#Ashley Slater

[jgthirlwell]

Just uploaded a performance of the composition "Seventy Cops" performed live by JG Thirlwell's Steroid Maximus at Le Pompidou in Paris on April 12 2003. Some additional footage shot at Le Lieu Unique in Nantes on April 11 2003.

This arrangement was recorded and released on the Steroid Maximus album Ectopia. The album is available digitally at foetus.org or Bandcamp

The footage was shot and edited by Clement Tuffreau in 2003. It was enhanced by JG Thirlwell in 2025.

Please subscribe to the JG Thirlwell YouTube channel. More to come!

[jumbostickyrice]

Ghostbusters Electro Swing Mix on Expert | By Wolfgang Lohr, Ashley Slater | Full Combo

[mitjalovse]

The noughts seemed to be the point that had a lot of development of electronic music, yet the questions the veterans of the idiom had perplexed them and their work back then. Some didn't find a way to proceed afterwards, especially those who 90's were incredible. Fatboy Slim's entry for the noughts, Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars, remains a funny one, for instance. He attempts to do a lot out of his comfort zone, yet he still return to the latter there as you can hear on the link. Thus, I wouldn't call the record a transitional album, since Fatboy Slim stayed on his own plain after all the successes. His noughts predicted his consequent career, i.e. he wished to move on from his sound, no one let him.

[mercenaryg]

All I know is that no matter who you meet, it's very unlikely you'll get another Friend Like Me.

Unrelated, it's weird hearing this song without Robin Williams voice.

[spilladabalia]

Cardiacs - A Little Man And A House

[darkliterata]

Lovely haul for the New Books shelf!

[creeping-mollusk]

Thanks for the tag!! finally got to this lol. went with my liked songs on spotify, and I like a lot of stuff so this is very random selection lol

no pressure ofc, but if yall want... @haphazardly-e, @originallyjustolookatmemes, @dooweeedooguy, @i-like-potats ✨

Challenging you all!

Put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most!

Then tag Tumblr friends to keep the game going!

[lxrradio]

Ferry Ultra, Ashley Slater Why Did You Do It (Never Dull Extended Remix)

[the1behindthewheel]

[lands-of-fantasy]

Titular Women in Live-action Superhero Media

Joanna Cameron as Andrea Thomas / Isis in The Secrets of Isis (1975-76)

Cathy Lee Crosby as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman in Wonder Woman (1975)

Lynda Carter as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman in Wonder Woman (1975-79)

Helen Slater as Kara Zor-El / Linda Lee / Supergirl in Supergirl (1984)

Teri Hatcher as Lois Lane in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993-97)

Ashley Scott as Helena Kyle / Huntress, Dina Meyer as Barbara Gordon / Oracle, Rachel Skarsten as Dinah Redmond in Birds of Prey (2002-03)

Halle Berry as Patience Phillips / Catwoman in Catwoman (2004)

Jennifer Garner as Elektra Natchios in Elektra (2005)

Melissa Benoist as Kara Zor-El / Kara Danvers / Supergirl in Supergirl (2015-21)

Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter in Agent Carter (2015-16)

Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones in Jessica Jones (2015-19)

Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman in Wonder Woman (2017) and Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Olivia Holt as Tandy Bowen in Cloak & Dagger (2018-19)*

Evangeline Lily as Hope van Dyne / The Wasp in Ant-Man and The Wasp (2018) and Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Brie Larson as Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel in Captain Marvel (2019)

Sophie Turner as Jean Grey / Phoenix in X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Ruby Rose as Kate Kane / Batwoman in Batwoman Season 1 (2019-20)

Margot Robbie as Dr. Harleen Quinzel / Harley Quinn, Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Helena Bertinelli / The Huntress, Jurnee Smollett-Bell as Dinah Lance / Black Canary, Rosie Perez as Renee Montoya, Ella Jay Basco as Cassandra Cain in Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)

Brec Bassinger as Courtney Whitmore / Stargirl in Stargirl (2020-22)

Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch in WandaVision (2021)

Javicia Leslie as Ryan Wilder / Batwoman in Batwoman Season 2–3 (2021-22)

Elizabeth Tulloch as Lois Lane in Superman & Lois (2021-)

Scarlett Johansson Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow in Black Widow (2021)

Hailee Steinfeld as Kate Bishop in Hawkeye (2021-?)**

Kaci Walfall as Naomi McDuffie in Naomi (2022)

Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan / Ms. Marvel in Ms. Marvel (2022-?)

Tatiana Maslany as Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk in She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022-?)

Letitia Wright as Shuri /Black Panther in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

Brie Larson as Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel, Teyonah Parris as Monica Rambeau, Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan / Ms. Marvel in The Marvels (2023)

Alaqua Cox as Maya Lopez in Echo (2024-?)*

Dakota Johnson as Cassandra Webb / Madame Web in Madame Web (2024)

Kathryn Hann as Agatha Harkness in Agatha All Along (2024)

________________

*While not directly reffered as such in their shows, "Dagger" and "Echo" are, respectively, Tandy's and Maya's codenames in the comics.

**This also goes for Kate and the "Hawkeye" codename, but in her case the show implies she will use it in the near future with the blessing of Clint Barton (the original Hawkeye, who also stars in the show).

[thursdaygrl]

getting to drafts after i eat some breakfast but i'm in the mood for new things cause it's the weekend. like for a one liner from one of the muses under the cut!

crash cross, 32, straight, he/him, james marsters fc

dakota collier, 26, straight, he/him, rory culkin fc 

edward ‘dawson’ dawson ii, 22, bisexual, he/him, spencer house fc 

niamh bradshaw, 23, lesbian, she/her, erin kellyman fc

river im, 24, lesbian, she/they, london thor fc

rory medina, 23, lesbian, she/her, ruby cruz fc

slater pruitt, 26, bisexual, she/her, victoria pedretti fc

alex mendez, 35, lesbian, she/they, roberta colindrez fc

chiara brown, 24, bisexual, she/her, samantha logan fc

elias stratford, 30, lesbian, they/them, e.r. fightmaster fc

fionn sheridan, 26, straight, he/him, paul mescal fc

molly thaxton, 37, lesbian, she/they, lily gladstone fc

ashley ‘ash’ weiss, 32, straight, he/him, jeremy allen white fc

callahan tiernan, 29, straight, he/him, daryl mccormack fc

carla santos, 35, lesbian, she/her, aubrey plaza fc 

dashiell ‘dash’ vanderbilt, 29, straight, he/him, jack quaid fc

felix tabrizi, 23, straight, he/him, aria shahghasemi fc

francesca fischer, 27, bisexual, she/her, molly gordon fc

james gilbert, 25, lesbian, they/she, maya hawke fc 

ziggy keller, 22, lesbian, she/they, rachelle vinberg fc

[jumbostickyrice]

Spooky Scary Skeletons on Expert | By Ashley Slater and Betty Booom | Full Combo

[obsessedwithlarkin]

Club dancers doing Ashley Moffit Solos this season:

•Faye Cunnigham

• Addison Pichette

• Emma Scott ( duh)

• Avery Palacios

• Elodie Olson

• Brylin Drummond

• Kambria Merrill

• Leo Robbins

• River Robbins

• Sailor Moyers

• Kinsley Cook

• Blaire Atchley

• Aurora Hanson

• Parker Banks

• Kensington Ferrin

• Lily Knopps

• Abbey Scott

• Charlie Seals

• Dolly Putton

• Paislee Perkins

• Lyla Barrett

• Hannah Slater

• Eastyn Vose

• Luella Parkinson

•

ALL I KNOW SO FAR!

get ready for some masterpieces, see you in november kar mesa🩵🩵

[weekdaygladers]

books i read in 2024

recapping my reads of this year, organized in order in which i read them

stats for nerds like me:

read 55/25 book goal

top 3 genres:

romance

contemporary

mystery

avg. rating: 3.37⭐

all books, ratings and dates listed below the cut

the sittaford mystery - agatha christie // 4.0⭐// read from jan 4 - jan 7

the sunday lunch club - juliet ashton // 2.75⭐// read from jan 7 - jan 13

the christmas bet - meg easton // 3.25⭐// read jan 15

bunny - mona awad // 4.25⭐// read from may 19 - may 28

a good girl's guide to murder - holly jackson // 4.5⭐// read from jul 1 - jul 2

the yellow wallpaper - charlotte perkins gilman // 3.0⭐// read jul 2

a vineyard valentine - nina bocci // 3.25⭐// read jul 2

buried deep - margot hunt // 3.5⭐// read jul 2

tell her story - margot hunt // 3.25⭐// read from jul 2 - jul 3

a murder to remember - brynn kelly // 4.25⭐// read from jul 3 - jul 4

you can thank me later - kelly harms // 3.0⭐// read jul 4

dead girls can't tell secrets - chealsea ichaso // 3.5⭐// read from jul 4 - jul 5

twisted love - ana huang // 2.5⭐// read jul 5

twisted games - ana huang // 2.0⭐// read from jul 5 - jul 8

love at first psych - cara bastone // 4.25⭐// read jul 8

exposed: the ashley madison hack - sophie elmhirst // 3.0⭐// read jul 8

the house on the water - margot hunt // 4.5⭐// read jul 8

after you've gone - margot hunt // 3.25⭐// read from jul 8 - jul 9

call me maybe - cara bastone // 4.0⭐// read jul 9

sweet talk - cara bastone // 3.5⭐// read jul 9

seatmate - cara bastone // 4.5⭐// read from jul 9 - jul 10

maybe this time - cara bastone // 3.0⭐// read jul 10

the bookworm crush - lisa brown roberts // 2.5⭐// read from jul 10 - jul 11

mad love - wendy walker // 4.5⭐// read jul 11

escape from virtual island - john lutz // 3.0⭐// read from jul 11 - jul 12

back in the burbs - avery flynn & tracy wolff // 3.25⭐// read from jul 12 - jul 15

hold your breath - dylan baker // 3.0⭐// read jul 15

home before night - j.p. pomare // 4.0⭐// read jul 15

tell me lies - j.p. pomare // 4.0⭐// read jul 15

if he had been with me - laura nowlin // 4.5⭐// read from jul 15 - jul 16

american girl - wendy walker // 3.0⭐// read jul 16

you only die twice - brynn kelly // 2.0⭐ // read jul 17

the stand-in - lily chu // 4.0⭐// read from jul 17 - jul 18

ice planet barbarians - ruby dixon // 0.0⭐// read jul 19

the summer i turned pretty - jenny han // 4.0⭐// read from jul 18 - jul 19

geekerella - ashley poston // 3.5⭐// read from jul 19 - jul 21

the takedown - lily chu // 2.5⭐// read from jul 21 - jul 22

1984 - george orwell, read by andrew gardfield // 4.0⭐// read jul 22

the comeback - lily chu // 3.0⭐// read from jul 22 - jul 23

twisted hate - ana huang // 1.0⭐// read from jul 23 - jul 24

husband and wife -k.l. slater // 3.5⭐// read from jul 24 - jul 25

will my cat eat my eyeballs? - caitlin doughty // 4.0⭐// read jul 25

one of those flings - lauren blakely // 3.0⭐// read from jul 25 - jul 26

if we ever meet again - ana huang // 2.0⭐// read from jul 26 - jul 29

the kind worth killing - peter swanson // 4.0⭐// read from may 28 - aug 20

our scorching summer - denise stone & kels stone // 2.5⭐// read from may 31, 2023 - sep 17

these violent delights - micah nemerever // 4.25⭐// read from sep 17 - sep 30

funny story - emily henry // 4.5⭐// read from sep 30 - oct 2

good girl, bad blood - holly jackson // 4.5⭐// read from oct 1 - oct 8

as good as dead - holly jackson // 4.0⭐// read from oct 8 - oct 9

lessons in chemistry - bonnie garmus // 3.5⭐// read from oct 18 - oct 20

caraval - stephanie garber // 4.0⭐️// read from dec 26 - dec 27

legendary - stephanie garber // 3.5⭐️// read from dec 27 - dec 28

finale - stephanie garber // 2.5⭐// read from dec 28 - dec 30

holiday lights and cocoa cookie nights - meg easton // 3.0⭐// read dec 31

[s10127470]

Fant4stic: A Fantastic Failure (Part 1)

As I’m sure many of you are aware, this past Valentines Day, Marvel Studios released a poster promoting their upcoming Fantastic Four film, releasing about a year from now in July of 2025.

This has gotten people cautiously interested.....

Keyword: cautiously.

It's no surprise that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been on a major decline since Avengers: Endgame.

Largely due to ridiculous quantity of projects they've been pumping out a year.

Plus that fact that a lot of these projects quality-wise have been either mid or just straight up dog-shit.

This has led to the ongoing trend known as Marvel Fatigue.

Not helping any of this is some of the behind-the-scenes stuff that was revealed over the last few years.

From having their projects being helm by people who have little to no knowledge or care for the characters and the source material they're working it.

And we all know how well that turns out....

To more infamously, overworking and underpaying their VFX artists.

And given some of the shit they've had to animate, they NEED to start getting better pay....

Yes.....what you just saw was a real scene from a Marvel movie.

And just to add salt to the wound, in addition to the declining interest, is that these recent Marvel films have not been performing well financially.

Hell, The Marvels (their latest film) ended up being a box office bomb, only grossing $206 million worldwide against production budget of $274.8 million. Not only that, but it now holds the record for being the lowest grossing film in the franchise's history.

So yeah.....

Although the casting is pretty decent, the inclusion of H.E.R.B.I.E. was quite the surprise, and the 60s aesthetic/vibes are pretty cool, people still have their reservations for this film given the MCU's track record lately.

However, one thing everyone does seem to agree on is that this film can't be any worse than their last cinematic outing.....

The Fantastic Four have had, funnily enough, have had four feature-length adaptations.

The very first film adaptation of Marvel's First Family was the legendary 1994 film from Roger Corman.

Although it was completed and ready to release, it famously never got released (which I'll touch a little more on later).

However, copies of the film have been circulating since May 31st, 1994.

Over a decade later, the Fantastic Four would get their technically second but first true feature-length film in the form of the 2005 film, directed by Tim Story, and released by 20th Century Fox on July 8th, 2005.

This film would also get a sequel just two years later with Rise of the Silver Surfer, directed again by Story and released by Fox on June 15th, 2007.

And finally, after almost a decade away from the big screen, the FF would return with their fourth and until the MCU film releases, latest film, the 2015 film, or more commonly known as Fant4stic, as that's how it was abbreviated...

A Fantastic Nightmare:

In August 2009, Fox would announce that they would be rebooting the Fantastic Four film franchise.

The reason why is because although Rise of the Silver Surfer did fairly well, grossing $301 million worldwide against a $120-130 million budget, the total gross was notably lesser than the first movie, which grossed $333.5 million worldwide.

And although there were plans for a third movie and a spin-off film focusing on The Silver Surfer, Fox feared those films could possibly be money sinks and opted to reboot the film franchise as a whole.

For the next three years, not a whole lot of progress was done with the planned reboot, apart from the hiring of producers and writers and the consideration of actors.

But the production of the film really started rolling in July 2012 when Fox hired Josh Trank, who was fresh off his directorial debut, Chronicle, to direct film.

And accompanying him was Jeremy Slater, who was hired to the screenwriter for the film, alongside X-Men: First Class writers Zack Stentz and Ashley Edward Miller.

And this where everything went to shit....

If any of you even know about Fant4stic, you'd probably know that it has one of the most turbulent production histories in the last decade of filmmaking.

Before we start actually looking into the production itself, first we need to look at the reason why it was even made in the first place.

And this point brings me back to the 1994 film.

Both that and this film were created for the exact same reason: copyright hoarding.

In 1983, the other producer of the 1994 film, Bernd Eichinger met with Fantastic Four co-creator and the Marvel legend himself, Stan Lee, in Los Angeles to explore obtaining an option for a movie based on Marvel's First Family. The option was not available until three years later, when Eichinger's production company Constantin Film obtained it for a price the producer called "not enormous" and which has been estimated to be $250,000.

Eichinger's initial plan was to have the movie be a full-on blockbuster directed by Chris Columbus, complete with a cast full of big name celebrities.

But despite some interest from Warner Bros. Pictures and Columbia Pictures, budget concerns precluded any production, and with the option scheduled to expire on December 31, 1992, Constantin asked Marvel for an extension. With none forthcoming, Eichinger planned to retain his option by producing a low-budget Fantastic Four film. In September 1992, he teamed with B-movie specialist Roger Corman, who agreed to produce the film on a $1 million budget, to be released by his distribution company New Horizons Pictures.

But we all know how that ended....

Essentially, the entire of that movie ended up in a one big legal loop-hole that only benefitted Eichinger, leaving dozen of people's lives played with and their hopes and dreams crushed.

And in the case of Fant4stic, it's essentially a tragic case of history repeating itself.

Fox only produced Fant4stic not because they were genuinely interested in doing another film based on The First Family, they only did it to use it as an excuse to latch onto the film rights.

As when the 2010s rolled out, Fox's time with the Fantastic Four were about to come to an end as eventually, their film rights would've been reverted back to Marvel, and to that extension, The Walt Disney Company.

But if they had made another Fantastic Four project pretty soon, they would be able to extend their time with the film rights.

And from what I've heard, it seems like Fox wanted to get this film rolling as quick possible with the approaching deadline to the rights.

That's probably the reason why they hired Trank out of all people that could've directed this film.

Which for a film like this, you would think that Fox would go with a director that's a bit more experienced since remember: upon his hiring as director for the project, Trank was fresh off his very first directorial film.

Though you're probably wondering what I meant when I said everything went to shit upon Trank's hiring, well....

There have been plenty of cases where the productions of films have been absolute chores for one of two reasons.

The director or producers just being infamously difficult to work with, like David O'Russel or Michael Bay.

The studio constantly meddling in the production, like....basically every film studio to ever exist.

But Fant4stic is one of the rare cases where both the studio and the director made the production a living hell.

Starting off with Fox (as funnily enough, they did the least amount of damage to the production), they were guilty of....

Forcing constant rewrites

Giving Trank a much-lower budget than initially promised

Hiring a prominent special effect expert for the film, then firing him and not telling Trank about it

When production finally wrapped on the film, they were so unhappy with the finished product, that they ordered massive reshoots, including the film climax

Upon finishing the reshoots, they locked Trank out of the editing room and finishing the theatrical cut of film without him

As for Trank.....Hoo boy! Where do I even begin?

He was guilty for......

Constantly butting heads with the studio executives

Treating the cast and crew like absolute shit

Not showing up to the set on time

Usually showing up completely hammered

Frequently hiding himself from everyone on set

Constantly getting into fights (verbal and even physical) with the cast and crew

Letting his dogs loose and causing $100,000 worth of damage on the set

Constantly fighting with the screenwriters about what the tone of the film should be like

And writing a now infamous tweet on Twitter just the day before the film's release, only to be instantly deleted the next day

And remember, this was the second film that Trank directed....

I've heard of Hollywood getting to people, but it usually takes a couple of years. But in the case of Trank, it practically happened overnight.

And funnily enough, a lot of this behind-the-scenes drama was revealed to the public even before the movie had an official trailer.

So expectations for this film were not particularly very high....

But now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about the actual movie itself.

The "Story":

Childhood friends Reed Richards and Ben Grimm have worked together on a prototype teleporter since youth, eventually attracting the attention of Professor Franklin Storm, director of the Baxter Foundation, a government-sponsored research institute for young prodigies. Reed is recruited to join them and aid Storm's children, scientist Sue Storm and engineer Johnny Storm, into completing a "Quantum Gate" designed by Storm's protégé Victor Von Doom.

The experiment is successful, and the facility's supervisor, Dr. Allen, plans to send a group from NASA to venture into a parallel dimension known as "Planet Zero". Disappointed at being denied the chance to join the expedition, Reed, Johnny and Victor along with Ben use the Quantum Gate to embark on an unsanctioned voyage to Planet Zero, which they learn is a world filled with otherworldly substances. Victor attempts to touch the green lava-like substance, causing the ground they are standing on to erupt. Reed, Johnny and Ben return to their shuttle just as Sue brings them back to Earth and Victor is seemingly killed after he falls into the collapsing landscape. The Quantum Gate explodes, altering Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben on a genetic level and granting them superhuman abilities beyond their control: Reed can stretch like rubber, Sue can become invisible and generate force fields, Johnny can engulf his entire body in fire and fly, and Ben acquires a rock-like hide which gives him superhuman strength and durability. They are then placed in government custody to be studied and have their abilities tested. Blaming himself for the accident, Reed escapes from the facility and tries to find a cure for their changes.

One year later in 2015, Reed is now a fugitive and has built a suit that helps him control his ability. Hiding in Central America, he is eventually found by the United States military with Sue's help and captured by Ben, who has become a military asset along with Johnny and Sue. Johnny and Sue have been outfitted with specialized suits designed to help them control their abilities. Reed is brought to Area 57, where Dr. Allen conscripts him into rebuilding the Quantum Gate in exchange for giving Reed the resources to find a cure. Arriving in Planet Zero, Dr. Allen's explorers find Victor, who has been fused to his spacesuit and now possesses telekinetic abilities, and bring him back to Earth. Believing that Earth needs to be destroyed to protect his new home world from future invasions, Victor kills the scientists and soldiers in the base, including Dr. Allen and Professor Storm, and returns to Planet Zero using the Quantum Gate, with Ben, Johnny, Reed and Sue in pursuit.

Now dubbing himself "Doom", Victor activates a portal on Planet Zero using the Quantum Gate and begins consuming the landscape of the Earth using a structure he created from the rock formations in Planet Zero. He is confronted by the four and, after a short battle, Ben punches Doom into the portal's energy beam, disintegrating him while Johnny closes the portal. Returning to Earth, the group is rewarded by the US military for their heroics by being given a new base of operations known as "Central City" to study their abilities without government interference. They decide to use their powers to help people and adopt the mantle of the "Fantastic Four".

Yeah, I basically just copied and pasted the premise of this film from Wikipedia.

The reason why is because there really isn't a whole lot to talk about.

The plot is paper thin, and the execution doesn't do it any favors.

In terms of adaptation, this film doesn't really adapt any notable Fantastic Four storylines.

The closest thing to this is that it's a loose adaptation of the first volume/arc of Ultimate Fantastic Four.

You can see this with elements such as.....

The Four themselves being depicted as teenagers/young adults

Reed and Ben being childhood best friends

Franklin Storm actually being a major character whereas in the 616 universe, he's largely irrelevant

The Baxter Building being turned into The Baxter Foundation

The reason for them getting their powers being a teleportation experiment gone wrong

And Doom being involved with the experiment as well and his famous armor being his actual skin instead

However, that's as far as it goes. They don't really bother to adapt the actual story of that arc, which has the team facing off against The Mole Man.

But one of the strangest story choices with this movie is in the case of Planet Zero.

Planet Zero is reportedly suppose to be Fant4stic's version of The Negative Zone.

Why they didn't just call it The Negative Zone, I have no clue.....

But as most of you know, The Negative Zone is famous for being the realm of one of the Fantastic Four's most prominent foes: Annihilus.

And with their version of The Negative Zone, you would think they would probably feature Annihilus in this movie.

But no! He doesn't appear at all nor is he even alluded to. In fact, Planet Zero is depicted as being a lifeless wasteland, with no living organisms in sight.

The Sucky Tone:

In contrast to the previous 3 FF films, this one is far more darker, serious and grounded.

This was because Trank wanted the tone of the movie to be, in his own words, "gritty, serious and as realistic as possible".

And it's safe to that Fox also encouraged this tone as well.

From the early 2000s into the mid-2010s, a good chunk of superhero films relied on taking superheroes and making them darker, gritty and more grounded than they were in their source material and other adaptations.

This can be largely attributed to the X-Men films, which were more serious and grounded than the comics and their other adaptations.

This was done because after the failure of Batman and Robin, comic books movies were briefly seen as cinema poison.

The X-Men films, Daredevil, Elektra, The Dark Knight trilogy, The Amazing Spider-Man duology, and even the first few films of the DC Extended Universe all prided themselves on being more dark, gritter and grounded than their source material and sometimes even predecessors in film.

And while most of these movies are still fondly remembered, I'm gonna have to come out and say this....

I'm not a fan of these films.

Apart from some of these characters just not fitting with a darker and gritty tone, the biggest reason why I don't like these films is because a lot of them reek of this sense of embarrassment and contempt for the source material they're adapting.

Like, some of them are not even being that subtle about it.

I am so glad this was finally made fun of in an actual Marvel project.

And in an age where a lot of producers and directors working on a projects based on long, established properties have been open about either not caring or straight up disliking the properties they're working with, its made many of these films age kinda poorly.

However, there were some superheroes films from the 2000s that didn't fall into this trap.

Undoubtedly the biggest is in the case of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy.

Those films were unabashedly campy, and were obviously made by people who legitimately cared about, understood and loved Spider-Man.

That's why despite of a having a few faults, the films are still talked about in high regards, even after two decades.

And notably more so than the films I just mentioned.

But back to the film itself, to the Fantastic Four having a dark, gritty and grounded tone.

Most people, myself include, would have to say....

Fantastic Four, while having their dark and serious moments here and there, are some of the most light-hearted characters in Marvel.

Trying to make them dark and gritty just feels incredibly tryhard.

And as for being grounded and realistic.

That's completely antithetical to the Fantastic Four.

They're adventurers and explorers. And many of their adventures have taken place in space, other dimensions, and alternate realties. It's one of the core appeals of the team.

And as you would expect, this tone did not do the film any favors.

Fant4stic is so. Fucking. Boring.

It is deathly serious with no sense of levity or humor to be detected.

The music is bland and generic, the color grading is dull as hell, and the performances....

Dear God....the performances.

I think this actually perfectly segways into the biggest and most important part of this post:

The "Characters":

One of the strongest draws of The Fantastic Four is, well, The Fantastic Four themselves.

All of them are very likable, charming, interesting and endearing in their own way.

And does Fant4stic capture anything that made these characters so great?

Let's start off with Reed first.

Reed in the comics and in just about every other medium is a genius, a polymath to exact.

In fact, he's tied with another one of the main characters I'll be talking about soon as being the smartest person in the Marvel Universe.

But besides being intelligent, Reed is also curious, adventurous, charismatic, level-headed, kind, and most importantly of all, passionate.

Reed is passionate about two things:

-His love for his family

-And his love for science and adventure

And while he can be little over-analytical, a little reserved at times, and have a bit of a one-mind track (so much so that he's been headcanon by just about everyone to be autistic), Reed overall is a very kind, caring and compassionate person.

Hell, he (along with the rest of the four) are some of the most morally righteous people in the Marvel Universe alongside Spider-Man and Captain America.

Now let's look at Fant4astic Reed....

Apart from being intelligent, level-headed and maybe curious, has none of the traits I just listed.

He's not adventurous.

He's not shown to be all that kind.

He has all the charisma of a funeral service.

And worst of all, he's not very passionate.

In the comics, Reed loves science and is always down to learn something new.

But the way Reed approaches science in the movie, it feels more like an obligation rather than something he's actually passionate about.

Next we have Sue.

Sue is pretty much the mother figure of the four.

Warm, caring, kind, mindful and responsible.

But she's also incredibly terrifying.

Sue's the most powerful member of the four and has proven to be a force to be reckon with for anyone who cares to hurt her family, especially her children.

Now let's look at Fant4astic Sue....

Well, how do l put this in the kindest way possible?

Yeah. Apart from being introverted, she's also shown to be incredibly sarcastic.

Like, modern animated adult comedy levels of being sarcastic.

And needlessly so.

Apart from still being responsible, Sue shows none of the traits I just listed.

The only character see isn’t needlessly sarcastic to is her and Johnny’s father, Franklin.

This version of the character is the walking definition of a killjoy.

Next we have her brother Johnny.

Johnny is the little brother of the group, since he’s the youngest.

He’s cocky, brash, hotheaded, a bit of a prankster, and kind of a showoff.

But in spite of that, Johnny is also a very kind and loyal individual.

The dude has been show that he’s willing to die for those he deeply cares for.

Now let’s look at Fant4stic Johnny.

Johnny is really the only character who somewhat resembles his original comic counterpart.

But even then, it still feels somewhat subdued.

Plus he has the same issue as Sue with him being needlessly a dick to people.

Like, Johnny had his dickish moments, but wasn't a massive asshole.

And plus, I should probably address the elephant in the room.

As you could probably tell for yourselves, Johnny here is African-American, making him and Sue adopted siblings.

And this would be the very first (and so far only) iterations of the Storm siblings who weren't blood-related.

And in all honesty, I'm not a fan of it.

Having Johnny and Sue not being biologically-related just feels wrong.

That would be like having Mario and Luigi not being related.

Or Goofy and Max.

Or Dante and Vergil.

Sometimes, you can't alter an important familial relationship.

As for why Johnny was made black while Sue wasn't.

Well....

Apparently, the Storm Family were all gonna be black, including Sue. But the higher-ups were not really onboard with Sue being black (I'm not even gonna try to make sense of that). But they were allowed to make Johnny and Franklin black. So thus, Sue ended up being adopted by the Storms.

And I must ask....

Why?

Why did they want to make the entire Storm family black?

I'm guessing it was to give a new fresh take on the characters.

But that's kind of debatable when we get to a point I'll bring up a little later.

And in terms of casting a black Johnny Storm, I don't think Michael B. Jordan was the best choice.

He just doesn't look like how most people would see Johnny as being black.

I think there's two reasons for that.

The hairstyle. Johnny has usually been depicted as having spiky hair. I think if had Michael those upward locs, then I could see him passing for a black Johnny.

The age of the actor. In fact, this applies to all the actors of the four as well. In the film, the four are said to be teenagers, specifically fresh out of high school age. So basically they would be around 17-18 years old. It's hard to see any of them as being around that age range when the actors who played them were, at the time of the film's release, two of them were 28, one of them was 29, and one of them was 32! Did they really just not bother to look for actors who were like college-aged?

Now we come to Ben.

Ben is undoubtedly most people's favorite member of the Fantastic Four.

While gruff, tough and a tad pessimistic and grumpy due to his circumstances, underneath Ben's rocky exterior beats a heart of gold.

He deeply cares for his friends and family and will go out of his way to protect them no matter what.

Now let's look at Fant4astic Ben.

Ben, being only rivaled by the next character we'll be talking about, is the character who barely resembles his original counterpart the most.

First, there's his appearance. Specifically before he became The Thing.

Out of this already not-good cast, Jaime Bell was probably the most miscasted of them all.

For starters, he just doesn't look like Ben Grimm at all.

Like, take a look at this guy and tell me that he looks remotely like the pre-Thing Ben in the comics.

Basically, Jaime suffers from the same problem that Topher Grace had when he played Venom.

He's too short. Ben, even before becoming The Thing, was usually depicted as being pretty tall, 6'0 to be exact. Jaime is 5'7. The dude is literally no taller than me (and I'm 5'8).

He's way too skinny. Once again, even before becoming The Thing, Ben is usually shown to be a pretty muscular-looking guy. He is canonically a skilled brawler (due to him being part of a street gang during his youth) and played on the football team in high school.

Essentially, even before becoming The Thing, Ben looked like a guy who could and can beat your ass.

This Ben looks like the guy who YOU would be beating the ass of!

Then there's his characterization.

This Ben has none of the traits I just mentioned.

Apart from being kind, he's typically portrayed as being soft-spoken and somewhat meek.

Which just don't fit the character of Ben Grimm at all.

But I think the worst part of his characterization is that he doesn't even have a Brooklyn accent!

Yeah! He doesn't have a Brooklyn accent! Despite it being one of the most famous elements of his character.

I'm the guy who think that a character should have their accent intact if they originally had it.

I'm one of the few people who find it kinda annoying that Black Widow doesn't speak with a Russian accent anymore despite speaking with one all-time in her appearances pre-MCU.

And I'm sure that I'm the only guy on the planet who actually wants Magneto to speak with a German accent.

But Ben not speaking with a Brooklyn accent feels both disgraceful and just plain wrong.

But perhaps the worst thing about this version of Ben is with his trademark catchphrase: It's Clobberin' Time!

In this film, they decided to give the catchphrase an origin.

Because we all know that what's the fans were certainly asking for it....

But anyway, in the Fant4stic continuity, It's Clobberin' Time was what Ben's abusive older brother who regularly beat him, would say right before kicking his ass!

Why?

Why was this added?

Who thought this was a good idea?

It adds nothing to this already nothing story.

Having Ben's catchphrase being the result of abuse from his older brother comes off as both incredibly fucked-up and like the rest of this cursed movie, unnecessarily tryhard.

The people who thought that giving this iconic catchphrase a gritty reason for existing need to get repeatedly smacked in the face.

But like I mentioned before, there's only one other character in the movie that rivals Ben in being the biggest spit in the face to their original counterpart.

But I'm gonna save that for next time.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to end this post right here since I'm pretty close to reaching the media post limit.

So this is gonna be a two-parter.

Wasn't the original intent, but hey, you can't win them all.

But tune in next time where I finish looking at this terrible movie.

And beware....I'm not gonna be very kind.

[austxnland]

PBs MASCULINOS

Bill Nighy (datunni)

Timothée Chalamet (Kimbra)

Alexander Skarsgård (Rhoda)

Ewan Mitchell (Pixerina)

Daniel Sharman (Mar)

Henry Cavill (leonoratupelomemola)

Theo James (prudencehalliwell)

Lorenzo Zurzolo (masterrpg)

Nicholas Galitzine (Motopapi)

Maxence Danet (Cinders)

Damian Hardung (Lotillo)

Jude Law (Aspen)

Ben Barnes (Aspen)

Aaron Taylor Johnson (Theorp)

Sam Caflin (herfuckinghighness)

Ken Bek (Strong)

David Morrisey (mariemaudite)

Josh O'Connor (Murdoch)

Collin Farrel (Luka)

Luke Evans (Aquiles)

Johnny Depp (fitzalanhoward)

Leo Suter (Wonderwall)

Anar Khalilov (ladycerise)

Kylle Soller (Dormer)

Leo Woodall (aqua)

Jonathan Bailey (Tilney)

Lee Pace (Vinda)

Jack Lowden (Prince)

Michiel Huisman (Apolo)

Jonathan Bailey (Disso)

Guy Remmers (Ese)

Logan Marshall-Green (Ruffian)

Luke Newton (Pajarito)

Tom Hiddleston (Silkyy)

Douglas Booth (Kai)

Leonardo Di Caprio (Ashurbanipal)

Freddy Carter (Bram)

Danny Griffin (missmyowndream)

Michael Fassbender (Lady A)

Mads Mikkelsen (Hamish)

Austin Butler (lastberserker)

Max Irons (Archibald)

Louis Garrel (Queensberry)

PBS FEMENINOS

PBS FEMENINOS

Sarah Gadon (datnunni)

Marina Aleksandrova (the-modified-girl)

Hannah Dodd (leireg)

Dominique Davenport (beautiful–ghost)

Elizabeth Debicki (Rhoda)

Michelle Dockery (Pixerina)

Lucy Boynton (Mars)

Alyda Grace (dillahokk)

Kaya Scodelario (dillahokk)

Yuliya Khlynina (Mar)

Nicola Coughlan (konohaironfist)

Harriet Herbig-Matte (Sadri)

Phoebe Dynevor (herfuckinghighness)

Taylor Swift (ethxreall)

Anya Taylor-Joy

Elle Fanning (Murdoch)

Jenna Coleman (Luka)

Laura Berlin (Lastberserker)

Arielle Chartrand (Moonpie)

Abigail Cowen (missmyowndream)

Emma Watson (ethxreall)

Bella Heathcote (H3)

Alina Kovalenko (ladycerise)

Katie McGrath (Moonlight)

Ella Purnell (aqua)

Florence Pugh (Milanesa)

Elina Kataeva (Lotillo)

Gabriella Wilde (Kairi)

Lily James (anya)

Jessica Barden (Kai)

Adelaide Kane (Kiki)

Emmy Rossum (Milanesa)

Florence Hunt (Golden)

Harriet Slater

Nikki Beiar (Gianna)

Simone Ashley (Foreigner)

Sara Bolger (Arien)

Sabrina Bartlett (Rocky)

Ashlie Atkinson (Vinda)

Emeraude Toubia

Alicia Vikander (BG)

Hailee Steinfeld (Tete)

Ashleigh Stewa (Tete)

Phoebe Tonkin (Erismoony)

Deva Cassel (delicatewerewolfblaze)

Noomi Rapace (MagicRules)

Lea Sydoux (Blue)

Anna Sahaydachna (Snowflake)

Natalie Dormer (Garbanza)

Winnie Harlow (Chantelle Brown-Young) Lady A.

Ana de Armas (Isolde)

Eleanor Tomlinson (Blacksver)

Anna Sitkina (Milanesa)

Holliday Grainger (Rosamund)

Kim Cattrall (Montrose)

Kristine Froseth (kairi)

MONARQUÍA

Hijo varón (28 años) de la princesa Diana Elizabeth. (Kimbra) Hija de la Princesa Diana - Mujer. 23. Soltera. (leireg) Príncipe Philipp Joseph Laurence Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Rhoda) Esposa príncipe Philippe (Pixerina) Hija de 19 años de la princesa Charlotte (Mars) Gemelo hijo mayor de Princesa Eugenia Justine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Mar) Gemelo hijo menor) de Princesa Eugenia Justine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Golden) Hija de 20 años de Princesa Diana (dillahokk) Hijo de 18 años del príncipe Archibald Leopold (masterrpg) Hijo de 20 años del Príncipe Archibald Leopold (Cinders) Primer hijo de la Princesa Diana. Príncipe Edward George Charles Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Aspen) Hija de 23 de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Milanesa) Hija de 20 de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Kairi) Hija de 25 años de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Anya) Hijo varón de 32 del Príncipe Edward (Prince) Hija de 23 años soltera de la princesa Aurora (melliza) (Gianna) Hija de 23 años soltera de la princesa Aurora (melliza) (Erismoony) Hija de 27 años del Príncipe Edward - Princesa (fitzalanhoward) Hijo de 30 años del Príncipe Edward (Kai) Hijo varón, 23 años, de la Princesa EugeniaJustine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Lotillo) Hija Mujer de 25 años de la Princesa Aurora Epiphanía Victoria Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Tete) Princesa Amelia Anne Aurora Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Snowflake)

MONARQUÍA

Hijo varón (28 años) de la princesa Diana Elizabeth. (Kimbra)

Hija de la Princesa Diana - Mujer. 23. Soltera. (leireg)

Príncipe Philipp Joseph Laurence Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Rhoda)

Esposa príncipe Philippe (Pixerina)

Hija de 19 años de la princesa Charlotte (Mars)

Gemelo hijo mayor de Princesa Eugenia Justine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Mar)

Gemelo hijo menor) de Princesa Eugenia Justine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Golden)

Hija de 20 años de Princesa Diana (dillahokk)

Hijo de 18 años del príncipe Archibald Leopold (masterrpg)

Hijo de 20 años del Príncipe Archibald Leopold (Cinders)

Primer hijo de la Princesa Diana. Príncipe Edward George Charles Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Aspen)

Hija de 23 de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Milanesa)

Hija de 20 de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Kairi)

Hija de 25 años de la Princesa Charlotte Eloise Cecile Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Anya)

Hijo varón de 32 del Príncipe Edward (Prince)

Hija de 23 años soltera de la princesa Aurora (melliza) (Gianna)

Hija de 23 años soltera de la princesa Aurora (melliza) (Erismoony)

Hija de 27 años del Príncipe Edward - Princesa (fitzalanhoward)

Hijo de 30 años del Príncipe Edward (Kai)

Hijo varón, 23 años, de la Princesa EugeniaJustine Hildegard Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Lotillo)

Hija Mujer de 25 años de la Princesa Aurora Epiphanía Victoria Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha. (Tete)

Princesa Amelia Anne Aurora Sajonia-Coburgo-Gotha (Snowflake)

TÍTULOS NOBILIARIOS

Lord Cavendish (Duque de Devonshire) - Condado Devonshire (datnunni)

Conde y Condesa de Essex (Earl and Countess of Essex). (the-modified-girl)

Condado de Carlisle (beautiful--ghost)

Ducado de York (Rhoda)

Ducado Dorset (Ballerina)

Lady Cavendish (Hija menor del Duque de Devonshire) - Condado Devonshire. (Mar) [Pactado con datnunni]

Familia Mountbatten Ducado de Sussex (Hija) (dillahokk)

Duquesa de Wellington (Duke and Duchess of Wellington). Familia: Wellesley. (konohaironfist)

Lady Cavendish (Hija del Duque de Devonshire) - Condado Devonshire. (herfuckinghighness)

Lord Cavendish (Hijo mayor del Duque de Devonshire) - Condado Devonshire. (herfuckinghighness)

Barón y Baronesa de Leighton (Baron and Baroness of Leighton). (mariemaudite)

Ducado de Buccleuch. (Murdoch)

Ducado de Malborough. Churchill. (Angie)

Duque de Norfolk - Condado de Norfolk (Theorp)

Condado de Bedford (Strong)

Baronía de Berkeley (Aquiles)

Baronía de Byron (lastberserker)

Duque y Duquesa de Northumberland (fitzalanhoward)

Condado de Warwick (Apolo)

Condado de Derby (Wonderwall).

Condado de Montrose (Montorse)

Vizconde de Bridport (aqua)

Vizconde y Vizcondesa de Falkland (Viscount and Viscountess of Falkland). Familia: Cary. (H3)

Conde y Condesa de Shrewsbury (Lotillo)

Ducado de Cornwall (Aspen)

Ducado e Lovelace (Baron and Baroness of Lovelace). Familia: King. (leonoratupelomemola)

Lord Lennox (Hijo del duque de Richmond) para VInla

Marquesado de Bath (Foreigner)

Marquess and Marchioness of Salisbury. Familia: Cecil. (Silkyy)

- Vizconde y Vizcondesa de Gage (Viscount and Viscountess of Gage). Familia: Gage. (Ese)

Marqués de Winchester (Lady A)

Ducado de Argyll (lastberserker)

Ducado de Hamilton (Pajarito)

Barón y Baronesa de Montagu (Baron and Baroness of Montagu) (D)

Duque de Buccleuch y Queensberry (konohaironfus)

Ducado de Athol (Milanesa)

Ducado de Gloucester (Blacksver)