#BUT! i will say this lads: it feels like i just walked into another dimension where everything feels good yet tense

[ladykailolu]

Sorry, I just get so caught up on the fact that men smell sooooooo fucking good when they wear cologne that you can't really smell or notice until you're like....upclose and personal with them in like a slow dance or whatever, and I cant help but say that that delightful and exciting sensory experience fits with my image of Godot.

Yeah I wanna slow dance with Godot and check how he smells. To....check his vibes.

[dontcare77ghj]

Don’t Touch That Dial

Wanda x reader x Vision

Non-reader POV

It was the middle of the night. Vision, Y/N, and Wanda were all sound asleep in their single beds when Wanda bolted upright at a loud thudding sound.

"What was that?" Wanda wondered aloud. She looked to her right to see Y/N and Vision sleeping. For a second, she questioned if she should chance to wake them up, but when the thuds continued, she turned the light on with her magic.

Stop being silly, Wanda chided herself, turning the light off. But what if it is something? Wanda wondered, snapping the light back on. It's probably nothing, Wanda. She decided turning the light off again, this time for good.

While Wanda was debating waking her loves, she hadn't noticed they had already woken.

"Wanda?" Vision asked, pulling his eye mask off.

"Yes, dear?" 

"Are you using your powers to turn on the light?" Vision questioned, staring at the window.

"Yes, dear," Wanda admitted, feeling guilty.

"Allow me, dear." Vision said, getting out of bed as Y/N sat up.

"What even woke you up?" Y/N asked before there was another loud thud. "Never mind."

"What do you see?" Wanda questioned Vision, who was now standing at the window.

"Only your lovely rosebushes and carnations," Vision told her.

"That's all?" Y/N wondered.

"Are you using your night vision, Vision?" Wanda quizzed the man.

"I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss." Vision promised, turning to face both women. "You have absolutely no reason to be frightened." The android said before there was another loud bang. Vision let out a loud yelp and jumped back into bed quickly.

"You were saying?" Y/N asked, raising a brow while Wanda shook her head. 

"Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property." Vision suggested.

"Walking through walls. Moving objects without touching them. Causing lightning of sunny days." Wanda teased.

"I did that once, and it was because you scared me," Y/N grumbled. 

"Wanda, sweetheart, you can't possibly be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us," Vision asked before there was another bang.

The three jumped, and Wanda caused all three beds to join.

"One of us should really determine the source of that sound." Vision commented.

"That's something we could do," Y/N said, clutching her blankets.

"One of us should." Wanda agreed.

It was more a bang this time that caused them all to jump.

"Oh, this getting ridiculous." Y/N snapped, pushing her blankets down. "I am going to take a look." 

"Be careful, Y/N."

"Oh, God." 

Without moving from her spot, Y/N blew the curtains open to reveal the tree. Its branches, crashing against the window.

"Well, I think we handled that well," Wanda said, sinking down into the bed.

"Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look how you seized the opportunity to redecorate." Vision said, noting that all their beds were pressed together.

"This is better, isn't it?" Wanda asked.

"Mmm." Vision nodded before Wanda pointed her finger, and instead of three separate beds, the three of you were now on one large joint bed.

"Why did it take us this long?" Y/N asked, smiling at how close she was to her husband and wife.

"Wanda, darling?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Hit the lights." 

The three pulled the blankets over their heads, and Wanda snapped the lights off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, I bring you The Cabinet of Mysteries." Vision practiced in front of an invisible audience. "Wanda, that's your cue." 

"You said "The Cabinet of Mysteries?" Wanda called from behind him. 

"I said "The Cabinet of Mysteries."

"Then that's my cue." Wanda agreed and began to wheel a large cabinet into their living room.

"Holy Toledo!" Vision exclaimed, rushing to help Wanda. "Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?"

"Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully functioning portcullis, and no-one knows why." Wanda shook her head. 

"I heard Fred was going to throw Linda into the moat," Y/N said from inside the cabinet. "Can we hurry this along? I'm getting claustrophobic." She added.

"Let's keep going." Wanda nodded, taking her place.

"Yes. Yes. Where was I? Ah, yes, watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear." Vision rehearsed as Wanda held her hand up and gasped. The two opened the doors, and Vision helped Wanda into the cabinet.

"You really are very dashing." Wanda complimented, breaking character.

"Thank you, darling." Vision smiled. "Fear not, Glamour, for I, Illusion vow, to bring you back." The android said, shutting the doors on Wanda. "Abracadabra." He announced, opening the doors to reveal Y/N standing in Wanda's place. "What's this? I seem to have changed my lovely assistant into another lovely being." 

"I saw your assistant in the dimension of the cabinet," Y/N said as Vision helped her out. "To bring her back, I think you'll have to try the spell again."

"So we shall." Vision nodded. He and Y/N closed the doors once more, and Vision held his wand at the ready. "Abracadabra." He said, tapping the cabinet twice, and when the doors opened, this time, there stood Wanda, who was clapping her hands and grinning widely.

"Darlings, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?"

"That's the whole point, sweetheart," Y/N assured her husband. "In a real magic act, everything is fake. Not everyone can do what Wanda does."

"The talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate." Wanda fretted. "Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so."

"Well, I don't think that should be a problem." Vision joked, gesturing to his undisguised face.

Y/N and Vision chuckled at Vision's joke, but Wanda just stared between the two.

"This is our home now. I just want us to fit in." Wanda admitted.

"Oh, Wand, of course, we fit in," Y/N promised, resting her hand on the woman's waist.

"And if not, then we shall. And we're going to knock the neighborhood's socks off. Especially if the two of you are dressed like this." Vision commented, picking up one of his wife's costumes.

"Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume." Wanda joked, cracking a smile. "Oh, Y/N, we better get going if we want to make the planning committee meeting." Wanda gasped, noting the time on her wristwatch.

"That's me off too, actually." Vision said, pulling on his sweater. "There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch at the public library. After last night's excitement, I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff." He admitted.

"That's an outta sight idea, Vis." Y/N complimented.

"Real swell, sweetheart. You tell those tree branches whose boss." Wanda teased, leaning up to kiss the man.

"Would you look at us? Wanda, Y/N, and Vision, Westview fitter-inners." Vision smiled before kissing Y/N. "I'll see you both at curtain call." He said, moving to leave.

"Do you have your keys, Vis?" Y/N aked before he left the house. 

"Of course." Vision said, pulling on a hat and his glasses. "When have I ever forgot them?" He wondered, causing Y/N and Wanda to share a look.

"Just now, to name one time," Wanda said, floating Vision his set of keys.

"Oh. Perhaps my processors need a cleaning." Vision mused, changing his appearance and taking the floating keys. "Until curtain call!" He exclaimed.

"Until curtain call!" Both women called back.

Y/N and Wanda still had several minutes before they had to leave for the committee meeting. The two moved around the house, putting dishes away, straightening trinkets, and fluffing pillows when there was a loud noise outside.

"Do you think it's the tree?" Y/N wondered as Wanda began to move out the front door. 

But Wanda didn't respond as she continued to walk in a trance-like state.

"Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, following after her wife. Wanda moved outside and towards the rosebushes where a toy helicopter sat. "Do any of our neighbors have children?" Y/N asked, receiving no response once again.

Wanda pulled the toy out of the bush and stared at it in confusion. 

"Wanda? Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Howdie stars!" Agnes exclaimed, suddenly appearing at the gate. 

Both Y/N and Wanda jumped as Agnes chuckled.

"Agnes! Y/N!" Wanda chuckled, holding one hand to her chest. "I'm sorry, what did you say, Agnes?" Wanda asked, taking Y/N's hand and clutching it tightly.

"I brought my pet rabbit," Agnes said, holding up a cage with a large rabbit. "For your magic act." She explained.

"Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes." Wanda nodded. 

"We promise we will take good care of him," Y/N added, taking the cage into her arms. "I'll take him inside." She told Wanda.

"I'll come with. I'll lock the back door." Wanda said, following her wife.

"Senor Scratchy just loves the stage. He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant." Agnes bragged loudly as the two Vision women took her rabbit into their home. "Good morning, Dennis." That was the last thing Y/N and Wanda heard from Agnes as they disappeared into their home.

"You gonna tell me what all that was about?" Y/N asked, putting Senor Scratchy's cage beside the couch.

"What what was all about?" Wanda asked, locking the back door.

"The helicopter." Y/N reminded. "You blanked out on me." She said as they moved back towards the front door.

"I'm having a spacey day, sweetheart. That's all." Wanda assured, closing the front door and stopping Y/N on the porch. "I promise." She said, pressing a kiss to Y/N's lips, taking her hand, and walking back down to Agnes. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Agnes smiled, hooking her arm around Wanda's free one. "So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her merry homemakers?" Agnes questioned the two.

"Dottie, can't be as bad as you say, Agnes." Wanda laughed.

"Wanda, have you met most women? Not everyone's like Agnes or us." Y/N asked, causing Agnes to laugh.

"She's right, you know? You'll notice Dottie's roses bloom under the penalty of death." Agnes told the two, though Wanda scoffed a little. "Can I give you girls a bit of friendly advice?" Agnes asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Is it about how we're dressed?"

"Yes, but it's too late for that now," Agnes said, looking the two over. 

Wanda looked concerned, but Y/N couldn't bring herself to care.

Pants were slowly becoming more incorporated in women's daily wardrobe, and Y/N wouldn't be giving them up for anyone.

"Dottie is the key to everything in this town." Agnes continued. "Country club memberships, parties, school admissions." She teased the two. 

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Wanda shook her head, though there was a smile on her face.

"You get in with Dotties, and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out," Agnes told them. "Just mind your P's and Q's, and you're gonna do just fine." She said assuringly.

"Why can't we just be ourselves?" Y/N asked.

"More or less so," Wanda added.

Agnes stared at the two in confusion before letting out a laugh.

"That's good, girls. Very good." She said.

"Everyone, hurry up, please." A new voice called. 

The three women turned to the left and noticed a fair-haired woman leaving a house with a procession of women behind her.

"Hiya, Dottie!" Agnes called. "Your roses are divine!" She complimented, waving a hand.

Y/N and Wanda both followed suit and waved as well. Wanda little more enthusiastically than Y/N's awkward one.

"Well, thank you." Dottie smiled politely and waved daintily. 

Neither Y/N nor Wanda knew just what they were getting themselves into.

Y/N, Wanda, and Agnes all followed Dottie and her group to the country club. The three had sat to the side as Dottie's followers meticulously set everything up.

As one woman spoke about the fundraiser's progress, Wanda watched Dottie intently as the woman made her ice tea to her liking.

"The rotary club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint, and they'll be installing the final decorations all throughout the town square. And if you recognize the antique footlights, it's because they're from my store." The lady standing finished explaining with a fake smile.

"And the chairs?" Dottie asked, tilting her head to the side.

The woman seemingly froze at Dottie's question before she forced a smile back onto her face.

"I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs." She admitted.

"So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future," Dottie said, grinning at the other women who laughed at her words. "The devil's in the details, Bev," Dottie said, standing as Bev rushed back to her seat in shame.

"That's not the only place he is," Agnes said to Wanda.

"As you all know, the talent show is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary," Dottie explained.

"This might help," Agnes said, raising a small flask.

"Do you have any spare?" Y/N asked, leaning over Wanda, but Agnes shook her head.

"In the eight years since I founded our little club, this event has gotten bigger and better every season." Dottie bragged as a woman passed around a tray of biscuits to Y/N, who handed them onto Wanda.

"Say, those pants are peachy keen. Both sets." The mystery woman complimented.

"Do you really think so?" Wanda asked with wide eyes. "The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried."

"Not me," Y/N mumbled, sipping her drink.

"We only have a few hours until showtime. So, a little less cross chatter and a little more focus would be greatly appreciated," Dottie interrupted, causing the three to freeze.

"Okay." Wanda nodded, passing along the tray. 

"Those little boys and girls are counting on us. All of this is for the children." Dottie said.

The other women, bar Y/N and Wanda, parroted back the phrase, 

"For the children."

Y/N looked very uncomfortable at the chanting women and muttered,

"This is a cult."

But Wanda had been eating her biscuit and parroted the phrase back after everyone else had finished. 

Everyone turned to stare at the Vision women, and Dottie looked more than displeased at the two.

"So I want you all to give yourselves a big hand," Dottie started but was interrupted by Wanda clapping loudly. "At the appropriate time, of course." Dottie scolded as you grabbed Wanda's hands and pulled them down. "But first, let's review event etiquette. The dress code is, of course, upscale garden party,"

"The only reason I didn't clap is that I'm afraid to move." The woman beside Y/N leaned over to whisper.

"I don't think I was paying enough attention to clap," Y/N told her. The woman smiled while Wanda lightly hit her wife's leg.

"I actually don't know what I'm doing here." The mystery woman admitted. 

"I'm starting to feel that way myself," Wanda admitted. "I'm Wanda." She said, holding her hand out.

"I'm, uh, Geraldine." The woman introduced herself after taking Wanda's hand.

"And I'm Y/N."

"And I'm irritated." Dottie interrupted, staring at the three of you, her features pinched together in anger. "Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now you can clap." Dottie commanded. The woman allowed everyone to clap for five seconds before she raised her hand. "And stop."

"How is anyone doing this sober?" Agnes muttered, shaking her head.

Across town, Vision had finally made his way to the library and was rushing inside. Afraid to have missed his chance at joining the committee.

Vision quickly found the group he was looking for, surrounding a table, speaking quietly amongst themselves.

"Pardon me, is this the neighborhood watch meeting?" Vision asked, standing to the left of the group, his hat in his hands.

Everyone turned to stare at the man, all clearly unsure what he was doing there.

"Oh, hiya Vision. Didn't expect to see you here." Norm said. "This is sort of a 'members only' type of deal." He informed his coworker.

"Oh certainly! Right, well." Vision stuttered, rocking back on his heels. "I'll just stay here and be quiet as a church mouse until you open up the floor for new business." Vision assured the assembled group.

"Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business." Herb, his next-door neighbor, admitted.

"Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols?" Vision inquired, pulling up a chair between Herb and Norm. "Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? And what are your protocols for threats such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving?" He pushed.

"No Vision," Norm started, but Vision interrupted him.

"I know these are indeed grave matters." Vision nodded.

"New business actually means another round of Danish," Norm admitted.

"Raspberry or cheese-filled?" Jones asked, pulling a box onto the table and sitting it before Vision.

"Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food." Vision said without thinking. 

Vision didn't even register what he had said until he noticed the rest of the table staring at him in confusion.

"What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. I'm a regular eating machine." Vision rambled.

There were a couple nods at Vision's reasoning, and Herb even huffed out a short laugh before he leaned in close to the table.

"Hey fellas. Vision here does have a point. Now listen up because I got some top-secret intelligence for you." Herb told everyone who leaned in closer to hear.

"Oh, excellent!"

"You know how Johnson's been braggin' about that treehouse he built for his kids?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a prefab job," Herb informed everyone. The table immediately scoffed at his words and nodded along.

"That blockhead can't even hold a hammer." One mocked.

"I can do you one better." Norm bragged. "You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack."

"I knew it! I've never once seen him down at the lanes." Herb shook his head.

Is this how I'm to fit in? Vision pondered. By peddling gossip and stories? Well, if it is to fit in. He decided, nodding to himself.

"I, too have, some top-secret gossip to share." Vision announced. "Norm here's a communist." He declared.

Norm froze for a second as the rest of the table turned to face him. But he didn't have to worry as everyone burst out into boisterous laughter, Norm included.

"Vision, you're a real cut up." Jones complimented.

"You know, I always thought you were kinda square," Norm told him.

"Me? No! I'm as round as they come." Vision said, causing the rest of the men to laugh once more.

"Hey, Vis, card for a stick big Red?" Herb asked, offering a stick of gum to the android.

"Well, hold on a second. Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food." Norm teased as Vision held the gum between two fingers.

"Is gum food?"

"Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication." Vision shrugged, turning his head to Herb for began to stutter.

"Oh no, I don't do that!" Herb denied, shaking his head firmly.

"Well, when in Westview." Vision shrugged, unwrapping the gum. "Cheers." He said, raising the stick before putting it in his mouth.

"Who knew you were such a funny guy?" Norm asked.

"And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense." Herb chuckled. "We actually thought you were serious," Herb said, slapping Vision on the back.

At the rough and sudden movement, Vision accidentally swallowed the gum in his mouth.

Vision could feel the wad of gum sliding down his throat and getting stuck in his internal processors.

"He's funny. All right, so, back to the barbeque." Herb directed the meeting back on topic. 

But what none of the other men noticed was Vision's growing panic at the foreign object now stuck in his internal processors.

Back at the country club, it was now only Y/N, Wanda, and Dottie. 

Wanda and Y/N had been tasked with cleaning up after the meeting while Dottie sat prissily behind them.

"And this is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach," Dottie commented as Wanda heaved a heavy tray of plates onto the table.

"Golly, you're a whiz at all the committee stuff, Dottie." Wanda complimented as Y/N picked up two stacks of teacups. "Thank you for choosing us to help you clean up. I feel so lucky." Wanda commented, taking one stack off Y/N's hands.

"You are." Dottie shrugged as they lugged the china onto the cart.

"I don't like her," Y/N whispered into her wife's ear once their backs were to their host. "Let's just split now."

"Not yet." Wanda denied before turning back to Dottie. "I can't help but wonder if the three of us haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. And I'd like to, we'd like to, correct that if we can."

"And how would you do that?" Dottie asked, her face void of emotion.

Wanda didn't have an answer for Dottie as she chuckled awkwardly and glanced at her wife for an answer. But Y/N didn't have one either.

"I've heard things about you," Dottie revealed, rising to a stand. "About you, about your husband, and about your wife," Dottie said, pointing at both women.

"Well, I don't know what you've been told, but I assure you we don't mean anyone any harm," Wanda said as Y/N moved to stand beside her.

"I don't believe you," Dottie said, staring the two women down with a mean glare.

For a minute, the three women merely stared at one another. Dottie glared in distrust, Wanda looked almost scared, and Y/N was glaring at Dottie for threatening her wife, husband, and their life here.

The staring contest was interrupted by the radio crackling loudly before a man's voice came through it.

"Wanda. Wanda, can you hear? Agent Barton, do you read me?"

"Who is that?" Dottie asked, looking at the radio in fear.

"Wanda? Y/N?"

"Who are you?" Dottie gasped, now turning her fearful gaze to Wanda and Y/N.

The voice continued to call for both Wanda and Y/N. It kept repeating their names until a glass shattered.

The glass in Dottie's hand shattered, and the radio silenced.

"Dottie!" Wanda gasped, gazing at Dottie's bleeding hand in shock.

Wanda quickly took the woman's hand into her own as Y/N pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket.

"Pop quiz, Wanda," Dottie said as Y/N wrapped her hand. "How does a housewife get a bloodstain out white linen?" She asked. When neither woman gave her an answer, she answered her own question. "By doing it herself."

And with that, Dottie walked away.

"Wanda, what is going on?" Y/N demanded as Wanda glanced down at the radio. "What was that? Was that you? That couldn't have been you. Why was it calling me Agent Barton?" Y/N questioned her.

Wanda had never seen her wife really lose her cool in all their time together.

Y/N was always the level-headed one of the trio.

"Sweetheart," Wanda said, taking Y/N's face in her hands. At Wanda's touch, Y/N physically slacked in her grip. "You're exhausted," Wanda explained, running her thumb under Y/N's eye. "It's been a long day, and we didn't sleep last night. You need rest." 

"I need rest." Y/N agreed, nodding her head gently.

"We have time before the show to go home and take a nap." Wanda determined. "Maybe we can find something for your head at home or some tea? Does that sound okay?" 

"That sounds okay." Y/N nodded, smiling at her wife. "You know it's really your fault we didn't get any sleep last night." Y/N teased as she stood upright.

"Of course it was." Wanda smiled, wrapping her arm around Y/N's waist. "Let's get you home."

As the two began to walk away, Wanda couldn't stop herself from looking back and at the radio.

Just what was that?

Wanda and Y/N had gone home and taken an hour for themselves before they had to get ready for the show and bring their props down to the town square.

All of their neighbors had prepared an act. Everyone was performing.

Wanda, Y/N, and Vision were the last act on the agenda. The only problem with their performance was that they were missing a key component.

They were missing Vision.

"I'd hate to go after this guy." Geraldine giggled, staring at what was happening through the curtains while Wanda paced.

"What?" Wanda panicked. 

"Oh no, not like that. You guys are gonna be great." Geraldine assured. 

"Oh, what time is it now?" Wanda asked, beginning to pace again.

"Wanda, it's been two minutes," Y/N told the woman.

"I just don't know where he could be."

"Wanda, Vision will be here," Y/N promised, stopping her wife in her pacing by taking her hands. "He promised, and he'd never break a promise to us."

"Is that him?" Geraldine interrupted, pointing to a man stumbling up the stairs. 

Y/N and Wanda both turned to see their husband stumbling up the steps of the gazebo.

"It looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddyup," Geraldine commented, shaking her head.

"Vis?" Wanda asked, moving towards the man.

"Wanda! Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing!" Vision complimented before letting out a groan.

"What have you been doing?" Y/N asked, stepping next to Wanda.

"Not to worry, my little squash, me and the boys were just playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes." Vision said before shaking his head. "No, that's not right. Shoe horses. Horse's shoes!"

"Listen, something strange happened with Dottie," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's arms. "And before that. Something strange has been going on all day. It's hard to explain." Y/N told him.

"I was just playing with his shoes!" Vision yelled, pointing his finger at a man walking by in a horse costume.

Both Y/N and Wanda stared at their husband in confusion. He'd never acted like this before.

"What is going on?" Wanda asked a tad hysterically.

"You are!" Geraldine interrupted.

Wanda rushed to the curtains where Geraldine was peeking her head out to see Dottie giving a speech.

"I want to thank you all for coming out to support Westview Elementary, "For the Children." Dottie gushed.

"For the children." The crowd parroted back.

"The whole town's in this cult." Y/N shook her head.

"And for our final act, I give you Wanda, Y/N, and Vision," Dottie announced, politely clapping as she left the stage to sit with her husbands.

Wanda grabbed Y/N's hand and pulled the woman through the curtains.

The two smiled at the audience as they moved to their spot and, at the same time, gestured for Vision to exit.

Except Vision didn't exit. He completely missed his cue. 

"Hey! Hey you! You're up, Cowboy!" Geraldine snapped backstage at Vision.

"What?" Vision asked, struggling with a deck of cards. "Oh, shoot! I've got to go!"

Vision rushed towards the stage, and instead of exiting calmly, as they had planned, Vision burst through the curtains.

"Hello, Westview!" Vision exclaimed as Y/N and Wanda exchanged looks. "It's so lovely to be. I'm so sorry!" Vision apologized to a handrail he had bumped into. "Excuse me. I am Allure, and these are my delightful assistant's Illusion and Glamour."

"I am Glamour," Wanda interjected, raising a hand in a flourish.

"And I am Allure," Y/N added, copying Wanda's movements. "And this is the incredible,

"Illusion." The two introduced.

"Whatever they said." Vision nodded along. "Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled. But that's not your fault!" Vision told the audience. "It's because of human's limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe." He shrugged while his wife's once again stared at him questioningly. "Flourish!"

"You don't have to say it out loud, honey," Wanda muttered.

"You just do it. Like we practiced." Y/N added.

"Bah!" Vision waved off the advice. "And now, my wive's and I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces. Flourish!" He called before he was suddenly floating above the stage.

Wanda and Y/N froze at their husband's actions. And they weren't the only ones. 

Everyone in the audience saw what Vision was doing, and they all gasped at the sight of him floating.

What was he thinking?

Wanda's head snapped to the audience, and she noticed Dottie watching intently. 

Thinking quickly, Wanda pointed at Vision and conjured a wire for him to float from.

Y/N, noticing Wanda's actions, rushed across the stage and moved a poster board revealing the lever connected to the rope and pully.

"Ha! Do you see? He's using a rope!" Norm called from the audience.

"Wanda, what's, oh God! No! Y/N, stop her!" Vision yelled as Wanda began to pull Vision higher, to the audience's delight. "Darlings, let me down! I'm feeling pukey!"

After that line, Wanda finally lowered Vision to the ground as the audience clapped loudly.

"Thank you!" Vision smiled. "What's next? Oh, yeah, this is, this is gonna be great!" He said, moving over to the piano. "A staggering feat of strength!" He bragged, raising the piano with one hand.

The audience gasped and stared at the man in confusion.

"What do you think of that?" Vision asked the crowd.

"Illusion." Wanda gasped, struggling to think of how to fix this. "Illusion, Master of Engima, allow me." She said, wiggling her fingers subtly before rushing across the stage.

Wanda grabbed the piano out of Vision's hand, and it was replaced by a cardboard replica.

"Whoops!" Wanda gasped as she showed the audience the fake back. "You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick!" She teased, causing the audience to clap and giggle.

"That was my grandmother's piano," Jones said in the audience, watching as Wanda threw the piano to Y/N.

As the piano was removed from the stage, Vision turned his sights to the audience before excitedly exclaiming,

"Sherbert! This is my old mate Sherbert!" Vision yelled, moving towards the crowd. "Stand up, Sherbert! Say hello to the crowd!" He demanded, rushing beside the other man.

"It's Herbert. Herb." Herb clarified.

"Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card." Vision said, pushing the deck in Herb's direction. "Any card, now put it back in the deck." He ordered, turning his back to his neighbor. "I'm not looking. All right, watch this."

Vision halved the deck and pulled out the King of Diamonds, holding it smugly in front of Herb.

"Is this your card?"

"No." Herb shook his head.

"I beg to differ." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card towards Herb.

"It's not."

"Really?" Vision asked, cocking his head to the side. "Is this your card?" He questioned, pulling out another card.

"Vision," Y/N said from the stage, a fake smile on her face.

But Vision ignored her as he continued to pull cards from the deck.

"Is this your card? Is this your card? Is your card?" Vision kept repeating, showing cards and then throwing them to the side as Herb denied him.

"Sweetheart?" Wanda asked as cards flew everywhere.

"Is this your card?" Vision demanded, pulling out the King of Spades.

"Oh, it is," Herb said, surprised at it finally being pulled out.

"It is what?" Vision asked, staring at him in confusion. 

"It's my card." Herb smiled.

"Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card into the man's hands.

"No, that's not what I meant. You did the trick right." Herb told him as Vision stormed away.

"Well, of course, I did the trick right. I'm Illusion!" Vision exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Flourish!" He emitted, bowing deeply.

Wanda and Y/N quickly began to clap at Vision's trick', causing the audience to join.

"And now, for my next trick," Vision began to announce.

"He's still going?" Y/N whispered to her wife, who sighed.

"Where's my hat? Who stole my hat?" Vision asked, turning to see his hat on the stage floor, Senor Scratchy hopping out of it. "Oh! Stop that rabbit!" He called as Y/N, and Wanda chased after the rabbit. "I've got to pull a hat out of you!"

"Senor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think?" Agnes asked anyone who would listen as Wanda caught him.

"Maybe we leave the poor bunny out of this one, shall we?" Wanda questioned, stroking the rabbit's fur gently.

"That sounds swell," Y/N said, approaching Wanda with the cage.

"Well then, I will just have to pull this hat out of myself!" Vision determined, facing the audience with a grin.

"Vision no." Wanda gasped, staring at him pleadingly.

"I'm doing it."

"Don't you dare," Y/N said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ah-ha!" Vision cheered. Having ignored his wives pleading, Vision had gone ahead and pushed his hat through his torso.

The crowd didn't clap, and they didn't gasp. Everyone merely stared in confusion, not understanding what they just saw.

"If only we could tell you our secret." Y/N awkwardly smiled as Wanda wiggled her fingers.

The curtains opened behind the three, revealing a set of mirrors to the audience.

The assembled crowd let out sounds of recognition and began to clap, now understanding the trick.

"Is that how mirrors work?" Bev wondered a costume horse head on her lap.

"Shut up, Bev." Dottie scolded the other woman without even turning to look at her.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale." Vision announced as Wanda moved to get the cabinet while Y/N closed the curtains. "I bring you the Magnet of Crysteries!"

"The Cabinet of Mysteries," Wanda told the crowd, a slight snap in her tone.

Wanda was so fed up with how the day had gone that all she wanted was to get the show over with.

But she was so focused on her frustration that she never noticed, Y/N wasn't in the cabinet.

"I will now make my wife disappear!" Vision announced, opening the doors to show the crowd and shutting them before Wanda could enter.

"Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" Agnes called from the crowd.

The rest of the crowd, particularly the women, laughed at Agnes' joke.

"No. Abracadabra!" Vision cheered, tapping his wand on the cabinet door.

"Uh, Vision, sweetheart?" Wanda said from where she still stood.

"Yeah?"

"Hi." Wanda waved, causing Vision to freeze.

"Oh."

"Hiya, darlings," Y/N announced, now standing beside Vision.

"Oh." Both her partners said, now staring at her.

"What's in the box?" The crowd began to chant. "What's in the box? What's in the box?"

"What is in the box?" Vision asked, staring at his wives in confusion.

"What's in the box? What's in the box?"

Wanda pointed at the cabinet, and when she and Vision opened the doors, there stood Geraldine.

The audience all gasped at the woman's appearance before beginning to clap wildly.

"Let's bounce," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's hand and dragging him off stage with Wanda following behind.

Once away from the crowd, Vision immediately began to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid." Vision cried.

"Vis, it is all right," Wanda assured, putting her hands on Vision's chest.

"Vision, it's okay, everything is fine. You're not stupid." Y/N added, taking his hand in one of hers.

"But what is going on with you?" Wanda demanded of him.

"I have no idea!" Vision cried. "I've been feeling weirdy all day!"

"It's okay. We can solve this," Y/N told him soothingly.

Wanda stepped back and raised her hand towards him. She began to scan through Vision's systems and stopped in the middle of his torso. 

Vision let out a groan at the sensation as Wanda's eyes widened.

Wanda worked her magic and forced the gum out of Vision's systems.

The gum forced itself up Vision's throat and out of his mouth.

"Disgusting," Y/N said, cringing at the scene.

"Well, would you look at that? That really gummed up the works, didn't it?" Vision joked, the gum that had caused so many problems between his fingers. "I'm not as funny without it, am I?" He asked when neither of his wives responded.

"Oh, honey, no," Y/N said, squeezing his hand. "You weren't funny with it either." She teased.

"Well, you're back to yourself." Wanda sighed, relieved.

"And that's all we really need," Y/N promised, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Now, let's get out of here before Dottie, and the planning committee, string us up for ruining the show," Wanda said to the two.

"Don't joke. The cult might actually do that." Y/N commented.

"I'm sorry, what cult?" Vision asked, looking quite concerned.

"I'll explain later," Y/N promised as the three reached the edge of the curtains.

The three tried to inconspicuously sneak away from the show but were stopped with a cry.

"You three, stop right there!"

"Oh, we're dead." Y/N cringed as the three began to turn around with grimaces adorning their faces. 

"Nothing, like what the three of you just did up there, has ever happened in the history of our talent show," Dottie told the three.

"Dottie, we are so,"

"Hilarious." Dottie cut Wanda off. "That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. Wouldn't you agree?" Dottie asked the crowd, who applauded in agreeance.

Wanda let out a relieved chuckle while Y/N grinned victoriously.

"Oh, yes, of course!" Vision exclaimed, playing along as if everything that had just happened was intentional.

"You three, come on up. Come on." Dottie ordered. 

The married three all looked at one another before agreeing it was safe to move on stage.

"On behalf of the planning committee, I would like to award you with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the year," Dottie announced, handing Wanda the trophy.

The audience rose to their feet and began to cheer for the three.

Wanda, Y/N, and Vision all giddily grinned as Wanda raised the trophy, and they indulged in their moment.

Wanda heard clapping from the stage side and turned her head to see Geraldine clapping happily.

Y/N, noticing where Wanda was looking, also turned to Geraldine and began to gesture her over.

"Come on." Wanda mouthed as the other woman hesitated.

With a bit more encouraging, and Vision pulling her over, Geraldine finally moved to stand with the three, a smile on her face.

"I do have to ask," Geraldine whispered, turning her head to Vision. "One second I'm backstage, and the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole." She said as the four bowed. "How'd you do it?"

"Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets." Vision said sagely. "He leaves that to his assistants.

"And she's not talking," Y/N told the curious woman.

"Nope. Neither of them are." Wanda added with a sly smile.

"Why did I have a feeling you'd say that?" Geraldine asked with a giggle.

"For the children!" Norm called from the crowd.

"For the children!" The rest of the crowd repeated.

"It's still culty," Y/N whispered in her wife's ear.

The three were in a joyful mood as they walked home. Despite the show not going the way they had wanted it to, everything had turned out okay.

They had fit in with their neighbors, entertained their friends, and no-one was any the wiser about their secrets.

"When did you learn to salsa dance?" Wanda laughed, watching as Y/N and Vision danced down the street.

"I don't remember when I learned to, I just know it was at night, and I read many books on the subject." Vision said as he twirled Y/N out.

"Of course you." Y/N laughed before she took over the dominant role and began to lead. She then spun Vision towards Wanda.

The three continued to dance into their home, their costumes and other items balanced in skilled hands.

"You were tremendous, Glamour." Vision complimented, opening the door as Wanda dramatically fell into his arms.

"As were you, Illusion," Wanda said, grinning up at the man.

"Despite the circumstances." Y/N smiled, entering behind the two. Wanda had moved out of Vision's arms to put the trophy away, allowing Vision to wrap both arms around Y/N's waist.

"Why, thank you, Allure." Vision said, smiling down at his wife. Y/N returned the smile before leaning up to kiss the man.

"I don't know what I was so worried about." Wanda sighed, taking her seat on the couch. "It wasn't so hard to fit in at all." 

"And all we had to do was be ourselves." Vision agreed, sitting to her right.

"At least the public version," Y/N smirked, sitting on Wanda's other side.

"And it was all for the children."

"For the children."

"For the children."

"Well, I think the children might need some popcorn," Wanda commented.

"And some coffee," Y/N added as she and Wanda rose to their feet.

"Wanda. Y/N." Vision said, stopping the two of them in their tracks.

"Hmm, what?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" 

As Vision rose from the couch, his gaze remained focused on their stomachs, causing the two to finally look down.

"Oh shoot." Y/N gasped, noting hers and Wanda's matching bellies. 

"Is this really happening?" Wanda asked, a hand on her engorged stomach and her other on Y/N's.

"Yes, my love." Vision smiled, leaning down to kiss Wanda gently as if she would break if he applied too much pressure.

"We're gonna have a family." Y/N smiled, pressing her fingertips onto Wanda's stomach as her husband and wife pulled apart.

"We are, my dove." Vision nodded, grin still attached to his face, before leaning down and kissing Y/N with the same gentleness.

"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.

As Wanda kissed Y/N, there was a loud banging outside, causing the three to jump.

"If that's that damn tree again, I'm going to rip it out by the roots." Vision snapped, storming towards the door.

"Don't touch my tree, Vis!" Y/N exclaimed as she and Wanda followed after Vision.

"I don't see anything," Wanda said as the three searched the yard for the noise.

"What is that?" Vision asked, standing at the gate. Y/N and Wanda moved to see what he was looking at and saw a storm drain cover moving.

As something began to climb out, Vision moved forward and wrapped his arms around his wives protectively.

A man in a beekeeper's costume emerged, a swarm of bees surrounding him.

"No," Wanda whispered as the man's head snapped towards the three.

"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.

When the two pulled apart, it was as if their world was suddenly all the more vibrant. 

Their home was bright, and the three were glowing. 

"Everything's changing," Y/N said, looking at her partners with a grin.

"It is." Vision agreed, pulling the two women into his embrace.

"All for the better," Wanda told the two.

And it was. 

Taglist will be open throughout the series.  

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[blackberry-gingham]

This was kinda inspired by the previous anons request but could you write headcannons/imagines (whichever you think fits best) about being an actress and meeting their lad on the set of one of their movies/a movie

(Ok ik I have other requests waiting looong behind this one, but it's going to bug me if I don't do this first, so I'll post my next chronological request tomorrow instead of my usual every other dayish schedule! Thanks guys ❤️)

Honestly, the absolute MOOD™ of this gif has been on my mind for like all of the following imagines. Like the on periodt FLAVOR that actress is rocking, all done up and everything ?? John or [insert one of the other three] ob-sessed with you ?? Literally yes. So yeah, there's my overview lol, the rest is up to your imagination!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! 😌

George

You meet George on your way to grab a little refreshment before your scene in between takes

You've got a nice little flute of wine, to calm the nerves of course, when suddenly you get bumped rather harshly from behind!

Luckily your drink spilled on the floor and not your nice costume, but still, you're about to give whomever it is a piece of your mind!!

You turn on a dime and come face to face with... Oh

There, only inches away, stands the George Harrison, with a mouthful of food, a wrapped up snack for later, and eyes wide as saucers

It's a race to see who can apologise first

While you over come your shock at nearly cursing out one of the stars of the show, he hurriedly chews and swallows the last of his snack

"I'm so sor-" "-eg your pardon!"

You overlap each other with your apologies, causing a similar scenario again as you both accept the other's apology

The two of you chuckle a bit at that

At this point, George feels like he's just now getting a good look at you

He wonders if you're a recent hire, bc otherwise he certainly would've noticed the most beautiful woman in the building before now

Suddenly a touch self conscious, he wipes the crumbs from the corners of his mouth and scrambles for a way to make small talk

It's not really his forte, you see

Luckily, you come in to save him

You cock your head to look at his napkin of snacks

"What have you got there?"

"Oh these? N-nothing, just some scones or something like that"

He crosses his arms behind his back, like he's embarrassed to be caught smuggling snacks

"Oh! Have you tried the cream cheese and raspberry ones? They're to die for!"

George loosens up a bit. He wouldn't have guessed you were something of a food fan too...

He brings around his napkin of goodies and unwraps it a bit for you to see

"I have actually, would you like one?"

You thank him and take one, savouring the flavor while he pops another into his mouth as well

"See, quite good! Although, I'd dare say mine are better"

You laugh, but George simply stares

"You bake?" He says through a mouthful of scone, eyes alight

Of course you confirm that you do indeed, and your cooking is fantastic too, thank you very much!

The two of you talk about some of your favorite treats to make and from there... Well, George is pretty sure he's met his soul mate

John

Now when you meet John, I think you approach him!

He's backstage taking a smoke

You'd think he's just having a quick break to relax before filming starts, but the way he's looking around, shifting his weight, and fiddling with his outfit says it all

Classic stage fright

You remember those days, but as a seasoned, successful actress, you've learned a few tips and tricks you think might help!

For one thing, getting to know more then just your co-stars is a bit of a relief

Plus, I mean... It's John Lennon! And have I mentioned you're a bit of a fan?

So you approach, completely unfazed, and poor old Lennon does a double take

Out of gentlemanly habit, he immediately puts out his dart when he sees you coming

You come right up and introduce yourself with a "how do you do"

Now at this point, normally he'd respond with a witty but dirty pick up line, but...

He can't tell if he's just not in the mood from his nerves or what, but he just can't bring himself to do it

Or maybe... Maybe there's just something about you?

It's not every day such a fetching woman approaches him without screaming her head off and begging for an autograph in the process

Besides, there's just this air of confidence about you that puts him at ease

You make it look so effortless too!

He wishes he could be like that...

John nods respectfully with a quiet "just fine thanks"

He doesn't bother to introduce himself, he simply assumes everyone here knows who he is

You tilt your head and smile invitingly

"Are you sure? Excuse me for saying so, but you seem a bit nervous"

Well, regarding the filming coming up, he was a bit, but standing here, talking with you?

He certainly is now!

"It's fine, just thinking about my lines and such"

You can tell he's lying, but you let the matter go to switch up tactics

"Well I'm sure you'll be just fine out ther- Oh? Hold on..."

You casually saunter up to him as though you've known him for years to straighten his tie and smooth down his lapels

Despite your boldness, John puts up no resistance. In fact, he finds he rather enjoys your touch

He's so use to a more... different sort of touch when it comes to women, to the point that he's nearly forgotten just how fulfilling soft and gentle contact like this can be

Forgetting himself, John leans into your palms a bit as you finish petting them across the chest of his suit

You definitely notice, but decide to have mercy and say nothing about it

"Just remember, if you need a little stage advice out there, I'll be around"

You wink at him and walk off to your dressing room

John waits a moment until your out of sight, weighing what just happened in his mind

You know what?

He smiles to himself and jogs after you

Maybe he does want some advice...

Paul

Now Paul I think is the one guy of the four to seek you out!

You're relaxing in your dressing room adding just a few small touch ups to your lipstick and so on until you're on

When the gentle knock comes to your door, you assume it's your assistant come to fetch you

You check the time and then hurry over to answer the door

"Yes yes, I-"

Paul is standing with his hands clasped behind his back, a respectful distance from your door

When he'd heard you were the leading lady of this film, he knew he simply had to see you in person

He's a bit of a fan himself you see, and he can tell you right now, the camera doesn't do you half justice

Paul's mouth forms a little "O" as he looks you up and down so quick, it's almost subtle

Not at all impressed, you look at him expectantly, but try to hold back any attitude

"Can I help you, Mr. McCartney?"

He snaps out of his daydream and at last looks at you with the respect you deserve

"Oh, my apologies love, I just wanted to greet my co-star!"

Paul gingerly takes your hand and kisses your knuckles

Alright, maybe you're a little impressed

"I've heard so much about you, I couldn't believe it when they told me you were going to be a part of our little film"

He laughs, and then clears his throat awkwardly

"Sorry, I guess I'm just something of a fan"

You're a bit taken aback to see Paul, the ladies man himself, McCartney acting flustered, but what a compliment for one of the Beatles to be a fan of you

Needless to say, you're nice about his being awkward and hang around for a little conversation

He tells you about all the movies he's seen you in and how wonderful a job he thought you did

You're really enjoying the moment, after all, what a rare one it is! Until your assistant comes to fetch you and Paul for filming

"Oh yes, we'll be right along!"

Paul calls after your assistant and more or less shoos them away

Once you two are alone again, Paul fidgets a moment fishing around in his pockets

"Now I know you get this a lot-"

He pulls out a newspaper article and a pen, then holds them out to you

Upon closer inspection, it's the headline from when you were recognized for your first acting award

"But could I please get your autograph?"

Then he leans in and whispers, "and please don't tell the lads..."

You laugh and assure him his secret is safe as you sign your name in flowing script before handing him his prize

Paul looks like a child in a candy shop, he's so excited

You smile sweetly and begin heading towards the filming site

Before you know it Paul trots up beside you, following close

He looks from you to his newspaper clipping once and then twice before his eyes linger on you

"You know, I have a record from one of your plays back at the hotel... Could you-?"

At first you shoot him a look, but the puppy eyes he's giving you assures you he means no funny business, so you promise him ❤️

Ringo

You meet Ringo backstage in between sets, right before your scene

And when I tell you the first time Ringo sees you, he immediately knows he would die for you...

!!! RINGO. IS. STAR STRUCK !!!

You're already gorgeous as is, so when his first time seeing you is all done up with your hair, outfit, and makeup for the movie he's just BLOWN AWAY

And as he should be 💅🏻

There's still a decent bit of time before he needs to take his place or anything like that, which is good bc his brain is in a whole other dimension rn

You're absolutely magnetic and all he can think to do is approach

"Oh, hello Mr. Starr! Can I help you?"

"hi"

You blink at him for a moment, not quite sure what's happening

But when it hits you, you quickly cover your mouth with a gloved hand, trying your very best not to laugh at the poor guy

Ringo however, is completely under your spell at the moment

"I uuuuh, I'm Ringo"

His big droopy eyes are absolutely transfixed in a dreamlike haze on your beautiful face, and he offers you his hand to shake

Now you're REALLY trying not to laugh

You give his hand a shake, brushing off any awkward feelings, and introduce yourself

Ringo repeats your name aloud, looking now as though he's been transported into a dream

That's your name? He loves that name! How did you know!

After a moment of awkward silence while you let him process, he thankfully seems to return to reality

"Ahem, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you"

He looks away quickly, now starting to realize he's made himself out to be quite the fool

"Well I feel rather silly, uh"

He scratches his neck and sneaks a glance up at you

Thankfully, you're very understanding! You have a lot of fans, and his behavior isn't quite unheard of in your experience

"Oh, no no! It's no trouble at all!"

You give a genuine laugh and tell him you're always glad to meet a fan

Ringo responds with a little humor to relieve any last traces of tension or awkwardness and then laughs his deep, goofy laugh

You contemplate what a strange but wonderful sound it is

And you know? wouldn't mind sticking around to hear it again...

Besides, he's clearly already very interested in you

That, and it's nice to meet a gentle soul amongst your fan base, rather then the clamoring men and women you're used to

Ringo smiles at you with pure admiration, before picking up some easy small talk with you, just as though you're anyone else

It's at that moment you officially fall for him

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 13.1)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER. 

UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8)

CHAPTER 13

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Geralt could feel what you also feel and he was cursing the Djinn for making you both feel this way because it was a feeling that was certainly irresistible for one man to ever control. You were in heat, and it doesn’t seem to be such a good idea for the witcher to try and resist. 

Warnings: This is just a filler chapter for the smut in the next chapter. Ahonhonhon! Kind of Jealous Geralt too? Lowkey? Hehehehe. A cute bard and Cirilla having the period-syndrome (I’m having it too rn and I’m thirsty for Geralt or any of Henry’s character. DAMN IT) I’ve given a name to the Djinn they’ve found because I’ve tried searching but found no name for every Djinn they find in the witcher? I think? Reader being so needy and in heat. (The animal type of heat for reasons..) Also, reader is...a virgin. 

Words: 4.5k

A/N: You probably want to strangle me so hard right now, bb’s. I’m in the phase of a writer where I’m procrastinating stuff but not exactly a writer’s block. Just want to do things besides writing all day or I’m prolly just sleepy with no damn reason since last week. 😅😒 

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue! 

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren’t from moi as well. GIF’s INCLUDED ARE CREDITED TO THOSE WHO MADE THEM! I DO NOT OWN THEM!

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

"Well, you're in a greater bad mood right now, rat." Jaskier frankly stated, wiping his lute with a cloth.

The night was serene with your heart strings balled up in a yarn. Your emotions consisting of woe with a face as if you lost a shit ton of money. You sat together with Jaskier in the middle of the vast leigh, knees touching against each other as the bard quietly sat with you in silence.

A bright purple evenfall draws nigh along the sky, stars finally becoming visible as you admired how beautiful their skies were. Less pollution and more aesthetic, though a lot more eccentricity happening around more than earth.

You've exhaled one last sigh, mouth in a tight frown as you took notice of the moon that was in replete. A perfect shape of a circle as it shines bright.

"Is the witcher being an imbecile again?" the bard ceased his cleaning, giving you his sole attention as he watched your face contort in utmost upset. But, you chose to just let the sorrow go for a moment, admiring the stars and skies like it wasn't laughing back at you from how delusional you were for having strong feelings for the witcher, "Don't start, Jaskier."

"Your cantankerous attitude shown in your cherubic face tells me that you are gradually adapting Geralt's crabbiness because you accepted the position in being his lover---," Jaskier has managed to bluntly say, carefully placing his lute on the grass as he narrowed his eyes at you, "---Though, it does seem like a sacrifice, small rat. Your kindness shall be missed. I would like to see you try and let Geralt adapt to your naivity and sweetness. The vision is pretty hilarious, if you ask me!"

Your frown even grew tighter when he mentioned the word 'lover', shoulders falling from how dismayed you were from hearing it.

"I'm not his lover."

The bard couldn't help but raise a skeptical brow back at you, remembering what he saw last night. He knew he wasn't hallucinating nor daydreaming, "Oh, so kissing under the moonlight is considered as a friendly gesture in my era now? If so, then this means you wouldn't mind kissing me too!"

He puckered his lips, making smooching sounds as slowly tried to teasingly close the gap between you both as Jaskier pouted to act as if he was about to give you a kiss on the cheek when you've yelped and immediately had your palms over his mouth, gently pushing his face away from you, "Jaskier! What are you even---?!"

He comfortably sat back down and had his knee over his chest prior to the position he had now, which was in criss-cross as he playfully shrugged. His pretty baby blues looking at the darkening sky, "A shame. I've been told by countable lads and lasses that I do kiss like I take their breath away,"

You tutted at that, shaking your head from his teasing and tried to send a hostile sally, "You suck then. Do you want them dying because of lack of breath?"

Your animosity has been curved by the bard. He seemed like he was acting like he didn't hear you as he let his eyes flicker to you again; going on with his jests, "Thank you by the way. I've been sleeping much soundly since the couple of days and you seemed to be having such wonderful dreams every night,"

Bawdy indications were hinted in between Jaskier's words; making you give him a glare that obviously made him grin like he won the lottery; thinking that your previous rendezvous back in Geralt's room when he wasn't around had some provocative explanations.

He didn't know your symbol was hurting a lot more on those nights where Geralt wasn't around.

You brush off his ribald comment, "I didn't do it for you,"

"I thought you were actually asking for forgiveness by calling me a horse's arse minutes ago? You're knowing the blasphemy of our language but totally naive of every monsters and places we have here. It doesn't seem to be such a thing to be proud of,"

Jaskier continued his blathers without even letting you talk, freely letting you give him death glares because he seemed to be more mouthy as days go by. You turn a deaf ear to exhale an exasperated breath, "I'm taking it back. You're still annoying as heck," before unabashedly laying your head down on his lap.

His yakking has been brought to a halt when he'd felt your head fall on his lap, the bard suddenly uttering quizzical gibbers that you continued to ignore as you felt the bracing wind hit your body; appreciating the eventide in quietude.

"Alright, alright! I'm not complaining...Ughm," Jaskier cleared his throat, anxiously scratching his head as he tried his best not to look at you.

The fullness of the moon has been drawing you in again. In a tranquil night, it was as if the stars began to whisper sweet nothings, lately realizing that their soft whispers has actually been your wishes; albeit, you've broken them down together, your whims willing and having no desire for you to actually come back in earth.

With only one thing in your mind, it was to stay with Geralt and his family.

But, do you really mean it? If you would choose earth or their dimension, were you serious that you wanted to stay?

Though, for him; you weren't that sure if he also wanted the same thing. If Geralt wasn't around, you were probably already dead, have been sold by noblemen or eaten by their monsters.

But, the stars seemed to jump out of the sky when you've heard a loud thundercrack of a door that came from the inside of their house, snapping the bard quiet as the noise tugged you out of your happy place; a place that you hoped Geralt came with.

The night has went slower, time ticking a lot more deliberately when one person is probably upset with another. Especially, when the person you were upset with lived in the same house as you and even was the owner of the bed you sleep on.

You were beginning to feel rickety as seconds pass by while Jaskier tried worming out whatever he had asked to Cirilla whom was feeding Kolby with a basket full of obsolete bread.

"Tell me why the back door is now broken off its hinges?" he asked in incredulity, hands on his hips as he had seen the brown, wooden door hanging with all its life, trying hard not to fall.

Hence, as they continued their talk; you couldn't help but massage that aching part of your chest, the one where the symbol laid upon the valley of your breasts as you heavily breathed.

It was attacking again.

The weight and fiery phantom of fingers grasping your heart more severe rather than the nights you had it felt like a rabid monster wanted to come out of cage. Their cold weather suddenly all swelter; as if you were walking on burnt out coals with one person clouding your mind.

Geralt.

You needed him, wanted him and yearned for his presence.

Cirilla gave a blatant shrug of her shoulders; sounding completely phlegmatic as she answered, "I don't know, bard. I didn't scream if that will make you any less more worried,"

Jaskier had his eyebrows furrowed as he keenly pondered as to why their door was broken all of a sudden, "Has there been a beast?" his slim, calloused fingers moved restlessly; dwelling onto what has raided their own home. The bard looked anywhere, continuing to be in distress while Cirilla patted the Hirikka's head with utmost care as she watched him devour everything in the basket, "You mean, Geralt?" she gave Jaskier a once over before turning back to look at Kolby, thoroughly undisturbed that it was the witcher's doing, "---He went out for a second and then came back, breaking the door off its hinges. But, he promised to fix it,"

Jaskier's head veered to where she was crouched in the middle of the living room, his baby blue eyes full of concern as he opened his mouth to tell all his inquiries but was instantly shut closed when he'd seen you hunched in his peripheral vision, palms on your knees as you were breathing like you were being chased by another Alghoul.

The latter took heed of those sweat drops falling on the side of your face as you were heaving deep breaths. Your head was darkening in assailing images of those familiar amber eyes you've grown to be thoroughly fond of; longing to be consumed by those glowing golden aureate.

You've heard someone walking closer to where you stood, seeing Jaskier crouch to give you a scrutiny of his baby blues. Bright azures. You didn't yearn for that. All you wanted was golden. His golden and you couldn't help but whimper, your chest has giving you agony as if you were being pricked in the heart by small needles, "You're sweating like a rabid---rat, are you alright?"

Another deep inhale of your breath; you breathlessly muttered, "I am Jaskier---It's just---" nevertheless, those train of thoughts couldn't be completed by the excruciating pain that ignited a troubled mewl. You straightened your back, making Jaskier stand up as well to scan your face for any signs as to what was happening to you, but only had seen your face painfully contorted in a way that tells him you were in agony.

"It's hot. Too hot," pause. You swallowed the tight knot of confining sensations wanting to be let out, "---Abnormally hot. Hot in two different ways; like I wanna be impaled or something!"

At your most forthright honesty, your statement has made the bard blink rapidly from how blunt it sounded, being taken aback by how outspoken you suddenly become; a thorough change of your bashful self, "You're actually revealing lewd facts that should be kept to yourself. You are certainly not alright!"

You could feel yourself grow hotter, the heat being scorching and aching at the same time. Your legs began to weaken and you can't help but fold like a paper, squat down and the position was utmost impuissant; totally vulnerable with your palms on your ears as you tried to shut down the restless whispering that went on and on; ceaseless as you had no power over it.

Jaskier began to panic; his face brimful of dread, "----GERALT? WE HAVE A PROBLEM DOWN HERE!"

The soughing of breathless whispers were relentless, no matter how you tried to cover your ears; they just keep coming. It was incessant, never ending despite of how they were giving your chest a pain that seem to be unyielding as they went on and on.

Witcher. You wanted the witcher. You needed him, you longed for him.

"Stop saying the word witcher, Jaskier!" you abruptly scolded, sounding too jarring and ear-piercing; void of kindness as you could feel the aggravation going to your head with the additional non-stop rustle of voices. The bard eyed you skeptically as he added, finding your rebuke rather surprising and odd because he never said anything about it, "I wasn't even uttering a word!"

Warm, slender fingers fell on your shoulders; trying his best to comfort you while the witcher wasn't coming down from his chambers yet. Nevertheless, from the moment he'd touch you, the toubadour has received a harsh slap of his hand being pushed away.

"Jaskier!" you harshly spat, your nose scrunched from how discomforting you were feeling.

He was quick to haul his arms up in surrender, stepping a foot away as he looked at you in horror, "Alright---I'm not touching you then!"

Another strained bleat left your lips as you were now fully sat on the floor, holding your chest as you continued to heave, shaking your head from the perpetual torment that tries its best to scream blandishments that sounded abridged. Some were incomprehensible and other words sounded lucid.

Destiny has it's price. It sounded just like a rustle of the winds as the shushed voices continued its onslaught. Two souls, together as one. Bound for eternal rest or a life forever. Zephyr shall protect. You cannot outrun death.

Your whimpers started to gradually increase, mewling in the process when you've exhaled a sigh as the needles seem to turn bigger, "It hurts, I swear it really hurts!" you screeched, body feeling like you were dropped in hot, molten lava as you were hearing foot steps treading in haste, "Geralt's coming, don't worry, rat."

Kolby prowled to where you sat; eternal mewls never ceasing as sexual, pent-up aggression was starting to travel to your head, but you tried to fight them off. Though, it ignited more pain as you struggled. Cirilla suddenly snapped her head to where you were, a tight lipped frown etching her face as she jogged to where you sat.

"Is she okay?" the pretty child asked in worry, watching you battle with something they couldn't see nor feel. Jaskier raised a brow; looking sardonic as he acknowledged, "No, she certainly isn't, Princess Cirilla."

She gave him a lour as she snarled; her riposte sounding a lot like the witcher because of how harsh it sounded, "I'm not in the mood for your sarcastic nonsense, bard."

Jaskier was unfazed as he took her retort like it was nothing, "Ooooh, is this how period--is it called period---does to a lassie?"

They're retaliations had them unaware of Geralt's presence who came marching down the stairs with an unfathomable expression on his face; the trepidation never seen in his features as it was emotionless, never giving anybody the panic that Jaskier, Cirilla and Kolby has been feeling when you've suddenly began bawling your eyes out from the thumping pain.

The witcher hurriedly crouched before you, his glowing amber eyes thoroughly scanning your features if there was anything weird happening; but to his discontent, Geralt noticed none.

He felt everything. Your frustration, pent-up aggression; venereal desires or not, the twinge of scorching ache that can't be relieved due to constraints given from the latter himself when he'd chose jurisdiction over his carnal wishes that you also wished.

But, he'd been bull-headed for his reasons; Geralt was not bargained for the repercussions held because of having no permanent proof that you were also suffering every night.

Just like him. Hence, the both of you needed relief. Corporeal appetites released for the betterment of both.

"She's in heat," Geralt rasped, trying to hear what you've been begging for and he sensed that you were hearing voices that continues to assault you, paining your chest as you were unaware of his presence that loom before you.

"What? Oh, Geralt! Cease the utter balderdash!" Jaskier exclaimed, eyeing the witcher who squat down in front of you.

Geralt's amber eyes has been searching for yours, but you've never let him see as you continued your hushed begging. He had his chiseled jaw clenched so tight, every breath he takes was also giving his chest a potent congesting pain that he can somehow resist. His medallion was vibrating wildly, alarming him that there was magic surrounding him.

Therefore, he knew the pain wasn't just one to disregard because he knew your pain has explanations that is needed to foresee.

Was the Djinn still in there? Keeping you as a host?

No. Impossible. The witcher thought at the back of his head because there were times that his medallion doesn't vibrate whenever he's around you, it only happened now and back then when you were possessed.

It was impossible that the Djinn was keeping you as its master as well. You could die if that ever happened. The seal was gone and never found back in the swamps, meaning to say it was already gone; broke free from its confinement because you already had three of your wishes.

Jaskier couldn't help but notice how clean and fixed Geralt's hair was. Hence, he'd started to acknowledge the aesthetic difference he claimed, "Also, did you just braid your majestic chalky white hair all by yourself?! Or did you do it, Princess Cirilla?" he bargained, utterly stunned from Geralt and his hair being braided, dubiously eyeing the lion cub of Cintra.

But, she only gave a nonchalant negation, "No."

"Oh, the rat did! She did a great job at making you look so feminine tonight, Geralt!"

Geralt paid no heed to Jaskier's teasing compliments, wanting nothing but to roll his eyes but ceased to do so as your fingers began to shake, his mind now in a perturbed fret as his gaze shifted anywhere to see what was causing your whole situation because he sees nothing. A tight furrow of his eyebrows tightly creased his forehead, "---The Djinn has given her effects for whatever the symbol does to her, bard."

Jaskier crouched beside where Geralt is, receiving a truculent glare that made the bard move away for an inch because his bellicose aura was radiating off him too much, "Symbol? What symbol?"

"I'm not showing you her chest." he bluntly chided as a low growl vibrated through his chest, giving Jaskier a hostile look in his glowing peepers.

The toubadour did a double-take, his mouth turning into an offended 'O' as he held a palm on top of his chest as he gestured to your squatted form, "I wasn't even asking you if I could see her breasts!"

"Then, shut up and stop asking."

Jaskier huffed, sulking beside the witcher because of how he'd suddenly become such a grump.  

You've muttered a soft mewl, tightly closing your ears with your palms as you suddenly talked out loud, "I need Geralt. Where's Geralt?!" it was the only name you could hear, echoing inside your head as the heat traveled through your veins, searing and extremely scorching all of a sudden.

Your heartbeat was loudly drumming out of your chest. Sweat dripping down your face as the pain and heat was starting to make you feel lightheaded, his scent crashing through your senses. Earthy, pinewood and a mix of mannishness.

Geralt.

"Don't touch me!" It felt like you were burning; but also finding some aid to the ache as it soothed your heated skin like ice to the fire. You've felt his thick, rough fingers fall on your shoulder, making you jerk back as you looked at him; completely mortified for a second, "I'm here, midget." before the witcher tightened his hold on you, those fingers clasping around your feeble arm as he gazed upon you in deep concern.

"It's alright. Calm down, it's me." Geralt gently hushed your frantic state, softly grabbing the side of your jaw to make you look at him.

When he did, your eyes were dark and dilated, filled with carnal.

"You're having a hot spell," he roughly forced the words out of him, heavily swallowing whatever you were feeling because he's also having the same problems, but chose to restrain himself; doing a better job than any most men would, "A--A literal spell?" you didn't catch his drift and feel yourself breathing deep, his scent soothing your nerves as it also does the same for him.

Geralt shook his head, his fingers strapped on the side of your neck making his hand feel the pleasuring jolt. You've felt his fingers slightly tremble as your eyes were beseeching, those dilated pupils of yours tormenting him, "No. You're in heat, midget." pause. he lowly growled in displeasure, amber eyes pooling in keen, "---which explains your cravings for touches and the need for coition,"

Your face scrunched in pain and a mixture of pent-up frustration, the voices inside your head slowly dying down as it was now drowning in the witcher's unique, baritone timbre of his that was making you feel giddy before a jolt of pain rose up your chest again, "What am I---an animal?! Geralt, make it stop!"

Jaskier and Cirilla listened in silence. However, the bard fidgeted with the hem of his tunic; his mindless frets seeming to come up with such suggestions that will make everyone's mind boggle.

He raised a hand, not before taking a good look at you who had eyes pure of anguish and need which now focused at Geralt before he'd loudly cleared his throat, turning his head to see the witcher in distress from what other methods he could think of other than the impaling,  "I have a proposal and an utterly brilliant idea to make the pain stop!"

Cirilla hushedly snorted, "His ideas are always nonsense. Don't listen to him, Geralt."

Jaskier placed his hands on his hips, pointing a finger at the princess, mouth opening before he was immediately ceased by Geralt himself.

"The princess is right, bard."

The sonneeter noted his lukewarm response, sounding like he actually opposes what Cirilla has reprimanded because all Geralt ever wanted and what clouds his mind is having his way with you, "---Give the small rat what she wants, Witcher. What if the pain carries on as nights go by? Give her the rumpy pumpy since that is always the answer to why an animal is in heat. It wants coitus, or if you've become one soft, romantic witcher; then I suggest to use the word, 'make love'." he emphasized, quoting the word 'make love' with both hands, his middle finger and index one folding as he said the last word with ardor.

Geralt was quick to scowl at that, exhaling an exasperated breath out of his nose as he hummed in protest; giving the bard his meanest glare, "You're saying she's an animal. You want me to take advantage of it?"

"No?" Jaskier quickly shook his head, groaning out; palms faintly hitting his forehead as he tried to act as if he was slapping it from Geralt's unreasonable assumptions. He continued, languidly blinking back at the frowning witcher, "---I didn't even say you would take advantage of the idea, you nincompoop! Then, do you want me to mate with her?"

It took him a second before he'd seen the latter started giving blazing daggers that had fire in it, his words seething as Geralt gruffly barked, "Absolutely not, bard!"

His glowing, amber eyes were boring holes at Jaskier before he lowly rumbled; more so to himself, trying to convince himself that there was another way.

He was dithering the idea of having you; not because he didn't find you pleasant, fetching, alluring or beautiful. Geralt found you in many types of wonderful adjectives he could tell, though mostly was kept inside his mind. The idea of having you, only to himself; ravishing you in ways that he ought to please kept him faltering because of one thing in his mind.

Vulnerability.

The witcher was thoroughly cautious of vulnerability because whenever it happens; once the walls have been broken down, there was always hindrance coming in his way and with the person he'd promised were important, or a person he loved because he knew that once he has you, Geralt was done for no matter how unstable he was.

You'll be seeing things you've never seen nor felt from him as he does the same way.

Especially, that you never came from their dimension and that the feelings he had for you was too strong to even control. But, the voices at the back of his mind was pulling him away from even pouring those emotions down because firstly, he didn't know how to show and second, there was a huge chance that you would also leave.

What if you leave? a person he'd treasured so much begins to leave him again?

Geralt mindlessly gritted his teeth together as he grumbled and grouched, avoiding the bard's eyes as he watched you shakily grab onto his palms that tenderly rested on the side of your face; leaning onto his touch as you looked at him; utterly lovestruck, "We'll find another way," pause. "---There has to be."

Though, it seems like the bard hasn't heard his beseeching and continued with his witful suggestions, "The only way is to impale her to cease the sufferings that the spell has cast upon her by the Djinn," Jaskier promptly stood up on his feet, his anxiety making him blurt out mindless blabbers he could ever think of, "---There is nothing to lose on this one, Geralt. Especially that you're...no offense---"

Geralt cut him off in haste, surly spitting out his words, "There is, Jaskier. Her purity."

Jaskier pointed back at the witcher, completely looking taken aback as he opened his mouth like he was stunned, "Oh." was the only thing he managed to say for the first few seconds before he quietly muttered, "OooooOh. She's a?"

The Ivory haired man gave a brief nod, "Untouched." he frankly informed as Cirilla quietly listened in the background with Kolby howling loudly in the middle of the night like a wolf in disguise, "---Oh! This is an unorthodox for the series of women that you have had, Geralt! Also, she's a rare one indeed!"

Jaskier couldn't help but feel dumbstruck from his suggestions, shamefully scratching the back of his nape as he has given the whole responsibility to Geralt because he could never help. He always never does because of some sorts that he couldn't explain, probably because he wasn't taught with these magical phenomena that Geralt expertly knows.

When the witcher has given you his attention, you've abruptly attacked him in a bear hug, arms tightly wrapped around his thick neck that you wanted to softly pepper kisses. As you were caging him in your arms, his delicious scent wafted through your nose, welcoming how it was indeed mouthwatering for your blazing appetite or carnal greed.

"I want to have you, Geralt. I--I need to have you! These thoughts inside my head...It needs you, I--I need you," you begged, softly pleading like there wasn't anyone around you; not noticing Cirilla, Kolby nor Jaskier as there was only one person in your mind. Geralt of Rivia. Your Geralt. Your witcher. The only person who gives you fluttering butterflies and wild ants inside your stomach and chest.

You've tucked your face in between your arm and his braided hair, breathing the back of his ear like a wild woman as Geralt stood still and heard your whimpers that went straight to his stronghold, his will in finding another method to help suddenly wavering from how soft and provocative it sounded that clouded his mind.

He turned relaxed in your arms, accepting the bear hug and probably loving how close you both were together after hours of not talking to each other. You've felt his calloused palm caress your clothed back, soothing your pained mewls that came after your sensual whimpers as it was unstable. Geralt gently unlatched your arms that surrounds him, his golden peepers meeting your baffled ones before he had no problem in scooping you up in his arms, like newly wed couples.

"We'll think of other ways, midget. Come. Let's help you with the heat,"

Cliffhanger before the smut? I’M SORRY, BB’S. LOVE MEEEE STILLLLLL! 

Taglist: @alyxkbrl​ @himarisolace​ @barkingbullfrog​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @hellodevilslittlesister​ @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer​​ @marvelousell​​ @kingniazx​​ @angelias134​​ @tapismyforte​​ @chook007​​ @covid-donotenter​​ @winter-moons​ @cheesecakeisapie​ @silverkitten547​​ @angelofthor​r @carrieannewaywardson @plantingmum​, @stuckupstucky​, @shesthelastjedi​

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Typical dialogue from certain TV shows:

Asobi Asobase

Character A: What are you doing, Character B?

Character B: I’m trying to figure out how to pull the wrench out of my dog’s ass.

Character C: WHAT THE HELL, HOW DID A WRENCH GET STUCK IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Character A: We need to track down the Ghost Rider. Only he can unlock the ancient portal to the dimension of the Tripods, which can allow us to find our original timeline.

Character B: Sounds good. Fitzsimmons, get to work on the time machine. Daisy will lead the ground team.

Character C: Man, these missions are getting weird. 

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The Walking Dead

Character A: (staring out into the distance) It’s times like this that I’m reminded of just how beautiful mornings can be.

Character B: It’s because you realize that your heart’s still beating, right? 

Character C: My dad used to tell me that...you know, back when the world was still the world. 

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Stranger Things

Character A: Guys, I’m telling you, the monster that kidnapped Character D is a Gelatinous Cube, it says so in the D&D handbook.

Character B: D&D? Is that the new AC/DC album? Or is it Madonna-

Character C: HEY, WILL YOU KIDS STOP GOOFING AROUND ALREADY!?

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Science Fell in Love, So I Tried to Prove It

Character A: How to describe love...it’s like...it’s like that feeling you get when you go down the first loop in a roller coaster!

Character B: I see...so love can be calculated by assessing the levels of centripetal acceleration and g-forces then! 

Character C: Brilliant deduction, Character B! (makes blushing face) 

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The Flash

Character A: It looks like Main Villain has somehow found a way to negate Barry’s speed. We’ll need to find a way to make Barry faster.

Character B: Well, we could possibly do that by messing with the tachyon energons in his suit? That way, Barry can access more speed through the use of the Velocity Network. I can get to work on that today.

Character C: Sounds good. Okay, while you work on that, I’ll go with the others to find Condiment King and Hamburger Lad before they rob another bank. 

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Game of Thrones 

Character A: (currently naked) I might not be a fan of the North but I must admit...I do like to fuck these Northern whores. 

Character B: Will you please get dressed, Character A? We need to discuss the recent attack on our home by Ser John the Pillager. It looks like he was also using a horde of Midoriyan raiders to aid him in this attack.

Character C: Milord, I come bearing news from the south. It appears that Lady Larryn of House Montinello has agreed to our terms. 

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Demon Slayer

Character A: Alright, it looks like we have an easy mission today. All we have to do is deliver this jar of medicine to the next village-

Character B: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! THERE ARE DEMONS THERE, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Character C: WILL YOU SHUT UP, CHARACTER F?! THIS MISSION IS SO EASY, I CAN DO THIS WITH MY EYES CLOSED! 

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Community

Character A: We need to study for the next midterm. Does anyone have any ideas on the best way to study?

Character B: Well, we could always enter a training montage sequence. That should greatly lower the amount of time we need to study.

Character C: Okay...now let’s hear a suggestion from someone who’s not completely crazy. 

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The Office / Parks and Rec

Character A: I was supposed to be paid last Friday. What happened to my paycheck?

Character B: Uh...well...you see...that’s an interesting question. With an interesting answer. And that...answer...is...I forgot. So...there it is.

Character C: (stares at the camera)

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The Mandalorian

Character A: I brought you Jax Yumgar, alive. That’s 3,000 credits, along with the platinum ingot bonus that you promised.

Character B: Well, well, well. Looks like the rumors about you being the best at what you do were true, Character A. 

Character C: Of course they were true. He is a Mandalorian after all. 

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Friends / How I Met Your Mother

Character A: You won’t believe what happened to me at work today! 

Character B: Let me guess, your co-workers had sex in the bathroom? (laughtrack) You know...like the last time you told this story? (laughtrack)

Character C: So we’ve hit the “re-run” phase of Character A’s work life. (laughtrack) Eh, not a fan of re-runs (laughtrack)

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[idreamofplaid]

She’s the Magic

Square Filled: Fisting

Characters: Sam x Rowena

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Rowena doesn’t have to use magic to put Sam under her spell.

Word Count: 450

Created for @spnkinkbingo

I’ll let her do anything to me. She is a witch, and a good one; but that isn’t the reason. It’s the tone of her voice, the way she calls me Samuel, and the way she does everything with such grace. Rowena takes command of a room the second she walks into it. With one wave of her tiny hand, she can alter the world, affect the fabric of dimensions, or adjust the attitude of a tired hunter and make him see the world differently.

It’s that tiny hand she’s about to put inside me. Her soft red curls cascade over my shoulder as she whispers in my ear. “Are you ready, Samuel?”

That makes me shiver in anticipation. My dick twitches at her words. It’s already so hard it almost hurts. Rowena took her time preparing me for this. She concocted a special lube with oils and herbs that she assured me in her velvety voice would do more than slick me up; they were also aphrodisiacs. I believe her. My cock feels like it can’t get any bigger, like it’s never been this big.

She runs her tapered fingertip down my spine. Her touch tingles. It isn’t a spell; that’s just Rowena. Then her mouth is on me kissing the small of my back, the base of my spine while her hands massage my ass. My dick throbs, and the room fades away. All I know is her; there’s only her.

“Please.” I think she was waiting to hear it. She likes it when I beg. Her small finger pushes into me, and it feels so good. How is her whole hand going to feel? She’s small, but will it hurt? The not knowing arouses me more. She adds another finger and quickly a third. I can really feel it now, the way she’s moving her fingers. “Rowena.”

I can’t see her face, but I know she’s biting her red painted full bottom lip. “I’m just getting started, Dear. There’s ever so much more to...come.”

Oh, fuck. Just a word from her and my dick is pulsing, spurting over and over. I’m still coming when she pushes her fist inside. “That’s it. Keep coming for me, Sam. Such a good lad.”

The last thing I remember is coming dry because I had nothing left. At some point, I passed out from the overload of pleasure and pain. Rowena’s name was on my lips. It’s the first thing I say now when I open my eyes. She’s smiling at me clearly pleased with herself. I smile back weakly because I’m completely drained. It makes me wonder what sex would be like if she ever did use magic.

Forever Sam: @sammyimpala-67 @crashdevlin @logical-princey @zombiewerewolfqueen @fandom-princess-forevermore @heycasbutt @tumbler-tidbits @dean-winchesters-bacon @idabbleincrazy @fantasy-shadows @mariekoukie6661 @maddiepants @rebelminxy @peridottea91 @mereka18 @deansyahtzee @saltandburn-ilovesamwinchester @onethirstyunicorn @unabashedsoul97 @neveratease @princessmisery666 @invisibledevour @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @arwenadreamer @fullmooner @waywardwilled @waywardbaby @ketchacabra @oldfreakything @taylasara @girl-next-door-writes @wendibird @littlemiddlefoxbabe @mtngirlforever @focusonspn @kickingitwithkirk @dreamsfrozenincandyland

[larryfanfiction]

Movie! AU

🎬 The Proposal by curlshire (20k)

Louis is a tetchy editor and Harry is his unfortunate assistant. After Louis is threatened with a demotion, he quickly makes plans to fake a marriage to Harry. (Based off the movie The Proposal)

🎬 Supposed to Be by kikikryslee (26k)

“I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.” “Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

🎬 If I Should Stay by gloria_andrews (31k)

Louis is a television actor who suddenly needs a bodyguard. Harry is the bodyguard he ends up hiring.

A fic loosely based on the classic 1992 movie The Bodyguard.

🎬 Elysian by wonderlou (81k)

“What could be it, Niall?” Harry asks gently with a sigh. He slouches down further into his chair, crossing his arms lazily across his chest. He is bored. He has been bored for five years straight, but even more so now that his one interest has shut himself out entirely. Harry had not even heard from Louis, not since last night, not since he had gotten on his nerves so much that he was torn between knocking him out and smiling in surrender to the slight awe he felt. Louis is opinionated like no one he’s ever seen, but his voice is honeyed; high-pitched and indignant. Harry is nothing short of entranced.

Or, Harry is running out of time to fall in love, but with Louis, it seems as if there’s all the time in the world.

🎬 Because You Saw Me When I Was Invisible by supernope (32k)

A (not so) loosely-based Princess Diaries AU, in which Harry finds out he’s the heir to the throne of a country he’s never even heard of.

🎬 Dangerous Liaisons by IWillSingWithYou (42k)

Niall is the master of deceit and Harry is the master of seduction. Louis is just a very strong willed male model who happens to be straight. When Niall tells Harry he wouldn’t be able to seduce Louis, the bet is on, but Niall’s schemes are hard to avoid.

🎬 Leave Before The Lights Come On by Velvetoscar (15k)

Louis’ never had a one night stand in his entire twenty-one years of existence. Not once. That is…until now. And OF COURSE this is how it happened.

🎬 Let’s Fall in Love in a Place You Want to Stay by embro (134k)

A George of the Jungle / Tarzan AU where Louis is a model who meets Wild Man Harry in the Congo. He was raised by apes and barely speaks a word of English and turns Louis’ life upside down.

🎬 If You Wanna Try Me On by zimriya (18k)

To be fair, Harry’d been half asleep when Niall convinced him to put in his CV in the first place. Like, Harry wants to be a proper serious journalist–he’s not about to give up that dream in favour of becoming a personal assistant at a fashion magazine, or…whatever. Harry’s not actually all that sure what Tomlinson Styles even is, beyond his ticket to fame or any of the other things Niall’d spouted off at him, but when he shows up for the interview and is unceremoniously shoved into an office with the Tomlinson part of that equation, all Harry can really think about is that he would like to be a Tomlinson-Styles.

…or the Devil Wears Prada AU that no one wanted. Sort of.

🎬 when the city shines (like the sun at night) by fondleeds (37k)

In a different universe, a parallel dimension in which Harry is a braver version of himself, maybe he’d cup the back of Louis’ neck softly and melt their mouths together.

Maybe they’d tread on light feet up to Louis’ room because the house would be empty and they’d just kiss-and-kiss-and-kiss until their lungs burst, and then Harry would press his face into Louis’ neck and whisper I know you’re Blue, and Louis would do the same in turn, breathe that sentiment into Harry’s skin like a relief, and all the bad weight would lift, just the hot pressure of feeling so much remaining.

Love, Simon AU.

🎬 Now In A Minute by thealmightyavocado (150k)

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for Louis it actually was.

More than anything in the world, Louis Tomlinson dreams of growing up. Simply skipping over all of the awkward, embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life. Real life.

So when thirteen-year-old Louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected everything in his adult life to be picture perfect. And maybe it is. He has it all…or so it seems.

Except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, Harry Styles, is totally missing from the equation and Louis doesn’t understand why. He has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, Louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feels so empty.

Or the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

🎬 got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

🎬 like cabbages and kings by you_explode (60k)

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

🎬 You Drive Me Crazy (but it feels alright) by MrsStylinson (102k)

Bridget Jones’ Diary AU.

“Harry is not short for Harold,” he corrects, his voice as thick as molasses. He lowers his eyes to Louis’ sequined lapels, rubbing one between two fingers. “Is this small or extra small? It looks lovely.”

Louis breaks away from his grip with a petulant huff and pushes him back with two fingers.

“You’re mocking me. Again.”

Harry smiles and it’s a real honest swoop of his lips this time. Louis’ stomach swoops with them.

🎬 Just a Walk in the Park by comingbackhometoyou, forehead (124k)

It’s 2015, the first time dinosaurs walked the earth in over 65 million years. The multi-billion dollar company, Twist Corporations, is planning a summer opening for their world changing attraction, “Jurassic Park”.

They take an interest in the history making duo of Dr. Louis Tomlinson, a stubborn paleontologist, and his partner, paleobotanist Dr. Liam Payne, giving them the chance of a lifetime to work for the new theme park. Louis is apprehensive, but Liam has a “gut feeling” that it will change their lives. He isn’t wrong.

Featuring Niall as the top engineer to get the park up and running, Zayn as the raptor expert, and Harry as the grandson of one of the most influential men in the world.

🎬 Drowning In Your Eyes by smittenwithlouis (45k)

“Capt’n Styles, are you certain of this? They be attracted to man-made light.” “What is? Sharks?” The young blonde asks in terror. “Worse than sharks, lad. There’ll be flesh eating mermaids upon us in minutes, mark my words!” Paul huffs as he continues to wave the bright lantern in front of him, “And Captain Styles here, has us bait!” Or: The Pirates of the Caribbean inspired au where Harry is a fierce pirate who holds the heart of a beautiful merman.

🎬 everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold by sarcasticfluentry (49k)

Inception-inspired AU. Louis Tomlinson is the most respected and skilled extractor in the dream-sharing business; together he and his point man Zayn have been hired countless times to steal hundreds of valuable secrets straight from the minds of CEOs and politicians. One day, a mysterious and wealthy client contacts Louis and Zayn, offering them triple their normal rate in exchange for successfully completing a job that other extracting teams have deemed "impossible.” The one catch is that this client wants the very best - so he’s decided to team Louis’ skills up with those of Louis’ most hated rival, another highly-respected extractor named Harry Styles. Can Louis and Harry work together to complete the job and get the payout, or will they lose their minds along the way?

🎬 Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool by shitucute (18k)

“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to Harry’s innuendo fire.

“You know I only fuck you, not with you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.

or, Harry is Deadpool and Louis is Spider-Man and they’ve got way too much history

🎬 Paint The Sky With Stars by kiwikero (62k)

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

🎬 The Dead of July by whimsicule (117k)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

🎬 through struggles, to the stars by thedeathchamber (80k)

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what’s right. A Star Trek-inspired AU.

🎬 Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark (95k)

“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t know. It just does.”

Hunger Games AU where Louis Tomlinson is district six’s victor from the 69th Hunger Games and Harry Styles is district seven’s victor from the 72nd Hunger Games.

🎬 It Had To Be You by FullOnLarrie (45k)

Harry and Louis are strangers who share the long drive from Chicago to NYC after college. They don’t have anything in common, don’t get along, and at the end of their trip, they’re both glad to say goodbye.

During a chance meeting five years later, they find that nothing has changed, and they part ways expecting never to see each other again.

Ten years after their post-college road trip, Louis and Harry meet once again, but this time they become friends. Eventually, things get complicated.

A When Harry Met Sally AU.

🎬 Fool’s Gold by freetheankles (55k)

Leaflet for Over Again Inc.

“In relationships, there are three types of people: those who are happy, those who are unhappy but accept it and deal, those who are unhappy and in denial.

Handling this last category is our job: we are professional couple breakers.

To reach our goal, we use all means necessary.”

Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up.

🎬 Light My Fire, Blow My Flame by messofgorgeouschaos (98k)

“In New York, you can be a new man.” Broadway actor Louis Tomlinson has it all. An amazing flat, a wonderful friend group, a Tony under his belt, and the world at his fingertips. Yet there’s one thing that’s missing. And it might be in the shape of the curly haired lawyer who becomes Zayn’s new roommate.

Or, the One Where…. Louis is a Broadway actor, Harry is a newly graduated lawyer, Liam is a radio DJ, Zayn is an English Professor at NYU, and Niall is a music producer. A Friends AU.

🎬 King of wishful thinking by Star_Henderson (38k)

“Don’t umm don’t get on the bus, come inside.” Louis blurted the words out, speaking quickly.

Harry looked startled.

“Just. Look I don’t know if I want..” Louis scrubbed his face with his hand. “I’ll pay for your time. Just come in.”

Harry stepped away from the bus stop and the bus sailed straight past.

“What’s umm what do you guys make these days?”

Harry shuffled his feet. “Depends. Like two hundred an hour.”

Louis hummed. “Reasonable.” He gestured towards the hotel. “Come up for a drink or some room service or something.”

Harry scraped the toe of his already scuffed boots on the floor. “You don’t have to do this, I feel like… like you’re a nice person who feels bad but it’s fine. I get it. You don’t have to make it up to me.”

Louis stared at Harry. It’d been so long since he’d even spoken to a guy let alone hung out with one. He’d enjoyed the banter and the flirting.

“Come up.” Louis’ voice was soft.

Harry’s face bloomed into a smile. “Ok.”

🎬 Supposed to Be by kikikryslee (26k)

“I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.” “Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

🎬 The Edge of the Stars by casuallyhl (16k)

Louis laughed. “You think you can convince some random guy to want to go out with me?”

“Oh baby,” Jay chuckled. “I can convince all of the UK to want to go out with you.”

Or, a Meet the Parents AU where Harry is the man of Louis’ dreams, and it’s up to Jay to convince him to date her son.

🎬 Keep on Dreaming, This is Hollywood by popfly (31k)

Louis Tomlinson, a pop star manager, makes his way to LA with a pop star (and his new music demands) and a very busy schedule.

Harry Styles came to Los Angeles with a dream and ended up sharing a flat and an occupation with a male prostitute from Ireland.

What happens when Louis meets Harry, and makes him an offer he can’t refuse?

AKA A Pretty Woman AU where Louis is the high-powered businessman and Harry is the hooker. No, there is no necklace scene, but there is definitely piano sex.

🎬 a promise lives within you now by sarcasticfluentry (45k)

A Lord of the Rings-inspired Middle Earth AU. Louis is an Elven prince, next in line to become King of Mirkwood, and Harry is the orphaned Human boy who grows up alongside him. They fall in love, but Louis’s obligations to the throne, Harry’s mortality, and impending war threaten to tear them apart.

🎬 don’t be afraid, it’s only love by threewhitehorses (14k)

A proposal!AU where Louis is at risk of being deported back to England and Harry just really wants a promotion.

🎬 I won’t be afraid (Just as long as you stand by me) by larrycaring (49k)

Harry leads an ordinary life, and he’s totally okay with it.

So, of course, when it all changes and he learns he is the actual Crown Prince of a whole country he’s never heard of, he doesn’t welcome the news with open arms.

Thankfully, Louis is there by his side, and that? That, will never change.

or a Princess Diaries AU that I just really, really needed to write. No regrets.

🎬 There’s Such a Lot of World to See by crinkle-eyed-boo (125k)

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Harry asks, thumbing at Louis’ hip. “Like what?” Louis asks breathlessly. “Like you’ve seen a ghost or summat,” Harry muses. “You did it all the time the other day and you did it just now.” Louis swallows hard, studying him intently. “You remind me of someone,” Louis says softly, tucking a curl behind Harry’s ear. “Someone I lost.”

Louis has seen a great many things throughout his travels in time and space, but only one he can’t explain: He keeps meeting the same boy, who says the same thing to him each time. The boy should be impossible.

Maybe he is.

A love story that defies the boundaries of space and time. Doctor Who AU.

🎬 Music To My Eyes by twoshipstiedup (23k)

A closeted actor and a struggling musician meet one night.

They fall in love.

A Star is Born AU

🎬 After Hours by Velvetoscar (26k)

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are the bane of each other’s existences. Unfortunately, they’re already in love–even if they aren’t completely aware of this minor detail.

[A “You’ve Got Mail” AU]

🎬  Simply Irresistible by Rearviewdreamer (12k)

Louis only comes to town to start up a successful restaurant, but finds he can't quite leave once the job is done. Though, that might have more to do with him falling for his quirky neighbor than anything else.

or

A fic loosely based on the movie Simply Irresistible. A silly and funny movie with Sarah Michelle Gellar about witchcraft, cooking, and sex that everybody needs to watch at some point in their lives.

🎬  A Study in Love by Rearviewdreamer (24k)

Louis knows everything about everyone which has put him at a great and weird advantage over nearly all of them since the very beginning. He can solve any puzzle before most people know where to begin. He is rarely perplexed, mistaken, or wrong, and obviously, Louis is never ever surprised. And yet, his new flatmate after a very long string of failed ones has Louis questioning how he ever did any of it without him.

[cartooness]

‘I am NOT blushing, it’s just warm in here.’ For the masonder drabbles pls?

"Alright, Lav. You can do this, he's right there. Just go up to him and ask him out! Can't be that hard... right?"

Lavender was nervous beyond belief, she's never done anything like this before. But she's read enough books to know that to move the plot along, you've gotta go for it or you'll be screaming in frustration later.

Mason Adalbert. The one boy who could send her heart a flutter and turn her whole being to mush with a smile. He didn't seem like the kind of boy "girls like her" would go for; but she didn't give any fucks about that. He was cute as a button, smart, was super kind, and drank his respect women juice. Did she mention he was absolutely adorable?

She fixed her collar, adjusted her romper, and tousled her hair a bit. Here goes nothing.

"Mason."

He looked up from cleaning his glasses. "Yeah?"

fUCk he's cute, "Um. I was, um, hoping that. Um.", 'God I'm going nowhere, just cut to the chase.' she thought to herself. "Would you go out with me? Uh, please?"

He looked at her with a blank stare as he adjusted his glasses, "Me? Are. Are you sure?" 'Of course it's you!', she hastily thought.

"Yes, you. I'm sure of it. I um.. would really like to go out with you."

His cheeks flushed red and he gave a shy smile. "Yes. I'd love to. Where.... were ya thinking of going?"

Time for her plan! "Well, I was thinking of going to the roller rink tomorrow because it's Half Price Thursday. Plus, I've never been and I just thought it'd be fun... and yeah." God, she hoped she didn't look or sound too awkward.

"Ooh that does sound like fun, Lavender! What time were you thinking of-"

Ah, shit, Sheila's coming...

"Well, well, well, look at what we've got here! A goth wannabe prude asking out a boring little prude nerd. What a perfect pair, I'll bet-"

Lavender bared her claws, "Sheila Anderson get the fuck out of my face before I slice your damn neck off."she growled.

"Jeez bitch, calm down, I was just leaving", replied Sheila, annoyance and fear in her voice.

"Good." And with that, Lav went back to her business. "I'm so sorry Mason, I HATE when she talks to people like that, especially people I... like. Um, i was thinking around 5:30. Will that work for you?"

"Uhh yeah, that sounds good! Let me just, um, write it down really quick in my Little Tiny Journal for Various Things. ((Authors note, I actually have a notebook that says that on me at all times. XD))"

"Alrighty! It's a date! See ya then, bye! One of my dads should be here by now to, uh, pick me up haha."

He pulled her into a quick hug, "Bye Lav!"

...

She shouldn't have said a single thing. Lav had just come home to a small swarm of deadbeats, and not quite thinking, she spilled the beans about her upcoming date with Mason to them. But the thing about them is, they're like little kids; they'll repeat what they hear to anyone who'll listen. Excited about the news, they roamed around telling everyone in HQ that 'Lavender has a date with a boy tomorrow!' over and over again.

"Dang it, now I'll probably have to deal with- oh no he's pounding on my door."

"LAVENDER DEARIE, PLEASE LET ME IN, I HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE BITS AND DETAILS ABOUT YOUR DATE!! OH MY GODS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR-"

"Calm down Decan, you're going to break down my door!! Come in, we'll talk, I promise."

She let him in and he immediately started asking his burning questions, "Who is it!? Who's the lucky lad!? I'm all ears!!" With a sigh, she prepared herself to answer his 300 questions. "Well, it's Mason,-"

"HAH!! I KNEW IT!! LEWIS, YOU OWE ME 20 DOLLARS!!" he exclaimed.

"Um. Alright then. Mason and I are going to the roller rink tomorrow at 5:30 for Half Price Thursday."

"Ooh! I have a couple of outfit ideas that will make him fall head over heels for you~" he replied, ready to plan.

"Fine. But I get to choose the shoes."

"Deal! Let's see what they are so I can plan accordingly!"

She phased through her walk in closet and pulled out her choice of shoes, recieving a slight grimace from Decan. "These ones. I insist."

Decan took a large inhale, "Darling, I  L O V E  you, but I'm starting to regret that deal... I just... can't quite DEAL with those shoes... but! I like a challenge, so let's see what I can do!"

The shoes in question were knee high tye dye Converse in the demi romantic and asexual flag colors, but the green and purple colors were neon; not the easiest thing to match, that's for sure.

What felt like AGES later, Decan found an outfit consisting of a shin length black dress with lavender lace trim on the bottom, completed with sheer tights. He looked as if he was in the nth dimension, proud to have accomplished an impossible seeming task. "I DID IT!!! FINALLY!!!"

"Yes you did! I feel cute uwu."

"Well, you ARE cute!" he replied, stating his facts.

"....fine. I'll let you have it this ONE time." she replied, a small blush on her face.

"Alrighty then! Let's go downstairs, everyone is a buzz with excitement about your first date~"

So downstairs they went, and about four seconds later E V E R Y O N E was shooting the same rapid fire question,

"LAV WHO ARE YOU GOING ON A DATE WITH?!?!"

With a sharp inhale, she spilled the tea, "I'm going on a date with Mason, he's the cutie I'm always talking about." 

"And YOU, LEWIS PEPPER, OWE ME TWENTY BUCKAROOS!! FORK IT OVER!!" bellowed Decan, thrilled to have predicted correctly for once.

A slight grumble was heard from the back of the living room, and an annoyed deadbeat swarmed over with a twenty dollar bill and put it in Decan's waiting hands, "thank you!!~"

Everyone shared their excitement for the girl, along with a bit of worry about what could happen, but Lavender assured them that Mason is a very kind person. Plus, if anything happens, she always has a way to get out of a situation; magic and her amazing combat skills.

...

The day had come, and Lav had just been dropped off at the roller rink. She began looking for Mason until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hey! Looking for me?~" he announced, playful smirk on his face.

"Actually, yes. Sorry to keep you waiting, one of my dads took a bit longer than I thought doing my makeup... but hey! I'm not technically late, it's only 5:19." she replied.

"Oh please, you're worth the wait."

"What?"

"What?"

Both teens had a dusting of red on their faces, standing in an awkward silence.

"Umm, you look very nice! Love the shoes, must've taken ages to match haha." Mason chimed, nervously laughing.

"Aww, thank you. My Papa Decan almost gave in trying to find something, twas funny." she replied.

"Lav?"

"Yeah?"

"How. How many dads do you have, um, exactly? Are they polyamorous or, uh, something to that extent?" he asked, curious.

"Oh, that! No, they're not all poly, I'm adopted and a bunch of people have shared custody over me, so I basically have like, a dozen parents at this point pretty much. And all but two are men, so that's why I have a bunch of dads. Funny thing is, they're all in their mid-to-late twenties, so they're not quite on that 'dad age level' but I don't care. They all make bad jokes and are very caring so... yeah, haha. Don't tell anyone, but I'd totally do anything for them, all my caretakers. I love them a lot, and they all love me a lot, and I don't deserve them most of the time." she warmly replied, softly smiling to herself. Mason felt his cheeks warm up and his eyes were likely shining.

"Awww, that's so sweet! Also, you SO deserve each other! I like to think that things usually happen for some reason one way or another, and I think it's wonderful that they found you and that you all care for each other so much! Wh-why are you crying? Are you alright?"

She touched her face and realized 'yep those are mascara tears alright.'

"Oh, um, I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't even see I was crying. Um, let's, um, go inside, it's getting dark... or something. Haha." Lav replied, trying to move the date along.

"Oh, um, ok. Do you... want a hug?" he asked, trying to make her feel better.

"Yes please, I'd love that."

And with that, he pulled her into a warm hug, taking in each others warmth with a smile. 'She smells like warm apple pie... no wonder she's so wonderful...'

After what felt like An eternity, they departed and both were blushing messes.

"Um-"

"I am NOT blushing, it's just warm in here." snapped Lav, not sure what to do with these... warm,,, happy static feelings.

"Wait, you're  B L U S H I N G?? You look so cute though!" he replied back, smile in his eyes.

"Wha, uh, I-I do NOT!!",she sputtered, blushing deeper, "YOU'RE the cutie here! With your beautiful silver eyes, your soft caramel hair, and your breathtaking smile that I like so much! Not to mention, you're SUPER smart and nice and, and, GENUINE!! Do you know how many times literal DIRTBAGS have tried to flirt with me? They're always weird and gross and I do NOT like it, and I don't like how it's easily accepted for them to be all... X rated all the time!! Like, it may be cause I'm ace and repulsed by s*xual stuff, but still! Don't be gross, people!" she outburst, recieving some strange glances.

"*sigh*, I'm sorry Mason, let's go inside now, people are staring and I don't want them to do anything to you." she softly spoke, gently holding his back for him to follow her.

"...thank you. For, um, everything. It means a lot to me, stuff like that. Again, thank you so much.", he whispered, not sure what to say or do. "...am I making this, uh, awkward for you, Lavender? I'm really sorry if I am-"

"No, you're fine it's, uh, all good. Let's go get skates and such already, haha." she nervously replied, finally walking inside.

...

They were having a surprisingly good time, despite the shaky beginning. Both were doing laps around the rink, holding onto the perimeter every ten seconds due to fear of falling. But they got the hang of it, carefully skating around. They kept tapping hands, unsure of whether or not it was appropriate to join them together. Finally, Mason went in for the kill and took ahold of her hand. She felt a smile creep up her face, and held his hand back.

"Your hand fits nicely into mine, ya know." he smiled.

"Yeah. It does." she replied back, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, and him in return blushing like crazy. "Aww, you're so cute when you're blushing, Mason."

WELL THAT TOOK FOREVER LMAO. Sorry for the excessive length, it turned into a full on fic lol. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!!

Also Decan belongs to @thefearanddespair

EDIT: This is for the Villain!Lav AU, I forgot to mention it lol

[knivxsanddespair]

Multi Dimension Episodes

Purposes

Every living thing has a purpose in life, even the ones who do not communicate. Or so Solarius thought. Of all the fifteen years he tried to search for his own, all seems to come to a dead end. Neither Eclipsa, nor the MHC, Meteora or Star herself would loosen their tight lips whenever he asked about his biological mother, as if there was a looming danger whenever one would speak of her. 

“Sigh..”

He took a glance at the only photo of Mina, the only expression he had was irritation and hopelessness. “Bloody hell, ma. What did you do to these folks until any mention of you was like the bloody boogeyman? Why did you leave with all the answers? Can’t you just magically woosh like a spirit or something and talk to me? I doubt you would..”

“Ello ello ello, what’s all this then?”

The teen looked to see both his fathers at the door. “Nothing much, just thinking about stuff.”

“You’ve been thinking quite a lot lately, lad. And I know what you’ve been thinking about.”

“H-”

“Honestly, old bean. You think you can hide it from us?”

“I-I guess not.”

A familiar face walks in between his dads and face him. “Q-Queen Star?”

“Yes dear, I would like to apologize in advance about all of this..we never wanted to hide it away from you, sweetie. And I know how this has been weighing on your mind for quite some time so..are you ready to hear it all?”

Solarius couldn’t be any more ready for this. “Yes, Yes I am”

Little did he know the horrors that await for him to hear...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was your age, twice!

“Bwa?!”

“Indeed.” Meteora smirked triumphantly. “We grew up like, two times so we were actually babies two times!”

“Uh, according to your mom, something else happen so technically you grew up three times.” Mariposa corrected her.

“S-Stop making me feel older than I already am, Mari! Sisters don’t tell babies their real age!”

“That sentence didn’t even make sense.” She raised an eyebrow to her.

“A-Anyways!” The half-Monster continued. “Where was I, Nova? Oh yeah! we were the best duo in that zone, fighting everyday just to go through for some spiders!”

“We also...almost sacrificed your mom and dad to a pretty boy that has a mouth for a belly!”

“Mari!”

“Muh...Bwaaaaa!!!” 

Both teens were already scrambling for something just to pacify the baby. “Great going, Mari! Now we might have scarred our niece for life!”

“Just shut it and get something real fast!” She then remembered the bedtime story her brother used to tell her. She quickly slipped in the penguin on her finger and showed it to Nova. “And after the battle, they could have all the breakfast burritos they could ever want!” She recite it while wagging her finger to the infant’s face.

That sets Nova back to her cheerful self, to their relief. “Remind me never to babysit ever again.”

“Agreed.”

“But she’s precious when she’s not crying.”

“Also agreed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Too many bunnies dangit!

“But Daaaad!”

“Nova, I know you love them but at this point they are starting to fill up our castle!”

The blonde sighed, up until her sister said something in his defense. “Dad! They’ll follow our every order so you don’t have to worry!”

This got an eyebrow raised by Tom. “Alright then, Prove it to me!”

Nova and Sun smirked to each other. “Bunnies! Double file!” The bunnies who were scattering and jumping stopped and lined up in front of them.

“Now then, wave at Dad!” The bunnies all stood on the back paws and waved at Tom. 

Tom was at a shock. “Well now...now I’ve seen everything. I guess I can let them stay, if you promised to clean after them.”

Another victory for both of them. “We promise!” 

The bunnie proceeded on to walk off in an orderly manner with the two children.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Ladies and a kid

“Well...what do we have here?”

It isn’t everyday that a kid could have just waltz into the kingdom just like that. Even more so, Bella and Lilith have no idea where the blue haired kid came from. 

“Hmmm..” Lilith brought him to her lap. “What’s your name, kid?”

Tsunami couldn’t say anything, he just let out a few notes of melody.

“That’s nice kid, but we need to know who you are and where you live.”

Again, just a few strains of notes from his mouth.

“You can’t speak, can’t you?”

“Baaaah~”

“Great, now what do we do?”

Bella scratched her chin. An idea went to her head. “Well, do you see this man?” She showed Ruberiot to him. “He used to annoy my mom with a song, or so my Grandma Moon told. With your style of clothing tells me that you could have water based magic so can you try something?”

Tsunami looked at her, and then raised his hands. the pipes of the castle broke, as the water flowed and swept Ruberiot out of the castle. 

As the girls watched on, evil smirks grew as the cradle the merbaby. “Well..you may stay here for a while, and we are gonna have lots of fun and cookies!”

The mention of cookies got Tsu singing in delight. That would be a yes in his terms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My mama, your mama

Kyo had invited Leon to his house from time to time, feeling he should at least see his mom, even though she isn’t from his own dimension.

The counselor turn her head towards the boys as they got in. “Well, don’t be strangers now, this house is open to you too, y’know?”

Leon just nodded to her. “Thanks M- I mean-”

“Look, call me Mom, or Inang if you want to. Kyo already told me who you really are.”

“T..thanks mom.”

The three had some biscuits and talked about current day events, as well as discussing about their life partners, which made both Kyo and Leon blush bright red.

“Pfft, I just love how much of a mess teen boys could be. Anyways..Leon?”

“Yes, mom?”

“I know what had happened to your parents. And I want you to know that above all, what had happened to them was not your fault and it never will be.”

“Mom..”

“I know it really does seem like it was, but life is full of ups and downs. You can never be blamed for being born, and anyone who says so are pricks.”

He was trying real hard not to swell up right now, but he does need someone to say this to him.

“And know that you are not alone, you got a lovely demon girlfriend, and my son is now your brother, as will I be your mother if need be.”

That’s where it hits hard. Leon just went to her lap and bawled out his pain.

“Shhh..it’s alright child, I’m here..”

( Well now, It’s the 12 in singapore today and I am now 24 today! I guess on my birthday I just wanted to write this for ya’ll cause I know with the state of the fandom right now, the pressure and stress is real. I just want ya’ll to continue being the best peeps that you are and keep making awesome content, no matter what people may say!

Solarius belongs to @fuluv

Nova ( stomco baby) belongs to @jess-the-vampire

Nova (tomstar son) and Sun belongs to @megadraws

Lilith, Tsunami and Bella belongs to @kyotemeru-arts / @makanshoku

Leon Diaz belongs to @demon-draws 

I know it ain’t much but enjoy nonetheless UwU)

[captainkurosolaire]

Demise... I am...

<“This voyage... It spells of an End. I am a foolish, flawed and overall sinful man, do not mistaken this as my apologies or sincerity, for I cannot wipe away anything I’ve done or take it back nor would those simple words be justifiably allowed to let me off. These should stick to me, ingrain, devour me wholesomely. I brought wrought to those in my waters of haven, I’ve involved to many to give themselves to my cause and affairs... And I’ve failed, every single time. Not once did I win. Or fight solely to capture that by any means. I leave now, to the unknown. To slay a demon who possessed my dearest matey even if I have to give that release personally, I will. My sweat runs rivers, not of fear, but anticipation. I made a vow a promise, t’ not die. Though in honesty, I cannot assure this. If I never hunted those Damned Relics, this would haven’t happened, I wouldn’t have those lives buried and sunken to the depths, tattooed into my inner design. This Lair of a sprawling Devil, will ensure I don’t leave unscathed, though it’ll learn --- The souls inside me, they wish to torment have already done the job of self-destruction.”> A passage was written while extending vocally a monologue in the same simulations, printed to a worn-down stained Captain’s log over-top his desk. Unpacked and several wrapped layers of loose variant astonishing silk was drawn on a scarred up canvas, often this individual didn’t wear anything but himself and a familiarized hat. Though he was shaken to a core, undeserving of holding the mantle of the Captain until he properly slew the demons and plagues that he tried drowning out through feverish one night stands to get by or the thicket of a brew, giving replacement to dealings. A recently engraved Sigil was inked to a chiseled frame right above his left-pectoral which was carefully wrapped to layers subtly behind his chosen appendages. Its properties enhanced the wielder and gave them a more even playing field against the atrocities that awaited in the stain of darkness. He sat on the edge of a reflected bedside and drew a set of wrapped field dressing around his fists in combination. Every delicately wearing apparel was in preparation, a trip to the Unknown..

Removing his family heirloom compass coated and imbued with the last extracted increments of Kahzoo’s own essence to pin-point and confuse the transportation he was seeking to hit certain homing coordinates.Delving through a portal through the making of his fellow Voidal Peers for a usage. He dropped from nasty lilac textured stormy clouds and fell in a hard dropping thud. “Ow.” He silently left before standing up and draping off his dust. A long pause followed as he observed. “Wow... whole lot of nothing. No wonder they invade us. This place is more depressing then last time..” Breathless how a place could exist with nearly nothing of extensive value. He brazenly shrugged off before shouting loudly throughout the whole realm, “HEY, Dumbass! KAHZOO, Get yer sorry-excuse for an ass out here! I..., just want to talk...”  He shouted attentively with little braved concerns on who or what may be waiting to call in answer... Fumblingly lower off breath with mumbles, <Firstly though..., I need to wrangle a noose around the throat before I banish ye once and for all.> More silence broke....

Before, ~ “You came here searching to slay someone certain... But you only found your deathly demise, inferior.“ Feet of a charred black landed with three separations in sharp nailed toes like talons. Immensity of gloom settled in with a rising shift in aetherial pressure, it whirled chaotically and stung like a chain of administered whips. A thick blanketed of dark fog... or a cloud. Hung around its upper body swirling like a shroud of finery. The pitch of the screaming eeriness that cultivated fear that boiled goosebumps and chills, bred formation. As it’s tongue rolled from a putrid poisonous mouth holding more unsavory words that tone enough shattered the carriers of hearts in control. “You called a brother of mine...You must be the one so highly mentioned in spiteful complaints... A failure Captain who led his crew astray that allowed not only his dearest and only other remaining tatted brethren to his painful demise, you abandoned him and allowed him to be consumed by us. Giving my own brother a new suit of flesh, oh how, I like humanity.” It drew manically laughter to the crag-spires in underline vibrations. “Humanity. A storied flaw of what is between us. I hold little, you hide yours but overall hiding doesn’t abandon them. It’s why you’re weak, helpless. Emotions eat and fester attached to your hearts take you to travels out of stupid blind passion. But commonly, its their end they walk on. A grave they dig for chasing vengeance, ambitions, things too lofty for humane hand’s to wrap around, they’re too feeble.” A flex of this unidentifiable demon crackled its bones wickedly through its inner palms as it licked to attempt provoking uneasiness, before its targeted prey in the pirate opposing him. Jaded eyes seething of devouring, that only could be described otherworldly peered through the vapor.

The smug Seeker who typically should be blown away but was warded to the sinister tricks of the Voidkin currently. “My, my. You don’t shut up do ye lad? Humanity, this, humanity that..  News flash, I don’t hide mine. Why else do you think I’ve survived this long pencil dick? I’m flawed written on a blighted canvas! -- This place... Leviathan, it’s cozy to me even though aesthetically you’ve no talent for decor. Can say I feel at home. Cause like you, and you’ll learn if you listened to those whimpering moans of yer brother Kahzoo, I am a monster too. One who eats sins up like another pass-time. I don’t really give a shaded chub for the majority of the reasons, I am brought here. A hunt of those Relics, I obtained all those Summers ago, has brought me here to provide release of yer own unpleasant brother to one way or another for the benefit of mine... I’ll set him free, It’s my obligation and coded in my own set guidelines!” Pointing outwardly and show a symptom of no regard of what stood before him or where exactly they were in. “Fool, fool, FOOL... I feel like that is something you’ve been told. ~ Yes...” The overwhelming foul beast drew an arm up and closed its silted eyes..  Scanning for the heaviest memories and recent sorrowfulness affairs to stir pots. “You were told under crying beloved tears not to venture here. To not be so... densely stupid. Yet, here I find you. Avoiding their words? Ha, I would curse you of misery but it already awaits even without a guide of my touch. Ahhh, but there is more... You left a crew alone, You left behind without taking care of someone who holds yer heart closely and ever devotedly unwavering you have given them the keys of your inner-world but you cast ruination on all they hold precious attached to those sleeves out of this stubborn notion, you’ll prevail here. That what you sought would be claimed and answered... I even think you, -think you’ll honestly win. -- That won’t be a scenario. Here you’re in my Lair. I am infinite, I am eternal, unwavering, no ripple you make can shake me.” An unholy blasphemer quips further to regulate dread throughout a poorly designed creation in accused mortal. Nearly falling asleep while standing up from the sheer boredom and passing out a yawn as he was attempted to be riled, finally snapping back and eye-rolling, he’d shake his head playfully as the pirate launched to a springing jump and kicked in velocity his loosely worn studded leather-boots that pulled pins hung to his toes that detonated at a few second delay. A huge random holy explosion caught against the opposing demon developing him in a bright flash and hearing a screeching in frustration.

Landing back with light-steps. “You didn’t want to keep the mouth-flaps locked, I chose to do you the favor, I typically save the whole gags for another encounter of pleasure, but this was on the house.”  As the crags debris and rubble all scattered and picked up a dust cloud. In the silhouette a bridle of crowned tentacles squirmed over head half of the opposing demon’s face was entirely obliterated off.  As he was gargling against his own saliva the cloud that wore around started to draw into the exposed injury and rejuvenate at an accelerating rate. Tension drew in and instinctively a meteor formed above the Seeker to dodge from the heat in combination with a secondary hand of the purest of darkness etched into its violently purple complexion. A set of beams followed in tracking suite as the pirate started nimbly putting every bit of his athletically heritage running tantrum to the finesse placed on alert test to juke and dodge as many as possible. Anger was now tipped over and the time of talk finally concluded for now. No matter how swift one ran, It could not attend with so many concentrated beams. As pains of agony flinched against him from welted hits smoldering hence of fog his flesh burnt in several spots already one mean puncture against his arm that made carrying the weight of his scimitar difficult as it was unsheathed to coiled clutches. Stammering with his teeth bitten across his bottom lip drawing own blood it left a scent as he hung behind a spire to steadily, formulate a counter. Silence broke through out the dimension by standby and as the pirate took a peeking look over to see if it could determine the location of its monster. He was senseless and felt ready to run towards another spot to secure himself, in mid-step in a cosmic set of speed a thunderous connected kick echoed through out the jaw of Kuro and sent him spiraling through a layer of terrain and momentum. Raw overwhelmingly monstrous strength cracked against his spine threaten to shatter every bone in a throttle. His grip lost hold of his blades nearly by handles.

Barely his exposable fingertips hung on in desperation, only seconds already into the Void and already his own headspace was reeling back nearly wanting to go unconscious there... A blurriness to his one amber-eye watched these taunting and tormenting steps being heard against the brush of his feline ear... Slowly, methodically drawing out. Every echoing thud against the cryptic soils and nearly no sign of life in the dimensional realm. The fiend pausing purposefully before halting away a few ilms off distance. As the pair locked up once again in eyes. Kuro hardly saw the look of the ferociousness pumping in virile unadulterated and matched strength. A singular gulp was prepped as the Miqo’te braved himself for a thrashing watching that contorted face start to merge back its skin its lips still chunked off. In a split shifting speed once again the demon clutched the throat of the intruder and before the scimitars could be mustered to cut they were swatted ferociously with a tail as helplessness settled in defensively. He was being manhandled and being raised swatted with excruciating whelps by the stinging tail, his tendrils hung over head grabbed and bounded his ‘preys’ four limbs before swinging him around back and forth, over and over in crashing thwacks. His eye was blanking out and becoming more hazy as he was donning the horizon of no return. Even with a Sigil to nullify a lot of the Void’s age progression and overall corruption or to break the illusions it didn’t overall grant anything extraordinary in feats. Pain cried throughout the emptiness of the dimension. After enough invented fall-away slams, the demon got bored with his toy and threw it off to watch it try to slump up and stand. It hung back and crossed a leg just simply levitating a balance on one. Though slowly and surely that reckless and stupid, stupid, man spit out blood over himself drooling slops of streaming saliva before wiping his chin and ripping his rags off that were just decimated this point. He weakly and surely slumped over back to his two feet, his face left blank and darkened across.  Before lightly wrapping a set of hands around his coveted eye-patch and rippling it off breaking his own hold. Glistening and glowing two set of the more brilliantly golden hues peered from his eyelids. Yes... Now he could see, truly. He glamoured up a smile in curvature, It didn’t need following words only the expression in his look the blood oozing and battle-worn frame that took a tremendous pounding from a far superior and overall overwhelming enemy. Round two had just began!

B L A C K

           D E V I L

                         S A G A

~ Master-List of Previous Chapters

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 3

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count:  1.6k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday at 4pm est and Sunday at 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

Phil didn’t realize how exhausted he actually would be. 

When he said his goodbyes to PJ and headed for the tube station, he made a quick stop to a Nando’s and picked up some lunch before he caught the tube and headed home.

As soon as he was through the door, he saw Martyn sitting on his couch with Spike sleeping on his lap. He was watching some Netflix nature documentary on Phil’s TV and eating some sort of a half-made sandwich that Phil figured he scrounged together after going through his fridge. 

“How was Spike?” Phil asked, distracting Martyn away from the documentary. 

Martyn picked up the remote and paused the documentary. “Mostly just slept.” 

At the sound of his name, Spike had already perked up and was ready to jump down from Martyn’s lap and run over to Phil. He jumped down on his tiny paws and patted his way over and Phil bent down, petting his gently on his back. 

“How was the set, famous actor?” 

“Shut it, Martyn. I was only there because the BBC required me to be.” Phil said as he sat down beside Martyn on the couch and began to unpack his Nando’s bag. He fished out his chicken wrap began to undo the packaging as Spike sat at his feet and hoped to be fed as well. 

“Do you get to see the famous Daniel Howell?” Martyn asks, reaching into his bag and stealing a chip. 

“Yeah, actually. We shared a quick moment.” Phil answered as he took a bite of his wrap and then broke off a piece of chicken and gave it to Spike. 

“What happened?” Martyn asked, stealing another chip. 

“We met eye to eye and then he smiled at me.” 

“Oh damn. When’s the wedding?” 

“You’re an ass.” Phil swatted at Martyn’s arm. Martyn just laughed. “I know it doesn’t really mean anything but the way he stared at me was just...something else. And that smile he flashed at me was like no other smile I’ve seen.” 

“Phil,” Martyn punctuated. “You’re acting like a love sick teenager. He’s a celebrity. He probably flashes that smile at everyone.” 

“But...” 

“You’re really about to argue this?” Martyn laughed. “Lad has you ready to go to bed and you’ve never even spoke.” 

Phil rolled his eyes and finished his wrap, throwing the container into the bag. He pulled out his chips and groaned when he saw Martyn had ate almost all of them. 

“I don’t know, Martyn. It was different.” 

And Phil still stood by that even into the afternoon as he found himself suddenly wanting to look Daniel up on social media. He started with Twitter first and he went through and saw all of his tweets―or rather lack there of. Daniel didn’t tweet all that much. But when he did it was often kind of comical. He liked talking about memes which was different than what he was expecting. 

From his Twitter, he ended up going on Instagram. Phil had to admit that Daniel’s Instagram photos were near flawless. It was no wondering he had nearly 20 million followers on there and received about 5 million likes a photo. It was kind of amazing compared to Phil’s measly two thousand followers that he’s gotten over the years. 

He went through the photos and he reads through some of the comments on them. Most people talk about how much they love him and some even get replies back from him if they’re lucky. 

He scrolls back up Daniel’s profile to the picture of him and the dog and he looks it over, smiling. There was something about Daniel and Phil thought he was finally understanding the hype behind Daniel. The reason why People Magazine called him one of the sexiest men alive. Because Daniel was attractive. He was actually stunning. 

And just like that, with a defeated sigh, Phil realizes he’s developing a stupid crush on him and there is nothing he can do. He’ll probably never see Daniel again. 

***

Turns out never seeing Daniel again was completely false. He got an email from the BBC two days later asking if he could go to the BBC and help out. Phil didn’t know what they meant by help out but he still reported to the BBC anyway on the day that they asked. 

Arriving at near seven in the morning with a Gregg’s coffee in hand, Phil arrived to the BBC once more with a crowd of people waiting outside. He could hear scenes being shot in the distance somewhere in the building and he really did not know what he was supposed to be doing. 

The same woman from before met up with him, this time introducing herself as Mabel. “So we loved you as a background extra in the scene before so we decide to bring you back for another scene. That is of course if we still have your full consent for it.” 

Phil nodded slowly. “What am I going to be doing?” 

“So it’ll be a scene with Daniel. There will be no words or anything. You’ll be standing in the coffee room with a group of other background actors, Daniel will come in, stand beside you, grab a coffee, and then that’s it.” 

Phil furrowed his brows. “Is that all?” He asked. “Why me specifically for this scene?” 

Mabel smirks at him. “Daniel requested you.” 

Phil sputtered, nearly dropping his coffee cup on the ground. “He doesn’t know me?” 

“Well, he asked for the ‘black haired male from the scene before’ and we kind of figured out he meant you.” She said. 

Phil felt flustered. There was so much he could unpack in that moment but instead, he was being rushed off to the set of the coffee scene. Mabel took his coffee off the side and then instructed him on how the scene was going to go. Phil felt somewhat reassured to know that Mabel wasn’t positive if the scene would be in the final cut but he still was intrigued being a background extra. 

Who knew that the BBC telling him he had to report here worked in his benefit? 

He got into place with all of the other actors and they all got ready for whatever was going to happen. 

Then Daniel walked in and it was like a different dimension again. His smile that he flashed to those he walked by and that perfectly styled hair. Once again, Phil got it. He got why so many people are infatuated with Dan because he’s infatuated too. He’s never been like this with someone before. It’s weird. It’s strange. He doesn’t know how to react...for fucks sake Daniel asked for him to come back just for this scene. Isn’t that a bit unusual? 

“Hey mate.” 

And now Daniel was talking to him? He felt his palms sweat and his heart beat through his chest. 

“Hey.” 

He’s trying so hard to keep his cool but he’s losing it fast. He turns and looks at Dan, all dressed up in that business attire they had him dressed in. Phil’s not even entirely sure what this movie is about but he could care less if it meant he was now being stood in the same scene. 

“I feel like this is probably awkward,” Dan says, bringing his lips into a tight line. “But they were asking me who I wanted in this scene and I don’t know, I just thought you did really well in the scene from a few days ago. You were like natural?” 

Phil blushed, his skin flushing red. “Oh thank you. I did the multimedia and film masters program at the University of York.” 

Dan cocked an eyebrow and nodded. “Could have fooled me.” He said. “Never would have thought you had experience in this field.” 

Phil felt his stomach drop a little bit because he wasn’t entirely sure what Dan meant by that. But this was Dan. This was the biggest celebrity in Hollywood right now. He needs to remember this. 

The director started and he did exactly what Mabel had explained to him. Within just a few moments, the director was yelling cut again and then it was over. The scene was done. The director said that they got their shot and then they were all leaving the set. 

He’s leaving the BBC when he hears someone come up behind him. He half thinks that maybe he left something at the set but he’s quickly mistaken. The person behind him is wearing a baggy black sweatshirt and a pair of skinny jeans. 

Phil can’t figure out who this person is until his eyes focus on the face covered by the hood and he realizes that this is Daniel Howell standing there, coming after him. Daniel Howell...wants to catch up with him? 

“Hey!” Daniel called. “Can I get your name? You seem like a super nice person and not like a totally crazed fan girl.” 

“Oh! Yeah.” Phil stumbles awkwardly. “It’s Phil Lester.” 

“Do you have a Twitter or an Instagram?” Dan asks, pulling out his phone from his pocket. 

“You can find me under the url amazingphil.” 

“Amazingphil?” Dan snickers. “That’s kind of amazing actually. Where did you come up with that?” 

“It was a university thing.” Phil said, blushing. “It just kind of stuck.” 

“I wish I had a cool nickname like that.” Dan muttered to himself. “But sadly, I...”

“Dan! You’re wanted on set in twenty minutes and Kirsten is requesting you in hair and make up.” 

Dan shoots Phil an apologetic glance and then flashes a smile to him again. “I’ll see you around!” 

And then he’s gone. He’s walking back towards the people who called for him. 

And really, Phil is left standing there, completely awestruck. He’s not even sure that what just happened was even real. Was any of this real? He couldn’t tell. 

He pinched his thigh. He definitely felt it. So no, he wasn’t dreaming. 

He actually just had a semi-successful conversation with the Daniel Howell. 

He might actually faint. 

Last Chapter | Next Chapter 

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

A Wolf at Her Heels

Chapter 5/10

ten x rose

This is the story of Rose Tyler.

Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth, hopping through endless dimensions to find her Doctor. We all know how the original story ended.

This one ends differently.

In this story, Rose has a little help from her friends, and from a Wolf.

**A Journey’s End fix-it, because sometimes I want a happily ever after**

Chapter 5 - The Music

(The Tenth Doctor)

You’re mad, Rose Tyler.

She wishes shushing that inner voice would work. She knows she’s mad. As soon as she realized where she was she should have run in the opposite direction and spent the rest of her time hiding. Avoiding. She could have caught a movie. She could have had chips. She could have browsed in a book shop--there’s one she misses nearby, and the books on this earth are slightly different from the ones on Pete’s World. There are more than a few she wouldn’t mind taking back with her.

But what is she doing instead? She’s skulking in the shadows again, this time trailing behind the Doctor.

She absolutely cannot go talk with him this time, though. No inner debate necessary. Because this time she’s following herself, too.

Would he be proud of her, knowing he taught her so well? She’s keeping her distance, walking casually, taking time to stop and look into shop windows. A few times she takes out her mobile and chats into it. In short, she looks like a normal person enjoying an afternoon in London.

A normal person who happens to enjoy the shadowy side of the street.

But really, it’s not hard to follow people when you know where they’re going. They are nearly a block ahead of her, but she hears them beside her. She sees them too, the Doctor tugging on the younger Rose’s hand, nearly pulling her off her feet at times.

“You have to hear her,” the Doctor says, two steps ahead of her so she nearly has to run to keep up. “In six years her name will start popping up everywhere, and soon she’ll be all over the world. She’s brilliant, Rose, a true master. She’ll play for presidents and kings! But right now she’s just a little girl who was sent to the park across the street to practice her violin because her mum’s got a headache. So hurry now. It’s not far now. Allons-y!”

It hurts, hearing his voice like this, the pure joy in witnessing a seemingly insignificant moment in time. Almost worse is seeing her own face as she looks at her Doctor.

She hadn’t realized love could be worn so plain.

There are swings in the park, close enough that Rose can see see the trio under the oak tree but too far to hear anything they’re saying. At first she worries she’s too close, but by now the Doctor is too wrapped up in the music to notice anything else. She hopes. As she sways slowly forward and back, dragging her toes through greying wood chips, only the faintest strains of the violin make it to her ears. But she remembers. The small girl, soft brown curls pulled back from her face with blue barrettes, eyes closed and face intense while she plays. The Doctor and herself holding hands, captured by the music. It’s not just the technical precision of the girl’s playing, which is extraordinary in itself. What staggers them is that already, at eight years old, the child plays with a depth of emotion most adults never achieve.

“What’s that you’re playin’?” Rose asks after the last note fades.

The girl looks up, clear blue eyes wide. She’d been lost in the music; she nearly drops her violin but her training holds.

“Sorry!” says Rose. “Didn’t mean to startle you! Your music is so lovely--sad, but lovely--well, I just wondered what it is. I feel I’ve heard it before…”

“You probably have, most grown-ups have done. It’s the theme from Schindler’s List,” says the girl, surprising Rose with her soft Scottish accent. “My granda asked me to learn it special. He says he’ll tell me when I’m older, but I asked me mam…”

She tells his story, both beautiful and sad, with a Jewish boy who lost everything and the Scottish lad who became his best friend when he’d arrived, all alone, in a small Scottish village. They thought they’d be friends forever, but after only two years the boy had gone away. There where and why was unclear--back to Poland to long lost relatives? Shipped to another foster family? Just...lost?--but he’d never been forgotten.

“The song is sad,” says the girl, “but it makes Granda happy. He loves to hear me play.”

The Doctor squeezes Rose’s hand. “Thank you for letting us listen to you for a bit. I don’t know about Rose here, but it made me happy too.”

Rose watches the Doctor and herself wander away, much more sedate than they’d been on their way to the park. They hadn’t talked much on the walk back to the TARDIS. Rose had been thinking about the Time War. The Doctor doesn’t talk about it much--hardly at all--but she knows it still plagues him. He gets a faraway look in his eyes, faraway and lost, and then suddenly he’s manic, leaping to the console and yammering about where they should go and what they should see and who lives there and…

Rose wipes away the tear that’s left a wet streak on her cheek. “Who’s taking care of him now?” she whispers.

Hands gripping the chains of the swing almost too tightly she pulls herself to her feet. The Doctor and the other Rose are gone, but she’s lost all desire to follow. She can’t look at him from a distance anymore; it’s so much worse than she’d ever imagined to see and not touch. To listen from afar instead of hearing his words whispered in her ear. Her hands sting from the links of the chain, but the ache of emptiness is far worse.

The girl begins to play again, this time something bright and cheerful. Rose walks just a little closer--she’d like to hear a bit better, but doesn’t want to confuse the girl by introducing herself looking exactly like someone she just met.

She knows she’s heard the music before, and more than once. Finally she says aloud, “What is that?”

A boy, maybe ten years old, gives her a superior look from his perch atop a nearby picnic table. “Thought everyone knew that one. We had it in school ages ago. It’s Peter and the Wolf.”

_____

@doctorroseprompts

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher Of The Night (Chapter 4)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 3

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Ciri wanted chicken and so she gets one. Y/N needed warmth amongst the cold weather in the Forest of Kaedwan and she'd received more than a warmth for her body as it traveled straight to her heart; warming her soul. Even getting some sort of comfort from the witcher himself. Other than that, Geralt had a lead on where the sorceress was. Though, right now he needed her to help you Plus, he also had other options other than that. 

Warnings: FULL OF Y/N AND GERALT FLUFF. ❤ Geralt is an asshole at first because of certain reasons. 😂 Blood and animal killing in this one. Smiling, soft Geralt, tho still having that stoic expression of his of course. Gotta write him completely in character. 😂 Also, a Hirikka is here and will be on the next chapter!

Words: 3,900+

A/N: There's a part 2 for this chapter. It'll be a chapter 4.1 but will be posted after 2-3 days. ^u^ I couldn't put them together because it'll be 8-9k words long. 😅😂 Sorry, if I write long ass chapters and the pace is still slow. I need to develop their characters, relationship and such. The places said here are from the game however it isn’t accurate and I just made my own direction. Like how I try to make my life go in the right path but failing and actually walking on the wrong path. LMAO. Also, I’m making a masterlist for WOTN! 🤗

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! 

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren't from moi as well.

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

"Do you not...have cars, Geralt? Or motorcycles?"

You've panted like you were having a marathon, palms falling on your knees as you took a breather; seeing a small cottage on the far end of the shallow path in the forest.

It was a smaller house that had a fence with chickens, goats and pigs segregated by kind. The home was a sandy shade of yellow and a slip of brown which was also made just like how Geralt's have been.

No answer was given to you other than how he was hauling Roach back to look at you who were walking along side with him; not bothering to even ask you for a ride. It's not like you were hoping he would. Based on the change of mood he'd gotten, you were sure he won't lend you his horse to lessen your difficulty in traveling bare foot.

You've already asked what his horse's name was. He simply answered with the word 'Roach', allowing you to touch the horse as she neighed. Much to someone's dismay; specifically a bard who happened to saw the whole interaction, left a mutter to himself.

"Why does the midget get to touch Roach in haste and I don't?!" Jaskier muttered rather in disbelief. The Witcher fixing his black, hooded wool cape attached to his shoulders, giving him a subtle hum with the gravel of his voice.

Jaskier huffed for the third time, hands on his hips as he watched the scene before him with incredulity in his baby blue peepers. You happily caressed her crest as Geralt fixed things on the leather bag attached to the horse's hip.

"Geralt---" Jaskier started but was cut off with a insouciant scold from the man himself, "Don't call her midget," he cut him off without even paying him attention. Jaskier gave a nod; a grin molding his face leading to mischief at the chide given.

Jaskier took a step close and planned to give Roach's crest a caress but his stern friend was fast enough to cease his wishes, "Still, don't touch roach," Geralt quickly mumbled as he felt Jaskier's plan on touching his horse. The bard slyly grabbed onto his own hair, brushing them through his locks like he wasn't about to pet Roach. Geralt closed the bag with a soft click, giving him the side-eye; voice firm and full of derision, "I don't want you singing a song about my horse in the near future,"

Which is why you were walking on your own now with Geralt's good will on making you handle the death march rather like a happy child.

It was probably okay, you thought at the back of your mind. Walking, that is. Exercising in the morning was great, except that if it weren't too chilly unlike him who have gotten a full armor and gear out of his closet like he'd gone out of a magazine or animè. The sword on his back even giving you shivers, but a different kind because of how tough looking he had as his exterior.

You shook your head as he just looked back at you. That look of his that was filled of inquiry; asking you what you were saying in the back of your mind. A huff of pure exhaustion was given to The Witcher before you sauntered forward, leaving the man eyeing you with sass and a high raise of his bushy brow.

Geralt followed through along with Roach as he pulled her reins, slowly galloping as he analyzed your form from behind. His buttoned up tunic that reached the ends of your thighs with a weird kind of foot ware that certainly doesn't help with the crispy, brisk temperature of the forest.

Geralt gravelly sighed, watching you struggle with scrubbing your legs together as you pathetically strolled forward and onto the place that he'd pointed. He was too engrossed at seeing you struggle when he has heard a slight twig breaking from afar, catching his senses and making him look to where it came from.

"Midget," The Witcher tried calling you with that deep voice of his in the middle of the woods. Though, to no avail; you never heard him coherently and continued your stroll through the forest; hollering a message without even looking back because of the mere exhaustion.

"You're too slow, Geralt, like an old man! I'm exhausted!"

He breathed out his vexation of your naivety that you weren't strolling in your world. You were walking in theirs and having your own little dimension while you walk by yourself can be pretty dangerous.

Geralt heard the crack of another wood. It was from behind a large hickory tree. He doubtfully grabbed onto the handle of his sword wrapped behind him; halfway unsheathing the sword and contemplating if he needed to jump off his horse when suddenly a medium sized Hirikka came into his view, maybe an inch shorter than you. Those eyes that were doe, just like yours whenever you wanted something and eventually getting it from him.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" Geralt asked the Hirrika. The tone in his voice softer and in awe. He'd rummaged through his bag without taking his Aurum, blazing eyes away from the harmless creature, feeling an apple inside his bag and threw it as the Hirikka caught it with its own two paws.

"Don't get yourself killed out there,"

Thus, he began to follow you as fast as possible before you even get yourself harmed from any monsters. When he'd seen you leaning on the fences of Cuthberth's home, he didn't know he has been holding a breath for as long as he could remember without seeing the sight of you.

You were making him insane for not even waiting for him and thinking what would've attacked you in the forest of Kaedwan.

Cuthbert was feeding the chickens inside their palisades. His friend thought you were lost but you've said that you came for the purpose of buying chickens with a man. He was friendly enough to give you chitter-chatter while waiting for Geralt to follow you from behind. It took minutes before he arrived with a complete set of body parts; so the worry of him being killed off by a monster was thrown in the dumps.

As he rode his horse closer, you've had the chance to admire the beauty edging to be seen. You were in awe as his mere self was enough to get you ogling at the man treading near. Never seeing such a man like that who wore armors in his everyday life except from seeing Cosplayers in certain conventions that seemed so fake rather than Geralt who felt real. Too real that you were pondering if he was just a mere hallucination or a fantasy of yours.

He was definitely eye-candy. Dashing. Ravishing. Beyond gorgeous.

Cuthbert saw them coming and so, his expression turned wild with a grin. His dirty fingers scratching his bald head in excitement as he jogged out of the fences with a giddy self. "Oi! You didn't tell me it's the infamous Geralt of Rivia, elfin!"

Famous. He's famous? you thought to yourself before keeping your eyes away from the witcher who had already jumped down his horse and gave you a look; asking what was wrong because you were staring like there was a problem at hand.

You didn't need to tell him that your heart was actually the problem. It was always skipping a beat whenever he'd pay a glimpse to stare at your eyes.

A soft clear of your throat, your fist covering your mouth as you do and you eyed Cuthbert inquisitively, "Is he famous? Famous for what? Is he an actor? Model? The king of this kingdom or something?"

Cuthbert patted his dirty hands on his soiled apron full of flour, a hand on his hip while the other reaches out for Geralt's powerful looking shoulder in attempt to give him a pat. The animal butcher's forest green eyes coruscant of fervor. Geralt's initial response was to give him a smile back with the man's excitement in seeing him again, "This lad's a something! Kills all types of beasts, vampires, dragons, huge kikimores---"

You coughed out loud, making them snap their heads from where you stood. Cuthbert's words sounded too surprising to be true. As much as you remembered, vampires only existed in the movies and games; not in the real life survival of people. His words caught you off-guard, "Vamp--vampires? There's vampires here, Cuthbert? Even dragons?"

Geralt looked at you, utmost jaded. The way your voice stuttered alerted him that you were scared or probably still unfamiliar--still illiterate of their world since he was doubting to give you all the information ahead if you abruptly disappear out-of-nowhere with the knowledge of the continent; their world. It would be very much dangerous for it to be compromised especially that you had the experience in teleporting to their dimension.

Cuthbert gave a loud laugh, not believing the strangeness of your words, "You're actin' like yer’ never been here before! I thought yer’ were livin' with the Witcher?! You should ask the white wolf, here! He's killed hundreds! Maybe even thousands!"

You've fluttered your eyes closed, trying to calm yourself from running off the forest and getting yourself killed just like the horror movies you've watched. You've called them idiots, now wasn't the time to call yourself one as well.

Though, you were completely unaware of Geralt's gaze which consist an ample amount of worry. You continued your rambles in a hushed whisper, "I'm not just in a freakin' game that have monsters, but even a live-action movie of Twilight. This is great, real great."

The Witcher clenched his teeth, gradually turning his body to you without moving his soles. His forehead creasing as he could feel your heart beat quickening, "Are there also wolves? Big bad wolves here?" your voiced lowering a miniscule, sounding diminutive.

His friend gave off a shrug, his mouth forming a thin line when he did so as he scratched his whitened beard, "We may never know what this world can bring, Elfin! It always brings out the worst of everythin'!"

At the confident mention of that, you've felt your chest tightening with the knowledge of having vampires and dragons around. What if you died in their world? Would you also be dead in earth? Geralt licked his Crimson lips, staring down at you with utmost comfort that he could give. Yet, he failed at that with how stoic his expressions can get. Though, his eyes were exempted because his feelings can be read through those stern, Aurum eyes.

Midway, he'd lift his burly armor-coated arms to plan and give your back a caress to calm you down; but he was immediate enough to drop it down considering that maybe even a touch to the hand would calm you because he'd seen it trembled. If only he was thoroughly direct towards you; he would in a heart beat.

"Don't panic, Midget." The roughness of his voice; that definite amount of timbre. It was the only word you've heard from him. Short but straightforward. Even so, still the only thing that calmed you down through out all your panic attacks back in earth and even in their world.

Cuthbert has seen Geralt's attempt of comfort; even seeing his eyes shift in a way that nobody else could. He had a smirk on his face, scrubbing that beard he was owning, "Who is she, Witcha'? Another one of those clingy harlots of yours?"

Geralt turned his head to see Cuthbert smirking. The way his eyes changed into a lethargic faze meant that the witcher was mantling the emotions he was having or probably having no idea that he was feeling it yet; in denial of the state he was in.

"---Or the trouble and strife?"

The witcher knew what he meant and decided to let those words fall out of his ear to the other. His hands clasping together on his front as he straightened his back, cocking his head to the side as he narrowed his eyes on the latter, "We need...chickens," Cuthbert raised his eyebrows in astonishment, "You cook now, witcher?"

No words were said besides from a satisfied hum as the chickens clucked before the butcher of animals. The panic died down because of Geralt's voice and you've finally had the will to insert yourself in the conversation.

"I do!" you excitedly exclaimed, stepping a foot closer to Geralt and the witcher was aware of it, giving you the side-eye, "---also, do you have any spices please?"

Cuthbert nodded in comprehension, sending a playful wink to The Witcher and scrubbing his hands together as he also gave you a rogouish smile, "Oh, that kind. The little woman, Geralt! Literally because this elfin is quite short but fetching nevertheless!" Geralt gave him an apathetic blink of an eye, sighing from the talkativeness of the man.

But, also worth it if he could see those anticipated beams of yours as you stood beside him.

The latter gave out a loud sigh, seeming to be in his head space as he talked his thoughts out loud, "---I remember how Gisela cooks Flamiche for me whenever I go home from me' hunt! Though, that woman seldom does it anymore considering how Bridgely gets her attention a lots!"

Geralt gave him that daunting smile of his; wanting to tell the man to just butcher the heck out of the chickens already as he wanted to get it over with. You gave Cuthbert a wide smile, oblivious of Geralt's taunting gaze back at the man. He suppressed a laugh and nodded to himself; quickly running off to Geralt's wishes.

As the chicken was being slaughtered across the fence, Geralt was thoroughly unaware that you were already sniffing and crying because it was all out in the open and you could see how it was being killed. He watched you look over the fence and inspect Cuthbert cutting its head off and it made you shriek, warm tears falling on the sides of your face while watching how much pity you've given to the chicken.

Geralt did a double-take, eyeing you and where you were staring at and saw how you were crying over a chicken being slaughtered. He wanted to laugh because of how you were being sad over it. However, he decided against so as to not offend you when you were just pouring your heart out in this one.

"I thought...you wanted chickens?" the witcher pondered, leaning away from the fence and facing you instead with that amused glint in his eyes.

You've sniffed hard, patting your nose with his clothes that you were wearing from; the snot wanting to come out of its cave. You gazed up at him; eyes damp and reddish from the cries. "I did, Geralt! But not for it to be killed like this!" you hiccuped from all the bawling that has happened, "---It was better to be bought in a supermarket!"

The way you cry always made a pinch inside Geralt's heart. A kind where he would try and do everything to make it stop because you were annoying but also irresistible.

His lips lifted in a slight beam, looking around the forest before peering down at your sobbing thyself. "There, there," surprisingly, Geralt cooed before you; stopping your weeps short as you gaped at the tall witcher. His chiseled face warped in clear softness and mirth, "---for a bountiful feast requires death in exchange for us to be sated,"

The amazing color of his eyes gleamed more under the sun. You couldn't help but outstare back at him with that stupefied look of utter adoration. You snapped out of your daydream when he was waiting for a witty retort but you've loudly cleared your throat; the heat travelling to your neck. Before it can even reach your face, you turned your head back to look at Cuthbert who was now grinning back at you; holding the headless chicken up for you to see. Its blood dripping down the ground as he mouthed a 'what do you think?' back at you and Geralt to tell you if the size of the chicken was a-okay.

Your face quickly morphed into a wince, another mourn about to come to light when you've felt a warm hand on your shoulder; shooting lightning to your spine as you jumped from the physical touch. Geralt gently turned your body around; away from the panorama of chicken slaughter. The way his lips lifting in a small, soft smile never leaving yet. "Don't look at it,"

A huff was sent to the latter, "I can't! It's making noise!"

"Then cover your ears," Geralt's brow raised in sarcasm. Though, those playful sparkle never dying down. You narrowed your eyes back at him, an annoyed crease of your forehead as you explained and raised your hands back at him. It looked dull and definitely freezing, "But, my hands are shaking from the cold!"

Geralt studied you from head to foot, noting the lack of clothes you were wearing. The smile you've grown to love fell as he sighed, looking away for a moment before a tiresome gaze of his eyes was sent to you. He held onto the string of his jet black hooded cape, unlatching it around his neck as you stared up at him in utmost curiosity.

The softness of his cape fell around your shoulders like a furnace hugging your body; better yet the soul that needed a hug after all you've experienced since the first time you've been in their world. You could feel your heart warming at the gesture of Geralt giving you his dramatic cape; even growing hotter when he was tethering the tie together; intently staring down at your face and feeling his thick, calloused fingers inches before your neck.

Maybe, an egg was worthy of using your face as a frying pan right now.

You consciously looked away from the heat of his stare. Geralt tightened the tie around your neck as you've felt the heaviness of his cape over your shoulders. He drew he fingers away from your neck, slanting his head as he never cut the gaze he had; rather than you who'd looked away because you were...blushing.

"Better?" His voice graveled, a small beam carving his face. You've reluctantly gawked back at him, giving him a reserved nod. The way you were acting looked entirely stupid, your eyes looking like those googly ones used as stickers back in your desk as you tried avoiding the intensity of his stare. You bit the insides of your cheeks, deciding to leave the exhilaration out in the back as you had the courage to look at him, "Better!---Never better, Ge-Geralt!" Regardless of the brave act, you embarrassingly stammered and cited his name wrongly with a shameful 'J', "I mean, Geralt. Geralt with a G!" you back paddled in an instant, scratching your temples as you avoided his eyes and tried to fan your face.

The witcher looked askance, he could hear your heart beat running miles after miles. Geralt pondered why and what was making it pump fast when you weren't even having your panic attacks.

He crossed his hefty arms, looking at you skeptically but with a stupefying smile on his face, "Are you going to stop being a bairn now?"

You initially stopped fanning your face, narrowing your eyes back at him; completely confused, "What's a bairn?" he sighed and glanced at the sky, shaking his head with a beam that fell as quick as you've seen it when Geralt heard Cuthbert walking to where you were and glanced at the acquaintance.

The dead chicken was tied close to the witcher's bag located on the hip of his horse. You were busy staring at the four pieces of aftershafted chickens dangling on Roach's side with that sympathetic glaze of your eyes but actually talking at the back of your mind that its death would be worth it because you cook well and he'll taste good.

Cuthbert scrutinized your nodding form. A strange expression written on his face that tells that he was seeing the oddity that you were nodding at the chickens like you were talking to them.

The animal butcher was running his blabber mouth about how his chickens were also missing every other day. Sometimes his pigs or goats that made Geralt narrow his eyes from his share of message; his nose slightly scrunching from the admission of Cuthbert with his missing animals.

He didn't need to know that some were kind of caught by Geralt's hands. Maybe at least ten chickens, three pigs and two goats. Even so, slaughtered by the witcher himself.

The sneaky witcher couldn't catch a chicken as of the moment because he always does it at night. Catching a chicken from other people's fence in the morning can be risky and definitely tricky.

"About...the sorceress," Geralt trailed off, grabbing Cuthbert's attention away from you before he could even think you didn't belong to their world and guessed about his stealing escapades. He spun his head to look at Geralt, thoroughly distracted from how he called him out, "---you still hangin' onto that sorceress you had, witcher?"

"No...It's....kind of complicated," the latter speculated with a shake of his head.

Cuthbert nodded in understanding, scratching the nape of his neck as he seem to ponder, "The tittle-tattles around the village says that the sorceress is in a burgh called 'crow's perch' in the east of Vizima," pause. "It's a long journey out there! Lots'a beasts to encounter before it!" he roughly warned.

The Witcher only hummed in response; deep in thought as he calculated how long will it take to get there after a week when he was done with any favors for the villagers of Kaedwan and for some of his options on how to get you home.

His first choice was the Djinn. Now, he just needed to find one. Again. But, not for the sole purpose of asking peace and a long nap but to help you.

Geralt fished out the black pouch he kept on his sides, reaching out to give it to Cuthbert across the fence. The animal butcher shook his head to decline the money, "No, I don't need yer' coins." he simply admitted with a scoff, "You've helped us a lot; for me to be accepting some kind of repayment from the white wolf himself---,"

"----You deserve a thank you for all your help, Witcher." Cuthbert continued with a grateful tone.

Thus, this was the first time that he'd been acknowledged by his help in slaying monsters and terrifying creatures. The man himself didn't know how pleasing it was to hear those words from a mere human and from a person he'd help back in the years. Even so, seeing those smiles you've given him when you were excited to cook the damn chicken didn't seem so satisfying and delightful to look at; until now..

MORE FLUFF ON CHAPTER 4.1! Heehee! THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE, TATER TOTS! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES GERALT CALLING Y/N, MIDGET? 

Taglist: @alyxkbrl​ @himarisolace​ @barkingbullfrog​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug​ @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @missjenniferb (I couldn’t tag you AGAIN bud! A different blog was popping out of the recommendation and it wasn’t your blog. Though, I’ll try again on the next update! Don’t worry! Tumblr is being DUMBLR RN. I’M MAD) @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 34

Everything from fireworks to Fourier transforms, because why the hell not. Oh and Mat is there. (Or is he?)

Chapter 34: Legends

Oh it’s Mat.

I have very little enthusiasm for Mat, especially this book’s Mat, but at the same time maybe it’s good to have a chapter that isn’t guaranteed to ruin me, just for a change of pace and a chance to catch my breath and regrow my limited supply of emotions.

Occasionally, the wind would blow, and a small sprinkle of dead pine needles would shake free from the boughs above

I see what you’re doing there, with your wind associated with death and release.

Mat’s clearly still a little shaken by Hinderstap, and is not particularly keen to go running into this next town. Can’t say I blame him.

This time he would plan and he would be ready. He nodded to himself in satisfaction.

Yeah, no, still not getting the cadence right here. It’s too…deliberately set up to be funny. Exaggerated. It’s like he’s being written as a caricature of himself.

Apparently it’s a woman who’s looking for him…I thought the pictures of him and Perrin were linked to Moridin’s directive to kill them – we’ve seen at least one attempt on each of them since then – but this sounds like someone who just wants to find him. Who, though? It doesn’t seem like it could be Tuon, and most of the other characters are tied up elsewhere, and none have recently mentioned trying to find Mat.

And it would probably be more efficient to just…read and find out than to try to list out all of the named female characters in the series thus far and cross-reference them against Mat’s story to figure out why they might be looking for him, wouldn’t it? I’ll leave the listing of ladies to Rand.

We’re getting fireworks as signal flares again, and I do have to applaud the ingenuity of the charactesr in this series. So far we’ve got fireworks used as: a distraction, entertainment, currency, battering ram, therapy, weapon, communication device. Have I missed anything?

Also, the red-for-danger, green-for-all-clear system brings another question to mind that maybe someone out there has an answer to: why do we continue to rely so heavily on red/green for important signalling distinctions (port/starboard, stop/go – things you really don’t want to mix up) when red-green is the most common spectrum of colourblindness?

I suppose the choice of colours predated any solid statistics on things like rates of colourblindness, and boats have the whole whistle system as well, and traffic lights have position as well as colour, but still.

Maybe it’s a chemistry thing? If red and green are the easiest colours to make in a fire or lamp or flare or light, it would make sense that those would have become the colours used for signalling when coloured lights were first used in such a way, and then it’s the kind of thing that would stick. So maybe lithium/strontium/barium/copper were more readily available, or happened to be used/discovered as colourants first?

And that was a tangent.

Meanwhile, Mat’s pulling a whole Argo here, creating false identities for the people he’s sending into the town. Okay, a reverse Argo, maybe, as that was exfiltration and this is infiltration but shhh. (Great movie, by the way, if you’ve not seen it – one of those ‘stranger than fiction’ true stories).

“Wait, Mat,” Mandevwin said, scratching his face near his eye patch. “I’m to be an apprentice gleeman? I’m not certain my voice is suited to fine signing. You’ve heard me, I warrant. And with only one eye, I doubt I’ll fare well at juggling.”

So I think by now we all know my thoughts on what ‘give up half the light of the world’ means, what with Mat being as Odin as it’s possible to be this side of actual Norse mythology…and yeah that doesn’t bode well for his juggling and knife-throwing skills, does it? Now I wonder if those skills were given to him intentionally not just as a fitting trait for a character of his archetype but to twist the knife a little in that sacrifice. Like Rand’s skill with the sword and then the loss of his hand.

(Also his skill at being a person and the eventual loss of his sanity, but we’ll just leave that one alone for the moment.)

“Aren’t I a little old to be an apprentice, though?”

“Nonsense,” Mat said. “You’re young at heart, and since you never married – the only woman you ever loved ran away with the tanner’s son – Thom’s arrival offered you an opportunity to start fresh.”

“But I don’t want to leave my great-aunt,” Mandevwin protested. “She’s cared for me since I was a child! It’s not honest of a man to abandon an elderly woman just because she gets a little confused.”

“There is no great-aunt,” Mat said with exasperation. “This is just a legend, a story to go with your false name.”

The thing is, if you take it completely out of context – as in, out of the Wheel of Time completely – there’s nothing particularly wrong with this exchange. It’s not the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life, but it’s entertaining and a fun sort of ‘yes and’ game between characters. It builds a sense of their relationship, adds a little bit of depth to Mandevwin, presents Mat as creative and a little more fond of stories than he might admit while being a general…

But you have to completely dissociate it from the actual characters for it to work. It’s an alright scene, if it’s not about Matrim Cauthon in The Wheel of Time. If you read it as being from a different story entirely, with characters that just happen to have these names.

And that’s pretty much the problem with Mat. Other characters may see their lexicon shift a bit, or their tendency to externalise their thoughts a little more, but Mat’s been replaced with another character entirely.

I mean, so has Rand, but that’s his own damn fault.

“Too late,” Mat said, rifling through a stack on his desk, searching out a cluster of five pages covered in scrawled handwriting. “You can’t change now. I spent half the night working on your story. It’s the best out of the lot.”

I could almost give the rest a pass, because Mat coming up with false identities that make a fine story but will probably end up falling apart is not too far out of character, even if the conversation felt nothing like him – it’s not unlike what he did with himself, Egeanin, Tuon, and the others when they ran away with Luca’s show, after all – but Mat spending half a night writing up stories for each of them? I can’t make that fit.

“Are you sure we’re not taking this a little too far, lad?” Thom asked.

I think it’s meant to be a little out of character, as a way of showing how on edge he is. The fact that Thom comments on it serves as a narrative cue that this is intentionally off. But it’s too far and not quite in the right direction, so instead of helping us understand where Mat’s head is right now, it’s just…weird.

“I’m tired of walking into traps unprepared. I plan to take command of my own destiny, stop running from problem to problem. It’s time to be in charge.”

And the fact that Mat is so off in this book makes it hard for me to say anything about his actual story or character, because I don’t completely…trust any of it enough. So on the one hand I want to unpack this line, because there’s a lot there in terms of Mat’s own character arc, and his struggle between denial and acceptance of his role, and between luck and improvisation vs planning and strategy. But on the other hand, it’s hard to find any real motivation to do that when I feel like this isn’t really Mat. If that makes sense.

So actually, I’m going to do something a little out of character myself, here. I’m going to read the rest of this scene before commenting further, just to see if I can get a better sense of what’s going on from the general shape of it than from following it line-by-line.

Okay. Mat talks Talmanes through his own constructed backstory, then goes and inspects the camp and thinks about the Band and their current situation and also crossbows, and now he’s visiting Aludra so I’ll stop here for a moment before we get into that.

The bit with the crossbows comes closer to feeling like Mat again. The rest…still feels like it belongs in another book entirely. Also, weird how Mat knows two guys named Talmanes, right?

There are two main issues at play here, as far as I can figure it. The first is the issue of perception and distortion, which, broken down, looks something like this:

Jordan creates the character of Mat in his head

Jordan commits that character to writing. There’s distortion and filtering even here, because words are limiting and no writer isthatgood, and some information will not be conveyed or will be conveyed only obliquely, other things given more prominence, etc. Just like a photo is never going to be a perfect representation of an actual person, because you only have two dimensions to show something that exists in three.

Sanderson (or any reader) reads Mat. Filtering happens here because of how brains work; we’re not perfect machines that can take in every piece of information and give it equal and unbiased weight. Different things will register differently with different readers based on everything about them.

Sanderson (or any reader) creates a mental image/construct/version of Mat, adding the new information to it as it comes along – like making a sculpture from a drawing of a photo. This again is prone to filtering and distortion because of what information registers more or less strongly, how it’s interpreted, and all kinds of other factors.

Sanderson commits his version of Mat to writing, imperfectly portraying his own mental image of the character.

The reader reads Sanderson’s version of Mat, repeating steps 3 and 4.

Obviously this would apply to any character, not just Mat, but I think with Mat it’s an issue of a stronger filter/bias at steps 3, 4, and 5 but especially 4.

It’s something you see a lot in fanfiction, actually, especially in fanfiction centred on characters that can be strongly linked to a specific archetype. If you have the mental fortitude for it, check out some Avengers fanfiction sometime, and you’ll see a huge variation in how these iconic, archetypal characters are portrayed. Because they go through these processing and reconstruction steps, and so much of that is affected by each person’s own experience with or existing idea of the shape of those archetypes.

So we get into things like confirmation bias – if you have a pre-existing ‘outline’ of a character in your head based on the first impression they give, you’re going to end up paying more attention to things that fit into that outline, and ignoring things that don’t. And with these kinds of archetypal characters, it’s hard not to have that pre-existing outline unless you’ve been literally living under a rock for your entire life. In which case you have bigger problems. Also, I think with those sorts of characters, because you have this pre-existing model, your brain is more likely to essentially take short-cuts and go ‘yep, I know what this is’, whereas with characters that aren’t so easily categorised or immediately identified, you’ll rely more on the information directly presented, rather than on that outline.  

That affects what you pay attention or give weight to, and that affects how you reconstruct the character in your mind, which creates an ongoing feedback loop but/and also affects how you portray the character yourself, should you ever do so.

It’s a process akin to…okay the first analogy that comes to mind is a Fourier transform followed by the addition of noise or any kind of alteration to any of the resulting frequencies, followed by an inverse Fourier transform to bring you back to something that no longer perfectly resembles the original. Because I’m a fucking nerd. In case that wasn’t already abundantly clear from everything about me.

But perhaps a more broadly accessible analogy is the game of taking a word or phrase or song or whatever and sticking it through a few different languages on google translate, and then translating the result back to the starting language and laughing and how ridiculous it ends up sounding.

(On a tangent from my tangent, I think this is part of why outsider POV can be so interesting. It’s a chance to watch this entire process take place in the minds of other characters, who essentially each create their own version of the character in question.)  

Anyway, I think this is the first issue: Sanderson reads Mat, his brain goes ‘oh look, a trickster/rogue! I know what that is!’, which colours how he continues to read and interpret Mat, which shapes the Mat that lives in his head, which shapes how he then writes Mat.

The second problem, I think, is that Sanderson is somewhat aware that he’s doing this. Why is that a problem, you ask? Because it means that, while he’s not writing Jordan’s version of Mat, he also avoids committing completely to his own style of portraying a trickster/rogue. Which leaves us stranded somewhere in the middle, and you can feel the uncertainty and discomfort and tension between what he thinks he’s meant to be doing and what he wants to do. And Mat’s not the kind of character you can commit to halfway.

Okay, picking back up in a more normal fashion, hopefully (unless this next scene goes the way of the first).

Aludra’s making fireworks, Egeanin’s helping, and Mat’s trying to remember that he is a married man now.

Mat still had trouble figuring out what to call the woman. She wanted to be known as Leilwin, and sometimes he thought of her like that. It was foolish to go about changing your name just because someone said you had to

I like this, because it can be extended to a broader commentary on changing not just your name but your identity based on who or what you believe you must be. Tuon has the power, in the society in which Egeanin was raised, the society that shaped her mindset and identity and sense of self, to command that she take a new name and a new place. And that sticks even when – and perhaps even because – she chooses to remove herself from Seanchan society. She is a different person now, and the name is part cause and part symbol of that.

But it has a broader meaning here, for Mat himself and for Rand and for Egwene and for so many others. It’s the question of accepting a name or an identity that is given – the Dragon Reborn or the trickster or the Prince of the Ravens or son of battles or Amyrlin or wolf king. Prophecy and Pattern demand those roles be filled, and ask that they fill those roles, and so do they change to do so? Do they take on those names and fit themselves to those outlines, and if so is it by choice or by force?

Seems like all is not well between Mat and Aludra these days. Another word of advice: try to avoid pissing off the person who makes your explosives.

Honestly, I thought I was unqualified to give dating advice. But Mat and Gawyn and honestly the whole lot of them are really making me question that.

Then again, I thought Aludra and Mat were fine after Aludra made it clear she wasn’t interested in pursuing or being pursued by Mat once he began courting Tuon. Has he done something since then to irritate her?

“Are these the plans for the dragons?” Mat asked eagerly. He knelt down on one knee to inspect the sheets, without touching them. Aludra could be particular about that kind of thing.

“Yes.” She was still tapping with her hammer. She eyed him, looking just faintly uncomfortable. Because of Tuon, he suspected.

“And these figures?” Mat tried to ignore the awkwardness.

“Supply requirements,” she said.

So one thing I’ve been thinking about, and which this exchange highlights rather well, is why Mat seems to be the one so closely linked with and arguably credited with the weaponization of gunpowder, when in reality it’s pretty much all Aludra.

I’m curious as to whether this is just me, or whether it’s true of fandom as a whole – that gunpowder is linked and credited to Mat. Because narratively it seems like it’s set up that way – he plays with the fireworks Aludra gives him in TDR, and then there’s Egwene dreaming of him reaching up to grab a firework from the sky and knowing this will change the world, and dreaming again of him bowling with human lives as the bowling pins and knowing it’s linked to the same thing. And he’s the one who plans the battles in which Aludra’s explosives are used.

But he doesn’t actually come up with any of the ideas – he just incorporates them. She already has plans for her ‘dragons’ when she sets him the bellfounder riddle. She’s already thought through how her fireworks can be altered for various uses in battle. She doesn’t have the funding or resources, but she has the rest of it.

So I wonder if my brain has just taken the shortcut here of crediting Mat with the advent of gunpowder weaponry because he’s a far more major character, he’s the battle strategist, and he’s given all these pieces of foreshadowing and prophecy that link him to this innovation.

I also wonder if some element of it is unconscious gender bias on my part – that while I love the fact that it’s a woman who invents this, and that there’s no downplaying of the rather dark and destructive potential this has to change battle and war and the entire world, some part of me finds it much easier to associate that with a man than a woman. Something to think about, I suppose.

How would the common people react if they knew that the majestic nightflowers were just paper, powder, and – of all things – bat dung? No wonder Illuminators were so secretive with their craft. It wasn’t just about preventing competition. The more you knew about the process, the less wondrous and more ordinary it became.

There’s a great deal of truth to that.

And that, actually, seems like a very in-character observation for Mat to make. It’s something a trickster and a gambler and a strategist or general would understand: the value of knowing how things work, but also the value of misdirection and sleight-of-hand.

It’s a fitting realisation as well in a series that deals so much with the nature of information and knowledge and perception, and the interplay between them.

“This is a lot of material,” Mat said.

“A miracle, that is what you asked me for, Matrim Cauthon,” she replied, handing her nightflower to Leilwin and picking up her writing board. She made some notations on the sheet strapped to the front. “That miracle, I have broken down into a list of ingredients. A feat which is in itself miraculous, yes? Do not complain of the heat when someone offers you the sun in the palm of her hands.”

Hard to argue with that.

I do like Aludra – I always have; she’s a fun character. And a more complex one than her relatively little screen-time would ordinarily allow. As she has to be, I think; her place in the story but especially in her world is itself complex. Her innovation will change the world, and once unleashed that’s not something you can take back. Introducing gunpowder to a world is a heavy role for an otherwise bit-part character, but she’s written in such a way that it works. I do think that’s part of why the narrative leans on Mat so heavily in that regard, as a way of…offloading some of that weight onto a more central character.

“The Dragon Reborn, he can afford such costs.”

If nothing else, he’ll be relieved to be dealing with high costs in such an ordinary currency, after having had to pay such steep prices in less conventional ones – flesh, soul, sanity…

Maybe Rand could manage costs like these, but Matcertainly couldn’t. He’d have to dice with the queen of Andor herself to find this kind of coin!

I think Elayne would quite enjoy that, actually.

But that was Rand’s problem.

Honestly, Rand has well over 99 problems and I’m not even sure this makes the list. But okay.

Burn him, he’d better appreciate what Mat was going through for him.

At this point it’s all he can do to appreciate things like the fact that Nynaeve wants him to live, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

“How many bellfounders are you going to need for this project?”

“Every one you can get,” Aludra said curtly. “Is that not what you promised me? Every bellfounder from Andor to Tear.”

“I suppose,” Mat said. He hadn’t actually expected her to take him literally on that. “What about copper and tin? You don’t have an estimate of those.”

“I need all of it.”

Okay, this is genuinely funny. Most of the credit goes to Aludra, who is written better than pretty much anyone else in Mat’s chapters so far this book. But this is great.

But then you stop laughing, and it becomes very much a sign of how non-trivial the invention of cannons and weaponised explosives is. This is not a small endeavour. This is not something that will be used in one battle and can then either catch on or fade back into obscurity. This is huge, and world-changing. A larger scale than Mat dreamed of and now he’s having to face the full reality of it. It’s one thing to see this in battle and know theoretically that this is going to change everything. It’s another thing to see it written out in figures that demand all the copper and tin that can be found on an entire continent.

Their eyes met for a moment, and Mat realised he’d probably been too curt with her. Maybe he was uncomfortable around her. A little. They’d been getting close before Tuon. And was that pain, hidden in Aludra’s eyes?

“I’m sorry, Aludra,” he said. “I shouldn’t have talked like that.”

She shrugged.

He took a deep breath. “Look, I know that…well, it’s odd how Tuon—”

She waved a hand, cutting him off. “It is nothing. I have my dragons. You have brought me the chance to create them. Other matters are no longer of concern. I wish you happiness.”

I guess I’m just confused because I thought we already did this, with Aludra telling Mat that she wouldn’t tell him the secrets that would make him blush and that she had no plans of being juggled. I sort of figured that was it. But I also thought it was just a bit of fun for both of them, while this would suggest that there were maybe a few feelings involved – just one or two, mind you – which I suppose would account for some continued awkwardness.

That and the fact that Mat has no idea how he’s supposed to behave around women now that he’s married.

Nice of him to offer a sincere apology, though. I’ll give him that.

“But it will take much time, and yet you refuse to tell me when the dragons will be needed.”

“Can’t tell you things I don’t know myself, Aludra,” Mat said, glancing northward. He felt a strange tugging, as if someone had hooked a fisherman’s line about his insides and was softly – but insistently – pulling on it. Rand, is that you, burn you? Colours swirled. “Soon, Aludra,” he found himself saying. “Time is short. So short.”

The storm is coming, and we must go north.

Mat tells Egeanin that he doesn’t want her giving the secret of these weapons to the Seanchan, but…yeah, this isn’t something you’re going to be able to control, once they’re used. And I think he still doesn’t quite see that, doesn’t quite grasp the magnitude of what this is. Which isn’t all that surprising, because it’s the sort of thing that’s almost too much to wrap your head around until it happens. It’s like trying to imagine the ubiquity and myriad uses of smartphones when you’ve only just figured out how to harness lightning.

“By the way, I nearly forgot. Do you know anything about crossbows, Aludra?”

Ha. This is such a classic ‘I know nothing about your field/profession, so I figure you do all of it?’ It’s like when my grandmother asks me to predict the weather because that’s definitely covered under ‘geology’…

She’s the closest thing to an engineer he has, so sure, why not? And your paediatrician could probably perform a bit of neurosurgery on the side, right?

Now, if you wanted to modify a handheld projectile weapon so that its projectiles exploded…

Oh hey it’s the mystery person who’s been looking for him. OH. An Aes Sedai.

OH HEY IT’S VERIN.

Haven’t seen her since she left Rand with that letter and went off to conduct her own mysterious business. What have you been up to, Verin?

How long ago was that, in this timeline? Rand’s apparently a head of the rest of them now, if he saw Mat in Caemlyn, so maybe this isn’t actually all that long after Verin left Rand in KoD.

But why did she leave and why is she here and hi, Verin!

Well that solves one problem for him: she can Travel, so he can get to Caemlyn in time for supper. Time to move the plot along.

He hesitated, eyeing Verin, forcing himself to contain his excitement. There was always a cost when Aes Sedai were involved.

“What do you want?” he asked.

GOOD. QUESTION. Yes, Verin, tell us. What exactly do you want?

She just says she’s been held here because of his own ta’veren effect. Which…is certainly possible, but almost as certainly not the entire truth.

Next (TGS ch 35) Previous (TGS ch 33)

[insomniac-dot-ink]

The Peacock Prince pt 2

genre: fantasy, fairytale, mlm

words: 3k

Summary: A young man is banished to a vast garden to spend the rest of his days, cursed to grow peacock feathers from his skin and walk the grounds.

A wandering soldier is charged by the neighboring town to fetch three feathers: one for health, two for luck, and three for wealth. Unfortunately, plucking the feathers off a reluctant peacock-boy is not as easy as it sounds.

A love story of avian dimensions in 4 parts

PART 1 ~ PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4

PART 2

Two for Luck

Daven looked into the sallow face of a woman well into her 80s, deep worry lines and valleys painted across her face, wrinkles that stretched in all directions and mapped her face like a geographic print of the past and future.

She smiles up with a guileless toothless grin, “but you got the other one so easily.” Daven’s shoulder slump and he has a bad feeling about this, “I fought several wild animals… And it was mostly luck I found the boy in the first place.” She shook her withered head, “I have a good feeling about you.” Then why is your town blackmailing me? He doesn’t bring that up.

“The one feather was very long,” he tries to say with his hands stuffed into his pockets. A young woman in an apron and long dark blue dress nodded. She had honey curls and a face that was round and sharp in all the right angles.

“And we ground it up and fed it to the sick,” she smiled prettily, “It was a heroic deed. A good one, all five were up and walking today.”

Daven opened and closed his mouth uselessly, “don’t mention it?” He tries instead with a slight wince.

“But now,” her face falls, “the fields are thirsty. Dry. You’ve seen them young soldier, they grow sick as well.” Daven felt like he was being backed into a corner, “it was a rough harvest, sure.”

Her eyes get large, like puppy dog eyes or black holes, old mother Henri makes a deep rumbling sound in her throat. “Two,” she says with a rough rasp, “for luck.” Daven frowns decidedly, “why… two?” Both the women tut at him, “two is the second most powerful number.” Mary Lee informs him with her hip jutted out. “It will be enough.” Daven gives a deep heaving sigh, “I can’t keep ripping feathers out of this guy. He’s got some dark magic on him, who knows what will happen if I piss him off again…” He trails off as he realizes he wasn’t making any headway.

The woman just smiles placidly again, “two for luck.”

Her daughter nods, “we can grind them up and sprinkle them over the soil.” Her eyes go soft again, “it would be another hero's deed.” Daven’s shoulders fall and he accepts the inevitable, “isn’t there…?” He takes a deep breath, “I mean, someone else must be able,” he struggles for the words.

“It’s you,” the old woman nods, “you were brought to us for a reason.” Was that reason a directionless horse?

He pushes his hair back and sighs, “Okay,” he looks between the village representatives, “I mean… I did it once, right?” He laughs weakly and watches the women share a small smile.

He grimaces slightly, Mary Lee reaches over and wraps something up for him. “Here,” she passes it to him, “for your troubles.” He holds a loaf of bread and feels suddenly more like an errand boy than any sort of soldier. But they were still looking at him Like That, so he has nothing else to but turn around and start walking.

The Garden was said to spread from the lakes of Dev all the way to the outer coast. Daven feels like he’s looking for trouble and eventually going to fall smack dab in the middle of it.

-----------------------------------

“Here birdie, birdie, birdie,” Daven throws some bread on the ground, “I have some good news for you.”

He throws the bread crumbs again, not without a sense of irony of course. “It’s only a little exchange.” He says loudly and wanders into the seven cherubs square (as he was calling it). He goes up to the great oak tree and rustles some of the branches with his sword before coming up empty.

“Here birdie!” He sings and tosses the breadcrumbs in the air again, some of them land in a puddle and start dissolving. He whistles and makes a kissy face at the trees. “I’ve got a treat for you.”

It’s quiet with the exception of distant sound of bird calls and the wind whipping through the numerous corridors of the garden. His skin crawls as it always did in this place, Daven had looked for the Hunter he found the first time just outside the walls, but hadn’t had any luck this time.

“Ellis!” He tries again, “I have both shoes and a better attitude for you!”

He hears nothing, keeping his eyes on the nearest wall to make sure it doesn’t grow spikes, “and more money, and hey, I finally thought of something you can do with it!”

He takes a left turn back into the endless open-air halls and starts whistling again, “here birdie, birdie.”

Daven is internally groaning and considering his chances of leaving the province of Tefle and running as far away as he possibly can. He hears a rustling behind him instead.

He reaches for his sword.

“Do you have a death wish?” Daven pauses as he recognizes the snide voice.

“Ah,” he stands up straight and places his own self-assured smile on, “knew you couldn’t stay away.”

A boy with large ornate feathers fanned out around him was standing on the wall above him, “one step closer and I’ll jump off the other side and you’ll never find me again.” He says coolly as he stands with his hands folded over his chest and stance wide on the wall ledge.

Daven lifts his chin and studies the boy’s sharp, curious features, they were small and crafted, like there was something purposeful or thought-out about them. A small nose with a pointed mouth that curved up or down on a whim it seemed, mapping and connecting all of his features.

Ellis narrows his green eyes, “well?” Daven stood up straight, “I’m not trying the magic words this time.” “Well thank god,” he says slowly, “I would have let you keep walking around here like an idiot you know.”

Daven frowns slightly, “what changed?” Ellis hums and looms over him as he stood on the wall, “bad decision making.” His shadow falls over his face, “and curiosity. You finally thought of something I can do with the money?” He gives an easy grin, “I’m intrigued.” Daven cleared his throat, “yes.” He grins back, “the question is, of course, if gold coins agree with your stomach.” Ellis rolls his eyes spectacularly, “I’m not a dragon.”

“I have bread then.” “Wow, of course,” he tuts, “you’re lucky I’m a forgiving man after that ‘birdie’ nonsense.”

Daven bounces his eyebrows up and down, “I thought you might like that.” He makes a face at him, “ah, am I that easy to read?” He puts a hand out, “if you gave me your feathers readily, for a good cause that is, it’d be a lot less easy.”

He blows a stray strand of white-blonde hair out of his face, “why's that?” Daven puts on a somber expression, “good people don’t get cursed.”

Ellis’s expression pinches, “you’re really winning yourself over with this one,” he seems to go to turn around, “I really don’t know why I bother.” “Wait,” Daven fumbles for his pack, “all in good fun, all in good fun. I have something for you.” “I don’t eat gold coins for God’s sake,” he waves his hand in the air, “but I am considering soldiers and their poor social graces right now.” He bares his shiny white teeth and Daven shakes his head.

“You are a gracious and good Peacock lord, I’m sure.” “Watch it,” the boy says carefully, “180s like that can make one dizzy.” He takes a deep breath in, “alright, so I’m not good at this,” he lifts something out of his pack, “but I do have these.” He unwraps a neat pair of shiny black buckled shoes as he held them up to the light, “they’re flexible so they’ll fit a lot of sizes.”

The boy examines him carefully before clearing his throat, “you really think I need shoes?” Daven frowns slightly, “there’s poison puddles everywhere.” He pauses, “So, yes?” Ellis shakes his head, “you are as sharp as a blunt sword I see,” the boy kicks the top of the wall lightly, “And I don’t want your bribery.”

“It’s for a good cause!” He hears himself almost whine, “the village people’s crops are dying.”

“Oh no,” Ellis places his hands on his cheeks, “not the village people’s crops.” Daven’s narrows his eyes, the sun frames the feathers of the strange boy, “spoken like a true peacock prince.” “Look,” Ellis dances his hand through the air, “there’s always going to be villages whose crops don’t come in right. And little old ladies who need wishes and young lads who steal your feathers for lasses they want to bang.” He takes a deep breath, “I’ve been here a long time little soldier. And there’s always more people who need things.” Daven almost went to clap sardonically, “Look, I’m not trying to appeal to your… humanity,” he says the word carefully, rolling it around and feeling out the syllables. “But there must be something you want.” Ellis looks him up and down, “you’re pretty cocky for a common soldier.” Daven opens his mouth with a stubborn jut of his jaw, “I’m not entirely common.” And I’m no longer entirely a soldier.

“Good then,” Ellis sprouts a rough smile that prickled across Daven’s skin like sandpaper, a manic energy bursting from it like a flood over a levy system. “Take your sword off.”

Daven hesitates for a long second, he holds his iron green gaze for a long moment, “and you’ll give me a feather? Or… I, uh,” he hesitates, “I need two this time.” Ellis gives a deep sigh, “I know.”

Daven reaches for his sword, holding it tentatively before lifting it carefully out of it’s hilt and holding it up. “Where do you want it?” Ellis cocks his head to the side, “place it at my feet.”

Daven scoffs slightly, “of course.” He approaches carefully, slowly, gently, placing the beat-up, aged thing just below his bare feet.

“Was it your father’s or anything?” Ellis asks slowly and Daven hums for a second.

“Yes,” he says, keeping hard eye contact with him.

Ellis’s face spreads wide open again, “liar.” He shrugs, “alright, it’s standard military issue. But does that really matter?” “It doesn’t,” Ellis leans forward, posing like a tense house cat on the brink of springing. He drops down to the ground and deftly picks the sword up, “I just wanted to know more about you.” “My name is Daven Porter,” he says carefully, “I’m 22, I have two sisters and a mum. I like pears and have never seen the ocean. And,” he pauses gently for a moment, “I would like two feathers. Please.”

Ellis was still observing him, balancing the sword in his hand and whooshing it just above his head, he gives him a cool look. “The rest of it.” Daven screws up his face, “the rest of what? That’s my only sword mate.”

Ellis pouts slightly, “the rest of it. I’ll take your belt first.” Daven’s eyes go wide and his cheeks flare up, “I beg your pardon?” “Your clothes.” He says the words slowly, mouthing around them and putting his hands on his hips, “honestly, it’s like I’m squawking up here instead of speaking.”

Daven might have smiled at that if his face wasn’t falling apart like cloth scraps a off a beggar, “you can’t be serious.” Ellis shrugs, “it’s only fair. You want to make me bare, it’s only fair you do the same first.” Daven makes a face at him and takes a step backward, “And then what?” He scowls, “you put on my trousers? Yours look fine.” “No,” he says slowly, “then I make a nice little fire and you walk home.”

Daven put his hands on his hips, “I’m not walking home naked. Who are you?” He laughs, “no feathers then!”

Daven takes a deep huffy breath, he turns around and takes a few angry steps, and then he turns back around again. He knew what would happen if he didn’t return with the feathers.

He groans and buries his face in his hands, “this is mad.” Ellis chuckles and sings, “An eye for an eye sir.” He scowls up between his fingers, “It’s not the same.” Ellis shrugs, “Well, looks like you’re going home empty h-”

“Alright, alright,” He takes one heavy breath that weighed him down like stones in a river bed, he hunches over slightly, “at least turn around.” He hears a sharp laugh, he imagined his white-blonde curls bouncing. “You watch my feathers fall out and stand there and gawk. It’s only fair.” “Ugh,” he reaches for his pants, “this is why you’re trapped here.” He says as starts unbuckling, “good people don’t get cursed.” Ellis waves a hand through the air, “but they do get naked, chop chop.” “You’re enjoying this,” He fumbles slightly with his belt loop and the end of his shirt for a long moment.

“It’s like drinking nectar,” he says with a smile, “I may even give you the feathers.” Daven scowls at him, “I will burn this place down if-” “It’s just a little embarrassment,” he tuts, “and feel free to try. I’d gladly watch this place go up in flames too.” He says the last part with hints of bright yellow bitterness around the edges.

Daven refuses to look away as he yanks his shirt over his head and then both of his socks off one by one. “Are you even going to wear these shoes?” He says as he puts the two pairs next to each other.

“Absolutely not,” the boy winks, “birdie.” “You’re the bird,” he grumbles, “and the bastard.” “I’ll take it,” he wags a finger in the air, “and feel free to put on a show for the last bit. A had a lass do the same for me in a tavern and it honestly almost got three feathers out of me.” Daven makes a face at him, “you go to taverns?” He squints, “Like that?” Ellis’s features become somehow more edged and perplexing, “No. Before I was like this. But I would still have given her anything if she asked, feathers included.” Daven rolled his eyes, “you’re impossible.” “And you’re not naked!” He lears over him, “What upsetting evident facts.” He makes a face at him, “You’re going to die alone.” “Or in a poison puddle, either one, I won’t complain.” Daven doesn’t know how to respond to that so he reaches for his pants, he takes a deep breath in and tries not to show the stiffness in his movements and tension building in his shoulders. Make it natural. Normal.

He can’t help it, he looks down at his feet as he wrenches his trousers down. Ellis at least has the decency not to laugh or jeer or some other bastardly behavior, he just nods. Daven feels the cool breeze whisk between his thighs and thinks a series of uncharitable thoughts toward this garden, all birds, and all bird boys.

He crosses his arms over his chest and widens his stance, “happy?” Ellis just shrugs and looks at his nails, “not really?” “Ugh,” he takes a series of deep breaths in through his nose, he thrusts his hand out, “I did what you asked.”

Ellis gives him a cool look, “sure.” Daven takes a dangerous step forward, “Look, I’d be unsurprised if you’re not a man of your word, but this whole village’s crop is dying and they expect me to-”

“Yes, yes,” Ellis clapped his hands, “give me a second.” He says the last part under his breath, Daven just opens and closes his mouth like an angry snapping turtle.

“I’ll give you ten.” He put his fingers up and started to count, “Ten seconds.” He says loudly, “One… two…” Ellis rolled his eyes, “I’m not as scared of a man with his trousers down as you might think… but.” He reaches behind him and seems to search around for something on his shoulder blade. He started to pull, “Uh,” he grunts, “There.”

Daven’s eyes go a little wide, Ellis flinched, brow furrowing and expression pinching, body bunching up as he yanks at something. The boy takes a deep breath and holds a single peacock feather out.

Daven just begrudgingly holds up two fingers, “alright. Thank you.” He clears his throat, “for two that is.” He says pointedly, Ellis just shakes his head. “Tell them not to plant these,” Ellis grumbles, eyes still strained and colored with something metallic and heated. He pinches something on his back and yanks. “And to sow the fields earlier in the season for God’s sake.” Daven cocks his head to the side, “Is that your official message?” Ellis gives a crooked smile as he slowly lifts a second feather in his hand, “no. My official message: ooh, look at this strange man’s willy. Please laugh and cheer at your own discretion.”

Daven huffs and continues to not deliberately think about the cool breeze against his backside. “You make this so much harder than it needs to be.” Ellis pushes his curled bangs back and examines him, a placid look on his face, “If only I willingly ripped out my own plumage for anyone that asked.” He tilts his head to the side, “it’s such a shame.” “Okay, okay,” Daven put his hands up, “I get it,” he grits his teeth and puts his hand out, “thank you.”

Ellis considers Daven’s hand for a long moment, a frown line consuming him like a mushroom cloud, ricocheting off taut muscles and frozen joints. He takes one step forward and neatly, tightly lets go of the two long feathers.

If Daven didn’t know any better he would have thought the boy’s hands were shaking. But then he retracts his hands, wipes them off and lifts his chin up. “They also work as aphrodisiacs, burn salves, table centerpieces, and a cure for blindness.” Daven lifts his eyebrows, quickly taking a step back and clutching the feathers to his body, “good to know.” Ellis’s eyes were flicking over him, “so yes, you could also skip town and sell them if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Daven’s shoulders rise, “I wasn’t thinking that.” Or, at least, not right at that second. He scowls and turns around, “if you’d excuse me, I have to go save a village.” He can feel Ellis’s sunburn of a smile blaze across as his back as he turns, “you are easy to read too little soldier.” He waves behind him, “enjoy my sweaty shirt and pants,” He keeps his back completely straight as he looks behind him, “they’re covered in grime. It’ll suit you.” Ellis scoffs, “if you come back I will take more than just your clothes next time Mr. Daven.” “‘Mr’?” He doesn’t turn around as he laughs, “come on now, you’ve seen me naked. No need for the formality.” He swears he hears a full golden laugh after that, just as he turns around the next corner and tries to disappear. He finally gives in and covers himself as he faces the next stretch of garden and the inevitable mess of walking home like this.

He takes steadying breathes and keeps his eyes off the light, soft plumage in his hands. They were warm, warm and thrumming like something was alive in them.

He doesn’t look back as he leaves the garden for the second time.

<====== PART 1   ~~~~~ PART 3=======>

[poppyknitt]

Mischievous Magicians- A JSE Egos Fanfic

Recap: Marvin has returned to the egos, however, he did so recklessly, and is spending his time in the hospital, occasionally drifting into unconsciousness as he waits for his injuries to heal. More recently, however, Jackieboyman’s son, Liam, was finally born, on the eve of the one-year anniversary of Overnightwatch, and they found there was one more baby than expected, who was named Brandon. Meanwhile, Seán finished recording his video for the day, only to find that Merlin, whom is actually just a Marvin, belonging to a different universe, was sitting in his home and enjoying what little of himself he could, since, as it turns out, he has been chasing his world’s Anti, and believes that he came to our universe, looking to destroy it.

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[December 17th]

Seán ran after Merlin, who was happily bouncing around the streets of Brighton, basically showing off his “skills”, which, Seán had a feeling were just being temporarily boosted by his magic.

“Hurry up, Jackaboy! We’re gonna be la-ate!” Merlin taunted him in a sing-songy voice, a big, dopey grin plastered on his face, as Seán finally caught up to him.

“Please don’t call me that.” He wheezed, looking up at the childish magician, who was sitting on an outcropping, much like how Spiderman probably would, “Also, what the hell are we even doing?!”

Merlin’s grin dropped for a moment, as he probably had to think about it, but he smiled softly, and shrugged, making an “I dunno” noise.

Seán facepalmed, “Of course you don’t. What are you trying to do, anyways?”

“Uh... Explore Brighton..? We... don’t exactly live here in my universe...”

“... You don’t..?”

“Nope. Ours, uh, is kinda geographically different..? I-I don’t even know if we have a Brighton. You can probably pretty much forget ‘England’ as a whole.” He paused, putting on a mild poker face, “But now that I think about it, I may actually live in some kind of pocket dimension, which could explain why our Anti resorted to attacking and destroying other universes... Not very easy to destroy a pocket dimension you didn’t make..”

“... I have many questions.”

“That’s understandable.”

“... Did... Did you just... UwU..? In- In real life?!”

“Mayyyybeee...”

“For the love of god, stop making that face.”

Merlin’s dopey grin returned, “Hmmm... Nah. Don’t feel like it.”

The mischievous magic man practically leapt back into action, darting around a corner so quickly that Seán figured it would be useless to try and run after him or make him calm down.

~~

Marvin darted away from this strange world’s version of Seán, his eyes lighting up with pure childish joy as the thrill of running and jumping around Brighton like it were a playground or trampoline kicked in. He didn’t even notice that Seán had stopped following him until he finally landed himself on a lamppost, balancing exactly how Jackie had taught him. He looked around the city, his eyes wide with curiosity and wonder. His attention snapped downwards, as a familiar voice with a thick Scottish accent called to him.

“Hey, what on earth are ya doin’ up there?!” It was none other than Jackie’s friend, Oliver! Or, at least, this world’s version of him. He could tell that this Oliver hadn’t met Marvin quite yet.

“Oh, y’know. Just... Hanging around!” Merlin grinned childishly as he swung down, hanging upside-down from the lamppost now. Oliver snorted in amusement, probably not expecting him to do that.

“What’re you even dressed as?”

“Oh, this isn’t a costume, I’m just a magician.”

“Aye, okay... Guess it kinda makes sense..” He paused, “Oh, where are my manners? I’m Oliver!”

He dropped down, and stood up, “Marv- I mean Merlin.”

Oliver was obviously a bit suspicious now, but he didn’t say anything, “Aye. ‘Sa good name, lad.”

“Yours, too!”

“... You know, you kinda remind me of a good friend of mine. You don’t happen to know an Irish lad by the name of Simon, d’ya?”

“Yep! Dunno if he remembers me, though.”

“Well, that’s easily fixed, lad! I was actually on my way to see him. Why don’t ya come with me?”

“Sure thing! Sounds fun to me!”

~~

Merlin had no clue where they were now. All he could tell from this was that Jackie didn’t live with the other egos anymore in this universe. They were at a small apartment complex, waiting for someone, presumably Jackie, to answer the door.

The doorknob turned, and the door opened, revealing Jackie, whose face lit up when he saw his friend, “Oh! Oliver! I didn’t expect to see you today! ... And... uh... Who..?”

“Aye, this guy calls ‘imself Merlin. Says he was a friend of yours at one point?”

“Uh, h-hey, Simon.” He waved nervously, knowing Jackie could tell what his actual name was.

Jackie put on a smile, and let them in, “Well, no matter! Come on in, you guys.”

Merlin’s face lit up, and he practically hopped into the apartment, “Sweet!”

The three spent an hour or so laughing and having a good time, until Oliver said he had to go home, for obvious reasons he didn’t need to say.Once he left, and Jackie had closed the door behind him, the hero turned slowly to face him, eyes narrowed slightly.

“Who are you? Why do you look like him?!” His tone was... less than favorable.

“Because... I’m him..? But? From another universe..?”

“... Well, that explains the difference in temperament..”

“What?”

“... Nothing.” Jackie paused, “Why are you here, exactly?”

“... Cuz I sorta chased after my world’s Anti when he found out he could leave it..? I think he came here in his most recent expedition...”

“... That’s not good.”

“Yeah, that’s what you Seán said, too.”

“Wait, you’ve spoken to Seán? H-How long have you even been here?!”

“Uh, yeah... I’ve been here a couple of days now... Went to Seán’s place yesterday to try and cool off or something, and, uh, he found me. I didn’t realize your Seán was woken up already...” He started fidgeting nervously again.

“Ah, okay. That’s fine, i guess. Just as long as you don’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Oh! No, no! No, I’m only here to try and help you guys fight my Anti.”

“... Why would we need help anyways?”

“.... Because my Anti isn’t your everyday anti who doesn’t give a shit if his plans are a little last minute. He spends every waking moment plotting his every move, and the only thing to keep him from it in the first place is the rare occasions where we get a new ego. On those occasions, he usually sits back a while, and watches how they act, so he can predict them better.”

“How do you fight him if he knows your every move?!”

Merlin paused, and shrugged, making a bit of a poker face, “I dunno. My jackie doesn’t usually let me fight him.”

“And... You think you can help us fight him... How?”

“Because I know his fighting style better than you. And it was an excuse to get my Jackie to let me leave.”

That last comment got a laugh from the Hero, much to Merlin’s delight.

“God, you’re so childish.” Jackie laughed, putting his hand to his face, “I can see why he’d be so protective of you.”

“Hey, don’t think you can hold me back, old man! I have magic powers!” Merlin joked, a playfully determined look on his face as he pulled a hand back, pretending to wave an imaginary wand in the air, as though he were holding only one end of a pair of nunchucks or something. He almost lost his grin when he started feeling a slight shift in the world around him, and he realized that Jackie hadn’t taken any notice of it. He had a feeling that his Anti was preparing for something big, and he almost regretted trying to befriend the egos of this world. He wanted to save them, but... What if he was already too late..? He tried not to think about it, especially because he knew this world’s jackie had kids, just like his own Jackie did.

“... You okay, Merlin..?” Jackie’s features softened as he looked at the slightly smaller ego.

“... I’m... really worried about what my Anti will do with this world... I... I really like this place... I don’t want it to be destroyed... And..! And not to mention what could happen to you and the other egos from here, if he succeeds..!” He tried his best to keep his voice from breaking. He almost flinched when he detected Jackie hugging him, not expecting that.

“Hey, it’s okay, Merlin. He’s not gonna do anything to us, I promise.” They both knew it was a lie, but neither seemed to care, as if trying to convince themselves that it was true.

~~

[December 21st]

Merlin happily bounded through the park, making sure he didn’t stray too far from Jackie and Ava, since he’d came to help them (specifically Ava) be assured that nothing bad was gonna happen to them while they were taking their new sons to the park. He slowed down a little as he picked up more of their current conversation, wanting to make sure everything was alright.

“... Brandon... powers, Jackie...”

“Shit, he does..? W-What kind?” Merlin already knew the answer to the question, as, in his universe, Liam and Brandon were born much earlier in the timeline than they were here, and were 8 years old now. Though, they hadn’t started developing powers until they were toddlers...

“Well, right now, he’s just got really abnormal strength levels... I’m worried he might accidentally hurt his brother..” Yep, that was one of them, alright. He just wished he could tell them all the funny stories he had about their sons’ powers.

“Don’t worry, Ava, we’ll make sure he doesn’t. Promise.”

Ava was still clearly worried about it, but she didn’t say anything.

Merlin decided to change the conversation, and turned around, still bouncing, as he walked backwards, “Hey! Guys! Look, a rainbow!” He pointed to the multicolored arch behind them, and both glanced in its direction. Jackie laughed as soon as he saw it, getting a confused, yet amused glance from Ava.

“What’s so funny about the rainbow?”

“I dunno, it’s just weird, i guess. Such a weird time and place to have one, you know?”

“I suppose it is.”

“It’s just raining over there, you two.. It’s not that deep.” He joked.

~~

Merlin watched from afar as Thorn cautiously tried to approach Liam’s crib, amusement written all over his face, as the little snake creature shrank back from the small hands that grasped at the air in front of it. Jackie and Ava were out on a date, and Merlin had agreed to babysitting for them, until they came back.

A sudden thud on the patio brought his attention to the glass door, and he stood, carefully walking over to it, to look out and see what it was. He was surprised to see what looked like a person around his height, lying flat on the ground, wearing... a hospital gown?

He quickly opened the door, and darted to their side, turning them over to check for injuries. He had to hold himself from reeling back a few inches when he saw who it was- Another version of him! He must’ve been this world’s Marvin. That didn’t matter, though, because this version of him was clearly in no shape to be out of the hospital just yet, and had probably snuck out with a transportation spell. Hopefully it hadn’t backfired on him, because otherwise, he’d probably have just re-damaged several of his healing injuries.

“...J..ackie..?” The other groaned.

“Nope, sorry, Jackieboy’s off on a date. Girlfriend stuff, y’know?”

“... Then who...?”

“Uh. Long story. I’ll, uh, explain once I figure out what to do about this..” After that, the shorter-haired him passed out, presumably from the pain.

~~

Marvin ran through a dense woodland he didn’t recognize, breathing heavily as he tried to outrun something he couldn’t see. Then, to his surprise and horror, the world around him was consumed by darkness, and all motion stopped.

A brief moment of nothing but darkness and silence passed, and then, his vision began flashing with images that flew by so fast, he couldn’t even really process them. Someone or something started screaming in his voice, and as he slowly walked forwards, it got louder, and the images stopped, revealing a version of himself on his knees, roughly grasping his hair between his fingers as he screamed.

Marvin froze at the sight, as the words being screamed slowly became more and more audible.

“No! You can’t do this! They were happy! Put them back! Let them go! They don’t deserve this-!” The longer-haired version of himself sobbed, as Anti walked into view, holding a knife, with a sickeningly sadistic, psychotic look plastered on his face. Behind the glitch flashed in the scattered bodies of the other egos, and more surprisingly, himself. The demon was laughing hysterically at the magician’s pain, each passing moment leaving him seeming to be more and more deranged, as he loomed over the broken magician before him, knife raised, and ready to kill.

Then, it all stopped, and a small, 8-year-old boy, who looked a fair bit like Jackie, appeared in front of him, his face devoid of any emotion.

“It’s too late to save them. I’m sorry. He has already won. You’re all going to become His puppets. Please, when you see him, tell Merlin to come home. I am afraid that he may not make it back. Our Anti is much more dangerous than he thinks.”

“Wait, who’s Merlin?!”

“... He’s you.”

——————————————————

Next Chapter

Hehehehehee! Yay! More Merlin development! I love it! :D (I also hit the paragraph limit. Again. Lmao)

@antis-loyal-puppet @tiny-septic-puppet @rorald-spooks @chaoticcrimsonrose @septic-dr-schneep