#BG3 post game

[thewritetofreespeech]

Halsin x Reader

words: 1.2K

rating: G

pairing: Halsin x Reader/Tav (post-epilogue)

-----------------------------------🐻-------------------------------------

When Halsin took on the duty of reforming the Shadow Lands and taking care of the refugees there, he didn’t realize how much work it would be.

He was not shy of hard work. Halsin loved it. He felt useless for the first time in centuries. However, taking care of so many children, along with helping Thaniel resort balance to the blighted nature around the land, was draining.

“Are you alright master Halsin?”

The druid turned to see one of his old charges there, Willow. A sweet girl. Shy as a rabbit from what he remembered from his time in the grove, but still brave enough to leave it when her heart felt the call to help those in need. She had arrived from the Grove a few months after his own return from meeting friends. Wanting to help. Halsin had been delighted. Selfishly hoping that perhaps some of his efforts as Archdruid had rubbed off on her.

“Yes, I’m fine Willow. And you don’t need to call me ‘master Halsin’ anymore. As I’ve mentioned, Halsin is fine.”

“Oh. Yes. Sorry. Old habits.” The girl bashfully fiddled with her hair and shuffled her feet. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You looked tired.”

“Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to look the part, now, would we?” Halsin teased. To which Willow bashfully stammered more, and he laughed. “Don’t worry. I appreciate the concern. I am a little tired if I’m being honest. Nothing a goodnight’s sleep won’t cure.”

“You do so much to take care of us mast—I mean, Halsin. Someone should take care of you.”

“Don’t worry about me.” He replied. Perhaps missing the true meaning of her words. “I am quite capable of taking care of myself. Most days. And, I do have someone to help take care of me.”

Since the meeting with their friends, Halsin was delighted to have [Y/N] back by his side. Their time apart had been brief for an elf, yet it felt like the longest time in his existence. He was over the moon when they agreed to come back here with him, now that things were settled; here and in the Gate. Their presence, their compassion, their desire to help this place as well, was a light that this place desperately needed still. And, he had come to realize, he did too.

Halsin said his goodnights to Willow and returned to the small home he had built, which now housed him and [Y/N]. Where once he would have spent his life in tents, or even simpler under the stars, more and more these days he was growing fond of these walls. A phase, he assumed.

"Not making any progress with her?" [Y/N] asked when he arrived at their door. Their ‘town’ was very small. The center of which you could see clearly from one end to the other from your own front door. Which was what [Y/N] was doing with their evening cup of tea.

"What?" Halsin looked confused. Then realized what they must be talking about. "Oh, Willow? She is very clever, but I fear it will take her some time before understanding the basics of her medicine and magic. Progress is a process."

[Y/N] chuckled. "No, I mean progress. You know she's into you, right?"

Halsin was for once surprised. He supposed, deep down, he knew of their attraction to him. He was usually very good at uncovering the desires of others. But with Willow he had been.... blinded to her advances. "Honestly no. I hadn't noticed."

It was [Y/N]’s turn to be surprised it seemed, as they pondered his comment and sipped their tea. “Oh. I’m surprised. I thought you would have jumped on that in a moment. Literally.”

Halsin frowned a little at [Y/N]. “I don’t ‘jump’ on anything.” True, he was open to all experiences that nature had to offer, but he thought he was a little more discerning than that. “Besides, when would I have time? Between the children, the lands, what little spare time I have is spent with you or in bed.”

“Or both.” He had to chuckle at that. When oh when would he develop the skill for not putting his foot in his mouth. Maybe in his next quarter century. “But, you know I don’t mind if you pursue something with her. You’re welcome to explore….whatever path you’d like. With whomever you’d like.”

Halsin was taken aback. Was that how he sounded when he brought this up to his lovers? “And you would really be comfortable with that?”

“You told me when we initially got together that you weren’t someone for monogamy.” They reminded him. “I didn’t assume that changed, or our relationship changed while we were apart. If you want to spend an evening with someone, I understand.”

That had all been true. When he met them, he had been very clear that monogamy wasn’t for him. He had told them that he kept to nature’s way. To roam. To find root and purchase in whatever bed he might find like the dandelion seed on the wind. So why hadn’t he done that?

At first Halsin thought that it was because he was so focused on his new cause. As he also mentioned to them when they met, he could get consumed with something and rarely come up for air. Plus, the children were his top priority. It wouldn’t be fair to have a partner when his full attention couldn’t be on them.

But, the more he thought about it in this moment, Halsin realized that he, for once, simply hadn’t been interested.

In the few moments alone, when his thoughts drifted to desire, he thought of [Y/N] and nothing else. Their face was what he thought of when he took hold of his own needs. Their sweet words. Memories of their body. Now that they were back in the flesh, his eye had wondered even less further. The thought of spending an evening with the willowy Willow didn’t disgust him, but he also didn’t feel desire for it.

Halsin suddenly realized, to his own shock, that he had almost completely shifted from the roaming bear to the wolf. Complete with his own cave, and pack, and mate. He had been…domesticated.

“I…don’t think so.” Halsin finally answered [Y/N]. “At least, not at this time. I would rather stay home with you tonight. If that’s alright?”

[Y/N] smiled at him. Then walked inside with what remained of their tea. “I didn’t come all this way to sit at home alone. Again, not that I would mind for an evening. But, you know.”

Halsin thought he did.

Though he couldn’t say he understood a lot of things going on in the moment, what he did understand is that he wanted to be with [Y/N]. To be only with them for what time they were allowed. To let himself be domesticated.

[hexed-padlock]

Thinking about how elves can reincarnate. What if there are a few individuals besides elves that have a similar ability. Take our dear Tav for example. What if in a past life, they were a great Artificer. Nowadays, they’ve settled for a simpler life alongside their beloved Astarion. What Astarion doesn’t know, however, is that his partner has been working on a special ring for him. Tav went on a small journey without Astarion to look for the Cloak of Dragomir, study it’s enchantments, and create a ring that has the cloak’s enchantments but is able mitigates its negative effects. It takes them months, and the one year anniversary of saving Baldur’s Gate is fast approaching. The last month is spent in a haze of furious work, getting the ring done just in time. They’re always away, spending long hours getting everything perfect. Gale and Tav have been spending a lot of time together researching and working on the ring as a team.

Then the one year anniversary of the Absolute’s defeat comes around. The whole city is in a joyous mood, a massive festival is set to run all throughout the night.

The old gang is back together, standing by the docks once again. It’s dark, but sunrise is just a few minutes away. Tav is by Gale’s side, and he hands them a box with the ring inside.

Astarion sees Gale hand Tav something as Tav gives him a peck on the cheek in thanks. Ah, so this is why Tav’s been so distant lately. He sulks in a corner, self-loathing taking hold. But Tav bounds over, grabs his hands and pulls him out of the shadows.

Astarion looked at their happy expression, noting that daylight was coming. Is this how this’d end? Burning in the sunlight as the love of his life leaves him for that damned wizard? He looks away, refusing to meet Tav’s eyes.

Tav finally registers the expression on his face as guilt grips them. “Love, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if you felt like I neglected you, but all this was for our future. Please look at me.” Hours spent perfecting a gift for him were still hours spent away from his side, they kept it a secret, not wanting to ruin the surprise.

“Starlight, my beautiful night sky. Please.”

And he finally looks at them, and they’re on their knees, holding a box out, a ring with a single glowing stone shining out in the darkness.

“Astarion Ancunin, my love, will you marry me?”

Astarion stares, awe, disbelief, confusion, all warring inside him—But above it all, relief, fear, and love.

Breathless, he whispers, “Yes.”

Tav slips the ring on and pulls him into a kiss, just as the first rays of sunlight bathe the city in a golden glow. Astarion panics for a moment, trying to find shade, before he feels only the warm caress of the sun, and the gentle touch of his lover.

The party once stood upon these docks as the wreckage of the city lay around them, incomplete and fractured as Astarion disappeared into the shadows and Karlach vanished back into Avernus. It was a solemn celebration. Now, they were all finally together, standing in the glorious light of a bright future as the rebuilt city celebrates it’s continued freedom.

The future is bright and the world is so full of color.

[spacebarbarianweird]

HC or fic request (whatever you have the inspiration for): post-game unromanced Astarion (let's say Tav chose another companion from the very beginning) with an OFC of your choosing, though I would love a human or even a half-elf. As much as I love Tavstarion, I feel like the the possibility of Astarion finding love in someone other than Tav a rather unexplored scenario in fan fiction.

I like this idea, too! You know, before the patch 6 ending was released, people had been sure that Astarion would be doomed to be alone if didn't romance Tav. But unromanced Astarion obviously lives his best life possible! He hunts monsters, enjoys his freedom, explores himself. And he can be sure he doesn't adapt his mindset to his lover's interests. I actually think if I am not tired of writing about Astarion, I will write a longfic set in another timeline where Astarion doesn't stay with Tav and goes on his own. As for now, here is a headcanon!

Unromanced Astarion Post-Game

Masterlist

Headcanons

It isn't easy to be on his own.

Astarion craved solitude when he was a slave but now he doesn't know what to do.

He can't make decisions for himself. Which quest to take, what clothes to wear, what inn to stay.

Astarion finds it crippling to be so dependent on the opinions of others - but what other choice does he have?

He doesn't trust anyone.

And the world has changed so much in the last two centuries!

He doesn't recognize places, he has no idea how that world works now.

At days, he cries, mourning his life pitying himself.

Six months pass. He gets invited to the party.

Astarion collects himself. He needs to impress his old friends, he must not look like a wreck.

He tells about his monster hunting job avoiding the fact he barely worked like one. He drinks and laughs but he is a bad liar.

Halsin, the archdruid, doesn't force Astarion to talk but offers to go to the Shadowcursed lands and help the Emerald Grove and the Harpers get rid of monsters.

Astarion agrees that instant.

For the next ten years, he has a purpose. For the next ten years, he has fun.

And he finally starts talking to other people about his experience.

To his surprise, people around show support.

Yes, they are still afraid of him but they say he has every right to be the way he is now after all that happened.

Ten years later, Astarion grows tired of this place and decides to leave.

Gods damn it, he will be missed!

Astarion goes north, hoping to see more and more of the Sword Coast.

Vampirism has its benefits regarding strength and regeneration but, sure, it's better not to be an undead.

He decides to go looking for the cure.

Eventually, he joins an adventuring party of the most weird and random people Astarion has ever seen.

And the weirdest of them all - is a Spore Druid who talks to herself.

She is straightforward. Rude. Weird. Oblivious to so many things, Astarion is surprised this person has managed to leave the house and not get lost.

But utterly adorable.

She is a Wood Elf and her skin is like copper.

It takes him more years to realize he is in love. The feeling is weird to him, he doesn't know what to do with it.

They spend decades traveling together and looking for the cure before ending up in a distant village where no one pays attention to the weird couple.

Her Circle accepts him, too.

Astarion doesn't know if it lasts forever or if he will leave eventually.

But for now...

This is good.

--

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

@nyx-knox

@jessaryss

[rielzero]

Some Gale Fluff

With post-game vampire Loki

Gale: *just reading a book, completely immersed in the text*

Loki: *intense, cat-like staring*

Gale: *turns a page*

Loki: *climbs over him and begins to rub his face in Gale's chest*

Gale: Oh- You're a bit chilly, *surprised*

Loki: *plants his face on Gale's chest*

Gale: ..I'm starting to wonder if I have a type. *picturing Astarion having done the same a little while ago* Hmm.

Loki: You're just warm, Gale..

Loki: And you smell nice.

Gale: Thank you for noticing, and new book smell is the best. *whiffs his book loudly* Aah. Perfect Sunday afternoon.

Loki: *snorts, amused*

[leftoverdinosaurbones]

Chapter 3: The Illusion of Choice

F!Reader (Dark Urge), Spawn Astarion, Haarlep, Raphael - series is NSFW (minors DNI)

[Major Spoilers - Set post BG3]

***

Here is the next chapter of the fanfic I've been working on, featuring one of my absolute favs - Raphael <3

You can read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 here on tumblr or on Ao3.

Content Warning: manipulation, power imbalance, kidnapping (of adults) - let me know if I've missing anything here, please!

Summary: As requested, you travel to the House of Hope to see what Raphael wants to share with you. You are a bit worried though, since your last visit there went... much worse than expected.

Chapter 3: The Illusion of Choice

The House of Hope emerges before you, the red hues and shadows from the dimly lit atmosphere, coupled with the unsurprising smells of fire and brimstone, lightly masked by cherries. Anxiety burns in your stomach, feeding on a multitude of worries. You wonder whether it was wise to come here without telling Astarion, or any of your friends. Nervous about seeing Raphael after all this time, how different he might be with his new power. You recall the last time you were here, the smell of the place bringing you viscerally back to the most painful moments of the memory as it fills your senses.

Raphael’s face crowds your mind, his skin red and face adorned with horns. His features are contorted in anger - at you . He towered over you, crowding your space, forcing your back against the wall. Wings flexed and spread menacingly, he made you feel so small, alone, and quite frankly, stupid. His smell, now more sulfur than the pleasant cherries, assaulted your nostrils as you truly started to realize the magnitude of your actions.

“So you tried to come here, to my house, on your own. To what end? For what purpose?” he snarled, pupils blown. “Certainly, you already have what you need from me. And I cannot possibly imagine you’d be so incredibly foolish to try to take something from my home or - even more idiotic- to consider breaking our deal.

“You, with your divinity power” he spit, sneering with disgust, “knowing that it doesn’t stand a chance against me. So if this isn’t the reason why you are here, then tell me, little mouse . Why have you so brazenly decided to break into my home?”

Korrilla intercepts you, releasing you from the vice grip of the memory.

“Wise of you to show up so quickly. This time, you are expected. I imagine you’ve learned your lesson though, am I right?” One side of Korilla’s lips curled up in a vicious smirk.

“Here, take this pass. Raphael will meet you in the Boudoir when he is ready.” Korilla hands you the pass and quickly vanishes from sight, eager to be out of your company.

***

Haarlep quickly catches your eye when you pass through the Boudoir door, as they lounge in the restoration pool in your recently used form. You wince as they emerge, dripping, to approach you - finding it so incredibly odd to see yourself in this way. Haarlep trills at your visible discomfort, energized by a new victim to torment.

“It was so nice to enjoy you again, though this time was a bit different than our last rendevous.” Haarlep’s hands slowly worked up and down your - their - bare skin as they continue to slink towards you. Their gentle caresses begin to weaken your resolve, soothing your own anxious thoughts that filled your head only moments earlier.

Haarlep grabs your hands (how did they get so close to you?) and leads you to the bed. You began to argue with yourself, part of you trying to will yourself to stop while the other was begging you to give in.

Haarlep pushes you down to sit on the edge of the bed as they change into their Raphael form, placing their arms on either side of you to look directly into your eyes. The part of you that protests falls silent, too quickly. Your body remembers the phantom pangs of pleasure from earlier, and aches from missing the real thing. You feel your body start to arch up towards Haarlep, embarrassingly desperate for their touch. Your hands fly up to their chest, the warmth of their body emanating through your hands as you greedily explore their body.

“My, my, aren’t we eager?” Haarlep hums, amused at your reaction.

They bury their face in your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses from the dip in your clavicle up to your ear. A shiver courses through your body and you pull them on top of you, pressing your body flat against the bed. You wrap your legs around their waist, binding them flush against your body with a fierce need. You tangle your fingers in their hair, letting a soft moan escape your lips as they continue to worship your neck.

“Wouldn’t it be so nice to have this all the time?” Haarlep murmured in your ear, nipping at your earlobe. “If you just make one small little agreement with me, we could have so much fun together.”

Haarlep pulled away from your neck to look at you, bringing a finger to pull down over your lips before sinking into a kiss. First, just with their lips but then opening their mouth to bite your lower lip before exploring your mouth with their tongue. You melted into their kiss, arching further into their body, pressing your hips tighter into theirs. For some reason, their ideas were really starting to make good sense…

Haarlep broke away from the kiss, leaving you feeling empty for just a moment as they transitioned back to your neck. Their hand started to dip below your shirt to explore your chest, and you realized you were holding your breath.

“Oh, I would so treasure you, little mouse. Treat you so much sweeter than Raphael would, we both know that.”

This comment jars you out of your delightful stupor. You put your hands against their chest and unwound your legs to try to straighten back up to ask what they mean by this. As you look to get back up, another figure becomes clear from behind Haarlep.

You blink - and blink again. Raphael comes into focus. You aren’t sure how long he has been there, just…watching. But there he sits, looking at you, clearly pleased with himself. Surely it has something to do with how fast you ran to him when summonsed, especially after our last encounter here at his house. A scowl spreads across your face as you realize how far you’ve fallen - at how quickly you’ve lost your confident self-reliance. Now look at you, stumbling over yourself to come when called.

Haarlep releases you so you can sit up on the edge of the bed. Your scowl falls away as you feel the immense power coursing from Raphael, magnified by the crown. You are reminded of when you stood in the overwhelming presence of the Netherbrain, willing yourself to be strong enough to stand up to its force but instead failing, miserably.

Raphael stands, his hands superfluously smoothly his perfect overcoat. He looks wistfully somewhere past you, towards something you can’t see in the distance.

“I am sure you are wondering how my war is going.” He doesn’t pause long enough for a response - he isn’t looking for one.

“Thanks to your renewed support and cooperation in my campaign, things are going so very well. In just a short time, I will be at Zariel’s door to take her down and secure the leadership of Avernus. She is hemorrhaging her supporters by the day.” He scoffed at her weakness. “It will only be a matter of time before she will fall before me.”

His gaze turns back to you, his eyes hot and piercing, like he can skewer you in just one look. You try to hold his gaze, an attempt to bolster your own strength more than to intimidate him. That was challenging to do before, but virtually impossible now. Because of you. He is the powerful monster that stands before you now because of your doing, your decisions. You shut your eyes tight and shake your head, severing eye contact to try to remove the darkness that clouds your thoughts - to shake away the guilt.

A clawed finger traces up from the bottom of your neck to your chin, lifting up your face. Your eyes spring open in response, surprised by the sudden touch and closeness. You’ve never been so close to Raphael and now, he is holding your face in his hand.

“You may be wondering why I’ve invited you here, little mouse. You see, despite everything, I still find our particular...situation… to be quite valuable.” His finger traced back down to the base of your throat.

“Now, of course, when people come to my house to try to make a mockery of me, I don’t tend to show mercy.” His hand suddenly gripped your throat, with a threatening squeeze that took your breath away with a gasp. This was certainly a more direct approach than you were used to in your dealings with Raphael in the past. You weren’t sure what changed him more - the Crown or your escapade.

“But fortunately for you, I find you much more useful to me alive. For now. And you did make good on your promise and delivered the Crown, my most cherished client.”

He released his grip around your throat and brought his hands back to his coat as you took in a greedy gulp of air. Is it possible that... a twisted part of you even liked it? You tried to stifle your arousal. You glanced quickly toward Haarlep, saw his mischievous grin, and knew your secret was out.

Raphael causally leaned back against a wardrobe. “I invited you here to offer you another deal.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

“Before you throw another one of your tantrums, you might want to listen to this one. Your friends, Karlach and Wyll, have been captured by Zariel.”

You lept off the bed. “Holy shit! Why didn’t you lead with that?!” You chastised the Devil, consumed by a rage that re-ignited your confidence.

Your mind raced, thinking of Karlach back in the clutches of Zariel again. Any Wyll, dangled in front of Mizora, so soon after finally getting free of her clutches. How long would he be able to wait before making another deal with her? Especially if it was to save Karlach? He’s too good for his own good.

You scowled, pacing the floor in front of Raphael in quick steps, your rage threatening to bust through the seams of your skin. The injustice of it all pained you to your very soul, resonating with your nearly dormant values as a vengeance-sworn paladin. You would simply do anything for the people you loved, who are trapped in this cruel and twisted way.

“Hmm,” Raphael nearly purred with content at your response, though you barely registered his response as your mind raced with violence and plans of escape.

“I, of course, feel so terribly sorry for you.” His voice was thick with feigned concern, practiced throughout a lifetime of manipulating mortals. “Unfortunately, I can’t just go out there to directly save them from their fate. I’m in the midst of a war, as you know. However, I do see a very interesting opportunity for both of us. And we do make quite the team together. How can I pass up the opportunity to work with my most favorite client?”

“Let’s get on with it. My friends are suffering while you are playing this self-indulgent mind game with me,” you fumed, fully consumed by your own plans for revenge.

“Tut tut, dear. Please, I have been so anticipating us meeting again. I would hate for you to disappoint me, again. It would be good for you to remember who you are speaking with, and your place.”

With a snap of his fingers, you felt a tremendous force pressing down on your entire body, shoving you to your knees in front of him. Your racing thoughts immediately came to a halt as you attempted, in vain, to twist back up to your feet. Your face turned a deep shade of red, though you were sure if it was from embarrassment, anger, or…something else.

Raphael smiled and ran one of his hands roughly through your hair, yanking your head back to look at him directly in his eyes. Your scalp was sensitive from the rough treatment only a few hours earlier (from the same hands? no, that’s not possible). Tears sprung to your eyes but you blinked them away, willing yourself with every fiber of your being to maintain eye contact.

Somewhere in the near distance, Harleep laughed darkly, appreciative of how much you clearly enjoyed this treatment.

“Mmm, much better,” Raphael laughed to himself, releasing his hold on your hair. “It is good to see this fire back in your spirit again - we hadn’t seen it in a while. And you will certainly need it in order to save your friends.”

Raphael took his place back, leaning against the wardrobe. “I can help you take on Zariel. I know you’ll need help, since you know how ineffective Divine damage will be.” He sneered down at you, proud of himself.

You held eye contact. “And you are just doing this out of the kindness of your heart, yes?” your voice full of malice.

“Well no, of course not. It’s only fair that we should both gain something from our arrangement, right? But I won’t be sharing details until we have an official agreement.”

You sigh. He’s right, you need all you can get for support. Still, you try to clarify - “My soul…?” You leave the rest of the sentence hanging.

“No, I don’t have to ask for that yet, my little mouse.” He bends down to meet you face-to-face, then moves to whisper in your ear. “Though I have a feeling you’ll be begging me to have your soul sometime soon.” The words send a shiver down your spine, a foreboding mix of curiosity and… desire? No. That can’t be it.

“Okay” you sigh, “I’ll take the deal”.

“Excellent!” Raphael claps his hands as a contract appears in mid-air for you to sign. You feel the invisible weight disappear from your shoulders, allowing you to stand and sign the agreement.

“I am so glad to be working together again, my dear. Remember what I told you back in Sharess’ Caress? I do like you. How could I not? Even with our ups and downs. Maybe a future deal could be worked out, and I can give you something else you need - perhaps a cure that you’ve been looking for?”

Your breath catches in your throat. A cure - for Astarion? Before you can say a word, Raphael continues with his speech, barely letting a beat go by.

“Now, I would be quite interested in hearing what you’d be willing to exchange for something as valuable as that…something you can think about.” Raphael turned on his heel and walked out of the Boudoir.

Your chest heaved as you gasped for air. You didn’t realize how much space Raphael squeezed out of the room with his presence now, how much pressure he could create in the atmosphere. You were also completely overwhelmed by the news of your friends, the deal you just made, the weight of your ever-present guilt, Astarion…

You pressed your hands against your temples, massaging, trying to find some relief. You were reminded of Haarlep as they slipped their hands on your shoulders, thumbs pressing circles into muscles bound tight by tension.

They lean in to purr in your ear. “You know, Raphael did so enjoy using your body earlier today. You could think about that as inspiration for your future agreement with him. Or, of course, you could make an agreement with me instead.” They spun you around and kissed you, giving you no time to think or to push them away. They open their mouth to devour you in a deep, hungry kiss.

You can read the next chapter here.

[roguelemon]

Crying on the floor as I add post-game cured Astarion ideas to my Web of lore. My poor immortal Tav is in mourning already. (I haven't even gotten to moonrise yet)

Anyway I'm off to listen to Nobody loves you by reuben, and sob. (I should be doing poisson distribution)

[spacebarbarianweird]

This is adorable!

Magistrate: Magistrate Ancunin? What about him?

Lower magistrate: well it’s just- he arrives before dawn and only leaves after sundown, and he’s never seen in the city during daylight, but he’s been seen at night plenty of times with his spouse-

Magistrate: and? He’s a busy man.

Lower magistrate: b-but don’t you think it’s strange? I heard talk around the court that he could be a- a vampire-

Magistrate: How dare you make such an accusation! Thanks to his efforts the corruption and crime allowed to run rampant by Gortash has almost been completely snuffed out. As high magister he arrives before us all to prepare for the day and he works himself late into the Eve, so what if he wishes to spend a few hours of his evening on a stroll with his beloved. Whom, I remind you, also saved baldurs gate and the sword coast at his side! You’d be wise to devote yourself to your work as hard as he has! Rather than lowering yourself to such shameful gossip and accusations.

Lower magistrate: I-I, y-yes sir, forgive me.

*meanwhile*

Astarion: *wipes his face clean as he steps from an alleyway after draining a known child abuser dry*

Tav: *walks over and fixes his robe* still hungry?

Astarion: yes dear, I’ve another rapist on my watchlist the jury declared ‘not guilty’ because they thought he was ‘charming’. Ugh, I want to rip his throat out for the pain in that poor girls eyes.

Tav: I’ll keep watch as usual~

[skyberia]

workarounds to having a vampire as your partner in crime

[agoldengalaxy]

baldurs gate 3 companion headcanons:

- gale talks in his sleep

- astarion once made karlach laugh so hard that she sprayed fire out of her nose

- shadowheart can and will hurt anyone on purpose, but if she accidentally hits someone/steps on their foot she secretly feels REALLY bad about it

- when karlach told gale she hadn’t read a book since primary school he nearly passed out

- wyll is an emotional drunk. he has cried about the stars being beautiful and about how proud he is of his companions

- lae’zel learned her favorite trick from some of the tiefling children: sticking her tongue out at people she hates

- when she thinks everyone is asleep, jaheira sings old lullabies. minsc and wyll are the only ones who have heard, but they don’t say anything because they don’t want her to stop

- the children love to put flowers in halsin’s hair. he loves it too, and will return the favor if they ask. he once did it to an unenthusiastic astarion, who ended up secretly liking it

- minsc takes the BEST care of his nails. boo’s too, obviously. he has let yenna paint them once or twice

- everyone has a lowkey crush on wyll

- when no one is looking, astarion likes to feed and pet scratch and the owlbear, making comments about how they’re the cutest ones there (besides him) and no one gets him like they do

- karlach asked wyll for dance lessons. she never quite gets the hang of it, but she has fun, and wyll is proud of her

- astarion and shadowheart pretend to hate each other, but gossip about everyone else when they’re not looking

- everyone actually really enjoys gale’s cooking but they’d rather die than admit that

- girls night: shadowheart and lae’zel are at each other’s throats with daggers. karlach is passed out on the floor. jaheira is drinking all the ale she can find. everything’s on fire. the next day they look back on this fondly

- boys night: halsin and gale are laying on the ground to look at the stars, stoned out of their minds. wyll and astarion are pouring their hearts out to each other. minsc and boo are making dirt castles. the next day they pretend none of it happened

[zfedraws]

Oh Tara, we’re really in it now….

[cheekylittlepupp]

a little death ~

[silverlunarella]

I always bring Halsin with me so I can get forehead kisses before and after spilling the blood of our enemies. uwu

[spacebarbarianweird]

Dhampirs of Faerun

We had a discussion about dhampirs with @marcynomercy on Discord recently.

Dhampirs are known to be secretive. They know how to blend with mortals and not to attract the attention of either regular people or vampires. But if you release spawns into the Underdark, dhampirs will be much more common in the decades to come. Much more common than they have ever been.

Now imagine this paranormal comedy fuel.

Masterlist

Headcanons

A group of adventurers gathers in a tavern, tasked with killing a shady villain.

They've never met before, each harboring secrets they don't want to share.

Seven members compose the team.

Berserk - Human

Tiefling Bard who fucks everything that moves and if it doesn't move he moves it and fucks.

A Dwarf Paladin.

A silver-curled Elven maiden skilled with daggers.

A Half-Orc ranger who looks at the sun with awe of someone who has never seen the light.

A Half-Elf Rogue.

And an autistic wizard kid they've picked up for fun.

They carefully plan their tactics and embark on the adventure.

For a month, they travel through the wilderness, bonding and befriending each other.

They learn to trust each other and share some secrets.

There's even a love couple whose relationship will probably last longer than this adventure.

They fight the villain, restrain him, and drag him to their camp.

At night, the villain tries to talk to the wizard kid.

"Kiddo, listen, we have much more in common than you think. Have you ever felt the bloodlust? Have you heard the night singing for you?"

The wizard kid feels uneasy; no one must know his secret.

In the meantime, the Rogue decides to look around the camp for potential threats. The Berserk follows him, looking drunk.

"FUCK!"

A loud yell from the woods awakens everyone in the camp.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" the Rogue tries to stop blood leaking from his arm. "Are you a fucking Dhampir?!"

"And what the fuck is wrong with your blood?!" bellows the Berserk. "Wait... you too?!"

The group of seven young adventurers steps around the restrained villain, looking at each other with shock and surprise.

"So," the Bard finally composes himself. "We are all Dhampirs, aren't we?"

The whole group stays silent, realizing they've been succeeding in Stealth checks for the entire month but failing the Perception one.

"Wait, I don't understand," says the Paladin. "The Ranger and the Rogue are dating, and I can't sleep the entire night because, please, learn the Silence spell! The Bard has fucked at least three of us! How come no one noticed anything?!"

"Well, I was busy looking at other things," the Bard shrugs.

"Oh, I knew something was off with all of you. I just wanted to see how long you can pretend!" says the Elven maiden, playing with her dagger.

Astarion's daughter is blatantly lying. She is just embarrassed with the fact she has traveled with a group of her own kind and never guessed that.

"Soo," the Berserk says. "What are we going to do with our prisoner?"

"I am one of you! Let me go! There must be some dhampir solidarity among us!"

"No," the Ranger snaps back. "There is a rule in the Underdark. If a vampire kills a sentient being, they are executed because murders attract monster hunters. If we let this asshole go, he will keep ruining Dhampir reputation, and we will suffer, too!"

"Wait, you grew up in this Vampire Spawn City dad told me about?" asks the Elf.

"Yeah, I did."

"My sincere condolences."

The next night is spent in conversations and discussions.

In the morning, they all return to the city to get their reward for catching the bad guy.

They gather in the tavern once again, discussing what to do next when the Elf girl suddenly sticks a dagger into the table with a piece of paper on it.

"There is a vampire lord on the loose, kidnapping and torturing people. Let's kill him for profit!"

--

Tag List

@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria @wintersire @marcynomercy @tugoslovenka

[leftoverdinosaurbones]

Chapter 2: An Inconvenient Interruption

F!Reader (Dark Urge), Spawn Astarion, Haarlep - NSFW (minors DNI)

[Major Spoilers - Set post BG3]

***

Yay finally I've finished chapter 2 of the fanfic I've been working on (you can read chapter 1 here on Ao3 or here on tumblr). Shout-out to my fellow Haarlep fans <3

Content Warning: Dubious consent, light exhibitionism, smut (let me know if I missed anything to include here, please!!)

Summary: You are interrupted by some old...(friends? acquaintances? enemies?) at a truly terrible time. And they have an urgent message for you.

Chapter 2: An Inconvenient Interruption

Slowly, you open your eyes in response to the beams of sunlight rising across your room. Artificial sunlight, of course, very helpful in keeping your regular circadian rhythm in the sewers. The contraption was an incredibly kind gift from Gale. The memory rushed into your mind.

Rolan placed the apparatus into your hands, then moved his fingers to smooth out his already neatly pressed coat and fiddle with his cufflinks.

“Yes well. Gale wanted me to make sure you knew that this is something he made for Astarion, specifically.”

Rolan rolled his eyes. “The role of a messenger boy is hardly one for a man of my station. I told Gale this will be the last time I do something like this for him.” A tenderness filled his eyes as he met yours.

You roll over to pull your mind out of the bittersweet memory. Out of instinct, you reach over to the other side of the bed, fingers tracing the recent indentations left on the blanket and pillow by Astarion’s body. With the rising pressures and demands from the thousands of spawn, Astarion has spent less and less time lounging in bed.

But this time, your fingers brush across a note. While reading the note he left for you, you pull his pillow into your chest and breathe in the comforting smell, a gentle mix bergamot, rosemary, and aged brandy.

My love,

Let’s take an evening for ourselves. Get away from all of this, and have some privacy. I know somewhere quiet. Somewhere intimate. Somewhere we can…indulge in each other.

I’ll see you this evening, my sweet treat.

-A

***

Thoughts of tonight fill your head to the brim. Floating with nerves and eager anticipation for the evening, you find yourself getting distracted - exceedingly and embarrassingly so. Your various errands to help with rebuilding the city are interrupted by your daydreams, which cause you to wander off course, or even worse, force you into having to take a break in a private space to work through some of your more vivid imaginations. Fortunately, your day above ground is light.

Released from your city duties, you walk the familiar stone path to your home above ground. The faint smells and sounds of the old Baldur’s Gate are beginning to emerge, each day stronger than the last. Sounds of people greeting each other - laughing, even. Vendors hawking at their stands and now starting to bring in customers. Bakeries emitting wafts of pleasant aromas when their doors are opened. Even the unpleasant smells of living in the city - hints of animal waste and spoiled food - aren’t wholly unwelcome in your nostrils.

You stop just shy of your home to check your mailbox. Pulling out a wad of letters, you flip quickly through each one, until you spot one penned in familiar handwriting. Your heart skips a beat, tossing away the trash and tucking the remaining letters under your arm. You rip open the envelope right away, and confirm that the letter is indeed from Lae’zel. A smile spreads across your face as you clutch the letter to your heart. Your eyes greedily start to soak up the words your friend wrote. Ever focused on her goals, she describes some of the recent victories (though nothing too important, in case this letter gets into the wrong hands).

As you read Lae’zel’s description of what it’s like to fulfill her dream of riding atop a beautiful, powerful dragon, your body freezes, feeling a shiver run up from the base of your spine to your neck. The same eerie shiver from the previous night. You glance over your shoulder, confirming that no one is directly behind you, though the street hums with light afternoon foot traffic.

A pit grows heavy in your stomach as your mind races to place this feeling. It almost felt like…

You shake your head adamantly. It’s been almost a year since you last felt those phantom fingers dance across your skin. Six months since you defeated the Netherbrain. There’s no way-

Your stomach lurched as five warm, long fingers wrapped around the back of your neck, grip strong even from worlds away. Your knees, shins, forearms felt the soft caress of silken sheets.

“Shit” you whispered. “Shit”. The firm grip on the back of your neck pressed down, pushing your face into the soft sheets. You needed to do something, to move, to get out of the street. You only have a matter of moments before -

You feel two knees, two strong thighs push between your own legs, spreading them further apart to make room for this person’s body. Their hips pressed firmly against your ass, holding you in place. You feel their free hand trace lazily up your thigh, to your hip, then around to your stomach and slowly climbing up to settle on one of your breasts. The hand massages you tenderly, and for a moment you close your eyes and lose yourself in bliss - until two fingers latch onto your nipple and pull - hard.

The mail spills out from under your arm as you reach out to brace yourself against a nearby wall, stifling the sounds threatening to fall out of your mouth. Your eyes fly open to witness a few onlookers begin to make their way towards you to help pick up your mail.

Shit, you think to yourself. Truly, this couldn’t get worse.

You try to wave off your neighbors in the most urgent yet kind way possible. You feel the hand release your neck just to snap a firm grip onto your hips, nails biting into your skin. The other hand traces down from your breast, traveling lower…and you know you only have mere seconds before you need to get away, lest you need to find another neighborhood to live in.

The hand continues its journey down to dip into your folds, to deftly spread your labia wide apart, exposing yourself to whoever this person is. Your face begins to burn bright with embarrassment as you press your own thighs together - a vain attempt at concealing yourself. A finger dips between to swipe at your clit, slipping around it easily with how incredibly wet you are.

A moan breathes out your lips as the infernal fingers caress your clit. Wide-eyed, you snap your hand against your mouth to stifle the sounds but it’s too late. Some of the people gathered around you begin to take a step back in confusion, hands raised. Some of the women raise their brows and give you knowing, stern frowns but you barely have time to register their judgment before you start to feel the fingers start to circle your clit with more intensity. You quickly scoop up the scattered letters and run to your front door.

Frantic and frazzled, you finger through your keys, leaning your body up against the door to help brace yourself through the thrums of pleasure wracking up through your core. The key ring slips from your grip and clatters to the ground, and you let out a mix of a groan and a sigh, your body confused by its physical pleasure and mental frustration.

Finally, you unlock the door and throw yourself inside, quickly fixing the latch. Once safe, you rested yourself against the door, chest heaving, in the safety of your home. Sliding to the floor, you rest on your knees and elbows, matching the stance of your body double. You slip one of your hands beneath your body to join the infernal fingers between your folds, rubbing your clit with renewed fervor. Your body begins to shine with lightly glistening sweat, gathering on the small of your back and highlighting the back of your neck. You press your face against the cold wood of the floor for a reprieve against the building heat in your body.

Your body double - Haarlep - notices that you’ve joined in and begins to writhe with pleasure from the multiple sensations. The phantom fingers stop immediately, halting your own self-pleasure in anticipation. The hand tangles itself into your hair and yanks, hard, arching your head back and bending your spine, forcing you to use both your arms to hold yourself up.

Bastard.

The other hand leaves your hip for a moment to introduce a new sensation. The thick head of a cock swiping up through your folds, rubbing against your clit, before finally resting at your entrance, teasing you. Even just the tip of him felt impossibly large, too thick for you to handle - but still you ground your hips against the invisible touch. As he began to press inside, his hand snapped back to your hip. With a sudden thrust, he slammed himself inside you, splitting you open. Your body strained to accommodate his girth, the pain taking your breath away. Tears sprung to your eyes as you cried out from the sudden intrusion, the forceful claiming of your - no, Haarlep’s - body.

But you love the pain, relishing and revealing in it. Your cunt pulsed, dripping wet from the sensation. Panting with each thrust, you dig your fingernails into the floor, clawing for purchase. Pounding faster, harder, deeper into you, a desperate cry escapes from your throat as pleasure wracks your body. Your core clenches tightly like a spring, so close to release…

The hand that was wound in your hair frees you to clutch your hips to pin you in place as he thrusts deep one last time, releasing himself inside you - inside Haarlep. You can feel the heat of his cum filling you, the excess dripping down your thigh. It feels so vivid that you are surprised to find only your own slick on your fingertips when you reach between your thighs to check.

And whoever it was, the bastard made sure to finish before you. You rolled your eyes as you got on the bed to take care of your own needs. Reveling in the aftermath of your pleasure, you find a faint sense of guilt creeping up at the edges of your mind. Of course you didn’t actually have sex with anyone, nor was it really your choice, and Astarion is nothing but understanding of the situation… still you can’t help but feel a sense of remorse.

***

Coming back to your senses, you pick yourself off the bed and begin to straighten up the house. A strange, small package on your bedside table catches your eye. You pick up the note, quickly scanning the letter to see that it is from Korilla. Panic rises in your throat - you know she can travel anywhere, but realizing how easily she can get into your home only adds to the violation you just experienced.

You’re a tough person to get on your own. But it seems like this did the trick. Please come to the House of Hope as soon as possible. In the package, you’ll find what you need. I’m confident you’ll remember how to use these items.

-Korilla

You place the letter down with shaky hands. Back to the House of Hope? Your last trip there was…less than ideal. Why would you need to return? You press your hand to your now sweaty, matted hair and decide to take a shower before setting off.

Read the next chapter here

[pocket-dragon]

shhhhhh, they're having a long rest

[tcustodisart]

Wolfmom's daughter has been taken by Sharrans.