#Aur: That's it I'm sick of it I'm sick of all of you--!!

[arcxnumvitae]

He expected to be led down to the dungeons after the meeting but was escorted to an empty guest room and told to wait. He didn’t have to wait long before a knock and voice at the door announced the king who looked overtly irate. Iomhar immediately rose from the settee he had been perched on.

“Where is Sivel?” Was the first question out of his mouth.

“You should be more concerned for your own well-being!” The other man snapped. He seemed to catch himself however and took a quick inhale of air. “He is in another room, waiting. I have not spoken to him yet but I will after I am done here. And,” he cut Iomhar off, already sensing the protest ready to burst from him, “nothing will happen to him. Luckily, I was able to argue Lord Brùn down from his ridiculous request demanding both of your heads. Unfortunately, my Council is not yet well-versed in foreign diplomacy and he does not realize, nor care, of the war such an outrageous action would bring to our doorstep.” 

The king sat heavily on a low couch. Ignoring the food and tea set out, he pinned Iomhar with his gaze. “Why?”

“The cur insulted Sivel and I warned him it would mean his life if he did so again. He did so again and tried to touch Sivel while he was at it.” Sivel’s hair to be more specific, though the significance of the action would mean little to the king. “And so I kept to my word.”

“Iomhar,” he moaned, letting his head fall into his hands. 

Taking the seat across from him, he kept his gaze steady. “I will not apologize, Camhlaidh, because I do not regret it. He spoke of Sivel as if he were some mindless beast for him to take his pleasure from. He made Sivel uncomfortable.”

“I would not ask you to apologize. Lord Arasgain was a deeply unpleasant man and I would even go so far as to say that he had it coming. However, his blood has still been shed and the presence of His Majesty Sivel during the incident complicates matters greatly. “

That much was clear even to Iomhar. For diplomatic reasons, Sivel was untouchable but it would not bode well if the young king allowed such a thing to pass without reprimand. He would lose even further control and respect from his subjects. If he did nothing, he would seem weak in the eyes of Seelie’s inhabitants.

Someone had to be punished.

“Lord Brùn still wished for your head to be served to him on a silver platter, but I was thankfully able to make mention of the fact that you are the only living heir of the Mèinnearach line. Regardless of the insult to him and his family personally, to wipe an entire gentry line out by executing you would be far too harsh a punishment where the insult came from Lord  Arasgain initially. Though he had words even about that,” the king sighed once more, suddenly looking exhausted. Iomhar studied him, silent for once, and he leaned back in his seat with a shrug.

“So punish me then.”

The king’s head flew up to him and his brow furrowed. “What?”

“You heard me. That man is dead by the blade I wielded. I came here ready to accept punishment anyways, so punish me. Something suitably painful and public so that Lord Brùn feels satisfied.”

“And will the Vasyrus king abide by that?” The other man’s gaze was calculating. 

“These are matters of Seelie caused by the hand of one of its own and being taken care of its own. Any interference from him could cause even worse tensions in a situation that was almost solved, or at least, that is what you should tell him if worst comes to worst. Frankly though,” Iomhar shrugged, “I would rather he not know at all until the last possible moment.” He had no idea how long this magic Sivel cast on him would last, or how much it would reveal to him, but if nothing else he could hold it off until it was too late. 

The king gave him an affronted look. “I will not lie to him.”

“I am not asking you to lie.” Iomhar waved his hand, “And you cannot lie anyways. Simply keep him in the dark, otherwise he will certainly protest, or worse, insist on being there.” The fae’s eyes fell, and for the first time that entire day, the confidence that rolled off his body in waves seemed to falter. “I...do not want him to have to see whatever happens.”

Only silence greeted his words. The king seemed ready to ask a question, but instead chose to shake his head. “I will respect your wish then, though I believe there are better ways to handle matters. I imagine he will be upset once he learns of this.”

Iomhar chuckled weakly. “Possibly, but even in his anger he is breathtakingly beautiful, so I will accept it.”

“Truly, I have had it up to here with you ridiculously dramatic fae.” The king ran an aggravated hand through his hair, careful not to disturb his horns of the delicate diadem in place. “Fine, let us discuss the matter of your punishment before I present it to Lord Brùn.”

[gavisfanta]

UNUSUAL SURPRISE- GAVI

summary: after gavi left the spanish camp during the world cup some people get scared, but he returns with an unusual surprise.

warnings: shittalk?, not proofread

"Where's Gavi?" Pedri looked around the table after he found the empty chair which was Gavi's place.

"I don't know, ask Lucho." Ferran answered and Pedri immediately looked to their coach.

"He'll tell you himself." Enrique shortly answered and then went back to typing something on his ipad. Something specific about the spanish coach is that every day, he eats an apple for breakfast and drinks a cup of orange juice. The boys have never seen him eat anything else before lunch.

So after Luis had told the boys that Gavi was 100% gone and he's gonna tell them himself, Pedri wanted to call him. Yet it doesn't matter how many times they tried to call him, it always went to voicemail.

Gavi's phone was turned off and nobody knew what he was doing, Ferran was afriad that he might have gotten an injury or he's sick.

"He wouldn't have left then, we have a whole medical team here!" Ansu threw his hands in the aur as he stood up and made his way over to the table where all the flod was. He grabbed an apple and then went back to sit down.

"Well, the best we can do now is wait." Pedri shrugged his shoulders and zoned out. Ferran shook his head, they were obviously worried what happened to their teammate, but Pedri was right, if Gavi wasnt picking up, they had to wait.

"Hey Sergio did you hear that Gavi left camp?" The newsreporter in the tv said. The whole Brazil squad sitting infront of it, waiting for the game to begin in 20 minutes.

"Yes I did hear, but I sadly don't know why." The other guy named Sergio answered.

"Well fans are worried for their starkid, maybe he picked up an injury, it also may be something with his family. Footballers have done this before during an international tournament." The other guy began talking but Rodrygo shook his head as he leaned closer to Vini.

"Good that that shithole is gone, hm?" Rodrygo nudged Vini's shoulder as he laughed. Both Real Madrid players looked at eachother and smiled.

"No more Wonderkid for him." Vini answered and laughed, however he soon received a hit on his shoulder. As he turned to look around he saw Raphinha sitting behind him.

"I know you dont like him but there's no need to talk about him like that." Raphinha leaned forward and ltold Vinicius. He wanted to open his mouth again but decided not to, so instead he just turned around and looked at the tv.

Not even two days later as the Spanish team was sitting at breakfast, they heard the door open. Every member of the staff was at breakfast so everyone suddenly shut up and looked at the door. To their surprise it was nobody other than Gavi himself, a wide smile spread on his face.

"Hola." He smiled and then Enrique stood up and went to hug him. While he did that he whispered into his ear: "Congratulations."

Gavi just returned the smile and looked at everyone while his coach stood besides him.

"Well, I think Gavi owes everyone an apology and an explanation to why he disappeared so suddenly." Enrique said and everyone began clapping their hands. Gavi cleared his throat, he hated talking infront of so mamy people, especially when he saw the camera running in the opposite corner, but he decided to bite through it.

"First of all, I'm sorry I disappeared so quickly and that I didn't answer any of your phone calls. But I have a perfectly fine explanation." Gavi explained in a loud tone so that everyone could hear him. "I don't know if some of you guys have noticed, that you didn't see my Girlfriend in like 6 months," He stopped for a second and most people nodded their head. "That isn't because we broke up, thank god, but I'd like you to meet someone." Gavi said and then turned around to look at the door where you walked in, a newborn baby in your arms, his eyes closed and peacefully sleeping. Everyone gasped as they saw you stand next to your boyfriend, with his child in your arms. Gavi looked at his son proudly and then put his finger up to his mouth. "He's sleeping." He said just loud enough.

Many of his teammates faces were covered in huge smiles and they just looked at the baby in your arms. You then looked at Pedri and saw him smiling while both of his hands are pressed against his cheeks, then you turned to Gavi again.

"I'll go back now, you talk to them."

"Okay, I'll go to the hospital after we're done eating." Gavi explained to you and you nodded your head. You turmed around one time to everyone and waved your head with a huge grin on your face.

Most of them waved back, they waited until the door closed until everyone jumped up and ran towards Gavi.

Gavi laughed as everyonenwent over to him and congratulated him.

"Hermano this is insane!" Pedri smiled as he shook Gavi's shoulders back and fourth.

"I know, I know." Gavi answered with a smile and hugged Pedri.

"How did you keep this a secret?" Ferran asked, everyone was still smiling, everyone was more than happy for Gavi.

"It was so hard." Gavi laughed out as he shook his head. "She didn't wanna leave the house after like 5 months of pregnancy cause she was scared someone's gonna see her." He laughed and Pedri couldn't help but smile too.

"How is she even on her feet just two days after giving birth?" Ferran asked, simply amazed by how fast you recovered.

"Bro I have no idea, I told her to stay a day more but she wanted to show him to you guys." Gavi explained further.

"What's his name?" Morata asked and looked at the midfielder.

"Can't tell you guys yet." Gavi shrugged his shoulders and then began walking backwards.

Many of his teammates told him to stay but he went outside where his dad was waiting for him together with his sister.

"How did it go?" His dad asked and patted his sons shoulder. Gavi smile couldn't have been wiped off of his face by anything.

"It went amazing," Gavi said and looked around before shifting his gaze back to his father. "Where is she?" Gavi asked after he noticed that you werent around.

"She went to the car to feed him, don't worry, she's fine." Aurora calmed her brother and he nodded his head while pulling out his phone for a second.

"The posts will go online in 4 minutes." Gavi mumbled under his breath. There were posts scheduled for his account, revealing that you gave birth to your child. Of course you and Gavi have talked about announcing it, you both thought it was the right thing to do before someone sees you two walking around with a child.

But after all of you had arrived at the hotel you were staying in, Gavi went to your room with you.

While he held his child in his arms, shaking him to sleep, he looked at you with a smile. "I'm so proud of you." Gavi mumbled, but just as you would've gotten time to respond there was a knock on the door.

"My god why is that child sleeping in your arms? Here, I'll take care of him." Gavi's mother hurried over to her son, taking her grandchild out of his arms and leaving the room. You smiled a little as you watched her close the door again.

"She's-" Gavi scoffed while shaking his head, he smiled as he walked closer to you and kissed your temple. "But I'm so proud of you amor."

"Why are you proud?" You laughed out and ran your hand along his jaw, caressing his soft skin.

"You're not normal, why are you walking around two days after the delivery. You shouldn't be on your feet, your body needs to rest." Gavi said and grabbed your hand as he walked you over to the bed.

"No, Gavi I'm fine-" You began but he cut you off before you could've finished your sentence.

"No you go back to sleep now." He mumbled and then kneeled down besides you while kissing your cheek.

"I love you" You mumbled while running your hamd through his hair.

"I love you more." He answered with a smile on his face.

[thegeminisage]

HOLY SHIT IS IT ALREADY TIME TO KILL MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN???

omg what is he doooing here twirls hair

FINALLY FOUND THE FLYING TILES

damn it's been so long...

oh fuck me we got poes in here too

omg please its link again...girl come BACK

thats the thing. when you play as link you are so happy to see zelda. and when you play as zelda you are equally happy to see link

wait this is so cool this dungeon sort of goes inside and outside so we do rift puzzles and normal ones............

I LIKE RIFT REDEADS EVEN LESS THAN I LIKE NORMAL ONES.

owl statue. nice kaepora gaebora reference

found the chris houlihan room lol. not at all what i was looking for but at least i got some money

this dungeon is killing me actually because i can't find the second fucking clue

i died AGAIN :(

CAT STATUE

still havent found clue #2 but i assume this is it.

OMG IT'S MY BOYFRIENDDDD

WITH A BOW?? DO WE GET BOW POWERS????

aur my god i have to kill my boyfriend again.........................

distorted strains of the main loz theme...sick and twisted. they literally winter soldiered him. this is JUST like when ganondorf possessed zelda's semi-dead body in twilight princess

oh he's gone :(

OH THERE'S THREE OF HIM

got him with his own sword :(

YES..........................i got arrows. i have been wanting some of those

elephant statue...i see. so there's actually like a fucktillion of these and it's not just the first two i find :|

FOUND THE SECOND CLUE. fuckin finally

i like being able to fast travel around inside a dungeon...extremely anti frustration feature

oh my god the boss being a giant mole lol

IT CAN FLY?? why have i asked this of the last two bosses...........

got his ass.

ugh i love tri's theme so much. it's so haunting and atmospheric. one of the instances where the new tune is great and iconic, instead of just...background nonsense

okay i detoured to save this guy in suthorn omw to lueburry's and wahhh the fact that everyone cares about and misses link so much... "he's been a light to us" "we'll be waiting for him when he gets home" like PLEASE. i'm so warm

omg back to hyrule castle.........pleeeease i wanna go so bad even though ik it'll be stealth and i hate stealth

ok. i've played for 7 hours straight, i'm calling it. GREAT GAME

[marixrose]

Julian Devorak - Tolerable

Words: 1130

Song to listen to while reading: tolerate it by Taylor Swift

I had been working as an apprentice for Julian Devorak helping him find a cure for the Red Plague. I had been working with him for about three months now, and everyday I see a change in him. 

I bring him coffee every morning because he hardly sleeps at night and he’s going to need something to keep him doing his best. At first he was grateful, always smiling when I handed him a cup. Now he just waved me off with his hand. 

I make us dinner every night because we work so late stressing over this cure. He used to be happy eating what I made, but now I watch him not take a bite and throw it all away in front of me. 

I just brushed it off saying he was just stressed. We both were. I didn’t push him away anytime he tried to do something generous for me, then again he never did anything for me. 

The more I look back on our time together the more I realize everything was one sided. It was always me giving him coffee, making dinner, cleaning up after him, making sure he rests, giving him reassuring hugs. 

It was only me putting effort to make sure he was doing alright and in the process I lost myself. I forgot to make sure I was doing alright. I wasn’t. 

I slowly began to stop doing everything that had become a regular routine for me, and started to focus on myself. One thing that made me decide to stop trying to please Julian was that I had contracted the Plague. 

I tried to tell him, “J-Julian,” I tried to say, holding back a cough. My vision was blurry, tears brimming at the edge of my eyes. 

“God Y/n do you ever just leave me alone?” He shouted not looking up from his book. 

I was taken aback by his actions, he never yelled at me before. Sure tolerating my acts of kindness is one thing but yelling at me was something else.

“Fine.” I managed to say with all the strength I could muster. 

I went to my office and locked the door. I was sick, better to die alone than get everyone else sick. 

I get to die not knowing the cure, all my efforts in vain. 

I get to die knowing that I wasn’t important to anyone and no one thought to take care of me, it was always me taking care of them.

I grab paper and a pen and begin to write a letter for Asra, my best friend. Suddenly I'm hit with a sense of sadness knowing Ill never be able to see him again.

Dear Asra,

By the time you read this letter, I will already be dead. Thank you for always being my best friend. We’ve known each other for what, 8 years? 9? Seems like just yesterday we met. 

You have given me the best life experiences, thank you for that. I’ll gladly bring those memories with me to the other side. 

I’ll miss riding the jelly fish and traveling to the other realms. I’ll miss the beautiful view from the castle's library, much better than the dungeon where they hid us. 

I wish I could have the pumpkin bread one last time. I wish I could see the shop and see how far you’ve come with it. 

 I won’t miss the smell of this place or the restless nights wondering that if you sleep you’ll miss the key to the cure. 

   Tell Faust that I love her and that I'll miss her. Same for you, my happiest memories were with you. If only we had more time together. 

    One thing I will regret most is spending most of my life trying to catch the attention of someone who never wanted it. I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough then maybe, just maybe, he would see me the same way I see him. But to him I will always be his apprentice that he can only tolerate. 

My time with Julian wasn’t all in vain however, I will miss the nights where we were both stressed but we calmed each other down by starting conversation. I will miss those nights, the only time I didn’t feel like I took up too much space or time.

Thank you Asra, for everything. 

    Don’t miss me too much, Y/n.

I fold the paper, tears threatening to fall and ruin it. I focus my magic on the letter and try to find Asra’s aura. With a swift snap my letter disappears off to find Asra wherever they may be. 

I cough violently into my hand, only to find a trail of blood after I pull back my hand. I know I don’t have much time. 

I sit at my office desk thinking of everything I’m going to miss out on now that I’m dying. I let out a sob as I curly myself up into a ball. The pain is unbearable. 

After a half hour, I stood up, almost falling over from how dizzy I was. I opened my door to find a bed to die in. 

I opened it to find Julian about to knock on my door with a concerned look on his face, which quickly changed to worry once he saw my state.

“Y-y/n you're sick, but you didn’t- when did this- I could have-” He started to panic, wide eyed. It would have been nice to see him care for me like this without me on the verge of death. I guess it's true that people only care once you're dead; or in my case about to die.

“I did. I meant I tried but you got angry and yelled at me to leave, so I did.” I say softly, not having enough energy to be angry. 

His face flashed with guilt as he began to frantically speak, “Y/n I never meant to yell, I was just-” 

“Stressed. I know. We both are, but I never yelled at you.” I cut him off, I’d be damned if I’m going to spend my last moments arguing with the man I love. Loved. 

Heartbroken over a love that never even existed. 

He looks hurt by what I said but doesn’t push it. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.” I whisper, starting to feel the world fade away. 

I smile slightly at Julian before whispering my last words, “Thank you for tolerating me.”

-Time Skip-

“I’m sorry, Y/n, if only I was there for you like you were for me.” Julian said sadly as he watched my body get dragged into a boat to go to the Lazaret.

Words, how little they mean, when you’re a little too late. 

[catholickedd]

hello!!! um so i had an idea the other day. if you've read my pinned post you know that i'm an aspiring author, and i wanted to practice some short story writing just to get the hang of the setup-payoff cycles. so here's the idea i had - i'm going to write 94 short stories over the next couple of months. one inspired by each song on my spotify playlist. this is going to be the masterpost. here we go

amount completed: 3 of 94

wasteland, baby by hozier - here

autumn by wylder - here

velvet ring by big thief - here

thérèse by maya hawke -

sea, swallow me by cocteau twins -

paint by the paper kites -

sedona by sir chloe -

kyoto by phoebe bridgers -

strawberry blond by mitski -

bloom by the paper kites -

would that i by hozier -

swan upon leda by hozier -

in a week by hozier -

nfwmb by hozier -

fool by frankie cosmos -

evergreen by richy mitch & the coal miners -

candles by daughter -

september by sparky deathcap -

alrighty aphrodite by peach pit -

caroline by lowertown -

jaded by near tears -

poison tree by grouper -

haunt me (x 3) by teen suicide -

the way her hair falls by grouper -

the bug collector by haley heynderickx -

the perfect girl by mareux -

dark beach by pastel ghost -

faerie soiree by melanie martinez -

downtown by majical cloudz -

all your yeahs by beach house -

i don't know by whatever, dad -

gwan by rostam -

the loxian gate by enya -

ophelia by the lumineers -

eat your young (bekon's choral version) by hozier -

francesca by hozier -

no face by haley heynderickx -

rises the moon by liana flores -

washing machine heart by mitski -

all things end by hozier -

through me (the flood) by hozier -

nobody by hozier -

manta rays by chloe moriondo -

unknown / nth by hozier -

like real people do by hozier -

jackie and wilson by hozier -

from eden by hozier -

work song by hozier -

foreigner's god by hozier -

run by hozier -

shrike by hozier -

as it was by hozier -

sunlight by hozier -

dandelion wine by gregory alan isakov -

meet me in the woods by lord huron -

make your own kind of music by cass elliot -

where is my mind by pixies -

pool house by the backseat lovers -

mclean's baby boy by neighbor susan -

space song by beach house -

garden song by phoebe bridgers -

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers -

grandiose by pomme -

je sais pas danser by pomme -

better views by yellow house -

même robe qu'hier by pomme -

ghosting by mother mother -

lent by autoheart -

bron-yr-aur by led zeppelin -

adieu mon homme by pomme -

cause for concern by lovejoy -

willow by taylor swift -

feathered indians by tyler childers -

the last of the honeybees by sam burchfield -

de selby (part 2) by hozier -

the last thing on my mind by tom paxton -

the night we met by lord huron -

ends of the earth by lord huron -

the yawning grave by lord huron -

the moon doesn't mind by lord huron -

sex sells by lovejoy -

perfume by lovejoy -

maine by noah kahan -

white winter hymnal by fleet foxes -

anchor by novo amor -

pale blue eyes by the velvet underground -

i'll be your mirror by the velvet underground -

dinner and diatribes by hozier -

wildflower by beach house -

good old-fashioned lover boy by queen -

bright eyes by art garfunkel -

[deesi-academia]

bhai mai wo hu jo apne friend se love main thi.

abhi do din se tabiyat nahi sahi hai meri and usne pucha bhi nhi hai ki mai kesi hun. text nhi kiya, msg nhi. tuesday ke msg dekhe bhi nhi mere. wo meri chat archived rkhta hai because uske parents ajeeb hnn

but kal se skul bhi nhi gyi aur usko koi matlab nhi hai mujhse. koi msg nahi or any concern ki main skul me hii behosh hui thi. bhot gussa aa raha khud pe.

kyun pasand kiya ise. he doesnt care. matlab. ek message bhi nhi tuesday se. wo bhi mera msg nhi dekha hai

ab kal school jaungi toh poochega kaisi hoon and main toh pighal jaungi. but ye sahi nhi hai haan na. or did i expect too much

noooo bhai 😭😭 that's so shitty of him.

and don't worry you're not expecting too much. you're expecting the bare minimum from a person who supposedly considers you a friend.

yaar ye banda aisa kyu nikla I'm sorry bestie 💔 ab agar next time jab tu mile and he asks kaise ho toh tum bhi bol dena "tujhe kya hi farak padna hai?" and walk away.

itna bare minimum effort of checking up on you bhi nahi ho raha isse.

but also if his mom is strict do you know if he has his phone these days or not?

but also a short story: my friend's ex did a similar thing and said it's because his phone was confiscated so he literally didnt talk to her at all for a whole week while she was sick at home. her current bf got all his devices confiscated because he was found out to be dating BUT he contacted my friend through me and other people just to see how she's handling it. so umm. the standard I support^

[tetrisfinished]

cravings

i recently learned that the urdu word for "crave" or "craving" can be translated to "talab" (unless i am mistranslating - in which case, really too bad, i love this word under this context) and i think it's such an elegant word.

such an elegant word that's soft on the tongue; talab (not pronounced the way it would be phonetically in english, but with a "soft" t? is that a thing?). but with such a big definition.

mujhe sakoon ke lamhon ki talab hai.

mujhe khamoshi ki talab hai.

i don't know why, maybe it's age, but i've become the person that has started to look forward to quiet moments on my own.

quiet moments to do nothing at all. which isn't new if i'm talking historically, but the difference is, now i want my "peace" even over the things i generally enjoy. like spending time with family or friends.

like as an example - i'm sick at the moment. and of course mama is worried sick about me since i'm also solo parenting and i have to go into the office every week. so she keeps saying she'll come over.

but since pre-new years, the long weekend holiday time was quite full of activity. and then when i got home i got sick, of course. and now its the weekend and i'm still sick (but on the mend, hopefully, finally got some medicine) and esa is home. which, don't get me wrong, i love that. esa is growing independent day by day and it's so good to be home with him just enjoying our space together.

my little baby is not a little baby anymore and....well i mean i could go on this tangent for the rest of my life. but let's focus.

so anyway, i'm on the mend and my cleaning lady is coming on monday and she'll do a deep clean. and that means, i will get to enjoy a clean home. a deep cleaned home. with esa at daycare. and sure, i'll be working on monday, but STILL. i will get to enjoy some peace in my clean home. and while i love it when my mother comes, and she does SO MUCH for me....my talab for that moment of sitting silently in my clean home...taking a shower and feeling refreshed was so great....i pushed really hard on the whole "i'm fine" bit, to hopefully ensure my mom didn't end up coming.

which i think she sensed. and i think she was upset about (rightfully so, i think my own heart might break too).

but this talab for quiet. for clean. for peace is SO GREAT in me that i risked hurting my mother's feelings.

and frankly, probably did it.

so i am asking why. kyun mujhe itna ziyada sakoon ka aur safayi ka talab hai.

jab ke esa ke saath time guzaar ke, mama ke saath time guzaar ke, family aur doston ke saath time guzaar ke bhi mujhe bohat khushi milti hai. aur main un waqton ke liye bhi shadeed shukar guzar hoon.

lekin apne ghar mein sakoon se chup chaap baith ker ek ajeeb sa gratitude dil mein baith jaata hai. ek aisa ehsaas - woh asal cheese jiski mujhe talab hai. shayad sakoon nahin, chup chaap nahin, sirf woh ehsaas jisme main....sakoon mein hoon.

that moment of complete bliss and happiness and contentness in my life. that moment of complete satisfaction.

in a clean and quiet home, when i have showered, food is prepared, beds are made....i want for nothing.

i wish i could freeze that moment. it's the moment in which i...i'm not sure what it is. i think it's the moment i can feel God. truly. the moment in which i can feel his immense presence and i can feel the immense gratitude for all that i have been given. especially in light of what is happening in the world during this time.

it is the moment in which i don't want to move for fear of shifting the balance and the same moment in which i recognize just how fragile this balance might even be.

it is the moment of true and pure happiness for me. is that wild? crazy? psychotic? normal?

i don't know.

all i know is that it IS. and i crave it. i have talab for it. my body looks for those nooks and crannies of quiet and peace. my brain revels in the feeling. and i haven't ever experienced it long enough to experience boredom in it YET (but you never honestly know, the heart is a fickle thing) so my craving for it only grows.

so there you have it.

that's all i've got for tonight.

much love,

k

[firethatgrewsolow]

From the lz site comments - I love reading firsthand accounts:

December 4, 2007 10:07am

Joe Schmidt

I write this to commemorate the 1977 Led Zeppelin U.S. Tour. To honor the Zeppelin legacy, and give an insight into the shows I experienced.

The date is Wednesday, April 6th, 1977. Led Zeppelin are to open tonight at the Chicago Stadium, in the first of a series of four shows. To give reference, I had just turned 17 a week prior and was a devout and rabid Zeppelin freak. My Zeppelin collection was rapidly building, including several bootlegs. The film The Song Remains The Same had just popped in October 1976. So I was very aware of their live capabilities.

Purchasing tickets for the shows was a story in itself. My friends and I decided to sleep overnight at the local Flipside, which was the Ticketron outlet. It was extreme. It was the 1970's. When the tickets went on sale, it became a literal war! Broken doors, shattered glass, fighting and fainting girls! I used my football skills to emerge 10th in line at the ticket dispenser. I was rewarded with Box Seats - Club Circle. The seats I possessed provided a total and unobstructed view of the complete stage. Raised seats just above the main floor. Yes, there is a God!

It was a cold evening the night of the April 6th show. The Chicago Stadium was in a very rough part of town and you had to be on your toes. The t-shirt hawkers were out in full force so I nabbed two real fine Zeppelin shirts. As I entered the facility, I could barely contain myself. There was Jimmy's speaker cabinet with the ZoSo symbol! Bonham had a new and beautiful gold metallic kit, waiting in ready, high atop his riser. The stage appeared sharp and clean with banks of lights and the P.A. hung aerially.

I found my seats and then wandered up the main floor aisle where the lighting man sat. This guy greatly resembled Keith Emerson. His eyes were red, glazed and glassy. I asked him about the set. He informed me Rock + Roll would not be the opener. It's going to be The Song Remains The Same. He added that Page was doing a wild version of Dazed and Confused with special lighting effects. As I walked back to my seat, toilet paper rolls flew off the balconies amid a blue-grey haze from the sweet smoke. Just as I sat in my seat the lights were cut.

Showtime! Pandemonium ensued. It's fucking Zeppelin! I added my own banshee wail to the moment. The spotlight hits Robert Plant. The firecrackers ignite prompting Robert to exclaim " Woa! Woa! Woa! Before we start can you please stop the firecrackers!" Just then Jimmy Page appears, turned toward Bonham . He's in white satin with a dragon design on his shirt's back. No design on his satin pants. Those were added later in the tour. As Page faces the audience I see him with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He's pacing with nervous energy. Up until that point I had never seen a photo of Jimmy smoking. I was surprised.

Page is strapped up with his doubleneck. The opening D- note is struck, the full spotlight hits Jimmy and it's off to the races. On one knee, Jimmy slides over to Jonesy and JPJ bows his bass toward Pagey. Robert's throwing moves and shapes in front of Page's Marshalls as Bonzo unleashes his percussive fury. This rendition is very solid. Robert's voice sounds very clear and strong. Jimmy's a little sticky on some notes and Bonham plays on too long at the end bit. Which did mess up the segue to The Rover. It came off somewhat disjointed. Colored light changes punctuate the four opening chord strikes of Sick Again. As the song kicks in, I notice their doing it in a slower and funkier arrangement. Page's solo crawls out of the stew. Short and fiery. The ending is on the money. The strong ending elicits a wild audience response. Robert then reiterates to the crowd- " Cool the explosives!" Adding that the last time they played Chicago was 1973. I thought to myself. That isn't correct. It was 1975.

The harmonized opening lick of Nobody's Fault But Mine soars across the Stadium. Now on the Les Paul, Page's E7 th chord overhang and arm sweep captivating the masses. As Page and Plant play in unison. Bonham and Jones are backlit with spotlights as they play their counterpoint rhythm. Hot Stuff! But, Robert's harmonica solo is indecipherable and Jimmy's lead bears no relation to the studio version.The solos sound very early tour. Damn.

In My Time Of Dying slithers out of Page's Danelectro as the concert progresses. There are some real problems with this one tonight. The missed breaks are glaringly obvious. During the fast part they kept trying to find a way out of it. Slop. Robert then goes into a homily about Chicago Blues legends Buddy Guy, Willie Dixon, Muddy Waters.

Blue light solely envelopes Page as he picks out the intro of Since I've Been Loving You. Crystalline notes that were chilling! Robert sounding much better than 1975. Fuck it! I'm going to the front! I start my trudge up to the stage. I was evasive and agile, my adrenaline surging as I approached the stage barrier. There were people shooting photos , so I nestled in with them. Right in front of me is Jimmy Page blasting out the climactic solo of SIBLY . High register notes to discordant low bends. John Bonham kicking it in his tuxedo t- shirt. My chest cavity being pummeled by the force of the band. Plant hollers out- " Jimmy Page! Guitar!"

Directly in front of me, Jimmy acknowledges the crowd as he sits on Bonham's drum riser drinking a Heineken. Robert introduces Jonesy as " The most debonair member of the band. He can speak two languages. Featuring John Paul Jones on keyboard.. No Quarter!" Page stands up and walks over to his theramin. He throws a karate chop in front of it emitting a sonic Woop! Woop! The dry ice filters in, shrouding the first 15 rows. Jonesy in emerald light plays the opening theme. Page and Bonham fall in powerfully. Jimmy's wah wah piercing through it all. Jones hints at Rachmaninov, as green lasers flutter behind him. As JPJ does his solo, Jimmy and Robert are 20 feet from me. They were having a drink and chatting near Page's theramin. They seem to be laughing about something. Then it's on to the main improv guitar solo. Jones plays the transition as Bonzo lays into a mid tempo feel. Seeing Pagey so close, jabbing at chords as his body reflected every note he emitted. Switching pick ups to emphasize tone shifts and dynamics. He was dancing, slashing and hypnotizing. At the solo's finale, I'm shooed out of the front and return to my seat. As I walk back, the last notes of No Quarter expire. What an experience!

Robert admits to some band rustiness when he introduces Ten Years Gone - " This is a thing that we never did until 3 weeks ago. And we're still running through it. As we are through everything." Out comes the now famous Telecaster B- Bender. Page twangs out a few notes. JPJ plays 12- string acoustic. Not yet in ownership of his triple- neck. Bass pedals at his feet. Jimmy and Jonesy are loud and full, crashing out the melodic riff. Even more powerful as Bonham enters. Page's middle solo is a mess. Missed and clanging notes. Robert sounds fantastic on this song! Great choice Guys!

Bonham strolls out from behind his kit. Plant announces - " To the front of the stage for the 1st time. John Bonham. Looking very suave. In his 2- piece tuxedo." Four chairs are set up as the Zeppelin take their seats. But the monitors are feeding back and JPJ's guitar is out of tune. There'a a lull in the action to fix matters, and the crowd does become restless. Jimmy , now on mandolin, strums out the opening notes of Battle of Evermore. It was a riveting performance, especially the swirling jam.

The monitor system from hell continues to plague the acoustic set. Robert is now clearly agitated - " We have an acoustic guitar on this number gents. So turn the bloody thing up! Last time we played here I remember the night very well, cause I'd got the flu and nearly died. And, the monitors were so bad they were doing just what they're doing now. Get it Right!!!"

Going To California is superlative. Conjuring images of tranquil and beautiful hillsides. The Minstrels at play. A magic moment.

Robert teases with a bit of Elvis' Surrender. He then spiels about the Black Country describing it as - "The land where men are men and sheep are nervous!' Page then provides a classic moment as he leans into his microphone and drolly states - " It's better to live one day as a king than a 1,000 as a peasant." JPJ brings out a bizarre looking stand- up bass for the Black Country Woman / Bron- Yr Aur Stomp combination. Bonzo's back on skins and Jimmy displays some fine fingerpicking during his solo turn.

More equipment woes precede White Summer/ Black Mt. Side. And, the song itself is an utter shambles. Audibly out of tune, Jimmy makes a game of it. He chases himself trying to retune as the song progresses! Able to regroup, the seated Page plucks out a few more notes, kicks out of his wooden chair and then....

Kashmir! From one spotlight on Page to every light in the rig, the Stadium exploded in heat and light. Huge spinning globes above the stage showering light shards over us. Robert confidently projecting as the Golden God! Page as the Whirling Dervish propelled by Bonham's cannon shots. I will never forget during the coda, on one of Bonzo's final flurries, Jimmy stutter- stepping his way across the length of the stage. From JPJ's side to his side. Arms outstretched and his mouth agape in some euphoric state. Indelible.

A beach ball bounces above the main floor. Playfully, Robert comments - " A soccer match!"

Plants ominously introduces Over The Top: " We've been here 3 or 4 days and he hasn't been to jail yet." It's the Out On The Tiles riff and into Bonzo's Barrage! I had a straight shot at him as I looked through my binoculars. The cat would not let up! His drum kit motored out to the front of the stage for the Hands solo and Phased Tympani segment. During his big build up before the band returns, I saw Jimmy standing by his amp watching in amazement. Bonzo turned and looked at Pagey. You could literally feel the head of steam that Bonham was generating! I can still see it. You must hear this version! The crowd went nuts as Bonzo soaked it in. He had big smile and gave a hand wave.

Onto Jimmy's Noise Symphony. What can I say? What I did say was ' Where the fuck is Dazed and Confused?" It was a big disappointment for me. I thought, Dazed and Confused represented so much of their power, fluidity and mystery. I was shocked they didn't play it! Between the harmonizer solo and the violin bow it was like a white noise experiment. The laser pyramid was visually spectacular. Bonham rumbles around his phased tympani and a wash of sound leads into the first tentative notes of Achilles Last Stand. This song did not come off well at all this evening. Sloppy playing that gets worse as the song progresses. An atrocious solo by Mr. Page. It's as though he forgot how to play the song!

Now the set closer, Stairway To Heaven begins and is performed faithfully. Just as Bonzo joins in, Jimmy's guitar strap breaks. Ray Thomas dashes out and attends to Jimmy. The solo kicks into gear as golden light shimmers off Page's white suit and Robert grooves with his tambourine. The compact lead gives way to Robert's pleading vocal lines and the final title lyric. Brilliant white light hits a huge spinning globe as the band head off stage. A several minute wait at least before they return.

Encore time. The band reappear and Bonzo begins Rock + Roll. Major explosions ignited onstage give off tangible heat. Jimmy's lead is loud and errant. A big bang ending. Rah! Offstage once again for several minutes before one more.

Push! Push! It's Trampled Under Foot! The fucking loudest song of the evening. Page had his amp on 11. Jones and Bonham were slamming . Jimmy's solo was absolutely blistering. Peeling off licks with conviction. Robert and Jimmy as one doing their Push Push bit had everyone rocking. A great finale!

So concludes the first show in Chicago. It was beautiful, inconsistent, mind blowing , sloppy and sublime all in one show. I'd love to see them again. That's right! There's tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...........................

[mrofontaine]

"You think if we'd lost our home, potentially taken away from our mother, that the foster care system would've kept us together? At our age? We would've been split up. Worse, maybe." Olivier would never apologize for how he'd kept them together. Even if Thomas couldn't see the sacrifices that a fifteen-year-old Olivier Fontaine had to make to make that happen.

A childhood? After his father's passing, he had known of no such thing.

"You choose to believe him, a man who is still lashing out because I kept him clothed, fed and a roof over that fucker's head — that's expecting a lot of the fifteen-year-old, Isla." Even word brought back memories he'd long wanted to forget, his mother's tears as she lost the only man she'd ever loved. A woman who had been the perfect example of what a mother should be. But even with all those things, it'd never prepared them for what came. The loss had been great enough that it still weighed heavily on his own heart now.

Those thoughts were like being dragged underwater, wave after wave crashing until there was no air left to breathe. "You know the memories of a man I've known my entire life. One who was a little boy when all of this was going on. If he hated what I did so fucking much, why join the enemy? It was to hurt me, Isla. Look at the facts that are being presented right in front of you. He joined for one fuckin' reason only. And for that, I can never forgive and I certainly can never forget."

That Russian's mother fucking face appeared like a nightmare, and anger coiled further in his gut at the overwhelming sickness that spread through him like a plague.

I'll be your fucking enemy.

"Go right a-fucking-head Isla. Be my enemy." Olivier laughed so humorlessly that dry ice leaked through the sound. Gruff, edged, unfriendly. There was something so...familiar about the lines that the French and Rutherfords toed. Friendly, but willing to kill the other the second the order was given. The idea, though, of putting a bullet between her eyes didn't settle him. In fact, it quickly started that thundering heart. Would he be able to do it? Could he kill her?

He wasn't sure he could.

Silence permeated the space between them, so close physically, but so far away from when they'd first met. When everything had been far simpler, and she'd been an angel, walking downstairs under a filthy alleyway light. A lifetime ago, and it still felt like yesterday. Olivier hadn't had luck in the love department.

Lisette and Elaina.

Even Genevieve.

That strain of her voice was enough to perk his ears. Ocean blue pools stared at her with intense hellfire, and something else that he couldn't explain himself. That feeling curled around his heart, squeezing until all his breath was stolen from his lungs. It was that pain. He caused so much of it every time someone got too close.

"You hate me." He would've said it was more definitive than asking a question. "I want to give you answers, Isla. Because I'm fed up with hurting the people that I — those that matter. And you do...did...I don't know. You crossed the line tonight. Aur...really? You wanted to hurt me that bad you'd use her death."

Olivier ran a frustrated, shaking hand down his face, checking their surroundings to see if anyone had caught wind. Although, he was pretty sure she'd be ribbons on the floor if they had. "You can't go around sayin' shit like that. What if Oliver had overheard you? Or Yves? Or Delphine...Varden? They don't care if you live or die...god damn it."

It's not nearly enough to keep her quiet. Teeth cut into the flesh of her cheek and it's almost enough to force her to strike again. Knuckles white against the blade tucked indiscretely within her hand. Was he truly so blind? "And what about the brother that he needed?" That they could have been losing so much, and still, Olivier would turn his back and claim it was what needed to be done, left a mark that clearly, he'd never seen. But she had - over and over again. It tore through her, for every time she'd laid witness to Thomas unravel that little bit more each and every time he'd seen Olivier in the crowd. Each event held that ended with her trying to calm him down in lieu of the anger that rose in seeing Olivier pride himself as one of the French. "That I don't know anything about?" She scoffs rigidly unable to stop the absolute increduluity that rises in her voice, "You're so fucking blind." To everything beyond this world he'd curated around the French organization, but maybe they all were.

But it was never about Olivier and Thomas. Isla knew that it was far easier to circumnavigate her anger around something that didn't truly concern her. Far easier to dive head-first into self-destruction. The only thing that Julian left her with. And as she watched the look in his eyes shift, she knew she'd struck the match. It was enough to spur her forward and terrify her all in one shaky breath. "You wanna' look at me like the enemy, I'll be your fucking enemy."

And it hurts, to know almost immediately that she's hurt him. And it hurts to paint herself differently in his eyes. Isla knows that this isn't the way he's seen her before, and yet, it's how he looks at her now. It rips through her and tears the air from her lungs. Isla had struggled for breath since the night she lost everything, but now she's suffocating. "I..--" Words congregate in the thick of her throat, a tight lump that refuses to budge as he reads her for absolute filth for a split second. Was it being wrong, that stumped her? Or that he'd always been watching? Either way, the earth might as well have opened up and swallowed her whole as they stood there, hushed, sharpened whispers cutting through their corner of the room. I didn't want to hurt you. It's a lie, because she did --- god did she ever want to hurt him in the way it'd hurt watching him descend the staircase at the awards night with Delphine St Clair.

Who're we kidding?

"I can't do this." It's muttered almost to herself as the truth of their situation settles deftly between them. They were both to blame - and they would always be enemies. . "I want to hate you. I want so badly, to hate you.

[sly-merlin]

That one worried anon is so precious omg, adding onto them, I'm literally half European living with Indians, it was always difficult suiting in when people couldn't move further from making fun of my name, coz it's oddly long and difficult to pronounce. They often had several misconceptions, and my hindi initially was so bad, i can cry thinking about it lmao, but who can explain the ways of respect to 2nd graders or 1st graders. I'm also an atheist, an extremely weird option while in a convent+

School, and a highly religiously diverse country, the dynamics of not following a religion is so constricted here that oof lord. Also the fascination people here with "Gore ladkiya" (white women) is creepy, i may not look white, but my mom does, and the guys here have an odd infatuation with it, now imagine lol. I mostly became introverted for a reason as to because, everyone sort of wanted to be my friend, for the upliftment of their status if it makes sense. Like i was a trophy they felt +

Proud of, oof. And yes simmi di you a wise queen, educating comes top in this, you can't know the intentions sometimes, and you can't jump into conclusion, it could've been smtg else entirely. I for example, when people ask, do Russian drink vodka in place of water, i will say stfu no, then I'll say be careful with alcohol we do not. Or if someone from Russia asks, do all Indians live in houses with 300 kids, i will say stfu, no we have pretty normal families. It is how it is 

 i wish i had met you when you were little bee!

i 100 % agree with all these things. being a poc and non-poc..both is rather difficult here! you were a kid at that time and it was such a difficult experience for you and i cant even think what your mumma must have felt!  you two are so brave! 

my upbringing is totally religious like sikh school and all and i loved being there but my system shuts down when people use religion to create toxic environment. you live here and you know wt i’m talking abt babes! here , you are not born a human but in a religion. humanity gyi tail(oil lmao) lene! bhai if you are of my religion , then okey dokey or else i’ll categorise you into outsider category! 

and the infatuation with white culture is so sick like my mum is dark brown and i’m a mixture of light and dark and whenevr my muma used to pick me up from school , everyone was like - is she your mom? i was a stupid naive kid till 10th so i thought maybe they say it because she has that intimidating aura around here and i look like a silly fool who lost her candy! but then i understood those bloody hell kids used to compare our skin colour and it had happened in collge as well. lmao the law students are being racist ,even if we say unintentionally, i have no hope in anyone. i befriended the only muslim junior in our college and everyone was like hayee you talk to her! how is she? dickheads! she’s a human , talk and find out!😂

i cant imagine you being an intovert! you are my fluffy cloud , peak extrovert energy . fuck those people for making you feel this way and you are a proud atheist! You are still a better human being than them . Ma golden human being🥺

whoever says anything harsh , we can file a lawsuit and clean their bank deposits(do it the cooler way!)😂

 follow wtever u want! bloody nobody has right to say anything to you! 

and what kind of soulmate are you??? i dont know your real name!! 

and who replaces vodka with water yrr..yeh toh matlb nihayti bakwaas hai...aur 300 kids! india has only one family with these many kids and they are in mizoram i guess...around 150 members in that family! 300 is too much...logic ki vaat lgi padhi hai duniya me😂

[christcrofts]

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[vishwaspur]

Ooh I have a suggestion for RiKara, Gauri embraces her grey character traits and takes over OM and is v fabulous and dresses awesomely while doing so, failing that Omkara finally regains some decent consistent character traits and becomes a more well rounded character who appropriately worships his queen of a wife. 3rd option, I finally grow sick of this show and reach in through the screen and pull my girl(s) out away from the idiocy in OM, and the terrible wardrobe. (I'm sick of SSO too ughh)

I am always up for the third option!

Also, let’s face it. Anything Omkara does, Gauri can do it better. She’s the actual boss in everything in their relation.

And I mean...EVERYTHING.

*wink wink*

HEADCANON TIME!

Gauri’s protective instincts are no joke specially when it comes to her hubby dearest. When he hated the very sight of her, she was ready to die for him. Imagine the things she’ll do when the guy begins to genuinely appreciate her?!

So it’s like...Omkara, who was never the guy to be at the center of things to begin with, starts taking a backseat. The problems in OM never end because it’s practically a madhouse but in every issue, Gauri takes the lead.

He knows Gauri is all tedha ideas which tend to somehow work so instead of now rolling his eyes at them and rebuking her for it, he begins to listen to her.

This also means he gets the time to do something he genuinely loves - HIS ART!

So Omkara isn’t found at the family tamashas now unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. His motor mouth wifey gives him regular updates about things, mirch masala laga ke.

(ufff imagine Omkara with open hair and glasses chadha ke, perched on a stool as he works on his new statue as he nods along to Gauri being all “phir ye hua, hum ne ye kiya, aur wo hogaya!” giving the impression that he is nodding absent mindedly but he is actually listening!!)

And when Gauri gets stuck in something, Omkara gives her HIS brand of wisdom which is all deep and philosophical but Gauri understands it all.

Imagine the riot the fusion of deep philosophy and street smartness would do?

And whenever Omkara does take the center stage, with his sharp mind taking in all the details and assessing them before taking any action, Gauri is right behind him DARING his opponent to even TRY to do anything funny to Omkara.

If Shivaay is the great wall of defense for his brothers, Gauri is the second line of attack behind that wall. You’d think the wall is so strong that’s the only defense they.

WELL SURPRISE BITCH!!

Basically. Omkara and Gauri fall into a relationship that is based on mutual respect more than anything. Love happens apna time laga ke. Gauri is inherently wired to be all protective of Omkara, always wanting to take the bullet for him. But he teaches her in his way that he doesn’t NEED constant protection. Because she gives him the strength to fight and not falter. If he does have to fight, he will. Because he knows she’ll be right there beside him. Like he’ll be there for her.

And yes well DUH Gauri  Kumari Omkara Singh Ssarma Oberoi has the entire OM wrapped around her little finger because OM is a legit madhouse and she has the chops of using that same madness in her favor. She attacks from places you don’t see coming in ways you can’t even imagine.