#BIS exam results

[indianexpalert]

BIS Result 2024 for Group A, B and C posts declared, check direct link here

The Bureau of Indian Standards (BIS) has announced the BIS Result 2024 for Group A, B, and C posts. Candidates who appeared for the exam can visit the official website, bis.gov.in, to check and download their respective results. The examination, held on November 19, was for Assistant Section Officer, Junior Secretariat Assistant, Personal Assistant, Technician (Electrician/Wireman), Technician…

[joblocatorsworld]

Bank of India Bharti 2023

बँक ऑफ इंडिया भर्ती 2023 बँक ऑफ इंडिया, मुंबई येथे मुख्य कार्यालय असलेली सार्वजनिक क्षेत्रातील आघाडीची बँक, 500 क्रेडिट ऑफिसर (GBO) आणि IT अधिकारी (SPL) पदांसाठी बँक ऑफ इंडिया भर्ती 2023 (Bank of India Bharti 2023). एकूण :  500 पदाचे नाव & तपशील :  1 क्रेडिट ऑफिसर (GBO) 350 2 IT ऑफिसर (SPL) 150  शैक्षणिक पात्रता : पद क्र.1: कोणत्याही शाखेतील पदवी. पद क्र.2: B.E./ B.Tech (कॉम्प्युटर सायन्स/…

[tieronecrush]

i only have eyes for you

summary: your boyfriend frankie has biannual eye exams for his pilot’s license, and the results of this last one were not what he was hoping for. to his dismay, frankie needs glasses. and you’re not available to help him pick them out.

wc: 2.3k

warnings: none, pure fluff really. ending has mature themes mentioned, but this is really just a sweetie frankie moment 🩵

a/n: this was born out of @northernbluess and I discussing the frankie vibes of the photo(s) above, and then me running off with a delusion of frankie needing glasses. so wholesome, so shy, so sweet 😭

“Seriously? Doesn’t your boss know you have plans with me?” Frankie groans from his place on the couch, flannel stretched across his shoulders and his Standard Oil cap on his head. Dark chocolate curls peek out of the hat, ringlets curving around the edges and his ears, while his plush bottom lip juts out in a pout.

Crossing the living room, you plant yourself on the area rug between his open legs, one hand reaching down to grab his chin and tilt his head to face you, eyes exposed from under the brim of his cap. His umber brown irises reflect hints of a tawny, golden color in the light; one look into his eyes and you’re surrounded in their depth and wrapped up in warmth, like coming into a heated home after a frigid winter day.

Matching his pout with your own, he shakes your hand off with another huff, crossing his arms over his chest. His knees pull together, trapping yours with their effortless strength, years of multiple miles a day in basic training and deployment giving him thighs and calves as thick as tree trunks and virtually as strong as them. A breathy laugh leaves your lips, one hand further hiking your work bag on your shoulder.

“And how d’you think my boss would react to me skipping out on the deadline ‘cause my boyfriend needs to go pick out glasses?” One eyebrow arches in questioning, Frankie shifting on the couch and shrugging as he stands his ground. You know his play; he’s going to pout and say he won’t go unless you’re coming with — you’ve been reminding him constantly over the last week about this appointment, a follow-up to his bi-annual eye exam for his pilot license that he had the other day.

Lately, Frankie had been squinting a lot more, holding books close to his face when he was reading; you even caught him increasing the size of the text on his phone in order to read his messages. He definitely needed the exam, and you knew he was going to need glasses. He grumbled the whole time, avoiding making the appointment until the last possible minute and waving your concern off when he came home with the results.

He was farsighted, which is why he was usually fine while flying. Years of experience meant he knew exactly where the controls were, the blurring of his vision not necessarily deterring his abilities to fly. Clinging to the fact that he’s been fine for the past few months at work, Frankie was refusing the fact that he needed to get glasses. But since he has to submit his results, his hand has been forced to head into the optometrist’s office and pick out a pair.

Which is where you were supposed to come in. Frankie claimed he didn’t care about the look of them, asking you to tag along with him and select some for him. The logic was that “I’m only seeing through them, you’re the one who has to look at ‘em the most. Should be the one to like ‘em.”

“This is a life-changing decision! He should understand that,” his voice drops in volume, eyes flicking away from yours, “I don’t wanna pick out a pair that makes me look silly to you.”

“Oh, baby, I think you’d look cute in any pair of glasses. ‘Cause I think you’re cute.” Folding forward, you steal a quick kiss before standing straight again, lifting one of your legs up and over his knee to free yourself. “Really, Francisco, you would never look silly to me, and you need glasses to go to work. Gotta go get ‘em, baby.”

Another groan rings in your ears, and you roll your eyes at his overdramaticness. Pushing himself off the couch, he stands in front of you, a playful glare on his face, “You’re paying the out-of-pocket price if my insurance won’t let me change them when you hate them.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright. That’s not gonna happen. Now I have to go, and you have to leave for your appointment in an hour. I’m going to check your location, so don’t even think about skipping out,” you warn as you walk toward the front door, hearing him call out to you before you shut the door behind you.

“Tell your boss he’s a dick for makin’ you come in on your day off!”

The end of the day rolls around before you know it, and you’re more than eager to get home to see Frankie and his new glasses. Graciously, your boss told you to take tomorrow off instead, a relief settling in that you can actually enjoy a day with Frankie, who’s out of work until he gets his vision adjustments settled.

Excitement turns in your stomach when you park in the driveway of your shared house, following the path up to the front door of the bungalow and heading inside. Your shoes end up in a pile near the door and your bag ends up dropped next to them, bare feet padding across the tile floor.

Part of you, just a sliver, was feeling a bit anxious about Frankie’s choice. You genuinely meant you would love anything on him, but he’s been avoiding the task and trying to deflect it to you, which made you guess that the whole change had him feeling insecure. To you, there was nothing wrong with the addition to his look, but he must have been feeling much differently to be so worked up about the situation. In his world, surrounded by younger co-pilots and forced to disclose things like this in any applications or license renewals, you imagine it must be like showing up to elementary school or middle school as one of the few kids with braces or the butchered haircut your mom gave you in the bathroom the night before. Totally uncool.

You just wanted to hug the little, shy kid inside of Frankie; wrap him up, and tell him how much you love him and how cool you think he is. A kid like Frankie would’ve been your best friend when you were younger — he’s your best friend now.

“Frankie baby, where ya at?”

“Living room!”

Swerving from your direction toward the kitchen, you cross over into the living room, a wide and enthusiastic grin on your face as you anticipate what kind of glasses he chose. You’d been swarmed with text messages while he was at his appointment:

Are you sure you can’t take lunch now and come help me?

Way too many options here.

An older woman who works here is trying to help but I think she’s coming onto me…Please come over here baby!!

I feel like a dweeb in all of these.

Receiving the last one nearly made you pack up your things and rush over to help him, but with your boss breathing down your neck about a submission by the end of the day for this large project, you couldn’t sneak away. Instead, you sent reassurances, asking for photos but never receiving any from your boyfriend.

From where he sits on the couch, Frankie turns his hatless head away from the movie playing on the TV, sending a soft smile to you, “Hi, cariño. How was your day?”

No glasses.

God, you actually might kill him if he went through all of the theatrics only to come home empty-handed. Or empty-faced, more like it.

“My day was fine, but more importantly, how was your day? And why don’t I see glasses on your face?” you plop down on the couch next to him, body turned toward him while he continues to focus on the TV, humming dismissively.

“I got some. Jus’ don’t like wearing ‘em if I don’t have to,” he mumbles, sinking further into the couch cushions.

“Baby, you’re not going to get used to them if you don’t wear them regularly. Can’t be living in a blurry world.” Inching closer, you rest a hand on his thigh and the other cards through the curls at the nape of his neck, slowly turning his head to look at you, “I wanna see them. Please? Pretty please?”

Embraced again by those cocoa-brown eyes, this time filled with timidness and hooded with anxiety.

“I feel ridiculous in them. Like they make my ears stick out and they don’t fit under my cap and…they just look stupid on me.” His sentences mush together in his dejected tone, eyes falling from yours to stare at where his fingers are anxiously toying with the hem of your satin blouse.

The image of shy, little Frankie at school tugs on your heartstrings again; instead of showing your cards, you hide your anxieties with a soft, bright smile.

“Frankie, you could never look stupid to me. You never look stupid to anyone. Well, unless Pope’s around, but he can shove it.” That brings a subtle grin to his lips, a breathy of a single chuckle exhaling. “You are the most handsome to me, and a little pair of glasses isn’t going to change that. Can you please show them to me? I promise I’ll be honest, but I can guarantee that you think they are exponentially worse than what they are. Knowing how you are, they probably make you look hotter. Which, like, should be physically impossible, I mean look at you—”

“Alright, alright. I’ll show you the glasses. Quit makin’ me blush…” he scolds lightly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips and his dimple poking through on his cheek. You scoot back to allow him to get up off the couch, watching as he disappears down the hall to your bedroom and comes back a few seconds later, stopping right before he’s in view.

“Close your eyes.”

“Frankie, c’mon, I said—”

“Please?” His tone is so innocent, guileless in his clear nerves around you seeing him with the new accessory.

“Okay, they’re closed.” You confirm once you have shut your eyes, sitting up as you eagerly await. His steps grow louder and you can feel the couch sink when he sits back down again, shifting to cheat his body in your direction. A silent beat drums between you two before he clears his throat with a defeated sigh.

“Okay, you can look.”

Opening your eyes, the immediate reaction is to press your lips together, holding back the overexcitement about the new look to not startle Frankie. Circling your eyes over his face, you study the thick oaky frames that stand out from his strong features, complementing them with a statement of their own. Rounded square shapes hold the lenses, the bridge of them perched perfectly on his hooked nose. The arms of them extend back to his ears, and he was right, they do make the tops of his ears stick out minisculely. But most of that is covered by the way his dense curls flick out around the glasses, poking out in the most adorable way.

And of course, they do nothing but create the perfect perimeter around those beloved brown eyes, the curvature of the lenses making them appear just the slightest bit larger. More for you to stare into.

The lack of reaction as you take it all in has perturbed Frankie, a groan identical to his this morning rolling from his chest, “See I knew these were no good, I’m not wearing ‘em. I look silly.”

One of his hands lifts from his lap to grab for the frames, your own hand quick to intercept the motion. Quickly shaking your head, the words spill out to stop his spiraling, “No no no, absolutely not. You don’t look silly at all, baby…”

“But you don’t like them?”

“I love them. They’re exactly what I would’ve chosen for you myself. You look so handsome, my Frankie.” Without holding back anymore, a blinding smile lights up your face and you shift to your knees to crawl over and straddle his thighs. Your arms wrap around his neck, pressing yourself against him in a tight, squeezing hug. His own arms snake around your back, keeping you flush against him. The two of you sit in that embrace for a few moments, only pulling back a few inches to look at his face again. Delicately, you lift a finger to trace the shape of the glasses, grinning sweetly when your eyes focus back on his.

“You look hot. Like a sexy professor or like…a cool movie star.” Frankie laughs and shakes his head, fingertips tracing up and down your lower spine. “Can’t wait to christen the glasses. Kinda want you to keep ‘em on later tonight.”

Frankie’s head twists in curiosity, a smirk settling easily on his face, “That so? Guess it is going to be nice to see your face clearly again. Think that was my sole motivator for getting the damn things finally…” He grins when you laugh, pushing his lips out in a pucker and his eyes widen as a thought pops into his head. “Pretty sure they’ll get all fogged up when I’m between your le—”

“Oh my god, don’t even finish that sentence. The glasses come off when you’re doing that, Francisco.” You shove his shoulder gently and he laughs brightly, his eye glittering in the warm light behind his lenses. His hands at your back pull you in closer again, his nose nudging yours before he catches your lips in a soft, supple, slow kiss. The feeling of the plastic frames against your skin is foreign, but welcome.

“Love you, baby,” he whispers against your skin before he presses a kiss to the corner of your lips.

Leaning back again, his hands coast up and down your sides while you reply, “Love you too, Frankie. Glasses or no glasses.”

taglist: @northernbluess @atinylittlepain @swiftispunk @joelsversion @mrsquill @ilovepedro @lovers-liability @deathwife @undrthelights @atticrissfinch @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @addictedtotlou @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @harriedandharassed @decemberdolly @laiisleitte @fierce-bab @pertinentpostmortem @livingdeadmaria @bitchwitch1981 @its-nebuleuse @marini03 @piercethevic03 @joeandpedrosimp @kiwisbell @planet-marz1 @jrosie25 @vee-bees-blog @joelsflannel @k-k0129 @cartoon-garbage04 @nostalxgic

[olivianyx]

I didn't knew u were a respawner! That's so cool, I've been on my respawn journey for like 1-2 months, I hope this is okay to ask but how is your respawning routine? Currently I am taking a break but I would love to hear abt your respawning journey so far :>

Heyy! I'm glad I find many people who are into respawning! Actually mine's a long ass story and you might wonder how am I even doing fine to this day 😭

Okay so long story short, let's begin.

Back in 2022, I discovered shifting. After finding out about loa in 2021, I was anticipated to shift realities just to escape this one. I hated being here. I was suffering with depression, bi polar, avpd, anxiety and maladaptive daydreaming, and I was from a toxic household with narcissistic, toxic and strict parents and fake af friends. It was really hard for me to even open up to somebody. It was hard for me to handle (actually I'm tearing up rn while I type this... Especially those traumas are the worst thing I ever experienced)

When I started my research about shifting, I got into amino. I saw the word 'respawn' and I was like tf is this?? I thought it was some gaming shit and then when I researched it on amino, I really wanted to go away from here and be happier than ever. I wanted to be in peace and do whatever I want in my reality. And no one should judge or stop me from getting what I want. I quickly scripted the place I wanna respawn, and other stuffs. I decided that I will get tf outta here.

Well because I had a reason that I'll respawn, I completely ignored my 3D circumstances. Like I stopped taking care of myself, stopped talking to people around me, stopped studying, stopped doing everything. I just was desperately trying to respawn every night telling myself that I will.

When in fact I was wasting my time and energy into lack. I almost didn't study for my finals and wrote the exams and hope that I'd respawn before my results will be declared. I used to keep time crunches to respawn, and when I didn't, I used to get so depressed, that I attempted to take my own life for the first time ever back in may 2022.

My brother accidentally entered my room and saved me from doing that. When I say I've almost attempted to take my own life for like 10+ times that same year, I still didn't give up. My exam results came and I luckily passed my exams.

So after all these I decided to give a break for 3 months completely for my own mental health. Ik my journey for 2 years wasn't smooth, it was full of ups and downs, and it messed my mental health up. I wasn't even using loassumption in a proper manner at that time. Ngl, I was so damn desperate for manifesting even the smallest stuff (I just wanna time travel back in time and slap the shit outta that version of me that I was back then 💀)

So when I got into a medical university in 2023 January, I completely forgot about respawning for a while. And again in October 2023, I logged into Tumblr, and became friends with one of the respawner Julie. She was so sweet, that she even answered every stupid doubts of mine (God give me Julie's patience 🗣️🗣️) she had respawned back in October 2023.

She was the one who told me 'SELF CONCEPT IS THE KEY!' so I started working on my self concept for like 1 and a half-ish months.... Well, I wasn't even perfect with it, but I tried. I did many challenges but the meraskii one had a good effect on my mindset. So last Christmas, I even learnt about the void (I hate implying it as void, I'd rather say it as I AM state) I wanted to enter it so bad.

I just did my affs, persisted in it, and listened to subs, and on Christmas Eve, I got into it successfully.

This year, I find respawning a very relaxing topic. Like I don't even get bothered by it. I know I'm already where I wanna be. And don't worry, my mental health has been good for a few days now. I was thinking of changing my script, so for the past 2 months, I've been scripting my new reality, well still it's only half way done hehe.

By the end of this month, I'm planning on respawning through the void. So till then I just wanna be thankful for everything here and enjoy every moment here without regrets.

Everybody's journey is different. All you have to do is embody your desired state. You just have to be the version of you having your desires. Be the one who already has it. For me, that took 3 years to click. I just had to relax and give myself in. Let go and enjoy the fact that I already have my desires in the 4d.

Ig this helped... any further doubts, you can ask me! Lots of luv 🤍🤍🤍🤍

- olivia 🤍

[spro-o]

i noticed that in your art you referred to gowther as auncle and that had me kicking my feet so may you please spare your nnt gender/sexuality headcanons and fave ships? hope your exams have gone/are going well and that you have a great weekend :D

*laughs evilly* yes,,,, my time to shine,,, >:3

thank you very much for the ask!! indeed i would love to share my queer hcs and favourite ships for the gang!!

hcs (heads up, some references to horny preferences)

Meliodas:

trans man (he/him) (im not projecting, trust) (lie)

pansexual

he has a very high libido/pervy tendencies, yes, but also an equally strong potential for romantic love - i do think of him as quite the possessive/protective type on a very deep emotional level, he just covers it up by acting like a perv all the time (something something traumatised and doesnt want others to see him caring for people since he fears they will take them away from him)

top-leaning switch and much freakier than his appearances may lead some to believe

Diane:

cis woman (she/her)

bisexual

has definitely kissed elizabeth multiple times on their "girl's nights/sleepovers"

the type to blush and fawn over every woman in existence,,,, and her husband too ig

pegs king on the regular

Ban:

masc-alligned genderqueer (he/they) (not projecting again) (another lie)

bisexual

finds men and women attractive at about an even ratio

he picks his clothing to be so slutty for a reason (queer signalling + hes a sucker for that kind of attention, though he might act like he doesnt care) (he cares most when said attention comes from meliodas, which is affirmed every time mel takes the chance to feel him up)

bottom-leaning switch and the most masochistic masochist you ever will meet

King:

cis man (he/him)

bisexual (god damn all these bitches bi ‼️‼️)

i think we all know how king discovered his like of men (,,, cough,, helbram,,)

yeah helbram definitely pull a couple of those 'leaning in for a kiss/doing some other gay shit' stunts as a joke and was like haha got you and king was just sat there, bright red, blood streaming down his nose

denied these stunts had any effect on him whatsoever

gets pegged by diane on the regular

Gowther:

non-binary (they/them) (intersex??? i mean, theyre a doll, probably got interchangeable parts lmao)

demisexual and demiromantic gay/queer

they dont really have a specific label to describe what genders theyre attracted to, its just sorta 'anything goes if we vibe', and its gay either way, so they keep it broad

as mentioned, theyre referred to by gender-neutral titles, but dont mind the occasional "miss ma'am" for comedic effect

tends to prefer bottoming, but not exclusively

Merlin:

nb trans woman (she/they)

aro-spec lesbian

shes never had much luck or want for romantic relationships but has definitely had her fair share of thotin around with women

very skilled at rizzing up said women, but its really a 50/50 whether shes doing so to get someone laid or to acquire her next social-experiment subject (whom she will also probably dick down later, who knows)

Escanor:

cis man,,,, he/him

straight,,

sorry yall, gotta have the token straight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tho i do hc as being aware of the fact that merlin wont return his feelings, but having accepted that, so all the poetry he writes for her is more of a sign of appreciation of her as a friend, and not as an attempt to hit on her

Bonus!!

Elizabeth:

cis woman (she/her)

pansexual

the type to have gotten so so many crushes when she was younger,,, finding everyone really attractive and charming, and as a result being the most easily flustered person ever

as each sin rejoined the group, shed have her mandatory moment of "oh god,,,, its another very very hot/attractive person"

switch, but very gentle and caring no matter the position

Elaine:

demigirl (she/they)

sapphic

very easily flustered (extremely weak for elizabeth)

pillow princessing all over the place

Zeldris:

non-binary (he/they/xe)

bisexual, with a preference for women

tends to be pretty resistant to flirtatious remarks and whatnot, but is the absolute weakest when its from gelda (professional simp /pos)

,,,, also a massive bottom, but i digest

Gelda:

trans woman (she/her, also doesnt mind they/them)

demiromantic bisexual

knows exactly the effect she has on zeldris, but loves pretending she has no idea

shell say "oh, sorry just need to grad a book from the shelf behind you" and then get her boobs as close to zel's face as possible without making skin contact, and stay there until xe's gone bright red

hung

ships:

Melban - obviously, this one goes kinda goes without saying for me. i absolutely love the dynamic between these two, and their shared history as well. they are both very much sick in the head and have so many issues they each struggle with, but at the same time they cant take anything seriously. there are countless interactions between them which are just so so homoerotic, if not just really sweet. these two quite literally will go to hell and back for the other without a second thought, and i adore that (say its bros bein dude all you want, you cant convince me they didnt fuck in purgatory and on many other occasions)

Elilaine - theyre like melban but less punchy, more of the "normal about expressing love for the other". i know there arent many deep interactions between Elizabeth and Elaine, but i just, once again, think that they have a really adorable dynamic and would just make for the most lovely couple (with equally deceivingly harmless looks, but very much the potential to whoop ass if need be)

Geldris - these two, despite canonically being just a straight couple, are one of the most queer duos in the damn series,,, they just are, man, idk. big fan of them both being very gothic and stuff, and obviously im a sucker for how much zeldris buckles at the knees for anything gelda does,,, love them

Hendreyfus - old,,, old man yaoi my beloved (i just think theyre really adorable and are like and old married couple - very cutes!!) (also yeah old men)

i also do love the rarepair (? polycule) of all time, that being melban x elilaine,,, we should have seen more interactions between mel and elaine, and between ellie and ban!! they definitely got up to all sorts of stuff, i just know it

anyways!! thank you very much for the ask!! thankfully i only have one more exam left on monday and then im free from those :,) i hope you have a lovely day!! :D

[sungnxxn]

ALLODOXAPHOBIA al-lo-dox-a-pho-bi-a is the fear of opinions. This phobia can manifest as a fear of being pressured by the opinions and expectations of others, including friends.

[college student!p.sh x female college student!reader] Genre: Angst Word Count: 1,135 Notes: BREAK UP!! (even two); Sunghoon is a jerk (ok,, ig??); written in third person; both Sunghoon and Jungwon are on the same Basketball Team; female!reader has kind of unhealthy coping mechanism; English is not my first language,, so bear with my grammar/spelling mistakes; inspired by the song: pale honey-friends PHULEASE,, read the authors note at the end,, shank yewww !!! DO NOT REPOST NOR TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION !!! :NOW PLAYING: 🎧 Pale Honey - Friends 🎸

1:19 ───|────── 4:09

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

A month had passed. Exactly a month since that one unfortunate night when their relationship ended. Since then, she had finally allowed herself to feel and breathe freely. She permitted herself to identify the sadness, the anger, the disgust, and the deep emptiness within her. Yet, she also granted herself healing and the assurance of her own presence and peace of mind. She made the decision to avoid any interactions with him at all costs, just to let herself breathe.

I set myself free in my own time now I'm all alone I really don't mind

At some point, she found herself in the stands of the basketball hall, there to show her support for Jungwon - her best friend of six years — who was ready to have a match with his team against the opposing school. As she sat there, she overheard some girls sitting in front of her gossiping about her and Sunghoon's past relationship.

Apparently, every time Sunghoon is asked about the reason for their breakup, he either shrugs it off by telling others that they didn't share the same trajectory or, if he's constantly pressed about it, he says they broke up because of a lack of time due to their tight schedules and exams. What a lie.

but would you leave it out when you tell everyone about us so much went so wrong between me and you

Trying to ignore the recently received information, she cheered silently for her best friend throughout the whole match, yet she was not able to shrug off the memories of her breakup with Sunghoon. Sunghoon has always been a man of pride, whether it was his grades, his looks, or his family's wealth. He always had everything he wanted. Yet, the only thing he did not have was a significant other. While all his friends were bragging about their relationships, Sunghoon could not help but feel pressured and down. So he decided to date her.

They met in a shared chemistry class, where Sunghoon desperately looked for a girl he could pick to be his girlfriend. He flashed his beautiful smile at her and arranged to meet up frequently, whether it was for their studies, the music they shared, or simply each other's presence. At first, he thought the feelings would come after a while, but they didn't, and he did not want to deal with that issue any further. He chose to ignore the tenderness and kept on feeding the facade of being in love.

After a while of dating, Sunghoon's constant way of vaunting about his girlfriend to his friends became very stressful and bothersome to her. She could not stand the pressure of always being the center of attention around his friends. She elected to calmly confront her boyfriend about the struggle she had been hiding deep down, which resulted in a heated argument. Sunghoon revealed his real intentions about their relationship, explaining how he just wanted to boost his self-esteem, to feel less left out, less pressured, and not embarrassed around his friends for not having a girlfriend.

She could not believe nor process the words that spilled from his mouth, so she just stared at him in disbelief. Sunghoon, not able to stand her silence, told her how much he cherished her just as a trophy to show around his friends, without having any strings attached. Soon after, she made the decision to end their relationship. Unable to look at his face anymore, she spared no time and stormed out of his college room to go to her own. Tears threatened to spill out, yet she did not cry. She did not want to cry. Arriving in her own room, she blocked his number and decided to go to sleep, just to ignore her own salty eyes.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

After the match ended with a win for her school's team, everyone cheered loudly while she just smiled proudly at her best friend. The basketball players approached the stands, and in the crowd of the team, she noticed a familiar face—not her best friend's, but her ex-boyfriend's—Sunghoon. Sunghoon, running ahead of himself towards the stands, smiled brightly and hugged a tall and slim female figure, then a moment later, kissed her passionately. Seeing this, she looked quite shocked and felt a little bit hurt, but she hoped he treated that girl differently than he had treated her.

without me around you can take turns with everyone

Some time passed. Just as she was about to exit the toilet stall, she heard a girl running and crying into the stall next to hers, disrupting her peace. She decided to stay quiet, not wanting to startle the girl. Accidentally, she overheard the girl talking to someone on the phone. Through tears, the girl explaines how much she loved a boy and how hurt she felt after an argument a few minutes ago over a minor inconvenience. The girl continued, describing how the boy had said hurtful things to her, claiming he did not love her and that she was useless, only seen as another trophy by him. Hearing this, she froze on the spot, her own breakup suddenly flooding back to her.

She exited the stall in a hurry and walked anxiously through the school hall, her thoughts racing freely in her mind. She couldn't believe that the boy she once loved and cherished had turned into such a heartless pride machine. She could not believe that Sunghoon continued to break the hearts of innocent girls just to feed his own ego and impress his friends.

even now as I'm on my own it wears me down and I've lost control

Arriving at her dorm room, she lied in her bed and chuckled at her own hope of Sunghoon changing. Soon after, the chuckles turned into wholehearted laughter as she reminisced about the lies Sunghoon told his friends about their past relationship and their reasons for breaking up.

after all we've been through would you tell everyone leaving out how you made me feel and what went wrong

Right after, the laughter turned into single droplets of tears, which trickled down her cheeks as she realized how insecure Sunghoon must feel — unable to tell the truth and live authentically, wearing a mask while breaking hearts. She felt sorry for him, though she shouldn't have; after all, he had broken her heart. Yet here she was, and the world did not end.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

At the end, their priorities diverged: she would prioritize her future significant other, while he would always prioritize his pride and his FRIENDS.

without me around you can take turns with everyone you can tell all your friends you can tell all your friends

Authors Note: Yellow yall,, my first ff on tumblr and ngl kinda nervous,, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this !! I am open for any improvements, so feedback is very much appreciated (the negative one as much as the positive),, take care everyone !! (?)

(06.07.2024)

[mpchev]

hello hello! welcome to my academic blog!

my name is marie! i'm currently doing a dissertation on fanfiction bookbinding!

[updated 9/7/2024]

the original purpose of this blog was to find research participants (you can read what my call for participants looked like here — thank you so much to everyone who liked, reblogged, and/or replied!!)

i now use it to reblog/store the resources I come across on tumblr and elsewhere relating to fan studies, folklore, and ethnology, and eventually share the results of my own research. i'm also trying to document the big steps of the dissertation (which will include binding a fic!), both for the auto-ethnography aspect of it and because academia is a weird place — as a first gen uni-goer + international student, i would have loved any extra info i could've gotten my hands on before getting into this, so if that can help anyone, yay! (and if you have questions, ask away!)

tags:

# fanbinding dissertation -> for anything that's directly diss-related

# fanbinding resources -> how-to's, inspo, lists of resources

# fanbinding lit -> everything i'll hopefully have the time to read and might want to cite/reference

more about me & how i ended up here:

i’m in my 30s, white, queer (bi, genderqueer, she/they), and physically disabled.

i first studied music (i used to play the accordion!)

then translation (that’s still how i pay the bills — we do not dream of labour, but as far as labour go, that’s a pretty sweet gig)

then linguistics (words are fake and we love them <3)

and now folklore and ethnology! (yes as in tales and legends, but more broadly as in culture in context, which includes online communities and vernacular crafts, hence the lovely dissertation topic)

i was a big harry potter fan growing up (my final linguistics paper was called expecto transphobia: a study of dogwhistles on twitter, we live and we learn)(at least some of us do, looking at you joanne) and i vaguely remember enrolling in online hogwarts circa 2005 (took notes and studied for the exams and everything), but i sadly wasn’t around for the golden/cursed days of 2010s tumblr, and i only recently fell (head first) into fanfiction. started with all the young dudes, currently reading some wolfstar, some ofmd, lots of good omens, lots sandman, some tma. also trying to follow along dracula daily. and i’m halfway through a supernatural rewatch, so who knows what the future holds.

if i’m not reading (neverending tbr of academic papers, fics, scifi novels old and new, folktales anthologies, epic poetry, translated plays in beautiful metres) or working, i’m probably trying to translate beowulf in french (not enough people have, it’s a fun story with monsters and dragons, more people should!), with star trek playing in the background.

open source resources are my love language (let me know if there's anything i might help with), the internet is my happy place (thank you for your contribution), transmediality gives me warm fuzzy feelings, folksonomies are works of art, my kingdom for a good AU.

header: The Concert by Gerrit van Honthorst (1623)

pfp: Watermelon and Grapes by John F. Francis (1863)

(both taken from the open-access collection of the National Gallery of Art, Washington)

[hardkittyprince]

I just finished watching episode 6 and it's beautiful funny sad and cute i just wanna say i love chim don't let him get hurt seriously please he is heart of the show I am so glad they got married after what they been through and as always bi buck dumbo 😂 i just wish that in the next episode or any other episode Buckley parents don't behave mean to Tommy or buck i will kill them through internet the next episode will come one day after my high school final exams results so i hope even if my results suck they will give me happiness 😊 and our bi baby buck is being brave i mean it i love seeing him this happy

[goldenchocobo]

2023 Art Dump

Not as much as last year, which would be a feat. A lot of Kingdom Hearts art, still, as well as OC things.

In the Keep Reading below, you can learn about each thing, if it interests you;

From Left-to-Right, Up-to-Down:

-Baldr and Bragi's battle stances (specifically from when they were fighting Cerberus in the Underworld). wanted to draw them like this, but never found a reason to post it as-is. I was going to include it in another compilation that sat in my Drafts for half a year (with other art on this dump).

-Character art for a friend's KH D&D character- a 'Nort replica with no memory of who he is, only that he's running from Vexen.

-Art in that compelation. It's from the first time you speak to Demyx. I like how it's the first thing he ever asks Roxas; I was going to do more, but... didn't.

-Interpretation of the Keyblade from Missing Link's promo image. I needed it for my KH D&D, as I was going to give the players a keyblade based on the stats they chose in their DttH. The keyblade didn't end up being used.

-Silly Bragi/Luxu doodle. I think he'd have to try hard not to ace any history exams, or at least know more than what he's currently being taught.

-Aerith and Cid shop 'interface' I drew for my KH D&D. I wanted a visual for my players instead of just vague descriptions, so I drew these, the portraits are the characters currently in the session.

———————————————————

-Young Xehanort headshots. I was going to do more each time I wanted to draw, but didn't know what- but these two were the only two that I did.

-Working out the design for a Minotaur Heartless that appeared in my fic, Working Together, for Ventus and Vanitas to fight.

-His Dark Materials AU Sora with his Daemon Amica. I was going to draw some battle poses with them, but I honestly never felt like it, and didn't want to force myself.

-figuring out a design for Vanitas's glider for my fic.

-Ventus holding an escapee-flood from a WiP fic, (continuation of Working Together) Trial by Light.

-New Unversed Vanitas makes when he and Ventus are on 'kind of okay' terms, that Ventus calls a Mawkeepit from my fic. I wanted to nail out a design for them, so I could describe them better.

-New Unversed Vanitas makes when he felt betrayed. They're currently unnamed- as I'm having trouble coming up with a portmantu or word-association for 'Backstab, Weasel or snake' for the WiP fic. These aren't going to feature as heavily as the Mawkeepit, but I wanted to draw them so readers could get a better idea of how they looked.

-Art of the Mawkeepit crowding an Unconscious Ventus while being surrounded by Heartless for my fic.

———————————————————

-Chocopuffs. Art from a Nyancave stream of Final Fantasy XVI, where the Northern British actors pronounce the 'cho' in chocobo the same way as the 'cho' in 'chocolate'- the result was chocopuffs, a cereal.

-Diabloceratops getting its toe bitten by a territorial turtle. didn't finish the WiP.

-Bi frog I drew for my Bi friend who likes frogs.

-Absolute monster of an art dump for my OCs, Lupin an Iberis. I wanted to give them a more modern take, so I drew them in modern clothing, with only one being of an older time period (bottom right) based on a photo of two men sitting together like that. I have refsheets for them and may post them if I routinely draw and post more are of these two.

-Neovinator in a pond/river based on a photo of a Grebe, and Daurlong sitting based on a photo of an emu.

-depiction of a woman I dreamt of. The dream was very real, and I'm certain I met death, and that is what she looked like. If you're interested in it, let me know and I post the rest, because it's long.

-Warrior cat OCs (and my friends) all from different clans going to a fourth to ask to speak to their medicine cat. the ginger one is mine and his name is Flipleaf.

———————————————————

-Nyancave Sonic OC. I think they were playing Sonic 06 or Shadow the Headgehog when I drew it, I can't remember.

-Drawn when there was a Subathon and the Nyancave were playing Final Fantasy XII. The memberships were a steal!

-Painting of their cats (now older) Dante and Nia, looking at Christmas lights.

[sixhours]

Chapter 13 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

You’re staring at the blurry ultrasound screen again. It’s worse than the last time you used it with Joel’s heart, except now you’re looking at the uterus of a 14-year-old girl. At least, you hope that’s what you’re looking at; the screen flashes and wavers like television static, making it difficult to tell.

Emily, the girl on the table, stares at the ceiling impassively as you move the wand over her lower abdomen. Eventually, you sigh and wipe it down, tucking it away and handing her a clean cloth.

“You’re pregnant, but I can’t get a good read on the size of the fetus. Do you know when your last period was?”

Emily shakes her head.

“I’d say you’re anywhere between seven and ten weeks out, then.”

No response.

“Do your parents know you’re here?”

The girl had shown up at the clinic alone, claiming to have a stomachache. When you’d sat down in the exam room to ask about her symptoms, she’d pulled out the plastic pee stick and handed it to you wordlessly. Drugstore pregnancy tests were mostly accurate, even 20 years past their expiration date, and the positive result was plain as day.

You should have stopped the examination right there. You were way past the ethical boundary for treating a minor without their guardian’s consent, but the girl had begged…and if you were being honest with yourself, the sight of the positive pregnancy test hit a little too close to home.

“I don’t have parents.”

“Who looks after you?” 

She shrugs. “The Wilsons, I guess.”

Right, the Wilsons. They’re an older couple if you remember correctly. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself.

“Do you know who the father is?”

She shrugs again, and you close your eyes. “Has anyone in your family touched you inappropriately? Is there a chance this could be–”

“What? Gross, no,” the girl says. “No. They’re strict, but they’re not…he’s not…like that.”

You breathe a silent sigh of relief. “So…do you have a boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” she says softly.

“And you’re sexually active with him?”

The girl squirms and wrinkles her nose at the question, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“It’s a little late to be shy about it now,” you murmur. “Did he force you?”

Her eyes widen, suddenly understanding, and she shakes her head vehemently. “No! No, he…I wanted to do it. I told him to. I swear.”

The kid was too damn young to be consenting to anything, you think, but you put that aside for now.

“Look, kid, I’m going to be straight with you, because I think if you’re mature enough to have sex, you’re mature enough to deal with the consequences. Okay?”

The girl swallows but gives a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.

“Pregnancy is dangerous. It’s dangerous for fully grown women, and it’s especially dangerous for kids. Your body hasn’t finished growing, and your pelvis is tiny, so there’s very little chance you’ll be able to give birth naturally.

“We don’t have anesthesia for c-sections like they show in the movies. So if you choose to keep this baby now, and the baby can’t come out when it needs to…you both die.”

This seems to have the intended effect. The girl’s stoic recalcitrance gives way to abject terror and her eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to die.”

“That makes two of us,” you say, softening. “And it’s my job to make sure that you don’t. We need to have a discussion about your treatment options and to do that, we need to tell your guardians. They have to give consent for me to continue treating you. Can I call them now?”

The girl looks miserable, tears dripping down her cheeks, but she nods and gives a little hiccup. You push the button on your walkie. 

“Hey, I need someone to find Mr. and Mrs. Wilson and tell them to come to the clinic. I’ve got Emily here.”

~*~

When the girl and her parents leave, you sit at your desk, poring through a medical textbook by lamplight.

The good news is they’d all agreed an abortion was the best decision. The bad news is the only two doctors in town have never performed one. Even if you and Eric had the experience, the clinic doesn’t have the right equipment.

When you find the section in your textbook on reproductive medicine, you grab a pen and start circling things in red ink, writing them down on a pad of paper. After a second’s hesitation, you rip the pages out of the book entirely, folding them neatly and tucking them into the notepad.

Next, you head to the library in search of more reading material…and a phone directory.

~*~

It’s well past late when you arrive at Tommy and Maria’s house, relieved to find the lights still on. Maria answers the door holding Gwen on one hip, looking tired.

“What’s wrong?”

“May I come in? I have a request for the council.”

She narrows her eyes, but opens the door and beckons you inside. You’re too keyed up for formalities; you’re talking before she can close the door behind you.

“I have a patient. A teen girl. She needs an abortion.”

Maria blinks, taken aback.

“I have permission from her guardians to do the procedure, but I need supplies.”

You pull out the notepad. “I’ve written down the addresses of three Planned Parenthood centers in Colorado and Utah. I’m sure they’ve been picked over for antibiotics and painkillers, but I doubt anyone would have grabbed dilators–”

“Whoa, hold up. Come in. Sit,” she gestures to the living room. “Do you want tea? Little miss here has decided we’re having a late night.”

“Tea? No, thank you. I’m–I have to–”

“I know,” she soothes. “Let me grab a cup and I’ll be right back. Then you can tell me everything from the beginning.”

She puts Gwen down on the rug, and the little girl immediately makes a whining noise, then crawls after her mother. Maria comes back with a steaming mug of something fragrant and herbal, deftly dodging the baby on the floor before picking her back up and setting her between you on the couch.

“Tell me.”

You do, explaining how your patient’s age and size are not conducive to carrying a pregnancy to term. You tell her how you’ve treated more pregnancies in Jackson than ever before in your career, and that without some more reliable forms of birth control, you’re looking at an unsustainable population boom. You even tell her about the kids you and Joel saw from the roof of the stables…although you leave her brother-in-law’s presence out of the story.

“We’re going to have more cases like this,” you say. “Most of these kids have been forced to grow up too fast. They’re reckless. We don’t have enough options, it’s not like we can just put every girl in Jackson on the pill. I know our assault rates are low, but they’re not zero,” you swallow, thinking of the jackass who cornered you at the Tipsy Bison. “If there was a rape–”

Maria winces. “No, I get it.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. “I’ve written it all in here. I even have pictures so they know what to look for,” you say, pulling out the torn pages of your medical textbook. “I just need someone who can find the stuff. Soon. If I wait too long with this kid…it gets risky.”

“Right.”

“Oh, and there’s some other stuff on there if they can find it. IUDs would be amazing. Diaphragms, although I doubt the latex is any good, but maybe they can find something silicone, a shallow menstrual cup might work–”

“I understand,” Maria cuts you off, looking at the list, then back at you, resignation in her eyes. “I’ll bring this in first thing tomorrow. The next supply run isn’t scheduled until spring, but…I can probably convince the council to grant an exception for a medical emergency.”

You breathe a silent sigh of relief, feeling a faint spark of hope in your chest.

“I wish we’d found you sooner,” Maria says after a pause. She’s looking at the baby between you, lost in thought, or perhaps just tired. “Eric has done his best, but he’s…old-fashioned in some ways. I should have seen this coming.”

“Well, I’m here now,” you say, all forced cheer, but your mouth is suddenly dry.

For how long?

~*~

Two nights later, you’re chest-deep in your tub, trying to slough off the week’s events with a bath so hot it’s turned your skin the bright pink of a peony.

“I’m so glad you fixed the floor, Miller,” you murmur, sinking deeper into the water.

“Don’t know how you can stand it,” he mutters at your back. “Feel like a boiled crawdad.”

You smile. “Suck it up, tough guy.”

He grunts. You’re pressed back to his chest, wrapped in his legs. You’re vaguely aware of the washcloth he draws across your skin, under and around your breasts, down your stomach, down…

“Again? Christ, Miller…you’re insatiable.”

“Uh-huh,” he growls at your ear, nipping the lobe, one hand coming up to rub the hardening peak of one nipple as the other abandons the washcloth and slips between your thighs, thick fingers almost delicate in their ministrations as your back arches involuntarily, opening yourself to him.

“Want me to stop?” he murmurs.

His fingers are circling, fluttering, sending little sparks of pleasure to your core, inner muscles clenching, desperate to be filled. You’re already halfway to your orgasm when his fingers slow, teasing, and you remember to answer.

“Don’t you dare stop,” you moan, reaching back for something to hold onto, finding the damp curls at the nape of his neck.

You feel his smile against your ear, the rumble of his soft words as he massages your clit, then slips two fingers inside you. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

You tilt your chin up and his lips find yours, messy and wanton, licking roughly into your mouth as his fingers coach you toward your climax. You groan when he curls into that soft, aching core inside you and flutters his fingers against it, applying just enough pressure to make you ache and throb and writhe between his legs, but not enough to find release.

“Joel! You here?”

The voice calls out from downstairs, and your eyes fly open.

“Shit,” Joel whispers, then calls back. “Yeah, yeah, hold your damn horses.”

Footsteps on the stairs. “Joel?”

You scramble out of the tub, grabbing for your robe, knotting it around your waist. You slip out of the bathroom and close the door behind you to find Tommy standing in the hall at the top of the stairs.

“Hey,” he says, brow knit in confusion. “Sorry, I thought you were–Joel said you were workin’ tonight. Said you had somethin’ for him to finish up here?”

“I, uh–” you clear your throat. “They didn’t need me after all.”

“Oh, uh…is Joel here? We’re short a patroller and I know he’s–”

You hear the bathroom door open, Joel’s footsteps at your back.

“...free,” he finishes as understanding dawns. “Oh–shit.”

Joel’s hand finds your shoulder and gives it a light squeeze. “Yeah, I can go. Give us a minute.”

“I really stepped in it, didn’t I?” Tommy says, ducking his head. “I’ll, uh, let you get dressed. Maria wants you for the next shift, there’s been a lotta activity out there. Need all the help we can get.”

“Tommy,” Joel says sharply. “Don’t tell Ellie yet, okay? I need to be the one…to…” he trails off.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Tommy says, embarrassment giving way to a grin and a wink. “Good on you, brother. Maybe make it longer than a minute, though.”

“Jesus, get outta here,” Joel snaps, and Tommy’s laughter carries down the stairs and out the front door.

Joel is holding a towel around his waist, chest dewy with bathwater, cheeks pink from the heat. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Actually, I think that was a best-case scenario,” you say dryly. “Ellie carries a knife.”

~*~

He takes more than a minute.

When Joel is gone, you wrap yourself in your robe and climb the stairs to the attic, distracted, thinking of his hand on your shoulder as he not-so-subtly claimed you in front of his brother. 

“Don’t tell Ellie yet.”

Yet.

You swallow hard at the sight of the light on the radio, indicating the recorder has been running. FEDRA seems to have awoken from its winter slumber, and you sink into the chair at your desk with a resigned sigh. You rewind the tape and press Play, but you’re barely listening to the playback.

…suspected Fireflies…Salt Lake City…

You’ve been in Jackson for almost a year, your longest assignment yet, and you’ve given FEDRA everything you have. You don’t ask why you haven’t been ordered to return to Boston, but it’s the question that keeps circling in the back of your mind.

And the longer you stay, the harder it is to consider the consequences of your inevitable departure.

~*~

“Emily? Still with us?”

The girl’s voice rises from the head of the exam table, groggy and faint. “Yeah?”

“You’re doing great, kid. Almost done.”

The girl’s guardian, Mrs. Wilson, is holding her hand, whispering soothing words. You’ve asked one of the nurses to observe and assist. You hope they don’t notice the slight tremor in your hands.

While you’d waited for the council’s answer, you’d studied everything you could get your hands on in the town library, cramming for the abortion procedure like it was a test, acutely aware of the ticking of the girl’s biological clock.

Within three weeks, a box of tools and supplies were delivered to the clinic’s doorstep. You’d opened it like a Christmas present, overwhelmed at your good fortune. They’d found a working portable aspirator, dilating inserts, and forceps, in addition to a bunch of copper IUDs, individually packaged and showing no real wear despite the years gone past.

Then it was all on you, and you just had to try your hardest not to fuck it up. You hadn’t felt this nervous since your first mission out of Boston.

And now, it was done. Tears are leaking down Emily’s face and she’s pale and shaking a little, but she’s not pregnant anymore. And once you finish placing an IUD, she won’t need to worry about it happening again for a long time.

~*~

Later, you flop back on your bed after a shower, relief and something like elation blossoming within you.

Your mind races, already thinking about the IUDs the supply run had procured. You’re ready to propose a sex education program for the school–you’ll volunteer to teach it if you have to.

You smile–no, you grin –and realize you haven’t felt like this since you were a fresh-faced resident. This must have been what it felt like to have a calling, to have hope that you could do something to make the world just a little bit better.

Then you think you hear the click-whir of the recorder kicking on in the attic above you, and the truth reasserts itself, settling over you like a heavy cloak. You’re planning for a future that doesn’t exist.

You’re still lying naked in your bed, ruminating, when you hear him knock. Groaning, you make your way downstairs and open the door, ready to meet your perfect distraction.

~*~

A few minutes later, you’re pressed into the softness of your mattress as his fingers play your body like a treasured instrument. One hand cups the back of your neck and the other runs a torturous loop down to the V of your thighs, caressing and stroking, back to your breasts, and your throat, teasing you into a puddle of pure need.

He hasn’t even removed his clothes. Seeing you standing in the doorway naked and lithe against the frame was all the impetus he needed to take you to bed.

When he finally slips his fingers between your legs with intent, the ferocity of your cry surprises you. His calloused fingers rub the nub of your clit in deliciously slow, lazy circles. Your hips match his movements, and you grasp his arm, feeling the muscles tensing under hot skin as he pleasures you.

“So fuckin’ good, beautiful,” he growls, the vibration of his words against your skin only serving to heighten the sensation. His hand moves lower and teases at your entrance, finding you more than ready. One finger slips inside, then two, his thumb replacing them at your clit. It’s a practiced dance at this point, and he knows all the moves.

But there’s something about the low light and the scrape of his fingers across your cervix that trips a wire in your brain. Your legs splayed, your fingers gripping the sheets, and suddenly the pain is back, so blinding you can’t breathe.

He’s nuzzling into your neck, whispering into your ear, but you can’t feel it; only the sensation of being scraped, of being impaled and dissected and undone, the pounding rush of blood in your ears. You pull away from him with a strangled groan of terror, the sudden absence of his fingers inside you is painful, until you’re gripping the edge of the bed and heaving over the side.

He’s calling your name. You’re dimly aware of him leaving the bed, kneeling next to your side, peering at you through the curtain of your hair, but all you can think is this is how it happens, this is how you die. Bleeding out in this cold, gray room, the winter light fading on the ruined city outside.

“Breathe,” he says, his voice reaching you from a great depth, so gently it cracks your heart. “Breathe, baby.”

You struggle against the tightness in your chest, the trembling of your limbs, the clench of your gut that threatens to turn you inside out. His hand finds yours at the edge of the mattress, but you barely feel it.

When it’s clear you’re coming back–back to your room in Jackson, back to yourself, back to him–he leaves and returns with a glass of water, encouraging you to sit up and drink.

“Better?”

You nod weakly, handing back the glass, and pulling your knees to your chest. He doesn’t attempt to touch you. At some point during the panic attack he’d wrapped you in a blanket, covering your nudity, and the simple kindness of this gesture floods you with gratitude and shame.

“Wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head tightly, unable to give voice to these feelings even if you want to. When you finally speak, your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper.

“Can you stay?”

He glances at the clock, and you remember that he has someone else to take care of, somewhere else to be. It’s getting dark, Ellie will be waiting.

“Yeah,” he says. “I can stay for a bit. Be right back.”

You hear him talking softly on the walkie in the hall, telling Tommy to go check on Ellie and that he’ll be home late.

You should call him back and tell him to go home to his kid. You’ve been through these before, and the worst is over. But the light is fading fast, and your body is suddenly wracked with a shudder. Your chest tightens, threatening. You close your eyes hard, focused on your breath.

In. Out. In. Out.

He returns, and you curl on your side under the quilt, facing away, not bothering to peel back the bedclothes. You’re tired and embarrassed and your abdomen aches. You feel the mattress shift when he lays down, curls around you. “This okay?”

You nod, and his arm comes around your waist, gently pulling you against him. You burrow into that feeling; the soft quilt, the warmth of his stomach against your back. The exhaustion is bone-deep, but you’re still wide awake ten minutes later. You think he is, too, the way his fingers are absently playing in your hair. You close your eyes and let the words flow.

“I was pregnant. Before.”

He shifts at this. His arm tightens around you slightly, as if to hold you steady, giving you something to grab onto.

“I…cheated…on my girlfriend. This guy…he was an old friend, but it wasn’t like that. We had too much to drink, things went too far, I…never told her. But then…”

You stop, momentarily unable to form the words. 

“Then,” he breathes the word into the back of your neck. Then.

The quiet is deafening. There is Then and there is Now , and you’re caught somewhere between, in a state of permanent loss.

“We were working a double shift when it…happened. This guy comes out of nowhere and attacks her and then, she’s…she was…was…”

You can’t speak around the lump in your throat. You wipe at your eyes, surprised to find fresh tears.

“I loved her,” you whisper. “I loved her but we never said it, we were so young, we had…our jobs and…it just wasn’t…but I was a shitty person, such a fucking slut –”

“Don’t,” he cuts you off gently. “Don’t do that.”

“I knew I couldn’t have the baby,” you continue after a while. “But they wouldn’t…FEDRA doesn’t…”

“I know,” he says. “I remember.”

Right.

You take a deep, watery breath. “I was fifteen weeks along, it was risky, but I didn’t…didn’t know what else to do. I had a…friend, she was a nurse. I asked her to help me. We did it in my dorm room.”

His hand finds yours under the quilt and grips it.

“It went bad,” you say softly. “I thought I was going to die. I think…maybe part of me did that day.”

“You wanted kids?”

You snort. “No. I don’t…I don’t think so. But it was the…I wanted…the option. I wanted the choice.”

He hums into your neck, pressing a kiss there. Something about getting the words into the open makes you feel lighter, helps the constriction in your chest loosen.

After several minutes, his even breathing at your back tells you Joel is still listening. Taking a shaky breath, you risk turning this newfound peace upside down.

“Ellie said…you had a daughter once.”

He tenses behind you, but his voice is soft. “She told you that? Why?”

You shrug. “What was her name?”

A long pause, so long you’re not sure if he’ll respond, but eventually, he does.

“Her name was Sarah,” he says, the words spoken like a vow, like an incantation to something sacred.

“Sarah,” you whisper, the name rolling heavy off your tongue. He makes a rumbling sound of acknowledgment in his chest.

“Y’said you had a girlfriend? What was her name?”

Oh , you think, oh oh , and it hurts somewhere deep and raw and tender. You haven’t spoken it aloud in years.

“It was Jo. Joanna.”

“Mmm.”

He doesn’t say she would forgive you. He doesn’t say you would have made a good mother. He doesn’t treat you like a broken thing to be fixed. He just holds you until your body feels like a safe place again, because that’s all he can offer…and for now, it’s enough.

~*~

You pretend to be asleep when Joel takes his leave, pressing a too-gentle kiss to your forehead before he does so. When you hear the front door latch shut, you slip into your robe and pad downstairs. You can’t stay in bed without thinking of him, without remembering his hands on your body, and it’s too intimate, too real.

You’ve crossed a boundary, you see that now. You had a full-on panic attack and spilled your guts and he told you his dead daughter’s name.

You asked him to fucking stay .

You’re sending messages in the dark of night over the airwaves, knowing someday you’ll have to turn and betray him and everyone he loves. Shame is a dark shape taking root in your core, spreading like a fungus, keeling you over with its weight.

You ball yourself up on the couch, cheek pressed to the scratchy fabric, and for the second time that night, you try to remember how to breathe.

[gayest-persona-character]

ROUND 7

*the door slams open, a person standing covered in blood and tears* I finished my exams

Welcome back! I took a little break that was mostly unplanned; one day, the 6th round ended, then I blinked and a whole week had passed and I had exams coming up. Gotta love those midterms. Anyway, back to the polls. We are nearing the end of our main bracket! It has been a blast so far, and don't forget that I plan on doing a loser bracket for more fun.

Link to the full bracket here!

Rules:

Vote for who you think is more queer/gay (doesn't matter if you think they're bi, pan, gay, lesbian, ace, etc. Who's the most not straight!) You can vote on vibes alone, canon events, pretty much whatever your heart desires.

I will allow propaganda in the form of asks or notes (tags and comments) or reblogs.

Be nice and respectful. Not everyone has the same headcanons.

Remember, this is mostly just for fun! We have a few submitted characters for this exact purpose, so don't take things too seriously. (It doesn't matter what the results are, most persona characters will be queer-coded in my heart)

Matchups are as below:

Tatsuya Suou vs. Aigis

Jun Kurosu vs. Lala Escargot

[nightimedreamersworld]

Happy SSS folks! Haven't been tagged yet, so I'm going to start it.

Tried a new color scheme for my banner, and I like this one much better. It's yellow and blue just like the og carry on cover! I think it fits.

Right now, I'm attending a conference on my field of study, and as wonderful as it has been, I'm also VERY tired. On top of that, as soon as I get back to Uni, there'll be two exams waiting for me lmao. So I've been split between attending lectures and studying.

As a result- almost no writing done, boohoo. Right when I'm brimming with ideas and motivation! All I've managed to get down since Wednesday is the following snippet, written just for you guys:

Baz

I curse Mitali Bunce with every fiber of my being.  The woman is a fierce and brilliant magician, I don't mind saying. Penelope didn't fall far from the tree. After the Mage was arrested (may he rot at the top of a tower) I really couldn't think of anyone better to take on the job. My mother, perhaps. But no one else.  In a little less than six months, Professor Bunce brought back the drama club and revitalised the library. I've also heard she's bringing back some sort of admission test next year. Those are immense positives. However, she also decided to revitalise our entire curriculum, which means, just shy of graduating, we now have to study things like maths and geography.  And the straw that broke the vampire's neck, of course—fucking Sex Ed.

This wip is going to be so fun and chill and sweet istg. It's the perfect polar opposite to my other wip, and as whiplash-y as it feels to write both at the same time, it's exactly what I needed haha

Tagging some friends: @artsyunderstudy @cutestkilla @captain-aralias @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @whogaveyoupermission @stitchyqueer @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @larkral @valeffelees @ivelovedhimthroughworse @prettygoododds @forabeatofadrum @hushed-chorus and anyone else who'd like to participate!

[clowndensation]

do you guys wanna know something crazy (going on a work rant)

so back in like october, i flew out to take a course/exam for work (for which i had to sign a contract agreeing that i'd stay with the company for at least 2 years, or else i'd have to pay back the cost of the trip) with a coworker. we both passed the exam (weeee yaayyyy woooooo).

my coworker, who went with me, had his bonus taken away from him shortly after this, because he got angry at our new owners (because they were attempting to make him write up the contract we had to sign for this trip, and research the cheapest options for hotels, cars, and air travel, 3 days before the trip, on top of his workload. he refused to do this, saying that he offered to do this research months beforehand and was denied. instead, he booked whatever was easiest after they refused to do any of the research themselves, and then told them to get fucked. essentially). they gave me part of his bonus, saying it was because i passed the test, implying my coworker also got the bonus.

based on both of us passing, our new owners decided to send everyone in the company to the course/exam (they did not have to sign the contract we signed). of the 8 people they sent, only 1 passed, and he's the guy from my side of the company (all the other people who took the test were from the other company our new owners bought). i could have told them this was going to happen, for a myriad of reasons. such as: nobody else wanted to take the test, there's no incentive for them to do well on the test, and also the other company literally doesn't know what they're doing, and all of their processes go against federal policy.

after the results came out, the guys from the other company told my coworker "the entire time we've worked alongside your company up to now, we thought you guys were stupid. but i guess maybe you know more than we thought". as. a compliment? <- this wasn't news to us anyways. they weren't subtle about it. just shocking that they thought this was a thing that should be said out loud.

our owners hiked all of our service prices 10-15% based off the fact that our techs are "rigorously trained to industry standard". our website is filled with incorrect information, and offering services we can't perform, because the people who wrote it don't know what we do.

we lost two coworkers from our side of the company, and the owners said they wouldn't be hiring anybody to fill those roles, because we "have enough people" <- we're currently working 50 hour weeks (we get shouted at for having overtime, so they don't like this), and if one of us gets sick or has vacation, we're unable to service everyone we need to each month (we are an industry that works with state and federal companies, who are required to have their equipment certified bi-yearly, and who will be fined for missing those dates.)

anyways things are going well 👍

[charmixpower]

Stella, class A-1

Stella is the product of a quirk marriage between the two hero's Radius and Luna, with the result of a half hot half cold quirk

She has one older sibling, Astrid, who was deemed a failure

Stella at first lived at home with her parents but Radius and Luna can't fucking stand each other so when she was in elementary the divorced and moved to separate houses where they'd have half custody

This eventually degraded to Stella living with two maids provided by her parents with weekly visits, to monthly visits, to bi monthly visits when the UA exams hit

Despite having the perfect quirk, Stella has severe ADHD to the point where her grades are completely terrible. Which makes her parents see her as a partial failure

Despite this Stella is a savant at combat and using her quirk comes about as naturally as breathing

She's an amazing straightest and essentially trounces any physical competition they have, and then fails her math test because she can't remember any of formulas

One of her goals at U.A is to impress her parents enough that they come back to spend more time with her

[roggerdalton-blog]

Top NEET Coaching in Nashik for Aspiring Medical Students

Nashik, with its growing reputation as an educational hub, offers excellent opportunities for students aiming to crack the NEET (National Eligibility cum Entrance Test). With the increasing competition and the challenging nature of NEET, choosing the right coaching institute can make all the difference. Here’s a detailed guide to finding the best NEET coaching in Nashik to help aspiring medical students succeed.

Why NEET Coaching Matters

NEET is the gateway to prestigious medical colleges in India. It tests a student’s knowledge and aptitude in physics, chemistry, and biology. With nearly 20 lakh aspirants appearing annually, the exam’s difficulty level and competitive nature demand strategic preparation.

While self-study is essential, NEET coaching provides additional advantages:

Expert Guidance: Experienced faculty break down complex concepts.

Structured Curriculum: Coaching centers offer well-organized study plans tailored to NEET’s syllabus.

Mock Tests and Practice: Regular assessments mimic the exam pattern, boosting confidence.

Doubt Clearing: One-on-one sessions help students resolve queries efficiently.

Key Features of the Top NEET Coaching in Nashik

To identify the best NEET coaching institute in Nashik, aspiring students should look for the following features:

Experienced Faculty: Top coaching institutes in Nashik employ educators with years of experience in preparing students for NEET. They focus on building conceptual clarity and problem-solving skills, ensuring students are well-prepared.

Comprehensive Study Material: Quality study material plays a crucial role in understanding topics. The best coaching centers provide concise notes, in-depth explanations, and question banks to cover the entire NEET syllabus.

Regular Mock Tests: Mock tests are a cornerstone of effective preparation. Coaching centers that conduct weekly or bi-weekly tests help students become familiar with NEET’s exam pattern and time management.

Personalized Attention: Not all students learn at the same pace. Institutes offering small batch sizes and individualized mentoring help students address weaknesses and improve performance.

Modern Infrastructure: Digital classrooms, online resources, and tech-enabled learning tools are becoming essential for modern coaching institutes to deliver interactive and engaging education.

Track Record of Success: A coaching institute’s past results are a good indicator of its effectiveness. Institutes with a high percentage of students securing top ranks or gaining admission into reputed medical colleges should be considered.

Top NEET Coaching Centers in Nashik

1. Resonance Nashik

Overview: Resonance is a renowned name in the coaching industry. Their Nashik center offers NEET-focused programs for medical aspirants.

Features: Expert faculty, meticulously designed course materials, and frequent tests.

Why Choose Resonance: Proven success stories and comprehensive guidance.

2. Allen Career Institute

Overview: Allen is a nationwide leader in NEET coaching with a presence in Nashik.

Features: Specialized medical entrance preparation, individual mentoring, and extensive test series.

Why Choose Allen: Known for its stellar success rate and consistent performance.

3. Aakash Institute

Overview: Aakash Institute has a reputation for producing top NEET rankers. Their Nashik center offers advanced coaching solutions.

Features: Tech-enabled learning, hybrid classroom options, and robust support systems.

Why Choose Aakash: Expert faculty and a track record of excellence.

4. IIB (Ideal Institute of Biology)

Overview: Specializing exclusively in NEET and medical entrance coaching, IIB is a trusted name in Nashik.

Features: Focus on biology, advanced problem-solving techniques, and affordable fees.

Why Choose IIB: Tailored programs for NEET aspirants aiming for top ranks.

Tips for Aspiring NEET Students

Start Early: Begin your NEET preparation early to cover the syllabus thoroughly and allow time for revision.

Stick to a Routine: Discipline is key to success. Create a timetable balancing school, coaching, and self-study.

Focus on NCERT: NCERT textbooks are the backbone of NEET preparation, particularly for biology. Master these before moving to advanced materials.

Take Regular Tests: Practice through mock tests to improve accuracy and time management.

Address Weak Areas: Identify subjects or topics where you struggle and seek help from your teachers or peers to strengthen them.

Stay Positive: NEET preparation is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay motivated, and remember that consistent effort pays off.

The Role of Parents and Guardians

Parents and guardians play a crucial role in a student’s NEET journey. Providing emotional support, ensuring a distraction-free environment, and encouraging a healthy lifestyle can significantly impact a student’s performance.

Conclusion

Nashik offers a range of excellent NEET coaching options for aspiring medical students. By choosing the right institute, adopting effective study strategies, and staying committed, students can secure top ranks and achieve their dream of becoming a doctor.

Invest in quality education today and lay the foundation for a successful medical career. Choose the best NEET coaching in Nashik and start your journey toward excellence.

[suganya09]

How to Balance Static and Dynamic Portions in IAS Preparation

One of the biggest challenges IAS aspirants face is balancing the static and dynamic portions of the UPSC syllabus. The static portion includes foundational subjects like History, Geography, Polity, and Economics, which generally don’t change over time. The dynamic portion covers current events, ongoing issues, and policies that change regularly. Mastering both aspects is crucial for success in the IAS exam, and in this blog, we’ll explore how to create a balanced approach.

1. Understand the Syllabus Thoroughly

Begin by thoroughly understanding which parts of the IAS syllabus are static and which are dynamic. For example, Indian Polity, Modern History, and Physical Geography largely fall under static portions. Topics like current national and international events, government schemes, environmental issues, and scientific advancements are dynamic.

By distinguishing these areas early on, you can structure your preparation more effectively.

2. Dedicate Time Separately for Each Portion

Set aside specific study time for both static and dynamic portions in your daily or weekly schedule. For example:

Static Portion: Spend a few hours each day on static subjects like Polity, History, and Geography. Focus on building a strong conceptual understanding, which will serve as a foundation for the exam.

Dynamic Portion: Allocate time for newspapers, current affairs magazines, and relevant websites to keep up with daily events. Many aspirants find it helpful to dedicate about an hour a day or a few hours on weekends to catch up on current events.

3. Use Integrated Sources for Better Coverage

For dynamic topics, consider sources that integrate current affairs with static knowledge. For example, an understanding of Indian Polity can help you interpret and analyze recent bills, amendments, and court judgments. Publications like The Hindu, Indian Express, and monthly current affairs magazines are great for linking the static concepts with the latest events. These sources often provide context that ties current events to historical or conceptual roots, making your study more interconnected and efficient.

4. Make Short Notes for Quick Revision

Create concise notes for both static and dynamic topics. For the static portion, organize summaries of key points, definitions, and important dates. For the dynamic portion, maintain a notebook for current events, categorizing topics by subject (e.g., Environment, Science & Tech, International Relations). Writing down important details will help you remember them better and simplify revision closer to the exam.

5. Practice Mock Tests with a Mix of Static and Dynamic Questions

Regular practice is essential to balancing the static and dynamic portions effectively. Many IAS coaching centers, including TNPSC coaching centre in Coimbatore, offer mock tests that cover both areas. Practice these mixed-format tests regularly to test your knowledge of both sections and get a feel for the actual exam. These tests will help you develop a balanced answer-writing style, which is key to scoring well.

6. Revise Both Portions Regularly

The IAS syllabus is vast, and it’s easy to forget what you’ve studied. Regular revision is crucial to ensure you retain knowledge of both static and dynamic portions. For static subjects, schedule weekly or bi-weekly revisions. For dynamic topics, review current affairs every month. This will keep your knowledge fresh and allow you to connect recent events with the foundational concepts you’ve studied.

Conclusion

Balancing the static and dynamic portions in IAS preparation requires strategic planning, disciplined time management, and regular practice. By dedicating focused time to each section, making integrated notes, and testing your knowledge consistently, you can approach the exam confidently. For structured guidance, consider joining TNPSC coaching centre in Coimbatore, where expert faculty and resources can help you stay updated on current affairs while strengthening your grasp of core subjects.

Mastering this balance will not only boost your confidence but also enhance your performance in the IAS exam, giving you a competitive edge in your journey to success.