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strwberrytae · 2 months ago

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Beyond Desire | 05

→ pairing: taehyung x reader → rating: 18+ only - m for mature - sexual and graphic content → genre: drama / romance → words: 9.9k → disclaimer/trigger warning: this is a piece of fiction based off of the fifty shades of grey series. this is not a parody. there are mentions of strong dominant and submissive lifestyles based on research and personal experience. there are also various psychological issues that are addressed throughout the series; including anxiety, self-destruction, blood, bruises, panic attacks, childhood abuse, non-consensual sexual acts and self-harm. this is a work of fiction and not to be taken as a promotion of the series, fifty shades of grey. this is an original piece of work. edit is created by me. enjoy! feedback is greatly appreciated.

→ a/n: thank you everyone for their patience! so much! I started this series years ago with the intent to continue it. life and lack of motivation got in the way, but it's made it's way back into fruition! this was frantically edited multiple times, though there still may be some errors. I hope you enjoy!

→ chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 [series in progress - must read previous chapters]

→ summary: it’s never easy falling for your best friend when you have so much history. it’s especially difficult when you both share the same sexual desires and lifestyle. taehyung is a dominant CEO of a well known company in Seoul and you are an up and coming editor. while both of you come from a troubled and dark past, you lean on each other for support and comfort. what happens as your feelings blossom and grow over the years? what happens when you fear Taehyung may be falling in love with someone else? will you confess your feelings or remain in the shadows?

The next morning, Joon Jae awoke at 6am as you realized he did every morning for work. You laid in his bed, so tired but awake. Your restless mind forbade you to sleep peacefully throughout the night. It was unclear how you felt, truly. Such an interesting feeling.

All you knew is that you were stuck with the familiar dread of emptiness that you had experienced many times before. It felt as if you became a vessel overnight yet again whenever you've done this; letting men completely take over and dominate you in ways against your wishes as if it's perfectly normal. Not to say that’s what the BDSM lifestyle entails. In the past, you’ve had a bad run of Doms who didn’t truly grasp the concept of consent. Men who think they're dominant, on the contrary, they're just abusers. Looks like Joon Jae is just another one. The only thing to do now is play along until you figure out how to escape this - safely.

Joon Jae emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his damp, onyx hair with a towel and a satisfied smile on his face.

“Morning gorgeous,” he greeted with his award winning smile. The term of endearment felt everything but. The word curdling in your ears. Turning over to face him, you put on a face as well as you always could; as if you hadn’t been utterly violated by this man the night before.

“Good morning, sir,” you purred sleepily. The bitterness coated your tongue as the words came out. Whether or not he caught on was not clear - most of them didn’t. As Joon Jae walked over to his black wooden dresser, you continued to lay on your side. Something caught your interest in the corner of your eye. Your gaze fell to your wrists. The handcuffs.

Upon your wrists were bruises from last night; a deep red color fresh in hue. It would certainly darken to purple throughout the day. You began to nibble on your bottom lip as you nervously checked under the blankets for more markings. Peppered on your hips remained fingerprints. They were not markings you were proud of - not like this. Bruises from the right person made you feel empowered, cherished. This was abuse of power - hatred. Your loathing for them grew rapidly; even though they've only just became a part of you.

“Why are you so quiet? Did I wear you out that much?” Nonchalantly, you place the cover back down as if you were only fixing it. Turning your head to face Joon Jae, he pulled on his boxers with an idiotic smirk on his face. His form was still beautiful, yet you were so disgusted by him now. Your eyes couldn’t help but to wander over his body; inspecting him. There was nothing - not a bruise or scratch. Here you lay in his bed completely marked and emotionally wounded by him and he gets to go to work without having to hide a single thing. Typical.

Letting out a big sigh, you sat up in the bed; making sure to cover your body with his gray silk sheets. Ever so slowly do you run your fingers through your hair and gracefully lick your lips to look as innocently seductive as possible. It was time to put on a show, and you were used to this performance. A sly smirk stretched on your face as your eyes became softer. After all, you still have some dignity left. That is something he can’t rob from you.

“And here I thought a little mystery to a woman was appealing. Does my silence bother you, sir?” Your voice slithered with seduction; hoping your little innuendo granted you his kindness with your performance. Joon Jae was a man after all, and you knew how to handle his type - call him Sir, Master. Obey, say please, submit. No matter what, or else. This was a man that got off feeling like he was the greatest thing on this Earth. A man who loved knowing that his submissive was actually afraid of him, displeasing him. To you? He’s the most disgusting person you have ever met.

The dark haired man sauntered over to you, grabbing hold of your chin with his index finger and thumb. A soft yet firm gesture to make you look up at him without protest, yet it felt so putrid.

“Was that sarcasm in your voice that you heard,” he questioned in a quiet tone. And there it is. His lips were barely moving as he spoke; an indication telling you that he didn’t find your comment too cute after all. You subdued your flirtatious attitude and retreated back to what you knew best - submission.

“No sir,” you whispered in a soft voice. He hesitated before letting you go. After a moment of cringing silence, a smile appeared on his face as if he was just messing with you. Using fear to make you submit, and then flipping a switch - how sadistic.

“Good girl. Get up and get dressed. I’ll drop you off at work.” Fighting back every morsel inside of you, you swallowed your pride to obey. You need to come up with a plan when you’re in a safer place. As such, you responded as you always do, following his instructions with a charming smile on your face.

Just as you suspected, the extra dress you brought with you came in handy as you anticipated staying the night. Your naked reflection in the mirror sent chills down your spine. Bruises peppered your skin with revulsion brewing inside of you . There were bags under your eyes as lack of sleep dragged them down. To put it mildly, you looked like hell. No matter how many times you've seen this sight from past failed relationships, the pain you felt in your heart still aches at the same intensity. You’re yearning for love grows more desperate. For real love.

A week’s time flew by as an absolute blur. To say you had quarantined yourself was an understatement - scared to face the world in your vulnerable state. You had completely submerged yourself into full submissive mode. It was all you could do to survive. The fear of what Joon Jae would do to you had clouded your mind as your dark thoughts took over. No matter how hard you tried to think of ways to part ways with him without retaliation, it was useless. There was a desperation coursing through you to reach out to Taehyung. No, you couldn’t. He would drop everything to aid you - fix the problem. It would be a burden. Instead, you carried on with your week as usual.

Dealing with Taehyung was easy. Whenever he asked to see you for lunch, you were busy in meetings. Important meetings with clients were underway thanks to Jisoo making you as booked as possible per your request. Taehyung knows how dedicated you are to your work, and he has all eyes on any projects you’re working on. Nothing out of the ordinary for the new Commissioning Editor, right?

In all honesty, you were legitimately busy besides the tedious work you’ve added to your pile. Your contract with GQ Korea Magazine, Joon Jae’s magazine, was reaching its end which means long hours, lots of editing, and lots of problem solving. You promised them that by the end of the month, you would increase their profits via online and social media by forty percent. Your coworkers told you that it was too risky to promise such a big turnaround, yet that didn’t sway you.

Typically, Kim Publishing worked with writers of novels, short stories, and more of the like. Occasionally, they worked with other companies that seeked better publication and production of their materials - online revenue. Working on this project ensured that while you were trying to remain distant from the world, you could see Joon Jae throughout the days without being entirely alone. Safe.

When he demanded your presence at night, you showed up at his apartment and gave him anything he wanted. Joon Jae did not hold back his passion for pain in forms of pleasure when you were together, but you had finally voiced for him to be cautious with marking you too much. Taehyung’s father’s charity ball was approaching, so requesting to avoid bruising wasn’t exactly unheard of. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop him from putting bruises in places he knew no one could see.

As time progressed, you found yourself reaching a breaking point. Typically, you loved seeing marks tattooed on your body as a reminder of your nights of lust and dominance over you - but not with him. Every time you saw your Dom, you felt like you were going to be sick. Faking orgasms was getting harder each day. Although, as Joon Jae was a purely self-absorbed man, he didn’t really notice.

At last, it was the day before the ball. Arrangements were made to leave work early so you could go home, and practice your song one last time before you had to perform it at the charity ball. You just wish you had the energy to be remotely excited about it. This was supposed to be your night to release your true feelings through the sound of music towards Taehyung. Although, here you were, in a relationship you couldn’t get out of. You're almost positive that Taehyung’s relationship with Yuri has only blossomed wildly this past week. Naturally.

When you arrived at your apartment, it was shortly after noon. Any other day, you would have grabbed lunch by now, but you've completely lost your appetite. It’s been like this all week. You've been surviving on ramyeon and espresso coffees all the while. Luckily, Joon Jae was going to be out of town today for an event, and wouldn’t be back until the ball tomorrow. You were relieved to finally have a whole day to yourself without twitching at the thought of him arriving at your doorstep any minute or ringing your phone.

Once inside your apartment, it felt warm from the sun beaming inside of it. Perks of having a home with large windows in place of exterior walls. For once, you felt like you could breathe as you closed the door, greeted with silence. Your feet dragged you to the bedroom as you dropped your contents one-by-one on any surface you passed by on your way. Walking in a zombie-like state as your body starts to feel like putty, your body relaxes with each step. A hot bath would be absolute heaven right now; perhaps a glass of wine too.

As you take off your cardigan, you hear something shift behind you. You turn around, gasping from shock before easing into instant relief and butterflies. It was your best friend standing there so casually.

“Jesus, Taehyung. You have to stop doing that. You almost gave me a heart attack. Honestly.” You clutch your chest with your hand over your rapidly beating heart. Although who knows if it’s because he scared you, or if this is just how your heart always beats around him. Likely the latter.

Taehyung stood there, examining you. He didn’t say a word, but instead walked up to you blatantly looking you over you with a fiery gaze. And yet, in the same gaze seemed to be softness with concern. You had to subdue the inappropriate thoughts that instantly came to your mind. With a sense of security, and belonging that was not earned, your submissive side called out to his dominant side as he towered over you. He reached to cup your face, but you flinched ever so slightly by accident. This caused him to worry; melting to a sheepish stance.

Taehyung’s touch had never bothered you before. He knew it was always platonically welcomed by you. At this moment, a look of hurt appeared on his face. With caution, Taehyung slowly proceeded to cup your face again, gently turning your head side to side as he looked you over. It was no secret that he was truly concerned about you.

Out of shame, you couldn’t dare look him in the eyes as fear began to fill you; fear that he would see right through you. Taehyung released you, standing before you with a softer demeanor yet he still held a dominant presence. His aura made you want to run into his arms, but you refrained.

“Y/N, how long has this been going on,” he inquired in a low, calm tone. You pulled your oversized cardigan back over your shoulders to bring you extra comfort; suddenly feeling cold and uncomfortable. Just as your anxiety crept in, you noticed that Taehyung seemed fidgety in the slightest. He tried his best to hide it, but you can see his hands twitching inside his pockets.

“What do you mean,” you asked quietly as an attempt to hide your little secret. Swiftly, you move away from him to head towards the kitchen for the glass of wine that you desperately need right now. You could easily sense that Taehyung wanted nothing more but to stop you in your tracks. He suppressed the urge to interject as it wasn’t his place. His arm stopped abruptly as he removed his hand from his pocket, re-routing to “adjust” the hem of his shirt. He followed you to the kitchen casually.

As you grabbed a bottle of merlot, pouring a reasonable amount for yourself, you took a deep breath. Following suit, you poured another for Taehyung as you know he would desire to join you. The first sip didn’t calm your nerves as much as you would have liked but the second one helped a little more. Taehyung took a respectful sip from the glass and maintained eye contact with you. His stare burns into your skin as you become flush with heat.

“Y/N. Answer the question,” he said in a firm voice. This time you looked up at him immediately without hesitation. Your submissive instincts take over as easily as they always do around him. Taehyung wasn’t dressed for work. Casual attire in loose jeans and black t-shirt; something that always looked good on him. You sighed softly as you realized just how much you missed him this past week.

You’ve barely spoken, and you skipped out on your weekly therapy appointment with Yoongi. That’s probably why he was here. Therapists are supposed to keep client confidentiality unless you’re Kim Taehyung who seems to always get what he wants. It was ridiculously infuriating sometimes. It’s not like Yoongi flat out tells Taehyung information but he’s really good at pointing him in the right direction. Why does he even bother? Knowing that the inevitable conversation was about to take place, you took your glass and went back to your room. Taehyung flattened his pillow-like lips, and made way to follow you yet again. For someone that had so little patience, he always seemed to be wildly patient with you.

“I told you I was busy this week,” you retorted with a shrug as you took another sip of wine, “I didn’t even have time to meet with Yoongi. Once this contract with GQ is done, I’ll meet with him, okay? If that’s your worry. You don’t have to interrogate me. Now, if you don’t mind, I was planning on taking a bath. Why don’t we catch up tomorrow at the party?” Your defensiveness took over like a prey-worthy animal in a corner - oversharing when caught.

There was desperation in your voice that you could not hide so easily. Taehyung couldn’t hold back, and reached out to grab your arm. He pulled up one of your cardigan sleeves in a quick motion, revealing the bruised lining around your wrist. You panicked to pull the sleeve back down and dropped your glass of wine. The red liquid spilled on the wooden floor as glass shattered around your feet. In the face of a small scare, you had never been so grateful as to not have carpeting. Red wine stains are the worst.

“Shit,” you whispered. You rolled your eyes as you took a step to get towels - frustrated with yourself. Taehyung stopped you in mid-step. His touch and rapid motion do not trigger you. The air stills. In the face of his dominance, you feel safe. Safer than anything and anywhere else in the world. His warm touch makes your legs weak.

“I’ll take care of it,” he lets out a sigh with worry. You bite your bottom lip, and look down at the ground to avoid his beautiful eyes - gentle almonds filled with care.

“It’s happening again, isn’t it,” Taehyung asked with calmness in his voice, evident with disappointment but primarily worry. He let out a frustrated sigh. Knowing exactly where you keep your cleaning essentials, Taehyung grabs the items effortlessly. His focus truly never leaving you.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? You promised that you would tell me if someone was taking advantage of you again so I could help you. How can I help you if you shut me out? Don’t you care about yourself? This is...” And then it happened, you shut down. Taehyung stopped himself from proceeding forward as he realized his overreaction wasn’t making you feel any better. What you really needed right now was comfort, not a lecture.

The atmosphere stilled with silence as you fell into submission. Speechless with no words clouding your mind, and too timid to look him in the eyes. Everything went blank. He was right. Leaving him out of this was doing more harm than good, and yet here you were shutting down instead of running to him. Honestly, you didn’t know how to pull yourself out of your head. It was suffocating. Taehyung knelt before you as you spiraled. A soft breath escaped his lips.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung,” was all you could manage to say. A bashful response as you felt that you had disappointed him. Internally, the inner demons you harbored convinced you that he was angry with you and would leave your side. Your best friend tilted his head to try to look at you. A soft, tender gaze looking at you with the sweetest smile on his lips. He reached to brush the hair falling near your eyes. Tears prickled your eyes as you melted into his touch.

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. That’s not what you needed. I put my worry and needs before yours when you’re clearly not in the right state,” he let out a soft sigh with worry evident on his face.

“What can I do to help you trust me?” He took your silence as an answer, and looked over your covered body. He took notice that you managed to cover every possible inch of you, even on a warm day. Words remained silent on your lips.

“How bad is it,” he continued kindly, “Please. Share your pain with me. Let me in.” Just like that, he unraveled you. Every wall came crashing down as the desperation in his voice made you yearn for him. Suddenly, the words flowed from you so easily; from your first date to the first time he punished you, to the hard limits he abused.

“I was going to text you the first night it happened but...I was too scared. I submitted to him in more ways than I wanted to. I felt so pathetic,” you looked at him with tears in your eyes, “Please don’t be upset with me.” Taehyung’s nostrils were flaring. He was trying so hard to contain his anger towards the man that abused his power over you. After a couple of deep breaths, he stood up and held his hand out to you.

“Come on. I’ll draw you a bath. We’ll talk about this once you get some sleep. You look like you haven’t slept all week,” he said in a low, soothing voice. As much as you wanted to protest, the mention of sleep made your eyes heavier. Delicately, you took his hand and nodded. With his arm around your shoulder, he led you to your bathroom. He knew where everything was and drew you a lavender scented bath - your favorite. After grabbing a towel, he turned to leave but stopped.

“N/N...can I see them? The marks,” you froze in place as his question made your cheeks burn. The marks on your body ranged from your wrists to the back of your hips, and the round mounds behind you. The crimson hue to your skin reached your ears. Taehyung has seen you naked before but that was by accident. One shower incident, not knowing he was inside your home as you danced to the kitchen to grab a snack. One very embarrassing incident - and he laughed.

You know it’s nothing sexual, yet it’s still inadvertently intimate. Even stripping down to your underwear, you’d be so exposed to him. Surprisingly, you considered showing him, to be seen by someone else and feel validated that these marks are just as putrid as you see them. This boundary… Is it appropriate to cross it? He is your best friend after all - the person you trust most.

“The marks? They’re in private places, Tae. I don’t think Yuri would like that very much.” Taehyung stiffened and for once, he seemed slightly embarrassed. Maybe it’s because he’s not used to having a girlfriend and didn’t think about that. He took a step closer and handed you the towel.

“Yuri doesn’t control me,” he said in a stern voice but then softened, “You’re my friend and I- I need to see them. I need to know.” There was sincerity in his eyes. It almost seemed as if he was scared. Is he punishing himself for what happened to you? You've only seen this side of him once before.

You were in the hospital after a bad session with one of your past Doms. Taehyung was away on a business trip for a week and when he came back, you were asleep in the gurney with several bruises and a cut lip. He thought you were asleep, but you could hear his tears and his apology for leaving you; promising he would never let this happen again. On the outside, you looked like you would be fine but he knew you wouldn’t be - not mentally. Perhaps this would be proof to him that this was real yet again. With a soft nod, you slowly began to undress.

Out of respect, Taehyung kept his distance; taking a step back as you did so. First your cardigan, then your knee length dress that hugged your curves - leaving you in your bra and underwear. Surely that would be enough for him to see the bruises that peppered your body - now shades of yellow, green, and brown. His eyes started making their way across your skin. You bit your bottom lip, and watched his gaze. It gave you chills in a way of vulnerability but also, arousal. Thankfully your bra was padded, otherwise he would be able to see how much his eyes affected you. Your nipples were erect, and your underwear damp with need.

Desperately you wanted him to touch you - hold you. You wanted to feel his hands caressing your body in ways it’s never felt before. Somehow you knew that his touch would heal you. It would make you feel no pain, only happiness. Something fierce turned in you, and it took every ounce of your being not to speak up. Taehyung did something that surprised you. His coffee-brown eyes seemed darker or maybe it was in your imagination.

He took a cautious step closer to you. His eyes remained on your hips where the worst bruises rested. On each side, beneath the black fabric that hugged your hips, bruises in shapes of fingerprints - marks of Joon Jae’s nails that had pierced your skin. Your breath became shaky as he stood before you. It was like he was hypnotized by your marks, yet you couldn’t read what was churning in his mind. He extended his hands and slowly reached for your hips. His fingertips brushed over your skin. His eyes moved to yours to look for a sign, expecting you to wince from pain or hesitation of his touch. Little did he know that his touch relaxed you beyond compare.

“S-see...it’s not that bad,” you whispered as you met his gentle gaze. Something shifted in his eyes as your eyes locked, something you've never seen before. You weren’t sure what it was. Yet, he just stood there - unwavering his eyes.

“Taehyung-”

“I should go. I have to take care of something before the ball. Thank you…for showing me,” he said softly. You nodded as he released his gentle hold on you, leaving you cold and in need of his touch again.

“Min-hyuk will pick you up at 7 tomorrow night. I’ll be wearing a black mask. Come find me when you arrive, okay?” A lighthearted chuckle escaped you as he handed you the towel to cover yourself.

“A black mask in a sea of other masks? I don’t think that’ll be too hard.” He smiled back at your little joke, and left you alone in your bathroom. As soon as you heard the door closing faintly in the distance, you felt like you could breathe again. Your body was on fire as you could still feel his touch. It felt like electric waves coursed through your veins just in a few seconds.

Turning to the warm bath that awaited you, the bath he drew for you, you sighed. When you discarded your bra, your nipples perked just as you knew they would. It was no surprise that when you eased your underwear down your legs, a string of arousal clung to them as your core remained swollen. As usual, the bliss of your own fingers, imagination, and a soothing bath will have to ease your ache for yet another night.

Not a single word out of Joon Jae today. It wasn’t unusual but since he was returning today from his trip, you figured you would have had a message from him with instructions for tonight. Although it’s not like you’re complaining. His silence is your saving grace.

As you sat in the back of Min-hyuk’s car, you watched the traffic as it rushed by. He looked in the rearview mirror to glance at you. Your mask wasn’t in place yet as there was no reason to hide your identity just yet. There was never a need for a divider between you as he was your friend as well.

“Miss Y/N,” he said from the front. Your gaze met his in the mirror and smiled in turn.

“Yes Min-hyuk?” Min-hyuk’s eyes flickered between you and the road to drive safely. He watched the road as he spoke.

“You look very beautiful tonight. I hope you smile a lot tonight. You deserve it, N/N.” His words made your heart skip a beat. Min-hyuk was like family to you. Almost like an uncle but more of a dear, old friend. He told you once that he hopes his daughter grows up to be like you, and that was the greatest compliment he could have given. Although, for both of their sake, you hope she becomes much better; stronger and wiser, just like her father. Min-hyuk stopped the car as he pulled into the Kim’s driveway. Grabbing your mask to put in place, you leaned forward to get closer to Min-hyuk. You gently placed your hand on his shoulder to kiss his cheek.

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Min-hyuk. Thank you.” He smiled back at you whilst trying to remain professional, he averted his gaze straight ahead. Various people in all colors and shapes cascading into the radiant home. So many elegant gowns with elaborate details to match the masquerade theme. A gentle thought crossed your mind and you couldn’t resist.

“Why don’t you go home? I can easily find a ride home. Besides, I’m sure your daughter would love to see you at a decent hour.” There was a sparkle of hope and admiration in his eyes that you couldn’t help but to adore.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let Taehyung know I relieved you. I’ll take the scolding.” It was obvious that Min-hyuk tried masking his excitement but you could see right through it. With the slightest of smiles but the fullest heart, Min-hyuk got out of the car to open your door. You got out and stood by his tall, broad form.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he responded. Smiling at him, you squeezed his forearm gently.

“Have a good night, Min-hyuk.” With that, you sauntered off into the night to join the rest of the mysterious guests of Min-ho’s masquerade ball.

The Kim’s home, that had always been your safe haven, had transformed into a modern renaissance extravaganza. It was simply stunning. Hues of red and gold filled the room with chandeliers to add to the expensive tone. Jesters and performers of all kinds were scattered around the room to entertain guests as they walked by. From jugglers to a man swallowing a ball of fire as if it was water quenching his thirst.

A smile appeared on your face in appreciation of how well the Kim’s always throw a party. It was over the top and yet they always spent more money than they pocketed in profit. It’s never about the money for such events, especially a charity event. This night is for underprivileged children in broken homes and drug addictions. A cause they have always been passionate about. It was admirable - and why you’re a part of their family today.

Feeling confident as you glided into the mansion, you felt proud of your dress. You felt sexy. It was conservative yet not. The dress caught your eye ages ago, deciding to keep it for a special occasion. A golden dress with glimmering accents that made you feel radiant. Your bare skin peeking through the nude toned mesh material, from afar looking see-through in a teasing way. Sequins reflecting every light you pass under as if you were a walking piece of jewelry - not too tacky or gaudy. A delicate turtleneck with exposed shoulders to reveal your soft skin in contrast to the floor length gown. Caressing your hips and between your breasts was a sheer fabric that lightly exposed your skin, just enough to show you were not wearing a bra or underwear - not enough to give everyone a show. Fortunately, the material cupping your breasts was thick enough to hide the perk to your nipples as the dress was mildly stimulating. The ensemble you chose didn’t go unnoticed by the others at the party. People casually glanced your way, yet your head remained high as confidence coursed through you

A gold mask laid on your face well enough to hide your insecurities. It matched your dress in its sparkle and shine. There is just enough makeup for a natural, bronze look to pair evenly with your attire. With grace, you scanned the room as you walked through. The Kim’s decorated their home to look like a casino to allow people to gamble for a cause. People of all sorts spread throughout the home at blackjack tables, poker, craps, roulette, but also the dance floor. Smooth jazz played in the background as the live band and black tied man sang at the microphone.

For the first time in a while, you felt unafraid and sure of yourself. At least until you saw something that made your confidence drop into the pit of your stomach. Taehyung entered the room with a silver dressed goddess on his arm - Yuri. She wore a silky dress that clung to her petite body. It was apparent that Taehyung bought it for her. It had his taste written all over it. Even you could tell that Yuri was a simple girl that didn’t like extravagant things. The dress suited her and you can’t deny that you don’t envy her for it. Although you love the dress you're in, a part of you wants to be in that dress instead - or perhaps, on Taehyung’s arm. Thankfully, Taehyung’s elegant mother approaches you, and gives you the distraction you desperately needed.

“Y/N! Oh my… You-,” she let out a sigh and smiled sweetly with tears in her eyes, “You look absolutely stunning, dear.” Sooyoung reaches you, immediately giving you a kiss on each cheek after a warm hug as she always does when she sees you. She looked stunning in her black dress. She always looked beautiful in such a warm way that made you feel nothing but comfort.

“Thank you, Sooyoung. You look beautiful beyond words as always. The party seems like a success as I knew it would.” Sooyoung smile, humbly brushing off your compliment. Letting out a pleased sigh, she looked around and nodded.

“You’re too kind, dear. It turned out very well. I can’t say I’m not proud.” At that moment, Taehyung and Yuri turned towards you to meet Min-ho, his father, to exchange a few words. You tried your best not to acknowledge the situation. Fortunately, a waiter walked by with a tray of champagne. Quickly taking a stemmed glass, you downed it without a problem. Sooyoung smirked and took a sip from her own that she gathered as well.

“I’m sorry to hear about Joon Jae, although I’m sure you’re a little relieved,” she said as she lowered her glass. This caught your attention. You cocked your head slightly as you lowered your glass to hold elegantly in your hand.

“Joon Jae? What do you mean?”Sooyoung almost looked amused at your question.

“Why do you sound so surprised? It’s been all over the news all day - the arrest. Surely, you heard about it,” she waited a moment before continuing, “Embezzling thousands of dollars for years is bound to catch up with a person. I must say, I had a bad feeling about him. At least now you don’t have to part ways in an uncomfortable way. Assuming you would be parting ways, that is.” Embezzling money? What on earth is she talking about? You tried your best not to seem too surprised. Instead, you nodded to agree with her. Thankfully, a couple approached her to grasp her attention; giving you an opportunity to get away.

Out of your small clutch purse, you pulled out your phone. Your instinct told you to just search on Naver for Joon Jae’s name to see what came up. To your surprise, his name appeared instantly in a headline - “Ahn Joon Jae Hordes Thousands from GQ Korea Magazine”. Within the first paragraph, it described his crime; stating he stole money from the company through false stocks and bonds. An anonymous tip warned the authorities yesterday afternoon and he was arrested the moment he landed back in Seoul from a business trip. Something about this raised an alarm inside of you. You looked up from your phone to find Taehyung. He was deep in conversation with another couple with Yuri clinging to his side.

A part of you felt upset by this, yet another part felt touched. The ultimate fear inside of you of the consequences from this couldn’t help but to surface. There was no doubt it was Taehyung. The situation was too perfectly timed. He had to take care of something alright, you thought. Joon Jae was a powerful man. Could Taehyung’s power overshadow his or would this come back to haunt you? Your thoughts were interrupted by a man in a tuxedo in a black and silver mask. This man was Ki-young, Taehyung’s older brother.

“Can our girl dress to impress or what? N/N, you look freaking amazing,” the golden retriever said cheerfully. It was obvious from his ecstatic mannerisms that it was your unrelated brother. Right away, you could recognize his date from your previous dinner together. She wore an elegant blue dress that complimented her dyed blonde hair accompanied by a silver mask. Ki-young leaned forward to give you a kiss on the cheek and you reciprocated.

“You always know how to make a girl feel special. Hello Yoona. You look beautiful. I can see why Ki-young is so cheerful tonight.” The young woman blushed, and squeezed Ki-young’s arm as she held onto him.

“Thank you. I have to say this isn’t your everyday crowd, but it’s a lot of fun being here dressed like this. So many elites and chaebols are here,” she whispers excitedly, “But seriously, N/N. That dress is to die for. Your boyfriend must be a mess seeing you like this. Where is uh...Joon Jae, right?” Ki-young looked a little guilty towards you, or at least knowing of the situation. You simply smiled kindly.

“Joon Jae isn’t here tonight. I came alone. I couldn’t let this dress go to waste,” you teased lightly, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to speak with Min-ho for a moment. Have a good evening you two.” As much as you wanted your exit to seem nonchalant, Yoona looked at Ki-young with apologetic eyes. She could sense she unintentionally made you uncomfortable. He assured her that she did nothing wrong with a simple kiss to her temple.

Indeed, you did go to find Min-ho for further instructions on your performance tonight. You couldn’t face Taehyung; not yet at least. Besides, he was busy entertaining Yuri, so you didn’t want to interrupt them. In fact, the more you thought about it, knowing you were truly alone tonight, all you wanted to do was sing your song and make your exit. Going home, putting on some pajamas, and watching a chick flick with a big glass of wine sounded delightful - maybe a whole bottle.

Min-ho was found standing with Sooyoung as they spoke to another lavish couple. As you approached them, you tried sneaking glances at Taehyung. Luckily, he never noticed. Your fictive kin parents took notice of you as you approached them, and said their goodbyes to the couple they were speaking with.

“N/N, dear, you look stunning. I’m so glad you made it,” Min-ho said with delight. You leaned forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. He had such young features for a man his age; so comforting and bright. The Kim’s were truly a good looking family, even including Taehyung being adopted into the family. Their wealth and status never faltered their kindhearted nature. They always remained true and pure. You couldn’t have asked for a better family to stand by your side throughout your years.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you took another quick glance at Taehyung, whom you found on the dance floor with Yuri. Sooyoung took notice as she always does - as most mothers do.

“So, your performance. Are you well prepared?” Min-ho smirked as the instruments in the background came to an end. The guests clapped respectfully for the band. Butterflies tingled to your very core.

“It looks like it will be about right about now,” he remarked with a wink as he walked towards the stage. The intoxication of the champagne seemed to hit you like an IV tap - giving you enough courage to carry on. Sooyoung stepped closer to you and put her hand on your arm for comfort.

“Don’t be nervous, dear. It’s going to be beautiful,” Sooyoung reassured in her sweetest, motherly tone. With a sigh, you put your hand over hers before she let go.

“I’m...going to sing something different. Something with more meaning. I don’t think the world is ready for the mess I’ve been writing these days,” you joked with a nervous laugh. It was a decision you were perfectly happy with. Most of the songs you sang had a dark and somber meaning between the lines. This selection was specifically driven towards a more light yet still romantic setting. As you sat down each night to practice this song, something felt right. This song made your heart hurt in the most healing way - the old, jazz classic, Everytime We Say Goodbye.

“It is my pleasure to introduce a beautiful, young woman who has been nothing less than a daughter to me and my wife over the years. It turns out that she has wonderful talent, and now she’s going to share it with all of you. We’re delighted to witness such a gift. Ladies and gentlemen, Y/N L/N.” When you heard your name, your heart pounded in your chest. Your eyes on the microphone as you approached the small stage area.

It’s been so long since you've performed in front of people. Well, you had piano recitals in school, but you didn’t have to open your mouth to sing. Ever. This was new territory and surprisingly, you didn’t feel like you were going to throw up. Although, it did feel like your heart was beating in your throat. A part of you felt relief that Soo-young convinced you to stand outside of your comfort zone. It was especially invigorating as no one really knew you could sing. And now, the people closest to you and a room of elite strangers were about to see your vulnerability on display.

The crowd lightly applauded as you took your graceful strides forward. When you got up to the stage, you were greeted with a sea of elegant men and women in extraordinary dresses and masks - a beautiful sight yet excruciatingly intimidating. Even though this was an upscale lifestyle you were used to seeing, you still didn’t feel as if you fit in. But now, with this song, you could escape to a world that was always your safe place. It should be a terrifying thought but the only set of eyes that make you weak in the knees are his.

The piano keys begin playing in the background in a harmonious fashion. Nervous fingers twitch at your side to the melody to follow along the rhythm. Instantly, as you close your eyes to take it all in, it takes you back to your childhood. When you and Taehyung were having your darkest of days. Playing jazz albums on the vinyl player he kept in his room, this song in particular - Every Time We Say Goodbye. Tonight, the beautiful melody was sung by you.

We love each other so deeply That I ask you this, sweetheart Why should we quarrel ever? Why can't we be enough clever, never to part -

It wasn’t until you drew out the last note that you finally opened your eyes. Closing your eyes allowed you to feel the music and travel back to the time you held so near and dear to your heart. When you opened them, your focus was on the pair of brown eyes that always made your heart flutter. It took no time to find them as if your auras were calling out to each other. The melody remained slow as your voice led the flow of the chords. So tender and raw with a hint of deep love with each note that escaped your lips. A fabrato purred in your throat with each ending word naturally.

Every time we say goodbye, I die a little Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little Why the gods above me, who must be in the know - Think so little of me They allow you to go -

The song flowed in perfect harmony with your voice as people began slow dancing along. Eyes respectfully tried to remain on you as your presence was captivating in every way. In particular, Taehyung was watching. There was a soft smile on his lips. You couldn’t tell if he was surprised or in awe or just content to be near his beloved. Yuri said something to him that you couldn’t make out. He then turned his attention back to her. It was only for a moment and his gaze was back on you as they continued dancing with one another.

When you're near, There's such an air of spring about it I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it - There's no love song finer But how strange the change from major to minor Every time we say goodbye Every time we say goodbye -

The song came to an end with a big weight lifted off of your chest. The room cheered. In Particular, you took notice of Ki-young and Min-ji clapping and cheering louder than anyone else in the room - such supportive siblings. You couldn’t help but to smile with a tinted rose in your cheeks. Graciously, you curtsied to the crowd. Walking off the stage, the band began playing the next song to keep the mood for the party. You decided to go towards the dance floor to find everyone; well, Taehyung. Interrupting your search with eagerness, Ki-young, Yoona, and Min-ji walked up to you. Min-ji was the first to give you the biggest hug her petite body could handle.

“Y/N L/N! Oh my god! I didn’t know you could sing like that! Babe, you sounded like an angel!" As you hugged her back, you couldn’t help but to giggle. Her enthusiasm made you feel warm. Min-ji was always such a bright spirit and you loved her for it.

“Thanks Min-ji. I’m sorry I didn’t greet you before going on. You look ravishing as always.” Min-ji gave you a look and then the same to Ki-young.

“Can you ever take a compliment without giving one back,” she asked with a laugh, “but thank you. You know how much I love a good party.”

“You love anything that involves you dressing up, Min,” Ki-young interrupted with a kind smile. Min-ji turned to him with a cheeky smile showing that he was right on the nose.

“You know me all too well, big brother.” At that moment, Taehyung arrived by your side and gently placed his hand on your lower back. An instant chill ran up your spine as you caught a glimpse of the coy smile he gave his siblings; his scent filling your nose. Smoked cherries - spicy and sweet. Ba-dum, ba-dum. Be still my heart.

“Ki-young, Yoona, Min-ji, do you mind if I steal N/N for a moment?” The trio smiled and willingly let him whisk you away. He didn’t waste any time to take you further onto the floor, readying himself in position to start dancing with you. He held you close and your instinct was to find Yuri to ensure this didn’t bother her. She couldn’t be seen anywhere.

“Where’s your date,” you asked casually. Taehyung looked at you without an emotion you could read and held your hand a little tighter in an endearing way - a comforting way.

“She’ll be back soon. So, when were you planning on telling me that you could sing like that? I've known you practically your whole life and I've never heard you. Curious.” The word slithered out like a snake who just caught his victim. The way he asked seemed as if he was slightly insulted that he didn’t know. A playful scoff came out. The man acts as if there can be no secrets between you two. Little does he know. He discovered something about you that he couldn’t read in a file. Poor thing. You looked into his eyes and remained coy.

“You don’t have to know everything about me, you know?” He laughed lightly in amusement. Lowering himself to meet your ear so only you could hear, his breath tickled your skin.

“You and I both know that’s far from the truth. I must know everything about you,” his voice hummed deliciously in a way that made you shiver, “For what it’s worth, you have a beautiful voice, along with how you look tonight. You sang our song. Should I be flattered or was that just a coincidence?” His gaze returned to yours as he parted from the side of your face. Prayers couldn’t prevent your cheeks from changing colors. His irises seemed darker somehow. It made your heart race.

“It depends. Are you flattered, Taehyung?” Wait. Are we flirting? It’s been a while since we’ve been playful towards each other; at least since before Yuri came into the picture. A smirk formed on his perfectly shaped lips - hypnotizing.

“Flattered enough that I want to hear you again. Would you sing for me,” he asked in an enticing voice. It was then that you realized how close you were dancing together. His touch felt like fire against your lower back as the material of your dress was dangerously thin. You could feel how firm his chest was as your torsos were sandwiched together. The smell of his body wash and light scented cologne makes your head spin. Surely he could feel how fast your heart was beating. Or perhaps he could smell how aroused you are. Your cheeks flushed deeper as you looked up at him.

“You know I’ll do anything you ever ask of me. I’ll do anything for you, Taehyung,” you said in a submissive tone. Saying his name when you spoke to him was your own way of being submissive to him, but you're not sure if he ever noticed. Something changed in his expression. It seemed as if time stood still. Suddenly, Taehyung’s attention averted towards the entrance. Yuri was headed out in a rushed fashion - almost as if she was running away. His attention was no longer in your presence as he watched her descend towards the doors.

“Perhaps a raincheck. Excuse me.” And in an instant, Taehyung left. Initially, the feeling of disappointment coursed through you yet your empathy took over. Whatever it was, it would be awful of her boyfriend to just stand there and watch her leave. And yet, how quickly he ran to her without hesitation made your heart drop ever so slightly. You got your dance and sang your song. May as well make your exit. Regardless, it was all you wanted from this evening.

Sooyoung and Min-ho are sitting at a table engaging in conversation with other elites. With a deep breath to regain your composure, you make your way over there to say goodbye. They both look up at you with delight.

“Sorry to leave so early but I think I’m going to go,” you interrupt politely. Min-ho went to speak but was pulled into another conversation by a peer. Sooyoung looked disappointed by this.

“But the evening has just begun, darling. Won’t you stay for the auction? It’s coming up soon.” Ah, the auction. Bidding on items and events isn’t exactly your cup of tea. Your contribution was your voice and you couldn’t bear to be there any longer. Walking over behind them, you kissed each of them on the cheek.

“Enjoy your evening, okay? I’ll come over soon to share a meal.” Sooyoung opened her mouth to protest, however, you left before you could hear another reason to stay. For once, you wanted to be selfish. You needed to be selfish. Besides, nothing sounded more appealing to you than spending the remainder of the night with yourself. Perhaps tonight, you’ll start learning how to move on; starting with the biggest bottle of wine that you can find.

It was nearly midnight and you were sure the party had come to an end by now. A content sigh escaped you as you walked out of your bedroom in your most comfortable loungewear. Face washed and your routine night care had been complete - leaving you feeling fresh. Eagerness coursed through your veins as your bare feet led you towards the kitchen. A steaming cup of tea awaited you.

With your cup in hand, you walked over to your couch whilst taking tiny sips to soothe your soul. A fuzzy blanket laid lazily just calling out your name. Now that the ball was over, a weekend ahead of catching up on rest seemed like a dream. Just as you were about to turn on an episode of one of your favorite dramas, there was a knock on the door. Panic made you freeze; alert yet confused. Who would be at your door this late at night?

Fear rose in your chest as you slowly got off the couch. Please don’t let it be Joon Jae… Your phone in hand ready in case you need to make an emergency call to someone, anyone. Thoughts mumbling internally as you approach the tiny security screen near your door, you take a peak to see your visit. To your surprise, it was the last person you were expecting to see. Instantly, you opened the door.

“Taehyung? What are you doing here?” His hair looked slightly teased. His suit jacket was gone leaving him just in a button down shirt, the top two buttons undone and his tie unraveled around his collar. He looked up at you in a way that caused your heart to skip a beat. Had he been crying?

“She’s gone. I guess I’m more of a monster than I thought…” His voice sounded so defeated. It broke your heart into two. Nothing stopped you from reaching out for his hand to lead him inside.

“Ah... Come inside,” your soothing voice whispered. When you closed the door, he stood in place. Looking around your apartment as if it was the first time he had ever been here. Lost and dazed. What the hell happened to make him so disheveled? As much as you wanted to wrap your arms around him, you decided to keep your distance. Instead, you went to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea for him as well. He looked like he desperately needed one - something comforting. When you returned to him, he hadn’t moved an inch. He slowly reached for the cup, wrapping his hands around it without taking a sip.

“What happened? I haven’t seen you like this...in a really long time. Are you okay?” Somehow, you felt as if you could feel his pain. Your attachment to him truly took a hold. The empathetic connection you shared was all consuming, as if you had the power to fix everything.

“She wanted to see. She wanted to know how far I could go. It wasn’t even my furthest. I proceeded with caution, started slowly. But she looked at me as if I abused her. I trusted her to tell me to stop and she never did. Why didn’t she use her safe word? I...I don’t know what I did wrong.” Blood boiled inside of you. Although he spoke without much context, you knew exactly what he meant. Yuri must have challenged Taehyung to show her his true dominance. Why like this? Yuri was new to the world of BDSM. Trust is the utmost important aspect of the realm. To defy this trust is the worst you can do - whether as the dominant or the submissive.

Remember when you interviewed Yuri a while back, she asked you questions about this lifestyle. It wasn’t a life for her. She didn’t understand. You don’t just become submissive. You either are or you’re not. Maybe you should have warned Taehyung but he needed to see for himself. In the moment, all you could do was keep to yourself. Now wasn’t the time for “I told you so”. He needed a friend, a confidant.

“You’re not a monster. Don’t ever think that way. You have strong feelings for Yuri and I get that. I really do. You gained feelings for someone who doesn’t understand this life, which isn’t easy. Being a dominant or a submissive isn’t a sin. It’s not weird or unusual. It’s an intense relationship that involves trust in so many forms. You need someone who can give you the best of both worlds - a submissive and a deep connection outside of the bedroom. I’m...sorry that person wasn’t Yuri. Give it some time. Maybe she just needs to think about it and she’ll come around. If you’ll accept her trust again, that is.” Taehyung’s gaze never left yours as you spoke. Something softened in his eyes.

“I don’t think I could trust her again. Who is to say she won’t do it again? Maybe…I need someone that can give me that trust. Someone...like you.” Your jaw dropped and lips dried as you lost your breath. Eyes widened at his words, your head frantically started replaying his words to make sure you heard them correctly.

“I-I...I don’t know w-what you mean. You’re not thinking clearly. Why don’t we sit on the couch?” Fighting every fiber of your being to think too much into the situation, you turned to go towards the couch. His hand reached for your wrist to still you. His eyes were dark, lingering enough to make your skin heat with anticipation.

“I’m thinking more clearly than I have in my entire life. Y/N, why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” Time stood still. What did he mean? It couldn’t be. The song perhaps? How did he know? Thinking back, you recalled getting an unusual text from his mother after you left the ball.

It will all be better soon. I promise, dear.

Sooyoung. What the hell did she say to him? The breath in your lungs became dense as the room became smaller. The deepest secret between the two of you had been revealed without your permission. A string of emotions rushed over you as you tried to find a way to escape this.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re...just friends. That’s it,” you stuttered timidly as you tried to play it off with nervous laughter. Taehyung didn’t look phased.

“If you wanted to be more, all you had to do was ask. I thought I was clear about that.” Then that’s when you started putting the pieces together. Did he think you just wanted to be his submissive? You couldn’t help but to laugh lightly - insulted.

“Taehyung, I’ve told you a thousand times. I don’t want to be your sub. I value our friendship far too much for that. I don’t know what your mother told you but I think you got the wrong idea. Don’t read too much into things.” Feeling the perfect opportunity as he loosened his grip, you removed your wrist from his hand. The fear of him feeling your heightened pulse made you retreat from his warm touch. Surely she said something subtle and he took it the wrong way. He’s suggested such a dom-sub relationship for years; no strings attached. It was a line you could never cross as you knew you would get attached and want more. A real relationship. Love.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung, but that’s not a line I can cross with you.” Your gaze into his eyes were soft - sincere. Rejecting his offer yet again to avoid a potential broken heart, it was the best solution. It had to be.

“So you’re not in love with me then,” Taehyung replied in a low, sultry tone. Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes widened in alarm. Shock got the best of you, making you drop your teacup causing it to shatter against the floor - the only sound that remained in the room besides your thoughts.

Fuck...

114 notes · View notes

hobeemin · 2 years ago

Text

fool’s gold

💰 genre: angst, smut, drama, established relationship au, lovers to enemies

💰 pairing(s): ceo!kim namjoon x doctor!poc (f)reader x lawyer!kim seokjin

💰 summary: "the cause of broken marriages is selfishness in one form or another" - vance havner

vows were never meant to be broken yet here they were. the problem is how can you quit the very person you know is your soulmate?

💰 rating: 18+

💰 warning(s): divorce, infidelity, depression, anxiety, gossip, drinking, swearing, pregnancy, gossip, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, teasing, angry sex

💰 word count: 4.5k

💰 credits: a huge shoutout to @daimyosjeon and @sugakookitty for beta reading this fic. i hadn’t written anything in awhile so i appreciate the feedback you both gave cause i was so unsure of this fic 💜💜

banner resources found here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

💰 a/n: for the heartbroken society collab hosted by @shina913 @playmetheclassics & @jeonlius

The horns outside roused the two occupants awake. The man blinked, trying to remove the sleep from his eyes. His lover didn’t take long to rise from the bed and search for her clothing strewn around the room. He watched with interest as she dressed, only sitting back down on the edge of the bed to put her shoes back on.

“Leaving so soon?”

She sighed as she felt his hand touch her lower back. She almost recoiled from it.

“We go through this every time, Namjoon. You know I can’t stay.”

He frowned, rolling onto his back as he looked at the ceiling. “You can; you just never do.”

She stood, walking over to the mirror at the dresser. “I’m not going to get into this with you right now, and I need coffee before my meeting this morning.”

He rolled his eyes. “Always a pleasure Y/N.”

“Likewise.”

---

Y/N sat at the table, fiddling with a pen in her hand. Her eyes kept glancing at the clock.

Late as usual.

“Are you sure he knew when the settlement started?”

She huffed, turning to the man beside her. “Jin, I’m sure of it, and it was scheduled months ago.”

Jin sat back and adjusted his tie. “Being late will only make the judge hate him more.”

The door opened as the judge walked in. She nodded to the three people sitting and sat down. “I see he’s late again,” she murmured, opening her files.

The second man finally spoke up, his features slightly annoyed. “Your honor, I’ve called my client but haven’t been able to reach him–”

The door to the conference room burst open as Namjoon entered, looking disheveled. He planted himself in the seat next to his lawyer and gave the judge a small smile.

“My apologies, Judge Park. Traffic.”

Judge Park scowled. “Traffic didn’t stop everyone else from being here on time. Mr. Kim, I’d suggest you get your priorities straight. After all, this is your divorce settlement.”

The judge continued to drone on, summarizing what had been said in the last few sessions.

Y/N glared at Namjoon. After seven years of marriage, they called it quits. They didn’t try to hold on to their marriage. How she felt about him and made her think they weren’t aligned. The bills from their marriage counselor were proof enough.

After a particularly nasty scandal involving a secretary, Y/N called it quits. She was tired of the whispers and the looks she received working at the hospital, which added even more stress to her already fast-paced life.

And yet.

She looked across the table at her soon-to-be ex-husband. Why couldn’t she stay away? The guilt of that morning still lingered, and the thought made her face heat up if they had any idea what she and Namjoon did the night before.

Feeling eyes on her, she looked up from her papers to see Namjoon glancing at her. She looked over at her lawyer. Jin was preoccupied with the judge, reading over his notes and paying attention, as was Namjoon’s lawyer. She rolled her eyes as a smirk spread across his face. The sudden urge to wipe it off his face with her fist grew each moment. When he sent a wink her way, Y/N let out an audible groan making both lawyers stop talking.

They turned, looking at her curiously. Jin raised an eyebrow at her in concern as he reached for his glass. “Everything alright, Dr. Kim?”

Y/N flashed him a smile.

Judge Park pressed her hands together with a nod to each person.

“It seems these are the terms from both parties. If we’ve reached an agreement, these can be drawn up, and in our next meeting, we’ll only need signatures. How do we–”

“Your Honor?”

Y/N huffed out a breath as Namjoon spoke up. Adjusting his tie, he shot her a look with a grin. “I’d like to go over the logistics of the assets once more.”

Jin frowned. “I’m sorry, but what wasn’t clear before?”

Namjoon murmured as he leafed through the sheets. Once he reached the section, he chuckled, flipping it around and placing his finger near it.

“The vacation property. What do you plan to do with it?”

Was he for real?

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t be serious. Why do you care what I do with it?”

“Humor me, please.”

A frown crossed her face. “Sell it.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Wha–B-But why?! We built it together, Y/N!”

A snarl erupted from between her lips. “It lost all value when you decided to bring multiple women into our bedroom, Namjoon.”

“I will have to step in and cease this conversation. This session is adjourned.”

As the judge stood, the group did as well until she left the room. Y/N sighed heavily as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. Namjoon observed the action. Yep. She was stressed, and it was her way of coping with it. He remembered when he first saw her do it as a university student, and they were studying in his dorm during finals week.

“Helps me calm down,” she once said.

He realized he’d been staring once her eyes fell on him. He looked away in haste. She rolled her eyes until she felt a hand on her arm. Y/N turned to see Jin standing next to her. He removed his hand once he realized they were still around other people. He dropped his voice enough for her to hear.

“Call me later?”

She nodded, giving him a small smile. Relief passed his features as he gathered his papers and put them into his suitcase. The group headed to the elevators waiting for it to stop at their floor.

“Where’s Haneul?”

Y/N scoffed at the question, keeping her eyes facing the elevator. “So now you care about your daughter?”

Namjoon sighed, feeling the sudden headache grow. “She’s just as much my daughter as she is yours.”

She rounded on him, and her temper began to flare. “I wish you wouldn’t try to test me. Keep it up, Joon. I’m trying to be fair, but if you keep antagonizing me, I will ensure you only get limited visits with her.”

“You wouldn’t do that, Y/N,” he accused quietly. Namjoon narrowed his eyes at his wife, and she was playing hardball now. He was a lousy husband but prided himself on being a great father.

Jin glanced between the two of them. “This isn’t the proper place for this discussion.”

“I’m aware, Seokjin,” she snapped before returning to Namjoon. “She’s staying with my parents; they flew in a few days ago. Happy?”

“Very. Thanks,” he mumbled. “I’ll pick her up on Friday and take her to school on Monday morning.”

She nodded, pressing the button that led to the parking garage. At least she could be civil when it came to their daughter.

“Fine with me. Just call before you arrive.”

Namjoon hummed in agreement, and the elevator ride fell into silence. As he leaned against the wall, deep in thought, he noticed something. Seokjin stood too close to his wife– he refused to call her his ex until the papers were signed. They were merely separated. But Y/N didn’t move away from Seokjin; she quickly smiled at him. Namjoon’s knuckles paled as he gripped his suitcase tighter. Clenching his jaw, he cleared his throat.

“Are you going back to work now?”

Y/N stepped away from Seokjin and turned to Namjoon. “No, I took a leave of absence.” Seeing his facial expression, she sighed. “It’s fine, and I have enough residents to help until I’m back.”

The last thing she wanted to do was have him pry about why she took time off work, and all it would do was lead to another argument. She was relieved when the elevator finally reached the parking level she was on. As the door opened, Seokjin held the button. She turned toward Namjoon with a curt nod.

“I’ll see you soon, Namjoon. I’ll let Haneul know you’ll pick her up.”

“Thank you. See you Friday.”

As she walked out, Seokjin followed, tipping his imaginary hat to him just as the doors shut. Namjoon frowned as he got off at the next level. Why did seeing her with Jin rustle his feathers so much? Not only would that be inappropriate, but it would also be an extreme conflict of interest. He was her lawyer, for crying out loud.

Would that stop you?

He shook off the thoughts, frowning as he walked to his car. Yes, things had gotten bad between them, but they always ended up in bed together for the most part. Regardless of their thoughts of each other, no matter how toxic it was, Namjoon and Y/N still had some physical attraction to each other.

---

“Oh shit!”

Y/N whipped her head back, biting down hard on her lip. One hand gripped the counter's edge, and the other tangled into dark hair from the scalp for dear life. She willed herself to open her eyes and look down at the head between her legs.

She bit back a scream as she rutted against his mouth. He massaged her inner thighs, placing soft kisses along her skin, making his way up to her pussy lips. His finger stroked her slit, gauging her reaction. His fingers dug into her thighs as his lips laid an assault on her swollen clit. Y/N’s hips bucked, making him chuckle as he pulled away.

At the sudden loss of contact, a frown formed on her face. Mischievous eyes met hers as his tongue licked a thick strip along her seam, causing her to jolt.

“Frustrated?”

Y/N eyed him with scrutiny.

Giving in would only make things rough. He knew what he was doing to her. A smirk spread on his face, watching her come undone.

“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn. Just say my name, and I’ll let you come, darling.”

Making a point, he spread her lips, zeroing in on her clit. He flicked it gently, followed by a smack. With a muffled moan, Y/N’s hips bucked. Collecting her arousal on his tongue with kitten licks, he let out a hungry moan before covering her clit with his mouth, causing her to cry. He let go of her clit, letting his tongue travel down to her entrance. He hummed as he feasted, enjoying how close she was to unraveling. Gasping, she gripped his hair more, making a hiss slip past his pillowy lips as she anchored herself.

“Let go, Y/N. I know you want to, darling. It’s alright,” he coaxed silkily.

The tight coils in her belly released so suddenly that she almost scooted off the counter. He held down her thighs to keep her from falling as she cried out. The aftershocks were so intense she kept shivering as he stood from his spot. He picked her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest.

“Anything to say, Y/N?”

Finally catching her breath, she looked at him with a chuckle.

“Fuck you, Kim Seokjin.”

---

Y/N emerged wrapped in a towel, shower bonnet on her head as the steam billowed from the shower in the bathroom shower. The smells wafting throughout the apartment made her mouth water as she removed the bonnet shaking her faux locs from their confines. Slipping into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, she padded back into the living room, going toward the kitchen. A man stood around, turned by the stove, stirring something in a pot. Smiling, she walked behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso.

“Something smells delicious.”

Jin laughed as he paused his stirring. Turning, he bent down to kiss her before focusing on the pot. “It’s almost done. Wanna taste?”

“Do you have to ask me?”

He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and scooped some of the sauce onto the spoon. He blew it gently before bringing it to her lips. Y/N tasted the sauce, humming at how delicious it was.

“Not bad, Mr. Kim.”

He laughed, putting the lid on the pot. “Not bad, my ass. It’s the best kimchi tofu soup ever.”

She scoffed, removing her hands from his torso, and grabbed bowls from the cabinets. “And feed your already bloated ego? You think so little of me.”

Jin smirked as he swatted her ass playfully and kissed her cheek. “I think of you just fine. You ready to eat?”

She nodded as she helped set the table. Jin brought out the side dishes, scooping the rice into two small bowls. They sat down moments later, and Jin opened a bottle of wine, pouring each a glass. Sitting there in silence felt calming. No yelling or arguments...just peace.

She spoke too soon.

Jin took a sip of his wine before digging into his soup. “How are you feeling?”

Y/N’s brow arched in curiosity. “In what way?”

His smile reached the corner of his mouth. “You’re being coy, but I meant the settlement and Namjoon.”

Her nose wrinkled in distaste. “Do we have to talk about that?”

“But as your lawyer–”

“Correction...yes, you are my lawyer, Jin; however, we are off the clock. I don’t want to talk about that right now, please.”

“Fine. But I do have one more question.”

Y/N gave a lackluster smile but urged him to continue.

“When am I going to meet Haneul?”

She blinked once. Then twice. Where was this all coming from? As she remained silent, Jin began to feel agitated.

“It’s not a difficult question, Y/N. I mean, we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year. Don’t you think it’s time?”

"No. No, I don't," she answered.

He stared at her in disbelief, frown lines forming on his face. "No?"

"No."

"Why?"

All she wanted was a quiet dinner with him. Was that so hard to ask? The last thing she wanted was to think about custody hearings and the divorce. It was hard enough taking a leave of absence was hard enough, and work helped her be distracted.

Y/N rubbed her nose bridge again to alleviate the pain between her eyes.

Why was he ruining this?

Standing, she met his gaze as her lips drooped into a frown.

“I think I should leave.”

Jin swore under his breath, rising from his seat. “Why are you being so dramatic? It’s just a question.”

Rolling her eyes upward, she stormed off, grabbing her belongings and shoving them into a bag. “I don’t have time for this, Jin.”

He followed her into the bedroom, watching her dress. “Then make time.”

Her posture straightened as she let out a hiss, eyes narrowing. “What did you say?”

He walked up to her crossing his arms over his expansive chest. “We knew what we were doing, starting something. You’re so caught up in what everyone will think; you can’t see that someone cares about you.”

His voice lowered, reaching out to grab her hand. “Y/N, please stay. It’s late, and I don’t want to upset you.”

She shook her head as Jin’s thumbs circled the top of her hands. The gesture calmed her nerves as she thought about what he had said. She didn't want to admit it, but he was right in some aspects. Sighing, she looked up at Jin and nodded.

“I get what you’re saying, but can we slow things down for a while? I want to be able to do things right this time.”

Jin leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. “Yes. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes for you.”

---

Namjoon stared out at the skyline, drink in hand. The condensation coated his fingers. Brows furrowed as his insecurities began to eat away at him. Why was he feeling like this? He hadn’t been able to shake the suspicious feeling since seeing Y/N in the elevator. Something was up, and he did like the unknown. Lost in his thoughts, he barely felt the hands encircling his waist. Lips pressing against his earlobe caused him to shudder. A smirk ghosted her face.

“Come back to bed.”

“Can’t sleep,” he muttered.

She frowned, reaching out to take the glass from his hands. “You’re drinking again.”

“Helps me get to sleep.”

“No, it doesn’t. Just makes the bad things go away temporarily.”

Namjoon let out a heavy sigh as he fought to roll his eyes. “You gonna lecture all night and ruin my buzz?”

She scoffed with a frown. “Not unless you come back to bed.”

“Soon.”

She sucked in her teeth, glaring at the back of his head. “Namjoon, you’re making this easy for me to decide.”

“Decide what?”

“To leave you completely.”

He turned to look at her with a stare of disbelief. “Tiffany, you can’t be serious.”

She crossed her hands over her chest. “Very. It was fun while it lasted, but you’re a mess.”

“I wasn’t messed up when you came here today,” he taunted. “It wasn’t messed up when you and I started this. Admit it, you didn’t care you were fucking a married man, and you sure didn’t care that it was the husband of your colleague.”

“You’re a bastard,” she hissed.

Smirking, he gripped her by the hair, tugging her toward him. “I know. Now kiss me.”

Her lips smashed against his as he laid claim once again. The glass slipped from his hands, falling to the floor in an earth-shattering crash, making her pull away momentarily.

“Leave it,” he murmured against her lips.

Picking her up by the waist, her legs wrapped around him instinctively. Namjoon pushed her against the glass, pushing her panties to the side; she moaned as she felt him enter without warning, gripping him by the hair as their grunts and pants filled the air.

There was no tenderness in the sex, just two people seeking their selfishness. And it worked for them. Namjoon’s head fell back, lost in lust as his thrust quickened.

“Fuck, Baby, you feel so good around my cock.”

She could only moan back in response.

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

Her eyes popped open as her hands dropped to his shoulders. “What the fuck did you say?”

The look on his face was of utter shock. “I–”

“Get the fuck off me,” she snapped.

Shoving him away after he placed her back on the ground, she avoided stepping on the glass as she gathered her things.

“Babe, let's talk about this.”

“There is nothing to discuss with you anymore. I’m done. You get your priorities together, Namjoon, or so help me.”

She placed her coat over her shoulders, slipped her heels on, and walked away without a word. All he could do was drop to the couch in disbelief.

What was he doing?

---

Y/N watched as Haneul ran around the playground with a smile spread across her face. It made her happy to see her daughter having so much fun. She sometimes regretted not giving her a sibling, especially since she came from a large family. But that time had passed in her mind. Would she want to go through it again? Would Jin even want to?

She shook the thoughts away as Haneul ran up to her, breathing hard.

“Eomma, did you see me in the jungle gym?”

“I did! You’ve gotten faster!”

“Appa helped last time,” she said with a smile.

Y/N strained a smile back as Haneul sat next to her. “Oh, he did.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I see.”

Haneul looked out at the scenery for a moment before speaking up again. “Is Appa going to come back to live with us?”

It was only a matter of time before Haneul questioned what was happening. She was far too observant of a child not to. Y/N dreaded the day it would come, but keeping her daughter in the dark wasn't fair.

“Next time Appa is with us, we’ll sit down and talk to you about it, okay?”

It seemed to satisfy her, and she got up again to play on the swings now that they were unoccupied.

“Mind if I sit here?”

She saw Namjoon standing beside her, holding three drinks in a carrier. She gestured for him to sit as she focused on Haneul.

“How are you doing, Y/N?”

“All things considered, I’m alright. Yourself?”

“More or less fine.”

“Good,” she answered.

He held out a cup to her with a small smile. “I got your favorite–a vanilla matcha latte, right?”

She took it from his hands with a tiny nod. “Yes. Thanks.”

After a minute of silence, Y/N spoke up. “We’ll have to explain things to Haneul at some point, and she’s asking many questions.”

He sipped his drink, taking in what she was asking. “When should we?”

“Sooner than later. I’m returning to work this week– maybe in a week or two. You can come over for dinner.”

He tried not to show too much emotion on his face. He hadn’t returned to their place in ages, and maybe this was the way back into their lives.

“Sounds good. I’ll call you to discuss details.”

Haneul noticed Namjoon as her eyes lit up. She jumped off the swings, much to Y/N’s protest, running up to her father and hugging him.

“Appa!”

“BunBun!”

She chatted animatedly with him as Y/N watched on. It almost felt like old times, and it was practically the calm before an even more significant storm— one they weren’t prepared for.

---

Y/N washed her hands as she turned to her patient with a warm smile. “I’ll send my nurse in to administer your shot. I’ll have your new prescription ready at the reception desk, and you can schedule a follow-up with me in six weeks.”

Walking out, she almost collided with one of the Nurse Practitioners.

“Oh, Dr. Kim!”

Y/N’s lips pressed thin as she stared at her unmoving. The woman felt uneasy under her gaze.

“You should be more aware of your surroundings, Tiffany,” she murmured with a slight edge.

Tiffany muttered an apology as she cast her eyes down at the ground. “Apologies, I haven't been in the right headspace today.”

Y/N shook her head, still lacking her normal empathy. “Maybe you should have taken the day off–”

Suddenly Tiffany hunched over, vomiting right in front of Y/N all over the floor. Nurses looked up from their computers and rushed over, fussing at Tiffany. A few bowed to Y/N as they ushered her away. Something felt off to Y/N. Her stomach twisted in knots. Giving the front desk her instructions, she rushed off in the direction they walked off with Tiffany. She found her in the physician's lounge in one of the beds. With a cold compress on her head, she brushed off the nurses standing around her. Once they noticed Y/N standing there, they hurried away, avoiding her gaze.

As Tiffany began to sit up, Y/N shook her head.

“No need to do that. Rest.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, staring hard at the lines in the hardwood.

“Dr. Kim–”

“How long?”

Tiffany’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

The sound that left Y/N's mouth was equal parts exhaustion and exasperation. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she met her gaze.

“You can stop playing innocent, Tiffany. Admit it. You’re pregnant.”

Silent tears fell as she covered her face away from Y/N. “How did you know?”

“Doesn’t matter. How far along are you?”

“I have an appointment tomorrow to find out.”

“Does he know?”

“No. I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ll figure it out,” she exited the room. “But you need to tell him. I mean it.”

As Y/N closed the door behind her, she felt the air deflating from her lungs. The lump in her throat grew as she nearly ran back to her office.

Once the door shut, she slid to the floor and sobbed quietly.

Things were always going to be different now.

---

If looks could kill.

Y/N and Jin sat across from Namjoon and Tiffany in the restaurant, and her ex looked as pissed as she felt. When Y/N suggested dinner, the last thing he expected was to see Jin sitting across from him.

So they were together. His temper rose by the minute, but he had to keep it in check. Otherwise, Y/N would have more arsenal to use against them in their case.

He sipped his whiskey, trying to seem interested in the small talk, but he couldn’t help but notice Y/N's body language with Jin. Nothing like his, and that didn’t sit well with him.

“I’m curious as to why you called this dinner, Y/N,” he said, interrupting the conversation.

Y/N set her fork down to glance at Namjoon. “Well, it only seemed fair to get everything out in the open. You and Tiffany are starting a family, and I have been seeing Seokjin for some time now.”

“Isn't this a bit extreme?”

“No. I don’t think so. Let’s look at the facts; Tiffany is...what, three months pregnant. If you look at the time frame–”

Jin put his hand over Y/N’s. “Honey, maybe this isn’t the place.”

She snatched her hand away. “No, I’m going to finish my thought,” her eyes flashed in anger and hurt at her soon-to-be ex-husband, “The timeframe shows that she got pregnant while we were still together before the separation. Legally, this breaks our clause, so you better sign the papers, Namjoon, or I will make your life hell. I mean it.”

Namjoon slammed his glass down, scowling at Y/N. “You think I wanted this to happen?!”

“Don’t play the victim here. You both are guilty and knew what the fuck you were doing. I’m tired of all this. Just let our marriage go, Namjoon. I’ve moved on, and you need to do the same.”

She was throwing it away like that. Tiffany tried to console him, but he moved away from her as he pouted. Jin cleared his throat, looking at him.

“I care about Y/N. Can you see what this is doing to her? It’s better this way.”

The last thing she wanted was to shed more tears for this man, but she stood so fast the chair fell back from her seat.

“I loved you unconditionally, Namjoon. Did any of it mean anything? I wanted this marriage to work and I poured my life into it. We wanted our family to grow, and you ruined it for selfish reasons. I’m done. Officially. Goodbye, Namjoon.”

She got up and ran out of the restaurant. Jin nodded to the remaining couple, grabbed his and Y/N’s things, and walked outside. From his position, he could see Jin wrapping Y/N in his arms. She leaned into his touch, letting him take care of her. He kissed the top of her head, making a smile appear on her face. He took her hand, kissed her knuckles, and led her away.

Tiffany turned to stare at Namjoon, questioning the last few minutes.

“What are you going to do about this?”

Namjoon called for the waiter to refill his glass. He watched the amber liquid pour into his drink and nodded once it was filled. Raising his glass to Tiffany, he brought the glass to his lips.

“Cheers.”