#Astral drift
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Drawing I did in my sketchbook while in Hawai’i, inspired by the volcanic regions I visited New Great Beast kaiju for Astral Drift
#kaiju#art#oc#monster#character art#original character#astral drift#volcano#volcanic#lava#eruption#volcanology#magma#axolotl#great beast
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he was holding himeko's coffee btw (he spits it out immediately)
#hsr#honkai star rail#sunday hsr#sketch#okay so leaks said he's astral express now???#tbh i don't care where he goes or what he does as long as he's playable LKGFFLJKSDHF#drifting colors
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Rank 55: Yuma Jets!!
#this scene will be forever in my mind and heart#this scene is everything to me#the way Astral comforts Yuma telling him that he will live a life full of emotions#that as long Yuma has hope in the future he will living forever#the way Astral hugs Yuma holding him close#the way Yuma leans against Astral#and the “I will always love you”#Astral was never meant to feel anything but he has met Yuma#and he has learned from him so many things including love#Astral loves Yuma#it doesn't matter if Astral will drift in the space forever it doesn't matter if he won't ever stop keeping guard E'Rah#Astral will love Yuma for all the eternity#and he knows that what he is going to do will break Yuma's heart#and he doesn't want Yuma lose his spirit because of that#he wants Yuma to live the bright future reserved for him#a future full of emotions (a future that Astral couldn't ever have and a future he won't ever see)#and Astral knows that Yuma will survive the pain and will build a wonderful future for himself#and that spirit that Astral has loved will become his last hope#that love will keep Astral alive#I can't stop thinking about them about this scene about this “I will always love you”#I love them so much#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal#zexal manga#zexal manga spoiler
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If. If Kingsley ever went with the Nein on a trip to the Astral Sea or something, do you think there are creatures there who still remember Cognouza and Lucien--
#just now remembered how tERRIFIED vokodo was of the city and the eyes and just#thinking of all the creatures that could be centuries older than king that remember a strange tiefling whose soul was shattered in#the astral sea and still have nightmares about the place where a living breathing city used to be#ALSO WOULD KING JUST BE TERRIFIED BECAUSE?? HE KNOWS THIS PLACE FROM HIS DREAMS OF ALIEN SCREAMS#AND BLACK CHAINS#king who loves the ocean drifting through a sea of stars and being enchanted by how magical and full of wonder it all is but also just#itching to get away because its all too familiar
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Good news: the mark's gone forever and I have a new semi-temporary tattoo. Also my soul actually took the change instead of immediately turning back to its 'save state'.
Bad news: I'm not sure what I expected from being digitized but my vague assumptions didn't originally involve that much screaming.
#Precursor to the tag rant: I'm mostly fine now and I'm not alone so don't worry too much.#It's different. From. Going to the astral plane.#My body disappears. I can see it disappear. I can feel it disappear.#And then it doesn't. Exist#My soul didnt exist#I didnt exist#just numbers in a box#I couldn't feel it. My soul. Any part of it. Any spark or nerve at all#couldnt breathe couldnt even try#i forgot where i was for a minute.#felt like somewhere else#apparently i wasn't supposed to be awake in there#..the AI helped but. It was. Hard to focus.#With my thoughts. Drifting. Like that.#Thankfully the alteration was. Really simple. Once I calmed down enough I got it done quickly.#And got. My soul back. Started to exist again.#I probably should've. Prepped better for this. Emotionally.#Or at least gone with someone.#Oof.#Still deeply grateful for the technology but of course I'm going to have the worst possible time with every otherwise cool thing.#And now I'm coping with cuddling in a nest. So it's mostly fine.#It's fine.#No Strings (ic)
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Currently Listening To: "ASTRAL GALLERY [feat. Michael Skaggs]" by FOXCULT, Outline In Color, Michael Skaggs
#IFTTT#Spotify#ASTRAL GALLERY [feat. Michael Skaggs]#FOXCULT#Outline In Color#Michael Skaggs#THE AMETHYST DRIFT
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#music. loki#ill prob lose my little selfcontrol and post the niigo ver eventually cuz the vocal direction is so damn good#but the 2:06.........as well in general. the boxes.#+ the way the mv starts tilting at the end ohhhhhhhhhh its so good#Unaware of that the clouds drifted by. Until yesterday the clouds drifted by#Even if I end up turning into mist I should be okay with that. I should be able to say it makes no difference to me#Why do I always fall right away While searching for someone's hand to grab? While admiring the sky as much as I am able#<-that part in particular.........................................................#The rain that can't come to resemble any person#as well as the note about the other way it can be interpreted...............loki............captain................byleistr................#There's no time to put up an umbrella. Still I think I'll probably be okay like this.#But because I still don't understand I end up soaking wet#Because I know so little of the pain that troubles the rest of the world#-> But I want to know the feelings that trouble the rest of the world#wayfaring astral.................................................................
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Holding each other like otters, drifting through the Astral Sea
#d20#dimension 20#dimension 20 fanart#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high junior year spoilers#ankarna#cassandra d20#my art#had to draw them#should I be doing other stuff?#maybe#but totally worth it
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futile cure
mara-struck!jing yuan x reader II 4.5k
warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no pronouns, heavy angst, multiple major character deaths, can be read as yandere, monsterfucking, handjob, blowjob, deep throating, creampie, rough sex, info might be wrong because i haven’t completed 2.4 story quest yet, unedited
synopsis: with jing yuan’s blessing, you left the xianzhou’s luofu to join the astral express crew and follow the trailblaze. one hundred years later, the newly appointed general, yanqing reached out to you in desperation. Your former boyfriend is now mara-stricken
The air around the Express was lively as folks chimed with champagne, laughter, and music. Another world was saved, and another Stellaron crisis was averted.
You sat at a table with two others who had been on the Express for the longest time, Dan Heng, the incarnation of the once-feared Dan Feng, and the living Stellaron himself, Caelus.
The three of you were focused on the 3 young crew members that recently joined, bickering and teasing one another in the corner of the train car. The corner’s of Dan Heng’s lips curved up, admiring the young group. His olive eyes drifted down to his cup, swishing the liquid side to side in thought.
“Y’know they’re bickering the same way you and March used to,” Dan Heng murmured. Caelus chuckled, leaning his elbow against the table. He rested his hand against his cheek in amusement.
“Kinda weird, we're the old ones now. Does that make me Mr. Yang and you Miss Himeko?” Caelus joked. You rolled your eyes at his response.
“Yeah, you wish. You still act as goofy and immature as ever, Caelus,” you retorted. Dan Heng sighed, looking off at the group of young travelers again.
“...I miss them. Miss Himeko, Mr. Yang, March…” he trailed off. The three of you remained silent as music played out, along with whatever the other group was talking about. Seeing them so happy after completing their second mission brought nostalgia. It seemed just yesterday that you all were in their positions.
Your gaze softened, looking at Pom Pom reprimanding them for being too loud.
”I do too. Sometimes I wish all lifeforms had the same lifespan.” you murmured, looking at your own reflection in your drink. Caelus' face momentarily lit up, as an idea popped into the eccentric's head.
“Y'know what. Why don’t we go back to one of the worlds we used to like old times! Penacony! Jarilo-IV! Oh! Even your hometowns in Xianzhou Alliance’s Luofu!” Caelus suggested. Your heart churned hearing him say the Luofu. It had been decades since the crisis there where you had left to join the Astral Express, leaving your former boyfriend behind with his blessing.
You could still remember his soft gaze and sad smile, holding his hand with your own:
“The heart of a gentleman cares not about his own selfish desires, but of all that it encompasses from his breadth of heart.”
You hadn’t seen Jing Yuan in ages. You had heard he had retired and his apprentice—now grown—took the mantle of his position but you were too busy saving a world to attend the ceremony.
”...Personally, I prefer not to. However, (Y/n), I think it might be beneficial for you. Catch up on your old friends and see him again might do you some good. Although we are trailblazers, some of us with homes can get homesick. These opportunities are rare,” Dan Heng suggested.
Caelus quickly grabbed his drink, shooting it back and slamming it back down to the table.
”Exactly! So, are we in agreement to go to the Luofu?” Caelus murmured, nudging you. You opened your mouth to retort to the drunken human stellaron but your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Your elbow nudged his stomach as he groaned before you lifted your phone up to see the message.
Your eyes widened, lips parted seeing the message on your phone. It was from Yanqing. You hadn’t spoken to him in years.
As the general, he rarely reached out to you. Even prior to his promotion, you could tell he held some animosity towards you for choosing the path of the Trailblaze and leaving his master, Jing Yuan.
You couldn’t blame the child, just bore his unapproving gaze with a sad smile.
”Please come to the Luofu when you can. It’s important and I need your help. Only you can help him.”
Your heart sank as your grip on your device tightened. Out of all scenarios, there was one you could think of that Yanqing would bite his pride and reach out to you. But part of you didn’t want to believe it. It would make it real.
”What are you so focused on all of a sudden?” Caelus murmured, looking over your shoulder before getting quiet. You pulled your phone back and placed it on the table. Caelus peered at you with sympathetic eyes as Dan Heng’s narrowed in confusion.
“(Y/n)?” he asked, confused about your sudden somber and worried expression. You get up from your seat, the joy of the celebration completely gone leaving nothing but fear, longing, regret, and worry.
”Pom Pom,” you called out. The group of young travelers looked at you, noticing the change of your tone. The small conductor turned to you, leaning his head to the side in confusion.
“Yes, Mx (Y/n)?”
“Please set a course to head to the Xianzhou's Luofu.”
Docking at the Luofu ship you could feel your heart beating a mile per minute. You felt light-hearted, stomach churning from the amount of anxiety bubbling throughout your body. Yanqing would only reach out to you for something serious.
Had something happened to him? He seemed fine when you last visited, but that was decades ago…
”Jing Yuan…” you muttered, looking down on the ground. Dan Heng had convinced the group to stay on the Express for the time being. The boys you had known for so long knew you wanted to handle this alone. You’d have to thank him later.
Disembarking alone onto the ship, you could barely focus on the hustle and bustle of the square. Your pace was fast, gaze scanning and looking for someone familiar.
You finally focused on the tall young man with arms. His hair was long and tight in a low ponytail. When he opened his eyes, the familiar amber greeted you back. Your eyes softened as you approached him.
“Yanqing! you grew up. Oh! Wait, I guess I should call you General Yanqing now,” you chuckled awkwardly. Yanqing forced a smile, his brow furrowed from stress. You could see the bags under his eyes, from countless restless nights. Whatever this was, it was truly getting to the newly appointed general.
“Yanqing, what’s wrong…” you asked. The Cloud Knights adjacent to him looked to the General as he sighed.
”Let’s speak in my office, away from noisy ears and gazes,” he replied. You were caught off guard, by how deep his voice was. He had changed so much that the young apprentice who used to always come to you about stories of Jing Yuan.
As the two of you reached his office, you noticed a woman sitting on his desk. Your eyes narrowed trying to pinpoint where you recognized her, before a small smile appeared on your face.
”Yunli? Is that you?” you asked. Her eyes lit up as she gave you a polite smile..
“(Y/n), it’s nice to see you. I hope this blockhead hasn’t been too rude to you,” she replied. Yanqing grunted at her response.
”Not the time, Yunli!: he barked. She rolled her eyes, unamused at the blond.
”I don’t care!” she seethed. “The idiot is still prideful but I was hoping he, at least, bit his pride and contacted you.”
She strummed her hand along the wooden desk in irritation. You could see a silver band on her finger. Once again, it seems you missed a lot in your time Trailblazing. You turned to look at Yanqing once more.
“Yanqing, what’s going on?” you asked again. Yanqing massaged his brow, lips parting as he tried to find the right words.
”Master, he…” he struggled. “You know about Jingliu, his master, right?”
Your eyebrow furrowed. You could recall his somber face as he told you stories about her. She was an accomplished warrior who was a part of the High Cloud Quintet. Dan Feng's sin led him to his next incarnation, Baiheng died, a newly immortal Yingxing became the barely quelled mara-stricken Stelleron Hunter Blade, and Jingliu got mara-struck as well and went mad…
Leaving Jing Yuan by himself.
But it was not as though you could judge, you ended up leaving him too.
”Yes…”
”...Jing Yuan is mara-struck.”
Time seemed to pause as those words continued to ring out. Mara-struck? Mara-struck? Haha no. He couldn’t…could he really? This is what you feared when you got that message from Yanqing.
”What do you mean by that,” you whispered, struggling to process the information. Yanqing looked at Yunli and sighed.
“When Jing Yuan retired, it was because the mara was getting to him and affecting his cognitive abilities,” he responded. “To not cause panic with the public, I and a few others said he had retired before I was promoted as the new General.”
You balled your fists, nails digging into the flesh of your palms.
”...He had been suffering for that long and you didn’t tell me Yanqing!” you out. Yanqing tightened his jaw, Adam's Apple bobbing as he tried quelling his dry throat in shame.
“You were so busy going off and traveling! I didn’t think you cared or had the time to care!” he shouted back.
”You should have told me! I would have come back to the Luofu for him!” you barked back. Yanqing’s nostrils flared as he took a step forward.
”Yet you still left the Luofu despite Master!” he shouted back. The two of you stared each other down. Your chests were heaving, ready to yell, shout, and bicker; whatever insult and claims that came next but neither one retorted. Soon, the anger in both of your eyes subsided back into pain and shame. Both of your gazes shifted away.
”...Where is he” you whispered, eyes fluttering to stop any tears threatening to drip down.
”.Held in a secure solitary confinement. The knights I have patrolling that area have said he has been getting more aggressive. We don’t think we have much time before he tries to escape,” Yanqing admitted.
It was beginning to get harder to bat away the tears as you shook your head at the new information. You always thought you would greet Jing Yuan with that lazy smile of his again. Not…a monster, an abomination of Yaoshi’s.
”.What do you want me to do then?” you asked. Yanqing paused as Yunli sighed and got up from her seat, walking next to him.
”Those soldiers have heard him call your name at night. For some reason, your name has a soothing effect on him. Makes him…almost normal again. As normal as you can get being mara-struck, I guess,” Yunli revealed.
Her hands weaved with Yanqing who struggled to come up with words. Yunli clicked her tongue gazing at him before turning back to you.
”.Yanqing, thought it was best for you to come. As a last effort to try to quell the mara within him. If this doesn’t work, he will be forced to subdue his master to protect the Luofu and Xianzhou Alliance,” she murmured. Yanqing's eyes closed at Yunli’s blunt words.
You looked down on the ground.
Jing Yuan. Jing Yuan who always pulled you back in bed, lazily cuddling with you whenever it was time for you two to get up. Jing Yuan who would tease you with Tanghulu, stealing the last fruit without you realizing it. Jing Yuan who got you to hand the sparrows that seemingly always loved to land on him.
Jing Yuan whose lips dragged across your ear, whispering how much he admired you.
Jing Yuan who was the first person to tell you they loved you.
“Mx (Y/n)?” Yunli called out. You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly wiping away the tears that managed to spill out.
“Yes! Sorry, Yunli. Continue…. “ you replied. Although Yunli’s mouth opened to respond the next words were not heard but Yanqing
”Will you go and see him, please…” Yanqing begged in a broken whisper. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes.
”Yes, but with stipulations…”
Out of the places of the Luofu, you had explored and aventured, this was the first place you had never gone.
The secret unit had over five levels of security clearance and four levels underground. There was specialized personal guarding the only entry point. You and Yanqing walked in silence until you finally reached the final floor, where there was a single cell.
In the corner, Jing Yuan curled himself into a ball on the bed. His hair was wild and unkempt, but pieces of glowing ginkgo leaves seemed to be growing from it.
Yaoshi’s curse was claiming another.
Yanqing looked at you, eyes worried.
”Are you sure about this…” he murmured. You try to give him an encouraging smile to subside his fears.
”I’m positive…” you murmured.
Yanqing silently nodded as he opened the door to the former general’s cell. Jing Yuan didn’t move or react. You walked into the cell before the door was shut behind you.
”12 hrs. Remember, no one is allowed in here until then. Okay?” you called out behind the iron bars. Yanqing hesitated but nodded.
“Knights, clear out this level and guard the one before it,” Yanqing yelled out.
“Yes, General!” they all shouted in unison. The Cloud Knights in the area stood rigid and saluted before making their way up the stairs with him, leaving you and Jing Yuan alone.
You turned to him as he slowly uncurled himself, laying on his bed. His head had leaned against the concrete wall, a collar on his neck, wrist, and ankles.
You had heard in some cases, Luofu technology for high-risk prisoners would include these mechanics to induce an electrical shock but knowing Jing Yuan and his extreme power, it probably didn’t work on him.
His eyes finally met yours, narrowed and calculative—not the lazily warm way he used to. The biggest shock was how red they were, like freshly spilled blood than the warm golden light of the sun they used to be.
“You, why do you seem familiar? Who are you,” he grunted. You forced yourself to smile, gaze softening.
“Jing Yuan. It’s me. I know it’s been awhile. My hair might’ve changed a bit, but it’s me…” you whispered. You reached your hand and placed it on his cheek. As he recoiled back about to plant a counter attack on you, you could see him pause. He cautiously leaned back into your touch, eyes gazing up in your searching.
”...(Y/n)? You stayed. You didn’t leave after all!” he murmured. You could feel your heart shattered, as he grinned, wrapping his arms around you. His head leaned into the nape of your neck.
”I’m so happy you decided to stay after all. I didn’t want to be selfish and prevent your dream from seeing other worlds in an attempt to find a solution to Yaoshi’s curse…” he whispered, hugging you tighter. “But I wanted nothing more for you to just be by my side…”
He leaned away, eyes now an orange hue, mind, and body fighting against the mara in his system. He leaned away, grabbing your waist. His once usual lazy grin on his pale face.
”Marry me…”
”Jing Yuan...”
”Marry me…please. I’ll find you the best ring I can tomorrow, so forgive me for being so forward. I want to spend these centuries with you, and you being here in front of my eyes proves we are meant to be with each other,” he murmured.
You couldn’t stop yourself from breaking down in tears hearing his confession. You had left wanting to find a cure, to fight against an Aeon, to see Jing Yuan happy that no one else in Xianzhou would have to fear being mara-struck, but you found yourself here.
The one person you feared most getting it, without anything to show for your travels. How did you think you could compete against an Aeon? Perhaps this was Yaoshi’s personal punishment to you.
Jing Yuan sighed, getting up. His chapped lips kissed the salty stream of tears from your cheeks.
”Shhh, qīnàide. Why are you crying, my love? This should be a happy moment,” he cooed. You shook your head, lips quivering as you hiccuped and struggled to stammer words out.
”Jing Yuan, I love you too. Of course, I would marry you but…”
”No but’s. You said yes…” he teased. You placed your hands on his cheeks, pleading with him. You pressed your forehead against his, hoping your touch would ground him.
“Jing Yuan, I did end up leaving. I still haven’t found a cure for mara…for you, for everyone suffering on the Xianzhou. It’s been over 100 years since I left and joined the Astral Express.”
”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Your blurry vision looked up to see Jing Yuan. His eyes were red again, but they gazed softly against yours. He brought his hand down, gently caressing your soft hair.
”I know. I’m sorry for being confused at first. I’m sorry you’re seeing me in this state, but I still meant what I said,” Jing Yuan sighed as he brought your crying form on his chest, lying beneath the uncomfortably small bed.
”...I’m not going to be able to stop this, am I?” you asked the now fluid Jing Yuan. He flashed a somber smile.
“...No.”
“Yanqing…”
“I know…”
You paused not knowing what to say.
“...I do have a favor to ask you though. However long we have to be together…” he murmured
“Marry me. Be mine for an hour, a day, anything. I’m just happy to have you in my arms once more.” he murmured. Lifting his hand to wipe more tears. His nails were sharpened and black.
”...Anything for you, Jing Yuan.”
His lips reached over and kissed you. Hand gliding up your sides as if to remember the feel of your skin beneath his touch. His large palms found a way beneath your shirt, guiding the fabric over your head and onto the ground.
He grabbed a handful of your chest. Lips moving away from your lips and trailing on your jaw and neck. You could feel his teeth were sharper than before, the tip of his canines grazing the sensitive subtle areas of your neck.
Jing Yuan easily ripped through his thin shirt, revealing areas where the mara could be physically seen, botches of his skin beginning to blacken and glow in golden hue.
Your hands gently glide down his large pectorals and abdomen, resting at the waist of his loose pants. Your hand darted beneath his pants, feeling his heavy cock beginning to rise from your touch.
Jing Yuan’s whole body shuttered before letting a grunt out. You tightly gripped his length, pulling it in a rhythmic motion as his breaths got heavier and heavier. Precum budded at his tip, as his cock quivered from your jerks.
You shimmied his pants down, as his cock slapped against his abdomen. You leaned down, poking your tongue out to lick the slit of its head. Jing Yuan grunted, eyebrows furrowed. His nails buried in the thin mattress of the bed, desperately trying to control himself.
Kissing his tip, you opened your mouth engulfing his length to your mouth. Salty yet sweet precum was already leaking down to your tongue. His grip was getting tighter, as an almost unhuman growl came from him.
“F-Fuck, darling!” Jing Yuan choked out with his head hung back to the wall. He desperately tried to quell his desires, wanting nothing more than to pull your head all the way down till he felt the back of your warm, wet throat.
You bobbled your head up and down, fingers drifting down your pants. Noticing this, Jing Yuan easily ripped the fabric—exposing your slit, drooling and waiting for him. As your tongue hit a prominent vein at the back of his cock, his body became more rigid— gingko beginning to glow more.
His large fingers swiped a finger between your folds and let it nudge against your throbbing clit with every stroke. Feeling your slick dripping down your inner thighs and his finger, he pushed past your puffy folds and slid it inside your dripping pussy. You bit your lip, barely muffling a moan feeling him pump. His eyes lapped up every shiver and moan from your lips. Memories of the times he had claimed you coming back to him.
He could feel your cunt fluttered down on his fingers drilling inside of you.
He wanted more.
He wanted to make up for these hundreds of years of not being beside you.
“...(Y/n)!!” Jing Yuan grunted. He let his desires finally get to him as his hand went down to your head, pushing you deeper against his cock surprising you, as you slightly choked. His hips slightly bucked, as you grabbed onto his thighs nostrils flaring to try and breathe.
His hips jolted as ropes of thick cum shot to the back of your throat. You tried swallowing, but it felt like a never-ending stream. Eventually, you lifted your head coughing as his essence streamed down your lips. His pace continued to be brutal, letting his thumb rub tight circles against your clit as your thighs squeezed together.
“That’s how I remember you. Come now, let me be reminded of that cute expression of yours,” he cooed. Your body shivered as your back arched, finally reaching your high with his name echoed from your lips. Jing Yuan smiled, sliding out of your pulsating cunt.
Jing Yuan repositions themselves, hovering on top of his still-hardened cock. It was still twitching as the veins wrapped around it throbbed in excitement.
Cock teased against your slit, nudging the top against your needy clit repeatedly as it burned in stimulation.
Catching your breath and looking down, you noticed his cock was unusual. In the darkness, you couldn’t tell much difference but observing it now, you could. You recalled him being long, and thick, with a few moles decorated near the base. It had a gradient now, his pale skin turning into an obsidian hue. His veins were golden, with every pulsate the light would brighten and dim.
“I finally get to have you again…” he whispered out almost in ecstasy, moving on top of you.
The head of his cock pressed into your entrance back and forth. Your body jolted as he slowly entered inside of you. You sucked a breath in, feeling him stretch you out wider and wider as he plunged deeper.
Jing Yuan hummed, letting his fingers swirl against your clit once more trying to distract you from the dull pain. A moan escaped your lips as he eventually bottomed out, tip hitting against your cervix.
Not even giving you time to get used to him, Jing Yuan began thrusting hard inside of you. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly, fingers digging into the cheap sheets. The bed squeaked and moaned, wood hitting against the concrete wall with the rapid pace he had set.
His lips connected with your neck, sucking and nibbling the skin. His canines, poke you every so often. A groan escaped Jing Yuan’s lips, addicted to the feeling of having your cunt squeeze him, trying to milk every drop from him. His balls smacked against your ass as your legs wrapped around his waist.
Lost in the pleasure, Jing Yuan let one of his hands go from your hips, noting the crescent moons from his sharp nails already developing there before grabbing onto your chin. He was drinking up your expressions. The way your lips curled and shouted his name. The light sheen of sweat on your skin. The smell of your perfume mixed with sex in the air.
He drank up one hundred years' worth like a man starving.
“I love you…I love you…I love you...I love you…” he grunted. His groans were becoming more and more unnatural and inhumane, as you desperately clung onto him.
Your velvety walls squeezed tight feeling the ridges of his cock rub against that mouth-watering spot inside of you. Your legs wrapped around his waist in a futile attempt for him to get even deeper.
His cock twitched inside of you as he propelled his cock inside of you faster. With his continued ministrations on your clit, it wasn’t long until you reached your second climax wrapping your arms around him.
He snapped his eyes shut, hips flattering letting ropes of his thick cum shoot inside of it. He slowly thrust, pushing it deeper, trying to nurse his body down from his high. A trail of his essence managed to leak out, and travel to your inner thighs despite his cock still plugged inside of you.
You caught your breath as Jing Yuan’s gaze shifted to the side, seemingly colder before meeting yours once more and warming up again. You brushed your hand against his white hair clinging to his forehead.
“...Will you be leaving again soon? I’m sure you can’t stay in my cell forever. 12 hours right?” he asked, placing his palms on top of yours that were on his cheeks. You could feel his cock still pulsating inside of you, his lazily bucking into you every so often.
“...Yes, but then in 24 hours I’ll see you again. I’m staying, this time. I promise. I’m going to make you better and make up for all that time,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him. Jing Yuan merely stared at the wall, crimson mara-struck eyes narrowing before turning to you and smiling.
“As long as you remain in the Luofu, by my side, I will be happy…” he replied.
The world seemed almost grey, your mind as foggy as a cloud. You don’t know how long you have been crying for. You just knew your eyes were puffy and stung from how much you had.
A few days after you saw him, Jing Yuan went to the point of no return. Many soldiers were lost in the chaos of it all.
Despite your visits, and him acting…mostly normal with you. Whenever you would leave, you’d hear reports the next day on how aggressive he had gotten. It only took three days for him to try to escape.
Reports read that he was set on leaving with you, no matter what it took. Yelling how he had to make it to the Express to see you. Or how you were waiting for him in your old shared apartment together. How you had promised you would come back to him.
Seeing you in the flesh and leaving again and again, even for short periods, left Jing Yuan’s mara-struck form desperate to get you back again and feel “normal”. His sanity finally had gone, leaving nothing but the mara to control your once beloved boyfriend.
Yanqing gave the last blow last night in a hard fought battle.
There wouldn’t be any more visits and the hope of finding a cure. He is gone, for good now.
Yunli had given you a key to his old place, insisting to get anything before the Cloud Knights removed everything.
Yet you found yourself curled into his old apartment and bed gazing at the unsent letters hidden in his desk drawer. Stacks of them for years. You could hear his voice telling you about his day, what he was working on, how Yanqing was improving, how he missed Jingliu
…How he missed you.
How he wished he actually proposed.
How he wished he started a family with you.
But most of all, how he wished to see you happy.
“It’s okay though. As much longing in my heart I have, I feel pride knowing you are saving other words and looking to help the Xianshou people. Whenever I look to the stars, I think of you. I love you. I wish I could see your smile right now.”
#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star x reader#hsr x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail smut#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan smut#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#yandere honkai star rail#yandere jing yuan#tw yandere#tw character death
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Sanari in the shadow of Hydrogah
test page for Astral Drift
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖ NAPPING WITH THEM.
fandom. honkai star rail
pairings. blade, dan heng, gepard, jing yuan, welt x gn!reader
content warnings. sfw, sleeping/napping with them, sharing one bed, written in lowercase, not edited/proofread
word count. 0.8k
notes. i literally word-vomited this after my first final exam, please don't expect too much ;-;
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ blade.
blade isn’t a napper, too busy with his work and often too energized to even sleep properly at night. but when he does, it’s only because you ask him to join you. and even then, when you fall asleep in minutes, he lays wide awake while you sleep peacefully in his arms. he doesn’t even bother with trying to sleep, simply closing his eyes, and enjoying the peace he has when he’s with you.
it has only happened a few times, where he fell asleep, and you had to wake him. he doesn’t like the feeling, not quite asleep but also not quite awake. it dulls his senses, something he hates, yet he doesn’t complain. blade could never complain or refuse to join you during your naps, not when you snuggle up to him with a small smile, happy to be close to him.
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ dan heng.
dan heng is a chronic napper. With his irregular sleep schedule, he has to catch up on sleep, or else he can’t properly function. so, it’s no surprise that he can fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow, curling together while the astral express continues to drift across the stars. sometimes he drags you with him, seeing those dreary, dark circles under your eyes and decides that both of you need some rest.
even when he’s with you, he curls together, this time around you, as if he’s a dragon hoarding his treasure. it keeps you warm and assures him you’re safe, bodies hidden behind that flimsy blanket of his. not that it’s needed, when his room is properly heated and he himself always runs warmer than most... and then you sleep, duration varying, depending on the amount of sleep you try to catch up on or if one of you is needed. but it already happened that the two of you slept a whole afternoon away and when you woke up, you just stayed in bed, simply because bedtime was in a few hours anyways.
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ gepard.
despite being busy with being a captain of the silvermane guards, gepard often takes naps. not those long afternoon naps, where he sleeps for hours, oh no— the longest time he ever napped were 45 minutes on the dot, always waking up the moment his alarm rings. you on the other hand enjoy longer naps and always grumble when he leaves the warm bed.
but it’s enough for you, when you fall asleep with him, sharing warmth beneath the thick blanket. his soft snores are a lullaby to you and help to calm your mind, drifting off to a well-deserved sleep. and when he tangles your hold from him to go back to work, he always kisses your cheek to soothe your complains. he would return into your waiting arms, he always does.
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ jing yuan.
taking an afternoon nap with the general is rare. but when it happens, you don’t nap alone. the purrs of his giant white pet lion and chirps of his little songbirds lull you into sleep. snuggled close to jing yuan, your head is on his chest, while his arms are wrapped around you. napping with him is a cherished comfort, the tender closeness making you blush, but you don’t deny your enjoyment of it. you know he enjoys it too, always falling asleep with a soft smile on his lips.
and when you wake up, hair tousled and eyes bleary, you can’t believe that this man is yours. yours to love, to hold and cherish. he looks pretty like this, guards down and body pliant, undeniably pretty. moments like this are rare, even rarer than these naps together, so you hold them close to your heart, making them a treasured memory.
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ welt.
welt frequently naps. often for one or two hours, to catch up on the sleep he lacks. you never join him to fall asleep with him, since he never tells you that he wishes to nap. but you know he likes to wake up with you in his bed, snuggled close together and quietly snoring your exhaustion away. sometimes you miss his naps, often busy with your own work, but often you join him, slip beneath the covers and warm your cold limbs up.
and when he wakes, he never leaves the bed immediately. instead, he watches your relaxed face, listens to the soft breathes leaving you, letting himself drift and simply enjoy the moment. sometimes he falls asleep again, sometimes he does not. it doesn’t matter to him, not when he can enjoy waking up next to you.
taglist. @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @auraxins , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @stellumi , @bladiekisser , @trailblazernet
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).
ARKHAM MAID 2023
#honkai star rail#blade x reader#dan heng x reader#gepard x reader#jing yuan x reader#welt x reader#blade x gn reader#dan heng x gn reader#gepard x gn reader#jing yuan x gn reader#welt x gn reader#blade x you#dan heng x you#gepard x you#jing yuan x you#welt x you#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail fluff#— ˚₊‧⁺˖ creations
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LOOK AT THEM!!!!
I’ve been eaten alive by an AU that @rhapsodicalfreddie and I have been just chewin’ on the last few days, where the mutiny comes early for Yondu and Yondu bolts with Peter to the last person he ever thought he’d look for help again—Stakar Ogord. Lots of tension, emotions, etc, but a new Ravager crew means new leathers.
#screamin internally externally on an astral plane#lil pete!! big pete!! YONDU!!!!! STAKAR!!!#screamin crying drifting into space#gotg#peter and yondu#ravager family
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Ways to shift!
DISCLAIMER: Now this isn't full proof, please take this all with a grain of salt because what works for other people might not for you. I want to emphasize that you don't need anything to shift, you just need yourself! I'm am simply going to be listing some ways you can actually shift (like states you can be in) and this was all done by research I have seen on reddit so shoutout to r/shiftingrealities. 𓆩♡𓆪 Without further ado, enjoy the VERY long research that I have done so far!
When you shift realities two things mainly happen: 1. You connect to your DR which is basically just when you visualize and robotic affirm / affirm. 2. Or when you detach from your CR. This is when you get into an altered state of consciousness. Meditation is a great way to help with this, though it isn't needed!
There are different types of states/methods, I'll list the many I have done research on so far. Hypnogogia: This state is the state between wakefulness and sleep. Sleep methods usually use this state because you experience this state while you're drifting off to sleep! Hypnopompia: This is when you first WAKE UP, when you're still very groggy. If you can't seem to shift during sleep methods, use this state when you first wake up if you remember! Lucid dreams: These are super good since you're already detached from your CR self and in your dream world. Though, it can be a little difficult to shift through, it's still fun experiencing a lucid dream and gives you motivation when you experience it. (I've listed ways to get Lucid in my last couple of posts!) Sleep Paralysis: Sleep paralysis is a state of instant manifestation so what you feel, you see, you experience. Hence, why it's so good for shifting. Try not to freak out when you get into this state because it can cause hallucinations (speaking from experience oh my goodness). But super great! You can also go into a lucid dream from there! Meditation: Basically, you get into a meditative state and lose awareness of your CR and gain awareness of your DR. Like the redditor said, This has never worked for me but, it has for a lot of other people!!
What type of shifter are you guys? Meditative shifter
Manifestation shifter
Xenophrenic shifter All my lucid dreamers, astral projecters, and sleep paralysis cool people fit in here.
Sleepy shifters: Hyonagogia and hypnopompia girlies fit in here( 🙋) . Tiredness is a great altered state of consciousness because your brain waves are different from when you're in an awake, alert state of mind.✧₊⁺ Happy shifting!
#shiftblr#shifting community#reality shifting#shiftinconsciousness#shifting motivation#quantum jumping#shifting blog#shifting realities#desired reality#shifters#shifting methods#shifting ideas#anti shifters dni#shifting reality
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Can i request megumi comforting reader after a bad day? i need happy comfort fluff today and you words are magic
★ Stargazing with Megumi
★ Pairings : fem reader / Megumi
★ Synopsis : Megumi takes you stargazing. Who knew he was such a space nerd?
★ Content : fluff, comfort, cheesy/dorky flirting
★ Note : 🪄🔮 sprinkling cosmic happiness dust on u rn!! hope u feel better!!
Arms spread out, laid on your back in the cool grass as a humid summer breeze drifts by, looking up at the dusky purple sky as stars slowly start to appear one by one.
Megumi shifts around next to you, trying to get comfortable. He bends his knees, you glance at his legs and note how much longer his legs are than yours.
A soft sigh leaves his nose. He brings his hands together over his midriff and fidgets his fingers while stealing sideways glances of you.
One particular star in the sky has caught your attention. It shines like a jewel. You blink at it, ignoring all the other littler stars that are coming out.
"Megumi, which star is that?" you ask.
"That's Venus."
You stare at Venus. "Why is it so much brighter than the rest?" you wonder aloud.
Megumi looks over at you, his heart throbs, then he looks back to Venus.
"Because it has thick clouds that reflect lots of sunlight." he answers your curiosity, "Uh, and it's the closest to earth. You know, it's also the hottest planet in our solar system — because of its clouds."
He goes on a long, dorky ramble about planets and constellations. You smile and listen to him geek out about space.
⁕⁕⁕⁕
Just a few hours earlier, Megumi had found you lingering gloomily on the steps outside Jujutsu High.
He did a double take and furrowed his brows when he saw your weighted expression. Characteristically, he sunk his hands into his pockets and approached you coolly.
"What's that heavy face for?" he asked.
"Bad day." you shrugged.
"Oh..." he stiffened, "What happened? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.
"No, nothing in particular happened." you replied, "It's just been one of those days, you know?"
He scrambled his brain for ideas that could make you feel better.
What would the others do?
What would Yuji do? He'd crack jokes until you smiled and then infect you with his contagious laughter. What would Nobara do? She'd take you out on the town for retail therapy — and hype you up in the fitting rooms until you felt like the hottest person in the world. What would Gojo do? Probably give you one of those bone-breaking hugs while saying something dumb like "Don't be sad, it's just life, kid."
But joking didn't come naturally to Megumi, and he didn't believe in retail therapy, and he was too shy and reserved to give you a bone-breaking hug, and he was too sensitive as a person to tell you to just get over it.
"Uh, do you want to stargaze with me?" he asked.
That was the only idea he could come up with. Laying in the grass and stargazing was something he did when life exhausted or disappointed him. The stars could call back his calmness.
⁕⁕⁕⁕
"... I feel bad for Mercury, it must be lonely without moons." Megumi finishes his long ramble about Mercury.
"I think I'm Mercury." you joke, laughing at yourself.
Megumi looks over at you, "Then I'll be your moon and keep you company."
Your cheeks warm up.
"Okay, then let's tell 'em to rename Mercury to Megumi and throw a me into its orbit, too."
Megumi fidgets with his fingers more as you and him flirt like dorks.
"... yeah, and then you can orbit around me." he nods.
"Sounds like a good time. I'd love to orbit around you."
His cheeks go red, but the lamps are too far away to illuminate his face and reveal his blush to you. So you just barely see his lips purse together into a smile.
"I'd also love to orbit around you. I could be like your moon admirer."
You burst out laughing at last, and then Megumi feels accomplished; he could actually fix your mood with some stargazing and dorky astral flirting.
For the rest of the night, he teaches you how to spot famous constellations and passionately talks about outer space. At some point, when he's saying something about Pluto, you zone out to his voice.
"... and you know, personally, if I were Pluto I'd be enraged. How dare they."
"You got a bone to pick with NASA, Megumi?" you chuckle.
"It wasn't NASA it was the IAU. And yes I have a bone to pick with them."
"So, why was Pluto downgraded to a dwarf planet?" you ask.
Megumi clicks his tongue, "Uhhh... something about it not absorbing surrounding debris or something? Like asteroids and stuff. But jeez, maybe the asteroids are Pluto's friends and he doesn't wanna absorb them, you know?"
You turn on your side and use your arm as a pillow. Megumi feels you looking at him, so he looks over at you.
"You're quite passionate."
"That's a nice way of calling me a space nerd."
"No, I mean it! I hardly ever see you talking so heatedly about anything. You're usually pretty calm."
Megumi smiles a little. "Bet it's funny to see me heated about big rocks floating in a vacuum, huh?"
"Yeah it's hilarious. Anyways... we should get back before we fall asleep here."
"Have you never slept under the stars? It's a great experience." Megumi says.
"I have not. But it's getting cold so... you better keep me warm."
Megumi tenses up as you snuggle him. The sudden closeness and feeling of your warmth and softness takes him aback and he goes completely silent.
You rest your head in the crook of his shoulder, sinking into him like a pillow.
"Hey Megumi?"
"Yes?"
"Isn't Venus the planet of love?"
"Yes...?"
"Nothing, nothing... just thinking."
His heart pounds.
© arminsumi
I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
This is fictional work.
#fluff#sfw#jjk fluff#megumi fluff#megumi x reader#megumi#megumi fushiguro#megumi x fem reader#megumi x y/n#megumi x you#jjk megumi#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#drabble#arminsumi
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Noodle
✧ Imbibitor Lunae! Dan Heng x gn!reader
✧ synopsis: an evening of you getting familiar with dan heng's true form leads to the birth of an unique nickname - he doesn't complain though.
✧ content: established relationship, fluff, humor
✧ a/n: shocked gasps fills the hall. naru writing about someone else other than jing yuan?? scandalous. jk, this is a celebration of his banner dropping actually !! may all il dan heng wanters become il dan heng havers! enjoy this short sweet piece whilst you shower the boy in love or get stuck farming his materials. not beta read once again fellas.
It's a quiet evening onboard the astral express, everyone had already clocked out for the day and retired to their room to rest. Dan Heng had planned to do the same, having wanted to update the data bank before heading to bed for an early night.
But instead of doing that, he finds himself currently seated on the floor with his back leaning against one of the wall of bookshelves beside his futon on the ground. His hands are around your waist while you've wormed yourself between his legs on your knees so that you can be slightly taller than him for easier access to his horns - which you've been playing with for the last 10 minutes.
His head is resting against your bent forearms whilst your fingers are caressing the horns on his head with a content hum. He blinks his eyes open, adjusting himself so that he's now staring up at you, but your attention is still on his translucent horns.
"You having fun over there?" he asks in a whisper, and you nod with a grin.
"Yeah, did I mention how beautiful they are?"
"A couple of times."
"Well, it's true," you remind him, briefly looking down to make eye contact so you can give him a grin, "Can you actually feel them getting touched?" you ask, and the Vidyadhara male nods slightly.
"The closer you get to the base, the more I can feel it." he explains, which makes you tilt your head curiously to the side, "Sensitive then?" you inquire.
"No, not really. I think it has more with your grip," he clarifies, to which you raise your eyebrows, halting slightly to settle down on his lap, Dan Heng using the opportunity to lean his face into your neck. You chuckle, a hand naturally making their way up to graze a finger down the back of his horns - the action making the Vidyadhara male before you tremble slightly.
"It's ticklish when you touch me that gently, you know."
"Sorry, it's hard to adjust the strength, what if I accidentally hurt you?"
"You won't. But for reference the same strength you use to hold my hand is enough," he mutters into your skin, the way your fingers graze his horns somehow makes him sleepy, but he can't fully drift off to sleep because he feels that you have something more to ask him.
"... What is it?" he asks after a moment of silence, pulling away from the comforts of your neck to stare at you.
"Nothing, I just..." you mutter, "... Can I touch your tail too?" you finally ask in a whisper. Dan Heng blinks up at you in surprise before he let's out a sigh, "You're really liking this form of mine, aren't you?"
"Well, it's still you. More you than ever, no? Are you uncomfortable with me asking so much, though?" you ask, leaning slightly away so that you can give him space, but you find yourself unable when his arms wrap around your waist.
He shakes his head, "You can ask whenever you want. Nothing is too much with you."
He said it so casually that it surprises you. Your eyes softening at the amount of trust he has in you, "... Dan Heng?" you inquire, the Vidyadhara male tilting his head to the side with a hum, "Can I kiss you?"
He chuckles lowly, "What's with you and wanting to ask my permission so much today?" he mutters, fingers grazing your cheek before settling at the back of your neck, gently pulling you closer so he can peck your lips.
"Even I don't know what's gotten into me today," you tell him, "But can I still touch your tail?"
"Said tail has been out for the past few minutes you know. You've just been too absorbed in your own thoughts to realize," he points out, and when you direct your gaze down towards the floor, you notice that the translucent tail is indeed resting on your right side.
"It's as dark as your horns, but even more transluscent," you remark out loud, grazing the scales with a fingers, before picking the pliant tail up with your hands, "Ohh, it's even cool to the touch! Like the perfect temperature to hug," you say, wrapping your arms around the tail before letting you fall down to land on his futon, resting your cheek against the tail, the tuft of hair at the end tickling your skin slightly.
And you seem content for a while, rubbing your face against his tail, so Dan Heng goes back to his initial plan for the evening on updating a few sections of the data bank.
But it only goes a few minutes of him tapping away on the keyboard in the silent room before you quip back up again from your spot, "You know, with all these draconic features you have now, you're like a noodle." you say, Dan Heng raising his eyebrows in confusion, "Noodle?" he asks, just once more to confirm it.
"Yeah, you can summon a dragon that's like a long noodle, your tail is long too like a noodle, and if you think about it, dragons are able to just worm around like a noodle. So you're a noodle," you explain, "But you're my noodle, so it's cute," you say in the end, laughing at the new nickname you've come up for him.
Dan Heng rolls his eyes with a defeated smile. The tail in your arms suddenly disappear from your grasp, but before you can react at its sudden disappearance you find Dan Heng already leaning closer to you to slot his lips over your own once again, "I really don't understand you sometimes," he whispers when you part, "But I guess that's fine too."
You called him yours, and as long as he remains yours, Dan Heng can handle any weird nickname you conjure up for him in the middle of the night.
#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#star rail x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail imagines#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you
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The Aftermath
Premise: You're nearly killed on the job. Aaron is there to help you through the aftermath.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader
TW: descriptions of canon-typical violence, brief mention of ableism, survivor's guilt
Word count: approx. 1,000
The fraying threads of his throw blanket are the only things keeping you from crying. You pick at the red tassels, rolling them between your fingers over and over again. It’s a desperate Hail Mary. You’ve officially come unglued. You’re too shaken to do anything productive, like baking or taking a drive, without snapping into reality and breaking down. But the silence of nothingness is also too painfully loud. So you’re frozen, like an invalid, rhythmically stroking this fucking blanket because if you don’t, you’ll be there.
You’ll see the gun perfectly pointed at the inches between your eyebrows. You’ll see his smirk, the way he smiled, as his partner tightened the binds around your wrists, the warmth of your own blood dripping down your fingertips as the gun inched closer and closer and closer. You’ll watch as he and his smirk take over your field of vision as the carbon steel of the gun barrel brushes your forehead. He moves into kiss you– the fucking freak– before a shot rings out, and for a moment, you’re certain you’ve heard your own death– as if your spirit you weren’t sure you believed in left your body and you’re observing your last moments in an astral projection.
But you were listening to his death. The barrel of the gun fell away 100 times faster than it came as the unsub succumbed to the bullet through his temple. You screamed as you thrashed against the wooden pole, like a child screaming for a lifeguard. More shots rang out and you heard from roughly two yards behind you the crack of his accomplice's body smacking against the concrete.
It was over.
“Are you okay?” You flinch and whip around to the source of the hand that had the audacity to touch you. It was Aaron. You snap back into the present, and the coil in you relaxes. You force it back into its spiral before you come undone.
You allow yourself a moment to take in his face: the shadow of the deep set of his eyes and his signature tense brow. Your eyes disobediently drift to his torso and your breath hitches. You recall collapsing against it. You recall how the air in you and the room disappeared as you sobbed. You recall how he gently cupped your shoulder blade as you fell to pieces on his shoulder.
You recall how something in you froze when the paramedic touched your shoulder. How the fear choked you.
You can’t breathe.
Aaron’s suddenly kneeling before you. “Are you okay?”
You scratch your head. Your eyes burn. “I’m…” You rub the tassels between your fingers. “I’m losing it.” You whisper.
“You’re not losing it.”
“How would you know?” You ask genuinely.
“I know you.” He says gently. He pauses. “What you’re feeling is normal and right. It would be worrying if you weren’t affected by what happened.”
“Of course I’m affected by what happened.” It spills out of you before you can block it along with a few rogue tears.
He reaches for the coffee table and grabs a tissue. He offers it to you. You smear your cheeks dry.
“We can talk about it." He says. "I’m here to listen or talk with you if it will help.”
You were silent when the medics checked you over. You were silent on the jet ride. Aaron let you exist in your silence even when you both knew you would have to puke up the intimate details for an incidence report for the FBI that would be scrutinized by higher-ups and mental health officials. The most violating moments of your career, from start to finish, would be under the detective lights of anyone with the authority. It would be immortalized in some database. The most terrifying experience of your life couldn’t even just be yours.
You both knew that, even if he couldn’t know how much it terrified you to your bones– how violated you felt– to have your life like that on display to whomever it may concern. But he allowed you to cling to your safety blanket all the same.
But now you were off the jet and not in prying eyes. And though, over the course of your blissful yet short love affair, you knew he would not go away quite as easily. You suspected he wouldn’t pry; it wasn’t in his nature. But he would make it clear how open he was. And knowing you, and feeling the emotions bubbling against the lid of the pot you’d trapped them in, you felt like you had two options. And you didn’t like either.
“I don’t…” You swallow. “I’m upset.”
He gently grabs your hand like he’s cupping a fragile thing. When you don’t jerk, he squeezes it. The knot begins to unfurl and before you can register it, more tears stream down.
“I feel like I should’ve been ready for this, but I’m not.” You admit.
“Being held hostage?” He asks gently.
You sniffle. “It’s my job.”
“It’s not your job. Your job is to solve crimes. That was not another job responsibility. That was a traumatic experience.”
You sob. He cups your wet cheeks.
“I’m here.” He says. “I’m right here.”
“How can I go back to work after this?”
“You don’t have to bounce back.” He assures.
“I feel…I feel…I can’t put it into words.” You wipe your face in frustration.
“Is trying to explain it helping or hurting?”
You sniffle, mucus uncomfortably coating your throat. “I think it will help if I…stop being so hard on myself.” You confess. “It’s just…I feel so frozen. I still feel frozen.”
“It’s normal to feel that way directly following something like this." He says gently.
You shake your head. “No, I’m not talking about the aftermath. I’m talking about during. When I was tied there.” You swallow thickly. “When he had me.”
“I couldn’t breathe.” You continue, grateful he gave you a moment of silence to pull your thoughts together. “I was…helpless. At their mercy and I…I...”
You squeeze the blanket in a white knuckle grip. “How could they do that to me? How could that happen to me? How can…how can I feel this way?”
His eyebrow furrows. “What do you mean?” You know he can feel the guilt radiating off of you.
“He killed those other young women. Mutilated them. Violated them. I was the lucky one, wasn’t I?” your voice cracks.
“No. No one is lucky in a situation like this. Your pain is valid and doesn’t take anything away from his other victims.”
“I feel helpless.”
“It’s okay to feel helpless.”
Something in you jumps at his response. “What do you mean?” You sniffle.
He bites his tongue. You see that furrow in his expression– like he’s weighing his approach. “Your life was in grave danger. The pain won’t go away; your mind and body need time to heal. And I swear I will take care of you as long as you need. You have all the time in the world to recuperate.”
“What about–”
“You don’t need to worry about work right now. All I want you to do is worry about you.”
Your lip can’t help but quirk upwards. “Pot meet kettle.”
He smiles. “Pot meet kettle.” He kisses the tip of your nose. “I love you. I’m here for you.”
“I love you too.”
He hugs you, his arms warming you through the cover of the throw blanket. You’re can't comprehend how you will heal from this. But in his arms, you know you won't be walking alone.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Grateful for you <3
#aaron hotch x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner x reader#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch fanfiction#hotch
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