#BRO I DO NOT HAVE HALF THE NEED REQUIREMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bordonfreeman]

Bro i put "working for a youtuber" on my resume on indeed and now i am plagued by emails about graphic design jobs that are full time only and require a bachelor's and 5 years in cad and adobe suite [i literally just graduated high-school]

[kuiinncedes]

bro why am i doing data science

[fingertipsmp3]

What I really don’t get is job interviewers who make it clear that they don’t want you or don’t think you could do the job well, and when you try to defend yourself they come up with weird fucking contradictions. Like. Why the fuck are you even bothering to interview me at this point. Genuinely why waste your time. I know you’re getting paid to waste this half hour with me instead of doing your actual job, but still

[seth-whumps]

I MADE A WHUMP EVENT: get ready for July folks

welcome to the Whumperless Whump Event of July! for your sickfic, situational, and completely apersonal whump needs--comfort included, of course. follow @whumperless-whump-event for more information and details!

Image transcripts, tagging rules, and guidelines under the cut!

RULES

Any and all art types allowed (GIFs, drawings, music, writing, etc.)

No AI generated content allowed

OCs and Fandom works alike are welcome :)

Trigger and content tags required, even if the prompt explicitly requires the content (eg. Vomiting still needs the emetophobia tag)

NSFT and NSFW are allowed, if tagged appropriately. This blog will not reblog them, as minors do follow it. However, you're still free to write as you please :)

If enough interest is shown, I will make an Ao3 collection (edit: ao3 collection is made and can be found here)

Side note: please let me know if there's anything I can do to make this post or event more accessible. Should I put the image transcripts on the ID too? Is the formatting causing issues? What can I do?

This is not a contest, just an event. The only awards will be announcements for people who completed the whole darn thing. My entries will not receive any announcements or awards, because I'm hosting

TAGGING

Tag with, per example: #whumperless whump event day 1; #whumperless whump event; and (optional) #whumperless whump event day 1: alcohol as a sanitizer

Tag @whumperless-whump-event please! If not, I may not see it or be able to reblog it!

If desired, tag the medium you used

Trigger tag and content warn (including nsfw/nsft)

If posting early, tag with #wwe early entry. If posting late, tag with #wwe late entry. If posting just for fun, no need to tag these!

IMPORTANT:

There are NO OTHER RULES. Do one prompt! Do seven! Do 'em all! Repeat the same prompt six days in a row! Switch them around and do them all out of order! Post them eight months after the event is over! Finish the prompt list early! Write one long-ass story that deals with every prompt or do a one-sentence drabble for each one! Recommend your favorite scenes regarding the prompt! Write, draw, sing, play music, make playlists, do fic recs or show recs or episode recs or book recs, fucking crochet or something! FOLLOW THE VIBE. DO WHAT'S FUN.

Prompts (text):

Emergency First Aid: Self-done stitches / Alcohol as sanitizer / “It's just a scratch, I've had worse.”

Does your insurance cover this?: Car accident / Bystander caretaker / “Eyes open, ambulance is almost here.”

Like a record, baby: Vertigo / Struggling to stand / “Is the room spinning, or is it just me?”

It's every day bro: Chronic pain / Massage / “I'm used to it.”

Stealing my breath (give it back): Wheezing / Light-headed / “I'll count, you just breathe.”

Summer is a curse: Heat Stroke / Panting / “Why don't we… find some shade, quick?”

Accidental Cryotherapy: Falling through a frozen lake / Hypothermia / “Hey, c'mon, you gotta stay awake.”

Put your head on my shoulder: Migraine / Light & Sound Sensitivity / “I can close the curtains…”

White and red handkerchief: Coughing up blood / Can't speak / “You just can't shake that cough, can you?”

Your work is never finished: Forced to work while ill / Workplace emergency / “...sit down, I'm calling HR.”

A minor annoyance: Stuffy nose / Hate to be sick / “I'm fine, I can work.”

It's going down (I'm yelling timber): Building collapse / Trapped under rubble / “I can't move my legs.”

It's just a pebble: Avalanche / Stuck in the mountains / “Well, this wasn't how I thought the hiking trip would go.”

Lay down your sword: Fighting back a cold / Cuddling / “Just let yourself be sick so you can get better.”

I'm going down (you're yelling timber): Passing out / Exhaustion / “I've got you, let's sit down, I've got you.”

Say goodbye to filters: Half-conscious / Delirious / “You would never say that in your right mind…”

In hot water: Dangerously high fever / Cool baths / “We have to get that number down somehow.”

I don't see it: Hallucinations / Fever dreams / “It's just a nightmare. You're safe.”

The whump morning after: Tending to injuries / Domestic hurt comfort / “Let's check the bandages, okay?”

It's not fun if you're panicking: Stuck in an elevator / Claustrophobia / “Get me out.”

Where's the exit: Lost / Stuck in the wilderness / “Surely someone will notice we're gone.”

Better out than in: Nervous Stomach / Vomiting / “I got your hair, it's fine.”

Well, that doesn't taste right: Accidentally poisoned / Allergic reaction / “My tongue feels like bees, is that normal?”

Be one with the fish: Drowning / Rescue Breaths / “Why did you think that was a good idea?!”

We didn't start the fire: Severe burns / Running into flames / “I know it hurts. Breathe.”

That's no barn spider: Venomous bite / Arachnophobia / “You'll be okay, we can help.”

What's your name again?: Concussion / Temporary Amnesia / “I don't remember what happened to me.”

Nothing behind the eyes: Fully unconscious / Force feeding / “It's just me, go back to sleep.”

Wrong place, wrong time: Robbery / One of many hostages / “Stay behind me, I can take a hit.”

I don't mean to get emotional: Fear / Breaking point / “I can't stop crying, I'm sorry--”

Only way out is through: Tunnel collapse / Accidental Journey / “We can't just sit here and wait.”

ALTERNATES:

Seizure

Choking

Withdrawal

Mugged

Wild animal attack

Hangover

Strain/sprain

Broken bone

Bloody nose

Panic attack

[cheesesoda]

Shut Up & Drive

matt sturniolo x mechanic!reader

a/n: i know nothing about cars yall so i’m sorry to the car bros if i get something wrong

genre: fluff

summary: when matt needs to take the car into the shop, he meets a cute mechanic who fixes his car.

cw: language

—————————————————————————-

OIL CHANGE REQUIRED. matt groaned audibly as he saw the notification on the car. “what?” nick asked from the backseat. “i need to get the oil changed for the car.” matt sighs. he was not a fan of taking his car into the shop (but who is?). “cant you do that at home or whatever?” chris said. “no, i’ll have to take it into the shop.” matt retorted. “oh, ok, so do that.” chris brushes him off. since matt was the only one who could drive, he was obviously always the one to take care of the car too. “i’ll do it tomorrow, i guess.” matt grumbles.

the next day, matt drove to the mechanic to get the oil changed for the car. when he arrived at the shop, it appeared to just be a big open garage with cars parked all around. the sounds of buzzing and car doors opening and closing was overwhelming. as he was trying to look for someone who worked there, he spotted somebody underneath a car, fiddling around with something on the bottom. “shit!” the person exclaims before sliding out from beneath the car, shaking her hand in pain.

matt couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. she wore a baggy f/c jumpsuit with the top half unzipped and wrapped around her waist, a black tank top on the upper half of her body. safety goggles were propped on top of her head but she didn’t seem to use them. her h/l h/c hair was pulled into a ponytail. a few tattoos decorated her left arm.

“mother fucker-“ she cuts herself off when she sees matt. “oh, hi! i, uh, didn’t see you there.” she chuckles. “are you ok?” matt asks, looking at her finger that she’s clutching in her hand. “wh- oh! this? i’m fine, it’s just a tiny cut.” she dismisses it. “i’m y/n, what do you need help with?” she holds out her hand for matt to shake and he does. “i’m matt. my car needs an oil change.” he explains. “lead the way, matt.” she grinned.

as she was working on his car, he couldn’t help but admire her. “so how old are you? usually it’s older people bringing their cars in because kids just have their parents bring it in.” y/n asks, still focused on the car. “i’m 20. how about you?” he replies. “no way! me too!” she exclaims as if she’s never found someone the same age as her. the conversation continues smoothly and matt can’t help but like her more and more by the minute. turns out they actually had a lot in common. he was fighting the urge to ask for her number or something, but he didn’t want to make things weird or uncomfortable and assumed her friendliness was just her customer service attitude.

y/n finishes the oil change and the two of them head over to the register. “alright, that’ll be $80.” y/n says when she rings him up. he swipes his card and thanks her. she waves goodbye to him as he walks to his car, seemingly contemplating something. as soon as he enters the car and turns on the engine, she runs over to him.

“are you free tomorrow night? wait- i should ask if you’re single—are you single?” she blurts out when she leans into his window. “um, yeah- yes, i’m single. and also free tomorrow night.” he awkwardly chuckles. “great! do you maybe wanna get dinner tomorrow?” she asks, suddenly a little shy. “yes, of course! i mean, where should i pick you up?” he can’t help but smile. “here’s my number and my address.” she writes on a small piece of paper and gives it to him. “i’ll see you tomorrow then?” he confirms. “yep! see ya, matt!” she grins and quickly kisses him on the cheek before jogging back to the shop. going to the shop wasn’t so bad this time.

[octuscle]

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

There are holidays that I'm convinced the world doesn't need… St. Patrick's Day, for example. I think it's perfectly fine to be proud of your heritage. I mean, I have an Italian grandmother. I'm totally proud of that. She makes the best pasta in the world. Hehehe, if you look at my belly, you can tell.

You see St. Patrick's Day parades on every channel. It's pure brainwashing! I look at my stomach again… Maybe I'll use the day to do something for my fitness. The streets are full of happy people. Intrusively cheerful people with funny green hats.

The guy at reception is wearing a green T-shirt. And has a shamrock painted on his cheek. I could puke. "Hi mate, nice to see you. Not much going on today. But we'd like to take a few pictures for social media later. Something along the lines of today-we've-trained-in-green. Would you wear this tank top for training?" He holds something green out to me. Fortunately without a shamrock or a funny gnome. It looks like a rugby jersey. Maybe a little big. I smile painfully. "Mate, give yourself a jolt! I'll give you a protein flat rate and free training for three months!" You don't care about the protein flat rate. But free training for three months… You'll save a good 150 dollars. Then it won't be so bad that you come here so rarely.

"Come on, give it to me!" you say and give him a fist bump. Fist bump? What's wrong with you today? All right… Put on your jersey, half an hour on the cross trainer, then maybe a bit of chest training. And then that should be it. And if you absolutely have to post pictures of it. You go to the changing area. Yawning emptiness. Exactly to your taste, actually! You undress, put on the sweatpants and then the jersey. You take a quick look in the mirror. An overweight quarter-Italian in a green rugby jersey. You doubt that this will bring the gym even one new follower, let alone a customer.

You usually start on the cross trainer with low resistance. Today you can try something new. It's empty, no one is watching, you can't embarrass yourself. So you go to the rowing machine. You have no experience with that. So you hit the maximum resistance. And off you go! After half an hour, you wipe the sweat from your forehead. Your jersey sticks to your chest, soaked with sweat. The gym employee stands in front of you with a grin. "Bro, those were some really awesome shots! What are you up to now?" You grumble that rowing is a good base for lat training. And that you're currently doing antagonist training. So combine it with chest training. "Nice, that should make for great pictures." You don't give a damn that the camera is following you the whole time. Focus on the training. And finally, no consideration for others. Moan and grunt when you feel like it. And today you're lifting the heavy weights. That requires a loud scream or two.

Shit, you've been here for almost three hours. You're done. You shout to your gym's social media representative that it's time for the final show. You take off your slightly too tight jersey with some difficulty. And wring out the sweat. You smile at the camera and say "Happy St. Patrick's Day, bros! Stay focused and train hard!" Your buddy gives you a fist bump and says it was a lot of fun with you again. You hand him your cell phone and ask him for a photo. For your own account.

Caption: "Is as Éirinn a thagann fir réadúla i gcónaí! Buailigí, a chairde, agus go raibh Lá Fhéile Pádraig iontach agaibh!"

[babyhatesreality]

what if someone else tries to discipline stucky's babygirl?🥹🥹 like, some random dude who considers himself a daddy got mad for something she did?? i think daddy stucky would absoluty go ✨bersek✨

Oh....*Berserk* is putting it mildly....

But let's back up a bit first. You've been with Steve and Bucky long enough that you're truly and deeply one of the family. And with that, it means that you and your friends have gotten into plenty of trouble before at each other's places. You've been put in time outs by several of your extended family members- mostly Tony, Pepper, Natasha, and Bruce. There's a rule in the tower that if you're little and misbehaving while in their care, anyone in the family is allowed to give a time out. Of course it means you're in big trouble when your primary caregivers find out, so you don't ever MEAN to get into mischief. It just ...sometimes ...happens! Right?? :D

But there was this one time that SHIELD was introducing a group of new operatives. They were the ones who would be running some of the simpler operations that didn't require super strength, stealth, or swag. But they would have access to and contact with the Avengers, and so were brought into the Tower for training.

There was this one new recruit named Kenneth. He was tall, had a firm jaw, strong enough to handle pretty much anything- and had an extremely overblown sense of his own worth. He had decided (without asking anyone or confirming anything) that he was on his way to becoming the first civilian Avenger simply because...he was that awesome. Which he was not, but that comes later.

Since this new operatives team would also be responsible for looking out for low level threats to the Avengers themselves, they were briefed on all the Littles and Caregivers in the tower. So if, God forbid, something happened, they knew the chain of command to help take care of the Littles in a crisis situation- mostly getting the Littles to the correct Avenger.

Welp, as with most other things, Kenneth didn't feel these rules applied to him either. He knew that if he were ever to encounter one of you "littles" (as he put it, complete with his own stupid air quotes and a dumb look on his face), he'd make sure that he'd show his authority, and that would prove he could be an Avenger. *Sidenote-it's funny how these dude-bros' egos work, isn't it?*

One day Daddy and Papa had brought you upstairs with them, as had the rest of the caregivers with their own littles. It was an easy half day, and barring anything suddenly popping up, there was just regular paperwork and classified debriefings to meet about- a safe day for you all to be up there. The other littles were playing a game of tag in the big rec room, but you were feeling a little cranky from a rough night and just wanted to be on your daddies' laps. You would hop down off Bucky's lap ten minutes into a meeting to climb onto Steve's, and then back again ten minutes later. Hey, you were happy, they were happy, it was all good.

You politely asked if you could go get a drink of water, and after insisting that you could be a big girl by yourself, Bucky let you go down the hall to the kitchen area. And that's where you ran into Kenneth, who was sneaking up to the meeting, trying to make up some excuse as to why he needed to be in this Avengers-only debriefing (he was pretty sure they weren't even going to question his right to be there, but it was always good to have a plan B, right?).

He immediately identified you, and stopped you in the hallway by grabbing you by the shoulder (wrong move #1). "And where do you think you're going, little girl?" he asked you snidely (wrong move #2). You immediately stepped back, trying to get yourself out of his grip. You didn't know this guy, and you weren't supposed to talk to strangers. And no one was allowed to touch you without your permission. Daddy and Papa taught you well.

But Kenneth took that as defiance before you even opened your mouth, tightening his grip on your arm (wrong move #3...you get the idea). "You are not supposed to be wandering the halls by yourself, are you?" he sneered. "Some caregivers, just letting a helpless little girl wander around unguarded." He leaned into your face. "Someone could get hurt."

That scared you, as it sounded very threatening, so you shook your arm again, trying to pull away. "Please let go," you said through gritted teeth, trying to be polite (he was in the Tower after all, and no one got in without SHIELD's permission), but really wanting to kick this guy in his private area. Instead, Kenneth yanked your arm so hard that you cried out, and started dragging you towards the meeting room. He shoved you down onto your bottom right outside the doorway, then pointed a finger at you.

"You stay right there, little missy, and don't even think about moving. You've been very bad and you're in big trouble," he scolded, unwarranted. You just glared at him but didn't move. He didn't even bother knocking on the door to the meeting room- he just barged in.

"Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes? I've got something that you both need to see, immediately," he said arrogantly.

You heard the shuffle and scramble of your daddies moving quickly, and you knew they were panicking about you. But the second they got out of the doorway and saw you cowering on the floor with a glower on your face, they both stopped, confused.

"Baby, are you okay?" Bucky asked frantically, dropping to his knees and reaching out to you. You threw yourself into his arms, relieved.

"What happened? Why was she sitting on the floor?" Steve asked as he got down next to you and Bucky, brushing your hair away from your face and scanning you as hard as he could, looking for injuries.

"She was wandering around the halls, unsupervised," Kenneth replied lightly, the arrogance dripping off of him. "Then she was defiant and disobedient when I tried to help her."

" 'Tried to help her'?" Steve repeated, slowly standing up to face Kenneth. Anyone with half a brain could hear the steel in his voice and see the rage in his posture. Even Kenneth turned a bit pale at the fury he'd unknowingly invoked. "What...exactly...did she need help with?"

"Well, er...um..she wasn't supposed to be in the hallways-"

"She had permission to be there," Steve interrupted him. The aura of controlled anger about to snap that was radiating off your Papa was something to behold- you'd never seen him like this before and it was AWESOME. "She was getting a drink from the kitchen." He turned to you, smiling softly, but his vibranium-infused posture didn't change one bit. "Lovebug, were you able to get your drink?"

"No, Papa," you said simply.

"I see," he said, turning back to Kenneth as his gaze turned back to razor blades. "So you kept my baby from getting a drink when she's thirsty, you stopped her without permission and tried to get her to disobey OUR directives, and you barged into a classified meeting." He pinned the now completely pale Kenneth to the wall with only his clear cut steel blue gaze. "Anything else, baby girl?" he asked you without turning his head.

"He touched me," you added, then turned your gaze to Bucky, who was still holding you. "And it hurt my arm."

Bucky set you down gently, then stood up and faced Kenneth.

Kenneth was only able to remember three things from that moment until he woke up in the hospital. The first being the insanely loud thundering of crumbling concrete mixed with a strange whooshing sound that he couldn't immediately identify. There was also a cracking and a crunching that seemed to be coming from inside of him, but that didn't make any sense either...

The second thing was the fact that he was no longer in the hallway- he seemed to have somehow transported to another area that he was pretty sure was about three rooms away from where he'd just been standing.

The third thing was the sudden and overwhelming pain screaming all over his body. He had just enough time to realize that the Winter Soldier had thrown him through 3 solid walls before he blacked out.

When he woke up in the hospital, among the machines and IVs, he found a small cardboard box with all his desk items in it.

[crazyunsexycool]

A love as sweet as honey

Chapter 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 4.1K

Warnings: Some fluff I guess, angst, Steve being 🙁, reader's family.

A/N: So here we go with chapter 1 for this series. So this is set three months after the semi ending of My little love so I'm keeping some aspects of that series that are mentioned in this chapter vague. We are going straight into Honey's family and they are the worst. I kind of wanted to show the difference in Steve and Honey's worlds. I really hope you like it. Also kind of nervous for this chapter...

If you're reading this or come across my series for the first time, I do recommend reading My Little Love first because characters from that series will play a big roll in this one.

Series Masterlist

You glared at the messages popping up on your phone. It was bad enough that both Bruce and Tony forced you out of your lab in order for you to get some rest, now you had to evade your family. They had persistently called and messaged you about the weekly family dinners. The thing was you hated those gatherings. It was just your father, your two older brothers and their wives. Even though you were family you had nothing in common with them, so having to endure their company for an evening was dreadful. It wasn’t like they liked you anyway so you didn’t understand why your presence was required. You much preferred to be in your lab working on one project or another. Watching paint dry was preferable to Sunday night dinner with those snakes. 

“I hope you don’t glare at my messages like that.” Steve’s voice broke you out of your thoughts but you still scowled in his direction. He just chuckled in response.

Steve looked so handsome as he made his way towards you. His golden blond hair was slightly disheveled and his workout clothes fit him perfectly. You’d never let on that you were attracted to him. It still baffles you that he willingly hangs out with you even when you don’t make it easy to be your friend. Although it’s mostly during work hours, which is almost always, or the few parties you’d been dragged to. His presence is soothing and it bothers you that he can ease you out of your bad moods without much resistance.

“Depends on what you messaged me about.” You watched as he took a seat on the bench next to you. “Did the science bros send you?” 

“Science bros?”

“Yeah, Stark and Banner. They kicked me out of my lab. Said I needed to rest.” 

“Can you blame them? Especially after that whole issue with Lottie forcing half the medbay staff to come to your aid because she saw you unconscious in a vision?”

“I just fell asleep.” You grumbled as you turned to watch other employees go about their day. Thinking back on it, the situation was now slightly funny. Although poor Charlotte was incredibly worried about you. 

“Yeah well, everyone needs to rest.” 

You give Steve a sideways glance and frown. “Remember this conversation when you go on back to back missions.” 

Steve gives you a lopsided grin. It made you swoon which forced you to be very self conscious of your staring.

“What are you still doing here anyway?” 

“I’m resting.” 

Steve bent forward and turned his head to get a better look at you when you turned away from him. His eyes squinted in suspicion but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. It was overwhelming to have all of his attention sometimes. To have anyone’s attention on you at all made you uncomfortable but to have Steve was something else. He always managed to make you feel something other than annoyed. You were baffled by how easily he did that. 

“Stop staring you weirdo.” You mumbled. Steve chuckles but doesn’t take his eyes off you. 

“You don’t really believe you’ll get away with trying to go back up to your lab when you didn’t go home to rest, do you?” 

You sigh and your shoulders slump. Steve’s eyes drift down to your pouting lips and for a second he thinks he could kiss that pout away. That’s how it had been since he met you. The attraction was almost immediate and you seemed to always have a pout on those pretty lips of yours.

“I’m just so tired. I don’t want to drive.” 

“I could take you if you’d like.” 

“No,” you shake your head. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.” 

“I’m offering. But if you don’t like that then you should really reconsider taking one of the empty apartments.” 

He’s right. Some of the apartments have been empty for a while and one had even been offered to you. You just weren’t sure how you felt about living in the compound. 

“Just imagine, you maybe can’t sleep and you get an idea. You don't have to wait until the next day to come in. All you have to do is walk across the building and you’re at work.” Steve offers. 

“Enticing but also I like to separate my personal life from my work life.” 

Steve shrugs and gets up. “Still, think about it. I have to go but text me when you get home so that I know you’re safe.” 

“You care too much.” 

“Can’t blame a guy for caring for his friends.” He says before starting to walk away.

“Wait, we’re friends? I didn’t agree to that.” You joke. 

Steve turns around and walks backwards and raises an eyebrow in your direction. You give a small smile in return. 

“Go home.” 

You roll your eyes in response before he waves and walks away to do whatever it is he did. With a sigh you get up and head to your car. There was no way you’d even be able to get into your office so you actually went home. 

Steve had an open invitation into the Barnes home. He was there all the time. His best friends’ home had warmth and laughter and love. It was all of the things he craved. 

When he was first woken up from the ice and realized that he was no longer in the 1940s, Steve decided that the man that wanted a family and love died the day the plane went down. Instead he found solace in fighting alongside the Avengers and his friendships. He was closest to Mrs. Barnes or how he affectionately called her, Magnet. They’d been working side by side since he’d moved to D.C. their friendship bloomed and now they were more like siblings.

 The only thing Steve envied was his best friends’ relationship. From his point of view they had everything, all more than well deserved of course. He was more than happy that after being tortured and used by Hydra, Bucky was able to find happiness even when he found out he had children. Steve wanted that. He wanted his kids to grow up with the Barnes kids and that they be best friends the way he and Bucky were growing up. He never voiced it of course but Mrs. B could read him like a book. So when he walked into the always busy house he knew he’d be asked something.

“What’s wrong?” Mrs. B asked the minute she looked up at him. She was rocking the youngest Barnes in her arms. The newest addition to the family and only three months old.

“Nothings wrong.” 

“Steve-“ 

“Steebie.” Charlotte ran out from the playroom down the hall and straight into Steve’s arms. 

“Here’s my best girl.” Steve soaked up all of the love Bucky’s daughter gave him. “How are you sweetheart?” 

“I’m good. Do you wanna play tea pawty?” 

“I would love to. I’ll be there in a minute, ok?” Steve sets Charlotte on the floor and she runs back as she yells that she’ll get the party ready. 

“Steve? Are you sure you’re ok?” 

“I’m fine Magnet.” 

She gives him a sympathetic look. Steve knew that she knew what he was feeling. They’d have long conversations about the thoughts of having families and falling in love. Those conversations seemed so long ago. They were both different people now. Still at its core their friendship remains the same, just like with Bucky. 

“Saw you talking to Y/N earlier.” Bucky says as he walks in from the door that leads to the garage. “You have to ask her out.” 

“Why would I ask her out?”

Steve’s best friends look at each other as if they knew some big secret. Well they did although it wasn’t a secret but something Steve was refusing to acknowledge. 

“Because you like her.” Mrs. B says.

“It’s so obvious that you do.” 

“She’s a friend.” Steve defends himself. 

“I used to look at Sugar that way. Still do.” 

“Aaww baby. That’s so cute.” 

Bucky sends a wink in his wife’s direction. It was so cute it made Steve sick sometimes. Again he was happy for them but he wanted that too. Steve was ashamed of the envy he felt sometimes.

“That would be like me asking you out, Magnet.” 

“Eeww.” She scrunched her face and Steve was taken aback by the instant reaction. Then she laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just I see you as family so the thought of dating you is weird.” 

“Exactly my point. Asking her out would be like that for me.” 

Bucky looked at Steve with disbelief. “I know you’re stubborn but this is a whole different level.” 

“Give him a break baby. It’s not like you asked me out when you realized you liked me.” 

Bucky had sat down by his wife and took their youngest child in his arms. He smiled and cooed at his baby before looking up at Steve. 

“Just think about it and once you admit that you like her, ask her out.” Bucky said and Mrs. B nodded in agreement. 

“Steebie, tea pawty is weady.” 

“If you’ll excuse me, I have a very important tea party to attend.” 

“Are you staying for dinner?” His best friend asked over her shoulder. 

“If it’s not too much trouble.” 

“Never.” 

**** 

Lottie poured nonexistent tea into Steve’s plastic teacup. She had immediately draped him with fake jewelry, clip on earrings and placed a plastic crown on his head. Steve then sat on the floor at the table the kids had in their playroom. Henry had been playing with legos in the corner and started giggling at the sight before him. He stopped laughing when a plastic tiara was placed on his head and he had to sit at the table too. Across from Henry sat a Lottie’s beloved pink teddy bear.

“So then the ogre tries to stomp on all of the King’s knights.” Steve was telling the kids about the last mission he’d been on. He made it seem like a fairytale though and the kids were hooked. 

“Oh no.” Lottie whispered. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart. The king’s knights were ready and they had a dragon.”

“What? No way.” Henry exclaimed, hanging on every word. 

“Yes way. The dragon came down from the sky and with his magic powers and BOOM! The ogre didn’t stand a chance.” 

Lottie has a hand on her chest while pretending to sip tea. Henry resting his head on his hand while waiting for Steve to continue. 

“All of the other knights joined the dragon in fighting the ogre’s henchmen. When they finally finished they got the treasure and that treasure helped a lot of village people.” Steve finishes. 

“I wanna be a dragon when I grow up so that I can help people.” 

“Yeah me too.” Lottie agrees with her brother. 

“Dinner’s ready.” 

“Alright, you heard your mom let’s go wash up.” Steve says as he gets up and starts taking all of the accessories off.

“Steebie will you sit with me?” 

“Of course I will, sweetheart.” Steve grabs Lottie and throws her over his shoulder before he reaches for Henry and does the same. They’re both laughing and kicking. “But first we wash our hands.” 

Steve can’t help but smile. The ache that sits heavy in his chest from wanting this life dulls while he sits amongst his friends. Their conversation distracts him from the loneliness he’ll find once he goes back to his apartment.

You’d gone straight to bed once you’d made it home. There was nothing else for you to really do so taking a nap seemed the best option. You’d taken off everything but your panties and plopped down right in the middle of the bed. Tony and Bruce had been right. You did need to sleep, you’d never admit it to them though. Just as you were drifting off to dreamland, obnoxious knocking pulled you away. You grabbed the robe that had been hanging over unpacked boxes and put it on, tying it while walking to your door. 

You’d never bothered unpacking because you move so much. So you zigzagged through all of the boxes holding your personal things in order to get to the front door. Before opening the door you looked through the peephole and froze at the sight of who was at the other side. But that feeling of dread turned into anger as you yanked the door open, startling the three women on the other side. 

“What?” You snapped, your tone harsh and unwelcoming. 

The last thing you were expecting was to see your stepmother and sisters-in-law at your apartment. Especially since you never gave them your address. Your stepmother being front and center schooled her expression first. 

“Now is that anyway to answer the door? I’ve taught you better than that.” She admonishes. 

Rose came into your life when you were a baby. She’s the only maternal figure you’d ever known. You hated her. She was your father’s lapdog and a snitch. The moment you were able to leave his house you did. You tried to be around them as little as possible. Somehow they always managed to drag you back in.

You sisters-in-law were no better. Elizabeth was married to your older brother Richard. Alice was married to your younger brother Charles. They were the picture perfect family. The men ran the family and the women well, they did as they were told. They were the perfect stepford wives and then there was you. 

In their eyes you were the rebellious middle child. The one who they said couldn’t just sit down and do as you were told. You just had to question everything and fight back. It didn’t matter that at 18 you left your father’s home and never lived there again. He wanted to control you because he had an image to maintain. And if he had someone track you down that meant he needed something.

“Well aren’t you going to invite us in?” Rose asked as she tried to look over your shoulder. The only thing she could see was the hallway.

“No. Because I didn’t invite you. As a matter of fact I never even gave any of you my address so I don’t know why you’re here.” 

“We’ve called and texted you multiple times and you haven’t answered..” Alice said. “We were worried.”

“No you weren’t. Besides I have nothing to say to any of you. If I wanted to have any sort of relationship with you I’d answer. There’s nothing for you to worry about.” 

“Y/N please, we are only doing what’s best for our family and that’s keeping everyone together.” Elizabeth adds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“So what does Conrad want now?” 

“Your father,” Rose says. “Would very much love it if you joined us for dinner tonight.” 

“I don’t give two shits about what he would love. Who is he trying to impress?” 

Rose huffs, annoyance creeping into her normally well composed face. You loved riling her up. 

“It’s not about who he’s trying to impress, we haven’t seen you in a while. We’d like to catch up.” 

“And we would be catching up in whose presence?” You push for information. 

“A possible investor in his business.” 

“Mmm.” You nod slowly. 

“So you’ll come?” 

“Nope.” 

“I wasn’t giving you a choice. We’ll stand out here until you’re ready.” 

“I’ll call the cops on you if you don’t leave.” 

You saw the flash of red hot anger flash in Rose’s dark brown eyes. She placed her hand on the door and leaned in to be as close to your face as possible. 

“Remember what happened the last time you tried that.” The threat was there and it all but crumbled the bit of resistance you had against them. 

You blinked back tears as memories rushed to the forefront of your mind. Suddenly you weren’t the person you’d worked so hard to become, you were the little girl that had been neglected her whole life. And that little girl did as she was told if she knew what was good for her. 

“I’ll give you thirty minutes. We’ll wait out here.” Rose had straightened her posture and fell back into the loving wife and mother character she’d perfectly crafted.

You sat quietly in the dining room of the family home. Conrad Bramford, your father, sat at the head of the table. Rose was to his right, your older brother and his wife to his left. That left Charles your younger brother sitting next to his mother and his wife next to you. At the other end of the table, and closest to you, was the investor your father was trying to impress Ezekiel Stane.

“I’m so glad you decided to come.” Alice leaned in and whispered. 

“I didn’t decide, I was forced too. Why do you even give a shit?” 

Alice patted your forearm and smiled as if you were the best of friends and were up to no good. 

“You’re so bad.” She giggled. 

It dawned on you that she really thought you were friends or worse that you were like those families where the in-laws saw each other as actual siblings. 

“Oh you sweet summer’s child.” You murmured. 

“Come on, these dinners aren’t so bad. I mean we’re your family. It’s nice that we get to spend time together.”

“Alice, I’m going to be very clear because you seem like a nice person. I hate every single person sitting at this table.” 

Her smile drops just a little. “But you don’t know me or Elizabeth.” She mumbles. “You should give us a chance.” 

“You’re married to my brother, that’s all I need to know. Besides you've only been married what, a few months?” 

She nods.

“Maybe we can get together on your wedding anniversary and you can tell me how much you still love this family.” You give her a tight lipped smile. 

“Well on our anniversary we’ll be celebrating but I’ll still accept that invitation to talk.” Alice smiles again. 

“So Ms. Bramford. I heard that you work in the science field. How is that working out for you?” Ezekiel asked, pulling your attention away from Alice.

He was handsome with blue eyes and chestnut colored hair. He was tall, fit but not too muscular. 

“It’s great. I really love what I do.” 

“Which is?” 

“Research.” 

Ezekiel put on his most charming smile but it felt off putting. Although him willingly spending time with your father should have been the first sign that he wasn’t a great person. 

“What kind of research?” He asks.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss.” 

“Because she isn’t important enough to know.” Charles said, getting a laugh out of everyone at the table, except for you, Mr. Stane and surprisingly, Alice. She just gave you an apologetic look.

“Forgive us Mr. Stane, it’s just an inside joke.” Richard, your older brother, says with a chuckle. 

“Last time I checked a joke is supposed to be funny. Also might I remind you that I work outside of our father’s company so that I can have my independence. Tell me Dick, what is it that you do?” You stare at him expectantly. “Oh that’s right, you’re too busy kissing his ass to actually have a job.” 

There were gasps all around the table as you stood suddenly. The chair you had been sitting in, scraping along the floor before falling over. 

“Sit back down and apologize, you ungrateful brat.” Your father slammed a fist down on the table causing the plates, glasses and cutlery to clatter together.

“I won’t apologize, I don't want to be here in the first place. I‘ll be leaving now. Let’s do this again, never.” You say and start heading toward the living room where your purse was.

You fiddled with your pearl necklace as you raced through the hallway. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. 

“Well I don’t remember seeing anyone as pretty as you in a long time.” The deep voice froze you in place just as you reached the living room. 

You turn around to find Rose’s brother at the drink cart. His eyes rake your body and you shudder. You turn and grab your belongings and quickly turn towards the door.

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving so soon? I was hoping we could catch up. You can tell me where you’ve been hiding.”

“Eat dirt and die, asshole.” You say before exiting into the hallway. 

You’d made it to the door just as your father stepped into the hallway. He called your name and a few other choice words but you were already running down the steps towards your car. You managed to lock yourself in and speed away to be as far from this place as possible before he could get to you.

Your phone had been buzzing nonstop from everyone in your family trying to call or text you. It got to the point that you had to shut it off because it was too much. When you finally make it home you take a shower to hopefully rid yourself of the crawling sensation you get from being back at the family home. 

After a lot of pacing and debating you send an email to Tony and wait. It takes about a minute but you get an answer. Even though it was around three in the morning. Now you can breathe slightly easier but your whole body is thrumming with adrenaline and now it is slowly starting to calm down but your hands are shaking. You would spend the rest of the night going over everything that happened that day until you finally passed out.

Steve had checked his phone a ridiculous amount of times. He even got teased for it by his best friends. But he was genuinely worried because he never received a text from you. He was restless wondering if he should reach out to you or not. Reluctantly he opted for the latter as he opened the door to his apartment where he was met with movers. They were taking things into the apartment across from his which belonged to Bucky when he first moved into the compound. He’d forgotten that someone was moving in and that he’d finally have a neighbor again. 

“Hey Rogers.” You said quietly as you made your way from down the hallway where the elevators were. 

“Hey Y/L/N. What are you doing here so early? And in the residential area. I thought you hated this part of the compound.” 

Steve was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his broad chest. 

“I used to but considering this is my new place, I thought I’d have to get used to it.” 

Steve’s face lit up at the new piece of information. He even stands up straight and watches as the movers take in a few more mixes in. 

“So you’re the one Tony told me was moving in a few weeks ago.” 

You shake your head. “No, I asked him last night if the offer was still good and he said yes. Although I feel bad that the person taking this spot is being moved. I think he said it was Sharon? She was supposed to move here but she’s still out of the country for a few weeks and this apartment is ready so he let me have it.” You look up at him and then at the apartment you’d be living in. 

“Wait so this was a last minute decision but you had your things packed already?” 

“Well I was going to be moving closer to the compound anyway. I just decided that I would prefer my apartment to have security guards at the entrance.” 

Steve’s eyes narrowed at that. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?” 

You saw the muscle in his jaw tick. 

“It’s a long story and I’d rather not talk about it.” You moved toward the door of your new apartment.

“Wait, if someone did something to you I’ll help you. They shouldn’t get away with whatever they did.” 

You look at him thoughtfully for a moment. “I wish I would have met you a long time ago, Rogers. Maybe you could have saved me then.” You gave him a sad smile. “I’m gonna get settled but maybe we should have a movie night or something soon. We can even do it at my place since you know where I live now.” 

Steve smiles but you could still see the worry in his eyes. 

“I’ll let you go, Steve.” 

“I’m here for whatever you need, ok?” 

“Thanks, I’ll see you later?” 

“Absolutely, neighbor.” Steve grins. 

“Ugh, don’t make me regret it.” 

“It’ll be the best choice you ever made.” He says confidently. 

Truer words have never been spoken. You just didn’t know it yet.

Ch. 2

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[chiffon-and-spice]

RE HC's: Attachment Style, Love Languages

(Keep in mind these are literally all HC's and if you disagree, it's not cannon so don't get your dick in a twist. This is literally just how I see the characters. Most are bisexual because… it just feels fitting to me. Idk. If you don't see a character here that you'd like me to do, please let me know.)

Characters in this Post: Rebecca Chambers, Billy Coen, Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Leon Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, and Carlos Oliveira. (if you'd like a character not mentioned here done, feel free to ask <3)

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Rebecca Chambers-

Sexuality: Bi/Demi-sexual

Zodiac: Virgo

Love Language: Becca definitely expresses her love through acts of service. She may not be all that great at expressing herself through words, and being busy with work allows her little time to be close to you in person. She will do little things like fold your clothes if they're still in the dryer, make your bed, do those chores you aren't looking forward to, and so much more. She loves the idea of helping make your life a little more easier. When it comes to being shown love however, Rebecca loves words of affirmation. She thrives best when you give her hella love and reassurance. Not being good with words, she admires how freely you can talk about your feelings for her. It literally lights up her soul.

Attachment Style: Despite a lot of the struggles Rebecca has been through, she's pretty secure in herself and the relationships she gets in. Even though she struggles with her words, she's super effective at communicating her feelings when it comes to issues. Rebecca is also really good at self-reflection and will work on herself in all the places she falters, to ensure you two have the most healthy dynamic. She's super trusting of you, and does not hesitate to give out reassurance if you ask.

Billy Coen-

Sexuality: Bisexual

Zodiac: Taurus

Love Language: Billy expresses his love through physical touch. Whether it be through gentle caresses or playful pokes and punches, he lovesss touching you in any way. He can't seem to keep his hands off of you. You go out, he will kick you playfully under the table, and in the morning he's the one to cling to you and not want you to get out of bed. Morning sex is a given with him. He loves to make you feel good, and he feels best when he's touching you. When it comes to being shown love, Billy is a big fan of quality time. He doesn't care what it is you're doing, he wants to be close. You have to go to the grocery store to do some mundane task, nothing makes him more excited than you inviting him to go. He especially loves when you take time off of work or other things to be with him. Knowing you took time out of your day and your life to make room for him makes his day.

Attachment Style: Billy hasn't had the best of luck in the relationship department, especially with his past, and it makes him weary of who to trust. He's got an anxious attachment style, and while he craves love he's also terrified it isn't genuine. Billy can be super clingy at points, and sometimes struggles when you don't seem to have time for him. He needs constant reassurance, that you're for him and only him. He realizes this about himself, and always makes sure to tell you before you start dating. When given reassurance, he is the happiest boy, and he will never tire of you showing him just how much you love him.

Albert Wesker-

Sexuality: Pansexual (this is actually not a stretch as his VA played him as a queer man Link

Zodiac: Aries

Love Language: Albert expresses his love through giving gifts. Bro is not good with words and not a fan of being touched. But if he's sees something that reminds him of you, he will absolutely get it. He will shower you in gifts. You mention needing a new set of pens to take notes, he's already half-way to the store, buying the specific ball-point or gel pens you require. Working late, he's stopping by your workplace with food from your favorite place. Have a favorite show or little obession, he will buy anything for you that relates to said thing. When it comes to being given love, Albert loves acts of service. When you do things for him, it makes his life a lot easier. Especially if it's something he's not looking forward to. Nothing impresses him more than you doing something for him, when he didn't even have to ask for it.

Attachment Style: Albert 1,000% has disorganized attachment. One minute you think he's absolutely into you, and the next he is running for the hills. He's terrified of rejection, but also craves acceptance. Albert sometimes completely shuts down and doesn't talk to you about his concerns with the relationship. A lot of the time, even he doesn't know why he's being distant. It doesn't seem to matter how good you treat him, he always has anxiety about your relationship, but if you're super patient with him he can be the most tender and loving soul you can have. Often the relationship may be confusing, and Albert doesn't really talk about his feelings. Sometimes, he can even be a little aggressive and lash out, but he always apologizes and begs for you to stay.

Chris Redfield-

Sexuality: Bisexual/Demiromantic (takes bro a lot to be romantically into you)

Zodiac: Scorpio

Love Language: Chris expresses his love through acts of service, man struggles with words like Wesker and physical touch can be too much for him sometimes. But occupying himself with things to do that'll make you happy is how he loves showing you his love. He can get physical every once in awhile, but he kinda does that with a lot of people, so it isn't exactly how he expresses his love. Doing things for you also allows him to express his love for you in a way that makes him feel comfortable. Like your coffee a certain way? Chris is working his ass off to make sure you get it. When it comes to being shown love Chris surprisingly likes words of affirmation. He can't speak for himself, so when you talk about how you feel it makes him weak. He wants more than anything to be able to speak the way you do, and that's why he appreciates when you do it so well. Using your words sometimes can be a bit much for him, and makes him want to pull away, but in the long run he does find comfort in them.

Attachment Style: Chris has an avoidant attachment style. He feels like he has to go through everything on his own, and if he isn't strong enough to do it by himself then it makes him feel weak. He can seem extremely emotionally closed off at points, which makes it difficult to communicate effectively with him. He has a bit of a negative mentality, that relationships aren't necessary and he does best on his own. Good luck getting him to talk about his feelings, because this man is closed up tighter than a shell. Most of his relationships have been in the casual/one-night stand area. Chris is the first to walk off during an argument, and can definitely hold a grudge. Being patient with him is pretty rewarding however, as he apologizes after awhile. This is very hard for him, but when he cares about you, he will try to better himself.

Jill Valentine-

Sexuality: Bi/Greysexual

Zodiac: Libra

Love Language: When it comes to expressing her love, Jill loves spending time with you. She will take breaks from work, and when she works from home she will seek you out in the house. Even if it's sitting in silence, she wants to be by your side. She's very dedicated to her job, so she can't think of a better way to show you how much she cares than to distance herself from work. She loves physical touch, and nothing makes her feel more appreciated than when you touch her. Especially on the thighs or arms. It drives her wild. Underneath that badass exterior, she's a cuddly bunny. When walking around in public, and you throw your arm around her shoulders, she never feels more loved and secure. Even if she knows she can take care of herself, having you around makes her feel secure and comfortable.

Attachment Style: Despite being a bit obsessive with Umbrella, Jill has a bit more of a secure attachment style. The most issues you may have is maybe not getting her full attention at times, but she will quickly rectify it if you point it out. She's effective at communicating her wants and needs and really appreciates when her partner does the same thing. Like Rebecca, she is also kind of patient, but she won't tolerate certain behavior past a point. If she's making a big effort, she expects you to do the same. She's super understanding of your traumas and past however, and will do her best to help you. She also encourages you not to be codependent and overall just wants you both to grow as people.

Leon Kennedy-

Sexuality: Bisexual (bro fucks a ton after RE2)

Zodiac: Leo

Love Language: Leon expresses his love through physical touch. Bro is so touch starved, he gets his cuddles in any time he can. Practically clinging to you like a koala. He loves running his hands through your hair and being big spoon to you. He covers you in kisses to, if the skin is exposed, he's going for it. Big fan of hickeys to, and loves marking you in easy to see spots. He also loves recieving love this way. When you hold his hand in public, he still gets little butterflies. Pressing yourself a little more into him, when you guys are sleeping, is the hottest thing you can do for him. Practically melts from it. He loves rougher touches to. Like you running your nails down his back or biting his lips when you kiss.

Attachment Style: Leon has an anxious attachment style, and is terrified of getting close to people. Like most of the RE men it seems. 😭 Probably cause he's seen so much death. When he does start getting close, he struggles to let go. He can be suffocating at points, with how much he wants to be around you. He wants to take every second in, because he's so paranoid about it being your last together. While Leon doesn't communicate his feelings verbally, you can easily read when things are off and after a bit of work he may reluctantly open a little. He's very hard to crack. Leon is very efficient at asking about your feelings however, and will gladly hear all of your problems. Somehow, despite not knowing how to fix his only problems, he always seems to have solutions for yours.

Claire Redfield-

Sexuality: Lesbian (cry about it)

Zodiac: Aquarius

Love Language: Claire is surprisingly great with words, and loves to show it. She expresses how she loves you through words of affirmation. She will tell you she loves you every single day, and she means it with all her heart. Claire is the type of partner to send you loving paragraphs before bed, and makes sure you get a goodmorning text every morning. She leaves sticky notes everywhere to when she thinks about it, with little things she loves about you. When it comes to being shown love however, Claire really enjoys quality time. Expressing that you want to actually spend time with her whenever you can means the world to her. Growing up with Chris, who's been very busy since she was a kid, she's always valued the little time she gets to spend with her loved ones.

Attachment Style: Claire learned a lot from Chris, which made her have the exact opposite attachment style as him. Being practically raised by him and having a good relationship with him, she's pretty secure in her attachments. Even when things get rough, she's always understanding and holds out hope. Claire has always been good at being self-sufficient, so she doesn't need to be around you 24/7 or hear from you constantly. Doubts don't really get a hold of her in your relationship, and she's super easy to connect and be vulnerable with. She'll even talk about her own personal experiences just to make you feel more comfortable.

Ada Wong-

Sexuality: Bisexual

Zodiac: Gemini

Love Language: Ada never explicitly states what or how she's feeling, she's very much a woman of action. This is why she expresses her love through physical touch. Though she's not entirely clingy with it. If you're around, it could be as simple as her feet across your lap, while you watch tv. When it comes to physical touch for her, it's not the soft little gently caresses you're used to. She likes to be rough, and she will not hesitate to pounce on you. When it comes to being shown love, Ada enjoys receiving gifts. Not being given things too frequently, it means the world to her when her partners comes to her with something they bought specifically because it reminded them of her. Hell, even if it's not something she quite understands or likes, she will try to play it cool while freaking out on the inside. Despite Ada's distant exterior, she's definitely an absolute softie.

Attachment Style: Girl has got disorganized attachment style, one hundo percent. She's hot and cold with anyone she's with, and you always second guess just how she feels about you. You convince yourself that it's part of the fun, and the second you start to distance yourself as well, she's showing right back up. Ada feels undeserving of a healthy relationship, so when she gets a good thing her first instinct is to flee. Being that she isn't entirely true to herself and is always putting up a mask, it's hard for her to make genuine connections. Ada is sick of the mask however, and is so desperately ready to let it drop and be loved. Once you have her, even if it feels like you don't, you're stuck with her. She will harass you for the rest of your life, and play it off as anything but an interest in you.

Carlos Oliveira-

Sexuality: Bisexual (he came out to me in character ai, so practically cannon)

Zodiac: Saggittarius

Love Language: Carlos loves spending time with his partner. When it comes to his work, he doesn't get a lot of free time, so the best way he expresses his love by using what little he does have with you. Hell, he'd take time off just to be with you. Despite being a massive flirt, when things get serious he isn't the best at expressing himself in a way that isn't lighthearted or teasing. So instead he shows it, by dropping everything just to be around you, if you so please. During his breaks, he stops by your workplace whether it be to give you a little kiss or something more. He checks up on you with facetime calls frequently, when he's away and can't stand when work pulls him away from you. When it comes to being shown love however, Carlos very much likes things to be physical. Anyone can say words, he knows this more than anyone being the huge flirty whore (affectionately) he is, but to actually act on these things sends his heart soaring. And not just sex, though Carlos is very fond of that aspect to, he's more into the careful and intimate touches. Being hugged from behind, soft kisses along his neck, you playing with his hair, he practically folds over it.

Attachment Style: Weirdly enough, Carlos is pretty secure in his attachments, though I think he's cautious about entering a committed relationship with someone. He doesn't just feel that kind of love with anyone, and when things do go beyond flirting and hook ups, you know you've got something special with him. Carlos might not be the best with words, but he's an amazing listener and will gladly listen to whatever possible issues that may arise between you two. Even if he struggles with how to put things into words, he tries his best to open up with you as well. Carlos's work has always kept him pretty occupied, so he's never really felt too wound up about being away from his partner or having to put some healthy distance between you to. If you can work with his pretty hectic schedule, he will gladly work with you. Carlos is also a super gentle lover when no one is looking. All his rough talk and flirts are definitely for show, and the second you start getting a little bit serious with him, he gets flustered.

[loveactionsspeaklouder]

every hole is a goal

Warning: the following contains smut.

Jude was happy to finally be on vacation. It had been a long and tiring season; losing the championship on the final day was hard, having to leave the same club a couple of weeks later was even harder. He had just signed for Real Madrid and was now looking forward to celebrating with his friends in Mykonos.

“I think this could be the holiday bro,” Toby beamed. Jude turned to face him and raised one eyebrow. “You might meet the one.”

Jude rolled his eyes and chuckled. He was widely known within his friendship group for the countless women he liked to enjoy. The twenty-year-old wasn’t looking to settle down just yet. As they walked along the beach he could see the variety of talent on show, a petite blonde caught Toby and Jobe’s attention. He laughed and watched as the boys walked over to her.

“Excuse me Mr,” Jude spun his head to meet the owner of the voice. He stilled for a second, felt his heart race faster. Wow, she was beautiful. “Could you please step aside, you are blocking the sun.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. He heard her softly laugh, taking a quick drink of water. He watched her wave towards the blonde that was occupying his friends, before lying back down. “Is that your friend over there?” She nodded. “Well they are mine, can I please join you?” She nodded again.

“So, Mr sun-blocker, what’s your name?”

“Jude,” he moved his eyes up and down her body, appreciating every curve he ran over. “Yours?”

“Y/N.”

Jude nodded, licking his lips. He moved his focus back to his friends and brother, he quietly laughed at the giant smile on Jobe’s face. “Your friend seems to have my boys in a trance.”

“She likes all her holes filled,” she laughed and turned to face Jude, a smirk present. “Looks like those boys are in for a wild night.”

Jude gasped. He shook his head and glared at the flamboyant girl. “One of them is my brother!”

“Which one?”

He pointed to Jobe. She hummed, nodded her head and faced him. “Unfortunately for him, he’s getting the least best hole.”

Jude swallowed. “Which is?”

“Her mouth obviously.”

With them words he wanted, no needed, to know her order. “Which is your order?”

“Ah, not so innocent,” she smirked. “Obviously, the arse is number one. The (because we are in public I won’t be so rude) second one is the vagina and the third is the mouth.”

“Explain.”

“Well the first two give me pleasure, the third one I have to get pleasure on my own,” she shrugged. Jude took a big swallow. “Don’t get me wrong, when I do it I do get pleasure. But I’m lazy, I don’t want to have to get there myself.”

Jude was star-stuck. And hard. Painfully, excruciatingly hard. It took him a second to realise his surroundings and his choice of clothing; the little swim-shorts he was sporting were not going to cover his very public erection.

“I need your help,” he choked out. She noticed his complexion change; slight embarrassment, but majorly aroused. “The cameras can’t capture this. You did this, you can fix it.”

She chuckled, raising her head to hold his eyes. Jude gulped, fuck was she intimidating. “Which hole do you require, Jude?”

Fuck. That definitely wasn’t going to help. He didn’t think it was possible, but his cock got slightly harder. “If I wanted to appear on a porn site then I would ask you jump on my cock and ride me like the dirty girl I know you are. But I don’t. Stop making it worse and help me.”

“Babe,” she cooed, lightly stroking his abs. He was now rolled impossibly close that nobody could see her actions, the towel perfectly placed over his bottom half. “Use your words and tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me,” he huffed. He widened his eyes when he realised what he said. “No. Fuck, I mean yes that is what I want. But right now, I desperately want your hand on my cock.”

She smiled. They had only been taking for thirty minutes; but she had already loosened him up so much, he was seconds away from cumming in his pants.

She trailed her fingers down his happy trial and into his shorts, carefully pulling out his rock-hard erection. He hissed and dropped his head to her shoulders. Fuck it, he was going to have to deal with the articles about his ‘mystery woman.’ It was a lot better than the near ‘Jude with giant erection’ ones.

“You are going to pay when I finally get you alone,” he breathed. His entire body filled with pleasure as her dainty hands wrapped around his cock. She ran a thumb across his tip, collecting the drops of pre-cum. He hissed and nibbled her shoulder. “I’m not going to last long, but I promise you I will make it up to you.”

She laughed and teasingly moved her hand slowly up and down his cock, making sure to lightly squeeze the head. “Oh Jude. Once I get you alone, I’m going to give you a thorough experience of my list. But, we’ll work backwards.”

Jude sucked in a breath. He was mesmerised. He was completely lost in the moment. He couldn’t see his friends and brother move closer. He couldn’t see the other people on the beach. He definitely couldn’t see the hidden cameras. But he didn’t care. For once, he truly let go and got lost in the moment.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned. Her hand felt unbelievable. It was the perfect size, the perfect speed, the perfect grip. She was perfect. “Fuck, I think I love you.”

Shit.

Fuckity fuck.

Okay, maybe he was to lost in the moment. But she didn’t mind. She sniggered and placed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “There I was thinking you didn’t kiss on a first date. Oh no, you get your cock pleasured then you whisper you love them.”

“I… I didn’t mean that,” he gulped. Jude never froze. Not when he played for England or Dortmund. Not even when he was asked a difficult question from reporters. But right now, he rivalled a statue. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

“I’m sure you’ve had the birds and the bees explained to you,” she winked. She could feel him tighten up, his breaths getting faster and loud. She pulled his head to her shoulder to muffle the sounds. “I like it when you let go, come for me.”

And he did. Wildly. He shuck vigorously as he spurted streams and streams of cum onto her hand. Fuck, he had never cum like that before. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder to steady him, lightly scratching her fingers over his chiselled back.

“Better?” She questioned. A teasing tint in her eyes. Jude laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. He truly didn’t care about the photos now. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Jude slipped his tongue into her mouth. Yes, she was delicious. He was falling. Fuck, was that even possible? What was going on with him? “Please can we go back to your room. I need to experience these holes. I’m already hard thinking about them and I definitely can’t get caught with two erections in the space of ten minutes.”

“Oh, this is my favourite photo of us!” Jude turned his head at his fiancé’s squeal. Had he been daydreaming? Yes. Had he been caught? Oh yes. “Baby, are you thinking about the story that goes with this picture?”

He wasn’t even looking at the picture, but he knew what one she was on about. He also knew how big the smirk on her face would be. He thought he hadn’t got caught; but fortunately for the newly signed Real Madrid midfielder, he was able to spin the photo to his parents. He didn’t need a scandal in his first week at the Spanish club.

He finally looked into the bright blue eyes of his fiancé. Damn, she still took his breath away. Five years later and he still remembered that feeling he got when he first noticed her, he also remembered the amazing hand-job she gave him. He knew then he was destined to marry her.

“Never mind the story love, I still agree with your order.”

[pandoa]

rook hunt is ripped with muscles and here's why

because some of you guys don't give him enough credit and my brain is rotting; let me live

i'll get straight to the point, i've tried out archery to see what it's like in the past—learned the basics and such—and for those who have never held a bow in their life, let me tell you it gets extremely tiring after shooting for more than an hour or so. so imagine how strong you must be to be shooting bows and arrows since you were a child. that is Rook Hunt, who was practically born from the womb with an archery set in his hand /j

bows have different draw weights that affect the speed, force, and distance that is needed to shoot an arrow. typically, children use bows with a 10-pound draw weight, as young adults and adults use bows with 20 pounds or more. to put this into some sort of perspective, i remember my stamina with the 20-pound bow lasted me about half an hour until my arms began to weaken and shake with how out-of-shape i am but anyways 💀

i've heard that the typical draw weight for hunting is about 40 pounds. and assuming with how long Rook has been an archer, i can imagine that he is physically well-fit enough to exceed the 20-pound draw weight and move onto more efficient bows for hunting like the 40-pound.

think about how developed your muscles must be if you began shooting with 10-pound bows since you were just a kid, moving onto 20 pounds as you get older, and eventually using the 40-pound draw weight as you gain more strength and hunting skills. knowing with how much Rook uses his bows and arrows, it's safe to assume that he most likely hones these skills by practicing archery quite often (i can see him going out to practice at least once a day; don't quote me on that though, this is just a thought i have considering that other hobbies also require daily practice to maintain a person's skill).

there are so many muscles involved in a human body's shoulders, back, chest, and arms that you must use when drawing a bow. exercises focusing on the muscles needed for archery are often done to strengthen an archer. this is where Rook's very toned figure comes in lol.

with the numerous muscles needed to carry out his hobby on a constant basis, Rook would need a strong set of biceps and shoulder muscles to keep up with the bow's general weight and stamina for however long he goes out hunting for. bro has built up muscles, man. built up muscles.

in game, though, i will admit his body does look on the more slim and slender side. i can see why some people in the fandom don't see him as a character with buff arms, but i would like to respectfully disagree. Rook Hunt has scrumptious arm and back muscles i'd shamelessly stare at as his magic hands do whatever wonderous things they do with his bow OH AND GUYS HIS LEGS I MEAN-

ahem. anyways.

i know many in the fandom tend to bully this observant hunter—with his questionable haircut and uh huntsman habits of his—however, these targets for harmless memes cannot overshadow the fact that Rook Hunt is ripped. from head to toe, this man is most likely relatively high among the list of twst characters that are incredibly strong (with Jack trumping them all) and is probably covered in toned muscles, which he maintains with his hunting.

this isn't even me simping anymore; it's just simple logic if we all go by what we know about the Pomefiore vice housewarden. i'll defend this man with my life—and that includes writing a useless essay on why Rook is more muscular and buff than we may think lmao

so in conclusion, Rook has beefy arms that the world is not prepared to talk about just yet. the end.

[sweetsmalldog]

SVSSS Liveblog Volume 1 Chapter 1

Before I start: this cover art is so pretty I love it

Is this whole opening a PSA on not abusing children or they’ll become Stallion Protagonists?

… Yes yes it is apparently

‘“Dumbfuck author Dumbfuck book” With his dying breath Shen Yuan spat this final curse’ Local man hated so hard he died

Bro why are you shocked the web novel writing by Mr. Masturbation was filled with smut and not very well written? You didn’t half to start it. You could’ve simply not been a hater. You could’ve simply touched grass.

Actually I think it makes sense that people still need to eat and sleep. Have you considered that sleep is nice and eating good food is good? Maybe the body still wants food even if it can’t eat it? Also what if your cultivation fails and you haven’t been eating or sleeping? Do you just suddenly die of starvation? Ever think of that Shen Yuan?

Once again your reading a web novel by Mr. Masturbation why are you surprised it’s bad?

The System immediately had enough of his hater vibe and told him to stfu

More pretty art let’s goooooooo

RIP my hater king you are the titular Scum Villain I mean it’s in the title to be fair

“Second: from now on, cling madly to the male lead’s thighs” The closet is made of glass

This man just got told he’s required to be a child abuser until he can unlock not having to act like an asshole 24/7 mode

And the last this that dude did was torture the protagonist oof

He is pretty that is your only saving grace until you unlock no more child abuse to your future murderer mode dude embrace that bit at least

“He still couldn’t compare to Luo Binghe” Once again the closet is made of glass

Even the system thinks the plot is shit

Even more pretty art!!!!

Smart way to give Binghe the medicine ngl

Man is already like “I’m fucked” and honestly fair

“It’s not like I don’t want to cling the the male lead’s thighs” the closet is open at this point

I too would just want to flee in disgrace

Local man just watching children bully other children because if he doesn’t join in on bullying said child he’ll literally die despite not wanting to be a child abuser

And he intervened valid and fair but he is fucking himself over but +10 morals for ever ten points he lost

‘Let me just grab the protagonist’s prized possession real quick’ -Shen Qingqiu

I mean fair enough get those points back

Man is on his way to unlocking not being a child abuser lets gooooo

Local man is hot, he’s being forced to be a horrible asshole by Google Translate God but he is hot

Fun Fact: If a torturer is particularly skilled a person won’t die of blood loss when being flayed hypothermia would usually be what did them in that case not relevant at all but idc

Love him outsmarting the system take that you Google Translate ass

This man sound so hot despite being shitty why is everyone saying he’s not? Look at the cover art!! That’s a hot man

LOOK AT THE GOOD ART HE LOOKS HOT!!!!

Local man banned from smiling rip

[lovestaysblogs]

another cinderella story

pairing: college au!jeongin x reader word count: 2121 genre: college au, fluff warnings: none network: @skzstarnet

Jeongin frowned at his friend’s bad joke. To be fair it was finals week. They had to find some humor somewhere because if they didn’t laugh, they would most definitely cry. He reached over to flick Jisung’s forehead,

“Go back to studying,” He deadpanned.

Jisung rubbed his forehead with a pout. “I’m trying, bro”. He groaned, “I don’t know why the hell I took this class in the first place.”

Jeongin chuckled, “It’s a required class Sung, you didn’t have a choice,”

“I know, I know but I’m a –”

“Creative writing major” They said in unison.

“We all know. You say it all the time,” Jeongin groaned and leaned back. “It’s college math bro, we all have to do it whether we like it or not,”

It was currently nearing dinner time and they both have been cooped up in the library from the day has started and they have yet barely reached anywhere.

“I give up. I don’t know why I even attempted to study,” Jeongin placed his head on his hands. “And I’m hungry,”

“We need to pass the class,” Jisung said trying to convince himself, “And I do not want to go through this hell again,”

Jeongin looked around, the library was full of tired and stressed out students. “If we leave and come back we’re probably not going to get our spot back.”

“Or, I could leave and you watch our spot?” Jisung looked over at him with a sly smile. “I could bring you back a coffee, please! Innie-ah please!”

Jeongin sighed, running his hand through his hair, “Fine, just go. You need it more than me anyways.”

Jisung barely took notice of his comment before packing up and leaving immediately. “I’ll find the best coffee on campus I promise!”

Jeongin would describe himself as an okay student. The university he attends now wasn’t his first pick. In fact, it’s more quaint than the others. But seeing that he still hasn’t declared a major, he can’t really be too judgy. 

He looked down at the foreign formulas in his book. Studying was not something that was on his mind at the moment. So with the lack of motivation and food in his stomach, he starts to scroll on his phone, praying that Jisung comes back soon.

The table he was sitting at shifted. He looked beside him to see a girl unpacking her books, basically setting up camp for studying beside him.

“Hi, uh that’s someone’s seat,” Jeongin said.

She turned to him and he noticed how put together she looked. Her twists pulled into a neat bun, wearing a sweater vest and dress pants paired off with the cliche black glasses frame. She was also wearing a mask but the way she frowned at him with her eyes in despair, when he told her she was in Jisung’s seat, tugged at his heart strings. He could tell she was a nerd, but at least, she was a cute nerd.

“Really? Oh no, the exam is tomorrow and my laptop is dying and this was the only open spot with an outlet right next to it.” Her soft voice brought back some life into Jeongin.

He suddenly felt re-energized. And who was he to turn down a study partner, especially one with such pretty brown eyes.

“Well, I’m sure he’s not coming back for now.” 

That was the half-truth, Jeongin prayed that Jisung wouldn’t come back for now. 

“You can stay here until he’s back,”

The bright eye smile you gave him as you pushed your glasses up, made him smile as well.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem.”

After a shared silence, he glanced over to see you clicking away on your calculator. Your brows were knitted together as you punched in numbers and quickly wrote down answers, softly mumbling to yourself. 

“Is that college math?” He asked.

“Yeah, the exam is tomorrow and I’m so nervous,” You barely even glanced at him.

But he smiled again. “Yeah, I have it too. But you seem to know what you’re doing. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

You paused what you were doing and looked up at him. He felt the gratefulness from your eyes.

“Thank you. But I don’t. And it’s no thanks to Professor Cho,”

“Wait, we're in the same class?”

“Yeah, we are”

“How come I haven’t seen you before?”

You looked back down at your notebook, and pressed your lips together, “Oh, you probably just didn’t take notice,” You said softly.

He scratched the back of head, feeling embarrassed.  “Well I should have. I can’t believe I’m only getting to know I had such a pretty and smart classmate all along.”

You laughed softly through your mask, “I’m wearing a mask, you can’t even see me.”

“I don’t need to when I know how gorgeous your eyes are already,”

There’s a certain warmth from you that’s pulling you towards him and he wants to find out more. 

You rolled your eyes, hoping the mask hid your smile beneath it, but Jeongin saw straight through it. Before he even got a chance to comment you changed the topic,

“How do you think you’re going to do on the exam?”

His shoulders slouched, “Honestly,” He chuckled, “It’s in God’s hands at this point,”

Your head fell back slightly as you laughed at him. It was to the point of people starting to shush you. You covered your mouth, trying to soften your laughter, even though you already had on the mask.

He liked that he made you laugh.

“It can’t be that bad?” You tried to offer little hope, before shaking your head, “No, it’s that bad. Professor Cho did nothing but yell all semester,”

“Or complain about –”

“No one wants to work these days,” You both said simultaneously.

You giggled looking over at him. His jet black hair slightly ruffled, most likely due to stressfully running his hand through it. His dimples really shine through, even when he barely laughs. His eyes glanced over at you and you both made eye contact. 

“You’ll do fine though,” You said softly. “I see you and your friend in class and you always have the long ass worksheets he sets for us done,”

“You saw that?” His eyes widened, “Damn, how come I’ve never seen you before?”

He truly cannot believe that you two have not crossed paths before. He was almost mad at himself for not taking notice of you. It’s amazing how in such a short time, he managed to feel so comfortable with a complete stranger. He really wanted to get to know you more. He can’t imagine how much more beautiful you were unmasked. 

You laughed, “Maybe it’s the mask. You just didn’t notice me” 

But his eyes narrowed at you, “Maybe it is,” 

His hand slowly reached out towards your face, “Can I?”

You nodded. 

As his hand gently touched the face covering, you both jumped apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Jeongin looked up to see Jisung and cursed in his head. Of course he picked the worst possible time to come back.

“Uh hey, that’s kinda my seat,”

And apparently Jisung was set on cockblocking him too.

“Oh! Sorry, yeah. My laptop’s done charging anyways.” You said quickly packing up your stuff. 

“I’ll see you around Yang Jeongin,” You said, “Good luck,”

Jeongin looked at Jisung out of the corner of his eyes. “You couldn’t stay away for five more minutes,”

“Bro, I don’t know why you’re attacking me. You’re the one that gave up my seat to a random girl. Why were y’all so close anyways? Do we know her?” He said handing the coffee over to Joengin.

Jeongin rolled his eyes as he took a sip, “No. But she knows me. And I was getting to know her.” He sighed leaning back into his chair, “The only good thing to happen to me tonight was her and I didn’t even get her name bro,”

Jisung shrugged, “She left her calculator here though,”

Jeongin sat straight back up, “Wait what,”

He grabbed the calculator and examined it, realizing there’s no name on it. Instinctively he stood and rushed out of the library, but he didn’t see you around.

“Damn it, the exam is tomorrow and she doesn’t have a calculator,” He mumbled to himself.

Dejectedly walking back into the library, he saw Jisung packing up. 

“Did you find her?”

Jeongin shook his head. 

“Maybe you’ll find her tomorrow man. But let’s call it a night because I have a feeling we’re not getting anything else done tonight.”

He shook his head again, “Nah, you go ahead. I wanna stay back,”

Jisung shrugged and left him behind.

The sun was blaring down on Jeongin at the exam center. He woke up early and went there just so he could see the girl with the mask again, in hopes of giving her the calculator before the exam.

It was now five minutes before the exam and still no sign of her. He looked down at the pink calculator with a frown. Before one last hopeful look he turned around with a sigh about to enter the room.

“Yang Jeongin!”

A girl screamed running towards him. As she got closer Jeongin realized it was her. 

She came to a halt breathing heavily, “You have my calculator? Please tell me that you do?”

Her pretty brown eyes furrowed once again, reminding him of their first encounter. Her twists were no longer neatly pulled back but a bit more messy resting her on shoulders. Yet, wearing just a simple t-shirt with sweatpants he still found her beautiful. His eyes scanned the features of her face, the mask so rudely covered. Her full lips fixed into a frown and her round cheeks added to her cuteness. 

“I do. When I realized you left it, I ran out after you but you were gone.”

“God, I’m so stupid. I didn’t realize I left it until I reached back to my dorm and I had to study using my phone calculator. If you know anything about phone calculators and how inconvenient they are, you can imagine how stressed I was. Not to mention I thought it was gone for good and calculators are so damn expensive nowadays and I got that ages ago and –” Your hands flew up to her face in despair as her breathing got worse. 

He gently reached out to your hand and placed your calculator in it. “Breathe.”

And so she did. 

Their eyes locked together once again as Jeongin smiled at you, “I’m sure you studied well and you’ll do well. Now let’s go so we never have to go through Professor Cho again,” 

You laughed. He really liked that he could make you laugh. “You’re right,”

When Jeongin left the exam room, he saw you outside waiting for him. 

“So how was it?” You asked with a smile.

He shrugged, “It was okay. But I think it’s because I saw you again as to why,”

You laughed and shoved him slightly, “You play too much,”

“How was it for you?” He said.

“It was good. Thanks again for bringing my calculator,”

“Of course. I had to find you again,”

“Why?”

“Because I want to get to know you,”

You looked down, suddenly feeling insecurities rise upon you. Why would he want to get to know you? 

“I forgot to wear my mask today,”

“So?”

“I…I was just saying that’s why I look different. You’re probably not really interested. It was probably the illusion of the mask,”

He placed a finger under your chin, raising your face up, forcing you to take eye contact with him. “I mean what I say, I want to get to know you. And without the mask, I think you’re beautiful the same,”

You felt your face warm up and if you were a bit lighter, you’re sure you would have been caught blushing.

“Let me take you out,” He said boldly. “After finals. It’ll be worth your time I promise,”

“You don’t even know my name,”

He used his other hand and tucked a twist behind your ear, “What’s your name pretty?”

“Y/N. My name is Y/N,” You said with a soft smile.

He smiled at you back. Your name was beautiful as you were. “Would you go on a date with me Y/N?”

“Yeah, I would,” You said with a giggle. 

“You know, I’m actually really glad you left your calculator,”

You gasped and hit him playfully, “You play too much,”

He laughed as he gently took your hand and walked with you. He knew that you were glad too, you just didn’t want to admit it as yet.

a/n:

reblogs help other people see my fics and it lets me know that you liked it that much to reblog 🥹🫶 so please reblog! i appreciate it.

omg this is the longest fic i've written! i hope you enjoy it T.T please please let me know.

i take feedback and criticisms as long as you're nice. i tried to play with the point of view here. if you notice it hopped between third person omniscient and second person. i tried my best to switch it when it was appropriate. let me know if it was good or not. also!! i'm trying my best to not write the same character (both the boys and y/n) in each fic. i really want to diversify it and really make them feel real and raw. with each post is me practicing so i'm really trying my best here. i hope to get better :')

[eddiemunson-reader-shame]

Good morning Hawkins in my daily struggle to power through Flight of Icarus despite my problems with it, I present to you:

Eddie Munson x Reader Headcanons - Hellfire Club Edition

Author’s Note: Y’all I am fucking STOKED! I’m finally meeting up with some old buddies this Saturday to play D&D again for the first time in four years! Me and my friends have been trying to find someone to DM for us for a while (my lover doesn’t want to which is totally fair). And I fell in love with Eddie helping Gareth make his new character in Flight of Icarus, and I feel like we have a significant lack of Reader in Hellfire Club headcanons. So, from one D&D nerd to the community, please enjoy these headcanons which is basically just me gushing for five hours about D&D.

For context: Let’s say Hellfire Club meets Fridays in the Drama Room after school hours.

Okay, first and foremost, Eddie plays Advanced Dungeons and Dragons in 1986 like its 2024 fifth edition in Hellfire Club.

Flight of Icarus got one thing right: Eddie doesn’t give a shit about rules half the time. While it’s a great guideline to start off from, I feel like Eddie would be big on homebrewing.

There may be some homebrew campaigns and a good majority of the storyline in the main campaign is improv, but that doesn’t stop him from respecting if there are players who want to follow the game rules.

He will tease the shit out of a rules lawyer though.

I can see Mike Wheeler as the rules lawyer at first, only to be thoroughly humbled by the first homebrew one shot Eddie put him in.

Eddie will either help you make a character in private or with the boys in case you need more brains to help explain things to you.

If you’re really new, he has his own private session 0 with you to roll for stats. He will meticulously go through all of your character’s details with you and help explain things no matter how many times you ask. He’s very patient, and he loves when you ask him questions.

It makes him feel happy you care so much about his hobbies!

Another big one: Eddie allows multi classing. You wanna be a Cleric who was torn from their order and forced into a life of crime as a Rogue?

“Bitchin’. We love a sassy holy member of the clergy that’s reverted to a life of crime. Let’s decide together how many levels you want in each class.”

You want to go for a specific subclass that cancels out your main class? *cough DRUID cough*

“Fuck it babe. I’ll allow you to keep your armor proficiencies, your spells, AND I’ll lift the requirements for castle worship only. Your Druid can pray for cleric spells in the woods.”

Hellfire Club is literally so relaxing even though there are insults thrown every five minutes and you might find yourself making enemies for the few hours Hellfire Club meets. But it’s not serious. It’s all in good fun and everyone makes up after.

Eddie often uses the Rule of Cool: If you make it sound cool, he’ll allow it in a campaign.

HOWEVER…

Eddie Munson is your sweetheart, your love of your life, your one, but he is a fucking BASTARD of a DM sometimes.

If you get a high roll, he will throw all manner of shit at you in a campaign.

You have a tanky build? Try soloing five groups in a row with no healer bitch.

Spellcaster with a high level arsenal of spells? Your long rests to regain spell slots will never know peace.

Cleric with high level healing spells? Woe, Silence be upon thee.

This mother fucker will not go easy on you if you’re a first timer, but thankfully he will explain to you in detail what he’s doing, what he’s rolling for, etc.

But that’s only for your first game and only because you’re his baby.

If you have a solid idea of how to play, good luck bro. You’re gonna need it.

You, Jeff and Frank collectively (jokingly) plan to one day jump Eddie after school if he continues his traditions of thinking of sadistic ways to kill your first character for a new class.

You tried to warn the freshmen about Eddie’s bullshit but they didn’t believe you. Especially Dustin, who defended Eddie to the death and chastised you for calling Eddie a “shit licking whore” of a DM because hey, that’s your boyfriend! Be nice to him!

… Dustin now only refers to the DM’s commentaries as “And now a word from our Shit Licking Whore…”

I can see Eddie becoming one of those DMs whose goal is to fucking win at all costs even though it’s really not the point but… you know. He seems like he’d have a competitive streak.

Based on Experience: You make eight in Hellfire Club. For a normal campaign that’s way too many goddamn people and turns can take fucking forever. Eddie often gets impatient and hates when the campaigns get mind numbing.

So Eddie’s devised this solution: One Shots have to be rolled for with a d20 to determine who gets to be one of four players, winners need the highest scores of the group. Hellfire Club’s main campaign though is anything goes, Eddie alone DMs, and all Hellfire Club members can play. Because the main is anything goes, it’s also the hardest. And once your character is dead, there’s no revives. The main campaign is not the most newbie friendly. You can opt out of it if you don’t feel comfortable with the main campaign.

The one shots are mainly official campaigns from the sourcebooks, but there are some homebrew ones allowed as long as Eddie checks them over first. These ones are the easier games to get into.

Eddie will allow anyone who wants to DM a chance to DM these one shots, because he honestly gets sick of being the forever DM and actually wants to play sometimes.

You prefer Eddie as a player because he will strategize beforehand with everyone while he rolls up a character. He will base his decision on everyone else’s, fulfilling any role you need. He also will help explain to you about certain encounters or walk you through picking spells or such as you level up.

If you need help while Eddie DMs, the best people to sit with are Gareth, Jeff, and Mike. Gareth and Jeff have the most knowledge about how spells work and helping you to walk through what would benefit the party. Mike is an invaluable tool to have being a former DM, and while he may get annoyed if you ask too many questions, he can tell you just about anything regarding abilities, monsters, or what effects certain spells have. He’ll also help you pick a weapon proficiency that matches your character’s needs.

If you need cheering up, sit next to Dustin or Frank. Franks got the depression snacks in clutch and Dustin will try to cheer you up if your character dies in a famous Eddie Munson death scene.

Dice Jail for Bad And Naughty Traitor Dice get thrown in a mason jar by Eddie’s DM screen. He shakes the jar full of the shitty dice and you all have to scream “SHUN THE TRAITORS”.

Eddie keeps his dice in a Crown Royal drawstring bag. I said what I said.

He even buys a bottle of Crown Royal for you so you have a matching bag for your dice too.

You best believe anything you need to start off the campaign, Eddie is going to buy it for you.

I will only say this once: Session 0 is the best day ever in Hellfire Club. Eddie goes all out: Pizza, drinks, snacks, candy, music, a little bit of the devil’s lettuce, he goes all fucking out.

[zjpg]

you and your brain

summary in which you're a study vlogger and he's your biggest supporter.

pairing lando norris x fem! psych student! reader

genre fluff, smau

warning hate comments for like 1 second. might be cringe i hope not tho lol

a/n in honor of me starting my psych journey next week🫡 ps. not the biggest fan of the tweets but yanno.

yourusername posted!

liked by landonorris and 214,494 others

yourusername exams stacking up before winter break. STUDY TIP: study with someone that cares about you! even if they aren't even in school (cough lando couch). they'll make sure you take your breaks and hydrate :) happy studying

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landonorris always making sure you're not killing yourself over a textbook 😁 -> yourusername thanks love

landonorris i love you and your brain -> liked by yourusername -> user1 i need a lando in my life -> carloszains55 me too.

user2 idk how this girl travels to like half the races and still finds time for schooling🥲 -> yourusername my classes are online and don't require me showing up to in-person class. plus most races i go to are during my summer breaks 😊

user3 lando = wag materiel -> landonorris thank you.

user4 i could never study psych 😭

user5 oscar and y/n are so cute :(

oscarpiastri when is your holiday? -> yourusername like a week -> landonorris 1 week, 3 days, 4 hours, and 23 seconds as of typing. -> oscarpiastri but who's really counting right?

landonorris posted!

liked by yourusername and 322,493 others

landonorris shopping and studying season!

oscarpiastri that all you've been doing during holiday mate? -> landonorris just until her exams are over :)

user1 so she's making him spend his holiday watching her... study. -> user2 she's not making him do anything. and if she supports him weekend after weekend why can't he? -> user1 he's worked hard all season and he can't even relax because his gf is dragging him down. -> user3 bro what💀 she's literally a psychology student, she's been working hard too. and she isn't dragging him down, she's literally just studying and he's supporting her.

yourusername thank you for being my support system🥹 -> landonorris of course baby🧡

user4 i do not regret dropping out...

user5 these two are so cute

yourusername posted!

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yourusername exam season is OVER. new vlog will be out tonight, i hope you all did amazing on your exams and if you haven't had them yet i hope the vlog helps you with your study dumps. YOU GOT THIS!!!

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user1 i got a C on my big exam 😔 -> yourusername that's okay love! remember tests do not define you! try some new studying techniques next time around, until then try your best to relax -> user2 lando i'm stealing her from you. -> landonorris no.

user2 the flowers🥹 -> yourusername he's the sweetest

landonorris i'm proud of you and your brain -> yourusername 🥹

landonorris my favorite (future) psychologist🧡

oscarpiastri congrats brainiac! -> yourusername thanks you osc!

lando.jpg posted!

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lando.jpg i love you

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yourusername and my brain??? -> lando.jpg always.

yourusername i love you i love you i love you -> lando.jpg 🧡

user1 lando jpg making a return just for yn🥹

user2 stop they are THE couple.

oscarpiastri how adorable -> liked by lando.jpg and yourusername

user3 PARENTS ARE PARENTING

carlossainz55 my favorites! -> yourusername gracias 😏 -> carlossainz learning faster than lando! -> lando.jpg HEY!!

yn.jpg posted!

liked by landonorris and 102,494 others

yn.jpg i love you (and your brain) more.

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user1 SHE OPENED A JPG ACCOUNT

user2 SHUT UPPPP RIGHT NOWWW

danielricciardo learning from the best eh? ;) -> yn.jpg meh 😊

landonorris my big brained baby🧡 -> yn.jpg my... baby!😁🧡 -> landonorris ynnn...

mclaren oooh, do we have to hire a new photographer 👀 -> yn.jpg i already have too many things going on bro😭

oscarpiastri can you take cool pics of me next?? -> yn.jpg sure!! -> landonorris no.

taglist: @enhacolor @bibissparkles @blueanfield @peachiicherries

[gumnut-logic]

Five pick ups and one drop off (Pick up 3)

Pick up 1 | Pick up 2 | Pick up 3

Quickly before work. Also, a little crack as is this entire series :D

I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

This was not the event he had thought it was going to be.

He had been invited to talk at the conference and they had gushed honours all over him, which was nothing unusual. However, an old professor had contacted him and asked him especially to attend and join him on a panel discussing the latest space discoveries, several of which had been made by his brothers and himself.

He could drop in to chat physics and visit and old friend, so he had sent his acceptance. Good company made it worth the effort to come down from on high and mingle with the academic crowd in person.

However, his professor had called in sick at the last minute and John had been left by himself. Virgil offered to accompany him, but an emergency in Japan had put an abrupt end to that opportunity for brotherly support.

Alan was up on Five keeping John’s seat warm, so his littlest bro was a fun accompaniment on comms when John really got bored.

Because it was boring. When had some of the top physicists become so…he fumbled for the word…self-centred? Obsessed they were right?

Admittedly, John and his brothers had thrown a few curve balls at the establishment over the years. Applied physics was at the core of their operations, after all, not to mention all the discoveries in space they had accomplished.

Hell, Three had landed a colony ship all by herself. In bits, yes, but the colonists had been safe and Three had been able to restock their supplies in half the time it would have taken the GDF.

The physical proof was there, yet, John had spent a good part of his presentation backing up his assertions. His brothers had been there, done all that, and here a bunch of earthbound fossils were adamant that it was all completely impossible because the math didn’t add up.

Invent new math!

There were a few enthusiastic questions in the crowd and he did have some follow up contacts, but he was tired. Earth always made him tired, people exhausted him, and the negative vibe did not help in the slightest.

That and he knew three of his brothers were hip deep in a danger zone in Japan. It wasn’t like John to be out of the loop like this. Alan sent updates, but John was used to being surrounded by information and schematics and there for his brothers.

A wrist comm just didn’t do it.

So, here he was, taking a breather at the end of the bar. At least the facility was an interesting one. Far above an African plain, the hotel moved slowly across the continent on a programmed schedule and offered some magnificent views.

John stared down at a massive herd of wildebeest and watched the individuals ebb and flow as he idly let the math meander through the back of his mind.

“You look like you need some company.” Tall, dark and suave sat down next to him and John’s heart sank just a little further.

Really? At a physics conference?

“I’m fine, thank you.” He really just needed a little time to himself to regain the energy required to go back in there and speak on the panel.

“If I may say so, you don’t look fine. You took a hammering in there.”

John looked up from his drink. “Everyone is welcome to their opinion.”

“Even when they are wrong?”

“Even when they are wrong.”

“I thought physics was pretty black and white. You’re either right or wrong.”

“Nothing is ever black and white, much less physics.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Thank you, but no. I’m back on stage shortly.”

“Well, in that case, you definitely need a drink. Bartender!”

John groaned inwardly. He did not have the energy for this.

“Hang onto your hat, bro, incoming.” Alan’s voice in his ear startled him, but whatever he could have said was drowned out by gasps and a very familiar roar.

Thunderbird Three flew into view, circling the platform in an obvious display of ‘look at me, aren’t I cool!’

John had to hide a smirk as every soul around him rushed to the windows and started gawking. But then a Thunderbird always made an impression. It was hard to ignore the physics when it was right in front of you.

“I have clearance to land. Johnny, picking you up, grab your stuff.”

God, he loved his little brother in that moment.

Three pivoted perfectly and angled down to land on the hotel’s launch platform.

She was big. Ever so big, and John redid the calculations in his head to reassure himself that the hotel’s hoversystems could support her weight. They could, and he trusted Alan’s skill.

Three might leave a few smudge marks on the forecourt, but eh, he felt like they owed them a little smudge after today’s debacle.

The great space ship settled smoothly in front of all the windows.

“That’s a Thunderbird!” Tall, dark and suave was staring out the window just as much as the rest of the crowd.

John didn’t bother to hide his smirk this time. “Yeah, that’s my ride.”

He grabbed what little he had with him and ignoring all the gawkers, bounded down the stairs and out to meet his little brother.

Alan, in full uniform, was standing beside Three’s steaming main engines. “Hey, bro, sounded like you needed an escape route.” Alan offered his hand.

John clasped it and drew him into a brief hug. “Thanks, Alan. I owe you one.”

“Nah, I got to see all their faces. It’s not often Three gets to strut her stuff in front of an audience.”

John grinned and hugged his little brother to his side as they turned their backs on said crowd and boarded the rescue rocket.

There may be a curious older brother debrief to field a little later, but since both Alan and he would be in space, there would be a volume button available if necessary.

As they launched, leaving the conference in Three’s exhaust, John grinned with glee.

Sometimes it was just great to be a Tracy.

-o-o-o-

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