#Because it needs to be full circle. Or I’ll lose my MIND

[gemglyph]

The pressure is on to finish everything I’m screaming

[simplygojo]

Die With A Smile

Authors Note: This request really sparked something in me…and I may or may not have gotten carried away, but I hope you like it :) I kinda liked listening to the song while reading, but not sure if I prefer with or without it..

Request/Prompt : Song “Die With A Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars (with smut) - @mawhoreagaa

My requests are always open :)

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f/reader

Word Count : 3.4K

Warnings : 18+ Content, SMUT!, oral, intercourse

The night felt heavy. Gojo stood by the window of his penthouse, the city’s distant hum a faint reminder that life carried on below, while up here, everything seemed to slow. The warmth of the evening clung to the air, but it was his own thoughts that weighed him down more than the heat. Tomorrow was unlike any other day.

He was facing a curse user who had proven to be a serious threat, a fight that even Gojo—the strongest sorcerer—knew could push him beyond his limits.

He never liked to admit it, never let the thought settle in his mind, but this fight was different. The kind that made even him question whether he would walk away unscathed, or walk away at all.

His gaze drifted over to where you sat, unaware of the full weight of the battle that loomed over him. You were watching him closely, sensing something was wrong. It wasn’t fear on his face, but a certain tension, something rare that you’d only seen a few times before. 

He wasn’t cracking jokes like usual or teasing you with that playful grin. Instead, he stood there, quiet, his hands in his pockets, as if he was lost in thought—no, not thought. It was something deeper.

“Gojo,” you finally called, voice soft, but enough to pull him out of his reverie. “Are you okay? You’ve been... off tonight.”

He looked at you, and for a brief moment, the mask slipped. His bright eyes, usually filled with endless confidence, held a shadow of something else. Not fear, but an understanding. An acknowledgment of the unknown that tomorrow held.

He crossed the room slowly, his steps deliberate, his gaze never leaving yours. When he reached you, Gojo knelt down in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs, thumbs tracing slow circles against your skin. His touch was warm, comforting, but there was a desperation in it, like he was memorizing the feel of you.

“Something big is going to happen tomorrow,” he said, his voice lower than usual, almost a murmur. “I can sense someone—a curse user—someone stronger than most. I am going to have to fight, I can feel it.”

You blinked, your heart sinking slightly at his words. “And?”

He gave you a small, soft smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And there’s a chance I might not come back.”

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and real. It wasn’t like Gojo to admit something like that—he never worried about losing. He never worried about anything. But this... this felt different.

Your breath hitched, but you refused to show him the fear building inside you. You knew what he did was dangerous. You had accepted that long ago. But hearing him admit there was a possibility that he might not return tomorrow—that hit you harder than you expected.

Gojo’s hand slid up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly along your jaw. 

“Hey, don’t look like that.” His voice softened, his usual teasing tone creeping back in just a little. “I’ll still win, you know. I’m the strongest.”

But it didn’t sound as convincing as usual. He didn’t need to say it—he wasn’t worried about his strength or the battle. He was worried about this. About you. About tonight.

You reached up, your hand covering his, pressing his palm more firmly against your cheek. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because,” Gojo paused, searching your face, as if he wanted to engrain every detail of you into his memory. “If tomorrow doesn’t go as hoped... I want tonight to matter.”

You swallowed, heart pounding as his words settled over you like a heavy blanket. “Gojo—”

“Call me Satoru tonight,” he interrupted, “Like you do when you’re happy,” his voice a quiet demand, his thumb stilling on your skin. “Just tonight.”

The weight of his name, his real name, hung between you like a tether, binding you together in this intimate moment. 

He leaned closer, his lips ghosting over your forehead, barely touching but enough to send shivers through you. His hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer.

“I don’t want to think about tomorrow,” he whispered against your skin, his breath warm and slightly ragged. “I don’t care what happens in that fight. I just... I want to love you like it’s the last time I’ll ever get to.”

Your chest tightened at his words. You had never seen Gojo like this—so raw, so vulnerable. 

It was as if he was shedding every layer of his carefree facade, leaving only the man beneath. The man who was afraid of something far deeper than death: leaving without having fully shown you how much he cared.

“Satoru...” You whispered his name softly, your fingers threading through his white hair as you pulled him closer. “We don’t have to say goodbye tonight.”

He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours as he looked into your eyes, his bright blue ones darker now, filled with emotion. “Maybe not,” he said softly, his voice a gentle murmur, “but if we do, I want to make sure you never forget how I feel.”

The room seemed to shrink around you, the world narrowing down to just the two of you, wrapped in the quiet intensity of the moment. 

There was no teasing grin, no playful banter—just the weight of Gojo’s need to be with you, to hold you, to make sure you knew exactly how much he wanted you. 

His lips brushed yours softly, almost reverently, as his hands slid up your thighs, finding a resting place on your hips.

“You don’t have to,” you whispered, your hands resting at the back of his head, twirling his white hair between your fingers, “I already know.”

But Gojo shook his head, a soft, almost sad smile pulling at his lips. “It’s not enough to know. I want you to feel it.”

And in that moment, with his hands on your skin and the warmth of his forehead pressing against yours, you realized that tonight wasn’t just about him—it was about both of you. 

The need to hold on, the desire to forget tomorrow, to live in the present moment as though it was your last.

Because for Gojo, that was the only way to love you now.

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours, the kiss slow but deep, filled with unspoken promises. His fingers slid beneath the hem of your shirt, his touch rough but careful on your soft, delicate skin, sending shivers of anticipation coursing through you. 

He lifted you up from your seat on the chair, your legs wrapping around his torso as his hands supported you with a firm squeeze of your ass.

The world seemed to fall away, the only thing that mattered was the heat between you, the way his body pressed against yours.

“I’ll die with a smile, even if it’s just for tonight,” he murmured between kisses, his breath warm against your lips. 

There was something in his voice, a quiet intensity, and you knew he meant every word. It sent a thrill through you, and you could feel the weight of those words settle deep inside, making your heart race.

You didn’t have to think; your body moved on instinct, drawn to him in a way that felt inevitable. He adjusted his grip on you, one of his long arms now laid on your spine, holding you at the base of your neck, the other still holding the weight of you up. 

He pressed you closer, his lips claiming yours in a kiss that left you breathless. The heat between you was unbearable now, the tension that had been building for so long finally breaking free.

Gojo’s lips trailed down your neck, his breath ragged. You could feel the strength in him, the way his body moved with a quiet intensity that matched the fire burning inside you. 

His words, laced with desire and urgency, sent a jolt of heat through you, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped your lips as his hand gave your ass a good squeeze, his touch firm but careful. His lips found the sensitive spot just below your ear, and you shivered beneath the intensity of his kisses, a heat pooling at your pussy.

Your hands focused on messing up his beautiful hair. Your lips moving hungrily with him

“I don’t care about tomorrow,” Gojo whispered against your skin, his voice soft but firm, each word punctuated with the gentle scrape of his teeth on your neck. “Right now, it’s just you and me.”

Your breath hitched, your heart pounding in your chest as his hand slid up your back, pushing your shirt higher. Every inch of skin he touched seemed to burn, a fire that only grew with each passing second. 

You tilted your head, giving him more access as his lips trailed down your collarbone, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that made your knees weak.

Each brush of his lips, each press of his hands against your skin, felt like an unspoken promise—a desperate attempt to savor every moment as if it might be the last.

You felt the warmth of his breath against your collarbone, his fingers deftly pushing your shirt up higher until it was discarded on the floor without a second thought. His touch was searing, his hands mapping every curve of your body, and you felt a jolt of electricity course through you when he lifted you effortlessly into his arms.

“Let me take care of you, my girl,” Gojo murmured against your lips, his voice deep and filled with a quiet urgency. 

He held you close, his strength undeniable as he carried you toward the bedroom, his eyes never leaving yours. There was something in his gaze—a vulnerability that only surfaced in rare moments like this, a silent plea for you to stay with him on this fleeting night.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tracing his skin, memorizing the way it felt as your lips found his again, the kiss deepening with a hunger that couldn’t be contained any longer. 

The weight of his body against yours, the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch, sent a thrill of heat through you, your breath coming faster with every second.

“You already know what you mean to me,” he whispered between heated kisses, his breath warm and uneven against your lips. The way he said it, with such conviction, made your heart race. You knew he meant every word, and it was impossible not to feel the weight of his desire—of his need for you. “Let me make sure you remember..”

The bedroom door clicked shut behind him, but the world outside didn’t matter anymore. There was only this—Gojo’s hands, his lips, his body pressed against yours as if he couldn’t get enough of you. He laid you down gently on the bed, his fingers tracing the outline of your naked body, lingering over every inch of bare skin.

Your pulse quickened as you felt his weight settle over you, his broad frame caging you in beneath him. 

The heat between your bodies was unbearable now, and the tension that had been building for so long was finally unraveling. His lips found yours again, the kiss slower this time but no less intense, as if he was savouring every moment, every breath.

“Don’t hold back,” he whispered against your mouth, his voice rough with desire. “I want all of you.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, your body reacting to the raw intensity in his tone. You could feel his hands wandering lower, his touch deliberate but careful, as if he was trying to memorize every curve, every inch of you. 

When his fingers dug into your hips, a soft moan escaped your lips, and you could feel him smirk against your skin.

His lips trailed down your neck again, lingering on the sensitive spot just below your ear, his breath hot and uneven as he continued his path downward. 

You arched into him, your hands tangled in his hair, tugging gently as your lips moved hungrily against his, each kiss more desperate than the last.

“I’m gonna love you like it’s the last time,” Gojo’s voice was a low murmur against your skin, his teeth grazing your neck as his hands slid under your back, pushing you closer to him. “Right now, it’s just you and me. I need you.”

His words were almost a growl, sending heat rushing to your pussy as your body responded to his every touch, every kiss. You could feel the tension building between you, a fire that couldn’t be extinguished, and it drove you wild. 

His hands roamed your body with purpose, every touch sending sparks of electricity coursing through you. He tugged at the band of your lacy thong, discarding it in a swift motion, leaving you vulnerable beneath him. 

His eyes widened at the view of you. He wasted no time in spreading your legs open with his big hands and planting soft kisses all over your dripping cunt—making sure to watch as your head fell back in reaction to his tongue entering you with ease. 

Your breath hitched as his mouth returned to your—tasting yourself on his tongue as his lips moved sloppily on yours. 

The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered—set your heart racing, and you couldn’t help but pull him closer, needing him in every way possible.

“Satoru,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat, “don’t stop.”

His name, spoken by your sweet, seducing voice with such need, seemed to ignite something in him. Gojo positioned himself and every so slowly inserted himself into you, his own head falling backwards at the sensation—his grip on your thighs tightening as he lowered into you. 

His strokes were slow—as if he was trying to pour every ounce of emotion into it. His hands slid up your sides, fingers brushing the sensitive skin beneath your breasts, his touch lighting a fire everywhere he went. 

You gasped loudly as he continued his pace, every thrust going deeper into your walls. He took his time, savouring the way your body responded to his every touch, his every kiss on your stomach as he fucked you slowly. 

The tension in the room was palpable, thick with the weight of unspoken desire and the promise of what was to come. Every moment felt like it was suspended in time, as if nothing else existed but you and him.

You could feel the heat radiating off him, his breath coming faster as the moments between you grew more intense. He looked up at you then, his blue eyes dark with need, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I want to hear you,” he murmured, his voice rough and low. “I want to feel you.”

You could barely form a coherent thought, your body moving on instinct as you reached for him, pulling yourself to sit up and put your lips on his while he fucked you, the pace quickening. The kiss was searing, filled with an urgency that couldn’t be denied. Every second, every touch, every breath felt like it was leading to something inevitable, something explosive.

And in that moment, as his body pressed against yours, the world outside ceased to exist. There was no tomorrow, no battle, no uncertainty—only the two of you, wrapped up in each other, lost in the intensity of the moment. 

Gojo’s hands tightened on your hips, pushing himself even deeper into you, evoking a pornographic moan from your lips.

“If tonight’s all I have,” he breathed, his voice thick with emotion, “then I’ll make sure it’s enough.”

—

The hours that followed were a blur of tangled sheets, loud moans, whispered names, and unspoken promises. Now, in the quiet aftermath, your bodies were entwined, limbs lazily draped over each other as the cool air filtered in through the open window onto your dam skin. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the room, casting shadows across Gojo’s face, making him look almost otherworldly in the dim light.

Your head rested on his chest, the steady rise and fall of his breathing lulling you into a peaceful haze. 

The world outside was silent, but you could feel the weight of the unspoken between you—the tension that still lingered despite the intimacy you had just shared. His arm was wrapped around you, fingers tracing lazy patterns along your bare chest, but you could feel a quiet restlessness in him.

“You worried about this fight, Satoru?” You said softly, adjusting your position to gaze into his clear eyes.

He was quiet for a long moment, his gaze drifting back toward the ceiling as if searching for the right words. His fingers absently combed through your hair, and you could feel the shift in his energy, the way his usual carefree demeanour had given way to something more serious.

“There’s something about it,” he finally said, his voice quieter now, more thoughtful. “A feeling. It’s been gnawing at me for a while, like something big is coming.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you sat up slightly, your hand still resting on his chest. “Something big?”

Gojo nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s hard to explain, but… I have a feeling it’s going to be in Shibuya.”

“You’re going to be okay, right?” The words slipped from your mouth before you could stop them, the worry evident in your voice.

Gojo’s hand cupped your face again, pulling you down for a gentle kiss. His breath was warm against your lips, his eyes meeting yours with a softness that made your chest ache. “I’m the strongest,” he reminded you, though his voice lacked its usual arrogance.

The weight of his words settled between you, heavy and real. You wanted to believe him, to trust that he would come back to you, but the uncertainty of it all made your throat tighten. There was something about tonight, something about the way he held you, that made it feel like a goodbye.

You pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you let his words wash over you. The warmth of his body, the steady beat of his heart, and the feel of his hands holding you close—it was all you had right now, and you clung to it with everything you had. 

His scent, familiar and comforting, mixed with the lingering warmth of the room, wrapping around you like a blanket. His breath was steady, and in that small space between you, it felt like the rest of the world had vanished.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you murmured, your voice soft but filled with determination. Even as doubt gnawed at the edges of your mind, you wanted to believe him. You needed to believe him.

Gojo’s lips quirked into a smile, a real one this time, one that softened the sharpness in his eyes and made your heart swell despite the worry still gnawing at you. 

He kissed you again, slower this time, as if trying to savor every second, his lips brushing against yours in a way that felt like a promise. 

Each kiss was unhurried yet intense, a dance between fear and love. You kissed him back just as desperately, pouring all your fears, your love, and your hope into that kiss, as if it could tether him to you no matter what tomorrow might bring.

When you broke apart for air, your lips still brushed lightly against his, and you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your mouth.

“And I’ll give you 5,000 yen if you’re right about it being at Shibuya,” you teased, the humor in your voice a small attempt to ease the tension between you.

Gojo let out a laugh, low and rich, and the sound filled the room, easing some of the weight that hung in the air. Without warning, he flipped the two of you over, his body moving with an effortless grace as he gently pinned you beneath him, your back sinking into the mattress. 

His hands gripped your hips, grounding you, and for a moment, you were lost in the sheer presence of him—the way he made you feel safe, despite everything.

“You’re on,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest as he leaned down, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss. 

For now, that was enough. 

—

Turns out he was right, it was at Shibuya.

But you had no one to give the 5,000 yen.

[caelisblade]

– REWARDS | SYLUS

studying for your final exams with sylus turns into him rewarding you for your hard work

content: alternate universe, sylus is a normal human being (with red eyes, oopsie), isn’t that cool?!; established relationship; non-canon sylus (he’s actually sweet and gentle in this one); n/sf/w warning; unprotected s/3/x; praise; overstimulation; aftercare <3

wc: 1,9k

“i’m so sick of this”, you whined, your head slamming on your study books on your desk. you only looked up with a glare when you heard your boyfriend snicker behind you – sylus was finding this too amusing. “don’t fucking laugh.”

“you’re so adorable when your frustrated, sweetie, i can’t help it”, he said, leaning back on his chair next to you. “i offered you help and you refused. i can’t do anything but watch you work your cute little brain.”

“i refused your help because i don’t need your help. i can handle it.”

“clearly”, he snorted, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before standing up. “do you need snacks?”

you nodded without any hesitation. “please. i need snacks or i’m going to lose my shit.” 

you heard another chuckle before he disappeared out of your (his) office. a groan left your throat again. 

you were studying for your final exams with him and you were happy that he was there for mental support – you just couldn’t ask of him to go through this for another time when he had successfully graduated two years ago. you knew that he was fine with working through the material with you but you just felt so guilty to ask this of him. 

sylus returned with his hands full of snacks and a plate of fruits you liked. you sighed softly and smiled at him. “what would i do without you?”

“you’d lose your shit”, he laughed, using your choice of words from earlier. 

“i love you”, you mumbled, grabbing a bite before you tried to focus back on your books but it didn't work out as you hoped. the words just went past you, everything you read was just going through your mind and you couldn’t process it. 

“ooookay, you’re going to take a break. and i don’t take a no for an answer” sylus suddenly said, taking the exam preparation books away from you. “you clearly can’t take anymore and you’re just going to come with me to bed and relax a little.” 

you nodded, defeated, and stood up, rubbing your eyes. “a little rest will help for sure.” 

sylus gave you his signature smirk, the one corner of his mouth lifted. “maybe i’ll even give you a little more.” 

you looked at him puzzled, not understanding what he was getting at. “what do you mean?”

“you‘ll see.”

so, that is what he meant.

he had you pinned down underneath him on the bed, clothes discarded into some corner of the room and he was happily between your legs, his tongue still teasing your sensitive clit after he had already brought you to an earth-shattering climax a few moments ago. 

your hands were buried in his silver hair, pulling on the strands. he stopped his teasing for a quick moment, his red eyes boring into your teary eyes. 

“you look relaxed”, he teased, laughing when he saw you glaring at him. “i‘m kidding, stop glaring at me.”

“you either go down on me or i won’t talk to you again”, you threatened, and he happily obliged. you didn’t know why, but sylus loved going down on you — he was just so excited to taste you, his tongue licking up every last drop of your slick. 

“we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”, he said as he took a quick breather. 

“exactly”, you replied with a grin, a sigh leaving your lips as you melted into his antics. “you‘re too good to me.”

“let‘s see if you say that again once you got me inside of you”, he groaned against your pussy, hands gripping your thighs a little tighter to keep your legs spread wide open. 

“oh, i‘m sure i‘ll say that again”, you giggled, which turned into a moan when you felt his tongue circling over your clit once again and one of his long fingers slipping inside of you. “fuck, sy!”

it didn’t take much of him fingering you and licking over your overstimulated clit until your legs started shaking, your body tensing up as you felt the knot in your tummy snap and you just cried out his name as a surge of pleasure burst through you. 

“good girl”, he praised, his hand softly brushing over your tummy as he waited for your shaky breath to even out. “you did so great, princess.” 

“god, sylus, just fuck me”, you whined, trying to pull him up on top of you. “i need you, please.” 

once he was on top of you, he kissed you again, you could taste yourself on his lips and you just couldn’t help but love the messiness of this all. his hand was on your cheek, his other hand wandering down your naked body. 

you giggled, his touch tickling and his wandering hand was gently placed on your hip. 

despite being such a serious person when it was about other people, sylus wasn’t shy to be caring and sweet to you. it was like he had two different personalities – the one where he was cold and harsh to people who crossed him and the one with you; being all kind and gentle with you. 

the moment he aligned his tip with your entrance and slowly pushed his cock in, he kissed you again, more intensely and passionately, trying to distract you from any possible pain you might experience through the stretch. and when he started to fuck you, hard and rough, just the way you both liked it, his teeth were latched to your neck, leaving bites and kisses over it. 

you felt his hand wander up your body again before his fingertips gently brushed over your arm and he finally intertwined your fingers, holding your hand as he rutted into you with such passion you had never expected of him the first time you had sex with him. 

“fuck, you feel so good”, he groaned against your neck, making your body shiver; his deep voice always had that effect on you, especially when you were losing your mind on his cock. “you take me so well.” 

another thing that had been a surprise to you was the amount of praise he gave when he took everything you could give him. he loved to be close to you, your legs wrapped around him and trying to get him as close as possible to you. 

your eyes rolled back, the pleasure making your body tremble and you were too close to your climax, but of course, as always, sylus had other plans for you. he slowed down, keeping himself buried in your pussy, but giving you no sort of stimulation whatsoever. 

“syyyy”, you whined, pouting in frustration. “don’t tease. i thought this was supposed to be a reward for me.” 

“don’t know where you got that from”, he shrugged with a smirk. and it was true – he had never specified that this would be a reward for you. but you couldn’t help and see it that way. sylus loved to pamper you, especially when there was something he was proud of you for. and fucking you into oblivion was one of those ‘rewards’ he’d like to give you. “i never said it was a reward.” 

“cut the shit, sylus and fuck me”, you begged, desperate to reach that climax that was just denied of you. “please.”

“look at you, being all sweet again”, he chuckled, brushing a strand of your hair from your face. planting a soft kiss on your lips, he resumed his rough, hard thrusts and made you cry out his name again. 

a loud moan left your lips once more when he started simultaneously circling your clit with his thumb while he was fucking you; making you finally come around his cock, a trail of creamy slick left around the base of it. 

“good girl”, he grunted, overstimulating you as he got closer to his own release, still fucking you until he finally ended up coming inside of you, coating your insides white and his weight heavy on your body before he finally rolled off of you, quickly hugging you from behind. 

his lips trailed over your neck, to your shoulders, not talking or anything as you both calmed down. “come on, baby, let’s wash up”, he whispered, finally getting out of bed and stretching. you just turned around and watched him, eyeing him intently. 

“you gonna stop staring and get up or do you want me to throw you over my shoulder?”, he teased, laughing. 

“i’m sore”, you just replied, shrugging. “carry me.” 

you stretched out your arms to which he just laughed, nodding before he lifted you up with ease, bringing you towards the bathroom and carefully placing you on your feet in the shower. turning on the water, he waited until you both were soaked before he grabbed your shower gel, before he gently started massaging it onto your skin, slowly washing you and then himself. 

yet, being naked in the shower with you, taking care of you, kind of turned him on again and it wasn’t long until he had you pinned against the wall, his cock buried inside of you once again, yet this time, he was fucking you much rougher, harder than before. even if he didn’t directly say it, you were right. this was a reward for you. this time, it was different. he drilled into you like nothing else in the world mattered rather than the sound of your moans into his ear. 

“baby, fuck”, he groaned, his hands under your thighs as he lifted you up a little. “you make me feel so good.” 

“sy- ah! sylus”, you cried out, your face contorting in pleasure as he hit your g-spot with his tip over and over again; making you come hard around him, and you were so sore, in the best way possible. 

the second he finally came inside of you again, he just leaned against you, trying to catch his breath before it turned into a soft laugh. “cleaned you up, just for this to happen again, huh?”, he chuckled. 

you started laughing, too. “let me wash your hair first before we get out of here. i need sleep”, you mumbled, exhausted from the constant stimulation on your body over the past two hours. 

he nodded, leaning down so you could reach his hair more easily as you massaged the shampoo into his hair. sylus after sex was someone craving lots of love and care, no matter how hard or rough he was before. 

after you finally washed up and dried yourself up, you both went back to bed, you with shaky legs to which sylus simply lifted you up again, carrying you towards the bed, but not letting you lay down until he at least had one of his overly big t-shirts on you and made you put on panties, despite your complaints of how sore you were. once you were clothed, he let you lay down and cover yourself with the blanket, quickly following you and hugging you from behind. 

“i love you”, you slurred with a sleepy, quiet voice. he didn’t reply, just planting a soft kiss on your shoulder before you finally fell asleep, allowing yourself to rest from all the studying you had done and then how much sylus had kept you on your toes. just that final, gentle kiss on your skin was enough. you knew just how much he loved you, too. 

[risuola]

III — THE UCHIHA KID // F. READER x TOBIRAMA SENJU

The babyboy that asked you for help turned out to be a member of the Uchiha clan and it's safe to say that he was terrified to face your husband. You, on the other hand, were more than willing to help him.

contents: none, just fluff — 3k words

POLITICALLY LOVELESS || SERIES MASTERLIST

A boy, whose name was Kagami Uchiha, was a six years old orphaned baby of the clan that your husband fruitlessly warned you about many times. It was against your nature to prejudice but you understood his point of view, after reading every document regarding the history of founding Konoha and the warring period. The baby was instructed by the clan members to head to Tobirama, as he was responsible for housing issues in the village, as well as the orphanage. Unfortunately, it was stated strictly that every move or change in the location had to go through the office, because it was needed to be noted. That made it easier to keep the order or act if someone was in danger.

After you knocked, you peaked inside the office, seeing your husband at the desk, reading something.

“What is it?” he asked, not even lifting his head, consumed by the document.

“Sorry to bother you, my dear,” you spoke, drawing his attention to you and as he looked up, his features twisted just slightly in surprise. Last thing he was expecting was to see you with a child in your arms. “If you need to finish reading, I’ll wait outside.”

“No, come in and give me a minute.”

Giving it a nod, you closed the door behind you as he got back to the paper he was analyzing. Approaching the large, full-wall-sized window you showed the view to the boy, admiring the enlarged eyes he made, seeing the whole village and woods around it from here. But even if he was stunned, his little body couldn’t stop shaking and it broke your heart. You gave him a peck to the cheek, whispering that he’s safe here in hope that no more tears will be spilled but you suspected otherwise.

“Alright, you can sit down, I’m done,” Tobirama informed and you went to take a seat in front of his desk, when he got up, circling it and leaning against the top, intentionally placing his hands down on his sides not to scare the child further with his guarded form.

“Would you mind if I present your case?” you asked the boy and he nodded, hiding his little face in your neck. Smoothing his back, you looked up to your husband. “This little gentleman has lost both of his parents and is in need for a place to live. He asked me for help, afraid to come here alone.”

“Is that the Uchiha kid?” Tobirama asked, hinting that he knows something about the situation already.

“Kagami Uchiha, yes.”

“Earlier today I received a notice informing that his parents were assigned for a mission that failed,” he looked back at the scrolls he was reviewing earlier that day, trying to bring some details to his mind and an exhale assisted him coming to terms with the not-so-pleasant part of his work. So many years he wanted to achieve nothing else than peace where children wouldn’t have to suffer the war and yet, still conflicts result in sorrow. “Well, I will contact Uchihas to find a family for him, but I’m afraid it will take few days. Probably weeks. Up until this time, he’ll go to the orpha-“

“Would it be possible that you let me handle this issue and take care of this boy for the time we get an answer? I can pay a visit to Madara, it would be much quicker.”

Tobirama stayed silent for few moments, searching for a solution to the matter, just like he always does and you gave him the time to answer while smoothing Kagami’s back. Sensing the lack of wrath from your husband, he slowly began relaxing in your embrace, soon falling asleep on your shoulder, exhausted by everything that happened to him lately. You couldn’t imagine how distressed was that boy by losing both of his parents, losing his home and being forced to face a man that he was convinced hates him. During your previous talk, he even hinted that he’s afraid that Tobirama will kill him if he goes there alone.

“It might be slightly more efficient if you go to Madara yourself, since he has a soft spot for you,” your man spoke finally, crossing his arms over his chest, like he usually does when thinking about something. “Please, elaborate on taking care of him yourself?”

“Our home has more than enough space for this little one to spend few days in, without stressing him with the orphanage. If you’d agree, I promise I’ll take care of him so he won’t interrupt your routine.”

It was a lot to ask him, you were well aware of that but you were determined to help this baby out. Tobirama was mostly out of the house anyway, it shouldn’t be a problem to have a 5-year-old that would probably be sleeping all the time he’s back. The very thought of weighing this poor little soul with another burden such as orphanage was making your heart clench.

“Such a kind heart you have,” the man exhaled deeply, looking at the child that was sleeping cuddled to your body, feeling safe enough to allow himself to lose consciousness. “Always so keen to help the village.”

“Konoha is also my home now,” you smiled, “and this child did nothing wrong, he’s just six.”

“My schedule is full for the next days so I won’t be able to help you. Can you handle the issue alone?”

“I’m positive. I took care of many children in Yu, they always seem to like me,” you glanced at the boy, your face now stained with a soft smile. “And I’m sure that I can find a loving family to this baby by talking with people myself faster than the documents could.”

“So let be it,” Tobirama straightened up and you got up as well, happy to hear his response. “I should manage to prepare the documents by tomorrow, so they will be ready when you’re done with your search. Up until now, please make sure to provide what’s needed for this boy.”

“Yes, my Lord,” you smiled, giving him a kiss to the corner of his lips, before saying goodbye and leaving.

Tobirama stayed in place for a moment longer, his mind replaying the words you used to address him. It wasn’t out of ordinary for people to call him lord, he was hokage’s brother and arguably one of the most, if not the most important person in the village but you were the only one, who called him your Lord. He loved hearing those words, it made him feel like he was indeed yours and being yours came with pride to Tobirama. From the beginning he was focused on you staying by his side, and now, knowing how loving and pure-hearted you are, he was overjoyed to call himself yours. Your Lord, your husband, your dear. Everything you addressed him with made his heart flutter. You were really an angel sent from above and with that thought, he got back to work.

The night you spent sleeping in the guest room, next to the little boy that was too frightened to sleep alone in the foreign place, but relaxed immediately, feeling your body’s warmth next to him. To know you were a safe space for him, that he was able to find peace and security in you made your heart swell with joy.

The night you stayed alerted, sleeping lightly in order to notice if Kagami was having a calm dream and as the morning struck its light onto your face and you heard your husband getting ready to leave, you raised a little on your elbow. As if Tobirama sensed you’re awake, he peaked into the guest room, quietly approaching your side of the bed and motioning you to not leave the bed.

“Don’t get up, it’s alright,” he told you, taking a mental picture of how tenderly you kept the little boy to yourself. From the moment he’d seen you in his office the day before, he knew he won’t get the peace of mind now, his thoughts constantly circling around the depiction of you caring for your own child. Tobirama was never too keen on having his own spouse, hoping the bloodline will be passed down by Hashirama, but he couldn’t deny the image was tempting.

“I’m sorry, my dear,” you whispered. “I’ll bring you bento to your office.”

“Don’t worry about it. Was the night peaceful?”

“It was, yes”, you gave it a little nod, whilst Tobirama glanced at you two once again.

“I have to go now. You know where to find me.”

“Have a nice day.”

With a soft kiss planted on your temple, he was soon gone.

“He’s not that bad,” Kagami muttered against your chest and you smiled, smoothing his hair.

“Of course, he’s not,” you cooed quietly. “He may look scary, but has a good heart.”

Two weeks it took you to finalize the issue with Kagami and you couldn’t be happier with the outcome. The family you found with the help of Madara was a couple that couldn’t have their own children but dreamt of one. With tears they agreed to open their hearts to the young boy, thanking you, their ancestors and even gods for the gift and it thrilled you to know that he’s safe and sound now, with good people. The two were shinobi, with father that’s mid-ranked officer of Uchiha forces and a mother that’s skilled in ninjutsu, and you believed they can raise Kagami to be a powerful ninja in the future, that got to know parental love.

Collecting all of the documents and sharing few more moments with the boy, you promised him that he’s welcome to your home always and offered your help if he or his family needed anything. It broke your heart just a little to give him away, as you’ve become quite attached to him, but it was better for Kagami to grow among Uchihas, learn about their techniques and sharingan – things that you couldn’t teach him, especially when during the time you learned that a powerful ocular jutsu is coded in his blood line. You hoped that being raised with the clan will allow Kagami to grow into his full potential.

“Thank you, Madara,” you bowed slightly to the clan leader, when you were about to leave their district. “I think the family will cherish the future.”

“I think so too,” he responded. “I have to admit, it’s bold of you to involve in Uchiha matters, being a wife to Tobirama. You have my respect.”

“The child has nothing to do with the eternal conflict between your clan and the Senju. And I’m neither of those,” chuckling, you secured the scrolls into the pouch on your waist. “But I’m glad Kagami found a loving home, because if that wouldn’t be the case, I’d insist on raising him myself and that would make things a little complicated.”

“I imagine. You have a kind heart, I hope this world won’t corrupt it too quickly,” Madara lowered his head just slightly, in respect towards you. “If that’s all, I’ll return to my duties.”

“Of course. Thank you once again. I’ll leave now too.”

Exchanging quick goodbyes, you got back home to prepare food for your husband and while the rice was cooking, you tidied up a little. It was inevitable that a little bit of mess will set inside, as the child was staying there but it was nothing severe. Already missing Kagami, you sighed. The kid was just too adorable not to grow attached. He was just the right balance between quiet and loud, he loved to be hugged and often fell asleep while being in your embrace. With his little kisses on the cheek, you felt your heart flutter and grow, and even your husband, whom you wouldn’t call the best with children, liked the little Uchiha, although he would never admit it out loud. You noticed he was softer towards him; he even took the boy on his lap while in the office which was one of the most adorable moments you’ve witnessed, probably in your life. You were convinced he would agree if you asked to keep the baby, but that would be selfish of you. It truly was the best for him to be raised by Uchihas and just because you gave him to the new family didn’t mean you won’t ever see him again. You were informed to be welcome in their house whenever you feel like it and you also proclaimed yourself as the official aunt.

With the bento filled and packed, you locked the door and took a walk to the hokage office, where your husband also had his place but, in his workplace, you didn’t find him. Taking the liberty of entering without permission you approached his desk and placed the food and the scroll there, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen you sat down on his chair to write a note.

“Comfortable?” deep, familiar voice reached your ears when the doors opened and your husband entered his office. You looked up, watching him as he went across the room and before you reacted, he already pulled you away from the desk, grabbed your body like it weighted nothing and sat down, situating you on top of his thighs.

“Now I am,” you joked, kissing his cheek. “Good morning, my dear.”

“Good morning,” he took the letter you were writing and glanced over the text before putting it to one of his drawers. “How’s Kagami?”

“Safe in his new home. I already know he’ll be spoiled; they were on cloud nine taking him in. Madara was cooperative as well. I’d say everything went well,” you briefed, smoothing over the back of his neck. “All details and documents are inside those scrolls I brought you. I made sure to fill them to your standards.”

“I’m sure you did,” he chuckled. “Thank you for lunch.”

A smile bloomed on your face. “You’re welcome, my love.”

Love. That was the first time he heard this one specific word coming from your mouth and he wondered for a second if he misheard you, because surely, he had to. Love was a strong word, even though it wasn’t a confession, it still held one heavy emotional impact and Tobirama was convinced that love wasn’t what’s between you two. He loves you, yes. How could he not if you’re such a good person? A great shinobi that was ready to die for the village that wasn’t even your own, a golden heart keen to help everyone, a woman beautiful inside and outside. A perfect human being that he had the luck to marry through the political arrangement. But you had not that much reason to fall for him. You were patient and kind to him, just as you were to everybody else. You touched him, but you told him before marriage that it's your way of showing affection. You got up every day so early only to wish him a great day and make sure he has something to eat, even though you could sleep for a little longer before starting your day. Could that be out of love and not out of wife’s duty?

“I have one more meeting today and it’s possible I’ll be free a little earlier today,” he said finally, breaking out of his own spiral of overthinking, “would you want to join me for a walk this evening?”

“I would absolutely love to,” smiling, you leaned your head over his shoulder, inhaling his scent gently pulling down his collar so you could press your lips against his skin. “I shouldn’t take your time while you’re at work, should I?”

“I have few more minutes before I need to leave for a meeting and I’ll gladly give those to you.”

“In that case, I’ll gladly accept them.”

It didn’t take long for Tobirama’s lips to find yours, locking them in a kiss filled with longing. He himself was surprised of how much his body yearned for the closeness of yours, after two weeks of very limited contact due to a child in your home that consumed all of your attention. You’ve got him so used to your affections that he found himself unable to exist correctly without them. What have you done to him? All of his life, Tobirama believed that emotional attachment was a barrier; that it’s something he cannot afford in order to stay strong and reliable, but you proved him wrong. You proved that not only he needs feelings in his life but also, they make him stronger than he was before. You made him stronger; you made him a better leader; you showed him that softness isn’t synonymous to weakness and the young Senju liked who he’d become with you by his side.

You could feel how hungry your man was, how starved of affection he had become in just those few days and it thrilled you, excitement coursing through your veins as you run your fingers through his silver hair. At the beginning, although agreeing to your touches, he wasn’t keen to reciprocate your gestures. He had to learn how to be physical with you, because before that only contact that involved two bodies was confined to battle. But Tobirama being a smart man, learned quickly that it’s not unusual for couples to share touches, to kiss, to sleep together. He learned that intimacy is first and foremost for pleasure, not only to reproduce. All of it made you happy. It meant he had opened to you, dropped down his guard and let you into his world that before you was strictly restricted to laws and orders.

 Biting on his lower lip you smiled, letting your hand brush the nape of his neck. Taking in his little gasp, you broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his and smoothing the light skin of his cheek, avoiding the red dashes he painted on his face every morning.

“What have you done to me?” he whispered, calming his breath.

“You’re welcome,” kissing him once more, you got up from his legs. “When should I expect you?”

“I’ll wrap things up around 8PM.”

“So, I’ll pick you up at 8. We’re set. Now, focus on the meeting and don’t forget to eat, alright?”

“Alright.”

[ripplestitchskein]

To be a bit clearer about my issue with the tweet that I talked about in this post as I was posting in the car on the way home (I was not driving but had to do it fast because I get super motion sick) and have had some time to expand a bit:

If we’re talking about the general concept “Stolas set the parameters of the initial sexual transaction thus rooting their relationship in sex from the start and because Blitz is too self loathing and willfully blind to see the desired parameters have changed it is Stolas who made their relationship all about sex in large part because Blitz was never going to be in a healthy enough space to be the one to change it” then yes I agree with the sentiment.

Stolas could have simply said “I’ll let you use the grimoire in exchange for a date” instead of jumping straight to sexual relationship and they could have gotten to know each other first, maybe one date for each Full Moon*. So yes, he did make it this way, he set the terms. At the start of the show.

(*Side note: This would be a super cute fanfic premise tbh and if the show did something like that, where they need to exchange something and say “Hey, how about we make a deal to go on a date on the Full Moon” it would be a really fucking adorable way to reconcile them *starry eyes*. Just think about how much that would slap. The narrative circle of that would be *chef’s kiss*. )

My problem with the framing of “Stolas started it that way in Murder Family, was super over the top horny for a few episodes, now he must suffer the consequences despite the fact that he has been trying to change their dynamic since Blitz expressed how he felt in Ozzie’s” is that, the events of The Circus completely recontextualize the deal we see made and Stolas’s behavior.

We, the audience, didn’t know in S1 that Blitz initiated the whole thing and that Stolas was just mirroring that energy, so I am extremely understanding of this perception pre-S2. Even up until Western Energy, but by Oops we have enough evidence to show Stolas has been trying, Blitz is just refusing. So Stolas didn’t “make it this way” for where the characters are NOW. Not in a “It is Blitz’s fault” taking sides in the divorce way, but in a “This is about character growth or the deliberate lack of it within the story” way.

My big issue with the tweet now, and didn’t learn until I read the tags of a lovely person is that is apparently from an individual who actually works on the show. And that is….kinda concerning to me. A bit.

The idea that Stolas’s efforts count for nothing because he set the initial deal and behaved badly at the start, that we the audience should still see the current dynamic as “Stolas making everything sexual” is a problem 8 episodes into the 2nd season. We have many examples of him not doing that any longer, he has changed, we the audience have been shown that change. Why is it still being framed this way by the actual creative team?

I don’t know how animation production works, so I’m not sure if the people who work as animators are given the whole picture or not. I don’t even know they are fans necessarily, or if they get their individual parts to work on and that’s it. I have zero background info on how these meetings are conducted. I am not coming from a position of authority in this regard.

Setting aside the dismissal of Stolas’s character growth this season. framing it this way undermines the journey Blitz is on too. At this point in the story he is refusing to acknowledge Stolas’s earnest attempts, his willful ignorance is not a funny gag but a reflection of his character and state of mind. It is implied his own trauma and self loathing make him unable to believe what has being explicitly told to him. This confrontation is the tipping point for further development in one direction or another. His choice now is to continue to ignore it and lose Stolas entirely or to try and work through it in some way. By implying Stolas is the one who created thier current situation way back in S1 implies Blitz’s ignorance of Stolas’s feelings is not because of character’s motivations and his own choices to ignore it but simply because it was that way at the start and it is immutable. Stolas said “sex for book please” and “jelly sandwiches” and Blitz was just “I’m just doing what he said he wanted, now he’s coming out of nowhere with this feelings stuff” when a huge part of showing the audience that it is Blitz’s self loathing driving the conflicts in his life is that he refuses to believe the truth of the situation which is it wasn’t Stolas making it all about sex at all. That Stolas has been trying and Blitz keeps shutting it down because of his issues.

That just seems like a crucial part of what we’re doing here? Yes Stolas creates the situation in S1 but he went out of his way to do the opposite in S2.

Obviously this individual’s qualifications for interpretation, being an actual employee, trump my “I’ve watched it a bunch and obsess over it constantly” credentials by a long shot. But my concern is to have a meeting of people responsible for creating the show reflect this sentiment after what we’ve seen in S2 so far is just a little baffling to me?

Either those attempts by Stolas portrayed on screen and the change in his behavior towards Blitz after he realizes his feelings are meaningless in the face of first impressions being everything to both Blitz and the audience. If that is the case I’m not sure why they would be included if the end result interpretation is still “Stolas horny. Made it all about sex. The end.”

Or, I am misreading something, either the tweet itself or the canon text. This is very possible, tweets being an imperfect communication tool and myself being an imperfect person. But as I stated in the original post, if we’re accounting for what is shown on screen as being how we should interpret the characters, Stolas has been trying for months to shift gears and Blitz is the one who continues to frame it as “just sex”. So I just find the tweet completely out of touch with the narrative we’re consuming.

[ravennaortiz]

This is part of the Choose Your Own Adventure: Birthday Edition. As Always 18+ Smut below the cut.

“You look beautiful Corazon” stated Coco as he let go of your hand to rest it on your left thigh. “Thank you” you murmured as you felt his fingers start to inch up towards the hem of your dress before moving towards your inner thigh. Instinctively you parted your legs making him smirk and chuckle. “Eager for someone you is going to be denied orgasms all night” stated Coco keeping his eyes on the road as he stroked you through your panties. A small wet spot already forming.

“All night?” you pouted as you moved to get more contact. “You didn’t think I was going to go easy on you just because it was your birthday did you?” inquired Coco as he pushed his fingers under your panties. Circling your clit before pinching it gently and rolling it between his thumb and index finger. You let out a moan as your body vibrated with lust.

By the time Coco pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant he had brought you to the edge and denied you three times. Your body vibrated with the need for release. Your mind was foggy with lust and thighs sticky with your own arousal. “Best dessert ever” murmured Coco as he licked his fingers clean making you whine. “Lose the panties. They are too wet for you to be wearing all night” stated Coco as he got out of the car. “Besides, they will just be in my way while we eat” he added with a mischievous look.

Coco kept a tight hold of your waist as the waiter walked you to your table. Rubbing his thumb in a circular pattern that only made you want more. But you were in a bust restaurant….surely he wouldn’t here. You thought to yourself as you took your seat. Instead of sitting across from you he sat next to you. Patting your thigh as he told the waiter to bring out a bottle of champagne. By the time the waiter returned and was pouring your glass Coco had two fingers working in and out of you. You clamped your thighs trying to make him stop but he was not having it.

“Everything okay?” inquired your waiter noting your white knuckle grip on the table and panting breaths. “She’s just excited for her drink and birthday” stated Coco trying not to laugh at how undone you were. “Right love?” added Coco raising a brow at you.

“Ye…yes! So Excited” you sputtered louder than intended as Coco curled his fingers and pushed up into that spongy sweet spot inside of you. Your vision blurred as you started to teeter on the brink again. You were brought back when Coco quickly removed his fingers from your body before telling the waiter what the two of you would be having. Once your orders were placed Coco handed you your glass and you sipped. Letting the coolness soak into your heated body.

“What would you do if I slid under this table?” asked Coco as he pulled you closer to him. “Don’t you dare” you stated as you buried your head in his side. Coco chuckled as he kissed your forehead. “We would be kicked out of this place so fast. You can’t not be screaming like I’m performing an exorcism or some shit” he stated making your laugh. “I’ ve always told you , that you were the devil” you whispered as you felt his fingers moving back to your thigh.

“Well, you’re gonna love this next move. Going to be full” murmured Coco as he moved his arm from around you and to his lap. You heard the sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor and zipper before he was pulling you onto his lap. You gasped as he easily slipped inside you from how soaked you were.  “Shh” scolded Coco before thrusting up into you as his fingers moved to your clit. “Coco” you whimper louder than you meant, head lolling back onto his shoulder, drawing some attention to your table. “Chill” Coco whispered his breath hot on your ear as he pinches your swollen clit hard making you clamp down around his hard length. Coco keeps up his ministration until your body is milking his length of his seed right as the waiter brings your food to the table.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you come once I’m done playing” assured Coco as he slid you off him. You moaned at the loss of him as his release dripped down your thighs with your arousal.

Return to Masterlist

[din-miller]

To Be Without You

Pairing: Din Djarin x Gn!Reader

Word count: 715

Summary: Comfortember day twelve – dreams

Warnings: nightmares, mention of child death, hurt/comfort

A/N: you can’t get Comfortember without pain. That’s my justification for this. Also this is a day late by 13 minutes and that’s because I spent the usual three hours trying to name this shit.

You’ve been here before, on this desert wasteland, air dry and lungs full of sand, but it wasn’t like this last time. You weren’t staring down at the broken bodies of your husband and son.

No, they didn’t die then, before, you had saved them. So why are you screaming for them to wake up? Begging for them to open their eyes, pleading with the Maker to take you instead.

No, they hadn’t died that day.

So why does this feel so real?

Then, after a heartbeat, Din’s yelling your name but his lips are closed and cold. Blue like the beach you got married on.

The yelling became louder, more persistent, more determined and you closed your eyes, letting your mind focus on the words circling the air around you.

Arms wrapped around you, strong and unwavering and you don’t understand how you’re being comforted when there’s no one around you.

The arms tighten and your eyes fly open, four walls surrounding you; a soft white, nothing like the red specks across the desert sand.

“Cyar’ika you need to breathe.”

It’s Din again. His lips are open as words flow out of them, mute to your ears but they look nothing like the cold ones burned on the back of your eyelids for decades to come.

But look is not enough, no you need to feel the warmth. Which is what you do, the desperate reassurance has Din gasping in surprise, body flying back onto the bed and you wasted no time crawling on top of him.

He lets you lead the kiss, understanding that you need this. You let the anguish inside you bleed into his mouth, letting it mix with the love he’s pouring into you.

It’s enough.

Din pulled back but the warmth of him never left as his forehead touched yours, “We’re all okay. Whatever you saw, we’ll get through it I promise.”

You believe him. This isn’t the first time you’ve had this dream and you know it won’t be the last. You fold yourself against his chest, matching the slow breathing pace he’s set for you. In and out, in and out, once more before a horror creeps up your body and settles in your mind, stealing all the air in your lungs, “Where’s Grogu?!”

“In his room,” Din sweeps his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the tears you don’t remember letting fall, “I’ll bring him to sleep with us once you calm down.”

“No, no I need to see him now!”

Din sighed but didn't try to put up a fight with you. He’d lose and you both know it. He kept you tucked against his chest as he sat both of you up, “Do you want to bring him in here or should I set up the pull out couch in his room?”

His arms don’t let go of you as you leave the bed and mumble into his shirt, “His room. I don’t think I can sleep in our bed right now, it’s too much.”

“Okay, I’ll set up the futon for us.” Din said softly, guiding you to your son's room.

You don’t fight off his hands but you do shake your head, “You should go back to our bed. It’s better for your back.”

Din huffed, almost offended, “I’m not leaving you.”

You’re first to enter Grogu’s room, needing so desperately to see him alive, unharmed. You crouched down beside his bed, careful not to wake him as Din started setting up the futon for the night.

“Hey,” Din whispered, hand landing on your shoulder, thumb brushing back and forth in a soothing motion, “The beds set up.”

“He’s so tiny,” You whispered back, tears building back up but you won’t allow them to fall, “I always forget how tiny he actually is.”

“Knowing our little guy he’s probably bigger than most kids his age,” Din pressed a kiss to his tiny green head and then did the same to yours, “You need to sleep, cyar’ika.”

His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you to the bed as he held you protectively against his chest, letting you breathe in the scent of his person and the soft chamomile that fills Grogu’s room.

“Don’t let go?” You asked.

“Never.” He promised.

[abiiors]

for small blurbs if u don’t mind anythinggg with george and bbf!reader i am truly obsessed xx

thanks for requesting bbf!george, i love him sm <33 since i mentioned aftercare at the end of truth or dare, that’s the blurb i’ll do hehe.

some allusions to smut, so minors dni!!

the first thing you realise is that you wake up in someone’s embrace. the second thing you realise is that someone is george. 

george. in your bed. naked.

not like you’re clothed either. and yet you lift up the blanket just to double check. yep, absolutely stark naked. you quickly close your eyes again, remembering the events of last night, the game of truth or dare, you challenging george. the kiss. and what followed after. 

almost as if on cue, your body makes you aware of the stinging sensation between your thighs, the soreness you feel in the lower half of your body. you try to get up and george’s hold on you tightens. 

in the light of the morning, he looks different. or rather it’s the fact that you’ve never seen him sleeping before. his face is soft, his messy, bleached hair fall on his forehead, all while his lips are parted. george breathes evenly—still asleep. so you turn to properly face him, losing yourself in the moment, in the thoughts of last night. 

absently you trace a finger on the bridge of his nose, straight down to trace it along his cupids bow and then his bottom lip before moving it up along his jawline. he’s so beautiful. so perfect.  

when you look down at yourself, you find a tattooed arm circling your waist as george snuggles more into you. 

“you’re staring,” he speaks suddenly, startling you. “good morning, sweetheart,” george smiles, a mischievous, sleepy grin that instantly brightens his face even when his eyes are closed. 

and if you thought his regular voice was hot, his morning voice has all sorts of butterflies swarming in your belly. it’s deeper than usual and scratchy from disuse. it’s all around you just like his scent is. just like he is. 

“only because you were drooling on my pillow,” you retort, trying to hide the heat creeping up your face. this was just a one night stand. no need to read too much into it. 

“sureee,” he drawls and opens his eyes. they are soft and full of light.

george stares at you unabashedly, assessing your face for something—what that is, you haven’t figured out yet but before you have the chance to ask, george speaks again. 

“how do you feel? any pain? discomfort?” 

you try to move around a little to assess the situation, hissing a bit at the discomfort. “a little,” you respond, “but not too bad. i’ll live.”

at that he rolls his eyes. “don’t sass me, healy. what kind of a man would i be if i didn’t take care of you after your first time?” 

you sputter out a response, a very clever “uh-huh”. you hate to admit it, but hearing him talk about sex—especially about sex with you—feels disarming. and then there’s the matter of the crush. 

something you still haven’t admitted to him. and you know it’s a bad idea, to pretend you’re only interested in sex when you actually have feelings for him but the thought of pursuing a proper relationship with him feels like a weight on your shoulders. 

not now. now isn’t the time. 

“what’s going on in there?” george interrupts your tiny spiral, tapping your forehead before he sits up properly. 

the blanket falls off him, landing around his hips and giving you a clear view of his chest—the clusters of freckles all over his shoulders, the thin dusting of hair on his chest, leading down to his stomach, the v of his abdomen, until it disappears under the blanket. just like the thoughts in your head 

“nothing,” you reply hastily, trying to hide your flaming face.

“you are so cute when you blush,” he teases, leaning in before capturing you mouth in an unexpected kiss. sweet, soft, full of something you can’t—won’t—put a name to. it makes the face-flaming situation ten times worse. 

when he pulls back, laughing again, you bury your face into the pillow—half out of mortification and half so he could get dressed in peace. there’s no way you can handle seeing him naked right now without wanting to jump his bones again. and something about the pain and discomfort makes it abundantly clear that you’re not ready for round two just yet. 

george clears his throat once he’s done and tosses your clothes onto the bed. “gotta use the loo,” he announces. privacy for you to get dressed. 

coincidentally, his cheeks also look pink. 

when george comes back, you’re sitting on the bed, fully dressed and massaging your stomach a little. the pain is already ebbing away but you imagine it would take a bit. 

“let’s get breakfast,” he propositions and you stare at him with slight disbelief. 

“yeah sure george, let’s walk out of the house hand in hand. let’s discuss last night with friends too, while we’re at it…”

george rolls his eyes. “alright, smartarse. i was going to suggest we sneak out the window. wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

that does make you giggle. it certainly wouldn’t be the first time and the thought fills you up with warmth. 

“yeah fine, danes. okay. but if i fall…”

“yeah, yeah, yeah, i know,” he finishes, then places a hand over his heart. “wouldn’t let you get hurt, sweetheart. ever.” 

[yourstrulyrika]

hey there !! sorry for my absence but health problems… i’ll probably need the surgery faster than expected and yeah :( hurts a lot. i’ll try to write though.

today’s smut is jill x fem reader ♡ random thing but whenever i think of jill, heavy metal lover by lady gaga plays in my head.

decided to do a guided masturbation. like jill helping you masturbate bc jill <3 love her sm

no warnings, fem!reader as always, dom!jill, use of toys, jill’s a tease, think that’s all! ♡ reader is implied to be shy but she doesn’t speak. i don’t like including dialogues for reader.

this is me. this is who’s writing all of this filth. face reveal /j

this one’s gonna be a bit short, sorry everyone. need to get back into the rhythm of writing once every two days or something. still, wanna write things before/during valentine’s

Jill is a girlfriend material. literally all you could ask for; protective, loving. her love is gentle, despite seeming rough sometimes. despite that, she likes to tease you from time to time. you’re just too cute. the way you flutter your eyes, try to get closer to her, touch her, but you never seem to find a way. you give hints, and she has to pick up on them. but that’s okay, she thinks it’s sweet, really.

that doesn’t stop her from trying to get you out of your shell. she started giving hints, too, but never actually initiating a thing. your surprise makes her chuckle. so sweet, truly. she’s touching you, gripping your thigh, but never doing more than that. and it worked, rather quick.

in a couple of days, maybe a week or so, she managed to get you to ask her to help you touch yourself because Jill touches you the way you see stars. you don’t know how she’s doing that, or at least, not like Jill. it’s as if your body is unable to get off if it’s not Jill.

but, this is exactly what Jill wanted. for you to come to her, with that quiet voice of yours, begging for her strap to fuck you into oblivion like she always does. however, that’s not what’s happening today.

“My princess needs help huh? C’here,”

she puts you on her lap, but instead of putting a strap right into your snug walls, she shoves it into your mouth, making you suck on it. you gag and whine a bit but you love it, and she likes soothing your oral fixation. she can feel you already soaking, and she just has to press a kiss to the top of your cute head.

“That cunt’s begging for me, huh? Cute little thing.” she whispers it right into your ear, placing a hand on your clothed pussy, throwing the panties off, somewhere to the side, already circling your clit. you look so pretty with mouth full of silicone cock, makes her horny as hell. she teases you, pushing the tips of her fingers into your hole, before instantly pulling out, smirking as she sees the shift of your hips. you’re desperate, she knows. her poor girl, so wet for her.

she reaches out to pull out a magic wand, pressing it against your clit, grinning as you clench around nothing. Jill lives for your reactions. she cups your breast, sucking on it while playing with the other breast. she makes sure you keep sucking the strap, while playing with your sweet little cunt until it’s weeping for release.

still, she wanted to make you beg for it. when she feels you’re close, she suddenly pulls away, making you mewl and whine out at the loss of the stimulation.

“What’s up, baby? Can’t hear you when you’re so quiet.” obviously you’re not quiet, but you know what she means — beg for it. she really just wants you to get you out of your shell. you get the hint, and although you can’t find good words, you slur out a mess of words filled with want about how much you want her to continue.

“Good girl, such a good girl.” she responds, staring at you with so much appreciation. slow, but steady, right? next time she’s gonna make you talk more, that’s for sure. noticing you’re getting flustered, she chuckles, restoring her movements and making you lose your mind again. it wouldn’t feel good if it wasn’t Jill touching you — she just makes everything magical, in some way. it feels overwhelming, but you want more— it just feels too good, the way Jill’s playing with your tits, pressing the wand in all the right places. you just can’t help but buck your hips, cumming all over with a loud whine.

satisfied, Jill decides to give you some peace from stimulation, for now. still, she lays down with you, patting her thigh, muttering words, using just the right tone to make your head cloudy,

“Surely you won’t leave me all soaking right?”

[justiceleaque]

i've been meaning to comment on the DCEU for a long time now but always held back in hopes i wouldn't need to because something might change. for full transparency, this comes from someone who hasn't been able to fully involve myself with anything relating to comics for quite a few years now so what i say isn't worth taking to heart. but i was here when they launched the first movie, i was here when people were losing their minds at the hints of something more in the second movie, i was front row and center making content for the following few movies when everything came together and we finally got the big three on the screen

here's the thing and i'll keep it short: i loved snyder's vision and there were many who didn't. and from day one, i was fine with people not enjoying the movies because everyone has a different experience with the source material. i had made the prediction that after justice league, people would return to batman v. superman, to man of steel, and suddenly find it an enjoyable, full-circle trilogy; i made jokes when the exact thing happened because it was stupid and ridiculous and, at the end of the day, predictably funny. it didn’t ultimately matter to me because i genuinely enjoyed what i got and was happy to have more people on board. the bigger the party the bigger the snacks, baebey!!!!!!!!!!!

and then, i started losing steam. WB didn’t know what they wanted to do. they chose to listen to the part of the audience that was dissatisfied and often asked for more marvel-like works, which is not something i agreed with ✨but!✨ had they decided to actually change sails completely, to move towards that particular horizon wholly, i would’ve had more respect for the overall direction of the universe and likely stuck with it

the chopping and restitching and smashing of everything together until something hopefully comes out and then groaning when it doesn’t but maybe it did but oh boy who cooked it this way oopsie oh well hehe hihi was, and is to this day, nauseating to see. in its literal definition. it gives me vertigo every time i see another article about WB moving to a different direction with its DC movies. the enjoyable films that have come out since lose their charm the moment i realize they’ll either be ignored, retconned, or straight up misremembered in their own future material because there’s no unified vision. the big boss doesn’t know where he’s going so we’re forced to make multiple pit stops for gas without being allowed any coke zero, a bottle of pepsi max, a single bubblegum packet. spare some change, you little bitch

not even touching certain, uh, problems with actors involved because even with an immaculate roster none of this could’ve prevented me from silently dropping out when, at the end of the pitiful day, there’s no DCEU. what’s extended about this universe? my patience is

[lyranova]

Yuneva Little Mermaid AU, for you 💚

Hiya Little fan 🥰! Of course, and I actually started working on this the moment it showed up in my askbox abwjwjs. This is actually the second fic I wrote with this AU in mind, the first one actually came out as more of a first chapter to a series and is at 4.8k words sooo…that one I’ll have to post seperately 🤭. But I hope you enjoy~!

Word Count: 2,336

Warnings: Vague reference to how different humans and merpeoples anatomies are 😅?

————

Neva gasped as she raised her head above the water and looked around wildly. She wasn’t in the Sea Witch’s cave anymore; instead she seemed to be on some sort of beach…

“ Isn’t this… the beach that Prince Yuno comes to?” She wondered as she took in the sights, smells, and sand beneath her fingers and toes.

Wait, toes?

Neva blinked and suddenly looked down; instead of seeing her purple tail, she saw a pair of human legs.

It worked…it really worked!

“ I can’t believe it, I’m a human!” Neva thought in excitement as a smile appeared on her face. “ I have toes, feet, ankles, legs, thighs…I’m really a human!”

She had to admit; there was a part of her that had thought that the Sea Witch, Vanica, was full of it when she told her that she could turn her into a human. But as she wiggled her toes and raised her leg, she realized how wrong she was!

“ Oh my, what do we have here?” A voice called from above, causing Neva to look up.

Circling above her was a seagull, who also happened to be a friend of hers, named David. The young bird flew down towards her and landed on her knees.

“ Well if it isn’t the diamond of the sea, Princess Neva!” David said cheerfully as he looked at the young woman.

“ Hm, something seems different about you,” David muttered as he stared at her, a hand rubbing his chin as he thought about it. “ But what could it be? Your hair? Nah. Your…teeth? Nope that’s not it either.”

Klaus sighed in irritation, and he couldn’t stop himself from facepalming.

“ Legs. The girl has legs, you idiot!” Klaus shouted. “ Neva traded her voice to the Sea Witch for a chance to become human!”

“ Ooh, that’s what’s different!” David said as he looked down and noticed Neva’s legs that he was perched on. “ They look great on you kid!”

Klaus grabbed a stone and threw it at the bird, effectively hitting him on the back of the head.

“ What did you do that for?!”

“ Because apparently you don’t understand how dire this situation is!” Klaus said seriously as he glared at the bird. “ Neva sold her voice to the Sea Witch, and now she has three months to get the Prince to fall in love with her in order to keep her legs!”

“ What’ll happen to her if she fails?” David asked hesitantly.

“ If she fails, she’ll be turned back into a mermaid and she’ll lose her voice forever!”

David gasped at the crabs words.

“ Oh this is bad.”

“ You think?!”

As the crab and the seagull bickered, Neva rolled her eyes and shook her head; this wasn’t really the time or place for this. But what could she do? She couldn’t tell them to stop since her voice was gone.

“ Maybe I should try to stand up?” She thought with a small frown. She placed her hands at her sides, pushed up and off the ground.

Her legs began to quiver, and she began to wobble one way and then another as she tried to walk. Eventually she reached out and braced herself on a nearby boulder, a huff of annoyance escaping her as she glared down at her trembling legs.

Walking was a lot harder than she initially thought!

“ First things first; we need to find the Princess some clothes! Because if she tries to meet the prince looking like this, then I’m pretty sure she’ll end up spending the next three months behind bars for indecent exposure!” Klaus said quickly as he averted his gaze, Neva looked down.

Ah that was right, humans and merpeople were anatomically different; at least when it came to their reproductive organs. A mermaids was hidden by their tails, while a human had to cover theirs up with what Klaus called ‘clothing’.

“ Pfft that won’t be a problem! Just give me a few minutes and I’ll find the best dress in this entire kingdom for our Neva!” David said quickly before flying away towards the kingdom, Klaus sighed heavily and shook his head.

“ I have a bad feeling about this.”

———

A few minutes later

“ Well, what do you think? It’s pretty nice right?” David asked with a proud smile. Klaus groaned and once again facepalmed.

‘Nice’ wouldn’t be the word Neva would use to describe this…dress?

It was a loose, purple colored fabric that was wrapped awkwardly around her with white rope tied around it in order to keep it from slipping off.

This…this wasn’t like the beautiful dresses that she had seen other humans wear…

“ What do you think?” Her purple eyes asked Klaus hesitantly, but he just shook his head.

“ It’s not the best, but it’ll have to do for now,” He said in dismay. Neva felt her shoulders slump slightly in disappointment.

Would the Prince feel the same way once he saw her?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the beach, was Prince Yuno and his loyal sheepdog Belle. The two were running around playing as they normally did, when she suddenly stopped.

“ Belle, what is it?” He asked with a frown as he began walking over to her. “ Did you hear something?”

But before Yuno could reach her, Belle turned around and began to run quickly down the beach. The young man cursed under his breath before he ran after her.

Back behind the boulders; Neva, Klaus, and David were all discussing where to find Prince Yuno, and how to approach him, when suddenly a flash of gold flew around the boulder and looked at them.

Everyone stopped moving for a moment and just stared at each other to see who was going to make the first move; when the creature suddenly took a deep breath and rushed towards the trio.

“ Neva, run!” Klaus shouted as he ran off towards the ocean and David flew up into the sky.

Neva quickly looked around for something, anything, to hide behind or to use to get away from this creature. But the only thing there was an elevated stone that sat in the middle of this small beach.

It would have to do!

She quickly ran towards it with the creature close behind her. Neva ran around, and around, and around the stone a few times before finally managing to climb on top of the stone. A sigh of relief escaped her as she stared at the disappointed animal.

“ If I didn’t have these legs, I probably would have been caught by this animal. Legs really are convenient!” Neva thought with a small smile.

As she looked at the animal, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking how cute it was! It had long, golden hair and green eyes that stared at her with a perplexed look. But as Neva looked at it more, she noticed the dog looked very familiar…and after a moment she gasped.

This animal belonged to-!

“ Belle, there you are!” Prince Yuno exclaimed, his golden colored eyes narrowed and a stern expression appeared on his face.

So, this animal was called Belle? Interesting.

Yuno’s eyes traveled from Belle to what she was barking at and his eyes widened and his brows raised slightly in surprise.

Sitting on the rock, looking just as surprised to see him as he was surprised to see her, was a young woman.

“ Oh…hello,” He muttered softly as he stared at her.

The woman with platinum blonde hair, and bright purple eyes, nodded in greeting.

Yuno tilted his head a bit; this girl, why did she look so familiar? As he opened his mouth to ask, Belle suddenly barked at the woman.

“ Oh, I’m sorry,” Yuno apologized as he rushed over to grab Belle. “ She’s not normally like this, she’s usually a good dog.”

Neva tilted her head, so this was a dog in the human world? Huh. She thought they would look closer to the ones they had in Atlantica.

“ Are you hurt?” He asked after he calmed Belle down, his eyes quickly giving her a small once over as she quickly shook her head. He softly sighed in relief, the last thing he wanted was for Belle to get in trouble for accidentally hurting someone…

“ Have…we met before? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before.” He asked her softly, his brow furrowing in thought as he tried to rack his brain.

“ He remembers me?” Neva thought in surprise as her eyes widened. “ I…can’t believe it. I thought he would have forgotten by now since it’s been weeks since that day. But if he truly remembers me then this might be a little easier than I thought!”

With that thought in mind, she nodded eagerly at his question. Yuno’s eyes widened and a soft gasp escaped him.

“ Are you…are you the angel that saved me?” Yuno asked, and Neva blinked in surprise.

The angel?

As he realized what he had said, Yuno’s face turned a bright shade of pink and he averted his gaze as a hand reached up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment.

“ I-I mean; are you the woman who saved me after the shipwreck a few weeks ago?” He corrected himself after quietly clearing his throat. Neva bit her bottom lip in order to suppress a giggle that bubbled in her throat.

He looked…really different when he was embarrassed. He always looked so serious whenever she saw him, or he would have a cool, aloof aura about him. But right now he looked like a normal twenty year old man who had accidentally said something embarrassing in front of a stranger.

“ So I was right; there is more to him than meets the eye,” Neva thought softly as she stared at the embarrassed young man in front of her.

“ I…want to see this side of him more.”

Neva once again nodded, confirming Yuno’s suspicion that she was the one who saved him.

“ I thought so,” He said with a small grin. “ I’ve been looking for you.”

“ He’s been looking for me?” Neva’s brows raised and her lips parted in surprise.

“ I wanted to meet you, and thank you for saving me that day,” He explained as he moved closer to her. “ Can you tell me your name?”

Neva opened her mouth and told him her name; but nothing came out.

Her eyes widened and her hands immediately went to her throat. For a moment, she had completely forgotten that she no longer had a voice, and now that remembered her heart sank into the pit of her stomach.

Yuno’s brows furrowed in confusion and in slight concern.

“ What's wrong? Did something happen to your voice?” He asked, and she nodded a bit before tapping her throat with her hands and made an X shape with her hands.

“ You…don’t have a voice?” He asked, and she nodded.

The grin slipped from Yuno’s face and a disappointed look appeared in his amber eyes, and that only made Neva’s heart sink further.

“ Then, there’s no way you could be the woman that saved me,” He muttered softly as his gaze moved from her and towards the ocean. Neva frowned for a moment before she realized why he was saying that; she had sung to him that day, and that was probably what he remembered most.

The two sat in an awkward silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Yuno glanced at the mysterious woman for a moment before his gaze shifted across the area; it wouldn’t be right for him to leave her all alone out here, especially after learning that she didn’t have a voice. But there was another reason why he didn’t want to leave her here:

For a reason unbeknownst to him, he felt drawn to this woman even though she wasn’t the one that saved him, and because of that…he wanted to get to know her more.

So, he held out a hand towards her.

“ You can’t stay out here by yourself,” Yuno told her softly as a confused look crossed her face. “ So, I think you should come back to the castle with me. That way you can get checked out by the doctors, and then…you can tell me your name.” He added as his gaze once again moved away from her.

Neva stared at his hand for a moment, he wanted her to come back with him? Then, did that mean he wanted to get to know her too? Or, was it just because he was concerned about her safety?

Either way, this was a good thing right? This meant she could spend more time with him, and maybe get him to fall in love with her…

She reached out and took his hand. He helped her off the rock, and when she tried to stand again, her legs began to shake before collapsing beneath her weight.

“ Hey! You okay?” Yuno exclaimed as he quickly caught her and pulled her close in order to keep her from falling.

The pair's eyes widened and their faces turned bright red. Neva’s hands gripped his shirt tightly, and Yuno’s arms were wrapped around her waist securely. The closeness of their bodies didn’t go unnoticed by either of them; and it only made their faces turn even more red, and their hearts to quicken.

“ Let’s…get you back to the castle,” Yuno muttered softly, clearing his throat but keeping his arms around her. “ Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall. So just lean against me.” He added, his voice still soft but holding a serious edge to it. Neva’s heart skipped a beat for a moment before she nodded in agreement.

As they, along with Belle, began to make their way back to the castle. Neva glanced over her shoulder at Klaus and David, giving them a sheepish look and a small shrug.

This hadn’t been quite the meeting any of them had anticipated, but it worked. Now she just had three months to get Prince Yuno to fall in love with her.

No pressure, right?

————

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[marixrose]

Levi Ackerman ; Stargazing

Lately I’ve been stressed out. It seems like every time I take a breath I lose another person I care about.

Back to back we go into battle without a plan, and the price is the lives of those dear to me. I don’t know how many more deaths it's going to take for me to break.

The only thing keeping me going is Levi’s promise to me.

“Once this is all over I promise I’m going to marry you.”

I smile slightly to myself as I glance at Levi who is a few horses in front of mine. We’re currently riding to wall Maria to take it back. I would be lying if I said I think we’ll be successful. I think we’re relying on Eren too much, at any minute he could switch sides.

I push all those thoughts out of my mind as I focus on not falling off my horse. The lack of sleep I’ve had is catching up to me, always at the worst times.

I look around at my comrades and see that we’re all in the same boat. Half awake and hungry. As if reading my mind Erwin says, “Alright, let's take a break. You all look half alive and I need you at your best for what to come.”

I almost sigh with relief as we find a group of houses that haven’t been destroyed. We’re in luck.

We all get off our horses and tie them so they don’t run away. Erwin splits us up into different groups. One to get firewood, one to search the houses for food, and another to keep a lookout.

I just happened to be in the group that looks for food while Levi was put in charge of the group for lookout.

I entered the first house with one of my best friends, Connie. He looks like he is about to fall over any second.

“Hey, are you alright?” I asked him.

“Yeah I guess so.” He whispered back.

I nodded and started looking.

We managed to find some meat and rice, and after meeting up with the other scouts the amount of food we found doubled. It wasn’t going to be enough for us to have a full meal but it was enough for us to have something.

After we finished cooking some of the food with a fire, Erwin called the lookouts to come and join us. We all sat down in a circle to enjoy our food.

While we were all eating Erwin went on a whole speech, which half of us ignored. I couldn’t help but notice Levi kept glazing at me from across the group.

I wonder what’s on his mind.

After we all finished eating we were split into two groups, lookouts and the ones who would sleep. We would switch halfway through the night. I just so happened to be unlucky and be put on lookouts first.

I almost argued but accepted my fate.

My group and I used our ODM gear and got on top of the houses to get a better view of things.

There were two to a house, and Connie also happened to be assigned the lookouts first.

“Our good luck has run out, hasn’t it?” Connie said, laughing.

“You look better after eating something, I'm glad to see it.” I said, giggling.

Me and Connie grew up together, we have been by each other's sides since day one. A lot of people confuse us as a couple.

I see Connie as a brother, and it makes me feel awkward when people think anything other than that.

We continued talking until we heard ODM being used. We looked to see who it was, and it turned out to be Levi.

“You can leave Connie, I’ll stay with Y/n and look out.” Levi said as he walked towards us.

This will be the first time me and Levi and I will have time alone since before we set out for our mission.

Connie nods and leaves.

“How are you doing?” Levi asks me.

“Fine I guess, and you?”

“Like shit. This whole mission is going to go to hell and there is nothing we can say to stop Erwin from leading us all to our deaths.”

I kept quiet, because I knew he was right.

He looks over at me and he sighs.

“I love you, you know that?” He whispers, still looking in my direction.

I meet his eyes, “I know. I love you.”

I hated saying ‘I love you too’ because the ‘too’ made it seem like it was just you returning the feeling out of obligation but never actually meaning it. So I just say ‘I love you’, I feel it means more that way.

He smiled slightly and looked up to the sky, “I never knew how beautiful the stars were.”

He kept staring at the sky as I watched him, the way the light of the universe reflecting off his face made him look surreal.

I slowly tear my gaze away from him to look at the sky, “Yeah they sure are beautiful.”

We stood there both looking up at the sky, neither of us knowing what tomorrow brings, just enjoying each other's company.

[musewritingsforyou]

The Void

Summary: y/n’s stress takes on new life as the pack looks for answers

Warnings: talk of death, lack of sleep, swearing

word count: 3.7 k

_______________________________

Episode One: Part two 

Stiles POV

After school that day we all went our separate ways, me and Allison and Scott promising y/n and Lydia that we wouldn't kill ourselves, or anyone else. Allison and Lydia went to the woods, something about target practice that I hear went horribly, especially when Scott found out Issac was in the woods with them. y/n went back to her house to shower and study, informing me that she would be over at my house by seven to force me to study, make dinner for me and my dad and go to sleep. “I'll be there at seven, oh and make sure you have plenty of eggs, you know how I like to stress bake.”

I dropped y/n/n off at her house and then drove over to the police station, stopping by a florist on the way. Every once in a while dad and I like to get flowers for mom's grave. Most of the time they wilt or get stolen, but as he reminded me when I popped into his office, “it's the gesture that counts”. I was only in his office for a few minutes before I left, but the piles and piles of files stacked higher than his desk from the floor worried me. At seven sharp I heard a knock on my door- bedroom, not front of the house- and opened it to find my girlfriend standing there holding a tray of cupcakes and her bag on her shoulder. 

“You were only home for like two hours, how did you-”

“You'd be surprised how productive I can be when I'm worried out of my mind.” I laughed and took the tray from her, opening my door wider so that she could walk in beside me.

“I'm going to put these downstairs where my dad will see them. Oh and, I need to talk to you about something” I knew I messed up my wording the second it came out of my mouth. Her eyes practically bulged out of her head.

“Not what I meant, not what I meant! I just- oh god what have I done. I mean about my dad! Okay I'm putting these downstairs, just try not to stress organize my entire room while I'm gone, would you?” I ran down the stairs as fast as I could while holding a full tray of cupcakes and when I got back I found her standing by my desk moving the crime/supernatural photos off of it and placing my textbooks there instead. When she heard me enter the room she turned around sheepishly.

“What did I tell you, productivity.”

I placed my hands on her shoulders and dragged her away from my desk, sitting her at the edge of my messily made bed and then moving to close the door with my foot. 

“So what did you-”

“I think my dad is about to be fired by Scotts dad and I want to be mad and Scott because his dad is doing this but I know that Scott didn't know anything about it and is just as angry as I am and I think my dad also might be really depressed because he has stacks and stacks-”

“Okay, okay. Just sit down and take a breath, please. I swear you were talking so fast you made me lose my breath in sympathy.”

She patted the bed next to her and I sat down. I rubbed my hands together and stared at the floor until she placed a hand on my leg and one on my back, rubbing small circles into it.

“Okay, start at the beginning, what's going on?”

As I told her the whole story she kept any emotion but kindness from her face. No anxiety about me or the pack, no school night panic, no sarcastic eye roll, just pure understanding. She knows what it's like to be exhausted. She knows how when you're tired every little problem turns into a godzilla sized issue. How suddenly you go from a calm, competent human being to a jumbled jumpy mess. And I was both tired, and a jumpy mess. 

“You're right, it sucks. But there's nothing that you and I can do anything about right this second. So, right now what I need to do is make dinner, and what you need to do is take a nap.”

I chuckled and rubbed a hand over my eyebrows. 

“Dinner sounds nice.”

“Stiles, you need to sleep. Most times you don't dream if you are asleep for less than two hours, so please, for me, take a nap.”

I submitted no matter how much I hated the idea and within five minutes I had fallen asleep. It wasn't for long, but in the long run I think it helped because that night I didn't sleep at all. Not even falling asleep and having nightmares, just nothing, no sleep. At first y/n tried to stay up with me, she studied and did her homework, and mine, and then she got in bed alongside me and stroked my hair and did everything she could to help me fall asleep. But in the end, my fear of having another nightmare was bigger than her ability to keep her eyes open. I didn't mind though, even though I was exhausted and afraid, watching her peaceful face as she slept was comforting, almost normal.

~~

y/n POV

When I woke up in the morning I was alone in Stiles' bed, tucked in carefully with a pillow in my arms. I got a grasp of my surroundings and looked for Stiles around the room. He was sitting upright at his desk in a chair, staring at the wall with dark circles under his eyes.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” he shook his head at me and rubbed the back of his neck. My heart sank. I knew I tried all I could to get him to fall asleep, but in the end it's pretty much the will of two against my own. Seeing him so stressed and exhausted broke my heart, Stiles has been through so much already and he just doesn't deserve this.

“Alright, well, school starts in twenty so I'm going to make us both some coffee and then we should go.” he nodded sleepily at me and I placed a kiss on top of his head before dashing downstairs. 

I came back up fully dressed with two to-go cups of coffee in my hands and found Stiles sitting in exactly the same position as when I left. Not a good sign. Usually his hyperactive ass wakes up ten minutes before me, places a pillow in my arms where his arm is supposed to be, makes coffee, gets our school stuff, and is still left fidgeting for ten minutes before I'm ready to go. His stillness was what bothered me more than anything else, if there is one thing about Stiles that everyone notices, it's that he's always moving. 

“Maybe you should stay at home Stiles, I can get a ride to school, and you can try to sleep.” he flinched slightly at the word “... or, maybe I should stay with you.”

 On second thought, I should definitely stay with him. No matter whether he stays home or goes to school, leaving his side today seems like a bad idea. 

“No, no, I'm coming I wouldn't be able to sleep if I stayed here anyways, might as well do something while I'm awake.” his voice was slow and thick, like he was asleep with his eyes open, but a response was better than I was hoping for at this point. 

Luckily for the both of us, the whole pack has our first class of the day together, a good chance for me to warn everyone that Stiles is practically a zombie. We all sat down in our usual seats and coach per usual was ten minutes late. We used those ten minutes to talk as much as we could. 

“He's so… still” Lydia looked at me while I explained how I found him at his desk this morning and glanced over at him.

“I'm worried, Lyds, you know Stiles as well as I do, I don't think I have ever seen him this still, like ever.” 

Scott nodded from behind us and then looked back at Stiles.“Uh, guys, he's writing something.” 

I whipped around in my seat to look at Stiles who was sitting directly behind me.

“Scott I can't really see it, what does it say?” Lydia asked from next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me as she could tell how worried I was. Before Scott could reply,  coach suddenly laid on his whistle at the four of us, continuing on with it after screaming Stiles' name a few times. 

“STILINSKI”

“W-what?! Sorry coach, what did you ask?” his head shot up after coach laid on the whistle for the last time and he responded quickly to get him to turn around.

“Stiles, I told you we should have stayed home today.”

“Im fine, i’m fine, I just fell asleep for a minute, that's all” Scott looked at me and then back at Stiles.

“Dude, you weren't asleep.” He pointed to Stiles’ paper, his dark pen marks all over it. Finally after a second I could tell what it said, though I'm not sure Stiles could. It said the same thing I had said, his dad had said, even what Stiles himself would say during his nightmares. Wake up, it said, wake up.

Stiles POV

The whole day I constantly felt like everyone had their eyes on me. My little fiasco in coaches class at the beginning of the day had them, and me, worried. I could tell Scott and Allison were trying their best to be supportive, but they didn't really understand, plus Scott was not so discreetly staring at the new girl and Allison at Isaac. Finally the bell rang for lunch and the pack headed outside to our usual table, all of us squeezing onto the benches as best we could.

“I brought more baked goods.” y/n sat down next to me and pulled out two containers full of the cupcakes she made yesterday. Scott and Issacs' heads shot up at the mention but Lydia looked so angry it was hilarious.

“Are you trying to tempt me?”

“Hey, imagine how I feel, do you know how many times this week alone I thought I had diabetes” I chimed in and smiled at the both of them, showing them I was okay. Sleep deprived and with more anxiety than ever, but okay. 

Scott looked up from his textbook and began talking. 

“Okay, so what happens to someone who has a near-death experience and comes out of it seeing things?” Everyone at the table looked up from wherever they were doing as I chimed in.

“And is unable to tell what's real or not.”  Allison nodded after I spoke

“And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives.” 

Beside me y/n sighed and reached in to grab a cupcake.

“Well, they're all locked up because they're insane.” 

y/n reached across the table and snagged the cupcake from out of Issac’s hand. “If you're not going to be helpful you don't get to eat the product of my stress, okay? new rule.” 

I laughed as Issac put his head down in defeat “Could you at least try to be helpful, please” I begged him with a pen in my hand before he looked back at me and responded.

“For half my childhood I was locked in a freezer. So being helpful is kind of a new thing for me”

“We're still milking that?” I received a sharp slap on the arm from my girlfriend who handed the cupcake back to Issac.

“Boys please stop fighting, we have a guest” She gestured toward Kira and offered her a cupcake. 

“I couldn't help overhearing what you guys are talking about.” We all shuffled to make room for her on the bench as she continued. Scott looked like he was enthralled with absolutely everything she said as she talked about Bardo and death. 

“Hold on, wrathful deities, what are those?” I focused back into the conversion as she explained.

“Oh, like demons.”

“Demons? Why not?” I received another sharp slap to the arm by y/n who was trying her best not to offer her another cupcake as she explained the final stage. When she reached the word death I almost spit out my frosting.

“Death, really? First demons, now death, lovely, just great.” y/n flared her arms around as she said it and picked her bag up, placing it back on her shoulders. Kira left the table when her dad entered the courtyard and y/n looked over at Scott.

“I think It's time we see what Deaton knows.”

~~

y/n POV

As soon as I heard death and demons were on the table, I insisted that Scott, Stiles and I head over to the vet clinic. I may be a talented researcher, but I'd say this calls for a little more expertise. Stiles explained to us and Deaton what he saw while he was “asleep” in class this morning, how everyone there was using sign language.

“Well, it sounds like your subconscious is trying to communicate with you”

“Oh, of course, because that's a thing now too” I nodded and crossed my arms as we followed Deaton to the back.

“How do I tell my subconscious to use a language I actually know?” 

“Do you remember what the signs looked like?” 

“You know sign language?” 

“A little.” 

Stiles did the moves slowly, one by one. When is a door not a door.

“Oh, I know this one!” I shouted “When it's ajar, get it?” I turned around enthusiastically to see the boys nodding slowly. Well, that's embarrassing. 

“My subconscious wants to tell me a riddle?”

“And not a very good one at that” I noted as Deaton tried to explain.

“...You essentially opened a door into your mind.” 

“That sounds bad. Like, really bad.” Deaton nodded at me

“So, then how do we close it?”Stiles looked at me and then at Deaton.

“He's doing the same face you do when you're about to completely make up an answer in class that sounds smart but doesn't actually answer the question.”

I scowled at Stiles and rolled my eyes. I muttered under my breath, “I do not do that!” 

“The only thing I know is that having a door like that open is not good.”

We left his office quickly and walked out to Stiles' jeep where there was another car waiting. His dad stepped out in his full sheriff's uniform and looked at the three of us. 

“I need some help, well actually, your help” He pointed at Scott, explained and Stiles and I hopped into the jeep, promising to meet them there. When we were finally alone in his car with the radio playing quietly in the background I looked up and asked him,

“So, how are we planning on closing that door?” 

~~

Stiles POV

Once we got to the Tate’s house we parked just up the road and met Scott there where my dad had dropped him off after explaining to him what we had to do. The house was on the edge of town essentially in the middle of nowhere, a beautiful little farmhouse in sad disrepair. Carefully we snuck up to a back door. With barely even a touch to the handle it was already creaking and groaning as if it hadn't been opened in years. Which, upon further thought, it probably hadn't.

“Stiles!” Scott scolded me for the noise. Silently I held my hands up and continued to slowly open the creaking door until all three of us managed to get inside. As soon as I closed the door behind me I felt y/n/n grab onto my arm.

“Um, guys?” Scott and I both turned around to find a large rottweiler staring back at us.

“Nice puppy, good good… boy” I whispered to it

“Scott, do something!” 

“What do you want me to do, it's not mine?!” the dog began to bark unexpectedly, backing up as it did so to a doorway leading away from the room we were in.

“You're the alpha here Scott you can certainly do more than either of us could!” 

Suddenly a yell came from the kitchen, a deep low man's voice calling out to the dog. Within a moment the dog ran out, following the voice and ceased it’s barking. 

“God. no wonder I can't get a scent on anything in here. It all smells like dog hair.”

Again on our way out we struggled with the door, somehow leaving without too much sound alerting the man we saw wave from his front porch as we all hid in a bush at the end of the driveway. My dad pulled over halfway down the street towards my jeep and jumped out of the car. My dad was always stressed. I mean he’s the sheriff of a town with probably the most supernatural events in the US, I mean not that I have data on that or anything. But now he was under a different kind, a more urgent kind that I hadn't seen in him since my mom died.

“Did you get anything?”

“No, sorry sheriff. Maybe if it had been more recent…” Scott trailed off as my dad put his head in his hands and blew out a breath.

“No, no, don't apologize, I shouldn’t have done it anyways. This poor man was hurting enough before I went in and ripped a wound back open for him.” he pinched the bridge of his nose “Thank you, anyways, for trying. I’ll see you two at home.” 

y/n/n and I nodded as he drove away towards town, leaving the three of us with Roscoe.

“Is your dad okay? I swear I've never seen him this stressed about a case, he's seen plenty go unsolved.” y/n took my hand as we got back into the jeep, Scott taking his place in the normal passenger seat with my girl in between us. 

“Yeah, I think he just wanted to solve one last one, ya know, while he's still sheriff.” 

y/n looked knowingly at me and gave my hand a squeeze but Scott stopped and turned his body to look at me.

“What do you mean ‘while he's still sheriff?’” 

~~

y/n POV

After what ended up being a rather quick explanation, Stiles and I dropped Scott off at his house before heading home. 

“Well, considering everything, I think he took it alright.” we walked up the stairs to Stiles' room both thinking of the look on Scott’s face when we had to tell him his dad was back in town. 

“I don't know. The look he gave when he saw the car in his driveway? I don't think it’ll be a smooth night for any of us today.” 

The both of us collapsed on his bed in a heap, I put a hand on his arm to soothingly drag it up and down, hoping that eventually he would begin to tire out. Not tonight though. We stayed in our clothes from the day, laying there next to each other. I desperately tried to get him to at least relax in the bed, but every single part of him that wasn't touching me was taught and tense. Finally around one in the morning we heard someone coming up the stairs. The door to Stiles' room suddenly opened and the both of us picked up our heads to see Scott standing there with a flashlight in his hand.

“We’re going to go find a body. A dead one.”

Ten minutes later despite my protest that Stiles needed to sleep and his protest that I was being dramatic we again ended up in the woods outside the Tate house, searching for the car reck from nearly ten years ago. 

“Scott, do you even know what we are looking for? No offense but I have been dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour and I would at least like it to be worth something.” 

“No offense? Sounded like you mean just a little offense.” Stiles chuckled ahead of me.

“Well it should be somewhere right ahead-” he didn't get the chance to finish before we crested a hill and saw what lay on the other side. A car, almost half in the ground by now, metal and debris laying all around it.

“Why wouldn't they move it? Isn't this evidence?” Scott walked around the wreck, leaving me and Stiles lagging behind with the flashlight.

“I guess it was just too much of a hassle for them to bother.”

The three of us finally made it to the edge of the car. Rust was obscuring most of what used to be a fine model of sedan but now was nothing more than trash in a swamp. We held the flashlight closer to the door, finally seeing the claw marks that the sheriff had been talking about. Scott put his hand for comparison right on top of the marks.

“They match.” he said “Almost perfectly.” 

 We moved on to shining the light inside the broken windows and doors of the car, something catching Stiles' eye as he handed the light to me.

“What is that?” He reached his hand inside the car and pulled out an old baby doll, clothes torn and marks all over the plastic flesh. He held it up between us for Scott to look as I took a step back from it.

“God that things-”

“Mama! Mama!” suddenly the little devil doll spoke from Stiles hands and he tossed it so far that I couldn't see where it had landed. In the process he had also clearly hit Scott square in the face and jumped about a mile high.

“I think I just had a minor heart attack” 

“Minor!? Stiles you just pushed Scott into a rock wall!” Suddenly Scott swatted both of our arms and out a finger to his lips.

“Quiet! Both of you, quiet!. Do you see that?” he pointed up toward the hill, but his vision was better than ours, it took us a second too long to find what he had been pointing at. By the time that second was over, Scott had made a dash for the top of the hill running towards the blue eyed Coyote, and leaving Stiles and I in the dust.

[postcreditscene]

Summer Post-Depression

It’s remarkably lonely coming out of such a crushing depression. Especially on the brink of change like this. Leaving the blanket of suicidal thoughts and the pillows of my prolonged girlhood is utterly terrifying. I, a girl who honestly did not plan to make it past the notable yet small age of thirteen, now have to pick universities, do my a-levels, wait patiently for exam results to know if my school will let me keep studying with them. My whole life is a painful and dreadful limbo now.

Summer holidays are always an end of an era in my life as my fall forsaken birthday comes closer yet again. This summer is decidedly my last as a girl and my first as a woman. Why? Because I finally don’t want to kill myself so badly that I need to make something of myself instead of just making sure the self survived. It clearly did as this is not a post mortem (although I may do one on my birthday, for the girl that will surely wither away for my more adult self). The past six months have been full of this, cramming the half of my classes I missed between gym sessions and fucking valorant matches has kept my mind occupied. Until now. Now I am sitting in the polish countryside, typing this on a sun warmed chair swing enjoying the last hours of silence before my aunt, her ape-ish husband and their rotund son come back. Nothing against my art of course, and every day I wonder what she did so wrong to be cursed with sons instead of daughters.

Either way, the peace will be over within the hour as my mother and her new boyfriend come back from their run. I’ve never met a man more loudly and confidently stupid. He is obtrusive. That is the only way I can describe him without being downright nasty and I’m really trying to stop doing that. Sadly after this holiday ad the following one in Paris with my father and his empty headed racist bimbo small-minded small-chested rotten in the soul wife I will be forced to live with my mother and her boyfriend in some sad new build house with his untrained poorly vaccinated dog and the fucking outdoor cat that I will be undoubtedly violently allergic to. Maybe I am a bit of a mean person. For context, my father’s wife forced me out of my own house (after having plunged me into living with her for a year, the attempts made during that year and the memories from that time are long forgotten) and my mother acts like a complete fucking retard as soon as her boyfriend is involved (for example, forgetting I exist, fucking off for two weeks at a time after my beloved childhood dog passed away, and most insultingly letting him call me ‘scary’). I had planned for this blog to be profound and not just a rant.

Circling back to the end of my girlhood and my subsequent rebirth as a woman (or just a teenage girl, god knows what kind of metamorphosis I will commit to). To simplify the goals of this transformation for myself, I’ve made a simply list.

• Get a boyfriend

• Go to school for at least 4/5 days of the week (I only did one full week of school last year about halfway through the spring)

• Fuck previously stated boyfriend (I might be scared of sex but I’ll totally get over that if he’s hot enough)

• Maybe get a girlfriend instead because dick is gross

• Go to the gym three times a week at least

• Plot some kind of cosmic level revenge on my sister who went fucking crazy and refused to do my hair before my school dance.

A very achievable list of goals for the summer and the following year of my life.

Back to the summer. I’m attending a wedding where there is apparently a very rich young man a year or two older than me that’s just finished studying at a boarding school in Switzerland who I’m supposed to be meeting. And he’s supposed to be handsome on top of that. What a catch (I’ll update you to weather he’s actually handsome or not). Perhaps a decent candidate to lose my ‘hold hands romantically’ virginity to. It is very hard being old and an ex-ugly still kind of strange neurodivergent woman. And now I sound like a social justice warrior.

Anyways, unbothered silence is over as is my writing session this fine morning. So I hope this serves as a half- decent introduction to my summer and my blog. Sorry that this is all over the place, I’m not good with introductions.

[oneheda]

I TOLD YOU THINGS. | 𖥂 lo’ak sully

── .✦ part 1 of: PREMONITIONS

wc: 5.5k

pairing: lo’ak x fem!na’vi reader (aged up characters for plot purposes!)

story description: after completing iknimaya, you were so sure that you and him were going to happen. but, reality reared its ugly head and your dreams were just dreams. lo’ak had suddenly severed your 16-year-long bond with him, leaving you behind to pick up the broken pieces.

contains: angst, slowburn, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, and fluff (maybe soon)

warnings: none, except hurt feelings of course.

➙ PART 2:

a/n: this is my FIRST avatar fic EVER. i did not expect to write this much for 2 days, or nearly experience zero writing block. man, was i on a roll. anyway, this was meant to be a one-shot, but it’s most likely going to turn into a 2 parter. maybe if this part does well… i’ll write the next part!

It didn’t bother you as much as it used to—losing touch with Lo’ak and the Sully family. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself. These days, dinner at eclipse was spent around a different circle of friends and family, and the once-frequent glimpses of the Sullys at distant bonfires had grown rare, fading into the past.

You had no reason to dwell on it. The here and now mattered more than old memories. Or so you tried to believe.

“Who’s ready for a round of s’mores?” D’yla’s voice rang out, cheerful and unbothered, as she raised a stick skewered with marshmallow high in the air. A chorus of agreement followed, hands lifting in unison around the crackling bonfire. Its warmth was inviting, the glow reflecting the growing camaraderie of the group.

“If it weren’t for the Sullys,” D’yla added with a grin, “we wouldn’t even have these… cotton edibles.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at the term, though it didn’t quite reach your chest, where a familiar pang settled instead. The mention of the Sullys was always like that—stirring up feelings you weren’t sure what to do with. They were still as admirable as ever, their deeds sung by the people of the clan. But that’s all they were to you now: stories. Praised figures. Not the friends you used to know. Not anymore.

Did it bother any of them? Maybe it did. Neteyam, Kiri, Tuk, and even their parents had made small efforts over the years to keep in touch, but life pulled everyone in different directions. The distance had grown so naturally, so imperceptibly, that it became easy to accept. Your mother’s words echoed in your mind often: “That’s just the way life goes.”

But it wasn’t completely severed—not yet. You knew the Sullys didn’t want to let go entirely. The occasional gestures were proof of that. All except for one: Lo’ak.

Of all the Sullys, he seemed unbothered by the widening chasm. Maybe even willing to let it turn into a full-fledged canyon. And for reasons you couldn’t understand, that hurt the most.

Because for the longest time, he had mattered the most.

By the time you passed your Iknimaya, the two of you had become little more than strangers. The shift was so sudden, so stark, that it felt almost unreal. But it was real. Real enough that you stopped asking his siblings about him. Real enough that you stopped asking the entire family.

They all had futures to look toward—Neteyam especially, with the weight of being the future Olo’eyktan on his shoulders. You couldn’t bring yourself to beg for answers. You wouldn’t risk making them worry about you and Lo’ak any further.

If this was the end of some childhood story, then so be it. Some endings didn’t need explanations.

That’s just the way life goes… right?

2 years ago…

“So, out of all four today, who’s caught your eye the most?” Kiri’s voice carried a teasing lilt as she lounged in Lo’ak’s tent, her tail swishing idly across the floor flaps. Her curiosity radiated in every movement, her grin sharp and knowing. “Come on, brother! You’ve been looking forward to this age for this exact reason.”

Lo’ak lowered himself onto the floor table, the one you had built for him not long ago. His eyes immediately found you in the corner of the tent, quietly inspecting your bow. You looked preoccupied, your fingers tracing over the carvings he’d etched into the wood a few moons ago. Passing Iknimaya had been all you could talk about lately, and Lo’ak—desperate to stay connected—had tried to keep up with you, chasing your conversations even as they veered further into adulthood.

He let out a slow breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he muttered, “I know, I know. I just… don’t know. It seems hard. There’s so many.”

But the truth was far messier. While you seemed optimistic about growing up, Lo’ak dreaded it. Growing up felt like the end of everything he loved—playfulness, freedom, and most importantly, you. He feared that your bold streak, the one that had always set you apart, would eventually take you somewhere—or to someone—that didn’t include him.

He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but the thought of losing you to adulthood terrified him.

The thought twisted in his chest. Would he just become a memory, a childish friend you once cared for but ultimately outgrew? Lo’ak couldn’t shake the fear that one day, when his mother inevitably started dropping hints about you and him being tied together for life, you’d recoil. You’d laugh off the idea, push him away, and that would be the end.

That every shared laugh, every accidental graze of your skin, every lingering glance meant nothing to you while they consumed him whole.

But he wasn’t ready to lose you. Not yet.

And yet, here you were, completely unbothered by Kiri’s teasing. When the conversation turned to the topic of other girls courting him, you remained so painfully supportive, offering polite smiles and offhand comments. Lo’ak knew he was selfish for it, but part of him wanted your chest to pang at the thought of him being with someone else. The way his chest burned whenever he imagined you with another Na’vi.

“So, what about you, [Y/n]?” Kiri asked, her tone light and mischievous as her sharp eyes flicked between the two of you. “Have you given Te’ylu or Ek’ran an answer yet? Or is there someone else you’ve got your eye on? I mean, with you being one of the most sought-after girls around, I’m sure there’s no shortage of people trying to catch your attention.”

You shook your head, your response clipped and quick. “No.”

Fuck.

Lo’ak’s stomach dropped. Was your nonchalance genuine, or was it a front, masking feelings you didn’t want to admit? He dared to hope for the latter, but hope was dangerous.

Because he knew, deep down, that it wasn’t fair to wish for anything other than your happiness. If you chose someone who was nothing like him, someone who made you truly happy, he would accept it. He would let you go with silent resignation, even if it tore him apart.

But a cruel thought lingered: maybe if you had known him less, for the the version of him that he could exist as in your fantasies, you would’ve love him more than for who he actually was. The flawed reality of him that you knew too well at heart. Because maybe, just maybe, you knew him too much to find him attractive.

And maybe then, instead of it being strangers he’d get teased about being with, it would be you.

8 years ago…

The sunlight danced through the canopy above, a shifting mosaic of gold and green that dappled the jungle floor. Everything smelled fresh, like rain-soaked earth and blooming flowers. The world felt bigger back then, didn’t it? The air heavier with mystery, the trees taller, their shadows deeper. It was one of those days where the wind carried the laughter of children like a melody—but beneath it all, there was something sharper. Something you didn’t notice until later.

You were following the sound of your father’s totem, the little wooden carving tied to a leather string that never left your neck. Only it wasn’t on your neck now. It was ahead of you, swaying in Sänika’s hand. The jungle was alive with noise—birds chirping, leaves rustling—but all you could hear was your heart pounding and Sänika’s teasing voice calling over her shoulder.

Her auburn hair bounced as she skipped ahead, the curls catching the sunlight like copper wire. You hated how she always looked untouchable, even when she was being cruel. There was a faint scar running down her left cheek, just a thin, silvery line that deepened when she smirked—and she was smirking now, her yellow eyes gleaming as she turned to face you near the edge of the cliff.

“You’re such a crybaby,” she said, holding it higher, as if daring you to lunge. “You care this much about a stupid trinket? You’re always carrying it around like a baby with a blanket.”

“It’s not stupid!” you shot back, your voice cracking halfway through. “Give it back, Sänika!”

She wiggled her fingers, making the totem sway above the drop, her yellow eyes sparkling with something cruel. “If it’s so important, why don’t you come and get it?”

You froze, panic tightening your chest. The cliff’s edge crumbled with every gust of wind. The totem wasn’t just important—it was everything. It was the last thing your father had given you before…before you lost him. You couldn’t lose it too.

The wind picked up, tugging at your hair, and as you stepped closer, a part of the cliff crumbled beneath your foot. Pebbles tumbled into the ravine, disappearing into the void below. Your stomach flipped, and you stumbled back, your breath catching in your throat.

That’s when Lo’ak appeared, crashing through the underbrush like he’d been chasing after you for hours. He was smaller then, his braids messier, his face still round with childhood. His knees were scraped, his braids tangled, and he looked like he’d just wrestled the entire jungle. He skidded to a stop, eyes darting between you and Sänika, quickly sizing up the situation.

“What’s going on?” he asked, though his face was already hardening. He froze when he saw you and Sänika by the cliff, his wide eyes narrowing as he took in the scene.

“Sänika she…,” you blurted, clutching your arms tight against your chest as you held back tears which threatened to fall. “She has my totem!”

Lo’ak frowned, his ears twitching. “What are you doing, Sänika? You’re being so stupid again.”

Sänika tossed her head, her auburn hair bouncing with the motion. “I’m not stupid, Lo’ak. I’m teaching her a lesson. She thinks she’s so special, always clutching that dumb little thing like it’s magic or something.”

“It’s not magic!” you snapped, your nails digging into your palms. “It was my dad’s! Just—just stop messing around!”

Lo’ak stepped forward, his tail swishing sharply behind him. “Sänika, give it back! You—!” His voice had dropped into that serious tone he used whenever you both got too close to trouble

You froze, unable to move, a tight knot of fear settling in your stomach. Sänika only tilted her head, eyes gleaming with mischief as she feigned consideration. “Hmm, you’re right,” she said slowly, drawing it out. “I don’t want to drop it.” Her smile widened, the kind that made your heart race. “I want her to come get it.”

It wasn’t a dare—it was a challenge. She held the totem just beyond the edge of the cliff, her knuckles white against the carved wood.

“Are you insane?! You’re crazy!” he hissed, his voice thick with anger and fear. Lo’ak warned you, his voice sharper now, “Don’t!”

But you couldn’t wait. You lunged forward before your fear could hold you back, your hand shooting out toward hers. The ground beneath your feet shifted, loose dirt crumbling into the ravine below, and for a terrifying moment, you felt yourself tipping forward. A strong arm caught you around the waist, yanking you back just as your balance gave out. Lo’ak’s grip was firm and unyielding as he pulled you away from the edge.

Lo’ak lurched forward, grabbing her wrist and yanking it back before she could drop the totem. She shrieked, trying to twist away, but Lo’ak was too quick. He snatched the totem from her hand and shoved her backward—away from the cliff, not too hard, but enough to make her stumble.

Sänika’s laughter rang out, cruel and high-pitched. “Aw, she almost made it!”

You collapsed to your knees, trembling as Lo’ak crouched beside you. “You okay?”

“See? No harm done,” Sänika said breezily, brushing dirt from her hands. “You’re welcome for the excitement.”

Lo’ak shot her a glare so sharp it could’ve cut through the undergrowth. “Shut up, Sänika! Don’t mess with her ever again. Go home!” he shot back, before turning to you and pressing the totem into your hands. “Here. Don’t let her take it from you again.”

You nodded, your breath still shaky. You clutched the totem tightly, your breath catching in relief. “Thank you, Lo’ak.” You muttered, looking down at it instead of him.

Lo’ak grinned, his sharp teeth flashing. “You’re welcome,” he said, his tail flicking with unspent energy. He nudged a pebble with his foot, sending it skittering over the edge of the trail. “But, next time? Maybe don’t let her play you like that so easy. You should definitely keep that in a bag or sumn’.”

The boy’s hand brushed your shoulder as he stood, his voice turning impatient. He extended a hand, pulling you up with a rare show of careful strength, his grip firm and steady. “Come on! Let’s get out of here before I really lose it.”

You took his hand, both soon walking side by side into the heart of the vibrant forest ahead. Lo’ak kicked a stone, sending it skittering through the soft, damp soil with a faint, melodic sound, and you sidestepped a low branch that swung too close. Every so often, he nudged you with his elbow, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips. You shoved him back lightly, pretending to glare, but your smile gave you away. Lo’ak glanced at you, his hand brushing yours for a split second, almost absentmindedly. Without warning, you gave him a playful shove, nudging him off the path. He stumbled but caught himself, shooting you a mock-scowl, though the comfort of familiarity had already replaced the tension, like it always did. “You owe me for that. Big time.”

“For what?” you shot back, the adrenaline making you bold. “For almost letting me fall?”

“For almost making me fall.” He grinned then, that familiar troublemaker grin. “And for not letting you punch her first. Trust me, I saved you a lot of trouble. You could at least say ‘thank you, Lo’ak, you’re so brave!’”

You shoved him back, again, rolling your eyes, but your lips twitched into a grin. “Fine. Thank you, Lo’ak. You’re so annoying.”

The boy laughed then, loud and carefree. Lo’ak, always a little quicker, started to moved ahead, but you easily caught up, each of you slipping past the other in a rhythm that felt as natural as breathing. And for a moment, the fear of the cliff and the totem’s danger faded into the background, replaced by the warmth of his laugh.

Each step felt like you were walking deeper into a dream, the quiet murmurs of the forest and the gentle rustling of the leaves filling the space between you two. The ground beneath your feet seemed alive with the roots of massive trees curling up from the earth, their gnarled forms glowing faintly in the tree-filtered, low light. Every now and then, a soft hum of bioluminescent insects flitted past the glowing moss of the trees, their tiny lights like glowing fireflies darting through the air.

“To say the least, I’m not as obedient or responsible as my brother. What do they even see in me, other than what I’ve overheard—a second choice to him?”

His words hung in the air, heavier than they should have been. You bit your lip and frowned, a sharp flare of anger rising in your chest as the question twisted something deep inside you. Second choice? That was laughable. You wanted to tell him that that was ridiculous, that the only reason anyone even compared him to Neteyam was because they were blind to everything that made Lo’ak Lo’ak. He was amazing as he was. But the words didn’t come. They never did, not when it came to this. Defending him outright? That wasn’t your style. Compliments between the two of you always felt like crossing some invisible line, one neither of you had ever dared to define.

Instead, you trudged ahead, crunching softly over leaves and branches as the glowing forest swallowed the two of you whole. The world felt quieter now, muted by the creeping eclipse. You glanced back at him, watching his expression as he trudged behind you. He looked…tired. Not just from the day’s hunt but from something else, something that weighed on him more than you realised.

You were supposed to be honest with him. You always had been. Honest, but sharp. Never tender, never soft. But, this time, you couldn’t risk saying what you actually thought. What if he thought you were being weird? Laughed it off, or worse, didn’t care? You didn’t even know why you felt like this—protective, almost angry. It wasn’t like Lo’ak expected you to care to this extent which you did. You didn’t.

At least, you didn’t think you did.

“Your existence is proof that failure has a sense of humor,” you said, keeping your voice light. “Maybe some girls are just into that.”

You expected him to laugh—or roll his eyes, or shoot back something equally sharp. But instead, his footsteps faltered behind you and when you turned, he had halted to a stop, standing still, expression unreadable.

He wanted to ask if you were one of the girls you had previously described, but he mentally slapped himself before he could say something as nearly stupid and weird as that. But there were still questions he found worth asking, one he particularly settled for.

“Do you… really see me as a failure?”

The question caught you off guard and for a moment, you froze, unsure of how to respond. His voice wasn’t biting or sarcastic. It was quiet, almost hesitant, and that made it worse. It was the most un-Lo’ak thing ever. Like, he sought for your validation? Never in your lifetime would you be able to foresee that. It was confusing and unexpected, but you didn’t have it in you to ask why.

You stared at him, the weight of his question settling between you. He wasn’t meeting your eyes, his gaze fixed somewhere just over your shoulder. It wasn’t like him to look so unsure, so vulnerable. And it wasn’t like you to feel so…paralyzed. You wanted to tell him no, of course not, that he was more than what he thought he was.

“Lo’ak,” you started, your voice softer than you intended. He looked up at you then, just slightly, like he was waiting for something—an answer, a reassurance, anything. For a brief moment, you thought about telling him the truth right there and then, when he had prepared himself to be in perfect earshot. And not just the truth about how you didn’t see him as a failure, but the truth about why. That you admired him, even when he doubted himself. That you chose to be by his side every day, not because of some childhood bond or shared memories, but because it was him. That you cared about him in a way that scared you because it didn’t feel simple anymore.

And with every passing second, the pressure grew, the unspoken words clawing their way up, desperate to escape. You could feel them swelling, a tide rising fast, threatening to spill over. The silence pressed harder, suffocating, as if daring you to break it. But instead of yielding, you retreated behind the familiar walls. You couldn’t let it out. Not now. Maybe not ever. Your honest words caught, stuck somewhere between the aching weight in your chest and the trembling tightness in your throat, tangled in feelings too raw to untangle, too sharp to name. You fell back into the only script you knew, the one you two always performed so well.

“I can’t even give you a proper compliment without it feeling forced,” you said, forcing a grin that didn’t reach your eyes. “But you know I care. I’ve known you forever—probably know more about your failures than you’ll ever admit.”

You mentally winced. The moment the words left your mouth, you regretted them—not because they weren’t true to your usual dynamic, but because they didn’t feel right. Not now. To keeping up the usual pace, this time it felt so wrong and so outdated. But you pushed that thought aside, waiting for the usual retort, the banter you relied on to fill the silence.

For a brief moment, Lo’ak didn’t move. He stood there, his posture taut, muscles in his arms and chest flexing as he stood tall—much more solid than the boy you used to know. The years had done their work. He had grown into his body, shaping into something undeniably striking. His skin, painted with the marks of his people, glistened faintly under the moonlight. And as much as you tried to look away, your gaze lingered on the way his shoulders tensed with every breath, the defined lines of his torso stark in the dim light. Lo’ak pretended not to notice your gaze before you tore your eyes away.

The ache in your chest refused to be ignored as Lo’ak’s face remained unreadable, a mask of frustration that had nothing to do with the banter that used to flow so easily between you. You caught yourself looking at him, straight ahead this time, and just for a second, the thought flickered through your mind that maybe—maybe, just maybe—he’d say something to break the tension. But then, he walked past you, his shoulder bumping into yours, causing you to stumble as he moved toward the clearing ahead.

“You’re right,” he muttered, his voice cold and distant. “If I ever needed comfort, the last person to ask would be you.”

The words shouldn’t have hurt. You’d heard worse from him before, and you’d given worse in return. But, it was different this time. This time, the edge in his voice wasn’t teasing or playful. It was real.

You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lump in your throat. “Lo’ak, I wasn’t being serious.” you said, forcing out the words even though they felt too hollow to hear.

He kept walking, his steps deliberate and heavy, as if the very act of moving away from you was an act of willpower. His jaw tightened, the muscles working against the storm of emotions threatening to break through. He hated this—hated how much he suddenly cared, how your jokes now stung instead of rolling off him like they used to. Why couldn’t he just laugh it off? Why was it different this time? He didn’t want to hurt you, but it felt like he was suffocating under the weight of wanting something deeper.

And for the first time, it scared him to admit it.

What if, without the banter, there was nothing left? What if this was all there ever was? What if a joke is all you saw of him? He didn’t know if he could bear that, but was just how things had always been between you two: always deflecting, always skimming the surface even when none of it was casual for him with you. Not anymore.

Because Lo’ak had spent his whole life pretending he didn’t care—about what his father thought, about how people compared him to his brother, about the teasing he got from others and especially you. But, this time, there was a growing part of him, a small, desperate part, that wanted you to say you saw him differently. He wanted to feel like he mattered to you in a way that went beyond years of childhood habit. He wanted more than your jokes and your teasing, because he knew you could give him that now that you were older. To see through his front, to the boy who was trying to prove he was more than what everyone joked or even thought he was.

But, you never did, And, least of all, Lo’ak didn’t know why he expected you to. Didn’t know where all of it was suddenly coming from.

It felt final, like a line had been crossed—one neither of you were ready to admit existed. You wanted to call out to him, to say something, anything, as he walked away, but the weight of fear held your voice hostage and legs tied down. You told yourself it probably didn’t matter, that everything will be fine in the morning, as it always had been. But beneath it all, you knew something had shifted and you weren’t sure if you could ever go back.

Neither did he.

Lo’ak didn’t look back. He couldn’t. Because if he did, he might’ve seen the flicker of confusion and regret in your eyes—and he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done with that. The truth was, Lo’ak wasn’t sure what could’ve hurt more: the idea that you might actually have seen him as a failure, or the realisation that your words mattered to him in ways they never had before for the first time. Either way, it felt like he was losing something he couldn’t afford to lose—his pride, his control, or maybe even you.

If avoiding you were a contest, Lo’ak would take the prize. The playful banter, once effortless, now felt stilted, a relic of a closeness neither of you knew how to reclaim. Slowly, your conversations dwindled—shorter, more polite, less… you two. It wasn’t sudden. It happened in tiny, almost imperceptible steps: a missed laugh here, a sidelong glance avoided there, a quippy comeback that never came. Until one day, you realised how quiet it had become between you.

You told yourself it was just a phase. Maybe Lo’ak needed space after Iknimaya, the details of which he somehow forgot to mention to you. Or maybe you were just imagining things. You clung to that thought, even as the silence between you two grew heavier. But the last thing you wanted was to make the cracks between you visible to anyone else, least of all the Sullys.

They’d ask questions you couldn’t answer, offer advice you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to admit to them that you were worried, not when Lo’ak had already made it clear that space was what he needed, no matter how uncomfortable it made things. So, you waited.

But god, you wish you didn’t have to.

Days turned into weeks, then months. The wedge delved between you two and your interactions deepened, and widened, into an unknowing expanse. You caught yourself rehearsing things you wanted to say to him, but never did out of the fear of the ‘what-if’s. Anyway, with each time you saw him, any flicker of hope was quickly extinguished by the stiffness in his acknowledgements towards you, the way he avoided meeting your eyes, or how he said nothing more than two words.

You used to stare into his eyes, studying his face, but now all you saw was his figure from a distance. You held onto the comfort of knowing he was alive, because it was the only comfort you had left since the distance between you had grown.

“Are you sure you two are okay?” Neteyam asked on the hike out, substituting the spot of his younger brother. “Has he been avoiding you, outright?”

Everything that came out of your mouth next was a lie. But, atleast you didn’t try to cover it up through a joke this time. Right? 4 weeks ago you were treading the same path, “No, no. He’s just busy.“

Two years later, after keeping up with all the lies and excuses of never being seen together, one night after the eclipse, everything came crashing down—if they hadn’t had already.

You hadn’t meant to go there, not really. You weren’t really looking for him. Not on purpose, at least. You had just ended up here, feet carrying you toward the cliffside where the air always seemed to clear your mind, where the familiar sound of the wind through the trees had once calmed your thoughts after eclipse dinner.

You walked aimlessly, your fingers toying with the rough, woven bag Lo’ak had made for you years ago. It felt strange to still carry it, but you had never been able to leave it behind. His craftsmanship, though imperfect, always had a certain warmth to it—a reminder of times before the silence, before things changed.

But then, as you approached the spot, a laugh cut through the stillness of your night, catching you off guard and freezing you in your tracks.

It was Lo’ak.

You peered higher and saw Lo’ak sitting there, but he wasn’t alone. His toned arms draped casually around someone else, a female Na’vi who had leaned into him. You could see his face was lit with the kind of ease you hadn’t seen from him in months.

And then your breath caught. For a moment. You couldn’t tell what you felt.

You didn’t know how long you stood there, staring. Long enough to feel the sting of tears prick your eyes. Long enough to realize he wasn’t going to notice you. A knot of feelings twisted in your chest, unnamable but impossible to ignore.

You told yourself it wasn’t about the girl, not really. You didn’t even know her, and maybe that was the point. If she were someone else, someone familiar, maybe you could convince yourself that this was normal. That Lo’ak was just being Lo’ak. But the sight of his hands on her waist burned into you like it was something you weren’t supposed to see.

Why was she here, and what were they doing?

Maybe it was the laugh. That stupid, familiar laugh that used to be with you, or at least it felt that way. Because all that had now dissipated into silence when that laugh, that ease, was once the thing that kept you going. It was what you’d been waiting for these past few months, but now, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you’d been waiting for nothing.

Maybe you were wrong to think that the next sunrise would be the one where everything would finally be okay. Maybe you were wrong about everything. Was it always going to be like this now? You and him on opposite sides of something you didn’t know how to name?

But then your gaze stilled on something—a flash of moonlight catching onto something too familiar, way too vivid.

Her hair.

The sight of it gleamed a rich, deep auburn, like firelight tangled in shadow, a colour freshly burned into the back of your mind, that used to send a cold shiver down your spine.

No… It couldn’t be.

For a moment, your mind refused to process it. You blinked, stared, convinced the memory was playing tricks on you.

But no.

And then, it hit you.

There she was. Sänika. Sitting right next to Lo’ak, her arm resting comfortably around his, at your favourite spot, yet the same spot where she threatened to throw your father’s totem over. You hadn’t seen these two together in ages, were they even friends? What was she doing here, with him? His hands around her waist? How had she slinked into his world, weaving her way through the cracks while you were struggling to even get past through to him beyond the surface?

And then suddenly, you were back there: a younger version of yourselves, swearing under your breath as you tried to avoid her, tried not to let her get to you.

“She’s such a pain,” Lo’ak had said once when you were kids, kicking dirt at the ground, his voice bitter. “I swear, I don’t know how she manages to be everywhere we are.

You didn’t know her at this age anymore, but the unmistakable curve of her cheek, once the subject of countless jokes between you and Lo’ak, was now the very spot where you painfully watched him press his lips. The damage from that hit you like a punch to the chest, and a tidal wave of anger—one you refused to admit had been building—flooded your veins. You tried to make sense of the mess swirling inside you—the memories, the countless unanswered and unravelling questions, the sudden sense that things were fully slipping away this time.

Why? Why was she the end of his answer? What had you ever done to deserve this?

Somehow, as your heart sank deeper, it became painfully clear to you—he wasn’t coming back.

You didn’t want him to, not anymore.

And so, it took everything within you to walk away, each step a battle against the ache in your chest. Turning your back on it felt like the only bit of control you had left, the only thing you could still control in a situation that was completely out of your control.

part 2 is out! thank you for reading! likes, comments, and reblogs are deeply deeply appreciated! 💕

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapters 8-9:

Chapter 8:

“Gone. Or had never been. But it had felt real…”

I think this is the worst part. She doesn’t know.

And this one haunts her… haunts Fenrys… the flames

“More so than the other memories that pressed in, demanding she acknowledge them. Accept them.”

She won’t accept them. The ones that aren’t real.

And the pain knowing she’s still fighting it. Even now.

The way she says “perhaps they’d melted away in the brazier” like she did too

And the worst part the move

Help how is “Fenrys the size of a pony” somehow cute and almost cheery to mer

The worst part is Maas skipped the first months because she’s here having you watch her break… when she is already worn.

“Run. Now.”

Then the gods whispered… why then?

“Along with that strange gift of his to leap between short distances, as if he were moving from one room to another. She'd long since lost hope he'd find some way to use it, to bear them away from here. She doubted he'd miraculously reclaim the ability, should the guard's sword strike.”

How does Fenrys powers work?

“Yet if she heeded that voice, if she ran, was the cost of his life worth her own? "You're debating it, aren't you," Cairn hissed in her ear. She could feel his smile even through the sack blinding her. "If the wolf's life is a fair cost to get away." A lover's laugh. "Try it. See how far you get. We've a few minutes of walking left." She ignored him. Ignored that voice whispering to run, run, run.”

Too long it’s been too long

“Rasping for breath, the mist fading away to cool night air. Sweet smells. Flowers.”

“Flowers still existed. In this world, this hell, flowers bloomed somewhere.”

The flowers line made me cry… this is why I paint… artists make flowers

The hood flickering… like a TOG paralell but worse… not a kind prince but an evil queen

And Fenrys signal his need to signal

SHED BEEN THERE IN HOF OH OW FULL CIRCLE FUUUUCCCKKKKKK

What is it with that damned owl? Please be a savior owl?

“Only one wolf sprawled at her feet this time. Black as night, as the queen’s eyes”

Foreshadowing… but it’s literally shadows???

“A terrible surprising weight”

“A different sort of shackle. As it had always been.”

Thorns

"Mab's crown," Maeve said. "Your crown, by blood and birthright. Her true Heir."

SO ITS TRUE… wait with Maeve being Valg… is she the only true heir now?

THE REALLY FULL (& circle) HEIR OF FIRE

“Aelin of the Wildfire”

Does the capitalized “W” mean anything?

���Breathe-breathing was key, was vital. She pulled her mind out, away, inhaling and exhaling. A wave sweeping back from the shore, then returning.”

“She drifted further back, away. Each breath tugged her out to sea, to a place where words and feelings and pain became a distant shore.”

This broke my heart as someone with chronic pain & a reallly shitty childhood cause that’s literally what you’re told to do.

But Fenrys kept her there for him

This is worse than UTM

There once was a princess

NOT YET… the same words from the beach…

"Aelin Fire-Bringer, wearing her proper Faerie Queen's crown at last. Kneeling at my feet."

Faerie Queen

“but without the wildness, without the mischief shining from his face.”

The black wolf gave no blinking code

Did he really speak freely or was it a lie?

Why we love Fenrys

Twin knives for the twin he was about to lose and the one that died too

“Fenrys's dark eyes shot toward her. He blinked four times. She could not bring herself to blink back. Her fingers curled and uncurled in her lap.”

The mannerism habit Rowan later holds… the words that break all their hearts

“Fenrys bared his teeth, even as something like grief dimmed his stare. Another burning wave washed through her knees, across her thighs. Aelin closed her eyes against it. She would endure this, would bear down on this. Her people had suffered for ten years. Were likely suffering now. For their sake, she would do this. Embrace it. Outlast it.”

I’m still reading so maybe I’ll change my mind but this is why I hate Darrow because he made her think like this

Also once again Terrasen & Endure the two words always intertwined with the lost children

Hurry Rowan

Something like grief lines always kill me

How dare you Connall how about Aedion and Lys come and destroy you for that comment before you join a new cadre hmm?? — Fuck this annotation did not age well in 2 pages

The foreign queen remark… mmmm… how dare you? Yeah, Nope!

“Fenrys snarled, and the sound must have been some secret language between them, because Connall snorted. "Leave? Why would I ever want to leave? And for what? That?" Even with her eyes shut, Aelin knew he pointed toward her. "No, Fenrys. I will not leave. And neither will you."”

Another secret language

And he tries to save his life save hers and he doesn’t go

Maeve was too cruel she wouldn’t even let him die she’d do much worse… why??? What did Fenrys do for this??? NOTHING. THATS WHAT! It’s who that’s the problem and UGH I HATE HER DAMN YOU VALG MAEVE

Her just flipping Maeve off (I love Aelin)

"An account that you were currently in Terrasen, readying the little army you gathered for war. You, and Prince Rowan, and my two disgraced warriors. Along with your usual group."

Dammit that guy reported back didn’t he

The moment she thinks he isn’t coming… why does she believe it? Is it because the lie would be too close to the truth? Or the time? Or her self worth? Or hoping he’s safe? Oh my heart this is brutal no no nooo ROWAN HURRY I KNOW UR TRYING BUT BABE RUN NOW LISTEN TO ELIDE DAMMIT

“Aelin hadn't realized she'd been holding on to it. That sliver of hope, foolish and pathetic. That sliver of hope that he'd come for her. She had told him not to, after all. Had told him to protect Terrasen. Had arranged everything for him to make a desperate stand against Morath. "Useful, to have a shape-shifter to play your part as queen," Maeve mused. "Though I wonder how long the ruse can last without your special gifts to incinerate Morath's legions. How long until the allies you collected start asking why the Fire-Bringer does not burn."”

Hope is never foolish

The firebringer that does not burn

The breaks just get worse as they fracture more every single time like glass under her soul

“Rowan had gone with them. They'd all gone to the North. And had reached Terrasen. A small mercy. A small mercy, and yet ...”

“The glass around her sparkled in the mist and moonlight, her blood a thick stain wending through it.”

Not this as the mental image for throne of glass

What do you want from the world then Valg queen bitch? — but also you’ll never be my bitch queen… she’s just a bitch! *john Mulaney voice*

Back to the days of tea and courts… I miss them

“The glass, the blood, the veranda and moonlight eddied in her vision.”

“There were no gods to save her. Not really.”

No

No Rowan… no no nooooooooooo

Rock and water and no flames

“Alone. She was alone in this. It would be of no use to beg the white wolf to help her.”

I am here I am with you

Endure; outlast-

Wait there were dragons?

What are wyverns then?

“Other fire-wielders—hunted and killed.”

Whyyyy????

“She didn't know why she felt it then. That shred of sorrow for creatures that had not existed for untold centuries. Who would never again be seen on this earth. Why it made her so unspeakably sad. Why it mattered at all, when her very blood was shrieking in agony.”

No one can ever call her selfish to me again

“Aelin couldn't stop the shaking that overtook her, the brutal numbness. Deep, deep, she drifted It did not matter if Rowan wasn't coming. If the others had obeyed her wishes to fight for Terrasen. She would save it in her own way, too. For as long as she could. She owed Terrasen that much. Would never fully repay that debt.”

“From far away, the words echoed, and memory shimmered.”

Her father this time

THE SHIELD

"To defend, Aelin. To protect."

Then her mother with the yield quote

Once Rowan’s words had left her

“She had nodded, not understanding. And her father had kissed her brow, as if he half hoped she'd never need to.”

“No sound remained in her for screaming.”

The most painful lines… The psychology here is so accurate it’s painful and ugh how why this writing owwww my soul it’s just literally painful and nauseating

“No. The word was a cold clang through her. Her lips even formed it as she jerked against the chains, lines of liquid fire shooting along her legs.”

HOLY GODS IF FENRYS FUCKING DIES IM GOING TO LOSE IT

No like what she’d said to Arobynn for Sam the memory in the word

“Fenrys. Her only tether to life, to this reality”

Aelin’s line said it right

She screamed for Fenrys… she broke her silence for him

“The owl on Maeve's throne flapped its wings once, as if in horror.”

Is the owl Silba or something? Maybe it’s not evil? But stuck? Elena… Mala… something… someone? Mab? Mora?

Is Maeve even her name or just a rhyme (dumb thought I know but this chapter killed my brain)

“Real. This was real. It had to be.”

… I did not expect that to somehow be worse

Maeve sounds like Arobynn

The white wolf… pure… dark…

“Connalls heart could mend—”

I hate her… Maeve… has there ever been a more thought out villain?

“She let herself lie there, half sprawled. Let the crown tumble off her head and skitter across the floor, dragon-glass spraying where it bounced. Bounced, then rolled, curving across the veranda. All the way to the stone railing. And into the roaring, hateful river below.”

Rolfe bring the dragons back please

"There is no one here to help you." Maeve's voice was as empty as the gaps between stars.”

Stars😭

WHAT PRICE AGAIN?

"And there is no one coming for you."

LIAR!!!!

“Aelin's fingers curled in the ancient glass”

Perfect aim (again TAB circle)

“She barely felt it, barely felt it through the rage and the sea of fire down deep, deep below.”

YES FERAL AELIN RAGE RUN GIRL RUN

No…. Shiiittttt. No.

Please tell me Cairn is dead?

Fuck.

“Black blood. As dark as night. As dark as the eyes that the queen fixed on her, a hand rising to her cheek.”

AELIN KNOWS

“A trick of the light. A hallucination, another dream. Maeve peered at the crimson stain coating her pale fingers. An onyx wind snapped for Aelin, wrapping around her neck. It squeezed, and she knew no more.”

DID THEY JUST WIPE HER MEMORY

What the hell are these chapters SARAH😭

Chapter 9:

ITS FENRYS😭 as Fenrys😭 OH WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH

“Beyond words, unsure her throat would even work, Aelin blinked three times. Are you all right? Two blinks answered. No.”

The fact he answer No for once😭

Am I okay? The answer is also NO!

“Lingering salt tracks streaked his cheeks.”

Normal writers: he had been crying. SJM: ⬆️

“Silently, he slid his hand into hers.”

One hand reached out😭☠️

“She mouthed the words, even though he likely couldn't make them out with the slit of the mask's mouth. I'm sorry.”

He knows it’s not her and it kills him even more like the later hug

Okay so Maeve is officially the worst ever

AELIN WEEPS FOR ROWAN😭🖤💀

“Let him stay in this form for a while longer, let him mourn as a male and not a wolf. Let him stay in this form so she could hear a friendly voice, feel a gentle touch���”

SHE LITERALLY IS KEEPING GLASS UNDER HER SKIN TO GIVE HIM A MOMENT OF REPRIEVE

“She began to cry. She couldn't help it. Couldn't stop it once it started. Hated every tear and shuddering breath,”

No Rowan lightening

“And she couldn't tell him, couldn't start to explain that it wasn't the glass, the shredded skin down to the bone.”

“He wasn't coming. He wasn't coming to get her.”

HE WASNT COMING

“She should be glad. Should be relieved. She was relieved. And yet ... and yet …”

He didn’t know why she wept

What Maeve is

Does Aelin even?

It hurt them both😭 the wounds reopening over and over

“Neither of them said a word.”

And the scar disappears🫥