#BUT I WISH IT WAS MY COWORKER. GOOD GOD
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auuuauauauagh
#mine#hello everyone. as im sure you know today is valentines day#which is an interesting day. ive found it really useful to track my moods and my personal development from one 2/14 to the next#for many of my teen years i had no valentine and was very upset about that#the last few years i mellowed out (and also had someone about 2 years ago)#this year i feel good. i feel fine#im happy to be single i enjoy all the perks of it i think its lovely#and if you asked me 2 months ago hey do you want to be in a relationship i would have said definitely not#but now.#ok. im not upset that hes not my valentine because he is just a guy and we barely know each other and i still haev a lot to work on before i#can be in a relationship again#BUT I WISH IT WAS MY COWORKER. GOOD GOD#i swear to god every time i see him my crush on him gets stronger#every time he looks at me or talks to me all of my cardiac muscle cells explode and then reform stronger gayer and stupider#i just. I WANT HIM#EHWAUFDFFDHKSFSSLSLA.A..QWI9A8A8A828!!!!!!!!!#I WANT HIM#WHUFGEDGHJ
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I've been rewatching the first two seasons of The Bear so I can watch the third season that just came out and man the character writing in this show makes me froth at the mouth it's like some of the best arcs I've ever seen in a TV series
#little infodump in the tags bc no one I know is watching this show so I need to spill all my thoughts somewhere LOL#Richie is my favorite he makes me go ballistic especially in the episode Forks#just rewatched that episode and it always makes me cry when he has his moment where he finally Gets it#he's such a shit stain of a guy I would probably hate him if I knew him in real life lmfao but as a character he is so fantastically writte#I also really love Marcus but he hasn't had as big of a development as Richie has#Sydney is awesome but she's. so much like me in the way where I cringe at her sometimes LMAO#when she's acting super sarcastic and holier than thou I can't look directly at it it's too much like me when I'm at my worst DHF;LKDFH#god I hope Marcus and Sydney get together they are so cute#unusually good chemistry for a straight ship LOL /hj#I also love Tina but my only complaint with her is that I kinda wish her arc in the first season took a little more time#bc she started off as a real asshole just like all the characters did but she had a much more sudden switch#but I guess it makes sense for her now that I think about it bc she's shown to be a very sweet and compassionate person#it's just that she doesn't trust Sydney at first so once she gets over that then she's sweet with her too#excited to learn more about Ebra he reminds me a lot of an old coworker#also obvs no spoilers for season 3 please I haven't got there yet#lyla's talking again
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My coworker (football bear) was in my department all day and he kept picking up his shirt hem to wipe his sweaty face and his entire fuzzy tummy was out every single time 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 life is full of wonders
#he did it once while talking to me and I almost swallowed my own tongue#q if you're out there i PROMISE that looking away from your tumy wasn't revulsion. i was trying to not pass out and also to remember words.#also tho q if you're out there i don't date coworkers and I don't wish to make you uncomfortable at all#i do think you're very handsome though. if nobody has told you so recently then I'll say it. you're gorgeous. it isn't fair for me to lead#you on in any way#so i won't#hope this doesnt make u uncomfortable buddy you're a good coworker and you communicate what you're doing and you look for whatever needs#help and then you do it. i will be normal about you at work.#anyway phew let's all move past this#except the fact that tummies are cute#tummy hair is a gift from God#and I want this to be a widely held societal belief. too many people are sad about their tummies and it must end.
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The neurodivergent urge to be a little silly.. A little cringefail perhaps.. I will say "yippee" and "bestie" and "okiedokie" unironically!! I will allow myself to enjoy things that are considered weird and/or childish!!! I will instill fear within my coworkers and make them hyperaware of their own mortality for funsies!!! I will do as many hand flappy stims as I want in public and no one can stop me!!!! No more masking I am breaking my chains here and now!!!!!!
#post.txt#no idea what prompted me to make this post but i just needed to get this down somewhere akdhdkshsk#i have work today and i always feel so drained before my shifts whether they're long or short. i wish existing wasn't so hard!!!!#i am too sillie for this..#i am just a little guy i am not built for this stress!!!#i already have to deal with misgendering so by god i am going to be as openly neurodivergent as possible i do not care anymore!!!!#i am going to have fun!!!!#the misgendering is done by customers btw most of my coworkers are p good about using the right pronouns#the coworkers that aren't i typically just don't talk to a bunch so i don't blame em for forgetting or not knowing and idm too terribly#aoshdkdjdkakdj--#i have some p good coworkers and i will be eternally grateful for this
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#soo today I had lunch w my roommate and her coworkers#me and this guy talkd and realized we both watch f1 so we talked about todays quali and the fact that charles was out in q1#and then I said I wish I could see him in an actually competent and consistent team like redbull#guy said oh my god i need to show you something#then he whipped out his phone opened Twitter scrolled scrolled scrolled and then I thought to myself what if… no way….#and then I was looking at that rbr sharl edit I made 😳😳😳#it was one of the most surreal moments of my life#and like obvi I wasn’t gonna say yeah actually I made it so I was just like#oh my god he looks so good in blue...#(guys a merc fan so he’d rather see sharl in merc lol)#anyways#😳#*
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i hate that i can’t even ride the high from my concert because my life is so consistently depressing and hellish lmao 🙃 it’s depressing to come back down to reality after such a good day. like it really makes me realize how joyless my life has become. everything just blurs together
#and i’m just tired of like everything around me feeling like it’s drifting away and becoming more unreachable#like i never even get to finish a conversation with half of my friends because they just forget to respond to me#thank god for sushi and asant consistently replying even when they’re busy lmao#no one else even bothers to really check in now unless i’m in like ACTIVE crisis it really sucks#not even in like a ‘i need people to hear me vent’ way#i just don’t feel important to the majority of the people in my life. at all#or maybe it’s just i feel like i care about and prioritize them a lot more than they do me#like? i had more coworkers text me on my birthday than actual friends#and i fucking hate my birthday so i get it to some degree#but it just hurts my feelings? idk? i feel like such an afterthought all the time to people. like a ghost#and i feel like i’m not interesting or good enough to keep anyone around or hold their attention#my own brother didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. at all lol#are my expectations just too high?#it’s just lonely. i wish i didn’t feel so alone
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I do not understand couples that spend every waking minute fighting and insulting each other and don't trust that the other has their best interests?????? LIKE WHYYYYYY ARE YOU TOGETHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE EACH OTHER HAPPY AND SAFE WHY DO YOU TEAR EACH OTHER DOWN??????
#couldn't be me my wife treats me so good and i want them to succeed in life there my best fuckin friend i enjoy spending time with them#i just don't get it at all unless they're both hot for fighting and distrust#it's exhausting every day there fighting every day they make me play therapist or couples consular every day i look at them and go whhhhyyyy#they break up twice a week get back together again and then break up#they're engaged and have been pregnant at least once they claim twice they are still trying to have a baby#they go through each other's phones insult eaxh other the girl gaslights the dude constantly they hit eaxh other it's just#this isn't love this isn't like i wouldn't talk to my most hated coworker like they talk to each other#god i wish they'd just work on themselves because they're both really awful people
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besties i have an interview tomorrow for a new position that i want so so so bad and i am. QUAKING IN MY BOOTS ABOUT IT FUSKSKFKSKS
#like i feel ready for the interview but also i do not fusjsks#ive talked with 2 people ik in that position already and theyve given me SUCH good advice and tips for the interview#and i talked to both of my supervisors who also gave me good advice#and i have so many answers to so many potential questions in my head but ohhh boy.#(also i told another coworker about the interview& aPPARENTLY HE KNEW IT WAS COMING BC THEY REACHED OUT TO HIM FOR LIKE A REFERENCE LETTER)#(i was SHOOK. but he said he said very good things so im dhsjs 🥺🥺 that is so nice)#but god ive been applying for this position since may#i want this soooo baaaaad ahhhh#i literally cannot focus on anything else gjsjsk#like i tried so hard to do work today but i just. could not. fjdjsk#and my interview isnt until TWO PM so i have the whole morning to stress about it dxhsksksksk#n e ways.#wish me luckkkk#mack rambles
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filled with so much anger at work and can't express it all because i've ranted enough this week about various things
#me going through the work and finding errors my coworker did but i can't rant about it because she sits right behind me#and like i knew this would happen that all the stuff she didn't do or messed up would fall to me and she gets off scot free#meanwhile she's complaining about her work and it's like god i wish i was the one leaving the dept instead#of being stuck with two annoying team leads#and i do feel better about stuff and today one of my fave ppl in the office told me i was doing good work and gave me a thumbs up#and i almost cried again but out of happiness#personal
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this place makes me want to kill myself
#things have been.... incredibly hard on my job#like. harder than it ever was#I don't even have it in me to talk about it because I don't wanna relive it#but that one coworker who hates me just brought it up again to make it worse#and I did SO good on keeping my cool and simply not caring when it happened earlier this week#I guess she saw that and couldn't let me be at peace with something for once#she realized I didn't suffer enough from the situation and decided to give me one last blow about it#which is just bizarre. I wish everyone here would stop acting like children#god I just wanna get out of here so bad#this place makes me want to throw up#I never want to work in an office job again#it's just fucking ruined for me#if I don't pass the latam dynamic I'm just gonna go back to job hunting for grocery store jobs or something#I can't believe this place was so toxic it made me give up my entire plan b career path#rambles*
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Gonna put this under a read more bc it's reeeaaaaally long but heres why I was glad my therapy was today
Okay so today at work I was the ONLY one working in clothing ([relative coworker] was in another area, one coworker was out on leave, and the other has the day off) so I'm doing my section like usual, it's not bad today so I put out the stupid boots and slippers first to clear a pallet. Okay good now the endcaps (which were a MESS). Then I went around the table clockwise to get to the champion table which is hell.
Working on that and it's like 6am when I reach the last stretch before I was gonna recover better (I did a basic job before and I was gonna make it look NICE after everything was out)
So NewBossMan aka BaldBastard comes by and he says to me "hey I need you to stop what you're doing and go do basics, BEFORE you start that"
"Fuck you do it yourself okay yeah."
"Yeah you guys gotta stop this habit of only working in one area." *walks off likely to go polish his bald head with the zamboini*
Well the thing is... that I WASN'T just starting a task I was in the middle of it and was getting a box to stock shit out, and I WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE THERE! Don't fucking act like me working on a near perfect table was me working on a table that didnt need it WHEN IT TOOK ME 2 HOURS TO DO THIS AND THE SHOES!
And like I'm only there til 8am, I'm the ONLY one in clothing til then, and I had 2 more pallets to do, so basics could have waited til 8am. I would have told [relative coworker] to tell one of the girls after me to zone basics before I left for the day you stupid piece of shit. and the kicker... basics wasnt even that fucking bad! It looked normal, it's looked WORSE! You did not have to make me stop what I was doing for that.
And this isnt the first time he made me stop what I was doing and go do basics (it's the third) like just bc I'm the first person you see doesnt mean I have to do everything fucker. You can tell me and I'll tell one of the girls to do it! (Like the one who literally stands around watching tv on her phone... or the one who comes in at 8 who stands around doing NOTHING unless you specifically tell her to do it) but bc I'm the first person you see and you constantly see my in this area doesnt mean I'm not doing anything else
And what REALLY made me mad was that the past idk 2 or 3 weeks my section manager has been complimenting me on how well childrens looks (and how he hasnt seen it look that good in a long time) AND another manager not in our area used MY table to show how everything needs to be high and level. like you're damn right it looks good and you know why?? BC IM GOOD AT WHAT I DO
We all have our own section that we typically go to. Transphobic Coworker usually does mens, BadBack Coworker usually does womens, I do children's and [relative coworker] does sporting attire and whatever else is needed
Like everyone knows not to bother with my area bc I will get it looking perfect before I leave. EVERYONE! and I didnt choose that one bc its easiest, its actually the HARDEST and most dreaded and I only picked it bc when I started no one else would touch it so i did to be productive and out of the way!
Fucker I've been working in that area 2x as long as you've been manager here. You didn't see how bad it was. So get off my ass Mr Clean looking ass
Anyway I was so pissed that i considered putting in my 2 weeks tbh like oh okay so my work isnt appreciated here cool cool great fuck you I'll go work at McDonalds for $3 more bitch
I didnt bc of [relative coworker] and I do like my job for the most part and I take fucking pride in my work
#keep driving your good workers to the ground youll only be left with cockroaches jackass#marquilla#work talk#anyway i was so angry i was crying when i told [relative coworker] like cool so my work just isnt appreciated? cool thanks go fuck yourself#go get your head stuck on a toilet plunger you piece of shit#anyway it was weird how the one lady by the door asked how my shift was when i was leaving bc she never has before#but i was like ''it sucked!'' i just said i dont wanna talk ab it and thank god im leaving rn and wished her a good day lmao#like WELL i was just crying in the bathroom like half an hour ago and my work isnt appreciated and i was working alone as well so...
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PLE
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
#thank you genuinely I wish the 'always be yourself' crowd was more realistic about this#there are some people in your life that you want to have a good opinion of you regardless of whether they know your aUtHeNtIc SeLf#like coworkers#sometimes family members#friends of a friend or friends of a partner#god PLEASE don't meet your best friend's parents with the attitude of 'if they don't like me that's their problem'#my ex had a lot of trouble understanding that the reason I was open with him about being a cringe tumblr user was because#Guy I Went on Two Dates With was not someone whose opinion of me I was super invested in#and not because I was like super proud of it and was okay with him bringing up my fanfic in mixed company
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coworker: and what is it we're supposed to do today?
me: fuckall?
coworker: fucking nothing!!!
#personal#we're just hanging out :)#there is literally no reason for either of us to be here tbh#no one is going to walk in or call except spam lol#like theres such a low chance of getting work today i might as well take a nap#but we have to be here despite the shop allegedly bleeding money#like bro i alone am nearly $150#like dude. this is so dumb#let me work from home#coworker is like what if we moved the shop. bc hes moving and hes like i could do all of this out of my garage#and im like thatd be good youd be working from home#plus new city means new work#and hes like all id need is a designer#and im like im a designer!!! i can work remotely!!! hes like yea exactly so itd work out#god i wish thats what was happening#bc i like working with him and i dont want either of us to leave but. such is life#idk maybe we'll run it past boss (his friend of many years)#i think itd be funny if he said yes and packed up all this shit for a town 4 hrs away lmaoooo#then i could move wherever i want
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oh so the horrors are neverending
#the bin#bye bye 2 days of hello horrible work week :(#i like my job but mostly becaus emy coworkers are p nice. at least the ones who it matters most with#tbh though i wish i worked somewhere more chill. like. my sister can at least relax a little bit at her job some days#i work the entire time..the only time i dont is when theres literally nothing for me to do which doenst happen often besides the end of the#day which means i have to go home early and get less money :/#idk. im trying my best but GOD i wish i werent. im not sure what job i could get that might be easier but one where i could sit down would#be nice i think. unfortunately cashiers arent usually allowed to sit down so thats not a good option. at leastw ith my job im walking#around a lot so i dont get dizzy. well. its fine for now but ill have to change jobs eventually
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TIMELOOP GAMES REAL!??!??!!
hi i made a timeloop game called In Stars and Time and this is a whole post about other timeloop games you can also play.
some i liked. some i loved. some i didnt like. all are worth playing and like also listen the second friends and family heard i was making a timeloop game, i got bombarded with timeloop media recs. so here is a sampler in no particular order! NOTE: knowing some of those games are timeloop games is a spoiler. but. you are here. for timeloop games. so timeloop games you shall have
Outer Wilds
If you need to play one timeloop game, it's this one. Please play it blind. I swear to god you won't regret it. it's timeloops in space!!! it makes you think!!! there are so many "HOLY SHIT WAIT I GET IT NOW" moments!!! please just go play it please please please. some of the best environmental storytelling in a game. so many hints in plain sight. JUST PLAY IT
[way more timeloop games under the cut]
Oxenfree
I didn't actually like Oxenfree very much. But also it stayed in my mind for weeks after I finished playing it. that's how you know it's a good game. I really enjoyed the dialogue system in this, and how much the loop affected the characters. and it got so spooky!!!
Hikeback
i'm in the credits for this one because i was one of the inspirations heehee <3 i loved playing it… short little game about trust, self-sabotage, and never-ending cycles. highly recommend it
The Stanley Parable
Listen babes it absolutely counts. I replayed it a bunch while making ISAT, and I got immensely inspired by the dialogue, and how it catches you off guard sometimes? You get SO SO used to the narrator's "All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" at the start of every game, and then for no reason instead it says "A soft wind blew outside and perhaps rain started, and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather." like WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM GETTING CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
12 minutes
ok i know we all made fun of this game when it came out because the story is batshit insane HOWEVER!!!!!!!! i REALLY REALLY LOVED how doing the same actions multiple times would have slightly different outcomes. If you battle someone, the first time you get knocked out in one hit and the loop restarts. the second time you try, you evade the first hit, but get knocked out. the third time, you last a little bit longer, and a little bit longer, until you can pretty much hold your own against your enemy. And it applies to so many things in this. Retrying different things to see how they would change was a delight.
this game is also so bad its almost good, and if you're interested you HAVE to play it with friends so you can yell about how bad it is together.
Zero Escape
it's just a good series ok. escape rooms, and also time loops! the 3rd game in particular goes deep into The Math of how timeloops would work, which i think is interesting. sometimes timeloop games just go "yeah you can timeloop dont worry about it" and others go "OK HERE'S THE HOW AND WHY IT WORKS" and both are interesting!
START AGAIN: a prologue
this game has almost everything i could wish for in a timeloop game. depression. lines repeating. dying brings you back. you get new levels and skills because you're aware of the loops but your party members don't. so you get overpowered next to them and they Notice. just. party members who dont know about the loops still noticing something is wrong. you are acting differently than yesterday. you look sad. you are acting weird. you know too much. how did you know where the keys were? how did you know this would happen? what's wrong? talk to us. and oh my god this game has a sequel? which will probably have Actually Everything i could wish for in a timeloop game? i can't wait. who made this? (its me i made this)
Ghost Trick
ok its not really time loops and more time travel and only for 4 minutes HOWEVER!!!! you should play it. you know you should play it because everyone says so. so go play it
Elsinore
im sure its a great game but ive never seen/read hamlet. so thats a failing on my part. because. you absolutely need to know hamlet to understand this game lol i did like the whole "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop"! very fun. or it would be. if i. knew. hamlet
The Forgotten City
a friend kept recommending it to me and i didn't like it. its good! just not for me. but if you like to think a lot you should play it. another "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop" game
Gnosia
Gonna be real. I didn't like the story very much, in part because the game lets you choose your gender but still acts like youre a straight dude. HOWEVER the gameplay was very inspiring to me. Every loop is pretty much just an among us meeting, and you have to find out who the imposters are or everyone dies and you loop again. and sometimes you ARE the imposter, so you need to make sure no one finds out. or you loop again. rules get added as time goes on too. i REALLY loved how quickly the loops stacked up. seeing "loop 100" was such a nice moment. ive been here so long! i tried to recreate that somewhat for my own game…
Loop Hero
Technically not a timeloop game, but a loop game. It still absolutely counts because it's about loops and memories, and what are loops and memories together if not a timeloop. You have your little guy going through a closed loop, battling enemies, getting cards, and making the world whole again by using those cards to make forests, towns, lakes come to life. I am famously a Story First Gameplay Second kinda player, but I did play this 45h for the gameplay alone. I learned a lot about battle balancing and randomness by playing this!
You and Me and Her: A Love Story
you know doki doki litterature club? this came before. and one might say. it's. better. in some parts (and i say that as someone who LOVED ddlc!) i won't say much except it's a dating sim but with timeloops. with a lot of what it implies. why are you dating this girl a second time? a third time? a fourth time? choose another one already! it was such a fascinating game to play, and is incredibly meta in the way it talks about dating sims and visual novels. had a lot of very impactful moments however, i played the hentai version. some of the worst, most cringy sex ive ever read and heard. however, one might say the sex is an integral part of the game and its deconstruction of hentai/dating sims…? no. just play the steam version which doesnt have the horrible sex scenes and you will have a great time i think (or play the hentai version. if you like. to watch. horrible sex scenes???)
Higurashi
knowing this is a timeloop game is a massive spoiler. however, this game is more than a decade old, so,,, honestly if you havent played higurashi what are you doing. i know i just spoiled you on it but i was also spoiled on it and i can GUARANTEE YOU that you will still have an amazing time. one more thing. you gotta play with the original sprites or you're a fake fan
I Was a Teenage Exocolonist
starts as a visual novel/management sim/dating sim kinda thing, until you realize that every replay is a new timeline. so the main character can save people, because they remembered about them dying in a previous one. i wish the timeloop would affect the game/story more (let me find a certain character quicker once ive found them in a previous playthrough!!!), but timeloop aside, it's a very fun game to play!!!
that's it! hope you will find a nice timeloop game you like
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💫 Starry-Eyed 💫
Pairing: Porn Star! Spencer Reid x fem! Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge
Summary: For work experience, you take a job working the cameras on a porn shoot, but after becoming suddenly attracted to a new coworker, you shortly find yourself as a fluffer, the person whose job it is to keep the "talent" aroused between takes.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Porn AU, College AU kinda, exhibitionism, oral sex (f receiving), consensual voyeurism, masturbation (male), blow job, deep throating, messy orgasm.
A/N: Well, look at where we are. I think this actually counts as my first Alternate Universe fic, which is crazy all things considered. I'm really enjoying the Kink Bingo Challenge as it's leading me to so many new ideas for fics!! I hope you all enjoy this one 🥰
Masterlist || Bingo Board
Being a college student still at age 25 meant many things, but mostly, it meant you had friends at many different stages of their lives. Some were fresh out of high school halls, enjoying their first taste of freedom, some were enjoying their first drops of alcohol. Some were giving up alcohol for good and starting families.
Some of them were successful porn stars who'd funded their own start-up porn production company. It certainly was one way to use a film degree. You knew a professor or two who would enjoy her work more than half your syllabus as well.
Candi Rapper had become famous doing cam shows in her first year of college and had gone all-in after graduation. You'd shared a few classes in the early days, before you took a break from college for financial reasons, of course. By the time you'd gone back, she was a big time and now in the position to offer you a job.
“One of my crews is down a cameraman this weekend. If you're open to it, I pay a fair wage?” she'd offed at your weekly brunch.
“Will you be the star?” You joked back with her.
“You wish.”
You took the job, of course, along with a ride from Candi (her name was Kate, but you'd let her pretend) and pulled up on site bright and alert at 7am.
The set was a large mansion - typical, Candi said - and you'd be mostly shooting in the living room - typical, Candi said. You'd had to tell her after her second typical that you were, in fact, an adult and had seen at least one porno before until she cut out pornsplaining everything to you. She introduced you to the key staff and the director, and they got you set up at your camera.
“The shoot today is going to be around 5 hours. You'll be on camera three. The papers in front have your cues and directions. You can have some free time until we start. There's a breakfast spread in the kitchen, help yourself.”
Not one to turn down free food, you bee-lined there and stood awkwardly in line for the coffee with the dozen or so other crew members, eyeing up the take-out pancakes organised across the granite surface.
“Your first time?” An older man asked from behind you, smiling in a friendly manner.
“You can tell?”
“You're thinking about eating the pancakes, and the rest of us are remembering the scene filmed there last weekend," as if on queue, a shiver ran down his spine. "Yeah, we can tell.” You laughed along with the man's joke and finally grabbed your coffee.
Luck just wasn't on your side, though, as you turned and immediately ran into someone immediately sloshing the coffee onto your shirt.
“Oh my god, I am so - I'm so sorry, I need to watch where I'm going.”
You'd run into 6’3” of lanky, awkward male perfection. He looked young, your age or younger most likely, and was fidgeting as he stood, the most obviously uncomfortable person in the building.
Your first thought was “Is he lost?” closely followed by “Can I beg him to get lost in a linen closet somewhere with me?”
He grabbed a handful of tissues from the counter nearby and began attempting to wipe away the coffee you'd spilt down yourself, completely unaware that he was fondling your breasts in his haste to do so.
“Slow down there, tiger, shoot doesn't start for another half hour,” you said, winking at him as you took the tissues from his panicked hands and dried yourself as best you could.
“I know, I memorised the call sheet. Who are you?” His question was blunt, but you weren't taken aback at all, your smile even deepening as you enjoyed his subtle attention.
“I'm Y/N. It's my first time.”
He spluttered, coming up with an answer to that, and you immediately cursed yourself for the slip.
“My first time on set, not my- I'm 25. Not that age determines experience per say but-”
“I'm 22. And my name is Spencer,” he said, grasping your hand and shaking it.
“So, it's your first time on set?” He asked, relaxing more into the conversation as he stepped closer to you, letting the other staff members come and go from the kitchen.
“Yeah. My friend offered me the job, you know Candi?”
He nodded but didn't speak, so you continued.
“She thought the experience would be good for me. And the cash. Gotta put myself through college somehow, and it was this or stripping.”
He laughed, and you felt a flash of warmth in your stomach, a familiar hunger spreading across your lower body. Maybe it was just the atmosphere of the set, but the air was charged with arousal.
“Well, you're certainly attractive enough to do both jobs. I'm sure the camera is going to love you,” he said, sounding so genuine and enthusiastic that you almost felt bad you had to correct him.
“Oh! Oh, no, Spencer, I'm not - I'm, uh, I'm going to be behind the camera. Behind camera number two.”
His face instantly flushed, and you thought you saw a pang of disappointment there for a second, too. The thought of him being disappointed made your skin heat, that he'd been looking forward somehow to watching you get fucked? Your cunt throbbed and suddenly, you found you did wish to display yourself, to let everyone see if it meant that he got to.
“I am so sorry. I didn't - I thought… No, I didn't think, I… I'll shut up now, please excuse me-”
“No, Spencer, wait-”
You tried to call after him, but he sent you an embarrassed smile and walked off in haste, leaving you behind as the director called people to their places.
You were still flushed with arousal as you moved to your station, getting your camera ready for filming. You were distracted even as the scene started, and the female actress came on set, already stripped down to her underwear and touching herself, teasing the camera.
Surprisingly, you found the work easy enough, too busy focusing on the settings and the gaze of the camera to even care about what was going on down the lens. She was moaning and writhing and gasping sure, to the benefit of the cameras, and although strangely intimate, nobody in the room seemed bothered, so neither did you.
Or neither did you until the actual scenario started, and your actress got ‘caught’ doing the dirty by the needy boy next door. You hadn't looked at the call sheet closely enough as Spencer peeped through the door to the bedroom, entering the scene not by accident but as a scripted part of the show.
Your eyes bulged out of your head as you immediately looked down to your prompt sheet to find his name there.
LEAD ACTOR: SPENCER REID
His stage name was scribbled next to that, but you paid it no attention as you steadied your camera again and got to filming seriously again.
The actress had pulled his glasses off and led him to the bed, letting him keep on his sweater vest and tie as she pulled his head between her legs, and he started doing his job.
Even from your view to the side of him, you could tell this wasn't his first time doing that. His tongue spread across the expanse of her heat, first, letting her grind into his face, getting comfortable before he snaked a hand up to her stomach and held her in place for as long as he so desired.
Then, he rolled her clit into his mouth and sucked. The fake moans and whimpers suddenly became real as you saw the sheer skill of his tongue ripple through the woman's body.
You couldn't even be jealous at this point, despite how much you sorely wished that were you on the bed. Surely no girl had resorted to porn out of pure horny desire before, right?
After a while of letting her gasp and moan under his tongue, Spencer's fingers curled inside the other woman as well. The director called cut, and he kept his fingers there, even as they walked him through the next few shots, and instructed him to unzip his pants in the next few clips.
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself as the cameras started rolling again, and he did finally free himself from his tight khakis.
You knew you'd probably sign up for whatever was on offer at this company next to see that gift again. Spencer wasn't an impressive size or girth, nothing so alien or out of the ordinary that it only belonged in porn. It was just that his cock looked so… pretty.
He was an inch or two longer than any man you'd ever been with, you were sure, but his cock seemed to have an air of dignity about it.
You had to stop yourself at that thought. Dignity? Really? You were working part-time on a porn set, and there was suddenly dignity involved?
You rolled your shoulders back and tried to find your earlier unbothered attitude. But with his cock in his hands and his face slick with female arousal, you really couldn't bring yourself to think about anything less than his fingers roughly finger-fucking you.
You tried to close your eyes to it, to be blind, but the wet, sticky sounds only distracted you and you found yourself soon swaying, swaying, swaying until you had to catch yourself before the camera dropped.
With a shout of “yes, baby, yes,” the female star came on his face, sending up a furret of fluids as he just kept diligently stroking his cock, only stopping at the director's final yell of “CUT.”
“Perfect guys, let's get her up and drinking water again. You need to stay hydrated after all that,” he joked, a PA walking over to pass the actress a robe and a bottle of water as she walked off set.
You relaxed for a second, trying to find your quickest route out of the room so you wouldn't have to drool over the man's cock so obviously any more.
“FLUFFER? Where's the fluffer?” The director yelled, looking around for someone who obviously wasn't there yet.
“Well?”
Still, no one arrived to do whatever job they needed doing, and you felt desperate for escape.
“New girl, would you mind?” Some crew member called out from the sidelines, nodding at you.
“Oh, uh, sure,” you said, hoping that whatever job you agreed to would get you far enough from this room and the heat between your legs as possible. You were not a prude, and you would not bolt from your very first film shoot.
“Great, get on the bed and keep the boy company,” the director said before exiting the room.
You were absolutely on board with becoming a prude and bolting the scene as fast as your legs could carry you. Unfortunately, eight people still sat around, monitoring equipment and chatting on their breaks, and so you were forced to comply with the task.
“We meet again,” you greeted the man stiffly as you found him on the bed, an apprehensive, tight smile on his own face.
“You don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable, I can keep myself… occupied.”
You noticed then that his hand was still wrapped around his cock, giving it slow strokes, not enough to tip him over the edge, but just enough to maintain the erection.
“So the fluffer….?”
“Prepares the actors for the next scene? I need to stay- let say in shape.”
His face flushed crimson as your gaze slipped down to his cock in his hand.
“So you want me to-”
“NO. No, I usually only talk to the Fluffers. Look at them, you know?”
You nodded and found yourself suddenly going still, watching his face contort with pleasure as his eyes raked over your chest and legs.
You couldn't help but let your eyes dart south again, and fuck did you wish you hadn't. His spare hand fisted the sheets as he stroked himself gently, practically taunting himself with the light touch.
“You do this often?” you asked, trying to pretend you were open to having a normal conversation even while your brain begged you to climb into his lap and sink down as fast as you could.
“You mean maaturbate or the porn thing?”
“Porn.”
“No. No, I come in for a shoot every few months. One of these shoots tends to fund another semester of my PhD, so-”
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were impressed by that admission, but your predominate thought was still “shit, shit, shit, shit.”
“That's impressive,” you said, only catching your words as they tripped out of your mouth. “THE PHD! The PhD, I mean not your… penis? Not that it isn’t appealing, or- or-.”
You tried your hardest to use the most clinical word you could, distancing yourself from the honeyed words you so wanted to drop in his ear to get him to crawl further up the bed and entice him to make his own scene with you.
“Thank you. It's my third,” he said, slightly more relaxed now that you were the flustered one.
“PhD that is. Not cock. I only have one of these.”
“One is enough,” you say, unable to stop the words tumbling out as your eyes again find themselves following each pump of his hand up and down his cock. Inwardly, you curse your friend for starting up her stupid business and paying you to simply exist in the same hemisphere as this man without being able to ride him.
“Do you want to touch it?” He asked, blurting the words out suddenly. As if God had answered your prayers, your heart leapt up into your throat, your pussy clenching around nothing as you shifted your hips closer to him.
You'd thought then that you'd quite enjoy bouncing on that thing yourself, but a handshake would have to do.
“So you have to stay hard, but-”
“But it's best I don't cum, yeah.”
“Okay. Noted.”
Slowly, you reached out a hand and gently wrapped each finger around the tip of his cock. He released himself and wrapped his now free hand around yours, setting the pace for you quickly as he engaged you in conversation again.
“So, where are you from?” He asked, as inept at small talk as you felt in that second.
You answered him without a fuss and returned the question. Las Vegas. That seemed to check out with how easily he'd broken into porn. There was always something happening in that city.
"How'd you get into the business?"
"Well, Vegas, you know. A producer saw a group of... street ladies offer me a freebie and gave me his card."
You went back and forth on questions like that for a few minutes before you noticed he was coughing every few seconds to mask moans and groans, evidently too into this to request you stop.
“Is it okay to…Can I touch you?” He asked, sounding very afraid of rejection at that second.
“Oh, um, yes. That'd only be fair, right?”
He ran a hand up your waist to the curve of your breast and pressed his fingers into one, digging into the skin as though it were a pillow, and he was testing it before he fell head first into it.
Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though.
Temporarily, you let go of him, popping the front buttons of your blouse until he could freely see all of your black and red bra, and feast on the tops of your dusty nipples, peaking out just above each cup.
You heard him inhale sharply, even as he tried to hide it, but you didn't care, too transfixed on the precum decorating his tip.
“Would you mind-” You started, but cut yourself off quickly, biting your lower lip.
“Mind?”
“Can I suck it?”
You didn't know where it came from because there were probably half a dozen other people still in the room, and mostly men. But dear god, he looked delicious, and you wanted just a little sample.
“Fuck yes,” he said, finally giving in and letting out a whole gust of breath as he slumped down a bit further, no longer holding himself rigid. “No, no, actually, please do. I'm begging, I'll beg-”
You cut him off by pushing yourself to your knees and crawling in between his, and seconds later, you were licking the length of his cock from the base of his balls all the way to that precious drop of precum.
Hard, but no cumming. You could do that. You'd never done it before, preferring to fully pleasure sexual partners any chance you got, but there was no time like the present to start learning.
Slowly, you wrapped your lips around his tip and sank down, taking one inch, then another, and then another. When you reached the base of his cock, you pushed that little bit further down, calming yourself and going slowly so you didn't gag, nose pushing into his neat public hair before pulling away just as slowly and doing it again.
You took him as deep down your throat as you could manage, and suddenly, it was like everything that kept your conversation casual and civil earlier had flown out the door. He threw his head back, fisted his hand in your hair, and moaned deep.
The sound shook you so much you almost pushed a hand into your own underwear and started fucking yourself, needing to prepare yourself for him like a good girl.
Around you, you could hear signs of the shoot starting back up again, people finding their places, still all but ignoring you deep-throating a porn star.
Spencer's breaths grew more rapid as you sucked him, hips becoming restless as he tried to lift up into your mouth, hand in your hair tightening as you realised your mistake.
You pulled off his cock and grasped it again, stroking it slowly, but it was too late. With a sharp moan and a twitch of his hips, Spencer so prettily decorated your chin and chest. His cum dripped down your face, hitting your cleavage and pushing further down to stain your nice black laced underwear white.
“Fuck! Sorry, I wasn't meant to do that, let me get some - Can I get a towel please? A baby wipe? Some tissue, anything?” His voice was panicked, but his hand on your head relaxed, and he brushed your hair gently behind your ear, as if comforting you.
He was panicked, for sure, but the crew calmly handed him everything he needed, as if they'd been in anticipation of just this thing happening. You supposed they probably were, this being a porn set. You were sure you were supposed to clean yourself up, but instead, he grabbed a wet tissue, leaving the pack just out of your reach.
He managed to clean your face off a bit before the director returned to the room with a laugh. Running a hand through his hair and messing it up slightly, the director turned back to you.
“We're five minutes out from shoot time,” he said, shaking his head. You started to apologise, but he stopped you with a hand.
“New girl, work whatever magic you just did and get him hard again. Five minutes.”
“W-What?” You spluttered, trying your best to rise from your knees, but ultimately failing. You were either stiff from the position or just weak with arousal.
“He just came, I don't think I can-”
“10 pictures I've done with that kid, and I haven't seen him cum that quickly ever before in my life. And certainly not just for some kitten licks. Do it.”
You turned back to Spencer, his cum still trickling down your chest, creating an almost uncomfortable stiffness as it dried up.
“Pleasure working with you?” You said, not-so-secretly ecstatic that you got to sample him once more.
“I'll be in your care,” he replied, as you begin softly kissing the head of his cock again, tipping his head back again and losing himself in the pleasure or your tongue.
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