#BLAH.
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Point.
#personal#selfie#me#my stupid face#mirror selfie#im going to be at work all day so send anons to distract me#send anons#send asks#tell me stuff#girls with tattoos#single#blah.#idk what else to tag
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Each and every day, I feel more and more like someone who will never fit in with those in the wider industry.
I feel as, once I lose my job, that will be it for me. I will have no ledge to fall back onto. I'm just too out of place here. I don't really fit in with industry artists. I don't even fit in with a majority of those whom I work with. And it's not on any of them, I'm just too different a person.
It's a lonely circumstance.
#ramble#blah.#there's an air to industry artists as a whole that I don't seem to share all that much. it's very different. much more refined than me.#and I can't match it#I don't fit in with indie artists either. I'm just. meh.#it's not elitism. I just think I don't bring much to the table myself...#and so I'm just. there.#I don't fit in any world honestly.
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the problem with my job is that i was semi-promoted to a different title 1.5 years ago BUT since apparently nobody can teach chemistry and i had a lot of grade 12s who were attached to me...i kept teaching and doing coordinator jobs when needed. and now because the ed director quit my boss doesn't want to hire more people that she has to pay more (my opinion but like...idk her reasoning) but because i already technically have the coordinator title i am not being promoted i am just not going to teach anymore? and the framing of it makes me feel crazy. i am going to ask for a raise on monday when i'm back but i feel insane about it because of the way she told me e was quitting and framed my choices which was only be a teacher vs. only be a coordinator.
#note#blah.#i have school tomorrow and i am so exhausted and we have like 6 quizzes#and everyone is in bad mood#and i also might just quit#but like. who knows.
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sick with anxiety today … no … !!!
#tal.png#blah.#i hate it when this happens like.#i am going into london for the progress show later and just UGH
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writers block is so bad… having a 9-5 (well an 8-4) is slowly sucking the life out of me 💔
#and im not getting paid that much for this shit either. wtf.#lets all pray i get through this#its like i have the desire to write but no specific ideas or energy to settle on one#blah.
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Finally! I have found another Scoutpauling shipper in the wild!!! I am not alone in this barren wasteland!
Stumbled across some of your fics in the wild too, and they're sweet! I hope to soon help refill the ship tag since it looks like you've been doing it all alone for a while. Singlehandedly keeping that tag afloat, I commend your efforts!
I feel like I should say more, but all my brain is doing is vibrating wildly at finding someone else in current year who loves those two dorks as much as me!
OMG YESS. VERY ODD BUT so many scoutpauling shippers have said virtually the same thing to me abt thinking they were alone LOL...
AND YES. been working hard 4 my otp ty for noticing PFF (thanks as well for the kind words about my fics! im not as self-assured when it comes to my writing ability, so its nice to know ppl like them :,,3)
i really look forward to seeing new scoutpauling art!!! always great seeing someone new contribute to the cause >:D
#ask#fivedollarfred#scoutpauling#andy rambles#HONEST TO GOD. SO SAD HOW THIS SHIP HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE LIKE 2015#AND ITS A GOOD SHIP TOO PPL GOTTA GIVE IT A CHANCE#one day theyll see#one day theyll all see...........#sorry im tired rn i know im kinda looney tunes rn#BLAH.#thanks for the ask!!! very very kind words i appreciate.
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Does anyone even do chapter titles anymore. Would it be goofy if I wrote individual chapter titles. Should I not do chapter titles simply because I know I will be tired of coming up with them roughly six chapters in.
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grah. it’s so hard to enjoy a piece of media when the only fan content is x reader fic that you are not interested in reading. i just want art and character analysis….. wauuhhh….there is more to Insert Character Here than Hot Guy
#no disrespect to s3lf insert writers#i respect your game#i’m newer to being active on this app#can u mute words?#like if i mute x r3ader will they still show up in search?#blah.#also before you think “just make it yourself#bro i will. i just wanna discuss with others.
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saw someone say this the other day but im feeling a little bummed that hbo will probably only talk about ofmd during pride month because why on earth would we talk about gay people in any other month than june am i right?
#so frustrating 0/10#literally gay people exist outside of june#blah.#hbo love u but not really#anyways enough rambling#out flag means death#ofmd#my thoughts and feelings ig
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It’s kinda crazy to think about that no matter which TV we get next, we will automatically know what Taylor’s version will end the re-recordings era. Like we’ve been guessing how she will reclaim all of these for so long, which one will we get next?? For like five years now, and it’s almost finished and I’m so proud of Taylor and I’m so excited to see what happens but it’s been so fun reliving these eras with her and y’all I’ll miss it 😭😭😭
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I don't want to ruin anyone's fun or anything, or tell people that they shouldn't be altering their character's appearances to represent them more fully, because like. I know the base game is really limiting in terms of body type, hairstyles, and so on. and that some styles and such are locked weirdly to some class or race or w/e
but please in rp environments, at least, do what you can to make your character an approximation of your vision for them. or at least note the differences from their game model
like. had a situation recently where I was interacting with someone who was supposed to be wearing a black dress, but their in-game dye was white. Or another where the character was supposed to be a good foot or two taller than their model (miqo'te) allowed them to be. and it came up as an awkward comment that had to be swept away icly both times
it's probably not a widespread problem and I haven't actually encountered people being rude about things, but it would make it so much easier on everyone if people would just make a note of the differences between what they're seeing and I'm seeing
#ooc ramblings#people can do what they want of course I just#blah.#it gets tiring sometimes seeing people's search info just going 'mare' 'moon' instead of telling me what features their character has#just one or two words in the search info plz#that's all I ask
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Something sick and twisted about "unmet need" and "underserved population" being used as buzzwords in my line of work as a method to secure more financial backing and not to highlight to inequity in the system
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You know what I hate? ✨Spicy Boredom✨ it’s when you’re bored and literally nothing is entertaining, including things you usually like, and it’s been that way all day, and you’re increasingly legitimately very very angry about it.
great way to spend a fucking day off
#kit talks#brain stuff#my head hurts and i’m sore and any time i’ve gotten a hint of wanting to do something today#i almost immediately talk myself out of it bc i don’t feel great and it’s not worth the effort#i’m just pissed that i’ve lost a whole goddamn day off to this mood#i wish i had more video games i could enjoy but yet again i’ve played them all to death#blah.
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I need to document this before I forget again. It's funny.
So, I'm one of those people who get dreams when not entirely asleep and one of the ways this likes to present itself is my mind deciding that I'm actually certainly put of bed and have turned off my alarms ignore those sounds, you turned it off already, sleepy time continues-
A friend of mine has acted as a last defense alarm for me for two days of the week via texting, for the days during which I have particularly earlier classes. Care to guess what my brain decided to craft for this morning? I was convinced that I'd already chatted with them, up until a good half hour after being up (got up earlier than usual) and found that they were just then starting to message me. For half an hour, I thought my dream was real.
#Confused Wakerrife was confused#cognitive dysfunction#parasomnias#parasomnic#Long-Covid#blah.#Narcoleptic#(My doctor thinks but I'm on a year long wait list before I can start talking to a specialist.)#(Yay for modern medicine.)
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I usually hate the “this makes me lose faith in humanity” phrase but the fact that the shitty shitty wizard game is already at the top of steam sales despite not even being released yet.. 😐
#hp mention#i know we all like to live in our tumblr bubble where every person is cool and would roast jkr’s head over an open fire#unfortunately this is not most of the world and i find it hard to cope with that#I guess I really expected people to have more awareness and honestly taste as well#blah.
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