#BASICALLY sso does good and bad!

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[bugslaststraw]

So because someone (@theblabarmy hope it's ok to tag) wanted to know. Um. I should make a self indulgent post about my brainchild on this blog. I guess. I have a side blog for her/sso related stuff (@vilda-ravenhill) but still. Hey.

So to preface Star Stable Online is an open world mmorpg about being the Chosen One horse girl who has to fight the bad guys. It's badly written but unfortunately really well concept'd. Got some good art direction. About half the character designs are ass and the other half are genius. Sometimes for the wrong reasons. The gameplay is fine. The fandom does nothing but complain and the creators are so sensitive that they keep listening to bad complaints just because they sound angry. It's got one hundred thousand lore retcons. There are books. The book lore doesn't match the game lore. It's a weird game. I've loved it since I was in like fourth grade and trying to survive being bullied so it's definitely special to me anyway ok more under cut this is long

It gets weird when it comes to the plot though. Cus, well basically it's like this: the whole plot takes place on a fictional island called Jorvik. Somewhere between Norway and England. Its its own country. Its rural and there's like one mall on the whole island. And on this island there are druids that know like actual nature magic and shit? And there's a nature goddess called Aideen, and she has a prophecy that four girls and four horses, called the Soul Riders, are gonna save the world or whatever. These Riders change with time when they get old and die and have to find new ones, but the Soul Horses reincarnate for some reason? Like they can remember their past lives and shit.

So there's this hippy nature cult around Aideen where some of the druids are devoted specifically to her and to training/protecting the Soul Riders, and they're called the Keepers of Aideen, okay. And each Soul Rider has a unique power with it's own symbol so there's like the Star rider the Sun rider etc and they do different things.

But as it turns out there's a secret second prophecy that says there's a FIFTH rider who's like super duper important and knows all FOUR magic circles and that's the player character. Who. Turns out. Is also reincarnating? Like you meet your own previous reincarnation in game and it's the dead mother of a character you already know. Star Stable is bad until it suddenly makes a U turn and does something really clever and there's so much potential and that's what drives me insane.

And there's also this other dimension called Pandoria? And it's got people in it too but Pandorians can't survive on earth because they're dearly allergic to time, yes, literally to time, and humans who stay in Pandoria for too long get very sick and their magical ability goes haywire. There's a pandorian on Jorvik who has created a bubble where time doesn't exist, and he just hangs out and occasionally tries to kill you.

There's also an in between void dimension full of literally nothing that you have to go through to get to Pandoria. Like it's The Void it's The Nothing it's The Fog. There are these magical trees that grow on Jorvik but that reach all the way into Pandoria through The Void and they've got a whole root system there. You can apparently get lost in The Void and never return. It's actual Limbo and it just hangs out there.

Oh and lets not forget the evil counter-cult masquerading as an equally evil oil company (sso has an environmentalist message) that have four DARK RIDERS and DARK HORSES and DARK EVIL VERSIONS OF THE GOOD MAGIC like Dark Sun and Dark Star I shit you not, and they worship an evil chaos god called Garnok who is Literally Just Cthulhu, and their leader is a little too into it for some reason, and also witches exist and they're sometimes evil sometimes not but also they're always evil but that got retconned because star stable is not a good game and keeps contradicting itself and never does anything with its potential or characters or story because it's bad okay holy shit Tumblr doesn't like it when I write this much text hold on I'm gonna continue in a reblog

[dizzysnowbully]

Destructive Criticism in the SSO Community

I have noticed the increasing amount of destructive criticism in the SSO community since the character update. It is clear the majority of the player base does not understand what constructive criticism is, and how it is harmful.

A quote from an article on thriveworks.com  

“...constructive criticism uplifts, offers suggestions, and even provides possible solutions, destructive criticism is cutting, derogatory, and sometimes even mocks our failures.”

Everybody believes that Star Stable Online is a huge company, and that they should be held accountable for their poor management of the game. However, destructive criticism insults the recipient and offers no solutions for improvement. No matter how large a company may be, this type of criticism is unhelpful and overall unnecessary. 

Image credit:  Jayne Pritchard@SlinkyScience·Oct 13, 2020

More importantly in regards to the character update, by insulting the larger body types and particular facial features (ie. hooked noses, large lips) whether directly or indirectly is an outright attack on real people that have those characteristics. It has gotten to the point where people are being bullied over their CHARACTER’S APPEARANCE both in and outside of the game.

If you love this game so much but consistently attack the team at every opportunity, do you really love it at all?

I am an older player. I have been playing Star Stable since 2013. The character update is LONG overdue, and I am happy to see how much care and consideration they put into it. It is clear they wanted to be inclusive and provide a diverse range of options. It is a shame the player base had such a vile reaction. That is not denying the fact that there are issues. 

Now, I am no video game designer BUT I do know a thing or two about website design and I know from experience that code never just works. At this point bugs are expected especially with such a large and important update. 

Opinions are NOT constructive criticism. Personal opinions on the body types have no real value especially when y’all know good and well they said they would add more. Some players to simply call the characters “ugly” and not explain further because they don’t have a reason.

Artists that are familiar with the basic elements and principals of design understand the new characters are not poorly designed. The original character models were not badly designed either for that matter. They were simply outdated. 

With that said let me address some of the complaints that have nothing to do with the design aspects of the characters:

Addressing Common Complaints:

The characters are too big? No. They aren’t. You are just accustomed to looking at a toothpick. The models have been scaled up to better suit the environment. You will get used to it.

The characters are too fat? Well it’s a good thing pixels weigh absolutely nothing.

There aren’t any skinny options. I want curves. COPE. There will be more body types released later, and if that really bothers you I think you should get a life and find something else to worry about.

I don’t like the giant facial features and hooked noses. They aren’t FOR YOU. Pick a face that doesn’t have them. There will be more added later.

Why couldn’t they just release it all the first time? It was stated in the news/blog they have to release it in small portions so not to overwhelm the toasters that some of y’all play on. Also this update has been highly anticipated and in this day and age of Tik Tok kids are too impatient to wait another year.

The animations are bad. They are far more realistic and natural than the original. See no.1 

These complaints are all opinion based and have no valuable feedback. Constructive criticism looks at both the good and bad. Yes, you can like the new characters, but also not be entirely satisfied with them. In all fairness, they are unfinished (See complaints: no.5)

The overwhelming negativity in this community is going to drag us all to Hell. You simply cannot expect an MMO as old as Star Stable to not change. Look at School of Dragons for example. That game is being shut down because it could not keep up with the advancements or didn’t care to. 

In conclusion: I am tired.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

[sadie-wolfdawn]

are we discoursing again? with most discourse, the answer is often found between the extremes. this is one of those cases.

[teabooksandsweets]

Pandorian Problems

It’s time for my occasional, that is sporadic, what I mean is unregularly-but-now-and-then-happening post about SSO, and also SsL, and even OSS, which you can interpret as meaning Old Star Stable or Original Star Stable, depending on whether you consider those games the old games, or the original games.

As not-exactly-usual, but certainly as often, my current concern is Pandoria. You might have guessed so from the title. And it’s about some problems, which you might have gathered as well.

I really wonder just how pink Pandoria is supposed to be in Star Stable Online. And I also wonder how much it’s supposed to be the “pink hell” (which it really isn’t, but I’m not sure of SSE understand that) as commonly called on here.

The “pink hell”

Is Pandoria pink in SSO? I wonder. We see it as a rather muted purple, with some pink sky and details, but not nearly as pink as it is in SsL. But then again, it is described as extremely pink in the Soul Riders books.

Now there’s three possibilities:

Pandoria looks the way it looks in SSO and that is meant by the pink description in the books, because that’s clearly pink enough.

Pandoria used to be extremely brightly pink but somehow got darker and more purple.

The part of Pandoria described in the books is also the part that appears in SsL and therefore bright pinkt, whereas the darker, purpler part of Pandoria we see in SSO is an entirely different part altogether.

We know for sure that it is a different part in SSO. The part with the Fripp statue, and the old temple-ish building, etc. is obviously in a different area of Pandoria. Why shouldn’t it look different in different places? It’s a whole planet (we’ll get to that later) and one might expect a planet to have different landscapes. But is it like that for sure? And if it’s the second possibility, then what turned it so dark? (The first would be easy to explain—just as the nights are rather light in SSO compared to OSS, for instance, it’s just made to be better for the players’ eyes.)

The “pink hell”

This is a fact: Pandoria is not Star Stable hell.

It definitely isn’t in Starshine Legacy, and it couldn’t logically be in Star Stable Online. Not only does hell imply something at least loosely based on the concept of hell, which it clearly isn’t, Pandoria is not even, as usually claimed, an evil place.

Pandoria is different. Pandoria is not some sort of underworld, or just a magic dimension, it is actually a planet that could be physically reached, if one had the necessary technology. Even though SSO strayed far from the canon of the old games, and even though the UFO has been ignored by SSE for years, the references to aliens on Jorvik have never really ceased, they were even mentioned in the most recent quests.

Pandoria can also be reached on a magical or spiritual sphere, it is “a place within all of use” (and of course, that could be a sort of internal heaven or hell of mind or soul, or whatever intended here) and its connection to the Soul Riders is on a different level than just some other planet in space.

But Pandoria is not evil. It is, essentially, a different place. It has a different atmosphere (literally, not meaning a different mood, but an actually different atmosphere) and its different sense of scale and realness, etc. is not due to being evil but being simply and plainly a planet that works differently than Earth.

The only definitely Pandorian creatures we ever met in the game (aside from the rays) are Fripp and Ydris. Ydris is a definite example of a being that isn’t intentionally evil, but in every sense alien to our world, and unable to really function in accordance with another world’s nature and physical (as well as, yes, moral) laws.

I know there’s many theories about Fripp actually being evil, maybe because his entire demeanor is so different from his portrayal in the old games and comics, but even those don’t make sense with an “officially” evil Pandoria. If Fripp were evil, then why should he and his followers claim that his home was basically hell? No, no matter if Fripp is good or bad (or different, as he clearly is!) it’s clear that Fripp loves Pandoria, that he longs for Pandoria and that he would never consider it a place of an evil nature.

(In fact, I am quite convinced that Fripp needs Pandoria, and that his exile has a terrible effect on his physical and mental state, and that in order to recover him he might actually need to go there, but that is a different matter.)

The evil in SSO—or supposed evil, for those who love the “the baddies are good and the goodies are bad” theories—came to Pandoria and to Earth/Jorvik from a different planet altogether. Garnok and his Generals are not Pandorian, and they have a terrible influence on Pandoria as well as on Jorvik.

And I have to say, a real problem for me is the effect Pandoria supposedly had on Anne. If it was actually Pandoria. For Evergray, it makes sense, as he is a normal man from Earth, and therefore in a place so physically against his nature, that he simply couldn’t endure in the atmosphere of another planet without long-term damage. (This, again, is why I honestly think that Fripp needs Pandoria, and that Ydris might not be too well of on Jorvik either.)

But Anne is the Sun of Pandoria. All Soulriders are connected to Pandoria, in some ways, deep down, from Pandoria, and so are their horses. But Anne belongs to Pandoria in a whole different way, she is essential to it, Pandoria needs Anne, and Anne naturally belongs there. Of course, she does have a human body, and maybe it was damaged by the atmosphere over a long time (although not nearly as badly as one might expect) and I personally think that DarkCore did much worse to her than the place itself.

But Anne is practically a goddess to Pandorian people. If Pandoria were a “pink hell” then Anne (and Lisa, and Linda, and Alex, and we—and the horses) were evil. Anne would be the Sun of Hell. Which she isn’t—obviously.

But Anne can be negatively effected by the harm done to Pandoria. And of course, physically she is a human of our Earth. That’s absolutely clear. She isn’t a Pandorian, in that sense. But she isn’t unconnected to it either.

Pandorian Problemsolving

I know that SSE have strayed fundamentally from the storyline of Starshine Legacy. But they still use some old pictures, reference old places and plots, and even mention the extraterrestial parts of the game. The observatories still play an important part (they even brought an astronomer and an alien together) and they never really made a clear cut from the old stories.

I don’t see why it should be difficult to put it all together. I mean—I made up all sorts of plausible, interwoven storylines to fill plotholes in the gap between SsL and OSS for an imaginary MMO set on Jorvik before SSO even existed, and before I knew what an MMO is, and I continued to do so after starting to play SSO and could still logically put a lot together with all the new storylines and inconsistancies brought into the game.

It is still perfectly possible for SSE to make sense of it all, to show Pandoria as it truly is—not good or bad, but different, and deeply connected to the Soul Riders—and fit in the old aspects of the stories with the new.

As for Fripp, I know many dislike him—but he, too, is a being of Pandoria, and his concern is to fight a very specific evil (that is, Garnok, and his followers) and to protect Jorvik as well as his actual home, without having much understanding for every personal sensitivity of every single human being he works with, and who belong to a species he simply cannot really understand.

Pandoria is dangerous, but it is also endangered, and the Soul Riders are partly beings of Pandoria, their souls are connected to Pandoria, and the common enemy is of an entirely different nature altogether. Pandoria really shouldn’t be portrayed as safe or cute, but also not as a sort of evil otherworld, but as a connected, but different place of great importance, and with deep connection to the story and its actors, including the good and the bad.

Ideas / Theories / Suggestions / Whatever

maybe Pandoria got darker because its sun was darkened

Garnok and his Generals are also from a different planet and also of a different nature than Earth and Pandoria and maybe that could be important for future storylines, except I don’t know how

Mario is an astronomer and Ydris is an alien and I want to see how that plays out in the future

does it make difference to travel to Pandoria by actual space travel rather than through portals/rifts, and if yes, how?

really, what about Fripp’s physical state, and what could bringing him to Pandoria (I know he’s in exile) or bringing him something from Pandoria do to him (e.g. food, medicine, whatever)

what about Pandorian people, more Pandorian people, especially horse people

I still wonder if those Pandorian horsepeople work like Egyptian gods—maybe they don’t have human bodies with horse heads, but can actually appear as humans or horses—who would be seperated into a human and a horse on Earth

[littlebigafterdark]

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Feminism? (pt. 3)

 Back at it again with everyone’s favorite topic: Gender equality and the political mechanics that go into putting out positive media representations of it. Ok, no, but I am going to be talking about like, actually political topics in how feminism is divided and characterized with feminist history, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it! Just might be a bit of a history lesson too.

I want to start by addressing SSO’s very first statement on this matter, because I think it’s important. When SSO launched, they said they weren’t going to add male playable characters because they wanted to make a space for women. And I talked about this in my genderlocking piece, but that still strikes a cord with me and I think we need to have that discussion. It shouldn’t be the final discussion, but it should be a discussion.

Media predominantly is genderlocked to males. Typically when a game is genderlocked to women, it’s either for very young kids kids OR it’s lewded for the (largely) male audience. And so there is something to be said about SSO being a game that is unapologetically in the feminine aesthetic focused on being a game for all ages that is about women. And I think that the conversation needs to be had that it is almost always these games like SSO where we see outcry about genderlocking and the expectation to uphold gender equality, but not so for games targeted at the male audience, or at least not nearly as loudly. And yes, the feminist movement has been the leading proponent of gender equality for all genders, but the expectation for only products aimed largely at a female audience to be held to a fully gender equal standard is in it of itself a double standard that we need to address. And while I feel for trans-men and non-binary folx being misgendered in SSO, I do think we need to acknowledge that better and hold the whole industry to a better standard on the matter, not just games like SSO.

That said, ending the discussion there is second-wave feminism. We are in intersectional feminism and the end point of intersectional feminism IS that all genders need to be equally represented. And so where that discussion does need to be had, and I think SSO should push it, it can’t end there. SSO needs to move forward with including more gender options when they have their character remodel and it can’t include genderlocking, because all companies need to do this if they don’t have fixed characters you’re playing as. Gender identity is important, and even if they can’t do neo-pronouns yet because of translation issues, having at least she/he/they as options should be the baseline moving forward and we should make sure all companies are held to that standard.

That said, I want to be fair and present solutions that have reasonable production turnarounds for the near future. The player remodel is years in the works, longer for the more gender options you have. So what can SSO do now?

First of all, pronoun tags. Even if the model doesn’t get updated yet, adding customizable pronoun tags that you can change anytime you want for the PC and set for horses is an important start that relies on technology already in the game.

While they’re at it putting in the coding for quests and generally doing another pass on quests since recent retcons have cut some things and left a few quests feeling a little jarring, start seeding that being a Soul Rider is a position you can earn and it’s not limited to the four Soul Riders we know now. Have the narrative actively challenge the traditions of the Keepers into being more inclusive as a narrative that needs to happen on gender equality with kids and teens.

One big step in this direction would be to make Justin a Soul Rider when he goes to South Hoof and connects with the Singing Yew. Expand the understanding of magic and introduce these questions early enough on that we start questioning what it means to be a Soul Rider as the Keepers insist on the traditional Soul Rider unit and where magic comes from and then follow up by traveling with Justin as he comes to terms with his new powers and his relationship with his mother and his recent choices to be someone who does good and THAT’s what a Soul Rider is following the Catherine journals. Use this to support Concorde being a mare and that not just being a bad plot hole and talking about this being about the soul and dedication and not just destiny and genderlocks.

I’ve already talked about this, but it is so important to move away from the current Soul Riders and introduce new ones. I love the main four, but as long as they are so central to the plot, the Soul Riders remain this reminder of a traditional centralized female led group. So while they should remain active agents in the story, we need to move towards recruiting more characters of more gender identities and make them active agents central to the story.

Not to mention, breaking down the Soul Rider being a limited four person unit makes way more sense for an MMO narrative and it opens it up to telling stories with your friends and other players in game without bending over backwards with canon. So like, by making these changes not only to you become more inclusive, but you also set up the groundwork for better game design in a multiplayer aspect.

I think the last easy thing SSO could do is add a choice of head accessory the player gets for free at the start of the game. None of these items give stats anyway, so it’s just a choice of a free option until the player models are redone. This way instead of just the helmet, players could choose between a pair of glasses, a head scarf, a hearing aid, a beard, and a mustache. All of these options should be free to pick up in Moorland so you can double/if you missed out, you can get them. But it’s a free way to add basic customization for people of multiple different walks with features mostly already in the game. Combined with pronouns, it’s a solution SSO could implement now to the game without a lot of coding.

And that’s everything for now. This topic is always going to be dynamic but it’s important to be had. Just be practical with the implication. Some of these are easier to add than others. An accessory shop could probably be added in a month using assets already in the game, but even updating pronouns would take months on the low end. Not to mention going back through the whole story to seed other gender changes. Push for change, always, but try to give steps that are achievable in the meantime.

[salty-medley]

SSO - analyse of the crafting system by an enthusiastic crafter.

I mean enthusiastic on other MMORPGs. But was the loooong wait for crafting to appear in SSO worth it ?

- Crafting = farming

That’s the first point you need to know. SSO is one of the only games which doesn’t have a HV system ( I used the french acronym here, I guess it’s called a market or a saleroom in english ). For those who don’t understand the concept, it’s a place in a game where the players sell their things to other players, so if you like crafting but not farming your ingredients, you can basically buy it here. Same for the NPCs shops, you can’t find any ingredient to buy. So the only option you have to craft is gathering ingredients.

The farming system is pretty simple: you have vague hints about the possible places where each type of plant grow, and you’ll have to roam a bit everywhere to find golden sparkles indicating you that a plant is here. Don’t expect the map to show it fully, you can only have a small blue symbol on the small round map when you’re close to the plant.

It’s good ? Yes, if you like to run on the map without any logic, it’s more by pure luck than anything else. But it can keep you busy, even if it’s not interesting.

It’s bad ? Also yes. For a reason already said, it’s dull and empty. Ok, there’s indications for finding the places, but you can’t say it’s something which required to think. And you can’t grow the plants by yourself. If the maps were full of aggressive foes or bigger it would have a sense to have to travel and find it, but here just put it in a garden, you’ll have the same result.

- Crafting itself

It’s quite different from what they had accustomed us to, and not in a very good manner. You certainly remember that many times before, we had to craft an item or cook in SSO. The idea was that you had to move, find items, gather it and all of that with a time. I really thought that it will be the same for the crafting as it was something already implemented in the game. But no, for “unknown” reasons they simplified it and you only have to click on the recipe to craft it. Ok the animation is kinda... Cute ? You’re making smoke and hold a purple light... Yeaaaah that’s surely how you craft candles, people. 

It’s good ? The idea of having to craft many things to make another one is a good thing, if you really wants something you have to put a little amount if time in it instead of simply buying.

It’s bad ? Well, also yes I’m afraid. Like I said, we already had something close to crafting which was more challenging so why making something else and something more simple ? The idea of crafting is to keep busy the players, and here it does not.

- The items & the ideas

It’s a full collection, which is something good as SSO has a history of making things which aren’t matching together, thing that they tend to correct with their new designs and it’s a really good thing. There’s several levels with different colors, which is ok. The stats are nice. It’s the more natural modern version of the druidic clothing we already had, with a slightly different form.

It’s good ? If you like the druidic/western style ( another thing I don’t understand why druids = western ? It’s too different styles and cultures ) and more unsaturated colors, you’ll be happy. If you wanted something else, well... Don’t expect that much as, unlike other MMORPGs, you only have one style that you can craft.

It’s bad ? Just like I said before, it’s not diversified. And I personally don’t like the vegan leather thing, we should have an option to hunt for real leather, on pandorian foes for example. 

So, overall the idea of crafting and farming was a good idea. It’s something which really gave the occasion to appreciate what we are wearing, as we took time to make it. The whole process was a nice idea but like lot of things in that game, it’s very poorly made. I’m not a fan of the designs, it should me more varied in term of forms and colors mostly. The fact we don’t have to farm leather was really boring, and I’m not fan of the message behind it but in a certain way, it fits Farah so it remains half-ok. It’s not that bad, but definitely needs to be re-worked.

[dorianwolfforest]

I’m gonna speak on the whole “Changing Syntax to be NB instead of making a new NB character for LGBTQ representation is bad” thing bc I’m... Having emotions.

Let me start off by saying I am Nonbinary and I have identified as such for four years now. Let me continue by saying I fully support the decision SSO has made.

Star Stable Online is not a finished product. You can’t look at it and expect everything to be complete. They’re working on it every week, revisiting old things and transforming them to better suit whatever situation or environment they’ll be put in. If SSO hasn’t completed their game they are allowed to change things, just like any creator is allowed to change their work in progress. SSO just does it very very publicly every week.

When you first start designing a character, that character will not fully be fleshed out. You will go back and forth between so many things, one of which being gender because you learn and grow and you want to add more depth to them or you want them viewed from a different perspective. That’s a normal, healthy thing to do and it’s a good way to create a diverse cast. I’m sure anyone who’s gone through any kind of creative process will know just how long it takes and what a painful process it is to find a complete character.

I went a full year thinking the main character of mine and my ex’s game would be a man, until my ex came out to me as trans and since the character was based on her, we changed the character to also be a transwoman. But since our game hadn’t been released “unfinished” like SSO is, you wouldn’t see that change. When you see that character, she will always have been trans. Changing someone’s gender is not a situation unique to SSO, you just see it a lot clearer since it’s happening in real time.

Working like SSO is a blessing and a curse. You’re allowed to grow and develop, but you’re not finished and therefor don’t have a way to definitively say “This is the way it is”. You also show every single change to your players and have no way to hide that your previous version of that character was flawed and unfinished, which leaves them open to criticism like this. 

Personally I don’t think they changed Syntax’ gender to get some cheap LGBTQ+ representation, I just genuinely think they found a way to flesh out a pretty basic NPC that is going to become even more important in future updates and they ran with it, just like any game developer would.

Anyway I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m prone to support SSO and I often defend them when I feel like I should so please don’t take my word as any sort of law, since I am incredibly biased.

[our-smooty]

Wilting Roses

Fandom: Good Omens

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley

Tags: Pining, Mutual Pining, Bad coping mechanisms, Drinking, Love Confessions

Summary: No one, if asked to describe Anthony J Crowley, would use the word patient. Flash maybe, flamboyant for sure, possibly even mischievous. But not patient. Crowley was the type of person to honk his horn one second after the light turned green, the type to roll his eyes when the person in front of him at the coffee shop dared to order something more complicated than the bare basics. He was always moving, swaying, fidgeting with something or other and anyone who knew him knew that.

No one, if asked to describe Anthony J Crowley, would use the word patient. Flash maybe, flamboyant for sure, possibly even mischievous. But not patient. Crowley was the type of person to honk his horn one second after the light turned green, the type to roll his eyes when the person in front of him at the coffee shop dared to order something more complicated than the bare basics. He was always moving, swaying, fidgeting with something or other and anyone who knew him knew that.

Not that there were many people who really knew him. The other demons in Hell knew him in the vaguest sense, like co-workers who’ve worked in different departments for 6000 years. Oh sure some of them felt they knew him, had him figured out, but that was all based on what Crowley wanted them to think. He submitted reports that were more lie than truth--which really, they should have expected as he was a demon--and carefully cultivated his persona as a confident, irreverent bastard and Hell fell for it.

No the only person who knew him well enough to speak on his actual personality was the angel. Not at first, in the beginning, but after a few thousand years one could say Aziraphale knew the demon better than anyone else and even he would have described Crowley as impatient. He was always speeding around London, trying to get where they were going as fast as possible. He watched Crowley, time and time again, drink his tea or coffee before it was cooled enough, burning his tongue. More than once Aziraphale had had to ask him to “settle down, dear boy, you look like you’re going to crawl out of your skin!”.

So he probably would have called Crowley patient either. But that wasn’t entirely true. In fact, Crowley may have been the most patient creature on God’s green earth. Because for 6000 years he’d been waiting, and pulling back, and reigning himself in. It was only natural that after all that time, things would spill over eventually, wasn’t it?

Crowley and Aziraphale were, as was usual for any given night of the week, sharing a bottle of wine in the backroom of the bookshop. They’d had dinner, and spent most of the morning going through the new books Adam had added to the shelves. Crowley had found a kids corner--that certainly hadn’t been there before-- in the back west bit of the shop and had spent hours teasing Aziraphale over the cutsie tiny chairs and shelves.

The wine was good and the company even better. Aziraphale wasn’t drunk yet, but Crowley was well on his way, his glass barely half empty before he was refilling it. There was a brittleness to the demon, a nervousness that was unwarranted based on the relaxed day they had had together that hadn’t been there when he was sober. It was only six months after The End that Wasn’t, so Aziraphale could understand some of the skittishness, but it was entirely out of character for the normally confident Crowley.

Aziraphale loved Crowley’s confidence. He loved Crowley, period. He just hadn’t admitted it to himself until quite recently. After the bombing in WWII he’d felt love so strong for the demon that it hadn’t been possible to ignore it anymore. But, honestly, he’d probably loved Crowley since the beginning, when he’d spoken to him and joked with him in a way nobody ever had. Which made it all the worse that they could never be together.

Because just thinking about what Hell would do to the demon if they found out was enough to put him off eating for weeks.

So it was understandable that Crowley’s discomfort was upsetting to Aziraphale. “You seem unsettled,” he observed, watching as Crowley filled his glass once again. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Noooo,” Crowley said, his voice going high-pitched as he lied. “Nothing at all, angel!”

“Are you sure?” Aziraphale cast a glance to the bottles on the table. “You’ve had quite a lot to drink.”

“S’not that much,” Crowley snarked, gesturing with the cup. Not a drop spilled, but Aziraphale knew that after a few more Crowley would forget to be so careful.

“Those are three of my best bottles from 1920.” Crowley leaned in and actually looked at the bottle, raising an eyebrow and nodding.

“You’ve got me there,” the demon admitted guiltily. “Ssstill doesn’t mean anythings wrong.”

The thing was, Aziraphale remembered a lot of other times that had been just like this. Times when Crowley would get skittish and cranky for no discernible reason. They were often followed by long periods of silence where he wouldn’t hear a peep from him. Sometimes for decades. Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he could handle not seeing the demon for 20 years, not after what they’d been through.

“Oh really, dear. I think I know you better than that!”  Crowley laughed hoarsely and Aziraphale was reminded of Nanny Ashtoreth, with her sharp wit and dry humour.

“Ssure you do, angel,” he rasped, voice rough with alcohol and something else Aziraphale couldn’t pin down. “Cause you’re sso clever. Nothing gets passt you, does it?”

Aziraphale might not be the quickest when it came to sarcasm, but Crowley was exceptionally drunk and very obvious. “I feel like you don’t really mean that, dear. Is there something I’ve missed?”

Crowley lept up unsteadily to pace the backroom floor. He only stopped when he nearly toppled one of the angels’ “to read” piles. “You can’t not know. Everything I’ve done… ssso many yearsss--”

Of course Aziraphale knew, wanted, and dreamed, but he never allowed himself to hope. “Whatever it is, I apologize for it, Crowley. You must know I’d never hurt you on purpose.”

But that just made Crowley more agitated. “Oh of coursess. Because the angel would never, could never, do anything not angelic!”

“You aren’t making any sense!” Aziraphale shouted, getting frustrated. “If you would just tell me--!”

“You sshould already know!”

Silence followed the ringing intensity of Crowley’s voice, only broken by the demon’s heavy breathing. Aziraphale gaped at the other; Crowley had never, not once in 6000 years, raised his voice at him. The demon was more the kind to get quiet when he was angry, to hiss and snap instead of yelling. Though apparently, Aziraphale had been wrong, and when pressed, Crowley could explode just like anyone else.

“You alwayss pull away and I--I accepted that ‘caussse I know I’m too--I’m too much,” Crowley hissed, his hands coming up and gripping at his own hair. “I thought I could--thingss could stay the sssssame but--”

It was all Aziraphale needed to hear, for him to finally admit he was being a coward and ignoring the obvious. Yes, he had hurt Crowley again and again and he knew it, had been lying to himself. Because an angel couldn’t possibly cause that much pain to a creature of God, even if he was a demon. That didn’t seem to matter because Aziraphale had been so busy denying his feelings and trying to be the perfect angel, that he’d been hurting Crowley for nearly 6000 years.

“I can’t--I tried and it’ss been ssssix months--but I can’t angel,” Croley sobbed into his own knees. Not 10 minutes ago they’d been chatting about visiting Adam, and the Them in Tadfield next month. Crowley had seemed tense but Aziraphale would have never guessed this deep of a hurt was hidden within his friend. Now he knew.

“I’m g-going. I wanted to tell you--if you need me. You can call and I’ll come but I’m going, Aziraphale.”

The angel’s breath caught in his chest. Where would Crowley go? America, or somewhere farther? The thought of Crowley floating through Alpha Century alone and lost was piercing.

“Crowley,” he started, his voice shaking, “ Oh Crowley I’ve been so cruel to you.” He stood and walked the few meters over to stand in front of the demon. He was still wearing his glasses, though he’d shed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his button-down. Aziraphale was, as usual, still properly dressed, though his tie was loose. Now, he fiddled with that hanging fabric as he tried to compose himself.

Crowley, in the meantime, was already refuting the angel’s statement. “No, no it’sss nothing I don’t deserve. I jussst can’t…” Crowley shied away, physically leaning backward to create distance while his drunken legs stayed put.

“No, no. Dearest Crowley, will you please sober up so I know you will remember this?” Crowley shuddered and some of the bottles refilled, though not fully. Aziraphale knew Crowley was probably still intoxicated, but not to the point of blacking out. It would have to do.

“Don’t make this harder, angel,” Crowley rasped, clutching at his shirt just above his heart. “Let me go, please.”

And if Aziraphale was less greedy, he might have. But he always had been a bit of a bastard who couldn’t let go of the things that were his. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been so blind, so selfish. If you never forgive me I’ll understand but I want you to know that you are the most important thing in my life and that I will do everything in my power to make the last 6000 years up to you.”

He wasn’t sure how he expected Crowley to react, but complete silence was definitely not one of the options he’d imagined. A sharp come back, or tears even; Crowley was always prone to emotional reactions. But this quiet Crowley was new and very, very still. So Aziraphale decided it was his turn to take the first step.

Slowly, so the demon could see his every move and pull away if needed, the angel reached out. As carefully as he could he used soft fingers to unclench Crowley’s own from his shirt and hold them Aziraphale’s chest. With strength far beyond what his corporation would have had if he was human, he hauled Crowley up into a standing position. Crowley watched each movement with wide yellow eyes hidden behind tinted glass.

“I remember how, in the Garden, you spoke to me with such kindness, unlike anyone else ever had. And then, in Paris, and the Blitz, you saved me and I trampled on your feelings like… like they were nothing. You asked for the Holy water and I left you without even asking why you really wanted it, then when I did give it to you I accused you of moving too fast. Crowley, I’ve been stringing you along for millennia, abusing your kindness and taking.”

They were closer now, though Crowley was still looking away. Aziraphale used one hand to gently guide the demon’s chin to face him. Their eyes met and Aziraphale wasn’t surprised to see a distinct wetness in Crowley’s. “I’d like to give you something this time. I don’t know if it will make up for so many years but--”

“Stop talking and kiss me, angel,” Crowley snapped, though his tone was breathy. Though his nerves were frayed, Aziraphale couldn’t stand to make the other wait any longer, so he closed the gap between them, slanting his own lips over Crowley’s and swallowing the whimper that escaped the demon.

Incredibly soft, and a little cool, and--Azirphale’s mind was spinning as he tried to catalogue every minute detail about the scene. Crowley pulled his hands from the angel’s grasp and Aziraphale was about to pull away when they returned to clutch at his back. The demon continued to make small, wounded noises as Aziraphale sucked on his bottom lip. Crowley tasted like wine and something smokey. It was lovely and the angel couldn’t help himself. He just had to dip his tongue inside to get a better taste.

“Aziraphale…” Crowley moaned, his knees going weak which forced him to hold onto the angel for dear life. “Ngh.”

“Oh, terribly sorry dearest. Let's just move you to the settee, there you go,” Aziraphale fussed, practically dragging Crowley onto the furniture. Not that the demon was resisting, he was as boneless as his snake form suggested. He let himself be draped over one side of the settee, then arranged into position as Aziraphale got comfortable. The angel was seated as closely as possible, an arm draped over the demon’s knees with the other playing in his auburn hair.  

“Is that better?” he asked lowly, his lips close the Crowley’s ear. The demon shivered, goosebumps breaking out over his skin at their closeness. Aziraphale admired the reaction with a fond smile. “Lovely.”

Crowley flipped so his head fell under the angel’s chin, his legs interlocking with the others. “Is this a dream?”

A soft, slightly sad chuckle. “No dear, it isn’t. I’m very much here with you, and I’m not leaving.”

“S’a really real dream,” Crowley mumbled, drifting off. Aziraphale would argue with him about the realness of reality when he woke up. He may be more willing to hear the angel out after getting a good rest.

If Aziraphale had expected it to be easy to undo 6000 years of rejection and distance, he had been extremely niave. Crowley still had a tendency to distance himself, like a defence mechanism against a thousand past hurts. Aziraphale went out of his way to show his love explicitly, to care for and pamper him at every opportunity. But it didn’t seem to be enough.

Within just a few days of their mutual sharing of feelings, Crowley began to close himself off again, to hide behind snark and self-deprecating humour. He still let Aziraphale hold him, spoil him with praise and presents. But he never reached back, didn’t ask for or give affection unless Aziraphale moved first. Like he was still scared he’d be rejected. Which, considering the way Aziraphale had treated him in the past, was an extremely concern valid.

At first, the angel had thought Crowley wanted space. But then he’d noticed how content the demon seemed when Aziraphale put an arm around him on the street or tucked a strand of hair behind his ear when they were reading together. He definitely wanted the attention, but he seemed unable to reciprocate, even if sometimes the angel caught Crowley with a look like he wanted to so badly.

But how to bring it up? Aziraphale hadn’t wanted to just spring it on the other, but it wasn’t like Crowley was going to say anything. He was stuck. So as usual, when he had a problem he couldn’t solve, he turned to reading, fretting, and snacking. Which worked for a little bit before he remembered the way Crowley always kept at least a foot of space between them unless Aziraphale closed the gap. Then he was back at square one.

That pattern could have gone on for quite some time, had Crowley not begun to put even more distance between them. That one-foot gap became two, then three, and then it was almost like that night a week ago hadn’t happened. Crowley kept his distance much more firmly than in the beginning, to the point where Aziraphale could barely get close enough to hold hands without a mad dash. And when he did get the chance to hold the demon, he always made this tiny sound, a sad sigh that sounded like relief. That was when the angel knew he had to say something.

The time came one night while they were, for once, at Crowley’s flat having a glass of wine. Aziraphale had stopped by unannounced, though he knew that didn’t matter. Crowley invited him in with only token protests again as usual and Aziraphale had procured them a bottle of Bordeaux and two glasses.

“So to what do I owe the pleasure, Angel?”  he’d asked, draping himself over one of the austere chairs in his equally austere livingroom. Tension rippled through every part of his being, his aura a spikey, sickly grey. Aziraphale noted the lack of a sofa or any seating that would allow them to be close with a soft sigh.

“Just thought I’d pop in. I found this lovely vintage on one of the back shelves of my cellar and I knew you’d appreciate it.” Deciding to get to the bottom of this once and for all, Aziraphale walked around behind Crowley’s chair and leaned in close. “Do you remember that year, darling?”

Crowley squinted at the bottle, his shoulders mildly tensed from their suddenly close proximity. “1959, you spoil me, angel.”

“You deserve only the best, Crowley,” Aziraphale murmured, letting the bottle fall carefully into the demon’s lap.

“Hm?” Crowley asked as Aziraphale leaned down, nuzzling against firey hair. As usual, Crowley didn’t shy away from the touch, but there was that little sigh like he’d been waiting. Aziraphale tightened his hold around the demon’s shoulders guiltily. He really should be taking better care of him.

“I’ve missed you, dearest,” Aziraphale hummed, stretching over to kiss Crowley’s forehead. Crowley frowned in confusion and twisted around to look the angel in the eye.

“You saw me yesterday, not even 24 hours ago,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. A few more soft kisses and Aziraphale pulled back, setting the bottle of wine on a side table. He knew he was making Crowley uncomfortable; the demon never did like not knowing what was about to happen. Better to get things done quickly, and avoid any undue stress.

“I did, but I always miss you when you’re away from me. Besides, you know that isn’t what I meant.” Crowley’s face furrowed in confusion, so maybe he didn’t. “You’ve been--Am I overwhelming you, Crowley? It’s just you’ve been distant…”

“No!” Crowley interjected, immediately twisting around to fully face Aziraphale. “No, no, angel it’s not that, I swear.”

Aziraphale let out a relieved sigh of his own. “Oh good, I was quite worried.” He rewarded Crowley’s honesty with a soft kiss on the lips. “Will you tell me what the problem really is? I hate that you--I want you to be comfortable with me.”

Crowley tried to lean into the kiss, encouraging it to turn into something needier. But Aziraphale held firm, pulling back and waiting for Crowley to answer. It was harder than expected--once he started kissing Crowley it was nearly impossible to stop--but he managed for the greater good of their relationship.

Initially, Crowley mumbled his answer so badly Aziraphale couldn’t understand a word of it. With a raised eyebrow and a gentle squeeze around the shoulders, he encouraged the demon to try again. “I didn’t--I don’t want to move to fast for you. I know I’m a lot and that you don’t really... Well, I know you don’t want me all over you all the time so I thought it’d be better like this.”

Aziraphale was shocked; where had Crowley gotten that idea? You go too fast for me. Oh well, maybe this was the angel’s fault, even if he’d never meant for it to happen.

“Love, that was over 40 years ago. And I should have never--well the blame is entirely on me for this it would seem.” With cautious movements, Aziraphale walked around to stand in front of the chair, facing Crowley head-on. “I should apologize for not making my intentions clear, for not just bloody talking about it!.”

Crowley continued to stare at the floor as Aziraphale continued. “You do not go too fast for me Crowley. Well, you do when you’re driving but not in that other way.” Bending down to rest his palms on Crowley’s knees, Aziraphale made sure to catch his gaze. “I was scared of what Heaven and Hell might do, but not anymore. We don’t have to be afraid anymore, dearest.”

But Crowley was shaking his head, his golden eyes darting away and around the room. “I don’t know how! So many years, sso many times you said--Not that I blame you--”

“Love, you’ve been so patient,” Aziraphale praised, his smile cutting off the other’s tirade. He took one of his hands and used it to cup Crowley’s cheek, cradling it reverently. “You deserve to get what you’ve been wanting all these years. I want to give that to you.”

Cautiously, his eyes still averted, Crowley reached out and placed his hand on Aziraphale’s cheek, mirroring the angel’s position. It was the first time the demon had touched him since that initial night. “This’s stupid, I’m sstupid!” Aziraphale noticed his lover’s eyes were damp, and his lip caught between sharp teeth. Obviously, Crowley’s distress was more intense than he’s realized.

“You’re lovely, and so, so good,” he whispered, nuzzling against the hand on his cheek. “I want to spend every day for all eternity holding you and having you hold me.”

Crowley’s hand was trembling, but he didn’t remove it. He actually seemed to lean closer towards Aziraphale’s warmth. “M’still…” The angel let him struggle for a second before making a suggestion.

“Worried, relieved, scared?” he offered, unsurprised by Crowley’s shocked glance. “Me too love. I’m absolutely petrified.”

That got Crowley to laugh a little as he finally--finalyl!--brought his other hand up to pull the angel into a sweet embrace. Aziraphale couldn’t have felt more proud of his brave demon. Crowley always had been one to take risks, which just showed how much he cared for his relationship with Aziraphale. He’s been so cautious, so gentle, so patient for 6000 long years.

“Just in case I haven’t been clear enough,” Aziraphale muttered into Crowley’s hair, “you can touch me whenever you like and I will always enjoy it darling.”

“Ngk,” Crowley said, burrowing his face into the lapels of the angel’s coat so the angel couldn’t see his blush. “Don’t jusst say that!”

Aziraphale laughed, high and bright and he switched to holding his demon around the waist. He could feel the despair and isolation bleeding from Crowley’s aura, replaced with contentment and peace. Not to mention the elation the angel felt at having Crowley reciprocate his affections. The plants in the next room over began to bloom and grow at a rate never before seen on earth.

“You know I can’t lie to you Crowley.” That just made the demon squirm more. Impulsively, Aziraphale stood up and put his knees beside Crowley’s, sitting in his lover’s lap. Crowley grunted in surprise but kept his hold on Aziraphale’s shoulders. “I’m not too heavy, am I?”

“You’re perfect, Aziraphale,” Crowley answered, his voice muffled by layers of clothing. Aziraphale settled in more, getting comfortable for what he hoped would turn into a nice, long cuddle. The red wine he’d brought over could sit out for a while without any harm. And Crowley seemed to agree because he sighed, this time with happiness. It would be nice, for once in 6000 years, to have nothing to do other than enjoy each other's company.

And when they did go to visit Tadfield, if, in the middle of a tea party consisting of a variety of beings and types of people, Crowley took Azirapahle’s hand in his as easy as breathing? Well, Aziraphale could blame his misty-eyed smile on the absolutely delicious biscuits and jam.

[vinkumakkara]

The whole Lupin gang + Zenigata, for that character ask thing (sorry I couldn’t decide on just one lol)

already did Zenigata n Fujiko sso Lupin, Jigen & Goemon (altho how dare u separate Zenigata from them anon i will not allow this)

First impression

Lupin: im not sure but i do remember reading some manga... encyclopedia... thing that called him a “Golgo 13 parody” and i have literally never ever seen anyone else call him that. ever. that book was really bad

Jigen: wow cool character design!

Goemon: he def stuck out to me as fucking weird  lol the anachronism just makes him so memorable

Impression now

Lupin: i WILL kick his teeth in and napalm his dick off. also no one fucking does him right anymore

Jigen: wow cool character design! also he definitely represents a character archetype that i love in a lot of other media (that good ol Johnny Gat supporting role) and i like thinking about how he interacts with other characters way more than anything else but hes just like pleasantly... there. hes cool i just like him

Goemon: I LIKE HIM TOO but i find it really hard to like actually utilise him? i think i need to watch more Goemon centric stuff. does it exist or does he essentially just get the Zenigata treatment

Favorite moment

Lupin: whenever he gets his shit handed to him

Jigen: when he’s the instigator of the above

Goemon: whenever he betrays his serious exterior and shows what a goddamn moron he is. god he’s almost even worse than Lupin when it comes to women (sorry my Goemon observations are baby level obvious stuff)

Idea for a story

secrets

Unpopular opinion

idk i guess im not too big into the big happy poly family stuff beyond Lupin fucking basically everyone. they’ve all got different relationship dynamics and i dont consider all of them to be romantic

Favorite relationship

Favorite headcanon

sorry i kinda ran outta steam im just gonna go with my most recent “Lupin actually changes his jacket color almost every day”

[thinhmints]

My Top Ten Films:

Films in the year 2018 that I’ve seen in no particular order of rank.

ANNIHILATION 🧬

- Say what you want about this film but I thought it was one of the most visual AND original film of this year (maybe ahead of its time for those that says the story was convoluted or too pretentious). The sci-fi CGI effects and wonders is backed up with the story’s challenging themes that will definitely make you think to the end. And as a bonus, it’ll make you see bears in a whole, new scarier way. If you’re a fan of Ex Machina (same director), then you’ll like this one.

LOVE, SIMON 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

- I’ve actually read the book before planning to see this film but didn’t want to come in watching it with high expectations. However, the characters’ relationships and their interactions with one another is what really sold me when I saw it in theaters. Acting well-rounded from just about everyone casted in it and a nicely done dialogue speech from Jennifer Garner that will leave any LGBTQ person in tears (a la Michael Stuhlbarg’s speech in Call Me by Your Name). I saw myself in the main character and that’s very rare nowadays, sso believe they hype when I say representation truly does matter.

ISLE OF DOGS 🐕

- A charming and cute story much like any charming and cute dog films out there, except it’s done in a Wes Anderson animation style that only Anderson can only achieve! Movies are flashy and evidently clear that it took a million dollars to make but this one goes on my list just for the art of simplicity.

A QUIET PLACE 🤭

- This was a movie that sold me on the trailer alone and I was not disappointed. Keeps you on the edge of your seat and surprisingly emotional. I’ve read people’s comments how there’s plot holes and the ending fell flat (which it does, but that’s basically what a cliffhanger does???). However, it’s still worth watching and enjoying if you watch if for what it is and don’t point out all the small details. I give it high praise just for originality and the Hitchcock-esque suspense.

INCREDIBLES 2 👶🏼

- It doesn’t feel right having a top ten list without a Pixar movie in it. I have to say this one was worth the wait so it’s good for the younger and older crowds! There’s always some sort of weary and dread about a sequel film and the comparison to it’s presuccessor but like I said before: ENJOY IT FOR WHAT IT IS.

A STAR IS BORN 🎤

- I might be biased by having this movie on my list due to my love of Lady Gaga (and how people assume this is just a movie about Lady Gaga’s fame to claim) but it’s hard to ignore it when a movie seem to have it all by Academy Awards standards: acting, emotional story, death, catchy music and of course the most important: a dog. I can see this one sweeping the awards come award season but it should be as of no surprise. The chemistry between Gaga and Cooper is one for the books. And who knew Cooper can act and direct?!

BEAUTIFUL BOY 💊

- This film was a real tearjerker, and while there’s a lot of other films about drug addiction, this one shows the most rawest and honest portrayal in my opinion. It tackles not only a serious subject matter but questions whether it is harder for the person with the addiction or the ones around them affected by it as well. Incredible performances but incredibly depressing at a harrowing life of a young person that may not want to be saved at all.

SEARCHING / CRAZY RICH ASIANS 💻 / 🤑

- Believe me when I say representation really does matter as we were blessed this year for having not only an Asian lead actor but also a predominately Asian cast! Hence, why both are worthy of sharing a spot on this list of mine. Searching is a mystery thriller with a surprise twist but more important, characters that we take the time to know and invest in. On the flip side if you’re looking for a more lightened whole hearted comedy then Crazy Rich Asians is for you with equally lovable characters.

LOVELING / ROMA 🇧🇷 / 🇲🇽

- Both these films share a common theme (besides them being foreign films) which is the bond of family and how strong it is when tested over complicated obstacles. Ironically enough, I saw Loveling at Sundance on the big screen, whereas Roma I watched on Netflix on my laptop. Regardless, they put a heavy impact on me because of its charm and warmth of each family member but also the social settings and working class both where families struggle but tries to make the best of.

THE FAVOURITE 👑

- I’m quite shocked (to say the least for a Yorgos Lanthimos film) that this was better than I thought it would be from what seems like a period film centering three female leads. More importantly, all three female lead shines on their own way who tries to dominate one another, but in all honesty, out-gay each other to put it bluntly (and if that’s not enough of a recommendation to go see it, then I don’t know what).

HEREDITARY 😱

- Just when I thought horror films today have lost its touch, Hereditary made me reconsider. It is a horror film that’s is not for everyone since it’s not the conventional formulaic horror film but I think that’s what makes it so refreshing from the other bad ones out there because it doesn’t require loud music and sudden jerk noises/movements to make you sense when something scary is about to happen. It just is. And as a bonus, Toni Collette sold her role and should deserves all the award accolades.

Honorable Mentions:

- Thoroughbreds

- A Simple Favor

- Sicario: Day of the Soldado

- Ready Player One

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQhsvkEfg3w

*Busts through the wall*

Hello Muffin Man Dan. It's been some time since you’ve entered into my sights huh?

So you wanna try and fight now? Fine then, let’s see if you can even begin to challenge me then.

“This video is a huge video project I’ve been working on with multiple RWBYtubers helping out.”

So that means, by how you treat the CRWBY, you’re not allowed a single mistake or misstep.

Good to know Dan.

Chapter 1: Flaws of RWBY

So Dan, with a target this fucking huge and easy to hit, surely you can do have a percentage of at least 10% valid arguments nd not just throw a bunch of shit at the wall and pretend you did something great when one out of a hundred pieces sticks to the wall right?

… NOPE!

Dan doesn’t even make ONE valid argument. The man had a bullseye the size of Texas and somehow managed to miss it while also shooting himself in the head.

His first arguments consists of him saying ‘Well, you were supporting a small company and a fledgling show before so being positive about them then was okay!’ … You know, ignoring how RT was being supported by the creators of HALO, had made the internet sensation Red Vs. Blue for ten years to this point, Monty had made Haloid and Dead Fanatsy among other things ect. Everyone EXCEPT the writers (you know, the people you attack the most) had experience before this so by your own argument you’re wrong. Not to mention the fact that not only didn’t stop assholes from attacking the first  two Volumes but the first two Volumes are STILL what you need to get through in order to get to the latter more professional Volumes so it STILL affects the show long after Rt has grown.

This all ignoring the NUMEROUS fans who started the show after Monty died and had no nostalgia or bias for the man to sustain them unlike you and they all almost UNANIMOUSLY agree the later Volumes are better. And before you try to argue that I’m using the fallacy of ‘Argument Ad Populum”: A. ‘Good’ is inherently subjective so the audience defines what is good and what isn’t. And B. You USE the audience in your argument later so you can’t exactly claim that with my argument without also destroying a latter argument of your own.’

He also tries to peddle off FloofArtist as someone whose trust worthy. For those of you who don’t know, FloofArtist’s beef with the creataors started when he asked Miles for info on Dust and Aura over TWitter and never got an answer...even though he went to an RTX beforehand and asked the CRWBY a question to their faces. The question? ‘How did Qrow get Pyrrha’s armor?’

So he basically pulled that nerd scene from the Simpsons. And then decides to get pissy when he doesn’t get answer on a social media site when the guy is doing something else. I ask, does that sound like someone who is intellectually honest? Or does that sound like someone who tries to put people into dishonest situations and would logically lie his ass off? Yeah Dan is basically saying ‘Oh you don’t know why this politician is bad, go watch CNN/Fox News!’

He then tries to say that ‘ever since V3, the fandom has generally agreed the fight scenes were missing something’ so, you know, he’s using the fanbase here to prove his point even though the same fandom contradicts him everywhere else and he’s gonna smack talk said fandom later on. Also the fanbase generally agrees the fight scenes got back on track in Volume 6 so uh, your point fails.

I could go into his talk about chorography but all he does is talk about interpolating, the neo vs. yang fight, some cuts and just generally does nothing wrong arguing.

And that’s it. This whole segment was supposed to be all about the flaws of the show and he made TWO points. Two points that were deader on arrival than Michael Jackson. Congrats Dan, you completely glossed over so many other issues that naming them all and explaining myself would take me longer than this video in a chapter named ‘Flaws with RWBY’ in a video supposedly a third talking about RWBY the show. Couldn’t even do the bare minimum huh Dan? Fucking pathetic.

Chapter 2: Unprofessionalism

Oh boy, am I gonna have fun here...

So he begins this off by showing a tweet from Lindsay that you can barely read where he claims she’s smack talking people who don’t like the ‘forced diversity’ in RWBY, saying that they’re the people giving them money. You know, ignoring the fact that not all of these people contribute to the show by buying merch, the show is FREE so no, just watching it doesn’t mean you support the show financially, they’re actively trying to strangle money from the creators by lying about them and using them for their political bullshit, you’re USING the fanbase to make this point (the same one you are smack talking and dare gonna smack talk) and this is Lindsay’s PERSONAL Twitter.

Oh an, not like Dan will go on HIS twitter to bitch about every single person who criticizes him, acting far worse than anything he shows here or will show, actively attacks his own critics individually and as a group and shows FAR FAR worse cases of what he’s bitching about.

He then goes onto say that the creators all live in an echo chamber and they lash out before returning to safety. So you know, basically everyone single one of the RWBY critic’s Twitters. No seriously, go onto any video made by a RWBY critic and treat them with 1/1000th of thee contempt and harshness they treat the CRWBY. You’ll end up on Twitter with a snap. So once again, Dan can’t even BEGIN to live up to his standards.

He then plays the Miles clip where he lashes out against critics of the show which seems bad..until you remember that Dan alone has accused them of abusing Monty, using their dead friend as a weapon against them, repeatedly lied about them, riled up his fans into attacking Miles and so much more. And again, this is JUST Dan. And THEN remember that when Dan gets called a single name, he goes on twitter to whine about it, calls everyone else names and then makes videos mocking them so he STILL has no right to say this shit.

He then tries to claim that everyone tells them the same shit which means he’s once again using the fanbase he smack talks for his point even as it contradicts him as damn near everyone loved Volume 6 and many have even said it’s the best Volume of RWBY.

He then tries to deflect criticism against him because he KNOWS he’s setting himself up for a roasting by saying ‘well. I’m criticizing rich people with attitudes so it’s okay!’ … which doesn’t work when you realize that I have about $7 to my name and he gets YouTube money every month and yet I’m still not allowed to criticize him. Even ignoring how fallacious this argument as it somehow means he’s above criticism even as he’s FAR worse in the EXACT same ways: not only does this apply to his OWN critics (you know, the gusy he treats worse than RT has ever done) but Dan is being EVEN MORE divisive than how he sees RT being.

He also tries to make some talk about how them being popular means they deserve to be criticized because betterment of society and our culture and celelbrities and blah blah blah. So basically, “I can ignore your humanity because you’re popular and you don’t act as my slave.” Once again, I only have under 200 followers and at my peak on my old blog I barely had around 500 whereas Dan has 10k subscribers and the people on reddit who criticize him probably have even LESS than me and yet he acts EVEN WORSE so...why should anyone listen to you?

He also tries to leech off the Vic situation by criticizing them for firing Vic. Let’s ignore how this is pandering to the anti-SJW people mobbing around this and look at it like this: Vic is the voice of Broly and Edward Elrich. Meaning he’s far more famous than Rooster Teeth. Sso by Dan’s own logic, they’re ALLOWED to do this stuff since Vic is more famous and more of a celebrity than the entire company. Great job Dan. Also he tries using the fanbase again. We already went over why he lost that right. Oh and uh if you look at Dan’s Twitter feed: ‘https://twitter.com/Obiwanjezz/status/1106810239418945537‘ ‘https://twitter.com/maidmeta/status/1081040501745188864‘ Oh look at what Dan retweeted. Hm, seems pretty damn contradictory to what Dan seems to be projecting. Almost like he’s just pandering to people with an irrational hate of RT to get an echo chamber around him...

Then he goes on and on about a bunch of barely connect bullshit about lesbian fetishists supporting the show just because ‘lesbians’ (even though so many praise Volume 6 without mention Bumbleby) and how even the most venerated RWBYtubers are sick of the show (only citing the lair Floof from before), R/RWBY agreeing with him (with him citing a post that utterly denies him because ‘durr I upvoted it’ even though you can CHANGE YOUR VOTE.) You know, bunch of bullshit that isn’t worth talking about.)

The he tries smack talking the entire RWBY reddit for slander and such (when the worst he’s gotten is accusations of datamining which he’s shown to be talking about) while hes accused the CRWBY of basically grave robbing and disgracing their dead friends work. Again, look in the damn mirror Dan.

Then he makes this big compliation of people in the reddit being sensitive...

Which I can blow out of the water in ONE blow:

Dan has made and removed from his channel no less than THREE videos on me alone.

A comment takes about a  minute to type. A video takes HOURS. So uh...yeah, pretty sure Danny boy here takes the cake.

So then Dan proceeds to say that the fandom is responsible for the ending of Volume 6 (so the fandom is responsible for one of the most conclusive endings to a Volume we’ve ever gotten? Maybe this fandom is worth saving after all!) because they’re all horny and need to fuck. (gee, strawman much?) Even though he’s thrown massive shits for not getting the same treatment.

Chapter 4 (guess I missed the chapter 3 mark. Meh): Representation.

I’m just gonna summarize this entire last part for you guys:

Strawman about entire fanbase liking Volume 6 = gay pandering (ignoring people like Unicorn of War again...)

Talks about homophobes

Leech off Vic

RT is desperate.

Gives doctored screenshots of tweets cutting out any context.

Contradictions (criticizes people for using memes are arguments while using memes as arguments).

And that’s it.

To which I respond by:

You’re the same guy whose going back against everything he’s said on his twitter about politics PRECISELY when it benefits you while you contradict yourself numerous times, your video devolves into pointless rambling and you destroy your own arguments.

Sounds like you’re the desperate one here.

Gee I wonder why? is it because the fanbase liked the Volume even without Bumbleby and you figured out you couldn’t rely on them to support your egotism anymore? Certainly explains your contradictory political stances and how you suddenly start talking about Vic and Adam just as the topics can net you an echo chamber to hide in and protect your ego.

And really, that goes to show why you fail on a fundamental level Dan. You have no convictions, no standards, no morals, no integrity to give substance to your words. Everything you’ve said here either contradicts what you say before or after/applies to you on a much greater scale. And really, your community is no better. You are all willing to throw away what you supposedly fight for and what you stand for when it becomes inconvenient for you, preaching values of self reflection, humility and improvement through criticism...all while failing to embody those values or give any meaning to them beyond lip service. 

Nothing about you feels real or genuine Dan. NONE of you assholes feel real or genuine in what you say or do because you’ve been proven to contradict yourself and betray your values when you need something. And thus, everything you and your friends do and say just becomes ‘Do as I say because I think I’m always right.’ 

And guess what Dan? People, especially the artistically attuned, don’t resonate or accept that. The people who actually care about RWBY, who want to see an artistic vision flourish and grow, sense your insincerity and ego and instinctively reject you because you accept your words would be to accept your toxicity into themselves. And look now. The CRWBY have earned back the fandom’s love and trust while your toxicity consumes you and all but your ilk abandon you to pastuers greater than you.

And it makes sense why you seem to hate RWBY on a fundamental level now because the show challenges people to grow and evolve, to become better people, to live up to their ideals, to prove themselves right. And before, RWBY never put those messages to the test. But now that it has, you reject it because it indirectly calls you out and your ego can’t take it. You can give lip service to quality, to artistic integrity and to Monty all you want now but it’s become certain what you actually mean.

It’s pretty damn pathetic to see you break down little by little over these past few months as you desperately try to bend the world to your vision only to get smacked in the face. And to be truthful, I‘m kind of proud of the fact that I played a pretty big part in your degradation as you crumbled more and more from the pressure I and eventually reality pushed on you. All while I continued to grow and evolve. Wanna know why?

Because I stuck to my ideals and morals.

I think it’s time I finished this little battle or ours for the most part. You’re no longer worth fighting. Just like RWDE for the most part has lost all it’s strength now.

So with this I say adieu. Come join the adults when you’re ready to grow up Dan.

[juni-ravenhall]

writings about juni as an oc

30 questions about Juni (with unnecessarily long answers), from this SSO OC asks posts except i just filled it all out in one go. i want to try developing her into a more detailed character just for fun so this seemed like the best way to start! i hadn’t decided anything about her besides “non-binary and pan” until starting to fill this out hahah, i just tapped into my jorvegian feels and went along with what felt right.

this is already stated on my “about” page but, to be clear, Juni is some kinda persona/OC thingy and not “me”, while having some traits and details inspired by my real self. (you can definitely get to know about me by reading this, but, it’s not me me.)

BASIC CHARACTER INFO (remember her details are not mine!) Name: Juni Ravenhall Age: around 18-20 i guess, don’t wanna make her too old to fit with the other characters in the story. Gender: non-binary / genderfluid?, but more or less OK with her female body, and she’s fine with any pronouns. Sexuality: panromantic pansexual.

1. What is their home stable in-game? Why?

South Hoof Peninsula (headcanon:ing that there is a home stable there, obviously) because it’s her home. While travelling she makes use of stables and accomodations anywhere, so some people know her in the places she stays over a lot (Valedale, Moorland, others).

2. Where do they actually live in Jorvik?

Her home is on South Hoof, although she doesn’t stay there for long periods of time anymore with all the travelling and adventures going on. She was born in Valedale, but was taken to South Hoof as a small child. (My headcanon is that there’s a few more people living on the peninsula than what’s shown in-game.) It’s worth noting she’s an orphan (or is she...?! *dun dun dun*) so she grew up without a biological family. (btw, that’s not just to be dramatic... I’m from an abusive home and parents mean nothing to me, so I wouldn’t be able to relate to her as much if I gave her some kind of normal, caring parents, I don’t know that stuff. I’d much rather she has no parents / doesn’t know her parents, than that she has to grow up with awful ones.)

3. Who is their favorite NPC?

Hmm, I would make up some OCs for her proper personal story, but out of the NPCs that exist..... (these are not all my favourites, just some of them that I think works well for her story.) - She knows everyone at South Hoof to some degree since she grew up there, I think she’s especially close with Jonas as a parent-figure of sorts, and of course, Madison. She helps the hermit and is on good terms with him. When Hugh moved there, she started making friends with him, I imagine they’ll get close as Juni really cares about animal rescue. - She's fairly close to Conrad, mix of mentor, friend and parent-figure. (He’s taught her more than what’s shown in canon, and she visits him anytime she’s staying in Moorland.) - She likes helping Agnetha and Björn with their garden projects so they have a friendly relation, though casual. It’s the kind of thing where she’ll stay over and help them for a few days, and at the end of the day they have cozy outdoor dinners outside the house, watching the sunset view from the cliff and smelling the roses. They probably get some great fresh food from around Silverglade. - I think she's somewhat friends with Ed at Wolf Hell Inn (or stays over and sees what crazy stuff he’s up to often enough). - She definitely likes Rania and like going out for rides with her, whether there’s a special cause or not. I forget the name of that crazy ranger girl... but she likes her and Alonso too. - She likes hanging out with Mario, and they’ll have picnics on the mountain or on top of the observatory after she’s been helping him out, watching the stars together (platonically). - She’s a wary friend of the Bobcats and Justin, like, they could be friends (since she’s at Moorland often enough) but they aren’t quite. I think she gets along with Josh (pole bending guy). - I was going to write about the soul riders and druids... but I think in my made-up headcanon, Juni's situation and role in the soul rider team would be different. I’ll have to think more about it.

4. Who is their Soul Steed? What breed are they? Do they have any markings or look different in some way from the in-game appearance you could give them?

Winterborn, a Jorvik Warmblood stallion (here’s his tag on my blog). He’s a brave and loving companion, thoughtful sometimes, a bit silly and spoiled sometimes. His bond with Juni is very strong. He probably does look a bit different in my headcanon but I’d have to draw/edit it to make a decision, so let’s leave that in the air for now...

5. What is their favorite location? (Ex, Hollow Woods, Greendale, Silverglade Manor Library) Why?

- South Hoof, as her adopted home, and because of the ancient and “wild and free” energy it has. She feels relaxed and at home there, and somehow connected to the magic of the land (even before she learns about magic). - Valedale and the surrounding areas like Hollow Woods, where she feels a nagging sense of nostalgia and belonging, a tingling mysterious feeling (similar but not the same as what she feels on South Hoof). She loves the flowers, buildings and nature there. - Moorland Forge, for Conrad. - Agnetha and Björn’s gardens. - Wolf Hell Inn, she likes it there and (as mentioned) she likes seeing what weird stuff Ed is up to. - Dino Valley, she loves the winter, the solitude, and the challenge of survival (she’s an adventurer after all). - Crescent Moon Village, just for how cozy it is, and the Mirror Marshes, for its beauty. There’s a lot of spots around New Hillcrest and Epona she likes in general too. - Goldenhills Valley, she loves the autumn colours and the ruins, and takes an interest in the witchcraft that she sees, starting to wonder what’s good and bad magic. - Cape West, a cute little village to visit now and then. - Jarlaheim, as a place to hang out and shop / rest, after a day of helping out with farm chores around the area. - Greendale, where it seems like faeries might pop out if you’re quiet enough. - Ydris’ circus, because she can’t help but get curious about it. (I love circus / fairground aesthetics personally... I’m one of those people who’s always loved clowns and everyone else is like “what?! clowns are creepy man!”) - Mistfall and Firgrove are places she likes both for the nature and buildings, but she doesn’t tend to stay there long. - The Observatory, and other spots high up with great views, like the shortcut between Firgrove and Valedale, and the secret path up the mountain in Firgrove, too. - Aideen’s Plaza in Jorvik City, a cozy and fun place when you need a break from the countryside, especially if there’s an event / festival / market going on. - Pandoria? -- there’s certainly something about it...

6. Who’s their favorite horse? Why?

I’m going to say Juni doesn’t own any other horse than Winterborn, at least at this time. (Obviously I have lots in-game but for this OC story it doesn’t really make sense, so let’s say the rest aren’t canon, haha. Maybe they’re horses she’ll own later in life.)

7. What are their powers? Are they stronger with one Circle over any of the others?

Hmm... I dunno, I have to think more about this one. I probably want to draw some pictures to figure out more about her relation to magic and Pandoria and all that.

8. What’s their usual style? Any favorite tack sets or color themes for them?

She likes all colours and likes putting together new outfits and tack sets of various styles, but some particular favourite colours are red and purple, and overall her style tends to be bold and graphic rather than soft or gentle. She can do soft and gentle too though, when she feels like it!

9. Thoughts about Jorvik City? How do they feel about Rania’s petition for a horse-friendly Jorvik City?

She likes it there (especially Aideen’s Plaza as mentioned), but definitely thinks that there’s such a thing as “too much city” and has to retreat to nature after some time there. A horse-friendly city would be nice, as Winterborn would probably really enjoy getting spoiled with treats at the Plaza on a warm evening, getting petted by nice strangers.

10. Thoughts about Justin? (I’m sorry, I’m curious, he shows up so much)

She pities him in a kind way, thinks he’s sensitive and immature. She wouldn’t mind being friends with him once he starts growing as a person. She also likes lasagna, so they could organise a lasagna party together with the Bobcats sometime.

11. How do they feel about the magical horse race at the circus? Did they enjoy being a horse?

While she doesn’t like how Ydris treats people, she thought it was really interesting and insane, and had a lot of thoughts about what magic is / what magic can do after starting to come into contact with all its different types (Pi, Ydris, the soul riders and druids, etc etc). Maybe being able to turn into a horse at will and gallop around with Winterborn would be really cool!

12. Do they trust the Druids? Or how do they feel about them?

Once she starts getting to know about them, she trusts them as soon as she knows Conrad is involved with them, because she trusts him. Of course she doesn’t trust them 100%, due to all the weird stuff that goes on, but she trusts that they have good intentions even if it doesn’t always come out right, or maybe the right people aren’t in charge.

13. Least favorite NPC?

That’s a tough one... let’s just say she doesn’t like when people use or abuse others. However, she believes that anyone can change and become a better person, it’s just exceptionally hard for some people (and nobody is entitled to forgiveness). (Honestly it’s just difficult because I’m an open-minded person and I appreciate villainous *fictional* characters for their roles in a story, just as well as I appreciate the heroes and background characters. I don’t see a point in being pissy about fictional villains, they’re just part of a story, and in fiction everyone has a chance at bettering themselves. Plus, the victims of their actions are all fictional... nobody really got hurt. I wouldn’t think IRL people like Tr*mp is going to change for the better, plus even if he did he’s caused a lot of people a lot of harm, so IRL is another thing. but I can accept any character’s change and redemption in fiction because... it’s fiction, a fantasy.)

14. How do they make their money?

Before travelling she made them by doing odd jobs around South Hoof, now she does odd jobs around Jorvik. Often she’ll take a trade and do work for food and someplace to stay for the night instead of getting paid. She sells things she’s found and things she’s made now and then (having some skills in crafts).

15. How many horses do they own?

Same answer as before, as an OC she only owns Winterborn (right now).

16. How many pets do they have? What kind? What are their names?

I don’t think I want her to have any at this time, I might change my mind later. She loves the farm animals and the wild horses on South Hoof, of course, and helps take care of other people’s pets when needed. (I love my baby seal in the game though.)

17. How do they feel about the Soul Riders? Do they trust them? Feel like an outsider? Are they closer to some over the others?

I’ll have to decide on her role in the story and relating to the soul riders before I can answer that, so I’ll leave that for now. I don’t think she’s very close with any of them, if anything it’d be a somewhat good relation with Linda and Alex, I think.

18. Do they believe something mystical, magical, or otherwise strange really exists in Dino Valley? How did they feel about the leaving of the Kallter and the roar/scream/screech in the Valley?

There’s absolutely something strange about it, and her heart beats at the idea of more adventures there. The Kallters must have had a reason to leave.

19. Thoughts about Jorvik Wild Horses?

I think for headcanon OC story purposes, Jorvik Wild Horses and Starbreeds are probably the same thing? Just like, I’d go with that there’s a one type of magic horses with Jorvegian magic (or Pandorian) flowing through them, but then they can look different from each other. In the headcanon there wouldn’t be random Jorvik Wilds running around or anything, it’d be super special rare stuff like the Starbreeds are.

20. Do you think they are a Wild Whisperer? Or are they just bonded with their Soul Steed?

I’m not sure, leaning towards that she’s mostly just bonded with Winterborn. Maybe she has some level of whispering abilities but it’s definitely not one of her strongest skills.

21. What’s their favorite Jorvegian holiday or celebration?

All holidays, any excuse to celebrate, although she prefers peaceful and homely celebrations over parties or high-tempo events. Life is precious, so she celebrates every day to some degree (like I mentioned... sunset picnics, enjoying nature).

22. What do they think or feel about Pandoria? Have they or do they visit outside of the quests (using the rifts)? If they have or still do, why?

I think at the time I would place Juni’s story, she’s only starting to learn about Pandoria and is still confused and thoughtful about the different types and uses of magic. So what she’s going to think of Pandoria and what she’ll do about it would be something to figure out.

23. How has their visit(s) to Pandoria affected them? Do they have scars? Has it affected any of their life views?

See above. But also, since I want to explore Juni’s relation to magic, I’ll say I think the magic (or something else about Pandoria) might start to eat at her, and maybe she starts losing herself a bit the deeper she gets into those thoughts and the magic itself. (Hint... I think it’ll have to do with being an orphan and feeling alone and depressed.)

24. Would they ever consider working for Dark Core or believing their side?

No, I can’t imagine she would unless there was some very specific reason.

25. What or who is Garnok to them? A dark presence? A squid-like monster? A child with a ridiculously complicated jumping course (fuckin @’s Lizzy)?

I love Lizzy’s course lol, but maybe Garnok did have a hand in it... Anyway, I don’t think Juni knows anywhere near enough to have an understanding of Garnok at this point, so it’s just some vague thing the druids aren’t describing enough.

26. Do they ever go to the Disco? If they don’t, would they ever consider going? What would it take to make them go?

She goes sometimes, but she quickly gets tired of both dancing and socialising in crowds and has to wind down afterwards, maybe just sitting down at the disco balcony to look at the ocean, or heading down to the beach to lie down and rest. The evening ride back to her home on South Hoof (or to a place to stay in Moorland if the ferry stopped running) is a moment of winding-down, too.

27. Disco or Moorland Beach party?

The beach party is probably a little more chill, which suits her.

28. Are they interested in helping with archaeology or fishing?

She likes trying to do archaeology, and finds ancient (or just old) things really interesting, but she’s not necessarily the best at it. It’s something she does from time to time, or when someone asks for help. Fishing is something she’d only do when hanging out with someone else.

29. How do they feel about Igor, the waiter/manager of the Dino Valley cafe, and whom seemed interested in your horse for… “culinary reasons?”

She hopes he was joking, and appreciates his efforts in starting up the café since the Dino Valley crew is so small, and everyone needs each others’ help to survive and explore there.

30. Do they like the perpetual winter of Dino Valley or the perpetual autumn/fall of Goldenhills Valley, or is it strange to them? Do they prefer one over the other, or neither?

She likes them both, but she’s curious about what they’d look like if the seasons did change.

[amirahawkpaw]

I have literally no idea what he means, but I guess I could say I’m ‘’obsessed’’ with Ydris after the latest main quests even though I’m not quite sure if he pulls  strings, but he certainly does in his circus with his weird time and space stuff.

After the quest I was thinking about how Pandoria isn’t necessary evil but it’s just Garnok that’s fucking up stuff there, that other poeple/pandorians/idk how u want to call them, have lived there in peace (maybe) untill some magical squirrel put an evil tentacle monster there?

I’m also wondering about Ydris himself tbh because, I don’t think he’s evil? and I’m glad to have a character in sso that’s not necessarily evil but also not necessarily good. But like, Ydris just wants to save his home, which is exact the same thing we want too, but we want to save another dimension. 

Until this quest I wasn’t exactly aware that pandoria was the home of other beings other than shadowseekers and Katja, so I didn’t really care if something happened to Pandoria or not, and I don’t think the keepers of Aideen care too much about that dimension either, or they do and I completely missed that, but let’s say they don’t. In that case we are basically the bad guys in Pandorians’ eyes, because we want to destroy the monster and we don’t give to many fucks if the dimension gets destroyed with it.

Which might sound familiar?

because what other character wants to save their dimension but doesn’t care much about the other? 

It’s the man who turned us into a horse.

I actually wanted to go to a certain point with this but I lost track of my thoughts..

Anyway I hope we’ll get more quests with Ydris, maybe he could ever come in handy when we’re having a bitchfight with Katja

[enbies-and-felonies]

the worst thing sbt being high is that it feel sso long. ig that could also be good but like. if you have a bad trip? shit feels like it lasts for hours. and then you xome down and your like "holy shit??? that was only 10 minurs???"

thats why saliva is always soooo fucked. basically its like a rlly rlly strong psych. that shit (at least for me) always makes time so so bad. lime that whole trip lasted like. idk 10 minites? but i genuinely thought i was there, a letter B, getting surgery, for fucking hours. it was terrifying.

and like fuck man! im like 80% sober now! its so wierd. i hate time. like yeah sure the first bit is cool when its just stims. but by god. coming down is fucking horrible.

sorry that was sorta a wierd rant and idk if anything i said makes sense but yeah sbhs. time is fucked and i dont like it. angry face.

also ive been meaning to ask, but are you okay with me saying stuff like 'by god' and stuff? bc ik some christians feel uncomfy with that so i wanted to know for you dhshs

xx❄️

damn that does sound so fucked?? i think it would scare me to have that sense of unreality so out of my control. like, i guess if i was doing it i WOULD feel slightly in control in that i chose to do it, but still

i'm okay with it! i say it sometimes, depending on my mood and how i'm feeling about things? idk i've got like. a weird relationship with what constitutes "name in vain" and all that, but i'm fine when other people do it

i really appreciate you asking though! it means a lot that you care enough to ask :)) <3