#BUT HE FEELS SO SO GUILTY OH MY GOD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

praeteritus-memories · 8 months ago

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It was a normal day.

She had been extremely exited because she had finally seen the first blooms of the garden her papa and Mr.svarog helped her make, she knew what she was going to call him about later and she did everything she could to not count the hours till their "nightly" call.

And then she saw it.

Galaxy rangers shoot a bullet into the sky when they honor a fallen member -

When they

When-

.

Static.

.

Her mind felt like she heard static.

Clara dropped the potted plant as she ran home, ran back to the small little sanctuary she had created with all the memories of the family's she longed for. Tears threatened to cloud her vision but she needed to get to the phone.

Needed to hear her papa's voice.

The sound and feeling of her crashing into the furniture didn't register as she reached her room. The phone he had given her hide under her bed in that special box with the red hat he had gotten her -

"Clara what's wrong?"

She heard something, no someone but she couldn't bring herself to focus as she struggled to hold the phone. Her heart felt so full and she couldn't breath.

She couldn't breath but needed to know her Papa was okay, he had to be okay. She just got him back after all and he promised he'd call her and tell her about the new place he went to -

A ring.

He promised.

Followed by another.

He swore he'd call her today

And another

" ....please, pick up "

Her hands felt sticky and metallic hit her nose and her knees and hands hurt but all she could think about was hearing his voice -

A sob left her as the call was picked up.

"Papa"

There was only one way to wake everybody up from this dream without getting the Xianzhou involved and causing a massive problem that shouldn't happen in the first place - the bullet that fallen Galaxy Ranger had that Acheron stole from that man. It was the entire reason Boothill was in Penacony, to honor a fallen comrade even though he never knew who he was or even his name. What right did she have to take that away from a Galaxy Ranger? In order to break from this chaotic melting of reality and dreams, it was their best bet.

Atop the towers of Penacony's deepest dreams, as soon as Boothill fired that bullet into the sky, the sudden overwhelming gathering of Galaxy Rangers from reality had finally shattered the dreamscape and pulled everyone out and back to reality. At least, back to reality for Boothill while the Trailblazers were to fight Sunday and snap him out of it.

That's when his phone rang, that familiar cutesy ringtone he put for Clara, where he picked up the phone to hear her little voice tearfully call his name.

That was right, he told her that should anything happen to him, she'd see what looked like a purple shooting star in the sky, making the cowboy run cold with the realization he must have scared the daylights out of his precious daughter.

"Clara! Oh, baby girl, I am so so sorry I scared the daylights out'ta ya." Taking off his hat in the Astral Express, he slicked his hair back as the stress loomed over him that he scared his daughter horribly. "Listen, I'm alright, ya hear? Wasn't my bullet, pumpkin, I promise ya. It's...a lot to explain over th' phone, but I was stuck an' I had to honor a fallen friend." Not even a friend, but it's hard to explain the silent loyalty that Galaxy Rangers held for one another.

"It's gonna be alright, ya here? Just focus on my focus, honey. Everythin' is fine, an' I'm gonna come home just fine without even a scratch on me."

#;Boothill #he's gonna come home in the doghouse by Svarog #BUT HE FEELS SO SO GUILTY OH MY GOD

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milkbreadtoast · 7 months ago

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TWSB fandom has been so blessed... 창대님 (webtoon s2 artist) is our new savior... THEY SHARED THEIR CHARACTER DESIGN SHEETS...🥹🥹😭❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥😫😫😫🔥🔥🔥🔥

(a lot more in the link!!! oomf told me not to look cuz of spoilers so they sent me these directly lsjdksk)

#twsb #when the third wheel strikes back #twsb liveblog #WE LOVE YOU CHANGDAENIM #i didnt include it here but the yeseo one.... oh my god #i started drooling #i feel guilty to say this abt my friend jung yeseo like hes just a funny silly guy my beloved normiecore mc #BUT HE'S SO... HOT? HE'S SO FINE....#i need him so bad its not even funny anymore.#AND THEIR CEDRIC IS SO FINE AND SEXY MMMMFHFFHJF #AND CHRISTELLE AAAH SHE LOOKS SO CHRISTELLEEEE #edit: someone asked so i added the yeseo but the spoiler one? is censored

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mohntilyet · 2 months ago

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i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

#*my thoughts are ‘not fleshed out’ but i still wrote all this. LOL #i nearly answered this ask with the companion-illario au from my mind because i think vg needed a companion that lies to you LOL #but thats less 'illario didnt mean to do it' and more 'oh illario did it and just feels so guilty he goes on a one man crusade #against the venatori because he needs an outlet and both of them are known as magekillers'#he would have lied for most of the game about how lucanis got kidnapped/'killed' and resolves it by saving lucanis + confessing his guilt #this au had elements of 'it was an accident' but i kept flip flopping between if i wanted that or not lol #because . idk. i like when he purposefully does all this and then regrets it. my walking contradiction (slash i want him)#illario guilt inferiority and jealousy you all mean so much to me #but yeah. last point relates to the envyllario rewrite also from my mind #the idea of like. that caution vanishing because of the envy demon is quite fun for me #so spite makes lucanis a victim to his own anger and sense of justice #while envy refuses to let illario maintain his veneer of charm and forces him to act rashly despite his planning #ok. i have to stop talking. thank u anon for this because i am always looking for an excuse to chat shit #prompt me at any point to speak about illario and i honest to god will just be sat here thinking #actually it was pretty bad a few days ago when i was thinking about ways it could go for him in my aus and drawing a blank #and had the very clear thought 'i NEED to put my thinking cap on' which was . a bit humiliating #illario dellamorte #long post #answered #anonymous

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shepscapades · 1 year ago

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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :>#but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :]#but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—>#ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

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screechingfromthevoid · 4 months ago

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The cape wrapping was too much for me I have to leave

#silver sending stones #cr spoilers #cr 3 e 108 #orym of the air ashari #dorian storm #he probably watched the loom and was like “this is what i signed up for. forever.”#dorym #i do not know how to feel #because this came at the end of such a harsh moment from orym?#he killed fearnes dad which will eat him alive for the rest of his life #he just yelled at everyone because theyre still not understanding that the gods leaving is not going to leave exandria as it was.#he is literally so spent.#hes so tired #and so guilty #(oh i have to update my list of things orym blames hinself for)#and as hes yelling. as hes pleading with his friends to see the calamity that will happen if the gods are gone.#he floats over to dorian.#arguably his biggest opposition #and when hes done. when hes tired himself out. he leans on dorian.#he leans on dorian probably with no expectations of reciprocation. he just. needs dorian in that moment.#and dorian. who has been fighting to get rid of the gods since they took opal and killed hia brother. who wants them gone more than anything #wraps orym in his cloak. a protective wing around him. a warm. same place for him to lean. to rest. even running his hands through his hair.#they have been fighting since dorian came back. theyve been on the opposite sides of each discussion. each argument. and yet #orym still finds comfort in dorian. and dorians still affectionate towards orym.#id like to believe they slept in the same bed that night. after weeks of... finding reasons not to.#theyre clean and newly dry and slightly cold and maybe Orym finds a bed and curls up alone because fearne isnt there. but she hasnt been #for a while. and he doesnt take up the whole bed. he cant. but he doesnt expect someone to join him.#and then when the lights are off and the crickets are chirping and the faint screaming of a new bush to lull him to sleep. his door opens.#he doesnt get up because he knows hes safe in the manor. despite how scary it is. hes fearnes friend and has a deal with nana.#so he doesnt move. he feels cool. soft skin on his back and arms wrapping around him. to protect him. to comfort him

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wallofshrek · 3 months ago

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just watched a let's play of mouthwashing. okay. i can see how this has fucking captivated people oh my god

#txt #mouthwashing #seeing some parts of the gameplay where there are parts i DEFINITELY would've gotten frustrated at failing over and over...#think it was probably a good idea i went the watch route for this game #but the visuals? the storytelling? the writing? the cinematics? oh my fucking god #how over and over jimmy constantly says he's 'fixing it' and 'taking responsibility' when he's doing the complete fucking OPPOSITE of that #the ENTIRE time #even at the end. he didn't fix jack shit. but he convinced himself he did. that he 'took responsibility.'#so that he wouldn't die feeling guilty.#anyway #holy shit? holy shit.#mouthwashing spoilers

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tinybro · 1 year ago

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jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay #give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods #in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it #maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him #which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico #hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery #nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly #and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident #whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow #maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly #so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy #and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico #and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen #while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it #and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love #no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together #cupid's methods are just way more effective #my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god #pjo #jasico #my dumb headcanons

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p4nishers · 6 months ago

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I WAS SO MEAN TO HIM I WAS SO MEAN TO HIM AND HE WAS A BETTER KINGSGUARD THAN I WAS MY GOD LAPIN DESERVED A GREATER DEATH HE DID STUPID FUCKING CARROT FUCK THAT CARROT FUCKING CARROT KILLED A RABBIT

#he was so mean to him oh GOD #theo's first thoughts being lapin.........him crying about lapin and feeling so guilty........ kill me now #see my theopin vision or ill kill everyone here then myself #theopin #theobald gumbar #lapin cadbury #dimension 20 #a crown of candy #acoc #d20 #d20 spoilers

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billiuspendragon · 3 months ago

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I genuinely could not figure out how to move a fic of mine forward without writing a scene from Kusuke's POV but getting into his head is making me feel gross, like ugh.

I like. I don't wanna erase any of his character and it's not like it isn't interesting to write from an incredibly messed up person's perspective. But also. :(

I'm like "omgg dude why would you think something like that what is the matter with you" but then I'm. I'm literally the one writing it. This is all coming from me. I'm the one thinking something like that.

#I hate writing #actually I love writing #but I hate how it shows me my brain #it's not even THAT BAD it's just that I'm the one writing it so I feel guilty about everything that happens in my story lmfao #like if I read this in any other fic I'd just be like swag he's in character ew #but since it's me I'm like OH MY GOD ME WRITING IT MEANS I'M THE EVIL ONE

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moeblob · 8 months ago

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Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

#my characters #its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth #she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare #because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others #though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse #but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics #why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump #and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap #since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm #and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of #so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm #so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms #and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers #and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking #and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad #and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her #and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked #and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme #so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to #and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just #erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months #and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect #he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average

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melrosing · 5 months ago

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im so sorry about all the stuff happening with your dad. i would say i can't imagine, but i can, and it's terrifying. to have someone you love be sick in that way, where they lose more and more of themselves to something incurable and irreversible, is the most devastating thing i can think of. i hope that when you emerge from this place you will remember that your life will continue to contain joy, as much as it did before, as much as it will forever. when it's over and he's out of it he'll be whole again in your memory. for now i hope that in the hospital they give him the lemon jello instead of the gross orange flavor.

thank you anon 💜 it really is just fucking devastating!! im grateful that he's not in pain and that the condition has left him in a pretty oblivious state (i.e. he can't really meaningfully reckon w the fact that he's dying) but at this point it's taken pretty much everything else, and it's not even done. just a deeply evil disease.

but thank you so much for your message, i really appreciate it. the bit that comes after is still v scary for me but it would be lovely to remember him as he was again. it has been a while :(

one thing he still retains tho is his deep and abiding love for custard which is great bc if there's one thing you get in these places it's custard. one of the few bonding exercises i have left is feeding my dad custard

#ask #dad stuff #i guess custard is the uk equiv of jello as the us hospital food.... like my god do they have custard #oh he's also specifically gotten into fruit salads since he started dying. make of that what you will #btw sorry for all the dad posting i feel weirdly guilty about it #i have tried writing this shit in a notebook but for some reason that makes me feel worse??? maybe bc it's such a solitary act idk #i will keep tagging as 'dad stuff' so anyone who needs to blacklist i fully understand and that's the one i mean to keep using

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chloecorvid · 4 months ago

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My D&D character Norphanus is having a looooot of feelings as of late. Some good, some bad, mostly confused and uncertain. And I needed a new portrait of him for my... 9th playlist based on him and this game he's in. So! Here that is!

#chloecorvid #dnd #dnd oc #dnd character #Norphanus is a Sun-Elf/Orc spirit bard with a loooot of feelings about immortality and love #he's been told by the orc god of death Yurtrus to put his dreams of becoming a lich king on hold to focus on saving the world rn #and that's totally fine with him because man oh man there are a LOT of things happening #his main goal is to bring his accidentally killed fiance back from the dead--regardless if he still loves Norph or not anymore #and Norph is currently feeling very very veeery guilty about maybe developing an innocent baby crush on the paladin in the party #who is a good good beautiful boy but has indeed told Norph 'if you become a lich i will have to kill you' so... its complicated haha #im the note taker in our game AND i keep an actual diary from norph's POV in a separate document that could be read at any moment by someon #he already handed his diary over last night for someone to read in his stead his... explaining his scars. he was owned by a devil :)#yknow... the classic!#enough rambling for now i just. i love my sweet sad character sooo much. he's even starting to process his gender crisis! woohoo!

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ultaslodgings · 7 months ago

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Hey guys, guess who finally got to THAT part of the Vengeance route