#Autism Checklist

[jesterkilljoy]

did i miss anything

[parentingvip]

[bunnydevs]

Hello! I made these this morning and thought I'd share. You can print these or use them as inspiration for your bullet journal-- whatever works for you. I made one daily cleaning checklist with suggestions and one without. Enjoy :0

I originally made these for myself (since it's easier to remember if I have something I have to physically "check" off) but realized it wouldn't hurt to share.

[zayne-s]

jumin han is autistic and i will die on this hill

[ominous-faechild]

Guys I literally JUST realized a thing about my autism/masking/alexithymia. I noticed there was an alexithymia tag here on tumblr and when I investigated, there was this one post listing these symptoms:

and I just--

I've had these exact, MAJOR struggles through my whole life for one.

But for two, and what's really interesting in my opinion...

Yesterday, I was having a video call with my mom. I've been off of some medications that I'm supposed to be taking because of financial issues, so my mental is NOT in a great place and I've had NO spoons for the past month. But while on call with her, she seriously, unironically, asked me if I thought I really needed the meds. Because, apparently, I "wasn't acting like I needed them" or something like that. And I'm sure I don't need to explain why that pissed me tf off.

But, like... at the time, the closest thing I could come up with for an answer was that "I have no spoons and no energy to do anything"; "I lived 17 years without meds, I kind-of know how to fake it"; and "I haven't had much socializing lately, so I have enough Social Energy™ to fake being okay right now."

Now that I'm not being put on the spot and after reading that post, I'm slowly figuring out that I've always done this. I mean, I've obviously always struggled to describe my own emotions and need to analyze my physical reactions to figure them out, but like. I'm just now starting to realize that I've really struggled to describe exactly how I'm "feeling bad" or, in fact, that I am feeling bad at all.

I mean, again, considering the alexithymia, that last part is a given. But it's kinda putting into perspective exactly how I've always had to understand "I don't have the energy to do anything" or "it's incredibly difficult to do anything" or "something deep inside of me feels Wrong™ and I can neither address nor identify it". I'd just passively have those "feelings" and struggle to continue life despite them.

It brings back thoughts of my struggles with masking, and how I was never diagnosed with autism as a child. Looking back, it should've been incredibly obvious. I had SO many of the tell-tale signs. But I guess it wasn't today, and there wasn't anywhere near as much awareness of what those signs were... but really. Textbook.

I'm sure my masking made it more difficult to recognize the signs as I got older. Hell, I even read over different "autism diagnosis checklist"s countless times, thinking to myself "oh wow it's a lot like me!... exceeeeeptttt--" and moved on from there.

I keep digressing. My point is, since discovering my autism and how it was hidden by masking, I've always wondered where my mask ends and where I begin. Most of the time, I feel like I feel nothing, even when I'm not depressed. I've been told I don't show my emotions, like when I'm happy (aka my chest is light and I feel free). That, or people can't tell when I like/dislike them (though that's partially a trauma thing). Other times, I've been told I'm smiling when I didn't even realize I was happy, much less that I was actually smiling. Some people have told me I'm incredibly easy to read, that my emotions show very clearly. But how can they when I feel like I feel nothing?

Which leads me back to what I said earlier, my conversation with my mother. How she asked if I actually need my meds because "I don't seem like I do". I guess I kind-of understand now, why she might've seen it that way. Do most people always show signs of how they actually feel? And how does the fact that I "don't feel" effect what I show?

I've wondered about that for a while. How much of how I act is because I was trained to, one way or another? How much of the emotion I show is because I learned to? Do I even show the emotions I feel? I really can't know because the people I know irl, who would better be able to tell me how I act, aren't understanding of any of these things. My older sister is lowkey ableist and thinks she sees the grand plan of the universe, my mother is too "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!!" to accept Spoon Theory or mental health struggles, and just about everyone else in my life comes and goes as quickly as the wind.

Anyhow, this was a long rant that I've kinda had half-formed thoughts about for a while. Thanks for reading, hopefully this can help or entertain whoever stumbles upon this?

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[ablackonyxz]

Route 0 is so gay. Eito just casually described Takumi so poetically??? To his face??? I get that he likes being over the top hopeful in this route but... Eito, that's gay. That's really gay bestie.

[xiaokuer-schmetterling]

I'M DOING THE THINGS I'M GONNA GET THAT ADDERALL

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but look at this neurotypical ableist bullshit question. how often do you make 'careless' mistakes? FUCK YOU NEVER

i'm always fucking careful. I JUST GET DISTRACTED ☠️🤬😅

do i find myself talking too much??? WHAT THE FUCK. let a person be excited about something jfc

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anyhow pleased to report that new pcp is very supportive of my goals of getting back on the adderall and the levothyroxine but staying off the lurasidone. and judgement free zone about me being all kinds of queer

and she did a blood draw to check for any other issues. and we talked about next steps to see if there's anything else she can do for the chronic joint pain. very pleased. and cautiously hopeful

OH! she let me turn off the overhead florescent lights and open the window blinds. AND HER EXAM ROOM HAS A RECLINER CHAIR.

[eeveeas123]

My goals for now and future years❤️

[februarys-wednesday]

i'm one episode in and this is all i can think about

[mrfoox]

If my brain goes brrrr and I find you intresting, it really doesn't matter how you look

[im-adrienne]

The morning's to-do's:

grocery shopping

shoe return

streaming

[taraxippos]

Characters that are written and played in a way that seems extremely autistic (but were not intentionally written as such) very frequently feel more authentic than characters intentionally written as autistic. It's weird.

[kiseiakhun]

Sometimes I wonder how much crossover there actually is between ADHD and autism, vs... if you have ADHD there's a higher chance you have SOME degree of autism, and vice versa. How much of it is inherent to the diagnosis vs subclinical comorbidity

[dullahandyke]

Was reading shit for my exam tomorrow and had to stop and record myself bcos I was like damn I have an accent.... as if I couldnt tell I was purposefully kind of putting on an Irish accent as I sometimes do when I talk