#Ashlyn angst

[pauleentology]

lets talk about...

Ashlyn Banner 💚

Ashlyn Banner's character isn't limited to a typical antisocial introvert who hates people. She's so much more than that. She, like everyone else in the SBG group, has trauma and pain of her own, that wasn't brought about by the phantom realm.

Let's firstly talk about her introversion. Ashlyn has built walls and defenses around herself that have gotten so high nobody even dared to climb them. She didn't do this just because she didn't like people and having to interact with them, because deep down, she takes shame in her sensitivity. Her tinnitus and hyperacusis aren't just physical conditions for her, but a reminder of her fragility. The world is a cacophony of sounds that continue to overwhelm her senses, highlighting her internal chaos. She longs for peace but finds herself in an endless battle against the very sounds of life. She didn't want people to portray her as weak or sensitive, so she's built this entire cold front to distract everybody from the fact that she's just like everybody else. The irony in that though is that her very defenses end up pushing away the people that might understand her pain.

She's a clueless, troubled, socially-deprived teenager. It's only natural we expect her to not know what to say every time she speaks with someone, which sometimes ends up in her just blurting out whatever comes to her mind, often having her come off as abrasive and painfully straightforward. But she never means to be rude, she just doesn't know how to sugarcoat her words or soften her sharp tongue.

Despite her introversion, Ashlyn is more than capable of asserting herself when needed, and her bluntness is merely a defense mechanism for her to navigate her complex emotions even she herself doesn't completely understand. She's unfamiliar to the social construct of friendship, and avoids it as much as she can.

So when Ben and Aiden come into her life all the sudden, she's prompted to confront her fears of social interaction. After getting entangled in the supernatural events of the phantom realm with the others, she began to slowly soften and get attached to them, eventually trusting them with her life, and they begin to trust her with theirs. This puts her under the impression that she's responsible for their safety, and is obligated to protect them. She takes the lead, and protects them all with her life, just like she would her family.

Everytime they were together, she always felt some underlying guilt for their predicament. She always felt responsible in some way, and she vowed to take the lead from there. If she felt responsible, she thought it best she would take responsibility, and be the reason they were safe. She was the only one who didn't understand that she was allowed to show them her own vulnerabilities and hurt. She thought nobody else would understand if she just broke down into tears, that everybody expected her to be perfect as the leader. If there was anything she was scared to death of, it would be fucking everything up.

Her guilt that was already eating her up inside only got worse when Tyler died. She hated seeing her friends like that, seeing Taylor absolutely inconsolable for Tyler's state in the hospital, to see everybody else worried and shaking, she thought everybody blamed her, and even she blamed herself. To think that if she'd just taken a safer route, or driven a bit more carefully, or if she'd just listened to Taylor's pleas, none of this would've happened. She saw everything as her fault. If she had just been better, Tyler wouldn't have died.

Imagine how strong she must've been to be the one to get Tyler off that tree that night. To inject into him the sedative, having to use all her strength to stop herself from trembling in those moments— the slightest slip-up could compromise any chance they had of saving Tyler.

In the hospital, all she needed was comfort, which Aiden unexpectedly provided her. It wasn't meant as a romantic act, it was just basic human decency. A tap on the hand and the light squeeze of her palm was enough to break her. She never expected that of Aiden, and Aiden never expected that of himself. They only reacted like that because— well, what could you expect from two clueless teenagers? Their development is amazing excluding romantic interests, and they aged beautifully as characters.

Having to drag Aiden's limp body to safety at the school, after witnessing him die just after Tyler did— all under her care, that was already too much to bear. Seeing Aiden look like that just before waking back up to his seizing body, she was completely frozen. Overwhelmed. If she had just reacted faster, or had kept them closer, maybe she would've been able to save Aiden in time. But no. She fucked up, again, and the guilt she felt for it crushed her. If she had just been better, none of this would have happened.

She always felt responsible for their safety, and always blamed herself for things even she had no control over. She thought everybody expected the best of her at all times, and she'd be letting them down if she were to just cry or crumble where she stood. She's a character who'd choose to go back to the past and fix all her mistakes. The new her wouldn't have traded them for the world, and if she were given the chance to go back, she wouldn't even dare to change being friends with them, she'd just keep them even closer, and make sure none of those bad things happened again. She would do it all again if it meant they'd be safer.

[rot-decay-erosion]

SBG FAST PASS SLIGHT SPOILERS

I better see ash and Ben in next episode.

NEED MY BABIES BACK

And angst. I saw that one post about Ash coughing up phantom/black blood and I need it so bad.

GIVE ME MY DESERVED ANGST IM BEGGING IMMCRUIFN

[aidlyncanon]

whatever you do dont imagine Ben Clark going through his camera roll just to find an old video his mom took of him singing not knowing it would be the last time he sang.

dont imagine Ben hearing his damaged voice for the very first time. the disgust and hate he felt when the broken words hit his ears.

you dont want to imagine Aiden Clark wondering when his parents would come home and actually pay attention to him.

dont imagine him watching his cousins with their parents wondering what it would be like to have such one on one attention without them having to deal with work.

and definitely dont imagine Ashlyn Banner all alone in the containment facility stressing about Aiden and Tylers states.

dont imagine her growing up with no friendly company, nothing but the noises that only she can hear

dont event consider imagining Tyler Hernandez being completely alone while bleeding out for multiple? nights unable to do anything other than sit in his own blood.

dont imagine him wondering if this feeling of impending doom was what his dad felt in his final moments.

and absolutely dont imagine Taylor Hernandez during the car ride to the hospital.

dont imagine her being inconsolable, unaware if her brother would wake up or if she would once again be leaving the hospital without her loved one.

dont imagine Logan Fields going home after Barron physically harmed him for the first time. Seeing his grandparents and knowing he cant tell them.

dont imagine him laying in bed wondering what was wrong with himself, wondering what he had done, what mistake he did to make Barron so angry when all he wanted to do was be nice

[spidercoris]

in another universe, the phantom managed to grab ashlyn’s braid and drag her back into the room. sure, there’s a possibility the others could’ve gotten in and saved her BUT there’s also a chance they just.. left her behind to die.

another possibility is that what if they hadn’t closed the door in time? what if ben didn’t slam it shut when the phantom was about to open it?

what if aiden and ashlyn didn’t have the ties on their pants and they had nothing to hold the door closed when the others ran? they probably didn’t survive in some other reality.

in another universe the cart wasn’t there and ashlyn wouldn’t have been able to slam the phantom into the wall. it would’ve caught up to them.

AUGHHHHH I COULD MAKE SO MANY SCENARIOS

[brainrot-goes-brrrrrr]

Have a taylyn animatic in these trying times

This took so long

[the-mighty-e]

Just saying

But the memory sequence was absolutely beautiful

The memories slowly rising faster until they all become overlayed

Romantic or platonic I love Aiden and Ashlyn an unhealthy amount they're so precious

[corpseidol]

for the taylyn, benlor, and aidlyn shippers:

internalized homophobia taylor and ashlyn where they both deny their feelings for each other and when they’re all grown up, taylor is marrying ben and ash is marrying aiden!! hahahah

I HATE HAPPY SAPPHICS

BURN THEM!!!!

[tragedry]

the SBG kids as the mincing mockingbirds:

Aiden:

Ashlyn:

Tyler:

Logan:

Taylor:

Ben:

The kids after their trip to Savannah:

[hereforbothimg]

I am VERY proud of this.

EPIC>>>

[mishoarts]

My child-

[pauleentology]

this panel is actually so cute oms

mike is absolutely confused, ashlyn is just unfazed, aiden and taylor switching from aggressive to passive mode, ben still holding them like a dog mom holding her puppies by their scruffs, tyler's sitting there processing, and whatever is going on with logan i can't quite place it i think bro discovered a new emotion

i love this webtoon sm omgosh it actually hurts

[piigeonss]

What’s the point?

How long has it been already? Weeks? Months? Maybe years? Does it matter? What’s the point of counting time anyway. What’s the point of going to school, to ballet recitals, hell, even out of her room to eat and shower?

What’s the point of sitting in the bus if Aiden wasn’t annoying her with his bizarre adventures. What’s the point of brushing her hair if Ben wasn’t offering to braid it. What’s the point of looking at the night sky if Logan wasn’t explaining every constellation and its meaning. What’s the point of doing anything about the broken coffee machine if Taylor would’ve gladly helped and struck up a conversation that ended up in everyone meeting up. What’s the point of listening to music if Tyler wasn’t trying to learn and teach it on the guitar the next day.

What’s the point of living in her house if her parents aren’t there? What’s the point of falling asleep and waking up if it wasn’t to hundreds of worried messaged, and occasionally bad memes, in the groupchat. What’s the point of boardgames if Aiden and Tyler weren’t there to take it too seriously and fight over it. What’s the point of goingto the grocery store if it didn’t end up with being stuck in carts and buying too much junk food. What’s the point of watching movies if it wasn’t all together.

What’s the point of her if she couldn’t save anyone. What’s the point if she didn’t accomplish anything. What’s the point if she was the last one left

What’s the point

——————————————————————————

Based on my theory here

(basically if Ashlyn was the only one who got out)

[womp-womp-waa]

He doesn't look right.

The group have been in the facility for a while (Aiden lost count of the days) and today was the first day he got to see his reflection. Immediately regret and disgust as he stares at himself. His hair is wrong. It doesn't look like him, that's not Aiden. Aiden dosen't have sad black hair, no he has fun happy blonde hair. He isn't sad anymore and he needs his hair to match it. This isn't him. After a couple minutes of staring, he raises his fist. That's not him, why should he have something that reminds him of his imperfections. Who would want that. Without a second thought he hits the mirror. Pain radiates from his hand, but he doesn't care. It was gone, he's not the person he used to be. He didn't have black hair anymore, he's changed. Right?

[niredsw]

The only reason Ashlyn accepted to interact with the infected was because she felt guilty. She thought it was all her fault, Tyler and Aiden dying, Logan getting hurt, the gang starting to turn into phantoms… She thought it was all her fault. They ended up in this terrible nightmare only because of her. She never showed but ever since Tyler said it was her fault that they ended up there, she believed it. Every. Single. Word.

When she got hurt by that phantom on the ceiling, she felt guilty and selfish for getting hurt, that meant she would be a problem, a burden to them until they got to the graveyard again. She felt terrible when Tyler flew out of the car and died, just because she didn't turn back to save him. She should have heard the ceiling collapse before everyone, she was the one with the super-hearing afterall, but no. She didn't hear it on time and Aiden died. All because of her…

So there she is, sacrificing herself so her friends would be safe, getting almost killed just because she feel like she deserved it..

No. She didnt deserve to die yet, not when the others are still in danger. It was her fault, and she couldn't die before they find a way to escape. She didn't deserve to die, she needed to get them ot of this mess just like she dragged them in. That was when she felt the phantoms get control of her, that was when she opened a rift for the secod time, that was when she realised how she could get them out of this world, she needed to sacifice herself and close the rift from inside after they get out. There was no escape for her, and she was glad there wasn't. She didnt deserve it anyways..

yaay its finished, maybe i did a little vent in this, maybe i did not, you could neve know..

anygays i officially joined the war!

@moonbiine @womp-womp-waa i learned from the best

[spidercoris]

SBG EP 85 FASTPASS SPOILERS

i feel bad for whoever thought that jasmine was gonna switch sides and team up with the kids because that’s definitely NOT the case..

SHES READY TO KILL THEIR ASSES SHE HAS ZERO EMPATHY 😭

please shoot ashlyn 🙏 i mean whattt who said that… SHOOT HER. hahahahahah whatttttt where’s that voice coming from…

also “mavie” as a nickname. are maverick and jasmine siblings orrrr…

[the-mighty-e]

Aidlyn is that type of ship that has the "I wish I met you sooner" dynamic. No one can change my mind.

I WILL draw something about this