#Ashevillelovedope

[canceramorem]

I'm going to skip ahead a little bit, because this next part is just too good to not tell the good people about. "The People", -my good friend Donny will laugh when he reads this. "The People" , means " The People" of the State of New York vs. Jey Pizzle , or in Donny's case, "the People vs Donald D***** III. Yes , as in an official indictment , arrest, attorneys,criminal justice, my least favorite thing Ever -JUDGES! the system, jail, trials , intent and four lawyers,Getting in trouble, got in trouble,and stayed out of trouble. (Donny gets out 2023 )

Now I am not trying to say that it's cool to get in trouble, FUCK NO!, I pray my daughter never gets in trouble. kids and adults- stay out of trouble, or as my favorite Aunt Nora ( she had the same name as my mom) would say - "Keep your nose clean". In other words, avoid police at all costs. Stay below the radar, don't go around and break laws, but if you accidentally do, then be good enough to NOT GET CAUGHT. And I don't know how many times I have to reiterate this-DO NOT SNITCH, DON'T SOCIALIZE WITH , HELP, OR EVEN SPEAK TO anyone that is a snitch! Breaking the law is one thing, but breaking the Law AND Snitching! No fucking way jack! if you get caught, just tell the truth , almost, or whatever you have to do. (DON'T do what, " Do-what-you-do, Duane-The KooK did, lying and snitching- the worst kind) . the main thing is, just be cool, even if you are traveling with kits or drugs and acting afool in different states. Like I said , don't go out being a criminal. But if you do get in trouble, keep your head up, and who knows, maybe you will be lucky enough to get locked up in a good jail. I've made some bad decisions in my life and I'm not proud of it, but I have 43 or 44 ar arrests on my record, criminal history, wrap sheet, or whatever you want to call it, Thats just arrests , NOT convictions. You see, that's how they get people, they twist the truth so it suits their needs. 44 arrests, but maybe only a dozen convictions, and they were all misdemeanors . I was never- EVER charged , arrested , or convicted of any sex offender type shit. Never! I was however, FALSELY ACCUSED, of a few things, including RAPE. I am not and never could be into rape. if a chick doesn't want to be with me, I'm not gonna go out and rape her. instead, I would just go out and pay or trade some shit for a sexual favor from a trick. A lot of being lonely isn't about sex alone, it's more like just being intimately close with a female.

It's kinda like how i met this " love of my life Marie". She knows exactly what I am talking about. I was raised decent, and it's just wrong morally and it's sick. I want somebody that wants me. get the fuck out of here if you thought for a split second, that Jey Pizzle is a fucking RAPE-O!!! ( That's what they call a rapist in New York).

So where were we now, oh yes , I got to the mobile home that Marie had worked so hard, and had come so far to get. With help from DSS of course. You know , the same people that help with food stamps and social stuff. like childcare, and medicaid. Back when I was a kid, they called it welfare. and at school , if you wanted to hurt someone'sfeelings, you would say " Your Mama's on welfare' , yeah, seriously, that would really hurt the kids back then, especially if your mom was on 'welfare' . Shit , in New York State, you have to be on welfare just to survive. It's so fucking expensive there, But anyhow, yeah , I was there. Freezing outside., it was just me and my love. oh , and a decent amount of shit for the two of us. So I did what any new resident to New York does, I applied for food stamps. Since her trailer was so far out in the country, I mailed the application in, and I still had my food stamp card from when I had been to Syracuse the two times before. New york gives you a really cool EBT card, it's got your picture on it and everything, so , I applied for food stamps and the next few days is where this love story turns into something more like a nightmare. But, my good folks, God Is real,and he does miracles everyday in our lives. God is great! Always remember keep your head up " -Excelsior"- Latin for"Ever upward", the New York State Motto.

[canceramorem]

WHO WANTS A HAPPY ENDING , REAL LIFE IS NOT HAPPY, ITS PURE MISERY! HAPPINESS IS a fake sense , love is an illusion, true love Doesn't EXIST, SO fuck life, fuck love, and fuck helping people

, the story is over. Marie left me for some younger guy named Shawn Fortino. He never was there for her when she was homeless and had no one. He wouldn't go to jail for her like I did. Fuck Marie Clara Camp , I hope she dies a slow miserable death. She is prostituting and he is her pimp. She took the ring I bought her (200$) and sold it to help him. He's her pimp. I was right the whole time, she never helped me, she never loved me , instead she did nothing but hurt me. She lets this guy live off of her. She supports him and was using me to help. She ruined me folks she really did. I did nothing to deserve what she did and her kids, well that was just a lie, she hasn't even seen them. In months.The whole time was just a way for her to use me like the emotional hostage-taker that she is. It was all a lie , a big lie. She never loved me. She has no heart, she has no soul. I'm so hurt, I'm actually ruined. I'm in church , crying, devastated. I'm dying of cancer and she has made it worse. I hate her for what she has done to me. I don't plan on living past the new year . It's the saddest love story ever, well that's all. She never helped me to live and I saved her life,. And what was my reward? She caused me to die a lot sooner than I should have.

Don't fall in love folks. It's not worth the pain. Goodbye...

[canceramorem]

COVID -19. what a fucking shit show that was and still is. It figures I would have to be incarcerated when something like that would happen. Not an epidemic a fucking PANDEMIC! any way you look at it , the COVID really sucked. . They even gave us masks that were jail stripes. At this point , I had been in jail for some time. The lawyer they gave me at first was Andrew Moses, ( currently, he's a judge- figures! ) So he was decent, but he didn't handle felony cases. So they appointed me this other fucking ass -clown named Keith Massey Jr. This guy used to work for the prosecutor, so I was fucked. It was at that point. That I lost my mind. They were trying to give me years, yes six years and all the bullshit that goes along with it. Probation, parole, post release, what the fuck ever. I knew if I had just been honest to begin with then they probably would have just let me go. It was an accident, I just wanted her to go to the hospital and get the fucking tampon out. I had no idea where she was or who she was sleeping with. Of course it's too hard for her to spend fifty cents and drop me a line. And besides that, I wanted to at least see her before I went to prison or killed myself one. I had planned out my suicide and I fell into a deep state of depression. (I found out later that she had gotten her disability benefits and got a huge amount of money, an apartment, and some new friends (GUY FRIENDS! and that she was out partying- going to bars, doing cocaine and even got caught with a bunch of Methamphetamines) I knew she was a slut, but I still loved her. ( Maybe I'm the crazy one!) YEAH, she literally had thousands of dollars and couldn't spend a measley 50 cents on the guy that saved her life and travelled thousands of miles to be with her. She used the excuse of "they told me if I contacted you then my kids would get taken. - NEWSFLASH - your kids already are with this douchebag that won't let you see them because you did him dirty too! It's whatever, she's a piece of shit anyway. She could have easily wrote an anonymous name on the letter.

The year before at the same time was when her and I did our little "outlaw"deal, and fled misdemeanor charges by going to Fayetteville from Asheville. She did like she always does and had the fucking cops come to our place we had just got( she didn't call she just caused a scene and the guy renting is the room called. ) So they came and left , but came back two hours later and arrested her. I stayed in the room and did not even let them get a glimpse of me ( remember, I had a warrant too!). So the next day, I rounded up about 12$ and took the trip to the jail which was about a half an hour away by bus. Before I went to the jail, I went by the post office and got a stamp and mailed her a letter telling her how much I love her. I then went to the kiosk and put my last and only ten dollars in the inmate kiosk, so she would at least be able to get something to eat and maybe write to me. ( She claims she wrote me and put money on my books , yeah right- fucking liar!) Remember, I have a warrant for my arrest in Asheville (3 hours away). I went to the jail and did a television visit with her. She was begging me to bond her out, her bond was like one hundred dollars.

It scarred me so bad from the fact that she just abandoned me that even to this day, I have heart problems t's my own fucking fault for falling in love with such a grimy, slimy, bitch like her. But yeah, I didn't get not one visit, letter, or phone call. Add that on top of being so heartbroken

[canceramorem]

Syracuse NY, not exactly where Jeypizzle would have ever imagined he would be at this point in his life (2018). Many years ago I swore to myself and to God that I would not travel, live or even visit any state north of Virginia. Including VIRGINIA. It should be called an " uncommon wealth" state, it's uncommonly unfair, and people like @valeriejanegreen are happy in such a miserable , fake, not quite Florida, and will never be California- state, such as Virginia. I used to have a sticker in the hotel room I resided in for two years, and it was one of those " Virginia is for lovers" stickers with a heart on it. But instead of "Lovers" , I had scratched it to say " Losers" . Yeah Valerie, you and your homeboy Duane Kookey, love Virginia and New York , "Virginia is for losers". And so is New York, mainly St Lawrence County .losers and people that are sex offenders. That's the home county of Marie But as far as I'm concerned, I would have just forgotten Virginia and points north altogether. I go south and west - FUCK GOING NORTH, FUCK NEW YORK MASSACHUSETTS RHODE ISLAND, ( I lived and grew up in Newport, Rhode Island. Do you know how bad ass Newport RI is ?) I lived by the way of points south, and to continue southbound. Well thanks Marie. Uh- hum "$carlett" .

Here is a little insight into this woman named Marie Clara Camp, a woman that I was, and still am, in fact, deeply in love with. Marie was born in 1975, July 9 to be exact. She is a cancer in the zodiac signs , and I am a Capricorn. I'm not big on horoscopes, and only recently did I discover this, that we are unlikely, but highly compatible soul mates. Marie has a disorder, well, a few actually....

Marie has 8 personalities, and all 8 of them are compulsive liars. It's not something that she (them- all 8 personalities) can control. She lies in order to preserve her Self-righteous image. Although she has a master's degree, she works in a fast food restaurant. She is such a lovable woman, but she hasn't been married ever, she goes to church , but will lie about going.

She can't stand to admit when she is wrong. ( Which is more often than not). Even when she gets caught in the act of doing something wrong , she claims plausible deniability , especially when it comes to cheating on me or flirting. Trying to twist it back on the person that caught her red- handed (me) .She will use the "poor Marie" defense,asking complete strangers for help, as if I did something to her . I have even seen her flirt with whatever man comes to her aid - because she usually makes a scene , yelling and screaming when confronted with any accusations that you bring against her. She will all but forget who I am and team up against me, with a complete stranger. saying " Jason this" or " he" did this or that ( referring to me, Jey pizzle). This always involves her denying it, and then either physically attacking me or yelling as to cause unneeded attention.

Just trying to get an honest 100% truthful answer from her is a lesson in futility, trying to get a straight forward answer from her is literally like forcing a cat into water. It's will leave you scratched ( emotionally) , and with a crushed ego. ( She will try and make you feel stupid, like you should have known that's just how she is, and shes not gonna change it ever.) She would mumble things under her breath and think that she was being honest with me. Well, she was telling me the truth, but I couldn't hear nor understand, what she was saying. It would end up with me getting so mad and upset because she said that she told me. Well, I didn't hear , so can you repeat it? And she wouldn't. Which led to me just going in circles with her and her personalities. It really is impossible for her to just tell the truth. This proved to be so exhausting, so draining that it actually caused me psychosis. So , here we were, two people in love. In love , and in this state of psychosis, but madly in love with each other. It turned out to be mind boggling , the way she would do this mumbling, and talking under her breath (Phychobabble). She thought it was normal. It was not normal. But I looked past the madness. I looked past it, and pushed forward with a love vengeance . Hoping that someway , somehow, she would just be honest with me. Because, as the zodiac suggests, and how I felt, I loved this woman . And I wanted to and still want to, is spend my life with her. I even offered to go to the psych-ward with her. Just so she wouldn't be alone in there. I meant it, I really would! But I was just a pawn in her game of power, you see to her, image is everything. She's like that Magazine 'Marie Claire' Do you think they show the real stories behind the plastic 'fake' girls that are in that magazine? Fuck No! And The Marie I fell in love with reminds me of the fake -ass ' perfect ' girls in that magazine, she paints a picture of perfection , but is far from perfect. I was and still am good with that, but at some point, we all need to be accountable for our actions, and My Marie Bear is no different. Maybe it's because she needs men to crash and burn for her. It builds up her sense of being a goddess. She has even told me she is a " Goddess" . More like a "Succubus". A Succubus that has sex with men and then steals their souls. Like she did to me. She sucked all of the good out of my soul and left me a brokenhearted, love- crippled -crash test dummy. Hopping on buses and traveling to be with her, while the whole time she was messaging " Marco Givenspace ", telling him things like " Mo and Marie". I even discovered messages between her and her online African -American lover. I discovered this gem of infidelity, accidentally. Can you imagine what this did to my heart. Hurt is an understatement. Pain is relative. This is just, I don't even know how to describe it, I guess call it , just plain old "shitty", to do to someone. To hear her tell it, she doesn't know who he is or why I saw it. I guess it wasn't meant for my eyes.

But messages to other dudes didn't matter. Bad decisions have always been a big downfall for Jeypizzle. And being so in love that it blinds your decision making process , like looking directly into the sun for five minutes without blinking, that's what the blindness was like. But even Stevie Wonder could see what was going on. I just used love as an excuse not to see the truth.

Throw in a few months of missing your twin-flame (soulmate), her asking you to come to her sooner rather than later, and the police raiding your spot, and you have the perfect recipe for "Escape from Asheville " pt 1 -brokenheart pie. Comes with a side order of regret and a big glass of fuck you Jpizzle to wash down the pain and problems that follow. What I once considered absolutely insane , I was more than ready to do the unspeakable, which was go through that damn New York port authority bus station. Toting bags, wasting money- Fucking drinks for like 6 dollars. The people , the rudeness, the cops , the everything I cannot stand, I was ready to embrace it with a big hug and kiss. And not to mention the money spent on these ' love trips ' to New York . Sure, the church financed most of them. So I guess that means I owe God for wasting church money on me , traveling on God's money to see Marie. Well you can have my soul God, well, what's left of it after she got it first, and left me with hardly any soul left. I feel like a casualty of love. That's when you love someone so much and they take all your love and don't give you back what you deserve, or at times, none at all.

This part of my departure from Asheville is still a little bit grey. I know that at some point , our hill was just off the chain with visitors, theives , junkies Angelas (nasty redhead). Yeah , it was a matter of time before shit went down. And if I was not hallucinating , then one night or really early in the morning , this day it went down just the way it should have -with me not getting arrested , and getting to Syracuse NY.

I was just casually gacked out , watching the darkness , dancing with Shadow people, and not sleeping. Which after a few days , can make you see shit . I went to check on my charging block at the Target 🎯 sign, I charged anything I need charged there. This night as I crept down the muddy embankment . I couldn't help but notice , what appeared to be Asheville police cars going down the rode single file , all the way to Chuck E Cheese! So, I crept back up the hill like a fucking crab backstepping from a big lobster. Fuck the charging blocks , fuck the gear I left up on the other Gary cook spot . I had my binoculars, some good shit, and a strong will to not get arrested, and most importantly I had the love of my life telling me she wants me and she loves me. I gathered up all of my tweeking capabilities and formed an escape- type plan. Ever -so -carefully, I avoided flashlights chasing me - , and a bunch of cops and more cops, trying to get something or somebody on the hill that was like a fucking disposal site for anything illegal. Good ole dollar tree hill had been the hottest spot in Asheville , for over a year. Since day one when Gary and I first found it. I had lived on the hill with my Marie bear, real bears ( a family of them) , and Gary . As heart wrenching and dangerous as it was , I had to leave and get to her in NY.

A big thank you to the ABCCM in black mountain for helping me get to my wife in Syracuse in September 2018, I am forever grateful for everything you-all have done for me. God is great! And we owe you immensely.

So I got into Syracuse on a Sunday. Of course , " Clara - Bell" ( same girl, different name) wasn't there to meet me at the station. She did tell me the address and it was a few miles away still. So I hauled ass, and in about an hour or so , she came out to see me in the rite-aid parking lot, hung for an hour, then went to where she was staying at , - a fucking domestic violence woman's shelter. And she was supposedly, running from me! Imagine that! Who runs from someone , yet tells them to come exactly to where they are at?

WTF , so I camped out and the usual , um , being treated like a fun dummy- is really the only thing that comes to mind. Clara Bell did bring me some food though. It was good and the cheddar cheese she brought , well it was right from New York state and was delicious, considering I was famished and just about starving.

I don't regret anything I did in the name of love or for her. I took the chances, and there is no such thing as reward without taking risk. I just want you to realize that I did everything you wanted , I was trying to overcome the odds , and at the same time make sure you were safe. The day when you walked by me and then rushed to get away so you could be with Jose, or the guy from that big church that you met the day you punched me in the head. Or whoever else, the guy from the " Ox", how you told him you needed help, and you were hanging around the fucking " Ox" . That's not loyalty, that is so hurtful to do to someone that loved you so much , locked me out of 511 Bellevue , you just hurt me so bad, I have been so faithful and really never did so much as kiss another woman. I couldn't, I really was lovestruck, love blinded , and under your spell. Here you were, living with all guys , and all these guys trying to get me out of the picture so they could have you. Finally I left new York, and left so hurt, I'm still not right to this day from that.

Getting on the bus to go to Texas , I believe that was the beginning of the end of my life, the time when having a broken heart so bad can actually fuck a person up and start cancer. It's not scientifically proven, but I know it didn't help my aging -heartbroken -46 year old self.

I felt like the biggest dummy. I had came to this fucking horrible place all because she asked me to, and not just one time! I had left when Marie went into the psych ward at St Joe's hospital and refused to have visitors. So I did what every person that wants to leave New York state does,(go to social services) I went to the Onanandaga county DSS office and pleaded for a bus ticket back to NC. well, my case worker, Stacy Butterfield asked me why. "Didn't you just come here for this woman?" - I told everyone the real reason why I was there. Which was for Marie, and nothing else. I didn't come to New York state for any kind of opportunity or to make a life there. I came to New York for the sole reason of being with Marie Camp. So I told the Butterfield Case worker lady that it didn't work out and that Marie had left me, and that she was in the mental hospital psych ward, and she didn't want visitors. Which is the truth. When she went into that hospital and she specifically told those hospital people that she didn't want me in there to visit her, I was so fucking hurt. And the fucking asshole New York Hospital security guards , they told me , just go back to North Carolina, she doesn't want you here. Well, I was at DSS the next morning trying to get back to NC. I'll never forget what the Butterfield woman said - " We are not a travel agency " and then she gave me a voucher to get a bus ticket. And I left New York and went back to North Carolina , only to return to New York a few weeks later when Marie gets out of the hospital and in a sweet caring voice ask me- " Why did you leave?". So I returned to Syracuse , because the thought of her being alone was just too much for me to handle. And when I returned it was more of the same. Except this time she was actually at the bus station to meet me, but let's jump to me leaving Syracuse and being back in Asheville while Marie was in the psych ward.

In between time when I got back to North Carolina from Syracuse the first time. I was like a zombie. Wandering aimlessly around the streets of Asheville in a daze. "Looking for Marie with a flashlight in the daytime" that's what it was comparable too. All I could think of was her . Love sick is nothing compared to " love crippled" , yes , love can do that to a person. It has a crippling effect on them. I was so love crippled , that I had to do something. So remember the character named " Tim" , he's the one who I thought was my friend . He was another homeless guy that thinks he is the shit. He is the one named in the email that I received from Marie (soundofloveintime@gmail.com) that email that says Tim basically forced her to have sex with him. All over some fucking dope - when I went to the hospital , freezing and heartbroken in the winter 2017, when we were in our early stages of the relationship. Well Tim knew I loved Marie, when I asked him nonshalantly about Marie, he answered " oh yeah, 'Crazy Marie', I bought her a cheeseburger one time". ( This infuriated me even more, because she loves food, and that was his in- food and dope). Tim was in my sights and I wanted nothing more than to fuck him up for what he did or what she says he did in that heartbreaking email from way back in 2017.

So guess who I ran into. Yup you guessed it , fucking RAPE-O - Timothy Fitgerald Wright. That's his full government name, Google it and you will see. He really is a rapist. And this is how funny life is... Tim and I had an " association" I never let him know that I knew what he did to the love of my life. So when I ran into him, I was all buddy -buddy with him. Plotting for a way to get him back for what he did while I was in the hospital. So what better way than get him where it hurts- his money. Well this was going to be easy, Tim wanted someone to open a bank account so he could deposit like 250$ in it. "Tim, I got you" , is what I told him , we went to the bank at Walmart on Airport Rd and within 15 minutes , had a balance in a checking account that was in my name, a balance of 250$. So we had to wait for the debit card to come or something to that effect. So we grabbed a box or two of some medicine so we could go to Tim's place and actually make some real medicine, you know " go" . So we got everything needed and Tim and his girlfriend Kelly, and myself headed out the long and windy road to his place in Fairview. (Tim had gotten disability at this point, had a place to live and money) We had to wait till the next day for me to actually start the medicine making process, that night at Tim's, I even talked to Marie on the phone. She denies she sent the email. Even to this day , she swears up and down that it never happened, that she never sent it. There's all kinds of conspiracy theories about it according to Marie. The point is, I got an email from her account and this fucking rapists name was in it and what it said would tear any man's heart to pieces.

So , the next day . I'm at this fucking RAPE-O clown, Tim's place . I was cleaning out the shed and getting ready to make some shit. Well, that's when three Buncombe county sheriff's deputies startled me. They asked me if I had seen Tim. I told them no , but then at that very moment , Tim comes walking out. Needless to say, he was arrested, he was arrested for rape. You see , Tim was a rapist. He was charged with raping a different woman and robbing her ( Not Marie). He was a certified rapist, and he raped the woman I love, and had gotten away with it. Tim was arrested, and I took the money that he'd given me to open an account for him. I took it and bought a bus ticket to Syracuse NY , and two days later. I was with her. There really is such a thing as God. Because Tim got what he deserved, well not completely. And suddenly , all my worries ended, and all my love pains went away, and once again, I was the happiest man on earth. Because I was with her.

She was there, at the Greyhound station waiting for me, and I hugged her so hard as if it were the last hug given by man to another woman on earth. We walked and within five minutes , we were in some bushes in the parking lot of "Destination USA" - the mall near the Greyhound station in Syracuse. We were in those bushes making love like two people that are madly in love. Cars passing by and they probably could see us. We didn't care, because we were in love , so much in love. Love is such a beautiful thing . True love never dies, I really believe that. It never dies, but it does most certainly kill. Just like the old Ed Hardy Tattoos. " Love kills slowly"

So , this is the part when Marie gets a place and the place is like a boarding house for men. She had gotten the place on her own, with help from DSS. Her landlord would prove to be another one on the long list of men trying to fuck my chick. It's very disheartening when you have someone you love so dearly , and they think it's ok to flirt. To flirt and actually get caught in the act and still deny it. Yup, that's Marie. Deny it completely , even when you get caught red handed- Just deny it.

The place was just a raggedy old ass three or four level big house. Just old. The landlord said , " make sure that when you leave, set off a bug bomb , to kill the bed bugs" . WHAT,? BED BUGS? ARE YOU SERIOUS MARIE? So, Marie didn't really want me around. I could sense it. I was staying in the absolute worst place I had ever stayed in. The "Ox" as it was called. Was short for the " oxford " men's shelter in Syracuse. It was absolutely horrible . And just the fact that I stayed there is testament to how much I loved this woman. This place was scumbag central. And I met a guy there. This guy actually knew Marie. He claims he met her there and that she was flirting with him too. Well , I don't think she knew, but this guy was out on parole and staying at the "Ox" , he was on parole for killing someone. So , here you go Marie, great choice of friends you have.Fucking flirting with murderers, and trying to get him to buy her a phone, that's what he said. And I believe him. Because he doesn't have any reason to lie.

Anyhow, so Marie finally got a place. I was so excited, we finally get some time alone. Or did we? Marie's kind heart will get you fucked up EVERYTIME!

DeeDee was this black chick that Marie had become friends with. Deedee was homeless and looking for someone to use. Well, here comes Marie on the scene. And I was there , so, I watched the whole thing go down , we met DeeDee on the street. She was trying to get Marie to take off and leave me. And like so many other times, I begged Marie , I begged her to tell DeeDee to get the fuck gone. It's always other people that get in our relationship and fuck it up. I've been telling Marie this from the very beginning. But , she thinks it's "cool" to help people and put them before me, because that's what she does , and did with DeeDee , and many others, so , here we are stuck with Marie's new friend DeeDee. So we go back to Marie's place. Dee Dee is upstairs and Marie and I are in her downstairs bathroom. We got so high, and we fucked so good, any man that had Marie after that night could not compare to what I did to her, and the way I made her feel . I had pretty much ruined it for any man after that night. That night set the standard for having sex and having sex with Marie. At one point I had her on her head , upside down , and right side up. It was, most definitely, no doubt in my mind , the best sex humanly possible. To finish it off , we decided to go up to her room. And set up a little divider , you know a partition like , so we could continue our night of sex. That's what we liked doing, getting high and having sex, literally all night and into the next day . Sometimes , for days. Yes, I could perform like that, and Marie, well , she's a machine. This chick can fuck like no other. I guarantee it. That's another reason why we are so good together, not good , PERFECT! So with DeeDee on the other side of the room, I commenced to going down on Marie . I was eating her out for at least three hours , if not more. Time stands still when we are together. And this time it wouldn't be any different. I was and still am , a master at cunnilingus . Marie will tell you, my head game is serious. But this particular night, I was going to town , eating , sucking , licking , you name it- for at least three hours , I was. Until I started itching. Then I would stop and scratch. And scratch some more and itch some more. And then DeeDee said, are they biting you too? Well folks , it's a wrap. Fucking bed bug psychosis is real. And I had it . Those fucking bed bugs ruined it , and me . I'm scratching now. Just thinking about it. Well, the next few weeks turned from bad to worse. With Marie locking me out of her place and leaving me alone to stay in some fucking shit hole shelter in Syracuse, a place that I only went to , because she asked me to. I was so hurt , and actually ruined from that experience, I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. So I gathered up my courage, and went to the Catholic Charities , and asked for a ticket away from her and there.....

So I returned to a place that I would never in a million years go to. And she acted like I was just some dumbass . Some fucking fun dummy, which I was. And the fucking pain she caused was like no other. And I will never forget, the lady from the Catholic Charities in Syracuse , the woman who brought me to the bus station , her name was Mary Jane I remember because she told me as she helped me into the terminal. She said " you'll be back" well, she was with the church. So maybe it was God , communicating through her. But either way you look at it. She was fucking right. Because as you will see if you keep reading this story, I do come back to the state of New York, whick would make it a trifecta of stupidness. A three- dummy strikes -and your out- you big Dummy, Jpizzle!

And so, it was Thanksgiving day in 2018. I arrived in Corpus that night. I was in a place I loved , but without the only woman I loved. Actually , she is the only person I really love. I love God, but I love Marie even though she does what she does. She doesn't realize the pain she causes. God , help me. I feel like a dog that was just dropped off at an animal shelter. Not given any reason why, just abandoned. My heart is hurting me really bad right now. I think I'm going to cry, God , why does love hurt so bad?, See there it goes, that fucking good heart of mine. It's like my heart is addicted to the pain called Marie Camp. Even after all the bullshit, and her doing nothing to improve our getting back together. She is happy without me, she has her ' freedom' as she calls it. Free to help out other dudes , freedom to fuck whoever, and freedom to delete her numbers and or block me. Freedom from me, what she fails to realize , is I will leave her alone, FOREVER. Because , my days are numbered. Yes, they really are. They told me , I have stage four cancer that has metastasized to my bones, yes, all throughout my body, the cancer has spread. And is thriving on my brokenhearted soul...

Although , at times , I feel as though , she knows, I am the best man for her. And that there isn't and won't ever be, someone that loves her as much as I .

[canceramorem]

THANKSGIVING 2022-

So I am guilty of being vindictive. I Posted pictures prior to this post of some woman in an attempt to hurt the love of my life's feelings. Whether or not she sees, it really doesn't matter. Because folks, Zytiga is real and bone metastatic cancer hurts. I actually had a better time in st Lawrence county jail, than I did when this " Marie " chick is at the wheel , driving the car of life . Especially when it would come to my life. Which I don't feel as though she held mine in high regards. I mean think about it. Wouldn't it be nice to have a personal crash test fun dummy , that would do whatever you told him . That's the thing I've noticed about certain white chicks that are from above the Mason Dixon line. Even if you're diagnosed with late stage prostate cancer , they are still gonna let you crash. And if they are not too bright, then their bad decisions will become yours before you can blink your eyes.

I remember Thanksgiving four years ago. Just like it was yesterday. I took the bus out of Syracuse, and pulled into Corpus Christi Texas with my trusty kit ( I had made some medicine in Syracuse and I kept a kit, it just comes with the turf, if you know how to make it, then you gonna party/eat/survive and stay awake). I had become quite fearless with the fucking kit. After all, getting caught would mean at least 3- 5 years in prison. Fuck it. I don't do It any more, but" if you don't have the kit then you ain't making shit" . Stashing the whole kit in a palm tree, a Washingtonia Robusta palm tree to be exact or more commonly known as " Mexican fan palm". With the kit safely hidden I started to walk to the place I would be staying at. It was late and I was tired , the first thing I did the next morning was go down to the Selena statue that's a 'must' have to do , a personal tradition I do every time I return to Corpus . Selena is a god down there. I am a huge fan of her, and the story of her rise to fame and untimely death is so tragic. Fuck Yolanda, I hope she burns in hell for murdering Selena.

So within 2 weeks , not only did i have a job, but it was at the mission where I stayed as well , I was driving for them, going out to pick up laborers up from the labor pool the Good Samaritan ran. It was a job site out on the island , renovating hurricane damaged homes. 30% of the homes on the island and in Corpus Christi area had damage from the hurricane the year before , which I had left to go to North Carolina. You see , I would go to North Carolina in the summer when it gets hot in Corpus Christi and then I go to Corpus Christi in the winter when it gets cold and winter in Asheville. I had learned how to make the stuff and it changed my whole world , I could go anywhere, the sky was the limit.

So I worked at the mission for a few weeks picking up their laborers up for the labor pool ,till one day I went out on a pickup and I stopped to get a Whataburger. ( very delicious burgers by the way ), and I fell asleep after I ate the burger , I slept for 2 hours. I woke up to my phone ringing and it was the office calling. Shit had hit the fan in the Good Samaritan office. So needless to say , they drug test me the next day and I failed, for yeah, speeding . That got me fired me, and that meant I had to move out . Because if you work there and you have a drug test that's positive , then chances are they're not going to let you stay there.

No problem, not a problem , so I called up my buddy Jimbo who had been staying in Corpus for many years , I knew Jimbo from a few years before and I stayed with him . He liked to do the medicine and he had another roommate that stayed there , JD . JD was from Oklahoma, so one day, me and Jimbo were making stuff . The first time I ever met him, JD pops up and he saw the kit and everything used and he says , You know how to do that ? He was looking at me like only people that know how to do that would . ' I do' , I said. We kind of developed the friendship from there , it turns out that he was an expert at the whole process , and from Oklahoma , he knew the old Indian way they do it , or whatever down there . So we started doing that . It is very cost effective, and because we needed money, we could get ahead . We needed cigarettes , we need to get out of the house, these guys are just old men and negative and grumpy and fighting all the time. They created a tense environment, and their hustle game was mediocre at best. And here I show up, with more motivation and drive than both of them put together.

So , I remembered the guy from the island that needed help . So I called him up , I had saved his number and his name is Joe and next thing you know , the three of us all had jobs out there and we had to go out to the island which was 40 minutes from Jimbo's apartment. This was early December , Christmas time. I'll never forget because it was Christmas time in South Texas and so much fun. I hadn't heard anything from Marie up to this point, then it had been almost a month . My birthday is December 28th. J D's birthday is a week before and Jimbo's is a week after , all three of us are Capricorns and imagine what that would be like , we were bumping heads every second of the day, everyone knew everything and it sucked . JD was being a dickhead because he thought I was teaming up against him with Jim. Jimbo, he's just a miserable fuck, and he'd gotten worse . So I decided I was going to stay at the house that we worked at because Joe lived in Dallas , so he was 5 hours away . He called us up , we'd give him our hours and he'd send the money , wire it. It was perfect for all involved. I helped out four people , just using my marketing skills and logistically speaking, it benefited everyone involved.( Texas is huge, people lived hours and hours away. I saved the owner tons of money. I felt awesome, I got a good job right after I left Syracuse New York. I was happy but I was heartbroken at the same time. It's a fucked-up curse that love is. And even though I was 2,000 miles away , I felt close when we Facetimed , talked and messaged. She's like a super powerful human magnet, she attracts me from a great distance , constantly drawing me to her.

December 28th -my birthday , we had been partying and celebrating life and holidays and everything . It was awesome , I really was happy but at the same time, sad , missing her . Well wouldn't you know, I had let JD use one of my phones, I always try to have at least two phones , helps me to make money and get jobs and stuff. Anyways, JD looks and it had a New York area code . Before he answered he passed it to me. There you go , a New York number, you know who it is, and sure enough, it was her on my birthday. For the second year in a row she definitely made my birthdays so much better. The year before in 2017, was my best birthday EVER ! Definitely the best birthday in my life. It was probably because of the big candy cane sex and the first time I had ever injected medicine intravenously , (in my penis). Hands down the best. I could die tomorrow, and at least I know I lived a full life. Thank you Marie for that. It's definitely one for the history books of coolness. Jey Pizzle is one thing, if not anything else, Jey Pizzle is a cool mother fucker, ( no pun intended).

So I did have my machete at all times , because that's what I dId, I cut stuff with my machete like landscaping and stuff. It's protection, and it is nice to have. It was a gift from Walmart, it cost about $30 or $25 it was a nice one, it went with me everywhere. I had gotten so used to having it, pretty much for two years straight. That fucking machete, I wish I would have gave it to Jimbo, because he stole one from the house we were working on that he found in the garage. I was so used to having it when I lived in the mountains. I had it to protect Marie from anything that might come our way, I also used it to clear bushes etc. when we were homeless. Well, we weren't homeless anymore, I should have gotten rid of it...

[canceramorem]

. So at this point in the love game I hadn't heard from the lovely Scarlett Marie. It was a hot summer that year too...

So July and August were horrible for me. I was still an emotional hostage of this women who came into my life like a category 5 Hurricane. Yeah she fucking had me in a whirlwind of bullshit from Asheville to fucking Fayetteville. Warrants in both cities for stealing like less than 20$ worth of items, i got bonded out on one and moved to catch a new one 30 counties away. That was in December and January, here it was , fucking late July and August. Between Asheville and Fayetteville I was playing " catch me if you can , I'm the fucking J Pizzle gingerbread man". I had identical charges in two different counties , four hours away from each other. One thing Jey Pizzle does not do is voluntarily turn himself in. And for people that do- you're stupid! I tried that one time in Florida, actually it was right after my daughter was born. You know what the "Honorable " Judge said? When I suggested turning myself in should be rewarded with a little leniency, that fucking asshole said , "well you should have done that any ways" , and then the fuck held me on a bond that I could not afford. Well its safe to say, that I will never turn myself in, nor will I ever look at a judge with anything but disgust. Only God judges me mother fuckers, A judge is nothing but a fuck- head cop with more earthly power than God. And do you know how much a judge makes a year? When they retire, they make fucking bank , like $250,000 a year AFTER they retire. And guess who pays for the Judges Salary? Yup, you got it right, Jon Doe and Joe Blow. Fucking fun dummies. The whole system is designed to make crazy money and pay these judges so much money, and they are usually fucking asshole smart asses too,. Try saying a word to one and the court cops will fuck you up. Yeah , "your honor"- go FUCK off. One time I was in a counselor/confidential type setting trying to fight my case using one of my trusted defenses. And I was not in a good mindset. I said something about the judge and something about an explosion, just wishing his house would blow up. That fucking counselor rat-bitch ran to the phone and next thing you know, The Marshall's came , threw me in a big black Suburban , and drove me two hours away from that particular judges "court" (like they own it - bastards) the next morning I was arraigned and they said i could get 48 months for threatening one of those cock sucking Judges! They ended up dropping it, because what most people don't realize is that if you are not sober, you can use the intoxication defense. These little bullshit charges were such a

pain In the ass. I would have to get back to Asheville from the "Ville " (Fayette) and I would lose all my good gear and shit because when they picked me up in the park there by Bartlett Arms, I had hid my stuff with Robins stuff. I brought her to Gary because she was looking to make some money , fucking trickin . Gary sends me to the store to get something , it was a fucking cock-suckin , cock- BLOCKING, setup. He didn't answer his door, had Robin in there and I was a sitting- fuck duck- there in the park. Two cops swooped in out of nowhere, ran my name and it was a wrap. Two weeks later, I was released, it was like this- i am arrested,

From there , about a week in Buncombe Jail, and then Cumberland county came to get me and I was out in like three days from there. Finally got the old little bullshit charges gone and done . But the events leading up to that ,well , it just goes to show just how strong the love curse Marie had on me is.

I wondered if I would ever see her again. It was like part of me was missing. I couldn't go anywhere or look at anything and not be reminded of her. It fucked things up in other areas as well. I was the laughing stock of all of my friends. They would team up and say , oh yeah, I just saw her car hopping up by Ingle's, I'd be across town somewhere trying my hardest to get to ingles, hoping I'd catch you. You weren't there, and people, just said shit because they couldn't love as much as I did you. But it was all just cruel jokes. You had left the state and I knew it , because , like I said, I had that empty feeling. And I honestly believed and still do, that we are twin flames.

Down on the French broad river, I was hanging out with Chris and a guy named Straps. Now Straps and Marie had a fling or something going. Before I got with her. I knew about it and it was all good . As straps was there with his new white girlfriend. Her name is Robin. Both he and Chris were trying to get rid of Robin, I guess they just got sick of her, I don't really see how. I mean , Robin was pretty cool. She really was. Like so many people that end up in Asheville, Robin apparently had been living in or from the Charlotte area. So had straps. His real name is Taquis (Tah-Qweez). He was in his mid Thirty's and looked like a young version of T-Pain. Its funny, because I love real gangsters , not posers. " Be true to yourself and you will never fail' . So straps as it seems is some sort of gun expert. Hence the street name ' straps'. You know , like when someone is "strapped " up. Etc. Supposedly old dude straps is known for his ability and knowledge of real -life guns, I guess pistols , I am not sure. I do know this - there are three things that Jey pizzle loves with a passion in life. And jeypizzle , when he likes something, he goes over the edge learning about it and mastering it.

1)- Español, or in English, the Spanish language. This is probably my most valuable asset. Spanish has not only-got me fed, got me paid, got me laid, got me out of trouble, its something that no one can take away from me, its fucking cool, I love it, I know it I really honest and truly am so fluent in Spanish, that I have had Spanish people roll out the red carpet for me. Yeah, I love Spanish. Me encanta Español. I'm an expert at it.

2. Guns- Ever since I was a little boy, I have wanted a motherfucking Ak- 47. I have owned dozens of firearms in my life and know how to pretty much build my own from stuff at the metal machine shop in any high school. As a matter of fact, I had to take a five hour hunter safety course when I lived in Missouri, just to get a deer tag to go hunting. My very first gun was a .22 short Ruger revolver, 5 shot side corral loader , it was black a had plastic white handle. I was 19 years old in Miami Florida, ( MIAMI NOT CHARLOTTE!). My buddy Dan gave it to me. He said if I didn't take it, he was gonna kill someone with it. I gladly took the pistol present. In the nearly half a century I've been alive, I have shot thousands of different guns. Never have I stolen a gun , nor have I ever disrespected firearms. Yes, I am a Marksman, and expert at target shooting as well. I just love guns. So when I got the chance to talk to The so called expert about guns, " Strap" - this fool, didn't even know the difference between a .22 long rifle or a .25 center fire cartridge. So we discussed Marie, I had to know every little juicy detail I could . He said he felt bad for her, and I believed him. After seeing straps in action ( trying to give himself a shot of some of the shit I cooked ). I knew that Marie was right. He most definitely had a head injury alright. Its called mentally challenged, wanna -be bad ass , wearing red -like a blood , but sporting a blue L.A. Dodgers hat ( arch enemies in the gang world). He was shaking uncontrollably and had what appeared to be having seizures or something similar, he was convulsing at the mere sight of what I consider "mediocre dope". Don't forget, Pizzle had mastered the art of the clandestine cookout, "Shaking" it up, with excellent yield. I use only the best ingredients, the shit they had for me to use was leftover dollar tree trash. Point is , he had threatened me one time when I was with Marie at Bartlett Arms , because we didn't hear him and his white girlfriend at the time , Lay Lay. They were at the gate trying to get in and he mumbled something to the effect , that he was gonna drag me. I didn't say shit, it was about 8 months or so prior. Straps, had nothing bad to say about my Boo Marie, or I probably would have mopped the train tracks with his head. Just because of the time he showed out in front of lay lay and marie at Bartlett. Anyhow, he's alright . I just couldn't believe that he actually like, had Marie , like hanging out with him . I am sure they fucked, but i dont understand why white , good looking chicks, not just Marie, why they buy into this bullshit story of him and his knowledge of guns and the street. Because as a real man, he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, I could beat him on every level.

The third thing in life that I have the most passion for is this woman , Yes, the same one who had -ripped my heart out, threw it on the ground , stomped on it three times , then put it in backwards, ripped it out again, and then puts it back in the right way and gives you a kiss on the cheek afterwards, while calling you 'Sweetie '. Yeah, that's what the pain of this heart break-separation/leaving pizzle/Marie takingoff/ - felt like.

We met at the most unexpected , and probably needed time in my life. I don't want this make anyone look bad, but yeah. I have a tremendous amount of passion for this woman, and only for her. I love you Marie. With passion, compassion, all ...

So after a couple days I was like fuck this shit, I need to have sex, It was hard for me to even talk to other girls because of the love curse and spell I was under. The truth is, that I was gonna bring Robin out of the river and up to Love Mountain, where Marie and I had stayed for a while, I had to do something, because it was so unfair what Scarlett Marie had done to me, I really, really am dying at this point. Dying heartbroken is horrible.

I mean , goddamn man, I was so worried about you, it literally made me sick , worrying about you. I didn't have any closure what so-ever. I wanted to know so much more about her , I wanted to grow old with her, and have good , normal , non- homeless times with Scarlett.

Mainly , I just wanted to know if what we had was real, because the feeling we shared was that of a 'Gone with the Wind ' type romance. The reality of the whole sordid , confusion, was that the only type of "romance" we had was "Bad Romance" (Lady Gaga song). 'Gone wth the wind 'feeling , but Lady Gaga- "Bad Romance " reality.

, Pizzle had it bad( lovesick/heartbrokeness), because their was no getting out of Marie's Love Curse , I say that because, here i was , literally with Robin, in the river , both of us naked, and maybe could have- fuck that- SHOULD have- had sex, but Jey Pizzle, was so infatuated with Scarlett Marie, that he didn't even do anything , but tell Robin that she had a nice body. Then gets dried up and dressed. And saves Robin from the river and boredom of being stuck there with nothing, by bringing her to Gary. So , yeah, pizzle really was faithful. Not even trying to do what the average man would have done, which is at least try to have sex with Robin. Instead, he does some things that a "fun dummy" would do. Making bad decisions in the name of love is fucking stupid. A man can get so fucked up in his head over a woman , that he might as well be a crash test dummy. Because he will be headed straight for a dummy mission if he thinks a woman really "needs " him.-Better off crashing into a brick wall head first. A fucking good time never hurt no one, yeah right , try being a fun dummy- you'll be blinded by the fucking love light, more like a fucking police flashlight as they are ruining your life, " in the name of love", while she's " making love " to someone else.Youre ass will be in jail , and she'll be under the bridge on Gillespie street in the Ville having threesomes with two dudes while smoking crack. You know how you can tell most women are lying, Their lips are moving! There are some Good ones out there though, and addiction shit ain't no joke for some people. I got some friends that have stay in TROSA. That shit ain't no joke . They have to be held accountable for every lie and all about how telling(snitching) is the way to quit crack cocaine. It's called "behavior modification" a two year rehab. What do you know about that?....

She left and I was so fucked up in the head, I had no game . and to make matters worse. I still had a lingering arrest warrant in Fayetteville , from when I was there the winter before. When Marie Boo and I were in our " misdemeanor outlaws" phase. Well, I had gotten caught stealing food, flashlights and whatever else she wanted. We used to go in anywhere, and whatever she wanted, I'd fucking get it one way or the other. It is wrong to steal , but she made it seem like it was legal to go "shopping " , which equates to shop- lifting. I got popped in Fayetteville while I was already out on p.r. in Asheville for the same shit- stealing, ( For My Boo). So, Marie did get me out..i n the past January, It was like 60$ or something, but the fact she got me out, well I don't think she even knows to this day, what I would do for her, which is ANYTHING! But I was gonna try and do what any normal man would do , which Is get laid. But i am not any normal man. As she once told me, "You're different from the others" . Well, you shall see how that works out for this "love fool", fucking fun dummy J pizzle...

[canceramorem]

Birthday 2018- So, yeah, she called me on my birthday and I talked to her like usual- every day , and every chance I got. Before I left Syracuse, i sent her a Christmas card, I enjoy sending her stuff in the mail. There's just something about her getting my love in the form of mail. I had sent her things and she enjoys it. Because everything I send her is from the heart. For some reason or another we stopped talking for a few weeks. It was January, and the time just flies by. And I'm still just as heartbroken as can be.

On January 31, 2019, I finally broke down and messaged her. I asked her how do you heal a broken heart. Well, she answered me back, and the answer was the one I was looking for.

Within like ten minutes, she sent me back the message above. She got it right on the money with that answer. Immediately my heart ache went away. We were back to square one in the game of love, actually we were way past square one, on the love odometer- in miles, it would easily be in the thousands.

I had gone to New York twice already from North Carolina , and not New York City, try six hours north of NYC (348 miles) . This chick lived literally in Canada. She does, Ottawa is like a neighboring town, except it's an international border. It's a stone's throw away. If you look across the St Lawrence river you can see Canada, and trust and believe, in the wintertime it's as cold as her heart can get - way below freezing! (NC->NY then she goes into st Joe's psych ward , so I leave -NY->NC then two weeks later, "why did you leave?" So I returned, NC->NY , then on two days before Thanksgiving , NY->TX ) , trust me there's more to come.

There were also the little trips too. Like the time I told the judge a little white lie ( my girlfriend is pregnant and needs me) , to get out of jail. And to make it even more difficult -with no money and not even a jacket to wear , I grinded & hustled and with God's help , I managed to get to her the next day. And to show her my love for her - I brought her 100$ worth of Valentine's day candy. ASHEVILLE to FAYETTEVILLE

Also there was the time when she left to South Carolina. I sold my plasma to get the money for a Greyhound bus ticket there. ASHEVILLE to GREENVILLE

Plus the countless times on foot. I know for a fact, I have walked over 100 miles to be with her. If that's not love, then I don't know what is.

[canceramorem]

[canceramorem]

After a little bit of bullshit, I had to set Scarlett straight. Because there really were people out to get her, get her away from me. And also to keep her hostage to Asheville. I believe it to be the mountains and just the place itself. These mountains are so unforgiving, and the secrets that they must hold. And after all, we were a bad ass couple that were a result of Asheville. The place really is like no other place on earth. In so many ways. Some say its " weird" , well that's an understatement. Asheville will fuck you up and have you coming back for more , as if you liked pain. The pain that is Asheville. Because , when it wants, the place can be down right evil. I mean , look at me. I've left and come back here so many times its like almost a dozen times. And now I am not far away from becoming a permanent part of these hills. Its like Asheville gave me a terminal disease, so I would never leave her again. Yeah, Asheville is definitely a bitch and not a dude.

So , the last time Marie and I would actually be together in Asheville was July 2018, right before her birthday. ( God that just made me fucking cry! OUCH! ) , IT WAS July 7, and we had a filter gathering , you probably don't remember. You were in a different personality, it was actually a 9th personality I didn't even know existed within you. Remember, I said from the beginning, you have 8 personalities, and I knew all eight of them. Ok

HE SAID TO TELL HER THAT SHE HAS EIGHT PERSONALITIES OR ALTER EGOS OR I DONT KNOW WHAT ITS CALLED. BUT YEAH I WASNT KIDDING.I HAVE MET ALL EIGHT. .

[canceramorem]

@pizzlelovedope

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[canceramorem]

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