#Because never trust a mime

[lettherebemonsters]

Me when I remember I made TWO clown OCs that hot second I was obsessed with Pretzel Jack in Channel Zero...

[literaila]

megumi's demon dogs cuddling with reader and satoru gets jealous 🤭

“you’re just doing this on purpose.”

“leave us alone, satoru. or better yet, go get us a snack. i think there’s some jerky in the pantry.”

satoru sighs and walks to the kitchen counter, where megumi is attempting to write a report. “megumi,” satoru says, his voice trying to be rough. “release them.”

megumi doesn’t even look at him. “why? they’re playing.”

“they’re stealing my wife.”

“we’re not married!” you call, and resume cooing at the dog on your lap.

“megumi, im lost without her. i might die. don’t you want to help me?”

“not really.”

satoru scoffs, leaning against the counter, on top of megumi’s papers. “i’m the reason you have them, you know.”

“i don’t use your shadows for summoning,” megumi retorts, trying to push him off.

“why not? they’re probably better than everyone else’s.”

“i don’t trust you.”

satoru remains where he is, pouting.

“satoru,” you call, from the couch, “let megumi do his homework.”

“yeah, satoru,” megumi says, pulling his hair.

“it’s papa to you.”

megumi mimes throwing up. then he pinches satoru’s ear, which is evil and who knows who taught him that? (you did).

“go away, gojo.”

“they’re probably tired,” satoru whispers. “you should give them a break.”

“don’t!” you say, laughing when one of them licks your face.

satoru watches, a devastating frown on his face.

“you’re so sweet,” you’re telling them, in a voice satoru doesn’t think he’s ever heard you use. “how’d you get so sweet?”

if satoru was a dog, his tail would probably wag at just the sound of your voice too.

he’s never wanted to hurt an animal more.

“hey,” megumi pokes satoru’s cheek. “can you move?”

“not until you give me my wife back.”

“she’s just petting them.”

“she’s neglecting me.”

“if you grow some fur, i’ll pet you too,” you tell satoru, still not paying any attention to him.

“what about my beautiful skin?”

“meh. overrated.”

“just say you hate me.”

you roll your eyes but you still haven’t looked at satoru, or smiled at him, or told him that you love him today.

how is he supposed to go on like this? the kids were trouble enough. now he has to fight two dogs?

“megumi, what if i give you—“

“i told you to stop bribing the children,” you interrupt, shaking your head. “i already told him, yes i did,” you say to the dogs, voice full of fake sympathy.

“i don’t want your money anyway.”

“how about my love and affection?”

megumi raises an eyebrow, his face far too amused for satoru’s liking.

“tsumiki would never treat me like this.”

“you can go pick her up,” you tell him. “just say that you missed her. she’ll probably be fine with you dragging her away from her friends because you’re jealous and lonely. most teenagers wouldn’t mind that.”

megumi laughs.

“i don’t deserve this.” satoru stands up, huffing at both of you, and walking down the hall towards his room. “i’m gonna find a home where im appreciated.”

you coo again. “good luck! ask them to send us some snacks.”

satoru groans, leaning against the wall.

“can we really send him away?” megumi asks you as soon as he thinks satoru is gone.

“mmm,” you pretend to think about it. “it’d be a hard sell.”

“i can make the posters.”

at that, satoru turns right around, bursting back into the room with a scoff. but before anyone can say anything, he walks over to where you are on the couch and falls on your lap.

“ugh, satoru,” you say, groaning as you adjust to his body weight on yours.

“you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

you roll your eyes, but resume your petting—this time it’s satoru at your will, though. he basically purrs into your touch. “i knew it was too good to be true.”

“should i still make that ad or…”

satoru throws a pillow at him in retaliation and you just shake your head. but it doesn’t seem to matter who you’re petting, as long as there’s someone there.

[oddeyevibes]

MK1 flirty Intros w/ Pro-Wrestler!Reader

(Featuring: Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Raiden, Sindel, Kenshi)

Notes: Was lowkey basing reader off of Tina Armstrong from DOA. Reader and Johnny know each other because Reader’s success as a wrestler had them cameo in one of Johnny’s movies. One of Liu Kang’s champions.

Johnny Cage 🕶️

Johnny: Whatcha gonna do when Cageamania runs WILD on you?! 😎

Y/N: And this is why I didn’t come back for Ninja Mime 2 🙄

Johnny: I would love for you to be the Ms/Mr L/N to my Johnny Savage 🥴

Y/N: Why can’t you ask me out like a normal person? 😒

Johnny: How much for your championship belt?

Y/N: Come back when you survive Tommy the Hun. 😤

Y/N: You would NEVER last in MY ring, pretty boy. 🥱

Johnny: So you DO think I’m pretty. 😏

Y/N: Cage you have got to stop the wrestling puns.😒

Johnny: Don’t act like they’re not making you chuckle, tiger 🥴

Johnny: You know, I AM a bachelor again. 😏

Y/N: Hmm…but are you a suitable one? 🤔

Kung Lao 🎓

Kung Lao: My fighting prowess vs your circus act. 😏

Y/N: Lao have you ever been on the receiving end of a Crossface? 😤

Y/N: Are all farm boys as cute as you. 🥰

Kung Lao: *chuckles* No, I’m one of a kind. 😘

Kung Lao: I had heard wrestling was fake but that exploding barbed wire match was too brutal! 😨

Y/N: *laughs* Aww, look at you all worried. 🥰

Y/N: Y’know…I think I’d look good in your hat…and nothing else. 😉

Kung Lao: Hm?🤨….Oh!😐 Ohhhhh…😳

Kung Lao: After this match, you HAVE to meet Madam Bo! 😃

Y/N: Already taking me to meet your mother figure, are you? 😏

Y/N: Farm boy, huh? You must be good with your hands. 😏

Kung Lao: I’d like to think so.🥴

Raiden ⚡️

Y/N: My eyes are up here, Raiden. 🤭

Raiden: Yes!😳 I apologize!

Y/N: Y’know, I’m a sucker for farm boys.

Raiden: *tries to hide his blushing*

Raiden: It’s amazing how quick you initiate those holds.

Y/N: Thanks. I can show you a few if you want…privately of course.

Raiden: What did Madame Bo pull you aside for?🤨

Y/N: Oh you know…the usual…thinly veiled threats about what would happen if I broke your heart….maybe not so thin.

Kenshi🗡️

Kenshi: What do you see in Cage as a friend? 🤨

Y/N: He grows on you, trust me. ☺️

Kenshi: I’m not someone you should get involved with. 😔

Y/N: I know how to handle wise guys, Kenshi.

Y/N: I should’ve done more to protect you. 🥺

Kenshi: You cannot blame yourself for this, Y/N.

Kenshi: I caught one of your matches when you were in Japan. You’re technicality is impressive.

Y/N: Oh! 😯 Thank you! 😊

Kenshi: How did you get roped up into that Ninja Mime cameo?

Y/N: *groan* It was a favor to Cris.

Y/N: Sento doesn’t watch…does it?

Kenshi: I…..hadn’t thought of that.

Sindel 🔊

Sindel: Wrestling is a revered art form in Outworld. What about Earthrealm?

Y/N: Depends on your definition of revered. 😅

Sindel: Can you keep up?

Y/N: I won’t lose my breath, Empress.

Sindel: So already a champion? Interesting.

Y/N: Yeah, it’s not the same as Earthrealm champion but..yeah~🥰

Y/N: So Li Mei is…..👀

Sindel: *chuckles* it’s feels nice to have someone be jealous over me again. 🥰

Y/N: So how much work is there being a consort?

Sindel: About as much as being the Empress.

Y/N: Will Mileena and Kitana think this weird? 🥺

Sindel: They will come to love you, dearest. 🥰

[ratskinsuit]

*Thows this into the pit I keep you all in*

Here gremlins, food, specifically Adam flavored

This was made for my very best friends birthday, that was on march 2nd @chaoticcornchip, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL <3

(I’ve never written for Adam before so expect shittyness, and she let me do this)

Boyfriend headcanons: + Random ones

He definitely confessed first, because he’s Adam

Idk what sort of dark magic you did to get him to fall for you

Or have him STAY committed, that’s an achievement

When you two first started dating, you kind of just assumed that he would keep it hidden

No.

He is FLAUNTING you all around heaven.

“THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND BITCHES. AND YOU FUCKING DICK SUCKERS COULD NEVER PULL SOMEONE LIKE THISSS”

Doesn’t let you go anywere near hell (whether your a demon or not) he doesn’t trust it

Honestly very scared of losing you

(He has abandonment issues because I say so)

Is terrified if you leaving him just like his other two wives did

Clingy

He will just randomly call you at like 3am because he’s overthinking and he’s lonely

His love language is your time spent together

Whether it’s him ranting about his day to you or just a movie and cuddles

Also expect lots of gifts, you will be spoiled

If he’s busy one day and isn’t there to spend time with you, expect to find something like a necklace on your dresser

He is very good with animals because I SAY SO

You say you like dog? Here’s a wolf

You like cats? Panther or lion?

You two have to go on ATLEAST one dinner date a week

Also takes you to nice ass places

Kinda shitty table manners but he tries his best for you

Random but I like to think he’s terrified of clowns

So if you are like some sort of jester!Reader/Clown!Reader he would be so conflicted (might write that but idk)

No circus dates

Mimes also freak him out, he thinks they are going against nature and he will scream if one comes near one

Since he tends to work a lot, to make up for it he always makes time for you

Or if his schedule is really packed he will surprise you with your favorite flowers and food/candy on your dresser when you wake up

Honestly even though he seems like someone who would forget your anniversary or your birthday

No. He does not

He goes all out of them, remembers the place, time and date

Seems like a shitty lover, is honestly not and cares about you sm

He just has a hard time expressing it

Since you two are dating you probably hang out with lute a lot (y’all can have Adam I want lute 😩)

You better hope she likes you because she is very judgy of adams girlfriends because she doesn’t want his heart to get broken

But when she sees how happy you make him, and how well you treat and care for him she warms up to you

His phone background is a picture of you

NSFW HEADCANONS: MDNI

Isn’t lying when he says he has a big dick, not THE biggest ever but pretty good

7 1/2 inches, pretty good

Okay, high ass sex drive

Literally constantly in a state of horny, it’s his default setting

Willing to do it anywhere, anytime, everywhere

You hav to physically PRY him off of you sometimes (not in a noncon way ofc)

Can probably go like 2 rounds, sometimes 3 but then starts getting tired

He’s honestly up for anything except for things like scat, piss, Vore, noncon ect-

Is fine with threesomes but prefers doing it with you alone

Up for pegging, you two just have to have a lot of trust in your relationship

Knock him down a few pegs bestie

And put them up his ass

Very clingy after

Aftercare consists of the two of you cuddling and eventually going to sleep

Will leave the cleaning up for later, he just wants to hold you in his arms for now

LOVES phone sex/sexting because of how busy he is

Has a folder full of photos of you (if you send them to him)

Really into Public sex

As said before, ANYWHERE EVERYWHERE

He’s a whore

Has tried to fuck you in a Photo Booth before

Whether you let him or not us your choice

This is all I got I haven’t written him yet I’m so sorry

———————————————————————

Have this chaotic mess. I also have like 23 requests to do, IM WORKING ON THEM I PROMISE, I’ve got a Vox one in my drafts rn I gotta finish. Anyways, happy birthday @chaoticcornchip! :D hope you enjoyed!

[heartfullofleeches]

Sunday Broadcast Crew

A quick run through of the (existing) cast for Sunday Broadcast - a T.V Show in which Sunday (Clown Reader) is the star. Lemme know what y'all think-

Sunday the Clown/Clown Reader - Silly, Kind Hearted Clown. Only wants the best for everyone.

Telly (he/they/it) - Sunday's tag along and (second) best friend. A slightly mischievous television who always comes around when needed. Knows more than he's willing to tell, but as long as Sunday is safe he keeps his big mouth shut.

Gus (he/they) Sir (he/it) - A silly clown and his best friend, an anthropomorphic rabbit with a bad habit and a bad attitude. Sir can often be found chewing gum as smoking is forbidden during show hours. Low-key hates Gus, but is his best friend. Gus is unaware of his bed friends true feelings - loves everyone one and thing, but loves Sunday the most (please keep that a secret)

Melan (she/they) and Holly (she/her) - A sad jester and her best friend, a sweet housewife clown who tries her best to cheer her dear up. Melan is an unlucky girl who has little success with her tricks, often can be found sobbing in her room until Sunday, Holly or her siblings can convince her to come out.

Ventri (They/them) and Tres (they/it) - A playful mime and their.....friend? Pet? Ventri is a mime who doubles as a ventriloquist to some extent. Enjoys making hand puppets of their friends and can never be seen without one. "Speaks" solely through their puppets, their ability to mimic voices is scarily accurate. Tres is a giant wood puppet with a candy dispenser fitted into their stomach/chest. Gives candy to those who deserve it, bites those who don't.

Gus, Melan, and Ventri are all related. Sir, Holly, and Tres are their "imaginary friends" who are only visible to those who believe in them/they trust.

Thirteenth (they/them) and Wishbone (they/them) - An unlucky cat and a fortune rabbit shoved into a miserable companionship. The two cancel each other out in terms of their unnatural luck/unluck leading to them being unable to be apart for long. The two can hardly stand each other, their only common interests being Sunday. Wishbone has a permanent limp in their right leg following an accident they don't like to talk about. Thirteenth had their eye torn out by a broken shard of glass.

Margo Maggie (she/her) - An apple girl sweet as can be. Can easily be found in her garden tending to her crops. Her name is not "Margo Maggie" as much as it is Margo and Maggie as Maggie is her best friend abd biggest helper. Maggie has never been seen by anyone else due to how shy they are. If you happen to find a single tooth in an apple Margo gives you, please return it. It isn't not ripe yet.

Ferret (he/him) - A timid doll boy with an intense jealousy streak. Jealous of his peers for being able to feel and eat, and do everything else a normal human can do. The only reason he can "see" is because his eyes are glass. The empty cavity of his body is filled with fake organs and bones. If he is to ever loose a part of himself.... The best thing to do is hold your breath and hope he mistakes you for a doll like him.

The Handyman (It) - Keeps things in order, tolerates Sunday alone, very handy, likes balls of yarn.

Charlie - Charlotte? Charles? Charlene? Sunday's best and only friend :)

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

I’m curious to know what makes you like Ladrien. What’s the appeal? I have my reasons for why I dislike them, so I’m definitely interested to hear all about the other side.

Absolutely no hate, I’m just super curious

Hi! First of all, thank you for giving me an excuse to babble on about Ladrien 🥰

I just want to preface this by stating that it is my belief that people who don't like Ladrien, are those who don't really understand the ship and/or the beauty to the ship, so it would be my pleasure to talk about why I love them so much:

1. They are the pinnacle of Lovesquare mutual pining

I personally am a mutual pining fiend. If there is mutual pining in a ship, chances are you can find me onboard. Mutual pining is probably my favorite part of a ship timeline, I love the angst, the bitter-sweetness, the confused and pained but still loving interactions, and my friend, Ladrien has all that and a bag of chips.

The thing is, Adrien is in love with Ladybug, Ladybug is in love with Adrien, but there's a certain impossibility to their love. Ladybug doesn't know Adrien well enough to love him, so it would never cross his mind that she would even entertain him as a romantic interest. Adrien has hardly even interacted with Ladybug, so it certainly wouldn't make sense that he would have feelings for her, forget about being in love with her.

What cements these beliefs is the fact that they both know the other in very different circumstances. Chat Noir and Marinette both know that the person they are in love with is not fickle about their feelings and is not shallow about love, they aren't just going to fall in love with some random celebrity. What's even more so is the fact that Ladybug knows that Adrien is in love with someone (circa season 3) and Adrien knows that Ladybug is in love with someone (circa season 2), making it so that they believe that the others' affections are tied elsewhere, seemingly making them unavailable (hence the pining).

I also want to point out that Ladrien is also void of the friendships of Adrinette and Ladynoir, meaning the pining becomes even more powerful as they don't even have access to the comforts of friendship. They are apart in every painful way.

This all creates an environment where every interaction between the two is filled with this yearning tension of wanting to be closer, wanting to move closer, but having to stop themselves because it doesn't make sense, because they fear rejection, because they just can't.

2. They have amazing on-screen chemistry and interactions

If you don't watch any season 2 Ladrien scene with a giant smile on your face, then you are missing out. I chose to mention season 2 in particular, because it's the season with the most Ladrien interaction, but honestly, you can find amazing Ladrien in every season.

The way they both stare at each other in wonder, in the first ever Ladrien interaction might I add, in season one's episode "The Mime", was the perfect way to set the stage for what we were to expect from this ship. They love each other, they are amazed by each other, they make each other dizzy and distracted, it's beautiful and hopeful, and directly contrasts the very difficult interactions that Adrien has in the episode with his father. Whereas Adrien's family is a point of pain for him, Ladybug is the light, the hope for him

Just discussing my two favorite Ladrien scenes, their chemistry and brilliantly portrayed relationship is obvious. Firstly, there is the catch scene in "Gorizilla". I don't think this scene needs explanation, but my goodness it is one I like to talk/think about a lot. The way he portrays implicit trust in Ladybug, the way he fully believes that she will catch him, is just so djaskljdaksljdkals, it's so sweet to watch. But then, she catches him, and even without talking about the trope subversion (though it is important), the way that they stare at each other, how their sole focus is on each other, how the catch was fast and sudden, but then Ladybug slows down to make the descent more comfortable for Adrien, it's all just *chef's kiss*. Adrien is then so enamored and lovestruck, that he forgets where he is, he forgets who he is, and nearly exposes himself by using a term of endearment for his love, which is just the most Ladrien thing ever jdksadjaskld

Finally, I want to talk about my other favorite Ladrien scene, which is the panic attack scene at the end of "Strike Back". Here we see Ladybug coping with the worst betrayal she has ever endured, and at the hands of the person who looks identical to the boy standing in front of here. And with all that uncertainty and mistrust, he stays there, he comforts her, he talks her through her panic, through her next steps. And when he offers her to detransform in his bathroom, with only a door to prevent her reveal, despite being unsure and cautious, she ultimately decides to trust him. She puts her vulnerability into his hands and allows him to see her emotional vulnerability and potentially have access to her physical vulnerability.

(there are more scenes to talk about but for brevity's sake I will stop here)

3. They very obviously love and support each other, despite the circumstances of their relationship

Just drawing back to the episodes that were mentioned in the last point, just from viewing those two scene alone, it is obvious that though they both love each other, she also trusts him and he trusts her.

The truth of the matter is, no side of the lovesquare exists in a vacuum. The sides bleed and meld and create together some amalgamated item that will only feel whole when the full square is revealed. As such, the knowledge and feelings that they have as Adrinette and Ladynoir, are going to have some presence while they are Ladrien.

My point of mentioning this, is that trust and sensitivity for each other is going to be present in their relationship, even if they didn't necessarily reach that development as Ladrien. On paper, Ladrien is a superhero and a model who have only interacted a handful of times. And yet, to both of them, their relationship is so much deeper than that.

They know each other, they're familar with each other, and yet, they're not. Adrien knows how Ladybug will take a joke from Chat Noir, but he doesn't know how she'll take one from Adrien, or why there's a difference. Ladybug knows how Adrien will react to a gift from Marinette, but she doesn't know how he'll take one from Ladybug, nor why there might be a difference. Adrien might know Ladybug's favorite drink order, but he doesn't know her birthday, her parents' name, etc. And Likewise, Ladybug might know Adrien's favorite color, but she doesn't know what he does at night, where the ring on his finger is from.

And yet, despite all of this, despite only being familiar with half a person, they take that half and choose to love them whole-heartedly. They choose to take the information they have and trust that person blindly. Despite, the impossibility of their relationship, they choose to continue to hope.

Because they admire each other, they care for each other, they love each other, and they will do everything in their power to continue to do that. And I think that's beautiful.

There are more reasons, but these are the main three, and I doubt you want to hear me drone on, so hope this sufficed!

Thank you for the ask! <3

[lost-in-fandoms]

Forgive me for being basic( I’m not really sorry though because this is still one of my favourites)

1D song: Little Things/Maxiel

from here! can't blame you it's a wonderful choice!

I'm in love with you and all these little things

"Come back here."

Max rolls his eyes, but he still turns around, walking back towards the bathroom sink, leaning a hip against it. The air is still heavy with steam from their shower, the mirror fogged up, and he wants to go out and get dressed, but he never says no to Daniel. Especially when he's still half naked, only wearing a pair of what Max is pretty sure were originally his boxers, curls heavy with water.

"Don't look at me like that," Daniel scolds him, not a single trace of real reproach in his voice, waving the moisturizer at him. "I am just trying to make sure you don't get up all wrinkly and old like me."

It's Max's turn to scowl, hands wrapping around Daniel's waist to drag him closer.

"Excuse me, I think I am going to grow old anyway," he says, leaning forward to kiss Daniel's cheek, then again the wrinkles by his eyes that don't disappear anymore, not even when he's not smiling. "And wrinkly old men are hot."

Daniel's eyes, which had slipped closed, open again as he huffs out a laugh, his free hand coming up to slap at Max's naked chest.

"Yeah, you'd say that!"

Max only smiles at him, letting him step back just the littlest bit.

"Put that stuff on my face and hurry up," he says, fully expecting the smirk Daniel throws at him, rushing to interrupt him before he can make a joke. "Don't say it."

Daniel mimes closing his mouth with a lock, before finally opening the tub and picking up a small dollop of cream. His fingers are careful on Max's skin, light and soft, tracing patterns that only Daniel can see, and Max lets himself close his eyes, fully relax into hands he fully trusts.

"You are hot, you know that yeah? Very beautiful," he murmurs, feeling Daniel falter for a second.

"I am also not 25 anymore, Maxy."

"Well, I'm not either," Max shoots back, unwilling to let Daniel talk himself down about this. About anything.

"No, you're not."

Daniel's fingers disappear for a moment, but before Max can open his eyes, his hands are back to cup his cheeks, Daniel's lips on his.

Their clammy skin stick together, Max's softer body against Daniel's leaner one. Max's fingers dip just the slightest bit under the band of Daniel's underwear, grazing along his back, before moving around to his hips, wider than they used to be a few years ago.

"Perfect," he says, right against Daniel's lips, before deepening the kiss to stop Daniel from arguing.

If he could, he would steal all of Daniel's insecurities with a kiss, just like he can steal his words, but he will settle for denying them over and over. And it will never be an hardship, to remind him how much he loves everything about him.

[aziraphales-library]

first off TYSM FOR THIS ACC AHH ITS BEEN SO HELPFULL <3

do you know any fics with touch-starved Crowley struggling to get used to the amount of affection Aziraphale shows him?

anyways love you all byee

We have a #touch starved tag that you will want to check out! Here are more fics to add to the collection...

Demons need hugs too by apeiiron (NR)

The thought of losing Aziraphale, his one constant, his one love, his everything, is too much to bear. Crowley wants to hold him more than anything, but he's too intimidated by the what-ifs to try. Aziraphale did it for him.

My Dear and Only Love by Sarah_hadeschild (G)

“I like your hands,” he said, plainly. Aziraphale huffed out a laugh. “Do you?” “‘Always have.” Aziraphale regarded him for a moment as recognition dawned on him. The things was, Crowley loved to grandstand. He loved to act braver than he was— more callous. That way, when things went awry, he had no one to blame for it but himself. Aziraphale knew this. And because of it, he knew that if he didn’t look out for Crowley’s heart, then no one would. AKA Thanks to a well-timed Valentine's gift, a touch-starved Crowley is about to get everything he desires. Well, almost everything.

Charred Feathers by KannaOphelia (T)

The wings burst through, a flurry of feathers and ripping fabric. “Damn. Thought they’d be enough room. That was a Tom Ford under-vest, would have cost me eighty quid if I’d actually bought it.” “Of course you stole it, you vile fiend,” Aziraphale said automatically, staring at Crowley’s well-groomed wings. They were black, and tidy, but it wasn’t a pure, midnight black. More a very dark, almost shabby grey, for all their beautiful condition. He was beginning to have a horrible suspicion about those wings. He reached out, and very gently brushed his fingertips through one, not letting any healing power through yet. “Made it. Y’know.” Crowley mimed snapping his fingers. “You’re wearing knock-off flannels?” Aziraphale demanded, tone high with outrage. He let his other hand come to the other wing, stepping closer, as Crowley snorted with laughter. Aziraphale had been right. Crowley’s feathers were smooth and perfect and undamaged, and at the same time, they were charred black by fire.

The Touch of Your Hand by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

After a moment of casual contact in Rome, Crowley realizes that he’s touch-starved. He dreams about holding Aziraphale’s hand or—even better—hugging him. But Aziraphale is an angel, and Crowley is a demon. And demons don’t deserve hand holding or hugs…do they?

Velocity by dragon_with_a_teacup (T)

Aziraphale can sense Affection whenever that emotion is near. Yet he has never looked for it within himself whenever Crowley is near. It should be impossible, an angel feeling such things for a demon; why, then, would it have occurred to him to look? Why would he have thought to analyze his bond with Crowley—a bond forged throughout the centuries through a convenient work arrangement—for anything beyond mere camaraderie? Yet now, his favorite angelic ability turns inward for the first time, and at last, he sees: He’s been such a fool.

An Exercise In Trust by organizechaos (T)

It’s been eleven years since Armageddon and Heaven and Hell have been conspiring to restart it. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley moved in together, got married, and are overall really happy. When their former bosses finally confront them — attacking with an object that will take centuries worth of memories from the ineffable pair — something goes a little wrong in the process… Crowley takes the full hit. (Basically, it’s just about +37,000 words worth of Crowley being a confused mess at why Aziraphale’s finally reciprocating his love)

- Mod D

[notinmyvocab]

Neighborhood Watch 2

Larissa Weems plays a little game with her neighbor, and actions speak louder than words.

warnings: smut, gay, unedited, Larissa WeemsxOFC

Larissa’s breathing grew heavy, her arousal making her center slick. She could only imagine the sounds the neighbor was making but oh how exquisite they sounded in her head.

It wasn’t enough. She needed to hear the moans. She needed to know what the woman sounded like.

Larissa got up from her chair and walked over to the window. She knocked at it, knowing full well that the neighbor couldn’t hear her but could at least see the movement. Sure enough, she watched the woman stand up.

Feeling brave and perhaps feeling a little bit drunk and a little bit lonely, Larissa made a “come hither” gesture, both as an invitation, and as a promise of what was to come.

But she wasn’t going to get what she wanted so easily. The neighbor shook her head with a mischievous grin and returned to the chair. She sat there, eyebrows raised in an expectant look.

Sensing what was being asked of her, Larissa took a step back to sit down as well. She paused, however, and tapped the glass again. She breathed onto the window and wrote out a question mark before pointing at the neighbor. Though the gestures were cryptic, the meaning was clear.

The neighbor disappeared momentarily and came back with an iPad. She messed around with the screen for a second and when she turned it around, Larissa read the answer to her question.

Heather.

Larissa imagined the enticing smell of the plant: floral yet musky. She wondered if the neighbor was the same as her namesake: lovely but wild. Satisfied with knowing the seductress’s name, Larissa sat back down.

Heather raised one hand, and then the other as if she were a mime trapped in a box. Larissa tilted her head to the side, confused, until Heather pointed to Larissa and Larissa understood. Her heart pounded in sudden anticipation. She had never done anything like this before. Could she really put her trust in a total stranger? More than that, a stranger she wouldn’t be able to completely avoid because she lived right across the street?

Heather brought a hand back to her breast, fingertips ghosting her skin. Larissa mimicked her, imagining that it wasn’t her hand but Heather’s. The material of her bra jolted her out of the fantasy, and Larissa was quick to remove it. Was Heather giggling? She hoped so. Though it wasn’t as sexy, Larissa wanted to make Heather laugh. She wanted to make her smile.

Bare chested, Larissa brought a hand to her nipple and tweaked it. She gasped. God, how long had it been since she last touched herself in such a way?

Pleased, Heather continued to play with her breast, squeezing and pinching and letting her head fall to the side with a sleepy grin on her face. Larissa imagined how wet Heather was. God, she was probably soaking. Larissa licked her lips, desperately wanting a taste.

Forcing her eyes opened, Larissa continued to watch as Heather let her hand trail down from her chest to her stomach and then between her thighs. Her hand rested there, not doing anything. Larissa did the same, her hips bucking of their own accord. “Fuck,” she hissed. How was Heather able to tease herself like this with such restraint?

Heather smirked; cocky bitch. Unable to help it, Larissa stuck out her tongue in a childish gesture. Heather did laugh, and that made Larissa grin. Fuck, Heather looked pretty when she laughed.

Then, Heather stood and slipped off her panties. Larissa’s mouth went dry, and instead of mimicking she just watched as Heather sat back down and spread her legs. Her slit was glistening and Larissa yearned for a taste; yearned to just drag her tongue along the wetness and suckle Heather’s clit until she was screaming with pleasure and overstimulation.

Larissa continued to just watch as Heather dragged her fingers along her slit, teasing herself. Finally getting a hold of herself, Larissa mirrored Heather. Fuck she was so wet. How could Heather stand it?

Finally, finally, Heather slipped two fingers inside of herself and Larissa did the same. God it felt heavenly. It felt even better when Larissa closed her eyes and imagined it was Heather pumping in and out of her. And if she imagined hard enough, she could swear she felt Heather’s tongue lapping at her clit.

The gasps that escaped her lips were unholy, and how grateful she was to be a sinner.

She dragged her fingers in and out at an agonizing pace, staring at her mirror image through her eyelashes. Larissa was desperate to throw her head back in pleasure but she didn’t dare look away from Heather.

She imagined Heather whispering in her ear, telling her naughty things. She imagined praising the young woman, murmuring “good girl” in her ear. Larissa wanted more than this; she wanted to feel Heather squirming underneath her. She wanted to be the reason Heather was coming undone.

And she supposed that indirectly she was. But it wasn’t enough. She craved more.

Her wetness was unbearable. Her hips bucked and her legs twitched. God she was so close but the edge felt so faraway. Larissa imagined Heather mewling in a beautiful high-pitched voice, begging to cum just as Larissa desperately wanted to do.

Just as she thought she was about to lose her mind, Larissa watched Heather come undone. Her face screwed up in pleasure as her hand moved at an almost inhuman pace. Taking this as permission, Larissa allowed herself to let go.

She tensed, feeling her walls clamp around her fingers as she held her palm against her clit, hips bucking. Her mind went blank as pleasure overtook her.

“Heather,” she gasped, imagining it was the neighbor’s hand that brought her to the edge. “Fuck!” Larissa’s body curled as her orgasm made her limbs tingle. It wasn’t the most powerful orgasm she ever had but fuck it felt so good.

Larissa rode out her orgasm, gradually slowing the pace of her thrusting fingers until finally she came to a stop and drew them out of herself. She raised her fingers up, looking at them glisten in the dim light of the living room. Unable to help herself, Larissa slid her fingers into her mouth, tasting herself. God she was exquisite. Would Heather think the same? Would Heather taste the same?

Coming out of her reverie, Larissa looked across the street.

There was no one in the window. The chair was empty; Heather was gone.

Larissa’s heart sank slowly. She knew she hadn’t imagined Heather, but she almost wished she did. It would hurt less if Heather had only been in her mind than opening her eyes and finding herself alone.

Stupid woman.

Slowly, Larissa stood up from her chair and made her way into her bedroom wear she took her favorite cream colored silk robe and slipped it on. Just as she tied it around her waist, there was a knock at her door.

Though she was in no mood to see anyone, Larissa knew she couldn’t just ignore whoever was at the door without good reason and at the moment, she couldn’t think of an excuse fast enough.

So, Larissa went to the front door and opened it.

Before her stood a stranger who had now become familiar.

“Heather?”

The neighbor grinned. “Hi.”

-----------------

@barbarasstar @lilfartbox1 @rileythornhill @eveymay @opheliauniverse @autumnxl @cissyenthusiast010155 @readingtheentrails @yourlocaldisneyvillain @gwennn-muste @milfsloverblog

I know not all of you actually asked to be tagged, but I did tag people who asked for a part two or expressed a want for more. Here you go!

[synergysilhouette]

An alternate take on "Wish" (2023)

I was hoping I wouldn't have to make something like this. I've already done remakes for movies I liked, and I wasn't expecting to make one on this so soon. I heard a lot of discourse about this movie, as well as a lot of praise, and sadly, the negative feelings for the movie are what I aligned with more. It felt like it was rushed and missing important pieces--weird for a movie that's an hour and a half--as well as unrealized concepts altogether.

Human Star--We all know what I'm talking about. At one point, Star was supposed to be a human who romanced Asha, but this was never realized. Some people surmise it's because Star was confirmed to have (at one stage) been modeled after Asha's grandfather Sabino, who would've been dead. However, in my version, Star is Asha's love interest, sans-Sabino inspiration. He (or whatever pronouns you'd like to use, since Star is nonbinary) would've appeared as a Star at first, helping Asha before taking the form of an ethereal young man after hanging out with Safi, Gabo, and Dario. His fashion would be standout from the get-go, very ethereal and vibrant like a walking ball of light--or a peacock, if you will. In contrast to the yellow aesthetic in the concept art, I'd like a rainbow look or a silver and blue appearance, bringing to mind "Colors of the Wind" and "The Soreceror's Apprentice." He wouldn't speak, instead miming and using sign language to communicate, forming close bonds not only with Asha, but Bazeema and Dario. He's funny and silly, but knows when to be serious and empathetic, like a slightly more serious and wiser version of Sisu. When Magnifico sucks the magic out of him, he falls and starts to flicker, similar to Tinker Bell when losing her magic. This is when the reprise of "This Wish" begins.

2. Asha's personality--You know, she wasn't as cringey as I was expecting since she was supposed to be adorakale, but I do prefer her being a bit more mature. I'd make her in her early 20s and give her a personality similar to Mulan and Pocahontas--athletic, determined, and heartfelt, while still being vulnerable without feeling like she tries too hard to be relateable (I swear, the scene with her grandfather and mother reminded me of Mulan being told to learn her place). I'd also give her (and Magnifico) a different design, but I've already made two posts about that. And I'd make her a bit less perfect with her ideals; she cares about others, but she's somewhat of a social climber, wanting to be Magnifico's apprentice specifically so he can grant her and her family's wishes. Magnifico appreciates her for her moment of cynicism, stating how Rosas has only grown in size because people want to use Magnifico's powers and leave.

3. Asha gets the job--Asha gets recommended by Simon to be Magnifico's apprentice, as he's a knight for the king and he trusts his imput. Impressed by how (unintentionally) translucent Asha is, Magnifico decides to make her his apprentice, giving her the power to use magic like he can. As such, she's his apprentice for a bit before running away.

4. Sakina's wish--Since Asha is over the age of 18, she has already given her wish to Magnifico. She's fine with not achieving her wish, but finds out that her mother wished that her father were alive, as she desperately misses him (it's been about a decade by now). Magnifico becomes something like father figure to Asha, but when she realizes he destroyed Sakina's wish in order to give her magic, she's horrified (she actually finds this out by accident, having overheard Amaya and Magnifico) at his disregard for others' dreams and runs away from Rosas. Magnifico sends people to find her and return her, unharmed, but her magic and her pain summons down Star to help her. Magnifico reveals that bringing Asha's father back from the dead is something he can do--but shouldn't, as it would create unforeseeable harm.

5. Magnifico and Amaya's Past--It's weird how a film's villain gets such a short and not-so-sweet backstory despite this fueling their whole ideology, huh? Deciding to pay homage to Disney, I decided to change his backstory, making it so that he is a genie--or, he was. He spent centuries being used and abused by mortals who wanted his wish-granting power, until Amaya found him and they fell in love. She wished him free, but only with the condition that he stay by her side forever, for while Amaya loved him, she loved power as well. It's revealed that she's a sorceress, but her power is much more limited than Magnifico's (see 1992's "Aladdin" for the power dynamic between sorcerers and genies). Similar to the Evil Queen, Amaya keeps a magic mirror that allows her to see anywhere in the realm she desires, as well as transferring her image to any location, and she is able to shapeshift. She is shocked when she discovers that Magnifico can gift others powers on his level, but that he never offered it to her.

6. "At All Costs" and "I'm a Star" are changed for different situations--It's revealed that Amaya is also a villain, and while she loves Magnifico, she has difficulty expressing it, as she frequently emotionally manipulates him in order to control him, as he's never learned the limits of his powers, and believes in maintaining the wishes of Rosas in order to maintain balance and keep bad wishes from being fufilled, which suits his wife just fine, since it makes her subjects more compliant. As a result, "At All Costs" is sung between the two in a powerful, rumbling, vibrant number that shows their twisted love for each other and their subjects. "I'm a Star," on the other hand, is a power ballad Star uses for Asha and the Teens to gain confidence in themselves, using the animals (and having Asha sing) in order to convey the message to her.

7. The Teens are more present and have lives--Simon is already a knight for Magnifico, Dahlia being a cook for Magnifico is more promiment, Safi comes from an affluent family, Hal and Bazeema are dating (just got the vibe; I'm not saying anything is canon), Dario is a farmer's boy with dreams of being a performer, and Gabo is still figuring himself out, fueling his bitterness in the group since everyone else has stuff going on in their personal or professional lives. As such, no one bretrays or turns their back on Asha--at least, not deliberately; Safi and Bazeema are quick to submit when their families are threatened, while Simon is manipulated into thinking that getting Asha back is solely for altruistic reasons.

8. Amaya's deceit--Intending to get Asha back when she realizes she's summoned Star, Amaya shapeshifts into her father (who we'll call Ignacio for now) and says that Magnifico brought him back in order to have her return. Star attempts to alert her of the ruse, but they have a falling out over it, and Asha and "Ignacio" sing a reprise of "At All Costs." However, once they return to Rosas, Amaya reveals her deceit, torturing Asha with depictions of a violently bruised and battered Ignacio before stripping her of her powers and throwing her, Dahlia, Safi, and Bazeema in the dungeons. As such, Star must rally Gabo, Dario, and Hal to help them escape. During this time, "Knowing What I Know Now" starts off on a sad note, as Asha reflects on the complexity of wishes and how Magnifico was somewhat right.

9. Magnifico's Carnage--I want Notre Dame-levels of mass hysteria and destruction; houses are being raided, people are being injured (maybe even killed? Too much?), all because Magnifico is unraveling; after being abused for so long and even learning that his own wife has been secretly using some of his captive wishes and using it to increase her own power, he goes on a rampage, showing the kingdom how selfish they are, and how despite his best efforts to please them, they always wanted more. As such, the kingdom is left in ruins, and Amaya battles him, enraged that she has no one to rule over. Magnifico, not holding back any longer, takes away her own natural powers, leaving her a helpless queen, and during a battle in the throne room, Asha and the gang uses the magic mirror to repel Magnifico's attacks until one of them hits him and Amaya, turning them into a statue of silver and gold.

10. Lessons learned--While Star doesn't come back (kinda want a "If I Never Knew You" song for this generation), his magic is infused into Asha due to his love for her, allowing her to regain her powers and become a fairy godmother. Asha takes this seriously, seeing how her last experiences with wishes taught her so much and cost so many lives. The people of Rosas are humbled by the experience, and the citizens leave the land as night falls, a shooting star pointing to a distant land for them to inhabit. In the end, everyone wonders what future awaits them, and Asha vows to use her magic to help make it a home--though she asks them to be patient with her, since "even miracles take a little time."

11. We get more vibrant colors! SO much looks like they've been watered down instead of colorful and vibrant like "Sleeping Beauty" (the visual inspiration for the film) was.

Lemme know what you think! Keep in mind, I only recently saw this film, so as time passes, I may edit this--or delete this and make a brand new remake post altogether.

[toxinellebug]

Shadybug/ClawNoir supporting character Headcanons

Jagged Stone? More like Jared Smith. He wanted to be a rockin musician, but his type of music is banned by the Supreme so his career never took off. Instead, he ended up marrying his girlfriend, Nannette Couffaine, after accidentally knocking her up with twins, released his pet crocodile into the Seine, got an apartment, and works a regular job that he HATES. But, he secretly still tries to record music and sells it on the black market where it has become somewhat popular in the indie underground, but if he were caught he would go to prison for sure. It’s not a happy marriage but he does what he has to. His kids last names are hyphenated Couffaine-Smith.

No houseboat, and without Royalties from music labels, neither Juleka or Luka could afford to go to Francois Dupont

Penny works as an assistant for Bob Roth and HATES IT. The man is a sexist slave driver, but this business is brutal.

Nadja Chamack is not a news anchor. You can’t be a single mother AND have a career that takes up so much of your time. As a result, Marinette has never had to babysit Manon.

Lila wants to challenge Chloe’s position as queen of the school, but there are no lies about charity work, only lies of what powerful and famous connections she has.

Adrien is not interested in being friendly with Lila, and definitely not going to help her with schoolwork. But he is still the ultimate trophy and key to winning popularity in Lila’s eyes, so she is determined to “win him over”, even though he finds her almost as annoying as Chloe, but Chloe he is stuck with due to her mom’s working relationship with his dad.

Gabriel doesn’t trust Lila one bit.

The sad and negative emotions he is forced to sense due to the power of the Butterfly brooch cause him distress, and he often has to excuse himself due to “headaches” from overworking, as a creative’s work is never done… But he is always listening for the emotions of people crying out for justice, for help, for people who wish they had the power to help.

Andre Glacier is still the Sweetheart’s ice-cream maker, but Sweetheart’s ice-cream is just a special menu item that you can request. Otherwise he has a scheduled route and serves the ice-cream that customers ask for.

Alya’s dad wishes the zoo could focus more on animal enrichment and larger enclosures but they don’t have the budget for such “unnecessary extravagences”.

Mr. Haprel hopes to make it as a famous Mime one day so he can be rich enough to afford to send his daughter, Mylene, to the school he works at as a janitor.

Everyone avoids Ivan.

Thomas Astruc never made it as a famous director, rather, the Supreme favored his University Rival, Andre Bourgeois, who also owns the Le Grande Paris Hotel.

Gina and Roland Dupain are not divorced/separated per say… Gina was sent to prison for civil disobedience. That’s why Tom is a doormat and just goes along with whatever discipline Sabine decides on because he doesn’t want his precious little girl to end up a criminal like her grandmother.

Sabine does not teach an inkpainting class on the weekend or practice tai chi or feng shui.

The walls of Marinette’s home are not pink, they are a boring beige that she hates.

The Agreste Manor is not a sterile, black and white modern decor dungeon. It is a prism of color, function, form, beauty and nature with nods to antiquity and the whimsical. Adrien HATES it. All color and light left this world when his mother died. The art in his house mocks his pain.

There is no school blog for Nathaniel to post his art on… But Marc ended up in that class instead of Marinette. (So did Mireille) He’s still too shy to admit he’s a writer. And even more shy to admit he has a crush on Nathaniel, so all he can do is watch the boy quietly. Rose thinks it’s a romantic tragedy and wants to play matchmaker. Alex thinks it’d be a disaster waiting to happen.

There is no Prince Ali who gives toys to sick kids in hospitals.

There is nothing as frivolous as videogame tournaments, so Max devotes all his spare time to his hobby of robotics and developing an AI… but developing an artificial intelligence is frowned upon. Luckily, Alya can keep a secret… that is, if Max is willing to spare some of his time to helping her havkninto the dark web to research conspiracy theories.

Wayhem is obseesed with Adrien, who can’t stand crazy fanatics and won’t lose any sleep if the Gorilla tackles the scrawny boy to the ground.

After much convincing, bullsh**ing, and bribes, Gabriel is able to host his derby hat design competition at Francois Dupont, (and hopefully, modelling his classmate’s creations will be a bonding point for Adrien to make a new friend) Rose sees it as an opportunity to tries to get Marc and Nathaniel to work with her to create a hat, hoping sparks will fly between them.

Even if Marinette WANTED to enter a stupid contest involving that spoiled, stuck-up Agreste boy, which she DOESN’T, her mother won’t allow it because sewing and doodling outfits is a distraction from her schoolwork.

Chloe still cheats.

But Shadybug discreetly sabotages the fashion show the winning hat is supposed to feature in.

Nathalie never became Gabriel’s assistant or even acquaintance. Instead, she is in charge of the department of the Louvre that archives and locks away all “banned” art and artifacts (aka anything related to Miraculous holders)

Alex thinks she’s creepy and hates how she coldly bosses around her dad.

Audrey is the same as ever, with the exception that she recognizes that her younger daughter Zoe has some talent, and wants Andre to find a movie part for her to play, and ignores Chloe’s bitter jealousy which causes her to lash out at others even nastier than in Ladybug and Cat Noir’s universe.

Nino is treated rudely and ignored by Adrien. Adrien would never agree to play a role in Nino’s movie and even accuses Nino of trying to use Adrien’s celebrity status to give himself an unfair advantage in the student movie competition.

Adrien doesn’t have time for stupid group projects or after school activities. But not because he has a full schedule since this Universe’s Gabriel is a decent father who does not demand perfection and give a 14 year old a burdensome schedule… It’s because outside of fencing and modeling, Adrien plans to spend his time planning out which sections of the city he’s going to take his anger out on that night.

Gabriel never forgot his roots as the son of a fry-cook, and occasionally tries to cook comfort food (NOT PANCAKES) for Adrien, who insists he’s not hungry or that junk is bad for his skin/weight, which has Gavriel worried about Adrien developing body dysphoria and eating disorders… These worries are put to rest when he finds out Adrien has suddenly developed a sweet tooth for baked goods. Therefore he has no qualms about his son frequenting the local bakery so often because a growing boy needs to eat and a treat is good for the spirit.

He wishes he could be more honest with Adrien, but he knows that it would destroy his son if he ever found out that the sickness that took his mother’s life was caused by his creation… He’s also not sure what kind of trauma Adrien would have to the fact he’s not human.

Gabriel also doesn’t want Adrien in danger. Gabriel wants to create a better world for his son to live in, a world where he and everyone else can be free! Where people can throve without stepping over others, and the poor don’t have to suffer. Where people have rights to love freely and express opinions without fear. A world where people help one another.

Gabriel would never use the rings to control Adrien, instead, he keeps them locked away in a safe, and plans to give them to Adrien someday when he is an adult and less likrly to misplace them because if they were to fall into the wrong hands, Gabriel shudders to think of what would become of Adrien.

Audrey still has a low key crush on Gabriel which makes him cringe but he still acts polite to keep up working relations, and he also pities his friend Andre, trapped in a one-sided marriage and bullied by his daughter and his wife.

[assortedvillainvault]

Malefecent had fallen to Dr.facilier charming nature.He also finds Malefecent Attractive and suggests they go on a date to know each other little better.

Oooh this one took a bit of thinking! I don't think they'd become a full on pair, but a little fling wouldn't hurt...

Maleficent x Dr. Facilier: A Risky Venture

- It wasn't unusual for new villains to get a crush on Maleficent. Like – yes hello, water is wet, the Mouse won’t shut up, and the Mistress Of All Evil is the most attractive thing on legs, what else is new?

- It was, however, MUCH rarer for a newcomer to actually approach the elder villainess and make a move.

- To date only ten of the 127 Disney villains had ever tried, to varying degrees of success.

- Dr Facilier wasn’t one to simply sidle up and try his luck. At least not without a game plan and some research.

- Simply asking around got him some sly smirks, a huffy eye roll from Hades and the sort of glazed-over look from Jafar that spoke of things he’d really rather not hear about. Ursula cackled enough through her drink that he put her in the same ‘don’t ask’ camp as Jafar. Queen Grimhilde didn’t even deign to respond, and the Horned King simply glared and mimed breaking his neck for asking.

- The other five that had ever tried were apparently smote into craters for the audacity. He cast a look over the singed walls and decided to let those lie.

- He slid into a seat at an empty table, feeling Shadow pool around his feet under the long cloth. Idly, he let his cards flick and tumble through his fingers, deftly shuffling and reshuffling.

- The Loa were off the table. A. Because a date definitely counted as ‘something for himself’. B. Because he could hardly trust them when dealing with something so open ended as a crush. And c. Because he knew she would perceive him as lesser for depending on their help.

- He’d always had good eyes. Able to see what most others couldn’t. And while he would never claim to see through every disguise...from day one he’d been able to see the way fire and scales stretched and twisted under her skin – the way the lights in the room dimmed and flickered under her smile, how her cloak was full of raven feathers and vicious thorns. He could see the way her presence lanced through a crowd like a silent lightning strike – all ozone and anticipation under the thin blanket of night.

- When Hades had leaned over and clicked his jaw shut with a smirk, slyly asking “First time?” it’d taken all he had not to slip into the shadows – donning his signature charm like a shield.

- He blinked down at his hands, frowning at the faces of cards he’d laid down by habit. The devil, the seven of swords, the tower…

- A perfect talon clicks onto the tower. His heart thuds into his mouth as he looks up (and up and UP, hell she’s tall-) at the amused, elegant smile of one Mistress of All Evil.

- Hahaha shit.

- At a loss, he flings himself into his tried and tested talent: talking.

- “Evening, ma’am.” He tips his hat and tried desperately not to overthink the amused upturn of her lips, finding it to be much the same expression as a cat playing with mice. “To what do I owe the pleasure, stopping by little ol’ me?” Should he try and kiss her hand?? It was right there, he should probably look into how to regrow fingers just in case- “Is there...” he swallows. “Anything I can, help you with?”

- She chuckles, and he feels it run though his bones as if he were stood right next to a brass band’s drummers. Shadow has a vice grip on his ankles under the table and he tries so hard not to remember being dragged to his grave, tries not to kick his one remaining friend as Maleficent’s yellow eyes bore into his violet ones and he swears he might know how Hook feels – sized up by a reptile willing and eager to swallow him whole-

- “Plenty, little doctor.” She smiles, slow and sharp. He swallows thickly, fighting not to grin. “if you feel...up to the challenge?”

- He feels his lips drag up into an ill advised grin. “Yes ma’am~”

[pkmnresearcherobake]

would you mind giving some headcanons about gengar as an autism helping pokemon? :))

Certainly! Gengar is actually an awesome Autism Support Pokémon, and here are a few ways that one can help in everyday life!

Gengar can lower the temperature of a room it's in by up to ten degrees! A common issue among autistic people is having trouble with regulating their body temperature, so Gengar is able to help by keeping you cool all day long!

Gengar is not a forgetful Pokémon, much like an autistic trainer. I've conducted my own research on this matter, actually! We all know that Gengar is a somewhat vengeful Pokémon, especially out in the wild, and that it will never forget the face of someone who had wronged it or someone it cares about. When put to the test in different scenarios, evidence shows that Gengar is able to remember important details such as appointments and events, and is able to, with varying degrees of success leaning towards "mostly accurate," remind its trainer of what it had been told. Take that with a grain of salt, though, as Gengar can be wrong or late sometimes, and set a reminder on your phone anyway. Just in case.

One reason that so many Pokédex entries theorize Gengar to be the reanimated souls of humans is their intelligence. Gengar is an extremely smart Pokémon, which allows for easy training to do basic, repetitive tasks in place of its trainer, such as watering plants, making short grocery trips, or checking mail, allowing its trainer to dedicate their energy to more pressing matters.

Because of its nature as a prankster, Gengar is also quite attentive to the emotions and reactions of the humans around them. Not as receptive as any Psychic-type, of course, but enough for it to notice if something is amiss, which lets it react and respond when its trainer is having, or is close to having, a meltdown. It's up to Gengar to retrieve a trusted friend or professional to assist in redirecting its trainer or, if no-one is around, to do its best at redirecting or grounding techniques by itself. This most commonly ends with Gengar removing its trainer from the environment or whatever else may be stressing them out.

On top of all of that, Gengar is a professional when it comes to eating and relaxing. If its trainer is burning themselves out on school or work, Gengar is not shy at all about dragging its trainer away from their task in order to eat, shower, and take a load off, and will not take no for an answer. It will eventually allow its trainer to return to their tasks, but it won't relent until its trainer is well-fed and well-rested before continuing.

It's important to remember that a lot of Pokémon are super smart! Many people don't give them credit where credit is due, and tend to underestimate their intellectual capabilities and their abilities to perform cognitive tasks. Not all Pokémon are quite so intelligent, though, so it's important to use one's best discretion to judge if a Pokémon is capable of performing complex tasks such as these.

Alongside Gengar, here are some other honorable mentions when looking for an Autism Support Pokémon:

- Stoutland

- Mr. Mime

- Persian

- Espeon

- Abra/Kadabra/Alakazam, any of them are fantastic for the job!

- Chansey/Blissey

- Audino

- Lucario

[modern-day-bard]

Other Duties As Assigned: A Joel Miller AU Fanfiction

Content Warning: 18+ Minors, do not interact. This story includes mature themes such as drinking, stalking, violence, and explicit smut.

a/n: Hello! Thank you to anyone who has made it this far 💖 I had planned to upload two chapters each time I update the story, but life is getting away from me currently, and I want to make sure I spend enough time editing each chapter before it's posted. Depending on how crazy things get, I might have to start uploading them on separate days. The chapters are always uploaded on ao3 first (it takes less time), and I will get them over here as soon as possible. Thank you again for reading!

Chapter 9: Dodge

Word count: 2.5k

Gwen

I glance at the door to the studio for the third time in under a minute. What possessed me to agree to combat training? Self-defense, Joel had called it. But honestly, unless I’m plucked out of New York and placed on a battlefield, I’m struggling to see when I would need to use the steps Joel is walking me through right now.

“When I said we could do this in the morning, I didn’t think I’d be watching you attack fake opponents at eight a.m.”

Joel stops mid-slowmo punch. “I let you sleep in.”

“Oh, you let me? Thanks, gracious drill sergeant.”

For a moment, I think he smirks, but it vanishes as quickly as it arrived. Dystopian Warzone Training is far too important to waste time on humor.

“Did you absorb everything I just said?”

“Sure.” I don’t even try to make it sound convincing.

I wasn’t lying about what I said last night. The last time I did anything remotely similar to self-defense, I cried until I became such a disturbance to the other students that my mom carried me out. I’m not sure how much of your personality is fully formed at seven-years-old, but this part certainly stuck. Something about the fighting, even if it was rehearsed, really stresses me out. And the majority of what Joel has done so far is just talk while miming a few moves. Talking about what to do if someone approaches me from behind just makes me want to bolt. My mom and I got ice cream when we left, and I keep wanting to leave and do the same thing now, twenty years later. Or maybe I’d start with a croissant instead.

“Miss Russell?” Joel lifts a brow, and I realize that I was off in dream-land.

“What?”

“I was asking what’s one thing you remember from what I’ve told you?”

“Um…trust your instincts…element of surprise…and remember to SING.”

Joel’s brow furrows together. “I never said anything about singing.”

“No, the acronym. Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin.” I put my hands on my hips, hoping he’ll move on.

“You got that from a movie.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. It’s a good movie, but I didn’t say it.”

“Ah, he watches movies. Romcoms, even. Maybe you’re more human than I thought.”

“How am I not—you know what, no. Miss Russell, let’s run through the basics again, okay?”

I give him a non-committal nod. “Fine.”

“Trusting your instincts and using the element of surprise are correct. Just keep in mind your attacker might use those two things on you as well. Someone of your status is likely to be surprised because whoever would be near you would most likely be in an area that you already deem to be safe.”

Geez. Thanks, Joel. Now my palms are sweaty.

“I can teach you how to punch, as I demonstrated before, but maybe we should start with something else. There are maneuvers that catch people a little more off-guard. A punch is effective when administered correctly, but it’s easy to see coming. Plus, someone of your stature–”

“My stature?”

Joel holds up his palms like a white flag. “What I mean is, imagine the person approaching you is my size. It’s a lot for you to defend against. Simply using brute force to take me down won’t be possible. You’ll need to be quick and effective in your attacks.”

Unfortunately, he’s right. I’ve been trying not to look at Joel because I can’t do so without thinking of my friends’ stupid reactions to him the other night. It’s these gym clothes of his. They’re made to mold to men in a way that makes them irritatingly attractive. It’s not the fact that it’s Joel, it can’t be. It’s just a good looking guy being knowledgeable while wearing another dark compression top. It looks…slutty on him. I never understood when people got crushes on their professors, but if they were teaching me something physical…well, anyway, now I get it. Regardless, he’s almost a foot taller than me, and true to bodyguard form, he is built like a method of protection. Sculpted to shield.

Distractingly attractive, and with the combination of how legitimately nervous I am thinking of potential attackers…my system can’t seem to figure out if I’m supposed to be scared or turned on. The thought of that alone sends a pulse of panic down my arms. This man is a nuisance, regardless of how enticing the packaging might be.

“Hitting with an open hand,” Joel flexes his palm, “Reduces the risk of injury. And you can easily attack from a non-confrontational stance, like the one I have now.”

I look at the beast across from me, standing wide-legged, palms up in front of him. “You don’t look non-confrontational.”

“Well, that’s because I’m with you.”

I huff out one, short laugh. “Was that a joke?”

“No,” His tone betrays him. It was totally an attempt at a joke. “Palms up.”

I roll my eyes, mirroring his stance.

“Excellent. From here you can do a heel-palm strike,” Joel slowly brings his hand toward my nose, and I resist pulling away, “An eye strike,” he brings his other hand toward me with his fingers outstretched, “Or a knee strike.” He places his hands on my shoulders, and I jump.

“I’m sorry.” He pulls back immediately.

“It’s fine. I was just expecting your knee. That’s all.”

“I should have warned you that it’s common to use your opponent as leverage to make a strike like that. Why don’t you try those three on me?”

He stands perfectly still.

I toss my braid behind my back, squaring my shoulders, feeling like an idiot. But to give him credit, Joel’s expression is earnest and patient. I feel mean, bringing my heel up to his nose, but I do it anyway.

“Good,” he says, moving out of the way to avoid my mediocre attack. “Now, eye strike.”

I move a little faster this time, and again he moves out of the way, nodding.

Finally, I bring my hands up his shoulders, embarrassed that I have to go on my tippy toes to reach them.

“So, that might not help you with your leverage,” Joel grabs my hands, startling me just a little. He slows his movements, noticing my surprise. “Try putting them here instead,” He places my palms on his chest, and I can feel his steady heart underneath the wall of muscle. “It’s okay to push back a little while you bring your knee up, just keep the majority of the weight on your back leg so you don’t lose your balance.”

He gives me an encouraging nod, and I bring my knee up sharply.

“Hey,” He pulls back, “Close one.” I swear there is a hint of a proud smile on his face now, but it could be from embarrassment. He moves on quickly. “If you’re able, you can also use my arms as leverage,” He moves my hands, much slower this time, to wrap around his forearms. I shift my weight again, trying to ignore how his arms feel against my hands, how strong…

I hike my knee up as fast as I can.

Joel barely gets out of the way in time.

“I’m going to chock that up to you practicing the element of surprise, instead of a very literal attempt to hurt me. Well done.”

“Sorry,” I shake my head, stepping back.

“Let’s move on,” he says, rubbing one set of knuckles with the other hand. “Those are effective if your attacker is coming at you from the front. If they’re trying to surprise you, they may come at you from behind.”

Suddenly I’m thinking of my bed. If I’m facing the windows, my back is toward the door. Some masked figure could creep in at night, and attack before I would even see them. Or if I’m at dinner, and suddenly there’s something threatening pressed against my back, telling me to get up and walk out with them.

A small part of me remembers this from childhood. Some vague memory about the discussion of fighting, or attacking, or opponents, and it makes my heart rate quicken just as it did back then. At least at the time it was acceptable to just sit down on the mat and cry. I can’t remember the last time I cried in front of anyone. And I could never cry in front of Miller. Especially now that I’m irritated with him for…for…I don’t know.

“I’m going to demonstrate coming up behind you, and I’ll show you how to escape. Okay?”

“Okay,” My voice sounds clipped and hollow.

Joel moves to stand behind me and I feel all the muscles in my back tense up. I take a deep breath, trying to loosen up.

It’s just training, Gwen. You’re fine.

“You ready?”

I just nod.

Thankfully, because of the mat, I can hear Joel move the couple of steps it takes to reach me. His warm hands move slowly to cross in front of me, caging me in. This time, it doesn’t startle me. In fact, his warmth is oddly…comforting. Maybe it’s just the fact that I can’t see his distracting face with his too-sincere-eyes. That, and the fact that we’re not currently talking about all these potential threats I’m now facing. Though I suppose the threat has always been here, I just didn’t realize that anyone had taken action toward making good on that threat.

“In this position, you can’t use your arms to defend yourself.” Joel wraps his arms a little tighter around me. His words tickle my ear, and I feel a shiver run down my spine. A sensation I desperately hope goes unnoticed.

“You can headbutt your opponent, though with your height, it might be difficult. I would recommend that you drive your fist into your attacker's groin. But we’ll practice how to hit on a punching bag later.”

I nod again, actually keyed into what he’s saying now.

He releases me, but keeps his hands on my shoulders, indicating not to turn around yet. “The next one I’m going to show you is the chokehold. I won’t apply pressure, I just want to show you how to go through the motions. Is that okay?”

“Mhm,” I wonder if the small circles his thumb is drawing on my right shoulder are on purpose, or just subconscious. I wish I could close my eyes and focus only on how good it feels. In the split second as my eyes flutter shut, I’m overwhelmed by how good he smells. I’m not even sure if he showered this morning. Can a man smell that good naturally?

“Okay so anyone experienced will have one hand on your head,” He places his palm on the top of my hair, “And the other arm will wrap around you here,” He moves his right arm so that my neck rests in the crook of it. As Joel settles in, his wrapped around hand resting on my opposite shoulder, I feel like I should be doing something. Not fighting him off but… turning toward him. Or reaching behind me, grabbing his waist, pulling him closer.

“From here,” his gruff voice sounds even huskier in this stance, “You need to put space between us, so wrap your hands around my arm near your neck and pull. You’ll need less space than you think to get air through.”

I place one hand on his bicep, and one on his forearm, and pull. I don’t want to be noticing the heaviness in my chest, struggling to rise and fall with his arm resting at the top. Or how my breath catches, though he hasn’t applied any pressure, just as he said. All I know is that I’m not thinking of someone breaking into my bedroom anymore. But I’m not picturing myself alone in there, either.

“I’ll tighten just a little so you can use your weight to get away. I promise you’ll still be able to breathe. Alright?”

“Okay,” I sound short-winded, and I’ve barely even moved.

It wasn’t Joel tightening his grip on me that did it, or the feel of his arms, or the gentle way his hand rests on my head despite our position. It was this damn, low, almost inaudible grunt he let out when he pulled me closer. My back being pressed against him by his force alone, the peace it brought me where moments before a spiral had been taking over. I feel myself start to arch my back—

“No,” I say, tapping his arm rapidly with my hand. He releases me instantly, taking several steps back as I whip around to face him, even though I don’t dare look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, Miss Russell. Was it too much?” His voice is apologetic, riddled with concern.

It actually wasn’t enough.

“We don’t have to do the demonstrations if—”

“I’m hungry.” I blurt out.

Joel pauses. “If I made you uncomfortable—”

“Please, I’m not uncomfortable. I forgot to eat.” I laugh a little, hoping he’ll buy it. “I’m gonna go—” I was going to say I’m going to get bagels, but he would be required to come with me. And I need to keep him and his stupid, chiseled chest as far away from me as possible. “I’m gonna go shower.”

“Don’t you need to eat?” He doesn’t look like he’s trying to tease me, even though I know he can tell I’m lying. His big brown eyes are still full of worry.

“Yeah I’ll grab a granola bar or something,” I say as I stride toward the door of the studio, yanking it open. I don’t check to see if he follows me, and even though I assume he will, I make it all the way back on to the elevator and into my foyer without hearing his footsteps. Once inside, I lightly slap my face.

“What are you thinking, Gwen. You can’t stand him.” I whisper, shuddering on my way to the bathroom.

But I know what I was thinking. I was thinking of those concerned eyes, and that natural, musky smell. And how I found myself wishing that Ryan-Brian the other night had hair like Joel’s so I could pull the ends of his waves as we kissed. I was thinking about those broad, broad shoulders. And how, despite other people in my life who claimed to care about my well-being, he had been the only one to tell me the truth about the break-in.

You don’t know his motivations. You don’t know why he’s really here.

The cynic is clawing at the hormonal part of my brain, imploring me to stick to the plan. Get him out of here.

But as that thought floats through my mind, it’s not determination that latches on to it, but fear.

I don’t want him to leave.

Rationally, it must be because of any legitimate threat that could come my way. It’s not because it’s him. I’m just unsatisfied right now. And I know just who to call to remedy that situation and refocus.

So, before I can hear Joel walk through the elevator doors, I turn on the water, and proceed to take the coldest shower I’ve ever had.

Next Chapter

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Masterlist

[thatuselesshuman]

Friday Kiss Tag

Pov: me explaining how I'm going to do the Friday kiss tag without having a single kiss to ever share

Anyways, thank you for the tag @wyked-ao3 @agirlandherquill @sableglass and @the-golden-comet

This week, I shall write how I imagine the first kiss between Five and Zero would go. This isn't a part of canon, since I'm writing it specifically for this, but I hope you still enjoy my attempt at writing anything past a hug (I've never written a proper kiss in my life)

Slight warning for a bit of steam under the cut. Nothing too bad, Five's just thirsty

The two sat on Zero's bed, Five leaning against Zero's chest while Zero played with a hand-held puzzle that looked as old as he was. “How old is that puzzle? It looks like it predates the Selim Empire,” Five asked, miming coughing from the non-existent dust. Zero didn't answer for a minute, finishing whatever step he was on before responding. “That's because it does,” He said wryly. “You forget that I built the Selim Empire.” Five grumbled at that, a faint mumbled ‘old man’ among the grumbling. Zero ignored him, continuing to play with the puzzle.

They sat for a few more minutes in comfortable silence before Five started to get agitated. “This is boringggg,” he complained. “We should do something more exciting.” Zero paused what he was doing and looked down at Five, more for Five's benefit than his, since he couldn't truly see. “And what do you suggest we do that's more ‘exciting’?” Zero asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, while Five reached up to take his mask off. Five thought Zero was plenty hot with the mask on, him having the mysterious vibe going on, but without the mask? Five couldn't be trusted.

“Hmmm, I do have an idea,” Five said mischievously, sitting up so he was face to face with Zero. Zero raised an eyebrow, but didn't move away. Instead, he set aside his puzzle. Five sat back on his legs, his hands going to Zero's waist. “I think you should kiss me,” Five said confidently. Zero seemed even more intrigued than before. “And why is this coming about?” Zero asked, leaning in closer to bridge the distance that Five had put between them when he sat back. “Because,” Five said primly. “We've had this thing going on for a few months and you have yet to kiss me. It's rude to leave a guy hanging like that, you know.”

Zero simply shrugged at that. “You never asked,” He said by way of explanation. Five rolled his eyes, not designing that with a response, and instead just closed the gap between them and sealed their lips together. Both of their eyes immediately fell closed. The kiss was nothing special, an experimental peck on the lips, but both of them seemed almost shocked when they pulled back. Zero was the first to school his expression, it turning into a taunting grin. “Is that the best you can do? Weren't you an infamous player?”

Five scowled and took it as a challenge. He surged to meet Zero's lips, immediately more heat behind the kiss. Five's hand went up to grab Zero's jaw, tilting it up to meet his so he could have a better angle. Zero pressed further into Five's space, but the angle was awkward. After a little bit, Five pulled away again. He didn't give Zero time to comment again before he was swinging his leg over Zero's legs and sliding into his lap, now properly above him. Faint blush dusted Zero's face and ears, which Five had the sudden urge to make worse.

Five stared down at Zero, running a thumb over his jaw. Apparently, he sat there just staring for a while, since Zero began to become agitated. “Don't just stare,” Zero said with furrowed brows. Five grinned, taking the demand for the win it was. “Just because you're a bitter blind old man doesn't mean I have to be. I want to be the fun old man, the one who drags your ass out to parties,” Five declared happily, leaning in so that their faces were mere inches apart. Five could feel the slight, uneven breath from Zero dusting his face. Saints the things he would do to this man.

Zero made a noise of discontentment. “Yeah well how about you be the old man who gets moving, hm?” Zero teased, hands going to Five's waist. Five scoffed. “Do I have to do everything around here? Lazy ass,” He complained before swooping down to kiss Zero again. Zero pressed their chests together, getting rid of any molecule of space between them. Five grinned into the kiss, pleased with the outcome of his suggestion. It was infinitely more exciting than that damn puzzle.

@moltenwrites @willtheweaver @illarian-rambling @katenewmanwrites @drchenquill +open tag

[cloudburst-ink]

Wuju you stay 👀

flkgjdklfgkdj you KNOW WHAT THIS IS 😂

Okay, but for those who don't:

I had a plan of writing a KimChay AU called Wuju You Stay, where I would basically just jokingly try to predict the plot of Wuju Bakery and see if anything landed. I have since tabled this project as there's no realistic way I could write it before Wuju airs, but I'll include some fun highlights below.

Kim crash lands on Earth. Not into Chay's shop, but nearby. He ends up at Chay's shop because it's vaguely space themed and Kim is hoping that even if Chay isn't in the business of space travel, he can point him to someone who is.

The first time Kim walks into Chay's shop imitates the Wuju Bakery teaser with them seeing each other through the bakery case. After their spark moment, Chay then stands and brightly offers Kim a sample from his sample tray. Kim doesn't understand what Chay is saying to him because Kim's automatic translator broke in the crash, but he is very well traveled and understands that in most cultures across the universe, it is very rude to refuse a gift when someone offers it. So he graciously accepts the entire sample tray and walks out of the bakery with it. Chay then has to track down the weird foreign guy who absconded with his sample tray to get it back. He decides not to make a big deal out of it because he's worried that maybe Kim is lost and hungry. Chay is all alone now since his brother moved away, so he makes the impulsive decision to try to help Kim.

There's an entire subplot where Kim's people are very non-touchy except for during mating season. Kim suspects that maybe humans are currently in their mating season because he sees so much casual touching around him, and is trying to be respectful about it. Except if that's the case, Chay is clearly refusing suitors left and right, and Chay casually touches Kim so much--though less so once Chay realizes Kim is sensitive about it. This leads Kim to come to the conclusion that Chay has chosen Kim to be his mate, and Kim does a lot of cute and silly things as a result, trying to get Chay to turn his clearly romantic intentions (aka normal platonic touchiness) on someone of his own species.

Chay teaches Kim “I come in peace.” with the Spock hand gesture. Kim starts using it on people Very Seriously so Chay has to laughingly tell him to stop and conveys that ‘hello’ and ‘nice to meet you’ are fine.

Kim learns to trust Chay and shows Chay his crashed ship, revealing that he's an alien. They accidentally and unknowingly activate the ship's tracking beacon that finally will bring someone to come rescue Kim--right as Kim realizes that maybe he might like to try being this guy's chosen mate after all.

Since Kim is an alien, Chay decides he must see all of the best alien movies. They have a cute horror movie marathon and Chay hides his face in Kim's shoulder and teaches Kim the word "scary."

Later, when some mean antagonist character is in the shop bullying Chay, Kim very pointedly and seriously looks at Chay and says "scary" and mimes covering his face. Hesitantly, Chay obeys. There's a horrible sound, and then screaming, and when Chay panics and turns back around, Kim is standing there looking perfectly normal and calm as the mean antagonist scrambles away and flees down the sidewalk outside. Chay never really learns what Kim did, but he decides that whatever it was, it was pretty damn hot.

After they sleep together for the first time, Kim is baffled when Chay wants to go again in the morning--usually for Kim's people, the desire to touch and mate ends after they couple. For a day or so, he thinks that he's not satisfying Chay because Chay keeps crowding him back toward bed for more. This is finally cleared up when Chay catches onto Kim's hesitance. It's a challenging conversation because they only have the limited human vocabulary Chay has taught him, but Kim basically has to end up admitting that he's considered very kinky for his people and kind of likes all these weird, year-round affections that humans share.

There's a recurring theme of pinky promises, which Chay teaches Kim how to do early on. Near the end of the fic, when Kim is found by his people and must go home, he pinky promises Chay that he will return one day. This is the first scene where Kim gets to talk to Chay using a proper automatic translator and it's a Big Emotional Moment.

Big, who is the person who came to rescue Kim and take him home, has to keep averting his eyes in embarrassment as Kim and Chay say their goodbyes because they keep holding hands and touching and it's so embarrassing, they might as well be fucking on the countertop.

The last scene of the story very closely mirrors their first meeting. Chay is down putting sweets in the display case, when Kim approaches and crouches down to see him through the glass. Kim smiles and in a much clearer, unaccented voice now that he has a functioning translator, says "I come in peace." Chay squeals and jumps over the counter and throws his arms around him and they live happily ever after.

🛸👽🍰

THERE. NOW IT'S OUT IN THE WORLD. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!

If you're curious about my WIPs, you can find the original Ask Game post here!