#BUT IM FREE I NO LONGER HAVE TO TAKE IT
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Brian bazinga based of that one episode where Sheldon gets sick and travels around using a screen
#clemart#clemspaint#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#mac opsys#prethinker#brian ttcc#my secret is that ive seen basically every episode of the bbt and now im watching it with a buddy#^ seen every one out of order. my parents watch it alot#i get sheldon.#anyways.#macs driving a kart btw#i finished my last exam today#funfact I thought it was originally today but apparently that was for the other section so I actually missed my exam but they#rescheduled it which is really nice but I probably flopped it#its all theoretics with math and its such a pain#BUT IM FREE I NO LONGER HAVE TO TAKE IT#i have so much art i want to work on over break that i might not be able to so take this in the meantime#i alsohave slop doodles that i did at 3am earlier this month but theyre embarrassing and im scared to post them
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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the one who pulls the strings (click for better resolution!)
from adamandi by @melliotwrites,, consider this my pitch to get you all to watch it
#beatrix valeria campbell#adamandi#this image was originally too big to save. but like im so tempted to print out the og as a poster to hide somewhere in my bedroom#anyway!!!! adamandi. im so obsessed. i have particular soft spots for vincent and bea they are my comfort characters i love when they appea#especially together. ''keep your deflections rehearsed''... aaah#shoutout to me being very normal (/sarc) about this in studio and showing it to my friends who were very indulgent with me#and also vastly entertained that i have yet again found another musical to obsess over!! shoutout also to my friend who saw bea and instant#instantly did The Face where its like. disbelieving smile. and then went#'' idk if i love her or if i want to be her''#they're so gender. also on another note the whole asian roots things called out to me with lin!! like#the cutting fruit part in the ambrose entry had me screaming internally. oh my god cut fruit. oh my god ambrose Not Getting It.#anyway vincent's so real for all the biology references. science my beloved (<- i no longer takes bio and thus remember it fondly)#also the way they all only care about specific people-ish. i identify with that selfishness tbh. like it's good all my loved ones are stabl#bc vincent's ''this was all a gift for you''? in a darker universe probably me fr#anyways!!! stunning music and lyrics and bg and plot and costumes and acting!!! i cannot give a more glowing review akjdfhdsjk#so much of this lives rent free in my head. i have snippets of the songs memorised.#also shoutout to the shadows on the official adamandi poster.. the stained glass shadows for quincy and blood for vincent.. insane#now tag ramble about this one! highlights include i have been wanting to paint this for a Week and today i gave myself a Rest Day and got i#like this pose. went insane over it. help. the lighting. the pose. the strings#bea is such. lowkey manipulative girlboss i have so many thoughts.#trying to Not have spoilers here but! i like how the tips of the white strings in this little fanart of mine are a slight bit tinted :33#also i moved the layout of the eye-boards a bit and added in strings of them hanging away. i realise in the original they are on stands.#but call this artistic liberties!! speaking of. for the textures it's photoshop noise filter + old paper + literally to my delight#one of the google images for. and i quote. ''old newspaper 1930 usa student'' that i then blurred out. and it looked so good!!!#journalist bea so beloved. i think i messed up the gloves a bit though :OO but nothing's perfect.#discovered this show on a 2am tumblr scroll and watched it thrice the next day as i did studio#the core message of. ''word to the wise- there's a whole world outside'' i am grasping so tight this exam season
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3l!grian is frequently depicted as a tragic figure and sometimes i wonder if we even watched the same series
#like yes he is tragic. every character in the series is tragic but i think hes easily the least tragic of the winners#(except maybe cleo. i have my own thoughts about how cleos victory plays into her core themes and why its not as joyous or triumphant as#cleo the players and the fandom at large make it seem that i will have to make a real post about at some point)#grian dies Laughing. he smiles and calls it a dual victory before the final fight. his last words are “its been amazing.”#to me Grians arc is about how he came in with this sense of mirth. had it ripled away by the reality when his joke gets Scar killed.#and then rediscovers it as he learns that the horror of their circumstances doesn't need to keep him from delight#plus also ive never seen a man more delighted to explode three of his friends#ill also bring up that Martyns lore has Grian involved in the games explicitly to COMBAT the angst#that Grians inherent silliness and joy makes the players less hopeless as they meet their endings#and theres obviously parts of martyns lore i can take or leave but this is one area where Eyes and Ears lines up very well with what actions#the characters take and so im happy to bring it up#unlike other parts such as “limlife pearl and cleo retained more trauma between seasons than any player has before”#which i do directly refute as it doesn't seem to line up with the way the characters act and the story plays out#thats for another post though#my point here is 3l grian was having the time of his life and i think there are some fanon interpretationd that disregard that#which theyre free to do im definitely someone who has ignored canon plenty of times in the past (glances at worm)#but i think this is the sort of thing that makes the canon more interesting and compelling#anyway. um. rambled longer than i meant to there#grian#trafficblr#3rd life#3rd life smp#3lsmp
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#hot take that doesnt feel that 'hot' if ur kid is going thru one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives#and having to do it TOTALLY alone despite it not at all being a one person job#but thats just circumstance and how the cookie crumbled#and then you offer to come pick them up and drive them home for a week of help and relaxation once the experience is over since that's#all you can offer at the time#its. kinda a fucked up move to then back out when the time comes for said promised r&r#esp when u dont seem to understand [or maybe worse yet you Do but don't care] that ur child CLUNG to and FANTASIZED abt the relief that was#on the horizon for WEEKS of HELL. like 'just a little longer and then I will finally have some help.'#'just a little longer and then I can rest'#'just a few more days and then I can lay low and recoup some expenses and have meals I don't have to solely cook whilst also rehabbing a#sick dog and trying to maintain a home whilst also working full time'#only to get to 'the day' and get a 'its not going to work out after all sorry....we are just so Busy prepping for our travel abroad next#month you know? it would be too Stressful to have a third person in the house'#YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABT STRESS RIGHT NOW????? BE SO FOR REAL----#like if u werent free fine. u dont owe me shit im grown. BUT2 PROMISE IT AND REAFFIRM IT TIME AFTER TIME AND THEN BACK OUT IN THE 11TH HOUR#SERIOUSLY???#I love them but this. fucking Hurts. and I had to pretend it Didnt so as to not make a scene
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thank you loris for serving ur entire purpose of having vi briefly hallucinate vander in ur place
#arcane tag#it's like. making me think a lot about how they got their dad back after being on their own for so long#or well jinx had silco and technically has sevika and now has/had vi to protect her so she wasn't totally on her own beyond#on her own within her trauma#but with vi she hasn't had anyone to protect her since losing vander#she lost her parents time and time again#and then i guess she did end up with cait taking the shot to protect her in s1#and now she does have ppl like loris i guess but getting vander back#and having vander actively protect his daughters again#rly puts into perspective how alone vi is on that level#idk i just dont know if jinx or vi ever got unconditional love from anyone besides vander (and their bio parents probably)#and i guess one another to an extent#there is something to caitvi evolving into this just complicated politics happening around them#im all out of braincells i cried them out idk#also maybe something to jinx no longer wanting to be protected bc she sees what happens when people do look out for her??#so freeing vi of that even though... girl no <3333#maybe that's her way of protecting her but ough
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Pretty much finished 2 more pages of my ihnmaims comic YIPPIEEEE
More 4 pages to go heheh
#prob gonna share another wip this week for it#just a heads up: itll have no color bc otherwise it would take wayyyy longer#but overall im liking how its looking#ihnmaims#puffy talks#kinda had other ideas for other comics but no guarantee itll be done#prob not as like a 14 pages comic at least lmao#i have the obsession with making comics for every fandom im in but i have not as much free time + im a slow artist JDJDJDJDJDJDJX#anyway! really happy so update c:
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🎀🎀🎀
#I miss you all so much I can’t even explaaaain#it’s just been a rough year+ and being able to be on tumblr at all just hasn’t been a thing 🫠#I’m still trying to check discord more cause even if I can’t do tumblr I REALLY miss chatting with you all (and writing and plotting etc)#😮💨 my mom’s dog/our older one just got diagnosed with c*ncer and it’s unclear how much longer we have with him#he’s okay now after surgery but if/when he gets real sick again that’ll probably be time 💔#it’s just that on top of still not finding any consistent work#trying to grow my shop and freelance business#it’s just !!!! a lot !!#but I’m trying to keep it moving trying to be positive and hang into hope✨#I just wanted to say hello! And that I do truly miss you guys and think of you all here often!#feel free to hmu on IM here or discord or even my shop’s IG that I have linked here!#hope you’re all taking care of yourselves and each other ❤️😌🫂#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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whenever i read fics i always end up thinkin of a song for the fic or like, th chapter and then i canr stop associating the fic w/ those songs
#i listen to sm fckn music tht all the songs end up bein wildly diff too#ong i cld make playlists for multi ch fics#*stares at electric rebels*#actually u know what#i will#here r some songs:#our song by matchbox twenty is (early ch) electric rebels treemina coded#butterfly by bts (song is abt the fear of losing a person and in electric rebels this is very much true#everyone has the fear of not only losing their lives but losing their family(+found) as well#time is very much sacred n stuff like that)#humming by turnover (thr lyrics “with you ill make it out alive” sold me on this one)#viva la vida by coldplay specifically for the capital students because of how disillusioned theyve become due to the games#and forming relationships w/ their tribute#really good examples are vipsania and hilarius#rhythm of love by plain white t's makes me think of all the good moments treech n lamina have had despite their circumstances#(its also just a them song in general)#young volcanoes by fall out boy for the tributes!!! it seems light a more lighthearted victory song almost?#a “we will persevere” thing but more full of complete happiness#think abt the scene of teslee mizzen n treech running down the hill in jubilation (obvs before shit went down)#would that i by hozier just makes me think of when treech first met lamina up in the tree#which witch by florence + the machine is definitely for vipsania just before & after the bombing (aspen too but to a lesser degree almost)#“whos a heretic now” “im miles away hes on my mind” yeahhhh#love grows (where my rosemary goes) by edison lighthouse is jst a rlly good treemina song#rousseau by nerina pallot is a good fpr one of the main questions in the fic “are we really born free?”#(no. theyre not they have to work for that freedom. rousseaus main theory specifically the idea of it works really well for this fic#and the hunger games in general)#the promise by when in rome seems to work especially for treech and how he interacts with the others#he always seems to make promises - that theyll live - that he wont leave - that hell take care of the living for the deceased#this ended up sm longer than intended i reached the TAG LIMIT#basil.txt
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If you know someone who is in the job search market, give them a hug.
It’s so hard right now.
You can have the experience, education, proper resume and still either get ghosted, rejected, or led on.
It’s all a game right now.
#I had an interview today where I was told I’d have to go through 4 additional stages of interviews#my next interview is going to be an hour and 45 minutes where I have to basically work for free#you don’t hear back from 99.9% of jobs and when you do you get fucked around and then told no weeks later#I’m so tired of playing this game#I’ve been going through this shit for 6 months. I don’t know how much longer I can take this shit.#starting in Sept im moving to part time work due to my contract ending and when im not worried about that im having to do my job and then#apply for other jobs so that I can find a full time job again#while also trying to learn new skills to be in this competitive job market#and then put all the other shit of life on it#dbsjsjdbdbdjeiwowkabfbfjfjrjr
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Gnawing and crunching and tearing things apart with my teeth thinking about character design (specifically hair) reflecting a characters current emotional state
#shout out to the person who did their school project about Scary Marlowes design and had in depth notes about each stage of her design#i need to find that post again and reblog it 8 million times because its so good and they all feel like scary but the changes are so telling#also im thinking about willy stampler having longer hair throughout s1 of dndads and then it getting really messy when hes trapped in the#demiplane van and him crawling out the window with matted hair and then the next time we see him he has shorter cropped hair as a oh im not#that horrible guy from before but also as a before i was trapped (either in the forgotten realms or in the van) but now i am free and am a l#power you should be scared of#also thinking about jonathan sims having shorter hair throughout s1 and it slowly getting longer and more rattled as he started getting#involved with all the entities stuff and then when they run away to the safe house either he cuts it or he starts taking care of it and#imstead if it being always thrown up and messy its now down for most of s5 so whenever he uses watcher powers his hair can float magical#girl style#anyways if you also have strong opinions about character hairstyle or just character design changing over arcs PLEASE talk to me about it#it so interesting to me
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do you ever like. owe someone an apology but you dont feel sorry because you did everything you were supposed to and nothing more (and they were totally being dicks about it), but you do also feel bad for how things went down
#im sorry i left you at the bus stop when i didnt have gas to take you all the way to your dorm#but the bus is free and i showed you how to use it#the bus stop is on campus so i did what i was suppsoed to do (take you to the field placement and get you back to campus)#even if you didnt like it it WAS on the campus#and i use it all the time so i know you can use it too#i got on the bus and told you you could get on the bus too#but you called someone else to pick you up#i dont understand#is it that youre stubborn or is it that you dont give a shit about my boundaries and what i can and cannot do?#im out of gas and im out of money driving any longer i would be past the point of no return#i needed to get home#& you wanted me to use the last of my gas to get you to a dorm you could have walked to and had public transportation to get you to as well#how fucking inconsiderate do you have to be#yeah i left you at the fucking bus stop#i should have been dropping you off at the bus stop all semester#im sorry i didnt set my boundaries sooner#im sorry you spent all summer on campus and never learned how to use the bus i really wonder how you managed before i got here#but im not sorry for what i did. im just sorry that you didn't have the independence to handle it from there
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fellas im gonna be honest idk how many more 11 hour days i have left in me
#i speak#ugh little vent ahead in the tags#the problem is i need money. which means i need a job all year. but that job is teaching piano and i cant just stop when i get my summer jo#and i actually spend more time at work than i do studying during class terms. so its longer more exhausting days in the summer#like i can plan my study schedule around busy teaching days and evenly distribute the workload. mostly. but work is the same every day#and the thing is currently - not including the commute to my students houses- im really only teaching 4 hours a week. with commute its 6 ma#so i could take more on. and if i want to start saving up for when i move out i kinda do need to do that#but the best option then would be to start teaching on saturdays. spread out the work. and NOT do 9-8 every day of the week#but scheduling things with friends is already hard enough when i have free weekends. and i need the break#but also now im paying my mom rent because shes unemployed and financially irresponsible so i REALLY need the extra money.... ugh#just two more years of this then 5-7 years of low grad school wages and two years of residency then i never need to worry about money#or working more than 8 hour days#ever again!!!!
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My brain has gone back and forth on between which anime if arma or new is my favorite. Cause even with all its issues Arma means a lot to me, it’s the reason I got into getter and helped me through one of the worst times of my life- But then new is objectively better written and it drives me nuts compared to arma it’s not talked about ENOUGH despite all the stuff you can poke at from it’s plot and I’m trying to pinpoint that reason since the general consensus is “no one hates new and it gets a lot of fanart in the Japanese community yet it’s never deeply acknowledged so it feels unpopular”
So my standpoint is “do I keep investing into the popular iteration despite its issues or do I invested into the less flawed unpopular iteration when it comes to introducing getter to new people?” cause man as much as I’m a critical person of media I still can forgive some messy writing if I have a good time with it and can clearly tell the staff had fun making it, which is definitely armas case. (Though they absolutely had fun with new too)
#meg text#getter robo#this general philosophy I have is why im not harshly critical on SVN next to “I think it fulfills it’s purpose”#and a few other mechas I’ve seen but not gonna tag because I don’t wanna put them in their tag when this is just getter#I was tempted to make a post asking about what people don’t find appealing about new but it be on twit and blegh#I’d ask it here and if anyone has input feel FREE to put but my following is way to small to generate the feedback I want#but on Twitter people are dumb and I’m not taking the “new has bad animation” take any longer bc it’s cherry picked#next to “we all know this is better animation then arc LOL” even if that whole debate as stupid#but past that point I’m trying to understand what people don’t like to find new unappealing when it’s flaws aren’t turn offs#like Musashibo not having a proper character arc and the villains not being consistent is a big one but doesn’t make the show bad#especially because there’s still good from those issues being Musashibo still a fun character and the villains don’t ruin the pacing#you could maybe make the argument new starts off slow but also all of the introduction episodes are engaging??#there’s not a single thing about new-let alone getter when it’s paced right-that feels sluggish#Also for a 13 ep show picking up in the middle makes the MOST sense in comparison to a longer ep series#the middle is when shit hits the fan tbh#im gonna be at war until I hear someone’s in depth opinion but I just WANNA figure out what turns off people from new#cause when I also watched it in a group I had irls drop out of it midway through but I could chalk it up to they weren’t huge on mecha#Even if I argue new is the PERFECT mecha show to recommend to someone who’s skeptical of the genre but I digress
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art i did for art fight lately! (characters belong to homaruwa, demoarty and amybugs respectively)
#artfight#artfight2023#art fight#my art#im kinda challenging myself to make a background for every attack ..#it takes way longer but i have a lot of free time lol
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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