#BUT NO. NO THEY DON'T LAY EGGS LMFAO

[bluerasbunny]

Does dca lay eggs

no, no they don't

[shame-kink]

god the arc in space was good

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Okay time for the liveblogging of real life in order (liveblogging life SMP call that lifeblogging) I have never done this b4 be easy on me

Grian

I've already watched his perspective at like 5 in the morning but heyyyyy nothing wrong with rewatching with added non sleep deprived commentary but also not really memories of what I originally thought watching this too :^))

I remember being so stunned they called it real life and the anatomically correct heart 🫀tickled my funny bone heeheehoo hahaha

Thought when grian said replay 3rd life I thought they'd reenact it 😭

We live in a society taxes man (I could ramble about it)

GRIAN IRL FACE!!!

has anyone fell over btw?

No lie that B can BIG

Reminds me of slimecicle jshitt and traves VR Minecraft where Travis got progressively shorter what a laugh

Does Scott ever see his scream

Is it take the Mick or take the nick love that idiom

RENDOG!

Scar looks like a child doing that thing

Awww hug

ABUSE

scar take the headset off dzuh 🫀🫀🫀

Grian literally me balance issues

Yugioh????

I called it, scar would say he's American 😎

I'm eating dinner while watching this at the same time what fun w

Giran called solidaritygaming jimmy no way + he died first fr this time + loud "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Perfectly timed his mic peaking is iconic

Ha haa!

He ear him bread

Really putting the mine in craft for Minecraft

reminds me of secret life EP 4 and scar is sweaty

*scar noises*

How did scar drop his phone???

Check your wrist? More like check your a- (tom cardy référence)

I love the way VR makes you hit stuff goofy

Can you run in game if you irl

(watch him die)

Haha he died

Why Jim is he sabotaging him

Jim Jim Jim gym gym

Doesn't Jim die here oh LMFAO he does

Jimmy you are famous to me

(scout voice) Chicken

How did scar die???

I love how vr makes them expressive Jim pointing to village house is so funny

There's only one bed

Wtf is happening in top right corner in 9min 30 sec

Ayyyyy there's grian the maniac love the casual position of the arms

Last life you can join me moment

Egg

Grian gaslighting

Jimmy you wanna dance quote of the year

PvP is so silly

Skizz is fighting a losing battle Jim killed him icon

I love how grian and Jim's yells overlap there's probably something music theory there idk

Awww scar he's so funny

Go pick him up from daycare haha

Facing away from the camera we live in a society

OHHHHH impulse big smart man Jimmy's arm movements are so smooth it's solly

Jimmy immediately leaving for fish cocomelon brain I agree

Love the arm movements

Lol they actually like down

It's okay grian scuffed is worth celebrating

Has anyone layed on their side

Friend just texted me about my monologue what am I doing man I have an audition tomorrow

Anyway Minecraft vr

The lying down model inventory so goofy

Rewatching the bread scene no wonder tumblr loves it looks like Jim jam actually has a mouth 👄

Impulsesv guess the build sheep flashbacks

Best sleepover

Polyamorous tony (died)

Sleepover reminds me of crazy Christmas w/gem and pearl

Grown men learn how to close doors

Minecraft fatshaming grian smh my head

Man thought it was more than Joel there + o2 max(xing) scar love it (i use maxxing ironically) (it's such a stupid suffix to me linguistically funny) (I hate incels) (don't cancel me tumblr) (I love all genders)

Two steps: die, and die

Jimmy isn't on fire??

Casual "it burns so much!" Love it

Wait right Jim still has a wooden sword

Joel Joel Joel Joel you know that one part in waiting for Godot where they just go back and forth in saying aideu yeah

So silly

Jim saying get in British people man

"noffing" - joel is it a British thing

Love Joel screaming he's so malding

Just remembered how scary heights are in VR because I thought for a second "why don't they jump down? are they stupid?" (Meme Reference) (Didn't actually think that) ("Stupid" is kinda stupid but I digress)

Hole

Boob stroke

Does scar enjoy the swimming

Why *does* swimming cause motion sickness anyway

Why bucket scar (this is a bucket)

Brain eating amoeba

GOON SQUAD!!!

Love Grian's arm movements I really did thonk Jim was gonna win for the funnies

He says come here weirdly

The joy of killing

Is Jim punching

It's okay hiking simulation

Go Jim go what a gamer boy

I remember the triple dog door dugout is like... Gem's? Joel's? Uhhhh I fotgor

Concussion era

Fresh meat

I just love their dynamics

JIM STOP SOUNDING LIKE THAT it's like his eyes are 🥺 and his mouth is boowomp spongebob like he's got tears in eyes scrimblo sounding ass

Ohhh there's my favourite theatre kids

'orrible

Joel saying boys make me happy

Wait that can misinterpreted

Joel saying "boys" sounds pleasant to my ears

I remember watching this part and going GRIAN FIRST OUT HUH???

awww the funnies

Love the way gem says "we're the last Grians. Grians? Greens!" It's like... Spunky

Grian falling reminds me of my scuffed keyboard when it registers a button press as a hold and then I like never stop walking right *sigh*

The downward spiral by nine inch nials

Ascending is TRUE watcher lore

Oh the music is so cute

Bye scar! Bye Joel!

Okay never let me liveblog cook again i kinda listened to the vid instead of watching reading this does not make sense to anyone but me reference hell half formulated thoughts RIP BOZO HAHA

Maybe I'll like do it in 5 mins chunks for JJJJJJoel and the next ones onward I spent like an hour on this wayyyyy too long for incomplete sentences

End

[lemonhemlock]

Tbfh if aemond or daeron were born a girl i don't think alicent would betroth any of them to rhaenyra's sons for the same damn reason she didn't sign off on the jacelaena marriage. like when i see these female aegon, female aemond, fem daeron AUs and it pairs them with one of the stronglaryon boys to "fix" the Dance or whatever i just facepalm. Im sorry but if aemond was a girl you bet your ass alicent would've turned around and married her to daeron or a lord from one of those nice Reach houses (but most likely daeron b/c otto would advise her not to give away a targ princess with The Biggest Fucking Dragon in the world so they don't create another faction of dragon riders like rhaenys did when she married into the velaryons) before even considering handing her over to one of the Stronglaryon boys. The first and only time i was willing to consider it was when an author used it as a plot point to show how shitty of a dad viserys was lmfao ('twas an au fic where luke gouged out fem aemond's eye and as an "apology" viserys forced luke and fem aemond into a betrothal jsjsjsjjsj)

Btw This isn't directed at you or anything you said, this is kinda just me venting lol sorry

oh anon i definitely agree with all your points, it will come at no surprise. :)) i have a couple of posts that might interest you in this regard here and here

i'm 100% with you on the dragons. fans seem to always leave dreamfyre out in their calculations when it comes to marriage alliances. but no way would the greens give up a large, female, egg-laying dragon to another house or a rival faction. like, it completely fucks with any attempt to marry helaena outside of the family and it would also still stand as an argument for any other daughter of alicent's. here is a scenario where all of alicent's children are daughters.

[burninghorizon]

Normally I don't elaborate on the messages I get, and to elaborate i mean "signs" not like social media messages, bc I feel like I'm... idk being performative even though I know I'm not, I don't want people to look at me and think that I'm thinking I'm oh so special look at me i hear the voices of the gods and see their signs- anyway.

I was thinking earlier about the relationship between the astral and the physical and the nature of the two planes. A lot of people go with the density philosophy, that the astral is less densd than the physical and that's why you can't do things on this plane that you can do on the other. I think both of these planes are material planes, unlike the mental plane which is immaterial; While the astral is a plane of energy- and energy is material- I think the physical is a plane of symbols. On this plane we exist in this networks of symbols which connect to- I don't want to say "higher" concepts, they're more like "encompassing" concepts, or aspects of reality, I'm not gonna let myself get bogged down by terminology here.

On top of the post I just rb'ed which was the message that started this post I also got tagged in some cute embroidery by Yarrow @falling-drops-of-ichor (sorry Yarrow you're gonna see my rant now lmfao) featuring fish and I have been cultivating a new aesthetic for funsies which features a lot of embroidered clothes as a symbol of how i "weave" living things into creation and lately, I've been thinking a lot about fish and how I can use them as a symbol to maybe fix the financial situation I'm in. In Korean culture and also other Asian cultures fish are a symbol of wealth because their scales are round and shiny like coins, which I've compounded on in my practice before; A fish swims with the current and to find providence one must move with the envrionment, not against it, to conserve energy(conserving your wealth is how you remain wealthy); A fish has 360° of vision in the water(don't quote me on this I'm very tired but I know fish can see a fucking lot in the water bc of how their eyes work) and seeing far or having foresight can lead you to wealth. A fish lays round eggs like coins in abundance-what the fuck wait lmfao I just got a notification from YouTube from one of the foodtubers I follow for a video titled "trying caviar for the first time" RIGHT AS I TYPE THE FUCKING FISH EGG THING. Ok fish are the symbol for wealth that's it post done goodbye.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Okay I was also thinking a bit about Megatron's size.

I think he should stay shuttleformer size for quite some time, utilising masshifting for his extra bits. Until he eventually grows too big for that as well. I also think he should have the four arms and tail in his mech form.

Bit of a body horror? In the far, far future, like extremely far, maybe he becomes big enough to function as a cityformer. Enough space inside for members of the hive to move around.

Yeah, he's definitely gonna be massive. Shuttleformer size when his first few clutches arrive, and growing slowly over time with his hive as it develops. We actually decided that, yeah, he does likely become titan class in his prime, though shrinks significantly when Cybertron goes dark and the hive is forced to scatter to the cosmos.

As of now we don't have any plans for him to be used as an actual cityformer (though that does give me the idea of eventually him becoming so massive that he basically pulls a Primus/Unicron and transforms himself into a planet and the "well" is just his ovipositor lmfao)

As far as his size and the hive goes, though, I'm imagining because of his mass he's usually pretty stationary. The hive's heart is his throne room, where he lays his eggs, and it's directly connected to the nurseries and incubation chambers. The hive is massive, essentially a giant self contained metropolis. They have their own arenas, schools, weaponsmiths, everything, and it is constantly expanding. There's always new wings and sectors being dug out.

I imagine the hive to be an incomphrensibly large labyrinth, all built around the heart and expanding outward. There's tunnels that are completely vertical and double as chutes/shafts, there are tunnels that loop around endlessly and connect to like 30 different amenities. You could spend years wandering around in there and never find your way out. There are a few major tunnels that are big enough for the queen to traverse in his mech form (his full cybermorph form is much, much bigger: they compact down a decent amount when disguised as full cybertronians), but they rarely see any use.

I'd love to able to pull some weird alien technology and say the tunnels can expand and contract and reroute themselves, as some kind of defensive technology or extension of Megatron's will or whatever, but idk how realistic that is :/ if it's viable though, it would really open the door for him to join fights much easier. Lmk your thoughts?

[simplepotatofarmer]

I love your burbs. Can I ask a q about coturnix quail raising? If you're just starting out, do you think it's best to get a couple chicks from several breeders? And if so, how'd you go about that? Do you like....dm them lmfao. Sorry for the weird q, raising coturnix is smth I'm thinking of doing so I'm trying to wrap my head around the logistics.

i would definitely recommend starting with either some young birds or chicks, as long as you have enough heat! chicks are good because you can handle them and socialize them better. young birds that are feathered are good because they're hardier and you'll know whether they're hens or roos.

so i guess just decide which you'd want! then your best bet is a site like craigslist or kijiji. i've gotten literally all my birds from online ads. there's some places that will ship chicks and places like quail forums or facebook might have groups. which means you're right on the money! you just dm them!

my best suggestion is don't start with too many because they can be weirdly dusty with a lot of birds. you also want to make sure you have a good hen to roo ratio because roos will pull at the hens' heads feathers. you don't even need to have a roo if you're not breeding them because the hens will lay eggs without them.

[insecateur]

Lysandre is most averse to taking from others, but he wears a leather suit and wears fur on his collar. In other words, he is indirectly taking the life of a Pokémon in order to be fashionable.

What do you think about this?

i've been thinking about this question since you sent it bc i have like two answers which are not actually related to each other

to begin with i'll preface this by saying that i usually tend to not touch too much on this in fic and otherwise bc it's just such a nightmare to think about imo - i write lysandre as not eating meat but the like. ethics of eating meat or wearing leather in the pokémon world are side-stepped so weirdly by canon i'm reluctant to get into it myself i guess. which actually brings me to my first answer which doesn't actually have much to do with your question--

i feel like where meat and "animal" products come from is becoming so muddled in pokémon gameverse canon at this point LMFAO, they added sandwiches in scavio and as the ingredients you can pick (which were also a curry ingredient in swsh actually if i remember right) there are like. regular, real life sized eggs? like who tf is laying those? pokémon eggs are fucking yoshi eggs those are wholeass CHICKEN EGGS. WHO IS LAYING THE CHICKEN EGGS. i know it's pokémon they just don't care about it making sense but it's keeping me up at night. at the same time they do reference eating pokémons clearly in canon so you know. anyway this is a tangent but this ask reminded me and sent me down this nightmare mode rabbit hole again

NOW RE: YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION:

i think lysandre's hypocrisy is a big component of his character, actually! he's even sometimes self-aware about it - in pokémas he has a line of dialogue that references this:

"I have no intention of believing that what I do is always for the sake of absolute justice. If that were the case, Pokémon would never have to go through what we put them through."

he's usually too self-righteous to be fully honest with himself that he only compromises in ways that fit his worldview, though. when you face him in his hq in xy he even admits outright that he's decided that he has to take from others in the end because he's the only one who can make things right. (note that he's also unilaterally decided that things have to be made right by him in the first place.) a lot of his character is about appearances, too, so in that respect it makes sense that some of this characteristic would be reflected in his choice of attire.

...in reality though i'm not even sure it was taken into account when designing him LOL. the fur on his collar is clearly meant to evoke yveltal, and you could argue there's no proof his outfit is actually leather, just drawn in a way that makes it look like it is (for the record i am #TeamLeather though.) i also genuinely am not sure tpc even think about how fucking weird this is in the context of the pokémon world, especially considering how they've been in recent games irt food...

BUT... i do like it as a way to highlight the disconnect between him and his ideals, similarly to what i've already pointed out regarding the team flare grunts. i think it's interesting and i do enjoy seeing it explored 👍

[kittyscarfredux]

what's really funny about the conversation about how you develop fetishes from childhood is that I also had phases of being really interested in sneezing and laying eggs. I could have developed either of those kinks in an alternate universe but somehow piss is the one that stuck. I also had the weird pre-kink fascination for any scene where characters hid in tunnels or air vents, an episode of pok*mon where p1kachu got ill from not being able to release electricity, an episode of pok*mon where certain species became uncontrollably enraged by seeing the colour red, scenes in very old disney movies (I feel like this circled around to being not appropriate in more modern kids movies) where child characters drank alcohol and accidentally got drunk without knowing what it was (I know this sounds horrible now lmfao I was obviously a child myself). but I also don't think any weird cartoon scenes "gave me" kinks, as much as people make jokes about that. they came along and introduced concepts to my developing freak brain but the concepts would not have appealed to me if not for my natural freakishness.

[holyaching]

HOLYACHING . . . a private &* highly selective independent rp blog, featuring SUNDAY of hoyoverse's HONKAI : STAR RAIL. as damned by gabriel ( 21+, they / them prns ) — minors &* personal blogs are prohibited from interacting. viewer discretion is advised as this blog will contain mature &* nsfw content. all will be tagged appropriately. — template credit. / art credit.

———————————————————— † ————————————————————

a study on eternal blessings &* holy condemnation, the plights of icarus' fall, the dark side of the moon &* the light in which it craves, something far too fragile — a bird made of glass . . . the plummet down will shatter you. your tongue which once lamented sacred text now utters a prayer to die. " please, please, " words uttered so softly, " let me die. "

temp. rules are under the read - more.

an overview. holyaching is a highly selective independent blog, run by me . . . gabriel, or better known as rie ! i'm twenty - four &* i prefer they / them prns. i block those who are under 18 as well as personal blogs that interact with my posts. pls don't reblog anything if you're a personal blog . . . don't get me wrong i'm super touched but being perceived will kill me.

activity &* response time. this blog will be super slow ! to be pretty upfront, i've had a hell of a twenty - twenty four . . . idk it's been really rough. i might be here every day some days, &* never around on other days. please just bare with me.

writing. i would say that i write on a fully literate / advanced scale. most of my responses be at minimum two paragraphs, &* i do tend to heavily format them. if you have rules against formatting, i will abide by them — i might forget but i promise that's not my intention. just give me a heads up !

crossovers, duplicates, &* ocs. i like them &* i'm fine writing against them !

contact. my askbox is always open to my mutuals, as is my ims. you're also free to ask me for my discord, though i can be kind of hard to reach on there.

nsfw. this blog will contain it ! i mean who else is gonna write bird boy laying eggs smh . . . ( /j )

shipping. tbh i'm not gonna be like "oh i love all dynamics equally" i actually fucking love romantic shipping so much lmfao. i'm so down to do just about any pair, just ask me about it or be brave &* send me in some romantic - esque prompt.

affiliates. i don't have any atm ! i am also not affiliated with any sort of "rpc" nor will i ever be.

[frostbite-the-bat]

BACK TO WRITING THE DREAM I HAD about the dream I had

Mostly forgot all the sections of it

But I remember a part that was like a how to train your dragon video game, which was mostly focused on the existing cast but I could talk to everyone - it was all in first person, too. unsure if i was a dragon or if i was a viking, but either way i could speak and didn't have a dragon of my own yet seemingly (unless i was the dragon - this dream wasn't very polite in letting me know what i am or giving me a larger role in the story, i was mostly in the backseat of other things happening in the game cutscene-esque moments)

i remember observing some dragons and how they fly and?? how some dragons need to keep their wings and some don't need them to be recognizable or something? yea this part was nonsense spat at me after watching a video on butterfly metamorphosis lmfao

then 2 scenes stand out, one where i look into a large, large crater behind berk. it was a very different place, way deeper into the woods and surrounded by hills / mountains, but it was still called berk. the crater reminded me of area zero and in the distance i saw glowing dragon eggs from caves that were poking out. i instantly wanted to go there and investigate and take the lonely eggs into my care - but hiccup said it's a bad idea for my skill level currently.

i would also keep talking about how the crater was either created by a meteor strike, or a volcanic explosion - though yeah it was definitely a meteor.

then, it cuts to a scene of astrid and some different viking flying by swiftly. she looked a lot like astrid, however she was shorter, had black hair - and resembed heather a lot, but it clearly wasn't her. she rode on a smaller deadly nadder (smaller than stormfly) that was slightly purple tinted. she kept flying back and trying to attack, and i remember hiccup and astrid getting behind a shield as this mystery viking got her deadly nadder to shoot spines at it.

then the time kinda?? skipped and things were fine. suddenly, the valley all of this was happening in had like... a hall inside of it? some stairs that went down into a way more modern looking hall. supposedly, i had class to attend. i now had more control over myself and i can recall my thoughts more - but the memory aside from specific moments is still fuzzy.

i had some school trip to attend, and i called bullshit, since i am Out Of School and Unemployed. (i actually have a job-search related thing to attend in 2 fucking days that i DO NOT WANT TO ATTEND that might have affected this dream.) and i really didn't wanna go, and the people there kept being mean to me. (i love bullying trauma) but supposedly, i had to, said the teacher who looked suspiciously like my middle school P.E. teacher and my high school P.E. teacher combined.

i kept walking in and out the place, for some reason, i guess forgetting something each time. first time i was about to leave i forgot my bag - and when i got back a lot of the pins i had on the bottom have been stolen, and i was really upset. the other kids laughed.

i eventually walk out and it's a way bigger space than expected. there was a big, white hallway that reminded me of the underground train station pathways we got here. the way "back" (to where originally berk was), was going to the left, but i decided to go right.

going right took me a flight of stairs, where things got noticeably more wet. there was a whole mall, however - if i turned right once more it was an aquarium! it was also tied to the bathrooms. i was originally gonna make my escape there, but i then begin going through the aquarium.

after making my way through the aquarium, there were some pools - with instructors and a dolphin that the others were observing. the instructor gave a talk about dolphins and how this guy is special for being able to be here. however, i received a map of the pool in my "UI" . it showed the lay out but also random head icons of high roller, and so, very autistically, i keep trying to make my way to those locations

only to find... NOTHING. and of course when i thought i finally saw hr my alarm rings and i wake the fuck up!

fun

there was also a part of the dream during the school trip parts where some kid supposedly died choking to a odd mysterious black piece in a big mlp toy set???? SURE, DREAMS, SURE

[leseggian]

still in an eggy mood but i don't have a kink to rate, so instead what's your ideal egging scenario

apologies i passed out last night when you sent this. but hmmm i think my ideal egging fantasy is a reflection on how i’m kinda a big softie lmfao.

i would rather just be the incubator for one monster/alien/etc. rather than just be free use for anyone who needs to lay eggs… i just find it very intimate to be just a personal incubator who’s just a doted on toy, made to just look adorable and to be absolutely packed with eggs 😳 i would like a long ass incubation period too so instead of constantly laying i would instead be just constantly full with eggs that get slightly bigger every day… they start out as multiple tiny eggs but by the end of their incubation i’m quite literally at my body’s limit… very very good. i would still be able to move around though ideally even if it’s a struggle… and i would need to get regularly fucked too btw since i would be constantly desperate and overall a mess basically but i’m in absolute bliss 👍 i also find it hot if st one point what i need for energy is to just get fed some sort of aphrodisiac… constantly just sucking on a limb yes yes very good.

for how the eggs get in there in the first place i would like it to be just slow but still intense… i’m just completely restrained by some tentacles or being held down by something bigger than me and just be getting fed a steady stream of aphrodisiacs or even better the monster’s saliva just keeps me nice and hazy and pliant… and i can just feel every moment done to me like the ovipositor pushing into my womb and the steady stream of small eggs slowly filling me up, feeling each one pop pass my cervix as i’m constantly getting reassured about how wonderful im doing and how hot i am, i would be just constantly edging due to getting like no friction other than the eggs pushing in due to me needing to stay steady which drives me even more insane due to how long the process is going to take… even though i’m just edging and desperate i’m still in absolute bliss just feeling myself get filled up and how i’m going to be like this for a long time 😳

[hooterhorror]

Wait. I wanna know how you think Thomas, Michael, and Bubba would react to their s/o just getting random bursts of energy at like 3am. Say the s/o cooks or starts doing chores really early bc of said energy burst 😭

OMG BET I relate to this so hard wtf 😭 I hope this is good ❤️

Thomas, Michael + Bubba with an s/o with bursts of energy

warnings: fluff but not proofread

format: headcanons

Thomas.

Thomas has an on and off again schedule when it comes to sleep. He can be up doing household chores late into the night, so it's not uncommon for you to walk downstairs to do the dishes at 3am and already find him finishing them up

he does worry about you when he notices the random bursts of energy. Do you sleep at all? does this affect your awake hours during the day?

He'll pour you a glass of sweet tea when you join him downstairs, smiling sweetly at you

He'd also try and guide you to bed when he feels it's too late

he'll lay with you if that'll calm you down!

wraps his arms around you and anchors you against his chest 🥺 you literally can't help but relax when it's thomas

ESPECIALLY when he's stroking your head and shushes you so gently when you try to defy sleepy time

Luda mae probably insists you drink some tea before bed, but because of the caffeine it might make it worse. or better!

if she finds you and Thomas asleep on the couch, I swear she's gonna shed a few tears- wakes nubbins to take a photo, who's confused and tells the woman she's weird. probably.

Thomas ❤️

that's it. that's the post.

Michael.

Does this man even sleep?

His body hits the mattress and he doesn't move a muscle. still as a board but definitely not light as a feather. You've tried to snatch the blankets out from under him and acvide and flung yourself from the bed in the process before

Even if his eyes are closed, you're unsure of he's asleep because they can snap open so fast

of course a couple years into the relationship, you notice he sleeps deeper and even on his side now instead of on his back

Michael slowly wakes up to the smell of something cooking and sits up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before going downstairs to see what was up

immediately notices the time on the microwave, then sees you at the stove making a borderline buffet breakfast

and he's even more confused when you turn around and smile at him, seemingly wide awake.

sure, he'll accept the meal, but come on y/n! it's 3am and almost 4! why are you awake?

feeling his questioning glare burning a hole into you, you probably end up telling him about your energy and how these bursts just hit you. they control you more than you control them, you tell him.

he grows used to waking up or coming home to you cooking or deep cleaning the kitchen... for the fifth time.

he is worried. but just a little

eventually his sleep schedule changes to matches yours because he's woken up right after you so many times, and now you can just sense the silent man standing behind you when you're at the stove

won't hug you from behind while you cook, but god it's nice to think about isn't it?

"Michael, can you hand me the pepper?"

he's like your little helper now. don't call him that tho or he'll throw the eggs at your head lmfao

Bubba.

I use she/he/they for Bubba!

Sleeps like a stone but wakes up as the bed gets colder without you beside them

feels around for you and the patting gets more and more anxious and desperate

he's wide awake now as they borderline stumble out of bed and run around the house looking for you

she relaxes when they see you folding laundry in the living room, babbling through heavy breaths about how worried he was and-

wait, what time is it!?

looks at the clock then back at you. that repeats for a while until you gently hold her face

the contact settles them down really fast, but he's still confused! Did something happen? did you have a bad dream?

she definitely worries the most out of these three, and it's harder to keep that worry out of his mind.

"I'm okay bubs, really!" yeah she doesn't believe that. he's dragging you back to bed right now!

does anything to get you back to sleep. runs a bath for you, massages your shoulders, etc.

he probably falls back to sleep before you do, and that's okay

because you get to cuddle up to them and OH MY GOD- even in their sleep he instinctively holds you closer and presses his face into your hair 🥺

just wake him up if you can't go back to sleep

she'll happily stay up with you as long as he can, soothing you back into a peaceful sleep eventually.

imagine Drayton finding the entire house cleaned and weeds out front pulled and taken care of because you "couldn't sleep"

he's jealous.

[demomonic-murmurs]

loving your boo [hq characters × monster girlfriend] //p. 1

Welcome to a new series that I am starting. It features haikyuu characters dating various monsters and mostly features NSFW headcanons.

A fair warning; some of these might be a little weird. I will tag everything appropriately, so proceed with that in mind. Each part will feature 5 characters and 6 parts are planned so far.

Pairings: Hoshiumi × Reader, Ushijima × Reader, Iwaizumi × Reader, Osamu × Reader

Warnings: Size difference, Cervix Penetration, Egg Laying, Heat Cycles, Stomach Buldge

Hoshiumi and a Giantess

• Seagull boy is already insecure enough about his height

• he really doesn't like people commeting on his size or he is ready to throw hands

• or people taller than him

• but when he laid his eyes on you

• 250 cm of pure, giant beauty

• that got his feathers ruffled

• he doesn't get why you're insecure of your height to him its the best thing ever

• will ask you to carry him in private, not in public though he got a reputation to uphold

• learns to appreciate his height as well because of you

• because due to it, his face perfectly gets smothered by your big breasts and his hand has access to your cunt when you're just standing up normally

• speaking of cunt

• he knows his dick can't pleasure you lmfao

• he isn't the biggest guy, mostly just girthy but even that can't save him when it comes to your giant pussy

• he doesn't mind though, at least not later

• opens you up until his entire arm is inside of you

• thats a tight fit even for you

• his fingers barely reach your cervix

• which is great because he will totally use them to directly penetrate it

• your poor cervix is so abused lmao

• sucks on your clit like its a popsicle and his life depends on it

• also loves your boobs

• def wants to be quished between them

• loves it when you pick him up and hold him to suck his dick

• it feels so insignificantly small when he is with you so whenever you try to make him feel good he appreciates it

• you don't trust yourself with giving him a hand job, I mean how could you really, you could crush his dick so easily and then what

• so you mostly just settle down and let him use your body however he wants to to avoid any additional danger

• his ego is such an odd mix of immense pride and crippling self doubt

• he really wants to pleasure you but doesn't know if he can or is able to

• please reassure him

• overall fun relationship with a very different sex life

Ushijima and a Fairy

• Size difference in the different direction

• you are tiny and frail compared to Ushijima's tall and buff stature

• adorable pair though

• very popular and very one loves you

• you may have wings but Ushi loves it when you don't use them and ask him instead to help you get something from a shelf

• that being said, he also lives for when you flutter up to him to give him a kiss

• or when you allow him to hold you

• carefully of course because a broken wing would be a bother really

• but his hands are so big

• one hand is enough to fit onto your back and cover it mostly

• he enjoys that feeling of you being small like that

• which of course means that he loves the way you force yourself onto his cock

• it's far too big and thick for your far to tiny pussy

• when you stand next to him, you are at a face level with his crotch

• so even the tip is buldging you already

• not to mention that his cock is a monster

• long, thick and curved

• it can split you in half easily

• loves it most when he is laying down and you sink down onto his cock

• the way you hiss and cry as you take inch after inch is like a concert to him

• loves holding your hips and brushing his thumbs over your stomach taking him so nicely

• you can never fit him completly but it amazes him everytime just how much you can take

• maybe if he just starts stretching you out enough, there will be enough space in your tiny womb for him because he breaks through your cervix like its nothing

• speaking of womb

• loves to cum inside of you and he cums a lot, making you swell up with it quite nicely

• loves how your wings flutter and shudder when you climax, which happens quite often considering how long it takes to just sheat himself into you

• also loves to use you as a cock sleeve to cock warm while he does chores

• nice man that takes good care of you and will make you think of nothing but his cock

Iwaizumi and a Dragonshifter

• Godzilla

• that's the reason he fell for you

• I am sorry

• can totally see it as a childhood friends thing where he befriended you because of that

• and now that the two of you are older he realized just how hot you are

• horns, bat-like wings, claws and a thick scaly tail

• not to mention your teeth

• poor Iwa is done for

• absolutely loves it when you wear anything short or revealing because then he can see the scales framing the more humanoid part of your thighs

• loves it when you give him blowjobs and he is allowed to pull on your horns so you can take him deeper

• your mouth is hotter than the one of an average girl because of your dragon breath

• and your tongue is longer as well

• also loves seeing you pleasure yourself with your tail

• since your clawed hands don't exactly allow you to use them

• but the scales on your tail give you a nice friction to work with

• his favourite season of the year is mating season lol

• when you become so needy that you cut through his pants to suck on him, begging for his semen

• loves taking you from behind because he can see your tail and wings moving around

• rubs the base of both because they are very sensitive zones

• likes to hold up your tail and hug it while he fucks you into the sheets

• your nickname for him is the dragon tamer lmfao

• loves how protective you can get over him

• makes him feel very nice n cozy inside

• knows that you can take care of yourself and relishes in the way you beat up someone

• lowkey turned on by the fact that you can easily beat him at arm wrestling

• Iwa likes a strong woman

• especially if she is half lizard

Osamu and a Swan Girl

• thinks you're beautiful and graceful by default

• loves to run his hand over your feathers

• he still keeps the one you had lost during your first date in a scrapbook

• everything is so soft about you he lives for it

• loves to hold yours hands, which extend from your wings similarly to a bat

• calls you his little angel

• you two own Onigiri Miya together

• and you two have a special item on the list that is limited but a fan favourite

• swan egg ramen

• its a specialty really

• if its ordered (which happens often) Osamu will take a short break and fuck you in the break room so your body will begin to create an egg

• ofc he won't cum in you, he doesn't want to fertilize it

• preferably cums all over your feathers instead

• though he can't deny that he dreams about doing it inside of you one day

• the house made eggs are delicious and if he got time, he loves seeing you push it out

• his favourite sight really

• of course you have a limit of how many you can lay but thats fine, thats why its a special offer that is very popular among humans and monsters alike

• he also loves it when you get in the real mood and perform your little mating dance and sing for him

• lovingly ruffled your feathers so you know he returns your affection

• always makes sure to feed you well after you've laid an egg because its quite stressful for you and he knows that

• and just loves the thought about mating for life with you

Nishinoya and Bunny Girl

• you are a dream come true

• every single high school fantasy is embodied in you

• you're hot to him

• so incredibly hot

• he is horny on main lmao

• takes you in any way imaginable

• loves it if you suck him off and he gets to pull on your ears

• always gently licks and bites them because they're so sensitive

• moans directly into your your ear because he knows it will make you shudder

• not to mention that cute little tail of yours

• any part of fur you possess will be covered in his cum he will ensure that

• ruts himself between your thighs or boobs

• loves to see you collecting his cum with a finger eagerly licking it off

• will absolutely buy you a Karasuno uniform to really fulfill his dreams

• you're his cute fangirl and he is the handsome libero you have a crush on

• lives for the way your legs look under a skirt, specifically that one

• sometimes just flips it up and nuzzles his nose into your crotch

• when you're not wearing panties though

• you're basically asking for it

• has no problem with fucking you in private

• also loves it when you're in heat

• you two have sex very often but when you're in heat? You're not doing anything but fucking

• also would probably have some fun with triggering your flight instincts while fucking you if he feels mean

[maggielindemanns]

all mixed up - an elu social media au

summary: it’s simple really - eliott meets a guy at the bar, that guy gives him a fake number, and that fake number just so happens to belong to lucas. the rest is history.

[EPILOGUE PART THREE]

[EPILOGUE PT 2 || BONUS]

taglist: @that-one-meh @a-french-disaster @fallout-of-my-chair @menamesniall @iamshannonmcfarland @yesyoutubeisruiningmylife @yackgrace @moschinobra @xomywonderwallox @jacwena @awake-dreamer18 @noritagrace @lost-inside-fantasy @myverybigmoodboard @ariavds @ididntgowithgrace @laurenkmyers @sunshineyou27 @nanidice @orangefizz4 @blanxkey @bodizzy @q-branchminion-nr43 @nova-on-standbi @boysrunaway @anothergayhpblog @mlhalbertt @valenschmidt @skamchokehold @mostlysh1tposting @lucassdemaury @oceanicinception @yellowballoon @fallinglikeafoolforyou @bluronyourradar @painfully-oblivious @alwayskissmeatnight @katzen-kinder @howlingsaturn @luxandobscurus @anotherplaceintheuniverse @aly-kazam @quint-cssential @rynnsama @vlm2002 @grey-mist-exist

[note: putting it up here w everything else bc this one is long so it’ll be under the cut and i am SORRY . this took so long i was not at my home and i have one lil baby bonus thing i wanna post (later), but i just wanna say another thank you to all of you, like...just finishing out the writing process of this universe today really put me through Emotions LMFAO but i really do just wanna thank you guys one last time for every single thing, the support and love i’ve gotten with this au has been nothing short of incredible and heart warming and honestly my whole world like cannot even express how much this au and you all mean to me so . sadly, here i am to do this 🥺 without further ado, the final part for amu, epilogue part 3 🥺💛]

JAN 11TH, 12:32 AM

Eliott couldn’t sleep. It was officially anniversary day, their six month anniversary, and rather than sleeping peacefully in Lucas’ arms, he was watching the slow and steady rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed. Hair was falling onto his forehead and his eyelashes were casting a shadow onto his cheekbones, thanks to the soft white light of the streetlights peeking through the curtains. To Eliott, he looked nothing short of ethereal, but he always thought that about Lucas.

His thoughts were the very reason why he couldn’t sleep, however. School was starting up in a matter of days, graduation was around the corner, and he was yet to hear back from any internships he applied to last week while at his parents’ house with Lucas. The pressures of life to come were hitting him so very hard, and the timing was just not good.

“Why do you think so loud?” Lucas mumbled in that usual sleepy voice, the one that made Eliott want to hold him forever and never let him go. He opened his eyes when Eliott took too long to give an answer, and that made Eliott smile.

“Why do you listen so hard?” he countered, and Lucas tsked at him, starting to smile back.

“You’re an ass.” He reached over and touched Eliott’s face then, thumbing over his cheekbone and his lips. “Pretty though. What’s on your mind, Lartigue?”

“Too much.”

“Talk to me. I got time.”

“Remember all those internships I applied to with you?” he asked. Lucas nodded. “Nothing back so far. Graduation is in a matter of months. My senior year is going to end and I’m probably going to be stuck at the video club if no one gets back to me. I don’t want to stock DVDs and check things in and out forever, I wanna create and live life as a true starving artist.”

“Eli,” he sighed, “you will get something, don’t stress.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Then...you’ll keep trying ‘til you do. And I’ll be with you every step of the way. Even if it takes years and we end up having to use twisty ties as wedding rings and live in your tiny college apartment forever, I’ll still support you and your dream. You deserve it, so.”

Eliott just smiled at him, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of love for the boy laying beside him. Lucas always seemed to know what to say to make him feel better and put a halt to the quick spiraling of his thoughts. His gaze was unwavering and his eyes were bright as he scooted closer to Eliott until they were basically nose to nose.

“I love you,” was all Eliott could think to say. Lucas’ face softened and he kissed Eliott’s nose, feeling like ‘I love you’ back wasn’t sufficient for what he felt for Eliott. Of course, six months didn’t seem like a long time, but to Lucas, it felt like a lifetime of loving Eliott. Of learning everything about him, including what he needs to hear in times like this. And he really did love him more than anything.

“I love you too. More than you know, Demaury. Let’s sleep, yeah?” Eliott nodded at that and Lucas turned over, Eliott snuggling close and pressing a kiss to Lucas’ shoulder.

“Twisty ties,” Eliott whispered, and Lucas simply closed his eyes.

“Shut up.”

•••••

JAN 11TH, 11:54 PM

“This tastes like fizzy glitter water, Eliott,” Lucas laughed, and Eliott laughed even harder, almost spilling his own glass of cheap champagne. They decided to save the drinks for home after spending the night out at dinner so they could come back to Eliott’s together, the rest of their night spent drunk on cheap champagne and wrapped up in each other.

“It is champagne, stop. Glittery because it’s...the shimmers of our love in it.”

“What are you even saying right now?” Lucas asked him, and he shrugged, downing the rest of his glass and pouring another.

“I don’t know, baby. But I do know this - I love you so fucking much, happy six months.”

“À ce soir,” Lucas said, smiling and holding up his glass. Eliott clinked his glass against Lucas’ and they sipped, smiling at each other like goons. Lucas felt warm and happier than ever honestly. Warm, happy, and so very in love.

About an hour after that, it was almost midnight. Lucas felt thoroughly blissed out after being loved on like he just was, still feeling phantom sensations on his hips, thighs, and face where Eliott grabbed on him the most. He shut his eyes for a second, feeling like he still was catching his breath, and he could feel Eliott staring at him without even looking to confirm.

“Why are you staring at me?” Lucas mumbled, and Eliott laughed, shifting next to him and putting his finger on what most likely was some kind of bruise starting to form along his jaw. The thought combined with his touch sent a chill down his spine.

“Because you’re beautiful.”

“You’re corny, be quiet now.”

Eliott chuckled as he shifted some more beside him, laying on his back, and they did indeed sit in a comfortable silence for a bit before either of them said anything.

“Let’s do this forever, Lu,” Eliott spoke quietly. “Maybe you should just move in with me, like...for real.”

Lucas opened his eyes at that, turning his head to find Eliott looking up at his ceiling, blinking slow. He searched his face for any sign of it being a joke at all or if he was going to continue saying anything else, but he didn’t.

“I’ll consider it. Okay?” Eliott started grinning at that and gave him a short nod.

“Okay.”

••••••

JAN 18TH, 6:52 AM

To say Eliott was nervous about today was an understatement. He didn’t have class for another three hours, and yet he couldn’t get himself to go back to sleep now that he was up. He decided to quietly and carefully slip away from Lucas, who was with him more often than not these days, and go take a long shower to just...think.

He’d been standing in the shower for quite some time, how long exactly he wasn’t sure. The plan was to stand here until it got cold or something and try to not look like he’s thinking about everything under the sun before he went back to Lucas in his room.

When he did make it back to his room, a towel around his waist, he saw that Lucas was actually gone. His side of the bed was made up and the only trace that he was even here was the fact that his drawer was slightly open and a t-shirt was half pulled out of it. That, and the note left on the bed, and Eliott grabbed for it as soon as he noticed it, beginning to read.

eli,

i had class at 9:05 and it’s day one, so i didn’t wanna be late. i’m sorry to just leave this note :( i love you though. i know the last few days have been a little hard for you, but take it easy today, okay? you’re brilliant and whatever needs to get done will get done. i know it. don’t stress. make that your mantra or something.

i made toast and eggs, both in the kitchen. eggs might be cold by the time you read this, but still better than the ‘UOD’ you made me way back when.

i love you, and good luck today. <3

-L

p.s. don't go looking for your brown jacket i stole it bc it’s cold <3

Eliott first looked to his closet, seeing that it was indeed open and a hanger was peeking out, as if he ripped the jacket off of it in his rush to go. The thought made Eliott smile, and he grabbed his phone before making his way to the kitchen to eat, his only thoughts now being how much he loved this boy and always would.

•••••••

JUNE 21ST, 4:33 PM

“Just need a height on Demaury and then we’re done,” Sof told them, filling in for Eliott’s wingspan on the cap and gown sheet.

Lucas had been going around him with a tape measure for the last 45 minutes, debating with Sof and Yann about numbers not sounding right. When Sofiane kept asking ‘well, whose best friend is this?’, Lucas always countered with ‘whose boyfriend is this?’ as if that made him more correct than anyone, and Eliott couldn’t help but smile. In the end, they got it done though, and Eliott was now holding the top of the tape measure for Lucas while he brought it to the floor, looking up at him once he got a measurement.

“What?” Eliott asked. “I was 181 centimeters last time I did this, did I shrink?”

“Nope. 183. A whole two centimeters taller.” Lucas stood back up and booped him on the nose, making him roll his eyes.

“Aw, he’s growing so big and strong, how cute,” Yann teased, and Sofiane laughed, shoving his shoulder and telling him to stop. Lucas wound the tape measure back up with the push of a button then, throwing it at Yann after.

“Can’t believe you losers are graduating next month,” Yann mentioned casually. Sofiane and Eliott looked at each other, seeming a bit sad about the idea, and Lucas gave Yann a look that screamed ‘fix it, now’. “But, you know, you guys will be great adults, obviously. You’re great,” he added hesitantly, “I’ll miss you guys.”

“Yann, just stop talking now,” Lucas sighed, making Sofiane laugh. Eliott just smiled, hugging Lucas from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I’ll miss you too, Yann-y boy,” Sofiane teased, pinching his cheek. Yann pushed his hand away, mumbling about hating that Sof called him that.

“Me too,” Eliott agreed before looking at Lucas. “I’d say you too, but I see you all the time.”

“And that won’t change.”

“Ew, please don’t be gross in front of us,” Sofiane groaned, and Eliott started kissing his cheek repeatedly just to be annoying, making Lucas laugh as he accepted the love.

Lucas didn’t say it, but he was going to miss all of this too. And he couldn’t believe he only had not even a month left of this either.

••••••

•••••••

JULY 11TH, 8:46 PM

“Yours looks better than mine,” Lucas pouted, and Eliott looked at him unamused.

“Lucas, this is my degree.”

Lucas flicked paint off his paintbrush at him and Eliott flinched just a little, starting to laugh. They decided to spend the night in for their anniversary, following a Bob Ross tutorial on some of Eliott’s unused canvases together. Some candles were still burning from their candlelit Chinese takeout dinner they shared, and they were using Eliott’s TV to play the tutorial on. It was all fun and games until Lucas looked over and saw that Eliott’s was like a perfect replica of what was onscreen.

“This is my degree,” Lucas mocked, and Eliott gave him a look before pausing the video. Lucas started laughing and leaned over to press a kiss to his bare shoulder. He then looked at him, not saying anything.

“What now?” Eliott asked, feigning exasperation. Lucas dropped his paintbrush into their jar of water and turned to face him, hugging his knees to his chest. “Uh oh, am I in trouble?”

“Why would you be in trouble, no. I just. I considered.”

“Marriage or the moving thing?” Eliott teased, and Lucas smacked his arm gently.

“The moving thing, idiot. You’re not funny.”

“What’s the verdict, Lallemant?”

“I...guess you can call me your roommate. I’ll move in. The answer’s yes.”

Eliott got visibly excited and immediately got up in lieu of giving an actual response, walking away to his room, and Lucas was beyond confused.

“Eli?” he called out, “where are you going? This is the part where you shower me with kisses and you tell me we’re gonna bang on every surface to celebrate!”

“Wait, wait, wait!”

“That was a joke, Eliott.”

He came running back in and sat in front of Lucas once again, putting a small, maroon box in his hands. A spike of panic rose in Lucas, feeling like he knew what this was.

“Eliott, I love you, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be a husband yet…” he told him, his voice gentle. Eliott started laughing right in his face, and Lucas’ whole demeanor changed. “Fuck you, why are you laughing?”

“No, it’s not funny, baby, I’m sorry—“

“It’s not funny, yet you’re laughing at me.”

“No! Lucas, just. Open it, please.”

Lucas was giving him a dirty look as he opened the box, and when he saw what it was, his face softened again.

“This is...this is for here, isn’t it?”

“This is a key for here, yeah. I was gonna bring it up to you later and give it to you as your gift, but you just kind of beat me to it so I’m giving it to you now. If you want a custom one, I’ll get it for you if you hate it, but I just want you to have keys for what is now ours,” Eliott rambled. “Well, it’s always felt like ours to me, but—“

“Eliott,” Lucas interrupted, looking at him. Eliott took a deep breath and Lucas scooted closer to Eliott, kissing him just once before looking in his eyes. “I love you. It’s perfect, everything. Especially you. Thank you.”

“And I love you.”

•••••••

[warrior-of-sunlight]

Someone is telling me I’m lying about the age of my pet chicken and her still laying eggs. Honestly, sometimes I wonder where people their priorities lie when it comes to online discourse. I’m sorry your quick google search doesn’t match practical facts.