#BRUH I COULD ONLY USE BTS ONCE

[octuscle]

Hey support. Quick question. Lately this group of guys on campus has been gravitating toward me in a kinda weird way. They’re super preppy guys: polo shirts, cologne, pressed khakis, conservative haircuts, that whole sort of thing. They’re really nice and honestly very handsome—prettyboy faces with some nicely toned muscle—but, frankly, the way they all talk the same, always hang out together, and have the same (properly preppy) interests kind of freaks me out. They’re like pod people. Idk why they’ve taken such a curiosity in me: I’ve never been very preppy or stylish at all. Anyway, they invited me over to their dorm tomorrow, but I saw one of them carrying a chronoviac…any idea what I should expect if I go? Should I go?

Well… In my opinion, you should definitely go there. From what I see in my files, these guys are virtuosos in the use of the Chronivac. You can look forward to the results.

You put on your clothes that are most likely to pass for "preppy". You comb your hair. And go on your way. Another student is waiting in front of the house. Similar appearance as you. Pretty average. Quite preppy. But could just as easily pass for a member of the chess team. The door opens and an immaculately dressed frat guy invites you in and leads you into a library. There are two tables, each with an iPad on it. You may sit down. There would now be a small entrance test for the fraternity. If you pass, you will become probationary preppies. Otherwise you will leave the dorm and will not get a chance to repeat the test.

Hey, you think to yourself, that's great. So, worst case scenario, nothing happens. Let's do it.

The test only takes a few minutes. You are to enter for four abbreviations what they stand for. Please use the iPads for this. You and the other candidate look at each other, shake hands and take your seats. The first abbreviation is BMW. Fuck! "Bavaria" and " Motors" is what you guess. But W? Ways? Your tutor congratulates your competitor. Yes, it stands for "Bayerische Motoren Werke". You look enviously at your opponent's iPad. Did he already have manicured fingers? You look at your hands. Okay, the nails aren't exactly clean. And you have quite a few horny calluses.

The next question is what "bt" means on an invitation. You have no idea… You've never read it. You write beer time. Fits BMW somehow. The tutor congratulates the other guy again. The solution was "black tie". Who should know something like that? The idiot grins over his clean-shaven face. You're itching your three-day beard. Shit, now you have to try harder!.

Now they ask for LVMH. What the hell? LVMH? Might have something to do with the British king. Long Vita Majesty Highness? Shit, time's up. Of course the other guy knew it stood for Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy. You don't even know what that means. You scratch your tousled hair. Your opponent, grinning, corrects a less-than-perfect strand of his slicked hair.

We come to the last question. Your last chance not to make a total fool of yourself. But you're getting tired of these stuffy wimps. What does Snob stand for? Hehehe! That's a trick question. Snob is not an abbreviation at all. You write that down. To learn that it stands for sine nobilitas. Fuck!

A few other preppies enter the room and ask your opponent to come along. He puts on his expensive looking jacket, nods at you once more and turns around.

Your tutor says he's sorry, but unfortunately you have no chance of being accepted into the frat. You scratch your hairy six-pack and are relieved. You'd rather be throwing some balls with the other guys anyway.

"Nah worries, bruh. It's been fun. See you on campus" you reply, grabbing your glove and ball and you head out of this boring house.

[wewebaggit]

I think it was because he was abused or something and apparently had drinking problems? Like bruh you cannot claim to use subversion of 80s horror genre tropes and at the same breath make your black character one of the victims without even focusing on it. Its just...? St can really use some criticism sometimes

Yep it was because he had drinking problems and was a disgrace to his family as per the voiceover that Patrick and we hear as he's riding in the car with Jason n the gang. And then Lucas mentions that he once saw him with a black eye. That's it. That's all.

Patrick deserved way better. Even discounting the fact that he's black. The same episode had the stupid mid air fight between Murray Yuri and Jim's girlfriend. That lasted longer than necessary. That existed. Both valid reasons for having a more fleshed out buildup to THE MOTHERFUCKING SACRIFICE FOR ONE OF THE FOUR (NOT FOURTEEN) GATES.

Maybe if they cooled it on Eleven slow jogging through the lab, eyes wide, breathing heavily and emoting nothingly, Jopper doomsday fucking, Elmike/Mileven, (God stop milking it, it's not great writing, we are gaslighting ourselves to believe it is cuz there was a time we thought the most they'd do for gay Will is have his best friend say something INCREDIBLY HOMOPHOBIC to him), a Russian plot sillier than season 3's - fucking talent, I could go on we could've had something justifying (at the risk of sounding repetitive) A MOTHERFUCKING SACRIFICE FOR ONE OF THE FOUR (NOT FOURTEEN) GATES.

Also leaving you with some of this:

Jason to Patrick

Mike to Lucas

Billy to Max about Lucas

Mike about the science fair contest

(Let me elaborate: It was a state competition and the result was political? MY conjecture is it was not because of frogface or a boy with no teeth or a boy who his town thought was queer - I'm suspecting it wasn't a statewide consensus. Who's left?)

Jason with Lucas

Andy with Erica

I'm not American so I'm not someone who gets the whole American experience of it. But American cultural colonisation means I'm somewhat aware of the tendencies in media. N to me personally I don't resonate with a white/black/brown American character on a racial level but just by how they're written n how well the work is performed. I do not live in a post racial world bt my country has its own different version of racism. That is to say any character being white/other colour is of ZERO value to me. So when I am consuming foreign media, I'll be like this is well written that is not. But then when I arrange them in order of well written to not or underwritten, it's a shade card alright. (🙋🏻🙆🏼🙅🏽🤷🏾🤦🏿) So ya. It's like white ppl tend to write white ppl better. What a discovery. Idk if to call it racist or "I don't see colour" in that I only see white cuz it is not a colour. (How is that for colour theory?) That is NOT to say that X CANNOT at all write about Y. Writing is after all a collaborative effort. It just means you gotta do both: collaborate and put effort.

ST exploits the tropes more than / before it subverts them. And like not in a good way. It's a fantastic show with plenty of opportunity to love it and shit on it in unequal measure tipping more in favour of shitting. And I'll be doing both. Especially regarding the characters that don't go by the name of Mike or Eleven. But them too.

You'll also see me Kali raging soon. Very soon. She might also be (DEFINITELY IS) why I have this whole new account anyway.

El's abuse > Kali's abuse. Okay. At least accepted within text by the writers. Want the "yass girlboss El shoulda snapped Angela's neck for....er...breaking your diorama and ....er......throwing milkshake on you" crowd to respectfully go. Just go. Go Away!

[eoieopda]

hali……….

the fact that you are this creative and talented and just — here ? blessing us for free ? like it’s casual ?? and i’m, what, supposed to be normal about being in love with you ?!??

✨ rambling below the cut ✨ but tldr; READ THIS RIGHT NOW.

the stream of consciousness nobody asked for because dumping thoughts into my notes app is the new live-tweeting or something idk

“I don't know why I reference frogs so much please forgive me” has me passing away already. remember me as i was ☠️

okay, first paragraph and i am having vivid flashbacks to growing up in [redacted] where there is a giant fucking billboard that screams “HELL IS REAL.” i am being transported to rural religious america eeeeeep

BRUH THE DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE!! i feel clammy and it’s literally a gas pump SOS

local police are of no help, you say? 🤔 are you sure this isn’t nonfiction 🤔🤔

the real bts lore of hobi opening shit with his teeth. this is 👌🏻 realism 👌🏻

don’t tell them i’m a witch / you can join my coven then — staaaaaahp i love this

yes, reader, it is strange. it’s all VERY STRANGE.

as someone whose other half is their sister, the history of reader & hanna as two lil spooky beebs on a couch is squeezing my heart so much 😭 i can literally taste the movie night snacks. fuck, the 🤌🏻 nostalgia 🤌🏻!!

um this sleep paralysis scene is incredibly well-written, and then you !!!! “It’s like you know you’re thinking, but you don’t know of what” !!! i didn’t realize you were writing the story of my life?

“gonna be a baby about it?” END ME 🥵

oh oh oh this is so sticky and sweaty and i ammmmmmmmm fine. i’m fine? ha ha ha! i’m FINE!

once again with the sister shit, ripping my lil heart to shreds ☠️ there’s no magic at play that i’m aware of but i think there’s a very specific irl telepathy that you’ve captured here. i think i’d sense a loss like this without having to be told, you know? that gut feeling. so, uh, ouch 🤙🏻

pitcher plant 👈🏻 frog 👉🏻 …… are you fucking kidding me with this? how you dare

tbh my toxic trait is that i would literally do whatever this hoseok asked and i will not unpack that, but thank you for asking!! i am a “idk that midsommer cult could probably pull me” type of buffoon, how did you know??

I LOVE THAT YOU ENDED HERE! to quote @here2bbtstrash, we cliff-hang like men!!

final thoughts: i am blown away by your mind, dude. i think this and fang fucker have been the only supernatural/etc AU bts fics i’ve ever read and you are setting the bar so impossibly high.

there is so much thought here, too. it’s perfectly clear how much time and effort you’ve spent on researching this (and i can assume your other fics like this, if FF is any indication) and coming up with your own lore when it works better — and i’m gobsmacked. for real.

AND THEN !!! on top of all the story and characters in and of themselves, you write like a dream 😭 this was crafted, not written, and all of it was so palpable that i have this vague sense of foreboding now. entirely your fault — i love it 😩

The Wood | JHS | (m)

→ Pairing: witch!Hoseok x female reader

→ Summary: From the moment you step foot in Kill Devil, you know something about the town is off. Determined to find out exactly how your sister went missing in such a small town, you receive unlikely help from the man staying in the motel room next to yours. But there is so much more than what meets the eye with Hoseok and the citizens of Kill Devil.

→ Word Count: 16,786

→ Type: One shot 

→ Genre: supernatural, psychological thriller, southern-gothic

→ Main Masterlist: here

→ Rating: NSFW & 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging with this content. Any minors discovered interacting with adult content will be blocked immediately.

→ For: The To Love A Monster Collab

→ Warnings: Creepy town vibes somewhere in the south, unreliable narrator because she’s a dumb bitch, missing family member, descriptions of nightmares and night terrors, allusions to toxic citizens and intolerance in the southern US, cryptic exchanges, being attacked and choked by a strange entity, sleep paralysis, depictions of anxiety and panic and deep fear, manipulation, cat Yoongi.... sort of, explicit language, explicit sexual content including unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, slight hand job, a lot of spit and cum, fucking in a nasty ass motel room, mean Hoseok at the end, I don't know why I reference frogs so much please forgive me, ambiguous ending/unexplained ending, implied death of a side character off-screen

→ A/N: Not only is this absolutely a million weeks late, it also is the longest it has ever - and I mean ever - taken me to write a fic. This was so hard for me to write, and I have deleted anad re-written thousands of words for this. The end result is something that I absolutely did not plan. This fic is ENTIRELY different from the original outline and idea, so at times it might seem where this piece doesn’t know where it’s going because it wasn’t until I got to the end of the smut scene last night that I realized what the hell this story needed. 

I want to thank @here2bbtstrash because I could not have written this fic without them, but also for the amazing and thorough beta they gave this. This was one of my choppier/messier pieces and they helped fix this so much and I have giant feelings for M that are very normal. Also a special thank you to @gimmethatagustd for keeping me somewhat sane while really struggling with this piece. 

Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Only God can save us! 

It’s probably the tenth sign of the like that you’ve seen. Your palms feel sweaty on the wheel, the unsettling feeling in your stomach as you drive through God’s Country increasing. For some reason, as you catch glimpses of old abandoned churches at the end of red dirt roads and leaning fruit stands with no seller in sight, you think that perhaps God has forsaken this place. 

The drive has been unremarkable, but the closer you get to Kill Devil you think perhaps the town is aptly named. You can’t help but get the sense - especially when you stop at a gas station with no one inside and a single working pump - that there is a reason the town sports such a unique title. 

It’s hard to imagine why your sister would ever move here, even temporarily. Outside, the locusts whine, a high-pitched buzzsaw hidden in the boughs draped with Spanish moss. The paint on the road has long since faded, single lanes stretching North to South in an endless strip. 

Sticky heat prickles your skin. Though there’s no one else around save for you and the locusts, you can’t help but look around nervously, eyes scouring the oak trees. The door to the gas station is locked, and the other side of your single-station pump has a red bag on the handle. 

The sk sk sk of the pump is a slow heartbeat. Pulling out your phone while you wait, your stomach flips when you see that you have very little service. You’re about thirty minutes away from Kill Devil and an hour away from any major cities. Peppered along the map are small towns like Kill Devil, home to pecan farms, corn fields, and cotton gins. 

You feel a long way from home.

A tingle slides down the back of your neck. You look up from your phone, gaze sweeping back and forth through the trees and over the cracked pavement of the station. There’s nothing else there, but you have the sense that the trees have eyes. 

The pump clicks loudly and your heart lurches, hand flying to your chest as you shriek and turn. For a few moments, your heart beats so loudly in your ears you can’t hear the chirping of the locusts or your ragged breathing as you close your eyes, trying to level out your moment of panic. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, pulling the handle and jiggling it lightly to ensure any dripping gas is shaken off. 

Naturally, you’re a pretty calm person. The jumpiness belongs to your mother, who screams every time someone turns a corner in the house unexpectedly. It’s something about the feeling that clings to you like a second skin as you get in the car that has you shaken. 

Or it’s the fact that your sister has been missing for two months. 

On instinct, your hand goes to the necklace around your throat. It’s a heart-shaped locket, which would seem cheesy to anyone else. But for you, it’s one of the few coveted items you have from her.

It’s also something that you swear burned you in the middle of the night two months ago. You’re not sure if you believe in spiritual intuition or connection between family members, but what you do know is that you haven’t heard from her, and the local police have been no help. 

Trust your gut. That’s what she’s always said. And you do trust your gut on this, this knowing that something is wrong. 

On the road again, your tension continues to increase. The land has turned to steep up and down hills, pines lined on either side of the road, pocked with deep canyons.

Orange tire tracks appear and disappear on the highway, turning off onto clay roads with washed-out shoulders and deep ruts from all of the rain over the summer. Your sister had mentioned the house she was renting was nearly impossible to get to when the rain was bad.

A green sign that says Kill Devil City Limits passes by. No welcome sign, no little plaque announcing the population. Your music skips in and out, the connection to your phone weak. You switch to FM, flinching at the roaring static that comes through, finger jamming on the arrows to skip through to something passable.

Country. Country. Church. Country. Rock. Pop. 

You leave it on the pop station, turning your eyes back to the road. A logging truck comes roaring up the hill, blasting by your sedan at top speed, making your car shake. Your heart squeezes in fear. You’ve passed over two dozen of them and they never drive any slower or any safer each time. 

You’re going to kill Hanna if you find her lounging in her house, making you come all this way.

She had taken up a story there, investigating the town's eerie occult background for the media company that she worked for. Her editor had stopped receiving updates from her around the same time you’d stopped hearing from her. 

When you called the landlord she was renting from, he was no help. Some idiot who owned seventeen houses dotted around the country, renting them out for twice the price they were worth. 

The local police station had been worse. They’d done a wellness check several times after you called but insisted she wasn’t home. No signs of a break-in, no signs of a struggle. No reason to be missing. They refused to make it an official report, as there was no reason for her to be missing. 

Have you considered she just doesn’t want to talk to you? they’d laughed on the phone. 

It was a joke. Somehow you could not believe they refused to file a report, and you threatened to take it to the state police and anyone who would listen to you. The woman you had spoken to had chuckled then, her mirth sending a chill up your spine. 

Have fun on hold, sweetheart.

You could not fathom how not a single person cared. Not the news, not any authority that you could get in contact with, and certainly not the lawyer you reached out to. 

Let law enforcement handle it. Your pleas fell on deaf ears and it was like it didn’t even matter that an entire person was missing. You’d heard about the blunders of the law enforcement system before, but this was a new level of ignorance and oddity.

It was… unexplainable. 

Which was why now, you were driving into the backwater town of Kill Devil in the southern part of the United States. 

Dropping your speed down, you take the chance to look around. There are a few houses on the outskirts of the town, their yards sprawling with kudzu and their homes leaning heavily with brown vines climbing up the eaves. There are several old, broken-down trucks in the middle of the kudzu fields, swallowed by the invasive vine-like devil’s snare. 

You’d heard of one-stop-light-towns but you had never seen one without. Kill Devil is made up of all stop signs. Everything is built around the courthouse, a red brick building dropped in the middle like a fungus growing its roots outward.

The sheriff’s office is just across the street with Crown Victoria model patrol cars. A taxidermist is right next door, the gold cursive font on the front of the glass door telling you it’s been there since the 70s. 

Kill Devil has everything you expect. Antique shops with dusty windows and dry-rotted awnings, a convenience store that looks straight out of retro America, closed-down shops with empty shelves and shattered glass, and a single diner with station wagons and mud-slicked trucks in the parking lot. 

A single motel stands at the edge of the town center. When you pull into the parking lot, you look up at the sign and frown. Like something out of a horror movie, the Lodging Motel is missing several letters in long-burnt-out neon, three letters blinking in the fading afternoon sun: Lodging Motel. 

Die.

With one look at the crusted, three-paneled windows and mold-covered brick face, you think that you just might die. 

Pink sun sinks behind the rolling hills of pine. You get out of the car, stretching and popping your joints as you look at your lodging with a sour taste in your mouth. You pass the ‘vacant’ sign as you walk to the small square building at the end with ‘front office’ on the window. 

“Yeah no shit,” you mutter. You cannot imagine who would stay here out of anything but necessity. 

In fact, it seems like there is no one staying at the hotel. This fact makes you jumpy as you approach the office, which is just a clerk's window and a woman with sunken eyes and a scowl on her face watching you. You swallow thickly as you give her a weak smile and nervous wave, trying to get past the sudden anxiety trembling in your hands. 

“Hi,” you say. “I have a reservation for-”

A small window that’s about six inches tall and a foot wide pops open. She hacks, fluid-sounding and phlegmy before saying, “I can’t hear you with the damn window closed. What do you want?” 

You clench your jaw. Slowly, you begin again. “I have a reservation.”

“ID and credit card.” 

You slide the materials through the window. She holds them up close to her face, scrutinizing them. Crickets join the singing of the locusts. Mosquitos fly around your head and you cringe, swatting at them as you wait while she rolls her chair over to a cabinet.

Wordlessly, she puts your credit card on a manual credit card imprinter. You raise your brows, unsure of the last time you’ve seen someone do paper credit card printing instead of sliding it through a machine. 

While you wait, you look past her into the office. It’s dingy inside but you can see a box TV and a window unit air conditioner rattling in the window. There are metal cabinets that form their own little skyscrapers around her office. An episode of I Love Lucy plays on the fuzzy TV screen. 

“Here’s your room key.” She tosses it through the window. It’s room three, the key hanging on a diamond-shaped, acrylic keychain with Lodging Motel written in Sharpie. “We don’t got room service or maid service. If you need more towels, the launder-mat is down the street. Don’t run the hot water more than twenty minutes or so. If the AC ain’t on, hit ‘er a few times.” 

“Great,” you deadpan. “Anything else?”

She scowls. “Mind the raccoons. They got rabies.” 

“Thanks.”

Inside the room is just as expected: peeling wallpaper, red shag carpet with questionable stains and the unmistakable stench of cigarettes, sconce lighting with lampshades that look decades old, a twin with a horrible patterned blanket, frayed at the edges and moth-eaten, and a single, square dresser with a box TV on top and a white, corded phone. 

The bathroom is no better. The tub is stained with limescale, cracked tiles, and a lamp that buzzes when you flip it on. You scream when you see the massive roach hanging out in the tub, gagging and running out to look for anything to kill it with. 

You settle on a sneaker, and it’s a battle involving your high-pitched scream as you try and kill it. You do win, but you’re covered in sweat and shaking after your victory.

A sharp knock on the door startles you further. You drift to the front door, looking out the peephole to find that it is cracked and you cannot see the person standing just on the other side. You slide the chain lock in and open the door tentatively, peering out into the now early night. 

“Everything okay?” a male voice asks. “I heard screaming.” 

The voice belongs to someone who absolutely does not belong in Kill Devil. He’s dressed in jeans with large rips at the knee and a plain white shirt that hangs off his frame stylishly. He has a few necklaces on, a single hoop hanging from his right ear that catches the flickering parking lot light. 

And he’s beautiful. The kind of beautiful that stuns you. He has a slender face with smooth, flowing skin. His eyes are kind, glittering brown with flecks of lighter shades throughout. The slope of his cheekbones and jawline makes you think perhaps he’s into modeling, which would explain the taste in clothes. 

But it does not explain what someone who looks like that is doing in this shithole town. 

“I had to kill a roach,” you admit, a little hesitant. Your skin tingles under his gaze, your instincts picking up something that you can’t put your thumb on. “I don’t like them very much and it was fast.”

“Disgusting. I had to buy killer for them - it came in a two-pack if you want?” You don’t answer, watching him warily. He picks up on your anticipation and smiles, disarming. “Sorry - my name is Hoseok. You can call me Hobi, if you’d like. I’m staying next door which is just as gross as your room is I’m sure. I heard you yell and I got worried.”

“That’s kind of you. This doesn’t seem like a place where people would care if they heard  screaming.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not from here.” He looks around the parking lot and his eyes focus on a raccoon meandering near the trash. You grimace, thinking about rabies. “Thank fuck, this place feels right out of fucking Deliverance.”

You can’t help but laugh, feeling better at his distaste. “One sec, let me slide the lock off.” You close the door and slide the chain before opening it a little wider this time. “Yeah, this place gives me the creeps. Hopefully, I don’t have to be here long.”

“A night is long enough. You want that spray?”

“Yeah, that would be great.” 

Hoseok grins and holds up a finger, asking you to wait as he jogs to his room. He’s only gone for a moment, leaving you in the poorly lit lot with the tk tk tk of the raccoon pilfering through trash and the crickets creek creek creeking. 

Hoseok’s door opens and he’s back, handing you a large, red can of lemon-scented Raid. “Just make sure you drown them. They did outlive the dinosaurs. Makes you wonder what the hell is in that stuff.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem…” He drifts off, unsure what your name is. You laugh, a little flustered by the way his entire face lights up when he smiles, and give him your name. “I like it. Well, I don’t know how long you’re here, but I’m your neighbor for a few days. Try not to catch any infections while you’re in there and holler if you need me.”

“Thanks,” you grin. You hold up the can and add, “Especially for this.”

With a wave goodnight, Hoseok returns to his room. The buzz of something instinctual fades with him, replaced once more with the unsettling frequency the town seems to vibrate at. 

Closing the door firmly behind you and flicking the lock, you shiver. The eerie feeling that had been following you lingers.

After changing the sheets, inspecting the rest of the room and setting the spray can firmly on the pillow next to you, you lay on your back in bed, mattress lumpy and air conditioner rattling. 

-

Moonlight streams through the curtain, catching dust motes floating in the air and turning them into diamonds. You stand in the middle of the room. Cold but humid air clings to your skin, the air conditioner rattling and dripping as it cools the room but does nothing to suck out the moisture. You don’t know why you’re standing in the middle of the room and you don’t remember waking up and getting out of bed, but you face the window, the curtains open just enough to face the empty parking lot. 

Silence blankets the world. The hum of the air conditioner fades and you stare out into the silver-painted parking lot. Above the lot, a street light flickers on and off weakly. It goes out for a minute and flashes back on.

Someone leans against the pole. You can’t make out any features, just that there is a person there, perhaps facing you. The hair on your skin stands on end but you can’t move. Your instincts begin to prickle and there is a sharp feeling in your chest.

Belatedly, beyond your hypnotized stare, you realize the feeling is fear.

Your ears start to ring. You stare out at the shadow and the shadow stares back. Something is telling you to run run run but you don’t know how. Can’t move your feet. Panic begins to rise, your heart beating so fast that you can hear it over the steady whine in your ears. 

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thumpthumpthumpthump. 

You can feel your pulse skyrocketing, your chest squeezing tight with terror as the beating gets louder and louder -

Awareness hits you like cold water. You lurch forward in bed, hands flying to your chest as you gasp for air. It takes a moment to get your bearings, the pounding in your heart so hard it feels like you might vomit. Battling the sheets, you rip them off of you, legs sticky with a sheen of sweat. 

The lamp is still on in your room, the curtains are closed just the way you left them, and the bug killer rolls on the bed as you get up. Several paces away from the window, you catch your breath, running a hand over your face. 

“Fuck,” you pant, realizing you were dreaming. 

When your breathing levels out, you glance at the closed curtains. Something niggles at your brain. Slowly, you walk toward the window, feeling the hairs on your arms tingle and stand on end.

Lifting your shaking hands, you grip the curtain tight. Taking a deep breath, you hold it in and pull open the curtain just a bit. 

Unlike your dream, there’s no moonlight outside. It’s so dark you almost can’t see anything in the parking lot. When the lot light flickers back on, your heart squeezes, expecting to see a shadow leaning against the pole. There’s nothing there, just empty lot and a dumpster. Not even the raccoon is around. 

Blowing out your held breath, you close the curtain again and shake out your hands, trying to get rid of the jitters. Rolling your neck and shoulders, you try to work out the tension as you sit on the end of the bed, staring at the faded wallpaper. 

The dream felt so real. You swear that if you turn your head, you’ll see silver moonlight through the curtains. That you’ll see that person - that shadow - standing outside of your window. 

Exhaustion weighs heavy on you. You crawl back into bed, mattress damp and smelling like mildew even with the sheets that you put on it. You’re under a lot of stress and you hate this motel room as much as you already hate this town that you’ve barely started to explore. It makes sense that you’re having weird dreams. 

Blanket pulled up to your chin, you eventually let your lids flutter shut until you’re taken by dreamless sleep. 

-

Morning sun chases away the dregs of your strange dream from the night before. With daylight streaming between the curtains, the room looks no better. It’s a futile hope, perhaps, to keep thinking that the room will suddenly not look nearly as questionable as when you checked in. 

At least there are no bugs. 

Outside, the balmy air is filled with the voices of the locusts. You lock the door behind you and glance toward where Hoseok vanished the night before. His windows are closed and there’s no sign of him anywhere in the parking lot, so you head to your car, stomach begging for food. 

Kill Devil is small in both size and population. The Diner is easy to find, tucked in the southwest corner of the town across from the courthouse. Folks wander about the parking lot, shaking one another’s hands and laughing as the weekend rush of people meanders up the steps for breakfast. 

Your arrival is noted immediately. Eyes turn your way as you walk through the lot, loose gravel crunching under your feet. The lot is more packed dirt than pavement, full of holes and mud softened by rain. 

Seeing a new face in a wretched little town like this probably isn’t common. Though you’re not familiar with growing up in such a small population, you remember what it was like knowing everyone at school. The same theory applies here when a portly man with raised brows stands, screen door in hand as he stares at you.

The man blocks the way to the inside of the diner. You pause and look up, noting the confusion on his face. After clearing your throat, he realizes that he’s completely frozen from opening the door and coughs, bowing his head and apologizing. 

“You uh - visiting?” he asks, holding the door open for you. When you nod, he seems surprised, though that had to be the only answer. “Well, that doesn’t happen often. Welcome to Kill Devil.”

There’s a small host stand with a pile of laminated menus on top. A girl who looks to be about your age stares back at you, wiping her hands on a red apron tied around her waist. She’s in jeans and a t-shirt that says The Diner across the chest, her hair pulled up and stabbed through with a pen. 

“Just you?” she asks, eyes fluttering to the man who shrugs behind you. You nod. “Right this way.” 

The wooden walls are painted white, some of the paint peeling. There are miscellaneous animal heads with plaques underneath stating the names of their killers with a stamp of Jason’s Taxidermy. You try not to make eye contact with their black, glass eyes as you sit in a chair that wobbles from side to side.

You thank the hostess as she wanders off to get you coffee. The family at the table next to you does their best to whisper about who the hell is that as you look over the menu, flipping it to the breakfast side. The laminate is sticky and peeling at the corners. 

It’s a pretty standard breakfast menu. You put it down on the table, nudging the container holding different colored sugar packets and sweeteners while you wait for your coffee. There’s a breakfast bar with people bent over steaming eggs and sitting atop cracked vinyl seats. 

The door opens behind you at a steady rate as people pay their bills and leave while new customers are sitting. A presence at your back sends a cool tingle up your spine, making you straighten and look over your shoulder.

Hoseok stands in a shaft of sunlight coming through the window, turning him gold. For a moment, the diner around you falls to a hush of murmured voices, muting the clinking of spoons against ceramic and scraping chairs.

He’s dressed well again, in a simple white button-up with the button undone to reveal a strip of golden chest. His hair is slightly damp and styled back, an outrageously good look on him. The same hoop earring dangles in his ear but today he has on a few necklaces and rings on his fingers. Somehow, he makes the delicate pieces carry an edge. 

“You survived the night, huh?” he says by way of greeting and then gestures to the chair across from you. “Would you mind company for breakfast?” 

You shake your head, forgetting words for a moment as he smiles, radiant as ever. Hoseok pulls out the chair and sits down, a twinkle in his eye that makes your heart flutter as he plucks a menu from the holder at the center of the table. You can smell his rain and lavender scent from across the table. 

“Thanks again,” you say, realizing you haven’t spoken yet. His brown eyes look at you over the top of the menu, and you can’t help but admire how beautiful they are. Warm, both dark and light, with flecks of chipped gold. “For the bug killer. I haven’t seen any more but I just know they’re there.”

“That’s the shitty thing about the South. All of God's least favorite creatures are here.” He glances at the table of scowling men next to you to emphasize. You hide your laughter with the plastic menu. “What brings you to this shit hole?”

“I’m… visiting my sister.”

“You sound unsure of that. Does she not know you’re coming?”

“She doesn’t.”

While they aren’t technically lies, you don’t know how much you can trust him. Instinct makes you hold the truth from him. After all, you don’t want him to know you’re in a town where no one knows you, and where no one knows you are. By yourself.

Hoseok looks at you again, his eyes narrowed. You feel tension creep into the air between you, your mouth drying out as he watches you silently. 

The arrival of the hostess who is also your server saves you from another question. You both place your order, and you note the way the girl cuts her eyes to Hoseok, wary. Her hands shake a little.

When she leaves the two of you, you ask, “How long have you been here?”

“A few weeks.”

“Enough to win over the locals, hmm?”

His grin is sly as he drums his fingers on the table. “I’m their favorite - you’re perceptive.” 

“My sister is an investigative journalist. She’s made me watch all kinds of shows and read books about psychology and body language with her. I picked up a few things.”

“An investigative journalist, huh?” Hoseok plucks a sugar packet and rips it open with his teeth. He shoots the ripped piece onto the table with a huff of air and dumps the contents on the table. Leaning on one elbow, he begins to trace patterns in the sugar. “So you’re not from here. No one here is smart enough for that.”

“No, she’s been living here since July.” 

“What’s she investigating?” You hesitate again. He doesn’t look up from the patterns he’s tracing on the table, finger steady as it cuts through the white sugar.

“I don’t really know.” He does look up when you say that, gaze razor-sharp. A chill slides up your spine. So you add, “Something to do with the occult.”

Hoseok stops moving his finger through the sugar. He doesn’t look at you, but he’s fixated on the mess he’s made on the table. You chew on your bottom lip, eyes dropping to his little sweetened artwork. You don’t understand the pattern that he’s traced, but it buzzes your brain when you look at it.

The silence stretches on. He remains unmoving and silent. Anxiety starts to creep in and you wonder if he thinks you’re crazy or is going to get up and leave-

With a huff of laughter, he leans back and smiles at you. 

“The occult huh? Interesting subject.”

“Know anything about it?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “I mean, what is really considered occult? Most of these Bible thumpers around here would consider being queer witchcraft.” 

“You have a point there. Don’t tell them I’m a witch.”

He grins. “You can join my coven, then.” 

“Do you think they know there’s more than two genders?”

Hoseok’s laugh is infectious. You laugh along with him, visibly ruffling the feathers of the table next to you. 

For a moment, the two of you share a secret smile at your little table, wedged between the people who go to church every Sunday and swear by Fox News at brunch. It feels good to know you’re not the only person completely out of place in Kill Devil. 

The arrival of your server with steaming plates breaks the moment, but you feel better about your morning nonetheless. Especially when the conversation switches from stilted exchanges about your sister and the occult to things about you and Hoseok. 

Over runny eggs on toast and crunchy bacon, you learn that Hoseok is a shop owner in a small town very far from Kill Devil. He brushes over the fact that he’s visiting family to tell you all about his small corner of the world and all of his favorite plants. 

“Fiona is a venus fly trap,” he giggles with a snap of bacon. “She’s my second favorite, but what I really love is my pitcher plants. They eat bugs, mostly, but they like to devour frogs too. The frogs love to hide in them, but sometimes the pitcher plants take kindly to them and don’t eat them. It never lasts.” 

“I would hate for them to eat the frogs.”

“Hmm, circle of life.”

“But the poor frogs!”

Hoseok isn’t swayed. “There has to be a balance to everything. The pitcher plants will kill the frogs eventually. Sometimes a predator likes to play with its prey. Their ecosystem doesn’t make sense. In order to pay back the food the pitcher plants bring them, the frog must die. It pays for power, in the end.”

“How do you mean?”

“Everything has a give and take.” He pauses to sip his coffee. He makes a face, opens a sugar packet, and empties it into the coffee. “In order to have life, we must have death. In order to have water, we must have fire, for earth, we must have air. There is a give and take in existence, and it has to stay that way.”

“If it doesn’t?”

“Chaos.”

“You know, a lot of theology believes that chaos created the world.”

“And perhaps it did. But in order to make the world, chaos needed…” Hoseok takes his butter knife in one hand and sticks out his pointer finger with the other. You watch as he places the knife horizontally across his finger, sliding it just so until he slowly lets it go, leaving it teetering back and forth, but never falling. “Balance. There has to be even weight on the scales to make it work.” 

“Interesting. So you think there is true balance in the world.”

“Not always, which is why we must make it.”

“Hmm. You have some interesting opinions.” 

“I am an interesting person.”

You like Hoseok. Conversation flows easily and it seems that he either doesn’t notice or does not care that he draws glances around the room, particularly when he gives a high-pitched laugh, leaning backward on the metal legs of his chair to clap his hands excitedly. You swear you see the table next to you flinch, though you can’t imagine why.

Hoseok insists on paying the bill, though you fight him all the way to the register. The elderly woman behind the till jams the pricing in from the ticket and slams the cash drawer shut when Hoseok hands over the bills. She makes sure not to tell you to have a good day, and you feel her sharp stare as you leave the interior of The Diner. 

In fact, the stares of the citizens are just as intense outside. Hoseok rattles on about a time he got really high and forgot to feed his cat. “Yoongi was so mad he wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”

“What?” you ask, distracted by the way a group of men leaning against a red pickup glare. “Your cat talks?”

“Oh- he- well he meows, you know what I mean?”

“No, but I’m sure he was very vocal.” Hoseok smirks, toeing the gravel of the parking lot as you reach your car. You glance over at the pickup truck again, seeing the four sets of eyes fixated on the two of you. “Why does everyone around here stare?”

“They’ll ignore you soon enough if you ignore them.”

“They don’t seem to ignore you.”

He gives you a wry smile. “I guess you’re right. Going to visit your sister, then?”

Digging around in your bag, you search for keys. “Yeah, she lives out in some place called Grave Hollow. How creepy is that?” 

Silence is your only answer. You look up, pausing the search for your keys to find him staring at you with a blank expression. Your heart skips a beat - it’s the same wiped-clean face he had when you mentioned your sister investigating the occult. 

Licking your lips, you ignore the feeling of a weighted stone dropping into your stomach. Hoseok says nothing.

Then, he’s chipper again. “Well have fun,” he chirps, shrugging and giving a wave as he backs away to leave. “Hopefully she has some cool occult stuff to tell you about. You know where to find me!

It’s hard to keep track of the way Hoseok’s mood flips on a dime. You stare after him, but he’s all smiles and sunshine again before turning on a heel to walk out of the parking lot. His hands are tucked into his pockets and he tilts his face toward the azure sky, whistling a tune with a happy cadence. 

Something sticks to you as you watch him leave. You don’t know what it is, this feeling that you’re missing a critical detail. It’s like your instincts are scratching lightly at the door, but you have no key to flip the lock and no crowbar to force it open. 

Anxiety returns when you remember the weight of the eyes still focused on you. Hurriedly, you snatch your keys from your bag and get in your car, tossing your bag on the seat and starting the engine. As soon as it purrs to life, you feel instant relief. 

You hope that it lasts.

-

According to the research you’d done on Kill Devil, the town had been officially founded in the 1700s. Of course, being ‘officially’ founded didn’t mean much in the way of Western colonization. You had little doubt that the migration of people to the South chased out Native American tribes, as was the story everywhere. 

Kill Devil has been named such since its inception, which occurred a little after Georgia had been named an official state. The abundance of soil for cotton and peanut fields made it a wet dream for the expansion of cotton gins and eventually, peanuts - there was even a rumor that peanut butter had been invented in Kill Devil first, but you knew that to be untrue. 

A small town with a small impact. That was Kill Devil at the heart of its existence. It has always had a small population of sleepy folk. No stop lights, one church, a lot of paper companies coming in and cutting down trees, and some farming fields for various reasons.

There’s no reason that for a tiny little dot on the map, the town should be significant. 

And yet it had called your sister here. 

The car bounces, the suspension whining as you drive down the dirt road. A clay wall comes up on either side of you, roots of trees sticking out periodically. There’s no shoulder to the road, the rain has deepened the ruts on either side. You’re careful to keep in the middle, slowing down as the road tightens on corners. 

Pine stretches as far as the eye can see. You pass the occasional neon tape, marking sections of trees for the paper company to let grow a little longer before hacking them down. Several metal gates with keep out and declaring different hunting clubs flash by. There’s even a sign that says Rucker’s Meat Processing. 

GPS is unreliable out in the sticks where the cell towers don’t quite reach. You keep an eye on the flattened paper map in the passenger seat, marked with your red marker to make sure you take the right road.

A sigh of relief escapes you when you see a little metal post with a turn-off sign: Kill Ditch South. The house that your sister is renting lives off of that, only a mile down the road or so. Long drives appear between the trees, houses parked at the end of them. You feel a little less alone in the woods now knowing that there are people around. 

Though you’re not sure how helpful they would be if something was wrong. 

Worry creeps into your stomach as you slow the car. There’s a little mailbox with the address your sister gave you. It’s at the end of a short drive that’s been layered with gravel to make the incline easier on tires. It crunches beneath the tires as you drive toward the modest, white house. Your sister’s Four Runner is parked outside, making your heart thunder. 

Turning the car off, you slide out into the humid air, hands trembling. Locusts scream, hidden in the trees. The sun is at its zenith, beating down on you as you slowly walk toward the house. It’s a single-story with two sets of windows facing the front. A wrap-around porch that leans to the side stands empty, save for a single bench. 

As you pass your sister's car, you notice that the grass underneath is dead and dry. As if the car hasn’t moved for a while, denying the grass any sun to live. It makes you feel nauseous, feet like anvils as you take your first step up the stairs. 

The creak of the wood makes you flinch. 

“Hanna?” You call, voice shakier than you want it to be. “Hanna, it’s me! Don’t freak out!”

No one answers. Your stomach bubbles like acid, the slow drip of sweat down your neck making a chill rattle up your spine. You reach the door and swallow thickly, lifting your hands and knocking loudly. 

“Hanna?” 

Nothing but the sound of the locusts answers you. 

Your palms feel sweaty as you knock again. This time, your voice cracks when you call, “Hanna? Please answer the door.”

Wind sweeps across the trees. One thing about the wind in a land of pines and hills is that it’s loud, making a whooshing sound as it’s picked up by the boughs of the trees, rattling and letting their needles shake to the floor. 

It’s cool at your back and you feel your lip wobble when you lower your hand to the doorknob. When you twist, the door opens immediately, swinging of its own volition when you let go. 

Inside the house is the kind of silence that terrifies you in horror movies. The air is heavy. Your ears ring, searching for any rasp of sound to tell you that your sister is home. Licking your lips, you step over the threshold, the wooden floor cracking beneath the weight of your feet. 

To the immediate left of the door is an open kitchen. There are dishes on the dry rack and plants in the window, though they are wilted and dry. You chew your lip as you step further into the house, eyes sweeping around.

A blue, painted table stands in the middle of the kitchen. Piles of mail sit on top of it with a fake plant centerpiece and your sister's car keys.

Across from the kitchen is an open doorway with a stacked washer and dryer, and a folding table. It smells faintly of detergent, clothes folded in neat piles as if Hanna had just completed a laundry day.

Everything is silent in the living room. The couch looks cozy, with piles of blankets draped across it. There’s a faint smell of vanilla, though the wick on the candle doesn’t look like it’s been lit in a while. Dust collects on the TV stand and there are sandals by the door that leads to the back porch. 

Chewing your lip, you gently press your fingers to the door of Hanna’s bedroom, holding your breath. The sudden fear that it’s going to swing open and you’ll find your sister dead in her bed nearly incapacitates you, making the room spin a little as the door fully swings open. 

Nothing. No Hanna, no rotting smell of a dead body. Just an unmade bed in a room that smells vaguely of her cherry perfume, a bathroom with the door open, and a pile of clothes near the hamper.

The sight of the clothes on the floor and right next to the hamper slams you with a wave of nostalgia. You walk into the room and you unceremoniously plop yourself down on the edge of the bed. It sags underneath you but you don’t care, letting your face fall into your hands and letting a sob rip through you. 

Hanna isn’t here. You knew she wouldn’t be, but the relief that you don’t find her dead is so poignant that you can barely breathe past the snot clotting your nose and the way your throat constricts as you let out the fear. 

The sobs subside and you wipe your face, hands coming away sticky and wet. Through swollen eyes, you look around the room. With a wipe of your hands on your jeans, you get up and start looking around, pulling open drawers and looking for evidence of the last time that Hanna was in this home. 

It’s slow going. You’re unfamiliar with the space and you don’t know what to look for. It doesn’t seem like she had packed anything, but then again, how would you know if she did? 

There are signs that she hasn’t been in the house in weeks. Rotted food inside of the fridge, molded bread in the pantry. 

Outside, weeds grow around the steps. A cricket pops from the railing to the grass where its green body vanishes. The yard isn’t much of a yard - it’s open to the trees and a kudzu field to the west. 

Back inside, you grab Hanna’s keys and open her car. There is nothing inside that looks like she was trying to make a quick getaway. An extra pair of shoes shoved in the back, and an empty grocery bag she was using for trash - all normal things. 

In the passenger seat, you strike gold. 

Hanna’s journals and folders sit in the passenger seat, stacked in a leaning tower with pages sticking out from the edges of her books and slanted handwriting scrawled on the folder tabs. Gathering all of it, you head back inside and deposit the stack on the kitchen table before looking around the house again to see if there’s any sign of her. 

Something in your gut tells you that Hanna hasn’t been in the home for at least a month, if not more. 

Dread creeps into your stomach as you gather items and pack a bag. Your intention is to keep it on you at all times in the event that you find her cold and alone somewhere. The thought of needing it leaves a sour tang on your tongue, but you pack it nevertheless.

Bag over your shoulder and stack of Hanna’s investigative work in hand, you head off to your room at the motel. The afternoon sun still burns hot over your head, but you have no intention of sitting in the empty house that carries the scent of your sister’s absence. 

-

… While most historical accounts and official state documents indicate that Kill Devil was founded in 1730, journals buried deep in the city’s crumbling library have written records of townsfolk living in this settled town long before it was declared an official town. The journals reference the town as Covenstead and are filled with generations of the same family names. 

Booth. 

Park. 

Warren. 

Kim. 

Jung. 

Jeon. 

Min. 

Generations of these families settled in Covenstead and built what is now Kill Devil. From the description of the town in the collection of journals, it appears that the general layout of the town is similar to Kill Devil’s current city map. 

Throughout the journals, there is a reference to the Wood. It seems to be a place mentioned in reverence, and there are allusions to celebrations in the Wood with entries dated in alignment with sabbats on the Wheel of the Year. 

Only Mabon is referenced in any of the journals explicitly, in a strange entry from a man named Yoongi Min. I have written it here for safekeeping: We bringeth the little lamb to The Wood today for the honor of Mabon. I loathe seeing him go, for he hath brought cheer and many a smile to the Covenstead. May he bring us blessings and warmth in the winter. 

Your finger traces over your sister’s writing. She still writes in her cramped, crooked way, with the sabbats of pagan holidays crammed in the margins. You smile, biting your bottom lip again as you go through the written notes of her study. It is dizzying and you’re unsure what exactly you’re looking at, but something tickles the back of your mind as you reread the entry she copied from the long-dead Yoongi Min. There’s something you're missing.

This time, your eyes snag on a word. 

“The Covenstead,” you murmur, reading it over again. “Why would he call it the Covenstead? Is that just an older way of speaking?”

A tingle pricks your neck as you stare at the entry. You can’t understand what made your sister think this entry was odd besides the old-fashioned writing and reference to Mabon, because she writes nothing more on her analysis, and none of the journals she had been studying were anywhere you could find. 

Sighing, you push away her notebook and pull out a collection of folders and papers that she had on the town. It’s mostly renderings of the town in its heyday with maps and newspaper articles. There seems to be no correlation between her clippings of new business openings and random town news. 

Kill Devil Court House Gets New Building

Bird Flu? Poultry Farm in Trouble After Flock Dies

The Grove Neighborhood Building Plans Accepted by Mayor

Mayor’s Son Experiences Fatal Well Accident

Something catches your eye in the article about the mayor’s son who fell into a well and died at the bottom. You reach for your sister's notebook and flip to read the small dates shoved into the margins.

Mayor’s Son Experiences Fatal Well Accident

June 19, 1781

Litha: Summer Solstice

June 19-23

Grabbing the other newspaper clippings, you climb off of the bed and lay them flat against the sheets, each crinkling under the excited press of your fingers as your brain whirs. It’s a puzzle your sister seems to have figured out already, and one you don’t expect to understand.

But you do. 

Kill Devil Court House Gets New Building

February 14, 1899

Bird Flu? Poultry Farm in Trouble After Flock Dies

March 19, 1899

Ostara: Spring Equinox

March 19-22

You suck in a breath as you look at the next clipping, using your pointer finger to keep your place on the sabbats calendar your sister has written down to see that the article for the new neighborhood The Grove is dated only a month before the mayor's son fell tragically in the well. 

“Holy shit, Hanna,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your mouth and staring with burning eyes at the dates. “They match with pagan rituals? Something good, followed by something bad… like revenge? Punishment? Payment?” 

The question bothers you. A flutter in your gut tells you that you’re asking the right questions as you stare at the pages, unseeing and trying to understand what your sister is getting at. She didn’t write down her thoughts explicitly - in case anyone stole her work, she’d said - and now you’re wishing she weren’t so paranoid. Or that she at least used a computer. 

It isn’t an easy answer to puzzle out. An ache has settled deep in your temples and your half-eaten dinner has long gone cold. You decide you’ve earned a shower, though you don’t go into the bathroom without the bug spray armed and ready. 

Briefly, you think about Hoseok. Such an oddity to the town. You can’t help but think about the way he changes from light to dark so quickly, face becoming shadowed and eyes masked, expression there and gone so quickly that you’re unsure if you saw it at all. 

Strange. It’s all very strange. 

-

There is a shadow in the parking lot again. This time, it’s closer. The bulb burning above the lot flickers, but stays on. The shadow stands just beyond the silver halo of light it distributes.

No moon hangs in the sky. It is dark dark dark - impossibly dark. You stare through a crack in your curtains, watching the shadow as it watches you. Dread weighs down the pit of your stomach and you feel a fresh wave of terror-laced nausea sweep through you. 

You slide a foot backward gently, preparing to step away from the window. The shadow twitches and cocks its head to the side, not unlike a dog curious about something it’s heard. You suck in a sharp breath and hold it in, air screaming in your lungs, heart racing a frantic staccato. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck it seems to say, beating until it’s all you can hear and feel, pumping your system so full of adrenaline that you feel light-headed. 

Your heart turns into a drum, frantic. It beats louder and louder and you feel rooted to your spot on the carpet, the soles of your feet surgical-stitched to the ugly shag carpet. You stare and stare and stare at the shadow and your heart is hammering so loud boom boom BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM-

Sweat-drenched and gasping for air, you sit up. Your heart pounds so hard you can feel it under the palm you have pressed against your chest. But the banging is coming from the hotel door, a steady stream of closed-fist hammering and Hoseok’s voice calling your name. 

Peeling the covers back from your damp skin, you stumble to the door, nightmare-drunk and disoriented. You forget to remove the chain from the door, yanking it open and immediately slamming it to a stop as the chain pulls, refusing to let the door open.

Hoseok is on the other side, hair slightly disheveled, brows pulled together. He’s in a t-shirt and sweatpants, a casual look by anyone’s standards but still effortlessly put together. 

“Shit, hold on,” you slur, tongue heavy in your mouth with sleep. Closing the door, you slide the chain out, then reopen it successfully. “Sorry, is everything-”

“What’s going on?”

“What?”

His gaze is thunderous as he looks past you into your room. “You were screaming at the top of your lungs.”

Heat flushes your neck and face. “I-I’m sorry. I was having a nightmare. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I’m not mad. What’s going on?”

In the shadow of the night, he looks dangerous, made up of edges and eyes narrowed. “Can I come in?” 

You open the door and move out of his way. “Sure.”

“Thanks.”

Out of habit, you latch the door when you shut it.

Hoseok is a little out of place in your room. Even when dressed down, he looks like he belongs on a private jet, lounging among soft, polished leather and sipping exotic coffee. Not in a rundown motel room with peeling wallpaper and smoke-stained ceilings. 

“What’s all this?” Your stomach plummets when he sees the journals and papers on your bed. you rush to shove it all under the blanket but Hoseok is fast, plucking a sheet of paper and looking over it, face pinched. “Is this what you meant by your sister studies the occult?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was just um- looking over her work.” 

“You know about the occult?”

“Not at all.”

He glances at you, razor-sharp. “Then why would you be looking it over for her?”

The atmosphere shifts. It occurs to you that he doesn’t know your sister is missing. Has no idea that you’re desperately trying to put together pieces of a broken puzzle, without any clue on where to find the remaining parts to view the entire picture. 

You weigh the options of lying, losing precious time as the silence hangs heavy and awkward between the two of you. He watches, brows raised and expectant, fingers gripping the paper. 

“My sister is missing.” It feels weird to say it. Your tongue feels heavy and as you stare over his shoulder at a fixed spot on the wall, it feels like someone else enters your body to tell him, “I came here because no one would help me find her. She was here studying the town's occult myths for work and vanished. I had this… horrible feeling when she stopped calling and answering.”

“Have you contacted the authorities?”

You scoff and throw a glare at him. “Of course I have. It’s useless and frustrating. No one seems to give a shit that there is a missing person, and every lawyer, law officer and city official I talk to don’t fucking care. It’s like they’re all programmed to give me the same answer. They keep telling me that they’ve seen her around or that she’s probably ignoring me on purpose. They make me seem crazy.”

You expect him to tell you to leave it to the authorities. That’s what Hanna’s boss had told you to do. No one seems to be alarmed, no one cares. But you do. Desperately. And you cannot wrap your head around them looking the other way. 

You’re preparing for the same reaction when Hoseok surprises you by saying, “You’re not crazy.”

“I’m not?”

He quirks a brow and his rosebud lips twitch in a smirk. “Well, you probably are. But not for this. Have you asked around town about her?”

You shake your head. “I only went to the house that she was staying at. I wanted to see if maybe she really was ignoring me or maybe just… I don’t know. In the zone for work. She wasn’t there and it doesn’t look like there was any sign of distress.” 

“Take me there.”

“Right now?”

“Yes.” He tosses the papers onto the pile on your bed. “We’ll be safe.”

“First of all,” you hedge. “How do I know that? I barely know you. Second of all, what is going there in the middle of the night going to help?”

“I’m good at investigating. Maybe I’ll see something that you don’t.”

“Sorry, are you a cop now?”

“No, it’s hard to explain but I promise I’m trying to help you.” When you don’t move, Hoseok grimaces. “Look,” he explains evenly. “I really am trying to help you. I haven’t been entirely honest about why I’m here in this town. I came because I was also interested in some things happening here. Now I’m worried your sister is involved.”

Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest. “Involved how?”

“I don’t know. I’m hoping it’s a coincidence. Believe it or not, those do happen. But I’d like to visit her house to see if there’s anything at all that sticks out to me.” You hesitate, chewing on your lip. You don’t really know him, and now you trust him even less with his reasoning. “Please,” he adds. 

You relent. “Fine.” Hanna is your main goal. You don’t trust Hoseok, but you wonder if he really can help you when no one else has. “Let’s go.” 

Damp air rushes through the open windows of your car. You lowered them as you got in for a quick escape if Hoseok attacks you while you drive. He says nothing in the passenger seat, eyes fixed on the pine trees rushing behind you. 

Outside, the world is painted night-blue from the moon. There’s a weird hue to everything, making it feel as though you’re wading with heavy limbs through a dream. It’s no better when you arrive at the dark house.

It looks terrifying at night. There’s no street light to guide you, only that of the silver moon and the bright halogen lights of your car. You turn off your vehicle but switch the headlights on, turning on the high beams to shine on the house. 

On the edges of where the light fades to shadow, your fear lies. The trees look taller than in the daylight, their branches like craggy limbs and reaching fingers. Anxiety bubbles uncomfortably in your stomach. 

Each crunch of the grass beneath your feet falls too loud against the heavy silence. Here, you notice that the crickets are no longer singing. It’s just the hush of the wind gusting through the canyons and the far-away swell as it blows up the hills. 

Though it’s not cool outside, there’s a chill on your skin. Hoseok walks up to the house, the beams of the car’s headlights throwing his shadow across it in jarring, monstrous shapes. You keep your eyes focused on him and your keys tucked in your hand, ready to use them as a weapon if needed. 

Hoseok doesn’t seem concerned about your anxiety or the silence thrumming around the home. He walks up the steps and opens the door, vanishing into the dark mouth of the threshold. For a moment, you stand in the front yard, getting tunnel vision as you stare at the darkness in the doorway. 

You imagine stepping over the threshold into that cool dark, letting it suck you in. You imagine that as soon as your shoes hit the creaking floor, Hoseok will snatch you by the waist and pull you into the belly of the beast. Once in his clutches, he’ll throw you to the ground and the last thing you’ll remember is-

Hoseok reappears in the doorway. You blink and the waking nightmare melts away, so vivid that you’re shaking where you’re standing, looking at him in confusion. He hops down the stairs, scowling as he crosses the front lawn in a few long strides. 

He pauses when he sees your face. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“I…” you shake your head, trying to dispel the weird vision you had a moment ago. “Nothing. I just don’t like the dark very much.” 

“Uh-huh.”

“Did you find anything?”

His lip twitches. It’s almost impossible to detect, but you’re so focused on his face and trying not to picture him as the man in the terrifying thought you had moments ago, that you see it. “No.” 

Lying. He’s lying. You clutch your keys and your breath quickens. He moves to round the side of the car and take the passenger seat, but you step in front of him. He pulls up short, eyes narrowing as you stand between him and the vehicle, blood pumping. 

“I think you’re lying.”

“About what?”

“A lot of things.”

“What gives you that impression?”

“My instinct.”

He hums. “Instinct isn’t always a good thing.” He looks you up and down. “I didn’t find anything,” he says again. “I just got a really weird feeling inside of the house.”

“And?”

“And it’s the same weird feeling I’ve gotten in other places where people visiting went missing. Including the motel we’re staying at.” That makes you recoil. You feel the blood drain from your face, making you a little dizzy. You don’t know what’s going on, don’t understand what he’s getting at. “Your sister’s notes were about the covenstead here.”

That word again. The covenstead and not Covenstead, like a town name. “It was the town name before it was Kill Devil.” 

“No,” he corrects. “It was a landmark. A covenstead, for people who lived here. A coven.” 

“A coven.” He nods. “Like vampires and witches?” 

Hanna’s notes had included all of those pagan holidays crammed in the margins of her work. Marking dates of occurrences that coincided with sabbat holidays. “Hoseok,” you say slowly. “Are you telling me that a bunch of witches live here and have kidnapped my sister?”

He regards you for a moment, eyes flickering up and down. His face is unreadable and dark in the night air, eyes shadowed and haunting. “That’s actually exactly what I’m saying.”

“Witches aren’t real.” 

He frowns. “I can prove that they are.” 

“How?”

He gestures to the car. “Let’s go.” 

-

When you were younger, your sister always believed in magic. You remember spending all of October huddled on the couch with crocheted blankets, watching Halloween movies with the blanket pulled warm over scabbed knees, with popcorn-greased fingers tucked under heated thighs. Hanna always picked the movies - Halloween was her time of the year and you were happy to indulge. 

Hanna’s choices were always superb. Hocus Pocus received more airtime than anything else, replayed between Halloweentown one and two, Practical Magic, The Witches and The Addams Family among others. Every night of the month was crammed full of magic and spells and haunted houses, sweetened by candy corn and Butterfingers. 

Those were the nights that you loved the most. There was no fighting, no whining and crying over Hanna stealing your hair clips or you breaking her hair dryer. It was just the two of you, pressed skin-to-skin and spelled by the scrolling movies.

It’s as close to magic as you’ve ever been. You don’t think you were ever closer to her than in those moments. Under the blankets and the dim candles your mother lit, you were one being, melded. You knew when she would gasp at every jump scare and whisper each one of her favorite lines. 

Thinking back on it, you wonder if Hanna was onto something. She always insisted that parts of the movies had to be true. Stories are rooted in history, and though myth and legend changed with culture, colonization and the introduction of new religions, science and ideas, there was something about the concept of magic and spirit that felt real to her. 

It was why she went to school and majored in journalism with minors in folklore and history. She had even started a master's program for occult studies and folklore, spending late nights studying between traveling across the country from haunt to haunt for her job. 

Staring at her work on the bed of your hotel room as Hoseok adds some of his own notes and findings, you have never missed her more. There is a sudden ache inside of your chest, so strong that it takes your breath away. Your hand goes to the necklace at your neck, feeling flushed, heart pounding. 

Hoseok is explaining how there used to be a coven of witches that lived in the Wood long before Kill Devil existed. The Wood, Hoseok explains, is like a living and breathing conduit of power. It was something that gave the coven power but also needed to be fed. 

The Covenstead. You remember the journal entry that had called it the covenstead. A place where witches commune and live together as one functioning body of magic. That much power does things to a place, skews the way the world works a little bit. He gives examples of places all around the world with similar experiences: the Bermuda Triangle, Door To Hell, Reed Flute Cave. All places where an abundance of magic and energy warps the way life functions. 

But the Wood was strange before the witches got here. Hoseok rolls out a map, fingers tracing the lines of the city. Clarity snaps like a rubberband stinging against skin as you stare at it, lips parted, inhaling sharply. 

The city roads make a pentagram, and at the very center is the courthouse. 

“This is on purpose,” Hoseok explains. “There are other places in the world where the way the city or town or village is built is like a pentagram. Usually, these are called portals. They’re different from faerie rings which have their own power and distortions. These portals are for practicing witches and those who know how to use them.”

“Portals for what?”

“Creatures of great power that exist in worlds that don’t belong to us. Part of what gives witches their ability to perform magic is their energy. They are attuned to the world around them in a way that humans are not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you understand the concept of third and fourth dimensions?” 

“Third dimension is what we live in,” you answer mechanically, somewhat familiar with the idea. “If a fourth dimension existed, we wouldn’t know because it moves in a way that we are unable to perceive. The fourth dimension, in theory, is movement and sight we would never have.”

“Exactly. But witches are attuned to that. These pentagrams,” Hoseok murmurs, tapping the map. “Are made to connect to the fourth dimension. Pentagrams are not inherently evil or even paranormal, but similar to sacred geometry, they… radiate at a frequency that other dimensions do. Powerful symbols like this have existed since Mesopotamia.” 

“I… how does this prove that magic is real?”

For a moment, you’re distracted by the way Hoseok’s artful fingers pluck your sister's notebook from the bed. He flips until you’re looking at her journal entries and the newspaper clippings with dates and headlines. 

“Witchcraft is different in every culture and part of the world. These holidays have roots in Celtic and Welsh craft. It was brought over by the pilgrims when people fled England and traveled here. This is old - not as old as whatever lives in the Wood, but old enough that it’s powerful. These dates you’re looking at? They’re sacrifices to keep the Wood powerful.”

“How do you even know all of this?”

“I’ve studied it my entire life.”

“Why?” 

“It’s just something that runs in my family. We’re very spiritual people.” Something about the way his voice wavers makes you look at him sharply. Hoseok isn’t looking at you, busying himself with sifting through papers. There’s a pinch in your gut that makes you think he’s lying, but you’re afraid to push the matter. 

“Get some rest,” he says, breaking your exhausted train of thought. “We can talk more in the morning when you’re not exhausted.” 

“Yeah.” You rub your weary eyes. “Yeah, okay.” 

With Hoseok gone, you crawl into the bed, leaving the light on, staring off into the distance as your hand clutches your necklace. Your lip trembles and your throat constricts painfully. When you close your eyes, you feel tears slide down your face. 

Tucking your face into the pillow to hide your tears, you let out a small, aching sound. You just want to know where your sister is, and somehow you’ve landed in the middle of a hateful little town with strange little people and a strange little fantasy.

Crying is inevitable. But at least it puts you to sleep.

-

This time, you know you’re dreaming. You don’t know how you know, but you do. There’s a watery feeling to the hotel room when you open your eyes. As though you’re both there and you’re not.

You glance at the clock but the numbers are all wrong. You rub your eyes and look again, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t make sense of them.

You want to sit up. You move your arms - no, you try to move your arms. They don’t move, suddenly too heavy to slide under the covers of your blanket and peel it back. Panic sparks in you as you try to shift your legs, but though you can feel them, you can’t move them.

Terror as you’ve never known slides between your ribs, sharp and poignant. You can’t breathe and you know you’re dreaming and yet you can’t move. You close your eyes, brain repeating the same words over and over again: wake up wake up wake up wake up WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP-

It doesn’t happen. You open your eyes and your room still has the dream-glazed light to it, and you still can’t move. Something shifts in your peripheral vision. Your heart seizes in your chest so sharply you think you’ll die. 

You cannot turn your head to look at the shadow that moves just beyond your sight. Tears slip from your eyes, hot, wet and burning. You can’t wipe them. They blind you, turn your vision into an opaque, watery mess as something slides to the foot of your bed. 

When you feel the mattress dip, you try to scream. The sound is locked in your throat, with so much force behind it that you wait for your vocal cords to explode. The fear is raw now, your eyes wild, tears leaking as you mentally thrash and thrash and thrash. 

Weight shifts on either side of the bed and you have the sense that there is someone crawling on you but you can’t see beyond your crying, can’t hear beyond the pounding of your own heartbeat slamming in your ears, blocking out every other noise and-

Something invisible to you grips your throat. You still have the instinct to move, driving you to madness as your brain signals for your hands to fly to your assailant and yank and remove the hold on your neck. 

It’s crushing. You gasp for air, no noise coming out as the grip tightens, and you know with certainty that this is it. Whatever dream this is will kill you, this time. 

The realization that you’re going to die suddenly mutes the terror. It slides behind a glass door, beating its fists, but it's duller now. You have sharper clarity, and briefly you think of what Hoseok said about beings from the fourth dimension, and how the witches summon them through their craft here. To this place. Where you cannot perceive them. 

You wonder if this happened to Hanna. You miss her, your sister, with big dreams and fast smiles and a head full of magic and wondering. This, you think, is how you go. And perhaps you’ll join her. 

Thoughts blend together, sloshed wine in a glass. They’re warm and liquid and have no shape to them, no real purpose. It’s like you know you’re thinking, but you don’t know of what. Darkness pools at the edge of your vision. It feels cold and alone but you drift toward it, away from the pain. 

And then you can breathe. 

Air comes sweeping in, forcing its way into your mouth, into your lungs. Your lungs inflate so painfully that for a split second, you think they’re on fire. Oxygen burns its way through you and bursts of color explode on the canvas of your closed eyes - you don’t remember closing your eyes. 

You roll over in bed, coughing, mouth wet with spit and phlegm as you try to gulp in as much air as you can. 

High-pitched ringing whines in your ears, and there are muffled sounds on the other end of it. The motel room tilts back into vision, melting into place. You think that the room has reloaded into your world wrong - everything is crooked. 

Then you realize you’re laying on your side, gagging and gasping for air. There is a hand against to your back, palm cold, fingertips freezing. The touch, you realize, feels full of energy, your spine tingling where it’s pressed against you. 

Lurching away from the touch, you roll to the side of the bed, looking at the person whose hand had been pressed against you. 

Hoseok’s tangled in the sheets, hair a mess, shirtless and in sweats. He’s panting, flushed, and there’s a sheen of sweat on his body. But it’s his eyes that stop you from scrambling away. They’re dark, burning like two pieces of coal as he looks at you, kneeling with his hands in his lap, palms facing the ceiling. 

Hoseok says something. The ringing in your ears has just started to die down and you shake your head, unsure of what he means and not confident in your ability to speak. 

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

You stare at him. “What the fuck just happened to me?”

“This is my fault, I’m so sorry.”

“What?” 

He lifts his hands and you flinch. The look on his face is pure heartbreak, shrouded in golden light. “Please,” he murmurs. “Let me help you. I’m not going to hurt you.” 

It’s quiet, save for the sound of the humming air conditioner. 

Trust your gut, your sister had said. 

So you do because he’s offered to help you thus far. You nod, giving him access to you. He sags in relief, shuffling forward tentatively as he takes your face in his hands. His palms are impossibly warm. Your eyes flutter shut at the touch, unable to look at him this close, this boy of light and something, as he cradles your face. 

Warmth pools in your face, saturating down to your neck and chest. The ache in your lungs eases, and the lump in your throat continues to recede. You don’t want to ask what he’s doing. You don’t want to think. You don’t want to feel the terror of moments ago ever again, and with the way Hoseok is touching you, so close that his breath fans your brow, and you can smell him like rain and lavender, you want to embrace it. 

There’s no thought process to the way you lean up into him. Your eyes are closed, your breath shaking as you seek him. Hoseok makes a surprised noise, but it vanishes as you press your lips against his.

Relief sweeps through you. It’s nothing you’ve ever felt before, every drop of terror fading away, momentarily forgotten. Every ache vanishes. It’s just Hoseok and the way he burns brighter than the sun, and the way it doesn’t hurt anymore. 

After a brief moment of hesitation, he kisses you back. It’s sweet and soft-lipped, his fingers pressing into the side of your face gently as he pulls you to him. You follow his pull, both physically and something like a tether, getting up on your knees to get closer. 

Hoseok breaks the kiss, nose brushing yours. You open your eyes, half-lidded and feeling dizzy from just the gentle press of lips. His eyes are dark, but you see the light flecks of brown in them, like an entire world of sun and stars exist in their depths. 

“Make it go away,” you whisper.

You don’t specify. The pain, the nightmares, the fear, the weird town, the worry about your sister. You want it all to stop and this person you barely know - you feel as though he can take it away. Or mute it. 

He nods, eyes closing as he kisses you properly. You forget what you were worried about, and it’s all you can do not to fall headfirst into Hoseok. His mouth is warm and wet, tongue soft but greedy as he pries your mouth open, drinking you in. 

Hoseok’s lips tingle against yours, sending a shiver skating down your spine. You wrap your hands around his neck, fingers tangling in the silky strands there. He hums appreciatively when your nails slow-scratch at the base of his scalp. 

Carefully, Hoseok shuffles you into his lap. Your knees dip on the mattress on either side of his hips, straddling his waist. His hands find the hem of your sleep shirt and pull upward. You break the kiss, a string of spit connecting your flushed mouths before the garment breaks it.

The room is cold, air hitting your bare chest and hardening your nipples immediately. You whine but Hoseok is fast, pressing your chest to his as he attaches his mouth to your neck, sucking at the tender flesh sharply. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, letting your head drop backward heavily. Your eyes are shut and the world feels like it’s spinning. He has one hand on your hip, the other on the small of your back, pressing you to him to keep you warm and to rock your hips gently into his. “Feels good.”

He hums in response, sucking wet stains onto your flesh as he moves toward your chest. You push your tits out to meet his searching mouth, gasping lightly when the rough drag of his tongue swipes across your nipple. 

The sensation is overwhelming. Your fingers dig into the back of his neck as Hoseok sucks your peak greedily. You’re grinding into his lap on your own now, panties clinging to your hot, sticky folds as you seek friction. He’s hard beneath you and you want to feel him. 

Letting you rut in his lap, Hoseok drags delicate fingers over the curve of your ass and thigh, and his nails leave goosebumps in their wake. The feeling between your legs and at the base of your spine is heady as he lets go of one nipple with a sharp pop, tongue tracing a sloppy line to the other. 

Hoseok’s teeth tease the tight bud and you whine. “Oh?” he asks, voice rough and low. “Gonna be a baby about it?”

You shake your head, but your lip juts out as you look at him, dazed. “Want more.”

“Tell me.”

Dropping one hand from his neck, you take the hand resting on your thigh, guiding it between your legs. Hoseok presses the pads of his fingers to your underwear and you let out a keen. It’s not nearly enough, but the pressure sends another wave of arousal flooding through you. 

“Hmm,” he hums, dragging his fingers back and forth over the damp cloth. “Soaked from just that, huh?” You nod and he bites your collarbone. Fuck, he’s going to kill you, sending another tremble down your frame. He hooks a finger in your underwear, sliding against your glossy folds experimentally and he curses, “Fuck. Pussy is already messy and I’ve barely touched you.”

“Please.”

“What do you want? I already asked.”

“More.” Hoseok presses your clit, letting you drip onto his fingers, but he doesn’t move them. You grit your teeth. “Want your fingers,” you ask through clenched teeth. “Fuck me with them, anything. Please.” 

He grins, face wicked before he kisses your nose. “See, you just had to tell me.” 

You’re tense as he pulls your underwear to the side, shoving the fabric against your thigh. Cool air hits your cunt. You can’t recall ever wanting someone like this, vibrating uncontrollably as he traces your slit with his fingers, lazily circling your clit.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips and you drop your forehead on Hoseok’s shoulder. He lets you sag against him as he plays with your pussy, fingers barely dipping to tease your hole and gather juices before coming back to trace your clit, applying delicious pressure. 

It feels so good. It’s mind-numbing, letting him do what he wants. Hoseok pants in your ear, breathing stilted between chaste kisses against the side of your head. 

Painfully slow, Hoseok inserts a single finger into your wet heat. The sound you let out is high-pitched and loud. It’s not nearly enough, but you lose all sense of asking for more as his finger slides in deep, pressing against your front wall to massage that delicate spot inside of you.

“Oh shit,” you stutter, unable to help it. 

He laughs, voice deep when he asks, “Yeah? That the spot?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He slow-drags his finger in and out of your pussy, fucking you slowly. He curses, teasing you only for a moment before he gifts you another. The stretch is so much better, and you melt. He thrusts leisurely, not hard and fast but deep. Your walls swallow his fingers, gripping them and begging him not to stop as a tight coil winds in your stomach as he presses hard against your g-spot.

It’s messy, the wet drag of his fingers in your cunt. You feel the slow drip of arousal every time he pulls back, soaking his hand. It drops down your thighs as he picks up the pace. You lift your hips a little, adding a bounce to his motions. 

“Oh? You wanna do it?” He stops moving his hand and you let out a desperate sound. He laughs. “No, go ahead. If you’re so eager, do it yourself. Fuck yourself on my fingers.”

Seeking balance by holding his shoulders, you grip him tight, face tucked in his neck as you maneuver yourself, using your knees to lightly fuck yourself on his fingers. It feels so good, and you adjust the angle until you feel him hit that spot again, making you see stars. 

It’s electric, this feeling rippling in your bloodstream. It feels different with Hoseok and you can’t place why, but your orgasm is building so sharply in your stomach that you nearly stop thrusting, overwhelmed by the sensation. 

The pressure in your stomach winds and winds and winds until it snaps, every muscle in your thighs and ass squeezing tight, your hands turning to an iron grip, breath stuck in your lungs as you let out a strangled sound, squeezing Hoseok’s fingers as you come. 

Hoseok is whispering something in your ear, but you can’t hear him over the thundering heartbeat of your pulse, shaking as you come down from your high. When you do, you’re vaguely aware that he’s pulled his fingers out, but he’s massaging the tight ring of muscles, making you shiver.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Wanna see you stretch yourself on my cock like that.”

“Wanna,” you mumbled. 

Your limbs are heavy and lazy as you shuffle, uncoordinated. Hoseok laughs, finding you endearing as you scowl and shift off his lap. His touch is featherlight as he pulls your panties off. You need him, completely naked and shivering as your eyes drop from the smooth, carved planes of his chest and abs to the heavy imprint of his cock in his sweats.

And the wet stain mess you’ve made. 

Flushed, you watch as he looks up at you, smirking. “Go on.” 

Scooting toward him with eager hands, you rest with your feet tucked under you. Dipping your touch below his waistband, you grasp him firmly, cock heavy in your hand. He sighs, head tilting back a little while you slide your grip along his shaft.

Brushing your thumb over his tip to collect hot, sticky precum, you spread it, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you stroke him gently, testing the waters. His hips twitch and his mouth parts, gold light of the lamp turning him into Giovanni’s Apollo. He is ethereal, a burning sun and you suddenly understand why Icarus flew to his demise.

Maybe you will too. 

With your other hand, you push Hoseok’s sweats down. Though you could feel the size and swollen weight of him in your hand, it’s still a marvel when you see his thick length, dark tip oozing precum. 

A hiss escapes his teeth when you give him a firm squeeze. He lets you pump him lazily, and your mouth catches the underside of his jaw, teething and sucking sharp marks into his skin. He tastes like something electric and a little bit of sweat, your tongue buzzing. 

“Hmm,” he hums, fingers gripping the back of your neck to pull your mouth back up to his. It’s more spit and him gasping into your mouth more than anything. “You know how stunning you are?”

You feel heat creep up in your cheeks. Hoseok shuffles away from you and you let go of your grip on him, watching his dick slap against his stomach, smearing precum. He sits near the headboard, leaning against the wallpaper and staring at you with hungry eyes. 

“You’re going to make me shy,” you say softly, though you still crawl toward him. You can feel the slick slide of your inner thighs. He pumps his cock lazily, giving you a look that says he doesn’t believe you. “You’re pretty.”

“Think so?”

You nod, a little light-headed and uneven. You tilt toward the side and he catches you, hands sticky from your mixed arousal. Bending down, you capture his lips. Hoseok runs the crown of his cock through your folds and you moan, lips parting. He drinks in your sounds, licking them from the roof of your mouth. 

For a moment, it’s just the teasing and sloppy kissing, pausing to pant into each other's mouths, slick from sweat. He presses the blunt head of his dick into your hole, dipping only a little before retreating and sliding back up to tease your clit.

“Hoseok,” you growl, biting on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, the iron tang blooming in your mouth. He hisses out a laugh and does it again. This time, you lower your pussy, trying to catch him on an angle to sink down on him. “Stoooop.”

“Whiny baby,” he teases again. “Cock-hungry, huh?”

“Wanna be full.”

“Mmm.”

Hoseok repeats the motion, but this time lets you sink slowly on the length of him. The stretch stings, hurt-laced pleasure as you suck in a sharp breath and hold it. It feels like your lungs might burst, shaking as you slide down until your ass rests on his damp thighs and you feel the tip of his cock deep in your gut. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, leaning forward, palms pressed to his shoulders. They slide a little, his skin warm and sweaty. You dig your nails in for purchase and he sucks in a sharp breath, but lets you claw your way back to sanity from the feeling. “Deep.”

His hands find purchase on your ass, digging in and massaging. “Come on, then. You were so eager for my fingers.” 

You lift your hips a little, the slide delicious against your warm walls, and drop down with a wet smack. You both moan at that and you grin, putting the weight into Hoseok’s shoulders as you lift your hips again, hypnotized by the wet schlick of your cunt sliding on his length. 

Everything fades away again. Your thighs burn as you increase your movements, chasing the buzz that has settled deep in your stomach. Hoseok lets you use him, his eyes fixed on the way your cunt drips into his lap. 

His nails bite into the meat of your ass and you feel dragged under by the pleasure, the sting of his grip and the pressure of his cock hitting your g-spot sending you further and further.

Your legs grow a little tired, movements sloppy. Hoseok doesn’t mind, planting his feet on the bed and thrusting upward to meet you, hands supporting your weight under your ass. He helps lift you, pulling you up and down until you’re mumbling incoherently. 

It feels mind-numbingly good, and the tension in your stomach grows taught and tight, your second orgasm oncoming. 

“Come on,” Hoseok demands between clenched teeth. “Give it to me.” 

You nod, sliding a hand between your thighs, fingers circling your clit with just enough pressure and speed to get you shaking again. White spots appear in your vision as you squeeze your eyes shut, letting him take over and fuck up into you, cunt gushing as you come hard enough around him that you fall forward. 

Hoseok lets you lay on his chest, dead weight as he claws at your ass and thighs, rutting up into you. You’re dimly aware of the soaked mess of your smacking bodies, but your ears are ringing and you feel lighter than you’ve ever felt before. 

You begin to whine in oversensitivity just as Hoseok slams into you as deep as he can, cock twitching and filling you up. You shiver as he grunts, hips bucking with a wet squelch as he gently fucks you through his orgasm.

Both of you lay there in a messy pile as his cock softens inside of you. Cum pools between your pressed bodies, but you don’t care. The room is humid, the light dim with the haze of how far gone you feel. Hoseok traces soft circles on your hips with his fingers. Your mouth is pressed against his jaw, breath kissing his skin. 

You could fall asleep here, you think. It’s nice to forget for a while, to let your body feel the pounding of his heart against your chest, the shaking of his thighs against yours, the ache in your muscles. 

Heaviness tugs at you, so close to pulling you under, but Hoseok stirs. You feel drunk, letting him peel the two of you apart until you’re stumbling to the shower. The air makes your tacky, cum-covered skin cold. 

It’s hard to fit both of you in the shower, but you manage it, rotating under the rough spray of the hot water, hands exploring and kneading sore muscles. Your lips are abused and feel bruised, but it doesn’t stop you from seeking the comfort of his mouth, the world turning to static every time you kiss him. 

The motel room smells like sex and sweat when you return to peel clothes back on. Wordlessly, Hoseok takes your hand and leads you to his room on the other side of the wall. It has the same faded wallpaper, the same dusty and stained lampshades, but it looks more lived in.

There are added pieces in the room. A dehumidifier hums in the corner, and there is a hamper full of clothes. Hoseok has added plants near the window, plasticky leaves vibrant green and shiny. Burnt-out incense sits on the plastic folding table he’s erected, books and papers splayed out over its surface. There’s a collection of crystals you can’t identify.

An inviting bed beckons you. You both fall into it, heavy-limbed and sighing. It smells like Hoseok, a mix of rain and lavender. There’s a sense of trepidation as you roll over on the mattress.

Carefully, Hoseok pulls you to him. He presses your back to his chest, one arm going under his head as he yawns and smacks his lips lightly, the other looping over your waist.  

“No one is going to bother you,” he sleep-slurs. “I got rid of them. And they won’t go against me.”

You hum, sleep crawling up and stealing your thoughts. You wonder how he got rid of them and why they’re afraid of him. 

It isn’t until he mumbles a response that you realize you’ve spoken your question out loud. “Because,” he sighs, words slow and soft, as he drifts off to sleep. “I told them you’re mine.” 

Hoseok’s words are lost on you because you’re long asleep. 

-

No dreams disturb you. When you wake up, you feel the weight of the night before on you. It’s cool and empty behind you as you startle, realizing you’d fallen asleep with Hoseok there. You look over your shoulder, blinking away sleep, and see that it’s just you in the dark room.

From the bathroom, you can hear the shower. You relax a little, groaning as you roll to your back and stare up at the popcorn-textured ceiling. Your thighs still burn with the soreness from the night before and you bite your bottom lip, trying to conceal your grin. 

Gently, you bring your hand to prod at your neck where it had hurt so much last night. You remember the lock-limb nightmare, the feeling of needing to scream. The thought that you were dying. 

Hoseok had saved you, but it begged the question of how. You remember asking him last night, but you cannot remember what he answered. You’re also surprised to find that you’re not in any pain from whoever or whatever had attacked you. 

Unease turns your stomach but you decide to crawl out of his bed, wandering around his room. A salt lamp casts an orange glow on his makeshift desk. You’re drawn to the mess on top of it, looking at the stacks of books and frowning. They’re not in English - or any language that you know, embossed symbols and shapes on the covers and cracked spines. 

Lifting a heavy, green canvas book, you flip it over in your hands. The edges of the paper are yellow and oxidized with time and there is a gold symbol pressed on the front. Your fingers trace the groove, remembering what Hoseok said the day before about sacred geometry. 

Putting it down, you select another book. It has a pentagram on it. When you flip the book open, the pages are filled with slanted writing, diagrams, and shapes. You recognize sabbat dates and stop when you get to a picture of interlocking shapes. You trace the symbol absently, wondering what it means. 

Why does he have books like this? 

A current of electricity slides up the finger that’s tracing the symbol. You squeak in surprise and drop it, cringing at the loud clatter that it makes against the table. The shower flips off and you look at the shut door. Hoseok moves around before opening the door, sticking his head out. He’s dripping in water, hair slicked back, golden skin glistening. 

Despite the night before, you avert your eyes, shy. He doesn’t notice or doesn’t say anything, instead asking. “You okay?” He glances down at the books. “Good luck reading those.” 

“Yeah,” you answer absently.

He grins. “Be out in a second.”

When Hoseok shuts the door, you feel unsettled. Rubbing your arms to fend off a sudden chill, you continue looking through the things on his table. There’s a small glass case with the exoskeleton of a frog. You cringe, thinking about Hoseok’s pet frog awaiting death in his pitcher plants.

Hoseok’s phone starts vibrating on the desk, making you gasp. Your hand goes to your chest, feeling the way your heart pounds violently against your rib cage. Looking at the screen, you see that someone named Yoongi is calling him. 

You hesitate, cocking your head. The name rings familiar, and you watch as the call goes to voicemail. The screen fades to black but you keep staring at it. Not for the first time on your trip, you get the sense that you’re missing something, that there is something right there. 

A text from Yoongi comes in, lighting up the screen. 

Jung, you better not be fucking around with your prey again. We need to prepare. 

It doesn’t sit well with you. When the screen goes dark, you tap it, bringing up the preview. What the hell does Yoongi mean fucking around with your prey? And what are they preparing for? You swear you remember the name Yoongi, retracing your thoughts. 

You feel the blood drain from your face. You do know that name. 

“Yoongi was so mad he wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”

“What?” you had asked him. “Your cat talks?”

“Oh- he- well he meows, you know what I mean?”

Slowly, you stiffen, remembering Hoseok’s words after breakfast. It had seemed silly then, that Hoseok was talking about a cat. But it’s not the only place you’ve seen Yoongi’s name. 

Trust your gut, your sister always said. 

You look at the bathroom door once before turning on your heel and creep from the room. You pull the front door open slowly, wincing and holding your breath as the outside world makes noise. Slipping through, you’re careful not to let the door click loudly before running to your room. 

With the same care, you shut your door, flipping the bolt lock and sliding the chain in the door. The room feels like it’s spinning, your tunnel vision making you dizzy as you sweep your gaze back and forth, looking for the piles of your sister's research. It’s sitting on the floor, shoved off the bed where you let him fuck you last night. 

The urge to vomit flips your stomach as you dive for the papers, riffling through them and scanning, feverish and sweaty. You find the entry you want, finger pressing to the page as you read it multiple times, fear making the words tangle.

Only Mabon is referenced in any of the journals explicitly, in a strange entry from a man named Yoongi Min. I have written it here for safekeeping: We bringeth the little lamb to The Wood today for the honor of Mabon. I loathe to see him go, for he hath brought cheer and many a smile to the Covenstead. May he bring us blessings and warmth in the winter. 

Yoongi. 

A sick feeling coils in your stomach as your hands tremble, eyes scanning the list of names your sister scribbled out as old families in Kill Devil. There’s another one you remember, the one that Yoongi used in his text to Hoseok. 

Booth. 

Park. 

Warren. 

Kim. 

Jung. 

Jeon.

Min.

A shaking hand presses to your mouth. Jung. “Fuck,” you squeak, looking at the wall separating you from Hoseok’s room.

It occurs to you that all this time, you thought the citizens were looking at Hoseok with contempt. How easily hatred can be confused for fear. Hoseok, who had shown up every time you were having a night terror. Who seemingly knew all the right things to do to ease you.

Hoseok, who had flashes of darkness that terrified you. Whose expression could go blank as he thought about something, but flip on a dime to a bright, sunny boy. Hoseok, whose presence always gave you a weird tingle, triggering some sort of instinct you couldn’t place. 

Something happens then. With absolute certainty and a razor-sharp resolve that you’ve never experienced, you know your sister is dead. Perhaps you’ve always known. The sudden burning of your locket that night two months ago, the way that it looks like she ceased to exist. The eerie feeling dogging you, nipping at your heels. 

Hanna is dead. The pain is only sharp for a second, a slice of agony as you bend over, arms wrapped around your stomach as you let out a silent scream. The grief is powerful but abrupt as you hear Hoseok call your name on the other side of the wall. 

You stand. Because now you can’t mourn. Now, you must leave as quickly as possible. Because you hadn’t been trusting your gut, ignoring that weird little sense of something wrong. 

Now isn’t the time to scream over what you know. Now you must get away from-

“Was it the books or the phone call?” 

You whirl around. Hoseok is leaning against the wall by the door. The bolt is still flipped and the chain is still in place. You’re frozen to the spot, staring at him. He looks at the papers on the floor and back to you, smirk razor-sharp. Of course, he could get into the room without opening the lock. 

All of the features you thought were beautiful are suddenly terrifying. “It took you way too long to puzzle it together, but I guess you’re not nearly as smart as Hanna.” You open your mouth but nothing comes out, throat constricted. “You were so easy to convince though, so I guess that’s something.”

“I don’t…” your voice is raspy, shaking. 

“When you kept calling the city officials, I knew it was only time before you showed up here. I’ve been living in this fucking shit hole waiting.” He tsks and shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “Took you forever.”

“The citizens?”

“Stay out of my way and stay out of the Wood. They’re the frogs I let live, so long as I find other ones.”

“Why?” you ask, shaking your head. It’s the only question you can think of. It’s the only question that matters: whywhywhywhy. “Why help me?”

“Sometimes a predator likes to play with its prey.” 

It dawns on you that he had said as much at breakfast while he was tracing symbols on the table. He had been talking about his frogs, but he had been talking about you too. How many signs had you missed because he fucking smiled at you? Something dangerous lurking behind light flirting. 

He points to himself. “Pitcher plant.” He points at you with a grin. “Frog. Ribbit.”

“Fuck you,” you snarl, fear replaced by a hatred that burns so hot the edges of your vision flash red. But it isn’t him you’re mad at. It’s you. For being so easily deceived. For being so casually influenced in a matter of days. “Fuck you, and your fucking town.” 

“I did fuck you. You were special, though. I hope that makes you feel better. Didn’t fuck your sister. You’re cute, and I had time to spare.” 

“All of this for what? To get off on the chase? The manipulation?”

He scoffs. “I already told you what this place is. It isn’t my fault you didn’t put it together. I almost hand-fed it to you. The Wood gives us power, and the Wood needs sacrifices.” Hoseok pushes himself off of the wall, his smile like the first light of the morning sun. “I’m taking you to the Wood.”

[jayhoee]

Song Game!

Tagged by my bby @mygukandonly !!THANK YOU ILYSMMMMMM 🥰🥰❤️❤️

Rules: You can only repeat one artist and only one time, so we can all kind of spread new music to the people we tag! try to listen to at least one of the songs people rec here! Music is fun! 

1. One song that you loved the first time you listened to and never got tired of? - Location ( Khalid ) 

2.  One song you cry everytime you listen to or makes you emotional?                     - Forever Rain ( RM ) 

3. One song that always makes you happy/ smile ?                                                           - No money ( Galantis ) 

4. One song that you would dedicate to your best friend and/ or your family?     - Call on me ( Ryan Riback remix ) -  Starley 

5. One song with a production ( the sounds , the beat , the mood ) you love?         - All I want ( Manilla Killa remix ) - Dawn Golden

6. One song with perfect, amazing, outstanding lyrics?                                                       - Magic Shop ( BTS )

7. One song you would recommend to anyone?                                                               - SUGA’s interlude ( Halsey , SUGA & BTS )

8. One song you don't understand why you like so much but you do anyways?         - 92 Explorer ( Post Malone ) 

9. One song people in general wouldn't like but you do?                                                   - Trampoline ( Kero Kero Bonito ) 

10. One song people normally like but you dont like/ hate ?                                 - I dont really have any???? lmao I'm boring 

11. One song you recently ( 30 days max) discovered and really liked?                          - Levanter ( Stray Kids ) 

12. One song you listen to get pumped like you wanna tear down the fucking government or something?                                                                                     - Hard Carry ( GOT7 ) 

Tagging my loves💜: 

@napofamikrokosmos @khaleesionjupiter @favjoon @tiernamente @yeettmeplease @arimvv @chaotic-taetae @dimpled-gukkie @daze-six @taeicci @mi-sol-en-seoul @yoongisdumplingcheeks @bangtaninparadise @ahh--lexia @acc3ssdenied @illuminss @hobissunshiness @spaceprintesa

[thebangtancloud]

Hey dear <3 Hope you are doing well ^_^ How would BTS react when they found you vaping

He finds you vaping / He finds out you vape~ BTS Reactions

Genre: Angst, Fluff Warnings: Mentions of dependence and withdrawal symptoms. Mentions of smoking.

A/n: I have no personal experience with vaping, neither have I ever seen nor held a vape for me to know much about it. Thanks to my dearest best friend who gave me an in-depth explanation of how it works. If there's any information that may be wrong, please don't mind ~~ :)

Kim Namjoon:

"Stressed?"

Namjoon's hand slid across the expanse of your clothed lower back, naturally sliding into the little space between you and the corner of the railing of the balcony.

"What're you doing here?"

A puff of smoke left your mouth when you chuckled, a brief raise of your eyebrows greeting Namjoon.

"Came to ask you if you needed something to eat," he explained with a light smile. Averting his gaze, Namjoon looked across at the buildings that he could see from where the two of you were standing, continuing to run the pad of his thumb across a small area over your back subconsciously

"Not too hungry," you responded. "I lost my appetite."

"Something happened?" He only looked towards you to catch sight of any discomfort in your eyes.

"Meh," you shrugged. "Work. Life goes on."

"Sure does," he chose not to push further. "Not with you being alone, of course. I'm here to stand with you, walk with you."

"Not in the mood to cry, Namjoon," you deadpanned, slipping the vape into your pocket. Only then did Namjoon let his gaze linger, finally reflecting the concern that he felt towards you in his warm brown eyes.

"Since when did you start?"

You looked away but simultaneously leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around your shoulders. Your back rested against his chest, feeling him move just a little step closer so that he could let you mold into him.

"It's been years," you chuckled dryly, "if you're asking me when I started."

"Yeah?"

"I don't use it unless I'm really stressed. One or two puffs used to get me through the day but I just can't control it anymore, y'know?"

"Mhm," he hummed against the side of your head. "It's okay."

"I want to stop," you said. "But it's not easy."

"Can I help you in any way?"

You simply laughed in response.

"I'll help you," he vowed instead, knowing that you wouldn't allow yourself to feel vulnerable, even if you needed it.

"When you can't be strong anymore, I'll be there for you. I'll hold you when you fall, I promise."

Kim Seokjin:

"Can I try?"

You looked across at Jin who was walking towards the car that you were in with a grin on his face.

"I've seen this in your bag but I've never seen you use it. Also - you look hot."

"Get in the car," you rolled your eyes at the way he was flirting with you.

"I'll get in, but I wanna try. Lemme try."

"Jin," you warned but broke into a giggle anyway, reaching your hand up to lightly slap the edge of his jaw.

His eyes widened comically.

"Did you just hit me?"

"You barely even felt it," you spoke, shaking your head and refusing to entertain his whines, turning the car back on and reaching for your seatbelt.

"But you gotta let me try it once! It's good to try everything once in a while, you know?"

"Get in the car, will you?"

"Or what?" he sassed, walking towards the passenger seat nonetheless.

"What time's the train?" you tried to distract him, but the unimpressed look that he gave you made you snort.

"You booked the tickets, why're you asking me?"

"Right," you nodded in response. Just when you were about to pull out of the driveway, Jin's hand reached up right in front of your face.

"Let me try it."

"Bruh," you scoffed, slapping the vape onto his palm and pushing it towards him. "Go ahead. Do what you want and stop annoying me."

"Too bad, that's what I'll be doing for the next five days. Oh? What flavor is- YUCK!"

You almost choked at the way he began to gag, watching in fascination when he threw the vape onto your lap.

"Oh my god I wanna throw up," he groaned, leaning his head out of the window for some fresh air. "That tasted like sand!"

"Why do you think I didn't want you to try?"

"You're insane to actually like something like this. Oh god, my throat feels weird now."

Min Yoongi:

"Wow," Yoongi gasped under his breath, eyes wide in surprise when they met yours.

Your hand immediately lowered, hiding the vape away from his sight.

"No, no," he quickly shook his hands, "don't worry, it's just me, I don't mind."

"What're you doing here, Yoongi?"

"I could ask you the same, honestly," he murmured when he was close enough to you.

"You just left."

"You gave me no choice," you defended your decision, turning to look away from Yoongi. "How could I have stayed after all that?"

"I was wrong," he admitted, a trembling hand reaching up to touch your arm. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"I'm not coming home tonight, if that's why you're here, Yoongi."

"That's not why I'm here," he quickly came up with a response. "I didn't come to take you home. I came to be with you instead."

"Yeah, right," you rolled your eyes. "Didn't see that one coming."

"Don't be such a meanie," he whined, finally attaching himself to you and resting his chin over your shoulder, hoping you'd be able to hear the pout in his voice.

"I learn from you."

"Ouch."

He didn't bother adding to the conversation, instead, he reached for your hand that was rigidly holding the vape in your pocket, his cold fingers taking you aback.

"Can I use it too?"

"Do as you please," you muttered with a light shrug. "Who am I to stop you?"

"You're being so mean," he shook his head lightly, knowing that he deserved it. Holding the vape to his mouth, he could barely pull a puff before a smirk grew on his face.

"We indirectly kissed just now."

You blinked, too numb to reply.

"Ooh, apple. This reminds me of the-"

"Why are you doing this, Yoongi?" You swiftly turned to face him, his arm dropping from your side. He gazed up into your eyes, feeling his heart sink at the tears that were already shining in them.

"Why are you acting as if everything is fine? It's clearly not! I'm hurt by what you said and I find it unfair that you're pretending as though the fight never happened!"

"I'm sorry," he urgently apologized. "You know I am. That's why I'm here. I couldn't let you go."

"Yoongi- I... ugh," you sighed in exasperation. "This isn't fair."

"I'm sorry," he repeated sincerely, taking a tentative step towards you. "I'm sorry for making you leave and stressing you out so much. I really am sorry, baby. Give me one chance to make it up to you, please."

"Why?"

"Why?" he parroted lamely, looking deep into your eyes and simply reaching for your hand once again.

"Because I love you too much to give up on us."

Jung Hoseok:

"Damn baby," Hoseok whistled, the flash of the polaroid camera immediately making you bend forward and cover your eyes after he took the picture.

"That looks so cool!" Hoseok exclaimed, taking the picture and shaking it in the air as he waited for it to develop.

"I almost forgot how to vape," you chuckled humorously, throwing it against the side of the couch and leaning back in exhaustion. "Ah! You make me so nervous with all those instructions! My back hurts now."

"That's what you do in order to have a good picture taken," he smiled gently across at your figure, quickly diverting his attention to the polaroid in his hand.

"Look! It actually did form a proper circle!"

"Thank God," you groaned. "We tried that so many times - I'm surprised I can breathe just fine."

"All I'm going to taste on my lips will be bubble gum," Hoseok sang under his breath, quickly sitting down beside you to show you how the picture came out.

"Damn, I'm going to put this on the back of my phone."

"People will notice," you reminded him.

"My personal phone," Hoseok kindly told you. "Not the office phone."

"Careful, though," you warned with a chuckle. "People could misunderstand."

"I don't care," he shrugged, turning to completely face you and hold your face within his palm. "You look pretty in this picture, that's all that matters to me."

"Stop," you giggled, pushing him away with a shake of your head. "I don't even know why you'd want a picture of me blowing out smoke. It's a surprise you didn't get angry when you caught me vaping this morning."

"Why would I ever?" He asked you incredulously. "What's wrong with that? I respect you and every decision you make, and this isn't any different."

"You're truly an angel, you know that?"

Hoseok smirked, delicately placing the camera down on the table before lunging forward to grab your face within his hold.

"Yeah, I do. I'm an angel who loves the taste of bubblegum, especially when it's from your lips."

"I won't taste like bubblegum, Hobi," you laughed at his words. "It's only the- umph!"

He wouldn't let you complete though. Angels have work to do, too, y'know?

Park Jimin:

"Are you feeling okay now?"

Jimin was extremely worried after having witnessed you experiencing a panic attack moments before he had to leave for work.

"Can I get you something else? Please tell me."

"I'm okay, Jimin," you gently took a hold of his hand. "I've just been really... I don't know. I've been on edge for a while, my heart was racing for some weird reason."

"Do you want to go to the doctor?"

"No, no," you shook your head, reaching for his arms and attempting to pull him up from where he was on his knees in front of you. "I'm okay now."

"Are you sure this helped?" Jimin briefly glanced at the vape that you had placed on the bed beside you. "Tell me if you need something, please."

"I'm alright," you touched the side of his face. "Don't worry so much, I might get even more stressed."

"How can I not worry, (Y/n)?" Jimin frowned deeply. "After what I just saw? Is your health alright? Let's just go to the hospital (Y/n), please."

"Jimin," you managed to laugh lightly. "I've just been extremely stressed and I really wanted to... break my dependence on this," you pointed to the vape. "But I guess my body couldn't take it."

"How long has it been since you last used this?"

"Almost four days," you responded. "It's the longest I've gone without using it for almost three years now."

"(Y/n)," Jimin's voice dropped in concern. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Jimin never once let go of your hand, noticing the slight tremor in your fingers and continuing to run his warm palm over them.

"I guess I was a little ashamed," you spoke softly. "This isn't something to be proud of, y'know?"

"Whatever it is," Jimin shook his head. "It's a part of you. A part of your life. I want to be a part of your life and I want to take care of you, (Y/n). Just like you always take care of me. Please... just don't hide things like this from me. It scares me to think that you would've had this panic attack after I left. You would've been alone - I hate to think that you could've felt-"

"Jimin," you stopped him by placing a shaky hand over his lips. "I'm sorry I kept this away from you, but I won't do that again. I promise."

"I'm so worried, (Y/n)," Jimin admitted in a low whisper, taking a hold of your hand and placing it back on his lap.

"I don't ever want you to go through this alone."

"I'm sorry," you murmured. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"It's alright, now," Jimin gently placed a warm kiss on your temple. "I'm here now."

Kim Taehyung:

"Can I borrow your vape?"

"My what?" You looked up at Taehyung in shock.

"Your vape," he repeated casually. "I left my pack of cigs in the car."

"Oh," you nodded numbly. "Yeah, sure. It's in my bag."

"You look surprised," Taehyung chuckled when your eyes looked unfocused. "It's no biggie, I don't mind if you vape or anything, sweetheart."

"No that's not it," you shook your head. "How'd you know?"

"I saw you this morning," he explained.

Your lips pursed into a straight line.

"Really? Why didn't you tell me before?"

Settling down beside you with your bag in his hand, Taehyung briefly paused to shoot a smile your way.

"You looked like you needed some time to yourself, so I didn't want to disturb you."

"Really?" A dry chuckle buzzed through your chest. "To be honest, I was... I mean - I just wanted to be with you at that moment."

For just a moment, Taehyung froze, his eyebrows pinching together in concern.

"All okay?" Taehyung reached a hand out for you to place yours in. "I'm sorry, I should've known better."

"No, don't worry about it," you slipped your hand into his warm palm, smiling gently at the contact. "I'm all good now."

"Are you stressed, my love?"

You managed to shake your head bravely.

"Not too much. I promise."

"I love you," he reminded you gently. "I hope you know that."

"I do. And I love you more."

"Nice, but I love you most."

Jeon Jungkook:

"That's fancy as hell," Jungkook gasped lowly, eyes wide in fascination. "When I first saw this in your bag, I thought it was a massive lipstick or a tiny toothbrush holder or something."

"You're such a dork," you slapped Jungkook's shoulder lightly. "Toothbrush holder?"

"You know, those travel toothbrush packs? The ones we take on tour with us?"

"You're really a dork, you know that?"

Jungkook's eyes rolled playfully at you. "Only for you."

For a few moments, the two of you slipped into a comfortable silence, Jungkook's hand reaching for the side of your face to tuck some loose hair behind your ear. A gentle breeze just happened to blow some more hair onto your face which brought a slight giggle from you.

"You're pretty, you know that?"

"Should I be really cheesy and say 'only for you'?"

"Aye," the man laughed, pinching your cheeks lightly. "I'd love for you to be pretty only for me, but unfortunately every guy who sees you thinks you're pretty too. What if they come and steal you away from me?"

"Too bad, I have a thing for dorks," you chuckled, squeezing past his arms that were raised to hold your head and resting the side of your face against his chest.

"Never been more thankful for being a dork," Jungkook commented lightly. "But babe - I wanna try this."

"You can," you placed the vape in your hand. "But don't overdo it, you might-"

"Yeah, yeah, I won't," he nodded. "I just want to try it once. Taehyungie hyung looks cool when he smokes, even though it's bad for his health. I might just convince him to switch to this or something."

BTS Reactions Masterlist.

Main Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @hopestastic, @joondiary, @0xnna0, @cuteipat, @koalasandcuddles, @fxndomsqueen, @blissedjoon, @underratedbitch-number13, @tinyoonsblog, @itachi-chi @sparkyprotectionsquad @scuzmunkie, @uno7

Surprise Serotonin Boost!

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[lefthandsuzukimethod]

tag people you want to get to know better

tagged by @captain-apostrophe! <3

tagging (but only if you want to): @vexingcosmos, @spectralprongs,  @brehaaorgana ,  @grandsairs, @christinismithe, @serendipitysunnyflower and anyone else who wants to do it!! <33

your name and then what you would have named yourself: ana! i am good with my name tbh idk that i'd change it

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): libra/leo/capricorn

when did you join tumblr and why?: i just checked and i have been a part of this hellsite since feb 2009 fladkfmaf i remember there was like a week that almost all of ontd_ffa joined @ once because one of us was like HEY THERES A COOL NEW SITE and i'm still here lmao

top 5 fandoms: like active fandoms or just Things I Like? obv rn like… mdzs/the untamed lmao, but also bnha and ffxv pero like in tiny circles??? idk fandom for me is better when u curate your experience, also yk when people are like hey what do u want for christmas and your brain decides it suddenly doesn't know anything? that's what my brain is doing right now lol, UHHHH lemme get back to you on the rest of them. OH i am also dipping my toes into the bts fandom with @spectralprongs's help!! <3 i'm also still very mad that in the flesh was canceled after 9 episodes

top 5 favorite films: pan's labyrinth, pacific rim, coco, jurassic park, the devil's backbone probably 

go to song when you wanna Feel something: when i want to feel WHAT THO? so many moods, so many songs if you get specific i might have a better answer lol

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised catholic, so there's a flavor of catholic jokes that will always make me laugh

a song that makes you feel seen: la respuesta lmfaldfmllkm YO NO NECESITO UN HOMBRE QUE ME JODA

if you could have any career: i wanted to be a photographer traveling the world taking pics and getting paid for it, but idk i'm p ok where i am rn working in immigration law if only because i can help people

do you have a type?: sweet gremlin men with nice bone structure, women who could probably beat me up

what does your heart/soul yearn for: for unprecedented times to be OVER please a bitch is tired

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: I Cannot for some reason it's so hard for me to describe myself lol but if anyone else wants to answer this for me GO FOR IT

favorite subjects in school: photography! art! languages! english! french! music classes!

where does your soul feel most at home: anywhere i can relax with my favorite people <3  

top 5 fictional characters:                                        

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: OOF moments??? the first ep of futurama with seymour the dog, the season finales of itf, idk i try not to watch shows that are going to make me sad lmao i'm cheating and putting the beginning of up here too

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the earth we are not nice enough to her she's doing her best!!!! the stars are a close second but i don't get to look @ them enough thanks light pollution

favorite kind of weather: SNOWSTORM you can spend all day playing in it and then be cozy inside after with blankets and soup

top 3 characters you relate to: I CHANGED THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT WAS WORDED LMAO but every oldest sibling from the untamed who raised their younger siblings oldest siblings deserve financial compensation!!!, prob the weasley twins who are v smart but also v much not about their grades lol (that's 6 it counts)

favorite medium of art: all of them i refuse to pick one!!! well no i can tell u my least favorite art medium is art made from trash and/or period blood

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: extrovert allegedly

a favorite literary quote: bruh i haven't read an actual book in SO LONG i need to make more time to read

some of your favorite books: remind me about this one i am at work and have forgotten every single book i've ever read

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i think i'm ok here! i love traveling and visiting new places, but i live super close to a big city and i like having Four Seasons (total landscaping ladfkamdf i'm sorry it was right there)

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: mmm like cap said, history hasn't been particularly good to female-presenting people, and i'm gonna add that it's also been sorta terrible to not white people. NOT THAT NOW GOING PARTICULARLY WELL LMAO BUT UHHHH. if i could go just like watch history, maybe a period when art/music was having a big boom

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: piano!!! i have one but i can only play by ear lmao (it was an inheritance) i should be able to read music after many years playing different instruments but nope none of it stuck

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: all of my recent selfies have been mask selfies i sent kie or pics of office puppy on the selfie camera WHOOPS i don't really take selfies

[caandlelit]

so theres this girl in the grade below me right??? im Kind Of friends with her bc i saw her and i was like Fuck shes beautiful so obviously i made friends with her really lesbian bts stan friend but didnt have the Balls to start up a friendship with her bc shes beautiful and lovely

so now im super good friends with bts stan lesbian alright . shes chill and we’re tight now. but tragically ive only reaLLY talked to hot girl Once when me and her and lesbian bts stan talked abt taylor swift and other music and i found out her favourite song off of lover is cornelia street and i listened to it on loop since then. this was when lover came out. meaning Months ago

and now i stare at her pathetically from a distance daily and occasionally she graces me with a smile of acknowledgement. im really really tragic ok like

the other day i was talking to lesbian kpoppie (sorry, aRMY) in front of her and after i was done talking to her i turned around and saw her and swallowed the lump in my throat and said ‘h-hey’ and she was so fuckwkdjfhgd. Hot ok. her hair was in twin ponytails for some fucking reason????? its usually open but that day it was tied in twiN PONYTAILS and i was like wHAT THE FUCK and i couldnt speak

 so i blurted out ‘your hair looks really good today’ could i get gayer at this point. ‘looks good’ fUCk off thats so fukcing gay of me ‘looks good’ thats REALLY GAY and she was just like ‘thanks lmaoo <33′ and her smile im 😌🥰🤡

shes just so beautiful ok im . fuck

but the only reason im holding out a hope at this point is bc !! shes bffs with a lesbian man maYBE shes like bi or something !!!!! 

so im talking to some other girl from her grade bc i have a free class and so do some people from her grade (including her!!!!)

and she comes over at some point bc she knows us both

so i start being funnier alright its the obvious reaction and im always more confident when theyres someone else there too

and shes laughing so much and shes so cute and pretty im ,,,

and then we’re talking abt music ok and hot famous people??? and hot girl rants abt how Godly zendaya is for like a minute so im like !!!!!?????

and im being really fuckin funny other girl has her laptop out bc she was writing some essay or some shit and shes looking up pics of celebs we’re talking abt and im being fUNNY she searches bella hadid and i take the laptop and change bella to gigi and give it back and go ‘fixed it for u lol’ and hot girl laughs for a minute an dim swooning

and then other girl opens up a picture of the weeknd and i dIDNT KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE so i go ‘who the fuck is that’ and hot girl loses her shit and shes so hot and other girl gets so offended and shes like iTS tHe wEEkeND and i go ‘oOOOO FUCK THAT GUY !! nO fuckiN WONDER i didnt know who he was he fUCKIN SUCKS’ and hot girl is basically crying shes so hot bruh i felt like id ascended 🥴

and she was like ‘same i Hate him’ in between laughter and i was like ‘shes the love of my life’ and other girl gets so offended shes sO mad and im on a roll i go ‘well i mean God i was rIGHt in hating him and his Shit music if he looks like tHAT’ and she fc7djsing gets up and leAVES and hot girl immediately takes her place and we talk for ages

we talked for like the whole hour we were both free we talked till literally school ending it was the last few classes anyways

but in between our bonding during which we became great friends and i fell slightly in love with her

she mentioned that she was straight

and like . she talks like a hip twitter stan and . id been hoping she was bi . 

but she was, in retrospect, obviously a chill and very hot ally who was Fantastic but was tragically only attracted to men like She Said That and i literally said out loud ‘well thats a fucking crime what the fuck’ and she laughed but id already gone through all the stages of grief,,,,,,,, like we can be friends but ,,,,,,,,,

i was laying it on thick after that i was straight up flirting with her by the end of the convo like she hUGGED ME before she left and i told her she smells nice and she giggled and said she doesnt know how to respond to compliments and her smile is. the only reward

im gonna be crying abt how shes straight for like a month,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im gonna become a songwriter and im Only gonna write abt how she makes me wanna be a butch but also makes me weak and no thoughts head empty only worship the beautiful girl

so anyways rant over im in mourning peace out <3

[saltpepperbeard]

Okay I’m officially back on my Joshifer bullshit thanks to you lmao. What are your thoughts on all the drama surrounding JH and CT? Do you think she’s the reason Joshifer never came out and admitted they were dating? Or was it because of JL and NH? I figure it’s been long enough that you can talk about it freely without starting the Discourse™️. Feel free to ignore this though if you think otherwise, I don’t want you to get any hate lol.

I feel like my blog should come with a disclaimer honestly. Like, CAUTION: CHANCE TO GET BACK ON YOUR JOSHIFER BULLSHIT UPON VISITING lol. But oooh goodness we’re spilling tea of THAT caliber, huh anon? I don’t mind talking about it at all these days though. Because yeah, I believe we’re definitely out of the shipping war/Discourse™️ days, and I’ve also reached the level of Fandom Veteran where I just…No longer Give A Care lmao. TOO TIRED TO CARE.

But BECAUSE I have a tendency to get ramble-y, let’s go beneath the cut~

Okay so first off, I’ll start out with my honest thoughts on Joshifer, and what I think they had and/or what happened between them. The thing I lean towards the most is that they messed around at Hawaii. I think it’s the most likely thing, given that they were both young, pretty newly single, and alone on that island together. And looking at all the BTS footage, plus every promo that followed? Come on now. And maybe it wasn’t sex necessarily. But at LEAST making out/heavy petting or SOMETHING, my dude. I WANT TO BELIEVE lol.

So, what I LIKE to think happened is that Jen and Josh messed around/had sex/attempted to get into a relationship during the filming of Catching Fire filming somewhere. But in the midst of that, Jen got a little too scared with the whole idea, and ended up breaking things off to eventually go back to Nick. Which, in turn, hurt Josh enough to attempt to mend his wounds by starting a new relationship with Claudia that following summer.

And then that’s where things get…ROCKY lol. Because back in the day, I definitely used to think that Joshifer’s story didn’t end there. I thought that, somewhere down the line, they had to start messing around again or dating in secret, because there were some pretty eyebrow-raising events that took place.

The two ones that instantly jump to my mind are of course, Cannes and the MJ1 Promo. And hell, even MJ2 promo honestly. Cannes because of Jen giving Josh a LAPDANCE and the two of them leaving the party BY THEMSELVES, TOGETHER, “INTO THE NIGHT.” Mockingjay Part One because of them both contracting strep throat, but no one else in the cast/crew seemed to get it. And Mockingjay Part Two because of all those random kisses/bouts of physical affection.

Bruh, I was just CONVINCED that they were going to come out as a couple following the wrap of Mockingjay Part 2. I really really was. But then…they never did. They both seemed to go quite separate ways for that matter. So that’s left my mind to kind of shift a bit and to start questioning things.

Because, almost all throughout the Mockingjay Promos, both Josh and Jen were linked to relationships. Jen with Nick for a bit, and then Chris Martin for a bit, and Josh with Claudia (See I’m to the point where I don’t mind dropping names lol FIGHT ME). So like…BACK IN THE DAY X2 lol, I thought that they were just “cover up” relationships. Or PR relationships, if you will. I kind of hopped aboard that bandwagon because of how CONVINCING Joshifer seemed.

That, and Josh’s relationship with Claudia and Jen’s relationship with Chris just seemed…weird lmao. They didn’t seem anything like what I was seeing during promo with Josh and Jen. So that made me even more convinced that I was on the right track.

But then Jen broke it off with Chris only to move on to Darren, and then to Cooke, and Josh remained with Claudia. The ship I was nearly certain was going to take off never did. So it left me reevaluating tbh.

It made me think that Josh and Claudia had to be an actual relationship. Because, come on lol, there’s no way. Why the hell would he stay with her for six years now, for anything other than…a relationship? Because Paradise Lost lmao; who is she? We don’t know her. It never even made waves in the states at all. And that was FOREVER ago. Josh was never even that big of an actor to really properly “stunt” in my opinion anyway. That seems to be reserved more for the actors who are really on the media’s current radar. The talk of the town lmao.

BUT, that doesn’t mean I’m 100% a fan of them. Because I’m not. Never have been lol. And nor do I really like how they’ve presented their relationship. I’ve definitely seen enough sketchy stuff to make me wrinkle my nose. Which is the drama you were referring to I imagine lol. Claudia using Josh for her career’s benefit, their friends using him for their benefit, yada yada. Idk, once I kind of realized Joshifer wasn’t going to be an immediate thing, and once I kind of stepped away from Josh (which is a whole DIFFERENT story in itself lol), I just…really never jumped into that drama/cared about it at all.

AND, despite talking to a few different people about it, I feel like I never really gathered enough information to really formulate proper opinions on it. AND X2, I kind of realized that hey, these are actual people and we really don’t know what’s going on behind the surface level stuff we’re seeing. We could be 100% right, but we COULD be 100% wrong. So I just kind of stayed out of it, sighed whenever Josh was in Spain or she in the States, and just kind of moved on.

Same thing goes for Jen and Nick. Saying his name makes me shudder, but I think that’s only a self-inflicted gunshot wound lmao; THANKS, TWAAL. I had a lot of issues with him, but I think they were mostly…fandom driven? Like, it was one of those “I don’t like you because you’re interfering with my OTP and because your fandom hates mine” kind of dealios. I really didn’t have any VALID reasons to dislike him at all lmao.

People will say otherwise. I know a lot of Veteran Joshifer Shippers think that relationship was ENTIRELY fake/PR driven too. I can’t say I entirely agree? But again, it’s practically the same thing as my thoughts with Josh and Claudia. I didn’t dive that deep into things regarding that relationship, so I really know nothing, and so I REALLY can’t form a proper opinion.

*Wheeze* SO lol. Where does that leave me now. Well, since things did not go the way I and probably a lot of other people anticipated, I’ve just been…confused? Like yeah, there were things that I DEFINITELY thought were indicative of a possible fling/relationship. But Josh and Jen were with other people…? It seemed so so SO real, but then they moved tf on?

So yeah, I really don’t know what happened at all. I can’t prove anything. Josh and Jen genuinely could have been just friends all throughout promo, hence why they have nothing to tell. Or, they could have genuinely fucked all through promo, and their relationships WERE just indeed PR cover ups at the time. It’s literally impossible to say for certain.

I think if anything did happen though, it’s probably way too soon to tell. Especially with Jen in a rather new and very serious relationship now, and Josh still in the relationship that he was in all throughout promo. I feel like if something did happen, they’d probably open up about it like, a decade or maybe even more down the line. Or who knows, maybe it’ll be their little secret, and our little speculation.

Like, the both of them definitely don’t need anything “cheating scandals” or anything like that running rampant with their current situations. So yeah, if there was something, we likely won’t hear of it for a while, if…ever.

Which Goddddd gets my GOAT lmao. Still bitter to this day. And still can’t fathom what happened between those two. Because I was rooting for them so very hard, anon. I think everyone was at a point. There was just so much RIDICULOUS shipping fuel between them.

And I think for that reason, I’m always going to be rooting for them in one way or another. They’re the equivalency of a “first love” for me lol. Like, I’ll always always remember what I saw between them/have a soft spot for them regardless. And I’ll definitely ALWAYS have fingers crossed for ANY tidbits.

[wonderlustlucas]

a rant no one asked for but you’re getting

recently i’ve been thinking how different things are this year compared to last year. maybe it’s because i was fairly new to kpop & everything was just cheese & sprinkles to me, but honestly a lot has changed in the past year. this time last year nct was my ult group, i had just gotten into got7 & i really only stanned nct, bts, day6, monsta x, & got7 along with a few other groups i wasn’t stanning, just listening to. around this time i didn’t realize how influential & shitty companies could be. the first big event that really shocked me was hyuna & e’dawn getting kicked from cube. & ever since then i feel like every week i’ve heard of something new that a company is doing. when i think about how i first got into nct, i’ve never been so in love with a group. boss was one of the first mvs i watched, obviously that’s where i first saw lucas & immediately fell in love, & then after that the next few months was constantly just an amazing time full of such great content. then i guess when empathy era ended i was kind of just eh, not much going on but i still love these boys so much. but as time went on & i got into exo & stray kids i kind of fell off with nct once i realized how shitty of a company sm is. i thought with the wayv debut i’d be more hyped up but honestly i feel like there’s been nothing but problems with sm & the chinese members that i can’t even enjoy it. & the whole thing with nct dream being a graduating group? it’s honestly just so stupid; obviously i know mark was crazy busy & not being in dream probably took a lot of stress away, but that shit was so sad & i feel like dream will never be the same!!! & if sm keeps adding more & more members... bruh. can’t they try & take care of their current members first? the longer i stan exo the more pissed off i get from how terribly wrong they did them, & honestly i’m starting to get worried sm is going to do the same thing to nct. i feel like they’re so caught up in wanting to make them big they’re forgetting that they’re humans & need to rest & interact with other fucking people & AHHH. maybe i’m just salty that nothing will ever compare to empathy era but i just feel like there’s been so much drama recently. like you’d think sm would learn from exo how to great their chinese members? this whole thing with winwin has been going on since i’ve started stanning, he’s always been pushed to the back, given no lines & no attention yet he’s always so happy. you’d think finally having a chinese subunit would make things better but no, shit has only gotten worse since then. the rest of nct can’t even talk about him anymore? what? is he some sort of outlaw? first he was just kind of dropped out of 127 for wayv, & now the other members have to forget he exists? he really needs to get the hell out of sm, he deserves so much better than the way he’s been treated. i know 127 was on tour, but trying to get ot21 interaction is like trying to pull teeth & i just miss 2018 nct. i felt like there were vlives every day with nct members from one group with another. this is dream’s first comeback for what— a year? 127 has been nonstop for months & i guess nct u just doesn’t exist anymore. i thought wayv was going to give some great content but that didn’t happen, we’ve barely gotten any original songs & i don’t even know what’s happened since take off. it really just sucks because nct truly was my first love yknow? i’ve invested so much time & emotion into getting to know each member but sm has really just ruined it for me, obviously i know jyp has its flaws too but i guess that’s why stray kids has grabbed my attention so much, there’s just constant content outside of promoting & they are such a genuine group. i miss when nct was like that. i feel like sm is trying to make them big but always shut them out at the same time. it’s like they want them to be this flawless group & that’s just not going to happen. maybe when tour is over things will be different but man do i miss the way things used to be.

[jae-ffrey]

🌸 50 Questions Tag 🌸

tagged by this wonderful person, right here 👉@taurusjaehyun 💗 hope you're doing well, dear! loved the new fic btw 🤭💞

What takes up too much of your time? being on my phone

What makes your day better? food especially if im craving something and i get to eat it

What’s the best thing to happen to you today? getting tagged to do this 😂

What fictional place would you like to go to? Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (From Harry Potter) or Wakanda (From Black Panther/MCU)

Are you good at giving advice? I think so, since a lot of my friends irl ask me for advices.

Do you have a mental illness? I used to have anxiety, I still do tbh, but it's a lot worse when I was younger.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? ONCE, AND IT WAS SCARY

What musician inspired you the most? Bruno Mars, BTS, Yeng Constantino

Have you ever fallen in love? Yes

What’s your dream date? Anything related to the night sky and space like, stargazing while on a picnic or going to an observatory

What do others notice about you? im smart yet clingy cuz i give too many hugs apparently 🙃

What’s an annoying habit you have? getting second hand embarrassment on everything everybody does

Do you still talk to your first love?��yes, cuz we're currently together?

How many exes do you have? 1, we lasted for 1 and a half months 😃. He broke up with me, thank god.

How many songs are in your playlist? I have like 200+ songs in my favourites playlist.

What instruments can you play? uhh i can play the recorder? 😂 other than that, none, zero.

What do you have the most pictures of? NCT, mostly jaehyun

Where would you like to go before you die? i actually do not have one in mind, but i guess to Spain?

What’s your Zodiac? Cancer sun (astrology zodiac), Metal Dragon (chinese zodiac)

Do you relate to it? At some points yes, but am not as vulnerable as people think a cancer is.

What is happiness to you? Being with my whole family (btw my brother's now here so yey! we're finally complete after 18 years), Being with my closest friends, Being able to make new friends, Discovering new music/songs, Food that are actually good, and many moreeee

Are you going through anything right now? nothing too big of a deal, I'm just anxious cuz my grades aren't out yet and most of my instructors are out of town.

What’s the worst decision you ever made? i honestly don't know cuz there's a lot 😂

What’s your favourite store? H&M, bershka, Stradivarius, Zara. basically, all stores where i get my clothes from 👌

What’s your opinion on abortion? neutral. as a future nurse, i choose not to have an opinion on it.

Do you keep a bucket list? YES, i have a notebook just for it although i kinda forgot where i kept it ahahahaha

Do you have a favourite album? the BTS Love Yourself albums

What do you want for your birthday? a car even though i still dont have a license

What are most people’s first impressions of you? they mostly think I'm serious cuz i tend to have like a glare type of look (i have poor vision okay?) but tbh im a huge softie idk what they're talking about

What age do you seem according to most people? early 20s

Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on a table beside the headboard of my bed, so like when i lie down it would be above my head, if that makes sense

What word to you say the most? i used to say "b*tch" in most sentences (e.g "b*tchhh, you would NOT believe....) nowadays i do self-censoring and go "bih/bish/bith","gurl/bruh", or "sis". other times i use terms of endearment (sweetie, honey, bby, etc.)

What’s the oldest age you would date? 6 years older than me

What's the youngest age you would date? 1 year, MAX

What job/career do most people say would suit you?  Anything medical related tbh (they're not wrong tho)

What’s your favourite music genre? i really do not have a favorite genre. it really depends on my mood, but i do listen to a lot of pop and R&B

If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? Spain or Canada

What is your current favourite song? Legs by Eric Bellinger (warning: it is explicit, so i dont recommend listening to it if you're not into smutty hoe things 🤧)

How long have you had this blog for? I've had it for about 6 months now 😲

What are you excited for? I'm excited to watch Avengers: Endgame with my bf

Are you a better talker or listener? Listener 👂

What is the last productive thing you did? doing my whole family's laundry 🙃

What do you want for Christmas? i honestly do not know 😂

What class do you get the best grades in? Academic Writing

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a flat 7

What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Working on a patient's case as a Forensic Nurse

When did you get your first heartbreak? when my grandma died

What age do you want to get married? maybe in my 20s. somewhere in your mid-30s, there may be a decline in fertility 🤭 and we wanna, ya know, keep the family bloodline going or whatevuh

What career did you want to have as a child? Nurse, Doctor, Chef yes, all at once

What do you crave right now? Spicy Chicken Ranch Pizza 😋

I'm tagging y'all @sunshine-jaehyun 💕 @seofter 💕 @nctream 💕 @ouryoonoh 💕 @jaehyunay 💕 cuz i wanna know you better! but of course only if you want to 😗💕💗

[lolbtsaus]

(1/14) another long one but I quite like this one, not sure how you feel about it tho! hacker and thief au with jimin. BTS is a crew of thieves who steal anything and everything for anyone who had the funds to hire them. They live a lavish life from the riches they earn off their crimes, indulging in partying, exotic cars and of course Gucci for th. you on the other hand, is a legend within the cyber world as one of the top black hat hackers who also works for hire. So when a kingpin of a

(2/14) syndicate hires both you and BTS for a joint operation, you meet jm for the first time through the cctv footage displayed on your desktop. Meeting at some secretive warehouse, BTS was expecting to be introduced to their employer and co-worker for this assignment, but was however met with a stack of files in an empty room and a huge computer screen. With the use of voice distortion, you briefed the crew on their hit job and monitored from your screen. But what had caught your eye was this    

(3/14) striking young man with silver hair that did not say a single word throughout the whole duration but just continuously and knowingly stared into the cctv camera as if he knew there was someone on the other side watching. tbh it kind of made you uncomfortable but you gotta admit he was cute, I mean it’s not often that you get an assignment with 7 really hot guys. Anyhow, on the day of the mission, you supervise from your den, hacking into security systems and monitoring the surroundings                  

(4/14) while BTS begin to infiltrate and steal the subject. Occasionally you’ll inform them of a bogey through their earpieces and quite often you’ll hear dad jokes (courteously of jin) and video game commentary (who else but jk) from the boys as they move through the building. Tbh they’re quite entertaining and you can’t help but smile a little, by far the best co-workers you’ve had. The boys have retrieved the subject and have all returned to the haven of their cars, except jm & th. th      

(5/14) goes out of sight on your screen and he doesn’t respond to your calling. Your desperately trying to find out whats happened to th and the boys have gone dead silent and nothing can be heard except the sound of your fingers rapidly hitting keys. That is until you hear this grunting from jm’s piece followed by not so pleasant sounds of possibly fractured bones and groaning from a foreign person. and not soon after that, you catch vision of a bloody nosed th and a disgruntled jm dashing out              

(6/14) of the building before joining the boys in their cars and zooming away. You must say, jm took you by surprise, you did not expect that little lump of fluff to have that much spunk, because I mean, last time you peeked *hacked* into their lounge at the top floor of some luxury hotel, you found the mochi curled up in a ball on the sofa playing with jk’s hair as he and th played video games. Basically ya’ll did such a good job that the kingpin decided to get you guys together again for a             

(7/14)another mission, obviously with higher commission because dollar dollar bruh! anyhow, many missions later (commissioned or independant), BTS obviously become curious about your identity and you’ve accumulated enough funds that you have excess for a new apartment. and coincidentally (what a lie), you move into the building adjacent to theirs, where your balcony has a direct view of jm’s balcony. and of course, jm’s caught sight of you a few times sipping on some tea and browsing on a laptop             

(8/14) on a late afternoon and tbh he’s been secretly enjoying the view for a while now. Okay so you guys happen to get another assignment and from the beginning you were a bit angsty for this one because there were just so many inconsistent factors, but you guys decide to go ahead with the plan anyways. So all is going okay until, you hear shots. 3 rounds fired total and your body freezes. The image of jm taking a bullet to the shoulder is fixated on your screen and you’re at a loss for words.             

(9/14) when jm is hoisted out of the building by nj and jin with the rest of the crew scrambling to cover their asses, youre dead silent and focused on solely your job of navigating them to a hospital. At the sound of tyres squealing to a stop, doors slamming close and the gps locator indicating that they’ve arrived at the nearby hospital, you reach out to switch off your entire system. Only after a few days do you find the courage to dial the digits of jm’s cell. A croaky voice picks up and you             

(10/14) freeze for a second. only after the second hello? do you muster up the courage to reply to him and ask in a soft voice how he’s holding up. and tbh he’s shocked, because 1. some random stranger is calling him and knows he’s been shot which probably means they know his identity, 2. this stranger has a really nice voice and 3. - wait hang on, he knows this tone of speech, hang on could this possibly be….? jm’s just like, omg i finally figured out who mastermind behind our missions and oml             

(11/14) it’s a girl, a girl with a really soothing voice and this boy is a bit in love. and jm unconsciously finds himself dialling or texting this number every once in a while when he just needs someone to speak to or after a mission where he’ll brag about his skills like hey did you see the way i shimmied past that laser in the hallway of the museum? and ur just like yeah jm, i saw because i was the one that was monitoring you and making sure your ass doesn’t trigger the alarm. BTS kind of             

(12/14)catch on that their jm is acting a bit strange, often hiding in his room to make phone calls or smiling at his phone. That and the fact that at every assignment briefing, jm seems to be very comfortable with the mysterious hacker. Only one day does jm blurt out your name and everyone is like eh?! and jms just like dude just drop the voice distorter already your voice is beautiful without that stupid thing. and BTS is like EHHH?! and jm is like oh crap that wasn’t meant to come out whoops.

(13/14) but you end up getting rid of the voice distorter and crew is just like holy crap its a girl, and regretting all the stupid shit they’ve said on their missions that you must’ve heard (but we all know yg was secretly regretting that one time he stopped to pet that puppy on the street, completely cooing over it forgetting that he had his ear piece on and that you were sitting on your balcony watching his every move taping the whole thing for future black mail uses). anyhow, one day, you’re                    

(14/14) sitting on your balcony sipping on some tea when you get a text from jm. a lil smile appears on your face and you continue to exchange. But little did you know that jm, who coincidentally happened to be looking out his balcony window, noticed that every time he sent a text to you, the girl in sitting across from him picks up her phone. highly suspicious, he dials and only when you pick up, he opens the door and steps out to his balcony and you guys lock eyes. (I cant write fluff 😅) -🥀     

oh my g o d I love this so much I want all of it rn plz and thnx 

[trashboiiz]

The End of the Honeymoon Phase (James x Reader) TW: Abuse

(A/N: Of course I can’t write anything happy so this is the end result. I know James would never act like this in reality but bruh, it’s a fic. Enjoy~)

You’ve never had a major argument with James. Usually you bicker over what movie to watch or what to eat but nothing actually important. You were still in your honeymoon phase, coming up with dumb nicknames and sneaking kisses whenever you could; it was a seemingly never-ending paradise. But a storm was coming.

For the past few weeks, Cow Chop has been keeping James busy, leaving him with little time for his channel and even less time for you. Because of the late nights, you usually end up hanging out at the warehouse, talking to whoever was still there. You’ve grown accustomed to watching the crew record dumb videos on the couch and their crazy antics. Though at night it’s pretty calm, since everyones tired from hours of filming.

Due to all the time you’ve spent at the warehouse, you’ve ended up becoming quite close with a few of them, especially Aleks. Both of you bonded over your awkward emo phase, laughing about the music you used to listen to and your awful haircuts. Of course you’ve spent more time talking to Asher and Anna since they spend most of their time editing instead of being in videos, but they’ve had to interrupt many of your discussions to continue working on videos. You’re not phased but that though; you connect more to Aleks on a personal level, anyways. He’s a good friend. A friend you’ve talked to about the new problems arising between you and James.

One night you’re at home, waiting for James to come back from an especially long day. He left early that morning to shoot the podcast and has spent the rest of the day filming BTS, gameplays, and editing. You look at the clock and see it’s already midnight. Sighing, you pick up the plate of food left out for James and put it in the fridge for when he comes back. You expected him to be home by now since he still had to record for his own channel; you guess it’ll be another late night for him.

His erratic schedule has started to worry you, not just because of the stress it puts on him, but because of the change in his mood. Small things have begun to annoy him, like your unconscious tapping on the steering wheel and when you forget to turn off the lights. You know it’s probably due to anxiety, but the consistent complains have begun to wear you down. Even with your own problems and issues to deal with you still try to help James. You get it, he has his own big channel and another one that he’s expected to put effort into, but it would be nice if he put effort into your relationship.

Your phone buzzes and you see Aleks’ name on the screen. You turn on the kettle to make some tea while you open his message.

James back yet?

You sigh, Not yet. Did he leave the office?

Yea, not so long ago

The kettle begins to whistle so you get up from the couch and pour the hot water into a mug. You take your tea back to the couch and plop down, seeing another text from Aleks.

You doing ok?

I’m fine, just getting a bit strained, ya know?

I keep trying to tell that idiot to go home earlier but he says he has to finish all his editing. I even tried to con Trevor into doing all his work but James cares too much for that boy.

I think everyone cares too much for Trevor, you chuckle

True. I’ll keep trying to calm him down and such. I guess you know how stressed he’s been.

Yeah…

You can talk to me if it gets to be too much. I’m both of your friends and I’m a master at fixing problems.

Sure you are ‘Aleks that sets everything on fire’ Marchant

Just because I’m a pyro doesn’t mean I can’t make people happy. Anyways, I’m driving home now. Let me know if you need anything Y/N.

Get home safe Aleks, talk to you later.

As you put down your phone you hear a car door slam and heavy footsteps reach the front door. The door swings open, revealing a disheveled and tired James. He drops his bag on the ground and heads straight for the kitchen, searching for food.

“Hi Y/N! Oh hi James! Nice to see you after such a long day!” You say sarcastically.

James only grunts and grabs the plate of food you prepared from the fridge. Sitting down at the kitchen table he shoves the food into his mouth while scrolling through twitter on his phone. You pick up your tea and walk over to him, putting your free hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off.

“Is everything okay James? You seem upset”.

“I’m fine” James snaps, quickly glaring at you before going back to twitter.

“You don’t seem fine” you say, sitting down across from him.

“God fucking dammit, Y/N. Are you going to turn this into a big thing? I’m fine.” His voice beginning to rise and the smell of alcohol wafting from his lips.

You’re taken aback. Why was James drinking, especially so late at night and when he had to drive home. Was he angry at you? You couldn’t remember if you said or did anything to make him mad, so you assumed it was just stress.

“Do you want me to do anything?” You ask, trying to diffuse the situation.

James slams his first on the table, scaring you.

“Stop fucking nagging me, Y/N. Try focusing on your life instead of mine for once!”

Although his mood was beginning to frighten you, it was also pissing you off. You could feel yourself becoming hot with anger, distracting you from your fear.

“What the fuck James? I know you’re stressed, I’m just trying to help out!” you snap.

“Maybe that’s what I don’t need, your goddamn help. Maybe I need less of you Y/N” James stands up, seething with rage, “All you do is complain about how busy I am and yell at me about how much work I’m doing”.

“I don’t yell at you!” You shout back, “and you’re the one that complains while I try to help you!”

“I complain? You text Aleks all the time whining about me,” Your mouth drops open, “you think I don’t know? I’m not a fucking idiot. ”

“I just vent to him sometimes!” You say, frustrated, “James I think you should just get some rest and sober up”.

“I’m not drunk! I’m as rational as I’ve ever been!” He throws his hands up in anger, “I’m pissed because I know you want to fuck Aleks”.

You have no idea where this is coming from; this accusation was completely out of the blue. How could James accuse you of wanting to cheat on him, with his best friend of all things. That thought has never even crossed your mind. James was all you wanted and needed, no one else could take his place.

“I-I…” You stammer.

“I bet that’s been your plan all along,” James walks over to you and sticks his finger in your face, “I bet you’ve been using me to get to Aleks. God knows how fucking lonely he is and you knew you could scoop him right up.”

Those words cut you deep. Your boyfriend, your best friend. Why…how could he think that?

“James I would never!” tears begin to stream down your face.

“Bullshit!” Enraged, James slaps the mug out of your hand, causing it to shatter on the floor, “You’re just like everyone else! Using me to get to know other people!”

You’ve never seen James so angry and you’re pretty sure no one else has either. You want to diffuse the situation but you have no idea what to do; you’re mind is spinning as fast as your heart is beating.  You flee to the couch, trying to distance yourself from the furious man that you couldn’t believe was your boyfriend.

“I’d never James,” you hiccup, “James I love you”

“Sure you do, Y/N. You probably fantasize about Aleks saying that to you. How it’d feel to have his lips against yours, holding your waist while slipping his tongue into his mouth. Not before long he’d have your clothes off and his cock up your-”

“James!” You interrupt, “Stop! He’s a friend! He’s just a friend! He’s never come on to me, James. He wouldn’t do that to you.”

Your tears turn into sobs that wrack your whole body.

“I’m so sick and tired of all these lies” James growls.

He storms over to you and grabs your wrists.

“You’re scaring me” you cry, “James, you’re hurting me”.

“You’re hurting me, Y/N, with all your lies and going behind my back.”

“James you’re drunk”

“I’m not!” He screams, causing you to fall backwards onto the couch.

You scramble to get up and rush to the door, James hot on your heels.

“Come back here!” He shouts as you run to your car.

You’re muted by your sobs and blinded by your tears. You speed out of the driveway, leaving James yelling in the distance. This was a first you’ve never wanted to experience. You’re limits have been reached with how much you could tolerate James. He’s been angry before but never like this; you didn’t even know he was capable of such anger, such fury. You replay the events in your head over and over until you reach a house with its lights on even though it’s past 1am. You quickly park your car and run up to the door, knocking furiously in the hopes you’re heard. The door swings open and a confused blonde man greets you.

“Y/N? What are you doing? Why are you here?”

You swing your arms around his neck and sob into his chest.

“Al-Aleks,” You choke out between breaths.

Aleks hurries you into his house and places a blanket on you as you sit on his couch. Sitting next to you, he places his arms around you, letting your tears stain his shirt. Neither of you speak for almost an hour, Aleks caressing you hair and rubbing your back as you let all your emotions pour out. He hums to calm you down, the vibrations soothe your beating heart. Soon you drift off into, you troubles and worries an issue for tomorrow.

[k-p-p-d]

[EXCLUSIVE] A Year in Reverse: An Insight into the Beautiful Minds behind K.P.P.D

By: Admins Tia ( @kpopbrowniefics​ ), CL ( @smutfictionaddicted​ ), and Kia ( @pocinamedia​ )

KPopPantyDrop.

A name which promises sinful and sensual experiences galore.

But also a name which evokes feelings of inclusion, support, love, tenderness, loyalty, care, humor, sassiness, and pride.

The blog has been a staple to many kpop fans of color and other marginalized who aren’t always represented in the mainstream avenues fans use to connect with each other.  What started as a spur of the moment decision has turned into, in some regards, a growing empire that centers around one very simple yet often difficult principle to adhere to:  Diversity.

In a rare moment of vulnerability and candidness, we spoke with the beautiful admins who graciously opened up to us for this exclusive interview.

Tia: First off, ladies, thank you so much for allowing us to interview you.  It’s rare we get a chance to have such meaningful conversations with all of you.

Soul: No, thank you for even agreeing to interview us!  We’re each huge fans of the three of you so really this is quite an honor.

CL: Flattery will get you everywhere with me! [laughs]  How about we get started with an easy question.  What is the meaning of your nicknames?

Winter: I’m a loser that likes Game of Thrones and ‘Winter is Cumming’ is pretty iconic...in my completely unbiased opinion.  Also wintertime can be soft flurries or can be a killer snowstorm, like me.

Syn: It’s apart of my first name. You are going to have to ask Lily why its “Syn” because I’m an angel. 

Lily:  It’s the inversion of the first half of my second middle name and I just really love lilies.  And Syn, your name is Syn because all you drop is sin in the group chat.

Rosa: Well I just recently changed my name; it’s because I’m known as the ‘English rose’ of the blog, though I don’t really know why... But I didn’t want Rose, so I chose to go Spanish with it and picked Rosa instead.

Soul: The nickname comes from the anime, Soul Eater (promo, go watch it). Uh, I always felt like I could relate to it in a way so that's why it's my nickname.

Blossom: I love flowers very very much, but my favorite of them all is the cherry blossom and that’s where i got it, pretty basic. [giggles cutely] 

Kiwi: I have no idea. I really don't, you're gonna have to ask the admins about this. I’d assume I'm sweet, but that'd be just a straight up lie. ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ 

Winter: Issa lie.

CL: What got you into kpop? When was it? What was the first kpop song you heard?

Kiwi: Well I had a glimpse of it when I was younger...I don’t remember how. Then last year (my Freshmen year of high school), a friend of mine brought it up and I remembered the faces of who I saw when I was younger (it was BTS btw if you wanted to know the first group, the it was Beast my friend showed me). That’s how I got back into it and decided to catch up on it.

Blossom: The first Kpop song heard was Ringa Linga by Taeyang or Hello Bitches by CL (i don’t remember) about a year and some months ago; after that I kinda just drowned in the life and that’s about it.

Soul: For me, this happened in two separate years. The first one was when I was in 7th grade(so 2012-2013). I saw a reaction video to SNSD’s Gee. I grew to like them but I never got into anyone else before I stopped listening entirely. Then fast forward to late 2015 or so, my best friend got me into Big Bang and I found BTS and Got7 on my own and the rest is history!

Rosa: Okay so I’ve told this story before, but my first K-anything was watching Gong Yoo in Coffee Prince when I was 13 or so and I fell in love with the man. I got into kpop though, when I was looking through youtube, and it recommended SNSD’s “Gee” to me, when it was just released in 2009. I clicked it out of sheer curiosity, but I loved it so much.. And boom! I fell into the kpop hole.

Lily: I fucked up and watched Try Guys Take KCONLA. Eugene Lee Yang is my non-monogamous life partner, as Winter would say, so when I saw how excited he was over showing the guys and their viewers some of his favorite things about Korean culture and media--I laughed my ass off when he LITERALLY kicked Ned in the chest to demonstrate some common elements of kdrama fight scenes--I just had to watch it.  So that was October 2015.  The first song I willingly listened to (I don’t really count me hearing “Gangnam Style” and “Fantastic Baby” back in 2012 since those 2 songs were played on the radio nonstop) was Big Bang’s iconic anthem “Bang Bang Bang.”  All it took was one electric fart and my ass was actual trash. That song and the rest of MADE series is probably why I’m such YG trash.

Winter: I honestly and truly don’t know when I got into kpop.  My friends where I lived before moving back south who were Asian would add songs to my playlists that they thought I would like.  So I’ve been listening to Kpop, Mandopop, Jpop, Jrock and Krock for nearly a decade; but I didn’t start paying attention to fandoms and learning members until a few years back.  It’s funny because when I realized kpop was starting to take over my playlists, I sent a message in our Facebook group asking them why no one ever told me I like kpop.  They then reminded me I’m slow and they told me years ago.

Syn: I got into Kpop out of sheer procrastination. It was fall of 2014, and a lot was going on with my college classes, I hated my major, I was hold on to some family issues and my mental health was deteriorating. I was in a very dark place and I just needed an outlet. So I went on youtube and one video recommendation lead to another and I found out about Eric Nam’s “Ooh Ooh”. He was doing an interview and I thought he was goofy and cute and had to find more music of his. That lead me to ASC and ultimately the world of kpop. I remember distinctly that I was watching a BTS episode for “No More Dreams” and seeing them interact with each other and the fans and smiling, goofing off; that episode made me simile for the first time in a long time. I would like to say kpop helped me get through that year and gave me motivation to finish what I started and just to get better overall.

CL: If you had to chose only one book, one song, one food and one movie, what would you pick? Just one of each!

Rosa: 

Book: Oh Lord, I read a lot.. Erm, I’m gonna say The Vampire Diaries books, because I’m currently reading them again for the 100th time. And I’m not tired of them. 

Song: Nah, I can’t choose.. I have many different favourites, from different genres. It’s impossible to pick one. 

Food: Hot wings (i mean the dry, crispy ones) or Spag bol or Fried dumplings. 

Movie: White Chicks. I’ve watched this film many, many times that I can quote pretty much every single line. But still I’m dying of laughter every time I watch it.

Lily: 

Book: Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky.  I love the story and I haven’t finished reading it all the way through yet so it’d keep me entertained for a while.  

Song: I know this is really...depressing, I guess, but it’d have to be Mozart’s last Requiem, specifically “Lacrymosa.” I just love it SO much.

Food: Lasagna. It’s my love language.  

Movie: Skyfall.  As Winter can attest, I am a massive Bond aficionado (I’ve seen all 24 films and one of my goals in life is to drive or at the very least ride in a 1964 Aston Martin db6, my dream car honestly) and this to me is everything that a Bond film should be. I could watch it for weeks on end and never be tired of it.

Kiwi:

Book: Wake by Lisa McMann.

Song: “Clairvoyant” by MISOGI.

Food: Hot pot. 

Movie: Coraline.

Winter:

Book: The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova; I’ve read it a few times now and I’m enthralled every time.  

Song: Impossible, I couldn’t survive with just one song.  That would be torture. 

Food: Chicken and rice, maybe?  Yeah, that’s always good.  Or cheesy eggs and rice.  YUM!  

Movie: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  NO!  Cleopatra, mainly because it’s long as hell and I can break it up and watch it by sections when I need a distraction.

Syn:

Book: The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to leisurely read and expand my book collection but anything by Alice Walker is a classic and they way she writes is amazing. 

Song: “Reflection” by Lea Salonga. Now truthfully I can’t choose, and if anyone asks me this question again it would change. But I love this song oh so much. It’s depressing af but it speaks the truth and it spoke to me growing up. 

Food: My mom’s seafood gumbo. Just everything.

Movie: Disney’s Mulan. That was the first disney female character I could connected with. Like every movie I’ve seen before that was like ‘damsel in distress, prince come save me, I’m a princess but my life would be better with a man’. Mulan said, ‘EFF DAT BRUH.’ She said, ‘Eff marriage! Yeah I know I’m different. I’m gunna go into the army so my Father won’t have to. I’m just as good--if not BETTER--than these guys, killed the enemy, the bish SAVED China, the Emperor gave her props, AND STILL GOT THE HOT GUY AT THE END!! Just sayin….. Mulan the GOAT.

Soul:

Book: Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson. 

Song: “Still Breathing” by Allison Iraheta. 

Food: Pizza.  

Movie: The original Halloween; I can watch it over and over.

Blossom:

Book: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak 

Song: Any piano cover. I  love piano covers. 

Food: Chicken wraps. 

Movie: Howl’s Moving Castle cause I’ve only seen it once and it would take me awhile to get tired of it.

Kia: Based on who your Ultimate Bias is, what would be the ultimate first date?

Rosa: Hm.. This one's hard cause I have so many possible answers. But I’d say either me and JB would go to a concert.. Like one of those chill throwback r&b concerts, where a bunch of artists get together and perform their songs. Or we’d go to a theme park, ride a bunch of coasters and he’d win me a huge stuffed animal. Either one would be followed by, food.. Lots. Of. Food. We’d bring it to a open space somewhere, with blankets, lights, drinks, music.. just laugh, eat, dance and chill.

Syn: I have like categories of who my UB’s are and usually it’s person I fell in love with out of the group. When i think about it they all have one thing in common and is that they are silly, goofy, outgoing and fun. So I would love to go on a like carnival/state fair type of date. Play games, win prizes, ride rides (except roller coasters I don’t eff with those) , share junk food and just basically let our inner child run free. Cliche, but I would love it.

Winter: It depends since my Ultimate changes with the breeze.  But I think a good first date would involve meeting, getting dinner/drinks/coffee and then just walking around and talking.

Soul: I have too many ults to truly answer this question, it changes up too much so it really depends on the specific person I'm into at the time.

Kiwi: I really don't know I don't think about this. I guess just a date with nature involved? Like maybe hiking???

Lily: Honestly, I’m horrible at these kinds of questions since I have far too many interests in general. And it certainly doesn’t help that Lay has just as many in common. So I think we’d have to keep it simple in order to truly enjoy each other’s company and really experience the other… I guess the best way to do it would be maybe a cooking class or we both cook dinner for each other together. Can hardly go wrong with great food and even better company.

Blossom: I feel like Yongguk is the type to take you out to a romantic dinner for a first date. Just imagining it is making my cheeks heat up! So cute!

CL: I actually have a follow-up for that! If your bias asked you out on a date, and asked you to bring friends for the other members of his group, who would you pick?

Winter: All the girls of legal age from our blog and sister blogs.  [turns towards Soul, Blossom, & Kiwi] Sorry !

Syn: [nods head] What Winter Said. All my biases are at least 21 or older soooooo yeah, sorry y’all.

Lily: Well I’d bring all the girls! Duh!

Soul: All the admins; but if I had to pick one, it'd be Blossom of course.

Blossom: [hugs Soul tight] MY TWIN SOUL!

Kiwi: I'm just gonna bring all the girls so they don't fight me on why I didn't choose them.

Rosa: I’d bring all the girls. [turns to the rest] There’s 5 boys to choose from so yous can scramble over ‘em.

Lily: Kiwi, Rosa, and I are Switzerland it seems. [laughs]

Kia: So let’s say you were strolling down the streets of Seoul just being your fabulous selves.  Or New York or Los Angeles... I don’t know. ANYWAY. If you were ever scouted for KPOP, would you go into training?

Winter: [pulls out megaphone] HELL NO! 

Syn: Can I borrow this? [reaches over to grab megaphone] HELLZ TO DA NAW!! As much as I would love to wear the amazing wardrobe and to be able to perform I couldn’t handle everything that comes with it. The extreme criticism, the little to none creative freedom, barely seeing my family, the sasaengs, the blatant racism. Naw, they can keep that. I’m good.  

Lily: I’ve been performing nearly all my life (whether it was band/orchestra, choir/show choir, plays/musicals).  Actually, college (except freshman year) was the first time I wasn’t on a stage.  So I’d say yes since I really do miss performing and I have such a passion for music. Granted, I know I’d face a shit ton of backlash and go through so much shit (discrimination, racism, you name it) but I think it really would all be worth it just to be on stage again. (Man, I’m such a sappy mess.)  Plus it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I’d forever kick myself if I didn’t do it.

Soul: Uh, I have mixed emotions on this. Personally, I think I'd say no simply because I'm not talented in that department. Buuut, I'd do it for the experience. There’d be so much racism and discrimination I'd endure but I think I could get through it.

Blossom: First of all I get home sick really really fast, second, I get angry pretty fast too and if i had to go through just 10% of what some idols had to deal with i would be burning my company to ashes and punching everyone in the face

Kiwi: [in her best Simon Cowell voice] It’s a no for me.

Rosa: I would, to be frank. I’d miss my family... Like a lot. But I can’t help but think of all the amazing experiences I would get, I would be able to learn Korean easier as well. Plus I would love to be on the stage.

Kia: Okay, well let’s say you worked for a company as a manager.  If you could be the manager of any girl/boy group or KHH artist who would it be and why?

Winter: For girl groups, I want to manage Stellar or EXID probably.  I feel like they could do so much more if they were handled properly.  There are so many boy groups, but I would definitely want to manage HotShot, Cross Gene or Ukiss.  They have so much talent but it’s not being shown as well as it could be.

Soul: For me, it'd instantly go to Oh My Girl or EXID as well. Both groups have such underlying talent that's too overlooked in the industry. They're both equally amazing in their own ways and I think I could make people see that.

Rosa: Boy Group? Hmmm... There’s two. First is Got7. Surprised? I didn’t think so. It would be so cool and fun to chill with them, discuss music with them, dance with them. I would literally do an album that was all smooth r&b tracks, that I know the boys have been screaming to do since forever. I would show all the foreheads, and allow them to actually let loose and do their thing with music/choreo. Literally their deepest musical desires, I’d help them fulfill.  The second is Block B. Because I love them so much as well, I’d help them get all the recognition. Like you would never know. I’d up the exposure to 10,000, the whole world would know.

Blossom: TOPP DOGG! I would treat them right and let them finally go and blow people away with all their talent. They deserve BETTER. For KHH... NADA! She’s freaking amazing and beautiful and her flow is so good.

Lily:  Hmm… For boy group, it’d definitely be--yep, you guessed it--MadTown.  I think it’d be really fun to co-manage with their current manager Kevin because he’s just an adorable ball of fluff who really loves them and, of course, they’re my boys so I’d work my ass off to get them every opportunity possible to let each of them and/or all of them shine.  For girl groups, it’d either be BlackPink or Red Velvet.  I’m such a sucker for them and I’d constantly be hyping them up like the stage mom I know myself to be.  For KHH, it’s hands down Jessi.  The staff at her company--except for a select few, most notably her current manager who she adores--are so shitty and she honestly deserves better so you can bet I’d get her on every show I could that would allow her to fully express herself as an artist and person.

Syn: For one I wouldn’t manage any boy group just because I couldn’t deal with the crazy amount of fan girls that would be surrounding/following them. Love them but naw I’m good. For girl groups I would love BlackPink just because they seem like fun and energetic girls but also sweet and respectful. For KHH, anyone from AOMG because they are all foolish and I know there wouldn’t be a boring day managing them.

Kia: One last question from me and I hope you have your thinking caps on because it’s kind of hard.

Lily: Oh my stress.

Kia: Hush. Anyway. Say you were the head coordinator for the MAMAs what would be your performance line up. And what we award would you add? Take away?

Syn: [laughs] Dang this is a hard one.  Mainly because I’ve only watched  two full MAMA’s and clips of another one. I would love more collab stages of the artists/groups that are on the same level. Like rookies with rookies, vets with vets and that such. OH! I would love a BTS & EXO collab stage just because the fanwars are getting too ridiculous and I want everyone to share the love. I would add more KHH awards and also more awards for artists from other countries. Like it is called Mnet ASIAN Music Awards, why are they only focused on acts from Korea? Also get rid of the Netizen Popularity Award. Like we don’t need more drama than it already is.

Winter: Open with a rookie collab stage, close with the veteran artist that promoted that year.  In with the future and show proper respect to the elders, yanno.  I would bring back Best Mixed Performance so KARD has that locked down and--like Syn--get rid of the Netizen Popularity Award because that is just some bull that fuels fandom wars.

Lily: Hmmm… I’d also open with a massive rookie collab stage.  But like a super dramatic one to really make an impact and let folks know this ain’t ya ordinary MAMA’s (think 2013 and 2015 MAMAs on steroids).  I’d have different underdog groups perform between the different award presentations/awards clusters to show off their talents.  As we go through the night, I’d have the bigger groups perform and work my way up to the veteran artists.  For the final stage, I’d think it’d be really badass to have a collab stage with all senior-most veteran artists to collab together for a stage.  Oh! I’d also love to do collab stages with artists of the same companies (groups from smaller companies would get mixed in with the groups from bigger ones). I would get rid of Netizen awards as well because let’s be real they’re kinda pointless and cause so much unnecessary drama.  Like our focus should be on the music, not some pointless drama.

Rosa: I haven’t got a clue lol. I just wanna see a whole bunch of collabs, including rookie collabs. I want Got7 to actually have a proper stage to themselves for once, instead of performing like one song. [rolls eyes] I also want to see some of the veterans of kpop perform on their own, or even collabing with newer groups/artists. Netizen awards can burn.

Kia: So Netizen awards are officially canceled?

All: And deleted. [all laugh]

Tia: Oh man, I’m so glad I didn’t have to answer that! [laughs] You guys are such incredible writers but you are also relatively avid readers. What overused prompt for fanfiction is secretly your favorite? Jaebum is your brothers best friend, Grew up with S. Coups etc…

Winter: I think my favorite overused prompt is you bump into each other in public and you just have to have one another.  Whether it be the club, a store or coffee shop.  I just think it’s so ridiculous but hilarious.

Rosa: Well actually, I don’t read a lot of fanfiction, so i don’t see many overused prompts. [giggles] But ‘brothers best friend’ is one that I have seen more than once, yet I love it.

Soul: My favorite prompt would be childhood best friends. I don't know, there's something about the bond of people that grew up together that I can get behind. It's really cliche but I love it anyways.

Blossom: I like when they growing up up together and they gradually fall in love with each other, it’s so cute.

Kiwi: The best friends and they’re both oblivious, but everyone else knows they like each other. Some of the situations are just pure ignorance and it's great.

CL: If you guys had to pick your favorite fanfic writers, who’d make it to your list at the moment?

Syn: Too many to choose from but our sister blogs are my go-to’s.

Winter: You three of course! As well as @chanyeolspout​ and all the admins here.  I don’t usually find and stick with one writer but I do with these ladies.  I also don’t read any Reader x Idol stories if they didn’t write them.

Lily: Winter hit the nail on the head here! I also really love what Iris of @jeonjagiya​ creates (her Hoseok series “Transference” is INCREDIBLE) and I have a huge soft spot for Lu of @tayegirecs​ and Kara of @seokvie because they were two of the first fanfic writers I actively followed when I got into kpop.  Off of Tumblr, it’d be seitsemannen (AO3); her GOT7 work “Playhouse” is a MASTERPIECE.

Soul: I agree with Winter as well. I haven't really had time to branch out on my own yet haha.

Blossom: I agree with Winter, all our admins and the lovely sister blogs!

Kiwi: Tayegi, @pjimims and the rest are what Winter said.

Rosa: I don’t really read fanfiction so I don’t really know...  But I gotta say, tayegi with her "Equilibrium” series is great. Also, @please-baby-calm-down is good too; I love "Three’s a Crowd.” I need to catch up on both of these though! As you can see i love poly fics. [giggles]

CL: So let’s talk more about the blog.  What motivated you to start this blog in the first place? Where does the name KPPD comes from?

Kiwi: It all started in the group chat we all joined. A couple of late nights later we had the idea and inspiration to make a blog together. I don't know the real inspiration though. I’d say we were all hyping each other up.

Winter: Good question!  I don’t know...I wasn’t expecting this to be this big or go this far honestly.  Like, we’ve been doing this for a year and have all these followers, an Instagram account and a merch store?  BANANAS!

Soul: The motivation really just came from the group chat we were in. Everyone was on board to start a blog and it had such a good meaning behind it and I loved what everyone was bringing to the table.

Lily: I think it was Winter that came up with our blog name.  We were just tossing out random titles and she said and no one could top it.

Blossom: Retweet Soul and I honestly don’t remember who came up with the blog name but I’m guessing Lily is probably right--she has a good memory.

Rosa: I didn’t want to join the blog at first, because I thought wtf I can’t write anything, so what am I gonna do on this blog? But I’m kinda glad I did. Nobody remembers [chuckles], but I actually came up with the name for the blog: We were spitballing names in the chat, and I put forward some stupid joke names, but then I said Kpop Panty Drop and everyone was cool with it. So that’s what we went with.

Lily: Please let the record show my memory has failed me and I shall never again speak without receipts.

Winter: I never thought this day would come...Lily, silent? A miracle. [snickers]

Tia: You each have different styles of writing but if you had to pick a niche of writing that you specialize in what would it be? Thriller? Fantasy? Romance? Suspense?

Winter: I think my niche is that I have no niche.  As long as I’m interested in the genre I can write for it.  I originally thought I would just be a smut writer and nothing more.  But being able to challenge myself with other styles and succeed at them, in my unbiased opinion of course, is pretty awesome.

Rosa: I don’t really know.. I think I would love to do them all tbf. I haven’t written any fantasy yet though, but I would like to try!

Lily:  I am more drawn to suspense and thrillers but I haven’t had a chance really to write those genres yet as much as I would like.  I will say that I do enjoy writing drama though not necessarily romance and sometimes angst. I think for me romance comes secondary in a lot of my longer plots unless it’s smut in which a lot of times that romance has to be or have been established in those characters’ relationships.  I tend to throw little sprinkles of fantasy in my writings here and there so I think it’s about damn time I actually write a fantasy story.

Soul: For me, I think its mix of everything. If I feel like it goes with how I'm feeling, then I'll write about it. However, there's usually romance and suspense in there.

Blossom: Lately i’ve been trying to write a little bit of everything! But no matter what there’s usually some type of romance, what can i say. I love love!

Kiwi: I really don’t know. I haven’t written in so long, but from past writings I think it would be suspense.

CL: Does anyone in your personal life know that you run this blog and/or write fanfic? If so, are they supportive? Did you tell them the contents of the blog or no?

Winter: My mom knows lmao.  She actually read my SsamD smut, it was super awkward but she hasn’t read anything since.  Since she’s my boss it kinda works that she knows about the blog because I’ll say I need time to work on something because I actually have inspiration and she knows how I am.  My long distance bestie/sometimes friends with benefits knows.  He helped me with Stalemate actually.

Syn: Nope! I mean they don’t even understand my kmusic obsession, they are not going to understand this blog. Plus most of my family is like super religious so if they were to find out I work on a blog called “KpopPANTYDROP” I would be shamed… *cue the Game of Thrones reference scene*

Lily: Nope. It’s not that I’m ashamed of the blog (I mean my family and friends have walked past me while I’ve been writing and adjusting things on the blog) but it’s just never come up in conversation and I’m the type of person that if you don’t ask me something, I won’t answer it because I won’t know to answer it.  Plus my family and friends already know that I listen to all kinds of music so they never once batted an eye when they heard me listening to kpop because my tastes are just that eclectic.

Rosa: Nah nobody knows. My brother has read smuts on the blog but he doesn’t know I’ve written them or whatever. I’m cool with them not knowing too. I’m a very secretive person, and I keep myself to myself anyway so yeah.

Soul: This girl from school knew. All the admins know what I'm talking about lol. And my best friend knows, they were super supportive. I told my best friend what's on the blog, the other girl knew already.

Blossom: Yes, a lot of people know I have them blog with the other admins but they don’t know the content loll. Only like 2 people know the content and they are very supportive!

Kiwi: My mom knows I run a blog, but she doesn’t know what type of blog and I'm gonna keep it that way. Other than that my two close friends know about the blog.

Tia: Okay, now to get a little bit more serious.  When it comes to writing what's your weakness? What do you think you can't do or needs improvement?

Lily: I get too caught up in the details which, ironically, really muddles up the images I’m trying to portray.  I also get really hung up on technical things which can also impede the voice, flow, color of the story.  There’s been so many times where I will write and rewrite a particular sentence just to get it right that by the time I’ve finished editing, I’ve lost a lot of motivation to finish writing for that day.  I just have to step back and remind myself not to get in my way and by extension the characters’ way.

Rosa: Okay, I have a ton of weaknesses when it comes to writing.. So I’m gonna be lame and say everything is my weakness. I tend to waffle a bunch as well sometimes, and my fics make no sense.

Soul: It's all me. I think I'm my biggest weakness because I don't really like my writing all that much. Compared to the other admins, it's shit haha. I know I can be better at what I do, I just need the confidence to push myself.

Blossom: Self doubt, I worry a lot that my writing just isn’t good enough for the blog sometimes and that my spot as an admin is undeserved. Which is my why it takes me so long to write my fics and they’re so short. I put a lot of effort into my works but there's still lots of room for improvement. I want to be best of the best and I’m nowhere near close to that.

Kiwi: I can’t do shit. I’ll write, reread what I wrote, think it's not good enough, delete it, then take a long break. That's my process. I need to improve everything. (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

Winter: My weakness is me.  I honestly think my writing is shit, which I’m not supposed to say but I’ve always been my harshest critic and biggest anti-fan.  Whatever I do it can always be better, I can do better.

Lily: For the record, I would just like tell all of you that you’re wrong and I will happily continue to aggressively compliment you until you believe it and in yourselves. That is all.

Kia: I second Lily.

CL: I third.

Tia: I fourth.

CL: Okay, back to the tough questions: As poc, what is your biggest challenge in the kpop fandom?

Rosa: Pretty much people telling me I shouldn’t like this person or that group or whatever, because of this drama and that drama.. Let me, do me. I’m an adult, I can look at things, and make a logical decision for myself. Don’t tell me what to do. Also, people telling me “I’ve let black people down, I’m a disgrace to my race.” No. I love Korean culture as in the foods and music, but I’m not out here bleaching my skin or denying my blackness so please tell me how I’m letting poc down? Plus if I were to cut off everything that offended me--colour wise, gender wise, religion wise--I would have to live on Mars, because it’s everywhere.

Winter: My biggest challenge is also people telling me to be angry.  I hate it and think about leaving the blog at least twice a month when I see/read a “Why would you support this/them?  Why aren’t you angry right now?”  I have a LOT of anger in me from everyday stresses and I can’t afford a therapist to work through it.  Music is my therapy, so I don’t go into it looking for things to be angry about.  If that was the case I wouldn’t be able to listen to any music that was made...damn near ever.  Appropriation, racism, colorism, sexism, all the -ism’s and just blatant stupidity is rampant EVERYWHERE.  I’m not going to argue about someone when if something offends me I can simply, turn it off and listen to something else.  My motto is one of RuPaul’s quotes: “If they don’t pay your bills, pay those bitxhes no mind."

Syn: Everything Winter said. Plus people that tell me I shouldn’t be listening to them because they take from black music. Like if you are so called “woke” then you would know almost every popular genre of music out there have was taken from Black people. Like so you don’t want me to listen to music at all?

Soul: we’re always looked at as problematic when an idol blatantly takes our culture and we shut they asses down. Sheer ignorance and it seems like your opinions don't matter.

Blossom: 1. People always look down on us 2. The colorism and ignorance 3. The unneeded drama

Kiwi: Being represented the correct way. Pure ignorance. They want the culture but not the lifestyle. Blackface (this isn't just kpop this is in general).

CL: You guys have endured a lot within this past year, most notably several plagiarism scandals. Have the plagiarism episodes changed you in any way? What would you like to say to people who do this?

Soul: It's made me more cautious. I haven't put out anything but it's given me a slight fear to do so. To the people who do it, have fun because y'all gon steal from the wrong one and y'all gon end up in court or jail. And originality is a thing, get some of it, it's free.

Lily: It has made us more...guarded I guess you could say. We’re all more hyper vigilant in monitoring activity on and off the blog. It still really--pardon my language-- fucking hurts and it’s incredibly disheartening to see your works stolen. For every 100 words written, there’s at least upwards of 3 hours spent writing and perfecting them. So a story--even a drabble--takes at least a day and in many cases several months to complete. But in a matter of seconds, all your hard work and effort you spent crafting this piece into something that you are actually happy enough with to publish is practically ripped from your hands and it’s really a slap in the face and a kick in the gut. I really wanted to stop writing altogether after each theft because I didn’t want to feel that pain and anger anymore but I kept on-- I keep on because it’s something that I love and I’ll be damned if I give anyone the satisfaction of breaking me.

Blossom: It just made me pay a bit more attention to things, look out more. To the people that do it...just do better hun! Take your time and your own ideas and inspiration will come to you! Remember the process of writing take a lot of time and don’t be surprised or act stupid when and original author and their followers comes for you.

Rosa: Nah, it hasn’t changed me much. I just think I care less now. To the people who do it, I just want to say that karma is gonna get them one day.

Winter: I’m more...meh now.

Kiwi: Karma is gonna have a great time in your next life ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Syn: What I would say to them? Hmmm..... Fuck you.

CL: I don’t know if I told you, but it was because of your answer to one of my anon question in your confessionary that I had the courage to write my Fat Fiction Series. You guys make such a positive influence on countless people (especially for marginalized groups) and I’m living proof. How do you guys deal with this amazing task? Do you have similar stories like mine (with you and/or followers)? And do you guys have your own personal struggles, like body or health issues, sexuality, etc and do they contribute in any way to your work in KPPD?

Blossom: Well cheese puffs… I didn’t know that and i never really thought of us having an influence on people. To me it’s usually just us saying how we feel and expressing our opinions on things people come and ask/tell us.  We’re all young and still growing into ourselves. I struggle with my emotions and expressing them properly, anxiety, i have back problems, like the list goes on and on lol but i know no matter what it’ll be okay! I used to not be able to look at myself in the mirror and now all i see is beauty, i used to hide and not speak about my sexuality but now i really don’t care, I used to cry myself to sleep every. Night. Now my smiles are real and i have an amazing happiness surrounding me. I 100% think my personal issues and such influence my writings and contributions to the blog, many of my ideas are from real life events or things that reminded me of someone or something in my life.

Soul: I've always struggled with my sexuality. I've never know what I truly was or what I liked so I don't put a label on myself anymore. I was so afraid that no one would accept me for who I was and it truly got to me when I came out to my mom, I didn't hear what I thought I would. It wasn't that she didn't accept it but she didn't believe me. I'm over it now honestly. I never thought about our influence on people. I didn't think we were that kinda blog

Kiwi: I just don't like myself at all. Not the amazing story you were looking for unfortunately. As Lily likes to say, “Practice what you preach.” Never happens in my life, just my writing.

Rosa: I mean I don’t think I’ve had any part in creating positive influences on people. But I’m glad the blog and other admins are able to do it. I have many issues, many... It’s impossible to list. I’m not about to start a pity party, but I’ve always hated the way I look, and always hated my weight. Ever since I was younger and I can’t escape it, no matter how many people tell me I’m not fat or whatever, it’s just something I’ve accepted so yeah. Health issues? Ugh where do I start? I always joke and say hospital is my second home, but it’s the truth. I am always in hospital for something or another and don’t get me started on mental health. As for sexuality, that’s the only thing I’ve never had any problems with.. Erm...in regards to writing, I haven’t put any of my issues into any writings I’ve done. Just because I don’t really want to, ‘cause I wouldn’t know how to write it and I want to keep my stuff separate from the blog.

Winter: I never struggled with my sexuality per se, I just never gave a damn.  And I have some health issues now that I, I don't want to say battle because my struggles aren't even that bad just inconvenient.  But I still struggle with body issues.  I've always been big. I've been 5’10” since third grade and that was hard to move to a new school and just be this random tall kid from the South.  Then I got a few injuries and wasn't able to be as active so I started gaining weight when I learned to cook.  I've never been too comfy in my own skin, so when we have someone come in and say they struggle with it I get it.  But even though I struggle myself, I hate to see someone feel less than.  I'm always told I need to practice what I preach, maybe one day. 

Lily: First off Rosa, that’s a lie: You have contributed so much and influenced so many people in so many ways just by being unapologetically you.  I think that goes for all of us, but for you especially.  Okay now that’s off my chest... this is going to be really long but...

I think my biggest aim since day one has been to just make everyone who I’ve come into contact with--followers, mutuals, and admins alike--feel that they have an ally that’s always with them no matter what it is they may be going through.  We each endure so much on a daily basis from any number of struggles and issues we may have in our lives and our individual struggles are just as valid as someone else’s. 

Honestly, I’m the type of person who can endure the worst of the worst so long as it means I’m able to put on a brave face and be strong for someone else.  I know it’s not the best thing for me to push my feelings down, but it’s just something I’ve done all my life.  When I’m in a solid mindset and I’m alone, I unpack everything and process it then.  I like to handle my struggles privately because I often feel that they’re not as important as others’ may be.  Yes, I know that sounds really hypocritical and it is to an extent; but I do open up to the girls about things after I’ve processed my emotions and understand where I was in that moment versus where I am in this one.  I think the first time I fully opened up to them was back in May and it was specifically about some very hurtful things people I had once truly cared for and loved had said about and toward me.   It took me even more by surprise than them because I had done it so freely and without second thought and without any filtering. I just laid it all bare without any expectations of reciprocation or condemnation and really it was just so… The love and care they showed me in that moment is something I will be grateful for forever.

There’s a story--actually, there’s two stories I’m working on right now that haven’t been published that are very close to my heart because they’re the first time I’ll really be allowing some of the darker corners of myself be seen through the lenses of these characters.

Tia: If I may, I just really want to thank you guys for opening up about your struggles. It’s not an easy thing to do, but so many others--such as ourselves--have taken inspiration from your strength. You all have such beautiful spirits.

All: Thank you!

CL: I hate to ruin such a sweet moment with a little filth buuuuuuuut that’s what I’m here for! Writing smut can be fun, exciting and steamy, but how do you feel when the public only goes for the nasty? You guys voiced your discontempt with smut being the biggest (many times the only) expectation of the public before, did it get any better after the hiatus?

Winter: I am a pervert.  You can ask the other admins, 69% of the things I say is sexual or I’m laughing at something my brain made dirty.  That being said, I don’t really like writing smut anymore.  Well, it’s not that I don’t like it.  I just have zero confidence in it.  I’m a kinky person in society’s eyes but I never knew my kinks were kinks until the admins pointed it out to me.  So, I’m scared I guess that I’ll write something that goes too far.  I never want to make someone feel uncomfortable or triggered.  That being said I’m trying to accept that there are people out there like me who are searching for stories with kinks like ours.  Not the same old spank me, bite me, pull my hair.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Soul: I think at the time, it was harder for me to deal with because I can't live up to expectations. It was draining and annoying but I love the way I write now and some people actually appreciate what we do.

Rosa: Um, to be honest, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care. I don’t care what people want any more. [shrugs] Sorry but it’s true. I think I has improved after the hiatus, because I posted ‘Rivalry’ thinking it wouldn’t go anywhere because it didn’t have any smut in it, but almost 600 notes later (I still don’t know why it has so many notes) I guess I was proven wrong?

Blossom: Because it’s a really good story, Rosa! But yeah. January 1st when we opened our requests we prolly got the most fluff and angst requests we’ve ever had, i think people understand a bit better that we’re not just smut writers, we do everything and each admin has their own specialty.

Kiwi: I understand, but at the same time I actually am not a big fan of smut without a plot. I have my limits meaning I don't mind it, but sometimes enough is enough. The admins are not some smut generator. I’m glad people are beginning to realize that and actually ask for other genres or ask for smut that has an actual plot.

Lily:  As frustrating and annoying as it was (and sometimes is), I get it.  We advertised ourselves as a sin bin for the longest time. I mean just look at our blog’s name.  We just made the mistake of truly believing in our hearts that all our followers wanted from us is smut (which yanno is fun to write sometimes but not all the time) so we put all our other fic projects to the side and just focused on churning out filth, but our hearts weren’t in it so it was just really draining and created such unnecessary tension between us (former admins included) that shouldn’t have been there.  But now I can say that things are a lot better between us which really reflects on the blog.  We’re closer than ever though because of all we went through so that’s been a blessing.

CL: To all admins who worked on “Seoul Nights”: This is one of my personal favorite fanfictions ever and one of the first works I’ve read in KPPD. What do you guys feel about it? And as a fan, I need to ask: can we hope to read more from this universe in the future?

Winter: I feel like Seoul Nights is a hidden gem in the Kpop AU world.  People see it and think, oh yeah another mafia AU great.  In fact Lily and I spent WEEKS developing each character's personalities and quirks.  We plotted them out down to the knives hidden under their designer suit jackets (as well as which designers they wear), even their hair color is a decision discussed between us.  But it barely gets any attention and that’s kind of disheartening but at the same time I don’t care because I am so invested in each character's plotline and making sure they get a proper introduction and the story is as fluid as possible. You will read so much more about this universe in the time to come.  You’re still in the introduction phase for this universe.  I don’t want to give away what’s going to happen but I will tell you this.  *leans closer*  Seoul Nights connects with multiple stories on the blog, some have already been published and some are coming this summer.  But this universe is vast and the rabbit hole goes deep.

Lily: There’s really nothing more I can add to this except... [crouches down to show off fake Timbs and claps] FACTS.  It is our precious baby and while we would love for it to get more attention, we’re really grateful for those who have faithfully read the series and are keeping up with it.  Plus, I don’t think there’s really anyone who is more excited for this universe than either of us as well as the other admins who are also contributing to it.  So yeah. I would definitely encourage you to read the series again and again because when things really get rolling, well…

Kia: So what you’re saying is you’re about to kill us?

Winter: Maybe, maybe not~ You’ll just have to see.

Kia: I hate you.

Winter: You don’t but it’s fine. Because I know something you don’t know~

CL: I’m just going to go ahead and write up my will. Just in case.

Winter: Wise choice. [chuckles]

Tia:  I actually have some questions for each of the admins individually. Who would like to go first?

All: We volunteer Lily as tribute.

Lily: Y’all suck.

Syn: Only for Papi. [winks]

Kia: Nassy!

Tia: Y’all are a mess! [laughs] So Lily, you are self-confessed trash for Zhang Yixing--

Lily: AN ANGEL AMONG MEN, WHOM WE DO NOT DESERVE!!!

Tia: --so I’d love to get your take on a couple things.   Do you think that SM’s unfair treatment of Lay will ultimately cause a disruption in the group? On the off chance that SM decides that EXO can do without Lay how will you react?

Lily: I didn’t realize I was presenting my dissertation today. Oh, heavens, I’m so unprepared! [pushes glasses up nose and pulls out notecard while clearing her throat] Actually, I don’t think SM has treated Lay unfairly recently.  Yes, it was incredibly disheartening to see that we wouldn’t have a full EXO comeback but instead EXO-XSBCCDKS (talk about a subunit name!), but we have to look at the facts:  SM allowed Lay to create his own satellite studio in China; no other artist prior to him had been able to do that.  SM also allowed him to self-compose and release a Station track in Chinese; it became the first (and so far only) Chinese solo station song and it broke several streaming records in China. Finally, SM allowed him to release his first mini album which he self-composed, arranged, and wrote as well as helped to produce in Chinese.  The album shattered countless records in China, such as number of albums (physical and digital copies) sold and streaming records, almost daily just about.  He single-handedly saved EXO’s reputation in China and became one of China’s golden sons with his appearance on the hit variety show “Go Fighting!” and through his roles in several TV dramas and films.  He even got to co-host two of the largest festival broadcasts in the nation!  I mean he isn’t called the Prince of Changsha for nothing, you know.  Everything that he’s done over the past few years has been done with EXO’s benefit as well as his own benefit in mind.  He has the most autonomy out of all the members because he wields so much power in China, which is a massive market, so he chooses and finalizes his schedules accordingly.  Given both the recent ban on Korean anything just about in China as well as his high visibility, he undoubtedly decided it would be best if he stepped back from EXO promotions so they wouldn’t receive backlash from C-netz.  Business stuff aside, there is SO much love between him and the members and he mentions them wherever and whenever he can.  And what’s more is they mention him just as often (they even left a spot for him in the music video!).  So all this to say: No, I do not think it will cause a disruption.  I’ll continue to be the loyal XingMi/X’back that I am and support him wherever his career takes him.  And I will still continue to support EXO because I love the other members as much as I do him.

Tia: Hmm, those are some very interesting points.  Rosa, JB is your ultimate bias but with the problematic things he has done before (as most idols) has it changed the way you looked at him? Hands down what the best JB fic you've EVER read?

Rosa: JB is a problem in himself lol.. But honestly? It hasn’t. People have told me it because i’m infatuated with him, that’s why I can’t see his faults, but that’s stupid. I’m not infatuated with anyone, and believe me, I’m the first to call out and be pissed at JB for him doing his stupidity. I’m just able to forgive (not forget) and move on, because well i’ve been riding with him since day 1 and i’m not gonna cut him off like that.  Hmm, I don’t have an answer for this lol.. I mean I’ve only ever read like 2JB fics in my life, cause i’m hard to please and i get bored or turned off really easily. So I haven’t read one that has hooked me enough to say it’s the best one I’ve ever read.. Feel free to send me some though.

Tia: I’ll definitely be on the look out for some for you! Syn,  Jay can be soft and cute but he's also very daddy. Do you think he switches it up or do you think that soft side is really him? The outfit sets you create are gorgeous, how do you find the inspiration to create something new for each idol? 

Syn: Thank you oh so much!! I appreciate the love I really do! Truthfully, it’s all about the picture of the idol and from the picture my imagination goes wild. Once I find a picture I like, I study it and ask myself a million and one questions. I also like to be situational, like what setting is the picture in? what is going on in the background? What are the colors? How are they lighting the idol? After I figure out that I come up with a story in my head base the outfit off that story or based on the colors in the picture. As for putting what with what I can’t tell you because I don’t know myself lol I just go and hope it looks good.  In regards to Papi-- I mean Jay: I personally think both the daddy and soft sides are him. I think his soft side is him is like 85% of the time. As for his daddy side, I think only comes out when he is on stage; and in a more personal setting, someone has to bring is out of him (if you know what I’m saying..)

Tia: You meant Papi, but I’ll let it slide.  [laughs] So Blossom, Youngjae is a tender sunshine, how do you think he is in a relationship?  Would he have a hard time communicating his needs to his partner? What is your relationship communication like? Are you a straight hitter? Passive? Somewhere in between?

Blossom: I think he would be gentle but protective. No, i feel like he would be very open and express his feeling for certain things, but i also think he would hind things to try to keep you happy. I think the communication would be good for the most part, i’m definitely somewhere between straight hitter and passive, i can be very stubborn sometimes but i try to let things go if it seems to be affecting others or if it’s just someone i trust and care very much about i usually just passive.

Tia: Youngjae is such a cutie and you two would be such a cute couple! But your twin, as you call her, is equally whipped for the maknae of his group. So Soul: Yugyeom has shown us that his dance moves are truly sinful, but do his dance moves really correlate to bedroom prowess? How would you handle a man who is a virgin? First time sex wise.

Soul: Ah, this is my unpopular opinion but nah, I don't think it necessarily correlates. You can be the best dancer on the planet and still be hella inexperienced. Since I'm a virgin myself, I think it'd be a learning experience for the both of us. I think it'd be easier to take it slow knowing that you're doing it at your own pace and not trying to impress anyone.

Tia: Soul dropping some soulful wisdom! But I definitely agree it’s important to do what feels natural and best in the moment.  Kiwi, you’re the youngest of the admins so it’s only fitting I ask you a couple things about your ultimate who’s also the maknae of his group.

Winter: And noona hunter!

Tia: Jungkook, the golden maknae. Do you really think he lives up.to that name or is he overhyped? BTS choreo or vocals, you can only choose one. Which is it?

Kiwi: Warning unpopular opinion: I think it's overhyped, but then I see him nail something on his first try and kind of go “good for him.” Still overhyped though. And I choose choreo for sure.

Tia: You’re such a straight shooter and I love it!  Now, last but not least, to perhaps the most sharp shooting admin there is: Winter.  Heechul is known to have a saucy attitude and a smart mouth. In reality could you see yourself being in a stable and loving relationship with him? What's a little fact about Heechul that makes you like him so much?

Winter: In reality I can’t see myself in a stable relationship ever, seriously.  It’s gonna be twisted no matter who I’m with, but I’m okay with that.  It’ll keep things interesting.  Heechul and I would have a long and loving open relationship, if he would agree with the open relationship.  The fact that Heechul is so comfortable in his skin and doesn’t care if people thinks he’s gay because he’s so secure in his sexuality.  That’s admirable and attractive to me.  Also, I like that even though he’s a sassy flirt he gets all shy and his heart flutters when he’s around someone he likes.  

CL: I have some individual questions for you all as well!  I’ll go in the reverse order Tia did, if that’s alright by you.

Winter: Oh Jisoos, I’m first.

CL: Yes, you are! 1) Where do you like to find inspiration in? 2) What do you think you have in common with Heechul? 3) What is the best 2pm era in your opinion? 4) Describe yourself: reason, emotion or both and why?

Winter: 

I find inspiration everywhere the Cosmos allows.  Books, movies, music, dreams, pictures, nature...just everything.  I can be sitting there and see or hear something and all of a sudden, this is where I start to sound crazy but oh well, I hear dialogue between characters or I see an idol doing something in a different world or scene.  It’s frustrating because I’ll think of this awesome new story but then I can’t write it because of time constraints.  

Kim Heechul is my equal in petty, shady, tea spilling savagery as well as being a genderbending flirt.  

The best 2PM era?  Jisoos….GALAXY OF 2PM.  Their Japanese release last year.  BABY LOOK!  BITXH!  The hair, ugh.  The suits, lawd help me.  The overcoats, unnnnnnhhhhh.  EMOTIONS PHOTOBOOK!  I wanna know WHO THE FXXK HURT THEM TO HAVE THEM LOOK SO BROKEN!  

I am ruled by emotion and reason.  Most of the time I’m very levelheaded and I think things through.  I’ll try and see things from all sides because I can’t stand when people take in new information and they let their emotions take over.  But if I think on something or talk about something and emotions run high.  There is no reasoning with me until I calm down and hopefully I don’t hurt anyone or anything before I calm down.

CL: So Kiwi: 1) What does writing means to you in your life? 2) Jungkook: a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll? 3) BTS’ best concept for you? 4) Describe yourself: introvert, extrovert or a mix of both? 

Kiwi: 

Believe it or not, I'm not actually a big fan of writing myself. But when I actually feel creative I will write. So I guess it's not that big in my life. 

Sinnamon roll. 

“Run,” hands down. Had a hoe in her feels for once. 

Mix of both. I'm “extroverted” if I personally know you, but I lean more towards introvert.

CL: Soul on to you! 1) What is your work that you’re most proud of? 2) What do you think is Yugyeom’s strongest feature (not necessarily his talent)? 3) GOT7’s music video you think Yugyeom is particularly beautiful? 4) Is there something you always wanted to try or do but couldn’t?

Soul:  

“Only Fools Fall,” hands down. That was the best thing I've written since the blog started. I think it shows what emotion does to people. 

His eyes. He's such an attractive person overall but his eyes are what drew me in. 

That's a hard question, but maybe Never Ever or If You Do. 

Besides running a blog, I've always wanted to try and write a book. I can't really do it right now because I have no inspiration to do so. It's already hard for me to write on the blog without it feeling forced but yeah, that's what I wanna try.

CL: Blossom, you ready? 1) Do you have a favorite place to write? 2) Did you chose Youngjae as your bias or did he chose you? 3)  Favorite GOT7 meme? 4) What do you think is your biggest strength?

Blossom: 

I like writing in the library, i usually get a good bit done when I have the time. 

HE CHOSE ME! When I first got into Got7, I never would have thought Youngjae would be my bias cause I kinda had a type at the time but after getting to know him and falling in love with his smile, his laugh, just his everything there was no way of turning back. 

I don’t really have one since they’re all just walking memes.

Positivity is definitely it.

CL: Syn, let’s chat fashion: 1) You create such beautiful outfit sets and I personally drool over them. What is your personal dressing style? 2) As a fellow stan, I know this will be hard, but… Why Jay Park? 3) Favorite Jay’s album and favorite collab he’s made? 4) What do you think is your biggest flaw?

Syn: Thank You!!! I’m oh so happy you like them! 

My personal style is depending situational. Where I’m going, how long am I going to be there, how I feel and depending on the weather. But usually I like to have a focal point or statement piece of my outfit and then everything else I put on will complement the piece. So not too flashy but not too simple either. I like everything to be clean and there for a reason.

Lawd! Girl! Why NOT Jay Park?? Lol but for real, he is just everything I love in a person. Like take they fact that his music is the bomb diggity and he is fine af. Personally, he is so kind, so generous, so caring, artistic, a goofy sense of humor, and amazing friend, son, and person in general. I love the fact that whenever he comes up he brings everyone with him. He always give credit where credit is due, and is always there to help out someone or give them a chance. I don’t know why more people aren’t stanning him.

I say I do love all his albums but my absolute favorite would be “Everything You Wanted”. I know that’s one of his newer albums and people are going to say “You ain’t a real jaywalker blah blah blah” but seriously if you think about it, all his albums leading up to that one has all been experimental. Take a deeper look, New Breed, Evolution and even World Wide has been experimental and trying to find his sound. With Everything You Wanted, he takes a bits and pieces from each album and figured out what worked and what didn’t and we had everything that worked in that album. The sexy songs, the slow jams, the meaningful songs, the bops, the electronic sounds, both in Korean AND English. Like it really was legit everything I wanted lol. That’s why I love the album. Favorite collab is a hard one just because he slays everyone song he’s on. But I would have to say his songs with ChaCha, “Feature” and “Forever” just because I wasn’t ready for singing ChaCha and I do think their voices work well together.

Biggest flaw would have to be, I don’t believe in myself as much as I should. And because of that I’ve held myself back on some opportunities that would’ve been beneficial in my life and I would be further along in the things I would love to do if I would just say “hey I know I’m good enough”. Example A: this blog lol I didn’t believe I could being anything substantial here that’s why I wasn’t on here in the beginning. So yeah something I need to work on.    

CL: So Rosa, our lovely English rose: 1) What is your biggest difficulty when writing? 2) Why is JB your bias and what is the thing you like most about him? 3) What is your favorite GOT7 song? 4) What is your biggest dream, even if it seems impossible?

Rosa: 

My biggest difficulty is finishing things that I’ve started because I either have no motivation most of the time or I just don’t have time to. 

JB is my bias because I can relate to him: We are pretty much the same person it’s scary. We have a lot of things in common, plus he’s beautiful. The thing I like most is that he can be very serious, but the next minute he’s being extra and playful.

Oh Lord… I can’t. I don’t have one favourite so here are my favourites; “Stop Stop It,” “Sign,” “Prove It,” “Angel,” “Laugh Laugh Laugh,” “Magnetic,” “WOLO,” “Let Me,” “My Home,” “Eyes On,” “Shopping Mall,” and “A” 

My biggest dream is to be able to set my family up, so there are no money worries and then to travel. 

CL: And lastly is you Lilith! 1) When did you start writing? 2) Times are hard for a Yixing stan… Honestly, how are you coping? 3) Your favorite EXO lyrics? And Lay’s lyrics? 4) If you could change anything in yourself or in your past, would you? If so, what would be it? 

Lily: 

I honestly don’t remember when I started writing, but I think I was pretty young--maybe around 7 or so.

I’m actually coping pretty well.  He’s been active a lot more recently in China and he seems to be very happy and well-rested, which really is all I want for him to be.  So as long as he’s good, I’m good.

Um, my favorite EXO lyrics are actually an entire song:  “My Answer.”  It’s just such a gorgeous song! I know it backwards and forwards and I have to listen (and sing along) to it at least three times a week.  The admins know that it has to be played at my wedding. It just has to.  My favorite part is the bridge/breakdown before the final chorus.  Gives me chills EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Honestly, if I were to audition for a company, I’d sing this song.  Ugh, I just love it so much. 

My favorite of Lay’s lyrics? Again, my favorite lyrics are a whole song.  While this one is a tough call, it’s decidedly the acoustic version of “MYM.”  There’s really no way to describe it other than just stunning.  I think it’s the song that best suits his voice, which really just shines since it shows just how well-rounded it is.  And the guitar! C’mon! It should be illegal for a guitar to be played that beautifully.  If you haven’t listened to the song, please don’t ever speak to me again until you do.

You know...There’s a lot in my life that has happened that didn’t go according to plan or anywhere near the plan honestly.  And while I’ve made many mistakes and have been hurt by (as well as hurt) others, everything that has happened, has happened for a reason.  I am who I am today because of it.  So no, there’s nothing I would change. I live my life with no regrets as best I can so I just take whatever comes to me as a lesson and an opportunity to grow.

CL: One final question before you all go to celebrate your anniversary. What is the best thing(s) about running this blog? And the worst?

Blossom: Best: Seeing people's reactions to the things we do. Worst: Drama.

Kiwi: I can barely answer this because I’m never on. But I do enjoy when the admins get happy in the group chat because they're getting compliments on their writing. I hate when drama happens because everyone seems off and upset in the group chat. Becomes a dangerous ride.

Rosa: Best thing about running the blog is reading people’s reactions and comments about something I’ve written. It’s really cool, and I encourage anyone who reads fanfiction to not only like and reblog but leave comments and tags for the writers to read! Worst thing is obviously people saying mean, horrible things in the inbox.

Winter: Best thing is being able to inspire and interact with people from ALL over the globe.  To see and find out we have followers in Germany, Australia, Brazil...WHAT?!?  We’re just a bunch of weirdos and you guys actually WANT to follow us?  I don’t get it lol.  Worst thing is trolls coming at the admins, they act like I’m not a troll hunting anon slayer.  Why would you even try?  I don’t even see why people feel the need to say negative things to people they don’t even know.  That takes time and energy I don’t have to spare.

Syn: Well I can’t say much sense I just started being active but from my observation I love seeing all the love everyone gets when they post their content. Like all the admin’s styles are different and seeing each one of them getting a like or a repost or getting messages from the readers is amazing and it warms my heart seeing that. The worst has to be what happened behind the scenes with that fallout. It sadden me seeing what was going on and basically being helpless and seeing a negative effect it had on the other admins. But we’re better now!!

Soul: The best thing would be to inspire others to start their own blogs, it's nice to know that we're a big influence in that. The worst would have to be all the drama and stress us admins have to go through on what seems like a daily basis.

Lily: I’m such a sappy heaux, but the best thing about running it is being with the girls.  The love I have for them is so deep, it’s actually kind of ridiculous. A close second though is meeting such incredible people like our mutuals; like it’s kind of insane that I’m now able to call the very same people I admired my friends and talk with them nearly everyday.  The worst is definitely all the drama that’s happened on and off the blog.  I could definitely do without it. But a little bad always comes with a lotta good. C’est la vie.

Tia: Thank you all again so much for letting us chat with you!  You inspire so many people on a daily basis and it’s really rewarding and humbling to be able to be as close as we are to you.  I hope you all have a wonderful anniversary and even more wonderful times ahead!

All: Thank you all! We love you!

[softredvelvet]

100 Questions You Have Never Been Asked Before

l1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH THE CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? Closed, a lil bit open for my cat. My orange cat named Garfield. Who once actually ate lasagna. 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? I was about to say I have never  slept in an hotel, but I did in Germany! And nah. I wasn’t interested in it.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? I tuck them in, then I move around alot while I sleep and wake up with them tucked out and I leave them tucked out. Guess that is where my energy goes to..moving in my sleep. I actually tuck them in to be a little bit neat, but I prefer them out when I sleep.

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? Nope, how the fuck do people get them out of the pole?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? It’s funny, but I never use them cause it doesnt help anyway.

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? I dont use coupons. I give them to my mom. She is addicted.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? I mean....they say that if you play dead, that the bear will go away so...

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? None. I think.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? Not always. I often put on the ‘bitchy-eyebrow’ + slight smirk or no smirk. And sometimes I do smile (sometimes together with the bitchy eyebrow’)

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? I have a few but I have forgotten them....

Oh remembered two! When people are arrogant. And manipulative people. Ugh.

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? No.....but I did skip some steps on sidewalks. Like only walking on the black stones, just because I can. Only when I am bored or stressed tho.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? Yeahhhhh, first time when I was like 4 or 5 years old. What an experience. 

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? Nooooo, bruh I cant even poop anywhere but at home. Or when someone really isnt around. I cant even really poop when my parents are around. So uncomfortable

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? Lol bitch too often! It makes up for a nice mood and you know you need to lose energy, and dancing!! It’s dancing! Dancing is fun!

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? Used to do it everytime I had one in my hands, however I stopped. People started associating it with unhygiene and childishness, and I listened lol.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

:)

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? Just one person, but two can fit in! I tested that! And it helps that I am skinny. 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Hmmmmmm...... I think Not Today by BTS! I have been in the mood for some confident energetic songs.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? Ofcourse. And it actually looks good! 

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? Hm Ghibli movies (hm it is anime tho). Avatar the Last Airbender. That is kind of it. I dont watch lots of movies anymore or series tho.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? I have saw so many movies that I did not like, I really just cannot remember.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?Why would I tell? What if someone finds out where I hid my possibly owned by me treasure? I see what you are trying to do.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? Water! Sometimes tea. But specially water, because I forcing myself to drink more water. Water is good for you!

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? When I used to eat meat I dipped my chicken nugget in sweet-and-sour sauce

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Pizza, seafood, bami. All very different but sooooooooooo goooood!

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? Serendipity,The Illusionist, Inception, Midnight In Paris, Now You See Me series.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? I shall not speak of him since he is not worthy.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? Never, such a myth for me. What is that scout thing that kids do? What?

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? I mean...I would strip in private to my future bae ;) Dont think this is what the question meant, but always include the details ha

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? 1-2 years ago? To my grandfather.

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? I dont even drive nor really know how it can be changed.....oops. My family loves to do that shit

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? I dont drive. And I cant predict whether it will happen lol

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? Nope

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? Don’t eat sandwiches. I often just eat bread with butter or hagelslag (Dutch).

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? Pancakes, or scrambled eggs....I am hungry.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? Midnight - 2 AM. I am trying to change......

37. ARE YOU LAZY? Not really, just unenergetic and unmotivated. I should be more hardworking.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? Never participated in halloween. 

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? The Tiger....rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. No srsly, the tiger is one of my favorite animals so I was so happy to have it as my Chinese sign. 

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? My mother tongue is Portuguese, I speak Dutch as a second language and now even better than my mother tongue, I speak English almost fluently, speak some Spanish/French/German (school level). I do understand almost everything in Spanish obviously. I can also read Russian....I was bored so yea. I am pretty good with languages. Would be awesome to know how to speak more languages. 

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? Nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? Legos because I dont know what Lincoln Logs are.

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? I was stubborn in not being stubborn. Aka yes I am stubborn and at first I denied it, but know I have realized it....plus most people saying it is an evidence.

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? I dont watch either, and I dont really care lol

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? Portuguese soap operas used to be my life until I moved away when I was 9 years old. Then I never really watched it again.

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? YES! yes, but I am trying to beat it bit by bit....by putting myself near heights :))))))

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? Yes when I am with people I feel comfortable with. But I am sure that when I get more energy and less social stress, that I will sing no matter who I am with. It is supposed to be fun!

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Sometimes. I usually just daydream. And die thinking about the thought of getting out in the cold outside of the shower.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? Fuck yea! Doesnt help that I get car sick, but you know,....fuck yea!

50. EVER USED A GUN? Water guns yes!! Oh and I also had one very middle age old gun at my house in Portugal. Didnt work, but it was funny to hold it and pretend I was a pirate who actually rescued people.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? When I was 6 years old or something like that. A typical Dutch photograph with clomps from Volendam. First time in The Netherlands on vacation.

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? Mua, not all of them. Dont really watch musicals tho.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? Apparently. People around stress so fucking hard, it is sad and hilarious at the same time.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? A what? Had to google it. Polish dumplings.....would love to try it! And no meat I have just read. Interesting.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? Raspberries...I think it were raspberries. So fucking good. Orange is also good. Appleeee! That is yummy. 

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? Lawyer, a writer or a teacher. Or a singer/dancer/rapper! Hahahaha!

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? Nope, but I do believe in demons. Is that something?

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? Too many times. Dont know if I like it or dislike it.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? No, but I should really start taking it. Specially D and B12... I bought them but I forget to take it everytime.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? Noooooo. Bare feet in the house! Or socks.

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? Nah, only when I am cold.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? A different pyjama every 1-2 weeks.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? The Script. With my ex-best friend hahahahah. ‘Bestfriend’. 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? I live in  a non-English country, so I have never been to these

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? Nikes, I guess. Never wore Adidas so cant judge.

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? No idea, dont eat them. 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? No really either, but sunflower seeds I guess.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope, are they French or something. Why is this being asked hmmmm

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? Yeahhh! Streetdance! Years ago tho, lost my moves a bit. They are still there somewhere tho. I miss dancing

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? Don’t really care

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yeaaas... ;)

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

Don’t have those

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

Nope lol

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? Nope

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? Nope

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? Nope

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes!

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? Red Velvet and BTS.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? I saw BTS concert online

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? Hot Hot Hot

81. TEA OR COFFEE? Tea Tea Tea!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? Noneeeeeeee

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? Very well very well. A swimming champion from England said I was naturally gifted lol..

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? Yes! Are there people who can’t??

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? HAHAHAH...no.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? DJ

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? A multiply contest. Multiplying man.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? Nope.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? Neither

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? Nope

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? Living Room! Or my bedroom, but it has to be a big room.

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? Yes!

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? N/A

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? There were a few lol. When I didn’t crush on them anymore, I suddenly got confident in talking to them nice.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? Never.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope and don’t want them.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? Nope.....I could go for adoption tho!

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Black!!!! And purple. And I guess blue too.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? Not anymore. I am free :)

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS NEXT?

@4hyyh @kittaee @rvelvts @softyeri @wendyismyfavouritederp @jinsasleep @2awake

[omanu]

i have a few tags to do, so im gonna do them all in one post so i dont keep tagging the same ppl in multiple things idk. dont worry, you dont need to do them if u dont want to ♥

i was tagged by @nashira , the angel ♥

¤ nickname: well, irl is manu, but tbh my name is manu. i have another nickname my family uses, that is budi lol

¤ zodiac sign: sagittarius 

¤ height: the best scenario here is 167cm, idk how much that is in ft or whatever lmao

¤ orientation: ….. like everyone 

¤ favourite fruit: cantaloupe 

¤ favourite season: winter and fall

¤ favourite book: i dont think i have one, but like, the last book i read was fucking amazing everyone should read, it’s gay, it’s a series of three books, and it’s called when women were warriors.

¤ favourite flower: all of them? i love flowers in general

¤ favourite scent: RAIN, and ngl the scent of matches 

¤ favourite animal: dogs and cats

¤ favourite colour: light colors and also black and blue

¤ coffee, tea or hot cocoa: hot cocoa

¤ average sleep hours: well now i sleep a lot i would say 8-12 

¤ cat or dogs: BOTH

¤ n° of blankets: just one

¤ dream trip: ANY GOOD BEACH

¤ blog created: idr well, but 2015? or maybe late 2014. but ive been on tumblr since 2009/2010 lol

¤ favourite song: ……..dude idk rn is any song of bts, but on my last fm it’s probably a song by adam, the love of my life. and i love too many songs so i cant just write them all

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. Real answers only. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must give different answers. You cannot use the same word twice. Once you enter your answers, tag 10 other people! i was tagged by @superunknwn​ , another angel ♥

Your name: Manu

A four letter word: mole *looks at nashira and sara* A boy’s name: … Manu An occupation: Musician Something you can wear: mittens  A place: McDonald's  A reason for being late: … idk … Moving? Medical matter? idk i used two words but they both begin with the letter m lol Something you shout: mYLES A movie title: Moana Something you drink: Martini An animal: Monkey A type of car: Mercedes  Song title: Ma City by bts lol i was just singing this

i was tagged by @bensun​ a looooong time ago sorry, but i too love doing these so why not. this one is similar to the first tag game, but im doing it anyway

Answer the questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better! —————– Name: Manu

Nicknames: budi. i want new nicknames tbh, cute ones.

Zodiac Sign: sagittarius

Height: 167cm 

Orientation: same, i like all genders but the s*x part is……. uh, idrl

Ethnicity: native brazilian (indigenous) (wow i just saw this on the internet and im using it), mixed with whi*te some time in the past. i would know better if whi*es hadnt done that

Favorite Fruit: Probably blueberries or just berries in general and I loooove smoothies …. with any fruit to be honest

Favorite Season: Fall and winter

Favorite Book: to mention another one im reading the third book of the vampire chronicles, i love the second one, i love lestat

Favorite Flowers: yeah i like flowers, but idrn their names, i just love it

Favorite Color: light colors, but also black and blue again

Favorite Animal: dogs and cats

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

Average Sleep Hours: 8-12 ay

Cat or Dog Person: BOTh

Favorite Fictional Character: MIDNIGHTER

Number of Blankets I sleep with: just one

Ideal trip: beach!!

Blog Created: 2015 ig 

dear @superunknwn​ tagged me on this a looooooooooooooong ass time ago, sorry ily (actually she didnt tagged me but i wanted to do this so i just saved on my drafts) 
Rules: 
1. go to this site: https://www.random.org/lists/ 2. Pick 15 of your favorite characters or favorite people from your fandoms and list them 3. Tag at least 5 people 4. Have fun with it! 
— 
1. Mom/dad: Apollo!!!!!!!!!! yes!!!!! 2. Your sibling: jim halpert lmaoo thats fine 3. Your grandma/grandpa:  michael jackson 4. Haunts you: park seo joon 5. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: adam lambert (ok…. i would prefer jhope but ok) 6. Your ex: taystee hdsfkhfdksjh 7. Your best friend: MIDNIGHTER 8. Proposed to you: MYLES KENNEDY DHJKSHFDF 9. Your boss: slash….. thats not ideal but glad that i know him 10. The random person you met at the bar: lestat fdkslsd friend 11. Your rival: seo in guk NOOOOO he is my bf wtf 12. Gave you your first kiss: rothen skljkld 13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: lzzy hale my love 14. Played 7 minutes in heaven with:  JHOPE DFHKFSDJKSFHKJSD 15. Gave you your favorite dessert: chris traeger, my favorite dessert is not raisins

tbh im not gonna tag ppl anymore, ive already tagged everybody, yall just can do it

@lionesslindsey tagged me on this a looong time ago too, no surprise

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (but that’s so many D: I’m too awkward for so many) (relatable lmao) Tagging: everyone i tagged on this long ass post Whoever wants to do this though, go ahead!

1. coke or pepsi: i dont drink soda heh 2. disney or dreamworks: I love them both, but my absolute fav movie is The Lion King. lindsey i just copied ur answer bc BITCH ME TOO, just addin Mulan here 3. coffee or tea: i dont like coffee and i never really wanted to try tea lmao 4. books or movies: Both!!!!! 5. windows or mac: only tried windows 6. dc or marvel: DC pls 7. xbox or playstation: even though i dont have and console, i like ps better 8. dragon age or mass effect: never played. dont have a console lmao 9. night owl or early riser: if those are video games…. never played i dont have a console 10. cards or chess: cards! 11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 12. vans or converse: converse, never owned vans bc im poor af, so i would probably like both 13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: have no idea what those are 14. fluff or angst: fluff pls 15. beach or forest: beach!!!!!!! 16. dogs or cats: BOTH 17. clear skies or rain: BOTH 18. cooking or eating out: it depends on my mood tbh 19. Spicy food or mild food: both 20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: what 21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold 22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: stop time 23. animation or live action: animations 24. paragon or renegade: what 25. baths or showers: baths, even though i dont own a bathtub 26. team cap or team ironman: Iron Man 27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy 28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? not really 29. youtube or netflix: youtube 30. harry potter or percy jackson: hp, but pj was pretty awesome and diverse than hp.... actually I think I only like hp more bc of the movies, but pj... is very awesome too idk 31. when you feel accomplished: 6. dc or marvel: when i finish a drawing 32. star wars or star trek: star wars 33. paperback books or hardback books: as long as i have books 34. horror or rom-com: yikes rom-com 35. to live in a world without literature or music: death 36. pastel colours or dark colours: i love both!!!!!! 37. tv shows or movies: bitch everything is both here 38. city or countryside: city, but i too love contryside 39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i have no idea 40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: dont ask me that omg 41. cinema or theatre: cinema 42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: midnigher’s 43. smiling or smirking: slut for both 44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: i dont do anything so idk dude 45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle 46. travelling or staying at home: traveling, but i would love staying at my own home 47. books or fanfiction: Both 48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: huh, i had never thought about this, i cant answer now. but probably i would choose to live in one of my daydreaming shit 49. your favorite cartoon: idk i live irmão do jorel, a brazilian cartoon 50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: bruh im dont know 51. mountains or plains: both! 52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): YURI ON ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: Tumblr AND youtube 54. What are some of your passions: music 56. If you have a pet, do they do anything interesting/weird (like a cat that plays fetch, a bird that can say funny things, etc)? : not really. my cat sleeps funny sometimes hsajkdhas