#BUT I AM WAITING FOR PINK SHIRT MY WHOLE LIFE I WILL GO IN THE NEGATIVES FOR THAT

[killuaisaprincess]

ITS NOT A WANT ITS A NEEEEED

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl.

Synopsis - The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5.1k

Warnings - cursing. sexual content towards the end. mild alcohol consumption. age gap. smut in next chapter(s).

Author's Note - part one is finally here!! thank you so much to everyone who asked to be tagged, and who liked and reblogged the masterlist. i am SO excited to share this with you. i've built this world in my head and trust me it is gorgeous - salty ocean breezes, sunsoaked sailboats and billowing white linen shirts. i hope you can lose yourself in my little seaside town with bucky for the time it takes you to read this, just as i did while writing it. i can't wait to write more of this series for you x

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Requests. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

next chapter (two).

Tethering /tɛð(ə)rɪŋ/

An event in which two soulmates are bound together forever. Only occurs when the Universe decides it is time. No sooner, no later.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The gentle ocean breeze gives you a moment of respite from the scorching sun that's beating down. You're half asleep, laying on the cool tile of your balcony when your phone rings.

"Babe! Babe! Babe!"

"Lacie? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I am freaking out right now, oh my god. I didn't know who to call. You'll never guess what just happened to me!"

You can guess. In fact, you already have.

Lacie's Tethering. It's finally happened.

You're taught, growing up, that your Tethering is the biggest moment of your life. It shapes who you are forever. Sets you on your eternal path. You're presented with your soulmate in a big display of love and affection and metaphorical fireworks. It's supposed to be magical.

You wish people would shut up about it.

The World seems to be split into two categories - the people that have been Tethered, and the people that haven't.

You fall into the latter.

You're repeatedly told it'll happen one day. It'll happen when the time is right. It'll happen when you least expect it.

You're not sure you ever want it to happen.

The idea that the Universe determines the person you're with forever has never sat right with you. What happened to free will? What happened to personal preference? You believe you should at least have a choice in the matter. It's your future, after all.

Not everyone shares the same sentiment.

"Babe, you still there?"

Lacie's excitement filled voice pulls you back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you busy? Can you meet me for coffee, like, now?"

You take a deep breath and plaster a fake smile on your face.

"Sure. I'll see you in ten."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Oh my god babe, it was just incredible! You won't even believe it. There's nothing like it, truly."

You remind yourself quickly that Lacie is your best friend, and that you owe it to her to be happy for her. Personal feelings about soulmates aside.

"Tell me all about it, Lace!" you encourage, grabbing a hold of her hand excitedly.

The blonde girl squeals before shuffling closer to you, pressing her knees against yours.

"Okay, so. Picture this. I'm at my gym, doing my usual routine. I'm wearing my super cute pink Lulu Lemon set, you know the one with the flowers?"

She waits for you to nod in affirmation before she continues.

"So, I accidentally drop a weight on the ground, and it makes the biggest noise. I'm super embarrassed, and I'm trying to pick it up, but it's so heavy. And then, the hottest guy I have ever seen appears. Like, seriously gorgeous."

As much as you despise the whole soulmate thing, you can't deny how happy Lacie seems. She's almost vibrating with it, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"He comes over and picks it up for me, sets in back on the rack. And then he introduces himself, and shakes my hand, and it happened."

"What was it like?" you smile, eager for her to carry on.

"Like fucking magic."

You've heard that before. A million times. From literally everyone. Surely it can't be that magical if billions of people have experienced it.

"Magic?" you prompt.

"It is indescribable, babe. It's like... it's like everything just falls into place. Like everything finally makes sense!"

She jumps out of her chair, hugging you tightly. She's practically sat on your lap in the coffee shop, but neither of you really care.

"So, what's his name? What's he like?"

"His name is Cameron. He's new in town, he just moved here for work. He's a personal trainer, so he's like, super fit. And gorgeous. Did I mention gorgeous?"

"Maybe once or twice," you laugh.

"I'm so happy," Lacie whispers, emotion choking her voice. "I can't believe it finally happened. This is the day I've been waiting for since I was a little girl."

You hug her tighter, and ignore the look you get from the barista.

"I love you," she declares, suddenly serious. "You know that me being Tethered now doesn't change that, right?"

"I know," you confirm. "I love you too, Lace. I'm really happy for you."

You genuinely mean it. Lacie has talked about meeting her soulmate every day since you met her in the 3rd grade. You may have never quite shared her enthusiasm, but you admire her passion. And you adore her, more than anyone.

"So, what now? Are you gonna get married tomorrow and run off into the sunset?"

"I'm choosing to ignore your sarcasm because I know you're using it as a coping mechanism," she tells you pointedly. "And I know that there's a tiny part of you that wishes you'd been Tethered already, so you don't have to deal with everyone talking to you about it."

Jackpot. She's read you like a book.

"No, we're not getting married tomorrow," she rolls her eyes before continuing, "but we are going on a real date tonight. We're gonna get dinner and get to know each other. Isn't this crazy? I'm going on a date with the guy I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with!"

"That is kinda crazy, actually," you laugh. "What are you gonna wear?"

"It doesn't matter - we're going to be together forever anyway!"

You make Lacie promise to send you a picture of her outfit as you're leaving the coffee shop, which she agrees to with glee. On your way home, you pick up some of your Mom's favourite wine, and prepare yourself for another soulmate based conversation that will inevitably happen when you tell your parents the events of the day at dinner tonight.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Hi, sweetheart!" your Dad beams as you step through the front door of your childhood home.

"Hey, Dad," you greet, allowing him to pull you in for a hug. "Where's Mom? I brought wine."

"Kitchen," he gestures with a nod of his head. "She's making that mango dessert you like."

Walking into your Mother's kitchen is like dipping your feet into a pool on a scorching hot day. The windows are propped open, curtains billowing softly in the wind. The ocean breeze drifts through the room, ruffling your Mom's dress and floating the hair away from her face. The evening sun beams in, illuminating the space with a golden glow. It smells like fresh fruit, mint, and salt water. It's a haven.

"Hi, Mama."

"Oh, my love! Just in time. I was about to call you to see if you were alright."

She makes her way over to you and kisses you on the head swiftly, before walking to the cabinet to grab wine glasses.

"Sorry I'm a little later than I said. I changed my outfit three times - it's warmer than I thought it was going to be."

"I know! Summer, finally. We've been waiting long enough."

She takes the bottle of wine from your hand and pours it into the glasses.

"You've poured four, Mama."

"Didn't your Dad tell you? Bucky's joining us for dinner."

"Oh. No, he didn't mention anything."

"He's back from his vacation. He promised he'd show us all of the pictures he took!"

She grabs the glasses and floats out of the room, leaving you alone in the kitchen, thoughts of Bucky Barnes swirling around like dust in the sunlight.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky.

Your Dad's best friend.

They met a few years ago, when Bucky moved to town. He said he was looking for something quieter, sick of city living. He wanted to slow down a bit, finally take a breath.

He was out for a run around town, getting his bearings, when he stopped your Dad on the driveway to ask about his car. They bonded over their love for motorcycles and vintage vehicles, and the rest is history.

Bucky's been a regular fixture in your life for so long, you can't remember a time before. All you know, is that it was probably a little more peaceful. His boyish charm is infectious, bringing out the youth in your Dad. They're like teenagers, when they're together. Long lost frat brothers, your Mom jokes.

She's got a soft spot for him. Most people do. It might have something to do with the fact he's devastatingly handsome.

It's no secret that Bucky Barnes is a ladies man. He is without even trying. He's charming, gorgeous, funny in all the right ways. He's mysterious, but not disarming. Tough, but not scary. Rebellious, but not a liability. He's a catch.

A catch, with a taste for beautiful women.

Your Dad always jokes that he's the towns most eligible bachelor. You can't count on two hands the amount of women you know that have dated him - but nothing seems to stick. He isn't Tethered, after all.

Some people choose not to date, if they haven't met their soulmate. They wait and wait, and when the time comes, they're complete. Others take pleasure in dating before it happens. Might as well make the most of the freedom, Bucky said once. You can't help but agree.

Might as well make the most of the freedom.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Hey, buddy!" you hear from the hallway. You make your way out of the kitchen to be met with the sight of Bucky, sun-kissed and practically glowing. His hair has a few light streaks from the sun, and the faint freckles on his cheeks are more prominent now. His steel blue eyes meet yours, mischief rife in them.

"Hi, honey," he greets, draping an arm around your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek, light stubble scratching your skin. You throw an arm around his back and look up at him.

"There's no way this tan is natural," you tease, nudging him slightly.

"It makes me even more gorgeous, doesn't it?" he jokes, winking at you. He squeezes your shoulder before letting go, grabbing a bottle of wine from his bag.

"I brought your favourite, Lori."

"So did I," you echo, laughing.

"Great minds, honey. Great minds!"

"You can never have too much wine," your Mom yells out from the kitchen doorway. "Bring it in here, Buck. I'll put it in the refrigerator."

"Yes ma'am," he obliges, making his way to her with a smile on his face.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Guess what happened today," you begin, in between bites of your strawberry salad.

The three of them look at you intently, urging you to continue.

"Lacie got Tethered."

"How exciting!" your Mom squeals.

"That's a long time coming," Bucky chimes in. You look at him and smirk.

"Tell me about it."

"Here we go," your Dad smiles. "Our two anti soulmate protestors."

"Don't make it sound so political," Bucky laughs. "She's the only one that gets it."

"I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it again. Just. You. Wait," your Mom lectures. "The two of you don't get it."

"Magic, fireworks, eternal love, blah blah blah. Trust me, I get it."

"She gets it," Bucky echoes. "And so do I. The Universe decides our fate, and we get no choice whatsoever. I don't believe in it, is all. I have no faith in the system. I should get to choose."

"But you feel like you are choosing," your Dad defends. "It didn't feel like it was being determined for me. It's hard to explain."

"It's just so... backwards," you justify. "I can't believe we live in a Universe where we have all the choices in the world, but don't get to choose the person we spend the rest of our lives with."

"It's worked out pretty well for us," your Mom smiles.

And it has. The first thing anyone notices when they meet your parents is that they are undeniably in love. You've never met two people more perfect for each other - which should solidify your belief in the Universe, really. But it doesn't. You can't explain where your lack of faith in it came from. It just appeared one day, and you haven't been able to shake it since. You're grateful every day to have two Tethered, happy, smitten parents. You've seen how hard it is for people with Untethered Mothers and Fathers. The judgment, the uncertainty, the hushed whispers. It sounds unbearable.

"Yes it did," your Dad confirms, shaking you from your thoughts. He reaches for your Mom's hand and kisses the back of it tenderly, eyes never once leaving hers. You look to Bucky next to you, who smiles at you gently. Feelings about soulmates aside, the both of you love these two people sat across the table with all your heart.

"Trust me, sweetheart," your Mom begins. "I know you're against the idea now - God knows I was the same at your age. But when it happens, you'll forget about all of your rebellion. You'll just be happy."

You nod in agreement, praying for the conversation to be over. As if he can read your mind, Bucky pipes up.

"Let me show you some pictures from Italy. I did promise I would."

You shoot him a grateful look before picking up your empty wine glass and making your way to the kitchen for a refill.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The dining room is now lit solely by candlelight, wax dripping onto the white lace tablecloth like condensation on a cold glass. The sun fell asleep hours ago, the four of you enjoying each others company with no regard for time.

"Oh, shit. It's late," your Dad says suddenly.

"You got big late night plans?" you tease.

"We have Clara and Mike's wedding at the weekend, so we're flying out tomorrow. We should probably get some sleep, so we're not exhausted."

Your Mom rises from her chair and kisses you on the head, before grabbing the dessert bowls from the table. Your Dad helps, smiling every time his hand brushes hers accidentally.

"Thanks for coming, kiddo. Your place next week?"

"Of course. I think I'll try that salmon recipe you sent me."

"Can't wait," your Dad assures you, giving you a one sided hug. He squeezes you once before letting you go to grab your shoes.

You can hear your parents saying their goodbyes to Bucky as you tie your laces, smoothing out the skirt of your dress as you stand. They all join you in the hallway, Bucky leaning over to grab his jacket from behind you. Fuck, he smells good.

"Have a great time at the wedding, you guys. Send me pictures, please!" you say as you hug your Mom goodbye.

"We will! Drive home safe, the both of you!"

They shut the door softly, leaving you and Bucky stood on the porch. The evening air chills your bare legs, salt in the breeze sticking to your lips.

"Where's your car?" he asks, looking around.

"Oh, I walked. It was a nice day, and I'm trying to be a little greener. Save the planet, and all," you chuckle.

"You want a ride, then?" he offers, leaning against the side of his truck.

"Uh - maybe," you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot. You feel antsy, for some reason. There's a buzz flowing through your veins, making you a little restless.

"Maybe?" he smirks.

"I just, I'm not sure if I wanna go home yet. It might be that I've had three glasses of wine, but I'm kinda... jittery? Think I need to burn off some energy. Maybe I'll walk home."

"Like hell you will," he grumbles.

You quirk a brow in confusion.

"It's dark, and all those college kids are in town on their break. I don't trust 'em."

You fight to keep the grin off your face. You weirdly like it when Bucky gets protective. He's always so calm, so relaxed - it takes a lot to rile him up. He looks hot with a clenched jaw.

"Why don't we go somewhere?"

"Where?" you ask tentatively.

"I don't know," he thinks for a second. "How about the beach?"

You smile, gazing at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

"I fucking love the beach."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The ocean waves break the shore steadily, the repetitive pattern calming you both. You're sat on the sand, grains slipping through your hands where you're pouring it out through your fingers. The light of the moon reflects off the surface of the sea, illuminating the abandoned cove. It's just you, Bucky, and the night sky.

The alcohol in your system has evened you out, warm buzz keeping you sheltered from the chill. Bucky's stretched out next to you, strong arms folded underneath his head. His shirt rides up slightly, exposing a slither of sun kissed skin. You pretend not to notice his Adonis belt, or the little trail of hair that leads down into his waistband.

The silence is easy, comfortable. You don't get to hang out like this often, just the two of you. It's nice.

A notification on your phone breaks through the tranquility. You both flinch.

"Sorry," you mutter, checking the screen. "It's Lacie, telling me about her perfect date."

He chuckles lowly at your tone, sitting up to look at you.

"This is hard for you, isn't it?" he asks. "You hate the whole soulmate thing, but you like seeing her happy."

Bingo. It's like he's read your mind.

"I don't know why I hate it so much" you confess quietly. "It's a part of life. I can't avoid it. I just think - what if... what if I'm like, the exception, or something? What if I never meet my soulmate - or - what if I meet them when I'm like, seventy? That happens, you know! And then I'll be fucking cursed to spend my entire life feeling like this."

"And what is this?"

"Hopeless. That's what this is. I just feel pretty fucking hopeless."

You're not sure why you're baring your soul to Bucky tonight. You could blame the wine, but you know that's not what it is. Maybe it's because he seems to be the only one that understands.

"Me too," he whispers.

You whip your head around to stare at him in shock. He laughs at the look on your face, and continues.

"You're young - you have time. I'm forty in a couple of years. Every single one of my friends is married to their soulmate - except for me."

You bite at your lip nervously, but refuse to tear your eyes away from his steel blue ones. His face is lit by the glow from the moon, and it takes your breath away for a second. He looks almost ethereal.

"You always act so... unbothered. I didn't realise... I guess I just, I didn't -" you try to gather your thoughts before continuing. "This fucking sucks, huh?"

He laughs with his whole chest, and you're convinced the sound is so special, so rare, that you should bottle it. Sell it as medicine. It'd cure anything, you're sure of it.

"Yeah, it does," he agrees with a chuckle. "It's the waiting around that's the worst part. The unknown. It could be minutes, it could be decades. I just don't know."

"At least for now, we have each other," you joke.

"Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.

You allow your weight to press into his side a little, leaning in. He's warm, and he's familiar, and in this moment, he understands you better than anyone else in the world.

"We'll be okay, honey," he murmurs. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."

You close your eyes, and allow his words and the breaking waves to calm your nerves. Bucky wraps an arm around you, and all the tension melts from your muscles.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're not sure if it's the honest conversation, or the brisk ocean breeze, but you've sobered up in record time. Your body registers this, and sends a shiver down your spine.

"You cold?" Bucky asks you. "You wanna go home?"

"Not yet," you whisper. "Not yet."

He shrugs off his worn brown leather jacket and slips it over your shoulders. It smells so strongly of him that it makes you dizzy. Bucky settles back down in his original place, returning his arm to where it was draped over you. His rough fingertips rub patterns into the material that now covers your arms, and you wish, for a fleeting moment, that it was your bare skin instead.

"You been working on anything new recently?" he enquires in a hushed tone, careful not to ruin the atmosphere.

"I made a damn good batch of macarons yesterday," you reply, beaming smile etched across your face. "Raspberry and lemon. I'll bring you some, next time I pass the Garage. You're gonna love them."

"You know, I think the only reason I ever get Mechanic of the Month is because you bring by all of your sweet treats."

You laugh melodiously, and the sound makes Bucky's heart stutter in his chest without warning.

"Happy to be of service," you tease. "I take requests, too, if you ever want something specific. Just let me know."

"You're the best, sugar."

You sink into Bucky's hold a little, daring to rest your head on his shoulder. When he doesn't stop you, you exhale, and relax even more.

"Are you working tomorrow?" he asks.

"Nope. You?"

"Nah. I'm going sailing, finally. It's been way too fuckin' long," he grumbles. "Your Dad's usually my right hand man, but he'll be in Ohio. You wanna come?"

The idea of laying on the deck of a boat in the blazing sunshine with a shirtless Bucky Barnes sounds like heaven. Who could say no to an offer like that?

"Yeah, of course. I'll bring a picnic, if you like. It's the least I can do."

"Sounds perfect," he replies, squeezing your shoulder.

Suddenly, he rises to his feet, extending a hand out to you. You grab it, and he pulls you up, the both of you shaking sand off yourselves.

"It's late, and dark, and a little cold. You ready to go?"

You nod your head, and make your way over to his truck, ignoring the heat that blooms over your chest when he opens the passenger door for you before his own.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Thank you, for tonight," you say as he pulls up in front of your apartment building.

"Thank you," he replies, killing the engine. "It's nice to have you back, you know. Wondered if you were gonna finish college and stay out there in California. Thought we might not see you again."

He almost sounds... relieved. The idea that he might have missed you if you didn't return effects you more than it should.

"I liked it there, but... I don't know. My family's here. I'm only twenty three. I've got time to move around the country. I missed this place too much when I was away."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," he chuckles.

"I know, trust me. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Yeah, they say a lot of fuckin' things," he jokes.

Bucky swings his door open, hopping down from the drivers seat. He makes his way over to your side, holding out a hand so you can jump out.

"Careful," he warns. "It's higher than it looks."

You grab his hand, and step onto the metal sill. Your foot slips slightly, sending you tumbling down and forward, out of the truck. Luckily, Bucky catches you, one hand in yours, other on your hip.

"Woah, easy. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," you breathe.

He places his hands on your cheeks and cradles your face, searching for any signs of distress. You place your palms over his, silently reassuring him.

And then, it happens.

Warm, golden, molten electricity surges through your veins, lighting up each and every one of your nerve endings. Your surroundings explode into glorious technicolour, everything suddenly brighter and more vibrant. It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, only to be replaced by one that beats in a slightly different rhythm. There's flowers blooming in your ribcage, new life happening inside of you. You catch eyes with Bucky, expecting to see his stormy blue ones looking back at you. Instead, all you see is your future.

Vivid, flashing images of Bucky Barnes fill your mind, each one of them tinted with a warm, rosy hue. You feel like you're being reinvented. Your skin is alive, hyperaware of the way Bucky's palms are still gently cupping your cheeks. Your fingertips tingle with anticipation where they rest on his, itching to touch every inch of him. You feel as if the oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, and replaced with love.

Your knees are the first to buckle, the weight of the moment taking you down. You hit the ground, and so does Bucky, his palms not once leaving your face. You're both kneeling on the warm concrete, ocean waves providing a distant soundtrack. Blood is rushing in your ears, and you wonder for a second if you're about to pass out. You squeeze Bucky's hands so hard, it's a miracle you don't break his fingers. He squeezes back, eyes locked on one another.

After what feels like an eternity, you both break out of your reverie. You lean forward, resting your forehead against Bucky's, both of you panting.

You're trying to catch your breath unsuccessfully. You move one of your hands to rest on Bucky's chest, right on his heart. You swear the steady beat of it spells out your name.

He mirrors you, and moves his own hand to rest above your frantic heart, the other still glued to your cheek. You both breathe, in and out, trying to match each other. When you finally do, it's as if time stops. It's just you and Bucky. One heartbeat. One soul.

You break away from him to look into his eyes again. They look different, you think. He looks different.

He gazes back at you, cheeks flushed and chest heaving. The moonlight dances off your faces, illuminating the moment both your lives changed forever.

"It's you," he breathes in disbelief.

A laugh escapes your chest, surprising you both. He chuckles with you, and before you know it, the both of you are in hysterics, sitting on the sidewalk at three in the morning.

"Of course it's me," you giggle. "The two people that hate soulmates, Tethered together. You couldn't write it."

Bucky grins at you, clutching at his stomach.

You both take a breath, and realise your surroundings. Bucky gets up first, heaving you up by your arms. He towers over you, suddenly close. Not close enough, you decide. Never close enough.

You lunge forward and crash your lips to his. Bucky instinctively wraps one arm around your back, moving his other hand to hold you by the back of your neck. He tastes like salt and spearmint and every kiss for the rest of your life.

Bucky presses himself into you, attempting to tangle your bodies together. He wants to feel every inch of you against his skin, willing you to come closer. He aches to climb into you, sew himself into your ribcage. He'd be content to live there, beating your heart, forever.

You whine, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You tilt your head back, and fist your hands into his shirt, plastering yourself to his front. He shoves his thigh in between your legs, the rough denim a welcome contrast to your soft skin. You buck your hips forward, and the friction is so delicious it makes you dizzy. You've never been kissed like this. It's almost feral. You're both surrendering to your fates, giving in to the animalistic urges coursing through you.

A seagull caws on a nearby street lamp, and the sound makes you both jump. You suddenly realise your scenario. Your Dad's best friend, who also happens to be your soulmate, has you pressed against his truck in the street, kissing you like he's running out of air and you're his only oxygen source. If it goes any further, you'll both get arrested for public indecency.

"Fuck, sugar," he murmurs against your mouth. "My pretty girl. My honey."

"My soulmate," you whisper.

The reality of it comes crashing down like a tsunami, drenching the both of you.

Bucky kisses you again, gentler this time. The tenderness makes you want to cry.

"What do we do now?" you mumble, fear coating your voice.

He senses your trepidation instantly. He feels it, actually, right in the front of his chest. It's like you suddenly share one body. There's no guessing, anymore. He knows exactly how you feel.

He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his building anxiety. He knows that if he stays calm, you'll stay calm. That's how Tethering works, right? He has to keep it together for the both of you, despite the panic that's rising in him, vibrating in his bones.

"How about... how about we both go to bed, get some sleep - and then we go sailing, later on today, just like we planned? And no matter what, we take everything one step at a time."

"One step at a time," you repeat, attempting to pacify you both.

"We'll figure it out," he reassures. "I know we will."

You find the will to step apart, which proves harder than you thought. It's like Bucky's an anchor - fastening you to peace, to happiness, to serenity. The more distance you put between your bodies, the more unsettled you feel. When you're not touching him, it's as if everything becomes unsteady, more difficult. You feel like you're on a rogue sailboat, battling the waves, threatened to be thrown overboard. Bucky is your lifevest, your lighthouse in the dark night. You're not sure how you're supposed to live your life any more than two feet away from him at all times.

You breathe, and smooth down your dress, running your fingers through your hair. You reach out and adjust Bucky's shirt where it's been wrinkled due to your tight grip.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmurs, fingers tangling around your own.

"Goodnight, Buck," you echo.

He leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, savouring the taste of your cherry lip balm. He wraps his arms around you, unable to resist. Bucky breathes you in deeply, smiling uncontrollably. Nudging your nose with his, he murmurs gently against your mouth.

"My honey girl."

tag list <3

@lillytracy6996 @securegorgon @roostersforevergirl @povlvr @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @val-writesstuff @t-t-hello @dreadfulxives18 @1deadpool26 @abbygraceasd @nyutasgirl @mavrellover91 @myloveniall @winterslove1917 @f-this42 @skewedcherries @floralwsloki @noisesinthedark @kandis-mom @black-cat-2 @harrystylesandthegoobs @vladsgirlxx @h0nestly-though @arienotari @nash-dara @alesabisou @wandaneedstherapy @galaxy-dusk @justherefortheficandsmut @pedropascalsleftfoot @cremebruleequeen @ladifreakingda @cjand10 @buggy14 @avengers-fixation @blueberrybambi @beautiful-loserr @evan-peters-wife @llamazarecoolaf @ace-27749 @hinata7346

[mountainsandmayhem]

Netflix & Chill

Marcus Pike x Female Reader

18+, MDNI

Summary: You spend your fifth date with Marcus at his place watching Netflix.

Or

You might be in your thirties, but you can still Netflix and Chill.

Warnings: fluffy smut. Kissing. Little bit of dirty talk. Fully clothed. Marcus just being the love of my life the entire time.

AN: Don’t look at me. Don’t talk to me. I am too busy having my brain absolutely disintegrated by thoughts of Agent Pike. I am sick over him. Down bad. Wanting to rip off my arms and beat myself senseless with them over him. Leave me alone!! But also leave me nice comments because I’m a slut with a praise kink lol. Thank you so much for reading 🤎

Graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics

Moodboard by me

“Oh god,” you whimper, both of you are fully dressed. You’re caged under his strong body as he pushes his hips down on you. You can feel his cock through his grey sweats and your thin, black yoga pants. The credits of whatever movie you were watching rolled in the background.

“Is this ok?” He asks, kissing at your neck and earlobe. The soft, fuzzy brown blanket falls around both of you, encasing you in his earthy and citrus scent.

“Ya, please don’t stop.” You writhe under him, feeling that familiar tingly pressure building. He smiles into the crook of your neck.

It was your fifth date with Marcus Pike, FBI agent and potential man of your dreams. In his younger years, he probably would have already slept with you by now. But age has made him a man of patience and waiting. Only giving what he’s willing to let go of, what he can nurture and grow. And for the first time in a long time, he thinks that might be you.

“I won’t stop, baby.”

Baby, shit. He panics internally. He’s only called you by your name until now. He nervously looks over at you and you smile sleepily.

“I like that,” you mumble.

“Which part?” He asks his voice like warm oil along your skin. “Me grinding into what I’m sure is the most beautiful pussy in the world, or the kisses on your soft, slender, vanilla scented neck, or me calling you baby?”

Your legs start to shake around him as you pull him in to kiss him hard. You sweep your tongue along his bottom lip. He tastes like the popcorn and expensive Cabernet Sauvignon you were both drinking.

“All of it,” you say between kisses.

He pulls away, bringing his hands to your face and gently wiping the few loose hairs that stick to your skin, then drags the tip of his nose down yours before resting his forehead against yours.

“You’re truly so beautiful. I’m so happy I met you, baby.” He pushes his hips into you harder and a pornographic moan fills the room as the trailer for whatever Netflix is suggesting next plays. “Sound so pretty too.”

“Marcus,” you say wantonly.

“I know. I’m here.” He says, eyes still locked on yours, one thumb making sweet, soft circles on your cheek while his other slips behind your head.

Your hands bunch into his white t-shirt. “I’m gonna cum,” you moan, letting his coca-cola coloured eyes wash over you, and drench your whole body in carbonated pleasure. Sparkling, bubbling, fizzing over the edge.

“I’m right here, honey.” He whispers, pushing into you a little faster. Your body jolts into his as you suck in quick, shallow breaths.

“Ohgodohgod. Mar-Marcus,” your walls clench tightly around nothing as he hits at your puffy, sensitive clit through your pants at the perfect tempo and pressure.

“Relax, baby. I got you.” He encourages and then you fall apart for him. Your body twitches on its own accord as your orgasm rolls through you for what feels like an eternity.

“That’s it,” he whispers, stilling his hips. “Just take. That’s a good girl.”

You clamp your eyes shut as you reach the top of it. “No, look at me, baby. You’re so beautiful like this.”

Pink flushes your cheeks at his words and the blood that seems to not know where to go in your body. Everything feels like it’s being doused with warm water as you finally come over the edge and the fluttering of your pussy slows.

His eyes dance around your face before he kisses your forehead, and the tip of your nose. You smile into his lips as he places a light and lingering kiss on yours.

“Are you okay?” He says sweetly, pulling back slightly.

“Ya, that’s was…” you search his face for any hint of regret but all you see is admiration. You finish with, “…unexpected, but amazing.”

As he starts to respond, a whipping sound followed by a moan comes from the TV. Both of your heads turn towards it.

“Netflix is suggesting 50 Shades of Grey,” he laughs.

“That’s more of a seventh date thing for me,” you say flatly as his face whips back to you. You can’t help but laugh at his reaction. Both of you now laughing as you sort yourself back out, cuddling into him to find a new movie to “watch” next.

Taglist:

@corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @rainstorms-library @keylimebeag @pimosworld

@casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot @lorilane33 @jessthebaker

@jasminedragoon @pedroswife69 @iloveenya @javierpena-inatacvest @pedroshotwifey

@mermaidgirl30 @littlevenicebitch69 @untamedheart81

Special tag for @survivingandenduring because I know you share my love of this man.

[flowerfreya]

Weaponized Incompetence

“Do you know how to clean”

Part 1

Pairing : John Price x Reader

John and you are going through a rough patch , one that may not be solvable

John is going to win his wife back. How? He doesn’t know but it will be done. He loves you with all his heart and he hasn’t been showing it in the best way. He put you on the back burning , a constant always in his life that he didn’t nurture or pet. Never stimulated. Didn’t think he needed too. Thinking paying the bills, having money, and not cheating was enough to be a good husband. (It wasn’t).

Price has been cleaning all day, trying to make things right. He brought flowers for the house. Vacuumed every room , mopped the kitchen and bathroom and started laundry.

He thought he had a great day, so he decided to take leave for the next three weeks. He hasn’t told you yet but he thinks that you will be excited.

That’s not the case.

When you step into the house, Price is standing at the door waiting for your reaction, if you have any at all.

Looking around and then seeing his face and looking likes he’s waiting for something, “What’s going on ?” , you say with a little chuckle.

“I cleaned up” , he says, lifting his arms up and turning his body in a look around motion.

“Oh…what did you clean up?” , you ask, starting to walk around the house.

“I vacuumed, mopped and started the laundry”.

“Did you put down carpet freshener?”

“No”

“What did you use to mop?”.

“Just water”.

“Did you separate the clothes by light and dark?”.

“No”.

John looks up and sees you just exasperated and shaking your head.

“I honestly don’t know why I’m surprised”, you walk over to the washing machine and stop it, pulling out a light pink shirt that you know is for sure supposed to be white.

“John, you basically just pushed dirt around when you mop with just soap you know that right”, you start getting the mop bucket out with soap.

He thinks that’s found a solution , “maybe if you write me a l-”, he stops talking when you whip your neck and stare at him.

“Are you a child or an adult?”, you ask.

“An adult”, he answers.

“I’m not making you a list to clean, you're in the military, you should know how to clean…do you know how to clean?”, you turn off the water and turn your whole body towards him., “are you going to answer the question?”

John clears his throat,”yes, I know how to clean”, he doesn’t understand why you are so angry. He thinks that he did a lot for you today, shit almost everyday he does a lot for you and you being angry at him and not telling him why is starting to grate his nerves.

“What did I do to you”, he snaps, “because you are angry at me and I don’t understand why”

“I guess it’s because you act like a child and I’m tired of it”, you snap back.

“I heard what you said to your friend over the phone, do you actually feel like that?”, he ask, moving closer to you. He doesn’t want to argue with you. He wants to be better for you. He wants you to want him not because of convenience , but because you love him.

“Am I tired of cleaning of your shit, shit that I have AKSED you multiple times to clean up….?”, you answer him.

You start to cry, an angry frustrated cry , “I work too you know , I’m tired all the time, and when I get home from work and see nasty dip bottles on the floor I get frustrated.” , you start to mop , like you don’t want him to see you cry.

“I remember asking you to clean up the bottle, to not leave it just laying around, you said okay, do you remember that”, you look up at him with raised eyebrows. He nods his head because he does remember that, actually he remembers all the times you’ve asked to not leave the dip bottles everywhere.

“In my head, I told myself that this would be the last time I ask you to clean up after yourself, and the next week a fucking dip bottle sitting right along side the couch”, you let a self deprecating chuckle.

“I’m done”, you say with such finality. It scares him that he won’t be able to get you back.

[abbyslev]

if your requests are still open, would you PUHHHLEASE write about a beach date with my beautiful gorjus stunning breathtaking wife shoko pls

beach date || shoko ieiri

a/n: i’m going on a girls beach trip soon and oh my god ofc i couldn’t pass up on this🥹

-

“this is what i needed.” shoko stretched out her arms, the sun hitting her pale skin.

“i know right!” you set down the towel right under the umbrella. “can’t wait to fall asleep here.” she helped you set up. “so when can i set these down?” gojo whined from behind you. “stop complaining.” shoko snapped at him.

“what the boss said.” geto chuckled. gojo set down your bags, his glasses slowly sliding off his face. “i want to go play mermaids!!” you jump, grabbing gojos hand, running off into the water. “wait!” shoko grabbed you, pulling you back.

“not without a kiss.” she pressed her lips to yours. “or sunscreen.” she kissed the tip of your nose, before turning you around. she placed the cold lotion on your back. “make it quickkkk.” you complained, face pouting. she placed some on your face, kissing your lips once more before freeing you into the water.

gojo was already burning up. geto placed himself next to shoko on the towel, sliding his beach shirt off. “this is what we needed.” he tied his hair up. “bad.” shoko mumbled, putting her sunglasses on, leaning back on her arms.

geto and shoko watched as you and gojo splashed each other in the water, even bringing them back some seashells.

“are you nervous?” geto nudged a very still and tanned shoko. she sighed, pulling her glasses down. “yeah, a little.” she smiled. “don’t be. its gonna be great.” geto looked up as the two ran up to them. “i’m hungry!” gojo fell to his knees digging through the bag.

“i’m hungry too!” you leaned on gojos wet shoulder’s, hair dripping water down his back. “i brought sandwiches, they’re in the pink bag, baby.” shoko said from her spot. you dig through the bag, taking one out for gojo and one for yourself.

you shoved the thing in your mouth, eating quickly. you wanted to go back in the water. gojo was on his second one already. geto stared at him in disgust.

you two hopped up, ready to get back in the water. “where are you two going?” geto looked up from his book. “water.” you pointed back, pinkie wrapped around gojos. “we were gonna play mermaids again.” you frowned. “not until those sandwiches digest, the fuck you’re not.” shoko scolded both of you. “but i wanna go play!” you stomped your foot. “uh uh, you two are gonna throw up.” shoko shook her head. “mean.” you rolled your eyes, but laid next to shoko.

She wrapped her arm around you. “you’re very warm.” you said, kissing her cheek. “will you stop dripping water all over me!” you two heard. you turned your heads, watching as gojo shook his wet mop of a head all over geto.

after a while of all you sitting on the beach for a while, the sun started to set. shoko got up, searching for something in her bag. you stood up, stretching. “i’m gonna go swim, get a head start.” shoko nodded at you. you nodded frantically, making your way towards the water.

you stopped halfway, admiring the sunset. “hey,” you heard behind you. you turn around, eyes widening. shoko was right behind you, on one knee, hand holding out a beautiful ring. behind her was gojo and geto, both grinning ear to ear.

“i have unsure about a lot of things in my life. nothing ever goes right, but if there’s one thing that did go right and that i am sure of, it’s that i want to be with you forever. for the rest of my life. i want to spend it with you, everyday of my life. you’re all i want to love, you are my whole life. so will you please marry me?” shoko smiled at you.

“fuck yes!” you kissed shoko, tears running down your face. gojo and geto clapped, both coming in for a group hug.

“i cant wait to spend forever with you.” you kiss shoko once more.

[azzifuddworlddomination]

casual pt.4

paige x azzi

where my perkins tolerators at???

they'll be a part 5, maybe a part 6

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here girls let me open up the trunk for you,” Paige’s mom says as they approach the car. Azzi had already been subjected to a somewhat awkward reunion between mother and daughter, and now she has to sit through a forty-minute car ride with not only Paige and her mother but her siblings as well.

Paige truly does love her mother, and her mother loves her. When Paige’s mother, Amy, found out she was having a girl she was over the moon. So excited for the princesses, the pink, the dresses, and the unicorns that would fill her life once her little girl was born. It didn’t take long for Amy to catch on that her baby girl was a copy and paste of her father, Amy’s estranged husband. Between Paige being a constant reminder of her failed marriage and several states between them, Paige didn’t see her mom too often. Amy thought inviting Paige’s best friend would sweeten the deal and encourage her to come. She was right, but as the girls giggle as they load their stuff into the car. Amy silently rejoices as she sees her daughter happy to be in Montana for once.

As they pull out of the airport parking lot Paige’s younger siblings, Ryan and Lauren, begin to fire off every question and fun fact that hits their mind. Paige and Azzi indulge them by giving the kids the silliest answers that she can to keep them entertained as Amy navigates the snowy mountain roads. Finally, they reach Amy’s home. As they bring in their bags Paige nudges Azzi, “y’know you’re staying in my room right? My mom said she set up the guest bedroom, but I told her you’re fine with me.” Conflicted, Azzi responds, “P, if your mom went to all that trouble I should at least humor her.” 

Amy leads them into the house, stopping at Paige’s room so she could drop off her bags before taking Azzi further down the hall. “Here you go Azzi, let me know if you need anything, okay sweetie?” Azzi nodded her head as Amy shut the door behind her. She held my hand the whole flight… who does that?? Casual my ass, Azzi thinks to herself. She stares up at the ceiling, am I stupid??? What am I doing here?” Azzi’s thoughts are interrupted as she hears knocks on the door. Azzi sits up at the sudden noise and looks over at the door. It’s Paige, she lets herself in as Azzi gives a nod of approval. Paige makes her way over to the bed and sits down next to Azzi. Silence fills the room before Paige breaks it. “Don’t sleep in here,” Paige looks at Azzi. She has a earnest look in her eyes, “Please, I need you with me…” “Okay,” Azzi replies “I will.” 

 Amy turned on a movie for the kids to watch as she worked on Thanksgiving dinner for the next day. Ryan and Paige played Fortnite on his switch as Azzi let Lauren tell her all about the fourth-grade drama ensuing at her school. Azzi even pinky swore to not tell anyone that Lauren had a boyfriend, a boy in her class named Brady, who played basketball but wasn’t super good. Azzi also promised to beat him in a game of HORSE if he broke her heart. As the night continued, one more movie and three more bowls of popcorn later, Lauren and Ryan were asleep. Paige carried Ryan as Azzi carried Lauren to their rooms. Meeting back out in the hall after they had laid their respective kid down, they went into Paige’s room. Azzi briefly imagined what that would be like someday, laying their own kids down to go to sleep. But reality hit as Paige left Ryan’s room and ushered Azzi into hers.

Paige closed the door as she pressed Azzi up against it, kissing her neck. “I’ve waited all day to do this, Az,” Paige muttered as she kissed a trail down her neck. Azzi could give you a list of a thousand reasons why she shouldn’t give in right now, but she ignores all of them as she slips her shirt over her head and lets Paige lead her to the bed.

Hours later when Amy walks by, after finishing a night-long cooking session, she peeks into Paige’s room. The two girls lay in bed, burrowed into the blankets. Too tired to really process anything she figures they must’ve fallen asleep talking. As snow falls over the peaceful Montana mountains that night. Paige pulls Azzi closer as the cold winds seep through the window crack.

“Wake up!!! Wake up!!! You’re gonna miss the parade!!!” Lauren and Ryan run into Paige’s room as the two girls frantically attempt to untangle their limbs. “We’re up! We’re up! Geez get out of here!” Paige yells as her younger siblings retreat out of the room. Paige gets up and throws a sweatshirt and flannel pajama pants toward Azzi, “it’s cold as shit,” she mutters as puts warmer layers on. The two join Lauren and Ryan in the living room watching the parade. They decide to join the kids’ protest of breakfast to save room for their Thanksgiving dinner.  

After the parade is over Paige retreats to her room to change as Azzi wanders into the kitchen. She finds a distraught Amy at the kitchen table. “The wind must’ve knocked the power out last night! The fridge never turned back on. All of it is spoiled! God I can’t do anything right,” Azzi envelopes Amy in a hug. “You couldn’t have known that that was going to happen… It’ll be okay,” she reassured her, “we can go out to eat! It’ll be fine it’ll be okay!” Paige walks in and sees Azzi hugging and soothing her mom. Concerned at what happened Paige approaches them, but Azzi brushes her away and mouths to “not worry about it.” 

Azzi helps Amy find a restaurant open on Thanksgiving day. They settle on a Perkins that’s about thirty minutes away. While it wasn’t the Thanksgiving dinner she had worked so hard to give her kids, it was still something. Amy loaded the kids into the car as they waited on Paige and Azzi. “When you were with my mom… That was really sweet, Az,” Paige held Azzi’s cheek and turned her towards her. “It was really no problem,” Azzi replied sheepishly. “I love you, Az, I mean it,” Paige looks Azzi in the eyes before finally bringing her lips to hers. Paige pulls back, as Azzi looks up at her, “I… I… think your mom’s ready to go.” 

As Amy pulls into the Perkins parking lot, its deserted. They walk into the resteraunt, and are seated immediately. Amy can’t help, but wonder if they’re judging her. Once their orders are taken, Paige excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Looking around the table, Azzi decides that going to the bathroom now would be less awkward than sitting with Amy, Ryan, Lauren, and their father. She follows Paige to the bathroom, and opens the door to see Paige splashing her face with water. “You okay, P?” Azzi asks. “Yeah, fine,” Paige responds. “No, you’re not P…” Azzi looks at her. “I said I loved you, Az, and you didn’t say anything back,” Paige replies. “I do… I really do love you Paige, its just I’ve been so confused about what we are lately I just couldn’t say it,” Azzi responds, moving towards Paige, “What are we?” “We’re what we’ve always been, Az,” Paige says grabbing her hand. Azzi should’ve been pissed off by this non-answer-answer, but as Paige grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad. “Yeah?” Azzi responds, playing with Paige’s fingers in her hand. “So… do you love me?” Paige asks, “I love you, P” Azzi responds bringing her hand up to kiss it. “Then show me,” Paige says as she drags Azzi into a bathroom stall. “This isn’t a good idea,” Azzi says as she pulls at Paige’s flannel to expose her shoulders. “Your mom’s out there… she could walk in…” Azzi tries to justify between kisses. “So let her,” Paige breaks out as she grabs Azzi’s hair. 

Azzi presses Paige against the door as she kisses down her neck. Shedding her flannel, Paige throws it on the floor as Azzi helps lift her shirt above her head granting her access to more skin. Azzi kisses down Paige’s neck and stomach before arriving at her jeans. She looks up at Paige for permission as she unbuttons her jeans. Azzi pulls her jeans down and kisses the clothed area before moving to her inner thigh. Azzi rises back up to Paige’s height as she plunges two fingers deep into her folds. 

When the girls arrive back at the table, their meal is already out. They tried their best to smooth each other’s hair, and rid each other of a freshly fucked look. Amy sarcastically welcomes them back to the table, and for a split second, she wonders if her mom is catching onto them. 

[greymoonfeelings]

The Best Day

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Fem! reader

Summary: Bradley’s past year has been spent creating lasting memories with you, but tonight is about to be his favorite.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: pregnancy, cheesy ass love, mentions of angsty situations

This is for the @tgm-all4one challenge! The prompt “Last summer was one no one could ever forget. Now, a year later, character(s) still feel(s) the effects of that time” is very fitting as I’m still thirsting over these pilots a year later. Happy anniversary TG:M!

•••

Last summer was one of the best Bradley had experienced in a long time and things had only gotten better. A year later, he’s still feeling the effects of that summer, the endless happiness that it had brought into his life. Not only had he made up with his Mav and made a new family with the permanently stationed Dagger Squad, but the girl he met within the first week in San Diego was about to be his wife.

The first time you and Bradley met, you had been enjoying a rare day off at the beach. The sun was shining bright and the cool temperature of the ocean was a welcomed change to the heat of your stuffy office. You had been getting out of the water after enjoying a nice swim. You thought you were far enough from the group of people playing football in the sand, but you weren’t. As you wiped sand off your torso, something collided with you. You hit the sand hard, but before you could curse out whoever slammed into you, you were met with an outrageously attractive sight. The man profusely apologized, asking how he could make it up to you. The offer of a night of free drinks was enough for you and the events of that night had led you to this moment right here.

“Are you sure about this, Bradley?”

The two of you stand in each other's arms in your shared bedroom. You’re wrapped in a pink fluffy robe and Bradley is still dressed in his sweatpants and ratty old UVA shirt even though it’s nearing 4 pm.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Bradley assures you with a light kiss on your temple, careful not to press too hard on your makeup which you had just spent the better half of an hour perfecting.

“You’re not just doing this because you feel obligated?” You drop your gaze to your growing stomach, suddenly feeling very unsure of yourself. You need Bradley to want to marry you because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, not just because you’re carrying his child.

Bradley tilts your chin with two fingers bringing your eyes back to him. There’s nothing but adoration swimming in his brown eyes. “The only reason I didn’t drop down on one knee earlier was because I thought two weeks of knowing each other was too soon.”

“Two weeks?” You ask incredulously.

“See, you agree, it would’ve been crazy. But I wanted it, honey. I am not just marrying you because you’re carrying my child, but I took it as a sign.” His large hand joins yours in covering your small bump. “That’s my baby boy in there and I want nothing more than to marry his mommy.”

“Save the sweet talk for your vows, mister.”

“Oh, just wait. I’ll have the whole backyard in tears.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chide playfully. You fully believe in Bradley’s ability to turn all your guests to mush. For all his playfulness, Bradley Bradshaw is an extremely emotional man and he always knows the perfect words to put you in your feels (not that it’s hard nowadays with your hormones all over the place.) “Get outta here so I can put on my dress. It’s bad luck to see me in it before the altar.”

“Now you’re superstitious? You know it’s also bad luck to see you the day of.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little ‘stitious, so leave.” You shove Bradley towards the bedroom door as he busts out laughing at your response. When you finally get him out of the room, you shut the door and fall against it with a big smile. Hearing that laugh for the rest of your life is going to make you the happiest woman alive.

You spend the next hour getting into your dress and putting the final touches on your look. It's easy to relax knowing that Penny and Mav have everything under control with the guests and backyard set up. Bradley had put your last-minute fears to rest and now the butterflies in your stomach are from pure excitement. Tonight is about to be the best and easiest night of your life.

———

The opening notes of the Bridal March cut through the cooling summer air in your backyard. You take a deep breath and smooth down the fabric of your dress before moving forward. You begin your journey down the path of bright green grass that’s surrounded by white folding chairs on both sides, making your way toward the makeshift altar.

All your closest friends and your parents stand from their seats and watch you with big smiles. Your eyes scan over each of their faces as you walk past. You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek as you bask in the love that is palpable in the air. To think, a year ago, you had felt so alone in a new city and now you were surrounded by people you called your family.

Your eyes finally land on your fiancé who stands beside his uncle under a wooden arch decorated with yellow flowers. Bradley watches intently as you travel towards him, looking like a princess in your wedding gown. He immediately tears up at the sight of you illuminated by the canopy of fairy lights strung across the trees.

His chest feels tight from how much love he’s experiencing. Never in a million years did he think he would ever be this happy, not after everything that had happened in his life. You were like a breath of fresh air and the moment he met you, he knew things would never be the same.

You finally come to your spot in front of him and Bradley wants to kiss you right then, but he knows that’s against the rules. Instead, he takes your soft hands in his and presses a kiss to your knuckles.

“You look so beautiful.”

“You clean up nice yourself.” You beam up at Bradley with the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen and he can’t help the wide grin that splits his face. He's never felt this giddy in his life.

Maverick clears his throat before beginning. “Today is a celebration. A celebration of love, commitment, friendship, family, and of two people who are in it for forever. I’ve never been good with words, so I will try to keep this short and sweet. Some people believe that love is determined by fate. They believe that love is a cosmic thing, set by the universe and written in the stars. I’ve always been a skeptic, but Carole Bradshaw believed in it. She believed that she and Goose were meant to be. She would’ve believed the same about you two.

The type of love that I witnessed between Goose and Carole was one that I never thought I’d see again, but I see it here, between the two of you. The love between you is genuine. It’s shown through everything you do for one another, and how you treat each other in good times and bad. You help each other grow and become better people. You encourage each other with patience and kindness. There is no doubt in my mind that your love will last for many years to come. May your lives together be long and filled with many happy memories.”

By the time Maverick is finished, you’re a mess. At the mention of your departed in-laws, you immediately started crying. You loved them so much and you never even met them. You knew just from hearing about them how much they loved each other and knowing that their best friend sees that same love between you and Bradley warms your heart.

Bradley sheds his own tears from thinking about his parents and how they can’t be here in person, but instead of wiping his tears, he dries yours. He never wants to see you cry even if he knows these aren’t bad tears.

“Now, do you, Bradley Bradshaw, take this beautiful woman as your wife? Do you promise to love her unconditionally, offer her your love, support, trust, and respect as you build your future together?”

“I do.”

Maverick turns to you. “Do you take this man as your husband? Do you promise to love him unconditionally, offer him your love, support, trust, and respect as you build your future together?”

“I do,” You promise and the genuine love in your eyes tightens Bradley’s chest.

“You may now exchange your vows.”

“Can I go first? Because I have a feeling after yours, I’ll have too much snot running down my face to speak properly.” You speak, barely above a whisper so only Bradley and Mav, by proximity, can hear. Your question elicits a watery chuckle from Bradley as he nods for you to begin.

“For as long as I can remember, I have waited for my prince charming. From falling for fictional characters to terrible teenage lovers, I eventually came to terms with the idea that the love I wanted didn’t exist. I tried to make peace with the fact that I was likely going to end up all by myself. It was the main reason why I threw myself into work and consequently took the job that brought me to San Diego. The day I first met you, when you knocked into me at the beach, I thought, ‘I am going to castrate this man…’”

Everyone laughs, including Bradley. Your reaction was on par with what they all knew about you.

“But then I looked up and saw a hunky god-like man looking down at me, apologizing and I decided that it would be cruel to deprive the world of your ability to have kids. Now, one year later, I’m the lucky girl who will be gracing this planet with the cutest babies ever.” Your hand finds your stomach as everyone laughs again.

“Bradley, you are so much more than I could have ever dreamed for. You love me in a way I never thought I would experience. You love me on my darkest days when I can’t bring myself to eat and have day-old mascara running down my cheeks. You love me when I obnoxiously belt out old pop songs on the freeway and when I hog all the blankets. You love me so much that you get up at 2 am to get me convenience store pickles because I woke up craving them. I spent so long thinking I was hard to love, but you never make me feel that way. You’re patient and kind. You take everything I throw at you in stride. I love you more than words can express, but I hope I did a good job.”

As you finish, Bradley’s calloused thumb graces your cheek to wipe away tears you didn’t realize had fallen. His eyes are glossy too and a few stray tears make their way down his face.

“That’s gonna be a tough act to follow.” His voice comes out thin, evidence of his emotional state. He then clears his throat before he begins his vows.

“I spent most of my adult life alone. After losing all my loved ones, I was hurt and angry at the world. I never let anyone new get too close because I was afraid I would lose them too. I always seemed like the most popular guy in the room, serenading the whole bar, cracking jokes, and acting like everyone was my best friend, but I would return to my empty room at the barracks feeling like the loneliest guy in the world. When I got called back to Top Gun, I thought it would be another lonely experience, but then I met you that fateful day at the beach and everything changed. I never believed in love at first sight in fact, I never believed that I would find love ever. I knew it existed, I saw the love my mother had for my father even after he was gone, but I didn’t think it was in the cards for me. The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were my forever. You made me yearn for a future I never even realized I could have. I felt terrible for body slamming some poor girl, but I felt ten times worse when I saw it was my future wife…”

“You’re laying it on real thick,” you joke even though his speech is causing you to cry like a baby.

“You doubt me, but you’re standing here with me, and I’m about to put a ring on it.” Bradley smiles back before continuing. “I knew that if I wanted to have a shot with you, I would need to tear down the walls I had spent so many years hiding behind. The idea of opening up to you was terrifying, but you made me want to do it so badly. I wanted to get to know you and I wanted you to know me too. You remained by my side, waiting patiently and encouraging me as I slowly learned how to open myself up again. You never pushed me or made me feel like my grief was a burden. You never made me feel bad about battling old ghosts, you even helped me conquer them.

I love you more than I thought a human being was capable of. When I’m without you, I feel lost. You’ve become the best part of my day. You let me lean on you when I’m having a rough time. You never judge my feelings and you always make sure I feel loved even when I don’t feel I deserve it. You make me stronger and happier. I never knew what living meant until I met you. All those years I spent floating through life and feeling bad have disappeared. I never want to know what it’s like to live without you now that I have you. I love you and our baby boy so much. I can’t wait to build this life with you.

“God, I fucking love you.” You cry softly and Bradley squeezes your hands that have been enveloped in his the entire time.

“It's time to exchange your rings.” Maverick prompts and Jake rises from his front-row seat with the tiny silk pillow that holds two silver bands. You each take the respective bands meant for the other.

Bradley holds your left hand delicately in his and as he slips the silver wedding band on your ring finger, he speaks. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my everlasting love for you. It's a promise that I will always love you no matter what separates us be it land, sea, or sky.” Once the ring is sitting snug on your finger he presses his lips to it.

You repeat the step with Bradley’s hand, bringing the band up to his finger and pronouncing, “With this ring, you will have a reminder close by that you are always in my heart. I love you and I am yours today and forever.”

“I know the two of you have been eager to get to this part, so we won’t make you wait any longer. It's my pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife. Bradley, you may now kiss your bride.”

“Thank god!” One of Bradley’s arms snakes around your waist while his free hand comes to caress your cheek. He kisses you with such force it would send you stumbling if it weren’t for his arm steadying you. You throw your hands around his neck, pulling his body flush against yours and kiss him back with just as much passion, cementing your love for your now husband.

You never want to pull away, but you do for the sake of getting enough air to keep you standing upright. Bradley’s lips brush against yours softly as he whispers. “I love you so much.”

Your hands find each other as you turn to face the crowd. A loud round of applause breaks out as you throw your clasped hands in the air as a symbol of unity. The two of you had been going around as a united team for a while now, but this solidifies it.

———

Your first dance with Bradley to The One by Elton John is straight out of a movie. The fairy lights twinkling above you illuminate Bradley’s soft brown eyes which capture yours in a loving gaze. A soft smile has found a permanent place on his face this evening and you have a matching one. The two of you waltz around the dance floor with your arms wrapped around his middle and his holding you tight around your waist.

When the chorus begins, Bradley gently brings your head to rest against his chest. Your ear presses against the soft fabric of his shirt just above his heart. The sound of his steady heartbeat mixes with the very fitting lyrics. Despite all the eyes on you, it still manages to feel like you and he are the only two people in the world as you dance together.

“When stars collide like you and I, no shadows block the sun. You're all I've ever needed. Oh, baby, you're the one.” Bradley sings just loud enough for you to hear and then presses a kiss to the top of your head, letting you know that the words are specifically for you. And they encapsulate your feelings just as well because Bradley is the only one you ever needed, him and now your baby boy.

As the song ends, you pull Bradley down for a lingering kiss, holding onto the collar of his shirt even as the music changes to a more fast pace song. Bradley hums happily against your lips and when he pulls away, he has a giddy smile on his face.

The rest of the night is spent dancing with your loved ones around the backyard. Laughter and off-key singing fills the air as people let loose. It’s no secret that the squad is one of the rowdiest bunches around and this night is a perfect opportunity to have some unforgettable fun. Food is devoured, bets are made on how long it will take Bob to bust out the old sprinkler dance move and shots are taken each time Bradley gets caught staring at you.

When it comes time to cut the cake, everyone watches intently as your hand covers Bradley’s and the two of you cut out the first slice together. You each take a fork full and feed it to the other, resulting in another round of applause from your guests. While Bradley is distracted savoring the spongy cake, you take the opportunity to gather frosting on your fingers and smear it across his face, making sure to get it into his mustache. Before he can do the same to you, you take his face in your hands and like a long stripe across the coarse hairs.

“Mmm,” you hum smugly.

“There are children here!” Bradley gasps, scandalized as if the action hadn’t turned him on a little bit. You cackle in response, but your amusement is cut short when Bradley scoops up a dollop of frosting and spreads it across your face. He licks the light purple frosting off your cheek before kissing you hard.

———

After giving a riveting performance of Baby One More Time at the request of Phoenix, you step away and take a moment to catch your breath. You watch from afar as your friends continue to have the time of their lives.

Jake and Coyote are taking I Wanna Dance With Somebody way too seriously, serenading Fanboy and Bradley who are singing back at them equally as loud. Payback twirls his wife around. Bob seems to have overindulged in the beer, an unusual occurrence because he’s all too confident he can hit the high notes of the song as he jumps around with Phoenix.

It’s impossible to stop the giggles coming from you as you watch the scene unfold. These big, strong, badass fighter pilots look silly dancing around with absolutely zero inhibitions. These idiots are your family and you couldn’t love them anymore. They are exactly the type of people you always wanted in your life. You stand for a few moments longer, simply soaking it all up.

Fanboy, the “DJ” of the night, announces through the speakers that there will be one last song, a slow one for all the couples. You almost can’t believe the night is already over. You feel like you could spend forever stuck in this moment. The joy, fun, love, it’s all so amazing. This night is only the beginning of the rest of your life with Bradley, but it’s been the best night ever.

At Last by Etta James plays. It’s one of Bradley’s favorite songs to dance with you to. You’ve spent many nights together swaying in a dimly lit kitchen while the record plays. You make your way back to the dance floor where you find your husband waiting for you with an outstretched hand.

Bradley’s arms find themselves wrapped around your waist again. There’s a slight chill in the air from the midnight summer wind, but being close to Bradley keeps you warm. Other couples join you on the makeshift dance floor. Your parents along with Mav and Penny. Payback and his wife join. Phoenix drags Jake to dance with her and even with all the alcohol he’s consumed he’s still coordinated enough to dance the way his mama taught him.

“I’m so happy,” you whisper into the air between you and Bradley.

“Me too,” he whispers back as he lets his forehead fall against yours. “I love you.” One hand falls to your belly. The warmth from his large hand radiates through the fabric of your dress.

You press your lips against his softly. “You don’t have to keep saying it. I believe you.”

“I’m going to say it every minute until the day I die. I’ll shout it from the sky. I’m going to make sure the whole world knows.”

“You’re so cheesy,” you shake your head playfully.

“And you still married me.”

“Is it too late to change my mind?”

“That plane took off hours ago.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing I love you too.”

“Yes, it is. The best thing in the whole world.”

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 41

🌻~THE NEXT SUMMER ~🌻

Eventually, all of the sunflowers had perished by the end of fall last year. I told Haley that just means we can look forward to replanting them this summer. She really took me up on that because just two weeks ago we had planted them all once again.

The sunflowers aren't quite as tall yet this season, but by fall they will be towering over our heads. They are currently still tall enough to make the little bench area secluded from the rest of the world, just the way Haley likes it.

This morning though, is anything but sunny. It's raining total buckets outside today which limits the things I can do today. But then I got an idea.

Running to the telephone in my room, I dial Haley's number.

"Darling! Hi!" her voice sings through the phone.

"Meet me in the sunflower field in an hour," is all I tell her.

"In this weather? Are you insane?" She questions me.

"Trust me," I breathe out, heart pounding in my chest.

"Hm. Okay then," she huffs.

"Make sure to wear something you consider nice. You'll thank me later." Without another word from her, I hung up the phone.

I quickly throw on my signature overalls, work boots and cowboy hat. I have on a light pink t-shirt underneath my overalls as an attempt to look nice. I tie my hair back to my favorite half up half down style. My hair has been making its way back to its original length now. At this point it just passed my shoulders in length.

Without an umbrella or any rain protection, I set out into the nasty weather without a second thought. I know what I am going to do.

Haley and I have been going strong since we established our feelings for one another. All of our previous fighting and sass was all due to us being head over heels with one another at first sight. Who would've guessed? The perfect, pretty, pristine, boy obsessed girl was really into the dingy, dirty, farm girl the whole time. The way the world works goes completely over my head. If you were to tell me I'd be in this position 2 years ago, I would've never believed you. I'm sure Haley would feel the same way. I am so obsessed with her and don't think I'll ever be able to live my life normally if she wasn't with me. Which is why I am going to do this.

"Ahhh Danny. I knew you'd be coming soon enough. I could feel it in the damp, musty, rainy air." The way this guy spoke was absolutely creeping me out. I had chills going down my body, causing my arms to have goosebumps.

"Five thousand coins please," he says before I can even say anything. Cringing over how expensive that is, I reach into my backpack and rifle around until I pull out five thousand coins.

"Wonderful. Here you go..." He holds his hand out to me, dropping something into the palm of my hand.

"Thank you...Old Mariner?" I say questioningly. Unsure if he likes to be addressed as that.

I take a minute to admire the misty ocean water ahead of us. The rain blocks any view of the far away horizon. The rough waters sway and crash about, threatening anyone who dares to enter them in these conditions. It is almost an eerie sight to see when looking out into the rainy abyss of the ocean. I see why this creepy Old Mariner likes to show up when it rains. Really adds to this guy's dumb performance.

I turn to face the Old Mariner one more time before heading out. Except he wasn't there. Confused, I whip my head in every direction looking for him. How did he get so far from the short amount of time I didn't face him? And where does he even go?

Still chilled to the bone over this unnerving experience, I turn on my heels and scurry away from the beach. After all, I have a pretty lady waiting for me back at the farm.

Before entering the sunflower field to wait for Haley, I had tossed my backpack inside so as to not kill the mood with it on. It's not really the most romantic article of clothing in the world, and I'm already pushing it with what I have on now. I also cleaned myself up quickly so I wasn't all muddy and damp. I will end up getting damp from the rain all over again once I go back out to meet Haley, but it won't be as bad. Knowing her, she will show up with an umbrella so she doesn't get her outfit all wet and gross. I don't know what she will do about her shoes though.

I push my way through the thick stems of the sunflower field so that I'm ready when Haley arrives. If she is right on time, I won't have to wait much longer. I tried to time it so that I'm not waiting outside for too long.

To my amusement, I begin to see a cute, little, blue umbrella bobbing its way over the top of all the sunflowers. Haley held it higher up so that it wouldn't get caught in all the leaves and stems of the sunflowers most likely.

"I'm here!" she joyfully bounces into the clearing of the field where I wait. My arms are twisted behind my back nervously, carefully hiding my hands as well.

"Hi here. I thought you were Haley?" I tease, causing her to nudge my shoulder playfully.

"Why did you ask me to come here? It better be worth it. I'm ruining my good shoes for this," she rolls her eyes but cracks a big smile knowing that whatever I asked her here for will be worth it.

"I think you look gorgeous," I mentioned. She really does look so pretty. She is wearing a baby blue sundress with a small pink bow in the middle of the chest area. She has pink pumps on that match the small bow as well. It looks like she was extra careful with those shoes on the way here because they are barely dirty. Her golden hair is, as always, draped over her shoulders, cascading in a way that doesn't cover her beautiful face.

"Emily helped me do my nails this morning for some reason. I didn't think they were that wrecked yet, but she insisted on redoing them when I mentioned where I was going today."

Hearing Haley say that causes me to sweat and grit my teeth. Does Haley know? How did Emily know? I didn't tell anyone, I just came up with the idea today! I mean I was thinking about it since the new year, but I had never told anyone.

"Emily did a wonderful job," I had taken her hand in mine, looking over her blue ombre nails.

"Now are you going to tell me why you asked me here!" she gleefully exclaims, clearly on her toes about whatever may happen.

"Ahem..." I clear my throat, suddenly feeling much more nervous and choked up. It's really happening. "Haley... I had woken up today on this gloomy, gloomy day with a thought in my head I just couldn't shake. On gloomy days like this, I heard there is a visitor that appears on the island that you may have heard of. Now when I saw the rain, something clicked in my head, so I went to pay that guy a visit. Haley, I don't want to spend any more gloomy, rainy days waking up alone. I don't want to spend ANY day waking up alone anymore. I want you by my side every second of every day. You are my reason for getting up in the morning and making this farm the way it is. You give me the motivation to keep this farm up and running and you give me a reason to stay here instead of going back to the city. If I hadn't met you, I would've chickened out and ran back to the city to live a life I definitely didn't want. The forces of the universe clearly wanted me to come here for a reason, and that reason was you. I love you Haley."

As I blurted out my on-the-spot speech, Haley's eyes had widened to the size of saucers once she realized what was happening. Her hand slowly makes its way up to cover her mouth in shock.

"Um..." I awkwardly try to bend down on one knee, but realize that may not be part of the tradition so I stand back up. Then I realize that is whatever I want for this moment, so then I lower myself back down to one knee. Haley begins to giggle over my uncertainty. I take my hands out from behind my back and present them in front of Haley, holding the Mermaid's Pendant. One hand holds the chain, while the other one has the pendant part displayed on the palm.

"My pretty lady. My beautiful, beautiful Haley... will you marry me?" My words ring out into the air for a moment. Neither of us grasping that this is really happening.

Haley nearly drops her umbrella as she starts jumping with joy. She squeals excitedly a few times before collapsing into me, bawling her eyes out. I catch her just before her knees touch the ground so she doesn't fall straight into the muddy grass. The rest of her body falls more into my chest.

"Yes! A thousand times yes! I love you too, Danny," she sobs, muffled by my chest. I move her hair back while she sobs away into me so I can clip the Mermaid Pendant around her neck. I gently lay my arms around her shoulders after to reciprocate her hug.

The sunflowers around us dance in the warm, summer breeze. It makes them look like they are cheering for us. I pull Haley tighter to me and give her a tight squeeze. I'm having a full celebration with plenty of cheering in my head.

"We have to go tell everyone! We have to tell Emily so she can start making our wedding outfits! Hopefully she can do it all in three days but-" Haley starts.

"THREE DAYS? THE WEDDING IS IN THREE DAYS?" I shout, startled about the wedding date being so soon.

"We get married quickly here in Pelican Town," she sheepishly smiles, a blush spreading across her face. "Is it too soon? Do you want to wait?"

"I'd marry you right now if I could. Three days is perfectly okay with me," I reassure her.

🌻 🌻 🌻

Those three days couldn't have gone by any slower. The two of us were raring to get married the second we got engaged. We could hardly keep our hands off each other either. We had started construction on my farmhouse to give her an area of her own for when she moves in, but in the process of building and decorating we had a few... celebration breaks. Like I said, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

When the whole town found out we were engaged, they all started planning the wedding, Pelican Town style. Apparently it gets set up in the middle of town square like a lot of the other events they put on. They keep all of the outdated ceremony decorations stored away for every single wedding that is held here. It's hard to believe that Haley is okay with a wedding like this. She did add her own touches to it all though, but everything else she was happy with.

When we told Emily, she immediately started planning our outfits right away. She dragged us into her sewing room and started measurements. The two of them couldn't stop laughing at how much I didn't belong there with all the frilly clothes surrounding me. Emily was even going to put me in a dress for the wedding until I gave her a very very long, hard stare. When has she seen me in a dress? What made her think I'd want a dress? My dress denial made them laugh even harder. Emily, of course, respected my wishes and started designing me a suit instead. At least that's what I THOUGHT it was going to be.

When I showed up to get dressed for the wedding today, she pulled out the most outrageous outfit I've ever seen. Not in a bad way though, but in a way that I had never seen anything like it.

"White overalls? Are you kidding me?" I excitedly started laughing over how funny Emily is, taking them by the hanger from her hands.

"Haley knew you'd like it. She suggested it," Emily chuckles.

"Really? Haley suggested this? That girl surprises me more and more each day. Where is she anyway?"

"She went over to Evelyn's house to get ready. I'm going over as soon as you are done getting ready here. I figured you wouldn't take too long and she takes forever so it works out great." Emily pulls out a fancy white shirt to go under my white overalls. She also goes over to a shelf and grabs a pink flower.

"Since you aren't in a suit, you can put this flower in the front pocket of the overalls." Emily hands over the rest of my outfit and starts walking away to let me get ready.

"Thank you so much Emily. This is all so great. You've been a great friend and the best sister to Haley. We wouldn't be here without you," I call over to her before she walks out of the sewing room to her own room.

"Thank you, Danny. You make her so happy. You bring out a side of Haley we had never seen until you showed up. I can't thank you enough for being patient with her and letting her find her true self. I knew it was in there somewhere!" she laughs as she walks away.

Once I was all dressed in my wedding attire, Emily came right back to help straighten everything up and made sure it fits okay. She helped do my hair up nicely in the same way I always have it, but this time it looks better than when I do it. She smoothed back my hair to tie the top part into a ponytail, and brushed the hairs underneath so that they lay nicely down my back. She didn't let me wear my hat unfortunately as it would "ruin it". She said I could have it back after the ceremony. Haley had told Emily that she wants to be able to see my face in pictures. I guess I got away with wearing overalls to my wedding so I should be thankful for that.

I mosey my way out to the wedding area after getting dressed. That's where I see everyone else continuing to set up the last minute things for the big day. The one thing that catches my eye is that there are no chairs.

"Y'all don't sit or anything?" I asked the person closest to me which was Alex. He was in the midst of carrying a big flower pot.

"It's crazy isn't it? I always wondered that too," he replies. I watch as he looks me up and down quickly. "You look hot. Haley is gonna drool when she sees you."

"Why thank you. Sorry again for stealing your girl," I jokingly say.

"Oh please. You are everything I could never be. For one, a girl and two, into girls. I can't believe I never came out sooner. It would've saved Haley the headache I gave her. I feel terrible about everything I put her through and I hope she can forgive me one day. You really saved her from me. I'm glad you moved here and she took a liking to you. Anyways, congratulations on your big day. You two deserve it." He gives me a genuine smile and continues walking to wherever the big flower pot goes.

I wanted to help with all the rest of the setting up, but everyone kept saying no. All I could do was stand helplessly, watching everyone carrying decorations around. Leah and Elliot came over to chat with me and keep me busy too.

"See Leah. What did I tell you? They were meant to get married!" Elliot goofs.

"And I was the one who told them to go at their own pace. You wanted them to get married on the spot you wacko!" Leah responds to Elliot.

"Regardless, they made it this far and I see a bright future between the two of them. Lots of sex and lots of happiness. Cheers to that." That gets him a smack on the arm from Leah. I could see the laugh playing on her lips that she is trying so hard to hold in.

"I couldn't have asked for better friends when moving here. You guys have been such a help to me and made me feel comfortable moving in here. You accepted me as part of the town and I will forever be grateful," I sappily pour my heart out to them.

"We actually never accepted you, you just made that up in your head. I don't know where you got that from," Leah smirks and looks at Elliot. "Isn't that right Elliot?"

"Pfff yeah. We never liked you one bit. You are such a burden to us and should've never moved here. My Yoba, Danny." Elliot holds his palm out to me and turns his head away in disgust.

"Get in here you two," I take both of them into my arms and give them a big squeeze. They both return the hug by squeezing me back.

"It's been so great getting to know you Danny. Thank you for being our friend and putting up with us," Elliot says.

"You've been a lot of fun to tease and have fun with. You sure have a lot of patience," Leah adds. "I'm glad we met you."

"Looks like it's time!" Elliot excitedly informs me. He points at Mayor Lewis who is trying to wave me over to stand under the flower arch. Everyone else is standing in the audience, waiting for the big event to begin. I see Evelyn and Emily have weaved their way into the crowd which means Haley is fully ready and waiting.

Taking a deep breath, I take my place underneath the gorgeous archway decorated with pale pink flowers. I watch as every head in the crowd turns to look down the aisle. Jas and Vincent make their way towards me up the aisle, tossing flower petals as they go. I can't help but smile at how cute they are.

A moment later, everyone gasps. Haley appears at the end of the aisle staring back at me. She looks absolutely stunning. Her dress looks as if it came out of a fairytale. It has a big poofy skirt trimmed with the same light pink flowers as the one in my front pocket. The bodice hugs her body tightly, but loose enough to let her breathe comfortably. The straps of the dress are an off the shoulder design made out of tulle. Her hair was left down, but some front pieces were all tucked and braided to the back of her head with a few strands left out to frame her face. In her hands was the same style of bouquet I gave her when I wanted to show her I was romantically interested. Down to the same color ribbon I had tied around the stems.

My brain had gone completely blank. I was absolutely speechless and bursting with excitement. She slowly glides down the aisle, stirring up some flower petals from the ground as she moves. She looks absolutely magical.

She takes her stand next to me under the arch. The two of us looking into each other's eyes, forgetting everyone else exists. In the background, I hear Mayor Lewis begin speaking.

"When Danny first arrived in Pelican Town, no one knew if she'd fit in with our community... But from this day forward, Danny is going to be as much a part of this town as any of us!" The town folk start cheering at Lewis's declaration. Haley and I break our gaze as soon as we hear the last of his speech. "You may kiss!"

Without another thought, I sweep Haley into my arms like the world is ending and she is my only source of life. Her soft, glossed lips connect with mine instantly. The audience continues to cheer over our passionate, loving kiss. I would've kissed her longer if we weren't right in front of everyone, but eventually we broke apart. I take her hand in mine as we face the crowd. The wind picks up for a minute and it causes all of the flower petals to take to the air. I twirl Haley around to face me again and bring her back for another heart melting kiss.

"I get to be a farmer now, too!" she squeals, squeezing my hands in hers.

"And you are going to be the best wife anyone could ever ask for," I whisper as I tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, daydreaming over the beautiful future we are going to have.

[oxpogues4lifexo]

Keeping Up With The Camerons

TumblrTV

Keeping up with the Camerons

Episode 4 - Prince And Princess

Previous Episode Here

Episode transcript (/ means cut scene, bold italics means narrator, bold means host)

Word Count: 15.7k

Shorter Episodes Here - 3K Words

//

Coming up!

/

“All I want is for you to be happy.. and I’m gonna try my best to be better for you okay..?”

/

“Sometimes things just happen Bella you gotta understand that by now. With dad gone an’ all-“

/

“That pogue hasn’t got half the amount I do what’s her fucking deal?”

“Better dick..”

/

“Oh if you ask me he’s head over heels for her. Don’t tell him I said that..”

/

“How do I make it stop..? How do I make the pain go away.. It hurts”

//

Kooks. And Pogues. Two tribes. One island.

Or in this case..

The Camerons. Kildare. One family. The whole island.

I am your host Ryan Seacrest, and THIS is Keeping up with the Camerons!

/

This episode includes the bts footage the Camerons don't know you can see, forgetting that there are cameras in every crevice of their life not just in the hands of my camera crew! (Written in pink)

Not Proofread

//

“Bro just go talk to her!” Topper shadows Rafe around TannyHill, getting on his last nerve and knowing it.

Rafe groans, rubbing his brow as he stops; causing Topper to bump into his arm as he turns to face him. “Jesus..” Rafe curses. He sighs, “Don’t you think that’s what I’m trying to do? But you’re up my ass. Now shove off!” He waves his hand at him as he shoves his tongue against his cheek.

He opens the front door, raking his sweaty palm through his greasy bangs as he makes his way down to his bike.

“Look Rafe just a bit of advice-”

“I don’t need advice man, she’s my best friend I know how to speak to her.”

“Well clearly not or none of this would’ve..-“

“What was that?” Rafe’s head jerks to meet Toppers eyes, his hand midway through caressing his bike seat.

“No nothing! Rafe I just mean cos I spoke to her when I took her home you know. She said-”

“I don’t care what she said Topper. That was yesterday, this is today. I’m dealing with it now a’ight? Just let me do it and stay out of it.”

“You uh..” Topper snickers as he watches his friend hook himself over his bike. Dressed.. not so appropriately for a motorbike.

“What?” He gravels, watching Toppers eyes as they don’t shift from his outfit. He looks down and scoffs, “What? Don’t think to dress up for your girl once in a while?”

“Okay THAT needs to stop!” He points at Rafe with his brows raised, referring to him always calling Bella ‘his girl’ when she’s anything but. “But also, yeah alright I guess but Rafe you’re going to apologise for some shit you’ve done to her! Don’t you think wearing a shirt and dress pants is too much?”

“She likes this shirt?” He doubts himself, tugging at the collar as it’s suddenly feeling a little too tight.

“No no I know I didn’t say you look bad, I just..” He watches Rafe’s eyes, never seeing that look in them before and sighing, “You know what?” He taps his back, “She’ll love it Rafe.” He smiles sweetly and nods to reassure him.

Rafe bites his lip, nodding slowly as he throws his helmet on, “I hope you’re right..” He breathes, eyes still holding that same look as before; Topper ‘almost’ feeling upset for THE Rafe Cameron.

“Hey man just.. take the blame yeah? Own up to it. Don’t make her feel like she did anything wrong.”

“But she didn’t?”

“Exactly what I’m saying Rafe. Just don’t make her feel bad and shit. Like how you use your like reverse psychology on us. Making us think it’s our fault when you haven’t actually said it was, you know?”

“When have I ever done that shit?”

“Everyday..” Topper nods unimpressed, not even waiting for him to finish talking.

Rafe nods along unconvinced and slightly confused as he sucks in a breath before flicking down his visor. He kicks up his kickstand and revs the bike.

“Just-“

“Topper?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” He groans, lifting the front of his bike as he heads off out the gate.

“Tell me how it goes!!!” Topper yells over the sound of Rafe’s engine not quite knowing if he heard him or not.

//

“That stupid black shirt..” Topper groans, “He wears that shit to parties, to family events, if he’s trying to impress her, or make her happy or ask for forgiveness..” He moans, counting slowly on his fingers as each word drags out painfully. “It’s like, get a new shirt dude?? That things been through wars. Literal wars. It’s about time you find a new apology outfit.” He drops his head in his hands, a muffled breath pushing through his fingers.

He looks up, dragging his hands along his face as a quiet groan falls from his mouth. “I’m just saying,” He huffed, heavily rolling his eyes as he speaks, “He’s so fucking lucky she hasn’t got no one else or he wouldn’t be able to rely on the thought she’s gonna come back everytime. She needs him and he takes advantage of it, he don’t even realise it. But it’s because he needs her too and just won’t admit it.”

“So what are you saying? That he’s just doing this because he feels as though he has to?”

“No of course not! I mean, you saw the look in his eyes right? He seemed so nervous and desperate to get her back, like I almost felt bad for him and that’s the rarest thing I could do. I mean, they have their issues, but they never used to, and you can tell that, just from the way they look when you bring the other up.”

“What Bella basically was saying last night, is that she feels like Rafe has pushed himself away from her, like he doesn’t like her as much anymore and she doesn’t understand exactly why. But Rafe would say the same about her. It’s all a load of miscommunication I’m assuming but you can just tell by the stupid fucking look that they care way too disgustingly much about each other.” He physically shivers, grimacing at the thought as if it were the worst thing to ever happen.

“Are you like their mediator would you say?”

“Uhh..” He chuckles, running his fingers through his fluffy hair as his brows furrow, “I wouldn’t say mediator, I prefer to not get involved in their shit. Mostly because Rafe would kill me. But I am the one they speak to about this stuff. Or, well Bella anyways. She’s always come to me about everything; it feels nice, to be fair, to know she feels comfortable enough around me to speak about all that stuff! Like her anxiety, she doesn’t talk about with anyone but me. I don’t even think Rafe knows how bad it gets and that’s saying something cos he knows everything about her.”

“So your more of the therapist?”

“Yeah fine I guess so.” He laughs, nodding along.

//

Bella hums, wiping down the countertops with her earphones hanging from her ears. The dishes were all freshly cleaned, by her obviously, the rooms all neatly tidied, and the house quiet and smells like vanilla cupcakes. Her favourite candle scent.

She gets to the kitchen table before a loud thud pulls her from her daydream. She flinches, pulling her earphones out immediately as she looks around, not quite gathering where the sound came from.

It happens again, her eyes quickly pulling to the front door as she frowns, almost tearing up at the thought that her brothers come home.

She puts everything down and quickly jogs over to the door, “Look Callum I-“ she stops as the door had opened wide enough for her to realise who’s really outside.

“That’s not my name princess you should know that by now.” The blonde boy drags a hand through his hair as he laughs to himself to make up for the silence.

She watches him, eyebrows dipped and face tensed. “What’re you doing here?”

He steps closer, offering a hand but she quickly rejects it as she rolls her eyes, “Can we talk?”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” She shuts the door in his face, going back over to the table.

“Bella please!” He whines through the door, his voice shaky as a quiet thump was heard of his head hitting the door.

His voice caused her to stop. She stood a moment and took a deep breath before going back over to the door, “You have two minutes Rafe.”

“Ah you know my name!” He lifts a hand with a grin but still nothing. He coughs away the awkwardness as she shuts the door behind herself so they were both positioned infront of the house under the pretty porch light.

They stand there for a few minutes where they both stayed quiet, eyes avoiding one another. Bella plays with the flowers above the door and Rafe counts the wooden floorboards under their feet whilst he swayed back and forth, hands tucked into his pockets. “So..” He coughs, “Bells are you okay?”

Her eyes shoot to his; hesitating to answer, she stutters, “Uh- uhm..” She opened her mouth to speak but the sight of the boy watching so concerned, she knew maybe it wasn’t the best time. “I’m fine.”

“No cmon Bells talk to me. I wanna know what’s been on your mind recently, I’m worried ‘bout you.” He reaches up to push a strand of hair out her eyes, tucking it behind her ear as she looks back up at him. Her hand finds his and pushes it against her cheek for a moment.

Rafe’s lips pull, rubbing his thumb along her soft skin. She sighs, pulling his hand away but keeping a tight grip of it beside her waist. “Rafe I..”

“Hit me. I deserve it all Bella just let it all out.” He speaks quietly but honestly; causing her eyes to follow up to his once again, the pure genuineness radiating from the boy warming her heart.

Now feeling as though she can properly open up, Bella takes a deep breath and nods to reassure herself, “I feel like.. ever since the cameras have been on you, I don’t know..” She pauses a moment, contemplating her next words but it’s too late to stop now, “You seem different. Like you don’t care anymore. It’s like you’re trying to act cool or something for the audience. Looking for attention or something..”

His eyes never leave hers, his attention never moving away from her as he listens to every word that leaves her lips. His thumb still rubbing gently against her hand as he squeezes tightly, comforting her the best he can in the moment.

“Rafe it’s like you put the show before everything else. But didn’t you say to me, ‘it’s just a stupid show’? So why do you care so much?”

He waits, trying to figure out if now’s the time she wants him to speak but quickly realising when her eyes stick onto his.

“I..” The sudden pressure to talk and also trying to keep in mind what topper said about taking the blame was causing him to stutter, “I don’t?”

Shit..

She frowns and he immediately felt a lump grow in the back of his throat, wanting to quickly take back what he said, “I mean- Yeah okay.. fine look I’m sorry.. maybe I do put the cameras first. But..” His eyes move down to her hand, watching his thumb run along her knuckles as he stops talking.

“Rafe..?” Bella tilts her head under his, catching his eyes in hers as she tightens her grip on his hand.

“Hm.. yeah um..” He lifts his head back up, rolling his shoulders back. “It’s beca- because um.. I wanna make him happy..” He whispers, almost inaudible to the camera as his eyes fail to meet hers.

“Make who happy..?” She questions softly.

“Dad- Ward I mean..”

Bella’s eyes widen, her hands finding his cheeks as she lifts his head to look at her, “Hey Rafe..” His eyes search for hers as they begin to well, “You don’t have to try so hard for him, you know? Just you willing to participate is enough for him. He’s proud of you! He told me that! Just.. why can’t you be yourself? That’s all he wants and that’s all the cameras want!” Her thumbs graze the apples of his cheeks, “Rafe that’s all I want!”

Rafe’s hands take hers and pull them away from his face, “Bella I didn’t.. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry..” He sighs, wiping his eyes before the little pricks of tears could be picked up by the camera.

She smiles weakly, trying her best to keep comforting him, “Don’t be, just.. promise me, you won’t let them get to you?”

His brows furrow, a grin tugging at his lips as a small breathy chuckle falls from his mouth, “Are you quoting me, to me?” He points at himself, amusement written all over his stupid face.

Bella giggles, unaware of the mishap, “Well I didn’t mean to but.. yeah I guess I did!” She snorts.

He watches a moment, admiring the joy on her face, the happiness he created amongst the two of them from a mere sentence. He did that. Him.

“Come ‘ere.” He holds out his arms and he nods his head. She looks up at him with that soft little smile before jumping into his arms. Squeezing tightly, his arms wrap around her like a vice, placing kisses all around her head that cause her to giggle and squirm in his grip.

“You got work to do huh.” He lifts himself up, holding her arms as that stupid smirk sat back on his face, his eyebrow jerked.

“They’ll fire me anyways it’s fine.” She shrugs, tugging at his hands.

“Why because you skipped yesterday?” His smirk only grew as he watched her face drop, the realisation very visibly sinking in.

“Mhm..” She pulls him, trying to get him inside, “Yeah no we’re going c’mon! Can’t have you becoming one of us princess.” He pulls her hand that she used to hold onto his firmly, spinning her around and placing his arm round her neck.

Bella groans, resting her head to the boys shoulder as they make their way down to his bike.

Rafe pats the seat to his bike, watching as Bella’s figure sat perfectly ontop as her big doe eyes stared back at him, a gentle smile pulling at her soft lips.

He smiles back, them both sharing an intimate few seconds before Rafe frowns and shakes his head, coughing away the moment. He reaches for his helmet before placing it ontop Bella’s head.

“You know that I love you right?” He asks, hands wrapped under the helmet whilst he struggles to clip it up. She managed a small nod as she watched his concentration, his tongue slightly visible through his lips as his brows furrowed.

//

“Doing up someone else’s helmet especially when we’ve just shared a deep conversation, is difficult a’ight? Don’t judge me for that shit.”

//

“And I do care about you..” He mumbles through struggle, not meaning for it to sound as quiet as it did. Again she nods, placing a hand to Rafe’s that was sat beside her neck; his face mere centimetres from her own.

“And I don’t ever wanna lose you..” He removes his hand, his voice now a quiet whisper as he hooks a leg over the seat of the bike; pulling her closer to him, he lifts her legs over his to get her as close as possible, ignoring the way her thighs graze his crotch. “You understand?” He rubs his thumbs against her bare thighs, almost massaging them as once again, their faces lay not even an inch away from one another.

She watches his fingers as she nods for the third time, “Yeah..” enjoying the contact.

“Then dont forget it..” He watches her eyes for a moment, as he could make out a smile lifting her cheeks. It creates a smile on his own before he places a hand on the back of Bella’s head, pulling her closer to press a kiss to her helmet. His hands grip her thighs firmly as he leans his head on hers, “All I want is for you to be happy.. and I’m gonna try my best to be better for you okay..? I promise..” He speaks gently and informatively, accentuating each other word to drill his point into her.

He lifts his gloved pinky causing the tear-stained girl to giggle, salty tears shimmering across her skin as she links her finger with his.

“I love you always Rafe Cameron..” her soft but muffled words caused a small laugh to leave Rafe’s mouth as he places his hands on either side of her helmet, taking her eyes into his own as he lifts her chin.

“I love you way more than you’ll ever know Bella Brooks..” He rests his helmet against hers. They both sit in silence a moment, just sinking into each others words, each others touch.

He lifts his head and quickly shifts the moment as he smacks the top of her helmet with a heavy hand, causing a pain-filled groan to fall from the girls lips before she quickly returned the gesture. He tries keeping it cool, watching her a moment before shutting her visor.

He hooks his legs back around to face the front of the bike; reaching back to find her hands, he places them against his lower stomach. “You feel safe??” He questions loud enough that she could hear him over the revving of his bike.

She puts her thumb up to him as she rests her head to his back, closing her eyes and sinking into his body. He bites his lip, nodding to himself as he looks down at the fist of black fabric she was gripping onto. He smiles softly, a rare occurrence for the boy, before chuckling loudly. The feeling, the thought. Everything about the moment. He had his girl back and he didn’t care who knew. He was happy and he didn’t care to show it.

He quickly sped off down the road to the Island Club. The cameramen all getting the sign from Ryan that they left and soon following behind.

//

“She’s all about my safety, that kid.” He laughs, “Wan’ing me to wear gloves and shit. She even begged for the whole thing cos she heard about an accident one time. But I refused cos the only time I’m riding is with her and I take it slow for her.”

“But you two are okay now?”

“Well yeah obviously? Told you we always are. We’re never apart for more than a day at most.” He chuckles, shrugging his shoulders as a hand rakes through his hair.

“Does it not bother you how quickly she accepts you back?”

He frowns, eyes locking onto Ryan’s, “What- why would it? We’re friends that’s just what happens?”

“Okay Rafe..” Ryan stops the conversation short but Rafe hits breaking point. The sarcastic tone caused him to scrunch his fist, banging it against his forehead as he tries to hold back from blowing up.

“Mmm no. What do you mean?” He rasps, his eyes darkening as he doesn’t look him in the eye.

“I just..” Ryan coughs, “I just feel like with a girl like her it means more than just, ‘you said sorry we’re okay now’.”

Rafe looks back at him, his face softening as his brows furrow. He leans against his knees as his palm meets his face a moment.

“Look man we’re fine okay? Just.. don’t ruin that f’me. Please.” He forces softly before up and leaving.

/

“Topper while I’ve got you here alone, could you explain to me why Bella’s so easy to come back to him.”

He snorts, “You mean this morning?” Ryan nods, a small grin tugging at his lips, “Yeah uh.. I think I’d get in trouble if I told the truth you know man.”

“You can ask her if you-“ He began to gesture towards the group a few tables behind them.

“Not by her.”

“By?”

“Callum. You know, her super dicky, overprotective brother who thinks he’s always right, Callum? Yeah that one.”

“He wont find out you’ve said this.”

“Until he watches the show of course.” Topper interjects, cutting it plainly.

“It’s not coming out for a week, atleast, Topper and we’ll just make sure he doesn’t know that alright? The audience would want to know.”

Topper sighs, rolling his eyes as he begins to nod, his tongue shoving into the inside of his cheek, “Yeah okay fine um. It’s because-“

//

“She’s a Pogue.”

Rafe and Bella make it to the club. He helps her off his bike as he takes off her helmet for her. “Thank you.” She bubbles, smiling as she watches his every move. “I like the shirt, Rafey.” Her cheeks redden, watching as he stands back up, a grin spread across his face.

“With no family.”

“Yeah? Knew you would princess.” He nips her nose with his finger.

“Are you not hot? Its boiling today and-“

“Is that even a question Bells look at me!” He expresses, arms out wide as a chuckle falls from his lips whilst he watched her expression. She stares at him, a brow raised as an unimpressed laughed slips from her mouth.

“No money.”

“Shut up.” She whines, rolling her eyes before taking his hand. “I’m sure there’s spare clothes in the back!” They head inside, Rafe allowing and enjoying the action; Bella swings their arms back and forward, skipping along to keep up with Rafe’s fast pace. His eyes never leave her as she smiles and doesn’t care for anything other than the two of them, not caring to be seen acting like a child. And Rafe secretly loved it.

“If it weren’t for Ward she’d be living on the fucking streets.”

/

“So there’s just some spare uniforms but they’ll suit you! I mean you practically live in polos and shorts so-“

“Right, necessary?”

She snorts. He snatches the clothes out her hand with an eye roll before going over to the other side of the room.

“If she doesn’t speak to Rafe, there’s no point in speaking to us.”

The room wasn’t well lit for a place like a country club. It was like a small staff room but was also used for storage. One wall was covered in mirrors and sinks with a few cubicles shoved in the back near Rafe. The extra space was used for a couple chairs, and shelves for spare glasses and alcohol.

Bella begins to undress herself, starting with her top too big for her that it was obvious it wasn’t actually hers.

“If she doesn’t speak to Rafe, Callum gets involved.”

Rafe pulls on the shirt, catching a glimpse of Bella in the mirror as she slides down her shorts. He coughs, frowning at himself but not being able to help himself from the view.

“She doesn’t speak to Rafe and Ward gets pissed off.”

The same happens to her, she looks up and catches Rafe watching her which causes her eyes to widen. “What?? Have I got something on me?” She asked oblivious as hell as she inspected her almost naked body in the mirror.

“No no sorry just.. got distracted..” he mumbles, turning away slightly as he fiddles with the zipper of his shorts.

Bella’s instincts kick in once again as she jogs over immediately, wearing nothing but her underwear, “Are you okay?” She turns him towards her as she places a hand to his chest. He hums, sucking in a breath as he turns away.

“If Bella makes Ward mad at Rafe in any way she never lets it down.”

She watches him a moment, still not understanding what’s up his ass. She hooks her arms around his neck, pressing her body against him firmly as she nestles her head into his neck. The tightness of her grip being a sign to Rafe that she needed this hug more than she’ll ever let on.

“He’s the last person you’d want on your back.”

He takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes as his arms take her body into his own, his hands perfectly placed on the middle of her back. He places a kiss to her shoulder before resting his head against hers.

“He has the money and he has the power to do as he pleases.”

They stand there for a few minutes. In silence. But it wasn’t a horrible silence, it was peaceful. Safe. Bella hums against his ear, smiling to herself as she enjoys the embrace, the contact.

“You okay Bells..?” He whispers softly, a rare occurrence for the boy, not letting go and not lifting his head.

You could hear her smile as she lets out a quiet breath, “Yeah.. now I am..”

He began to feel guilty for his thoughts, knowing this isn’t the time and maybe it never was. His eyes well, thinking about last night. About Callum. About the way she looked and the way she struggled for air. His grip tightens unbeknownst, arms as far round her body as they could possibly reach as he tucks his eyes into her shoulder.

“It’s just easier and safer for Bella to give in and accept Rafe’s apologies, because if not?”

“Are you okay RayRay..?” He nods against her arm, any word that left his mouth would only set off the waterfalls. Her lips pull as she rests her head closer to his, her feet numbing but not caring as her hand reaches up to lay against his head, her nails gently scratching circles along his neck.

She needs me. “She won’t have a family.”

He needs me.

How could I be so stupid, she’s never needed me more. “She won’t have a job.”

I’m such an idiot, he’s always needed me.

She’s lonely, so lonely.. and I’m partly to blame, how could I let it get this bad..? “And she won’t have Rafe.”

He’s struggling, so bad.. I don’t understand how I never noticed..

A slam of a door interrupts their thoughts, Rafe immediately stepping infront of her as he shoves on her, his old shirt to cover up atleast some of her.

“Back to square one..”

“Oh my god honey you’re okay..” The familiar voice causing both of them to look over, Bella peering past his shoulder. The older man steps over, pushing past Rafe as he pulls Bella into his chest tightly. “God I’m so so sorry.. I heard what happened sweetheart.. are you okay..?” She shakes her head against his chest, but sucks in a breath as she lifts herself from his grasp quickly.

Its Ward isn’t it Rafe..

She looks up at the boy, noticing the way he avoids watching, distracting himself with the spare glasses on one of the storage shelves, rubbing his finger along all the rims. She frowns.

“Bella everything okay? You can come home if you’d like?” He grazes his fingers over he cheek, pushing back a strand of her.

She shakes her head as his words caught Rafe’s attention. “No that’s okay.. Callum will kill me if he finds out I’ve skipped two days in a row.” She snorts, rubbing her neck with her palm as she lightly tugs at her skin.

“I can sort that honey.” He rubs her arm, his thumb doing circles against her.

“No don’t worry. I’ll be okay. I have Rafe!” She smiles at Rafe as her words attract his eyes, him smiling softly back at her; nodding as an almost ‘thank you’. “Okay.. well, I’m sure he’ll look after you and, any problems you call me okay?”

“I will dont worry!” She smiles as he places a kiss to her head; her smile slowly fading as he completely ignores his son, walking out the club as if he weren’t even there.

Bella scoffs, eyebrows dipping before turning to her friend. “Rafe I..”

“It’s not your fault.. Hey! don’t we have tables to set up?” He brightens his voice, smiling as he hooks an arm around her neck.

“Yeah.. yeah we do..” She agrees gently, accepting his want to move on; resting her head against his shoulder as her arm takes his waist.

She finishes getting dressed, pulling up her skirt as he helps her with her apron in the mirror. She notices they’re wearing the same colours as he was borrowing the spare uniform, “Hey look Rafe we match!” She bubbles, pointing at the two of them, his hands lingering on her back a little too long before patting down the tie and looking up at them in the mirror; his arms wrapping around her waist, head on her shoulder, “Yeah.. we do..”

She smiles softly but couldn’t help a small tug at her brow as there was still a level of concern roaming the air.

Before she knew it her hair was out her face, Rafe lifted it up into a handheld pony. “Wanna slick it back or it alright like that?” She was mesmerised by his actions, not realising he was waiting for an actual answer until she notices him watching her in the mirror.

“Oh! Um. No Rafey it’s perfect thank you..” She blushes, admiring, as Rafe slides a hairtie from his wrist and gently wraps it around her hair; grabbing his hat from across the room just to put it ontop her head, making her lips pull once again.

Her eyes sparkle as he presses a kiss to the back of her neck, “Perfect..” He mutters, shutting his eyes as his body relaxes a moment. Quickly, he stands back up and squeezes her head, “Let’s go!”

/

They leave the back room, Bella taking his hand and tugging. “Hm?”

“I love you Ray..” She smiles, a kiss placed to the boys forehead.

He watches her eyes a moment, as they stared up at him, his lips pulling into a gentle smile. His hand finds the back of her head, pulling her in to place a kiss to her head in return. “I love you more Bee.” She hums as he turns away, “Not true.” Her words cause his head to swing round, brow raised as he smirks, “Oh we doing that are we?”

She giggles, blushing lightly as she plays with her fingers behind her back, “Maybe..”

He chuckles from his chest, walking over to her which causes her to step back with each of his footsteps. She could tell from a mile away, his plan.

She turns on her heel darting for one of the tables as he chases her round each one. Chairs being thrown to the floor as tables scratch along the wood; the room filled with giggles and deep laughter as they play around. Him very obviously faster than her but letting her stay ahead to keep the game going.

As she gets herself stuck in a corner, he cackles devilishly, ‘playing the part well’ in her words. She smirks, knowing there’s no way out as he jumps for her, lifting her by her legs to throw her over his shoulder; a shriek falling from her lips.

He laughs as she grips onto the material of his shorts, trying to pull her way down him but failing miserably as her strength didn’t even meet half of his. His flexed bicep curled around her thighs as he carries her back over to the bar, setting her down effortlessly beside the alcohol as he pecks her nose with his fingers, “Better luck next time princess.”

She growls breathily, crossing her arms as she pouts like a child. Her actions causing him to snort as he ruffles her hair. “Cmon ‘Kid’ we got a club to run!” He enjoys his words a little too much as he chuckles to himself, walking off to take the rest of the chairs down.

“I’m not a kid, asshole.” Bella spits, Rafe immediately taking her eye with a laugh and a raise in his brow.

“Woah woah hey, you’re too young to be using that language here, don’t you think ‘kid’?” He smirks, watching as her eyes darken and she huffs a breath. She rolls her eyes going over to the other side of the room to arrange the tables; turning back around to give Rafe a dark glare after he decided to laugh at her once more.

//

“So Rafe what’re you doing here today? Since I didn’t get a chance to ask earlier!”

“Well I’m just here to help out. Whenever Bella has a shift on her own I offer to help, it means I get to see her all day and it gives me something to do! It also means she’s in a better mood when we get back.” He chuckles to himself, a hand running through his bangs. “Normally the others wouldn’t come but somedays they do.”

“Which do you prefer?”

“If I’m telling the truth I prefer when it’s just me and Bells. We barely get time alone with Callum and shit so when we do we make the most of it you know. And being here is one of the only times we are by ourselves. It’s nice though I enjoy spending time with her. It reminds me of when we were younger!”

“What’d you get up to?”

“Nothing! Thats the thing. We used to just sit on the piers or the boat and just talk. And obviously back then Callum wasn’t so obsessed with her so we had way more time together. I miss it to be honest, it’s why we do everything we can to get extra time by ourselves!”

/

“Care to give your opinions on this mornings, I don’t know how to put it um.. tension-fest!”

“You really gotta call it that?”

/

“You mean with me and Rafe?”

“Yes that’s exactly what I mean miss Brooks. How’re you doing? How is HE doing?” He asked sincerely, genuine concern filling the air which she noticed quickly; evident by the way her shoulders drop and her face warms.

/

“Yes I do. Now Rafe we’d just like an explanation for what’s happening. Catch us up!”

He sighs, rolling his eyes as he turns back to watch the rest of his group laughing and talking. He grunts, “Fine. Um.. I just, I don’t know. I’m just worried about Bella is all. Feel like I’m not putting in my full 100% for her at the moment and right now? I feel like she really needs me.”

/

“Umm.. I’m good thank you! I’m just worried about Rafe. I mean he seems really off recently and I feel bad because I realised today that it’s not about me at all. And my little outburst last night kinda didn’t help. I just want to know he’s happy but it’s difficult when he won’t talk to me.”

/

“I just wanna make sure she’s happy you know, but she don’t talk to me about Callum. Or anything for that matter.” His face was turned away from the camera, his eyes glued to his best friends figure as she bounced against the floorboards with the sweetest smile across her face. “I don’t really know anything about her no more.”

/

“We used to be way closer. Like we never had these stupid petty fights, we just talked to each other and everything was perfect. But I guess getting older makes things more difficult. And not everything lasts forever. We’re growing apart and I don’t ever want to believe it, but sometimes, it’s hard not to.”

/

“I just feel like the past few years have been different and I’m partly to blame. I know that for sure. The other half? Could be anyone on this island, I couldn’t tell you. But all I know is that the most I can do is be there for her.”

/

“I’m pretty sure it’s because of Ward. I’m growing up which means I need him more, and Rafes growing up which means he needs him less. But if you really asked us both. We’d tell you that’s not what we want. And I fear that Ward will forever fail to see that. So the most I can do is show Rafe that no matter what, I’m always here for him. Because if not? I don’t know.. I don’t want to know that’s for sure! But all I do know is that it won’t be good, for anyone.”

/

“On a lighter note, you two seemed really happy after your little moment in the back room.”

“Hm..” Bella hums, smiling as she twirls her fingers into each other. “Yeah.. we have our moments. And when we do we REALLY have our moments! I mean if you ask me he was playing the part pretty well don’t you think?” She snorts, looking back at him with a soft smile. “I really do love him Ryan. And I know he feels the same way, it’s why I just want him to be okay, you know?”

“I do know Bella.. and I know you enough to know that you’ll figure it out. I believe in you.”

“So do I!” The sandy blonde wraps his arm around Bella, “So. Do. I.” He nudges his head into hers, causing her to smile; her brows furrowing.

“Topper what do you-“

“I know what you’re on about Bells, I see it too. Both the feelings part and the emotions part. And I believe you can fix it. Because you’re Bella Brooks and none of us would trust anyone else with a situation like this.”

She lets go of him, smiling gently as she nods, “Thank you Top. I always know I have you to rely on.”

“What’re friends for huh?” She giggles, pulling him into a tight hug.

/

“Hey uh Ryan?” Rafe turns back to take his focus once more.

“Rafe.” He smiles in return.

“You uh.. between you and me.” Rafe steps closer, leaning over his shoulder to whisper into his ear, “You got that footage of her and Top last night? Asking for a friend..”

He stands back up, Ryan flashing him a wink as a small smirk tugs at his lip, “We might have. Come speak to us later okay? I’ll see what we can do.” Ryan pats Rafe’s shoulder.

“Yeah uh.. thanks! Mr um.. Ryan, sir!” He stutters with a soft smile, before quickly returning to his friends.

Ryan takes a moment to appreciate the little moment of genuineness that came from the boy. Having heard and witnessed things so different, that small kindness was enough to change his view on the Camerons son.

/

“Don’t even get me started Sir.” Topper rolls his eyes, slumping into the seat opposite as he realised how long he’s being kept for. “I mean, they both adore each other. Callum adores Bella and vice versa too. Or should I say did. To all of them. Did. You see, a few years ago something happened, don’t ask what because fuck knows. But when the said ‘something’ happened, Callum, Rafe, Ward, Sarah. Everybody me and Bella knew had changed. And not in a good way. Callum fell into the drug hole, Rafe resorted to violence; well more than usual. Ward became unbearable in every way possible and Sarah became distant with everyone. Neither me nor Bella know what happened but as far as we’re concerned, nothing will ever be the same as it was 3 years ago. Thats what’s wrong. Thats what’s always been wrong. Since the day there was ever something wrong between them all. That’s what their issue is with each other and neither of them will bring it up because they don’t know what they’re bringing up. Because NOTHING HAPPENED.”

Topper stops himself quickly after his outburst. Sitting back in his chair and coughing to clear the air. “Sorry um. I just mean that they’ll never fix this because nothing ever happened. Meaning there’s nothing to fix. It’s just the way life is from now on. And unfortunately we all have to just live with it.”

//

“I’m getting sick of the cameras now Bells.” Rafe huffs, his head held up by his hands whilst his eyes followed Bella behind the bar. She hums, wanting him to continue but too busy making him a drink to look. “Like yeah alright don’t care we have an episode to ourselves but it’s when there’s just the ones sat at home or there’s just a guy fucking following me around shoving a camera in my face it’s like I don’t give a shit enough to want to do this anymore.” He exaggerates his words as his eyes glance over to Ryan and his crew who sat on one of the empty tables furthest from them.

Bella frowns, turning to him as she places the glass in his hand, “I thought you were excited! You wanted to do this no?” Her expression contorted as she waited for him to finish his drink, thoroughly confused and slightly concerned for the boy.

He shrugs, putting his glass back down with a clink as it hit the tabletop. “Nah, it seemed interesting at first but it’s literally just like nothings changed except there’s more people and shit like I’d rather not, you know.” His eyes follow up to hers, swirling the remainder of his drink around in his cup as he watches her face.

“Have you not spoken to Ward about it? Maybe they could turn some cameras off or something?” She rests her hands to the edge of the bar, helping herself to stand up to his height whilst he was on the bar stool.

Rafe snorts, rolling his eyes as he looks back down at the brown liquid. “Like he’d do that shit for me Bells! It’s fine I don’t care just when they ask me shit in the middle of my day that I don’t care about it’s like just shut the fuck up.” His eyes droop, breathing out a heavy sigh as he rests his head back on his free hand.

“Rafe..”

“Hm?” She takes his glance, his focus now moved back to her as she watched him with pure worry.

“Are you okay? Relax..”

He watches her a moment, before properly taking in her words. He sits up, dropping his hand to the bar as he itches the back of his neck with the other, “Sorry.. haha..” He laughs awkwardly, trying to keep himself composed, not for the cameras but for Bella, “Just pissed off cos it feels like I can’t be myself. Like everything I do is being judged by everyone you know.”

Bella sighs, nodding along, “I know Rafe.. but the point of the show is that you be yourself! Since when did you, the Prince of Kildare island, care about what anyone said or thought anyways. Remember what you said to me the other night? They’re just cameras Rafe. It’s a stupid show.”

“Yeah yeah alright keep quoting me to me and I’ll fucking leave.” He points a finger at her causing her to snort.

“Haha bye bye then!” She pats her fingers to her palm as she waves him away. He hits her hand away, a smirk evident across his lips.

Bella pauses, smiling softly as she watches his smile grow. “You know.. you’re doing it now!”

“Huh? Doing what?”

“Being yourself on camera..”

Rafes brows raise, his smile softening as he nods, “Yeah cos you’re here! Its easier when you’re around, it’s when I’m at home with Cal or something and they’re just watching us. They don’t even ask for permission when they cut all this into the episodes you know that? They just pick and choose the best parts apparently!”

Her face drops almost instantly as she stands up, “What, you serious?? I thought they’d go through it with you after?”

“Nope! That’s why it’s such bullshit! I could say something so outrageous and they choose to put it in that everyone then hates me or wants me dead or some shit.” He speaks plainly, shrugging his shoulders along to his words.

“Rafe that won’t happen! I’m sure Ward gets a say atleast?” Her voice was louder now, serious.

He sighs, “Whatever. I don’t care-“

“Debatable..”

“Hey watch your mouth!” He spits playfully, slamming a hand to the wood beneath his arm as he points the other towards her.

She giggles, the sound putting a genuine smile to Rafe’s face as he roles his eyes.

The two kids share an intimate moment of silence before a vibration cuts it short. Bella’s eyes dart to Rafe’s pocket as he grabs out his phone.

“Is it my brother?” She asked worryingly, him quickly reaching out to hold onto her hand.

“No it’s Top. On the group.” His thumb caressed her skin as he read the messages, her peering over the bar to do the same. “It’s for you.”

As per usual the kids sent in screenshots of the messages. When I say the kids I mean purely Bella. After the day Rafe had we get all the blame and he wants nothing to do with us. Surprised? Not really.

Bella groans as she goes over to her phone, picking it up and rolling her eyes. Rafe laughing to himself quietly as he watches her over exaggeration to people who can’t even see her.

His eyes follow down to his phone as he awaits her response.

He chuckles, looking up at her with a raised brow, “Depends on what Bee?”

“Oh he knows.” She grins, bubbly and genuine. Another chime snatches their attention and the sight of the next sentence cause a squeal to leave her mouth. “Yay! Told you!”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head; enjoying the moment as her smile began to reappear - her inside smile.

Her face drops at the sound of another chime, Rafes eyes quickly darting down to his phone as he reads the new text. Bella’s attention shifts to Rafe who sat with his brows furrowed and his mouth agape. “Why.”

“Rafe..” She whimpers, stepping over.

“No why the fuck is he still here??” His sudden tone change causes Bella to flinch as her body began to warm; a tear shaken out of her as she sucks in a breath to keep herself contained.

She sighs as she brings her phone back up to her face, typing out a quick plain response.

“Whyre you defending him?” Rafe spits, snatching the phone, as he grimaces at her.

“I.. I just want it to be over.” Her voice was shaky and her lip wobbled. Her broken words causing Rafe to look up, his eye twitching.

“Rafe just leave it, it’s fine..”

“IT’S NOT- It’s not fine Bella..” He frowns, huffing a breath as he looks back down. A small whine falling from the brunettes lips as she watches his thumbs hit the letters with purpose.

“Stop.. you’ll make it worse..” She grabs the phone out his hand, cutting his message short before deleting it and quickly ending the conversation.

Rafe’s eyes don’t leave Bella’s as she sniffles, wiping her eyes with her knuckles. The panic and fear that sat evidently on her face only made Rafe feel worse. He furrows a brow, reaching out to her hand and shutting off the phone; her eyes scanning the messages over and over as her body refused to stop shaking.

“Bella.. hey. What’s going on? You don’t have to deal with him anymore. I can-“

“You can’t do anything Rafe.. I don’t want you to..”

“What?”

“He’s my brother.. people make mistakes.. I forgive him.”

“Bella you don’t have to do this.” He stands, reaching for her cheek but was held too late as she turned away.

“I do..”

“No you don’t! You can get rid of him. I can. Ward can! I don’t know. Bella-“

“Rafe you don’t understand!! Who’s going to look after him if I dont?”

He pushes his tongue to his cheek, scratching his brow as he walks round to her. Reaching for her arms. His hands travel down her skin to meet hers, “That’s not your job.” His voice softened, his thumbs running circles over her knuckles.

“But then whose is it?”

He watches her eyes as they find his. Awaiting a response but not receiving one because Rafe struggled to get anything to leave his mouth.

“Exactly..”

“Bella-“

“It’s fine Rafe. It’s always been this way, nothings changed. I’m okay..”

“It doesn’t have to be this way..”

“I don’t know any other way.” She pulls away, shrugging her shoulders; the first member of the club arriving with a friend, their conversation filling the room. Rafe watches her wipe away her tears, quickly dabbing her cheeks and straightening out her apron before plastering on a smile. She strolls over, taking their order and jotting it down on her notepad.

//

“That motherfucker is really getting on my fucking nerves. This stupid fucking rule is bullshit!!”

“Sorry Rafe what rule?”

“I..” His eyes widen, “No nothing no rule. What?” He laughs awkwardly.

“Rafe. What, rule?”

“Just some stupid rule Ward set a’ight? Don’t gotta know everything on this stupid show.”

/

“Topper do you know anything about this rule Ward has set for Rafe?”

“Uhm..” He hesitates, looking around for a distraction or a new conversation starter.

“Topper!”

“Yes! Yes sorry sir what?”

“The rule?”

“Uhm.. yeah uh. About that!” He coughs, his fingers raking his hair as he finally looks at Ryan, “It’s not just for Rafe. It’s for all of us. I uh.. actually sorry no I can’t say anything. Not this time.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not important?”

“But it is! Rafe’s upset and-“

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”

//

As the club filled up, Bella and Rafe gained more orders. The more orders, the busier they were. Rafe kept a smile on his face, doing his part and treating the members respectfully. Bella did the same, using her kind words and soft heart to keep the members happy. Them both taking it in turns to serve and bartend.

//

“Bella does this thing. She like, she puts on a play, you know. It’s like one minute she’s my best friend Bella Brooks; the next, she’s my best friend who’s always an absolute sweetheart who would do anything for anyone. Every little problem she had disappears and all that’s on her mind is making others happy. I know she’s always like that but you know what I mean, it’s just.. different! I’ve learnt to do the same. I mean it wasn’t hard, I had a good teacher!” He laughs under his breath, catching a glimpse of Bella across the room as a smile tugs at his lip.

“I can act for the camera, I can act to be what people want me to be. When I’m helping her work, I’m a good guy with a big smile. When I’m with my friends, I give no shits. Infront of the cameras I try to be cool. Different. Not myself. The other versions are parts of me that I hide away from certain people. This one isn’t me. I fake it. Because I know the real me won’t be as likeable. But I also know that the only opinion that matters.. is my best friend’s. When I’m around her, I’m myself. I don’t put on a play. I don’t hold my breath and puff out my chest and hope the moment goes by quickly. No. When I’m around Bella it’s like, everything’s okay. Like there’s no expectations on me to be a certain someone. I don’t have to act cool or mysterious or whatever. Because she knows that’s not me and she doesn’t care. She’s who I aspire to be. But I’m not her, I’m not the sweet guy who has a heart to give to everyone. And I never will be. Because that’s just not who I am. So I act. And that’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a good person.”

//

“Ayyyy there’s the lovebirds we missed so dearly!!!” Toppers arms fling open, very clearly stating his presence as the three boys take their places on the barstools.

“You two a’ight now?” Kelce questioned, eyeing the both of them.

“Depends..” Bella shrugs, trying her hardest to hold back the grin that pulled her cheeks.

Rafe chuckles, watching Topper as he rolls his eyes. He sighs, shoving a hand into his pocket, “Maybe.. I might of stopped on the way to get a few things.” He slams a few packets of sweets (sorry I’m British) onto the bar, enjoying the way the girl’s eyes lighten up.

“Yay! Okay yes we’re fine.” She snatched them away from the boys, stashing them under the countertop.

“Fine? Is that what we’ve come to Bee?” He asked playfully offended. A hand held to his chest as his mouth fell open.

She giggles, her eyes rolling towards him as her hands find her hips, “You know I didn’t mean it like that dickhead!”

He jerks an eyebrow, his smirk growing as he steps closer. The brunette quickly flinching and immediately apologising.

Bella’s attention is stolen by a grunt. Her focus turned to the boy beside her, head on the bar against his arms. She takes a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut before swallowing and shaking her head as reassurance, “Cal? You okay?”

Her brother lifts his head, eyeing her with a sheepish look, his face puffy and eyes reddened and dry. “Are you high??” She reaches for his face but her hand was quickly swatted away.

“Fuck off..” The taller boy grumbled as he slumped against his elbows.

Rafe goes to jump for the boy, quickly held back by Kelce who grabbed him over the bar. “Leave it..”

“But Cal you promised-“

“I know what I promised a’ight. Sometimes things just happen Bella you gotta understand that by now.” He throws a hand up in the air as his eyes dart to hers, quickly moving away as he frowns.

“I do Cal trust m-“

“With dad gone ‘n all!” He interrupts unnecessarily. Causing the girl to pause her sentence and step back. Bumping her body into her friends as he grabs ahold of her hips.

“I said I do okay!!!” She cries, trying her best to hold back her tears as she stares him down. The sensitive subject making it hard for her to keep all composure.

Rafe moves her figure out the way gently, “Dude just leave her alone??” Topper and Kelce both give each other the look before joining the stare down between the two boys.

“You ain’t her brother why don’t YOU leave her alone?” Callum slams a hand to the bar, standing up in the process. His tough facade being stopped away as he winces, gripping a hand to his head before placing himself back to his seat.

Bella holds Rafe back, shaking her head ‘no’ to suggest for him to stop. She passes the boy a glass of water, “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Nothing happened..” He takes a sip of the water loudly, his loss of all his senses making it heard to hear himself. “Just woke up like this..”

Bella frowns, looking between her other friends with a piercing glare as she squinted to try and force an answer from one of them, “You made him do it?” She asks calmly, not wanting to make assumptions with her lack of information but knowing they were with him the night previous.

“No Bells we told him not to!” Kelce reassures, Topper nodding along as his eyes never leave the Camerons son.

“Where’d he get it from??” She furrows her brows, her tone more serious now as she just wanted to understand the situation. Kelce and Callum’s gaze joined Toppers as Rafe’s didn’t leave Bella. “What-“

“Hey I’m not the one who promised!” Rafe defended himself, tossing his hands in the air guiltily as he almost pleaded for her trust.

Bella’s shoulders fall, a sigh leaving her throat as her eyes travel towards her brother. His figure lay limp against the bar as his eyes focus on a small dust speck. She goes over, a hand resting against the back of the boys head, “Are you okay..?”

All she got as a response was a small nod, enough of a response for her to smile. She reaches under the bar to grab out some antibiotics, opening his palm and placing them in gently, “Take them please..”

“Can we talk about-“ Topper begins.

“NO!!!” The others all shout in sync, wanting to stay off of the topics he’d bring up.

Bella stares at Callum, watching carefully as he swallows the pills down with some water.

“John B-“

“Topper!!! This ain’t about you bro.” Kelce nudges his arm, sighing as he’d had enough.

“You can all stop staring at me now..” Callum grumbles, finishing off his water as he looks up at Bella. Everyone quickly turning away to distract themselves with anything close. “Why’re you talking to me?”

The girl shrugged, “If you don’t ask then it never happened.”

He nods along, a smile pulling at his lip as he runs his finger along the rim of his glass.

“That pogue hasn’t got half the amount I do what’s her fucking deal?” They all groan, rolling their eyes towards the blonde boy.

Rafe snorts before speaking, “Better dick..”

The other three turn away, quickly trying to cover their snickers as they try their best to play it off. Topper raises a brow, his face instantly causing Rafe to burst out into laughter, leaning over the bar as he tries to steady himself.

Topper waits, watching them all as they don’t even bother to be sincere. He slumps onto his hand. “Top-“ Bella managed through a deep breath. Rafe’s eyes take hers, immediately both letting go once again; gathering the members’ attention as they collected stares.

“Top I.. uh..” She takes a deep breath, over exaggerating by a mile. Kelce snorts into his fist as Rafe smirks, scratching his nose to cover it. “You wanna talk about it?” She rushes out, pushing her lips together to stop anymore coming out.

“Not with you lot no.” Everyone looks over to him in offence, eyebrows jerked and faces tensed.

“Bit rude.” Kelce mumbles.

“Top it was funny.. we’re sorry.” Bella tries taking his hand, Topper hesitating before giving in.

“No we’re not..” Rafe snorts, earning himself a slap on the arm from the girl before she turns back to Topper.

Bella’s eyes quickly shoot up, the boys all frowning in confusion before looking over. Another member. She sighs, “We can talk in my break okay?” She smiles reassuringly as she runs her thumb along his hand before going round the bar.

She pauses midway to the men, turning back to the boys, “Don’t upset him, dickheads.” She waved a finger towards them before going off to take orders.

“Well that was just unnecessary!” Kelce throws his hands up with a furrow in his brow, Rafe snickering once again.

Whilst Bella and Rafe gain new orders, the other three enjoy their time alone. Talking about anything but the situations at hand: Topper and Sarah, John B and Sarah, Callum and Bella, and Rafe and Bella.

Ryan pulls Topper over for a chat.

//

"So uh.. The shirt worked for what, a total of ten seconds? Maybe less?" Topper snorts, shoveling a handful of sweets into his mouth.

Rafe scoffs, rolling his eyes as he snatches a handful for himself, "Yeah try an hour asshole. She made me change 'cos she thought I was too hot."

"Oh yeah she did.." Kelce smirks, raising an eyebrow which only causes Rafe's cheeks to redden and he snorts, "Fuck off.."

"HEY!!" A girls voice pierces through the air right as the packet of sweets is stolen from the blondes grasp, "Since when did I say you could have any??"

"Well tech'ic'lly.." The boy starts, mouth full of gummies to the point his words were mere mumbles, "They're 'ine 'cos I bo't 'em so.."

The other boys only grimace at his sounds, however the silence from behind him fills him with fear, causing him to turn his body round to be faced with a deathly stare. "Okay okay sorry they're all yours.. Please don't kill me."

The brunette stares at him a moment longer before a smirk tugs at her lips; she snorts before going round the bar to stand with her closer friend. He wraps an arm around her waist, leaning his head against hers.

"So Bells, when's your break?" Topper questions, reaching down under the bar to very obviously grab another packet before being swatted away with a whine.

"Now!" An unfamiliar voice answered. A girl around the boys' ages walks over, tying her apron around her waist and joining beside Bella.

"Oh my God Sofia you savior! Today's a busy one.." She moans, leaning forward to rest her head against the girl's shoulder.

"Hi Rafe.." The new girls voice softened, her cheeks blushing as her words fill the silence. Bella removes her head from her shoulder instantaneously, her shock joined by the boys' reactions. All their eyes shoot up to Sofia's, Topper chewing on a sweet slowly as he squints, Callum's brows furrowing deeper than his eyes as his tongue pokes against his cheek, and Kelce pulling out his phone to record the next few moments.

Rafe's lips tug, running a hand through his bangs as he chuckles, "Hey.."

The boys all join each other to stare him down; Bella's eyes not leaving the other girls. "Haven't seen you around in a while."

"Yeah I uh.. I've been dragged to do this show. Hard to do much when cameras are following ya' all the time." He laughs, his hand not having left his friends waist but his eyes definitely nowhere near hear figure.

"Ah! I see.. The fame getting to you already huh?"

He smiles, jerking an eyebrow at her quip, "You could say that."

Bella grits her teeth, the boys all still well occupied with surveying the situation. "Rafe I'm on break now!" She removes her apron, finally peeling her eyes away from her competition as she looks up at the boy with her big eyes.

He smirks, running a thumb along her hip, "Yeah I'm talking right now princess, why don't I meet you outside huh?" She glares at him a second, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from commenting on his suggestion.

Topper scoffs, stuffing more gummies into his mouth to keep himself quiet whilst Callum grunts, raising his brows as his eyes darken, holding himself back from standing up and dealing with him right then and there.

Bella doesn't respond, placing her apron on the bar before removing herself from the situation, dragging Topper by the arm off the stool and out the building. The other boys quickly follow behind, all gathering outside for a meeting.

Topper and Kelce both look at one another, exchanging small smirks before snickering, looking back up at the girl and flicking their imaginary hair off their shoulders, "Hiiiiii Rafeeee." They mock, dragging out their words in a whiny put-on voice, as they flick out their hands in the air in a girly manor.

Callum groans, "What's his fucking deal all of a sudden, thought you two were like glue or some shit?"

Bella shrugs, "Don't know, don't care. Why should I, It's not like we're together or anything." She mumbles through a deep sigh.

"No but Bella we all care. He clearly-"

"He's always liked her Top, there's no denying that. That's not my issue. It's just the way he acts like she's better than me."

"Is she?" Kelce questions, not understanding the severity of the situation for Bella.

Hers, along with Topper and Callum's eyes all dart up to him. Callum tilting his head slightly with a smirk, "What was that?"

"No I just mean-"

"It's okay Cal, he wouldn't be the only one to think so." Bella states, shrugging her shoulders. Her words did nothing but piss him off more, with Topper joining the equation by frowning and watching her with concern more than anything.

Kelce nudges her arm with his elbow, darting his eyes to behind the other two boys. She looks up at him before following his gaze, her eyes widening at the realisation. “Shit..” She mumbles, running past them quickly.

“JJ??” Callum spits, Topper and Kelce each taking an arm to hold him back.

“Dude you’re lucky she’s even talking to you right now, just leave it.”

“Hey ma!” JJ raises his arms to let her in, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly as he reciprocates the motion.

“Hey Jayj..” She mutters, nuzzling into his chest.

He frowns, “Bell’s?” She hums in response, not shifting from her position. “Everything okay?” He questioned due to the tightness of her hold.

“Yeah course.. missed you..”

“You sure?” She nods, causing JJ to push her off of himself, “Bells.. I know what’s been going on, John B filled me in. You’re not okay..”

She exhales, slumping her shoulders as she avoids eye contact. She opens her mouth to speak before a loud voice interrupts.

/

“There he is ladies and gentlemen!” Callum expresses, throwing out his arms to introduce the boy walking out the club, “Still got the stick up his ass by any chance?”

“What’s your fucking deal now? And where’s Bella?” He ignores Callum’s remarks as he searches around, Topper and Kelce quickly shifting their bodies to cover the view. Rafe frowns at the two boys, “Dude why’d you blow her off like that?” Callum asks with genuine concern coating his words, taking Rafe’s focus; now the other two boys both frowning, confused why he’s almost protecting Bella when usually the sight of another Pogue would set him off.

Rafe scoffs, turning to Callum with a darkened glare, "How was that blowing her off?? It's not the worst thing I could've done, you would clearly know!"

Callum shoves his tongue to his cheek, laughing breathily as he jerks a brow, "Wanna say that again, pal?"

"No I wanna find my girl."

"She'd be inside, I'm sure you would clearly know that." Callum chuckles, followed by a few snickers from the boys beside them. Their noises directing Rafe's deadly stare towards them before it suddenly softened; hardening again once he realises, pushing past the boys.

"Ay Pogue! This ain't your side of the island!!" He yells, making his way over to the two younger kids.

"Rafe??" Bella stops him quickly by pushing a hand to his chest.

He stares at the blonde a moment longer before his eyes move down to the brunette, "We don't have long left of your break Bell's just come play yeah?"

Her brows dip, nose scrunching as she steps back to place herself beside JJ, "We're a little busy right now 'princess' I'll meet you over there." JJ smirks, hiding it by ducking his head behind Bella

Rafe's lips pull, pushing his tongue to the inside of his mouth as he nods, "A'ight fine look I'm sorry 'kay? Now can we go?"

Bella shrugs, "Depends.."

Rafe frowns, looking between the two as he held back from mentioning JJ's hand against her bare skin beneath her shirt, "I'll pick you up somethin' on the way back a'ight. C'mon.." He reaches out a hand to grab hers, Bella quickly pulling back as she lets out a quiet 'nuh uh'.

"What? That's not it?" His brows furrow, body tensing as he tried his hardest to stay calm, the vein in his forehead growing more noticeable which pulls a laugh from the other blonde.

"Nope."

"Look Bella we-" He checks his watch, sighing through his words.

"Why'd you do it?"

"What?" He questions, oblivious to her meaning.

"Why do you always act like everyone's better than me?"

"I don't?"

"Wrong answer man.." Kelce mumbles as Topper distracts Callum from the conversation. JJ's eyes glued to Bella as he already noticed her tearing up.

//

"She's one of the most sensitive people I know. And don't get me wrong it's for good reason, I've never known someone have more shit happen to them then Bella fucking Brooks. It's just whenever anything or anyone makes her even remotely upset she starts to cry and I want to fucking break them. Bella being happy is the only thing I want in life and she isn't getting that by living with that prick, Callum. I mean look, Rafe makes her unbelievably happy but he's just an asshole and sometimes she realises that, and I'm glad she's not hidden from it or fucking hell would she be in for a fucking ride."

"I'm guessing you don't like the Cameron's very much then?"

"Well to be honest it's not that I don't like them, I mean they do make her happy and I love seeing her happy, like they've genuinely changed her life, you know. But me? Nah they fucking hate me." He laughs to himself, pushing his hair out his face and placing his hat back ontop his head. "So why should I like them if they don't like me huh? Any explanation would be appreciated."

//

“Okay Rafe.. JJ wants to talk, I’ll come join you in a minute!” She puts on a smile, tapping his hand gently before taking JJ’s and pulling him to the side.

Rafe’s eyes widen, just standing there and watching them.

//

“She does that a lot. Not wanting to continue the argument so she just ends it on a light note. But it’s like, I’d rather her argue back and tell me what’s going on in her head, you know. I never mean for it to end up an argument but sometimes I just raise my voice and then get frustrated at myself so it becomes like this cycle. I don’t blame her for not carrying it on and ignoring me but then it just makes me feel worse. I fucking hate that she just lets everything go, like no shout in my face and tell me I’m a horrible person, I deserve it!!”

//

Whilst JJ questions Bella about the previous night and her wellbeing, Rafe and the others grab their golf clubs and set up for the first hole.

/

“Okay sorry ready!” Bella skips over, hooking her hand into Rafe’s which causes him to look down suddenly.

“Everything okay..?” He whispers against her ear and she nods a response.

Bella steps closer to the T, placing her ball and lining up her club. Rafe watches her every move, his eyes skimming over every part of her body yet they didn’t reflect a look of desperation, but a look of guilt.

In Rafe’s mind Bella wore her uniform well: a black mini skirt, with a white half buttoned shirt tucked in. A small white apron wrapped round her waist and a pencil stuck behind her ear. Black maryjanes and white knee high socks. Her hair in a high ponytail with one of Rafe’s SnapBacks keeping it out her face.

She looks perfect. So why am I not happy?

She lifts her club to swing, the boys silent. A quiet ‘clink’ was heard before the boys started cheering and screaming.

The others take their turn until it was time to split off to find their balls. Rafe and Bella’s landed fairly close as they were the best in group.

“Dude she’s fucking good..” Kelce mutters to Topper as they look around for a white ball.

“Tell me about it. You think she’s getting private lessons?” Topper smirks, nudging Kelce’s side with his elbow as he raises his brows.

Kelce snickers, “From Rafe? Yeah wouldn’t surprise me..” He snorts, looking over at the two; Bella stood beside him, looking up at him sweetly as she slowly swayed back and forth. Rafe smirking down at her, hand against her waist.

“Right.. yeah well that’s a yes.” They both laugh, turning away instantly as Rafe catches their eye.

A loud yell was heard coming from inside the club, catching everyone’s attention before Rafe’s realisation kicks in. “What is it?” Bella questioned, concern coating her words as she frowns, grabbing a hold of his hand to stop him from walking away.

“Stay here please.” He orders, yanking himself from her grip and jogging back over to the club entrance. Bella’s eyes follow round to meet the other boys, them nodding to reassure her as she follows after him.

“Ayyyy princess! What you doing ‘ere?” Another unfamiliar face spoke, holding it his hands towards the girl which only caused Rafe to frown, swinging back his head.

His brows furrow, face tensing as he pushes Bella backwards by her arms, “I told you to stay over there..” He gravels softly, only concerned for her and nothing more.

“But it’s only Barry, Ray. It’s not like he’s gonna kill me.” She giggles, shrugging her shoulders as she gives a wave to the other man.

“You don’t know that..” His words don’t change her mind, evident by the way she doesn’t budge a centimetre, “Just.. stay close ‘Kay?”

“Okay!” She bubbles, taking his arm as they step back over to him, “Hey Bear!”

“Hey sweetheart. Your boyfriend here’s in serious trouble you know that?”

“What why??”

“He ain’t paid me back, it’s been two weeks and your man is being stingy.”

“Dude I don’t have the money right now!”

“Yeah well times up I’m afraid, country club. Give me some shit now or you gonna regret it later aight? Ya understand?”

“How much?” Bella questions, letting go of Rafe’s arm.

“It don’t matter Bee stay out of it.”

“I can get you some money Bear! I-“

“Bella!!” Rafe grabs her arm, pulling her back into him forcefully which causes her to whine. “What’d I say? Stay, out of it!”

“But Rafe he’s gonna hurt you.. you can pay me back!”

“He ain’t gonna pay you back princess! Look you ain’t got the money now, I’ll be back, 12 o’clock on the dot. You still ain’t got it? We gotta problem.”

“I’ll sort it alright? Just, I need more time! The money ain’t come in yet!!”

Bella hands Barry a piece of paper, a signature written at the bottom. “Take it. I don’t know. Just leave him be.” Her voice was shaky and quiet.

“Bella..”

“Rafe let me do this for you. I don’t want you to get in trouble again. It’s better to just leave it. Please..” She widens her doe eyes, looking into his own as she juts her bottom lip.

He sighs, looking over at Barry who was smirking down at the piece of paper, “Alright fine Bee.. but this ain’t okay.”

Her lips pull into a soft smile, her head bobbing, “I know, but neither is you getting hurt.” Her words cause Rafe to smile, him admiring her features as he pushes a loose hair from her face.

“Aww you two lovebirds want some space or what?”

“Fuck off Barry you got what you want!”

Barry leaves and Rafe and Bella carry on their game of golf; Bella and Callum being the competitive two who keep heckling one another across the course. Bella however had to leave early to finish her shift so once the boys were done they seated themselves on a spare table inside.

Sofia took care of their table, which earned the boys a few stares and glances every once in a while from their friend. Rafe being sure to keep his distance and keep his eyes to himself, throwing a few snarky complaints every other sentence.

Bella got a message from Ward to say that they’ve gone out for dinner so the house is theirs for the night. Bella and Rafe bring their clothes home with them and on the way they pick up some take out; taking it out onto the Druthers and enjoying their night with the others.

“Ward is gonna kill me..” Bella whispers to Topper, leaning over the seat to get closer whilst her brother was inside. Rafe’s hand was glued to her back, his fingers hooking into her bikini strap to keep her balance whilst she leans forward.

“What why..??” The blonde scrunched his face.

“Because..! I gave Barry all my money and I haven’t paid him back for the house yet..” Topper’s eyes widen, choking on his beer.

“Bella! That was like two days ago he asked for that shit! What’re you gonna do..??”

“There’s nothing I can do..”

“Bee my dad ain’t gonna get mad at you for anything now is he? He ain’t who she’s worried ‘bout Top.” Rafe’s eyes follow inside to meet her brother’s figure as he makes his way out to sit beside Kelce.

“What?” He furrows his brows, watching Bella’s figure.

“Nothin’.” Rafe answers, pulling her up by her strap to make it less obvious to Callum what she’s talking about. She rests back against Rafe’s bare chest, nestling her head into his neck as she closes her eyes.

Topper reaches for Bella’s leg, tapping lightly which causes her to look down at him, one eye open. “I’ll sort it out..” He mouths, giving her a wink before sitting back not waiting for her response.

“Tired girl hm..?” Rafe mutters, placing a kiss to the top of her head as his hand gently rubs against her waist.

Callum rests his head against the chair arm, his arms under his head as he rests his eyes also. Topper watches the ocean and Kelce plays on his phone whilst Rafe enjoys the comfort of his friend’s body against his own.

The land grew darker as the stars appeared like little specs in the sky. The water sat calm against the boat as the temperature cooled. The boys made their way back inside and Rafe carried Bella to the couch.

//

“You can’t tell me that there isn’t something between them Topper.”

“Oh no if you ask me he’s head over heels for her. Don’t tell him I said that..”

“What about her?”

“Well that’s the thing, if you’ve watched the show back you can clearly see she’s like that with everyone. But then again she does have a soft spot for Cameron so I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

//

Like Topper said, this next clip may be an answer to Ryan’s question, but then again maybe not.

Everyone was asleep in the living room, it was now around 2 am and Bella had just awoken; stretching out her body as she scouts the area, quickly noticing someone’s missing. She sits up, looking around as her fingers come up to rub her eyes, trying to clear her vision.

She takes a deep breath as she squeezes her fists together, going round the couch. A light from outside catches her gaze and she follows it to the glass doors where the boy is viewable.

Her brows furrow, her body now covered by one of Rafe’s baggy tops which she assumed he put on her when they came in. She quietly and slowly opens the door, her eyes stuck to the other sleeping boys as she makes her way outside.

Rafe sat himself on a pool chair, his arms behind his head whilst he watched the stars in the sky. After everyone had gone to bed he had spoken to Ryan about the clips from last night; not being able to sleep afterwards so he decided to keep to himself by the pool.

//

“So Rafe you wanted to watch that clip with Bella and Topper from last night?”

“Uh..” He scratches the back of his head, eyes avoiding contact, “Yeah if that’s a’ight..”

“Yeah of course Rafe! Sit down we’ll pull it up now.” Ryan sets up Wards computer so Rafe could watch without any interruptions whilst he places himself in the office chair.

/

“Bells can you tell me what’s going on? I know this isn’t the first you’ve felt like this.”

She sighs, placing herself onto her bed whilst she slides off her shorts to replace them with some pyjama bottoms. “Top it’s fine..”

“No I’m serious. You said you were feeling better!” Topper sits beside Bella, passing her the top that was thrown to the edge of her bed.

She looks down, fiddling with the straps of her vest, “I guess.. I don’t know.. things just never got better..”

“What things? You mean-“

“Everything Top.. with Rafe. With Callum. Even with Ward I don’t know.. it’s just never the same as it used to be and I don’t understand whyyy!!!” She cries, shoving her vest over her eyes to cover her face whilst she let tears stain the fabric.

“Hey hey Bells c’mere.” He reaches his arm round her waist, pulling her into his lap as she curls her legs up to her chest, sniffling into his shirt.

/

“You alright Rafe?”

“Yeah fine.” He couldn’t understand if he was jealous or upset. Either way he hated how he felt and despite wanting to know what happened he didn’t want to carry on watching.

/

“Top I want it to stop.. I want it all to just stop. Why can’t it just be like it used to.. why do they have to change..” She sniffles, stuttering and gasping at every other word. “I miss my best friends Tops.. I want my best friends back..!” She whines, dying for air as her sobs become too uncontrollable.

“Bella I wish I could do something to help but unfortunately they’re both too far gone to change.. I’m always here though I promise.. you can always come stay with me if all else fails..”

“You’re just saying that Top.. Cos Sarah dumped you..”

“I mean it Bells, I’ve always thought of you like a little sister and nothings gonna change that. I’d give you the world if I could!” He strokes her hair, moving it away from her face as his other hand rubs against her back. “I promise that I’d never leave you.. and I can promise that even if it seems like the most impossible thing, Rafe does care about you more than anything, we all know that.. don’t give up on him Bells.. he needs you just as much as you need him. And if anyone can fix this mess it’s you! And I believe that with every piece of me.”

She sits up, her lips pulling as she wipes her face dry, “Thanks Top.. you’ve always been so sweet to me.. but could you stay? Just ‘till I fall asleep? I don’t wanna be alone..”

“Of course I can..” He smiles, speaking gently as he tucks her hair behind her ear. She offers him a smile before tucking herself into bed; Topper leaning down and placing a kiss to her forehead before sitting beside her bed, holding her hand tightly and muttering little reassuring words to help her feel safe.

/

“Thanks Top..” Rafe mutters to himself before quickly exiting the room.

//

“Rafe..?” Bella spoke quietly, “What’re you doing out here?” Rafe’s head quickly turns towards her, smiling softly as he realises who it was.

“Can’t sleep.. go back to bed Bee.” He sits back, groaning as he stretches his limbs.

Bella walks around to sit herself upon the chair next to him, crossing her legs as she faces him.

He looks at her, furrowing his brows, “What’re you doing?”

She pulls a smile to her lips, shrugging her shoulders lightly, “Showing you that you’re not alone!” She reaches over to take his hand, taking a moment to watch her thumb graze his skin, sighing before opening her mouth, her eyes not moving from their joined hands, “Rafe I- I can’t pretend like I don’t see it.. Like I don’t know that you’re hurting. Because I know..” She looks up at him, her eyes already glistening as she squeezes his hand, “I know! And the fact you don’t talk about it hurts because it means I don’t know what I’m meant to do..” Her words tremble as her lip wobbles, her voice cracking as it got quieter the more she spoke. A tear forming in the corner of her eye.

He doesn’t look at her, only rubs his thumb along her palm, him biting his other nails.

“We can turn the cameras off whenever we want. You told me that. You!” She pats a finger against his chest, her words coming out as whines as it became increasingly harder for her to hold herself back from crying, seeing her best friend struggling so bad. “If that’s what it’ll take for you to talk to me then I can make that happen.. Or we can go talk somewhere else like my room at home or something I don’t know, I don’t care I just..” She pauses a moment to take a deep breath.

“Because I know it’s not the cameras Rafe.. You wanted to do this show, you were actually excited about it, you told me that! But it’s those little moments where your smile slips that I can just tell that you’re not okay but if I ask you just push it off.. I just..” Her eyes well up as a tear slips down her cheek, “Your my best friend Rafe!!!” She cries out, lips pouted and wobbly as she tries to speak, “I- I can’t act like there’s nothing wrong just because I know you won’t tell me. I want to know what’s wrong so I can.. I don’t know, talk about it or hold you or something!! Just.. it hurts me Rafe and I want to be able to help you.. please..” She pleads out through her teary voice, her throat drying as she tries to steady her breathing.

Rafe turns away, not being able to keep it all in as he lets go, tears running down his plush cheeks; trying to wipe them away but it not stopping more from forming.

Bella sits beside him, pulling him into her arms as she pats his head lightly, “It’s okay.. I got you..” She rests her head to his own as her hand grazes his hairs against the back of his neck.

He begins to sob; choked up breaths falling from his lips as he gasps for air, soaking Bella’s top in salty tears as he grips onto it with his spare hand.

“I just don’t know what to do.. I can’t do it anymore Bells.. I’m trying.. I’m fucking trying my best..” He chokes into her chest, causing the girl to squeeze her eyes shut, tears falling from her cheeks as she sniffles, trying to hold together for him. Her grip on him tightening without even realising as she pulls him as far into herself as she possibly could not wanting to let go.

“I know you are Ray I know.. and I am so unbelievably proud of you.. but you can do it..! You can I know it.. you’re the bravest and strongest person I know Rafe.. but it’s okay to feel stuck sometimes.. and that’s what I’m here for okay..? I’m here for those moments when you feel like that..” She kisses his head, her fingers running circles along his neck.

“Fuck I need you Bells.. every damn day I feel like without you I’m gonna fuck up and I want to die.. you’re the only person I’ve ever cared about and I.. your the only reason I’m even still here..” His voice was barely hearable as he pushed his face into the soft material, muffling his cracked words; tugging on her top firmly.

“Rafe..” She managed through a gasp of inhale, tugging lightly at his hair as his words cut deeper than intended.

“No I.. it’s a good thing..” He raises his head, glassy eyes already filling again as his cheeks glistened in the moonlight, “I just.. I never wanted to put that pressure on you.. so..”

She blinked at him, “So you never talked about it..” She nods along, finally understanding everything clearer now.

He merely nods; breaking down once again, chest heaving as he tries keeping it back.

Bella’s brows furrow, her eyes welling at the sight of her best friend struggling so hard; she reaches for him, “Hey no let it all out..” She pulls him back into her chest, lightly rubbing his back as she rests her head to his, “It’s okay I got you..”

He falls back against her, squeezing her like she was his only lifeline, like she was the only thing keeping him grounded anymore. He sniffles, “I’m so sorry..”

Bella’s emotions immediately cut short, face contorting in confusion, “What-“

“For everything.. for always pushing you away.. for-“ He cuts her off but she felt herself aching from his words.

“Rafe-“ She tugs at his shirt trying to get him to sit up as she almost begs him to stop.

“Treating you like shi-“

“Rafe!!” She cries, “Stop apologising! For gods sakes Rafe none of this is your fault.. why else do you think I’m still here?? Your dad’s an asshole, your friends are shit, your sisters hate you. Rafe I understand.. so much more than you’ll ever know.. I understand.. don’t you ever go apologising to me again for shit that wasn’t your fault..”

He stops talking, only squeezing his grip tighter as he nuzzles his face into her skin of her neck. “Bella..” He whispers against her skin.

She hums in response, focusing on comforting him as her head rested gently against his whilst her hand caressed the back of his head.

“How do I make it stop..?” He pleads hopelessy, almost begging for the answer, “How do I make the pain go away.. it hurts Bells..” He chokes out in a tear-driven whine, “And.. and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do..” His arms wrap around the girl tightly, digging his face deeper into her skin, “I don’t know what to do anymore..” He croaks, his face hidden in her shoulder.

“I..” Bella searches for an answer but nothing comes to mind as she stutters, “I.. R-Rafe all you can do is push through.. and I- I’m so sorry to say that.. we can get you checked out or you can speak to a therapist maybe.. if I could take it all away Ray you know I would.. I’m so sorry.. I- I feel so useless..” She cries, resting her head onto his, her eyes pushing into his strands as she holds him tightly.

He merely shakes his head, silence falls as they just sit there, she lets him cry it out, letting out small ‘its okay’s and ‘I’m here rafe’s whilst stroking his head, and cuddling him for comfort.

After they both calmed down Rafe sits back up, taking a minute to process his thoughts before speaking. “Bells, you ever um.. You ever had to make like a really tough decision..?” He kept his voice low as he lifted his knees to his chest, he eyes sat on his hands that wrapped around his legs.

Her brows dip as she looks up at him, her hand snaking round his leg as she gently caressed it, “What’re you on about Rafe?”

He shrugs, “Just like you know.. having to do something that’ll affect the way people view you.. How people really close to you see you..”

Bella grew more confused, yet concern fuelled her expressions as she glued her eyes to Rafe’s, “Rafe what’s going on?”

“Nothing just wondering..” He mumbled, leaning his head against his knees.

However Bella persists, “Rafe whatre you being made to do? What’s the decision?” She runs her fingers through his hair, her words causing him to sit up.

“It’s not important Bells..”

She jerks a brow, her face scrunching, “Yes it’s important Rafe! Everything you do is important to me!!”

His eyes widen, finally meeting hers before a sigh falls from his lips, “Bella I’m serious..! I don’t ask a lot from you but please just don’t worry about this a’ight..?”

“But Rafe-“

“No buts Bella! I’m fine..”

She watches him. Watches as his ocean eyes wonder the sky, as his fingers intertwine and pick at one another, as his hair gently shifted in the breeze.

Frowning, she shakes her head, “Rafe..” His attention moves back to her, “You know um.. I have to continuously make the tough decision of staying with Cal everyday.. I don’t know everything that goes on with him. You don’t know everything. No one will.. I don’t want to leave him on his own but I also can’t let myself be treated this way. So I choose to stay anyways because I know I have you.. And if I chose to let him go, I know he’d be alone. And that’s not fair.. There you go.. yes is your answer. Everyday. You’re not alone Ray you never will be.. I promise, okay? Whatever it is you have to decide, I’ll be here. Right by your side through the whole thing. I promise..” She reaches out a hand to squeeze his own.

His eyes glaze her face, admiring her features; her soft plump lips, her brown chocolate eyes, her rosy cheeks that glistened from tears she cried for him.

He sighs, knowing that this decision, if he makes the wrong choice then she won’t be by his side. She can’t promise because she doesn’t know what she’s promising. And if he chooses wrong, they might never see each other again. She understands how hard it is, but she doesn’t understand how much harder it’ll get after he’s made his decision. And yet it’s one he’s going to have to make.

He shuts his eyes a moment, pushing away his thoughts before removing himself from the pool chair. Reaching out a hand to take hers he plasters on a smile, “C’mon Bee let’s go to bed..” She smiles back softly, nodding along to his words as her hand grips tightly around his fingers, not arguing back about the fact he wants to end the conversation.

He takes her upstairs, them both embracing one another in the warmth of his bedroom as they fall asleep tangled together. Neither one of them knowing how much each other needs it at this moment in time.

//

Thank you so much for watching this episode of Keeping up with the Camerons! I know it was a long one but there was so much that had happened today that we didn’t want anything to go unseen! See you again soon to join Rose on her motherly duties and maybe some comfort to today’s happenings..

Next Episode Here

It’s 12:30 AM so I’m not wrong in saying it’s already the next day 🤷‍♀️🤭 oops..

BUT HOPE YOU ENJOYED 💕

Masterlist

Taglist: @viawritesstuff @mymelodylvr @rafeinterlude @cerya @aariahnaa @42angelgirl @b1mb0slvt

[bruinsbabydaddyy]

Desert Sunsets

He was nervous, Like sweating from every pore nervous. But of course, you wouldn't have noticed that between the steep climbing and the Arizona sun, you could only focus on surviving this beast of a hike you for some reason agreed to go on. You wouldn't have if he wasn't so weirdly adamant about going. Usually, when you tell him you don't wanna exercise with him he just sighs and walks away. But not this time, this time he practically begged, and played every card he had including a movie night of whatever you wanted and multiple promised coffee runs. What made things even worse was you weren't even in the cool air of Toronto you had grown accustomed to in the multiple years of living with Auston.

 but you were back in AZ and usually, you did okay with the summer heat when you had AC in the comfort of your Scottsdale apartment even with the sun setting it was still scorching, but on the plus side apparently, Auston couldn't take the heat either and had lost his shirt about a mile and a half ago and that was the only motivation you needed to keep your head up, as you were approaching what you were praying to be the top he looked back at you and you noticed something in his eyes, a kind of fear like he was waiting for you to run for the hills and not look back but you couldn't, you wouldn't dream of it these past few years had been the best of your life, you would walk to the ends of the earth if he asked you too. A shaky voice broke your thoughts “babe come up here for a sec” “give me a second felix is really into this bush” as you pull the doodle to your side and make your way up the little pathway the view hits you,various shades of pink an orange fill the desert sky and all of the thoughts leave your head “is this what heaven feels like” is all you can seem to get out.

you hear a chuckle behind you as you take out your phone to capture the moment,it felt like eternity as you were trying to get that perfect picture that you'd completely end up forgetting to post in the end but what broke you away from that screen was the shaky breath coming from the man behind you and as you turn around you immediately felt yourself tearing up and from the looks of Austons face he was about to as well 

“honey I owe everything I am today to you,you have got me through some of my hardest days and made my best a thousand times better,You have stuck by my side and single handedly been my biggest support system when i was trying to navigate through a whole new life in Toronto,you have been the best mom to felix and I know your gonna be an even better one to our kids one day. Hell you dropped everything to move across the country with me and I know I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me and our relationship but I'd like to spend the rest of my life trying if you'll let me” by this point you fully sobbing and he's even slipped a few tears. “I would love to” you manage to choke out in between sobs that are slowly turning into laughs as you see his face relax and the stress in his eyes fade to a love you've only seen in movies and Taylor swift songs. He pulls you into the tightest embrace he can muster and he holds you in front of the desert sunset

[manicplank]

The Color Pink (Part 10)

Uhhh this one took me a while to get to bc my brain went on vacation.

Hazel had been on cloud nine since her last date with The Noise. Even though it had been days, it felt like it all happened yesterday. For some strange reason, life felt completely different. She found herself smiling a lot, especially when she thought of him. She was itching to see him again, but she didn't want to seem clingy. However, she couldn't seem to contain herself. It had been so long since she felt a love like this, and she wanted to cherish every moment. She paced back and forth as she waited for their usual 7 o'clock phone call. The phone rang, and she picked it up without hesitation; "Hi, Theo!"

"Hey! How-"

"We should go on another date!"

He chuckled. "Eager, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry," she laughed nervously.

"I mean, I don't disagree."

"Great!"

"What were you thinking we do?"

"Um... I didn't think about that."

"I don't have any ideas."

"Hmmm..."

They went silent for a minute.

"Oh!" Hazel said, "I got it! Why don't we go stargazing? There's an opening in Picnic Park where you can see the stars!"

"How... How does that work?"

"What?"

"How can we see the stars when we're in a tower?"

"I don't know. I try not to think about it too much, it gives me a headache."

"That's fair."

"Do you maybe want to do it tonight?"

"That's a little short notice. I'm also kind of tired."

"Right, right, right. Sorry. I'm just excited to see you."

He chuckled again. "It's okay. If you want, we can do it tomorrow night, though."

Hazel hummed in thought for a minute. "Oh, yeah, that actually works out better. I'm not opening the cafe tomorrow."

"How come?"

"I want a three day weekend. I need some time off."

"That's understandable. I do that every now and again. I can set my own hours sometimes. It has to be approved occasionally. There was one time I took a week off because I just didn't feel like going to work."

"Really? That sounds... nice."

"It is, but I got so behind. It was bad. So yeah, that's why some of my extra days off need to be pre-approved."

"I try not to take too many days off. I guess it really doesn't matter much since I don't get a lot of customers."

"Hey, what did I say about that mindset?"

"I know, I know. I'm just saying. As much as I enjoy The Vigilante's company, it gets a little tiring hearing him rambling on and on about justice and this and that."

"Ugh, you deserve an award for dealing with him so often. I can't stand that guy."

"He's uh... He's an acquired taste."

"He suuuuucks!"

"Oh, be nice."

"That's not really my thing."

"Mhm, okay. I call bullshit."

"Yeah? How come?"

"You're nice to me."

"Only to you."

She let out a small giggle. "I believe that."

"I hate to cut it short, but I'm feeling really tired. I'm probably gonna make some food and head to bed."

"Okay. What time do you want to meet up tomorrow?"

"How about 8 or 9?"

"Why so late?"

"I thought you wanted to go stargazing."

"Oh! Right!" She laughed.

"Okay, well... Goodnight, Hazel."

"Goodnight, Theodore."

-

Hazel had suffered through the anticipation of the whole day waiting for their date. The day went by so slowly. She felt as if she was stuck in waiting mode. She got ready in something casual. She left her hair as was. She put on a cute pink Hello Kitty t-shirt with some straight leg blue jeans and white sneakers. She felt that she had been overeager to see him, so she wanted to dress to impressive. Play it cool, she thought.

She called a cab and headed down to the Gnome Forest. She walked over to Picnic Park. She saw some goblins that looked unusually like The Noise. She actually thought one of them was him, but when she called to it, it didn't respond. When she got to the park, she saw The Noise waiting for her. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a yellow bomber jacket and blue jeans with black Vans. He ran up to her and picked her up with a spin. She laughed as she held on to his shoulder.

"Hey," she spoke through laughter.

"Hi," he chuckled. "I was waiting for you." He put her down softly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late."

"No, no, I got here kind of early. We didn't specify whether we were meeting at 8 or 9 so I got here at 8."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing! It's not your fault."

"Okay, okay." She giggled. "Here," she grabbed his hand. "I'll show you where the opening is."

"Heh heh..."

"What?"

He snickered. "Nothing, it's just the way you said that."

She smiled and shook her head. "You have a dirty mind."

He cackled as she tugged his arm. They came to a small area of grass. Above them was an opening in the trees that showed the night sky. Amazingly, the stars were bright and abundant. There were so many of them, which was funny considering they were inside a tower. Hazel looked at him and smiled when she saw him looking upward. "This is the spot I was telling you about."

"Yeah," he looked at her. "You weren't kidding."

"I mean, I haven't been here in a while. I really don't have to. If I want to go stargazing, all I would have to do is look at you."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Stop... I'm not that famous..."

"Are you kidding? You're like the most famous person in the tower. I think more people know you than Pizzaface."

"Whatever," he poked her, and she giggled.

Hazel sat down and so did Theo. They laid down slowly and looked up. The sky was pitch black, decorated with sparkling stars of white, red, green, and blue. The stars in the tower were so different from the stars outside. They had all sorts of different patterns and shapes.

"I remember," Theo spoke, "when I was a kid, we went to a planetarium as a school field trip. It was really cool."

"I went to one, too," Hazel responded, "my school did the same thing!"

"We got to see space ship equipment, pieces of space suits and meteorites. Then they took us to this dome room where they had all the stars. They showed us the constellations and told us their backstories."

"Really? I didn't get that experience as a kid."

"Yeah. The only constellation I can still spot is Orion. You can only see it during the winter. Well, it starts in the fall, and that's how I know winter's coming."

"That's really cool! I don't know where the constellations are. I only really know what they're called."

"I'm surprised no one's made up constellations for the stars in here."

"We could make some."

"Yeah, we could, but I'm not the most creative."

She looked at him. "Really? You, not the creative type?" She was very sarcastic.

He looked at her and laughed. "I guess I am, but not when it comes to constellations."

"Let's test it out." She pointed at a few stars in the shape of two squares. "How about that one?"

"Uhhh... A book, maybe?"

"Or nerdy glasses."

He chuckled. "That one kind of sucked."

She slapped his forearm. "Be nice!"

"I am!" He laughed.

She sighed, "I guess you're right. Two squares isn't the most impressive thing in the world."

"Hmmm..." He pointed at some stars in the shape of an asterisk. "How about that one?"

"Mmm... I don't really see anything."

"It's a flower." He grabbed her hand and traced the pattern with her finger.

"Oh! I see it now!"

He snickered. As she continued to stare at the stars, he turned his head to her. He observed her and how pretty she was. He scanned her from her head to her toes with a smile on his face. He was completely enamored by her. This beautiful girl lay beside him. He thought about how he was originally flirting with her out of lust, but quickly, he fell for her. He had never met anyone quite like her. She was so kind, upbeat, and outgoing. She brought out a side of him that he didn't even know existed. She turned her head to him and noticed him staring.

"Hi," she spoke.

"Hey," he replied.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't know."

"You sure?"

"I... Heh, I don't know that either." He chuckled nervously.

"I have to ask you about something you said."

"Oh?"

"It was, uh... something you said when you were drunk."

His eyes widened, and his heart sank. "Oh..." He didn't remember what he had said to her.

"You told me... Well, you told me that you liked me."

"..." He stared at her in bewilderment.

"What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, well, um..." He looked up at the sky and gulped. "I, uh..." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Hazel... I like you. I like your eyes. I like your smile. I like the way you talk. I like the way your voice sounds. I like how you get excited over the smallest of things. I like how you squeak and hop around when you're happy. I like that you're resilient and don't give up when things get challenging. I like that you're authentically yourself no matter what. I like it when you come around, and I like it when you're there. I like that you treat me like a normal person. I like that you worry about me, like when it was raining and you were worried I'd get sick. I like that you're a bit assertive with me. I like that we call and talk on the phone every day. I like how soft your hands are, and I like when you let me hold them. I like it when we hug. A-a-and I liked it when we kissed. I like that you make me nervous but you also make me calm.

I like you, Hazel. I really, really do."

Hazel was smiling with tears in her eyes. "Wow, Theodore... That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

He sat up. "I just," he sighed, "I don't want to rush things. I don't want to get my heart broken, and I surely don't want to break yours. I guess, in a way, I'm afraid. I already feel like I don't deserve you, like you're too good for me. You're such a genuinely sweet and good person, and well... To be honest, when I first met you, I was only flirting with you to get lucky. And before I met you, I was basically an alcoholic. I drank before work, after work, in the morning, and before bed. I stopped drinking as much once we started talking. I'm still working on getting my drinking under control. I'm short-tempered and nasty. There's so many horrible, horrible things about me that you haven't seen yet. So many things that make me feel like I shouldn't be doing this with you." Theo sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Theodore, look," Hazel sat up, scooted next to him, and gently grabbed the side of his face to make him look at her. "I like you, too. I like how nervous you get. I like that you're pushing through that nervousness for me. I like that you care about me. I like that you try to help me out with my business. I like that you make time for me when you're so busy. I like your smile. I like your laugh. I like that you're so silly and goofy. I like that you're truthful with me. I like that you told me about all that.

But you know what I don't like? I don't like how hard you are on yourself. I don't like that you seem to think that you're such a horrible person. I don't like that you see all the good things in me but none of the good things about yourself. There are bad things about me, too. Things you haven't seen yet. Things that you're probably not going to like, things that I don't even like.

I think you're good enough for me. Matter of fact, I think you're even better than that. Come here."

She pulled him in for a hug. He sniffled again and shed a few silent tears into her shoulder. She pulled back to see that he was crying. She put her hands on his cheeks. "No tears," she said ever so softly. "I like you, too. Okay?"

He nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

She hugged him again and rubbed his back. She felt his whole body relax in her arms. He felt her shiver slightly and pulled back.

"Are you okay," he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little cold." She smiled and shrugged.

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Here."

"Oh, no, no," she tried to stop him.

"No, you're cold."

"But you'll-"

"Hazel." He looked her in the eye. "You need this more than I do."

She smiled and blushed as she put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I have a pretty good cold tolerance. I'll be fine."

They laid down side by side with their hands clasped together, their fingers intertwined. Hazel felt incredibly warm and safe with his jacket around her. She leaned her head on Theodore's shoulder as they continued to stargaze. They continued to point out silly shapes they noticed in the stars and gave them even sillier names. As the night continued on, things got quiet. Theo got a little concerned. He looked over to see that Hazel had dozed off on his shoulder. He smiled and snickered. He nudged her gently with his elbow to wake her up. She slowly picked her head up. Her eyes were squinted with confusion.

"Hey," he spoke under his breath.

"What happened," she muttered.

"You fell asleep."

She shot up. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

He sat up and laughed. "It's okay."

She covered her face in embarrassment. "I'm not usually up this late." She huffed. "I'm usually in bed super early so I can wake up early for the cafe."

"Do you wanna go home?"

"No! I mean, yeah, but..."

"Want me to take you home?"

"No, I'll call a cab this time. Thanks, though."

"Come on," he stood up and held his hand out. "I'll walk you to the street."

She grabbed his hand, and he helped her up. They walked slowly through the park with their hands held. Hazel was so flustered, she couldn't believe she fell asleep on him during their date! Theodore thought it was absolutely adorable that she felt safe enough with him to fall asleep on his shoulder. He wasn't at all mad. As they strolled towards the street, Theodore stopped her and leaned on a tree. He grabbed her other hand and held both of them.

"Why are we stopping?" She was incredibly confused.

Theodore's heart was racing. His legs were weak and felt like they could give out at any moment. With a nervous smile, he asked,

"Hazel... Will you be my girlfriend?"

Hazel's eyes grew wide and she gasped.

"Oh... My... Gosh!!!" She jumped up and down with her hands still in his. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSS!!!" She let out a small squeal before she yanked him into hug, still hopping around and giggling in joy. When they pulled away from the hug, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him deeply. She started to giggle and hop around again, her hands on his shoulders, his hands on hers. Her cab pulled up, and she looked at it before kissing him again.

"I have to go," she said with a giant smile.

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Bye!" She pecked him on the lips one more time. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Go home, go to bed." He pat her on the shoulder as she ran towards the cab.

He watched her run off with a giant smile on his face. She couldn't see it, but his face was beet red. He was so happy she said yes. He couldn't believe he finally worked up the courage to ask her. After the conversation they had before, he finally felt secure enough. He was a bit anxious, but he had to take the chance. And he was so glad he did.

That night, Hazel had trouble sleeping. She was suddenly struck with energy and excitement after he asked her out. She paced around her bedroom for a good hour before she settled down to sleep. She realized she forgot to give him back his jacket in her fit of exhilaration. But it was so soft and warm, and it smelled like him, too. She finally laid down, falling asleep while wearing his jacket.

[chronicowboy]

wrote this on wednesday then promptly forgot about it (thabk @danielsousa for reminding me) but there's like a tiny chance eddie could be trapped in that van with someone so the bones of this fic could still technically apply

Eddie makes it out alive. Again. Somehow.

(Except somehow is 6ft2 and looks a lot like an angel when the last piece of rubble falls away and the light filters into what Eddie had thought would be his grave.)

Eddie makes it out alive, but Joel isn't so lucky.

He had been on a motorbike when the first crash had happened, in critical condition before the bridge had collapsed. It had taken them far too long to extract him from the cluster of cars, and then, when they'd finally gotten him ready to transport, the bridge had swallowed both Joel and Eddie whole.

It had been a long two hours of trying to keep Joel from bleeding out, but eventually he'd lost the fight and the man had taken in one final, wheezing breath before going still.

Now, Eddie's staring into a hospital mirror covered in dust and another man's blood. The bathroom door creaks open, and Buck's reflection appears in the mirror.

"Chim's okay," he offers softly. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut in relief, its the most Buck is going to get out of him. "Maddie's just waiting for him to be assigned a room and then she'll go up and sit with him until he's awake." Buck joins him by the sinks, turning the faucet on and grabbing a wad of paper towels. "Hen and Bobby have been checked out too. Nothing but a few scrapes and bruises. Karen and Athena are looking after them."

Buck picks up Eddie's bloodied hands with a gentleness that makes Eddie want to curl up in a ball, but he lets Buck wipe away the grime on his skin and doesn't think about Maddie with Chimney, Athena with Bobby, Karen with Hen. He catches the bandage peeking out from under Buck's shirt sleeve and his stomach clenches.

"What about you?" he croaks, voice hoarse from begging Joel to stay with him. Buck looks up at him with earnest eyes before following his gaze down to the gauze.

"Oh, that's nothing." Buck shakes his head. "Chim needed a blood transfusion, and..."

"You're a universal donor," Eddie mumbles to himself. Buck nods.

"How are you?" he whispers, guiding Eddie's hands under the lukewarm stream of water. Eddie fixes his gaze on the pink liquid swirling around the drain.

"Unscathed," he spits.

"Eddie," Buck murmurs. "You did everything you could for him."

"It wasn't enough."

Eddie jerks his hands out of Buck's grasp, pumps three drops of soap onto his palm, turns the heat up to full and scrubs and scrubs and scrubs. Buck shuts the tap off just as the water begins to burn, and Eddie slumps into a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the counter, squeezing his eyes shut and hanging his head.

"He had a kid at home, Buck." Eddie bites his lip, revels in the gritty taste of dust. "A little girl. Jackie. God, you should have seen his face when he spoke about her." Even in the darkness, even in tremendous amounts of agony, Joel had lit up like the fucking sun when he spoke of his daughter. For a single moment, Eddie had been back in the well, fighting to get home to Christopher.

"And I know that you did everything in your power to try and get him back to her," Buck says with conviction.

"Well, it wasn't enough, was it?" Eddie snaps. "He died in my care, Buck. I let a little girl lose her father."

"Eddie, that was not your fault," Buck warns him, tone stern. "The universe was working against you in every possible way."

"The universe!" Eddie laughs coldly, meets Buck's eyes in the mirror. "The universe has been working against me my whole goddamn life, Buck. But I'm still here." His voice cracks, but he doesn't take his eyes off Buck. Can't. "Why am I still here?" Buck opens his mouth, but Eddie doesn't want an answer as much as he wants to spit in the universe's filthy fucking face. "Shannon died, my convoy died, Joel died. You died." Eddie takes in a ragged breath, cursing the oxygen in his lungs. "Why am I still alive?"

"Because there is a little boy, who's not all that little anymore, waiting for you at home. A little boy who loves you more than anything in the world. A little boy who needs his dad."

"Wasn't enough for Joel," Eddie croaks.

"No, but." Buck sighs. "You made Chris a promise. To always fight to come home to him. You were just keeping that promise."

"He had a wife," Eddie whispers. "A wife and a kid to get home to. And he fought for them. But..." He squeezes his eyes shut again. "Why am I still here, Buck?"

"For Christopher."

"Christopher would be fine." Eddie shakes his head in dismissal. "He'd have you."

For a moment, the only sound in the bathroom is Eddie's ragged breathing and the drip-drop of a leaky faucet. Then, a low and furious noise, like the grumble of thunder -

"Eddie, you are not expendable."

Eddie huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

"Clearly not," he snaps, spinning around to face Buck head on. "Clearly I'm not expendable when everybody around me, everybody but me keeps dying."

Eddie storms out of the bathroom before Buck can say anything else. The itch under his skin turning into a haunting chorus telling him to run. He follows the winding hallways of the hospital in a blind need for air, suddenly claustrophobic trapped in between four walls, just waiting for it all to come crumbling down around him. He doesn't stop until he's outside, collapsing onto the bench just left of the exit as the tears start to fall. He hunches in on himself and cries into his hands for what feels like hours.

Eventually, somebody eases down onto the bench beside him. He doesn't have to look to know its Buck, can feel it in the warmth where their shoulders touch. Eddie braces himself for whatever Buck is going to say, but nothing comes. Buck just. Sits beside him. Sits with him in his grief. And Eddie is so thankful for it that he almost doesn't remember Bobby's words to him in the hardware store.

a motorcycle accident... it was a bad one... I wasn't at my best at the time... I needed to take a minute and she sat with me.

"Eddie, you said it yourself." Buck smiles at him. "Experiences like this they change us, so you're gonna have to make a choice. What's this gonna change in you?"

Oh, Eddie thinks, that's what its going to change.

[lover-of-mine]

You don't have to answer this question at all if it's too personal . I won't feel bad. I'm just trying to get an idea of what to expect. I'm agnostic and wasn't raised in any religion. I don't even know really anyone who practices Catholicism. The only thing I can interpret from my friends who are Christian is its definitely, harsher??? Values ingrained in them. I was wondering if you were raised religious and had to battle being queer vs any pre conceived notions you held or your family may have. I swear you said something once about Nuns crossing themselves when they passed you for having colored hair? Sorry if I'm wrong on that. I just feel like if they are doing this they are really doing it and what a story of deconstructing yourself might look like.

Okay, this is a complicated question. I was raised religious and for all intents and purposes, I still am, but while I am christian, I was never catholic. I was raised with spiritism as a belief and they are a lot more open to stuff than different churches. The experience I had with catholic people telling me stuff like being queer is wrong was in school, because my city is very catholic and because we had a religious study class that was mandatory and the teacher was very Sunday school type vibes even though it wasn't supposed to be a catholic leaning class, but at that point I was old enough to push back, so I was constantly fighting my teacher. I'm not out to my family because while my parents never had a problem with queer people, my dad has made some comments about bisexual people that make me scared even tho they weren't fully bigoted, it's just boomer talk, being ignorant, and, honestly, I think he knows and he's waiting for me to say something because there was a situation with one of my cousins a few years back that got me really heated because her side of the family is very religious, and she's some shade of queer and people kept using religion against her, and my dad suddenly started talking about acceptance and stuff like that while supporting how frustrated I was with my uncle, but honestly, at this point I'm kinda settled into only coming out to them if there's a girl I want them to meet. I did go to university in a very religious city and I had to deal with multiple people commenting on my appearance, specifically colorful hair, the nun thing did happen, I had blue hair and I was wearing a shirt that had a cross made of skulls, they didn't like that, but I've had people tell I'm not getting into heaven and my sin was pink hair. I can't really help with this particular aspect because my struggle with being bi was never about someone telling me that loving women is wrong, it was always I do like men, so I just thought people felt that way about everybody. I fully kissed another girl and didn't accept I was bi until like, 3 years later lol. I will say that catholicism as a whole is very engrained into latino culture, and I did experience that adjacently, the whole being gay is a sin thing, but since in my house I didn't have that, I pushed back, I pushed back enough that my whole school believed I was a lesbian by the time I hit highschool (I grew up in a small town, everyone knows everyone)

Now, applying the whole thing to Eddie, I think with the way that Eddie talks about religious pressure defining some steps he took with his life, deconstructing his relationship with religion and the concept of God would be important for him to fully accept himself if that's where they're going. Mostly because I think he needs to confront the way he views the works and when you grow up religious, it does affect the way you look at things even if you don't believe that religion anymore. But I don't think I can give anything more insightful given the way I don't know how it feels like to experience catholicism the way Eddie does. I do believe that Eddie finding himself does mean Eddie accepting he is some shade of queer, and since they touched on the whole catholic guilt last season, that's a good way to force him to accept that there's nothing wrong with him, but it's more about the way I watched people go through similar stuff, not any personal experience.

[leviathans-watching]

mfil - 04

-` ♡ ´- m.list | no taglist | next

-` ♡ ´- a/n: thanks to those liking, reblogging, and commenting!! much appreciated ^^

*NOT CLICKBAIT!!!* when asmo learns that you, the newest exchange student has a youtube account and following somewhat comparable to his own, he decided right then and there not to like you. however, after an unfortunate (and misleading) exchange goes viral, he has no choice but to fake date you in order to save face. will asmo crush you and put you into place like you deserve? or are those funny feelings in his stomach not hate, like he had thought? like, subscribe, and maybe fall in love (with this smau) to find out!!

asmo takes a deep breath, stepping out of his car. he’s just got to give you your uniform and then he can leave.

but wait, what if you try to keep him? or are so overwhelmed by his presence you want to take a pic? oh god, he’s going to have to force a smile, isn’t he?

as he gets close to the door to diavolo’s castle, it swings open before he can knock, and barbatos welcomes him in.

“hello, asmodeus,” barbatos says, that all-knowing (and all-infuriating!) glint in his eye. “here to drop off the things for mc?”

“yep!” asmo says, sensing a chance. “and i’m actually in a hurry so can i just leave them with you? i’ve really got to get going.”

“i’m here!” a voice calls, and he sees you practically run into the room. you’re dressed simply, unlike his completely put-together and gorgeous outfit, and your hair is a complete mess. resisting the urge to fix it for you, he offers you a charming smile.

“you must me mc. i’m asmodeus. pleasure to meet you.” as he speaks, he calls upon his charm, eyes glowing pink.

“nice to meet you,” you return brightly, offering a hand. somehow completely unaffected by his powers.

swallowing a scowl, asmo forces more charm into his voice, taking your hand delicately and pressing a kiss to the back of it instead of shaking it. you jerk back slightly but recover admirably. annoyingly. whatever.

“thank you so much for taking the time to drop this off,” you blabber on. “i know you’re probably really busy and what not, but i appreciate it. you’re literally a lifesaver.”

“well, of course i’d help our newest exchange student,” asmo hums. “especially since you’re so cute~”

you laugh. laugh! at him!

“well aren’t you a charmer,” you say. “i was warned about you, and i guess the rumors are true. you’re just as flirty in real life as you are online.”

“you’re a fan?” asmo asks, acting like he hadn’t spent the last hour doing a deep dive into all of your accounts to see if you were following him, if you’d liked his posts, et cetera.

“i wouldn’t call myself a fan,” you dismiss easily. “but i’m definitely aware of your online persona. a lot of my fans are also fans of yours so i see your name pop up in my comment section sometimes.”

“oh, yes, i saw that you also do youtube,” asmo says. “diy videos, yes? how cute.”

as if you didn’t even notice the barb he just threw your way, you smile. “thanks! i’m still pretty new to the whole thing, but it’s been really fun so far.”

asmo returns your smile, lips thinly pressed together. “well. as nice as it’s been to meet you, i really must be on my way…”

“oh! yes, of course!” you exclaim. “again, thank you so much for dropping this off,” you say, gesturing to the neatly folded uniform asmo has deposited onto the nearby counter. he’d taken the liberty of switching the shirt lucifer had selected for a larger size and wondered what you’d do to combat that on the first day of school. petty? maybe. but fun? definitely. “i really appreciate it! i hope we’ll see each other around at rad.”

“mhm, i’m sure we will!” asmo chirps. “and you’re welcome. i hope you enjoy your time here. and good luck on your channel! if you ever need any help or have any questions, let me know. i am kind of an expert.” unlike you, he implies.

“oh, definitely!” you reply, again not even seeming to register his snark, or his attempt at using his powers. what is wrong with you?! “i’ll keep that in mind. have a good day!”

“you too!” he says, sickly sweet, then takes his leave, only letting his mask fall once he pulls out of the driveway. i’ll show you, he thinks angrily, coming here, acting all famous… i’ll show you.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Had a weird nightmare about a cult

It was in a church, just an average protestant midsized church, you would expect boy scout meetings in the backroom kind of a place. I was there with some anonymous friend/ acquaintance, the pretty older girl from high-school who was popular and yet genuinely nice, her mom is friends with your mom, her family is well known and well liked, offending her would be social suicide not because of anything she would do but because everyone you know would take her side and grant her victim status because she's just so nice.

She had invited me to some function and I was going out of curiosity and obligation, which is the only reason I'm ever in a church anyways. I was guaranteed to know people there, in the same roundabout, you-know-people-I-know kinda way.

Because its about to be relevant, I'm wearing skinny jeans and a sort of blousey black tank top. I've also got black nail polish and thats a fully normal irl outfit for me. Maybe a bit casual for a Sunday-best style church function, but I was not under the impression that's what I was going to.

I show up and am promptly ushered into the coat closet because what I am wearing is completely unacceptable. (I'm calling it a coat closet because that's what it is, but the churches in my area all have a full sized room set aside for outerwear storage because for half the year everyone shows up in a full down parka and that takes up a ton of space)

Anyway, I'm like, "oh shit I didn't realize this was formal, I can run home and change if its okay that I'm a few minutes late, or if someone has a spare dress I'll wear that" which is also something I have done irl. No one ever tells me anything but I'm small and can cinch down big waistlines and make it look intentional that I'm wearing wildly misfit clothing. So like, the dream is getting weird but in the same way that my real actual life gets wierd.

So then she hands me what is fundamental the same thing I'm already wearing, a pair of slightly darker wash skinny jeans that are slightly higher waisted and with more spandex and buttons, and a black polyester/lycra cropped tank top, which is a shirt I've been looking for irl. And she's apologetic about it, as in, "sorry 😞, hope these fit, 😔 might be a little small"

It's a transparent body shaming attempt, because everything is a xs or a size zero, and meant to make you feel uncomfortable and ungainly in too small clothes, but its so badly executed that I just kinda roll with it, like, okay 🤨. Also I like the tank top.

So I change, and she's finding me a bag to stash my clothes in, and some dude sticks his head in the coat closet as I've got one leg in the new pants. And the whole thing feels so very staged, like I'm supposed to be embarrassed about squeezing into too tight pants in front of some acquaintances hot older brother. Either that or my brain is trying to set up some bad porno wet dream and none of the options are working.

Because the pants fit fine and if you have somehow reached adulthood and are scandalized by the sight of a thigh you're the wierd one for being raised under a rock by blind snakes. So I'm figuring out how to fit my phone and wallet into my waistband because these pants don't have pockets and trying to remember whats-his-faces name, I'm almost certain it starts with a j and I've definitely heard it before but I can probably get away with claiming I mixed him up with someone else and not be considered rude, Jacob? Jason? Jeremy? Jed? Oh wait, is he somebody's boyfriend rather than somebody's brother?

But now he's holding my hand and tut-tuting over my nails because I absolutely cannot have black nails, and wouldn't I prefer a nice dusty pink?

At which point I think I kinda woke myself up because the no rice on Tuesdays tactic of high control groups popped into my head, by name, as that specific phrase, and I went "hmm, yep, this is weird, gimme my shit I'm leaving"

But that only conjured up the first girls mom, complete with a really nice travel duffle with my clothes in it. So I'm yanking my clothes out of the bag, because if I take the bag and leave they're going to want it back and that gives them another opening for things they think you owe them. Anyways shes dissapointed in me, in that performative manipulation kinda way. She says something like if I wanted her daughters shirt I can just have it, heavily implying that I'm causing a scene and being an unreasonable bitch, at which point it occurs to me that it's fucking wierd that they have clothes this small at all because everyone in the building is at least 6 inches taller than I am.

Whats-his-face is still hovering and now he's got a hand on my shoulder thats meant to be reassurance and all I can think is wow you guys are really bad at this. I can hear people in the next room and I know they're people like, my grandparents friends and prospective employers and other important social connections and I need to get out of here without making a scene, which isn't gonna happen.

At some point I said Jesus Christ in the context of a frustrated curse word, which they all jumped on and said I needed to let the lord into my heart or some shit. To which sleepytime subconscious responded to with CAUSE A SCENE AND CONTROL THE NARRATIVE!!!

So I raised my voice loud enough to be heard in the other room and told the guy to get his hands off me or I would punch him in the dick. And because no one believes you when you tell them you're going to punch them in the dick he did not take his hands off me and was calmly and rationally requesting that I calm down and be civil so I followed through and punched him in the dick.

Committing physical violence in a dream always wakes me up, pretty much immediately, but I did get a few glimpses of storming out through a crowd, yelling about entitled pricks in closets and if anyone ever felt like leaving the cult I would give them a hand.

So yeah. What's your religious trauma look like?

[scrollll]

Okay, we don't have a clear idea of what's going on yet, but I can't get away from the idea of what this shot means

(thank you @blmpff for gifting us with these preview shots, may your internet connection always be stable🙏)

Welp.

My theory right now is that Zouey's nude modeling exhibit will take place in Jason's Playboyy Lounge instead of Jason's office.

Because apparently if you go all-in and dick-out in between paper and conference rooms you will attract only half as much customers as if you let that happen in a room full of people who are just waiting to provide you with a massage deluxxe or chew the popcorn off of you (I am so sorry for putting this picture out there again but at the same time... no. I am not XD)

And I'm ignoring how illogical that might be.

Why?

Because my brain is just finding it way too funny to imagine Aob strutting into the lounge, with popping boobs, a shirt thats holding on for dear life and one gun too much in his pants, just looking around, taking in all the scared faces...

And then proudly announcing to everyone that they're rid of the horrible customer. For good. He will never visit again. No permission for him to enter the lounge, like no, never, because HE, Aob took PERSONALLY care of it because he is just THAT fancy and badass- (btw, please look over here Puen, please, look at my flexing tiddies and muscle-ing muscles, Puen baby, please look, 'm doin that for you baby, don't be mad anymore, please-)

Only for the full slut gang, including First with a cleavage that reaches all the way down to Australia, to show up in their foyer less than 10 minutes later, with top permission from the boss himself.

I want to see the reactions of the guys working there, when they are faced with:

1. The guy, who managed to tie down one of the ex-Playboyys working here, some heared he did it even without sex in the beginning, like HOW??? This man has Mr. Sex-o-beat on command and painted his whole world pink!

2. *static noises* *internal screams* *someone runs to grab a bottle of lube, while shaking and gasping* *one worker hides behind a curtain while whisper goes around that this guy had something with Jason's new guard dog and that Soong went on his knees for him*

3. The guy, who had a very stylish, but very loud and rude meltdown in the middle of their work routine before he got carried away by the fucking second in command of the whole lounge??? Someone swear they saw him putting Prom on a leash, more at 11

And 4. Yeah, okay, in theory we have nothin- oh... wait. What did you say Gary? You saw him threatening the number 1 guy Puen with a baseball bat and intentions of death? And then kiss him on the lips "The Godfather"-style? Powder me in sugar and call me a donut, why am NOT surprised?????

All in all... I might start praying for the sanity of the guys working at Playboyy. Because lordy, lordy, help that poor son of a gun who gets the task to show them around... they are totally nice, sweet guys but... i will pray for you.