#BEHOLD! THE BIGGEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN!

[rainbwspctrm]

{Rough Patch}

{Characters -> Chromius, Hueston (Sweet Cap’n Cakes || Writers’ OCs)}

{Chromius recalls and recounts a tale from a very troublesome point of their life.}

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“Well, I suppose after two years of walking the Cyber World, I suppose I better get this off my chest. This journal will be a reminder of what I once had to overcome. A memento of where I would vow not to falter again. A tale of a man who was a bit less than savory… and how I had let loose the worst of my outbursts. In reality, I was never quite as black and white as I seem.

Now then, why don’t I start this from the beginning? It started a few days after I settled home… As fate would have it, the first thing I saw upon stepping out that front door…”

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“...Mister, who exactly are you and how long have you been ringin’ the bell? Rest assured, it’s getting very troublesome right about now.” Chromius speaks, nary giving more than a peek out of the slightly-cracked front door. This individual was rather tall to say the least. A fairly bulky frame to suit as well, and a nice leather jacket. Most notably though, a head built using a monitor, displaying facials for ‘em.

“Whoa, I am so super sorry little dude! Came rollin’ in to check now that you’re all settled in! I’m an old time friend of your parents, put ‘em there! Name’s Hueston!” The computiran held out a hand all the way, practically poking into the musical bot’s home, prompting the latter to slide back a bit. Okay, well, maybe this wasn’t so terrible, but- this guy’s rather ecstatic to see them.

“...Yeah, name’s Chromius. Umm… well… yeah, put it there. I guess.” Chromius hesitantly took Hueston’s hand, soonafter finding themself on the receiving end of a rather hearty handshake. It’s almost worrisome how strong this guy is, but that just has to mean he’s very much a high-performance bot, sharing similar heightened traits as Chromius.

“My pleasure! Hey, Chromius, how’s life been so far? Heard the news that your parents kinda aren’t around these days from some other buds, so I wanted to ask…”

Before Hueston could finish, Chromius interjects.

“...Bud, I… oh boy… look. I appreciate your concern, but that’s really the last thing you should ask me right now, I’m still fresh off the assembly desk, whether you mean well or not.”

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“I had something of a scant feeling right there, things were probably going to get bumpy. I supposed ultimately, a friend of my parents would be a friend of mine as well, so I let the passage of time sail from there. For a bit, things seemed to get better, but alas…

A few days passed, and for a little while, Hueston seemed okay for a shot at a first friend. 

Maybe that first encounter was misunderstood, I thought. Eventually however, for the first time, I would go on a shopping session in a music shop to check out some artists, but as fate had it…”

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“...Synth 2240, Titanium Maiden, CPU of a Down, The Violas, Sweet… ACK–”

Just before Chromius could get a bearing on the last artist that was just about to come out of their voice synthesizer, it was the big lad once more. By chance, pretty tight chance no less, it was Hueston once more. They had just met earlier today too under the guise of visiting for breakfast. This must’ve been the third chance encounter with the guy so far, and probably the most unpleasant yet, as the big guy had nearly startled Chromius into crashing right into the stand housing all these albums to begin with!.

“Can you NOT-!... Shoot- Hueston? You again?... Oh um… righty…o.” Chromius synthesizes a sigh. Well sure, it seems he wants to hang out once more, but how’d the guy even know they’d be here in this exact shop? Perhaps Chromius just left their phone’s GPS on.

“Who else did you think it’d be, Huey? Thought you’d recognize the ol’ surprise shoulder grab! It is only your third time by now!” Hueston gives a small chuckle, as if this was an okay idea to him, at least to some degree.

“Alright, alright, I apologize, I’ll stop now. Thought perhaps I’d get you to warm up to the thrills of life! So many experiences that can come, you know? I enjoy the thrill of it, the thrill of just WHAT could happen next, the feeling that something amazing is right around the…!”

Okay, this was getting to be a bit much. The way Chromius perceived it, this guy was undoubtedly in hyperdrive mode, and they really needed him to stop.

“Whoa whoa whoa- yeaaaah, okay! Sure! It’s ALL cool, yeah? Totally… totally radical. Just sooo tubular. Don’t you think perhaaaaps though… we ALL need a breather at least on some days? If it means you’ll understand what I mean, let’s just like… I don’t know, go to a library, or a cafe, or just like… you know. Somewhere where we can take it easy?”

Hopefully, that would get their computiran accomplice to understand, and perhaps take a cue. The response Chromius would get though, seems to suggest that what’s happening is otherwise, much to the musical bot’s dismay.

“OH! YEAH! Lotta cool stuff to read and glance at the library! Action, mystery, romance, drama! And the cafe! Me and your parents would… Well, we used to go there to have our little talks all the time! However those would go. Sometimes there were some ups, sometimes there were some downs, you know what I mean? We can’t all be…”

Then, Hueston realizes something in the middle of his gushing. Chromius had actually started to make their move to the exit. Well, no sense in fighting it, maybe this would be a chance to demonstrate what they had meant. He still seems good-spirited, nothing wrong with that, right?

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“For a while then, it seemed I couldn’t shake Hueston off. What I did from there, well it probably wasn’t the best for my sake. Within that same timespan though, well he seemed to mean well, for a time anyway. After so long however, no doubt even some hardier individuals out there would eventually need a break. Some time to slow down, take it easy, perhaps call off the heavier stuff for a day or two. Hueston though… Well, he was different. For young ol’ me, it was starting to get pretty crazy.

Let’s just say, I started to feel some emotions I hadn’t before. Not quite drowsiness, not quite a lack of charge, not quite an aura of fear. Rather, a burning heart and mind. Something that no doubt is something that could tip over in a catastrophic manner. I suppose this is when the telling gets rough on my mind. Tee minus twenty-four hours, or so I remember…

I was at the Smooth Tunes Cafe in my local town, when on cue, we did our dance again…”

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“...Alright, so I suppose I’ll get… well… oh boy, um… shoot, how much can I spend…?”

Scanning their bank card, quite literally, as their camera eye allows Chromius an augmented-reality peer into their account details, visible only to them…

“...Ahh. Um… yeah I’ll take the Morning Album Sandwich, and um… water. Cold as you can allow, if you uh… well, like… allow it to be… well, colder?”

Seems Chromius hasn’t really adjusted to being so out there in the open, socialization and independence still proving to be a bit hard. Regardless, the waitress- a musical bot themed after a mid-range computer speaker- reassures Chromius that the water being served is very much as cold as it can go without freezing.

That answers that. Chromius gives a silent thumbs up, and the waitress is on her way! Within a moment’s notice however, a doorbell rings at the cafe’s entrance, despite the early time in the morning, and…

“...Urgh…” Chromius lightly groans at the sight of… him. The big guy. Hueston. He’s been getting more difficult the past few days. Something about this guy, it was starting to seem rather assertive, like they didn’t just need to be there now and then, no. It was more a sunrise until sundown type of deal. The traits that rubbed the musical bot too- they could only feel that whatever negative traits the computiran had, were only getting worse, yesterday being a particular outlier. No worries, once breakfast was served, they could just be out of here and…

“Had a feeling you’d be here, Huey! Look, I know last night was a bit tense, I got a bit competitive there, ruined the atmosphere, kinda squandered your feelings on video games…”

Oh dear. Hueston hasn’t forgotten about last night’s gaming session. Chromius sighs deeply. Would’ve been nice to have forgotten THAT particular night.

“Okay. Hueston. Look, I forgive you, and honestly… look, I was probably going to forget. Until you brought it up. Just please… leave it in the past. I got mad. I was petty. I know, Hueston.”

Chromius pleads to Hueston, resting their hexagonal head on their left hand, shoulder placed on the table, their lights switching to an orange color. The color of tension for the musical bot.

“Yeah, you got a fair bit out there, bud. Real rough stuff. Really left me for a scare when you up and chucked that controller almost right through a wall, yep- left that sucker with irrepairable joysticks, partially cracked shell… somewhat of a hole in my wall-"

And Hueston seemed to just keep going, and where he was going, it was somewhere Chromius was getting increasingly irritable internally. This had to stop, and the musical bot was going to make it stop.

"Okaaaaay, Hueston! Yeah! I get it! I two-hundred percent get it with how deep you've just got to rub it in! I know!"

Inopportune timing, uh oh. The waitress had shown up on cue, meal in hand, and with a mild look of suspicion strewn across her face, aimed right at Chromius. Sitting the plate down, she backs away with nary a word, only a mildly hard look. Great, just absolutely fantastic, it would no doubt seem Chromius, in their little outburst, had framed themself in a bad light, zero context able to be delivered…

And Hueston had gotten off scoff free despite being the one to provoke. Chromius' morning had been ruined in a single moment's notice. They would rather their meal just be a take-out order, so they prepare to disembark. Just then, however-

"Aa- Where are you going? Just cause I was talking about the other night? I wasn't even rubbing it in, friend, noooo- not that I'm aware of, and if I was- then sure, fine, I'm wrong and you're right. I'll take the blame, and I'll make it up to you. What can I…"

Then, promptly being stopped by yours truly-

"Look. It's nice and all you want to make it up to me, but PLEASE, Hueston… The best you can probably do is get out of my circuitry, just for a few minutes. I'll get over it eventually, this whole mess, just…" And then, Hueston sighs abruptly, arms drooping down, head lowered.

"Alright. I admit it. I've not been the greatest recently. Maybe I have had a few rough patches here and there, maybe I am getting far out there. The things I've been saying, my more compulsive acts, some of my hasty mannerisms. I've just been delving deeper into the midst of it all whenever you weren't around. Whenever no one at all is around. I've just been having mounting pressure, trying to please so many at once with my small-time interwebs skits, and…"

Oh, it seemed as if Hueston just kept going and going. An unending spiral of what felt like Hueston's massive self-loredump. Chromius felt compelled to feel just a bit guilty now, perhaps they were in the wrong after all. Surely that had to be it, no? That's gotta be what the computiran was trying to get them to see behind the veil, right?... right?

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"And well, Hueston kept going in regards to his plight. There I was, suddenly having his entire recent life laid out in front of me, all the blues included. However much merit it may have had, and regardless if it was true as daylight or as veiling as the darkest nights, I found myself in a moral corner, it was almost as if I had an inclination to apologize, to forgive, and while it might be good practice to be forgiving… It's not quite as black and white as that. Sometimes you're on the receiving end, sometimes you're the sender, but what do you do when the delivered mail is an invitation to disaster more than a letter orchestrated from the heart and soul?

Well, I tore the envelope open, followed the directions so to speak, and soon enough, I was on my way to a pitfall of certain destruction, morally… And almost physically. The day before might've been a bit awkward, a bit tight, the two of us starting to feel the heat of trying to maintain a friendship that was getting stretched thin… but it didn't compare much at all to the day after. The day me, and Hueston more likely than not, were changed forever.

Well, I suppose I better get this off my CPU. This might have been a day where I had drawn out the worst of myself, but I suppose we all have our deep chasms, that one undeniable flaw… so, I guess I ought to reveal my own, however much I might have grown since then."

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Just another morning. Or, that would be the case, but today seemed as if things were going to be different. For once and for a nice change of pace, Chromius had been made aware ahead of time that Hueston would show up just outside their abode. Yesterday might've been a low point, but he's been a bit more bearable at least. Maybe that apology was sincere after all, that the worst had come to pass.

…Though, a few moments pass, it's past eight in the morning, by ten minutes as well. Hueston's starting to run late in regards to picking up Chromius for that city tour. Worse comes to worst, he might've forgotten entirely, perhaps this would be a day without Hueston, and the first in a little while. A return to relative normalcy, before he had paid that first visit, before he occupied essentially every passing moment. However, perhaps Chromius was thinking too soon, as suddenly and without so much as a warning-

A loud, erupt honking dead-smack in the road, as close to the musical bot's home as could be! Chromius leaps right off the ground, quite high at that, and poor them- they had tossed a glass of water they had right down in the process, shattering it and spilling every last droplet of water into the carpet below! It isn't the most robust carpet, but given who the previous homeowners were… Chromius slams down a fist, before getting up, fairly pouty as they open the door, a bit rash at that, swinging it back fairly harshly as they step out, an audible slam booming out from behind the musical bot.

"Oh come on Chromius, don't be comin' out here looking so red, I'm out here with my dad's motorbike giving you a great first impression of the city in the…"

Before Hueston could finish, however-

"Oh! Come on Hueston! Don't be honking that flippin' horn while making me ruin my parents' carpet with broken glass and water, my front door is a few meters away!" Chromius downtalks Hueston, almost mocking the computiran. As is fairly expected, despite yesterday's little speech, Hueston gives Chromius a stern, hard look- as if he had been violated, as if he was the one that was wronged, despite his rash shortcut to acquiring the musical bot's attention.

"...Just get on the bike already, Chromius "

And despite the demanding order, Chromius begrudgingly obliges, mounting the bike, which mind you, is a one seater, no matter how long that one seat may be. What manufacturer even makes a bike with such an inconveniently long seat?! Just give it two normal seats at this point! Much as Chromius wants to make a snide remark about the bike's unnecessary design choice, they find it better to simply not talk at all. Not especially with their internal hardware starting to run faster than usual, hotter than usual. They've got to cool off. Hueston will allow for that… right?... A feeling processes through Chromius that they might not be able to.

Either way, Hueston's taking it away from here, taking off, with Chromius as his passenger for the ride. The two could only hope for smooth sailing…

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“Despite our little dispute, we were off. In hindsight, it wasn’t the worst bike in the Cyber World. It worked, it seemed to be maintained fairly well, and it was serviceable enough cruising around the various town blocks we had navigated for a bit. Though, I was silent for a while, as was Hueston. Perhaps if we had at least cooled off, we’d arrive at our destination relatively fine. The only problem is, well… Hueston wasn’t the most conservative biker. After we stopped for a quick refuel at an electric charging station, we were on our way to the highways.

Let’s just say, for some, this’ll be the most thrilling part of the story. For me however, well…”

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After a short recharge of Hueston’s bike, which was evidently electrical, he and Chromius were once more on the road. Before long, the presence of buildings on the sides of the road ceased, and the two were coming up to a highway. In the distance… Gigabit City. It might not be the record biggest city in the Cyber World, but its towering skyscrapers of unique shapes and proportions and lit-up solar power-producing roads made for a dazzling sight. However, as secure as the highway might be, with its force field railings on the edges… 

However, Hueston… he was doing his own thing. He was speeding up, and past the speed limit.

“...Eighty… Eighty-five… Ninety… Alright Huey, better be hangin’ on tight ‘cause we’re taking the fast way through.”

Hueston kept revving up the bike, further and further. Ninety-five, one-hundred, hundred five… Eventually, out of the flame pipes of the bike, blue flames. Chromius IS indeed holding on, but-

“What are you, CRAZY?! Slow it down- do you not see the vehicles blasting right past us?! Look at you man, weaving past automobiles and trucks like this is a competitive race!”

Chromius exclaims in panic, and yet in his very much unwise wisdom, Hueston looks back, biting back in some verbal sense.

“Pipe it down, colors-and-rainbows! Do you want the breakfast of your life or not?! You wanna be first in line for all the good, we do things my way, got it?! Now let me…!!”

Then, a very close call with a truck driving the opposite direction, tightly grazing the bike and loosening Hueston’s balance of the vehicle.

“Gaaaaah–!! See what happens?! Turn that speaker of yours down to zero before we get in a real bad accident! Look! Traffic’s gettin’ real tight ahead, and I’m NOT stopping in a jam like that, so just hang on tight and don’t talk, I’m dead serious, Chromius!”

Hueston’s trying to put his focus back onto the road… and it’s getting worse. He continues to speed up, blazing past ever-so tightening collections of cars, delivery trucks, other bikers… It’s sufficient to say the computiran is cutting it quite close with some passerbys, and as fate would have it: One seems to be on a collision course, with almost no time to avoid! This is going to need pinpoint precision, with there just being enough time to cross into the lane to his right.

However… the approaching car driver, they’re far from that mindset. It veers left and right, going into a complete panic, leaving Hueston in a pretty dangerous situation. If he does it just right…

“H… Hueston!! Right- right- RIGHT-!!” Chromius speaks aloud, moreso than last time-

“Now what the heck do you think I’m doing?! Can’t you just-?!”

And then… the sound of Hueston’s bike slamming against the side of the approaching car, sending its driver spinning out entirely, and Hueston’s own bike into a violent spinout.

“I can’t control it-!! Shoot shoot shoot-!!!”

And then… another bike driver, unexpectedly slamming into Hueston’s own, undoing the spin…

And sending the bike full speed right off the edge of the road, the vehicle crashing right through and shattering the road’s force field, the bike being tossed down into the river below… and, to an even more extreme extent, Chromius and Hueston are sent flying way off into the distance…

Eventually, despite their velocity, they both evetually crash into the flowing river, being knocked into sleep mode… and being carried into a forested area.

There was a very real possibility of the two being proclaimed destroyed then and there. 

This would no doubt make headlines, and ensue into a search for the two missing individuals.

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“I suppose I got off lucky there. The last thing I saw before that crash, a fairly narrow river below me, its teeming waters drawing closer to my vision. The collision knocked me and Hueston out, we had both gone into sleep mode to prevent any additional damage, whether software or hardware. Either way, whatever had happened during our little voyage down the river, at that moment, there was little telling exactly where we would end up. Above all else, the one thing that mattered to me then and there, I knew I still had hardware diagnostics running. I had luckily survived not only the bike crash accident, but slamming smack dab into the flowing river.

At that velocity, there was a very real chance we could’ve slammed right into solid ground, and our stories abruptly cut short. Though, when the two of us came to, it was anything but a blessing. Our little dispute would ultimately cause us to awaken deep in a forest, cut off from any reliable GPS and radar system. Just like that, we were off the map in every sense of the word. What followed next, well… this is the roughest part, so here goes nothing…”

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An hour or two passes from the initial accident. Whatever reports are being tossed around, all of them are drawing towards the same answer. The two are missing, with no traces, and are due to be presumed completely dismantled after the accident with zero shot at repairs. The only ones who would know where they’re at… are the two robots themselves.

Out in the middle of a forested area, near the end of the river… a computiran slowly twitches awake. Not just any computiran, but Hueston. It doesn’t take too long for him to process where he’s at, not especially with the trees and vines that almost completely filter out the sky, a scarce amount of sunlight piercing onto the ground where he stands. Just trying to glimpse at the sky, he almost forgets the fact that he isn’t the only one here. Looking off just to his side… Chromius. The one who just kept worrywarting this whole time. Though, perhaps they could be of use now.

Hueston makes an approach towards Chromius, nudging the musical bot.

“...Chromius. Chromius- get up! Come on, you still got some fight left in you. Least you can do is help a bud out in a life-threatening…” Hueston is unable to finish that sentence, as-

“Shut up… just… shut up…” Chromius’ head perks up, seeing… oh no. Ohhh no no no no NO.

There’s absolutely zero charging docks here, or civilization for that matter. It’s entirely forestation and natural habitats. The sun hardly shines here either, nor do GPS signals reach.

“No, no no no…! You can’t be serious!” Chromius hops up onto their feet, not even giving themself the time to dust off. They’re in serious trouble. If they run out of charge out here, that might be it for them. It’s life or death in this scenario, and there’s no clues to tell them where they’re even at whatsoever. Chromius starts to hyperventilate, pacing back and forth.

Hueston can only put his hands into his pockets, sighing. Alright, he supposes this was his fault.

“Okay, I admit it, as hard as it might be. Maybe I have been reckless. I tried rushing us right to Gigabit City, I may have caused a few vehicles to spin out along the way, and I know things are looking rough, and that I could have just…” Then, Hueston finds himself interrupted as Chromius stops pacing, laughing a bit to themself, and mind you- not in a very reassuring way.

“Oh, really, Huuuuueston-? You admit it? You really admit that you were reckless, crashed your dad’s bike and potentially took out other civilians, quite literally dragged us through the mud into the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, where we may potentially flat out DIE with no one to retrieve us, leaving the elements of nature to reclaim us and leave behind no trace?! Oh, tell me MORE, Hueston! Do you also admit being an absolute pain in my rear who couldn’t so much let me go through a single morning, afternoon and evening without seeing that smug little face of yours while you publically humiliate me?! Well go on, tell me Sherlock!!” Chromius exclaims, going as far as to drag Hueston by the collar of his jacket down to Chromius’ own eye level.

Hueston just proceeds to shove Chromius back, shooting a peeved look in response.

“Geez. Knew you were going to be at least a bit mad, but… The hell’s your problem?”

Indeed, as if Hueston hadn’t dropped so much on Chromius over the past two weeks.

Chromius is visibly starting to get more shaky, all of those lights of theirs shifting to red…

“My problem? MY problem?! Oh that’s rich, coming from you! You outright drove that stupid bike like a law-breaking criminal, crashed us into this forest and you think I’M the one with a problem?!” Chromius continues to speak at high volume, getting up in Hueston’s face.

“Grief! Okay, Huey! I get it! So we’re in this problem now, and it’s…”

Once again, cut off by an increasingly-tipping over Chromius, and quite posthaste too.

“NO! Just don’t even finish whatever’s coming out of that speaker of yours! I’ve about had it after you turned what was supposed to be a decent day into potentially my last day in some accursed forest! Just stop, dammit!” Chromius, leaning in once more towards Hueston, proceeds to shove the computiran away, prompting the latter to clench a fist, raising his own tone. Maybe THAT will get the musical bot to know their place.

“LOOK! If that’s what you always thought of me, then shame on me ‘cause it evidently MUST be true if I’m having it spoken to me! Okay, wisecracker! You got your little certificate of proof out! Either way, you and I both know I meant for this to maybe be a good day if I could’ve just-”

Proceeding to be cut off in record pace now by a continually-heating up Chromius-

“One good day is the LEAST of what I wanted! One day isn’t enough to make up for it!!”

Chromius bites back, their voice box starting to strain from their volume raising so high.

“Then TELL ME, dammit!! What do you want?!” 

Hueston retaliates back at Chromius, leaning in and getting in the musical bot’s face.

…And then, Chromius reaches their tipping point.

“I just want you to #$%& off already!!!”

Chromius finds themself partially blanking out, reeling back their fist and sending it right towards Hueston’s chest, the computiran acting at the last second to catch it, wincing in the process.

“No! Good! For nothing! Invasive parasite!!”

And Chromius tosses forth another reeled-back punch, Hueston catching it once more…

“Law-breaking trojan! Time-stealing ransomware! No good for nothing unwanted program!”

And the punches kept coming, each seeming to be more forceful than the last, eventually getting to the point of leaving dents in Hueston’s right hand, and him needing to stop the blows with both hands cupped together.

“And most definitely… 

MALEVOLENT PIECE OF MALWARE!!!”

Chromius exclaims at max volume, a bit of steam even being briefly seen exhausting from Chromius’ chasis, as they slide a foot back, reeling one last punch… and backing it up with both a lunge and forward slide. The impact of this punch is so significant- it instantly shatters the majority of Hueston’s right hand, chipping off pieces of the fingers of his left hand as well, leaving the computiran screaming out in immense pain.

The musical bot is hardly receptive to any of it too. They’re hardly able to record anything. The visual aspect of it, which by now is largely red-filtered, is the only thing that clearly passes through into the recording process for Chromius’ storage. Shakily, they turn their back on Hueston.

“Find your own way out! I’m going my own way even if it kills me!”

…But, however shakily it might be, Hueston tries to stand back up, slowly shifting towards Chromius as they’re walking off.

“...G…Get back here, you little…!! You wouldn’t leave me to die…!!” Hueston’s face goes red, and much as he may want to strangle the musical bot, it doesn’t matter how much remaining charge he has, or if he’s superior over Chromius in any way: He’s too injured to bounce back.

“You tried to dig both our graves. Save yourself, Hueston! You’re on your own!” 

Chromius retaliates… before they’re off, leaving Hueston to fend for himself. The computiran can only struggle to chase after the musical bot.

“You… you bastard… when I get my hands on you…”

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“...And then, that was the last I heard of Hueston, before I had fully tuned him- and my surroundings for that matter, out. Enraged beyond belief, I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him for another second. I had left Hueston for dead, blind to the idea that he might’ve actually met his end that day. Wrong as it might’ve been, that was the only thing I could think to process and actually go through with. That Hueston had potentially brought an end to our days, and that he deserved everything coming at him.

Nowadays, I don’t think I could ever live with the idea of going to such an extreme. More likely than not, had this happened closer to today… Well, odds are, I’d still be seeing Hueston coming around. Who knows, maybe he did actually save himself that day, but whatever the case: I’ve not seen Hueston at all since I left him, not a single glance. Either way, only one pressing matter went through every aspect of my being. I had to escape the forest at all costs, else death would be at the front door, ready to claim me.”

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Minutes pass, which soon build up into hours, and only about halfway through the day does Chromius finally calm down to a more functional state, able to glance at the world without a frenzified filter. By then however, afternoon has already begun, and with the current season, that only leaves Chromius with a few more hours of sunlight. Up to this point, and likely for the rest of the trip, their plan has been to trace the river back to its origin. Hopefully, that would be a clean shot to finding their way back to civilization.

Such a wide-open hope starts to seem a bit more closed off however, when Chromius starts to see just how rough the terrain is. Hardly a place to see through that isn’t vegetated, a multitude of environmental hazards, some fair amount of cliffs… but it’s their best shot. Sighing… they start to pick up the pace, however much extra drain it might put on their power supply.

Several more hours pass. The sun has largely set to the point that the forest would be entirely pitch black. Chromius at this point is peering into the darkness using night vision, but that too would draw from their power supply. At this point, it may not matter that Chromius is as blessed as they are to not have encountered any hostile woodland creatures. At best, their power supply may only last into the next morning. Regardless, they can’t give up. They can’t, and they won’t. They have a legacy to uphold, for their parents. If they die here, it’s all for naught. A waste.

A big waste of their time… And a waste of their parents’ time even moreso.

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“Things were starting to look dire. However deep I had initially fallen into that forest, and whatever progress I made towards tracing my steps back to civilization in any form. A little before midnight, it came to me that I was at half battery capacity. This was only further compounded by needing to draw out more performance, more of my featureset to get by with any sort of progress. In hindsight, things must’ve been even more dire for Hueston…

Some good few more hours passed, it must’ve been like five in the morning before, finally… a blip in my internal GPS system. Finally, some kind of reminder that I was getting closer to escaping, and perhaps saving myself. There were a few more hours of darkness left to go though, and I hadn’t quite found my way out yet. With my GPS system enabled as well, it only further strained my power supply. It was going to get close, and I was certain, if I wasn’t out within the next few hours, that was it. Game over. I’d be finished.

These were the worst hours of the journey, and my life as a whole, given they could’ve been the last where I was still on my feet and active. Eventually, however… a boon. Just as I’m within the last few percentiles of my battery life.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Sunrise at last, the clock ticking some few minutes past 7 in the morning. Sun rays started to pierce through the lessening trees and shrubbery ahead, and there was a clear path back to society. Sure enough, to Chromius’ right… the cityscapes of Gigabit City. To their left, clearer fields from which the musical could walk back home relatively safely, and even some buildings to indicate society’s presence. However, by then, Chromius engaged into low battery mode, meaning the fidelity of their camera being lowered, the dimming of their RBG lights, and their high performance mode disabled for. It was getting fairly grim. Civilization was right there, almost in reach, yet an aura of doubt washed over the musical bot, conflicting with what aura of hope still continued to burn within them.

So, Chromius started to haul it. They ran as fast as their legs would allow in the moment.

If they could just call for help, grab someone’s attention, anything… they would survive this entire ordeal, and be able to move on and forget about it.

The sun continued to rise, sparking further hope in Chromius' mind, as the buildings relatively close to home drew ever nearer. Just a bit more to go, and hopefully someone could save them. A good few more minutes of running pass by, getting closer. A few additional minutes… Continuing to get closer… Then some…

…Their battery draws near to 1%. The town is just within reach, and there are people walking along, going about their mornings. One last cry for help, then. Approaching a bit closer…

And then, a loud, emergency alarm blares from Chromius’ speaker. The alarm of a battery that has just about been fully drained. It sounds, and it sounds, until…

<><><><><><><><><><>

“...And then, I blacked out entirely. The last I saw, an auditorian rushing to my aid. A stranger, mind you, but I can’t forget their appearance. Their body resembled a keyboard. Not the computer type mind you, a mini keyboard piano, quite short with even shorter limbs. Regardless, I never saw them again. When I woke up, I was in a completely different environment. No longer just on the outskirts of a town. I was in a care center, all cleaned up and polished back to a more pristine state by a caretaker musical bot. To be exact, she resembled a blue CD player. White in base color, blue in the rims. Though I didn’t spend much time with her, I did what I could to thank her, kept her company and tried to make her day before I departed by keeping her company and speaking of my experiences.

It was the least I could do for someone who had effectively nursed me back to health. I didn’t think she’d be willing to listen as I vented out my feelings, but evidently, she’s heard of some bad tales in the past, worse than mine as a matter of fact. I’m glad she was all ears, really. Though, at some point, I had to return home, and so I did. There was one thing that stuck out to me, however. The music that had been playing to keep me comfortable. It was a nice little beat, not quite the longest song, must’ve clocked somewhere just over two minutes. The song in question? A little beat called Cyber Dance. The composer?

…A trio of three that were just debuting by then. They went by Sweet Cap’n Cakes. That song wouldn’t leave my head for the rest of the day. Corny as it might be… but after some few days, I bought their debut album. Then and there… music became my heart and soul. A little over a month into my life, going on two by then, and I could consider myself a musical bot then and there. And now here I am, auditioning for their band. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been recently.

…And to think, it could’ve all ended that one day. I kept fighting despite the odds however, and I suppose that’s how I got here, with music intertwined into my heart and soul, with a renewed sense of desire. A burning desire to do what would’ve made my parents proud, and to afford myself the happiest life I can. Though, I can’t help but wonder…

Did Hueston ever get out of that situation? Where would he even be if he got out of there? Is there any chance he may have completely forgotten about me by now? 

There’s no sense in worrying over it as if it were spilt milk… right?”

[impishtubist]

double date

Behold, the dumbest thing I have ever written. I inflicted this on a handful of Discord pals a while back, but you know what? Everyone should be made to suffer from my terrible writing 😂

-------

“Padfoot, calm down.” Remus lays a hand on Sirius’s, stopping him from further shredding his empty straw wrapper. 

“I am calm.”

“Mate, you’re literally vibrating.” James is sitting on Sirius’s other side, and he puts a hand on Sirius’s knee, stilling his bouncing leg. “It’s just Regulus.”

“Just Regulus?” Sirius hisses. “I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen, James! This isn’t just Regulus, this is huge!”

“I know,” Remus says soothingly. “But you being a nervous wreck isn’t going to make this any easier.”

Sirius sags a bit in his seat. “I want this to go well, Moony.” 

“It will. This was his idea, after all. That’s promising, isn’t it?”

“S’pose so.” Sirius straightens in his seat, brightening a little. “Think it’s a good sign that he wants to introduce me to his boyfriend, too.” 

“It was sweet of him to suggest a double date,” Remus says, casting James a significant look. James shrugs, unapologetic.

“Like I’m going to pass up a chance to see Baby Black and his boyfriend,” he says cheerfully. “What do you think? Think Reggie’s dating a Muggle?”

Sirius’s entire face lights up, and he cackles. “A Muggle! Oh, Prongs, that’d be brilliant. Might put Mother in an early grave, too.” 

The door opens then, and Regulus steps into the pub. Sirius goes completely still, eyes wide, so Remus raises a helpful hand to flag him down. Regulus catches sight of them, and hesitates for a moment before making his way over to their table. He’s followed by a tall man with long black hair and--

Snape.

It’s Snape. 

Regulus is dating Severus fucking Snape.

The waiter appears at their table at the same time Regulus and Snape do. Remus raises his hand.

“Five Firewhiskeys, please,” he says while James and Sirius openly gape at the newcomers. The waiter smiles politely.

“A round for the table, then?”

“Oh, no, those are all for me.” 

The waiter departs, and Regulus pulls out the chair across from Sirius. Snape’s eyes flick between James and Remus, and he eventually chooses the seat across from Remus. Remus gives him his biggest, most wolfish grin, and Snape quickly looks away. 

“Brother,” Regulus says. 

“Reggie,” Sirius squeaks. “What the fuck--”

Remus digs his fingers into Sirius’s thigh. “What Sirius means is, it’s great to see you.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius says, his voice only slightly strangled. “Yeah, Reggie, it’s great to see you. Thanks…thanks for suggesting this. And for bringing your, um.” 

“Fiance,” Regulus says.

“Fiance?” Sirius and James burst out, looking horrified. 

“That’s great, Regulus,” Remus says through gritted teeth, kicking Sirius under the table. “Isn’t it?”

James recovers first. “Yeah, it’s--that’s great. Love is…great.” 

Sirius draws a deep breath, visibly pulling himself together. “I’m really happy for you, Regulus. Shall we, um, decide what to order?”

The waiter returns with Remus’s Firewhiskeys, takes their food orders, and goes off again. Sirius clears his throat.

“So, um, Severus,” he says, and the name sounds like it only pains him a little to say, “what is it you do?”

“I’m the Potions Master at Hogwarts,” Snape says. Remus cringes inwardly--those poor students--and knocks back his first shot. 

“What about you, Regulus?” he asks.

“I’m--”

“Regulus doesn’t work,” Snape cut in. 

“Doesn’t work?” Sirius repeats.

“He doesn’t need to.” 

“That’s right,” Regulus says. “I’m…taking care of the household.” 

“But you wanted to be a potioneer,” James says, and he sounds pained.

Regulus stares at him. “You remember that?”

“‘Course I remember it,” James says quietly. “Thought you’d be brilliant at it. You wanted to open a shop in Diagon Alley and everything. What happened?”

“Oh, er, nothing. It’s just…not really for me.”

“That doesn’t sound like you at all.”  

The tension at the table increases tenfold. Remus takes a second shot. 

“If that makes you happy, Reggie, I support it,” Sirius says abruptly. “It…sounds great. Staying home and…looking after Severus’s…things.” 

“I’m a trophy husband, too,” Remus says with a wink. “I have no complaints.” 

Regulus gives him a tight smile. “Yes, I’m sure I’ll…get used to it.” 

“He’ll take care of the children, too,” Snape says, and Remus chokes on his third shot. 

“When the time comes,” Regulus says hastily, patting Snape’s arm. 

“I think you’ll be singing a different tune on our wedding night,” Snape purrs, and Remus grabs Sirius’s wrist before he can draw his wand. 

“Yes, when is the wedding?” he asks.

“This summer,” Snape says. “That leaves us with plenty of time to ensure that he’s with child by the time term begins.” 

“What, you’re going to knock him up and then leave him?” James asks. 

“Yes, we agreed that was best,” Regulus says.

“If it makes you happy,” Sirius says again, though this time it’s through gritted teeth.

“Indeed. There’s no need for me to be around for…the unpleasantness of pregnancy,” Snape says, waving a hand. 

“Raising children is very, um, rewarding,” Remus says quickly, while Sirius makes a noise like a wounded animal. The room’s getting a bit blurry, and he feels very light. 

“Rewarding, yeah,” Sirius says in a high-pitched voice. He clears his throat. “R-right, Jamie?”

“Yep, yeah, greatest thing I’ve ever done. I love staying home with Haz,” James says. “‘Specially now that I only have him half the time.” 

Regulus’s eyes snap to James. “You broke up with Evans?”

James blinks. “Er, yeah. Divorced about a year ago. We’ve been doing the whole co-parenting thing and it’s going really well, though.” 

Light pink dusts Regulus’s cheeks, and--oh.

Oh, that would make sense. That would make so much sense. How had he missed it?

Remus grabs his fourth shot and polishes it off. He then raises the fifth shot and says, “A toast!” 

“A toast?” Regulus, James, and Sirius echo.

“To the happy couple.” Remus pushes Sirius’s glass at him, water sloshing over the sides. “C’mon, Pads. Toast your brother and his--and his happiness.” 

Sirius lifts his glass, looking like he’s swallowed something sour. “Er--right. To Regulus and Sn-Severus. May you, um…” 

“Have a very happy life together,” James jumps in when Sirius falters. 

“Right, that. And…love one another forever?”

“And be fruitful and multiply,” Remus says cheerfully.

Now it’s Regulus’s turn to look like he’s tasted something bitter, but Snape practically leers. 

“Oh, we will,” he says, leaning in to kiss Regulus.

Bang!

Snape is thrown out of his chair and crashes into the wall behind him, cracking his head on the bricks before landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

“James!” Sirius exclaims in outrage.

“It wasn’t me!” James protests.

“It was me,” Regulus says with a sniff. “Honestly. The nerve of him. I told him I wanted to wait until the wedding night.” 

Remus hands his last Firewhiskey shot to Regulus, who downs it without blinking. 

“You’re not in love with Snape,” he says, and Regulus pulls a face.

“Of course I’m not.” 

“Then why did you tell me you were bringing your boyfriend to meet us!” Sirius demands. 

“Because it’s what people do, Sirius,” Regulus says. 

“What people?”

“People who are meeting their estranged brother and his husband for the first time in years!” Regulus sighs. “I can’t go on a double date with my brother if I don’t have a date.” 

“Wait, did you--did you pretend to date Snape and then get engaged to him just so you would have a reason to reach out to me?”

“Well, he didn’t think it was pretend.” Regulus sniffs again. “I’m very convincing, you know.” 

“You didn’t--”

Regulus’s lip curls. “Of course not. I told him I was a virgin and waiting for our wedding night. I should probably be insulted by how easily he bought that. Potter, what are you doing over there?”

James blinks at him. “What?”

“This is a double date, isn’t it?” Regulus gestures at the now-empty chair next to him. “I need a date.” 

“Oh!” James scrambles over to the other side of the table. “Right, of course. Hello.” 

“Hello.”

“You look amazing, you know.”

Regulus blushes. “Yes, you’ve been staring at me since I sat down. Awfully rude of you, with my fiance right there.”

James looks pained. “He’s not your fiance anymore, is he?”

“Merlin, no.”

“What,” Sirius whispers to Remus, “is happening right now?”

Remus pats his shoulder. “I think the wedding is still on.”

“Different groom, though, right?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.”

[mysteriesofmarcy]

Today in my GF rewatch I watched Roadside Attraction. And I thought, "Isn't it weird that I initially liked this episode and everyone else hated it? I wonder why."

So I decided to dissect that very topic.

Now, if you've been following me for a while, you might know that I'm not usually the biggest fan of the real plot heavy episodes. My favorite episodes are the ones with a good mix of plot and character development. I do typically tend to like the straight character development episodes the least, mostly because they tend to feel out of place. And the plot heavy episodes are somewhere in the middle for me.

So why, then, did I like Roadside Attraction so much? I mean, it's a straight character development (or character derailment) episode, and it's by far the most out of place episode in Gravity Falls, and maybe in TV history.

I'll admit there were parts I really didn't like. And they're the same as the parts everybody else didn't like: the cave scene with Candy, Dipper, and all the other girls showing up being at the top of that list, with the scene of Stan admitting that he knows nothing about women being close behind.

But then there were the good parts. This episode was carried by the first act. For Dipper, who is awkward around girls, just talking with a few that he meets on a road trip is a good strategy to get over a former crush. And it's not like he meant anything by it; he was just having pleasant conversations and making new friends, that's all. Nothing wrong with that. And the very end of the first act, with Candy revealing her crush on Dipper, was a great setup.

Act 2 started strong by setting up Candy wanting to sit with Dipper and him being uncomfortable about the whole thing. Now we know Gravity Falls can handle a situation like this because they did it before in The Hand That Rocks the Mabel, and differently in The Love God.

But then Stan gave some horrible advice that Dipper should just accept Candy's offer of a date just to... have a date, I guess? And then the other girls he met at the other tourist stops all showed up in one place? And then they all turned on him and assumed he was into one of them? I mean, Stan was right that Dipper should not have seen any of those girls again. At least, he should not have seen them all at once. And even if they did show up all at once, C.S. Lewis' words come to mind:

(Eros, if you didn't know, is a Latin term for the romantic type of love.)

But none of that really answers the question.

Why did I like this episode if it has such major flaws?

And the answer is two words: Happy Dipper. Happy Dipper is a rare sight to behold. Happy Dipper gives LIFE to any episode he's in. Happy Dipper takes charge of his own life and gets what he wants, not by making overcomplicated listy things or raising the dead or whatever, but by living in the moment. And as he said in the hot tub scene, he had "one of the best days ever!"

So when did Happy Dipper show his face?

In the man cave hot tub (OK, that was Destructor)

In the multibear's cave

After the party in Double Dipper (OK, this one was only written about in the journal)

Putting the bandage on Mabel's elbow on Summerween

Chatting with Wendy while leaving the pool

Having a sleepover with Mabel in their old room

Leaping into the Gideon-bot

Singing the chorus to T8king Over Midnight

Watching movies with Wendy

Encouraging Mabel on the mini golf course

Encouraging Soos in his dating life and on his birthday

The majority of Abaconings!

The Northwest Mansion after midnight

Playing with fireworks and water balloons the next morning

Playing DDAMD with Ford

At his birthday party

And of course, the hot tub at Septic Ridge

Happy Dipper is Good Dipper. That is all.

[xsweetelegantdisasterx]

With the help of @stardragongalaxy, we present to you our fanfic centered around the Amamiya Brothers. (Because they are utter Babes and deserve more recognition in the fanfic community)

❧ Summary: The Belladonna’s were always successful in keeping a low profile. They kept their numbers small, and their friendships smaller. After Kuryu discovers they have the ideal location for their casino, they start causing trouble for the group. With the help of the Amamiya Brothers, and the S.W.O.R.D district, they must overcome the biggest battle of their lives.

❧ Characters: Masaki, Hiroto, S.W.O.R.D Members, Original Characters.

❧ Pairings: Masaki/OFC, Hiroto/OFC.

❧ Genre: Angst, some fluff, there's betrayal.

❧ A/N: This is a work in progress, I have 4 chapters written, working on 5 now. Please bare with me as my job keeps me busy, but I'll push out chapters as I can. Hopefully you enjoy ♡ Also I'm super nervous on sharing this piece, so please go easy on the slaying

Belladonna. That name rolled perfectly off the tongue. It was double the points that it had a hidden meaning for her club. Taking the strip, she noticed other’s had her same idea. There had been talks of a new casino, that was going to be straight awful. This was just another tactic for the richer to get richer and the poorer to get tossed out to the side.

Chapter 1:

Reign had the house smelling like coffee. She was out of work for a few days as she wanted to scope different places. The other girls were working late, Siyeon probably playing body guard for Ivy; she was so sick of being home. She stared at the key rack on the wall as she contemplated the hardest decision ever: which bike to take. It was a calm night, with the stars shining brightly, she decided on her Harley. Reign snatched the keys, gathering up her items that she could fit in her jacket and left.

Reign was a smaller woman, but what she lacked in height, she made up for in grit. Reign was decorated in tattoos, and had her hair colored in a purple ombre. She had the privilege of owning and running her own business, so she had the ability to not conform to normal workplace practices.

The lights to the club illuminated the street. She parked a little ways ahead, keeping her motorcycle hidden. It was one of her prized possessions, she’d hate to destroy someone for looking at it wrong. Dragon scales decorated the entire body, with their symbol resting beautifully on the tank. It was truly a sight to behold. She walked into the club as she noticed everyone dancing. Reign ordered a drink at the bar as she started scanning the room, her attention focused on the group of men donning all white upstairs, looking down at the patrons.

Over the loud music, nothing could be heard. It was amazing she suddenly focused on a girl getting heckled by drunk guys. The last thing she needed was to get involved, but there was something about a damsel in distress that upset her. It had more to deal with men seeing women as inferior. That never set well with her or her friends. In fact, that was a reason they did what they did.

She politely walked over to the girl as she tried pulling her away, only to be met with resistance from the guys.

“Why don't you mind your business? If you're feeling jealous, we'll come for you next,” the guy put his hand on hers.

“You need to have respect when you’re talking to a lady. I bet your mom’s real proud of the man you turned out to be.”

Reign pried his hand off turning his wrist up causing him an immense amount of pain. When she dropped his hand, his friends tried to attack her. She grabbed a passing waitress’s tray as she broke it over his head. They were writhing in pain as Reign grabbed the girl, heading straight for the door. All she heard was yelling as the guy with the cane, upstairs, was pointing at her.

They ran out the door heading to her bike; which now had bike partners parked next to her. She grunted as there was no time to say anything for them being too close to it. One instantly was caught by her eyes, and vice versa.

“Wait you can't leave me!” the lady started yelling at Reign.

“I'm not, but if you don't stop flapping your jaws, we’re going to be in a whole ass situation.”

Just as the girl climbed on her bike, the dudes she assaulted in the club and the ones that watched caught up to her. She whispered “fuck" as she turned grabbing the helmet.

“How dare you put hands on me bitch! Do you know who I am?”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t ever cross your lips to call me that ever again. I don't care who you are,” she turned still holding the helmet.

The others just watched. Surely this lady wasn’t going to take on three guys at once. When they all charged her, her grip on the helmet tightened as she swung connecting it to the face of the one she already attacked. She was impeccable about dodging their attacks; it was mesmerizing to everyone. When Reign dodged one, another came at her with a knife. He did get a deep slash in, but due to her adrenaline, she hardly felt it.

When they tried to go after the girl she helped, she knocked their feet out from under them. Suddenly, the longer haired biker got in on the action as he just wanted to fight. They were both fighting off the punks before they scurried off.

“Thanks,” Reign put the helmet on her passenger as he just stared at her. “Can I help you?”

“That’s all I get for kicking their ass for you?” He was truly offended she didn't say anything more.

“Masaki, not every woman is going to throw themselves at you,” his friend spoke up.

“Excuse me? You hopped in at the ass end of the fight. Fend off about ten more attacking me and then maybe you can buy me a drink. I have to get her home safely,” she climbed on her bike about to start it up as she was interrupted once more.

The white outfitted guys walked over to her with a strut so huge she just raised her eyebrows.

“Miss, are you both okay? Women aren’t ever allowed to get hurt in my club.”

She looked back at the girl wondering if she was dreaming this interaction.

“Thank you Rocky, but we’re fine. She saved me,” the lady leaned into Reign.

Finally Reign started her bike as the engine purred at her. She kicked the stand back in as she crawled it to the street, just to take off. She followed the instructions on how to get the girl home, as she pulled up to her drive-way.

“Thank you, I don't have money to pay you. My name is Emiko by the way.”

“Not needed. I'm Reign, have a good night,” Reign made sure she got inside before she took off.

Reign got back to her house since it was early morning hours, just to realize they had nothing for gashes or stab wounds.

Hey sis, so some shit went down and I’m currently gashed. I’m gonna go to the store and gather up first aid things.

Kurenai: Holy shit are you okay?

Yeah, just stings a little. Bastard ruined my favorite outfit.

Kurenai: You know I’m gonna need deets when I get off right?

I'll be ready to tell. See you in a bit.

Reign hopped on her motorcycle again as she took off. She noticed a motorcycle that she felt she had seen before. Many people had motorcycles so she blew it off. When she parked, she decided the best thing to do was zip up her jacket to not alarm anyone. She grabbed gauze, antiseptic spray, tape, a suture kit, and a needle. She walked past a huge bottle of whisky as she picked that up too.

“What do you plan to do with all of that?” a familiar voice broke her concentration.

“I’m going to go play doctor.”

“Do you even know how?”

“Nope I decided I needed to pick up a new skill so why not start somewhere,” she saw chocolate as she grabbed it walking to the register.

Masaki looked down as she was bleeding, “Would you like help.”

“I got Jack here, he's gonna help all my ailments,” she smiled holding the bottle. When it lightly brushed up to her stomach, she winced a little.

Reign paid the cashier as she headed out the door, Masaki on her heels. “If you can direct me, I can try to help.”

“Listen, I am sure you’re a great guy. But I don’t know you, and I’d trust myself with a Vet before a stranger.”

“From where he stabbed you or whatever, it looks like it will be hard to do it on your own. Quit being stubborn woman.”

Reign looked directly down as he had a point, but she could use a mirror to help.

“I swear on everything, if I guide you and you leave me with messed up sutures, I will literally hunt you down and stab you where you stand,” she stood by her bike holding her items.

“Let me help. Your place or mine?”

“My roommates will be tired when they get home. The last thing they need is some weird stranger in their house while they’re winding down. Let’s go to your place, but this isn’t an invitation for you to try and be fresh,” placing the items in the saddlebags, she straddled her bike.

Masaki just smiled at her as she was giving him the indication of being a Man-eater. He lead her to his apartment, as he grabbed her items. Reign slowly climbed off the bike as she started getting dizzy. He helped her upstairs as his brother was just sitting in his chair.

“Do I need to leave?”

“No, I’m just going to help sew her up. She's hurting bad,” Masaki grabbed towels and blankets laying them out for her.

“Oh no, miss are you sure about this?” the brother was concerned for her health.

Reign sat down gently as she took off her jacket, revealing her dress she had underneath. She had definitely bled through it, as it shimmered in the light.

“I don’t mean to sound like I’m getting fresh or anything, but you need to have different clothes on to make this easier,” he left the room momentarily as he brought her a pair of his sweats and shirt.

Reign walked to the bathroom that the brother showed and changed into his clothes. He smelled really good as she pulled the shirt up to her nose. Time was ticking for her to begin losing blood more, so she left the bathroom. She sat down as she started pulling the items out of the bag, and kit. Reign threaded the needle for Masaki with ease, he was beginning to wonder if she already knew how to do it. She had everything ready for him to begin. Reign went into a whole explanation of how to do it, as she grabbed the whisky. With ease she opened the bottle taking a swig, pouring a little over her wound.

“Remember what I said, if you don’t want to see me again.”

Masaki just smiled. Reign pulled up the shirt higher just under her bra line. This obviously wasn't the first time she had been in a knife fight. He noticed she had scars everywhere. He took a deep breath as he started placing the stitches. She gripped his arm, squeezing it when it started stinging; she let go not realizing what she did at first. When she removed her hand, he placed it back on meeting her eyes.

It hurt like hell to feel them while being conscious, but she focused on something to get her mind off the increasing pain. When Masaki pulled the thread one last time, he was confused on what to do with the remaining strand.

“May I?” she grabbed the needle as she twisted the thread tying it into a knot to have him cut.

“So you are a doctor?” he sat back in the chair as he put her stuff up.

“No, I’m not.” She got up grabbing the dress to put it back on, just to be stopped by Masaki.

“I won’t mind if you borrow my clothes. You can find me and bring them back.”

She looked at him, before looking at his brother. Reign nodded as she put her boots back on. “Thanks.”

“Do you really think you should be driving?”

“I’ll be fine father. I’ve driven in worse conditions. Oh and thank you for patching me up. You listened quite well. It shouldn’t scar too bad.”

He smiled at her revealing his dimple that complimented his face. Reign had an influx of messages, letting her knew her roommates were missing her presence.

“At least let me drive you home.”

“I’m not leaving my bike, so that's out of the question.”

“You don't have to leave it, I'll catch a cab or walk home. It's better than you getting hurt or passing out while driving. No one will mess with your bike here. I'll have Hiroto watch it.”

“I’m not going to put that on him,” Reign grabbed her keys as she hobbled outside.

Masaki snatched her keys from her hand as he tossed them to Hiroto to watch over. “We can have someone come collect your bike later. You’re riding with me.”

“Why are you so damn persistent? I want my keys,” she held out her hand towards Hiroto.

“I don't agree with him half the time either, but he has a point. Let him take you home, we’ll pull your bike in so it’s safe.”

She glanced over feeling like her battle was lost, but she agreed to leave her bike. Masaki put her things on the bike as he climbed on smiling at Reign. Throwing one leg over the side, she sat behind him as she clutched her items tightly in her arms. He took off, with her feeling weird being on his bike. He followed her directions home, as Siyeon was already waiting on her.

“What the hell happened Reign?”

“She was injured in a fight,” Masaki helped her off the bike. “You know where to find me when you need to return the clothes and get your bike.”

“And you are?” Siyeon helped Reign stand.

“I’m Masaki, I helped sew her up.”

“He helped sew you up? But don’t you do that for a living?”

Reign stepped on Siyeon’s toes to shut her up instantly. She didn’t want him to know any more about her than he had to. They headed towards the door as Reign stopped, turning to him.

“Thank you Masaki.”

“No problem,” he climbed on his bike as he took off.

Kurenai pulled up as he left. She looked confused until she remembered their earlier conversation.

“He’s really handsome Rei, did you get to try him out? Seeing as you’re wearing what I suspect to be his clothes?”

“No Siyeon, nothing happened. He's not that charming.”

“Bullshit, he screams your type. Anyways, let’s get you inside. Ah Kure want to get the door?”

They helped their friend enter the house as she grunted. Reign just laid down on the couch as she noticed Ivy sleeping on the other end.

“She’s so exhausted. Why hasn’t she gotten a day off?”

“Her workers are all pricks, all because she’s dating me. Guess I have bigger balls than they do, and sense it. Are we really going to gloss over the fact that you got stabbed tonight?”

“Yeah you were supposed to give me details,” Kurenai got her a drink as she waited for Reign to explain.

“A girl named Emiko was being harassed at a club. When I jumped in to help her, I got attacked. They followed us out, which ensued an even bigger fight, leading me to get stabbed. Masaki and his brother Hiroto helped me. Masaki saw me getting medical supplies, right after I texted you, and offered to help sew me up.”

“Reign, you need to pay him back.”

“You are a perv Siyeon,” she threw a pillow at her friend as she groaned in pain.

“Tell me I’m wrong though. Besides, what his brother look like?”

“Like a normal guy Si. Black hair, and average height. Masaki is taller, and has a dimple. His eyes are a lighter brown too.”

“See, you told us more about Masaki than Hiroto, so he did catch your eye.”

“I’m going to bed since I’m being persecuted,” Reign stood up and hit Siyeon with the pillow one last time leaving her friends to laugh.

“How are we going to get Rei's bike back? Want to ride bitch?” Siyeon grabbed her jacket and keys shooting Kurenai a grin.

Kurenai grinned as she stood up, “We need to get the address from Reign. And I’ll be the one to go ask. I’m pretty sure if you tell her she needs to pay him back again you’ll die.”

“Just saying what we’re all thinking, but I’ll be downstairs.”

Kurenai knocked on Reign's door as she opened it to her reading. “Rei, where’s the location of your bike? We’re going to go get it.”

Reign reached in her pocket pulling her glasses down. Finding the address Masaki placed inside, she handed it to Kurenai. “Thanks Kure, I appreciate it.”

Kurenai met Siyeon down at the bikes. They both climbed on as Kurenai placed the address in her GPS. They arrived as they tried to see if it was out. A guy approached them as they turned.

“We’re here for the bike.”

“You don’t look like Reign, so I can’t give it to you. My apologies ladies.”

“This guy,” Siyeon bit her piercing as she was getting annoyed. “We were sent by her.”

“How do I know this?” he wasn’t budging a bit.

“Look at my bike, then look at hers. You'll notice a definite similarity,” Siyeon pointed to their crest.

“Anyone could put that on their bike. She entrusted it with us, so we’re keeping it here until she returns.”

“Fuck it.”

Kurenai thought this guy was stubborn, but appreciated that he kept her bike safe. She called Reign’s phone as she finally answered. Kurenai explained everything as she handed the phone to the keeper; him walking away momentarily. Masaki wanted to see what the hold up was on his brother's return, as he noticed Siyeon.

“What are you doing here?”

“This guy won't give us Reign’s bike back.”

Masaki grinned, once Hiroto made a promise he kept it. Hiroto joined back up as he handed Kurenai the phone and keys.

“Thanks for keeping it safe though.”

“This is Hiroto, my younger brother. Oh, how's Reign?”

“She hurts but she's fine. If you want you can pop by and check on her sometime. If she's not at home, she's at work.”

“Oh? What does she do?” he inquired about the woman that took his attention.

“She’s a veterinarian, why do you think I made my comment earlier.”

Masaki looked over at Hiroto as he smiled dropping his head. “Well we won’t keep you, drive home safe.” The two brothers waved them off as they left.

Siyeon and Kurenai arrived home as they put both bikes up in the garage. The house was quiet as both ladies were asleep. Siyeon covered Ivy up as she sat next to her. They were brought together, by Reign and Kurenai, a few years earlier.

Kurenai dispersed to her room as Hiroto stayed on her mind. The fact that he took the task seriously was amazing to her. They knew nothing about Masaki or Hiroto yet, but she could easily say she liked him already. This would have to be something that she checked into, since her curiosity was piqued.

Reign woke up as she started to hurt. The medicine she took hours before was beginning to wear off. Siyeon noticed her up as she rubbed her eyes.

“What’s wrong Rei?”

“I need medicine, but don’t get up on my accord. I’ll be fine.”

“You know I’m still going to look after you right?”

Reign swallowed pills as she shook her head. “Thanks for getting my bike back home.”

“Of course, we know how much that means to you. If only you could connect to a human like that, you’d have it made.”

Reign made a face at Siyeon. She wasn’t wrong though. Reign never opened herself to another individual; like that. Sure she had her friends and bird, but she could never find someone she connected with.

“I connect to a lot of people.”

“Sure Rei. That’s why you shoved me off on Ivy. Which I’m thankful for. Her high-maintenance ass is all I’ve ever dreamed about.”

“We were fire and ice Siyeon. Not a good combination.”

“I know, at least Kurenai noticed Ivy was a better fit. If by chance Masaki shows up in your life again,” she was interrupted by Reign.

“I’m not jumping his bones Si.”

“Deny it all you want. He's a fit for you.”

She laughed at the persistence of Siyeon. “I’m going to go back to bed.”

Reign climbed back into bed as she thought about what Siyeon said. She never really had a connection with anyone other than her friends, bird, and bikes. In her mind though, how was she supposed to connect to anyone when she wouldn’t be able to be completely truthful. What they did on the side, was not for everyone to know or understand for that matter. It was not a first date topic, and she was stressed about even bringing someone into her lifestyle. Either way, this would be a topic on her mind for another day.

When Reign woke up again, she noticed Ivy cooking breakfast. She sat down at the table as Ivy served her a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, how are you feeling? Sisi told me everything.”

“Eh, I’m alright. Are the others still sleeping?”

“Si is at work; Kurenai is in the living room. Your clinic called; they need you to stop by today. Some people stopped by that has them worried about something.”

Reign took a sip of her coffee as she pondered who could’ve paid a visit to them. She finished her plate as she got ready to go. She went to her clinic as she noticed guys in suits taking up her waiting room, and her workers on the edge. When she approached the receptionist, she noticed a bruise forming on her face, and the appearance that she had been crying. Reign turned around to the group of guys, as they looked up from the magazines they were reading. She went to the back, signaling her workers to come.

“What happened?”

“They want to talk to you.”

Reign grabbed her coat as she walked back out into the waiting room, “Can I help you gentleman?”

“We’re waiting for the gentleman that owns this place, RJ,” the man handed a business card with his name and company on it.

Her vet clinic was right in the middle of where they wanted to start building the casino. The only way they’d get this building was over her dead body. It was a great location that they needed in order to progress the plans.

She smirked, “You’re looking at him. What can I do for you, Nikaido is it?”

“You’re RJ?” He looked confused.

“RJ is a nickname. The name is Reign, now again, what can I do for you?”

“My company wants to talk about buying this dump out from under you,” he seemed insulted he was having to have this conversation with a woman.

“Not interested but thank you. You can all see yourselves out now, this meeting is over. I like my dump as you call it,” she ushered towards the door. “And don’t lay another finger on any of my employees, or I will break them.”

She could tell they weren’t going to go easily with hearing her answer. Reign let her workers leave as she felt things were going to get heated in a second. They all briskly left as it drew onlookers outside the window.

“This isn’t an offer,” he obnoxiously adjusted his tie.

“And there aren’t any negotiations available, so no.”

“C’mon, we would pay you handsomely. I might even take you out for dinner, and give you everything you could ever desire.” He approached her.

She held out a clipboard stopping him in his tracks, scoffing at his words. This fool was arrogant, and dense. “No, but thanks. I hope you gentlemen have a good day.”

The rest of the gentlemen in the room got up out of their chairs. This was beginning to feel like Deja-vu. When they completely stood, they started walking around her clinic pushing things over. They were beginning to make a mess, when suddenly Masaki and Hiroto showed up.

“The Amamiya brothers, what a surprise. It��s best though if you don’t stick your nose in this business,” Nikaido focused on the two men. Just the way he spoke to them, compared to Reign, was a given that he was chauvinistic.

“You okay Reign?” Masaki stood directly in front of her as he blocked Nikaido from her sight.

“I’m fine, but these guys won’t be.”

He smirked at her spunkiness. When Nikaido nodded, the goons started to attack the three. They all exchanged punches as Reign started using the clipboard as her weapon. The brothers took over most of the fighting, which she was okay with since she was still healing. She was happy she got some hits in. More guys shuffled into her clinic as they seemed like they were outnumbered. Looking over, she observed Masaki and Hiroto giving menacing smiles. Just like that, they were able to fend off everyone that entered. Nikaido was unsure how the tides turned or where the Amamiya brothers showed up from. All he knew was that his boss was going to be very unhappy about the entire situation.

The suited guys left as Reign grabbed a broom and pale to start cleaning up. Masaki and Hiroto helped clean as best they could.

“Thank you both. I can take it from here.”

“We’re already here, so we're just going to help. Can I buy you that drink now?” Masaki grinned.

Reign stopped momentarily as she smiled. He used her words against her. She looked over at him as his smile towards her was genuine. It took her a moment, but Siyeon’s words swam around like a tidal wave in her head. In a sense, she was right.

“Fine, but just one. I guess you deserve that much.”

Masaki tapped Hiroto on the chest as he smiled. They continued on helping her get her clinic back in order as she gave her workers the permission to take off the remainder of the day. She didn’t want those goons to come back, and them to be vulnerable. As she looked over she noticed the card as she clutched the broom tighter in her hand. She was going do some investigating of her own.

Reign grabbed her things as Kurenai and Kaiya rushed into the clinic. Reign looked confused to see her there.

“Kure? What's going on?”

“We chased off some sketchy looking men scoping the back. Is everything okay?”

“Some dude and his guys tried to intimidate me for the clinic. He was highly insulting to my feminine intelligence. Anyways, I’m okay thanks to Masaki and Hiroto.”

Reign felt it wasn't the last time she was going to see their faces. Next time, they'd probably bring more guys; stronger at that. She placed the business card in her bag as she was fuming. Kaiya sauntered over to the brothers as she circled them. They stood still, as they didn't want Kaiya to get defensive. She was a larger dog, beautiful, but her size gave the indication she could be scary.

Kaiya looked back at Reign when she sniffed Masaki. She nudged his hand to pet her as he just laughed.

“At least I'm popular with one pretty lady,” he grinned at Reign causing her to look away.

When Kaiya got to Hiroto, she jumped on him. When she got his attention, she licked his face. This was odd since Kaiya wasn't really a people person. She was highly selective on who she liked. Reign noticed her watch as she and Kurenai needed to lock up the clinic.

“Kure, Sakura needs to eat. I'm gonna head home. Gentlemen, you're invited to come, the least I can do is make dinner for you both,” Reign sat on her bike awaiting their answer.

The brothers looked over at each other, right before climbing on their bikes. The four headed home as she was in the lead. Siyeon and Ivy were still gone, and if Reign had any luck, it’d stay that way. She didn't need Siyeon telling her she needed to jump Masaki anymore than she already did. When the door opened, Masaki and Hiroto held the door for Reign and Kurenai.

Reigns rose breasted cockatoo strutted towards them, showing her wings. She picked her up as she smiled, Sakura's eyes closing halfway. Masaki was amazed as he never saw a bird so pretty.

“Who's this fella?” he lightly stroked Sakura.

“This is Sakura. I raised her from a hatchling. She's really sweet,” Reign’s eyes sparkled talking about her.

Sakura nipped at Masaki’s hand as she started climbing on his arm. When she got up to his shoulders, she flapped her wings and started dancing causing Masaki to freeze. Her crest was completely raised as she bounced.

“What, uh what is she doing.”

“She’s adorning you right now. Her whole behavior is showing she is fond of you. Congratulations, my bird doesn't want to peck your eyes out,” Reign smiled as she went to the kitchen pulling out pans and groceries to make them food.

Kure got Hiroto a drink as they sat down at the kitchen bar.

“This is a nice house, very calming. How long have you two been friends?” Hiroto glanced around the room noticing the way everything was in immaculate condition.

“For a while. We have two more roommates, Siyeon and Ivy, who have been around for a while too. They work with me.”

“That’s cool, I did notice your bikes all have the same symbol, what is it?”

“It’s Belladonna, that's our crew name.”

Belladonna; that swam in his head. Beautiful but deadly. This intrigued him more now that she said that. They had secrets it seemed, and he was curious to learn more. Once he and Masaki were alone, this would be a topic of discussion.

Masaki noticed Reign glided across the kitchen in her own zone. He placed Sakura on her post as he was mesmerized by her.

“Wow, she can fight and is domesticated,” he muttered under his breath.

Reign’s hair started falling from her ponytail as he rushed to put it back up for her since both hands were occupied. He thought she’d look phenomenal with a higher ponytail, so he started running his hands through her hair. She lightly gasped forgetting her task; putting her into a slight trance. His grip tightened as he wrapped the tie around her hair. He smiled hearing her gasp, as he placed both hands on her shoulders.

“Oh shit, did you finally do it Reign?” Siyeon’s voice broke Reign’s concentration as her and Ivy placed their bags on the table.

“Looks like she might have, or they’re going to at least,” Ivy giggled as she took a sip of her drink.

“Did she do what?” Hiroto peeked around Kurenai wondering what they meant.

“I can’t be the only one seeing their intense chemistry. Why else would he have gone out of his way to run to her aid more than once?”

Siyeon sat down as Reign glared at her. She continued making dinner trying not to let Siyeon’s words get to her.

“Si, cut it out. Reign is touchy,” Ivy giggled.

Hiroto and Masaki sensed the tension as they tried to deflect her words. Masaki joined her as she looked up at him giving him a half smile.

“Listen, I don't want anything from you other than your time. This is more than enough,” he gazed at her adorningly.

Finally, Reign’s hard work paid off as she placed the food on the table. The aroma filled the house as everyone started getting hungrier. Hiroto helped serve drinks as they all dug in. They found meaningless topics to discuss and debate, all while enjoying themselves. It definitely was a first, for the brothers, that they had someone cook for them personally.

“What do you think of the food boys?”

“It’s delicious, thank you Reign,” Masaki was having a hard time pulling away from his fork.

Reign downed her drink more as she left the table. It was time for her medicine and she was feeling it. She wasn't too talkative, seeming as she had something else on her mind. She just couldn't get Nikaido off of it.

“You’re welcome guys. I'm glad you enjoyed it.”

After dinner, they helped her clean up the kitchen. Masaki shoved her out of the way as he started washing the dishes for her. He started to eventually wear on her.

“So, the elephant is in the room. Do you just not like people?”

“Oh I like people just fine, just not everyday. I’d rather deal with animals. They’re loyal, it’s hard to find loyalty anymore.”

“I take it there’s no boyfriend.”

She got quiet as she focused on the plate she was drying, “There hasn’t been a while now.”

He nodded his head, but he instantly caught on she had secrets too. He looked over at Hiro as he was having a luckier time connecting with Kurenai. He felt if he was smart enough, he wouldn't chase after her; but his heart was telling him to continue on. The day that she would fall for him, would bring a storm like no other that he wanted to weather. He wanted to see this through.

After they finished the dishes, Hiro motioned for them to leave as it was getting late.

“Thank you ladies for feeding us, but we ought to be leaving. You all have a good night and we’ll see you around.” Hiro bowed at Kurenai.

Masaki looked over at Reign as he smiled. She nodded her head at him as he left.

Reign walked on to the balcony as she watched them get onto their bikes to head out. Masaki paused a brief moment before taking off; as if he had something else on his mind that he didn’t get to say.

“Are you going to let him walk out of your life too?”

“Can it Si, I have no room to involve someone into the business we do.”

“He looks far from innocent and naïve, so what’s the holdup?” Si offered her a drink as a peace offering.

“You wouldn't understand, so drop it,” she turned away from Siyeon walking back into the house.

Just as always, Reign pushed people away. Relationships made her uneasy, leaving her vulnerable and her emotions in someone else's control.

“One of these days you're going to wake up really lonely and regretting never letting your walls down enough for someone to get through. You deserve to be happy and find someone crazy enough to love you.”

“It doesn’t hurt having friends Reign,” even Ivy was heard trying to talk sense.

Siyeon was a bee buzzing in her ear at this point. She just wanted silence. Reign went to her room as she sat at her desk. The card from the office was staring at her, as she had an uneasiness about the situation. Reign would have to figure out what to do to prevent this group of men from destroying what she worked for.

[the-shy-artisan]

What is your biggest pet peeve with Kratos’ story??

Oh this is a really good one.

I think my biggest pet peeve lies with Valhalla's retconning of Kratos' past actions. Now before I go any further, I want to make it abundantly clear that I adore Valhalla and the Norse series as a whole… I just have a habit of critiquing my favorite things lol.

And I get that the whole point of Valhalla was to put said past actions in a different perspective -- but I didn't ever interpret Kratos as being selfless (even indirectly). In the original games, Kratos was an arrogant, selfish bastard --especially so in the first entry (2005)-- and anything he did was not done without benefitting himself first. Hell, at one point his own wife (Lysandra) calls him out on his bullshit ("[…] For the glory of Sparta? You did this for yourself.").

The more positive spin on Kratos' deal with Ares or his "sacrifice" at the end of God of War 3 just felt a little weird to me. But then again, I am being a bit nitpicky here LOL

His evolving characterization in 2018/Ragnarök/Valhalla is still a sight to behold, he's really incredibly well written and his flaws make him seem so human.

He's still my specialist, most favorite bastard tho lmao ♥

[gutsfics]

What kind of movies do you think Avalon acts in (genres, tropes, etc.)?

ooooh this is such a good question!!!!!

Avalon will take a role in anything so long as it sounds interesting or fun to make, no matter the genre, but he tends to gravitate more towards comedies and dramas, especially romcoms and dramadies. also maybe its the Dad in him, but he loves acting in children's media.

in more broader terms he just really likes being in films that are uplifting, whether its because theyre fun and lighthearted, or because theyre about the good shining through darkness. he likes being in movies that have hope in them, you know?

also cowboy stuff. ik thats vague but hes So cowboy.

his favorite types of characters to play are "has seen The Horrors but still tries to be positive no matter what" and "gruff tough man adopts child and becomes soft" and also drag queens

his least favorite/most hated genre is inspiration porn. he cannot stand being in it, and he can't stand even watching it. he usually turns down roles like those as he feels fetishized by it. the closest thing he's ever done to something like it was a story written and directed by someone who has a similar disability to his own, based off of their own personal experience. and by "closest" i mean it wasn't at all. also it was more of a surf movie than anything.

also while he loves being in comedies, he absolutely hates being in movies that make a point of making fun of his weight or ethnicity or disablity or sexuality. specifically the kinds of movies that are like "BEHOLD. A FAT MAN. LAUGH NOW." like come on give it some fucking substance. he can take a joke those just aren't jokes

RCD!Avalon kinda hates being in action movies, but that's because he's burnt out on them. specifically, he's burnt out from doing them basically nonstop while in contract with Montmartre. he liked them at first (his biggest issues with them not coming from the filming but his experiences w Montmartre himself) but they quickly got repetitive, and then after they got repetitive they got uninteresting and-more importatly- downright stressful to make, what with having to act in greenscreen rooms with the most barebones ass sets and only being given his lines (and only his lines, so he was missing half the context) maybe an hour and a half before fliming. he'd show up to set hungover a lot. but like he'd still be professional on set, but when he wasn't in a scene he'd be kinda quiet and tired and keep to himself :( very unlike him but tbh not many people he spent time around knew that bc they didn't know him before, or they didnt know him very well before

sorry i didn't mean to go on a rant about the stuff he doesn't like there lol

[starport-seven-five]

Finally doing this! I am eternally grateful to @mirilyawrites for the tag!!!

Rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

Top 5 works I'm proudest of:

The Bored and the Furious (Sylki, E) mostly for my realistic sadist Sylvie

The Beauty And The Grace (Sylki/Lokius, M) because it was deeply personal and the first multi chapter fic I've ever done

In the face of certain doom (Sylkius, E) because it's so emotional and for the longest time I struggled with the setup

(Can't get) Away From This Love Affair (Sylki/Lokius, E) because I think it's so unique and very different from the rest of my work up to that point, and because it has my first (tiny, shitty) fight scene

Nothing But Time (Lokius, E) because I feel like I really captured a lot of what drew me to the ship in that one

Top 4 current wips l'm excited about:

-my fanfic of @dewdropreader's fanfic!

-Lokius body worship fic (aka I'm super horny for the Mobius tummy so Loki needed to be, too)

-the Lokius reunion kiss fic that is somehow both all there in my head and fighting me tooth and nail at the same time

-the sequel to my angstfest It Wasn't You (which is literally just more angst, please don't expect any resolution)

Top 3 improvements in my writing:

-I branched out a TON with what kinds of fics I wrote! From mostly just PWP to fluff, angst, humor, /reader, and more.

-I got more confident taking risks with things like figurative language, more 'artistic' formats, etc.

-this might sound weird, but I got more comfortable with using pronouns with scenes involving two characters with the same pronouns. I used to do that thing where I would avoid two 'he's in the same sentence, for fear of confusing the reader. But it always felt clunky. I got comfy with the idea that the reader is intelligent enough to figure it out in most places, and I think my writing flows so much better now.

Top 2 writing resolutions:

-finish some of these older WIPs that are all but abandoned 😅

-write or continue to write for other, non-Loki fandoms

(Possibly killing two birds with one stone by finishing off that nearly 15 year old Sparrabeth WIP 😂)

Number 1 favorite line:

To be honest, probably a toss up between these two:

Into these two precious entities who hold him, who behold him, who have taken him apart and put him back together so many times there’s not a single cell of his body, a grain of his soul, they’ve not seen and held and turned over in their hands in reverent examination before replacing it, all of it, exactly as it was. Exactly as he is.

-Parts of one whole (Sylkius, M)

That this man, who in reality was nothing more than ordinary and mortal, had taken the time to open him up, peeling back layer after layer, exposing him, digging deep, reaching down inside and holding his heart in his hands; that he had done all of that and seen him laid bare, seen all of him, and had stayed, had asked him to stay, had deemed him worthy; that for some reason, Loki had let him, had felt him chipping away at his defenses and allowed it; had offered up his heart for the taking and felt it safer, even, in Mobius’s hands than in his own.

-Nothing But Time (Lokius, E)

And they're basically the same exact sentiment 😂 But so accurate!

Tagging absolutely anyone who wants to do this of course but also @playinggalaga @chaos-monkeyy and @andy-skull!

[kohakhearts]

💎🦋 (why can't I find the white heart emoji)

thanks leo!

💎 why is writing important to you?

well...it's complicated. LMAO. but i've been doing it forever and ever, and i've had my ups and downs with it. for a long time it was how i got validation from people. almost exclusively. and then that stopped being enough and lo and behold i...stopped writing. but i missed it a lot and i've come to realize that it's because, to me, writing is like...the best form of communication i have. and that's not just the actual written work itself. it's also a way i've connected with so many people whether that be through fanfiction communities or poetry workshops or my students - especially my students lbr. and i think it's a really neat way of knowing and understanding people, and yourself. and for me, it forces me to be honest about who i am and what i value, which i struggle with sometimes otherwise on account of the Disorders et al. so yeah, short answer is communication!

🦋 what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

at this point, i think there's not much? the biggest thing is like...that it won't be received, at all. but i've had that happen with enough of my fics that it kind of just...is a Thing That Happens, and it's not a big deal. but there's always that feeling from the get-go of, like - what's the point, what if nobody even reads it? or, worse - they DO read it but don't say anything about it? don't even leave kudos or a heart or anything? but fic writing for me is really not a big deal so if it happens, it happens, and i move on. it doesn't bother me as much as it used to (which even when i said didn't bother me at all, was actually a lot. this time i mean it tho lmao).

🤍 what’s one fic of yours you think people didn’t “get”?

the fic i wrote about molly weasley. i will say, ultimately, this comes down to how i wrote it. but the intention behind this fic was not to frame molly as a loving mother. it was more or less to put her on blast for not being what she says she is, and certainly not what jkr tried to make her. in the end i guess i gave her too much grace and too much motion as a character. but the whole point is that she says and believes so much of herself and puts all her worth into who she is as a mother that being faced with the fact that she has let something so major slip from her sights, well - she kind of more or less doubles down and has to make it known that, like, she did the bare minimum but she's going to do more, except the point is like. she didn't EVEN do the bare minimum, and it's difficult to get that across when the main characters here are molly herself, as the pov character no less, whose entire sense of self would crumble if she let herself believe she Isn't mom of the year, and harry, who faced so much abuse he can't distinguish between someone who cares about him for his own sake and someone who cares for him in the most superficial way possible, for her own sake. but a lot of people responded to the fic to say that like they love molly and harry's relationship, or like bless molly for being there for him, but that wasn't the point, really. so yeah. that one. not to say i don't value and appreciate those responses, because i do! but like...definitely not what i was going for with the fic haha.

fic writer asks!

[makinami-ao3]

ao3 wrapped - 2024

to say that 2024 was quite a year would be an understatement. despite how crazy life got for me this year, i'd say i still produced some of my best work and was at my most productive writing-wise/creatively this year too. this is based of this post; i won’t be answering every single question, just the ones i find most interesting/applicable, or i’ll be combining some questions together.

How many words have you written this year?

122,303 🎉

How many works did you publish this year?

11 

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i would say the baby au series is probaly the one thing i’m proudest of having written this year. tbh i never thought i’d ever write babyfic/kidfic, not because i don’t like kids or anything lol but moreso because i was never really interested in that sort of thing, storytelling-wise or whatever, before. crazy what an intense bout of baby fever does to a mf. jokes aside, i really, really enjoyed writing this series. i loved getting to write bronseele experience something like their happy ever after and just build a life together.

What work of yours has the most hits?

lifetimes (doing it right)

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

lifetimes (doing it right), still

Favorite title you used

idk really. i’m pretty happy with my title choices this year, but i guess if i had to pick then it’s sanctified (inside you) and (you’re so) physical, because (1) they’re both taken from nine inch nail songs i really like; (2) they’re meant to be complimentary, down to how the position?? i guess of the parentheses are reversed; and (3) i think they (and the songs they’re lifted from) capture the concepts, ideas, etc. the fics are all about really, really well

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

it’s a tie between beyonce and nine inch nails (spotify playlist with all of the songs i pulled fic titles from here)

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? / Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? 

bronseele, for both, though i’ve obviously really been enjoying writing sharahu

What work was the quickest to write?

morning glory and in the eyes of the beholder were written back to back, i think only 2 weeks apart? which is already pretty fast by my standards

What work took you the longest to write?

probably ’til water falls. i’d never written, like, almost purely smut before that, so i was still figuring my way out around it

What’s your longest work of the year?

’til water falls (22,558 words)

What’s your shortest work of the year?

like it rough (3850 words)

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

i’ve pretty much written and posted everything i want to write and post, so i’m starting with a clean slate in the new year

Your favorite character to write this year?

the easy answer is bronya, whose pov i’ve also written from the most, but i’ve also come to really, really enjoy writing from shalom’s pov. they’re both enjoyable to write in different ways. coincidentally they are my favorite characters in their respective games

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

this is definitely more than one, but: yuzugiri (jigokuraku/hell’s paradise - i have an escort au that’s been gathering dust in my brain for ages now), zoya/bai yi (path to nowhere)

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

2,183

What do you listen to while writing?

tbh i have a very hard time focusing if there’s music playing, which is why i don’t listen to music while writing. i’ll put on a video essay in the background insted, or i go split-screen mode and put on a favorite show of mine to passively rewatch as i write. 

Favorite work you wrote this year?

bronseele baby au with (you’re so) physical as a very, very close second

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that i’ve mostly posted one-shots. i normally like having something to chip away at for a long and sustained period of time, which means mostly chaptered fics and stuff, but that brings with it its own set of pressures and stresses, and honestly where i’m at rn in life just means i can’t afford to add all that unnecessary baggage to my life. writing one-shots has helped manage that, and has helped me fulfill my creative needs too, and honestly it was just nice focusing on one thing at a time and then posting it before i hop on to the next thing vs. chipping away at a long chaptered fic and then hitting an inevitable mental/writer’s block because i just feel burnt out from it. i guess part of it too is me unlearning this thing where i’m like, everything i write has to be The Next Great Thing or has to be #Deep and shit but really, it’s just unnecessary pressure. in the end all i really want is to put out fics i’m proud of and feel satisfied with, and there’s more to the craft than just chasing greatness or whatever.

i would answer #29 (favorite line/passage) but i feel like there's just too many to pick from, and it would be impossible to pick just the one.

hopefully 2025 will be a fruitful year for fic too.

cheers 🥂

[hereintheinbetween]

I wish I could describe to you the noice I just left out something between a whale, a yodeling cat and a snort 😭😭

I've literally been on my phone disassociating for hours so brace yourself

**I referred to the female character as "her" even tho its supposed to be the reader just to make things less weird

First and foremost shes giving me Little mermaid vibes. I'm here for it tho. As someone who had some serious restrictions growing up, I think it's only natural to wonder what's outside your boundaries

I think that her stubbornness and determination is probably part of what's attractive to him. Imagine wanting something so bad you were willing to literally risk everything for it? Also, his people literally worship him and have his whole life. It has to be a bit refreshing to encounter someone who doesn't fully fall in line. Even tho he's very much in a position of power still, she's kind of a slight resistance to him by breaking his biggest rule. As contradicting as it is I get why he likes the defiance.

Her constantly wandering further towards the boarders (so to speak) also gives me Moana vibes... I finally made a Disney plus account yesterday. Sue me (gotta brace for BPWF coming to streaming lol)

The way he tossed a whole person on to dry land like the catch of the day was hot as hell. It shouldn't have been, but it was. The strength. The aggression 🤌

"Do as he says and he will spare you. No matter what he asks." Namora... what kinda deals have you seen make before to say this?? 🤔🤨

Someone should not be able to manage charm while threatening to lie to your parents about your death. The fact you managed that is A+ writing. I sound sarcastic but I mean that sincerely, I'm just judging myself (down BAD)

The smut is well written and I'm going to use what's left of my composure to not act a fool over it but... EVERY other night?? Several times a night?? Got damn can she walk swim?!

Idk if you've ever seen the movie Like Mike but this same thing happens. There's an orphan who asks to meet potential families that want to adopt him. The person running the orphanage wants to keep him there as he's generating money. So he sets up the WORST families for the boy to interview with. It was about as affective as it was here but also hilarious. It should have been obvious it wouldn't work. If someone is optimistic and is shown all the bad of a situation, it will just make the good that much more alluring. I like that she unintentionally forced him to acknowledge the good of the world. Even he can't dent the beauty of certain places. Plus assuming they went on land somewhere in Mexico, it really is beautiful.

does he somehow have a Spidey sense for pregnancy cause....

i wonder who goes to get her for him and if they have any idea what's going on 🤔

This shows a really great progression of the relationship in a condensed way. It's almost like a montage was painted without it being explicitly described. I admire that. The same with the sex. You feel the shift to things being more tender. Accurately depicting emotions during sex/sexual situations is hard. Even movies often struggle to get it right. Being able to do it thru words is a skill I do NOT have (at least not yet) so you should be proud of yourself.

I said it already but I hope there's a part two. This would honestly be fun to read as a fullblown series because of how much there is to tell. There's a bunch of perspectives you could touch on (his thru their time together, hers as she fails at dating, namora catching her/seeing things develop between them, her parents failing at discouraging her etc. ) My mind is literally hardwired to think of all these different "what ifs". I get that your probably working on a bunch of different things for the same reason tho so I respect that.

behold my random ass unhinged thoughts and comments *takes a bow*. The days over so I'm kinda late, but hopefully all this helps you have a better day tomorrow.

Namor likes to find you and use you whenever he pleases. It's a deal you have. He has full access and your family will never find out that you visit the surface.

ooh interesting. A little bit of dark Namor I think.

Summary: It was a scandalous secret you kept with the King, of all people. He took you to the surface to quell your curiosity and in exchange your body belonged to him.

Kind of Yandere!Namor some smut.

Namor hated the surface world. He knew the danger it posed to his people so he actively kept them from it. The only Talokanil that ever saw the surface were those who fought beside and for their king. But in such a sheltered place, no matter how peaceful and self sufficient, there would always be a curious few who wanted to see the world outside.

The King ordered his soldiers to stop any Talokanil who may venture too far from the kingdom or try to see the surface world. It was for their own good that they be kept in the confines of Talokan.

You were one such member of Talokan who yearned to see the surface. To feel the legendary sun on your skin and to see how atrocious it was with your own eyes. You had slowly been testing your luck, swimming closer and closer to the surface at the far edges of the country.

Between the underwater ravines was the only place that no one could see you. One day you finally broke the surface, keeping your eyes above water while you still breathed beneath the surface. The sun was dazzling, the sky a shade of blue you had never seen before. You longed to rise up further and feel the sunlight on the rest of your face, but suddenly you were dragged back into the water.

There was a firm grip on your ankle as you were pulled back into the sea. You couldn't shake off your captor as they sped through the water, through the cyclones and the darkness. Soon, you were surrounded by underwater caves. You stopped fighting and felt your heart sink as you recognized who was dragging you, the King.

Suddenly you were thrown up into one of the caves, broke the surface of the water, and landed harshly on the dry stone. It only took moments for you to begin gasping for water. You had fallen hard onto your hip and couldn't get yourself to stand with the constricting of your lungs keeping you on your knees. You began crawling back towards the pool only for the tanned and winged feet of the King to come into your vision.

With his foot he turned you onto your back. You continued to choke on the air as he crouched over you. From your peripheral you could see the King's commander, Namora, hand something to the King.

"Hush," K'uk'ulkan bent over you and grabbed you by your jaw. You could feel yourself going lightheaded until he placed a breather over your mouth and nose. The rush of water brought you instant relief. The King watched as you regained your senses than stood up.

"Namora, bring her to my tent when she can stand," K'uk'ulkan commanded as he disappeared into the hall of caves.

You took deep breathes and sat up slowly. Namora approached you, shaking her head in disappointment. She offered you her hand as she spoke, "Silly girl. You will regret trying so hard to reach the surface. K'u'kulkan is not pleased."

You could feel yourself shaking, not from the cold but from the fear of being punished. Your parents had told you since childhood to stop daydreaming about the surface world. They had warned you that it was a huge offense to K'uk'ulkan to seek out the outside lands. But you never listened. Even when your father punished you when he found you on the outskirts of the country for the first time. Even when your mother had yelled at you for being insolent and too stubborn for you own good. Now the person who could truly make you regret it had already threatened your life by dragging you so suddenly into the air.

On shaky feet you followed Namora down the halls to a tent that sat in the center of a much larger cave. She left you at the flap entrance and gave you one last look, "Do as he says and he will spare you. No matter what he asks."

With those words as her parting gift, Namora dove into a pool to the side of the tent.

"Come," The voice of the King called to you.

You entered the tent to see the King sitting on a stool, a cape covered his shoulders and part of his chest now. He was writing something in a journal, not looking up at you. You bowed deeply then showed the sign of respect with your hands, "K'uk'ulkan. I am honored to be in your presence."

The King scoffed and looked up from his writings, "Come."

He commanded as he put the book and brush down on a small table next to him. You approached him slowly, not meeting his eyes as he observed you. You could practically feel his eyes raking across your body. Your hands were clasped in front of you and you focused on them. His tan hand found your clasped ones and he pulled you close to him.

You stood now between his spread thighs. From your standing position you were taller than him and looking upon his face. You had never seen the King up close before. The rumors of his handsome face were not unfounded, he was as godly as he was said to be. The piercing eyes, the curve of his nose, and the smirk on his lips. Your heart was racing at the proximity. You could feel his thighs against your own, he ran warmer than anyone you had ever met.

"You are beautiful for such a curious fool," the King mused as he leaned back to look at you. The back handed compliment was unexpected. You looked away, embarrassed. But the king nudged your chin with his knuckle to make you meet his eyes again, "Do you wish to see the surface world?"

You hesitated. You knew he knew the answer, that's why he had so violently dragged you there. But he still waited expectantly, his eyes glimmering with mischief.

"Yes, I've always wanted to see it," You replied, trying not to let your voice tremble in the face of the King.

A smile alighted his lips as he stood, keeping you close to him, your front flush against him. He roughly grabbed your jaw with his hand, looking into your eyes, "What price would you pay to see the surface?"

"Price?" You asked, trying to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks.

His hand moved from your jaw to your cheek, "I can grant you your wish to see the surface, keep it a secret from the rest of Talokan, if you strike a deal with me."

"If I don't?" You asked, defiantly,

The King chuckled in amusement, "I kill you and tell your parents you ventured to the surface like the fool that you are, where you were killed by surface dwellers."

You gulped loudly, surprised by the callous way he threatened your life while still smiling slightly down at you.

"So will you make a deal?" He asked, stroking your cheek affectionately. You tried not to flinch.

"What is the price?" You asked, shivering under his touch.

"You are the price. You will be mine. You will come to my palace whenever I call for you," He purred the words against your cheek, a tinge of amusement in his voice. The King wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, his hand still on face. "And whenever you wish to see the surface I will take you."

Your heart was racing. You were no young maiden ready to be handed off to a husband. You had accepted a life alone with your fantasies of the surface. The very curiosity that had made many Talokanil turn away from you as an option to court. Now here was your option of not only survival, but getting what you always wished for, more than anything in the whole of Talokan.

"What say you?" The King asked, looking down into your face.

"Deal."

~~~

K'uk'ulkan captured your lips in a consuming kiss as he thrust into you. His hands were around your face while you clawed at his back. Your legs were hooked around his waist as he pounded into the softness of your pussy. You whimpered at the assault on your senses. No matter how many times he took you it was always so intense.

He pulled away, wrapped a hand around your throat, cutting off your blood flow as he sat up and fucked your pussy deeper. You held onto his wrist looking up at the King as his eyes bore into your own. Then with a grunt and three hard thrusts he came. K'uk'ulkan released your neck and peppered your jawline with kisses as he pulled out of you.

You were breathing heavily, body melting into his large bed. He was particularly insatiable tonight. You had lost track of how many times he had filled you, and how many times he had made you cum for him. The King pulled you into his side and kissed your forehead softly. The gesture no longer surprising despite the disconnect of the soft affection to the hard way he used you.

The King had called for you every other night since the deal you had struck with him. During the days when he didn't call you, he would take you to explore the surface.

K'uk'ulkan had been sure to show you the worst of the surface world. He explained the wars, the colonization, and the destruction that had befallen each end of the Earth. He had taken you on a tour of the waste lands, of the ruined waterways, and the polluted tributaries. He tried hard to make you hate the surface world the way he did.

But eventually, realizing that your curiosity was not satiated, he began showing you the beauty left behind. The jungles, the oases of the world, and the elegance of some of the modern societies. He relished in the stories of the ancestors you shared with some of the surface dwellers and how remnants of the old civilizations still remained. You were fascinated in the new world, and enamored by the man who showed it to you.

It was wrong in so many ways, falling for a King who would strike up such a salacious deal. But he had been kind to you in that aspect. That first night he had been gentle. He had taken his time, showing you every part of your body and his that could bring pleasure. The way K'uk'ulkan looked at you when you shared his bed would convince anyone that you were too precious for the world.

You were ashamed to admit that you had fallen so easily under his charms. His kisses and touches pulling wanton moans from you so quickly it made him chuckle against your thigh before he tasted your center. The King had taught you what it meant to be worshipped with his fingers, tongue, and cock.

Some days he was rougher than others. You could tell when a day like that was coming because he would be more quiet when he adventured to the surface with you the day before. The following night when he would call you to his chambers he would waste no time in ripping you from your clothes, throwing you on the bed, and shoving himself inside you.

You hated yourself for liking his rough and dominant side more than the gentle one. He knew this. That's why on nights like this one when he had torn your clothes and told you to get on your knees and take him into your mouth, he had swiped his hand between your legs on your way down. He would lick your arousal from his hand as you took his hard cock into your mouth. The King punctuated his thrusts into your mouth with praises of how wet you were for him every time.

It was now a muscle memory response. The moment someone came to take you to him, your thighs would grow slick with anticipation. You were hungry for him and he had trained that hunger into you.

As you lay in his arms now, he reached over, sliding his hand down your belly to the apex of your thighs. He nudged you to kiss him as he thrust his fingers into your pussy, making you moan.

"Ride me," he whispered into your cheek and you obeyed. You straddled his waist and thrust down onto his hard cock. K'uk'ulkan let his hands roam up and down your body as you fucked him. He pinched your nipple and guided your hips. The King smirked at you as you moaned.

You shifted the angle as you leaned down to capture his lips in a wet kiss. Your tongues swiping against each other. You shifted your hips again and the deep moan he made in response made you smile.

"You siren," he mumbled against your mouth before he flipped you over. He hooked your leg up onto his shoulder as he thrust furiously into you again. You whimpered and moaned with each thrust. You were so close.

"K'uk'ulkan," You barely moaned.

"Tell me what you need, precious girl," he kissed your leg, and palmed your breast as he continued his steady pace.

"I'm so close, please. My king, please."

"Please what?" He smiled down at you again with that mischievous smirk.

"Please make me cum," You moaned, grinding into his thrusts.

"Gladly," his fingers found your clit and he rubbed it in time with his thrusts. You felt yourself grow wetter and more sensitive by the second, '"Cum for me, in yakunaj,"

The words took you by surprise just as the tidal wave of your orgasm crested and hit. You moaned loudly as the King continued his thrusts and ministrations on your clit. You felt his cum spurt inside of you as you came down from the mind shattering pleasure of cumming on the King's cock. A luxury you were now used to.

He did not pull out of you as he pulled your leg back down around his waist. K'uk'ulkan seated himself deeper making both of you groan. He leant forward and leaned his forehead against yours as your heaving breaths intermingled.

The gently kiss he gave you was surprising. Coy almost in how he barely touched your lips. When you opened your eyes there was something in his that was unreadable. Then he pulled away from you completely and left the bed, and the room.

You lay there dumbfounded. Why had he just left you? What had you done wrong? At that moment you felt a queasiness in your stomach that had you rushing to the lavatory to empty your belly of its contents. The King did not return as you sat in the lavatory dry heaving.

....

I know, I know, I left it open ended again. I can't help it.

all comments and reviews and reblogs and tags are appreciated and welcomed.

[emile-hides]

My mind is plagued by them so badly if anyone wants to do me the biggest solid and send me asks about them I know no one goes here anymore but this is for me to say my many thoughts at a void I just need a single prompt

[wren-of-the-woods]

Hi! I was wondering if you could make a part two for Kaer Morons fic recs, you don't have to and fell free to ignore this if your busy with other things or just don't wanna do it. Loved the last fic recs for them so much so thank you for that post! I'm happy to just have yoy see this and see my thanks for it :)

Ahh, hello!! I'm so happy you liked my last reclist! I've actually thought about doing a part two of this because I encountered several excellent ones since making that last post, so I spent the morning trawling through my bookmarks and here we go!

A few of these might also be on my other reclists, but they're good and they fit the criteria so I'm mentioning them again! By coincidence, all fics on this list were written before season 2 and thus don't take that canon into account. As always, y'all are more than welcome to chime in with your own recs. I'm always looking for more fics to read!

Without further ado...

Fic Recs: Jaskier and the Kaer Morons (Part 2!)

There Are Other Gifts than Silver by @elder-flower (Rated T, 18k, Geraskier)

Behold the wonderful work of my absolutely amazingly brilliant secret Santa!! Geralt invites Jaskier home to Kaer Morhen for the first time and it’s the sweetest thing ever.

The Path Not Taken by sopses (Rated M, 40k, endgame Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

This one was recommended to me in the notes of my last reclist, and it’s really good! After the dragon hunt, Jaskier saves the life of an injured Eskel. It all just sort of escalates from there.

Two wolves, a cat and a bard walk into a tavern by Beginte (Rated T, 6k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Jaskier and Geralt bump into Lambert and Aiden on the way to Kaer Morhen. Awkward meet-the-boyfriend ensues. This one never fails to make me grin — I’ve read it at least twice!

The Witchers’ Bard by operacricket (Rated T, 5k, Geraskier)

While taking care of a group of slavers, Lambert, Eskel, and Vesemir discover a bard in need of rescue. Excellent bard whump and hurt/comfort with a happy ending. Make sure to check the tags!

The Non-Denominational Winter Party by @jackironsidesfic (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Housemates Geralt and Jaskier are hosting their yearly Non-Denominational Winter Party, but somewhere along the way their friends seem to have got the wrong idea. ‘You … know that Jaskier and I are just friends, right?’ A fluffy and hilarious modern AU!

Tumblr Greatest Hits by ohnoesidontknow (Rated M, 9k total, Geraskier and Jaskier/Vesemir)

A group of seven wonderful ficlets collected into one work. Including but not limited to: Eskel and Lambert thinking Jaskier is imaginary, Jaskier knighting Geralt, and Vesemir stealing Geralt’s bard in about five seconds.

Eskel is a Fanboy by @pillage-and-lute (Rated T, 3k, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel)

In which Jaskier is a famous bard, Eskel is his biggest fan, and Geralt loves them both very much.

Stories on a Page (series) by @jaskiersvalley (Two works - Rated T, 1k, and 2, Geraskier)

An adorable series in which Jaskier discovers the witchers can’t read and decides to teach them. The first work is Geralt, and the second is everyone else.

My Name is Hidden On Your Tongue by anarchycox (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Jaskier’s family is cursed — every male-born child cannot be named, and anyone who tries to refer to them by the names they are given will have an allergic reaction. Only a soulmate speaking your true name aloud will break the curse. Jaskier is determined to break the curse, and what better way to do that than traveling with a witcher?

I Was Pledged to You, To You I Pledge Myself by anarchycox (Rated T, 9k, Geraskier)

When Jaskier is four, his daring escape from a family dinner and subsequent rescue by a witcher results in him becoming betrothed to someone called Geralt of Rivia. The plan is for them to marry when he’s twenty. Scenes from Jaskier's life of meeting every witcher but his betrothed, until one day in a shitty tavern, he finally meets Geralt.

the shape of a pear by @julek (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

Geralt doesn't call Jaskier pet names, so Lambert starts doing it for him. Hilarious!

Sing Me a Song by Arvari (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Aiden isn’t dead, but Lambert doesn’t know that. To remedy this, Aiden seeks out Jaskier (who is away from Geralt after the Mountain) to sing a song and let Lambert know he’s alive. Technically, Aiden isn’t a Kaer Moron, but this is just too hilarious not to mention!

Jaskier and Mountains Just Don't Mix by C4t1l1n4 (Rated G, 4k, Geraskier)

Despite the other Witchers' positive reaction to Geralt's bard, Vesemir is reluctant to have a human stay with them at Kaer Morhen so Jaskier attempts to leave and ends up almost freezing to death on the side of the mountain. Excellent hurt/comfort with a happy ending!

Return to Cidaris by pinksugartales (Rated M, 34k, Jaskier/Valdo Marx transitioning into Geraskier)

A modern AU. Valdo returns to his hometown for the first time in years, inadvertently reconnecting with his first love. Jaskier follows his fiancé a week later and finds himself the obstacle to their Christmas love story. At least the man he meets in the little town’s bakery is there to offer him support. Wonderfully depicted relationships. The Kaer Morons aren’t the focus, but their presence is absolutely wonderful!

Bonus:

Hibernating with Ghosts by Fayet (Rated M, 183k, Geraskier)

Another one from the notes of my previous reclist! I haven’t read this one, but have been assured that it’s very good. Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen and there is both fluff and angst.

~

Part one can be found here! I also have lists of Geraskier feel-better fics and soft Geralt fics.

[anyonghalimaw]

vic can you help me out I wanna read more scps and you're the scp guy do you happen to know any that aren't super paranoia inducing like shit w break-ins or kidnapping or stalking etc that's the biggest reason I don't read them T_T SORRY if this is like weird to send through an ask it felt rude to ping you KDBFKDNDKD

oh u have no idea what floodgates u just opened ^_^ behold one of my longest google docs

sd lockes 001 proposal (when day breaks) - hinges on body horror and the concept of the inescapability of its danger. love love love the atmosphere this fucking article did something to me when i was 15

2316 (field trip) - this ones a classic and recently blew up with that bodies in the water meme that apparently happened on tiktok ? i dont fucking know anything that happens on that fucking site. godless land that it is. anyway if u have issues with unreality idont recommend this one coz its very dependent on the whole "lel can u trust ur memories :)" thing BUT if u do read it. my only note is to remember to check the sites source code when u finish it ^_^

not a seagulls 001 proposal (the sky above the port) - made as a contest entry and written in just 24 hours! i wont go into it coz le spoilers but keep in mind that the theme of the contest is "it was all a dream"

2521 (●●|●●●●●|●●|●) - idk if this one counts under kidnapping coz its not like . irl human kidnapping but its more like candlejack mechanics ? but its one of the most clever articles ive ever seen coz it was made for a contest in which the goal was to use the least amnt of words possible, which it very quickly won by having a grand old total of Zero Fucking Words. the presentation of the article ties into the actual in-universe mechanics of the scp itself!

4999 (someone to watch over us) - this one isnt scary either but this shit unironically made me cry it has done unspeakable things to my mind

2264 (in the court of alagadda) - not that scary honestly but idont give a shit i love it coz ALAGADDA BABYYYYYYY visualizing the city itself based on the written descriptions is very entertaining. its the culmination of the hints of worldbuilding set up in 701 so i recommend reading that one first

2935 (o, death) - yay exploration logs all my homies love exploration logs. anyway this one is less . of being Directly Scary and most of the horror lies in the implications of whats going on. i hate thinking abt this one coz the concept at its center is scary help

5031 (yet another muder monster) - a commentary on Ye Olden Times when every scp was OUGH SCARY MURDER CREATURE RAURGH and everything was keter class for no reason coz people kept thinking keter = Most Dangerous Ever LOL this one is very very sweet and makes me feel the full range of emotion possible

4182 (there is no site-5) - AN EXPLORATION OF THE EFFECTS OF MASS CRUELTY! particularly if those effects manifest in an anomalous manner oopsie ! its got a lot of blacked out data but its not overused in an annoying way the blacked out letters r meant to be part of a puzzle that U Urself will piece together. i do wonder what happened to site-5 :)

5140 (everest) - i like this one because the vague nature of it leads u to wonder whether theres actual physical fuckery going on or just mental fuckery where the ppl there Think physical fuckery is going on. it feels very small scale surprisingly its a simple concept executed well! gives me older series vibes

1342 (to the makers of music) - oh boy oh geez a space travel based one. i wonder how Tumblr User tychomagneticanomaly1, known fan of space odyssey and interstellar who grew up on carl sagans cosmos will feel about this one! yea this one makes me very fucking emotional its an oldie but a goodie and makes me cry

[reidjumpers]

would you ever write something along the line of the minimal loss episode reimagined. so instead of emily being in the ep it’s the reader and spence has the biggest crush on her. it kills him knowing that she’s getting hit and bruised. yeah i don’t know if you would do it but i love that idea.

GUESS WHAT I really love this idea too so I tried to rewrite Minimal Loss reimagined. Please emphasize on tried.

“Which one of you is the FBI agent?”

Spencer could feel his blood run cold at the question Benjamin Cyrus fired at him and you. He subtly glanced towards your direction, pressing his lips and tried his best to maintain his composure. He watched you shift on your seat a little bit, eyeing the gun on Cyrus’s hand intensely.

“Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows in faux confusion.

“God will forgive me for what I must do,” Cyrus said calmly. Too calmly. Spencer gulped as he heard the clicking sound of his gun. He caught the sight of you gaping and eyes widened in horror as a gun aimed against his head.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“One of you does. Who is it?”

“Me,” your voice was firm, slicing through the thick tension. Spencer slowly turned his head towards you with a wide eye. You glared at him with an eye that screamed don’t you dare at him, determination and fear swirled together in your eyes made him shiver. He could feel dread and helplessness slowly sinking in. “It was me.”

Cyrus lowered his gun that aimed at Spencer, slowly turned his direction towards you. Spencer shot you a glare and silently demanded you for explanation at your stupid sacrifice. You had just deflated your own fear and bargained for your safety in order to save him. There was a bitter taste curled and overwhelmed him at the tip of his tongue upon knowing he couldn’t do anything to diffuse the situation.

Spencer let his shoulder sink a little bit as Cyrus silently holstered his gun into his pants, allowing himself a brief relief upon knowing that he didn’t have to watch your demise today. It took everything inside him not to jump and inserted himself in between you and Cyrus as he yanked you to the ground by hair and a sound of your pained whimper filled the room. He couldn’t even bring himself to flinch when a rifle aimed towards him as his eyes fixated on the sight of you being dragged across the room.

“I told you not to put me in this position!” Cyrus snarked, releasing his hold on you and slammed you to the concrete floor. Spencer bit the inside of his cheeks and could feel the tip of his fingertips go frozen as dread and fear pumped rapidly into his system.

The sound of you being slapped filled the room made him flinch a little bit. He glanced briefly towards the rifle against him, giving him a brief break from the horrifying sight before him. Spencer could feel anger and disappointment filled him with the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything besides watching you being beaten mercilessly by Cyrus. It was supposed to be him. It was supposed to be him who took all the beating instead of you. You were everything good left in the world and you are a living reminder that there are lights and hope in life despite all the horror and worst face of humanity he was constantly being contaminated with.

What would he do if you were gone then? The brief horrifying thought flashed before his eyes as he watched Cyrus slammed your defenseless body into the ground again. He could feel hot tears prickling in his eyes at the thought of living his life in void and helplessness if you ceased to exist before his eyes. Spencer collapsed his balled fist into his lap as the realization that he couldn’t live without you washed through him.

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut as your body was slammed against the wall and hit the mirror, refusing to picture the sharp shard of glass cutting your skin.

“Proverb 23rd tells us that bloods and wounds cleanse out evil,” Cyrus recited as he yanked you by the collar again and slammed you against the wall. Spencer could feel anger and disdain boiled inside him as he watched your body helplessly fall into the floor after the impact of your collision with the wall.

“I can take it,” you said with a firm voice. Spencer caught your eyes briefly as your eyes flickered in between him and Cyrus that stood in between you and him.

His heart fell into the bottom of his stomach like a heavy sandbag. He knew what you meant from your firm stares alone. You only said that to reassure him and signal the team outside not to come in a rush. It was a minimal loss situation, Spencer had concluded. He drew a sharp breath as he mentally prepared himself for a situation where he couldn’t possibly save everyone and had to accept however many people he could save while others perished.

Spencer glanced up to meet your eyes again before Cyrus moved to block his sight. He furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of your eyes screaming I’m fine, I’m okay at him with blood flowing freely from your broken nose. Dread settled painfully in his bones that the possibility of the team having to choose between your life or his was too close than he liked.

He blinked his eyes to shoo away the tears that threatened to fall. He couldn’t afford it. He couldn’t risk blowing up another cover that guaranteed his life when you had sacrificed yours for him.

Cyrus beat and slapped you for another round with disdain painted clearly on his face. “Pride comes before the fall,” he said as he punched your stomach and slammed you to the floor, thinking you were antagonizing him as you repeatedly said you could take it. Spencer let out a relieved sigh as Cyrus took a step back from you and left you shaking with pain on the ground, instructed Cristopher to tie you up and took you upstairs.

Not today, he reassured himself. Forcing himself to be satisfied and grateful for your spared life. Not today.

***

Spencer had just successfully coaxed Cyrus into testing the negotiator for the FBI and proving them that they were not a liar and ensuring your safety. Disgust and anger brewing at the pit of his stomach every time Cyrus glanced his eyes towards him. He somewhat marveled at the plain trust Cyrus gave him effortlessly. The memory of him beating you hadn’t left his mind, still painted fresh and clear as if it still happened before his eyes. He had to mentally restrain himself from glaring in disgust at the thought of Cyrus molesting a child and beating you up until bloody and bruised.

“What is it, Christopher?” Cyrus addressed his man that had been trying to shot down Spencer’s suggestion regarding the situation. Only then Spencer turned his attention fully at him who had been pacing around in agitation repeatedly.

“Some of them had been talking about leaving,” he sighed.

“Leaving?” Cyrus pressed his lips together as Christopher affirmed his question. Spencer balled his fist and hid it inside the pocket of his pants as he waited in antagonizing anticipation with whatever next step Cyrus would take. “Wake the baby. Let’s get them meet the orphan that they made.”

Spencer nodded mutely at Cyrus’s decision. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding this whole time, letting himself loose a little bit and allowed himself to feel relief washed through him. Cyrus had taken the big bait and he had ensured your safety with his lies and negotiation skill. It was the least thing he could do after what you did for him.

He knew he would be damned if he couldn’t get you out of his god forsaken place alive. For now he just has to give and surrender with whatever fate is waiting for him into the hands of the team waiting outside. He took one longing glance outside from the window, wishing that he would be staring into the starless sky with you right now.

***

Spencer watched from the back silently as the members of the cult filled the empty chair inside the chapel one by one. What was once an empty and quiet chapel now buzzing with life and the air was stale and raked with fear. The negotiation test went as smoothly as Spencer could wished for. He heard Rossi rattling out your identity to Cyrus in exchange for your safety from a speaker phone as they released the orphan into the team outside.

You emerged from the opposite end of the chapel, a swarm of children and women pushed through from behind you. Spencer stared and watched the way the sunlight that slips through the chapel window fell into your skin. The glowing sunlight from behind your back casted a halo behind your figure. He noticed that your blood had been cleaned up and there were a few specks of dried blood on the collar of your shirt. Some newly formed bruises littered your face, angry and red and was a painful sight to behold. He hated it.

Cyrus was listing out names from the list he had written the day before as Spencer slowly made his way towards you. Everyone’s attention was focused on their leader calling out the names on the altar, but Spencer’s focus was solely on you. Your eyes were watching Cyrus solemnly as you leaned yourself into the wall to support your weight.

Spencer lifted his hand to touch your face and stopped midair before he realized a tad bit too late. His finger twitched painfully with a burning desire to feel you underneath his fingertips, but he couldn’t risk another round of beating and blowing up plans that had been rolling quite smoothly so far.

Guilt surged inside him like the sea, disdain and bitterness brewing and threatening to explode from the bottom of his stomach. He could feel himself dying a little bit inside at the frightening state you were in, all because you were sacrificing your life for him. For his sake when he wasn’t even sure he deserved it.

You finally acknowledged his presence and spared him a glance. Your eyebrows furrowed together in distress and Spencer had to restrain himself from the temptation to put his thumb in between your eyebrows and smoothen out your stress wrinkle between your eyebrows. If he could take away all your pain, he would.

“He looks pissed,” you whisper-yelling at him. Spencer couldn’t bring himself to respond to your words. Even after you took the downfall and hard beatings for him, you still think about other’s well-being instead of yours.

You took another glance towards him from the lack of response from his part. Your eyes scanned his face briefly before your lips twitched into a soft, reassuring smile. “I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Spencer shook his head, refusing to believe your words. “I’m so sorry,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and full of regret scratching his throat painfully.

“No, no,” you shook your head and quickly squashed his apology. “No apologies. We both know one of us has to take it.”

“But why should it be you?” Spencer hissed through his greeted teeth. His distress and agitation, and overall emotions that he had been trying to tuck and buried it away seeped into the surface. He could feel his mask cracking and threatened to be broken, and he was thankful for the roaring voice of Cyrus listing out names that masked his own. “Why should it be you? Why couldn’t it be me?”

“He had a gun against your head, Reid!” you hissed back with an equal amount of emotions laced on your voice. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t let them kill you. I know they would kill you first if one of us refused to answer. I can’t, Spencer, I—” you took a sharp breath and glanced away from his prying wide eyes. He could hear your voice wavering and your eyes glossed with tears. “Look at the people he’s releasing.”

“It’s the one who failed the loyalty test,” he observed. The previous slip of emotions was being put to the back of his mind again as he noticed the new fact he just found. “I’ll get word to the team, wait for the sign from outside indicating what time the raid will come.”

You stared at him with a wide eye, confusion and fear swirled together. You looked so vulnerable and small like that, like a polished porcelain that could crumble into dust anytime. Spencer nodded firmly and gave you a reassuring smile, silently asking you to believe him. He almost jolted with surprise when you grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly and briefly, understanding what he was trying to do.

“Be careful,” you whispered.

He nodded and turned away to make his way to Cyrus, not believing himself to utter any single words without breaking down. He was determined to make sure you were safe and would make it out alive, whatever it takes.

“Told her she shouldn’t have blinded you like that,” Spencer told Cyrus with a faux exasperation and disappointment. He shuddered when Cyrus nodded sympathetically.

“To either of us,” he corrected him sympathetically, which made Spencer want to do nothing but curl up in disgust. Cyrus jerked his chin towards your direction and addressed Christopher, “Bring her back.”

Spencer watched you being dragged up by your upper arms into wherever they were keeping you. He forcefully gulped and shook away the lump of dread on his throat, disbanding it as soon as it was formed. His eyes were apologetic and yours were nothing but filled with determination and forced bravery.

Those who had failed for the test were ushered out of the farm through the front door. Spencer mentally counted the amount of people who walked out into a guaranteed safety, relieved that it held a much greater amount that he had prepared. It was only a matter of saving the rest and finding a way in for the team to bring you and him out of this place.

Cyrus was making his final and last negotiation call with Rossi, asking for a fried chicken and its sides for their last supper and the presence of media to document his sacrifice to God. A suicide attempt to bring down himself and his faithful fanatic followers was a more appealing option to him rather than surrender himself to the authority apparently. It was obvious from the first time Spencer stepped into the building, but it still didn’t fail to fill him with dread and fear.

“I’m always looking for signs of things to come,” Spencer explained to Christopher with a polite smile after he demanded how he had known Cyrus’s plan of final act of sacrifice all along. He maintained his gaze firmly and silently wishing that the team would catch his words through the parable microphone planted outside. It would be his only hope and way for them to come in.

***

Thick smog and fire blinded his sight and blocked his way. Spencer stumbled upon a block of brunt wooden log as Morgan dragged his limping body outside the chapel. Cyrus was dead, but Jesse had finished his suicide mission by blowing up the chapel and the rest of the building. He could hear sirens blaring outside and faint sounds of wails and fearful screams mixed together in the air.

The thought of you trapped inside the building flashed before his eyes for a moment. He didn’t have a moment to glance back to make sure about your whereabouts as he kept coughing and stumbling, Morgan’s grip still firm on his upper hand to drag him outside into safety. Fear started to paralyze his body that he nearly fell into the concrete fall face first. He just needed to see you, to make sure you were safe.

He didn’t know that the sight of armed soldiers and police cars could bring an immense amount of comfort for him. Spencer nearly cried at the overwhelming relief that he was out unharmed, slipped by the last strand of his hair from his ultimate demise. But he couldn’t allow himself to be relieved and comfortable before he knew where you were. Before he knew if you were safe.

“Spencer!” your voice came faintly in between the chaotic sirens and the sound of angry fire eating up the chapel. “Morgan!”

Spencer watched you squirm out of Emily’s embrace, running limpy towards him. He knew he had burst into tears as soon as his eyes landed on you, safe, alive, although littered with bruises and dried blood on your shirt. His shoulders sank and shook as your arms wrapped around him tightly, all the horror, fear, and dread that he didn’t allow himself to feel in the past few days before had rushed into him and knocked all the air out of his lungs.

Relief and comfort of knowing you were safe in his arms was a breath of fresh air for his burned lungs. Usually he would squirm at the thought of touching someone, but the steady rise of your chest as you breath against him overcame all the unfortunate uncomfortable thoughts that came with the activity of hugging someone.

“You’re safe,” Spencer gasped as he released you from his embrace. He was aware that everyone was watching him hugging you and he fought all the mortification that slowly crept up his cheeks. He tried to mask it away as being a relief to find his coworker made it out alive from the sticky hostage situation.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you reassured him with one last firm squeeze on his arms. He wanted nothing but to pull you into his arms again, shield you for any harms lurking in the outside world. The anger that had been forgotten on the back of his mind surged inside him again. But he had to be satisfied with only one final squeeze as you parted from him to be checked by the paramedics.

The flight back to Quantico was quiet and a peaceful one. Everyone was winding up and breathing from the horror of the case that just wrapped up. Spencer tried his best to distract his mind with his book, burrowed in the furthest corner of the jet as the comforting and steady hum of the jet lulled him to sleep.

You slipped into the empty seat right across from him. A weak smile and a timid greeting were exchanged between you and silence followed right after. Spencer knew what conversation would follow after this, and he didn’t want to face it just yet. He had stopped reading from the moment you took the seat and watched him with careful eyes, but he still put up the act in the hope it would steer you away from bursting his bubble.

It did not. Spencer didn’t put up a fight as you gently took his book away from his hands and placed it gently on the table.

“I need you to listen to me,” you started with a firm voice. You were wearing the nice lilac shirt that Spencer liked, and the bruises on your face had started to heal and fade away. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault. It was my decision and I would do it again.”

Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but you tilted your head with your lips pressing together, discouraging him to counter your statement. He took a sharp breath and shook his head.

“Do you hear me?” your voice was softer this time. Your hands silently reached for his and held them gently. Your thumb made a soothing pattern on his knuckles, a reassuring and determined smile was on your face. Spencer couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. “Do you hear me, Spencer? I will do it again. It wasn’t your fault. It was my decision.”

“I know,” he answered finally.

“Thank you.”

“Please know that I will do the same for you.”

His words had caught you off guard. You stared briefly before nodding, patting the top of his hand gently with your hand as you gave him a really bright smile. Spencer let himself sink further into the comfortable leather seat and let relief washed through him again. Everything will be okay.

[timeagainreviews]

The End of an Error

In October 2018, my partner and I visited the city of Nottingham for a convention. As we walked down the streets of that beautiful city, we saw a large billboard with Jodie Whittaker’s orange visage advertising the Doctor Who series eleven premiere. I was so excited that I took a picture and posted it to my Instagram. At the bottom of the billboard were the words “It’s about time.” It was a clever little tagline making both a pun about the program’s time travel element and highlighting how they had finally cast a woman in the role of the Doctor. Earlier this month I took the same trip down to Nottingham and wondered if I would again see a giant Jodie Whittaker, but alas, there was nothing. We did finally get an air date for her final episode that weekend. And I remember thinking “It’s about time.”

Up until the announcement of the release date, the fandom had been quite vocal about the lack of advertising around the centenary episode. Various fan outlets had done more promotion for the show than the BBC itself, which is a far cry from just four years ago. Fan anticipation felt more like frustration, and it’s easy to see why. After a steady decline in ratings and viewership, it feels as though the BBC has very little faith in one of its biggest flagship series. After all, why throw good money after bad? Perhaps they knew it wasn’t worth it. Compare the tepid fan reaction to official photos of the Master as Rasputin and the Cyber Time Lords in Doctor Who Magazine to the excited buzz around some fuzzy pictures of Beep the Meep.

Judging by social media, there are two types of anticipation for Sunday’s upcoming episode. The first type comes from people excited to see the thrilling conclusion to the Chris Chibnall era. The other type comes from people like myself who are thrilled to see the conclusion of the Chris Chibnall era. We’re basically excited about the same thing, but for totally different reasons. They want to see Jodie and Mandip kiss, while we want to see the end credits roll. While I wouldn't mind seeing them kiss, I'm more excited to get what has been an awful four years over with.

It was exactly 1,475 days ago when I had written my first article about my hopes and expectations leading into the Chibnall era. I was so full of hope back then. I even referred to Chibnall as things like “Mr Chibnall.” Even then, however, he was always my greatest worry- the weakest link in a strong chain of talent. At the beginning of every series since I have done an article of this sort. It’s become a bit of a tradition. While “The Power of the Doctor,” is not the beginning of a new series, I felt it merited some reflection before the episode aired. I don’t want my final review of the Chibnall era to become a dissection of it in its entirety either. I’d like to be able to talk about the story on its own merit, if possible.

Three nice things about Chris Chibnall

Growing up, my mom often quoted Thumper from the movie “Bambi’, when he said “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.” While I don’t exactly agree with the sentiment, it is a lesson from my childhood that has always reminded me to be kind when possible. No good criticism comes from a place of cruelty, so I thought I might take the time to say three positive things about Chris Chibnall. 

Firstly, the man has an eye for talent. You cannot say that for the last four years, Doctor Who has looked like shit, except where it definitely should (e.g. Sontarans). The shots of the TARDIS in the time vortex are some of the coolest shots to ever grace the screen during a Doctor Who episode. A lot of the visuals felt like callbacks to the first three Doctors’ respective eras. Something which I often praised despite the quality of the episodes involved. Speaking of callbacks to the classics, the music was also a thing to behold. While some people miss Murray Gold, I really enjoyed Segun Akinola’s ambient scores which often felt like homages to the Radiophonic Workshop. His presence as the show’s composer will go greatly missed. Chibnall also gave us great actors in the form of Jo Martin, Bradley Walsh, and even Jodie Whittaker when given the proper material, which is really the crux of the matter. So many people were firing on all cylinders, but it amounts to very little when in service of mediocre writing.

Secondly, the man had ideas. I often times hear people trying to say Chris Chibnall has no good ideas, and I always reply with how wrong that is. Chris Chibnall is a man with loads of ideas, but sadly, not much time and/or ability to explore these ideas. The Doctor becoming a Weeping Angel is a great idea. It’s unfortunate then that it was used primarily as a cliffhanger ending. The idea of the Doctor being a woman is also a great idea. It’s unfortunate then that it rarely ever came up narratively. Even the timeless child storyline has the capacity to be interesting, but instead, it’s a confusing mess that contradicts far too much of what came before. Herein lies the problem of being an ideas man while not being able to go beyond the initial premise- once you do it, you can never do it again. If you fail to explore a brilliant idea, you’ve done nothing but waste its potential.

Thirdly, he has given me and others a greater appreciation for previous eras of Doctor Who. While I said I appreciate the callbacks to the aesthetics of classic stories, the real gift he has given us as fans is that of hindsight. A middling story like “The Sontaran Strategem/The Poison Sky,” seems like a work of art by comparison to the Chibnall era. We see Donna comparing her travels with the Doctor to the quaint neighbourhood where she lives and it tells us more about her character visually than any two Chibnall characters stopping the action dead in its tracks to tell each other how they feel. Simple things like basic character development now feel like precious gems comparatively. I know about as much about Astrid Peth in one episode as I do about Yaz over thirty-one episodes. It’s not that we expect Russell T Davies to blow our minds, but some character development is going to feel like that dank shit compared to the mids Chibnall’s been selling.

If you can’t tell, I told a bit of a lie. Those three things weren’t exactly nice, which I promise wasn’t actually by design. I have been trying to come up with three genuinely nice things to say about Chris Chibnall for months now. Every nice point I came up with always had a sort of caveat. It’s like when the Army tells prospective recruits that they have over 200 jobs and that you only need to find the right one for you. At the end of the day, it all still leads to being in the fucking Army. As much positive spin as you try to put on the situation, it’s all leading back to the reality of the situation- it sucks.

My “hopes” for the centenary

I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it- I never watch Doctor Who hoping it will be bad. I want to love and enjoy the show as much as the rest of us. But unlike my initial article “The Eve of the Thirteenth,” my expectations are less rooted in hope and more rooted in reality. I would love to enjoy this episode of Doctor Who, but history has shown me time and time again that it’s going to be a mess. With the return of the Master, Bell and Vinder, the writing off of two companions, the re-introduction of at least two classic companions, the Lone Cyberman, the Cyber Time Lords, the likely inclusion of the Fugitive Doctor,  and the death and regeneration of the Doctor, there are a lot of plot threads to tie up. Chris Chibnall couldn’t contain a single story within six episodes, how the hell is he going to manage ninety minutes? Oh God, this is going to be a mess, isn’t it?

All worries and logic aside, if I were to hope against hope, my two biggest desires for the centenary are that the Fugitive Doctor gets a proper send-off, and that Chibnall does no further damage to the show’s mythology. Jo Martin’s Doctor has been a fan favourite, but I have often been left underwhelmed by the show’s portrayal of her character. Unlike the War Doctor, she’s never really gotten a chance for her character to develop. While I don’t mind her being shrouded in mystery, I don’t exactly feel as though the show has given her any proper screen time to be the Doctor. In fact, I’m not even convinced she even is the Doctor, at least not from this universe. If it turns out that, yes, she is the Doctor, I’ll just chalk it up to bad writing and hope someone better comes along and actually gives her something worthy of Jo Martin’s talent. Seriously, why did Jodie Whittaker speak over her monologue in Flux? What a waste of potential. I want so much to like the Fugitive Doctor, but the story has been so piss-poor that I worry it’s up to Big Finish and RTD to do her any sort of justice.

You may laugh at my worry about Chibnall’s ability to damage the mythology of Doctor Who with only one episode left, but considering “The Timeless Children,” was only a single episode, you may understand my reservations. This is further compounded by the fact that Sophie Aldred is returning as Ace, one of my favourite companions from classic Doctor Who. Chibnall screwed up UNIT, the Time Lords, and the Doctor. He even managed to get Tegan wrong by handing her a giant gun and having her joyously blasting away despite her entire reason for leaving the Doctor was gun violence. With any other writer, I would be ecstatic over the return of Ace. With Chibnall, I’m very nervous.

This brings me to my deepest hope for Chibnall’s final story- I hope it’s simply just bad. I hope it’s a mediocre mess that’s boring and unfulfilling. History has shown me the futility of hoping it will secretly be good. So my only real hope is that it’s at the very least- not ruinous. I’ll still be happy to see Sophie Aldred, regardless of who is writing. I’m excited to see Jodie’s farewell. I’m hopeful that the Timeless Child storyline might miraculously make some sort of awesome sense. Maybe it ends in such a way that it actually fixes its many problems and truly does add more mystery to the show. I hope that we never see that stupid fob watch again. I hope they fix the issue of the flux wiping out 99.9% of the universe instead of ignoring it. I hope the Master is lying. I hope the Timeless Child is actually someone interesting like Susan or the Master.  I hope that the best part of the episode won’t be the end credits. I hope that when it’s all over, I’ll have more to say than “It’s about time.”

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

Crazy Love

Jensen x Reader 

AN: A huuuuge thank you and lots of credit to my besties @kazosa and @lovealways-j for helping me with this one. A dream I had last night that came to reality thanks to their gentle nudging and encouragement. Also, the first COMPLETE thing I have written in more than a year. So be gentle with me!

Summary: Getting a job with your ex-boyfriend’s new company, its harder than you think to work so closely with Jensen, especially when his new girlfriend is the one who hired you.

1st person POV / WC: 7700 / Warnings: None to mention

When the phone rang on a random Tuesday morning, I didn’t think much of it. I was between jobs and had been putting in resumes everywhere that would accept one. I was barely paying attention to some random morning show on television, when my cell started going off in the kitchen. I had no idea who it was, but hoping it was a job offer of some kind. Who would have thought finding work as a bartender would be so hard?

I answered with a cheery hello, and the voice that responded wasn’t one I recognized, BUT lo and behold, it was a job offer! They were a new upstart bartending company that wanted experienced mixologists to run “shot booths” for catered events. The details of the job sounded great, and the guy asked if I would like to come in for a face to face interview with one of the bosses, Tessa. I agreed and we set a date and time. All that was left was to brush off my shot skills and figure out what to wear to this interview. 

When the big day came, my nerves were all over the place. I had tried to do a little research on the company, but because they were still so new, there wasn’t much about them. So, I headed out with high hopes that I could get in on the ground floor of something great. Never in my life did I think that this job would lead me back to revisit one of the biggest regrets of my life. That realization didn’t come until I had accepted the job offer and started my first day of work. 

Two weeks after a very successful interview with Tessa, I showed up at their warehouse, to get my uniform and schedule. I was introduced around to the other bartenders, runners and staff. Everyone was very welcoming and friendly, and I was excited to get started. Tessa showed me where everything was… stockroom, supplies, and the appointment book. As we weaved our way through the building, I thought I heard a voice that I knew very well and hadn’t heard in years. As we got closer to the main office, I kept telling myself it was impossible; no way could that be HIS voice. Tessa opened the door, she smiled and nearly skipped into the office, and straight into the arms of the man whose voice I thought I had heard… my ex boyfriend, Jensen. 

I stood in the doorway in complete shock as he turned around and embraced Tessa. He hadn’t noticed me yet, and all I wanted to do was run and hide. I hadn’t seen Jensen for nearly three years and the sight of him brought back a million memories of the time we had together. It was when he was working in Vancouver, and I had gone up there for a vacation with girlfriends. It was a whirlwind kind of romance, and when the vacation ended, we tried for months to keep it going. After a year, the distance wore on us and we parted ways. It was something I had always regretted, and not because he was a big celebrity, but because no man had ever made me feel quite like he had. 

He spotted me before I had the chance to leave. I watched his face go from smiling and happy to shocked and nervous. He blinked a few times as if he was trying to believe that it was me standing in his office. Tessa saw his confusion and turned to me. As she introduced us, I noticed a strange expression on her face but had no idea what it could mean. 

“Oh, wait…” she said and feigned a moment of clarity. “You two do know each other, don’t you?” 

She looked back and forth between us, waiting for one of us to admit she was correct. I nodded, and forced a smile. Taking a few steps towards them, I extended my hand in a greeting and tried to be as professional as I could be. 

“Yes, it's been a long time though. I didn’t realize this was your business, Jensen.”

He fumbled on his words, but eventually shook my hand and nodded. 

“Uh, yeah, we just launched it about a month ago. How have you been?”

“Not bad, just plugging away,” I said, feeling like those few simple words sucked the air from the room. 

“Good, glad to hear it,” he said and turned back to Tessa. “So where did you find this one? Last I heard you were slinging beers out in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.”

“Oh, well her application came across the desk a few weeks ago, and with a resume like hers, I couldn’t pass up giving her a shot.”

I’m no psychic by any means, but I got the impression that Tessa already knew that Jensen and I had a past together. It may not have been said, but it was written all over her face. Not knowing what her angle was, I knew I had to keep this all above board, or start looking for another job already.

“Which I greatly appreciate,” I replied, trying to break the tension in the room. “It was nice seeing you again, Jensen. I should probably get back to the warehouse so I can read through these handbooks.” I held up the pile of material that Tessa had given me on the tour, and wanted nothing more than to run out of there.

“Sounds good, make sure you understand everything. We cannot afford for new hires to be unaware of all the rules and regulations for this business. I mean, we consider what we are doing here to be groundbreaking shit in the entertainment industry.”

“I hear you loud and clear,” I said, making a point to look her directly in the eyes. I gave them each a nod and quickly left the office. 

For the first few weeks, I didn’t see much of Jensen around the warehouse. Can’t lie, it was a relief. It allowed me to concentrate on the guidelines for setting up and breaking down the booths, how they wanted the shots to be made, and the way we were expected to interact with the clientele. It was easy enough, but specific to the point where I was afraid one wrong thing would have me back in the unemployment line. About a week before our first public event was when I saw him again. He was walking through the warehouse, going from booth to booth inspecting each one to make sure it was well constructed. He would talk to each bartender and their runner making sure they worked well as a team. 

By the time he came around to my booth, my runner happened to be down in the storage room to grab a few extra bottles for a drink I wanted to try making. I watched him walk over from the adjacent booth, and I think I held my breath the entire time. Tessa was nowhere in sight, and this would be the first time I had faced him alone in three years. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, looking down at his clipboard to avoid making eye contact with me. “How’s everything going?”

“So far so good,” I replied, and went about keeping my hands busy with random things on the hidden shelf behind the booth. “I’m just waiting for Joshua to come back with a few things from the stockroom.”

“Great,” Jensen said without looking up. “I’m just going to make sure the booth is sturdy, and, uh…” he trailed off for a moment, but continued to struggle with his words. “Uh… then, um…” he suddenly stopped and sighed. When he looked up again, I happened to catch his gaze and that was the biggest mistake I could have made at that moment. “It’s really good to see you again.”

I didn’t know what to say. The man could leave me speechless without even trying. I smiled and nodded in agreement. “Nice, but a big surprise.” The awkward laugh that came out of my mouth left me blushing and wishing I could stick my head in the sink to hide. 

“Yeah, surprise is a nice way to put it.” He cleared his throat, I assume to say something more, but it was then that Joshua returned with the bottles in hand.

“Here ya go, Chief. Now, how do we make this drink?”

Jensen raised his brows in question, then looked down at the bottles. “What drink are you making?”

“It's something I came up with a while back. Normally I make it for myself, or if I have friends over. Not sure if it works as a shot, but it's tasty and I thought I could give it a try.”

Jensen came around to the back of the booth and stood frustratingly close to me. I caught a slight scent of the cologne he was wearing, and it shot me right back to a cold, rainy day in Vancouver. We were walking down a street, lined with small shops and cafés. He had been holding an umbrella in one hand, and had my hand entwined in his other. We were talking about nothing special, just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Jensen saw a little boutique that was closed, but turned and playfully pushed me back under the awning of its front door. He dropped the umbrella to the ground and laid a kiss on me that would nearly take the life force from my body. It was slow, and wanting, his hands roughly moving up and down my body. It was a kiss that said, ‘I want you now, because having you in my hands breathes life into my veins’. At least, that’s how it made me feel. 

“You okay?”

I heard Jensen’s voice and it snapped me back to the present day. I left the memory in the past, and nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I was just trying to remember the exact measurements. I have them written down in my log at home… forgot to bring it with me.”

I could tell he didn’t completely believe me, but he rolled with it and started looking at the ingredients I had laid out in front of me. 

“From what you have here, it’ll probably be great. I know that you know your way around the bar, so let’s give this a try.”

That interaction stuck with me through the entire day. I was excited that he enjoyed my drink, and took his small suggestions happily. But being in such close proximity to him again left me feeling confused and a little sad. That night, I laid on my couch and replayed the encounter over and over again. It had to just be my overactive imagination that caused me to see stolen glances from the corner of his eyes, right? That’s what I kept telling myself. However, as the next few days passed by, I started to think I wasn’t so crazy after all. 

The following weekend was the company’s first big public event. We were hired as part of the catering package at a fancy, expensive downtown Austin hotel. It was the wedding of some state politician with a guest list of more than five hundred people, so all of the bartenders were asked to show up and be ready to not only consistently supply shots and drinks, but to be fun and entertaining with the guests. 

Joshua and I set up our booth along the outskirts of the room, allowing us to have a great view of the party and other booths. About halfway through the reception, I could see Jensen and Tessa walking through the room and checking on everyone to make sure they had what they needed. I tried not to focus on them, but seeing Jensen dressed in his finest dark, piercing blue suit was hard to ignore. 

Joshua nudged me gently to get my attention. “You cool, Chief?”

“Yeah, and don’t call me Chief,” I replied, adding a little chuckle so he could tell I wasn’t really serious.

“Nah, you’re the Chief. You got mad skills at this, woman. Let me learn your ways.”

I shook my head and went back to delivering shots of my Malibu concoction. Sometime later, Jensen appeared in front of us, but Tessa was nowhere to be seen. I had to temper my reaction considering how many wedding guests were in the area, so I smiled at him and offered him a shot. He took it happily, making it vanish in seconds. 

“Damn that’s good,” he said as he handed me back the shot glass. The tips of our fingers brushed together, and the feel of his finger against mine made me choke back a reaction. It wasn’t this big electric shock or anything like you read about in a novel, but a tender, knowing touch that I had come to miss a lot. 

“Want another?” I asked, simply to say something that wasn’t what was really on my mind. 

“Yeah, sure.” He came around the back of the booth again, and grabbed a clean mixer. “Hey, Josh, can you run back into the kitchen, and ask the chef if he has any fresh cherries?”

“Fresh cherries?” I asked, curious as to why he wanted them.

“Yeah, trust me.”

Joshua complied with his request, and then it was just Jensen and I standing there. I wish I could explain how it felt. Awkward isn’t the right word, but it was somehow uncomfortably comfortable. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but Jensen brought up a lot of feelings in me that didn’t make sense, so why would this be any different. I felt like I needed to say something to him, but not sure how to phrase what I needed to say. I went about making another mixer of the drink to give myself a minute of self composure, then stopped and turned to look at him.

“I had no idea this was your company, or I wouldn’t have taken the job.”

“Don’t be stupid, turning down this job regardless of who’s company it was would have been a mistake. You’re the perfect person for this place.” He paused then, and there was so much more I could tell he wanted to say. I allowed him his own moment of self composure, and he finally continued. “I mentioned you, to Tessa. When we first started talking about all this. I remember watching you flipping bottles behind that bar where I first met you. How you made Tom Cruise in Cocktail look like an amatuer juggler.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, and think of that night myself. “Yeah, I wasn’t even working at that place. I just had a bet with the bartender that I could do it.”

“I remember…”

We both got quiet, lost in the memory of our first meeting. 

“I remember a lot of things, too, Jensen. And I swear, I wouldn’t have--”

“Tessa knew,” he interrupted. “She knew who you were to me, and that’s why she hired you. 

I was instantly annoyed, yet also vindicated in being right, about his current girlfriend’s game. 

“What did she expect to happen? That we would see each other and I would fall all over you?”

Jensen shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. She’s been doing things like this since we got together. I think she likes to flaunt us to everyone she knows. And even people she doesn’t know.”

“Ah, gotcha. Well, she has nothing to worry about from me. I am here to work and that’s it. Just need a paycheck.”

The music from the band died down, and the drummer started doing a drum roll to get everyone’s attention. When his symbol smash stopped reverberating through the room, the lead singer came to the mic, and announced it was time for the Bride to throw her bouquet. He asked that all the single women come down to the dance floor to try and catch it, as the old tradition would tell who was the next to be married. 

“You should get up there,” Jensen teased.

“God no. I’m here solely for the paycheck.”

“Right… just the paycheck,” he replied. I could feel him watching me, waiting for some kind of reaction. But I wouldn’t cave. 

I looked at the mob of women all crowding the dance floor, and right in the front was Tessa, pushing her way to be at the head of the pack. 

“Looks like your girlfriend is going for it though. Better watch out, she’s looking for you to put a ring on it.”

I was teasing him. Well, mostly. Though the thought of it actually made my stomach sink. Doing my best to shake it off, I went back to preparing a few mixers of the drink just as Joshua returned with the requested fresh cherries. 

After that wedding, I did my best to get on the schedule for the smaller events; ones I knew Jensen and Tessa wouldn’t need to attend. That didn’t stop me from seeing them in the warehouse every day though. On the days where there were no events, we were required to come in and perform some random tasks. Sometimes it was accepting deliveries, sometimes it was repairing booths, or shopping for décor for themed events. Occasionally there were staff meetings, or HR seminars that Tessa insisted on. No matter what reason she gave, I always felt like the intentions were directed straight at me. A warning, maybe, that fraternization between employees and employer would be an automatic firing. I hear ya, Tessa, don’t worry. 

With Tessa’s constant eagle eye presence, I made it a point to never allow myself to linger on Jensen. It was hard, trust me. There were a few times I had to excuse myself out the back of the warehouse to get some air. I did everything in my power to push aside any returning feelings I had for him and just concentrate on my job. It worked for a while, until it didn’t.

It was about a week after the wedding, I arrived at a private residence where we were hired to cater a birthday party. The house was beautiful and enormous. I couldn’t even imagine what the homeowner did for a living that would allow him such a place, but good for him! The whole back yard was done up in a luau theme. Out in the corner of the yard was a giant pig roasted over a bed of hot coals, the pools, yes, plural, were all lined with tiki torches and the female servers wore grass skirts and the guys were donned in Hawaiian shirts. The entire atmosphere of the party was really a lot of fun, and I was excited to have been chosen as one of the three booth bartenders asked to work the party.

As the festivities got under way, I was wowing the guests with some bottle tricks and making sure to keep the shots going out on the server’s trays. I took Jensen’s fresh cherries idea and had a jar of them soaking in Malibu rum, to go as a treat with each shot. I hated to admit it, but it paired so well with the drink, I had to sneak in a few of those cherries myself. I had a lull in my service so I took a couple of the cherries in a plastic cup, and asked Joshua to keep an eye on things while I took a break to stroll down to the pool that overlooked the river. I popped a soaked cherry into my mouth and played with the stem, seeing if I could still tie it into a knot. Some old party tricks never really die. 

Jensen came up behind me and cleared his throat. “On a break, are we?”

He startled me, and I nearly swallowed the cherry stem. He laughed, then patted my back as I coughed. I pulled the stem from my mouth and was surprised to see it was, indeed, in a knot.

“Still got those skills too, huh?”

“Shut up,” I teased and felt myself blush. “Girl’s gotta do something to entertain herself. And yes, I am on a break. Joshua has this covered for a few minutes.”

“No worries, you’re entitled to a break. I saw you walking down here and wanted to make sure you were alright. One of the servers had some perv try to cop a feel under the grass skirt.”

“Oh, yikes, that’s shitty.”

“Yeah, no one did that to you, right?”

I paused, looked down at my own attire, plain khaki shorts and our signature polo shirt we would wear to events like these, and laughed. 

“Um, no. No one tried to feel me up in my khakis.”

Realizing his mistake, Jensen nodded and shook his head. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. And no, no passes made in my direction. But I appreciate you checking in.”

He was quiet for a moment, then looked back in the direction of the party. “Look, that was just an excuse to come talk to you. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I--I guess I have been, a little bit. C’mon Jensen, this isn’t the slightest bit weird to you? Me, working for you? I know we weren’t together long, and it was years ago, but--”

“No, it's weird. Big time. But not for the reasons you think.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid to know what reasons he had in mind, and even more afraid they were actually the same reasons I had to feel weird.

“Jay,” I said softly, unsure of what was going to come out next. We both heard the music change from the patio above, and one of my favorite songs started playing, Elvis Presley’s ‘I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’. I grumbled something under my breath, and his attention turned back to me.

“What were you gonna say?” he asked in the same soft spoken tone I had used. 

“Just that, I’ve missed you.”

Without any hesitation, he took a step closer and said, “I’ve missed you too.”

The rest of that evening, we couldn’t help but lock eyes with each other at any given opportunity. He seemed to make his way around to my booth often, sometimes taking a shot, sometimes just to “check in”. At one point Joshua grew concerned that Jensen was somehow unhappy with her performance. I did my best to reassure him that wasn’t the case, we were fine. As the party came to an end, Joshua offered to break down the booth, while I took the trash out to the bin. I had a feeling that Jensen was watching me, so I wasn’t surprised when I turned around from the garbage cans and saw him standing there. It was dark by then, but the outside lights of the house didn’t quite reach where we were standing. 

“Where’s Tessa?” I asked, unsure of what else to say.

“Inside, dealing with the food and shit.”

“Oh.” 

Jensen said my name, almost in a whisper, but nothing after. I wasn’t crazy, there was still something there between us, but we both knew it couldn’t ever happen. He was with someone else, someone he had been with for almost two years. I was simply there for a job, a great job, and not one I wanted to lose because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself.

We stood there, staring at each other, almost daring the other to do something. The moment was thankfully broken by a distant voice calling my name. Joshua came around the corner of the house, and I instinctively took a step back from Jensen. 

“Hey, Chief! Booth’s broken down, what else needs to get done?”

I offered Jensen a sorry smile, and walked off towards Joshua so we could end the night and I could get home to the safety of my house.

As the days went by, Jensen kept finding ways to spend more time around me. It wasn’t long until he took any opportunity he could to somehow touch me. Whether it was on my shoulder to get my attention, or his hand brushing the small of my back as he moved behind me. We even took a lunch break together a day when Tessa wasn’t on site at the warehouse. I felt like we were being callous with our time together, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t worry me. 

I did my best to keep the reinvigorated feelings at bay, but with each ‘accidental’ touch, or stolen glance, it was becoming more and more difficult. Things finally came to a head the night of the banquet for one of Austin’s biggest charity events. It was a black tie affair, and Tessa wanted us all to dress in a way that reflected the elegance of the occasion. No fruity drinks or shots for this group. The normal tiki-style booths we used were replaced with mahogany bar tops with brushed brass accents. The guys were expected to arrive in suits and ties, and the women in short, classy cocktail dresses. I decided to go the extra mile and make an appointment to get my hair and nails done, as well as purchase a new dress for the night. Again, I would be lying if I said I didn’t choose the dress I did, knowing Jensen would be seeing me in it. 

For this event, the equipment and supplies were being delivered a day before, so all we had to do was show up an hour before the event started, and get our bars stocked and ready to go. I was in charge of making Old Fashion shots, a drink I could make in my sleep. It was a nice switch off for a change, but my nerves were starting to rise and there were more than a few times I was wishing I had some of my usual cherry bombs. The band arrived shortly after we did, and I heard the lead singer ask them to do a quick song for a sound check. Her voice was so angelic, I couldn’t help but stop what I was doing and watch her croon out a beautiful ballad. That’s when I saw Jensen watching me from across the room. Everyone else had stopped to watch the woman sing, except him. He was watching me. 

I felt the smile slyly come across my lips, and there was no stopping it. There was no more denying that I relished his gaze and attention coming my way. It was wrong, and I knew it was going to become a problem, I just had no idea that night would be the night it would all come crashing down.

When the band was done, I went back to my duties of prepping the bar. Joshua had arrived and could tell that I was thrown off my game.

“What’s up, Chief? Why down little clown?”

“Joshua, I love you, but you are one strange dude.”

“Yeah. I know. But I am who I am. For real though, what’s wrong.”

I knew I should just keep my mouth shut, but in that moment, I needed to unload on someone.

“Jensen keeps looking at me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate it, but he’s gonna end up causing a scene. Tessa is right over there and she’s gonna notice.”

“Man, she is a sly one.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“She just seems like the type, ya know? I know you and Bossman used to date. Everyone knows. Kinda feel like she hired you as a test for him. At least that’s the consensus between the tenders and runners.”

I had to laugh, because he was right. I didn’t acknowledge that I knew he was right, but went on about my business. I could feel him waiting for a response, so I simply said, “Who knows. C’mon, we got a lot to do before the ballroom doors open.”

Joshua caught the hint, and decided to go to the back room where we kept the supplies and round up some extra napkins and tumblers. I did my best to put Jensen out of my head and just get the job done. I hated to even think about it, but it was at that point I started thinking I may have to quit. Putting myself in Jensen’s orbit day after day was dangerous. I still loved him and while I enjoyed the attention I would get from him, seeing him with Tessa was starting to hurt, bad. I mean, we only broke up because of distance. Him in Vancouver, me in Texas. But now that I see him every day, he’s never too far away. I’d be lying to myself if I said it didn’t make my heart rev like that damn Impala he drove everywhere, sending all manner of signals to the rest of my body. 

Going about my work, I had my back to the room, so I never saw him coming. It wasn’t until I felt Jensen’s hand touch against my sides, and his chin rest on my shoulder that I knew he was there. The feeling of his hands on my body was maddening, and made me realize how damn much I had truly missed him. 

“Move your bar closer to mine,” he said in a rough whisper. He didn’t say another word, but he did let his lips brush against my neck leaving a brief kiss and causing every inch of my skin to break out in goosebumps. 

I needed a moment to steady myself before I could turn around. By the time I did, he was already halfway across the ballroom and walking back to the bar he had planned on tending too. I watched as he stopped two of our other runners, and pointed in my direction. They came right over to move the bar closer to his station. I didn’t think he was serious, because I knew Tessa would be there for the event. He had to know that would spark some kind of incident. The whole thing made my nerves even more shaky, but I did what the boss asked me to do.

Before I knew it, the party was in full swing. The band was playing old swing music, the drinks were flowing with ease, and the guests were all smiles. Despite being right next to his bar, I had even moved out of my post-Jensen funk and started to enjoy the party. Everyone who came up to my bar was kind and jovial, not to mention generous tippers. My Old Fashioned shots seemed to be a hit, unfortunately causing Joshua to constantly be on the run for more bottles. Joshua seemed to be taking longer than usual, so I stood as tall as I could and tried to scan the crowd for any sight of him. Instead, I caught Jensen’s gaze. He made a gesture with his eyes, and nodded his head towards the entrance to the ballroom. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to go out there and talk to him. At least I hoped all he wanted to do was talk.

The moment Joshua returned, I asked if he could hold things down for a few minutes so I could take a quick break. He agreed without hesitation, so looked Jensen’s way and waited til he could feel my gaze, then made my way out of the ballroom. Not sure where to go, I found myself walking down a long, dark hallway with office doors on either side. The only available light was that of the moon streaming through the window at the end of the hall. I waited there long enough to begin to question if I had read his gesture correctly. I moved towards the window, and looked up at the full moon in the sky. More memories of my days with Jensen came back in snippets, and I ached for him. I thought I was done with him, but on that point I was very wrong.

I was about to give up and go back to the party, but that’s when I heard him clear his throat. I turned to see him stand there, and though I had seen him plenty of time that night, in that moment, in that light, he looked better than he ever had. 

He didn’t say a word, just took a few steps towards me and I knew my willpower to not pounce on him was waning.

“Take another step and I won’t be responsible for my actions, Jensen.” 

Again, he was silent, but closed the gap between us. He grabbed my shoulders and moved in for a kiss. When our lips touched again, after years and years apart, it was like coming home again. The feeling of him, the taste of him… I melted into his arms without care and let him kiss me the way he wanted too. Our arms wrapped up around each other, just like that day in the rain and I let him sweep me away into a blissful state of not giving a shit. Incoming voices caused us to break apart, and we both peered down the hallway to see if we had gotten caught. When we realized it was just a couple of lost party guests, he turned back to me. 

“It was the right time for us then, but having you in my line of sight every damn day… I struggle with remembering why I ever let you go.”

I could feel tears start to sting my eyes, and the last thing I wanted to do was start crying. My pull to Jensen was so strong, it always had been. Our relationship was zero to sixty and maintained an incredible rate of speed for almost a year. We crashed, even though neither of us wanted to be out of the race, we were resigned to the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be. But was it? Was now supposed to be our time?

Before I could even respond to what he had said, his cell phone started ringing. He held it up and showed me it was Tessa calling. Jensen held up a finger to say, ‘one minute’, then answered his phone.

“Hello?”

I watched his face as he listened to Tessa talk, and I could see the disappointment on his face. 

“Yeah, okay, I’ll be right there.”

He hung up the phone and sighed. “I gotta get back in there. Can we… can we talk later?”

All I could do was nod and feel an enormous sense of both relief and sadness. I watched him reluctantly turn and walk back down the hall. As sad as I was to see him go, I did very much appreciate the view.

I took a few extra minutes before I made my way back into the ballroom and when I got back behind my bar, I noticed Joshua had a funny look on his face. 

“What’s up? What did I miss?” I asked him.

“Well, you remember what we were talking about before?”

“Which part? We talked about a lot of things tonight.”

“Tessa and Jensen, and making a scene?”

My stomach bottomed out. “Yeah?”

“Well, brace yourself hunny, cause I think we are in for a show. Jensen came back in here a few minutes ago, and Tessa grabbed his arm and yanked him right back out of the room.”

I could literally feel the color drain from my face, and though I had had no alcohol that night, I thought I may throw up. The only words I could think or say was, ‘she knows’.

“What, what’s up, what’s going on?” Jensen asked her as they walked into the back store room and Tessa slammed the door shut.

“You’re doing it again,” she said, calmly but there was an undertone of annoyance.

“Doing what, again?”

“Making googly eyes at the home wrecking hussy ex-girlfriend, and everyone sees it!”

“What are you talking about, that’s not happening.” Jensen did the best he could to keep his tone even, and it sort of worked, considering how shocked he was. He knew he hadn’t been the most converted when he would steal glances to look at her, but at some point he just didn’t care anymore.

“Are you kidding Jensen, everyone can see it and it’s embarrassing! The staff, the guests, everyone! What kind of impression does that leave them with, when the whole world knows WE are the couple here, not you AND HER!”

“C’mon Tessa, you are blowing this WAY out of proportion! Now is NOT the time to have this conversation. Whatever you think you’re seeing--”

“I’m not dumb, Jensen. I’m also not the only one who sees it!”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” he sighed, and turned to leave the room to go back to the ballroom. “We can finish this when the party's over, okay?”

“Don’t walk away from this Jensen! We are gonna settle this now!”

Jensen ignored her, and kept on walking. He did care about Tessa, but the moment he realized that she had purposefully hired his ex-girlfriend just to test him, those feelings began to diminish. He didn’t like games or tests, and Tessa had tried to put him through them one too many times. 

“Goddamnit, don’t ignore this!” she yelled after him. “I swear to God, Jensen, do not walk away from me!”

Jensen again stopped and turned, he was standing in the small foyer between the kitchen doors and the lobby that led to the ballroom. “I’m not ignoring it, I’m asking you to put a pin in it until this event is over. Then we can talk all damn night if you want to.”

“If you think for one second I will stand in that room, with her right beside us before this conversation is over, then you are delusional!”

“Jesus, Tessa, I get what you are saying, okay? And yeah, we probably should talk, but now is not the time! You just said it yourself, everyone we know is here, so why would we hash this out in front of a room of hundreds of people?”

Not waiting for her to respond, Jensen turned on his heel and went back towards the ballroom. Tessa wanted a moment, clearly angry, but trying somehow to contain the outburst that wanted to erupt. By the time she followed him, he was halfway through the ballroom. She saw him about to disappear into the sea of couples dancing, and was unable to control it anymore. 

Tessa was at the threshold of the ballroom, and in her loudest voice yelled, “If you’re fucking her again, then just tell me!”

Despite the music and the clatter of guests’ conversations, she said it so loud, it brought the room to a screeching halt. Jensen froze in place, his chin hung to his chest. He slowly turned to face her and saw that everyone’s eyes were watching them both in stunned silence. He caught my eye at that moment, as I watched in horror, knowing that our rekindled flirtation absolutely did not escape Tessa’s notice. 

I could only just hear him from a distance, but I heard him say quietly to Tessa, “You really want to do this now?” If she responded, I didn’t hear, but I could tell he was defeated and in a resigned tone continued, “Might as well… No, I am not sleeping with her. But do I want to, yes.”

Tessa recoiled at his response and I could see the red flush of anger rising in her cheeks. 

“I knew it, I knew it!! The second she came to work for us, I knew that you would cheat on me! Forget the fact that SHE left you because you were too busy for her! I’ve been here through everything! So, make your choice Jensen… It's me or her!”

Jensen looks around at all the faces watching him intently, because no one really knows who Tessa is talking about. I stood there completely frozen, watching in shock as it all unfolded in front of me. I could see his shoulders slump, just as my nerves started to rise and the lump in my throat made it difficult to swallow. I could feel Joshua’s hand touch my shoulder in solidarity, and I was never more appreciative of his support than I was in that moment.

“I’m…” he sighed heavily and took a few steps closer to her. “I’m sorry, Tessa. But I chose her.”

He turned towards me, making the kind of eye contact that would make any woman turn to a puddle of mush and said, “If she’ll have me, that is.”

All the love I ever had for him caming rushing forth, making my feet move in what felt like slow motion. The crowd’s attention followed Jensen’s line of sight and felt right upon me as I moved out from behind the booth. 

I couldn’t deny that every moment I was near him brought everything back. All the moments he kissed me, made love to me, held me, made me laugh, and made me feel so damn loved. Our ending flashed into my mind, and all the regret that came with it. I hated letting him go, it felt so wrong, but at the time we both thought it was what needed to happen. The stress of the distance made us both so miserable, breaking up felt easier. But being near him again made me see that it couldn’t have been more wrong. 

I knew everyone was watching, but I had to go to him. I didn’t care that Tessa was watching, probably ready to grab me by the hair and try to toss me to the ground. Honestly, I wouldn’t have blamed her. However, I think even she saw that there was something so strong between Jensen and I, because she didn’t make a move. 

Jensen watched me walk towards him, and with every step I took, his cautious smile grew more confident and his eyes grew brighter, more hopeful. There were no words that would make an impact in that moment. All I could do was somehow convey that, yes, of course I would have him. He was all I ever wanted and I was so tired of denying it to the world, and myself. 

A step away, I smiled at him and simply nodded. He didn’t need anything more to know what I was saying. We reached for each other, arms quickly wrapped around the other’s body. When I kissed him it felt like being home again. It wasn’t hot and intense like when we had met in the hallway earlier. This kiss was soft and sweet; more a moment of recognition, than a moment of passion. Passion had never been an issue, the significance of this kiss was us realizing that we were meant to be together no matter the circumstances. 

I could feel his arms trembling around my waist when he pulled back from our kiss, pressing his forehead against mine. He held me tighter, and neither of us gave a thought to the people on the fringe watching us. 

“The hardest thing I have ever done is walk away still madly in love with you,” Jensen whispered. 

“Why didn’t you say that before?”

“I didn’t know how. I thought I could handle seeing you again. But the second I heard your voice I knew I was done for.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see Tessa coming closer. Jensen must have too, because he broke from our embrace and stood to face her, gently guiding me to stand slightly behind him. Her face was twisted into a mess of emotions, but her eyes were clearly ablaze with anger. 

“I can’t fucking believe you did this to me, here, in front of everyone!” She wasn’t even trying to temper her fury.

“Tessa--”

“No, I don’t want to hear it. You made your choice, Jensen. I want your shit gone from my house and I never, ever want to see you again! I promise you, you will regret this!”

She turned on her heel and stalked towards the exit of the ballroom, closing the heavy door behind her. The audible click of it falling into place reverberated through the room. When it died down, you could hear a pin drop in the silence. Jensen came back from the shock of what just happened and looked around the room, realizing that every single person in there was staring at him. He laughed nervously and took a moment, forming some kind of thought that he could say to the guests. 

“Well, that was exciting, huh?” he laughed nervously, and that’s when I felt his hand slip into mine, giving it a loving squeeze. “I’m sorry that my personal life had to interrupt such an important event, but that shouldn’t mean the party doesn’t continue. So, what do ya say, we get that music back on and keep the shots coming! Lots, and lots of shots!”

Jensen looked over to one of the guys and gave him a little nod. The music sprang back to life and a rumble of excited conversation ran through the crowd. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. When he turned his attention back to me, the smile on his face was soft and tentative. 

“So, we doing this?” I asked him, knowing the answer, but just needing to hear him say it again to reassure my heart. 

“Well, there's no UN-doing this ...and yeah, I never wanted to let you go in the first place. YOU are where I belong, and I don’t care what city that means.” He paused, and quickly surveyed the room, noting that the guests were back to conversation and drinking. “So, should we get out of here?”

It was a tempting offer, but there was a magic in the air that circulated from the room that I wasn’t ready to leave yet. Maybe I was afraid the spell would be broken, or maybe I just needed a few damn shots myself. But either way, I wasn’t ready to go just yet.

“No, let’s stay. I need you to hold me close and sway… I love this song. We can figure out the rest later.”

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