#fwb!ghost

[lunarw0rks]

hey girlie,

you're literally the best thing that happened to this fandom, ilysm, never stop writing, mwah

i had a headcanon idea/au idea from the op poster of fwb!ghost

so this is in the timeline of where you and simon have had this arrangement for a while and he's already fully aware he is down bad for you. i'm talking you're his everything, he won't love again, if not you then no one type of endgame. this means he is not seeing anyone else, everyone is turned down. you, unknowingly feel the same way but you're dealing with the exact opposite way. you're dating around, trying to find anyone who could mimic if not a sliver of what you're feeling for simon. you land on dating this dude who is... mediocre at best.

you break things off with simon, both of you leaving heartbroken but simon still remains your friend.

he's nice, but he isn't simon. he's good, but he isn't simon. you get him to meet the 141 who are possibly more surprised that you're dating anyone than you were. (what you don't know is that everyone knew you and simon were a 'thing' they were just waiting for the two of you to get your head out of your ass. price was the only one who knew because, for the first time, simon came heartbroken, searching for comfort from the only person he could think of. it was a rough night)

"this is james," you introduce him awkwardly and it doesn't get better from there. james isn't rude but he tries to match up to the guys which doesn't work. he brushes you off and simon keeps glaring at him like james was the sole reason for this evening being a shitshow (he is correct)

on your way to your apartment, james is standoffish and rude. he keeps mentioning the fact that you work with only guys, that he shouldn't allow that as a boyfriend, blahblah whatever. it turns into an argument and it doesn't get better.

to establish his masculinity (his words) he becomes rude and even misogynistic at times. he picks at your outfits, your cooking, baking, you name it he was an asshole about it. you complain to the guys and each time are met with a stern "leave him". which yes you should, but who would be left?

simon hates james with a burning passion. it wasn't even so much so that you were dating someone else, it was the fact that james treated you like trash when you were meant to be treated like gold, the finest treasures in the whole world. he scowled whenever he was mentioned and you two would often argue about your relationship. it goes as far as the two of you not talking to each other for over two weeks.

it isn't until you find out james is cheating that you break things off with him. he was going behind your back with multiple women and his flimsy excuse was that "you didn't have time for him and you cheated with the 141 anyway". you cried and threw him out, breaking up with him then and there. it was messy and bad, and you have never felt more awful. you and simon weren't even on speaking terms and yet you needed him.

you called him sobbing and you've never seen him come as fast as he did. you're pretty sure he broke speeding limits to get to you. you cried into his arms, telling him the whole story finishing it with the fact that you were never good enough. simon tries to tell you otherwise but through some miscommunication, you're arguing again and you're telling him you're unlovable until simon just shouts

"for fucks sake i love you, you idiot!"

silence. just pure silence until you throw yourself on him, kissing him deeply.

anyway, thank you for reading, hope it wasn't all that long, i just love ghost and angst a lot <3

🤍🩶🤍 *mwah smooch smooch* back to you. tysm for the love and support. that made my day, even though seeing “hey girlie” made me nervous at first LOL 🤍🩶🤍

we have a new character to the fwb!ghost timeline, and i hate him (in a good way). is it bad that i want ghost to beat him to a pulp in a back alley? just me? is this thing on?

you’re in simon’s bed that night, peacefully sleeping. all while he’s driving home with bruised knuckles. he gets home and climbs into bed with you, and you unintentionally wake up…

steamy things happen… and you notice his knuckles in the heat of the moment, but are quickly distracted by simon’s overwhelming intimacy; before you can connect the dots. he always has new bruises, new injuries — it comes with the job.

it’s sick of you to be even more aroused, watching those large, bruised hands squeezing and claiming your flesh.

and deep down, a part of you knows…

[iite-cool]

he can't be gentle. how could he possibly be something that was beaten out of him so cruelly at such a young age?

you don't get soft fingers dancing lightly along your hairline as you sleep on his lap, no, you get a large, calloused paw brushing back your hair so he can see your pretty, pretty features better cos it was annoying him. he can't hold your hand don't be daft he'll crack your smaller bones in half... is the reasoning that he hopes will convince himself to stop fucking thinking about playing with your pretty fingers and pressing soft kisses to them. he's not soft! he's a killing machine! he knows nothing but anger and rage and numbness. so what is this strange fuzzy sensation in the hollow hole in his chest that's bothering him? why does it feel good? why is it making him fucking smile?

when he curls his mass around your sleeping body, don't be mistaken. he doesn't want to feel the way you fit perfectly against him. he's just.. trying to swallow you whole. he's not trying to get closer to you no no he's actually attempting to steal your joy. it's not as if you lessen the, thus far, endless and overwhelming burden of his corporeal blight oh no he's just using you.

everytime he presses his mouth against you and doesn't suck your blood out, he reasons that he's practising self-control and instead forcing himself to leave featherlight kisses that make you giggle oh so sweetly even when he knows deep down that he'd pluck out every one of his own teeth if even one dared puncture your skin. simon's not a soft man. he's not a gentle man. he's killed countless with the very hands that you play with. he tells himself you mean nothing to him, that he could walk away and forget you whenever he felt like it but everytime he wishes that his fingers were softer so that they may be more pleasant upon your skin and everytime he wishes that his lips were less chapped so that you may kiss him more, he knows he's fighting a losing battle.

simon riley will become a soft and gentle man in your embrace and there's not one thing he can do to prevent it.

masterlist

pls comment i have so many thoughts about this man that need to be talked about xx

[oceantornadoo]

blue collar!simon who works in a factory and white collar!reader who works in the corporate office attached to it. long “smoke breaks” that end with you two in one of the office bathrooms with simon’s cock in your mouth or his fingers in your cunt. sometimes, he doesn’t even take his gloves off, especially when you’re mewling about the texture inside you.

[shotmrmiller]

✨Toni~✨

I come with an idea. I need more FWB! Simon. I need angst, I need to suffer from this man, I know he would do us so dirty.

Like imagine since the both of him and reader are non exclusive, but reader gets knocked up. She's panicking because she's on birth control, trying to figure out who she slept with last and it's HIM-

And maybe, just maybe the last time they slept together, they had a fight. Because this Mansss decided to leave us after an argument, because he had another 'appointment'.

So yeah know, now we got to tell this dick we're knocked up. And I don't know you can go from there, if you don't like this idea, delete it ignore it.🫠

BUT ANGST.

Thank you for your time, I love you Toni you rock like always! 💓

oh, so dirty.

esp if i use the fwb simon from the (platonic) cbf johnny au i got.

Johnny held your hand as you waited the 5 minutes for the results of the pregnancy test.

"What am I gonna do if it's positive, Johnny? I can't...I'm not ready to be a mum!" you sniffled and took in a shuddered breath. "What are the chances that I'm the 1%?"

His expression was solemn, thin lips set in a firm line. "Ye finally gonna tell me tha' the father is Simon or do ye wish to continue playin' yer little game?" Johnny rasped.

You rest your head on his shoulder and tiredly close your eyes.

"Was hoping I'd never have to tell you. It was supposed to be just a quick knocking of boots and then we both went my merry, his miserable, ways. But as per usual, I'm just dogged by misfortune."

The wait for the timer to ring had your heart slamming against your ribcage. The prospect of birthing a child you never even thought about having had bile rising up to your throat, leaving an acrid taste on your tongue.

You start at the piercing ring of the timer but don't move to get up.

Johnny, forever your hero, is the one who bites the bullet for you.

He gently flips over the stick, stares at it for a second, then drags a hand down his face. He also doesn't look at you as he utters, "So are ye gonna tell 'em?"

You hastily crawl over to the toilet bowl and empty your stomach.

Pregnant.

--

You told Johnny everything. How it started that one night when he had been over here for drinks, and you had put Johnny to bed because he'd gotten to sloshed, to propositioning him and then the weekly hook ups.

Well, almost everything. He didn't need to know that you gave Simon a sloppy toppy in his kitchen while he snored away that same night you asked him to fuck you.

And then how it finally ended. Simon getting redressed at witching hour because some other tart called him to go over. (your thighs had still been wet from his spend at that time)

So you had called him an unpaid whore; A worthless piece of meat— good for nothing other than cock— and told him that if he leaves, you and he are done.

He had huffed out a laugh, grabbed his motorcycle helmet off your dinner table, and walked out the door without a backward glance.

Johnny hadn't said a word the entire time, but then again, he didn't have to. His countenance said it all.

Disappointment.

He looked so devastatingly disappointed that your eyes welled with tears in seconds and spilled— one fat drop after the other until he pulled you into his arms and held you as you wept, your grief and anguish visceral.

--

"Ye've gotta tell him, bonnie. He has the right to ken."

You let out an aggrieved sigh. Again, with this. "No. He hasn't texted in weeks. Clearly, Simon doesn't give a damn about me. 'Sides, we don't need him when you're around."

A wave of dizzying nausea slams into you, and your world beings to tilt on its axis.

"Don't feel so good, Johnny, I think I need to sit down."

Strong arms catch you as your body crumples and everything goes dark.

--

You rouse from your sleep and find yourself in Johnny's bed with a sharp pounding in your head. Groaning, you turn over to your side and press your fingers into your temples— hoping to alleviate some of the pain when your phone's screen lights up.

Simon's calling.

Goddamnit Johnny. Bloody nosy parker.

You decline it and wait for his text. He's always hated when you ignored his calls on purpose.

And there it is.

Where you ever gonna tell me?

Nothing you need to know about.

No? I thought you were on birth control.

We don't need you.

That mean you're keepin' it?

My baby? Yes, obviously.

Our. Stay at Johnny's, I'm coming over.

No, no. Stay at your girl's house. We'll be just fine without you.

Cute. I'll see you in 10.

(lowkey wondering how he would react if you told him it's johnny's. lol)

[ftmsimonriley]

i really do think gaz and ghost have a "my boyfriend's boyfriend" type relationship. like they don't have a lot in common, don't talk much or hang out by themselves that often, but they have a mutual respect based on the fact that price trusts them. ghost was already there when gaz started being price's protégé, and ghost trusts price's judgement sometimes even more than his own. their relationship strengthens when soap gets introduced, because he's definitely gaz's bestfriend and partner in crime, and someone (read: ghost) has to keep them out of trouble and so he gives them more reasons to encounter each other.

gaz eventually learns that when everything's too much, he can't sleep, and his mind won't leave him alone, ghost has an uncanny ability to find the calmest and furthest spots to chill in that become more predictable the more he seeks him out. there's eventually more than enough times that he nods off while sitting somewhere with ghost, only to wake up back in his bed.

[nemo-me-impune]

Should I post another unfinished fic on ao3 or should I just let it languish on my hard drive for eternity

[cas-backwards-tie]

Oof. I know it’s gonna be awhile anyway bc of work but I’m still writing & always thinking, planning-

Recently I’ve been getting more into Johnny and John and Gaz and 😭 idk what turned me off of Keegan and maybe it’s the way everybody’s been hating König (or the fact that I fell in love with Vlad 🙊) but

Now I just keep thinking about changing the original plot of possibly taking it from (spoilers! kind of?) Solely having Simon and Reader be FWB, her falling, getting crushed, then the two of them distancing for awhile as she simultaneously falls for König who’s actually what she wants and is looking for, but Simon fell harder and now actually sees what he wants, which is her.

But then I also had Keegan too and that was a little side drama but I don’t think that needs to change. Can still happen.

But now I’m thinking of changing it and 😭 rip. I have too many ideas. Like because (this is actually spoilers but bc of setup) Soap would overhear regardless of changes or not Simon & Reader together. But what if he gets jealous and doesn’t just wanna be friends with reader? What if he wants some, too? What if he’s actually a better match with reader than König is? 😭 What if he screws up by trying to make the FWB he has with reader, (which she also has one with Simon too) more than it is, without talking about it and she runs to König. Maybe she thinks she wants König and he falls for her, but maybe… maybe it’s Johnny who actually makes her a better person. Maybe as much as he enrages her and makes her laugh, and cry, and swoon… maybe he’s the one she loves. Idk.

Now I’m so torn 😭 like fucking RIP. Because at this point and with the other ideas going off in my brain last night it was gonna be a whole COD universe fic bc 🤷‍♀️ wth. Like alright. Already was gonna be messy ash w just the triangle and tiny square going on but… a pentagon is… unfathomable. Ridiculous. Unacceptable. Unbelievable and ludicrous. Not happening. No way. No sir-ee. Not in my house. In my story. Like oof.

I really don’t know what way to take it and I just am dying and wish I had someone to bounce board the ideas off 😭❤️🥺

[soulfullintrovert]

Honestly every time I see you, I just want to disappear. The feeling weighs so heavily on me. I’ve been struggling mentally. It’s been exhausting since you ghosted. Every time we reconnect and something happens, you are always so quick to block me and cut me off and I can’t deal with it anymore. I just want to crawl up in a ball and never come out. My mind wanders and I overthink because you don’t give me anything. You hold back when you’re with me. Every interaction with you, feels like the last one. You leave me in the dark then suddenly show up when you want some fun. I am nothing but a good time to you. You leave me guessing and wondering about what I did to deserve the emptiness that you drown me in. I feel so much for you and it sucks.

[lunarw0rks]

before i say anything to else i adore your writing, i stalk this page once a day at least and i can’t get enough, please never ever stop writing

anyway

i saw your post on fwb!soap and i can’t stop thinking about a fwb!ghost.

ghost who didn’t think he’d catch feelings, it was just meant to be a way for the two of you to get rid of some pent up tension or stress, quickies in the closets, blowjobs in the office, as you both fix your clothes afterwards going about you normal task.

you’re still friends, ghost makes bad jokes, you tease him and you both look out for each other, just like friends do, except you also fuck sometimes.

until ghost can’t get you out of his head, you plague every single corner of his mind. your smell, your touch your laugh your moans, e v e r y t h i n g. he wants you close to him all the time, so he can keep an eye on you and he’s jealous of every man who comes near you.

he glares at every single rookie, sergeant and private who looks your way, so much so that people start whispering that he’s like your guard dog.

if you go out and fuck a different guy he is the snappiest and rudest asshole you’ve ever met. well, he’s not rude to you, he can never be, but everyone else gets to experience hell on earth. and if the guy you’ve fucked doesn’t make you finish, just using you for their own pleasure? consider them dead and gone. but not before ghost gives you the best orgasms of your life, ignoring his own needs for the night.

he just loves you so much and wants you to be happy, but feeling like he could never be enough for you (spoilers, you love him too, he’s just an idiot)

tysm, i’m glad you enjoy my blog 🫶🫶 i can’t believe people actually “stalk” it for updates omg

IDIOTS IN LOVE !! FWB !! GRUMPY LOVE INTEREST !! JEALOUSY/OVERPROTECTIVE !!

EVERYTHING GOOD IN THIS WORLD FR

[mielmoto]

Rate'em, honey! He's practically flaunting himself!

Drop me a character name and I’ll reveal my muse’s heart... | (accepting)

💔 Non-existent || 💗 Very low || 💗💗 A little || 💗💗💗 Hopeful || 💗💗💗💗 High || 💗💗💗💗💗 Maximum

wonderful, (that's more like it)—it would be her ABSOLUTE pleasure to do so, sunshine.

VISUAL ATTRACTIVENESS: 💗💗💗💗 (purely aesthetic appreciation of looks)

If Honey had a nickel for every brown-haired, blue-eyed high-energy golden-boy type she was wildly infatuated with, she'd have at LEAST two nickels, and probably more if put to the test—which is to say: he hits the high ranks, for sure, if not the absolute peak. Her highest echelons are generally reserved for the slightly beefier types, but that's no disparagement to Pit's trim, athletic, sprightly physique... (and that also means it's the full 5 hearts if we're borrowing this artist's rendition as a basis). But otherwise? Excellent hair, beautiful eyes, expressive and well-kempt, but also a little wild at the edges. Mwah, mwah. gorgeous.

FRIENDSHIP LEVEL: 💗💗💗½ / +💗 (how close a friend they consider them)

This one is a teensy bit of a mixed bag, isn't it? On the one hand: they're easily compatible as friends in the bantering, playful, mutually-impulsive and adventurous category. I see Pit bringing out the best in her in that respect, inviting her out of her sometimes-lazy or cautious nature (avoiding certain risky situations because eeek ooooh aaaah scary!!) with the pure sense of elation which comes from their shared company—the effortless sense of fun, of intrigue. They have similar attitudes, similar personalities; they're the life of the party as much as they are the party, which goes double when they're together... But it's not the deepest of friendships, in that right. Reluctant as either can be with emotional vulnerability, and what I think becomes an unintended expectation for both to maintain the high-energy, light-hearted atmos they cultivate between them—they don't exactly reveal much of their heart to one another, and it's difficult to say that they're really close with that in mind.

SEXUAL DESIRE: 💗💗💗💗💗 (...you know ( ͡°ᴥ ͡°) )

They are an absolute nuisance to everyone around them. Genuinely, they're so compatible in this respect it is annoying, and they can scarcely breathe a whole breath without saying something HEAVY on the subtext. Indulgent and wholesale unashamed in their enjoyment of one another, as well they should be.

ROMANTIC INTENT: 💔/💗(this could go ANYWHERE higher but for now??)

bad! at! commitment! gang! if one or both of them did/does end up catching feelings for the other, they'll probably capitalize on the whole (borderline) immortal privilege of dropping off the face of the fucking earth and hardcore ghosting the other person for a century or two rather than just come out and say anything. ruin their perfectly good, fun arrangement just because they got sentimental? perish the thought. which is a shame, really, on some level. they'd probably be good together. oh well. not a concern, at the moment, so fuck it: we ball.

[oceantornadoo]

toxic but in love fwb!simon with some hurt/comfort

“i know your gala is important, si, but can’t you come? just this once i just want-“ you were wringing your hands, twisting them into unfamiliar shapes as you argued with simon, your situationship. you two were always like this, pushing and pulling at the boundaries of your relationship. moon and tide, destined to move each other but never close enough. “we’re not dating an’ i have a work thing. can’t come.��� he shrugged nonchalantly, turning his head so he couldn’t see the pleading look on your face. instead, he pushed himself off your couch and reached for his jacket by the door. the silence in the air turned sour, some dark ugly thing created by him. his heart was a dead thing inside his chest, unable to muster a beat or two for you. he wanted to. a want so deep it ran in his blood, turning him cold. “fine. see you in six months or whatever.” your voice was stony, bitter. you reached for the tv remote and unpaused the show you two were watching, trying not to care about the sounds of him lacing his boots and grabbing his keys. you were done, done with this tug of war. you felt his stare drill through the side of your head as he put on his mask, the final bit to his ensemble. he might think that’s what got him named ghost, but it was really this, this act of playing human when he just didn’t care. he was a poltergeist in your life, knocking things out of order but refusing to show when it mattered. you were done.

one night later and here you were at your first art show, the debut of your career. dressed in your fanciest attire, second glass of champagne in your hand as you tried to network your way through the room. your feet ached from your shoes and there was an itch in your back you couldn’t quite reach, but you put on your best smile as another potential buyer went on and on about their summer in the hamptons. simon wasn’t here but it was fine. the tears you had been swallowing back for the past thirty minutes were just tears of joy at your accomplishments, nothing more. you thanked the buyer and turned the corner, finishing off your glass as you took a much needed break. suddenly a hush went over the crowd, a slight silence broken by a small quip. the room went back to normal but you went to check it out anyways, hoping it wasn’t someone making a bad comment about your work.

you arrived at the entrance and almost passed out at the sight before you. four men-no, machines, dressed in full military regalia stood in front of you. soap and gaz were already working the crowd while price was entertaining one of your donors, but your eyes were focused on ghost. ghost, who traded his balaclava for a more crowd-friendly medical mask, stood in front of you with a bouquet of carnations and a bottle of wine. you approached him slowly like you would a skittish animal, taking patient, methodical steps. “read carnations are for celebrations.” he said, almost sheepishly, as he mechanically thrust the bouquet towards you. you took it out of instinct, eyes still focused on his. “you came?” you said unbelievingly. simon was here, simon brought his friends, simon brought you gifts? he had to have been drugged or something. there was no way. “you called.” he answered, breaking out of his awkwardness. “‘m sorry for yesterday. knew i was coming, jus’ gave you a hard time. had to celebrate my girl’s first show.” your mouth dropped at that. my girl. “but…but we’re not dating?” you took a step forward, the rest of the room falling away as his gloved hand touched your cheek, brushing back the wrinkles on your forehead. “d’ya want to, lovie? was at this gala all night, thinkin’ bout how fun it would’ve been to have you there with me. makin’ fun of all those puffed up generals.” you let out a small chuckle and his back straightened, encouraged by the sound of your laughter. he loved the sounds of your laughter, your drunk giggles and your loud snorts. most especially he loved the sharp barks of surprise you made, the ones you gave when something or someone made you happy without expecting it. like now. “yes. if you’re sure.” the foggy emotions in your head were finally clearing, letting in the sun. his warm eyes caressed your face, pride evident in his face. “‘m sure.” he sealed it with a kiss to your forehead, not wanting to be unprofessional at your work event. simon felt something in his chest. maybe a heartbeat. maybe he had one after all.

—

thought of the “you came? you called” tiktok audio with this one. currently on my period so y’all will only be getting emotional stuff for the next couple of days 🫶

[kazanskys-mitchell]

i need to get off dating apps for fucks sake. why are you 27 and still “figuring out your dating goals”

[bisexual-slime]

Imagine having 2 different people at 2 different times (1 back in October and 1 from last week) both express a romantic interest in you with a promise to plan a date and do something together. And then they both ghost you

i think I might just give up entirely honestly at this point lol

[whereireid]

First,I luvs your work babbie☺️ May your cooter cat be forever ate. But I’ve got an idea for you, after I’ve read your Aphrodisiacs fic and,💋, but I’m thinking an au or whateva of shy scientist reader by day and sexy lil cam girl by night and maybe our fav recombinant sees a stream?

may my COOTER CAT be forever ate?? thank you!! manifesting this rn 🙈

and yesss!! im working on this right now :) idk when it'll be done by but i swear im doin it!! <3

[ghostaholics]

could you make a part 2 for ignite please? it was so good omggg

yeah! it’s already a wip called fuel to the flames 😌 here's a snippet

"Mm, you touch yourself tonight?"

Your breath catches in your throat at the question. This is a safe place. It's just him, right? "Needed to after what you said. Couldn't stop thinking about you." The words are expected to feel like busted glass, sharp and jagged – a knife's edge as they leave your mouth. Instead, it's nothing but heat, a desire that you've been trying to cage up, now slowly unfurling and slipping through the cracks.

His eyes are piercing; they cut through even the inky blackness of his room. Johnny's voice is molten, ragged and washed with barely-contained restraint as he groans at your confession. "Did it help?"

"No," you admit, swallowing thickly. Raw honesty. "Now that I know what you feel like against me, I want the real thing."

[y2kuromi]

⭑ : 呪術廻戦 ❛ 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗕𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 : satoru gojo x fem! reader

synopsis. there’s nothing casual about your relationship with satoru

contents. as sfw as this trope gets. fluff. angst if you squint. no est rel because fwb ⇢ mutual pining & miscommunication. college au. profanities. kissing eugh. i love this song sm ‹𝟹

satoru can tell something’s up from the moment you pull away from him. one second you’re kissing him like you need to feel him to live and the next you’re backpedaling, eyes shining with something akin to fear.

“‘s something wrong?” he asks, blue eyes flooded with concern. his thumb brushes gently against your bottom lip and he’s surprised to find it’s quivering.

he feels something stirring in his chest, love. he loves you. at first it was just excitement to hook up casually with someone who understood him on a fundamental level, but it quickly became a sharp pang of longing. it quickly became love

he didn’t have much to base the feeling off of. he just knew he felt like he was doing something right when you smiled at him and he felt like he was on top of the world when you kissed him. he’d initially been petrified because he didn’t do feelings. he never had.

he was used to random girls fawning over him, used to them begging desperately for his phone number. used to leading them on for weeks before ghosting them. used to one-night stands remaining one-night stands.

but he wasn’t used to this. feelings. he simply didn’t do them. yet he couldn’t help but care about you. and the fact that you were right here in-front of him with tears brimming your waterline

you shook your head fervently. “no . . sorry, i just needed a second” satoru knows you’re lying. he knows you by heart.

he knows you squint when you’re struggling to read something. he knows you drum your fingers when you’re bored. he knows you hate drinking matcha made with old leaves. he knows your nose crinkles when you laugh. he knows your lips taste like sugar and your breath hitches when he kisses you like you’re the only thing he knows. and he knows so, so much more

but he doesn’t know why you’re lying to him. why you’re so quick to slip from his embrace, why you don’t let him hold your hand in the hallways or why you shrink away from him as if he’s capable of breaking you beyond repair.

(he doesn’t know what’s so bad about being with him wholly)

‘no strings attached’ you’d said, repeating the words over and over like a mantra. bullshit. you’d lost faith in their power the more you uttered them. and your beliefs succumbed to falsehood.

‘no strings attached’ he’d agreed, and it had been easy enough at first. he’d tried not to let his heart drop too much when you kissed him. he’d tried to keep the compliments to a minimum. he’d tried his best, and he’d failed miserably

why did he have to fall in love with the one person that didn’t seem to want him?

“you sure?” he pushes, “something’s clearly on your mind, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to”

( it’s always been more about you than him.)

“i want to, i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t. i just . . .” you trailed off. you couldn’t find the words to tell him that this wasn’t casual anymore. that shoko had been right when she'd said you couldn't be casual with someone you cared immensely about.

“hmm?” he drank you in, slow and deliberate. you weren’t scared. you were nervous. he chuckled lowly, amusement reverberating in his chest. “c’mon we’re friends aren’t we? you can tell me anything”

friends. you weren’t sure you were still on the same page about what that meant. friends didn’t know each other the way you did. friends didn’t kiss like they needed each other to breathe. you weren’t sure what you two were but you weren’t just friends.

not quite friends, not quite lovers . . simply something good. satoru made you feel good. he made you feel loved. more so than your exes had.

his eyes trailed leisurely over your figure as he bounced his knee absentmindedly to regain your attention. you parted your lips, but the only sound filling the space between you was his unfaltering laughter

it was too hard to speak with the intensity of his blue eyes burning into your head. your mind was undeniably foggy and your sentences were barely comprehensible. his laughter wasn’t making things any easier.

“stop laughing” you whined, burying your face in your palms.

you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his hands traced circles on your hips “i’m trying to talk to you”

“and i’m listening” he laughed, motioning for you to go on. you shifted cautiously in his lap. keeping things casual had been your idea entirely. on paper, hooking up with your best friend after a breakup was a bad idea. a terrible one even.

satoru just happened to have been in the right place at the right time. he just happened to be there when you needed someone to make you feel good. and he didn’t leave

it was easy to do the heart breaking,the ghosting. he’d done it over and over again and he’d walk away unscathed. he could do it in his sleep, in a heartbeat

but he never did. because you were his best friend first, and the benefits didn’t even come second. they were merely an afterthought. because he couldn’t fathom the idea of treating you as if you were just a casual fling, of acting like he didn’t care about you

you’d implored him to, and he had to the best of his abilities but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you.

“i’ve been thinking about something recently” you murmured, finally making eye contact with him. his eyes are sparkling and you’re sure he’s making fun of you

“yeah, what’s that?” you stare at him for a moment. taking in his messy hair and freshly kissed lips. you wonder if his lips have kissed anyone else’s like they have yours. the thought upsets you more than it should

“how i feel about this. about you” your throat feels dry as the words fall from your lips. “i don’t feel the same way anymore”

fucking finally.

he’s quiet. blinking once, then twice before cracking a lazy grin. you groan inwardly, already regretting treading this path. telling him your feelings ran deeper than casual intimacy, was like handing your heart to a god on a golden platter

“oh? have you finally fallen in love with me?” he teases, poking your ribs and making you scowl, “took you long enough”

“you . .you’re insufferable. you know that?” you deadpan, pinching your nose bridge with faux irritation.

“that doesn’t answer my question” he persists,his eyes are unreadable as they search your expression. he tries to find a crack in your composure, hopeful to see how you truly feel about him. hopeful to see if this feeling went both ways

he was sure he would be forever altered if it didn’t , he was sure he’d never be the same if the feeling wasn’t mutual

“what answer do you want?” you fired back, feeling small under his scrutiny. “do you want me to say i’m head over heels in love with you like everyone else to feed your ego?”

“no! fuck no” he sighs, running a hand nervously through his ivory curls. “that’s not what i want at all”

he knew you didn’t think you two could work. you were too scared to try. and he was too scared of losing you completely to do anything about his crippling feelings for you. you didn’t really want him. he knew that, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

“what do you want then?” you can feel frustration seeping into your voice. you were confused, so confused. because you had no solid ground rules

just ‘no strings attached’. it was vague, too hazy. and you’d never really understood what it really meant.

“you,” he shrugs nonchalantly as if it’s the most salient thing in the world. as if his heart isn’t hammering obnoxiously in his chest “thought that much was obvious”

and it all makes sense — his lack of commitment towards other girls. shoko being adamant that you couldn’t possibly keep feelings out of this arrangement. how hard he’d chased you. how gentle he was with you. how much he cared

it had always been because of you. it would always be because of you.

“i know . .” he says quietly, testing the waters, “i know you don’t want to make something out of this and i respect that but that’s not what i want”

“we won’t work” you say feebly, you’re not sure the words convince even you. and they only twist the knife deeper. his eyes are glossy, treading over the edge of disbelief.

you’ve never seen him this vulnerable, an absolute shell of the confident boy worshipped on campus. his lips wobbled faintly and you could almost hear his heart cracking in his chest

“you don’t know that, you can’t say that when we haven’t even tried.” he’s beyond desperate, grabbing your hand and brushing his thumb across your knuckles as if they’re capable of granting wishes

“i want to try” your voice is timorous, “i really do, but i don’t want to be just another girl to you. i don’t want to lose you”

satoru laughs again, but there’s no humor tinging the sound. just immeasurable sadness “you’re never going to lose me” it was irrational for you to think that, if anything he was the one at risk of losing you, of losing everything

and he couldn’t shake the feeling he already had

( he’d thrown away his pride, ego, and dignity, as if they were nothing all so he could comprehend the depths of his feelings for you. all so you could look past gojo, and see satoru

all so you could love him )

“you sure?” you asked tentatively. he was known for his empty promises. for breaking hearts and leaving with situations with only his intact. but he loved you.

that had to count for something. that had to count for everything

“‘m positive” satoru nodded, “i’ve never been more sure about anything in my life”

“okay” the smile that finally tugs at the corners of your lips is sweet, undeniably so. like wisps of cotton candy and ambrosia. so sweet, you leave him insatiable

your hands are gentle as they smooth over his shoulders before looping around his neck. his nose brushes against yours softly and you’re close enough to bask in the scent of cool mint lingering on his breath.

you’re anything but patient having wasted so much time on second guessing. you craved closing the painful distance and pressing his lips to yours. but satoru craved commitment and communication a lot more

“can i take you on a date?” all you can muster is a nod as his bottom lip grazes yours and your fingers card through his ivory curls. it’s a start, it’s not much, but it’s more than enough for him

© Y2KUROMI 2024. please do not plagiarise, repost, or translate any of my works on here or any other websites.