#like theres such a low chance of getting work today i might as well take a nap

[avatar-aaang]

coworker: and what is it we're supposed to do today?

me: fuckall?

coworker: fucking nothing!!!

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hi! Don't know if you're doing requests now or if this will interest you but... How about a Bokuto x male reader where Bokuto is usually the top when they do it but the one time he bottoms for the reader, he just can't get enough and started to beg to be fucked all the time. Maybe when they're all alone in the locker room

Its okay if you can't haha

songbird, (nsfw) bokuto x top!male reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: begging, reader is a bottom to begin with, public sex (?) (fucking in a locker room where no ones there), creampie, a tiny bit of overstimulation, degredation if u squint and praise. spit as lubrication, finger sucking.

a/n: i’m writing this at 2 am with like no energy left whatsoever please excuse me if the quality isnt as good as usual and it’s a bit shorter i swear i’m trying my best im not trynna rush requests i just have a lot and theres too many things i need to work on :(

_____

"heh? look at you now kou'...cock dripping precum and i'm not even touching it! how cute~"

"p-please y/n just start moving already i want it so bad…" bokuto whimpered, settled on your cock while you relaxed on the bench. 

"if you say so, my little songbird."

dating bokuto was pretty much a dream of yours. something about his positive and silly personality really made you fall in love with him. you weren't able to confess until second year when your friends pushed you. only to find out the owl looking man had a crush on you too. which explains why he was always more cheery around you than other people, maybe a little too much but you didn't mind. 

your relationship fostered quickly due to the two of you already being friends and on the volleyball team. bokuto couldn't have been more happy, if he was already so ecstatic around you just as friends it's hard to imagine how excited he can be when you too are in a relationship. and as expected, his excitement was very well proven in other ways too. after both of you turned 18 in your third year, bokuto took you home right after drinking with your friends. 

he's been waiting for this since his second year, a few months after you two became official. you were irresistible to him. like the himbo he is, he likes every part of you. your face, your ass, and of course your cock. every part of you excited him to the max. now that both of you are finally legal, he couldn't keep it in his pants any longer. so it was that night, you lost your virginity to the man of your dreams. 

a unspoken rule but bokuto just assumed he was the top in the relationship. you didn't have any complaints about it since he was good with it. his stamina was over the roof for what an average person at his age should be. not only his stamina but also his cock. it makes you feel good everytime no exceptions. you also don't know where he learned it but the tricks he pulled off simply felt heavenly. every movement, every spot he reached and every word he said makes you closer and closer to an orgasm than you already were when you're with him. it's been like that in the bedroom ever since then and neither of you had the thought of changing it, until today. 

you two were doing your usual flirting after the clock after practice. cleaning up the courts together and hanging away the nets. all your other teammates usually just give you an eye roll and leave the gym before you even get the chance to change. leaving the two of you alone, yet again, in the locker rooms. 

"bo' are you hungry? we can grab something on the way back if you are-" your sentence was cut off when the taller male approached you and gave you a hug from behind. 

"hehe, of course i'm hungry~ only for you though," bokuto said with a grin on his face. 

"oh? what are you trying to suggest here?" you said, ruffling with his gray toned hair. 

"well, no one's here anymore and it's just us...so why don't we…" he said reaching down towards your pants. 

"sounds like a good idea to me~" you said, giving him a peck on the lips, making him blush. 

"h-hey, why don't we try something new today! i've been meaning to ask you this-" 

"oh sure what is it w-woah!" 

before you knew it bokuto already dragged your pants down and got on one knee. even a dumbass would know what he's trying to do in this position. 

"well well~ look what we have here." bokuto said with a smirk on his face fiddling with your cock through your underwear. 

you let out a low giggle, getting the clue of what your boyfriend was trying to do. 

"slow down there bo' no need to rush" you said as you removed your underwear too and let held it in your hands in front of bokuto's mouth. 

"go on, this is what you wanted right?"

bokuto was a little startled due to the change of energy from you and gulped a group of spit down his throat. but eagerly, he still began to work on your cock with his mouth. 

he was clumsy with it and you could tell he'd never given a blowjob in his life before. but you gotta admit, his attempt of trying to please you, doing something new like this for the first time was incredibly cute. he struggled a little trying to take in your entire cock and due to his gag reflex not being the best you could hear some gagging noises coming in between your thighs. 

"oh fuck…just like that kou' you're doing so well…" you said, pressing your hand into his hair and slowly adapting a rhythm. 

bokuto's eyes became hazy and you could tell he was getting lost in your cock. you looked down to see his shorts forming a wet spot where his hard cock is. you pulled him away from your cock and leaned back on the bench, leaving him begging for something to fill him. 

"c'mon, big boy, isn't this what you wanted?" 

too lost for words your boyfriend simply climbed on top of you and took off his trousers too, leaving both of your hard cocks exposed. 

"why don't we get started, suck on these fingers with that pretty mouth of yours won't you baby?" you said sitting back up and leaning a bit towards bokuto. 

"y-yes y/n…" bokuto said as he closed his eyes and took two of your fingers into his mouth, gradually taking three. 

"that's it good boy~ but…i think you've had enough of that now." you pulled you fingers out of bokuto's mouth, leaving him yet again empty. 

"lean in on my shoulders ko' that's right...just, like, that" 

you slowly moved your already wet fingers into bokuto's ass, starting with two to loosen him up and moving on to three to further stimulate his pleasure point. 

"a-ah fuck! y/n what is that! i-it feels weird…" he whined as you pressed again and again on his prostate. 

"oh you'll see bo' it'll make you feel so much better in just a minute…" you said pulling out your fingers and pushing bokuto back in a position where you can see him while he rides you. 

"go on, i know you want it inside you~" 

you could tell bokuto was nervous but he gathered the courage to place your hard cock inside him, with a lot of effort of course. he moaned in pain and pleasure as you enter him entirely. waiting for him to settle in, you cup his cheek to tell him how good he's being. 

"heh... look at you now kou...cock dripping precum and i'm not even touching it! how cute~"

"p-please y/n just start moving already i want it so bad…" bokuto whimpered, settled on your cock while you're relaxed on the bench. 

"if you say so, my little songbird."

you began to move, answering his request. slowly of course, you didn't want to hurt him being his first time and all even though you know he likes it rough. as your thrusts became harder and faster you could hear bokuto's painful moans become more pleasurable ones. 

"y-y/n fuck me, oh fuck me it feels so fucking good!" 

"yah baby boy? you like that don't you, such a slut for my cock, filling you like it's the only thing you could think of." 

sooner or later bokuto couldn't hold it in anymore, his pre was leaking a lot more and you could tell he was close. 

"y/n i'm coming oh fuck~" 

"fuck...me too bo'!" you said while cumming inside of your boyfriend. one hand stroking his cumming and already sensitive cock and the other grabbing onto his tight ass. 

needless to say he passed out from the pleasure coming from both his behind and front, leaving you holding him in the mess the both of you made. 

"guess we might have to change some rules in the bedroom now huh?" 

[oh-for-fic-sake]

FUCK OFF!

Masterlist

You and Bruce get to the bottom of your youngests Anxiety fueled Mutism.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst ,Bullying ,Racial bullying? ,Fluff , Humor

A/N: This is a request from @babydork10​ Tried to make this as accurate as I could did have to do a bit of reading up on the topic and hope I have done it justice and you all enjoy xx

Taglist: @125bluemachine125​ @iloveyouyen​ @thefangirlsblog​

You and Bruce looked at one another across the kitchen, you where having a disagreement. Not an argument. Bruce thinks that its time to start helping your youngest with his selective mutism by taking him to the funday fundraiser for the brand new Martha Wayne foundation, a new charity for the underprivileged children of Gotham. It was going to try and build a new school with decent education giving these kids equal opportunities to go to college and university,  to make it out of the...Harsher side of Gotham city. Sure the day was going to be fun for the kids, Bruce had pulled in a small fair ground and one of those ridiculous inflatable playgrounds you how ever think its to soon.

"Look the Drs said its caused by a severe anxiety, fear! I just- I want to help him y/n I don't want my boy to grow up..." he cut him self off and you growled hissing at him.

"Mute? Is that it Bruce? You don't want him to be mute? I mean he can't grow up to be the next Robin if he can't talk right?" He growled voice dropping low and dangerous he slammed his hands down on the counter.

"THAT'S FUCKING!-that was unfair..you know I didn't mean that at all!" You held his gaze not the least bit intimidated you know he would never hurt you deep down. You sighed and leaned back against the counter crossing you arms.

"I-I don't want him to grow up scared...Thought that we could-if it was with other kids he might open up a little" you sighed  rolling your eyes

"Its anxiety based Bruce social anxiety fuck-sure sure lets put our boy our socially anxious little boy into a fucking fairground with hundreds of kids he doesn't know! where there will be cameras and reporters and and-fuck Bruce it will be hell for him there!" He growled

"He will know some of them! Some of his class mates are coming...And you know what!? At least its something god damn it! Its fear he is scared don't you get that! He is frightened to interact! To speak to anyone fuck sake he won't even speak to Damien or Tim! Y/n! And they live here...fucking hell, woman..You know? at least I'm trying!" You flew from the counted to the island he was leaning on pointing at him really pissed now.

"OH WHAT AND I’M FUCKING NOT? COME ON TELL ME? HONESTLY BRUCE YOU THINK I’M NOT TRYING? THAT I DON'T SPEND HOURS UPON HOURS UP AT NIGHT TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I WENT WRONG? THAT-THAT SOMEHOW THIS COULD BE MY FAULT!?" you screamed at him across the kitchen your shout echoing off every surface tears streaming down your face a you shook in anger and despair you were so happy the boys where at school you never ever wanted them to see this back and forth especially Roman.

Bruce shook his head at you and made his way to you he opened his arms holding you softly as you wept into your hands.

"Shh shh I-I'm sorry I didn't mean that its not your fault...its not anyone’s fault...I just I see my boy hurting, he wants to interact to play and make friends and I want to help him but I don’t know how....I was just hoping you know the rides and games would take his mind off of the people around him and he could...I don’t know prove to himself its okay, he can make friends and talk to others...That was all love, I wanted to give him the chance" you whined into his shoulder as he help you cupping the back of your head ruffling your hair you turned placing a kiss on his neck before nodding.

"....Okay, we can-we can give it a shot but don't push him Bruce they said he could grow out of it"

"They also said it can be a confidence thing...Fuck it could be o many things! We-I just want to help him, he is such a sweet funny kid I just want everyone to see what an amazing little boy he is!" You smiled nodding up at him.

"I know you want to show him off, a big proud papa... I do to I- I just worry to much" Bruce wrapped his arms around you holding you tight. He was worried for Romans future you both were, he place a soft kiss on your head rocking you back and forth.

"I know you are worried I am to...But we have to try, the boys will be around watching and Alfred to I just want to give him what he needs but-" you took a deep breath on his cologne then moved to rest your ear over his heart listening to the soothing pulse beneath.

"I-I know its hard not knowing what he needs...As parents its our job but...But with this? Its- your right as uncomfortable as it is for us we need to try for his sake...never know he might make a friend" Bruce took a shaking breath and rubbed your arms encouragingly.

"He might do, we do whats best, we try and that's all we can do...come on lets go let Alfred know we don't need him to babysit"

You moved across your youngest bed room he was looking at you slowly blinking his hazel eyes followed you as you ran around grabbing his new outfit. A pair of dark wash ripped jeans and a loose fitting button up shirt. Hopefully he would be able to climb and play in it.

"Mummy...What are you doing?" You took a deep breath and looked down you dreaded this. You smiled and twisted round sitting on the bed and patted for Roman to sit beside you. He did still looking at you cutely as you handed him his clothes he instantly began pulling on the shirt waiting for your reply.

"Well.. Your father and I....As you know we are having a fundraiser today...And its for your Nana's charity....And we were going to take you with us...Its going to be some much fun! your father pulled out all the stops! Theres going to be a fairground with rides and popcorn and candyfloss and a big inflatable playground-"

"Why?" What? You faltered

"What do you mean love? Why what?" He looked down fiddling with a thread on his 'trendy' ripped jeans that his father hated but you wanted him to fit in today to have the best chance, you leaned in placing a hand to his back rubbing slowly.

"Why are you taking me? Won't I embarrass you?" You frowned and kneeled down before him

"Embarrass- OH Roman no! No you have never ever embarrassed us never- do you hear me? My sweet sweet child! Don't you ever think that for a second...Roman Thomas Wayne you look at me" At his full name he looked up at you blinking away tears sniffling softly.

"B-But I don't talk mummy?! isn't that bad? don't people laugh at you and daddy when you take me out?" you gasped

"Laugh? who? who laughs at you my love?"

"....everyone! At school they laugh! a-and when we go out to dinner and when i go with you to see daddy at the office! I try mummy I do try I promise! I just don't-Can't the other parents have to laugh to!..I don't want to go!" you shook your head trying to fight tears seeing how worked up he was getting panting and panicking...This was a bad idea!

"Roman-Roro listen to me...You are my son! My little boy and you have nothing-nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of and don't you worry about what other people think, they are just jealous...You are my special little man! I love you, We love you so very much and we will protect you your brothers included!"

"Damien he and Tim hate me-I cant even talk to them! I love them and Jason and Dick but I can't- they don't know that!-"

"That is one of the silliest things you've ever said and I don't ever want to hear you say that again Roman" you and Roman gasped seeing Bruce slink into the room silently creeping.

"But Daddy-" Bruce waved a hand at him.

"No buts about it Roman...Your brothers love you to death! all four of them and they always will you here me? you might not say it but they know you love them back....There is nothing to be embarrassed about, today is about having some fun you can play with the other kids or stay with your mother and I its your choice...I hope you have a little fun at least go on some rides!" His face lit up

"Re-really daddy? they love me?" You smiled as Roman peeked at Bruce hopefully

"Of course they do! today I want you to enjoy yourself and eat as much cotton candy as you can! Now enough of all this get your- are you really wearing those?" Roman looked down to the jeans on his lap and nodded then quickly slipped them on slowly getting himself all excited he had one hell of a sweet tooth and you can get much sweeter then cotton candy...You'd be lying if you said you wasn't looking forward to it yourself.

"Okay...I will come and...Mummy? Willl-will there be pictures?" You blinked looking to Bruce this was new.

"Pictures? Like the press you mean?" He nodded

"Uh huh Like uncle Clark and aunt Lois" Bruce and you shared a look frowning why was Roman worried about the press?

"Yeah buddy just a few...Your uncle and aunt wont be there though just some people from Gotham....But after we have a picture of the family then will leave us alone...Don't you worry about them you just have fun tonight!" You had a horrid sinking feeling...why the fuck was your seven year old wary of the fucking paps? What has happened for him to be dubious over photos? Roman have an uneasy look but kept quiet prompting you to ask

"Roman love....Is everything alright? You know if anyone has done anything you can tell your father and I? We can fix it..." he smiled a false smile.

"I'm okay mummy....Can we go now?"you looked incredulously as Bruce but nodded."Sure honey go get your shoes on...the black hi-tops your going to need grip on the rides!" He smiled running down the hall

"Bruce-"

"I know love...I will look into it tonight but I picked upon it to"

The car ride was fairly quiet the tension was thick, you knew both Tim and Damien were wondering about how roman would take this but they chose to keep their comments to themselves. You and Bruce were up front Damien and Tim in the back with Roman snugly tuck in the middle. Damien and Tim were bickering over there younger brothers head. you rolled your eyes at them.

"I'm gonna kick your ass drake!" Tim grumbled

"Whatever you helps you sleep at night hell spawn! mini games are my thing!"

"Fuck you-"

"Damien language! and that's enough both of you- if you start this competitive bullshit today you'll get Jason involved and I don't want to have to deal with your bitching when he kicks both your asses on the shoot a duck!!" you looked back to the three boys. both teens grumbled you frowned.

"Roman are you alright honey? your pale...Is it your tummy?" he nodded and both brothers shared a look over him. Bruce did a quick check in the mirror and took a breath.

"In your bag I'm sure I put some in there" you nodded pulling your bag to your lap and puled out a small bottle of pills, What people didn't realize about Romans condition is there was a whole host of symptoms. Just like adult anxiety there were tummy aches, migraines, diarrhea, sickness, nausea and the most frightening of all was chest pains. you huffed you didn't have a water bottle. Fuck.

"Damien? Tim? you got any water for your brother to take his medicine?" at your request they both quickly routed around in their man bags for a water bottle Tim was first handing it to Roman who took the medicine quickly as always. you smiled to him reassuringly.

"Trust me love...There is nothing to worry over- just a fun day at the fair! okay? Just stick with one of us" Damien nodded

"Yeah you can come play with us! we can beat drake together on the mini games! he can fall to our superior genes!" Roman smiled to Damien warily making the teen smile and ruffle the boys hair.

"ha! as if Roro wants to help me wipe the floor with you! don't you Ro? after all if your as good as you say then you wont need the help!" you rolled your eyes as the two began their bickering again

"oh for fuck sake-" you were stopped by Bruce placing a hand on your thigh nodding subtly to them and you of what he was hinting to. Roman was happy smiling wide looking between his brothers, seemingly happy to be included. you sat back facing forward .

"He will be fine just give him a little space today see where it leads, I've asked the boys to watch the other parents and paps today...I have an idea about something want to confirm it first"

"About what? Roman? what do you think-" you were cut off with a patt on the leg from Bruce and a raised eyebrow.

"Just leave it with me...I will know by the end of the day but...with what he was saying to you i think...well i think he is stressing over what people think of us because of him..just let me do my thing today okay? I'm not the worlds greatest detective for nothing~" you nodded still not understanding fully but you trusted Bruce and the boys they would sort it you hoped.

Finally you arrived Jason and Dick came over giving both you and Bruce hugs and picking up roman making him release a soundless squeal at being spun around. Damien was quick to bitch at them about his tummy ache and snatch him away giving the small boy a piggy back waltzing to the fair muttering about the imbeciles.

Hhow the little boy could doubt any of his brothers  could hate him was beyond you, they each doted on him spoilt him rotten! if mum and dad said no you can guarantee Dick, Jason,Damien or Tim would make it happen. Much to the annoyance of you and Bruce. Once the initial speech was over and Bruce had convinced the wealthy to start digging into their pockets a few family photos were taken. you had noticed a few whispers about Romans appearance and quickly shut up the gossipers with a deadly glare as Roman clung to either you or his dad refusing to go with Damien and Tim to the mini shooting games. You sighed when you finally got a moment to breath away from the cameras who seemed to cling to you and Roman.

It was true you didn't normally have your youngest about, it was common knowledge that he was mute and shy so the paps had been adamant that they got as many photos of the boy as they could,much to your annoyance. you swore as he held you tighter as you moved quickly loosing them in the crowds. you turned a corner and rested a hand on Romans head calming him looking around spotting Bruce who was bombarded by his 'friends' a bunch of puffed up ignorant posh clingy twats! wanting to be seen with the infamous Wayne patriarch. you looked down as Roman tugged your sleeve and pointed, you followed hi gaze to the small cup stack mini game where there was a bunch of kids lining up. you smiled down at him and nodded patting his back.

"Go on then baby, go have fun and don't let anyone ask for money! your father has paid for free reign for everyone okay?" he nodded and walked over to the back of the line. you sighed standing stiff watching him closely you noticed that Dick was also near by watching over his baby brother closely making you feel better.

Roman came to a stop looking up at the nets of huge stuffed animals they had a wide selection he smiled seeing a massive great white shark! it was taller then him! he lined up behind the other kids waiting his turn."Hi!" he turned to around seeing a little girl around his age she was dark skinned with a mass of wild natural hair in two pompoms on her head. Roman gulped looking around seeing if sh could be talking to anyone else and she giggled.

"Yes you! that shark is cool huh?" Roman was unsure what to do he didn't want to be rude but at the same time was out of his comfort zone. he settled for nodding and looked back up at it.

"Oh...your shy huh? that's okay! I'm not...You think that's the size of a real one?" she asked looking to the toy hanging above them as the line moved forward. Roman shook his head at her, he knew they were bigger his uncle Arthur had shown him a real great white shark...His mother had to be dragged off of him by uncle Clark after...even uncle Clark had trouble getting her off him..

Roman shook his head and gulped deciding to try and communicate...this girl looked nice and...he doubted she was going away soon the line was long. he blinked and took a deep breath before releasing trying to calm his heart down and made a move signaling to the toy then made a 'smaller' motion hoping she understood. She looked to him then the toy nodding.

"Yeah! your right its probably to small!! but its cool right? I've been trying to win it all day!...Got the seal though see!!" roman smiled a warm feeling slowly bubbling up she had understood. she held out her seal to him letting him prod it, it was fat and squishy making him smile.

"I'm gonna get that shark!" Roman smirked a little looking back up taking another step to the front as more kids left holding various sized sea life prizes, some looked up longingly to the line of huge sharks on the nets you had to knock all ten cups down five times to get one...

"Oooo look! look a tiger shark!! wow I want that one you think I can?!" Libby go excited bouncing up and down placing her hands on Roman’s shoulders. He turned seeing the one at the back with light blue stripes and nodded then pointed to the octopus on the shelf below

"Wow that's cool to...You gonna go for that one? or jaws~" he tilted his head and pointed to the Great white. Libby smiled standing next to him.

"I'm gonna win the tiger shark today!" Roman's eye widened as he heard a familiar laugh

"Ha like you can get that one! scrawny arms like that! you know I'm gonna get it just so you cant have it move!" Roman frowned as some bullies from his class pushed him and Libby shoving the two of them behind their group cutting the line.

"HEY! YOU CANT DO THAT! I'M TELLING ON YOU!" Roman glared at them standing between the small group and Libby. Micky the leader sneered at him.

"What Wayne got something to say? well come on spit it out! oh wait you can't- Dumbo...Don't even know how to talk~ tell me this your little girlfriend? won't even stand up for her-" Roman growled angrily as two of the boys starting mocking them

"Romans got a little girlfriend! ha! what daddy paying her to be friends with you?!" Libby began whining as they began pulling at her pompoms tugging her curly hair harshly.

"Ew look this is her hair! god its gross and fluffy!" Roman panicked and slapped at the boys hands stopping their attempts but one pushed the smaller girl to the floor out of the line as Libby began crying loudly drawing the attention of the adults around them...More specifically the attention of Romans family.

"FUCK OFF!!!" everyone froze as roman shouted to the boys loud and clear.

You had been watching as a little girl approached Roman with her toy, she seemed nice and unfazed by Romans...Situation and you felt a rush of relief as she continued making conversation with him...well Roman-esque chatter as he began pointing at the toys. You looked away as dick came over to you.

"So? things are going well...Looks like today is working huh Mum?" you smiled nodding looking to your oldest.

"Yes- I was worried but...you know I underestimate your father sometimes especially with roman.." dick smiled slinging an arm around your shoulder kissing your head.

"Do-do you know whats going on your father said something about Roman’s issue? that he as an idea but wouldn't explain more then that" dick hissed through his teeth.

"Not entirely sure myself-" you were both interrupted as you heard a loud crying form where roman was. some kids- boys from Romans class had come over and pushed the little girl down and were pulling her hair as Roman was trying to slap them away then-

"FUCK OFF!" you froze momentarily as Roman screamed at the boys and pushed with all his might making the boy loose balance and fall before crying himself. Roman stood in front of the now whining little girl shielding her from the other mean boys. You made your way over but it was to late some photographers had gotten there first and was surrounding your boy taking photos shouting out at him asking hims to 'say something else' Jason and Bruce had swooped in shoving the men out of his sons face collecting Roman and the little girl; knowing that she would also find herself questioned by the pushy journalists. you followed as Bruce continued to one of the public toilets with roman Jason followed with the little girl.

"Shit- Ro-roman oh god are you okay?" you entered just as Bruce had set him down he was bawling his eyes out panicking and holding his breath. shit shit shit. you noticed the little girl was upset and confused, she hadn't known who roman was.

you moved to crouch beside her.

"Hey poppet...are you okay?" she blinked back tears and pointed to her cut knee.

"Oh no! did those mean boys do that?" she nodded sniffling

"A-And they pulled my h-hair saying it was funny looking!! I-I like my h-hair!!" you frowned and moved to hug her careful of her cut knee.

"Oh shh shh Its okay...your hair is very pretty!" she cried louder

"I-I w-ant my mummy!"

"Whats you mummy's name- Jason can go find her do you remember what she was wearing?" she nodded choking and coughing on her sobs. you concentrated on her as Bruce and Dick helped calm down Roman.

"Joy...she has a blue dress!" you stood up but Jason was out the door returning a few moments later with the little girls mother. She looked to you and nodded thankfully as the little girl ran to her getting picked up still tearful

"Oh god Libby what happened to you? why the tears?"

"T-they were mean to him to- th-they called him names! and and made fun of him! and he tr-tried to stop them from pu-lling my hair! and-and then they p-pushed me down and I cut my knee!!!" you looked to the little girl Libby. Then Bruce who has roman in his arms now calm.

"Roman ..Those boys? they are from your school aren't they?" he nodded and you shared a look with Bruce who was rocking him back and forth still panicked himself wondering if this really was a good idea or not. But to everyone's surprise Roman spoke up in a tiny timid voice

"T-they are mean-Call me dumb....Laugh when I make sounds and laugh...Try to make me talk..Poke me with pens so I make noises" you gasped...He had never said that before...Was that? could this be it? the issues was when he made sounds they made fun and picked on him? Bruce grunted

"How long Ro? how long have they done this?" Roman shrugged and shook his head not answering for a second and Bruce pulled him back and continued in his stern no room for arguments voice

"Roman? how long have they been making fun?" Roman looked down

"Since...forever" you gasped he was being bullied at school...no wonder nothing had gotten better! normally with selective mutism as they grew up safe spaces like home and school were just that safe spaces and he'd talk confidently interact and make friends if he was being hurt at school then obviously the opposite would happen.

Damien and Tim was quiet, this was the most they'd never heard their little brother say before and it was- they were gobsmacked. Bruce sighed and nodded.

"Thank you son for telling me- you were very brave! and I'm very very proud of you...Even if it was a swear word he lifted his gaze to Damien and Tim who both gulped.

"And you were very brave to protect your friend today from those bully's....now you leave the school with me I will deal with them...Or better yet I will let your mother loose on them" as he said that all your sons shivered not wanting to cross paths with you ever they felt sorry for the teacher already. Roman gasped and looked at Bruce

"Pictures-" Bruce cupped his sons head kissing his temple

"Leave it to me- now do you want to stay and play with-" he looked to the now quiet little girl

"L-Libby sir" Bruce smiled to the polite child

"Do you want to stay and play with Libby?" roman looked to Libby who stared hopeful and nodded Bruce put him down letting him stand next to the girl he spoke in a whisper barely being heard now that he wasn't tucking himself into his fathers neck for comfort.

"I-I-I'M Ro-Roman" she smiled at him

"HI roman!! can we?- do you wanna get the sharks? and then sweets-LET GET SWEETS!!"

"Shark's?...." Roman nodded grinning looking up at Tim and Damien as they both interrupted"we will go win you the sharks...and then sweets" they looked to Libby's mother

"We will watch out for them, come on you two" you looked as the Libby looked to her mum who nodded before running over holding Tims hand Roman joined her holding Damien's.

"We will take care of them today mother meet you at the gates at four this afternoon"

"Yes you go have fun mum- I know you like the waltzers leave these two with us" you watched as they made for the exit with the tow youngsters

"Roman come and point out these kids to me and Dami-" you gasped chasing them out

"Oh no you don't!...Timothy! Damien don't you dare! you leave those boys alone! I will sort this out-" you were stopped by Bruce who was making his way out allowing the girls mother to exit first

"Y/n leave them~"

"Bruce they will beat the shit out of those kids-" he laughed winding an arm around your waist.

"No they wont...Scare them but not beat them to many witnesses~" you looked to the other woman and smiled

"Sorry about all this- would you like to get coffee? I'm sure the boys will look after them now....It seems they are on guard duty now~" she smiled and nodded still a little on edge but you were determined to become friends with this women...her little girl has done more good for your son in the last ten minuets then you and your family have managed in the last seven years!

At the end of the day you had become closer to Libby's mother Joy and had invited her over the next day for tea it turns out you and the woman had a lot in common which made things easier. you waited at the gates and laughed as not only were Tim and Dami walking out with huge stuffed animals but Dick and Jason were trailing behind each holding a collection of won prizes. Roman and Libby were both ecstatic each holding a huge shark and a few sealed bags of cotton candy.

"Oh my- Jason I never thought pink was your colour~"

"ha ha! mum real funny not these are for the little miss Libby!" the girl was bouncing on the spot

"Mummy-Mummy look Jason got me the unicorn and the minion and the batman!!! see see look mummy he won them for me! he is really good at the shooting games!!" Joy chuckled and moved around her buzzing child

"Thank you boys...she has been looking forward to this for a long time""Jason's my boyfriend to! see he won me a ring! we are getting married!" you and Bruce chuckled as Jason blushed as the Libby showed her mother the small plastic ring excitedly.

"Ah I see well we should be getting home now...Say bye bye and we will see Roman tomorrow"

"Tomorrow? oh are we coming back!!" you chuckled as she got all excited again

"No but you are coming over tomorrow to play with roman how does that sound?" she gasped and looked to you then her mum ,Roman looked hopeful at you to.

"Really?! can I bring my shark?!" you nodded

"Of course you can bring your shark now, we better get home for dinner...we will see you tomorrow Libby, see you Joy..Jason can you take them to Mrs Mouvins car!" Damien snickered

"Yeah go help your girlfriend~" Jason grunted

"Shes not my fucking-" he was interrupted by Libby coming up and grasping his hand dragging him away.

"Come on Jason! don't get lost!" you couldn't help it you laughed loudly with the boys as Jason flushed bright as the child dragged him to there car. you looked to roman

"So you have a good day?" he nodded then paused looking around blinking taking a deep shaky breath then stuttered out quiet words.

"Y-yes ....was f-fun with Dami and Tim" both of which beamed tugging him into hugs.

"Wait a go buddy!" Tim's said giving him a noogy with the flat of his fist making roman wince and chuckle softly Damien spoke up next pulling him into a tight hug.

"We knew you had it in you! first words of fuck you though? your kick ass"

"Yeah who'd of thunk it?" Tim continued Bruce folded his arms eye Damien again

"Yes I wound where he gets it from? huh Damien? I'm sure he must have heard it around the house isn't that right Damien"

"Oh shit" you smirked as you all began your trek to the car

"Oh shit is right my boy! your doing double drills tonight!"

"Huh that's not fucking fair-"

"Triple"

"What the fuck? Why?"

"Quadruple and for being a bad influence on your brother- I don't know what your laughing Timothy your spotting him to make sure he does it"

"What?! why? what about patrol?!"Tim admonished

"Dick and Jason are going with me and if there is so much as one more word about it you'll be doing it tomorrow night as well!" you snickered as both teens held there breath biting back retorts knowing Bruce wasn't fucking around. You turned peeking through the center console to look as Roman.

"AANYway Roman you don't mind having Libby around tomorrow for a play date do you?" Roman blushed as leaned back as Bruce started the car pulling away, smiling he shook his head. No he didn't mind he liked her a lot.

That was the day that changed everything. Roman had anxiety but it wasn't so much as social it was more over the family image. You learned he had been picked on for not speaking and then picked on to make him talk, then when it did make sounds they bullied him even more for making noise!! the whole vicious cycle had gone unnoticed but after one meeting with you everything was fixed. Roman still didn't speak at school it would take time but he was getting better. All in all he was stressed and anxious little boy terrified of screwing up! he didn't want to say the wrong thing in front of the paparazzi or cameras. He was aware of the family's status and had anxiety over that not necessarily people. All of this fear and stress built up on a seven year olds shoulders resulting in his Mutism. Which was now slowly going away! he spoke freely around the house, some times he stuttered and spoke in whispers but it was much much better.

Damien and Tim both loved hearing there little brother talk after going so long not hearing a peep. Both breaking down in tears when Roman first told them he loved them...Not that either would admit it but you had dealt with the sobbing teens that evening giving both long cuddles in the privacy of their rooms. thing's were looking up and with Libby coming around all the time it could only get better!. it was incredible! when with her it as like roman was free, a normal loud boisterous little boy. You were hopeful for the future especially when Bruce was paying for Libby to start school with Roman next term paying for her full education much to the reluctance of her mother. Joy didn't want to be indebted but you but had when you and Bruce explained what was going on... She couldn't refuse that it was a good idea, Libby would have a much better chance in life, for her daughters sake she agreed. and you hoped it was the next step in prying Roman out of his shell.

[ddaenggtan]

as we go along | myj [m]

pairing | min yoonji x reader

wc | 10.4k

genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.

warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu

a/n |  this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay. 

this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology 

[Today]

Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more. 

As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.

You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest. 

“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start. 

“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”

Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high. 

“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”

“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands. 

“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”

“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap. 

“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”

“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”

“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”

“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”

“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.

She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you. 

It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all. 

Except you. 

Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween. 

She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again. 

“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister. 

“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag. 

“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off. 

“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn. 

A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage. 

The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back. 

The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it. 

Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there. 

Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style. 

The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t. 

“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get. 

“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off. 

“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”

“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”

“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold. 

“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls. 

Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together. 

You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.

But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench. 

Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door. 

“I’m impressed,” Your father says. 

“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”

“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer. 

And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?

“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”

“I’m sorry, I did what. ”

“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”

“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”

Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside. 

You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party. 

Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all. 

You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside. 

[Three Years Ago]

“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you. 

They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself. 

You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off. 

The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets. 

“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so. 

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”

“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can. 

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know. 

“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”

“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath. 

“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”

“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck. 

Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-

“That explains a lot.”

It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation. 

“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”

“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.

“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”

Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest. 

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be. 

Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute. 

“Why not?” 

You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”

Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does. 

“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits. 

“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often. 

[Today]

“No, it needs to be taller.”

“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”

You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”

“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”

“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”

“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically. 

“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.

You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her. 

“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”

You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer. 

Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets. 

The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid. 

“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”

Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer. 

“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”

“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”

“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.   

“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you. 

“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”

“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”

“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”

“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”

You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.

“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”

The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts. 

“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”

“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go. 

You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.

“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”

Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice. 

“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.

“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”

You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise. 

You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.

[Two Years Ago]

It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible. 

You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her. 

It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be. 

Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them. 

“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh. 

“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”

“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”

You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin. 

The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously. 

Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since. 

“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”

“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”

“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns. 

“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”

“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”

Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you. 

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff. 

“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”

“What? No.”

“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”

“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage. 

“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house. 

“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire. 

You do not win the competition that year. 

[Today]

Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.

Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it. 

You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory. 

You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house. 

“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”

Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you. 

The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat. 

It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her. 

“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door. 

“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”

Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside. 

She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go. 

It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain. 

“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin. 

“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?” 

“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”

“What?! ”

“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”

Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look. 

Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.

“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement. 

“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you. 

The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much. 

There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe. 

So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?

[One Year Ago]

“Really? Inflatables?”

You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more. 

“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”

“I didn’t steal your-”

“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving. 

“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!” 

Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji. 

“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended. 

“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.

“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words. 

“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection. 

It does reinforce your own loneliness, though. 

“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute. 

“I do like girls.”

“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger. 

Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other. 

Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes. 

“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look. 

“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”

Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him. 

Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi. 

“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”

“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”

“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction. 

Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.

[Today]

The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else. 

You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says. 

When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model. 

“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually. 

“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”

“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged. 

You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it. 

At least you were. 

“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider. 

“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”

“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like. 

“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”

“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.

“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”

“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”

“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”

“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”

“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”

“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers. 

You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too. 

Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do. 

Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication. 

The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach. 

“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”

You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind. 

“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”

“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends. 

So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight. 

Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.” 

“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”

“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation. 

“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off. 

“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”

“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen. 

“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”

“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”

“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”

“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”

“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”

“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being. 

“You stole my dancing snowman.”

“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”

“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”

“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”

“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape. 

“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”

“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before. 

“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”

“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod. 

Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips. 

Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips. 

“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”

“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects. 

“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought. 

“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate. 

Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?” 

She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question. 

“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed. 

“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”

“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.” 

“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her. 

Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine. 

“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little. 

“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter. 

“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”

Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs. 

Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop. 

Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs. 

“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that. 

“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are. 

And god, she’s beautiful. 

Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new. 

“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face. 

“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head. 

“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”

“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”

Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan. 

She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly. 

Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth. 

You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin. 

“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh. 

“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”

“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”

“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere. 

“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”

You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her. 

Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan. 

Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do. 

You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile. 

“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand. 

“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”

“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets. 

You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl. 

“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you. 

“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”

Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go. 

You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants. 

“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”

“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh. 

“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”

“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”

“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”

“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”

“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”

25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology 

[astrangeraccoon]

BNHA rambles: The quirk apprehension test

.Okay so as I said, this is a special part in my rambles dedicated to the quirk apprehension test in episode 5-6.

-First of all I think Aizawa is smart to do that3. I mean this kids are going to spend the next 3 years of their life training to put their life in danger to save other. This is a huge responsibility (that probably shouldn’t be put on the shoulder of 15-16 year old teens but that neither here nor there), and they need to realise that. They can’t be here to play and they need to be ready to give it their best

-In the same vein the little speach about unfairness and how heroes are the onethat have to try and bring back some fairness is 1) totally true,2) something they need to realise now and t3) add to what I was saying before

-As for the threat of explusion, I would have called it a dirty trick if he hadn’t been 100% serious about it and I also think it caracterise Aizawa teaching methode. He is a really harsh teacher, more likely to use the stick than the carrot. But that because he care about them. Because as he said there’s nothing worst than loosing your dream when your halway ther. Especially since faillure in their line of works mean death.

-Now that doesn’t mean that he could be a little less of a bastard when he announce it.

Now that the general overview is done, lets go over some details:

-Seeing class 1A finding how to use their quirk was pretty impressive.

-Having some insight about how smart Bakugo can be especially about the use of his own quirk was interresting, as was seeing the best performance of some of the other student.

Now onto the negatif:

-Aizawa having it out for Izuku is pretty bad wich I’m going to extand on afterwards.

-Speaking of Izuku, WTF eraserhead? You do not let a 15 year old child continue in what is basiclly a sport competion with a broken finger. You could tell me ‘but hero will have to be able to fight injure’ and I’ll answer that I don’t care. This is the first day of school, you have a medic on site who can heal him in a matter of second meaning you don’t even loose time. I mean even if he wanted for Izuku to have to face the consequences of his action the fact that he would hve been really tired would have been a good enough disadventage.

-I mean really, I know Aizawa doesn’t know about Izuku past or his self sacrifying streak, but by making him continue to do the test injured he’s basically telling him that this is normal, and that he should continue to fight while injured, and this coupled with the bellitling of Iizuku past teacher is just a golden ticket to encourage Izuku self destructive tendancy.

(Yes I’m mad about this)

-Also I know he said he wasn’t going to explain how he marked those score but I would like Aizawa to tell me how he did it. Because it can’t have been just the result because there’s no way Izuku would have been last. I mean my boy Izuku can walk around while carrying All Might (who weight 255kg) and just had ten months of extremely intensive training. Theres no way he scored this low (we only see the best result for most of the test and we know that he was at least a bit faster than Uraraka. So... This results don’t make sence.

-I mean he probably took into account the ways they use their quirk and their creativity (Bc I don’t think Eraser would be one to do a so blatlantly biased test for physical quirk when he himself doesn’t have one). But even tking that into account it’s still pretty clear that he had it out for Izuku because how did Toru even use her quirk? She’s litterally just being invisible. Same with Jirou or kaminari whose quirk cannot have been that usefull.

(On a lighter note, Yaorosu seeing that psychopatic hobo of a teacher that is eraserhead threatening their classes of expulsion and thinking he’s joking, oh my sweet summer child)

Also Aizawa creepy smile at being both surprised and proud of Izuku solution and realising he has potential, I love it

Now onto Aizawa having it out for Izuku and why it is bad

-I’ll start by saying that I understand where Aizawa is comming from. I mean you teach bunch of kids trying to becaume what is basically superpowered soldier who will have to put their live on the line everyday, and then you’re faced with an overpowered kid that visibly doesn’t have any controle over a quirk you hink he had for at least 10 years... Yeah I’d be mad too and if those information had been wright I would have totally agreed with his reaction.

(I would also like to know why he doesn’t know the fact that izuku didn’t have a quirk until like a month ago but that another can of worm that we’re not gonna open today)

-I als get the lecture he gives Izuku because it’s true that he cant go around breaking his limbs, because it WILL make him a liability and highen his chance of getting killed

But his assumption are false and that’s why I think his reaction is bad (I haven’t go farther than episode 7 so some of the reaction I’m talking about are probably more fanon than canon at this point but I’m still going to write them):

-First he’s acting just like every other teacher Izuku ever had, meaning he’s belittling him and his dream, using his quirk against him (which, while it is legal and not harmfull here, is just like we saw at least one of his middle school teacher do), putting him on the spot and tearing into him in front of everyone and while no one laugh here this was the exact same situation he was faced with everyday in school before.

-Let’s add to the quirk usage the fact that it is erasure, so Izuku must have had a moment of pure panic because the quirk he just received, the one that finally made him ‘normal’, just disapeared without notice and that even for a second he must hav wondered if he had become quirkless again before hearing aizawa say it’s his quirk doing it. (quick reminder that up until now they didn’t know who their teacher really was nor did they know his quirk)

-Does anyone think that Izuku is scared of Erasure? O r at least uneasy about it everytime it’s used against him?

-Also he told Izuku that he was basically useless and that he couldn’t be a hero. Which is what everyone told him up to now but it’s even worst because he says that ‘with this power’ he can’t be a hero, which could basically be translated in Izuku’s mind by even with his new quirk, he’s still worthless.

-And while that’s speach hurt Me, it visibly hurt Izuku too. And even if he was able to use it to find a solution that doesn’t mean the hurt is gone.

All of this to says that while it wasn”t Aizawa attention, he just put Izuku right into a copy of the toxic environment he had been raised in. Which probbly mean that he didn’t trust Aizawa at all at least until USJ, (bc everyone know there’s no beter way to show you care than nerly dying to protect them) and was probably really wary of him for a petty long time even afterwards. And by extention he probably felt the same way around every other teacher except for all might which must have made him really skittish and really tensed and it can’t have been the nicest experience.

Which make me wonder if he would have trust any of his teacher without the USJ

(Lets make this worse by sying that he can’t know for sure that Aizawa doesn’t know he used to be quirkless and he treats him that way because of that (we know he doesn’t but anxiety is a bitch and she like to take hold of the most minuscule doubt and make it seems possible)

Okay, that was a lot but, yeah that sum up my thought pretty well on the whole ordeal. See you next part 

Aya’s out!

[jinxthequeergirl]

Dream Come True

Steve harrington x Hopper! Reader (coraline AU)

Summary: escaping your everyday life after you move to live with your father couldn't have been something you wanted more, luckily for you you are given the chance

Warning: swearing, Horror themes like idk It's Coraline i think that speaks for itself no?

So i don't know if im going to end up making this a series or not but hey if this does really well then I might, but just this is so long so i might have to.

~~~~~

In front of you sat a small box with many opportunities, two small glossy black buttons, thread and the promise of freedom...

You watched the rain drops race down the window intently as your father drove you home from the headwear store. you'd only been In Hawkins for only half a month, having to move there with your father after your mom died. And you had only spent the time unpacking, today you had finally convinced your dad to take you to get supplies so you could really make your new rooms more like you.

The car bounced slightly causing your head to lift and hit the window. "Ow!"

"Sorry pot hole..." Hopper said glancing over to you. "You alright?"

"Yea...but guess it takes a while to figure out if you have brain damage or not.." You muttered sitting straight in the car seat, crossing your arms over your chest.

"C'mon don't be that way...you get to redecorate your room..that must be exciting for you? Give you something to do while we wait for the rain to clear up. "I guess..." You perked up at a new idea popping into your head.

"Maybe I can start a garden in the front too? Make it look pretty? I have a garden box so we wouldn't need anything, el can help me too!?" You said almost as a question seeing if he would go along with the idea.

"Sure... Sounds good, just wait till the rain clears up so you aren't bringing mud in." You frowned lightly, ut had been raining for the past three days without any sign of stopping soon. "Yea...sure."

The car came to a slow stop infront of the house. "I'll help you get this stuff inside and make you lunch but I've got to go back to work." You nodded as you got out of the car.

You'd begun by rearanging the few things of furniture in the room,while hopper set to work at making you a lunch. You starting with the dresser dragging it across the room to set it in its new place.

You dusted off your hands and turned your attention to look at the new space you made, stopping once it was caught by something on the wall where the dresser once was.

"Hello..." You slid across the floor and dragged your fingers across the outline of a small door in the wall.

"Hey Dad!?" You yelled getting up to look for him. "Whats up?"

"What this?" You asked now running your finger over the key hole. "Do you have the key!?" You asked hopefully turing to look up at him in the dokr way. He shook his head and shrugged. "I...maybe? I'm not sure...if i did it's probably boared up! They're would be no point."

You rolled your eyes. "Now Food in on the counter your sister is with Mike so make sure to call in about an hour to check on her-"

"Can you please look for a key?" You cut in. He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can, but I'm late so just finish unpacking and setting up and I'll look for it when I come back." You huffed but nodded and started to finish setting up your room.

After about an hour and a half you'd finished painting, unpacking and decorating your room, you had finished. Even had lunch and called El just like hopper had asked. Now you simpily sat in your room staring at the photo of your previous bestfriends that sat on the bedside table.

Back in New York with your mom you never had to worry about being bored, all your friends where their and there where places to go. Hawkins was diffrent, granted you where still adjusting but that didn't make it any less difficult.

The phone rang snapping you of of your thoughts. You hustled across the house to puck it up. "Hello?"

"Y/n! Thank god you picked up! Just the girl I was looking for!"

"Hey Robin,whats up?"

"Not much, I was just wondering since the rains cleared up would you be intrested in taking a tour of Hawkins with me and Steve?"

You thought about it for a moment, The first day you'd mobed here and met everyone they where the two you'd hit it off with, well You did with Robin anyways so you didn't see why you couldn't get out.

"Yea...I'd love to!"

"Cool! We'll be there in a few."

"So what does one do around here?" You asked following beside Robin And Steve down the sidewalk. "Well there's the arcade... " steve started but quickly trailed off. "There are some shops around town." Robin added.

"Is there like, i dunno a mall maybe? A movie theater at least?"

"Movie theater yes, mall not so much."

"It a...it burned down." Steve informed. "Oh...wow..." You followed them through town, going in and out of every store that was open.

"So Steve...." You attempted to start while looking through a clothing Rack in a thrift store.

"Got a girlfriend?"

"Uh no..no ya know I'm kinda just testing the waters...seeing if theres anyone worth dating around here."

"And?" You asked not looking up at him, you could clearly tell he was trying to act cool around you.

"And?" He repeated your question.

"Is there?...anyone worth dating around here?"

"Nah none that are really my type." He said nonchalantly fixing his hair in the mirror across from him. "Wow...are you always this increadibly douchie? Or are you like this just for me?" You asked leaning on clothing rack to look at him better.

"What I'm not...I'm not being-"

"You kinda where Harrington." Robin said from across the store earing a chuckle from you. His face flushed and he pretened to look at a jacket that seemingly caught his attention. "Ah don't be that way stevie...it's sooo charming, I'm practically swooning for you." You said sarcastically. "Shut up!"

The sun was hanging low through the trees casting that late afternoon orange glow upon the three of you as you walked back home.

"This place is...pretty boring...how do you guys manage?"

"Hawkins isn't all bad...besides It's a lot more exciting than you would think." Robin said while offering you some of her candy. "You just gotta...know where to look."

"Sometimes the intresting things find you." Steve said stopping once your house came into view. "If you say so...thanks for showing me around."

"No problem, maybe we can hang out again soon." She offered as you started to continue forward. "Yea! That would be great!" They both waved to you as you stepped into the house shutting the door.

You placed a few of the nick nacks you'd bought onto the top of your dresser for decoration, glancing at something that wasn't there before. A glossy black key.

You plucked it from its spot on the dresser and turned to the small door quickly slidding across the floor once again to get to the door. You hestitantly dragged the key across the outline of the door ripping the wall paper open before slipping the key inside.

It slid in perfectly, giving you some sort of relife as it clicked open, you pulled it open being met with nithing but brick.

"Damn..." You huffed and shut the door and placed the key back ontop of the dresser.

Something yanked you from your sleep suddenly and you lied awake, a sliver of silver moonlight hitting your face through the curtains as you did so.

It was quiet as you lied there except for an ever so faint sound of humming that you just barrely missed. You stayed still fir a second trying to pin point the sound, it continued for a while as you did so softly floating through the air from an unknown source, you finally gave in and tossed the covers off and stood up from your bed moving around the room to find it stopping when your foot hit something on the ground.

"What the hell!?" Jumping back slightly at the contact you looked down seeing a long greyish green vine across your bedroom floor. "What the hell..." You repeared examining it closer you followed it with your gaze seeing it came from the small opening of the little door a slight glow came from it along with little white particals that floated up into the air around it.

You moved carefully over to it kneeling next to it careful to avoide the vine protruding from it, as you did you could hear the humming closer now. You pulled the door open getting a blast of air blown back into your face along with a bright glow. You gasped slightly watching a tunnle appear almost instantly infront of you.

The humming slightly louder now. With out a second thought you climbed through, eventually met with another door which you easily pushed open and found yourself crawling through only to see you'd cralwed back into your bedroom. "Huh?" The humming was louder, unmistakable too, you knew that song. You looked at your bedroom door seeing the light from the living room shining in.

"Dad!?" You stood up and exited the room being greeted by the smell of food cooking. "Dad? What are you do-" you stopped a few feet from the counter seeing him move around the kitchen

"Hey sweet pea! You're just in time for dinner!" You gulped thickly when he turned to face you. "Oh god...I must be mistaken...you aren't my dad...my dad-" it was him but, diffrent. He seemed plaer yet more lively.

"Doesn't cook?" He asked guesturing to the freshly cooked meal. You couldn't help but stumble back a little bit as he approached you with a light hearted laugh. "Well thats because I'm your other father dear! Well better father"

"Other...Father?...wha-"

"Why don't you get your mom and Tell her dinner is ready!"

"Mom?

"Well your Mother of course silly! I actually think she's in the garden out front." He pushed you forward lightly and you glanced back cautiously before going to the front door.

You opened the door and stepped outside being greeted by a beautifully bright garden. "Holy sh-"

"Watch your mouth young lady!" You jumped turning tonthe voice and and gulping.

"Oh my god....mom!?" You stopped and covered your mouth feeling tears briming in your eyes.

"Hello sweet pea!" She opened her arms and you instantly ran to her and hugged her. You could tell just like with your father she was diffrent but couldn't exactly tell whatbwas diffrent.

"You...your alive!"

"Well of course I am! Oh come look at this!"

She pulled away taking your hand and pulling you down the steps of the pourch into the flower filled front yard.

She held your shoulders as you watched the flowers practically bloom before you. "I planted them just this afternoon! Our faviorte!" It was true the flowers before you where always both you and your mothers faviorte.

"They're beautiful mom! Oh!" You turned to her with a smile. "Dad said dinner was ready and sent me to get you."

"Oh! We don't wanna keep him waiting!" She said giggling with you and guiding you back to the house.

"There they are!" Hopper yelled setting the last of the food on the table. "Thirsty?" Your mom asked as you sat down. "Mmm you know I could go for a purple cow!"

"Coming right up!" She knocked on the table lightly the lights above lowered themselves offering you said drink, along with extra grape soda and vanilla icecream just incase.

"Wow thank you!" You said taking the drink and extras. Hopper placed a plate infront of you. "Here comes the Gravey train choochoo!" You mom said earning a laugh from both you and your dad.

A toy train in fact made its way across the table stopping infront of you to dump gravey on your plate.

"Mmh! This is so good!" Youbsaid stuffing your mouth full of food. "More?" Hopper asked.

"No thank you I'm stuffed." You said leaning back and taking a last sip of your icecream float.

Hopper took the plate from you and your mother placed a cake before you that read 'Welcome home'

"Home?"

"We've been expecting you for a while!" Hopper said.

"Wow...uh..really?"

"Of course! You beling here! With your family!"

You smiled lightly.

"Thanks...but It's late...I should go to bed.."

"Oh of course!" You stood up and they both followed you to your bedroom. You crawled into bed and they took turns kissing your forhead and wishing you a goodnight. You slowly drifted off to sleep peacefully.

"It was so weird!" You said throwing a rock into the water infront of you.

"Well it was just a dream, nothing to freak about." Robin shrugged.

"Yea I mean your mom was there it couldn't have been real..."

You and robin both glared at Steve. "I...well thats not what I meant..." He gulped slinging his own rock into the water.

"He's right though." You said softly. "But it just...it felt so real! The food the...feeling! But I woke up and the door was all bricked up again..."

"That's just further proof it was only a dream." Robin said as you sat beside her.

"Yea..." It was already late afternoon and you had decided to stay out until the sun had set well into night.

Steve had dropped robin off at her house and so you sat alone with him in his car as he took you home.

"Sorry about what i said...about your mom..."

He said finally. "No...it's ok...like i said you where right...it's just a dream..." He frowned slightly, you could tell he was beating himself up about it.

In all honestly you hadn't gotten off on the best of feet with him but it's wasn't so awful to be around him, he just had a hard time telling when to open his mouth and when to keep it shut. But you liked him.

"Well here we are." He said pulling up to the house. "Thank." You said with a smile before getting out and going inside.

"Hey kid!" Hopper said happily as you stepped inside.

"Hey!" You smiled. "Oh hey, sorry I never got around to finding that key for you."

"Thats ok I found it"

El stood in the door way with a concerned look. "What are you-" you hurried to your room and pulled the key out and showed him.

"You where right though...there was nothing there." You shrugged going back to your room.

"Bad place." You jumped at El's voice behind you. "What?"

"Don't keep going there it's a bad place..." She said quietly. "What bad place?"

"El! Its Mike's on the phone!" El quickly left to take the phone.

"Bad place?..."

[katedoesntexist]

Stay-at-home journal 2/6/21

Yesterday:

Work, super demoralizing, everything bad

Put together bookshelf

Made omurice bc we're running low on food

Put books away and drank cherry ginger beer

Finished another fic chapter

Played a little guitar

Today:

Clean up kitchen

Kind of just want to chill during the day

Maybe play some zootr

Prob should do some work at night

Start fic epilogue

Free space:

The bookshelf is disappointingly kind of low quality. I knew it would be bc it came from one of the chinese companies that steals photos of the original item and sells you a knock off. But i chanced it bc i guess shelves are just crazy expensive (this "cheap" one was $80), and at least i can return it to the store. The part im most worried about is that the piece of the shelf taking the weight of all the books is only attached by glue and small nails. It could easily just fall apart w enough weight. But i put my books on it anyway and hopefully itll be alright. I like the shape and depth of the shelf bc it fits my small reading room (closet) and also holds a good amount of stuff. I guess if it comes apart we can mod it to fix it. I just ugh didnt want to spend over $100 on this. Maybe i wouldve been better making it myself from scratch.

Speaking of, I've been toying w the idea of buying a jigsaw. Of course the blades would have to be project specific, but might be fun.

Writing is going surprisingly well. Im having fun. Its not a slog. I mean, it is an energy and time drain, but i feel good abt it. The direction these chapters went rly veered away from the outline, but i like that it falls into place better. It makes me feel like theres an alternate reality out there where the outline events did take place. Anyway, i actually cant wait to post and see ppls reactions. I haven't felt this hopeful abt sharing a fan work in like half a yr.

So we finally broke down and looked up one thing in the spoiler log, and it unblocked the game in a way that i could just skip two major dungeons and go to the boss right now. Its kind of idk disappointing? Like, the item weve been trying to get this whole time to unlock a bunch more content is finally in our hands, but we realized we didn't actually need all that other content. Not sure if we should play it just for 100% completion, but big sigh. We're at the end. And i have a rly hard time ending things. Ive spoken abt this before, but its like if i dont finish it will guarantee the characters and events are in a stasis. And they will always be there right where i left them. Forever gearing up to fight the boss, optimism and courage in their heart. I get this way with games and books. I dont want the adventure to end, and its more comforting to me to think that everyone is still out there doing their thing. Stories ending are like death. Not in a bad way bc death is natural and normal. But its still comes w loss.

Had some weird dreams. One was a row of bamboo lockers and some teachers had gone in them unbeknownst to each other, but the one on the end trapped you if you went in bc idk it was supposed to catch a criminal. Another part i was camping and saw a chimpanzee in the trees. I walked out to a railing (i was on some kind of decking) and watched him. He pointed and told me there were wolves in the area, and i was like oh shit thanks. I got in the cab of the truck and closed both doors just in time to avoid the wolves. I rolled down the window and a large bird outside told me there were dead animals on the roof of the truck that attracted the wolves, and I wouldn't be able to leave. There werent keys. I had to warn my dad who had gone out hunting for the day, but he hadnt brought his cell phone bc there wouldn't be reception in the woods.

[the-gay-cryptid]

Okay, I'm super pissed right now and I dont want to bother my friends with this, theyve got shit of their own, I just need to get the angry out of my system.

I want to shave my head. I want to because it would give me a feeling of control and it's the much safer, less permanent, and less painful of my three options: shave head, get piercing, get tattoo. Since whatever I picked would be self done, I naturally went with shaving my head.

I'm no fucking idiot though, I've done my research. I know that, because of my hair type and my own preferences, I dont want it too short. I would first get a #8 attachment, which it the longest you can get. That's what I would use. I looked up a video of someone comparing the lengths of each attachment when actually used on hair, so I have a better idea of what it would actually look like since I'm not good at visualizing lengths.

I was going to tell my mom all this, show her that this isnt a sudden decision, and that I've actually done research and know what to do/expect. It was still entirely possible she'd say no, but this approach was my best chance to convince her.

I told me dad this morning, "I want to shave my head. I think I'd have to order attachments since your clippers are too short, but its definitely doable." I said it this way because I've never had to prove to my dad that I know what I'm doing, like I'm writing a damn research paper.

He wasnt a fan, because he thinks I'll look like a man. He doesnt want me to look too masculine. That's a problem to revisit at a later time. I pointed out that I already look like a boy when I wear hats, my hair grows out fast, and that how he wants me to look isnt my problem. He conceded to all three points, though he still wasnt a fan. He wouldnt stop me, but we both knew I had to convince mom before I even picked up the clippers.

Mom came in, and we said good morning and so on. Then Dad says "she wants to shave her head." Which was the absolute worst possible way to introduce that to my mother.

To her credit, she handled it well. She said she didnt think it would suit my head shape, but if I wanted to I couldn't but if I did it she wasnt going to pay for my hair appointments anymore, even if I grew my hair out again. I wouldnt really mind paying for my own cuts and colors, it's just that it's kinda expensive and I have 10$ and no income until August assuming we're back on campus next semester. I figured I'd think about it.

I took a shower, did makeup, and finished making some earrings I started last night. Then I went to show my parents, because i was proud and I thought they looked cool.

Dad loved them, mom definitely thought they were tacky, but I'm used to that and she's given up trying to convince me that tacky jewelry is bad.

She was making a face that screamed "not a fan", and I asked her why she was making said face. I expected a comment about how people would judge me, and I was totally emotionally prepared for that and ready to let it roll off. But instead, she says

"This doesn't seem like a good use of your time. I just dont feel like enough work is getting done"

I dont know if any of you know this about me, but I'm very sensitive about my work ethic. I've had problems in the past, but I've worked fucking hard to learn the self discipline and time management I have today. It's not perfect, but I'm better than I was. So when people imply that I'm not doing enough, or I'm lazy, or that I'm wasting my time instead of working, I take it a little harder than most.

I didnt linger, because it wouldnt help anyone. I just left and waited in the kitchen to vent to my dad.

"I just wanted to show her something cool." I said. I kept my voice low, because mom has a habit of walking in when I'm venting about her and then getting overly offended and turning it into me being disrespectful. "And she just ignored it-" at which point my dad cut me off. He doesnt like when I complain about mom. He doesnt like the confrontation that occurs if she over hears, and he doesnt like seeing her upset that her kid is implying shes a bad mom. She isnt, but she's not perfect, and as a grown ass woman who lectures me about the same flaw, she should be able to take criticism.

I'm still a bit pissed, so I just grabbed my laptop and went upstairs to do schoolwork. I dont have much to do, since, contrary to my mother's suggestion, I'm very on top of my work, and even ahead on some of it.

Just now, I went down stairs to take a break and grab my house shoes. I talked to my dad a little bit about some netflix shows. Then, because I thought maybe I could sway him a little, I showed him the video of someone comparing all the attachments and how short they actually cut.

I also pointed out that mom wouldve reacted better if hed let me explain what I wanted. He disagreed, so I told him how I'd present the idea:

"I have something I want to do, and I've done a lot of research, so I understand what to do, what I'd need, and how to do it the way I have in mind. I'd like to shave my head, not super short though. I'd use the longest attachment..." et cetera, et cetera.

Basically I'd just prove to her this wasnt decided on a whim. And then I'd ask her opinion. She'd hate it, but at least she'd probably consider it. Even Dad admitted it might have worked.

I started telling him why I wanted to do it, the whole needing to feel in control thing. But he was putting away clothes and heading his and Moms room, and if mom heard me talking through all this she'd get mad and double down on the "fuck no" stance. So I dropped it for now.

But then my dad thought hed be real fucking funny. I was standing in the bathroom with him, and he turned on his clippers and started to reach for my hair. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I knew he was joking, it was just my knee jerk reaction since his clippers have NO attachment and would actually buzz my head completely.

He then said, very smugly, that that's the reaction of someone who doesn't actually want to shave their head. I told him that wasnt funny, and started to explain that I stopped him because it wouldve been the wrong length.

But mom, being in the bedroom right fucking next to us, got PISSED. She then informed us, mainly me, that I wasnt allowed to shave my head, and that she'd be so furious if I did it. And now i was mad with both of my parents.

Since I couldnt be delicate about it anymore, I told her point blank the whole conversation this morning wouldve gone better if dad hadnt said anything, and that I was going to actually explain myself before telling her I wanted to shave my head.

She listened to my whole explanation. I'll give her that. But when I finished, she just hummed and went back to her work. Which is mom for "fuck no, and this is a stupid idea."

As all conversations with my mother inevitably go, I went to the kitchen to talk to dad. I told him he shouldnt have done any of that, and that now, because of him goofing off, mom wasnt taking anything of said seriously.

He told me he was sorry he did that, but that he didn't want me to do it anyway. I reminded him, in far less polite terms than usual, that I dont care what he thinks and that it's my hair and my choice.

He agreed and apologized again, still just as insincere.

Since I didnt have the patience or calmness to try and talk about it further, I went back upstairs. I heard him calling me a little bit ago, probably to talk again, but I'm still fucking angry.

Because of him not only taking away my ability to bring this up with my mom on my own terms, and then ruining any chances of her taking me seriously, theres no way in hell I'm going to be able to do what I wanted. I know shaving my head isnt that big of a deal, but the amount of bullshit its brought out of them both is infuriating.

If he'd just kept his fucking mouth shut this morning, all this could've gone so much better.

[littlebitoffanfic]

Eventually

Fandom: TMNT Characters: Mikey, April Relationship: Mikey/reader Request: Hello! I absolutely love your work! Could you do a tmnt ff where Mikeys s/o is coming over to visit but walks into April and him kissing but what she didn't know was that April had just initiated it and didn't know they were dating. S/o has body and self issues (chubby) says something along the lines of "I knew something like this would happen eventually, I'm not angry, I'm happy you found someone better than me" and runs home hating herself for not being good enough. Mikey follows and comforts you walked towards the lair, a soft smile on your lips. Mikey had called you earlier, saying he really wanted to see you and wanted you to come over. Having been dating in private for about 6 months and things couldn’t be going better. It had been your idea to keep it quite for a while. You didn’t want to be judged by the others, not that they would. Your low body image and self worth issues were a big obstacle in the relationship, but Mikey seemed not to mind. You truly believed he loved you now. He always wanted to see you, to be with you. While overdramatic at times, his want for you allowed you to forget that nagging voice in the back of your mind for just a moment. Of course, that changed when you were alone. But then your phone would ping with a message from Mikey about how he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Slowly but surely, you felt yourself becoming a little more confident. It was only trickles, like sand, but it was building. It wasn’t with everything you did, just when you were with him, but it could lead to so much more. you were incredibly grateful to Mikey, not just for his love but for his support. Hes so use to being the clown, that you thought this might be a challenge for him, but its not. Glancing at your phone, you saw you had made it here in record time as you walked into the living space of the lair. But then your heart stopped. IN the centre of the room, was April standing on her tip toes and pressing her lips against Mikey’s. She had her hands on his shoulders and her body pressed to his. In a moment, you felt everything you had worked towards, everything you loved, shatter into a million pieces. You should have seen this coming, you should have seen it from a mile off. There was no chance that he would chose you over her. Tears streamed silently from your eyes and the only sound that alerted them to another person presents was your phone dropping from your hand and clattering on the floor. Mikey jumped as he pulled back, his eyes moving towards the noise and meeting your stunned and heart broken figure in the door way. Your mouth slightly open and you eyes wide with surprise. April looked at you too, her cheeks lighting up red as she stepped back from Mikey. “[y/n], it aint what-“ Mikey moved quickly towards you, his voice shaking as he left a confused April behind him. You shook your head as you bend down to grab your phone from the floor. You didn’t want a reason to have to come back here. When you stood back up, Mikey was in front of you, his hands on your upper arms. “Its not-“ He stuttered, his eyes giving away something you had never seen in them before. Fear. “Its okay.” Your word took Mikey by surprise as he started at you in confusion. “I knew something like this would happen eventually. Im not angry. Im happy you found someone better than me.” stepping back from him, his hands dropped from you. He sputtered a little, his mind racing as you backed away from him before running out the door. After a moment, you heard him following you but you kept going, making it into the streets before he could catch up. It was raining heavily todays, so it hid your tears from the strangers walking down the side walks who were few and far between. Occasionally you stop to nip into an alley way and sob to yourself when you were unable to hid it properly. April would be better for Mikey. She was smart and funny and incredibly attractive. You were good friends with her, which was something else which had hurt you deeply. But in her defence, she couldn’t have known anything. She had managed to get out of you one time that you were seeing someone but refused ot tell her who. She had never made the connection. eventually, you made it home. Once your door was closed, you collapsed against it, sobbing so hard into your hands that you were barely able to take a breath. Your chest ached, physically and emotionally. You felt sick to your stomach as you realised you had lost two things that meant a lot to you. Your friend, April, who you had grown close to and adored like a sister. And the love of your life, Mikey. You couldn’t stand to see them together, to see him look at her like he use to look at you. To see his arms around her, his lips on hers. you tried to breath, to get some air into your lungs, but you couldn’t. you sat, shaking on the floor of your dark apartment as every negative thought you had ever had come floor back to you, being screamed at you by every voice in your mind. your eyes squeezed shut as your body shook. “[y/n]?” A timid voice from in front of you made you jump. Opening your eyes, you saw Mikey, kneeling in front of you. His eyes were streaming with tear, his bottom lip shaking slightly. “Mikey? W-wh-what-?” you couldn’t even string a sentence together as you tried to figure out why he was here and not with her. “it wasn’t…. I didn’t….” Mikey stuttered, seeming to mirror your inability to speak properly as well. “April, she just kissed me. I didn’t, I didn’t want… I wanted you. Always. She… shes not you and I don’t…. I cant live without you. It was once. Only once. I swear. I didn’t chose her over you. I love you.” Mikey seemed to begging as he spoke, his voice shaking badly as he struggled to breath like you were. “but I saw-“ you tried to say, without having that picture in your mind. But it came back and you noticed something. When Mikey kissed you, his hands were always on you somewhere. He normally liked them to be on your waist or wrapped around you. But in that kiss, his hands were by his side and open, like he had got a fright. “She just kissed me. Once. I swear!” Mikey moved close to you but not touching you, which you were glad of. You didn’t want to be touched right now. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to stay with me if she-“ You tried to reason, not wanting him to think he had to stay with the poor, pathetic girl in front of him if he had a chance with someone else. But he shook his head. “I don’t want her.” He sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks as he spoke. “I told you I loved you. Only you.” “Mikey?” You moved so you were sitting on your knees in front of him. You had never seen him so distressed like this in his life. He was shaking and crying, why? Because he thought he had lost you? “I didn’t realise you thought I would eventually…” Mikey trailed off, his gaze coming up to meet your own. “Most people do. Its fine. I just want you to be happy.” You try to calm him down despite your own appearance being just as bad as his. “Im happy with you. Happier than ive ever been before.” He reaches out, taking your hands in his own shaking ones. “Is there a chance we could… that you would-“ His question was left unfinished when your phone buzzed and April photo and contact came up with a message. She had tried to call you a couple of times on your way back. ‘Im so so so sorry. I didn’t know you and Mikey were together. I would have never done anything if I thought it would hurt you. Nothing more happened. I kissed Mikey, I admit it. But it was a rash decision. I was just feeling lonely. I know it doesn’t excuse what I did, and I never meant to hurt you or to cause any problems between you and him. And I know theres no competition between you and I and Mikey would chose you in a heartbeat. I just thought you had been seeing someone and I saw how happy they made you. I love you - you are like a sister to me. I hope you can forgive me.’ you read the text over again as she confirmed everything Mikey had just said. Placing the phone o the side, you look up at Mikey, who was staring at you. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” He breathed, earning a soft smile from your lips as you looked down. Yes, you were hurt. Yes, it would take a lot to regain the trust that had been broken tonight, but it was malicious on either of their sides. They weren’t doing it to hurt you. April had been desperate for affection which you knew was something she was known to do. Could she even have been jealous of you and your mystery lover. And Mikey had come straight to you, he was begging for you back. Looking back up to him, you knew you couldn’t send him away or reject him. “You can start by ordering a pizza.” You said, your voice still shaking but not nearly as bad as it was. Your response took Mikey off guard as he stared at you for a moment before a smile dawned on his face. You much preferred to see him smiling that upset. you slowly got to your feet, and Mikey followed, even helping you stand when you back ached from the way you had been sitting. Once on your feet, Mikeys eyes dipped to your lips. “is it too soon?” he asked. You shook your head and Mikey dived at the opportunity. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against his front as he ducked down to kiss you, his lips moving against yours in a desperate way. Your hands settled on his shoulders then running up to rest on the back of his neck as he kissed you. He pulled you to the sofa and sat you down. Running to your bedroom, he pulled through the covers. The two of you settle on the sofa, Mikey ordering a pizza with your favour toppings as you chose a movie to watch. This was what you needed. Just time with him. You messaged April back, telling her you would speak to her tomorrow properly but told her things were okay. Once again, you would have to work on trust issues with her as well, but you were willing to do that. Mikey spent the whole night with you in his arms, peppering kisses wherever he could and it made you smile. He refused to leave your side for a few days after that, but his brothers didn’t say anything. You wondered if maybe April had told them what had happened. At least you wouldn’t have to do it yourself then. You knew it was a long road ahead, but with Mikey by your side, you knew you could do it.

[hypmicscenarios]

Chance Meeting (2)

A/N broke it up into three parts but you can read full work on Ao3! 

“Riou, Riou, Riou,”you said outloud,”hes....kind of cute isnt he?”,you said, looking down at dog in your lap who was flipped over, demanding belly rubs. “Aaaaa D/N, I think Im catching feelings. not serious though! I mean, we’ve never even held a conversation but...he is cute...and hot..ahhh!”,you covered your face. No no, it was only proof that he was way out of your league if you continued to list the good things about him. When it came to love, you definitely had the least bit of experience in that area. Besides, your cute dog came into your life and you just sort of got into your own routine. Love had become the last thing on your mind. However, you couldn’t stop yourself from being curious about him. “Well, we saw him yesterday. I say our chances might be low. I have to get ready for work anyway, I have the night shift,”you said towards your dog. You didnt mind the night shifts, but you would rather not have them. Your job was in a pinch though and you were simply too kind to say no. You were a waiter at a restaurant. The only thing that bothered you was coming home down the sketchy streets at night, but you always carried pepper spray with....and maybe a mini knife disguised as a pen. You always made it home safe though....until today. Everything was cleaned up at work and the guests were gone. Your boss offered a ride but you declined, saying your place wasn’t too far. Also you were considering his exhaustion. He was sweet, but you knew the night had been pretty busy and you were understaffed. So, you walked home yourself. You always had your headphones on, looking down at your phone. 5 minutes into your walk, you felt like you heard something, so you stopped and turned around. Seeing a mysterious man, dressed in all black. It just smelled trouble. You walked a bit faster, then faster, eventually you found yourself running as fast as you possibly could until you ran into another person, half afraid it was him, but your terrified eyes disappeared once you saw it was Riou. You bit your lips, trying not to cry and spoke,”t-theres a man chasing me and he-”,before you could finish, Riou walked forward, his hands clenched, waiting for the man to show up. Which, he did. “Sir, you should know not to pick on women or any helpless and innocent being at all,”he said firmly. What happened next made your eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Riou had single-handily taken the guy down, like nothing! Was he a police officer or something? That was way too smooth. You saw him take out his phone, assuming he was calling the cops, then he walked back to you. You quickly bowed,”Thank you so much Busujima-san! really, you saved my life,”you looked up,”how can I repay you?” He shook his head in disagreement,”I used to be a naval officer, my whole job is based on protecting those who cannot protect themselves, so no payment is needed.but you should be more careful at night, do you not read or watch the news?” You bit your lip and looked away,”maybe...not. I suppose I should though. I definitely would have let my boss drive me home,”you said. You now had a frown because you were a bit sad you were so careless. “Im sorry, I really will start doing that from now on but still, thank you again, I really appreciate,”you said, looking up with the small smile you could muster up.  “Come on, I’ll take you home. do not leave my side.”he stated firmly. You nodded and spoke,”u-uh, yea, thanks, sir yes sir,”you said and mentally hit yourself. Really? Sir yes sir? But you were surprised when you heard a chuckle. or...you think you heard a chuckle. It was gone too quickly. Did he laugh at you? Why did he have to keep doing more things each time to pull him to you?

Once you arrived at your doorstep, you bowed your head,”sorry for making you go out of your way to take me back. Please get home safe.” You looked up and you couldn’t believe his next words. “theres no need to worry, I live right there,”he said, pointing to the door next to yours. You were neighbors?! Since when! You could have sworn on your life that no one lived next to you, least of all him. Oh no...and you had screamed so many times. Did he hear that too? Before you could process it, he spoke,”have a goodnight then Y/N-san,”and he left, opening the door to his apartment and shutting it. You quickly went into yours and slid down as you shut the door, your dog greeting you. “No fucking way....”,you said aloud, ignoring the consistent licks on your face.  This was all too much, thank god you had no work tomorrow. 

Change of POV to Rio’s

He closed his door and took off his jacket. What an eventful day. And he did that person seemed so shock he lived next to her? He was already aware of the fact, so why weren’t they. and how could they be so careless? This L/N-san was an interesting person. and their paths seemed to cross a lot. He also needed to get some sleep. First, he had to take a shower though. For the rest of the night though, he couldn’t get L/N out of his head. A bit irritated as to why, he forced himself to sleep sooner than expected.  The next day, he woke up and figured it was cleaning duty. He took out the trash first, opening the door and seeing L/N standing there. Riou blinked as she got scared and dropped her keys. “sorry for the scare,”he said and went to take out his trash. As he went back up to the apartment, he saw L/N and their dog, who went towards Riou. “Hes fine, I dont dislike dogs,”Riou said, bending down and giving him a couple of rubs. “I never asked his name.” he said, while petting him. “Ah, D/N, thats his name,”they responded. “I see, Im done with my pets,”he said as he stood up, looking as they laughed and said,”you dont really have to state that...but thanks, he loves them.” Riou nodded and headed back to his place. That person definitely made fun of him and his way of speaking, but he less upset, and more couldn’t stop thinking about their smile. Why was that? No...he should turn on some music, do his chores, workout, and forget about it. A couple of hours later, he sat down on the couch. His shirt was off and sweat was dripping down his body. Suddenly, his phone rang and he furrowed his brows,”how much?”,he asked. Dice responded over the phone,”how rude! I just miss your cooking, say say can I come over today please??,”he asked. Riou answered,”by all means. so, how much?” Dice chuckled,”okay you win, I’ll message you the amount.”

Once Dice showed up, Riou let him in,”eat first, money second,”he said, blinking as Dice hugged him. “Ri-chan I missed you so muchhh”,he said, moving his head in Riou’s chest. Riou couldn’t take the physical display of affections and took Dice off of him,”thanks, the food is ready.” Dice pouted as he mumbled,”not even an I miss you back.” They sat down at the table and Dice spoke,”soooo, whats going on with Doctor Isolation in these parts? anything new? give me something, you never have anything.” Riou sighed as he ate his food,”I rescued the person who lives next to me from the attacker on the news, will that suffice?”,he said. Dice’s eyes lit up,”Woah! How cool! were they cute?” Riou lowered his eyes,”why is that of any concern? you should just be glad theyre safe.” Dice smirked,”and...do you know their name?” “Yes, why?”,he answered.  “do you think theyre cute?”  “no comment.” 

“you need more friends you know...or even a partner,”Dice said. “I have you, why would I need more?”, Riou asked. Dice frowned,”I make you hang out with me. I want you to have someone you want to hangout with...even though you never make plans with me.” Riou rolled his eyes,”thats because thats you job.” Dice continued to question him about L/N that he eventually kicked the other out...but of course L/N had to be coming back from work. “Dice n-”

“Hey hey! my names Dice! Im this loners friend,”he said as he pointed at Riou,”please take care of him, I’ll leave him in your care,”he turned around,”They are cute by the way, just like you said,”Dice said with a wink, knowing it would it make him mad. He held onto his bag of money and dipped before he was choked,”Buh-bye Ri-chan!~” Riou sighed and looked towards L/N,”sorry...he’s a handful. have a good day.” and then he left. Its not like he could exactly deny what Dice said, then that would just put him in an even stickier situation! He sighed and flopped down on his couch, planning out Dice’s murder in his head.

[cloudbattrolls]

Coward Mont Blanc

Maidel Juzuxt | Present Night | Derevnya | Octavian Musical Arts Studios

Everyone calls it OMAS, or Oh, Masterfully Aimed, Shithead if they’re not fond of Treble. Even if they’re on the list of people who won’t kick him out of a room after ten minutes, they might still toss it off, teasing, but with an edge of bile.

It’s one of the reasons you get along with him, despite how different the two of you are. 

“So!” He says, plucking at his suspenders. “What’s got you in such a sulk, Maidel-girl? Or is it boy today.”

You’re in one of the studio’s dance rooms, one that’s empty at the moment since the next class won’t be for hours. Mirrors cover its walls, and overhead glowworm lamps dot the ceiling, giving off light even as they’re in stasis. Treble can feed, wake, and rearrange them at his will if needed for a choreography practice, as well as brighten them with the right formula. 

Right now they’re giving off a low yellowish glow as they sleep, clinging to the gray ceiling. It bathes your face in a sickly cast, or maybe that’s just your mood as you stare into one of the mirrors, clad in a suit that you look absolutely horrible in.

“Boy.” You say, but there’s not much spirit in it. Gender isn’t very important right now; it’s part of your bigger problem, but only in a small way. 

Sometimes you think it’d be easier if you just had no chest to worry about, and certainly sometimes you hate having to leave off your binder or worry about damage, the kind your psi can’t really repair fully. 

Other times you think rumblespheres at least give people something other to look at than your face or stomach. Not that they’re impressive, but at least it’s something. 

“What’s got you so down in the dumps, Maidel-boy? You nervous? Don’t be nervous, my cool cat! This joint will love you.”

That gets a small snort out of you, mostly because of Treble’s ridiculous speaking manner. It’s been perigees and you still don’t believe he can naturally talk that way, no matter how much he swears up and down he was hatched with it.

You turn a little, looking at yourself from another angle in the mirror, your hair pulled back into a ponytail so everyone can see your face. Great. You put a finger to one cheek, but lightly, to not ruin the makeup covering your freckles.

Treble leans in slightly, his eyebrows raised and ears flicking slightly. His aren’t nearly as mobile as yours, but you know what he’s thinking.

“I look better this way.” You say. “A little. Don’t try to tell me freckles are cute again, I’m not buying it.”

Not much you can do about your face in general. Your hair is okay. then there’s your body.

You’ve always been on the heavier side, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look so stupid on you.

Highbloods being big fits them like a shell on a scuttlebeast. They have the tusks, the intimidation, the big sharp horns to go with it. Their fat doesn’t look like weakness; it only makes them look stronger, heartier, able to dominate.

You’ve been mistaken for blue twice, when you were wearing heavy clothing and goggles against the steam and snow. You were alarmed, then flattered, then a little depressed. 

Treble just clicks his tongue and shakes his head like you’re a silly, mildly disobedient lusus. “Maidel, Maidel, Maidel. Even if you don’t like them, doesn’t mean not a single troll in that joint won’t! You got to be honest about who you are! That’s the only way to make your brand.”

It takes a force of effort to not remind Treble that just because he keeps showing off who he is to the whole world, (despite getting laughed at and kicked out of multiple places) it doesn’t mean you want to go through the same.

That’d be cruel; Treble’s odd, but he’s been kind to you, and it’s hard to hate a troll who isn’t any more good looking than you but so much braver.

Even if sometimes you wish you could. 

“I don’t need a brand.” You mutter. “I just want to sing.”

When you’re finally on the stage, finally manage to forget where you and who you are and what you look like, that makes it all worth it. When you sing, you’re somewhere else, someone else. People have actually clapped for you before, and it wasn’t all just polite applause.

Treble loves to babble about how you could be the next big thing. All you want is to keep feeling that way for the rest of your life, even for little bits at a time. It’s enough.

He pauses, perhaps aware of the usual argument and realizing you don’t want to hear it. He almost chews on his claws, raising two to his mouth but he’s been trying to stop lately and drops them. 

“Maidel.” He says, gentle, which makes the hairs on the back of your neck prick up. “Singing aside, you really want to have this sort of bad juju brewing in you the rest of your natural life, my man?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” You say, trying to be dismissive, but dismissive from you sounds about as believable as a honk from a limeblood and Treble’s face is understandably if irritatingly skeptical. 

“‘Course it matters! You telling me you’re okay just going ‘aw, nuts, I hate how I look’ for all your sweeps? You gotta change yourself, or - ”

“ - change your bulbs, yes.” You sound a bit more testy than you’d like, but he’s told you this about ten times before.

“I tried to diet and exercise for a whole perigee, Treble. Aside from making me miserable, it barely did anything. I lost three pounds. Three pounds in that whole time! I don’t know what’s wrong with my stupid, garbage, messed up - ”

“Whoa! You really want to hate yourself that bad, man?”

You realize you’re breathing hard, eyes wide and - in the mirror - you see a hint of orange in them. 

Groaning, you cover your face with a soft palm, dragging your fingers through your curls.

“Olives are supposed to be lithe and muscular. Or else average looking, since everybody likes to say we’re the most boring caste.” You say, bitter. “Even being average like you would be better. Nobody thinks you’re ugly. They just think you’re normal.”

Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t care right now.

Treble plucks at his tie thoughtfully, but you can see a trace of pain in his eyes that wrenches your digestion sac. You’ll apologize to him later.

“Do people really tell you you’re ugly, Maidel-boy?” He says, curious. 

You snort. In a way, that’d almost be better.

“Hardly ever.” You admit, and he opens his mouth but you wave a finger and press on. “They don’t have to! They don’t even notice me, good or bad, compared to everyone else I know. They’re all pretty. None of them would ever consider a troll like me to be an option in any quadrant.”

You sound pathetic, even to yourself. It’s not like you expect the trolls you know to date you, or that you’d particularly want to date them in the first place. 

It’s how you’ve seen Riccin flirt, seen Pheres flirt, seen them have quadrants. Have people interested in them. Seen them know they’re beautiful, that they can get trolls just by being themselves.

Must be nice.

“So...what brought all this up from its deep dark spot, huh?”

You look at him blankly.

“Usually you’re a little down in the dumps, but not fit to yowl about it.”

You flush slightly. You guess you did raise your voice more than you meant to. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, throat tight. You shouldn’t even be talking to Treble about this. He has a moirail, a teal who works at one of the universities. You have no idea why he takes so much time with you to start with.

Especially if this is how you treat him.

You’d rather dive out the window than answer, but you owe him that much.

“I have an ash crush.” You admit, and it feels like a dirty word, a curse. Maybe it is. You have to be cursed if you’re stupid enough to have feelings for Riccin, who’s practically a clown, and who’s never cared about you.

Maybe it’s some messed up form of self-harm.

Treble looks puzzled, and for good reason.

“So why’re you all torn up about how you look?” 

Ash isn’t about that, is the clear implication. You almost laugh. If only he knew.

“Riccin wants pretty trolls in every quadrant.” You say, staring into the mirror at the disappointing image with a suit on a too-round figure. “Their kismesis and their ex ash are both little, skinny trolls, with pretty faces. And they’re close with Pheres, and he’s the same.”

Then there’s you, who’s as heavy as any two of them, not to mention that they think you’re dull as ditchwater. Even if you wanted to pursue this - if you were so blindingly stupid - how could you prove them wrong? You’d wear yourself out trying.

Not to mention that Vide would probably cull you. She seems like she’s still interested in them, and for all you know they might still be interested in her too. Riccin doesn’t give up easily.

“I think you’re feeling a bit too sorry for yourself, Maidel-boy.”

You glare at him, then sigh. He chuckles.

“So you got a hopeless crush. Happens to us all. Why let it mess your groove up so much, man? If there’s no worth wondering if you can, put your bulbs into what you are good at! Which is: belting out the tunes and making us both a little cash, hm?”

You snort. With Treble it all comes back to money or fame. Given how hard he works for it, you can’t blame him too much. The chances of an olive making it big - or even being an agent for anyone who does - are minimal. Somehow he still tries, still teaches and manages and performs, no matter who mocks him, no matter how many times he gets chased off.

“Okay.” You say. “Let’s go.”

[patriotsnet]

Are There Any Republicans Running For President Other Than Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-there-any-republicans-running-for-president-other-than-trump/

Are There Any Republicans Running For President Other Than Trump

Republican Presidential Hopefuls Move Forward As Trump Considers 2024 Run

2020 Election – 5 Republicans Who Might Run For President (Why Donald Trump will be the GOP Nominee)

Print

Less than three months after former President Trump left the White House, the race to succeed him is already beginning.

Trumps former secretary of State, Michael R. Pompeo, has launched an aggressive schedule visiting states that will play a pivotal role in the 2024 Republican primaries and has signed a contract with Fox News Channel. Mike Pence, Trumps former vice president, has started a political advocacy group, finalized a book deal and later this month will give a speech in South Carolina, his first since leaving office. And Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has been courting donors, including in Trumps backyard, with a prominent speaking slot before the former president at a GOP fundraising retreat dinner this month at Mar-a-Lago, the Florida resort where Trump now lives.

Trump ended his presidency with such a firm grip on Republican voters that party leaders fretted he would freeze the field of potential 2024 candidates, delaying preparations as he teased another run. Instead, many Republicans with national ambitions are openly laying the groundwork for campaigns as Trump continues to mull his own plans.

Theyre raising money, making hires and working to bolster their name recognition. The moves reflect both the fervor in the party to reclaim the White House and the reality that mounting a modern presidential campaign is a years-long endeavor.

‘americans Will See The Current Two Options Are Not The Choice’

Jade Simmons is a multi-hyphenated woman. A former beauty queen, professional concert pianist, motivational speaker, rapper, mother, and ordained pastor.

As she puts it, she is an unconventional candidate, “but these are unconventional times”.

“This seemed to me to be a time when we couldn’t afford to do business as usual,” she says. “I’m the daughter of a civil rights activist, and the way my father raised me was that if you see voids, if you see injustices, you need to ask yourself if that might be you that needs to be leaning in.”

She says her goal is to create equal access to opportunity, through economic, educational and criminal justice reform. And in that spirit, she’s aiming to run “the least expensive campaign in the history of our nation”.

“We think it’s abominable that it costs now almost a billion dollars to run for president when the qualifications are that you are 35 years old, a US-born resident, and have lived here 14 years,” says Ms Simmons. “We’d rather spend that money on helping people.”

Full coverage of the US election

While the Republican and Democratic nominees will be on the ballot in all states, independents must meet an array of state deadlines and access requirements.

“I know it sounds wild, given the history of independents! We believe that if we stay standing long enough, there’s still some more disruption coming in – that most Americans are going to see that the current two options are not the choice.

Sen Mitt Romney Of Utah

A Gallup poll last March found Romney, 74, has a higher approval rating among Democrats than Republicans, so you might figure he doesnt have a prayer in taking his partys nomination again. A February Morning Consult poll, though, had Romney polling ahead of Republicans like Pompeo, Cotton and Hawley. So, youre telling me theres a chance? Yes, a one-in-a-million chance.

The 2012 GOP presidential nominee and his wife, Ann, have five sons. He graduated from Brigham Young University and Harvard Law. Romney is a former Massachusetts governor, and the first person to be a governor and senator from two different states since Sam Houston, who was governor of Tennessee and a senator from Texas. Romney is this years JFK Profile in Courage Award recipient.

Florida Gov Ron Desantis

DeSantis, 42, has quickly emerged as a Republican rising star. He finished second in the Conservative Political Action Conference straw poll in February behind Trump, and some see him as the best positioned heir to the Trump mantle.

If Trump doesnt run again, I think hes the odds-on favorite to be the next president, Florida Republican Party chair and state Sen. Joe Gruters told NBC News of DeSantis.

DeSantis appeal is due in part to his combative relationship with the news media he regularly spars with journalists, interrupting or pushing back against their questions in a way Trump fans would appreciate and also because of his handling of the pandemic.

In a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed, DeSantis wrote that Floridas less-restrictive response to COVID-19 bucked faulty intel from the elites and the state still ended up with comparatively low unemployment, and per capita COVID mortality below the national average. Floridas COVID-19 death rate per 100,000 people is similar to California and Ohio, and so far, about 33,500 Floridians have died from the virus. New research in the American Journal of Public Health suggests the state is undercounting COVID-19 deaths.

How Biden Won: Ramping Up The Base And Expanding Margins In The Suburbs

It brings the number of states Biden flipped from Trump’s 2016 column to five, including Arizona, which last voted Democratic in a presidential race when it backed Clinton in 1996.

Biden also flipped Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, three key northern industrial states that ultimately delivered the White House to Trump four years ago. Biden also won a single electoral vote in Nebraska’s 2nd Congressional District, which last voted Democratic for former President Barack Obama in 2008.

Electors from each state and the District of Columbia are expected to vote on Dec. 14. The new Congress will then count the votes and certify Biden’s victory on Jan. 6, two weeks before the inauguration.

But Georgia’s political activity is far from over. The state will hold two runoff elections on Jan. 5 for both its U.S. Senate seats, which are currently held by Republicans.

‘i Made A Decision To Live My Life In Service’

Brock Pierce is a former child actor who appeared in the Mighty Ducks franchise and starred as the president’s son in the 1996 comedy First Kid. But thanks to his second career as a tech entrepreneur, he’s also probably a crypto currency billionaire.

Why is he running for president? Partly because he is deeply concerned by the state of the country.

“I think that we lack a real vision for the future – I mean, what kind of world do we want to live in, in the year 2030? What is the plan? Where are we trying to get to, you know? You have to aim for something. And I see mostly just a lot of mud being thrown around, not a lot of people putting forth game-changing ideas. It’s getting scary. And I have a view of what to do.”

For the last four years, Mr Pierce has focused on philanthropic work in Puerto Rico, where his foundation recently raised a million dollars for PPE to give to first responders.

Asked what America’s priorities should be for the next four years, he suggests the country stops pursuing “growth for growth’s sake”, and measures its success by how well life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are upheld.

“I have many liberal tendencies, just like I have conservative tendencies,” Mr Pierce says. “And I think it’s time we take a collective breath and a brave step into the future, because all of these ideologies have something to teach us.”

‘We don’t like either candidate’

And if he doesn’t pull it off? Mr Pierce says he has offers.

Trump Remains 2024 Candidate Of Choice For Most Republicans Poll Shows

59% of Republican voters said they wanted Trump to play prominent role in party, but tens of thousands left after Capitol riot

If the 2024 Republican presidential primary were held today, Donald Trump would be the clear favorite to win big. That was the message from a Politico-Morning Consult poll released on Tuesday, three days after Trumps acquittal in his second impeachment trial, on a charge of inciting the insurrection at the US Capitol on 6 January.

Among Republican voters, 59% said they wanted Trump to play a prominent role in their party, up a whopping 18 points from the last such poll, taken in the aftermath of the Capitol riot. A slightly lower number, 54%, said they would back Trump in the primary.

Tens of thousands of Republicans left the party after the Capitol insurrection, and a majority of Americans have told other pollsters they would like to see Trump banished from politics.

Though the 45th president will be 78 by election day 2024, he will be able to run again if he chooses, having escaped being barred from office after a 57-43 Senate vote to convict with seven Republican defections but 10 votes short of the majority needed.

Mike Pences life was threatened by Trump supporters at the Capitol, as the vice-president presided over the ratification of electoral college results confirming Trumps defeat by Joe Biden. He placed second in the Politico-Morning Consult poll, with 12%.

Key Votes: 115th Congress 2017

For detailed information about each vote, click .

Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018

 Bill Passed on December 12, 2018

Proposed providing funding for commodity support, conservation, trade and international food aid, nutrition assistance, farm credit, rural development, research and extension activities, forestry, horticulture, and crop insurance through fiscal year 2023.

Voted Yea on: Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018 )

 Bill Passed on June 21, 2018

Proposed providing funding for commodity support, conservation, trade and international food aid, nutrition assistance, farm credit, rural development, research and extension activities, forestry, horticulture, and crop insurance. It also proposed modifying the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, previously known as the food stamp program.

Voted Yea on: Securing Americaâs Future Act of 2018

 Bill Failed on June 21, 2018

Proposed funding a border wall, limiting legal immigration, a mandatory worker verification program, allowing DACA recipients to apply for legal status, and preventing separation of families at the border.

Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018

 Bill Passed on December 12, 2018

Reauthorizes through FY2023 and modifies some Department of Agriculture programs.

Voted Yea on: Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act

Voted Yea on: Kates Law

Voted Yea on: No Sanctuary for Criminals Act

Voted Yea on: American Health Care Act of 2017

Voted Nay on: Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2018

Georgia’s Republican Us Senators Call On Gop State Election Chief To Resign

GOP strategist predicts Trump Jr. will run in 2024: “He’s a flamethrower”

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, himself a Republican, called the claims “laughable” and refused to step aside.

The early rancor and fighting over the presidential election results, which are headed for a recount despite Biden’s growing lead, is a preview of the intense fight to come over the fate of the two Senate seats. Vice President Pence told GOP senators that he plans to campaign in the state, and national Democrats are already pouring money and support to their challengers, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock.

The Georgia runoffs are slated for Jan. 5, after the Senate is scheduled to begin a new session. That uncertainty means the Senate will be unable to officially organize until the results of that election are finalized.

A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office. Evan Vucci/APhide caption

toggle caption

A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office.

President Trump is set to visit Arlington National Cemetery on Wednesday to mark Veterans Day and lay a wreath. Trump will be joined by Vice President Pence. This is one of the more traditional ceremonial duties of a president. .

Asked what the president has been up to, White House spokesman Judd Deere said Trump has been working behind the scenes.

None Of Them Can Win But They Could Play Spoiler

Remember when half of American white males over the age of 40 declared themselves for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016? There were so many candidates that they couldn’t fit them all on two packed debate stages. One guy stayed in after receiving a grand total of 12 votes in the Iowa caucuses; in New Hampshire, Jim Gilmore’s showing improved to , an unprecedented 1,000 percent increase. Reader: He didn’t withdraw for another six days.

Since Donald Trump is our incumbent president, and will thus almost surely be the GOP nominee in 2020, we should be spared a repeat, and really ought to be able to give our undivided attention to the approximately 437 mostly Social Security-eligible senators, governors, congressmen, mayors, and billionaire activists looking to run on the Democratic ticket in 2020. Unfortunately, Trump will almost certainly be challenged, either in the ostensibly meaningless Republican primaries or by one or more independent right-of-center candidates.

Stephen Bannon thinks 2020 will be a proper three-way race. #NeverTrumpers are already ferreting around for someone to challenge the president for the GOP nomination. “I just finished reading a book about the French resistance. It reminds me of that. People are meeting over their garages their ateliers trying to figure out who’s going to do it,” one of them toldNew York recently.

Here are five people who might just fit the bill.

1. John Kasich

Chance of running: 80 percent

2. Jeff Flake

Georgia’s Brad Raffensperger: National Gop Figures Didn’t Understand Our Laws

But Gabriel Sterling, Georgia’s voting system implementation manager, said on Wednesday that the system is working exactly the way it is intended.

“The irony of saying ‘fraudulent votes have been found’ â he has gained in the finding of these votes,” he said.

Raffensperger has said he’s been pressured by top Republicans to find ways of disqualifying ballots that hurt the Trump campaign.

“They say that as pressure builds, it reveals your character, it doesn’t change your character. Some people aren’t behaving too well with seeing where the results are,” Raffensperger told NPR’s Ari Shapiro on Tuesday.

“At the end of the day, I want voters to understand that when they cast their ballot in Georgia, it will be accurately counted. You may not like the results and I get that. I understand how contentious it is. But you can then respect the results.”

Poll workers check voters’ identifications on Election Day at the Orpheum Theater in Madison, Wis. The Trump campaign has announced it is filing for a recount in two Wisconsin counties.hide caption

toggle caption

Poll workers check voters’ identifications on Election Day at the Orpheum Theater in Madison, Wis. The Trump campaign has announced it is filing for a recount in two Wisconsin counties.

President Trump’s campaign announced Wednesday morning it is filing a petition to formally ask election authorities to conduct a recount in two Wisconsin counties. President-elect Joe Biden won the state by a little more than 20,000 votes.

If Trump Runs In 2024 Could Any Republican Beat Him

As we await the final results to come in from the decisive states, let us assume for a moment that this election ends in the way that now appears most likely. That is, Joe Biden wins, and a large number of conservatives are convinced that the only reason President Trump lost is that Democrats stole the election.

Given these circumstances, if Trump decided that he wanted to run for president again four years from now, is there a Republican politician in the country who would be able to stop him?

For sure, professional Republicans would want to move on from Trump. And many of the Republican voters who merely tolerated him because he was better than the Democratic alternative may be eager for other options. But those are the same groups of people that tried unsuccessfully to kill his candidacy in 2016.

Trump may decide that he doesn’t want to run again. Or his health may decline as he enters his late 70s. But let’s just assume he decides to run and that he’s in roughly the same mental and physical condition that he is now. How can any Republican hope to compete with him?

In defeat, Trump would be in a position unlike that of other one-term presidents. Typically, one-term presidents are written off as losers, and their parties run away from them. Think of Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter, or George H.W. Bush. After 1980, nobody ran for office claiming, “I’m a Jimmy Carter Democrat.” Bush I was never a coveted speaker in conservative circles after his loss.

The This Sounds Crazy But Hear Me Out Wild Card

Mike Lindell

Donald Trump wasnt the first celebrity businessman without any experience in elective office who got traction in a Republican presidential primary. In 2012, it was former Godfathers Pizza CEO Herman Cain. In 1996 and 2000, it was magazine publisher Steve Forbes. Back in 1940, utility executive Wendell Willkie snagged the GOP nomination.

Today, who is the most famous, politically active Republican businessman? MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell. That may sound crazy, but no crazier than what we experienced in 2016.

Lindell is a leader of the bitter-enders trying to overturn the democratic results of the presidential election. He claims to have spent $1 million on legal work and Stop the Steal rallies to support Trumps delusional cause. On December 19, he tweeted out a call for Trump to impose martial law in these 7 states and get the machines/ballots! though he soon deleted the post.

He became a conservative darling in part because he heavily marketed his pillows on Fox News; in the second quarter of 2020, MyPillow was Fox Newss top advertiser, spending more than double the amount of the second-place company. But now he accuses Fox News, and its early call that Biden won Arizona, of conspiring to defeat Trump

What to watch for in 2021:While Lindell has been thinking about a Minnesota gubernatorial bid, he has managed to visit neighboring Iowa several times in 2020. Lets see which state he campaigns in more in 2021.

Filed Under:

What Is A Voter

The , which took effect January 1, 2011, created voter-nominated offices. The Top Two Candidates Open Primary Act does not apply to candidates running for U.S. President, county central committees, or local offices.

Most of the offices that were previously known as partisan are now known as voter-nominated offices. Voter-nominated offices are state constitutional offices, state legislative offices, and U.S. congressional offices. The only partisan offices now are the offices of U.S. President and county central committee.

Former Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo

If the 2024 election turns into a foreign policy debate, the 57-year-old Pompeo is in a strong position with his background as former secretary of state and CIA director.

During Pompeos recent speech at the Westside Conservative Club in Urbandale, Iowa, he gave a preview of some of the lines that might end up in his presidential stump speech. He said hes spent more time with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un than any other American, including basketball star Dennis Rodman, and talked about the threat he sees from China. His mention of the U.S. moving its embassy in Israel to Jerusalem during his tenure was met with applause.

Before serving in Trumps Cabinet, Pompeo blasted then-candidate Trump as an authoritarian. Pompeo made the remarks the day of the Kansas caucus in 2016, quoting Trump saying that if he told a soldier to commit a war crime, they would go and do it. Pompeo said the U.S. had spent 7½ years with an authoritarian president who ignored the Constitution, referencing former President Barack Obama, and we dont need four more years of that.

Pompeo served three full terms representing Kansas in the U.S. House before joining the Trump administration. He and his wife, Susan, have one child. He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy and Harvard Law and served in the U.S. Army.

Academics Journalists Authors Commentators

Reuel Marc Gerecht, writer

Michael Gerson, columnist and speechwriter for George W. Bush

Peter Mansoor, military historian

Meghan McCain, commentator, daughter of Senator John McCain

Charles Murray, political scientist and commentator

Ana Navarro, strategist and commentator

Tom Nichols, national security affairs scholar

Marc Andreessen, co-founder of Netscape; founder of Andreessen Horowitz

Mike Fernandez, founder of MBF Healthcare Partners

James Murren, Chairman and CEO of MGM Resorts International

William Oberndorf, Chairman of Oberndorf Enterprises

Whos Running For President In 2020

Republican Lawmakers Are Terrified Of Trump Running For President Again

Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. is the presumptive Democratic nominee to challenge President Trump in the 2020 race.

The field of Democratic presidential candidates was historically large, but all others have dropped out. Mr. Trump had also picked up a few Republican challengers, but they have also ended their campaigns.

Running

Has run for president twice before.

Is known for his down-to-earth personality and his ability to connect with working-class voters.

His eight years as Barack Obamas vice president are a major selling point for many Democrats.

Signature issues: Restoring Americas standing on the global stage; adding a public option to the Affordable Care Act; strengthening economic protections for low-income workers in industries like manufacturing and fast food.

Main legislative accomplishment as president: a sweeping tax cut that chiefly benefited corporations and wealthy investors.

Has focused on undoing the policies of the Obama administration, including on health care, environmental regulation and immigration.

Was impeached by the House of Representatives for seeking to pressure Ukraine to smear his political rivals, but was acquitted by the Senate.

Signature issues: Restricting immigration and building a wall at the Mexican border; renegotiating or canceling international deals on trade, arms control and climate change; withdrawing American troops from overseas.

Ended her campaign in March 2020 and said she would back Mr. Biden.

Views About The Publics Influence On Government

Overall, most adults see voting as an avenue to influence the government: 61% say that voting gives people like me some say about how government runs things.

However, on a more general measure of political efficacy, the public is more divided: 52% say ordinary citizens can do a lot to influence government if they make an effort, while 47% say theres not much ordinary citizens can do to influence the government in Washington.

On both measures, younger and less-educated adults are more skeptical about the impact of participation.

The view that voting gives people some say increases with age; while just 53% of adults under 30 say this, that compares with nearly three-quarters of those 65 and older . This age gap is seen in both parties.

Similarly, those under 50 are less likely than their elders to say ordinary citizens can influence government if they make an effort .

Education is also associated with a sense of political efficacy: 77% of postgraduates say voting gives people some say, compared with two-thirds of those with a bachelors degree and 57% of those with less education.

Political engagement is highly correlated with attitudes about voting. Highly engaged adults are considerably more likely to see the value of participation and the potential of ordinary citizens to influence governmental policy.

Sen Tom Cotton Of Arkansas

Cotton, 43, has been preparing for a potential presidential run since before the 2020 election even happened, visiting the first-in-the-nation primary state New Hampshire last year to campaign for local Republicans. I expect Ill be back to New Hampshire again in the future, he told Insider last October. The betting site PredictIt currently ranks Cotton alongside Pompeo, Rubio and Hawley.

Cotton represented Arkansas in the U.S. House for two terms before becoming a senator in 2015. His first brush with national prominence came in 2006 when he was serving in Iraq as an Army lieutenant. Cotton sent a letter to the editor at The New York Times criticizing their story about the U.S. terrorist finance tracking program. Cotton called for the paper to be prosecuted for revealing the program, and though his letter wasnt published in the Times, it was picked up by the conservative blog Power Line, which Cotton copied on his petition to the Times.

Another Cotton opinion piece did later make it into the Times. His controversial 2020 op-ed, headlined Send In the Troops about using the military and an overwhelming show of force against protesters and rioters following the death of George Floyd, led to the resignation of Times editorial page editor James Bennet. Cotton referenced the op-ed in January after the attack on the Capitol, and said in a statement that those involved should face the full extent of federal law.

[statetalks]

Are There Any Republicans Running For President Other Than Trump

Republican Presidential Hopefuls Move Forward As Trump Considers 2024 Run

2020 Election – 5 Republicans Who Might Run For President (Why Donald Trump will be the GOP Nominee)

Print

Less than three months after former President Trump left the White House, the race to succeed him is already beginning.

Trumps former secretary of State, Michael R. Pompeo, has launched an aggressive schedule visiting states that will play a pivotal role in the 2024 Republican primaries and has signed a contract with Fox News Channel. Mike Pence, Trumps former vice president, has started a political advocacy group, finalized a book deal and later this month will give a speech in South Carolina, his first since leaving office. And Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has been courting donors, including in Trumps backyard, with a prominent speaking slot before the former president at a GOP fundraising retreat dinner this month at Mar-a-Lago, the Florida resort where Trump now lives.

Trump ended his presidency with such a firm grip on Republican voters that party leaders fretted he would freeze the field of potential 2024 candidates, delaying preparations as he teased another run. Instead, many Republicans with national ambitions are openly laying the groundwork for campaigns as Trump continues to mull his own plans.

Theyre raising money, making hires and working to bolster their name recognition. The moves reflect both the fervor in the party to reclaim the White House and the reality that mounting a modern presidential campaign is a years-long endeavor.

‘americans Will See The Current Two Options Are Not The Choice’

Jade Simmons is a multi-hyphenated woman. A former beauty queen, professional concert pianist, motivational speaker, rapper, mother, and ordained pastor.

As she puts it, she is an unconventional candidate, “but these are unconventional times”.

“This seemed to me to be a time when we couldn’t afford to do business as usual,” she says. “I’m the daughter of a civil rights activist, and the way my father raised me was that if you see voids, if you see injustices, you need to ask yourself if that might be you that needs to be leaning in.”

She says her goal is to create equal access to opportunity, through economic, educational and criminal justice reform. And in that spirit, she’s aiming to run “the least expensive campaign in the history of our nation”.

“We think it’s abominable that it costs now almost a billion dollars to run for president when the qualifications are that you are 35 years old, a US-born resident, and have lived here 14 years,” says Ms Simmons. “We’d rather spend that money on helping people.”

Full coverage of the US election

While the Republican and Democratic nominees will be on the ballot in all states, independents must meet an array of state deadlines and access requirements.

“I know it sounds wild, given the history of independents! We believe that if we stay standing long enough, there’s still some more disruption coming in – that most Americans are going to see that the current two options are not the choice.

Sen Mitt Romney Of Utah

A Gallup poll last March found Romney, 74, has a higher approval rating among Democrats than Republicans, so you might figure he doesnt have a prayer in taking his partys nomination again. A February Morning Consult poll, though, had Romney polling ahead of Republicans like Pompeo, Cotton and Hawley. So, youre telling me theres a chance? Yes, a one-in-a-million chance.

The 2012 GOP presidential nominee and his wife, Ann, have five sons. He graduated from Brigham Young University and Harvard Law. Romney is a former Massachusetts governor, and the first person to be a governor and senator from two different states since Sam Houston, who was governor of Tennessee and a senator from Texas. Romney is this years JFK Profile in Courage Award recipient.

Florida Gov Ron Desantis

DeSantis, 42, has quickly emerged as a Republican rising star. He finished second in the Conservative Political Action Conference straw poll in February behind Trump, and some see him as the best positioned heir to the Trump mantle.

If Trump doesnt run again, I think hes the odds-on favorite to be the next president, Florida Republican Party chair and state Sen. Joe Gruters told NBC News of DeSantis.

DeSantis appeal is due in part to his combative relationship with the news media he regularly spars with journalists, interrupting or pushing back against their questions in a way Trump fans would appreciate and also because of his handling of the pandemic.

In a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed, DeSantis wrote that Floridas less-restrictive response to COVID-19 bucked faulty intel from the elites and the state still ended up with comparatively low unemployment, and per capita COVID mortality below the national average. Floridas COVID-19 death rate per 100,000 people is similar to California and Ohio, and so far, about 33,500 Floridians have died from the virus. New research in the American Journal of Public Health suggests the state is undercounting COVID-19 deaths.

How Biden Won: Ramping Up The Base And Expanding Margins In The Suburbs

It brings the number of states Biden flipped from Trump’s 2016 column to five, including Arizona, which last voted Democratic in a presidential race when it backed Clinton in 1996.

Biden also flipped Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, three key northern industrial states that ultimately delivered the White House to Trump four years ago. Biden also won a single electoral vote in Nebraska’s 2nd Congressional District, which last voted Democratic for former President Barack Obama in 2008.

Electors from each state and the District of Columbia are expected to vote on Dec. 14. The new Congress will then count the votes and certify Biden’s victory on Jan. 6, two weeks before the inauguration.

But Georgia’s political activity is far from over. The state will hold two runoff elections on Jan. 5 for both its U.S. Senate seats, which are currently held by Republicans.

‘i Made A Decision To Live My Life In Service’

Brock Pierce is a former child actor who appeared in the Mighty Ducks franchise and starred as the president’s son in the 1996 comedy First Kid. But thanks to his second career as a tech entrepreneur, he’s also probably a crypto currency billionaire.

Why is he running for president? Partly because he is deeply concerned by the state of the country.

“I think that we lack a real vision for the future – I mean, what kind of world do we want to live in, in the year 2030? What is the plan? Where are we trying to get to, you know? You have to aim for something. And I see mostly just a lot of mud being thrown around, not a lot of people putting forth game-changing ideas. It’s getting scary. And I have a view of what to do.”

For the last four years, Mr Pierce has focused on philanthropic work in Puerto Rico, where his foundation recently raised a million dollars for PPE to give to first responders.

Asked what America’s priorities should be for the next four years, he suggests the country stops pursuing “growth for growth’s sake”, and measures its success by how well life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are upheld.

“I have many liberal tendencies, just like I have conservative tendencies,” Mr Pierce says. “And I think it’s time we take a collective breath and a brave step into the future, because all of these ideologies have something to teach us.”

‘We don’t like either candidate’

And if he doesn’t pull it off? Mr Pierce says he has offers.

Trump Remains 2024 Candidate Of Choice For Most Republicans Poll Shows

59% of Republican voters said they wanted Trump to play prominent role in party, but tens of thousands left after Capitol riot

If the 2024 Republican presidential primary were held today, Donald Trump would be the clear favorite to win big. That was the message from a Politico-Morning Consult poll released on Tuesday, three days after Trumps acquittal in his second impeachment trial, on a charge of inciting the insurrection at the US Capitol on 6 January.

Among Republican voters, 59% said they wanted Trump to play a prominent role in their party, up a whopping 18 points from the last such poll, taken in the aftermath of the Capitol riot. A slightly lower number, 54%, said they would back Trump in the primary.

Tens of thousands of Republicans left the party after the Capitol insurrection, and a majority of Americans have told other pollsters they would like to see Trump banished from politics.

Though the 45th president will be 78 by election day 2024, he will be able to run again if he chooses, having escaped being barred from office after a 57-43 Senate vote to convict with seven Republican defections but 10 votes short of the majority needed.

Mike Pences life was threatened by Trump supporters at the Capitol, as the vice-president presided over the ratification of electoral college results confirming Trumps defeat by Joe Biden. He placed second in the Politico-Morning Consult poll, with 12%.

Key Votes: 115th Congress 2017

For detailed information about each vote, click .

Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018

 Bill Passed on December 12, 2018

Proposed providing funding for commodity support, conservation, trade and international food aid, nutrition assistance, farm credit, rural development, research and extension activities, forestry, horticulture, and crop insurance through fiscal year 2023.

Voted Yea on: Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018 )

 Bill Passed on June 21, 2018

Proposed providing funding for commodity support, conservation, trade and international food aid, nutrition assistance, farm credit, rural development, research and extension activities, forestry, horticulture, and crop insurance. It also proposed modifying the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, previously known as the food stamp program.

Voted Yea on: Securing Americaâs Future Act of 2018

 Bill Failed on June 21, 2018

Proposed funding a border wall, limiting legal immigration, a mandatory worker verification program, allowing DACA recipients to apply for legal status, and preventing separation of families at the border.

Agriculture and Nutrition Act of 2018

 Bill Passed on December 12, 2018

Reauthorizes through FY2023 and modifies some Department of Agriculture programs.

Voted Yea on: Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act

Voted Yea on: Kates Law

Voted Yea on: No Sanctuary for Criminals Act

Voted Yea on: American Health Care Act of 2017

Voted Nay on: Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2018

Georgia’s Republican Us Senators Call On Gop State Election Chief To Resign

GOP strategist predicts Trump Jr. will run in 2024: “He’s a flamethrower”

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, himself a Republican, called the claims “laughable” and refused to step aside.

The early rancor and fighting over the presidential election results, which are headed for a recount despite Biden’s growing lead, is a preview of the intense fight to come over the fate of the two Senate seats. Vice President Pence told GOP senators that he plans to campaign in the state, and national Democrats are already pouring money and support to their challengers, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock.

The Georgia runoffs are slated for Jan. 5, after the Senate is scheduled to begin a new session. That uncertainty means the Senate will be unable to officially organize until the results of that election are finalized.

A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office. Evan Vucci/APhide caption

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A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office.

President Trump is set to visit Arlington National Cemetery on Wednesday to mark Veterans Day and lay a wreath. Trump will be joined by Vice President Pence. This is one of the more traditional ceremonial duties of a president. .

Asked what the president has been up to, White House spokesman Judd Deere said Trump has been working behind the scenes.

None Of Them Can Win But They Could Play Spoiler

Remember when half of American white males over the age of 40 declared themselves for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016? There were so many candidates that they couldn’t fit them all on two packed debate stages. One guy stayed in after receiving a grand total of 12 votes in the Iowa caucuses; in New Hampshire, Jim Gilmore’s showing improved to , an unprecedented 1,000 percent increase. Reader: He didn’t withdraw for another six days.

Since Donald Trump is our incumbent president, and will thus almost surely be the GOP nominee in 2020, we should be spared a repeat, and really ought to be able to give our undivided attention to the approximately 437 mostly Social Security-eligible senators, governors, congressmen, mayors, and billionaire activists looking to run on the Democratic ticket in 2020. Unfortunately, Trump will almost certainly be challenged, either in the ostensibly meaningless Republican primaries or by one or more independent right-of-center candidates.

Stephen Bannon thinks 2020 will be a proper three-way race. #NeverTrumpers are already ferreting around for someone to challenge the president for the GOP nomination. “I just finished reading a book about the French resistance. It reminds me of that. People are meeting over their garages their ateliers trying to figure out who’s going to do it,” one of them toldNew York recently.

Here are five people who might just fit the bill.

1. John Kasich

Chance of running: 80 percent

2. Jeff Flake

Georgia’s Brad Raffensperger: National Gop Figures Didn’t Understand Our Laws

But Gabriel Sterling, Georgia’s voting system implementation manager, said on Wednesday that the system is working exactly the way it is intended.

“The irony of saying ‘fraudulent votes have been found’ â he has gained in the finding of these votes,” he said.

Raffensperger has said he’s been pressured by top Republicans to find ways of disqualifying ballots that hurt the Trump campaign.

“They say that as pressure builds, it reveals your character, it doesn’t change your character. Some people aren’t behaving too well with seeing where the results are,” Raffensperger told NPR’s Ari Shapiro on Tuesday.

“At the end of the day, I want voters to understand that when they cast their ballot in Georgia, it will be accurately counted. You may not like the results and I get that. I understand how contentious it is. But you can then respect the results.”

Poll workers check voters’ identifications on Election Day at the Orpheum Theater in Madison, Wis. The Trump campaign has announced it is filing for a recount in two Wisconsin counties.hide caption

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Poll workers check voters’ identifications on Election Day at the Orpheum Theater in Madison, Wis. The Trump campaign has announced it is filing for a recount in two Wisconsin counties.

President Trump’s campaign announced Wednesday morning it is filing a petition to formally ask election authorities to conduct a recount in two Wisconsin counties. President-elect Joe Biden won the state by a little more than 20,000 votes.

If Trump Runs In 2024 Could Any Republican Beat Him

As we await the final results to come in from the decisive states, let us assume for a moment that this election ends in the way that now appears most likely. That is, Joe Biden wins, and a large number of conservatives are convinced that the only reason President Trump lost is that Democrats stole the election.

Given these circumstances, if Trump decided that he wanted to run for president again four years from now, is there a Republican politician in the country who would be able to stop him?

For sure, professional Republicans would want to move on from Trump. And many of the Republican voters who merely tolerated him because he was better than the Democratic alternative may be eager for other options. But those are the same groups of people that tried unsuccessfully to kill his candidacy in 2016.

Trump may decide that he doesn’t want to run again. Or his health may decline as he enters his late 70s. But let’s just assume he decides to run and that he’s in roughly the same mental and physical condition that he is now. How can any Republican hope to compete with him?

In defeat, Trump would be in a position unlike that of other one-term presidents. Typically, one-term presidents are written off as losers, and their parties run away from them. Think of Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter, or George H.W. Bush. After 1980, nobody ran for office claiming, “I’m a Jimmy Carter Democrat.” Bush I was never a coveted speaker in conservative circles after his loss.

The This Sounds Crazy But Hear Me Out Wild Card

Mike Lindell

Donald Trump wasnt the first celebrity businessman without any experience in elective office who got traction in a Republican presidential primary. In 2012, it was former Godfathers Pizza CEO Herman Cain. In 1996 and 2000, it was magazine publisher Steve Forbes. Back in 1940, utility executive Wendell Willkie snagged the GOP nomination.

Today, who is the most famous, politically active Republican businessman? MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell. That may sound crazy, but no crazier than what we experienced in 2016.

Lindell is a leader of the bitter-enders trying to overturn the democratic results of the presidential election. He claims to have spent $1 million on legal work and Stop the Steal rallies to support Trumps delusional cause. On December 19, he tweeted out a call for Trump to impose martial law in these 7 states and get the machines/ballots! though he soon deleted the post.

He became a conservative darling in part because he heavily marketed his pillows on Fox News; in the second quarter of 2020, MyPillow was Fox Newss top advertiser, spending more than double the amount of the second-place company. But now he accuses Fox News, and its early call that Biden won Arizona, of conspiring to defeat Trump

What to watch for in 2021:While Lindell has been thinking about a Minnesota gubernatorial bid, he has managed to visit neighboring Iowa several times in 2020. Lets see which state he campaigns in more in 2021.

Filed Under:

What Is A Voter

The , which took effect January 1, 2011, created voter-nominated offices. The Top Two Candidates Open Primary Act does not apply to candidates running for U.S. President, county central committees, or local offices.

Most of the offices that were previously known as partisan are now known as voter-nominated offices. Voter-nominated offices are state constitutional offices, state legislative offices, and U.S. congressional offices. The only partisan offices now are the offices of U.S. President and county central committee.

Former Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo

If the 2024 election turns into a foreign policy debate, the 57-year-old Pompeo is in a strong position with his background as former secretary of state and CIA director.

During Pompeos recent speech at the Westside Conservative Club in Urbandale, Iowa, he gave a preview of some of the lines that might end up in his presidential stump speech. He said hes spent more time with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un than any other American, including basketball star Dennis Rodman, and talked about the threat he sees from China. His mention of the U.S. moving its embassy in Israel to Jerusalem during his tenure was met with applause.

Before serving in Trumps Cabinet, Pompeo blasted then-candidate Trump as an authoritarian. Pompeo made the remarks the day of the Kansas caucus in 2016, quoting Trump saying that if he told a soldier to commit a war crime, they would go and do it. Pompeo said the U.S. had spent 7½ years with an authoritarian president who ignored the Constitution, referencing former President Barack Obama, and we dont need four more years of that.

Pompeo served three full terms representing Kansas in the U.S. House before joining the Trump administration. He and his wife, Susan, have one child. He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy and Harvard Law and served in the U.S. Army.

Academics Journalists Authors Commentators

Reuel Marc Gerecht, writer

Michael Gerson, columnist and speechwriter for George W. Bush

Peter Mansoor, military historian

Meghan McCain, commentator, daughter of Senator John McCain

Charles Murray, political scientist and commentator

Ana Navarro, strategist and commentator

Tom Nichols, national security affairs scholar

Marc Andreessen, co-founder of Netscape; founder of Andreessen Horowitz

Mike Fernandez, founder of MBF Healthcare Partners

James Murren, Chairman and CEO of MGM Resorts International

William Oberndorf, Chairman of Oberndorf Enterprises

Whos Running For President In 2020

Republican Lawmakers Are Terrified Of Trump Running For President Again

Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. is the presumptive Democratic nominee to challenge President Trump in the 2020 race.

The field of Democratic presidential candidates was historically large, but all others have dropped out. Mr. Trump had also picked up a few Republican challengers, but they have also ended their campaigns.

Running

Has run for president twice before.

Is known for his down-to-earth personality and his ability to connect with working-class voters.

His eight years as Barack Obamas vice president are a major selling point for many Democrats.

Signature issues: Restoring Americas standing on the global stage; adding a public option to the Affordable Care Act; strengthening economic protections for low-income workers in industries like manufacturing and fast food.

Main legislative accomplishment as president: a sweeping tax cut that chiefly benefited corporations and wealthy investors.

Has focused on undoing the policies of the Obama administration, including on health care, environmental regulation and immigration.

Was impeached by the House of Representatives for seeking to pressure Ukraine to smear his political rivals, but was acquitted by the Senate.

Signature issues: Restricting immigration and building a wall at the Mexican border; renegotiating or canceling international deals on trade, arms control and climate change; withdrawing American troops from overseas.

Ended her campaign in March 2020 and said she would back Mr. Biden.

Views About The Publics Influence On Government

Overall, most adults see voting as an avenue to influence the government: 61% say that voting gives people like me some say about how government runs things.

However, on a more general measure of political efficacy, the public is more divided: 52% say ordinary citizens can do a lot to influence government if they make an effort, while 47% say theres not much ordinary citizens can do to influence the government in Washington.

On both measures, younger and less-educated adults are more skeptical about the impact of participation.

The view that voting gives people some say increases with age; while just 53% of adults under 30 say this, that compares with nearly three-quarters of those 65 and older . This age gap is seen in both parties.

Similarly, those under 50 are less likely than their elders to say ordinary citizens can influence government if they make an effort .

Education is also associated with a sense of political efficacy: 77% of postgraduates say voting gives people some say, compared with two-thirds of those with a bachelors degree and 57% of those with less education.

Political engagement is highly correlated with attitudes about voting. Highly engaged adults are considerably more likely to see the value of participation and the potential of ordinary citizens to influence governmental policy.

Sen Tom Cotton Of Arkansas

Cotton, 43, has been preparing for a potential presidential run since before the 2020 election even happened, visiting the first-in-the-nation primary state New Hampshire last year to campaign for local Republicans. I expect Ill be back to New Hampshire again in the future, he told Insider last October. The betting site PredictIt currently ranks Cotton alongside Pompeo, Rubio and Hawley.

Cotton represented Arkansas in the U.S. House for two terms before becoming a senator in 2015. His first brush with national prominence came in 2006 when he was serving in Iraq as an Army lieutenant. Cotton sent a letter to the editor at The New York Times criticizing their story about the U.S. terrorist finance tracking program. Cotton called for the paper to be prosecuted for revealing the program, and though his letter wasnt published in the Times, it was picked up by the conservative blog Power Line, which Cotton copied on his petition to the Times.

Another Cotton opinion piece did later make it into the Times. His controversial 2020 op-ed, headlined Send In the Troops about using the military and an overwhelming show of force against protesters and rioters following the death of George Floyd, led to the resignation of Times editorial page editor James Bennet. Cotton referenced the op-ed in January after the attack on the Capitol, and said in a statement that those involved should face the full extent of federal law.

source https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-there-any-republicans-running-for-president-other-than-trump/

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Is Yoga Bad For Seniors

New Post has been published on https://www.ontarioyoga.net/is-yoga-bad-for-seniors/

Is Yoga Bad For Seniors

While Age Does Affect You In Various Ways Theres A Lot You Can Do To Limit Its Impact On Your Body Yoga Is An Excellent Anti

July 31, 2017

Along with the smile lines and gray hair, aging brings changes that are harder to see but very easy to feel, especially during movement. As you age, you’ll encounter general physiological changes in elasticity, stability, speed, strength, and endurance, as well as a different perspective on physical goals. Specific health problems emerge as we age, and these age-related illnesses might affect your yoga practice. Here, we offer our thoughts on how to modify your practice for these common ailments, and we detail the ways that yoga can actually relieve symptoms or has been proven to improve medical outcomes. From heart issues to less lung capacity, decreased bone density to hormonal changes, and to artificial knees, physical changes will affect and dictate the needs of a yoga asana practice, but in all cases, doing yoga will make you feel better.

From Chair Yoga To Hatha To Vinyasa Heres Your Guide To Eight Popular Yoga Types Every Older Adult Should Know

There are countless reasons to add yoga to your routine. Research shows a regular practice not only improves balance and mobility in older adults, but it may also help ease back pain, relieve depression, and even reduce blood pressure for people with hypertension.

“Yoga can help keep the body agile,” says Terry Cockburn, a yoga instructor and owner of Freeport Yoga Company in Freeport, Maine. “It can also help you maintain proprioception, or the awareness of where your body is in relation to everything else,” she says.

That translates to a reduced risk of falls—which is especially compelling, considering falls are the leading cause of injuries in adults older than 65.

So, if you’ve considered trying yoga, now is the time to do it! You don’t have to be flexible or experienced to get started. To help you find the best class for your fitness level and personality, we break down eight of the most popular yoga types.

Common Poses Most Likely To Trigger Yoga Injuries Plus How To Overcome & Avoid Them

November 5, 2016

Healthiest Yoga Poses

According to estimates, more than 30 million people now regularly practice yoga worldwide. And 14 million of those include Americans who received a prescription for yoga from a physician or other therapist. People have practiced yoga for thousands of years. During that time, the practice has earned a strong reputation for promoting well-being in both body and mind.

However, something many practitioners may not realize is that a number of commonly taught yoga poses can also be risky. Particularly yoga injuries are a real threat. So are the healing benefits of yoga worth the risk?

Yoga injuries — including back pains, popped ribs and strained necks — are not necessarily a rare occurrence, especially among those brand new to yoga who push themselves too hard or too quickly. Yoga poses such as handstands, inversions and back-bends might quality yoga as moderate exercise, but these tougher poses also can be cause for concern if you’re not ready for them.

Given all of the proven benefits of yoga, but also the potential risks, what’s a yogi to do? The solution to avoiding yoga injuries seems to be a combination of taking your time to ease into the practice, listening to your body, never pushing yourself past the point of comfort when stretching, and also mixing yoga with other exercises to strengthen weak areas and reduce compensations. It’s also wise to find an instructor who is well-qualified.

Do Yoga Asanas Increase The Efficiency Of The Immune System For The Elderly

Here, again, the Yoga Sutras provide us with insight. Sutra 2.16 states “dukham anaagatam,” which translates into “so that we can avoid the misery that has not yet come.” As we age, the efficiency of our bodies and the immune system’s defenses deteriorate, increasing the risk of sickness. Regular practice of yoga for seniors can lower stress hormones and inflammation, boost the immune system, and decrease the chance of sickness.

So whether you are 65 or 105, lay down your yoga mat, grab a chair, and get started with your yoga practice today!

While a regular yoga practice can result in improved health, know that it is not a substitute for medical treatment. It is important to learn and practice yoga under the supervision of a trained teacher. In the case of a medical condition, practice yoga after consulting a doctor. Do you need information on courses? Contact us at programs@us.artofliving.org to find a Sri Sri Yoga course at an Art of Living Center near you.

We would also like to invite you to attend a free breath and meditation online session to learn about SKY Breath Meditation, the perfect accompaniment to any yoga practice.

Improving Balance To Prevent Falls And Increase Stability In The Senior Age

Falls can occur due to a variety of reasons including home hazards like low lighting, low blood pressure, trips due to footwear, etc. However, one of the major reasons behind the occurrence of falls lies in one simple thing: balance.In today’s post, we explain to you the huge role that balance plays in fall prevention and ways of improving balance to ensure the safety of our beloved seniors.

Balance Exercises For Seniors: Improve Your Balance With These Yoga Poses

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5 Get Back On Your Feet

When a fall could easily result in a trip to the doctor, or even require surgery, staying upright on your own two feet becomes a rather pressing issue. Unfortunately, there are a lot of factors working against our balance system as we age – from our vision to the muscles which support our bodies, everything takes a hit.

But there’s also good news: and improving your quality of life.

More Older People Are Doing Yoga But They Are Also Racking Up Injuries

Yoga may hold a key to aging well, suggests a growing body of research into its potential benefits for body and mind — benefits that include reducing heart rate and blood pressure, relieving anxiety and depression, and easing back pain. One recent study even raised the possibility of positive changes in biological markers of aging and stress in people who do yoga.

So it’s no surprise that the number of yoga practitioners in the United States has more than doubled to 36.7 million over the last decade, with health benefits the main reason people practice, according to the Yoga in America Study conducted last year on behalf of Yoga Journal and the Yoga Alliance.

While yoga enthusiasts are often pictured as young and bendy, the reality, according to the Yoga in America study, is that 17 percent are in their 50s and 21 percent are age 60 and older.

Along with this upsurge of interest has been an upsurge in injuries, particularly among older practitioners. “Participants aged 65 years and older have a greater rate of injury from practicing yoga when compared with other age groups,” researchers wrote last year in a study of nearly 30,000 yoga-related injuries seen in U.S. hospital emergency departments from 2001 to 2014. “While there are many health benefits to practicing yoga, participants and those wishing to become participants should confer with a physician prior to engaging in physical activity and practice only under the guidance of certified instructors.”

The Heat Of Hot Yoga Can Be Very Good But Also Risky For Some People

Brian Tracy first heard about Bikram yoga in 2005, when a graduate student approached the exercise scientist with an idea for studying the classes, which last for 90 minutes in a room heated to about 105 degrees.

To investigate, Tracy tried it. More than a decade later, the researcher still practices Bikram yoga sometimes — and not always for science. “It’s one of the things I do for exercise, and it makes me feel really good,” says Tracy, who studies neuromuscular physiology at Colorado State University in Fort Collins.

Casey Mace Firebaugh had the opposite reaction. A public health researcher at Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Mace Firebaugh has long practiced more-traditional forms of yoga. Although she gave hot yoga a chance, it often made her feel lightheaded.

“I’m a relatively fit and active person,” Mace Firebaugh says. “But hot yoga made me feel terrible when I did it.”

More than 36 million Americans practice yoga, according to a 2016 . And although there are no firm statistics on how many do their poses in heated spaces, anecdotal evidence suggests that hot yoga has grown in popularity since it was introduced to the United States in the 1970s.

Yoga For Older Adults: 5 Health Benefits Of The Practice For Post50s

Beginning a yoga practice as an older adult can be intimidating, especially if you’re out of shape or working with health conditions. Although you don’t want to jump into a 90-minute hot yoga class with a group of younger practitioners, starting a gentle practice for beginners can be an excellent way to stay active and lower stress levels. Yoga can have a number of benefits for people over 50, from healthy bones to flexibility to anxiety relief. Ninety-four-year-old yogi Tao Porchon-Lynch swears by yoga as a way to maintain a positive attitude, relieve stress and age gracefully.

Yoga is not only safe for older practitioners, but also effective in keeping the mind and body in good health. If you’re thinking about starting a yoga practice, make sure to find a class and instructor who can meet your needs.

“People can either find an individual teacher to work with when they first start out, or find a studio that works with beginner classes, and see if they tailor to people over 50,” Eva Norlyk Smith, yoga teacher and Managing Editor at YogaUOnline, tells Huff/Post50.

“There’s a lot to learn, and most people over 50 run into issues like tight hamstrings, which affects alignment in so many different postures,” Norlyk Smith says. “If you go in and have a 20-year-old doing it perfectly next to you, you’re going to push yourself more than you should.”

1. You Get The Benefits Of Movement — Without The Strain.

2. Increased Flexibility.

3. Yoga Can Relieve Menopausal Discomfort.

A Gentle Yoga Practice Allows Seniors To Move Without Straining

Exercise is a critical part of healthy aging, but it presents certain risks to seniors. High-intensity exercises – such as running, cycling, and weight-lifting – can put a strain on the body and lead to injuries. A gentle yoga practice is an excellent low-impact exercise option. Yoga is not only safe for older practitioners, but effective in maintaining mental and physical health.

You should contact yoga studios and gyms in your area to determine whether they offer yoga classes for beginners and/or seniors. Arrive early before your first class so that you have an opportunity to speak with your instructor about what to expect during class. Let your instructor know about any injuries or health issues you have. Never overextend yourself on your mat, and move into postures only as far as you can. Ask your instructor for help if you need it. New practitioners should also remember that they can take a seated position or child’s pose if they need to rest.

How Does Yoga For Seniors Differ From Yoga For Younger People

Täo Porchon-Lynch is a shining example of the way in which the terms “old” and “young” refer to the state of the body, rather than numerical age. In fact, many older adults have greater flexibility than sedentary young people. In general, though, cardio-heavy flow practices and asanas that require abdominal strength can be more challenging for seniors, as can holding postures for long periods of time.

Proper Form Is Especially Important For People With Back Pain

The main issue with yoga-related back injuries is that people don’t follow proper form and speed, says Dr. Lauren Elson, instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School. “They quickly ‘drop’ into a yoga pose without gradually ‘lengthening’ into it.”

This is similar to jerking your body while lifting a dumbbell and doing fast reps instead of making a slow, controlled movement, or running on a treadmill at top speed without steadily increasing the tempo. The result is a greater chance of injury.

In yoga, you should use your muscles to first create a solid foundation for movement, and then follow proper form that slowly lengthens and stretches your body. For example, when I perform my seated twist, I have to remember that the point of the pose is not to rotate as fast and far as possible. Instead, I need to activate my core muscles and feel as though my spine is lengthening. Then I can twist slowly until I feel resistance, and hold for as long as it’s comfortable and the tension melts away.

Yoga Videos For Seniors: Sequences For Your Exercise Program

Below, we’ll share a few yoga videos designed specifically for older adults. If you’re new to the practice of yoga, try working these sequences into your routine: 

Gentle Chair Yoga for Beginners and Seniors This 15-minute chair yoga video is ideal for those with limited mobility or those recovering from an injury. 

30-Minute Restorative Yoga and MeditationThis restorative yoga practice is a slow-paced class suitable for seniors, focusing on the mental and meditative benefits of yoga. 

Full Length Gentle Yoga Class for Beginners and Seniors This 30-minute yoga flow is slow-paced, featuring a number of seated and standing poses. The instructor offers a number of modifications for beginners.

Gentle Yoga for Seniors 1 Hour Hatha Class This full, hour-long hatha class is taught by and designed for seniors. Since it’s a longer video, you may want to save this video until you’ve completed a shorter sequence.

Types Of Yoga Injuries: What Are The Causes & Riskiest Poses

As with any other form of physical practice, yoga should be practiced carefully under the guidance of a qualified instructor in order to reduce risk. If you’ve been injured in the past, or have been mostly sedentary, consider skipping some of the riskiest poses all together.

A high percentage of yoga-related injuries seem to be caused from the following more advanced poses:

Shoulder Stand

As the entire body applies pressure to the spine, injuries are possible that can radiate downward or out to the shoulders. can result, or worse a serious vertebrae or spinal disc problem.

It’s debatable whether shoulder stands should be performed at all, but for those who do teach the posture because it can be beneficial for things like decreasing the heart rate, they advise using a blanket under the shoulders/neck for support and extra lift.

Other tips for reducing strains in the neck and shoulders include not pushing the neck too far forward and remaining very still in the posture without turning the head.

The Immortal Formula: 5 Reasons Why Seniors Should Do Yoga Kristin McGeeYoga and Pilates Instructor

Kristin is a yoga and pilates instructor helping students and private clients on their path to wellness. She’s worked with celebrities including Tina Fey, Steve Martin and Leann Rimes, as well as nutritionists and other yoga/Pilates instructors.

In my yoga practice, I work with many older people. I remember taking a yoga class years ago from Tao Porchon-Lynch and just being amazed at her gracefulness, agility, mobility, posture and attitude for someone in her late 80’s or anyone for that matter.

One of my favorite yoga teachers when I first started teaching used to tell us that yoga makes you age in reverse. I have to believe that it’s kind of true. Here are some of the reasons why seniors should do yoga.

How Yoga Works And How It Can Help To Improve Your Balance

Yoga is a great way to increase your activity level, tone muscles and ease aching joints, all while working on your balance. Both enjoyable and gentle, yoga ??has emerged as the activity of choice for many older adults.

Yoga includes certain poses which are directly intended to target your sense of balance, these “proprioceptive exercises” train both your body and your brain – challenging your sensory and motor system to perform under specific conditions that can later be applied to everyday activities.

A study in Neuroscience Letters examined the role of proprioceptive exercises in improving balance in a group of subjects over the age of 60. The researchers found that these specialized activities produced the greatest effect when compared to other fitness routines.

The National Strength & Conditioning Association conducted a study looking into the effect of a short-term yoga program on balance in a group of young adults. They recorded a remarkable 228% improvement in balancing ability.

Chair Yoga For Seniors: The Best Yoga Exercise For Seniors

What is Chair Yoga?

Chair yoga is a term used for practices that modify poses so they can be done while seated in a chair. These modifications make yoga accessible to people who find it difficult to stand, aren’t able to move easily from standing to seated to lying down positions That’s why chair yoga is a great way for older adults to get the wonderful health benefits of yoga, loosening and stretching painful muscles, reducing stress and improving circulation. By remaining seated you can safely do the exercises.

Myofascial Tightening Stiffness Due To Decreased Collagen

As we age, we lose flexibility in our muscles and connective tissue, which results in stiffness, imbalance, and less confidence while balancing.How yoga can help: If you don’t use it, you lose it! A regular yoga practice can help reverse some of that acquired stiffness. Gentle, regular stretching can help keep your body fluid and flexible. We’re often as amazed as our yoga students when we see the changes that habitual stretching and movement can confer. You don’t have to touch your toes, but yoga might get you a little closer to them.

Are There Any Simple And Easy Yoga Poses For Seniors

Sukshma Yogais a practice that uses small motions to open up the subtle energy channels in the body. Sukshma Yoga techniques are incredibly simple and easy and lead to deep relaxation. People of every age can practice and receive the benefits of these exercises, which can be practiced alone or within a larger sequence. The routine includes gentle exercises for the eyes, tongue, jaw, neck, hands, feet, knees, ankles, and hips. Check out Sukshma Yoga Exercises to Relax You in 7 Minutes.

What Are The Different Benefits Of Yoga For Seniors

Yoga helps keep the joints steady and flexible.

Helps maintain healthy bones and muscles.

Improves digestion and clears bowel movements.

Regulates blood pressure.

Perhaps, one of the best things about yoga for seniors is the chance to mingle and bond with others. This priceless addition keeps the mind engaged and happy, alleviating depression and loneliness. Enjoy your yoga at any age. Just keep some guidelines in mind.

Worst Exercises For Seniors And Better Alternatives

Mark Norey, CPT

When you’re over 50, working out can easily lead to injury. So, avoid the worst exercises for seniors and try lighter versions instead.

Age might be just a number, but not when it comes to fitness and working out. The older you are, the more prone to injuries and complications your body is.

So even though some might be in top shape at the age of 50, they’re definitely not spared from any health issue and injury.

Below are the most dangerous exercises for seniors, including one trending workout that can lead to fatal complications if you’re over 50.

Importance Of Physical Activity To Prevent Dementia

Physical activity to prevent dementia In studies investigating the effect of various factors upon dementia, exercise and physical activity have consistently turned out to be the most effective.Even though the direct impact of exercise upon dementia is not properly established, the advantages of physical activity in terms of reducing the dementia risk factors are undeniable.

How Does Yoga For Seniors Differ From General Yoga

The yoga asanas suggested for an elderly person may be the same as those for a younger individual. The difference lies in the effort and time spent in a posture, and the flexibility involved. However, if you have high endurance levels, you will be able to perform the cardiovascular movements and abdominal exercises to satisfaction.

More Exercise Means More Independence For Seniors:

Seniors that exercise regularly are less likely to depend on others. According to Harvard Medical School, regular exercise promotes an older adults ability to walk, bathe, cook, eat, dress, and use the restroom. If self-reliance is a priority, exercise is one of the best ways to maintain independence for older adults.

Chair & Standing Routines: Ageless Yoga Volume 1

Led by Harvard University Center for Wellness instructor John Schlorholtz, this is a great chair yoga DVD for older adults who have difficulty getting down on the floor. It features a variety of routines that offer you a choice of either sitting in a chair or using a chair for stability while standing.

Reasons To Practice Yoga In Your 70s And Beyond

1. Improve balance

Yoga tones muscles and works on your proprioception — your sense of position in space. Practicing postures that emphasize standing and balance can help build strength and confidence, too. “About 80 percent of proprioception is in your ankles, so standing poses are important, particularly for people in their 70s,” explains Payne “As you get more sedentary, your sense of balance atrophies. ‘Use it or lose it’ really does apply.”

You can save on eye exams, prescription drugs, hearing aids and more

2. Sharpens your mind

Unfortunately, as we age, our thought processes aren’t as sharp as they once were. The upshot: A 2016 International Review of Psychiatry study reported that practicing yoga relaxation techniques for 30 minutes had immediate beneficial effects on brain function and performance among people with multiple sclerosis. “Focusing on the breath and synchronizing it with movement helps keep the mind clear and engaged,” Atkins says. Breathing exercises such as alternate-nostril breathing help harmonize the left and right hemispheres of the brain, which correlate to the logical and emotional sides of the personality.

3. Boosts mood

Yoga’s combination of breathing, meditation and movement creates an overall sense of well-being. In fact, studies show yoga has a greater impact on enhancing mood and reducing anxiety than other forms of exercise. The reason? Yoga boosts levels of the brain chemical GABA, which helps calm nerves.

Alternatives In The Practice Of Yoga For Seniors

There is a possibility that, if an older adult is very physically challenged, he or she can do yoga for seniors sitting down in a chair, simplifying some postures and avoiding others. The sequences can be regulated to the rhythm of each practitioner and can even be done in their own homes.

The best part of a yoga routine at home is that it’s easy to adapt to the skills of a senior, home workouts are 100% customizable. As long as there is desire, medical approval, knowledge of the discipline, and care of the body, any movement is a possibility.

Older adults may perform the traditional asanas, however, they’re likely to require more effort, take longer to move from one to another and achieve goals, and demand more caution, so that the priority is to keep you safe and comfortable.

Many times the spirit is there, but the physical and good health are not. The body becomes a limitation when there is energy but no physical possibility to perform as you would like. And that inevitably translates into suffering and the older adult becoming closed to the possibilities of activating their physical potential. They feel diminished and enter a labyrinth from which they can’t find the way out to feel better.

It’s true that older adults are more fragile as the body naturally wears out with the passage of time but well trained, we should be able to avoid suffering.Staying active and healthy can be achieved in many ways even for yoga beginners that have not been that active in their youth.

Strike A Pose: The Benefits Of Yoga For Seniors

Have you ever considered trying yoga? September is Yoga Month, so it might just be the perfect time to give it a go!

What is yoga?

Originating in India around 6 B.C., yoga is a mind, body, and spiritual practice that blends physical poses and breathing exercises to achieve peacefulness of body and mind, helping participants relax and manage stress and anxiety.

Also called postures, yoga poses are movements intended to increase flexibility and strength. From lying flat on the floor while completely relaxed to complex moves that require intense balance and practice, yoga poses can range from simple to challenging.

Because breath signifies your vital energy, controlled breathing is a key component of yoga. Yoga practitioners believe that controlling your breathing pattern can help you control your body and calm your mind.

There are many styles, forms, and intensities of yoga. A good choice for stress management, hatha yoga is one of the most common styles; its slower pace and easier movements also make it a good choice for beginners and for seniors.

Safe for older adults?

Older adults should be sure to talk to their healthcare provider before beginning yoga if they have any of the following:

A herniated disk

A risk of blood clots

Eye conditions, including glaucoma

There are several proven benefits for people who practice yoga regularly:

Stress reduction

Improved physical fitness

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Yoga For Seniors: Recommendations For Beginners

If you’re a senior who has never done yoga or are resuming it long after you’ve stopped, it’s ideal to start with a gentle routine because you may have lost muscle mass and stretching ability.

Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind before you dive into the world of yoga:

Don’t practice without prior medical consultation

Wear comfortable clothes that allow you to move freely

Prepare the body with a series of joint movements to warm it up.

Learn the exercises under the supervision of a professional to avoid getting hurt. Then you can continue to do them alone but once you know the guidelines.

Warn the instructor if you have injuries or previous surgeries and ask all your doubts.

Don’t eat large amounts of food before class. The lighter you feel, the more enjoyable the practice.

Don’t force your moves, don’t let anxiety win you over! Little by little you’ll evolve in your possibilities

So keep in mind that there is a yoga practice available for you that will do you good physically, psychologically, and socially. It’s never too late for you to start, on the contrary, it’s a great initiative to keep you lucid. Try to improve yourself but avoid overexertion.

The Health Benefits Of Exercise In Older Adults

Our biology changes as we get older, causing seniors to have different reasons for staying in shape than younger generations. Though physical fitness provides benefits at any age, the health perks physically fit seniors enjoy are more notable. Physicians and researchers say seniors should remain as active as possible, without overexerting one’s self. In older adults, exercise helps you live a longer, healthier, and more joyous life.

Some of the benefits of exercising later in life include:

An Introduction To Gentle Yoga For Older Adults Margaret ManningHealth and Fitness

When I ask the members of the Sixty and Me community what is holding them back from building their dream life after 60, poor health and excess stress are the two most common answers.

It sometimes feels like, by the time we reach our 60s, we have a lifetime of tension locked in our bodies. On the inside, we feel young and vibrant. On the outside, we feel more than a little stiff, tired and out of shape.

The problem is that, when we feel disconnected from our bodies, everything else in our lives suffers. We are more irritable around our friends and family, causing unnecessary tension. We are less likely to get out into the world and pursue our passions. We are limited in our travel options. Simply put, when our bodies are suffering, we suffer.

Exercise Helps Prevent And Counteract Disease:

Heart disease, osteoporosis, depression and diabetes are common diseases among older adults, and are often deadly. Fortunately, adopting a more active lifestyle can contribute to the prevention of these diseases, or reduce the unpleasant symptoms of these diseases if you already have them. If you are at-risk for disease, exercise may be the key to warding off an unpleasant condition.

Yoga Keeps The Mind Sharp And Reduces Anxiety

Yoga allows you to slow down your breathing and meditate, creating a quiet time for calm reflection. Giving your mind a break from the frantic pace of everyday life can relieve stress and keep you centered and organized. Many people who practice yoga regularly report improvement in their mood and sleep patterns.

To learn more about which yoga poses can help with a variety of health conditions facing seniors, .

Yoga For Seniors: Everything You Need To Know

More and more people in their later years are discovering the mental, physical, and emotional benefits of yoga for seniors.

Maybe you know someone who has started doing yoga, and you have become interested in starting yoga yourself. Maybe you are living with pain or ailments, and you are interested in if and how yoga can help you. In this article, you can read all about the benefits of yoga, how to start a yoga practice, which classes might be for you and you’ll get recommendations on resources to help you get started.

A lot of people feel intimidated by the postures shown when you google yoga and think that yoga is only for the already fit and flexible. Nothing could be further from the truth! All you have to do is make sure you are choosing yoga poses that suit you. If you are uncertain in any way about your physical abilities to start yoga, first speak with your doctor or healthcare professional. They will be able to guide you and also make sure that you are aware of any specific movements or breathing techniques that you should not be doing. 

Yoga is an easy practice to get into and there are classes and routines for all body types, fitness, and experience levels. You are never too old to start yoga!

Do Yoga Asanas Boost Immunity In The Elderly

Here again, the Patanjali Yoga Sutras provide a clue. “Heyam Dukham Anaagatam.” It means, ‘Avoid the misery that has not yet come.’ As we grow older, the efficiency of the immune system deteriorates, paving the way for various diseases. Regular practice of yoga techniques such as asanas, pranayama and meditationcan help avoid these conditions. So make your life happier and more fulfilling with yoga.

Yoga Is For Everyone Especially Older Adults

One of the biggest misconceptions about yoga is that it is designed primarily for younger people, who want to increase their flexibility. In reality, no group can benefit more from yoga than older adults.

In the introduction video, Cat talks about one of her students that came to her class with a challenging medical condition. This person was unable to twist or raise her hands above her shoulders, but, after just a few months of practice, she was able to work her way up to a handstand.

Of course, yoga is not a replacement for traditional medicine and you should always talk with your doctor before starting any new exercise program, but, the results that people see are often powerful and surprising.

Gentle yoga is perfect for older adults. It’s easy to get into. It’s a self-paced activity that we can do from the comfort of our own homes. Perhaps most importantly, it addresses many of the specific challenges that we face as we age including sore joints, stress, muscle tension, flexibility and balance.

Yoga For Seniors Promotes Your Overall Well

Yoga practice is a wonderful form of exercise at any age. Research shows yoga benefits your mental and physical health, helping to strengthen muscles, improve balance, lessen anxiety, improve depression, and decrease your risk of falls.

When beginning a yoga practice, find an in-person beginner’s class or follow along with online videos. Be sure to find a type of yoga that works best for you, looking for classes titled restorative, hatha, beginner, or chair yoga.

When starting any fitness routine, be sure to speak to your physical therapist or healthcare provider. In addition, be sure to schedule your daily Snug check-in so you’re not just healthy, but safe. If your family member or friend opted to receive your daily check-in, they know you safely completed your workout — and perhaps your newly-formed fitness routine will encourage them to start their own.

Chair Yoga For Seniors: A 30 Minute Routine

You might want to do this chair yoga routine along with your older adult so they can watch your movements.

It’s a fun activity to do together and you’ll get the health benefits too!

The only equipment that’s needed is a sturdy chair that allows your older adult’s feet to touch the floor.

An optional accessory is a belt, , or long hand towel to aid in stretching.

In case you want to skip around, we’ve noted the time markers for each section of the routine.

Warm up poses for heat and circulation This is a great way to warm up the body, improve flexibility, and reduce pain.

This section lasts 10 minutes and could be a nice short routine in itself.

Standing poses for balance and strength These yoga poses are done while holding on to the back of the chair.

If your older adult isn’t strong or balanced enough to do this section safely, it might be safer to skip it.

Lower body poses for flexibility In this section, a belt or strap helps with stretching – any long belt, , small towel, or sturdy rope will do.

Even if your older adult doesn’t use a belt, they can still benefit from the movements.

Shavasana is a restful pose usually done at the end of a yoga class. Just relax and focus on breathing slowly and deeply.

Instructor Sherry wraps up the class.

Exercise Improves Balance For Older Adults:

Falling down is a much bigger deal for older adults than younger ones. Every 11 seconds, an older adult is admitted to an emergency room for a fall-related injury, and every 19 minutes, a senior dies from a fall, according to the National Council of Aging. Though no two falls are alike, and preventing falls is very complex, regular exercise reduces the likelihood of falling by 23%.

Yoga For Seniors: Is It Right For Everyone

Lately I’ve seen more than a couple of very fit, good-looking senior men in dance, yoga, and Pilates studios. They may be trendsetters who are so secure in their masculinity that they’re not afraid to try out new moves.

Yoga studios have popped up everywhere, but what do seniors need to know about yoga as it is suitable for senior bodies?

The Best Types Of Yoga For Senior Citizens

Whether you’re aiming to get stronger and more flexible or you just want to decompress and still your mind, yoga can help. But with the dozens of different styles that exist, it can be tough to figure out which type is most appropriate for you. Remember that a key consideration is your physical condition and fitness level. Always consult your healthcare provider before beginning any new exercise regimen.

Here are eight types of yoga that may offer what you need:

Why Is Yoga For Seniors A Perfect Activity

You don’t need to be young or flexible to practice Yoga – it is a state of mind and not of body. That is why Yoga for Seniors is such a great activity. * Its can assist with regaining control and confidence * It can prevent falls * It can make your body stronger, improve and maintain their physical mobility Learn about the benefits of Yoga for seniors and the methods to practice Online #Yoga #Seniors #falls

What Is The Best Type Of Yoga For Seniors

What Is the Best Type of Yoga for Seniors? Center

has gained popularity for its positive effects on mind and body. It’s an ancient practice that has deep spiritual and philosophical roots, consisting of:

Yama: Abstinence from unhealthy food and practices

Asanas: Postures or movements

Ahaar: practices

When performed correctly, yoga is believed to balance “chakras” or points of energy in the body, helping to maintain optimal health and mental wellness.

What Are The Benefits Of Yoga For Seniors

Older adults who struggle with , joint , imbalance, osteoarthritis, and other physical limitations can benefit from incorporating a yoga practice into their daily routine. Strengthening the core muscles and improving balance also prevent the likelihood of falling, which can be a common concern as people get older. 

Physical and mental benefits of yoga include:

Building muscle strength

Enhancing balance, flexibility, and mobility

Alleviating aches and cause by bad posture

Promoting better breathing and helping with lung issues

Helping with weight loss

Benefits Seniors Can Gain From Doing Yoga

Movement is essential to keeping the body strong and functioning well, far into old age. This can be a bit tricky when our bodies decide to go against us as we age, causing stiffness, soreness, and loss of mobility.

Luckily, there are long-practiced exercises associated with benefiting seniors, such as water aerobics and lawn bowls. But what about yoga?

Yoga is something anyone can enjoy, no matter their age, size, or ability. Yes, some people are incredibly flexible and make it look completely impossible! But that’s only a goal and not a necessity. There’s no reason why seniors shouldn’t enjoy yoga, and there are many reasons why they should.

There are so many benefits the seniors can enjoy from practicing yoga. Here we have picked the top 6 that you should know about, and we’ll explore them together.

Regular Exercise Improves Brain Function:

One of the most remarkable developments in health science is the revelation that the mind and the body are much more closely linked. A healthy body likely means a healthy mind, and seniors that exercise on a regular basis have improved cognitive health, according to research from NCBI. More recently, a study from the Alzheimer’s Research & Prevention Foundation, regular exercise has been shown to reduce your risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease or dementia by nearly 50%.

Why Yoga For Older Adults Is So Important

Since good health is central to finding happiness after 60, I set out to find a solution to the problems of stress, tension and pain that many of you told me that you were dealing with.

After talking with experts in various fields, I settled on gentle yoga as the best place to start and set out to find an amazing teacher. Eventually, I had to send my team all the way to beautiful Bali to work with the amazing, Cat Kabira.

Cat is an amazing woman, filled with warmth, generosity and passion. She has also been teaching yoga for 14 years and has worked with thousands of people over the age of 60. We absolutely fell in love with her!

Before we filmed the actual yoga sequences, we sat down with Cat to film a short introduction to gentle yoga video that you can watch on this page. Our goal was to demystify some of the aspects of yoga and talk about its transformational potential. Even if you decide never to purchase a yoga video or attend a class, I hope that you will take the time to watch this introduction.

Here’s what I learned from Cat’s introduction to gentle yoga for older adults.

Yoga Doesnt Require Any Special Equipment

Another misconception about yoga is that it requires lots of expensive equipment to get started. It’s true that having a yoga mat can make your yoga journey more comfortable – especially if, like me, you have sore knees. But, the truth is that many of the yoga instructors I talked to said that they started without any equipment at all.

In the introduction to gentle yoga video at the end of this article, Cat explains some of the equipment that you might want to consider using. She also provides alternatives to some of the more popular items. For example, books can make an excellent substitution for a yoga block and pillows can replace a bolster.

The bottom line here is that money should never be a reason to avoid starting your yoga journey. Yes, yoga videos, mats, blocks and bolsters help. But, even if you just visit your local library and check out a book on yoga for free, that’s a great start too.

Yoga Can Be A Gateway To A Healthier Life

Perhaps the most important message that I took away from the introduction to gentle yoga for older adults video is that yoga is a gateway to a healthier life. Earlier, we talked about the negative spiral that we enter when our health prevents us from engaging in the world.

The opposite is also true.

As you begin your yoga journey, you will start to feel different in your body and your mind.

As you gain confidence and flexibility, you will be more likely to step out into the world and explore your passions. As you eliminate stress and tension from your body, your relationships with others will improve. As you learn to listen to your body, you will gain an appreciation and respect for the nutrients that it needs and will be more likely to make healthy eating choices.

If I have one wish for our gentle yoga video series, it’s this – I want as many people as possible to get on the path to a healthier life after 60. I want us to break the stereotypes about aging and show the world, and more importantly ourselves, that life after 60 can be filled with vitality, energy and passion.

Have you tried yoga before? What was your experience? What is the one thing that you would most like to get from your yoga practice? What is the one thing preventing you from getting started? Please add your thoughts in the comments below.

How To Start Practicing Yoga For Seniors

Yoga practice increased dramatically in popularity in recent years, with the number of yoga practitioners raising from 20.4 million to 36 million from 2012 to 2016 according to the Yoga Alliance. In addition, there are more older practitioners than ever before, with over 14 million practitioners over the age of 50.

These numbers tell you that yoga is for everyone — including older adults. With that said, you should always exercise caution when starting a new fitness program. Work directly with your doctor or physical therapist when devising an exercise plan, and work within your fitness level.

Here are a few yoga-for-beginners tips to help you get started: 

Find a yoga teacher: Check your local library, YMCA or YWCA, or Silver Sneakers clubs for a list of yoga classes. You may be surprised to find free or discounted classes for seniors. 

Follow along on YouTube: If you live in a rural area or somewhere that in-person classes are not available to you, follow along with yoga videos online. Below, we’ll share a few yoga videos for seniors. 

Find the type of yoga that works best for you: Hatha yoga, restorative yoga, and yoga with chair exercises are usually more suitable for older adults because they’re slower paced. They involve holding poses for longer periods of time. Vinyasa, ashtanga, and power yoga are fast-paced yoga practices, with inversions and other advanced movements.

Yoga Promotes Good Bone And Joint Health

As you age, your bones naturally lose density and joints become stiffer. A gentle yoga practice can be effective in preventing and slowing bone density loss, and is safe for those with osteoporosis. Whether you are looking to prevent osteoporosis or relieve painful symptoms caused by an existing bone condition or fracture, yoga postures and stretches can be extremely beneficial. Regularly moving your joints can help reduce stiffness and joint tenderness.

Tell your yoga instructor about any bone conditions you have. He or she may be able to provide you with props such as blocks, straps, and inflatable balls that can help you avoid further injuries.

What Are The Best Yoga Poses For Seniors

Yoga is great for older adults, but it’s important to attempt yoga poses only after consulting a doctor and only under the guidance of a trained professional. Those with conditions such as uterine prolapse, , disk herniation, or advanced may need to avoid certain yoga poses.

Standing yoga poses

Helps keep the spine straight, preventing slouching

Helps strengthen the arm and leg muscles, encouraging stability

Sitting yoga poses

Helps clear bowel movements, regulating

Stretches the thighs and knees, reducing joint and pain

Shishuasana

Relaxes the back and helps relieve backache

Marjariasana

Strengthens the back and shoulders

Shalabhasana

Tones the neck and back muscles, increasing flexibility

Tones the abdominal organs and improving digestion

Pawanmuktasana

Helps release and relieve digestive issues

Increases blood circulation to the hip joints, releasing tension in that area

Chair yoga poses

Also called desktop yoga poses, these are convenient because they can be performed while sitting on a chair. Neck roll, cow stretch, seated forward bend, eagle arms, seated spinal twist and temple rub are all chair yoga poses that have huge health benefits:

Relaxes the neck and back muscles

Helps alleviate body pain, tension, and

Increases flexibility

What Kind Of Asanas Are Best For Seniors

If you are easily fatigued, it is best to substitute warm-ups for walking and gentle joint movements, such as wrist and ankle rotations. 

Standing yoga postures such as Triangle Pose .

Yoga postures done while lying on the back or stomach, such as Cobra Pose can help to strengthen the back and increase flexibility in the spine.

Yoga Nidra, or , is by far the most essential part of any yoga practice, and with age, the pose becomes even more essential to help assimilate the effects of yoga practice into the body.

Tai Chi And Qigong Exercises For Seniors

Tai Chi! Qigong and Tai Chi are ancient Chinese exercises that have numerous proven benefits in users such as decreasing anxiety and mental depression, improving cognitive skills, strengthening muscles and bones, and many more besides. After spending ages researching the effects of these exercises, we bring to you today’s post: how can practice Qigong and Tai Chi positively affect the lives of many seniors?

Yoga Helps Seniors Become More Flexible

Yoga involves gentle, guided stretching, which can help seniors develop greater flexibility and improve their range of motion. A limited range of motion can make older adults predisposed to falls and get in the way of daily activities. Increased flexibility can help keep seniors safe and allow them to care for themselves more independently.

Many yoga postures help with spinal flexibility. Keeping the spine flexible reduces the likelihood of stiffness and pain in the back and neck, helping you feel younger and healthier.

Strengths And Limitations Of This Study

This is the first randomised controlled trial to explore the effects of yoga on well-being compared with a physically active and inactive control group among elderly adults.

Inclusion of both active and inactive control groups enables comparison of the effects on several levels, including indirect effects of the yoga intervention.

All exercise will be free of charge, instructor-led and undertaken at established fitness centres, decreasing the risk of adverse events.

Generalisability of study findings may be limited by a healthy entrant bias.

Subjective measurements of physical activity could overestimate activity levels.

How Should Seniors Practice Yoga Asanas

The Yoga Sutras define Asana as “sthira sukham asanam,” which translates into “that which is stable and comfortable is an asana.” In layman’s terms, any posture held with awareness in a stable and comfortable manner constitutes an asana. So don’t worry – twisting yourself into a pretzel is not the only way to practice yoga! As long as you move with awareness of your breath, body, and mind, you are practicing yoga.

Best Yoga Poses For Seniors And Adults

For many seniors, aging comes with inevitable health problems. Stiff joints, aching backs and less energy are just some of the things facing seniors, not to mention potential concerns like heart disease, obesity and mental health disorders.

Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to help older adults manage their health and well-being. A combination of healthy eating, routine medical care and exercise can help seniors feel healthier and stronger. Yoga offers a great way for seniors to get moving, practice mindfulness and improve their overall health.

Check out the infographic below to learn more about these great yoga poses for seniors.

Upward Salute

Eases back pain and stiffness

Supports those with low mobility

Safety And Comfort Is The Top Priority

The number one priority is to keep your older adult safe and comfortable.

None of these movements should hurt.

Make sure your older adult moves slowly and gently and pays attention to their body. It’s better to do a little less rather than risk injury.

Older adults should follow the instructor’s movements only as far as is comfortable.

Even if they only do a fraction of the range of motion or have to skip some movements, they’ll still benefit from the exercises.

Over time, their flexibility and strength will improve and they’ll be able to do more and more.

Getting Started Safely And Confidently

If you have a chronic condition, balance issues, or injuries, talk to your doctor about how you can exercise safely. For example, if you have osteoporosis, you can participate in yoga—but you may need to avoid forward bends and twists. But with proper medical guidance, even people who have previously fallen or been seriously injured can get stronger with yoga.

Then, keep in mind that teaching styles may vary between yoga classes and instructors, so it’s a good idea to call your local studio or fitness center before committing to a new class.

“Let them know what your concerns are, particularly if you have any health conditions,�� says Sage Rountree, yoga instructor and coauthor of Lifelong Yoga. “They might steer you toward something that’s an even better fit for you than what you might choose for yourself.”

The Benefits Of Yoga For Older Adults

Yoga cultivates a mind-body connection, combining stretching and strengthening postures with deep breathing and relaxation. Despite its roots in Eastern philosophy, yoga as practiced in the West is generally focused on physical fitness. It still has a aspect, but it is not overtly religious. People of all faiths and belief systems can benefit from participating in yoga.

Because the poses

Here are some of the benefits of yoga for seniors:

Yoga Poses To Avoid With Osteoporosis

The National Osteoporosis Foundation estimated that osteoporosis affected 12 million people as of 2010. Osteoporosis puts your bones at risk for fracture, which can compromise the ability to do daily tasks, cause severe pain, negatively affect your posture and shorten your spine. Yoga can help people with osteoporosis by offering weight-bearing exercises to stimulate bone growth. The risks of certain poses outweigh the benefits when you have osteoporosis.

Copd Chronic Bronchitis And Emphysema

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease , chronic bronchitis, and emphysema make breathing very challenging and limit your ability to do cardiovascular activities.How yoga can help: Yoga is low impact. For this reason, it is a useful movement practice if you have COPD or similar respiratory problems. Additionally, a yoga practice often has pranayama, or breath practices. Focusing on inhaling and exhaling can be useful if you have a chronic breathing problem, since breathing exercises can potentially help strengthen muscles used in respiration. Time spent in mindful breathing can also help you have more awareness of your breath; noticing when you get breathless or when you feel short of breath can help you seek treatment quickly.

The Only Yoga Rule You Need To Follow

The Yoga Sutras contain bits of wisdom and yoga philosophy. This text is one of the earliest yoga books. Regarding yoga poses, the sutras don’t say much. Yoga sutra 2.46 tells us simply that yoga poses should be steady and comfortable. Knowing that this is the only prescription for the poses frees us from feeling like our yoga practice has to look a certain way. A yoga student can do a handstand, or not; a lunge, or not; a balance pose, or not. Your practice is your practice. Find strength and ease, and do what works for you.

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What Type Of Yoga Is Best For Seniors

The best type of yoga for seniors is one that can be done gently and in which you can take your time to perform the different poses. Within the several styles of yoga available are those specifically designed for the elderly that are practiced at a slower pace and allow you to stop as your body requires.

If you don’t find classes specifically designed for seniors, you can opt for a quiet style of yoga for beginners. Both Kripalu and Viniyoga are good alternatives since they fit the current need of each practitioner. Iyengar yoga is another option as it gives much prominence to the use of objects, which favor the construction of asanas.

Restorative yoga is a good option because it’s a meditative and gentle form of yoga, in which you release tension without stretching. However, the postures are usually maintained for a long time, so you must pay attention that this isn’t annoying or harmful for you.

There is also a type of yoga called Sukshma Yoga in which the whole body relaxes with easy exercises for the eyes, jaw, tongue, neck, hands, hips, knees, ankles, and feet. It’s well suited for seniors who want to perform simple movements with gentle stretches and combine them with breathing techniques.

What Kind Of Asanas Should Seniors Do

The types of asanas that seniors should do are those that are done standing up or those that can be done with some support, that means sitting, lying down, or in a chair since they’re best suited to their needs. In this way, you’ll be preserving your integrity if your balance fails, and you won’t be exposing yourself to the complications that investments can bring, for example, if you suffer from high blood pressure.

What happens with inverted asanas is that the legs are above the heart and the heart is above the head, and that tends to raise the blood pressure and even the eye pressure. In addition, the throat can be squeezed and cause breathing to be difficult, which also causes blood pressure to rise.

In kneeling asanas or sitting on a chair or mat you can roll your neck, bend forward and twist your body. You can also adapt asanas such as the cat-cow by curving the back and lifting the chest, and conversely, by hollowing out the back and dropping the head forward. Or by putting your arms in an eagle pose: you stretch both arms forward, cross your right arm over your left one, bend your elbows and meanwhile bring your palms of your hands together in front of your nose. This asana is perfect for pain relief if you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

Yoga For Seniors With Lower Back Pain

You can adapt your yoga for senior sessions if you have lower pain back whenever you have a contracture or discomfort. You’ll need to strengthen your core, give flexibility to your spine, and focus on maintaining an overall correct posture because you may be compensating for a bad postural habit with your lower back.

This condition is very common and usually has a mechanical origin. In many cases, it can be due to the fact that we spend a lot of time from our days sitting in front of a computer, stressed out, and not caring about alignment. It’s also due to the fact that we lead a sedentary life, don’t exercise, and our abdominal muscles are weak. This has repercussions on our lower back, causing pain, which limits you.

If you suffer from any pathology that requires medical attention, make sure that your doctor/physio approves your yoga sessions. That way, you’re ready to recover on the mat! Or why not in the chair? Many times, when we have back pain, our legs become rigid and it’s convenient to work sitting down to restore mobility to both the lower back and the extremities.

There are some details that we can take care of during our yoga class, such as gently disarming the forward bending postures with your knees slightly bent. You can also use accessories, which assist you in the movements and poses. Making conscious movements using abdominal strength, and not the lumbar, is key to avoiding discomfort in the area.

Yoga For Seniors: How To Get Started

You’re never too old to reap the rewards of yoga. For seniors who are looking for a safe, effective way to enhance their physical health and overall wellness, the stretching, breathing, and meditation practices of yoga can be a great solution. In fact, as you will see, doing yoga regularly can result in a host of benefits for older adults, from greater flexibility and improved balance to lower stress and better sleep.

It’s no wonder, then, that yoga is becoming increasingly popular among seniors. The 2016 Yoga in America Study found that nearly 14 million Americans over the age of 50 practiced yoga that year. That was a significant jump from the four million who did so in 2012.

This article outlines the many benefits of senior yoga and describes several of the best types of yoga for older men and women . It also offers information about basic poses and explains what you should do before you begin any yoga routine. And it even provides examples of helpful books, videos, and DVDs as well as tips on how to find appropriate classes.

Reasons To Practice Yoga In Your 50s

1. Minimize hypertension

“Yoga has a powerful effect on stress and hypertension and can help people reduce the amount of medication they need,” says Amy Wheeler, yoga professor at California State University at San Bernardino. In a review of 17 studies published in Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine, researchers reported significant reductions in blood pressure for interventions incorporating three basic elements of yoga practice: postures, meditation, and breathing. Researchers speculate that the slow, controlled breathing inherent in yoga practice decreases nervous system activity, which helps manage blood pressure levels.

2. Strengthen bones

“People in their 50s often develop the beginning stages of osteoporosis and low bone density,” notes Melinda Atkins, a yoga teacher in Miami. Studies consistently show that the weight-bearing activity of yoga helps slow bone thinning, reducing the risks of osteoporosis, particularly among postmenopausal women.3. Keep excess pounds at bay

Reasons To Practice Yoga In Your 60s

1. Reduce anxiety

Yoga induces the relaxation response, an alpha state between awake and asleep that helps modulate the way the body responds to stress. When faced with a potential threat , your heart beats faster, your muscles tense and you start to sweat. Yoga stops this process in its tracks, reducing your heart rate, lowering blood pressure and easing respiration. Case in point: A 2015 study published in the Journal of Complementary and Alternative Medicine reported that women who participated in a 60-minute yoga class twice a week reported greater reductions in anxiety after the 8-week study period compared to those who didn’t participate.

2. Protect your joints

During your late 50s and early 60s, you may begin to notice that your joints aren’t as fluid as they used to be. Practicing yoga regularly can help lubricate joints, staving off debilitating disorders like carpal tunnel syndrome and . “It’s important to start caring for your joints, to help maintain your independence and preserve your ability to perform daily activities as you get older — things like brushing your teeth, combing your hair, getting dressed,” says Wheeler. Yin yoga, a type of practice where poses are held for up to 20 minutes, may be especially beneficial for lubricating and nourishing the joints.

3. Build strength and balance

[callingitaday]

Terrors

Bucky x Reader  WC:1869 Breathe by Fleurie

I remember being the new person here, not that it was horrible but it was awkward. No one knows how to act. They don't know or trust you but you feel the same. Both don't know what could set another off, how to speak without a soft voice afraid of what could come next. It just a huge fucked up guessing game. The worst part is the new comer doesn't want to be treated like they could break any moment, but no matter what you say it still happens for a while. It's no one's fault.

You were here for a good 6 months before everything settled and everyone was normal. Laughing, teasing and just having a good time in general. No more tiptoeing around our own home. Over this time you and Steve have grown close, he is the big brother you'd never had. He was always there for you when you needed someone to talk to no matter the time or place. He was also so kind and gentle to you, making sure you had what you needed and everything in between. On nights the terrors would come they would eventually lead me to wake up in a cold sweat and tears or Steve waking me up reassuring everything was okay.  You were forever in his debt.  But things changed when Bucky showed up, Steve's oldest friend from the war . From before being a popsicle.  He was stressed about Bucky, if we would except him and not treat him like the monster HYDRA created but lost.

Not that your upset about anything because Bucky needed him more than I do but it's still hard knowing when I have my terrors- I have them alone now. You were the next room over from Barns and he has some really bad ones and Steve helps him through it and he deserves nothing less. You now sit in the dark kitchen with cups of water to calm you. Now and then he would come scuffing into the kitchen for water. Like water was some magic healing shit for them. He was looking at you for a split second before continuing then leave.

Everyone pretty much kept to themselves trying to avoid him altogether . Especially Tony, he was just a ass to him and Steve. Saying that he still is the Winter Solider deep down and one day he might return and not be in our favor and all in all just wouldn't expect him even though he's tried to gain his trust.  You understood how he felt in your own way and didn't tiptoe around him, you hated it and theres no doubt he feels even worst.

I know I enjoyed when someone patted me on the back or gave me a hug, I hadn't had in such a long time I almost forgot what it felt like. So when I get the chance ,walking past him I would drag my hand across his back, pat his shoulder and shoot smiles every time he looked at me.

You may have falling a little bit for this super soldier. But like every day you just keep to yourself.

Tonight's agenda was no different than usual, waking up in cold sweat and tears. Before heading to the kitchen you decided to jump in the shower and rinse of the memories of the night and craved your magic drink. Sitting there in the dark humming some tone you listen early that you have stuck in your head. It was when you refill for the 3rd time that you finally hear him. Its only feet padding the floor but you know its him. He enters with a quick glance. Just watching his back as he fills up his cup, you can see his how tight his muscles are even through his shirt, he's so stiff it looks painful.

" hey, buck?" you said just above a whisper. It was so quite in the house if you spoke any louder you might even scare yourself.  Barns turned around and leaned against the sink, squinting at you before taking a drink. you shrugged your shoulders "care to join me this time?" without an answer he just steps over and takes a seat next to you. He set his water down and hung his head low letting out a deep sigh.

" I have them too you know" he looked up at you " the night terrors, Steve use to help me with them " you gave him a smile . " I know you'd probably rather talk to Steve but I'm here, for you, if you want to talk.... well since I get them too I understand. I mean I don't understand yours but like I get the feelings and what makes me feel better, maybe they could help you?"

Bucky was just looking at you, really intrigued with your words. He was studying your face to the point he had not heard anything after this point. He was looking at your lips, the way they moves when you spoke. The way your eyes widened, squinted and wondered around like you couldn't decided what you could look at. You were memorizing.

"... I'm sorry I just, I just thought  I'd let you know I have them and I'm here for you" you finally finished your rant, all the while . Looking at Bucky but he wasn't quite with you.

"Thanks, doll" he spoke making you smile which he reflects.

You guys stayed there for a while longer until you felt sleepy but instead of leaving you took a chance and laid your head on Bucky's shoulder feeling him tense at the touch, lifting your head back up "no stay" he whispered but you got up and set your cup in the sink. Turning around you held out your hand "okay, come?"  he looked bewildered at the motion but took your hand anyways, grabbing your hand, following you in a trance.

Making it to your bedroom was quite and slow, opening the door stepping in and aside for Buck to enter before closing it. " Steve would always lay with me until I fell asleep, the present of a person always helps me, an anchor to the real world so to say" you stated while crawling into bed. He looked scared and very unsure about what was happening . " it's okay Bucky, let me be your anchor tonight" you pulled the covers back and with a sigh he crawled in.  Bucky laid on his back and I laid on my side, carefully I placed my arm across his stomach. I could feel his stomach clench but I dare not move.

The sunlight was peeking through your blinds right in your face making you grown in annoyance. A chill ran through the room making you pull the covers up. Just laying in the silence for a few minutes until you realize it's to quite. Twisting just enough to look behind you, sadden to see no one's there. Grabbing your phone you realize it late in the morning with it being almost 10, decided to get up and get ready. Throwing on some makeup so we don't look so dead and some Nike legging with white strip up the side, a light sweater paired with running shoes. Satisfied you head downstairs for breakfast and coffee.

"morning sweets" Steve shot over his shoulder which you responded with a' morning' and hug from behind " Have any plans today Cap?" grabbing the eggs and bacon.

" Well I may take Buck out on the town and if I remember right before Wanda left she said she wanted a move night with everyone later" Steve responded as he turned around and asked you the same

" I might actually go out to, I could use some new jeans and some other things but a movie night sounds fun!"  you responded while watching your eggs

" Well see you later Y/N" Steve began to rush out "HEY! get back here"

"Yes?"

" What's going on with you" " Nothing. Nothing why"

"you never just quit conversation and rush out. And your being awkward " you snorted

" nothing really, I swear everything good"

"Fine be that way. But before you run away where's Barns" making him cough "umm, I don't know, gym" he shot back.

Sighing in confusion you finish up your breakfast. Quickly washing your plate off you realize your still feeling a bit hungry you decided to make a beagle

On your way down to the gym while snacking on the beagle, stopping at the wall of photos almost like studying them. It was all of our group photos of exploring, some singles of like Steve n Bucky, Natasha n Bruce and one lucky one of you n Bucky. Until now you hadn't realized the way he was looking at you. Like I dare say loves you more than anything else. Makes you wonder doesn't it?

Your feet finally started to drag you to the destination but they planted like stones just outside the door, completely frozen as you hear Steve tell who I assume is Barns that he should just give in, take a chance, he deserves some good in his life and  " She's good for you Buck, I see the way she's been looking at you lately. Like a light bulb lit up and reality hit her" you peek through the door.

"But Steve what if it's not what you think? I'm really liking the idea of her being mine but I'm scared" Bucky practically cried out.

"Everything will work out okay? have some faith, and really the only way to find out is to talk to her" Steve finished before patting his shoulder and headed to the door.

"shit shit shit " you murmured running around the corner and peeked around the edge until the cost was clear.  Slowly and as casually as possible walking into the room, towards him who had started on the punching bag.

"Hey Buck?" you said just loud enough, but he still jolts, his actions stopping and grabbing the bag.

"H-hey" he breathed

" I just wanted to check on you, did last night help?" you smiles a little

"Um ya actually, I slept well. Thank you, it means a lot"

"Okay ya good I'm glad,  before i leave are you planning on attending Wanda's movie night?

" are you?" you nodded a yes " than ya I'll show my face " causing you to smile, nodding your head and turned to leave. This time not only did your feet stop you but your whole  body . Slowly spinning on your heals  you look back , he's still looking at you.  

You walked up, pausing to look at his face, he's scrunching his eyebrows together but continuing , engulfing him in a huge hug.  Bucky was beyond shocked but quickly hugged back. It was the best feeling he's had run through his vein's in such a long time. He squeezed you harder now becoming addicted to the rush before kissing your head, then you pulled away.

"what was that for" he questions  "because" is all you answer with, " see you tonight James!" you kissed his check and ran out to go get ready

"Maybe everything will work out " Bucky muttered before starting back up.

Tag list : @dugupbeauty @leslie2898 @sophiealiice @xpixelle

Part 2??

[nocancer]

Why It Rains

~~~~ an excerpt from a working novel by Cancer moon. ~~~~~**

Lately I’ve been channeling from a higher source. And it’s not something I have to keep up with. It feels like, natural almost. Like im always at the same level of it, or at least very close. I’m not gonna lie, I was scared at first. Scared that I would fail. Scared that I wouldn’t live up to the expectations I set for myself while meditating. But so far things are looking up. I even got that new computer I wanted. Who knows, for now I’m just gonna keep writing and go from there. I’m not too concerned with the trivial things that life likes to bother us with, seemingly always at the worst times imaginable. I might check out this internet thing too. It’s promoted as this fun happy place and if I didn’t know any better, I’d of taken that for face value, right off the bat like a sucker. Next thing you know the internet turns out to be a cold and lonely place, and I’m left to wallow in my own self-pity, clutching my knees in the fetal position, mad at myself for failing to see the internet for what it is, a stupid marketing scheme. The point is, I have to see for myself. That’s just the type of person I am. You can ask my mom that. She’ll tell you. Ask her about the time I told the guy who was fixing my alternator to shove it when he was trying to charge me a thousand. Mind you, I had the money. But you’re not supposed to be dishonest to me just ‘cause I’m a millenial. The guy pretty much called me that. He said, hey kid, try to be more polite next time. But I never listened. I don’t need advice from a deadbeat greasemonkey. Anyway, apparently everyone’s connected to the cloud via sites like facebook and instagram. And when people log on to jump in on the action, usually the first thing they do is say hi to their friends, and maybe even drop a smile or two to show them they care. And if they drop a heart then you know they already had a chance to settle in, and are just trying to take it to the next level, now that the internet, in all its digital, impermanent page swiping glory, is owned, unabashedly theirs.

Conscious apples of languid rotundity creep along countless borders of a pale grey sky. 

The pears are unwavering in the efforts of embassy, initiating calls backs when the time calls for it, and deceit when grape factions step in and intervene. 

“What are these meddling affairs, young pear?” asked the grape.

“I don’t know. It’s the apples control our every move. How we live. Our daily lives.”

“Hush with that nonsense. You are nothing but a pear, a young one at that, how could you possibly know who’s behind it all?”

“I don’t know.”

The grape and the young pear sat on a brook and wondered who was behind it all.

-------

You see this all-seeing-eye mural in Atlanta? On the side of Ravine across the street from the federal reserve building? Yeah. I could strip down naked and run to the middle of that intersection there and scream my lungs out until i started coughing up blood and act violent to anyone who approached me and i still wouldnt match the frequency of that demonic shit. People walk by it everyday going to work, going to lunch, going to walk their dog, and nobody bats an eye. An eye for the government, an eye for the media, an eye for world hunger. Not a single raised eyebrow goes towards whats in control of every aspect of their daily lives. Oh the president controls my life. But I voted for him, so its okay. Is what they would say, as they munched on Mcdonalds with vaccines in their arms and got mad at traffic because they were going to miss their favorite show. A show that retroactively fed into a never ending problem and response feedback loop that activates the reptilian part of the brain by broadcasting images of rape and pedophilia via techniques that the producers learned at Harvard’s school of broadcasting, which also used a system of coercion, this time in the blind trust the students had for their professors just because they dressed nice and said big words. You’re going places. This kid’s gonna be a star. 

-----

I’m only half of what I am without your other half to complete me. Only kids ask rhetorical questions. But why should I be any different? 

I live by the way side. Wherever the wind takes me. I notice things that most don’t. I’m not sure if what I think is valid or not. I don’t believe anything is valid. Likewise I dont believe anything is invalid. One things for sure. If there’s one thing I know to be true. Is that I’m not an adult. No, Definitely not. 

-----------

Hiksos lamented blast fully daring the credence of all his undoing. Unjust and bashful forwritten to layers upong layers of drug smitten landscapes. 

“Youre good/” Said Jamie.

I see why she likes so much to hate on anyone she can get her hands on. And im not talking about physical hands. No, these are claws of misfortune. --The bad falls into a category still undefined by our human grasp.--

Apples on seminoles. Berries on amazing places we strove for. 

The graveyard was pure and unassuming as a place for the dead should very well be. And with that we took our ritual to newer, more fulfilling levels. Levels of which determine our outlook as shades between optimistic and cautiously realistic. With our futures in the balance, 

“Whatchu think dawg?” said Jerry. He was on his 2nd beer and 5th shot of vodka sprite. and I was on my mind long enough for nothing to be worth a damn. The vibe was dull, and the smoke gone. I lit a cigarette.

“I feel like shit.” 

“You good?”  J

“Yeah but I’m just tired like overall.” About life.

“Why not be happy about life? It’s all in your head. Just flip the switch. Like a light. On and off. Boom. No more stress.”  J

“If only if it were that easy.”

“It is that easy. That’s the thing.”

Sipping heroically, going farther and phasing out all menial contrivances. Searching for myself like the lost land of atlantis. Humanity will get what it deserves. 

“In due time” said Thomas. 

I look at orion and wonder if those faint stars below its belt are actually indicative of a warrior kneeling on one knee with his shield raised or if its a flaccid penis that hangs all the way down to his knee. Im a pervert, always have been. Theres no stopping how much i will crash thoughtforms together in a heinous way until they stick together and form a common truth. I’m on the last life cycle of a cat’s 9 lives. Theres really nothing to lose by being a pervert. I had a friend in high school who said we’re all gay. I dont remember when. He said it more than once. I dont know if he was gay. I didnt think like that back then, but I wouldn’t to be anything other than who I am today. But again, there’s no stopping a mind so spiritual that it can hold each and every possibility at once and consider them valid. Then an external force canceling out my infinity. And I’m left to deal with people as if playing some sick little game thats suppose to teach me a lesson or something. So that I can ascend to the next plane of existence. At least thats what I’ve heard. But when the night hits and everyone finally shuts up for once it seems much simpler than that. Like im watching myself through a lens bestowed on me by a god with no intelligence. And during the day he becomes intelligent, and I’m left trying to keep up with, on his terms. “Fuck you bitch” I tell it often. “Youre not real” I’d say over and over. “What the fuck” is the saying that gives closure to it all. The only reason God looks good on paper is because it’s a testament to the author being strong enough to have it in his mind and make sense of it. It’s a mark people wear like aushwitz that make their beliefs somehow something you should pay attention to because I’m physical and God’s not but I speak of God so therefore God’s physical so you should listen to me. But then thatd make the speaker God. 

By and by I’ve messed up hastily my dreams and aspirations. Tattooed on a building as ink drips down like an inner angst perceiving things as they are, and not what society says they should be. The happy medium an ephemeral code that could shift and shake into any causality one deems it to. The rulers of the world have taken domain over the one thing every human on earth has in common. I call this desire. They call it money. A body that begets greed and turns hatred to lust. Actions which motivate our inhibitions to phantasmagoria. Until we accept our place as lesser than the pettiness of our common folk. Shy and afraid, contingent upon basement dwelling lab rats who fane logic to reasonable bell curves while sucking nature dry of her own resources. The very nature that sunlight reflects upon his incessant rays which batter and tumble the distance. If only they knew she was her and he was them. But it doesn’t go like that here. Because if it did, then all karmas coming to a head would get their just due, and we’d be in purgatory. While heaven remained for the gods and earth for the mortals. And nothing can be God except authority to mortals when they’ve been tricked into accepting the state and thus have become it..

What a lovely home indeed. No one could bother me here. Except for the only one’s I knew. Because nobody knows I exist except for those who know me. I’d rather keep it that way. For a streak of doubt can enter me at any time and cause worry for my future. A future still so far away  because I lack the initiative to care. Maybe that will change now that I have room to breathe. Just when I thought I was going downhill for good, my dad came around for me. And now I have a responsibility to get me up in the morning. No more waiting in line for luck to befall me in my yoga. The truth is, when reality caved in itself, and I could see the dying whispers in the eyes of those around me, I accepted my estrangement from the happy things in life. My avoidance of the dastardly grotesque was keeping me back this whole time. I like darkness and pitiful efforts of circumstance that vibrate low enough to stay hidden from others, but high enough so that it is detectable by my astral receiver. Two of which is an outward expression of another. The extension of material that is necessary for movement to take place. Before this realization I endured through pain of my own doing.  

“How are you?” people would say.

And I never had a response.  

Telepathic centrifuges would scan my mind. Taking flight off far off reaches of iniquity. All facets calling upon a microverse for an answer. I an I. Then they’d be gone without hesitation.  

“Jerry’s calling” said Thomas.

“for what?” This guy wont leave me alone, I thought.

“I don’t know answer it.”

“Why are you bored?” I said.

“Yes, maybe he has weed.” Said Thomas.

“Ay whatsup man. Me and Thomas we’re just talking about you.”

“Oh word?”

“Yeah and then you call its like divine intervention or something?”

“Yeah thomas was tryna find some weed and you the first person he thought of so you must be doing something right.”

“Yo Thomas.”

“Oh hold up let me put you on speaker.” I said quickly.

“Is Thomas there? Yo Thomas.”

“Jerry, whats good?”

“I got the pack man, I heard you was lookin for a come up. I got the pack man.”

“Aight bet cus im bored as a motherfucka right now ya feel me?”

“It aint my fault.”

“Yo he do gotta big ass house tho I aint gone lie but like shit aint got nothin in it.”

“I just moved here a week ago.”  

“So for a whole week- Yo is today Friday?”  

“Yeah its Friday.” Who cares? I thought.

“So that’s last Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, and you still aint got nothin in here but a fridge.”

“You aint even seen the whole house.”

“Nah you know you just in the middle of the carpet with no pillow no blankets or nothin.  

And you wake up and go open the fridge and aint nothin in it. Then you go back to sleep.”

“Ay what he dream about?” Jerry said through the phone.

He aint dream about much ‘cept for one occurring dream. Of a fridge, but this time it’s a mini fridge. And its pink and he’s able to move it around, so he takes it up to his room and opens the freezer door just a little so it’s a little crack and he starts beatin it up till he has a wet dream and wakes up.”

“Alright you took it too far. It was kinda funny before but you killed it.”

“Wait, Where’s the fridge now? It’s not in the kitchen?” Jerry said.  

“Bruh that’s the thing its just in the middle of the living room not even plugged in or nothin.”

“Jerry I know you so concerned about my god damn fridge but this time dude is lying over here.”

haha

“It’s in my kitchen like a normal person. Like I don’t know I guess you think this shit is funny or something but whatever come through and you can see for yourself.” Don’t talk to him he’s a loser was the attitude I was picking up. I thought they we’re beyond all that and capable of extraneous thought. Oh well, I guess I’m done with these idiots.

No more sitting around all day.

If I can see them for who I want, and not who they really are, it’d make no difference. 

It’s a best of both worlds type situation. I just hate that I have to resort to this.

Its a sporadic and unpredictable endeavor that can detach you from life’s depiction. Seemingly framing a purpose in cosmetics among layer-caked mine field of mind clouds. I want to be a positive addition to those around me. And for them to be honest to me in return. Honest  because everything around me is a nuisance. And dishonest It’s not necessary to have car insurance, police, governments. This realm is alive. 3 dimensions respective of splashes and 3rd parties. Because of this fact, I must be able to flow freely, grounded in freedom, estranged to control. Last summer when I jumped into the alleghany i felt freer than i have in a long ass time. Jerry asked me if he thought we’d still be here next year. I told him I didn’t want to think about it. That I was enjoying the moment.

“Man fuck that bitch.” T

“What? Who you callin’ a bitch?” J

“You know what I mean.” Thomas smacked his lips.

“I really don’t but whatever.” J

“Yo Jerry did you leave yet?” 

“How far away is it? Not too bad right?”

   “Nah it’s not too bad you’re like 30 minutes away. You’re in a nice area. Lots of rich people.” J

“Yeah I came up on it. It kinda just happened.”

“Whatchu mean it fell out of the sky?” Jerry asked.

“It’s been in my family for a while and I was lucky enough to be gifted it.” I said.

“That’s dope, you’ll get some good use out of it.”

“Yeah I’ma take advantage of what I got ya know? Make it so anyone can pull up as long as I fuck with them.” I said.

“Thats why I’m comin’ through. 

Just say its the spot and I’m there.”

“For sure. But yo, if youre bringing your girl over then bring some pillows and blankets to sleep on cus I only got mine.”

“I need some too.” Thomas joined in.”

“We’ll stop then.” I said reluctantly.

“

“And where are we gonna chill? We can’t just sit on the floor.” Thomas took his eyes off the road.

“Alright, theres a home depot near the chinese place we’ll go their while we wait.” I said.

“Does Home Depot have blankets?” Thomas said like he was so concerned.

“No but they got that outdoor patio section for furniture and shit, So I don’t know we’ll find something.”

            “They got mad carhartt jackets for the low low there. You should check them out.” 

           “Alright I’ll check them out.” The streetlights suspended time in space.

“Yo spicy egg rolls, add it to the list.” Jerry said finally.

“Sounds good.” Thomas replied. There was a pause.

“You headin’ out?” T

“Yeah. I am. Right now.” Jerry responded.

“A’ight I’ll see you when I see you.” T

I interrupted.

“I was gonna get spring rolls instead and we don’t want too many rolls so you want dumplings instead?” The thought popped into my head and I had to get it out.

“I dont really care either way” Jerry said.

“So yes on the dumplings? Pork, Chicken or beef?” I said.

“Dude I really dont give a fuck.” 

“A’ight peace.”

“Wait actually get some extra spring rolls. I don’t want my breath to stink.” Jerry was a quick thinker.

“Okay. Peace.” 

I ordered the chinese while Thomas turned the radio down.

It was 7:30 on a Friday. Traffic was still out and slow except on the highway. The plaza where Home Depot was sat on an indent so that a perimeter around us denied the sun a chance of bringing light to the inevitable darkness. Highway barricades exalted the east coast away from our position. I closed my eyes and listened to newly formed divinations stemming from a horizontal after-glow. What was AM was now PM. And just as I would prepare for a weekend of contract work,  I too was going to do the same for the night. Because Friday was in the air, telling me I was the cause of it.

Thomas pulled into the lot and flicked his cigarette a stop-sign to an array of F150s and pug-faced express vans that sat high enough to deem his reliable, good on gas mileage, crusty seated hand-me-down first-car shit-box a worthy proponent of wu-wei. It was the type of car that doesn’t speak for anything or reflect an image onto its owner other than its being there. 

At least this one had a little personality though, fashioned by who was behind the wheel, and the fact that I knew him through drive-ways of careless faces, drive-thrus, and drunken waffle house binges where we kept to ourselves and almost forgot it wouldn’t last. And even though the universe proved its worth to me, I cant help but feel theres in imbalance in my past.

That these were just moments. And days would go by. Blunts would get passed. Pets would die. We’d hope to not hear of our relatives dying, but that would happen to. Cause of death? Old age. It wouldn’t say that on the obituary. It was say something safe like stage 4 cancer or hodgekins lymphona. But everyone knows about the cap put on as at birth. That there’s a limit to how long we get to stay here. Sometimes we’d hear of our friends dying too. But those were rare cases. Few and far between. Unless of course you were the type of kid to attract that sort of stuff. Then you probably deserved it anyway. That pain. Irregardless of the pain it takes to die. You imagine how it must have felt in the body of your friend. Like they we’re on the otherside begging you to come with them. I’m free. They’d say. It only hurts a little. And unlike the old people, their obituary would read suicide. Basically an off-hand way of saying they needed jesus. Because in the end, nobody truly knows what would drive someone to do that to themselves. We can speculate all we want. They we’re bipolar. They wore funny clothes to school and we’re bullied as a result. But only someone with special access could consult them on that. To ask them why they denied life and chose death instead. Only someone who could be objective about the whole thing and not get caught up in their emotions could ask them this. In America that’s Jesus, God of funeral homes, shepherd of lost souls. The frustrating part, at least to me, is that all he can come up with is it was Satan’s fault. But that doesn’t do it for me. No. I need more than that. After all, Jesus, you faked your own death and ran away to the pyrynees. Did you not? You we’re too afraid to commit suicide. You half-assed your commitment. Maybe you knew what awaited you resembled a sleepless dream? Certainly you knew another part of you was fit for ascension. But then wouldn’t be the center of attention like you we’re on earth. You’d be around people who knew a light language and we’re just as smart as you, if not smarter. The applied principles of the sun was common knowledge there. That was like basic shit. Nobody was looking for preachers there. What they we’re looking for was way more advanced than your little yoga techniques. Stop hiding and tell us what’s really going on out here. Something tells me it has something to do with Satan, just not in the way you’re telling us. I have a feeling he holds the keys to a piece of knowledge we never even knew existed. If that’s the case, and I find out we’ve been duped, then I might just take it upon myself and offer you the same fate you offered my friend when he was down bad on that fateful Spring night mad at the world and pissed off at the hypocrisy you created for him.  But this time when I get to you I’ll make sure you won’t be down bad. There will be nothing to numb the pain. No. You’re gonna feel this. Then things will come full circle. Order. I like when things happen that way.

“Yo I need paint. “

“ Paint?”

 “I just remembered. For the walls.” I said in a descending volume.

We walked through the doors in the purgatory between store and street. I grabbed a cart.

“Is that what we’re gonna do for fun? Man I might regret this whole night if we end up hanging dry-wall and shit.”

“I hear you bro but we can play poker, I got a speaker so we can bump some music, and we’ll just kick it.”

Thomas strayed passed the check-out lines and almost ran into a stack of wood hanging from a guy’s trolley.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“Where’s the paint?” He said turning around.

We looked like we should be in the city rather than the hardware store. Everyone was looking and I know I’m not paranoid when I say that. We we’re foreigners visiting a small scale metropolis under construction. A place for bandits to face their acrophobia and not make it across to the next tower without getting grime on their gats ort hope they liked our style.

"They got krylons?" I said. The aisle opened up where the rafters stretched through the ceiling leaving ground level two by fours in their dust. If I focused I could hear an echo reverberate off my skull, taking its merry time and judging me before I could hold my breath. “We used to be so into this.”  Thomas said.

“I don’t know why we stopped.”  I said. He took it as a valid question.

“We got older I guess. Fuck.”

“Remember the overpass on Holcomb Bridge? I wonder if our shits still there.” 

“We need to go back there.”

Gum soles in an unfinished basement. This was the most people I’ve ever seen. a’ve ever seen. The fire marshall could’ve came knocking any moment. Though I don’t think anybody would hear him. Lil Pump was 3 doors down. To the fire marshall, is that everyone was moving as one. To the fire marshal, this could be a good or bad thing in the lens of a fire marshall. Good because if someone started popping shots off with an uzi or something and everyone tried to run out the house through the basement side-door, the main one through the hall at the back by the bathroom, or if they went up stairs and found the wrong door and had to jump off the balcony or something, if shit really started to pop off like this, of shit really hit the fan, then it’d be good to have 1 body instead of a hundred. There we’re straddlers of course, but all they’d have to do is hide in its belly folds and hope to not get lost while the body was hauling ass down the street resorting to the dreaded question, “Can I get a ride?” And simply put it’d be bad because human flesh burns quite well when laced with alcohol. That was a risk we were willing to take and that brought us that much closer together.

When I came in with Katie I noticed the crystalline qualities of blonde hair captivated the vibe and were on display in the trim lining. When you looked across it was like some secret edition of the yearbook where everyone didn’t have to pretend they liked each other.

Only this time there were no profiles, only shadows. And instead of signatures there were tattoos on skin that said things like “im too good for you” and “the sky is watching.”

 What collected at the corners were pushed outside to observe that ways a part equidistant to the cups on the table to the enthusiasm among them. This was inside. Everyone needed to make sense and not be meta. You couldn’t point out how we were all here by chance like Tommy did, “xxxxxxx” What an idiot. You couldn’t speculate as to why Rhea spent the whole month showing out for sympathy on twitter and crying at school over her breakup with Nick but is now falling on top of him, grabbing his arm and shit and Nick’s just going with it like he doesn’t care his best friend got sucked off by yours truly in front of everyone at last weeks party and he was there and she was there and it was all fine like nothing happened. “Well Nick got with Mercedes, and her and Rhea ignore each other now. It’s really awkward.” Despite the fakeness, there was an heir of trust unlike any ive ever seen here unlike back at school where we’d be leaning into our cheeks thinking about how to score more brownie points with the cliques we were in.

At least that’s what others were thinking about. The teacher’d be talking about solving for y for the millionth time, you know, moving things around by reverse operations to make sure they maintained the same relationship with one another. I never had to study because when it came time to test it’d be like the answers’d just come to me and I’d end up acing the damn thing. I became known as a smart person who didn’t care so everything canceled out and I was able to stay neutral and move between the punks to get drugs, the nerds to get power, and the popular kids to get access to parties like the one I was at now. I know this all sounds vain, but I guess that’s how it works when you’re a teenager still trying to find yourself when everyone else was doing the same but would rather die then admit it. Now that I look back I realize the whole thing was meaningless. There was no substance, no fulfillment. High School was mostly waiting with small pockets of being thrust into the limelight.   Just a series of empty promises leading nowhere. You could of met your better half completely in the midst of knowing each other at a soul level but all indications were that it wouldn’t last so you made excuses and broke it off before it was too late so that your future could be at least bearable when you we’re laying in your cheeks mad at the world wondering why you were the only thing you could think about. You could rest your heart on your decision. The sex flashbacks at the most random times like talking to your grandma or waiting in line at the grocery store didn’t matter anymore. You could put it all on that. Your decision. 

“Daniel, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Likewise Sharlene, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh how sweet of you to say that to me.”

“Wait, why are you guys being so formal?” Katie said like she overheard.

“We should stop.” Sharlene said. Daniel was taller than all of them.

“How was your day?” His eyes got bigger. Crazy.

“Did you have a good day?” Leaning forward with his back against the counter.

“I did have a good day.” Sharlene said. “Did you?” She put her hand up and when she realized this she snapped them across her face and into his. 

“Mr. Sassy?”

“Mr. Sassy!” Some dude in a hat with lettuce coming out said.

These we’re the types of exchanges that went on inside. Loud but cold. All in the vain of attention seeking like some sort of competition or test of brilliance. Only that this time unlike in normal society, where everyone’s trying to get their point across as clear and concise as possible because focus is king over style, this time brilliance was a stage of show. And whoever could hold onto it the longest was most certainly king or queen and surely the apple of their eye. Their being the cult that was the inside.

The 5 of us ended up by an air conditioning unit. We were staring at the moon thinking about what do next because we were already exhausted. Not because we weren’t faded enough. It was quite the opposite. There was too much judgment. And that was as bad of a high you could get when you were on the other end of it. We were over it. We were desperately passing a blunt I’d been eager to light since I rolled it in the car. 

“I needed this.” Jerry said.

“Yeah? Me too.” I looked at Katie. She’s the one I rolled it with earlier in the day when 4 different people we’re blowing up my phone asking if I was coming and telling me who I could bring or not.

“I don’t know it’s just like the vibe or something. Like something’s off.” Tom said.

Katie was mostly quiet and sipping the blunt with her cute little hands and was gravitating towards Miranda in a nonverbal display of boredom.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Jerry said.

“We really don’t.” I agreed.

“Talk about what?” I’m just saying.” Thomas said after a pause.

“Yeah I know but I’m not about to go behind their backs and gossip like we’re not fuckin’ with it thats cool we can do our own shit.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Is there anything close?”

“You tryna go to waffle house?” 

Katie and Miranda laughed. First Katie snorted then Miranda bent over and held her knees.

“What are y’all tryna do?”

“Uhh can we just get out of here?” Katie said towards the street.

“Yeah. Let’s walk.” I said.

You left your memories with me.

So you could live without you.

You left your past in the dark, and

it was something you did for the hell of it because life

was too easy for you.

 "What's wrong?" I said.

"Leave with me." You said.

"Is something bothering you?" I said.

"No." You were always in the dark.

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but here."

"I can't tell if you're being serious." You threw a rock

down the train tracks, and pointed where I was looking.

"That way's North to Chattanooga." You turned around.

I leaned to the side as if I was peeking down a narrow

hallway.

 "South to Miami. Hmm. It depends." You said rubbing your chin.

"It depends on you finding a girlfriend so you can get back to reality is what it depends on." I said.

I dont think a single car

drove by since we got here. Moving trucks could be seen on the overpass where the crossing signals were, but were inaudible. The only thing audible was the large-scale kithen across the street which would hiss occasionally over its constant hum. It also had steam coming out of it. We walked towards the red-light on stones half the size of our trainers and went to balancing on the rail half to avoid twisting our ankles and half to ammuse ourselves.

"I was gonna say it depends on what's better, a good ol' country bitch who'll cook you catfish till you cant eat no more, or a bad spanish mommy who may or may not be there for you when you really need it."

 "Oh, si senorita Hot like tamales. Muy bueno.

Como te amos rapido rapido mucho Miami me gusto."

"Bro we're hopping trains not borders

you fucking wetback."

"Whoa, hold up ese, you're hopping trains, not me.

Besides, we'll be hopping on a lot more than trains

if we keep this up." I said.

"Trains not borders, puto."

"Man watch your mouth."

"Here comes one now."

ijijiijjiiji

We hid in the bushes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Me fist then the girls and Jerry while Thomas was last in..

"We should of put a coin on their,:

*End graveyard party and go into chapter about family* BONES laden arrows

----

Just say its the spot and I’m there.

“Jerry just texted me.” I said to Thomas.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s bringing Erica.”

“Why was it even a question?” Thomas said. He was flipping his head back and forth at me. Zig-zagging from hinges to nails to glue guns and floor tiles, biding his time, sulking like i was gonna feel sorry for him.

“I don’t know man. I’m sure it had something to do with his roommates not being out.” I said. 

“Well if his initial reaction was him being scared then what that tell you about what he think of us?”

“Nah. You’re thinking too far into it. He’s tryna get her to let him hit.”

So much was out of context. There was disharmony. I continued.

“Maybe there’s something about two dudes without girlfriends that isn’t exactly the most potent

“

Smoke stacks comply and hesitate partaking in sport. Indulging in an aptitude that continues to see how it feels when you say such simple words as “hello, and, thats cool.” That continues to touch a nonverbal membrane when you move in such a way that broke the color barrier between black and white. So I’ll appreciate you like all the others do. Because I, completely and utterly, should know to carry you with me into infinity. And I should know, for a fact, that distance is dependant on its terminal velocity at the moment of impact. Gorgeous you are when tulips gather around cow pastures only to wither away upon the changing of the guard. Tip toes, necromancy, ice skates, all these make sense to me now, that ever since the day of my christening, good beings struck witherto my intelligence and rendered them useless. These knots, the qualities of which we’re twisted, utterly finagled to a degree that crystallized under pressure. I feel like I was born so I could come into people’s live when they needed someone to blame their problems on. That’s why I always get those stupid looks. Sometimes I just wanna ask them like “what the fuck are you on?” I guess all those diamonds couldnt teleport you out of here huh? Too bad. I ain’t judgin’. 

knotted in purpose. 

Oh how I looked on in brevity the callus threads that stretched for miles upon miles into causeways of blindness which overtook me in haste. Very painstaken I was in the trials before then. But now I see the reason for them. For nothing could have felt better than to be relieved of all that built up stress which churned and churned until a mechanism of ventricles let go in common translation. Like ruminating gats and dust swipers caged so discreetly so as to fixate on unto sizzling barge-heads. Almost as if silly esquires of desperately manifold doldrums exist solely to highlight the difference of deceit and merry.  the difference of you, a you, and I, an I.

“Man I need blankets.” Thomas said.

“Pillows too.” I said tracing the outer perimeter of Home Depot. 

Them Carharrts nice too. Our eyes met at the rack.

“I bet you could fit a gun inside this.” Thomas said feeling the durability of a canvas hoodie in brown. 

“No I don’t have a gun.”

“You should get one.”

“They got em here?”

We fell out of the portal. 

____________

Vicious bar flies and scarcities falsify the other-half.

“It is settled” said Chief Wallitzer

“Then buy more plankton from the Chief” A creature said. Decrepit. Monsteral. Lectivicious. The creature continued.

 “And as soon as I stray a lochness is when the fortifications manifest wholly and without contempt.” I must ignore him.

“What am I to do?” I said on the levy. 

“Take a boat from the garter over thine gully there.” Said the Chief. 

And I summoned a boat from his power.

“I’m crossing.” I said under my breathe. I said aloud. 

“Bless you Chief! Aye. May good fortune amass in your possession!” Because realization finally hit me, that I was to join my comrades in battle, once and for all.

“Aye, and to not flee as well.” This was the last I ever heard of the Chief. 

--------

Today I’m going to buy a car.

Anxiety is a MK Ultra Mind Control Tactic (designed to keep humans subordinate to the matrix) ((which is ran by the 10%))

(((who answer to archonic entities from the 4th dimension)))

Logical reasoning is when an internal problem is identified as separate from the self so that it may not be subject to the whims of ego, which is fleeting and irregular, and stems from an evolutionary need for man to keep desiring more and more mates to reproduce offspring with so that his tribe grows strong in number as opposed to getting complacent with having one or few mates, retiring from the world, and letting him and/or his offspring die without a big enough tribe to defend them from bigger tribes with more man-power. Humans have advanced beyond the need to reproduce. In fact, Over-population is an existential threat to the continuation of humans on Earth. Because of this there should be no desire to reproduce. However, there is still a desire to reproduce. This is because the consequences of over-population like famine, disease, and global warming have yet to be internalized by most humans. Once it does, there will be no desire to reproduce, and all remaining sub-strata will go too. These remaining sub-strata include love, greed, and status all begotten from the main desire of humans, which is to reproduce. The reason that is 

The main desire of humans is that humans want to survive. If humans didn’t want to survive they’d be dead. If humans we’re dead they wouldn’t be living. And if humans weren’t living they wouldn’t exist. Additionally, If humans didn’t exist they’d be nothing. And If humans were nothing they wouldn’t be something. Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards the very notion of being something 

with the very notion of that word and all the associations it comes with, 

 Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards being something, 

knowing full-well  the associations it comes with, then humans would be refusing their ego, which is fleeting and irregular.

Once this desire (to reproduce) is gone, then allser forms of this desire like 

and not get his needs are met

 be processed in an objective manner, and not subject to whims of ego

solutions can be formulated in an objective context, and the solutions necessary to overcoming that problem, may not be weighed against emotion, which is fleeting and irregular.

 and it’s existential

consequences, both good and bad, can be weighed objectively against 

solutions that are based in reality

The distinction between needs and desires is a matter of time. Needs are immediate. Desires are built up over time.

The distinction between needs and desires is, in fact, only a matter of time

Anxiety needs to be alleviated when there’s not enough time, but it should anxiety will be alleviated because their is time.  . 

^^^^^^^^^cap*********

*********************

Anxiety is when an internal problem needs to be alleviated. Its just that the actions required to alleviate said problem seem far off and distant. So much that you begin doubting your abilities as a measly human and turn to a god instead. When this god doesnt fix your problems your anxiety is compounded heavily. Because you have one more problem than you started with. If you couldnt hold a candle to your first problem, being as their solutions were so far out and demanded too much in a short amount of time, then now you got a doozy on your hands. All we can ask for is perfection, and hope we come up short.

********************

************

//All God can ask for is perfection. That’s why he doesn’t relate to us.// If you had a bag that led to another bag you wouldn’t keep the first bag cus it’d already be in the second one. These are the ancestors working behind the scenes.

then what makes you think

Our teachers taught us proper sentence structure in the third grade. A subject followed by a predicate. The subject is invoked and the predicate carries the burden like a hag witch carries  it and thus justifying the subject so that it is not floating in space, susceptible to being bothered by minds whose job it is to question things that float in space for no other reason other than to not have a purpose, and stand as a monument against all these grammar nazis stand for. So viciously chaotic, free in its lightness, completely unencumbered by menial contrivances of formality, it seems, are these subjects without predicates stand unapologetically in the vast concourses of space as monuments against all they stand for. The problem is that words can only do so much when describing a subject. Whether it is a noun or pronoun, abstract or not, a person, place, thing, or idea, it could even be an interjection, the problem is words can only do so much for describing the essence of a thing, the unseen force which discerns certain vibrations as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency at which the brain can perceive.

certain things as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency that vibrates at a rate at which the human brain can process through its hypothalamus and perceive them as things in the 3rd dimension.

apart from the rest is limitless when not bound by words, which can only be deduced as a lesser form of magic.

Thomas and I see the same things. Ever since our childhoods we were never separated. And even if we we’re, or it appeared as if we we’re, we always had the same eyes. Not just the same view, but the same eyes. I don’t mean that these eyes were like detachable lenses, that could be passed around to and fro like a can on a string, I mean that we’ve had the same experiences, just in different forms.  And if we ever shared a difference of opinion, which happened a lot, like with this Erica thing, I never had to worry about things getting heated. Because no matter what, I could always fall back on us letting things calm down for a while, alone in our rooms leaning into our cheeks trying not to think about it. until both of us realized we were coming.from the same place, and that where, and to what degree we took it to, was ultimately meaningless.

I must be going now. It’s getting late. What time is it? 2:30? Jesus. Fuck. That’s later than I thought. Already? Oh well. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Anyway. What I wanna talk about is how fucked up you look to me, and I don’t know if you see that. I mean, if you can see what I see. Dread, angst, all of mine and your miseries seem to have burdened you. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m a man. I can fix my own problems. Really. I can. I may not look it but I’m grown. You don’t have to worry about them. Here, look at this picture I took last year. It’s of you and me. Don’t we look so happy? Happy. Is that the right word? Or maybe we’re crumbing for our last breathe of smile in us. Fuck. I’m beginning to think that’s true the more and more I think about it. Because you we’re never happy. Neither was I. But that wasn’t the goal for us like it is for so many others. No. We just wanted to get by. And that’s all we could ever ask for.

--jgcjgcjgcjgcgjc

I wanted to keep this sacred so it’d come across a more genuine when the right person came across it. but now the urge is too strong and the resonance too concentrated for me to dismiss the trailblazing force of circular momentum. And its nice out too. The grass is still damp from yesterday’s rain but not so you couldn’t lie in it. That’s what I did today. That along with thinking. Moving on. I won’t talk about personal experience in this article. The truth is I’m not important. What matters is my guidance. So from now on take my “I’s” as placeholders for something greater. Make it what you want. A parakeet, a landing pad, veganism, law and order, anything. It could even be the universe itself with you and me included. Whatever it is just don’t miss the point that follows this inconspicuous “i” because there is no truth, only different paths to getting there. 

The truth is I haven’t been out the house in a few years. Sure there were gaps in between like parties here and there. But even then I was inside myself, leaving people to wonder if I was as social as I looked. Sometimes I was normal, others I was a wallflower. Only rarely did I meet their expectations and become the center of attention. I still remember those moments because I’m preparing for the next time it happens so I can maintain a sense of self better so that I can let it go and channel what comes out of me more freely. Some call this going into the world. I call it getting out the house. Leaving the nest. All those times i was still at home within myself. I never left my shell. There’s no point when that shell is filled with angels.

Language can be tricky. It can be used for yin and yang. It can be used for contuation or stagnation when concerning the path of self and how one wants to judge said self through language so that it may have something ethereal to manifest from. Before I continue I must say that there is a self because any indication of there not being a self relies on the suppusition there there is a self. Perception plays a role too, as in, agreeing or not to accept the definitions of the words you lay on yourself as true or not. The pessimist sees the world as signs and symbols and interprets stimuli af a higher level then the optimist, who is often naieve to the hidden world where everything comes from. This is why pessimists are often dualists. To the optimist it appears they are one-sided because they take them at face-value. Again, they are unable to see the hidden world where everything comes from. Those who fly under the radar appear that way because they are in direct contact with this world so as to filter their thoughts before speaking them. This world is a place pessimists visit often within themselves and rarely show out of. They show out only in dire situations, and that makes their actions that much stronger because they have kept sacred the hidden world where everything comes from so that it is pure and cutting-edge when it comes time to release it upon the known world. Like an endless stream does their wrath come out of them because they’ve been holding it in so long. 

Anytime you insert the I into a situation is when a princible of measurement can be applied to you as infinite potential to fail or succeed relative to the third party as the perfect amount of what you needed to be faced with. 

with chakra wheels that exist so we can find ourselves in a better light.