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#Because I have an addiction to making tumblr accounts
hushedstars · 9 months
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There is one thing I'm kind of wondering about.
Do addicts, ones that are so deep in like Ray is (I've been observing him more this ep and he really is constantly buzzed, his cheeks flushed. The most sober he looked was in the club, when he talked to Sand.), could really see that they should not introduce drugs etc. to sb else?
Especially in Ray's case when he would do anything to please Mew. Mew wants? Mew gets it. It's not like Ray is sober enough to actually think rationally (he does briefly question Mew about smoking, but hey fun is fun right?). He doesn't even want to admit he is an alcoholic, never mind a drug addict.
Mew knew FOR YEARS that drugs, and too much alcohol, and smoking (I guess) are bad. But he is having his moment, and doing bad decisions. That's on him.
Yet everyone is blaming Ray for this? That he is dragging him down? (Top and Cheum did mention how Mew is changing himself, but it still circled back to "the bad friend" Ray when even Mew was like "I do what I want".) Sure, Ray is not a saint, not blameless. But Mew walked into his lifestyle with open arms. Looking at what he said to Top that "he is only caring about himself now, a free man", I would gather a guess that he doesn't see Ray as a person anymore. Just sth that he can use to: change himself, spite Top (the kiss), have the fun that everybody seems to be so into. Also the faithfull one (welp, that didn't go well).
Ray is drowning. Had been for years. Mew knows that but it kind of looks like he either forgot or never really got it. That this "fun lifestyle" Ray has is his way of destroying himself, of escaping from reality, and not sb he really wants to be (or still would be if he didn't have his issues). Yet he chose to be like him for his "Mew upgrade". Sb others see as a burden. Sb people keep getting mad at, even Cheum went from "Ray you are perfect" to thinking the worst of him - so not sb you want to be to become one of the cool people. (Weird choice in my opinion. You want to be unbothered and just there to have fun - be like Boston. But he needs Ray for revenge since that is sb Top was jealous of so there is that.)
The others don't see that Ray is so deep in addiction and so mentally unwell that he won't stop Mew from joining him in his idea of fun.
(Top was using drugs but smh dropped them cold turkey as if it's not a big deal. He wasn't in the state Ray is but it's still interesting that he could just stop with no problems.)
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folkpunkjester · 1 year
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i was kinda into gender politics when i was 13 and then i smoked a ton of weed when i was 14 and now i dont care about gender politics but on the downside i developed an opiate problem
AYE U WERE CURED OF GENDER POLITICS! at a price though. A steep one
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btsugarush · 1 year
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GANGSTA | myg - 003
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni
warnings for this chapter: attempted sexual assault.
authors note: sorry if you asked to be tagged but weren’t. some accounts wouldn’t let me tag, so if you asked but you’re not here it’s likely because tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you.
word count: 3.3k
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The erratic sound of banging on your front door startles you, nearly causing you an untimely death as you almost had a slip and fall in the shower. You regain your balance, groaning in the process as it didn’t take a village to figure out who exactly was pounding on your door at this time of night. You turn the valves, shutting off the water before grabbing a towel from the towel rack and wrapping it around yourself. 
You step out of the tub, your wet feet pattering on the living room floor to let in who you could only assume was Mina. You pull open your front door, and Mina speeds past you without saying a word. “Mina, it’s late. What are you doing here? You know I have work tomorrow,” You frown, shutting the door. 
When you turn to your friend, you notice her eyes were bloodshot red from crying. “Woah… what's wrong?” You scrunch your eyebrows, now feeling worried. “I think Jin is cheating on me.” She sniffs. Your eyes widened, and your mouth dropped open in shock. Jin? Cheating on Mina? You somehow found that hard to believe. Jin was in love with Mina. 
“How can you be sure? Did you catch him?” She shakes her head, plopping down on your couch. “No. It’s just that he’s been acting so weird lately. He’s anxious, jumpy and he’s always checking his phone. He’s been so secretive.”  You make a “tsk” sound, grabbing a chair from your table to pull up across from her, not wanting to sit your wet body on your couch. “You’re overthinking this. You said yesterday that he’s struggling with work, so it’s only plausible that he’s stressed and anxious.” 
“Yeah, but he just doesn’t seem like himself. I’m worried he’s going to leave me.” 
“Mina, Seokjin loves you. I’d be surprised if he was cheating. The guy literally worships the ground you walk on.” You smile softly, trying your best to reassure her. “He doesn’t seem to worship the ground I walk on much lately…” she wipes away the stray tears on her cheeks. “So talk to him, see where he’s coming from. Give him an ultimatum if you have to, I don’t know. But don’t assume the worst.” 
Mina lets out a heavy sigh, slowly nodding her head. “I guess you’re right…” you knew you were right. Jin wasn’t even the type of guy to sneak around. He was always calling you in regards to Mina. What to buy her for her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. It just didn’t seem likely. “Can I sleep over tonight? I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.” You couldn’t refuse the offer, it beats taking the bus. 
“How can I say no when you drive such a hard bargain?” You chuckle, standing up from the chair and dragging it back to your table. “Did I interrupt something?” Mina asked, just now noticing you were wrapped in a towel. “Only my shower.” You walk back into your bedroom, pulling open your wardrobe to grab a nightgown. You slip on the gown before lazily tossing your towel atop of your dresser. 
Mina comes into your room after you’re dressed, throwing herself into your bed. “How was work today?” She asks. You grimaced. You didn’t even want to think or talk about work after what happened with Yoongi today. That guy seriously gave you the creeps. “Same old, same old until Mr. Kim made me deliver food in Gongdan.” 
Mina gasped, sitting up in your bed. “You went to the devil’s playground?” You nodded, climbing into bed with her. “Yes, and that isn’t even the worst part. The person I was delivering to was that psycho Yoongi.” Mina gagged upon hearing the raven’s name. “I’m still creeped out from your altercation with him and his gang yesterday. What a coincidence.” 
“I wouldn’t quite call it that…” you mumble, your mind wandering back to him knowing the details of your personal life. “What do you mean by that?” She raises a brow. You bite down on your bottom lip, contemplating on whether or not you should tell her about Yoongi and his “connections”. Mina wasn’t the type of person to handle news like that lightly. She’d be freaked out constantly looking over her shoulder. 
“Nothing, I’m just overexaggerating.” You played it off.  “I should get to bed. Don’t wanna collapse on the job tomorrow.” You stood up from your bed to switch off your lights before climbing back in to snuggle under your blanket. “Goodnight.”
“Night.”
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“I’ll pick you up when you’re off, alright?”
“Sounds good. See you, Mina!” The blonde waves goodbye before pulling off. Hopefully she takes this time off to talk to her boyfriend, you could tell she was still sad about it. You enter Makoto, the door dinging as you do. “Oh, kid, thank god you’re here. I thought you were going to call off too.” Mr. Kim says upon your arrival; the older man was on the floor taking orders. “Too? Jimin isn’t here?” You frown, looking around for the brunette. 
“No, that unreliable little shit called off. Apparently he has the flu. So hurry up and clock in, then come take over these orders.” You nod, walking to the back of the kitchen. You grab a time card and swipe it through the clock before taking an apron from the hook. As you’re tying the cloth around your waist, the kitchen phone begins to ring. “I got it.” Mr. Kim says, appearing from the cut. 
You grab a notepad and pen from the pen holder, taking Mr. Kim’s place on the floor. There weren’t a lot of people in today, nor did you have a lot of orders to take considering Mr. Kim had already taken most of them. You were shocked that Jimin called off today. He never missed a day of work, you would’ve thought he was immune to any kind of disease. 
“Well, aren’t you a better exception than the old man.” A young brunette says as you approach his table. He’s sitting across from a woman, who doesn’t seem to mind his eyes raking up and down your body. She must’ve been his friend, and not his girl. “Can I get you anything?” 
“Your number.” He chuckles. You roll your eyes, letting out a sigh. You didn’t have time for this. “My name is Taehyung, beautiful. But you can call me Tae.” He bites down on his bottom lip in a sultry way. You shake your head, turning your attention to the girl instead as you saw you were getting nowhere. “Ma’am, can I get you anything?” 
“I’ll just take some water, nothing else.” You write down her order, slowly nodding your head.‘You could’ve had water at your house.’ You thought, feeling as though these people were here to waste your time. You turn back to the man, Tae, seeing if he was finally ready to put aside the flirting and order something. “Now can I get you anything?” 
“Rice cakes.” He replies dryly, looking off put at the fact you rejected him. He must not get too many rejections. You write down the order, throwing a smile their way. “I'll be back with your orders.” You stumble off into the kitchen, catching Mr. Kim stuffing a brown bag into a plastic one. “We’ve got another delivery order today.” He says, holding out the bag for you to take. You look from Mr. Kim, to the bag in his hands. “No way. Last time I went it was that thug, Min Yoongi.” You crossed your arms, refusing to take the bag. 
“Yeah, so what? Like it or not, he’s still a customer. We can’t refuse people just because we don’t like them.”
“It’s more than that, Mr. Kim–” 
Mr. Kim cuts you off before you’re able to continue protesting. “Take the damn order, y/n.” You sigh, snatching the bag from the older man’s hand. When you check the order, you’re not surprised that it’s the same address you went to yesterday. If you didn’t know any better you’d say Mr. Kim knew that Yoongi was stalking you, but he was too scared to put his foot down. If Jimin was there, he’d be the one doing deliveries. Was he actually sick?  You weren’t so sure anymore. 
You exit the kitchen through the back door, same as yesterday. As you pick up the red bike from the ground, you ponder on whether or not you should truly go to the address. You could just ride around, eat that jerk’s dumplings and then come back to work as if you made the trip. ‘What if that asshole calls though? He’ll probably get me fired.’ You pout. Guess you didn’t have a choice. Maybe you’ll just ring the bell this time, sit it out front and leave before he comes out. 
You mount the bike, tie the bag to the handle just as you did the other day and ride off to Gongdan. You didn’t use your GPS this time around, seeing as you knew exactly where the destination was. As you cross over into the devil’s playground, you notice the same group of men standing on the corner smoking weed again. They watch you, whispering something amongst themselves. 
‘Is this a daily routine for them?’ 
As the streets get emptier in this general territory, you knew you were close. For some reason people never seemed to venture where Yoongi’s little headquarters were, except for a few homeless folks. You make a turn, coming up on the warehouse. You ride your bike around to where you remember the front door was, and your face goes grim. 
Yoongi was standing outside, puffing on a cigarette. The raven notices you pull up, and a smile forms his face. So much for leaving the damn food in front of the door. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite delivery girl.” You halt the bike, kicking forward the brakes before dismounting. You hand the raven his food, which he takes. “What? Not speaking to me?” 
You keep your mouth closed, not giving him the satisfaction of you bantering back and forth. You don’t get very far before he’s stopping you from getting onto the bike. “Hey,” the raven grabs your wrist, twirling you around to face him. “I’m talking to you. I don’t take well to being ignored.” 
You snatch your wrist away from him. “And I don’t take well to being stalked. I thought I told you to leave me alone?” Yoongi smirks. “And I thought I told you I get what I want?”
You scoff, crossing your arms. “You may get what you want, but I won’t be one of them. Next time you call my job under false pretenses, I’m not showing up.” You climb back onto the bike, kicking back the brakes before riding away from the warehouse. You don’t even spare a second glance at the man. 
How long was this going to go on for? Was he constantly going to call on you for deliveries on your work days? Perhaps you should adjust your schedule. That way he wouldn’t know what days you worked. Your mind was so clouded with Yoongi that you neglected to pay attention where you were going. You end up making a hard stop as you notice a man in your pathway. “Hey!” You shout at him. “Don’t you know not to stand in the middle of a bike lane?” 
The man doesn’t respond, casually spitting on the ground. You squint your eyes, the stranger looking vaguely familiar. It then dawns on you; he was one of the men that stood on the corner smoking weed. You feel slightly uncomfortable as the guy made no effort to speak, or even move out of your way. “Okay… guess I’ll just go around you then.” You try to maneuver around him, but he blocks your path again.
“What’s your problem? Move.” You say, once again trying to go around. Unfortunately it was all to no avail. You decide to back away instead, but bump into a figure. “Going somewhere?” Another man vocalizes from behind you. Your heart thumps against your chest, knowing no good was going to come from this situation. “We’ve seen you come down this way twice now. Not many girls like you ride through here.” The guy who blocked the front of your bike finally speaks with a gruff voice.
“Look… I don’t want any trouble. I’m just trying to get  back to work.” You tell the guys, attempting to maintain a calm composure. You didn’t want to look as afraid as you felt. They both laugh, sharing a look of amusement with each other. “Heard that, Yejun? She doesn’t want any trouble.”
“Guess she shouldn’t have come to Gongdan then.” 
You look between the two men, trying to come up with some course of action to get out of this predicament. You’re hardly able to make a move before you're suddenly snatched from the bike and being dragged into an alleyway. “Let go of me!” You scream, thrashing your body to get free. “She’s a feisty one, huh?” They simultaneously cackle. 
You notice that the rest of the men you’ve seen standing on the corner were in the alley as well. This was surely premeditated. You're roughly thrown to the ground, two men immediately taking action to pin your arms down before you could get up. “Get the fuck off of me!” You screech, kicking your legs. “Hey, Jiwon, hold her legs down.” One of the guys instructed. Your legs were suddenly held down; you were completely restrained, and at the mercy of these sick men. 
“Stop! Let go!” Another man is straddling you, pulling out a pocket knife. “Scream all you want, girl. You’re in Gongdan, no one’s gonna come to your rescue.” The man takes the pocket knife, cutting the top of your shirt. Your eyes flutter shut, tears rolling down your cheeks. ‘This can’t be happening… I can’t believe this is happening…’
“Don’t you peons have anything better to do?” A monotone voice speaks behind the men. The group turns around, coming face to face with none other than Yoongi. “Yo, it’s Agust D.” One of the guys holding down your arms whispered. ‘Agust D? Yoongi?’ You opened your eyes, lifting your head to see the raven leaned against the brick wall, his hands in his pockets as he eyed the men. 
“Get off her and get the fuck out of here.” He says in a calm, but warning tone. The stoic look on his face unwavered. All the men spared glances with one another, mulling over the threat. The guy with the pocket knife nods, flipping the blade closed before climbing off of you. The men released you, dipping off down the other end of the alley, avoiding Yoongi at all cost. You were surprised they actually listened to him, seeing as there were more of them than there were of Yoongi. He must really strike fear into people’s hearts. 
You sit up from the ground, staring down at your ripped shirt in embarrassment. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, sniffling. Yoongi approaches your shaken figure, crouching down to your level. You look up at him, and the raven tilts his head slightly. “So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept a ride today?” 
You sigh, slowly nodding your head. You didn’t think you could ride back on the bike after this. Yoongi stands up, extending a hand for you to take. You stare at this hand, your mind only thinking about all the blood that’s probably covered it once before. “C’mon, sweetheart. You gotta get back to work, don’t you?” 
You hesitantly take his hand, letting the raven pull you up to your feet. “H-how did you know I was back here?” You ask him curiously. “I saw your bike.”
‘Yeah right, you were following me…’
With your hand still in his, Yoongi leads you to his black Nissan Sentra. He opens the passenger door for you, and you climb in. The raven rounds the other side of the car, grabbing your bike from the bike lane. He opens the back door, adjusting his seats so he could fit the bike in. “That’s as good as it’s gonna get.” He mumbles, shutting the back door. 
He finally climbs into the driver’s seat, slamming his car door close. You sit quietly as the car peels off. “Are you hurt? Did they–” 
“Can we just not talk and sit in silence?” You cut him off. As if this jerk really cared about you. It’s his fault you were at the devil’s playground in the first place. The raven nods marginally, sitting in silence per your request. As the two of you kept the peace, your eyes ever so slightly peered over to him. “You know,” you started. “This is all your fault,” Yoongi smiles as though he knew you weren’t going to keep quiet. That just didn’t seem like your style. “If you hadn’t called me down here again, I wouldn’t have been assaulted.”
“So much for silence.” He chuckled.
“You think because you're a self proclaimed bad boy, with a horrific rep, and a cute smile that girls are supposed to fall at your feet. Well, I refuse to be one of them, okay? So, give it up.” The raven now has his eyes on you, a grin on his face as if he enjoyed your little outburst. “You done now, sweetheart? Did you get it all off your chest?” You huffed, looking out of the window. “Good.” The car goes mute again,  and you gently bite down on your bottom lip. You wanted to ask the raven questions that had been on your mind since you met him, but you were afraid of his reaction. You decide to take the risk anyway, considering your circumstances.
“Is it true what people say about you?” 
Yoongi quirks a brow. “You’re gonna have to be more specific, princess. People say a lot of things about me.” You look away from the window, facing the man of many names. “Have you… killed people before?” You watch Yoongi’s facial expression change; it’s serious, dark. “If I’ve killed people do you really think I’d tell you?” 
You shrug. “Probably not, but If you haven’t it would be a simple no.” The raven looks over at you, his eyes boring into yours. “No. I haven’t.” 
One would feel relieved upon hearing that, but for some reason you didn’t quite believe him. Not with the way people seemed to stop breathing at his very presence.
Yoongi pulls up in front of Makoto, getting out of the car first to wedge your bike from his backseat. You open your door, following suit as you move around the car to take the bike from the raven. He closes the car door, leaning his back against it. The two of you stand in silence for a moment before you let out a deep sigh. “Thanks… for getting those guys off of me. Even though it’s your fault.” You mutter the last sentence. Yoongi smiles. “Don’t mention it, Princess. Maybe you can thank me in another way sometime.” 
He pushes himself off of the car, pulling open his driver’s door. “You got something wrong about me yesterday in your little autobiography,” Yoongi stops, raising an eyebrow at you. “Jungkook isn’t my boyfriend. Yet.” You inform him. The raven hums. “Noted. That makes this even easier.” 
“Easier?” You deride. “You really think you have a chance with me, don’t you?” 
Yoongi shakes his head. “I don’t think I do, I know I do. You called my smile cute, remember? Pretty sure I’ve already got you.” He flashes a cocky smile your way before climbing into his car. The raven looks at you one last time before driving away, and you watch as the car flies down the road, disappearing from your sight. 
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2baabbies · 4 months
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🖤 Knee Socks (Changbin x Reader) 🖤
Crossposted under 2Babbies on Ao3 <3
(decided to crosspost this today for all the changbin fuckers, I hope you like it 🫶🏻)
Pairings: established frenemies changbin x reader, to lovers
Words: 4100
Summary: Changbin stops by uninvited to pick up the jacket you borrowed from him. You are annoyed that he has interrupted your down time on your day off, but maybe he’ll find a way to make it up to you?
(inspired by the Arctic Monkeys song!!)
Humour + Fluff + Smut
afab + fem!reader
CWs: reader and binnie are mean and they swear at each other but they actually looove each other, playful insults are thrown around, picking on your crush to hide your real feelings??, jokes about murderers/getting murdered, gamer girl!reader, changbin projects on reader based on how she’s dressed (but they’re both down bad so it’s fine)
Smut Tags: taunting/teasing, explicit consent because consent is sexy, big dick changbin, changbin sock fetish, slight dom dynamics but reader and bin are both kind of switches in this one, changbin going down on reader, some edging, vaginal fingering, begging, praise, slight degradation, handjob, mutual/guided masturbation, dirty talk, confessions during sex
!!ATTENTION!!
Reposting this fic to other platforms, including as a translation, is expressly prohibited. Do not copy, alter, or claim this fic as your own. Absolutely no permission is given to anyone to post my works, even with credit, and this fic should only appear on Ao3 or Tumblr under my accounts. Reposting is not only plagiarism, but a direct violation of my wishes as the original writer and owner. Please respect writers and don’t steal!
Likes, reblogs, asks and comments are very welcome and appreciated <3
~~~
The fourth phone call in three minutes prompts some concern, so you forfeit your competitive match to give the caller your full attention.
“What’s wrong?”
“What are you doing?” Changbin responds casually.
“I’m trying to rank. Is something wrong?”
“Rank? Christ, are you playing that stupid game again?”
“Felix is two whole levels above me!”
“… So?”
“Felix isn’t even good, he’s not allowed to be two levels higher than me!”
There is a pause on the other end and you think he may have hung up before he speaks.
“So that’s what you’re doing? Wasting your day away on your computer?”
“Why are you complaining? I went out with you and Chan last night. And I don’t have another day off for two weeks, so I have to grind as much as I can today. And fyi, you’re putting me at a disadvantage. I just left a match to answer your stupid call because I thought you were getting murdered or something. That could’ve been a win.”
“You think I would call you if I was getting murdered?”
“Yeah, I think you would. You know why? Because you’re stupid.”
“Hey hey hey, be nice.”
“What do you want? You’re wasting my precious time.”
“You stole my jacket last night, e-girl, I’m here to get it back.”
“I’m not an e-girl- wait, you’re here? Right now?”
“Wasting away in the lobby. Waiting for someone to come and murder me.”
You stand up from your chair and pad out of your room to your intercom. You hang up your phone and shout into the speaker.
“Quit loitering, shithead!”
“Fuck you!” Changbin shouts back.
You unlock your apartment door then buzz him in.
“Doors are unlocked. Your jacket is on the couch. Get your shit and get out.”
You hear him giggle maniacally as he opens the now unlocked lobby door and roll your eyes before returning to your bedroom. You quickly queue for a new match and put your headphones on. You join in immediately and the sound of Changbin entering your apartment is drowned out by the sounds of the game. You think you hear him say something from the other room but you opt to ignore him to maintain your kill streak. The match ends with a win and Changbin startles you as he speaks up beside you.
“You have an addiction, you know that right?”
You pull your headphones down and glare at him.
“Dude! What are you still doing here?”
“Look at this,” He picks up one of the many empty energy drink cans scattered across your desk, “You’re going to have a goddamn heart attack. I told you to lay off these. And your desk is a mess!”
“Shut up! Why are you in here?”
“You left your door unlocked. Not safe. That’s how murderers get in.”
You groan.
“Stop lecturing me! You were two minutes coming up, at most.”
“Yeah, but what if I wasn’t? And what if there was a murderer who was waiting just outside your door? Did you think of that, Ms. Noise-Cancelling-Headphones?”
“But there wasn’t a murderer! You’re just an idiot!”
You spin your chair towards him, clenching your fists in exasperation. He huffs and crosses his arms, his blue jacket slung over his broad shoulders. Suddenly, his eyes widen and he swallows before looking away.
“What the Hell are you wearing?”
You look down at your attire as you sit cross-legged in your gaming chair. You had expected to spend the whole day inside, so your outfit was not exactly guest appropriate but it suited your personal comfort level just fine. You are wearing a thick oversized sweater that drapes over your lap, no pants, topped off with fluffy socks that cover your legs and end just above your knees. The sweater hangs low, doing little to cover your chest and cleavage, and the socks squeeze the plush insides of your thighs. Normally you would have been more embarrassed dressing this way in front of your friend, but Changbin had not been invited into your room and you were still annoyed at him for taking up your personal time.
“What’s wrong? They’re just my pajamas.”
“You sleep in that? Fuck, you really are an e-girl.”
You roll your eyes.
“It’s comfy. And look, the socks have beans.”
You lift your leg to show the bottom of your foot, where cat paws are printed on the socks. He slaps your leg down firmly.
“Don’t do that.”
“Why? There’s beans!”
“I can see that.”
You notice a dark blush dusting his cheeks as you go to lift your leg again. This time he holds your leg down by your thigh to prevent you from lifting it.
“Would you stop that? Have some modesty will you?”
“Modesty? They’re cat socks.”
“And you’re wearing them like some sort of pervert.”
You curl up in your chair and turn back to your pc.
“Lee Know would appreciate them.”
“Yeah, he probably has a catgirl fetish. He’s your target audience.”
You glare softly at him.
“I’m telling him you said that. And there’s no audience. This is just how I dress when I’m alone.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s not supposed to be weird men in my room!”
He blinks in surprise then gapes, offended, at your words.
“I am not a weird man. Take that back.”
“You just called me a pervert. Because of cat socks.”
“I’m sorry! But don’t flash me!”
“Flash you?”
He points at your lap, and this makes you blush. All you see is the gap of bare flesh not covered by your sweater or your socks. You throw your hands up in defeat as he gestures impatiently, and his attention on your thighs suddenly makes you self-conscious. You slap your hands down to cover them.
“There! Happy?”
“Not that! You were- your legs- just don’t spread your legs open when you’re not wearing any clothes, yeah?”
“These are clothes.”
“You’re not wearing pants, and you might not be wearing underwear either.”
You scoff.
“You think I’m not wearing underwear? Seriously?”
“I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“I’m not a freak.”
“Prove it.”
You peer at him.
“That I’m not a freak?”
“That you’re wearing underwear.”
“You’re weird as fuck man.”
You kick your legs up on the desk, knocking a few cans to the floor in the process. Changbin grumbles about your slobbish habits and picks the cans up, then storms out of your room. You wait a moment for him to return and when he does not, curiously get up from your chair to check on him. You spot him in the kitchen from your doorway and pause to watch him. He has his hands braced against the counter and his head lowered as he takes measured breaths. He notices you out of the corner of his eye and looks at you, his jacket is still slung over his shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
Your eyes flit over his arms, flexing as he grips the counter. Then they roam over his black shirt, tightly fitted over his biceps and abs, then down until they land on the unmistakable bulge in his slacks. You look back up to meet his gaze. He looks wrecked, watching you with heavy eyes as his cheeks burn with shame.
You jump as something falls in your room and hits the floor, bringing you both out of the silent trance you had been in for who knows how long.
“What was that?”
You shrug.
“Murderer. Ghost.”
“Ghost?”
“My apartment’s haunted. That’s why I never have anyone over.”
He laughs with a hint of strain.
“You’re funny.”
“Changbin.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll go, just give me a second,” He rasps.
You do not give him a second. You clear your throat and tug your sweater off in one quick swoop. He stares, wide-eyed, as you toss it to the floor and cross your arms. You stare back at him, wearing nothing but a comfy sports bra, your underwear, and your knee socks. The underwear are lame, not even a cute pair. They are the kind with a little satin bow, pink with faded prints of flowers and bunnies, and a small rip in the frilly waistband. There is nothing sexy or enticing about them.
Changbin’s cock strains against the zipper of his pants, no doubt aching to be released. He exhales slowly as his eyes skim over your body. He audibly swallows then looks away.
“What’s wrong? You’re acting like you’ve never seen a naked woman before. You’re not embarrassed, are you?”
He groans and throws his jacket to the floor then begins crossing the room, tearing his shirt off next in the process. You back up into your room, tripping over another discarded can then falling back on your bed. You sit up just as he enters the doorway. Suddenly, he pauses. He grips the top of the doorframe, giving you a clear view of his muscles at work. You nonchalantly check him out as he pants softly. Then, he points at you.
“You’re the devil, you know that right?”
You laugh and roll your eyes.
“I wasn’t trying to seduce you.”
“Are you trying now?”
You gnaw on your lip and eye his crotch again lazily. Then you shrug.
“Not particularly.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Look at how you’re dressed.”
“I didn’t dress to impress anyone today, Binnie. Who would even see it? Look at me, why would I wear ratty underwear and a sweaty sports bra if I was trying to look sexy? I’ve been a good girl, you’ve been the bad boy thinking dirty thoughts.”
You emphasize your statement by propping your legs up and spreading them open. He shivers and takes in the clear view of your scantily clad figure.
“y/n,” He says seriously, “I need to know before we go any further if you want this? I’ll stop the moment you ask, I promise, but I want to know before I do something stupid if you even want to keep this going or if you’re just teasing me. Because I… really want you, and I think I’m gonna lose it if we keep this up for much longer.”
You smile and respond softly.
“I trust you, Binnie. I know you would never hurt me. So whatever you want to do, you can do it to me.”
“Right now?”
“Right now.”
“Take your panties off, please.”
You smirk at his hesitant order but obey it. You hook your thumbs into the elastic of your panties and slide them off, taking your time and keeping your legs spread as you complete the process. He watches you greedily, drinking in the sight of you as you pull your bra off next. You discard both garments to the floor carelessly, then dip your thumb in the cuff of your sock and begin pulling it down.
“No. Leave those on.”
You pull your hand away, fluttering your fingers playfully and tilting your head. He finally enters the room, crossing slowly and kicking the can away when he meets it. He stops at the end of the bed. You hold your breath as he stares down at you, and watch as he reaches down to caress your ankle then gently grasps your calf. You let out a shaky breath right before he drags you to the end of the bed by one leg. You gasp as the bottoms of your thighs come flush to his knees.
He meanders fixing your knee socks one at a time. He tugs them up to hug your thighs and runs his thumbs just under the bands to touch the soft skin beneath. You shudder when he looks at you, then grabs your other thigh and squeezes both of them. Your legs quiver as he holds them open and massages underneath your thighs.
“You’ll tell me if you want me to stop, yeah?”
You nod and he shakes his head.
“Say it.”
“I’ll tell you. But I don’t want you to stop. I really don’t want you to stop.”
Changbin falls to the floor on his knees and grips the tops of your socks, he then hikes your legs over his shoulders. You gasp and clench your fingers in the bedsheets when he dives in to lap at your pussy.  You throw your head back and release a pitchy moan as he slowly mouths at you. His fingers curl to stretch the fabric of your socks and your thighs hug his face as he prods you open with his tongue. 
Despite how ruined he looked and how wired he said he felt, he eats you out with an astounding amount of restraint. He rolls his tongue inside between filthy open-mouth kisses, eyes boring into yours as he makes obscenely wet noises. You are not sure if they come from his saliva or your arousal, but it makes your core ache nonetheless. You throw one hand against your forehead and slap the other down on the bed as he continues his tortuous pace.
“Changbin,” You whine, the last part of his name fading off in a squealing moan.
“Mhm,” He peppers a few kisses on the insides of your thighs and nuzzles his cheeks there gently, “What is it, baby?”
“Stop teasing…”
He punctuates his response with a long, deep, kiss right on your clit. You cry out in frustration as he smirks down at you.
“No.”
“Binnie…”
“You teased me, it’s my turn, honey.”
You huff and mewl as he resumes eating you out.
“But I… I didn’t…”
He groans, rumbling your heat as he does so. You buck your hips and moan as he begins picking up the pace, then breaks away. You whimper and glare at him as he licks his lips clean.
“Stop…”
“Do you want me to stop?” He asks breathlessly, “Or do you want me to give in to you?”
“Will you please just fuck me?”
His breath hitches at how soft and desperate your voice sounds. He shakes his head and brings his lips to your heat again.
“Why?” You cry, tears pricking as you feel yourself teetering on the edge of release.
“Shhh, patience, baby. Patience.”
You run your fingers through your hair and arch your back as you grind against his face. He finally grants you relief when he props his elbows on the bed, your thighs still straddle his face, and he pushes three of his fingers between your folds. He buries his face in your heat and fingerfucks you, continuing to do so until you climax. You can only make mindless, breathy, sounds as he stimulates you through your high. You grip the bed sheets and squeeze your thighs together on instinct, mind going blank as pleasure pulses endlessly through your core. He holds your thighs open and continues suckling at your clit, watching you fall apart from his tongue. 
Slowly, he stops and lowers you on the bed. He lets your legs fall to his sides and presses chaste kisses over your thighs and abdomen. Your legs twitch and you let out a wrecked moan as your pussy throbs. His hands roam sweetly over your thighs, petting and soothing you to relax.
“There you go. Good girl. Wasn’t that worth waiting for?”
You make a short, annoyed, sound.
“You’re such a fucking tease.”
He chuckles and stands up, unzipping his slacks and pulling them down. You let your head loll to the side as you watch him. His cock pitches a tent in his boxers, standing proudly as he shucks his pants off. He takes his time rolling the band of his boxers over his length, no doubt enjoying your attention. You bite your lip as he strips himself down then kneels beside you on the bed. You run your hand over his thigh and give a teasing squeeze, then look up for his reaction.
“Mhm.”
“Well?” He murmurs.
“You’re big.”
He snorts, his cock stands proud and drips precum as he moves over you.
“Yeah. It’s a pain.”
“Not for me.”
“Oh? You can take a big dick right now?”
He taps his fingers against your pussy and chuckles when you whine and roll away. You glare over your shoulder as he rubs your hip.
“You’re still too sensitive, baby.”
“And whose fault is that?”
He rolls his eyes.
“My fault for giving you an amazing orgasm, I guess.”
“Yeah, how are you going to get your dick wet now? Stupid.”
His cock jumps and he groans softly at your chiding.
“I’m not.”
“You don’t want to fuck me?”
Your tone is more insecure than you wanted it to be, but there is no way to take it back now. Changbin’s eyes soften and he rolls you over to face him. His hand comes to cup your cheek as you avoid looking at him.
“Is that what I said?”
“No.”
“Right. Do you need to hear me say it?”
You nod shyly and he shoots you a soft smirk.
“I want you. I need you. You’re so beautiful.”
You laugh softly.
“Okay-”
“I want to make you feel loved. I want to take care of you.”
“Oh, so now you want to be romantic? What happened to the teasing and manhandling?”
He rolls his eyes.
“Well, that was when I was hungry, baby. I’m not thinking straight until I’ve had my fill.”
He leans down, hovering his lips over yours.
“Are you thinking straight now?” You murmur.
“No. You’re still making me crazy.”
You giggle and brush your nose against his.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah…”
“What are you gonna do about it?”
“Kiss you?”
You nod timidly. He chuckles as you both close the space between you and share a slow, sweet kiss. You sigh into his mouth as he pets your cheek with his thumb.
“What about now? What do you want me to do?” He asks.
“Fuck me?” 
“Hah… I don’t think you’re ready for that yet, baby.”
“Pretty big talk for a guy that got hard over socks.”
“Well. They are on you.”
“Shut up.”
You kiss again, a bit more heated. Changbin melts into your arms as you pull him closer and he grinds against the crease of your hip. You giggle as he moans and chases the friction a second time.
“Can’t fit your big dick in my pussy? Just gonna hump me like a dog instead?”
He groans and raises his hips up, his cock still hangs and drags over your abdomen.
“You’re so rude. I’m being so sweet to you.”
“Gonna cry about it?”
“Would that turn you on?”
You shrug and give a teasing grind against his thigh. He curses softly and drops his head.
“Don’t make me beg, I might really cry then,” You laugh and he whimpers, “Please?”
“Please what?”
“Touch me.”
You giggle and roll away for a moment to grab lotion from your bedside drawer. When you turn back he shoves his face into the crook of your neck and lets out a shuddery breath onto your chest. You clutch his head close and kiss his forehead as he props his leg over yours. You lube your fingers then slip them between your bodies and around his length. He jerks his hips impatiently as you stroke him slowly.
“y/n…”
“Yes, baby?”
“F-Fuck…”
“You like that?”
“Mh-hm.”
He pants and pulls you closer as you work your hand around him. He curses and throws his head back to gaze up at you. Your touch slows as you watch his lips part in a small whimper.
“Please,” He breathes, “I’m so close.”
“You’ve been such a good boy.”
He nods and cries out in frustration as you slide your hand up his abdomen. You scratch your nails over his chest and gently direct him.
“Wanna come? Go ahead, Binnie. I want to see you touch yourself.”
He makes a choked noise and leans up to brace himself over you.
“That’s not fair,” He takes a shuddery breath, “I helped you.”
“I am helping,” You pout, “What? Are you saying you can’t get off? This isn’t enough for you?”
He looks down as you dip your fingers between your legs and play with your clit. He curses at the soft sounds that escape your lips. He steals another kiss and slowly begins stroking himself over you. You giggle and murmur quiet encouragement against his lips as you lazily pleasure yourself.
“Wanna come, Binnie? Wanna come on my pussy?”
“Y-es…”
He kisses you again, hard, as his movements become faster and uncoordinated. You cup his cheek and allow the fingers between your legs to graze absentmindedly over your sex. He slowly breaks away and gazes into your eyes as he works himself to release. His eyes fall shut and he groans your name.
“Come on, baby. You’re almost there.”
“Fuck,” He gasps.
He jerks himself through his climax, moaning desperately as he spills his cum over you. You watch his expression intently as milky streaks fall over your abdomen and crotch. You glance down and spread the sticky substance between your fingers, then look back at him. He watches you through fluttering lashes and pants into the shared air. Then, he smirks and leans down to share a wet kiss. When you part he kisses your cheek then collapses on top of you, nuzzling your neck.
“I love you.”
You scoff.
“I make you jerk off to me once and that’s all it takes for you to fall in love? You’re pathetic.”
He whines in protest.
“I loved you before that, bitch. And, I’ve jerked off to you many times-”
“Ugh, you freak…” You respond with no animosity.
He laughs breathlessly and heaves a tired sigh. “I mean it. And not just the masturbating part.”
You snort and listen to his labored breath slow then settle into a tranquil rhythm before breaking the silence.
“I know. I love you too. Even if you get turned on by socks.”
Changbin laughs and squishes his face against your cheek. You turn your head and press a loving kiss to the bridge of his nose.
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” You mumble before granting him another kiss.
“Mhm… I will… later.”
You gasp as he goes to pull you closer and gently keep him at an arm’s length.
“Ah, I’m dirty.”
“Yeah, you are.”
You laugh then make a disgusted noise as he pulls your hips together and kisses your neck. You melt into his arms and let him cradle your head to his chest. You sigh and nose sleepily at his shoulder.
“You better clean me up.”
“M’yeah…”
“M’serious…”
“Mh-hm…”
You relax and doze off embracing each other.
You wake again hours later. No light peeks in from the window, the only thing illuminating your room is your desktop screen. The red numbers of the 24-hour clock beside your bed tell you that it is midnight. You fight your way out from where you are tightly tucked into bed. Changbin’s shirt covers your figure as you sit up then slip out of bed. The shirt falls just above the top of your knee socks, leaving a sliver of skin peeking out. You finally notice Changbin, seated in your gaming chair and just wearing your headphones and his boxers, focused on the game playing in front of him. He has cleaned up the desk and his jacket is folded neatly over the back of the chair. You watch in silence then tiptoe over as the match finishes.
“What are you doing?”
He jumps and throws his hand over his chest as he looks at you.
“y/n!”
“Why are you playing my game?”
“... No reason.”
You take the mouse from him before he can queue and open your profile. He smiles sheepishly when you gape at your stats.
“You brought me up five levels?”
“Did I?”
“I didn’t know you could play.”
“What, you really think Felix leveled up all by himself?”
You blink as you process his words then grin and fall into his lap. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and kiss his cheek.
“Thank youuu.”
“Don’t thank me, just get better so you don’t have to play so much.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault! All my teammates suck.”
“Mhm, that’s what they all say.”
You roll your eyes and rest your head on his chest.
“Still, I appreciate it.”
“Do you?”
“Mhm.”
“Wanna show me how much you appreciate it?”
You smirk.
“Yeah. What do you want me to do?”
His thumb glides down your clothed leg then back up again.
“You don’t have to do anything, baby.”
“I don’t?”
“I’ll just let you have this seat and then I’ll take care of the rest.”
You stand and watch him rise then turn to fall to his knees as you fall back in the chair. He smirks and pushes his shirt up out of the way, then draws your legs over his shoulders.
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nyhti · 2 months
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Batman Rogues Tumblr AU:
Jervis:
-Joined Tumblr in 2009, has had the same blog all this time -Has a big follower count, but most of those blogs have long since been abandoned -Is very active -No sideblogs, everything from kink to cute animal pics is on the same blog -Has witnessed or been involved in every single major event in this site's history -Attended Dashcon (he was the one who pissed in the ball pit) -Involved in some sort of petty drama on a daily basis -Has a 20km long post of just going back and fort arguing with some random user. This argument started in 2016 and neither remembers what it even was about. He gets worried if the other person hasn't responded in a while. -Gets at least 3 callout posts a week. Always makes sure to reblog them and adds an essay underneath defending himself no matter if the callout post was about liking the wrong pony in MLP or murdering someone in cold blood. -Kinnie drama the likes of which you've never seen before -And in general just discord you never thought anyone could ever come up with -At this point you wonder if he's even having fun on this site, but he just keeps on reblogging bunny pics like it's nothing -Has a Wacom drawing tablet
Jonathan:
-Joined in 2011 after Jervis introduced him to the site -Has some really tacky theme he hasn't changed since 2013 -About a couple hundred followers, but they are very devoted. Lots of mutuals -579257405547 blurry photos of Nightmare -Post fics and essays on various topics he's been thinking about lately -Of course reblogs every single spoopy art piece he finds -Definitely does fic request -The most fucked up smut you've ever read -Like smut you don't even know is smut, because it's just that confusing -Most of his post don't get past 50 notes, but he has made a couple of post, mainly of the: ”Here's how you write x, y and z...” and ”As a Professor of Psychology, I can tell you...” variety, that have about 10 000 notes -Has a chill time on Tumblr -Only uses Tumblr on desktop. Has never even seen the app. -Completely unironically reblogs every cool skeleton on a motorcycle pic
Joker:
-Joined in 2013 -The only reason he joined is because he once came across a horny drawing of Batman and searching for the artist led him to Tumblr. -Starts writing a post, gets distracted mid way though and starts doing something else. Comes back to Tumblr 3 hours later, notices he was making a post, doesn't even bother rereading it despite not remembering what it was about and just hits posts. His blog is full of completely incomprehensible post that just stop mid way through -Makes a couple post that get so popular they are still making rounds today. They will always have additions like: ”I still can't believe this post was made by the fucking Joker” and ”Joker had a Tumblr?!” -Forgot his password a month after joining and never visited the site again. Barely remembers he ever had an account -Those true crime people still harvest his 20-post-pathetic-excuse-for-a-blog-blog for content to this day all the while completely ignoring all the rogues with still active (and better) blogs. They are saying things like: ”Ooohhhh, it's like a deep dive into his twisted mind :00” and are always trying to find some hidden symbolism and meaning behind all his ”just farted so loud it scared the neighbor's cat” kinda posts.
Eddie:
-Joined in 2011 -759752974576 sideblogs, 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts -When he's really low he'll post a poll like: ”Be honest, am I cute? Yes/No” and then has his 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts hit ”Yes” and somehow ”No” still wins. He deletes the whole post. -Posts the most obvious ”and everybody clapped” Tumblr fake stories you've seen. When he gets called out, he pretends you were supposed to figure out they were fake -Has an awful time on Tumblr, but can't delete, because he's addicted to getting notes -Always falls for every one of those post where OP pretends to be stupid on purpose (i.e. smooth sharks, putting fingers in guns etc.) -Posts riddles everyday that even his biggest haters cannot help but try and solve -Sends himself hatemail so he can post the witty comeback he just came up with. Forgot to hit anon once and people just won't let it go
Hugo:
-Banned for posting cock :/
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heterophobicdyke · 11 days
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One of my aunties was raped and abused by her husband for decades, and when she tried to leave he stabbed the priest who helped her and threatened to kill her entire family including me. She went back.
Another of my aunties was raped and abused by her boyfriend for years. He smashed in the windows of my grandparents house while I was inside, 7 years old. Cops didn’t do shit.
My Nan’s best friend and her kids were chased down train tracks by the husband with a gun, shooting after them. They ran to my grandparents house and he dropped the gun because my pop said he would have to shoot him to come inside and kill the family.
My grandparents next door neighbour’s DOCTOR husband, no proof of abuse before, murder-suicided him and his family.
Another of my Nans (recently dead) had 16 siblings, most girls. They were all molested by their father, my great grandfather. My nan’s sister told us recently that she slept with the door locked and a window open so if he came in she could run. My nan got into a cycle of abusive relationships, suicide attempts and addiction for the rest of her life. She died because male doctors wouldn’t listen to the seriousness her stomach problems.
My dad was extremely verbally abusive to my whole family and emotionally/psychologically abusive to my mum while I was growing up and he only didn’t get consistently physical (he did towards my mum a couple of times as well as smacking us kids) because he saw his own dad beat his mum (the one in the above paragraph) to a pulp multiple times, including when she left because her husband was cheating with one woman and seeing multiple prostituted women.
I have multiple other relatives who were raped and abused by their husbands. One made her fuck a dog.
When I was 15/16, my friends were being taken advantage of 20+ year old men who even made one of my friends give a vile of her blood which he kept on him (and her), as a necklace, and he held a knife up to her throat when they “had sex.” She was told it was kinky and progressive. I found radical feminism on tumblr shortly after and it was the sex styles men have that turned me radical at 16. Not trans stuff. I was ripped from my high school friends and not allowed at any parties involving these men because I didn’t flirt and I didn’t fuck. I was a lesbian (who wasn’t even out at the time). I was a “frigid.”
My high school friends let me be treated this way by their male partners until the relationship would end and I’d have the salt and vinegar chips in hand and cradle them while they broke down that he was on to the next virgin pussy. Sorry but that’s how men see it and it’s how they are.
As an adult, I made really good friends with a bisexual woman at uni. We bonded over being the radical types of feminists. She got with a man. After years together I found out he cheated with a woman I know. At first she was done with him.l, when I told her. But he talked his way around to the point he made her stop talking to ME. Because I told her. In female bathrooms she kept trying to make out with me and tell me how sorry she was that in front of him she had to act like she didn’t know me, as if the only reason I cared was because I was a lesbian and “must have wanted to get with her.” I didn’t! I was there for her as a friend!!!
My cousin got with a dude who gave me a job as a writer. At first, I could write as many words as I wanted. Gradually I realised I was there for him to prove to her family he was a good person to be with. He stopped paying me, it started coming out of her account, and at that point I left the job. She’s not with him anymore—he physically/emotionally/psychologically abused her, starved her cat, hurt her kids—and we repaired our connection.
I’ve always been the lesbian friend/fam member having to watch my OSA besties/family being abused by men while they don’t listen to me. I’ve just got to stand and watch until they’re ready to get with the next abuser.
My family is a normal Australian family. We are not known for having it especially horrible, despite not being well to do with money. This is normal.
I am NOT THE ONE to talk to about how great your boyfriend or husband is and how radical you are for staying with him because you have enough money to donate to your local woman’s shelter. I am NOT THE ONE.
These examples are why I became a radical feminist. But I was a lesbian since birth. Only had crushes on girls and women since birth. Didn’t make a choice. But I think Mother Nature made me lesbian because of the abuse my family—not unlike other families, like yours, your family just might not have been as transparent with you—has endured. As an evolutionary thing. I have a right to discuss male/female relationships so go fuck yourself.
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WIBTA if i cut off someone reaching out for help on tumblr? i am a very anxious person. ive been on tumblr a very long time because most all other social media terrifies me as someone who grew up with the wild west internet a decade past (im in my late 20s) so i feel sometimes with how reckless and spurractic people can be online in chatroom and especially clearly public platforms where any stranger, malicious or otherwise can just archive your digital presence for personal use.
more recently as someone who has been here during the pornban and as an asexual really enjoyed the quiet with no drama farming and a slow pace to talk about more unique political topics in a measured way it is something im strangely nostalgic for and a great example of my sensibilities to people when they insist that i use other platforms like discord or twitter or whatever clone for these services comes out of the old guard introducing feature creep to copy everyone else or any other indi "were the anti corporate version" of the endless scroll apps. i just dont want it. tumblr is special because im desktop only, been here for years, and i have kept track of every single change made so i have manually adjusted the change through hacks to evade every bad decision on here and make my set up look identical to how it was in 2010. so let it be understood that i tend to be a loney person because of this stubbornness. web 3.0 is too dangerous to people with addictive tendencies that my adhd brings out and my need to wear my heart on my sleeve. so i hope i defended my personality type enough to show why someone like me would see a post about some horrible abuses they have fell victim to who also share alot of the marginalized status as me and writing depressive things in the replys of others posts as to attention seek about it.
i directly interact with this person, not only to check if they are real (but wow, modern chat bots make this part horrifying for me. we really cant ever know for sure what is real anymore. trying to find warmth on the internet feels impossible now a days) i have multiple conversations at this point both venting and just casually shooting the shit. but the begging for me to constantly repost their paypal makes me so nervous in a way that i feel so guilty for because it reminds me of all the scams that get associated with this kind of ebegging and the reminder that capitalism takes away all warmth from human interaction to make them purely transnational and conditional. but then it just has been escalating where im so scared that now its not enough that im reposing on my 8 follower, all mutual blog, they are asking me to share it on other socials. accounts i do not have i have a flip phone and a laptop and i am tinkering with a windows 7 tower that will never be connected to the internet so i can always have software sit perfectly in its time capsule for when i need it. i do not have a way to help this person outside of what i learned from collage psyche classes. a part of me is so scared to just abruptly cut them off and just delete my entire account like i tend to do often on tumblr for a multitude of reasons, its a part of what lets people survive being here this long but i worry that would crush them if i did that, i dont want to make them feel more hopeless and unwanted then they already talk about. but i am text on the internet through a screen. i can only do so much. so would i be the asshole if i just deleted my account with a "i hope you hang in there, the world is a harsh place but keep moving" to cut someone so similar to me who is struggling out of my life?
What are these acronyms?
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pandoraslxna · 9 months
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Hi Luna, I hope you're having beautiful days and enjoying Kinktober! 💙
A lot of people have been reaching out to me asking if I'm OK, and I'm so sorry for pulling Gone Girl, I never meant to make anyone worried, so I want to explain. I am all right, I still love Avatar and this fandom with my whole heart, but I've been enjoying this blissful escape a bit too much and I need to be fully functional in the real world again. My boyfriend and I have a start-up for graphics software. It's just the two of us and the market is brutal now that the AI has swolloved everyone. And I've been spending too much time online instead of working. And my boy is so nice he never even said a word, he saw how I enjoyed writing and making pictures of our cute aliens, so he supported me. And now I want to support him back and focus on the work, which I realized I cannot do while being addicted to tumblr 😅 So I deactivated the blog, because I knew it would always be tempting me if I didn't. It wasn't easy and I will miss you all so much. Thank you for all the support, this fandom is really something else ♥️
All of my pictures, fanfics and my c.ai characters are on my website: cinetrix.org If people want to follow me, I have twitter and Ao3. I still want to write and make pics in my free time, but I need to heavily limit the time I spend online, cause I can't play this gently, I always fall right into the trap! 😅
About my c.ai characters - guys, I am so sorry I deleted my account there too. I had this moment of 'oh, I need to get rid of all the addictive stuff in my life' and just nuked it. But I realized the characters were no longer mine to take down with me. The moment I published them, they became yours. So I uploaded them back - I tweaked them a little bit so I think they're even better now 😉
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Neteyam -- Ao'nung
That's it from me. Bye guys, I love you so much. Enjoy Kinktober and take good care of yourselves 💙
Cinetrix
Oh my precious star, I’m so happy to hear from you and to see that you’re okay! It’s good to know that you’ve chosen a path that is best for you and I 100% support you in your decision. 🥹
I hope you know that we will all continue to support you and your works on Twitter and ao3, and that we as a fandom will forever appreciate and treasure the amazing content you contributed. The positivity you spread through your kind and wholesome personality was something that made me look up to you and fall even more in love with this fandom. You and your blog were truly one of my safe spaces and I’m so incredibly grateful and proud that I can call you my friend!!
We all wish you only the very best in your life and that you and your bf will have a successful business with your graphic-software start-up! I love you so much, please stay safe and even though this isn’t a goodbye I will miss seeing you on here.
Thanks for everything, pookie. I’m sending you the biggest hug!! 🫂🥹🩵
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P.s: ​your personal message made me tear up a little omg.
You’re truly one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here and i can’t tell you enough how much I love you. I won’t share this ask on here because of your personal infos, but I wanted to let you know that I received it and I will treasure your kind words forever. 🩵
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kings-and-stars · 10 months
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Hi! I am Kings and Stars, and I have emergency commissions open.
I am a young, adult artist living with my older brother who is irresponsible and has a severe food addiction which causes him to spend money he doesn't have when he shouldn't. Because of this, he never has his half of rent, let alone bill money, and I need to make up for it, as well as pay bills. I work a part time job as a manager at ablocal food chain, and at this point in time, there are not enough hours to go around for me to earn a liveable wage. The amount I have in my account is not enough to cover my half for next month's rent.
I need commissions right now, so if you cannot be a client, please pass this message forward so that I have a wider reach and more commission opportunities.
I have a Carrd attached that details everything from price, turnaround, methods of communication, and TOS at the bottom.
If you are someone who knows of a client who's interested, start a group chat with us and then leave so that we can discuss the commission.
I will ONLY be accepting Simple Scene commissions or higher.
Simple Scenes have a turnaround of about 2-3 weeks depending on complexity of pose(s) and are charged at $40, and an additional $15 for any extra characters.
My Carrd has many examples, but I am willing to send more.
I can do: Humans, robots, animals, furries, skeletons, and more
I CANNOT do: mecha, cars, buildings
I will accept: gore, NSFW, fluff, angst, Fandom artwork, pet portraits
I will NOT accept: zoophilic or pedophilic art, artwork of real people, anti LGBT work
You can reach me HERE on Tumblr
You can reach me at EldritchWyrm on Discord
And you can reach me on Instagram @ kings_and_stars0096
https://kingsandstarscommissionsheet.carrd.co/
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electricpurrs · 6 months
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helloooo yes i am here to do finding-source work again. sorry i got addicted
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anyways you may have seen the image above, i've seen it making rounds a lot on tumblr for being featured on the Wikipedia page for Caramelldansen, with the description "a furry performs Caramelldansen, 2009"
i really like this pic, and ive been curious about it for a while, specially because since its only seen from the back i really wanted to know what the suit looked like from the front
well, very fortunately to me, Wikipedia is very throughout with citing its sources both for its text and for its images. you can just go see all the details given by Wikipedia on this pic yourself right here
but regardless of all this info i got whats important, who the fursuit is and who it belongs to!
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here it describes the suit as "Natalie Ceviche Lima", which leads to a page on Wikifur that explains that Natalie Ceviche Lima is the name of the fursuit, which belongs to a french user called Luciole.
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the suit itself was created by the company Luskwood Creatures, and then put for sale. and fortunately, you can find the website post where it was announced for sale here
AAAAND BOOM! full pics of the suit!
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including a video showcasing it being used in a con in 2008
youtube
as for who it belongs to, we know that because Luciole is the username of a FurAffinity user, who after the suit was put for sale in December 2008, started posting pictures of themself wearing the suit in January 2009, which matches the date in the Wikipedia image saying the suit was being used to perform Caramelldansen in 2009 (therefore, by Luciole)
though i won't link any posts i found from Luciole's FurAffinity as it seems they disabled their account so their content couldnt be accessed anymore, and i'll respect that.
but regardless this was very fun and im glad to finally satisfy my curiosity for knowing what the suit looked like!
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olderthannetfic · 4 months
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I don’t know if it's appropriate on this blog but I'm just going for it. How do people make friends in fandom? How do you all manage it? I've been bouncing from fandom to fandom for more than 15 years and have been mostly lurking for the better part of those years. It has been very hard to find friends just in general because of my shyness and all this antiship/proship discourse is making it even harder to even consider putting myself out there. Everyone just seems insufferable. Even the ship and let ship crowd.
A thing I've noticed is that while the proship spaces have better attitudes towards fiction/fandom/fanfic in general there exists this weird hate boner about people with canon ships (in my personal experience, just last week I stumbled on a tweet from a self identified proship account telling people that they shouldn't read fanfic of their blorbos because they are canonically together which made me go huh) and there exists this strange superiority complex, a "you're not enlightened like me" attitude (it's very strange and especially prominent among people who identify as proship and ship the big m/m ship in fandoms of material catered towards male audiences, ik this because I was guilty of this superiority too at one point). Honestly, this "enlightenment", the hypocrisy of preaching ship and let ship but only the way I deem correct (last week I saw a big a proship account shade shippers of a specific rival ship right under their thread about how we shouldn't generalize and I think I lost brain cells) and condescending attitude of "I am not boring like you" and "You're doing fandom wrong" is one of the reasons that has turned me off those spaces more and more. I've noticed it once and can't unsee it because it all gives off this mean girl (gender neutral) energy and puts me off interacting.
On the other hand a lot of the ship and let ship spaces that prefer the canon ships tend to be very anti adjacent even if they actually practice ship and let ship (screaming and crying about sexualization of minors, throwing out phrases like porn addict around). I've seen some very strange sentiments about Europeans there (like thanks for informing me that all of us are monstrous bloodthirsty cannibals I guess) and Japan (which is ironic because it's mostly anime fandoms doing it). It doesn't make me wanna associate with them either.
--
*dying*
Nonnie, do you know how staggeringly often I get this question?
A big part of the answer is to not be a lurker. There are reasonable people out there, but they're much less visible than loud assholes, so the best way to find them is for them to find you.
Many of my closest fandom friends are people I met offline, either because they live near me or because we went to cons together. Others are people who turned up in replies on tumblr regularly. You need repeated contact that's memorable enough to recall the person as a distinct individual. I sometimes find that hard online. It really depends on frequency and them having something to say plus a good writing voice.
I know lots of people are shy or prefer to be lurkers. I get why. But you'll rarely meet anyone that way.
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9-istol · 6 months
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◜ Ghost x Male Reader
◟ Fluff & a bit of angst
237 Words
Till it’s no more, but It’ll be Forever
“I’ll give you all my love till you decide you don’t want it anymore.”
“I’ll always want your love. I always want every part of you.”
. . .
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“I’ll give you all my love till you decide you dont want it anymore.”
“I’ll always want your love. I always want every part of you.”
Ghost couldnt help but feel the doubt. He knew the other man loved him, but the subconscious doubt of not being enough for the other was still there. Leaving a horrid and rottening feeling in his mind and the pit of his stomach. It was a horrible feeling that made his stomach tighten and twist. The tightening reached his throat. Ghost knew he wouldnt be able to respond without having his words choked up. So he didnt respond as he just pulled his lover into a hug. Chest to chest. Face burried in the others neck. Each others heartbeats felt. Taking in the intimacy. Taking in the others scent.
My god. how addictive the others scent was. Ghost knew he could never get tired of the scent. It was so familiar, and it warmed ghost’s heart. Making the warmth of feelings and intimacy increase.
Both filled to the brim with love. Familiarity, comfort, and safety. It all felt so right in this moment. It absolutely did as they swayed back and forth in each other’s embrace. Forgetting everything else but the two of them. The rest of the world didnt matter anyways when they had each other, right? At least not right now.
“I love you, Si’.”
..
“I love you too.”
Till it’s no more, but It’ll be Forever
Ao3 Account | Masterlist
A/N :
hello! this is my first time posting on tumblr (i’ve got an ao3 acc i’ve been posting on), but this’ll probably only be a one time thing because it was only 237 words. and i’d like to mention that i have a ghoap one-shot in the works! so stay tuned for that with the lack of my writing.
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onlyancunin · 11 days
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I feel better now, a little update
First and foremost I want to thank you for all the reactions under the last post. I feared I'd get angry messages, I remember the last time I was on Tumblr (10+ years ago, I was in Loki/Avengers and SPN fandoms back then), if I tried to post "too much heavy personal stuff" that ruffled someone's feathers, I'd get hateful anons. I was fully prepared to get attacked again but the reaction was so accepting and supporting it honestly makes me cry. I was really, really ready to get berated, so seeing quite the opposite feedback really touches me. From the bottom of my fucked up heart - thank you. For listening, letting me know you listened, for messaging me, for relating with me.
Sending back words of encouragement and little boosts of strength your way ✨✨✨ to anyone reading. Whatever it is that's pissing you off today, grab the bling bling and beat the sh# sh# out of it.
If I learned anything along the way it's not how ruined the life is that makes getting out of it hard. It's believing we deserve something better.
And after how many years of shit... PURE SHIT... I think we do deserve something better. If not our of self-love, then out of f-ing spite and up yours to whatever that left you so broken you believe you're beyond help. I cling onto the notion that nobody, me included, is beyond help, no matter what happened. I cling on it like my life depends on it because it does.
Sorry for the tangent, I feel very emotional rn. And grateful. I've ordered soup, I'll try to feed myself. My whole body is sore, I had the most intense and weird dreams revolving around the dichotomy of good and evil in life. How one feeds off of the other, essentially all being one and the same, just dressed in a makeup that makes it more digestible, depending on who thinks they deserve what. I slept for 13 hours straight and any other day I'd say I feel like shit but compared to yesterday, I feel like a fucking god. I'm literally sore from my muscles tensing for hours, but at least the shivers are gone.
What a timeline.
Sending hugs. If anyone wants to speak, my dms are open. I'm no expert in battling addiction, but I have 10+ years of experience. And I know a thing or two about hating oneself.
Bonus- my emotional support cat named Cas (after the holy tax accountant) :
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✨✨✨
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xpc-web-dev · 1 year
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No, you are not alone. I also start things, give up, procrastinate, live the future and not the present and complain about my life not moving forward while I spend time looking at other people's lives.
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Hello everyone, how are you?
I hope well.
I was thinking of giving up this tumblr and just as I started everything from scratch to study programming (github, linkedin, notion and I even created another google account) start a new tumblr.
I even commented briefly a few weeks ago with @lostlibrariangirl who supported me to just continue on this one and see my evolution. And today I was thinking that this could be cool not only for me, but for other dropouts, who are frustrated that they think they'll never get to where they want to go and et cetera.
If you've been following me since the beginning of this year, you've already seen that I never completed any course and I assume that I gave up on the most difficult parts, besides the constant anxiety of getting a job in technology and thinking that I would never get it and that made me procrastinate, suffer and not live the present studying.
I gave up on one of the scholarships I got and now I'm catching up on the delay (it's until the 7/30th)
Nowadays my mental health has improved a lot, thanks to my elders.
And also thanks to them I understood that I was going around in circles, being lazy, not trying 100%, being stubborn in a stupid way (for me stubbornness is a quality, if you know how to use it) and spending too much time on other people's lives and not mine.
Also, today it's easier for me not to feel so much anxiety because I no longer have the goal of getting a job registered as a dev this year, so I'm starting to learn from scratch EVERYTHING AGAIN only this time better and really trying hard.
In my case I wasn't doing my best, trying hard and that's why I fell so many times. I don't like the word failure/failure, as I learned from an older, mistake it's study/learning and not failure.
Now in May, for example, I started studying Linux from scratch (my system that I'm confused to understand), git and github. I was all this time without really understanding these 3 tools, just doing it without understanding / in a lazy way and that didn't give me confidence.
And I don't think we need to memorize it, but it's nice to understand and practice.
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This print from above is me studying after writing and repeating to myself that I WILL ONLY START a new cycle after ending the old one.
And I hope to share this journey here.
I have a lot to study, whether in back-end or front-end, but I'm not in a hurry and that's why I'm progressing.
So if you're reading this far and you're going through the same thing I was, I wanted to give you some unsolicited advice.
Spend your energy, do physical exercises. Because anxiety can only be resolved with a psychiatrist, but exercises help.
Understand why you procastine, what is making you feel frustrated or afraid? Did you find out? How can you solve this?
If you don't finish something to start another and it HURTS you (if it doesn't hurt, that's fine), try to understand why you give up? Where is making you insecure / afraid? And after you understand this, strive to finish everything you start (I know it's hard, but we need this)
Get off social media for a bit. For me tumblr is what I spend the least time on, but it's very easy to lose hours on instagram and tiktok.
And guess what, that time we spend doesn't come back and unless you work with these networks that ALSO won't give you any money / jobs.
So, if possible, start to regulate your period in these environments. At first it's difficult because your brain is addicted, but after a while it works out and your version of the future (if you invest that time studying and working) will thank you.
I wish you all to be well and not sabotage yourself to achieve your goals.
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togament · 25 days
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Hi Bibi, i just want to say you’re doing amazing and your post are literally ADDICTING. I was a little worried because I didn’t know if Wind Breaker would get a lot of attention on Tumblr yk? (Just because it’s new) AND YOU CAME AND SAVED ME. I love you, your brain, and your page. Please keep going and I WOULD LOVE to hear your thoughts on new episodes/chapters (only if you want). Thank you for feeding my delulu brain. Hugs 🫂
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OH YOU SWEETHEART COME HERE YOU!!!! 🫂 I’M NOT CRYING I SWEAR.
thank you for the kind words dhdjkd i don’t know if i’m worthy of such praise too like—everyone leaving cute (and unhinged ofc) stuff in the tags and in my inbox gets me all giddy and blushy and!!!!!! Seeing you guys enjoying my stupid ramblings means the absolute world to me (i see you guys in the tags and i read every single one. Love you you freaks 😏) fun fact, I only started writing fics on this account and only for windbreaker so all the interactions and thirsty feedback I get genuinely, genuinely makes my heart do the boom boom. So smooches to every one of you!!!!!! (only if you want them. you could exchange it for a headpat if you want ig)
ok enough of the sappy stuff. WINDBREAKER TIME!
windbreaker blowing up on tumblr is so so so well deserved. i was genuinely shocked because it took a little bit for the hype to catch on???? the seiyuus are literal legends (in my eyes hehe), the animation’s SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HELLO!??, the op and ending song aren’t ass??????? I’m super excited for what’s to come for our fandom and the anime. ALSO fun fact, I have the fattest crush on Umehara Yuichiro so him voicing Togame literally brought me to my god damn knees, bro. I’m expecting Eguchi Takuya to secure a character too bc ofjfkdkd his voice would be perfect for a villain.
also may or may not have picked windbreaker up bc I saw a character named Kiryu and an eyepatched character and I 😮👈😮👈 YAKUZA REFERENCE!!!!! (probably not but the coincidence is silly to me)
I’m not super caught up on the anime (on episode 7 atm!) I wanna savor every episode and binge them back to back (also bc my hubby’s got so much screentime I wanna savor that him EVEN MORE YUM YUM YUMMY). Caught up on the manga though and I Have Thoughts.
(spoilers under the cut)
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the endo fight’s scaring me, man. also super fucking worried about ume bc WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM FOR SO LONG??? the chair throw spooked me. also worried about ume’s vegetable garden. I know it’s getting trampled to shit. also very worried about sakura. he’s getting all banged up by endo, his nose is probably broken now wtf he was bleeding SO MUCH.
chika’s scary too. both him and endo. i honestly don’t know what’s gonna happen next like, they’re both so unpredictable and unhinged that my butthole’s clenching in sheer terror.
I’m also very concerned about suo. WHY HAVE WE NOT SEEN HIM EATING (or maybe I’ve missed a panel lol) but with every food offer he’s ever been given, he turns them down. also the fact that we only know him on a surface’s surface level even when he’s one of the main boys is scaring me. we’re 140+ chapters deep and not one single suo morsel for us to nibble on. I don’t want a betrayal thing happening ok lol that would be my tipping point i fear.
OKAY I WAS RAMBLING TOO MUCH AHDHSHAHHA
if you guys want me to yap about a chapter or an episode or potential seiyuus for other characters or if you just want my thoughts on things (i am a Certified Yapper), i am directing you to the askbox! This was super fun!! Extremely forgetful too so this could help me remember all the stuff that’s happened so far.
thank you so much again for sending over an askkskfnnxnx heaven knows i needed a little pick me up today. you delivered and made my entire day, sweetheart!!!!! Ily!!!!!!! 🥹
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gender-trash · 4 months
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okay i AM going to turn reblogs off for this one --
i think we need to talk more about the collective trauma of being part of an online community that a different online community is directing coordinated, nonstop harassment towards. this is the part of the post i am so close to deleting or leaving in the drafts, because i'm (still!) anticipating anon asks like, how dare YOU, an asexual, compare YOUR experience to that of REAL queer people -- and i have no experience of being a transfeminine person on tumblr but i get the impression it is way way worse than aphobia was at its height. but like -- the experience of having your queer subcommunity harassed sucks! hardcore sucks! and has a variety of shitty knock-on effects on the health of the community! and i wanna commiserate with other people who've had that experience!
(also, i can't stand the sj "how dare you compare bad thing A to bad thing B when B is clearly much worse" rhetorical move. sometimes bad things are bad in similar ways and it's useful to talk about that similarity without necessarily making any claims about relative severity.)
i also think we need better tools and mental models for thinking of harassment as not just a one-to-one relationship, but a many-to-many relationship -- "moderation" as a concept seems to exclusively deal with individual posts or at best individual accounts, when, like. the social graph exists; clustering algorithms exist; i don't trust their reliability enough to want to bring down the website banhammer on anyone in a particular cluster, but i would absolutely fucking love a "block this blog and everyone within three degrees of separation of them" button. or something along those lines -- hey, i'm just spitballing here. a mental model of bad actors on a website as not just individual bad actors, but badly-acting communities with internal dynamics.
in every community of recreational bullies i've ever closely observed on tumblr (terfs, truscum, aphobes, various flavors of shipping drama), the following dynamics are present:
members of the community socially reward other members for engaging in harassment, and encourage new members to engage in harassment
members of the community screenshot and pass around often-equally-rude responses from the people they're harassing, as "proof" that these people are Incredibly Harmful and therefore the harassment is Morally Good, even Important, and that the harassing community are actually embattled victims valiantly fighting the oppressor
usually an Opposition Community forms, with the mission of harassing the bully community and exactly the same group dynamics, and the "original" bullies + opposition bullies become a self-sustaining feedback loop of harassment, because each group is constantly giving the other one more material to pass around and rile themselves up with
each community forms an incredibly specific and characteristic dialect of shorthand language that updates frequently as the community they're harassing gets wise and starts blacklisting keywords (when i was most recently on a terf blocking spree, "febfem", "TiM", and "moid" were big ones). engaged community members rapidly become unable to interact with anyone who is not Very Online, isolating them so that the community is now their main social circle
eventually the community comes up with some chain of reasoning, no matter how strained, for calling the objects of their hatred pedophiles
occasionally someone in the community will actually Go Too Far and bring down the banhammer on themselves. they remake their blog within days or weeks (due to the profit incentives of running a social media website, users are sucked into becoming hopelessly addicted -- especially users who are in so deep that they can no longer figure out how talk to people who aren't up on the Incredibly Specific Group Vocabulary). they are promptly passed around as a martyr
you'll notice that the main forces that keep the feedback loop going are a feeling of victimization -- if you feel like you're a righteous, oppressed victim, then you can justify little a death threat as a treat against the evil outgroup who is oppressing you, right? -- a community that rewards its members socially both for harassing others and for being harassed, and isolationist tendencies that make it difficult for community members to get social reward anywhere other than within the community.
it seems that, if you want to be able to deal with a group like this, you need to have some strategy for countering those forces -- whereas conventional moderation efforts mostly feed into the victimization mindset. maybe you need to somehow wall off the harassing community and the responding opposition harassers from each other, so that as far as each group is concerned the other one doesn't exist. maybe you need better tools so users with the characteristics that the harassing community targets can block the entire harassing community all at once. i don't actually know! but i doubt we're going to get anywhere without at least a basic understanding of system dynamics!!
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