#BUT here on tumblr I can vet who’s allowed to follow me and i sure as hell do not feel comfortable with kids under 18 following me

[raccoonspooky]

if youre a minor and i find that you follow me im blocking you!

[socaltickle5]

Not sure who amongst you tickling/kink friends needs to hear this right now…Please Reblog and comment if you feel inclined and agree! Maybe your interaction with this post will reach and help someone in need in our great Tickling Community!! At the very least, hopefully it will help warmly welcome any new/exploring community member!!

But, in a recent conversation with one of my favorite people from the tickling/kink community (who I care deeply about), she told me that she was a lurker for a long time because of fears and inhibitions she built up about immersing herself in the community and her tickling desires. Those fears were:

1- Of herself, and how she’d be perceived/desired within the community. From her attraction, to her laugh/smile, to her ticklishness and others, there was fears of how she was to be perceived.

2- The safety aspect and the general ‘stranger danger’

3- If there are actually any humans that she could have an organic connection she needs from a potential play partner within the community.

4- Just the myriad of unknown scenarios when entering a kink community.

5- Fear of rejection

I’m here to say all of that is okay! That’s human nature to find comfort and safety in protecting yourself from the unknown! You are validated in your feelings, and validated in any approach you take towards your participation level within the community! I myself was VERY overwhelmed with anxiety and shame and fear of the unknown! I felt a ton of shame and taboo about my tickling kink/Dom desires! I felt those feelings over a decade ago (when I first decided to participate), and those fears and inhibitions and anxieties will never be forgotten by me because of how real/deeply I felt them!! I felt all 5 of those fears I listed above!

But, I’m also here to say that I’ve personally never felt happier than when I took that leap! I had to put aside my inhibitions and fears! Our inner peace is everything, and I felt most balanced and proud of myself for allowing my desires to be explored! All of us GET the privilege of being DESERVING of our own happiness! And, with that comes the fact that we are all WORTHY of exploring our desires without shame!! There’s no right or wrong way to enter or approach the tickling community other than what works for YOU!

Through many messages on tumblr/fetlife/reddit and other kink social medias, I’ve been told endlessly over the years about these same scenarios/fears/inhibitions that are preventing someone from their own desires. I know many of my followers on here are struggling with those same feelings currently. YOU DO YOU! And, when you embrace your desires on your own time and at your own comfort level, I’m sure you’ll be proud of yourself as well! And, the best part is, the majority of this community will welcome you with open arms! I, for one, am happy to talk with anyone (no minors) if any of you need comfort, or just someone to talk about all of this with! I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I am coming from a place of experience and shared feelings/concerns.

Please, always prioritize safety and vetting as well! You cannot allow your enthusiasm for play to mask 🚩 that pop up with potential partners! PROTECT YOURSELF!

To sum this all up, YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. We cannot control or change the past! Nor can we worry about what we’ve missed out on. You’re the author of the next chapter of your own life, I encourage you to write it your own way with your inner peace and happiness as the focus of the plot!

[voidsweirdthoughts]

To my dear new ppl who could a bit lost in the beginning:

Henlo, and welcome to the marvellous world of Tumblr!! :D

Here are some stuffs that may come in handy when posting:

1: most people here is super nice, it surprised me when I first got here that it was not proffesional at all like in other social media, many people are friendly and try to help you grow :)

But that doesn´t mean everyone´s safe!! This is still the internet, and no matter how nicely this person is asking for your IP adress (not that obviously ofc), you should still be careful with what you say!!

2: this is not as important, but smth I think is very good is that the creators aren´t money hungry. It makes me very happy when I see funny things coming from the staff, such as the error messages. So: silly, no serious money money company!! (yay~!!)

3: there´s no algorithm. Tumblr just puts in your feed whatever is in the platform, so you may see a tiny, new creator instead of a recognized one.

So don´t relay on likes, they´re more of a bookmark: if you want to support someone, reblog better. If not, the post gets buried and may disappear between the rest of the content

4: No matter how new or little your blog is, money asks are EVERYWHERE. When you get activity from your inbox, most of the time it´s going to be a person in Gaza that needs help. My first time I thought it was a scam and freaked out, but don´t worry, follow this steps and it should be fine:

-See if they have any verification (check their blog or the ask in search of a tag from a vetter or a number in a vetting list) if you want to make sure you´re not endangering anyone.

-Then, if it´s safe, you can anwser it by putting something like "!!" or clarifying "I don´t have any money in me, sorry, but if any of you has, please make sure to donate in their campaign" if you´re a minor.

If it has no verification, you can either dismiss it or respond it tagging a vetter in that same post

5: if you´re posting any kind of art (writing, music, drawing..), go to settings and unable the option of “allow third-party sharing for (your blog)”. This will avoid your possible future/current carreer to be stolen by a robot :>

Aanyways, if anyone got more tips for our dear new tumblrs, plz leave them in the comment thingy so I can put them here too 😊

[livingobserver]

Keep in Mind.....

If you are not Following very many Tumblr's at this point and I'm just one of the few. If I am not here and active. If you become insanely bored but you have nothing better to kill time with..., there is always my Tumblr Archive. It is in fact, filled with treasures and still growing. It will not be everything you 'Like', but it is still better than waiting around for others who may be inactive in the moment. Remember also that most Tumblr's, have their own Archives. Within, are their treasures as well. You get to know a Tumblr much faster by visiting their Archive and taking the time to really observe. Data Collection is doing it..., why shouldn't you? But my 'Likes'? No you don't get to see them. I reserve that for Tumblr's A.I. and Third Party stalkers. Because that's just the nature of this environment. I suppose I could just not click on 'Like'. But that would be unfair to those I do appreciate in their contributions to Tumblr. Anyway, my Archive is enough transparency and through that..., personal exposure. It should suffice. You are free to question me at any time. But trolls and Bots will be Blocked as well as any general lack of respect in Messaging. I don't tolerate stupidity. Be respectful, or be gone. Simple really. Having said all that, my Archive here is for you and other Tumblr's, just as much as it is there for myself. It is there for you to find links to those I have Re-Blogged from. But be warned not all I have linked to through Re-Blogging..., is, shall we say "SFW ( Safe For Work), or you have a Child or any other sensitivities looking over shoulder. I draw inspiration from 5,000 Tumblr's. I'm seldom bored. I fear nothing. Only blatant stupidity can Trigger me and I seldom find that in the Tumblr's I have chosen to 'Follow', nor in those that I allow to 'Follow'. Does that last part sound Arrogant? I assure you it is not. Because Tumblr is surely "What you make it", and to make it what you want and need..., you must be discerning, in what is best for YOU. Which is why I have no problem, nor do I take offense nor issue with those that would choose to 'Unfollow', or even 'Block' me. I understand this jungle as much as anyone can and that will become apparent in my Archive should you choose to Vet me there. Most Sincerely, Scott

[cabaretofwords]

Hi! Do you mind me asking how writblr works? I am new to tumblr and writblr.

Hey Love, thanks for the ask! And welcome to this little part of the internet.

I know there are detailed posts out there on this but I haven't been able to find them (if anyone has one, please feel free to link it!)

Writeblr is a community on Tumblr focused on writing. Most people I interact with are writing novels (as am I), but there are definitely people writing poetry and short stories and comics. Anyone who thinks themselves a writer can have a writing blog, even if we are not actively writing (me again).

Writeblr works best when you are interacting with other community members. This can be done in lots of different ways.

You can use the dash - liking, commenting and reblogging are all ways of interacting with other writeblrs. Liking won't create further interaction or spread a post but it does say you were there, and you enjoyed yourself; a comment allows you to interact with the op (original poster) and other users without spreading the post, and a reblog puts the post on your blog and the dash of your followers. You can use tags to talk if you don't want to add to the post or you can leave your thoughts in text for anyone who reblogs from you to have on their blog.

You've figured out asks already - these are a great way to publicly interact with other writeblrs.

You may encounter ask games: a post of a list of questions with symbols or numbers, usually related to writing or the users writeblr. You can send these questions to the blog who reblogged them to find out more about them or their WIP. The etiquette around these posts is that, if you reblog one, you send an ask to the user you reblogged it from. You can also send asks to anyone who reblogs it from you, to help everyone who wants an ask is getting at least one.

Then there are tag games. When you get tagged in a tag game go and read the rules on the post and read OPs post while you are there. Then create an original post following said rules. Tag the person who tagged you at the top of the post, and then tag people to nominate them to play at the bottom. Sometimes the game has a number of people you should tag, other times it's up to you. I like to tag 3 people I've interacted with recently.

You do not have to play if you've been tagged. No one will harass you over it. Writeblr should be fun for you. There is no algorithm - you create your own experience here, so if you don't like someone, unfollow or block. Those buttons are there for a reason.

So you have a blog, you've followed a few people, you've reblogged some great posts. Might be time to tell us you're here and what you are interested in!

Enter Intro Posts.

There are two main kinds of intro post:

one that tells us who you are and what you like, what you are working on and what you like to write.

Then there is the WIP (work in progress) intro post that tells us about what you are writing, the characters and themes, why we should be interested.

Both posts are useful for finding your tribe on writeblr. To find new blogs and wips, or to look at different examples of what you can do you can search for "Wip into" and "writeblr intro". There are more tags but these terms will get you started.

I'm going to end this here. I hope it helps. I'm sure there is more, but I have to take my cat to the vet!

The main thing to remember is that this is a community. If you want interaction and for people to care about what you are working on you have to put it out there first. Interact in the ways you want to see in your notes.

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), LATE JULY 2024

Things have been hectic so this is a long one update - all the Etsy and other ecommerce news from the past month, broken down for your convenience!

Next week could be a big Etsy news week, with the 2nd quarter report being released, and the mature items ban kicking in. I'm also working on analysis of the new Creativity Standards, but we may not have more substantial information on those until Etsy makes another move. Right now the categories are a mess, but that could change.

A reminder that you can receive more timely updates plus exclusive content - including live chats with me on select topics such as Etsy's new Creativity Standards - by supporting my Patreon: patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

The European Union is considering making packages valued under 150 euros subject to customs duties when entering the EU. This is widely seen as a way to reduce Shein and Temu orders. 

The Etsy Creativity Standards announced on July 9th have a lot going on; here is my short summary so far. [post by me on Patreon] While I would not worry too much about this just yet, I expect them to be more important in the near future.  Etsy adding "Made by", "Handpicked by" to every listing is currently full of errors, but more disturbingly, even when a seller points out these errors with arguments from the written policy, Etsy Support is sometimes insisting that the designations are correct. For example, original paintings are lumped in with AI designs and digital downloads. [Post by me on LinkedIn] 

Amazon is imposing new rules regarding on-time delivery rates (OTDR); sellers that do not meet the standard of 90% on time delivery will not be able to continue selling. Businesses are exempted if they use the following tools: Shipping Settings Automation, Automated handling time, and Amazon Buy Shipping. Amazon is allowing only 5 days after shipment for products to arrive within the US. You can read the announcement and vigorous forum discussion here, and EcommerceBytes did a summary of the changes and some complaints.

ETSY NEWS 

As Etsy's widespread ban on many adult-themed products is about to take effect on Monday, I considered why Etsy felt the need to take far more drastic steps than Amazon & eBay has in the same markets. [post by me on Tumblr] The upcoming ban started by getting media attention from Mashable, and quickly escalated to the New York Times [not a gift link; soft paywall]. Etsy is still not commenting on why they are doing this. From the NYT article: "Even before the ban, it was getting harder to run his business, Mr. Goldstein said. So, he thought, “Why don’t we just make our own marketplace?” This year, he started the website Spicerack as an independent alternative to Etsy. The online boutique already has about 75 sellers, which are vetted to make sure they’re not “dropshippers” or simultaneously listing products on e-commerce behemoths like AliExpress or Amazon. Mr. Goldstein said that Spicerack is in the process of adding about 100 more sellers, half of whom signed up when the Etsy ban was announced." From the BBC: “In many countries there is pressure on platforms, sometimes backed by new legislation, to do more to prevent under-18s from encountering explicit content, and to remove illegal or "harmful" content from their platforms. Payment processors are also increasingly wary of working with platforms that enable sex based commerce....those concerns could be addressed by more clearly labelling and separating adult product listings..." The Guardian interviewed a few sellers who are affected.

While Etsy previously stated that the new shop set-up fee would be $15 USD, they quietly changed that, to whatever they feel like charging. [post by me on Patreon]

In case you missed it, the new listing form seems to be triggering Etsy Ads campaigns to start without the seller’s knowledge. [post by me on LinkedIn] Since my post, there are still more reports of this happening, and even more. 

I regret to inform you that Etsy’s Search Analytics are going to disappear after August 14 [post by me on LinkedIn], per a banner on the page.

Canadian sellers will have to pay a 1.15% “Regulatory Operating Fee” on all of their sales income (including shipping and gift wrap) starting August 15. This is likely due to a new law taxing large ecommerce platforms 3% of their Canadian income, which came into effect June 28. The tax applies retroactively back to the beginning of 2022, so Etsy is likely overcharging us to cover those earlier amounts. 

Sellers having difficulties with the domestic pricing tool not working correctly may want to try these tips from an Etsy forum thread: Set the domestic price to the global price amount, save, and then go back in and change the domestic price to your preferred amount, then save again. This apparently works for both new and existing listings, but there are 3 drawbacks: 1) it is time-consuming, 2) it needs to be done any time a listing is changed/edited (including renewals), and 3) it doesn’t seem to work for France. (I don’t ship to France so I cannot test the last point.) Remember, if you have a sale go through for the wrong price, contact Etsy and demand to be compensated the difference. 

Still don’t believe that Etsy is serious about shipping on time? See this Reddit thread by a seller who ignored a 30-day warning, so all of their items were removed from search. From this screenshot, it appears their average order value was fairly high, but that doesn’t mean Etsy will tolerate late shipping from shops with cheaper items, so beware. 

Etsy is testing filtering out digital items from search results unless the terms match a digital item search. See Etsy forum threads here and also here. 

A new academic study calls out Etsy and other online marketplaces for allowing illegally-killed bats to be sold on their sites. “We refute any assertion that the online bat trade is ethical. Again, statements that bats were captive-bred are absurd—bat farms are nonexistent—and it would be impossible for suppliers to find bats that have died naturally in the kind of condition and numbers needed to supply an ornamental trade. These bats were hunted.” The New York Times has also now covered this story [soft paywall]. 

The virtual seller education event Etsy Up is scheduled for September 10. You can register here, but there is no program yet. Usually this event has almost nothing worthwhile for experienced shops, and Etsy generally uses it to push their paid services and integrations along with basic info. 

Etsy is looking for sellers to join their Advocacy program and “share your story”. Beware that sometimes Etsy’s “advocacy” is as much for Etsy as for its sellers, so they are looking for stories that fit Etsy’s own goals. 

The Etsy Design Awards have opened; the final date for submissions is August 8. 

Etsy’s second quarter results for 2024 will be released July 31.

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

General

Shein and Temu are facing investigations under the EU’s Digital Services Act. “In a press release, the EU said it’s asking Shein and Temu for more information about measures they’ve taken to meet DSA obligations related to what’s known as “Notice and Action” mechanisms, which should allow users to notify the marketplaces of illegal products.It has also requested info related to the design of their online interfaces, which the pan-EU law mandates must not deceive or manipulate users, such as via so-called “dark patterns”.” Temu is also being sued by Arkansas for having an invasive app that is accused of harvesting data without user permissions. “According to the complaint, Temu is allegedly obscuring its unauthorized access to data through misleading terms of use and privacy policies that do not alert users to the full scope of data that the app can potentially collect. That includes not telling users about tracking granular locations for no defined purpose and collecting "even biometric information such as users’ fingerprints."

Amazon

Amazon now has an AI shopping “assistant” on its US app, called Rufus. “Customers can ask questions about products, comparisons and buying considerations. The AI can provide suggestions for specific tasks or projects.” As per usual with AI, “tests show Rufus doesn’t always provide accurate information.” A review from Marketplace Pulse notes that “Amazon’s AI assistant fails to help shoppers find the best product among the millions in the catalog. It transforms broad questions like “What are the best cycling gloves for winter?” into a few links to product searches — the same searches a shopper could have typed themselves. It refuses to make product recommendations, show specific products, or suggest from the thousands of options. It can’t directly answer the question, “What are the cheapest batteries for my TV remote?”

Any sellers who had items removed for being plants or seeds when they actually aren’t should follow the instructions linked to here to get the situation resolved. An Amazon employee warned sellers: “Please do not acknowledge the violations as these will result in the deactivation of your listings.” Affected businesses should instead appeal the flags.  

Amazon is planning a discount drop shipping from China section, widely seen to be competition to Temu and Shein. However, “[i]t is not clear if these shipments will be made using a U.S. trade provision that exempts individual packages worth less than $800 from U.S. customs duties.”

The European Commission has asked Amazon for more information on “recommender systems, ads transparency provisions and risk assessment measures.” 

Only 1% of US Amazon sellers also offer their items outside of North America. “Due to its proximity to the U.S., Canada has more successful sellers from the U.S. than Canada.” If you have a unique product, this could be an opportunity.  Amazon returns are creating huge workloads for UPS stores and other retailers that accept them. “Amazon “makes up about one-tenth of our profits, but it takes up about 90 percent of the working day,” said Jeremy Walker, a store associate who worked at a UPS Store near Dallas that received between 300 and 600 returns per day.”

Depop

After trying it out in the UK, Depop is removing selling fees for the United States, starting July 15. Payment processing fees still apply. “[B]buyers will now be charged a "marketplace fee" of up to 5% plus a fixed amount up to $1.”

An interview with Depop CEO Kruti Patel Goyal reveals they plan “to bring Depop to a bigger and broader audience over time.” 

eBay

eBay is slowly rolling out changes to the Active Listings page. 

eBay sellers can now get cash advance loans through Liberis, the balance of which gets paid as a percentage of the seller's sales. 

New sellers in the UK might see “automated feedback” on some of their orders, to "help [users] buy and sell with confidence". It will say "This seller successfully completed an order", and is removed once the actual buyer leaves feedback. 

Michaels MakerPlace

Abby Glassenberg reviews Michaels’ MakerPlace popups inside their retail stores. Results seem mixed.

Shopify

A few hundred thousand Shopify users may have had their names, addresses and other data put up for sale on July 3 after a breach. Shopify denies it had any security issues and claims the data came from a third-party app. There was a known data breach at Evolve Bank and Trust in June; that institution is a supporting partner for Shopify Balance. It does appear that Shopify is notifying the affected individuals.

Walmart Walmart is adding pre-owned collectibles to its marketplace. “Eligible categories include Toys (Figures, Dolls, Trains, Plushies, Games, LEGO, Funko, Diecast Cars & Hot Wheels); Media & Music (Movies, Vinyl, Music, SteelBooks, Musical Instruments & Entertainment Replicas); Trading Cards; Comic Books & Books; Sports Memorabilia; and Coins.”

All Other Marketplaces

Indiegogo is opening an ecommerce website for items created through crowdfunding campaigns on the platform, called IndieShop. 

Etsy-owned Reverb now has an “outlet” page, where businesses can sell off their overstock, seconds and out-of-date models for 20% off and free shipping. Most products sold through the main portion of Reverb are used, not new, so this competes with regular sellers. 

Not sure if selling on Faire is right for your business? Here’s a handmade-focussed review of the wholesale site.

Payment Processing

Klarna is now available through Adobe Commerce (previously Magento). 

Shipping

USPS rates for labels on most platforms went up July 1, ahead of the previously-announced July 14th increases. Ina Steiner re-posted the numbers from eBay and Pirate Ship. 

USPS released the addresses and other data of logged-in Informed Delivery users to Meta, LinkedIn and Snap. The company claims it didn’t know the data transfer was happening. 

The free USPS Priority medium shipping tubes are no longer being made, but you can still order existing stock. 

Royal Mail’s Tracked 28 & 48 are now available at post offices. 

UPS’s holiday surcharge rates for the US have been released; the lower surcharges start September 29th.

Shippo has new Canada Post rates from now until January, and the Tracked Packet rates to everywhere but the United States are cheaper than Etsy’s (which are based on Level 4 of Solutions for Small Business). Remember that Shippo makes you pay for a higher tier of service if you use over 30 labels per month.

[fieldsofview]

Spider-Man: Homesickness UPDATE

The following text is copied from my AO3

Hey, y'all. This is going to be a long and rambling life update for a moment. TLDR: The epilogue won't be posted until mid/late August, but it is coming. Keep reading if you're so interested in the *why*, otherwise, I'll see you then.

I know that, until now, I've been very consistent in keeping updates on time. And I know it's likely frustrating for you all to have to wait for the epilogue, and for that I apologize. It's coming, I promise. I just want to make sure I do it justice and do my best, and my life has not allowed for that right now. My personal life has been kind of a wreck these last few weeks. To start, I had a long stretch of time where I was covering extra shifts for my coworker who was in the hospital, which meant a lot of doubles (My usual 4PM-midnight followed by the midnight-8AM shift, with only a few hours after to go home and sleep before doing it all over again.) This is when I was drafting the previous chapter, and I did do my best to keep working on all of this but I was drastically limited in the time I had. During and following all of this, my cat, Aya, got very sick very fast. Within about 2 weeks, she went from being a perfectly healthy 5-year-old cat at her yearly physical exam, to having such extreme symptoms from a mystery illness that she was interned in a specialty Vet clinic's ICU for several days, needing a feeding tube, intravenous medication, and 24-hour care. Ultimately, despite the thousands of dollars I spent, four different veterinarians, and countless tests, no one could figure out what was wrong with her. She has since passed and her ashes should hopefully return to me within the week. Because of the timing of it all, just a few days later I left for a trip out of state to visit my elderly grandparents for their 85th birthday celebration with my extended family (There are nearly 40 of us) that I could not reschedule or miss, and I've been there for the last week. It's a 18-hour journey each way and I've spent most of the trip assisting my father with care of my younger brother or assisting my cousin with her three kids under 5. I've had no time for writing whatsoever. I've barely had time to breathe, let alone grieve the loss of my cat who I have had since she was a tiny kitten and who passed so suddenly and so violently that it has stuck with me in a way that previous pet deaths have never done. Her sister and her were so closely bonded and it's been heartbreaking to see her so confused as to why Aya has never come home. And now I've had to leave her with my roommates while I'm gone and she's been acting skittish and scared around them in a way she never has before. I only hope when I return in a few days she'll forgive me. I haven't started writing the epilogue yet. As many of you pointed out in the comments here and on my Tumblr (that I truly haven't had the capacity to respond to), the last chapter did not quite feel right or sit in the way you wanted. I stand by the events of the chapter, but because it was basically my rough draft with almost no editing, it's lacking the subtlety and nuance it deserves, and it's missing some details it should have had. I love this fic with all my heart and I want it to be a project I can finish and leave in a way that I am proud of. So, I will be spending the next few weeks taking the time I need for myself, and then I will be spending the time to make any edits to the entire story that I feel are necessary for it to be its best. Once that's done, I'll publish the epilogue. A version that is final and that I can be proud of, whether or not anyone else likes it. Because I know the last chapter was not my best work, it's been hard to sit with those comments and accept them, despite knowing the circumstances surrounding them. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this project, and thank you for your patience as I make sure this is the best it can be. My hope is that I can post the epilogue in about one month, as I approach the year mark from when I first started drafting this fic, but I will take it day by day to ensure it's the best it will be. I will delete this "chapter" once the epilogue is posted. 

[scarlettriot]

As some of you may already know, Ame, also known as @weebaboobs in our lovely little writing community, could use some help from us…

Her adorable pup, Peach, had to be rushed to the emergency room last night. Poor babe was swollen with hives. We’re happy to report Peach is starting to feel better, Ame was able to bring her home this evening. Unfortunately, though, Ame now has a pretty large vet bill to handle 🫣

Tay, @silverhairsimp, and I wanted to try and do something to help with the financial situation and so, we came up with an Emergency Writing Event!

((Because both Tay and I run 18+ blogs, you MUST be 18 or older to partake in this event AND have your age visible on your blog))

In exchange for donations, we are going to be offering 2 different writing rewards! They are as follows:

• $3 Characters Match Ups • $6 A Date with Your Fav

We want to make these pieces as personal as possible. To do that, if you decide to donate, feel free to give us as many details about yourself that you're comfortable sharing. Unlike regular Y/N or Reader fics like we're all used to, we really want you to feel like these write-ups are specifically for you!

Details about the specific tiers are below the cut.

To donate, please click the link HERE. This will take you to my (Scarlett’s) Ko-Fi account at Ame’s request where we will be collecting the donations for her and Peach. Pics above are of the sweet girl. Middle pic was during the hives 😭

• $3 Characters Match Up: With your 3-dollar donation, we will match you up with a character we think you’d be perfect with and give you a brief explanation of why.

Once your donation is complete, please send Tay or me an Ask or a PM with your Ko-Fi username so we can confirm the donation.

Once your donation is complete, please send Tay or me an Ask or a PM with your Ko-Fi username so we can confirm the donation.

Once confirmed, please let us know what pronouns you use, your likes and dislikes, and your basic personality traits.

Pics are allowed but not required, we will not share them anywhere. If you'd like to send a photo, please do so to Tay or me directly via ask or PM. Again, these will be kept to ourselves and will be deleted once your match-up is completed.

Make sure to include if you’d like to be paired with a male or female or if you have no preference.

We will be pulling matches from JJK, MHA, HQ, and TR.

Upon request, we can select from one specific show or leave a show out entirely.

• $6 A Date with Your Fav: For a $6 donation we will write up a date for you and a character of your choice to go on! Write-ups will be between 300-600 words.

Once your donation is complete, please send Tay or me an Ask or a PM with your Ko-Fi username so we can confirm the donation.

Please also include whom you’d like to go on a date with, some activities you and your date enjoy, and if you two are already in an established relationship or if this is going to be the first date.

For this tier please choose characters from JJK, MHA, or HQ.

ADDITIONALLY

When you donate PLEASE include in the message box the words, "for Peach" as well as your Tumblr URL or an email where you'd like the write-up to go.

Unless an email is provided, write-ups will be posted to either my (Scarlett's) or Tay's (@silverhairsimp) pages with your URL so you will be notified when your post is up! If you do not give us an email or a URL we will not know who the post needs to be for.

If you have any questions, please contact Tay or me via asks or PMs BEFORE donating.

We are doing this FOR Peach and Ame. Ame has enough going on and we do not want to bother her with questions about this event.

Lastly, I thank you for reading this far. Even if you are unable to donate at this time, a simple reblog would go a very long way and I know that Peach and Ame will certainly appreciate it. Ame has created some truly fantastic pieces of fan fiction that I know a lot of us have enjoyed. While making these stories for us she also goes to school and works full time. We just would like to try and help her out because we know darn well she’d do it for us 💕

Have a wonderful day/night - Scar ❤️

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt

[black-mesa-slut-voice]

Domesticated headcrab adopts!

More info, rules + availability below the cut + okay to rb!

Hello! If you’re here, you’re most likely interested in owning a pet headcrab of your own! While you can always find a specific one of your liking, it’s always a good idea to turn to adoption to help out headcrabs in need (and your local artist)!

If you’re serious about adoption, I recommend you glance over Your Beginner’s Guide to Headcrab Domestication first!

So what is this, really?

If you’re really not sure how adopts work, it’s simple. I have little premade, pre-designed characters that you can purchase, and then they become your characters! You can then use them however you’d like; they’re now your OCs!

Obviously, I don’t own the rights to headcrabs in general- they still belong to Valve- but I sort of have the rights to my domesticated headcrab headcanons, so these specific designs will belong to you!

Okay, I’ll bite. What’re the deets?

Each character is $15 USD as a base! For that, you’ll get all rights to the design. You can rename, redesign, gift, or alter the characters to your liking after you buy them. I’ll give you the large, transparent image of your crab as well! They’re all yours!

For $25 USD, I’ll make a nice, fancy little ref sheet with at least a few cleaned, colored sketches to go along with it! Not only that, but any designs that you’ve bought from me are always 10% off if you ever commission me to draw them again!

Are there any rules?

Yep! Here’s the rules: - Prices are listed in USD! I use paypal, and paypal only for the most part. - First come, first serve, unfortunately. - You MUST pay before you receive any of the rights/images included! - Once purchased, you are free to tweak the design as you please! This includes the name and lore- they’re just fun little suggestions, laid out in the format of an adoption center. You don’t have to follow them at all! - Trades and resells are allowed as long as you sell it for as much as you bought it or less - Please credit me for the design if asked!

Alright! Give me the crabs!

“PRIMROSE” || SOLD Fawned ash standard Primrose is a spoiled little crab who was owned by a sweet little old lady who has since passed away. With nobody in her family wanting to take her, she's now looking for a new home. She's used to being dressed and wearing fang caps! She's a bit spoiled and picky with her food, so looking for someone who doesn't mind giving this little lady a lot of love and attention!

“MILLIE” || SOLD Grey capped Volkov Millie is a shy, albeit feisty Volkov who was rescued from a house that was hosting illegal fighting rings in their backyard. Her left talon and leftmost mandible were infected and had to be amputated, which causes her a bit of difficulty moving around- but she's still fit and spry! Looking for a home who doesn't mind a somewhat skittish crab, after everything she's gone through- who can help bring her out of her shell!

“MEATLOAF” || SOLD Chocolate ticked standard Meatloaf is a large, chunky crab with an interesting orange spotted tint coloration. They're a bit... food motivated, to say the least. A lot of care has to be put into watching them, as they're surprisingly smart when they put their mind into getting into things- and will eat anything they can fit into their mouth. Looking for someone with childproofed cabinets who wants a very friendly and intelligent crab!

“MILK” || SOLD Black and white Saddlehorn Milk is a standard Saddlehorn who was brought in because the former owner was unable to keep up with vet costs. Milk has a lot of internal problems, and had to undergo some intense treatment, and to be kept on a very specific diet. Looking for someone to help Milk maintain this diet and strict regimen and checkups until they feel better!

“CHOCOLATE CHIP” || SOLD Chocolate Siamese nubbed Chocolate Chip is a sneaky little crab, surprisingly small for their age. They were found wandering the streets, and it's presumed they got out of their previous home- which is most likely true, considering their track record of weaseling out of their enclosure! Looking for someone who doesn't mind a very intelligent, active crab, and has lots of time and attention to give!

“PEACHY” || SOLD Snowshoe flaxen standard Peachy came from a well-off home who once again bought a young, fancy breed- and ended up de-beaking him and then neglecting to give him proper attention and care. They were passed on to a few homes because of their rather shy behavior from lack of attention, and are looking to finally get a forever home with someone who wants to bring out the sweet, caring side we know is in this crab! He's de-beaked, with no apparent health concerns visible.

“SHOOMI” || SOLD Fawned flaxen pancake Shoomi is easily one of the most well behaved crabs in our care! They’re extremely docile and good with kids as well! They don’t mind being dressed up or having stickers and such, hence the googly eyes. They’re the only one who didn't particularly hate things being stickied to them. Perfect for a home with kids!

“STACY Q” ||  SOLD False poison Stacy Q is a false poison, who is superbly friendly, albeit... extremely lazy, and more than a little bit hefty. She's perfectly healthy, however! She came from a home that thought they would be 'cool' and 'scary', and was dissapointed when she just sat around all day. She would be a wonderful match for someone who doesn’t mind a somewhat sedentary crab who doesn’t need a lot of attention!

“GUMPY” || SOLD Olive marbled hunchback Gumpy is a hunchback with a bit of an attitude problem. He was part of a nice lineage, but he didn't get along with other headcrabs at all and was given up on. With a little bit of time he might warm up to people, but is probably best left without any other crabs or pets in the house.

“MISS SASHA” || ON HOLD Golden Bata Miss Sasha is a very old Bata, who was a winning showcrab in several runs- but as she got older her beautiful golden color began to fade, and so they took her out of competitions, and want to rehome her. She’s still very playful for her age, and loves to give and receive lots of attention. Good for someone who doesn't mind a sweet old crab who isn't very active anymore, but still has lots of love to give- and preferably can give lots of attention in return, as she gets sad when left alone.

“NGUNI“ || SOLD Fancy Saddlehorn Nguni is a very very unique Saddlehorn with a beautiful, very rare pattern- most likely a showbreed of some sort. However, she was found hit by a car, which mangled her right claw and left her with some scarring. Even more interestingly, despite her unique coloration, her previous owner can't be found, and isn't coming forward to any messaging. Enough time has passed that she's looking to be rehomed to someone who doesn't mind giving her her daily meds and making sure she doesn’t overexert her injured side!

“MAPLE” || SOLD Sorrel smoke pancake Maple is a feisty young crab, who was bought as a present for someone's child, since pancakes are known for their docility- only to find out that Maple was surprisingly aggressive for a pancake. They ended up having to rehome him, out of their children's newfound fear for headcrabs. Looking for someone who doesn't mind a bit of a feistyness in their crab and is willing to work with it to help curb their temper!

If you’re interested, DM me here on tumblr! If you’d like, you can ask for my discord and we can discuss details there as well.

[lucy-268]

Hey there! Are E&C ready for more questions? Here we go!

Notes: Answer the following with pictures (dialogue from your characters is optional!). Collages are highly encouraged if you want to answer a question with multiple pictures because tumblr mobile only allows 10 total pics (there are 10 questions). Otherwise, tumblr on a desktop lets you add multiple pictures!

Also, don’t worry about picking pictures of your face claim (if any) to answer these! Any picture of the outfit/place, no matter who is wearing it, makes absolute sense! Have fun!

For MC

Favorite picture of Ethan at your wedding?

Favorite picture on your honeymoon (of him or otherwise)?

Favorite outfit(s) on him?

What does your home look like?

Picture of your spouse's last purchase.

For Ethan

Favorite picture of your wife at your wedding?

Favorite picture on your honeymoon (of her or otherwise)?

Favorite outfit(s) on him/her?

Picture of a dream getaway or date you would surprise her with?

Last picture she sent you.

Charley would like to apologize to taking so long to answer the questions. She couldn’t get Ethan to cooperate. They still have another set outstanding. 

Bree: Thank you for indulging me once again. Here’s a question for both of you: What is your favorite picture of your spouse from your wedding? And the second question will be What’s your favorite picture from your honeymoon?

Charley: That’s easy! She pulls a framed collage off of the wall. As she is headed back to Bree, she turns around and grabs a second one.

Ethan: We have collections of our favorites from both of those events. It was Charley’s idea.

Charley: I love this picture of him. He needed to step away for a minute, and I went to find him.

Ethan: I knew she would follow after me. I didn’t need a moment alone; I wanted a moment with her.

He leaned forward and pointed to the picture of her in her wedding dress. She looks so happy here. He turns to smile at Charley. The first time I actually saw her in her dress, she looked nervous. I think she was worried I wasn’t going to be waiting at the end of the aisle to get married.

Charley: I knew you would be there. I tripped in the hallway and didn’t want to fall in front of all of our guests. I was totally relaxed once I got to you.

Charley pointed to the second framed set of photos. I hadn’t been to San Francisco for a long time. We talked about Europe, but decided to take a longer vacation there in a few years. This one of Ethan was taken when we stopped on the coast at one of the vista points.

Bree: Ethan, I’m surprised you wanted such a personal one of Charley hanging here in your living room.

Ethan: When I told her it was my favorite, I didn’t know she was going to put it on the wall for all to see. She looked so pensive, I had to ask her if she had any regrets marrying me.

Charley: I didn’t.

Bree: Realizing she’s could be losing the lovebirds as they stare at each other, clears her throat. I can come back.

Charley: No! Please, continue.

Bree: What are your favorite outfits on each other?

Charley: Can I say nothing?

Bree: Sure!

Ethan: No!

Charley: Well, he could have easily been a model. He looks equally at home in sweatpants or a suit. She scrolls through her phone and shows Bree four pictures.

Ethan: And my wife looks just a good in anything. I love it when she gets dressed up when we head to the opera or when she goes out shopping with her friends.

Charley: Looking at the photos he’s showing Bree. She points to one that looks like it was taking outside. Where did you get that? I don’t know that I’ve seen it.

Ethan: My dad sent me that. When you went to Providence to visit him and helped him the day Jenner had to go to the vet. He took it at the dog park.

Bree: Ethan, next question. Picture of a dream getaway or date you would surprise her with?

Ethan: She’s always wanted to visit England and Scotland. She likes old things, castles, Stonehenge. So, we will be going there.

Charley: I like old things so much I married you.

Bree: Laughs. Charley, what does your dream home look like?

Charley: We’re planning on buying a house. We’ve looked and nothing felt right for us, so we are having one built. We’ve been arguing-

Ethan: -discussing-

Charley: all right, ‘discussing’, how to furnish it. I like comfort, he likes sleek uncomfortable furniture. So, after much discussion, we agreed that he could design the kitchen, but I get input on colors once he decides, and I could control the bedroom. We’ve also decided on our dining room. We’ve agreed that we will compromise on the living room. So I can’t show pictures of that. We’re still ‘discussing.’

Bree: Charley, what was Ethan’s last purchase?

Charley: This.

Bree. Nice.

Charley: It is. Comfortable, too.

Bree: Ethan, last picture she sent you?

Ethan: Scrolling through his phone, he goes to hand it to Bree and pulls it back. Here, these two. When she went to my dad’s to take Jenner to the vet, they stopped at the pet store and there was an adoption event. She texted these pictures and asked if Jenner and the cats needed siblings. They don’t.

Bree: Oh, they’re adorable!

Ethan: Those are all of your questions for us, Bree?

Bree: Yes, those-

Charley: No, she emailed some previously. We may as well answer those now. We can take a break for a while if you wanted to fix coffee.

Ethan: Sighs in defeat. I’ll go do that.

Charley: Watching as he gets into the kitchen, she picks up her phone. This is the last picture I sent him.

[captainjimothycarter]

Red Alert

Thanks to @youneedsomeprompts for this prompt! Color Symbols: Angst: Red: Danger On a side note, Tumblr PLEASE stop ruining my formatting from google docs to tumblr.

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Sam and Natasha both make a suggestion for Steve to talk to a new therapist that might be more on his level of understanding his situation.

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LINK

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 There was a prickle in the back of his head that he couldn’t quite shake. An itch that he couldn’t quite scratch. Nothing he did would stop it, even for a second. It practically lived in the back of his head, active every second of the day. It didn’t care if he was on a mission, running drills, helping citizens, out with friends, or trying to relax at home.

   Steve Rogers always felt like he was on guard. That there was constant danger around him. That he couldn’t quite relax fully. That prickle in the back of his head never allowed him to relax either. At the slightest noise, rather it was the ice settling in the freezer, a cough down the hall, or an odd-sounding car passing by his apartment, Steve felt like he had to investigate the noise. He had to check it out and make sure the ice wasn’t a bug listening in on him or the cough wasn’t an intruder trying to attack him.

 It interrupted him at all hours of the day, never allowing him to truly sleep. He slept, a few handfuls of hours here and there when his body allowed it. When he was truly exhausted, when the serum was on its last legs and scraping the bottom of the barrel, Steve found he would pass out for hours. Days even, if he was exhausted enough.

 He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a true, peaceful night's sleep. Actually, he could. He’d just rather      not    remember it and feel the hallow guilt and pain erupt in his chest. He’d rather focus on the here and now because that’s all he’s had left.

 It’s Sam who approaches him about it when Steve shows up after a group therapy session to join him for lunch. He looks exhausted, he knows he does. There are bags under his eyes, he’s pale, and his focus is waning. He has to force himself to listen to what Sam is talking about, watching his mouth move and taking in the words without truly listening.

 “Steve!”

   Steve jumps as fingers snap in his face, blinking. “I-I was...I was listening.”

 “Uh-huh.” There’s no frustration or anger on Sam’s face, just concern as he settles back against the metal seat. He watches a few people walk by, fingers drumming on the table. “You haven’t been sleeping again, have you? Feelin’ on edge?”

 Steve shrugged, which was his way of saying yes without truly saying it. It was hard to ask for help, but he didn’t need help. He just needed to rest.

 “Figures. You’ve been watching that office window for the past ten minutes.”

 “I...wasn’t,” Steve tried to weakly defend, but it fell on deaf ears. “I was just… There was a blinking light up there. Thought it was…” He shrugged, letting the sentence hang off.

 “Morse code or something? I get it. You’re stuck in danger mode. You’re on edge. You’re strugglin’ with so much, Steve. It’s      okay.”  

 There was no arguing with him, he was right and Sam knew he was right too. Steve just couldn’t think of anything to counter it, to help his friend not worry so much about him. “No, you’re right. I just...I can’t sleep. I can’t relax. I find myself waiting for the danger, constantly on edge. Nat says I had a panic attack the other night when Bruce accidentally flashed a light in my eyes. I don’t remember it.”

 “I can’t imagine what it’s like being you, Steve. You got this...superhuman abilities. Your strength is one thing, but your senses? They’re so advanced and even for back then, all the new sounds and smells and sight. But compared to today where it’s all flashy and you didn’t grow up with it. It’s overwhelming. You’re overwhelmed, you’re…” He paused and looked up at his friend, trying to find the right words before settling on being blunt. “You have PTSD, Steve. We’ve talked about this, remember? Can’t keep workin’ yourself stupor. You deserve a break.”

 PTSD - yeah, Steve knew all about it. Once Sam had told him it, in the kindest manner possible, Steve looked up everything he could. Everything matched - the symptoms, the exhaustion. How he was constantly on edge. He’d talked to a few people about it, even a therapist that Pepper had recommended but how could he get to someone’s level who wasn’t him?

 Who didn’t understand him? Someone who had lived through one of the worst wars in history, who’d lived and lost hundreds of people he considered friends, crashed a plane into the ocean, and woke up in a new century? He’d lost everything. His sense of a home, his friends, his family.

 Nothing could compare to that. No one could get on his level to understand beyond the war. Yet his understanding of war differed from others and while they’d matched on a level about it, it wasn’t      fully.    It wasn’t to a full degree that Steve could latch onto.

 “You know,” Sam was saying, drawing Steve out of his thoughts. “There’s someone in Shield that Nat was talking about that might be able to help you. You might want to ask her about it.”

 “Sam, no offense, but I’m not sure there are many who can help a hundred and one-year-old soldier from World War Two.” Sam rolled his eyes at him and Steve shrugged again. “I just need a break. I need to try to relax. Get out of my head. Get this stupid prickling to stop.”

 He’d scratched the back of his neck raw a few times because of it, just to have it heal over an hour later.

 “The options are there, man, alright? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Just...just call if you need anything, alright? You gonna be good?”

 There was the concern, the near pity in Sam’s expression as he got up to leave, coat was thrown over his arm. Steve squeezed his hand and forced himself to nod. “Yeah, man, I’ll be fine. Go back to work.”

 Three missions later, two training accidents resulting in him breaking a finger, three sleepless days, and five skipped meals later, Steve found himself staring at an office door with the placard reading      Dr. P. Carter.  

 She came highly recommended by Natasha who refused to say more on the matter of who this P. Carter was. He’d tried to google this Peggy but got nowhere with results beyond obituaries.

 This was ridiculous. There was no way she could help him. Or anyone could. He’d just needed to go, making take that horse tranquilizer Tony was teasing about and go to bed.

 The second he went to turn away, the door opened. Steve almost kept walking until he heard her clear her throat.

 “I was wondering if you were going to come in, Mr. Rogers. If that’s...okay I call you Rogers?”

 The accent is what caught his attention. Enough to make him curious to turn around. Peggy Carter was...gorgeous. Sharp high cheekbones, honey-coated eyes behind black-rimmed glasses, brunette curls running down her shoulders. She looked amazing in her jeans and a white t-shirt - the last thing he expected a therapist to wear.

 “You knew I was out there?” he mumbled.

 That was a stupid question, of course, she did. She possibly had cameras and it’s not like he was a quiet person in this big body. Sometimes he felt so huge in this body, wishing he’d been smaller. Just without the ailments.

 “I heard some muttering and you were my only appointment today. I figured it was you.” She replied gently enough, leaving him a little more curious about her. She didn’t treat him like others had like he was a sleeping bear about to be poked.

 Something about her      eyes    told him she understood him. Or he was imagining it so much because he was desperate to have someone who could understand.

  He had to give his friends credit. They tried. They fully tried to help and he was grateful but if something didn’t work out for him, Steve almost instantly lost hope.

 It was always Cap or Captain. Rarely was he called Steve outside of his friends. Everyone saw him as this guy on the mantle and not himself. Not Steve Rogers, a man who's hurting and doing his best to pack it all in for another day.

 “Didn’t realize I muttered. I…” He swallowed, tongue darting out as he looked her up and down. She was a few inches shorter than him and posed herself in a manner that was inviting. She wasn’t dangerous, but she could be, he figures. “How do you know Natasha? She...recommended you.”

 “Natalia? Oh, she’s a personal friend of mine. We’ve worked on a few cases together.” Peggy’s hand held out to him, an invitation. “I’m Margaret, by the way. But my friends call me Peggy. Would you like to sit down? You look like you’re about to fall over.”

 He could run, he could bolt out to his bike and run for the hills, but he didn’t want to. Strange enough Steve found himself taking Peggy’s hand and giving her a firm shake, just as she did him. “My friends call me Steve.”

 “Well, Steve, it's a pleasure to meet you. Let’s get you to sit down at the very least. We don’t even have to talk. I just don’t want you riding that death trap like this.”

 Steve snorted as he followed her and eased into a comfortable couch in her office. “It’s not a death trap. It’s my pride.”

 “Oh, I can certainly see that. Personal custom work to resemble a bike you must’ve used before? Very rarely do you see that, but it’s still a death trap. Excuse me for liking the cushion of walls when I’m speeding down the highway.”

 Peggy’s red lips twitched into a smile at his snorting laugh, handing over an unsealed bottle of water. Steve took it without question, taking a few sips.

 “No wonder you like Natasha...she says the same despite loving a bike herself.” Steve sighed as he took a few sips, grateful to have something to do with his hands. “Look, Miss Carter...I’m unsure of what Natasha told you or what you want to do with these sessions but they never...end well for me. Sure, the other people are great, but they don’t      understand.    ”

 “Excuse me for interrupting, Steven, but you do make a great point. They don’t understand because they’re not on your level. Your closest group of friends outside of those you serve with are the vets down at the center, right? Men you served with but perhaps were not close to?”

 At Steve’s nod, Peggy smiled. “I’ve been there - I mean I see you there. I…”

 She looked almost frustrated, eyes darting to the window and closed-door before pulling out an old file from her drawer. It was stained with coffee and yellow with age, a familiar symbol stamped on top.      SSR.  

 Steve’s heart leaped to his throat as he looked down at it, but didn’t dare touch it when she held it out to him. “What is...this?”

 “I figured to get you to trust me, we need to be on the same level, correct? I need to be open and honest and while I haven’t lied yet, Natasha and I haven’t been fully honest.” She sighed when he didn’t take the file and opened it up, handing him a page stamped with a date, shortly before he joined the military.

 “I don’t understand,” he mumbled, looking over the information. “You were an SSR Agent, but... you’re…” He waved his hand over her. “You have to be ninety-eight!”

 “Excuse me, ninety-seven, thank you,” Peggy snorted. “Didn’t your mother teach you not to comment on a woman’s age?” Oh, she shouldn’t find that blush attractive, but she did.

 “But to answer your question, Steve, yes, I am...old. I was an SSR Agent. You see, shortly before you joined Project Rebirth, I was the prime candidate. After rescuing Doctor Erskine from Schmidt’s clutches, I received the serum in private. Colonel Phillips, Erskine, and Howard Stark, and I all agreed this shouldn’t be public because we were unaware of the consequences, and well - you know how they saw women in those days.

 The serum, we thought, did nothing. I was shipped off to war shortly after, so we had never met. It seems fate kept it that way, even as I joined Phillips and helped the 107th. I’ve met other Howling Commandos - Dugan, Jones, even Barnes. Yet, somehow never you.

 Still, the serum, before I ramble off. We thought it did nothing until after the war. I wasn’t aging. I could...heal faster than normal, but it wasn’t to your level. I had been shot with one of Schmidt’s weapons, it should’ve vaporized me on the spot, but instead, it activated the serum.

 Then...then you died. Or so we thought. Howard used me as a near experiment to see if you could survive and I agreed because you deserved to be found, dead or alive. You deserved some sort of burial at the very least, but we...as you can tell, it went nowhere.

 So time went on, we went on to form Shield. I left shortly before you were found - as fate would have it seem so we did not meet. I left because...I wanted to do things outside of Shield. I wanted to help people. Of course, if they need me, they call me, but I would rather not play Director at this moment. I enjoy doing my own things - I rather ask for forgiveness than permission. When the Battle of New York happened, I was out of town. Once again, fate decided we shouldn’t meet. When Natasha found me, she wanted to introduce us right away. She thought...I could be of assistance. I could be friends with you but I didn’t want this forced. I wanted to meet you, Steve but I wasn’t sure      how    without fate deciding we aren’t worth it.”

 Steve sat there, stunned, pillow in hand. He found himself kneading it, staring down at the files. Every single thing matched up with what she said. The serum, a more watered-down version. Going to war. He could remember Dugan pouting because some lass named Carter ‘stole’ his whiskey - aka won it in a bet. He could remember Barnes insisting he meets this Carter. He could remember a red dress in a bar, a kiss of fire whiskey on his lips. Her soft body…

 “We had sex,” Steve spat out, blinking down at the paper. He heard choking and his head snapped up, watching Peggy cough into her arm.

 “Excuse me? I think I’d remember if we had sex, Rogers!” Peggy half-shouted, her face turning a shade of red.

 “Apparently not. It-it was...it was before I died. The only time I’d truly slept in years. The night before I died. We met at the bar, but both of us were so tipsy. I’d have...something Howard invented that...that got me feeling a bit tipsy. We shouldn’t have done it, I should’ve said no but your kisses were so addicting. It’s not that I didn’t want you. I just...didn’t want you under the influence of alcohol for us both. I wanted to remember it clearly.”

   Peggy stared down at the cold coffee, red nails drumming on the table in thought. “I remember now. It was your first time. You were so...so awkward. In the most charming manner. I had to teach you everything, including how to undress me. It was...It was charming, Steve. One of the best nights I’ve ever had. If I had known it was you…”

 She gave a weak laugh and shook her head. “You were so loving and careful, especially for your size. I wanted to protect you, strangely enough.”

 Steve found himself standing, the papers falling to the floor. He found himself standing in front of her, mind racing. She understood him on a level he’d thought he’d never find. They were the same, they had the same serum. They’d lost and loved. They just weren’t destined to meet until now.

 “I know this is supposed to be a therapy session,” he mumbled, still standing awkwardly in front of her. “But can we drop that and...and just go talk? Outside of here?”

 “Because you want to nail me on my desk?” Peggy teased, making Steve’s cheeks heat up. That wasn’t a no. She stood and held his hand, being gentle with her touch. “Of course, darling. I think we have lots to catch up on. I’m glad for once fate has decided we deserve to meet and it wasn’t with one of us dying on the battlefield.”

[laine-o]

Title: Found

Writer: @kairi-chan, Artist: me, laine-o :)

Rating: G

Genre: Family

Summary: fluff, Sarada finds a cat on the side of the road and Sasuke can not say no to his cute little peanut.

Artist’s note: This is a collab between me and the wonderfully talented @kairi-chan for SasuSakuSara Weekend 2020 Day 1: Early Years/Slice of Life. I hope you all enjoy and give the author’s works a read as well which can be found on her Tumblr and she is iBloo on ffnet and ao3! :) (Thank you so much for the writing this short fic/drabble for this collaboration Kairi!!!)

——————————————————————————

The late afternoon breeze blew gently, ruffling the leaves on the trees and pushing the clouds across the sky lazily. Azure skies were slowly dimming, welcoming the pink and orange to come.

“Papa…” The toddler’s steps faltered.

He looked down at his daughter. “Hn?”

“Look…there’s a kitty.” Her small hand closed around his finger a little tighter and she stopped in her tracks. Her dark eyes were wide, chubby cheeks rosy.

Sasuke turned back and saw a black kitten by the side of the road, meowing. His daughter turned to look at him. “Can I touch it?”

How could he say no when she was looking at him that way?

“I promise. I’ll just pat it.”

“Okay.” Sasuke still held on to her hand, walking over to the side of the road and approaching the kitten. It shrank back for a moment but continued to meow at them.

Sarada let go of his hand and crouched down slowly, looking at the kitten.

The meowing settled a bit, and the little girl extended her hand towards the kitten. The meowing ceased just as her hand touched its little head. Instead, the kitty started purring, rubbing its head on Sarada’s hand.

“Ooh…” Her eyes widened further, cheeks flushing darker. She turned her gaze over to Sasuke. “Papa…”

She didn’t even need to continue talking for him to know what she would ask of him. Sasuke swallowed. The cat looked abandoned, with no collar around its neck. Certainly young enough to have survived on its own, but too young to be sure to make it by itself for long. He contemplated how his wife might react bringing a stray home… it certainly wouldn’t be the first. The responsibility of caring for it also crossed his mind.

He had made his decision.

“Sarada,” Sasuke started gently.

Tears were already filling her yes. “P—Please!” She begged, already knowing her father would turn down her request. “I will take—take care of it!” Sarada quickly picked up the kitty in her arms, the poor animal looked surprised but didn’t struggle in her hold. Her lower lip trembled, tears flowing freely as she continued to beg her father to keep it.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Sasuke could never say no to his cute little peanut.

.

.

.

“We’re home.” Sasuke had barely finished speaking as his daughter kicked off her shoes and hurried into their home. Her little footsteps echoed along the halls, and his wife’s voice soon carried over.

“Welcome home—”

“—Mama, look!” Sarada held the kitten up in her arms, a wide smile on her face. She got up on her tiptoes and raised the kitten higher for her mother to get a better look. “Look, look! Isn’t she so cute?” She beamed. “She was so scared and all alone but I saved her!”

Sakura blinked for a moment before putting on a wide smile on her face and stroked her daughter’s hair. “How brave of you, Darling.”

Sarada’s cheeks flushed, responding to her mother’s praise. “I’m going to take good care of you,” she announced to the kitten in her arms and proceeded to walk into the living room, still talking to the cat.

Sasuke walked up to his wife and stood next to her, studying her features. Emerald eyes turned to him, a little crease in her brow.

“Sasuke-kun…” Her voice was soft, hesitant.

“She said she would take care of it,” he replied.

Sakura sighed. “You mean you will.”

He smirked. “Maybe. But this could be a good learning experience for Sarada. It would teach her to be responsible.”

She hummed and peeked at her daughter.

Sarada was now sitting on the floor, dangling a bunch of keys over the kitten’s head, giggling at how it tried to take the key with its paw.

A soft smile slowly bloomed on Sakura’s face. “I guess it’s okay for us to have a pet.” Turning to her husband, her soft smile turned into a teasing grin. “You’ve been wanting one too, right?”

It was barely visible, but he was sure his wife noticed the small pout on his lips. “Hn.”

Sakura giggled and gently tapped his cheek. “You go on and join her. Dinner is almost ready. I’ll be out with a bowl of milk for the cat in a while.”

He nodded and walked over to the living room. Sasuke sat on the rug next to Sarada, who was dragging the keys around, squealing in delight as the kitten chased and pounced on the keys. His daughter started running around the room jingling the keys in her hand as the cat followed her. Her joyful squeals filled the house. Sasuke’s lips quirked upward, a gentle warmth blooming in his chest.

Sakura walked out of the kitchen, bringing a bowl of milk. Seeing her, Sasuke stood and watched Sarada drop the keys on the floor. The cat pounced on them, and Sarada wasted no time capturing the cat in her arms. The cat meowed loudly but did not fuss. Sasuke carried Sarada, the little girl beaming at her father. She was having so much fun, and he was glad.

“Sarada, I think your kitty wants a drink.” Sakura smiled, holding out the bowl.

Sarada held onto her cat and slowly extended her arms towards her mama. Sasuke stepped closer to allow the cat to drink the milk.

His daughter settled down, a calm and satisfied smile on her face as she watched the cat drink. Sasuke and Sakura exchanged a look before turning their attention back to their daughter.

The next few hours were not easy for the young couple. Sarada was usually a well-behaved child, never fussing too much when it was time for bed. But in the presence of a new family member, which she had named Neko-chan, Sarada refused to admit she was tired. Sakura had successfully given her a bath, dressed her, and made her brush her teeth, but when it came to bedtime, she refused to stay in bed.

“Mama!” She cried, the covers falling around her tiny waist as she sat up. “Neko-chan might be cold!. Can’t she sleep here with me?”

Sasuke stood by the doorframe, watching his wife soothe their daughter. She was stroking her dark hair, keeping her voice soft as she explained that her precious kitty was fine and already sleeping in the living room. The toddler cried, giving reasons to her mother as to why Neko-chan should be sleeping in her room.

“Mama, Neko-chan wants to sleep here!”

“Sweetie, she is already sleeping in the living room, Sakura reassured, again.

Sarada pouted and tried to look past Sakura, towards the door. "But, if she wakes up, she’ll be scared! I think so!” The toddler argued, pretty upset with the idea that the kitten was not going to stay with her overnight.

Sakura kept her voice kind, and after a few minutes, she managed to successfully convince Sarada to lie back down and close her eyes.

He walked over to the living room, leaving his girls to settle down without his distracting presence. Sasuke moved around, cleaning up the mess from Sarada’s playtime and picked up a book. He had only read a few sentences before his wife joined him, looking tired but relieved that Sarada finally went to sleep.

“She’s knocked out, though I really didn’t want to leave her,” Sakura said. “She really wanted Neko-chan to sleep in her room.”

Sasuke’s gaze drifted to the cat sleeping in the corner, curled up in the blanket that he had placed inside a box for it. “She’s already asleep, and so is Sarada. Maybe tomorrow, after we bring the cat to the vet.”

His wife nodded and agreed to meet them at the vet, after her shift. Sakura left for the bathroom, leaving Sasuke to relax with his books.

After reading a few chapters, he heard Sakura move to their bedroom, and Sasuke put his book away. He noticed the cat stretch and then jump out of the box, quietly walking down the hall and pause at the crack of Sarada’s bedroom door. His brow quirked, and he followed the cat. When he peeked into the room, he saw the cat meow quietly at Sarada but she did not even stir.

Sasuke contemplated taking the cat away, in fear of Sarada waking. But when the cat jumped up to the foot of the bed and circled around a few times before settling down to sleep, he changed his mind. He leaned on the door frame, a soft smile on his face as he watched them sleep together.

“There you are.” Sakura came from behind and kissed his shoulder. “Did Sarada wake up?”

“No.” Sasuke turned and walked with his wife to their bedroom. “She’s asleep, and we should be too.”

Sakura agreed and got into bed, wrapping her arms around him. Sasuke had some thoughts swimming around his mind before he finally fell asleep, but being with his family, and his wife had him thinking of how nice it was to be found and belong.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 13: SNAFU

Characters: Captain Syverson, various original minor/supporting characters.

Summary: Sy has some time to think about his past, present, and future while roughing it in the Virginia wilderness which leads him to a revelation about what he really wants…but is it too late?

Need to start from the beginning? Miss an update because Tumblr? Click me!

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings:  Mild language, mature themes, military and weapon terminology, discussion, and use. (For those who don’t know, SNAFU is a term coined in the military. It’s an acronym for “Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.” And since this is from Sy’s perspective, I thought a military term, as opposed to a therapy term would be appropriate.)

Author’s Note: Despite this being the longest chapter, clocking in at almost 5k, it was one of the easiest to write, and came the quickest. I love writing from Sy’s perspective, and the pure love he has for Shane. I’m hoping to be able to write a bit more of his POV before the story is complete. We’ll see. I apologize if it seems like one long rant about Sy’s feelings…I guess that’s what it is, with various activities peppered in. He can be a sensitive guy, and I wanted to show that. 

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy was no whimp. That much was certain. Missouri winters had toughened him up more than most men in his battalion and most of the participants in the training he was currently undertaking.

But it was more than that. Sy was uniquely prepared for the elements. He remembered a particularly harsh December night during Christmas break, before he joined the service when he was home alone and had to let the dog out. Fool that he was, he wore no shoes. Greater fool, he'd allowed the door to the back yard to close…and unfortunately, it had a tendency to lock. Which it did. He tried fruitlessly for a while to break back in, but being without a cell phone, he knew he'd have to walk a good distance for help with the lock.

He slipped out the gate and started up to the road, to follow it  to his grandparents a few miles away. The county road wasn't the best kind for walking, particularly barefoot in the late fall, but his feet were soon too numb to feel the gravel and whatever else was lacerating the soles of his feet. After about an hour, he made it there, shivering, knocking frantically and waking his frail old grandparents up to rescue him from his own negligence. He'd regret that until the day he died. Not that they were angry about it. They shrugged it off. His grandma cleaned the blood and dirt from his feet and bandaged the shallowed abrasions. They didn't look too bad, considering the area they lived in and the trash that could have been waiting to carve him up. Then she set about cleaning up Sy's messy footprints from her normally immaculate floor. Grandpa looked all over for their spare keys to Sy's and his mom's house, and finally found them. He lent him a pair of shoes, drove him back home, and let him in the house. After that, Sy found himself eager to spend time outdoors during colder weather. As if determined to build up a tolerance to it in case he ever found himself in such a situation again.

Now, despite the time of year being only late August, it was unseasonably cool, especially at night, as if Christmas was right around the corner, and Sy was wishing more and more that he had someone to cuddle with during the nights he'd be doing cross country training here at the beautiful Shenandoah National Park. He had packed only the essentials for the expedition, a mess kit, bed roll, canteen, modest rations, first aid supplies, et cetera, plus a rope and a tarp for building a shelter. On his person, he had a compass, a topographical map of the park with checkpoints indicated, waterproof, strike-anywhere matches, a hunting knife, a tactical knife, an M17 pistol, and three .9mm clips. He was also given a flare gun to use in case he got stuck for any reason and needed extraction.

On his first night in the wilderness, he'd taken a lot of time falling asleep. Thinking.

He thought about his last week at home. He wondered how Mr. and Mrs. Stevens were doing with Aika. Shane had offered to watch her, and he considered it. He had appreciated her eagerness to help after her…less than enthusiastic response to hearing about this trip. But he decided since Aika had a close relationship already with Fred and Caroline, and she was still getting to know Shane, they'd better be the ones to take her. She understood, and had offered the second reason that since she worked so much, she wouldn't be able to give her the kind of attention she was used to. That had made a lot of sense. He felt like kind of a bad dog parent for not thinking of it, himself.

He thought about the week he'd been here already at the compound. His first day filling out paperwork, he was asked for an emergency contact. He was used to putting his mom…but she wasn't in the best of health, herself. He had nobody. Nobody but Shane. He put her down, instead of his mom. He thought about the seminars on company approved methods of subduing and detaining targets and combatants. He should have taught Shane some self-defense moves before he left. She could handle herself, and she'd proven so, but still. A refresher, or an advancement on one's skills was always a good idea. But he was sure she'd be fine. He thought about her the most in the torturous policy and procedure lecture. What he wouldn't'a given to have her here with him. She would have made everything fun. And she would have been a way better study partner than Keith. Keith, a Navy vet from Little Rock was a good guy…he just…didn't get Sy's jokes. He was a very literal kind of thinker, and it took extra effort for Sy to communicate with folks like that.

Shane, though…he and Shane wouldn't have gotten too much done, study-wise. They would have been…distracted.

As he hiked along the trails to his first checkpoint, he breathed in the clean, crisp air and stopped at the odd overlook here and there. The park was nestled on the outer edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and they were too gorgeous not to appreciate while he was here. He found himself…uniquely emotional. He didn't feel lonely often, but since he'd met Shane, he'd hardly gone two days without seeing her, even if it was for just an hour. She'd love all of this. She'd probably want a tent, and coffee in the mornings, so they wouldn't be able to travel quite as light, but they'd make it work. Maybe one day they'd take a trip like this. Just for fun. No checkpoints. No deadlines. No semi-automatic weapons…well, honestly, he'd probably still bring a gun, anyway. You never did know about people these days, he thought. Of course, that's probably what people think of me carrying a pistol, he also thought…anyway, he was almost to the checkpoint.

Said checkpoint was a big tent, like the ones they sold fireworks out of leading up to Fourth of July. Inside there was a single lane shooting range set up down one half of the tent. On the other half, there were stations set up with dismantled weapons that you had to assemble in a certain amount of time. Someone had beaten him to the range, so he started with the guns. No problems whatsoever. He was familiar more or less with all of the models, or some version of them. When the previous participant, a small blonde woman, had finished on the range, Sy stepped up to the counter.

The attendant reset the target for Sy so he could do a close range shot, then again for mid and long range ones. He shot well, although he still wasn't used to the lighter weight of the SIG Sauer M17s the armed forces switched to back in 2017. They'd offered him an M18 at the compound, but he favored the heaver pistol, instead. Maybe the M18 was more packable, but Sy just didn't feel right firing a weapon that felt like a feather in his hand. If it was up to him, he'd take a Colt Python .357 Magnum Revolver. That, however, was more than just a question of how the firearm felt in his hand. Being out in the wilderness like this made him think back to how it must have been before these lands became civilized and gentrified. Back to the days of the cowboy, Wyatt Earp and the OK Corral. Back when it was just the wild and free land he could pretend it was now. He thanked the attendant, who was writing his name on his targets to take back to the compound along with his graded weapon assembly timesheets, and then was back on his way.

There was an eerie beauty about this unsullied land, he thought, as the dusk fell the second night of the excursion and he began setting up his camp about halfway between the first and second checkpoints, by his estimation. With his fire built and his shelter up, Sy took out some of his rations, cured meat, hard cheese, and some walnuts, and had a light supper before cleaning his gun and turning in while the ground still held some heat from the waning sun, wishing again as the cold set in that his woman was there to warm him.

His sleep was fitful. And he awoke before dawn, from dreams he couldn't remember but which still left him feeling empty. They must have been about her. He was starting to feel regret. The last time he'd seen Shane, he'd said some things that he meant to be selfless. But he didn't mean them. He meant the parts about loving her, of course. But the last thing he wanted was to come home and find her moved on with someone else. He couldn't stand to think about it. As he walked into the next checkpoint area, the range was already set up for close range firing. He riddled the target with .9mm holes and could barely wait until the attendant got the fresh sheet set to mid range before he began firing.

"How about you let me fully clear the lane before you start on the long range target, okay, Syverson?"

"Sorry, man. I'm a little…on edge today. Won't happen again."

The short, sandy-haired buck trotted out to replace the riddled sheet with one more for the long range leg, pulled it down and lacked it in to long range position, then hoofed it back up to safety, sensing the captain's impatience. Sy shot cleanly, but with cold anger, as if the silhouette on the page out there was trying to take Shane away from him. He put two square in the chest, and two in the head without hesitating.

"Man, I've never seen a long range shoot like that! What's the deal, you pissed at an ex, or something?" Sy checked the man's lapel for a name tag.

"Not exactly, Mister…Daniels."

"Call me Jack." they shook hands, and Sy chuckled, questioning.

"I'm Sy. You're name is Jack…Daniels?"

"Yes sir. No relation to the Lynchburg Daniels, unfortunately. Momma wanted to name me after her granddad, and my old man, well, he had no problem with it given his affinity for the spirit."

"A wise man, your dad. Some of my best nights have included Tennessee Number 7." He didn't elaborate, but he was getting very specific flashbacks of drinking games in his kitchen with Shane. And he was gonna have to shake it off before the weapons assembly drill, or else he'd end up putting together an assault rifle backward.

He made it through without any trouble, thank the good Lord. But that didn't mean that his mind wasn't still reeling. He was thinking of Shane and the possibility that she was being courted by Chris Evans look-alikes and young Harrison Ford doppelgangers, and it was making him furious. He was pretty sure that she was about as interested in taking a break as he was, but he couldn't help himself from making the offer under the circumstances. He kicked himself as he made his camp for the evening, not very far away from the third checkpoint, but too far away to get there by dusk when the daily deadline was. He was a shoe in to get there first in the morning, though, if he was reading his map correctly, and he was damn good at maps, if he did say so, himself. And who would bitch at him for bragging out here, anyway. The odd cricket or squirrel? He didn't think so.

It was colder tonight, and he was thankful that he thought to boil some water for his canteen and put it at his feet. He curled his surly, burly body up under the layers of blanket and thermal sheeting. He was almost warm enough…but he still needed something.

His sleep was plagued by strange dreams that he unfortunately remembered tonight. The scene began with Shane in a bright pink dress and matching gloves, dripping with diamonds, like Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She looked so glamourous and beautiful, but she was getting passed from man to man to the tune of Madonna's Material Girl, which was not the correct song, and he knew it in that moment, but couldn't correct anyone, because it was all playing out on the big screen TV in his basement. When he realized this he turned it off and noticed a familiar head of hair on his lap and stroked it, about to say "Hey, sunshine." until the figure sat up and looked at him, and it was Jordan, the PTA, batting his eyelashes at him, and asking, "You ready for bed, babe?"  The therapist leaned in for a kiss, but Sy leaned back, tumbled off the couch and landed on those crutches again, standing right in front of Shane in the lobby of the therapy clinic.

"Hey sunshine." he said warmly. She looked confused.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Well…I should hope so…it's me. Sy."

"Sorry, not ringing any bells. I'll look you us and see who you're with, though. Usually Heather tells the new patients which therapists they get their first day. What's your last name?"

He felt like he was getting kicked in the gut with a soccer cleat worn by the Incredible Hulk. He answered with defeat.

"Sy's a nickname. Last name Syverson, first name Logan."

"Oh, there you are. Looks like Cory gets to take care of you today. I'll let him know you're ready. As long as you're all done with the secretaries?"

Sy nodded and collapsed to the floor blacking out. When he woke up, his neighbor, Mr. Stevens was standing over him, insisting it was time for him to get ready. He kept handing him things to put on. Pants, a nice shirt, a vest, a light blue tie, a jacket, nice shoes. The whole enchilada. They got out of Fred's car at a little white chapel outside which, his neighbor pinned a small boutonniere of powder blue hydrangeas to his lapel and walked in with him.

"Come on, boy. She'll be here any minute."

Sy was nervous, but excited. He was obviously marrying Shane. But he couldn't remember proposing, or planning the wedding, or an engagement party, or bachelor party, or rehearsal dinner, nothing…but none of that mattered. He heard the first notes of "Here Comes the Bride" and everything faded away, anyway. He began to cry as she got closer. She was moving slowly, he presumed out of nerves. Or perhaps she'd chosen the wrong shoes. It didn't matter. They'd dance the night away barefoot, and make love until dawn. He wished her veil wasn't so thick. He couldn't even see her bouquet. Let alone her stunning face, no doubt smiling as she cried with him. When she stood in front of him, he broke protocol and removed the veil to find Aika in a white dress on her hind legs panting, tongue lolling happily to one side.

"You may now kiss the bride." said the wizened old minister, causing Aika to knock Sy to the ground licking his face until he blacked out again.

This time, he woke to the chirping birds of a mountain morning in Virginia. His campfire long snuffed, his canteen now chilled as his blood. Those dreams…those were traumatic. He didn't want Shane to see anyone else. The thought of seeing anyone else himself repulsed him. Thinking about what his life would have been like if they'd never gotten to work together made him physically ill, and he was terrified that if he didn't act on these feelings, he'd end up with no one but his dog. Why did it take a trip out of state and all these nights of solitude to figure this out? She was all that mattered. He could dig ditches, flip burgers, get a teaching certificate and coach, or teach gym. Whatever. He also liked history. He could think of something if the people at Secure Source couldn't keep him in consistent work. It would be fine. He understood his purpose now. And it wasn't just to do his duty to his country. He'd served proudly for years. He had a new purpose now. And it was her.

He packed up camp in what he was sure was record time and hauled ass to the last checkpoint where the brass should be waiting for finishers. He was the first one there this morning, but he wasn't sure if anyone had made it yesterday. He didn't try to make small talk with the attendant today. He was on a legit mission to get back to his locker at the compound, turn his phone on and call Shane. He fired four shots, but only made two holes on the long range target. One in the chest, one in the head. The attendant was impressed, giving the highest possible grade.

"Man, Syverson. I pray I never do anything to piss you off."

Sy nodded in acknowledgement and went on to the weapons drill booths. Today, there were distracting sound effects playing on a speaker in each booth, and each one was different. Sy ignored the cacophony, pretending it was white noise, and focused on the puzzles at hand, breezing through the new weapons in better time than ever.

As his cards were being scored and turned in for review to Jane Freitag, the administrator over acquisitions and training, he got himself a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and just observed her, tactically, and objectively. She was a redhead with sharp features, freckles, and light eyes. She was slender, but dressed simply, and modestly. The consummate professional. Sy had honestly barely registered her gender, and it wasn't because she wasn't beautiful. She was. Full red lips, lashes for days, and although her clothes didn't exactly accentuate her shape, he could tell he had a decent figure. He just wasn't interested. And would never be interested in anyone but Shane again. Miss Freitag startled him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Syverson." She beckoned him to the entrance to the tent near her vehicle.

He picked up his gear and coffee and trotted over to her.

"Ma'am?"

"Jane, please."

"Sy, then, for me. What's next on the agenda?"

"Well, you're the first participant across the finish line. I'm very impressed. It seems as though you almost could have finished last night."

"Yes, ma'am, if I hadn't taken a little extra time for sightseeing, I might have made it here by dusk last night. I just haven't had the hustle I had today."

"Well, that's nothing to sneer at. Normally, the deprivation of food, regular water supply, and proper sleeping conditions make participants sloppy. The opposite seems to be true for you, as you've done better at each checkpoint than the one before. Now, let's get back to the compound and get you a proper meal, and a shower, and talk about what's next for you here at Secure Source."

"Yeah, about that. Before we go much further with this, I need to know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I need to know if you'll be able to find me work near enough to St. Robert and the base there so that I don't have to relocate and travel all the time.  I've got a life there, and…it's not something I can just pick up and move on a whim, and I don't want to be away for weeks and months at a time. I know I made this trip work, but I'm praying it didn't already ruin everything." He wasn't going to waste time mincing words. He needed to know right away or else this wouldn't work.

"Sy, with your talent…they're gonna want to put you on the high profile cases. Celebrity security. Concerts, movie premiers, things like that. You'll be wasted as a small town rent-a-cop." there was true concern in her face and her voice as she drove them out of the park and onto the main road to Secure Source's compound.

"If there's a need I can fill, how is that a waste? There's lots of talent in this program. Just 'cause I finished first don't mean I did it the best. And I'm sure most of these folks have the people skills to take them farther'n me. And if you wanna gimme first crack at those, I'll hear ya out. Just…let me reserve the right to turn down the out of town jobs. Especially if they're short notice. And if it takes me away from another security job, I want you to send me a replacement a few days in advance so I can meet 'em, train 'em, and introduce 'em around."

"Seems reasonable." Jane said.

"Well, alright, then. I think we got ourselves a deal. I'll shower up in the locker room real quick, then meet ya in the commissary for a sandwich so we can handle the particulars?"

"Sure, Sy." she agreed as they pulled into the parking structure.

They went their separate ways, Jane to her office, and Sy to the quartermaster to return his supplies and get the key to his locker. He practically danced there, he was so giddy to get to call Shane. He did need a quick shower first, though. Which he took, grabbing some shampoo and soap out of his travel bag. When he got back to his locker, towel around his waist, he replaced the products and grabbed his phone. He sat on the bench between the rows of lockers as it booted up.

When it did, it began alerting him as if it's life depended on it. Three text messages, three voicemails, … and twenty four missed calls. That was odd. Maybe a telemarketer had gotten his number.

He checked the texts first. One was a picture of Aika from Fred, his neighbor, the other two were from Shane…two days ago. The day he went into the park.

Hey, hope you have a great first day of Survivor: Virginia! Lol! Be safe! I love you!

OMG, nutty day today! I'm gonna be doing notes for hours! I'll text you in the morning! <3

And then nothing…he chuckled at Survivor: Virginia, but was a bit concerned. Maybe she'd decided not to waste time texting him if he wasn't going to respond? He didn't know. Maybe some of the calls or voicemails were from her. He'd check before calling.

One from his mom, one from the Stephen's house phone, and the rest were from Fort Wood Therapy. That was weird. He was discharged and didn't have any appointments…surely he wasn't missing any…Shane would have said something. He listened to the voicemails. The first one was from Heather.

"Hey, Sy, it's Heather, Shane's friend here at therapy. Hey, give me a call when you get this. Thanks."

Weird…the next one was from Susan, Shane's boss. In the same tone.

"Captain Syverson, it's Susan DeForrest here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. Please give us a call when you get this. Thank you."

Again, weird. The last one was Susan again and far less friendly and measured.

"Mr. Syverson. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you need to bring Shane back to work and stop screwing around. One or both of you is in serious trouble. Either you're being hot-lined for abduction or she's fired for not showing up for work. The choice will be hers." and the line went dead.

Sy felt his stomach twist into nauseated knots at Susan's words. Shane hadn't been to work. For how long? He had to call them. He didn't want to think about the horror that might have befallen Shane while he'd been away.

"Fort Wood Therapy Clinic, this is Heather, how may I help you?" Heather said, trying to hide the obvious worry beneath the cordial demeanor.

"Heather, it's Sy, what the hell's going on with Shane? What do you mean, she hasn't been to work, I don't…"

"Let me give you to Susan, Sy. I'm sorry." She added the last two words in a whisper. After a brief moment on hold, Susan picked up.

"So, Mr. Syverson. Finally decided to call us back?"

"Cut it out, Susan." He let her blatant ignorance of his rank slide in favor of getting to the point. "Tell me what's going on."

"Shane left work Monday and hasn't been back since. No one has seen her. Apart from you, I presume. I knew letting her date a patient would come back to bite me. I should never have--"

"Shut up! This isn't about you, and it isn't because of you. And you had no right to tell Shane who she could and couldn't date, anyway. I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. I'm training out of state for a job. I've been away from my phone since Monday, and I just got back to it now."

"She isn't…with you? I assumed…"

"Well, you know what they say, Susan. I'm coming back early if I can manage it. See if I can do something to help find her. Thanks for calling me. I know your intentions weren't the best when you did, but ultimately, it worked out. I may not have found out otherwise, at least until… much later."

He hung up before she could respond. He had to talk to Jane about cutting his training short. This was all his fault. If he had just come to the realization of just how important, how vital Shane really was to him before he left…well he never would have gone in the first place. She was his life now. His world. His future, and his whole heart. Tears stung his eyes as he dressed to meet Jane in the commissary. She'd have to be okay with this. She'd have to understand.

As he got closer to the smell of fry oil, seasonings, and sizzling meat on a griddle, aromas that usually made his stomach grumble with hunger, he had to swallow back the bile that crept up his throat. He found her seated at a small round four-top, already eating a salad. He sat across from her, startling her from whatever she was reading on her phone, and again when she looked at his expression and complexion.

"Sy, what's wrong? You look downright green!"

"Listen, Jane, I'm going to have to leave training early." She scowled at him, but he was more concerned with the putrid smells of boiled egg and onion coming off her chef salad. He had to get this over with quick before he wretched in the middle of the mess hall.

"That's a big ask, Sy. Gonna have to have a reason."

"I just got a call that my girlfriend is missing. I need to go home and help find her."

"Oh…yeah, that's…that's some reason. I'm really sorry to hear that. Any leads so far?"

"No, I just got off the phone with her useless boss and all she told me was that she hasn't been to work since Monday and can't be reached on her phone. I have my suspicions, but I wanna talk to the authorities."

"Okay, well. Maybe when things calm down at home, we can set you up with some online courses like we do for our assets who need refreshers, but are on assignment. I'll approve that for you."

"Thanks," he said, gratefully, "I'm also wondering if the company has any…transportation solutions for me…of an immediate nature?"

"Man, what were your letters to Santa like as a child?"

"Oh, you know, a little red wagon, end of poverty, world peace…that kind of stuff." he grinned his most charming grin.

"Why am I not surprised? Okay, but you have to return the favor somehow, Sy."

"How about, one assignments of your choosing, no questions asked?"

"Hmmm, what about five assignments?"

"Three?" he countered.

"Done." they shook hands across the table. "I would have settled at two." she smirked.

"I would have done ten." he winked at her as he turned to retrieve his belongings from his bunk and locker. He had a plane…or perhaps a chopper to catch.

Up Next: Chapter 14: No Call No Show

[julimond92]

The DLC Legacy Challenge

CreatiI wanted to share a legacy challenge that I came up with to change up my own gameplay and explore more content in TS4. Each generation focuses on one DLC. It does not follow the traditional/original legacy rules as I haven’t assigned any points or anything like that. It also isn’t a super elaborated challenge. The player can choose themself what kind of story they want to tell with each generation.

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampires, Realm of Magic, or Star Wars GP packs nor any of the new kits, so any gameplay included in those DLC is obviously not included in the challenge. All other packs are included in the order in which they came out (last generation = Snowy Escape, 14 generations total). If you don’t have all the DLC, you can simply skip a generation. You may share this challenge, but please link to my tumblr. 

Have fun and let me know what you think! Happy simming! :)

Rules: Each generation must produce an heir, but there are no rules as to who can be an heir, that’s up to the player. Adoptions are allowed too. You may only proceed with the next generation (= move them out) when the next heir has a) reached the Young Adult life stage, and b) the previous heir has fulfilled all their objectives. You may, however, start working on the succeeding heir’s aspiration etc. while they still live with the previous generation. The objectives do not need to be completed in the order they appear here. If an heir has fulfilled an aspiration, a new one may be chosen. Each new heir starts out with starter funds (§20,000) on a new lot in the world assigned to that generation. You may play in a Tiny Home and use those perks if you own that pack. If you want, you can limit each generation’s CAS and B/B to their respective pack. However, you can always include other gameplay aspects from other packs too. Spares and spouses’ traits and aspirations may be chosen freely. One objective for each generation is to get married. You may opt to neglect that objective and choose to play with other types of families as well. Just make sure to have a subsequent heir for the following generation. The legacy is intended for a normal life span, but you may change to longer/individual. I just wouldn’t recommend short life span :D You may use CC and mods to enhance gameplay as long as it doesn’t give you an advantage with any of the objectives (no cheats allowed!). 

Disclaimer: Parenthood GP has not been assigned for a specific generations as I feel those gameplay features will be used anyway in raising generations.

Gen 1: Founder -- Base Game

World: Willow Creek

Career: Writing -- Author

Aspiration: Knowledge -- Bestselling Author

Objectives:

max. career

max. writing skill

max. 1 additional BG skill

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

Gen 2: Get to Work

World: Newcrest

Career: Doctor / Police / Scientist (any of the GtW active careers, you choose!)

Aspiration: Love -- Soulmates

Objectives:

max. career

fulfill aspiration

max. baking skill

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

finish elements collection

if you own Outdoor Retreat: vacation in Granite Falls at least once

Gen 3: Get Together

World: Windenburg

Career: Style Influencer -- Stylist

Aspiration: Popularity -- Leader of the Pack

Objectives

max. DJ skill

max. dancing skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

if you own Spa Day: max. wellness skill

Gen 4: Dine Out

World: San Myshuno (if you own City Living, if not choose a BG world)

Career: Critic -- Restaurant / OR: own and operate successful restaurant

Aspiration: Fortune -- Fabulously Wealthy

Objectives:

max. cooking skill

max. gourmet cooking skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

collect all food photos

if you own City Living: acquire all city recipes

Gen 5: City Living

World: San Myshuno

Career: Politics -- Politician

Aspiration: Location -- City Native

Objectives:

max. singing skill

win karaoke contest

max. career

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

live in a penthouse

participate in all festivals at least once

collect all posters

collect all snowglobes

if you haven’t done so in Gen 4: acquire all city recipes

Gen 6: Cats & Dogs

World: Brindleton Bay

Career: Vet -- Own and operate pet clinic

Aspiration: Animal -- Friend of the Animals

Obejctives:

max. vet skill

max. pet training skill

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

own pet clinic

breed pets

showcase pet

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

collect all feathers

If you own Bowling Night SP: max. bowling skill

Gen 7: Jungle Adventure

World: Oasis Springs

Career: Secret Agent -- Diamond Agent

Aspiration: Nature -- Jungle Explorer

Objectives:

max. archaeology skill

max.  Selvadoradian Culture

max. career

fulfill aspiration

collect all artefacts

explore all caves and hidden places in Selvadorada

get married to a Selvadoradian

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

Gen 8: Seasons

World: Windenburg

Career: Gardner -- Botanist

Aspiration: Nature -- Freelance Botanist

Objectives:

max. flower arranging skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

(get married)

celebrate all seasons and holidays

successfully change the weather at least once using the weather machine

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

have at least 1 child complete the scouts career

finish gardeining collection

own a ‘farm’ on 64x64 in Windenburg

secretly own a cow plant

Gen 9: Get Famous

World: Del Sol Valley

Career: Actor/Actress

Aspiration: Creativity -- Master Actor/Actress

Objectives:

max. acting skill

max. media production skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

own a house in the Pinnacles

get married to celebrity

have excellent reputation

be a 5 star celebrity

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

have a child fulfill after school acting

win an accelate

Gen 10: Strangerville

World: Strangerville

Career: Military -- Covert Operator

Aspiration: 1) Location -- Strangerville Mystery; 2) Knowledge -- Nerd Brain

Objectives:

max. fitness skill

max. career

solve Strangerville mystery

fulfill both aspirations

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

collect all postcards

Gen 11: Island Living

World: Sulani

Career: Conservationist -- Marine Biologist

Aspiration: Beach Life

Objectives:

max. career

fulfill aspiration

max. guitar skill

marry a mermaid/merman

become friend with a dolphin

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

collect all shells

collect all hidden treasures

Gen 12: Discover University

World: Britechester (you may move to another world once you’ve graduated)

Career: 1) Student; 2) Mechanical Engineer 

Aspiration: Knowledge -- Academic

Objectives:

max. research + debate skill

live in a dorm for at least one semester

max. robotics skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

get a distinguished degree

join an organization / a team

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

join secret organization

Gen 13: Eco Living

World: Evergreen Harbor

Career: Civil Designer -- Green Technician

Aspiration: Eco Innovator

Objectives:

max. juice fizzing skill

max. candle making skill

max. fabrication skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

make world’s footprint green

change all common lots

have self-sufficient home

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

If you own Nifty Knitting SP: max. knitting skill and teach your child how to knit

Gen 14: Snowy Escape

World: Mt. Komorebi

Career: Sales Person -- Expert Branch

Aspiration: Athletic -- Extreme Sports Fan

Objectives:

max. skiing skill

max. climbing skill

max. snowboarding skill

max. career

fulfill aspiration

visit all festivals at least once

collect all simmies

(get married)

have at least 1 heir to continue (adoption is OK)

explore all hiking trails

[thisissirius]

written for an anon who wanted any pairing,  “You haven’t laughed in a long time and I guess I was staring ‘cause I forgot what happiness looked like on you.” Reposted because TUMBLR FUCKED UP. stupid tumblr.

get loved eddie/buck, post-episode “powerless” and uses speculation of the next episode but no spoilers!

It’s exhausting.

Buck’s running on adrenaline alone, emotionally and physically battered by the day’s events. The power outage and the problems that brought, Athena - and Buck can’t handle the implications of that right now - and the train crash.

Abby.

Watching her walk away from him was tough and Buck’s been certain for so long he would never see her again, wonders if he would have if not for the crash. Pushing it down and dealing with the people who need his help takes most of his attention, pretending he’s not flaying apart on the inside is easy.

Eddie sees, because of course he does. He’s there when the words my fiancé ring through the air and Buck feels it like a physical punch. He’s there when Buck finds Abby’s fiancé and gets him free, trying not to think about what the ring on the guy’s finger means. He’s there at the end of it, when Abby touches his face, tells him a part of her will always love him.

“I know,” he manages, smiling slightly. It hurts less than he thought it would. “Same.”

“I’ll call you?”

“My number’s the same,” Buck informs her. He feels the press of Eddie along his side, and takes a deep breath. It gives him courage. “I’m glad I got to see you this last time.”

Abby looks surprised, then smiles gently. She really was something he desperately needed, a person he’s never going to be able to thank enough for the change she brought in him. “Take care, Buck.”

Buck nods, stares after her.

“We got clean up,” Eddie says, gloved-hand on his arm. Buck stares at it, at Eddie’s face. Face unreadable, eyes darting across Buck’s face like he’s looking for something. Buck feels something in his chest loosen. He nods and Eddie looks relieved. “Come on.”

“I don’t think my body’s ever been this tired,” Buck complains, collapsing onto one of the benches in the locker room. Hen snorts, tugging her sweater over her head. Buck cracks open an eye. “Don’t laugh. I’m serious.”

“Baby,” Hen coos, leaning down to ghost a kiss over his hair. “Yeah, maybe wash that first.”

Buck snorts. “I washed it! Not as well as if I was home, but it’s not my fault you were being cruel and got comeuppance.”

“Comeuppance,” Chim says, mouthing the word again.

“I know words,” Buck says, mock-pouting.

“Very long ones,” Eddie says loyally. He’s mostly changed, lacing up his boots, and raises an eyebrow when he catches Buck looking. “You’re coming over.”

It’s not a question.

“I am, huh?” Buck says, grinning.

“Yes,” Eddie says decisively. Standing, he eyes Buck’s locker. “So get dressed.”

“Yessir,” Buck snaps, tossing off a ridiculous salute and it does what he intends; everyone laughs.

They’re all tired, all suffering from the day’s events, and Buck doesn’t like to see his family sad. He does what he can to protect them, even when he’s not sure what to do with the storm of emotions in his own chest.

“Clothes, Buck,” Eddie prompts, rolling his eyes. “I’m not helping you clean your truck tomorrow when you realize it’s gross because you didn’t change.”

“I’m still gross,” Buck points out, gesturing at his hair. “So Hen says.”

Eddie’s smile widens. “You’re planning on rubbing your hair all over your car?”

“He’s tall, he can’t help it,” Chim cuts in unhelpfully, and shoulders his backpack. “Later, I have a girlfriend to kiss.”

“My sister,” Buck mutters but starts to pull on his clothes. He’s shivering a little from the cold and as much as he wants to spite Eddie for being a commanding asshole, he wants to be dressed more.

Hen chimes off another goodbye and Buck awkwardly waves. He’s left alone with Eddie, who’s leaning against the wall, thumbing through his phone. Buck lets himself look; it’s not weird, right? Eddie’s his best friend and it’s not Buck’s fault if he always looks good.

“So,” Eddie says, eyes meeting Buck’s slowly. “Abby.”

“I don’t want to talk about it here,” Buck says immediately.

Eddie nods, as though expecting it. “Cool. I told Carla you’re joining me at home. She’s gonna leave when we get there so decide if you actually wanna end up making breakfast in the morning.”

Buck laces up his sneakers and gives Eddie an unimpressed look. “Are you kidding? I thought we agreed you weren’t allowed in the kitchen anymore, man.”

“Ha ha,” Eddie deadpans. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Buck tells him, shutting his locker and grabbing his duffel. “As if I’m gonna let Christopher eat anything unless it’s vetted by me, Abuelita, or Bobby.”

There’s a strange look on Eddie’s face, but it’s gone quickly. “I hate that you know my Abuela so well.”

Buck knows better, so he sticks his tongue out. Childish, maybe, but he doesn’t care. He tells Eddie he’ll follow him home and Eddie agrees, heading for his own truck. Buck watches him go, letting out a slow breath. He doesn’t know why it’s so easy to be around Eddie, to feel everything he is and have it mean nothing because Eddie’s smiling at him, talking to him, caring about him.

That’s always got to mean something, right?

“It hurts,” he says, when they’re standing on the driveway. Eddie pauses, looks back over his shoulder. “But it hurts less when you’re around.”

It’s a moment that stretches, and Buck worries he’s said something wrong.

“Come on,” Eddie says, reaching for Buck’s hand. Buck lets him, squeezes when Eddie tugs him towards the house. “Let’s say goodnight to Chris.”

Chris is excited to see Buck, even though he’s almost asleep on Buck’s shoulder as he carries him down the hall. “You can make pancakes.”

Buck laughs gently, kisses Chris’ temple. “Can’t let your dad poison everyone,” he agrees.

“Right.” Chris is grinning as he settles in bed. “Buck?”

“Yeah?”

Chris is still smiling when he touches Buck’s face. “I wish you could stay forever.”

Warmth unfurls in Buck’s stomach and he grins, kisses Chris’ forehead. “Maybe I will, Superman.”

“Night, Buck.”

“Night,” Buck replies, backing out of the room. He leaves the door ajar, pausing in the hallway outside. “Fuck.”

“He told you, then?”

Buck’s head snaps up to meet Eddie’s amused smile. “Uh-”

Eddie steps closer, arms by his sides. He looks awkward, but there’s a certainty to his expression, a defiant tilt to his chin. “I wanted to get mad at Abby.” Buck stays silent, can see the uncertainty in Eddie, the way he shrugs, runs his fingers over each other. “She left you. She didn’t care that she’d hurt you, didn’t,” Eddie cuts himself off, meets Buck’s eyes again. “She loved you, though. Gave me the you that’s here, right now.”

“I loved her,” Buck says, because what else can he?

“I know.” Eddie nods, takes another step closer. Buck turns to face him, reaches out and Eddie steps into his embrace. Buck doesn’t know what’s happening, doesn’t know what to do with his hands, his lips, but Eddie does. He presses up, kisses Buck carefully. Right, Buck thinks. It’s right, and he rests his thumb against Eddie’s cheek. “And now you love me.”

On anyone else, it’s conceited. Eddie looks awed by the statement; eyes wide, stunned, like he can’t imagine how Buck could ever.

“Duh,” Buck says, kissing Eddie again.

“You’re hurting.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s hips.

“Maybe,” Buck allows, and he pulls Eddie closer. Eddie rests his cheek against Buck’s shoulder, and Buck cradles the back of his head, buries his face in Eddie’s hair. “It’ll fade.”

Eddie lets out a slow breath, relaxes under Buck’s hands. “Stay.”

“Can’t get rid of me,” Buck whispers, laughing gently. “Besides, I can’t let you cook for Chris anymore.”

“Asshole,” Eddie says. shoving at Buck’s shoulder.

It’s like the amusement cuts through everything else and Buck can’t stop laughing. He muffles it with his hand, not wanting to disturb Chris, and he only stops when he sees the look on Eddie’s face. “Why are you staring?”

“You haven’t laughed in a long time, like that,” Eddie says, waving his hand. “I guess I was staring ‘cause I forgot what happiness looked like on you.”

Buck shrugs, feels his face heat because he doesn’t know what to say to that. Eddie rests a hand on his shoulder, but Buck pulls him back in for a kiss, hand in Eddie’s hair. “You make me happy, Eddie.”

“Yeah?” Eddie breathes. For someone so confident, who trusts themselves, Eddie rarely sees the amazing person he is, the one Buck sees.

“Yeah.” Buck jerks his head in the direction of the bedroom. “Let me show you how much.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling warmly as they back up, pawing at Buck’s chest, hands in his hair as they kiss again.

This, Buck thinks, is what Abby’s absence gave him; a man who loves Buck in ways Buck didn’t know he could be loved. Wholeheartedly, carefully. As though Buck’s worth something.