#BRO LIVES AND BREATHES GAYNESS

[oinkinpigprince]

I think it’s so funny how much Zach and Micheal talk about Pim and Charlie kissing. I bet at some point they’re just gonna make Charlie and Pim an actual couple and just NEVER mention it. I think that’s so funny

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Thailand surprised me

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 eps - I love love love Sol! Pink-haired baby idol blast from the past nursing a crush = absolute catnip for me. This is def my favorite Thai BL currently airing. And it’s probably because it has a sort of odd queer authenticity to both its gayness and its rep of the film industry. I mean, of course it’s sanitized into BL fantasy-landia, but there’s an underpinning of something real, for lack of a better word. Normally I prefer the fantasy of my dumb BL worldview, but in this one I’m kind of liking a little chew and grit.

All of which is to say: this is very fucked up messy gay, which normally I’m not wild about, but for some reason I’m really enjoying this version.

On the other side of the BL coin we have:

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 1 of 12 - And I like it a lot. It’s fun and I’m enjoying it (possibly more than it deserves). I like how it’s a little absurdist. I like that it starts with a one night stand. I like all of the side characters. I love the asexual representation. Bonus LUBE! It’s a fun show. More FUN that GMMTV usually goes for.  

Two Worlds (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - The sketching in the cave scene was v sexy. And I’m enjoying this BL, but not for any other reason than MaxNat being MaxNatty all over my screen. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 12fin - I don’t know what I feel about this one. Mostly just indifferent. It was meant to be the paranormal Thai BL pulp about vampires that we were all waiting for, and it ended up just being boring. Frankly, I'd rather be pissed off than bored. 6/10

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I truly love the naked lust on our side couple's pining friend's face. Usually only Japan get this thirsty.

Book is perfectly cast as Moo's older bro. They even look a bit alike but it might have been a mistake, because he’s so damn charismatic. Stole all the breath from the show for a bit. 

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 16 - No report until next week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 11 of 12 - What a fantastic ep. This show really is killing it. I’m so happy with Taiwan right now. 

Carry on.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) 3 of ? - It remains lovely and I remain enjoying it immensely. It’s very Strongberry feeling. That's always a welcome sensation.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - They are so cute and pretty much just boyfriends already regardless of what they each think. I'm scared that next week is the final episode, it doesn’t feel like it’s gone very far.

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I liked it a little better this week. I guess I’m warming up to this one?

Boys Be Brave AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 3-4 of 8 - Ah poor lonely neglected child. They are all such weirdos. I don’t understand any of these characters or their motivations except they are strange kind of cartoons of... something.

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 9-10 of 12 - The guy who plays the vet should be playing a vampire. That's it. That's all I have to say. 

It's airing but...

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - 6 eps, when it's done, tell me if I should bother?

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - supposed to have started on Friday but I couldn't find it, I also didn't try very hard.

In case you missed it

GMMTV announced the second half of their 2024 line up. I got excited and picked my favorites, details + trailers here.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

5/10 A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you.

5/16 Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Strongberry doing classic BL! Weeee!

5/19 OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead (as it were). But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love a shrimp peeling moment in my Thai BL. (Only Boo)

Unquestionably the best moment in BL this year. FIGHT ME. (Unknown)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[birlcholtz]

fic prompt idea: everyone's gay trope

i see your ‘everyone’s gay trope’ and raise you ‘everyone’s gay trope AND they all wind up coming out to each other at the same brunch party’ where of course gay is an umbrella term for Not Hetero specifically bc i dont want to break up charmer

so, brunch. this is bitty’s junior year, and it’s not THE brunch where jack and bitty reveal they’re dating, but it’s a similar vibe y’know? jack and shitty are there. so’s the rest of the team, so ransom and holster and lardo, bitty and ollie and wicks, nursey and dex and chowder, and whiskey and tango (and ford for good measure it’s late in the semester she’s involved)

and someone (nursey, although shitty will join in bc of course) is complaining about how the swallow keeps ranking the sports teams by gayness because that’s people’s private lives, you know, and like he’s POSITIVE every team has a higher percentage than what’s actually reported bc like. nobody wants to give their personal deets to the swallow

and shitty’s like yeah and also like it’s totally rushing people’s own journeys of self-discovery (am i channeling good shitty-speak) which just like isnt fair like if people are questioning let them question? like i totally didn’t even realize i was demi until like, fuck, halfway through senior year and having the swallow breathing down my fuckin neck wouldnt have helped at all

and nursey’s like YEAH like i’m glad i figured that shit out before i got here so i didn’t have to worry about them interrogating me but then DEX is like idk like at least it’s actually discussed on campus like without the swallow making those rankings all the time i probably never would’ve realized i’m gay

and everyone at the table (minus chowder and nursey) is like ....well we did not know that before! but they do their best to act chill

and then ollie and wicks are both like (in unison) ‘yeah same’ and everyone’s like :0 and bitty’s like holy shit are we the gayest class of samwell men’s hockey and then things go downhill from there and by ‘downhill from there’ i mean once it gets competitive there’s a LOT of people like silently checking with each other before being like ACTUALLY WE’RE THE GAYEST (shitty and bitty get into an argument about whether a diff year can be the gayest if they are not in fact all gay, because bitty is determined that he and ollie and wicks are gonna WIN and shitty is like IT’S AN UMBRELLA TERM YOU DON’T WIN and bitty’s like YOU’RE AN ALUM YOU DON’T WIN EITHER and they go around and around in circles)

and then chowder’s like actually i think we’re the gayest because we’re all together! and then someone is like chowder you’re dating farmer?? and chowder’s like yeah her too! it’s swawesome

meanwhile shitty and bitty are still arguing. jack’s quick reflexes have saved a couple of mimosas from going flying. lardo says something about being pan and ransom and holster high five her and nursey goes to high five her too but dex is like nursey what the fuck she’s not in our year she’s the enemy now

and then chowder’s like hey ford sorry for all the weirdness this is kind of what we’re usually like i hope that’s okay!! and ford’s like actually i’m lesbian so this is totally cool with me and tango high fives her and says something about mlm wlw solidarity and whiskey watches all of this chaos with kind of a blank look on his face and someone (nursey probably) is like wow so we’re at almost 100% that’s pretty cool and then whiskey’s like no we’re at 100%? i’m dating chad k? from the lax team?

and the entire table goes SILENT and shitty’s like SAY THAT AGAIN and whiskey’s like I THOUGHT YOU ALL KNEW and bitty’s like >.> bring this ‘chad k’ to the haus tomorrow. we need to evaluate him

and that’s how the samwell men’s hockey team stole a lax bro via seduction (whiskey) and pies (bitty, by accident-- he didn’t plan to steal chad k but he couldn’t NOT give him pie he’s a GUEST. oops)

[wonderlustxennial]

Thoughts on TFATWS Season 1, Episode 3

This shit has gotten ridiculous, so I’ve decided that I’m going to start doing reaction posts, rather than posting 20 individual observations. The following was written after my second viewing.

DISCLAIMER: Some of these are my observations, but others I didn’t notice until my favorite YouTube and Tumblr analysts pointed them out. I’ll try to drop credit where it’s due.

NOTE: There’s something I wish more people were talking about, and it’s down in the Madripoor section. If I’m reading this wrong, I would appreciate getting some help in seeing it. So, if you’re game, please check it out and let me know your thoughts. (#tw:racial bias)

[spoilers below the cut]

Walker Raiding the Flag Smasher Sanctuary

Here we get a further illustration that Walker not a defender; he’s working in the interest of fascists. Also, he’s on an invisible countdown to flip his shit. ALSO-also, dude just told the GRC cops not to give anyone “a second…to breathe.” (Marvel, what are you doing? I am not accustomed to relevance from you.) Did you notice the juxtaposition of Bucky asking the cops, “Don’t you know who he is?” to get the cops to stop harassing Sam, against Walker asking, “Do you know who I am?” while roughing up a refugee for not cooperating with him? Same asshole move, very different contexts. Anytime someone thinks it’s a good idea to say, “Do you know who I/this am/is?” they’ve already lost face.

Zemo in His Cell

Clearly, I’ll have to get better about zooming in on stuff, because this is the first time I’ve seen anyone catch that the book Zemo is reading in his prison cell is about Machiavelli AND Leonardo da Vinci; specifically, about how their friendship and exchange of ideas was highly influential on the future of the world. So, does Zemo think he’s Machiavelli or da Vinci, AND who is his “silent” partner? [I didn’t notice that, until The New Rockstars pointed it out (at 04:00 https://youtu.be/xHXhbw_EGL8) annnnnndddd now I’m going to have to read that fucking book (Fortune Is a River: Leonardo da Vinci & Niccolò Machiavelli’s Magnificent Dream to Change the Course the Florentine History by Roger D. Masters, and the bump in book sales is about to have Masters owing Marvel BIG TIME).]

Zemo Is “Royalty”

And here we have my first problem with this episode. BARONS ARE NOT ROYALTY. They’re nobles—low-ranking aristocracy. But do you know what does check out? Zemo and his butler’s thinly veiled distain at entertaining the two low-born Americans.

On the Plane

Look out, y’all: Satan just took the wheel.

THE NOTEBOOK/S

If Bucky has Steve’s notebook, what happened to the one he had in Romania? In CA:CW, I was stressing throughout that WHOLE fight and chase sequence that followed Bucky running from his apartment; not for his safety, but because I hated how vulnerable it left him to have to run without his notebook. I’m not even kidding. Because Steve picked up that notebook, right? Did he think to take it with him? Surely, an embassy or intelligence service swept Bucky’s living space afterward, so who has it now? THIS is the shit I obsess over. Who has that fucking notebook? WHO??!

TROUBLEMAN

There are at least three different things at play here. First, Sam’s enthusiasm and nostalgia for this relic made me tear up a little. He was so hopeful that Bucky would share Steve’s appreciation this classic piece of socially aware art. Second, we get more evidence that Bucky might be having a harder time adjusting to life as a white man in the 21st Century than we’re led to believe Steve did. Third, we know from Zemo’s interactions with his steward just seconds before that, when he praises Troubleman, what he’s actually doing is virtual signaling to build trust with Sam and put Bucky on the back foot. Fourth, I don’t think Sam knows for sure if Zemo appreciated it as much as it says, but he intuits enough about Zemo’s character to be aggravated at the inference they might have something in common; or, that Zemo might be manipulating him to empty rapport. (RIP, Marvin Gaye. You weren’t done.)

DAS OFFENE NEIN IN DER LIEBI

The New Rockstars win again. (Seriously, I have to start paying closer attention.) A book using mythology to explain the psychology of relationships, just before Zemo namechecks Red Skull. Oh shit, y’all.

ZEMO’S PHILOSOPHY ON SYMBOLS & POWER

The slipperiest thing about Zemo is that nearly everything he says has a kernel of truth; you just have to dig out what his true intentions are. Honestly, this is what makes him…I don’t know that he’s the most dangerous villain in the MCU, but it certainly sets him apart. He’s both educated AND smart (the latter doesn’t necessarily follow the former), and he’s particularly insightful in his ruminations on power and its potential to corrupt both the people who hold it and the people who admire them. Bucky and Sam both loved Steve deeply and believed wholeheartedly in the capacity he served as a defender; however, they have a tendency to over-romanticize both. Multiply that problem by the millions who never personally knew him and, when he’s gone, you get…fake!Cap.

More Relevance from Marvel

I read that Marvel had to do reshoots because a few of the themes in this show hit a little too close to home after the pandemic hit (also because the Black Widow movie was supposed to hit first, but again…global fuckery, so they had to shuffle a few plot points.) But also, refugees? “Displacement” camps? Hoarded resources? You don’t say?

Madripoor

Or “When Murder-Sugardaddy Goes Slumming with His Awkward Sugarbabies and Heinous Fuckery Most Foul Ensues”

AT THE CLUB

THE POWER BROKER. THE POWER BROKER. THE POWER… Soooooooo. Many. Name drops. At this point, I don’t even care to speculate on the identity of the mother-fucking Power Broker. Just surprise me already.

And here’s my (potential) second problem with this episode: The Black bartender doesn’t recognize the Black man he’s presumably seen before.

A CAVEAT TO START: I bartended very briefly in one of my many former lives. I was terrible at it. But here’s what’s relevant for the moment: when you work in the service industry, you meet a lot of fucking people, and you don’t necessarily remember them all. I would work giant events where I would serve 1,000+ people in a night, and people would complain all the time that I was carding them even though I’d served them previously. (1) I live in a state where alcohol is highly controlled, and the ABC Board is zealous about doing stake-outs to catch vendors serving to minors. The ABC Board enforcers would only see me serving someone without having carded them first—not all the times I served them previously. None of these people were EVER worth going to jail for over alcohol. Get your fucking card out—EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME. (2) Dude-man-bro, I’ll have served 1,000+ people by the end of the night. Get your fucking card out, EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

I’m not saying this bartender in a rogue nation should’ve carded all of his patrons; I’m only saying that when you work in the service industry, you can sometimes serve someone 20+ times before you finally recognize their face or learn their names, and the process can start all over again if they haven’t come in for a while.

Here’s the real issue with this scene, as I see it: In-group bias is an actual thing. There are disciplines of social psychologists and sociologists who specialize in studying it. We’re supposed to believe that the “Smiling Tiger” person Sam is posing as is well-known enough, both by reputation and in that establishment, that the bartender remembered his favorite drink but not Sam as an imposter? I can believe Selby, a Caucasian-European woman, didn’t recognize him on-sight. [Frankly, Whites can often (regrettably) get away with not making any effort to overcome cross-racial bias.] But what about this bartender not recognizing a notable local criminal’s face when they belong to the same racial group, when we’re led to believe he’s served him many times before? And how did he know Tiger-whatever’s favorite drink if the guy had never been in the club? Are we to infer this guy wasn’t high enough on the local criminal food chain to have merited an introduction to Selby?) Is this a plot hole, or am I reading too much into this? I just wonder, given how much this series has devoted to exploring racial relations.

Sam just saw Bucky the most vulnerable as I think he ever has. For the first time, very little was left to Sam’s imagination as to what it must’ve been like for Bucky and Isaiah to have been exploited. And Sam is so good, he can’t help but jeopardize the mission to check on the friend he can’t acknowledge to himself he’s found in Bucky. (He also has no guile, which is so very Steve of him! I’ve just loved Mackie’s performance this whole show.)

I don’t know what to think about how easily it came to Zemo to objectify and use Bucky, again—even if only to pretend.

Bucky is the MCU character I most identify with, but I don’t care to analyze the way the bar scene made me feel. I will say this much, though: THIS is how badly Bucky wants this whole thing resolved. He subjected himself willingly to the stuff of his nightmares, even if to just to perform in the world’s most dangerous live-action role play. As many people were taking pictures in the bar, it’s pretty safe to say that this charade is going to going to have long-term consequences.

People are talking about Bucky “suddenly losing his super-speed” when they had to hoof it away from the bar like it’s a lapse in characterization, but it’s not. Bucky could’ve taken off and left both Sam and Zemo sucking dirt, but he lagged to stay with them. He didn’t ghost them.

SHARON IS A BLACK-MARKET ART DEALER

Godammit. I despise the practice of the filthy rich removing fine art and cultural artifacts from the public view so they can use them for tax breaks and currency. Way to push my buttons, Marvel! And I’m so sure the National Art Gallery of Art and all other art museums worldwide will I mean WON’T appreciate Marvel calling into question the authenticity of their collections, seeing as museum funding and attendance is already anemic thanks to the pandemic. I know it’s bad priorities on my part, but that’s temporarily preempted how much I should probably sympathize with her after her abandonment.

EDIT: The person who gave Sharon the intelligence will figure she had something to do with his demise just a few hours later. I wonder if that will help/harm her ability to do business. Also: holding the barrel of that assault rifle while it fired off rounds should’ve burned her hand horribly.

ZEMO BREAKS THE INTERNET

Did anyone else think “Sprockets!” when Zemo started dancing??!

NAGEL

This is two references to Langley in one episode. For anyone not aware (especially non-Americans), “Langley” is commonly used to reference Langley, Virginia, which is where the most prominent institution is the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) headquarters. Both Hoskins and Nagel name dropped them in the same episode. Shit.

The Sugars Roll Up to Zemo’s Latvian Bolthole

Bucky’s mission just got a helluva lot more complicated. Sam might have bought the “just going for a walk” bit, but I doubt Zemo did. Bucky owes the Wakandans, but he still needs Zemo. Oh, boy.

Wrap-Up

I’m going to keep coming back to how unexpected it’s been to me that Marvel has finally started to course correct, focusing on characterizations and bringing in themes that are relevant to current events. WandaVision’s explorations of Wanda’s mental health and Monica’s forging of her new identity and TFATWS trying to engage with the audience on topics like race, violence, exploitation, and identity is hugely compelling to me. It’s a fucking TV show, but at this point in popular cultural history, I can’t think of anyone/anything else better positioned to address all of this in an entertaining and accessible way.

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.

[probablydaydreamingg]

Nicotino AU fic - The Sun in His Eyes

Here it is ! The first chapter of my Nicotino AU fic. Please let me know what you guys think as it is my first fic and I have no idea if it’s any good. It involves the contrabbandieri a lot, so if you miss them as much as I do… You know what to do ;)

You can read it on AO3 here.

Summary: I contrabbandieri goes camping for a few days once they’re done with school. All Martino wanted was to relax and be a careless teenager for a few days. He had no idea that he would fall in love in the process. On their first day of lounging on the beach they meet a group of boys and play beach volley with them. They hit it off immediately and spend the rest of their vacation together. The problem is that one of them is the most beautiful boy in the planet and Martino can’t help but falling for his green eyes and his sunshine smile.

Chapter 1

It’s fair to say that it hadn’t be easy for Martino to convince his mom to let him go on vacation with the boys, but she finally caved in, after several conversations and one long speech from Gio exposing the different benefits of a friends’ gateway to the beach for a few days. It’s not that Martino’s mom didn’t trust Martino or the boys to be on their own, it’s mostly that she didn’t like the idea of being alone in the house for days. Martino knew that, which is why he managed to convince her to take this opportunity to visit her sister for a few days, this way it would be a nice getaway for them both. And of course, Martino would call her everyday to tell her all about their trip.

It was a month ago when Gio had proposed to go camping once they’re out of school, just the four of them together, Elia, Luchino and Marti. Gio had broken up with Sofia not so long before, which might be what prompted the idea of the getaway. Turned out all four boys could use some time to breathe the clean coastal air, to just chill under the sun for a few days. Their fourth year of high school had been exhausting for all of them, and one thing that’s for sure is that their fifth and final year won’t be any easier. They might as well enjoy themselves while they can. Martino was particularly grateful for this opportunity to be a careless teenager for a few days, to be completely rid of any responsibilities. As much as he loves his mom, with her ups and downs, he does have to put on his adult’s shoes more so than the average teenager which tend to be tiresome. Martino and his mom managed to find a balance, they’ve learned how to live without his dad by now and their relationship is now stronger than ever before, but even then Martino sometimes feels like there is a huge weight on his shoulders.

The boys decided on Fregene for their trip as it’s a short train ride away from Rome, is known to attract many young Italians due to its many bars and clubs, and on top of it is a relatively cheap destination for poor high schoolers like them. And as Luchino said: “I’m sure it’s full of pretty girls. We’ll have the time of our lives guys”. Even though Martino couldn’t care less if there were pretty girls there or not, he sure was looking forward to those few days at the beach with his friends.

The thing is that Martino had come to terms with the fact that’s he’s attracted to boys, and boys only, a few months ago. He just couldn’t lie to himself anymore, not when it took everything for him to try and pretend that he was even remotely attracted to Emma. No really, he just decided there was no point in putting up this façade for himself anymore. That’s the conclusion he came to after taking a quiz to assess his gayness (the results were complete bullshit by the way) – turns out if you take a quiz to know if you’re gay, there is a 99.9% chance that you’re gay, or bi, or pan, or anything else that isn’t straight. Just deal with it. Martino dealt with it, in fact he felt pretty good about it, even better now that his feelings for Gio seem to be a memory of the past. He hasn’t told any of the boys yet though, he hasn’t told anyone for that matter. He was too afraid of what their reaction might be, and he values their friendship way too much to risk losing them. Gio, Luchino and Elia are his moral support and he didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t get to spend most of his useless afternoons with them.

This is the exact thought that crossed Martino’s mind while he looked at his three best friends on the train to Fregene. Gio was telling a story excitedly with his hands, while Luchino was laughing loudly at all of his jokes and asking dumb questions from time to time which meant Gio had to tell the story from the beginning again since apparently Luchino didn’t understand any of it. Elia was looking at them both and shaking his head at their antics. Martino was thinking about how grateful he was that these three were in this life. Gio noticed that Martino was staring at them without saying anything, he looked back at him with a question in his eyes, probably wondering what’s in Marti’s mind like the mom friend he is. Martino tries to convey through his eyes that he’s fine, he’s just glad to be going on this trip with them and taking his mind off things. Gio seems to be satisfied with what he sees in Martino’s eyes and continues babbling about some adventure he’s had. After an hour and a half spent talking, listening to music, playing games, they arrive to their destination. It was near midday when they checked into the campsite and set up their tent. The campsite seems pretty chill, it has a pool, a snack bar and basically everything you would expect from the place. They decide not to lose any time and go straight to the beach once they’re done. The four boys wear really big smiles in addition to their light shirts, swimming trunks, flip flops and sunglasses. Once they step foot on the sand Martino takes a deep breath, the smell of iodine and sun cream invading his nostrils. They all look around them, at the people lying around sunbathing, at the people playing beach games, at the sun rays hitting the sea creating millions of crystalline reflections. They then look at each other and smile their widest smiles, summer vacation is officially on.

“Alright let’s find a spot to lay down and show off our athletic bodies guys!” taunts Elia.

“You mean show off our belly rolls” laughs back Gio. “Mr. Boccia was right, we should have been more dedicated in PE. Woah, I didn’t think I would ever say this, but I almost miss the guy”

“Me too honestly bro. We should have brought him and his husband with us, they could help us get into shape.” Says Marti.

“Wait why are we talking about Boccia right now?” Interrupts Luchino. “let’s go find that spot, we’re not allowed to talk about anything related to school, that’s the rule!”.

“There aren’t any rules Luchi, we’re just joking” retorts Gio. “Actually, the only rule is that there aren’t any rules”.

“That’s fine by me. Let’s go” concludes Elia. They all start walking, they take off their flip flops and then realize this was a bad idea as the sand is painfully hot. They put them back on as fast as they can when their feet can’t take the scorching heat anymore and head off again.

They end up spreading their beach towels near a cabin that sells drinks and snacks, just in front of a court where you can play beach volley. It’s the perfect spot for their starving stomachs, and also for people watching (because who doesn’t people watch when they go to the beach – people who are blind that’s who). Luchino doesn’t waste one second before rushing to the cabin to get food into his craving belly. The three boys follow suit not long after. They’re all eating their snacks, shirts off, fan-shaped feet, when a group of boys get into the beach volley court. They are a group of four guys who seem to be around the same age as them. One of them is dark-skinned and super athletic, looking like the type of guy that goes to the gym several times a week and likes to preach the virtues of maintaining a healthy body. The one next to him is much less built, with what looks like a bad sunburn on his upper back, he has brown hair and wears glasses which give him a bit of a nerdy look. The third one seems super chill while looking quite confident, his posture tells you that you’d have to try really hard for him to get riled up. But the one that caught Marti’s attention the most is the fourth one, a dark-haired boy with a blinding smile. Seriously he’s never seen a smile so wide and bright in his life. And…oh well the boy also happens to be ripped so there’s that. But Martino can’t help but staring at his face, his smile, his green eyes, his curls that fall over his eyes. Martino suddenly realizes that he’s been staring for far too long and tries to snap out of it. He looks over at the boys next to him, who are also looking at the group of boys in front of them. Martino dares to glance one more time at wide smile boy, which confirms to him he is just as beautiful and breathtaking as he first thought. Martino knows he shouldn’t let himself get too invested into a stranger who is most likely straight, but at this moment all his mind is telling him is that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of harmless staring from afar. Suddenly a voice breaks his reverie:

“It would be cool to play some beach volley while we’re here, what do you think guys? Get our bodies moving a little bit?” asks Elia.

“Yeah maybe” replies Gio, looking a little bothered.

“All I can think of is how I wished those were girls playing in front of us” interjects Luchino.

Martino realizes that female volleyball players have to be the last thing Gio wants to think about right now. “Hey Luchino stop being a perv will you, we could play after they’re done”.

Gio looks at him, seeming invigorated again. “Sounds like a good idea Marti, I’m proud of you for actually agreeing to get up and move your body to play real life sports. You like to brag about how you’re winning me in FIFA, but you won’t be bragging for long when it comes to this.”

Elia and Luchino snickers, Martino rolls his eyes, and then Elia says: “but wait why don’t we ask the boys to play with them, they’re only four, we could play four to four, that’s much better”.

Luchino doesn’t seem convinced: “did you look at them though? Two of them look like they could be fitness coaches, like it shouldn’t be legal to be this ripped, we would get crashed in seconds”.

“Well yeah with you in our team that’s for sure” replies Gio “but come on it’ll be fun, and muscles don’t mean anything when it comes to volley, maybe they suck at it as bad as us”. Right as Gio finished his sentence, a ball rolls to Martino’s feet. Looks like the boys had started playing while they were chatting. The dark-skinned boy picks up the ball and looks over at them, they probably looked like idiots caught in flashlights.

“Ciao” greets the guy “sorry for the ball”.

Gio is the first one to recover: “Hey no problem, actually we were talking of joining you guys for a match, what do you think?” With all of this Martino had almost forgotten of wide smile boy, almost being the key word. He’s conflicted between wanting to be as far from him as possible so as not to embarrass himself and wanting to get to know the person behind the warm smile. Truthfully, he didn’t think showing off his non-existent real life sports skills would play in his favor as a first introduction, but it was too late to back off now.

Dark skinned boy now has a name, it’s Amir, he seems to be a really nice guy, he introduces them to the other three boys: Aurelio (the laid-back one), Stefano (the one with glasses) and… Niccolò. Niccolò is the name of the most beautiful boy Martino has laid his eyes on. Martino greets him as calmly as he can, trying not to show how affected he is by the boy. The thing is that Martino was caught off guard by the way Niccolò looked back at him, his smile seemed even wider, even brighter, and there was something in his eyes that Martino couldn’t decipher. Martino tried to reign his expressions in, however he’s pretty sure he didn’t manage to prevent the blush from creeping up on his face. Martino averts his eyes and tries to focus on the situation at hand. Beach volley. The ball. The net. The contrabbandieri next to him. Four seemingly friendly boys on the other side of the net. Martino reminds himself not to make a big deal out of this situation, it’s just a game and nothing is at stake. Just let it go, this is what this vacation is about remember?

“So, we’ll just pass the ball around at first, we’ll start counting the points once we’re warmed up, what do you say?” asks Amir.

“Well as you probably figured out we do need a bit of a warm up, so let’s do that” replies Gio sarcastically.

“We may look inexperienced but that’s just a trick. We’re actually going to smash you guys” added Elia. The four boys in front of them laughed at that.

“Well we’ll see about that” said Niccolò, and as he said that he turned his head to look at Martino. Martino wished he could be anywhere but here in this moment, he’s beginning to think that agreeing to play with them was the worst idea of the century.

They started playing and admittedly they weren’t as bad as he’d thought. Amir and Aurelio were respectively strong and fast, but overall both teams were relatively even. Martino was finally able to loosen up a little, cracking jokes with the boys in between passes. He sometimes felt like there were eyes on him, but he didn’t know if it was his mind playing tricks or if it was indeed the case. Niccolò was jumping around excitedly, his smile never seeming to falter even when he missed the ball. The fact that he is a bit shorter than the other tree boys of his team was the most endearing thing. They ended up face to face at some point, looking at each other from across the net, and again his body is reacting in a way that he can’t control. Gio throws the ball to the other side, and Niccolò jumps to get it, setting his body in motion. Martino makes a mental note to thank Gio for this moment, because he is in first row to witness the way Niccolò’s muscles contract and expand. He gets a full view of his torso, his arms, his baby blue shorts that hang low on his stomach and give way to his sharp hip bones, his legs, his face of concentration, and… The ball that comes crashing down Martino’s face. Well he was way too engrossed into everything that is Niccolò to see this one coming.

“Hey Marti, are you sleeping or what??” mocks Gio “you know you have to catch the ball with your hands, not your head”.

“Ahaha thank you for the reminder Gio”.

“Marti you ok? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” for the first time since Martino laid his eyes on him, Niccolò wears an expression of worry on his face, his usual excited demeanor gone. And wait… did he just call him “Marti”??

Martino reassures him right away, “No don’t worry, I’m fine”. They change positions and Martino tries not to die from embarrassment.

The two boy squads chatted in between passes, hitting it off almost immediately. Naturally it wasn’t long before they realized they all come from Rome. Aurelio, Stefano and Amir go to university there, while Niccolò just graduated from high school and will start his first year of uni in September. It’s clear that Niccolò doesn’t want to get into the details of why he’s one year behind the boys even though they are the same age. They chat about everything and anything, mostly about the differences between high school and university, as well as their reason for being here. The boys arrived the day before to spend a few days on the beach as Aurelio happens to have a cousin that lives in Fregene where they are staying. In just the little time that they’ve known the four boys, they’ve come to realize how strong their friendship is, the bond that unites them akin to the one of the contrabbandieri. It is quite obvious in the way that they share looks, sometimes holding silent conversations, in the way that they tease each other constantly lovingly. Even though the four boys have very distinct personalities from that of Martino, Gio, Elia and Luca, their similar dynamics is what made them click instantly, what made them feel comfortable around each other.

After over an hour of playing beach volley, Stefano shouted: “the last one in the water is the real loser”, prompting all eight boys to rush to the sea. None of the boys wanted to make the race easy for anyone, barring the way, kicking, pushing, it was a mess of legs, arms and laughter. Just as Martino was reaching the water, he felt arms enveloping him from behind preventing him from going any further. The arms that were around him felt both strong and soft on his skin, almost like their first intent were to hold rather than constrict. Not forgetting of the race, Martino managed to wiggle himself out of the grip to keep on running, almost immediately missing the sensation of the arms surrounding him. Once he was in the water, he turned around to see that the arms that enveloped him belonged to Niccolò. He was smiling his signature sunshine smile, only it was so big now it was threatening to break his face. Which would be an absolute shame considering its statuesque beauty. And he was laughing, a low and sweet sound. Martino wanted to slap himself for being so infatuated with every little thing Niccolò does.

“What exactly did you want to do Niccolò?” asked Martino with what was left of his bravery, he hoped his smile wasn’t too big, “just accept that you lost”.

“Well it was worth trying, and by the way I didn’t lose! Luca was the last one!” replied Niccolò in a smug way.

“I’m sorry but if you arrive second to last, the last being Luchino, that means you lost. It’s just a fact” teases Martino.

“Oh, okay I see how it is. I didn’t see you as the merciless type Martino. It’s not like you won either” Niccolò teases back, with the cutest headshake.

“No, it’s true but…” And it’s right at that moment that Gio decided to come up behind him without making a sound and drown him. When Martino came back to the surface he wanted nothing but to murder Gio, he went after him to try and drown him as a reprisal, but he was stronger than him and managed to drown him a second time. Martino came back up again, his hair all over the place, struggling to come up for air after he swallowed sea water. Martino finally dared to glance at Niccolò who looked like he was having the time of his life. Gio looked between Martino and Niccolò with a questioning look, probably wondering if he interrupted something.

“Hey Nico, don’t let those Bambi eyes of his fool you ok? He’s far from being innocent himself, trust me” says Gio. Martino wishes he would just shut his mouth and stop embarrassing him even further. Martino was managing this well enough on this own anyway.

“Bambi eyes?” Asked Niccolò, his eyes looking intensely at Martino’s, “ah yes Bambi really suits you actually” he added, looking pleased with himself.

Martino felt his cheeks turning red, but still managed to get out a “don’t listen to what Gio says, I’m definitely not a Bambi”.

“I beg to differ” responded Niccolò, looking smug yet again.

Gio was silently laughing next to Marti and then said to Nico “I feel like we’re going to get along just well you and me”.

Martino couldn’t take it anymore, “I’m going to drown the both of you if you don’t stop talking bullshit”.

“I’d like to see you try” challenged Niccolò. And try he did. He doesn’t know what force spurred him towards Nico and made him brave enough to try and drown him. He was touching his skin. His naked wet skin. It was a mess of limbs, legs, arms intertwined, that Martino couldn’t register which part of Nico he was touching. But he was touching him. Holy shit. At some point Martino’s face ended up really close to Niccolò’s, and for a slip second their eyes met, it was such a short moment and yet so intense. Nico finally gave out under his weight and was swallowed by the water. When he comes back up his hair messily covers his eyes and he’s giggling like he couldn’t be bothered. He then pushed his hair back to reveal his eyes again. Martino is mesmerized by their color, it’s a peculiar shade of green, almost like they have yet to decide if they are hazel or a mix of green and blue. Martino shouldn’t be so entranced only by a pair of eyes, but he couldn’t help himself. Next to them the rest of the boys, whom Gio had gone back to, were being loud and messy, splashing water in all directions, shouting and laughing like they had no care in the world. Martino could hear them, but it was faint, like he was hearing them from inside a secluded place. Niccolò was looking straight into his eyes and Martino wasn’t sure he knew how to speak anymore. Thankfully Niccolò was the first one to break the silence.

“For the record I could have drown you so easily, I just decided to let you do it. I didn’t want to offend Bambi” he said mockingly, his smile never faltering, even for a second.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You’re so tiny, you wouldn’t be able to drown me” Oh, he hadn’t lost his capacity to speak, that’s great. But did he just say that Niccolò is tiny?? He’s regretting ever opening his mouth. Technically Niccolò isn’t tiny, he’s built and has defined muscles. While Martino is toned but not as built and muscly, he is however taller and broader than Niccolò who has narrow shoulders and hips. Physicality aside his whole demeanor oozes tiny, there’s no denying that. Martino didn’t mean to say it out loud though, he’d rather keep this for himself. But it’s too late now and Niccolò is looking at him indignantly.

“I’m sorry what? Tiny? Me? I’ll let you know I’m the master of drowning. I just didn’t want to outshine you” he responded.

“Is that so? ‘Cause it sounds a lot like something a tiny person would say” and there he said it again, why can’t he shut his mouth?

And at this moment the bubble they were in was burst by the boys coming into their vision. Aurelio and Amir started messing with Niccolò, ruffling his hair and then trying to drown him. Niccolò tried to resist but the “master” of drowning couldn’t do much against these two. Once they were done with him, Niccolò went after Amir to retaliate. He did manage to drown him after some dazzling efforts.

Martino was now surrounded by Gio, Elia and Luca who were observing the commotion. The momentum Niccolò and Martino shared was definitely lost. That’s when Luchi’s stomach decided to intervene: “hey guys I’m starving, don’t you want to get something to eat?”. They all ended up going back to their towels. Martino glanced at Niccolò who was a few steps away, engrossed in a conversation with Amir. He was looking like a Roman God gracefully making his way out of the water, with droplets on his torso and his shorts plastered on his legs. It was all too much that Martino couldn’t stare at him for too long. The group of boys settled their beach towels next to the contrabbandieri’s. There was some sort of silent agreement that the two boy squads had adopted each other and didn’t want to go their separate ways. Martino is laying down on his towel, face up, when his eyes catch those of Niccolò’s who was still standing. They stare at each other for a few seconds longer than socially acceptable. Martino recalls their moment in the water and starts wondering if there might be more to it than friendly banter, but he knows he’s venturing into dangerous territory and tries to drown the thought as soon as it emerges, the same way he had physically drowned Niccolò, without much of a second thought.

“Hey, do you guys like to smoke? We brought some good weed that we could share” asked Aurelio.

“Ahh yes you’re saving us because we didn’t bring any” responded Elia. Gio and Luca looked at Aurelio like Christmas came early.

“Well we thought we’d celebrate as it’s just us boys you know. No girls on our backs telling us what to do and all that” added Aurelio.

“Yeah no Magdalena in sight” joked Stefano. His three best friends looked at him with a knowing look. This seems to be an inside joke, and it got Martino curious.

“Who’s Magdalena?” Martino asked.

“My ex-girlfriend” Niccolò responded straight away in a stern voice. He wasn’t looking at Martino when he said it. When he finally did there was something foreign in his eyes, a distance that Martino had never seen before. It took him a while to register the information. An ex-girlfriend. A girlfriend. A girl. Of course, girls would be into Niccolò. Of course, Niccolò would be into girls. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to Martino, but it still stung him in a way that wasn’t comfortable. That’s what Martino gets for letting his guard down, for thinking for even a second that Niccolò could be into him. Martino hasn’t learnt his lesson apparently and he feels so very stupid for falling for a straight guy on his first day of vacation.

“We’re also completely girls free, so we can celebrate together. What about we hang out on the beach tonight then?” asked Gio to the group, breaking the awkward silence that followed Niccolò’s revelation. “We could play some games, play music and all that, what do you say?”

“Yeah sounds good! we could meet up here again after diner” responded eagerly Amir.

“That’s a deal!” concluded Gio.

All boys looked enthusiastic at the idea. It was almost seven when the two groups of boys collected their stuff and went their separate ways, the contrabbandieri to the campsite, and the other boys to Aurelio’s cousin’s. Martino hadn’t dared look at Niccolò again. On the way to their tent, Gio looks over at Martino, who didn’t have it in him to feign being cheerful. Gio knew him too well anyway, so there was no point in pretending. Gio didn’t say anything but it was clear he noticed. Martino knew Gio would ask about it later, but for now all Martino wanted to do was take a shower and try to get a certain pair of green eyes out of his mind.

[diversegaminglists]

Games where you can play as nobility and royalty

If a game appears on more than one list, it’s because there are multiple protagonists or a choice of protagonists.

Emperors/Empresses:

Breath of Fire IV (You switch between two protagonists, one of which is an Emperor)

Civilisation Franchise

Dishonored 2

Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom

Empress of the Deep Franchise

Reigning Kings:

Civilisation Franchise

Crusader Kings Franchise

Dragonsphere

Final Fantasy VI (Edgar)

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King

Kingdom & Kingdom: New Lands

Little King’s Story

Medieval: Total War

No King No Kingdom

Pharaoh and Cleopatra

Reigns

The Sims Medieval (Monarch)

Reigning Queens:

Civilisation Franchise

Coconut Queen

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a Darklord

Guenevere

Kingdom & Kingdom: New Lands

Moonchild

Pharaoh and Cleopatra

Queendom (VR)

The Sims Medieval (Monarch)

Summoner 2 (Maia)

Queen Consort:

Reigns Her Majesty

Princes:

Al-Qadim: The Genie's Curse

Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan

Bloody Bride

Deadly Towers

Disgaea: Hour of Darkness

Divinity: Dragon Commander

Divinity: Original Sin 2 (The Red Prince)

Dragon Age: Origins (Dwarf Noble Origin)

Dragon Warrior II

Fable III (becoming King/Queen is one of the main plots of the game)

Final Fantasy IV (Cecil is technically the Crown Prince)

Final Fantasy XV (Noctis)

Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon (Marth)

Fire Emblem Fates

Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones

Fire Emblem: Thracia 776

Katamari Franchise

King's Bounty: Warriors of the North

The Lost Heir: The Fall of Daria

Medieval Moves: Deadmund's Quest

Odin Sphere

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Franchise

Ramayana

Scarlet Nightfall

Skeleton Warriors

Suikoden V

Super Smash Bros

Valhalla Franchise

Your Royal Gayness

Princesses:

Achievement Hunter: Princess

Amazing Princess Sarah

Awakening Franchise (Sophia)

Battle Fantasia (Olivia)

Battle Princess Madelyn

The Charming Empire

Child of Light

Chop Chop Princess!

Chronotopia

Cinderella Phenomenon

Dark Cloud 2 (Monica)

Dead or Alive (Kasumi)

Destiny's Princess: A War Story, A Love Story

Disney’s Brave

Disney’s The Little Mermaid

Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure

Disney’s Tangled

Dragon Age: Origins (Dwarf Noble Origin)

Fable III (becoming King/Queen is one of the main plots of the game)

Final Fantasy V (Several)

Final Fantasy IX (Garnet)

Final Fantasy XII (Ashe)

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia

Fire Emblem Fates

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones

Giants: Citizen Kabuto (Delphi)

Gladius (Ursula)

Golden Axe Franchise

Hyrule Warriors

IKEMEN Royal Palace ～Midnight Cinderella～

King’s Bounty: Armoured Princess

King's Bounty: Crossworlds

King's Quest IV: The Perils Of Rosella

King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride

The Knife of the Traitor

Lads in Distress

Libra of the Vampire Princess

Long Live the Queen!

The Lost Heir: The Fall of Daria

Magical Otoge Ciel

Mica: Apoptosis

Miranda’s Choice

Mortal Kombat (Kitana, Mileena)

Mushihimesama

My World, My Way

Oceanic Hearts

Odin Sphere

Panel de Pon

Pairs (Lek Noiya)

Piggy Princess

Princess Arthur

Princess Battles

A Princess’ Tale

The Princess’ Heart

Princess Isabella Franchise

Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior

Princess Natasha: Student Secret Agent Princess

Princess in Love aka It’s a Girl Thing! Princess in Love

Queen at Arms

Queen’s Crown

Princess Edge - Dragonstone

Princess Remedy in a World of Hurt

Pyrite Heart

The Second Reproduction

Seven Kingdoms: The Princess Problem

Shall we date?: Sengoku Darling -Choose your Destination-

Soul Calibur (Hilde von Krone)

Skullgirls (Parasoul)

Street Fighter (Elena)

Super Smash Bros

Super Princess Peach

Valkyrie Profile 2 (Alicia)

Without a Voice

Yggdra Union (Yggdra)

Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon

Zelda's Adventure

General Nobility:

Agarest: Generations of War

Assassin’s Creed 2, Brotherhood, & Revelations

Blackguards

Castle Crashers

Crusader Kings Franchise

Darkest Dungeon

Dracula: Love Kills

Dragon Age: Origins (Human Noble Origin)

Dungeon Defenders

Final Fantasy Tactics (Ramza)

Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade

Fire Emblem: The Blinding Blaze

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia

Gemfire

The Grand Ball

King’s Bounty: The Legend

The Last Story

My Lady

Masquerada: Songs and Shadows

Masques and Murder!

Patrician Franchise

Regency Solitaire

Robin Hood: The Legend of Sherwood

Rome: Total War

Tales of Graces

Sacred/Sacred Gold (Vampiress)

Serafina’s Crown

Shovel Knight

Suikoden III

Suikoden IV

Trine Franchise (The Knight)

Vampire: The Masquerade - Redemption

Games where you can become nobility/royalty:

Affairs of the Court: Choice of Romance

Celestian Tales Franchise

Cute Knight & Cute Knight: Kingdom

Dragon Age: Origins

Dragon Age 2

Dragon Quest III

Fable II

Fire Emblem Awakening (if you marry into it)

For Honor

The Guild Franchise

Hero of the Kingdom II

Jade Empire

King’s Quest Franchise

Lords of the Realm

Neverwinter Nights 2

Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen

Prince of Persia (The original 2D ones)

Princess Debut

Princess Maker Franchise

Princess of Tavern

Quest for Glory Franchise

Tears to Tiara Franchise

Adults Only:

Age of Barbarian

A Dance of Rogues (NWN Modules)

Eiyu*Senki - The World Conquest

Katahane

Kuro no Tsuki ~ Darkness of the Moon

Mamatoto ~A Record of War~

Melty’s Quest

Words Worth

Needs More Research:

Might and Magic VII: For Blood and Honor

Touhou

[bylerchoseme]

Oneshot #33 :) Best intentions

"Did you hear, Albus and Scorpius are gay?" A first year said to Rose. She rolled her eyes. "You have got to be kidding me." Rose sighed. The first year wasn't sure about her tone. "They are totally gay. All of Hogwarts is talking." She explained. Rose face palmed herself. "Tell me something I don't already know." She tapped her foot. "Oh I am sorry to have bothered you. I didn't know you knew." The first year walked away. "I literally have to be reminded everyday." Rose said to herself. Whispers among students occurred repeating the same thing. "Scorpius and Albus are gay, the only gays at Hogwarts." A ravenclaw passed the news to a Slytherin. All day, students talked. "The gayness is so real." A hufflepuff told a Gryffindor. Lily and James heard the talk last. "We should be the last person they tell something like that too. We are related to him." Lily commended. James scratched his chin. "Apparently everyone knows how gay Albus and Scorpius are except for them." "They might in secret." She giggled. "The question is, what are we gonna do? Our bro is gay." She smiled. The eldest brother thought about it. "Neither will crack. We will need to plan something good." An idea came to him. "I got it." He grinned. Lily loved the sound of this. "Do tell me." She encouraged him. James and Lily met in the common room to do some plotting. Scorpius and Albus walked together side by side in the hallway, carrying books. Eyes stared, speaking quietly about the recent gossip. By now, everyone was aware. "Today is strange." Scorpius looked at each person one by one keeping a straight face. Albus wasn't bothered. He continued moving as if nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "It doesn't matter. We can keep it cool." Albus was calm. In the meanwhile, James and Lily set up the game plan hoping it works. "Alright, we should invite all the houses down now." Lily was a little bit nervous. James smiled, "You read my mind." Lily and James roamed through all areas of the school telling everyone to meet them outdoors near the bleachers. Of course, Albus and Scorpius were late. Once they arrived, they took their seats. "I am scared." Scorpius gritted his teeth together. "I admit, I am too." So much for that bravery. Currently, all the bleachers were filled. No one knew what this was about. Lily took a speaker phone. "Thank you all for joining us. We created a kiss cam. It will randomly choose two people and whichever pair it lands on has to kiss." She gave a simple announcement. Tension built, and the pressure in the air increased. A few students were happy, some terrified and others uneasy. James hit a button watching the machine shuffle mixing names around. Everyone held their breath. The kiss cam revealed the names to James and Lily and the moment of truth in reach. Albus and Scorpius were targeted appearing on a live screen. "We have to kiss. Oh my god." Scorpius covered his face. Albus slouched down to hide himself. "Oh lord." The cam zoomed closer making it impossible not to kiss. "The faster we do it, the faster we get it over with." Scorpius couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. Albus slid himself back up turning toward Scorpius taking the first forward lean. Scorpius followed after. Two hearts beat as the the inevitable was about to occur. Very quickly, Scorpius kissed Albus hopping on his lap. Albus was ataken back. Scorpius wrapped hands around his neck, kissing him some more. Albus rested his hands on Scorpius's lap, caressing both sides. The kiss escalated beyond their control.

[ppandfm]

Parties, Formal Meetings & Pinetrees   Chapter: 2

Description: The day after the boys meet~! After a long night and all we get to see the daily lives of Dipper and Bill. With a special guest appearance of Pyronica!

    Dipper had been quietly pacing for almost a few minutes now. He was stuck thinking about that note he had just read not long ago. Suddenly, he heard a strange noise he identified as his body demanding food. After a moment’s rest, he decided to go get some breakfast. Dipper wasted no time going downstairs to get some food, taking the stairs two at a time in a slight rush. By the time he made it to the kitchen to get his breakfast, Mabel was already there eating three oranges.  Dipper, taking a deep breath, trotted over to the fridge to get some fruit himself. From the previous night, he was still pretty tired from that Misery’s unnecessary visit. Mabel probably wasn’t that upset about last night, which was a good thing. Though, he could never shake the thought of that note the Misery left behind. He was tempted after all to just throw it away and be done with it. Not even bother getting involved and continue on with his day.

But, there was something strange about that guy. He didn’t seem to hate Dipper, unlike any other Misery he’d ever met. All the rumors said Miseries would rob a rich person without thinking twice. So, why is it that Bill didn’t even try?

Maybe Miseries weren't as bad as everyone said they were.

Dipper shook his head. Of course Miseries are horrible. Bill never thought twice about how sleeping in the teen’s bed would affect Dipper. Hence, Dipper’s back was sore. He should get rid of the note; it would cause nothing but trouble.

But, then again, Bill was very pretty.

Dipper was still having an internal debate when Mabel handed him a lemon slice. He didn’t realize until he started sucking on it.

“Ptoo! Mabel!” he exclaimed. His devilish sister began to laugh. She didn’t stop until Dipper attempted to get her back by punching her shoulder. She brushed him off as her laughter died out.

“Aw, c’mon, bro bro. Let me have my fun.”

“Fine, as long as you prank someone else.”

“Okay. Hey, did you hear all that music last night? I think Love God is testing out some new music.”

“One, his name is Bill. Two, it was a party. I called the police on them.”

Dipper paused realizing what he said. Fuck, “Who’s Bill?” Mabel raised an eyebrow.

“Uh- uhm.”  

“Were you at the party last night?” Dipper cringed at the thought. Being at a party with those Miseries? He didn’t like the thought and what would his parents think of him?

“No Mabel I wasn’t.”  Mabel squinted as Dipper simply stated his answer. She smiled as another thought came to her head. Maybe there was something more about this ‘Bill’? She had to find out.  “Is he your secret boyfriend or something?”  

Dipper about choked on his fruit as he felt a blush creeping up on him. He tried to not focus so much on the thought, but he couldn’t stop himself. Him with a Misery? He only cringed more. That wouldn’t really work out. Right?  He shook his head dismissing it. No he wouldn’t...would he?

“Ew Mabel no-”

“I mean I don’t have a problem with you being gay bro bro.”

“Mabel please no-”

“I mean like there could be a chance, you may never know.”

“Mabel stop-”

“What’s the matter with dating a guy Dipper?” Mabel tilted her head as she continued, “You can tell me anything Dippin’ Dots.”

Mabel grinned before leaning over and giving Dipper a light shove. Dipper rolled his eyes huffing as he tried to compose himself once again. “There’s nothing going on between him and I-” Goddamn it there it went.

“So you DO know this Bill!” Mabel exclaimed as she poked her brother's’ cheek.

“N-No, no I don’t!” Dipper huffed again staring at his sister blushing a little more.  

Mabel laughed at her twin’s gayness, “Was he the reason you were cursing loudly last night?”

Dipper opened his mouth to retaliate, but he didn’t. Really, Mabel wasn’t wrong, although he wouldn’t admit that. He couldn’t deal with the teasing. He must have blushed; his twin started giggling.

“Oh my god, look at your face! You’re a tomato!” she exclaimed, not speaking again until her laughter had died out, “You’ve got a secret that I wanna know, but I’m not gonna pressure you into telling me because I’m a good sister and I love you. If you ever wanna tell me what this is, you know where to find me.”

Mabel punctuated her sentence with a kiss to her brother’s forehead. He smiled at her and gave her a hug, “I love you, Mabes. You’re the best.”

“I know. And you’re right. I am the best. I should run for president!”

Dipper laughed, patting her face, “Just don’t be like that Quentin Trembly guy down the street.”

The twins laughed together as they separated to get ready for the day. Dipper took a quick shower- which totally wasn’t a cold one because he’s not fucking gay- after which he went to his room. He thought about just not going to school that day, but his grunkle wouldn’t give him his inheritance if he didn’t graduate, so he pulled on his uniform. He grabbed his school books off of his desk, glancing at the note again. After another moment of thought, he stuffed it into his pocket and left for school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fucking Peanuts. That’s what ended Bills beauty sleep. Well if you count sleeping until 1 in the fucking afternoon. After getting back to his house half an hour later from that Richie’s home. Bill took the time to sleep and endure his hangover. He wasn’t a morning person anyway. He sat up with a groan, “I swear to freakin’ triangles, if those are actual peanuts, I will cut your dick off.”

“Don’t have one, ya freak,” Pyronica said. Bill opened his eyes to glare at her, “Then I’ll murder you in cold blood if I have a reaction.”

Pyronica laughed and pointed at the bathroom, “Then I suggest you go take a shower or you’ll lose your pyrotechnic.”

The blonde groaned and made a mad dash to the bathroom. He heard Pyronica’s shrieks of laughter as he jumped in the shower and turned the hot water knob. Or what he thought was the hot water knob. He squeaked loudly when the ice cold water hit his face. But, he stayed under until he was certain that he wouldn’t have a bad reaction. Bill stepped out of the bathroom, sopping wet. His female friend handed him a towel without looking up from her phone, “Hope you enjoyed your shower. One of the Eyeballs spotted a Richie boy carrying a card with your number on it. Know anything about it?”

Bill smirked and started rubbing his hair, “His name is Dipper. I crawled into his bedroom last night while I was hiding out from the cops. He’s actually pretty cute, so I thought maybe I could get a taste of the forbidden fruit.”

Pyronica stopped texting and looked up at the blonde as she raised an eyebrow, “You gave a richie your number? That’s not like you Bill.” Pyronica clicked her tongue as she turned and left the bathroom taking a look at her phone as she finished the rest of the text.

“What? It’s something new, better than giving another one of us my number.” Bill pointed out as he followed after.

“Well I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just not like you. You usually just give someone either a fake number or if you’ve known them for a long time.” Pyronica sat down as she looked up at Bill. “So, what’s special?”

“I dunno. I just felt something, ya know?”

“Not really. God, you’re so gay.”

Bill laughed, “Yeah, I know. Now, if you don’t wanna see my schlong, I suggest getting out of my room.”

“Of course. You’re gonna be at the thing downtown today, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll see ya there. Out,” he said. Pyronica bowed mockingly and left the room. The blond man shed the flannel, tossing it in the corner of the room. After pulling on a new shirt and pair of pants, he looked at it.

“So, you are thinking about me. That’s hilarious. Talk to ya soon, Pinetree.”

Bill grabbed a tie and exited stage right.