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astraystayyh · 11 months

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Echoes of love

"to love someone is firstly to confess : i am prepared to be devastated by you."

Chapter i. to forget

genre : memory loss trope. angst. slow burn. unrequited love except you were in a loving relationship and everything changes overnight.

pairing : minho x reader.

summary : if given the choice would you love minho again? yes, you would've once said in a heartbeat. but now, you aren't sure of your response anymore.

cw : depiction of a car accident. mention of blood and physical wounds. depiction of a nightmare and anxiety attack. reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 14.8k words.

song recs : the night we met/terrible love/black friday/cover me.

a.n: she's here, she's yours, i hope you'll enjoy reading one of the most challenging things I've ever wrote :') your feedback is highly appreciated <3

special thanks to @forlix for going through this journey with me, i love you thank you, seriously, you mean the world to me. and to @dorisnumber1fan for listening to my initial rants about this fic, and all the ones i ever write. i love you and appreciate you so much, more than i could explain <3

quotes series masterlist. next chapter.

Day 1.

You're floating in a dark void, save for the specks of light swirling around you. A peculiar serenity fills your being, a tranquility unlike any you’ve ever known. It’s as though your body isn’t your own; but rather an otherworldly vessel, calmly traversing the cosmos, dancing in constellations with the stars that encircle you.

A sudden electrifying warmth surges from your hand, traveling down the contours of your knuckles, melting into the lines of your palm. It pulsates within your being as if you’re holding the Earth's very core between your fingers. You stir from your ethereal orbit, longing to break apart from the celestial lights, to reunite with your body once again.

The warmth intensifies, causing your fingers to involuntarily clench. A deluge of radiance enfolds you, drawing you into a luminous hole. You squint your eyes, drinking in the light- your first breath.

Your eyes flutter open in a daze, your throat parched, rasping like sandpaper against your vocal cords. White encompasses you yet again, from the high ceilings to the pristine bed you’re lying on. It takes you a few blinks to grasp your new environment- an unfamiliar hospital room. You wearily close your eyes, hoping for the stillness to return, aching for the peace you felt within your bones mere moments ago.

But to no avail; only the tingling sensation remains.

You tilt your head, eyebrows shooting upwards as you notice a hand clasping yours. A figure lies their forehead beside your body, black disheveled locks tickling your palm.

The warmth, you understand where it comes from now.

You attempt to slip your hand out of theirs, prompting the man to awaken with a jolt, surprise dancing across his features as his gaze meets yours. Dark circles adorn his face- testimonies to days of fatigue imprinted upon every feature of his. Yet, all of it dissipates as he gazes at you, lips slightly parted, bunny teeth peeking out. His face transforms into a radiant smile, stirring a mysterious longing within your soul- it brushes against your fingertips before slipping beyond your reach.

"You're awake," he whispers in awe, and your tiredness renders you mute. You point to your throat, hoping that he'll understand what you need. "Water? Is- Is that what you want?" he asks, a touch too eager, fingers running through his hair in sheer disbelief. You nod and he rises swiftly, pouring you a glass of water and bringing it to your lips.

You sip diligently as his hand caresses the crown of your hair, the warmth now traveling to the top of your head. You feel lightheaded as if the blood in your veins has thickened, the very life in you slowed to a faint whisper. Yet, a timid relief emerges as your thirst is finally quenched.

"I'll- I'll go call the doctor," he tells you, his beaming smile unwavering. It’s too bright, everything around you is, and you feel a throbbing headache growing at your temple’s base.

It's a mere minute before the man returns, a doctor and two nurses on his trail. You float within a haze as the nurse shines a beam of light in your eyes. The response of your pupils seems to please her.

"Do you remember what happened?" the doctor inquires and you frown. You've been racking your brain for an explanation as to why you're here, but to no avail. You shake your head.

"What's your name," he proceeds, lips growing into a thin line.

"Y/n, Y/l/n," you respond, your voice sounding foreign to your ears, as though it hasn’t left the confines of your throat for ages. You miss the darkness; you want to sleep again.

"What date are we?"

Your eyebrows knit together as you try to think of an answer. "The 20th or maybe the 21st September."

"What year?"

"2022."

An eerie silence falls upon the room, a stillness resembling the one of your dreams; but it isn’t comforting, on the contrary, it fills your being with an unsettling dread, one that trickles inside you with each second spent in silence. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. You close your eyes to avoid the sorry ones of the nurse.

"We need to run you an MRI scan," the doctor finally speaks up, tone somber. "It appears you're suffering from retrograde amnesia. But we have to make sure."

It takes time for the words to permeate your consciousness, for the syllables to settle in and start to make sense. Amnesia.

What have you forgotten?

“What…” you chuckle warily, fingers reaching up to soothe your throbbing forehead. “What year is it?”

"It's the 24th of September 2023. You were in a severe car accident two days ago, a drunk truck driver rammed into your car on your way home. You have a fractured rib and extensive leg injury, but no broken bones thankfully. We'll get you to the scan shortly, okay?" he speaks easily as if announcing that you've missed the rain while asleep. As if it’s not a year’s worth of memories you’ve seemingly forgotten, erased in the span of a blink, akin to footprints on sand washed away by the waves. Nothing of importance.

"So, you don't... remember me?" a soft voice quivers, barely above a whisper, and your eyes meet those of the man who’s been at your side, temporarily forgotten in the conversation.

His question is laced with a grave fear, evident in his dilated pupils and trembling hands. A lump blooms in your throat, its thorns pricking at your voice. You aren’t sure you want to answer that question.

"I- I don't."

"Oh."

You’ve never known that a human could crumble in silence, in an imperceptible gasp, so small you almost did not hear it. A crestfallen expression materializes on his face in the span of a heartbeat, features coming together in the rawest expression of anguish you’ve ever seen. You bite your lip.

"Who- Who are you?" you implore, urgency inflecting your tone, hoping that he's no one of importance. Someone who helped you when you got into a car accident. Someone minor who you wouldn't fault your brain for forgetting.

"I was... I-I am your boyfriend. Minho," he utters his name like a broken plea, eyes slightly widening to gauge your reaction. As though those two syllables hold within them a myriad of memories, ones you simply cannot forget.

You don't remember.

The doctor was right in his diagnosis. The scan showed unusual activity within your brain, characteristic of post-traumatic amnesia. You listened numbly as he cited the precautions you should take to heal your physical wounds- to rest, not carry anything heavy, ice your lungs, and go on walks. But you did not care for the state of your body, you’ve bruised it before and it has healed in its own time. It will do it again; it is a familiar path you’ve already undergone. But what about your memory? Your mind that robbed you of a year of your life? How do you get it back?

“There is no guarantee you’d remember. There is also no treatment for amnesia. We advise that you focus on healing first. Do not strain your mind,” your doctor smiled, before leaving the room. His silver wedding band shined mockingly underneath your eye. He doesn’t know what it’s like to forget the lover awaiting you at home.

Minho dutifully sat by your side, nodding along to the doctor’s words. He signed your discharge papers and settled your bills before you could protest, and he was now pushing your wheelchair through the hospital's corridors. You didn’t know what to say to him- how do you talk to a stranger who uttered your name with love dripping between its letters?

In the hospital’s parking lot, Minho pauses, squatting before you. His eyes are puffy, red veins contrasting against the pristine whites, betraying the tears he must have shed when he excused himself to the toilet.

You suddenly want to beg for a reprieve; it is too much pain for one day, too much for one soul to bear. But it is only six p.m. and Minho's gaze holds you captive, a new emotion dancing in his brown irises- grief. He's looking at you as though you're a phantom, gone when you are still very much breathing.

“We've been together for eleven months, and we moved in together two months ago,” he licks his lips nervously. “You have a two-month medical leave, and I- I don’t want to leave you alone, while you recover. So, you can think of us as… as roommates.” The word felt heavy on his tongue, a fresh wave of tears brimming in his waterline. He swiftly blinks them away.

Your parents are in a faraway city, so is your best friend. You were the one who decided to move somewhere so far, to flee from the skeletons threatening to spill out of your closet. You don't want to burden anyone. You just want to rest.

You nod in agreement and Minho attempts to smile. It is a useless effort; one he quickly gives up. There was nothing to be joyous about.

Minho takes your hand, gently helping you to your feet. He opens the door to his car, and you settle into the passenger seat. It smells pleasant, an apple-scented diffuser dangling from the rearview mirror. Yet, as Minho closes the door, the scent suddenly suffocates you. Your lungs ignite, consuming your oxygen to douse their rising flames. You can no longer breathe inside, panic rippling in your heart violently, pushing at your ribs, begging for an escape. You open the door, collapsing to your knees as a violent coughing fit overtakes you. You blindly clutch at Minho’s arm and he tumbles to the ground with you.

The ugly sob that had been trapped within your throat finally escapes, and passersby pay you no mind. It must be usual to hear gut-wrenching cries in a hospital parking lot. But Minho seems to care, as his hands soothingly rub your back, undergoing a steadfast path from the nape of your neck down the base of your spine. He’s not panicking and his touch appears to instinctively know how to speak to your sadness, how to soothe your sorrow with unheard words.

You imagine it's not his first time comforting you, and the thought only forces another sob from the depths of your soul, as Minho pulls you up once again. He sits your shaky figure on the wheelchair, closing the car doors.

“We can walk,” he tells you gently, and despite the quietness of his voice, it manages to break through your raging storm. A singular sun ray parting the gloomy clouds.

“It’s okay, I’ll... I’ll suck it up”

"You've been through a terrible car accident, and I won't let you sit here and panic, especially when your wounds are still fresh and your mind is trying to protect you."

His tone is resolute, eyes blazing with determination as he looks at you. You can only nod in response. So, Minho pushes your wheelchair to his house. He doesn’t huff, nor complain about the autumn sun scorching his skin, the effort to push you for the entirety of the road, and then inside his building. He only smiles when his eyes meet yours in the elevator mirror.

He’s tentative as he opens the door to his apartment, hand tightly gripping the keys before turning them, as if preparing himself for a bigger heartbreak, one that lies within what was once his sanctuary- yours too, you suppose.

Minho pushes you inside, pausing near the entrance as your eyes drink in the interior. He seems to await something, perhaps for you to remember the place you’ve called home for the past months. A few seconds pass, and he clears his throat, holding your arm to guide you forward. He avoids your gaze as you both venture in.

“This is the kitchen,” he points to a small kitchenette, where a flower bouquet seems to have wilted, much like the man near you- his emotions now diluted, eyes dimmed as they glaze over the walls. You spot your favorite mug on the racks, one that resembles a fairy mushroom. The sight of it makes your heart clench in your chest. So, this is your home, after all.

You leave the kitchen and walk down a narrow hallway when you stumble on your feet. “Easy, honey,” Minho cautions, and your hold on his forearm falters. He blinks at you before gazing up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry, force of habit.”

“It’s okay,” you reply in a small voice.

Minho leads you to the living room, cream-colored sofas with a navy blanket on top, multiple fuzzy pillows scattered all around. A tulip field painting graces the accent blue wall- your favorite flower, two matching slippers rest by the couch, racks of your novels adjacent to his collection of cookbooks, you assume.

It is all the more evident to you that you’ve both lived here, lives intertwining so seamlessly into one another. The place radiates comfort and warmth, but it refuses to penetrate your being, as if you’re harboring a shield of oblivion, ricocheting off any touch of remembrance. You’re an intruder, standing in stark contrast to the inviting coziness that envelops you.

“I like that wall,” you say in an attempt to lighten the stuffy atmosphere.

“We painted it together,” Minho smiles sadly, and your remorse seems to liquify, blending in with the blood running through your veins.

From the corner of your eyes, you spot three furry masses bolting towards you, small paws clawing at your feet. You feel another dent add to your heart, so much you are sure it would blow away at the tiniest gust of wind. Just how much have you forgotten?

“We… We had cats?” you ask breathlessly, eyes widening as you take in the two orange felines, and the gray, much smaller one.

“These are mine, but you also adopted them, in a way,” he explains, crouching down to pet his cats, scratching the sensitive spot behind their ears. He is tender with them and they appear at ease in his presence. You realize you’ve felt the same since you’ve woken up.

“Hey, my babies,” he coos softly. “Mom- I mean y/n- is tired so let’s give her some space, okay?” he quickly corrects, before gently pushing the cats away from your feet.

Minho shows you the bathroom before leading you to the bedroom- it's a bit untidy, worn clothes thrown on the ground, some of your accessories tossed on top of the vanity. As if the room was also frozen in time, awaiting your return to resume its familiar course.

“You'll sleep here and I'll just take the couch,” Minho interrupts your thoughts as he gently sits you atop the bed.

"But-"

"I’ll make you dinner so you can take your medication, okay?” he ignores your objections, adjusting two pillows behind your back to help you sit up straight, just like the doctor cautioned. His necklace, adorned with your initial, brushes against your cheek. “Try to sleep meanwhile. You need to rest.”

“Minho this is too much-"

“It’s not. If you need anything just call me over, I’ll leave the door open,” he says, tucking you in beneath the blanket.

“I don’t want to burden you,” you finally admit, voice slightly raised so he’d finally listen.

“Y/n, I love you.” He speaks so suddenly, fists balled on either side of your body. “And this is what I do for the person I love. I… I don’t know how to not care for you, don’t take that away from me, please. Please,” he repeats, voice faltering under the weight of his plea.

"Okay," you concede.

You can't quite remember that first night, the morphine injected into your veins made you ebb and flow out of consciousness, only recollecting small fragments of the hours flowing by.

But you remember the dull pain settling into your bones, one you knew would accompany you for the following weeks. You remember the thoughts swirling in your mind like a tempest- your near brush with death, how she almost trapped you into her icy hold; the year of memories gone with the wind, as if they were never yours to begin with; and the stranger whose home you are in now, the very one who took care of you throughout the night.

And you can't perfectly recall it, but you swear Minho stayed by your side until the early hours of the morning, warm hand pressed to your forehead to check your temperature, cold tears falling on your arm as he laid his head next to your sleeping body.

Day 2.

You miss being asleep the second you wake up in.

Every fiber of your being aches, as though pain has latched itself into every muscle, its grip unrelenting now that the morphine's comforting veil has lifted. You drag a hand tiredly across your face, tears of frustration welling like dewdrops in your eyes. It's only 10 a.m. Far too early for one's spirit to crumble.

A bright post-it note on the bedside table catches your weary gaze. "I went to drop your medical leave at your work. I've made you breakfast it's in the kitchen. Don't forget to drink your medicine, I'll be home soon"

What home was Minho referring to, exactly? Because this one wasn’t yours, and neither was the one back in your hometown. Were you destined to be a passerby in temporary places, always lingering near the door, ready to put your shoes back on and leave at any moment?

10:03. Still too early.

You find solace in having two months off of your work. You couldn’t bear being somewhere where everybody knew you for months, while your memories of them span but mere weeks. The expectations they would have, the pressure to conform, to mirror the footsteps of your past self was an unbearable burden. What if she was better than you? Made better choices, spoke more eloquently? What if you couldn't live up to the image they had conjured? What if you couldn't face the repercussions of your past actions?

10:07. You need to shower.

You slowly ease yourself off the bed, careful not to put pressure on your injured leg, avoiding even the slightest exhalation. You pretend as if nothing’s happening as you pick up a pair of pajamas that you recognize from the closet – a familiar relic from the life you’ve always known.

It's a charade, you’re aware of it. You're but treading on fragile ice, your pain threatening to shatter the frozen façade beneath your feet, plunging you into the frigid truth at any given moment.

You walk into the shower, attempting to rinse the day's tiredness away. But moving your limbs is a strenuous task, and you can't reach over your head to wash your hair. You let out a dry chuckle as the water runs over your back, splattering across the white tiles.

Your heart swells in your chest, an uncomfortable weight pressing against your fractured ribs. Still, it beats, and you cling with all your might to this one silver lining.

Minho has made you pancakes, not the most nutritious meal but the only one you can stomach on your sick days. He's also brewed you tea, a singular sugar cube resting at the bottom of your cup, just the way you like it. Your grip on your fork tightens, knuckles paling. You wish he had put three sugar cubes, or that he made you anything but pancakes, something to reassure you that he didn’t know you so intimately. That your mind hasn’t stolen a love where every detail of you was known.

The door opens, keys clinking on a solid surface. The sound of it tugs at your heart ever so faintly, a distant bell ringing somewhere far- it quiets down before you even realize it is there.

“Good morning,” Minho greets, the corners of his mouth curving upward although his eyes remain downcast, redness tinging its outlines. You look down at your cup, unable to hold his wounded stare.

“Good morning. Thank you for the breakfast and for going to my work. I really appreciate it,” you say.

“It's nothing. Your coworkers wish you a speedy recovery.”

“Mm,” you murmur. “That's nice of them."

“Here,” he slides a phone across the table. “I bought you a new one since your phone’s screen was smashed in the car accident, but I took it to a repair shop. Maybe they’d manage to fix it.”

You go to protest when he shakes his head, silencing you. “Don’t say It’s too much.”

A surprised giggle escapes your lips at his accurate prediction, momentarily halting Minho in his tracks. You swallow the sound down as Minho clears his throat, dissipating your laughter into thin air. “I put my phone number there. Also, the ones of your family that I have. Always call me if you need anything, okay?” he pauses, locking your eyes with his. “Anything.”

“It's okay, I really don't want to bother you. You might be busy."

“I’ll still answer,” he quickly responds. “I’ll always answer you.”

There is a certain sincerity that coats Minho's words, one that softens the edges of his letters, making them easier to permeate your being, to sink into the seas of your soul.

“Minho,” you call out gently.

“Yes, hon- " He inhales deeply, eyes looking anywhere but at you. “Yes, Yn?”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“Of course.”

The ensuing hours blur into a hazy dance, in which you’re only awakened by Minho’s warm hand on your shoulder, as he brings you lunch, then dinner to your room, paired with the medicine you need to take. He doesn’t talk to you, only carrying out the tray outside when he deems you asleep- as if tiptoeing near your existence, afraid he’d slip into you again, knowing you won’t be there to catch him.

It's nearly midnight when you leave your room to use the bathroom. You pause near the door when you spot Minho petting his cats. You don’t even know their names, you haven’t dared to ask, still foolishly holding on to the hopes that this is but a horrible nightmare, one clawing at your tender skin even after you rose.

“You’re sad, aren’t you?” he coos softly, and the cats respond with plaintive mewls as if understanding his words. “Mm. I’m really sad too,” his voice is barely above a whisper, as though it’s a confession he isn’t ready to speak out loud. The pain in your ribs intensifies.

“But it’s okay, she’ll remember us. We are her family, she can’t forget us forever, right?” your breathing hitches. “Right,” he adds softly, as if to reassure himself; to inflate hope in a heart deserted by you.

Day 3.

Minho threw away the wilted flowers, leaving the vase bare at the center of the kitchen table.

You almost wish he hadn't- those lifeless blooms were the sole reflection of your faded spirit within this home. Now everything in the house seemed alive, grand windows ushering in daylight to cascade upon the living space, causing the ivory walls to glisten. Everything, except for you and Minho, two ghosts skirting along the existence of one another.

There is, was, love imprinted in this house. You could sense it though you couldn’t feel it anymore. By the two cat mugs that connect through their tails, your products intermingling with Minho's in the bathroom sink, the notes you found hung on the fridge- some with his handwriting, most with yours, reminding Minho how much you loved him.

Where did all that love go? Did it dissipate into thin air, gone as if it had never existed? Has it turned into something else, lurking beneath the surface of your skin, waiting for you to remember?

You can’t find the answers, and as Minho finishes up his breakfast, you find yourself longing to ask him about the past year. Who you were and what you’ve lived. But you know it’ll feel like salt on a wound, akin to bringing a mirror before his face, reminding him of all that's been lost.

So instead, you offer to wash the dishes. He refuses, not that you expected anything else given his attentiveness to you.

“It’s only two plates and two cups, I can do it,” you insist, but he just stares blankly at you, before motioning to your ribs, and your swollen ankle. “It’ll be quick, please. I-I want to do it.”

“Fine,” he concedes, gaze softening. “But if you feel pain you'll stop.”

“Okay,” you smile tentatively, eager for the sense of normalcy that this mundane act would bring. You haven't forgotten how to wash a cup, at least.

Five minutes pass, and you suddenly freeze, plates drying in your hands. You have no idea where the dishes go.

This was your home, yet you can't even remember which cupboard holds the plates.

Silent tears flow down your cheeks and you wipe them away angrily. You clutch the plate in your hands so tightly you’re surprised it hasn’t shattered. You selfishly wish it did- you were tired of being the sole broken entity in this house.

A small whimper escapes your lips, startling Minho who was mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He rushes to your side, brows furrowed, concern woven into his face.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Should I call the doctor?” he questions; eyes raking through your figure anxiously.

You shake your head as your tears double over. You can feel your heart constricting in your chest, longing for comfort, for a missing piece that was snatched from you, the void it left behind pulsating achingly within your being.

“I-I don’t know where the dishes go, and yesterday I tried to w-wash my hair and I c-couldn’t do it,” you admit through hiccups, plate still in your hands. Minho gently takes it from your tight hold, and your pinky brushes against his palm. He flexes his hand at the touch.

“It’s okay, it’s my fault. I should've shown you,” his voice is gentle, reminding you of how one soothes a child during a tantrum. You're embarrassing yourself but you can't find it in you to care.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t p-put them back in their place,” you choke out, head turned down, tears ricocheting off sage tiles. You’ve always wanted a green kitchen. You’ve gotten it and you can’t remember.

“It’s okay, I’ll put them back. Shh, yn, please don’t cry.” He’s slightly panicking, hands tightly fisted near his body as if he’s afraid they’d act on their own accord, reaching out to touch you the way they’ve done the past few months. He sighs softly before taking a cautious step toward you.

“I’ll wash your hair for you,” he offers, smiling tenderly at you, knuckles brushing ever so gently against your cheeks. “Hm? You can sit in front of the sink and I’ll wash it.”

“You’d do it?”

“I’d do anything for you.”

There is a softness that emanates from every atom of Minho, flowing from his fingertips, molding everything he touches. You were sure of it as he stood beside you, pouring shampoo over your hair with you sitting on a stool, head tilted back to the sink, your favorite song playing in the background. As he dried your hair with a warm towel, and then settled behind you on the bed, gently lathering your hair with your familiar serum, brushing your strands with care, avoiding any tugs that might pain you.

Everything Minho does is not to hurt you.

You went to sleep with the ghost of his fingers lingering on your scalp, his warm breath still caressing the back of your neck. You found slumber came much easier to you that night. You account it to your hair finally being clean.

Day 4.

“Yn?” Minho calls out gently, his head peering through the bedroom door. “Should we go on a walk? Just around the block, the doctor said it’d be good.”

“Sure,” you nod, glancing at the bedside clock. 9:43 p.m. it reads.

“Dress warmly, it’s cold outside,” he advises softly before leaving.

A few minutes later, you're clad in a gray university hoodie that drapes slightly past your thighs and a pair of matching sweatpants. Minho halts in his tracks upon seeing you, his eyes racking furiously over your figure. He shakes his head, swallowing a growing lump of despair.

“Wait here,” he whispers, vanishing into his room, leaving you fidgeting in place. An orange cat sidles up to your feet and you slowly bend down to scratch its ears. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you,” you smile sadly and he purrs in response, as if forgiving you for forgetting.

You wished you could forgive yourself too, one day.

Minho comes back, a red scarf in his hands. He steps forward until only a few inches are separating your bodies. With attentive care, he wraps the scarf around your neck, securing it in place. His brows furrow as he loops the fabric through and you release a small, shaky exhale.

There is a fog dissipating before your eyes, a misty veil lifted off your irises. In the four days you've known Minho, you always willed yourself to not look at him for too long, afraid of the pain you'd discern brewing over his figure, the shadows cast across his face.

But now, he stands so near that you cannot help but look at him. Wispy black bangs fall on top of his forehead, framing his rich honey eyes. His long eyelashes flutter with each blink, pupils dilated like a constellation-laden night sky. The smooth bridge of his high nose, dotted with the smallest mole; a well-defined cupid's bow outlining rosy, plump lips. He’s beautiful, even in his sadness; with sunken cheekbones and darkened eye circles, the hunch of his back, and the shake in his hands as he gently frees your hair from underneath the scarf.

Was it wrong of you to find beauty in his pain?

His gaze softens when it finally meets yours, his hand still holding your scarf tightly, as if it's a lifeline tethering him to you, one with which he verifies your existence, suddenly so elusive now that it no longer entwines with his.

It must be strange, surely, to grieve the loss of someone who’s still alive, breathing in the room next to yours.

Minho smiles at you, his fingers hovering above your head, as though he wished to smooth down your hair. He retracts his hand back, burying it deep inside the pocket of his black sweatpants, physically trapping it, stopping it from reaching it out to you once again.

You’ve noticed his reticence to touch you, even when he wakes you in the morning to drink your medicine. His hand never fully rests upon your shoulder, it is only his fingertips that delicately graze your skin. It's as though he’s convinced you're but a figment of his imagination, and he fears that once he touches you, his hand will pass right through your body, shattering the illusion he foolishly held onto.

You blink and Minho’s already three steps away, grabbing his keys and opening the door.

Despite cautioning you against the cold, Minho doesn't say no when you ask for ice cream, paying for it before you can reach the counter. It's an unfamiliar brand, one that he advised you to try, and you don't regret following his choice. It’s a sweet mixture of vanilla and caramelized almonds, coated in rich milk chocolate- you can't stop the happy smile that graces your lips upon tasting it.

You glance at Minho to find an unprecedented softness coloring his expression, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards. It isn't a smile directed at you, but rather an uncontrollable display of his feelings, splashing across his face like paint on a canvas.

You expect him to swallow this mark of affection down, to conceal it with a placid expression, but he doesn't. He only tilts his chin forward, gesturing to the ice cream.

"Do you like it?"

You hum in agreement, a grin stretching wider on your lips. "I do."

"You did too, back then, when I showed it to you," he says, almost casually, as if referring to a childhood memory that turned out to be more important to him than to you.

"You have good taste," you reply, scrunching your nose playfully at him. The smile slips away from his face, his voice somber when he speaks again. "I really do, don't I?"

Walking with Minho isn't as awkward as you had imagined it might be. He shows you the neighborhood- the nearby playground, the hidden flower shop tucked away in a corner and you make a mental note to visit it later. You point at closed shops inquiring about them- he answers each of your questions diligently.

Your accident is never brought up, and you both tiptoe around the topic, skirting the edge of a dark forest where the light no longer seeps through and dark vines cover the sun.

You both refuse to venture into the unknown.

"Just down the road, there is a bookstore. They have really great deals and I bought most-" Shouts erupt from somewhere nearby, loud slurred voices of two men under the influence. Your hand instinctively wraps around Minho's forearm, while his hand moves in front of your body, acting as a shield.

You freeze, letting out a shaky breath. "I- I hate yelling."

"I know," he responds simply, lowering his hand.

He knows you- it is a comforting thought, to realize that you exist beyond the confines of your own mind.

Day 5.

Minho’s staring blankly at his phone, your conversation shining dimly before his eyes. You’ve just sent him a text reassuring him that you indeed took your medicine since he wasn’t home today with you- his three days off work passing by in the blink of an eye.

In his mind, the past week felt like a mirage, a nightmare woven with intricate threads of his deepest fears- losing you, never getting to see the glimmer in your eyes again, and then looking at it and realizing it is no longer directed at him.

He exhales softly, tucking his phone into the pocket of his navy trousers. The salty breeze from the nearby lake grazes his senses, and he closes his eyes, yearning for a fleeting respite.

He purposely avoids watching the sun's descent into the water, which paints the sky in hues of yellow and orange. He no longer finds the sunset unfolding before him captivating, or any other scenery, for that matter, even those he once deemed beautiful. The world, in his eyes, has become lackluster and devoid of vibrancy, overshadowed by a profound sadness he never fathomed would reside in his heart.

He still doesn’t know how he managed to remain strong until now, tending to you, holding your gaze, and breathing near you when you don’t even remember him.

You’ve survived, he reminds himself, you were lucky enough to be able to draw these breaths. The thought of any other outcome sends uncomfortable shivers down his spine. You’re alive and you’ll be home, he clings to this truth as he starts making his way back to his apartment.

For how long will this knowledge offer him solace? How long will it push him to face a new day? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he wants to.

It is much deeper into the night, the sound of the TV playing softly in the background. Minho has given up on slumber since the day of your accident. He was used to the feel of your fingers playing with his hair, your goodnight kisses planted on his forehead, then his on yours.

He doesn't know how to sleep without burying his head in your neck, your chest, your stomach, wherever he saw fit that day. And he was used to your warmth- the warmth of your body as he pressed it tightly to his, the warmth of your love as you whispered goodnight to him. And the living room feels immensely cold in your absence.

He fixates his gaze on the ceiling, resolute in his effort to avoid scanning the room. Since every corner he dares to inspect serves as a poignant reminder of the life you both once shared, a life whose echoes still reverberate in the air around him. The sound of your laughter, the memory of your annoyed whines when he teased you a bit too fervently. Vivid recollections unfold before his eyes- your tender kisses exchanged under the fridge's light, warm hugs by the front door after a particularly long day, none of you willing to let go first.

He remembers your delighted giggles the first time you entered the house. It was still unfurnished, save for a floatable mattress and two empty cups of ramen beside it. But you were happy, immensely so, and your joy seemed to fill every room, painting it with shades of your love. Now the house feels empty- you're here and yet you aren't, and he is still on the sidewalk where he received that fateful call from your hospital.

The moonlight filters through the window, and Minho looks at the light without truly seeing it. It's as if darkness surrounds him entirely- a bottomless sky where the stars of your affection have fizzled out, so suddenly, leaving him alone to wander blind. He can't help but feel guilty- had he not given you a love worth remembering?

Minho sighs loudly once again, trying to coax the reluctant breaths to escape his body. He pulls himself to his feet to check on you, knowing that you had to sleep upright for the first few days so your ribs would heal properly, which is why he often found himself readjusting your body at night.

He peeks through the door, the light from the hallway casting an ethereal glow on your body. He frowns when he notices you fidgeting in your sleep, eyebrows knitted together. A soft gasp escapes your lips and Minho hurries to your side. He's witnessed your nightmares before and he knows that this one must be particularly terrifying to elicit such startled sounds from you.

“Y/n,” Minho coaxes gently, but you don’t respond. He presses his palm to your shoulder, shaking you slightly. “Y/n, wake up.” You writhe in your place, fear evident in your features, and Minho grabs both your shoulders, growing more urgent in his attempts to wake you. “Y/n, come on wake up!” he speaks louder, and you startle awake, pushing his arms away.

“I’m... Where am I?” you ask frantically, hand running through your hair. A sharp pain seems to surge through your ribs as you clutch your chest, slightly doubling over.

“Take it easy, Y/n. Deep breaths,” he wills gently and you raise your head, meeting his eyes. Recognition shines in them, but not love, not anymore. He never knew affection could alter someone’s gaze this much.

“Minho… I- I remember,” you gasp, tears trailing down your face at an alarming rate. He freezes in place, tongue thickening in his mouth, unable to move it.

“What... what do you remember?” he asks carefully, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“The accident. I remember driving and I… I was going in my lane, I- I didn’t… I wasn’t driving fast, but a truck came out of nowhere and its lights blinded me, and then… it rammed into the passenger seat side of the car and-" Your hands shake as you bring them to your face. “The blood, there was so much blood coming out of me, that’s- that’s the last thing I remember, it was in my hands and my arms and-" You’re wiping frantically at your skin as if erasing remnants of the red liquid only you can see. “I bled so much but I was… I- I don’t-"

“Can I hold your hands?” Minho cuts you off, needing the panic to dissipate from your being.

“Please,” you stutter, and he promptly grabs your hands in his warm ones, intertwining your fingers together, rubbing his thumb soothingly across your palm.

“You are safe now. You are alive and you are breathing and you are safe.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, I drove safely, why… why was I hit?” you ask in a small, broken voice, overwhelmed by the unjust reality of the world. Minho swallows his own tears, throwing them down the pits of his pain. The one thing he wished you’d never remember was your accident, the sight of your unconscious body for those three days nearly driving him insane.

“He was drunk. And he’s in jail now. It wasn’t your fault you couldn’t have prevented it."

You remain silent, gaze lost on the wall. “Hm? It wasn’t your fault, right?" he presses, squeezing your hand lightly.

“Yeah.” You sigh, unconvinced. Minho reluctantly drops your hand to pour you a glass of water, and you diligently drink it, before curling around yourself in a ball.

“No, you can’t sit like this,” he gently reprimands and you pout.

"My heart hurts. The pressure helps."

“I know it does,” he smiles in understanding, “but we have to make sure your ribs won’t hurt more, alright?” he explains as he pulls you upright, tucking pillows beneath your arms. He grabs a hoodie from the closet and rolls it into a ball, placing it gently on your chest.

“Here, you can hug this instead.” You giggle quietly at the makeshift plushie, but your laughter suddenly morphs into fresh tears, catching him off-guard.

“I’m so tired, Minho. And I’m so frustrated and mad and sad. Is it possible to f-feel all these things at once?" You hiccup, burying your face into his hoodie, soaking it in tears.

“It is,” he hums gently, “Do you think it’d help if you talked to a therapist?” He feels you tense up beneath the comforter. “Only if you want to, on your own terms.”

“I’ll think about it,” you whisper.

“Of course,” he says. “Try to sleep again, mm?”

“I don’t think I can,” you chuckle quietly, wiping your tears away with the sleeves of your cardigan. “Do you have work tomorrow?” you ask.

“I do.”

“What do you work as?”

“Computer programming. I’m also a dance teacher on the side,” he adds quietly, feeling a bit vulnerable at revealing this bit about himself again.

“How do you manage both?” you ask in awe and he shrugs.

“My IT job leaves me a lot of free time. And I’ve always loved dance, so it doesn’t really feel like a job, you know?”

“Mm, you must work very hard at it. That’s why your body’s so toned,” you say almost absentmindedly, as Minho lets out a surprised chuckle at your words.

“You think my body is toned?”

“I mean- I didn’t ogle you I just… you know, you wear these fitted shirts it’s hard not to notice your muscles and-"

"You are sick and yet you’re staring at my body?” he tsks. “I feel used.”

“Hey,” you hit him with the hoodie he gave you. “Forget I said anything,” you pout.

“It’s okay, I work very hard for these, thank you very much,” he flexes slightly, and genuine laughter bubbles up from you both. This might be the one thing he misses the most.

You both quiet down, silence filling the room once again, but it isn’t awkward, it’s comfortable, almost as if you're the same person he's always known.

“What’s your favorite color?” you suddenly ask.

“Purple.”

“Did my favorite color change over this past year?”

“No,” he chuckles, “it’s still that obnoxious orange.”

“It’s not obnoxious, it’s peculiar.”

“it’s weird and it hurts my poor eyes,” he whines, covering his face as if wounded by the mere thought of it.

“Hey, what if it can hear us and now you just hurt its feelings?”

“Colors have feelings now?” he asks, amused.

“Everything has feelings,” you nod matter-of-factly.

“Okay then think of the feelings of this bed we are both squishing with our weights.”

“Don’t say that. Now I’m sad for it,” you pat the comforter gently, a slight pout tugging at your lips.

“I think you should sleep,” he smiles and you fake a gasp. “Is my convo boring you?”

“Yes. Now sleep, Yn,” he brings the comforter up your body, sliding away from the bed. “You’ll be okay, right?”

“Can you… can you sleep here too? I saw the inflatable mattress in the storage room. If that’s not… too much to ask for.”

"Of course not. I'll be back."

"Thank you, Minho" you smile, lower lip slightly quivering. "Thank you for not being mad at me."

Just how many cracks can one heart bear before breaking beyond repair? Minho thinks he's close to finding out.

Day 6.

The lights of your dreams have returned, but they are no longer comforting, nor warm, they glare harshly, searing your eyes as they announce your impending doom. Each second draws out in slow-motion and you find yourself counting the breaths you inhale, fearing they may be your last. One in, one out, one in, one out. The moment you dreaded unfolds- the truck collides with your car, flipping it upside down.

However, this time, flames rage within. You know that your car wasn't burned, but they feel terrifyingly tangible as they latch onto your skin. The heat becomes unbearable, you are no longer sure that this is just a mere dream. You try to scream but smokey air fills your lungs instead, robbing you of your ability to speak.

You need to wake up. You need someone to rouse you from this nightmare. Minho. You try to utter his name, but it escapes your lips in a strangled whisper. The lights won.

A cool hand clasps your own, yanking you from the fiery dream, dissolving it like sugar in a hot cup of tea. You startle awake to find Minho hovering over you, brows knitted in concern, his hand tenderly cradling yours.

“Are you okay? Another bad dream?” he inquires and you sigh in response, nodding as your head falls back onto the pillow.

He brushes your hair back, some damp strands still clinging to your sweaty forehead. "You screamed my name. Was I in your nightmare?” he ventures carefully, afraid he was one of the sources of your fear.

“No, I… I thought of you, in my dream,” you reassure, although your words seem to have the opposing effect, making Minho pause in his tracks. You’ve noticed his habit of freezing around you as if needing time to process what you just said. You wonder if you’ve ever came to learn the meaning behind each of his silences, what his blinks convey in ways his tongue fails to.

“You are heating up,” he clears his throat, pressing his hand against your forehead. “Do you wanna shower? I’ll make you tea meanwhile.”

“Okay, yeah. I’d like that,” you nod, glancing at your phone- 3.47 a.m.

Twenty minutes later, you find Minho sitting on the inflatable bed, legs crossed, two steaming mugs of tea before him. He appears drowsy, eyes shutting and reopening as if fending off slumber. It’s almost an endearing sight- the way his bangs fall before his eyes, obstructing his vision, the sleeves of his pullover dangling over his hands, hiding them from your view. He brought the mattress without you asking him to. The attention brings a smile to your face.

“Hi,” you greet softly and Minho looks up, a tender smile on his face. “Hey. Here is your tea.”

“Thank you,” you beam at him, settling on the edge of your bed, legs crisscrossed to mirror his. “I’m sorry that I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I wasn’t really asleep, just resting my eyes.”

“Isn't that what sleep is?” you snort and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“I was still conscious, you know. I can’t really sleep these days.”

“Is the couch uncomfortable?” you ask, worried, fidgeting with your lower lip.

“It’s not the couch,” he says as his eyes lock on yours, a stare so intense it forces you to look down at your cup. ‘it’s you’, you read in his gaze. You have no answer for that.

“What's your favorite food?” you suddenly wonder.

“Pudding.”

“But that’s dessert?”

“I really like the one you used to make me.”

“I cooked for you? and you liked it?” you giggle. “I’m not really good at it, usually.”

“I taught you some basic skills,” he smirks, raising his eyebrows proudly at you.

“Too bad your effort is now wasted.”

“It’s not a waste if it was done with love,” he pauses, licking his lips. “And I remember it.”

A bittersweet fog shrouds the air- he remembers that memory, but you don’t. Perhaps you will never bridge that gap, no matter how much you want to. The room in your heart may remain forever locked, the gateway to that chamber brimming with your stolen memories. Maybe you're condemned to merely stand before the closed door, straining to hear the echoes of the love that resonates behind, forever just out of reach.

You don’t fall asleep again that night. And as Minho’s quiet snores fill the room, you rummage your mind in search of a pudding recipe, hoping to retrieve the memory he spoke of so tenderly, shaky hands holding his mug tightly. Silent tears trail down your cheeks and you try your best to stifle the sound of your cries.

You want to make pudding. You want to make him pudding so badly.

Day 7.

It’s been a week since you woke up anew. Seven days adrift in a vast sea where waves of your memories lap at the shores of your mind, unable to breach the walls guarding your recollections of the past year.

Minho took you to the hospital for your weekly check-up. He sat by your side as the doctor reassured you that your ribs were healing relatively well, but you still needed time to recover, time for your body to mend, time for your memories to return. You loathed the waiting, the wasted days slipping through your fingers. You wanted a now.

But you kept all these thoughts to yourself, thanking the doctor as he exited the room.

Minho rented a bicycle to drive you around since the thought of being in a car made your anxiety spike. He installed a little seat for you, in that bright, obnoxious orange color you love very dearly. The sight of it nearly brought tears to your eyes this morning.

Minho idly pedaled around, choosing a scenic route, one he knew by heart from the looks of it. You closed your eyes, savoring the last sun rays of the year. Autumn was fading, winter clawing its way into the seasons slowly. You weren’t sure you could handle both the cold and the grief.

Miho took time off work for your doctor's appointment, and you both spent the day around one another, side by side on the couch, a new book in your hands, and an anime playing on the TV for Minho.

You could see him casting occasional, nervous glances in your direction, as you flipped the pages of the book. You didn’t understand why at first.

But then you did.

You only brought it up at night, when it was past 2 a.m. and you knew that Minho wasn’t sleeping either, the screen of his phone illuminating his face. He left the inflatable mattress in the room, no longer waiting for a nightmare to occur. You weren’t complaining. You desperately needed company.

“Minho,” you call out gently.

“Mm?”

“How did we meet?”

You can hear Minho suck in a deep breath at your question, before placing his phone down, the only light source in the room fizzling out. It made talking easier that way, when only your voices were heard, carried around, as if emitting from two entities that weren’t you both.

“We met… near your old apartment block. I was going to the kimbap place near yours, you remember that one, right?”

You hum in response.

“And I saw you crying, crouching near an injured cat. Some car had run over her leg, and she couldn’t walk anymore. And you didn’t know what to do, so I helped you. You insisted on coming with me to the vet where I take my cats. So, we caught a cab. And you were so worried, you didn’t stop crying, so the cab driver thought I did something to you,” he chuckles faintly.

“Then, the vet put a cast on her leg and reassured us that she’d be okay. And I told him I’d take her home and bring her for check-ups. But you were so worried, you begged me to send you updates about the cat. So, you gave me your number. And we talked.”

“What happened to the cat?”

“I took her to a rescue store I trusted since I couldn’t take her in. and we still visited her from time to time. And then, she found a good family.”

“And what happened to us?” you inquire softly, hoping that if your voice was quiet enough then your question wouldn't hurt Minho as much.

“We kept in touch," he said. "And it was… easy to talk to you, I felt as if I had known you for my entire life. When you found out I had three cats, we Facetimed a lot so you’d see them, but then we just kept on calling, every day, for nearly two weeks. Being with you felt natural, you know? I didn’t overthink it. I never did."

“And then three weeks later you came over to see Soonie, Dori, and Doongie. We ended up watching three movies in a row, and you were so tired you slept on my couch.”

“That’s embarrassing,” you chuckle.

"Yes," he laughs and you reach over to swat his shoulder playfully. "But it was also cute, and endearing. Then you came over a lot, and we just cooked together. Well, I cooked and you watched.”

“Right, that sounds more like me," you instantly agree.

“We hung outside too, whenever one of us had free time. We had a lot of common hobbies and interests so we never ran out of things to talk about. We made time for each other too.”

“How did we start dating?”

“You made the first move.”

“I did?” you shoot up from your place, hissing when the abrupt movement causes a twinge of pain in your ribs.

“Take it easy,” he giggles, as he illuminates your face with his flashlight. “You did.”

“Did you put a spell on me? I swore I’d never make a first move again after I was rejected in third grade. That was my most sacred oath."

“Well… you were ranting about this book. The one you were reading today,” he adds, and your excitement fizzles out, as the pieces of the puzzle finally fall into place. “You were sad because you had no one to talk to about it. So, I bought the book and read it. I gave you my copy, complete with highlighted passages and notes. And when I did… you kissed me, without warning,” his voice is softer now, as he fiddles with the tip of his blushing ears. "You said it was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for you.”

“It was. It is,” you whisper, heart caught in your throat. “I saw the photograph of us both lodged between the pages of the book. Did we take it that day?”

“Yes, we weren’t dating, not yet. Because I told you I wanted to take you out on a proper date. But you wanted us to take a picture holding the book… So you’d remember.”

“So I'd remember,” you repeat, voice quivering. What good was it for in the end?

“I looked so happy in the photograph,” you whisper, tears welling up your eyes. “I looked so happy with you,” your voice breaks as you utter that last part. "Did I love you, Minho?"

"You did," he nods softly, blinking away his own tears.

“And did you love me?”

“I did. I still do, very much.”

“Thank you, for loving me. It sounds like I’ve lived a happy year with you.”

Minho's pain is akin to a polite guest; it lingers by the corner, speaking in whispers, hardly ever raising its voice. You'd never really notice it, unless you strain your ears, as you're doing now. Only then would you discern the tremors of his quiet sobs- broken, stifled, determined not to make themselves known, only escaping his lips when he thinks you've fallen asleep.

Day 8.

Whenever an overwhelming emotion ran freely along the corridors of your soul, you'd often find yourself curled in a fetal position, knees drawn to your chest, like a fragile leaf.

Your teacher once explained that it reminds us of safer times in the wombs of our mothers, when the cruelty of life hasn’t yet reached us.

It is the way you’re resting now, upon the cold, hardwood floor, dozens of books surrounding you. You decided to go through each book in Minho’s library, the need to satiate your curiosity overtaking you. You didn’t know what you were looking for, exactly. Other photographs, surely, in the hopes that one of them would spark up your memory, ignite the flame of remembrance.

What you didn’t expect was to find Minho talking to you through books. Within the pages, amid the words, scribbled in small, dainty handwriting, threads of his thoughts all relating to you. Quotes he thought you’d appreciate, highlighted segments that reminded him of you. And dedications, so many dedicated lines you felt like you could drown in them. It felt as if Minho was on a quest to find love within every line, only to inscribe your name beside it.

Putting down the last book, you were left with a huge void, akin to a black hole eating away at your heart. So, you laid on the floor, one arm underneath your head, knees held tightly to your chest- as if trying to create borders for your sadness, to stop it from spilling out of your body, drowning the house in even more sorrow. Those four walls have had enough, more than they could contain. And so did you.

You suddenly longed for the very beginning of your life, when time was but a tranquil stream, when you were unaware of the hurtful years it would carve into your existence. Back to when your spine was still curled around itself; for it was never meant to be straightened. Your spine was never strong enough to bear your pain.

You wanted to talk to someone, but you didn’t know who you could turn to. You didn’t know how to articulate these emotions into words, tangible enough for someone to understand them. And you couldn’t talk to Minho about it, not when he was hurting on his own.

Because he smiled down at his cats, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards. His laughter echoed around the room when he talked to his friends on the phone. And sometimes, he even hummed under his breath while making you breakfast. But this happiness never reached his eyes, behind his pupils the sadness seared itself into his veins, casting a gloomy shadow that followed him everywhere he went. It was a palpable ache, one that filled the very atmosphere with the metallic taste of grief. Making it almost impossible for you to breathe in. Even more so when you remember it was all your fault.

These are the thoughts that haunted you all day, as they have been doing for the past week. Minho must have noticed that you were feeling gloomier than usual, a silent storm raging by his side, since he put up a romcom for you. “It made you laugh a lot when you watched it months ago.”

“How do you remember all of these things about me?” you ponder, scratching the fragile skin near your nails, easily torn, just like you.

“Does it make you uncomfortable? Should I stop?” he asks quietly, deflecting your question.

“No,” you say the truth. “It'd be weird if you were an actual stranger, but… you knew me. And I knew you. and I still feel safe around you.”

He nods silently, but something in his gaze compels you to keep talking.

“I mean, I never felt uncomfortable around you these days, which surprised me too. I just… I suppose that even if my mind doesn’t remember, my heart does, in a way?”

“My heart will always remember you,” he whispers, gaze adrift in a faraway memory.

A gear shifts in your mind, a sudden light flooding your vision. You find yourself within a grand canopy bed, its pure white curtains swaying to the rhythm of a whimsical breeze, their delicate fabric brushing lightly against your cheek. It’s slightly cold from the wide-open windows, but then it’s warm, as a gentle hand finds its place on your thigh, kindling an ember deep within, setting your very soul ablaze.

The curtains sway with the wind, obscuring your view, but you can still discern the sound of your laughter, echoing like distant chimes. And a tenderness, so delicate it seemed almost otherworldly, trailing along your skin, as warmth caresses your cheek and gently traverses the curve of your collarbones, peppering it with the softest kisses. You can't quite behold it, but it is unmistakably there, an ineffable presence that threatens to burst your heart at the seams—a memory of your love for Minho.

It is a blurry sight, like peering into a worn-out photograph, its details softened by the sands of time. But you clutch to it- to your fading laughter and hushed conversation, and then your voice ringing clearly in your mind, the promise you made to Minho.

'My heart will always remember you'.

You startle back in a jolt; the light and warmth have extinguished. They are now dull, withered down, sitting next to you with their head hung low.

It takes you an inhumane effort to swallow down the lump in your throat.

Day 16.

This week has been particularly cold. Not temperature-wise, October has always harbored these same frigid temperatures and you've gotten used to them, to the relentless winds brushing against your skin. Only this time they pierced right through your soul instead.

You knew what had changed. You had felt the sadness, the frustration, the guilt- all blending into one sorrowful symphony, pulling at your heartstrings the way one does to a harp. Yet, amid these familiar emotions, a new feeling loomed large this past week- anxiety.

It arrived in sudden, icy bursts, cold beads of perspiration cascading down your spine, feet suddenly freezing no matter how fuzzy your socks were- the physical telltales, then came the emotional ones. The shadows of dread, for we fear the unseen more than that which we can touch. The growing panic gnawing at your heart, hinting that something profoundly disastrous lurked on the horizon.

Anxiety held you suspended in the air, bound by invisible ropes that compelled you to watch from above as the days drifted past you. You were a ghost haunting an empty shell, hollow and resonant with anxiety's clang, akin to an empty can's descent to the ground.

Your appetite had fled, leaving you alone to grapple with the chore of feeding yourself, mechanically ingesting food only to pacify Minho’s concerned gaze. The TV’s volume blared, since you desperately needed the voices of other people to invade your mind, to render your thoughts merciless, forcing them to put their sword-like tongues down.

And the exhaustion, not accounted to your broken ribs, for Minho had meticulously overseen their recovery. It was an emotional fatigue, a weariness that clung to your every breath, trapping them within your ribcage, far beyond their time, until they tethered on the brink of exploding in your lungs- a supernova of darkness devouring your essence. Only then did the breaths release their hold on you.

So, you patiently awaited the inevitable unraveling, because you knew this wasn’t an ordinary anxiety. Your soul whispered to you in a language your mind could no longer translate, throbbing with a message you couldn’t quite recollect, striving urgently to jog your memory of a monumental truth.

But you didn’t remember– you should have.

You should've known it was Minho’s birthday.

It is near midnight when you venture out of your room, the inflatable bed by your side unusually vacant. A dim glow draws you to the kitchen, and as you stand by its entrance, an intensified cold grips you. It chills the blood in your veins, transforming it into splintered shards that prick uncomfortably beneath your skin.

Minho is sitting by the table, a small, muted cake before him, a shoebox by his side. A solitary candle flickers in front of his face, casting elongating shadows on his chiseled features. The flame is about to fizzle out- you feel like your heart will closely follow suit.

"Minho..." you call out gently, careful not to startle him from the trance ensnaring him. He doesn't react to the sound of your voice.

"Minho, I…"

"Today was my birthday."

His tone is cold, like the darkening clouds before a stormy night. His words feel like lightning bolts piercing your core.

"It would be stupid to blow this candle out, wouldn't it? Because you and I both know my wish won't come true. Maybe it never will. And it's killing me, yn." His voice quivers as it utters your name, a slight shake taking over his lips. His cheeks are tear stained- glimmering reflections under the golden flame. You've never seen him this sad. You don't know how to comfort him in his sadness.

A rush of nausea overwhelms your being, a yearning to expel every emotion, methodically, until your heart transforms into a tranquil organ, solely pulsing life's crimson essence through your frame. Nothing more, nothing less.

"This shoe box is yours. You kept it under the bed, filled it with everything that reminded you of me. You told me..." he pauses, taking in a deep breath. "You told me that you wanted to remember everything about us, every single detail. But I... I don't care if you don't remember every date we went to. I just-" his forehead rests on his palm, as he squeezes his eyes shut. "I just want you to remember that you love me."

Hot tears are rolling across his cheeks, splattering across the table like a broken mosaic. He doesn't try to hide them or wipe them away. He's had enough.

"Minho, I’m-"

"I mean- that's not too much to ask for, right?" he finally lifts his head, locking his eyes with yours. A black abyss, a dark void. You are the one who sucked out all the light.

"You- you said you loved me. And I- I felt it, y/n, when you looked at me, when you touched me. I felt it, it wasn't- it wasn't just words, I-" he pauses, running a hand through his hair, tugging at his black locks furiously. "You loved me," his voice breaks. "Why- why can't you remember that you loved me?"

Your tongue bursts to flame in your mouth, its grey ashes choking you from within. What could you even say? How do you stop the bleeding of a heart when you carry knives for fingers?

Minho abruptly stands up, his chair scraping loudly across the floor. "We talked about marriage, a-about kids, you said- you said you'd choose me to be the father of your children, you said you wanted a big house w-with me and you-” he points at you, chest heaving, eyes rimmed red. “You said you wanted us to sit at the patio when we're eighty and you wanted us to hold hands still," he chuckles bitterly, his arms falling limp by his side incredulously. "And now you don't even remember me."

He grabs the box, rummaging through its contents furiously. "You see this?" he waves dried flowers before your eyes, their petals falling to the floor from the force of his agitation. "These are the flowers I got you for our first date. You dried them and put them here because you- you said you wanted to preserve it, to remember."

"And this, the cinema tickets from our first movie date. You were so tired you just slept on my shoulder all the time and then I- I carried you home and you kissed me." He's growing more frantic, rifling through the shoe box in a frenzy. You remain rooted by the kitchen's entrance, a sense of powerlessness holding you captive, an unbreakable vice around your being.

"This is the napkin from our favorite cat café, and look," he grabs your hand, clammy palm pressed to yours, pulling you toward the table." This is the receipt of the first time we went grocery shopping together and-" he waves it in the air, before slamming it onto the table. "And, you e-even kept this stupid rock I gave you right before I told you I love you for the first time, because you said it was the happiest day of your life, my god Yn how can you not remember?"

A broken, sob-laden chuckle escapes his lips, a sound so heart wrenchingly human, so painfully poignant that for an instant, it fills you with a bitter aversion to your own humanity- it was never meant to inflict this much pain upon someone else.

Your thoughts shatter as Minho tenderly cups your face, urging you to confront his turbulent gaze. He seeks something within your eyes, and you desperately hope he'd find it, whatever it may be, anything to stop the tremor in his hands as they anchor you in place.

"Why did you- why did you keep all of this if not to remember me.” He asks, unblinking, lip quivering. “Please, please, remember me, just- just try, okay?"

"I’m so sorry-"

"No. No. Don't- don't apologize like it's final like you could never love me again," his hands glide to your shoulders, shaking you slightly in place. "Don't you understand? I-I don't want an apology I want you to remember me."

"Minho..."

"Just look through this, it's our happiest memories y/n, okay?" he let goes of you, circling the table before shoving the box into your hands. He smiles- attempts to, it is an unnatural presence amidst his tears, so out of place it sends shivers down your spine. "Look at it, yn, please," he pleads as your hold on the box falters. "I can’t remember us alone. I’m crushing under the weight of everything we lived it’s exhausting me!"

His voice ascends pitch, the end of his words hanging into the air, searing themselves into the particles you breathe. His voice leaves a painful echo on his trail. You’re exhausting him.

You put the box down, taking three cautious step forwards.

And then you hug Minho.

He can't even hold you back, body trembling with the sobs rippling through him as soon as your chest presses to his. He sinks to the floor and you follow suit, arms enfolding his concaved shoulders tightly, his face buried in the crook of your neck. "Im sorry, I'm so sorry Minho. I- I wish I could remember."

You want the kitchen to collapse upon itself. There is too much grief in such a small room- it stains the walls like blood droplets, absorbs his cries like a saturated sponge.

You don’t think you could ever sit at this table again.

He finally clasps your back, drawing you even nearer to him. "Can- can you pretend, just today, please? For my birthday. Pretend you still love me."

"Of course. It's okay, I’m here, honey. I'm here."

"I love you. I love you so much," he whispers, lips pressed against your neck. "And it hurts to love you, so much." He brings your hand to his heart. "It hurts so much right here."

He doesn't let go of your hand, softly caressing your knuckles. His breath hitches as his thumb hovers over your ring finger. "I... I was going to propose, you know? I even bought the ring, stored it away for when the time is right. Do you think you would have remembered if you woke up wearing it?"

He knows your answer would've been yes. You know that too, in the matching cat mugs and the book annotations and the way Minho gently held your face, even in the depths of his despair. Everywhere you look, your answer echoes back- yes, the home chants in unison, that's what you would've said. Yes, yes, yes.

Day 17.

In the cracks of concrete sidewalks, tenacious flowers manage to sprout. Just how in the depths of Minho’s pain, small joys bloomed, nestled in the vacant spaces between you and him.

You'd greet him each time he opened the door, your voice resonating through the apartment like the sweetest sonnet. And he would always pause by the doorknob, basking in the sound of your voice that hadn’t changed in the slightest. Your tone still held that same dulcet timber, a golden honey that once dripped freely upon his soul.

But today, Minho swung open the door and an eerie hush greeted him instead. He ventured in, calling after you, only to be met with utter silence. He anxiously checked the rooms, opening the doors hastily one by one. But you weren't there. You weren't home.

Minho felt the familiar tendrils of worry coiling around his heart, constricting it with each passing moment. He quickly grabbed his phone, dialing your number, only to fall into your voicemail, the robotic voice chilling him to the core.

In the past two weeks, you had made sure to text Minho each time you went outside- a precaution you took due to your fractured ribs which came with frequent fits of dizziness. It was a safety measure for one person, at least, to know where you are.

But you didn't text him today. And he had no idea where you might’ve gone to.

Minho tried to suck in a deep breath, willing the fear to relinquish its icy grip on his body so he could think properly. Maybe you had simply forgotten, he reasoned. Yet, he knew that you never back out on your promises. They were sacred for you since they were once senselessly broken.

For the second time in a mere three weeks, Minho’s deepest fears unfurl like a nightmare before him, ensnaring him in a tapestry woven with the bloody threads of everything that went wrong yesterday.

He carried his shame akin to heavy bricks on his shoulders, causing them to hunch forward- a coward, leaving the house before you even rose, and on his trail, your breakfast and a hastily written note. He couldn’t fathom eating at that kitchen table with you, not when his sobs still echoed around those sage walls, as did your quiet voice as you tried to soothe his cries, holding him between your tender arms.

Minho was scared. He was terrified you’d never come back home after everything that had happened, the words he said and the way he pleaded, nearly at your feet, consumed by a sadness grander than anything he’s ever known.

So, he storms out of the apartment in a hurry, scouring the nearby playground. But you aren’t there. The grocery store is next, the library, the flower shop, the cat café tucked in a corner that you may have stumbled on.

You were still nowhere to be found.

A dreadful sense of foreboding overcame him, akin to how he felt when his phone rang two weeks prior- the unfamiliar number of the hospital shining before his eyes. What if something happened to you, a fit of dizziness but no one was around to help? Life doesn’t grant you a second chance. No one has ever brushed against death’s shoulder twice and lived to tell the tale. What if he receives another call?

He couldn’t survive another call.

Minho stands in the midst of the road, clutching his head with a tight grip, desperately searching his memory for the places that once brought you solace during the months he spent knowing you. However, he quickly remembers that you no longer know of those places.

So where could you have gone?

An epiphany dawns upon Minho- the bridge you had pointed out to him from a distance on one of your walks, the first place you claimed as your own in the city. It towered above the ocean, suspended several meters in the air. He couldn't accompany you there that day, bound by a paralyzing fear of heights.

He prays with all his might that he's right.

He dashes towards the bridge akin to a madman, the desperate rhythm of his pounding feet mirroring the urgency in his heart. It looms tantalizingly close, a mere 15 minutes away, and Minho, in a state of disarray, knows he's not fit to drive right now. He was never fond of running, he didn't enjoy the searing ache in his lungs, robbing him of his ability to breathe. But he welcomes the pain today- it means that he's running fast enough to reach you. He hopes, he prays.

Minho spots you from a distance, a mere silhouette standing at the bridge's edge, your figure unmistakable with the red scarf tightly wound around your neck. Relief nearly brings him to his knees - you're alive.

Minho doesn't think as he sprints to you, eyes solely focused on you and not the void beneath his feet.

"Yn!" he calls out from afar, and you startle, snapping your head back to look at him. He wonders what he must look at you, disheveled hair, the wind knocking down his jean jacket. But he doesn't care.

Minho stands before you without pause, instantly pulling you into the shelter of his chest, his hand cradling the back of your head. He buries his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling the familiar smell of your shampoo, a constant through the months of knowing you. He clings to it, to the familiarity of your scent and the way your heartbeat seems to pour from your body to his, speaking in a language only your souls can comprehend. His arms clutch at you tightly, rugged breaths escaping his body, dew tears gathering in his eyes and dropping down your shoulders.

Your arms hang limp by your side, confusion etched across your face at the urgency, the frenzy in which he pulled you to his chest, an emotion you hadn’t known in him in these past weeks.

You tentatively raise your hands, patting his back slowly. "Minho, what’s wrong?" you whisper, and he shakes his head.

"You weren't home. I- I thought something happened to you."

"No, I just went on a walk and lost track of time," you reassure him and he pulls away, warm hands cradling your cheeks.

"You're okay, right? Tell me you're okay," he pleads and you smile, nodding your head. “I'm okay, don’t worry.”

Minho drops your face, embarrassment flooding his being at his outburst. It morphs to panic as he realizes the expanse beneath—nothing but the vast ocean, the wind slamming into his body, making him lose his footing.

"Are... you okay?" you ask cautiously. "Minho, you're shaking," you point out, a frown tugging at your lips. "Are you cold?"

He stays silent, unable to place a word beyond the stutter of his lips.

"Here," you hurriedly unwrap your red scarf, enclosing it around his neck. "You're shivering, Minho," you grab his hands, rubbing his fingers, blowing warmth into them, an attempt to kindle fire into him.

"I'm not- not cold. I- I’m scared of heights," he admits through a stutter, eyes tightly closed.

"Then why are you here?" You ask, surprised.

"Because you are."

His confession comes out quietly, softened by the blow of his fear. His eyes remain closed, missing the tears gathering in your eyes, the ones you swiftly try to blink away.

"Let's go, just keep your eyes closed. Hold my hand," you entwine your fingers with his, squeezing it lightly to signal you're there, as you walk across the bridge.

You don't let go until you finally regain solid ground.

"You're safe. you can open your eyes," you say quietly.

"You're okay, right?" he inquires again, stepping closer.

"Why are you asking me this when you're the one shaking?" you chuckle, almost exasperated, nothing funny in the sound.

"I was worried about you, and I thought you left… after yesterday."

"Why would you- My god Minho why would you even come running across this bridge? Why would you do something like that when you're afraid?"

"Because I love you," his voice is resolute, soft as a whisper, as he states a simple truth. It only makes yours reach new heights.

"But why- why do you love me? Why would you still love me after everything I put you through?"

"You didn't put me through anything," he shakes his head, and you take a step back, facing away from him. He can see your body heaving up and down, the weight of unspoken words making your heartbeat race. And then you snap.

"You broke down yesterday," you pivot back, pointing at his chest. "You broke down in my arms because of me. Why would you still love me after all this Minho I don't- I don't understand."

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I know I probably made you uncomfortable and I shouldn't have asked something like that out of you-"

"No, no, Minho, you don't understand, you shouldn't apologize, I should. I’m the one who hurt you-"

"You didn't hurt me. It's something out of your control, you didn't choose this."

“Stop- just stop being so nice and understanding for a minute. I don’t deserve it!" you shout exasperated, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. "You can't look me in the eyes half of the time you can't even fucking breathe in your own home. It's now a- a cemetery for our memories and it'll soon become yours too because I suck the life out of you, can't you see that?"

"I'm not asking you to remember me,” he holds his hands up, in surrender, “I was wrong yesterday, you don't have to remember us."

"There is no us!” you yell, hands thrown in the air, “Not anymore, Minho, maybe never."

You suck in a deep breath, shutting your eyes, willing your voice to ebb and flow into calmness.

"I thought about it. It'll hurt less if you don't see me, time will pass and you'll get used to it, I'm not worth this."

"You are,” he interjects. “You don't get to pick for me, Yn."

"Stop- stop talking like this is normal, stop being so complacent with your pain, Minho you shouldn't love someone who hurts you!"

"Then make me stop loving you. Spare me. Tear open my heart and bleed it dry at your feet or else it won't stop beating for you. Don't you understand? If you are near or if you are far, I will still love you. The only difference is that I'd worry more about you. I'd worry if you're eating, I'd worry if you're taking your medicine, I'd worry if you're drinking out of your favorite cup or if you have a spare shampoo in your drawer because you hate running out of it. I'd worry out of my fucking mind, Yn don't leave."

It had been an encompassing sadness that made his true feelings surge yesterday, breaching the myriad of cracks in his heart. But today, it was fear that cast a revealing light upon his feelings, hidden in the recesses of his being. They surged forth in a transparency you were still not used to, the way the ocean throws on its shores the debris of sunken ships, allowing the grieving families of sailors to finally discover the terrible truth.

Still, his honesty, his soul bare at your mercy isn’t enough to make you stay.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just... I can't- I'm sorry."

You take three steps back, before turning your back to him and walking away. A numbness, like icy talons, seizes his limbs, his gaze fixated on your diminishing figure—carrying away everything he's ever loved. Paralysis envelopes his very essence, a haunting realization that the distance between you is more than a mere physical space. You're vanishing beyond the horizon of his reach, slipping through his desperate grasp. The fear of never seeing you again fractures the stillness, snapping Minho out of his trance.

"To love someone is firstly to confess, I'm prepared to be devastated by you." He shouts, making you pause in your tracks. "Isn't that your favorite quote, Yn? You told me this is what love is about. To place your heart in the palm of the person you love. And your hands are soft, Yn. I don't mind if I'm bruised by them."

"I lied then!” You yell back, tears cascading down your cheeks akin to a waterfall, “Belcourt lied and I lied when I told you this and when I promised that I'd always remember you in that canopy bed-"

"What did you just say?” Minho quickly walks to you, chest heaving. “What canopy bed?"

“It doesn't matter now,” you speak in a small voice, avoiding his eyes, seeking refuge in the ground beneath. Yet, Minho, gentle and determined, cups your face, guiding your gaze to meet his.

“It matters to me, Yn, please. What do you mean?"

“We were in that white canopy bed, when I told you that my heart would always remember you.”

“We were,” he whispers, eyes glazed over as the memory washes over him too. “Did you remember?”

“Not clearly, it was really hazy in my mind. But I remember that the windows were open, I was supposed to feel cold but… your hands on me, and they were warm. And I…” you suck in a deep breath and Minho smiles encouragingly, running his thumb in a tender caress across your cheek.

“I remember feeling that I loved you,” you finally confess. “Even though I couldn’t see you. That's why I said that I'd always remember you. Because you filled every chamber in my heart, so much that it'd still hold your name even if you left it…that's how I felt.” You pause, as Minho forcibly swallows the lump down his throat.

“But it didn't unlock any new memories and I-”

“It's okay, it’s okay. You still remembered,” he smiles and the gesture brings you to his lips, rosy, plump. Were they still as warm? Still as soft?

“I did…” you trail off. “You also kissed me, in my memory. Your lips were everywhere and… they were soft.” You add quietly, eyes fixated on his mouth, the smile that once adorned it slipping away.

A tentative warmth courses through your being, a subtle blaze that ignites your cheeks in a shade of crimson. In this moment, a need unfurls within you, a yearning that eclipses the delicate boundaries of restraint. The memory of his lips on your skin becomes a beacon, standing tall amidst the tumultuous winds of uncertainty. You want to taste the warmth again. You want to kiss Minho.

“I kissed you.” His hands, once gentle on your cheeks, now slip down with purpose, cradling your jaw in a gesture that speaks of both reassurance and longing.

“You did.”

“And my lips were soft,” he repeats, his red scarf brushing against your throat.

"They were," you respond, breathless. His mouth stands electrifyingly close, a mere hairbreadth away, as you contemplate the simple act of tilting your head, closing the tantalizing gap. All that stands between you and the echoes of the love that was is the lift of your head, a movement that could breathe life into the dormant embers of your heart.

"Yn," Minho speaks softly, his words a gentle brush against the canvas of your shared vulnerability. His minty breath tickles your nose, as you hum, a wordless acknowledgment that hangs in the air. Your eyes remain closed, your heart beating loudly in your ears, drowning out the sound of the waves nearby.

“Use me. Use me to remember.”

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murdrdocs · 10 months

Note

Sigh I miss reading your stepcest 😔 Rafe and Sarah fighting for the attention of the newest addition to the Cameron household 😔😔 Both of them seeing red when their sweet innocent angelic stepsis starts pulling out dirty new tricks they didn’t teach her and she only could have learned from one other person 😔😔😔

god im pulling my hair out from the roots DARK CONTENT MDNI

both cameron siblings believing they're exclusive with their new stepsis. they pass off the infatuation from the other sibling as a typical cameron tryst, believing that the other was not nearly brave enough to act on their implications. cocky rafe thinks that darling little sarah is too much of a daddy's girl to commit the unspoken sin of fucking her new stepsis. and naive sarah chooses to think that rafe is too brazen and values ward's opinion too much to actually make a move on you.

it's not until many dinners and hangouts around the island together that they start to suspect their stepsister isn't only with them. sarah's hand brushing along your ass makes rafe rethink those squeals that sounded just like yours he heard from sarah's room late at night. rafe pulling you into his side makes sarah reconsider those times he's taken you shopping and you came back with a dazed look in your eyes.

their suspicions aren't ever verbally confirmed, but more so physically.

rafe comes to his conclusion when you have your lips around his cock, swirling your tongue and your hand in tandem all while making eye contact with him. it drives him crazy, seeing his previously innocent little stepsister on her knees like this, making him feel like that. and he's almost too lost in euphoria to ponder on where you've learned this from. just a few days ago, you'd seemed almost timid at the sight of rafe's length, shyly taking him in your hand and hesitantly bringing his tip to your lips. he urges you off of his cock, letting you take a breather before he cups your chin and stares you down. "have you been with anyone outside of this house?" and your answer is sincere, honest. a shake of your head and a curt "no". rafe almost grinds his teeth.

sarah comes to her conclusion when your fingers are deep within her. fingertips brushing along her walls, clearly searching for something, and just when sarah teasingly asks you what you're looking for, you find it. her words die off in a gasp, high and pretty and it makes your eyes widen. "there? it that the spot?" sarah's eyebrows furrow as she nods, her expression only intensifying whenever you dip down and press your tongue in around your fingers. she's seeing stars, a hand on your shoulder both to push you away and pull you closer. it's not until she cums that she starts to wonder where you'd learned it from, something she hadn't done to you nor have you done to her. you just shrug, wiping your mouth clean with the back of your hand and simply telling her, "someone did it to me before," before sauntering out of her bedroom and to the bathroom.

when sarah has her shorts pulled back up around her waist, she walks out of the bedroom to find you in the bathroom, bumping into rafe along the way. the stare they give each other is possibly the dirtiest thing of the entire ordeal, nothing but distaste and a hefty amount of rage behind similar gazes as rafe steps away from you and sarah steps towards.

meanwhile, you're none the wiser, humming to yourself as you fix your appearance.

#stepbro!rafe cameron #stepsis!sarah cameron #rafe cameron x reader #sarah cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #sarah cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #sarah cameron smut #celeste writes obx

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jeonqbunny · 11 months

Text

leavin' the door open

toji fushiguro x f!reader smut ♡

summary: your planned hook up session with toji fushiguro goes south when you leave your apartment door unlocked (he sneaks in & rails ya. :3)

content warning: dom!toji fushiguro x sub f!reader, spit play, degrading, creampie, somnophilia, oral f! receiving, pinning, rough sex, slapping, age gap (reader is in university), uses of petnames (baby, doll, slut, pretty girl) all that stuff man it's SMUT.

word count: 2.9k (not proof read </3)

MINORS DNI

you laid there lost in your own thoughts, the chilly fall air wafting through the half opened window as you laid sprawled out on the lustrous sheets of your bed. you felt your eyes get heavier, sleepiness ridden in your somber expression as you let out a quiet sigh. “toji’s running late, again.” you murmured to yourself out loud, stirring in the bed to lay on your side comfortably. it wasn’t uncommon for him to be unreliable, after all you weren’t his girlfriend. he was only coming over to partake in your casual hook up as he normally would.

toji fushiguro was a charming, and very attractive older man who you ran into at a bar a few months back. you were simply there to (not so much) enjoy the bitter taste of alcohol and smooth the edge a bit. you weren’t looking, but you sure as hell found something. as you sat at the bar, swirling the nose stinging liquid around in the shiny glass of the cup, a significantly larger man took a seat next to you at the bar. it was almost comical how large he looked sitting on a stool. sure, you took a couple glances at him, after all, how could you not? he was insanely alluring, and hard to look away from.

your glances didn’t go unnoticed by the older man who was seated next to you, a curious smirk tugging on the corners of his scarred lips. He let out a deep huff of air before turning to look at you, his veiny hand engulfing his glass of whiskey. his eyes were a shiny dark emerald green, easy to become enchanted by, almost like a snake.

they held a very nonchalant and unamused look inside of them, he let out a soft chuckle before speaking. “need summin’ pretty girl?” he queried with an amused grin on his face as he raised his cup to his mouth, taking a long swig of whiskey. strangely enough, his gaze never left yours. not even for a second as he slid his cup back onto the surface of the bar and asked for another. “ya ever learned any manners? don’t cha know it’s rude to stare?” his second question pulled you out of your daze, your head shaking softly to wake you up from your incessant daydreaming.

you swallow thickly, shaking your head no like your life depended on it. “no, no. Sorry. didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable you're jus' good lookin.” you replied in a mumble, your words barely audible before he leaned in and cupped his hand behind his ear as if to tell you he couldn’t hear you. your breath nearly caught in your throat from the sudden close proximity, starting to second guess your statement. the smell of cologne and whiskey mixed with the faint scent of cigarettes nearly enough to drown you.

you smiled timidly, leaning forward and repeating yourself a bit louder. “i’m all good, i don’t need anything.” you pulled away once again, taking a sip of the alcohol and slightly wincing when it stings the back of your throat. he scoffed playfully, rolling his finger around his head in circles, insinuating that you were crazy. his eyes rolled back over to his now refilled cup of whiskey, a sigh of relief leaving his throat.

he was older, not taking a whole lot of interest in going on dates or hooking up. he was convinced he was a bit too old to be landing some ass, but there you were, your form elegantly sitting on the stool, lookin' all dolled up and timid. your pretty eyes batting at him in a way that made his slacks tighten. such a pretty young thing, practically begging for him to take you home and destroy you.

“a’ight then.” he shrugged, his dress shirt stressing against his broad shoulders as he turned to face the bar fully once again. you didn’t know what it was about him that had you pressing your thighs together, already trying your best to hush the way you were pretty much purring. but you could assume it was his unbothered demeanor and lack of enthusiasm that sucked you in, that’s putting aside his undeniable good looks of course. something about cold older men had you in a chokehold, you weren't one to deny that.

you were lost in your own thoughts as you looked down to the liquid in your cup, your thoughts swimming with unholy thoughts about this man next to you. the appealing thought caused you to tug your lip in between your teeth. “so what are you doin’ here all by yourself?” the deep voice boomed next to you, causing you to jolt out of your trance before turning to find him already looking you up and down. “get stood up? yer lookin’ awfully dolled up to be sitting here by yourself.” he assumed in a low grumble, taking another sip of his whiskey.

the tension in the air was thick, making your lungs feel heavy as you blinked in astonishment. you took a moment to think, carefully formulating your words before you responded. “just wanted to grab a drink, uni is stressful.” you responded simply, your fingers tracing the edge of your cup as you leaned forward onto the edge of the bar. toji’s gaze drank you up, his adam’s apple bobbing as he nodded along silently.

after a while of talking and drinking with the older man, you found yourself in his bed the very same night. you didn’t even catch his name until you were walking funny and nearly out of his door. he asked you for your name and number, insinuating that he would surely be coming back for seconds.

this leads you to your current predicament, laying on your bed with an aching between your legs. you exchanged some freaky ass texts, ultimately coercing him into coming over to fill you up just how you liked. he was taking longer than usual, causing a sense of worry to wash over you. you tried not to think about it too much, eventually falling asleep, finally giving in to the weight of your eyelids as you felt slumber consume you. your form was limp on your bed, settled deep into the mattress as the room filled with the sound of your deep breaths.

meanwhile, toji was just on his way to come and do as he always did. fuck you stupid. he groaned in annoyance as he called you, the repetitive ringing somehow less annoying than the sound of your obnoxious voicemail. he knocked a few times on the door of your apartment, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion as to where you could have gone. he wiggled the door knob, finding that the door was unlocked.

this simply pissed him off even more, thinking about you being this idiotic and irresponsible in your ripe age. his pants were painfully tight as he let out a groan, freshly off work and beyond sexually frustrated “stupid broad leaving her door unlocked– the fuck..” he grumbled, debating on whether or not to enter your apartment or just take the L and leave.

he ultimately decided on entering, his cock throbbing in his pants really clouding his judgment. his large frame entered the nearly pitch black apartment before clicking the door closed behind him and locking it. he tried to navigate his way to your room, tripping over random bits and bobs on your floor and nearly eating shit. "the fuck was that? damn near took my ass out." he grumbled, stabling himself with the wall as he continued to your bedroom.

he finally made it, the door slightly cracked allowing him to look at your moonlit sleeping form. this only made his erection twitch in his pants all the more, a wet spot appearing on his slacks as he pushed the door open. "this girl man, she gon' make me do some desperate ass shit."

his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of you, so innocent and unknowing as your hair sprawled out underneath your head. he made his way towards you and sat on the edge of the bed, the frame creaking and the mattress sinking in from his weight. he traced your bare thigh with the back of his index finger, whispering your name in a desperate attempt to wake you up. "wake up doll, you got me worked up with those messages of yer's." his voice was hoarse and airy, gripping your plush thigh in his thick long fingers while shaking it gently.

all to no avail however, you remained asleep and uninterrupted in your slumber. he hissed, sucking air in through his teeth as his cock strained against the fabric of his slacks. he continued gripping your thigh, only tightening more as his other hand palmed himself through his pants. he let out a low groan, his throat dry and raspy as he looked down at you.

“stupid little girl, leavin’ her door unlocked and teasing me..” he sputtered under his breath, his chest starting to heave the more he palmed at his needy cock. his hand trailed up your thigh, reaching into the inner part of your thighs and spreading them, his eyes taking in the view of the wet patch on your panties. the sight alone made him feel like he could bust in his pants, a low growl slipping from in between his gritted teeth.

he wasted no more time, slipping your panties to the side and sliding his thick index fingers in between your folds and up to your clit, spreading your wetness around it. "so fuckin' wet.. guess ya fuck around and find out." he circled around it delicately, watching your body start to tremble in your sleep as your cunt soaked his finger. his raven locks stuck to his forehead as he started to sweat, his erection growing nearly insufferable.

he settled himself onto his stomach as his head fell in between your legs, grinding his cock into the mattress under him as his tongue lapped at your clit. “jus’ a taste.. need you so bad.” he uttered into your clit, his finger reaching forward to push into your sopping wet pussy, your walls gripping it like you needed nothing more than to be filled up by him. he let out a satisfied groan into your clit, his voice sending vibrations through your mound, he pumped his finger in and out as he curled upwards to immediately find your sweet spot.

he sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth, licking and sucking at your clit like a starved man as his fingers sped up. his free muscular arm reached up to wrap around your thigh, his rough fingers digging into the flesh. he felt the familiar feeling of your cunt fluttering around his fingers, watching you slightly stir in your sleep and whimpering.

“good fuckin’ girl.. that’s it, taking my finger so well baby.” he cooed, adding another finger and stretching you out some more. The sounds of his mouth smacking against your clit mixed with the wet squelching of your pussy making his head feel spinny. the smell of you drove him wild, your juices soaking his chin and dripping onto his hand. “fuck.. jus’ like that.. you’re close aren’t you?” he moaned, watching your climax crash over your sleeping form, your legs closed around his head just how he liked.

he lapped at your clit a few times, gulping down your clear and sticky cum before sitting up to look at you. your eyes fluttered open, your mouth agape as you felt your insides throbbing from the aftershock of your orgasm. you couldn’t help but let out a small whine as your sleepy gaze focused on the blurry image of your cum dripping down his chin and clinging to his fingers.

“t-toji? what are you doing here?” you interrogated, still disoriented from the deep sleep your orgasm pulled you out of. toji grips your thighs, yanking your body down towards him. his body caged your smaller body in under him, a shit eating grin on his face with a tilt of his head. “stupid little slut forgot to lock her door ‘fore she fell asleep.” he snickered, unbuckling his belt as he watched you come back to reality with a smirk gracing on his scarred lips.

he let out a relieved sigh as his pants dragged down his thighs, his cock springing free and smacking his lower abdomen. your mouth watered at the sight, your pussy throbbing all over again while you squirmed. toji gripped your wrists tightly, enough to leave bruises as he pinned you down. “don’t fuckin’ move, hold still for me.” he barked, his voice heavy with demand and arousal as he kept you pinned with ease. “'nd you know the drill pretty girl, eyes on me.” he added, a smug grin resting on his lips as he gripped the base of his cock tightly and stroked it from base to tip a couple times, causing him to shiver from the contact on his neglected dick.

a vein ran up the underside of his cock from the base to the tip, his lip tugging in between his teeth. broken, muffled moans caught into his throat, his eyes fluttering from the way his big veiny hand gripped his own length. he spread the precum leaking from his aching tip down his length, using it as lubricant. the sound becoming more lewd, squelching noises seemingly louder whenever his hand slipped over the tip. after a minute of enjoying himself, he leaned down and pressed the tip to your needy entrance. he pushed the tip in, eliciting a shriek from you as you slammed your eyes shut. he hastily gripped your jaw, pulling it towards his face before laying a sharp smack to your cheek before he pushed in his cock, forcing it all the way in.

“i said, eyes on me, slut.” he husked, his abs constricting as he felt himself bottom out inside of your tight cunt. he pulled almost all the way out, slamming back in and banging against your cervix. you felt like the wind was knocked out of you, jaw falling slack. "hurts toji.. s' sensitive." you mewled, your eyes looking into his needily. you were already sensitive from your last orgasm, the feeling of his cock sliding against your walls mixed with the aching of your cervix enough to draw tears from your eyes thanks to overstimulation.

he only laughed tauntingly, pounding at your insides even harder as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “already cryin’ for my cock huh? how fuckin’ pathetic.” he growled, his hips moving relentlessly now as he basked in the way your insides hugged him so perfectly.

he dipped down to lick the salty tears off your cheek sloppily, a trail of his saliva on your cheeks to replace the tears, his hot breath fanning against it. the bottom of his navel slapped into your clit with each thrust, your eyes fighting to stay open as he ravaged you for what you were worth. “t-toji please.. ohhh oh my goddd-” your eyes struggled to stay on him, but you managed. toji snickered, his breathing labored as he continued to bully his cock into your tight cunt. “fuuuck.. i’d say i was proud of you for lookin’ at me so nicely..” he paused his speech, his grunts becoming more frequent as his pace picked up.

“but yer in so much fuckin’ trouble, little girl. making me wait to shove my cock into you all ‘cause you were tired?” he tugged at your jaw, forcing your mouth open before spitting into it with no hesitation. you gulped down his spit, your tears streaming down your face in slight humiliation. toji reached down with his hand that was once pinning you to rub quick coordinated circles to your clit as he felt you clench him impossibly tighter.

“so dirty, so nngghh ha- so dirty. you like being spat on don’t cha?” he mocked harshly, his teeth gritting at how (almost) painfully tight you were wrapping around him. “fuckin' shameful, perfect little pussy grippin' me so tight." he huffed out through moans and gritted teeth. "tell me how much of a dirty little slut you are for me.” he demanded harshly, leaving a soft smack to your cheek as he felt your gummy walls flutter around him.

you immediately gasped, his words nearly enough to throw you over the edge. “y-yes.. i’m a dirty little slut for you.. feels s’ good.. so so good…” you cried out, your words sounding more like babbles, but it sufficed for toji’s standards. he couldn’t help but chuckle at your words, loving how fucked out you were underneath him with his cock bullying into your tight hole.

“a’ight pretty girl, you can go on and cum for me baby.” he permissed, feeling his cum filled balls tighten up the closer he got. "yer lucky i'm even lettin' you for making me wait." he lectured quietly as he screwed his eyes shut to focus on how you cum around his thick cock. with his permission, you finally came undone around him. your slick tight walls pulsing around him and milking his cock for every last drop. you let out a loud shriek, your hands gripping the bed sheets below as your mouth hung open to let pretty little moans of toji’s name fall from your lips.

your cum formed a ring around the base of his cock, dripping down his heavy balls. he let out a grunt of approval, his hand now caressing your cheek in his hand as he approached his high. "atta girl doll, y' feel so fuckin' good cumming on my cock like this."

it wasn’t long before toji followed in your footsteps, his thrusts becoming a lot more sloppy and feverish as he chased his high. "gonna cum, slut. take every last drop, fuckin' cum hungry whore." he took one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt inside of your cunt with the tip of his cock pressed firmly to your cervix as he let out his load. he let out a shaky groan, his tanned skin glistening with sweat above you. his body trembled as he held himself there, small thrusts pumping into your cunt as he rides out his high.

he leaned on his elbow above you, peppering delicate kisses to the skin of your neck and jawline as he regained his breath. “such a good girl, ‘m sorry i came in here and did that. but if you play stupid games, ya get stupid prizes.” he muttered against the skin of your jaw, pulling his cock out of your warmth. a disappointed groan slipped from his lips from the loss of your warmth around him.

��it’s okay toji, i don’t mind.” you reassured him, your body still laying limp as you regained your breath from the intense fuck you just had with the older, larger man. a small smile played on your lips, your eyes fluttering at him in admiration. "course ya don't, you got fucked too good to care." he prodded, letting out an exhale before laying at your side and chuckling

“y'know, it was still real fucken dumb to leave your door unlocked. it's irresponsible.” he warned, a hint of playfulness in his voice as he saw his cum start to seep out of your abused cunt. with no hesitation, he swiped it up on his fingers and pushed it back in.

“now c’mere sweet thing.” he requested, swiping you up in his arms with ease and nestling into your neck. he left a few gentle and affectionate kisses to the sensitive skin, inhaling your sweet scent before he let out a content sigh. "i’ll let ya get your rest properly now.”

#toji x reader #toji smut #toji fushiguro #toji #jjk #jjk x reader #x reader #smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru #geto suguru #jjk toji #toji zenin #anime x reader #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jjk suguru

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that-student-that-has-homework · 7 months

Text

Matching - Portgas D. Ace

Find more of my work here: Tumblr MasterList

This is a little idea I had for a larger Ace fanfic I'm working on. I might revise this! Please let me know if he's in character or not...I'm starting to have my doubts.

It had been the better part of a week. No, maybe a whole week at this point. While before you’d spend most of your free time around him, now you were constantly “busy.” Heck sometimes he even finds it difficult to find you on the Moby Dick! Was this the end of the honeymoon phase everyone warned him about?

Were you starting to get tired of him?

You kept sneaking around...without him! Before you used to sneak around together! Worse still is…every time he pops up to see you, you always seem like you're hiding something. It's like quickly stashed papers, and tightly clenched fists. It’s the way you spin on your heel, and tense up, when you used to not do that at all.

What was maddening was how when the evenings would hit, or even at random parts of the day, you’d run and crash into him with a huge hug. You’d beam at him bright and genuine just upon seeing him, heck you’d be practically vibrating with joy as you’d squeeze the life out of him. He’d almost turned to fire once.

Maybe you weren’t tired of him?

When you did cuddle with him, your eyes seemed to linger on the tattoo on his arm. He’d even woken up to you tracing it with your finger once before. You’d looked sheepish that he’d caught you admiring it…actually you looked a little…panicked too…

You’d squirmed in his grasp when he asked you about it. Saying things like how it’s pretty, and how it’s a tattoo unique to him, so you were admiring it. You're pretty good at dodging his line of questioning whenever he voices his suspicions about your behavior. You were also incredibly sneaky about distracting him with your affections, and by the time he’s regained his original line of thought, you’d already be gone.

There's something fishy in the air and it's not the sea king he caught the other day.

He only finds out what it is you'd been scheming behind his back when he gets back from a mission. He was so distracted for most of it. He couldn’t figure out why you were so clearly avoiding him sometimes…were you having second thoughts? What was going on? Was this an elaborate prank?

He was still in a daze as he made his way back to the Moby Dick. You used to bring peace, yet right now you’d thrown him into turmoil. He hated the way he was doubting you. He hated not knowing what was wrong.

“Hey look Ace’s back!”

“How’d it go champ?”

“Aaaaaaacee!” It was your voice that pulled him back completely.

He’d barely had a moment to look up than you’d thrown yourself on him with a hug. The force of it all almost send him toppling backwards. His hat had been knocked off his head, and he could feel the press of its medallion on his throat. He's relieved at how genuinely happy you are to see him, yet still an unease twists up his stomach in knots.

You pull away much too quickly, pulling his arms and rotating them, checking for any damage. The way you're checking up on him to make sure he's not hurt and that he's okay floods his entire system with warmth. Yet he can't help the constriction in his chest and the nagging as to what it was that had you sneaking around before he left if you missed him this badly?

He can hear the crew laughing at the obvious display of affection.

“Being bold there little missy,” they taunt you.

You shrink in on yourself a bit, embarrassment catching up to you. However when you take his hand in yours, and whistles and cheers break out, “I was doing it for Ace,” the timidity in the lines of your shoulders and face brings the heat to his own face, “I thought he might like it.”

He squeezes your hand in his. Yet his brain screams at him, then what was all that sneaking around about?

Unsure how to deal with things, he just studies you closely as you ask him about how things went and how the mission was. You're not up to anything really, or at least it doesn't seem like it. You're as attentive and engaged as ever, things are just as they used to be before.

You drag him to the kitchen, knowing he must be hungry as he usually is after a mission. You even sit with him in your little corner of the mess hall while he eats, something you hadn’t done much prior to his departure. He's talking to you about the guy with the interesting abilities that he'd fought with his mouth full, and you're indulging him.

Yet even as he tries to fall into your old pattern, the confusion only festers further. What had been going on with you?

He feels absolutely awful, doubting you with the way you’re listening to him like he's the most interesting guy in the world. To be fair, to you, he really is. He keeps talking and chewing and answering your questions, yet the thing he really wants to talk about is bubbling just below the surface. Somehow all the tension and excitement peaks and he goes head first into his plate of food.

When he finally comes back to, there’s no food on his face, and he’s resting on his arms on the dinner table, his plate off to his side. You’re still next to him, gently brushing your fingers through his hair, patiently de-tangling any clumps you come across. He groans while sitting up and blinking the sleep away.

“You’re up,” you observe aloud, “here let me clear these out of the way for you.”

You get up from beside him, unthinkingly pulling your sleeves up your forearms, and reach for the plates around him. He notices something odd about one of your hands as you walk away with the stack of plates in your hands, but before he can say much you're already on your way to the kitchen counter. He watches you, lethargically shoving food in his mouth as you hand the dishes over to Thatch, who looks at your hands, then looks his way for a moment with an amused grin.

He could actually hear the next thing as the cook raised his voice, “nah leave those dishes to me, go hang out with your loverboy.”

Had the pirate not shoved you away with a plate of food in hand, Ace got the feeling you would have pointedly ignored Thatch’s teasing to do the dishes. You walked back, your brow and lips pursed in a kind of indignation. He couldn’t help the little huff of amusement. You’d gotten much better at handling their teasing over time, but he wouldn’t deny it was cute how it would get to you sometimes.

You took a seat beside him again, sliding the plate the cook had given you towards him. Your…well he could only hope he was still really your beloved, just stared at you in silence as he chewed. For some reason it made you squirm.

That’s it. He’d had enough. He has to figure this out. You’d said it yourself, it’s really important to communicate things! That’s how relationships last!

“You’ve been real weird lately,” was what came out as he grabbed the new plate of food, “you been avoiding me?”

His brow furrowed at the way your gaze immediately fell, taking your expression with it, and how you began to fidget with your fingers - a nervous - wait. Ace’s hand extended to grab your left one, bringing it up to his face.

There on your left wrist, right where your pulse sat, in black ink sat the letters ASCE, arranged horizontally and smaller, but a perfect replica of his own otherwise. Instinctively he rubbed his thumb across it, almost as though he was checking to make sure this wasn’t an illusion and that wasn’t just normal ink from a pen.

You were looking back at him, he could see it in the way your shoulders bunched near your ears, and the wobble of your lips, and how you couldn’t keep eye contact for too long, but kept glancing back at him…you were nervous. He absentmindedly began drawing circles on your wrist, just staring at you.

“I was avoiding you, I guess,” you admitted, “I was hoping to surprise you with that,” your free hand moved to play with the hem of your shirt, as you shrunk even more, “was it presumptuous of me? Should I have asked first?”

“For a second I thought I’d managed to chase you away,” he admitted quietly, looking back down at the mark of permanence you’d etched into your skin, “that you’d gotten sick of me.”

You snatched your hand away before he could think, moving in to embrace him, “get sick, of you? Then I’d be a tasteless heathen or…whatever, unworthy of you- totally - completely - absolutely unworthy of you!”

Your arms tighten around him, “I’m so sorry I put you through that love.”

“All that sneaking around was for this tattoo?” He couldn’t help the involuntary little crack in his voice. “You really did surprise me darlin’.”

He pulls away from you first and his hands find your wrists, and his eyes again fall onto the symbol, the symbol of him, lovingly tattooed into your skin. A mark to let people know just who put the ring on your finger.

He didn’t look up from it, even when you spoke up again, “Ace,” he just traced circles over the mark that sat proudly in bold black letters, “I’m really sorry that I made you feel that way - wait does that sound? It’s not-no wait. It’s my fault!” He glanced up at you for a moment as you struggled to put what you wanted to say into words, working strenuously to apologize sincerely.

His lips wobbled upwards.

He couldn’t help it.

You’d gone out of your way, to tattoo his mark onto your body. He couldn’t help but stare at it as he continued to rub circles with his thumb. Not only that, you were straining yourself so much all because he voiced that damned insecurity of his.

“I didn’t mean to put you through that?” You tried again. “I wanted it to be a surprise, but I didn’t want to hurt you.” You paused, and he felt you move closer. “I’m sorry if what I did hurt you-no-I’m sorry that I did hurt you.”

There was a pricking at the corners of eyes, as he finally took his eyes off your little gift to him to look at you. There was a kind of relief, or maybe it was appreciation? Maybe even a tinge of surprise? He was touched, that was one thing he knew for sure-if the fire that burned in his chest was any indication. He was a sick bastard for appreciating this, wasn’t he? Seeing you so genuinely apologetic - it was alarming really, did he really deserve this apology when he was doubting you? How could he ever hope to compete with this?

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, doll,” his voice was uncharacteristically quiet as he continued to rub circles into your wrists.

“No I do,” you insisted, “Ace, I’m happy you’re communicating how you felt to me,” you responded quietly, but firmly, “so don’t downplay how it felt when I was the one being sneaky.”

“You didn’t mean any harm though,” his lips pull into a gentle smile as he slowly brings your tattooed pulse up to brush his lips against it before flicking his gaze to meet yours, “you were here prepping this lovely gift for me and I was only thinking of myself.”

A smirk tugs at his lips at the way you have to shake yourself out of whatever spell he’d placed you under, “just because I didn’t mean any harm, doesn’t mean I didn’t do any harm,” you press on, shuddering a bit when he brushes another kiss to your pulse, “if you did the same, I’d probably have felt the same way too, you have nothing to feel bad about.”

“Forgive me for doubting you, cariña?”

He almost laughs at the affronted look you give him, firing back a, “forgive me for hurting you, love?”

“Nothing to forgive,” he’s smiling more now, “I’m glad you were being so sneaky, made this surprise all the better.”

“Don’t downplay your feelings Portgas D. Ace,” he could hear your frown, “your feelings are important to me, you’re important to me.”

“My full name cariña?” He couldn’t help but tease.

“Yes,” you answered immediately and he looked up to see how upset you looked - it was almost annoying - he’d rather not dwell, “I want you to get just how upset you were off your chest.”

That got a chuckle out of him, despite the irritation that was rising.

“I don’t want to think about it too much,” his smile fell for a moment, “I don’t want to ruin this happy moment with stupid emotions in the past.”

“But I don’t want them to fester-”

“Mi amor,” he looked at you, almost pleading, “it’s true I felt like you were ignoring me, but seeing your little surprise makes me the happiest man on the five seas.”

Seems that was enough to quiet you. Though… “six, if you include the All Blue.”

When you chuckled at him, he felt his smile returning. He honestly couldn’t care less about the past. He’d said his piece, you’d talked it out, he didn’t care anymore.

“So, you know I love you right?” The timid way in which you asked was enough to knock the wind out of him.

Yet, he grinned, and brought your marked pulse up to lips again, “I love you too.”

“Oi get a room!” The two of you startled at the sudden shout coming from the other end of the mess hall. “Sure we can barely see you in your little corner, but the lovey-dovey energy in here is off the charts!”

“Shut up Thatch!” Ace fired back. “You’re just mad you can’t gossip to Marco about it!”

“You’re the one blocking the show!”

“Good!”

“It’s real funny though,” there was a pause, “who’d have thought the wild Fire Fist was actually a huge pile of mush!”

With the newfound yelling, people started to file into the mess hall. Which was when he noticed it was mostly empty prior to that. Of course among the people who filed in was the aforementioned first division commander.

“You like your little surprise Ace?” He asked the younger man.

“Wait you knew?”

“Who else would she ask yoi?” The medic gave him a lazy grin before turning to you. “So, did you get to say what you wanted to say yoi?”

Ace studied you as you shook your head looking both disappointed and sheepish.

“What did you want to say?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You huffed, a sheepish smile wobbling your lips, as you moved to his left side, your right hand pushing his upper arm to show more of his tattoo.

"See,” you held up your own tattooed wrist next to his arm, “now we match."

Extra:

Ace later: “I’m gonna marry her.”

Marco (who is next to him): “aren’t you already married?”

#portgas d ace x reader #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #one piece x reader #one piece x you #portgas d ace x you #portgas d ace fluff #portgas d ace #portgas d ace fanfic #one piece fanfiction #one piece #ace one piece

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titania-sleeps · 1 month

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ARGHHH i can't choose!! i love all house husband though!!

i'm glad you do hehe... i devise and plot deviously just for them bc they deserve it. i do wonder if people enjoy meaner readers vs. loving readers; I'll release both eventually but the two of them have such a different dynamic. the normal sub house husband is a bit more assertive and a brat, while the inadequate one just really really wants you to love him and only him... but in like a pathetic way.

here's a little snippet of what i had for them (i think the initial draft for both dated around 2022...)! as a note, my ideas may seem to blend in w some of my other works simply bc i didn't bother making them too distinct from each other, but i'll edit it to become more cohesive when i post in full in the future :D

warning: mild nsfw, dom reader (implied afab), minors DNI pls

Submissive House Husband Yandere x Independent Strong Reader

He is undone by you, a knot slipping apart. Seams unraveling, hair untangling, his entire vessel breathing erratically. Your nails grazing his skin erupt whispers of flames, dancing and swimming to his face. You thumb his cheek, tenderly and softly. You are never tender with him, at least not to such an extent.

His excitement grows, but he fears to open his eyes. He fears that if he opens his eyes, he will peer too far into your thoughts. And he knows that you are not thinking of him, even when you let your kind lips leave little love marks on his face.

"Why won't you look at me?" you ask, your voice like a pleasant temptation to his ears. It slithers slyly into his brain, and like a command, his eyes flutter open.

"Good," you purr. A praise. He cannot stop the shy grin from stamping itself onto his lips.

"You don't..." he pauses, wondering if he should continue. You stop and look at him, giving him your full attention. Shying under your gaze, he mutters, "You don't do this to anyone else... right?"

Your laugh echoes back at him, as though mocking him, but it is not unkind. Your thumb presses against his upper lip. "No. You are my husband, are you not?"

His face lights up in bright pink. How could he doubt you? Oh no, you look disappointed. Frantically, he nods his head.

"Yes, I am yours," he responds quickly. You hum in satisfaction, leaning in for a gentle peck. But you leave too soon, much too soon.

Hungry for the saccharine taste of your lips, he wraps his arms around your neck and brings you in closer. Closer and closer, so that the lining of your lip becomes a perfect match with his. So close, to the point that your tongue is melted into his, and your needy flesh encase upon another.

He seeks for you with the vigor of a beast, no longer quite the same timid house pet he once was. As you pull away for a breath of air, he whines. Just a moment without your lips is painful for him.

The eyes that peer down on him are now focused, like a trained sniper on their target. His body shivers; now your attention is wholly on him. Now you are looking at him.

You are truly divine. You are a goddess sent from above to smite him for his sins, for loving you far too much. He can only beg by your feet, day by day, pleading for a single audience with you. He just wants to please you, to become something that relieves you from strife and suffering. And to think that his goddess is now looking at him, just him! Only him!

The sound of silk slipping off jolts him from his daze. His eyes trail the discarded piece of clothing; a snake slithering its way up to an iridescent apple. The soft gleam of your skin meets his own eyes, and the sight breathes life into his fingers.

"Not yet," you say, a wonderful smile presented to him on your countenance.

[To be continued...]

Inadequate Submissive House Husband Yandere x Loving Reader

His wife is everything he has ever wanted in his life. You are beautiful and kind; forgiving whenever he makes a mistake and even patient she he does. And he always does. You are so lovely, he cannot help but want to be with you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever—

But he can't. He knows he can't, and it hurts so much, because he knows that he is useless. Deep down, he has already realized that you are only keeping him around because you pity him, not because you love him.

He wants to do better for you, but his abilities are limited to very little. He wishes that his love is enough to satiate you, but he is far too well aware of your disappointment in him. If he is lucky, you will not divorce him in the next year or two.

♡♡♡

Oh, your sweet, foolish husband. Always so patient, always so soft. Demure mannerisms and shy mumbles cloud his true worth. He may bumble and stumble about like a newborn doe on two legs, but his demeanor and intellect are worth far more. Yet only you are allowed to know this, and it is something you intend to keep locked up in your little treasure box of secrets.

Although he should most definitely refrain from doing housework.

[To be continued...]

ty for reading if you made it this far!!

-> masterlist

#sub yandere #dom reader #dom!reader #sub!yandere #male yandere #yandere #soft yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere insert #yandere boy #titania-answers #x reader #oc x reader #male yandere x reader

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mountainficss · 7 months

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!! mentions of: age difference, unprotected sex, drinking,

i had a request for a dilf!seungcheol a while back ;) for @lalalalavv

dilf!seungcheol who you’d meet in a bar one night after a long day of work. he’d be sitting alone at the bar, his tie loosened and his hair slightly tousled from a tough shift. you’d find him so handsome, and would have no troubles slinking into the barstool next to him. he’d notice your presence and glance over, looking you up and down slowly. you’d introduce yourself and he’d smirk, taking a sip of his drink as you shamelessly check him out. he’d take in your cute work outfit, listening to your sweet voice as you ask him for his name. “it’s seungcheol,” he’d smile, swirling the ice around in his drink. his sleeves were pulled up to his elbows, the sight of his exposed forearms making you lightheaded. “well, seungcheol,” you’d purr, “feel like taking me home tonight?” he’d let out an amused exhale, looking down at his empty glass and tracing the rim absentmindedly with his finger. “i’m too old for you,” he’d reply simply, a sad smile adorning his perfect face. you’d shoot him a glare, grabbing his tie and yanking it towards you. you’d force him to look at you, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. “i wouldn’t give a shit if you were a grandpa, seungcheol.” you’d huff, rolling your eyes at him. “what’s the matter? do you fuck like one too or something?” you’d banter, trying your hardest to get him to give in. he wouldn’t reply, he’d just laugh and wonder how he stumbled across someone so unique.

dilf!seungcheol who would take you back to his place, one hand on your thigh the entire drive there. his thumb would rub circles across your clothed skin, and even such a minimal touch would send jolts of electricity through you. he’d lead you into his apartment building, taking you all the way up to the penthouse level. not even seconds after you enter would you both practically pounce on each other, both stumbling around as seungcheol does his best to lead you to his bedroom between kisses. you’d both flop down onto his bed in a frenzy, a tangle of limbs and lips pressing against each other. you’d rip off each other’s clothes swiftly, and seungcheol would have you underneath him in a matter of seconds. you’d both gasp as he first slides into your heat, the feeling of pleasure almost overwhelming. he’d bottom out, pulling out almost completely and slowly thrusting back in. he’d take his time with you, sensually rutting into you as you wrap your legs around him. his pace would quicken, drawing loud moans from the both of you. the alcohol in your system would make everything more sensitive, feeling your high approaching quickly. it wouldn’t take long before you were tightening around him, cumming around his cock and tipping him over the edge at the same time. your twitching hole would make his orgasm last longer, practically milking him dry as his strong thrusts slowed to shallow ones. he’d pull out carefully and flop down beside you, listening to the sound of your labored breathing and watching your chest rise and fall with every breath. he’d study your flushed cheeks, but would be snapped out of his daze once he sees you sitting up and rolling off the bed. “i’d better not overstay my welcome,” you’d muse, shooting him a timid smile as you attempt to collect your scattered clothes from the floor. “you definitely don’t fuck like a grandpa, seungcheol.” you’d joke, looking over your shoulder at him and laughing to yourself. seungcheol would sit up, admiring how pretty you are and frowning at your words. “please stay,” he’d plead as you turn to face him, your clothes still piled in your arms. “you aren’t overstaying. i like having you here.” you’d grin at his words, taking a step towards his bed. “even though we just met earlier?” you’d question playfully, receiving a shy nod from him. you’d chuckle to yourself, dropping your clothes on the floor again as you slip your bare body next to his. “okay. i’ll stay.”

dilf!seungcheol who would stay up late with you, pulling you close to his chest and running his fingers through your hair. he’d tell you about his children, two beautiful girls, and would share his story about his tough divorce 2 years ago. after the divorce he’d never gotten around to dating again, too consumed by his career and too discouraged from the split. he’d confess that you’d been the first person he was genuinely interested in, so when you asked him to take you home he just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. you’d smile to yourself, imagining how precious seungcheol would look playing with his two daughters. “maybe i’ll get to meet them in the future,” you’d hum, hearing seungcheol chuckle behind you. “if you decide to stick around for a while, i’d love to introduce you.” he’d reply quietly, pressing fleeting pecks onto your exposed neck. you’d lean into his touch, sighing at the feeling of his plush lips against your skin. the thought of seeing seungcheol again would make your stomach flutter, secretly hoping that this won’t be a one-time thing. you’d crane your head around at an awkward angle to reach him, locking your lips with his and grinning into the kiss. “maybe i will.”

taglist: @imprettyweird , @jeonghanpill , @bangantokchy , @caratboy , @c-hanniehae , @wonvsmile

#thoughts #seventeen #seventeen smut #smut #svt smut #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #seventeen scoups #scoups

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tinyproprodigy · 3 months

Text

Cram Sessions

Izuku Midoriya x reader (NB)

Midoriya Izuku's eyes went wide when you approached him about studying together for the upcoming U.A. exams. A light blush dusted his freckled cheeks as he nodded vigorously, mumbling about how studying collectively could enhance everyone's academic performance. Little did you know, this angelic boy harbored a not-so-innocent crush on you.

For the next two weeks, you and Midoriya could be found tucked away in quiet corners of the library, pouring over textbooks and quizzing each other relentlessly. At first, Midoriya was a bundle of nervous energy, his emerald eyes darting anywhere but your face as you leaned in to examine his notes.

However, as the study sessions progressed, a newfound confidence seemed to blossom within the timid hero-in-training. Where he'd once stumble over his words, he began explaining concepts with clarity and conviction, his eyes shining with unbridled passion.

Midoriya proved to be an excellent study partner – attentive, inquisitive, and genuinely invested in ensuring you understood the material. He'd pause frequently to ask if you had any questions, hanging on your every word with rapt interest.

On more than one occasion, you caught him staring a little too long, his gaze drifting from the textbook to your face with an almost wistful expression. Midoriya would then start mumbling under his breath, a habit you'd learned meant his mind was racing at a million miles per minute.

Uraraka, ever the insightful best friend, couldn't resist teasing Midoriya about his not-so-subtle infatuation. During one of your breaks, she bounded over and plopped down beside you two with a mischievous grinder.

"Getting some extra 'tutoring' in, are we Midoriya?" she said with an exaggerated wink, causing the green-haired boy to sputter and turn beet red.

"W-we're just studying, Uraraka!" Midoriya protested, his freckles almost disappearing beneath his crimson blush. "There's nothing else going on, I swear!"

You tilted your head in confusion, missing the implication entirely, while Uraraka laughed and ruffled Midoriya's hair affectionately. The poor boy looked like he wanted to melt into the floor from embarrassment.

As Uraraka retreated with a parting salute, Midoriya groaned and hid his face in his hands. You placed a comforting hand on his arm, startling him.

"Don't mind Uraraka, she's just being silly," you said with an easy smile. "Now, where were we? I think I was understanding the physics calculations until that last practice problem..."

Midoriya's blush returned full force as you leaned over the textbook, your faces mere inches apart. Up close, he couldn't help but notice how your lashes fanned across your cheeks, or the entrancing way your brow furrowed when you were deep in thought.

Shaking himself from his daze, Midoriya took a steadying breath and launched into a thorough explanation, his nervous stutter slowly giving way to confidence once more. Your eyes lit up with comprehension, and you beamed at him with such warmth that he felt his heart stutter in his chest.

These study sessions, while academically productive, were also slowly becoming a form of sublime torture for the freckled hero. Every smile, every brush of your shoulders as you pored over the same book, Every murmured "thank you" as he helped you grasp a difficult concept – they all compounded the growing affection burning brightly within him.

By the time exams rolled around, you were fully prepared, thanks largely to Midoriya's tireless efforts and patience. As you exchanged bashful high-fives after the last test, he couldn't help but wonder what studying for the next set of exams might bring.

#bnha x you #bnha x reader #my hero academia headcanons #mha x reader #izuku midoria x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #Izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya fluff #Bnha fluff #izuku midoriya headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons

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sanakimohara · 9 months

Text

“Love To Hate You” H.H.

[ MDNI ]

+++++

You were so oblivious. Never paying much attention to anything but your job and most people would commend you for it. The burden of working under a company like JYPE wasn’t for the weak and as a current staff member you were well aware of that. Being assigned to assist the company’s most influential boy group didn’t make your life any easier either but you enjoyed the challenge and always showed up to work with a smile and an enthusiastic personality.

Everyone thought you were too sweet and quiet to be doing such a taxing job. Many of the other staff would have to remind you to take breaks or at least stop and eat something since you tended to forget about things like that. Even the members noticed how dedicated you were to them, always bringing them delicious homemade meals on special occasions, or taking extra time and effort to situate their styling correctly. These small gestures were essentially a substitute for your lack of confident social skills.

You’d never let a detail get past you, made sure they were comfortable with everything you pick out, and are the first to assist them if something goes wrong.

Because of your docile and attentive manner they all took a liking to you very quickly. Chan even joked that you were essentially their honorary “baby” which at the time made you blush every time any of the members addressed you that way. You became a close friend with them and often found yourself spending time with the group when their schedules allowed it.

Most of the members became attached to you in their own ways -but not all.

As close as you were to the majority of Stray Kids, Hyunjin always seemed to keep his distance from you. He wasn’t cruel or intentional about avoiding you but it was obvious he was doing it. You didn’t say anything about it, never mentioned it to the other members either, and though you felt guilty for possibly making him uneasy you still were friendly in his presence. The nagging urge to confront him waded underneath your shroud of shyness and it didn’t help that Hyunjin could be intimidating sometimes.

That didn’t hinder the others from wanting you around though. It became normal for you to be around them beyond work obligations.

When you started coming around the dorm more often Hyunjin seldomly interacted with you. Although, more than a few times you’d caught him staring you down or eyeing any member who was close to you. He’d never say anything, nor would he directly focus on you if he didn’t have to, and this caused your nerves to be on edge when he entered the room.

The times he did give you the slightest attention ranged from randomly pushing a strand of hair behind your ear when you’d fix his outfits or a simple gesture like waiting to hold the door open for you when you’d drop by the dorms. To anyone else it just seemed like he being kind to you but it was obvious he didn’t do these things for any other staff…it was just you in particular.

This confused you further and one particular night after drinking through a few glasses of alcohol with Felix and Seungmin you wandered into Hyunjin’s room to finally confront him.

You felt nervous but the alcohol in your system overpowered your usual timid nature. Curiosity played a part in your sudden boldness as well but it was mostly the inevitable feeling of unease Hyunjin might harbor around you.

So, when you shuffled into his room and slid down the door as you closed it shut with a dazed look in your eyes Hyunjin wondered if you’d gotten lost trying to find Felix’s room instead.

That would be the only logical reason, he thought to himself.

If that wasn’t the case he prayed you wouldn’t stay long enough to notice the rising tent in his pants. He tried his best to hide it by leaning forward in his chair until his elbows rested on his knees which only left his face in your direct line of view. “Why are you here,” he asks with a slight smile, gaze slowly taking in your appearance, and you shifted slightly as he did. He was attempting to sound friendly but the question just came out rushed instead since his head was spinning at the sight of you.

You’d totally forgotten that it wasn’t at all proper to sit so leisurely with a skirt that short on. He could see everything you had to offer, your untouched mound so tenderly hidden behind lace underwear, and your sheer thigh high stockings elevating the bare skin of your thighs. Hyunjin took one glance at it all and had to remind himself it wasn’t right to take advantage of a sweet girl like you…even if you were practically asking for it.

The moral part of you knew readjusting your posture would be the respectful thing to do, but the other half wanted him to keep looking…at least now you’d have his full attention for once.

He couldn’t look away from you even if he tried…and he’d been trying since the first time the two of you met. Now, it just felt like pure torture to see you in a state like this. So vulnerable, powerless, and obnoxiously aware of the tension between you two.

“Why are you here,” he asks you again, forcing his gaze to remain on your face as you huff and lazily try pull your skirt down. You fail miserably though and the fabric just rides up your thighs higher. “Why do hate me…” you blurt the question out in a soft tone, as if you’ll cry if he doesn’t tell you the truth, and Hyunjin can’t help but to lick his lips at the sound. Hate you? Is that what you thought he felt towards you, hatred?

Hyunjin stifled a groan as the thought flooded his mind. All this time he’d been waiting for the right time to get closer to you and you show up in his room, drunk, almost in tears, and acting unintentionally seductive all because you think he hates you???

The irony made his cock jump with agitation and he forced himself to exhale steadily before saying anything else to you.

“I don’t hate you,” he responds honestly but you don’t believe him. “Yes, you do..” you mumble solemnly, hot tears begging to slip down your cheeks, and you tilt your head back against the wall to blink them away. An exasperated sigh leaves Hyunjin’s chest and he stands up from his bed to walk over to you. If his words couldn’t convince then he’d have to go to the extreme at this point.

“I don’t hate you,” he repeats himself, closing the distance between you two until he’s towering over your slumped form. This was the closest he’d ever gotten to you -that didn’t require you to be doing your job- and your heart beats rapidly realizing it. “Yes…yes you do Hyunjin,” you whisper and stare up at him defeatedly. “It’s okay if you don’t like me..” you assure him with a small smile and he rolls his eyes in annoyance. He knew you could naive and a little slow to realize when someone’s being genuine with you but it was only working him up more. He reached for one of your hands, placing it right over his evident bulge, “fuck,” he moans quietly at the forced contact and you watch as he rolls his neck to regain some of his composure before staring down at you again.

That was incredibly attractive for no reason, you think to yourself.

Your eyes go wide at the feeling his length, fingertips flush against his clothed cock as it twitches under your gentle touch. Hyunjin lets out a shakey breath, his bottom lip catching between his teeth as you gingerly palmed him as if you couldn’t believe he let you touch him, and you really couldn’t. “Does it feel like I hate you?,” his breath hitches as the question tumbles from his mouth and you shake your head slowly before whispering, “No..”

He twitches again, swallowing a sudden moan when you place a kiss on his covered hard on. You couldn’t help it, mind fuzzy from alcohol, and the newfound information of Hyunjin pinning over you rather than despising your presence sparking a need you didn’t know existed.

Hyunjin pried your hand away from his crotch, pulling you up to stand as he did so, and you stumbled forward into him from a lack of sobriety. His lips pressed onto yours without hesitation, tongue kissing you until your heavy breaths turned into soft moans. “I hate what you do to me,” he confesses his frustrations in the midst of your lips finding his and your core throbs hearing it. His hands wanders to the curve of your ass, hiking your skirt up high as he squeezes the warm flesh, and trails tender kisses across your neck.

You run your fingers through his hair, pulling the strands gently as he makes one mark after the next on your flushed skin. With his hands on your hips you’re eager to grind against him and he lets you until he’s brought you over to his bed. The back of your knees hit the edge and he gently shoves you down. “I hate that I can’t have you…can’t touch you whenever I want…can’t fuck you whenever I want..” Hyunjin groans as he comes to hover above you, grazing a hand down your leg to place it around his waist, effectively bringing your core right to the imprint of his cock. You stifle a yelp at the jolting contact, hips automatically lifting to feel more of him, and he allows it with a satisfied smile on his face. “Tell me you’ve wanted this to…that I’m not the only one..” his voice sounds so distant but it fills your head to the brim with lust. “You’re not the only one,” you reply breathily, head lulling back as he slips a hand between your thighs and rubs his thumb in circles over you covered clit. You clench around nothing as his touch stirs a familiar warmth in your core.

A blush paints your cheeks as his touch reveals how wet you are. You’ve practically ruined your underwear now and he makes it a point to admire his effect on you. “Is this just for me?” Hyunjin delves a finger past your folds without warning, adding another to stretch your tight cunt when he feels how easily you take the first. You tremble at the sudden invasion and moan out a broken, “Y-yes…” He hums in approval, curling his fingers forward until he finds the sweetest spot in your walls that makes you jolt underneath him as he abuses it. All while continuing to massage your clit in slow circles of his thumb.

“Ah…mmm Hyun-Hyunjin….” You can’t help yourself from moaning his name, lips forming a small ‘I’ shape as he focused on your pleasure.

You were sure that you’re high wasn’t far off and one look at Hyunjin concentrating on your every reaction didn’t help your stamina. Your hands reached for him and he immediately came close to you, sharing open mouthed kisses as he pumped his fingers lazily into you, every noise you made he quieted with a tender kiss, and soon your cunt contracted around his fingers before spilling your cum all over them.

“I’ve been waiting forever to do that,” he mutters into your ear, kissing it as a smile tugs at his lips. “Your pussy feels better than I imagined..”

You moan weakly in response and he occupies himself with marking up your neck again while his fingers slowly leave your weeping cunt. It felt like pure heaven when he takes a moment to play with your clit, edging you towards another high as he discreetly pulled his cock out of its confinement. You feel his length brush your inner thigh and you smiled at the promise of having it.

Hyunjin brushed a hand through your hair, the rings on them making it easier for him to fist a handful, and using the hold to force your head to the side. You whined at his rough gesture but couldn’t complain as he lovingly whispered in your ear, “I don’t hate you…but I’m going to fuck you like I do…” his word are met with a pathetic groan of anticipation from you, hips lifting to feel his cock slide up and down your slit. He lets out a sharp breathe, the hand in your hair tightening as you stimulate yourself with just his girth, and for a moment all hes capable of doing is enjoy it.

You’re so desperate to get off that when Hyunjin does push past your folds you instantly cry out loudly and have to steady yourself by clinging to him. He doesn’t wait for you to adjust to his size at all, keeping his promise about fucking you like he does actually hate you, and your body is on fire from the sensation. His hips create fluid and intense strokes, allowing his cock to reach places in your core you didn’t know could be touched.

His entire body envelopes your own, leaving no space between you two, and only amping up the amount of heated tension. “When we’re done you’ll never think I hate you again…” Hyunjin stays true to his word and by the next morning you don’t even question why you’re in his bed, curled up in his arms, with the sound of his heartbeat steadily resounding in your ear.

He’s never hated you. That much you’re sure of now.

+++++

#Spotify #skz #stray kids #skz smut #stray kids x reader #skz imagines #skz x reader #hyunjin skz #hyunjin x you #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 11 months

Text

Caretaker

Castiel & Winchester!reader (platonic)

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: You get to meet everyone’s favorite Angel, and the two of you become besties.

Warnings: kinda strays from canon in places, I don’t have the episodes memorized guys.

“You take care of her, ok?”

Up to this point, Castiel hadn’t taken much notice of the youngest Winchester; she wasn’t one of the vessels, so she was in no danger, and of little importance.

But at Dean’s words, Cas finally seemed to see you. You were just a kid, growing up around so much danger. And now Dean was placing you in his care.

“I will,” he promised both Dean and himself.

You didn’t say a word as Dean and Sam left. You understood why they had to go, and you had to stay; they were trying to hide from Michael and Lucifer long enough to formulate a plan, but if they were found, you would be a liability. You knew Castiel was the most capable being to protect you, but seeing as you didn’t know Cas very well, you weren’t exactly comfortable with this arrangement.

You didn’t know when you would see your big brothers again; aside from hell and Stanford, rarely had a day gone by where you weren’t with Sam and Dean.

“So what now?” You asked finally, and Castiel seemed to snap out of his daze.

“Now I take you somewhere safe.”

…

The day passed uneventfully, which Cas took as a good sign. What wasn’t a good sign was the fact that Cas couldn’t think of a single thing to say to you, and he could tell the silence was making you antsy. Well, that and the fact that your brothers were on the run from two archangels.

He found a motel in the middle of nowhere to stop at, and he waited rather impatiently while you got some sleep. The further he could get you from Sam and Dean, the safer you would be, but Dean had decided non-angelic modes of travel were safer, as archangels weren’t that familiar with backroads and crappy motels.

Cas woke you up early, surprised when you seemed exhausted—wasn’t four hours enough? That’s what Dean claimed he got. You followed Cas regardless, although your eyes were drooping before he even started the car.

For the next several hours, Cas couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. He kept doing a mental checklist—he had you, you’d slept, you’d showered, you had your phone, you had extra clothes—but it did nothing to rid him of the feeling. The last thing he wanted was to mess this up, the boys had been so reluctant to part from you. What was he doing wrong?

“Castiel?”

Cas turned his head to look at you when you spoke. He had barely heard you, as you spoke slightly above a whisper, your voice timid and hesitant. Were you scared of him?

“What is it?” He asked.

“I—um…I-I know we’re in a hurry, but, um…could we get some food?”

Oh no.

“I knew I forgot something,” Cas hissed under his breath, sighing in annoyance. You, who hadn’t been able to make out his words and only saw the annoyance, instantly backed off.

“I-I mean if there isn’t time I-“

“No, no,” Cas insisted. “Of course we have time, you need to eat. I’m sorry, I forgot.” A thought crossed Cas’s mind. “Did you eat yesterday?”

“Um…no,” you replied, still timid.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I-I didn’t want…um, I know that you’re-you’re trying to help me get away so-so I, um…”

You seemed unable to form full sentences, and Cas once again wondered what he was doing wrong to make you so nervous.

“If you need anything, I want you to ask,” Cas interrupted.

You just nodded and went back to looking out the window. Once Cas got you fed and back on the road, he made himself a promise. He had to do better, even though it was awkward and he had no clue how to talk to you. Clearly the silence of the last two days had made you nervous, so intimidated by the angel protecting you that you didn’t even want to communicate basic needs.

“I’m sure we’ll have you back to your brothers in no time,” Cas began.

You smiled weakly at him. “Yeah. And you can get back to your angel stuff.” You ducked your head suddenly. “I’m-I’m sorry you got stuck babysitting. I know you’d rather be finding a way to defeat Lucifer and Michael with Sam and Dean.”

Cas was silent for a few seconds.

“Well, it’s true I would like to help them. But keeping you safe is more important.”

You scoffed, “Me? Why?”

Cas was surprised. “We all care about you. We don’t want you caught in the crossfire.”

“And why would an Angel care what happens to me?”

“Because you’re my friend.”

That brought you up short.

“I…I am?”

“Of course.”

“I-I thought…” again you were unable to look at Cas. “I-I just kinda thought that you agreed to this to placate Sam and Dean…be-because you need them on your side.”

Cas wasn’t sure whether to feel bad for you or be offended. “You thought that?” He could tell that his hurt was bleeding into his tone. You noticed it too.

“I-I mean you’re an angel,” you quickly explained. “You have way more important things to worry about than me.”

“So…so you thought that I didn’t care about you…and you didn’t blame me for it?”

You just shrugged.

Cas didn’t know what to say. He most certainly couldn’t just fix your self image issues, he wasn’t equipped for that, but he could at least assure you of one thing.

“Well it’s not true. I do care about you, and that’s why I’m here. I want you to be safe.”

You didn’t respond, but Cas could see the smile you were trying to hide.

…

Something clicked after that. Cas didn’t know what it was, or how it happened, but suddenly the awkward silence between the two of you disappeared, replaced by non-stop conversation.

He told you all about heaven and some angels that had been his friends, you told him all about your human experience, and explained to him some general human things that he still hadn’t managed to grasp.

“So…tweeting is no longer just about birds?”

“Nope, now it’s an internet thing. I don’t think we should get you into that, though.”

“That’s probably wise,” Castiel agreed.

…

All too soon, things changed again. After a couple of weeks on the run, you again became withdrawn and quiet. A whole day went by without a single word spoken before Cas finally decided to address the issue.

“You’ve been quiet.”

“Yeah.”

When it became clear that this was the only answer Cas would get, he persisted.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m worried,” you sighed. “And I…I miss Sam and Dean.” Cas heard the strain in your voice when you mentioned your brothers.

“They’re fine, they called just last night. I’m sure you’ll see them again soon.”

“It’s been weeks, Cas, and we’re no closer to an answer. It’s starting to seem like…like we’re just gonna run until we burn out.”

“You can’t think like that,” Cas said.

“Why not, if it’s true?”

“It’s not,” Cas insisted. “We have to have faith.”

“In what?”

“In Sam and Dean. We—you have to trust that they’ll to anything—anything—to get back to you. They’ll find a way, and you’ll see them again soon.” Cas promised as he pulled the car into yet another motel. He stepped out, and you with him. You were quiet for a minute before—

“Hey…hey Cas?”

“Yeah?”

You hesitated, staring at the angel for a moment before making a decision. You lunged forwards, wrapping your arms around your new best friend.

“Thanks.”

Castiel smiled as he brought his arms around you, holding you as though he could hug away all your worries and loneliness.

“Of course, little one.”

#castiel #spn cas #spn Castiel #castiel & reader #castiel x reader #castiel x winchester!reader #Castiel & Winchester reader #castiel & winchester!reader #castiel Novak #supernatural #dean winchester #dean and sam #supernatural dean #the winchesters #sam winchester #winchesters x sister

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princehee · 11 months

Text

On Your Knees! - Lee Heeseung

Pairing: Heeseung x fem reader

Warnings: smut, fingering, blowjob

Synopsis: Two academically inclined students using each other to relieve their stress - rivals with benefits?

WC: 1k

PS. not proofread

"Hey, can you help me solve this?" the girl sitting next to you whispered, making you drift your eyes away from your book for a few seconds.

How can people not get the simple things right? your own voice echoed in your head as you gave your friend a firm nod.

And before you could get back to your book, the bell rang, making half the class already disappear, leaving you and your class president still stuck to your seats.

You walked to the one occupied chair, rows ahead of you and mouthed a 'Now' to the tall boy, who was running his fingers through his soft hair, seemingly consumed in the book he was reading, up until you beckoned him to join you for the rendezvous

You turned your heels towards the door, without waiting for him and exited the classroom in no time, his footsteps trailing behind yours.

The old supplies room never caught anyone's attention, students mostly ran to the wide playground or the library after school. Unlike the two of you, who discovered it by chance, and made it your meeting room to relieve the built-up stress throughout the day

You took your usual spot on the chair, and he on his knees on the floor, right under you. You'd be lying if you said that seeing him on his knees for you, didn't turn you on. The visuals were too pleasing.

You spread your legs apart and slightly rolled up your skirt, so you could see his face fuck your pussy.

He loosened his necktie a little as he adjusted himself in front of your entrance. Without wasting much time with unnecessary foreplays, he licked the sides of your thigh, slowly tracing his tongue to your already wet core. Your body instantly reacted by the toes curling in, and your knees being pushed inwards, squeezing the poor boy's cheeks between your legs.

He brought his hands to rest on your thighs and push them away to ease him in hitting your spots where you like them

He hooked your panty and pulled it one side with his finger, exposing your dripping cunt. Then he swiftly ran his tongue all over it, making you arch your back on the chair. You released your first moan, but tried holding yourself back from calling his name, because if you did, then it'd be game over for you two.

You both agreed on the 'no strings attached' rule from the beginning. However, you weren't really the fuck buddies type either, you never really took it that far. But there were times when you felt like you needed more of him, but you were too timid to voice it, because 'more' meant

It only took you a minute to squirt your cum all over his face. And right after you did, he stood up from his spot and wiped his face with the tissue he pulled out from his pocket.

"I'll be needing you after practice tonight" You were too dazed to even respond to him, but he looked at your worn-out state from the corner of his eyes and smirked to himself, feeling proud and satisfied at his work. Heeseung, the ace that he is!

You initially planned on leaving home early after school, but now you had an appointment lined up, so you decided to finish your homework in the library and wait till his practice ended.

A couple hours passed by, and you were almost done with your studying for the day. That's when you received a text from him, asking you to meet him behind the bleacher, so you packed your stuff and made your way to the field.

"Here?" you questioned, looking around and cocking your head slightly

"Yeah, there's no one here, don't worry" he spoke as he settled down on one of the benches, spreading his legs apart and looking at you impatiently.

You looked around one more time just to be sure, before dropping on your knees and pulling the drawstring of his shorts loose. You could already see the outline of his hardened member through his boxer. You almost forgot that you were staring at it for a good minute, and he let you.

Had you both been in a relationship, you'd have teased him for getting so hard .... for you. But you agreed on keeping things direct and straight-forward which meant no teasing, foreplays or unnecessary moaning like they do on Pornhub.

You rubbed his tip with your finger and ran your hand up and down his length. He was already leaking some precum even before you touched him, so you decided to lick it off for him. The sensation of your warm tongue that wrapped around his tip couldn't be described in words, but you noticed his head falling back and a deep moan that followed it.

You'd never heard him moan before, so this was your first time actually hearing his deep voice and for some reason, it turned you on. You wanted to record it and play it on loop every time you touched yourself at night, before drifting off to sleep.

You could see beads of sweat trailing down his forehead to his shoulder blades from the corner of your eyes. Your tongue kept swirling around his shaft and soon enough, you felt his hand gently pushing you deeper into him, so your mouth started to move along his length. He was too big for you to take in all at once, so you took your time in adjusting to his size as tears slowly started to form in your eyes. You'd turn into a crying mess if you kept going for another minute. Luckily for you, he seemed like he was reaching his high too, from all that twitching of his cock inside your lips.

You wondered what you could do to hear his throaty deep moan again, but it looked like he was giving his best in holding back from giving in to guilty pleasures that could possibly ruin what you actually have.

He pulled out as he came, spilling his thick cum all over your dress. Just great! You guessed that you probably had to head back to the bathroom to wash it off, cause you wouldn't want to gather unnecessary attention from people.

He was already packing up his stuff to get going, but you had things to say to him, things that could possibly even test your relationship that you're in, but you were still soaking wet, all from his moan and the wild imaginations that wrecked your brain

"I ... need" you whispered, hoping he'd hear you, but he was already on his tracks, leaving you behind to take care of your own business

Part 2?

#enhypen #enhypen smut #heeseung #kpop smut #lee heeseung #lhs #smut #angst #heeseung smut #mdni #pov #imagine #one shot #oneshots #female reader #fluff

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mirkhammett · 1 month

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die, die my darling (vampire!kirk)

summary; recently, you’ve realised that your roommate kirk has been acting different, inhumane. and you soon find out why.

warnings; blood drinking, light gore?, smut <3, a teeny bit of angst, fingering, non-protective sex (though baes a vamp so i believe it doesn’t matter :3)

w/c; 3.9k

the vamp kirk isn’t my idea, inspired by a great writer, @orions-choker!! pls go check their work out, it’s sooo addictive :p (not yet proofread so expect mistakes!!)

to say your roommate had been acting different would be an understatement.

his timid responses were the first signals that something was off- and then it was the lack of eye contact. the boy you knew to be once so smiley, couldn’t even luster up a few seconds of direct contact as you bid him off on many on his nights out, that had become much more common recently. he never said were he was going, and you never asked, but you had an inkling that every time was the same- he’d go out for a smoke, and a walk to clear his head (most likely). that would explain the faint stench of tobacco that always seemed to arise in the early mornings.

some nights you wouldn’t even wave him off- but something was the same, every single time. not once had you ever heard him come back, nor even the sound of the heavy wood door of your shared apartment clashing closed. nothing. and it wasn’t you were an early sleeper either, no. most nights you spent up into the early hours, an opened book resting on your duvet covered lap, your head only hitting the pillows when your neighbours would finally stop arguing and hit the hay. (which was never before midnight on a good day.)

but sometimes, only sometimes, you’d wake up after feeling a harsh whoosh of air through your room, rubbing your eyes in confusion and glancing to locked window. weird. you’d always blame it on your cheap, hardly working fan, and in a daze, go back to the land of dreams.

it wasn’t the first time he had acted like this, though. every couple of weeks he’d slip out into the night for these walks, and you’d take no mind of it, until now.

it was different this time. in the many months since kirk had moved in with you, you kept him close and considered him a friend. so why was it that he would avoid physical contact with you like the plague, hell, why was he so hesitant to even have a conversation? why was he always fully covered, wearing long trousers and thick sleeves in this scorching heat? and why were his eye bags so prominent, so much that his reddened veins were peeking through the thin layer of skin?

still, your feelings for him never once faltered, neither did the immense concern you felt for his wellbeing. maybe tonight was the night, do to something. to just say something, make sure he’s not struggling too much.

tonight you hadn’t heard him leave, and you hadn’t been in the living room, so he must’ve felt no need to announce his whereabouts. you couldn’t deny it, the division you felt between you and him hurt. -and tonight, tonight you were restless. kirk, he plagued all of the thoughts in your brain like a disease.

you yawned, setting your book down onto your duvet covered lap, just like every other night. the (un-happily) married couple next door had finally decided to give it a rest, but your whole body felt an immense itch, that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you scratched it.

you sighed as you slipped from under the covers, using one hand to rub your eyes and the other to mindlessly clutch your book. just as every night before, you checked the window was closed and locked, the moon shaped like a fingernail, the cheshire cat grinning down at you in irony. in irony of what, you didn’t know yet. you made your way down the hallway, passing kirk’s empty bedroom, not even bothering to check. you knew if he was home, there was no way his light would be off, and his door would be open, not even by an inch. he appreciated his privacy, and you couldn’t be mad about that.

the couch was where you decided to reside- and you didn’t care if it took even mere minutes or hours, you were going to get to the bottom of this. the thin blanket you draped over yourself didn’t provide much comfort or warmth, the coolness of the brown leather beneath you overpowering the heat, the shitty air conditioner on blast.

not even a full hour had gone by before you starting to hear it. the clatter of heavy combat boots walking down the hallway, the noise getting louder and louder as they reached your door. his combat boots. you immediately sat up on the couch, wiping your drooping eyes as you twisted around on the couch, so your body was resting against the backrest, your eyes studied tightly on the door.

he opened it with the firm gentleness that would radiate off of him, the gentleness that you knew so well. he fumbled to shove his keys back into his book, kneeling down to untie his shoes.

you leaned further over the couch, watching him with your mouth open. “kirk?”

he immediately stilled, raising from his bent position and turning to slowly, slowly face you. so much looked wrong with him, with so little explanation. you felt yourself straightening your back up. “i..” he whispered, like a deer caught in headlights.

his once muscular arms now looked much more frail, with such prominent veins, like a red rash covering his whole body as they pulsed wildly, thrashing with a hunger for blood. the rash continued up his bare arms, up to his pale neck, and through to his lifeless face. he looked tired. so, so, tired.

and without thinking you rose from the couch, stepping towards him with pure concern and worry in your features. your voice came out a soft, comforting whisper, as you reached your arm towards him. “what’s wrong with you, kirk?”

he winced as soon as your soft skin came in contact with his arm, his expression a grimace as he shut his eyes as hard as you could, almost as if he could escape this situation. you were hurt by his sudden moment, and you didn’t fail to show it, no matter how hard you tried to mask it. “you look so sick,” your eyes trailed down to his figure, “is there something i don’t know about?”

he shock your arm off of him, wrapping his arms around himself in a protective manner. a low grunt of pain escaping from his lips.

“i don’t want to hurt you, please..” it was the most you had heard him speak in days, and while you should’ve been happy, the tone of his voice was so heartbreaking, so shaky and frail.

you looked up at him, eyes full of concern, brows furrowed. he wouldn’t look at you, not fully. his eyes were either trained on the ground, or glued shut. he couldn’t bear to look at you, not at a time like this. he couldn’t bear to think of the consequences.

he had been putting of his weekly feed for a while now. infact, he hadn’t fed in weeks. whether it was the guilt or hurting another that consumed him, or self hatred, he didn’t know. all he knew was that he didn’t want to hurt you. the smell of tobacco was present on him, but you hadn’t even realised it. and if you had, you really couldn’t care less, not with the state of him.

his fingers were so pale, and the effect it took for him to press them against his own skin made you wince. even more so, did his response.

“why would you hurt me?” you slowly closed the gap between the both of you, bringing a gentle hand to burns against his cheek. “you could never hurt me.”

“but i could, y/n.” he spoke seriously. it took all of the strength in him to not just take everything he wanted from you, drain you dry. but with anyone else, he wouldn’t have even made it this far. your touch sent shivers through him, the strong scent of your sweet, warm blood rocking through him.

suddenly it all became too much, his chocolate brown orbs turning a dark, sinister shade of red, his mouth opening as he gasped out a grunt of pain, clutching his cheek.you flinched, pulling your hand away and stepping back away from him. if he was in a better state than he was know, he would’ve noticed your fear and reassured you. but he couldn’t, with the growing pains in his gums.

and once you recovered from the shock of his sudden harsh movement, you saw it. where two of his teeth once stood, were razor sharp canines, the gums around them enflamed and bloody- and that was when he finally looked up at you. with the look of horror in your eyes, he knew he couldn’t hide it anymore. “i…i’m not human, y/n.”

“you’re..a vampire?” you voiced wearily. he nodded, his exhausted eyes catching onto yours. “why do you look so…so ill?” you spoke with caution, fear in your voice, and kirk could tell, no matter how hard you tried to cover it. kirk felt his heart break at that.

“i haven’t fed..in a while,” his hand was still clutching his pale cheek, his voice filled with pain and despair. he coughed shakily, his legs buckling slightly. in a state of panic, you immediately held him up straight. he sucked in a harsh breath at your touch. “i can’t..i can’t risk hurting you.”

you shushed him, leading him to the couch, your book left discarded, the blanket now kicked to the floor. he sat slowly, still wincing his features at your gentle hands. your touch felt good, too good, and that was the problem. your touch had his undead body pulsing and throbbing, like his heart was really beating again, when he knew it.

that was how it always was with you, and he had no explanation for it, not until recently. why was it he felt so strongly for you, and no one else? it wasn’t just his heightened senses, no, no..that was for everyone else, too. it couldn’t have been his bloodlust, thought he found it so much harder to spend time around you when he was on a fast. it was more than that. there was no way for him to explain it, not truly, other than that when he was around you, he felt alive.

he didn’t even feel it when you sat down next to him, occupied by a whirlwind of thoughts circulating around his brain, going through to his empty lungs. all he breathed in was you.

“do you need blood?” how you still seemed to remain so concerned for him after what you had just found out, he couldn’t fathom. he continued to stare at the ground, and you know his answer. “okay,” you hummed, coming closer. “feed from me.”

his eyes widened, his hands coming to push you away, his voice a pained ramble, “no, no, please, i couldn’t..you’re the only person i don’t want to hurt.”

he looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes so wide you were afraid they could pop out of his head. he voiced pure denial, but you knew he couldn’t deny it for too much longer, the bloodlust taking over.

“it’s okay,” you bared your neck to him, your warm breathe sending shivers through you. “take what you need.”

he grimaced, though he leaned in, his guilt so clear on his face. you brought a hand up to his hair, ruffling it so gently he felt he could cry.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, resting his cracked lips against your smooth skin. he hesitated for a couple seconds, until you tightened your grip on his black coils, and he lost it.

his sharp fangs broke the barrier of your gentle skin, your warm blood intoxicating and filling up all of his senses. he growled into your neck, your whimpers going unheard by him in his blood lustful state. he sucked your neck with force, a bruise already forming around, what would soon be, a bite scar.

he didn’t take much, because it was you. and if it wasn’t you, he feared he would’ve drained them dry, sucked them of all their life and soul, body turning paler, and paler, until their skin was tinted grey and he had no choice but to pull away, as they held no use to him anymore.

but it was you. so he pulled away, his mouth gone just as quick as it arrived. you whimpered as his fangs retracted, his rambled words drowning out the pain. “thank you, i’m sorry, i love you,” these words flowed from his boyish voice like a river, talking before he could even think properly again.

he wiped the loose droplets of blood from your neck with his thumb, which suddenly didn’t look so lifeless anymore. his eyes had returned to their normal shade of brown, his veins no longer visible. your body relaxed against the couch as it was now his turn to dance his hand through your hair, kissing your forehead lightly, and then pulling back.

“you love me?” you grinned, your eyes half shut, but still gazing upon him.

he returned a soft grin, his black curls bouncing as he nodded down at you, regaining his strength back. “how could i not?” he mumbled.

your body felt like a million fireworks had just gone off in your stomach, butterflies zooming around at the impact- and no, your giddiness was not from the blood loss, but kirk’s admission of love. their had been an undeniable tension between you and kirk for the many months you had lived together, confessions of love always wanted to be released, but remaining to hang lowly in the back of your minds.

for when you would grocery shop for your shared apartment together, and he’d go off and gather all of the snacks he knew you loved, without you even asking. or when you’d have a movie night, and he’d pick whatever movie he knew you were dictated on at the time. but neither of you ever said anything.

and now with his vampirism so clear to see, you knew things should have changed. you knew your feelings towards him should’ve changed. but they didn’t. “i love you too,” you whispered sweetly. you rolled your body closer to him on the couch, sitting up and using your hands to steady yourself, bringing your face towards his. “kiss me?”

he complies quicker than the speed of light, his hands gripping on your waist, softly, but firmly, his touch electrifying. he shuffles his hips, urging you to straddle his lap as his lips take place on yours.

he’s soft with it at first, becoming increasingly sloppier with time. “fuck, you’re so pretty.” he breathes heavily into the crook of your neck, his lips back on yours.

and then it’s happening all too quick. your hands are dragging down his back, clawing even as he dominates the kiss, one of his hands now on the back of your head, keeping you steady and pulling you into him. he’s much more vocal than he was before, your blood giving him more energy than he’s ever felt before. you tasted different to everyone else. sweeter, he thought.

he’s quick to reach for the buttons of your sleep shirt, his nimble fingers slipping the bonds between the buttons and the holes of the striped material, the silk shirt hanging loosely off your shoulders. he takes in the sight of your bare chest with widened eyes, your perky nipples hardening under the shitty cool air radiating off the fan, and kirk thinks you look perfect. he leans in, leaving soft, wet pecks all over the bare skin, leaving imprints in their tracks.

you giggle, shimmying yourself out of your matching pair of shorts that complete the set, the silk material easy and complaint to slip from your body without much hassle. you mentally thank yourself for choosing this set for tonight. he quickly rids himself of his own shirt, leaving nothing to the eye.

his chest is like a sculpture from the gods, and you wonder if his figure has always been this good, or improved when he became undead.

his hand trails down your thigh to lightly graze your panties, then he stills. he looks up at you with a serious expression, his eyes soft and thoughtful. “is this okay?”

you nod with urgency, grabbing his hand firmly and pushing it into your crotch. “more than okay.” you mutter, catching your own breath.

“someone’s eager,” he mumbles under his breath, chuckling softly. he doesn’t mind though, as he’s already lacing a finger under the lacy material of your thong, hooking it and yanking it down your legs. it bundles up around your ankles, and you kick it off with ease. “there’s my girl, so pretty.”

you whimper as he trails a finger over your bare pussy and he experiments, rubbing it lazily over your clit. he whispers praises that you can barely hear, adding another finger to the mix. he uses this one to rub up and down your slit skillfully, all your arousal accumulating up just from the touch of his gentle hand. he speaks again, this time loud enough so you can just about hear him. “tell me if it hurts, m’kay?” you hum and nod, squirming on his lap.

he pushes a finger into you at the arrival your consent, slowly and gently, as to not hurt you- once he’s fully sure that you’re okay, he slides another in, this time firmer with his movements. he doesn’t move them yet as he lets you adjust to the new intrusion, just curling them inside of you.

“more, more,” you whine breathlessly, and he complies wordlessly. without warning he starts to thrust them, not quite reaching a fast pace yet, but not slow either. he uses your whines and whimpers to his advantage, finding the pace that he’s figured you enjoy most, deep thrusts of in and out, in and out, the sounds of your wetness and his palm slapping against your pussy with each thrust creating a cacophony of passion.

and it’s not long before your muscles start to contract more often, your gushy walls tightening around his calloused fingers like a vice, when he knows your getting close, and without a second thought, slips his fingers out- with absolutely no struggle, even with your tightened walls, your arousal a perfect homemade lube.

he silences your whines before they even start with a messy kiss, and it’s right then when you realise- when did he take his pants off? you don’t spend much time pondering over it, instead over his muscled legs, and his, oh my god, perfect dick.

it’s not the longest, but it’s girth makes up for it, and you can hardly even think about it before his whispering into your ear, bouncing you on his lap. “can you lay down f’me, baby?”

“y-yes.” you manage to pull squeak out, trembling of off his lap as he arises to stand, getting comfortable with your head resting on the armrest of the worn out couch, you bought way before he even moved in. you never imagined in a thousand years it would be used in this way.

it’s not long before he’s back above you again, his face just above yours as his curls coil down to brush your skin, his front strands tickling your face, causing you to giggle. you smiles at your response, opening your legs apart with a single hand. he rubs your clit, holding his dick in the other, like he hasn’t prepared you enough already. and then he’s pushing in, and it’s oh so good, and it’s nothing like you’ve ever felt before, still feeling slightly dazed from the blood loss, the tingles from your wound sending signals all the way down through your stomach and electrifying the butterflies, down to your pussy.

it takes him a good minute to fully emerge himself, taking his time by looking at your facial expressions, waiting until the pain of the initial stretch has fully dismissed before continuing to push further in. he’s situated inside you comfortably, like the missing puzzle piece, and it’s so disgustingly loveable, the air thick with the stench of sex and cigarettes lingering from his discarded jacket laying on the side.

slowly he begins to thrust experimentally, whacking your face immensely for any signs of discomfort, to be greeted with none- so he continues, his thrusts gradually growing in speed and deepness. he uses one hand to hold himself up, propping it up beside your waist, shadowing over your figure. he uses the other hand to rub your overstimulated clit with agility, knowing all the ways to make you tingle in just mere minutes.

the way his balls slap against your smooth skin with every thrust is addictive, the way your hands grip loosely onto his forearms powering him on- just knowing how good he’s making you feel all the motivation he needs. “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“thank you.” you respond airily, your whole body bouncing with each thrust, your words changing in pitch, becoming higher as you move up and down. he lets out a small chuckle, his thrusts slowing just slightly, before returning to their normal pace.

he’s breathless himself, sweat beading up along his hairline, his chest covered in a thin pearly layer of sweat. not enough to drip onto you, but enough to show the effects you have on him. he’s grunting himself now, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic. that’s when he feels that familiar tighten of your wall as again- thought it feels so much better this time, so much warmer, so much tighter. he’s grunting softly, more and more with each and every thrust, becoming more wild by the second, your bodies moving up and down in unison.

“i’m, im close..” you manage to mutter out, thought there was no need, as he could already tell himself, your not so subtle tighten around his length giving you away. he nods repeatedly, his breathing heavy and heightened.

“i know, i know baby,” his thrusts are so sloppy, and it’s so addictive to both parties. you’re not sure if you could ever live without him. fuck, how did you go so long without him before? “are you gonna cum f’me?”

and all you can do is whine in response, a whiney and whimpering mess for him, all sprawled out on the couch, your hands no longer on his arms, but laying uselessly beside your body, to weak to grip onto anything. your walls contract even tighter now, and kirk knows it’s any minute now. your soft moans don’t stop though, no. infact, he’s almost sure they’ve gotten louder as you encounter release. “come for me, okay?”

it’s almost as if he’s controlling you like a puppet, for the way you release immediately after he’s told you too. he doesn’t stop yet, not until he’s reached his own peak- and when he does, he still doesn’t slow, riding his, and your orgasm out to its full extent. and then when you’re fully spent, that’s when he finally pulls out, his body relaxing on top of yours. he doesn’t still for long though, and after a minute he’s up again, rising from the couch to kneel beside your body.

“you tired, baby?” he peers out the window, seeing how the suns just barely, but still beggining to set, and he feels guilty for the long hours he made you wait for him earlier. you hum in response, causing him to smile softly. “okay, lemme carry you to bed.”

maybe feeding isn’t so bad after all.

#stars writing!!#kirky cutie #kirk hammett #kirk hammett x reader #vampire x reader #vamp kirk apologist #metallica #james hetfield #vampire #dave mustaine #lars ulrich #jason newsted #rob trujillo #cliff burton

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