#BUT I PUT IN LOTS OF EFFORT ON THE DESCRIPTION TO MAKE UP FOR IT 🥹

[seumyo]

okay okay okayyy 🗣️🗣️🗣️

i am here to receive an archived scrapbook

prepare yourself cuz this boutta be long as hell

okay!! so firstly i would like one for my boy hitoshi 🙂‍↕️ so my oc’s name is miu vremya, her personality is very similar to jiro’s (bc she is me and i am jiro) but like.. kind of meaner, kinda

her quirk is time manipulation but idk if u need that uhmmmm her hobbies include dance (not superrr prominent) and like.. combat skills?? like training ig

interests include fashion & music & dance, all that good shit yk and her nationality is half japanese & half russian

she first saw shinso at the sports fest and has a massive hallway crush on him but tells no one (except jiro and then mina eventually finds out) and basically they push her to talk to him when he starts training with classes a & b!! we love number 1 wing woman mina

when he joined class a they just sort of naturally gravitated toward eachother since they’re personalities are sort of similar if that makes sense?? they always matching sass and sarcasm level if u feel me

very black cat bf & black cat gf vibes when they do get together!! in their own lil corner judging everyone

eventually mina & denki had to step in to actually get them to talk abt their feelings 😞😞 but it all worked out and they got together

umumumum miu is a very silent angry person if that makes sense?? she kind of just shuts down and will irritatedly hum in response to whatever u say to her, but it only lasts like an hour max (i mean depending on what was done but yk) - and hitoshi gives me silent anger until he can get his thoughts under control and then confronts the person. so i feel like they wouldn’t argue much?? or for that long. bc once hitoshi’s got his head straight miu’s not mad anymore so they can just talk if that makes sense

very very cuddly couple & always gets candids of eachother

OKAY ENOUGH ABT THE OC

for colors i would love purple & baby blue (and black as like an accent??) and for the song i would say in between by gracie abrams

for an aesthetic could i get grunge maybe 👀 lmk if that’s hard to do for this!! anything edgy works really

anyways wow this is long hope this entertains u 🙂‍↕️

ᯓ★ HITOSHI + MIU!

★ Even before the Sports Festival, Shinsou kept seeing you everywhere—to the point that he was wondering if you had a clone-based Quirk. You piqued his interest unknowingly because he kept seeing you more often than he should (he tries to act nonchalant whenever he passes by you in the hallway).

★ During the joint training with Class A and B, he’s stoked to figure out that he’ll be going against your team (he’s on Class B’s team this time), and he really doesn’t want to embarrass himself because he has something to prove to the teachers, the hero course students, and to the student that he sees around school often (the pressure on his shoulders was HEAVY).

★ After said battle, he just sorts of stays on his own because he doesn’t know the hero course students that well to want to initiate a casual conversation with them, but then suddenly he sees that you’re being ushered toward him by Mina! Ok, Shinsou Hitoshi, act calm and collected.

★ Did not act calm and collected whatsoever; his voice slightly went a pitch higher than his usual one when he introduced himself. Embarrassing, he could never show his face to you ever again. But he redeems himself in the end, trust. He’s actually really glad that you two are similar in a way, because the sarcasm this man has that just comes out naturally at any given moment should be toned down (he’s a dork at heart).

★ Throughout the time you two grew closer together, Hitoshi was sort of second guessing himself if what he felt for you was platonic or romantic. Lots of reading between the lines. Lots of “is this what friends do?” Was all of this just casual?

★ Denki and Mina are super awesome wingmen. During your third year, they finally had enough and made it their mission to just do what has to be done. Feelings were talked about, confusions were cleared, and hooray! He finally confessed (Hitoshi’s heart almost leaped out of his chest when it finally happened).

★ Absolutely loves it when you two match outfits in a lowkey manner. He’s a simple man and dresses simply and just goes with whatever it is that you suggest he wears, but not without saying, “Do I have to?” Yes, he’s already on his way to the changing room even before you could answer.

★ You’re the first to hear of the gossip his radar receives. He would call you, but he prefers talking in person because he really wants to see your reaction while he tells the story (Quality Time is his love language, can you tell?) A huge bonus is when he gets to cuddle against you when he recalls whatever happened, so yes, he prefers sharing gossip in person.

★ Most of the candid pictures you have of him are just him looking like he’s had a 14-hour shift at the hospital without coffee or even sleeping a wink. But there are also cute ones that he really likes! Like that one time he found a stray cat and was all crouched down just to pick the little feline up, or that one time he could barely move his face as he let the face mask you put on him dry.

★ Late-night talks, simple walks in the park, riding a bicycle around town with you on the additional seat behind him (Hitoshi had it installed on his bike just in case you'd want to go with him), having wordless conversations by just looking at each other’s eyes (anyone who isn't close to you two is TERRIFIED of ever walking by whenever you two are together), and just spending time with each other in general with Hitoshi are his favorite things to do with you.

[lala-blahblah]

.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved

(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)

Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!

He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.

He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.

At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)

The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.

The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.

Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.

Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D

I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.

[chuluoyi]

LOVER'S QUARREL

- fushiguro megumi x reader

“i can't do this anymore.” you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.

genre/warnings: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)

note: dear god i’m finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events i’ve seen around my friend’s relationship sooo it might hurt a bit 🤏🏻 but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

general masterlist

Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.

And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumi’s sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.

But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldn’t help but do a double-take.

You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.

You never realized it before… that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.

So how dare he spout this now?

“I can't do this anymore.”

"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"

"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."

This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.

You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"

"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."

Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.

Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.

"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really want—"

Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's better—"

"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunches—everything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"

In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.

And yet...

"...I'm sorry."

Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.

And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."

As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.

Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."

You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful manner—which, indeed, was your intention—and then you ran.

Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.

Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.

"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.

"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."

"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"

"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."

"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."

. . .

"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.

Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. “This is for the best.”

Yuji’s eyebrows visibly creased. “How is this ‘for the best’? She’s miserable, and you…” he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, “it doesn’t seem you’re faring any better too.”

“The longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.” Megumi glanced at the bathroom’s direction. “She can deserve better.”

He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldn’t fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.

Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, but…

How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?

Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.

With Hakari.

“Yo, what are you glaring at?” Panda asked, but Megumi didn’t pay him any mind.

An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have fun—all in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.

Three weeks. It’s only been three weeks since then.

“Megumi?”

Wait… Aren’t three weeks too fast to get over your ex?

“Megumi!”

“Huh?” he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. “Oh, what is it?”

He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."

But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.

"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but you—"

"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.

From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.

...huh?

Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?

What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.

Suddenly these memories popped up one by one—

Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.

How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.

How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.

But on harder days after missions gone wrong, he’d ignore you altogether— the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.

“Haaaah.” Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadn’t it occurred to him before now?

Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?

They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.

What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?

You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!

You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...

"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.

You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."

This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memories—okay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?

Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.

"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.

Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."

You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.

Stay close, he said... So he is worried...

And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.

You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"

"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.

"You two seem close."

Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?

Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"

In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.

You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?

"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.

Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.

But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"

Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.

For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.

Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.

And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"

"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"

He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.

You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"

"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.

"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.

"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What abo—"

Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcised—

At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.

He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere and—

Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.

You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffled—the frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.

Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feet—falling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.

And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.

"You stupid—!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake up—hells—"

You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself first—and now facing the consequences.

It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.

"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."

Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your blood—and how lifeless you felt in his grasp—but he willed it away.

"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.

"Don't leave me."

It was like a distant, hazy memory.

Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.

The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.

You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.

Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.

Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.

Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...

You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."

When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.

"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minor—it's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."

You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.

“Why did you do that?” he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.

He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.

"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.

However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."

...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?

"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."

"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'm—"

"If it's because I saved you, Megumi—"

“Do not even think, even for a moment, that I won’t be concerned over you.” His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. “Never. I always, always want you to be safe.”

Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.

"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be here—" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "—for you?"

You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within you—stemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.

You dumbly uttered, "But we are—"

"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.

He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."

And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, and—damn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."

Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."

And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.

“I'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,” he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. “And I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.”

A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.

But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."

And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.

"Maybe I am, yeah."

"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."

"Yeah..."

But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.

On one sunny day...

"Hey, are you alone?"

Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.

"No. Can I help you?"

The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cute—"

The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind when—

Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongue—that accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.

"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."

Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.

"Megumi!"

Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside him—

He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.

"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"

[elysiansparadise]

Part of Fortune in astrology

The Part of Fortune is an Arabic part that represents the luck that we naturally attract, from the areas of our life in which we can attract greater opportunities to the area of ​​our life in which we can find greater satisfaction and success. Some also attribute this point to the natural talents with which we are born. You can calculate it on Astro.com in the small "Additional Objects" tab. As a personal recommendation, I recommend checking which house(s) the POF ruler(s) fall into and check the description of it too.

🔘Part of fortune in the 1st house: These people can attract luck very easily throughout their lives, whether taking the path they want, due to their personality or even their physical appearance. They can be considered charismatic and very attractive by other people. Ease to achieve everything they want or put their mind into. They will attract a lot of luck if they decide to work in areas that allow them to deal with the public or be public figures. They tend to have the ability to light up the room or lift the spirits of others. Things may seem to naturally align in their favor. It is possible that any project they start will flourish quickly and give results just as quick. They can have strong self-confidence and, without seeking it, attract a lot of reassurance from others. They tend to be seen as lucky, privileged by other people. They make very good decisions even if they decide based on intuition. They feel and are protected by divinity and because of this trust they have in it, the intensity increases.

🔲Part of fortune in Aries: These people usually come out triumphant in any competition, easily defeating enemies or doing better than them. Many chances of success when you work on your own and dare to put your ideas into action. Leadership skills or greater success when they guide a group of people. Confiding in your abilities and daring to take risks can result in great experiences and opportunities. These people may stand out for being the first to do something and may be seen as pioneers. Ease of motivating and empowering people, you share and spread your energy and drive to others. There is no challenge or difficulty that they cannot overcome. Great vitality and strength, as well as healthy self-esteem.

🖤Aries degrees [01°, 13°, 25°]: They tend to make the right decisions throughout their lives. Great vitality and strength, both mental and physical. Opportunities to start projects that will bring them success. Ease for reaching powerful positions. They will enjoy victories and triumphs of all kinds. They take wise risks that can bring a lot of satisfaction to their lives. Their independence it’s the key to their success.

🔘Part of fortune in the 2nd house: They may have better luck attracting stability in every sense, especially economic ones. They will more easily attract things and/or opportunities that meet their needs, things arrive just when they need them. They can achieve success by starting their own businesses, making investments or making their hobbies their business or source of work. These people have a high and strong self-esteem, they are endowed with strong self-love. Their innate talents and abilities can be the door to success for these natives. You may more frequently attract people who value your efforts and may be appreciated for your presence and actions. Stability can come in your life, constant periods of satisfaction and things that accompany you in the long term, contributing favorably to you. You can attract many resources and tools throughout your life that open doors for you [money or other material goods, connections, learning, information, among others].

🔲Part of fortune in Taurus: For these natives, life will be filled with opportunities to explore pleasure in its different forms, from the most mundane to the deepest, from the emotional to the material realm. They can enjoy many moments of stability in their lives and attract things that bring happiness and comfort to their lives in the long term. These people can easily attract everything they want, in general they have a great power of attraction. They are people who can be endowed with a lot of beauty and natural charm. They can easily attract stable connections that provide them with constant support. The universe will remove from your paths everything that messes with your peace and will fill you with better things shortly after.

🖤Taurus degrees [02°, 14°, 26°]:People endowed with a lot of physical attractiveness, elegance and very strong confidence. They can more easily attract stability in their lives, more specifically economic ones. Ease to materialize your ideas and make them prosper or grow. They give others a sense of stability. When they act based on their values ​​they can attract a lot of luck.

🔘Part of fortune in the 3rd house: They will attract many opportunities to undertake short trips, likewise, very positive and satisfying things await them through it. They can easily excel during their student life, whether academically, socially, or both.They will have great luck working with others and being part of communities of any kind, and they can be highly appreciated in these. They may have a good relationship with siblings, cousins ​​or neighbors, or at least one who is really supportive. They can attract people who are naturally very brotherly towards them. People may like to be with them, as they exude allure and can easily captivate others. Ease of communication, their writing can become recognized or they can be praised for the way you communicate. Ease of forming and creating satisfactory relationships with the people around them, or at least cordial ones. You tend to have an innate positive impact on the people around you.

🔲Part of fortune in Gemini: Ease of acquiring diverse knowledge and standing out in many different areas from a very young age. They have a natural talent for connecting with others through words, whether verbally or in writing. It should be added that they stand out for communicating very accurately what they want to say. They can be successful in the sales sector and stand out for their social intelligence. They can easily mentally stimulate others, challenge them and entertain them at the same time. They tend to be easily recognized by their intelligence, by one of their hobbies and by their wit. Many times they can start doing things out of mere curiosity which can lead them to success or give them a lot of satisfaction. 

🖤Gemini degrees [03°, 15°, 27°]: Natural talent for writing, great communicators and can be seen as very charismatic and appealing ones. Gifted with a very capable mind that can lead them to be very successful. What they say can have a high impact on others. They can learn facts or things that seem random but that can be significant on other occasions. They attract many resources of all kinds.

🔘Part of fortune in the 4th house: These natives will have ease and success building their own home, making it a place where they feel calm, content and fulfilled. They can attract more stable things, from opportunities to long-term emotional bonds. They find happiness and satisfaction by being at home or doing things that bring them comfort. They may have greater emotional stability and do not depend on others to feel better or worse. They may have a supportive family or a member of their family that they connect with on all levels and provide them with unconditional support.They will easily attract people who become family to them. They are people with great emotional responsibility and awareness, which will attract opportunities and happiness to them. Being around these natives usually gives a feeling of coming home, they have the ability to make others feel good and give them comfort without trying too hard. They enjoy and get a lot of satisfaction when they can spend time alone. 

🔲Part of fortune in Cancer: They gain satisfaction from taking care of their emotional well-being, even if they take small actions to do so. These people will easily attract people's empathy and support. People feel naturally comfortable around them and they have a charm that inspires adoration and tenderness in others. They can attract strong bonds with women or people with feminine energy that bring them satisfaction and success. Being in touch with your inner child brings you many opportunities. They have the ability to nourish others emotionally, spiritually and mentally, as well as quickly make any project they have in mind flourish. Life will give you many heart-warming experiences and the ability to create beautiful and meaningful memories.

🖤Cancer degrees [04°, 16°, 28°]: Ease of moving others emotionally and understanding the needs of others. They give comfort to others with their mere presence. Their family ties can bring them luck. They can be welcomed by other families and treated as part of them. Talent for reading people, high emotional intelligence. Likely to attract luck when keeping their plans to themselves. 

🔘Part of fortune in the 5th house: Chance seems to be on their side, they can be very lucky in games, and they seem to have a strong power of attraction. Their hobbies and talents can be sources of success, it can give them opportunities to improve their lives or even make them gain a lot of recognition. They can attract attention very easily, gain fame more quickly than other people, and gain the esteem of others without trying too hard. They are people who stand out for their attractiveness and can attract suitors or couples with economic or job stability, who bring them a lot of happiness or who benefit them in some way. They can obtain great benefits if they trust their talents and potential and decide to make their ideas come true and if they dare to create. These natives contribute positively to their relationships as well, filling their partners with motivation and joy. Opportunities and good luck as they embrace themselves and speak their minds. They can be very fertile people and if they want to be parents, they can enjoy a great relationship with their children. 

🔲Part of fortune in Leo: These people tend to attract people's attention, appreciation and admiration more easily. They stand out enormously for their talents and will enjoy great success when they make use of them. Ease of entertaining and amusing people. They gain recognition for their talents and for being themselves. They can generate a lot of income through a hobby. They can attract plenty of situations in which they are or can be the center of attention, and can stand out greatly if they take those opportunities. When they put their energy and passion into a specific action, activity or project, it is easier for them to achieve surprising and satisfactory results for the natives. Very likely to attract fame and recognition on a large scale.

🖤Leo degrees [05°, 17°, 29°]: They will more easily attract success, recognition or praise from others. Great creativity, ability to easily shine in any aspect of their lives. They attract positive things when they are authentic and themselves. They have strong self-esteem and awareness of their own abilities. They have a lot of charisma and know that they can achieve many things on their own.

🔘Part of fortune in the 6th house: These people may have a particular ability that makes them stand out quite a bit and even be easily admired by others because of it. Natives of great intelligence and a work ethic that will make them stand out. They can enjoy an excellent work environment, easily earning the appreciation and respect of other co-workers, bosses or people under their supervision. They can recover from illnesses more easily. An ease to attract the support of others, often this being selfless and of great impact for the natives. After helping others, these people can return the favor on a larger scale to the native. A lot of success at work, ease of promotion and enjoying many benefits through this. Ease in dealing with animals of all kinds, they can feel comfortable around the native. They inspire confidence in others easily, and that is precisely what opens up many opportunities for them. Success at work and being seen as efficient and capable gives them enormous satisfaction.

🔲Part of fortune in Virgo: Their small actions have big positive impacts without even intending to. They can have a strong body capable of recovering from illnesses with ease. These natives may be highly respected and well regarded for some skill they have focused on developing. Their hard work brings them great rewards, often exceeding their expectations. Ease in making decisions and can make the best one in crisis situations. Order brings them happiness and they find satisfaction in doing small actions to take care of their well-being and body. They often bring clarity to other people's lives, as well as bringing them down to earth. Their rationality allows them to discern between various situations and take the one they like best.

🖤Virgo degrees [06°, 18°]: They attract luck when they dedicate themselves to jobs that require dedication, precision and perseverance. Greater success when they have a schedule or when they take charge of their lives themselves. They can be great communicators too, especially in writing. Equipped with a mind with great analytical capabilities.

🔘Part of fortune in the 7th house: These natives have the ability to relate to other people and attract supportive ties into their lives. They can be easily liked by others and form positive relationships in which people truly seek the happiness of the native and of course, with people who adore the native. Good luck to partnerships of all kinds, both business and relationship. They can be easily accepted by other people. People may describe them as rays of light, not necessarily out of positivity, but because they genuinely like the company of natives. Much success, fortune and satisfaction in their marriage, they will love the person they choose to marry. Ease of resolving conflicts, both your own and those of other people. They can attract reciprocity frequently. They will be successful in legal situations of all kinds. Victory over their adversaries. They attract generous people into their lives. Natural charm that helps them advance, progress or brings them opportunities. They may marry someone influential or at a good point in their life.

🔲Part of fortune in Libra: They have a mix of charm and a sharp, analytical mind. People naturally feel drawn to their appearance and personality. They are very successful in social situations and enjoy great results working as a team. Graced with a seductive and attractive appearance. Ease of understanding people and what they go through. Success when forming relationships. They can attract people who help them progress, who genuinely love them, and who want to be there for the natives. Ease of connecting more easily with people and making them feel good in your presence. They have the ability to influence other people. Calm environments, with aesthetics that match that of the natives considerably increase your happiness and satisfaction. Success in jobs related to law, art or public relations.

🖤Libra degrees [07°, 19°]: Natural grace and ease of being well-liked by others. They easily attract people's interest. Great social skills that make them stand out. They are people who can be considered very attractive by people, both because of their features and the shape of their body. They can find themselves surrounded by people even without them looking for it. 

🔘Part of fortune in the 8th house: Wisdom and strength of spirit, these natives can be seen as immovable and powerful, people recognize their personal power making them easily earn respect. They emerge and overcome crises, becoming even wiser afterward. These people can easily attract the generosity of others, even being chosen to receive inheritances. They find satisfaction in getting to the bottom of things and knowing the truth. Success pursuing professions linked to analysis, research or the esoteric. Great understanding of the human psyche and behavior. Ability to read others and bare their souls. They attract opportunities when they delve into the unknown and explore aspects of life that are not visible to the naked eye. They have the ability to connect in a unique way with others, in a less superficial and more meaningful way. Ease to overcome fears and insecurities. Connections where they give themselves completely to each other provide them not only with emotional satisfaction, but also with opportunities for growth and success.

🔲Part of fortune in Scorpio: These natives have the ability to make big changes from the circle to which they belong, to a larger scale such as at the level of society; They easily change people's mindsets and bring awareness. Your intuition is one of your greatest tools and by using and following it you can make decisions that lead you to success. They may experience positions of power more frequently. Throughout their lives, they attract changes that change the course of their lives for the better. They will successfully face any adversity and will be reborn stronger. They attract success when they channel their passion into meaningful projects. They attract respect and admiration from others easily, and they enjoy a powerful reputation. Ease healing yourself and supporting others to heal.

🖤Scorpio degrees [08°, 20°]: These natives have great magnetism and an enormous ability to influence the masses or people around them. Strong intuition, they always know what is happening around them and this information comes to them without looking for it. They overcome tense situations more easily. They provide strength to others when they go through tense situations.

🔘Part of fortune in the 9th house: Many opportunities to travel and you can have a lot of luck and satisfaction through it. Success in the major college you decide to enter and many opportunities to progress and improve your life can come during that period of your life. These natives may have very helpful, generous and caring mentors towards them who will contribute positively to their lives. They can make important and beneficial connections with people from abroad. Life will fill you with opportunities to enjoy and live life, giving you many experiences that fill you spiritually. This is a lucky placement that makes them look like they have a lucky charm. On many occasions, if things don't go their way, better things come for them. These natives can have a lot of luck and protection when venturing into new or unknown areas for them. They are people endowed with wisdom and can find satisfaction through their spirituality, being in touch with their higher self or acting based on their beliefs. They may have an easier time being in high vibration.

🔲Part of fortune in Sagittarius: Life will provide you with opportunities to travel, expand your mind and live rewarding experiences that make your soul happy and satisfied. Success will come to them in fields such as education [from devoting yourself to it professionally, attending college or simply mastering the fields that you are most passionate about], when they travel, contact with other cultures, or when you start or begin in spirituality. They can be successful in forming long-term relationships with people who live far away or who are foreigners. They are likely to have many convenient and opportune circumstances throughout their lives.  The leaps of faith they take can make significant changes in their lives.

🖤Sagittarius degrees [09°, 21°]: They can easily connect with people very different from them. They mix well with both people their age and older people. Possibility of great experiences through travel. They may have greater opportunities for scholarships. Talent and ability for languages. Connecting with cultures other than their own gives them satisfaction.

🔘Part of fortune in the 10th house: These people can make better first impressions without needing to pretend. You have the ability to achieve success or have important achievements even from a young age. Influential and with the ability to relate to large amounts of people. Your work life will be full of success and you will feel truly satisfied with the path you decide to pursue. Many opportunities to grow professionally. You attract the admiration and respect of others without trying too hard. They tend to achieve their personal goals more easily. They can quickly gain recognition, popularity and fame, as well as earn the respect of more experienced or older people. They can reach high ranks more quickly than other people. Much success and luck in carrying out long-term plans, the results are more stable, long-lasting and match the ideas of the natives. Much success and luck in carrying out long-term plans, the results are more stable, long-lasting and match the ideas of the natives.

🔲Part of fortune in Capricorn: Their hard work brings results more quickly, and the results may be more satisfactory than the native expected. You will be able to achieve everything you ever imagined you wanted to have. Ease of attracting stable things into their lives, from jobs, relationships to favorable streaks. These natives can achieve important things at a young age, which brings them recognition and can increase their personal satisfaction. Greater ease in overcoming obstacles of all kinds. They reach positions of authority and can lead the people in their charge to progress and improve. They will achieve recognition with respect to the fields in which they work or those in which they put a lot of effort and time.

🖤Capricorn degrees [10°, 22°]: Ease of professional advancement. They are seen as professionals and very capable from a young age and thanks to this they are given opportunities. Talent to lead, start businesses. They are capable of giving direction to any thing or project and bringing it to success. Their discipline and hard work are always appreciated and the source of his greatest successes.

🔘Part of fortune in the 11th house: Following the causes they consider important and fighting for what they believe is right can bring a lot of fortune and popularity. Ease of acquiring money through various sources, luck in personal business where they can be their own boss. Their friendships can bring them important opportunities, just as they can attract great friendships into their lives. Ease of growing on social media and inspiring the masses. Even without intending to, these natives can bring many positive things to the circles to which they belong, managing to contribute favorably to them. They will attract opportunities that will allow them to make their aspirations and goals a reality. These natives can be accepted more easily in groups, people tend to like them most of the time. They can attract people who, by supporting them, can greatly help the native in return. The older they feel, the more satisfied and content they may feel with their life.

🔲Part of fortune in Aquarius: You have the ability to stand out from the crowd more easily. Following your own path or venturing into a path that no one in your family or close circle has taken can lead you to success. These people have a magnetism that makes people drawn to them, a unique charm coming from their enigmatic and nuanced personality. Your originality and creativity can bring you success, and you can be considered an ideas machine. These natives have the ability to bring people together and make them feel part of a group. You can achieve many things by working on your own and doing things your own way. They may have talents or skills for astrology, science, technology or simply innovate in the field of their interest.

🖤Aquarius degrees [11°, 23°]: A very strong, creative and inventive mind. Success in innovating in any field of interest. They may stand out for a hobby and be seen as very capable at them with people. They will easily stand out for their authenticity and originality. Lots of luck in projects with friends or that you do on the internet. They stand out easily with or without people around them.

🔘Part of fortune in the 12th house: These people have a lot of positive karma from other lives, so this placement is a natural indicator of luck. They will always emerge victorious no matter who their enemies are or who want their downfall. They feel and are divinely protected, in fact they can be more spiritual which helps them attract greater protection and opportunities. Greater potential to manifest, your inner dreams or desires can become a reality in no time. They may not be aware of their luck, but things at the end of the day are usually in their favor. They can experience many moments of being in the right place at the right time. These people may find satisfaction in spending time alone after a busy day, finding comfort and joy in it. They usually have a strong intuition and their hunches usually save them from going through tense and unnecessary situations. After helping people, they can attract favorable streaks of luck. Doing things for themselves and not sharing their plans can bring them better results and enjoy their achievements better.

🔲Part of fortune in Pisces: These people can achieve success if they decide to work on something that fills their soul, that is, working on one of their passions. Success if you decide to pursue an artistic or esoteric branch, or if you venture into the path of helping other people. They may experience streaks of good fortune in unexpected or subtle ways, as well as help from those who least expect it or opportunities when they feel most hopeless. They can attract many opportunities or experiences that provide them with emotional well-being. They are endowed with enormous magnetism that not only makes them attract people's attention or affection, but also favorable situations. The more you delve into spirituality, the more opportunities and luck will knock on your door.

🖤Pisces degrees [12°, 24°]: Abilities to manifest everything they dream or write. Great sensitivity and ease of seeing through people's emotions. They can carry positive karma from other lives which helps them. They can find success in artistic fields, especially painting or music. Easy to charm people, because they are very magnetic.

🖤Part of Fortune in 00°: These people naturally attract luck, regardless of the circumstances, life will give them the right people at the right time and take away those who do not contribute anything to them. They can find happiness and satisfaction more easily, especially by being clear about what they want and pursuing that path. 

🌠 Aspects of the Part of Fortune with the planets 🌠

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Sun: These people can naturally attract abundance and luck into their lives. Being themselves, that is, being authentic can open many doors to opportunities. Strong self-esteem and natural charisma that make them not only well-liked but respected. They may have this "lucky charm" quality being considered one by people around them. They tend to earn recognition, praise and compliments quite frequently. Success in fields that allow you to be in the spotlight.

⬜Opposition or square with Sun: A path to self-acceptance and self-love is what will bring luck to the lives of these natives. It is necessary that they develop their own identity and learn to act based on what they believe and are. Developing an understanding of themselves and what they really want will align them with the path they desire and deserve.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Moon: These people will be able to form a home in which they feel comfortable and happy. They can attract emotionally supportive bonds throughout their lives. They will attract many experiences and experiences that will give them satisfaction and emotional well-being. They may have great family relationships and form special bonds with women or attract women who support them greatly. 

⬜Opposition or square with Moon: To achieve success and happiness, these natives must learn to be more in touch with their emotions, better understand their needs and be more sensitive to themselves. By better understanding your inner world, being more patient and balancing reason and mind can lead you to a path of fulfillment and contentment with your lives.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Mercury: Quality of saying things at the right moment. Communication and intellect are sources of success. They solve problems easily and have ideas that can create opportunities for them. They are people who can stand out a lot thanks to their skills. Very capable students. Excellent writers and communicators. Success and satisfaction when expressing what they think. 

⬜Opposition or square with Mercury: Creating a balance between planning and action will be essential for success. Working on your tendencies of self-doubt and overthinking will bring positive changes. It will be necessary for them to trust their abilities, create their own criteria and be cautious with whom they share their goals or aspirations.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Venus: Artistic talents that can bring them success. They will attract relationships that will benefit them and bring happiness. Ease of attracting money. Life will flood you with pleasant experiences that will increase your happiness. These natives are endowed with attractiveness, charm and a lot of physical beauty. Their creativity flows with ease. Abundant love life or at least, a quite satisfactory one.

⬜Opposition or square with Venus: Working on and getting rid of people-pleasing tendencies can help you live more fully and feel better. They may feel they have a tense love life, tension between loving someone and loving themselves. Developing healthy self-esteem and learning to value yourself and your efforts will bring more luck.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Mars: Their initiative brings them success, they seem to act or decide to start things at the right time. They may attract male figures who are very supportive or who give them opportunities to grow and succeed. Success and luck quickly act in your favor. These people win competitions and usually enjoy many victories throughout their lives. Much success when undertaking or working independently, also as leaders.

⬜Opposition or square with Mars: Learning to control impulses and work on ways to find motivation will bring greater satisfaction in the lives of natives. Being assertive, driven and patient can bring many benefits in the long term. Standing up for themselves without being hostile or too impulsive. Take things slowly and understand that things happen in their own time.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Jupiter: These people take leaps of faith and often jump into opportunities that quickly grow. They attract very supportive connections and mentors into their lives. Blind luck. They improve and get successful quickly and are likely to achieve wealth and be presented with great opportunities.  Luck through travel and ease in attracting opportunities to learn new things that give you a lot of spiritual satisfaction.

⬜Opposition or square with Jupiter: The key is to create a balance in which you don’t drown either negativity nor excessive positivity. When things don't go the way they want, they can quickly throw in the towel or become demotivated, without being aware that many times life does this to put a better option in their paths. It is necessary to learn to trust the universe or simply have faith when a situation is out of our control.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Saturn: These natives can achieve long-term satisfaction and happiness. Opportunities to advance professionally and have many successes in the workplace and/or as they get older. They can attract relationships with older people that benefit them in the long term. Success when carrying out plans and materializing them. They will attract great supporters or mentors who will support them. Positive karma will return to you quickly and in greater abundance.

⬜Opposition or square with Saturn: Hard work is the key to success. Your rewards will be given after waiting and a long wait that will be worth it. Patience, effort and a responsible mentality will be what will lead them to feel more satisfied with their lives. The blossoming of your hard work will take time but will bring you many benefits in the long run.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Uranus: They can unexpectedly attract streaks of luck or great opportunities. Daring to make changes will give you satisfaction, growth and can open doors to success. They can attract helpful friendships. The internet can be a source of satisfaction, money and success. Your ideas, inventions, creativity and originality can be sources of fortune or triumph. Embracing your individuality will bring you happiness and opportunities to have everything you have wanted.

⬜Opposition or square with Uranus: Daring to leave their comfort zone and learning to adapt to life's changes can bring the success and joy they so seek to the lives of natives. Being authentic and balancing their independence, that is, doing things on their own without hating to ask for support, will lead them to get what they want.

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Neptune: They attract many opportunities to develop their spirituality and grow a lot through them. Artistic and spiritual talents. Gifted with magnetism and strong intuition. Ability to manifest and make their dreams a reality. Easily attract the compassion of others. A lot of creativity and they can achieve fortune if they materialize those ideas. They can intuitively make decisions that lead them to success or do things that, even without intending to, that give them an enormous degree of happiness.

⬜Opposition or square with Neptune: It is crucial that these natives develop a realistic mindset and have their feet on the ground to begin building their path to success. They need to learn to trust their intuition. Having a practical and realistic approach can bring greater opportunities to your lives. 

⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Pluto: They can attract great transformative experiences that can change your life forever in a good way. They will naturally attract positions of power, whether at work or feelings of empowerment. Anyone who harms you will soon meet the same fate. They will be able to achieve large amounts and different forms of fortune. Ease to overcome any type of adversity and have the results turn out in your favor. Ease of seeing what goes unnoticed by others. Strong and accurate intuition. You can attract people with a lot of power and influence who can support you.

⬜Opposition or square with Pluto: In order to find success and satisfaction, natives will have to learn to let go of everything that ties them to the past. Old frustrations that prevent them from trying again. The fear of failure can hold them back. They should be more open to change and not beat themselves down over past mistakes. Trust your power and embrace it.

[moonsgemini]

cherry wine - firefighter!rafe pt. 2

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

summary: Rafe’s job gets in the way of your first date, but you’re not mad about it.

warnings: teacher!reader x firefighter!rafe, fluff, mutual pining, flirting, sexy rafe, SMUT, fingering, fem rec oral, fem!reader, inaccurate descriptions of firefighter duties, alcohol, cursing

an: I have no idea how a fire fighters schedule works so I made it up bc it’s fiction. oh & do we like the long fics?? oh & it’s my birthday yay to 24

part one

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

The night at the bar Rafe made sure you were sober to drive. He had you drink lots of water and even ordered you a plate of fries. His mind wandering off when you would lick the salt off your fingers. He was gone for you from the start and he didn’t mind one bit.

After walking you to your car he asked for your number and promised to see you the next day. Leaving you with a kiss on the cheek and permanent butterflies. The whole drive home you belted out the lyrics to your favorite pop music, feeling like a high school girl with a crush.

Rafe drove him in silence with a grin on his face. When he got home and texted you that he had a great time and couldn’t wait to see you again that grin never vanished. It only widened when you replied reciprocating the same feelings.

The next day came and a couple hours before picking you up Rafe got called into the station. Instead of texting he called you wanting to make sure you knew he wasn’t flaking. You believed him of course. Yet you couldn’t help the natural feeling of disappointment that flowed through your bones.

That feeling was soothed when he texted you late that night that he had finally gotten back to the station. Along with that he sent a picture of the station dog Max on his lap. You couldn’t help the way your mouth watered at the sight of his veiny big hand that was resting in the golden retrievers fur. In return you sent back a picture of your steaming mug of tea and a horror movie playing on the tv in the back.

It sparked a conversation about movies which led to you and Rafe talking non stop the following week. Besides the times you were teaching and he was out training or helping people.

Rafe promised you a proper date that upcoming Friday. Making sure to let you know that he would do anything to make it work out this time. You reassured him it was okay if something came up again. That made his heart burst, it wasn’t often that someone was willing to work with his hectic schedule.

-

The outfit you had planned for the previous weekend still sat on your vanity chair waiting to be worn. And hopefully waiting to be taken off. You had finished your hair and makeup all done to perfection. As it neared closer to the time he was picking you up your anxiety spiked. He hadn’t called to reschedule so it was really happening.

Rafe had gotten worked up all week with the pictures you’d occasionally send of what you were doing. The one that really got him was when you had gotten out of the shower and sent him a picture of you in a fuzzy robe with wet hair and your skin glistening. Most likely due to a skincare routine you had mentioned to him.

Rafe thought you looked like a goddess, he wished he could have gotten down on his knees and untied that robe with his teeth before worshiping you. His kind had been in the gutter all week.

He was making sure this date was going to go perfect. He bought a bouquet of flowers from a street vendor and worn his best date outfit. As he rang the doorbell to your small cottage he started to get a bit nervous. He hadn’t put this much effort into a date since high school. Even then how much effort could a teenage boy put in. He didn’t actually remember the last time he went on a date.

Rafe’s runaway thoughts were interrupted as you opened the door. Standing in front of him in a short black skirt and black top. A jacket hanging over your arm and your glossy lips turning up into a smile. The boots you were accentuated your legs making them look even longer. Rafe wanted to lick every inch of you. Especially after the smell of your perfume hit him, he wanted to kiss your neck.

“Hi,” You said with a teasing tone.

He didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything, “You look beautiful.” He made it a point to look her up and down.

She laughed as heat creeped up her neck, “Thank you Rafe.”

He loved how you said his name, “These are for you.” He handed you the flowers.

“Come in while I put them in water,” You nodded towards the inside of the house, “They’re beautiful Rafe. You really do know how to treat me good.”

He closed the door behind him as you began filling a vase with water, “Oh this is nothing.”

“If there’s more than this I might start to like you a little too much,” You joked hoping the weight of those words don’t send him running. You didn’t mean to say something so forward so soon. Literally on the first date, but you decided to stick by your words. You didn’t want to hide that you liked him.

“Perfect, because I already like you a little too much.”

You froze with the kitchen towel in your hands as you dries them. As you looked at him his smile was sincere, no hint of teasing or lying. You finished drying your hands as you laughed softly. The crush you had on Rafe was growing by the minute.

“Ready?” You asked.

He nodded opening the front door for you. He even opened the passenger door of his truck for you. Of course you knew these were bare minimum things but you couldn’t help how giddy it made you feel. Especially when it was him doing it for you.

-

Everything couldn’t have been going more perfect. Rafe was almost grateful he had to postpone the date because in the week the two of you talked he learned a lot. With the knowledge of you he had he planned the perfect date.

He took you to a record shop that you hadn’t been to before. You had told him about your extensive collection you had started building in high school. He even remembered a few of the bands you liked when he came across them. Of course he insisted on buying you a couple which you repeatedly told him not to. Obviously he didn’t listen and bought you them.

Next door was the Italian restaurant Rafe had been raving about all week. Promising you it’d be the best pasta of your life.

But as you looked over the menu, a ghost of a grin hasn’t left your mouth all evening, his phone started ringing. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket beginning to apologize for not silencing it. He was going to ignore the call but the name across the screen had his brows furrowing in worry.

“Everything okay?”

He looked up briefly, “Uh yeah it’s my captain. I’m so sorry I need to answer this.” You nodded understanding as he gave you a regretful smile as he slid out the booth to take the call. You continued to look over the cocktail menu.

Rafe sighed as he sat down across from you again, “Everything okay?” You asked

He shook his head, “I hate to do this but I got called in. I wasn’t supposed to work today but there’s a hug pile up downtown where there’s a big concert and they need all the help they can get.”

You tried not to show the disappointment you felt because it was his job after all. Rafe could still see how your eyes lost a bit of their shine and your smile wasn’t as bright anymore. He really hated this. In his career so far he had never been called in so much. But now when he meets the hottest woman he’s ever seen work is taking over his life. He was not about to have you slip through his fingers.

“Oh yeah I understand. You can just drop m-“ You began saying before he interrupted.

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

He shook his head with a laugh, “Not to the wreck to the station. Wait for me there.”

He didn’t even wait for you to reply because for one he needed to leave now or Captain Matthews would chew his head off. And two if you decided you didn’t want to and wanted nothing to do with him anymore he’s take you home, but the sound of your laugh as he pulled you through the restaurant was enough of an answer. Your hands stayed locked together until you got back into his truck.

The station wasn’t too far from where you already were so the drive was short. Rafe rushed out to open your door and grab your hand once again. As you trailed behind him you saw a few of the guys from career day and some new faces as they all stood by an engine in the garage. A couple were checking equipment and a few others were already getting on the truck.

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we need your help here Cameron,” An older guy said as the two of you approached. You assumed this was his captain.

You smiled, “Duty calls right?”

He laughed, “It sure does.”

“I’ll be right out,” Rafe said leading you into the station. He walked you into a room that was like a big living room with couches and a tv. Max was laying on the couch and when he saw Rafe he immediately got up and walked over to the pair.

“This is Max. Say hi Maxie bug,” He pet the dogs head who then sniffed your leg. You bent down petting his fluffy head.

“Hi Maxie.”

“Make yourself at home and feel free to anything in the kitchen. I’ll be back hopefully in a couple hours. If you get bored and uber home I won’t be offended I promise,” Rafe said placing a hand on your shoulder.

You nodded, “Got it. Be safe and good luck.”

He leaned in with a grin and kissed your cheek gingerly. Even that small touch had your head spinning. You and Max watched as he jogged back outside and only a couple minutes later you heard the truck leave.

-

It had been almost two hours now and Rafe was still out. You had watched a fe episodes of your favorite sitcom and played with Max a bit. You even explored the station finding the kitchen and a few of the rooms used for sleeping where you stole a blanket from to lay over yourself on the couch. The only issue you were having was that you were starving.

Since you two had to leave dinner you hadn’t eaten since lunch and that meesley turkey sandwich was not cutting it.

That’s when you wandered into the kitchen and that habit of wanting to take care of people kicked in. You looked through to see what the guys had almost expecting to find the bare minimum. You were so wrong. The fridge and pantry were filled with groceries. You thought these guys must really eat a lot.

You started brain storming and decided on making lasagna and garlic bread. You figured they’d all be hungry when they got back and you were also starving. As the garlic bread finished in the oven and the lasagna cooled down you heard the rumbling of the fire truck. Perfect timing. You hoped you didn’t overstep but he did say make yourself at home. You even baked some chocolate chip cookie dough they had in the fridge. Even also tossing a salad to have on the side.

As Rafe opened the door that led to the station the smell of garlic bread and fresh baked cookies hit him. He thought he must be hallucinating until he walked into the kitchen and saw you getting plates out from the cupboard. A few of the guys walked in behind Rafe.

“Hey we’re back,” Rafe said stepping towards you, “Did you make dinner?”

You nodded a bit of embarrassment creeping up your spine, “Yeah hope you guys don’t mind. I was hungry and I figured you were too so I made food for you all.”

Josh stepped forward looking at the pan of lasagna, “Rafe keep her please, this looks amazing.”

“Seriously thank you this looks so good,” Captiain Matthews said as he stepped in.

“No problem please help yourselves,” You motioned towards the counter of food.

Rafe couldn’t look away from you. The way you stood so comfortably in the station kitchen talking to his coworkers. He walked closer towards you as the guys served themselves.

“You are just too sweet huh?” He teased.

“Well we missed our italian dinner so I made it myself,” You shrugged with a grin.

“That just means next time I’m cooking for you,” He said. The thought of there being a next time brough butterflies to your stomach.

“I’ll hold you to it,” You nodded.

Rafe grabbed a plate and began to serve you food. Handing over the plate before serving himself. All the guys thanked you as Rafe led you to the living room area. He also grabbed a bottle from one of the tall cabinets along with two glasses.

“Now I know this isn’t what I promised you but next time will be better,” He promised as he opened the bottle of wine.

“There’s no complaints from me about this date,” You shrugged, “Since when are you allowed to have alcohol in here?”

He smirked, “Well miss I’m technically off the clock again and this is from the christmas party we had a few months ago. Cherry wine?”

Your eyes lit up, “It’s like you know me already, I love cherry wine.”

-

After your stomachs were full of good food and a bit of wine that made your head feel a bit floaty you both settled on the couch. This was the best date you’d ever been on. Rafe was sweet and flirty never hiding his desire for you. Not even in a sexual way but in a way where he constantly asked questions about everything wanting to know more about you. He talked about his life as well which only made you like him more. Hearing about his troubled privileged childhood that led him to where he is now. It was admirable to hear him talk about it with no shame since it made him who he is.

As it got later Rafe drove you home. You were disappointed the night was ending but it was nearing one in the morning and you still had lesson plans to create.

He walked you up to your door with an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

“I had a really great time with you tonight. I’m sorry again for the interruption.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it Rafe. I still had a great time.”

“The guys are going to want you around all the time now,” He laughed.

“Oops,” You shrugged with a smirk.

He stepped closer, “Be careful now I might get jealous.”

“Maybe I’ll keep going then,” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “I know it’s late but uh do you want to come in?”

Rafe didn’t hesitate, “Yeah sure.”

You unlocked your door leading him in, “I can make you a cup of tea if you’d like or something else.” You asked as you set your things down on the entryway table.

“hmmm something else?” He asks as he steps closer to you.

You look through your cupboards, “I have tea, coffee, some random-“ your words caught in your throat as you turned around to look at him only to find Rafe behind you.

“That all sounds good but I think I want something sweet,” He said as he inched closer. Your hands rested behind you against the counter. Eyes wide with anticipation and curiosity as to what his next move would be.

“Like sweat tea?” You asked knowing exactly what he means but not wanting to jump to conclusions.

His smirk turned into a lopsided grin. He rubbed his hand over his mustache and shook his head stepping closer, “No that cherry wine was pretty sweet right?”

You nodded in agreement not taking your eyes off him.

“I think I want a bit more of that,” He was now practically caging you in against the counter. You felt like you were suffocating in him in the best way possible.

“Oh I don-“ He interrupted you by leaning forward and brushing his nose against yours. It shut you up immediately and then he broke the rest of the distance and pressed his lips to yours. You reciprocated moved your hands from the counter to pull at the blonde hair at the back of his head. His hands went to your hips pulling you closer to him then sliding up to your waist.

His thumbs going under your shirt the skin on skin contact made you shiver in the best way. Your mouths moved in sync as the kiss deepened.

Rafe could taste the sweetness but he wasn’t sure if it was the cherry wine or just you. He knew he was addicted to you now. He loved the way your hands felt in his hair and on his biceps and shoulders. He slotted his leg in between yours making you feel even closer to him. The small noises you were making made him sigh into the kiss.

He pulled away before kissing you a few more times and murmuring, “So sweet.”

You whined and tugged at his shirt to pull him back in. He smirked and gave you what you wanted. He’d give you anything you wanted.

This time you pulled away feeling a bit bold and the feeling of his thigh pressing against the place where you needed him the most helped you say, “You wanna see my room?”

He laughed softly kissing your nose, “You inviting me to your room?”

You scoffed a laugh, “Nooo I’m asking if you want to see my room. There’s a difference.”

“I’d love to see your room.” He said with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes playfully and shoved him. Grabbing his hand and leading him down the hallway to your room. You turned on the lamp on your nightstand which illuminated the room with a soft glow. Rafe had decidedly that he loved seeing you in that light. You looked like a real like angel.

“So this is it,” You said motioning to your surroundings.

He threw his head back with a hearty laugh, “Oh I really like you sweetheart. Come here,” He motioned with his fingers for you to come closer. A motion that had your mind in the gutter.

“Why do you say that?” You question as you walk forward to where he stood at the end of your bed.

“Because you’re all cute and sweet like you didn’t almost make me come just by making out.”

“Rafe!” You said with a surprised laugh.

He shrugged, “What? It’s the truth.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck still feeling bold. There was something about how unabashedly he admitted his feelings towards you that had you feeling confident. It felt good to be wanted. It felt good to be wanted by Rafe.

“You’re ridiculous,” You said as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His eyes moving down to your still swollen lips.

“Mhmm,” He hummed and nodded. He leaned in just like he did earlier in the kitchen. Kissing the air out of your lungs. His hands moved all over you gripping and holding anything he could.

His hand slipped down your back and over your butt, giving a squeeze as he past it, down to the end of your skirt, His fingers trailed up the back of your thigh and up your skirt. Hands gripping your ass under your skirt. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips which allowed him more access into your mouth.

There was a small part of your brain that hadn’t quite turned off yet. Rafe’s lips began to trail down to your neck leaving open mouthed kisses that had you arching into him. The feeling of his mustache against your smooth skin had you shivering.That’s when that part of your brain decided to speak up.

“Oh Rafe,” You said breathily eyes fluttering shut, “are you sure, it’s late and don’t you have work?” Rafe groaned as he kissed the spot behind your ear. He couldn’t help but get more turned on at the sound of her caring about him, but work and sleep were far from his mind. Right now he just wanted to bury his head between your thighs and have you moaning and withering underneath him.

“Baby I could care less about that right now,” He walked you back until you were sat on the bed. The bed wasn’t very tall so when he stood in between your legs you had to look up at him. The way he towered over you had your flimsy underwear feeling soaked. You had never been so turned on by a man.

Rafe reached forward to cup your jaw. Thumb stroking your cheek gently. Now that part of your brain was completely silent. All you could think about was him.

“You’re so beautiful,” He mumbled almost to himself.

A soft smile appeared on your face and he practically groaned again. Your doe eyes looking up at him with an innocent smile had his cock hardening even more if that’s possible. He bit his lip and watched as your eyes moved to his mouth. He knew you wanted him as bad as he wanted you and that made this all the more exciting.

He slowly trailed his thumb to his mouth, pulling at her bottom lip teasingly. Almost like a habit your mouth opened slightly. He took this as a sign to gently push it into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it sucking and licking.

“Fuck,” He muttered as he felt your warm tongue. Where had you been all his life. He was never going to let you go. He pulled it out and leaned down kissing you again.

“You’re so hot,” He mumbled as he got on his knees in front of you. He removed your boots that you were still wearing and kissed up both legs. The intimacy of it all had your chest rising rapidly. The anticipation of just how good you know this man is going to treat you was enough to make your toes curl.

“I’ve been thinking about these thighs since I first picked you up,” He said as he kissed your inner thighs. He had placed your legs over his shoulders, hands gripping the outside of them. You sighed as your body ignited in pleasure.

You let out a small yelp as he pulled your center closer to his face causing you to fall back, “And fuuuck I’ve been thinking about pushing this little skirt up all night.” He hummed in appreciation as he pushed the black material up. Your feet now resting on the end of the bed. Your barely clothed pussy on display. Leaning back on your elbows you watched with hazy eyes as Rafe admired you.

He looked up at you through hooded eyes and a smirk, “Can I please taste you?” He knew you wouldn’t say no but he wanted to be a gentleman anyways.

“Please,” You whispered slightly bucking your hips up.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lace covered clit. The black lacy panties you had on barely doing anything to cover your slick cunt. He took a mental picture for the next time he was in the shower.

You moaned softly as he continued to kiss over panties, eventually pulling them to the side. He murmured curse words as he lifted his thumb to run through your folds. Gently slipping the tip of it inside you to gather your wetness. He trailed it up to your clot beginning to rub soft circles. The motion had your head falling back with a sigh.

Rafe turned his head and peppered kisses on your inner thigh. He pressed down a little harder as he watched you get wetter. After a few strokes he tentatively dipped his head down and licked your clit.

That was enough for him to know this is what he wanted to taste forever. He roughly pulled off the lacey matterial throwing it somewhere in the room.

He groaned as he fully dived in. Licking, sucking, and kissing just where you needed him to. He listened to your moans and soft whines to see what you liked the most. He was so painfully hard but he didn’t even care. Rafe just wanted you to come.

“Oh god Rafe,” You moaned as his tongue dipped into you. Your hands gripped his hair tugging when something felt extra good.

He moaned and the sound sent even more pleasure through you, “You taste so fucking good.”

“Rafe I’m close,” You panted, “you’re so good don’t stop please.”

He shook his head with his mouth still on you, “Never baby, you’re gonna have to pry me away from this pussy.”

The dirty words sending you even closer to the edge. You had never been talked to like this and you loved it. You liked how he ravaged you and actually paid attention to what you liked.

You felt his finger nudge your entrance before he slipped it in. Your walls tightening around his thick finger. You arched you back as he reached one hand up to press flat against your stomach to lay you down more. Then he added a second finger and you couldn’t help the cry that escaped your lips. It felt so good the way he moved them in and out. Fingers curled up hitting that spot you so desperately needed.

The lewd sounds of his fingers fucking you and his mouth on your clit filled the room. Along with your loud moans and his occasional groans. The roughness of his mustache felt so good on the sensitive bud.

“Rafey I’m-I’m gonna,”

“Mhmmm let go for me pretty girl,” He encouraged as his fingers moved faster and mouthed hungrily at your clit.

You became a shaking moaning mess as he continues his ministrations. Your orgasm taking over your body. His hand gripped your thigh roughly as he kept going until your high was over. Once your back was flar on the mattress he slowly pulled out and pressed one last kiss on your puffy clit.

He made his way up your body kissing your stomach over your shirt and then you exposed cleavage. He kissed you fully and you could feel his mustache damp with your arousal. You could also taste yourself on his tongue which had you moaning again. Rafe lifted you to be farther up the bed so he can comfortably lay on top.

“You taste so fucking good I already wanna do it again,” He said smirking as he pulled away.

You smiled in a daze, “You’re gonna be the death of me.” As you reached your hand down to the front of his pants. Your hand cupped him through the material and he groaned, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Fuck I really really want to do more but I actually do have work in a couple hours,” He groaned. He wishes he could just call off and spend the whole night rolling around in bed with you.

You looked at him with slight disappointment but understanding, “You sure?”

He leaned down and bit your neck playfully, “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll be easily convinced.”

You giggled, “I understand Rafe.”

“I’m seeing you again though. I never lied about that. Especially after you let me have a taste of you,” He groaned dramatically, “So fucking delicious I’m addicted.”

[3verythingiknowaboutlove]

say yes to heaven

how spencer and you deal (or don't deal) with the fact that he doesn’t want a baby anymore after coming home from prison, and you really do.

MDNI | angst

word count: 2226 warnings & tags & stuff: bau!reader, avoidant reader, avoidant spencer, no happy ending (wtf), reader wants a baby, one line about reader not having a certain religious belief, they like almost have sex, spencer undresses reader, lots of talk about a condom, they dont really fight at all?, very underdeveloped/bad description of quantum immortality author's note: heyyyyy guyss whats up..... this is a different vibe to my regular stuff and i fear it may be really ooc?? i don't know how to feel but i literally have to post or i'll go even more crazy sooo here we are!! have a delightful day, let me know your thoughts if you have any, ily!!!

Antique shops, you and Spencer have decided, are the hidden gems of this nation yet to be appreciated enough by the general public. 

Each town or city you visit is bound to have one, and going to them has become a little celebratory tradition. In the early mornings after cases are solved, right before the plane ride home, you take a look around. You’re typically the first and only ones in the store, wandering with intertwined hands and sipping on ‘2 extra foamy cappuccinos with an additional shot of espresso, please’ and occasionally, but not necessarily, choosing something to take back to D.C.

You’ve been trying your absolute hardest to fill your home to the brim– sometimes with objects, and other times with words, or touch, or the ever so valuable and fleeting concept of shared time– in effort to replace what had been lost in that three month long period when it was completely devoid of tangible, fresh love.

It’s today you’re wandering through a quaint, very cluttered shop in western Oregon, the Pacific visible from the store’s windows. 

Wheels up in an hour. Don’t be late. Hotch’s text buzzes in your pocket, but you barely glance at it– there’s something about the Oregon coast that reaches into your heart and gives it a gentle massage, enveloping you in a refreshing lack of urgency.

Spencer, in his own peaceful world, is staring at a tall wall of books. He reaches out to pick up a dusty rendition of Moby Dick, carefully cracking it open to the first few pages to check the publication date, brow scrunching as he reads. You go to peer over his arm to check as well, when something catches the corner of your eye. You let go of his hand to inspect.

A bassinet. Dark wood, surface polished to a faint sheen, with intricate little waves engraved on the sides, like the ocean’s misty outreach had come all the way into the shop and placed this here for you to see. 

You weren’t exactly sure when this now familiar ache had started; this deep, internal desire felt in your stomach for a little hand to be gripped around your pointer and for tiny onesies to fill your laundry basket, but you’re sure, with every fiber of your being, that you want it to be there.

“Spence,” you say softly, voice jarring in the otherwise stillness of the shop. “Come look.” He carefully closes the book and puts it back where it was and pads over, looking down at the bassinet. His eyebrows raise slightly.

“Wow. It looks like it was made in the 80s, maybe even earlier. You won’t find any level of detailing more recently than that, it’s too labor intensive for modern production methods. Good find.”

“I know. Should we get it?” you ask, biting a smile. He quickly meets your eyes, brow raising slightly.

“Do you want to?” he asks, voice even.

“I mean, I just think it’s really cute, with the waves and stuff.” you say bashfully, nudging it with your toe so it rocks back and forth. Spencer swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

“Yeah, I just…” Spencer hesitates. “I don't think we’d be able to bring it on the jet. It would probably snap in half if we held it in the wrong way,” he says, making your brain race even though he hasn’t said a single thing that should cause it to do so.

“Oh.”

You blink.

“No, yeah, you’re totally right. It’s too inconvenient. You should get that copy of Moby Dick instead. That edition looked cool, with the forward explaining all the names,” you say gently, pushing a smile, nudging him back towards the shelf. He goes, shooting you one last glance as you move to observe a few clocks hanging on the wall.

Spencer doesn’t reach for your hand again when he comes back.

…

The house is quiet when you arrive back home, hours later. Spencer sets his bag down by the door, and yours goes next to his to be dealt with later.

Exhaustion from the case is heavy in your limbs; the long flight and the sleepless nights are seeping into your bones, but Spencer seems perfectly intent upon kissing it better. You rest your forehead on his chest, exhaling softly, contentedly, as he presses kiss after kiss into your hair. He gently rests his hands on your waist and pushes you against the door– not as an act of dominance, like if someone were viewing you two from afar might assume, but one of simple convenience.

His hand reaches up to tilt your chin to the position he wants. Before leaning in to your neck, he pauses. 

“Are you sure you don’t just want to go to bed?” he asks. “You didn't sleep last night.” You shake your head, giving his cheek a small peck of your own.

“It’s one of those tireds where I can’t even think about sleep ever again.” 

A small smile grows on his face.

“I bet I can change that,” Spencer offers, knuckles skimming over your waist. You smile and let him tug you upstairs to your room and guide your hips to sit on the bed. His hand cups the side of your jaw, as always, lips moving to press against yours in a soft, affectionate display of his adoration. His other hand moves to your waist, squeezing, and you shiver a little in response, making him hum gently. 

His hands go underneath the hem of your top. “Okay?” he asks. You nod, lifting your arms to help. His eyes take their time tracing over you, but never in a way that couldn't be defined as sweet. His hand leaves your cheek and goes to the bedside table, sliding open the drawer. It draws toward the front left corner, as it always does, when it pauses. He turns to look at you, hesitating.

You, whose legs are now pulled up to your chest, chin resting on them. You stare at the yellow light of the lamp you and Spencer picked out months ago reflecting against those countless little squares of foil. 

Your lips are drawn inwards, between your teeth, unable to help your mind from racing to other realities, ones where every detail is the very same, except Spencer chose not to open that drawer tonight. 

…

Spencer explained the basis of quantum immortality to you a long time ago, in the early stages of your relationship, at a time so late in the night where a regular person would never be able to form coherent thoughts, let alone thoughts like these.

You were slumped over the kitchen island, peering at him as he wandered around, silently marveling at the preciousness of your boyfriend the world seemed to take for granted as he tried to get you to understand how cool this concept was.

“There’s also an interpretation of quantum mechanics proposed by a physicist named Hugh Everett which involves a ‘many worlds’ concept: essentially, it suggests that every possible outcome of an event creates its own branch of reality, meaning an infinite number of parallel worlds exist, each containing a version of events where everything that can happen, does happen,” he starts, widening his eyes for dramatic effect. “So quantum immortality is rooted in the concept that when we die in one timeline, we essentially just move on to the next one where every detail is the same except… well, you don’t die.”

He went on to emphatically talk about some guy’s cat in a box, but how this time, in a thought experiment that demonstrates this theory of immortality, you’re the cat.

You had pretty much lost him when he got to that part.

…

You blink, shoving the memory from your mind. 

“You’re staring,” you point out quietly.

“You’re pretty,” Spencer responds. He sits next to you on the bed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You watch as his other hand fiddles with the condom he grabbed, running his thumb over the edges of the wrapper. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he says, “Did I do something?” You shake your head softly. 

“Mm-mm.”

“Really? Because we’ve been sitting in silence and you haven’t stopped staring at the condom in my hand for the past two minutes.”

You exhale quietly, internally screaming at yourself to just spit it out.

It’s never been easy, being an agent dating an agent. Sure, agreements have been made to not profile each other, but with so many years of experience, small observations and connections about your partner’s nature are an automatic practice. You know that Spencer takes 3 sugars in his coffee just as well as you know he says your name more frequently and shortens his sentences when scared, almost like he tries to instead convey the appearance he’s mad.

You also know very well that you and Spencer have both been consciously avoiding this conversation like the plague, especially since his homecoming. 

You gnaw at your lip, trying to think of something to say, but your mind can only come up with freaky images of cats that are simultaneously alive and dead until observed.

“`M sorry, I was just thinking. Lost in my mind.”

“Thinking about what?”

Relationships that are simultaneously kept and broken until a certain conversation is had.

“Um. Quantum immortality. Who’s that guy? Hugh Jackman?”

Spencer straightens, eyebrows raising a little. “Hugh Everett,” he supplies. His tone is gentle, coaxing. “You’ve been thinking about that? I told you about him months ago.”

He stands as you quietly think of a response, grabbing a hoodie from the closet to tug over your bare torso, letting his hand gently cradle the back of your head after doing so.

“Yeah. I did a little more reading on it. It’s kind of a nice thought I keep going back to. Obviously really, really scary when you think about it for too long. But nice in the sense that there’s probably a version of us out there somewhere where…” you trail off, suddenly extremely aware of the weight of your words. 

He glances down to the condom he left on the comforter.

The thick silence that follows feels like it stretches across a thousand timelines, each one probably also filled with countless what-ifs and unspoken words and really bad communication, and at the very root of all of it, fear. That deep, gaping hole in both of your souls.

When Spencer finally looks at you, his eyes are so deep it takes your breath away. So deep that it jars you into just saying it.

“Spencer,” you begin, voice so quiet. “Do you still want kids?”

You find yourself shooting up a silent prayer to whoever is out there looking out for you– God or Isaac Newton or Hugh Everett or Jason Gideon: 

Pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes.

When he doesn’t answer right away, you continue– a habit probably picked up from the person standing right in front of you. “I just feel like there was a time where we were almost talking about it, but then it… went away.”

He reaches out to gently take the condom you were now fiddling with and sets it back in the drawer, his hand resting on the edge of the table as if grounding himself. His face is soft, almost glowing in the dim yellow light.

“I know,” he starts, voice crackling at the edges.

You stay dead silent.

“I didn’t mean for it to go away,” Spencer says, the crack in his voice causing you to glance up and see his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

You nod, shakily, though the perpetual ache in your stomach is sharper now, more like it’s a knife stabbing you through the gut.

“I get it,” you say, even though part of you doesn’t want to. “You don’t need to be sorry.” You can’t even bring yourself to think of the implications of what he just said– all you know is that there is something fundamentally different between you and Spencer that wasn’t there before.

“It’s not that I don’t want it. I do. You know I do. But I can’t. Not now.”

You reach out your hand for him to take.

“Spencer,” you whisper. “It’s okay. Really. We don’t have to talk about it any more.”

His lips press into a thin line, and you can tell he doesn’t believe you. Clearly. It wasn’t a statement said to be believed. There was nothing okay, at all, but this isn’t a fight- there’s nothing to fight about. There's just a quiet understanding. He nods, finally, and steps back. “We should get some sleep,” he says, his voice almost too soft to hear.

You watch as he pulls back the covers and slides into bed, still in his work clothes, leaving just enough space for you beside him. After a moment you curl up next to him because, despite everything, doing the alternative would be so much worse.

Spencer's arms wrap around you, his breath warm against the nape of your neck, and you close your eyes and let the silence settle over you both, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your back. Something you would have given anything to have not so long ago.

[lotussimscc]

My Favorite Downloadable Sim Creators!

If you are anything like me, you end up putting a lot of effort into your main character sim, but don't really have the energy to create the rest of the town. The townies the game creates just don't fit the world you created in your head, so you end up disappointed. Well, a great solution is downloading other people's amazing sims and using MCCC to populate them in your town! No more random ugly townies, now you have pretty people with their own stories! Here is my list of favorite sim creators (in no particular order) and a brief description about what they make:

@wildfairies (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. Makes a nice blend of regular and occult sims. They all look unique and pretty without being too overly detailed or distracting while playing! Most available sims have one outfit each.

@sunnyssimming (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Mix, CC-mid. Makes gorgeous female sims (and one guy). She makes mostly Maxis-Match, but some hair or makeup might dip into the alpha category. Available sims have one outfit each.

@m0ckest (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Free (she has a page with default replacements she uses if you want the sims to look one-to-one). She releases townie makeovers, brand-new sims, and lots. I'm honestly pretty impressed with how good her sims look without using CC!

@pearlean (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match/Custom Art Style, CC-Mid/Heavy. She has her own art style which I would say is closest to something like Telltale's Walking Dead game, which is aided by her beautiful GShade preset. Some base sims and some with one outfit.

@nikatyler (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite. If you want a full catalog of available sims, you'll want to check her out (seriously, 29 pages of Sims 4 downloads alone, and she has stuff for Sims 3 as well). She has townie makeovers, brand-new sims, lots, and a good mix of regular and occult sims! Most downloads have all outfits included.

@seyvia (Tag) - Maxis-Mix, CC-Mid/Heavy. She has a more cartoony art style with large eyes and expressive faces, which is right up my alley! She has also remade the Stardew Valley bachelors/bachelorettes and even has some CC-Free downloads. Downloads have all outfits included.

@puppycheesecake (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. They have some really creative ideas for sims, with a lot of horror/occult/fantasy-inspired ones (although there are plenty of regular sims, too!) Some downloads have all outfits, some have one, but it is labelled which is which on each sim.

@youngcozyboy (Tag) - Maxis-Mix/Alpha, CC-Heavy. Anime/cartoon-influenced, with some more NSFW downloads/pictures sprinkled in there. They have a large catalog of downloads/townie makeovers and plenty of fantasy-inspired sims (which is something I always love to see). They are Korean, so you'll have to rename the sims once you've downloaded them if you don't speak it, but that isn't a big deal. Also, their screenshots are so expressive and pretty, it really captures each sim's personality! Most sims have one outfit included.

@ladychaos (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite/Free. She has her own save file that you can download and use, but she also posts everything to the gallery and her Patreon! Her lots and households all have a cozy look/feel to them and have their own stories to tell. I particular love her Strangerville ones! All downloads have all outfits included.

@bansheeso (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match/Mix, CC-Mid. If you are looking for some pretty occult boys (and one girl), then she is the person to go to. I love populating my town with some occult/fantasy sims, so her creations are great for my world! Their household names are in Ukrainian, but that's not a problem since they can easily be renamed. Each download has one outfit.

@fallstaticexit (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. Some nice looking townie makeovers along with some retired sims from their stories. Really solid additions to any world! If you do check her out, be sure to look at her Children of the Forest story, I'm very invested in it! Some come with all their outfits and some come with one.

@acuar-io (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. He makes some great, unique-looking sims and makeovers. No same-face syndrome here, each sim has their own distinct face structure with some wrinkles, moles, and other details that I feel like get overlooked too often to make the most beautiful sim. Unique sims have one outfit and makeovers have all outfits.

@kharssims (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid/High. He focuses on male sims and they look great! The perfect amount of facial details like wrinkles, freckles, and moles to keep them looking unique and like an actual person you could come across. Each download has one outfit.

@thebramblewood (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite/Mid. While they may not have a huge catalog, I think that they have a great selection of maxis-match sims, both makeovers and originals, to choose from. My personal favorite of theirs is Bridget Bledsoe from their Occult Sim Dump! Each sim has one outfit.

Some Honorable Mentions!

@occultradio (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. They don't make sim downloads often, but I love the ones they have available so much. Their Mothman is one of my favorite sims in my entire gallery!

@mothelette - They don't have their sims up for download, but I gotta point out the witchcraft they perform to make their beautifully-stylized sims. Their creations are amazing.

@nefarrilou - They don't have their sims up for download, but they do create beautiful lookbooks. Occults, townie makeovers, and recreations of popular characters in media, they'll have something you'll enjoy!

[peachii-nitenite]

Much Needed Support Part 3 (semi-nsfw)

JayVik x Reader

Synopsis: Your dutiful friends nurse you back to health, and they get back to work on your braces. After 2 weeks of anticipation, they stop by; and the three of you figure a lot of things out about each other very quickly. (3.8k words) Content: reader with feminine pronouns, sexual tension, fluff, mutual pining, self-doubt, idiots in love, getting sick, friends to lovers, pervy daydreams, mentions of chronic pain, descriptions of chronic pain, heavily implied hand kink, enthusiastic consent, Dom!Viktor, Service Top!Jayce, subby reader

taglist: @chickentenderx, @miraculousasscheeks

the smut is coming I promise! this chapter had to be split in two because of just how much there is, but that means the final part will be done VERY soon! I thrive on making ridiculously self indulgent bullshit these days lololol

anyways, you know the drill, have fun!

You woke up fully clothed, sweaty, hot, and congested in the dead middle of the night, with a prominent mind fog. Your voice was gone, your body was achy, and it took a bit of effort to remember how you’d gotten home.

And then you remembered, oh, how you remembered.

the fleeting touches in the lab, the warmth of Jayce's chest, Viktor's cool hand against your face--

You wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

You evaluated the situation-- there was a glass of water and a few aspirin on your nightstand, your door was slightly cracked open, and the lights in your living room were still on.

They were probably still there.

The thought was comforting, and made your heart flutter ever so slightly.

Through the muggy sick-fog of your mind, recounted your earlier encounter with your friends in the lab. You could almost feel the phantom traces of fingers and palms against your skin, the breath of kind words against your ear. You smiled. They were so kind, so understanding, so reliable-

And so, so attractive

You could no longer lie to yourself, not when the facts were laid so plainly in front of you.

You had it bad. For both of them.

But examining that any further would have to wait, as your waking senses became acutely aware of your aching joints and muscles. You glanced at the water and pills on the nightstand.

“Up we go” you mumbled in a near silent rasp.

You coughed, weakly attempting to sit up, and promptly failing. You groaned against your pillow in frustration.

Everything hurt. 

You wouldn't be able to tough this out alone, you begrudgingly realized.

You had had similarly bad pain flare ups in the past, but being sick on top of it made it significantly worse. Getting up on your own was no longer an option. 

You opted for the next best thing. 

“Guys?… you there?” You rasped out, hoping they could hear you. You weren’t sure what time it was, but you knew your friends were night owls. There was a 90% chance both of them were still up.

It was embarrassing, having to ask for help getting out of your own bed…. but at least you had the excuse of being sick, instead of it being solely due to your aching joints. 

Small victories, you supposed.

Within seconds you could hear the heavy patter of Jayce’s footsteps, and the soft metallic tapping of Viktor’s cane against the floor. The door creaked open further as Jayce poked his head inside.

“You called?” He asked softly, hesitating before stepping fully into your room.

 While he had hung out at your place before, he had never actually been inside your bedroom. Though he couldn’t make out much of the details in the dark, there was something…thrilling about it. It smelled like you; like the lotion you used, like whatever you put in your hair, like your favorite candle- and the realization was briefly dizzying.

And there you were once again, bundled up in your bed and beckoning him over with a weak hand. He shuffled over to you quickly upon your nonverbal permission. Viktor suppressed a chuckle at the sight. Always so polite, always so eager, and always, always so obedient.

But now was not the time for such thoughts.

After all, their main focus was nursing you back to health at the moment.

“Help me sit up…please..” you whispered, knowing speaking any louder would just hurt. Jayce nodded and swiftly, yet still gentle as ever, got you upright against your headboard. He switched on the small bedside lamp, causing you to wince at the light. “Sorry, sorry…” he cooed, patting you back as you rubbed your eyes.

“How are you feeling?” Viktor inquired, following Jayce to your side and sitting on your bed. He brought his hand to your face once again, and you sighed at the temporary relief of his cold palm against your cheek. “Like shit….gross and sweaty…” you grumbled, leaning into his cool touch. It was nice. He felt so nice…

You pouted when he pulled away. It did not go unnoticed.

“Are you hungry?” Jayce asked with concern. His natural inclination to help was very sweet, you thought. “We can make you something, if we can borrow the kitchen…”  

You shook your head, reaching for your water and the aspirin. It went down smooth; soothing, but only temporary. That fact made you groan. “Nn…no…too achy…” you saw him deflate a bit, with those big, sad puppy eyes….

How could you refuse him?

“…soup. In the upper left cabinet.” You relented hoarsely, watching as his face lit back up. It was adorable how he wanted to be helpful, but it felt wildly unfair at the moment. 

But you could tell they were pleased that you were asking for help, so you decided to let it slide. “First. Too warm, too many clothes…” you didn’t have the energy to be bashful about it, as you started weakly tugging at the collar of your sweat laden sweater.

Though, it didn’t go unnoticed how the two of them tensed up.

Who’s hands would help you now?

You shuddered as the thought, alongside the memories of their calloused palms against your bare skin, slithered into your feverish mind.

Viktor looked away, avoiding your eyes lest he give in to your request first. ‘Sorry Jayce, you’ll have to bear with it for now’ he thought pityingly.

“Please?” You locked eyes with Jayce, and he swallowed audibly.

So cute. So kind.

How could he refuse you?

“O-of course, just a second-“ he stammered before reaching under your sweater to help you shimmy your way out of the clammy fabric. He averted his gaze the moment he caught a glimpse of your navel, opting to tug semi blindly until it was finally off. 

And then you giggled.

Giggled.

A slightly delirious, wispy sound, but still a giggle as you asked--

“J…Jayce…why so stiff?”

It took every ounce of strength in him not to turn back to you, to drink in your bare, flushed form in the dim light of the lamp.“It’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen already, and not much to see anyways…” you joked, peeling off the covers.

So cruel.

And you didn’t even realize how much you were torturing them.

Or, just how perfect you were to them.

You started fumbling with the zipper of your skirt, grunting at the clumsiness of your hands at the moment. They were quickly replaced with long, cold, pale fingers effortlessly unzipping the offending article of clothing and opening it just enough for you to shuffle out of it. 

“Mm…thanks V..” you mumbled, sighing at the cool air against your skin.

Viktor had moved before really thinking about it, managing to keep more of a level head about it. 

That is, until he laid eyes on a small, thin, painfully familiar strip of fabric.

Your panties, now in full view, and no longer dismissable as a trick of the light or a figment of his perverted imagination.

They were cute.

You were so cute.

His eyes slowly drifted back to you in full, exhaling slowly through his nose. The labored rise and fall of your chest, the soft glow of the light on your skin, and the little, goofy smile on your face. If he hadn't known you were sick, the scene would have been intensely erotic.

Well…It still was, but he told himself otherwise to reign in the thoughts racing through his mind a mile a minute. Focus. Now was not the time.

He couldn’t help but start to feel like his plan to wait was now in jeopardy.

He cleared his throat, pulling his hands away as he got back up.

“Is… is this better?” He asked, turning his face away as casually as he could in this situation. 

“Mhm…thanks…” you sighed in relief as you kicked the skirt off of the bed, re-tangling yourself in your covers. You winced, having moved your leg a bit too harshly. Jayce noticed immediately, moving to help you lie back down with tense, but gentle hands. 

His stupidly big, warm hands.

“Why’re your hands so damn…big..” you quietly thought out loud, closing your eyes as you relaxed into his grasp. You could feel him still for a moment, before continuing to situate you on the bed. You paid it no mind, cocooning yourself under your comforter.

 Jayce backed away, stiffly b-lining for the door. Viktor sighed as he let his partner slip past, following suit in leaving you to rest. “We’ll be in the kitchen, I will leave the door open, so call if you need us.”

You hummed in response, and he swiftly left your doorway.

Your two friends stood silently in your kitchen; tense.

“....we have to wait until she is no longer sick.” Viktor whispered, gaze never leaving the floor as he gripped his cane.

“I know.” Jayce sighed, looking down at his hands.

Thinking of how soft you were under his palms.

Viktor looked up, locking eyes with Jayce.

“.....”

“.....”

“It will not be easy.” he admitted, letting himself lean against the wall.

“Not at all, no.” Jayce groaned as he brought a hand down his face.

“But…I do have a feeling I am correct” Viktor smiled, moving over to his partner’s side. 

You had to get better first. Their own dilemma could wait.

—-

They persevered, all things considered. They kept a vigilant watch through the night, making sure you ate and took some cold medicine, adjusting the pillows on your bed to keep you comfortable- anything at all that you needed, they did their best to provide. Luckily, you had no classes the following day, and they made sure you remained in bed even when you insisted you were feeling well enough to be up and about. You hated feeling so unproductive, but you could admit that it was nice to be taken care of for once. You felt guilty for taking up so much of their time, knowing that they were often busy; but they reassured you that it was no burden whatsoever.

“Please never hesitate to ask us for help. With anything.” Viktor had implored, noticing your apprehension about allowing them to take care of you. They were unconvinced by your promises that you could look after yourself, knowing full well that if they left you would not rest properly. You gave up on resisting on the third plea.

You were well enough to attend class the day after that, and it was back to your dreaded daily academic routine. You almost felt spoiled, being so well taken care of those past two days. It made you daydream of a reality where that could be your everyday.

The three of you, together.

The days flew by uneventfully, until two weeks had passed in the blink of an eye; your dreams consistently permeated by the two of them. Endless, fleeting fantasies of what could have happened that night in your bedroom. Steamy images of Viktor’s head between your legs, Jayce holding your thighs open for him. Taking turns, the meeting of lips, and lewd, desperate noises. 

Without fail, you woke up hot and bothered before the climax.

And without fail, it grew harder and harder to ignore.

Who could blame you? You could hardly blame yourself at this point-

Not when you kept replaying their reactions that day in your mind, picking them apart and trying to rationalize them. Every lingering touch and heated glance sent your mind on a tailspin straight into the gutter. “Was it delusional to think they might feel the same?”  you worried, pacing around your living room. It was the end of the week, your work was done, and you had nothing to do but think.

You flopped on your couch, yelling incoherently into the cushion. It only helped slightly.

 It had been two weeks, and you had barely seen them. Jayce had reassured you once you felt better that they would continue working on your braces. But since then, you'd heard no updates. You could have visited the lab to check on them, sure, but something odd inside of you made you refrain from doing so.

You were anxious.

 It's not that you didn’t trust them, it was simply that you didn't want to bother them, or interrupt them further. And you certainly did not want to make a fool out of yourself on account of your yearning. “They haven't updated you for a reason, obviously.” you mentally reprimanded yourself. “Don't get all stir-crazy over nothing”

Despite thinking that, you were still overjoyed to hear a knock at your door. You scrambled to the door, straightening your clothes and taking a deep breath. You swung the door open, and there they stood: the men that plagued your dreams. “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Jayce beamed down at you “We just couldn’t wait much longer.” 

The way that Viktor sighed and shook his head made you tilt your head ever so slightly.

“We brought dinner, if you're not busy.” Viktor held a bag of takeout food. Your favorite takeout food. You were touched that they remembered what you liked. Meanwhile, Jayce held a rectangular gift box, not unlike ones that would normally hold clothing. Your eyes lit up in recognition.

The braces.

 Forgetting your anxiety, you could feel your nerves buzz with excitement. Viktor smiled at how your face lit up when you saw them, feeling accomplished. “Of course! Come in, come in!” you chirped, stepping aside to let them into your dorm. 

They insisted you eat first; having correctly guessed that you hadn't had anything since early in the morning. Your anxiety was doing a number on your appetite, and after failing to assure them that a snack counted as a meal, you relented and dug in. It was like nothing had changed, like you hadn't spent your nights desperate and lonely out of yearning. You spent the time catching up, complaining about class, asking about their week– and another realization sunk in.

You had missed them. A lot.

You felt horribly clingy, but it was true.

After you’d all had your fill, the moment of truth was finally there.

“Keep in mind that these are “technically” still in the prototype phase, so let us know if you want to change anything” Jayce explained, an anticipatory grin on his face as you opened the box. The knee braces were a stark, sleek black, made out of a soft yet sturdy neoprene-like fabric. The internal cording to provide support and structure were light and flexible, and judging by how they felt under your fingers, much stronger than the shabby boning of your old ones. In a motion that set off just a smidge of deja vu, you pulled up your skirt and chucked off your old braces without a care.

 Viktor raised a brow, raking his eyes over your clothed torso, before asking– “You’re…you are not wearing the corset as well, are you? I thought I told you-” he began to reprimand, taking a seat next to you on the couch. 

 “-that it will do more harm than good, I know.” you cut him off, sighing as you flexed your freed knee. ”I'm not wearing it, only the knee braces, I promise” you assured him, smiling. He huffed, a sort of half-laugh as he smiled back. 

“Don’t mind him, you know how he likes to nag” Jayce said teasingly, winking as he helped slide one of the new braces onto your first leg. You flushed ever so slightly at the proximity, as well as how…natural it felt this time. Like he belonged there, kneeling in front of you, assisting you so tenderly. Without skipping a beat, he had gently guided you into the brace, adjusting it against your skin and ensuring it was properly in place.

God, how you had missed his hands.

“I do not nag. I remind.” Viktor corrected, throwing a sharp glance at Jayce. The larger man ignored it, testing him further. “Same difference– now, other leg please?” he had turned his undivided attention to you, and when you locked eyes with him, there was something…different in his gaze. It wasn’t bashful like it had been in the lab, not at all.

There was want. And there was mischief.

A thrilling, and dangerous combination, assuming you hadn't imagined it.

You hadn't.

You slowly gave him your other leg, letting yourself lean back onto the couch, shifting your eyes to Viktor, as if for guidance.

You found that he was observing you in a similar manner; analyzing you, watching your reactions, and watching the path of Jayce’s dedicated hands. You almost felt naked under his gaze. “Jayce.” he softly murmured, with a warning tone. Just as the second brace was put into place, his hands stilled at the sound of his name. Your eyes flickered between the two of them, caught in the midst of the building tension.

“Oh…. there was definitely something going on between the two of them”  you thought, examining Jayce frozen in his spot kneeling before you like a dog in trouble.

And Jayce is definitely not the one in charge.

“Two weeks away, a successful prototype, and his ego inflates tenfold. What do I do with him, hm?” Viktor mused, a glint of…something in his eye. The question was definitely rhetorical, but something made you want to play along– to see how far you could take it.

“What…do you usually do about it?” you asked quietly, shifting in your seat on the couch.

The pause felt eternal, as every suppressed emotion and desire began to bubble up to the surface.

Best case scenario- your feelings are requited, and everything is fine

Worst case scenario- you can laugh it off and cry about it later. And then everything is fine.

You weighed the possibilities as you glanced between them. Viktor smiled, chuckling quietly.

“Jayce?” he called, tone eerily sweet. Jayce wordlessly turned to him, the air heavy with expectation. “Come here,” he said simply. Jayce got up, sheepishly moving to stand near Viktor’s end of the couch. “Now wait.” he ordered. You noticed Jayce’s expression for a fraction of a second. Was he…pouting?

Yes. yes he was.

And Viktor laughed dryly. “He’ll listen, so long as you ask him… correctly. So that is what I do.” He smiled slyly as he gestured for you to stand; and you did. You became less focused on their dynamic, however, when you immediately noticed the difference of the braces. They felt significantly more supportive than your other ones, and leagues more comfortable on top of that. There was a giddy excitement welling up, as well as just plain gratitude.

This was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for you.

“They’re amazing! I don't know how to thank you guys!” You beamed as you shifted your weight between both legs. While it wasn’t a cure for you pain, it would definitely aid your day to day, and that made all the difference. They looked thoroughly pleased just to see how happy you were with what they had made, exchanging proud glances as you tested them out.

“Don’t thank us just yet, you still have to try the back brace!” Jayce reminded you, expectantly looking between you and Viktor, as if for permission to present it to you.

“I said wait. I will help with it.” Viktor replied, reaching into the box to retrieve the garment in question. Jayce deflated.

Permission denied. 

“Do not sulk, you started it.” He reminded, scooting closer to you with the brace in his hands. It’s design matched the knee braces, made of the same sleek material and sturdy boning. It had no laces like your old corset— this new brace was elegant and seamless, with sturdy hooks and eyes to close it rather than the worn metal busks you were familiar with. You eyed it with curiosity before he piped up once more.

“If you could remove your sweater, I can help you try it on.” 

“Huh?”

You blinked.

Of course you’d have to take your shirt off. It only made sense. But they’d seen you shirtless twice now. Twice! Something about that fact made you hesitate, some odd feeling somewhere between giddiness and anxiety causing your fingers to tremble as they went to the hem of your shirt.

You didn’t really intend to do it so slowly, really.

You weren’t trying to tease.

But when it was finally off, and you saw the looks on both their faces, you couldn’t help but be a little smug. A pretty blush had painted its way across Viktor’s cheeks, cutely tinting his ears as his eyes remained fixed on you. Jayce was much the same, still glued to his spot on the other side of the couch.

You hadn’t lied, you weren’t wearing the old corset. In fact, you weren’t even wearing an undershirt. There you sat, your top half completely bare as you looked expectantly at Viktor’s hands, currently tightly gripping the brace conveniently covering his lap.

 You felt warmth pool in your core under their gaze. It was hungry; and if not for the extremely real draft in the dorm making goosebumps ripple across your skin, you’d’ve thought you were simply dreaming again.

Wordlessly, the slim man shuffled closer to you, gesturing for you to turn around so you he could help you into the brace. Your breath hitched in your throat as he reached around you from behind, nearly pulling you into his lap as he fastened the hooks and eyes in the front. “Is it too tight?” He whispered, lips dangerously close to your ear. You shook your head, shakily exhaling and he made his way to the final hook. “There. How does it feel?”

It was a perfect fit—just the right amount of structure and flexibility, without restricting your breathing or range of movement too much. You would have said as much, if you weren’t currently distracted by tantalizingly close he was as his breath tickled the shell of your ear. You swallowed, running your hands over the fabric. “It…it’s really nice too. Thank you…” you murmured, not moving an inch. 

It was now or never.

“H-hey, I have a qu-“

“Let me ask you something-“

The two of you paused as your voices overlapped. A dense silence filled the room.

 “Sorry, uh…you go first.” You giggled nervously. 

“…very well.” He said lowly, tone heavy with yet unspoken want. You felt him tense behind you for a moment, before you felt his hands snake their way onto your hips, up to your waist, before resting just below your breasts. Dangerously close. You gasped, pressing your thighs together at the spark of arousal the sudden touch sent through you.

“Let me ask you something— and be completely honest” he muttered into your ear, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. You whined softly as you nodded, not yet trusting your voice.

“You like it when we touch you— don’t you?”

You didn’t even have to turn around to know how intensely he was looking at you. His tone was accusatory, but held no malice. It was something closer to amusement, maybe anticipation. But he said it with all the confidence of a man that knew he was correct.

And how could you lie?

“Y-yes…I— I do…”

The words tumbled out before you could even think of being coy about it.

And that was all either of them needed to hear

-----

<prev. next>

[cheeseceli]

When your parents don't like them

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)

Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction

Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)

Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others

A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes

Bang Chan

‌HE'S SO SHOCKED

‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?

‌He believes he took it for granted

‌But he was so sure your family would love him

‌Rethinks everything he said and did

‌And thinks about what he could've done

‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me

"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"

"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."

"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"

"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."

"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"

"Chan."

Lee Know

‌ He knew he had to talk

‌ But it turns out he was too scared

‌And your parents just aggravated his problem

‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with

‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy

‌ But I swear he was trying his best

"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."

"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."

"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."

"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."

"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."

Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".

Changbin

‌ You warned him he was getting too close

‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...

‌ All the time

‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now

‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude

‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you

‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned

"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"

"Ideally, yes"

Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"

"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"

Hyunjin

‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents

‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms

‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like

‌genuinely sad

‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.

"So... About the dinner"

"They are always like this, don't worry"

"How come?"

"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"

"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"

"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"

He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"

"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"

"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"

He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"

Han

‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did

‌The problem was that he didn't do anything

‌Literally anything

‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions

‌He barely moved besides that

‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there

‌And Han wished he could disappear

"I'm so, so sorry"

"Ji, it's okay"

"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"

"You were just fine"

"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"

"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"

Felix

‌Your parents loved him actually

‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend

‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life

‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now

‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point

‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough

‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo

"How do I look?"

"Great, as always"

"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"

"Lix..."

"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"

"You look like someone my parents will like"

"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"

"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."

Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door

"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"

"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"

Seungmin

‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them

‌just kidding

‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him

‌And neither can Seungmin himself

‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him

‌He will face it like a challenge

"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"

"We just saw them less than an hour ago"

"I think we should see them again"

"Did you like them that much?"

"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"

"What? They didn't hate you at all"

"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"

"You seem certain"

"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"

"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"

"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"

I.N

‌Kinda clueless

‌Totally clueless actually

‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much

‌Will try to find ways to apologise

‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around

"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"

"What are you doing?"

"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"

"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"

"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"

"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"

"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"

He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.

"Lilies" you said

"What?"

"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"

"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist

[ronearoundblindly]

For the every Cevans character, what is each one’s favorite position in bed? 😏😆

Fac-i-na-ting. I have categorized them into similar positions and then broken down the specifics or variations. No, I do not know the actual names of a lot of positions. I use the terms 'top' and 'bottom' but NOT in a BDSM way.

Sincerely, MINORS DNI. Warnings for very smutty descriptions of each of these characters 'in the act' and just...do I need to warn you about how much I was sweating during this???

'Top' Positions

Curtis Everett - Jimmy Dobyne - Steve Rogers - Ransom Drysdale - [Bucky Barnes]

Curtis is a cramped-quarters kind of lover, like you have been fucked up the bed until you and he are pressed against that headboard like a pretzel on a baking sheet. Gahdamn, he is intense. He threads an arm beneath you to make sure you're as close as possible. He grinds his pelvis into you, loving how his balls slap your ass. He likes it real sweaty, but he'll help you clean up in the shower, too. Dirty boi. 😮‍💨 We need him.

Jimmy and Ransom like you bent over but in different ways. Ransom just enjoys doggie-style. He feels awkward with too much eye contact and doesn't have to worry about that from behind. Jimmy is exceptionally good at spontaneously pressing you back or down onto a counter or the couch or perhaps a fence outside. 😳 He's oddly into fucking with at least some clothes on, but not because he doesn't like your body. He has a thing for choosing sex over chores or other obligations, so he and you are dressed for doing whatever else. It's just a little naughtier that way.

Steve is--I'm sure we can all agree--a missionary man. He looooves that eye contact Ran is so afraid of, but BUT! Steve's also a most considerate gentleman. He worries about putting too much of his weight on you, so his actual favorite position in pinning you against a wall (or mirror or window, etc) because he can lean into you without fear. He also enjoys that you get very, very excited for him to hold you up like that. You wrap around his neck and kiss him like it's your purpose in life. You get handsy, and that's about his favorite part...

[I know you said CE characters, nonnie, but Bucky just sneaks in, sorry!]

Ngl, Bucky took me the longest to figure out, and I'm not entirely sure he has a true 'favorite,' something he likes a good deal more than other positions. I have, however, landed on Bucky going braindead and gooey inside when he gets you in a mating press. There's, uh, a symbolism to wanting him and his cum inside you for as long as possible that hits all the right buttons to shut him down to the rest of the world for a while. He likes to sit back afterward and grip your knees to keep you right there until some drips out as you clench around nothing. You aren't empty though.

[Why. the fuck. does Bucky always get so 🥵 in these?]

'Bottom' Positions

Johnny Storm - Jake Jensen - Lloyd Hansen

Lloyd lets himself be lazy. He legitimately tucks his hands behind his head like he's at the beach and taunts you to work harder. He's so used to ordering people around and being quite active. Unless he has some aggression/frustration to work through, Lloyd needs to not be bothered with effort. It's your turn. Put your back into it.

Jake lets you control everything. Let's be fair: Jake is just happy to be here, ya know? He gets to be naked, he gets to see you naked, and he is going to come no matter what. Use him to your heart's content. Don't try telling him not to touch you (like an order or a deprivation game) because he can't stop himself. Every other order or request, he's game for, but on his back offers the best view of you--and technically, his glasses fog less 😬.

Johnny straight up loves when you ride him. He controls everything from below, though, because it's not actually about you taking over. He loves guiding your hips. He loves fucking up into you. He loves already being prone to fall asleep faster. [Go on, try to tell me I'm wrong. ::listens:: ::crickets:: Yeah, that's what I thought.] It's a win-win-win situation. All around cannot fail to please him. Johnny is definitely the type to assume that what feels good to him feels as good for his partner.

'Side' Positions

James Mace - Ari Levinson

Mace technically changes positions so much it maybe doesn't count as 'side,' but he's so playful, I'll allow it. His favorite sex, in general, is filled with natural ebbs and flows, quicker frantic times as well as soft doting and sweet, blissful enjoyment. A position that puts either him and you a hair's breath away from taking over is ideal. He wants to enjoy your company as much as your body. Mace can do both of those things in many, many different positions.

[Mace is quickly becoming a sleeper-fave of mine, my gawd. He's 😘🤌]

Finally, if Ari doesn't scream "wants to wake up fucking you," I don't know who does. He's spooning you, or coiled together with you someway, and just...ready when he sees you first thing in the morning--or in the middle of the night. Why bother moving much? He'll lift that leg up for you. He'll wrap around you to cup your breasts, play with your nipples, and rub your clit. Don't you worry 'bout a thing. Doesn't have to do with the position you're in, per se, but Ari also gruffly whispers other shit he'd like to do to you in your ear. It's vaguely easier to do that when your heads are on the same pillow, just saying.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would..." Asks; Ko-Fi]

A/N: I successfully scheduled a post! Look at me, learning and shit...

[softtdaisy]

your favorite brother / Aaron Hotchner

summary. you thought you would never deal with Hotchner brothers again. And here came Aaron. Arresting you. And making up for the arrest.

words count. 3,055

what to expect. mention of murder, mention of abuse, mention of Sean (guess it's important to say it) not a real smut because i'm still uncomfortable writing it but it's implied

a/n. this might be one of my favorite fic since i started writing again, i really took the time to do something sensual. and i'm trying to something new with the gif so??? i hope you will love it 🤍

F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request

You’ve seen Aaron Hotchner more these past two days than the whole time you were dating Sean, his brother. 

It’s not like you didn’t try to back then. You always found it sad that both brothers weren’t in touch and didn’t seem close at all. Sean didn’t seem very fond of his brother, criticizing him a lot for many things that you didn’t even understand most of the time. You often thought that he was looking for excuses to blame Aaron for many things in his life that were not his fault. But it wasn’t your place to defend a man you never met. 

You only met Aaron once, in your ten months relationship with his brother.

You guessed he tried to do some effort by inviting him to Jack’s birthday that year. You almost didn’t come. It was the beginning of your relationship with Sean and you weren’t sure it was right to be there after months (years?) of the Hotchner’s brothers not seeing each other.

But Sean insisted. Saying he didn’t want to go alone in case they argue. So you were there. 

You remembered the first time you saw Aaron Hotchner.

He looked nothing like your boyfriend. Neither physically or mentally. Maybe that’s why it was harder to contain the immediate attraction you had for him.

Aaron had this dark masculine figure, so serious and imposing, yet with a little light coming from the happy look on his face that it was impossible to miss him. It was his son's birthday and Aaron was the center of attention.

You guessed the FBI outfit was different from the one he was wearing that day: a dark blue shirt that was revealing his biceps and veins and a dark jean that looked so good on his long legs. His hair was not styled, almost like he woke up a few minutes before you arrived.

And when he turned around to greet you, the smile that he gave you was easily one of the most beautiful ones you’ve ever seen. Sincere, genuine and glowing.

He was far from the gloomy figure that Sean described to you. You even wondered if he didn’t overstate that description to prevent you from falling for his brother. 

Funny coming from a confident man that never seems to fear losing his women.

As much as you tried to fight it, you ended up daydreaming about Aaron more than once that day. 

The way he bent over the table, talking to his coworkers, got you lost in your mind about being in this position too. With him.

The way he put a hand on your shoulder to thank you for being here got you thinking about the heat of his skin and how good it would feel elsewhere on your body.

Your brain even memorized his features so well that Aaron was even part of your dirty dream that night. You claimed it was the other Hotchner brother but you could never forget the feeling of the dark haired hands on your body. 

But the two brothers ended up fighting only a few days after Jack’s party and you put aside everything you remembered about Aaron right after. Not only because of the fight but because of the way Sean ended up treating you.

You never wanted to hear about the Hotchner brothers ever again.

And you could have easily gone with that state of mind for the rest of your life. If your coworker wasn’t killed in the elevator. 

Real problem.

You weren’t sure why the FBI got called on the case. Sure it was terrible and premeditated, you don’t kill someone on an elevator out of nowhere, not even after a bad day. And that man had a few complains against him for sexual harassment. It didn’t take two detectives to get the motive.

So when your boss told you that the FBI would work on the case, you didn’t really get it but accepted it.

But when you saw Aaron Hotchner coming through the door, you thought that maybe fate was behind it.

If the attraction was born on Jack’s birthday with his casual look, it came back bigger when you saw him. The charcoal grey suit, the burgundy tie, the dark hair perfectly styled, the silver watch shining on his wrist and the serious look on his face, everything made you lose it that day.

You weren’t the only one surprised by the unplanned and supposed-to-never-happen-again reunion. 

“Didn’t know you were working here.” Aaron said after he finished talking to your boss. He walked straight to your desk, his knees barely touching it. Like he was trying his best to not enter your life again.

“It’s not like you knew a lot about me.” you replied, folding your arms against your chest. You noticed his eyes looking down on you before going back to your face. This was almost a criticism. But could you really blame him for not staying in touch with his brother’s ex-girlfriend?

Aaron sighed, looking away to make sure nobody was listening. “Listen, I know you complained about the victim. We need to hear you.”

You tried not to look disappointed that it took him less than a minute to change the conversation and focus on the case. There was so much more you wanted to say. 

But you also noticed that it took him that same amount of time to change his mind about his place in your life and put a hand on your desk.

“What do you want me to say?” you asked, frowning. “He was convinced every person that walked through this door wanted to have sex with him. To the point he didn’t mind cornering people to get what he wanted.”

You noticed how the hand Aaron had put on your desk turned into a fist. “I slapped him, once.” you added. “It was during last year Christmas’ party. Apparently, my red dress attracted him like a bull to the point he followed me to the toilet to finally have his rest. He said it was my fault.” you took a break, breathing. “He’s the one who’s dead now.”

Maybe you dreamt it but you’re sure you saw a smile on Aaron’s face. Short and very small. But a proof he heard you. Anything else, Aaron?”

“I’ll tell you.” you loved how his eyebrows went up and down, just like his eyes on you. He took one second from his time to look at you before walking back to his team. 

You spent the whole day searching for him in corners and other rooms. Your colleagues always laughed about you being closed to the coffee machine as a way to satisfy your caffeine addiction. Which wasn’t completely false. But you were more than glad when the man haunting your thoughts came to take one more than once. It was good a distraction from work and the mess happening that day.

Next thing you knew, it was 8 p.m., your day was over and Aaron Hotchner was waiting for you. But not casually. 

He was waiting to bring you to the police station. 

“That’s a joke, right?” you asked, chuckling at the idea. It was kind of funny to be arrested by your ex brother-in-law. But there was no sight of fun on his face. 

And when he walked behind you to escort you, Aaron leaned closer to your ear. “Don’t make things more difficult.” he whispered. You closed your eyes for a second, imagining other moments where this man could whisper things in your ear. But only for a second. Because Aaron was walking quickly behind you, hurrying you up outside.

He was the one helping you get in the car. You appreciated the irony of him opening the door like a gentleman. Aaron noticed the look in your eyes, the anger of being arrested for something you clearly didn’t do. And the betrayal of him being the one arresting you. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

But you did. And it was the melody that stayed in your head the whole ride.

The questioning was pure torture.

Aaron asked to not do it, a conflict of interests that the team quickly learned about when they did some research on you. So you met agent Prentiss and Morgan. Well, meet again technically because you remembered seeing them at Jack’s birthday. But there was no time for chatting.

Maybe it was because of your connection with their boss or they saw the sincerity in your words, but none of them seemed to believe in your guilt.

But you still had to stay there because you were one of their unsub. Telling the same story over and over.

“You said you wanted him dead.” Prentiss said, showing you a screenshot from a conversation with your colleagues. 

You couldn’t contain your laugh. “That son of a bitch tried to abuse me. He tried to abuse almost every woman that walked in our office. He was waiting for them like a goddamn hunter. And I should ask for his happiness? He’s better where is now.” you looked at her in the eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I killed him.”

This continued like that for hours. Of them leaving the room and leaving you alone. Even if you could still feel Aaron’s look on you through the glass -at least you liked to think he was there. And both of them coming back to ask you more questions about work and the victim. 

It was midnight when you finally were allowed to come home. This time, you didn’t look for Aaron at the station. But you found him in your dreams. Whether you wanted it or not. 

That was how you ended spending the day at your apartment instead of work. You took your day off and learnt in the afternoon that the real responsible had been caught. 

And again, you thought this case being solved meant you were finally free from the Hotchner brothers.

When the sun started to come down, you heard three knocks on your door. The atrocity of what happened the day before didn’t stop you from opening your door to strangers.

Except it wasn’t a stranger.

It was the man hunting your dreams and fantasies. 

“What do you want Aaron?” you asked, moving away to let him come in.

You weren’t the only one to whom the first meeting between you two was engraved in your mind. Aaron perfectly remembered the day Sean brought you to Jack’s birthday.

His brother didn’t tell him he would bring someone. And when he heard the gossips when you arrived, before seeing you two, he regretted inviting Sean. Of course his brother would do something to annoy him.

Then he saw you.

You had lowered to be at Jack’s level and were laughing at a joke he apparently told you. You looked mesmerised, like his son was the most interesting person in the whole garden. And if you asked Aaron, he would say it’s true. But to see that look on someone that didn’t know either him or Jack was flattering. And appealing.

It wasn’t only the way you acted with Jack. It was you, entirely.   

He remembered the glow in your eyes when you first talked. He remembered how you always seemed to look for him. He remembered seeing you get lost in your thoughts, wondering if he was the cause.

He remembered the necklace you were wearing: a gold chain with an emerald. A gift from Sean. He remembered thinking how his hands would look so much better around your neck. 

Aaron felt bad for having such a sudden and massive desire for his brother’s girlfriend. And just like you, you were the only one in his mind when he went to sleep that night. Or during the showers that lasted longer than usual the following days.

Then life carried on. He somehow forgot about you or his attraction for you. And after his fight with Sean, he wasn’t even aware that you two broke up. Not until yesterday, when you revealed during the questioning that you were single.

“Apologize.” he finally replied. You turned around to look at him. Aaron leant against the wall, like a statue that belonged there. You guessed his day was over by the way his tie was a little less thigh around his neck than yesterday or how the first button of his shirt was undone. He looked tired. This case was draining. Not only by the murder itself but by you being part of it. 

You nervously chuckled at this. “Don’t worry Aaron, I’m used to the Hotchner brothers hurting me.” 

You haven’t thought about Sean since your breakup. You even erased the memory of him in your apartment. The way he would always sit at the same place, the mug he always used -one you got rid of- or how his perfume would always stay for a day or two after he left. These were gone from your mind and you were glad that your life didn’t change after he went away.

Aaron being here could have revived this.

But it didn’t.

Seeing him here made you want to create new memories. With him. 

It started with him taking long steps to catch your wrist. “I’m not Sean.” a fact he needed to hear more than you. Thank god he wasn’t his brother. Otherwise he would never have come. “What did he do to you?” 

Anger. Passion. Eager. You could see all that in his eyes. You could feel it in his hand, how he was gripping your wrist but softly touching your skin with his fingertips. You could hear it in his breathless sighs. 

“Does it matter?” you whispered, close to his lips.

You didn’t know which one of you was leading this dance that couldn’t be seen but you soon felt the wall against your back and Aaron’s body against your chest. “Maybe we should focus on what I can do to you now.” 

Next thing you knew, Aaron's lips were on yours. Angrily kissing the memory of his brother on your mouth away. Passionately biting your lips to taste more of you. Eagerly taking your shirt off to discover your body. All his thoughts went silent with you around. All he wanted was to get more and more of you.

His hands felt exactly like you thought they would on your body: hot and firm. He was grabbing your hips, pressing his body harder against yours. Soon your legs were around his waist. You felt the tense in his arms being tighter holding you like this. But not like it was hard. Like he was living every single second of that moment with appetite. 

When his lips slid on your neck and your hands got lost in his hair, you knew you never wanted this moment to end.

Later, you would find it funny how Aaron found the way to your room without even looking. He was too concentrated on kissing every piece of skin he was unveiling to think about that. Yet, he had no problem walking through the corridor and laying you on your bed. He followed his gut and his gut was driven by his need to be inside you.

When Aaron started untying his tie, you stopped him by putting a hand on it, meticulously placing it on his heart.  “Let me do that.”  you said, your lips so close to his ear that you almost kissed it.

You always had a thing for undressing men. Especially men in suits. 

You took your time with his tie, letting it slide all along his neck in a soft way. You slowly did every button of his shirt, kissing his chest centimeter by centimeter. You lost it for a few seconds looking at the strand of hair running through his chest. This would be a new addition to your dreams, you knew that.

His belt fell on the floor, his pants made the best noise sliding through his legs. And there you were, both naked, and you in front of the man with whom you had the most insane fantasy.

Aaron took a moment to look at you. You were close to it, with him on top of you. You got lost in the beauty of his eyes while he was admiring you. “What does it mean?” you asked him, softly bringing a hand to his cheek in a moment of tenderness that you didn’t expect to happen. 

You saw the conflict in his head. Being torn between knowing he shouldn’t be there with you -because of his job, because of his brother, because of who he was as a man. And putting everything aside for once in his life. “I don’t know.” he replied, still leaning closer to you. 

“And I don’t care.” he added, finally letting his body explore yours entirely.  

You got lost in Aaron’s arms that night. Every minute felt better than the past one. Every kiss felt nicer than the post one.

And every moment, you let yourself fall for him harder.

You couldn’t say you had feelings for him already, except for the obvious attraction you both had for each other. 

But looking at Aaron, asleep in your sheets at 4 a.m. after making love to you multiple times, you thought that maybe. Maybe. You could let yourself be in love with a Hotchner brother again. 

“I see you,” you heard him say in his hoarse sleepy voice. You were a little to blame for it after making moan harder than you thought he even would.

You laughed a little which caused a sweet little smile on his lips.“With your eyes closed?”

“I can see you everywhere.” he replied, opening his sweet eyes. “Even when you’re not there. And I know you did too.”

“Are you a magician, Aaron Hotchner?” you asked with a fake surprise. Slowly, his hands guided you on his lap again. A place you never wanted to leave.

He never answered your question. Not now nor ever. He simply kissed your lips in the softest way, his arms tightening around you so you could lie on his chest.

An offer to discover that yourself, if you were willing too. 

[after-witch]

Horrorfest: The Formula for Life [Yandere Mahito x Reader]

Title: The Formula for Life [Yandere Mahito x Reader]

Synopsis: Mahito is your creator, and you ought to listen to his rules. But something inside you wants more.

For Horrorfest request: I got two different requests for Mahito + creating a Frankenstein-monster style of reader, so this is for those!

Word count: 5400ish

notes: yandere, very dubious consent, power dynamic abuse, non-graphic descriptions of sex; violence and death (not against reader); Mahito in general is a warning

You are perfectly imperfect. 

Mahito is not entirely sure where he heard the phrase before –a women’s magazine, maybe, or some 1960s British film with upbeat, witty dialogue and blonde starlet at the helm–but as he stares down at your prone, sleeping body, he decides that it’s a phrase which suits you well.

You are a perfectly imperfect human, naked as the day he made you. Something in him puffs up at the thought, a hot sensation that makes his chest tingle. Yes, he made you, didn’t he? He is your… creator. Or as close to a creator as you will ever get in this world or the next, because whatever came before no longer matters. 

There is no before-you. There is only the you-of-now, resting with your eyes closed and your mouth slack and ah, here, now, finally–

You wake up.

Limbs jerk and your neck twitches and he wonders how much it hurts–the stitches criss-crossing your body like his own, keeping the various parts of you held together. The skin and muscle and sinew, bold black stitches sewn across your hands and arms and legs and chest and every single part of you. There is even, and he finds it a delightful detail, a stitch across one of your ears. It’s cute. 

Like you, he thinks. Cute.

Cute as you sit up on his makeshift operating table, testing out your newfound limbs. Cute as your eyes squint, as your pupils adjust to the dim lighting, as your gaze steadies on the only other living thing in the near vicinity–him.

Cute as you try to say your first words. 

“Ah…” You say, or try to say, and he wonders just how much of speech your soul remembers, and whether or not that connection will extend to the way your body works. No matter. He’ll just teach you, if necessary. 

He grins, and puts his fingers on either side of your lips, squishing them together.

“Hel-lo,” he says, slow, moving your mouth with the words. “Can you say that? Hel-lo?”

You blink at him, awareness and confusion seeping into your expression. The stitches that cross your face, going from the corner of your scalp across the top of your nose and landing around the curve of your neck, scrunch in with the effort.

Your mouth opens, and closes; he can hear the spittle in your mouth working, can see the way your cheeks move, the pink of your tongue testing out its boundaries.

And then–

Then, you lean forward, and he grins, eager to hear you try; but ah, you surprise him. Cute, ugly thing that you are. Your hand extends, wobbling, and your fingers loosely grip his own lips like they’ve never held anything before. 

“Hel-lo,” you mimic, slow, warbled, the word coming out almost foreign. “Hel-lo?”

He grins, and can’t help the croon of pure, unadulterated delight that follows. 

–

He has a lot to teach you. You, dear pet, are a lot of work. Not that he minds. Not that he views it as a chore. No, teaching you is some grand, extended hobby. More fun than reading, more fun than experimenting, even, because isn’t that what you are? A complex experiment.

A beautifully awfully blank creature that belongs to him: that’s what you are, and that’s the first thing he teaches you. That you are his, wholly, and everything you should know and do will come from him.

You accept it so easily that he laughs until he cries, and then laughs some more, when you reach up to touch his tears and ask him what they are, and why they come from his eyes, and why your own eyes don’t leak like that.

“Don’t worry,” he told you, catching his breath, adoring the way your recycled callused fingers felt on his cheeks. “You’ll get some of your own eventually.”

And you did, of course. At the most stupid time, which was frustrating, but something he could work with.

The first time you cried was the first time he brought a human home to experiment on. Some salaryman he’d fetched on his late night walk home, exhausted, barely able to hold up his briefcase.  Mahito had set you on the ground (you never complained about it being hard, and maybe soon he would give you something soft to sit on, sweet thing that you are) and told you to watch, excited to see how you’d react. Would you be confused? Scared? Or simply feel nothing, and watch blankly as the man died?

But ah, how disappointing. You’d cried, of all things. Your hands had flown to your cheeks, feeling the wetness; your skin had gone all splotchy–”My head hurts, I feel warm,” you’d told him–and your lips curled into a nasty frown.

“Why are my eyes leaking?” You asked, and Mahito had to think about it. Because he wasn’t quite sure. He decided to root around in your soul for the answer, and it was so strikingly simple that he imagined slapping himself for it. You felt empathy for the man. You thought he was like you. And if you were being hurt, well, you’d feel downright awful, too. 

Silly thing. So that was the next thing he taught you: that the people he brought down into the sewer were simply experiments. Not living beings, not like you, and certainly not like himself. Nothing for you to worry about at all.

And you simple, sweet thing, what do you do after he tells you this? You listen. You’re so good for him that when he pats you on the head and says, ah, silly goose, this is not a person, it doesn’t matter if it gets hurt, if it dies, if it screams until its mouth bleeds…. You believe him.

And now, you simply watch–or don’t, if he says it’s okay to go about your simple day–as he goes about torturing countless living souls. Stretching, twisting, bending, hurting. None of it makes a difference, because Mahito told you it didn’t. The most you react is sometimes covering your ears–”Why does sound hurt, sometimes?”--and curling up on the nest of blankets he’s seen fit to give you.

You’re a bit like clay, he muses. To be molded and shaped in just the right way. And if something doesn’t work out, well, he can simply squish you in and start over. 

There’s something freeing, something altogether delightful, in the fact that you learn what he teaches you, you know what he gives you. 

He does not teach the concept of freedom–why should he?--or the outside world. 

There shouldn’t be an outside world for a creature like you, only the world he creates for you; this damp, dim world where he is the only thing you need to care about.

-

You do come with some surprises. Some things, it seems, came along with your soul.

“I know what this means!” You blurt out, beaming, looking to him for approval as you grip the well-worn cover of one of his stolen books. You read the title slowly, carefully, but there’s that flicker of recognition in the way your mouth sounds the words, understands the connection between the printed text and its meaning. 

You know something he hasn’t taught you. 

He frowns–and you frown just as easily, setting the book down like it burned your precious fingers. Your eyes get wide and your mouth gets slack and you stammer out an apology, even if you don’t know why.

It is one of your most endearing qualities, this readiness to understand that what he thinks is bad is bad, and the uneasiness in him flickers away, just a bit. You’re still his clay, his creature, his pet. 

He reaches out and runs his fingers into your hair, gripping your scalp hard until you grunt. 

“Well,” he says, when you look up at him with those confused doe eyes. “I suppose you could read my notes back to me, when I do my work.”

If you had a tail, it would be wagging.

And oh, he almost drools on you, from the way your expression shifts from that confused worry to unadulterated delight despite the pain that must be radiating through your scalp–

It feels good, sometimes, to make you look this way. It’s a strange notion, one he doesn’t want to think too hard about. It’s only natural that you should feel pleasure when he is pleased with you, but why should he feel the same? 

It’s a conundrum. Something to write about in his notes–the private ones you’ll never see, of course. The notes about you, and himself, plans and plots, theories and guesses. 

It wouldn’t do, really it wouldn’t, if you saw his scribbles about making sure you didn’t learn something that annoyed him. A something that would make you want to leave, or know other people, or comprehend that you were your own individual being.

Ignorance is bliss, or so he’s read, and he intends to keep you that way. 

–

Oh, oh, oh–your breath comes out in wispy pitter-patters that almost match the rapid beating of your heart. 

This… This is not allowed. It is not allowed because Mahito, your master, your creator, said so. And what your master tells you, you obey, because that is how the world works. He’s told you so many times, and it makes perfect sense.

He knows what’s best, because he’s smarter, and stronger, and you’re just a simple person. You’re supposed to make him happy, and would it make him happy, to break this rule? No, is what he would say.

And yet–you wonder. He likes it when you learn, when he teaches and you actually get it and can repeat it for him on demand. 

Like when you learned to walk without falling down, or when he taught you to stay still while he squeezed and touched and tickled your various body parts to see if they still worked. That was difficult, and it took many tries, but when you finally did it right, he praised you. Even if it made your stomach flutter in strange ways, and you were sometimes sore afterwards.

Would doing this make him praise you? Or would it make him angry?

Your fingers ghost over the covers, some of them all cracked and worn, others looking fresh and shiny. Books. His books. They’re all over the world, in stacks and stacks. On his hammock, on the floor, on the stacked table he said was a “book shelf.”

He said you weren’t allowed to touch any of his books or papers. Only what he gave you, when he gave you, and sometimes he even pointed to a line and said don’t you read past that, little pet, and you didn’t.

But he wants you to learn, doesn’t he? And you can learn from these books. Maybe you’ll learn something that makes you better, helps you avoid those stumbles that sometimes make him frown. Like when you first remembered how to read, or the time you tried to talk to one of his experiments.

Oh, you didn’t mean anything by it! You were just–bored. And while Mahito hadn’t been as sore once you told him why you tried to talk to it, he’d still punished you (rightfully so, you had been bad) and told you never to do it again. Unless he said so. 

So–so yes. He said not to read these books. But. If reading these books helps you be better, and being better means you’ll make your master mad less often, then reading these books is the right thing to do.

You just won’t tell him, and he won’t have any reason to be mad about it.

It’s so simple, you can’t believe you hadn’t thought of it before. Well–you can believe that. You aren’t very smart, or so your master says, and he knows everything. 

This will help then, won’t it? He knows what’s in these books, but now you will, too. 

With a lurching feeling in your stomach, you pick up the first book, a hard one with a shiny glossy cover that says HUMAN BIOLOGY, and flip to the first page.

–

You read about lots of things, and every one of them makes you wonder. 

The biology books make you wonder why your body looks like this, but all of the pictures of people (inside and out) look like that. You had never wondered before; you looked like your creator, and that seemed normal enough. But… none of these other people were all mismatched and jumbled. None of these other people had scars everywhere, patched together by black stitches that sometimes itched. 

The romance books are nice, even if they make you feel a bit funny. Your master touches you like the people in these books touch each other, but it’s not quite the same. He never says the same words, “I love you,” or asking, “Do you want me?” before he touches. You’re not sure exactly what love is just yet, but you’re sure one of these books will explain it properly.

One thing you learn is that the world is not actually the world. The world, you thought–you were taught–was just… here. With Mahito. In these walls, within the damp stone. But there is a whole entire world out there with things you’ve never seen before. 

Things you’ve never seen or done. Things that make you wonder why you live one way, and the people in the books another. People seem to live in houses, but this place does not match the descriptions in the book at all. People get married–you’re not sure what it means, really, except they are together, so maybe you and Mahito are married, after all? He does kiss you, and more besides. 

People have children, and these seem to be tiny people that grow up. But you don’t have any children that walk down a staircase–you have seen these in photos, and patch them into your images of houses–in the morning and complain about being tired. You don’t have a yard with a garden to tend to; you wouldn’t mind it, actually, from the pictures of flowers you’ve seen. They could be pretty.

You wonder how they smell. The books tell you most of them smell quite nice. 

It is this sort of wondering that gives you the strongest itch to tell your master that you’ve been reading, so that you can ask him to take you outside. Sometimes you even mouth the word to yourself, when you’re alone. “Outside.” It feels wonderful on your tongue, all tingly. But then your stomach hurts and you think he would be mad about the reading, so you don’t ask at all.

Not everything you read makes your stomach curl. You read about lots of things, things that make you smile, make you laugh. Things that make you forget the reason you started reading was to make Mahito proud of you, to learn how to be better. Things that have nothing to do with being better at all.

Even you realize that learning about the world outside isn’t going to help you in here. But the world outside sounds so… so… big. Big and full of things to see and do and experience. Full of people, trees, buildings and even animals. 

Oh, you really do love the idea of animals. One of your favorite books is a well-worn guide book to birds. Birds. What a wonderful thing they must be, all pretty colors, flying around in the sky; in the outside. 

What would it be like to fly? To have feathers with so many different colors? To make what the book calls “chirps” and “calls”? You’ve tried to imagine what they must sound like, but it’s hard, with no frame of reference.

And you can’t exactly ask your master to mimic them, either.

Sometimes, in your dreams, you turn into a bird. Feathers sprouting from your stitches and taking you up in the air. Birds, the books say, use their chest and supracoracoideus muscles to fly, flapping their wings in just the right way. You don’t think you have supracoracoideus muscles, except in your dreams, and you’re too afraid to ask. 

You’re glad Mahito hasn’t asked you about your dreams in a while. 

–

You are being so good today. So good, in fact, that Mahito has told you to sit quietly on your nest while he works on his latest experiment. You didn’t even have to read him his notes–you didn’t mind, and told him so, but he’d simply patted your head and said it wasn’t necessary today. 

So instead, you watched quietly, legs pulled up to your chest. It was harder to watch, ever since you started reading, because sometimes–

Sometimes you wondered if it was true, that the experiments were not people after all. They certainly look like the people in your master’s books. They talk like the people, sometimes, when they’re not screaming. 

But if your master says they aren’t people, well, he must be right. It does get a little frustrating when they beg you for help, because most of them can’t even see your master at all. That makes you feel a little sorry for them, sometimes, if they haven’t been screaming too loudly. If they could see your master, they might know he’s not doing anything wrong when he hurts them. 

He’s just learning.

Today, the experiment seems to be going well. Your master is smiling, humming, writing down his notes. You hope you’ll get to read these ones, eventually, but he doesn’t always let you. 

(He’s even got a private book, you’ve seen him scribbling in it sometimes. It is, however, the one thing you dare never to read. Not even to learn.)

And then the experiment does the silliest thing! When your master touches him, elongating his arms into a strange shape, he tries to run. Silly experiments, they never get far; but this one tries. He screams–ouch–and begins to run, flapping his arms like they’re on fire. No, flapping them like he’s a–

“Oh,” you say, leaning forward, a delighted smile on your face. “Like a bird!”

The man does not last long. Whatever your master did takes full effect, and he’s misshappen, no legs, a wiggling blob. Not like a bird at all, anymore, but it was nice while it lasted.

Nothing happens, for a moment. And in that moment you realize that something is wrong. It’s suddenly quiet, suddenly heavy.

Mahito, your master, your creator, slowly turns his head towards you with an expression you’ve never seen before. His pupils are too small, his mouth open in something like surprise. “A bird?”

“Yes,” you say, slowly, not knowing yet, not catching on. “It’s–his arms, you see? The way they moved.” You sit up on your knees and mimic the way you’ve seen birds flying in still photographs, the way you sometimes try to fly in your dreams. “When birds fly, they use…” But you stop, because Mahito is frowning. And when Mahito is frowning, you are doing something wrong.

But what, and when, and…

“How would you know what a bird is, pet?”

Oh, no.

The realization makes your guts clench so hard that you almost think you wet yourself, and you throw your hands over your stomach at the strange new sensation. An awful stomach-churning feeling. 

You don’t quite know what it is, but a memory from a book you read comes wafting back; a book about a woman who lives alone and a man tries to break into her house and kill her. She’s scared. Is that what this is? Are you scared? 

There’s no time to really wonder about this, because Mahito stalks over and grabs you by the hair, yanking you up until you’re on your feet, reflexive tears in your eyes. 

You don’t struggle, because he has explained to you that when you’re bad, he’s meant to treat you like this. And sometimes when you’re good, too. You’ve never figured out if there is a difference. 

“You’ve been reading my books.” Not a question, and you don’t answer. “What else have you been reading about?”

“Nothing,” you say, your voice hoarse. You scrunch your eyebrows together: that wasn’t what you should have said. You have read about lots of things. He asked, and you should have told him. That’s the rule he gave you. Simple and easy.

“I’ve read about lots of things,” you correct, confusion spilling from your mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say nothing. I don’t know why I did.”

His eyes widen, and you don’t know what he’s thinking, but there’s that small-pupiled look of surprise again. “You lied,” he says.

Something in you wants to struggle against the tight grip on your hair. It hurts. You don’t like it, when it hurts, that something says. Even though your master says it’s okay for things to hurt. Which is right, your master, or that something-inside-you that has only gotten louder in the last few weeks. 

“I didn’t,” you say, some instinct pulled from deep inside you to deny, deny, deny. Then you pause. “What is a lie?” 

His expression never loses its own sense of almost horrified wonder, even as his other hand comes to caress your face, catching against your stitches. 

“When something isn’t true. And it’s not true, is it, that you haven’t read about anything else?”

“Yes–no.” Your little head is confused, and the sting in your scalp doesn’t help. “I did read other things. Lots of things.” You swallow hard. “I just wanted to know… to know…” 

But how do you explain it, this desire to know? The desire to know that went beyond pleasing him, making yourself better for him?

“Know what?” He murmurs, almost not a question, releasing your hair. You take the opportunity to put your hands in your lap, holding them tightly together, as all of the knowing you’ve been doing in the past few weeks catches up with you.

The questions come like bubbles in the water, one after another, having been crammed inside your head for far too long without a proper outlet.

“Why don’t I ever talk to other people? Why do I look like this, when they don’t? Why don’t we go outside? I want to see, I want to know–” Your fingers hurt from how hard you wring your hands together. “About the sky and the animals and the birds and what music is and how a train sounds and how many wheels do they have, and there’s more, there’s more, I just can’t say it all–”

You can see his expression shifting, but you’re so steeped in your own release of the knowing that you don’t heed it as a warning. Instead, you ask something that has been bothering you a bit. A lot, if you were honest, and you were supposed to be honest, weren’t you?

“What are we?”

His gaze narrows as he looks down at you, and you don’t want him to look at you like that. Not with the question you want to ask. 

“What are we?” He repeats, a hint of something in it that makes you feel ashamed. A joke–no, that’s not the proper word. Mockery, you think. Mimicry. Birds can do that, but, you’re not wanting to stay on the topic of birds just now.

“Are we…” Your brain fumbles for the word, flipping through the figurative pages you’ve read and read and read. “Married?” Yes, that was it. Many of the people in the story books you read had marriages. And other things, too, that you don’t have, and he hasn’t talked about giving you. 

“Do you love me?” You say, voice rising in pitch. “What is love, exactly? And why don’t we live in a house, in a neighborhood, with a street and a fence? Why don’t we have children? Why don’t I have a job or a dog or parents or ride an airplane–” 

He shoves a palm over your mouth and you do finally heed the warning: Stop. Talking.

Your breath comes out your nose against the top of his palm, and your stomach hurts, and all of this feels so awful that it’s a relief when he speaks, even if he’s not happy with you.

Mahito’s eyebrows furrow and he frowns and his mouth twitches before he smiles, but it’s not a smile that makes you feel better. It almost looks–like a lie, you think, the connections falling into place. He’s smiling, but he’s not happy, and that makes it a lie.

“Why do humans always want more,” he asks lowly, and you almost try to answer before he presses harder against your mouth, making your teeth ache. 

“Even broken ones, remade ones,” he continues, “always seek out more.”

If his hand wasn’t on your mouth, you would ask what he meant. You try to think about an answer, and maybe when he pulls his hand away, he’ll be happy that you came up with one. But it’s hard to get your mind around the question.

It’s too slippery, too vague. Are you the broken one? If so, he should fix you. And what was wrong with seeking out more? Isn’t that why he taught you things? Maybe you learned the wrong things from the books; but he should have read them to you, and corrected you, if he was worried about that.

It’s all too much, too confusing, and before you can stop them, tears are leaking from your eyes. Hot ones that make your eyes scrunch and you cry openly against his hand, wanting the confusion to stop, wanting the ache in your chest to go away.

Instinctively, your hands reach for his arm, holding him like you sometimes hold your blankets.

His eyebrows raise again, and there’s a flash of surprise before he smiles. This time, it doesn’t look like a lie.

“You poor thing,” he says, crouching down and bringing you to your knees with him. His hand leaves your palm and your little sobs come out openly, almost barking into the air. “You’re so confused, aren’t you?”

You nod, and it’s true, and you resolve to never lie again. Lying hurts. 

“I-I don’t know what I did wrong or why I did it wrong and you’re mad,” you tell him, open, honest, like you should be. The words come out fast and stumbled.  “I thought I could read books to be better but now I know about birds and I don’t know what they sound like or why I don’t have things and why I’m so… so…”

The word doesn’t come and that only makes you cry harder. 

He coos, and pulls you against his chest. It’s familiar, this soothing, and it makes you feel warm even as those confusing thoughts stay stuck to your brain.

“Want to know a secret about the two of us, pet?” He asks, speaking against your hair. “A secret about you?” Every syllable is soaked in the promise of knowledge.

“No,” you breathe out, and it’s that buried-deep-down instinct again, pushing the word through your lips for you. You’re glad, though, because you realize this wasn’t a lie at all. You don’t want to know a secret. If the books you’ve read are to be believed (and are they?) then secrets always lead to trouble.

You don’t want any more trouble. Not now. 

He presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Really? I thought you wanted to know everything.” A touch of amusement in his face, and you cling to it like a lifeline. You remember this side of your master; the side that smiles and pats your head. It’s much better than the side that smiles when he’s not happy at all. 

Your arms latch around him, snuggling as close as you can get, your face pressed against his chest. “Can we go to bed?” Your words are muffled against him, but you’re sure he understands. “I’m so confused.” And tired, and worried, and scared. All these awful feelings swirling around in your guts, making you want to be sick. 

Mahito pulls away from you, and there’s a brief snatch of fear before he begins to wipe at your tears with his fingers. He wipes too harshly, and his nails catch on the lid of your eye, making it sting. You don’t pull away. You remind yourself, if he thinks this is how he ought to stop your crying, it’s the best option.

Is it really? says that deep-deep-deep-down voice, and you tell it to be quiet, you’re tired, you aren’t thinking right, and it should stay buried with whatever secret your master knows. 

“Poor pet,” he whispers, cooing. “It’s all too much, isn’t it?” You nod, chin wobbling. His hands go from your cheeks to your head again, petting you on both sides, snarling in your hair. “I could make it go away, if you want.” Sticky words that you want to reach for.

His hands smooth all around your head now, and it’s almost like he’s trying to feel something inside. Like your brain, like your thoughts, like everything that makes you tick. 

Your eyes get wide and all you know is that when your master says something, it’s true. 

Is it really? repeats that voice.

“You could?” is what you say, because it’s simpler that way. Simpler to remember the way things were before the world had birds, when what he said was exactly so. 

“If you’ll be agreeable to it,” he tells you. 

His hands trail from your head down your shoulders, your neck, your chest, down and down and down, tracing each stitch on your body. And something in you–that deep-deep-deep-down part of you–says this is wrong. He shouldn’t touch you, you should be screaming, clawing at him, getting out of here. 

But you push that something down, with the birds and the children and the stories of courtship, with the way your hands trembled as they flipped each page, with the way you felt proud of yourself for finishing each book. 

Those things were nice, until they were not so nice; until they upset the very creator of your being, and made you too confused and hurt to think about them. What good was knowing about the more when the more made him upset? 

It feels better, not to think too much. Not to know so much. And if he can fix you–if he’s willing to fix you ,then it’s what you want, too. You think. Maybe. Yes? 

“Of course I will,” you stay, trying on a smile.

You can’t tell, even as his hands go from touches to gropes, if it’s a lie or not. 

–

You’re finally sleeping now, and he doesn’t mind sighing, sprawling out on the floor and watching with his chin propped into his elbow.

What an awful human trait, this desire for more-out-there-in-the-world. What good is creating your own little creature if it always wants to find out its place in some grander scheme of things? The only world you should know is here, and him, and yet you had to get your grubby little hands on his books and read about ridiculous notions.

You probably didn’t even understand some of them, maybe most of them. That is fascinating, in its own right. He wonders what you would do, if you saw a pretty little robin hopping on the ground, about to get pounced on by some neighborhood cat.

Would your expression of delight turn to horror as the bird was mangled in the cat's jaws? Or would you not process it as horror at all, but simply an experience to learn about? Could he touch you to overlook it, as he has his experiments?

It’s tempting, sometimes, to see what you would do with more outside stimuli. But that temptation doesn’t go too far, because the whole point of your being was to shape you for himself. And that does not include this damned human desire to explore the inside and outside, forever expanding your knowledge of whos and whats and whens. 

Well. At least you didn’t put up a fight at the notion of being fixed. At least you seemed properly subdued, once he made it clear he wasn’t pleased. He’d brought you up well enough, after all. 

He’s not sure he can really pull it out of you. There are many ways to reshape the soul, and the soul he pulled into that cobbled-together body has certainly been–well, changed, by the experience. 

Could he change it further? Wipe out your memory of those books? Maybe he could reach further down, deep down into your soul, and yank out the offending desires like weeds from a garden.

Maybe so.

For his own pleasure, he’s willing to try again and again, until you are just right. 

He owes it to himself, after all, to never give up on his most thrilling experiment. 

[azrielbrainrot]

I'll Be Here

Pairing: Azriel x Healer!Reader

Description: You feel a little out of place at a celebration in the House of Wind and a certain Shadowsinger comes to the rescue.

Word Count: 3605

Warnings: None

Notes: I had this stuck in my head and decided to just write it down. I'm not really a writer so bear with me please. Hope you enjoy!

Healer!Reader Masterlist

It's hard to keep an eye on how much wine you drink when the glasses get refilled magically. You've heard that this house has a consciousness of its own. Maybe it can sense your growing anxiety and keeps filling your glass in hopes of helping ease your mind a little. The more you drink the more worried you get, the thought that getting too drunk will only put you at a higher risk of embarrassing yourself having infiltrated your brain and pushed all the rational thoughts out. Big gatherings aren't exactly your cup of tea and the fact that this one was personally hosted by your High Lord didn't exactly help ease your nerves.

You've visited the House of Wind before but always as a part of your duties. Though it was because of your duties you were invited to this dinner so maybe you could add this attendance as part of your job. The High Lord and High Lady decided to invite notable people in Velaris for a night of celebrating the thriving city. After losing its High Lord for decades and the war that followed his release, Velaris went through some tough times but with the help of its people - most of them gathered in this space tonight - the city was once again prospering.

As a healer you usually see the High Lord and his Inner Circle in a state of emergency, when your abilities are needed and there's usually no time for formalities or worries. Every time you encounter them outside of those situations you never know what to make of yourself. You wouldn't say you're completely inept at social situations but you're definitely a lot better at handling them when they involve your patients and you have a job to do, something more important to focus on than choosing the right thing to say.

Your relationship with the Inner Circle is professional albeit friendly. It's hard not to feel your heart warming at the cupcakes the General insisted on buying you for helping heal his wings even after explaining that you actually only helped on his recovery process. Every time he drops by the clinic to pick up any herbs or ointments he insists on buying you one - though you suspect it's also an excuse to get one for himself - and when you see him out and about he demonstrates how healthy his wings are, having done it just before dinner when he was in charge of flying you up to the house. The painting the High Lady personally painted for you, as an acknowledgement of your efforts during the war, hangs right behind your desk in your office at the clinic and is one of your most important possessions.

This would be the kind of relationship anyone would kill to have with their employees - friendly acquaintances. But, since you were there for some of their most intimate moments and helped them through them, you never know how to act when you're not doing your job. You can't exactly call them your friends, even putting the fact that is your High Lord and High Lady aside, outside of work you only exchange some pleasantries whenever you bump into them. However there's too much knowledge for you to act completely professional after decades of nursing them and their family back to health. It feels awkward to shake their hands when they have hugged you with tears in their eyes, thanking you for saving their family.

There's also the tiny detail of the crush you've harbored on the resident shadowsinger ever since you first laid eyes on him. On top of trying to walk the line between friends and strangers with everyone else, you also have to be careful with not letting the observant Spymaster find out about the beat your heart skips when you see him. Making things awkward because of a silly crush is the last thing you need.

It's that reminder and the monumental effort you have to make not to let your eyes search for him that has you finally sneaking out of the room, deciding to find a quiet place to sober up. The House had fed you too much wine, and you still had to be flown back down at the end of the night. You'd really hate to throw up on Cassian's fancy suit. He probably wouldn't buy you cupcakes ever again.

You remember some of your surroundings after decades of being called in for emergencies, quickly finding one of the huge balconies overlooking the city. The fresh air grounds you almost immediately. You can still hear the muffled sounds of the ongoing party but the quietness of the mountain lets you get lost in thought. As much as you enjoy the liveliness of the nightlife in Velaris, you infinitely prefer the quietness and freedom only the woods or mountains at night can provide. When it's only you, the moon and the stars, and the world stops.

You don't know how long you sit there for, leaning on the railing and looking into the distance, wondering why your healing abilities work on some forms of poison but not on sobering you up. Your head only comes back to earth when you hear a familiar voice calling out your name behind you. You turn around fast enough to make you a bit dizzy, leaning back against the railing with wide eyes.

“Didn't mean to scare you,” the shadowsinger explained, “I just noticed you were gone from the room.” You spot the way he's bringing his wings closer to his body, making himself smaller, if that were even possible. Azriel made you feel a lot of things but you hadn't felt scared of him in decades, ever since the first time you met him. If you hadn't been already tipsy and distracted thinking about him you wouldn't have reacted so dramatically.

Realizing the spymaster of this court had just found you wandering around his house unattended, you rush to apologize and give him an explanation.

“I'm sorry. I needed some fresh air and remembered there was a balcony around here. I shouldn't have left the party without permission.” You make to move back, showing you were ready to go back to the party but he raises a hand and takes a step closer to you, stopping you before you can.

“You're not a stranger to this house. No need for permission,” he took another tentative step towards you before continuing, “Do you feel better now?” You relax back against the railing, your heart beating fast for a whole different reason now. It's not often you get to see Azriel out of his leathers and you barely had a chance to see him up close tonight, he looks mesmerizing.

“What?” Maybe you didn't sober up as much as you thought. Maybe being this close to Azriel was just an intoxicating experience in itself. Either way your brain was having a hard time catching up to his words and your chest was starting to feel warm.

“You said you needed some fresh air.” There's a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. Probably realizing that you weren't actually going to be sick. His shadows peak behind his shoulders, following their master as they usually do.

“Yes. It was just getting a bit stuffy in there.” Aside from the butterflies creating a hurricane in your stomach, talking to Azriel feels right. His calm demeanor lets your thoughts quiet. “I might have drank too much because of the nerves.”

The Shadowsinger moves until he's leaning against the railing next to you. His eyes wander the illuminated city slowly before meeting yours. Stretched wings hang in what you assume is a less straining position after having to be pulled tighter into his body in the crowded room. Shadows start rolling off his shoulders, now lazing around him instead of covering him. The soft wind moves his hair ever so slightly, letting a few strands curl around his forehead and giving him an almost boyish look. It's not often you see the spymaster appear relaxed. You decide it might be your favorite look on him.

“Nerves?” Your eyes search his face once again after hearing the confusion in his voice. Azriel has a permanent seat at the High Lord's table not only as the Night Court's Spymaster but also as someone Rhysand considers family. This night isn't so different from every other dinner he shares with his family, just more crowded.

“I've never been to this house outside of my duties. It's a bit nerve-wracking to be personally invited by the High Lord.” As you finish speaking one of his shadows curls around his ear. You've learned they do this when they're speaking to him. The thought of it being about you has your heart speeding up. Only the Mother knows just how much those shadows can see and hear, if they can hear your thoughts. You check your mental shields just in case. They can be as terrifying as they are beautiful.

“Rhys and Feyre couldn't have thrown a party celebrating the strength and courage the people of Velaris have shown without one of our best healers. You've helped more people than we could ever thank you for.” The warmth you felt in your chest before was now spreading up your neck at an alarming rate. You had just been doing your job but being recognized for it felt incredibly rewarding. The fact that this praise came from the shadowsinger was making you especially giddy. “Rhys invited you because you're very important to this court, to us.”

“I am?” The question comes out before your brain has a chance to catch up. You try not to cringe at the surprise in your tone. It's not that you're not aware of your capabilities, the High Lord and High Lady either call for you or for Madja, one of the most powerful and wise healers you have ever seen. But old insecurities will always show their claws, indifferent to your achievements. To think that you could be important to all these extremely powerful people seemed like the punchline to a joke.

“Of course.” His body turns to you ever so slightly. Fingers uncurl as if he wanted to reach out, comfort you. “None of us would be here in good health if it wasn't for you, maybe not at all. You've helped us more times than I can count.”

“I was just doing my job. And I can't take credit for Madja, I'm usually just assisting her.”

“Even so, you've helped us through a lot.” He sounded very sincere, there was no denying he meant every word, but you still have a hard time believing it.

“I just don't think I really fit in here,” you whispered so low that if it wasn't for his fae hearing he wouldn't have been able to make out the words. The admission felt heavy in the air, it felt good to let it out. You hadn't been this honest with anyone, perhaps even yourself, in decades, you must have drank way more wine than you initially thought.

You weren't born in Velaris, but you've lived here for a century. The problem is you've spent the better part of that century waiting on feeling like you finally belonged. You never felt at home in your own court or in your family so it might have been wishful thinking that it would happen here.

“I think like that sometimes too.” As baffled as you were to hear that coming from him, he looked even more surprised than you. It seems he hadn't meant to say that out loud, but the words couldn't be taken back now.

“That's insane,” you try to level your voice after the outburst, "You're part of this family. Why wouldn't you fit in?” You couldn't let him think like that, there was no doubt in your mind everyone here loved and cherished him like family.

Rhysand's inner circle was known for how close they were, they were seen as the High Lord's family regardless of if they were blood related or not. Azriel has always been calmer and you know he likes to keep to himself but you never thought he looked out of place for a second. It's hard to imagine Rhysand and Cassian without his brother.

His eyes were trained on the city under you. His shadows had come back to him, almost covering him completely. Azriel was quiet for a while, long enough you thought he wouldn't even give you an answer. But then you feel a shield form around you, lest someone wanders in and hears his next words.

“Sometimes things and people change while you stay stuck in the same place,” his eyes meet yours as he talks and you search his expression for the rest of the story you know he won't tell. If there's one thing you hate about the shadowsinger is his ability to mask his emotions. His face was the perfect stoic mask as always.

It's not hard to understand what he meant. In less than a decade the inner circle almost doubled and some of the dynamics had likely changed with it. His brothers have found their mates, something every fae dreams of, and he was the odd one out. Even the Morrigan and Amren had found lovers in recent years.

You had heard some rumors he had taken a liking to the middle Archeron sister after pining for the lovely Morrigan for centuries, but she had also found her mate. Not even his methods of interrogation could make you admit you were avoiding the entire inner circle during that time. The hope you had felt upon realizing he wasn't looking at Morrigan like she hung all the stars in the sky was short lived and it only made you feel pathetic. You didn't understand why it had affected you so much. This was just a silly crush after all, you had never considered actually pursuing a relationship with the shadowsinger.

“I still don't understand how Amren got a lover before you.” You had meant to clear the heavy air between you but why your brain decided to use the millennia old creature to do so was beyond you. “I mean she's just…” you continue, startled by your own words, praying to the Mother that the shield he put up stopped Amren from hearing you, “Well, she's fae now but wasn't before and is still mildly terrifying, even after the transition, and you're so-” Wide eyes meet hazel and nothing could ever prepare you for the look on his face. The amusement shone bright in his eyes and in the teasing grin he wore. Just when you thought the shadowsinger couldn't get any more beautiful.

“I'm so?” He tilts his head a little as he asks the question. His shadows start almost dancing around him, like they can't wait to hear your thoughts on their singer. You clear your throat before continuing, trying to salvage some of your dignity.

“You're the Spymaster, the only known Shadowsinger. That's incredible, anyone would be lucky to have you.” Something flashes in his eyes and your mouth starts back up at the thought that it could be disappointment at the impersonal description. Azriel is much more than his role in this court and you can't let him think that's all you see in him.

“You're also one of the kindest people I've ever met. I've seen you worry over every single person in that room, putting their needs over your own even when you're also injured. You always keep your composure for them and give them your support. I've seen you around Velaris too, you're always respectful to everyone, even when they're a bit scared of you.” Eyes drag themselves back to the shiny stars in the night so you can keep going without wanting to jump off the balcony and making an even bigger fool of yourself. “Even as far as looks go... I would bet my house that if we walked down any of these streets we wouldn't find anyone that doesn't think you're stupidly handsome.”

“Stupidly handsome?” The amusement was dripping down his voice at this point. The smile was unmistakable in his tone and you couldn't hold yourself back from watching him any longer. You feel yourself relax at the grin plastered on his face. It isn't often that the shadowsinger shows any emotion at all, and you can't help the pride in knowing you put that gorgeous smile on his face, especially after the somber turn the conversation had taken earlier. You continue despite the warmth you feel in your ears, you'd compliment him for hours if it meant he wouldn't feel sad ever again.

“I've actually heard someone use those exact words to describe you.” You've thought it to be the most accurate description of the immense beauty the shadowsinger radiates ever since you heard the barista use it. Apparently she hadn't been born in Velaris and had taken up the job only a few days prior to serving the illyrian. She had barely held the compliment down long enough for Azriel to exit the building, shooting up into the sky. A few fae present couldn't contain the laugh at the fervent appreciation of the shadowsinger, but the air of agreement shared by everyone was unmistakable.

“I'll have to let my mom know,” there was laughter in his tone, “I'm sure she will be very proud that her son is receiving such compliments.” You hadn't known his mother was still alive which makes you think it's meant to be kept secret. You almost curse at the way your heart flutters. Stupid crushes.

“I'm sure she is very proud of you regardless.” He doesn't give away any hint of what might be going through his brain and it leaves you in a slight panicked fear of overstepping or having said the wrong thing. You could swear you saw a glint of disbelief but it was gone too fast for you to be sure. The idea that the Spymaster couldn't see his own mother being proud of him was ludicrous to you.

The nod he gives you doesn't give any of his thoughts away, but his shadows keep moving slowly around the balcony, never rushing to cover him.

“Why are you single then?” You know he's changing the subject but you don't have time to consider that when you realize it's your turn to answer the questions.

“Me?” You barely register the slight nod he gives to show you he's expecting an answer. If you had shadows of your own they would have wrapped around you like a blanket until only the top of your hair was peaking out. “How do you know I am? Are you using your spies on me, Spymaster?”

“I have to be well informed of what happens in this city,” he searches your face just like you did to him, “And as the spymaster I'm more than familiar with deflection. You don't have to answer my question. Tell me if I'm overstepping”

“No. It's-” you cringe, trying to find the right words. “I just never found anyone special I guess.” Even talking about this with him has your heart swelling in your chest and you pray to the mother he can't pick up on any changes in your heartbeat. You've been avoiding this conversation with family and friends, but despite all this you know Azriel will understand and won't make fun of your feelings. It feels safe talking to him. “I get really busy sometimes so it's hard to keep up a proper relationship, even with friendships. Sometimes people need more time than what I can give them.” You try not to think of all the times you didn't measure up to other people's expectations, when they didn't see you as enough for the trouble.

“They're idiots for letting you go.” You don't know if he's being polite in not mentioning how your heart keeps speeding up or if he thinks you're drunker than you are, but you thank every deity you can think of that he doesn't say anything.

“Some things just aren't meant to be.” You hope he doesn't insist on this conversation. There isn't much else to say and you'd rather not keep talking about how many times you'd gotten dumped. You consider pointing out he never gave you a reason for being single and that he was the one actually deflecting, but you don't want to push what clearly isn't an easy topic for him to discuss either. You suspect Azriel barely opens up with anyone, so you'll just treasure the brief look into his heart he allowed you before.

The rest of your night is spent with the shadowsinger, sitting in that balcony, watching the stars and talking about anything. The next day you'll sit in bed mortified, thinking about how you were doing most of the talking while he listened, but he had seemed content enough so you couldn't have been too annoying. When the party ended you had said your goodbyes to your hosts, without the previous nerves after your conversation with the shadowsinger. Feyre had even asked you if you were alright because she also noticed you leaving in the middle of the party, though something about the glint in her eyes told you she had gotten the wrong idea. Then Azriel had flown you down the steps and winnowed you to your front door - even though you could do it yourself. Maybe you'd have to rethink calling the inner circle your friends.

[devildomwriter]

Under the Mistletoe | Raphael x Reader

1.2k+ words | GN! Reader | Romance, Comedy | CW: none, just a very oblivious angel

Summary: Raphael doesn’t seem to understand the tradition of mistletoe and Solomon and the hallmark channel are making it more confusing.

At this point, it was a battle of will. By that you meant ‘Will this oblivious angel even understand?’

Even Luke had noticed by now that there was an odd amount of mistletoe placed around Purgatory Hall and he kept giving weird looks to Solomon who kept insisting it was not him.

Simeon chuckled as he knew the truth. You were desperately hoping to kiss Raphael even just a small peck, but he was blind to any kind of affectionate moves and flirtations. You’d once called him cute directly to his face and he thought you were describing the Devildom and called you odd.

It was a potentially fruitless effort to get him to understand why you were putting up so much mistletoe. He saw you doing it again today as he sat there eating what was supposed to be a sandwich that Solomon had concocted for him.

He watched you nonchalantly, his spear at his side as he’d just come back from some kind of work. This time you stuck a bushel of holly on the corner of the living room wall right before the hallway leading to his room. The next dozen would be placed around his door and if he’d let you in, his room.

“That’s a lot,” he commented after finishing the sandwich and you sighed to yourself. As you took a step down the ladder your ankle twisted slightly and you fell back. Before you could even gasp, Raphael had his arms around you, catching your fall.

You stayed there for a moment shocked at how quickly that’d all happened when you grinned up at Raphael.

“Raphael! Look, we’re under the mistletoe!”

He blinked. “Of course we are…you put it everywhere.” He said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. You sighed exasperatedly and sat up.

You heard Solomon laughing in the kitchen and glared in the general direction.

“Better luck next time,” Simeon said sweetly though he was glad it hadn’t worked.

Most people were very confused about your affection and general attraction to a stern angel like Raphael with unyielding convictions contrasting many of yours. But you couldn’t help it. He had the cutest smile he rarely showed, a voice that lived up to the description ‘angelic’, he was very protective of you and his loved ones, wanted what was best for everyone, and was very clearly lonely and lacking in enough socialization. One reason he did not seem to understand the human tradition of kissing under the mistletoe.

You began losing hope, wondering if he knew what it meant but avoided partaking in a commercialized aspect of a holiday that meant so much to him.

You nonetheless continued and knocked on the door of Purgatory Hall the next evening again.

Raphael looked out through the peephole and let you in, his slightly reddened face betrayed his efforts to hide anything was wrong.

You placed the mistletoe on the table again and Raphael walked past you to the couch where Hallmark movies were playing. This should have been the second sign something was different from yesterday.

“Hey, Raphael?” You called and he flinched and looked up immediately.

“Yes?”

“Can I put some of these in your room?”

He blushed furiously and looked away, “my room?”

You nodded and it dawned on you he was avoiding your eyes more than usual. You frowned and took off your coat placing it on the back of your chair.

“Raphael…what’s wrong?” You asked sweetly and he turned away to hide his expressions.

“Have you…never mind…” he immediately gave up and you shook your head.

“You can tell me anything, Raphael.” You assured and he was quiet for a long time but when you didn’t budge from your spot he relaxed and nodded.

“Are you…trying to set up Solomon and I?”

You froze. This dumass was more oblivious than you thought.

You heard loud cackling from Solomon’s room and Raphael turned red and clutched his spear ready to throw it at the door.

“What?” You said completely dumbfounded as you stared at him in shock.

He collected himself for a more serious conversation and began to explain himself. “I recently learned of the human tradition to kiss under the mistletoe.”

You nodded wondering how him finally learned the truth had gone so wrong.

“You set it up everywhere in our home and then immediately leave after Solomon begins laughing…This must be a signal for you to leave after prepping the area.” He said determinedly and you planted your face in your hands.

Solomon kept laughing so Raphael grabbed your arm. “Don’t go. Please take the mistletoe down. I’m not sure what Solomon has said to you but I do not have an interest in him, only his cooking.”

This situation was so absurd you finally broke down laughing, clutching your stomach as you fell onto your side, head in his hap.

Raphael let go of you and blushed. He had no idea what to do. He was feeling humiliated as he may have jumped to conclusions. Perhaps you just really liked mistletoe. Now you were in tears on his lap, a situation he’d never found himself in and so he sat there, his embarrassment growing until he had had enough.

“That’s enough. I deserve an answer. You’ve been doing this for weeks now.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and poured yourself a glass of water asking him to wait as you calmed yourself down.

Finally, you turned around to Raphael, leaning against the counter, pink in the face as you decided the only way he’d get it through his head is if you explained it to him.

“Solomon is laughing because I keep failing.”

“At…hanging mistletoe? You did fall a few times…” he noted, his shoulders instantly relaxed as he now knew he was not part of some hallmark movie plot to set him up with Solomon.

You shook your head. “Raphael, how many times were we under the mistletoe at the same time?” You asked him to recall and he thought about it.

“…every time?” He said but it still didn’t click.

How could someone observant enough to be the best hitman in the celestial realm be so blind to this?

“Raphael…” you sighed and gave him a dumbfounded look. “I’ve been failing to get you to kiss me.”

Having it finally spelled it out, Raphael was very quiet and very still for what felt like minutes but was probably a few moments.

Then Raphael did something you’d never seen the proud angel do before. He hid his face in his hands and remained that way for what was minutes.

Luke and Simeon came into the living room to check up on him and Simeon offered you another glass of water which you drank as you became anxious this was a clear rejection.

Finally, Raphael sat up straight, face as expressionless as usual, and got up from the couch with his spear in hand. He disappeared around the corner and your heart fell. You thought you’d fall over as tears pricked the corners of your eyes when Raphael reappeared with a single leaf of mistletoe he’d ripped off a wall somewhere.

Now he blushed and looked away from you. You blinked in surprise trying not to get your hopes up but you ran up to him and hugged him. He stuck the leaf onto the end of the spear which reached above you both and he looked down at you, pink visible in his cheeks.

You looked up at him and closed your eyes. He stared at your freshly glossed lips and closing his eyes too he bent down and you finally felt the kiss of your angel’s lips.

[lookninjas]

@penroseparticle, this one's for you.

Pick a country (for occasionally loose definitions of "country") song from a bad description! You do not need to recognize the song from the description, although one of them is very very very very very obvious this time. Go by the vibes. Go for what makes you chuckle or sounds intriguing. Follow your heart.

At the end of the week, I will post a playlist with all the songs in order, from the song with the least amount of votes to the song with the most amount of votes. If you would like to hear the playlist but don't want to put a lot of effort into it, leave a comment or put it in the tags on your reblog and I'll tag you. If you really just need to know about a specific song and don't want to wait, shoot me an ask and I'll answer.

And please reblog! It's time to make your mutuals listen to some straight-up (maybe not that straight) country music for a change. Especially that one. You know the one.