at a year, you say it’s because you’re so busy, but something deep in you knows that you felt something for him, deeper than the obvious physical. Something about how he looked at you, at how he laughed, at how he made you feel so special.

You assume it must have been some act, clearly, here you are, alone after all. You both only knew each other’s first names, it’s true, but he had that number. Maybe it wasn’t all you thought it was? Maybe he just was that sort of guy, the one that made women think they’re his everything with one of his kisses, maybe you were just too drunk, and he was too pretty.

You blink a bit, shaking the haze thoughts of him as you yawn a bit, exhausted from Reign keeping you up all night, her tummy had been hurting. You’re sleepily putting things in the cart, baby items, groceries, the essentials, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror above the produce, wincing then. You have a messy bun and are in pajamas, god help you if you ever wanted to meet a guy.

‘Oh hi, I have a baby with a random blue eyed dude from a bar, I’m broke as fuck, and I wear pajamas to the store. Wanna date?’

Yeah. That would go over well.

“It’s… it’s… you!?” You sleepily look up then, so exhausted you barely register the six foot three man for a moment, then suddenly it all hits.

He stares at you, those blue eyes, the eyes your baby has, wide now, his pouty pink lips dropped open. He’s just as gorgeous as you remember him, like it’s some dream, you feel weak then, chest rising and falling as your breaths come too quickly. He steps closer to you then, he hasn’t seen her yet, nestled in her little car seat on the cart, you’re panicking.

“Do you even remember me? Oh my god, that night my phone broke, and I had just got it, they couldn’t transfer the numbers! And I tried to look you up? But I couldn’t find you… and I never saw you… and then- fuck I’m rambling.” He laughs nervously, swiping his hand through his snowy locks. “Forgive me, please… what I mean to say is… Hi?”

“Hi…” Your baby whines then, and Satoru pauses, blinking and you move to the side then, he steps closer when Reign opens her eyes, grinning at him.

Satoru’s heart pounds in his chest, his entire world tilts on its axis, he was already so thrown off by seeing you again, the girl he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of, but now… he looks at you in shock, you look exhausted, but so beautiful, your eyes tear up then, he watches your shoulders slump, then he looks back at the baby, realization sinking in.

“She’s… is she… there’s no way…”

“She’s yours, I only hooked up with you for the past… year.” You manage to say softly, right in the middle of the fruit aisle, Satoru was finding out you have his baby.

“You did this alone?” He says then, blinking back emotions for a girl he barely knew, but who now has a part of him, a part he wants to know so badly suddenly, shocking him.

“I had no clue who you were, how to tell you, even if so, it’s not your responsibility okay? I take care of her just fine, I make it work.” Satoru’s heart breaks then, seeing how tired you are, seeing the endless baby items and cheap toilet paper, a cheap bottle of wine, is that all you get yourself?

You did this alone, you have his baby alone, altering your life while he’s living his just the same, partying with his best friends, working and living a luxurious life. Satoru was rich, and it’s clear his baby and his baby’s mother are struggling, and he’s here doing what? Could he have tried harder to find you!? Could he…

“We’re okay, you don’t have to worry. I’d never come for you for anything, I am happy being her mommy.” You say with a tired smile, reaching to touch her little chubby cheek, and Satoru has never seen anything so beautiful, the two of you.

He’s felt so empty for this year, is this what he was missing?

“Can I… please… can I know her?” He asks, gulping now, and you blink in shock, nodding quickly.

“I would love that.” You can’t stop your tears then, sniffling and shaking your head. “Please, let’s talk outside of the produce aisle?” You whisper, he nods quickly, unable to take his eyes off you, off his baby.

Coming sooon- based loosely on a request for @bunheadusa hehe, prob gonna be long I can't help myself.

perma tags- @alt--er--love @cuntphoric @seeing-stars-alt @nanasukii28 @labelt-san @makingtimemine @aldebrana @n1vi Perma Gojo tags: @chiyokoemilia @haruhatake @strychnynegirl <3

[alexmasonistired]

I remeber that there was a quite a few times where our parents got a call home or an email or smtg about our attendance, which wasn’t to good. We pretty often get sick and it’s fucking awful for us. We’ve also made the recent discovery that we need more mental health days and accommodations for things than we thought we did

Also thank you SO SO much OP for mentioning doctors notes and how they aren’t always easy to get, because holy shit is that real. Our sickness often comes without warning, and we don’t have the time all the time to go get a note. That’s not even counting our days when we are heavily dissociated or in lots of pain physically and it hurts to get around school. Our school has a rule that you are only allowed 5 un-excused absences per semester, and if you have to many over that, you will get truancy officers called on you and at some point you will have to go to court. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

When it comes to schools and not being accessible to those with disabilities, attendance really needs to be talked about more and adjusted. Schools enough are already very sucky when it comes to accommodating disabled students in various ways, and attendance is just one of them.

When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”

I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.

Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”

[blckbrrybasket]

ᯓ★ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

MDNI

SFW

- Lesbian (canon)

- Heavy metal is her favorite genre of music.

- Doesn’t have a hand towel in her bathroom. She shakes her hands to dry them and wipes them on her pants.

- Keeps her nails short and hates keeping them painted. She sees it as a waste of time since it chips so frequently.

- Has horrible long term memory but can remember the most random, specific memories or facts.

- Got hit by a motorcycle once and got into a fight with the driver.

- Would have had an emo phase when she was younger without knowing what being emo meant.

- Secretly not so secretly the biggest hater. Does gossip just in her own way of posing things as a fact.

- Hated any type of schooling with a burning passion. Did not do well with the structure it demanded and most likely did not do any schooling after the required amount.

- Snores so loud like a dad and will wake herself up with her own snoring at times.

- Ungodly high tolerance for alcohol…we all see how frequently she drinks.

- Also has an amazing spice tolerance and can eat basically anything. Human vaccum!

- Loves reptiles

- Hates clowns

- Tries to shower often and hates when she’s working for long days without being able to go home to clean.

- She has never done taxes

- When Sevika was younger if she caused something to go wrong she would flee the scene and let someone else take the blame. She isn’t above doing it now.

- Likes being alone. Give her a cigar and some whiskey and she’s set to be alone for the rest of her life. She’s had enough human interaction for one lifetime.

- Honestly bad at handling criticism and tries to rationalize everything she does in her head.

- Gets offended when people incorrectly assume things about her.

- She is completely oblivious to anyone liking her romantically or showing interest in her. She isn’t very conscious of being romantic so it goes over her head if she isn’t actively deciphering if someone is flirting.

SFW (serious)

- Hates hugs but will reluctantly give side hugs to someone very close to her.

- Sevika finds herself blaming Silco some nights and other nights she wants him to come back so she doesn’t have to deal with the chaos Zaun has fallen into.

- She has a love-hate relationship with her parents and ultimately wishes her childhood was better.

- Raised stray dogs on the streets as a kid because she thought of them like her.

- Has insane troubles trying to fall sleep.

- When she does eventually get to sleep she keeps a knife under her pillow. Do not wake her up unless you want to get hurt 😭

- Doesn’t verbally say i love you much. She prefers relationships where you both silently know how much you love each other.

- She can like physical touch at times and seek it out, but she doesn’t like it all the time. Sevika can love deeply, but she doesn’t do well with clingy people.

- She gets overwhelmed pretty easily. Though she doesn’t show it much on her face, it’s easy for her to feel suffocated by lots of things happening.

- She has to get used to cuddling and only cuddles with people she highly trusts where she doesn’t feel as if she is physically trapped.

- Would not be into toxic relationships. She hates situationships where she isn’t secure and/or doesn’t exactly know what she is with someone. Sevika needs something stable or she will not open up.

- Views her childhood self as a completely different person than herself. She mourns the kid who lost their happiness.

- Doesn’t fall in love easily because of the walls she has built up for years.

- Hates receiving help. Hates asking for it even more.

- Was called scrappy when younger and grew up to become ‘a scary lady’. When she’s able to settle down more she realizes how much she hates being stereotyped as this always angry and violent person.

- After becoming a councilor and being alone again years of pain came back. It took her a long time to work through all of it. She could be doing the most random thing and would burst into tears.

- When she hangs out around people she prefers to be in silence.

- Is hard of hearing after the amount of head trauma she has had. By the time she was in her late 50’s she lost complete hearing in one of her ears.

NSFW

- Likes using her strap but prefers feeling you on her skin.

- Loves scissoring, but only does it on special occasions because hit makes her hips ache.

- Likes being bit (are we surprised?)

- Manhandler.

- Loves seeing you drip over her fingers, stretching you out is her favorite part because she always takes her time.

- Is a masochist, not so much a sadist. She sees enough people getting hurt every day by late season two she wouldn’t inflict pain on you in bed.

- Bush!!!! Loves bush, has a bush, wants a jungle.

- Prefers you dressed down. Never complains when you dress up but seeing you in every day clothes, her clothes, or pajamas is her favorite thing.

- It turns her on when you are at equal positions in your relationship instead of one being over the other, but doesn’t mind your subbing or domming more. switch sevika is real.

- PRAISES! Comes up compliments in bed that you didn’t even know she appreciated.

- Loves you dominating her. Giving up all the power she has to constantly hold it turns her brain to mush.

- Every time she is buried between your thighs she will massage them as she gives you head.

- Wears boy shorts underwear and briefs. Keeps them low cut to show her happy trail.

[elllisaaa]

still thinking about how sweet jake would be when he’s making love with his partner :( i usually see him as someone who prefers quickie etc. but once he makes love to his partner???? the praises??? the small kisses while he’s making love to you??? i would DIE💔💔💔

omggg stop you're so on point with this anonie because we often describe jake as a fucking freak in the bedroom - as we should - but we often forget about his romantic side

JAKE is often so busy and overworked that when he comes home, he doesn't have the energy for more than a quickie or a blowjob in the shower. and it pains him as much as you, because he's obsessed with you, your body and the way you make him feel so loved. so the day he finally can take his time with you, you think he will go all out on you and literally jump your bones but on the contrary, he goes all soft and romantic. 

he just wants to show his appreciation to you, to thank you for all the times you let him use you, for all the times you're here for him and he cannot be here for you - it's just his way to make you feel just how grateful he is to have you in his life and by his side. "you're so pretty my love, i love you so much..." his honey-like voice hasn't stopped whispering these praises against your ear from the moment he pushed his cock inside of you. his thrusts are slow and deep, making you feel all of him and holding you as close as possible because he just needs to make you feel his love for you. "i love you too jakey..." 

his touch is feather-like, contrasting with the way he's usually grabbing at whatever body parts he can, now he's letting himself and you feel his hands going everywhere, slowly rediscovering the curves he knows like the back of his hand. "fuck... you feel so good around me." jake whines against your neck, burying his head against it as the pace of his thrusts slightly increases, just enough to make you moan louder. you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, keeping him as close to you as possible. you shiver to every one of his touches, to every one of his little kisses against your neck and cheeks. 

"jake... i'm close..." - "me too pretty, please, open your eyes, look at me when you cum..." you look up into his eyes, seeing all the adoration and love pouring out of them as one of his hands comes down to slowly circle your clit. "you're so fucking beautiful, shit... making me lose my mind..." his voice is rendered hoarse from all the noises he has been making, and it only makes you whine again, your thighs trembling as you feel your orgasm wash over you. you keep your eyes on him, watching his own face going through ecstasy. 

jake crashes over you, heavily breathing, but the biggest smile on his face as he holds you in his arms for a little longer. he sighs as you run your hands through his hair slowly, feeling him totally relax on top of you. "you know i love you right ? i'm so in love with you it hurts" jake whispers against your neck, feeling the need to remind you that he isn’t here to take advantage of you even if it might feel like it some days. "i know. i love you too." and the smile on his face as he kisses you is all you need to know.

[wonderjanga]

Yo, Wanna Hang Out?

Billy asking people if they want to hang out at the strangest places. They hang out with him anyways regardless of the places are strange.

Marvel: *in the kitchens packing up a fishing kit looking like someone’s dad getting ready to fish*

Aquaman: *nearby, making a sandwich* “You know, I’ve never seen you wear a bucket hat let alone civilian clothes before.”

Marvel: “What do you mean? It’s a fisherman’s hat. And I’m wearing it because I’m gonna go fishing.”

Aquaman: “Still a bucket hat…”

Martian Manhunter(MM): *also nearby, rummaging through the freezer looking for ice cream* “Fishing? Where?”

Aquaman: “Are you gonna go to a big lake or something?”

Marvel: “Yeah! I’m going to the frozen over one on Mars.”

MM: *looks over, now distracted from his quest of finding ice cream* “What-”

Marvel: “The fish there are so cool looking! I was gonna catch a few and then throw them back into the water, you know?”

MM: “No… No I don’t know.” *shakes head slowly*

Aquaman: “Wait, Mars has lakes?”

Marvel: “Yeah! In the south pole. It’s under some ice. Do you wanna come?”

Aquaman: “Well, I mean sure? I’m down to fish with you, but I don’t wanna do that if I have to wear a space suit.”

Marvel: “I don’t think you have to. I remember seeing Supes wearing this thing over his mouth and nose, and it allowed him to breathe in space.”

Aquaman: “Oh cool!”

Marvel: “Yeah, but apparently it’s super cold down there.”

MM: “It is. In human degrees it’s negative 153 degrees Celsius.”

Aquaman: “What’s that in American-”

Marvel: “So yeah! You might have to bundle up or maybe I could cast the heating spell on you? Just know it’ll be really really cold. By the way, J’onn, are you coming too?”

MM: *shrugs* “If you’ll have me.”

They ended up actually getting attacked by this giant, Martian, vaguely octopus-resembling creature. It was an epic battle of which they brought some of it back to the Watchtower and ate a bunch of octopus dishes together.

or

Marvel: *packing some stuff in a little bag and whistling a little tune while dressed like a gardener*

Hawkgirl: “Captain? Are you going somewhere?”

Marvel: “Oh, I’m going to Thanagar cause I wanna pick up this species of plant that only grows there. Wanna come?”

Hawkgirl: “I sort of can’t, considering the fact the entire planet thinks I’m a war criminal for betraying them.”

Marvel: “Wear a disguise. Want me to conjure a fake mustache on you?”

Hawkgirl: *snorts* “No.”

Marvel: “You sure? It doesn’t have to be a fake mustache. We can just change some things about you, like your hair color.”

Hawkgirl: “Hmm…” *rubs her chin, thinking* “Can Carter come along?”

Marvel: “Of course!”

They got caught and ended up going on this wacky adventure of evading the authorities. They even got arrested. Multiple times. They also broke out. Multiple times. It was fun for everyone involved besides the Thanagarian Law Enforcement.

or

Marvel: *humming a tune as he stands inside of a heavily restricted building that only allows people of the highest military clearance access to*

Captain Atom: *is also here because one of his superiors told him to report here and sees Marvel* “Captain Marvel Sir? What are you-” *looks around* “What are you doing here?”

Marvel: “Hey, Atom!” *little wave* “What do you mean?”

Captain Atom: “This is a military building with restricted access. I know you have Captain in your name, but I didn’t actually think you were in any of the branches. Let alone high enough in whatever branch to have access to this place.”

Marvel: “Oh no, I’m not military. I’m just here to renew my contract. I just finished.”

Captain Atom: “Contract?”

Marvel: “See a long time ago, a.k.a. the 1950s, heroes would do contractual jobs for the United States Government. Me and the Squadron of Justice used to do a lot of them.”

Captain Atom: “So that means I’ll be seeing you around here more often?”

Marvel: “Yep! Me and the other Fawcett heroes.”

Super Duper High Level Person In the Government(SDHLPITG): *walks over while holding a clipboard* “Oh, it seems you both are already acquainted.”

Captain Atom: “Ah, yes. We’re both on the Justice League ma’am.”

SDHLPITG: “So that means you’ll be good teammates. Wonderful.” *hands a clipboard to Captain Atom* “The head honcho wants you guys to investigate a portal in Antartica.” *looks to Marvel* “Your first job back with us.” *nods to him before leaving*

Captain Atom: *starts looking through it*

Marvel: *looks over his shoulder to see it* “Isn’t that the portal that leads to the Winter Fairy realm?”

Captain Atom: “What?”

Marvel: “Oh my gosh it is! That place is super cool! Their ice cream is amazing. You should try some.” *nudges him with his elbow*

Captain Atom: “Oh- uh- Okay?” *confused if that means they’ll be interacting with the mentioned fairies*

That’s how Atom and Marvel ended up eating fairy ice cream while surrounded by a bunch of fairies who were all super happy to see the Champion of Magic. They were both made into honorary fairies.

Captain Atom: *staring at the bowl of fairy liquid the Winter Fairies gave them* “Marvel… I don’t know if it’s a good idea to drink a foreign substance that looks like an oil spill.”

Marvel: “Oh trust me, it’s not dangerous or anything. It’ll just give you wings!”

Captain Atom: “What-”

Marvel: *downs his bowl*

After that, all the Winter fairies shied away from them as their wings were too hot for them. After all, Marvel’s was comprised of lightning which is hot, and Atom’s was comprised of the same matter as his energy blasts which were also extremely hot.

Marvel: *leans over to whisper* “Don’t worry. I can magic them away when we leave this place.”

Captain Atom: *lets out a little sigh of relief as he resumes eating his remaining ice cream*

[chipped-chimera]

Okay psych nerd here who is not going to bloat this with a tag explanation and instead just write the thing:

The answer is two things -

Dehumanization / Distancing from Humanity

Moral Psychology

Here's an example in action. So I'm sure everyone knows about the Trolley Problem - you are standing near a train track at the track switch, an out of control train barrelling down the rails. On one of the tracks, are a group of men working on the rails (or tied to the rails if you prefer the image version). If you do nothing, it will collide with the group of people and kill them. On the other hand, if you use the switch and change the track, it'll instead kill just one person. This one people can reasonably complete, the usual choice being kill one to save five or whatever.

But here is another version. The Fat Man Trolley Problem (not my wording). In this version of the Trolley Problem, you are standing on a bridge overpass of a traintrack. Next to you is a very large man. Below you, are the five workmen. The train is out of control, but you realise if you push the fat man off the bridge and onto the track, his mass will be enough to stop the train and save the five people on the track. What do you do?

Naturally, this one prompted visceral reactions from people it was pitched to in studies - which begs the question, how is this version different from the switch problem? In both problems, you have the choice to sacrifice one to save many, but the mere thought of having to physically push another person onto the tracks crosses a line.

That's because a switch distances you from the situation, in a sense, you are removed from the humanity in the decision making and it's pure logic. Harm is a side-effect of flicking the switch, in a way you are less involved. Having to push the man, however, is forcing you to confront the human-ness of the situation, to look someone in the face and make that decision.

A lot of the problems in the world, and their respective government entities who are supposed to be fixing them, often have zero experience in the very thing they're supposed to be solving. They're sitting in an office, far, far away looking at a bunch of numbers spat out by a consulting agency while there are homeless in the streets. The switch they pull is so far away they can't even see the people their decisions affect. And if they think less of the people they are making decisions over, like the very, very, very obviously misplaced idea that homelessness is somehow caused by moral failing - that will distance them from the humanity of the situation even further.

I think back to an article I read about someone who had lost their husband to suicide after many, many, many years struggling, went to a conference regarding mental health. The participants of this conference would be the ones making major decisions that would affect the health and outcomes of other people. She confronts one of them, and asks them - have you ever been affected by depression? have you ever had someone in your family been affected?

He seemed shocked and startled. But he answered no.

That should say everything. Anyway this is why I think it should be mandatory for anyone forming country-wide, dramatically-impactful policies in government, especially regarding minorities and poverty - should have a MANDATORY amount of hours they have to spend per year with said people who will be affected by their decisions. And none of this distanced hand shaking for the cameras, I mean living that experience as closely as possible.

It's not that humanity is dead. It's not that we get up with the intention of causing harm every day. It's just a fact of psychological distancing that causes us to lose our connection with it. This can be unintentional, but sometimes it is intentional. It's often a tactic in war propaganda, to cast the enemy in such an evil light that the idea of killing many to protect or save your people - even if it's women and children, and disabled and elderly people, and civilians - is somehow justified.

So the next time you vote or support a cause or whatever in your life that may end up influencing the situation of people, outside of your known experience - stop for a moment, and have a think about what it is like for those individuals. If you had to physically go to them, and look them in the eyes - would you make the same decisions?

Also vote for people with lived experience into those positions to make the decisions when you can!

It confuses me how normalized it is to be so anti human. The fact that two countries voted no to food being a human right. The fact so many people are against universal healthcare. The fact that it’s normal to believe some people don’t deserve housing because they’re poor, addicts, mentally ill, or any combination of the above. I find it so hard to comprehend that humans who have experienced hunger, thirst, cold, and illness would wish these things upon others, or at the very least not care. It frustrates me beyond belief.

These are the exact values we’re taught as children, to believe all humans are equal in worth and needs, and yet at some point you’re expected to grow out of that illusion. You’re expected to accept that this is what life’s like, that the world is unfair, and attempting to fix it makes you weak and childish.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge - Room Relaxation Voice Lines

It's a waste to sleep the night away! My special day starts now!

Summon: I got a birthday performance and a party to go to... Kheeheehee, tomorrow's sure going to be busy.

Groovification: I hate mornings... But there's so much fun things to do today. I can even appreciate the sun on a day like this!

Home: It's fever time!

Swap Looks: The morning sun's unforgiving today, as always...

Home Transition 1: This hairband is my absolute favorite, because it just increases my cuteness factor tenfold.

Home Transition 2: There's so much I want to do at night: play games, practice the bass, read, watch movies, and sometimes even study... Aaah, there's never enough time to do everything!

Home Transition 3: Birthdays are all about celebrating life and all the joys you receive from it. The date it's celebrated is not what's important.

Home Transition - Login: I get more into dressing up when it's for my birthday. It's no fun for anyone else if the birthday boy isn't looking his sharpest, after all!

Home Transition - Groovy: I got into a spirited conversation about the bass with Jade when he came over to give his thoughts on my birthday performance. I think he really knows his stuff!

Home Tap 1: Hoho! It's not often I spy Leona in the Mystery Shop all by his lonesome. Let's see, maybe I can wheedle a birthday gift out of him. Kheeheehee!

Home Tap 2: When I told him it was my birthday, Deuce practically shouted his birthday greetings to me. He did that even though I told him the same thing about three months back... Cute kid.

Home Tap 3: The eyeshadow Azul gave me looks to be a limited edition version of my favorite brand. Well, isn't he a sharp one.

Home Tap 4: I snagged these slippers from one of those online app crane games. You don't really see fluffy dragon feet like these just anywhere!

Home Tap 5: The string on my hoodie? ...Oh, you're right, the left side is a little too long. These things are a pain to fix once they completely slip out, y'know～!

Home Tap - Groovy: What's up, why're you grinning like that? ...I look cute in this getup? Heheh, well, that's because I'm a cutie, of course I look cute ♪

Duo: [LILIA]: Jade, this is how cute a real adult can be! [JADE]: You're almost too dazzling, Lilia-san.

Birthday Login Message: Thanks for coming to celebrate. I'm more than pleased to have you remember my birthday. The Pop Music Club is planning on having a birthday performance tonight. You'll be joining us too, right? I hear that Kalim is preparing an extra-large cake as a surprise. Cater was worried that it wouldn't be a surprise if he told me, but... Kheeheehee, I'm still happy about it. We'll sing and party, surrounded by all those close to me... It's this kind of birthday that makes me the luckiest guy in the world.

Requested by @kingren77.

[insertdisc5]

✨COOL THINGS I PLAYED/SAW/READ THIS YEAR, 2024!!!!!!!✨

✨MOVIS✨

Knight of Fortune was such a delight. karl's wife is dead-- he has to go to the morgue. to see her one last time. SURPRISINGLY funny given the theme, and incredibly sweet. AND you can watch it in its entirety on youtube

american fiction! incredible movie that made me think. what does it mean to tell "our stories"? what does it mean to show "representation"? how authentic can you truly be about your own lived experience? funny as hell too

if you havent seen Monkey Man, quite frankly i dont want to talk to you. dev patel i will watch whatever you make for the rest of time

the rest under the cut because this list got long

playtime by jacques tati. just slapstick. oh my god this was so goddamn funny

yeah you know it. i was very strong the whole time and then the credits hit and i started sobbing uncontrollably in the theater

challengers and i saw the tv glow are tied in first place for my favorite movie this year. incredibly funny and SO WELL EDITED. highly recommend watching it with friends so you can scream "OH NO HE DIDN'T" together

✨TV SHOWS✨

SHOGUN!!!!!! oh my god there is so much to praise in this show. the costumes! the actors! the story! how they integrated both english and japanese speakers in a realistic way! so good

korean reality shows are not fucking playing around. the editing and sets are truly top notch

✨BUUKS✨

-Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah! what if black mirror was actually good. AND centered the stories of black people. highly recommend

-Character Limit: How Elon Musk Destroyed Twitter by Kate Conger and Ryan Mac! you probably were on twitter when The Whole Thing happened. maybe you dont know the exact details like i do. what if the details were worse i also dont read non-fiction very often, surprised at how fun this was to read!

-The Chromatic Fantasy by H.A.! I've been following their work since forever, and this was a delight to read as always! THE COLORS…………. BITES BITES BITES BITES

-sad girl space lizard. hell yeah (18+ only!)

-Gritli - The Moth Diaries by Sophie Florian und Hanako Emden! this one was just so strange and fascinating. per words of the authors: "Taking on the voices of anthropomorphic animals, the authors write about labour, companionship and crushing."

✨VIDY GAMES✨

skipping balatro, splatoon side order, fields of mistria and webfishing, because you probably know about those. uuuuh

i am too stupid for Void Stranger, but My God if you're smart this game will become your favorite game ever. 2D sokoban with so many secrets

marchen line!!! nth circle never misses. the visuals here are so fun!!! the UI! the plot! the almost-automatic-censoring when you see gore, as if your mecha body took a second to load!! hell fucking yeah

"adrienne, of the devil was this year" OH WORD? THEN EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY OF THE DEVIL'S FIRST EPISODE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

life after magic! magical girls are now adults, and magic is disappearing. what now? the art is so cute, and the story was very engaging. thank you for the additional episode with [spoilers]

i started nine sols and i think i might be enough of a gamer to beat it

shadow generations game of the year no contest. thank you for your time

you can also look at my massive list of stuff i played/watched/etc here. i am not posting this whole dang thing

[cognitiveoverload]

A temporary goodbye (Front Man / Hwang In-Ho x reader)

summary: The first game is about to begin, and the Front Man needs to talk to his right hand man - who happens to be a little more than that.

tags: secret relationship, established relationship, fem!reader in mind

note: I had this scene in my head and just had to write it.

You’re standing next to the Front Man in the control room in silence, patiently waiting for his orders as always. There’s a lot going on in your head, so it’s not a surprise that you find yourself stealing a glance at him more and more often, because he’s the reason why you’re a little distracted today. This is the first day of the games, and while normally it’s a routine task, this year things are different. Everyone can feel it, but very few know the reason.

“I’ll watch the first game in my room,” he suddenly announces, and before you could react, he walks away. You let out a sigh under your mask, disappointed that you can’t talk to him before he springs into action, but then he calls back, his voice cutting through the silence. “Bunny, with me.”

The mask luckily hides the wide grin that appears on your face upon hearing him say this. You were supposed to have a proper code name, but he decided that Bunny suited you more, which is why you began to use it, and he even got you a bronze rabbit mask that matched his own in style. As usual, you follow him without a question, passing by the staff members who are preparing for the first game.

In his private room, the Front Man sits in the armchair and pours himself a drink, and eventually he takes off his mask too, feeling comfortable and safe enough to let it go temporarily. You can feel your heart beating in your throat as you wait for him to show any sign that he remembers you’re there. Sometimes he gets so lost in his job that you have to remind him of your presence.

But not this time. Now he clears his throat and raises his hand to signal you to go closer. “Say it,” he orders, although his voice is gentle, as it is every time he talks to you. 

Since you’re obedient enough, you pad closer and stop by his side, a small smile creeping on your lips when you look at him. Four years. You’ve been working together for four years, but he only took off his mask around you two years ago. This was his way of showing his trust, something you truly appreciated. 

“Take off the mask, we’re alone.” He finally looks up at you, a faint smirk visible as he watches you follow his order. Once it’s placed on top of his, he sneaks an arm around your waist and pulls you into his lap. “So? What’s on your mind? I can see something’s bothering you.”

Letting out a long sigh, you wrap an arm around his shoulder and lean in to give him a tentative kiss. “Are you sure about this? Joining the game, I mean,” you clarify.

In-ho lets out a quiet, humorless laugh. “You know perfectly well why I’m doing that. But it’s okay, you don’t have to worry,” he assures you as he rests his hand on your thigh, his fingers digging into your skin to ground you. Because he knows you. He knows you’re spiraling, he knows you think something bad will happen, which always kicks your brain into overdrive. 

“If you don’t get out in time, I’ll be stuck babysitting the VIPs,” you say with a pout.

“You’d be fine.” When you give him a sceptical look, he kisses you again, and he even moves his hand closer to your inner thigh. The moment a soft moan escapes your lips, though, he stops. “Since when do you doubt me?” he wonders, his eyes examining your face to see the reaction.

Shaking your head, you rest your forehead against his. “I don’t doubt you, I’m just… Look, I know you can protect yourself, and you thought of everything, but we don’t know what he’s planning. He’s a ticking time bomb in there,” you explain. 

“Keep an eye on the team while I’m in the game. Everything’s supposed to go smoothly, but if something happens… take care of it.” 

You nod without hesitation, after all, that’s why you’re here. That’s why you became his right hand man. What’s happening between you–the stolen moments, the shared life back home when you’re not busy preparing for the next games–is a secret you’re keeping to yourselves. You’re the only ones who should know about it, no one else. It’s personal, and if anyone knew about this connection, they could easily use it against him. 

In the beginning, you tried to resist the pull, you tried to escape his gravitational field, but then In-ho made you understand that it was okay, that you could make this work. He would make sure you can make this work. By now, you’re sure he would go to great lengths to protect you, he would get rid of anyone who ever dared to even look at you the wrong way. 

The moment is ruined when you hear the instructions of the first game, a sign that it has begun. You both turn to the screen to watch it, but his hand is still teasing you, even if it’s nothing more but a subconscious movement. The comfortable silence between you is based on the deep understanding of each other, but you’re a little startled when he speaks up, not bothering to look at you. 

“I love you, Bunny, never forget that,” he says quietly, as if he was telling this to himself. 

A warm smile crawls on your lips. “I love you too.”

[mossangelll]

good luck on your exams! would love to hear some vi or sevika yandere headcanons

thank you so much!! my exams are starting this week and i’m pretty nervous >.<

i won’t go into too much detail, so if you’d ever want smth more detailed just drop an ask and i’ll (eventually lol) get to it :3

Yandere!Vi

one of the more ‘sane’ yanderes

tries her best to avoid kidnapping you; whilst her feelings for you are anything but normal, she still wants to feel like she’s in a relatively normal relationship with you

charms the pants off you with no trouble at all

you genuinely wouldn’t know anything was wrong with her - she seems so put together

you say yes to being her partner and that’s when you notice how controlling she can be

vi is smart enough to make sure that her less desirable tendencies don’t show up until you’re deeply entrenched in the relationship

it’s all peaches and cream until she’s punching the wall next to your head because you dared to talk to that guy at the bar

then all of a sudden you’ve got a curfew and can’t go anywhere without her

and before you know it you’re trapped inside your house because “it’s not safe out there in the lanes”

makes you get a tattoo with her name over your heart (she does the same)

however, if you’re somehow not charmed by her, she decides to turn to more…unorthodox methods

hires a street gang to rough you up a little - not enough to seriously hurt you, no, vi could never do that to you; just enough to knock some much needed sense into you

i mean, how can you not like her back???

she swoops onto the scene to save you and ensures you’re caught in her snares

the happy ever after you both deserve <3

Yandere!Sevika

sevika is an interesting yandere

she probably comes off as more of a stundete at first - she’s not the most expressive when it comes to showing romantic affection like some of the other yanderes

she keeps tabs on you, a regular at the bar, all the time but you’re convinced she hates you and must think you untrustworthy

why else would you be on her radar?

in reality her checking up on you, making sure nobody tries to be funny with you is her way of showing interest

don’t get me wrong, she can make a nun blush with her flirting skills but she’s never felt so obsessed with anyone before and doesn’t know how to process it

it all comes to a head when she has a particularly rough day at work, a few bourbons deep and she decides to take you

quite literally hooks her arms around you and carries you over her shoulders

it doesn’t matter how much or how loud you scream, it’s hopeless

she’s so much stronger than you and onlookers that watch your struggle don’t even dare to move an inch - sevika has a fierce reputation and nobody would want to anger her

can be very threatening and acts that way often at the beginning of your captivity

scolds you often and when you go on a hunger strike she rolls her eyes and force feeds you herself

you don’t see this coming but she makes you kiss her cheek before she leaves every morning and when she comes back at night

she doesn’t care if you look like you’re on the brink of tears doing so, to sevika it’s only fair she gets this when she’s busy protecting you every day

has you help her clean her prosthetic arm in pure silence

her favourite part of the day/week <3

she may be angry but at the end of the day every cruel and calculated thing she does is for your sake

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

Soundwave's going to have an aneurysm when he comes to safe Y/N from the autobots. Just gives Optimus a look that very clearly reads "you're supposed to be better than this"

Shockwave comes very close to deleting his research material because this simply isn't worth it

Optimus sends the Decepticons a “sorry I stole your spouse I thought they were actually a prisoner” card with like balloons and a teddy bear.

The Autobots are going fucking hysterical because Soundwave and Shockwave are married to a fucking human. Like yeah Powerglide has his GF but Autobots love humans. Decepticons on the other hand???

Not only are you three married but y’all get down and dirty in the berth often enough for Shockwave to do research on it. Like everyone is losing their minds.

Some are kind of hopeful that maybe this means that the Decepticons will learn to leave the humans alone and yaddayaddayadda.

Others are making bets on who else is in on this relationship at the Decepticon base.

A select few (particularly Wheeljack, Hotrod, Bumblebee, and Hound to name some) are going bananas for some humussy. Is the human valve really that good that the Waves are willing to share a human???

[just-null]

How... Would the hantengu clones kiss their darling?

These freaks.. It's not often they get more than a peck lest they make each other jealous. But allowing them to get a proper kiss... greedy needy demons..........

Sekido— Bruising. He likes to hold your face and feel how squishy your cheeks are, but presses his lips way too hard that he could knock you over if he weren't holding you. When you try to pull away, he might just bite to scold you to stay. He also never stops at just one, so brace yourself..

There's a lot of passion behind his kisses that leave accidental physical marks. On one hand, he feels a bit bad for hurting you, but on the other, it's like his love is searing itself into your skin...

Such blatant intimacy isn't common for him, and he wants you to REMEMBER that he loves you just as much, if not more, than the others or anyone else even if he's as loving as a cactus. Luckily, he doesn't like to kiss you with a single soul around, so you're more or less secure!

Karaku— Opportunistic. When you linger for a bit, he'll try to turn the kiss sensual and make the most out of it. It always progresses slowly, but he's handsy and always willing to test the waters with what you let him get away with.

Oh, and he doesn't just stop at your lips. He trails them down your jaw, then neck, to your chest, and.. From there, it usually snowballs into something..!!! more than a kiss!!! way more!!

Laughter always follows when you shove him off. It's the only way he stops in his tracks aside from getting pulled off. He never fights you on it too much, but you're always pushing him away by the end of it if you're not planning on a sudden rendezvous.

Urogi— Overwhelming. He gets excited with a single kiss, but if you allow him more? There's a palpable attempt at being chaste, but it quickly escalates into messy, enthusiastic kisses where your teeth are clacking against his.

He'll grab your arms and pepper your face with his lips until he gets some semblance of cuteness aggression and bite you. Whether it be your lips, cheeks, or anywhere he can get his teeth on, he'll take a nip and lick over it to soothe.

He doesn't bite hard enough to bleed because he's yanked away before he actually takes a piece. It's not that he wants to eat you, but you're so cute he wants to take a nibble till you're all his mouth feels! but not literally!

Aizetsu— Insanely gentle. With strength as insane as his and knowledge of every weak point in the human body, he gets worried about hurting you. They're usually feather light or a soft peck, never long enough for a proper kiss though he doesn't exactly make it a secret that he wants more.

You always see the way his gaze is glued onto your lips afterward, like he's debating with himself to go back in or not. That's when you decide for him.

He rests his hands on the back of your neck, pleasantly surprised that you want him to indulge himself this time. Trying to break the kiss is the problem... his grip is strong that you can't pull away, and he's enjoying the moment too much to notice.

[agiiiiiiiiiiiii]

Reconnecting

Hey, this is one of my favourites!

nico hischier x reader Theme: fluff, birth, dad nico, alluding to smut Words: 2703

—————————————————————————————————————

The contractions had been coming steadily for hours, and now you were finally in the hospital, gripping Nico's hand tightly as the nurses prepped you for delivery. He was by your side, his face a mix of excitement, worry, and awe as he tried his best to support you. Every time you groaned or winced in pain, he whispered reassurances, his Swiss-accented voice soft and steady.

“You’re incredible,” he murmured as he kissed your forehead, brushing a sweaty strand of hair from your face. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Well, it’s not like I can stop now,” you joked through gritted teeth, trying to manage the next contraction. Despite the pain, his presence grounded you. You knew he was just as nervous as you were, but he stayed strong, holding your hand like it was the most important job in the world.

When the doctor announced it was time to push, you felt a wave of panic. The reality of what was about to happen hit you hard, and on top of the physical challenge, another thought crept into your mind: Nico’s going to see everything.

“You’re staying up here, right?” you asked breathlessly, giving him a pointed look.

Nico hesitated, glancing toward the doctor before looking back at you. “I mean… I kind of want to see,” he admitted, his voice cautious but filled with curiosity.

Your eyes widened. “Nico!” you hissed, squeezing his hand harder as another contraction hit.

“Hey, hey,” he said quickly, leaning down to kiss your temple. “I’ll stay wherever you want me to. But… you’re amazing, and I just—I don’t know…”

You couldn’t find the energy to argue, and soon enough, you were too focused on pushing to care where he stood. But you did notice when he moved slightly toward the end of the bed, his hand never leaving yours. The sound of encouragement from the nurses and the doctor filled the room, along with Nico’s soft murmurs of awe.

“Wow…” he whispered at one point, his voice barely audible over your labored breathing.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the baby’s cries filled the room. Relief and joy washed over you as the doctor placed the tiny bundle on your chest. Tears streamed down your face as you looked down at your son, Nico quickly moving to your side to see him.

He was crying too, his hand shaking as he brushed it over the baby’s tiny head. “You did it,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re… unbelievable.”

———————————

It wasn’t until later, after the baby was cleaned and swaddled, and you were resting in the hospital bed, that you remembered your earlier self-consciousness. Nico was sitting beside you, the baby cradled carefully in his arms, his face lit with pure love.

“I can’t believe you watched all of that,” you said softly, a hint of embarrassment creeping into your tone. “I probably looked—”

“Don’t even start,” he interrupted, his gaze snapping to yours. “You were amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. You brought our baby into the world, y/n. How could I see anything but how incredible you are?”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you reached out to stroke his cheek. “You’re too good to me,” you whispered.

He leaned over, kissing you gently. “No, you’re the one who’s too good. I’ll never forget today. Not just because of him—but because of you.”

As he pulled back, the baby stirred in his arms, and Nico smiled down at them, his entire world reflected in his eyes. “We’re a family now,” he said softly. “And I’m the luckiest guy alive.”

——————————

It had been six weeks since the baby was born, and life had been a whirlwind of sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and so much love that it often felt overwhelming. But tonight, for the first time in what felt like forever, the baby was asleep, and the house was quiet. You and Nico finally had a moment to yourselves.

You were curled up on the couch together, Nico’s arm draped around you as a movie played softly in the background. His fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on your shoulder, sending a familiar shiver down your spine. You tilted your head to look at him, catching the way his gaze softened when he met your eyes.

“I’ve missed this,” you said softly, your hand sliding over his chest.

“Me too,” he admitted, brushing a strand of hair from your face. His voice was warm but hesitant, and you could feel the tension in the way he held you. “You, us… all of it.”

You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips, slow and intentional. He responded immediately, his hand coming to rest on your hip, but just as the kiss deepened, he pulled back slightly, his brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, searching his face.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just… I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to rush anyth-”

You placed a hand on his cheek, your thumb brushing gently along his jawline. “Nico, love, I’m okay,” you reassured him. “I’ve been cleared by the doctor, and I feel ready. I want this… I want you. Please.”

His eyes searched yours, still unsure. “Are you sure? I mean, it was—what you went through—it was incredible, but also…”

You smiled gently, your heart warming at how much he cared. “I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around. But I promise, if something doesn’t feel right, I’ll tell you. We’ll take it slow.”

He nodded, though he still looked a little unsure. “Okay,” he said softly, his hand resting over yours. “But if anything feels wrong, you have to tell me. No pushing through, no trying to be tough. Promise?”

“Promise,” you said, leaning up to kiss him again. This time, he didn’t pull back. Instead, he held you close, his touch careful but full of love.

You guided him gently, reassuring him with soft touches and whispered words, easing both of your nerves as you found your rhythm together again. Nico was as attentive as ever, checking in with you constantly, his focus entirely on your comfort and happiness. His tenderness melted away any lingering fears you had, and soon the hesitation was replaced with the same connection and intimacy you’d always shared.

Afterward, as you lay tangled together under the covers, Nico pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hand resting over yours on his chest. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

“You’ve said that a lot lately,” you teased lightly, smiling up at him.

“Well, it’s true,” he said, his gaze soft and full of love. “And tonight… was just unbelievable. Thank you.”

You snuggled closer, your heart full. “Thank YOU for always putting me first.”

As the baby’s soft cries broke the moment, Nico let out a quiet laugh, kissing your forehead again before slipping out of bed. “I’ll get him,” he said, glancing back at you with a smile. “You rest.”

Watching him disappear down the hall, you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. Life had changed so much in just a few weeks, but your love for Nico—and his for you—only seemed to grow stronger with every new challenge.

A few moments after Nico left to tend to the baby, you heard his soft, soothing voice down the hallway. Soon, he reappeared, carrying your tiny bundle of joy in his arms. The sight of Nico in just his boxers, gently rocking your baby, melted your heart. His eyes sparkled as he walked back to your side, carefully settling the baby into your arms.

“He’s hungry,” Nico said softly, brushing a kiss over your temple as he sat down beside you.

You adjusted yourself and helped the baby latch on, the familiarity of the process already bringing you a sense of calm. Nico, however, stayed close, his eyes filled with quiet awe as he watched. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his gaze locked on your baby with a kind of reverence that made your cheeks warm.

“Does it… hurt?” he asked after a moment, his voice low and hesitant, as though he didn’t want to disturb the peaceful scene.

You glanced at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Not anymore,” you explained. “It was a little uncomfortable at first, but now it’s… it’s just natural. It feels like this bond—something only I can give him.”

Nico’s expression softened, and he reached out to gently run his fingers along your arm. “It’s amazing,” he murmured. “I don’t know how you do it.”

You chuckled quietly, glancing down at the baby as they suckled contentedly. “Well, it’s not like I have much of a choice. He’s hungry, and I’m his food source.”

“No, I mean all of it,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity. “You carried him for nine months, went through labor, and now… this. Your body is doing all of this. It’s incredible.”

His words made your cheeks flush, a mix of pride and shyness washing over you. “It’s not just me, you know,” you said, looking back at him. “You’ve been amazing through everything. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

He shook his head, his gaze still fixed on you. “You’re the real superhero here,” he insisted. “Watching you now… I can’t even describe it. It’s just—wow.”

You laughed softly, though his awe made you feel both shy and incredibly loved. “It’s not always this serene, you know. Sometimes he’s fussy, and I’m tired, and it’s messy.”

“Still amazing,” he said firmly, leaning over to press a kiss to your shoulder. “Messy, fussy, tired—you’re incredible through it all.”

The baby finished feeding and let out a tiny, satisfied sigh, making Nico grin. He took him from you to burp them, his movements careful and deliberate. “You’re my hero,” he said quietly, glancing back at you as he cradled the baby against his chest. “And his, too.”

The tenderness in his voice made your heart swell. As you lay back against the pillows, watching Nico with your baby, you felt a deep sense of contentment. Life might be hectic and exhausting, but moments like this—filled with love and awe—made it all worth it.

———————————

Few days after, you found yourself sitting at the kitchen table with Nina, Nico’s sister, who had come over to spend some time with you and the baby. The two of you had always been close, and she’d been a wonderful support throughout your pregnancy and the early weeks of motherhood. With the baby napping peacefully in their bassinet, you were sipping on tea and catching up.

“So,” she began, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “How’s everything going now that the little one is here? And I mean everything.”

You raised an eyebrow, pretending not to understand. “Everything?” you echoed innocently, taking a sip of your tea.

She smirked knowingly. “Don’t play coy. I mean… you and Nico. You know, after the baby.”

Your cheeks flushed instantly, and you glanced around to make sure no one else was in earshot. “Oh my God, do we really have to talk about this?” you whispered, though you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course we do,” she said, leaning closer with a conspiratorial grin. “Come on, you can trust me. I’m your sister-in-law, practically your partner-in-crime.”

You hesitated for a moment, but the truth was, you did trust her. She was the kind of person who could turn even the most awkward topics into something casual and easy. Finally, you sighed and admitted, “Okay, fine. Oh my god, I can’t believe I am saying this, okay… We did it…..for the first time…. since the birth. Few nights ago.”

Her eyes widened, and she leaned back in her chair, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Oh, wow! And…? How was it? Was it weird? Or was it… you know… good?”

You felt your face heat up even more, but her curiosity and enthusiasm made you laugh. “It was… good,” you said honestly, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Nico was so sweet. He was really nervous about it, but we took it slow. He kept checking in the whole time, and it just felt… right. Like we were reconnecting after everything.”

Her expression softened, and she reached across the table to squeeze your hand. “That’s so sweet. He’s such a softie when it comes to you—I love that.”

“Yeah, he really is,” you said, your heart warming at the thought of him. “It wasn’t just about the physical part, you know? It felt like this new chapter for us, as parents but still as a couple. Like we’re figuring it all out together.”

She nodded, her smile turning a little mischievous. “And now that you’ve broken the ice, do you think it’s going to be back to normal soon? Or is it still baby steps?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I think it’ll be baby steps for a while. But that’s okay. We’re in no rush.”

“Well, if anyone can balance a new baby and keeping the romance alive, it’s you two,” she said with a wink. “Just don’t forget to take care of yourselves as much as you take care of that little one.”

Her words stuck with you, and as the two of you continued chatting, you felt grateful to have someone like her in your corner—someone who understood, supported you, and could make even the most awkward conversations feel normal.

————————————

Later that evening, Nico returned home after running a few errands, looking relaxed and happy to be back. You were in the living room, rocking the baby in your arms, when his sister walked in from the kitchen with a sly grin on her face. You didn’t think much of it until she stopped in front of Nico, her hands on her hips.

“So,” she began dramatically, her grin widening, “I heard you two finally broke the dry spell.”

You froze, your cheeks instantly flushing a deep red. “Oh my God,” you blurted, glaring at her. “You didn’t!”

Nico’s eyebrows shot up, and his face turned pink as he whipped his head toward you. “Wait, what? You told her?” he asked, his voice a mix of surprise and embarrassment.

“She asked!” you said defensively, though you couldn’t stop the nervous laughter bubbling out of you. “And I thought I could trust her.”

“Oh, come on,” his sister said, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s not like I’m telling the whole world. Just curious.” She batted her eyelashes mockingly, clearly enjoying herself.

Nico groaned, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this,” he muttered, shooting you a mock glare. “You told her?”

“She’s your sister!” you said with a shrug, trying to defend yourself but failing to suppress your grin. “It’s not like I told a stranger.”

“Well, now she’s never going to let this go,” he grumbled, glaring playfully at his sister. “Do you have to tease me about everything?”

“Yes,” she said confidently, crossing her arms. “Especially when it’s this entertaining.”

Nico shook his head, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward despite his embarrassment. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, before turning back to you. “And you… we’re going to have a long talk about oversharing.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, your cheeks still flushed. “I’ll try to keep my secrets next time,” you teased.

Nico rolled his eyes but leaned down to kiss your forehead anyway, his affection cutting through his faux annoyance. “You’re lucky I love you,” he said softly, before glancing back at his sister. “And you—stay out of our business.”

“Not a chance,” she said, winking at you as she walked past. “But don’t worry, I won’t share any details with Mom and Dad… for now.”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands as Nico laughed, shaking his head at his sister’s antics. Despite the teasing, the lighthearted moment reminded you just how close and supportive his family was—and how lucky you were to be a part of it.

[aceofheartsssss]

Jealous Confusion - ⭐️ Starscream ⭐️ x Human Reader Mini Fic

@skittyhugger requested this I felt like doin’ it cuz I like doing random shit for no reason. It’s a very short blurb-fic thingy, hope that’s okay, pookies. Gender-neutral reader cuz yeah.

Y’all can also imagine any version of Starscream if you want to btw. Enjoy!!!

-

‘There he goes again, whispering about who knows what…’ The human thought, watching from a distance, mind burning with curiosity. The fleshling watched as Starscream whispered something into Windblade’s audials. Then, Windblade giggled with that adorable giggle of hers, replying to him in a whisper as well. Starscream turned pink. These types of interactions between these two had been happening for a while now. Recently, Starscream seemed to be growing distant from his human ally, a friend, if you will, always making new excuses to leave. And lately, he'd been getting closer to Windblade. The human walked away; it was too much to take right now. A sigh escaped the fleshling’s mouth. “Fuckin’ thoughts. It’s impossible… and stupid as hell.” The fleshy thought aloud, plopping onto a couch. The human shouldn’t have been feeling this upset and jealous about two bots growing close, but the painful truth was that the little thing had somehow been around Starscream long enough to develop a crush on him. A strong crush. It was pure stupidity, a ridiculous notion, the human thought, not only because Starscream was millions of years older, much too many feet taller, but oh, he was a freaking alien. There was no way he was ever going to fall, let alone be attracted to a human, so why even give it a shot? It was a suicide attempt to try. The squishy didn’t even remember how or when this feeling started. It just did, and it only snowballed, getting worse. To top it all off, the fleshling was also mentally in denial about the crush. It was all a big, confusing concoction of emotions. That day, the fleshy avoided Starscream as much as possible, hanging out with random Autobots instead. It almost seemed like they could also tell something was off.

About one long week had passed of the squishy living life somewhat normally whilst still avoiding Starscream more as he hung out with Windblade more often than ever. One day, the tiny human was broken out from a train of thought by a giant metallic digit gently nudging the soft squishy’s shoulder. Surely a random bot like Bumblebee, but no, when the human turned and looked up, there was Starscream, looking all the way down. The fleshling frowned instinctively. “What?” The angry human asked stiffly. “Are you alright, Squishy?” Starscream asked, tilting his helm curiously. His tone was a little different today. “Yes.” The human replied in the most bland, monotone voice ever, accompanied by a stiff expression. Starscream frowned, poking the human’s cheek. “It doesn’t look like you’re alright. You’ve been very distant.” He said gently, kneeling down to be closer to the fleshing’s face. He looked adorable this way, trying to shrink down and be as close as he could; the weak fleshy couldn’t take it. “I-I’m just… I… ugh, just forget it-” The flustered human said, trying to speak harshly but coming off as a little nervous. Starscream looked like he was thinking of what to say next; he almost looked nervous? Then, seeming almost as if he'd rehearsed this a million times, he spoke. “Well, I was thinking- if you wish to, we could go out for a drink... or to a human film and… hang out.” Starscream said with a silly little smile. The confused fleshling blinked, anger suddenly gone, brows furrowed. “Wait, what? What are you… why?” The little human asked. Starscream looked off to the side and scoffed nervously. “Well, I believe what I’m referring to is called a… date…” Starscream trailed off reluctantly, and he was turning pink. He looked adorable when he was nervous. The human’s eyes slowly widened as the realization of what was happening set in. Starscream did like the human. “A date? With… me? Why? What about Windblade? I thought you liked her… I thought you guys were…” The human trailed off curiously, realizing that the Windblade thing was a misunderstanding but simultaneously thinking that surely Starscream had said something wrong. Sometimes, he'd get human words and their meanings wrong. “Windblade? No- I don't like her like that… I- er, may have been asking Windblade for… advice- anyway, never mind that-” Starscream said nervously, his face most definitely turning a different shade. Could bots even blush? Guess so. He was obviously not used to this. It was almost too cute for the human to handle. “So, would you like to? If not, that's alright… you are a human, after all, and-” “Yes- I’ve liked you for a while- I thought you’d never like me-” The human said instantly, nodding quickly, cutting Starscream off from any doubts and insecurities. His optics widened when he heard the eagerness and confession of the squishy human, and he smiled. The human's denial was no longer existent, because this was definitely a very real, huge crush. "Well, shall we?" Starscream lent a servo down softly, and the human happily hopped on it as they took off. This was surely the start of something new...

-

Somewhere, Windblade giggled maniacally because she'd been a great wingwoman, and her advice had actually worked.

Well, tell me what y'all thought about it! Like if you liked, gimme advice, etc. See ya later, pookies! <3 Pic link: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/120752833734196921/