#BUT GOSH. thank you so much again for indulging me and letting me ramble my HEAD off about my blorbos of all time!! <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[flockrest]

this one's to the lovely who dropped an entire essay back @ me in the inbox! i've decided to format the post such that i can answer some portions directly so none of us get confused, hope you don't mind! anything indented is what you sent in, the rest is part of my response :) it's another doozy but we love those, don't we? asflkdj here we go!

Hi, hope you're doing well! I'd been the anon giving you asks more on Revali's personality and his behavior around the Flock and the Flock's reaction (mostly Tulin's) towards him. Also, the 1.6k did not overwhelm me- if anything made me very happy and overall more curious ahahaha. If anything- thank you so much for accepting and taking the time to answer these asks. Can relate to the unhinged feelings over the lonely rito- I could be hours and hours thinking. That gif of the guy with a board behind full of clues and trying to connect the dots- that's currently me.

hello, welcome back! thank you, hope you're having a wonderful time too!! ♡ also gotta thank you again for sending these in, i genuinely get so excited to see things like this in my inbox!! your passion is so great to see! i'm glad you enjoy my answers, and that they make you all the more curious and open to sharing with me ♡ what a huge mood though afklsjdg this stupid bird just has So Much to him

I've re-read your post various times and even tried organizing my thoughts in paper. And there is so much I want to ask... What caught a lot my attention- was how you spoke a bit of Rito village during & after the Calamity; ofc we don't really get a clear picture of the before even with AoC's light but we do get the clearest view of the aftermath of it (ofc 100 years skipped). I do feel (Pre-Calamity) Rito Village had a larger flock(?) compared to the village we get exposed during BoTW/ToTK events. In a way feels the loss of their Champion & Calamity's wrath- made them all realize the importance of that sense of unity.

yes, exactly! you get it! it's a natural outcome from suffering any huge loss...and while it comes from a place of tragedy, i just. really appreciate how homely and cosy rito village feels in both botw and totk because of it — you get that sense of nobody is genuinely uncared for, even link! and this isn't to say that the other peoples of hyrule don't care for their own, it just! hits different with the rito. like you get the impression that everybody interacts with each other everyday! you literally can't go from the top of the village to the bottom without seeing almost every single resident; they're all practically neighbours! they're all, on some level, friends!

this significance on sticking together as a community is especially evident in totk. seriously, it makes me so emo seeing the kids step up to fill in spaces the adults did not mean to leave behind nor expect them to fill :') and their efforts don't go unrecognised, as they shouldn't be, but oh my god. on my hands and knees over how cherished the kids are in this damn flock!! nekk ( MY BELOVED ) puts it best: "they're the saviours of this village."

and like! they're going through extremely hard times with supply scarcities but still find the capacity to be so generous?? there are more things than i expected lying about that you can just grab — that they'll consciously let you grab! i'm going to need these folks to stop having such a huge collective heart fr it's making me feel A Lot 😭

( and in reviewing cutscenes from both botw and aoc in this context, i think we can safely say that their residential population was indeed bigger pre-calamity. there's more background npcs just chilling about in the memory "revali's flap" compared to most post-calamity cutscenes, and aoc literally shows that there are enough rito present for brigades! the reduced numbers we see post-calamity could simply be attributed to more rito travelling beyond their home and even hyrule, but then the calamity would probably be a big reason for that too )

Brings me back to ToTK, where I noticed most adults in a way spoke highly & relied (at least to me) a bit on Tulin's ability to use wind magic- after all it's been a long time since they ever witness it. But also appreciated how Harth's dialogues which he praises the boy's ability but is concerned of how Tulin is taking certain approach (how at first he goes alone) and his overworking state. Even Teba & Saki recognize their son's abilities but as parents are concerned- I am pretty sure while they acknowledge him as a rito warrior, they also want him to continue living his childhood. (Link does too btw- sorry I don't mention them often)

OH, FOR SURE. you are right on many points here; for sure, the adults have come to see tulin as a young rito warrior in his own right and do trust him to contribute in a way they wouldn't ask of the other fledglings; harth makes it clear that even before link had come, sending tulin to investigate the cloud surrounding the stormwind ark was an option they weren't as opposed to as our introduction to the kid made it seem ( and it's not just his wind-gust technique they're so in awe of either! god. he really has worked so hard!! and everybody can see it! 😭😭 ).

with the worry, i believe the nature of it really depends! it's all completely warranted given how tulin's initial views on how "he doesn't need anyone else backing him up" has apparently "gotten him into trouble more times than [harth] can count" ( which is definitely concerning but also. it can't be anything worse than getting his bow stolen and being left with just his talons for defence in the face of a monster, right? because tulin. tulin. that could not have been your turnaround if you've been doing shit like flying straight into frost taluses solo or something sflkjd ) anyway, but it seems for teba and harth, it's more in a we're worried you're actively sabotaging yourself with your recklessness way.

saki had hang-ups about tulin losing his innocence too early in botw ( "he is such a sweet boy," she says, and it never fails to make me collapse on my knees because he so is and the best thing is he never loses that aspect of himself!! ), but does appear to have come to accept that her son's growing up in totk? i unfortunately don't have a screenshot of the line that indicates this, nor do i remember it verbatim, but the vibes i'm getting from her are i'm worried because you have not learnt enough to be as grown up as you insist you are ( which leaves you ill-prepared for the situations you're trying to fly into ).

ofc it all connects to a primary worry for his safety and his tendency to do way more than anyone would ask of him, but i do think they understand, on some level, that trying to completely stop him is ultimately futile and will only make things worse — in that he'll start deliberately pushing them away when he's only leaving them behind for now.

he's a tween! still a child but only ever getting older, and with how important it is to their culture, i imagine being a warrior isn't as mutually exclusive from childhood as it'd be for us. like tulin's an outlier because he's a prodigy who excessively worked himself to that title, but i don't doubt that compulsory education for growing fledglings would involve, among other things, learning how to at least hunt and defend yourself in the wild! so i don't think it's that they're scared of him growing up too fast at that point in totk — because while he's definitely matured more than his peers in some parts, he is very much still experiencing being a child no matter what he argues in many others aflskdj — just more like...they want him to grow up well. properly, for a lack of better words. WHICH INCLUDES NOT OVERWORKING. oh my god with the overworking

( also oh boy. very glad you brought up link! no need to be sorry! i can't say much on him because i'm not a link writer, though i do ramble about his dynamic with tulin, including how he potentially sees himself reflected in him, over here if you're interested! )

But this also sends me off to another "path" makes me think- What if Revali didn't have this type of support? And it made me think how similar were Revali's and Tulin's in some aspects but how different the outcome were for both- it's a bit tragic at least for me.

YES. YES!! THIS IS IT, YOU HIT IT ON THE HEAD!! i've said it before and i'll say it again: tulin and revali are essentially one support system removed from being each other! they share notable parallels!

just. the fact that harth notices the injuries on tulin's wings from pushing himself to the limits. we don't get follow-up dialogue on that, but there's such a high chance that Words are exchanged between them when link leaves them be because we've seen their relationship. we know how harth cares for tulin, we know tulin is loved for more than what he can do and looked out for. now juxtapose that with revali, thrown out of his own tornado, alone in that moment where he picks himself up as well — but way less likely to have anyone say anything about his wing injuries or to even let someone think he has them. [spontaneously combusts]

i would say more on this and why the sages of totk in general act well as foils to the champions of botw, particularly regarding themes, but that really does feel like a post for another time sdflkjd and it is tragic! it is very tragic! revali was doomed by the narrative in more ways than one :')

I remember the diary where he speaks how the town began praising him for his achievements- that type of validation can be good but to an extreme and left unchecked, it can spiral someone into depending of it. And yet at the end of that diary... he still spoke how he need to continue perfecting himself. Something that AoC made me think in more depth was how almost everyone was "chosen" by destiny (or have a unique ability) and carried a title. But when I look at Revali he seems somehow an abstract to them. Even though in his diary such things were not something he cared for- he mostly valued folks by their responses and actions. (Note: Found cute how he appreciated the scarf and gave one to his bow... It really meant a lot to him// Also I do think Revali appreciated all the Champions including Zelda & Link).

YEAH. YEP. and the way he at first speaks about it, how he contradicts himself in tone despite trying to sound so self-assured — "as one would expect" VS the "i...could get used to this." that follows in the same entry — that's the attention and glory he's always wanted! now he's gonna affix it to the meaning of loving and being loved. which he's also going to attach to his abilities and what he can offer, which is deeply connected to his perceived self-worth. and he's going to make sure he'll never run out of ( tbf real and well-earned ) confidence in that self-worth by constantly pushing himself to greater, more impossible heights. i'm going to put this bird in a washing machine.

he's literally just a guy!! it's one of my favourite things about him, he's Just Some Guy in the group of people who were born into wealth; powers; blessings; respect. they all had their trials, but he earned his place among them from the comparative nothing he started out with and he's justifiably proud of this!

i do think he's also insecure about it at first, tbh ( which he reacts to by laying on the conceit even thicker ), even though his belief in hard work being a supreme indicator of one's "true strength" isn't actually shaken. he is genuinely like i more than deserve to be here but he's also like. and there's nothing you can do about it. don't you forget it. don't you forget it. don't you ever forget it. i wouldn't say it mellows out, but the more he gets to see the champions in action ( thus confirming that they are on his level — that he's fit to make a constellation amongst these that've already been mapped ), the less inclined he feels to explicitly remind them.

and oh my god. the things i could say about what the blue scarf likely means to him. it was handcrafted by zelda, hyrule's princess, for him specifically. it's part of a matching set with other big powers of hyrule. titles and uniform do nothing for him, he claims, but isn't this like being told you are one of us? that you have much to offer? it's "meaningless pomp", he says.

it's also still a gift.

the cloth he ties to his bow is the same shade of blue. i should really make another study post speaking about this more in depth, but i've always interpreted it to be a memento the same way teba and saki's feathers on tulin's quiver are! in tulin's time, this might mean, "these people are always with me." in revali's time, on the brink of a calamity, i imagine it might mean, "( if i fall, you who finds me, ) i belonged with these people."

And yet when Teba & Tulin show up- there is this subtle change on him(?) I wished the game had dwelled a bit more on Teba and Revali. Seeing their interactions was always interesting and in a way, Teba seemed to understand the rito champion. While I felt Teba was that friend or even family member(?) that Revali needed in a way or I could be just over reading, ahaha sorry. But sincerely, I always felt Teba & Tulin were that family or friends- that in a way Revali needed and it makes me think so hard on the "What ifs" and "What could have been"...

what i wouldn't have given for more content and interactions between these three as well!! it's especially fascinating to think about it from teba's side — there is so much recontextualising he has to do and does do about revali, because the one he's grown up idolising and hearing Songs about is uh. well, he's certainly there in the revali he meets, but i doubt he's really prepared for things like how painfully young he is.

he handles it very well honestly asfklsdjg i would not have taken to the realisation that my champion is a warrior hardened only by constant work and the battles he throws himself into, and kind of a fucking brat because he's like the 18yo who thinks being 18 is a decade away from being 17, and died distressingly young back in my timeline with the same grace he gives when he says — of the entire wild experience that is aoc — "this has been enlightening".

you are not over-reading, do not be sorry fr!! i do think revali found an opportunity for companionship in teba that he couldn't find anywhere else when he's built relationships and dynamics he can't change because he has an image to uphold! teba already comes with a dire respect for revali, the knowledge that his story does not end nicely, AND HE'S AN ACTUAL DAD. that sort of thing can bleed into your behaviour and the way you process things without meaning to asflkdjgs

THE BIGGEST MOOD!! wow i'm so glad writers ( it's me, i'm writers ) can create literally anything they want and so can explore these what ifs and what could have beens and give a resolution to a story cut short. this is what my the champions survive au is all about, i hope to have you stay long enough to see these things come out of it ♡

As for the Flight Range & Saki's dialogue; I've always been emo about the F.Range specially when you walk in and hear his theme playing in this music box style... it's like part of his soul is also there but that flame that burnt passionately has subdued and waits to pass to torch to the next generation. In ToTK it made me cry- specially when Kaneli comments (when you pick the bow,arrows) how they been collecting dust... But on the bright side, made me happy that even with the damages- they still hold dearly to the place and is currently being used as training grounds for flight. Which... is what Revali wanted for his people for them to reach the sky and break the limits (or that how I interpreted it).

AUGH EXACTLY, YOU GET IT!! 😭 he never gave it his name but it'll always be his! it's the most melancholic we ever get to hear his theme, full of the wistful yearning that was definitely present but more muted in its botw version! it's lost potential. an unsaid goodbye. revali's gone. but it's also grounds for hope, a tiptoeing hello: his legacy lives on still! i will always go fucking feral over the music in these games!!

YES!! YEAH!! [HOLDING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS] he calls his journal "the diary of revali, the rito legend" BUT HE DOES NOT. GIVE THE FLIGHT RANGE LITERALLY MADE FOR HIM HIS NAME. because it was never going to be something solely for him. he loves his people, he was never going to stymie their prospects! this loser is so good at making me infuriatingly sad AUGH

Re-reading Saki's dialogue with the context you given me- hit me like a ton of bricks. Because it was a new pov. When I first read her dialogue, I took it more of a "Remembering our Champion- one we couldn't help" rather than "commemoration of what he couldn't do". But I also remembered how contrasting are Teba and Saki; Teba being a warrior with pride, reckless at times - who admired greatly Revali's feats and aspired once to surpass him. Meanwhile Saki is more calm and is concerned with the concept of engaging battle- nervous about the training her son was exposed to. So, when re-reading her dialogue I take it more of a wife and mother concerned of losing her companion/husband and son to a similar fate to Revali's.

i swear we are on the same wavelength. yes, exactly!

another thing about revali's landing that makes me so, so deliriously emo — it's a physical permanency given without request: in the best way they can afford to grant it. the rito notably have very little tangible representations of themselves. they don't have statues or effigies like the zora or gorons ( and why would they, when they have Songs and the Windlines and are also probably restricted by their morphology ), and revali does not have any family to be likened to. link remembers him through seeing the landing, which was there, a part of rito village, before it was ever deemed revali's. it wasn't made for him. but they gave it to him! and i'm!! [BLUBBERING]

Revali's love for his people and Rito Village- it breaks me. I can understand that sentiment of loving someone or something from a far (?) - Even when challenging W.Blight and listening to his lines (both english and spanish for me), one can hear that hidden sadness. It's hearing someone who wants to go back home. "But even so, it will always be my home." - the entirety of those lines really hit me so hard the first time I've heard them.

I KNOW. I KNOW. [head in hands] a century has passed and he can't fathom it. "there's no one left who would even know me." he sounds so struck by it, in both the original jpn and english audio, i want to wrap him up in a blanket and toast him like a marshmallow! how much of that is grief? how much of that is longing? how much of that is some strange solace, in knowing he's alone but there's nothing he could've done about it this time?

Also, it makes me glad seeing a Tulin who can see the good in Revali- even if the champion can have a bit of a thorn like exterior. I've read some of the threads! They been wonderful and brought me a lot of joy. It makes me happy to see Tulin taking flight and moving forward. When you mention your student-disciple, are you referring to Kido? I know there were two names but I've lost the post with the cups. I would love to hear about them all!

thank you!! it heartens me to know that you've dipped into some of my ic writing too! i hope you'll continue to enjoy your stay here!! ♡♡

SLFKJKSDLG SO I'VE CHANGED IT IN THE POST NOW, but i meant master-disciple! apologies for the confusion!! kido is an original character of mine who would actually rather fall into totori lake than be revali's student alfjsdkg but that's how it be when you're a kid with a complex, turned-less-than-pleasant background with the concept of revali. if you're interested and up for it, please do give his dossier and study tag a peek! this is by no means a request that you do; it's totally fine if you leave him be!

There so many questions and facts, I would love to talk about... but as I scrolled up- I noticed this is becoming a long one. I am so sorry. I'd been trying to simplify and cut a bit ;-; Plus, I know this blog is a multiverse but focused on Tulin and I don't want to bother. So once again, thank you so much for taking your time in answering these asks. If anything if you ever do the academic-paper length study on lonely birb, I'll run over to read it X'D !!! But I'd been enjoying everything of the meta- the studies on rito's culture and behaviour. Also been curious on your views on Kass taking the role of a bard... Yeah, looking forward to keep reading. Thank you once again.

please, never be sorry for giving me your thoughts, no matter how long they end up being!! i mean it! i enjoyed reading through every line, it means a lot to me that you'd take the time and energy to send something of this scale to me ♡ you did not bother and will not bother, i promise! any of my muses are up for discussion, and so are their people in general! i have an itch to talk about these birds at all times, lurkers like you give me a great scratch ♡

one more time, thank you for your kind words!! i'm so happy to know that my thoughts are received this well!!

KASS MY BELOVED. i'm not sure if you've seen my study on what Songs, Songkeepers, and Scriptweavers are, but if you have, then here's some paraphrased disco ramblings on my Thoughts on him! with how important a role he played in keeping and invoking memories of the champions in botw's dlc, i'm of the belief that he's rito village's primary Songkeeper! ahaha, on this note ( and this is more of a fun roleplaying easter egg than anything ): my botw verse is named Song of the Reclamation — i keep the headcanon that kass, specifically, writes this Song after the game's events tucked away with other misc. details that inform how i run things here :)

this is already long enough, so i think i'll end it here asfljkd but feel free to bounce your thoughts off me anytime! this has been an absolute pleasure, looking forward to seeing you in the inbox again whenever you drop by! thank you!! ♡

[clearaeipathy]

Flowers of Remembrance

BTS Jungkook x reader

_______________________________________

-Trigger warnings: mentions of blood

-Hanahaki au, angst

-female reader

-Thoughts are in lowercase since I can't figure out how to type in italic

-please don't repost on platforms other than tumblr

-plagiarism is absolutely unacceptable, pls let me know first if you're going to write something inspired by my work. If you see anyone plagiarizing my work orwith work similar to mine, i would really appreciate it if you could let me know!

-feedback would be appreciated, thank you for reading!!

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N likes flowers.

She really does. Or that's what she told herself as Claire dragged her around the shop.

Claire is the type of girl who loves to daydream, is a hopeless romantic, keeps seven diaries, gets flustered easily around boys, and likes pink. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's just that sometimes, Y/N doesn't know how she ever put up with Claire's giggly, daydreamy antics long enough for Claire to declare them friends.

It was definitely not on her to-do list to go shopping for bouquets of flowers so that Claire could gift her latest boyfriend something for Valentine's. With the artificial minty smell in the shop, the crowded aisles bursting with succulents and pots, Y/N couldn't help but feel just a bit claustrophobic.

"Ah, Y/N!!! Do you think Jay will like these?"

Y/N barely turned around before a bouquet of daisies were shoved into her face. Claire beamed eagerly, anticipating her reaction. "Soooo, how is it? Do you think he'll like these? Well, actually, now I'm not so sure... because Jay's actually like the bad boy type, but I feel like he's a softie... oh, honestly, he's so dreamy..." She gazed wistfully at the daisies.

don't kill the flowers. you pay for what you break.

just keep breathing and definitely don't snatch the flowers and stomp on them because your wallet will definitely be ruined if you do-

Y/N snapped a bright smile on her face as she waved the flowers away from her face. "Honestly, Claire, it's just flowers. Don't overthink too much.

And shouldn't Jay be the one getting you flowers? I mean-"

"No!! He can't do that! That'd be too sweet of him! I mean, I would LOVE it if he did, but I'm not expecting it, and I really honestly truly just want him to like me more and so I'll give him these and-"

Y/N tuned out the rest of Claire's rambling. She really couldn't care less about Jay, Claire's latest fling, who wore a beanie over his caramel hair every time she saw him and flirted with every pretty girl. Y/N didn't like him much, but Claire was smitten at first sight. While she fantasized about professing her love to Jay, Y/N schemed for ways to avoid third-wheeling on their dates.

It wasn't that she didn't love her friend. Claire, who she met back in high school, who had her back through thick and thin. Y/N just really, really, really hated having to think about romantic relationships. She couldn't afford to be selfish and indulge in romantics while she had to solve so many other things first.

Like how she kept-

no, she'd worry about that later. For now, worry about Claire, who was definitely going to get her heart broken again.

there.

Claire scrutinized a bouquet of poppies. "How 'bout these?" She turned to Y/N and pointed out the flowers.

if fate is real, this is not funny.

Claire squealed in delight. "Those are perfect! Wait... no, Jay's a bad boy. Bad boys don't like pink.

But.... I'll buy them for you!" Claire picked up the bouquet with a flourish and presented it to Y/N. "Think of it as a sign of my friendship to you."

aww.

that's actually... really nice.

Y/N couldn't stop the small smile from blooming.

"You're smiling! Oh my gosh, this is a fullblown smile and not just those smirks!!!" Y/N was met with the huge, classic, contagious Claire smile.

"Whatever, whatever. Just pick out some flowers for Jay and let's go."

After ten minutes of walking up and down the aisles, Claire finally settled on some fancy black roses. She paid for both bouquets with a big, satisfied smile and proceeded to excitedly drag Y/N out of the shop.

"Ok, soooooo me and Jay planned to meet at that one coffee shop with the big teddy bear sign! Oh, do you remember what it was called?"

Y/N sighed. "First of all, how do you not know the name of your date location? The cafe is called The Sugar Cube. And why is there even a teddy bear at the entrance?"

"Because teddy bears are a sign of love, " Claire responded patiently.

"No they aren't."

"Yeah they are."

"No they aren't- you know what, forget it."

Y/N bit her lip anxiously as they walked toward the cafe. It just so happened that there were lots of couples in there. Lots of couples.

Did she mention she didn't like lots of couples?

"Claire, I don't feel so good," Y/N lied. "Maybe I should go home."

please please please don't let me go in there where all those happy couples are-

"You're such a liar," Claire sighed. "Honestly, I don't get it. What is it about Jay that you don't like?"

it's not Jay, really.

"Have a nice time at your date, and thanks for the flowers!" Y/N snatched the flowers from Calire's hand and walked off, flashing an apologetic smile.

Y/N really just doesn't want to throw up and ruin a bunch of dates.

"Hey! You know, I'm sick of your crabby attitude lately! You should be happy for me and Jay!" Claire shouted at Y/N's retreating figure.

i'm happy for you though. i just don't want to make you unhappy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N groaned as she collapsed onto her couch. Her comfy, comfy couch.

Why couldn't everything be this way? Comforting and understanding and accepting.

Y/N laughed at the irony of the thought. She was not comforting, not understanding, and most definitely judgemental. That was probably why she didn't have many friends. She probably ruined her friendship with Claire.

no, said the nagging voice in her head. no, you had lots of friends until he came along. until he came along and ruined everything.

He didn't ruin anything, Y/N internally argued. it was all me.

it was all me that caused me to be like this. it's my fault that i'm so lonely.

because if I had never crossed the line of friendship, maybe he would still be here.

Y/N looked for a vase to put her flowers in. She didn't own any vases, why would she? Maybe a mason jar would be enough. She grabbed the poppies and removed the bouquet wrappings.

"Poppies symbolize remembrance and sacrifice," She read aloud from the tag dangling from her hand.

so sickly ironic.

Y/N chucked the tag into the trash bin and sat back down onto the couch with a sigh. Who knew the flowers that Claire bought for her out of friendship were the same flowers that she coughed out every night.

how did this happen? Y/N chuckled bitterly. It felt like only yesterday he hugged her for the first time. Only yesterday had they watched scary movies and laughed on rollercoasters and made pancakes together. She still remembered the scent of vanilla and sea salt whenever he was around. He'd always blink those doe eyes of his and flash his bunny toothed smile whenever he wanted to get something from her.

They'd been good friends. Childhood friends. He'd always come over to her house after school to study, and wind up playing video games instead. She remembered when he got sick and couldn't come to school, so she brought all his schoolwork over to his house and talked to him while he napped. She remembered the times when he made her laugh so much she'd cried, when he'd scared off the bullies that harassed her, when he bought her flowers after she broke up with her first boyfriend. The thought made her throat tight and itchy.

How long had it been since they wrote silly songs together and drove the popular girls crazy when they hugged? How long had it been since he'd given her his sweater when she was shivering? How long had it been since she crossed that forbidden line and kissed him?

it's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

She should've known he didn't feel that way. She should've known to ask for his permission. But she was just so pent up with emotion and caught in the moment.

No, she couldn't make excuses.

It was her fault that he distanced himself afterwards. It was her fault that their friendship broke apart.

She should've been happy when he found another girl and became happy again.

Instead, here she was, reminiscing over poppies and battling her urge to cough.

Sometimes childhood friends are just meant to be friends.

No, that feeling in her throat was worse now. The coughing was coming back. Even worse, the petals. She could feel them in her throat.

No no no no no.

Y/N barely made it to the toilet in time before she threw up. She heaved petals and petals and petals of pink poppies out of her mouth, each petal more soaked with blood than the last.

All she could hear was her ragged breathing and her beating heart. Well, and the remaining blood dripping from her lips into the toilet.

She wished she had someone holding back her hair. She wished he was holding her hair back like he did when she drank too much and had a hangover the next morning.

Just the thought of his fingers brushing her skin had her choking out more petals. Those pretty pink leaves stained with crimson blood, showering out and floating down into the toilet. How poetic.

She could only blame herself for falling in love with the person she couldn't afford to lose.

What would he say to that? But you'll always have me, he'd beam when she used to lament about another boy she ruined her chances with.

Honestly, screw you.

I love you, Jeon Jungkook.

A grim smirk formed on her face as she threw up yet again into the toilet.

[dove-da-birb]

Oh gosh, for now I'll just use my current favourites.

ABSOLUTE WRECK, Z E R O RIZZ

L e v i a t h a n (Obey Me); the wettest of cats. Would be a wreck before the date, during the date, and a week after the date. It could be something as simple as watching anime together and he'd be a wreck. Would practice talking with Henry 2.0. He would be DYING if he saw me in a suit or a dress. Is shaking in his sneakers and sweating his ass off.

Mild Wreck, Awkward But Endearing

Azul Ashengrotto (TWST); would probably practice EVERYTHING before a date. He even made sure to make it at the Lounge so that everything would go according to plan. Practiced what he was going to say at least five times to himself while getting ready. Would be nervously shaking in his boots, not quite to ass sweating levels though.

Viktor (Arcane); he spends most of his time in the lab tinkering on stuff. Would probably mutter to himself what he was going to say, but would rather listen to my interests or rambling about his current projects; I encourage the rambling. Would be a tad nervous. Also would fumble over his words depending on how dressed up I am. Probably would get clammy hands.

Julian Devorak (Arcana); he acts all suave, but he's a massive dork. Rambles to himself before the date, and Mazelinka would swat him gently on the head with her spoon to get him out of his own thoughts. He blushes easily, so his face would be pink the entire time. Is all talk, zero bite. Melodramatic theatre kid. (If you played his route, you know what I'm talking about).

Just Is Themselves

Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger); CAFE DATE. She would mentally rehearse what she was going to say, and trying her best not to be awkward; she hasn't gone on many dates before. She would smile and compliment the look, the only hint that she really liked it would be the faintest tinge of pink to her cheeks. CHERITZ LET US ROMANCE HER I'M BEGGING-

Jade Leech (TWST); wouldn't overly plan what he was going to say, as he wanted to see how the date would progress if he were just himself. Would complement the look, and we would probably go to something we're both interested in. Wouldn't be nervous, as he wouldn't go on a date if he didn't think it would go well.

Not Nervous, Rizz Master

Grelle Sutcliffe (Black Butler); when she likes someone she goes all in, and doesn't really plan anything in advance. Would gush over the outfit, especially if it matched, or had similar design elements of her own. I would be the nervous wreck in this situation, and stumbling over my words. Just SHE. (I love her so much, it's not funny)

Floyd Leech (TWST); he doesn't really act much different, and wouldn't see a point in getting all nervous and rehearsing lines. The only thing that would maybe be different would be the amount of PDA... and teasing and playful flirting. It wouldn't be overly serious, more so casual and fun, reflecting his own personality.

Rook Hunt (TWST); so he would practice, but not the conversation, just the poetry he made. Laying on heavy with the French compliments (I can understand you, you know). Would kiss the back of my hand, and wink. Again, I would be a nervous wreck in this situation. ESPECIALLY if he did unexpected PDA, like SIR-

There are more, but these are the only ones I felt strongly about. Thanks for the self-indulgent brain rot hours, Auburn. Yes, Leviathan got his own category, and Azul was this close to going into it as well.

a certain fictional fixation of mine has me thinking about first dates SO!!!

tell me!! which fictional crush on yours would be an absolute wreck before a date??? who is shaking in their boots and sweating their ass off??? who is rehearsing what they want to say in the mirror??? who DIES when they see you dressed up?????

some food for thought C:<

[andsheloved]

Hear me out - Zemo with the reader form "Musuem", taking her on a date to one of his own personal artifact galleries.

don't do that, don't give me hope.

hello there anon friend! my museum heart is too in love with this, i don't think that you truly know how thankful i am for this ask, it will be all that i think about for the next few weeks (years, millennia, forever)

thoughts below the cut because holy cow, i have THOUGHTS

.........................................................................................................................

"This is actually from the Paleolithic era!"

Such enthusiasm would usually irk him during times he was trying to be alone, but the genuine, caring tone in your voice didn't bother him.

He turned to see that you were now standing right beside him, and he couldn't remember the last time he had seen a smile so genuine. "It's quite impressive..."

The two of you stood in awkward silence, though he could sense you excitement about the topic from the way you held your hands behind your back and- were you bouncing? He gazed down at your feet, you were actually bouncing with excitement. Like you were doing your very hardest not to burst at the seems and explode into a lecture about the relic that lay before you.

He smirked to himself "Tell me more."

He tried not to break into a full fledged grin as you tried to stifle a gasp, what a shame, he thought to himself, had no one ever indulged you like this? With the way you smiled as you spoke, shaking your head as you waved your arms about, getting lost in the passed-on-from-generation-to-generation folk tale about the artifact, he slowly began to realize that maybe it was for his own indulgence.

He ended up trailing behind you like a lost puppy, exhibit to exhibit, intently listening to you passionately explain each display, occasionally asking questions. And he didn't just ask questions for the sake of asking questions, no, they were actual questions, questions that made you stop during the middle of your vivid retelling of the mass extinction of the dinosaurs and made you actually think for a moment, but you always had an answer, it truly astounded him how knowledgeable you were.

You let out a deep breath, like you had just finished a marathon (which you kind of did, albeit, a bit more of a... educational one.) "I'm sorry if I kept you so long... I tend to ramble..."

Were you actually apologizing for this? Oh, you precious thing, he couldn't help but think that you belonged in one of the display cases, too precious and fragile for the outside world.

"No it was- It was wonderful. It's always nice to speak with a fellow museum lover."

"There's not many of us!" You exclaimed, a hint of sadness in your tone as you did, staring off into the atrium,

He understood, as he looked around the almost entirely empty museum, he could also see it written all over your features, you were lonely.

The truth is, both of you were.

"I actually have a private collection of my own..." He muttered, trying not to sound too snobbish.

Your quiet squeal of excitement filled him with an emotion he couldn't quite place at the moment, joy? appreciation? adoration? being honest with himself, it was probably a combination of the three.

"If you'd like to visit? I have a few new pieces coming in from Italy... Phoenicia." He added, it had been a long time since he had really tried to impress someone, he never needed to, but with you, it seemed he just couldn't help himself.

"That sounds amazing," You replied shyly, "I'm sorry there's really not much more to the museum, I've really enjoyed talking with you."

"It is a shame isn't it..." He paused, a sly grin beginning to form, "Show me again?"

.................................................................................................................

oh gosh, oh my, thank you anon, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, love for you one thousand years! i hope you enjoy!

[yutaholic]

THAT SMASHING THE SIX ENDING?!? WTFFF

This is my one issue with asks - there is no tone. Are you angry shouting or excited shouting? hahaha (more asks under the cut with spoilers. once again if you have not read the final chapter of Smashing the Six, do not read below this line!)

anonymous asked: smashing. the. six. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same after reading that series. it’s one of the only ones i’ve tucked away in my mind to keep checking in on. and as a journalism student, the journalism student trope will always end me but MY GOD THIS WAS THE JOURNALISM STUDENT TROPE TO END ALL JOURNALISM STUDENT TROPES. the end? hello???? i was literally open mouthed staring at my screen. the different dynamics between each guy, the angst, oh my gosh it was all so !!!!! sorry for the ramble but i just wanted to let you know how much i enjoyed the series. i’m probably going to go read it all over again!!!

Hello journalism major I’m glad the story has your approval! Don’t apologize for the rambling I love rambles about my works! Thank you for supporting the story and I really hope you enjoy reading it again. I wonder if you will notice more clues on the second read through hehe

anonymous asked: jesus christ, you're a genius for writing smashing the six. at first i genuinely just thought it would be a fun and playful story about, you know, smashing the six, like a bunch of stories i would read at night for the familiar butterflies in my stomach before i sleep. but story by story went by and you just amazed me every time. it was all so well written and coherent, and every character was there for a purpose besides the one we would expect. you nailed every emotion, every bit of event, every turning point. i'm glad to say that if you ever wrote professionally i'll be supporting you. but for now, thank you. i'm so honored to have indulged everything you've generously put out for us. thank you so much.

Thank you! I honestly intended for this to be a very light and silly story but it took a deeper turn than I planned, but I ain’t mad about it lol I hope to one day write professionally, but I have no clue when that will be. My Mom of all people has been encouraging me to finish my novel recently so maybe I’ll have to 😂

@randomkpopfanatic asked: SMASHING THE SIX SPOILERS I’d like to imagine that Doyoung went through the same initiation process as the girls in order to run neonet. Also I just realized that I haven’t followed you since I’ve kept up with your stories without doing so anyway, but I’m following now

It is canon that SHINee’s Key was neonet before Doyoung and was his mentor, according to me. His initiation process was much different. Remember in the first chapter how reader said people pointed fingers at the computer science division as being involved with neonet because some of them like to be hackers on the side? And they all got busted and some had to leave town? That was the type of initiation the heads of neonet had to do. It would have to involve something with much higher stakes so you know he could handle that much power and pressure.

anonymous asked: SUCH an amazing series, you really outdid yourself!! I think it’s some of the best fanfic I’ve read in a long while. You write tension SO WELL it’s crazy. Again just a rly great series. I hope it’s something you feel really proud of!

I’m very proud of it and I’m also so grateful to you guys for interacting with me throughout the posting of the whole story! Yall gave me a boost every time I needed it. Thank you ❤️

anonymous asked: OHMYGOD DOYOUNG YOU SNEAKY LITTLE DEVIL! THAT WAS HONESTLY THE BEST THING I���VE READ IN A LONG WHILE! Well done! Super hands down! I’m gonna read the rest of your stories and I am VERY EXCITED FOR THE NEXT SERIES!

I was honestly cracking up when Doyoung won the poll and he’s been the biggest suspect since the first chapter dropped. I loved that yall suspected him. By the end of the story, all of you knew he was neonet, but no one in the story knows. I call that a power move hahaha

anonymous asked: smashing the six - an absolute rollercoaster ride of a series!! i love this series of yours so much and even if it's your first it's seriously so well connected and written. i loved how you kept your readers on their toes and guessing after every part and how you built up a sense of mystery around every character. thank you so much for this series and i can't wait to read more from you!!from, an anon who has been your devoted reader for AGES (even when you were still zenyukhei 🤩)

Thank you so much! On that subject I can’t believe my blog will be 2 years old in December! Yall need to start letting me know what you want me to do to celebrate. I really enjoyed keeping you guys on your toes! I usually avoid suspense or mystery in my works because I’m always worried I will spin too big a web that I can’t tie up all the loose ends (which is one of my biggest pet peeves in books/movies/shows) but Heathens gave me a taste of it lol I feel more comfortable writing suspense now 😂

anonymous asked: okay i’d tell you which anon i am but that would involve spoiling so i’ll just say this 😭😭😭 the fact that i was right about all my guesses is INSANE because i was literally pacing around my room eliminating people. and i came down to 2 options that made the most sense but i didn’t think i would be right….. you are a GENIUS luna

It’s such a satisfying feeling when you guess right haha this story was such a blast and I’m going to miss all the fun we had with it but because of that it has made me want to write short series more. Stay tuned! 😉

[koqabear]

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SM YOUR REVIEWS ALWAYS GET ME SO HAPPY

I’ve seen like one?? Cowboy au in the unreasonably long time that I’ve read fics, so writing this truly was a challenge!! I’ve always used content around me (books, movies, shows, fics, music etc) to help me get a basic idea on what feeling I want to convey, so it was kinda hard to write this fic bc half the time I was like ??? Is this right. ALSO the dialogue thing was also completely a subconscious effort on my part, and I didn’t realize it until Yeonjun’s dialogue came as well 💀 i was like wait a minute—

I would’ve loved to have elaborated more on the plot and their stories, but I honestly really liked how the length of this story turned out! It also lets me work on not rambling or dragging something out lmao

The smut was honestly so different from what I usually try to do,,, like, I almost considered skipping it all together. But, it’s also another layer to their relationship; finally getting to release these feelings that they’ve kept to themselves for so long, knowing it’s the first and last time they’ll be able to do this. So yeah, it felt wrong to have it be self indulgent or filthy, so I went for a more quiet and intimate scene instead (which I never really go for.)

oh my gosh…. The original plot… was so much more lighthearted?? It was a summer love type of au, like the mc got stuck in a small, countryside town… think hometown cha cha cha or something… but then I realized that a) it was becoming way too complicated (and corny eugh) and b) cowboys in a modern setting is so… random? It ended up getting me stuck so I was like ok might as well go all in.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such a long review, this had me giggling and blushing fr 🫶

My Life in Your Hands

Song: Cien Años, Natalia Lafourcade, Pepe Aguilar

“The life of a detective hasn’t always been so lonely; you knew how to trust, once. But after being shown the dangers of vulnerability, you choose to keep it safe and focus on more important matters— completing your mission and stopping a certain outlaw that dares open a door you long ago lost the key to.”

criminal!Soobin x detective!reader

Genre: enemies to… reluctant enemies? It’s weird. Mutual pining, angst, smut, he’s a cowboy your honor 

word count: 7.9K

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, guns, death, violence, blood, injuries, pet names (mostly anything with “pretty” in front of it.)

Smut Warnings: no established dom/sub dynamics, they’re just really hurt and angry, marking, possessiveness, dry humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, manhandling, cum eating,  teasing, begging, scratching, multiple orgasms, creampie 

Notes: this turned out so much sadder than I meant it to be?? It was just supposed to be a silly cowboy story, how did I get here… also, the song is really fitting… sad, but fitting. If you’re curious about anything after reading, feel free to ask me on my blog!

The air becomes tense the moment you step into the bar. 

It’s quiet— too quiet, the people seated around you leaning in and whispering secretly as though their conversations were dangerous. The air is foggy and dense with smoke as the customers drink under low lights, eyes shifting from the singer onstage to you, taking your figure in before they’re moving on to the next eye-catching thing. 

This bar is made up of regulars— everyday customers and familiar faces that nod to each other, waving over their favorite waitresses as they ask for another glass of whiskey— and her time, if she’s willing. The sight practically makes you gag, the wooden chair creaking lowly beneath you as you lean back to inspect the place; your hat is low on your head as you slowly scan the room, hyper-aware of every movement that is being made around you.

“How can I help you today ma’am?” The server before you is pretty, her perfectly rouge lips sculpted into an impeccable smile as she flutters her lashes sweetly at you; all you can do is softly dismiss her, asking for a simple glass of water as you try to ignore the confusion on her face. 

“ ‘m just waiting for someone, is all,” your voice is gruff as you find an odd need to clarify your behavior that might seem strange, a slight relief entering your system as you see her brightly nod in understanding before she’s off. 

You’re not here to drink at all, you think somberly, eyes flitting back to the main entrance for just a moment, but you’re not completely lying about waiting for someone. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the loud arguments that continue to build up to your left, the table next to you suddenly becoming fussy over a game of poker. Yet you pay them no mind, the dull glint of the guns in their holsters giving you more than enough of a warning to not spare them so much as a dirty look. 

“Here you are ma’am,” the waitress says, daintily placing down a glass of water before she’s standing straight, clearing her throat as you barely regard her, “let me know if there’s anything else you need.” 

A nod is all you give her— your attention is much more focused on the young man that enters the bar, quietly slipping in as he makes his way toward you. He’s tall, dressed in black jeans and a black leather jacket that contrasts greatly with the white button-up he wears. His shoes click softly to the beat of the singer’s song, arms lazily swinging by his sides as he reaches up to adjust his pristine, white cowboy hat.

Looking down, you allow your own hat to obscure your view as you feel him walk past you, the slight breeze he leaves behind allowing you to catch a whiff of his cologne— then he’s sitting, the loud screech of the chair against the wooden floor making you wince slightly as he allows himself to get comfortable. 

“Gentlemen,” you hear him say, the sight of him nodding to the same loud patrons from earlier being caught in your peripheral vision. His voice is soft and deep, and it only lowers more as he leans into the table, the rest following along as they begin to discuss a seemingly urgent matter. 

You try to listen in— you really do— but you’re unable to pick up on anything, your teeth gritting together in frustration as it all becomes incoherent mumbling to your ears. But then, you hear it— “reward money.”

You’re practically on the edge of your seat as you look forward, seemingly mesmerized by the woman on stage as your fingers drum along absentmindedly to the music. To any outsider, you’d look entirely drawn in by her performance— but it’s far from that. You think your ears might strain from how hard you attempt to listen in, a frown on your face as you’re only able to pick up on a few keywords; they all mash together until he pulls out a heavy key from his pocket, the sound of it a dull thud against the wooden table.

“Careful now boys,” he scolds, immediately placing a protective hand over it as the others attempt to snatch it away. His fingers are slender and careful as they wrap around the item, slowly picking it up before he’s stashing it away safely in an inner breast pocket— briefly, you allow yourself to steal a glance as your eyes hone in on the sight. 

“I worked mighty hard for that little key you saw there,” he pouts, leaning back in his seat as his arms are crossed over his chest firmly, the thick muscle showing even under the layers and dim lighting, “I think it’s time we discuss my payment.”

“How do we know you’re not cheatin’ us?” A man chimes in, a frown on his face as he leans on his elbows, “for all we know, that key could be a fake.”

“A fake?” The man scoffs, laughing softly as his brows raise in bewilderment, “you know I’d never do that you guys.” 

His words begin to become drowned out in your mind, much more focused instead on how you’re going to take that key away from them— and leave in one piece, of course. 

There are five of them now, you calculate, sparing a glance to the rest of the bar, no doubt that there are more of Yeonjun’s goons lying around as well. 

It’s surprising to see that the leader of his own gang isn’t present to take charge of the transaction, but you’re sure that he’s found other ways to entertain himself— briefly, your eyes wander back to the bar and its excess of pretty women; you grimace at your thoughts and its implications. 

Instead, his right-hand man seems to be present in his place— though, you’ve always thought Hueningkai had too much of a short temper to be a proper leader. Even now, your theory proves to be true, the young man glaring daggers at the sly man before them, clearly doubting every word he’s told as his posture remains stiff. 

“Come on now, you know Yeonjun wouldn’t have approved of this if he couldn’t trust me,” the man says, tipping back his hat as his narrowed eyes come into the light, “Why don’t you just give me the money now and hunt me down later if it makes you feel better.” 

You’re in disbelief that this man would be willing to give up this key so easily— whatever they’re offering, it must be more than enough.

There’s not a price that compares to what he has in his pocket, you think, just as suspicious as the substitute leader as you try not to glance back at the table again, it would be foolish to give it up now. 

That key could guarantee an easy life— the key to a hidden vault, filled to the brim with gold and smuggled treasures from the fortune of one of the greatest leaders that ever hit the underground crime scene; The late Kim Namjoon would be fuming if he knew it managed to slip out of his unknown heir’s hands. 

Then again, many speculate that it wasn’t a simple key that would open this vault— he was a great mind after all, and Kim Namjoon would not let such a flimsy security measure stick; it is rumored that the key that is currently slid across that wooden table is only the first step to acquiring the fortune. 

Your job is to see if that rumor proves to be true. 

The sound of a heavy briefcase brings you out of your daze— the recipient doesn’t even bother peering inside as a wide grin is spread across his face, thanking them as they all stand to leave; he doesn’t stand with them, bidding them goodbye and safe travels as he eagerly waves them away— it is silent, save for the sound of his whiskey glass hitting the table after he downed it; clicking his tongue, he sighs.

“Pretty lady, whatcha thinkin’ bout over there?”

His loud call doesn’t phase you; your fingernails dig into the wood as you trace shapes on it, not bothering to look at the sound of a chair being dragged against the wood. Slow, calculated steps come closer to you, and the thud of his briefcase comes first before the thud of his body falling into the chair. 

“Couldn’t solve the puzzle,” you pause, looking up as you catch the way the man’s smile widens as your eyes meet his, “Soobin?”

“Oh please,” he says, tilting his head as he leans forward, hand on his chin as he takes your appearance in, “you know all their brains put together couldn’t even amount to half of mine.” 

You roll your eyes at the thought— he’s as narcissistic as always.

“Too much work then?” You muse, pouting as a finger circles the rim of your glass mindlessly, “you gave it up so easily.”

“You hurt me, pretty girl,” Soobin says, a pout to match yours gracing his lips as he shakes his head, “you’ve always been one to underestimate me.”

“What is it, then?” You say, your voice hardening as you attempt to come up with reasoning for his actions, “what number could they have possibly given you that made you give up that key?” 

He tuts at your tone of voice— completely dismissive of the glare you fix him, he clicks his tongue as he feigns getting lost in thought; it isn’t long before a fiendish smile sneaks onto his lips. 

“There isn’t a price in the world that would make me hand that key over,” he says, leaning in so close that you think he might just pounce at you— but he doesn’t, sending you a wink instead, “Now I have to go before the chase begins.”

He’s taking off before you know it— the suitcase is left behind, and you’re out of your seat before you can second guess yourself. You kick the suitcase open— there’s nothing but paper in there. 

It was a setup. 

The absence of music is suddenly much more apparent to you— there are no workers around, and the silence is quickly filled by the bullets that come your way; the chair beside you breaks to pieces from the impact of the stray shots. 

You’re quick to flip the table on its side— even quicker to run away, only able to take down a few of Yeonjun’s men before you’re running out of bullets, the rest of the patrons much more involved as they partake in the fight that breaks out. The calming music that once filled the air is now replaced by bullets and the dull thuds of bodies falling around you; the familiar bark of Yeonjun’s voice reaches your ears, followed by hurried footsteps and mumbles of Soobin’s and your names. 

“That fuckin’ detective got some real guts, showin’ up and sittin’ beside us like that,” Yeonjun grits out, kicking away any obstacles as he continues his search, firing at every person that attempts to reach for their weapon and aim it at him.

“I know you’re still here, detective!” Yeonjun yells, fuming as he steps on the bullet wound of a patron— the scream of agony echoes throughout the place as you wince at the sound, “come out now and I’ll go easy on you!”

The only other exit is behind the bar in the employee’s lounge— and by now you’ve crawled your way into some random nook that you can feel your limbs beginning to tense, your teeth sinking into your tongue as you try to ignore the pool of blood from a nearby body that is slowly inching towards you.

“We could work together, even!” He muses, eyeing the place as he signals for his people to leave— he’s attempting to convince you, trying to make you feel more secure as the sight of an equal match could lower your guard. 

“We’re both after the same thing, right?” He says, spinning his gun before he’s firing off into some unknown hiding spot— the shot rings a long closer than you’d like, and you’re barely able to pick up on the offhanded oops that Yeonjun lets out. 

“I knew Soobin would cross me,” he sneers, firing again as he makes his way around the bar, “yet I still gave him the benefit of the doubt— sneaky little thing, that one.” 

Slowly, he makes his way to the center of the bar; he stops, surveying the area for any other places you might be. 

“I know how hard you’ve been workin’ to catch him— to catch both of us. How bout this,” he clicks his tongue, staring down at the barrel of his gun before he’s aiming it again, “work with me, and we’ll catch him— together! I’ll let you take all the credit for his capture… and you let a couple of my things slide under the table.” 

The shot is fired— the sound that rips through you is uncontrollable, the bullet that lodges itself in your bicep catching you off guard as you break the skin of your lip. Your attempt to put pressure on the wound is futile, and your mind is racing to find a way to escape. Looking up, you find that Yeonjun is already looming over you.

“There you are, cutie.”

 You flinch at the sight of him kicking away the debris that hid you so well; his foot stomps down, your eyes shutting instinctively as the blood of someone unknown splashes onto your face— the feeling makes you want to gag.

But you hold it all back as you’re being pulled up roughly, a weak groan leaving you as Yeonjun’s fingers dig into your wound— your mind is spinning so quickly that you’re helpless against the way he slams you against the wall, your cheek pressed against it as he restrains you.

“Quite the offer I put up, hmm?” He says, grabbing a fistful of your hair as he’s forcing you to look at him, “I’d take it if I were you.”

You don’t respond to his words; you know better than to make a deal with Yeonjun, but you’d rather have him think he’s got the upper hand while you wait for a vulnerable moment to appear. 

“Tempting,” you remark, frowning at the way his grip becomes bruising on your arm, “if I were as power-hungry as you.” 

“You’re quite the mean little thing, aren’t you?” He sighs, and your head is roughly pressed against the wall once more, “see, if we’re gonna work together, I don’t think I’d be able to put up with all that— that is of course unless you’d like to die instead.” 

The barrel of his gun is cool against your skin— slowly, the hammer of his revolver is pulled, and the glint in his eyes is unmistakable as he appears in your peripheral vision. 

“I know how fond you’ve been getting of our little friend,” he pouts, a mocking tone to his voice as he leans against you, “but I’d advise you to choose wisely here.” 

You’re trapped— he’s got you, and good, Yeonjun knows this— you see the way he grins at you, waiting patiently for you to decide as the pressure on your temple slowly begins to become worse; the innocent smile he sends you as you glare back at him does nothing to make you feel better. 

What other choice do you have? There’s nothing good that can come out of making a deal with Yeonjun, but you’ve come too far to give it all up now— shakily, you clear your throat, trying to find the words that only seem lodged in your throat. 

Yet, it seems to be your lucky day. 

The pressure at your temple is lifted as Yeonjun groans in pain, the shot still ringing throughout the bar as you take this moment to run, kicking his gun away before you do— and without realizing it, you effortlessly make your way to Soobin’s open arms. 

“Can’t believe you would trade me in like that,” you pay no mind to the way his arm wraps around yours protectively, attempting to shrug him off before he’s pulling you back to him. 

“If you go out now, you’ll die. There’s too many of them out there for you to go like that,” He hisses into your ear, leading you to the back exit and tucking you under his frame as he crouches down low, “just follow me.” 

You’re given no choice with the way your blood is beginning to seep through the cracks of your fingers— you need to get it treated, and fast. The sounds of Yeonjun’s men storming in is enough to have you urging Soobin to hurry, the two of you slipping out from the back and into the night sky. 

It’s foggy and humid as the pavement beneath you is still wet from the rainfall, and you’re far too surprised the moment that Soobin forces the two of you to take off into a sprint— quietly sneaking behind buildings and homes of those who are peacefully asleep. 

“Did you come here on foot?!” You hiss, your arm beginning to take a toll on you as your energy begins to seep out— you can hear the familiar clammer of hooves on the streets as Yeonjun’s people begin their search, only half the size as the others were left to protect their leader. 

“Of course not,” Soobin scoffs, and it isn’t long before you spot a horse tied to the post of a closed shop, “Just stationed myself at a safer distance.” 

The horse is sleek and taken care of— all of its equipment is pristine and expensive as Soobin assists you on, ignoring your protests and groans of pain as he scoots up closer behind you. 

“Grab on tight, pretty thing,” he says, gripping onto the reins as his thighs close around yours, “might be a bit of a bumpy ride.”

You don’t get another chance to adjust before he’s taking off, your body pressed against his as you feel the exhaustion of it all begin to take a toll on you. Your shirt is soaked and sticky— yet the pain has dulled down significantly as you fight to stay alert, unsure of what Soobin is planning as you race down empty, lonelier streets. 

The homes slowly become sparse— before you know it, you’re surrounded by trees, the terrain switching from pavement to the unstable grounds of the forest. The ride could almost be considered calming— that is, until a sudden gunshot has your eyes snapping wide open, stiffening up against Soobin’s chest as he commands his horse to go faster. 

“Stupid fucker found us,” Soobin grits, glancing back at the single person who managed to keep track of Soobin and your whereabouts. His shots are getting increasingly closer, and Soobin’s horse can only go so fast— before you can stop yourself, you’re reaching at his hip with your uninjured arm, taking the gun from his holster before you’re twisting dangerously to face back. 

“Hey, hey!” The sound of a gun being fired so close to his ear has Soobin losing control of his horse for a second, sending you a glare that would immediately make anyone wilt. But you ignore it, stretching out your good arm as you attempt to fire at the person chasing you once more, “watch it, are you crazy? You’re gonna fall!” 

You’re practically ready to slip off with the way you’re forced to twist around, Soobin’s arm flying to secure itself on your waist as you two go over a rocky spot— the sudden movement makes you wince as you miss another shot.

“I don’t have infinite bullets either now!” He says, sneaking a glance back before he’s back to rushing his horse, “you better aim right if you’re gonna hit him!” 

“I’m trying!” You bark, gritting your teeth at his insults, “it’d help a lot if you’d shut up!”

You can tell he’s getting ready to say something— but he holds back, cursing under his breath as his grip on your waist secures. Slowly, you take a deep breath; it’s hard to spot your target in such a dark forest, but as you attempt to take a moment to concentrate, you’re finally able to get a clear shot— the relief that floods through you is unexpected as you slump against Soobin’s hold.

“Easy there, don’t go all soft on me either,” he says, twisting you back around before he’s caging you in; he feels warm, the feeling oddly welcomed as exhaustion threatens to creep up on you. Attempting to fight it back, you find it to be much more persistent than before— which is why you feel a tinge of panic when your eyelids become uncontrollably heavy. 

“Just a little bit more,” you hear Soobin say, his voice a muffled mess to your ears, “I’ll patch you up then.”

With the ride much calmer than it was moments ago, you finally find it in yourself to rest. 

✩ ☆ ✩

“Here, slowly,” Soobin’s bed is soft as he slowly guides you down on it, attempting to ignore the way you wince in pain from the awkward angle your arm remains in. He quickly leaves to get supplies to patch you up, and you take a moment to regain your composure. 

It’s strange— his home is cozy, well-decorated, and clearly used a lot. For someone like him, you’d expect something more barren; he has no pictures, no true personal touches that could link this small cabin to him— but it’s intimate nonetheless, the smell of him filling the air and mixing in with the faint scent of a candle that sits at his nightstand. 

You don’t get much of a chance to look around as Soobin quickly returns— his jacket and hat have been discarded, and you take in his appearance as you wince at the state of his white button-up; now coated red on the right side with your blood. Meeting his eyes, you frown— his dyed hair is ruffled messily as he lays down his supplies next to you, placing down a short stool before he’s sitting down in front of you, knees knocking your legs open carelessly as he situates himself between them.

“Your shirt— here, let me…” Slowly, he moves to cut the sleeve for better access; you stop him midway, your uninjured hand hesitantly reaching for the buttons of your shirt instead. 

You really don’t have to, you hear him mumble, slightly panicked, but you shake your head, knowing it’d be much easier for you to take the item off than to have him struggle with the fabric around your injury. It’s quiet, your eyes much more focused on a point behind him as you carefully shrug off your sullied shirt— he’s quick to assist you, his gentle hands brushing against the warm skin of your shoulders as he places the shirt to the side. 

Shakily, your eyes meet his; his eyes are focused as they take in the state of your wound, brows furrowed and his lip caught in his teeth as he winces at how messy the injury has become. It’s oddly tense— you haven’t been this close to Soobin in a long time, quiet and vulnerable as you allow him to take care of you. 

Sweat begins to bead on your skin as he begins to take a hold of your arm, examining the wound once more before he begins the process of trying to take the bullet out— a small warning is all you get before he offhandedly points at a pillow nearby for you to hold onto. 

Instead, your hand immediately finds purchase on his thigh— it’s instinctive, and you don’t stop to gauge his reaction as your fingers hold on desperately, gritting your teeth as you bear the uncomfortable feeling of Soobin taking out the bullet.

It’s quiet, but you can hear soft words of praise and reassurance fall from his lips, kind words that serve to encourage you as he finally takes the small bullet out; the piece is carefully put onto a tissue that is left to be discarded. You attempt to remain silent as he cleans your injury, clearing off the dried blood that ran down your arm as he softly brushes the wet cloth against your skin. It isn’t until you’re all clean that he begins to apply alcohol to it as well. 

“Shit— sorry,” you grit, startled by the sudden sting as he immediately pulls away, whispering an apology of his own before hesitantly tending to you again. After a moment, your body becomes relaxed in his hold once more, allowing him to gain the confidence to tend to you freely again. 

The stitches don’t feel too bad; he’s awful skilled, the action quick and effortless as you keep quiet through it all, the feeling of the gauze wrapping around your bicep and applying subtle pressure to your wound finally giving you the relief you didn’t know you needed. 

Soobin looks more at ease as well— and before you can pick up on what he’s doing, he’s taking your uninjured hand gingerly, his fingers delicate as he holds onto your wrist lightly. The cloth in his hand is warm as he wipes you with it, thoroughly taking each of your fingers as he wipes off all the blood that managed to cake on; then, it slowly moves up to your face, cleaning off the blood of someone unknown as your eyes meet Soobin’s; your lips part as you stare at him, unsure of what to do as he remains concentrated on his task.

He looks so different from before— there’s a heavy look in his eyes, as though the life he’s lived has been filling itself with nothing but regrets. And as you take in the way his hand lingers, carefully caressing your cheek, you wonder bitterly if this was one of them.

“Why are you doing all this?” You ask, your voice much softer than you expected it to be— there’s no more energy to be malicious to him, only exhaustion and a burning curiosity left in you as you watch him hesitate to answer. 

“I couldn’t let them take you like that,” he says, a frown settling on his features as he slowly pulls away— the absence of his touch feels jarring, your hand curling into a fist as you listen to him speak, “they would’ve used you to get what they wanted from me.”

“What, too scared that I would’ve caught you?” You quip, oddly angered that even now, all he can think of is himself. You don’t know why the words feel so poisonous on your tongue, the anger that ignites inside you only stirring more as you watch the way he becomes angered by your accusation. 

“They would have a hold of my greatest weakness,” he grits out, as though admiring it aloud brings him another wave of anger. His eyes stare at the tight fist that rests on your thigh— then they meet yours, narrowed and pointed as his lips turn down in distaste.

“You.” 

The word feels like a punch to the stomach— you can feel the air leave your lungs as you stare at him, unsure of what to make out of his words as he stares at you with that same fire in his eyes, a fire that is unwilling to back down on his claim.

His greatest weakness— you. And he would be damned if he let Yeonjun of all people lay their hands on you, free to do as they pleased as they used you for leverage— or worse, used you to kill him. 

“Stop spouting nonsense,” you say, an unknown rage blooming within you as he regards you with such a fire, “you showed me just how much you cared the day you turned your back to our work and all we stood for.”

The memory is enough to leave a bitter taste on your tongue; you can tell the mention of it is enough to have him back down like a wounded puppy, unsure of how to respond to that. 

You trusted Soobin, once— and you learned your lesson when he pushed you out of his life, turning to a life of shadows as your partner you once trusted your life with became no better than the everyday criminals you went after. The humiliation of it all set deep into your bones— a deep grudge that reared its head even now, when Soobin seemed to be ready to come back to ask for forgiveness. 

“___,” the sound of your name on his lips is bittersweet. His effect on you is unrivaled, a fact you wish wasn’t true as you attempt to hide the way the sound sends electric shocks through you. He’s somber, his eyes searching yours in hopes of breaking through and finding an emotion akin to his, “you have no idea how much I cared.” 

“I have full access to the vault.” His words clear your mind out effortlessly, “I’m the heir.”

The heir to the fortune— the new leader of the crime syndicate Kim Namjoon spent years building up under the shadows. The man before you was not who he claimed to be— he never was. Hesitantly, he takes your hand— he’s shaky, fingers lacing with yours as he leans into you, long legs knocking against yours as the space he made for yourself becomes wider. There’s a new emotion that coats his face, free and unadulterated as he looks deeply into your eyes.

“Join me.” His words are breathy as you stare at him, confused, angry, hesitant. “You’ll never have to worry about anything again— I could care for you.”  

Your hand feels like fire in his— you pull away like you’ve been burned, disbelief on your face as Soobin stares at you like a scolded child. Doe eyes soft and shining under the soft lights of the lamp on his nightstand. 

“I—“ it’s hard to speak— why is it so hard? The words are stuck on your tongue as you stare at him, the man you cared for so deeply, offering a chance to start over. A chance you’ve dreamed about since the day he disappeared from you, a chance that you never allowed yourself to properly dream of, and it’s finally being presented to you.

“I can’t.” 

Soobin knew your answer before he asked— there was never any other option for you. But the pain, the confusion you feel building within you is much more unexpected, your mind fogging as the reality of it all begins to set in. 

“This whole time…” you begin, brows furrowed as the conflicting emotions form a torrent within you, wild and uncontrollable as your mouth enables them to be let loose. 

“You knew everything. What his group was doing, where he was, how to catch him—“ your eyes flick back to his, wounded and sharp in hopes of getting him to the same level as you, “you knew it all. Yet you lied in my face, led me on whenever I thought we finally had a lead.” 

“And yet you beg me to believe that you still care for me?” 

He shakes his head, reluctant to give up as he attempts to reassure you again. 

“I’m sorry— I wasn’t in control of my life back then. I never meant to hurt you,” his attempts to dissuade your feelings are futile, for his claims do nothing but egg you on even more. 

“The moment I leave this cabin,” you growl, glaring at him as you speak, “we will be nothing more but enemies. Forget everything about me. You’ll become my one target from this moment on.” 

A new resolve has formed on your face— Soobin knows you’ll never hate him more than you do now. 

“Your life will be in my hands.”

“The moment you leave this cabin…” he whispers, determined to see you crack, for even a small moment longer, “I will no longer hold back on you. My sweet killer…” 

He’s so close— why would you let him get so close? His lips are practically brushing against yours, eyes lidded and low as he leans towards you, your head tilted down as his puppy eyes continue to shine, even now. 

“Give me one last memory to keep of you.” 

The feeling of your lips crashing against his is unexpected; but the anger inside you is too hot, too rapid for you to simply leave like this. You’ve lived your life filled with regrets— what’s one more going to do to you?

Soobin’s hum of surprise is muffled by your kiss that threatens to take him whole— your yearning, so eager and greedy, is like a switch to him; he’s chasing after you, leaning into your touch desperately as his hands meet the skin of your bare waist. His touch leaves a trail of fire, caressing and smoothing out the skin as he feels every scar, sees every bruise, any detail that he might be able to ingrain into his mind. 

Your back sinks into the mattress— you’re unsure of when Soobin decided to become so greedy, the kiss rough as he allows himself to bite at your lip, his hair soft against your face as a trail of kisses and marks are left along the column of your neck. His touch will be left for weeks to come— he’s determined to make it so, determined to make you have to face your reflection and the memory of him, the memory of his want for you. 

Tangled limbs, pressure against your body— the act is messy and desperate as Soobin has half the mind to leave your injured arm as undisturbed as possible, supporting his weight on one arm as he allows the other to explore your body; trailing up your waist, fingers tracing along the expanse of your chest, ready to take your bra off with ease. Your hand is careless as it rips away his buttons, desperate to have him the same way he has you. 

His chest is smooth and sturdy— his muscles are firm under your touch, honey skin littered with bruises and scars that have your fingertips tracing along them, briefly wondering what stories might belong with them, the memories he carries engraved within him. 

His hips are slotted desperately between yours; you didn’t realize how he was able to get into such a position so easily, his hand already venturing from your breasts to cup your face, hovering above you as he whispers to you, his voice breathy and sultry that it takes effort to listen to what he says. 

“I’ve wanted to have you like this longer than I can remember,” he says, his eyes meeting yours and conveying words his mouth refuses to speak. Close. Needy. Vulnerable. “It hurts to think that I’ll be losing you again after this.” 

If you had any fight with his words, it died the moment his hips rolled firmly into yours. The breath that escapes him is shaky and labored, and he’s unable to control himself as he finds his mind loosening, words spilling beyond his comprehension as the pressure of his body against yours makes you rock back into him. 

“I’ll be damned if I ever let Yeonjun have you like this,” he says, fingers digging into your hips as his thrusts become harsh, uncalculated, and desperate, “I would’ve killed him.”

A small groan leaves your mouth at that— his eyes that once sparkled under the light, pleading for forgiveness, hardened into something foreign, wild and needy as he took what he could from you, the feeling of him hard and pulsing against you making your head fog with need.

Adjusting his position, he stands— you feel your body moving along with him, hips dangling dangerously over the bed as he holds you there, hands already working to get your pants undone.

“What makes you think he would’ve done any of that?” You ask, breathless as his sharp eyes meet yours, filled with an emotion you hesitate to pinpoint. 

“That man would fuck anything that moves,” Soobin growls, your body bare before him as he begins to kneel, your legs thrown over his shoulders carelessly as you gulp at the action, “I can’t imagine what he’d do to a pretty thing like you.”

He’s good at rendering you speechless— that is, if his mouth sucking firmly on your clit had anything to do with it. He’s desperate, eager to have you fall apart on his tongue as he feels your body jolt at the stimulation, a hand grabbing at his hair to bring him closer still. 

His fingers that slip through your entrance has your mouth falling open and your eyes fluttering shut, a small whimper slipping out of you as he groans, his mind reeling at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him, pulling him in and asking for more. 

Soobin can’t help but wonder how you would feel wrapped around his cock, your arousal like an aphrodisiac to him as he finds himself growing needier, tongue messily laving at your clit as his fingers speed up the process, thick and long as a third soon finds its way inside. 

Your body is tensing quickly; the pleasure is overwhelming, the sight of having Soobin kneeling before you, desperate and lost in your pleasure as his eyes flutter open, meeting yours boldly has your thighs squeezing around his head uncontrollably. Your hips are left in his control as his hands grip onto them tightly, forcing you into him even more as his warm lips wrap around your clit once more, sucking and tongue flicking at the bud in hopes of feeling you fall apart in his hold. 

Unexpectedly, his name leaves your lips; it’s a sweet mewl that has him painfully aware of how hard he’s become, the bulge constricting against the fabric of his pants as he can only listen to the sweet sounds you make—and hope that he’ll have you coming apart on his cock soon as well. 

Your hips buck against his face mindlessly— it’s too much, yet not enough, his fingers thrusting roughly and curling to hit that spot that makes you see stars. The pleasure is hot and blinding as you feel it beginning to build up, your mouth agape as moans and cries to keep going cascade through you like a waterfall. 

His name becomes a prayer on your lips. Soobin. Soobin, please, you whimper, your good hand reaching down to tangle itself into his hair once more. His touch is addictive, and before you can realize what’s happening, you’re coming undone, his pace never faltering as he allows you to ride it out, your hips rolling carelessly on his face. 

You’re left a panting and weak mess in Soobin’s hold, your head sinking back into the mattress as you feel his fingers slowly slip out of you— a weak whine escapes you as his tongue cleans you up, running along your slit and teasing your entrance before he’s parting from you. Your head tilts as your eyes meet his, his eyes blown out and filled with lust as his tongue and lips slowly wrap around his fingers— cleaning your essence off it slowly, your mind swirling at the sight as you quickly find your pussy clenching desperately against nothing. 

 “My pretty girl,” he sighs out, his fingers making quick work of undoing his jeans, “you have no idea how badly I wanted to take you with me all this time. Years ago, throughout all this time, even today.”

He’s painfully hard as his cock finally springs into view— his hand is quick to wrap around it, his tip leaking and flushed as a thumb runs over it; his body jolts at the feeling, slowly fucking into his fist as his eyes don’t leave yours for a second. 

“Why didn’t you?” You breathe out, legs locking around his waist and pulling him eagerly. Your thighs are so warm and soft around him, his tip teasing your entrance as he fucks himself against your pussy, never pushing through enough to enter you. He can feel your wetness coating him, fogging his mind as his own arousal mixes with yours, the sight so dirty and desperate that he feels his hips buck in need. 

“I don’t know. I should’ve begged you for forgiveness the moment I first saw you,” his words, you realize, are genuine— your lidded eyes clear for a moment, and the conflicting emotions from before attempt to rear their head once more. You gulp, words dying on your tongue as his tip begins to prod at your entrance. 

“Beg for it now. Apologize,” you breathe out, a hand placing itself over his as his head snaps up to meet your gaze. Your nails dig into his forearm as your thighs lock around him, your gaze angry and demanding as you roll your hips into him in frustration, “since you seem so desperate for me.” 

His gaze softens— hesitantly, his lips part, tongue running over them as his tip finally breaches inside you. The stretch is unexpected, your walls immediately closing around him and attempting to pull him in as he subtly leans towards you. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Your arm slides from his forearm to his bicep— you’re pulling him in, his other arm coming down to support his weight as he leans over you. This is only the beginning, your eyes say, sharp and narrowed as you prompt him to continue. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, slowly pushing inside you as he stops to allow you to feel every vein, every detail, rubbing along your warm walls and curving as his hips buck unintentionally. 

“I was a fool to leave you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since,” it’s sincere, you can see it in the way his expression furrows as he continues talking, frustration laced in his voice as his hips finally meet yours, pressing firmly as he bottoms out. 

Your fingers dig into the skin of his bicep— roughly, you pull him down, his face hovering above yours, dangerously closer as you watch his adam’s apple bob nervously. You don’t have to say anything— the fire in your eyes is more than enough for him, the room silent save for the sounds of your breaths that intertwine as his hips slowly begin to move, barely pulling out as he relishes in the feeling of being inside you. 

“I’m terrified of losing you again,” he admits, his confession shifting into unknown territories as his mind fogs up once more, “I’m sorry I couldn’t face you sooner.”

You say nothing— all you can do is scan his expression, his eyes that are lidded and filled with so many dangerous emotions. In response, your fingers tangle themselves in his hair— bringing him down to you as your lips meet him in a hungry kiss. 

His hips don’t hesitate to pick up the pace; the feeling of you clenching around him is driving him mad, his cock managing to hit a spot that has your mouth falling open, lips left victim to Soobin’s teasing bites, the feeling of his teeth sinking into the bottom flesh making you whimper uselessly against him.

He may be the one that’s pounding into you restlessly, leaving your mind blank and his name on your tongue, but you’re the one that truly has him intoxicated. He wants to feel you, all of you, your chest that rubs against his driving him mad as he becomes hyper-aware of how much he can feel you against him. You’re practically sinking into the bed with the force he drives himself into you, skin slapping against skin and his pelvis smacking against yours as your arousal only increases with every action. 

He’s wrapped tightly around your finger, and the last thing he wants to do is let go. 

“___,” your name is like honey on his lips, the sound of it rolling off his tongue so effortlessly that he can’t help but find himself saying it again, and again, a mantra of his own as he feels the way you recklessly fuck back into him, nails digging into his shoulder before they’re scratching down his back— the stinging sensation that’s left behind only serves to spur him on, the thought of having your scars on his body for days to come driving him mad. 

“I don’t want you to think of anyone else,” he says, breathless against you as your arm throws itself over his shoulders, fingers tangling themselves in his hair as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. 

“Think of me every time you look at yourself in the mirror, when you see the places I touched,” his hand trails down to your hip, fingers squeezing the supple flesh before it moves to circle your clit, your legs tightening against him before you're bucking your hips wildly, “when you touch yourself, wish it were me that was there for you.“

“No one will ever be able to care for you like I do.”

His cock is abusive against the spot that drives you wild. It reaches it with ease, hitting it thrust after thrust. One, twice, three times. Then you’re coming undone, a weak whimper all you can manage as you wrap around him like a vice. It’s enough to set him off as well, a soft groan escaping him as his hips struggle to keep a proper rhythm. Your bodies move together in harmony regardless, riding out each other’s highs as the warm feeling of his cum fills you, never-ending as it slowly begins to leak out before he’s fucking it back into you.

It’s silent, and neither of you can muster anything to say as you’re both catching your breath; Soobin’s face quickly buries itself into your neck, his lips ghosting along your skin as he speaks. 

“Stay,” he pleads, arms slowly circling your waist before you’re pulled into him, warm and secure in his hold. “Just for tonight. Stay a while longer.”

Softly, his head moves along your shoulder, his hair feather-like as it brushes against you. His lips graze a trail along, leaving a gentle kiss on the shoulder of your injured arm. 

“After tonight,” you breathe out, your hand traitorous as it caresses his scalp gently, the memories of your past and your moments together reviving a dangerous feeling, “I’ll forget everything about you— we’ll be nothing more than enemies.”

Softly, Soobin nods; his gaze never meets yours, the two of you adjusting in his bed as he allows you to rest on his chest. You’re a pile of tangled limbs, hearts beating in one as you wonder if you could’ve had this years ago, free of complicated emotions and regrets. 

“If I am to die by anyone’s hands, it will only be yours,” he says, hand encasing yours as he brings it to rest over his heart. “Promise me it will be so.” 

A game of death— you’ve always been incredible at your job, and there hasn’t been a single mission you haven’t completed. But, feeling him under your palm, warm and beating for you, you find the words stuck in your throat for a moment. 

“I promise.”

The cabin falls into complete silence as the feeling of you finally in his arms lulls Soobin into a deep sleep; he’ll think of this night for years to come, if he’s able to.

His words are nothing but a lie— he’ll never be able to forget you. 

And after tonight, neither will you. 

[morathicain]

L M A O mora that teaser really was a trap💀 no but really i don’t even know where to begin? this show has been such a breath of fresh air from beginning to end and that just warms me to my core. and it’s like, if we got angst or an actual breakup this ep i still would’ve ate it up cuz it’s p’aof and i doubt he’d let us down w his storytelling, but we got happiness instead! we got to see that they spent those 4 years still very much together and very much in love and i just!! to know that pran & pat faced their problems together, to know that after getting together they stayed a healthy couple, even through the tough times? i’m soaring rn i swear. and i love me my angsty dramas (especially when they’re done well) but we need more of these feel good shows too!! shows where the couple is happy and don’t have to lose more time/years to misfortune or hurt or whatever! ahhhh😭

and inkpa! ink’s basically a part of their family at this point like seeing how comfortable she looked in their home?? my heart! also side note but pran looks so good!! i mean he always does but this hairstyle on him! cuz when they were in the bar? idk what they were feeding him but he looked Good As Hell i’m losing my minddd.

and???? that scene in [4/4] when pran’s playing guitar for pat had me ready to collapse like they’re so in love i can’t do this! there’s literally only so much i can take! i’m also glad we got to see one last episode of Pat Wants to Sleep Over cuz the work he puts in whenever he’s being kicked out of pran’s room lmaooo and that chaotic ending is so Them like truly an a1 way to end the series alskdjlsk

p’aof really delivered w this show because the bar he set is high! if it wasn’t late already i would’ve had my own little rewatch party cuz my heart needs it lmao. and i’m gonna miss reading your responses😭 i loved reading them so much and getting to understand your take on each episode, literally so comforting (esp your rants!!) thanks for indulging my ramblings and for keeping me company these past weeks🥺 i’m sure i’ll come screaming back to you eventually~~~ hope you enjoyed the episode and you’re have an amazing day/night~~ <33 -🥞

Pancake!!! Aahhhhhhh! I feel you so much and my brain can only keysmash and be happy and giddy and so overwhelmed!

They really gave us this trailer and it shouldn't have surprised anyone that it was a trap all along lmao I do hope P'Aof had some fun time reading some freak outs XD But yeah, even if they'd been apart for 4 years, I would have taken it, bc as you said, I trust P'Aof and it would have made sense as a decision. But to know that they decided to MAKE the world accept that they're in love? That they'd stay together no matter what? The way they spent all their important moments with each other? Aaaaaaaah, this is making me so happy!

P'Aof truly delivered and set a new standard. Tbh even if the last episode hadn't been so beautiful, I would have still loved the show because of all those moments they gave us. And they still topped that!

I do love my messy gay cockroaches and if a couple has a hard time finding to each other but you're right. Pat and Pran showed how it's done. How you can stay true to yourself and stay together and not break with everyone else. Their parents lied to them their whole lives and have left any right to be told the truth. Gosh, their faces when they lied so expertedly XD also, this makes their goodbye right before they fake broke up, so damn dramatic! Ohm shed his fucking TEARS for that! Q.Q

InkPha still going strong was so beautiful to watch and I loved how good it was, how Ink was a part of the family, as you said it. And she's now also a force against the dad. Like, he has everyone on Pat's side and they all have fun together while he tries to stay grumpy. I also think that once their parents realised there was still more going on, over the years, they also realised that if they made a big deal out of it again, they'd lose their kids. And this time for real.

The ending was truly deserving of them and their horny but chaotic love story, omg. Loved it. What a great way to go XD

You're making me emotional, ah! I love seeing them be happy, but I'm sad that it was the finale now. Maybe the rewatch can start next fri-gay and it will never stop? I'm also going to miss your asks and rants and I'm so thankful you honored me with those and enjoyed my rants. Thank you so so so so much! <3333

I wish you a wonderful day/night and hope the finale happiness will stay some more with you =^^= take care and feel free to come by to rant about whatever show you want to <3

[emilycollins00]

Two faces of the same coin

Pairing: Tenma x ghost-looking! reader Part 1.

Hey! I had this awesome ask from sadly ages ago which I appreciated a lot bc honestly, just the fact that someone sent such a detailed thing?? My heart.

Request: (...) Tenma finds someone who looks like they got out straight from a horror movie- They could literally pass as a ghost anytime of the day! But once he talks to them they are just an extremely chill introvert, and actually really thoughtful and considerate? (...) So yeah, imagine Tenma who once was shitting his pants whenever that person was around slowly starting to enjoy their presence and even better: fall for them.

Enjoy! 💕

.

Classic horror icons and other disturbing creatures share common characteristics, pale skin, dark, sunken eyes, hunched posture, sharp teeth, and the like. These images inspire fear and revulsion in many with good reason. And while Tenma would insist he was okay with them- he really was and Yuki should really just shut up- he wouldn’t go out of his way to watch or read about that specific genre. And he was okay with that.

“A ghost in the school?”

He tried to not sound as worried as he internally felt, his brain still processing what Taichi was talking about while waiting for their drinks to drop. The redhead nodded unaware, eyes fixed on the vending machine “Yeah! You haven’t heard about it before?”

“W-why should I? It’s stupid to think paranormal stuff like ghosts exists anyway.”

With a clank, both drinks finally fell. Taichi crouched down to retrieve them humming happily, handing one of them to the summer troupe leader and keeping one for himself.

“I don’t know man, it’s kind of cool!” he crossed his arms behind his head, resuming their walk and looked behind. “What about you, Juza-san? You seen anything?”

The purple-haired boy considered it lazily, but ultimately shook his head. He didn’t seem too interested in the conversation anyway, and Tenma was pretty sure the main thoughts running through his head were today’s melon bread from the cafeteria.

It had been a while since their Ouka-high group had been able to have lunch together.

“Did you see? That Sumeragi Tenma is back!”

“Gosh, he looks so handsome!”

“Wait- don’t push me!”

“I heard he’s going to be a possible cast in that famous saga-”

“Are you serious?”

Whispers and tiny squeals kept circling them as soon as they entered the boundaries of the canteen. And while Tenma barely notices it at first, he can definitely see Juza’s stance going more rigid and Taichi’s eyes glowing at the attention received.

“I’ll go get our lunch” the golden-eyed teen announces heading towards the queue, hands buried in his pockets. He motioned Tenma with his chin. “You wanted set B right, no carrots.”

“Uh? Well yeah, but I can-”

“S’okay, you two go find some seats” he shrugged, looking around. There weren’t many spaces to start with and he’d honestly prefer focus on the food rather than the stares. “It’d be difficult to keep ‘em free with just one person anyway.”

“Roger! Come on Ten-chan, let’s go!”

.

.

.

“Aw, man. Everyone has their eyes on you as usual!” Taichi looked around, still indulging himself with all the people that were staring at them, some more blatantly than others.

How he didn’t get bored of mentioning it every time Tenma didn’t know, though he was low-key grateful. Not many people enjoyed being part of those types of reactions from a crowd- Juza for example-. When they finally managed to find some empty seats, Taichi placed his own bento on the table visibly excited. Tenma frowned.

“Since when did you start preparing lunch by yourself?”

“Ah, this?” the redhead laughed proudly at his confused look “See, I’ve been practicing my cooking skills! Tsuzuru has been super cool teaching me how to prepare some dishes for my siblings- plus, I’m sure I’ll get the attention of girls if they see my new talent!”

“Right…”

Tenma couldn’t decide whether he should make a comment as he took a long, thoughtful sip from his own juice can. Taichi’s lunch was a side of string cheese, a broken omelet, and some semi-burnt rice and it just didn’t seem very tempting.

He ultimately chose to leave it aside. Omi would surely know soon enough.

“So, uh, Taichi.”

“Yeah?”

He coughed, leaving aside the can and resting his back on the chair nonchalantly. “N-not that I care about that rumor, but- where is that ghost supposed to be?”

“Ah, the one we talked about? Mmm…” the autumn member caressed his chin, closing his eyes in deep thought. “No one really knows. It’s been spotted in pretty much all parts of the school” Tenma’s stomach sank at that. “But I’ve heard it likes room 1001 for some reason, you know, from the old side of the school? No one really uses it anymore- guess it makes sense!”

The redhead took again the chopsticks and started digging on the rice carefree.

“R-right.”

Tenma shook his head. Cool. Great. Now he knew which side of the school he would never even try to approach at least.

“Tenma-kun!” a female voice, not familiar, made him jolt from his seat. When he looked up a girl followed by two others were are already making themselves comfortable on the chairs next to them- one of them even deciding to sit on the table. “Hi there!”

Third years.

"Hi” he repeated.

“We saw your appearance in that new series, it was unbelievable!”

“Are you going to be a recurring character there? I’d love if you could ask one of the leads to sign a shirt of mine!”

He simply showered them a practiced smile. He could already tell what type of fans they were. It wasn’t something out of the ordinary- people approaching him about his shows or to ask for favors- and honestly, it was better not entering in that dangerous territory. “Thanks. Nothing’s been said yet, that’d depend on the company. I’ll be counting on your future support.”

They instantly beamed at his reaction. “Of course!”

One of them clapped her hand together “That reminds me, when is your next performance in that theatre company you play? I so want to go see it again!”

“Ah, that will take a while. We just finished a month ago so next up is the autumn troupe” he motioned Taichi with his head, a proud, real smile featuring his face this time “These guys have been going all out, you won’t be disappointed.”

“O-of course!” the shortest Ouka high student practically jumped into the conversation. “If you all want, we could ask for a few tickets from our-!“

“But Tenma-kun is not in that troupe, right?” the girls looked at each other confused. As if it wouldn’t be something it’d cross their minds to do, had the child actor not participated before.

“W-well, no but…”

“Plus, the summer troupe is hilarious! I kinda prefer those types of performances, you know?”

“I totally get you!”

From his peripheral vision, Tenma could register Taichi’s face growing red- a strained smile before sitting back on his seat, not trying to add anything to the conversation anymore.

Smile. Remember to smile.

“…We all give our all on those performances, I don’t think it’s fair if you have just watched the summer troupe. You’ll definitely enjoy it if you give them the chance.”

“Really?”

“I mean… If Tenma-kun says so maybe we could go take a look.” one of them gave a chuckle, playing with their hair. “You think we could ask you to get us some tickets for-?”

“If you are not eatin’ you should leave.”

“Uh? Can’t you see we’re-” the sentence died in their lips as soon as they turned and encountered Juza. Not that he himself was proud of his reputation, but during these situations at the very least it paid to see they knew who he was.

“Move.”

The resulting glare was terrifying in its intensity, and the retreat took no longer than a few seconds. No one mentioned anything afterward- Juza’s calm and blank expression coming back as he sat down, handing the summer leader his lunch and squinting down at Taichi’s.

“What the hell are you eatin’.”

“Hehe it caught your attention too, right? You see…”

Tenma observed them. They were acting as if nothing had happened. Not so long ago people tended to stay away from him for those same reasons, so it still took him a few seconds to find the words again- For feeling this relieved at their reactions.

He left the chopsticks aside. “Sorry this... keeps happening."

They momentarily stopped the conversation, sharing a silent look before turning to the teen actor facing the table in awkwardness.

“I-It’s okay, Ten-chan! They would obviously be more interested in watching you than an unknown performance” Taichi laughs and scratches the back of his hair. He seemed to be fine- a bit uncomfortable, but fine. “Besides, that just means we have to work even harder to be recognized, right, Juza-san!”

“Yeah, don’t get stuck thinkin’ ‘bout it. We ain’t losin’ any time soon.”

“Anyway Juza-san, are you sure you’re okay with only melon bread and pudding for lunch? I can give you some of mine!”

Juza didn’t verbally answer Taichi’s offer, merely staring at the burnt rice being held in front of him with skepticism “…nah. I’m okay.”

Taichi frowned at his own food, tilting his head confused. A few seconds later, he gave it an ultimate shrug before going for one more bite, Juza doing the same with his own lunch. Tenma scoffed at the view, trying not to smile amusedly. The autumn troupe really was made out of beasts.

“If Sakyo-san saw what you two are eating he’d skin you alive, you know.”

“Why.”

“What do you mean why, Juza-san you can’t expect-“

"Ah, that reminds me!” Taichi suddenly rambled, mouth full of rice “We should totally go to the arcade before we head up to the dorm. I heard they have these new games that are supposed to be super exclusive!”

Tenma winced “Can’t. I have a meeting with my homeroom teacher after classes.”

The other two replied with a similar expression.

“I almost forgot you came from a big shootin’ and all. We’ve been seein' you in the dorm pretty much everyday.”

“Yeah! Geez I always say I envy you, but dealing with that after working must suck!”

“You tell me…”

Taichi shook his head, giving him both thumbs up “It’s okay, we can go another time. Good luck though!”

.

.

.

“You can sit here. I’ll go bring your work in a second and then we’ll talk.”

With a lazy look on his face, Tenma caught a glimpse of his own reflection from a trophy case- one of the few resting at the entrance of the teacher’s lounge. He had never paid attention to them before; Second prize in a football tournament, first prize in some races and a few diplomas regarding different competitions, nothing too special. Ouka high had never had the best score regarding academics, which is exactly why he was able to enter.

Igawa liked to insist it wasn’t entirely Tenma’s fault he had so many troubles keeping up with schoolwork though- well, not more than the usual of not being good at studying. No one actually knew how hard celebrity kids had to push themselves- at least that’s what his parent had said. On the other hand, they hadn’t really cared much more, so long the school allowed him to be flexible with his schedules.

School time was usually done while moving sets and camera changes. He and other kids and teens were at different levels of schooling most of the time, so the teacher was forced to divide their time. Honestly, one would be lucky to get 30 minutes of full tutoring.

Anyway, it was rotten work and even Tenma knew it. He also knew what his homeroom teacher thought about it, which is exactly why he couldn’t help himself raising his eyebrows concerned as he saw the pile of papers being drop over the desk.

“Is this a joke?”

“I know you’re busy, but there’s a minimum to do keep up with your classes and… general results.” the old man frowned scratching his grey four-days old beard. He clicked here and there at the computer, probably revising the latest results of the tests they had done.

He then leaned back on his chair, trying to find a comfortable position before his wrinkly eyes turned to him again. “I wish I could think of another way, but you are getting quite behind everyone, Sumeragi-kun. We’re worried.”

Well, it was not his fault he couldn’t remember all the information they gave him like a script. Was it really the solution giving him the same amount of work as his classmates with half the time?

Before he could open his mouth to complain, the man placed his hand on Tenma’s shoulder. It felt heavy. “I already talked with your manager. It seems you’ll be having a break for a month and a half just before finals and I’d like to help you. We can’t have one of the biggest faces of the school repeating a year, can we?”

Tenma’s jaw clenched. Of course, everything was always for Sumeragi Tenma the actor. Student Tenma could go drown himself.

“Here you’ll find some reinforcement materials I think will be good for you to do in school. Less time wasted while moving and I’ll be here in case you have any questions.”

His face twitched. That would mean he wouldn’t be able to ask for Tsumugi’s help or any of the adults back in Mankai. “I actually-”

“Suguro-sensei, Someone’s calling for you about tomorrow’s meeting!”

“Is it that time already... I’ll be right there in a second! In any case, I would suggest you go work on the library Sumeragi-kun.” the man got up, finishing that way their conversation. “It should be quiet enough, but if you see any students being too loud, give them a call.”

Tenma side-glanced again at his workload, groaning internally.

Just about his luck.

.

.

.

Twenty minutes walking.

How could such a big school not have a single sign to indicate where things were?

Squinting his eyes, Tenma looked both ways across the hall annoyed, his already short temper from before increasing. He was sure the library was two turns to the right, then left, and then up the stairs from the teachers’ lounge.

...or maybe it was a floor down now that he thought about it. Damn it. It wasn’t as if he had ever stepped inside that place, shouldn’t they make it more accessible for everyone?

“This sucks…”

It had been a while since he had seen other students or even teachers around, which also made him feel uneasy. He glanced down at the paperwork in his arms, gripping it tighter. He hoped no one would see him walking around like this.

Just where was the stupid library?

It wasn’t until Tenma decided to try entering inside any room that would allow him to work, that he found many were strangely closed. He was about to gave up when he finally saw the dusty word ‘library’ at the end of the corridor. Finally. With effort he managed to open the heavy door, immediately pinching his nose.

“Ugh, stinks.”

The person in charge of cleaning the school really did a worse job than Matsukawa- at least the man cleaned from time to time and organized stuff. The place was an absolute mess; boxes over the floor, piles of books on chairs and shelves full of documents and other various things he didn’t quite distinguish.

Leaving everything on the closest table Tenma sighed when he felt his arms relaxing without the weight. Frowning, he walked around the place, smelling a mix of dirt and old- even some shelves were full of dust. Really, how did a school like this had such a gross place to study? No wonder students didn’t try to come here.

He should have asked for permission to take his work back to Mankai. Less danger of someone noticing he was behind his studies and it becoming a gossip- or worse, finding he had been walking without an absolute clue for the last half hour.

Yeah, he had more options to pass the year with Tsumugi’s help rather than on his own. Just looking at the amount of work he had he was sure it’d-

The faint sound of walking steps brought him back from his thoughts freezing him on the spot- all his breath trapped. He hadn’t heard anyone since he entered, but it shouldn't be surprising to find others studying.

I’ve heard it likes room 1001 for some reason, you know, from the old side of the school? No one really uses it anymore- guess it makes sense!

Or it was probably the wind. The wind tends to make noises, Tenma reminded himself while swallowing with difficulty.

Was the air suddenly thick?

Crack!

He strained to hear, his heart pounding loudly. “I-Is anyone there?” the nerves made his voice come out higher than he had hoped.

More cracks and sounds of steps. He couldn't see anything yet.

His stomach turned as his breath became louder. This wasn't happening. Yup! It was his imagination. What was happening could not be real, because ghosts didn’t exist. “I-I’m not afraid, you know?!” he shouted, positioning himself on a fighting stance while carefully moving backward.

That’s right- Tenma wasn’t scared. He had just rested enough, with or without a ghost in the room, and it was about time to leave. Ignoring his sweaty palms and nodding once more to nothing in particular, he turned around at the same time a pair of eyes made contact with his.

The figure opened its mouth.

And Tenma proceeded to absolutely destroy his throat.

_________________________________________________

This took so long though I’m not even sure If they are around. If you are love, I apologize! I found a few walls writing-wise. So not entirely to say I made it longer to make up for it but on the other hand... maybe. Thank you so much for sending such a nice idea so I was able to make this, really hope you like it. 💕

I promise this is a reader insert lol thank you for reading!

Part 2 soon!

[lumienyx]

I 100% want to know about both 'Hawke no' and the inquisitor hawke story because they both sound AMAZING

Yello there! answered about Hawke, No right here :3

And ahhhhh Reikah you asked about my favorite bb T_T Thank you so much💙💙💙 But can you forgive me if I ramble? Can you??? If not gosh just please ignore skhshsksk

The Inquisitor!Hawke fic is like years in the making... in my head lol. I’ve only recently started actually writing it now that I’ve got a passably decent writing style I’m satisfied with. It’s also a VERY self-indulgent fic, because:

1. FIRST AND FOREMOST I have yet to read an Inquisitor!Hawke/Anders AU where there’s copious amounts of porn interspersed with plot so I guess it’s up to ser thirsty ass over here to satisfy his own desires😔✊

2. I so would like to explore spirit lore & ancient elven lore and, uh, I do that a lot in this fic, which is why it gets downright... weird in places >.> Because I have yet to read a fic that goes with the theories I prefer soooo again it’s all up to me to write it, along with my own hcs thrown in XD To avoid spoilers, suffice it to say that Solas’ arc is pretty different in this story, and so is every spirit entity’s for that matter — from Justice to Cole and the Nightmare, and everyone in between👀 

3. Speaking of spirit entities, Justice is rightfully one of the three main characters in this one. It starts off with established Justhanders (because I can😤) (and they are very much in love🥰❤️), and Justice gets roughly the same amount of POV as Anders and Hawke, which is something that, again, I find lacking in other stories >:c also re: porn I MEAN JUSTICE AND HAWKE’S ANCHOR I MEAN THE POSSIBILITIES I ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

4. Samson (Anders’ long-time friend in this and I won’t pretend this wasn’t @rusted-pipe-of-wisdom​‘s influence) and Cullen are both in the Inquisition🙃 I considered switching their roles but couldn’t be bothered to develop Cullen as an antagonist. Considered ignoring his existence entirely or killing him off, but settled on exploring the hilarious shitfest of Cullen and Samson trying their best (or barely trying?) not to rip each other’s throats out while commanding the Inquisition’s forces😅 Their roles aren’t overlapping and there’s an in-story explanation of why they’re both there, but I’ll stop before I spoil.

Consequently, there’s Calpernia to deal with, but to further balance things out, I’ve gone and made the Cory much more of a threat in this story because the Clownypheus we get in Inquisition is just too much of a joke for me to bear😩 I mean fuck it. Give me danger. Give me High Stakes. Give me SACRIFICE AND DEAT—ooookay, maybe not death. Maybe🌚

5. RIP Hawke and Anders' anonymity very early in the story but for the little while they manage, their aliases are, respectively, Geralt of Rivain and Kyle Ren (short for Kyle Ferrenly) because the author is complete and utter dumbass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry for rambling so much I’m just really excited about writing this but let’s face I'll prolly never finish it anyway ._. So if you are by any chance interested — have an excerpt (sorry it’s so unedited😥😥) from the beginning.

Scene from Chapter 1: Tragic Mark Upon Our Land

~

Hawke was dead.

No, Anders forcibly corrected his and Justice's shared thought. They couldn't afford such moments of weakness. Garrett wasn't dead. It couldn't be true.

Anders marched on, across the glaciers, through toppled trees and against the biting wind towards the little hints of civilization he could see among the mountains, the rocky landscape peppered with newfound rifts and rippling with demonic energy. The sky was torn apart, and he was too preoccupied to worry about the absolute disaster that this was as he normally would, because all that mattered was that—

Garrett was dead.

Anders shook his head, plowing through thick mounds of snow with an explosive burst of fire.

It couldn't be. His heart constricted in his chest. His stomach twisted in knots. Anders gritted his teeth, swiping away rapidly freezing tears and swallowing down the bile creeping up his throat, and walked on.

He drew strength from Justice, who brushed along his mind in comforting waves even as his very essence trembled with an echo of the fear that suffocated Anders' chest with an iron grip. Even so, he offered to take over. Anders refused. They could be spotted at any moment. Ambushed at any moment. Every piece of ice that broke under the weight of his foot could be a trap set by a mage, any particularly cold gush of wind the sign of a templar's aura nearby. They could not afford to be seen with Justice showing through. Anders was risking enough as it was, walking right into the Chantry's domain, like Hawke explicitly told him not to do, but now Hawke was fucking dead and—

It couldn't be.

Hawke wasn't dead and they needed to make sure of that, needed to feel Garrett's heart beat beneath his chest, to see the smile dancing on his lips, and so, with aching feet and an ever more aching heart, they trudged onwards.

Anders, the Grey Warden, possessed mage, the most wanted man in Thedas, wasn't the one supposed to outlive Hawke, whose only grave sin to date, really, was tying his life to Anders' in the first place.

Would this ever have happened if we'd never—

Justice, immortal as he was, would outlive both of them and that was a truth all three of them had to contend with...

We cannot allow him to die here—

...but not like this, never like this. It simply could not end this way. It wouldn't.

It was either a dream or a mistake.

An impossibility Anders and Justice wouldn't allow themselves to entertain in the slightest, because it was naught but farce.

Wasn't it?

Anders had to force himself to breathe at this point. Cold wind prickled in his lungs and yet the pain of it paled against the terror that flooded him whole.

Justice's power rushed through him again, muted and concealed but still invigorating, filling Anders' veins with the pure energy of the Fade that allowed him to take the next step. Then another. A jump down into a pile of snow, and yet another step, step, step, and there, finally, ramparts and makeshift ditches were visible ahead, placed along hastily trodden paths. The sound of distant voices reached Anders' ears even through the thrum of the staccato rhythm of his heart all but deafening him.

He tried to take deeper breaths. Only managed shallow near-sobs.

What if they couldn't find him? What if Garrett was—

It just couldn't be true. It couldn't, it couldn't, couldn't, could not. Justice had felt Hawke in the Fade, heard his cries for help, felt Hawke leave the realm, and they could only hope it was back to this world and not anywhere... beyond.

Anders bit back another wave of nausea.

Hawke wasn't dead.

He couldn't be dead.

Their love was waiting for them, in need of healing, maybe, wounded, probably, but alive. They needed to find him and they would, Maker damn the Conclave, the Chantry, and everything in between.

For now, they only found Varric.

~

sorry for making Anders suffer. Everything turns out fine! For the beginning at least... x)

[hannie-dul-set]

hello its me again !! yesterday I told you I followed u bc of your love for jaemin and your funny humour but today I want to add something else, and thaTS YOUR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS !!

i just finished reading the masterpiece that is Top of the world and I'm so shaken up by the excellence of the rich vocabulary, the sentence structure and just the way you wrote the various events that happened. I'm such at a lost of words to express what I feel you have no ideas, I will never recover from the high quality of this story. it couldn't have been better than that what you delivered and I'm just so so relieved to have been able to live this amazing experience of reading such an outstanding story. I'm sorry maybe you're thinking im showering you in too much compliments but you deserves to be praised for having written Top of the world.

I will always be amazed with how people who write are able to wrote down their imagination and wow, im still shaking like.. Im so impressed by you you have no ideas 🙈

moving on, this is the first time ever since I'm reading nct fics on tumblr that I came across this characterization of jaemin, and it is a real take of fresh air in the best way possible even tho he's really such an asshole like wow the popularity did go too high in his head I was so scandalized (in a good way lmao it made me amazed) with how an ass he was and like the way he ordered around jisung ???? djjdjffjhf I- I wanted to punch jaemin so hard 😤 I wanted to dive into the story and beat his ass lmaooo im sure you too, like I was rolling around in my bed bc I couldn't stay still and laying down without reacting ㅠㅠ

I dont know at what length of words the ask can tolerate but let me tell you something before I forgot ! I realized that every situations/events you wrote had a purpose, like you didn't wrote basic actions that we would pass over without much attention, and bc of that you held our attention during the 15.6k of words and it was so much overwhelming I couldn't stop reading just to breathe lol, you kept me going for so long and I really liked it im so sad that I lived this experience and I couldn't live it again *sobs* this is so revolting I want to pat your head you did so so well 🥺

alsooooo, when you introduced yn's character in the beginning, I was kinda afraid that he would bully her physically you know, like I couldn't imagining you daring to write him being more than despicable than he was but thanks god that wasn't what I imagined fjdjfj, the way he exercised his 'dominance' towards someone he didn't know just for a seat lmao, wow he got some real balls ?¿ I was scandalized a lot fjjfjffj but I was curious too about jeno's character in the story, he was so chill (I think?) about yn's being involved with jaemin from the start and I was expecting him to be an asshole to her just like jaem, u know ? could we know your motives about jeno's character in the story ? why didn't you wrote him like jaemin?

I will speed up a little fjfjj or else I will write you 6 pages of my thoughts lmao

but yeah !! so, I really liked the contrast between how we perceived yn's outside facade and inside, like when he make her kneels in front of him, you made us look at her from jaemin's view and how she looked not so bothered by his behavior and then you switched the second after into yn's point of view and how she tried to not show her emotions... *mind blowing* 🤯 not gonna lie, I was rotting for her to not let him mess with her head but instead her doing that to him and it kinda worked fjfjfjf and then I knew the moment he was surprised about the non effect he had on her that it was the start of his fall anD I WASN'T A SECOND DISAPPOINTED

I FUCKING LOVED THE BLOSSOMING REALTIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM anD the slight graduation of jaemin's becoming soft to her oh my god I had hearts in my eyes. I loved every moments of this story (I loved the entire 15.6k words of it, I cherished them), but the pool scene toward the end made me go feral for a lot of minutes like the picture you implanted in my head of him in the water made me post all my thoughts (also blonde jaemin? as in, make a wish jaemin?, god I hope bc fucking damn, he was so so so hot)

I was so emotional at the end, they got together and just, being the witness of jaemin's character development was breathtaking, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth you made it for his character development during all the story, it wasn't forced or too quick...

It was perfect

omg.... [CLUTCHES HEART]. help oh my god first of all thank you ??? for leaving such a LONG long review omg ???? made my entire day ?? week ??? HQGSBWJ IN SUMMARY THANK U AND I LOVE U FOR THIS AAAA i really appreciate it when people just ramble abt my works it just makes my drive go ⬆⬆⬆ yanno HHHH.

when i was first writing this is was like "oh gosh....is it....okay to turn jaemin this much of a dick?? IS IT??" like i was so SURE people wouldn't like this characterization of him but i literally got the reverse 😭 never expected anyone to jump with me on my asshole richkid jaemin agenda bUT HERE WE ARE....IT BEING MY MOST POPULAR FIC YET HAHSJ. i both hate and love this kind of jaemin and yes i definitely wanted to drag him down from his high horse while writing (at the same time....i will let him drag me around as he pleases too 😳).

i'm very gratified that u think its cohesive and each scene has a purpose because to be honest i didn't fuckin know where to go with this entire fic at first LMAO i was just in a richkid jaem brainrot after talking abt it too much with my friend and this was....the result 🕴.

as for jeno oh mr. jeno lee....HAGSNSK to be honest, as this fic wasn't rlly that deeply planned HAHA, i just wanted a contrast to jaemin's personality LMAO if he had the same personality as jaems....insanely egotistical god complex and all.....i think this would have turned out to be a love triangle AHAHS GM SKW. bUT— but hehe. i have another richkid fic in the dusty corners of my google docs rn. a 00’ line fic in fact HAHA so totw jaemin and jeno will be making a comeback here (ofc this is an entirely different universe but their characterizations are essentially the same HEHEHEHEHEH).

anyway !! thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts on totw ;o; 💞 this rlly made my day no joke HAHA i'm so happy to hear you liked this aaaaa. and yes. maw jaemin was the cause of all of this. something snapped in him during that era and led me to write this very self indulgent fic. thank u HAGHSKA.

[mooswords]

OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava

u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3 

i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.

and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe

THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀

she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!

READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK. 

im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!

hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.

i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together 

yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)

“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA

this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D

402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable

WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN

i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.

YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!

and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe) 

THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.

IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P

ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.

ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3

ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3

I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3  

[donnieluvsthings]

anyway i’m still thinkin about roceit newsies au...this got SO LONG its basically a bullet fic of the whole plot at this point but uh enjoy!!! its has all the sides and remy and emile bc i rly wanted to shove them all in here aldkaldka

this is based on the musical mostly bc i have never watched the original movie all the way thru oops

roman is jack and remus is crutchie (thanks boop). remus does crazy stunts even with his crutch and roman is Constantly Worried TM and overprotective of remus even tho remus can DEF take care of himself

on the other hand remus knows roman hates working as a newsboy and just wants to escape to some small town where he can become a local artist of some sort. remus wants roman to go CHASE his DREAMS even tho he’s afraid roman might leave him behind

roman may be the actor but remus is great at coming up with gruesome yet intriguing headlines that get people to buy papers and would totally be a great author of some sort

ON THAT NOTE roman dreams of santa fe and can picture it perfectly but whenever he tries to explain it, it comes out as senseless rambling and longing. it’s remus who can really put into words what roman feels (bc theyre bros and they just GET each other)

virgil as davey, patton as les, logan as sarah (its the musical but they have an extra sibling okay. let me have older brother logan)

virgil and patton show up and virgil is super untrusting and hates that theyre basically lying to get people to buy papers but patton is just EXCITED to meet New People!!! and looks up to roman (and remus), like, instantly

it helps that roman promises to take them to a real actual theater after they sell all their papers owned by the one the only emile picani !!!

also roman is the one who first calls him “virge” which is like jack saying “davey” instead of david. yes this is necessary information

so they sell their papers (and roman briefly meets an ESPECIALLY handsome guy wink wink) and go see emile who performs some variant of That’s Rich like the star he is. u cant take singer emile away from me

roman also performs bc i said so. he spies someone watching him during his act up above the stage and climbs up there when he’s done

janus. its janus, if that wasnt clear or u dont know the plot of the newsies musical aldkaldlal

so yeah janus as katherine!! he may be pulitzer’s son but that doesn’t mean his father wants him to be a journalist. pulitzer thinks he should prepare to inherit the publishing company or be a banker or smth, not be a journalist

i just think janus’ “society is a LIE” vibe fits with katherine. i mean, just look at Watch What Happens. “give life’s little guys some ink,” “they’ll storm the gates,” “rich greedy sourpusses” .... idk it just SCREAMS janus to me

ALSO, katherine technically lies about her identity for like 3/4 of the musical, so

anyway! roman meets janus and janus is all suave and lowkey flirty at first but then roman starts flirting BACK and jan is like “uh oh how to talk to cute boys????”

so then he gets all “i have more important things to do” *hair flip* and goes back to the article he’s supposed to be writing about emile’s theater (a lot of his notes are about roman’s performance but nobody needs to know that shhh)

roman draws a portrait of jan and leaves it there and janus gently & dramatically picks it up, stares at it, and tucks it into his suit with a soft smile

uh oh prices for papers went up! virgil steps up and helps roman lead a strike. turns out his caution works GREAT with roman’s determination and they keep each other from going towards extreme overthinking (virgil) or extreme stupidity (roman). they are a TEAM and they are BESTIES.

remus: lets SET THE PAPERS ON FIRE

roman, starry eyed: HECK YEAH LETS DO IT

virgil: how about we dont do that and instead form a union

and then the twins are like GOOD IDEA and tell everyone else. virgil may be a cautious and untrusting and afraid of public speaking but he has good ideas dangit

the intro to seize the day yknow? virgil says a Good Idea (which can probably be traced back to him always listening to logan rant about his studies) and roman spreads the message in a Firm Rebellion-y way to the other newsies

and patton is there doing his absolute best. he may be small but he knows that this isn’t right or fair to the newsboys and he’s ready to physically fight someone

enter logan who is lowkey really proud of virgil for stepping outside of his comfort zone to do whats right. logan may be scared out of his mind for his little bros but he’s gonna help them as much as he can between college and trying to work side jobs to help their fam

basically logan knows janus and tells him that he should report on the strike bc logan wants to help his bros AND his friend however he can

cue janus seeing his opportunity and TAKING it. he’s gonna write about this strike even if no one else will!!! take THAT, father

he also maybe possibly wanted to see roman again. but roman never needs to know that okay what he doesnt know cant hurt him

seize the day happens!!!! they strike!!!! they r powerful!!! but then no one else from any other sections of new york strike with them and they lowkey get rekt

remus mocks the delanceys but that was a BAD decision cuz now theyre targeting him and he gets taken to the REFUGE

roman is SAD bc his brother’s been taken away, no one showed up to help them strike, his brother’s been taken away and he just wants to get OUT of there. run away to santa fe, his ideal world, but he can’t even articulate that because his brother is gone

how is that just act one. how have i written so much yet left out so much???

remus is at the refuge and he’s a little more scared, now, that roman really will just leave him behind even though he knows deep down that roman would never.

still. he writes roman a letter and maybe he goes into a little too much detail about his injuries and the refuge but hey, that’s remus. he writes about how maybe they can run away to santa fe together. he signs it “your brother” and i CRY because they are the best bros

roman reads it and ALSO cries. especially because there it is, the description of santa fe he can never come up with by himself. remus rly does know him, huh

total scene change: janus finds the other newsies (and logan) in a restaurant? bar? and is like “!!! ur on the FRONT PAGE on my newspaper” which i just decided is called the snake instead of the sun

virgil didn’t totally trust janus would follow thru at first but now he’s convinced. they did it!!!! theyre on the front page!!!! the world WILL know!!!!

cue tapdancing!!!!!! king of new york is an absolute bop. i need logan tapdancing daintily and then janus LAUNCHING into some complex tap routine bc the newsies think he too will dance daintily

i know they wouldnt,,, actually dance but just let me have this self-indulgence in this entirely self-indulgent au

the Bro Trio + janus go hunt down roman to show him the paper and find him painting stuff at emile’s all sad and upset bc, well, they lost and remus was taken

but virgil is trying to show him that they made progress!!! sure pulitzer won but he won the BATTLE and actually the poor guy’s head is spinning bc theyre gonna win.

“cmon, ro, if i’m is telling you to be optimistic there must be hope”

see virgil calls him RO and its cute bc roman gave him the nickname ‘virge’ and now virgil’s giving him the nickname ‘ro’ theyre just besties okay

roman is unconvinced but then logan, who roman has actually never met before, steps in with Facts and Statistics, and patton adds some adorable words of encouragement, and janus sassily waves their Front Page Story at him, and roman starts realizing they DO have a chance

but then uh oh pulitzer threatens remus and the Bro Trio and roman is forced to speak out against the strike or risk ruining the lives of everyone he loves. and also he finds out that janus is pulitzer’s son and is Betrayed TM

theres some “he’s just trying to build up a false confidence in u so u can plummet to even greater depths” parallels in there somewhere....u can’t trust many people as a newsie and when roman DOES trust someone turns out he’s the son of the guy ur trying to fight

so roman says overnight in pulitzer’s basement, sleeping on an uncomfortable old printing press, and makes his decision

now for the RALLY

remy is spot conlon bc he DESERVES to be the leader of the brooklyn newsies. brooklyn, flushing, richmond, etc all show up to a newsies rally and are like YEAH!!! STRIKE!!!!

virgil is trying to tame the crowd nervously and keeps waiting for roman to show up bc they work best when theyre working together!!!! finally roman’s there and virgil introduces him (the attention isnt solely on him now thank gosh)

but then roman starts talking about how they dont stand a chance and how they shouldnt go on strike and virgil is just. confused and upset and angry

especially when he sees one of pulitzer’s employees slipping roman wads of money

virgil corners roman afterwards and is absolutely RIPPING into him. roman could fix this if he would just tell virgil the truth, tell him he doesn’t care about the money, he just wanted to keep him and patton and logan safe—

but roman knows if he tells virgil, then virgil will turn all his anger towards pulitzer, will be able to convince roman to keep going, and roman won’t. he can’t put virgil, put his family, at risk.

so he lies.

he doesn’t mean any of it. but he says it.

and maybe he kind of understands why janus lied, too.

he says he’s never had anyone to take care of him or remus, not like virgil does with his parents and his older brother. he says virgil will never know what it’s like.

virgil scoffs and glares and beneath all his fury looks crushed. but there’s still fire in his eyes, a spark roman saw that first day that only grew and engulfed any doubts virgil ever had.

roman says he’ll take the money and go, leave new york behind.

virgil says fine. we don’t need you. because you know what? all those words you said were mine. i didn’t have the courage to say them back then but now i do. we don’t need you.

(because i watched that scene in the movie and like YES go OFF davey i mean virgil)

roman flees to his “bedroom” which is really just a fire escape and just longs for remus’ reassurance. he has the letter but it doesn’t seem as encouraging now, not when he’s lost everything else important to him.

then janus shows up and roman’s mad at him but not mad enough to kick him out. and janus watched roman just give up on everything they’ve been fighting for and just wants to know WHY. why did he turn his back on the newsies when they were so close?

and roman, tired and upset and defeated, just says they wouldn’t succeed. even if all the newsies went on strike no one would report on it, anyway, because pultizer has all the printing presses on lockdown, even the one janus published from. and they already lost once! what more could they possibly do?

roman looks out over the railing, chest heaving from his rant, longing for his imaginary santa fe where he doesn’t have to face his failures. janus stands next to him and puts his hand over roman’s.

“i don’t have a simple answer to that question....but here’s a start.”

and janus pulls out a paper with roman’s words (well, and virgil’s, because virgil said it first but roman rephrased it powerfully, and that’s why they worked as a team) typed out, words that make the strike not about newsies but about ALL working children in the city who are being exploited for their youth and naivety.

it’s an entire article, expertly written. if published it would get the word out to the other newsies that they haven’t given up and show other working children and adults alike that this is IMPORTANT and they aren’t going away.

and then roman remembers his drawings of the refuge and remus’ graphic descriptions and shows them to janus and hey!!! they have a plan!!! they just need to print it....

roman’s like yo there’s an old press in ur dad’s basement he’d never suspect anything

and theyre both so excited and theyre gonna DO this, FINALLY, and janus sees hope on roman’s face again, maybe permanently this time, and janus just leans in and kisses him.

its very sweet and cute and theyre in LOVE

they pull back and kinda stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before both of them start grinning

and they both know its fragile, that they’ve hurt each other and trust was cracked, but it wasn’t broken completely, and they can fix this. they believe in each other and that’s enough for now.

and then they go find virgil at his house

roman knocks on the door and virgil opens it and just. glares at roman. and roman starts rambling apologies and explanations and tries to tell virgil about their plan and did he mention he’s sorry

virgil kinda just stares at him as he goes on and on and the only thing that stops him is patton running out and launching himself at roman

then logan appears behind virgil, and virgil kinda just smiles

“glad to have u back. again.”

and then they go sneak into pulitzer’s basement and print the article with jan’s writing and ro’s drawings and remus’ descriptions and the other newsies go spread the papers ALL around the city

the next morning EVERYONE is out on strike!!! u cant get ANYWHERE without seeing ppl, newsies or otherwise, filling the streets with chants of “seize the day”

roman, with the Bro Trio and Janus trailing close behind, waltzs on in to pulitzer’s office and flings the money pulitzer gave him back on the desk and is like whatcha gonna do NOW, joe??

pulitzer angrily tells them he’s a fool for going back on their deal and logan steps in sayin pulitzer is a fool for letting this get so out of hand over a 10 cent price increase. his sales are down 70%!! objectively the price increase was like the worst business decision ever

virgil’s like plus it’s making u look bad that ur business is the reason most of these kids are suffering. people really love kids, mr pulitzer and patton smiles brightly but in like a menacing way

then emile walks in with a ~dazzling smile~ and is like ur son told me about this whole situation, it’d be a shame if i contacted my good friend governor roosevelt who won’t be as kind as these brave newsies since u tried so hard to stop him from being elected :)

((in the show roosevelt is actually there but i want emile to have a moment to SHINE))

so pulitzer’s like FINE and talks to roman alone and roman wears him down, throwing words from janus, virgil, and pulitzer himself right in pulitzer’s face until FINALLY they have a deal. he’ll lower the prices by half AND pulitzer will buy back whatever they don’t sell full price

roman bursts out of the office into the streets where all the newsies are waiting and is like WE WONNN

and since they published all that stuff about the refuge in the paper, the guy who runs it is being arrested and REMUS IS FREE

the twins hug for like a full two minutes

then pulitzer offers roman a job as a political cartoonist and roman’s like. well idk now that this is over i should probably...head out

bc lowkey he’s thinking virgil still doesn’t wanna see roman ever again and he did say he would leave, so

but then virgil’s like come on, ro, you don’t really think we want u to leave, do u? what’s santa fe got that new york aint? tarantulas? sandstorms? stampedes? you can’t go to santa fe what if you DIE—

and logan says new york’s got us!

patton: and we’re family, right?

then janus is like you got a union to lead! and...you got me.

and remus is like bro, anyone can dream, all you do is close ur eyes! but some made up world is all you’ll ever see. (bc he’s the wordsy one, u see. he helps roman have the poetic realization that his santa fe isn’t real, but this IS)

so roman says well if u guys INSIST.....and then he takes jan’s hand and kinda asks w his eyes and then kisses jan in front of all the newsies who proceed to cheer obnoxiously

when they break apart roman leads janus by the hand over to the paper-buying-cart and slaps some couns down on the table and BUYS SOME PAPERS BC THEYRE NEWSIES BABEY

and everyone lived happily ever after🥰

[shiro-0197]

AHH it's okay the important thing is that you got your rest!! I'm glad you're okay now tho xD

oh my gosh YES 😭💖 I'd love that. There's just something special about the ice cream there, I swear—

Yes it was very very nice. Gordon was as cute as ever, and it was nice just hanging out with my friends on the first day of the new year.

oh I'm not sure what the fashion ones are for (probably yes, to make people look hotter grrr) but I have a few sports ones because they help with my grip, like cycling and tennis. It protects the palms, I guess, haha.

No I understand. Your school probably has different branches in other cities. Mine doesn't but I know some that do, so don't worry I'm not confused 😝😝

ahhh I'm sorry xD we use the term freely here, kinda like what you call your best friend, but okay twins with an age gap, that's cute. You're right, you two are pretty similar, at least from what I've seen. I have Aaron, who's very similar to me, so I can understand how you regard Kuro haha. But yes, it's always nice to relate to someone and have them with you. I've said this tons of times, but you guys are truly lucky to have each other.

thank you :) I hope so too. It's just something I have to work on, I suppose. But I'm really good at hiding my emotions, to the point where my friends don't know what I feel at all (besides happiness), and that's pretty scary honestly, because I wish I could be more transparent about it. Oh off topic again, but yeah just wanted to put that out there xD

I'm sure she considers you a huge help to her, and it's plain to see that you love her very much, so I hope things get easier for her!!

oh please don't worry about that at all, I completely understand! When I said that, I hope it didn't come out as me asking or anything (it was never my intention 😣😣)— I just meant that I didn't even need to know, because I still think you're cute and attractive all the same :)) and I already have a rough idea from what you've told me, so don't worry about creating an artbreeder :P (tho I've seen a bunch of anime characters on artbreeder and they're so pretty. I might just use it myself to make Oikawa or the Miya twins on it 😭😭💖)

Oh I see that's so cool!! You're mixed too :)) and yeah, it'd be so nice meeting people from other cultures as well >.< It's a shame, but that's okay! I'm sure one day, you'll be able to travel wherever you want, and bring your mom along too :))

I hope so too !! Fingers crossed, it might be the start of a beautiful new friendship ;)

aw that sounds so cute!! I'm so envious of people who have dreams, I rarely have them and it's so nice to indulge in them when you're asleep, and remember them when you wake !! do you have dreams often? And ahhh good good !! Glad they didn't lie about it or anything smh -_- I'm happy you enjoyed it :) and that's okay I'm weird too, we'll be weird together 😚💖

Intelligence is hot— 😭. And I'll probably start rambling about the history of firecrackers because I'm a show-off too (did you know they originated from China? 😍)

😃🔫 It ended an hour and a half late. I was too tired to watch anything :(( but that's okay I'll watch it tonight!! I hope you're enjoying your day. I love you more.

—ɐuɐᴉɹɐ🙃

Ahhh so sorry for late response!! I had to go out and I left my phone because it was out of battery😭😭

Ohh, does it? I hope they have melon ice cream😝

Aww that makes me so happy??!? I hope your next hey year goes like this, too!! I'm glad you had a great time

Ohh, right, I forgot about those xD yeah, I guess it's slippery when your hands are sweaty so gloves are useful. I really have no knowledge in sports clothes😭😭

Alright alright, glad you know!! Tbh I really hoep I can visit his school as a graduate one day:D

We really are😩 it's really awesome to have someone who's like you. It's like you're talking to yourself, but people won't find you weird because you're actually talking to another person. Though their answers are actually unpredictable, but that's good😋 I'm really glad you have Aaron. He seem like a great lil guy^^

I see what you mean, to be honest I'm like that too when I really dont feel well. It's really nice that you're trying to change that for yourself! Dont worry about getting offtopic, I do so as well hehe

Me too!! I really hope so

No no no no dont worry, Kuro had the idea when he saw the trend. He knew I didnt like taking pics even though I'm not really insecure about myself, so he proposed making one so I can share. Because i want people to see that I'm pretty😡 snjrjwjdjsnfjw

About that, he likes to send me the ugliest pics from Artbreeder and says "this is you" because he thinks hes funny ( ok he is but 😭😭)

He sent me this bad boy saying it's me and to be honest I think I'm never going on that forsaken website ever

Btw good luck with making the guys!!! Tbh I barely know how to use it and usually I get pictures like ^that one so uh it's painful really xD

I sure will!! And I will kidnap Kuro and his mom and we will go to Norway and eat cheeseburgers👍 and meet you of course hehe

Well, I do have dreams! Pretty often too, though they're nothing much? Usually I'm just there, watering plants or eating fresh pastry (which hurts when I wake up because turns out I dont actually have any)

Exactly!! Also that's great to hear, so just two weirdos chilling😋

True true, if someone says something smart with a smart look on their face trust me I'm already in love and planning our marriage😭 heheh, let's be show offs together I guess💕💕 also, I'd say I didn't but i think i subconsciously knew (is that a thing ??) about that because of Kung Fu Panda 2 XD

Awhh😭😭 well, I hope you slept well and have the energy to watch it today!! I did enjoy my day, it was pretty cool, I got a spicy&juicy hot dog and a coffee (which was fake as hell and sucked ass) during my adventure 😝 I hope yours went fun as well! I missed you, love you lots💞💞💕

[vexedtonightmares]

with great power (elu spiderman au)

eliott has been saved by spiderman quite a few times for absolutely no reason. hopeless romantic that he is, eliott accidentally starts falling for spiderman somewhere along the way and doesn’t know what to do about it. obviously, there’s only one solution. he and his good friend lucas should pretend to date to make spiderman jealous. there’s no ulterior motives here, of course, just lucas helping a bro out.

aka eliott’s falling in love with spiderman, lucas is in love with eliott, and lucas is spiderman.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

ao3

no. 9 “You seem a little on edge.”

Lucas was giving Eliott the silent treatment, and even though grumpy Lucas was usually cute, this was just too much. If he had to see Lucas pouting or turned pointedly away from him for one more minute, he was going to explode.

They were at Daphné’s secret foyer party (Spiderman was notably absent, thankfully) and Eliott was determined to have fun, grumpy boyfriend aside. Yann kept pulling Lucas aside and talking to him fervently, but Eliott didn’t know what they were talking about. Lucas looked stubborn as ever, so Eliott knew Yann was never going to win whatever argument they were having. They’d both been stupid, the day before, and Eliott suspected Lucas’ silence had more to do with him knowing that fact than actually being mad, so Eliott just decided to give him some time.

He’d come back to school early in the morning to actually paint a mural, because he didn’t want to let Daphné down, and he’d decided on a simple Jackson Pollock inspired splatter paint mural with glow in the dark paint mixed in reading ‘infiltration’. It was a little bit of a risky move, but it would only be seen under blacklight, so the headmaster would probably never see the hidden message. If worse came to worst, he could paint over it as well.

Lucas looked beautiful (what else was new) in a fairly simple ensemble. The most he’d done, really, was paint two stripes on his cheeks, but they somehow accentuated his cheekbones in just the right way. It really was too bad they were both exceptionally stubborn. And petty, because Eliott had covered half his face with a mask that he knew Lucas would probably find alluring and sexy. 

He felt a presence at his side and turned to see Arthur, watching him watch Lucas. “Can I help you with anything?” he asked.

“Me? No, no,” Arthur said, then nodded to Lucas and Yann. “What’s going on there, though?”

“Fuck if I know,” Eliott admitted with a sigh, pouring himself another cup of whatever mess of beverages had been provided by Emma. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Arthur joked, but Eliott’s frown must have been too prominent for Arthur to not catch on to, because he sighed, placing a hand on Eliott’s shoulder. “If Lucas did something stupid, cut him a little slack. I know you probably know him better than I do, but he keeps a lot inside, you know? He thinks he has to be this person, put on a show, because he’s scared of people leaving him. I guarantee that whatever he did, it was borne of those insecurities, because we all have them, and we all have the worst way of showing them to people at times.”

Eliott raised his eyebrows. “How do you know all this?”

“I’m much more perceptive than people give me credit for,” Arthur said with a nonchalant shrug. 

Eliott wasn’t entirely certain if he wanted to know the things Arthur knew about him, but he asked regardless, “And what if I’m the one that did something stupid?”

Arthur studied him. “You didn’t, at least initially, but the reason you guys are fighting is the reason you work so well together. You’re two halves of a whole idiot, and whatever dumb thing Lucas said or did, you rose to it, and you satisfied those insecurities of his without realizing it, because you have insecurities of your own, and your biggest one is your fear of being alone. Funny how similar you two are, actually, Lucas fears being left, and you fear never having anyone to begin with.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Eliott was a little creeped out by how accurate everything Arthur was saying was. Was it all that obvious to everyone, or did Arthur just pay a little bit more attention than most? 

“I don’t know, man, I’m super high right now,” Arthur confided with a small giggle, “Baz and I were arguing about whether or not birds were real and I got a little too heated, so I figured you might need a nice Dr. Phil session. I can, like, feel your puppy dog eyes from across the room.”

“Birds aren’t real,” was all Eliott could think to respond to.

Arthur clapped his hands on both of Eliott’s shoulders, widening his eyes. “Thank you. That’s what I’m saying! Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No, because they don’t exist. They’re government robots, originating in…”

Arthur rambled on about pigeons and conspiracies alike but Eliott started to tune him out when he accidentally met Lucas’ eye across the room. Lucas was still standing with Yann, but they weren’t arguing anymore, and he had a softer expression than he’d been carrying all night. The moment their eyes met it felt like electricity had zapped its way back into Eliott’s nervous system, waking him back up. He could tell Lucas felt it too, by the way his eyes changed in subtle, almost imperceptible, ways. Lucas looked like he was opening his mouth to say something, but then Baz crossed in front of Eliott’s field of vision, and by the time Lucas was in his view again, his eyes were trained on the floor. 

“…and then they’ll target the hedgehogs, probably,” Arthur was saying, and Eliot tuned back in, honestly forgetting he’d been talking that whole time. “Oh my gosh, what if they go for Lucas? You always draw Lucas as a hedgehog and whatever, so if they go after hedgehogs, they’ll go after him, oh, Eliott, what are we going to do?”

Arthur looked on the verge of tears and Eliott did not want to be the one to handle stoned Arthur crying about robot hedgehogs controlled by the government, so he passed him off to Alexia, the nearest person he knew within range of his current position. He felt like she’d probably actually appreciate his ramblings, indulging him enough to find a solution to not turn Lucas into a government controlled robot. 

When he’d finally extracted himself fully from Arthur’s hold, he turned around and ran right into Lucas. 

“Hi,” he said dumbly, taking off his mask. 

Lucas just looked up at him. Eliott really wanted to kiss him. Eliott really wanted them to stop fighting, if that was what they were doing. He couldn’t tell anymore, if he was being honest. 

Lucas’ eyes glowed under the blacklight, more so than usual, especially with their close proximity. Eliott knew that he’d probably already committed those eyes to memory, staring into them more times than he could count, but they were so effervescent, so real, so Lucas, that he got lost in them every single time. And that included the times before he’d known he was in love with Lucas.

“You finished the mural,” Lucas said, glancing over Eliott’s shoulder. It had barely been a full day, but Eliott nearly exhaled in relief when he heard Lucas’ voice again. It was softer than he’d expected, which pretty much confirmed his suspicions. 

Eliott turned to look at the mural, then at Lucas. “I did. It’s not exactly what I would have wanted, but…” he trailed off with a shrug. 

The intensity in Lucas’ eyes burned into his. “And what would you have wanted?”

“You,” Eliott said, and Lucas blinked, eyelashes fluttering in apparent surprise. Eliott continued, “I just wish we could have done it together. Without a paint fight.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Lucas said quietly, looking down at his feet. 

“It’s no big deal,” Eliott promised, because it really wasn't. He’d take a petty paint fight that they’d probably laugh about in the future over something more serious and final.

Lucas looked back up at him, a somewhat desperate look on his face. “It is. I’m sorry for overreacting and saying all those things about you and Spiderman and me and our relationship. I get a bit insecure about it all, the fact that you like me like I like you and that this isn’t just some big joke the universe is playing on me. I get scared of you leaving, like everyone else in my life does.”

Eliott put both his hands on Lucas’ face, brushing his cheekbones with his thumbs. The face paint Lucas had on smudged slightly under his fingers, but he didn’t think Lucas was too worried about it. “This is real, L, realer than anything I’ve ever felt. That’s why I get scared sometimes too, you know. Because as afraid as you are of me leaving, I’m terrified of never having someone in the first place to love me.” He stole Arthur’s words, because they fit like a glove he didn’t want to wear, but maybe he had to anyway.

“We’re really dumb, aren’t we?” Lucas asked, leaning into Eliott’s touch.

“The dumbest,” Eliott agreed. 

Lucas bit his lip, eyes dropping to the ground then back up again. “If we’re idiots, I’m glad you’re my idiot, and that I’m yours.”

Eliott dropped his eyes to Lucas’ lips just as Lucas placed his hands on Eliott’s wrists, fingers brushing against his skin and raising his heart rate with each movement they made. Their noses brushed first, and Eliott held back just enough to take the moment for what it was, two kindred souls reconnecting, finding their place in the world.

When Lucas got fed up with waiting and closed those final few millimeters between them, it was a softer kiss than Eliott had been intending, but it made him feel like he was in a movie. With the lights swirling around them, the music fading to the back of his mind, it was hard not to pretend that they were a part of something bigger, a story that crowds of hundreds or thousands might look at and think, yes, that’s love. 

It was, it really was. 

Two beautiful boys slow dancing to the rhythm of their own music, lost in every sense of the word, lost in each other. Kisses feather light but felt to the bone, a steady thrumming in their chests beating out ‘I love you’ in morse code, if only they understood morse code. The dizzying realization that someone right in front of you knew every part of you and decided to love you on purpose, flaws and faults and misunderstandings and petty arguments and mistakes aside. It took a lot of effort to attain that kind of love, but it was so effortless at the same time. Loving Lucas was the easiest thing Eliott had ever done. 

Then, inevitably, the crowd reappeared, the music returned, and the world was normal again, not knowing that somehow two boys in a secret high school party in France had stolen time for the two of them to exist in a reality entirely their own, even if just for a single second.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Eliott asked, because they were bound to be caught by the night guard at some point, and Eliott wanted to be far away when that happened. Also because Lucas was wearing far too many clothes and now that they were back to kissing Eliott didn’t ever want to stop, but their friends would be hearing the first excuse.

Lucas’ soft, lovelorn eyes softened even more, and his fingers were feather light as ever as he brushed them across Eliott’s eyebrow, then his cheek. He snapped out of the daze he was in for a split second, as if he was remembering something, then smiled serenely once more. “I would love to. I just need to use the bathroom quick, ok?”

“Ok,” Eliott said, “Do you want me to wait here?”

“I can meet you outside,” Lucas said hurriedly, lowering his voice. “Less questions from ‘concerned’ friends.”

Eliott laughed, pressing a small kiss to Lucas’ temple. “See you outside.”

“See you outside,” Lucas agreed, saluting him.

Eliott continued to chuckle fondly, meeting Imane’s eyes across the crowd of people as Lucas walked away. He blushed, even though he hadn’t been doing anything wrong. She should be glad he and Lucas got over themselves enough to have a conversation and get back to where things were meant to be. She simply raised an eyebrow and mimicked Lucas’ salute, and he flipped her off discreetly.

Once again he was struck with the loss of his jacket as he stepped outside into the night. It wasn’t terribly cold, but he hadn’t been terribly warm to start with and his face mask had been long since abandoned. He leaned up against the building, wondering how long Lucas was going to take, because he really, really just wanted to kiss him again and again.

The music and voices in the party got louder, or maybe the world around Eliott got quieter, and Lucas still wasn’t outside. He pulled out his phone, because maybe Lucas had gone to a different side of the building or something.

Eliott: hey i’m out front, where are you?

Lucas: Sorry, sorry! I’ll be right there, I promise

Lucas: Yann stopped me on the way back from the bathroom because Baz is drunk and he didn’t want to deal with him

Eliott: no problem just hurry plssss ;)

Eliott: i miss u

Lucas: Running

And he was, because a few moments later Eliott heard his footsteps, knew they were Lucas’ footsteps without even having to look, and Lucas burst through the doors, red faced and bright eyed. His hair was mussed up like he’d just been electrocuted, which was exactly how Eliott liked it. 

When their eyes met, Lucas bolted to him, wrapping his arms around him tight enough that Eliott gripped him back with equal strength, spinning him around once, twice, before settling him back on the ground and kissing his forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips. 

“Happy to see me?” Lucas teased and Eliott shushed him. 

“Just let me enjoy all that you are, please,” Eliott asked, brushing their noses together gently.

Lucas leaned back slightly, teasing him further. “Are you insinuating that you don’t enjoy every part of me all the time?”

“Ah.” Eliott tucked his hands into Lucas’ hair, twirling some of the ends with his fingertips. For some reason his hair felt slightly sweaty, and Eliott wondered how fast he’d run there. “On the contrary,” he continued, “I can’t get you out of my head.”

“Good,” Lucas said smugly, pulling Eliott into a kiss. “Because I can’t either.”

They made it back to Lucas’ flat, eventually, but not after a fair few stolen kisses and piggyback rides, and time spent looking up at the moon and wondering if she was looking proudly at them from her position in the sky, watching their lives tangle the way they’d been destined to tangle. 

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott had been banished from the kitchen, so he was sitting out on the sofa trying to make small talk with Lisa while Lucas made breakfast. Most of their mutual friends had seen Eliott at various states of good and bad and everywhere in between, but Eliott had an extra soft spot for Manon, Mika, and Lisa who (with Lucas) had treated him like a member of their makeshift family long before he and Lucas had gotten together, fake or real. 

Eliott could hearing Lucas singing to himself in the kitchen and resisted the urge to go take a video lest he be kicked out of the flat entirely, but damn he wanted to. Lucas did not realize it, but he had the most beautiful singing voice Eliott had ever heard (not that his normal voice wasn’t already beautiful on its own). It was just another part of Lucas that Eliott had slowly fallen in love with over time not realizing that was what it was until he recognized it as the voice he heard in his sweetest dreams.

“You two were loud last night,” Lisa said from the other side of the sofa, eyes trained on the tv in front of them playing some rerun of a shitty tv show Eliott knew she couldn’t actually be very invested in.

“Thanks,” Eliott said, letting a smirk play across his features. He was shameless when it came to loving Lucas. 

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Kitten!” Mika chose that moment to burst into the room in full Mika fashion, doing a double take at Eliott on the couch. “You are not the kitten I was referring to.”

Eliott laughed. “Your kitten is in the kitchen,” he supplied. 

Mika raised one eyebrow suggestively. “Isn’t he your kitten?” he asked innocently, and Eliott blushed needlessly. Kitten wasn’t the animal Eliott would have used, but the sentiment remained. 

“I’m his hedgehog,” Lucas said, entering the room with two plates of breakfast food. Mika tried to swipe one from him and Lucas ducked away rather gracefully, somehow not dropping either plate. He placed one on the table in front of Eliott with a wink before sitting beside him, shoving Lisa’s legs out of the way. She scoffed at him indignantly but Lucas ignored her, looking at Eliott expectantly. 

“Better than a PONI?” Lucas asked, and Eliott nudged him lightly with his knee.

“That was one time,” Eliott said defensively, taking a bite of the non cinnamon filled eggs. Yes, he’d experimented a bit the first time he’d ever made Lucas breakfast, and yes they’d both come to regret it, and yes Lucas refused to let him live it down. 

The door to the flat opened and Manon walked in, grocery bags in hand. She looked surprised to see Eliott there, and Eliott remembered that last she’d seen the two of them they were fighting. 

“Everything good here then?” she asked as she unwrapped her scarf from her neck and set her groceries on the counter. 

“Better than ever,” Eliott said, mostly to Lucas, who stuck his tongue out at him. 

“When did you guys get back last night?” Manon asked. She must have gotten back later than them, because Lisa had been the only one home when they arrived, and she was fast asleep, so they were able to take advantage of the relative emptiness of the flat. 

Eliott shrugged, exchanging a glance with Lucas. “Fairly early? We weren’t at the party long.”

“Wait, you weren’t there when Spiderman came, were you?” she gasped, scooting Lisa over more to sit with them on the couch. This was news to Eliott. Daphné must have gone crazy. 

“No, we weren’t,” Lucas said.

Manon widened her eyes. “Well, it’s not like he was there long or anything, but Daphné will be talking about it forever and ever.”

“What happened?” Eliott asked, trying not to sound too eager because Lucas had folded in on himself a bit at the mention of Spiderman. 

“Nothing much, like I said,” Manon explained, “But he sort of swung in out of nowhere, took a photo with Daphné, and left in a blur.”

“That’s weird,” Lisa chimed in from her side of the sofa, and Eliott couldn’t help but agree.

“Does that mean he goes to your school then?” Mika asked excitedly, stirring his coffee with a spoon. 

“I highly doubt it,” Lucas said hurriedly, just as Eliott had shrugged and said, “It’s possible.”

They both narrowed their eyes at one another, before falling into laughter. “You know him better than me I guess,” Lucas whispered under his breath, and Eliott faked another laugh, not sure if that was meant to be a joke or some sort of test. 

“Regardless, Daphné’s life is made,” Manon said. 

“Getting a superhero to come to your secret party is a pretty big feat,” Eliott agreed, noticing the way Manon’s face lit up when she talked about Daphné. 

Lucas must have noticed it too, because he asked, seemingly out of nowhere, “We should go on a double date with you and Daphné.”

Manon looked taken aback momentarily, before regaining her composure. “We should!” she agreed, then whispering conspiratorially, “She will have many dumb questions, though, be warned.”

Lucas laughed. “Manon, it wouldn’t be Daphné if she didn’t.”

“We’re trying to work on it,” Manon said anyway, standing up. “Is there edible food in the kitchen or did Eliott cook?”

“It was one time!” Eliott repeated.

“I cooked,” Lucas reassured her, taking another bite of his own food as proof.

“Thank god.”

Eliott resisted the urge to argue back, turning instead to his shithead of a boyfriend. “It’s really good,” he said, nodding to his plate.

“I know,” Lucas said smugly, and Eliott shoved his shoulder.

“I was trying to pay you a compliment asshole.”

“I know.”

Eliott had no choice but to kiss him senseless, smartass Lucas was so undeniably sexy to him. Not that any version of Lucas wasn’t, but damn. Lisa coughed loudly beside them to remind them she was on the sofa, but neither one of them listened to her. They’d be done kissing soon, surely. 

Or maybe not, Eliott was fine with that too.

“Lucas, we get it, you have a boyfriend,” Mika said boredly, and Lucas broke their kiss, leaving his hands on Eliott’s shoulders and frowning grumpily. 

“Manon has a girlfriend too!” he said indignantly. 

Mika spread his arms wide, looking around the room. “But she’s not here, is she?”

Eliott coughed uncomfortably, even though he knew Mika didn’t really mean it. “I can leave…”

“Oh, no,” Mika and Lucas said at the same time. Lucas’ eyebrows bunched together in the middle of his forehead as Mika continued, “You’re welcome whenever, Lucas is the annoying one.

Lucas let go of Eliott, rolling his eyes and flopping his head back on the couch. “Fuck off, Mika.”

“Gladly,” Mika said, stealing a bit of bacon off Lucas’ plate before he went. 

Eliott and Lucas settled back into each other, hardly noticing as Lisa got up with an exasperated huff as well, storming back into her own room. 

“I love you,” Lucas said quietly, in their newfound peaceful atmosphere.

“I love you too.” It was still surreal to Eliott to be able to say it so casually, both of them knowing they meant it from the bottom of their hearts. Even so, as Lucas’ body was tucked into his, he felt so far away at the same time. “You ok?” he asked gently. 

“Yeah,” Lucas sighed, not very convincingly. 

“We can go to the bench if you want,” Eliott offered, opening the door just in case Lucas had something weighing on his mind that he wanted to talk about. Eliott could tell that he did, actually, but he didn’t want to demand anything before Lucas was ready to open up. The bench was a nudge, though, just in case. 

“Let’s just stay here,” Lucas said, tracing the veins in Eliott’s arms. 

“Are you sure?” Eliott asked.

Lucas didn’t answer, which was answer enough. Eliott wrapped him up in his arms a bit more tightly, pressing his face into Lucas’ hair. “You know that you don’t have to go through anything alone, right?”

Lucas’ eyes shifted about the room, and Eliott could feel his heart beating irregularly in his chest. “I know,” Lucas said, but Eliott didn’t think he did. 

“I’m serious, L,” he pushed, and he watched as Lucas closed off further.

“Can you just drop it? Please?” Lucas pleaded, voice soft and distant. 

Eliott didn’t know what to say. He could tell there was something weighing on Lucas, but he didn’t want to become Lucille and act more like a parent than a significant other. This was why, in the end, he simply pulled Lucas closer to him, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and murmured, “Ok.”

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott turned around when he heard someone calling his name in the hallway, smiling when he saw that it was Imane. He slowed to let her catch up, greeting her with a nod. 

“How’s it going?” he asked. “I’m on my way to meet Lucas for lunch, but I’m sure he won’t mind if you join.”

“That’s what I’m here about actually,” she said apologetically. “Lucas told me to tell you he can’t make it, he and Arthur are testing a project in biology and need to use our lunch period to work.”

Eliott frowned. “Aren’t you his bio partner?” 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. It’s for Arthur’s project, Lucas offered his help a few weeks ago and Arthur just decided to take him up on it.”

Eliott considered this. “Sounds like Lucas,” he shrugged, and Imane nodded in agreement. “Want to go to lunch with just me then?” he asked.

She eyed him with the usual softness she reserved only for him, Lucas, and Sofiane. “Sure.” 

They didn’t stray far from school, because Imane had to get back earlier than Eliott did, but they settled in at a small cafe and Imane filled Eliott in on the bio project she’d been working on. He’d always known she was brilliant, but the things she was talking about flew so far over his head that he was too intimidated to stop and ask her to re-explain it all, in much simpler terms.

Lucas would have understood every word she was saying, Eliott was almost entirely certain of it, though he probably would have kept Eliott in the dark as well because he thought it was funny. 

“Is Lucas working on a project too, then? Or is he working with you?” he asked as soon as she finished her explanation. Maybe that was part of why he’d been so MIA lately, if this project was consuming a lot of his time. 

“We all have our own projects,” she said, “Lucas’ is very ambitious, so he should probably spend more time working on that than on Arthur’s, but he only listens to you, so anything I say goes in one ear and out the other.”

Eliott knew she was joking, but he felt compelled to say, “Please, Imane, I think you might be the only person Lucas respects as his superior.”

“His superior, huh? I’ll have to tell him you said that,” she said with a smirk. 

He laughed. “Feel free, I’m not sure it’s much of a secret.”

“You two are good, then, I assume?” she clarified, and he remembered that, like most of their friends, the last they’d seen each other Lucas and Eliott had been steadfastly avoiding one another. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” he assured her. “A little communication goes a long way.”

It was true enough, they had communicated a fair bit, even if there was still some things not talked about. Eliott was pretty sure all of his feelings were out in the open, he didn’t think he had anything to hide, hadn’t had anything to hide before, really, but with no worry of feelings for Spiderman he felt a bit freer in his love for Lucas. 

They never lied to each other, and they never hid anything from each other, except that they did. Sure, hiding the fact that they’d both been in love with each other wasn’t a harmful thing to hide, but Eliott did worry, in the back of his mind, if that meant they could hide a variety of other things. Like whatever it was that was weighing so heavily on Lucas’ mind. 

“Are you sure?” Imane asked, drawing his mind back to the present. It was quite annoying how perceptive she was. 

“I think he’s hiding something from me,” Eliott admitted, dropping his chin into his hands. 

Imane was silent for a minute, not quite the reaction he’d been expecting. He’d hoped she’d jump right into easing his worries. “What makes you think that?” she asked instead. 

Eliott shrugged to the best of his ability, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. He’s been weirdly absent lately, even longer than we’ve been together, you know? And even when we’re together, it’s like he’s a million miles away at times. He keeps saying it has nothing to do with me, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, but if something’s bothering him I want to be there for him, the way he’s been there for me many times before.”

Imane was considering him carefully, and Eliott blushed, realizing he’d unloaded quite a bit of worry that he had barely allowed himself to consider fully. And he wasn’t worried, not really, but he was. He was worried. The last time Lucas had been distant like this, hiding things, was when he’d been struggling to come out, and Eliott knew what a painful time that had been for him. He hated to think Lucas was suffering again in silence. 

“I…” Imane paused, biting her lip. Eliott wasn’t sure if she knew something or if she was just struggling to find the right thing to say to him. “Lucas internalizes everything, we both know that, and I don’t think opening up comes easily to him, even though he trusts you more than anyone.”

“I know that,” Eliott agreed, “I just— I don’t want him to trust me halfway.”

“Have you told him that?”

Eliott sighed. “Not in such defined words.”

He wasn’t sure if defining his words would have helped much anyway. Lucas would probably just assure him that he trusted him, and then Eliott would allow himself to be kissed senseless and forget all about any hesitations he had. 

Imane bit her lip. “Look, I— and everyone— know that Lucas loves you more than he’s ever loved another person, ok? I really don’t think you have to worry about that at all, but he might be scared to tell you some things, worried about how you might react or if it’ll make you love him any less. He’s terrified you’ll walk out on him someday, just like his father, and though it may be an irrational fear, doesn’t make it any less scary to him.”

So he’d been told quite a few times recently. “But what could he possibly have to say that would ever make me think any different of him?” Eliott wondered aloud. He let out a rueful laugh. “Is he a government spy or something, leading a nefarious double life?”

Imane stayed silent, refusing to indulge his idiotic ramblings, which was probably a good move on her part. He felt bad venting his frustrations out on her, but it hadn't been his intention to do so when he asked her out to lunch, if that counted for anything.

“I wouldn’t care if he was a government spy! I wouldn’t care if he was anything, because he’s just Lucas to me, and just Lucas is more than enough,” he said softly, dropping his hands onto the table. 

“Then tell him that,” Imane said.

“I’m sure he already knows.”

“Probably,” she agreed, “But it doesn’t hurt to repeat the sentiment.”

He leaned back in his chair. “I guess…”

It was then that he thought to himself, this was what it was to be in love. Sure he’d been in love before Lucas, and he knew what love was, at least he thought he did, but love wasn’t always soft kisses and looks shared across rooms and hands and bodies and nights pressed close to one another. Love was worried conversations about the other, frustrated sighs, and paint fights, and always coming back to one another because it hurt more than anything not to. It was a choice as much as it was destiny. Fate may have led him to Lucas, but it was his choice to love Lucas that kept them together day by day. Love without purpose was the kind of love that was fleeting, never lasting longer than it began. It was the kind of love he’d had with Lucille, but everything with Lucas had been different from the very beginning. 

A stunning realization, one that caught him unawares, was that he loved Lucas differently than he’d ever loved another person. He loved Lucas with the same depth and intensity he did his favorite films, which maybe to someone who didn’t know him might not seem all that intense at all, but Eliott knew better. He knew that even when people disappointed him, his favorite movies would always be there, his favorite music, his favorite books. Lucas was like that, a solid force in his life that he always knew would catch him should he fall or should the world hit him a little too hard. 

That was why this all scared him, he was coming to realize, because it raised the question of what if Lucas didn’t see him in the same respect? He loved him, he loved him purposefully, that much Eliott was able to ascertain, but did he love him with that infinite depth reserved for the things that made people feel most at home, most comfortable in this wild, spinning world? Questioning was part of understanding, and communication, more often than not was the only answer. Idriss had been right all that time ago, Imane was right now, even if she hadn’t been so blunt about it. 

Eliott wanted Lucas to know the intricacies of his heart, and Eliott wanted to know the intricacies of Lucas’ heart. It was only a matter of whether or not he was willing to share. 

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott: i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever

Lucas: Me too

Eliott: bio project?

Lucas: Something like that

Eliott: want help? or moral support?

Lucas: I wish… but I think I need solitude to get this to work

Eliott: yeah, yeah of course

Eliott: if you change your mind though, you know where to find me <3

Lucas: I love you

Eliott: i love you too

Lucas: I’m going to kill Arthur

Eliott: hello to you too

Eliott: should i be worried? 

Lucas: Lemme get back to you on that 

Eliott: your project or his?

Lucas: His

Lucas: I swear, for someone so smart he can be so dumb

Eliott: sounds like someone i know

Lucas: Yeah, Arthur

Eliott: pretty sure we both know i meant someone else ;)

Lucas: Yourself?

Eliott: fuck arthur 

Eliott: come over 

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: now    

Lucas: What????

Eliott: jesus fuck my wifi is shit 

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: what i meant to say was fuck arthur

Eliott: as in f off arthur not like go to town with arthur

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: and come over to my place

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: preferably now

Eliott: or sooner

Lucas: Eliott???????

Lucas: ??????????????

Lucas: Fuck Idriss

Lucas: Now

Eliott: you’re hilarious, do you know that?

Lucas: No, tell me

Eliott: well now i don’t want to

Lucas: Tease

Eliott: careful who you call a tease, lallemant

Lucas: Would a tease be at your door right now?

Eliott: wait for real?

Lucas: Let me in asshole I’m cold

Eliott: just for that…

Lucas: Eliott, love of my life, man of my dreams, please let me inside otherwise I will fuck Arthur

Eliott: love of your life, man of your dreams, huh ;)

Lucas: Dialing Arthur as we speak

Eliott: i buzzed you in a few minutes ago love, no need to get your panties in a bunch

Lucas: I’ll bunch your panties

Eliott: not quite the sexy talk i was expecting but we can work with it

Lucas: I hate you. So much.

Eliott: love you too

Eliott: now get your ass up here, i’m getting cold 

Lucas: You’re getting cold???

Eliott: hey, can i come over?

Lucas: Now isn’t a great time

Eliott: is it ever?

Lucas: What?

Eliott: sorry. long day.

Lucas: I can call you in a bit, if that works?

Eliott: don’t worry about it, i’m tired anyway

Lucas: Ok… the offer stands, though, in case you want to talk

Eliott: thanks

Lucas: Of course

Lucas: Sorry about the other day

Lucas: I should have been there for you

Eliott: what are you talking about?

Eliott: l, it’s 3 am go to bed

Lucas: You’re up, aren’t you?

Lucas: That’s what I thought

Lucas: Anyway, I’m sorry I wasn’t available when you needed to come over

Lucas: I should have been

Eliott: don’t worry about it, lucas, really

Lucas: I just feel like I’ve been such a terrible boyfriend lately

Eliott: you haven’t

Lucas: I have, though

Lucas: We go to the same school and we barely see each other, and then I’m anywhere but with you after

Eliott: you’re busy, i understand

Eliott: i can’t expect you at my beck and call 24/7 

Eliott: and vice versa, you know?

Lucas: I know. It would be nice if we could be, though, right?

Eliott: if i had my way you’d never leave my side

Eliott: not in a creepy way 

Lucas: Haha, I know, El

Lucas: Me too

Eliott: get some sleep, ok?

Eliott: there are no thoughts worth worrying that pretty little head of yours 

Lucas: Pretty, huh?

Eliott: did i stutter?

Lucas: No 

Lucas: :)

Eliott: goodnight, loverboy

Lucas: Loverboy? Isn’t that you?

Eliott: you can be my loverboy too

Lucas: Ok <3

Lucas: Night, loverboy

Eliott: hey, lucas, can i come over?

Eliott: no crises, i just want to talk to you

Eliott: not a bad talk

Eliott: just like, talk talk

Eliott: i’ve just been putting this off too long

Eliott: ok that sounds like a bad talk but i promise it’s not lol

Eliott: i love you

Eliott: i’m coming over ok?

🕷🕷🕷🕷

It had been over a week since Eliott had spoken with Imane, and he knew that he shouldn’t have put off talking with Lucas for so long, especially since all he wanted to talk about was how much Lucas meant to him, but it was still a bit scary. And Lucas was still a bit unavailable. He hadn’t texted Eliott back that day either, but Eliott decided he’d take his chances, kick Arthur out if he had to.

He knocked on the door to the flat, checking his phone again to see if there was any response from Lucas. None. He bit his lip in disappointment, though he knew that Lucas had a habit of not looking at his phone for hours on end. 

The door swung open and Eliott was met with the face of his boyfriend, slightly out of breath, shirt on inside out. 

Eliott narrowed his eyes. “You weren’t fucking Arthur, were you?”

Lucas’ surprised expression softened as he melted into a laugh. “No, just got back from working out. Sorry, I just saw your texts, come in.”

The flat looked relatively empty which meant that Mika was probably at work, Manon was probably with the girls, and Lisa was probably sleeping in her room. Lucas led Eliott down the hallway, stopping right in front of the door to his bedroom. 

“You wanted to talk?” he asked a bit nervously.

“Kind of, yeah,” Eliott said, opening the door, because it didn’t seem like Lucas was going to. Lucas’ hand brushed against his as he went to sit on the bed, eyes darting around the room. “It’s nothing to be afraid of,” he assured him with a small laugh.

“What?” Lucas said, finally looking at him. “Oh. Um, yeah.”

Eliott furrowed his brows as Lucas sat tentatively on the edge of the bed. “Are you ok?”

“Why do you ask?” Lucas laughed with a false cheeriness. 

“You seem a little on edge,” Eliott said slowly, following Lucas’ eyeline around the room until he felt Lucas’ hand on his face and snapped their eyes back to meet again. 

“Sorry,” Lucas apologized breathlessly, “I’ve been—”

“Busy, I know,” Eliott said. Lucas shrugged, twisting his lips into a sort of apologetic grimace. Eliott sighed, taking Lucas’ hand in his and folding their fingers together. Lucas’ presence— or lack thereof— wasn’t what he was there to talk about. He had to focus, take Imane’s advice, remember all that he’d been thinking about since they spoke. 

“So, um, I realized something recently,” Eliott began, steady as he could, looking down at their joined hands. Lucas’ were rough and calloused, knicks and scrapes all over the back of them. They’d been like that for a while, but Eliott had never asked about it.

Lucas nodded at him to continue, and he did. “I was thinking about you, like I always do, and how much I love you and all that, and I know that you know I love you, but I know that we’re both still scared of being hurt. It’s in the nature of loving someone and allowing yourself to be loved to be scared of being hurt, but I just wanted to talk about why you don’t need to be scared of that, I guess. I don’t just love you because fate decreed that you’re my one true soulmate or because kissing you feels like coming home, I love you because it’s my favorite thing to do, and I want to do it. I want to feel it. Does that make sense?”

“I, uh, I think so,” Lucas said, looking slightly taken aback.

“I love movies,” he continued, even as Lucas looked a bit bewildered, “I love them even when I hate everyone in the world, because I know that even if they hurt me, it’s the kind of pain that I can handle, because the love is worth any trouble it takes to get there. That’s how I feel about you, I love you like a movie.”

Eliott wasn’t sure if he was explaining himself properly or not, but Lucas’ eyes were soft, and his thumb was tracing circles across Eliott’s palm, so all appeared to be going according to plan, even if the metaphor was a bit confusing. 

“I know there are things you aren’t telling me, but I just want you to know that I don’t care, whatever it is. Nothing could make me love you— or want to love you— any less.” He grinned, glancing down at the sheets, then casting his gaze around the room. “Even if you’re some government spy sent here from Russia, or a secret Prince in hiding from his home country, or—”

He cut himself off, eyes catching on something across the room, in Lucas’ closet. He could feel the blood drain from his face as he looked away from the closet, to Lucas, who’d followed his gaze. Lucas instantly looked petrified, etches of an adoring smile still ghosting his face. 

Eliott stood up from the bed slowly, like he might scare the object that had caught his attention away. Lucas sat frozen on the bed, watching him go until he found what he was looking for. 

His brown jacket, the one he’d given Spiderman all that time ago. Why did Lucas have it? There had to be a simple explanation. Maybe he’d found it somewhere, maybe it wasn’t Eliott’s jacket at all. Or maybe… Lucas had been with Spiderman this whole time? Had everyone been wrong to say that Lucas loved him, and the real prize had been the same as the one Eliott had yearned for not too long ago? Or maybe… Eliott didn’t want to allow himself to think it, didn’t want to believe that he’d been lied to over and over again. But there it was, in his hands, the answer he’d been looking for all along.

“Even if I was Spiderman?” Lucas asked, voice a gentle whisper from where he still sat on the bed, fear alight in his eyes. Every part of Eliott wanted to run over there and nullify his fears, wrap Lucas in his arms until he smiled, but no, he couldn’t do that. 

Eliott took one step back towards him, then two more. “Are you?” 

Lucas looked up at him, and he broke. Tears filled his eyes as he opened his mouth. “I can explain everything,” Lucas said in a small voice, so small it didn’t suit him one bit.

But suddenly, Eliott found that he didn’t want an explanation.

“I have to go,” he said, jacket in hand. He didn’t know what to do with it, should he leave it there, or should he take it with him? He threw it on, noticing how it smelled like Lucas, wondering how he’d never noticed that Spiderman smelled like Lucas. 

“Eliott wait!” Lucas called, following him out into the hallway. Eliott didn’t turn around, because he feared that if he did he would break as well. How long had it been? Had their whole relationship been built on lies and deceit? 

Eliott kept walking until he knew Lucas wasn’t following, right out of the flat and onto the street and to a place that he knew would always be there for him when his mind was a mess and he didn’t know what to do. He heard Lucas’ broken voice in his mind, replayed all the fervent glances and unexplained absences and moments with Spiderman where it had felt like they knew one another. 

He also remembered what he’d just been in the middle of saying to Lucas, about his love, about how he would love Lucas no matter who he was or what he could possibly have to hide. That was the thing, he did love him still, even knowing Lucas had been playing him from the start. He had to believe that Lucas loved him back, that there really was a simple explanation, and maybe he’d let Lucas explain it, but he still needed some time to gather himself into someone who was ready to receive that information. 

His phone buzzed once, twice.

Lucas: Eliott please

Lucas: Please come back Eliott. I love you, I do, I’m so sorry for not telling you

Eliott: stop texting me

He sent the message, pausing his walking and staring down at the screen. Lucas’ worst fear was coming true, he realized. He was leaving, just like everyone always left Lucas. There was a possibility that none of this had been real, but on the off chance that it was, Eliott had to say something before there was no going back.  

Eliott: i love you

Eliott: i just need some time

Eliott: i meant what i said

He shut his phone off, regretting and not regretting what he’d sent. His feet carried him all the way to the petite ceinture, and he knew Lucas would be able to find him there if he really wanted to, but he didn’t care. He slumped against the side of the bridge, pulling his knees to his chest, and burying his head between them, screwing his eyes shut. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, thoughts swirling in his mind at a rapid pace, but he knew that it was dark now, he could tell by the amount of light behind his eyelids. Still, he didn’t open his eyes. He’d stay there all night if he had to, he just needed to make some sense of everything that had just been revealed to him. 

Footsteps startled him out of his stupor and he blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the lack of light. 

“Lucas?” he called out, but the footsteps went silent. He furrowed his brows a moment, listening as well as he possibly could, and hearing nothing but the sound of his own shallow breaths. A minute passed, then two, and he relaxed back against the wall. No one was there. He was alone, and he was still trying to decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

He blinked slowly, letting his eyes rest before he opened them again, breathing in and out slowly. Then, the footsteps again. 

“Lucas?” he asked, a bit more hesitantly, opening his eyes.

There was a blinding light, and then—

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott was used to darkness and the terrifyingly simple solitude it brought with it. He was no stranger to monsters, knew that he had the worst ones of all inside his own mind sometimes, but he’d always come out of those fights victorious. Still, the darkness lurked, always waiting to bring him back to where it thought he belonged. Sometimes Eliott himself thought he belonged there.

He was used to the darkness, but somewhere along the way he’d gotten used to the light that came after, the beacon of hope that usually wore a face with wide blue eyes he could get lost in for days. But now, there was no light. 

Just the dark.

No blue eyes soft with reassurance, no wild laugh or tousled hair or calloused fingertips.

Just the dark. 

Eliott was used to darkness, yes, but he was scared of it now. Scared that this wasn’t the darkness he knew so well, the kind he’d beat in battle a million times over. He felt like a child, clinging to memories of a nightlight long since thrown away, struck with the realization that he was alone, and if the monsters wanted to attack, there was nothing standing in their way. 

It was dark, it was dark, it was dark.

Until it wasn’t. 

The light shone in Eliott’s eyes so bright he near went blind from it at first, holding his hands up in front of his face and squinting his eyes. A low, sinister chuckle emanated from the light, and he immediately knew that this light was darkness in disguise, that wherever he was was somewhere worse than anything he could have ever imagined. 

The initial shock of brightness cleared, and Eliott saw beyond, right into the impassive gaze of the man without a face.

“Well, well, well,” he said, “Long time no see.”

Eliott said nothing, not understanding, and not trusting his vocal chords enough to make any noise.

“You’re him, then,” the man continued. Eliott still didn’t know how he spoke, without a mouth, but that was the last thing on his mind at the moment. 

“I’m not Spiderman,” he eked out, voice raw and shaky.

The man with no face laughed, like gravel crunching under a car tire. “No, you are not. You’re something better.” The man with no face smiled and— wait, that couldn’t be right. Eliott blinked, wondering if he was seeing things, wondering if this was all a dream. Suddenly the man with no face had a face, and it was scarier than anything Eliott could ever have imagined. 

Eliott looked at a mirror image of himself, and heard his own voice utter words that shook him to his very core. 

“You are Spiderman’s demise.”

[makepunsmaketracks]

Cownies

Original fiction

Girls have a fluffy lil Halloween together. They bake some stuff. It’s cute :)

Triggers: stomach mention maybe? (it’s blink and you’ll miss it)

“Come back here!” Charlie shouted. She was glaring after her friend, but a smile was fighting its way onto her lips.

“Catch me then!” Jo threw over her shoulder.

Charlie did catch her outside the bathroom. The blonde tackled her and firmly wrapped her arms around Jo’s waist. “Can’t get away now.” Charlie mumbled into Jo’s shoulder.

“Oh no!” Jo cried dramatically. “I’ve been captured by the ugly troll!”

Charlie snorted and dug a finger into her friend’s stomach. It was followed by an “ow!” and a swift smack to her arm.

They collapsed on the couch where they had begun and groaned. A comfortable silence reigned until Jo exclaimed, “I’m bored! Let’s make something.”

Charlie had been resting her eyes after chasing Jo around the house for a good ten minutes. She groaned in protest and turned to look at her. “How do you still have energy?”

Jo looked at her with a pout.

Charlie sighed and acquiesced, shaking her head and mumbling quietly, “I can never say no to you.”

Jo’s smile lit up the sitting room as she dragged her friend into the kitchen. “Great! I wanna make spooky brownies!”

Jo rummaged in the pantry while Charlie leaned on the counter watching with a small smile. “We’ve got a recipe somewhere-” Charlie began.

“Nope!” Jo cut her off.

Charlie slowly closed her mouth and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“No recipe!” Jo had a glint in her eye that twisted Charlie’s stomach into knots.

“No… recipe?”

“No recipe!” Jo shouted with glee. “We’re gonna make an entirely new kind of brownie! A spooky brownie! It will be fun, trust me.”

Charlie laughed at the determination in her friend’s voice. “Okay! Spooky brownies. Thematic. On this, the spookiest of nights.”

“Yes! That’s the spirit...s!” Jo turned to the ingredients she had gathered. “Now… we need…”

Charlie watched her friend ramble on about how if they used more flour that would make it drier but if they put in water would that… etc.

The younger girl hadn’t ever baked without a recipe, but it wouldn't hurt anything to let her friend experiment. Plus, the excitement radiating off Jo was infectious. Charlie could admit it sounded fun.

Suddenly, she had a thought. She turned to the cabinet behind her and reached up to the top shelf. Her hand touched various areas of empty air before landing on a small round container. She pulled it down.

Jo was still talking to herself as Charlie came up behind her. “But this is really dark cocoa, so we need more sugar than with other kinds… what?” Jo smiled a bit self-consciously as she noticed Charlie watching.

“Would these help? With the spookiness.” Charlie held out the container of cupcake liners. There were little ghosts and pumpkins dancing across the bright green background.

Jo’s eyes shined with excitement. “Oh my gosh, yes! These are adorable! I didn’t know you had these!”

Charlie shrugged. “Mom bought them years ago when she had to bake for a work party. We didn’t use all of them, and they sort of just migrated to the back of the cabinet. I just now remembered we even kept them.” Charlie smiled. “So you like them?”

“Yes, I love them! Thank you! This is perfect for the spoops!” Jo cradled the cupcake liners as if it was a nugget of gold. Her eyes were shining as big as the full moon. It made Charlie feel bubbly and light.

“Well, you’re welcome. I guess.” Charlie rubbed her hand on the back of her neck abashedly.

Jo put down the spoopy liners on the counter with the other ingredients and hugged Charlie. “They’re great! Now hand me the sugar. Let’s put them to good use!”

Neither had a great knowledge of baking, so the decision to forego the recipe wasn’t maybe the best idea. But they were having fun, and that’s the important thing. They argued over the amount of sugar to put in (Charlie wanted more, Jo liked darker chocolate), and eventually Charlie conceded to Jo before waiting for her back to turn and adding another half cup to the bowl.

After haggling the rest of the ingredients they thought best for fudgy brownie/cupcakes, they finally got a semi-recipe they were both happy with.

Jo tasted a bit of the dark brown sludge they had concocted. She narrowed her yes at Charlie, who was smirking gleefully, safely on the other side of the kitchen island.  “You added sugar didn’t you.“

“Can’t take it out now!” Charlie cackled.

Jo shook her head and got out a cupcake pan. “Now we are going to use your delightfully spoopy cupcake thingies!”

“Liners.”

“Whatever. Choco-goodness holders!” Jo dismissed, flapping her hands at Charlie.

She carefully separated the cupcake liners for each cupcake the pan would hold. “Hmm. Looks like we’ll only have enough for a dozen.”

“Six for you. Six for me.” Charlie put in. “I don’t know if I could do more than that anyway. Depends on the brow-”

“Cownies!” Jo shouted excitedly, grinning at her inventive name.

Charlie paused, sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “... cownies.”

“Yes. Cupcake brownies.” Jo said again.

“... fine. Spooky Cownies it is then. What actually makes them spooky?” Charlie asked.

“The holders.”

“... fair enough.”

They decided on a low heat for now and just watch to make sure they don’t spill over. Charlie leaned on the counter across from the oven while Jo sat directly in front of it at her feet.

“I’m really curious how they turned out.” Jo said, vibrating impatiently.

“Yeah, me too. I wonder if they’re edible.” Charlie teased lightly, nudging Jo with her knee. Jo leaned on her leg and sighed.

“I hope so. It would be so disappointing if they weren’t.”

Charlie frowned. She made a fervent wish to whatever gods were listening to make the cownies taste perfect.

“But!” Jo cried, sitting up, “We had fun! And that’s the most important thing!” She smiled up at Charlie. Charlie smiled softly back.

The cownies took about 15 minutes to fully bake. They didn’t even do anything for the first ten. In the last five minutes, they were both getting nervous because they were rising so much. (“It’s. ALIVE!” “Charlie, sit down, they could be ruined!”) But they weren’t ruined. They rose beautifully and settled into their spoopy liners with good grace (for a cupcake).

Jo carefully pulled out the toothpick. It was clean. “They’re ready!” Jo shouted excitedly. Charlie hovered over her shoulder. “Finally! But they have to cool first.”

They were ready to eat sooner than expected. Jo took one and handed Charlie another.

“Ready?” Jo asked excitedly.

Charlie nodded grinning.

They bit into the cownie together.

“...hmm”

“Hmm.”

“They’re not... bad.” Charlie says tentatively.

“Yeah… they’re not bad.” Jo says.

Charlie can see Jo’s lips turn down slightly.

“But they’re wonderfully spooktacular! And I would eat six of them right now.” Charlie reassures her quickly.

Jo smiles softly.

“And we had fun! So that’s the most important thing!” Charlie continues.

“Aw, Charlie. Thank you.” Jo took Charlie’s hand and squeezed. “We did have fun. Thanks for indulging me.”

“It was no problem.” Charlie insisted.

“Still... “ Jo yawned then. “Wanna cuddle on the couch and watch Hocus Pocus again?”

“Heck yeah I do!”

Author’s note: This is the first fic I’m posting on my tumblr, so let me know if you liked it :) i crave validation

[highly-opinionated-nerd]

Hello! First, I love your writing! It's so good! Second, do you have any other gintama fusion ideas or just gintoshi because I'd love to see more in your style! Obviously, if you're working on other things it's fine, but I wanted to let you know how cool I think the thought you put into them is and I'd love to see more!

Oh my gosh, hi! Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words, I’m so glad that you liked Gintoshi. I had tons of fun writing that fic. So much fun, in fact, that I later went on to write a whole 54 chapters of platonic One Piece fusions, so! I definitely agree, platonic fusions are the BOMB. As of this point in time I am working on other things, and I don’t really have any plans to write any Ao3-worthy Gintama fusions, but that definitely doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about them. You can have these bullet point rambles, though:

I think I mentioned this in the Gintoshi fic itself, but the various members of the Shinsengumi have definitely fused before. Right? I mean, no matter your views about platonic vs romantic fusion, there’s no denying that it’s an instant power-up, and those boys do a lot of fighting. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and by that I mean swallow your pride and agree to fuse with your coworker so you’ll both live to see another day.

Hijikata+Kondo (Hijikondo? Konhiji? Konkata??? Names are hard) is pretty stable, pretty chill. “Awkward older cousin who wants to be supportive but doesn’t know you that well and is kinda shy” vibes. But he’s also the very epitome of Lawful Good. He’ll turn on you in a second if he even thinks you’re gonna do or have already done something illegal. And you don’t want him as an enemy, because he can and will lift you with one hand and toss you like a ragdoll.

Hijikata+Okita you also don’t want as an enemy, but unfortunately for you you don’t really have a choice because to him, EVERYONE is an enemy. He’s definitely a more unstable fusion, but one of those ones that you have to work to talk into unfusing. If left to his own devices, he’ll just start swinging until there’s no one left to swing at. The very, very few people he trusts completely (Kondo, Matsuraida, Mitsuba) have his unfailing loyalty though, and if one of them said ‘go jump off a bridge’, he would. Basically what I’m trying to get across is that he acts more on instinct than actual intellect if that makes sense

Kondo+Okita is somewhere between those two extremes. In my head he’s actually kind of similar to Zenzou, the ninja guy??? A sort of scruffy, chaotically unpredictable guy who doesn’t care as much about protecting the law as he does about protecting himself and his people

In one of these ‘fuse to get out of the fight’ situations, Hijikata tried to fuse with Yamazaki. It Did Not Work. They were not compatible. There may have been a few small scale explosions as a result. They never tried to do that again.

Similarly, Gintoki definitely fused with the rest of the Joui Four during the amanto invasion. He’s most stable with Zura, but has no trouble fusing with Sakamoto. He and Takasugi were always a bit more unstable, but again, a terrifying enemy to have in battle if they ever shared a common interest long enough to fuse about it.

I’m a sucker for platonic fusion as a way of coping with angsty situations, and to express feelings that you have difficulty putting words to, so I like to think that they (the Joui 4) also fused in noncombat situations. As a show of solidarity and support. Gin and Zura probably still do, every now and then.

Once (one singular time) all four of them fused together at once. It was an act of sheer desperation, and it really took a toll out of them all mentally and physically, but the amanto never suffered a loss so dear as they did that day.

Kagura and Shinpachi can fuse more easily with each other than either of them can with Gin. He has too much weight on his shoulders, things he doesn’t want them to see. Kagura+Shinpachi is a lighthearted, sweet person, in my head, and I love them

There are tons more possibilities for fusions when you look at the rest of the cast of characters: Gin+Zenzou, Shinpachi+Yamazaki, Otae+Kyuubei, Tsukuyo+Hinowa (!!!), Kagura+Soyo (!!!!!!!!!!!). Really as long as there is touch and intent to fuse, even if it’s just the unconscious need to share your thoughts or feelings with someone else, anyone can fuse. You get to smash the two (or three, or more!) characters together and decide which elements of their individual designs are present in the fusion, which is GREAT fun. I think everyone should try it at some point, it’s awesome.

BONUS bullet point here at the end to make a small confession...there’s always two parts to the fics I write: the stuff that I think is acceptable for publication to the world at large, and the stuff that will only ever exist inside my head. The latter category is mainly stuff that I decided was too far out of character, too far removed from canon, toooooo self-indulgent to be published and taken seriously by anyone. But I almost, almost included a second part to the Gintoshi fic in which Hijikata was seriously injured (I always seem to do this to Hijikata...baby I’m so sorry) and Gintoki fused with him as a way to save his life. Kondo and Okita and Shinpachi and Kagura and whoever else happened to be around rushed him to the hospital, of course. Once there, the doctors told him to unfuse so they could treat Hijikata, and he refused. Gintoki, specifically, refused, because he was worried that Hijikata wouldn’t make it if he separated from him, and that thought really panicked him. Eventually he does, and Hijikata gets stitches and medicine or whatever else he needs. The doctors come back the next morning to follow up and they find Gintoshi there again, stubbornly refusing to unfuse. Again. Anyway, ideally that scenario would lead up to the two of them realizing their romantic feelings for each other, and there’d be a big confession scene and they’d spend all their free time as Gintoshi from then on. Ideally for me, at least, haha!

ANYWAY anyway, in conclusion, fusions are good. Thank you so much again, anon, for your compliments and for giving me a chance to blather on for a little while about a subject that is near and dear to my heart ❤️