#BOBs can go suck an egg

[supercalime]

My favorite part of the BOBs being annoying is how they think it’s a “gotcha” to say bucktommy fans are “too old because they are over 30” when *checks notes* most of the characters are over 30.

[writing-rat]

Such a cockslut

JENNA ORTEGA X AFAB READER (NO PRONOUNS USED)

Warnings: 18+ Content, Smut, G!P Jenna, Blowing smoke in face, blowjob, mentions of a photo being taken, semi-public sex, first RFP so may be bad

INSPIRED BY: @deep-fried-egg

-

It had been a long and stressful day for Jenna at the studio. She was stretching as she was walking inside the door after exiting her truck and was putting her bag down on the floor then took off her boots. She looked around for Y/N then. She peered into the kitchen, not seeing you then peered into the living room. That’s where she saw you wrapped in a blanket, looking at her like an owl from over the couch. Half of your face was covered so your smile was hidden. “There’s my favourite girl,” Jenna grinned out, unable to help it before she was jumping over the couch and saw that smile before she cupped your cheek, and kissed you. You proceeded to kiss back, a big blush going across your face.

“I’m gonna go out and smoke now, okay hon?” Jenna spoke. You nod before thinking. “Can I join?” You asked shyly, as you had a plan to help her destress even more so she didn’t have more than 1 cigarette. Jenna, intrigued, nodded. “Course you can my love,” she responded. She led you both out to the front porch as she sat down, lighting the cigarette as she was manspreading like she usually did. You eyed her crotch before you looked around seeing no one. Slowly you went onto your knees in front of her, which shocked her as she was looking down while smoking her cigarette. She was getting hard, you could see it through her green jeans. Slowly you start to rub her inner thigh as you look back up at her, seeing if she was consenting to you starting to undo her zip. You even licked your lips to tempt her, to which she nodded. 

“Go on. You are just a slut for my cock, hm?” Jenna asked, looking down at you. You blush as you nod, starting to unbutton her jeans. She put the cigarette in her mouth and pulled her jeans and boxers to her knees as you were slowly starting to kiss her inner thighs. Jenna grasped the cigarette in one hand, the other gripping your hair in a tight grip before you slowly licked up her dick, to which she held tighter, a low groan slipping out. “Come on. I know you are hungry for my dick, so just suck it, hm? Be a good cockslut?” Jenna teased you. Blushing bright red you nod as you start to take it in your mouth, first sucking the tip before you inserted more in your mouth.

Jenna kept groaning in pleasure as her grip tightened impossibly harder, her hips bucking in your mouth. You let out a whimper before you start to bob your head up and down, your hand trailing to her balls and slowly starting to rub them too. Jenna loved it, and she knew you did too. She rubbed your hair as she smoked, groaning and moaning even coming out now. She slowly inhaled into your face, which you whimpered at but found hot. “Cockslut likes to have smoke blown in their face too, hm?” she hummed out innocently, to which you blushed and nodded. You sucked more and noticed a pattern. Every time you reached her stomach she would blow smoke in your face, like it was a treat. 

It was working though. Soon she was getting close and it was becoming obvious she was about to cum. You kept deepthroating and on the fifth time she came inside your mouth. You swallowed it all immediately out of instinct, looking up at Jenna as you kept her dick in your mouth. She proceeded to take a photo before she was rubbing your hair. “Pull your shorts and panties down, cockslut,” Jenna commanded. You did as told, revealing your wetness as she licked her own lips. “On my lap, make sure my dick is entering you,” Jenna added on. You were quick to obey as you lined both her dick and your pussy together, before slowly going down on her. Once fully down you expected her to thrust as she smoked, but she didn’t. She didn’t move at all, causing you to whimper and grind against her thigh.

“Ride me, I won’t move or touch you,” Jenna informed you. You was bright red before you was slowly going up and down, all shy before you thought and undid your button-up flannel and revealing your tits to the famous woman. She looked down as you felt her dick twitch inside, ogling your chest as you was riding her. She blew smoke on them as you gasp, nearly getting your sweet spot hit but was just a bit too high. “Such a good cockslut. Not finding that sweet spot are you?” Jenna teased, lifting her eyes up from your tits to her face and held your jaw, making sure you kept eye contact as you rode her and as she smoked. “Open your mouth whore,” she degraded you. Opening your mouth, she blew into it as you gladly accepted it. Hell, a moan came out even which you was blushing at, getting more drenched as you kept riding her. 

You soon came, unable to help it as you just found your sweet spot. You knew Jenna hadn’t cum just yet, causing you to keep bouncing on your sweet spot as you whimpered and mewled in pleasure, Jenna moaning more as she wanted to feel and hear your moans on her neck. She quickly moved your face to her neck as you rode her, whimpers and moans pressed against her neck. She let out a groan before she came inside you. You let out a gasp and let out a whine before she was bending you over a table.

You knew she wanted you even more now. She had pulled out to make sure to tease you as she was taking off her shirt. Eventually she was inside you again as she was starting to hold your sides, pounding into you hard. She moaned as she did so, ignoring the fact people could see you as she soon groped your breast with one hand, the other slipping to your ass and groping it as she was letting out loud moans. You proceeded to whimper, mewl and whine as you bit the table a little, closing your eyes. She was slowly starting to mark your neck and your shoulders as you moaned, her constantly hitting that one spot inside you. She was already getting close due to coming 3 times in the same hour. She waited for you to cum however. After 2 minutes more of her pounding, you both came at the same time as she was holding you by the breasts and the ass still. After a minute of riding out your highs, she slowly pulled out and kissed her cheek, seeing the abandoned cigarette as she stubbed it out. “That was your plan all along huh?” Jenna teased. You blushed hard and nod. “Yes…” you spoke shyly. “Come on, let’s get you a bath, some food and water then we can cuddle and watch some films,” she spoke gently before kissing you gently. “What do you say?” She asked, wanting consent. You nodded, feeling your heart flutter. “Please and thank you,” you speak, before kissing back.

[bambina-lita]

imagine being at one of those old dive bars in town with friends, and after a few drinks in, you get dared to take an egg from the giant glass container of fermented, pickled eggs. only thing is, you’re an absolute lightweight when it comes to alcohol, so in your buzzed brain, you somehow misinterpret the dare as to take them all. this container is absolutely huge, mind you, at least half your body weight. the bartender has no idea how old it is, he says it’s been there since they started working, and this is an older gentleman whose been here a long time.

while the bartender and many others as distracted by an ongoing game on television, you manage to lift the entire container and tip it back in your mouth like its a drink. again, in your drunken stupor, you think you can handle this like it’s a drink. so the softened eggs come rolling in down your mouth, down your throat, one by one. you can’t even decide how they taste, because you’re just blindly sucking it all down. gulp gulp gulp. loud, obnoxiously slurping sounds as your throat bobs visibly taking in each egg and all the fermenting juice. and the effect is almost instantaneous. your stomach protrudes like a slow rising dome. it peeks out from your sweater, and then before long, the massive, gravid bump is pushing back the whole fabric. halfway through, you are stuffed beyond measure. but you keep going. you want to finish the dare, don’t you? so you spread your legs a little to adjust to the growing new weight — a literal globe distending from your belly —and keep going. it’s a good thing you’re drinking the fluid too, otherwise your belly would be awkwardly shaped from all the eggs squishing and crammed inside you. instead, the additional bloat allows for them to slosh inside. chug chug chug, your idiotic brain is chanting as you keep going.

by the time you finish, a highlight of the game is over and the bartender realizes what you’ve just done. he shakes his head disapprovingly. some of the patrons notice your apparent late-end pregnant belly that was definitely not there when you first arrived. they all shake their heads, as if in agreement. what a stupid, attention-seeking girl. she’s gonna pay for it later, for sure.

you wobble your way back to your friend circle; half of them are mortified, the other half are mystified. someone playfully slaps your drum-tight belly playfully, it elicits a hot, hearty burp you didn’t even know was welded up in there. the alcohol is preventing you from feeling any pain over your error; you just feel so warm, so stuffed, so packed. is that such a bad thing on this cold night? it’s not. but what is bad is how distracted you are from all the mystery gases brewing and churning inside. your friends can hear it when they curiously place an ear beside your bump. it’s just like the patrons all said before — you’re gonna pay for later.

when it’s time to leave, one of your friends mercifully helps you shuffle towards their car. the bump hasn’t gone down by any means. you’ve been stifling burps for the last few minutes. swallowing them back down means you’re only keeping in all the air you foolishly sucked down, on top of the fermented egg jar. now you’re acutely aware of the tightness too. everything hurts. you’re shamelessly moaning open-mouthed, leaning back miserably in your car seat. your friends are just barely able to get the seatbelt around your distended middle. they tell you that they’ll be home soon. but at some point, they hit a bump. that jostles you terribly. your painfully stuffed stomach jostles and sloshes loudly for everyone to hear. and then;

frt. frt. frrrrrt.

it’s like an air leak from a balloon. you don’t do anything to stop it. the plethora of little noxious farts slips one by one in quick succession. everything is bubbling up inside of you. burps soon accompany it. you can taste the stench of the pickled eggs and your liquor. each burp, each fart, grows shamelessly louder and louder. your friends whine and moan, windows are immediately rolled open for the mercy of fresh air. at least the air being released is somewhat helping with the bloat. somewhat. barely. no, honestly, it’s barely made a dent in the damage you self inflicted.

one of your friends sitting next to you rubs your belly in small circles, as if to coerce some more air out. they’re one of the only ones who is sympathetic to your plight. that is, until they whisper in a voice which only you can hear; “i think you can handle more, don’t you?”

the one fragment of common sense remaining in your head screams no. that’s absolutely insane. why would you go any further than this with mindlessly stuffing yourself? you’re already a ticking time bomb, your belly is ready to implode from being so overly packed.

but you dumbly nod your head, a cute little squeak-fart following. in your head you’ve somehow conjured up the image of those pickled eggs as being your own brood now, so you’ve gotta eat for two now. or two hundred, or whatever the number was.

[jackassbrainrot]

head in the game [dico x gn!reader]

desc: you know that whole sucking someone's dick while they play video games? yeah that with dico

a/n: so very selfindulgent, like every fic I write that isn't a request (and sometimes even those are selfindulgent). I imagine this as more of a fwb situation than a relationship but you do you!

warnings: oral m!receiving, swearing, objectification (sorta?), calls reader a slut once, dico's just kind of mean in this one

word count: 564

You watch Dico sitting on the couch with a controller in his hands, eyes glued to the television screen. He's been in that same position for hours, not moving a muscle aside from the fingers mashing buttons in sequences that seemed random to everyone but him.

After hours of watching him play, your bored thought spiral into an idea you couldn't resist. You walk over to the couch, his gaze piercing through you as you obscure his vision for a moment before dropping to your knees in front of him. He looks down at you with a cocked eyebrow when your hands reach to unbuckle his belt, before turning his attention back to the game, a slight smile on his face.

Pulling his dick out of his pants, you spit in your hand before stroking it slowly, hearing his breath hitch. You continue your teasing, kissing the tip and licking the shaft with little kitten licks. His breathing gets deeper, trying to stay focused despite your touches.

Not satisfied with his reactions, you decide to take him into your mouth, sinking down until your nose was touching his pelvis. A low groan leaves his throat, eyes rolling back before looking back at the tv, not sparing you a glance. Two can play this game, you think to yourself. setting an unrelenting pace. You revel in the noises he's trying to hold back.

"If I lose this round because of you, you're fucking dead." He grits through his teeth, still not looking at you, and you smile as much as the cock in your mouth allows, keeping the same pace as before. His words only egg you on, your head bobbing up and down quickly, spit spilling from your stretched lips, making lewd wet noises. You feel his body tighten, and he cums in your mouth with a growl.

As you go to lift your head from his lap, you feel his hand keeping you in place. You make a confused noise, your mouth still full, making him smile cruelly down at you. "You didn't listen and now you're going to stay right where you are until I beat this shit." His words go straight to your crotch as you swallow around him. "And don't fucking move."

So you kneel there, keeping his dick warm in your mouth as he keeps playing. Your knees and jaw go sore but the stretch of your lips as he slowly hardens makes you whine with pleasure. He chuckles, thrusting into your mouth without warning, making you gag. You look up at him with wide eyes but his gaze is glued to the screen, acting like nothing has happened.

You don't even know how long you've been in that position before he puts the controller down, finally turning his attention to you. His hands grip the sides of your head, keeping you in place as he fucks your mouth without any care for your gagging or the spit and tears running down your face and neck. He pulls out of your mouth, one hand holding your head in place and the other jerking him off before white ropes fall onto your tear stained face.

"Think that's enough attention for you, slut?" He asks, putting his dick back into his pants and walking to the bathroom, leaving you desperate and horny on the floor, face dripping with cum and tears.

[indestructibleheart]

Hi, fam! Okay, so I'm going to be out at an appointment tomorrow morning, so I'm kicking this off a little bit early. It's technically Wednesday in several timezones and very nearly Wednesday in mine. I'm... also a bit eager to share this, ngl.

I know that I've shared a lot of angst lately, but I swear that's not all I'm doing. 😅 In fact, the actor/playwright AU decided to wallop me in the face out of nowhere after sitting in my WIP folder for months. I'm really excited about it, so I'm gonna share the first scene!

(Also, those of you who have been to New York with me will recognize my favorite brunch spot in this scene lmao.)

---

You probably didn't even know I was in the room, but I noticed you straight away. You were talking with your friends, happy and animated and fully alive—a person living in dimensions I couldn’t access—and so beautiful. Your hair was longer then. You were the center of attention, but you weren’t afraid. You had a yellow ipê-amarelo in your pocket. I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen; I'd better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire.

INT. MOM'S KITCHEN & BAR - HELL'S KITCHEN - LATE MORNING

"I'm telling y'all," Alex is saying, punctuating with dangerously large bites of his pancake burrito. "The dude's a dick." 

It's been two hours since the nightmare audition, but Alex has been on this tirade since June and Nora first slid into the retro diner chairs across from him (at least forty-five minutes ago).

They're at Mom's: a restaurant-bar in midtown that can only be described as millennial nostalgia incarnate. The trio fell in love with it two years back—post-karaoke, stumbling in right before closing—when Alex saw God in their Fruity Pebble pancakes.  Since then, it's been his favorite place to eat his feelings.

Mom's is just really fucking comforting in general, honestly; whether it's the televisions cycling through episodes of 'Rugrats,' 'Dexter's Laboratory,' and 'Hey, Arnold!' or  the rainbow straws and Lisa-Frank-looking menus, Alex can't be sure. It doesn't hurt that they've made friends with several of the waitstaff, including an eccentric bartender, Pez, whose pink hair and painted nails fit right in with the decor. 

Today, it's the combination of breakfast sausage, bacon, eggs and cheese wrapped up in a syrup-soaked pancake that's really doing something for him. It could also be the margarita the size of his face, which Pez placed in front of him before making himself uncharacteristically scarce. But it's fine. He's probably just busy.

Alex won't admit it out loud, but what really helps is having June and Nora here to talk to… even though Nora is scrolling on her phone.

"I'm sorry," June says. She pokes an ice cube with her straw, and Alex watches as it bobs around her mimosa like a buoy. "That sounds like it sucked, but if he's really that rude… maybe you didn't want to work with him anyway."

Nora doesn't look up as she pops a home fry into her mouth. 

"Several sources say he's difficult to work with," she adds, evidently reading about Henry on the internet. "Though, in his defense, his dad did just die, like, three years ago… and there was that whole thing when he came out after. Remember?"

Alex does remember. Henry's grandmother, Mary Mountchristen, runs a pretty major company that used to own half the theatres on the West End. When Henry came out last year, she tried blacklisting his shows from her properties to punish him—which totally backfired when it got around. At least a dozen other queer writers and producers started talking about how they were also denied the space, and Mary was stoned on the streets of the theatre district. Like, metaphorically. 

Alex, Nora, and June had just moved to New York, but between June's position at Newsday and both Alex and Nora on the audition circuit, it was all anyone in their new circles could talk about. They were some of the first to know when the Mountchristens were bought out of their properties and Henry moved to the States.

This show is the first of Henry's being produced here—and it's autobiographical, which Alex has to admit is pretty fucking baller. So, yeah, Nora's not wrong. He has reason to be standoffish. Still, it doesn't explain why Alex was only halfway through his audition monologue when Henry abruptly stood up and exited stage left as if pursued by a bear.

He shoves another forkful into his mouth. "It's just, like, they're the only people who let me into the room," he says, barely finishing chewing. "Nobody wants to take me seriously, and I really thought this was my shot, you know?"

June and Nora both know Alex is having a hard time landing serious roles after growing up on a sitcom—Nora more than most, as his former co-star. What they don't know is that losing this role, specifically, feels like a kick to the stomach. From the moment Alex saw the script, he wanted to be a part of it. He can't even explain why, and now he'll never figure it out. Henry wouldn't give him a chance.

"It wasn't your only shot, and you know it." Nora fixes him with a look. "Seriously, I get it—I do—but it's just one play, buddy."

June nods. "Something will happen for you, baby brother."

At that, Alex finally groans. "Okay, calling me baby brother doesn't help me feel better about the entertainment industry infantili—"

"—itty bitty, teeny weeny—"

Alex throws a home fry at her face. 

It bounces off her forehead and into the giant gauntlet holding her mimosa with a very unappetizing splash. Just as Alex throws his hands into the air with a victorious whoop, his phone buzzes on the table. 

A glance is all it takes for him to see that it's his agent, Zahra.

"Damn," he says, deflating. There goes that upswing. "You answer it."

June balks. "Me?"

"I don't need to hear how fucking badly it went. Trust me, I got the message." Alex blinks innocently, like he's six years old again, asking her to lie to their mom about that broken vase. "Please, Bug? Besides, Zahra actually likes you."

"Everyone likes me." June rolls her eyes, but she caves—answering the phone with a haughty, "Alex Claremont-Diaz's office," before breaking into a smile. "Yeah, Z. It's me… No, Alex is feeling a little sensitive today."

(He throws another home fry at her. This one misses.)

To her credit, June's face remains totally blank as Zahra no doubt tells her how Alex insulted Henry Fox's name and all of his inbred ancestors just by showing up, or whatever—which is extremely annoying and unhelpful—but, once she says goodbye and sets the phone back down on the table, her face breaks out into a grin.

"Guess you didn't suck too bad," she says. "They want you for the part."

He doesn't know if it's Nora throwing herself at him or the shock that knocks him onto the floor.

Tagging some lovelies. If you haven't been tagged and you want to be, consider this your tag!

@anchoredarchangel, @barbiediaz, @cha-melodius, @cricketnationrise, @guillermosfamiliar, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @hippolotamus, @inexplicablymine, @jettestar, @junebugclaremontdiaz, @kiwiana-writes, @lizzie-bennetdarcy, @missgeevious, @mulderscully, @myheartalivewrites, @ninzied, @nontoxic-writes, @notspecialbabe, @priincebutt, @rmd-writes, @rosedavid, @three-drink-amy, @treluna4, @vanillahigh00, @welcometololaland, @orchidscript, @ships-to-sail, @stereopticons

[dantemoorerp]

Dante's first meeting with Ingo goes as expected.

(Fiddling with first meetings and such. Some things might change.)

Nimbasa City Station is incredibly busy, Dante finds out when he steps into the building. He should've known, he supposes, since it's completely different from Earth's railway systems; less train stops, more people, and more pokemon.

He fiddles with the rope tying Beau to him, and wonders at the train etiquette. Do you recall your pokemon while on the train? Are you allowed to keep one pokemon out? Are there exceptions? There are still so many things he's unaware of. At least the egg is secure in its incubator on his back. It has nowhere else to go.

Maybe they'd prefer him to have his Kakuna held instead of swaying against his hip? Or maybe they'd want his Joltik to be in a pokeball instead of asleep in his shirt pocket?

He sucks in his bottom lip, scraping his teeth against it as he debates his options. His eyes scan the entrance, his eyes lighting on a green uniform. Looking around himself as he walks towards the Subway employee, he takes note of the different platforms and tracks.

"Excuse me," Dante says, slipping into the same pace as the employee, "I was wondering if I could ask some questions? I'm new here."

The employee glances over at him, then slows to a stop. Dante follows suit. "Galar?"

... that was the place Shield and Sword was focused on, wasn't it? A british one? Close enough. "Yes. We only had the one train and... I just want to know about the train etiquette here."

They raise their eyebrow at him. "What kind of train etiquette are you talking about? I'm sure it's the same everywhere."

Dante shakes his head, thinking about the trains at home. "No, no pokemon were allowed outside of their pokeballs while in public transit. I wanted to know if it's the same here."

They frown thoughtfully at him. "Interesting, I've never heard of that happening before, but then again, I've never been to Galar before..." they trail off, their eyes sliding away in thought. They shake their head and focus on him. "You can take any pokemon on the train out of their pokeball within reason. They can't go on if they can't fit, and any pokemon that oozes or has a smell must be kept in their pokeball."

"Makes sense. Thank you."

The Subway employee bobs their head at them and continues walking. Dante, on the other hand, continues to stand there. He looks down at Beau. His eyes squint up at him and vibrates in question when he notices Dante looking at him. "I might have to hold you when we're on the train, buddy." Beau makes a displeased noise in return. "You wouldn't be comfortable otherwise. I could always put you in your pokeball instead--" Beau hisses, "--okay, I won't do that, but you can't stay on my belt the whole time. Right now is fine, but you'll be bumping into a lot of metal if you stay where you are." Beau vibrates unhappily. Dante sighs. "Fine, we'll do it your way first." He reaches down and strokes the Kakuna. Beau chirps.

He couldn't have all his pokemon out. Aspen would have to stay in her pokeball for now.

He straightens up and heads towards the tracks heading to Mistralton City. Honestly, he didn't want to head back in the middle of his research, but the nurses there wanted to give him a check up. Why they couldn't just forward his information to another city's hospital was beyond him, but he'd make the trek anyway. It was only a train ride away. He should be back here fairly soo--

Someone shoulder-checks him and he stumbles, reaching out his right arm to quickly rebalance himself. A white glove firmly takes hold of his elbow and steadies him. He straightens, his hands shakily patting down his shirt pocket (Gadget: check) and patting Beau's carapace.

"Are you alright, sir?" the man asks him. He briefly glances at the man, noting his silver sideburns, silver eyes, and smooth features, before he yanks the incubator off his back in a hurry to check on the egg.

"Yeah, thanks for catching me," he says, relief flooding through him when he finishes inspecting the egg through the glass. There are no cracks, and the temperature is still optimal. Strapping it to his back again, he looks back at the man standing there with his hand still outstretched. He gives the man a handshake. "Thank you again; I don't know what I'd do if something happened to my pokemon."

"You're welcome," the man replies. He clears his throat. "Perhaps you should be more vigilant in the future?"

Dante nods. "Yeah, sure." He doesn't bother telling the man that he was watching where he was going. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks. Bye!"

He gives the man in a black collared coat a little salute and goes toward the Mistralton City station.

He doesn't want another repeat performance.

------

Hopping off the platform, Dante clips Beau back onto his belt, and straps the incubator onto his back again. Patting himself down to make sure Gadget is still in his shirt pocket (he is; he gives a little chirp in greeting while he peeks out) and that Aspen's pokeball is still secure in his pokeball belt (it is), he makes his way towards the hospital.

[crazyk-imagine]

Subscription Blurb

Based on this post

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why’d we decide to do Christmas together again?” Javy asks.

Natasha raises a brow. “Why?”

“He hasn’t found a gift for our secret Santa,” Mickey chimes in.

“He kept saying he was busy every time we asked and now, he’s struggling,” Bob adds.

She nods, now understanding his problems.

“Finally, I beat you at something.”

“Does that really sound like a brag worthy thing?” She asks Jake.

“He’s always going on about how he's always got a plan and now he doesn’t while me, the amazing guy that I am does, yeah I’m gonna brag.” He smacks Javy’s shoulder. “How’s it feel?”

“Like a sin.”

“Here’s a Bible,” Bradley says, lifting one up for his friend.

“Where’d that come from?” Bob asks.

The mustached man shrugs, “I found it in the drawer.” He points to the night stand behind him.

Callie nods. “Right.”

“What? Did you guys think I just walked around with a Bible on me at all times? How dirty do you think I am?”

“We didn’t want to assume,” Mickey adds.

“Yeah, you know, we don’t judge,” Neal chimes in, closing the door behind him as he sets the food down on the nearest table.

“So, you guys think I’m a slut?”

“We prefer to use the term manwhore,” Jake tells him, snacking on a French fry.

“Of course, you would. You’re on the cover of them.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t hate if I have game and you don’t.”

“So, did everyone get a chance to figure out what they needed to get for their secret Santa?” Reuben asks, staring as the host of the Christmas party.

“I think everyone smart enough to walk in with something instead of coming in empty handed did,” Bob says.

“You never know.”

The bespectacled man shrugs, knowing he’s right.

“Who’s going first?”

No one raises their hand and the person beside him all nudge their seating partner.

“Okay, I’m pulling names out of a hat if we’re going that route.” Neal went first and he had-

“A mustache comb?” Bradley reads out loud, checking out the box.

“Yep.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“Everyone knew you’d love it,” Natasha tells him.

Next up was Callie and she had-

“A cocktail book.” Natasha opens the book and shakes her head. “And all the sugary “girly” drinks are bookmarked. Great, thanks, Cal.”

Mickey had Bob. “This is just for the nerds, but I found Star Trek uno and I know you don’t have a phaser, so I figured why not kill two birds with one stone and get you both.”

Bob’s eyes lit up when he opened the box and he actually saw the aforementioned items. “After this were playing uno and whoever doesn’t have Spock near the end of the round has to take a shot.”

“Damn, who knew Baby on Board could get intense,” Jake says, smiling as he pats the man’s arm.

“Shut up,” Mickey tells him.

Javy was next and he chose- “Logan, my man.”

The mentioned man raises his brows.

“Too much?”

The squad nods in unison.

“Alright, fine. Anyway, my gift for you and everyone here is me. Yeah,” he opens the envelope in his hands. “That’s it, yep.” He sucks in air through his teeth. “It’s another year of friendship, you, Logan, are the first to get your friendship membership has been renewed. Congratulations.”

Mickey raises his hand. “How do you cancel that transaction? I’m not feeling it this year.”

“Hey!” Jake stands up, holding his spiked egg nog (an old family recipe). “Seriously how do you do that? I don’t know if I want this to continue.”

Javy scoffs and shoves the man, who then trips over his own feet and manages to catch himself before he can fall on his face.

Natasha, Bob, Reuben, and Logan laugh until their stomachs hurt, and they can barely breath.

Bradley and Callie reach over to help the man regain his balance and make sure he sits down before he falls and potentially injures himself.

“Maybe we should just watch a movie or something,” Bob says.

“What are we watching?”

“Christmas!” The man in Christmas glasses (Jake) giggles in Callie's ear.

“Yeah. I know but if we could without the screaming and find a movie, lets.”

-

Taglist:

@blueoorchid @kmc1989

[anonymous-dentist]

So after Festa Junina the other week, I started thinking about what American holidays could be cool to see done, because a bunch of American holidays really just suck (I’m looking at you, Fourth of July.) But you know what good USAmerican rep would be on the QSMP?

Halloween! Stores are already putting out decorations irl, so it’s literally Peak USA

Just imagine the eggs trick or treating!!! That would be so cute!! Add a little candy mod so the eggs can have their Smarties or whatever, yk? Everyone can dress up in costume and bob for apples and go through a haunted barn or corn maze and then Cucurucho could chase people with a chainsaw and get away with it because that’s just Halloween, baby! We love chasing people with chainsaws at haunted houses!

(Because, really, what other holidays do we have that we can do something fun with? Christmas? Ew. Fourth of July? Eww!!)

[zero-insignificance]

DND Recap: The Beach Episode part 1

Cast consists of Rose the DM, Alfie (yours truly), Truk, Patrick, Rayna, and Quinn.

We open up in the streets of Finkelberg.

The party had a fun night full of drink and food and company and are ready for the next step in their journey.

Brick appears and starts talking to Truk. Brick: how many people walked in on you? Truk: 14. They are dead now. Brick: What are their names? Truk: I did not get their names. Brick: *starts rummaging through Truk's mind* Truk: *grimaces* Brick: *finds the memory* their souls shall be erased from existence.

Bob approaches the party hesitantly.

Bob: You will not be here for long, will you? You finished your quest. Alfie: Surprisingly no. Bob: Where will you go? Alfie: Hell. I can apparently rescue my bio parents. Patrick: You have parents?! You didn't just spawn in? Alfie: Yeah. I got two sets. Bio parents and adoptive dads. My adoptive dad is technically my uncle, but I call him Dad anyways. Bob: *turns to Patrick* Our deal is done. You helped him on his quest. I have something for you.

Bob pulls out a 2-liter bottle of Baja Blast. It has a bunch of marbles in it that are floating around. "Don't take them all at once. Your mind will explode. Take one per day."

Bob has his back to Alfie.

Me: Alfie decides to start having fun with his physical form. Rose: I swear if you turn into a cow Me: Alfie would never. He's not evil anymore. As an eldritch entity he can change his false body at will and where once was a redheaded white bird folk with mottled black feathers and scales now stands a freckled human with blood red hair, black eyes, with black splotches across his pale skin. Bob turns around and screams. "WHAT THE FUCK." and Bob shouts at him to turn back. Alfie as a human is too much for Bob to handle. Alfie turns back into his bird form and laughs harder.

Alfie: You should've seen the look on your face. Bob: NEVER CHANGE AGAIN. Patrick: *pops a memory marble in his mouth* Holy shit. I'M ALLERGIC TO EGGS. Bob: *a bit annoyed* Anyways I think it is about time that you all have a chance to relax! There are several beaches in the fey wilds. *turns and starts walking away* Alfie: *confused* where are you going? Bob: to the beach. I ran out of smoke bombs. Alfie: I haven't relaxed in over 10 years. Truk: I suppose it would be nice to relax. Brick: I would recommend you wait before heading that way. Alfie: *concerned* why would you say that? Brick: It's... his choice of swimwear. Alfie: Is it an ugly pattern? Brick: *silence* Alfie: *snaps his fingers so he's now in beach attire* Let's go! Patrick: *starts heading in the direction Bob went*

Rose: In a clearing you see Bob. He's in a speedo. Truk: *mortified* Patrick: *also mortified* Alfie: *eyes Bob up and down* Oh dear. That is not your color. Bob: Really? Alfie: Yeah. You should dress in jewel tones. Bob: *uses chaos magic to summon a wardrobe and starts rummaging through it* Alfie: *also starts rummaging through the wardrobe* At some point Bob is in a mankini and Alfie finds a pair of patterned swim trunks and holds them up to Bob's chest and nods Alfie: These ones.

The party actually looks around and sees no beach but a bathtub. And Bob is gone.

"I don't know about you guys, but this isn't a beach."

An old man appears and is like "Oh you're almost there!" and Alfie draws his sword and starts going "stranger danger stranger danger stranger danger-" And the old man walks up to the tub and hops into it and slowly sinks. Alfie and Truk slowly approach the tub and peak into it. There is nobody in it and it seems bottomless.

Alfie tosses a glowing rock into the tub. Truk puts the tip of his newly acquired great sword into the tub and it starts being sucked in. Alfie and Patrick grab onto Truk and pull him away. The great sword is sucked down into the depths. Truk realizes this and swan dives after it.

Brick appears and menacingly says "You better be going after my son."

Alfie is perched on the lip of the tub. Patrick refuses and he feels a hand start to squeeze his brain. He is pulled up by the back off his neck and is dragged to the tub. He's dropped in an immediately starfishes.

"FUCK WHY ARE THE SIDES OF THE TUB SO SLIPPERY?"

And Alfie just gives Patrick a look of sympathy before lightly pressing a single finger on the middle of his chest sending Patrick down into the depths.

Alfie glances at Brick and gives him a look of "I'll make sure they don't kill themselves" and jumps into the tub.

The party comes to on the beach from Attack on Titan. Truk immediately gets up and starts looking for his great sword. Alfie finds the glowing rock he threw in and pockets it. Truk demands that we help him find the great sword and Patrick doesn't know what it looks like and Truk hasn't had it long enough to solidify it in his memory and they start bickering.

Meanwhile Alfie is perched on the hilt of Rahdan's Great Sword and is waiting for a break in the argument.

Patrick lifts up the great sword with Alfie still on it and hands it to Truk asking if this is the great sword he was looking for. Alfie lets go and slowly floats back to the ground.

Looking around we see Bob who is under a very large umbrella, and we head over to him. He's wearing the swim trunks that Alfie selected.

Alfie questions if anyone would like some cocktails or mocktails. Patrick pulls out a Stanley cup full of coffee. Truk is intrigued by mocktails and asks for one. Alfie questions him about his favorite juices and Truk's favorite juice is apple juice. Alfie makes him an Appletini Mocktail and hands it to him. He isn't a fan so Alfie pulls out a gallon bottle of Motts apple juice.

Truk grabs it and takes a swig. "Do you want a bendy straw?" Truk nods and Alfie hands him a bendy straw. "Oh, so you're a bartender?" questions Bob. "I worked as a barista and bartender for a few summers." "Oh really? Can I get a tequila sunrise with baja blast instead of orange juice?" "Of course!" and Alfie pulls out a bunch of bartending tricks, and in a flourish of motions he hands Bob what he requested. The glass is frosted with a wedge of lime and several grapes on a toothpick. Bob downs it in one second. "Damn, that's pretty good."

Alfie: Hang on does anyone have any allergies i should know of? Patrick: Eggs. Truk: *nursing the bottle of apple juice* no. Bob: Yes. I'm allergic to bullshit. Patrick: *smirks* THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKE. Bob: *immediately busts into hives*

A scream comes from the sky, and we all look up and see Rayna falling. The Bartending equipment that Alfie was holding dematerializes and he catches her.

Rayna: Where are we? Alfie: The beach. It's the beach episode. Bob: Now go on! Have fun enjoy the water but watch out for the sea monster. Truk: What. Alfie: *freezes* God fuckin damn it. Bob: There's a sea monster. Alfie: *falls backwards into the sand and screams* Truk: Why not close off this section of the beach. Alfie: I can't catch a break. I can't catch a fucking break. I CAN NEVER CATCH A BREAK. Bob: They had to expand. Alfie: *downs two strawberry daiquiris* Patrick: Have you tried building a wall? Bob: Someone tried building a wall once. Alfie: By any chance was that guy orange with shitty yellow hair and reeked of narcissism? Bob: Yes. Alfie: Ugh. I can't stand that guy. Bob: Nor can I.

The beast in the depths is a Kraken. Truk and Rayna want to try to fight it. Truk wants to try diplomacy first. Alfie sits up and thinks to himself "If they're going then I'm going, or they'll get themselves killed."

At one point Bob laughs. Alfie: Can you please stop being so ominous? Bob: Unfortunately, no. It's in my code.

Another scream comes from the sky and down comes Quinn. Alfie slows her descent with a wave of his hand.

A decent chunk of the party speaks languages that the Kraken can understand, except for Quinn and Patrick. Quinn has speak with animals and beasts so she's good. Alfie knows primordial (eldritch entity). Rayna knows celestial and infernal (mother of titans). Truk knows primordial and celestial (son of brick).

Overall, the party wants to prevent a whole bunch of deaths. Alfie is so tired right now, but he'll go with whatever the party does. Bob parts the sea and there is a stone path leading to a cave.

Me: Where's Paul? Rose: You hear a loud mooooooOOOOOOOO coming from the sky Alfie: *immediately stops Paul's fall and gently sets Paul down with eldritch magic* Bob: *side eyes Paul* Truk: *starts walking down the path* Alfie: Ok Paul do you want to go with the party or stay here on the beach. Paul: Moo *goes over to Bob's warlock robes and starts chewing on them*

Back with Truk "Who approaches my abode." "I am here to talk."

Through the conversation there was a brief misunderstanding because of Alfie where the Kraken thought we were here to kill them, but Truk sorted it out and offers the Kraken friendship cuz he may not have been there during most of the mlp arc but he knows that friendship is magic.

The Kraken put together that we are a quite powerful group of adventurers. The Kraken has true sight so he can see Alfie's form for what it really is. A hulking form larger than the Kraken itself. Vaguely avian with a grey beak, covered in what looks like black feathers that absorb light itself, with many many bright glowing white eyes and the numerous sets of wings span out and the fabric of reality bends around his form itself.

These eyes are fixed on the Kraken. They're intense, angry, yet calm and very tired.

He agrees to Truk's offer on one condition.

We all have to spar with him at once.

A grin spread across Truk's face and he asks a singular question, "Prep time?"

Spell casters buff the tanks, Rayna summons a fey to fight with her and we're ready to go.

The Kraken goes first and goes for Patrick instantly, the fey jumps in front of him and is grappled by a tentacle. Truk is also grappled.

Patrick sends off a Guiding Bolt and Alfie follows up with a well-placed Fire Bolt. Alfie looks like he just wants to take a nap. A bed appears behind him, and he sits down on it pulling out an apple and eating it. Bob appears next to Alfie and he and Alfie start chatting as they watch the spectacle Alfie stepping in when needed.

The Kraken pulls Truk close and asks him which party member is his favorite. "I don't have a favorite." "Just pick one." "Rayna."

The Kraken chucks Truk at Rayna, she tries to catch him, and she fails.

Bob and Alfie cringe at that.

Quinn has been stealthing around doing rogue and ranger stuff.

A storm cloud appears over three party members. Rayna, Truk, and Alfie.

Alfie groans and says "Wonderful. This is the perfect mirror of my mental state." and we each make a dexterity saving throw. Rayna and Alfie take 19 points of damage and Truk takes 38 as lightning strikes us.

The soot on Alfie's feathers vanishes "Yep. It's jambalaya time." and Alfie summons a bowl of delicious jambalaya and turns to look at Bob. "You want some?" "Absolutely" and Alfie materializes a second bowl and hands it to Bob with a spoon.

Alfie is about to send off a Mind Spike but freezes and goes "Hold up hang on once second call time call time. We've just been calling you Kraken or the Kraken and that seems a bit disrespectful. Is there a name we can call you?"

The Kraken seems a bit surprised but the party nods in agreement.

Kraken: You can call me Mordecai. Patrick: Do you have a friend that's a raccoon? Rose: a raccoon steps out from behind Mordecai and goes "WOOOOOOOOOOH" Alfie: *has seen the Twilight and Mordecai shooting stars meme* by any chance do you know a Twilight Sparkle? Mordecai: No, I do not. Rayna: Who the hell is Twilight Sparkle? Alfie: *shifts into twilight sparkle* Oh she looks like this. She was the pony I was talking to in Ponyville. *turns back into his bird form*

And the fight continues.

Rayna gets two hits on Mordecai.

Me: Alfie sends off a mind spike. Rose: Are you going to use that on Bob? Me: No. I'm using it on Mordecai. The image of a duck with human ears appears in his mind. Mordecai: Ugh ew no why would you do that? What are you on that made you think that? Alfie: Autism. Bob: *laughs* Alfie: What's that for? Bob: He might die soon. Alfie: HEY MORDECAI! ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE? Rose: You guys are kicking his ass right now. Mordecai: That was exhilarating. Thanks for the sparring match.

The party goes to leave but Truk stays behind. Mordecai has something to tell him about the great sword he's holding. It's cursed. If he uses it too much the line between friend and foe may fade.

Bob: Can you please tell Paul to stop eating my clothes? Alfie: Paul can you not? Paul: MOOooooo *stops eating Bob's clothes* Alfie: Hey Bob, can I braid your hair? Bob: *surprised* Uh sure. No french braids please I don't like the way they feel. Patrick: Give him a french braid! Alfie: *starts braiding Bob's hair* I'm not giving him a french braid. He specifically requested me not to give him a french braid.

Alfie and Patrick both would like to learn Celestial and Rayna and Truk decide to teach them. Rayna spends her time filling them in on pronunciations and Truk just puts a hand on each of their heads. He essentially gaslights both of them into knowing how to understand and speak Celestial. It's like they always knew how. During this process Truk gets a visual of what it's like in each of their minds and his face is a mix of emotions. Confusion and fear. "Next time ask me before you touch me." says Alfie. Truk says nothing before looking to Patrick and telling him that his brain is weird having been a vast expanse of nothing with a large safe in the middle and turns back to Alfie and says "What the fuck." Alfie's brain is complete traumatized autistic adhd chaos. "It's the trauma. You know the death, the loss, the grief, the addictions-" "I am too young for this." And the party spends a moment relaxing on the beach with drinks and snacks. Bob shifts and Alfie scolds him saying that he isn't done yet and he affixes some flowers into Bob's hair and pulls out two mirrors. One handheld and a vanity mirror.

"Oh, that is quite lovely!" Alfie smiles at the compliment and music reaches the party. It's circus music. Alfie freezes and mutters under his breath that this really is like Katastrophe as he slowly turns to look at the source of the sound. On the other side of the beach is a circus.

"Please tell me they do proper maintenance and checkups on their equipment." "Of course they do." "Thank the gods."

Truk's eyes light up and he goes running to the circus. Rayna chases after him and Patrick slinkies along.

Alfie laughs at their antics feeling more at ease and snaps his fingers appearing at the carnival before everyone else with a toothy grin on his face. "I'm about to win some rigged games."

Rose: Truk you see a game that is right up your alley. Whack-a-Mole. The high score is 2 million. It was done by Bob. It's bring your own club. Truk: I'm breaking that record. *pulls out great club* Rose: You DESTROY the whack-a-mole stand. Your score is 48 billion. Me: How does Bob react to that? Rose: a single tear rolls down his cheek. Alfie: *gives him a pat on the back* Carnival worker: CONGRATULATIONS YOU BROKE THE RECORD AND FOR THAT YOU WIN THE GRAND PRIZE! Rose: the carnival worker brings out a massive teddy bear. It is 6 times your size. Truk: *clutches onto the teddy bear and cries* Truk has not had a toy in a very long time and this teddy bear looks like the one he had when he was five before his parents died. Me: Alfie is looking for a punching bag game. Rose: You see a punching bag game. Alfie: You're going to need a new one when I'm done with it. Carnival Worker: I'm sorry but Eldritch Entities are not allowed to use the punching bag. Stay away from the punching bag. Alfie: Why not? Carnival Worker: The last time that happened he launched the punching bag into the stratosphere. Rose: the carnival worker points to the ban list, and you see a photo of your great grandfather as the only one banned from this game. Alfie: Damn, we really are related. Rayna: can I try? Carnival worker: Of course. Rayna: *destroys the punching bag launching it into the sea* Carnival worker: *takes Rayna's photo and adds it to the ban list* Rayna: It's one of the perks of being the Mother of Titans. Rose: Patrick. Alfie. You see a ring toss booth. Me: we go to the ring toss booth.

The ring toss booth worker is Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel.

Patrick: What are the rules to this. Lucifer: You pay, and you get 6 rings. You have six attempts to get a ring on the red bottle. Patrick: What do we pay? Lucifer: You'll pay eventually. Alfie: Can you elaborate on that? Lucifer: You'll pay eventually! Alfie: *eldritch magic flashes in his eyes* Explain. Now. Lucifer: At some point in the future something of yours will vanish as payment. Alfie: *gets a premonition of his favorite woodworking knife vanishing from his hand in the middle of a project* I'm too autistic for that. Patrick: I'm in. Lucifer: *slides over 6 rings* Patrick: What's that over there? *pointing in the distance* Lucifer: *looks where Patrick is pointing* What is it? Patrick: *stretches his arm out and plops a ring on the red bottle* Lucifer: You won... You own my soul now. Patrick: ALFIE! What do I do with a soul? Alfie: Why do you think I know? I've never owned a soul before. I just got mine back a day ago. Patrick: I don't know? What's the protocol for this? Alfie: Bob? You've owned souls before. Wuh- what do you do with a soul? Bob: You quite literally own them and the person it belongs to. You could put the soul in an inanimate object like that bear Truk has. Truk: *approaches the party with a tear-stained face* I won this. Alfie: *to Truk* That's awesome! Patrick: Just give me your soul, I guess? Rose: He hands his soul over to you. It looks like a rubber duck. The party: Oh no... Rose: Patrick you now own Lucifer's soul.

Rayna looks for a shooting game and finds one. She shoots the furthest target, it explodes in a shower of splinters, and she keeps the gun as her prize.

Finally, Alfie spots one of his favorite carnival games.

Ski Ball

And Alfie is a beast at ski ball.

The high score is 2 billion.

Alfie: Bob is that your record? Bob: Please no it's all I have left. Rayna: Those were your only records? Bob: Well, there's my darts record but that isn't as impressive. 500. The people in Finkelberg suck at darts.

Alfie smirks "Bob, I challenge you to a game of ski ball. If you win your record stays intact. If I win, I get bragging rights for all eternity. Do we have a deal?" and he holds out a hand. "We have a deal."

We decide who wins over a game of highest roll. On the first roll we tie. Double twenties. We need a tie breaker. me: *rerolls and starts laughing* the dice really wanted me to break his record. *more laughter* I got another nat 20. Rose: Bob rolled a 17. His high score is crushed. Bob: *looking dejected* Me: Alfie smiles and casts minor illusion on the score board so it looks like his record remains unbroken. Bob: Thank you, my friend. Alfie: You've got to stop saying that to me- wait you just called me your friend? Bob: *nods*

A friendship bracelet appears on Bob's wrist. "When did you make a friendship bracelet- it's purple?" "Of course it is!" "You... know my favorite color?"

Quinn questions why they don't have a friendship bracelet.

A friendship bracelet leaps out of Alfie's bag of holding and coils itself around Quinn's wrist.

Patrick runs because he doesn't know what's happening.

And from a lone circus tent floats a single red balloon. Patrick grabs it cuz "oh shiny" and out comes Pennywise. "Do you want to float?"

Alfie: way ahead of you *starts floating*

[gotwcird]

it's funny how many things star has learned about herself just within this first hour of having sex with nico. it's a small realization she has when she moans again because he pulls on her hair, makes her shiver with a pleasure she's quickly enjoying more of. uses it to egg on her sloppy movements, to chase the bits of friction she can reach against the blanket between her legs. ( barely computes the hand he places against her heart, going rabbit-like in how it's beating. ) other things she's learned: she can cum very hard, she likes when he fucks her rough, and apparently she enjoys giving blowjobs. that the feeling of him jerking his hips up high, breaching deeper into her throat, is making her impossibly wet and needy. that when she gags softly around him, she's also clenching, wriggling her hips to chase any kind of relief.

her saliva that's coating him is viscous, slick and new to her, plus makes things easier too. she's bobbing her head quick around him, sucking hard and trying to remember how to breathe. would be curious about the newness of it if she wasn't buzzed from his cock and the way he's cursing out her name. feels like she's reached sainthood and become a demon at the same time because of how he's reacting to her. he's so loud, so reactive. so unlike his usual restricted movements that her eyes don't want to blink. she wants to drink every sound and reaction from him. is enjoying how he's tugging on her, pushing and pulling and bringing him deeper into her warmth that she doesn't realize he's cumming until the heat of his seed hits the back of her throat. her eyes widen — excited, surprised, needy — as she takes all of him. suctions her mouth to make sure none of it escapes as she swallows him down, feels his cock twitch and writhe in her mouth while he pushes her. byeol complies too, even if she needs to take deep breaths.

she pulls her mouth up from his length slowly, makes sure she's swallowed everything as she reaches his tip below letting his softening dick go with a pop of her mouth. can't even deny at this point that she liked that. liked his taste and how it overtook all her senses for a bit — clean with a little edge and somehow still pleasant. star is looking up at him eagerly, heart jumping giddily when he speaks again. "really?" it's slightly ridiculous how that statement pleases her. how she, with her limited and rusty skills, could make him feel so good that he's still reeling from it. that she had enough of an effect on him that he has been moaning out her name in unbridled ecstasy and relief. ( all of which she'll probably think to again and again, will probably rub herself raw to the memory. )

"was it good?" she asks a little clumsily, part of the words breathed softly as she crawls up from her position. his confession is enough, but she wants to hear him say more. praise her again and again, sate that selfish little thing in her chest that's come out to play in full force since her first orgasm. she lays on top of nico, revels in the heat that he's emanating. "did you feel good?" breathes the words onto his lips as her hands go up to run through his hair. kisses him tenderly, maybe even a little chaste, wants to let him pull her deeper if he desires. notices that in the moment too: that she likes when he pushes, when he takes what he wants from her. that he could do whatever to her, use her however he pleases, and she'd still say thank you. "you taste really nice."

THE MOAN SHE LETS OUT when he pulls her hair . . he notes that . he wants that . he never thought she'd even like the idea of hair pulling or the aspect of anything rough and now it's becoming more clear to him that he couldn't have been more wrong . he bookmarks it . locks it in his brain . reminds himself to talk to her about it later and ask her everything everything everything . he uses her moan as an allowance and tugs her hair back again , with more care this time though . CAUTIOUS .

NICO NOTES THE WAY SHE MOVES . his eyes zero in on her , past her mouth , to see the way her hips move and oh god . yeah . yes . he's going to spend a lot of time there later . he's going to do anything she wants . he's going to bury his head between her legs and devour her , if she'll let him . his hand slides from her cheek down , down , down . past her neck . to her chest . open palm he slides it against her sternum , feeling her erratic heartbeat there . " do that again . " he lets out, voice raspy . his eyes aren't talking about her on his cock anymore . rather the opposite . no he's looking at HER . at the way she tries to pleasure herself . at the way she sounds and looks when she's squirming in desire . he could watch her do just that all night if she let him .

his entire body is a hot coil . he's twisting and turning , gasps leaving his mouth unceremoniously now , building higher and higher . it's unrestrained , almost animalistic of him as he jerks his hips up again , sliding his cock deeper into her mouth . SHE FEELS SO GOOD . SO GOOD . SO GOOD . he pants desperately , his entire body flexing and unflexing . when she slides back , he watches her with earnest and passion . then . . . " ohmyfuckinggod. STAR . " he wants to repeat her name on and on , repeat it until she realises what she's done to him . he wants to thrust more and more . he wants to bury his cock in her . he wants to keep going . . . he doesn't know how he'll ever stop now that he knows what the inside of her and her mouth feels like . all pink and soft and warm and " fucking hell . " if possible she looks even better as she sucks on the tip of him . he lets out a groan so loud and unrestrained that he knows he'd be embarrassed in any other situation . his hands cling to her hair , gripping at her . pulling . tugging . pushing . giving and taking . he nods insistently as she whispers those sweet words , asking for him to cum and it sounds so magical and sweet from her lips . it sounds so good that he -

he feels himself tip over . he twitches and jerks and suddenly heat washes over him in waves and waves , as if trying to drown him . he isn't sure what he says . he isn't sure what he even sounds like . only that he's calling out her name , saying yes over and again , murmuring that he's orgasming . that he's cumming . and he does . he does . he feels himself empty inside of her mouth and he doesn't have the capacity to feel as bad as he probably should . his hips twist up and up , at the same time his hands gently push , because he feels so beyond sensitive and raw . nico can feel a sheen of sweat on him , twisting in her sheets . he exhales long and slow and reopens his eyes to look down at her , still between his legs . so close to his now softening cock . " i - i don't think i've ever cum that hard in my life . " he lets out , voice weak.

[crinkled-emotions]

Day 30: "We're going to the hospital; end of discussion"

-

-

The knock at the door startled Phoenix from where she’d been eating ice-cream and dozing in front of the TV, finally done with training for the day. It had been a longer one than usual with Rooster out for the day, Hangman a little more asshole-ish than usual and Coyote had decided it was better to egg him on than try to get him to shut up. Maverick hadn’t been present either- unusual.

At least she had Bob, Payback and Fanboy.

She kicked off her blanket, leaving the ice cream on the coffee table to go and see what was going on. A quick check through the peephole had her groaning and whipping the door open.

“Rooster no, you’re contagious-“

“-Tash, please.”

He looked like shit. His eyes darted anywhere but at her and she could hear him talking a million miles an hour but none of it was really registering.

“Fuck, what did you do? Roo- c’mere. It’s okay.”

Phoenix hesitantly reached out to put her hands on his bare arms, frowning at the way he was burning up in the cool evening air. The shaking didn’t seem to stop when she pulled him into a hug, hand going up to confirm the fever. The second she made contact with his forehead she recoiled, going inside to grab her jacket, phone, wallet and keys before pulling the door shut behind them. Rooster’s brows furrowed when she took him by the arm, taking him toward her car.

“Where we goin’?”

That was the first thing he’d said that made sense.

“Hospital; end of discussion. Work with me here- wait. What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna throw up.”

He’d stopped his feverish muttering and sat up straighter with a grimace, hands tightening in the fabric of his stained sweatpants. Phoenix had seen him when he was drunk, she knew this move.

“Fuck- wait!”

Of course she’d cleaned her car the day before and none of the plastic bags usually on the floor were present, nor did she even have a shopping bag. She leapt out of the driver’s seat and rounded the car, yanking the passenger door open so Rooster could dry reach into the concrete of her driveway.

“Just breathe,” Phoenix soothed, tucking her own hair behind her ear and then turning away when she heard Rooster start to dry heave. She shifted, rubbing her hand over his back while he panted.

“You good?” She asked after a moment.

“Fuck no- ugh. Sorry, Tash-“

Phoenix squeezed her eyes shut when Rooster doubled over again and she felt the gag take over his body. After a minute she felt his breathing start to settle.

“I’m done,” Rooster said quietly, his voice hoarse, “sorry about your driveway.”

“Don’t sweat it; I can hose it off later. Can you hold off until we get to the emergency room?”

“Yeah.”

The way he sucked in a breath and forced himself to slowly exhale told her they’d better hurry up anyway. She ducked back into the house and grabbed a handful of plastic bags, tossing them into Rooster’s lap when she got into the driver’s side of her car. He shuddered, nervously glancing between Phoenix and his car door. She reached over, gently touching his shoulder.

“Close your eyes; it’ll help with your nausea.”

“I’ll do anything at the moment, this fuckin sucks.”

Phoenix winced sympathetically, keeping her hand on his shoulder as she back on to the street and headed for the nearest hospital.

-

It was lucky they were only in the car for fifteen minutes or so. By the time Phoenix pulled into a carpark Rooster was still and silent, eyes closed. Phoenix switched off her car and gently put a hand on the back of his neck.

“You need a minute?”

She’d never suggest going to get a wheelchair, but a part of her hoped he’d drop the macho bullshit and ask for a hand getting inside. Instead he shook his head and opened his door, pulling himself out. Phoenix grabbed one of the plastic bags, tucking it into her pyjama pants waistband and going around to loop his arm over her shoulders. If she didn’t offer he couldn’t complain, right?

“I’m good,” he murmured. It sounded like he was attempting to convince himself more than he was trying to convince her, but Phoenix wasn’t going to call him out on it. She’d seen his stubborn ass stumble home on more than one occasion whether it was because he didn’t know his limits or he’d done something dumb at work, he had the willpower of the Daggers combined when he had his head screwed on.

“Sure, dude. C’mon, let’s get you inside. Give me a little warning if you’re gonna-“

“-don’t say it-“

“-eject.”

He snorted and Phoenix smirked.

“Lean on me, don’t do a Bagman.”

Together they headed for the hospital’s emergency department entrance. Rooster remained quiet and Phoenix kept her eyes on the door as she tried not to think about her driveway. As they stepped into the comfortable air of the hospital, empty considering it was barely eight at night, Phoenix glanced up at her friend.

“Wait; why did you show up on my doorstep?”

“Mav wasn’t answering his phone.”

Phoenix’s brows furrowed and she got Rooster on to a seat, taking his Navy ID from him.

“I’ll go get you checked in, is there anything you want me to tell them?”

“No, you’re good.”

“Who’s your NOK?”

Rooster’s eyes slowly drifted up to her and Phoenix groaned.

“You never changed it after you broke up? Dumbass. We’ll talk about that later.”

She headed over to the desk and checked Rooster in, wincing when the concierge told her it could be a couple hours before they were let in unless something drastically changed. Phoenix glanced over her shoulder at Rooster, half asleep upright in his seat, and grimaced.

“Hey- you know those puke bags behind you? I’m gonna need ‘em.”

-

Phoenix: Hey Mav, are you home?(sent 8:14pm)

Phoenix: I could use your help (sent 8:15pm)

-

Next, Rooster’s... next of kin situation.

-

Phoenix: operation fuck (sent 8:16pm)

Hangman: what? (sent 8:30pm)

Phoenix: you’re Rooster’s nok (sent 8:31pm)

Hangman: not since he left me in the dust (sent 8:32pm)

Phoenix: you were in Florida? (sent 8:33pm)

Hangman: sand then (sent 8:41pm)

Hangman: what’s going on (sent 8:41pm)

Phoenix: he’s really sick (sent 8:43pm)

-

She could hear the Texan huff Hangman did when he got frustrated but not enough to start arguing. While she waited for Hangman to gather his thoughts she checked her texts with Maverick only to find radio silence. He did that sometimes, but he hadn’t been at work that day either; Cyclone had taken their class which had really started the day the wrong way.

-

Hangman: look that sucks but I’m not coming (sent 8:50pm)

Phoenix: thought as much (sent 8:51pm)

Hangman: you get it right? (sent 8:53pm)

Phoenix: sure (sent 8:55pm)

Hangman: you don’t have to get it, he probably said it was the other way around (sent 9pm)

Phoenix: I don’t want to get into it with you Jake (sent 9:01pm)

Hangman: of course you don’t (sent 9:09pm)

-

Phoenix was startled from her doze when Rooster sat up, the pressure on her shoulder relieved when he suddenly put his head in his hands. Phoenix put a hand on his back, sighing as she rubbed over his shirt in gentle circles.

“You good?”

He made a noise that told her that was a negative and she grabbed one of the plastic emesis bags she’d collected from the concierge, glancing around before spotting a bathroom.

“C’mon, up, there’s kids around. Move.”

Between them they managed to get him, Phoenix’s hand firmly curled around his bicep (as much as she could) as she shoved the bathroom door open and locked it behind them. Rooster sat on the toilet seat, taking deep breaths as his foot tapped against the linoleum flooring. Phoenix leaned on the sink, brandishing the plastic bag to her friend.

“Get it up, c’mon.”

His fingers tightened, making the plastic crinkle. Phoenix turned her head when she heard him dry heave, wincing at the spitting and the coughing.

“Hey, I’m gonna- wait outside.”

She slipped out of the bathroom, standing guard in front of the door. For a bathroom it was soundproofed well. Other people waiting to be seen by a doctor regarded at her warily. Phoenix waved them off.

“When you gotta go you gotta go, right?”

That seemed to get their attention off her and she sighed, checking her phone again to see if Maverick had responded. He’d rigged a satellite out at the hangar so he had cell reception out there now but even after the Dagger mission he occasionally disappeared to places without phone reception with very little warning. He’d give Rooster a heads up when he could but other than that sometimes the team were left in the dark as to his whereabouts. She didn’t have a reply, or even the little read displayed under her text. The bathroom door opened and Rooster appeared, clearing his throat.

“Could you... get me some water?”

“Sure thing.”

Phoenix ambled over to the vending machine while he made his way back to their seats, crossing his arms over his stomach protectively. Phoenix checked her purse for gum on the way back, finding the last stick in the pack which she considered a godsend.

“Here.”

She passed the gum and water over, wincing as she put a hand to his forehead.

“You’re on fire, Roos.”

“Did you get a hold of Mav?”

“No, should I?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Phoenix’s brows furrowed but she didn’t press it, instead leaning back in her seat. Rooster reached for his phone and started scrolling through TikTok. Phoenix snorted, leaning on his shoulder when she saw one that caught her eye.

“Wait, go back. Is that Omaha and Halo?”

They watched for a moment, exchanging a look. Rooster smirked to himself, sharing the video to the group chat where Omaha and Halo vehemently denied making it. Now that he’d caused a little chaos he was looking a little calmer.

“How are you feeling?” Phoenix asked softly. Rooster grimaced.

“Nauseous.”

“I can imagine. I’m gonna go talk to the concierge, I’m worried about you getting dehydrated. Keep working on that water.”

-

It was another hour before Rooster was finally called back. The nurse, a new grad by the looks of it, incorrectly assumed Phoenix was Rooster’s wife and they jumped to explain themselves earning an uncomfortable moment. When the doctor joined them in the exam bay she had a quick look at Rooster’s stats then what the nurse had given her. Finally, she glanced up.

“Hi Lieutenant Bradshaw, I’m Dr Reid. What’s brought you in tonight?”

“I’ve been puking since 6am.”

The doctor frowned.

“Alright, let’s have a look. Are you okay if your friend stays?”

“I’d prefer it if she did. I... hate hospitals.”

It finally occurred to Phoenix that this hospital was probably the one his mom had passed in. She reached for his arm, fingers circling around his wrist.

“Roos, I didn’t think. Is this the-“

“-yeah. It’s fine.”

The doctor glanced between them.

“Am I missing something?”

“My mom died here. I was fifteen.”

No matter how many times Phoenix had heard Rooster talk about his mom’s premature passing it still hurt. He kept it clinical, borderline cold as a defence mechanism, tired of the I’m sorry’s or the I had no idea’s; both of which Phoenix had already blurted at some point.

“That must bring back some unwelcome memories. If you need to step out please let me or one of the nurses know and we can get you some air. What were you doing yesterday, did you eat anything that might have been off, did you feel more tired than usual?”

Phoenix propped herself up on the side of the bed, watching Rooster and the doctor work through the symptoms. She had no idea he’d taken the day off since he was this sick- he was having PT on his back so she figured he’d gone in for scans again. She kept her hand on his arm, keeping an eye on the curtain just in case Maverick had finally read her texts.

“So, Bradley, I can see that you’ve got a fever and you’ve been vomiting every hour or so for over twelve hours which unfortunately is standard with the stomach flu going around this year. What I’d like to do is get you some anti-emetics and we’ll give you some fluids, then I’m going to come back and check on you in a couple hours to give them time to settle. If that helps we’ll give you anti-emetics to take home and you can rest in your own bed as I assume the anxiety of being here probably isn’t helping. What do you think about that?”

“He gets the stomach flu every year like clockwork, this doesn’t feel like the normal routine,” Phoenix said. The doctor agreed.

“There’s been a new strain going around recently.”

Phoenix felt Rooster shift over so they weren’t touching but the doctor waved him off.

“You’ve been together long enough it’s likely she’s already got it. Don’t think about it too hard.”

Phoenix shrugged.

“Shit happens.”

“Too true.”

Dr Reid tapped away for another couple of seconds, then glanced up.

“Bradley, are you still nauseous?”

“Worse.”

She offered him the pink emesis basin and Phoenix turned away.

“I’ll get the meds ready and ask the nurses to set up an IV for fluids. We’re going to focus on rehydration and making sure that you can sleep without feeling nauseous.”

It was at this moment that Rooster’s phone started buzzing on the table and Phoenix scooped it up, eyebrows raising.

“Roos, it’s Mav. Do you want me to take it?”

“Yeah.”

He doubled back over the basin and Phoenix followed the doctor out of the exam bay, closing the curtain behind her and answering the call.

“Hey, Mav.”

-

“Phoenix, what’s going on? Is Bradley alright?”

Phoenix could hear the worry in his voice and she checked her watch, realising it was almost midnight.

“Uh, no, he’s... it’s a stomach flu, so he’s going to be okay, but it’s fucking with his head. Apparently he tried calling you?”

“Tash, I’m not in San Diego right now. Penny and I went on vacation, remember?”

It came back in flashes; hanging shit on Maverick for taking his first vacation in... ever, shortly followed by hanging shit on Hangman because he also didn’t know what a vacation was.

“Oh, shit, Mav, I’m so sorry I completely forgot. What time is it where you are?”

“Don’t worry about that. Is he awake- what hospital are you at?”

She could hear Maverick shuffling around, probably filling Penny in. Phoenix sighed.

“Mav, you don’t need to come back, I’m here and he’s probably going to be okay- hey, did you know Hangman is still Rooster’s nok?”

“I figured. Are you sure you don’t need me to come back?”

Something told Phoenix he wanted to come back but not because Rooster was tossing cookies again. Maverick wasn’t exactly the relaxing type.

“I’m sure. Doctor said it’s something new... also known as hell. I’ll stay with him; god knows I’ve probably already got it too.”

“He’s lucky to have you, ‘Nix.”

“Oh trust me, I know.”

Maverick snorted in amusement, sighing.

“Okay, just- call me if anything changes, and take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

They finished up the call then Phoenix tucked Rooster’s phone into her waistband and opened the curtain, sending him a sympathetic look.

“Good?”

“Come sit.”

Phoenix sat on the end of his hospital bed, offering him the water sitting on the table.

“Where’s Mav?” Rooster asked quietly. Phoenix hummed.

“Uh... vacation, if you can believe it.”

Rooster frowned.

“I forgot.”

“Me too, we must have been too busy hanging shit on Bagman.”

Rooster nodded. The curtain was pulled back and a different nurse came in.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, let’s get your fluids going and I have some anti-nausea medication for you. Just let it sit under your tongue and dissolve.”

She passed over the medication and Rooster did as told. Phoenix moved to give the nurse room, reaching for his arm.

“Oh, what great veins... sorry!”

Phoenix and Rooster smiled at the nurse’s reaction to his inner elbows, instead working on getting the drip set up. Once it was done she politely exited, leaving Rooster and Phoenix to their own devices.

“Nap?” Phoenix suggested. Rooster nodded.

“What about you?”

“I’ll be here.”

-

When Dr Reid’s rounds came up again at 8am Rooster was antsy to get out and Phoenix couldn’t say she blamed him. When Dr Reid walked in Phoenix was texting and Rooster was working his way through a carton of applesauce that had appeared out of nowhere.

“This looks good. How’s that applesauce going?”

She glanced over his stats and Rooster shrugged.

“The anti-nausea meds are working but we’ll see what happens when I go home.”

Phoenix stood.

“Are we good to head home, doc?”

“I think so.”

The doctor also checked for a fever, a smile spreading across her lips.

“Bradley I’m satisfied that you’re through the worst of it, how do you feel about going home?”

Phoenix glanced at Rooster for confirmation and he was already moving to get the paper gown off so he could put on real clothes. Phoenix caught him at the last second.

“You’re gonna need a fresh set, wait here and I’ll see if Bob can drop some off. Do you want anything else?”

Rooster shook his head so she squeezed his hand, grabbing her phone.

“Back in a sec.”

-

Bob was leaning against his truck when Phoenix got out to the hospital parking lot, brows furrowed.

“Remind me again how you ended up here?”

“Don’t ask. Hangman has a pressure washer right?”

“Think so- why do you need a pressure washer?”

Phoenix grimaced. Her poor driveway. She took the bag of clothes from her wizzo, sighing as she leaned against the truck. Bob glanced down at her.

“Bad?”

“Rooster’s going to be fine, he’s just...”

Bob frowned when she trailed off.

“Just?”

“This is the hospital his mom died in.”

Bob winced.

“Ouch. Do the staff know?”

“Yeah. I think he’s just trying not to hurl everywhere more than anything.”

Bob’s lips twitched upward and he bumped his shoulder against hers.

“What are your plans for when he’s discharged?”

“I’ll probably stay with him for the rest of the day, but I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

Bob’s eyes suddenly lit up and he reached into his truck, producing a takeaway coffee cup.

“I forgot; for you.”

Phoenix burst out laughing.

“You’re the best.”

-

By the time Phoenix was pulling into the driveway at Rooster’s he was almost back to his usual self, laughing and giving her shit. They headed inside and paused in the doorway, sharing a look at the messy state of his house. It was very out of character. He winced, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, uh, I forgot that happened-“

“-you want me to get the kitchen?”

Honestly, Rooster knew he took Phoenix for granted a majority of the time but she was kind of the best person in his life at that moment.

“How are you feeling? That was kind of... a lot.”

Despite their agreement to split up Rooster still followed her into the kitchen and started gathering dishes while Phoenix wiped down counters. He shrugged.

“I don’t feel sick anymore so that’s a win, I guess.”

“And... being in the hospital?”

“The nurse didn’t stick me multiple times-“

“-Bradley. Roos, hey.”

Phoenix put the cloth down and wiped her hands, touching his arm.

“You know I’m not going to judge, right? Your past is none of my business and all I want to do is make sure you’re okay.”

His shoulders relaxed and he leaned on the counter.

“I tried to avoid that place for so long. It happened so fast, y’know? One minute she was there and she was fine but then she was sick and she was gone.”

“You never talk about it.”

He blew out a breath.

“Well, uh, fifteen was a long time ago. I remember Mav had been on deployment but then I came home from school one day and he was standing on the grass waiting for me. Mom was waiting for me in the living room and she just started crying. My mom- she was a crier, yeah, but not... like this.”

Phoenix stayed quiet, watching Rooster process it.

“She laughed it off after that and said she was just being dramatic. Mav went back to wherever he was supposed to be and mom kept working as long as she could but I could tell.”

Phoenix swallowed.

“One morning I woke up and mom told me to call the Kazansky’s. I think Ice called Mav, I have no idea how he got there so fast. He had to tell me that- um. It wasn’t good. I don’t... she kept repeating that she loved me and I was going to be okay. She was gone before I could even really think about it.”

“Oh fuck, Roos, I’m so sorry.”

“I already lost my dad, I guess I thought I was immune to losing my mom too. Then I nearly lost Mav... three times, and I had no idea about the first one.”

“Have you ever thought about trying therapy? I hear therapy is great. You’d really benefit from it.”

The joke landed exactly as Phoenix hoped it would, refocusing Rooster’s eyes and he chuckled, reaching to pull her into a hug.

“Thanks.”

They stood there for a moment, then Phoenix gently pushed.

“This is great and all, but you need a shower before I hug you again.”

“Can you not burn me when I literally just got out of hospital?”

“That’s my job, Bradshaw. C’mon, off you go. I’ll finish up down here.”

-

The knock at the door was unexpected. Phoenix glanced at her best friend who groaned.

“Yeah, I know, I’m goin’.”

He stood, rounding the couch and going down the hallway.

“Mav. Uh, hey, don’t get too close, I don’t want to-“

Then it went quiet and Phoenix frowned, glancing over the back of the couch.

“Roo? Mav?”

She didn’t get a response and stood from her spot on the armchair, finding them in the doorway. Maverick had Rooster in a tight hug and it looked like Rooster wasn’t backing out of it any time soon. Phoenix smiled.

“You good, kid?”

“Better.”

-

[the-firebird69]

Bob Seger - if I Were Carpenter - 1972

Here's another Carpenter and my mom was watching him and she do similar stuff and I learned it from her is wicked but it works and where is a good guys and it covers Us

Hera my husband's a real Carpenter and his brother too and my dad was of course but these guys have built things that are amazing and you'll see it if you see the castle it's beautiful and he made it for me

It's like a clever bird like an eagle making a nest for his wife for the eggs and hatch legs each and every stick is laying carefully and some birds are better at it

Zues

It's our bird and he's a head bird of all of us he's got a lot of jokes and laughing at it he says that bald eagle we have a head guys he's a little hair and oxygen. But he is a terrific Carpenter and a master builder he's one of us and he's one of the best and he ranks up there as one of the highest and you'll see it too it's an amazing structure and it's a huge complex and everybody wants a piece to threaten they say and they're trying to find them now

hardcastle Frank Castle yeah she got ahead of me in the name thing there

We are in trouble we saw it she went pulled right in front it's like the queen when she used to race and Sarah kind of sucks at it no she's like number three and she's getting up there and racing is something that women can be real good at it it's kind of a weird sport in our son did miss it right away our son admits it just is a strange thing you have controls and you have to stop for moving around and you have to concentrate just like when you have kids and crawling all over you you're carrying them you can't drop them you can't drop anything on them also it's a rules and they're good and many things that kind of point to it and staying safe. This is a great analogy it's kind of crude but it's for you guys here so you understand that's what he did

Duke nukem Blockbuster

He also says we're going to leave in an egg or something I don't really like that but okay

Hera well he is I'm going to have my character there

Olympus

She's going to be in the house with him but he'll be the protected shell is different

Thor Freya

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

I took a day or so off because of life factors and now it’s a rainy Saturday and I’m gonna at least watch a few episodes and give some reactions to random stuff as well as note things I forgot or didn’t notice before. I at some point will stop doing an intro since I don’t think anyone is reading these consistently.

1.) I forgot El really just starts this episode back at the last time we saw her in episode 1, like almost a full year before season 2 starts.

2.) honestly I’d forgotten this sequence in general of her reaching through the placenta hole in the wall and then making it bigger.

3) I especially forgot that Mike kind of saw her through the window while agents are trying to get him to talk and he just keeps staring at the window like a dipshit

4.) I love this comically large tree that El can hide under that no one checks.

5.) Jonathan still does scrambled eggs and toast as a speciality

6.) Erica exists now

7.) the montage of the costumes us so cute

8.) Mike being a little bit racist

9.) I forgot literally no one else dressed up

10.) hopper is still very sweet and patient about Will when talking to Joyce

11.) I don’t care about these guys in the lab even though I probably should care about them fixing a power issue

12.) I fully understand where Nancy is coming from and I hate that at this point the Hollands are wasting their time and money and are tearing themselves looking for Barb when she will never come home. That being said, Steve isn’t wrong here. There is a shadowy agency that literally killed a man and covered it up as a suicide and covered up Will’s disappearance with a fake body that resulted in a funeral. They could really put themselves and others in danger. And something not fully discussed in this scene is: literally what would they even say? “hey, long story short, your daughter was killed by a creature from another dimension and her body is still there but you can’t talk to anyone about it or get her back or anything. Anyway, thanks for the McDonald’s.” Like that would be worse and they probably would not believe it anyway.

13.) Steve doesn’t even say forget forever, he asked to pretend to be normal on Halloween for one night

14.) I adore Max and if I’d known her in middle school, I’d desperately want to be her friend

15.) ok but how did el go from not knowing what half of food is to knowing how to skin and cook a squirrel? Like who taught her to do that? Her skill level varies wildly

16.) Billy is the fucking woooooooooooooorst and if he hadn’t died in season 3, it would have been something I did on my own in fanfic. People wanting to save him is crazy to me. He literally ran a bunch of kids off the road with his speeding car as one of the first things in the show!!!

17.) Jonathan not seeing what his mom likes bob is kind of hilarious to me because there’s a non insignificant chance that’s what he’s like when he’s 40

18.) still love Jonathan and will being adorable bros

19.) why is Billy so greasy???? Did he lather in baby oil before doing a keg stand???

20.) It was Nancy’s idea to go to this stupid party in the first place but now that she’s going with Steve instead of Jonathan, its a chore. Like ma’am you could have stayed home or insisted on doing some other normal thing. And by you, I mean the Duffers could have made up their minds

21.) bob and Joyce dancing in the living room is so cute

22.) every time max appears on screen I grin and whisper, ‘that’s my girl’, especially when she jump scares boys

23.) hop broke a promiseeeee but also that small child was only out there for hopper to buy candy off of

24.) max lives on Old Cherry Road

25.) Mike hating Max for no damn reason is so annoying

26.) jump scared right into the upside down

27.) Jonathan shows up to the party. Forgot that happened.

28.) all Steve was trying to do was stop Nancy from giving herself alcohol poisoning and he did apologize. But then she shatters his heart.

29.) Steve did leave her at the party which sucks but idk how I would be able to do anything else if someone called me a killer and said our love was bullshit

30.) I forgot El visits Mike through the void

31.) oh hi demodog. I remembered you were found in a trash can but not that you technically show up in episode 2, although not like seen by the audience

[infernalapparatus]

KARLACH ' S EYES ROLLED BACK SO FAR SHE NEARLY SAW HER BRAIN . Or, what was left of it, hoofing through the Hells for the past however many years it had been. Felt like a hundred. It wasn't, but damn near felt like it. Day in and day out of this bullshit, on a leash held by one form of devil or another.

This time around, it was in Mizora's clawed, crafty hand, and she almost hated it more. ALMOST. She only gave about a quarter of her attention to Mizora, while the rest of it went towards the gushing wound of her arm. Blood spilling out from the recent bite of a gnoll, and she had a soaking bandage in her hand that she kept wrapping tighter and tighter. But it was no use, because the damn thing continued to bleed. She was on her last straw, ready to cauterize it, just to get it to stop. What was another burn, another scar? Most of her body was damn near scorched in one point or another. It was a miracle she could still grow hair at all.

" Yeah, yeah. Prolly lost all interest in sexual intimacy when she found out how shitty you were at giving head, I'd reckon. Makes you a real right tit for that. " She disrespectfully stabs again, taking any chance she can to grind her gears. She didn't quite frankly give even a single shit as to how Mizora climbed the ranks into Zariel's inner circle. WHO WOULD CARE ANYWAY ? But making these assumptions always seemed to bite in just the right way, so she was sure to keep it up.

Then, suddenly, the cambion laid her hands on Karlach before she could shove her away. Snatching at her wrist and dragging her arm up, while her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Her tail thrashed as her other hand reached for her axe - but hesitated. MIZORA POINTED OUT SOMETHING HORRIFYING .

" Let me the fuck go - " She snarls, ripping her arm back, but her eyes are wide and filled with anxiety. Two of her fingers were completely numb and the rest of it burned - but she saw how her tendons twitched and something, something long and something slimy, wriggled just beneath the flesh. A HELLISH PARASITE . Her throat bobs thickly as her fingers grasp at the skin, her own claws already digging into the very burning flesh as a thought washes over her. To claw it out of her own skin.

Uncomfortable eyes shift to the cambions finger, and all previous rage was replaced by a nauseated feeling. Eggs. Damn eggs in the teeth of the gnolls, the one who took a fine chomp out of her arm. EGGS THAT WERE VERY LIKELY PULSING BENEATH HER VERY FLESH NOW . " Fuck . " She curses, breathlessly, and her engine thrums with nerves. " Yeah - gotta - shit , can I burn it out ? I don't know the first thing about these fuckin' things . Shit - " And she sucks in a breath, her left eye partially shutting, as her clawed right hand reaches for the gushing wound - pointed and ready to tear.

OH , GODS . Why was it that every time Mizora started to yap, Karlach ended up getting the worst headache? Splitting. Cleaving. LIKE WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO TO THE DEVIL ' S HEAD .

" Gods be damned, you just don't know when to shut up, do you? Musta gotten that from Zariel, spending all that time under her table and suckin' her off. " Karlach crudely retorts, as she glances down at the bandage in her hand - currently wrapping a nasty gash in her forearm. So damn deep it left her pinkie and ring fingers numb. Where was a healer when you needed them? IT WASN ' T LIKE SHE WOULD GO OUT OF HER WAY TO FIND HELP ANYHOW . " Was there a point to this? What, comin' to rub my nose in this like dog piss on a new bear skin rug? " She snaps, irate, but she knew where this was coming from. Karlach had a pension for pain. IT WAS BASICALLY ALL SHE KNEW AT THIS POINT. Mizora was pointing it out - either to help her (SNORE) or to infuriate her. Karlach kicked gambling years ago, but she would throw all of her coins in on the latter.

Karlach's insults were not the first time, Mizora had been confronted with the accusation that she might have somehow slept her way into Zariel's inner circle. For as long as she could remember, lesser devils in the hierarchy, other Cambions and higher devils had questioned her position as one of Zariel's right hands and her eyes upon Faerun's soil. Had Mizora been younger, she might have retaliated Karlach's insult with a swipe of her claws or even a spell.

However, as an older Cambion, she knew better. Still, even as she stared down the Tiefling, who insulted her so heinously, Mizora imagined what it was like to disintegrate that fiery hot body and lick the last tendrils of meat from her bones. Her tail flicked back and forth and she crossed her arms tightly before her chest. That arrogant Tiefling had no idea how lucky she had gotten. Yet at the same time, Karlach proved painfully that even now she knew nothing of her mistress' flight of fancy.

Swallowing her rage, Mizora said: "We know that our ladyship Zariel has no interest in sexual intimacy or in trivial conversation."

There was an urge to say more as most Cambions loved the sound of their own voice. Even Mizora was not completely free of this vice. However, arguing with a pack mule would not be worth the energy. Besides, her ladyship let acts speak more than words. Mizora made a point of following her example.

She stepped closer, her red eyes drinking in the nasty flesh wound, which Karlach had sustained during the last conflict. Her bandages quickly soaked the blood and no matter how tight the Tiefling wrapped, the wound refused to stop bleeding. As Karlach snarled at Mizora, asking if she was trying to make a point of some kind, the Cambion swiftly grabbed her wrist and forced her arm upward to properly examine the wound. Her nostrils caught the scent of rotting flesh.

"You really could not bother paying attention to what you were dealing with, couldn't you?", Mizora chastised her, "Wrapping that wound up won't do you much good. Have you not caught the stench of rot in your own flesh, Karlach? Do you not feel something squirm in your flesh? Look!"

She shoved Karlach's arm towards her. Indeed, if you looked very carefully, you could make out something long and thin squirming underneath Karlach's boiling hot flesh, bulging out the skin. Letting go of the arm, Mizora walked over to the gnoll carcass, which had a large cleave wound of a great axe coming down on the beast's skull.

Kneeling down, Mizora forced the hyena's jaws open. Jagged teeth were covered in drying blood and spit. Finally, the Cambion found what she looked for, a chipped tooth. Mizora yanked the foul tooth out and probed the hole in the maw with her fingers. Rising again, she showed Karlach a slimy mess of something gelatine-like with black dots on her fingertip. A good dozen or so eggs.

"There is a parasite in your wound, Karlach", Mizora said, "And you were such a hedon for pain that you did not even realise what the gnoll had managed to transfer to you when it bit you. We need to get that thing out of you quickly."

@infernalapparatus cont. from here.

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

DANCING IN THE DARK!

the kinds of gestures that leave you on your knees (prompt list)

gender neutral reader

content warning(s): slightly suggestive content

ISAGI YOICHI!

heavy breathing after a kiss!

Isagi’s normally so, so caring and kind. Truly the spitting image of a dreamboy, it’s undeniable that his love for you runs deeper than anything else in his life (second only to his love for soccer). But even then, there are moments when his love becomes greedy, as if there’s something darker lurking underneath the surface of his bubbly but introverted facade. It’s in these snapshots, where he’s pressing his lips against yours hungrily, hands pawing at your waist and hips, practically panting into your mouth. He swallows thickly, and his blue eyes flash with need. He wants you all to himself. He wants to taste you, burn the tingling sensation dancing on his lips into your heart, take every little bit you’re willing to give him until it feels like every part of his brain has been stuffed with you. Isagi doesn’t like letting this animalistic side of him get the better of him, but he can only deny the hungry desire inside of him for so long… 

“Fuck… Oh, god,” Isagi breathes into your mouth. He tastes sweet, like tangerines and honey, yet the way he has you clamped down onto his lap, big hands wandering all over your hips, is everything but sweet. His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and his eyes devour the sight of you with your clothes slightly disheveled and tangled in his arms. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“I could say that to you,” you laugh, weaving your fingers through his short hair. “What’s gotten into you? Normally you get all shy when you want kisses.”

“I-I don’t know…,” he chokes out. And he’s pouncing on you again—pressing his lips against yours, sucking on your bottom lip and practically shoving his tongue down your throat. The usual tentativeness to his kisses is gone, replaced with something carnal and possessive. His breathing is heavy in your ears, and he digs his fingers into your soft flesh. You can feel him grabbing at you through your clothes, acting like you’re going to disappear into thin air if he lets go.

He barely pulls himself off of you. He’s still a hair’s breadth away, and the air around the two of you is thick and hot. Crackling with a kind of unprecedented tension, Isagi gasps against your body. 

“God, I can’t get enough of you…,” he shakily chuckles. “This is all your fault. Take responsibility for me.”

ITOSHI RIN!

pulling them by their belt to kiss them!

Rin isn’t someone who’s super expressive with his love. His actions speak louder than his words: very “show, don’t tell”-esque. You have no doubts that he loves you more than anybody else in the world, but sometimes you know that you have to be the one to make the first move in order to egg him into showing you some sweetness. Whether it’s sneaking a kiss first thing in the morning or leaning against his shoulder when you sit next to him, it’s these small things that tip him into something grander. Small kisses turn into one right after another, hours passing by while the two of you disappear into your own world. Still, in his eyes, there’s something so irresistible about the way you yank him closer to you. You have him wrapped around your little finger, and you have no qualms about using that fact to its full potential. All Rin asks is that you be fully prepared for anything that happens next. You’re the one who initiated, after all.

“Why are you standing so far away?” You whine, sidling up to your boyfriend. Rin glances up from his phone, completely oblivious to you bouncing all around him. He grunts out something that you can’t quite make out, and you still huff out your cheeks dramatically to make sure that your frosty partner got the point.

“Jeez, it’s almost like you don’t want to be seen with me or anything,” you playfully scold him, wiggling your finger and everything. Rin rolls his eyes and sighs, his lower lashes fluttering as he blinks exasperatedly at you.

“What do you want me to do then? Fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness?” He mutters. You pretend to think. In all honesty, you wouldn’t be too opposed to such a thing, but you’re not sure the mental image of your usually stoic Rin groveling at your feet is something you need to see come to reality just yet.

“Nah. How about… something like this?” You reach forward, and hooking your fingers around his belt loops, you gently tug him towards you. Rin blinks in surprise, but he lets himself stumble forward towards you, his hips colliding into yours. You grin up at him, and you let him go to grab at his face, pulling him down for a quick smooch.

Rin presses his lips into a thin line when you pull away, and the light shade of pink dusting his cheeks is confirmation that your plan was a success. “You’re… so lame.”

You motion for him to lean down again, wanting another kiss. “Sure. If that’ll make you feel better, Rinnie.”

ITOSHI SAE!

losing your mind when they tilt your chin to look you in the eye!

Sae’s pride comes before anything else in his life. His bark is just as nasty as his bite, and while he cares for you deeply in his own special way, it’s clear that the reins of your relationship are in his hands. He wants you to find your own pride in knowing that you’re someone that’s special to him, yet he isn’t afraid to throw his weight around you. There’s nothing he loves more than getting you all flustered, relishing the way you can barely look at him in the eyes and acting all nonchalant as if he isn’t the one instigating all this trouble. He likes knowing that he can have that kind of effect on you, and he’ll slowly up his antics one by one just so he can watch you lose all semblance of control around it. If you confront him about it, he’ll deny it to the moon and back, but everyone knows how much he enjoys cementing his place in your heart over and over again. You should consider yourself lucky to have someone like him trying so hard for you.

Sae pauses mid-sentence, poking his eyes up from the game he was explaining to you as part of his prep for his upcoming matches. Your own eyes are half-glazed over, no doubt from doing your best to keep up with his analyses and soccer lingo despite only knowing a handful of things. It wasn’t like you were completely clueless about soccer, but most of the things you did know, you had picked up just by being close to him.

“Are you even listening?” He asks. You bob your head slightly, trying your best to indicate your interest despite your clear confusion. Sae finds it cute that you do your best to support him despite floundering around like a newborn dear. “I don’t know… You look pretty lost.”

“I’m paying attention, I promise!” You pipe up, shaking your head as if to clear your thoughts. “I mean… I can’t understand everything, but I think I kinda get it. It makes sense when you explain it. I don’t really know what I’m looking at when it’s just the game though…”

The redhead clicks his tongue as if in warning. You snap back to life, only to see him lean over to where you’re sitting next to him. Your heart threatens to stop when one of his toned hands grabs at your face. He firmly grips your chin, tilting your gaze up so that you can’t escape that pointed gaze of his. His teal eyes are enrapturing, like a hawk honing in on its next target, and you feel your voice die out in the back of your throat.

“That’s unacceptable,” he hums. You know he’s teasing you solely from his expression. The ghost of a smug smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, and he purrs at you less like he’s scolding you and more like he’s trying to elicit a reaction from you.

Flustered, you squeal out, “I-I can do better!” 

“Can you?” He repeats, clicking his tongue once more. “Show me then. Don’t disappoint me, love.”

HIORI YO!

their mouth at your ear, whispering!

Hiori likes to take things one step at a time. Relationships are a two-way road, and he likes seeing your bond with him progress with him in an equal manner. This translates to taking things slow, learning things about one another with time, and making sure everything the two of you do comes from a place of communication and respect. But even Hiori has his moments where he wants things to heat up between the two of you. He wants to see the way your eyes widen at the sight of him, your body craving his touches and his voice, drinking up the way everything about you simply meshes so deliciously well with him. It’s such a thrill to him, and it’s something he’s never felt before. He’s hooked, wanting to discover all these new feelings with you and unlocking parts of himself that he’s never known before. The rush is indescribable, and he finds himself chasing after it time and time again.

“Hiori…,” you whisper. He feels heavy on top of you, but you don’t mind. There’s something so awfully intimate about being chest-to-chest with him, limbs all tangled up, and hearts starting to beat in sync together. “Kiss me again. Please, kiss me again, Hiori.”

Hiori complies, and without another word, his mouth is on yours. His kisses are curious, soft, the warmth of his lips quickly spreading out onto your own. His face is flushed, and you can feel your pulse pounding in between your ears. He’s always had this kind of unfair effect on you, always pushing you to the brink of your own limits, but this is the first time either of you have ever really acted so impulsively on these instincts.

When he manages to yank himself away from you, Hiori rests his head next to yours. You can feel his breath fan out against your neck and the shell of your ears, and when he gasps out, the shivers that run down your spine feel nothing short of electric. 

“I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he laughs weakly. His voice is hushed, but you can still make out the dark undertones his words hold. He sounds like he’s holding himself back, the tone of his voice strained like he’s afraid of hurting you. Yet you can tell how badly he wants you, his grip on you so tight that it feels like he’s trying to imprint how you feel in his hands down to base instinct. “You make me act so strangely.”

“You do the same to me.” You wrap an arm around his chest. “Don’t hold yourself back. I want you, Hiori.”

OLIVER AIKU!

holding on by a thread before just losing control!

The last descriptors anyone would use for Aiku would be someone who can control themselves and someone who thinks before they act. Yet, despite knowing how terrible he can be, Aiku finds a way to make himself absolutely irresistible. He’s always egging you on to take these risks, to discover the worst versions of yourself that you didn’t know existed. And had you been any more clear-minded you would hate yourself, but at the same time, being with Aiku is so fun and exhilarating. It’s freeing, living the way he does, with a hedonistic thirst for life, and you understand why Aiku acts the way he does. Now that you’ve had a taste of that life, there’s no turning back, and Aiku’s more than welcome to help you let loose. There’s no need to hold onto control when he’s around; all he wants is for you to quit thinking and to let your heart and body take the reins. You don’t need to hold anything back when Aiku’s in the equation. 

“Are you sure about this….?” You ask, looking up at him with wide eyes. Aiku’s chest is broad and wide, and his shirt is slightly unbuttoned from a long night of dancing and flirting. You don’t know why he was so insistent on being with you though, turning down his usual posse of pretty girls and focused more on spending the night with you.

And you? God, you could barely keep your own paws off of him. He looked downright majestic. Stands of his hair are splayed against his forehead, slick with sweat. His chains hang from his exposed chest, and he tugs your hips against his in a silent answer.

“What are you so scared of?” He asks back in response. His odd-colored eyes gleam devilishly, and you hate the way your heart squeezes with need. You want him, and you want him now. He knows this, and his lax, playboy attitude is only making your desire worse.

His hand travels from your hips, and he traces the curves of your body. His fingers trickle up to your waist, curving against the shape of your chest and neck, and he cups your face with his big hands as he pulls you close to his face. His lips are right there, and all you need to do is tip yourself forward slightly to close the gap. 

“Don’t overthink it, angel.” His thumb traces over your bottom lip, pressing into your mouth seductively. “Don’t deny yourself what you want most.”

x

[l1tw1ck]

Bottom!FTM Alex x Top!Masc Reader

{Request} | AFAB Language Used

CW: Daddy Kink, Face Fucking, Rough Sex, Spanking, Hair Pulling, Choking, Dom/Sub, Dacryphilia, Orgasm Denial, Creampie

📝 W.C 1,103

You've been married to Alex for over a year, and everything's been great up until he started doing things that pissed you off.

He once bought dozens of eggs, even though you have your own chickens, and stuffed the fridge full of them. You had to give them out to the town while he cried about 'protein'.

Or the other time he left his workout equipment all over the house. Or when he dropped a dumbbell on the machine you were building, it was for the best, but it didn't stop you from getting mad.

You graciously let it go every time but the anger was building up. And you finally snapped when he started to flood the bathroom during his bath, the water started to slip through the door and ruin the new wood.

You open the door angrily, seeing Alex standing over the flooding tub half naked, only wearing panties and an undershirt.

You shut off the water and pick him up by his neck, slightly choking him. "You're getting on my last nerve."

Alex smirks.

"You did this all on purpose, didn't you?" You growl and drag him into the bedroom and drop him onto the bed. “Why?”

He shivers beneath you, biting his lip and looking at you with slight fear on his face. "I did.." He whispers. “I wanted you to be rough with me…”

“You want me to be rough, huh?” You pull your half hard cock out and pump it to full hardness, Alex watching intently. “Come here.”

Alex scrambles off the bed and kneels in front of you.

“Apologize.” You tease the tip of your cock on his cheek.

“I- I’m sorry, Daddy.” Alex tries to maintain eye contact.

You move your cock to his lips and he immediately opens them. “Your body should only be used to take my cock, not to annoy me.” You tug on his tank top, ripping it apart.

Alex moans, in complete agreement with you. You slide into his mouth and grip his hair, forcing yourself all the way down his throat before creating a rhythm. Tears sprout in Alex’s eyes as you ruthlessly fuck his face. He holds onto your legs tightly for balance, happily taking your cock despite the discomfort.

“See how well you're taking me? This is your only purpose.” You grin. You and Alex have already established that he's yours before anything else. Your husband, your slut, your cocksleeve. And he embraces those titles with a wide grin or a tear stained face.

He rolls his eyes back in pleasure, wanting so desperately to touch himself but knows he can't. He just kneels there and takes it like a good boy. It almost makes you want to go easier on him. Almost.

“I’m lucky I was out taking pictures,” You grin, shaking the small camera hanging on your neck. “Now I can immortalize this pretty little face. Stay still for me.” You move your hand away from his hair and onto the camera, snapping shots of his expression.

You don't take long, but for Alex it feels like he was cockwarming you forever.

“Are you hungry, sweetheart?” You ask. “You want Daddy to cum in your mouth?”

Alex moans, trying to nod.

“Work for it.”

Alex quickly gets to work, bobbing his head and deep throating you.

“Attaboy.” You groan. “Doin’ so well. ‘M already getting close.”

His cheeks flush red, batting his long, wet eyelashes as he continues sucking you off. Your words ring through his ears, the praise and your tone almost makes him come untouched.

You thrust into his mouth a few times before coming down his throat, Alex accepting it all eagerly.

You move him off you and point to the bed. “Head down, ass up.” You command. Alex scrambles onto the bed, doing exactly as you said.

You climb up behind him and pull his underwear down. “You’re drenched.” You prod your thumb against his hole. “So desperate…Such a stupid way to get what you want.” You spank him. He apologizes the best he can with his throat sore from having you fuck his mouth.

“Don't do it again, or you’ll be sleeping over at your grandparents for a few days.” You spank him again. He whines at the thought of being deprived of sex.

You spank him a few good times, until his ass is sore and any slight touch makes him squirm, before finally entering him. You don't grace him with any time to adjust, fucking into his tight warmth with hard, fast thrusts that knock the wind out of his lungs.

You wrap your hand in his hair, pulling him back to hear his moans. You snap your hips against his ass, creating obscene noises around the house. At least your bed doesn't creak anymore.

“Ah- Da- Daddy~!” He moans, drooling from how rough you're treating him. “Yes- yes-! Fee- feels so guh- good!”

You spank his sensitive ass cheek, his pussy squeezing your cock in return. He’s such a slut, you think to yourself.

“I’m yo- your who- whore, Daddy~! So clo- close~!” His eyes roll to the back of his skull, drool dribbling down his chin. You stop your movements completely, robbing him of his orgasm. “Nngh- no- Daddy? Please- please-” He starts to sob.

“Did you forget? This is a punishment.” You turn him onto his back. “You can come when I do.” You wrap your hands around his neck, giving you stability as you fuck your poor fucked out husband. You watch gleefully as tears fall down Alex’s cheeks, he's always prettiest when he's crying and taking your cock.

He manages to choke out a warning every time he feels close, earning him multiple praises and making it harder for him to not come.

“Good job, warning Daddy like a good boy.” You kiss his forehead.

Alex tells you to stop again, unable to handle your words. You pull out and jerk off over his stomach, one hand on his neck. He watches in anticipation for you to spurt over his torso and finally give him his own release, only to have that taken as you enter him again. Maybe you'll come inside instead, he giggles to himself.

You use your free hand to rub his clit, bringing him closer and closer. “Come for me, sweetheart.” You urge as your climax approaches.

Alex doesn't ask twice, legs shaking as he squirts on your cock. You fill him up soon after, warming his insides with your spend.

“That's the last time you’ll come tonight.” You promise, looking at him with an evil grin.