#Because I’m clawing at the walls like a feral animal

[sketchy-noodles]

The price of greed 💜

[akystaracer22]

Distrust Fall:

A leap of faith gone wrong, an eternal promise kept eternally. No matter how long it has been some things never truly change.

Notes

How to fail a trust fall: Step one

Vaggie's relationship with Adam is very complicated, but at the moment there is a lot of animosity and it shows.

Adam is of the opinion that Sorry doesn’t mean jack shit if you make the mistake again, so he just doesn’t apologise because he thinks he’ll just fuck up again so there’s no point.

The hotel needs a licensed therapist at this point dear lord.

Alastor still isn’t over the whole “Radio is fucking dead” thing.

If there is one thing that Adam knows off by heart, it’s the names of animals scientific or otherwise. That was the guys job once upon a time and assuming he doesn’t know that stuff is the true quickest way to piss him off. He’s also really good with animals which pisses off Anthony because Fat Nuggets *likes* Adam and it drives the sinner up a wall.

Alastor and Lucifer are on the ground. Angel, Husk, Charlie, Vaggie, and Adam are on the roof.

Alastor was going to let him get a cm from the ground before catching him dw.

Lucifer used to be friends with Adam in the garden because I live for that sweet sweet friends to enemies tragedy.

Adam really does not like people staring at his face, it’s a mild form of scopophobia caused by his time in heaven with people always giving him shit for how he looked, particularly his facial features (Yes I drew on everyone calling him ugly and average on twitter and shit). He used the mask to get around it, that way people couldn’t actually see what he looked like.

This was originally 1260 but then I got an idea that blew this out by 500 words lol.

The graveyard with be elaborated on in a future connected one shot.

This is officially a fully fledged AU

Regarding Adam's claws, they're gold to combat the greyness of his palette, but also as a nod to Midas, the arrogant king who's touched turned everything to gold. Angelic blood is also gold so if you want you can interpret it as having blood on his hands.

Fingerless gloves because I thing they're neat.

I based Lucifer's wings off of duck wings!

Also Lucifer's angelic appearance was based on space. I heard Sera call Charlie "Daughter of the Morning Star" and I went feral.

He has a full shifting night sky in his wings, clothes, and hat.

Angels have white pupils now I don't make the rules.

References saved my life.

Word count: 1725

(Comic and fic under the cut! Click for better quality)

@irregular-child

Adam leaned away from the edge as the wind drifted through his wings, keenly aware of the fact that his wings wouldn’t break his fall and he did not in fact trust jack shit in hell to break it except the ground.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?”

“I’m with princess perfect this is a fucking death sentence,” Adam agreed, a little reluctantly because it was still the princess of hell, “You’re trying to fucking kill me.”

Vaggie smirked, because of course she did because she was trying to kill him, he wasn’t that dense, and just shrugged, “I mean, worked for me didn’t it?”

“That wasn’t even a fucking trust fall that was to get you to fucking fly and you know it! Fucking bitch,” The first man scowled and tried to step away from the edge, the crack whore of an arachnid immediately shoving him back up, “Would you fuck off?!”

“Would you stop being a dick?”

“Would you stop sucking them?”

The white jumping spider stared at him for a long moment and Vaggie stepped away from him for once, great! Cool! One person was leaving him alone and soon a second one will!

Great! About fucking time they got the message-

-------]

Lucifer paced nervously around Dazzle’s statue; this was a terrible idea. Having Adam go through a trust fall this early was going to end in disaster one way or another.

The main issue being nobody liked Adam and wouldn’t care if he fell. Hell, Charlies girlfriend has already tried to kill Adam off for good multiple times since he got here!

This was going to be a mess; Alastor was supposed to be catching Adam but he was just standing there looking completely unprepared and-

“Are you going to get ready or not.” Lucifer snapped at the radio demon, wings flicking out behind him in agitation.

“Oh, I have no intention of catching him.”

Lucifer froze, his tail stilling before lashing behind him as he turned on the deer-eared sinner, “What.”

“You heard me.”

“Oh, I heard you alright, and I think you should try that again.”

“And why are you getting so worked up, hm?” The sinner hummed, sneering down at the king, “Last I checked, the first man was your enemy after he tried to kill your own daughter.”

“I-” Lucifer paused, then scowled because Alastor was right. Why was he getting so worked up over this. This was Adam they were talking about. Adam who was crass and rude and cold to everyone. Adam, who would rather sit in his room all day than even look at any of them. Adam who was…

“…Luci, do they all hate me?”

…

“I can see why they left me for you.”

…

“It is good to see you again my friend! Come, much has changed since your last visit!”

… Adam who was so much more than who he was now. Who was probably the only person left in hell that remembered Eden.

Damnit.

“That’s none of your business you son of a bitch,” The fallen angel snapped at the cannibal, eliciting nothing more than a growing grin from the bastard.

Not a day went by in hell where Lucifer wished that this wasn’t his circus and that the sinners weren’t his monkeys.

Someone screamed above him.

The seraphim whipped his head up, eyes widening as he registered Adam twisting the air as he was shoved off the roof by Angel Dust.

Fear struck his heart like an exorcists blade when the first man tried to use his wings to glide, only for a single wing beat to send him into a spiral hurtling towards the ground.

He caught Adams eye for a single moment before it was obscured by his good wing, the man was terrified. He didn’t know sinners reformed after death and despite it all. Lucifer would never wish someone to experience falling from their death after quite literally falling from heaven.

Not even on Adam.

Something in his heart spurred the king into action, kicking off the ground as his wings snapped open to catch the air. A single beat of his wings and he was already well off the ground.

Lucifer reached a hand up for Adam as the fallen angel reached out to him in kind, panic written across both their faces at the idea of a horrible accident.

Lucifer’s wings moved the air one more time and-

“And… you will catch me?”

Lucifer laughed softly, a gentle chiming sound from where he stood behind Gods first man. He was trying to show him a game Lucifer and his kin would play from time to time amongst the spires of heaven.

The game was simple, one angel was to stand up high with their wings folded and fall. Then the other angel was to catch them. It was supposed to build trust, not to mention it was a delight in and of itself.

Standing amongst the grasses of Eden, Lucifer saw no reason not to share this game with Adam. He’s already grown fond of the way that Gods creation would go out of his way to show the angel what he’d been up to since his last visit.

“Be not afraid my friend!” Lucifer’s wings spread quietly to punctuate his point, divine magic threading his words, The Voice ensuring that the first man would hear and believe him.

“No matter how far you fall, I shall always be there to catch you.”

Lucifer wrapped his arms securely around the fallen angel as his wings curled around wing and man alike, bracing himself as the added weight as they both fell together.

It’s funny, it reminded him of when Adam first fell, a fiery ball that could have almost been mistaken as a shooting star had Lucifer not known better.

They hid the ground with a slam and the fallen seraphim had to bite back a shriek as his wings took the brunt of the force. They’d be left aching for a while.

Lucifer grunted as he pushed Adam off of him, sitting up and folding his wings in, allowing them to slip out of existence while they healed, he definitely didn’t want to do that again.

He slowly got to his feet while the first man got his bearings, dusting himself off and rubbing his shoulders to try and alleviate the pain.

“Why the fuck did you save me?”

Lucifer jerked and looked down at Adam from where he was glaring up at him, a note of confusion held carefully in his gaze before it dropped.

“I-”

“Well, isn’t this quite a surprise!”

Lucifer’s expression shot into a scowl as he rounded on the radio demon very blatantly interrupting the moment. The bastard just grinned and stared down at the both of them.

From the corner of his eyes Lucifer noted Adam’s good wing hitching up instinctively to cover his face from the demons gaze before dropping.

Lucifer turned his attention back to the radio demon with a glare that could melt steel, “You were going to let him fall,”

“I was going to do no such thing,”

“You just said-!”

“I said nothing you just assumed I was going to do nothing at all!”

“Listen here you!” Lucifer was just off again by the main doors opening and the other’s all barrelling out at the commotion.

Lost in the sudden onslaught of attention and having to field Alastor’s snarky comments, Anthony’s suggestive remarks, and Charlie’s concern, he didn’t see Adam flee the scene.

It wasn’t until much later that he was able to recognize the first man’s absence, searching the hotel to see if Adam was okay.

He found him at the graveyard, sitting among the many tombstones for the exorcists slain in the battle that caused Adam to fall.

Lucifer paused at the entrance to the burial ground, watching Adam sit there facing away from him for what felt like an eternity.

Despite the dead being gone, the king of hell still felt like the exorcists weapons were pointed at him, a warning that if he made one wrong move they would rise from their graves to protect their leader, to avenge him, to strike Lucifer down in an instant.

The once-angel of the morning star carefully stepped away from the cemetery, making sure he didn’t break the silence. Even if Adam wanted to be disturbed, he wasn’t the right person to do it, not in this place.

Besides, he still had his own thoughts to sort through, like why in the name of the divine he saved Adam when he would have survived regardless. He would have been fine even if he did hit the ground unimpeded so why-

Lucifer grimaced as the answer stuck to him like a parasite, he knew damn well why he saved him. It was the same stupid reason he preened Adams wings for him, the same reason he treats the first man’s wing rot and the exact same reason he made that deal with Adam after he fell.

He was attached.

Stupids horribly foolishly, Lucifer still cared for Adam even after everything.

By the stars he beat Adam within an inch of his life! Adam tried to kill his daughter!

But emotions were hardly logical. They weren’t logical when he fell for Lilith in the garden and taught her and Adam both The Voice, they weren’t logical when he freed Eve, and they weren’t logical now.

Lucifer cared for Adam, even if by all logic he should hate the man.

“Dad?”

Lucifer looked up to meet his daughters eyes, a small smile letting her know he was okay, “Hey there Duckie.”

Charlie’s expression softened at the nickname even if he still looked concerned, “Dad… are you sure you’re okay?”

“If I’m not now, I will be, so stop worrying about little old me Char-char,” Lucifer chuckled, “However… Adams in the graveyard if you want to talk to him, he seems like he needs some company right now.”

He made his exit quickly after that, he knew what Charlie would do, it was in her nature to help people, it was what made her so special.

But Lucifer, he helped people once, and now… he had a new person he could help again.

And he might just know where to start.

[mothergold]

| You and I | 

Pairing: Albedo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Breeding Kink, Afab!Reader, Fem!Reader, He/Him Pronouns for Albedo, No pronouns for Reader, Reader is called a good girl, Dubcon(?), Feral!Albedo, Albedo is Reader’s Husband, Pregnancy is mentioned quite a bit, Lowkey Selfship Coded lol, Overstimulation, 1.2k words. 

Summary: You’ve been laying down hints for awhile that you want kids, and Albedo finally takes the initiative one evening. 

A/n: I want Albedo to put a baby in me <3

Tags: @suyacho @neuvillettes @themovingcastlez @tighnarly

It’s five in the evening, and instead of catching up with your husband about your day, you are being stuffed full of his cock. In the same king sized bed that you both laid on and talked about having a family of your own, but instead of shaky hands interlocking and soft voices whispering sweet nothings, there was just you being shoved into the mattress while your husband’s cock throbbed within your walls. 

“Al-Albedo.” You whined.  

Albedo’s body was pressed up against your back, pushing you firmly into the bed, while his hands forced your hips into place,making sure you didn’t move a single inch without his permission. You’d lost count of the amount of times he’d cum inside of you by now, it must’ve been a dozen times, but again, you weren’t keeping count. Although, by how sore you were and the combination of your dizziness and about a billion other things overstimulating you, you had to guess this had gone on for quite some time. 

You could feel his hot breath fan against your back, feel the way he so easily slid in and out of you, but most of all you couldn’t escape the feeling of his cum spilling out of you the moment he pulled out entirely. You gasped at the sudden sensation but before you could cry those pathetic tears, Albedo had leaned off of you slightly and stroked the side of your face, hushing you softly as he did. 

“Shh, it’s okay. Just take it. That’s it, that’s my good girl.” He whispered into your ear. 

You had no choice but to listen to him, you couldn’t even get up if you tried with how weak and wobbly your legs were. Not to mention he was still pinning you to the bed, but not for long. Before you knew it he had carefully gotten off of you, sat up, and slowly flipped you onto your back. Both of your eyes met and he smiled at you briefly. Then, he leaned down, positioning himself in between your legs, pulling you down by your thighs until you were positioned in the right spot. He leaned down and tilted your chin up so he could kiss you, this time with tongue. 

Usually, Albedo would’ve asked you for a signal that you were ready, but impatience got the better of him and without asking he slid back inside of your warm cunt. The both of you groaned at the sudden intrusion. Without giving you time to adjust Albedo continued thrusting inside of you, repeating a prayer of ‘I’m sorry’s’ as he did. He held you down as he thrust himself into you at a brutal speed. Before you even realized it he had you in a mating press, thrusting deeply into you as you cried in his arms. You didn’t beg him to stop, tell him how you were sore or tired. No, instead you begged for him to fuck you harder and faster. You pleaded for Albedo to fill you with his cum, fuck you till the only thing you craved was his cock. 

“F-fuck, baby that f-feels so good.” You moaned, stuttering on nearly every word as you shivered in pleasure. “Want you to fill me with y’er cum, get me pregnant, baby. Please?” You asked in the midst of your desperation.

You didn’t have to say another word, because Albedo had already begun pushing himself further into you (or at least he would’ve if he wasn’t already snug deep inside of you) and digging his nails into the plush of your skin. He threw his head back and let out a broken moan, still pounding into you as if he’d never felt the touch of another person. With every thrust inside of you, he clawed at your flesh like a wild animal tearing apart its meal. As you clamped down onto his length once more, Albedo couldn’t help but begin to lose control, little by little those stars in his eyes grew bigger and brighter than before. 

“Fuck, baby. Gonna get you so fuckin’ pregnant. Fuck yes.” Albedo moaned, biting down on his bottom lip to suppress the embarrassing whimpers that were hiding underneath his tongue. 

It only took a couple more pumps inside of you, a few more pleadings from the both of you, in order for him to release his load inside of you. You could feel all that pent up frustration being unleashed onto you. And as he stilled his hips, forcing you down all the way onto his cock, you remember the dizziness you felt and the way in which you never wanted this feeling to end. So, you wrapped your legs around his waist and pushed him further inside of you, or at least you tried to. Begging with tears in your eyes for what the two of you shared to never end, you rocked your body against his. Thrusting up to meet his hips, skin touching skin, and a symphony of moans later, Albedo found himself cumming inside of you yet again.

“F-uckkkk.” He moaned loudly, throwing his head back as he continued pounding into you in full desperation. “Tha-That’s it.. Take it, take it all.”

You’d never seen this side of Albedo before, and you loved it. You loved feeling his cock bully your insides, the way his usually gentle hands were now forcing you into the mattress, and especially how his body pinned you against the bed making it impossible for you to escape. You loved it, fuck did you love it. Albedo was usually so gentle and careful with you, but this time he manhandled you, took total control, and nothing got you more excited than that. 

A couple moments passed and your highs had now faded into a blissful quietness and gentle, shaky touches. The moment was perfect, sensual, and overall peaceful. It was the perfect end to a rather thrilling evening. There was a moment of comfortable silence before Albedo finally spoke up, turning to you with a soft smile.

“So, how’re you feelin’?” He asked in a genuine tone. 

You smiled and allowed your fingers to crawl up the side of his body and around the curve of his back. “Amazing. You?” You replied.

He let out a dreamy sigh as he stroked the side of your face, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m wonderful, but I’ll be even happier once I know you’re pregnant.”

His bluntness threw you off for a moment, immediately you became flustered and tried hiding your expression from him. “P-Pregnant?! I mean. Albedo, I-” 

He silenced you with a kiss and pulled away finally with a big smile, looking you deep into your eyes. “You’re so flustered and yet–” He tilted your head to get a better look at your face. “You weren’t against this earlier.” 

You were too stunned for words, you didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, but you were far too embarrassed by how much you both feared and enjoyed the thought of having kids. So, for now you’d let him tease you, laugh along with him, and hope to god this little plan of yours worked. 

[phlurrii]

I cannot sleep and I am curious about your take on this random conundrum I am faced with that I was wondering your take on because I love how you are able to depict dynamic movement and action in your art and animations.

So, I absolutely LOVE it when the typically cutesy being that is Mew is depicted as a feral godly beast and I am so utterly in love with Meau’s truly powerful design. An absolute apex predator. However, my brain is hung up on a frustrating detail. If they weren’t floating everywhere all the time how would they like… prowl? Or chase down something. They’ve got these nubby little arms and these looooong legs.

Like. I’m trying SO hard to imagine something that could anatomically work because as eery as floating can be there’s something satisfying about feeling in the weight of a creature through its gait. But all I can picture with their body shape is…hopping. Just a murderous psychic kangaroo cat god bounding towards something but like…It’s kind of silly? I’m sure irl that would probably be absolutely terrifying to see a kangaroo bouncing at you with malicious intent but… it’s hard to picture it as an intimidating movement.

The slow predatory prowl or the fast thumps of heavy clawed paws of something huge and large sharp teeth that quadrupeds have is so a satisfying in a heart racing way. I WANT a Mew or Mew-ish creature to be able to have that vibe while connected to the earth that but then I look at those LONG footers and nub paws and I…I’m left feeling like it’s not possible.

Even for Meau like…their arm to leg ratio…I don’t think it’s possible to run on all 4s. Naruto-run sure. Absolutely. All the mews and twos can Naruto run and kangaroo-hop with them leggies…but none of them move with the “tiger on the hunt in the forest” vibes. I want to make something close to that but I keep making something too permanently quadrupedal in anatomy.

Sorry for the tired brain rambling I just my brain won’t let me sleep because of it’s “How would Meau run down their prey on foot” thoughts sending me in a spiral.

You see- you see, I have the same. Exact, brain worms. Constantly.

When I made the Ancient mew, I wanted something feral, a physical threat. That happens to be psychically able to obliterate you as a side treat. In my earliest comics, I tried so hard to demonstrate she was a power house, so much so her mega evolution is entirely just… that. A massive, wall of steel. Meau tore those scientists limb from limb, literally, with her jaw. Even in mew form, she bitch slapped a nidoking with her tail and kangaroo kicked a persian. She could’ve just shadowballed them, sure, but I want that weight. That feral energy, that sense of an unstoppable force, meeting an immovable object, except it’s just one cat and they are about to flatten you.

As her design has clearly evolved, I’ve tried to make alterations that fit this feeling, that vibe of apex predator no matter the size. She’s larger then average because she’s a threat, she’s more muscular because she’s a threat, her tail is thicker, packed with said muscle because she’s a threat, her front paws are meaty and girthy because She’s. A. Threat. Her entire mega evolution is just amping up that primal energy of raw, unadulterated strength. That’s why I made it, it was my first freaking thought after I designed her XD

I was actually caught between animating a younger Meau acting like a mew or an current Meau acting like a threat. I went with younger Meau cuz we don’t see a lot of her and she’s about to come up with Noe’s arc. So if you sent me this lovely and viciously relatable brain dump 3 days ago, I probably would’ve swayed to animate feral meau XD

But, to answer your question, yes. She can absolutely hunt you down on all fours and disembowel you with her jaw, she is that untamed, wild concentration that kills with a sleek efficiency fellow gods fear. And! At the end of our current arc we’ll finally get that secondary typing reveal I’ve had planned since April XD

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

I wish there was more werelion porn. It’s always werewolves - or when you look up werelion smut it’s always furry stuff - animal on animal - which I love but would love to have some werelion stuff with the weight and intensity of giant sexy Werewolf or buff Minotaur / Orc / Ogre porn with giant cocks where they’re fucking a little smexy human lady or a hot human dude into oblivion.

Want a big smexy Lion lover completely destroying my cunny

My werelion bf taking me over 20 times a day cuz he needs to rut and put a liter of cubs into me already but tearing me open with the barbs of his enormous cock stretching me beyond measure. The smell of my blood just turns him on even further and he fucks me harder. He suckles my tits like a starved cub begging for milk.

Me going into my monthly cycle and him going feral - devouring my blood soaked juices until I’m cumming nonstop and can’t feel where I end and his tongue begins he’s eating me out so deep and hard. He has to be oh so gentle not to clamp down with his powerful jaws.

Tying me up with vines and taking me over and over again or behind a water fall telling me to scream as loud as I want because the water will drown out all my screams as he roughly takes me from behind pressing my sensitive tits to the rock wall.

Him fucking me hard against a tree and his claws get stuck in the wood but I wasn’t going anywhere anyway cuz his cock swelled in me and the barbs stuck in such a way I’m hopelessly trapped and we’re stuck there for hours just making out until we can get free.

Him curled up around my body and purring as he nuzzles me and playing with his mane / tail. His large rough tongue bathing me on every inch after a long hard mating session. He loves tickling me with his tail and watching me squirm beneath him. Him saying how good a mate I am and if I’m good maybe he’ll consider sharing and let his friends come and have a taste of me for his enjoyment.

.

[blindrapture]

SATURDAY MAY 21ST, 2011 (Title Drop From Red Sky)

12:00 AM OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING I'M ON FIRE I'M ON FIRE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT BURNS OH oh oh.. oh.

12:01 AM Sorry, I'm not on fire. My eyes were just adapting to the bright light from outside the window. It's a sheer red out there. What the fuck?

12:02 AM I’m outside now. Barefeet, shorts, don’t care. Just wanna know what the fuck’s causing all the ruckus. I can hear firetrucks. Something's on fire out there. That's why the sky is red. That's all this was. See! What'd I tell you, journal? Rapture. Bah! Just another scare. … Loud voices from back inside. That'll be my parents.

12:06 AM I didn't find them. Actually, I didn't find anyone. I'm standing here in the kitchen, and there's no more voices. The lights were on, though, so someone must have come downstairs.

12:10 AM I checked. I checked if mum was out back, having a smoke. I thought I heard noises. She wasn't out there. But something was. Out in the back garden. It was bigger than an animal, or any animal I'd expect in England. For a moment I thought it was Adam, crawling around on the grass. It looked as skinny as him. And the smell… I shut the door when I saw eyes reflecting light, looking my way. And then I went back up to my bedroom. I.. need to calm down. I need to get back in my headspace. Nothing is happening. It could be pranks, it could be my own anxious mistaken eyesight. I'm scared of spiders and dogs. Of course I'm going to be scared. I need.. to put this journal down. I'm fooling myself. I need. To. Watch some porn.

2:00 AM Okay. Fuck. Now I do need to write. I’ve been hiding in the bathroom for a really long time now. I can’t just sit here and do nothing while that thing crawls around my house. My fucking leg's bleeding. Getting freaked, calm down Jordan. Fooling myself. Jordan Dooling myself. Retrace my steps. Porn was lovely. Chatted with Bones on AIM. Heard walking around in the kitchen, figured it was mum or dad or Adam. Someone getting back from having a look at the fires. So I went downstairs, I wanted to clear this all up. It wasn't my family. It was the thing from the garden. It's a crawling crawly thing, it's a person with bright eyes. It, he, scratched me. Wasn't too bad. I was already running, it only grazed me. Because. This is just some person in our house. This is ridiculous. This is utterly ridiculous. I’m gonna deal with it.

2:10 AM I made it back to my room, at least. I was able to sucker the fucker in the back, I hit it with my elbows as hard as I could. It’s not a person, I think I can say that much, maybe it’s a kind of mothman but without the wings or some shit, okay there’s something uncanny about no just shut the fuck up

2:22 AM Door’s barricaded. I think. Got chairs and a desk up against it. I don’t hear it trying to break in or anything. Is this Rapture? It’s a goddamn animal that I simply do not know, probably the feral animal that inspired that story “The Rake.” I always thought that was a bit of a weird name, but then again I also liked that about it. Its claws definitely resemble rakes. And I seem to recall there being some other, more archaic definition of “Rake.” So relax.

2:27 AM It’s just like killing a spider. Just like killing a I’ve never killed a spider before. Where are mum and dad?

2:32 AM It’s gone. o_o I’ve checked everywhere, the house is silent and the front door is open. Closing that fucker right away. Barricading it too. And the back door. In fact, I think I’m just gonna make sure everything’s tip-top and then I’ll.. see if the internet will offer any consolati explanation.

3:04 AM I wonder if anyone will see my Facebook status as just an ironic comment. “THE FUCKING RAKE JUST ATTACKED ME, THE SKY IS RED AND I AM SCARED.” Eh, hopefully not.

3:30 AM MOTHERFUCKING COCKROACH THAT THING’S THE SIZE OF MY HEAD crawling on the wall in the corner of my FUCKING room and this is JUST a FUCKING cockroach I can DEAL WITH THIS Fuck my fears. Okay? Fuck. My. Fears. It’s just you and me, cockroach. You’re going down.

3:33 AM God, I’m tired. Starting to fall asleep. sllee pn.ow

9:42 AM I woke up feeling something licking my hand. Thought it was Oscar, so I petted it. It ran off, then I remembered I haven’t seen Oscar since I was in America last August. Can’t see out the window, it’s like a beige curtain on the outside or something. Well here I am, writing in my little diary again. Journal. Thing. I just saw a spider the size of my foot. I think it had two heads. Might have been sleep paralysis. The weirdness did not go away overnight. This is the day of Rapture. This is.. coincidence or not. This is something I just want to write through. Writing has helped me through worse feelings than fear.

10:18 AM I’ve been speaking with my friends over the internet. Spoke to Danny, Fentzy, and Anna. They’re three of the people I speak to the most anymore. I don’t think every country’s getting this thing, because Danny and Anna thought I was joking, and Fentzy mentioned a Rapture but I think she was joking. I don’t know if this “End Of The World As We Know It” gig is true or not, religious shit or what-have-you, but I do know that something strange is going on in England. And I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me. But I feel oddly okay now. I feel lucid.

10:31 AM My stomach is aching. I’m so hungry. I’m going to look around the house.

10:35 AM IN THE KITCHEN

10:37 AM WHERE IS IT WHERE’D IT GO WHERE IS IT WHERE’D IT GO

10:38 AM I think it’s gone. I have no idea what that thing was. I remember some bits of orange. It looked like some kind of.. spidercat. Eight cat-legs, six cat-eyes. Big tail. FDIJFIFDFDJ

10:40 AM MY ROOM MY ROOM ITS MOUTH OPENS THE WRONG WAY

10:45 AM Okay. I shut the door on it, I’ve barricaded my door again. I hear it chirping its demonic meows, its eight legs kneading against the wall. I can’t keep being unprepared like this. I can't! What if this is all that the thing from last night was? Just a cat. A monster cat. I can protect myself from that. I need a weapon.

10:48 AM EAT SHIT AND DIE

10:50 AM BACK DEVIL BIRDS

10:51 AM Okay. Okay. I ran into my room, I grabbed the nearest blunt object I could find, and I caved in that fucker’s skull. Its legs were still crawling around without a head, so I smashed them again and again until they stopped. I didn’t mean to be so barbaric. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe this really is Rapture. Maybe it’s affecting my mind. I can see out my window now.

10:52 AM MY BLUNT OBJECT WAS A HUMAN ARM Fuck this shit, fuck this shit, fuck this shit oh my god. CLUTCHING TIGER STRIPES That is, the Guitar Hero controller. The. ..who am I talking to.

10:53 AM Sorry, Tiger Stripes. Looks like you’re gonna be shredding a different type of lick today. Looks like we’re really going Through the Fire and Flames.

11:10 AM I spent the past twenty minutes on the internet. I have a thread. On TVTropes. They’ve been giving me so much help throughout the past several months. Today, we discussed my options. A lot of the people on there thought I was joking, so they just suggested praying and aiming for the head. One person even suggested the double-tap. I’ll keep it in mind. There were a couple of people who I could tell knew I was serious. They suggested going to my nearest store, stocking up on food. Staying away from my family. They didn’t need to tell me that last one. I’ve made a habit of it by now. I told Fentzy, in case I didn’t make it out of this, that I loved her. She thought I was joking.

11:11 AM I grabbed Tiger Stripes, put on my trilby, my black blazer, my purple scarf, and I began unbarricading the front door. As I stepped out into Rapture, I made my 11:11 wish. I wished my heart would stop beating. I dunno.

11:12 AM My neighbourhood is deserted. The cars are all either gone or broken beyond repair. I can hear screaming and sounds I can’t recognize off in the far distance. The sky is a brighter red. The sun is not right. I’m holding my guitar close to my chest. This neighbourhood’s got at least seven cats.

11:13 AM I’m out of the neighbourhood.

11:15 AM I’ve made it up to the high street. There are no cars. Off in the distance, I think I can see something moving. Something huge. ..it’s humanoid. I’m running to Tesco now.

11:18 AM What was that roar I heard just now?

11:20 AM Tesco what ZOMBIES MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

11:25 AM They don’t seem too bothered that I’m here. They look undead, might not be zombies, definitely look gross, but they’re kinda just bumbling about. I think it’s time to stock up on food.

12:23 PM I’m on my way back now. I’ve got tons of soda, tons of crisps, quite a lot of Pot Noodles, and a LOT of sausage rolls. Bring it on, motherFUCKER

12:27 PM hiding in an alleyway. NO

12:33 PM OH GOD IT GOT A POT NOODLE

12:38 PM Did I lose it? Where is it?

12:40 PM Okay, I’ve been hiding out behind this house for a while. I think it’s safe.

12:42 PM Wait why am I even going back to my house? That’s not exactly a safe place. I’ll knock on this house’s door here.

12:45 PM It seems deserted. There’s a basement, but I’m not going in there; I locked the door instead. This place has a big-ass computer, fast internet. The kitchen’s full of food, too.

12:50 PM Looking out the window now. I can’t see the fuckers anymore. They're big. Like twenty feet tall, and way wider and longer. They’re humanoid.. but they have no legs. It’s just a torso with arms and a head. No face. Their skin is beige. One of the fuckers was chasing me. I’m pretty sure I recognize them from something on the internet. Like the Rake. Trying not to think about that fact. Just. Eating. Regaining myself.

12:52 PM what hang on. why do I hear music. That's. Mastodon's "The Czar." Absolutely, that's what that is. Where's it coming from?

12:53 PM It’s coming from the basement. I’m going to check it out. Opening the basement door, it's a much longer staircase than I remotely expected. Down into.. darkness...

12:57 PM God, am I not at the bottom yet?

1:00 PM The top of the staircase is right behind me. I’ve been going down for six minutes, though! What the hell? Fuck it. Okay. Won't follow the music. Will just let it play.

1:01 PM ..this isn’t the house.

1:03 PM This is a bunker. I’m in a bomb shelter. This doesn’t make any sense. I’m keeping Tiger Stripes close. There’s a big door here, a steel door. I can’t budge it.

1:05 PM “The Czar” has ended. I never did like that song all that much.Too much repetition.

1:06 PM I got fed up and whacked the door with Tiger Stripes, just once, and it just fell apart, burst into a dozen pieces. Behind it is a huge.. maze? I can see nothing but flat colours marking the walls. It’s cold here. The walls extend as high as I can look.

1:11 PM MOTHERFU Okay. Hi. Right. Was just walking on, trying dead-ends, and the floor caved in under me. Now I’m.. somewhere. I don't.. feel hurt, beyond the shock. I don't think I fell that far. But wow, that's a lot of shock. I see no walls around me down here. Above me is a hole in.. reality??? Where I fell down??? And there's nothing out there around me. I wouldn't even call it "pure black." It's not even the absence of light. It's the absence of… Maybe I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm on a patch of grass in an endless void of nothingness. Is this Rapture, then? Is this where my family went? Why don't I feel scared? I feel tense with the walking I'm having to do, but right now it all feels like a dream. It feels like, if I keep walking, I'm going to learn something. There is an artificial light in the floor shining up, lighting the grass.

1:14 PM I stepped on the light and fell even further. Down the rabbit hole, I guess. I don’t.. I landed on a rug on a hard floor, walls around me again. A big empty building. That landing did hurt more.

1:18 PM Oh god, finally, a couch. I’m gonna.. I’m gonna have a lie-down. I’m exhausted.

4:01 PM Fuck. I’m still here. I'm not back in my bed at home, dreaming the whole thing. I'm still on a couch. ..I hear voices.

4:03 PM After some looking, I traced the faint voices to behind a set of double doors some rooms away. As soon as I opened the doors, the voices stopped. Gave me some deja vu. This is a cafeteria. It’s completely deserted. There are vending machines. I could do with a drink. Some kind of juice.

4:13 PM Checked out another door, took me to a room filled with file cabinets. Pretty big ones, too. I wonder what’s inRJwedfgfEaI ..body parts. Body parts were in that cabinet. No blood, but they were still squishy and taut. There are a lot of file cabinets. I could get lost in here.

4:20 PM THE CEILING IS A GIANT FILE CABINET WHERE THE FUCK AM I

4:27 PM Okay. I swear, this is the way I came. I literally just came from this way. So why is there suddenly a file cabinet blocking the path?

4:40 PM RAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURE SMILE, YOU ARE BEING LISTENED TO :)

4:50 PM I lost my journal. Turns out it was in the first file cabinet I opened. I’m fucking lost.

4:57 PM Footsteps ahead. Who’s there?

4:59 PM FUCK WHAT IS THAT OH MY GOD WHAT WHAT IS THAT THING FUCK FUCK NO LET GOfdffjdsj

5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM 5:00 PM RAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURE WORLD ENFLAMED IN FEAR :)

5:01 PM I got my journal back. That thing’s covered in red hair. That.. that thing. That grabbed my journal. It’s just a mass, a writhing mass of red hair. It’s taller than me, oh my god, it’s tall. It ran away.

5:03 PM MOTHERFUC I fell through the floor. Again. I’m wait, what? Now I’m back in that.. couch room. Fuck it, I’m going back to sleep. Not worth it. No thank you.

5:45 PM WHAT THE WHO’S THERE huh. No one’s here. ..the TV’s on now. Jesus’ face is on. Goodie, the Jesus Springer Show. Fuck it, I get it, it’s Rapture and shit. I’m looking around. I opened the door and through it is exactly the same room. Look, there’s the TV, right there. Behind me is the same room. Ahead is the same room. The building's layout has changed. Right. Okay. ..back behind me, there’s now a door. In the floor. Dare I open it?

5:47 PM I fall down the streets all around me stacked vertical falling horizontal I see myself reflected everywhere, in every window, in every brick. Faces staring at me, and they’re all me. Trilbies scattering down paths, scarves dissolving down doors, Guitar Hero controllers being scrutinized by whatever beings hide behind my coloured shadows.

5:48 PM There’s something solid forming in the air. Is that Tiger Stripes? Can’t be, it’s black, mine’s white. I see it, but I’m not the only one. A man without a face, being led down the prison block to his cold cell, fills the room, is reflected everywhere, and is fully aware of everything in here. Does he see me?

5:49 PM I see seven secret sentences written on the walls. I hear the laughter of seven brothers. I feel seven temples prepare for the end. There's a Tower fit for a newborn, the Knights prepare as Rapture is coming. The Harlot and the Beast begin their game of cat and mouse. It’s all as was arbitrarily transcribed in some predictable prophecy long ago, told again and again (do it again) until it's finally told by someone who can tell it different. But that book closes, and the only memory I have of all of this lies on the page I just wrote.

5:50 PM A concert of the comatose shudders as Elsie Carr sings. "The capital messiah behind me who speaks in atonal chords with no key looks like a room - a dream - a wordless breath, follows me home - he's the wight hand of Death."

5:51 PM I AM AWAKE, I am lucid. I am okay. I see… trees. But I’m in a car. I’m in the backseat of a hearse. We’re driving through a forest. “The Man Who Wasn't There” is playing on the radio. Sunsetters. The sky is a darker red. Who’s driving? ..it’s a giant cockroach, as big as me, with Jesus Christ’s smiling head. For fuck’s sake. For fuck's… ..fucking fuck. He looked at me for a second, looked back to the road, then looked back a second time, his smile faltering. "Who are you?” He asked it. I don’t think I know the answer to that question anymore. He’s turned back to the road. “Doesn’t matter, not in the grand scheme of things. Rapture is coming, and you’re coming along for the ride.” Now all is silent. The doors are locked.

5:56 PM I’m going to confess: I’m scared. I am, I really am. I have no idea what’s going on. I guess the world really is ending. I guess I’m going to Hell. I guess the Christians were right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. To dad and to mum and to my brothers and to everyone I’ve ever let down, and to myself. I never seemed to grasp that life doesn’t make sense. I never seemed to get the hang of anything, and it's because there's evidently nothing to get the hang of, except for wastes of time. And now that I know this is it, I can’t help but feel frustrated that in trying to open up all I can feel is self-pity. For fuck’s sake, Jordan. Here’s to that sixteen-year-old without a clue. Take me away, cockroach hearse driver. Before I get second thoughts.

6:00 PM RAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURE IS COMING. C:

6:30 PM Everything. Everything. Everything. In its right place. In its right place. In its right place.

(New journal. I won't tell you every time this happens.)

6:34 PM I found this journal here on the roadside. All the previous pages have been torn out. Works for me! I can’t find my old journal, though. I think I left it in that car. I think Cockroach Jesus has got it. I got the door open, by the way. Turns out I just wasn’t pushing hard enough. So I just dived out. Don’t think he noticed. ..wait, I left Tiger Stripes in the hearse didn’t I

6:36 PM Walking along the road. I can still hear Sunsetters playing.

6:40 PM Oh god, it's the hearse coming back for me RUN

6:43 PM I’m hiding behind a tree. I went as deep into the forest as I thought I had to. Branches hurt. I don’t know if I’m still being chased or not.

6:44 PM RAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERWAJIJFJF RUN

6:50 PM MOTHERFUCKER GOT OUT OF THE HEARSE AND IS STILL CHASING ME

6:53 PM Oh god, I’m getting tired of running. REALLY tired. I’m waiting here, behind this tree. Catching my breath. Is he still there?

7:00 PM I’m at the roadside. Made it to the roadside. …oh, hello, empty hearse.

7:01 PM Uh.. I think we’ve hit a problem. I don’t know how to drive. …fuck it, that’ll just make it more fun.

7:02 PM I just hit someone oh my god I’m so sorry oh never mind it was just Cockroach Jesus see ya

7:15 PM I’m surprised that I haven’t crashed yet. I’m also surprised that this forest is still going. This place is huge. And the road rarely turns; I’ve just been driving straight all this time.

7:19 PM I turned the radio on, expecting more Sunsetters. I got Genesis. And, of all things, I got Genesis's first album. The one album that sucks. Fucking Christians.

7:29 PM Hello, light at the end of the forest. Where are we noh my god. A small town. Filled with naked green people? They’re all staring at me. ..I’m.. I’m gonna get out of the car. Tentatively.

7:38 PM The townsfolk are really nice. They took me in, took me to a restaurant, and are getting me some food. .w.;;

7:40 PM The waitress’ fingers were little trees.

7:43 PM This sausage roll is delicious, but the drink goes right through me. Brb!

7:45 PM Keep running.

7:46 PM Okay, I thought about it, and I have no idea why the hell I wrote “brb” on hang on who wrote that?

7:47 PM The townsfolk are all staring at me again. I’m going to take my own journal’s advice. I’m going to get out of here. I’m going to take this sausage roll with me, and then I’m going to get out of here. Where’s my car?

7:50 PM All the townspeople are gathered in their little buildings. They’re all standing at the windows, staring at me.

7:51 PM Seriously, where is my car, this place is giving me the creeps.

7:52 PM There are some people on the roofs. They’re all staring at me. The sky is turNING BLACK FUCK FUCK OW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FEET JUMP JUMP SMASHED WINDOW MOVE CAR DRIVE

8:00 PM Okay. I think I’ve driven far enough. I think I’m safe. That.. is not an easy thing to describe. It felt like the ground was drilling upwards into my feet, so I jumped, I smashed a window open, I fucking found my hearse, and I drove off into the sunset. ..well, it’s not a sunset. It’s just.. dark red.

8:15 PM I finally hit clear of the forest. ..the open sky is scattered with giant.. bats? Flying around in the red skies. Cawing. Hasn’t Rapture ended yet? It’s well past six o’ clock! That's when it was said to end! Wait. The guy who announced the end of the world lives in Florida. It doesn’t get six there until.. another three hours! Long night...

8:35 PM I’ve been driving for miles. Not a town nor a soul in sight. Occasionally, I’ll see a crashed car or a dead body, but I don’t stop. Y’know, I don’t think I’ve even seen a road sign in forever.

8:42 PM Road sign ahead. “Hell, 20 miles. Ashford, 40 miles. Sunbury, 43 miles.”

8:56 PM Hell’s coming up in a couple minutes. Everything looks fine so far, considering.

9:99 PM That’s what the car’s clock says. I think I’m in Hell now. ….oh, “999,” “666,” very clever. Funny. I don’t see any town nearOH DEAR GOD THERE’S A TARANTULA ON THE DASHBOARD RUN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR THE DOOR’S LOCKED OH GOD Well, it’s just sitting there. On the dashboard. Is it aliOHGOD IT TURNED AROUND OHHHH GOD I CAN SEE ITS EYES IT’S SO CREEPY OH MY GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK TURN AROUND AGAIN PLEASEThank you. ..uh.. what’s your name? ..it said “Ben.” Well, uh.. hi, Ben. Wanna sit in the passenger seat for me? Thank you.

The clock still says 9:99 PM. Ben, you know where we are? ..”Hell.” Gee, thanks for that.

I’m sure a couple of minutes have passed. Still says 9:99 PM. Say, Ben. Your voice sounds awfully familiar. You sound like a childhood friend. ..he says he is a childhood friend. o___o I asked him how he became a bug, but he didn’t speak. …how’d you become a bug? There we go, he responds to my writing it. ..for some reason. He says it came with the Rapture. But the Rapture won’t start ‘til 11! …okay, he corrected himself. It came with the day of Rapture. Right, that makes sense. ..how the fuck did you get to England? ..you don’t know either? Huh. Small world.

Clock’s still 9:99 PM. We’ve hit a town. Is this Ashford? No, this is still Hell. Right. Y’know, besides the whole tarantula thing, Hell ain’t that bEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE OHHH GOD WE’RE OUT OF GAS MAKE A RUN FOR IT BEN BEN? BEN?! …Ben’s being torn apart by the bear. Oh god, it’s tearing every limb apart. Ooh, the inside of the car is covered in tarantula blood. Oh god, that’s gruesome. …I should probably run.

The clocks around the town all say 9:99 PM. I stopped inside a library. The bear seems to be… transforming into a giant man. I’m going to call it the Eldritch Bear. Probably not to its face. ..faces?

The clocks are still frozen at 9:99 PM. The Eldritch Bear is chargING AT THE LIBRARY OH FUCK GLASS EVERYWHERE OH GOD IT’S IN MY LEG OW THE ELDRITCH BEAR IS STOMPING I CAN FEEL IT STOMPING OH GOD I CAN’T LOOK

10:02 PM I was saved. No, not like “Rapture” saved. I mean some guy came along and saved my ass. Like a deus ex machina. He was a man in a red jacket. Pale skin. Buzzcut and creepy green eyes. I looked up from where I was lying, and the Eldritch Bear was gone. Instead, the creepy man was there. The clock says something not stupid now. Rapture is in an hour. I’d best start walking if I want to make it back home. ..after I get the glass out of my leg.

10:08 PM Leg still hurts, but I’m out of Hell! Now I’m just walking along the road. Is it too much to hope for hitchhikers?

10:12 PM I can’t believe it. A car came along. A car. They let me on and now we’re driving. Fuck yeah, hope!

10:19 PM I got to know the other survivors. There’s Chuck Berry, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Maher, and Sandra Bullock. …so, it's a bunch of adults with code names. They said they're with the government. They don’t know how all this shit started happening, but they know about the Florida guy too-- Harold Camping is his name!-- and so they're also bracing themselves for 11.

10:21 PM We’re passing through Ashford now. Sunbury’s next. My home is next. God, there are so many zombies out there.

10:24 PM OH DEAR FUCK

10:26 PM IT JUST HIT ME WITH A POT NOODLE

10:31 PM FUCKING NO SANDRA

10:35 PM Oh my gidding goddamn god.

10:36 PM It was a Big One. Colossal head-and-torso, those things. It was a motherfucking.. one of those. It stepped into the road in front of us and stared us right in the eyes with its lack thereof. The others fled the car immediately, so I did too. And it chased me. Sandra.. distracted it for me. >_< So I could get away. Now I’m hiding out in a butcher shop.

10:39 PM I think it’s gone. Let me check. Yes, it’s gone.

10:40 PM THAT BUTCHER SHOP WAS FILLED WITH HUMAN HEADS

10:43 PM SUNBURY, I made it. I made it. Okay, I’m close to home now. If this all gonna end, like, actually end, then I want to die at the only place in England I know.

10:48 PM My time’s running out. Fuck. I’m not nearly close enough. I’m gonna start running.

10:55 PM Oh god, it hurts to run, my leg.

10:58 PM And with my dying breath, I heave a sigh of relief that at least I didn’t die without fucking Sandra Bullock.

10:59 PM …..fuck, okay, that was such a cheap lie.

11:00 PM RAPTURERAPTURERAPTURERAPTUREOUCH Fuck, that hurt. ..wait, what? Tiger Stripes! TIGER STRIPES! YOU CAME BACK TO ME! :D And hit me in the head! Please don’t do that ever again, ohhh my favourite X-Plorer, I missed youuuuuuu, ahahaha! 11:01 PM ..but.. where’d you fall from? The sky? ..the sky is still red. and nice and empty. I’m getting close to home.

11:09 PM Okay, I’ve made it to my neighbourhood. We’re pretty much home free, Tiger Stripes. I think we can take this part slowly.

11:10 PM Y’know, for a total Rapture, End-Of-The-World scenario, this isn’t half-bad. If I can keep up this luck, and see some more incredible sights, I could get used to this. With time.

11:11 PM Okay, I know it’s actually 23:11 and all, but I’m gonna make a wish anyway: I wish I had a girlfriend. Could you imagine that? The world might end with me remainingOh hey, my house is around the corner. House is close, house is close, soon can sleep and forget for a while oh house is close Just gotta step around the corner and up to the front door, turn the knob and open the dFUCKING RAKE DOOR SLAMMED SHUT SO THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT A SPIDERCAT AND WAS DEFINITELY A RAKE-Y THING. HEART REFUSES TO SHUT THE FUCK UP I can hear it snarling and slashing the furniture in there Crawling on all fours, pale and hairless and rubbing up on the walls and couches Face totally stupid I’m not gonna be kicked out of my own house like this I am going to get in there and doooooo something It’s just you and me, Rake. ohgod Tiger Stripes? Give me strength. >_o

11:17 PM HAHA okay fuck gotta board up this window asap

11:48 PM All the deeds are done. I’m in bed. Journal, I don’t know how to say this, but Tiger Stripes must be made of something way tougher than plastic. I sneaked inside, kicked over a flower vase, the Rake turns and sees me, I look into its deadlights or whatever the fuck, the Rake freaking growls up a storm and I get unsteady, and it pounces at me and I just.. I guess it was that kind of primal response? A fast swing of a blunt object, in this case a guitar controller. Crunch. That part was unmistakable. There was a definite crunch. At first I thought it was the sound of Tiger Stripes breaking in half, but.. well, it didn’t. Instead, I pretty much just blinked and then next thing I know I’m standing over a dead Rake with a mangled spine. And I’m outside my house, I’d ran outside to get closer, I dunno, 'cause see I smacked the Rake so hard that it soared out the living room window! All I could think to do was laugh. How in the name of the ever sweet goddess of science did I do that? Riddle me this, journal! ..either way, I’m keeping that freaking guitar.

(Attached to the end of that day’s journal, and in fact to the end of every remaining log here, is a piece of paper with someone else’s handwriting written on it. These were all presumably written much later. This piece of paper reads: "I don't sleep anymore; there's too much work to do. I sit here in my grand library, going over the records of the apocalypse, in search of the patterns and the sense. In such seeking, and much keeping, there is a part of salvation. And this world needs saving, no doubt about that. This log of Jordan's caught my attention for the words he thinks he dreamt. As he fell through the streets of that other world, he wrote down the rhythm that we all came to know. He never realized, as he never had the chance to read that journal again, but if he had realized, would it have changed anything? I doubt it. I similarly doubt we ever figured out exactly why some of the first monsters seemed to have come straight from the internet, but the only time I properly met the Tour Guide– the two of us electing to have coffee and talk about our experiences– I recall her offering an interesting theory on the matter. She said that maybe the apocalypse began with concepts we had created so that it could have a base from which to expand and develop newer monsters and scenarios– many of which, of course, shared significant similarities with manmade ideas– but that either way it needed to start with a base. This theory, of course, assumes that the apocalypse and the figures behind it, or the concepts, or who knows what, basically this assumes that all the bad things have a point to them. Plus the theory sounds an awful lot like the progression of the Camper, but that’s a digression for later.”)

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[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Don’t bother if you don’t want a rambling minor bit of venting or are prone to telling people off. It will save us both being annoyed.

(This is about a cat. Don’t try to lecture me about what I should do. I will just make me angry. I do not live in the idealized world most of you live in. I can agree that you should keep cats indoors, if you have that option. BUT I can also tell you that after a stable cat population has lived here for centuries I am not going to freak out because I and they are the current generation of out families stuck living here.

I am not a crazy cat lady adopting cats. I have never bought, adopted, or asked for a cat. Or really any pet, TBH.

They live here. I live here. And we struggle to survive together.

There is very little choice for any of us. I expect even they strays, dog, cat, or pig, ended up here out of desperation. And knowing a sucker when they see her. I’m just the broke idiot that will skip a meal for some beastie. I suppose I could chose to stop feeding them or something, but I am NOT a monster. It would be like refusing to feed a member of my family, and as for getting rid of them, well it’s as much their home as mine. I’m sure as hell not evicting them or breaking up the family!

Look, I’m exhausted and hurting. I had a long day of hard work, and discovered new problems to deal with. My mood is pretty rotten, partly because for all my efforts I made so little progress. Mostly I think I’m just grouchy because I didn’t get to enjoy a nice rainy, foggy day and instead just worked non stop.

If folks wanna give me a hard time for not keeping all the animals (20 cats, 5 dogs, and a hog!) inside they might as well unfollow me now, ‘cause bully me and I’ll just block you. I’m not in the mood!)

Nony, the 1/4 grown orange kitten, has discovered how to get into the house.

When he got in the first time I assumed he had slipped by me as I came in. I was exhausted, so might have missed him. I cuddled him a minute and put him back on the porch. A couple minutes later I heard a noise from the planks over the chasm to my bedroom, and there he was again!

Turns out the floor collapsing more has created gaps the canvas I put over it no longer quite reaches. He was running out through the cat flap on the porch, round to the other side of the house, and going through some gap on one of the vents (which I have had to keep shut to keep the critters out), then leaping up to grab the canvas and climbing through the gap.

I’m impressed. And frustrated.

The house is already a disaster, with the collapsing floor leaving very few places to walk, the rotten walls with occasional mushrooms growing out of it, the fact that the door to my bedroom literally fell off… The idea of having an indoor pet is insane. Hell, I am almost living outside with them. I keep threatening to move into the dog house since it’s warmer on cold days!

These are farm cats, a population that has stayed stable at about 20 all my life and whose ancestors have been here for probably centuries. Some are full on feral, and a pain in the ass to take care of (and one is a monster that claws everyone, feline or human, that gets within two feet!) Even the very cuddly ones (Like Nony, Daniel, Saw, Waddles, YowYow, Bobbi, Ash….ok, that’s a lot of them LOL) I only let indoor supervised. They are no more domesticated and well behaved than I am. My house may be a total wreck but I’m not having someone piss behind the stove or use my bed as a scratching post.

Anyway, I can’t afford a new canvas, and when I do finally it is going to have to be for Ryoga’s (pig) roof. (I BADLY need a new one for him.) So I took a trash bag and duct tape to the worst gaps.

Nony is yelling now. He wants in, though I suspect he is hoping to get some of the canned food I have been using with Daniel (for his meds, so I feed it to him in the house). Much as he purrs when I pick him up, I doubt love would have him so desperate to get in!

[numericalbridge]

Title: Mallow (part 2/3)

Fandom: The Owl House

Rating: G

Word count: 3414 (Full fic - 9340)

Main characters: Darius, that one little abomination (Mallow)

Other characters: Eber, Raine, Luz, various palismen; in the first part - the previous Golden Guard (Virgil)

Summary:

An AU where the little abomination was the previous Golden Guard's palisman

[part 1] - x - [part 3] - [full story]

4. Introductions.

“What is this? Who is this?” Eberwolf chirped and pointed at Mallow’s hiding spot.

“Nothing, it’s just…”

“I can smell them!” Eberwolf sniffed the air, intentionally loud. Darius cringed. Disgusting.

“It’s just an abomination of mine. Useful for certain types of covert work.”

“Nah, I can smell the difference. The old wood, hiding under the goo. Smart.” Eberwolf grinned, pleased with herself.

Darius considered her. They were tentative allies for now, and he thought he could trust her… for the most part. “Trust no one in the Castle,” Virgil would’ve said. Open up to no one. And trusting her with Mallow especially…

“Come out, little one,” Eberwolf barked. Then she whistled. Loud.

“What’s this accursed sound?” Darius scrunched up his nose. The damned demon was capable of making noises that would awaken the Titan himself!

“Palismen love the whistling,” Eberwolf chittered. “Oh, Hell-o!”

Mallow emerged, blinking sluggishly in the light of the room, and slowly toddled towards Eberwolf, evaluating her with their perpetually serious green eye. Then they looked at Darius.

“Mallow, this is Eberwolf the Huntsman. She is my ally.”

Eberwolf yelped happily. Mallow considered her in silence. They were thoughtful just like that.

“And this is Mallow...”

“Hi, hi, hi! Nice to meet you,” Eberwolf greeted in a sing-song... growl… and offered them her paw.

Mallow blinked, nodded to Darius, and retreated back to their hiding spot.

Eberwolf stared, crestfallen. Perhaps even a little hurt. Her ears flicked.

Darius snorted, “Oh, they are not like one of your obedient beasts. Mallow doesn’t trust just anybody.” He considered his nails. “I’m sure it’s nothing personal.”

Eberwolf turned her head away. Her ears twitched and lowered in embarrassment. Or shame. Ah.

Ugh, perhaps Darius was far too generous for his own good: “Don’t worry too much about it. They clearly accepted you in their own way.”

Eberwolf gave him the side-eye.

“They don’t really have much experience working with others. So if you want to work together with them, you should be considerate and… Wha...” She was climbing onto his shoulder. She was climbing his cape.

“Stop this immediately!” he spat.

“I just want to hear you better,” she sang innocently.

“No! Behave yourself, you’re acting like some... feral mutt!”

Eberwolf growled into his ear.

“Get down!” He tried to shake her off. “What a nerve!”

She was doing it on purpose! Moreover, he spotted Mallow’s green eye following them with an almost amused expression. Traitor.

----

Something is changing again. Mallow doesn’t know whether they like the change. Before, Mallow and Darius were the same: disconnected from everyone, but united in their strange alliance. Now there are others. Darius is talking more, in a weirdly animated way, and Mallow doesn’t understand what this change in him will bring. In the past, when he was alive, Darius didn’t pay Mallow much attention. He called them ‘cute’, but they weren’t his ally.

Now Darius has new allies.

----

“Foxglove, no! Stop it!”

The fox was clawing at the wall of Virgil’s old Latissa hideout. Titan-damn, Raine and their palisman.

“Rein in your fox!”

“He’s just curious about something,” Raine replied lazily, zero apology in their voice.

“It’s because of Mallow,” Eber offered from the bunk bed where she was lounging and sharpening her claws on a whetstone.

“Mallow?” Raine raised their head and adjusted their glasses, curious.

“Yes, I suppose I should introduce you now,” Darius decided. “Since you’ll be working with them. Just control your uncouth beast.”

Raine clicked their tongue. Foxglove trotted up to them and circled their legs excitedly.

Darius knocked on the secret panel, and it slid aside. Mallow stepped onto his palm.

“Mallow. Raine Whispers.”

Mallow squinted at Raine, then looked up at Darius, questioning.

“What? Yes, this is the Raine I’ve told you about,” Darius admitted in a low voice. Can’t let Raine hear.

“A palisman?” Raine leaned forward to have a good look at them, Foxglove yapping from the floor. “I didn’t know you had one.”

“Well, I don’t,” Darius replied. “Mallow’s not mine.” He set them down on the big table in the center of the room.

Mallow warbled. Foxglove yelped something at Raine that made them look at Mallow even more intently. “Oh?”

Mallow cooed. Eber was staring too. Darius’s ears twitched. Were they all onto something he didn’t know?

“We are working together. I’ll use Mallow to send you and your associates – students or whatever – messages. In the Castle too. You understand?”

Mallow waved at Raine. Eber groaned – still bitter about Mallow’s standoffish attitude towards her.

Raine either wasn’t convinced of Mallow’s abilities or they didn’t get what ‘the palisman is not mine’ meant. Their eyes glinted mischievously. “Why do they have your… em… hair, then?” they asked.

Darius groaned.

“Because,” Raine continued, “I remember you’d thought that Alador’s miserable rat was, I quote, ‘cringe’?”

Darius sighed. Checked his gloves for dust. This meant ‘don’t ask me any more stupid questions, don’t give me a headache’. “Stop being silly, Raine. The hair… that was to make them blend in with my other abominations.”

Mallow warbled again, fast.

“Ah, yes,” Raine grinned, “because all your other abominations having the same hairstyle as you is absolutely not…”

Foxglove yapped and growled.

Raine blinked. “Oh? Emergency operation? Ah, really? He saved you?” Raine addressed Mallow this time, but Darius noticed the quick look they gave him. What was that? Surprise? Of course it was…

“That was very sweet of him,” Raine grinned wider.

Eber jumped from her bunk bed and hopped up to the table. “What? What happened? Because Eber wasn’t told the full story,” she demanded.

Darius paid her no mind. Raine… “How do… how would you know what happened to Mallow?”

Raine reached down and scratched their palisman behind his ears. “Foxglove told me. They have very deep connections of their own, you know? The palismen.”

Darius looked at Foxglove. Then at Mallow, propped up royally on the table, their eye glimmering mysteriously. Darius often wondered, perhaps a little obsessively, what were they thinking about. What do they know?

And now even Raine, who was willing to let him and Eber die just a few weeks ago, could understand them? Raine would have happily destroyed Virgil’s legacy as if it is nothing.

“Wait, how do you communicate with them?” Raine suddenly asked.

“I… we just sort of guess?” Darius squirmed under their stare. No, he couldn’t be bitter over a palisman that wasn’t even his. No way. “They can sign a little, and they can point at writing or pictures to communicate with me. We have a perfectly fine, well-thought-out system,” he assured them.

Mallow nodded sagely.

But this wasn’t a real bond, Darius guessed, looking at Raine and their fox. Was it disappointing for Mallow? Painful? It wasn’t even like the connection Eber had with her beasts.

“Ugh, time to go back,” Raine sighed heavily, checking their scroll. “But I’m looking forward to seeing you again, Mallow.” They winked at the palisman.

Mallow waved at them and then at Foxglove.

Eber copied Raine, but Mallow ignored her as usual. It was a sort of a game between the two... or so Darius hoped.

He translocated Raine and Eber back to their places. Then he finally was able to sink into the bed, groaning.

“Praise the Titan, now I can rest,” he grumbled to Mallow. “But, oh, that bard and their Foxglove…” Of course they had been hiding their palisman successfully, didn’t have to give him up. Just like a real hero.

A tug on his cape. “What?”

Mallow signed: “There is another.”

“This again?” Darius had assumed Mallow meant Foxglove, but now it seemed that they thought there was a different hidden palisman in the Castle, and for some reason it made them nervous.

“Are you sure?”

Mallow nodded, agitated. A bird, very old. A boy.

Darius put his chin on his hands, thinking: the youngest scouts and staff… that one weird guy Steve – it seemed like he wasn’t a complete doormat…

Mallow was very persistent and kinda upset about the palisman, but the limited communication between them just wasn’t enough.

Darius felt another headache coming on. “Well, maybe you can explain all this to Raine’s palisman, and then he will tell them, and then, finally, they will inform me.”

He wasn’t showing his bitterness, right?

“What? Don’t give me that look. I saw it! And don’t pull so hard on the cape, thank you very much!”

Mallow glared at him, then crossed their arms and turned away. Pouting. Or just thinking about something. How could Darius tell?

This was Darius’s closest ally in the Castle for years! Yet, Darius realized, even they were as distant from him as everybody else. What could they be thinking about? He couldn’t even guess.

A palisman, not his own. A rebellion where he was playing a villain. When he was little, he had a bond even with his damn rust-toothed cat. Now?

This was probably concerning. Disturbing even.

Was this what the look Raine gave him after he introduced Mallow was really about? Of course, Raine had had the luxury of staying away from the Castle for so long. They still were able to get bothered and to worry about their secrets from Eda and all that nonsense. Acting like a nice person. Teasing him, like they weren’t looking down on him for all these years.

Eber claimed they were ‘buddies’… Yet just how well did they know each other, really? Darius was always annoyed, and his particularities clashed with hers. How long would she tolerate him once the rebellion is over?

Does any of this matter? The rebellion and the Day of Unity were the only things that mattered. Virgil would’ve thought so too. Looking up to a witch who is long gone.

And what kinds of relationships and bonds did Virgil, ever so secretive, have in his life? Darius wondered, tickling Mallow with an abomination tendril, the way they usually liked. But they were still pouting.

Only the Day of Unity mattered right now. Don’t waver, don’t doubt, don’t get distracted.

Finally Mallow shuddered and tried to push the abomination away, cooing with what – for them – was laughter.

----

There is another palisman in the Castle. He is old and independent in a way that almost scares Mallow. He calls for them just like the others, but there is something else. The loss. It frightens them – the connection so unwanted, yet so familiar.

But it’s all right. Mallow doesn’t want to talk or bond or chirp. They are all right. The others – their brethren in the forests, the bird in the Castle – lose someone, and they find new connections. But Mallow has their job to do.

The Big Day is near, and Darius seems busier, more haunted. Mallow has their own duties – spying, watching, conveying. Always one step away from the Monster of the Heart Room. So it’s all right, even if the promised big changes scare them so much that sometimes they almost forget his wish.

----

Darius was surprised to find the human child in the kitchen in the middle of the night. His aunts surely would have made a great fuss and send her to bed immediately, but, honestly, he had no energy to argue with yet another teenager.

“Are you supposed to be awake at this hour?” he asked just out of obligation. “Any responsible adult would greatly object to you staying up this late. And you will probably fall asleep during the day,” he added.

The girl raised her head. She looked very young and very tired. That little outburst of hers over Eda must have been exhausting. Darius couldn’t imagine how she managed to find the energy to get all aww-y over Raine and some stupid team name… Perhaps Raine does actually possess some kind of teacher’s intuition.

Darius put his hand under his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Although I suppose Eda isn’t one to reinforce the curfew,” he noted. Has Eda actually managed to become some kind of responsible adult? he wondered.

“Oh, I just wanted to sit with…” the girl gestured at the egg-shaped palisman carving on her lap. “I’ll stay just a little longer, if it’s all right?”

Yes, there was a stark difference, Darius decided, between her chirpy, bouncy attitude from before and this more subdued, almost depressed demeanor.

“Hmm, so this is your palisman?” he asked.

“Well, yeah,” she perked up. “They haven’t hatched yet. I decided to give them a chance to decide themselves what to be, right?”

“An interesting choice,” Darius conceded. All he wanted was a cup of char tree tea to drive away the headache. Just two more days… Two more days, and then... it’s over?

“And I wanted to ask,” the human raised her hand like she was in school. “Ah, is this, like, your super secret cool spy hideout or…?” She looked around, as if distracted by a completely different thought. “Because there are all these cool weapons around, and King will, maybe, want to play with them when he isn’t so tired…”

Darius tensed. “No, those aren’t mine.” Should he really explain this? “And I’m just using the place. It used to be Virgil’s… my late mentor’s apartment. He liked to collect old weapons.”

Or he was preparing to arm himself and others in an insurrection against the throne. And was Darius really going to blabber on about his dead mentor and the good old days to this human child? Right now, just before the Day of Unity, when he needed concentration and all the rest he could get?

But the girl sat up like she was waiting for a story. What would be the point? At least when Terra recounted her youthful adventures during the Coven Head meetings, there was always some sort of bloodthirsty moral to it.

Don’t get too attached, it will hurt you and twist you into something you won’t like. Here, the moral.

“But those weapons are certainly not toys,” he forced himself to say instead. He hoped this marked an end to the conversation. He turned to rummage in the cupboard.

“So, was your teacher a rebel too?” The girl certainly didn’t get the hint.

Was he? A rebel? Darius didn’t know. He certainly imagined Virgil as a rebel, but that was just a guess poisoned with sentimentality. Mechanically, Darius pulled a cup from the cupboard. A mournful green eye stared up at him. Mallow! How did they get in there? Were they listening? Did they understand?

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Did I ask the wrong thing?” the girl practically leapt out of her seat, fumbling with her palisman carving.

Mallow. The girl. Whatever. He could do whatever Raine could do.

Darius slowly turned the cup upside down, and Mallow fell out.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not a big deal. Please, stop apologizing! He’s gone, and that was a long, long time ago. I don’t know where his true loyalties lay, or what his real motivations were.” Mallow might know. Maybe even other palismen. Darius nearly laughed out loud at the thought, but stopped himself. Ah, yes, do what Raine would do.

“This is Mallow, by the way. His palisman.” He stepped aside so that she could see. “This is Luz the Human, the Owl Lady’s ward... And her future palisman, I suppose.”

“They are sooo adorable!” Luz made a gesture as if to pinch Mallow’s face. “Who is the adorable squishy?”

Mallow cooed, mildly offended.

“Aww, do you work for the rebellion too?”

Mallow nodded solemnly.

“Well, they have a talent for, as you would call it, spy work,” Darius explained. He was glad that the talk about Virgil was seemingly over, yet a part of him, he realized with disgust, yearned to reminisce more. This wasn’t the girl’s problem, though. Judging by her reaction to Eda’s capture, she knew all about loss. How strange, to picture Eda in Virgil’s place. It would have been unsettling to imagine someone in his own role. Trapped by one’s own mind.

“But they are not your palisman now?” Luz asked suddenly, frowning in her sad way. “You don’t have a palisman?”

“No, as I’ve said…” What was on her mind? Her thoughts seemed to move from one thing to another very fast, and he couldn’t follow. And why was this reminding him of that old conversation? Should he talk about his cat now?

“A-ah! I know! Have you heard – I suppose you should’ve, being a Coven Head and all – we have a program at Hexside now, adopting out the palismen who had lost their witches or demons,” she jumped up again, excited. “Sooo?”

“So?” He supposed when everything would be over Mallow might want to find someone new. It would be good for them. Darius didn’t look at them. Then, the last reminder of Virgil will be gone. But Mallow wasn’t Darius’s property. It was ridiculous and cruel to feel bitter. Yet he couldn’t look at them…

“So you can adopt Mallow as your own palisman!” Luz threw her arms wide as if already celebrating the adoption.

Darius startled, yet again strangely and vividly reminded of Virgil. But could he? He met Mallow’s eye. Their expression was as unreadable as ever.

“No.” The connection, the one Hunter had spoken about, the one between Foxglove and Raine, it just wasn’t there. “I think our situation is different.”

“Oh.” Luz’s face fell for a moment, as if this was, somehow, her fault again. “I… I see…”

Darius leaned back against the kitchen counter. “It’s not like it’s a bad thing,” he said. “We already work very well together. Right, Mallow?” They nodded and murmured.

“And…” Darius threw a deliberately exasperated look in the direction of the doorway that led to the main room, “unlike my other colleagues and co-conspirators, Mallow is well-behaved and isn’t prone to bringing in dirt from outside. They definitely have more sense than some people I know.”

Luz giggled, and Mallow muttered in agreement.

And, perhaps, it really wasn’t so bad? Was it weird? Darius supposed it was weird, to seriously ally himself with his dead mentor’s palisman... but it wasn’t bad; and with Eber and the rest of them – he supposed he should’ve given up by now on not being weird. And, if it wasn’t for Mallow he would have…Did he need that special magical bond to connect with the creature? He just wished he knew their thoughts on the matter.

“We can work with what we have…” he concluded. Would have…

“Oh, I get it, I think…” Luz said, now contemplative.

“Still, I wish this little guy would hatch soon,” she added, looking down at her palisman carving and patting it gingerly. “Is it bad? Am I impatient? Or, like, selfish? But humans don’t have palismen, so what if…” she trailed off. What if I did something wrong?

Darius shifted uncomfortably. Titan, even navigating the Coven politics was so much easier than this. “Well,” he started. “You are young, so it is natural that you are impatient…” He knew how to shut his fellow Head Witches up, how to spot a trap… but this? This?

Mallow warbled and gestured with their arms.

“What? Well, I am glad to announce that, if I understand them correctly, Mallow doesn’t seem to think that there is anything wrong with your palisman. So that’s not a problem.”

Luz raised her head. “Ah, thank you, Mallow,” she muttered awkwardly.

Darius hesitated. “And there is nothing selfish in you wanting this, I am sure anyone will tell you the same thing. Look, even adults need time to sort things out – just ask Eda!”

“Yes, I suppose,” Luz looked contemplative again, gently cradling her palisman.

“Now, child, go to bed, it’s too late,” Darius remembered that it was the middle of the night. He made a shooing motion with his hand. “I swear, if my aunts were here, they would have given you an earful.”

----

If there is a change, if there is someone who will call to them again, who will find them again… Mallow trembles at the thought. Is there a future if the Monster is still in the Castle, and his voice still calls to them and orders them to run and hide?

Yet isn’t the Castle their home? The Castle is not as terrifying as the Forest of the Voices or even Latissa where they were given form.

Yet the Castle is a trap.

Both their home and a trap.

[fluffallamaful]

c!Dream goes feral in prison right after Techno disappears and Quackity promises to kill him when he returns — partially due to stress, partially due to some side effect of the typical Time-Travel AU stuff we keep using. Time-Travel Shenanigans happen and everyone-but-Dream remembers the future, Sam wants to help him now, yadda yadda. Problem is that now Dream is refusing to leave his cell and clawing at people like a feral animal. Sam wisely backs off and he and some others eventually decide to slide in animalistic furnishings for Dream to arrange as he pleases. He builds a nest and eats meat and all that.

And then he lays eggs.

Dream LOVES his eggs. He purrs around them and cuddles them and screeches if anyone dares to get close — but he’s also way easier to care for now because he’s always settled with his eggs. His guards-turned-zookeepers are incredibly grateful for those stupid eggs, and growing fonder and fonder of them by proxy. But then something goes wrong and nobody knows why, but Dream is suddenly kind of a wreck. He’s hissing and whining and trying very hard to do SOMETHING. He keeps trying to care for those eggs but it becomes very clear that something is WRONG.

The guards eventually decide that they need to take his eggs for a proper medical examination.

Dream loses his SHIT. But they have to do this because they have to make sure the eggs are okay, but they can’t explain any of that to Dream when he’s like…this.

Once the eggs are gone, however, Dream starts wailing. He’s bawling and shivering all over and trying to crawl into the lava after them and eventually just lying on the floor sobbing his fucking eyes out because those were HIS. THOSE WERE HIS! And what are they doing to his eggs??? They’re gone, they’re gone! He couldn’t do anything! Ponk is taking care of the eggs, but that leaves everyone else watching the cameras or just sitting in the cell and watching in person as Dream just loses his mind over his missing eggs. It’s really hard to watch. Nobody wants to see him like this.

So someone gets the courage to try and tickle the devastated feral mama, both to distract him until his babies get back and to comfort him — or at least to get him feeling anything that’s not…THIS.

?

eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs WEEEEEE!!!! finally have time to answer this weewoooweewooeeoo

idk why but it just feels right to give cdream some eggs to look after 😂 also for those of you a little bit squeamish with egg-laying out there (lmao), rest assured that the way dream creates the eggs can be entirely up to interpretation. he could simply magic them in as a form of comfort. perhaps they just appear one day, drawn out by his feral animal-like state. the way the eggs get there isn’t important

(more below)

🦙🦙🦙…

in saying all of thissss… i’m a little bit of a sucker for the biology here because ffs i am possibly in my 3rd year of a zoology major lmao. but for some reason i’ve latched onto the potential reason as to why dream’s eggs appeared, and why ‘something has gone wrong’

here are some cool things that happen in the animal kingdom;

kangaroos are able to pause their baby’s development (as an embryo) if the surrounding environment isn’t up to standards (eg. a drought)

mammals can undergo phantom pregnancies where they start doing all the crazy hormonal things like creating nests and what not in preparation for their babies

when chickens want to be mum’s they go ‘broody’, which means they start gathering eggs to sit on and hatch. it’s similar to the phantom pregnancy in that they start almost pretending like they have babies

so if we combine all of these,, perhaps a change in cdream’s environment (techno leaving) somehow kicks him into a parental hormonal state, that basically turns him crazy. it doesn’t matter what he does, he can’t seem to shake the need to get to a much safer place than the cell he’s in now. and so he starts crawling up the heckin walls

thankfully sam and quackity are more understanding than previously (time travel au, yarda yarda), and actually want to find a way to help dream. and moreso, they thankfully both understand the importance of environment. specifically, they understand how comforting a nest can be.

so they start giving dream pillows and blankets and so many cushions and soft things to work with. they don’t place it out themselves, they just let dream collect up the materials and decorate his cell himself. and for a while it works, especially once the eggs appear 🥺

it’s like dream gets a moment of relief. he sleeps for days, curled around the eggs. he barely claws at the walls and he barely leaves his bed of pillows (like a broody hen. you’re not going to hear the end of me when it comes to chickens)

but then something goes wrong 😭😭 ohhh doesn’t it always 😖😖😖😭

so basically my thoughts were that perhaps the parental instincts and the egg laying came about as a form of comfort for dream? i think i might draw the line at the eggs hatching for the purpose of my blog? purely coz i’m way too much of a biology nerd and i’ll try and make it way too accurate lmao 😂. like my god this is not the space to discuss pathogenesis :,) but perhaps that’s the thing that ‘goes wrong’? dream realises they’re not going to hatch in the first place? and he becomes super distressed about it (so happy to hear where you were going with the eggs problems anyway, i just might not go into detail that much when i respond).

AND SO YHEY TAKE HIS EGGS AWAY NOOO 😭 poor mumma dreammmm 😭

he’s left an absolute mess in his cell. he’s lost his comfort and his instincts are telling him to sacrifice everything for the eggs ☹️ and so someone comes in to try and snap him out of it with tickles 🥺 like soft reassuring tickles to start off with, so not to startle him. but then slowly upping the pace as the usual dream starts to fight his way through the pained other one. he gets the logical tickled back into him 😌

🦙🦙🦙…

[detroitbecomeyandere]

Hey There Little Red Riding Hood.

Werewolf Gavin x Little Red Reader.

You wrap the fresh bread in soft cloth and place it gently in your basket along with a bottle of mead, herbs and vegetables from your garden and some dried and fresh meat. The weather was starting to turn chilly and as the only other member of your family it was your responsibility to look after your aging grandmother in times like these, she was still the same fiery woman who has raised you after your parents died. But just because she thinks she's a woman in her fifties doesn't mean her body agrees, the seventy year old had pain in her joints and hands whenever the weather turned cold and could hardly cook for herself. Glancing out your window you see the sun was starting to set but there should be more than enough time to get to grandmother's before dark. Slinging your red cloak around your shoulders and locking your home you set off into the woods.

You know this path so well you could walk it blindfolded, the scenery is so familiar it almost felt more like home than your actual house. The leaves have begun their change and the whole forest just feels warmer despite the nip in the air, perhaps you'd stay with grandmother this winter to enjoy the snow covered woods. You pull your hood to keep the cold from making your ears chapped and start to hum to yourself completely unaware of the hungry eyes following you.

Gavin follows you closely never losing sight of you, everything about you is devine and he had thought so from the moment he saw you. He was a recluse and lives deep in the woods by himself never wanting contact with the village closest to him but every now and again he needed to trade pelts for other goods to keep him going. That's when he saw you, your big soft eyes that reminded him of a doe, your soft laughter when your friend made a joke, your scent almost made his heart leap from his chest. He knew then that you were his but he didn't approach you to worried he'd lose control so close to the full moon and harm you, he'd go to you when the time was right and until then he'd have to be content.

That was three years ago now, he always told himself that tomorrow would be the day, tomorrow would come and he'd find himself on the outskirts of the village watching you from the trees unable to approach you. So here he was again, following you to your grandmother's. Tonight was harder than ever before with the full moon tomorrow, every instinct in him screaming to throw you down and claim you as his. Gavin was about to give up the walk with you and head back home to deal with his urges there when a sudden wind blew by and he caught you on the wind, you were fertile right now. And like that every rational thought flew from his mind as his inner beast started to take over, the last bit of his humanity hanging on wouldn't let him take you on the forest floor, your first time needed to be special. So he gave your unsuspecting figure a final glance before dashing head.

Unaware of the danger you walk to the door of the home and knock, the walk had taken longer than expected due to some trees down in the path and it was dark by now. You'd have to ask some men in the village if they could clear it for you when you get back. Knocking again you hear a soft "come in" come from the back of the house, stepping inside you notice that the fire was nearly out so after latching the door you set you basket down and work to build the fire.

"Sorry I'm late grandmother, some trees were down and it was kind of a hassle climbing over them." You hear a small hum in acknowledgement and continue, "I'm going to see if Luther can clear it when I get back, I'll ask if he can bring some to you too. Grandmother have you eaten yet? I can make you something to eat, I've brought bread and meat."

In your rambling you don't notice the figure approaching you and your hood blinds your peripheral, a large hand lands on your shoulder and you are pulled from the hearth and spun around.

Gavin hears your heart speed up as you come to the realization that this was not your grandmother, you start to scream and push his arm away but he wraps his other arm around your waist pulling you into him and forces his tongue down your throat. With strength that impresses you the stranger lifts you with the one arm and sits you down on the nearby table. When you start to run out of air he pulls away and sweeps everything off the table and onto the floor. In the warm light of the fire you see the man and vaguely recognize him, he takes advantage of your shock and forces another kiss on you this one a little more tender than before. The man forces your back onto the wood beneath you and starts to bunch your skirts up to your knees and just like that your fight is reignited and you pound against his chest.

When he pulls away a string of saliva connects the two of you, one of his hands catches your's when you try to scratch his face. His other hand holds your face as his thumb sweeps across your bottom lip and mumbles to himself "What soft lips you have, the better to kiss."

"Stop please.. where is my grandmother. You didn't hurt her did you!"

He buries his nose into your neck and inhales "How kind you are, here you are pinned underneath a beast and all you can think about is your sweet old granny." His teeth graze your skin as he grinds his manhood onto your clothed cunt, "Don't worry sweet one, she's safe." He pulls away from your neck and pins your hips down to the table, taking your skirt between his teeth he pulls it to your waist and glances up at you. "I really wanted to wait, but you are just so tempting. You should really stay out of the woods so close to a full moon sweetling. But I know you'll forgive me for being selfish just this once."

And with that he disappears between your legs and presses his tongue flat against your slit groaning as your taste fills his senses. You tasted sweeter than any berries in this forest. You grasp his hair and try to yank him off you but he ignores your pulling and instead wraps his lips around your clit and starts to swirl his tongue around it. Your spine arches as a jolt of pleasure shocks you, you've never felt anything like this and your body welcomed it relaxing into his grip. Gavin hears your heart go steady and he knows he has you, he prods your entrance with the tip of his tongue before pushing it into you. He growls into you when he feels your walls clamp down onto him and he goes feral on you, sloppy eating you out while his thumb makes tight circles on your clit. Switching again he sucks on your bud and replaces his tongue with two of his fingers, he scissors them inside you trying to prepare you his knot.

You pull him closer to you as the pleasure starts to build to an almost unbearable tightness in your stomach. Every gasp and moan pushes Gavin into a more animalistic state. Just as the knot is about to snap he pulls away from you, you don't get the time to mourn the loss before he is pushing his swollen cock into you. The small amount of prep before did nothing to ease the burn as his cock pushed into you, your eyes water and hiss in pain when he gives you no time to adjust to him. Gavin shuts his eyes as he finally fucks you, none of his fantasies came even close to the way you feel around him.

A whimper brings him back to reality and he opens his now yellow eyes and sees tears streaming down your cheeks and your brow drawn together in pain. He stops his thrusting to cup your face in his callused hand and forces you to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry sweetling, I can't help myself. You're just everything a big bad wolf could want." He presses soft kisses to your lips and gives you a moment to calm down. Once he feels you relax around him he looks back at you, "What big eyes you have, the kind that drive me mad. Keep them on mine." His thumb swipes another tear away as he pulls out until only his tip is inside you, Gavin rolls his hips and sheathes himself fully again. His eyes stay locked onto your own as he repeats the motion several time slowly working you open and once you roll your hips back into his he picks up the pace, letting the animal inside him take over again.

The man above you terrified and excited you at the same time, your mind knew this wasn't something you wanted and yet your body succumbed so quickly, you didn't know which was the right feeling to have and all you did know was that you wanted more of him in the moment. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer to you, the trapper growled again as the angle let him in deeper and through his parted lips you saw his teeth were becoming pointed before your eyes. The surge of fear only heightens your pleasure as you feel the knot start to build again rapidly.

Gavin smells you fear and it pushes him more into animal than human as he starts to pound into you, trying to force his knot into you before it swells completely. The only thing running through his mind is "breed", the werewolf in him completely taking over as his nails grew into claws and his fangs fully formed.

At the feeling of something bumping against your opening you raise your head a little and see a knot on his cock, transfixed you watch as it grows and as it starts to work it's way inside you. The added stretch burns a little but it's soon forgotten when you see it fully disappear inside you and suddenly you feel so full that you are pushed off the edge and your vision goes white. You grasp his forearms to try and ground yourself as you cum and your eyes flutter closed as you let the sensation wash over you.

He growls as you cum around him, your walls squeeze in a vice like grip. His claws dig into the cape beneath you and he rips holes into it when he feels his knot catch on your walls locking the two of you together. He continues to rut into you trying to forced himself as deep inside as possible, once his cock head kisses your womb he cums. Gavin shoots thick ropes of cum directly into your womb and he howls as he finally becomes one with you. After painting your insides white Gavin looks back to you, your eyes are glazed as you look up at him, your skin flushed and covered in sweat. Leaning down he captures your lips again, this time you return the kiss and drop your legs from his hips as your body goes limp. Soon enough all the pleasure leaves you and your mind starts to clear and the fear from before returns.

You try to pull away from the kiss but Gavin follows your lips so you try to wiggle your hips out from under him hoping to pull yourself off of him and get out from under the man. But when you do you feel him locked inside you and he growls into your lips before pulling away slightly with a dark chuckle, "I know you must be eager for more sweetling, but you need to stay still. I can't guarantee that I won't try to fuck my knot deeper into you, let's just enjoy the moment." He wraps your legs back around his waist and lifts you off the table, the both of you groan at the position change and you have to bite back another moan as he starts walking to the back of the cottage. He lays the two of you onto the bed and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, humming back to you the song you sang on your way here.

[freyanistics]

Bestie got any hcs on Cass? Sfw or nsfw up to you 🪰

Alright let’s do this

Cassandra hcs

Incoming nsfw minors dni ⚠️

Cassandra is like those candies that’s hard on the outside but once you suck on them for a bit it’s soft on the inside. She’s a softie but only towards people who are extremely close and have made her walls go down.

She’s a bit touch starved. Yea she gets hugs from her mama and siblings but it’s not enough for her. The woman enjoys long sessions of cuddling or running her fingers through your hair or vice versus. As long as she’s getting touched or touching you she’s content

She loves dogs, especially hound dogs. Gift her a bloodhound and she’s yours forever and will beg her mother to keep it. She likes cats too but Cass is 100% a dog person. Imo I feel like she would get into breeding the best hound dogs and sell them as a side gig. Would not let Daniela near the puppies because she’ll beg her to keep one

Enjoys horseback riding. Leisurely strolling through the territory on a beautiful steed just enjoying the scenery. And if you’re with her? Even better. You could ride your own horse or ride behind on hers with your arms around her waist

Secretly thinks about how it feel like being a mom. She doesn’t hate kids but she doesn’t necessarily like them either being how loud they are. But there’s a few she enjoyed being around. The thought has run through her mind whenever you two are laid up on the bed together

She likes sensory and brain games. Ones that work on her mind and four senses. Gotta heighten those senses so they don’t die out on her

Nsfw ones now

She loves putting collars and leashes on you. You know those collars that have bells on them? You’ll be wearing that. She loved hearing the bell jingle whenever you walk, it excites her. Plus it’ll be easier to find you when y’all play tag

Will call you puppy or kitty, whichever you prefer.

Call her daddy and she’ll go feral.

Loves obedience in her partners but enjoys brats too. She loves one that is hard to tame

Expect spankings whenever you get punished. I’m talking about being bent over her lap or knee bare ass and swatted at.

Sometimes she’ll blindfold you and tie you up. She enjoys seeing your reactions to being filled up by different toys

Favorite position is reverse cowgirl

She grunts and growls like an animal in the bedroom.

Has a bit if a breeding kink.

You will be left bruised with teeth and claw marks over your body.

Doesn’t like sharing you so a threesome with any of her sisters is out the door.

[yanderenightmare]

uhm, yandere Katsuki with a small reader... like idk how to explain but fluff fear? like waking up together but all she can think about is how loud he sleeps and how BIG he is, also him being a total bitch about how small she is?

yandere kidnapper ! BAKUGO KATSUKI

Support me at KO-FI if you feel like it<3

goodiebag WARNINGS: dubcon/noncon mentions, kidnapping, abduction, abuse, degradation

PUFF

Waking up warmer than usual was something she’d gotten terribly used to. 

It had only been a couple days. A couple days in a foreign house without anything to do except prance around in what lingerie Katsuki bothered to give her, or sleep the hours away. Where which the latter was undesirable, because she’d be risking getting snuck up on by the brute predator once he returned. So, she was left walking about, dragging tired limbs through barren hallways, stopping to take in the space of each impersonal room, half-naked and cold in the marble mansion, doing nothing but dreading the time her hero came home. 

And in the absence of things happening, those moments where she was in fact preoccupied with something became so much heavier and longer than what they were in reality. Expanded, to the degree where she could pinpoint almost every single detail within the moment. 

This was one of those moments.

She wanted to focus on the bed, soft material, caky and cloudy beneath her, but it was difficult to ignore the mass behind her. His nose poking into the top of her head, nuzzling in her hair, a good measurement of knowing how close his teeth were to her neck as heavy breaths ran down her neck like a chilling breeze, ticklish and disturbing like crawling mites. His chest, rising, pushing into her back, the beating of his heart rattling her ribcage. His hands, large and so very warm, warmer than they were supposed to be, scathed like sandpaper as they scratched in their presence by rubbing her hip, arms slung around her body haphazardly, caging her, suffocating her, pulling her close, holding her steady, trapping her. 

Like a dragon protecting his treasure, she thought, but quickly discarded of the notion. It sounded too sweet. 

Katsuki wasn’t sweet.

He’d come home yesterday, coated in smog, droplets of blood flecked on his sand-skin in no particular pattern. He didn't shower, he’d only grabbed her and walked off to bed. No words shared, only whimpers and dark, disturbing chuckles. She’d struggled, as much as she could against the brute, but it felt as though he enjoyed that more. Tightening his hold until she swore she began to hear her bones ache, bristle as he squeezed the air from out of her lungs. 

She was happy she was spared his painful cock that night, but she was sure it would be a short-lived mercy.

His hold; though still strong, wasn’t as tight in the morning. She took it as an opportunity to create more space between herself and the fever-heat and blinding smell of caramel. She almost wished she could smell the blood and smoke instead, something bitter to disrupt the sickening sweet. She wished she could smell anything else, but even the smell of herself was overcome by him. She’d walked around the house thinking of it the other day, how it was almost as though he’d scented her, as though they were animals.

He didn’t take lightly to the disturbing of his slumber, grunting and growling, stirring that overbearing sense of fear inside her gut, her stomach folding in every possible way. She didn’t want to stop, she wanted to fight, she wanted to roar. He tightened his arms around her, squeezed her hip, planting her ass better against his crotch and she froze.

He smacked his tongue against his teeth. “Now what?” He coaxed. She expected his voice to sound groggy in the morning, but she’d learned in the past days, it never shed its ugly tone. “You gonna cry?” His voice sounding almost hopeful as he bit down on her earlobe, earning a gasp that along the way turned into a delicious little whimper. She tried clawing at his hand, his own nails digging into her skin. “Do yourself a favor and relax” All his taunting, patronizing overbearing words, dismissive to her discomfort, rather enjoying it, if only she could see the cracked smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. She kept struggling despite the obvious futility. “Yer’ not going anywhere, yer’ exactly where you need to be... exactly where you belong.” His tone was casual as he sucked in a breath, sighing with a grumbling growl, still sleepy, yawning behind her, comfortable when squeezing her plushie little form, keeping her close like child with a teddybear. 

But he wasn't enjoying how her legs were kicking, despite the rest of her struggles being teasingly pleasurable.

Pushed down on her back, manhandled into position, he made to move himself between her thighs. Now, with more mistaken freedom, she tried pushing him away. Foolish fists hit against the stiff muscles of his chest, until he grabbed them by the wrists and pinned them above her head. His face so much closer now, but he didn’t kiss her, still longing to hear her speak up, to beg, to plead, to scream. But he remained close, knowing how every one of his words made her heart beat that much faster, and how those especially crude words made her quiver or better yet bleat, like a little lamb beneath him.

“Come on…” He hauled out. She barely made out the words, as far hidden in the growl as they were. His voice tickling her burning ear, his head resting its heavy weight on her arm. “I know I’ve been busy, but…” He spoke as though she wanted to spend more time with him. “It’s my day off.” His voice in singsong, as if she’d be excited, the tone sounding dreadful and wrong when coming from him, dark as it was. But it earned him what he’d been wanting, that soft and struggled sniffle, breath caught in her throat, an uncontrolled shiver breaking the sweet feeble noise.

Content with what he’d reduced her to, he rested his head on the pillow beside her face, his weight laid down upon her in a lifedraining fashion. He hummed, closing his eyes, enjoying her small frame beneath him. In her rightful place, he snickered. Eyes fluttering to look at her pretty face, hand covered in dried blood and smoke as it ascended to tug a lock of hair behind her ear, his thumb stroking over her lips when he made to retract it. The state of his skin made him cringe when he touched the fairness of her complexion. It felt wrong, he admitted. 

They needed to find an even ground.

“Let’s shower, I’m dirty.” She could feel his lips on her ear now, but she was too shell-shocked to snap her head away, knowing what was coming.

In all honesty, she wouldn’t mind a shower. She’d been there a while and didn’t exactly feel clean with him spread, smeared all over her, inside her. But, he’d insisted on being so very close at all times, she was sure the same rules would apply in the shower. 

She tried her best to fight, but it was all so easy to simply grab her arm and pull her with him, yanking on her like a child with a toy. Throwing her inside the large bathroom, with strength that almost had her falling to her knees.

“Take yer’ clothes off.” He commanded, having her backed up against the cold tiles of the walls. “Or… they’re not really your clothes.” He tugged at the black fabric of his shirt, one she’d put on after realizing her own clothes were far from wearable anymore, singed as they were.

Towering over her petite shape, enjoying how she had to tilt her head a drastic degree to stare up at him. 

She was so tiny, it sent pleasurable shivers down his spine to look at her, small like a little pet. His shirt hung around her in the same way you’d expect a tent would, reaching all the way down to her knees, only barely fitting on her narrow shoulders.

She wanted to sound strong. “N- no.” It came out weak.

Snickering, he placed a hand on the wall beside her head. “I was hoping you’d say that…” His smile was so feral, she began wondering if smiles were ever a nice gesture in the first place. Katsuki seemed to do it simply to show her those large teeth stored in his mouth, teeth that could rip her throat out if he were dedicated enough. “Better you learn sooner than later just how helpless you are to stop me getting what I want.” He leaned in closer, stepping further into her space, threatening to crush her toes under the soles of his feet, his much too hot breaths striking her face on repeat. “Weak.” He spat the word, as though it were venom on his tongue. “Defenseless.” It disgusted him, distaste clear in the growl lacing his tone. “Fragile.” 

He’d not gotten exactly what he wanted. He wanted her to scream, whether it was of rage or of fear, didn’t really matter. The tears were no less satisfying though, dribbling down her cheeks, eyes glossy and sparkling.

He grabbed the collar of the t-shirt. She felt the pull, but the tear still came as a surprise. The ripped fabric, now reduced to useless singed rags, pooling around her ankles, and she found herself regretting her wish to smell smoke because the burn of the textile at her feet was not the type of bitter like morning coffee, but bitter in the way that made her eyes sting. Her knees almost gave out when his hand neared her again, his other hand placed above her head, meaning to cage her in between his warmth and the freezing wall behind her. 

Her nipples perked at once when he made contact, which made him smile, hand still hot, much too hot. He cupped one breast in his hand, much too small to fill it entirely. He didn’t seem to mind though.

“So soft…” The disdainful tone was gone, but she found herself missing it as opposed to what lingered in his voice now. “So delicate.” Lust was so terribly more frightening than his distaste. “So…” He licked his lips, a hot breath fanned over her face and goosebumps sprung to the surface of her skin. He hummed in response and she was sure she might just faint. “So sensitive.” She yelped when he pinched. “Mine.” His voice was low and rumbling, hot like raked coals. Tugging down her bottoms as well, she did little to prevent it. 

Not that it would have mattered if she did.

Support me at KO-FI if you feel like it<3

[angeli-marco-writes]

Tom Hiddleston - BAFTAs

A/N - It’s time for Tom Hiddleston head-canon time because I cannot keep my mind quiet. Please enjoy, I have no idea what this is. :) I do not know Tom Hiddleston, nor do I claim to. This was inspired by Tom at the BAFTAs.

Warnings - Panty-thieving, heavily implied smut, cursing, slight public embarrassment? 18+ rec.

Summary - Tom thieves your panties after you rile him up the night of the BAFTAs, and he doesn't anticipate the consequences of keeping underwear in his pocket on the red carpet.

Tom has a huge night. He’s at the BAFTAs, presenting, and you’re going on the carpet with him, partly to make up numbers but mostly because you’re his girlfriend and therefore he insists you be everywhere important with him. :’)

However, from the second you put on your chosen gown, things have gone severely downhill. And through no fault of your own. Well, debatable...

He growled like a feral animal the second he saw you at the bottom of the stairs, your dress hugging you in all the right places, and in his favourite colour, perfectly matching his monochrome suit. His grip on your arm became intense, even walking from your house to the car.

He looked fucking incredible in his suit with his hair long and his beard that tickles you all the right ways, and it makes him look so tall. You weren't sure how you'd be able to keep your hands off him, and you don't. You didn't even plan on restraint.

When you got in the car, that’s when things started to get worse. He wouldn’t tear his eyes off you, his hand gripping your leg brutally, his blunt nails digging into the satin and gossamer of your dress.

“What’s wrong Tommy?” you asked coyly.

“You know what.” He snarled.

“Then do something about it.”

Definitely the wrong thing to say. You’ve never heard him emit such a sound, one of such anger and barely tethered restraint.

“I have a suit to consider, my darling. It’s very expensive.”

“I dare you.” You whispered. Only because he’d be disappointed if you didn’t try.

You moved your hand to his leg next, dancing your fingers along the inner seam of his trousers. His entire body shifted, his legs clenching, his lips pursing into a thin line. Then come the featherlight kisses to his neck, nothing more than a sign of affection. But when you brushed his sweet spot, it was over.

“Stop fucking riling me up, would you?” he practically shouted. Even his driver discreetly coughed. Tom never swears.

“Tom I’m doing nothing.” you answered steadfastly. “This is what I always do.” And it was true. This is what you do every time he has an event, gently caressing his legs and kissing his neck and throat every so gently. But this time, apparently, it got to him.

“Yes but this time it’s different, ok?”

“How?”

“Because I want to take you over my fucking knee and spank you for looking so sexy, but at the same time I just want to ravish you the way I couldn’t at home because of these damn awards.”

You just looked up at him, blinking with doe eyes, thinking up your next move, your next words, but your fingers grazed him in just the right place without even meaning to, and you leaned in to peck him on the lips. You were done for the second you kissed.

“Fuck this,” he purred, slamming his mouth hotly onto yours, pushing you back onto the seat, yanking your panties off from beneath your gown, his hands instantly exploring you.

Your driver did two extra blocks so you could get yourselves sorted to actually step out and enter the event looking halfway respectable and as though you hadn’t just been fucking in the back seat.

That’s how you got here. On the carpet with your panties in his pocket, little more than a soaked, shredded scrap of silk in amongst his handkerchief and mints and phone.

You swan around on the carpet, posing with a coy smile on for all the photos, kissing Tom's cheek innocently from time to time. You keep quiet, simply his girlfriend, but you can feel his eyes on you even while he's taking photos.

You stop for a few interviews as well, only speaking when spoken to in order to profess your love for Tom and how talented he is, how honoured you are to have been invited, how wonderful it is that he's presenting a segment tonight.

Until you reach the last interview on the carpet, and in the cold, Tom turns away to blow his nose so he doesn't sound weird.

"What you got in there?" The interviewer asks, noticing that it's hard for him to get his hankie back into his pocket for some reason.

Sadly, in the moment, the one thing he direly needs to remember slips his mind, and he paints a smile onto his face, and begins to pick items out one by one.

Breath mints, throat lozenges, a tissue, air pods, a mask, a mini wallet, house keys, a pen, and...

"Oh my God." you mutter under your breath when he withdraws the last item.

You bury your head into the shoulder of his blazer, your eyes scrunched shut, but you feel the bright crimson blush burning his skin and clawing up his cheeks. You've never cringed so hard.

"Well, um, yes, so... Thank you very much, and we— yeah, we'll be off. Enjoy!" His voice is so strained on his hasty words and his clutch on you is so tight it starts to hurt as he steers you far away, and pelts it down the rest of the way, off the carpet and inside.

You're pinned against the wall the second you're out of sight, your panties balled up in his hand as he raises them to his face momentarily.

You're gushing and whimpering with his hold on your dress, and you're so exposed with just your dress on, but can't even care.

"Tom," you whisper, leaning in to kiss him. He greedily kisses you back, and is bundling your skirt up a second later.

“Think it’s funny do you? I’ll show you just how funny it is.” he growls into your ear, and you're absolutely finished.

It's safe to say you're just a smidge late for the main event...

[nightlightdragon1]

Fighting ring au Master post

 I’m completely remaking this post, so all the information will be under a readmore cause..... it’s gonna be loooong.

Children are captured at young ages to fight against each other for the adults amusement.

There are four different fighting rings

The School: residing within the Pale city, children are brought there to be tested and see if they gain powers or not, they are thrown against bullies, porcelain husks they never tire, they bombard the children continuously until the child either activates their powers (tap into a monster like form) or die, once the initial power is unlocked the beasts are brought in. This ring is owned by the teacher and is the least threatening of the other rings.

design of it is a simple wooden floor with some broken desks and chairs strewn about, walls are too smooth for children to try and flee so no netting is really necessary, and the teacher watches like a hawk if anyone tries.

Twisted beasts: once regular animals that have been corrupted by the signal towers influence. Some brought in by the scientist who made them even worse, amalgamations with not a single thought in their head, only doing whatever is commanded. 

Forest ring: A fighting ring outside of the city, This ring houses those who had tapped into their monster forms or powers, looking somewhat animalistic in appearance, the children fight with powers or claws and teeth. This ring is run by the Hunter 

appearance it’s a grassy field with trees and a lake with a river (cameras are put in the more tree heave areas and shows the fights on a big tv above the ring) Wire mesh is above the ring so children can’t climb out 

Maw Ring: This ring resides in the maw, Run by the lady, savage children are sent here, powers sometimes normally used and even weapons are used, this ring is also known to have wild and feral children because they are scarcely fed and it leads to some fights ending up with the winner devouring the dead. this ring is run by the lady.

appearance wise, its a stone floor blood splatters on the wall and bones left on the floor, iron bars and chains cover the top of the pit, giving enough view for the audience but not enough space for a child to squeeze through. 

The Zoo: (a majority of this ring was collaborated with the wonderful @adventurer-gearld so if there are any questions you are free to ask them or I can help with some input of my own) This ring is unique in it can change depending on what its being used for. This ring houses most of the wild animal children who look or act more animal than human. Most children from the forest or maw end up here when they are too animalistic to keep in their own rings. This ring is run by the zookeeper who finds a use for a child for whichever is needed, the kid can’t fight? make them perform tricks, can’t perform? then they fight. It’s rumored that the zookeeper makes the most money because of this but it can’t be confirmed nor denied.

It isn’t uncommon for the zoo to have some of their children in the same cage/enclosure as sometimes they are duos in performances.

The zoos ring changes, it could be a large foresty place with rivers and lakes, or it can look like a circus with hoops and platforms and all forms or entertainment.

The Tower: The signal towers ring is at the very center of the Pale city, this ring is the most... Interesting as alot of what happens in the ring isn’t necessarily seen on the surface, its in the fighters mind, reality is warped, fighters see their worst fears or worse. This ring is run by the thin man.

Appearance wise, its all completely white, clean, no blemishes, and a large tv screen hovering above the ring.

The hospital: The hospital works like any hospital does, fighters (at least the big moneymakers) are taken there to be treated for their more severe injuries, nomes are seen waddling around with medical tools to help heal these children until they are well enough to fight again.

Sometimes the ring leaders like to mix it up and have “double battles” where two fighters are partnered up and if one loses then the other team loses.

Haven

Haven is a place where children who escaped the fighting ring reside, it’s deep in the forest itself hidden in the trees. Raiders (lead by Phil) sneak into the rings cage areas while leaders aren’t there and staff are asleep, they open cages and lead children out to safety. Rehabilitators (lead by Alex) work with children who were rescued and bring them some type of normalcy to their lives (rehabilitators are therapists in a way, they use different methods of keeping their patient calm be it music, incense or tiring the child out in a tussle, this is for more of the physically strong rehabilitators) Guardians (Lead by Dan) they are protectors of Haven, they’ll assist raiders and lure adults away from haven and break up any fights. there is a mock scuffle ring in the center of it where kids can scuffle to burn energy if they need do (guardians keep watch so fights don’t get too dangerous) 

There is another place of interest, The lab: The lab is a place where twisted beasts are brought to be experimented on by the scientist, as well as children, some twisted creatures seen in other rings (mostly the forest) are amalgamations of creatures mashed into one, some say maniacal laughter gets heard in the halls of the lab.

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Green (Bucky x Reader)

Word Count: ~3k

***Warnings*** : Graphic and explicit consensual non-consent. It’s all pre-negotiated roleplay, but it includes fighting, struggling, spitting, scratching, the whole nine yards. 

A/N: The companion fic to Red. You do not need to read that first; this stands on its own. However, without that as an introduction, there’s no obvious indication until about two-thirds into the fic that what’s happening is consensual. 

More on this in another note at the end, but thanks to @thoughtslikeaminefield​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @katwillrise​ @mskathywriteswords​ @cracksinthewalls​ @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ @stunudo​ and the rest of the Slack squad for helping me sort out my feelings about “dark” fic, and for being a safe space to talk through stuff like this. This was really fucking difficult for me to write, but I’m glad I did. 

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

- From “Wild Geese,” by Mary Oliver

It’s just like any other Friday night, until it’s not. 

One moment I’m turning on the light in the entryway, hanging up my coat — next there’s a prickle down my spine, some primal reptile-brain instinct — 

Run! Now! 

— but there’s no time to recognize it for what it is. My body isn’t in the habit of being threatened; my body is tired and lazy, moving on autopilot through the comforting routine of Friday night. In the heartbeat between instinct and action, he pounces. 

The hand over my mouth is metal: unyielding, unliving, chilling me down to my core, and if it wasn’t for the heat of the rest of his body all down my back, I wouldn’t assume he was human. His right arm is around my ribs, locking me in place, and it feels feverish in contrast but it’s trapping me as securely as if it was iron. 

I can’t reconcile the cool metal against the human warmth, or the awful metallic tang mingled with the barely-there whiff of sweat. My mind is moving all jerky and slow. I can’t make sense of this. 

Doesn’t matter, though, because I’m trapped anyway, like a wild animal in a snare. Trying to make sense of it won’t change the fact that vicious iron jaws snapped shut around me. 

It was just like any other Friday night.

Panic clutches around my lungs all at once, adrenaline flooding in, and everything in me screams, fight back. 

I thrash and squirm in his grasp, but he has my arms pinned down at my sides, and I’m small and helpless against the solid wall of muscle that is his chest. My raw strangled gasps come out as tiny hitched sobs, muffled by metal, barely audible in the still half-dark entryway of my apartment. He leans back, hefting me up so that my feet don’t quite touch the floor any more, like I weigh nothing, and takes a few steps away from the door. 

“Don’t make a sound,” he snaps, before spinning me around, slamming me back against the wall and pinning me there with his metal hand at my throat. 

Panic makes everything sharper. It’s too sharp, sharp like the shadows cast by the angles of his jaw and cheekbones, sharp like the way he’s watching me with pale hard eyes. 

“Why — why are you here?” 

He tilts his head, considering me. 

“I was sent,” he says simply, in a low rasp of a voice. 

“What do you want?” 

Something cracks open in his eyes, like a tectonic shift bringing magma to the surface, and then the strangest expression spreads slowly over his features, fierce hunger and wild terror all at once. Fear splinters like lightning down my spine. 

“Take off your clothes,” he says quietly. “Let me see you.” 

I lash out with both hands, ready to claw at his eyes, but with his arm outstretched, he’s just out of my reach; when I scratch and slap at the metal wrist, he doesn’t even seem to notice, and when I strain against his grip, I only succeed in choking myself. Black spots dance across my vision, and I draw ragged wheezing breaths, clutching uselessly at the sleeve of his black leather jacket, still twitching and twisting feebly. 

At least he can’t undress me with one hand, I think, for one absurd second. 

Then his free hand twitches down to his side, and he’s raising a knife. Dark oxidized metal gleams in his fingers. I freeze, staring at the wickedly honed edge of it as he brings it closer, holding it up at eye level before lowering it slowly. 

The tip hooks under the first button of my blouse, and when he flicks the blade upward, the fabric separates like it’s nothing. I barely dare to breathe as he cuts my shirt open, one button at a time, with surgical precision. The knife is so close to my skin that one wrong move could slice into me. 

When the ruined remains of my blouse gape open, he lowers the blade, ready to cut through the waistband of my skirt, and my frayed nerves snap. 

“Don’t,” I blurt out. “I’ll do it. I’ll cooperate.” 

I unzip it, trying to step out of it without moving my head, still trapped by the constant silent threat of his fingers around my throat. 

He sheathes the knife so that he can push my shirt roughly down my arms. My bra straps follow; he tugs them down my shoulders and reaches around to pop the clasp open, and when it falls, he pauses, licking his lips as he gazes up and down my body, taking in the revealed skin. 

There’s a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes when they meet mine for a long, frozen moment. He draws a breath like he’s about to say something, and his grip loosens a fraction. 

I’m not done fighting. 

I spit in his face, and when he flinches, I wrench myself away, twisting out of his grasp, bolting down the hall toward the bedroom door. 

Just as I wonder whether he’s reconsidered, whether he’ll let me go, he snarls, “You’ll regret that.”

I go down hard and fast when he tackles me, barely getting my arms out in time to break my fall, and the impact sends a flash of pain through one elbow but there’s no time to think about that — no time to feel it — not when I’m thrashing and kicking and squirming — but he’s too strong, too heavy — I almost writhe away but then he rolls me onto my back — pins me, sitting on my thighs — and my fists are swinging, flailing uselessly against his face and shoulders, but he doesn’t even seem to notice — and I let out a desperate sob as I realize I’m helpless again. 

I want to scream, but there isn’t enough breath in my lungs. 

He shuffles up on his knees until he’s straddling my waist, looming over me, blocking out everything else, and he snatches my wrists as I beat my fists against his stomach and chest. His lip curls, baring his teeth in a feral approximation of a smile, and he gathers my wrists together so he can hold them in the bruising circle of his metal fingers. 

Flesh fingertips dig cruelly into the hinge of my jaw, forcing it open, and he leans forward to spit into my open mouth — something twists and clenches deep in my gut as I sputter and choke, skin crawling with disgust. 

“Not so nice, is it?” he sneers, sitting back on his heels. 

Worn black denim stretches over muscular thighs as he shifts, drawing attention to the fact that he’s hard — the thick shape of his cock is obvious, straining against the fabric.  

My eyes snap back to his face, but it’s too late. He chuckles, throaty and smug, and then he rubs himself through his jeans, squeezing roughly, making it impossible to ignore his arousal. 

“Is that what you want?” he asks — taunts — and I shake my head frantically, throat too tight to speak. He smirks and drops his hand to my chest, tweaking one nipple hard enough to make me yelp. He shrugs off his jacket, letting it fall, and light catches the dark metal plates of his arm. 

Hot stinging tears well up and roll down my temples, blurring my vision, but not before I see his fingers on the button of his jeans, popping it open. 

“No,” I choke out. “No. Please, please, please —” 

He has to move to shove his jeans down, has to let me go for a moment — a fresh wave of adrenaline surges up with sickening speed, and I scramble back, twist, flop onto my stomach — it’s graceless and uncoordinated but I’m not giving in, not yet. I’m army-crawling out from under the cage of his body and I’m almost free — almost — but before I can get up on my hands and knees he’s yanking my panties down. 

Panic rises to a crescendo. 

I shriek — thin and pathetic even to my own ears — too frantic to even see straight, and then my breath is punched from my lungs as his hand slams down between my shoulderblades and crushes me to the cold hard floor. I curl an arm around my head protectively, burying my face in the crook of my elbow, and I whimper into the dark space it makes, trying to hide from what’s about to happen. 

My body is vibrating with tension like a rubber band about to snap, every muscle clenched so tight it hurts, and when I feel the blistering-hot pressure of his cock between my thighs I almost snap. 

“Struggle all you want,” he growls. “Won’t make a difference.” 

And it doesn’t make a difference. He shoves, and after a split-second of resistance he’s slamming into me with skull-rattling force. He grunts as he grinds in, working himself into me as deep as he can be. 

The weight lifts from my upper back, and I suck in a desperate breath, only to sob it out again as he braces himself on his left hand and tangles the right in my hair. It stings, but somewhere along the line I’ve lost the ability to feel pain as pain; it’s only another sensation, and it’s eclipsed completely by the flint-to-tinder flare as he starts to move. 

I bite my lip so hard I taste blood, but I can’t hold back a moan. 

It’s too much, too fucking much, he’s too big, wrenching me apart, taking up every bit of space inside me and forcing me to accept the intrusion. There’s no rational thought left beyond I can’t take this. 

There’s nothing rational about it, though. 

Something catches and sparks — ignites — and wildfire licks up my spine before bursting out through every inch of me. It’s going to burn me alive, and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

There’s nothing wrong with it, I try to tell myself, but shame slithers through my belly anyway. 

I’ve never been this wet in my entire fucking life. 

I’m breathing fast and panicked, I’m naked and squirming on the gritty floor, and it’s humiliating, and it hurts… but friction is friction, and my traitor of a body is slick and eager even though my rational brain is screaming for it to stop. 

“Stop,” I choke out. “Stop, don’t —” 

“Don’t what? Don’t make you come? Don’t make you admit how much you like this? Not fightin’ back any more, are you?” 

I sob and shudder, squeezing helplessly around him. “Please.” 

“Shit, can feel you gettin’ close — gotta see this,” he says, panting harshly, and then he’s pulling out, grabbing at my shoulder to flip me onto my back. 

He hooks an arm up under my knee to open me up and drives in deep again, and I spasm around him, spine arching so forcefully my head slams back against the floor. He’s wild-eyed and wrecked, but he stops for the space of a jagged-edged inhale, pausing, slack-jawed with shock when I look dazedly up at him. 

“Green,” I breathe, and slap him across the jaw with a crack. 

He moans and surges forward all at once, hips snapping down, and the pleasure-pain coils tighter inside me, ratcheting up to new impossible heights.  

I’m not going to stop fighting — not now, not ever, no matter how good it feels. I hit and scratch and claw, and when my nails catch on his cheek he gasps, rhythm faltering for the first time. 

He’s scorching-hot, steely-hard, every thrust a solid filthy smack against my skin, a vicious stretch pushing me to my limit — and it hurts, it hurts, but the adrenaline makes the pain feel faint and distant, and the pleasure is raw and immediate and building (faster by the second) into something inescapable. 

I can feel it starting to overwhelm me. My muscles are seizing up, but I’m fighting back on pure animal instinct, still. I grab him by the throat with one hand, pull his hair with the other, and his face is the last thing I see before my world dissolves: cheek bleeding from a rough scratch, features contorted, mouth open in a wide red O that’s somehow, unmistakably, a smile. 

Bucky is breathing just as hard as I am, when I swim to the surface again.

 We’re both drawing deep wet gulps of air, gasping on each exhale. I twine my arms around his neck limply, resting one palm between his shoulders so I can measure the rise and fall of his lungs. 

I can’t bring myself to open my eyes, but I feel everything: every little tremor and twitch that goes through him, the slick warm tickle of aftershocks as he starts to go soft inside me. His face is buried against the side of my neck, and his right hand cups my cheek, so very gentle, thumb stroking my temple and wiping away tears. He kisses me softly where my pulse hammers under the skin. 

My heart is racing, beating against my ribs like a wild bird caught in a cage, but my head seems very far away from the mess of my body.

I whimper when he pulls back, but he doesn’t go far, not yet — I can hear the barely-there rasp of fabric as he shifts. 

“Can’t believe you’re still wearing pants,” I mumble, slurring like I’m drunk. 

“Wearing is a generous word,” he says flatly. 

It’s a weak impersonation of his usual deadpan snark, but I let out a cracked giggle, and for a hysterical second I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop giggling. 

Bucky whispers, “Gonna get you up now, okay?”

He slides his hand under my head, cradling the back of my skull, and kisses my sweaty forehead before gathering me in his arms. He sits up carefully, pulling me against his chest and letting me burrow into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. 

Then there’s a disorienting swoop of motion that means he’s standing up. I feel fragile and strange as he walks, like something inside me will break if it’s jostled, but I trust him to keep me safe. He nudges the barely-open bedroom door with his hip, easing us through it, and behind my closed lids the quality of the darkness changes as he steps toward the soft golden glow of my bedside lamp.

“Not going anywhere, just going to put you down for one second,” he warns me. 

The comforter is already pulled back when he settles me on the bed, and he pulls it up around me, wrapping me up. 

“Water,” he says quietly, holding the glass to my lips, and I sip carefully. “Juice? Something sweet?” 

I shake my head. “Not yet.” 

He steps back. I hear the soft thump of his shirt and jeans dropping to the floor, the click of his dog tags as he puts them back on, and then he’s sliding into bed next to me. I shift closer and trace the chain around his neck, touching the familiar imprint of letters in the metal. 

My swollen lids are heavy when I open my eyes, and they sting when I finally look up at him, taking in his puffy parted lips and the red line of dried blood on his cheek where I scratched him. It’s already healing, it’ll be gone within a couple hours, but I brush my finger over it anyway, making an apologetic face. 

“It’s okay,” he says softly. He clears his throat and swallows hard. “I’m the one who — I’m so sorry.” 

I shake my head. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about. It was…” 

I don’t know how to finish that sentence; I shrug, helpless, dizzy with the enormity of getting exactly what I wanted — of getting what I never thought I’d be able to ask for, let alone have. 

His lashes are wet, his eyes shining in the low light, and that’s when it really starts to sink in. I shiver, and then I can’t stop shivering, and I curl forward, burying my face in his chest. 

It’s hard to believe that the world is still turning and even harder to believe that he’s still here. 

“God, sweetheart, you were incredible,” he whispers, voice breaking, wrapping me up in his arms and kissing the top of my head. 

Shuddery, convulsive sobs wrack my body, one after another, and I don’t try to hold them back even though they’re so powerful I’m afraid they’ll crack my ribs on the way out. The tears are nothing to be ashamed of. It’s more like they’re physical evidence of shame leaving my body, purging it with each ugly sound wrenched from my throat. 

I never would’ve said it out loud if we hadn’t stumbled into his violent fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with you, I told him, and I sounded so sure, but I still had a hard time believing it about myself. My rational mind knew that it was natural… but it was like knowing that the person who grabbed me tonight was the same man holding me now — it was like knowing he would never hurt me, but feeling my body panic anyway. 

Bucky holds me, crooning nonsense fragments against my hair, until it subsides.  

I sit up enough to look at him, and I’m conscious of how blotchy and swollen my face must be, but I let him brush away my tears. I feel soft and raw inside where I’d been holding all that guilt. Everything is starting to ache. 

“God, we’re a mess,” I say thickly. He lets out a huff of laughter. 

“I love you,” he blurts out. His eyes go a little wide, like that wasn’t what he intended to say. 

“I love you too,” I say, wobbly but warm, and I duck my head again, resting with my ear over his chest to hear his heartbeat. 

His sigh is long and shaky. 

“Yeah, we’re a mess,” he whispers. “Feels good though. Feels human.” 

fin. 

N.B: If you’ve spent any amount of time around my masterlist, you probably will have noticed that one of my favorite subjects is the shame people (especially women) frequently feel about sex in general and their fantasies in particular. I also really love writing enthusiastic consent, and so in a way this is very different from anything I’ve written before. 

I have trouble with the way a lot of fanfiction seems to glorify coercive or under-negotiated dom/sub scenes, and most so-called “dark” fic is triggery for me in its oversimplification of things like rape fantasies; they’re normal and common and natural, but frequently the way they’re written has the same flat, male-gaze approach as a lot of exploitative porn, which I hate. Rape has never been a fantasy for me personally (although it has been an actual life experience) but my #1 fantasy is finding the sort of trust and partnership and support that would make this sort of roleplay emotionally safe. I also just felt compelled to tackle the challenge of writing about something that is often considered so shameful, and writing about it in a way that neither romanticizes or demonizes it. 

So. Yeah. In case you need a reminder: don’t punish your body for what it wants. 

(If you liked this, please reblog or leave a message?) 

[gaitwae]

Whispers •||• Loki x Reader

Summary: You fall asleep to try and quell your stress, but nightmares only make your night worse. Impulsively, you do the only thing you can do.

Rating: PG for nightmares and initial angst. Fluff ending. I originally started drafting this around December. Uh. Here it is. Probably explains the bad mood board and the different formatting.

Tags: @make-me-imagine​ @thorfanficwriter​ @bwemph​ @myraiswack​ @rorybutnotgilmore​ @loki-snape-our-hero​ @wolfish-trickster​ @lucywrites02​ @mostly-marvel-musings​ @winterfrostsarmy​ @superheroesandstardust​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @geekns​ @natandersonnla​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @megthemewlingquim​ @frostedgiant​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @thebookbakery​ @delightfulheartdream​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @the-emo-asgardian​ @amwolowicz​ @itscomplicatedx​ @sophlubbwriting​

+-+--

“What do you think you’re doing?” a voice snarled, sharp-tongued and voilent. Long fingers gripped at your shoulders, turning you about, left and right, left and right. “What do you think you’re doing, loving a man who doesn’t care about you?” You felt your throat squeeze up. The voice laughed at your displeasure, clawing its hands down your neck to your shoulders once more, then at your waist. “What a fool you are, Y/N... he wouldn’t even remember you passing.”

“Let me go,” you asked, your own words quivering in comparison to the feral tone that growled in your ear. There was a dark chuckle, almost a real laugh, and the claws released you. Instead, the floor beneath you swiveled, causing you to face your attacker... your nightmare. His face was hidden in the darkness of your dreamscape.

“Are my whispers too real for you, darling?” the voice asked, the smile audible now. This figure was mocking you, now. “Then perhaps you should just... wake up, shouldn’t you? Wake up, silly girl.” With a howl, a crow of shrill laughter, he stepped into your vision, pushing you back against a wall. His breath smelled like tea and blood. His teeth gleamed in a dark, sickening sliver of light. “Who do I look like?” he asked you.

He pulled back, suddenly visible to you now. Your eyes wouldn’t look away. You couldn’t stop staring at his face. The face. The face was what scared you the most.

Loki’s face.

+-+--

You sat up with your heart racing faster than it ever had before. You felt like your chest would explode; tears raced down your face as you tried to catch your breath and calm your heart down. You needed something different, tonight. You hated yourself for even thinking it, but you needed a blanket... or a stuffed animal.... or someone’s arms. You needed something to hold onto. You felt so alone, here in the dark.

You hadn’t ever felt so unsafe in your own room before.

What had come over you?

“I hate this,” you mumbled. “I can’t believe I’m dreaming about him, again.” You shook your head, sniffing once or twice. Your hands were clammy. If your hair was long enough for it, it had been wetted by your tears. Your pillow had stains. Something about the reminder that Loki wasn’t human hurt you.

Why? It was the truth. You knew he wasn’t a good fit for you. You always knew. Yet, somehow, you couldn’t help the tearing heart beneath your breastbone. 

There was a soft knock on your door. “Y/N,” a female voice came. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, Nat,” you called. “I’m fine, now. You can come in.” You didn’t want her to come in right away, but your mouth was moving faster than your brain. All your wants had been concentrated on keeping this nightmare to yourself. 

Whispers of forgotten affections, whispers of stupid dreams that would never come to be were in your ear as you sat, gazing at your hands while Natasha came in and sat down on your bed. You rested against your friend.

“I heard screaming,” she whispered. She rubbed your arms gently. “I thought something had happened to you.”

“I had another dream about... about him,” you said, angry at yourself for admitting it. “I don’t know why I have nightmares about someone I love.”

“He’s pretty intimidating, I’ll give you that,” Natasha said, now putting her hands through your hair. “Why wouldn’t you be afraid of him? I mean, he threw Tony out a window one time.”

You laughed gently, her joke making you feel better. “Tony’s terrifying when he’s pissed off, yeah.” You were glad she didn’t say anything about you being a strong woman. Usually, out of everything you’d read online, strong women didn’t need to be afraid of anyone. For once, you were glad you could be intimidated by a person you admired rather than being too strong to be “scared of a man’s opinion.” 

It wasn’t like that. 

Loki wasn’t like that.

“You just have to figure out how to ignore the whispers in the back of your head, baby.” Nat set a hand on your arm comfortingly. She squeezed, the tension you held in your body leaving as your best friend stayed next to you.

You held your head in your hands. “I’m trying. I really am, but...”

“You had a nightmare. You should get him to comfort you. Get over the nightmare and win him over,” Natasha suggested. “I’d stay with you but --”

“But you’ve got to go,” you filled in. You sighed, nodding with understanding. “Steve taking you?”

“We’re going to see a midnight film. It’s romantic, I think.” She shrugged. “I’ll be back around two am.” She kissed your head. “If you need me to stay, I’ll cancel. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay. Okay, just go.” You swallowed. “I’ll try my best.” 

+-+-- 

“Loki?” a small voice came from the door. The god squeezed his eyes shut tightly, but sat up anyway.

“Y/N, do you have any idea what time it is, sweetheart? Are you cold? I can assure you,” he chuckled, lifting his legs off the bed, “solving that problem won’t be easy.” He balanced himself, then opened the door to see his dear little mortal. He stopped when his eyes adjusted.

Y/N was crying. 

“What in the Nine Realms...?” Loki scooped you up. “My dearest heart, what in the world could be on your mind? Has someone hurt you? Are you sick? Shall I go out and buy you something?” He pet your hair. He was trying his best not to fret. He hadn’t heard any continous shouting, no walls breaking, and no gunshots. But... now that he thought about it... “Why do you cry?”

“I had a nightmare,” you murmured. “It’s stupid, but I wanted to see you... Nat came in when she heard me.”

“What was the nightmare?” he asked, crawling into bed with you. “No nightmare is stupid.” 

You explained the horrors to him, and he patiently listened. He wiped your tears and stroked your cheek. 

“I see,” he hummed. “You see me as... what?” He was trying to keep his cool. He didn’t want to react the wrong way. Nightmares could be of anyone and anything; the dark whispers in one’s mind didn’t necessarily mean you thought of any person as evil. 

“You weren’t you,” you said. “Something was trying to look like you and convince me that I... I was wasting my time...” You ducked your head. You didn’t meet his gaze.

“Wasting your time?” he repeated.

It took you a while to answer. Loki was patient. “Because I’m in love with you.”

“You were scared because you’re in love with me?” he smiled, then laughed gently. Sleep was filling both your voices. You stopped crying. “Dearest, I thought we already knew our feelings for each other.”

“...you knew?”

“Of course, I knew. What kind of sweetheart would I be if I didn’t know? Have I done a bad job showing my affections?” His eyebrows drew together. “I’ll fix that.”

“No, I just... Humans don’t always exchange hugs and kisses and cuddling when they’re in love. Sometimes, it’s the need for physical contact, and I didn’t know if we were just... a thing... or if you wanted me to say something.”

“You silly humans!” he sighed. He kissed your cheek, your forehead. “I love you. There. Now, fret no more. I’ll battle your nightmares away.” He wrapped his arms around you. “Sleep. I’ll whisper lullabies in your ears as you drift.”