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#Automatic Curtain Controller
jisanvai · 8 days
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Ultimate Guide to Automatic Curtain Controller Prices: Key Factors and Considerations
In today’s smart home environment, automatic curtain controllers are rapidly becoming a staple for modern living. These devices provide an effortless way to manage natural light and enhance privacy at the touch of a button or via a smartphone app. Understanding the price range and the factors influencing the cost of automatic curtain controllers is essential for making an informed purchase. This comprehensive guide will explore the different aspects that affect the price of these controllers, helping you choose the best option for your needs.
1. Introduction to Automatic Curtain Controllers
Automatic curtain controllers, also known as motorized curtain systems or electric curtain tracks, are designed to automate the opening and closing of curtains or drapes. They offer significant convenience, allowing users to control their curtains remotely, schedule their operation, and integrate them with other smart home systems. The advancement in technology has made these controllers more accessible and sophisticated, offering various features that cater to different preferences and requirements.
2. Factors Influencing the Price of Automatic Curtain Controllers
a. Type of Curtain Controller:
The type of automatic curtain controller you choose significantly impacts its price. Generally, there are two main types:
Rod-Type Controllers: These are designed for curtains that hang from a rod. The motor is typically housed within the rod or the curtain track system. Rod-type controllers are often more aesthetically pleasing but may be slightly more expensive due to their design complexity.
Track-Type Controllers: These controllers are suited for curtains that slide along a track. The motor and track system can be purchased separately or as a bundled unit. Track-type controllers are usually more versatile and can handle a wider range of curtain weights and styles.
b. Curtain Size and Weight Capacity:
The size and weight of your curtains directly influence the price of the controller. Controllers designed for heavier or larger curtains require more powerful motors and robust mechanisms. For instance, a controller suitable for lightweight sheers might cost between $150 and $300, while one capable of handling heavy drapes could range from $400 to $700 or more. Ensure the controller you choose is rated for the weight and dimensions of your curtains.
c. Features and Technology:
Modern automatic curtain controllers come with a variety of features that can affect their cost:
Remote Control: Basic models often include a remote control for manual operation. This feature is standard in most systems and does not significantly affect the price.
Smartphone Integration: Advanced controllers offer smartphone app integration, allowing you to control your curtains from anywhere. This feature can add $100 to $200 to the overall cost.
Voice Control Compatibility: Integration with voice assistants like Amazon Alexa, Google Assistant, or Apple HomeKit adds convenience and typically costs an additional $100 to $150.
Scheduling and Automation: Some controllers allow you to set schedules for opening and closing your curtains. This feature can be particularly useful for managing sunlight and privacy. Systems with scheduling capabilities are generally priced higher.
Battery vs. Wired Systems: Battery-operated systems offer flexibility in installation but may require periodic battery changes. Wired systems, on the other hand, generally provide more consistent power but may involve more complex installation. Battery-operated systems can be more expensive upfront but offer easier installation.
d. Build Quality and Materials:
The materials and build quality of the curtain controller affect both its durability and price. High-quality materials such as aluminum tracks or reinforced plastic components contribute to a higher cost but ensure better performance and longevity. Additionally, well-built systems often come with extended warranties or service plans, adding value to the investment.
e. Installation and Labor Costs:
Installation costs can vary based on the complexity of the system and the professional services required. Basic installations might cost between $100 and $200, while more complex setups involving multiple controllers or integration with smart home systems could range from $300 to $600. DIY installation kits are available for those comfortable with self-installation, which can save on labor costs but may require more time and effort.
f. Brand and Warranty:
The brand of the automatic curtain controller can influence its price. Reputable brands often charge a premium due to their reliability, customer support, and innovation. Additionally, a good warranty can add to the overall cost but provides peace of mind regarding potential defects or malfunctions.
3. Average Price Ranges
To provide a clearer perspective, here’s a general breakdown of the price ranges for automatic curtain controllers:
Basic Models: $150 to $300
These controllers usually offer remote control functionality and are suitable for lighter curtains. They may not include advanced features such as smartphone integration or voice control.
Mid-Range Models: $300 to $600
These systems typically include features like smartphone integration, scheduling, and can handle a wider range of curtain sizes and weights. They may offer better build quality and more advanced functionality.
High-End Models: $600 to $1,200+
High-end controllers come with advanced features such as voice control compatibility, premium materials, and extensive customization options. They are designed for heavy-duty use and offer superior performance and durability.
4. Choosing the Right Controller for Your Needs
When selecting an automatic curtain controller, consider the following factors:
Curtain Specifications: Ensure the controller is compatible with the size, weight, and type of your curtains.
Feature Preferences: Determine which features are essential for your lifestyle and budget.
Installation Requirements: Factor in installation costs and whether professional help is needed.
Long-Term Value: Consider the durability of the system and potential maintenance costs.
5. Conclusion
Automatic curtain controllers are a valuable addition to any modern home, offering convenience, security, and enhanced control over natural light. By understanding the factors that influence their price and carefully evaluating your needs, you can make a well-informed decision that balances functionality, durability, and cost. Whether you choose a basic model or a high-end system, the right curtain controller will provide long-term benefits and elevate the comfort and efficiency of your living space.
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sahabib · 8 days
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Automatic Curtain Controller - Smart Home Integration
Elevate your home automation with the Automatic Curtain Controller, designed to offer seamless and intelligent control of your window coverings. Priced at [Insert Price Here], this device combines cutting-edge technology with ease of use. It features programmable schedules, sunlight-responsive adjustments, and remote operation via a smartphone app. Integrate it effortlessly with your existing smart home system to enhance privacy, optimize energy efficiency, and add a touch of modern convenience to your living space. Whether you’re seeking increased comfort or streamlined control, our Automatic Curtain Controller delivers exceptional performance and value. For bulk orders or custom pricing, please contact us directly.
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rasel123456 · 8 days
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Automatic Curtain Controllers: Affordable Smart Home Solutions
Automatic curtain controllers have become a popular addition to modern homes, providing convenience, energy efficiency, and a touch of luxury. These devices allow you to open and close your curtains remotely or on a schedule, enhancing both comfort and privacy. When considering installing an automatic curtain controller, it's essential to understand the pricing and the features that affect the overall cost.
Factors Affecting Automatic Curtain Controller Prices
The price of an automatic curtain controller can vary depending on several factors, including the type of controller, motor strength, compatibility with smart home systems, and additional features such as remote control or voice command functionality.
Basic models typically feature a motorized system that allows for simple remote-controlled operation, often priced between $100 and $200. Mid-range models, which offer scheduling options and compatibility with smart home systems like Alexa, Google Assistant, or Apple HomeKit, are priced between $200 and $400.
High-end models, which include advanced features such as voice control, app integration, and solar-powered motors, can cost upwards of $500. These systems provide a seamless smart home experience, allowing users to control their curtains via smartphone apps, smart assistants, or even automation settings based on time, light levels, or temperature.
Installation and Additional Costs
In addition to the price of the controller itself, installation costs should be considered. DIY installation is possible with some models, but professional installation might be required for more complex systems. This can add an extra $100 to $300 depending on the complexity of the setup and the type of curtain system in your home.
Conclusion
The price of an automatic curtain controller depends on the features and functionalities you need. While basic models are affordable, investing in a more advanced system can provide enhanced convenience, energy efficiency, and integration with your smart home setup, making it a worthwhile addition for modern living spaces.
4o
Installation tips?
Best
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sabrinachy11 · 8 days
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Automatic Curtain Controller - Smart Home Curtain Automation System
Description: Upgrade your home with the Automatic Curtain Controller, designed to bring convenience and luxury to your living space. With smart integration, this curtain automation system allows you to open or close your curtains with ease, using remote control, voice commands, or even automated schedules. Perfect for enhancing privacy, controlling sunlight, and improving energy efficiency. Easy to install and compatible with most curtain styles, this controller is a must-have for smart home enthusiasts. Enjoy hands-free operation and elevate your home automation experience today!
What is an Automatic Curtain Controller?
An automatic curtain controller is a device that automates the movement of curtains in your home. Instead of manually pulling the curtains open or closed, the system allows you to operate them through various control methods, such as remote control, smartphone apps, voice assistants (like Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant), or pre-programmed schedules.
The system generally consists of a motorized track or rod that works with your existing curtains. These controllers are often compatible with most curtain types, including those mounted on rods or tracks, making them versatile and adaptable to different styles of home décor.
Features of an Automatic Curtain Controller
Automatic curtain controllers offer a range of features designed to provide flexibility, convenience, and improved energy management. Here are some of the most notable features:
Remote Control Operation: Most automatic curtain controllers come with a remote that allows you to open or close your curtains with a simple button press, providing convenience from anywhere in the room.
Smartphone App Integration: Many systems offer app connectivity, enabling you to control your curtains remotely, even when you’re not at home. This is particularly useful for travelers or those who want to automate their home security while away.
Voice Assistant Compatibility: With integration to popular voice assistants like Amazon Alexa, Google Assistant, or Apple HomeKit, you can use voice commands to control your curtains. For instance, simply saying “Hey Alexa, close the curtains” makes operation hands-free.
Scheduling Functionality: One of the most practical features is the ability to set schedules. This means you can program your curtains to open in the morning with the sunrise or close at sunset, saving time and effort while also creating a natural lighting environment in your home.
Light and Motion Sensors: Some advanced models come with built-in sensors that react to light or motion. The system can close the curtains automatically when too much sunlight enters the room or open them when it detects movement, enhancing both privacy and energy efficiency.
Energy Efficiency: By controlling the amount of sunlight entering your home, automatic curtain controllers can help regulate indoor temperature. In hot climates, closing the curtains during peak sun hours can reduce cooling costs, while in colder environments, opening them can maximize natural heating.
Quiet Operation: Modern curtain controllers are designed for smooth and quiet operation, ensuring minimal disturbance in your living space. This is especially important in bedrooms or offices where noise is a concern.
Easy Installation: Many systems are designed to be user-friendly with easy installation processes. Most setups are compatible with existing curtain tracks or rods, eliminating the need for extensive modifications or professional installation.
Benefits of Automatic Curtain Controllers
Automatic curtain controllers bring a host of benefits to homeowners, making them a worthwhile investment in smart home technology:
Convenience: With the push of a button or a simple voice command, you can control your curtains from anywhere in your home or even remotely. This adds a layer of convenience to daily routines, especially for individuals with mobility issues or homes with hard-to-reach windows.
Enhanced Privacy: Automatic curtain systems provide an additional layer of privacy. You can close your curtains from your smartphone when you’re not at home or when you’re in another room, ensuring that your home remains protected from prying eyes.
Increased Energy Efficiency: By managing the amount of sunlight entering your home, automatic curtain controllers can significantly reduce your heating and cooling bills. You can set schedules to close curtains during the hottest part of the day or open them to let in sunlight during colder months.
Improved Home Security: With automatic curtain controllers, you can simulate your presence at home even when you’re away. Scheduled curtain movements can deter potential intruders by giving the illusion that someone is at home, enhancing your home’s security.
Aesthetic Appeal: Motorized curtain systems give your home a modern and luxurious feel. They contribute to the seamless integration of smart technology into your home’s design, making it more visually appealing and stylish.
How to Install an Automatic Curtain Controller
Installing an automatic curtain controller is generally a straightforward process, but it does require attention to detail. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to set up your system:
Choose the Right System: First, ensure that the automatic curtain controller you purchase is compatible with your curtain type, whether you have rod-based curtains or track-mounted ones. Some systems are more versatile than others, so it’s important to confirm compatibility.
Unbox and Review Components: Once you receive your curtain controller, check the package for all necessary components, which usually include the motor, mounting brackets, remote control, and power supply.
Mount the Motor and Brackets: Depending on your system, you may need to attach the motor to the existing curtain track or rod. Use the mounting brackets provided and follow the manufacturer’s instructions carefully. Ensure that the motor is securely fastened for smooth operation.
Connect to Power: Most curtain controllers require a power source. You may need to plug the motor into a nearby outlet or opt for a battery-powered model if electrical outlets are not conveniently located.
Pair with Remote and Smartphone: Follow the setup instructions to pair the controller with the remote control and, if applicable, connect it to your smartphone app via Wi-Fi or Bluetooth. Ensure the system is properly synced before finalizing the installation.
Test the System: Once installed, test the system by opening and closing the curtains using the remote, smartphone app, and voice commands (if integrated with a voice assistant). Adjust the settings as necessary, such as setting opening and closing limits or creating schedules.
Pricing Factors for Automatic Curtain Controllers
The price of automatic curtain controllers varies based on several factors, including features, compatibility, and brand reputation. Here’s an overview of what influences the price:
Basic vs. Advanced Features: Basic systems that come with simple remote control functionality are generally more affordable, with prices starting around $100 to $200. More advanced models with smart integration, sensors, and scheduling options can range from $200 to $500.
Motor Power and Curtain Size Compatibility: Some curtain controllers are designed for larger or heavier curtains, which may require more powerful motors. These systems tend to be more expensive, so consider the size and weight of your curtains when choosing a system.
Installation Complexity: While most systems are designed for easy installation, some may require professional assistance, especially if electrical wiring or custom tracks are involved. Factor in installation costs if you’re not confident in setting up the system yourself.
Brand and Warranty: Established brands with a reputation for quality may charge more, but they often provide longer warranties and better customer support. Consider the long-term value when choosing a system, as cheaper models may lack durability.
Conclusion
An automatic curtain controller is more than just a luxury—it's a practical and innovative tool that enhances your home’s comfort, energy efficiency, and security. With a wide range of features, from voice control to energy-saving capabilities, these systems offer something for everyone, whether you’re looking to modernize your home or simplify your daily routines.
Investing in a high-quality automatic curtain controller can transform your living space, offering the convenience of automation while adding a touch of modern sophistication to your home. With proper research and thoughtful consideration of your needs and budget, you can find the perfect solution to fit your home and lifestyle.
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somfyindianew · 1 month
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"Smart Living: Somfy's Innovative Automatic Curtains for Homes"
Raise your home to a higher level with Somfy's innovative automatic curtains, blending modern living with unbeatable convenience and style. Using smart technology, easily acquire lighting and privacy for increased comfort and energy efficiency. Bring out the best in your space with Somfy's cutting-edge solutions today!
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livfuture123 · 2 months
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What Are Remote-Control Curtains?
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Remote-control curtains are the invention of new technology. With advancements in technology, these automated curtains are revolutionizing the way we interact with our living spaces. Remote Curtains ease manual labor by reducing the manual work of a person.
Remote Control Curtains have several added advantages. If your place also has tall windows and you have trouble reaching them, then Remote-control curtains might be the perfect solution for you. if you want your space optimized, then remote-control curtains might be the perfect solution.
But How Exactly Do They Operate?
Automated curtains use the power of technology to provide seamless and effortless control over the opening and closing of curtains. By integrating with smart home systems and utilizing various sensors and programming, these curtains can be operated remotely or set to respond to specific triggers or schedules.
The need for automation in our daily lives has been recognized in various areas, from the convenience of automated door closures to the general efficiency and control of smart homes. The advent of smart curtains is another step towards simplifying and enhancing our living environments.
Can you manually convert regular curtains into motorized curtains?Yes, you can convert your regular curtains into motorized curtains. we have a perfect team to help you with that. Livfuture Automation has professionals who will guide you with this.
How Do Remote-Control Curtains Work?
Remote-control curtains are relatively a new technology and make our homes smarter. it can be installed at your place ultimately increasing the aesthetic value of your place. Remote Control curtains operate through a combination of sensors, motors, and programming.
Smart Curtains uses the following Mechanism to function-
 Smart Curtains use motorized systems that move the curtain system along a fixed path called a track or rail. these motors get their power from electricity or batteries depending on the specific setup.
 Smart Curtains contain a central system that connects the curtains to a smart home system. This hub can receive commands from mobile applications and then curtains are commanded to act accordingly.
 Sensors are also integrated into various remote control curtains to enable automation. For example, light sensors can detect changes in external lighting conditions, prompting the curtains to open or close accordingly.
 Through programming, users can customize the behavior of their smart curtains. This includes setting schedules for opening and closing, creating scenes to coordinate with other smart devices, and adjusting sensitivity to sensor inputs.
Conclusion
Remote control curtains are relatively a new invention. if you are looking for ways to get your home curtains motorized. We have a wide range of products to choose from. We, at livfuture Automation PVT. LTD. will try to provide the best products according to your needs.
If You want to know more about Remote Control Curtains.
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aayakashii · 3 months
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routine
Pairing: Kagami Subaru x MC/reader
Tags: SFW. Character analysis, a bit of angst, hurt x comfort (I think), fluff and romance between you and Subaru, over 6k words
Author's note: this is probably the biggest fic I've written lol and I'm kinda proud of how it came out, since it also took me some days to fully flesh it out. I'd appreciate comments if you liked the fic! Comments literally keep every writers alive. Anyways, hope you enjoy!
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Kabuki Glossary:
Biwa: Japanese short-necked wooden flute traditionally used in narrative storytelling
Geza: the music that plays during kabuki, performed live
Hanamichi: flower path; a long, raised platform, running left or center to the stage through the audience, connecting to the main stage, used to make dramatic entrances and exits
Mie pose: a powerful and emotional pose struck by an actor
Onnagata: actor who acts the role of a young woman 
Sewamono:  a genre of contemporary setting plays in Japanese traditional theatre
Shamisen: three-stringed traditional Japanese musical instrument
Tachiyaku: young adult male roles, the actors who play those roles; most commonly these are hero roles, though not all of them
Takemoto: a specific type of song, it is also the narration device used during a kabuki play. It consists of a chanter/narrator (tayu) and the shamisen players
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Subaru had become used to it.
You would come to visit him right after your classes, if you weren’t assigned a mission, and Subaru would welcome you with tea and some obscure sweet he managed to get, just to let you try it. You two would talk, and you would share stories about your friends in the Academy, how your life was before you became cursed, and he would tell his own stories, even if he thought they weren’t nearly as interesting as yours.
It gave him a sense of belonging.
Subaru hadn't had much experience with friendships or any interpersonal relationship at all.
His life was merely the background for his career as an actor. His bare skin was merely the foundational bricks for the red and white makeup that would adorn him once he was out on the stage.
When he was under the spotlight, his monotone voice resounded loudly – louder than the drums, louder than the shamisen, louder than the biwa. Subaru became gigantic under his costume. His movements were sharp and hypnotic, the flow of his kimono as he walked down the hanamichi and the pierce of his gaze turned all heads towards him. He was a genius, a talent like no other, the future of the kabuki theater.
And he did not see himself in any of it.
Here lies the true tragedy of a burned out genius child: to go under insurmountable levels of pressure, only to find that the dreams of your parents were never your own.
Subaru did not want to be under the spotlight, no matter how much the spotlight wanted him and no matter how much others wanted him to be under it.
As he was forced to keep walking the flower path, his chances of living life as a normal kid were gone: he had no friends, no acquaintances, nothing that helped him find out who he was for himself.
So, he had no experience.
But he knew that he could pick out the feeling of belonging somewhere after spending time with you.
Eagerly, he waited for the clock to reach 5PM everyday, knowing that you would come through his door to spend time with him.
Routine was always something he appreciated, anxious as he was. He didn't like surprises, he wanted things to be predictable, to give him even the slightest sense of control over his new life as a student.
Therefore, to know that you would come to visit everyday, at the exact same time, was his comfort – even if the thought of you made his heart skip a beat, although he didn't quite understand why.
Not even standing behind the greatest stages made his heart drum loudly after a while. As the green, red and brown curtains of the stage were pulled, his body went on automatic. The takemoto went through his ears, unnoticed, and the geza became white noise. He moved gracefully, although his mind flew into other planes. As the audience clapped enthusiastically as he stood in his mie pose, Subaru wished he was somewhere else. He felt extremely guilty for not being able to appreciate the hard work of the musicians and the actors, but after he figured out that the passion he thought he had was merely a reflection of his parents’ passion, everything became black, white and gray.
Yet, planning fancy snacks for you made his hands clammy and his heart restless – and it wasn't the most comfortable feeling, however, he didn't hate it. He knew you'd come through with the routine and wash his anxieties away.
However, much to his dismay, his comfort had been ripped off of him for the past three days. His precious routine had been broken and Subaru would be lying if he said he wasn't counting the hours, the minutes and the seconds until it was restored, somehow.
He just had no idea how to fix it.
You had been fiercely avoiding him for three days, ever since the last meeting was cut short, and he blamed himself for hurting you in the worst way he could have ever done it.
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Subaru has always had awful self-esteem.
No matter the compliments about his genius, none of them stuck to him. When you despise what you do, being good at it just brings forth more bitterness towards oneself.
Subaru was a rarity in the kabuki world – someone who could represent a captivating tachiyaku or the most elegant onnagata. He could be the hero or the princess, something that most actors could not do. To don the costumes of two genders was the cause of endless praise and awe from the audience and members of his acting house alike – none of which he accepted.
To him, his talent came as second nature. There was no need to hone his skills – they were already there, much like an additional organ he was born with – and he loathed that fact. He loathed how this pushed him towards a world in which he didn't want to participate. 
He truly valued the hard work he was now putting into his studies, something he was creating with his own hands. He could see his own growth and pat himself on the back for it – even if he still had a hard time accepting compliments (he knew the only reason he was the captain of Hotarubi was due to his status, after all. He was just a figurehead).
Subaru’s stigma was an even bigger burden towards his path of bettering himself. 
If he hated being an actor, he hated himself even more for his powers. Much like his talent, he did not ask to be bestowed with such a repugnant stigma. It was the reason why his parents would never touch him, never hold him. He was a walking breach of privacy, a dangerous little thing that could easily become a weapon, if the truth of his stigma was found out. He was untouchable in every way, figuratively and literally.
He truly couldn't understand how Lyca, Zenji, Haku and you were so quick to accept his ugliness. 
“You aren’t disgusting, something like this could never be your fault”, you had said, when he wallowed in self-pity after revealing his secret. But to step out of his cycle of self-hatred was a tough task.
Your visits helped, however. For the first time in his young life, someone saw him as himself and stayed. 
Haku and Zenji were his true friends, but they still saw him through the lens of that one genius kabuki actor. And Lyca… he was alone and desperate.
You, however, had the ghouls of Darkwick Academy wrapped in your little finger and, still, you chose him. Despite his social awkwardness, his anxieties, his anger, his stigma. You chose him whenever it was time to get lunch, when you could be resting, when you could have anyone else. The thought of it made his heart skip a beat again. He was sensing a slight pattern.
Yet, it had been three days, and you were gone. No messages, no visits, no news.
He understood your avoidance despite it all. He had committed the worst sin he could have done to his dearest friend.
He had touched you.
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You had come to Hotarubi at your usual time, 5PM, sharp. Your hair was disheveled and a few droplets of water stained the tatami of the tea room as they fell from your face and hands, while you hurriedly took off your shoes.
“I’m so sorry for making a mess, Subaru! I had to run here to arrive on time and ended up forgetting my umbrella… I had to walk under every cover I could find, but I still ended up being sprayed by the rain.” you said, as you stood at the entrance, shaking your body as if you were trying to get rid of the excess water.
Subaru shot up from his spot, his face contorted in worry.
“Oh no, please don’t do that!” he said, as he ran to quickly rummage through the drawers of the room for towels “You always have to use an umbrella when you come to Hotarubi, what if you get a cold?”
You grabbed the towel he gave you, smiling awkwardly.
“I know, I know. I just didn’t want to arrive late. I didn’t want you to get anxious.”
Subaru blinked, face blank, as he was caught off guard by your answer.
“You… you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not that anxious.” 
You laughed, and he felt his breath hitch on his throat.
“Suuure, and I don’t breathe oxygen…” you said jokingly, hanging the towel on a nearby hanger after you finished patting your face and arms dry, giggling as you noticed the way he was pouting slightly. “I’m just playing with you! I’m sorry.”
“No no, I’m sorry about worrying you to the point of you having to hurry…”
You rolled your eyes and raised your hands to put them on his shoulder, quickly stopping yourself before you could actually touch him, resting them on your hips instead.
“Subaru. You don’t have to apologize for something like that. I am doing this because I care about your well-being. You're my friend and I want you to be okay. It’s not something to feel apologetic for. Instead, you can just thank me for being a great friend.” you winked and he immediately looked away from your face, that was too bright for him to stare at.
“O… okay… Thank you.” Subaru murmured, forcing himself to look at you again, from under his lashes, a small smile adorning his features.
“You’re very welcome.” you nodded “Now let’s drink some tea please, I do need something hot to warm myself!”
“That’s true, let’s get you warm so you won’t get a cold, please.”
Soon, time slowed down as you two sat and chatted about everything and nothing at all. You talked about how weird Darkwick's shopkeeper is, how awfully crowded the dining hall is (Subaru avoided it like the plague), how scary Professor Hyde can be sometimes, how loud Kaito and Luca are, how cute are the little cats running around all day…
How funny it is that you two always met for lunch in a place where only romantic couples hung out, you mentioned in passing, almost mumbling to yourself like you didn’t want to be heard.
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Subaru asked, already looking apologetic, hearing you despite your low voice.
“No, no” you were quick to dismiss his concern “It’s, um, I don’t know... Doesn’t it make you a little nervous?” you said, laughing sheepishly, a foreign blush warming the tips of your ears, which went unnoticed by him.
“You get nervous when we’re there? We can eat somewhere else, you don't have to stay in a place you dislike just to appease me…” Subaru muttered, frowning “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice that it was making you uncomfortable…”
“No, no, no” you shook your head vigorously “That’s not what I meant at all! I… I don’t think I can explain it to you just yet. I don’t think I’m… ready, or… whatever, I don’t know…” you trailed off, incoherently.
“Ready? I’m sorry, I don't understand.”
“It’s okay” you flashed him a smile and grabbed one of the kimono catalogs that were littering his table, fidgeting with it, mindlessly “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just keep eating there, okay? Promise we’ll keep eating there?”
“But I want to understand what you mean- oh!” Subaru cut himself off as he saw a thick sheet of paper cut your thumb while you flipped it anxiously “Your thumb…”
You looked at the small cut that was letting out a single droplet of blood and shrugged.
“Oh, I didn’t even notice… it’s okay, I’ll put a bandaid over it later. Wait, Subaru? Wait… wait, no!”
The boy didn’t quite register his own movements, as his hand went to grab your bleeding one, gently grasping your pulse with his soft fingers, running his own thumb over your cut, as if his touch could heal you faster. 
His hands were bare.
You inhaled sharply and, instantly, it all flashed into his mind in quick succession. Like a large wave overwhelming an inexperienced swimmer, he was pushed down into the deep waters of those memories, causing him to gasp, breathless.
Subaru was swarmed by visions of himself in every possible situation. He saw how your gaze followed him when you spotted him from a distance in the campus; how you searched for him in the crowd of students during lunch time, on the tranquil balcony in which you two have shared your food together plenty of times before; and how you turned your head around whenever you heard someone mention his name in passing.
He had glimpses of the way his hands moved while making tea; his profile as he smiled gently when he tried explaining your homework to you; and his own eyes softening as he talked about Lyca. In your eyes, he looked magical. Ethereal, even. Someone who deserved to be admired, loved, praised and he knew these were your own emotions being whispered so subtly to him.
Subaru saw himself in a way the mirror had never reflected back to him. He discovered parts of his being that he wasn't able to find out for himself, because they would only come to the surface when he was with you.
In his mind's eye, right then, Subaru laughed, loud and breathless, as he clutched his stomach – all the restraint he built through his lifetime, gone through the window, after you had merely told him some silly joke. The way he brightened with your words, making your heart beat in a terrifying, yet delightful way, made your breath catch on your throat.
And much like a dying man seeing his whole life flash through his eyes, he arrived back to the present and saw himself, staring wide-eyed at his own hand tightly gripping yours.
He blinked, and his consciousness came back to him.
Subaru, like usual, felt incredibly weak after using his stigma, yet he still quickly turned his gaze towards you, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like a fish, unable to say a word.
Your face was beet red and your eyes were blankly staring at your own lap, lips pursed into a thin line and eyebrows furrowed. Your free hand was clenched into a fist, knuckles pale with the force in which you dug your own nails into your palm.
“I…” Subaru murmured, trying his best to weave a coherent thought.
You got up quickly, breaking the hold Subaru had onto your arm, and grabbed your things in a hurry.
“I think- I think I should go.” your voice cracked and you cleared your throat harshly “Thank you so much for the snacks and tea, they were delicious like always” you blurted out, quickly making your way to his door.
“Wait, no, I- I'm sorry, I-” Subaru held his hand out, as if he tried to reach you but you were too far away, oceans of distance between you two.
“There's nothing to apologize for!” You said, way too cheerfully for him to believe you “I just gotta go now. I have… I gotta go. Yeah. See you soon, Subaru.” you stepped out into the rain and soon disappeared into the mist that surrounded Hotarubi, not waiting for whatever he tried to say.
Subaru stared at his own hands. The little droplet of your blood stained his fingertip, and he took a deep, shaky breath.
He had betrayed you. He had seen your innermost memories without your consent and now you were mad at him. He had to apologize. He had to beg for your forgiveness, until you took pity on him and allowed him to be your friend once again. 
Falling into a deeper pit of self-hatred was hard, but he tried to keep it together, for you. He needed to be lucid in order to beg for your pardon once you came back to visit him. He just hoped it would be soon.
But you did not see him soon at all.
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“I don't think they're mad at you for seeing their memories, it’s not really like them. But maybe they're embarrassed?” Haku pondered, taking a bite of the mochi Subaru had set out for you out of pure habit.
“No” he shook his head, adamant “They wouldn't simply disappear if it was just that. I don’t believe that. I have done something that made them angry at me. I saw something I definitely shouldn't have seen.”
It was the fifth day of you avoiding Subaru and he was hanging on by the thinnest thread. He was so close to snapping that it was becoming clear to the other Hotarubi students. And so, Haku and Zenji came to intervene.
“Well... I can't really give you my proper opinion if I don't know what you saw.” Haku said bluntly, making Subaru flinch.
“I can't tell you. I would be breaching their trust again. That’s the last thing I need to do right now.”
“You are absolutely correct, my dear friend!” Zenji remarked “However, we can’t possibly figure out the true essence of your situation if you can't tell us the whole entire story! How can we write an ending without knowing the beginning and the middle of the plot?”
“I don’t know…” Subaru murmured, looking more miserable with each second.
Haku sighed loudly, shifting his legs on the seat.
“Subaru. We don't want to gossip. We just want to know the situation better. We are their friends as well, you know?” he smirked “We can help you figure out their emotions. If anything, you might feel better after venting. How’s that phrase? A burden shared…”
“Is a burden halved!” Zenji finished, boisterously.
A pang resounded in Subaru's heart at how his friends were doing their best to help him.
“O…okay. I'll tell you”
After finishing recounting the last day he saw you, Subaru sighed loudly.
“Well?”
After a moment of silence, Zenji exclaimed loudly, startling the other two.
“Oh!! The spring begins!!” he yelled, one hand on his chest as the other went up in the air “How lovely it is to see young buds bloom into perfect flowers!!”
Haku slowly nodded at Zenji’s words and chuckled, rubbing his own face in disbelief while he noticed how absolutely perplexed and confused Subaru still was.
“I see now…”
“What?” the brown-haired boy fidgeted, almost desperate to grab Haku and Zenji and shake them by their shoulders “What's going on?”
The other boys looked at each other, before turning back to him. 
“Subaru, I don’t want to beat around the bush so I’m just gonna say it straight away. They're like… very much in love with you.”
He blinked slowly, as if the words were entering his brain at a snail’s pace.
“What?” was all he managed to utter.
“Yes, my friend! Our lovely flower seems to be completely smitten by you!”
“No” Subaru shook his head “That can't be. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Man, if there’s one thing that makes sense in the world, is what we’re telling you right now” Haku said, while laughing “Specially after everything you said you saw. You just… saw their feelings when they weren't ready to tell you yet, so I bet it feels embarrassing. It's probably eating them alive right now. That’s why they’re not visiting.”
Subaru stared at his own lap, his mind not properly processing the depth of the situation – the word “Love” bouncing in his brain like a lost temari.
“Then…” he whispered, throat hoarse “What should I do now?”
“What do you feel for our little flower, my friend? Do you correspond to their feelings? Do you love them back?” Zenji worded gently, as if he was talking to a scared wild animal.
“Do I love them back…” 
Haku nudged Zenji, motioning for both of them to get up and leave Subaru for the moment.
“Figure that out first. If you do, go after them and tell them you correspond to their feelings. If not, just let them deal with it on their own. Also, if you don’t like them back, don’t ask for them to come visit you again like nothing ever happened. You’d just be rubbing salt on their wounds.”
“How do I figure that out though?” Subaru looked up at the two men as they leisurely walked outside of his room, eyes already brimming with tears.
“You're a smart guy. You'll figure that out by yourself.” Haku winked at him and both him and Zenji slipped away, leaving Subaru at a loss.
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Subaru did his due diligence the only way he knew how: by studying. He started reading romance mangas and watching romance movies. It was the type of media his family would never approve of, as they deemed it unworthy of someone refined like him.
Still, despite him thinking that that “forbidden knowledge” would give him all the answers, it still led him nowhere.
He wasn’t like any male lead from these works. He could never run after someone in an airport and yell their name, begging them to stay and forgo all of their life plans. Subaru wasn’t like that. He couldn't run, couldn't yell and could never see himself as more important than anything.
His self-esteem wasn’t nearly as good as what was necessary for him to feel even the slightest kinship towards the strong, bold male leads, who always had something impressive to show – something that made them who they are, even if they had failures in their personalities.
Subaru could say he had his career as a Kabuki actor as something impressive, but again, it wasn’t him. Kabuki was a part of him, yes, but he wanted to shed it like a cocoon.
Despite that, he thought, then, of all the romantic plays he had performed.
He remembered the pain of most love stories, the tragic end of most sewamono plays he performed and he felt the thorns of grief strangle his chest, tightly.
He remembered the star crossed lovers who could never be together, the man who was promised to someone else and couldn’t be with his beloved, and the woman who had her life binded to a place that would never let her be with the one she desired the most.
All of them, lovers who could never be together, so they chose to erase their own light, because being without one another was more painful than dying together.
Subaru thought about not having you in his life for a moment and he figured: maybe not having you was its own type of death. A life without his most beloved friend felt like an empty one. A loveless one.
He paused.
Love. He thought of this word so candidly, it came to his mind without conscious thought – like it was second nature, like it was the obvious conclusion. And so, he decided to allow his thoughts to flow naturally, without pressure or expectations for once.
He thought of the way he searched for your gaze whenever you two were in public, seeking your comfort and approval. 
His heart skipped a beat whenever he glanced at you and you found his eyes, smiling silently at him, as if you two had a secret inside joke. 
His chest swelled with pride whenever you agreed with him (it didn’t matter the subject) and he almost felt like he could burst with it whenever you thanked him for his help studying, or when you praised him, or when you giggled at something he said.
Subaru cared for your tastes and opinions, always asking for your favorite foods, flowers, scents and colors. He made sure to smother you in your favorite things, in order to keep you more comfortable – in order to keep you with him just a little longer everyday.
His thoughts wandered over to you at any given moment and he didn't even notice. He'd question himself whether you'd like something, which sweets he could order for you, which teas he could brew.
Without noticing, he based his life around you and it felt absolutely right when he did that. It felt like belonging somewhere.
Subaru inhaled sharply.
The place in which he belongs is wherever you are, he figured.
Subaru hastily got up and bolted out of his room, out of Hotarubi and into Darkwick's campus, where the rain was pouring heavily, accumulating around the lamp posts and pitter-pattering loudly on the asphalt. His clothes were drenched in mere seconds.
He had forgotten his umbrella.
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Subaru banged as loud as he could on the door of the rundown cathedral, trying to blink away the raindrops that stuck to his eyelashes and blurred his vision. He could barely see through the heavy rain anyway, so he missed the lights on the windows flickering on and your shadow hurriedly descending the stairs to walk towards the tall doors.
“Subaru?!” you yelled through the sounds of the storm, his hands still raised in fists, ready to keep on banging at the door. “Oh my goodness, Subaru, you’re drenched!”
You pulled him by his uniform’s sleeve, doing your best to avoid touching him without his consent. ‘Always so thoughtful’ he thought to himself, feeling a little floaty after finally seeing you after a whole week.
With his realization, the dam that was keeping his feelings for you safely contained inside a hidden part of himself was no more.
Subaru acknowledged that he was madly in love with you and he immediately began feeling foolish. His fingers itched to touch you despite his fears and he could look at you for hours on end, drinking every detail and every mannerism.
It was like admitting his love was also letting go of his self control. He felt like something inside him nudged him to be as close to you as possible and it flustered him.
No wonder the movies and mangas said that being in love made people a bit sillier, a bit dumber. But the extent of it was almost ridiculous.
He followed you like a lost puppy when you motioned for him to come with you, and soon you two found yourselves in the kitchen.
“Okay” you let out a loud exhale “This is the warmest place in this dorm. You’re lucky I was already making myself some tea. Also, I’m gonna bring some towels and a change of clothes for you, although I might not have something that’s your size. Geez, Subaru, what were you thinking, walking all the way here in this storm? And this late? Without an umbrella!” you rambled on and on, pouring boiling water into a mug for him to drink and dipping a tea bag inside, carelessly.
Subaru grabbed the warm mug and looked at you, with saddened eyes that felt like an arrow through your heart.
“I missed you.”
You took a long breath as you heard the words coming out of his lips, and stared at him, dumbfounded, like he had suddenly grown a second head. You were about to reply, when Subaru shivered intensely despite the warmth of the kitchen, and you came back to your senses, walking briskly towards your room, in order to fetch the towels, leaving his words unanswered.
Subaru sipped on the tea, suddenly every insecurity bubbling up to the surface while he waited for you to return. What if he totally misunderstood your memories? What if you just loved him as a friend and nothing else, what if Haku and Zenji were totally wrong, what if what if what if-
The sound of your hurried footsteps interrupted the avalanche of thoughts that were most definitely about to bury him under a panic attack. He focused on your silhouette approaching him with a handful of towels and what appeared to be a big nightgown.
“Okay, let's get you near the stove.” You said, beckoning him to sit where you were standing.
As soon as he sat down again, you covered his head with a towel and began drying him up as best as you could. Subaru focused on the feeling of the soft fabric rubbing against his head, and then his neck and his arms.
“I'm gonna turn around and close my eyes. Meanwhile, please try to dry yourself properly and then put on this nightgown I found, okay?” you said, quickly turning around on your feet, not waiting for his input.
Subaru stared at your back for a moment, and began doing as he was told – the thoughts that were plaguing him calming down and silencing on your presence, as if you were a protective charm. His protective charm.
“I'm done” he muttered, hair still dripping, but mostly dry when it came to his whole body.
You sighed, looking at his wet mop of hair and began drying him again, in silence.
“I’m sorry for touching you” Subaru was the one who first broke the comfortable stillness between you two. 
“You know I’m not mad at you because of that, right?” you replied.
“You disappeared” he stares at you, the hurt in his eyes clear as spring water.
“I know, and I'm…” a beat passes by, longer than it actually was “I apologize. I know running away isn't the best approach, but that was all I came up with.”
Subaru stayed silent, as if he was waiting for you to complete your answer.
“It's just… I can imagine what you saw and I wasn't ready to discuss it yet.” you finished, shoulders slumping after you finish drying his hair.
Subaru moved a few strands of his brown hair away from his eyes.
“What do you think I saw?”
You glared at him, cocking an eyebrow at the question that sounded way too much like a tease.
“I don't think you’re in a position to ask questions like that, are you?” you replied, unintentionally snappy.
“Oh, I'm sorry… it truly wasn't my intention”
But it was Subaru that was standing before you, not anyone else. Truthfully, you knew he would never in a million lifetimes think of teasing you on purpose. It was one of the reasons why you ended up so lost in your feelings for him.
You sighed, more in frustration with yourself than anything else.
“I know, I’m just… Look, Subaru… I'm sorry too.”
It was his turn to raise his eyebrows, but in confusion.
“For what?”
You chewed on your bottom lip, avoiding his eyes even though you were standing so close to his sitting form that his whole presence overwhelmed you. 
“For putting this burden on you. I know you saw my… like…”
He waited yet again for you to finish.
“I know you saw my feelings for you.”
Subaru could immediately feel a warmth spread through his chest, cheeks and ears at your words. So he wasn't mistaken? So you liked him back? Truly?
“But I didn't want to burden you with them.”
The smile that was tugging at the corner of his lips suddenly dissolved into nothing.
“B-burden me?”
You pursed your lips, transferring your weight between your legs, back and forth, back and forth, anxiety clear on your face as you thought of how you could tell him what was on your mind.
“I didn't want to ruin what we have, I think? But there's no point in hiding now, right?” You chuckled nervously “I mean, you already know, but I really like you, Subaru. If I ruined our friendship because I got too greedy, I think I wouldn't be able to handle it.”
You looked at him, eyes swirling with emotion and, for a second, Subaru thought this could all be a dream – the only thing that confirmed otherwise being the uncomfortable chill of his body, a sign of a fever approaching.
“Everything you do… every interaction we have, I just get more and more in love” you cringed at how emotional your own words sounded “But I am so scared of your rejection. I think in part I was hoping you'd forget about that incident during my time away from you. I didn’t imagine you’d come after me.”
Subaru's heart beat drummed loudly and fast inside his chest, although he tried to keep it hidden (his face betrayed him, however).
“Did you think of me while you were away?” He managed to mutter.
“Are you kidding me?” you laughed, breathlessly “You were all I thought about this whole week.”
His ears burned red.
“I… thought about you all the time too.” he mumbled, gaze fixed on his own hands.
“What?”
He took a sharp breath and steadied himself, training his eyes on you as he spoke his next words.
“I'm so… I'm so sorry I'm not good with emotions and I'm sorry that it took me a whole week to understand things when I could have relieved you of this earlier but… I figured it out. I finally did.”
“Figured out what?” you tilted your head to the side and his chest warmed once again at the effortlessly cute gesture, giving him even more certainty to keep saying what he had to say.
“I like… no… I love you too.” he watched the way your eyes widened and darted all over his face, as if to search for a sign of truth behind his words.
“I am so blind and afraid of other people that it took me that long” he proceeded “But I know now. I.. I really do love you and I don't want to be away from you any longer. You don't have to stay away anymore. So please.” He got up from his seat and took a small step towards you “Please don't leave me behind like that anymore.”
You shook your head, tears welling up on your eyes, his intensity squeezing your lungs until you thought you could die, breathless, his eyes stealing every ounce of air from you.
“Subaru… Please… please don't tell me you're doing this to appease me.”
He paused.
The thought of you not believing in his words tugged a little at his heartstrings, but he also couldn't blame you. Not when he was so unsure of all of his feelings on a daily basis, towards everyone and everything, and you were the main witness of the way he clumsily stumbled his way into understanding himself.
He was absolutely sure of this, though.
“I'm not.” he said, voice steady as he looked at you.
“Because if you're saying this just because you want to keep me close, I would never be able to forgive you.” You looked away from him, pain over this imaginary scenario clouding your face. It was the time for him to extinguish your anxieties and insecurities for once.
“I'm not.” He took a step closer towards you.
“Please… don’t try to please me if you don't truly feel the same way.” You shut your eyes tightly, throat clenching as you felt the tears threaten to fall.
“Look at me.” He pleaded, and you hesitantly complied, breath hitching on your throat when you noticed how close he was standing to you “I promise you. I'm not.”
Subaru leaned forward, capturing your lips into a quick, chaste kiss, a fire burning on his cheeks at his own boldness.
He was still afraid of his stigma and how it would work with the other parts of his body besides his hands, but once he noticed he was still grounded in reality and not locked in another memory of yours, he got a bit bolder once again, and kissed you for just a little longer, lips melding together just a little more. The softness of your kiss made him sigh and his heartbeat deafened his ears. 
He tentatively rested his forehead on yours once the innocent kiss was broken.
The first thing he noticed was the warmth you radiated while he stood near you. Both of you had beet red faces and your minds were hazy, as if they were made of clouds.
You were the first to come back to reality and giggle at how overwhelmed both of you were with just a little kiss.
Slowly, hesitantly, your hand came up to cup his cheek, and he leaned into your touch like a cat.
“The stigma?” you whispered
“Not activated”
“Good.”
Your other hand came up to run your fingers through his hair, on his nose, on his chin. 
“Do you believe me now?” Subaru asked, wholeheartedly.
“Maybe, I think I'm going to need a few more kisses to fully believe you.” you smiled, teasing him a little bit.
“Really?” He leaned away to look at your eyes, still a bit worried he hadn’t convinced you yet.
“No” you snorted “I'm just joking.”
“Oh I see… sorry I didn't get it right away” he furrowed his brows, apologetically.
“I don't mind getting more kisses though!” you squeezed his shoulders, reassuring.
Subaru chuckled, still a bit flustered at your proximity. Suddenly, however, he scrunched his nose and stepped backwards.
“Subaru?”
“Oh. Oh, I think I'm gonna–” Subaru quickly turned around and sneezed into the towel that still hung on his shoulders “Oh-oh. I think I'm getting a bit sick.” he said, nasally, nose dripping a little bit as he sniffed loudly, back still turned towards you.
You fretted, hovering all around him as you scolded the poor boy.
“See! What did I tell you!” You quickly placed your hand on his forehead and gasped “Let's get you to bed right now, Subaru. You're already feverish!”
You pulled him quickly towards your room, hearing his wheezes as both of you climbed the stairs that led to your quarters.
“But I don't regret what I did” he stifled another sneeze “I needed to talk to you.”
You blushed, opening the door to your room, and glared at him.
“And now you're sick…”
You two climbed the stairs to your lofted bed and you pulled the covers, motioning for him to lay down.
He sat on your bed and looked at you, puppy eyes blinking his allergy tears away.
“But… it kinda looked like a movie thing, didn't it…?” he said, sheepishly.
You pushed him towards your pillows and covered him thoroughly, pouting a bit.
“I think it did…” you stared at the giddy smile that tugged on his lips and sighed, shaking your head.
“I'm going to be down there” you pointed to the bottom of your room “So if you need anything, I'll be here. I'll just grab you some water and medicine and come back quickly, okay?”
You got up, but as you began to leave, Subaru held your hand. His eyes were already droopy, the events of the day getting to him, along with the cold that was quickly racking his body.
“Are you going to start visiting me again?” he asked quietly.
You felt your heart skip a beat as you looked at his sleepy face, the question making you fall even deeper in love with the adorable boy in front of you, if that could be even possible.
You nodded.
“Everyday, for as long as you want me near you.” you said quietly as well.
He shifted on the bed, snuggling closer to the blankets, and closed his eyes, letting sleep wash over him.
“Forever, then.” he mumbled, and, soon afterwards, began snoring softly.
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stararch4ngelqueen · 11 months
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Domestic Jason coming home from patrol (through a window preferably 🤭) to you singing and cleaning the apartment
Ima put Latina housewife (me) twist but imagine whatever song you want. Sorry this was too short!
Time Written - 7:14 p.m
The bedroom window was open, cream curtains ballooning outboards due to the warm, nightly breeze.
A smell of fresh cleaning products waffed through his nose when he hauls himself inside, catching glances of faint damp patches slowly drying along the hardwood floors.
Loud music played from the kitchen on a propped up tablet, not loud enough to disturb your neighbors, but just enough to prevent you hearing the heavy impact of his boot soles leaving prints along your freshly cleaned floor.
A smile automatically forms on his face at the sight of his girl mopping the kitchen tiles, wearing flops to keep your feet from getting wet. Nearby was a grey bucket half full with a concoction of diluted cleaning ingredients and warm water.
Not a single nerve in Jason’s body wanted to interrupt your work; especially your singing. Believing you were alone, coupling with the loud choice of tunes, you sang along to the lyrics without as much of a care in the world, especially when you believed your singing was awful.
You were his midnight songbird, that’s for sure. He adored your singing voice, even when you missed a few words or exhaled a few things in off pitch. It mattered little to him.
You clearly sang a lot better than he could possibly dance, that’s for certain.
It wasn’t long before you caught witness of red through the corner of your eye whilst you turned, brushing the mop over the same spot along the front of the stove.
“Look all you want, can’t touch without a price,” you tease after standing fully, using your volume buttons on your watch to control the connected tablet’s settings.
“Already put a ring on it, so it’s all free.” Came his quick reply, his smirk still hidden behind his mask.
You’d roll your eyes and scoff, under the supposed assumption that you were too disheveled in the midst of cleaning to receive these words from him.
Again, he didn’t care how you looked or what you were doing.
“Wanna help me with the last bit?” You motioned towards the un-mopped area by your front door.
Out of nowhere, he shifts his gaze elsewhere, purposefully stretching out his arms over his head whilst emitting a loud, over-exaggerated false yawn.
“Actually, think I’m gonna hit it early.”
“Jason,” you call him out, making him laugh and throw his arms back down.
Heavy boots lightly squeak against clean floor when he treads closer as you return the mop to its bucket, hugging your waist close once get got a hold of you.
“Missed you, babygirl.”
“Missed you too,” you smile, amused by his sudden burst of affection. You watch him unclasp his mask, pulling off the front to reveal his ever so handsome face. Dark, slightly silvery curls dampened with sweat nearly cling to his forehead, adding onto his rugged attraction you craved to see every night.
“Could listen to that sweet voice all night,” he hums against your cheek after pressing a kiss against it, trailing down along your neck. “How’s about singin’ a song for me later, hmm?”
Involuntary giggles left you when he found those ticklish, sensitive spots along your skin.
Questions on why he was home at this hour left your mind, all replaced by the feeling him peppering your neck with kisses. His faint stubble added onto the devilishly sweet sensation, making you forget your task.
It wasn’t until he pulled away, your unjustly habit of looking him up and down in his body clinging uniform made you quickly catch his mistake; one he attempted to hide in between pretty comments and loving gestures.
“Your boots got mud all over the floor!”
Jason’s laughter involuntarily grew a lot louder when you chased after him. A sight that every single cape wearing hero would talk about for ages if witnessed. “M’sorry! I’ll clean it up, babe!”
“You better, Jason Todd!”
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hypewinter · 1 year
Text
Alrighty so what if there are two sets of Anti Ecto Acts? The first set is fake. They were close to being passed but the Justice League swiftly put a stop to that. A slippery slope to repealing meta rights and all. But the acts almost being passed inboldened some individuals. In addition, Amity Park was already pretty disconnected from the outside world. Basically, it was easy for these individuals to form the GIW and pull up to Amity Park, claiming they were a legit branch of government while implementing an iron curtain around the small town.
It takes a while but Danny and co eventually find this out. Now none of the threats the GIW are spouting are working. However that also means none of the promises Vlad is spouting are working anymore either. This makes him desperate, because these promises of protection from the government were one of the ways he was keeping Danny under his control (ish). And desperation fuels a man to do something very very stupid.
Put simply, he decides if the Anti Ecto Laws aren't real, he's going to make them real. So he hides the acts in some sort of border control bill, overshadows a bunch of politicians, and gets them passed. That's how you get the Anti Ecto Acts part 2 that pose a very real threat. However because the Justice League already thinks it's taken care of, they brush any mention of them off like a bad joke. This is why all calls from Amity Park are automatically filed away under "Prank Calls".
They continue to ignore these calls and the town until the Ghost King eventually takes action against humanity.
629 notes · View notes
Text
I read this amazing idea and this sorta wrote itself. I hope it's everything you were hoping for @piratefishmama
"ugh. fuck," Steve groaned into his pillow. He'd never felt worse.
What the hell happened last night?
It was dark, but there was daylight trying to peek through the curtains, so it must be morning.
Wait. Curtains?
Steve didn't own curtains, and neither did Robin.
Steve tried to focus his alcohol-soaked brain on his surroundings; he was in a hotel room, that much was obvious, and there was a napkin sitting under last night's wine glass on the bedside table, but as he reached over to rescue it, Steve caught a glimpse of a ring on his finger. Weird. Steve didn't often wear jewellery, rarely ever wore rings but... ah! Vegas!
Of course! Their post-firing Vegas trip. Steve turned his head on the pillow and automatically regretted it.
"ugh. robin," Steve murmured, "Robin," he tried a bit louder. She was still ignoring him, curled up in all the blankets, sleeping peacefully when Steve was suffering. Such a blanket hog, Steve thought churlishly. "ROBIN! Ow, fuck!" Steve hid his face back in his pillow, shouting was not the way to go.
"stop yelling," the body in the blankets grouched. Because holy fuck that most definitely was not Robin! "Who the fuck is Robin?" the guy groaned, finally deigning to stick his head out of the covers.
Steve lifted his head and blinked owlishly. That was a face he most definitely did not know. Jesus Christ! Steve launched himself upright, only just realising that he was fucking starkers in bed with a complete stranger. "Who the fuck are you?"
The guy had the nerve to smirk as Steve tried and failed to cover his modesty, but at least had the decency to pretend to be removing the sleep from his eyes in order to give him a modicum of privacy.
"Eddie," he introduced with a half-wave, that stupid grin still gracing his lovely features, "wha' 'bout you, Big Boy?" Eddie asked, cheekily waggling his eyebrows at Steve.
Steve could feel the blush burning his cheeks, he didn’t have control of enough of his faculties to deal with this, going home and pretending this never happened seemed like a great idea right about now. Steve slid himself to the edge of the bed, placing his head delicately in his hands, gearing himself up to get moving, preferably without seeing the contents of his stomach. “Steve,” he muttered.
He could hear movement from the other side of the bed, the sheets moving sounding like Eddie was rolling a dumper truck through the room, followed by a blissful silence that was only broken by a quiet "err, Steve?"
"yeah?" he whispered, not that it really did anything to ease the throbbing in his skull.
Eddie moved again and when Steve looked over, Eddie had leaned across the bed onto the pillow Steve had vacated, trying to get a better look at his hunched form, worrying his lip. Odd, he doesn't seem the type. "You aren't- are you? Wearing a ring?"
Huh? Steve's eyebrows scrunched together, he's not exactly used to waking up in bed with a stranger, but minor lifestyle choices aren't one of Steve's main concerns right now. "Yeah. Why? Men can't wear jewellery?" Steve sniped.
Eddie rolled his eyes so hard he was in danger of losing them, lifting both hands to show Steve the many rings he wore on his fingers. "No. Don't be dense!" Eddie reproached, waited a moment and sighed deeply at Steve's visible confusion, "Look at the finger it's on."
Shifting his left hand in front of his face, Steve glared at the plain gold band glinting up at him from his ring finger. It took a second but when the realisation finally dawned it knocked all the breath out of him, "oh. shit."
Steve looked over at Eddie wide-eyed to find him nodding in agreement with the sentiment. "Yeah. Oh. Shit." Eddie echoed.
This just didn't make sense! It'd been a long time since Steve had consumed so much alcohol, he probably hadn't been that drunk since high school, yet somehow someone thought he was in a fit state to enter into a legal contract! "I don't even- they can't've let us? We were drunk!"
Eddie just shrugs, doesn't look even nearly upset enough for Steve's liking. Steve glares at him trying to convey how insane this situation is, Eddie just gives him a look that says "it is what it is". Steve continued glaring, an internal monologue of this is insane, why aren't you freaking out? I'm freaking out! We're strangers and now we're married and oh god we're gonna have to get divorced! I'm gonna be divorced! I don't wanna be divorced! which clearly just frustrates him because Eddie just throws his hands in the air and shouts, "We're in Vegas!"
And suddenly all the fight sucks out of Steve, he slumps back over covering his face with his hands, feeling the slide of metal against his cheek and mutters "fuck. we're in vegas."
But he didn't come here alone! Robin! His best friend and platonic soul mate. And oh how Steve adores her because she's smart, she'll know what to do! "I need to find Robin!" Steve decides, jumping up off the bed, and immediately standing perfectly still so the room stops spinning. I just need to get dressed and find Robin, she'll know how to fix this!
Eddie still hasn't moved from his spot, lounging elegantly across the pillows, the sheet draped gracefully over him like some kind of artist's model. He raises a judgemental eyebrow at Steve, "Robin?"
Unhooking his jeans from the lampshade, Steve grins at Eddie, he's not the first person to assume they're an item. "My best friend," Steve clarifies, but Eddie doesn't look convinced, if anything he looks even more pissed off, his face doing that complicated, pissed off, 'I'm assuming I'm being lied to', twist snarl.
Steve looks, really looks, at Eddie. Steve doesn't know much about him, other than the fact that he's incredibly pretty because really eyes that big and beautiful should only be allowed on magazine covers! He's completely covered in tattoos, which is so hot, not to mention those rings! And he's cheeky as fuck and absolutely unafraid to stand up for himself, which is a first for Steve. People who don't know him usually find him a little intimidating, which is insane, but Robin assures him it's a them thing, not a him thing. And although that's barely anything to know about a person, Steve'd already dearly love to know who'd dare to hurt him, he'd just like to chat, honest. "She's a lesbian," he adds, just to really drive his point home.
It seems to surprise Eddie, his eyebrows shoot up before he grins back at Steve, all teeth and sparkling eyes, trying to hide his face in his mane! Because that's really the only way to describe the majesty of his hair. And oh he's blushing, that's adorable. Eddie clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter, "oh. Yeah. I should probably find Chris," he agrees like he's saying what he's thinking out loud, quickly clarifying, "she also likes women."
They're smiling gently at one another when the phone starts to ring, Steve striding back to the bedside to answer it, hearing Robin shout "Steveeeeee!!"
That sets the ringing off in Steve's ears again, ow! "Robin, shh!" Steve chastises.
Robin's uninhibited by Steve's grouchiness, "I just wanted to say... Congratulations!" she singsongs.
"You know about that?!" Steve's utterly bewildered, surely she wouldn't...
"We were there!" she shouts excitably, as though she'd personally been invited to Area 51, instead of witnessing something as stupid as Steve getting married, while too drunk to even remember the name of his husband.
husband! Steve thinks pathetically.
"we?" he asks meekly, hoping beyond hope he hadn't done something ridiculous like invite his mother or his ex.
"Me and Chris!" Robin shouts, in the background he hears another voice woo-hoo and then say something incomprehensible that makes Robin giggle.
Steve sighs, rolls his eyes because of course! And purposefully catching his eye, smiles exasperatedly at Eddie, "they're together," he informs him.
Eddie snorts a laugh and shrugs, "makes sense," he murmurs as though this is all completely normal behaviour. Maybe it is for them, Steve doesn't bloody know.
Turning back to his phone conversation, Steve asks, "Why'd you let me do that, Rob?" It comes out as whiny and pathetic as he feels, forcefully rubbing his forehead to try to ease the tension building there.
Robin barks a laugh, and she's right it is funny, no one's ever been able to stop Steve from doing anything he set his mind to. Doesn't mean he doesn't want someone else to blame for the fact that he doesn't remember his own wedding and that he's going to be divorced before he's thirty!
"You're in LOVE, Stevie! Who am I to stand in the way of love?"
Robin always manages to explain the most bizarre things as though they're completely ordinary, making them sound almost reasonable. It baffles Steve every damn time. Like she just said "You were sick Steve, so I took you to the doctor" instead of "You're in love with someone you met yesterday, so the obvious solution was a drunken wedding"!
Steve sighed, trying not to be annoyed with her, "Bobbie, I met Eddie less than 24 hours ago! What am I, a fucking Disney Princess?" the vitriol soaking his words would've upset most people, but Robin never flinched, even when he was being the world's biggest dick.
He could practically hear her eye roll through the phone, "No Dingus, you're not a Princess!" she sounded almost sympathetic for a second, but she couldn't hold back the bubble of laughter, "You're a King!" she proclaimed, cackling so hard she snorted.
She hadn't let up about "King Steve" since she’d found his yearbook, signed by all his dickhead "friends". She thought high school cliques were ridiculous, thought prom was even worse, and the idea that Steve had been so popular he'd been elected as an imaginary sovereign as part of their fabricated hierarchy had her rolling around the floor laughing for a solid ten minutes.
"Jesus Christ!" Steve muttered pinching the bridge of his nose, nothing was ever as funny as she thought it was when she was drunk, especially not when she was funny-drunk and he wasn't nearly drunk enough.
Robin stopped laughing abruptly and gasped as though she'd forgotten something. "Steve. Stevie. Evievievie! Guess what, I haven't been to bed yet!" she declared proudly. Steve had no idea what time it was, but as far as he knew the last time she'd slept had been on the plane, and that hadn't exactly been for very long.
"Maybe it's time for bed then?" Steve reasoned, trying to hold on to the last of his patience.
"No! Nooo, I'm with a girl," she whispered conspiratorially. oh jesus! Like he didn't know that!
He was far too sober for this Robin, it was fine when she'd do it in a club, wander over and be all "Steve, I've been dancing with a girl!" mainly because he was drunk enough to join in with her level of wonderment (even though he'd just watched her do it). Right now though, with the weight of his life choices on his shoulders, trying to wrangle his best friend was driving him slightly mad.
"I know," he whispered back. He could hear the pings and dings of the casino in the background, but other than her gentle breathing, Robin had gone suddenly eerily quiet.
He was just about to ask if she'd nodded off upright (it wouldn't be the first time) when Robin and Chris whined loudly, "We're bored, Steve!" jesus fuck! He had to move the phone away from his ear, so his skull didn't crack open. The fact that they said it simultaneously being equal parts creepy and adorable.
It was then that Eddie's stomach rumbled noisily, he'd been quiet and still the whole time Steve was on the phone, not even looking in his direction apart from when Steve spoke directly to him. That was until Steve's stomach grumbled in agreement, Eddie glancing up at Steve through his lashes, amusement dancing in his eyes and god when he smiled like that!
When was the last time any of them ate? Robin hadn't shut up about Vegas' newest waffle place (that had basically inspired the whole trip) since she'd heard about it from Gina in accounting. Maybe some food would do them all some good.
"What about some breakfast?" Steve suggested, he still had his eyes locked with Eddie's and found he wasn't just talking to Robin. Eddie nodded coyly, getting off the bed to gather his clothes from wherever they'd been flung.
"Oooh!! That's a great idea! You're so smart, Steve! I love you!" Robin squealed in his ear and Steve yanked his eyes away from Eddie as he sauntered naked around the room, staring purposefully at the napkin on the bedside, absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger.
"I love you, too. You going for waffles?"
Steve liked to check in, it wasn't that he thought Robin was incapable of taking care of herself. He just worried. The love he felt for his found family had a depth he'd never thought himself capable of, and Steve didn't even know who he'd be without Robin by his side.
But Robin always knew him better than he knew himself, could practically taste the pensive thoughts through the line, "We're going for waffles, Dingus! Don't forget your husband!" she yelled and hung up.
"jesus fucking christ!" he muttered to himself, putting the phone down.
A husband! Steve didn't even have a job, let alone a career, but he somehow now had a husband. And the thing was, Steve couldn't even say he hated the idea. He didn't particularly like the idea of marrying someone he couldn't remember knowing, but he knew he'd always been one to fall too hard, too fast. His fuckbuddies were different, he could separate his emotions from sex under that context but the moment an actual relationship was mentioned suddenly Steve was all-in.
Maybe Eddie was an all-in kinda guy too?
Eddie had seemed flustered at first but he relaxed into it pretty quickly. It was intriguing to meet someone so laidback and spontaneous. Steve and Robin were always pretty happy-go-lucky, jumping from job to job without giving it much thought. But out of everyone they knew, they seemed to be the outliers, it was nice to meet such a free spirit.
Not that Steve had always been this way, of course, it was all Robin's good influence. From as small as he could remember his parents had brought him up to care more about what everyone else thought, than about his own thoughts, wants and opinions and honestly, it had him wound tighter than a springboard for the first twenty years of his life.
It was Robin who'd taught him that it was okay to do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, that what he wanted mattered. It took a while but she got him to get to know himself, the real him, not the guy his parents wanted him to be. Steve kinda hoped he’d be able to get to know Eddie, like really get to know him, beyond just breakfast with their respective best friends.
Speaking of, Steve looked around to find Eddie had left the bathroom door wide open, a clear invitation to join him. Steve faltered for a second because they should probably talk first but honestly, it'd been a long time since Steve had felt as good as he did when Eddie smiled at him and he was kind of sick of denying himself things that felt good.
Fuck it!
As he shuffled towards the bathroom, Steve rescued the rest of his clothes from the floor, his shirt was still tucked inside his jacket, dropped carelessly just inside the room door. A vision flashed in Steve's mind, he and Eddie in the lift, he was shirtless and rutting against Eddie as they frantically made out, watching in the mirror behind him as Eddie licked and nibbled down his neck.
Holy shit! Steve had only ever that horny for someone in public in the relative privacy of a club bathroom stall. Anyone could've joined them in that elevator, hell there might've been someone in there with them, he didn't think there was but he couldn't remember. They were lucky they hadn't been arrested! Anywhere else and they might've been, but luckily Vegas was well known as the City of Sin. Hopefully, the hotel security were just used to it.
There was steam pouring from the bathroom by the time he'd pulled himself from his musings, the mirror above the sink showing nothing but a blurry outline of himself, not that he needed it to know he looked rough. The shower door, like the bathroom one, had purposefully been left wide open, steam billowing out along with Eddie's voice.
Because Eddie was singing, loud and angelic, over the sounds of the shower. It wasn't a song Steve recognised, something about the sun, the moon and a seal, Eddie could've been making it up for all he knew. Not that Steve cared, it was sublime. Pulling him in like a siren song, Steve couldn't help himself, he just kept inching closer.
And as heavenly as Eddie’s voice was, which was truly one of the most exquisite voices Steve had ever heard. It was nothing in comparison to the vision Steve was greeted with as he finally reached the shower. Eddie had his head tipped back, rinsing Steve's expensive shampoo out of his hair, the length of his neck alone had Steve salivating. There was a little tattoo poking out from under his earlobe that was practically begging to be investigated. And a single freckle sitting just to the left of his sternum that he felt the overwhelming urge to lick.
Steve didn't get more than a cursory glance at the rest of him because it was then that Eddie straightened up as though he'd sensed Steve's presence. As he wiped the excess water from his face with his hands, Steve noticed that Eddie had removed all of his rings except the shiny gold band that joined them, almost like he hadn't wanted to take it off.
Another vision came to him, of him sliding that very ring onto Eddie's finger, of him taking Eddie's hand and kissing the still cold metal, glancing up at a grinning, misty-eyed Eddie through his lashes, an overwhelming surge of joy exploding through his chest.
It made Steve giddy and he was suddenly unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face, Eddie beamed back, warm and inviting, little droplets of water catching in his eyelashes from the pressure of the spray hitting his skin as he'd watched Steve remember.
The breath was knocked out of him when he immediately felt the overwhelming need to touch Eddie, to be in his space, to kiss him so thoroughly that neither of them knew where one of them began and the other one ended.
And Eddie must be some kind of mind reader because a truly mischievous look overtook his features as he reached out his ringed hand to Steve's to yank him under the torrent and into his arms, giggling cheekily when he pushed Steve back against the freezing cold shower wall, happily swallowing Steve's shocked gasp.
Part 2
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wisteriaiswriting · 4 months
Note
Some stuff about Ana, Torb, and Asa reacting to their children making out with their tall and beefy boyfriend while he's holding them by the thighs
ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥'𝕤 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟
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She won’t say anything when she first catches you two.
Only making the slightest noise that you both can pick up on.
But depending on how she feels, her teasing might start at that moment or later.
Otherwise she’ll let you two run off with a warning about ‘being in the open’ (You both were in a booked, private room.)
Either way she will make plenty of comments about ‘keeping safe’ and ‘how she always wanted grandkids.’
***
Fareeha’s hair had come undone quickly into the session, which allowed it to fall around you, acting as a curtain. Blocking you two from the outside world, working with the blood rushing in both of your ears. Which stopped the sound of the door sliding open from reaching your ears.
When you finally pulled back, her hair let a small amount of sight to return. The clashing colour of bright blue against the gray of the walls sent you reeling back, turning your head to find Ana standing in the doorway.
“Mother!”
Ana only shook her head before stepping back, her hand was still in the doorway.
“Stay safe you two, I don’t need anymore young ones running around.”
Letting the door slide shut again before it locked automatically, causing you both to stay in silence as her words sunk in.
“Young ones, huh?”
“Absolutely not.”
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Torbjörn starts yelling immediately.
Please don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t care at all about you two dating.
Just keep your romance outside any of his workshops.
His abrupt entrance scares you both so you back away, but not to the point of dropping her.
He’ll send her off to continue working on her own projects, but drags you to his own workshop.
Keeps you around the room to work with him for the rest of the day.
Surely this teaches you to do this outside the workshop.
***
Brigittes fingers curled in your hair, keeping you close and unable to pull away. Not that you’d want to anyways. Your own hands tightened their grip on her thighs, while her other arm stayed wrapped around your neck. As you two were so far in the moment neither of you registered the door sliding open, much less the person entering.
“Brigitte, Y/N, not in the workshop!”
Feeling even more blood rush up to your face as you both pulled away, her fingers falling from your hair onto your chest. She couldn’t even face her father at this point, with her face falling into your neck.
“DAD!”
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Most of the time Kiriko notices when someone is near, so the chance of being caught is so low.
Either way Asa makes sure her presence is known, whether it’s on accident or not, who knows?
But she is so quick to scold the both of you, mainly targeting Kiriko. (Don’t try to escape her though.)
***
She was riled up, and even though you held her up in your arms, she kept control. Her nails scrape through your hair and over your scalp, slowly guiding you back towards the wall. Her voice purred through your ears, although she suddenly paused. Lifting her head as she turned towards the door, clearing hearing someone or something nearby.
“What's wrong now, Vixen?”
Her hands stilled on your shoulders, but unable to respond in time as the door was opened. Revealing her mum, who also didn’t expect to see… this. Turning her own head away as Kiriko jumped from your arms in a flustered state, even you didn’t dare to try make eye contact with her.
“Kiriko, what have I said about this!”
“Mum, you weren’t meant to see that!”
“Clearly.”
After a few seconds she turned back towards you two, scanning over your mostly clean state.
“I was going to invite you two out for dinner, but it seems you're busy.”
“No we aren’t!”
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Text
Just Let Me Love You
Nanami Kento x Reader
(Song Inspiration: Daddy Issues Remix by The Neighborhood, Syd)
Some suggestive between you and Nanami.
Some cursing, mention of suicide.
You couldn’t stop thinking about him. You questioned why you got yourself involved with him in the first place. Was it because of his soft, blonde hair? The intense look in his brown eyes? Or maybe his height and built physique? And the voice? His deep voice just sends shivers down your spine. And his soft touch? It made your skin tingle.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you cursed quietly to yourself on your way home from work.
He was all you ever think about all night at work. It was unlike you to mentally be in another world at work. But him? He got you in a different way that you can’t explain. You hated it. It was new and you didn’t like the unknown.
“You’re back on time again.” You wondered if it was your imagination when you opened the door to your apartment. But seeing him next to you with his beige suit, orange-black spotted tie, and blue button up made you realize that you weren’t in your own world. He was really there, about to leave for work.
“You’re leaving early,” you said. Nanami smirked.
“Trying to avoid overtime hours,” he said.
“I’d think that you’re following me around,” you said back, hiding the nerves in your voice. “This is being common for a while now, Kento.” Nanami shrugged and leaned in closer to you.
“Maybe it’s because I just like seeing you before I leave for a long day of work,” he said softly by your ear. You felt the shivers, but this time, you felt your body shake from his warm breath. His hand reached up to your face and he stroked his fingers down gently on your cheek. “I missed you.”
“I can’t say the same myself,” you said, your voice slightly trembling. You mentally cursed to yourself. Nanami chuckled softly.
“I’ll pretend that you don’t mean that, sweetheart,” he said.
“I have a name,” you said sternly. The stern tone was automatic. It made you wince. But Nanami stood there, unaffected.
“I know,” he said. “But, it’s very fitting for you. Maybe darling? How about dear? Love?
“Sweetheart’s fine,” you said in slight defeat. You truthfully enjoy it. But you didn’t want to admit it to him. Nanami chuckled as his lips trailed close yours.
“I’ll see you later then, sweetheart,” he said softly and slightly seductively. You lost control and pulled his tie to crash his lips to yours. You pulled him inside, before eagerly removing his jacket off his shoulders.
You woke up to the sunlight shining through your curtains. You groaned, feeling soar in between your legs. When you opened your eyes, you found a small note on your nightstand.
I knew you missed me, sweetheart. Sleep well.
Kento.
You groaned, your face buried in your pillow. You know you give in too easily. It wasn’t often, but you let Nanami take you that easily to bed. And he’s the only one who knows what you needed in bed. He knew how to arouse you in ways you didn’t think could arouse you.
You shook your head. You don’t want to admit your feelings. Even when you first met him a year ago, you didn’t want to admit it. But he stayed consistent. Always greeting you when the two of you passed each other. Always offering to help you when you were carrying groceries, even if it’s just one small bag. Always throwing in sweet compliments that you respond back in a negative way but still blush and secretly feel good about.
You heard your cell phone go off with a text notification. You covered your body with your silk robe and walked over to the kitchen counter where the thrown scrubs were now neatly folded on to the chair and your phone on the counter.
Father: Spare me some money?
You scoffed, immediately deleting the text message. The only time he would contact you. And you kept your word years ago to ignore him.
Anger was building up. You hoped a cold shower would help. But after the shower, you still felt the irritation in the pit of your stomach. The way he hurt your mother emotionally as he constantly saw other women. But you also hated how she stayed. So many opportunities to leave, but never did. And you could’ve leave her even though she left you.
“Bastard!” You slammed your fist against the counter. A few seconds later, a knock on your door was heard. You quietly gasped to see Nanami. You can see the concern and worry in his eyes. You couldn’t tell if you hated that look. Almost like the way he made you feel. You hated it too.
“You alright?” he asked. You checked the time on your phone.
“You’re early,” you said, avoiding his question. Nanami gave you a soft smile.
“I left early after our rendezvous so I can leave early,” he replied. He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the forehead. It was quick yet you can feel the warmth lingering. “But, are you alright?”
“Yeah,” you answered curtly. He could see how tense your body is. Your expression was too serious. Your voice sounded a bit cold. So in response, he nodded.
“I’m ordering take out,” he said. “You want?” You shook your head.
“Thank you, though.”
“It’s sushi.” You couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh.
“How cruel to use my weakness against me, Kento,” you said teasingly. He lightly laughed with you, his hand rubbing the back of his head and neck.
“Well, I’m going to wash up before I order. If you’re not over in 20 minutes, I’m ordering without you. My door will be open for you. See you later, sweetheart.”
Another forehead kiss before he left. You watched him walk further down the hallway before turning to his door. He didn’t look back, and you took the opportunity to adore him until he entered inside and closed the door.
Don’t go. Do not.
But you’re not one to listen to your advice as you walked inside his apartment in a pair of shorts, long sleeves, socks, and slides. Nanami smiled and greeted you on the couch where he looked over at the menu. You took your shoes off and took a seat next to him, leaning in closer to him so you could read the menu. Your head rested on his shoulder as you did.
“I want those two rolls,” you said. “I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”
“It’s on me,” he said with a smile. “Appetizer?” You softly smiled.
“Dumplings. And I’m still paying you back.”
“Money doesn’t have to be the only way to pay me back, sweetheart,” he mentioned.
“I can’t pay you back with sex.” Nanami lightly laughed.
“I’ll let you know what you can do for me, sweetheart.”
His hand rested on your thigh as he made the phone call. Your head remained on his shoulder. Your eyes were closed, enjoying the sound of his voice. All the irritation you felt simmered away. You sighed with relief and let your arms wrap around his.
Just for tonight.
You kept your word. Back to being “friendly” and yet sleeping together when the opportunity occurs. You tried to keep your emotions in check. You tried to lock it away and never officiate anything with Nanami. But the moment you see him, you were willing to unlock those emotions but use sex to make up for it.
You were off from work for a week. Despite the torture of working several 12-hour shifts in a row, it felt rewarding. A long week off is what you needed. Music played in the background in your apartment. You showered once you woke up, wearing a pair of shorts and a grey crew neck. You suddenly decided that it was time to deep clean.
It took you a good twenty minutes to create the perfect playlist for your cleaning mood. And then another fifteen minutes to gather your cleaning supplies. And why not, you wasted another ten minutes figuring out where to clean first.
Living room!
The sudden knock on your door made you jump. You paused and looked at the time. Early for Nanami to arrive home, but he is the only one that comes over.
“Coming!” you yelled and put everything down. You washed your hands before opening the door. Your eyes widened at the sight of your father. Your heart raced. Your palms got sweaty. Your body trembled.
“You little shit,” he cursed irritably.
“H-How did you find me?” you asked with fear and hesitation.
“I have my ways,” he mumbled darkly. “Too busy fucking with guys to even give me your time of day?”
He hit a switch, and the fear suddenly left. Memories of how he mistreated your mother. Memories of how he mistreated you. You felt your anger boiling in the pit of your stomach. How you wanted to yell at him but didn’t want to cause a scene. How you wanted to slam the door at his face but felt it wouldn’t do justice for you.
“You were too busy fucking with other women while my mother was suffering because of you. You yell and hit me when I make small mistakes or misheard you. Your cheating made my mother depressed that she overdosed and killed herself. Do you even deserve my time of day?” you said calmly, almost too calm. You were surprise yourself. Not even the hard slap to the face that came after surprised you.
“You little—what the hell?!” He looked up to see Nanami coldly stare at him while Nanami held his wrist tightly. Nanami towered over him that made your father cower.
“I called the cops,” Nanami said when he looked at you. You looked up, appearing stoic as if the whole situation didn’t bother you. The sound of the elevator was heard and Nanami turned and smirked. “Perfect timing.”
And you watched your father trying to escape the policemen’s grasp. He yelled and cursed at you. It was nothing new. You grew numb to it.
And it somehow made Nanami worry. The two of you stood there in silence. He didn’t know what to do nor say. It felt like forever, but eventually you looked up at him. Your expression soft like it usually is.
“How long were you standing there?” you asked curiously while gesturing him to come inside. Nanami walked inside and took his shoes off before walking towards the couch.
“When you asked him how he found you,” he answered. “That’s when I called the cops.” You sat down next to him. You kept your distance, the two of you sitting on the opposite ends of the couch. “Is that why you keep a certain boundary from me? Abusive father? You, a little girl, that doesn’t know what it’s like to have one?” You swallowed a large lump in your throat and gave him a smile that almost irritated him.
“It’s like you know me so well, Kento,” you replied. But as quick as you smiled, you frowned. “And my mother got too depressed to pay attention to me. I took my turn to protect her until she died. Once she did, I left. This is my sixth apartment.” His eyes widened in shock.
“He kept searching for you for that long?”
“He’s an alcoholic. He ended up using women for money,” you said. “And he knows I have money. I used to give him money for the first year. But why should I? Right?”
“Right.” It was silent again.
“How was work?” You couldn’t stand the silence. It only made you assume that Nanami pities you. It was the last thing you wanted from him. Because you were okay.
I’m okay. I’m okay.
“Busy,” he answered.
“Mentoring? Or missions?” Nanami chuckled. Despite your lack of cursed energy, you find his job to be the most normal thing ever. You always thought it was a cool job. Despite how scary it can be.
“Both,” he answered with a soft smiled.
You appreciate Nanami. He spends time with you as if that day never happened, despite the slight protectiveness you noticed from him. But it never bothered you. You quickly grew accustomed to it.
And right now, the two of you lied naked in his bed. He held you tightly, your back pressed against his strong chest. You had a rough night at work. He decided to comfort you when he came back from work. You never asked for it, but you let him.
“When I was fifteen, my father cheated on my mother and divorced her,” Nanami said. “He wasn’t the best father but he wasn’t a bad one. I took care of my mother and I swore to myself that I need to love and protect the ones I love.”
“Where is she now?” you asked. You could feel your heart race and you wonder if he could feel your racing heart. Nanami softly kissed your bare shoulder.
“She is back in Denmark with her new husband,” he answered. Nanami smiled.
“Wow, new husband,” you said with a small smile on your face. “She must be so happy.”
“She is. The happiest she has ever been.” You turned around to face him.
“You’re implying something, Kento,” you said. Nanami softly chuckled and kissed your forehead.
“You’re too observant, sweetheart,” he said.
“You’re too obvious, darling,” you replied teasingly. “Why me?” You were suddenly serious. You were too vulnerable right now. He can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice.
“I just know, sweetheart,” he answered. “I couldn’t pull away when I first saw you. You wore your navy blue scrubs and you unlocked your door tiredly. And even though you were tired, you greeted me as cheerfully as you could. Your hair messy in a bun, uniform wrinkled, eyes tired yet bright. You were so beautiful.”
“Sweet talker,” you mumbled, hiding your face in his chest.
“You know I don’t lie.”
“I know that.” It was quiet for a brief moment.
“I never felt this spark before,” he said. “And I know that you feel the same. And I didn’t want to push it and just let you take the lead. Even if I was just used for sex.” You pushed yourself up and leaned against your arm. Nanami did the same, his elbow on the mattress while his head rested on his palm. You gave him a puzzled look. “You’re the most guarded woman I have ever met. You don’t think I don’t see your internal conflict?”
“It’s that obvious?” Nanami nodded. He reached out to caress your cheek.
“When you’re ready to progress our relationship, I’ll be here,” he said softly. Your heart raced. You swallowed another lump in your throat as you stared at him wide eyed.
“I-I need to go,” you whispered and quickly stood up and got dressed. Nanami watched you scrambled around the bedroom. And without a word, you left.
You quickly entered inside your dark apartment. When you closed the door, you slid down to the floor and hugged your knees tightly to your chest. You let your tears fall. Somehow, it was too overwhelming for you.
Nanami’s confession.
And you knew you liked him back. Probably even more. The more you were accepting your feelings towards him, you became fearful. Fearing that he will up and leave you. Fearing that you could end up like your own mother. The fear that made you want to stay alone but can’t because of Nanami Kento.
You breathed heavily in your sobs. You placed your hand on your chest. You felt panicked.
One…two…three…one…two…three…
One more deep breath and you quietly sat there. You took in the silence and the darkness. You focused on your breathing. You felt your body slightly relaxing.
“Sweetheart?”
You jumped. You weren’t that ready to confront him. You wiped your tears away and turned on the lights before opening the door. Nanami immediately kissed you. An urgent yet passionate kiss that was different from the previous shared ones.
Just let him. Just do it.
Your body relaxed and you melted in the kiss. One of the best feelings you felt in a long time. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you stood on your toes. Nanami pulled away and let himself inside your apartment.
“I want you,” you said. “Not just for sex.” You mumbled the last statement and avoided eye contact. You took a deep breath.
One…two…three…one…two…three…
“You’re right. You were right about everything. I’m just scared. Scared that you’ll leave me. I’m scared that I’ll end up like my mother so if I stay alone, I won’t be like her. I keep my feelings bottled up. But whenever I’m with you, I want to tell you I want more. But I use sex to stop myself to make anything more intimate. Everything’s so overwhelming, Kento.” You felt smaller than ever as you stood close to him. Nanami gently cupped your face so you would stop avoiding his eyes. When you looked at him, all you could see was his soft smile and happiness in his eyes.
“We’ll make things work,” he said. “I will stay patient with you. Everything that I do now won’t change. I can do more for you. All I need you to do is to let me in. I’m not going to push you unless I need to.” You let your tears escape your eyes that Nanami immediately wiped them away with his thumbs. You nodded, the lump in your throat preventing you from speaking. Nanami leaned in and kissed your forehead.
“Promise? Don’t give up on me,” you said so quietly. If he wasn’t so close, he wouldn’t have heard you. Nanami softly kissed your lips.
“I promise sweetheart,” he said. “Now, would you like me to set up a hot bath for you?” You couldn’t help but chuckle. You wiped the rest of your tears away and nodded.
“Will you join me?”
“Of course sweetheart. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do. Okay?” And you nodded. You held his hand to lead him to the bathroom but you immediately stopped.
“Kento?” Nanami looked at you curiously. Your heart raced. You wanted to say more. But you were at lost for words that you hugged him tightly. Nanami enveloped his arms around you. You took in a deep breath, feeling everything you thought you never could feel.
Comfort. Safe. Love.
I am okay.
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rjalker · 1 year
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Edit: Can't believe the irony of me having to say this, but I do apparently have to say this: Not wanting boobs and not wanting to be seen as feminine does not mean you are, or want to be seen as masculine. I'm not transmasculine just because I don't want boobs and don't want to be seen as feminine.
You cannot read a post where the point is having boobs does not equal being feminine and go oh! right. Because not wanting boobs equals being masculine! No!! I'm not transmasculine! I'm not trying to look masculine! Kill the gender binary that has a stranglehold on your views of gender!
Stop shoving nonbinary people into a new set of binary boxes!
___
the idea that having boobs gets you automatically and inherently classified as being "female presenting" and "feminine presenting" in so-called progressive circles makes me want to maul people.
I've said this before and I'll just keep repeating it forever: I'm disabled. I can't wear a binder. If I tried I'd dislocate several ribs and that'd be the least of my worries. Like. you know why ribs not being where they're supposed to be is dangerous? Yeah. Yeah. Use your imagination. That's a real thing I have to worry about.
I can't even wear a sports bra that's several sizes """too large""" comfortably.
And yeah, I can use trans tape, but that takes concerted time and effort to put on and take off, and every time you put it on you get different results, and you might just mess it up entirely and waste it, and it can get itchy if you're sweating with it on (and it's 90 degrees almost all the time it's not actively winter here, so that's...literally unavoidable. Even sitting in the living room. Because the electric company charges an arm and a leg for AC during the summer AND won't even give you enough to actually cool your shitty tiny apartment even with all the doors shut and curtains drawn!!!!!), and it's expensive to buy more of.
And especially because this declaration of "feminine presenting" or "female presenting" that gets shoved onto you is not only misgendering you, but placing the blame on you for being misgendered for not looking not-female enough. It's no longer the speaker making incorrect assumptions, they're now literally declaring that this is a concious decision you make. You are choosing to "present" yourself this way...by having a body that you have no control over.
And even when it comes to clothes, the idea that the clothes you wear is another purposeful, conscious Presentation™ of your gender...
Even if we ignore for a moment the fact that being disabled and poor severely limits the clothes you can wear and even just have access to, what about people who literally don't get to choose what their clothes are? Kids whose parents buy their clothes for them, people whose carers choose their outfits for them?
My gender is not "sun-bleached tank top and shorts with a reflective sun hat". That's just what I wear so I don't die of heat stroke every time I set foot outside, and so that my joints are not being painfully constricted every time I move. I literally can't take my hat off outside during the day without developing a headache (or are they fucking migraines? fuck if I know!) within minutes from the sun trying to murder me from my light sensitivity. And it took me years to even realize that it was light sensitivity causing this. I remember in middle school the substitute gym teacher asked if I was a vampire because I moved to the closest shady spot every time we moved to a new area.
And like. Let's be honest. Even if I could safely wear a binder...They're fucking expensive.
It's just really fucking annoying that so many people equate binding with being trans and so many people who are supposed to be allies are just so comfortable labeling other people, who they haven't asked, as "feminine presenting" just because of the presence of boobs. Like we have any choice in the matter. Like having visible boobs just means you're asking to be misgendered.
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somfyindianew · 2 months
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cryptidghostgirl · 6 months
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A/N I have some requests in the chain above this one but wanted to post something that was a stand alone and not a part to another fic I wrote earlier because of how long I have been away. I promise the two requests lined up before this (pt 3 of till death do us part and pt 4 to cover up) will be out soon! Also, this request reminds me of Cinder by Marissa Meyer so there is some mild inspo from that in here (and loose quoting. sorry. I got carried away.).
What it Means to be a Person (Alastor x Cyborg!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Description: Y/n gave an arm and a leg to the fight against the exterminators and feels she has lost her humanity by the bionic replacements Lucifer and Charlie gifted her in return. Alastor reminds her that not all is lost, she can still dance, after all.
Warnings: Hurt//comfort. This might've ended up a little more angsty than intended and I kinda ran away with the prompt. Sorry about that.
Word Count: 2,246
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List 
Alastor Master List 
Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.
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“Imagine there was a cure, but it would cost you everything. What would you do?”
Y/n's question hung in the air of the dimly lit kitchen, echoing off the uncertainties late hours like this one always seemed to carry. Alastor froze where he stood by the stove, his hang halfway to the kettle whistling away upon it. He turned to face her where she sat at the far end of the rough hewn kitchen table, her head in her hands and her hair acting as a curtain, as a shield, hiding her face from view.
The meeting had been an accident. Alastor had found himself craving a cup of tea to accompany his late night preparations for tomorrows broadcast and when he had entered the kitchen, he had found her sitting there. Since the day Y/n had shown up at the hotel in all her bright and wild exuberance, Alastor had felt a connection with the girl. She was bubbly, a showman at heart with a soft spot for the macabre, how could he not automatically find a certain level of camaraderie with her? Everything had changed after the battle with Heaven a few weeks before.
Y/n had fought valiantly, using all her brains and brawn to protect the place she had come to call her home and the people she had discovered to be her family. The battle did not take her life, but she did give an arm and a leg to its hungry fervor. With Lucifer's help, Charlie had managed to get her an appointment with a well known doctor in Pentagram City. The man had given Y/n back her ability to stand, to reach for things, but had taken the mangled remains of her human form in the process. She had been brought back to square one, learning how to walk, to hold a pencil. She had been filled to the brim with wires that allowed her to control her new appendages.
The conversation had been an accident as well. Alastor hadn't meant to open the can of worms he was now sifting through. He had just spotted her sitting there, had casually asked how she was doing. Y/n was always so human, so much more human than he was capable of being. It was the only thing that had ever held him back from taking what he wanted, that wild and irrevocable humanity of hers.
"I would take the cure." Alastor replied after a moment, turning back to the stove and at last lifting the kettle, pouring the hot water into his favorite mug, "It would be better than the alternative."
With a decided intent in his step, he made his way over to her. The legs of the chair scraped dangerously across the floor as he pulled it out and took a seat beside her. Y/n looked up.
Alastor was shocked at what he saw. Y/n had been hiding since the battle, claiming that she was recuperating. No one had any reason to doubt her given the injuries she had sustained but now, Alastor was not so sure. Her eyes were sunken, dark circles dulling the pink of her cheeks. She was silver in the moonlight as it streamed through the window but she did not shine as she normally seemed to.
"I'm not human anymore."
Y/n's voice was cracked and raw, it only made him love her more. Out of all the creatures in Hell, she was the only one who would worry about such a thing, he was sure of it. Alastor had to stop himself from laughing, focusing on the heat of the cup held between his hands.
"You never were. You haven't been in a long time." he mused in response and Y/n sighed.
"I don't feel like a person anymore."
Again, another contradiction. Y/n was a demon, through and through. Not quite an overlord but powerful, well on her way to becoming one. There was nothing human about that in Alastor's eyes. The way he saw it, the moment a soul died they stopped being a person, no matter where in the afterlife they ended up. It was clear she would not agree. They had never talked of such matters before, it was an unexpected revelation. Alastor took a deep breath.
"Why?"
Y/n was silent, her eyes returning to the table as she traced the grains of the wood. It was unlike him, the concern, the curiosity for such an emotional matter. Alastor had long since given up on trying to make sense of the things she provoked in him. He tried again.
"How do you define being human? Is it what you look like? What you're made up of? Or is it who you are."
It was a clumsy attempt. There had been no need to provide comfort for a long time, not since Alastor had been alive. He was out of practice but, he supposed, caring for another was rather like riding a bike. Once you learned how it was done, you never really forgot.
"Who you are but..." Y/n's eyes met his once again, the conflict occuring behind them apparent.
She was unsheltered, the facade was gone. Alastor would consider himself close with the demon, closer perhaps than anyone else at the hotel but still, he had never seen her like this. His heart hurt.
"At the same time," she continued solemnly, "there is more to it than that."
"How do you define humanity?"
Y/n thought for a moment.
"Dancing. Spending time with friends, having people who care about you. Making meals together, reading books and poetry. Making art. Feeling one with the world around you, being a part of the earth we all come from."
Alastor held another laugh at bay. It wasn't out of the blue but, at the same time, there was something strange about hearing the words as they left her lips. He took a sip of his drink, the hot liquid worming its way down his throat and into his stomach.
"Doesn't the fact that you now find yourself to be inhuman at all show at least some of those?"
Y/n cocked her head to the side in confusion, her brow furrowing. Alastor sighed, leaning back in his chair.
"What I mean is that the reason you have those bionic limbs of yours at all is because you have people who care about you enough to get them for you and you cared enough about other people to give up what you originally had. If that isn't having people who care about you, spending time with friends, being one with the world around you, I don't know what is."
"But I am not of the earth any longer." Y/n ruefully replied.
"You are."
"How? I am naught but metal now. I traded steel for skin."
In the weakness of the night breeze, she seemed to slip into the skin she once wore. Flowery language, a posh, nearly transatlantic accent, shoulders straight and strong, all reminders of her upper class upbringing from so long ago. He could almost see her now as she must've been. It was a trick of the light.
"You were buried, right?"
Y/n nodded.
"I believe so. Beside my mother."
"Then you are forever of the earth."
"To the earth we must return," Y/n nodded after a moment in solemn agreement, "but I will never dance again."
Alastor had never even known it was something she had enjoyed. The time for questions was later, he got to his feet, his cup left abandoned on the table.
Alastor summoned his staff with a wave of his hand, leaning it against the sideboard as a soft song began playing from its speaker. Turning to Y/n once again, he offered her his hand. Y/n eyed it tentatively before reaching out her own to grab it.
With a shake of Alastor's head, she halted mid movement. He didn't need words to get his point across, Y/n just didn't like it. Lowering her hand, she raised the other. It was heavier, made from something other than flesh. There was an ungainly sense to the way she moved it. It didn't flow graceful through the air, it was too heavy for that. The metal of her fingers was cold and harsh against his palm as he helped her ineptly to her feet.
"Ella Fitzgerald." she mused softly, her eyes on his microphone.
"I didn't know you liked jazz."
Y/n's eyes met his once again and she gave him a half hearted smile.
"Growing up in the 1930s and being someone who held distaste towards jazz would have been an impossibility, wouldn't you agree?"
He had known she was alive sometime around the turn of the century but, that had been it. Alastor grinned from ear to ear at this subtle revelation.
"I knew there was a reason I liked you."
Letting go of her hand, Alastor took a step back. He bowed. Y/n couldn't help it, she laughed a little.
"What on earth are you doing?"
Alastor looked up at her, still bowing as their eyes met. Slowly, he straightened himself up, holding a hand out to her once again.
"Y/n, would you do me the absolute honor of sharing this dance?"
He had hoped his showmanship would make her smile, make her laugh even, the way it normally did. Instead, she withdrew her arms to her chest, taking a halting step backwards as she shook her head. Alastor's gaze softened. He had never seen her afraid before.
"Please."
"I..."
Y/n's eyes flitted wildly around the room, searching for any excuse, any fodder for her escape. At last, she relented, hesitantly placing her hand back into his own.
"Okay."
Her voice was soft, almost breathless. Alastor pulled her into him, snaking an arm around her waist as she placed her other on his shoulder.
"See?" he asked as they began to dance, "All is not lost to you."
There was nothing elegant about her movements. Y/n grimaced.
"But it is not the same either. Once I was something grand."
"Change is inevitable. You are still someone grand."
"Not change like this."
Alastor spun her out, catching Y/n in his arms as she almost tripped over the weight of her foot.
"Why do you hate it so much? Is it vanity?"
“Vanity is a factor," Y/n admitted, "but it is more a question of control. It is easier to trick others into perceiving you as beautiful if you can convince yourself you are beautiful. But mirrors have an uncanny way of telling the truth and I am not made up of the same materials I once was."
"Change is inevitable." Alastor said again and was overjoyed when Y/n rolled her eyes, smiling slightly as his response, "You're still beautiful, almost more so now."
This took her aback. The tingle of a question at the back of her mind was outweighed by shock. She stilled, still pressed close to Alastor as the music filtered softly into their ears.
"What?"
"Before you shined, but just on the inside." Alastor admitted, refusing to look away from her wide eyes even as he felt the heat rush to his cheeks, "Now you do on the outside as well, see?"
He held the hand he clasped tightly in his own up to the light streaming in through the window. The moon glinted off the silver surface of the metal, sending playful patterns scattering across the walls of the kitchen. Y/n's breath caught in her throat.
"And you can still dance. Why don't you help me with dinner tomorrow?"
It was something they had done on occasion before the extermination, cook for the inhabitants of the Hazbin Hotel together.
"Why are you doing this?"
The smile slipped from Alastor's face.
"I don't understand." Y/n shook her head, pushing herself away from Alastor and wrapping her arms around her torso, "Why are you doing all this for me?"
The answer was simple. Sometimes, the truest things in life are.
"Because I love you." he admitted, "And it pains me to see you like this."
"I..."
He had known it was too good to be true. The music stopped, his staff vanishing into thin air as quickly as it had appeared.
"I'll go. Just... make sure you get some sleep tonight, I know you havent been."
He was halfway to the door, mostly past her, when he felt the cool grip of her hand on the exposed skin of his wrist. Alastor stopped, he turned. There was a minute bravery in the act. Not that she had stopped him, that she had grabbed his arm. If anything, that was the most normal thing that had occurred all evening. No, it was the arm she had chosen to use, the one she held such conflict over and saw as something to be embarrassed about, ashamed of.
She stood tense in the moonlight, her free hand raised to her chest.
"I..."
Y/n's mind was spinning, her thoughts firing off at a thousand miles a minute. She wanted to say it, knew it was true, but something stopped her. She wasn't ready.
"Thank you, Alastor."
Alastor smiled softly, almost sadly over at her. Gently, he removed her hand from his wrist, holding it in his own and patting it gently.
"Always."
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QUOTES REFERENCED (BECAUSE I REFUSE TO STEAL OTHERS WORK EVEN FOR A FANFICTION)
“Imagine there was a cure, but it would cost you everything. What would you do?” -> taken from “Imagine there was a cure, but finding it would cost you everything. It would completely ruin your life. What would you do?” in Cinder by Marissa Meyer
“Vanity is a factor," Y/n admitted, "but it is more a question of control. It is easier to trick others into perceiving you as beautiful if you can convince yourself you are beautiful. But mirrors have an uncanny way of telling the truth and I am not made up of the same materials I once was." -> taken from “Vanity is a factor, but it is more a question of control. It is easier to trick others into perceiving you as beautiful if you can convince yourself you are beautiful. But mirrors have an uncanny way of telling the truth.” in Cinder by Marissa Meyer
TAGS:
@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170@wendyphan01203-blog @fairyv-ice @clarakainda @lunaramune @mcueveryday @luxky-aish @peterpankat @corvid007
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months
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Hey! I really appreciated what you said about minors in “nsfw” ( not the right term but idk how else to word it) spaces. Seeing people constantly throw a curtain over my eyes to try and protect my ‘innocence’ (I guess?) is super frustrating, and makes the guilt and shame I already feel around exploring/expressing my body/sexuality just that much worse. So I truly appreciate you going against that notion!!
Anyway, do you have any advice for someone who’s just started figuring this stuff out? For me, I think a constant thought running through my head is ‘an I doing this right’ specifically in regards to like, romantic/sexual feelings. Are the feelings I’m feeling actually romantic/sexual ones or do I just want to be a person who has romantic/sexual feelings? That kind of stuff
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and thanks so much again for talking about this kinda stuff!! Your blog has been an amazing resource for me
hey anon,
come in, sit down. grab a glass of water. take a deep breath.
I have great news: it is literally impossible to do any of this wrong. it's all feelings; you can't do feelings wrong! nobody gets to decide what's true about you but you, so whatever you decide on is automatically the right answer. and here's the sickest part: there can be a different right answer every month if you want. every week. hell, you can be one thing in the morning and another in the afternoon. new sexual orientation every hour, if you want. and they'll all be right. this applies to everyone, by the way, you're not special.
I mean, you are. but you're not the only person in control of your own fate this way.
I think maybe instead of stressing about the hypothetical macrolevel questions of Who You Are and What Your Deal Is and all that, maybe it's more helpful to look on the microlevel.
is that person attractive to you? in what way? do you want to spend time with them? how? as part of a group or one on one? what activities do you imagine doing with them? is this someone who you want to be emotionally close to? how do you feel if you imagine yourself in the context of a romantic relationship? what does a romantic relationship mean to you, anyway? what might you want out of that, if you want it at all? how do you feel about the idea of having sex with this person? if it's scared and stressed, don't do that! is it excitement, or at least curiosity? okay, maybe we'll check that out! or maybe not. up to you! do you want romance sound nice but not sex, or sex but not romance? awesome, that's also fine.
oh, what's that? another person? okay. now run through all of these questions again.
hang on, what now? your answers to the questions about the first person have changed based on spending more time with them and getting to know them more? incredible! information gained!
sex and romance can mean whatever you want, man (gender neutral). sometimes you just have to follow the vibes.
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