#Ashton Irwin writing

[talkfastromance4]

Feel my love—Ashton Irwin oneshot

a/n: this is not what I originally planned for this to go but, here we are🙃

Warnings: body worship (I think at least), oral sex, dirty talk, praise kink (if you squint), different positions, slight sub space, fluff

Word count: 2.1k

Feedback is always welcome and reblogs help a great deal! Enjoy!

•••

Rain is pattering along the windows, the hush of wind matching your uneven breathing as Ashton’s lips trace over your skin. He started at the peak of your forehead, tracing the contours of your face then hovered over your lips. He paused there waiting for you to touch his lips with your own but it’s fleeting because he trekked a detour to your jaw.

While his lips were claiming your neck, his left hand scoped the plains over your hip and waist, each stroke of his fingers created speed bumps over your skin and a shiver through your body. He took his time circling his tongue over your nipple while his hand cupped the other breast massaging it.

“Ash,” you squeak when his teeth tug on your risen bud.

“Be patient, angel,” his breath is hot between the valley of your breasts and he continues down. He uses both hands to grip your breasts, nipples caught between the valley of his fingers and his tongue drags down your stomach. “I want you to feel it all.”

He peppers kisses over your lower stomach, you feel your heart pounding against his palm.

“Relax, baby,” he sighs curving his head to kiss your hips. “I’ll take care of you.”

You moan in response when he kisses between your legs and they fall open like a book. His hands are still squeezing your breasts, his teeth nip at the flesh of your thighs and you run your nails over the backs of his hands, wrists, and forearms. If he’s touching all of you, you want to be touching as much of him as you can as well.

“That’s it,” a kiss to your pubic bone, “just feel.”

His tongue slips through your folds easily and the sensation causes you to clutch at his hair and you’re gasping from the quick strokes and licks of his tongue. Ashton brings his hands down your body, one taking hold of your hand in a tight grip while the other grips the conjecture between your thigh.

“I know you’ve been stressed, baby,” he mumbles and flicks his tongue over your clit. Your legs jerk, you pull on his hair. “Long days at work…”

You arch your back when he inserts a finger, pumping in and out, in and out. Thunder rumbles outside but you’re more aware of how tight you’re holding his hand and the languid way his tongue moves over you, in you. He makes it flutter like a butterfly as he inserts another finger, each flutter clipping your clit at the right interval.

“Yes!” you squeak, sensations rolling over you like the rain down the windows.

Ashton pumps his fingers rhythmically and you peek through your eyelids to see the muscles in his shoulders flex and tighten. The sound of his fingers and mouth working you over bring you to the cusp of an orgasm, you feel it coming and arch your hips to meet his motions. He hums as if he knows–because of course he does he knows your body better than anyone else ever has–and moves his face up and down with the motion of your pelvis.

Your heart is pounding for a different reason, gasps and moans mingling together. Ashton’s moaning with you, encouraging you to let go and give into the sweet release. You feel it building, and building, like an intense crescendo of a song.

“Give it to me, come for me.”

And you do. You cry out in pleasure as you feel it wash over you, from the top of your head all the way to the tips of your toes. Your body freezes in motion, that sweet release coursing through your veins and chasing after Ashton’s fingers and tongue. Your legs wrapped around him, ankles taut until the sweet release has concluded and you feel the pounding of your heart in your ears.

Your body is hot.

Your body is buzzing.

Ashton suckles at your sweetness until your body goes lax against the bed and you can hear the rain again. Your lips turn up in a blissful smile, neck rolling to the side as you watch him kiss his way back up your body. His eyes meet yours and his fingers are the last to leave you and you’re left empty yet full at the same time.

You feel the sticky drag of his fingers up your stomach, coated in your orgasm, shivering as he circles your nipple then stops at the entrance of your lips. His hazel eyes gaze adoringly at you and he jerks his head the slightest bit. You open your mouth and his fingers glide inside, you suckle on them.

You stare at each other unblinkingly and you slither your hand down his waist, over his hip, onto his stomach until you’re stroking his cock. He’s velvety soft and incredibly hard in your hand, his hips thrust into your strokes.

Your palm catches on his veins as you tug him ever so slightly to your entrance, his head bumping you.

“Love how wet you get for me,” he says removing his fingers from your mouth. “Can always slip right…” he presses into you so the head of his cock spreads you open but he pulls back again, “in.”

He’s teasing you and you pout at him.

“Please, Ash,” you run your thumb over his tip, lifting your hips in tandem to try and pull him inside you. “Want you to fill me up.”

“Yeah?” he strokes the hair on the side of your head. His body dips onto yours and you welcome the weight of him, both in your hand and on top of you. “You do take me so well, angel. Such a good girl for me.”

“Come on, please,” you move your hips and the hand holding his cock and he’s almost inside you.

Before you could blink or gasp at the swiftness of his motions, he somehow has your hands above your head held tightly between his hands. You stare at him in shock but when he smiles, you smile back.

“Good girls don’t talk back,” he shakes his head and you roll your eyes causing him to rub his head between your folds. “Or roll their eyes.”

“Wanna feel you,” you sigh trying to move your arms but his grip is tight. He knows you like it and you feel your arousal leak out of you.

“Dirty girl,” he smirks dragging his dick against you once more. “Making a mess for me, huh?” he adjusts his hand so he’s holding your wrists with just one as he uses the other to hook around his hip. “Do you want it slow or fast?” he presses his tip into you more and you’re clenching at the loss when he pulls out.

“Hard,” you whisper.

You catch a ghost of his smile before his lips are on yours and he plunges into you. You cry into his mouth from the immediate satisfaction of him filling you up. Ashton wastes no time by fucking into you hard and fast, the bed already jerking against the wall. Your bodies become flush, hot and sweaty with each drag and pull.

You meet his hips perfectly, skin slapping skin and his hand hot on your thigh to keep your leg in place. Your kiss becomes sloppy, heated, and dirty and you’re aching to drag your nails down his back but your hands are caught. The restraint makes it hotter and you’re arching into him again, needing to be closer.

“How’s that baby?” he pants when your kiss breaks. His fingers on your thighs are probably leaving bruises but you want more of him. His hips roll and rock, his cock gliding along your walls deliciously.

“S-so good…” you pant, his eyes glance down at your breasts as they bounce with your movements. “Harder, baby…please.”

Ashton growls and releases your wrists so he can push your legs up, your knees against your chest. He fucks into you relentlessly and with no mercy, giving you exactly what you want until your eyes roll back, mouth open in a silent moan as you’re filled with ecstasy. The quick drag of his cock in and out of you has you seeing stars and you clench your hands behind his neck, your foreheads touching.

“Want me deeper?” he gasps, his hair is wet from sweat hanging over his forehead. You nod quickly, licking at your dried lips. He pulls out of you and you cry out at the loss. “Turn over, angel.”

He helps you with careful hands because your body is buzzing and you felt your orgasm creeping in. You’re on your stomach, cheek pressed into his pillow and Ashton drags your hips up to his pelvis. He taps the inside of your thighs so you spread your legs, his fingers slip between your folds.

“Ready baby?” he asks.

You crane your neck so you meet his eyes, but you take him in before you answer. His chest is glistening with sweat, his hair curled and tuggable, arms big and strong.

“Yeah,” you whisper.

He smiles back, grips his cock and glides inside of you easily. You both groan at the sensation of being connected once more and Ashton starts a slow rock. In…out…in…out until he moves faster. The new angle has him going deeper and this is one of your favorite positions because of that reason. Your eyes close at the familiar bliss, a soft laugh echoes against the pillow.

Your head feels lighter as your orgasm trickles in quickly, his cock sliding and gliding at the perfect precision. Ashton’s breathing evenly, making sure to keep his tempo and his own orgasm at bay.

“Come for me, baby, c’mon…I can feel it,” he grunts pushing in further. And he hits that sweet spot.

“There! Oh, right there, right there,” you sing and he complies easily.

You hold onto his sheets, bracing your body so it stays still so he can keep fucking you in the right place. Your ears start to ring, your stomach rolls and you’re coming again. And it keeps going and going and going until–

“Oh, fuck,” Ashton groans and snaps his hips even faster until he’s pulling out and you feel his hot cum spurt and rope onto your back.

Your pussy is clenching at nothing, your body still chasing an orgasm that lingers with him. The pillow is wet from your mouth, your brow sweaty from the euphoric sex. Ashton’s noises are music to your ears as he jerks the last of his release onto you.

After a moment, you gather the rest of the sounds around you; the ticking of the clock on the wall, the constant crash of rain on the window and the quiet hum of the radiator. You feel Ashton shift towards the nightstand then feel him dab at your back with a wad of tissues and then the cool swipe of the baby wipe to really clean you off. He stamps a kiss on your lower back then falls next to you, his hazel eyes gazing into yours.

“Hi,” he whispers nudging your nose with his.

“Hi,” you breathe slipping your legs down so you’re flat on your belly. Your head is swimming, your body is heavy, you’re totally blissed out in the best way. You somehow inch your way closer to him and Ashton takes you into his arms, your legs intertwining.

“How do you feel?” he asks kissing your forehead.

“I feel…loved,” you swallow and caress his cheekbone.

“Good. Want you to feel my love, always.”

“How do you feel?” you poke his nose for emphasis.

“Complete.”

“Ohh, you make me complete,” you sing, “you make a complete mess–”

He covers your mouth with his hand and you’re giggling into his palm and he’s chuckling with you. You know he doesn’t like hearing his songs play during sexy times because it always gets him thinking about the production behind it thus losing the allure of the sexual moment at hand.

“You know I had to, the opportunity was right there,” you defend when he removes his hand.

“I know,” he rolls his eyes affectionately. His arm snakes around your waist, your bodies still sticky but it feels nice. “I didn’t really comprehend the ‘caught up in heaven’ until right now. Because–”

“No, don’t say it,” you shake your head.

“Because you’re my angel,” he smiles and you groan at his pun but love that you can be goofy together.

“You’re ridiculous,” you snicker pinching his hip. “But that’s why I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

You continue kissing and caressing each other’s bodies as the rainstorm continues on outside and soon the kisses turn deeper and more sensual. Then you’re rolling on top of him, pinning his wrists to his sides with a grin.

“My turn.”

Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower​ @mymindwide​ @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @celestialams @in-a-world-of-fandoms @blairscott @writersdare

[kindahoping4forever]

Cashton via Emma Rosen on IG

[irwinsblender]

reassurance

A/N: hi everyone!! this is my first fanfic that i’m posting on here and the first ever oneshot that i’ve written! as it’s coming up to christmas I decided to write a festive themed oneshot as my first post! i hope you enjoy :)

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: reader has worries about meeting ashton’s family in person for the first time

warnings: a small amount of anxiety

word count: 1k

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Usually, you were always excited for the Christmas season. Celebrating with loved ones and giving out gifts had always been your favourite thing to do.

This year was slightly different.

Ashton had suggested spending Christmas in Australia with his family this year. After many video calls had gone well with them, he assumed it wouldn’t be a big deal for you. Of course, it wasn’t at first. You were over the moon about getting to go to his home country for the first time.

With your flight there coming up in a few days time, you’d both been packing your bags in preparation. Including any gifts that had been bought for his family.

When you decided on taking a break from packing, Ashton offered to pick up some food. Expecting you to be ready to eat once he returned. Instead, he found you sitting out on his back porch, staring out at the darkening sky above.

He considered leaving you to your thoughts, thinking that you’d been okay all day. Something inside him told him that he couldn’t leave you alone. Something was wrong.

The back door opening caught your attention, glancing back to see Ashton walking outside. You sighed, leaning your head against the back of the chair you were sat on. He joined you, sitting down, waiting until you were ready to talk.

You cuddled into Ashton’s side, slipping your arms around his torso with your head against his shoulder. His arm draped around your shoulders.

“Everything okay, baby?” Ashton asked.

You shrugged, not sure how to tell him that you were freaking out about meeting his family in person for the first time.

“Is it about Australia?” He tried to answer for you if you didn’t want to speak. You nodded. “You’re worried for the flight? I know you’re concerned about how long it’ll be.”

“No, it’s not that,” you closed your eyes, trying to figure out how to explain your feelings. “I’m anxious… about meeting your family.”

“Oh,” he said. Not expecting you to say that. “You’ve been alright talking to them on our calls though, haven’t you?”

“This is different though, a lot different,” you sat up again, crossing your legs in front of you as you faced Ashton. “It’s not talking to them through a screen this time, I’ll be seeing your mum, your siblings, your grandparents, it’s a lot, Ash.”

With the way your voice almost broke at the end, Ashton couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen a hint of your anxiety to meet them sooner. You’d talked many times since agreeing, and none of those times had you expressed how worried you were becoming.

“You’re good at talking to people you haven’t met before,” Ashton tried to remind you. “You were fine talking with the guys the first time you met them.”

You looked away from Ashton after he said that, seeing the sun getting lower and lower. With how you were sat, Ashton moved to rest his hand on your knee, caressing his thumb back and fourth to comfort you.

“I’m not worried about talking to them,” you finally admitted. “I’m worried that they won’t like me.”

“Baby…” Ashton looked at you with a sad expression, the same way he always looked when you said things like that. “They like you already, they’ve seen the way you are on call, or when we’ve posted together.”

“How can you say that when they haven’t met me? Yes, we’ve talked, but over a video call.” You slouched in your seat, running one hand frustratedly through your hair. “I’m different in person than over the phone, you know that better than anyone. I’m quiet if someone calls me, but I can be the loudest person in the room when I hang out with our friends.”

“You’re my girlfriend, they’ll like you, baby.”

“just because I’m your girlfriend doesn’t mean they’ll like me.” You replied stubbornly.

Ashton figured he’d have to take a different approach to how you were thinking. He moved to face you more, patting his lap for you to sit on, which you could never say no to. Now sat comfortably with your hands in his, he continued talking.

“They haven’t chosen whether to like you or not depending on if you’re quiet in one setting or loud in another,” he placed his hands on your waist, rubbing up and down softly. “They liked you even before they saw your face. They liked you as soon as they realised how happy you make me. All they’re worried about is that you care for me and love me.”

You nodded, listening to what he said to you. What he was saying was true in every sense. Your parents were the same with him. As long as you’re happy, and as long as he takes care of you, they couldn’t not like him.

“and you do care for me. Every day you care for me, and love me, I feel it every second we’re together.” He cupped your cheek in his palm as you leaned into his grip. “They like you because I’ve told them about the real you, the you that I fell in love with, the you that I want to be with forever.”

“What if I mess up or say something wrong as soon as we get there?”

“I’ll be there to jump in,” He reassured. “If you get too anxious, I’ll start talking. If you aren’t sure what to say, I’ll talk for you. Until you’re more comfortable with my family I’m more than happy to do whatever you need to feel okay.”

You took a breath as you nodded at him. Feeling slightly better about this whole situation. All you needed was a little reassurance from Ashton, and that’s exactly what you got.

“I love you, you know that right?” You chuckled softly.

“And I love you,” Ashton leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips. “You’ll talk to me next time you have any worries?”

“Yea, I will.” You promised, looping your arms around his neck as he hugged you closer to him.

For now, everything had turned out okay in the end. You’d admitted how you felt, Ashton understood and didn’t mind at all. He was going to suggest going inside when you spoke again.

“What if your sister doesn’t like me?” You asked.

“Don’t give me that! You two are practically best friends already.” Ashton laughed. “Now, come on, we should eat before the food’s completely cold.”

✩ ✩ ✩

[bartxnhood]

you don’t go to parties | a.f.i

ashton irwin x fem!reader

summary: ashton wonders why he keeps searching for you at parties. because after all, you don’t go to parties anymore.

warnings: drinking, swearing, just the party scene

w/c: 2.4k

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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“hey, it’s y/n. sorry, i missed your call. leave a message after the beep. bye!”

“hey, uh, it’s me, just been thinking about everything tonight and i don’t know… i just miss you so much. call me when you can. bye.”

ashton removes the phone from his ear and ends the call, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he stares at your contact photo.

you were standing on the harbour bridge with him, kissing his cheek. it was taken on his first tour, when the band was opening for one direction, and he had just asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you of course said yes. he was your best friend and the person you had fallen in love with years before.

you've been by his side since the beginning of the band till today. you helped him throughout his most difficult times, and he did the same for you. at one point you considered him your soulmate and imagined spending the rest of your life by his side.

that was, until the parties.

it wasn't horrible at first. you'd join him at a few parties here and there. it was fun at first but then things got out of hand. ashton would party practically every night, and the parties eventually moved to his house, where you also lived. and it was well into the morning before the nights ended. so, you'd just hide out in your bedroom or at a friend's house.

it was exhausting. you could never get anything done because your house was always filled with strangers. and you couldn’t talk to ashton about it because he was always hungover and told you he’d talk to you later.

eventually, it got to the point where you just couldn’t take it anymore. so, you left him.

ashton was a disaster. every night, he'd be out partying or at a bar, hoping to drown out the haunting thoughts of you.

his partying addiction had gotten worse since you left. he couldn't even remember what he done the previous week since he had been partying so hard that it was killing him.

sometimes he’d call you when he was blackout drunk, professing undying love for you and how he regrets everything. other nights, when he isn’t so drunk, he’d still call you and apologize for the drunk calls.

he was spiraling down a deep dark alley, and if he didn’t fix himself now, he’d never see the light again.

ashton didn’t know why he continued to party and drink so much. but, he continued without thinking about the consequences. even if he knew how bad he was while under the influence.

some nights were worse than others.

one night it got very out of hand.

it was nearing five in the morning and ashton had one too many like he usually does but tonight was different. he was angry. angry at himself for letting you slip from his hands, angry he treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe when instead of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

ashton sat on his sofa staring at the wall with a red solo cup in hand, occasionally looking towards the door hoping you’d walk through and come back to him. but of course, you never did, and you wouldn’t because you don’t go to parties anymore.

luke sat with his head hung, rubbing his temples. “ashton, you’ve had too much. cmon man. just go to bed and we will clean up. it’s almost five a.m”

but ashton doesn’t say anything, he just sits there and down the rest of the liquid in his cup before tossing it to the floor

“yeah, no wonder y/n left you.” ashton hears michael say under his breath which was just enough to send ashton over the edge.

now it was getting out of hand, ashton was screaming his lungs out at michael while he just stood there with his hands up, signaling he didn’t want to fight ashton.

finally luke called the one person he knew who would help. you.

“hey, y/n, i’m sorry it’s so late…well early but ash is drunk, very drunk. can you come get him? he’s causing a scene.”

"what? oh, christ. yeah, I'll be there in ten," you said as you jumped out of bed, grabbed the nearest sweater and sweatpants, and ran out of your apartment.

your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. the drive was a blur, trying to get there as quickly as possible in order to avoid another fight.

you knew most people would never do this for their ex, but you still loved him. you were still madly in love with him at the time. you listen to every message he's ever left on your phone.

your inbox was overflowing with them.

you heard every sincere confession, every drunken apology, and every sober apology.

of course, you still had feelings for him.

you never stopped.

“thank you for coming.” luke swung the door open letting you slip inside, then walked through the trashed house. “he’s in the living room” you looked through the kitchen archway to see where luke was pointing, and then you saw him.

you pushed the door open and walked across smashed cans and cups to his side. "ashton?" your voice was soft, as if you were unsure how he would react to your sudden appearance. maybe he'll lash out at you, or he'll remain mute and go away.

he raised his head, his gaze meeting yours. ashton comes to a halt from whatever nonsense he was doing, which was probably another drunken rage. was this really happening? he asks, as he stares at you in bewilderment. are you standing directly in front of him? was he dreaming?

"y/n?" he calls your name, and you question, "ash, what's going on?" and his eyes glaze over merely hearing your concern.he only blinks in response, trying to figure out the situation.

he can't believe you're at his party after swearing them off, and it's for HIM. not anywhere else but his house. he says "y/n" a few times before wrapping his arms around your stomach and tightening his grip. he couldn't let you go away again.

you just let it happen and hug him back as he sits on the sofa, saying, "hey, I'm here, it'll be okay" and attempting to calm him down. despite your best attempts, he pulls away, taking everything in.

you noticed luke about to say something, so you put your hand out to stop him, silently shaking your head.

you knew ashton was in pain, so you took him upstairs. "hey why don't we get you upstairs and into bed?" you gently held his arm, which calmed him down. he allowed you to take him upstairs and away from the party. you pull over to chat to one of the boys on the way, saying that you're going to take him to bed.

"I appreciate you calling. I'll get him settled and then return to assist you with the cleanup." you say to luke before leaving.

you help him upstairs, doing your best to keep him upright. as you led ashton to the bed, he was babbling incomprehensible words. and after completing your normal cleaning and care for him, you took a step back. anxiety and confusion consume your body. thank goodness, his luke called you.

You've read the articles about his constant parties and the drunken scenes he created. he was a mess. but it was how he was dealing with the break up. you, on the other hand, have stayed home every night, watching sad movies, weeping yourself to sleep most nights, losing your appetite, and creating excuses not to see sierra or crystal. Isolation was your only option for coping.

you begin to rub the bridge of your nose as you stand by the side of the bed, looking down at ashton, who was in and out of consciousness. your heart was beating, and you were at a loss for what to do. when ashton opens his eyes and sees this, he becomes upset once more. he’s sorry you had to go to another party for him, and he rubs his eyes before saying, "you shouldn't have come." "y’hate parties." "i had to," you say, dropping your hands. "i was worried." he could see it in your eyes that you were sincere. "you're scaring me, ash" you took a pause to attempt to calm yourself as tears began to pool in your eyes.

you try to get him to bed without confessing anything or saying anything you don't genuinely mean, knowing he's incredibly inebriated and emotional. "scaring you?" he took a deep breath as he watched you toss his shoes to the floor. "yes. you’re killing yourself. i’m not going to sit by and let you do that." maybe you were getting a little emotional right now, so you looked away to gather your thoughts and finish getting him ready for bed. if he chooses to sleep.

you left the room once he was settled for a bottle of water. he probably won't know you're gone. only luke and calum remained, clearing up the garbage from the party. they all glanced up at you, waiting for news, but you just shook your head and said nothing.

you returned, half-opening the bottle and placing it next to the bed. ashton is staring at you in awe. "you're always the one taking care of me and i never deserved it," he says. “you deserved so much better than me." you didn't let the fact that he was incredibly intoxicated and emotional get to you.

you lower your head, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. don’t let him hurt you like this, y/n. you kept thinking to yourself, he was intoxicated and didn't mean anything. you get up to leave, eager to go home and cry into your pillow about how much he misses you. he reached for your hand, carefully gripping it, and said, "stay with me." you freeze, tilt your head, and appear torn, so he adds "please? just tonight." while staring into your eyes, desperate.

so, you stayed. laying on the opposite side of ashton, you heard his breath steady assuming he was finally going to sleep. until you heard “i love you.” you had only hoped that if you were still he’d leave it alone and would just go to sleep. but he continued. “when i left that morning, i didn’t stop. i never did. you’re my whole world, and i hate the person i’ve become. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but i screwed it up.” your heart was racing, picking at your nails you felt him shuffle next to you. “you were the best thing i’ve ever had and i let you go. ‘m sorry. you can hate me. i understand.” you waited a bit, but that was the last thing he said for the night.

you ended up leaving before he woke up because it was now daylight and you didn't want to be there when he did. you stood above him before leaving, and he looked so calm. naturally, you bowed down and kissed his brow softly before exiting the room. so, you were gone by eight a.m. you had a minor breakdown on the drive home, knowing that the love is still there, and seeing him so vulnerable makes your heart ache. but you kept reminding yourself that he was drunk. he most likely didn't mean half of what he stated.

right?

you had just finished your meeting the next day and were standing in your kitchen preparing a cup of coffee when you were stopped by a rhythmic knock. you walked over leaving the cup on your counter. as you answered the door, you saw ashton.

“hey.” he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket. you stepped back, then saying “why are you here?” ashton looked around, spitting a few framed pictures of the two of you which he thought was odd. he thought you hated him. he shrugged, “i just wanted to thank you for last night, and everything.” you sighed, “come in” you stepped to the side and let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “do you want some coffee?” he sat down on the sofa.

“sure.” he answered, looking around the room. you came back with a black mug and handed it to him, and took your seat across from him.

there was a moment of silence, the two of you would steal glances at each other but didn’t want to say anything, wondering how to approach the conversation waiting to be held.

his comment was abrupt. “i meant what i said, you know.” you looked up from your coffee, to meet with his eyes already looking at you. “what?” you blinked, placing the mug on the table. “last night. everything, i meant it. from me still loving you, to wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. i meant every word.” he was being sincere, he held eye contact as he spoke and didn’t break it once.

truthfully, you didn’t know what to say. the situation wasn’t ideal, and to be honest with yourself, you knew you still loved him. “ashton..” you finally spoke, followed by a long sigh and dropping your head into your hands.

“then why do you continue to do this? you’re drinking yourself to death, ash. how can i trust that you won’t do it all over again, even if i want to work this out?” ashton stands up from his spot and moves in front of you, on his knees as he holds your hands. "i get drunk to forget the color of your eyes and the way your hair falls and how soft your skin is and the way your smile makes me feel; but it seems like the alcohol can't change my memory of you." he had been waiting to tell you this for the longest, “i do it because it’s the only way i know how to cope and i know it isn’t the best way, but it’s all i know.”

ashton runs his thumb over your knuckles. you look down at his calloused hands feeling your lip quiver “and if that isn’t enough just tell me, and i’ll leave for good.”

you shake your head letting the tears fall, “ash..i just want you to stop..all this drinking isn’t good for you, i can’t just let that happen.” you say, and he nods. “i know, i know.” he hushes your tears, raising up to hug you. “i’ll do better, i promise.” he says into your hair while wiping your tears.

“how can i trust you?” you ask

“because, i love you. and i’ll be damned if i lose you again.”

[souperbloom]

this outfit is my roman empire. my superbowl. my tour de france. my presidential election. my olympics. my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.

[starvinginbelair]

matching chokers

[wildflowerirwin]

Ashton really went from lesbian farmer to Goat Dad™️

[edge-oftheworld]

ik I rattle on about this too much but people love to assign blame when we see our faves get hurt. and im not saying romantic partners can’t cause trauma or anything like that but I genuinely think people overlook a really obvious thing we’ve seen time and again in literally every artist we listen to and we also have alluded to in lyrics like ‘a youth that was stolen and filled with mistakes’ basically all of 2011, and probably the most outright ‘I’ve been bought and sold’. guys it wasn’t the fans doing any of these things just cause we liked their music and kept them in a job or whatever, it’s the fact that the industry is a predatory capitalist machine that is at its current state no place for children, or anyone really. it’s that media outlets model the level of privacy breaches anyone in the public eye is allowed to have and GUESS WHAT? ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE AIDED BY LAWS, WHICH WE AS FANS AND THE PUBLIC HAVE A VOICE IN.

I’m not saying we can fix this overnight or it’s gonna be easy but I am saying that if enough people care about anything, someone is gonna have to listen at some point. like holy shit the amount of times we’ve seen luke in interviews just telling his story and how he’s got this experience he has to hold the gratitude and obvious trauma of concurrently and thought. he deserves so much better. they all do. so does chappell and so did the one direction guys and I could go on but my point is have I ever seen a protest or even a petition calling for privacy for artists, literally basic workers’ rights? for transparency among their team members and record labels that prevents the likes of scooter braun from ever doing anything he’s done? no. and before you say anything I don’t give a fuck how much they’re paid (which btw the way streaming services are now isn’t as glamorous as it used to be. soon this may end up being a middle class job and that’s fine as long as they have basic human rights, which they don’t). but anyway we can change that

[riya-kaur]

michael gordon clifford.

summary: michael being pampered with love on his birthday

birthday boy.

"wakey wakey, birthday boy!"

you take light footsteps into your bedroom, watching your boyfriend stir in your bed as he taps beside him, hoping to find you laid there.

"over here" you giggle as you stand beside the bed, hovering over him as you hold a wooden tray in your hands.

"good morning" you coo as you watch him sit up on the bed, his back against the head rest. he lets out a yawn as his hands reach up to his eyes, rubbing them open.

"happy birthday, my love" you smile, settling the tray onto his lap.

on the tray displayed: a card, a cup of coffee, a stack of pancakes - which were drenched in butter and maple syrup.

"c'mere" he glows as he reaches for your hand, tugging it lightly. you giggle before walking over to the other side of the bed, slipping back under the duvet and cuddling into his side.

"thank you, baby," he smiles before leaving a kiss on your head. you wrap your arms around his bicep as he goes to pick up his cutlery. "want to share?" he asks. "please" you grin, batting your eyelashes as him.

he cuts a piece before feeding it to you. his fingers soon come up to your lips, wiping up the syrup that had spilt from your mouth. he licks his finger clean before cutting a piece off for himself.

"these are fucking delicious, baby" he lowers his lips on yours, placing a lingering kiss. your hand rises to his cheek, as he deepens the kiss.

the taste of the maple and butter can be sensed from our tongues, as they move together.

you pull away slowly before setting your forehead against michael's. you let your hand stay cupped on his cheek. with placing one more kiss to his nose, you drop your hand back around his arm.

after the breakfast in bed, the both of you had changed into your day outfits, getting ready for the day ahead.

holding michael's hand, you lead him downstairs to the little display you had made earlier on in the morning.

twenty-eight balloons hung from the ceiling, each one tied with photos of michael, some with you, his bandmates, his family, and with the dogs. as well as that stood an illuminated, neon '28' sign. besides that on the kitchen counter sat his birthday cake and an overflowing basket of presents.

"you can open your eyes now, baby," you squeal, waiting for michael's reaction.

you watch as micheal's eyes widen as he takes in everything.

"you're amazing," he coos as he presses his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around your front.

you tilt your head to the side, leaving behind a kiss on michael's jaw. "i want you to see this" you leap forward to the balloons, showing michael the pictures that hung on the ballons.

michael's lips turn to an upward smile as he shuffles through the ballons, scanning the pictures. "this one's my favourite." you look over at him, his lips now turned into a smirk as he holds up a picture.

you walk over to him before looking at the picture, a giggle escapes your lips as you look up to your boyfriend.

it was a picture of you both in bali, laid in the white sheets of the bed, the duvet was half thrown over, michael's head was resting on your stomach as he hugged your lower half whilst you laid there in a set that matched the color of the sheets, your arms stretched out in front of you as you took the picture off.

"we have to go back there one day" you smile as the memories of the trip come flooding in. you rise on your tiptoes as you let your arms fall around his neck. his hands fall around your waist as you both stand there in silence.

you peer over michael's shoulder, your eyes falling onto your apple watch, you scrolled through, and went on your voice memos, you clicked play on the most recent recording and it started playing through the speakers.

you feel michael smile against your shoulder. biting back a smile, you pull your head back slightly, michael's head turns to you. he places a kiss on your forehead.

the recording that was playing over you both was the first draft of 'bali', the song michael had written, and the song that held a special place in both your hearts.

michael swayed you in his arms as his eyes fell close, yours doing the shame.

"we'll definitely go back" he hums as he hides his face, nuzzling into your neck.

the two of you sway in each other's embrace for a short while before you remembered that michael still hadn't opened up his presents.

so the two of you were now sitting on the couch, michael was opening up his present, and you watched as he was doing so.

"thank you, baby, i loved everything" he beams as he reaches out for you, gently sliding you over to his side. "you're welcome" you smile placing a kiss to the side of his neck. "i do have one more suprise, it's just a small one," you beam before you take your phone out of your pocket.

michael watches you as you pull up to your messages app, pulling up calum's contact.

the last message he had sent was a video attachment. you clicked on it and turned to michael, shuffling closer to him. you stretched your arms out in front of you both before clicking play.

as the video starts, you can feel michael already smiling, a small giggle leaving his lips as he watches his four best friends lined up on a couch.

"happy birthday, mike!" the four of them say collectively. each one of them have around thirty seconds to give a happy birthday message to michael, some of them reminiscent of the past- bring up their shared memories.

and at the end, they finish off with their 'i love you's'

you looked over at michael, who was grinning like a chesire cat.

"you've outdone yourself, this time" michael beams. he pulls you on his laps, your legs now straddled around him.

"i love you, michael."

"i love you too, baby, so much." he places a kiss on your lips. "thank you for everything," he finishes off.

"you deserve it"

happy birthday to michael!

↪ wanted to get this out earlier :/

[gothluke]

this energy forever 🪩🤍🩶

[confusionmeisss]

luke hemmings just sounds absolutely ethereal when he sings & writes , like i don’t think u understand how much i love his voice & writing style.

[talkfastromance4]

Slow motion—Ashton blurb

Warnings: mentions of being high, consuming a gummy, high sex, some fluff and giggles

Word count: 724

Feedback is welcome!

••••

It’s slow building at first. The gummy bear torn in half was slow acting and you first felt it in your head, a certain type of weightlessness. The warm glow of his salt lamp paints him in warm fuzziness and it makes you giggle then you touch your lips.

“What’s wrong?”Ashton squints at you.

“My lips are fuzzy…” you probe them with your fingers. “Like caterpillars.” You gasp. “They’re gonna turn into butterflies and leave!”

“No they won’t, I won’t allow it,” he giggles then moves his fingers forward. They tangle with yours, grazing your parted lips. “Never let these lips go.”

“You better catch ‘em quick.”

And now it’s in slow motion.

You and Ashton meeting in the middle of your conversation pit, lips colliding, fingers threading through hair. And then you’re falling in slow motion, down and back onto the fluffy pillows and comforters. The words of Bob Dylan play overhead, sweeping in and out of your ears. 

Then Ashton is tracing the ladder of your ribs with the length of his fingers. You’re tugging his tank top up and over his muscles leaving his hair fluffed. He traces your lips delicately. You feel each caress.

“You are soft,” he whispers. 

“Are your lips soft and fuzzy, too?”

“Kiss me and find out,” he grins.

It’s slow motion with lips touching lips. His hands are under your shirt again, inching higher and higher until your shirt rolls over your breasts. You rise up gently letting him remove it. Soft palms on your breasts. 

“These are soft, too,” he mumbles. Silken lips trace your neck. Your fingers undo the drawstring of his sweatpants and then you’re skin to skin. 

Bob Dylan transferred to The Weeknd. Ashton’s lips leaving a heated trail down your body. He’s glowing in amber light and he’s rolling your pants down your legs. Hot lips on warm legs, the tips of his hair tickling your knees. Warm lips on lips. 

“All of you is soft, too,” you whisper on his jaw.

Bodies begin to rock and sway. You’re weightless and weighted beneath him. As you connect in hushed whispers you’re ascending. You’re moaning in his ear and his ankle brushes your foot. Fuzziness fills your body and when you laugh it’s like bubbles in his ear. 

“What’s funny?” he smiles, nose bumping yours. 

“Now my feet are fuzzy,” you can’t stop giggling. His hips snap against yours in the perfect way and you moan. You nibble on his ear. His pulls and thrusts elicit intense points of pleasure. 

“You’re silly,” he laces his fingers with yours. Lips brush your ear. “My silly girl.”

Your lovemaking is slow and meticulous, every neuron is fired up. Your head feels fluffy. Your body floating. Ashton is everywhere and anywhere. 

“Love you,” you sigh.

“Love you more.”

Giggles happen with kisses as you ride the rollercoaster of consistent pleasure. It’s exhilarating and relaxing. You tap his side and he rolls over leaving you on top. His hands help guide your hips up and down. Each pull is pulling you tighter and pulling you apart at the same time.

His fingertips graze and squeeze over your skin. His mouth sucks on the soft skin of your neck and then it’s silky against your tongue. Breath to breath you fall apart but Ashton keeps you upright with the motion of his hips until he’s spent as well.

You’re warm and sticky and fuzzy with gooey thoughts and a blissed out smile. He tilts your face up, his fingertips brushing your lips. Your body rises and falls with his breathing, music notes soak over your pores.

“That was a dream,” he says.

“Let’s never wake up,” you shake your head and kiss the pad of his finger. “Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m hungry, can we make popcorn?”

You’ve got on a long tank top and you’re leaning on his counter as you watch the popcorn rotate in the microwave. You’re humming a song to yourself and Ashton rests his hands on your hips.

“What song is that?”

“You don’t know?” 

“Sing a bit for me,” he kisses the top of your bare shoulder.

“My life’s just a carousel spinnin around poppin some corn.”

You both double over in laughter falling to the floor as the popcorn burns above you. It’s still the best popcorn you’ve ever had.

Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran  @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower​ @mymindwide​ @itjustkindahappenedreally  @seanna313 @pandaxnienke @celestialams @in-a-world-of-fandoms @blairscott @writersdare

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash via Perola Navarro's IG Story

[irwinsblender]

inner demons

a/n: i’ve written this over the span of a few weeks bc my mental health has been down the drain recently and i needed an outlet. i wasn’t sure about uploading this, but here it is anyway

also used these pictures of ashton bc that’s how i imagine he’d look when listening to you rant about how you’re feeling

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: your mental health has been getting worse again and ashton is there to try and help you through it

warnings: depression, self harm, reference to suicide - and please, if you find any of these triggering, don’t read this fic

word count: 3k

✩ ✩ ✩

winter was one of the worst times of year for you. specifically, for your mental health. the dreary, rainy and cloudy weather, days becoming dark hours earlier than in the summer was always hard on you.

your mental health was bad already. you’d been suffering with depression for quite a long time now. it first started at school when you couldn’t deal with exams along with certain horrible people in your classes, that seemed to linger for a few years after you graduated.

just when you thought things were getting better, the pandemic hit, causing you to relapse and become worse than before. you didn’t know how to deal with all of the terrible thoughts that were constantly going around your head, including thoughts telling you to hurt yourself.

and you did, you turned to that to help you cope with feeling so exhausted. in the end, it didn’t really help. but you had nothing else to help you.

until you met ashton irwin. your now boyfriend.

you’d never met anyone as caring as him. he always listened to anything you had to say, he was there for you when you needed to rant; most of all, he didn’t leave after you told him about your struggles.

in fact, he empathised with you. telling you about his struggles and ways he tried to get through them. he promised then and there that he would always be there to support you and would never judge you for any of your thoughts or emotions.

you always appreciated ashton, but you found it hard to tell him when you were beginning to struggle more again. you felt pathetic not being able to cope on your own, you felt like a burden in his life every time you had to involve him in your problems.

this was one of those times.

it had been a long day, or at least it felt like it had been. it was raining all day, something you hated. you hadn’t been able to get out of bed, you hadn’t eaten, only had a drink of water which ashton brought to you before he left the house earlier in the day.

you’d been sitting in the bathroom for the past hour with the door locked. you’d told ashton you were going to have a shower, but, you never got that far. ashton would’ve noticed that the noise of the shower never started, but he’s always been respectful to leave you to whatever you need to do.

it was different this time though. it was too quiet. he was sat in the living room, planning on cooking you both a nice dinner. however, you’d been acting different today. you’d been quiet, not as cheerful as usual when he arrived home from being elsewhere.

you were sat on the closed toilet, leaning against the counter as tears fell down your face. deciding if you were going to do what your mind had been telling you to do. you didn’t want to hurt yourself again, but what choice did you have? nothing else helped. it was practically staring you in the face from where you’d placed the sharp object on the counter.

you looked down at your arms, marks from a couple of weeks ago that were starting to heal properly. marks you hadn’t told ashton about. ashton knew you struggled more at this time of year; he’d been busy recently with work, he hadn’t had time to notice things going even more downhill.

while you were contemplating your choices, ashton had been making his way upstairs. he decided that maybe you needed some company with showering. you told him previously that you find it comforting showering together, so that’s what he’d do.

he entered the bedroom, still hearing no movement. he tried to go into the bathroom, met with the door not budging. just the handle twisting. he couldn’t open the door. you’d locked it.

“sweetheart?” he called out, sudden worry washing over him. “you okay in there?”

you’d jumped at the sound of him trying to open the door, you don’t usually lock it, but it was necessary this time. you didn’t answer him, trying to muffle your cries.

“baby? please answer me,” you could hear the frustration and fear in his tone. “i’m here for you, i’m not going anywhere.”

“i’m fine, ash,” you sniffled. “just leave me alone.”

it came out harsher than you meant it to. your emotions playing a part. you never ask him to leave you alone. that only happened when you were in this kind of situation.

“i’m not leaving,” ashton replied. “talk to me, please, i’m here, whatever you need.”

you let out an accidental loud cry, placing your head in your hands as you couldn’t hold back your cries any longer. you were in so much pain it was hard to handle.

ashton’s heart broke hearing the way you were crying. why hadn’t he noticed you weren’t as happy as normal, why hadn’t he noticed your depression taking a toll again. he should’ve noticed.

“can you open the door, baby?” he asked, trying his luck before he’d have to figure something else out.

“no,” you said with a gasp, your crying almost uncontrollable as you moved to pick the object up from the counter.

your shaky hands weren’t helping, causing you to drop it, making a clanging noise as it hit the floor. you knew ashton would’ve heard it, he would’ve put two and two together. you couldn’t pick it up, crying even harder.

ashton was going through his nightstand already, trying to find the outside key for the bathroom door. he was panicking by now, frantically trying to find it, worried when he didn’t come upon it instantly. until, a light caught his eye on the dresser.

the light reflecting on the key, he quickly picked it up, going back to the bathroom door. he slid the key into the lock, twisting it two times until he heard it click.

he pushed it open, causing you to quickly try and turn away, rushing to pull the sleeves of your hoodie down before he could see anything. you wiped your eyes on your sleeves instead, only glancing over to him for a second.

ashton looked to you first, he couldn’t miss the way you pulled at your sleeves, he looked to the ground, seeing the razor there, but it was clean which gave him slight relief.

he moved it out of the way, walking to you slowly, crouching down beside you. he placed one hand on your knee, caressing his thumb back and fourth, the other on your waist.

“i’m here, baby, i’m here now,” he tried to reassure. “what do you need?”

you shook your head, you couldn’t even look at him. you felt pathetic, like a disgrace. you couldn’t look your own boyfriend in the eye because you were embarrassed about how badly you were handling things.

ashton saw the expression on your face, it was too familiar. the same a couple of years ago, when you were struggling, when you had been harming yourself. he knew what was going on now.

“it’s okay if you’re not doing okay, love,” he said, cupping your cheek in one of his hands, wiping away your tears.

“i’m fine,” you bluntly responded. “i’m always fine, everything is always just fine.”

your hurt started turning into slight anger. angry with yourself, angry with the way you kept going around in circles with your mental health. you got a little better, and then things always became worse. it’s the same thing over and over and over.

“baby—“

“just leave me alone,” you folded your arms, pushing his hands away from you. not thinking straight with the other thoughts clouding your mind.

“i don’t want you to be alone,” ashton softly replied, trying to keep calm in this situation. “you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“i’m handling it,” you tried to get a subtle look behind ashton, trying to find where the razor was. if you could just get him to leave—

“angel,” he got your attention. knowing that nickname would stop you from whatever else you’re thinking about. “you know it’s okay if you aren’t doing good, this isn’t something that will instantly go away, there are ups and downs and that’s okay. wherever you’re at now, i’m here to help you through it.”

you cried harder at that. everything was hurting. you were exhausted with life. you didn’t want to keep living like this.

“i’m sorry,” you cried, holding your hands over your face. “i’m so sorry.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay, why are you sorry?” ashton asked, standing himself up as he took your hands in his.

“i— i did it again,” you blubbered. taking a breath to try and control your crying. ashton didn’t know what you were talking about. “i know i said i’d talk to you if i felt that bad again, but i just— i couldn’t bring myself to tell you.”

then it clicked. he knew what you meant. locking yourself in the bathroom, the razor you’d dropped on the floor. you’d been self harming again.

“you don’t have to apologise for that, baby,” he sighed. “it’s not something easy to talk about, please don’t feel like you need to say sorry to me.”

you were quiet after he said that. trying not to keep crying the way you were while also trying to figure out what to say next. his hands were still in yours, not planning on letting go any time soon.

“i thought things were getting better,” you complained honestly. “i was happy travelling with you the last two months, and as soon as we got home everything started crashing down on me.”

“being on tour was a big distraction for you, a new city every night, seeing places you’ve never been before, you didn’t have time to think about anything else,” ashton reminded. “now we’re home, there’s days where we have nothing going on, it gives your mind time to overthink and for those bad thoughts to come back.”

you didn’t say anything after that, ashton could tell it wasn’t helping with you sitting in the bathroom, the razor behind him on the floor. he pulled at your hands softly, urging you to stand with him. thankfully you did, walking with him as he lead you through to the bedroom. he took you over to the bed, only letting go of your hands so he could sit back against the headboard.

“come here, love,” he held one arm out, waiting for you to get comfortable.

you sat down, shuffling over to him. your head resting against his shoulder, his arm around you to keep you close. he pressed a delicate kiss to your cheek, causing you to look up at him.

“i don’t know what to do,” you suddenly spoke. ashton allowing you to get your thoughts out. “this feels never ending, it feels like there’s no way out apart from—“

“baby,” he cut you off before you could finish your sentence. he knew what you were going to say, but he didn’t want to hear it come out of your mouth. “i know it’s hard, and i hate that you’re feeling like this again. you deserve so much happiness and i wish there was more i could do to take your pain away.”

“it hurts, ash,” you started to cry again, tears dropping down your cheeks continuously. “everything hurts so bad.”

he pulled you tighter against his chest, one hand on the back of your head, slowly running through your hair. he pressed soft kisses to your forehead every few moments, trying to let you know how much he loved you and that he was right there with you through this.

as your crying started to calm down, ashton took one of your hands in his, stretching out your arm slightly. you looked up at him, wondering what he was doing.

“can i see?” he asked.

you weren’t sure at first, but eventually nodded your head. he gently pulled up your sleeve, each mark, scar and any new cuts revealing themselves to him. you sighed seeing the upset look on his face.

“they’re horrible,” you sniffled. tugging your arm away from him. “i’m sorry.”

“they aren’t horrible, baby,” ashton held your hand. he ran his thumb over a couple of old scars, then he lifted your arm up, pressing kisses along the length of it. “they show strength. it shows you’ve been strong enough to fight to stay in this world.”

you didn’t know how he could see it like that. in your own head, it showed how weak you were, how bad you were at coping with life.

“you’re the strongest person i know,” ashton continued, pulling your sleeve back down as he kept your hand in his. “it takes strength to admit you aren’t doing good, so i’m proud of you for telling me.”

“i don’t know what to do, ash,” you slouched further into his grip, cheek pressed against his chest. “nothing’s getting better, i don’t know what to do to get better. this cycle is becoming too much to deal with.”

ashton could’ve cried hearing you say that. knowing the person he loved is feeling so defeated broke his heart. he would do anything it takes to make you feel better, to try and help you.

“i’m here for you, baby,” he stroked his hand softly through your hair. “anything you need me to do, just say the word, i promise i will always be here for you.”

“i don’t know what else will help,” you sniffled. “therapy didn’t work, the meds made me feel worse, there’s nothing else. i have nothing else.”

“you have me,” ashton cupped your cheek in his hand, lifting your head to look at him. “if you want me to listen, if you need advice, if you want me to distract you, or if you just want me to hold you while you cry, i'll be here. no matter what.”

he leaned down, kissing your forehead before pecking your lips a few times in a row. finally getting a small smile out of you. if he could see your smile every day, his life would be complete. that’s all he wanted. for you to be happy.

“i’m sorry for being like this again,” you sighed. not holding eye contact. “i don’t know how you put up with me.”

“i’m not putting up with this,” ashton shook his head. “i care about you, more than anything, i’ll do whatever it takes to make this a little easier for you to get through, because you can get through it.”

you shuffle down, your head resting on his stomach as you close your eyes. tired out from the chaos of your own mind.

“we could take a few trips,” ashton suggested. “you love travelling. i know you still have that list of places you want to visit.”

“i do, but…” you paused, opening your eyes as you squeezed ashton’s hand in yours. “what happens when we come home? i’ll just be like this again.”

“we’ll try and find other things for you to enjoy,” ashton was determined to stay positive in this situation. “you love to draw, you love to create art, and i’ve seen the way you watch me play the drums and guitar. i could teach you, give you something else to put your mind to.”

you thought for a moment, wiping your sleeves over your eyes one last time. you couldn’t believe ashton still wanted to bother with trying after how difficult and negative you always were in this situation.

“okay,” you mumbled. ashton was surprised to hear that you’ll do this. “i don’t know if it’ll help, but i’ll try.”

“that’s a start,” ashton smiled. “the best thing you can do is try. even if it takes time.”

you nodded. finally looking up at him. you shuffled yourself upwards, capturing his lips in a unexpected but loving kiss. placing your hand on his cheek softly as you pull away.

“how would you feel about getting a guitar?” he asked, hands on your waist pulling you to straddle him. “i know how much you love painting, we could buy some paint for it so you can make it your own.”

“i could paint little flowers on it,” you excitedly suggested. “and maybe some butterflies too, that would look pretty.”

ashton nodded in agreement, just happy that you were willing to do this to see if it’ll help having your mind preoccupied with something like learning how to play an instrument. he hoped this would help, hating seeing you hurting like this.

“well, the band has no plans on making new music just yet,” ashton tucked your hair behind your ears. “we could take a trip soon… italy maybe?”

“really? you want go to italy before going back to australia?” you asked, one of your bucket list places, knowing how much he wanted to head back to australia after tour ended.

“australia can wait, i want to make sure you’re okay first.”

you let out a long breath, leaning towards him to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms around your back as he hugged you as close to him as he could get you. he kissed your cheek, making sure you knew he would always be there for moments like this.

“i love you,” he said quietly. “remember i’ll always be here, for anything you need. you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“i don’t know what i’d do without you,” you held him tighter. “i love you, ash.”

a few more tears threatened to leave your eyes as you hugged. you truly didn’t think you’d be here anymore if ashton hadn’t come into your life when he did. and now he can be your anchor that grounds you and gives you a reason to try and live this life, no matter how tough it might be.

✩ ✩ ✩

taglist: @hexsdexs @conspiracy-ash @oliviah-25 @superbloomrry | if you would like to join my taglist, please comment here or see this post

[completemessash]

Make you feel better (a.i.)

notes: this is my first post, yayyyy. feedback, reblogs and comment are greatly appreciated! also follow me for more and requests are open! ❤️

Warnings: boyfriend Ashton, established relationship, blowjob, swallowing, hair pulling, dirty talk, Ashton x reader

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Ashton's eyes were half closed as he stared at the ceiling. He had been working on new songs the past days, almost non stop and he was visibly exhausted.

You had offered him his favourite drink, to watch his favourite show with him and asked what he wanted to eat.

He had only replied with a shake of his head or a grunting sound that said no.

But you wanted to make him feel good, he deserved to feel better, he deserved everything.

"Ash?", you tried again, reaching out to brush your knuckles over his thigh.

His eyes slipped closed but he once again didn't say anything.

"Let me make you feel better", you whispered and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Finally, his tired eyes met yours. "You don't have to do anything, baby. I'm just being a little dramatic."

You shook your head no immediately.

"You worked all week, babe"

"S just music"

"Which doesn't mean it can't be exhausting"

He bit his lip at that. He knew you were right but often he felt like he shouldn't complain about hos job when you worked a hard 9 to 5 job and he got to tour the world and write music.

"Okay?", you asked for reassurance and he smiled. He tried to hold it back by biting his lip once more but he couldn't hide his excitement from you.

"A little something would be nice, I can't deny that", he said coyly.

That was all you needed to slip off the couch and between his already willingly spread thighs.

Your nimble fingers opened his fly, tugging of his pants with your help and letting his underwear follow. He was only half hard but that would be changed soon.

"Babe", he murmured when you didn't start with what you both knew he wanted and instead kissed his hips, slightly biting the soft skin and occasionally 'accidentally' letting his cock brush your jaw or cheek.

His soft curved lips escaped a small gasp when you finally took his tip into your mouth. You made sure to keep your teeth hidden and your tongue dipping into his slit, while your left hand stroked his cock to full hardness.

"Y/N", he moaned your name when you leaned down further and took him into your mouth as far as you could. A pinch to his thigh indicated what you wanted him to do: use you.

"Fuck, fuck", he groaned when his hands grabbed onto your hair and pushed you down until your nose was just barely touching his pelvis. You were choking and struggling to keep breathing but it was okay. He needed this and you wanted to give him everything he wanted even if it meant you were going to die from it. Of course you weren't gonna die and he wouldn't let that happen but you knew that you would do it for him. And he would do the same for you.

An almost high pitched moan pulled you from your thoughts and brought you back to reality. Ashton was thrusting his hips up from the couch, fucking your mouth slowly with his hands still gripping your hair. But you wanted him to moan louder than those small sounds and his hands to be restlessly pulling while his hips stuttered.

So you increased your pace and soon he was following your wish.

"Y/N, fuck", he groaned as his hips gained speed and you felt tears brim your eyes, "You suck my dick so fucking good - love - love when you're such a g - good girl for me"

You let out an appreciative moan that made Ashton throw his head back on the couch, hips thrusting up even more and you had to sig your nails into his thighs to stop the urge to pull off. He was so far down your throat, you couldn't even imagine how sinful the outline of his big hard cock in your cheeks must have looked.

"I'm about to-", he warned you in case you wanted to pull of but you just moaned again and bobbed your head against his thrusts. He noticed the way you couldn't help but spread your own thighs, rolling your hips towards the floor to have it rub over your center but he didn't comment on it. You both knew he was going to do that later and you were already excited for the taunting way he would speak about you having to get yourself off because sucking him off made you so wet.

For now, you were both concentrated on Ashton's hard cock that was starting to twitch lightly in your mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, ah", he moaned louder than before and the same moment he pulled your hair so hard it stung just a little more than you were comfortable with, he cock was spurting into your mouth.

Hot cum was hitting the back of your throat and through watery eyes you watched his eyes squeeze shut and his mouth hang wide open. He was so hot when he was like this and even though you were well aware that you weren't the first one to see him like this, he had promised you often enough that he wanted you to be the last. He was made for you and he wanted you to keep him.

"Show me", his voice was raspy when he asked you, his softening dick resting on his hip.

You obeyed him, all to eager to be that good girl he had called you, and opened your mouth for him.

His fingers danced over your jaw as he hummed like he was considering whether he liked you showing him his cum that was slowly starting tö drip out one of the corners of your mouth so he had to push it back in with his fingers.

He loved it, you both knew that, it made him feel like you belonged to him.

"Good girl, baby", he finally approved and you smiled, then swallowed the sticky mess. For some reason you always loved the taste of it even though to most people cum was disgusting. Maybe it was just him and his tasted good. Too bad that no one else would ever taste it, you thought cockily.

"How do you feel?", you asked when you got off your knees, helping him back into his pants and cuddling into his side. Partly to make sure he wasn't going to get up and go right back to recording music.

"Good", he smiled and pressed a kiss to your swollen lips, "but shouldn't I be asking you that?"

You shrugged. "This was about you, Ash, just for you. Just wanted to make you feel better"

"I'm always better when you're with me"

He laughed when you called him a sap and hit his chest.

Later on, when he asked to repay the favor and you said he didn't have to but he was insisting because getting you off gave him just as much pleasure as you getting him off, you weren't calling him that anymore.

[mischiefbuckley]

happy 2 years of 5SOS5!!! I love this album so much and it has one of my favorite 5sos songs of all time red line on it so it just makes me love the album even more