#BTS Book

[k-nayee]

Sex Positions ot7

wc: 3.3k

Dreamer M.List

⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

NAMJOON | The Love-Seat position

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 not much being said when it's already known that Namjoon is both a sweetheart AND a complete Daddy.

Some days he'd fuck the soul out of you like a one-night stand while on others, he makes sweet passionate love as if it's your first time.

Despite the major difference, it's often a mixture of the two; hence why this position is the most favored.

And today seemed like a perfect reason for it the moment he saw you walk through that front door.

Now if it had been any other day, you would have given him a hard time. But with the exhaustion from work and one look at his irresistible dimpled smile, your usual brattiness crumbled.

Within minutes, both of you stripped out of your clothes to indulge in one another.

You shudder at the way his arms wrapped around your waist, your bodies moving at a slow rhythmic pace as if following the beats to a song.

Had it not been for such a strong restraint, Namjoon would have already cummed from the sinful moans and whines that fell from your bruised lips when begging for him to move faster.

It's safe to say that he loves to tease you until your a withering mess.

But what Namjoon loves even more is the sound of your breath hitching in shock at the sudden brutal pace of pistoning in and out of you.

"What was that ____? I couldn't hear. You mind repeating that one more time?"

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SEOKJIN | The Up-the-wall position

It's always assumed that since Jin held the view of being one of the most average in the group, his go-to is vanilla sex.

HELL TO THE NAW.

Second to Taehyung, he's the most off-the-chart ass nigga you've ever met in your entire life.

It doesn't even take much for him to want to fuck you into oblivion.

The second he saw you enter the room, he knew he'd be inside you by the end of the night.

It wasn't much of a shock of how barely an hour had passed before he's finally had enough.

Dragging you into the next room over it's unknown to the other members that you're pushed up against the wall, mouth dropped open in silent gasps as he thrusts up into you.

Eyes crinkling in amusement at the sight of you biting your lips to keep in moans, Jin teasingly kisses you on the nose.

A low groan leaves his throat at the way your hands tightly grip his hair for stability, his plump lips trail down your neck only to leave hues of dark blues and purples in its wake.

You nearly start to cry in desperation once his hands grab one of your legs and lift it higher causing him to go in even deeper than before.

"Shh, Jagiya, we wouldn't want the others to hear you. That's if...you don't mind giving them a free show?"

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HOSEOK | The Doggy Style Position...IN THE PRACTICE ROOM

What started as a possibility after you drunkenly confessed this lewd fantasy became a normal occurrence.

Hoseok was one for trying out new things with you, so what made this any different?

It was late at night when both of you separated from the others in their night out and somehow ended up in one of Hybe's practice rooms.

Hoseok, being the sneak he was, had the whole plan set out: from the scented candles creating a dim lighting to the low timbre music.

You gasped in shock at the romantic setting laid out in front of you before showering the idol with words of love and kisses.

But that gasp of shock later quickly turned into breathless gasps of pleasure as you looked at the mirror.

It was almost too much to watch the way Hoseok's hands gripped your hips as he pounded into you a way that only a dancer could.

Head falling, you squeak at the sudden grip of his hand around your neck, forcing you to look up and meet his dark feral gaze in the reflective glass.

He takes in your fucked out appearance with a lopsided smirk, knowing it's gonna be a long while before he finishes with you.

"Nah, don't close those eyes babygirl, you wanted this. So keep your head up and watch every second of it."

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YOONGI | The Cowgirl Position

When Yoongi finally comes home, he's barely able to stand from the many hours of dance practice and producing.

With the Sun not even making its appearance yet, it was much of a surprise to find you still awake in the early morning.

No words are said when he slides under the cover and pulls you close to cuddle.

It wasn't long before the urge to be even closer caused the action of small kisses, and it definitely didn't take that long for it to end up with Yoongi observing the slow pace of your rocking hips with lidded eyes.

Soft sighs and groans fill the room as you place your hands on his chest, the stark contrast of your darker skin against his pale one causes his heart to skip a beat.

The both of you were teetering to the brink of sleep, but not enough to where you wanted to stop. Lazy sex at its finest if I do say so myself.

"You look so beautiful above me. If staying up all day and tiring myself out means I get to be inside you like this, I'll do it forever."

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JIMIN | The Face-Off Position

Jimin has known from the start of dating that you've always had an adoration for his thighs.

But there's another reason as to why he would want to have you riding him that way.

And from one Libra to another, that reason is praise and attention.

Getting the opportunity to see a close-up view of all of the facial expressions and cries of pleasure you do from his dickmatizing thrusts is what Jimin LIVES for.

It's what boosts his confidence to do the risky things you've always dreamed of doing such as leaving the bedroom door open for an unsuspecting band member to pass by or having all the curtains and windows wide open for the world to see.

He loves to hear your cries for more, welcoming the blunt sting of your nails digging into his shoulders as your eyes close with bliss.

But the one thing Jimin loves most is when he's able to witness the moment where he hits that one spot and nearly causes your soul to leave your body.

"How good is this dick doing you [Nickname]? Should I go even deeper than before?"

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TAEHYUNG | The Spooning Position

As the morning sun shines into the room, there you both are: naked as the day you were born with only a thin sheet for coverage.

His love-filled eyes take in the way your skin glows in the light until he couldn't hold off any longer.

With one arm laying under your head for support and the other wrapped around your waist, he gently enters you with a sigh of content.

Had it not been for the intense rocking of your hips, it would just seem to be him holding you in a close embrace.

He nuzzles into your neck, shivers run down your spine at the sound of his deep voice cooing encouraging words of you to cum once more after the first two.

Taehyung adores to have sex with you this way and tries to do it any chance he can.

Both the chance of cuddling and making love to the one that holds his heart at the same time? That's a hell yes.

"You're taking me in so well Jagiya. Just cum for me one more time and we'll stop okay?"

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JUNGKOOK | The 69 Position

With both of you having a reputation of being good at almost any and everything, the tendency to show off was a daily occurrence.

It's what caused a very irritated Yoongi to kick you out of the apartment with an 'always gotta one-up the other. How about doing all of us a favor and fuck off somewhere else?' weighing heavily in your minds.

Observing your pouting face with a smirk, Jungkook slyly reveals that even if you were good at certain things he would still be better at lasting longer.

Despite snorting at the maknae's words in disbelief, your competitive side refused to back down at the blatant challenge.

Pulling him all the way to your home you immediately got to work. I mean how could you not?

The bet of one's pride lays on the line.

Nothing seemed to matter other than trying to get the other to crumble.

Yet, even so, it seemed to become a more difficult task as sweat begins to build upon your now sensitive bodies.

Large calloused hands grip your thighs in the determination of making you cum first.

While a cocky smirk appears on his face at the sound of your struggle to keep in the moans, his heart swells with pride for being the reason behind them.

"Are you sure you're not going to break yet? I can feel you tightening around my tongue ____."

[bts-trans]

230621 Big Hit's Tweet

‘BEYOND THE STORY : 10-YEAR RECORD OF BTS’

#BEYOND_THE_STORY #BTS #RM #Jin #SUGA #jhope #Jimin #V #Jungkook

(See photos for image translations.)

Trans cr; Annie Typeset cr; XPXOXD @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

[stormblessed95]

PDF File for anyone who is unable to afford the BTS Book here:

💜💜💜 Enjoy!!

Thanks to the wonderful ARMYs who provide so much of their content to everyone else

[vkookthingsposts]

them 🤍

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

Be aware... an autobiography is never the whole truth

So, Twitter, Instgram and TikTok is a bit of a shitshow at the moment, all because some in the fandom have received the book early. Obviously, it has galvanised some shippers with interesting (but not connected titles) to misrepresented events that don't paint the whole picture.

Things to keep in mind...

The author is an employee of HYBE, he's an editor at Weverse Magazine.

Most authorise biographies would hire an external author not connected to artist in so directly, but HYBE choose someone internal to help control the narrative.

It (probably) took 2 to 3 years to research, compile, write and edit this book. So, focuses heavily of on the original contract phase and crams 3 years into 1 chapter.

The sections I've read, read a little like the editor comments on events in content like In The Soop or Run BTS. The frame the words spoken by the members in such a way to lead to you a specific conclusion. Like in the Date Night in In the Soop.

So, in another 10 years' time expect a second biography equally has manipulated.

I understand why HYBE have done it this way, I don't agree with it. That's why we should always look directly to the members for anything resembling the 100% truth.

[mrs-monaghan]

You know Shaz the tkkers issues is not a laughing matter. I mean how stupid can one be, at this point it's either they are really stupid or they're acting stupid. Not only did GCF in Tokyo made them have sleepless nights when it was released because it was their worst nightmare they've now decided to come with a different narrative which makes absolutely no sense like I get that they are beyond delulu but I didn't think they would be schizophrenic.

I done wasted my prayers not even god can help them at this point. Watch how miss Jennie will come out preggos( in future) and they will demand a DNA test smh

In other great news Minimoni isn't the only ship being debunked. Vmin, got debunked as well ☺Vmin is under

While Jikook is under

Tihihihiihihihihi 🤭🤭

Also omg!!!

But we already knew, didn't we?

I fucking love this 😅😅😅

Oh, almost forgot. More moments coming in

[akookminsupporter]

https://twitter.com/armybtstudy_twt/status/1669037189097836544?s=46&t=BTKUp1GWduvaU-hmoBxITA

For those who might not be able to afford the book.

Ahhh thank you!!! This is great!

[ohtheylovetolietoyou]

"we were a team that survived only thanks to the army."— BTS, Beyond The Story

[dearweirdme]

I find it really strange that Tkk's close friendship was not brought up in the Beyond The Story book. Especially because they made a point to address some significant Vmin and Jikook moments. I mean Tkk were certainly very close and had a significant influence on eachother atleast during the earlier years , and this was acknowledged by other members. Do you think this was intentional or that I may be reading too much into it?

Hi anon!

Mmm, well.. the book is very much the company narrative right. Is a polished up version if events i’d say. No way will BH allow a book to be published with the actual truth, about anything. The narrative is that Tae and Jk drifted apart at one point. Most they get in any case is that Tae helped Jk get out of his shell when they were young. When it’s so obviously more than that. Even if you do consider them to have drifted apart… what about later years? The ITS talk was to show them as friends again, Jk even ending his interview with a sort of intro to what’s to come (sorted things out, back to how it used to be, but not completely 🙄). Tae and Jk after that were super close! And yet.. the pair that’s referred to as soulmates.. is Vmin. Even that is weird to me, since I would consider Tae and Jk closer, but arguably also Jimin and Jk, and Jimin and Hobi. Not that Jimin and Tae aren’t close, but.. are they closest (someone also commented about this in another ask’s comments, and yea I agree)?

So the book, while a great chronological narrative, to me does not portray the whole story and leaves out certain things while portraying others in a better light (Bh can’t make Bh look bad).

[jiinjiinjarra]

BTS // Book // "Beyond The Story: 10-year Record of BTS" // 2023

Photos from the Book & Photocards (2/7)

Scan Cr. jiinjiinjarra (me)

[k-nayee]

Lashes Kim Line + Jungkook

wc: 1.7k

Dreamer M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

𝐘𝐎𝐔 stumble into your bedroom with a tired sigh, body sagging in exhaustion from working all day.

"Hey baby," The sound of your lover's voice reaches your ears as you finally kick off those dammed heels, "tough day?"

You could only let out a dry laugh at his question. "Yeah, you could say that. Was this close to finally beating Mal's ass though."

Already knowing who you were talking about, he chuckles. "That lady from HR? What she do now?"

Rolling your eyes, you walk towards the closet, giving him a quick peck on the lips before continuing on. "The bitch gon have the audacity to make the only unit consisting of Asian and Black people do a racial diversity and inclusion seminar due to the complaints of microaggressions being made."

If it weren't for the frustration laced in your voice, the stiff and rough movements of you changing into comfier clothes made it apparent of your anger.

Knowing its best to just let you burn it out instead of trying to calm you down, he hypes you up. "You lyin! She did that? Mmmm mmm mmm! Trifling as hell for that..."

You turn to face him with wide eyes, hand on your hips. "Right?! As if we weren't the ones who made the fucking complaints in the first place! Ended up having to do overtime to make up for the work we missed all day."

He only shakes his head in disappointment. "I'm not surprised."

"Yeah, would've been high-tailed my ass outta there if the pay wasn't too good to give up." You grumble, sliding into bed to get ready for sleep.

Twisting and turning around to get comfortable, you stop at the heavy feeling of someone gazing at you.

"Why are staring at me like that? I got something on my face?"

He breaks out of his trance and give you a sheepish smile. "I just realized you still had makeup on. You sure you wanna sleep in it?"

A moment of silence pass before you let out a groan. "Damn! Forgot I had some on. Was so tired I skipped my whole night routine."

Throwing the off the blankets with a sigh, a pout appears at thought of being in the bathroom longer than you wanted.

"You know...I-I can help. Especially since you don't wear that much makeup."

You freeze at his proposal, eyes narrowed at the pros and cons.

"And you'll be done much faster~"

At those words, you immediately give in. "Okay I guess"

"Yes!" He jumps up in excitement and scurries after you like a lost puppy. "So what I'm gonna do? Will I put on the face mask? Rub in your face serum? Ooo! Can you do me too—"

"Wooooah! Slow down! We taking one step at a time. So to start, you can help take off my eyelashes."

SEOKJIN

The excitement he had in the beginning quickly faded away into nervousness once he was actually doing it.

"Okay...so...do I just—"

"Yes Jin. For the last time, I promise it doesn't hurt when taking them off. Just use the cotton ball I gave you, put some coconut oil on it, and wipe it on my upper and lower lashes."

'Oil? What if she get some in her eyes? Is she sure about a cotton ball? Won't a q-tip work better?' Despite being confused and having many questions, he carefully follows your instructions.

Ten minutes pass of him slowly dabbing at the glue that's on your real lashes to ensure everything will come off.

Even though you're touched at how careful he's being, your fatigue causes you to become impatient, lips pursed to prevent yourself from cursing him out.

Right as he's done with the first eye, you step back with a bright smile. "Alright! I can take it from here babe."

Jin looks at you in confusion, though internally happy with no longer having to do the next one. "But I didn't get to the second o—"

"Don't worry about it! You did so well I realized how bad I usually do it myself. So Imma start practicing," spewing out the first bullshit that came to mind, you push him out the bathroom door.

Jin could only blink, raised hands still holding the cotton ball and removed eyelash. "O-okay. Let me know if you need help with—"

"Won't be necessary. See you in a little bit!" Before he could get another word out, you shut the door in his face.

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TAEHYUNG

"Okay Tae, all you gotta do is put some oil on the cotton ball, rub it on the lashes, and viola~ them bad boys coming off."

Taehyung could only narrow his eyes at the instructions. "Why can't you just take them off? I saw you do it before."

You scratch the side of your with a sheepish grin. "I did do that huh? Okay, let's just pull 'em of—"

"Aight, bet." Just as he finish those words, he reaches up and rip them off.

Mouth gaped open in shock, your mind tries to process what just happened. It wasn't until Taehyung's poking broke you out of it.

"Motherfucker! You almost pulled out my real ones!" You exclaim while rubbing your eyes.

He visibly deflates at the realization at what he'd done. "Sorry, I was too excited."

Seeing how genuine he was, you decide to forgive him.

"You know," as he continues to pout, you discreetly pick up the eyelash glue and another pair of lashes, "I can put some on you if ya want~"

Perking up at the sight of the materials, Taehyung's excitement appears. "Really?! Can you get me some bigger ones while you're at it?"

"Alright, but you have to hold still if you want me to do them right."

He scrambles to the toilet seat and sit down with no hesitation. After minuets of constant scolding to get him to stop squirming, you're finished putting them on.

"All done!" With a clap of your hands, you step back to take in the final result.

'Damn! He pretty as fuck!' You almost couldn't believe how good he looked with them on, a twinge of jealously shooting through your mind at how natural it seemed.

"Soooooo...how do I look?"

Shaking your head to get rid of the jealous thoughts, you look at him with giddy smile of your own, pulling him up to the mirror. "Why don't you come see for yourself?"

A low gasp of awe escapes the vocalist as he studies the long lashes on his face. "This. Is. So. COOL!"

Bouncing on his feet in excitement, he runs out of the bathroom with a big smile.

"Wai-where are you going?!"

"Oh nothing..." He pokes his head back into the bathroom with a mischievous grin. "Just finna go fuck with Yoongi and give him some butterfly kisses."

"See that's why you keep getting your ass beat! You know he hates it when you mess with him."

"Nah, he ain't gonna do shit. Besides, I'm too cute to get hit" With an air kiss and a flutter of his lashes, he runs out of the room once more, "toodles~ be back in an hour."

"This dumbass right here!"

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NAMJOON

"Um ____?"

"Yes Joon?" Back facing him as you collect your cleaning materials, you're unable to see his fidgeting.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?"

You let out a small laugh and turn towards him with a smile. "Of course! Now come here so you can help."

With small timid steps, he's finally in front of you.

"Now," you lift up the bottle of coconut oil and a cotton ball, "all you need to do is put some of this oil on the ball and wipe it like this."

Carefully wiping some of the oil on your upper and lower lashes, you wait a moment and simply pull the lash extension off. "And tada~ As easy as pie. I took the liberty of doing one for demonstration. You think you can do it?"

Seeing how simple the action was, Namjoon gives a dimpled smile. "Sure, of course."

"And to lessen the pressure, I'll have my eyes closed." Following through with your words, you close them. "Ready when you are..."

Namjoon's nerves gets the best of him once more and causes his mind to blank out for a moment before shaking his head.

'Alright Joon, its a simple task. Just dab the eye and take them off. What's so hard about that?'

Shakily picking up a clean cotton ball, he rubs it on your lashes.

'Rub the cotton ball on the eye? Check...Now to just take it off.'

Your brows slightly furrow when he rubs your eye with the soft material. The usual feeling of the oil weighing on your eyes was absent. 'Damn...this feeling kinda dry'

"Hey Joon?"

He subconsciously lets out a hum as he continue to focus on taking your lashes off. 'Just take it off like a bandaid. Aaaaaand...'

"Did you remember to add oil to the cotton ball?"

'NOW!'

"FUCK!"

Namjoon rapidly blinks at the sound of your scream as he breaks out of his trance. "Huh?"

"Joon!" Your pained cries fill the bathroom as you hold your eye in pain. "What the hell did you do?!"

Looking down at his hand, he sees that he succeeded in taking off the lashes. Only to do a double take when seeing a smaller set with small white hair follicles attracted to the bottom. "Oh..."

....he ripped off your real eyelashes

"GODDAMITNAMJOON! YOU HAD ONE JOB!"

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JUNGKOOK

"C'mon ____, you taking too long! Hurry up!"

You roll your eyes at Jungkook's constant pestering. "Kook calm down! Just let me oil the lashes up first."

It was Jungkook's turn to roll his eyes. "You doing too much. If you just don't rip them off!"

"Rip them off?! Do it look like I wanna be bald in the eyes?"

He smacks his lips at your words. "I've seen people do it plenty of times. Just a lil pull and they off."

"Do I look like other people? If everybody else jumping off a bridge, you gonna do it too?"

"But ____!" Jungkook lets out a whine, stepping closer to you with a pout as he eyes the lashes.

Picking up on what he was going to do, you immediately back away with thrown up hands. "Back the fuck up Kook! I know what you trying to do. You rip off my lashes and imma beat yo ass."

He steps back with a sigh. "Fine."

"That's what I thought." You turn back around and grab the cotton ball and coconut oil, ready to start the process.

As you pour the oil on the ball, you fail to notice Jungkook sneaking up beside you.

"Hey ____?"

"What?"

After a moment of silence, you look at him with furrowed brows, mouth pull into a sneer of irritation. "Dude I just said what! Stop playing arou—"

"YEET!"

Quicker than you could react, Jungkook grabs both of your lashes and yank them off.

"WHAT THE FUCK KOOK!?"

He cackles at your angered expression, holding the fake lashes in his hands as if they were a trophy. "Told you they'll come off~"

You swiftly look in the mirror only to silently release a sigh of relief when seeing that your real lashes are still intact.

"You better be lucky I ain't missing nothing! Cause if I was, I'm cutting your shit off too...that and your eyebrows. Gone end up looking like Voldemort in this bitch!"

"Yeah yeah," he brushes off your warning with a flip of the wrist, "let me know when you need some more help 'kay?"

"Tough titty, cause this the last time you ever gonna help me!"

[kookiecrush]

I'm reading the bts book spoilers on twitter 😭😭😭

I'm not kidding when I say I was just crying reading some of them. It's breaking my heart 🥺. The struggles they've been through, the shit they've had to put up with, the disrespect they've endured, and for what reason? Because they came from a small company? Because they weren't as well known as other groups? Because they dared to have a dream? They were just boys! They were just boys, some of them were still teenagers, and they didn't deserve to be treated like that.

But look what it did. It made them stronger. More resilient. More determined. Now they're global superstars with the world at their feet. They went further and achieved far greater than any of those people who used to mock them and treat them like dirt.

They struggled so, so much, physically and mentally, and they deserve all the success they have achieved. They've worked so hard, and I am so, so proud of them 🥹.

[rainbowsuitcase]

Most of the "armys" I've seen have a negative reaction to the book seem to be disappointed that it hasn't given them what they wanted. They were excited for a confirmation of their ship or an admission of mistreatment from the company. Since they didn't get that, they cry that it makes sense because in the end, the book was written by the company and they would never publish something like that.

That's the problem with conspiracy theories about something being kept a secret. It honestly reminds me of Larries from the One Direction fandom. Everything that confirms their theory is the truth and everything that doesn't - including statements from the included members themselves - is a lie, a fake, a stunt pushed by the company and therefore should not be supported.

Everyone fan is different and everyone supports their artists differently but honestly, this seems like a pretty miserable way to do it. I hope you learn to be happier.

[vkookthingsposts]

made for each other 🤍

[aliceyinh]

reading the book just has me feeling a special type of way. there's so much nostalgia mixed with sadness & anger, I don't really know how to deal with all of it. I'd always hoped BTS didn't know about the full extend of the hate against them, that somehow their busy lives sheltered them a little bit but to read all of that... it's heartbreaking in every type of way.

But there's also a part of me who reads about all that passion, desperation and greed, it reminds me of person I used to be during hyyh & wings era and ironically I get even sadder because that person is now so much older but all of her dreams were never answered...

[nopointic]

it hurts my heart reading all the spoilers from the new BTS book not because they're spoilers, but because of how much sadness the guys went through. i met them in 2020. they could have ended in 2018 or 2019.

if it wasn't for BTS i would be in such a bad place right now.

because of them, specially Namjoon saying "your anger is valid", i left a job i thought i wanted my whole life. i went to this short school to be a medical assistant to work my way up the medical field because i've always wanted to be a doctor as a kid. well i got the cma job and it was awful. my first job at a hospital was bad, so i thought being at a doctor's office would be better. my boss was a raging racist who treated he staff of black workers like shit.

i was listening to Love by Namjoon everyday just letting the vibes heal me. i was so happy getting off work to listen to that particular song. i started to learn korean. i actually googled it and came across this huge youtuber who learned korean on her own and now lives in south korea. she talked about language school and a light bulb went off in my head. i was like, that's an option? this can be more than a hobby of mine to destress? because i love learning and i love learning how to communicate with others.

i quit my medical assistant job and gave up on being a doctor. after nearly over 2 decades of wanting it so bad. i kept getting blocked from it. and today i realized why. because it wasn't meant for me.

i finally understand the phrase "god (higher power of any sort) closes a door to protect you"

i could be tens of thousands of dollars in debt right now if i went to school to be a doctor. hundreds of thousands of dollars in fact. i'm not. i'm debt free at 31. not a lot of 90s babies can say that. and that makes me feel so lucky and grateful.

i suffer severe depression. i thought not getting to go to college was the worst thing that ever happened to me. turns out it was a blessing in disguise.

i now have new goals that make my heart actually happier. all thanks to BTS. to Namjoon's wordplay in Love. his vlog to ARMY about how our feelings and anger matter.

i'm so incredibly grateful for BTS being in my life. they helped me come to terms with the military trauma i suffered being in the usa air force as a teenager. i was just burying it and seeing them have to enlist gave me the courage to process my grief of being 19 and starting my hellish process of getting enlisted.

on good days or reflective days i do think everything happens for a reason. i mean, during my gratitude journaling i smile to myself thinking, all this pain in my life, all that grief, led me to 7 men in BTS and they make me so happy.

i took my first solo vacation to see Yoongi in concert at 31! the most ghetto stadium i s2g on the whole tour list, but i got to go! and i saw Jimin too! like i'm so incredibly proud of myself for traveling from georgia to new jersey by myself. i didn't think i could do it and i did!

i just wish them all the happiness and comfort in the world. they have given me so much! so much! i am forever thankful they stayed together and stayed in this music industry because i got to meet them.

and it's so wild because a lot of our last 10 years crossed at so many points and i'm like, wow, is this fate? was all this meant to be? it's weird sometimes looking back on this last decade. like i have minor ocd, and i avoided purple like the plague. and now? i have purple everything! purple and pink! i'm like, this is huge for me ok. they have just helped me so much.

i love them and i wish them all the love in the world. thank you BTS for making my life so much more filling. y'all gave me a new reason to live. i'm forever thankful.

borahae!